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#and bullied someone into sending me this ask
nevernonline · 2 days
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✧.* grow as we go; svt smau.
entry #17; happy trails.  
synopsis: over the past ten years you’ve fallen in love many times. one day someone happens to stumble across your journal sitting out on your nightstand and started posting your entries online. after all of your secrets are leaked it’s clear things would ever be the same again.
𐦍 paring: svt members x afab! reader.
𐦍 feat: non-idol! svt
𐦍 genre/s: reader is super angsty low-key, fluffy, sexual themes.
𐦍 content: swearing, bullying, crazy ex’s, mentions of sexual relations, some drinking& mary jane 🍃
word count: 3.2k
note: a fully written chapter for my baddies. 🖤
masterlist ▸ 016 the part we play. ▸ 018 damage control. (coming soon!)
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Keys are jingling in her face as Joshua stands inches above her head. Smiling down at her still trying to buckle the torture device women call heels. 
"Are we ready yet, princess?" 
Y/n didn't respond with words but a big sigh meaning no. Packing her purse frantically while she runs around the apartment in search of lipstick to match the red of her dress. 
“Y/n, you’ll be fine. I would say trust me but I feel like we're beyond that.”
Running back and forth between rooms she still didn’t know what to say to Joshua, she  decided to let the tensions between the two of them go away for the night as they tackle the bigger fish. 
“Josh. I know. Minghao texted me that he’s going to pretend to be on Mimi’s side. He said we have to be careful. I’m just not sure why.” 
“We’re like seven against one. It will be fine.” 
“Will it? Who knows what she’s capable of, she's very capable of taking all of you down to get to me. She proves it all the time. Maybe I just shouldn’t go. This is stupid even entertaining her.” 
“Do you still care about me and Minnie? Even if you don't, you do care about Minghao. I know for a fact if you don’t show up she will blackmail us forever. I also have a feeling she’ll go for Seokmin somehow, she knows he’s weak. If she can’t take you down, she will definitely take him down.” 
“Then let’s end this once and for all, please.” 
Locking her front door, feeling fire in her gut to take down the girl who had done everything in her power to hurt y/n, she couldn’t help but feel like there was something brewing that she wouldn’t be able to come back from. 
With the air around her full of pressure, she sat in silence in the back of the uber next to a friend who used to be her entire world and now was barely a part of it. 
Something about the ride to Mingyu’s bar felt like it was going to be the last time she saw herself like this, full of anxiety about the days going forward, worried that the other shoe will drop. 
When the two of them finally arrived they were met with an obnoxious banner outside the front door, that the bar was closed for an ‘exclusive’ event. 
Seokmin was standing off to the right, clutching his phone in his hand, looking obviously nervous waiting for y/n to arrive. 
She quickly jumped out of the car with a thank you and ran into his arms, holding onto him for dear life before you went inside. 
“You look beautiful, y/n. Perfect revenge dress.” 
“Thank you for being here to help me.” 
“Where else would I be? Hi, Josh.” 
“Hey, Seok. Where are.. You know.” 
“Out back, they parked Won’s car in the staff lot and are waiting back there.” 
“Okay. Cool. Let them know we’ll give them a signal to come in.” 
Walking through the front door, still sticking Seokmin on her arm. Feeling his physical touch to put y/n at ease following behind Joshua. 
There was a table set up at the front, small bags designed for everyone's phones at coat check, the security guard asked to confiscate everything on them including  their bags. 
Getting a deep wondering look in her eyes, Joshua was asking for permission if it's okay, though she was apprehensive to hand over the items that could be useful for her escape if needed she knew but she also knew she had to do it. 
Seokmin told the guard he just had to send a final message, assuming it was to the nerd back in the parking lot, you just sent him a small smile. 
After hanging over the personal items, the three piece crew, much smaller than normal, were handed numbered masks, assumingly part of Mimi’s plan to know who is who. 
“Guys, please stay close. Okay?” 
“We’re not going to leave you, y/n. We promise. 
“Good.” 
Placing their masks over their eyes, Seokmin in something that looked like a green dragon, Joshua a white jester, and y/n a black sparkly mask with two small horns placed over her eyebrows. 
