#and can i even get into a relationship like i am eighteen and i have been single my entire life

[wc-confessions]

I want to preface this confession by saying very big age gaps are a major squick for me in shipping, but I *still* think the Warriors fandom can be a bit. Weird about them?

Like. I see so many things of ppl being like "UGH, [insert ship] is SO problematic bcus it has an ENORMOUS age gap and [older cat in relationship] is a TOTAL CREEP even if they pursued [younger cat in relationship] as an adult!!!"

And then I'm like "Wow rly? Sounds terrible! Just how big is this age gap?"

So I look it up. And then it's like. Twelve moons.

You folks realize that's... twelve *moons*, not years, right? This is a one year age gap, not twelve. A one year age gap is *nothing*

One could argue that it is a big age gap, or should be considered one (bcus the canon series doesn't care about age gaps at all lol) by the standards of Warriors society, bcus the commonly accepted average age of becoming a warrior is 12 moons, meaning that the younger cat would be born by the time the older cat would be considered an adult

Which, yeah, does sound a bit weird when you put it into that light. But if that's enough to consider the ship "problematic," you have an extremely limited pool of "good" ships, so limited to the point where it rly wouldn't make sense for the long run of the series

You're telling me that cats' only eligible partners are ones who are born within, like, less than six moons of them, if they wanna consistently stay in the same life stage? What are the odds of a good match happening within that pool? What if the uncommon situation of a cat being the only one in that age range occurs (ex: Birchpaw (Birchfall) in The New Prophecy), are they just supposed to never get a mate no matter how badly they may want to (if they don't want a mate, awesome, and a convenient coincidence, but if they do)? What if all the cats in that range just so happen to be somehow related?

The warrior cats, despite how anthropormorphized they are, still aren't humans, and mature at a different rate than humans, so one being an adult at the same time as one being a young child and then pursuing each other later in life, a year between them (WHEN THEY'RE BOTH CONSENTING ADULTS!!!), has a way different connotation than it does for humans, who would have to have an age gap of over eighteen years (in the US for me, age of consent may be different elsewhere) in order for that to be the case

I get being grossed out by age gaps, I am too, but I genuinely don't feel like an age gap of one year or so is anything to freak out over the way so many ppl do. If that's your limit then there's hardly a ship that's not "creepy" in terms of age gaps. If you're fine with that, whatever, but you might be surprised by what ships you may like that have an age gap of that size

For me, personally, an age gap bigger than roughly three years is when I start feeling squicked (in Warriors shipping specifically), but it varies from ship to ship, and ymmv of course (and of course this only applies if they pursued each other when they were both adults)

But point being I think the Warriors fandom should rethink what's considered a "big" age gap bcus no small amount of the ones I see accused of being that aren't that at all, not by my personal standards at least

.

#text #anonymous #confession #warrior cats

[olderthannetfic]

I thought it would be interesting to see if I could easily determine which ships had the most works updated in 2023.

It turned out to be fairly easy, though a little time consuming. I think these results should be reasonably accurate.

Some points to note:

I did this on my own account, and I have like 2 people muted. So I am capturing the effects of archive-locked works, but my numbers might be off by one or two works due to muting.

Works updated in 2023 is a number that constantly changes as works are deleted or updated again in 2024.

I didn't scrape the entire archive or anything like that, so it's possible I missed a ship that would bump one of these down below 100. I'd take the last few at the bottom there with a grain of salt. But I think we can be reasonably sure the top ones are accurate and that the kinds of numbers that we see at the bottom there (eighteen hundred plus works updated in 2023) are about where the cutoff will be even if we find a ship I missed.

--

As for how I did this, I went to the category tags and the rating tags, filtered for updating in 2023, then excluded ships in the sidebar till I got to 130-150 ships excluded. I also grabbed ships that are big in general from tag search, which you can use to find all relationship canonicals, ordered by frequency.

I combined those lists of ships, cleaned off the works numbers, and generated a list without duplicates. That got me three hundred and something (yes, they were mostly duplicates). I generated the relevant AO3 URLs, opened them in batches with Open Multiple URLs, and copied the works totals into a spreadsheet. Not as tidy as using a script but honestly pretty easy if you know a few spreadsheet formulas to clean up data.

The key here is that if you're only going for pretty good and not accurate beyond a shadow of a doubt, all you need to do is generate a list of likely ships, then check them.

It's possible that there's some much-updated ship that is so evenly spread across these various other tags that it just missed showing up in the sidebar. Hopefully, grabbing more than just the top 100 avoided this problem.

This method also doesn't take into account backdated works. If a whole archive was imported in 2023 but all backdated, there could be some ship that didn't have new works but where AO3 users experience in 2023 was of an influx of content.

I also did this just now, in late March/early April, so some 2023 works have inevitably been deleted or updated again. So the exact work counts don't represent the experience of using AO3 throughout 2023. A fandom active in early 2023 might not have much updating in early 2024, while a fandom active in late 2023 would. This could demote the latter a few places in the rankings since I didn't grab numbers on January 1st.

Even if a person scraped AO3 every day or was monkeying around in the databases, you also have to ask what conceptual answer you're after. Is it works a user could have read at some point during 2023, whether they were deleted by the year's end or not? Is it new-to-AO3 works or only newly-created ones, not including imported archives? Does it matter if the works are fic? If they're in English? What about accidental double-uploads or translations of a single work?

I hope this makes it clear why a definitive ranking is not actually possible.

However, despite these drawbacks, I am confident that the rankings above accurately represent the broad trends on AO3 in 2023. Just don't get too fixated on whether a ship should be at number 73 or number 74.

And, of course, I excluded these from the top 100:

Original Character(s)/Original Character(s) - 20,026

Minor or Background Relationship(s) - 16,187

No Romantic Relationship(s) - 8,052

Original Female Character(s)/Original Male Character(s) - 7,195

Original Male Character/Original Male Character - 6,283

Other Relationship Tags to Be Added - 5,618

Original Female Character(s)/Original Female Character(s) - 3,990

Original Character(s) & Original Character(s) - 3,210

Here's a spreadsheet if you want to see the actual numbers not as a shitty screencap. I left the next few below 100 for context.

[rinbowaman]

the older sister SECRETLY !!! So sunghoon has 2 sisters and heeseung is dating the younger sister , but the more he hangs out with sunghoon and sees the older sister , the more they fall in love with each other . And that’s where the cheating starts ! IF THIS DOESN’T MAKE SENSE I CAN TEXT U PRIVATELY . If u do this for me I consider u as my sister 🥹😚💗

“I like her, but I love you…”

Warnings: College boy Heeseung cheating in secret, older fem. lead, smut....rough smut....kind of animalistic, craving, like 'oh-my, oh-my God! this c*ck's pumping crazy' smut. unprotected smut. 9k word count, so get your popcorn out.

Bday gift for @hoyeonheeseung

PS: H/N stands for “her name”. Left her name blank.

Thank you for taking the time and reading my stories and drabbles. To show your support, please consider donating into my ko-fi account ♥️

“Hey man, how are things going with you and h/n?”

“Good, she’s my little troublemaker.” Referring to his girlfriend and the younger sister of his best friend, Sunghoon, Heeseung chuckles as he dwells into the little tidbits concerning his established relationship.

“Yeah she can be a handful. But don't forget, she’s only eighteen, it’s not like she’s our age.” Sunghoon responds in jest, chuckling as he winks over to his friend.

“Yeah, I know. I keep that in mind all the time, which is probably why I let her get away with a lot, and am more patient with her than I should be.”

Nodding his head, Sunghoon pats Heeseung’s shoulder as the two walk over to their parked cars.

“So I was going to ask you, are you planning on coming by tomorrow?” Sunghoon asks. Raising a brow over from across his vehicle, Heeseung answers loosely. “Yeah, h/n says she wanted me to meet some of her friends from school, and they were all going to be over at your place. You guys having a party or something?” Tossing his books into the front passenger seat, Heeseung turns back towards Sunghoon.

“Yeah I figured she had already asked you to come by, her friends are all going to be at the house because, well, our eldest sister moved back to the area after accepting a new job. Guess she wanted to be closer to the family, so my parents are throwing a homecoming party for her.”

“That right?” Twirling his tongue, Heeseung had known Sunghoon since they started college, nearly four years ago. Being on their last year together, Heeseung furrowed his brow, slightly surprised. “I didn’t even know you guys had an older sister.”

“Oh yeah man, I probably forgot to mention her because she’s been living abroad. She left the year I started attending college, right before I met you. She normally calls in and emails us, but hasn’t visited because her job is so demanding. But she says this new job is going to give her a lot more free hour.”

“Huh, I was wondering why H/N mentioned that all of her friends would be over. Makes sense now. But yeah man, I’ll be there. I’ll probably take H/N to the movies or something after the festivities are done with.”

“Cool man. See you tomorrow then.”

“Yup, see ya.”

………………………

You woke up early the next morning to the soft light of the spring sun peeking through the bedroom window. Laid out on the side table was a list of residential neighborhoods and apartments nearby, some circled in black ink. You had moved in with your parents and siblings, only just for a period until you could establish your own place. For now, you took the opportunity to enjoy lost time with them. Getting dressed, you chose a simple yet elegant floral dress, that fitted your form nicely. The hem of the skirt tastefully flows inches above your kneecaps, while the tie straps gently rest on top your shoulders. Walking down the stairs, you meet with your mother inside the kitchen.

“Oh, hi mom.”

“Good morning y/n! Did you want some coffee?”

“Yes, thank you.”

Pouring you a cup, your mother sits down and enjoys the one-on-one moment with you, while you both sipped on your favorite latte’s. Turning your gaze over to the window, you spot your mother’s garden in full bloom. While you were away, she had planted your favorite flowers to remind herself of you during your absence.

“Oh mom, I really like what you did with your garden.”

“Thank you, baby.”

Chuckling, you giggle out your words as you playfully bite your lip, a small habit you’ve had for as long as you could remember. “You planted my favorite flowers?”

“Of course! I had to have something to remind me of you while you were gone for so long.” The tone of her words reflected her happiness in having you back home. Reaching across the table, you take her hand and reassured her that you wouldn’t be away from here on out.

“I promise, I'm here to stay mama.”

“I know. But you don’t have to rush, you can stay here with me, your dad, your brother and sister.”

Looking down at your cup, you gently sip while you speak. “I’ll stay for a bit, but you don't have to worry Mama. When I move out. I’ll limit myself to a 10-mile radius so I can be close to home. I promise.” Winking, you watch as your mother smiles sincerely at your resolve. You felt guilty for being away for so long, not to mention your career limited you from gaining the opportunity to travel and visit home. Now, things would be different. Sure, you had to take on a position that was slightly less pay than what you were making before, and you had a wonderful team that you left behind, but that all didn’t matter anymore. You had set your priorities firmly to put family first, and everything else following second. With your brother finishing up college, and your sister beginning her first year at the same university in the following months, you knew that your parents would have been too lonely, so you made your decision and submitted your two weeks’ notice to your boss three months ago, and had been enjoying the time missed ever since.  

“Oh, how did you sleep last night? I tried to get H/N to give you back your old room for just a few nights, but you know your sister…”

Chuckling, you bit your lip again as you playfully shook your mother’s hand. “It’s okay. The guest room was nice and quiet. Plus, I’ve always liked it up there.” After you had moved out, your sister took over your old room, which happened to be the second largest bedroom in the house, with your parent’s master suite being the biggest. The bedrooms all shared the same hall, but the guest bedroom was nestled away up on the third floor, originally as the attic.  However, your parents designed it to be formatted as a guest room for family visits and had kept it as such ever since.

**** photo of bedroom

When finding out that you were moving back home, your mother went through great lengths to fix up the guest space after H/N had initially begged, then later refused, to give back your old room. Yet you didn’t mind, the guest room was laid out with gaudy floral wallpaper but was actually, quite cozy, and nicely tucked away from the remaining bedrooms, which all were located on the first level. The second floor had a nice family room, along with a guest bath, additional office spaces that your father used as his private study, and a small sitting room. The way things were set, you felt like the little princess you always used to dream yourself as, locked away in your tower with all of your favorite books and a great view of your mother’s garden.

“Sis!”

 You turn your head over to the sliding door near the dining room and watch as H/N runs over and sits next to you. “Can I borrow that one dress you have? The red sexy one! Pleeeeease!” Bouncing in her seat, your sister eagerly begs as she taps her artistically extreme manicured nails on the table. Adorned in clusters of jewels and painted in neon colors, you took a moment to notice how lengthy the exaggerated pointed acrylics were.

“Yeah, sure.”

“EEEEEEEEEK! YAAAY! Thank you Y/n!” Hugging your neck and placing a quick peck on your cheek, h/n runs up the stairs, causing quite the clamor on her way up. You chuckled and smirked as you heard her run up, scurrying through your closet and dressers for that simple red dress you wore for work. It was a formal piece, one that you wore under a blazer whenever you went into the office, and it was a bit too sophisticated for a homecoming party, but you already knew that once your sister had her mind set on something, there was no changing it.

The visitors started to show up, collecting out in the backyard where all the decorations and food was nicely laid out. Your mother and her friends had displayed a massive spread of assorted dishes on a long picnic table. Sunghoon assisted with placing the decorations up, while H/N mingled with her friends. You were taking one last glance over the residential properties on the rental ad before placing it back down on your side table. You head down towards the kitchen, however, upon arriving on the second floor, you run into H/N and her group of friends as they walk up to catch you in the guest room. “Oh! Sis! Perfect timing!” H/N runs over to your side and links her arm with yours. “Guys, this is my sister y/n.”

“Wow….you’re so pretty.”

“Your hair is so long and shiny!”

“Gosh why is it that older girls are always the prettiest?”

“Its probably because they learn from each other’s makeup and hair styles in college.”

One by one, h/n’s friends all admire you while talking aloud, taking a moment to feel your hair, stare at your dress, and ask about your makeup tips. They displayed a look of shock when you exposed that you were wearing minimal products, keeping it simple with blush, lipstick, and some eyeshadow. You were always one to avoid heavy makeup, opting to keep things real and simplistic.

“Thats it?! That’s all you’re wearing? How are you so pretty with so little makeup?”

“I can’t wait to be older so I can be just as cool and sexy as you. I like that womanly confidence, my own older sister has that same vibe.”

Chuckling, you playfully side eye H/N as she proudly presents you to her posse. “See? I told you! My older sister is the prettiest!”

Skipping as she drags you along, H/N finally lets you go when you all reach the kitchen. “Sis, you coming out?” H/N screeches out. She was always so flamboyant and quite loud, more than likely due to the excitement she had in showing you off. “Come out so we can show you some of our cheers that we’ve been practicing!”

“Oh alright, gimme a second. I’m just going to grab some water and I’ll be right out.”

“Okay! Hurry up!” She shouts out and leaves. You had nearly forgotten that H/N was continuing her cheerleading curriculum, even in college, and planned on entering the cheer competitions. Pouring yourself a glass of water, you quietly gaze through the window and watch as the number of guests grew larger. Minutes past, and more people enter through the gate in the yard. A sudden scream of excitement is heard from afar outside, and you knew it was H/N and her friends. Shaking your head while you smirked, you sipped on your drink as you checked your phone on some work-related matters, before placing it down on the kitchen island and prepared yourself to walk out and greet the guests.

…….

“Oh my God Heeseung!!! You’re here!”

Running towards him, H/N jumps up as Heeseung catches her in his arms. Gripping onto his hair and overbearing him with kisses, Heeseung winces his eyes shut and gives it a moment before finally speaking out. “Okay, okay. I get it, I missed you too.” He chuckles as he lets her down.

“Come meet my friends! They’ve all been dying to meet you and oh my Gosh! Can we go to the mall later? I want to show you off to all my friends that are working at the stores today!” Jumping up and down, completely hyperactive as she holds onto his hand, H/N eagerly waits for Heeseung to answer. He couldn’t lie to himself, as much as he cared for her, her hyperactive personality could overwhelm him sometimes, much like her friends. It was nothing out of the ordinary, however, for him it wasn’t something he was quite used to, given that all of his other girlfriends were his age and in college. This was the first time he decided to dip into someone as young as H/N. At times, he felt he needed to break away whenever she had her moments where that teen spunk was over the top.

“We’ll see.” He answers.

“But whyyyyyyyyyyyyyy? Please please please!” pulling on his arm, H/n expresses her pleas in a shrill and loud voice as she displays a puppy-eyed countenance, pouting her lip to exaggerate her desperation.

“Let’s just see how the day goes, h/n. Besides, after the day is done, I was planning on taking you to the movies.”

“Oh! The movies!!!” She jumps up with excitement while her mother gently shushes from the side. “H/n, shhh, quiet.” your mother whispers over secretly to H/N. “You’re making a scene.”

Huffing out, H/N shrugs off her mother’s warning before resuming her gaze back to Heeseung. “Can my friends come?” She asks excitingly.

“You don’t want to go together? Just the two of us?” He calmly winks over. “Oh my God!! Heeseung!!” She shouts out and giggles, stirring a commotion among the guests, which had caused Heeseung to immediately grow wide eyed and shoot a hand over her mouth, all out of sudden instinctive reaction.

Heeseung eventually met up with Sunghoon, and the two standoff at a distance enjoying a beer while H/N and her friends all swoon over the newest kpop group stepping into the scene of popularity. “Oh my God he’s hot as fuck!” H/n can be heard admiring aloud, once again earning a quick tap on her arm from your mom, gesturing her to be more polite and quiet. Never minding that Heeseung could hear, in h/n’s mind, it was okay for her to openly swoon so long as it wasn’t with someone that was realistically achievable, plus, she was a young girl with a lot of emotions and hormones that caused her to be overly expressive, as well as experiencing a change of heart nearly every day. One moment she was into one particular thing, the next she was into something entirely different. Zoning off as he watches the girls indulge into their typical gossip, Heeseung takes another sip out of his beverage before engaging in conversation with Sunghoon.

“So, how is your other sister holding up being back home?”

“She’s loving it. Which….where is she? She should be out here since this is her party.” Sunghoon looks around, yet the lack of your sighting caused him to reach out to your guy's mom for confirmation. “Mom, where is y/n?”

“Oh well she should be– oh! There she is.” Catching the sight of you walking out through the back sliding door, your mother’s sentence is cut short with the pleasant note of your appearance. “Y/N, over here!” she calmly shouts out your way, waving for you to come to her direction.

Walking calmly, you nod and say hello to everyone you walk past, flaring a sweet and soft smile as you greet them before reaching your mother.

“Oh hey, Y/N! Let me introduce you real quick before mom steals you away, this is my good friend, Heeseung. He and I had been friends since our first year together. He’s also h/n’s boyfriend.”

Surprised, you pleasantly smiled towards the young man and extended your hand to shake and greet him. You heard all about H/N’s boyfriend, especially since the latter couldn’t contain her excitement and talked of nothing else since the moment they started dating, sending you at least a handful of emails a day talking about him. It was just surprising since she never revealed him to be an older college male, nor did she mention that he was good friends with Sunghoon.

“Nice to meet you, I’ve heard alot about you from h/n. She’s really taken with you.” flashing a charming smile, you delicately shift the pieces of your hair framing your face and tuck it behind your ear as the gentle breeze blows through it. Unlike H/N, you opted to leave your hair un-styled, letting it fall freely in its natural state, which enhanced your features and placed you above all the girls Heeseung has ever laid eyes on, to include the girls at his college, and H/N.

“Yeah…nice to meet you.” Stunned by your natural and yet sophisticated sense of manners, your appeal had struck Heeseung out of his right-minded state and he found himself at a loss for words. Leaving his response short and simple, you nod and make your way over to your mother. Sunghoon went on about one thing or another, yet Heeseung paid no mind, he tried to keep it from being obvious, but it was hard. Fortunately no one really noticed. Keeping his face towards his best friend, his eyes kept shifting over your way, glancing periodically as he did his best to get an eye full of your image before reengaging with Sunghoon.

………………..

“So yeah, we were doing this in class the other day when….”

“Mmhmm…..”

“And then the dude literally started to get into this argument with my professor….”

“Oh yeah? …..”

“Right in front of the entire class.”

“Crazy man.”

Noting Heeseung’s spurt responses, Sunghoon pauses in his storytelling. “Heeseung, you good man?”

“Hm?...Oh yeah, no I'm good. You were saying? The guy argued with your professor and what now?”

“Oh. For a second I didn’t think you were listening.” Chuckling as he sips on his beer, Sunghoon continues, not catching on to Heeseung’s habitual habit of roaming his gaze over where you stood. Admiring the calm, mature, and graceful woman that you are, he was becoming smitten with you.

 It was strange, he thought that he’d seen every type of woman there was to see. The college girls at his university, or H/n and her friends, all of whom shared similarities, but carried minor differences in their character. Yet despite all that, they were nothing compared to the level of true feminine beauty that you held. All in all, when it came to the girls his age, they were all somewhat stuck up and believed that they had their lives completely figured out, but lacked the will to prioritize their days appropriately and spent more nights partying and sleeping around campus. Then there were girls like h/n, younger, filled with life but had no clue as to how to deal with it. Often living rather childishly and carrying no balance when it came to expressing themselves or developing their feminine nature. They didn’t have life figured out and it showed, and most times, they flared off exactly what they were, a bunch of teenage girls, nothing more.

Then there was you, a young woman in her prime that had already surpassed the stages of her teen years, and survived her college days, albeit you handled it gracefully since Sunghoon had already mentioned that you spent your entire time in college taking online courses, so you could stay home and help out your family. You ignored the typical college life of rotting away in a classroom, dealing with the pressures of your peers, and the late-night partying. Instead, you worked your way through during the day, diligently on your home computer, and then carried on your free time to assist with family matters. If that wasn’t already virtuous enough, you graduated with an excellent standing in your class and obtained a respectable career. You were nothing like the women and girls he’s been exposed to. The way you carried yourself confidently, gracefully, so smooth, elegant, and your pretty appeal had a sense of smoldering essence, which he found devastatingly sexy. What type of woman were you and where had you been all this time?

Throughout the entire event, Heeseung remained out of character and rather on the quiet side, which he claimed was all due to tiredness from late night studying, or so he lied when telling Sunghoon and h/n. By the end of the event, he lies once more and tells H/N that he had too much to drink to drive out to the movies or the mall, and opted to stay back with Sunghoon until the alcohol wears off before safely driving back home. H/N didn’t seem to be too upset about the ordeal, considering one of her friends had a license and a car of her own. Bidding Heeseung goodbye with a quick peck on the lips, h/n departs with her posse while Heeseung and Sunghoon assist with the cleanup.

“I’ll take this inside for you.” Taking the load of stacked plates, Heeseung effortlessly carries them away and heads towards the kitchen. “Oh thank you Heeseung.” Your mom gently responds back with.

Sunghoon helps out your dad with taking down the festive decorations and lighting, white your mother picks up the remaining trash. Placing the dishes in the sink, Heeseung turns on the faucet to lukewarm and begins filling it with warm soapy water. You walk in, inadvertently sneaking up behind, which was the most pleasant surprise for him, unbeknownst to you.

“Oh hey, you don’t have to do that, I can take care of those.” You gently speak out as you walk up to the sink. He turns his head and sees you enter the kitchen, gasping out of bewilderment. God, you were a sight for sore eyes. Where did you come from? Surely not the same way h/n and Sunghoon came into this world, you were far too ethereal in his eyes.

“Oh, it’s fine. I don't mind helping out, I do it often actually.” Knowing his way around the kitchen, he takes a sponge and starts to wash each dish. You stood next to him and grabbed a spare sponge and helped out. He was awfully tall, and despite being quiet, he seemed very nice, you could see why your family liked him. H/n had often talked about Heeseung spending a great deal of time over at your parents house, spending days after classes hanging out with her and Sunghoon,. With as much time he spent over, he was practically part of the family, it's no wonder he knew where everything in the kitchen was.

“Are you excited to be in your last year of college?” You asked calmly, making conversation as you scrubbed, and he rinsed. Displaying a wide and overly happy grin, he chuckles bashfully as he bites his lower lip. “Yeah, I am. I bet you were pretty happy when you finished.”

“Yeah, I was.” you nodded with a smile and a small giggle. “But I can’t lie, I do miss the days where all I had to focus on was being a diligent daughter and student. Being on your own and facing the world head on can be scary sometimes.” you softly state as you glanced over to him with a tender smile.

“Oh God don’t do that….don’t look at me with those beautiful shiny eyes…and that gorgeous smile of yours…..you’re making me melt…..and you don’t even know it.” 

Mentally noting the greatness of your appeal, Heeseung gently shrugged off the image of your face in order to avoid staring.

Spending the next thirty minutes washing the plates had to be the greatest highlight of his life. His heart felt as if it was going to explode, you were a bewilderment to him and he couldn’t get enough of the way you smiled, sound, and laughed. Your large dark eyes, that shiny black hair, and that damn olive complexion. God had spent extra time on you, perfecting his craft as he created the greatest gift to earth, you.

Over the timespan of weeks, Heeseung spent a great deal over at your parents’ home, which didn’t seem at all odd considering he was already coming over well before you had moved back home. Using Sunghoon and even H/n as an excuse for his visit, he relished the moments you came down to grace everyone with your presence. It was actually quite impressive how no one sensed or caught on in seeing how enamored he was with you. All those moments when he and h/n were watching Nextflix in the living room, snuggling in the corner end of the sectional couch with Sunghoon on the opposite end. You’d walk past through the hallway and enter the wide, open floor concept and head towards the kitchen when Sunghoon would gently invite you to join them.

…….

“Sis, what’re you doing? Have you watched this show? Come sit and watch it with us, it’s getting good.”

…….

Whenever you accepted the invite, and took a seat on the large couch, Heeseung took advantage of the lack of lighting, with only the TV being the source, and used it to hide the fact that he would stare and admire you during the entire show. With you facing the TV and paying attention to the plot, as did everyone else, no one ever could suspect that Heeseung was falling for you, hard. That obsessive and uncontrollable stare was something that only he knew about, and it made him yearn for you more as each day passed.

……………………

“Hey Heeseung, the company y/n works for is hosting a weeklong internship program. I know we don't have any plans to work for that corporation, but figured, why not take a week-long break away from campus and classes. You in?”

“Her company is hosting an internship for a week?”

“Yeah man. I asked her about it and even asked if she can pull some ropes and become our aid, show us around, pretty much just hang out. We can take that time to chill out.”

“Yeah, I’d like that. I’m in.”

He was in, alright, but for entirely different reasons. He could care less about taking a rest period away from campus and classes, he would spend his days in a grueling classroom for hours, wasting away, if it meant that he’d be with you.

It didn’t take much to get Heeseung and Sunghoon accepted, you pretty much had established a decent reputation within your company, so taking on the tasks of showing the two internees around, out and about, was something that was accepted without any hesitation. The first day, the two men showed up wearing proper attire of business-casual suits; you walked past the security after exiting the elevator, flaring your VIP pass. Greeting the two, Heeseung caught himself widening his eyes for the thousandth time when he saw you. You carried out your typical habit of wearing bare, minimum makeup, but this time your hair was nicely styled, and you wore an elegant haltered, collared button up midi-dress, paired with black stilettos. You not only looked professional, but sleek and powerful, much different from your carefree style you flaunted when lounging at home.

“My God…this woman is a queen…she’s classy, sexy, pretty, and smart….she’s just….she’s everything.” he thought.

“Hey, were you guys waiting for long?”

“Nah, we just got here. Pretty nice place you work at, sis.” Sunghoon comments as he winks in your direction, remarking the incredible building and strict security.

Giggling at your brother’s sense of humor, you playfully narrow your eyes at him. “Thanks.” chuckling, you tuck a piece of your hair behind your ear, something that you constantly did since you always opted to keep your hair down, even when styled. The way you would delicately finger the strands behind the helix of your ear, revealing your pretty earrings, had Heeseung swore up and down that his heart was going to stop beating.

“Should I take you guys up and show you around?” you ask, to which both men nod in agreement. They had looked so suave and handsome, and you couldn’t help but admire, whenever he wasn’t looking, that Heeseung had a very dashing smile and looked very nice in a suit. You had to admit, there was something about the way he would chuckle or smile at you; you figured he had that same effect on everyone else, yet little did you know, his countenance was far more special whenever he was looking your way. You, the woman who was stirring a rumble of chaos in his heart, all out of love and infatuation. How was he ever going to get over you? How was he going to move on if he stayed with H/N? Knowing that you’re her sister. Or…worse….how was he going to live? If things didn't work out between him and H/N…knowing that he may never see you again. As shameful it was for him to admit, but never hating the fact, he was merely keeping his relationship with H/N alive for the sole purpose to keep in constant contact with you, and even…his friendship with Sunghoon. His relation to his best friend was still dear to him, but he found it hard to find any other reason to come by your parents home, other than to see you.

During the internship, you spent a great deal of time with Sunghoon and Heeseung, even after the event had ended, your bond with both Sunghoon and Heeseung continued to grow. Since H/N was in her own little world and spent much of her time with friends and hanging out after cheerleading practice, Heeseung found himself available to build a steadfast relationship with you.

Another week later, your bond started to become much closer…with Heeseung. With Sunghoon attending his classes, some of which he did share with Heeseung, others were separate, your younger brother had aspirations for a career that differed from his best friend, not to mention the presence of a young lady he had been frequenting with. Heeseung knew about her, and encouraged his friend to take the chance after the young woman had expressed interest in his dear friend. Sunghoon agrees and ever since, you had been seeing less of him around the house. But Heeseung remained, always dropping off H/N and spending some time with her at the house, normally watching movies or tv shows. However, when H/N became more engrossed with her friends and attending house parties thrown by people she knew, her presence became lacking. Heeseung never had any interest to attend events that were filled with younger teens, so of course, he would spend more time hanging out with you. In no time,  Heeseung and you had started to become close, and even had each other’s phone numbers.

You had sold your car before the move, and had the means to get a new one, yet when Heeseung frequently offered to give you rides and encouraged you to contact him whenever you needed transportation, it became a railroad that connected you two together. You had long forgotten about buying your own vehicle, it became routine for Heeseung to meet up with you, that he did it without you even texting him. He knew your schedule and would show up promptly to take you to work, pick you up, or stop at the store along the way home. During the weekends, whenever you felt like getting away, you would call him and invite him to a day of leisure, which he happily and always accepted. He was enjoying the amount of time he got to spend with you, it became the highlight of his time. Since meeting and forming a bond with you, there hadn't been a single bad day, even when classes were overbearingly long and going past schedule, his heart and mind was only filled with the image of your face and the sound of your voice. He couldn't wait to see you every day after his classes ended.

On a gloomy Saturday morning, you had the entire house to yourself. With your parents gone on a trip until Monday, H/N out on cheerleading camp, and Sunghoon taking his new lady friend out for the entire day on a date, you felt a bit lonely and bored. Taking your phone, you text Heeseung to see if he was up to go out to your favorite cafe. He was delighted and expressed he would be right over.

Pulling up to the driveway, Heeseung steps out and heads for the front door. Having been treated as an extending member of the family, he unlocks the door with the house key that once belonged to H/N, but her terrible habit in losing the previous spare copies had allotted your parents to encourage for her to give it to Heeseung to hold on to. Since he had always picked her  and her friends up after cheer practice, and dropped them off at home, it had made sense for him to keep hold of it, especially now with H/N away at camp. Entering the house, he calls out gently to make you aware that he arrived.

“Y/N, I’m here.” 

Hearing his voice from downstairs, you make your way over to greet him. “Hey, sorry for the wait, just going to grab my phone and wallet and we can go.”

He didn’t hear a single word you said. Only the sound of your voice and the image of your perfect visual was all he could process. You chose a flirty and tasteful summer dress, which had fit you so beautifully. It was without patterns, just a solid teal color that complimented your features greatly. Your hair swayed with every move you made, and he lost his complete train of thought as you shut of the lights. With the entire first floor darkened, the dim glare from upstairs peered in through the staircase. “Oh shoot, I must have left the light on in the guest room. I’ll be right back.”

“Kay…”

Walking back up the stairs, you enter the guest bedroom that featured all of your belongings nicely staged amidst the furnishings your parents had prepared. Walking over to the lamp, you glanced over to the window next to you and noticed how magnificent the moon had looked. It was bright and full, glowing in a range of orange and golden hues. Staring off into its glorified image, you thought of the last time you had seen the moon this beautiful. It was back when you were H/N’s age, and you were about to graduate high school, immediately preparing for college entry. Lost in a sense of nostalgia, you drifted so deep in your thoughts that you didn’t even hear his footsteps going up the stairs, entering the attic, and walking up from behind. You didn’t hear his shallow breath as he breached closer, and like you, he continued to take in a sight of something dazzling, one that wasn’t pearly perched in the middle of the night sky, but was equally, if not, more beautiful.

Coming up from behind you, he calls to you. “You okay?”

“Hm? Oh…sorry. Yeah, I’m fine, I was just looking at the moon and it got me thinking for a second.”

“Yeah?...” Softly dashing a side smile, he looks out the window and peers at the moon for a moment, then looks back over to you. “What are you thinking about?”

“I just…I don’t know, I was just thinking about when I last saw the moon like this. I was h/n’s age.”

Biting down on his lip, his eyes shift down to your hips before as he takes one step closer. Looking back up at you, his gaze was more stern, hungry even, and intense. “Yeah?....Were you just as amazing back then as you are now?”

Shifting backward, your breathing becomes deep and shaky as you take in his rather fierce stare. He looked so ruthless, yet his tone was soft and gentle. “He-Heeseung….?” You spoke out nervously.

“Answer me…” he softly tells you, as he takes another step forward, and watches as you take one back. His aura and stance was intimidating, much different than his usual persona. He faintly tilts his head to the side and widens his eyes as he stares directly into you. “Tell me….y/n…..were you always as bright as the moon? And as warm as the sun? Were you always as gentle as the fluttered wings of a butterfly, and as swift as the summer breeze?”

He continues to take his steps forward, speaking in a near whisper. You kept the distance in between your bodies while taking your steps back, until you felt your shoulders meet with the wall. Lowering your hands and reaching behind, your palms contact the cool surface, and your fingers tap along the small threaded grooves of the wallpaper, desperately trying to find something…anything to get a grip or to get away from the tension…which was starting to make you cave in. “Heeseung….He-Heeseung….don’t….we….we can’t…”

“What?....”

“Just….please….” sensing the intense desire he yearned for you, his eyes become glazed with the lust of passion and hunger. “Can’t what, y/n?” he softly speaks out, now closing the distance and meeting you chest to chest. “Heeseung…please…” you whimpered out softly. His gaze was doing something to you, it was almost as if he was calling for you, and your body was responding against your wishes. There was something about the way he was whispering your name, thirsting for you with his hungry eyes, and pressing up on your body, trapping you against the wall. There was something about the way his whispered words were antagonizing you to bid a suitable answer, one that you could not think of, yet he kept asking you…

“Can’t what?....” Raising his hands, he places both palms on the wall to each side of your head. Leaning into your ear, he whispers your name. “Y/n….”

You turned your face away, winced your eyes shut and avoid any sort of both, physical and eye contact. His hard chest presses against your breasts, and his groin meets with your pelvis. “Heeseung…..sssstop…..this is wrong….”

“If it’s wrong then push me away….come on baby….push….me….like how you’ve been pushing me.”

Turning your face straight forward, you looked at him confused. He nearly glares at you as he speaks in a firm tone. “Yes….that’s right, I said ‘push me’. You’ve had no problems doing it all this time. Pushing me over the edge…pushing me out of reality….pushing me into a state of madness and hunger……pushing me to love you harder….”

Widening your eyes at what seemed to be his confession of love to you, you shift around and placed your hands on his chest, gently pushing him outward, yet you weren’t pushing hard enough. You were shocked. Was Heeseung really in love with you? But more importantly…were you just now realizing that you might be feeling the same about him? You shook your head, trying to come back to a rational sense and reminded yourself of h/n and her relationship with Heeseung. Keeping your hands on him, you push just slightly harder, yet he leans forward, causing your arms and hands to retract back.

“Push harder….” He whispers against your cheek.

“Heesung we can’t…..we can’t do this…”

“Then push harder…” grabbing onto your hand as it lays plastered on his chest, he strokes the back of your palm as he continues to whisper onto your skin. “Come on baby….push harder.”

The way his pursed lips grazed against your skin, and the way his voice sounded when he called you ‘baby’, it may have been weakness or desperation, maybe it was a little bit of both, either way, you stopped caring. You came to realize the truth behind the close bond you built with this man, and how you came to be so fond of him. How his smile always caused your heartbeat to escalate, and how his voice sounded whenever he said your name, causing your stomach to flip upside down. Once more, he whispers deeply, this time, it was against your lips, all the while he stared into your hazy eyes.

“Push it…..keep pushing it y/n……”

Whimpering, you falter. “I…..I…….”

“Yeah?...” his voices begin to peak.

“I……Heeseung…..”

Smothering his lips against yours, you melt in his sudden embrace. You reach up and wrap your arms around his neck, further going numb when you felt his arms grip around your waist and lifts you to deepen that hold he had on you. Softly moaning into your mouth, he deepens the kiss and feeds his tongue as deep as he possibly could. Running out of air, you both wait til the very last second upon reaching the pinnacle of lightheadedness, before faintly breaking the kiss. With his nose pressed against yours, he tightens his wrap and lifts you higher, causing you to close any remaining distance as you wrap your legs around his waist. Walking over to the bed, he gently lays you down on the plush bedding. Your arms fling up and over your head, with your hair gracefully spread all around. Reaching up, his hands smooth their way above your head and grab onto your hands, slowly intertwining your fingers together. From there, his kisses trail down to your chin, and to your throat. He smothers you with one kiss after another, before coming back up, just below the lobe of your ear. With your face peeled to the side, and your chest heaving upwards from the denseness of his weight on top, you arch your back and dip your hips low, craving for more of his touch. Whispering into your ear, he unleashes the depth of his braved confession.

“You have no idea….just how much I’ve been wanting you. How many days and nights went by where I thought about you…just you. There’s nothing in my life that I ever wanted more than what I have right before me….pretty girl you should be mine….only mine….and I should be yours.”

Fluttering your eyelids up, growing weak from your shaky breathing and the throbbing tingle that taps your core, there was no way you wanted him to stop, but the thought of h/n came to mind and you gave it your last shot to be mentally strong….despite your heart wanting him all for yourself.

“Hee—Heeseung…..but….what about….m-my sister…?”

Keeping his lips latched onto your neck, he whispers in response. “I like her….” propping himself up, he hooks on the hem of his t-shirt, slowly lifting it up and over his head, revealing his hardened muscles. Flinging it off to the side, he stares down at you with almost a cynical stare, one that was psychotic, but filled with love. “But I love you….”

Gasping at the sight before you, you moan and whimper as you reach up and reaffirm the hold around his neck, bringing him closer to you. Never have you felt such intense love from someone. You have dabbled into the dating life and had a couple of boyfriends since college, but nothing too serious. This….this was something far more crazy….intense….insane even…..but it was a love that you knew that was too good to deny.

Draping your hands down onto his biceps, you arch your back sharply, pressing your breasts against his chest upon feeling his hands traveling low. Swooping under your thighs, he lifts and guides them to wrap around his waist as he rolls the hem of your dress up and coils it around your waist. Hooking his fingers on your panties, he starts ripping them apart. So eager to have you, he couldn’t quite understand anything other than satisfying the hunger he had been feeling since meeting you. He became a beast, a ravishing monster that needed to be tamed, and the only one that could do it, was you. You gasped upon feeling the tugging of him ripping the fabric of your underwear apart, yet were quieted down when he faintly breaks the kiss and places a single finger atop of your lips. “Its okay…..baby, I’m not going to hurt you….I’m just going to feed on you….” Resuming the kiss, he twirls his tongue inside, ever so lovingly. You feel his hands tug on the straps of your dress and pulls them loosely over your shoulders and exposes your breasts to the warmth of his chest as he cradles you in a sweet embrace. Your thighs begin to shake as you rub your fingers up and down his biceps, and moan into his mouth.

Locking your lips in, he delivers a single, sharp buck from his hip, hitting you semi-hard in between your legs. Yelping out of intense pleasure, you release a trailing moan into his mouth as he prevents you from breaking the kiss entirely. Sensing your nerves calming, he delivers another hit from his hip, this time grinding the clothed bulge into your core. You gasp for air upon feeling the mixture of pleasure and friction, causing you to become delirious and lost in the heat of passion. Smirking into your mouth, knowing full well that he was getting you weaker by the second, he delivers a series of repeated dry thrusts that gets you yelling out a trail of gasping moans.

“Ugh! Ugh! Ugh!”

“Yeah?…yeah? Come on baby….” Clenching his jaw, his thrusts become harder. “Show me how pretty you look, as MY girl...my pretty woman..”

You nearly lose your voice as you continue to moan slurred words and incomplete sentences, all starting off with his name. Propelling his weight off, he unbuckles his belt, and removes his jeans. His nude body now fully connects as you remain mostly bare, with only your flirty dress rolled around your waist, leaving you exposed beneath the tatters and loose ends of the fabric. Kneeling between your legs, he remains propped up high and mighty, leaving you merciless beneath his glaring smirk. Taking you by the waist, he drags you closer, and grinds into you as he takes his shaft and strokes it in between your plush folds. Watching as the skin surrounding your slit caresses his shaft, he triggers your body to secrete the hint of slick moisture, gently glazing his member. Chuckling while admitting a dashing smirk, he looks into your eyes directly, giving a harsh and relentless stare. He didn’t look as soft and gentle as he had all this time since you’ve known him. His eyes were much sharper, defined, and narrowed, and he had a dashing yet devious smirk that was much different than the traditionally handsome one he flares off. It was as if he was taken over by something, a hunger that manifested out of the great desire and love he had developed for you, almost immediately after seeing you for the first time. Was it love at first sight? Or were you just everything he had always dreamed of, yet thought too good to be true to exist? Either way, the moment was here, where he finally had you in his arms. Even he, himself, doesn’t know what exactly was coming over him, but that remained irrelevant as he gazed on the magnificent view beneath him. The suppleness of your skin on your breasts, the smoothness of your legs, and the loveliness of your delicate slit, which he could not wait to plunge in.

Licking his lip, his lids grow heavy and for a moment, you somewhat came back to your senses, but it was too late. With his hand firmly gripping your waist, he takes the base of his shaft and slowly begins to enter. You grab onto his hand immediately upon feeling the bulge pushing past your enclosed cavity. Your body hitches up and forward, reacting to the sting of his rather large and lengthy muscle, only for him to drag you back towards him.

“Ah! Wait…..I….” your breaths transition into raging pants from the immense pressure. It had been too long, and you had forgotten that unique and painful sensation of your walls breaching, but with Heeseung, it was ten times more blistering given his thick girth and exaggerated length.

“Shh….its okay baby….I’m right here. I’m going to make you feel good…”

Feeling each inch sliding in, your thighs start to shake, and your pelvis grows numb. The beat of pain starts to disappear and after a few seconds, all you feel is the pressure of your walls separating. Deep inside lays your soft and tender spot, and after looking at seeing how largely endowed he was, he reaches it, as you expected. Your chest deeply heaves and your back arches even more, expanding the volume of your moans to beat off the walls. Your body rolls and curls, causing your hips to surf up and down, gently tapping against his groin and letting him know that you were wanting more. So more much. Your hands move up but could only reach his naval region as he remained on his kneeling position, while you laid restlessly taking in the plunge. Your fingers delicately drag down and tap against his skin, shakily. He lets out another deep chuckle.

“Heh heh…you ready for me?” Trailing his hand across your chest, he firmly takes hold on the side of your neck. Answering him, you nod eagerly, but nervously. Smiling while breathing out unsteady exhales, amidst feeling the pressures of your tight walls hugging his cock, he releases a shaky chuckle. “My woman…”

Thrusting in the remaining bit of his shaft, he pelts himself all the way in. Your eyes jolt wide with a look of pain and slight fear as you gasp out a yelping moan.