“I see she still has a sense of humor.” 
“I’m not sure if I think this is very funny, y/n.” 
“Humor keeps me living, Shua.” 
“Clever.” 
Walking through the black velvet curtain, there were swarms of people everywhere, some holding trays with champagne and other clear liquids, a parade of dancers on tables, and some party goers looking at the three of them, trying to suss out who they were. 
“How the fuck are we going to find her in here?” 
Y/n leaned into Seokmin’s ear and whispered the things Minghao had told her before she gave up her phone. 
Minghao was supposedly the only male guest in some type of red mask and knowing Mimi it had something to do with the devil. 
“Guys, I’m going to go grab us some drinks, don’t take anything from anyone if they offer you something. She may have spiked a drink since I’m sure she knows you’ve arrived.” 
Joshua was right, y/n hadn’t even thought about the possibility of Mimi doing something dirty to take her out and make her embarrass herself. 
Y/n pulled Seokmin along to the bathroom that was sitting next to the bar, locking them both inside for a moment to talk before their night. 
“Look. Let’s not drink anything, okay? And we can’t eat either. Joshua reminded me of something from that video of me that Mimi had put out at Minghao’s event. She said she could get us some stuff to have a fun night and to loosen me up more so I could go over to Joshuas and lose my virginity.” 
“She’s so sick. Y/n I'm so sorry.” 
“It’s fine. I just don’t want anything to happen to you, because if i-” 
With a small scream from Seokmin and y/n from a small knock on the door, she just yelled out they’d only be a minute, but the knocking persisted. 
“Y/n? It’s Minnie. Let me in.” 
“Uhh, Seokmin is having a bit of a bathroom emergency. Just one second.” 
“Guys. I know you’re lying, just let me in. I know you don’t want to see me. But, please.” 
Unlocking the door and letting Minnie slide through the crack, you noticed her mask as something to be aware of. It was some sort of bunny with pink crusted jewels all around it. 
“What do you want, Minnie?” 
“Seokmin, just let me talk okay?” 
“Fine.” 
“I know you guys don’t want to see me, I’m sure Joshua explained a little bit of what was going on considering you came with him here willingly. Just know I didn’t do it to hurt you, I did it to save myself. I was being selfish. Mimi knew stuff that I have never told anyone, not even the two of you, she was threatening telling my parents and I couldn’t come back from that, they’d nev-” 
“Minnie? We don’t care right now, why did you want to come in here?” 
“Because, I have an idea.” 
“Which is?” 
“Let me trade places with you tonight. Give me your dress and mask. That way whatever she tries to do to you, it’ll be me instead.” 
“But, our hair is different, they took my bag so I don’t have the matching lipstick for you to wear.” 
“Mingyu is doing work in his office, you can go hide in there with him. I have an overnight bag with some stuff in it that you can put on. I think it’ll be better if we're both not out there.” 
“What about Seokmin? And wouldn’t she be suspicious if you’re not out there?” 
“No. When I came to set up, I told her I wasn’t feeling well and that I wanted to go home early. She doesn’t even know he and I are still here.” 
“How do I know this isn’t part of her plan?” 
“Because I didn’t tell her about your friends waiting for you outside and about you and Minghao being friends still? Other than that you just will have to find it in your gut to believe me even if I betrayed you.” 
“Okay.” 
“Y/n are yo-” 
“Seokmin, I’m sure.” 
“Aright. We’ve been in here too long hurry up and change, Joshua is probably confused.” 
“Follow me to the office, we'll swap there.” 
Minnie led y/n and Seokmin down to the end of the hall holding her eagle eye on the room full of party go-ers looking for Mimi before making a clear getaway into the room Mingyu was held up in. 
Unlocking the key to his office door. Minnie swooped her former best friend into the room where Mingyu was sitting at his desk, airpods in his ears, sipping on a beer. 
“Hey.” 
“Hi, Gyu.” 
“Long time no see, y/n. Seokmin.” 
“We miss you, big dog.” 
“I know, Seoky.” 
“Mingyu, y/n is going to stay in here with you while me and Seokmin go around the party. Okay? Keep her safe.” 
“What about Seokmin?” 
“Why does everyone keep asking about me?” 