“Oh fuck….keep looking at me like that….you’re so……fuck….” He gasps out as he picks up the pace and thrusts harder and deeper. Faster and faster, he expands the horizon of his sight as he views your facial expression, the movement of your breasts bouncing at high velocity, and how his cock was violating your womanhood. Just as much he was enjoying it, so were you. Seeing how monstrous he was in fucking you, had only thrilled you. The level of intimidation of his manhood and abrasiveness, all accompanying his will to please you, and himself, became the best feeling in the world that you could ever experience. Shifting your grip, you grab onto the blankets to each side of your face and moaned out every inch of ecstasy that he gave. Beating it into you, his cock throbs and pulsates, causing him to fuck you even faster and deeper. This man, your younger sister’s boyfriend, was giving it to you so good, you didn’t want it to end. At that moment, you didn’t care about the outcome of all this, it felt too good to give it up, the more he plunged in, the more you screamed out his name. He went on, and on, and on.

“Ugh! He-Heeseung!”

“Fuck…..” With his hand still maintaining a side grip on your neck, his thumb swipes up and down the center of your throat as he continues his merciless thrusts. “Oh fuck…fuck fuck fuck…..” he gasped out in whispering groans. “You’re so fucking perfect….I could fuck you forever……”

Going in even faster and harder, your body becomes a blur of your tone and complexion as it succumbs to his aggressive thrusting, causing you to bounce relentlessly up and down against the bedspread. Your head pins down on the pillow as he keeps you steady with his hold, using it as leverage to bring you in each time he thrusts back inside.

“Oh my God…!!” You gasp out in a smoldering tone, causing him to twitch inside as he heard the pleasures within your voice. The moment you felt the knot snap, you had the entire penetrating area soaked as you continuously gush out the pleasures of your orgasm. Watching as his cock glistens in between his thrusts, he growls out your name. His hand twitches its grip, and you feel his fingers faintly digging into your skin. Shifting his hold, his hand moves upwards, caressing your cheek, while his thumb swipes over your lips as you catch your breath. Releasing his essence, he remains buried inside and pumps every ounce of his hard labor inside of you. Sliding out, he exits out of your cavity, leading out a trail of his cum to not only seep and pool inside your walls, but to also decorate the exterior of your sex as he spills his seeds on your clit.

Leaning into a crawling stance above your tired and weakened form, he trails the tip of his nose along your throat and up to your chin. Embracing you in a passionate kiss, he rests his body next to you and pulls you in to a tight hug, leaving small kisses along your helix while he simultaneously tucks your hair behind it. Caressing your face with his fingers, he continues to show every ounce of his love, even after displaying his vigored performance in filling you with it. After catching your breaths, you broke the ice, even though you were enjoying the soft silence.

“….What happens now?....”

Heeseung remained aloof. He knew what he wanted, and nothing, even your eighteen-year-old sister, wasn’t going to keep him from keeping you. Hugging you tightly, whispers as he buries his face into your hair.

“What’s going to happen….is you continue to be mine, and leave everything else to me. I’ll deal with H/N. Just stay here and be mine…and only mine.”

You turn your face half way to flare your side profile at him. “Promise you’re going to be nice and go easy on her?”

“Why wouldn’t I be nice? I’ll be as nice as I can about it, and to her. But I’m always going to be nicer to you.” Leaning into your ear once more, he whispers. “Because I may like your sister….but I love you.”

Enjoyed this piece? Show love and treat your girl to a cup of coffee. ♥️ 

☕ Ko-fi: ko-fi.com/reinbow

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[nvrsaidiwasinurcloset]

ok, sorry abt my last request i’ll be more specific

can you do ethan landry is best friends with readers brother? and they annoy eachother a lot?

and it ends it a smut pls :3

love your work sm!!

Hiiii! I hope you like it :)

Bad Idea Right? - Ethan Landry x Fem!Reader

Ethan Landry x Fem!Reader

This contains SMUT- Minors DNI

Part 2

Summary: You hook up with your brother's irritating best friend.

A/N: If y'all want a part 2, let me know:)

You and your brother have a good sibling relationship, which you’re thankful for. The only issue you have is that his best friend, Ethan, is so incredibly annoying. They’ve been friends for the longest time, and they do everything together. When they both got into the same school, you weren’t surprised.

Ethan’s sort of became a part of the family. Your parents buy him Christmas presents; he comes on all the family vacations. It wasn’t a shocker when your brother wanted to come home to visit you for your birthday, that Ethan would be coming with him.

You’re the only one in your family that isn’t really close to him, which does feel weird from time to time. You’ll never forget the beach vacation when he chased you along the sand with a washed-up jellyfish, or when he was teasing you when you got your first crush, or when he went through a prank phase, and you were his target every single time.

As both boys arrived home to celebrate your birthday, you were excited to see them. Even though Ethan does annoy you, it’s been months since you’d seen them.

Your brother pulled you into a big hug as Ethan walked past you to say hello to your parents.

“Happy Birthday!” your brother said, you rolled your eyes.

“It was a month ago, dork,” you said, a playful tone in your voice.

“Sorry I couldn’t come home sooner. One of my classes this year has been brutal,” he said, so happy that the class is now over.

“Hi, Ethan!” you said sarcastically, as the curly-haired boy rolled his eyes when he faced you.

He looked like he was about to say something back, but he paused as he took in your appearance. You started to feel a little self-conscious, thinking you must’ve had a stain on your shirt or something, because he’s never looked at you like that. He’s usually just as annoyed with you as you are with him.

The next day, your brother told you he was throwing you a surprise birthday party.

“It’s not a surprise if you tell me, you know?” you said, “Plus it’s been a month. Why have a party now?”

“Because you only turn eighteen once,” he said, “And we always celebrate your birthday.”

“Okay, when is this surprise party for me, that I already know about?” you said with a giggle.

“That’s the part that’s surprising. It’s in 2 hours, you might want to get ready,” He laughed a little, looking at the sweatpants and big t-shirt you were wearing.

“Fuuuuck,” you whined, walking to the bathroom to jump in the shower.

After you got out of the shower, you stood on the mat reaching for your towel when the door opened.

“Oh shit, I’m so sorry,” Ethan said, closing the door.

“Fuck,” you whispered, wrapping the towel around your body.

You’d gotten used to having your own bathroom while your brother was away, so you didn’t even think to lock the door. You started to get a little embarrassed, now that your brother’s best friend has seen you naked.

Once you dried off and put your robe on, you walked to your room to change.

As Ethan watched you walk out of the bathroom from your brother’s room across the hall, he couldn’t get the image of your naked, wet body out of his mind. He was half-hard in his pants at his thoughts. ‘Why the fuck am I thinking about her like this?’ he thought to himself.

“I’m going to go get the cake. You want to set out the drinks and stuff?” your brother asked Ethan.

“Uh, yeah. I guess I can do that,” he said, the idea of him being left at the house with you making him nervous.

“Cool, I’ll be back soon,” he said, grabbing his keys.

After you got dressed, you walked to the kitchen to get something to drink. Ethan was putting chips in bowls at the counter as you struggled to reach around him to get a glass. You brushed up against him, and he felt his breath hitch in his throat.

You got some water before sitting down at the kitchen table. You wanted to say something to him about the bathroom incident, but you were scared to make the situation even more awkward. As you sat there, you just had to say something.

“Hey, Ethan?” you said. He turned his head to look at you. “I’m sorry I forgot to lock the door. I know seeing me naked was probably the last thing you wanted.”

You watched him, waiting for a response. His face started to turn red, as you giggled to yourself.

“It’s..uh…it’s okay,” he said, directing his attention back to the chips.

While he was turning back around and you saw him from the side for a split second, you could see that he was hard in the sweatpants he was wearing. It was your turn for your cheeks to heat up. You sat in silence as he finished setting everything up.

“I’m going to go change,” he said, before walking out of the kitchen and to your brother’s room.

After your brother got back and all your friends started to arrive, Ethan was struggling to take his eyes off you. You noticed his gaze as you danced with your friends to the music, a smirk playing on your lips when he quickly looked away. You thought he was hot, but he annoyed you so much that you never realized it until recently.

You kept noticing his stares as the party went on, so when it was time for the cake, you decided to tease him a little bit. You swiped your finger through the icing, before putting the icing in your mouth. Your eyes connected with Ethan as you sucked it off, his heart pounding in his chest at your actions.

After the cake, you went to the kitchen to get another drink. Ethan was leaning against the counter by himself as your brother shamelessly flirted with one of your friends in the living room.

“Hey, you might piss me off, but thank you for being here,” your voice was sweet as you spoke to him.

“Can I ask you a question?” he asked, watching you sip your drink.

“What’s up?” you asked. He leaned closer to your ear so no one else could hear what he was saying to you.

“Are you intentionally trying to make me hard out there in front of everybody?” he asked, as his eyes scanned over your face. “I know you like to do things that embarrass me, so if you aren’t interested, please stop.”

You smiled at him, thinking back to all the things you’d done that were probably just as annoying as the stuff he’s done to you. But this was intentional. You wanted him to want you, and it’s obvious now that he does.

“Meet me in my room in five minutes,” you said, before walking away.

You scanned the living room to find your brother, still distracted from everything going on around him. You found your best friend, pulling her to the side.

“Hey, I’m going to disappear for a little bit. If anyone’s looking for me, tell them I’ll be right back, and text me immediately, okay?” you asked. The confused look on her face said you needed to explain more. “I’m about to hook up with Ethan. My brother can’t know, cover for me.”

She nodded, still confused at the situation.

You went up the stairs to your room to wait for Ethan. Your friend smirked to herself as she watched him scan the party for your brother, before heading upstairs not long after you.

“Lock it,” you said, as he walked in and shut the door.

“So demanding,” he laughed, as he locked the door.

You walked over to him and grabbed his hands so you could lead him to your bed. You laid back, pulling him on top of you. When his lips were on yours, something just clicked. It felt right, like this was what the two of you were supposed to be doing this whole time.

His hands started to roam under the fabric of your shirt, his fingertips grazed your stomach as you whimpered under his touch. As good as this felt, you remembered that you didn’t have a lot of time to do what you came up here to do.

“We need to be quick,” you gasped out, once his hand reached your breast.

He lifted your shirt as you sat up a little so he could get it over your head. You reached behind you to unhook your bra, sliding the straps down your arms.

“Fuck,” he whispered, taking in the sight in front of him.

“Like what you see?” you joked, as he leaned forward to take one of your nipples in his mouth, before moving to the other one.

You panted underneath him at his actions, when he started to kiss down your stomach. He got you out of your pants and panties, pulling them both down in one quick motion. His mouth started to water as he saw your soaking wet pussy. He leaned forward, latching onto your clit as he slid two of his fingers into you.

Your whimpers went straight to his cock as his fingers moved faster. You were getting so caught up in how good you were feeling, that you were losing track of time. Ethan pulled away from you and unzipped his pants, sliding both his jeans and boxers down his thighs.

He grazed your clit with his tip as he tried to line up with your entrance, the anticipation making your hips jolt at the action.

As he slid into you, a low moan flew out of your mouth.

“Shhh,” he said, his hips starting to move. “You need to be quiet, baby.”

You found it hard to do, especially with your orgasm quickly approaching. Then, you heard your phone vibrate on the bed beside you.

“Fuck,” you said, out of breath, “We need to hurry up. My brother was asking where I am.”

He sped up his hips, pounding into you as he quickly rubbed his fingers across your clit. The stimulation was sending you over the edge as you choked back the moans that were threatening to spill out of your mouth. The image of you shaking underneath him had his own orgasm quicky approaching.

“Fuck,” he gasped, as he pulled out, releasing on your stomach.

He grabbed some tissues out of the box on your nightstand, wiping his cum off you.

You both put your clothes back on as quick as possible, fighting the urge to have a conversation about what’d just happened.

“I wish I could’ve taken my time with you,” he said, before you walked over to the door.

“There’s always next time,” you said, planting a kiss to his cheek.

You left your room first, joining the party again. Your best friend came up to you.

“So, how was it?” she asked.

“For a nerd, he sure knows what he’s doing,” you quietly joked, as he walked down the stairs.

“Dude, where were you?” your brother asked him, a blush rising to his cheeks at the question.

“Uh..I had to call my dad,” he lied, your brother nodded at his response.

“Cool. I couldn’t find my sister either. I thought you two killed each other.”

#scream smut #scream #ethan landry #ethan landry smut #ethan landry x reader

[lovemadethemdoit]

bradley asks jake to do christmas with him, mav and ice about eighteen months into their relationship and it's the first time jake is hit with the realization that their relationship maybe doesn't come with an end date.

last year he spent it with the machados, like usual, because he didn't want to intrude on bradley's first christmas with mav after them reconnecting, knowing that it wasn't very considerate to crash their christmas celebrations when he wouldn't be around for long.

but when bradley puts in for leave and asks jake to do so too so they can spend their holidays with mav and ice, he freezes and bradley frowns. "what is it, baby" he asks, coming over to put a hand on jake's bare hip where he's leaning against the kitchen counter sipping his morning coffee. jake opens his mouth but nothing comes out because his mind is running.

he meets bradley's eyes and feels bad when he sees the uncertainty there. "nothing," jake says quickly, although it's obviously something's up, with jake acting like a freak first thing in the morning.

bradley takes the coffee from jake's hands and puts it on the counter, pulls jake around to face him. "tell me," he demands softly. "is it because you want to spend the holidays with javy and his folks?"

jake swallows, because bradley knows him so well, knows it would be a thing that could bother jake, feeling like bowing out of the machado celebrations would be disrespectful to the family who took him in when his own threw him out on the streets.

but it wasn't even his first thought when bradley asked him just now, casually suggesting he better put in his leave now so they could plan ahead. no, his first thought was about how bradley wanted him there.

still planned on having jake there in another six months.

like he didn't wake up every single morning thinking this would be the day he fucked up enough to lose this, like jake did.

"no," jake finds some bravado, letting bradley pull him closer, the concern on his face pulling at jake's heartstrings something fiercely. "are you sure you want me the– you guys want me there?" he stutters out. jake hasn't stuttered since sixth grade and his cheeks start to heat. bradley's frown deepens. "of course," he says, simply, raising a hand to cup jake's cheek. "of course i want you there. what makes you think i wouldn't?"

jake has to swallow again. "i don't know. i just thought..." he trails off.

"thought what?" bradley looks at him intently, like jake's important. like jake's important to figure out.

"i'm not really the type to take home, am i," he admits softly.

bradley's eyes soften. "well, you're wrong about that, seresin. cause i'm taking you there, if you'll let me."

jake can't suppress a smile. he nods. "okay, bradshaw. just this once." bradley laughs quietly. "sorry to tell you, babe, but there's no expiry date on this invite. i'll take you home every year now, sweetheart." bradley leans in for a kiss and jake's heart flutters at the words, at the soft touch of bradley's lips. "every single year, baby," bradley whispers, voice a little rough when they pull apart. "you're not getting rid of me"

#hangster #sereshaw #writing

[forays-into-fiction]

I Hate You... But Not Really

Eddie and you have been best friends for as long as you can remember and you’ve been crushing on him for about as long. He starts dating Chrissy however and jealousy rears its ugly head for both you and Jason. Jason has the bright idea to “date” each other to make them jealous instead. Nothing goes as planned... or does it?

Request fill for Anon, hope you like it... this one ended up being very long lol.

Minors DNI

Contains: Fake Dating/Fake Relationship (Jason/Reader), Eddie/Reader, Eddie/Chrissy, Jason/Chrissy, Bestfriend!Eddie, Virgin!Reader, A Little Bit of Angst, Loss of Virginity, Protected Sex 

You had decided to take lunch in the library today, curling up with a book instead. It wasn’t that unusual for you to skip lunch and hang out in the library, you had to get away from the rowdy Hellfire boys and their antics every now and then.

However, since Eddie had started dating Chrissy, you’d spent more and more time in the library rather than be subjected to their lovey-dovey nonsense. If you had to see them, make goo-goo eyes at each other one more time you might actually explode. 

God forbid she ever showed up at a Hellfire session you’d up and leave the club if that ever happened. You were trying to be happy for him, happy that he was happy, but it was hard when they just had to go and rub it in your face.

That’s where he finds you, tucked away in a corner reading quietly when he breaks the silence.

“y/l/n!” He whisper-yells as he approaches you.

“What is it, Carver? I’m not in the mood for your shit today.” His presence only serves to worsen your sour mood.

“Ok, since when did you get so sassy?”

“Fuck off, I told you I’m not in the mood. What?”

“Well, I’m… I’ve come with a proposal of sorts…” he drawls.

“Jesus Christ, get to the point.” You huff.

“Look, I know we’ve had our differences…” You scoff, he continues, “…but I think we’re both in the same little predicament.”

“Oh, yeah and what’s that?”

“You know Chrissy left me for the Freak-.”

“Hey, don’t call him that!” You can’t help but defend him, even now when you’re mad at him.

“Ok, for… Munson, and it’s kinda obvious the way you pine over him.”

“I DO NOT ‘pine’. You’ve had that same stupid joke since we were ten get over it, Eddie and I are just friends.”

“But that’s not what you want is it? You want it to be more than that and I want Chrissy to take me back, so…”

“So, what…? I’m not following.”

“Geez and I thought you were the smart one. We make them angry, jealous… we date each other to rile them up.”

“God that has to be the stupidest plan I’ve ever heard. I’m not dating you, Carver.”

“Well, you wouldn’t be… not really anyway. We’d just pretend long enough to each get what we want.”

“And why exactly would either of them even care?”

“I don’t know what’s going on with Chrissy that she’d leave me and especially for that…” You give him a warning glare, he continues, “…for him, but I know she doesn’t really love him. She loves me, I love her we… we had plans to get married-”

“Oh, wow that is pathetic, marriage? You’re fucking eighteen get over yourself. Maybe that’s why she left you.”

“No, it’s not, it was her idea actually… that doesn’t matter. Anyway, I’ve seen the way Munson looks at you, he’s got feelings for you even if he won’t admit it.”

“So, what? How would that even work?”

“We go on ‘dates’, get seen together doing couple-y shit, see how they react and go from there I guess.”

“Ok, but what ‘couple-y shit’ are we talking about here, cause I’m not fucking sleeping with you.”

“Jesus, I never said you would! It’s not like I’d want to either. I dunno like the normal stuff, holding hands, maybe some kissing that kind of thing.”

“I’m gonna need a whole lot more outta this than ‘Eddie might have feelings’ for me to do anything with you.”

“Am I really that bad?”

“Yes actually, you are.”

“Fine, I’ll pay you.”

“Eww you creep. I don’t want your money.”

“Then what will it take?”

You ponder for a moment before answering, what would it take? You reach a decision, “You have to be nicer to all the Hellfire guys from now on. Or at least civil with us, even after you get Chrissy back.”  

“Ok, but what about if Munson tries to start shit?”

“Then you ignore him, be the bigger man or whatever.”

“Alright fine.” He concedes.

“Fine.” You huff back in response.

“So, like do you want to set up a schedule or something?”

You glance at the clock on the wall, “Look, lunch is almost over why don’t we just meet up on the weekend and sort out the details then…”

You reach into your backpack, pulling out a notebook and pen you scrawl across a page before tearing it out, “… here is my address, just come past around noon.”

He takes the slip of paper folding it and placing it in his back pocket, “Sure, I’ll see you then.”

He turns and saunters off while you pack away your belongings and begin heading to your next class.

He stands on your front porch and jabs at the doorbell, you’re not too far off and answer quite quickly.

“Y/l/n.” He nods his head in greeting.

“We’re going to at least have to call each other by our first names, you know?” You usher him inside, lingering in the front hall.

“Right, yeah that’s true. Ummm, do we… do we use pet names too or…?”

You shrug, continuing as you lead him through to the living room, “I mean maybe… that is something couples do.”

He looks around taking in his surroundings, “Your parents home?”

“No. No, they’ve gone out for lunch with some friends. So, take a seat I guess and let’s get to… whatever the hell this is.” You gesture to the couch.

He does so more awkwardly than you would’ve expected from him, was he nervous? No that couldn’t be it, not Mr. Cocksure Big-shot Basketball Captain.

“So, uh… y/n…” he begins, tentatively testing out your name, “how about we start with some ground rules, lay out all the do’s and don’t’s and what each of us expects from this.”

“Well, let’s start with the obvious, no sex, in fact nothing past first base. You may call me common pet names, like babe, baby, honey, when appropriate, but never sweetheart. No one can know the truth, everyone has to actually believe we’re dating and happy together for it to work. Also on that note, how did this supposedly start? Why did I suddenly get over all your years of torment and fall into your arms?”

“Ok, well that was a lot all at once. Um I guess yes to all of the aforementioned, I will add that I will pay for any ‘dates’ that we do go on. I’d feel weird if I didn’t, even if this isn’t real. Also you have to show up to my games, all the big ones at least. But as to the last part I don’t really know… I uh apologised…” he replies uncertainly, with a slight wince.

“Oh, that’s all it took you said sorry and suddenly I was swooning over you?”

“I don’t know, it was a really good apology?”

“Ok let’s hear it then. Like you mean it too.”

“What?”

“This grand apology that was supposedly enough for me to forget what a fucking jackass you are to me and all my friends.”

“O-ok… ummm y/n…” he trails off.

“Wow solid start there bud you wanna maybe continue, you didn’t even say the words ‘I’m sorry’.”

“I’m thinking ok! When did you become such a bitch anyway, thought you were all quiet and shy and shit?”

“Oooh yeah, that’ll really sell it call me a bitch-”

He cuts you off quickly, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that. It’s just, this is hard, ok?”

“Can’t be harder than the shit you put Eddie and me through.” You grumble.

“Ok I’m sorry, really, I am. I don’t even know why I gave you shit, you actually seem kinda normal enough. I guess it was just ‘cause you were always around him, always defending him. Why even hang around that creep anyway?” He answers surprisingly earnestly.

“‘Creep’ isn’t any better than ‘freak’ you know.”

“See, like that always defending him.”

“He’s my friend, surely you know what that’s like or at least have some concept of it? And don’t give me some “oh being popular is a curse you never know who your friends really are’ type shit.”

“Of course, I have friends… it’s just no one has ever defended me like that.”

“Maybe ‘cause you’ve never needed it, anyway that is entirely beside the point. We’ve gotten derailed, let’s try to get this back on track.”

“You believe that I am sorry, right?”

“I believe that you think that, but it’s good enough. Just maybe leave out the bits about insulting my best friend in your apology and it’s fine.”

“I am sorry.”

“Ok, so you apologised and then what? How did it get from mutual understanding to ‘I’m madly in love with you.’?”

“As part of my apology I offered to buy you dinner, extend an olive branch so to speak. At dinner we actually hit it off and find that we don’t actually hate each other. Maybe we have some things in common and we decided to do it again.”

You hum in consideration, “Ok, sure we’ll go with that, but what do we actually have in common?”

“Not much I’d imagine, we… uhhh go to the same school, we’re in the same grade, ummm what… what kind of movies do you like, what sort of music do you listen to?”

“Well, my favourite movie genres are horror/thriller and fantasy. Music, it varies, but mainly rock I guess, like punk and alternative type stuff, I know my music taste surprises most people. I think they think that I’d have to be into like classical music or something for being so shy and bookish, even though I hang around a bunch of metalhead rockers.”

“I dunno none of that really works, I mean I don’t mind horror but it’s not my favourite. Ummm there… there is one thing that no one really knows about me…”

“Yeah, what’s that oh man of mystery?”

“Don’t… don’t make fun of me, please.”

“Why shouldn’t I?” You begin but catch sight of his pleading gaze and you fold, “Oh, alright fine, guess I’ll take my own advice and ‘be the bigger man’.”

“Thank you. Uhh… I actually like to read… like a lot, but I don’t let people see me when I do ‘cause I gotta wear these dorky glasses. I’ve had a few concussions and it’s messed with my vision.”

“Oh, ok I actually didn’t expect that at all. What sort of stuff do you read?”

“I like a lot of different things, stuff on history and war, sports… and um poetry…”

“Poetry? You, Jason Carver, read poetry?”

“Yeah, come on I said not to make fun of me.”

“No, I’m not… I’m not, it’s just not what I expected, the rest is yeah typical, I get that, but poetry? Does Chrissy know about this?”

“Yeah, she does. She also said she thinks my glasses are cute, but I don’t know, I think she was just saying that to make me feel better.”

“Ok, well I’m not all that into poetry myself, but history is alright, I guess. So, reading, we both like to read um anything else?”

“What about aspirations for after high school?”

“Well, you said you and Chrissy were thinking marriage, right?”

“Yeah, but not for a while yet, we’d have to get settled first, build careers so we can support ourselves.”

“Yeah, didn’t actually think you would’ve thought that far ahead, no offence. Personally, I’d like to get out of Hawkins for a start. Go to college, study maybe either something in writing or science, what about you?”

“Well, I’m aiming to get a basketball scholarship if I can, do something with that, but sports is kind of a high risk kinda deal. There’s no real guarantee. Not sure what my fallback could be, but I’m working on it.”

“That’s good. So, let’s recap. You apologised and took me out for dinner. I accepted and we got to know each other, found out we’re both readers and bonded over that. We shared our aspirations for after high school and agreed to do it again some time.”

“Yep, that all sounds about right, but don’t tell anyone about the glasses thing, ok?”

“Secret’s safe with me.”

“Thank you.”

“Ok, so the actual ‘dates’ is that going to be like a spontaneous thing or should we have a scheduled ‘date night’?”

“Scheduled date night sounds better to me, I can do Saturdays after practice?”

“Yeah, that works I guess, how are we going to balance your games and Hellfire though? They clash more often than not.”

“Well, can’t you guys reschedule your little cult meetings?”

“Jason,” you sigh exasperatedly, “you were doing so well too. It’s not a cult, it’s a Dungeon’s and Dragons club. And they will not reschedule for this. I can maybe get someone to sub for me every now and then, I guess.”

“It’s ok you only have to come to the big games, I’ll let you know which ones they are when they come up.”

“Sure ok, that’s settled. First ‘date’ next week, what are we going to do?”

He shrugs, “We could go to the cinema? I overheard Chrissy telling her friends that… Munson was going to take her to see ‘Pretty in Pink’.”

“Really, you want them to see us together that soon?”

“I dunno, why not?”

“Oh, no. No, we are nowhere near ready for that. It has to be really fucking believable before that happens.”

“Ok, so what do you think we should do?”

“I think the first few ‘dates’ should just be practice being around each other. Don’t try and focus on somewhere we can be seen, think somewhere we can both be comfortable.”

“I mean I’d say the library, it’d fit into our narrative, but then there’s the whole glasses thing.”

“Yeah, ok… um how about we actually go for dinner. Maybe somewhere less common for all the Hawkins High kids to be at.”

“Oh, there’s this restaurant my parents go to! It’s called Enzo’s. How about that?”

“Wouldn’t that be a little, um… expensive?”

“Yeah, but so what? I’m paying.”

“I dunno just makes me feel skeevy…”

“Don’t. I’m the one who suggested it. Think of it as reparations for years of bullying.”

“Ok, fine. Enzo’s then. When does your practice finish?”

“Four. So, we’ll make the dinner around seven, I’ll uh pick you up if you want or we could just meet there.”

“Um yeah you can pick me up, it’ll give us more time to go over our stories, get everything straight.”

“Ok cool.”

“Cool.”

“Uhh… now what?”

“Um I mean you can go…what else is there.”

“Yeah, sure I’ll go.” He stands awkwardly, you stand with him to escort him out.

He pauses at the door, “Should we… try to interact at school?”

“Yeah… nothing too extreme just yet, but yeah, I guess. Maybe just like greeting in the halls, small talk, that sort of stuff.” You shrug.

“Ok, so I guess we’re doing this… babe.”

“Uhhh… yeah I guess so… babe.” The word feels foreign on your tongue, using it to address Jason Carver of all people.

You open the door waving as he leaves and he waves back. You retreat back into the comfort of your home a little dumbfounded by how that had turned out. It was interesting, being forced to see him in a new light, as a multifaceted human being rather than just some dumb jock stereotype.

It’s like the world is working against you, any time you and Jason are together, Eddie and Chrissy are nowhere to be seen. It’s beginning to frustrate you, you know there is gossip going around the school about you two, but neither of them have given any indication that they’re aware of it. 

Not even the rest of the Hellfire Club have said anything. They all know you’re seeing someone you’ve told them as much, you had to give some explanation as to why you were missing Hellfire sesions so much. They all believe you’re in a happy relationship, they just haven’t seen it yet.

You’re on yet another date with Jason, you’d missed out on this session of Hellfire Club to go to one of his games and he suggested dinner at the diner afterwards. A few of his teammates and their girlfriend’s had come too, but you insisted on your own booth, it could be so stifling being around Jason’s friends.

“So, what actually happened with you and Chrissy, if you don’t mind me asking?”

He sets down his cutlery and sighs, beginning in a hushed tone, “She started pulling away from me, don’t know what I did, it wasn’t so much like she was mad… just distant. I don’t get it.”

“Hmm, you know it may not have been anything you did, maybe she was going through some personal stuff.”

“Yeah, but why wouldn’t she tell me, I could help her. Why did she turn to… him?”

“Look I can’t answer for her personally, but sometimes when I’m dealing with my own shit I retreat into myself. Don’t wanna feel like I’m burdening others with my problems… especially those I’m closest to. Usually when I get like that Eddie is the one to pull me up, dust me off so to speak and just get me through it. He’s good like that, very observant when he wants to be, he just knows when someone’s got it rough and he wants to help.”

Jason scoffs, “Yeah alright, all the girls going to Munson… what’s he got that I don’t.”

“Did you even listen to a word I said? It’s not about you or what you can offer. She’s probably just going through something, maybe something she’s ashamed of or is embarrassed about and doesn’t want you to know. Maybe she’s just worried about how you’ll see her if you find out.”

“I would never judge her for anything, she should know that. Instead, she turned around and left me for another guy.”

“Jason have you fucking seen yourself, you can be such a judgmental, righteous prick-”

“Hey, keep it down, you don’t want someone to hear you saying stuff like that if we’re going to pull off the ‘loving couple’ shit.” He hisses cutting you off.

You lower your voice slightly leaning in, hopefully from the outside it just looks like you’re two little lovebirds wrapped up in your own little world, “… you are a bully and you’ve shown that girls aren’t off limits, why would she think she can go to you with everything.”

He has the decency to look ashamed at that, “I am sorry you know… for how I treated you.”

“Fine, ok I got that, I’m moving past it, but can you see where I’m coming from?”

“I-I think so, but what can I do… what could I have done then? What if we get back together and something like this happens again?”

“I don’t know, it’s a complex thing, you gotta be patient with her. Push but not too hard, get her to see that you won’t judge her for anything. When she really believes that maybe she will accept your help when she needs it.”

“I guess… thank you. You know I haven’t really talked about this with anyone, it’s good to get stuff off my chest.”

“Yeah, that is the general idea, when you’re going through something you need someone that will listen. And look at you turning to ‘another girl’ for support.”

He rolls his eyes, “Yeah, I get it now, ok. You don’t have to rub it in.”

“Ok… you know deep down and I mean deep, deep down you’re not so bad. You know when you actually act like a human being.”

“Oh, careful that almost sounded like an actual compliment.”

“Shove off… I mean I get why you act the way you do, I guess. I know your popularity is important to you, but is it really more important than being yourself, was it worth losing someone you love?”

“Ummm… no, no it’s not...” He concedes, “…but it is what I gotta do to get where I wanna go.”

“That’s bullshit and you know it-”

He’s getting frustrated, you can tell, the way he clenches his fists, “No it’s not. If I’m not popular, I’m not basketball captain. If I’m not captain, I don’t get the recognition. If I don’t get the recognition, I don’t get a scholarship-”

You place a hand over his, “Stop, relax its ok I’ll drop it, just keep in mind Chrissy likes you for you… I’m assuming… and if she doesn’t, she’s not worth it, but that is going to be how you win her back… by being yourself.”

“Fine.” He grumbles.

“You gonna finish those?” You point to the last few fries on his plate that he’d been ignoring.

“Nah, have ‘em if you want and then we can get out of here. I’ll drop you off at yours.”

“Thank you.”

As you stand to leave, passing the other guys from the team, Jason nods his head towards them and you give them an awkward little wave, calling out, “Bye guys, see you around.”

Andy calls back, “What you guys leaving already? Don’t wanna come back to mine? My parents are gone for the weekend, I was thinking we could… party.”

Jason answers for the pair of you, to your surprise in the negative, “Nah, sorry man gotta take my girl home she’s feeling a bit tired. You know how it is?”

Andy gives him an exaggerated wink that makes your skin crawl, “Sure do man, you kids have fun.”

You tug on Jason’s arm and he escorts you out to his car, “Ugh why’d he have to be so gross?” You groan with a full-body shiver.

He responds as he starts up the car, “Oh, come on it wasn’t that bad… and isn’t that what we want? For people to think we’re a good, real couple… real couples have sex you know?”

“So… you and Chrissy then…?”

“Of course, me and Chrissy. What… did you expect us to be celibate or something?”

“No uh… I don’t know, it’s not like I think about you with her… like that.”

“What about you… have you ever…?”

“Uhh… no, umm… it’s not that I don’t want to, I just never… I mean…”

He holds up one hand in surrender, the other still on the wheel, “Hey, it’s fine, you don’t have to explain yourself to me.”

You let out a sigh, “Ok, yeah… I am tired you know? This shit is fucking exhausting.”

“Gee, thanks. Good to know being with me is exhausting.”

“No, it’s not that, it’s just doing this is like constantly being on stage, putting on a performance… having to be so acutely aware of every action and everyone in the room.”

He’s silent for a moment, “Do you think… do you think maybe that’s how Chrissy feels with me?”

“I can’t answer for her, maybe that’s just something the two of you will have to figure out for yourselves.”

“Oh… ok.” He seems a little crestfallen.

“Sorry, I can’t give you a better answer.”

“Nah, that’s fine we’re almost at your place now.”

“We’ve gotten to know each other now, like really know each other, but there’s one thing I still don’t get.”

“Yeah, what’s that?”

“Why are you part of Munson’s little cult, I get maybe you didn’t have any other friends when we were kids but come on you could do so much better than that now.”

“Watch yourself there, Carver. You’re on thin ice…” you warn, “…and it’s not a cult. Ok, how bout I put it to you like this. That game we all play dungeons and dragons, what do you actually know about that?”

“Just that it’s some devil-worshipper thing…”

“See you’re wrong though, it’s not… at all. If anything, it’s the complete opposite cause you’re fighting against evil.”

He looks at you sceptically, you continue, “It’s just a little fantasy game, we’re not hurting anyone by playing a game. Look, you play basketball, you love basketball, there’s this whole culture around that. The way you feel about the game, your teammates, it’s not so different from Hellfire Club.”

“Yes, it is.” He protests.

“Just hear me out ok, D&D brings us together it gives us a sense of camaraderie we band together to fight the big bad evil guy, there’s strategy and an element of chance and everything can be decided by the roll of a die. I imagine scoring the final game wining point would feel the same as defeating the villain or pulling off an insane move that gets the party through untold dangers.”

“But-”

“Look, how about you just come to one of the Hellfire sessions see what it’s really like. You’ve got a bye this week, don’t you?”

“Yeah, but will they even let me through the door?”

“Yes, I’ll make sure they’re nice to you ok… but you gotta do the same.”

“I will.”  You shoot him a look, “I will, I promise.”

“Good.”

“Still doesn’t explain Munson though that guy is clearly…”

You stop him in his tracks with a pointed glare, “Yes… care to finish that statement?”

“Well, what I mean to say is he’s just so… so… oh the only words I can come up with are still devil-worshipper, with all his metal music and chains and leather, what do you see in him?”

“He’s a good guy,” he looks at you sceptically, “No really, he is, all of that hard-ass attitude stuff is just like a barrier to protect himself. He hasn’t had it easy and stuff like his music helps him cope. Is it really so bad that he is unapologetically himself?”

“Y/n the guy is crazy, jumping on tables, shouting off his little rants that make digs at the rest of the school, not to mention everything else.”

“He’s not crazy, he can be a bit dramatic but he’s got a point with that stuff. Like really why? Why do we get singled out and picked on for our interests when the basketball team can be celebrated for theirs?”

You rush to add,” I mean no offence by that, but really, we’re all here just trying get by, make it through one day at a time, find happiness where we can. He gives the outcasts of the school somewhere we can belong and he’s been my friend since about as far back as I can remember, always been there for me regardless of what he’s going through. He is a good guy.”

“I mean I guess… when you put it like that. I still don’t like him though.” He grumbles.

“I never asked you to like him just be civil with him and I’ll try to make sure he does the same.”

“Fine I can live with that.”

At lunch the next day you decide to broach the topic with the rest of Hellfire. When you get there she’s there, you shouldn’t be so surprised you guess, but it had been a few days since you sat with them for lunch.

The way she was dressed today was almost enough to turn your stomach… she was wearing his Hellfire shirt. You steeled yourself, no you weren’t going to let this get to you, all the more reason to invite Jason to Hellfire.

“Hey guys!” You greet everyone as you plop down into a seat.

They reply in kind and you continue while you have their attention, “So, everyone knows I’ve been seeing someone…” they nod, “… well I kinda wanted to ask if you guys would be alright if I brought him by one of the Hellfire sessions? Just to watch of course, he said he wants to know what it’s about, so I thought the best way would be to show him.”

Eddie narrows his eyes at you, “Right why would we let some random guy-”

“My boyfriend.” You correct him.

“Whatever, your boyfriend… why would we let him sit in? We don’t even know the dude.”

“Well, there you go you can see just who he is when we both show up.”

“Yeah, and on that note, you’ve been missing a lot of sessions lately… what’s up with that? Would you even know how to play anymore?” He bites back snarkily.

Oooh, is he bitter, could this actually be working already?

“Of course, I remember how to play, it’ll be fine… please?”

“Fine, we’ll put it to a vote…” he looks around the table and the others squirm under his gaze, “right, everyone in favour of y/n’s boyfriend joining the next Hellfire session, raise your hand.”

Everyone at the table raises their hands, except you, Chrissy and Eddie, he continues with a sigh “…ok looks like he can join, but just this once.”

Dustin tries to lighten the mood, “Come on Eddie, don’t you wanna meet y/n’s new boyfriend?”

Unfortunately, that was the wrong thing to say, Eddie scoffs in response, “What difference would that make to me? He’d still be some intruder to our game.”

Gareth speaks up on your behalf, “Come on don’t be like that man, just be glad we’re getting y/n back and we’ll get to see who’s been making her so happy lately.”

“Yeah, sure whatever…” he turns to Chrissy suddenly, “Hey, sweetheart… would you like to come to the next session too?”

She offers an apologetic smile, “Uhh… no sorry babe, you know I’m not really into that stuff… but you guys have fun.”

She turns to you, “Hope your boyfriend enjoys it too.”

You try to match her cheerful demeanour without sounding sarcastic, “Yeah hopefully once he sees it, he’ll get just why I love it so much.”

There’s a heavy tension that hangs in the air for the rest of the lunch break, you keep your involvement in conversation to a minimum and finally breathe a sigh of relief once the bell rings.

You sit in Jason’s car twisting your hands nervously in your lap, “So you ready for this?”

He places a hand over yours, “Relax, it will be fine.”

“And you can promise you’ll be nice to everyone, and I mean everyone?”

“Yes, I won’t like it, but yes.”

“Thank you. And remember to keep an open mind, don’t just judge the game immediately because of what you’ve been told to think of it… please?”

“Ok, I’ll try.”

“Thank you.”

“Well, you ready to go in?”

“Now or fucking never, I guess. Hopefully we’ve done enough that it’ll convince everyone we’re a ‘happy couple’.”

“Yeah, come on.”

You hesitate again when you get to the drama room door, but he gives you a little nudge and you open it.

Everyone’s already seated at the table chatting animatedly, you call out to get their attention, “Um hey, everyone… sorry if we’re a little late-”

You’re met by flabbergasted stares and slack jaws when they turn to see you, arm in arm with Jason Carver.

Eddie is the first to speak, face set into a deep scowl, “Uh what the fuck is this, what is he doing here?”

“You guys said it was ok to bring my boyfriend. I said I was sorry for being late, but come on it’s only by a couple minutes.”

“Can I have a word with you outside?” Eddie storms over to you grabbing your arm harshly and leading you out the door, not waiting for a response.

“What the fuck was that in there? You’re dating Carver? The guy you’ve been dating… is fucking Jason Carver?!”

“Yeah… and? What’s it matter to you?”

“It matters because you’re my best friend and it’s fucking Jason Carver… you’re dating him after everything he did to me… to us?”

“Yeah well, you’re dating Chrissy what the fuck is up with that?”

“That’s different, don’t bring her into this.”

“Why? Why shouldn’t I huh? Some best friend you are, as soon as some pretty little blond shows you a smidge of attention it’s like I don’t even exist.”

“Just ugh… why did it have to be him?”

“Why did it have to be her?!”

“You can’t just throw my question back at me, at least Chrissy wasn’t the one going around calling us freaks and making our lives miserable.”

“Yeah, not like she stopped it either. And really Mr Nonconformity, you’re gonna go for the basic ass cheerleader? Way to break the mould. Really, I applaud you on that one, you’re definitely not just like every other teen boy here. All hard up over a girl in a short skirt doing her little rah-rah school spirit bullshit.”

“Chrissy is NOT like that!”

“Oh yeah, I’m sure.”

“And I could say the same about you, dating Mr Meathead Jock… that’s not any better now, is it?”

“Whatever, screw you.” You turn to go back inside.

“Screw me, no hey don’t walk away from me.” He grabs your arm again.

“Eddie, just stop.” You shoot him an angry look.

“Have you fucked him?” He hisses through clenched teeth.

“What?!” You can’t believe he just said that, where the hell did that come from.

“I said have you fucked him? He would be your first if you had, wouldn’t he?” He repeats, his tone bitter.

“That is none of your fucking business and don’t act like you haven’t slept with Chrissy.”

“Actually, I haven’t. She said she wants to take things slow and I respect that. Says she wants to wait til marriage and all that.”

“Yeah, that’s not how Jason tells it and he would know he’s actually slept with her. You sure she even really loves you? You sure you’re not just some rebound destined to fail?” You retaliate.

“What the fuck? When did you get so fucking bitchy, or is that just what taking Carver’s dick does?”

Before you know what you’re even doing you’ve reared your hand slapping him across the face sharply.

“Why don’t you ask your girlfriend what taking Jason’s dick does? She would know after all.” It’s a low blow, you regret it as soon as the words leave your lips. Regret almost everything you’ve said to him, especially when you see the look in his eyes, but it’s too late now.

It’s then that Jason pokes his head out of the doorway, “Hey…. ahhh, you guys, ok? You’ve been gone a while… the others sent me out to check on you…”

You turn to him, “We’re leaving, come on let’s go babe.”

“But I thought-”

“Yeah, never-mind…” you turn back to Eddie, who’s standing there shellshocked cradling his cheek, “I quit Hellfire by the way, see you fucking never Munson.”

You grab Jason’s arm dragging him along with you, willing yourself not to cry, just hold it in at least until you get outside, just make it outside.

When you do reach the front doors of the school you break, tears streaming down your face, sobbing.

Jason turns you to face him, “What happened? What did he do?”

“Fuck off Jason as if you actually care, there’s no one here to see it, just leave it alone, ok.”

He grabs both your shoulders, looking into your teary eyes, you turn you head away, “I do care though, what happened?”

“We had a fight obviously… this stupid fucking plan isn’t working. I told you it wouldn’t and now I’ve just lost my best fucking friend. I really fucking hate you, did I ever mention that?”

He cuts you off with a fierce kiss, you push him off of you, “What the fuck was that for?!”

“I dunno I kinda like you I guess…” He shrugs.

“Oh, no fuck off with that, I know you’re still in love with Chrissy. No one was here to see that, so what was it about really?”

“I do kind of like you though, not like Chrissy, different from that and I do still love her, but… what if we tried to make this work for real? What if those two never realise how we feel about them and it never works out?”