“Because, you’re the glue.” 
“Aw, Mingyu.” 
“Guys. Turn around so we can change.” 
“Why it’s not li-”
“Mingyu.” 
Y/n giggled at the interaction between Mingyu and Minnie, still unsure if they’re officially together or not, but she had hoped they were. 
Slipping out of their dresses, y/n changed into Minnie's casual clothes, a pair of grey sweatpants and hoodie as Minnie slid into the red dress that fit like a glove. 
“I have makeup wipes and other stuff in my bag, feel free to use it.” 
“Okay.” 
“Ready, Seok?” 
“I think so, but what about Minghao? And the guys?” 
“I can call them for you, I still have my phone.” 
“But, how will you know when?” 
“Cameras.” 
“Wow, no shit. Okay. Be safe.” 
“Seokmin?” 
“Yeah, y/n?” 
“If you see Minghao.” 
“Don’t worry.” 
As y/n was peeling her makeup off, Minnie and Seokmin slipped back out the door they came in from and back into the party hoping to uncover truths for their friends as she was stuck in an office with her old flame, in secret once again. 
“Want a beer?” 
“Please.” 
Mingyu handed over a glass bottle as he popped the top off swiftly, y/n chugged at the golden liquid hoping it would settle her stomach slightly. 
“Minghao, huh?” 
“What?” 
“You guys, are uh? Dating? Friends?” 
“We’re just friends.” 
“For now.” 
“What?” 
“You like him.” 
“I did. I don’t even know anymore.” 
“You do. You just don’t trust him.” 
“Not fully, no. Not yet. I really only trust Seokmin and the guys. Which is sad.” 
“Not even me?” 
“I’ll be honest, I thought you had something to do with it for a while.” 
“Y/n, come on.” 
“I just wasn’t sure. Joshua told me everything. I know you didn’t. I’m sorry I doubted you I guess.” 
“Do you think if all of this never happened things would’ve been different between us?” 
“Maybe. How are you and Minnie?” 
“The same. I think she has a lot of stuff to work out before anything would ever be able to happen seriously.” 
“Like?” 
“A lot of things she should tell you herself, but I don’t like that she hurt you.” 
“Mingyu, you know-” 
“No. I know. It’s silly I still like you after you made it clear to me your feelings, but I can’t help it. I’m competing with your childhood crush and your knight in shining armor I get-” 
“No. Mingyu.” 
Y/n pointed to the screen, watching Minnie approach who y/n thought was maybe Mimi, watching their interaction carefully. Mimi ran her hand over Minnie's masked face and took Seokmin’s hand in hers, jumping a little bit off the ground. Holding her hands out to show them the work she had put in for y/n's birthday. 
“Do you think she knows?” 
“That it’s not you? Maybe. She is a good liar.” 
“She definitely is.” 
Y/n noticed to their side seated at a table was Minghao, something about his demeanor and watchful stance, plus the hint of the red mask, let her into the detail. 
“That’s Hao.” 
“In the red? Where’s Josh?” 
“To the left. White mask.” 
“What do you think they're talking about?” 
“No clue.” 
Mimi handed Seokmin and Minnie drinks off the tray that were brought over and cheered them on as she went to take her spot on the stage to introduce the DJ for the evening and also thank the guests for coming, a sign the party was officially in full swing. 
Y/n and Mingyu kept watching on as Seokmin and Minnie sipped their drinks, when he suddenly stopped her from putting the cup to her lips and swapped their drinks without letting Mimi onto what he was doing. 
“Do you really think she’d drug your or Minnie, but your drinks?” 
“I do. I told Seokmin to be careful. Joshua was the one actually who told me.” 
“Why do you think she hates you so much?” 
“Because I’m the only person who never put up with her shit.” 
“And you’re the only person who can get what she wants but can't have?” 
“Not true.” 
“It is. She wanted Josh, she got him, but really he wanted you. She got Minghao to fall for you unintentionally even though she had him first and wanted him to do her dirty work by lying. She hates you because you’re everything she isn't. Kind and Honest.” 
“I don’t feel that way. I never tell people what I want. Even Seokmin. I don’t know how to tell people my true and honest feelings. I just skirt around them. I act like I’m okay and I’m not. I’m not okay. I sometimes feel like she’s onto something. Maybe she’s helping me go after things I need.” 