“No. I’m not going to be someone’s consolation prize or whatever. I don’t care if you don’t get Chrissy back, you can find someone else… maybe just be less of a ‘meathead jock’ and it’ll work out for you. Let someone see the real you for a change, the guy that reads and takes a girl out for silly little dates and cares about something other than himself.”

“Yeah, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have… you’re not a ‘consolation prize’ and you do deserve better too. Just forget about Munson… honestly, you’re better off without him.”

“Don’t know that I am… what do you want to do about this now then? Do we still ‘fake date’? Try to get Chrissy back for you, even if Eddie won’t have anything to do with me now?”

“What do you want?”

“I don’t know, I guess… I want at least one of us to get something from this, otherwise it’s all been for nothing.”

“Well, it wouldn’t be for nothing really, I mean we never would have spent time together… reconciled our differences, if it weren’t for this. You could say we’re friends now at least.”

“Yeah, I guess… and I’m gonna need a friend, just kinda lost all of mine back there in one fell swoop.” You give him a bitter, teary-eyed grin.

“Ok, so let’s do that, we continue this ‘fake dating’ thing for a bit longer, see if Chrissy will come around. If not, I’ll be here for you as a friend either way, agreed?”

“Yes… as long as you never try to kiss me like that in private again, seriously what the fuck was that?”

“I know, I’m sorry.”

Fate really had a way of shoving it your face. Before when you were with Carver, you’d never seen Eddie and Chrissy around, but now it seemed like everywhere you looked Eddie was there glaring at you. You couldn’t take it, jealousy would have been fine… but this hatred that came pouring off him in waves was like torture.

Jason could see your discomfort, your pain, he asked you multiple times if you were still ok with this plan. You powered through, one of you should end up happy from all this, right? You still couldn’t believe that in all of this Jason Carver was the one to console you, if someone would have told you that just a few weeks ago, you would’ve laughed in their face.

The rest of Hellfire give you a wide berth, but still offer little smiles in your direction when you pass them… only when Eddie isn’t around though. You wonder what he would have told them, you’re sure he can’t have painted you in a very good light, but it was too late for you to try to explain yourself to them.

That’s how you found yourself on a Saturday night, curled up on Jason’s bed watching Friday the 13th: A New Beginning. It had just come out on VHS and Jason suggested the two of you watch it to get your mind off things for a bit. He had begun to warm up to horror movies in general, still not a major fan but he enjoyed it more now… your influence maybe?

Meanwhile, Chrissy had made her way to Eddie’s trailer, with a heavy conscious. She raises her hand to knock against the door, when it opens and she jumps back slightly.

“Oh, Chrissy hey… didn’t mean to scare you. I was just on my way to see you.”

“Uh… yeah, could we go inside and talk for a bit?”

“Sure, sure come in.” He steps aside, ushering her in with a sweeping gesture.

They both stand there awkwardly, before Eddie says, “What did you want to talk about?”

She hesitates and he moves towards the couch, urging her to join him, “Come on take a seat and tell me what you need.”

She makes her way over, tentatively perching on the edge of the couch.

“So…?” Eddie prompts her.

“Ummm… there’s no real easy way to say this, but umm… I think… I think we should end things Eddie.”

“Wh-Why do you say that?” He asks nervously, he had actually been planning to go see her to break things off, maybe this’d give him an out.

“Come on isn’t it obvious? Everyone knows you have feelings for y/n. It’s even clearer now that she’s dating Jason… and I… I don’t know… I think I still have feelings for Jason too.” She hangs her head in shame.

“What? I don’t have feelings for y/n… I’m with you, why would you say that?” He splutters, unconvincingly.

“So, you’re just not going to acknowledge that I have feelings for Jason?” She huffs looking back at him.

“Well, uh… fuck… I don’t know… did you ever have feelings for me?”

“Yes… just… just not like I do for Jason. Look you helped me through a really rough time and I am grateful for that… but I don’t love you.”

He sighs, “Yeah uhhh… I-I don’t love you either… I know how bad it sounds, and I do care about you… but I think it was ‘cause you were the first girl to ever show me any interest.”

“What about y/n?”

“What about her?”

“You have feelings for her, don’t try to deny it.”

“Ok fine, I have feelings for y/n… what difference does that make? We’re just friends… fuck not even that anymore. And she’s with Jason fucking Carver, of all the fucking people she had to choose from, she picked him.” He turns away angrily, hot tears prick at his eyes.

“Jason’s not that bad of a guy really, but what if we did something to… break them up?”

“Wh-what? Why? What would that even achieve… they’re happy with each other, I can’t take that away from her… and for what? She’s not even speaking to me, won’t even look at me, it’s not like she’d come running into my arms if things ended between them.” Tears have begun to run down his cheeks, he swipes at them angrily.

“Eddie… look at me.” She implores.

He does so and she continues, “You must be fucking blind not to see that she is in love with you.”

“What are you talking about?” He hiccups out.

“Y/n, she is sooo head over heels for you, Jason even picked up on it when we were ten for Christ’s sake.”

“No, that was just some dumb joke Carver used to taunt me.”

“Are you fucking kidding me right now? She loves you, you love her…” She reinforces before adding quietly “…I love Jason.”

“Then what are we even fucking doing together in the first place?”

“I don’t know, you were there for me and things just kinda happened…”

“Ok, so what do we do now?”

“Well… I mean we are over, right? I mean we can still be friends if you want, you are a great guy Eddie, I hope you know that.”

“Yeah… uh friends, I don’t know, we’ll see about that, but thank you. Do we have to break them up though… not that I’m happy seeing her with him, but can’t we just each talk to them tell them how we really feel?”

“I mean, I guess. It would be the nicer thing to do. Do you think you could handle it though, you’ve had all this time to tell her before, why haven’t you?”

“I just couldn’t… if things went wrong, I couldn’t lose her, but now… now she already hates me. She’s already lost to me, so what’s the harm in telling her now… not like she could hate me any more than she already does. I said some horrible things to her Chrissy…” He hangs his head, pressing his palms into his eyes.

She rubs a hand over his shoulder, “Hey, if things don’t work out, I’m here for you, ok?”

“Th-thank you. Should… should we go to them now?”

“You wanna go right now?”

“Yeah, I… I don’t wanna wait ‘til whenever we see them next.”

“Ok… alright, I guess right now it is.” She stands brushing down her skirt.

Eddie stands as well moving to the door, “Did you drive here?”

“Uhh… no, I walked.”

“You what?! In the middle of the night, you walked to the trailer park? Why?” He asks incredulously.

“Umm… my brother had the car tonight.” She shrugs.

“Then why did you come?”

“I just… it couldn’t wait, it was eating me up inside. I had to get it out. Besides the exercise will do me good.”

“Don’t. Don’t start with that. You could have called you know, if you didn’t want to say it over the phone I coulda picked you up at least.”

“Well, too late now… you wanna give me a lift to Jason’s? Then you can head off to y/n’s.”

“Yeah, of course. Come on.” He grabs his keys and escorts her to the van.

You had begun dozing off against Jason’s shoulder, when the ring of the doorbell rouses you suddenly. Jason looks down at you confused, before extracting himself by your side, he leaves the movie running while he goes to answer the door.

He sees Chrissy standing there bouncing on the balls of her feet, warming her hands with her breath, he then notices Eddie sitting in the van parked in his driveway glaring daggers at him. He turns back to Chrissy, “Uh, hey what are you doing here? You wanna come in for a bit, you must be cold?”

“Uh no that’s ok, this won’t take long… I just… I had to say… I still love you, Jason.”

“What about Eddie?” He glances over at him.

It was the first time he’d ever actually said the guy’s given name, first time he didn’t have to pause before he said it, first time he’d ever referred to him without any malice in his voice.

“We just broke up, it… it was never going to work between us. He’s in love with y/n… you know that.”

“Ok… so what’s he going to do then?” He looks over her shoulder again back at Eddie.

“Well, he’s going to tell her too. Right after whatever happens here… waiting to give me a lift if I need it.”

“Well, she’s here right now so…”

“Oh, um… I guess both of us should go then? Right, we’ve like interrupted date night or something?” She turns to leave, he stops her with a hand on her shoulder.

“No.”

She turns back, “What do you mean ‘no’?”

“I… I want you back. Have since the moment you left.”

“What… what about y/n?”

“She’ll understand… trust me. And you said Eddie wanted to see her… tell him to come in.”

“Are you sure about that… I don’t really see that going too well.”

“Yeah, I’m sure. Just uh… tell him to be on his best behaviour, ok?”

Chrissy makes her way back to the van, when she reaches the driver-side door, Eddie rolls down the window.

“Well?” He asks expectantly.

“It uh… went well, I guess. Um y/n is here now. Jason said you should come in and talk to her.”

“She’s here now, fuck I should have guessed as much… I mean, why wouldn’t she be with her boyfriend on a Saturday night? Jesus, I’m a fucking idiot. What am I doing?” He palms at his forehead in frustration.

“Did you not hear me, I said it’s going well.”

“What do you mean?”

“Jason is going to take me back. Y/n is going to be single and he’s invited you in to talk to her. That’s something right?”

“Inside his house… ha what so he can see me crash and burn, so they can both laugh at me, while she crushes my heart?”

“Don’t be so dramatic, just give it a chance.”

“You really think it’ll go well?”

“Yes. Now get out of the damn van and get inside.”

When he gets to the door, Jason greets him stiffly, “Munson.”

Eddie narrows his eyes at him suspiciously, “Carver.”

“I should… I should probably tell you guys something first. Umm… y/n and I dating was never real… I uhh, I wanted to make Chrissy jealous. Jealous enough that she’d take me back so I got y/n to help me.”

“What? Why would she even agree to that?” Eddie face sets into a frown.

“Well, the agreement was that from the moment, our little thing started from there on out I’d have to be nicer to you…” he nods in his direction, “and to all the other Hellfire members.”

“That seems kinda dumb.”

“Well, it was she thought so too, but I guess she thought it was worth it to protect her friends?” He shrugs.

“So, you gonna go up and talk to her? Sort your own shit out, while the two of us,” He gestures between himself and Chrissy, “can work our shit out too.”

“Uh, yeah sure. Which way am I goin’?” He eyes him suspiciously.

“Just up the stairs, first door on the left. We were just watching a movie.”

Eddie nods and makes his way upstairs.

He opens the door with a shaky, sweaty hand.

“Jason, who was at the door? What took so long?” You ask without looking away from the screen, snuggled down into the covers.

“Uhhh… not Jason…” He stands there awkwardly rubbing at the back of his neck, the sound of his voice surprises you, head snapping towards him.

“Eddie, what the fuck are you doing here? Why the fuck did Jason let you in?”

“We need to talk.”

“Yeah, save it. I don’t need any more judgemental bullshit from you… can’t stand to see the way you look at me now… so full of hate.” Tears spring to life in your eyes, you turn away from him.

“No, it’s not like that. Do you really think Jason would let me in if I was here to do that… on that note, I am soooo sorry for what I said to you that day. Words cannot express how sorry I am.”

You can’t bring yourself to look at him as you remember the harsh words the two of you had exchanged, guilt sweeping over you, “I-I’m sorry too, I didn’t mean the shit I said to you… it’s just you really hurt me, and I know that’s no excuse but…”

“No, I get it, I get it… I was just lashing out because I was hurt too.”

“I know… I should have known that dating Jason would hurt you I just…”

“You wanted to make Chrissy jealous? For him? So, they could get back together”

“What… how…?”

“Jason. Jason told me. Told me how it was all his idea, that the only reason you even went along with his dumbass plan was so he’d be nicer to me and the other Hellfire guys. It worked by the way, they’re both downstairs talking it out.”

“Shit… I’m sorry that was a really fucking shitty thing for me to do. I’m sorry you lost your girlfriend.”

“Don’t be, it worked out for me too.”

“What does that mean?”

“Well, I didn’t really love her… I love you.”

“Don’t.”

“Wh-what?”

“Don’t. You don’t mean that. Did Jason say something? Did he tell you how I feel about you?”

“H-how you feel about me? Y/n, how do you feel about me?” His heart palpitates, his palms sweat even more.

“Don’t play dumb Munson, I… I love you. I’ve loved you for as long as I can fucking remember…”

He interrupts you with a fervent, teary kiss. You hesitate a moment before reciprocating, melting into his touch.

You break away from him suddenly, “What are you doing Eddie? Why now? I don’t want to just be your rebound while you get over Chrissy.”

“Jesus, I forget how stubborn you can be. I. Don’t. Care. About. Chrissy. I love you. I’ve always loved you… don’t you get that?”

“You’re serious?”

“Of course, I’m fucking serious! Now kiss me again.” He demands.

You pull him back in for another kiss, then all at once you realise where you are. Kissing Eddie in Jason Carver’s bed and you pull away again.

“Um… sorry Eds, but I don’t think we should be doing this here.”

“Oh shit, you’re right.” He giggles, “You want me to take you home? Or we could go to my place if you’d prefer? I’ve got the van downstairs and I think Chrissy will be ok to stay here.”

“Yeah… your… your place sounds good.”

You make your way downstairs to find Jason and Chrissy making out in the hall, you grin and clear your throat.

They snap apart, Chrissy looks away bashfully as Jason looks over to you, “So, how’d it go?” he asks, more towards you.

“It uh… it went well. I’m guessing it went well for you two as well?”

He nods, “Did you two…” he gestures between Eddie and yourself, “… did you tell each other how you feel?”

“Yes, we did.” Eddie answers firmly, “And we’ll be going now.”

He looks to over to her, “You gonna be ok to stay here, Chrissy?”

She nods, looking up at the pair of you, “Yeah, I’m good. I’ll see you guys around I guess.”

“Yeah sure. Let’s… let’s head out y/n. Leave these two to their… reunion.” He smirks.

You nod and follow him to his van.

Seated beside him, his brash music playing softly in the background “So, I guess all of that worked out in the end, huh?”

He grins at you, “It did… in like a weird, roundabout kind of way.” His face twists into a grimace, “Does this mean I should be thanking Carver?”

“Maybe not that far, but I think he’ll be more civil towards you from now on at least.” You shrug. “Anyway, lets get back to your place, so we can have some more fun.”

“Oh, geez… hang on we’ll be there in no time.”

You laugh at his response, “Well someone’s eager.”

“Yeah, yeah we got a lot of lost time to make up for you know.” He waves a hand in your direction.

Before you know it, you’re back in his trailer, Wayne still isn’t home, not due back for another couple hours.

Eddie ushers you inside overly excited, his motions remind you of a puppy, bounding along, looking back at you over his shoulder.

“You wanna… go to my bedroom?” He asks voice laden with purpose.

It wouldn’t be the first time you’d been in his room, nowhere near it, but the air was heavy with expectation tonight.

He continues a little rushed, “We don’t have to do anything, especially if you’re not one hundred percent comfortable with it-”

You cut him off, “Eddie, relax I’ve been in your bedroom a thousand times it’s no big deal… and I do want to kiss some more… if that’s ok with you?”

“Oh, sweetheart that is more than ok with me.”

“Yeah? Let’s go then.”

He grabs your arm, pulling you along all the way. He practically launches himself at the bed and you tumble along after him giggling.

“I’m not going anywhere you know, you don’t have to fall over yourself to get here.”

“Promise you’re not going anywhere?” He pouts up at you, looking at you with those big brown eyes.

“I promise. Now kiss me Munson, like you mean it.”

He dives in kissing you clumsily, messily, but you don’t mind because it’s Eddie… after all this time pinning after him, you were here.

Your hands wander into his long curls as things begin to heat up. His hands begin to wander too, but he pulls away, “I-is this ok?” He gasps breathily.

“Perfect Eddie.” You grab one of his hands guiding it to your breast, “You can touch me wherever you want, ok?”

“You mean that? Like… really anywhere?”

“Absolutely.”

“This… this is your first time, right? I mean…” He trails off.

You know what he’s getting at, “Yes, it’s my first… nothing ever happened between Carver and me… it was never real.”

“And how far do you want to go tonight? ‘Cause I am more than fine keeping it just like this, we don’t have to do more…”

“Eds, relax honestly, look at me.” He looks deep into your eyes, and you proceed, “I am ready to give you anything you want tonight. If that means we go all the way, great. If that means we just lay here making out and groping that’s great too. Just know that I want you too.”

“I can’t believe this is actually happening.” He gasps.

“So, what do you want Eddie?”

“I want you, all of you… but I’m not… I’m not very experienced… I’ll try to make it good for you. Your first time should be…special-”

You press a finger to his lips halting his babble, “I know, and it will be special because it’s with you.”

“Fuck… ok, yeah…” He groans before capturing your lips with his own once more both yours and his eyes fluttering closed. His hands move to slip beneath your shirt and his calloused fingers fumble with the clasp of your bra for a moment before it releases.

He moves to the front of your chest, sliding his hands between the loose cups of your bra to cup your tits, squeezing them gently. When he rolls over one of your nipples you moan into his mouth. He matches the sound with one of his own, grinding his hips against your clothed core and you can feel the hard line of his cock.

You pull away from him, his lips follow yours for a moment, his eyes snap open searching for yours. You reach down gripping the hem of your shirt you pull it over your head, your bra follows along shortly after. He gapes at your bare chest and you giggle at his expression and tease, “Like what you see Munson?”

“Fuck you have the most perfect tits… can I… can I suck on them?”

“Remember, anything you want.” You answer.

He swoops in, ducking his head, tongue laving at your breasts occasionally pressing sloppy kisses to them. You move to straddle one of his legs, grinding down on it. He gasps against your skin. You tug on his shirt, “Can I see you too, please?”

“With pleasure.” He pulls away from your chest, hooking a hand into the bottom of his shirt, pulling it over his head and tossing it away blindly. You run your hands down his now exposed chest coming to rest at his belt-buckle, you look deep into his eyes, “Is this ok?”

“Yes, yes, god yes.” He whimpers.

You unbuckle his belt, undo the zip and slide his jeans down his thighs, eyes locking onto the bulge in his boxers.

You look back up at him, “You got condoms, right?”

“Absolutely, bedside table… by the ashtray.”

You clamber off of him pulling down your pants as you go, you can hear Eddie ridding himself of his own jeans completely. You spot the dusty blue box and pluck it out of the clutter moving back to the bed.

You look at him, both of you left in nothing but your underwear. You hand him the box and he sets it down beside him, “Sweetheart, you’re going to need a little more prep before we get into it.”

“What like… fingering and stuff?”

“Uh, yeah sure… um could I try… eating you out… I really, really like that…”

“Yeah… ok we can do that.” You agree shyly.

He beckons you over, “Lay down for me.”

You take a seat on the bed leaning back lengthways, resting against his pillow.

He crawls up to you, resumes kissing you slowly beginning to trail down your neck. Your eyes close and you whimper in response, he continues further down over your torso until he reaches the waistband of your panties. He pulls them down gently, easing them off of your legs and tossing them aside too.

“So pretty.” He mumbles to himself before diving in and pressing a kiss to your folds.

“So wet too.” He groans.

His tongue moves to lap up your juices and you gasp. He probes your entrance a few times with the tip of his tongue before running it all the way up to your clit. He grins against you when you jolt at the sensation, running a hand up your leg squeezing at your thigh before bringing it to join his tongue.

He spreads your slick over your folds, before slowly slipping two digits into your entrance. He crooks them against your spongy walls and you tangle your hands into his hair again gasping out his name. He groans against you and the vibrations are something else. Your hips rock against his face of their own accord.

You can feel yourself gushing over his fingers, a tension mounting somewhere deep in your belly as he stretches your slick walls with his hand. His other hand comes to press down on your stomach limiting the motion of your hips, but doubling the sensation.

Soon your legs are trembling either side of his head, you tug on his curls firmly. A tingly sensation spreads from your cunt to the extremities of your limbs. You call out his name again as you pulse on his fingers and flood his tongue with your release.

His fingers slip out while you’re coming down from your high and you release his locks. He looks up at you face slick with your juices and his drool, he makes no move to wipe it off. Just grins at you and asks, “Did you like that?”

You pant out, “Jesus fucking Christ Eddie, that was amazing… not experienced my ass.”

“What… I’m not.” He insists.

“Ok, if you say so… but goddamn that tongue of yours is good.”

He chuckles, “Thank you for the review, I appreciate the feedback.”

You slap his arm, “Ok, come on… you think I’m ready now?”

“Yeah… yeah let’s go.” He fumbles for the box of condoms. Pulling one out, he looks down at you, “Now, you are sure about this?”

“Oh my god, Eddie if you ask me one more time if I’m ‘sure about this’ I’m going to slap you in the fucking face… just fuck me already.”

“Ok message received loud and clear.” He surrenders.

He rolls his boxers down wriggling out of them, his flushed, weepy cock bounces out, bobbing between his legs. He tears open the condom and grips the length of his shaft. He lines up the condom with the head of his cock, moving to pinch the tip of it rolling it down over his length smoothly.

You watch every motion eagerly and he gives his length a few pumps with his hand before turning to you, you see him open his mouth to speak but you beat him to it, “I swear to god Munson if you ask one more time if I’m sure, that’s it…”

“I wasn’t, I swear… I was just going to say, I love you and I really hope I can make this feel good for you.”

“Aww, Eddie come here…” You pull him in by the back of his neck, kissing him in earnest and he reciprocates.

He pulls back, “Ok now let me just…” his little tongue pokes out between his teeth as he grips the base of his dick and runs the tip through your slippery folds a few times, fully focused on his motions.

He rests at your entrance, just pushing in ever so slightly before looking back to you, “You ready? It might… it might hurt a little, but I’ll go slow. Let me know if you need me to stop, ok?”

You hum in response, “Mhmmm… I’m ready... and I love you too Eddie.”

Slowly he eases himself into you, inch by inch, you grit your teeth against the slight burn. He drops a hand to circle your clit and the pleasure overtakes any pain. You whimper and moan, as he coos down at you thrusting shallowly, “Look at you taking me so well, such a good girl for me. That feel good?”

You nod biting your lip in an attempt to hold back your moans.

“Let me hear you sweetheart, please… wanna hear all the noises you make.”

You break at his words, whining, “God… fuck… Eddie, please more… faster or something, need more.”

He increases his pace one hand still circling your clit the other moving to grope your tits.

“Yes, fuck… just like that Eddie.” Your walls begin fluttering around him as he groans above you, sweat collecting on his brow, hair hanging in his face, panting loudly.

You writhe beneath him as you spasm on his cock, clamping down on him. His hips begin losing their rhythm and he growls, “Fuck… gonna cum… hngh… gonna cum for you.”

He stills, buried deep inside you and you feel him twitch and throb as he unloads into the condom.

He pulls out and rolls over, collapsing beside you gasping for breath. He removes the soiled condom tying it off and tossing it over the edge of the bed. He turns his head to look at you, breathing out, “Fuck that was good, did I mention I love you? How was it for you?”

You giggle, “Yes you’ve mentioned it multiple times now and it was good for me too, thank you Eddie.” You reach over and stroke his hair, he leans in to your touch.

“So, uh… what now?” He mumbles.

“Umm… I dunno we go out on a date I guess, the usual boyfriend/girlfriend stuff.” You shrug.

“We kinda did this a little backwards, you’re supposed to date before you have sex, right?”

“Well, I think in our case we can make an exception, don’t you?”

“Uh yeah, I’m not exactly complaining I just think it’s kinda funny.”

You giggle, “Yeah and all it took was us dating the completely wrong people for the wrong reasons.”

“It’s where we ended up that counts though. How about we clean up and you spend the night? I can give you some clothes to sleep in.”

“Sounds wonderful.” You grin back at him.

When Wayne gets home, he peeks his head into Eddie’s room to check on him, force of habit by now. He’s a little surprised to see you there, wrapped up with him under the covers all snuggled up. 

He decides to leave it til morning, talk to the pair of you properly then. He’d be lying if he said he didn’t see this coming, but he wasn’t sure when Eddie had broken things off with his other girl… or if he even had. He shakes his head, all questions for tomorrow, he needed sleep now too.

#eddie munson fic #eddie munson smut #eddie munson angst #eddie x reader #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x y/n #eddie x y/n #bestfriend!eddie x reader #eddie x virgin!reader #bestfriend!eddie x virgin!reader #fake dating #fake jason x reader #mentions of eddie x chrissy #anon request #request fill

[matchadobo]

KIDD; babysitter

wc: 3462 summary: reuniting with the kid you're babysitting after nine years certainly went the way you didn't expect it to warning/s: nsfw, fem reader, p0rnp0rnp0rn, cute little kidd, actual s3x happens proceed with caution, faces1tting, p in v, no grooming don't worry they're all wholesome when kids during adults is spicy tho 😳

you used to babysit this little redhead when you were sixteen and he was nine. he always had this prominent scowl that contorted the serenity on his face. he had the palest skin you've ever seen, well at least back then, you haven't encountered anyone with the degree higher than that of his. he had the richest red in his hair, thick curls hanging at the sides of his chubby cheeks.

he wasn't a rowdy, loud kid. he was a mean fucking kid, but somehow, you two can get along in the long run. maybe it's because you weren't one to discipline him and just let him do his shit, only cleaning up if his parents would be close to come home.

but what pisses you off the most though is how he always comes home being the dirtiest rugrat on the neighborhood. what's weird about it is he doesn't even roll on the muddy roads nor play with other children, them children always says he was very mean to them. he always had a wrench in one hand a contraption he made in the other, it's one of the times where he voluntarily comes to you to show off the said contraption. you'd have the responsibility to clean him up in the bath afterward, begrudgingly.

it lasted only when you were eighteen, school was getting hectic and he was gradually growing up to not need a sitter. you two developed a bizarre relationship of unanimous silence and stay-in-your-business shit to have gone for two years. but what you've noticed in your second year is that he had grown distant; he avoided your eyes, he gets shy when you ask him about his 'contraption', he doesn't meet you as a rugrat no more, and he actually does the chores you mostly do. maybe he really is growing up, not really needing a sitter.

you buried those memories at the back of your head, nine years have passed and now you're on a stable business on your flower shop. the reason this surfaced from your memory is when you saw the owner of the new tattoo parlor that had been built just a week ago. he had the same rich shade of red for his curly, voluminous locks and somewhat rivaled the skin color of the kid you were babysitting. you normally don't pay him any mind, business is too busy. that is until, he visited your shop, seemingly buying something for his girlfriend.

"there any chance i could get somethin' more than a bouquet?" he raised a brow, leaning by the counter to get to your level while you count his change.

"sure, anything else you want, sir?" you smiled, returning his change. you could see the shift in the glint in his eyes when your fingers touched.

"a chance to take you out and give these to you." he gestured for the bouquet of tulips he was clutching on those monstrous biceps. you took a moment to process his statement, blushing intensely afterwards.

"i-i uh... am not really available for those." you avoided his gaze, he towered over you but he feels like he was getting closer. his metallic scent growing pungent.

he took a moment to study you, before sighing. "of course, i'm just across, yeah? stay adorable, mo ghràdh (my love)." he winked, leaving with the bouquet.

you sat down on your chair, knees failing from what just happened. an incredibly hot UNIT just asked you out?! and you were too dumb to refuse?! you had no choice but to forget about it, you weren't really one to date.

few weeks had passed and you seem to have forget about it, you try your best to not glance at the parlor each time the owner is out. you don't know why but something deep in you wants to avoid and refuse anything related to him.

"oh my god, name?!" an old woman who was still radiating despite her age greeted you from the entrance, you took a moment and furrowed your brows. only to recognize the woman who took you in as a sitter nine years ago.

it took a lot of catching up, talking about your life mostly. you two were laughing and sharing stories, until she mentioned her son that fucking owns the tattoo parlor across your shop. the reason why she's here is she wants to give a bouquet to his son, for a successful half year.

your face couldn't muster up the shock that shook you to your core. she had to ask if you were okay. later enough, she was so excited that she planned to have a dinner with her family with you to catch up. well, you were pretty close with them in those two years. it'd be pretty rude to refuse this time.

and that's why you're sitting in this affluent house with high ceilings and shiny floors, across the redhead you remembered as someone so tiny was now bigger than you. the motherfucker never took his eyes off you, eyes that meant something more than curiosity.

"he's waaayy bigger than me, it's crazy!" you replied to the mother, laughing to reduce your uneasiness.

"right?! kidd was so focused on bulking up he's bigger than all of us!" his mother joked, nudging his son.

"that's enough about me, mammy. i'm more curious about name here, mind humorin' us about yourself?" he set his utensils down, clasp his hands, elbows resting on the table, and rested his chin atop his fists as he stared you down.

"hm? you've become so assertive now, kidd. back then, you were quite shy, hm? moreso, mean. have that changed too?" you tried matching up to his forwardness, raising a brow and holding his gaze.

"wanna fuck around and find out?" he cocked a brow, eyes narrowing.

there was silence, it's as if the room dimmed and the only light that radiated was the one between the two of you as you two had a mini staring contest on who'd look away first. you can't help it either, his golden orbs were something else, it's hypnotizing.

"gosh, you two were just like this back then! always having little bickerings!" his mother laughed, shaking you both to reality that you two weren't alone. "i'll let you two catch up, i'll just clean up." you almost begged her to stay, you don't know how to survive a room alone with him.

"hey name, come to the pool with me." he stood up, sauntering across the plutocratic house. you obeyed.

"why? you're inviting me to swim?"

once you've reached the pool place, he turned around, awfully close. "why don't we recreate some memories, yeah?" a grin made its way to his tinted lips. he simultaneously walked backwards to the pool as he unbuttoned the shirt that was way too tight on him.

your heart almost stopped in your chest. you two used to swim together during his birthday, you and a few other homies of his. "kidd... we aren't kids anymore."

by the time you complained, he was already shirtless, a body of a fucking greek god. he was unbuttoning his pants, now only his boxers that highlighted something too fucking distracting saliva was stuck on your throat. "and? can't you fucking swim now?" he teased, snickering. he wasted no time in diving, some of the water splashing on you.

"now i'm all wet, thanks." you sarcastically remarked, flapping your arms to dry off. he resurfaced, hair beautifully slicked back. he ran his hand across his face to dry off some water before shaking his head a bit to dry off his hair. he laughed a little, looking up at you. "well, seems you really have to get in now."

"how is that a reason to swim?" you placed your hands on your waist.

"come here, i'll tell you." he got closer at the edge of the pool, motioning his hand to ask you to get closer.

"i know this trick, eustass! i won't fall for it!" you raised your hands in defense, backing away from the pool.

"not if i drag you here though." he got up from the pool by propelling himself with his arms. body dripping as he ran to you and scooped you up like you weigh nothing. "ain't this nostalgic? you were the one carrying me like a sack back then."

"w-what the fuck?! you're so wet let me down!" you hit his chest, wiggling in his grasp as he gets closer to the pool.

"aye." he dropped you by the pool, shortly joining you afterward.

you both resurfaced, you gasped for air as he got closer to you. "i see you became even more of an asshole." you ran your hand across your face to get rid of some water.

his canines tugged at his lip as he grinned. "and you became even more damn whiny."

you two laughed for a moment, leaning closer. you two stood closer, getting lost in each other's eyes as well as the current of the pool.

"your eyes got more... golden." you mused at him, alternating glances at his orbs. he grinned a little.

"yeah? your smile got brighter too, you know that?" you were about to mutter out an insult but you slipped at the inclined floor towards the deeper part of the pool from the sudden push of the water. if it weren't for kidd pulling you closer by your arm as his other hand fell on your waist under water to pull you faster, you would've drowned.

"f-fucking shit!" you cursed, clinging onto his chest. "g-get me out of here, fuck!" you drummed at his chest and he bursted into laughter.

he abided, walking you to the stairs. he fetched a towel for you, throwing it above your head as he wrapped one around his hips.

"just borrow mammy's clothes, bathroom's on the left." he instructed, rubbing the towel on your head vehemently.

"okay, you can stop fucking with me now, kidd." you moved away from him, cursing out his grin now that he'd ruined your hair.

you did as he said. scanning through the clothes after washing up. you threw on a summer romper and dried your hair with the towel, walking outside to get some water on the kitchen.

as you were about to close the fridge door, you saw kidd was waiting on the other side of the room. "jesus christ, i told you to stop fucking with me!" you stomped on the floor, fists clenched.

he smiled a little, walking towards you. "not my fault you're jumpy."

"no, you just like to fuck with me, that's it."

"not entirely wrong."

"what's the other half?"

"that i do want to fuck you."

you were about to laugh, only to realize the meaning behind his words. you looked at him with the reddest face and the widest eyes. "k-kidd?!"

"yeah? want me to say it again? little closer by your ear, perhaps?" he leaned down closer, scrunching his nose.

you moved away, fanning yourself. "i'm just gonna pretend i didn't hear that-"

he grabbed your wrist, pulling you closer. "hey, that's just being unfair. you heard me loud and clear, bòidheach (beautiful). your face is enough damn reason." he tapped your chin, grinning as he stared at the redness of your cheeks. "and i'm sure you know how i want this to go, hm?"

"n-no kidd, this- we're in your mother's house...!" you looked around, looking for signs of his mother.

"and? i suppose you're aware that this is my house too and i have my room upstairs. kitchen'll do though."

"n-no! what are you talking about?! how the fuck did you reach that point where you wanted to do that with me?" the irritation was evident in your voice but that bastard was enjoying the show.

"well," he placed a hand on the fridge's surface, his biceps flexing and the veins on the crook of his elbow become more prominent, you were so fucking distracted your cheeks we're quite literally on fire. "innocent lil crushes evolve to somethin' more when you put on mini fuckin' skirts and tight fuckin' dresses everyday, it's hard not to look when you're just across the damn street, aye?" he eyed you, focused on the view of your cleavage from above.

"stop gawking at me, you pervert...!" you covered your chest. "i am not sleeping with you, feels weird."

"look, name." he shifted his weight, now crossing his arms. he didn't miss the way your eyes focused on how the bulge in his muscles got tighter and bigger. "it seems that you've got the idea that i'm still the little boy that you used to take care of, yeah? lemme do somethin' about that, m'eudail (darling)." his gaze darkened, his hands brushed by your arms before it finally settled on your shoulders.

there was silence. he had that cocky smirk while you pressed your lips together, trying to contain yourself from exploding. he cleared his throat, spreading his arms in surrender. "alright, i won't pressure ya. but know that i'll be waitin' in my room, last room on the right corner of the fourth floor." he winked before leaving you, heating up like a goddamn bonfire.

you took a moment before sliding down and sitting yourself down on the floor. it seems so fucking enticing, he seems so fucking enticing. the way you always catch his golden eyes that was highlighted by that beautiful red fucking locks almost undressed you, the way his toned fucking abdomen peeked from his shirt each time he lifts his arms and you see a hint of that happy trail, and how his thighs looked so goddamn huge on his ripped jeans.

"fucking hell, kidd." you mumbled to yourself, tugging on your locks. it didn't took you long enough to finally come to terms with it. so you gave in. it's just one time, right?

you made your way to the series of floors, passing by family portraits and baby pictures. you giggled to yourself seeing lots of pictures of both of you. soon enough, you reached the tall black door that seemed too conspicous that it indeed belonged to him. you hesitated a little before knocking with shaking fists.

seconds after, he opened the door with his shirt off. you tried your best to not gawk at how built this man is. he leaned an arm on the door that was halfway open, a knowing smirk on his lips as he eyed you up and down once more.

"i know what you're going to say, but i will only agree for one. fucking. time." you gritted your teeth, getting closer and raising your index finger at him. he nodded like an asshole, smile never faltering.

he placed his hand on the upper door frame, simultaneously leaning down closer to you while holding your gaze. "sure, cupcake. let's see how long you can hold your tongue."

you narrowed your gaze and there was a little staring contest between the two of you. he moved a little when he saw you trying to squeeze yourself inside, laughing at how cute you are. once you were walking inside he spoke, "why the change of heart?" he shut the door, flicking the lock.

you took a look around his room, it was mostly dark and reds, of course. littered with band posters and a spray painted wall that seemed to be an original art by him. red led lights wrote his name at the top of his black, tufted headboard. "prove me wrong about earlier, i guess."

he got closer, arms gently prying your crossed arms off, and landing on the buttons of your dress. "right, let's get into it, yeah?"

once he unbuttoned all of it and you let him, you stood there as his hands rested on either sides of your bare waist. his hands were cold. you linked foreheads as you exchanged deep breaths from the contact. "your hands are cold." you muttered, his metallic perfume clouding your senses. "and you're fuckin' sweatin', princess." he complained at the small beads of sweat on your lower back.

his hands roamed down your cheeks, squeezing both with much fervor before giving it a smack. you flinched, hands landing on his chest. "asshole." he cocked a grin at your remark, squeezing tighter to pull your hips closer.

your hands roam the span of his chest, across his shoulders, and up to his neck. your fingers traced the edges of his face, up to his tinted lips. soon enough, he licked the tip of your fingers before biting the skin a little. "come here, give me a kiss. i know you wanna." he growled, hands traversing to where your bra clips where.

you ignored him but complied, pulling him down to your level and colliding your lips with his. boy, was it the wildest kiss you've ever experienced. he immediately slid his tongue inside, taking control of your mouth. he smiled through the kiss before biting your lower lip when he felt you hitching a breath and wrapping your arms around his neck. he swiftly carried you by your bum and wrapped your legs around his waist.

it didn't take long enough for both of all of your clothes to be on the floor and now you two are hungrily making out on his bed. you sat on top of his lap while he sat like a fucking king on his bed, leaning by the headboard as he played with your ass until it's red. he relishes on how your folds periodically rub across his length, how your tits bounced on his neck and chest, and how warm and good your body feels when he hugs it.

"sit on my face." he ordered, muttering through hot pants and wet kisses. you almost fell on his lap if it weren't for his grip on your hips.

"w-what?" your eyes widened and your cheeks flushed, as if you weren't naked with him doing unholy things.

"you heard me, lovely." his eyes darkened, smile growing. "i'll fuckin' drag you here if i have to."

so you did, you weren't sure how to position yourself, it was your first time sitting on someone. so you carried yourself a little, afraid of suffocating him.

"baby," he peeked after giving one languid lick on your crevice. "when i tell you to sit on my face, sit. fucking. down." he pulled your hips down, both hands settled on your thighs as you completely took over his face.

oh, he took his time alright. slurping, sucking, and biting while he bullies your ass. you had to get a hold of the headboard because of how this goddamn animal devours you. "s-slow d-down- fuck!" you almost squealed, pulling on his hair. you felt him smile through your lips.

you were worn out afterward, overstimulated and he haven't even used his length. he gave you kiss on the cheek before pumping his length, "i-i don't think it'll fit..."

he bursted into laughter, "you're too fuckin' adorable, come here." he pulled you closer by the neck. "i'll make sure you'll beg for it later, don't worry."

and the bastard really did make you beg for it. he's got you pinned down between his arms with you back facing him as he rams you from behind. the repeated contact of your skin resounded around the four walls of his room. your chin was buried down his black pillows that scented so much like him it made you go even more crazy, your eyes were rolling at the back of your head as you utter out slurred curse words, drunk on his dick. he was fucking prying your walls open. his length was too girthy and huge. he always makes it a mission to reach your cervix with each thrust. you fisted the sheets, going crazy with each movement of his hips.

he leaned down and bit on your shoulder before licking on your ear. "enjoying yourself a little too much? you're way too fuckin' loud there, not that i'm complainin'. just hold on a little, i'm close." he gave the top of your head a kiss before returning back to his position, raising your ass up to have a sturdy grip and a harder thrust.

"i-i'm cumming," you slurred between your moans, toes curling and thighs shivering. and not too long after, you both came in unison, panting and whining against each other as he leaned his forehead on your shoulder.

"still a little boy?"

"shut the fuck up, you came all over me."

"why don't we clean up like you used to do to me, yeah?"

"you'll fuck me again in the bath, i'd rather not."

feeding y'all :>

#anime #manga #one piece #eustass kidd #one piece headcanons #one piece x reader #eustass kid #eustass kidd x oc #eustass kid x reader #one piece eustass kid #eustass captain kidd #eustasscaptainkid #eustass x reader #eustass kidd x reader #eustass kidd x you #eustass kidd x y/n #eustass kidd headcanons #eustass kid x y/n #eustass kid x you #eustass kid headcanons #one piece x female reader #one piece x y/n #one piece x you #one piece scenarios

[wardenparker]

Vampire Waltz - ch 12

Max Phillips x female reader Co-written with @absurdthirst

A mysterious inheritance, sprawling mansion, eccentric roommates, friendly bat, and coven of New England witches are the newest chapter of your life after being unceremoniously dumped and kicked out by your boyfriend. For Max, the biggest change in his life is you, and what exactly he's going to do about the fact that he is stuck living with you as long as his sire continues to punish him for that incident at his last office...

Rating: E for Explicit! 18+ Word Count: 9.8k Warnings: *Blanket warnings for this series: deceased parents, cursing, food, blood and blood drinking, depictions and references to abusive relationships. Anxiety and trauma responses. Self-worth issues.* References to menstruation, heavy flirting, talk of blood drinking, oral sex (female receiving). Summary: A budding friendship with your young mother gives you plenty of things to think over, but it's your relationship with Max that is growing the most. Notes: We are name dropping Gilded Age families and embracing our newfound historical fiction genre, folx! Please enjoy a photo of Dolly's teahouse as it exists today in 2023 as your weekly photo ❤ Apologies for any errors that I might have missed. I am a very sleepy girl after a week of seasonal chaos at work.

Ch 1 ~ Ch 2 ~ Ch 3 ~ Ch 4 ~ Ch 5 ~ Ch 6 ~ Ch 7 ~ Ch 8 ~ Ch 9 ~ Ch 10 ~ Ch 11

If yesterday's adventure to the dressmaker showed you anything, it was that the simple act of dressing and undressing in this time was going to be an adventure. Snagging a newspaper from a hollering newsboy on the street corner had told you that you were in 1885, and now – on your second day in October 1885 – the reality is setting in. Renee came upstairs to you after lunch to help you change in a walking dress, and while you didn't protest it did seem extremely unnecessary until you remembered that yesterday the skirts of your dress had dragged through the dirt for three blocks in downtown Newport. A walking dress, apparently, has a shorter skirt and no train. Which means no dragging in the dirt while you walk. And suddenly the seemingly ridiculous amounts of times that Gilded Age ladies changed their clothing during the day begins to make more sense: simply changing the outer shell of your outfit makes it 'suitable' for many different activities. It's still a little ridiculous, but less so than you had thought only yesterday.

"Renee, would you make sure that Mrs. Phillips is still available for our walk?" Annie asks as the maid helps her tie the laces in her stays before she slides the skirt over her head. She's been looking forward to this walk since yesterday, hoping to have some time to speak to another woman closer to her age that is not her mother about the budding relationship with Emmanuel. A newly made bride would understand, especially since they eloped.

“Of course, miss.” Renee helps Annie into the bodice that matches the skirt she has just put on, carefully looking each button in the back to ensure her mistress is comfortably and appropriately attired. She can leave Miss Annie to choose her own hat and jewelry as she wishes and curtsies politely before going upstairs.

******

“So…nice little outing planned with Annie.” Max ventures as he watches you carefully arrange your hair like Renee had shown you. You’re beautiful and it seems like this time only magnifies that. Or maybe it’s because there’s fewer distractions around him. “Are you nervous?”

“Terrified.” Frowning heavily at the mirror as you try to get this hairdo right, you glance up and to the side where Max is sitting a few feet away watching you. “I haven’t spent time alone with my mother since I was eighteen. And this…she is that person but isn’t that person at the same time. At this point I’m just thrilled we’re only walking the grounds and not in town.” Even though the grounds of Chateau-sur-Mer are much larger in this time, it’s still a relief. These are safe, secluded acres. The only people you’ll run into are your grandparents or their staff.

“Remember that even if she’s not the mother you knew, she’s the woman that will become your mother. It will be an interesting comparison.” Max offers.

“You know how much she loved the curried lamb we had for dinner last night?” The spectacular crown roast that Mrs. Taylor had presented was slightly different in looks than the roasted legs of the same animal that your mother had done when you were a kid, but the taste was deliciously nostalgic. “That was her recipe. That I remembered from being a kid.”