“See.” 
“What?” 
“Even though she’s fucking with your life you have compassion enough to say maybe she’s helping you. You’re a good person, y/n.” 
“Maybe.” 
“Trust me. That’s why I fell in love with you.” 
“Don’t. Mingyu, please. Not now.” 
“I’m sorry.” 
“Don’t be.” 
As the pair was sitting and drinking at Mingyu’s desk, they entirely missed Mimi’s devious actions in spiking the drink that belonged to one of their friends.
“Wait. Why is she on stage?” 
“She’s talking.” 
“Do you have sound on your cameras?”
“Yeah, one second.” 
Mingyu unmuted his laptop and watched as Mimi paraded around the stage. 
“Hello, everyone. I’m Mimi, of course. I know you can’t tell under my mask. But, I’m here to celebrate the birthday girl, y/n. She has been in my life for a long time, we were such good friends as kids. Did you know y/n stole my boyfriend? It’s funny, she’s always doing things people don’t expect. I want to bring her up here tonight to let her tell you her story for herself as she turns another year older. y/n? Can you please come to the stage?” 
Seokmin nudged Minnie who was looking unwell, the girl on his side pretending to be someone she wasn’t slinked onto the stage next to Mimi, clearly inebriated. 
Mimi smirked and handed her the microphone, letting her know it was time for a speech. 
“Uh, Hi. Sorry, I’m not feeling well.” 
The crowd of people they may or may not have known the girl who stepped on the stage wasn’t the girl of honor, y/n and Mingyu watched in disbelief holding eachothers hands without realizing it. 
Minnie fell to her knees which prompted Seokmin and other masked guests including Joshua and Minghao to run to her side as the microphone cracked loudly over the speakers. 
Mingyu tugged tightly on y/n’s hand before she forced him to run out to the girl left on the small stage who had fainted. 
Y/n was sitting and watching everything go down when all of the sudden the lights cut out, following the last bit of light from the computer screen. 
“Y/n?” 
“Hello? Who is it?” 
“Aw, are you scared?” 
“Mimi?” 
“Who else?” 
“What's wrong with Minnie?” 
“Oh she’ll be fine. You should know better than to cross me. Bold of you both to go against what I actually had planned, but she meant well. I can't fault her for that."
“What do you want?” 
Y/n felt Mimi’s presence beside her, her breathing slowing more in the faint black room. 
“You. Well, for you to go away.” 
“If I agree to what you want, will you leave my friends alone?” 
“Yeah. I need you to do something for me first.” 
“What is that?” 
“Lie for me.” 
“Why?” 
A flashlight suddenly lit up the room, illuminating both of the girls' faces, Mimi had a sinister smile on her face. 
“Because you owe me.” 
“What do I need to do? And before I agree you have to promise me all of them will be okay.” 
“I promise.” 
"So?"
“I need you to go, I need you to find somewhere out of the city. I’ll tell your friends the rest. I put a bag in my car out front. It has everything, your phone, your wallet. Just get in and drive. I don’t care where you go, but just know if you show back up or contact them. I’ll find you. I’ll handle everything else.” 
“How do I know I can trust you?” 
“Hm. I’ll give you this.” 
Mimi handed y/n a small pink zip drive hooked onto her key unit. Something for her to hold onto. She took it in the palm of her hand and shoved it inside the pocket of Minnie’s sweats. 
“Can I ask you a favor if I do this?” 
“I guess. What is it?” 
“Take care of Seokmin and Jun. Even if you don’t get too close to them, just make sure they are alright. Everyone else can handle themselves. I just need to know the two of them will be okay.” 
“Yes, y/n. Your bitch boys will be well taken care of.” 
“Okay.” 
Y/n took the keys from the top of Mingyu’s desk, ready to make her exit as the tears welled up in her eyes. 
“Y/n?” 
“What?” 
“Aw, don't cry. I just need you to sign this letter I wrote. So they think it's from you.” 
Y/n took the pen from Mimi, only reading the first few words of the fake letter meant for her friends and signed her name at the bottom. Maybe it wasn’t right, but she knew if she ever got the chance to apologize they’d understand. 