“That’s something of a paradox.” Max snorts. “You bring back the favored family recipe and in turn, it’s passed down to you.” You were right, time travel is weird.

“Time travel is bizarre.” You whisper, barely speaking for being aware of the possibility of being overheard.

“You’re telling me.” Max snorts, shuffling behind you and putting his cool hands on your shoulders. “I have some business with 'John'.” He tells you with a wry grin. “But I will be back soon and want to hear everything about your walk.”

“It’s so weird.” A small smirk tucks into the corner of your mouth. “I know neither of us has ever called him his real name, but calling him John just feels weird.”

“It’s like Rumpelstiltskin.” He jokes, finding the comparison hilarious.

“Maybe he is Rumplestiltskin,” you joke, sending the two of you into a fit of giggles just before a knock is heard at the door.

Renee waits for a moment before she enters the room. “Good morning Mr. and Mrs. Phillips, I hope your night was restful.” She nods respectfully and looks towards where you are sitting. “Miss Annie was inquiring if you were still free for the walk, Ma’am?”

“Of course, Renee.” You stand from sitting beside Max and smile, reassuring yourself that you can do this without punching a hole in the space-time continuum. “I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

“I will let Miss Annie know.” She nods politely and then turns around to exit the room just as quietly as she had entered.

“Thank you, Renee.” Blowing out a breath, you lean over to kiss Max and flash him a thumbs up that is far more forced than anything else. “Here goes nothing.”

“You will have an amazing time.” He predicts softly. “Knock ‘em dead, Tiger.”

“What happened to my little ketchup packet?” You tease, kissing him one more time before opening the bedroom door. “We’ll be around the grounds if you need us.”

“Enjoy your time, my dear.” In reality, Max would love to be there with you, but he knows you need this time alone with the one who would one day give birth to you. He watches your skirts swish down the hallways and he grins as he remembers dancing with you last night after dinner.

At the bottom of the stairs, Annie is repining her hat in place in a mirror, and you stop for a moment of peace to just admire your mother. Always beautiful and always extraordinarily competent, she even manages elegant self-sufficiency in the face of a society that tells her to sit down and keep her mouth shut. It’s hard to watch her being so happy with Emmanuel when you know what’s to come, but you had bitten your tongue last night while she talked about him at dinner and you’ll bite your tongue today too. Seeing her happy again, even for a little while, is enough.

“I find myself positively - what was the phrase Mr. Phillips used last nigh? ‘Raring to go’ this afternoon.” She seems quite pleased with her use of the phrase and takes one last look before she turns away from the mirror towards you. “Oh dear, did the modiste not have a hat for you yesterday?”

“I admit, I did not know which hats would be best, so I didn’t choose any.” This is probably a huge faux pas but you know less than nothing about late 19th century hats anyway. It seemed easier just to skip it. Max, on the other hand, had acquired both a top hat and a bowler with glee.

“Renee.” Annie calls out to the maid. “Please fetch my brown crushed velvet with the flowers?” She asks. “And the pins to secure it. I think that would look stunning with your dress.”

Renee is off like a shot before you can protest, and back again with hat and pins on hand just seconds later. It’s astonishing how fast the vampires in this household can move when they’re not trying to disguise their nature.

“Yes, I thought the flowers would match.” The pale pink and white of your walking dress match the flowers and the color of the brown velvet compliments your skin beautifully. “It will be perfect.”

“I bow to your superior taste.” And since it’s about the six hundredth time in your entire life that your mother has insisted that you put on a hat before going out the door, you don’t protest. All those other times had been talking about winter hats keeping you warm, but it’s the spirit of the thing. “You’re very generous.”

Once the pins are set and Annie has adjusted to her liking, she clicks her tongue. “You must keep it. My gift to you. It looks so much better on you than it does on me.”

“As I said. Generous.” She has always been generous, as along as you’ve known her, and you reach out to squeeze her shoulder gently. “Shall we?”

“It’s a beautiful afternoon.” Warm for the season but it plays into the atmosphere beautifully. No need to bundle up. “Although I believe we will have snow soon. Winter in Newport is divine.”

"I hear it piles up on rooftops like icing on cake." It was something that Allison had told you just a few days ago, and the mental image had just stayed in your mind. Living there and replaying for you over and over like a present. "I'm looking forward to it."

“What a charming comparison! It does!” She laughs, clear and bright in the afternoon sunshine and loops her arm through yours. “Perhaps we will sip tea and watch it pile up before we convince Emmanuel and your dear Max to take us out for a frolic in it. Mr. Taylor has sharpened the blades of the sleigh. So much better than a carriage in snow.”

"I'll have Max makes us cups of his hot chocolate," you offer, almost conspiratorially. "It's the best I've ever had and he won't tell me his secrets."

“Truly?” Her eyes sparkle with mischief. “So he enchanted you with his chocolate?”

"Amongst other things." The question brings heat to your cheeks immediately as you step out the door together. "I wasn't sure about him at first, but we found our way together quickly."

“It wasn’t love at first sight?” She asks, curious about it since you are soulmates. She had always assumed you just knew.

"Max can be a bit...full of himself," you admit with a laugh. "I thought he was very handsome, at first sight. If that counts for anything. We did not start to find our way together until we found a shared love of dancing."

“I must admit…” your mother bites her lip. “I spied on the two of you last night. You move to beautifully together.”

"Dancing is a passion that we share, and it is something I am very grateful for." That is probably an understatement, but you're not exactly going to explain competition ballroom to your semi-immortal mother in 1885. That's just...it's too much to even think about. "With the party tonight, I think there will be plenty of occasion for you to dance with him as well, if you like."

"I had hoped that you would allow me to have one dance with your husband." She admits. "Although, I will anxious be awaiting the reactions from all the dancers when they see the two of you dance."

"It will be nothing they have not seen before with so many other couples." If you're honest with yourself, you're trying to remember everything you can about traditional, historical dances instead of the modern competition dances. It isn't much, but you're pretty sure you can muddle through if you couple that with everything you can remember from watching BBC period dramas. "And Max will be very glad to dance with you. I promise it."

“Are you still enjoying the status of newlywed?” She asks, the pace of the walk nice and slow as the gravel crunches under your boots.

“I am.” Almost to your own surprise, considering it came out of nowhere in a letter from your abuela and then manifested almost immediately in life. You’ve actually found yourself wishing it was real. “Max is very attentive. And very sweet.”

The grin she shoots you is knowing. "I doubt a newly married husband is just sweet." She hums. "I think he would be passionate."

“There has not yet…been an opportunity to be passionate.” It spills out before you can really stop yourself, and instantly you have burning hot cheeks all over again. “The marriage was so recent, you see.”

“Oh- so you haven’t-“ her brows lift in surprise and she bites her lip in embarrassment. “My apologies for prying.”

"How could you have known?" It makes perfect sense to assume that a married couple has had sex in any time period. But you don't want to have to explain to your mother about your last ex or anything of the bruises that relationship left on your soul.

“Blast.” The curse comes out silently. “I was hoping to talk with another woman near my age.” She admits quietly.

“About…intimacy?” Even though this has the potential to become very awkward, you just can’t say no to her. Not to this young, excited version of your mother who is just beginning to learn about life.

“Not exactly intimacy.” She hedges slightly. “More how you knew Mr. Phillips was the one.” She confesses. “I feel like Emmanuel is my soulmate but I don’t know.”

“We share a mark.” In this specific way, you know you’re lucky. Having a birthmark meant nothing ever had to happen to you for you to find your soulmate. Some people in history have deliberately injured themselves in order to have scars. “He saw it on my skin and showed me his matching one. We were…quite lucky that it was that simple.”

“Is it….visible?” She asks, looking over your neck and hands. It’s not as if much skin is exposed to the public in your dresses.

“It was. In what I was wearing at that time.” Although, it does occur to you now that keeping your birthmark hidden from your mother might be wise. Otherwise she will put the pieces together later on. “It is very easy to cover, so it was unusual for it to be visible. But…a good thing. It ended up to be a very good thing.”

“I feel that Emmanuel is my soulmate.” She confesses with a hopeful sparkle in her eyes. “I cannot explain it, but my heart- it jumps when he kisses me.” It might be scandalous to admit that she allowed him to kiss her, but she so completely enthralled with him from the moment they met.

It might be cruel or just insensitive to point out to her that her physical response to the kiss could just be lust, especially since in this time you’re pretty sure ladies weren’t even supposed to kiss a man until they were engaged. “Do you have any marks of your own?” You ask instead, realizing that you actually can’t remember if your mother had any when you were a child. Those memories are still…unpleasantly hazy. Even when so many other memories are now crystal clear in your mind.

“No.” She shakes her head sadly. “None of my own. Because of my…parentage, my skin heals without blemish. I only have one scar on my leg from my soulmate, and it would be completely inappropriate to show it to Emmanuel.”

“Perhaps you could ask him if he has scars instead?” Filing away that tidbit of information in your mind, you note to yourself that it fully explains why you never seemed to get the typical scratches and scars of childhood that your friends all did. “If you feel that he could be your soulmate…” Which, of course, you know he is but you can’t say so. “It might be a way to bridge the topic. Privately, of course.”

“What a good idea!” She exclaims. “He would not think me too forward, you think?”

You can’t help but smirk, looking over at your mother and tilting your head in amusement. “I think if he has already kissed you more than once, then being too forward by asking a question is probably not on your list of concerns.”

“I- you are correct.” She bites her lip and looks worried. “He probably thinks that I am unsuitable. Being so free.”

“Or perhaps he thinks that you feel as passionately about him as he feels about you.” Not really willing to get into the whole restricted sexuality thing of this time period, you shrug. “It is not such a terrible thing to be passionate.”

“My parents have never thought so, but others are not so accepting.” She huffs, rolling her eyes at the way the world is.

“Then I find myself in firm agreement with your family.” Which isn’t odd at all, when you consider that they’re your family, too.

“They are considered progressives, if people really knew their thoughts.” She clutches your arm. “But my parents do not speak about politics in social settings.”

“I understand it is considered very impolite.” At least, you’re pretty sure you read that in a book once. You hang onto her as tightly as she hangs on to you as you walk together, strolling down the length of the grounds first. All the way down in the direction of what is now a rose garden.

“That doesn’t mean that some do not talk politics.” She snorts. “Plenty of men try to do business deals during the social gatherings.”

"Of course they do." Nothing about that surprises you, but the woman your mother is at this point in your life seems disappointed by it. "But that only makes it easier to pick out the sort of men who find it impossible to relax and enjoy themselves. And those are the type of men to avoid, in general."

“You are right.” She agrees. “Hopefully Emmanuel is not that type of man. He doesn’t seem to be, but I have not been to many social gatherings with him.”

“How long have you known him?” There are vague memories you have in your head of a story about your parents being soulmates, but it is old and faded and feels wrong. You know they weren’t, but at some point you believed otherwise. Pushing away the knowledge that this is the woman who put you under the spell that changed those exact memories, you refocus on your mother and her smile. It’s exactly the same as when you were little — bright like sunshine on a summer day.

“Two weeks.” She admits, slightly embarrassed by how fast her feeling developed for Emmanuel. “We met at the Season opening ball.”

“It took me no longer than that to realize what Max means to me.” It was significantly less, if you’re honest, but your story is a bit odd to tell. Not that you’re itching to tell anything of the sort right now. “They say that with soulmates, sometimes your heart knows right away.”

“I feel that way with Emmanuel.” She confesses. “If he is not my soulmate, I will be horribly embarrassed. Because my feelings for him are already so strong. Especially because he’s human.”

“Being human is not a crime or a personal failing,” you remind her with a hint of amusement in her voice. She has no idea that she’ll raise you in such a human way. The irony of the moment is thick. “He must know that you are different, doesn’t he? It seems…very important for him to know.”

“He knows.” She nods quickly. “He- it is very fortuitous that he does not mind. He actually was curious about my father’s nature.”

Curious. It will be that curiosity that dooms everything, but you have to swallow that knowledge and not say a word. “It is fortunate to find open minded people in the world,” you say instead.

“Yes.” She nods. “I know it must have been a shock for you when you realized your husband’s nature?”

“It certainly was.” That night in the sitting room is burned into your memory, and you don’t think it will ever leave no matter how long you live. “But I have never felt anything but safe with him. There are so many stories of men whose dispositions change when they are transformed. If that was true of Max, then it has been a change for the better.”

“How interesting.” She shakes her head. “I must admit, I do not meet many of my father’s other offspring. Not for many years.”

“I imagine it must be very different for you.” You observe carefully, not wanting to overstep in anyway. “To have so many sort of…step-siblings? In a way?”

“No.” She shakes her head and smiles softly. “They have been there before I was. I am jealous in a way.” She admits. “They share a bond I do not, with him. Will never share.”

“But you share a bond with your father that they never could, as well.” You point out, squeezing her arm gently as you walk. “I am sure some of them must be jealous of you for that same reason. To be his child through more than the sharing of blood is remarkable.”

“I have often wondered.” She admits. “Though I have no desire to be a vampire. It is bad enough I crave rare meats during my menses.”

The admission is enough to make you snort, and you cover your mouth to feign some kind of ladylike manners before all-out laughing behind your glove. “Forgive me,” you manage, barely getting back your composure after a few seconds. “I was just…not expecting you to say that. At all.”

She giggles herself, aware of how horribly inappropriate it was and she’s glad you aren’t uptight. “If you beg forgiveness then I must as well.” She hums.

“You have nothing to apologize for.” You promise her as your mutual laughter subsides. “I just never want you to think I’m laughing at you.”

“Even if you were, don’t friends laugh at each other?” She asks, still giggling.

“I suppose they do.” With her arm around yours it is a stark contrast to your childhood, but no less happy. She leans into your side as any close friend would and it makes you eternally glad that you fucked up that protection spell in such a way that it sent you straight back to your family. “Does that mean we are friends now?”

“I believe we are.” Annie decides with a grin. “We will be the best of friends.”

“I truly hope so.” At least, you think to yourself as you smile at her on your walk, for as long as it lasts.

“When I have a daughter, I will name her after you.” She decides with a pleased look on her face. “Dolly is a delightful name.”

“It…isn’t my given name.” Suddenly last night’s lamb recipe seems like nothing in the face of…becoming your own namesake. But still, you tell her your name. The name that appears on your birth certificate and all of those other things. “Dolly is…is what my family calls me.”

“You must think me so foolish.” She snorts, shaking her head. “Your proper name is gorgeous. I can see why your mother chose it. Was it a special name for her?”

“She—” As soon as it’s on the tip of your tongue you almost groan, realizing what the truth of the situation is. “She said it was her best friend’s name when she was young.”

Thinking about it for a moment, Annie sets her chin and nods. “Then I will carry on her tradition and use the name for my daughter.” She promises you. “You and Max can rest assured.”

“Then we should name our daughter Annie.” It was already in your head for the very clear reason that it was your mother’s name, but somehow making the pact with her like this is all the sweeter. “And we will carry each other together always.”

“So we shall.” The scenery in the gardens is nearly forgotten as you walk, arm in arm together. “I am looking forward to our trip on Emmanuel’s personal train car. Can you imagine? A car all to yourself?”

“Where do you wish to go?” It’s cool to you to be traveling in a real Pullman car for a completely different reason — what she views at the height of technology is something you’ve only read about in history books. “I’m sure he would agree to anywhere you choose.”

“Anywhere.” She say dreamily. Willing to go anywhere with her beau. “Do you have a particular destination in mind?”

“People speak so very highly of New York.” And in your own tone, you’ve enjoyed the city immensely. So much so that the idea of seeing it in the 1880s is nearly irresistible.

“Ohhh we should go!” She latches onto the idea immediately. “We can dine in the best restaurants and shop. Their modistes are amazing. Perhaps we can find something truly special for the ball.” She leans in conspiratorially, “I am hoping that Emmanuel proposes.”

“I would not be surprised if he did.” Wracking your mind, you can’t remember now if Yayo had said that your mother had been engaged or even married to her soulmate, but knowing what will eventually happen means you have to force a smile while your mother beams sunnily beside you. Unfortunately you’re sure it looks fake enough that it’s worth changing the subject. “But even if it does not come soon, the ball will still be lovely. Does your mother throw one at the same time each year?”

“Always.” She laughs. “Samhain was when mother and father met.” She explains. It is a special time of year for them.”

“It is something very special to celebrate, then.” In fact, you earmark the fact for yourself as well. That is why Mrs. Taylor jump so quickly in the idea of the coven having a Samhain masquerade. “They are very fortunate. To have such an enduring love story.”

“Yes.” She huffs a sigh and rolls her eyes. “But that means that a lot of expectation is placed on my shoulders too. Being their daughter.”

“You will have whatever story is best for you. Your life is your happiness, not theirs. Whatever they may think.” Realizing you e just given your mother advice — something which is probably definitely considering messing with history, you catch yourself and smile. “At least, that is what my dear friend says of her family.”

“It is my life.” She agrees. “So far, my life has been what they have wanted, but I cannot always please them and my own heart.”

“You will know when the time is right to become captain of your own ship.” You assure her, knowing full well that there will be multiple times in the future when it will be necessary. “But rushing towards it helps no one. Enjoy the time you have with someone else at the helm.”

“It is one of the reasons I have yet to marry.” She laughs slightly. “That and I wish to marry my soulmate.”

Clearing your throat slightly, you glance at her and consider for a moment that ultimately, she will end up losing Emmanuel. She’ll meet your father and That means that at some point, her view on soulmates will change. Or at least expand. “Soulmates are not the only good spouses in the world,” you venture. “My dearest friend at home…she has been blessed with deep love, but not with her soulmate.”

“I don’t disparage them.” She assures you, looking almost horrified that you might think that of her comment. “I just-“ she sighs. “I have heard mother and father’s story so many times, I wish to see what my own soulmate would be like.”

“My only wish is for your happiness.” The clarification feels necessary, as you walk through the chilly October afternoon. “However you may achieve it.”

“The same to you.” She promises. “Perhaps life will be picture perfect. No one can tell the future, not even my father.”

******

There is something to be said for the fact that the ‘ball’ your grandparents are throwing tonight is not, apparently, full scale. This is a dinner dance, of sorts. It isn’t four hundred people streaming all over the property — it’s one hundred and twenty guests precisely and they are all arriving to celebrate Annie’s birthday. When you were a kid, your mother’s birthday was the movie of her choice at the local theater and family dinner out, so this is…a remarkably bigger celebration. The guests begin arriving at ten o’clock, streaming into the house in their fine gowns and shimmering jewelry, and you and Max are trying so hard to catch names. Wetmore. Reed. Slater. Ives. Vanderbilt. Astor. Goelet. Hunt. Roosevelt. It’s all a whirlwind. When Emmanuel is announced, your mother glows and goes to him immediately, and you can see the expressions of approval on your grandparents’ faces. “Is it weird that I like him a lot?” You murmur to Max on the other side of the room. Cornelius Vanderbilt had just been shaking his hand and Max looks so puffed up and proud about it. “That’s not…betraying my father’s memory? Right?”

“It’s not, Queenie.” Max reassures you softly. “He’s a good man. I fuckin’ hate knowing what happens.”

"Me too." At least Max understands that. He feels it right along with you. "It doesn't help that they really seem to adore each other."

“That might be why it took so long to find your father.” He offers, not sure enough about Annie to believe that she would become loose by the day’s standards after destroying her soulmate. “I don’t know if I could ever find someone if I was in her shoes.”

“Good thing for you that I’m not going anywhere.” Squeezing his arm gently with one gloved hand, you smile up at Max softly. “You’re stuck with me, Mr. Phillips.”

“Mrs. Phillips.” He grins back down at you, getting a kick out of calling you by your supposedly married name. “How are you enjoying the dinner dance so far? This has to be every girl who watches Downtown Abby’s wet dream, right?”

“It’s pretty close to the top of the fantasy list,” you admit, warm and pliant under even the tease of being called Mrs. “Although, when we get back from New York we’re invited to a ball at Beechwood. And after touring all the mansions with Allison I’m kind of dying to be able to say we were on the Astor’s guest list.”

“As you should.” He hums. “He wants to talk with me about business. I can’t imagine the insight this man has.”

“William Backhouse Astor wants to talk business with you?” It’s not that you doubt Max in the least, but your eyes go wide in surprise. “And Cornelius Vanderbilt was just shaking your hand a second ago.” The grin on his face is so pleased that it’s borderline shit-eating and you stifle a laugh. “You’re loving the Gilded Age, aren’t you?”

“These are the fucking Bill Gates and Steve Jobs of the times, babe.” He snorts. “I’m over the damn moon. That MBA is paying off in spades.”

“I’ll have to figure out how to get us here deliberately and maybe we can visit from time to time.” He would love that, and you could see your family sometimes. It would be remarkable if it ever worked.

“You would love that. Pop back and visit your mom when you need that connection.” He’s not unaware that you feel different about having your mother as a friend, but you are also cherishing every moment you have with her.

“Maybe we can visit some of the Phillips clan, too. Track them down wherever it is they’re hiding in history.” He lost as much as you did but hasn’t had the blessing of a long-lost grandparent, and you want nothing more than for Max to have every single happiness that you have. To be able to share that with him.

Regret flashes in his eyes and he blinks it away. His shoulders lifting casually as he brushes off the hurt that his family had caused him. “Might be interesting. See how many skeletons are in the closet.”

“I didn’t mean to upset you.” The situation with Derek might be behind you now, but your shoulders still drop and your expression changes completely when you see the hurt in his eyes. If you could time travel instantly and change it so you said nothing at all, you would do it immediately.

“You didn’t upset me.” Max promises, sliding his hand around your waist. “My own hurts are not your fault, you make everything worthwhile.” He drops a kiss on your cheek.

“I love you, too,” you hum softly. It’s dawned on you that Max doesn’t say the words outright very often, but he says it in different ways all the time.

“Of course you do.” He chuckles and nods towards the atrium where the buffet table is laid out. “Shall we go see how Mrs. Taylor’s table looks before I whisk my wife to the dance floor?”

“You’re enjoying calling me that, I think.” Or you hope he is, b because you enjoy hearing it.

“I get to try it on, see how it feels.” Max teases you shamelessly.