“Actually can I ask you for one more thing before I go, Mimi?” 
“Yep.” 
“Why does it have to be like this?” 
“Well because I know if I don’t force you out I’ll never get what I want. Good luck, y/n. You’ll need it.” 
“Thanks. I guess.” 
Y/n slipped out the back door of Mingyu’s bar for what she thought would be the last time. She took a deep exhale watching her breath follow the wind as she walked to Mimi’s car and slammed the door shut behind her. Finally letting the tears fall from her face before she started it and drove away. 
She made a promise to herself as she left, just minutes until she became a year older. That somehow she’d find her way back, even though she may be picking up the pieces of what she left behind.
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note: my girl y/n going thru it?? everyone going thru it?? ik she's not a text chapter but I hope u enjoy!! (also fully writing my author note low-key drunk?) anyway! after the next two chapter + the epi my big gawg is ending (sad?) but I hope u all will enjoy my pfd fic etc sorry it took me so long to get her up I wanted her to be good! ok! (steam nct dream smoothie ?? or unknown the whole album hits ily??)
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taglist: @sun-daddy-yoriichi@hipsdofangirl@kissesfrmwonwoo@minhui896@wonwooz1@porridgesblog@jasssy051@soonyoungblr@saucegirlreads@musingsofananxiouspotato@young-adult-summer@punkhazardlaw@bibs-world@the-swageyama-tobiyolo@wonuulvr@woozixo@k-drama-adict@90s-belladonna@blaycke@dnylwoo@to-mi-yo, @nonononranghaee
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katyspersonal · 7 months
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I really feel like such a helpless adult baby sometimes. Some things just take too long while to heal, and even when I think I've got no more pain left, something refuels it. Some wounds feel like putting a fireplace somewhere in innermost part of one's being; as long as it is there, there is a risk of someone throwing fuel in it and making it burn. And these fireplaces are so, SO darn hard to uninstall. Just.. how do I heal this?
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mo-ok · 2 months
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Tsurugi babying his pitching arm
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peppermintmochafem · 21 days
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Would you let me play with some of the other pets in here, if they'd also like that? I'm sure you could match me with another puppy and we could playfight, get some of that energy out. You could watch and make sure it doesn't go too far. If you wouldn't encourage that, I mean.
Awww what are a good reminder that you are just entertainment for me to use and enjoy 🥰
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femme--de--lettres · 10 months
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sorry but i think it’s a bit…unfair to say that a person receiving hate anon/harassment/targeted vitriol should be ‘kind’ or ‘sympathetic’ to the person doing it just because they might be uncomfortable with *seeing* hp in their notifications. like, you’re not gonna get a safe space on the internet. people have to know how to deal with discomfort effectively and essentially throwing a temper tantrum and hurting another person who did nothing except add innocent tags should not be tolerated, in my opinion. especially when blocking is so much easier.
you do not know the person on the other side of the screen, and to treat them like shit because you’ve made assumptions on the basis of something as trivial as a tag is just. yeah. not great i think. and the previous anon—i don’t think they should be told to just deal with it as if liking hp is some inherent fault in them that will attract shit like that.
I'm not really sure what you're expecting me to say here, and honestly, this feels like you're just coming into my inbox for the sake of saying you think my approach to dealing with keyboard warriors on the internet is wrong.
Apparently this will come as a surprise to you, anon, but I do tend to err on the side of "when they go low, we go high"—or to bring it back a bit further in time..."treat others how you want to be treated."
If you're uncomfortable with the idea that I don't think you should fight fire with fire...That's something for you to contend with, not me.
To be exceptionally clear (and honestly, I thought I covered this well enough by saying "in my opinion" but apparently I didn't), I did say that I don't think folks should accept abuse from others on the internet. I don't think that it's healthy for anyone to just sit back and accept harassment that's been directed at them.
If you'd read to the end of the post, you might have noticed that I said I've blocked people who have behaved in similar sorts of ways with me, so I'm not really sure where you're getting the idea that I told that anon that they should ""just deal with it"" or that I implied that liking HP is some sort of determinant of their moral fiber.
What I did say was that I could understand people seeing tags for a series that they find offensive brought into their reblogs. I don't think that's an exceptionally novel thing to say, but for some reason, you seem to have taken my response to that anon—which I prefaced by saying that I haven't dealt with precisely the same thing, so I couldn't offer much practical advice—as me telling them to lay down and accept bullying.
That's not what I said, and I think anything more than a cursory read of what I wrote would make that pretty clear.
If you'd like to engage in a mature discussion about the conflicting opinions I have about being in the HP fandom and knowing what JKR has done and continues to do to contribute to the harassment of marginalized individuals, that's a different conversation—and one I'd be happy to have.
If you're just going to come into my inbox to say "empathy is a bad thing!" and deliberately misread what I've written...Feel free to steer clear of my blog.
#checking the post#you asked andie answered#personally i think it's a bit unfair that we assume that operating our silly little fandom blogs is a net neutral or net positive thing#like maybe for me it is?#but i'd like to think i'm aware of the folks around me enough to recognize that HP has troubling themes (to say the least)#and that JKR has caused tangible harm to trans folks in the UK#and I don't think saying “have you considered that the real harm she/HP have caused could be hurtful to people” is really that hot of a tak#that's just asking someone to look outside of their own personal bubble#for long enough to recognize that EVERYONE deserves the right to create a space for themselves#and that some of those people inevitably are not going to like what you do#and that some of THOSE people aren't going to be mature/polite about the way they express that opinion#e.g. i'm in classes every day with people who actively threaten my and my friends' wellbeing because of the work they do#does that make me comfortable? no#but am i going to start sending hate mail to my classmates? also no#so i'm not actually saying 'oh this behavior is good we should let people bully others'#but also#this is my blog so i shared my opinion on how i would handle something#my instinct is to try and understand where the feelings are coming from—it doesn't have to be everyone's#i'd like to think that i use the block/filtering tools judiciously but i know there are folks who use them more often than i do#and that's their choice! well within their right!#but also (again)#what exactly did you expect me to recommend?#i already said that i block folks!#if you're upset that i said that *i* can understand why people might be upset before i choose to block people...idk what to tell you
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8bit-mau5 · 1 year
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raizol are you only capable of making people afraid? are positive emotions not a thing? can you be precise or envoke a certain level of fear or is it kind of out of hand? also -- how do you use it? is it focus? what does it feel like to you to induce this fear?
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"Ahaha yeah, afraid it's all fear and the emotions that normally accompany it, you know. I'm no full-on empath so I can't invoke anything positive. Imagine being plunged into your deepest darkest fears. The dread follows, doesn't it? Sometimes it's hopelessness for others, or anxiety.
I think I would hate what I'm capable of a little less if I could be precise with it. At least then I'd be affecting one person instead of a fucking crowd within a certain area.
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For me it feels like.. guilt, or anger, I guess it depends what the context of me using them is. I haven't set them off in sweeps. If I'm not careful though, I can affect myself with them too. Now that fucking sucks."
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shadowsandkingdom · 9 months
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Damn i knew giratinas were ugly mfs but you take the cake. Which one of you is the one thats missing an eye
...
Thats... thats enough internet, for today.
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eggsnatcheskneecaps · 7 months
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#no because my parents have always been so weird to me from a medical standpoint#or abusive? neglectful. I don't know what i could possibly call this but#my Nystagmus. barely doing any research WHEN THEY ARE DOCTORS it's not like they don't know how to look stuff up#barely giving me any information on it. which crashed badly a few years ago when the dude at one of those glasses shops got scared by not#being able to give me full vision which promoted my parents into bullying me about possibly going blind and trying to twist it into being#my phone's usage fault. when low and behold! we go to an actual doctor. my vision didn't increase or decrease much and she says that#Nystagmus cannot be 20/20 THEN MY MOM STILL TRIES TO PROVE IT'S THE PHONE'S FAULT#also how they treated my Lyme Disease when i was little but I'm not. talking about that publicly.#and the fact that they were completely obsessed with the idea that I'd have a speech impediment back in the day#which was probably caused by the fact my sibling was Learns Very Early How To Talk And Does It Really Well flavour of autistic and I was#Barely Talks Very Late And Badly flavour of autistic#which meant they would force speech classes down my throat and when the teachers would go 'Nothing actually wrong with this kid' they'd#send me somewhere else#also the constant 'If you don't learn to talk correctly everybody will think you're stupid and they won't talk to you' which ok. ableist.#anyway the 'speech impediment' was your average 4 y o cannot pronounce r which i got over and they were still turning my life into hell#over it years down the line which meant i was in middle school convinced i had a speech impediment which at that point#WOULD HAVE BEEN A HEALTH ISSUE BUT WE DON'T TALK ABOUT THAT DO WE MOM/DAD#and i realised I don't only because my best friend went 'girl tf no you don't'#that is without to mention my father tried to ask me if i wanted surgery for my (inexistent) speech problem because he heard it fixed#someone else's kid problem#also in middle school i had some blood tests and they supposedly came back saying I'm anemic + i had strep but they didn't do anything#about that and at most blamed my anemia on my period which. i should probably get myself some bloodtests as an adult lol#then there is the one time they forced me to go to school with a mcfucking fever lol lmao#oh and also i would try to talk to them about these weird head tremors/seizures i have and they once again tried to blame it on my phone#only for my mom to see me having one recently and go 'oh yea lol i have them too it's normal' yes thank you /s#and they generally don't listen to me trying to sound the alarm about possible health issues i have unless my brother points them out...#aaaaand there is the entire shitshow they did to me when i was diagnosed with depression and put on pills#at least they are currently nicer about me saying i have autism but they didn't take me seriously at first neither...#egg.txt#vent
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prophet-problems · 8 months
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for gods sake why do i keep getting asks that aren't showing up?????
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lockandkeyhyena · 1 year
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why are you "obsessed with your cinders art" if it looks like shit... probably the worst wc art ive ever seen. looks like a fucking circle. get off tumblr and practice your art and come back when youre actually good lmao
come on please put some work into your hate anons man. this is just sad.
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singsweetmelodies · 1 year
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I do not mean to rush you AT ALL
BUT
IM DYIIIIIIIINNNNNGGGGGGGG for the continuation (is that an English word???) of the fake dating au
I’ll have you know that I WILL contact authorities!!! (mostly to contain myself to be honest)
AHHHHHHHHHHHHH anon consider this my official love declaration, kskdjdndbdjd, this made me laugh so much 🤣🤣❤️❤️��️❤️ i genuinely adore you for this omfg. YOU ARE THE SWEETEST and your excitement is making me excited now tooooo <3333
also. before you do call 999 - i actually do have a bit of good news for you re: the next chapter 😘 thanks to my bestie @redyellowstupid's lovingly aggressive intervention ("YOU CANNOT LEAVE THE POOR PEOPLE WAITING UNTIL 2023 FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER KATIE WTF") we will most likely be having the next chapter tonight. the good old "sunday at approx. 11pm UK time" except this time it'll have to be "sunday at approx. 11pm South African time" because that's where i currently am lmao.
anyways yes, the point is: chapter 6 will be out tonight, hopefully. almost certainly in fact. i just need to tidy up the worst of my 2am-typos (and have a quiet lament that i STILL haven't reached the plot point i planned this whole chapter around akhshdgdjsgdhdgdg) but then approx. 7k of competitive idiots piarles will be all yours ❤️
and again for good measure: I LOVE YOU ANON ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️😘😘😘
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doctordonovan · 11 months
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My muse died a long time ago, and while looking through my muse's belongings your muse finds a note with their name written on it. Send "✉" for what it says.
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Raymond - 
I'm sure by the time you're back,  everything will be resolved and I'll have long since disposed of something so very superfluous as this letter.  Still, experience seems to lecture against being too positive when it comes to how disasters find their way to us.
I'm sorry I didn't tell you everything that was going on. Please, trust me that it was never about not trusting you or wanting you involved. I've never wanted to tell you something more than I've wanted to these past months - I think I've lost count of the number of times I came so close to saying it, to just blurting it out ( and, as you know, I can count pretty well ). But you already have the weight of the universe on your shoulders and I've never wanted to be a burden on top of that: this is my mess, and as much as I know you wouldn't want me to carry it alone. I can't compare to universes that need saving nor would I ever ask to. 
Still. If you've found this letter, it means things stayed bad enough that I needed to remove myself for much longer than planned, and that means I'll be trying to be much harder to find.
If you need to I'm sure you'll find me  -   you always have before,  have you not?  I've left my hummingbird necklace here as a promise I'll be back as soon as I can be. 
All of my love, Maeve.
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chemos-factories · 1 year
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btw not sure if it’s obvious but not only are primarch/primarch, astartes/astartes, and primarch/astartes ships allowed here, they are ENCOURAGED. Not required! But encouraged
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squidcourse · 1 year
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i'm kinda curious as to why people are siding with the mods! like... is there something we're missing? i'm not in the server, so maybe there's a Side that most of us don't know about - but like. from the perspective of what you said, with people roleplaying as an actual person to mock them, that's not okay - so what am i missing here that people think that that IS okay? can someone enlighten everyone nicely?
No clue. Everything about this situation has been unbelievably petty.
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mx-paint · 7 months
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Deleted the post earlier bc I thought I was being stupid, but after seeing this shit for the fifth time in a half hour, I have to say that I really wish I lived in the supposed universe that the "anti-woke" people claim to live in by saying they can't have freedom of speech anymore because they can't be racist or homophobic or transphobic anymore or else they'll "be cancelled"
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john green quit tumblr because of the cock monologue
No, he didn’t.
This all happened a long time ago, and my memory is imperfect, but here’s my memory: The cock monologue certainly hurt my feelings! But when people are trying to force someone out of a virtual space, they sometimes resort to behavior that is similar to bullying except it’s not completely identical to bullying because the person they’re making fun of has a lot of power. (As someone who got bullied a lot in school, the feeling was similar in 2014 but it wasn’t identical--because I was aware of the fact that I was okay, that what was in danger was certain aspects of my identity/self-value that I treasured but not my entire personhood itself.)
Anyway, it hurt my feelings, and still hurts my feelings when I see it shared (it feels to me like a joke about my sexuality, although I understand other people don’t see it that way; but yeah, you don’t know much about my sexuality and I don’t really want you to but it feels like a joke about that to me, which just bums me out). 
But all of that stuff is a side effect of my job and having been successful at it, and I like my job. It is a great job. All jobs have aspects that suck. My job has fewer such aspects than other jobs I’ve had.
So yeah, I did not quit tumblr because of the cock monologue. (I also did not ask tumblr to make reblogs un-editable.) .
I quit tumblr because a few people started to make extremely specific threats. One might, for instance, send me an ask that featured a google streetview screenshot of my home alongside a plan for breaking into it.
I was super scared of these people (or possible person pretending to be a few people?) because they seemed to have a lot of knowledge about me and my family. We lived in a normal middle-class neighborhood in Indianapolis and I felt very exposed and nervous all the time in my real life, and eventually the freaked-out feeling just got too big and that’s why I quit tumblr.
(Edited to add: I am aware that prominent people sometimes use death threats against them to portray themselves as victims and protect themselves against justified criticism for their bigotry or abusive behavior or whatever. I don’t want to do that; it’s important to note that I have a lot of resources and power and so was able to, for instance, move to decrease the threat, which a lot of people can’t do. But I also feel like not talking about the experience honestly has not really helped me or anyone.)
I SHOULD’VE quit tumblr much earlier--I needed to realize that people weren’t comfortable with me in their virtual spaces and that to them I came across as cringey or even creepy, but at the time, I wasn’t nearly self-aware enough to leave for any of those reasons, and plus there was a lot of pressure from movie studios etc to stay on the social Internet so I could continue to promote my books and the stuff around them. So I didn’t quit when I should’ve, and as a result had and caused quite a few negative experiences for people. I’m sorry about the role I had in causing those negative experiences. I should’ve had a better understanding of not just how I experienced myself but also how other people might experience me. That’s something i’ve worked on over the years but still come up short on sometimes.
At any rate, I might delete this later because it makes me feel a bit like all my nerves are exposed to the air but I did just want to clarify that the, like, Tumblr Legend of this whole thing is at minimum a bit over simplified. 
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