“Oh yeah?” He leads the two of you toward the Great Hall with all its overflowing tables and beautiful gas light. There are punch bowls full of highly alcoholic punch but also crisp, cold water and Max pours out two glasses of water so no one will attempt to be polite and offer punch. “And how are you liking it?”

“It’ll do.” He teases and sends you a smirk. “I don’t mind it all. Not at all. Think it should be permanent.”

“You don’t have to say that just because I want you to.” Admittedly, though, you hope to the gods that he means it. The idea that he might makes you feel like that little bird in your chest could take flight all over again.

“I’m not.” He tightens his hold on your waist and looks into your eyes seriously. “The only thing that I worry about is you dying and leaving me alone.” He confesses quietly. “But I want you to be mine. Not to posses you. You aren’t a toy, but to cherish you.”

"Haven't you heard?" Somehow his hold on you is even tighter with the corset laced neatly around your waist. It isn't too tight, but it hugs you so well that his hand feels like it's going to slip right through your many layers and burn right into your skin. "Apparently you're the person who can stop that from happening." Person. Vampire. There's no need to be specific especially with so many party guests around. The thought has been on your mind since yesterday and you've been trying to summon up the courage to talk to Max about it.

“You didn’t seem too fond of the idea when I told you.” He reminds you quietly. He hadn’t wanted to push, so when you seemed resistant to it, he had dropped the subject, although the thoughts of only having a short time with you had started to bother him.

"I've been thinking about it more lately." It's not the time for the full discussion and you both know that, but at least now the topic is open again. "Maybe we can talk it over the next time we have a little privacy?" There won't be much of it coming any time soon, not while you're traveling with your mother and Emmanuel starting tomorrow afternoon, but at least there is the comfort of your bed for any conversations that should remain just between the two of you.

“I would love to talk to you about it more.” If possible, Max seems to glow at the prospect of you prolonging your life and he pulls you close. He would kiss you, but it’s frowned upon in public, even with married couples.

When he bends his head slightly but stops halfway, you recognize the gesture immediately — he did it earlier today and received a word of advice from Yayo that public displays of affection are considered rude in this time. So you do something you’ve seen your abuela do several times since your arrival — and present your cheek to him with a sly smile. A kiss on the cheek, apparently, is fully acceptable. And if that’s all you can share right now without being subject to comment, then that’s fine. It’s more important to keep a low profile right now and not become the subject of gossip.

“Tease.” He pouts playfully, letting his lips linger against your skin. “You do know husbands can spank their wives in this time, right?” He only says this because you know he would never lay a hand on you in anger. He would rather Evan drive a stake through his heart again.

“You wouldn’t.” You’re absolutely positive of that, but since you can tell that Max is enjoying teasing you, you give him a wink instead. “Wives are also supposed to have separate bedrooms. Maybe I’ll just insist on that.”

“You wouldn’t.” His lower lip immediately comes out at the prospect and he shakes his head. “You enjoyed your temperature controlled Snuggie every night.”

“Of course I wouldn’t.” But he is so very adorable when he pouts, and teasing is a tone that becomes you both. You are at your lightest and happiest when you are able to tease each other. “Besides, as newlyweds, this is technically our honeymoon.”

“Yes it is.” He hums, pulling you closer. “So perhaps I can take a walk with my wife in the gardens so I can kiss my bride?”

The warmth in your cheeks is essentially a fire now, with the way he keeps harping on the titles of bride and wife. “I think we could probably steal away for a little while after supper,” you hum, having to look away or else you’ll get lost in his eyes entirely. To the rest of the room you just look demure. “Yayo won’t mind.”

“Of course he won’t.” Your grandfather had taken him out to find you a proper ring, stating that it wasn’t acceptable to have you with a bare finger, even if you had eloped. The ring is extraordinary and there’s a sense pride knowing he can give you something to bring back to your proper time.

“I wish I could say we should go sit in the teahouse but it hasn’t been built yet.” It was something of a surprise to discover the miniature cottage does not exist yet, but when you had casually mentioned to your mother in your walk that it would be a darling place to take tea, she had jumped on the idea and promised to mention it to her mother.

“I still find it amusing that you are responsible for the tea house.” He snorts, having cackled when you had told him about the conversation. “I wonder how the fireplace is coming along?”

“Who knows? I doubt they’re looking for us, all things considered. Yayo and Mrs. Taylor will know better.” Still, you can’t help but smile at the irony of being responsible for the building of your own favourite retreat. “It seems I’m responsible for my mother’s favourite lamb dish, the teahouse, and my own name.”

“I wish I could have named myself.” Max snorts. “Would have picked something way better.”

“I like your name.” This time it’s your turn to pout, just to continue the teasing tone of the night. Although this teasing makes you lower your voice. There hasn’t been much physical intimacy between you, but the more nights you share a bed, the more you want to share that with him. “One syllable makes it easier to moan.”

“Oh Maximilian.” He creates a high falsetto and rolls his eyes. “Yeah, it’s really great.”

“It’s Max, and that’s no more ridiculous than Dolly.” You point out with a soft snort.

“Doll, baby doll, good girl.” Max grins lasciviously at you and winks. “All of them will sound amazing when they are muffed against your neck or between your thighs.”

“How am I supposed to be proper with you talking like that?” At this point you know it just encourages him to be scolded, but you don’t mind. Not really. Not when you’ve quickly found yourself daydreaming about him in all sorts of very graphic ways.

“I guess the one good thing about all these layers is that no one would ever know that you are wet.” He hums quietly, his lips against your ear.

“Except you.” For this precise moment, you will not give even a second thought to the fact that your grandfather can certainly smell that too. He doesn’t know it’s you, and for all you know half the ladies here are hot and bothered. For you, all that matters right now is Max.

******

After the night is winding down, the morning sky is starting to peak over the edge of the horizon. Luckily, the drapes are heavy and can block out the sun so that the house can sleep the day away after dancing all night. Max loosens his tie as you sit down at your little table to pull the pins for the flowers and sparkling beads out of your hair.

“Suddenly I understand why all the ladies who dresses like this had maids,” you sigh. Exhausted but happy is a wonderful way to go to bed, and the pre-sunrise breakfast served to the remaining guests has warmed you through entirely.

“For tonight, you will just have to have your husband suffice.” Max has shucked his jacket, leaving his vest buttoned and his shirts first three buttons undone with his tie hanging around his neck as he walks towards you. Watching you in the mirror as he moves closer.

He really has no right to be so drop dead handsome. It would be unfair if he wasn’t your soulmate. As it is it’s an enormous distraction, as you can feel him walking toward you but only see his clothing in the silver-backed mirror in your vanity table. His frame is obvious in that reflection but not the face you’ve become so fond of, so you turn around on your stool to smile at him softly. “You were wonderful tonight, by the way. I overheard some ladies gossiping about you after we danced.”

“Yeah?” He smirks and tilts his head. “What did they say? Jealous of how we danced? That I enjoy whisking my bride around the ballroom?”

“There was a little speculation about our passionate elopement,” you tell him, an amused little grin blossoming on your face. “Apparently the way we dance is almost too sexy for the 1880s.”

“Is that right?” He chuckles and waggles his brows playfully. “If they only knew what we could have danced.”

“I think doing an Argentine Tango for these people might give them all heart attacks.” It’s…Something to think about, though. Imagining the deep, very obvious intimacy of that kind of dance with him.

“Very provocative.” Max murmurs, reaching out and cupping your face. “Especially because you would just have to wear that nightgown thing to dance it properly.”

"Chemise." His hand seems to cover half of your face with no effort at all, but you melt into the gesture just as if you were a flower that he was inspecting in the garden. "It's called a chemise, and those are see through as you well know."

“It’s my favorite goddamn thing you wear.” He snorts and bites his lip as he looks down at you. “Still, you couldn’t wear the bulky dresses. Maybe put some pants on you. Really give them a sight to see.”

"It's your favourite because it basically doesn't exist." He had been nearly speechless last night when he came into your shared room to find you sitting up in bed in the thin white slip, which despite being fairly ornate is definitely not sturdy in any way.

"i'm not saying you should walk around naked," Max huffs with a grin on his face. "But you should walk around naked." He had though he had done fairly well in not staring and his hands hadn't strayed during the the night. He deserves bonus points for that. Whoever thought skimpy was better, obvious never appriecated the sexiness of innocently sheer and covering.

“So should you.” Your last bits of jewelry go on the vanity table, stripping away the trinkets that have been weighing you down all night. It isn’t that you necessarily had been planning to take the next step forward with Max, but the opportunity has just sort of…fallen into your lap. And after the way you’ve been feeling all night, you actually don’t want to waste it. “We both could? Just…around this one little room?”

Max stares at you for a moment in shock, unsure of what you mean. "I guess you won't get offended if I'm sporting wood?" He asks finally, chuckling at himself for being so damn wary when he was a fucking man-whore in his previous life.

“That’s more of a compliment than an offense.” The tension in the room has risen a little, not from anything more than interest and wanting. Desire has been thick in the air between you all night. “Only if you want to, handsome. No pressure or anything.”

“Baby doll, you have no idea the things I want to do to you.” Max groans, unable to resist being a little bit of that former playboy while discussing intimacy with his soulmate. Even if he has displayed a lot more restraint and consideration than anyone who knew him before would ever expect, you’re gorgeous and he wants you.

The freedom you’ve felt in this time doesn’t necessarily boil down to just one factor, but since the biggest thing holding you back has been removed from your path to happiness you have felt lighter than air. Smiling up at Max from your place in front of the vanity, you tilt your head slightly to one side and take in the sight of your stunning soulmate. “Maybe…” You end up biting your lip again, nervousness and excitement washing over you. “You could show me?”

It’s instantaneous, his fangs springing out of his gums and his eyes taking on a lighter, yellower hue as his desires take hold. His face doesn’t shift, but his jaw clenches. “You have to be sure.” He nearly growls. “Once I touch you…”

The intensity of desire a vampire has for their mortal soulmate has been explained to you. This sort of reaction isn’t totally unexpected. But knowing that Max’s desire will never spill over into rage makes all the difference. “I’m sure,” you promise him, nodding once as you meet his bright eyes.

Breathing isn’t necessary, but Max exhales roughly. His entire body hardening at the thought of finally being able to touch you like he’s imagined as you dream in his arms. “What do you want me to not do, my little doll?” He asks. “Tell me now, please.”

He already knows that any kind of name calling is off the books, which your certain is one of the reasons that he so consistently uses sweet little pet names for you. What you haven’t discussed previously is specifics of your sexual history, which is why you are so, so grateful for this moment right here. “No restraints,” you tell him honestly, knowing that the old chestnut of using a tie to keep hands out of the way will have you spiraling instead of moaning. “And no degradation. Those are the hard lines that I can’t cross.”

“No restraints, no degradation.” He can quickly agree to that, having no want to make you feel embarrassed about what happens between you. “Biting?” He groans out, knowing he can be shot down. “Off limits?”

“No fangs until we get a chance to talk?” The topic hadn’t been touched since it was mentioned in passing early last night, and now is hardly the time to stop everything for a heart-to-heart.

“O-okay.” That part will be a little more difficult for him, especially at that sweet vein in your inner thigh, but he has enough restraint to abide by your wishes. “Regular teeth only.”

“We can talk about fangs for next time.” Your hand cradles his jaw softly and you give him an encouraging smile. There will absolutely be a next time. As far as you’re concerned, this morning is the beginning of something.

“Nothing you don’t want.” Max reassures. “But I will be showing off my oral skills in other ways.” He smirks. “I’m more than just a pretty set of fangs.”

“You keep saying that.” The teasing hum is back in your voice. “I’m afraid I’m going to need you to prove it.”

“With the dress on, or off?” Max’s eyes gleam in challenge and it takes a conscious effort to make his fangs retract. “Lay down on the bed, my sweet Dolly.”

“In a bustle?” The skeptical look on your face says all it needs to, and you stand from your place in the bench. “I am not explaining to Mrs. Taylor that we crushed a silk evening gown because you couldn’t wait to eat me out. Help me get out of this thing first.”

In the blink of an eye, Max is beside you, spinning you around to start untying your gown. Eager to get to your skin underneath.

It had been fun to wear all night, right up until this moment. The clasps and hooks holding your bodice in place all have to go. Bodice. Skirt. Corset cover. Petticoats. Layer after layer lifts away until all that remains is the corset laced snuggly around your waist and the chemise beneath it. Even your stockings have already been rolled down your legs, tossed aside to be forgotten about on the rug until later.

Max grins and pushes you down onto the bed playfully, still fully dressed and winks at you. “Now, what was that about needing to prove something?” He teases.

“If you want to be teacher’s pet, I’ll make up a little grading system for you,” you tease, remembering what your Yayo had said about Max being kind of a suck up in college.

“Don’t tempt me with a good time.” He strips off the tie and tosses it down. “Let’s see how fast I can get graded.”

In just your chemise and corset, the effect of having Max lie you out in that giant four-poster bed is sort of like the most romantic pornography of all time. The stiff, starched collar from his shirt has been rejected along with all the other trinkets from his suit tonight, and while his jacket might have technically ended up on a chair it certainly wasn’t graceful. He looks like the charming hero of some Victorian novel that’s about to fully debauch himself and can’t wait to take you with him. And it’s better because it’s you he’s talking with you. “Just because you finish the test first doesn’t mean you get the best grade, Max,” you warn him in a teasing singsong.

“Baby doll, you haven’t seen what my tongue can do.” He promises, flicking it out of his mouth and its slightly longer than normal. Another positive to being a vampire.

One knee at a time, Max settles into the valley between your thighs and carefully pushes the hem of your chemise up your legs, doing his best to control the urge to just tear the fabric to get at your core as quickly as possible. When you swallow a breath and lay back against the pillows, you nod and caress his shoulder. “I’m sure,” you promise him.

“I know, baby girl.” He coos. “You just lay back and let me make you see the stars.” He knows that Derek didn’t treat you right, but he’s determined to erase that man’s touch on your mind, body and soul.

Without modern panties — and even without the ridiculous crotchless pantaloons worn in this time — as soon as your shift is pushed up and the cool night air brushes your skin, the difference in a vampiric lover is obvious. There’s no unpleasant memory of hot breath on your body or of searing hot touch making you squirm away. Max’s cool skin is a balm to wash away the bad memories, replacing them with promises of the future. The first touch of his lips and longer tongue to the apex of your sighs earns him a sharp inhale from you, but just as soon as it comes you sigh and relax into the bed a hair more. Even just a kiss over your clit is enough to tell you how different a lover Max will be from anything you’ve had before.

“Fuck you’re so sweet.” Max groans, pulling away from your clit to just look at swollen flesh. “I can feast on you all night.”

A breathless laugh comes from deep in your chest, and you run one hand through his short hair. “It’s morning, love. You’ve got all day, instead.”

“I’ll do it through the day and into the night.” Max snorts, smirking at the idea even if you can’t see it.

“I believe you would.” In fact, you don’t doubt it for a second. Especially not with the way he dives back in for another taste that has your head falling back on the pillow all over again.

Max is cocky when it comes to sex, but he’s got something to prove. He wants to show you how good it will be with him. Wanting to make sure you know that your soulmate will lick your pussy anytime you want.

It’s been years since the last time you had a head between your thighs, and even then you were made to feel like it was an enormous burden. Max descends on your clit like it is his favorite treat in the world and he has been starved of it. Ravenous for the taste of you and insatiable in his hunger.

Max feeds off your sounds, loving the soft, restrained moans that you are trying to keep quiet. Wanting to make it to where you forget anyone else is in the house, he squeezes your thighs and pushes his tongue deep inside you.

Your moans pitch up immediately, a sharp gasp bursting out of you like an explosion and your fingers in his hair tightening instinctively. This has been one of your favorite intimacies, oh so long ago, and even though you’ve told yourself that it wasn’t worth missing, you have. The trust involved in giving someone else complete access to your soul is nothing to turn up your nose at, after all.

Max moans into your flesh, inhaling the heady scent of your arousal as he tastes it on his tongue. You are fresh off your cycle and he twitches in his pants at the thought of tongue fucking you to soothe your cramps.

It isn't restraining, the way Max has his forearms wrapped around your thighs, holding you open for that mutual enjoyment as he dives deeper and deeper into your cunt. It's cradling you. Treasuring you. And it's so damn good. The fingers of your free hand tangle in the sheets on your other side but you're not sure you won't need them to stifle your own moans. The amount of pressure he's putting on your most sensitive areas is perfect and every flick of his tongue is another sharp jolt of pleasure that has your chest heaving in the corset still tied around your torso.

He can’t see your face but he can feel the beating of your heart through your body. Smell the sweet blood swimming in your veins and it makes him ravenous. Intent on making sure you scream his name when you cum.

Every pass of his tongue over your core, every probe and every lick ticks your heartbeat up that much faster until you feel like your head is swimming and you know your thighs are shaking. The very direct way he's chosen to tongue fuck you as if his afterlife depends on it almost makes you feel like you're laying on a choppy sea and he's the only thing keeping you from sinking.

Large hands start to squeeze your thighs. Stroking from your knee down to your hips. Encouraging you to give in to him as his tongue works harder and harder, the ability to not breathe working in his favor as he doesn’t let up to gasp for air.

It’s almost overwhelming because he never has to let up. He dives in over and over again, lapping up every bit of dripping wetness that you have for him and drinking it down like a man starved but he never has to pause or even shift in his attention. It has you building up and up and up on a mountain that feel like the peak of pleasure is impossibly high but deliriously tantalizing to reach. The moment that sends you into hazy bliss though, isn’t the typical oncoming orgasm. It’s when Max wraps his lips around your swollen clit and sucks — sharp and with a groan that reverberates through your whole body. Your back lifts off the mattress and you barely manage to stifle half the keening sound you make, going boneless and letting your legs open as wide as they will go. Just begging him to do it again.

Max groans, growling slightly and his entire soul seems to brighten as you come apart for him. Body vibrating as he absorbs your pleasure as if it were his own, maybe it is. Maybe this is what it’s like to be with your soulmate. Consuming him completely as your thighs shake around his head.

It comes on all at once, mere minutes after he began, and if Max was aiming to bowl you over with sheer skill then he should take the near wail of his name as you start to cum as a signal that he has done extremely well. It washes over you all at once, bending your back and making your legs squeeze his head tight, which only earns you another groan.

The only thing missing is the sight of your face as you cum. Max closes his eyes and imagines it, his face starting to shift in his excitement. Bones knitting and becoming heavier, sharper. His growl deepening although he makes sure to keep his fangs retracted. Not wanting to pierce your delicate flesh. Perhaps one day you would let him bite your lip and lick the blood from your cunt.

Unexpected and rumbling, the depth of the growl between your legs makes your eyes shoot open. Still darkened with lust, when you look down at Max to find him transformed between your thighs, something even more unexpected makes your cunt ache at the sight of someone so powerful unraveled and needy for you. "Do it again, love." You can hear the ferocity in your own voice, the demand and the need. Desire and a type of desperation that you've never felt before. The need for more. "Again. Just like that."

Max’s yellow eyes flicker, darken even more to a burnt amber as he tightens his grip on your thighs. Not enough to hurt you, not even at his most powerful would he ever hurt you. His snarl of obedience bounces off the walls of the room and his eager tongue buries itself back in your cunt to carry out your surprisingly arousing order.

______

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[soapskneebrace]

to rival the sun

Pairing: Gaz x f!Reader Rating: Explicit Word Count: 3.4k Warnings: virginity loss, established relationship, praise kink (kind of), discussions of contraceptives, gratuitous use of italics, a metaphor perhaps stretched too thin, really just a lot of gooey sweetness, only one editing pass so be gentle Author’s Notes: Listen, I am not a Gaz girl, but this thing just came out of me.

Now on AO3!

You’re in the middle of making out on his couch when you tell him.

You’re straddled across his lap, arms hung loosely around his neck as his hands slide soft and soothing up and down your back. Something is burning low in your belly, something you’ve often felt but never shared with anyone else, and his mouth is warm and eager on yours.

“Can’t ever get enough of you, feels like,” he’d said to you, early in your relationship. He’d meant it as a joke, at the time, referring to the near three-solid days you’d spent together between deployment. You hadn’t even done that much—one or two outings to a cafe had only punctuated longer stretches given simply to sharing each other’s company. You’d still been getting familiar then, the both of you, still sharing kisses that were more shy than anything else.

Kyle is not shy now, and neither are you. His entire body is warm, and almost pliant beneath yours, but you can feel a kind of tightness that always seems to be there when the two of you get into these positions. It’s in his shoulders, pulled taut along the muscles of his trapezius, and as you tease his lower lip with your teeth you knead circles into the meat of it with the tips of your fingers.

The massage does the opposite of helping, though—he intakes a sharp breath, and pulls away from you, hands tight on your waist as he breaths hard. His eyes are closed, and the warm brown of his cheeks is made warmer by a tinge of red.

“Maybe we should slow down,” he says, sounding like that’s the opposite of what he wants to do. The grip he has on you seems to agree.

“If you want,” you say, but making the offer feels like pulling your own teeth. That low burn is beginning to spread, but insecurity suddenly threatens to poison it. Does he not want you?

It’s been a little like this throughout the span of your relationship. Even without any admissions, you know it’s pretty obvious that you don’t have much experience. And for the most part, his attention to the slow pace you set has been nothing but a relief—people could get weird about your needs, about what you hadn’t done, but Kyle makes you feel like the rhythm you set isn’t a strange one to dance to at all.

“Do you want to?” Kyle asks, opening his eyes to meet yours.

The insecurity dissolves. You can see it all over his face, in the crease of his brow—he doesn’t want to stop. He wants to keep you comfortable, even if he ends up unsatisfied. You feel like his expression is mirroring yours perfectly, painted stark and hot with aching want, and settling into that shared feeling is like sinking deep into a warm bath.

“No,” you whisper, hands moving to frame the sides of his neck.

He inhales again, less sharply. “Just say when, yeah?” he whispers back. The words are accompanied with a shift of his hips, a flutter of his hands on your waist.

“There isn’t a when,” you say, and then without thinking, “I want you to be my first, Gaz.”

He goes still. Blinks at you. “Oh.”

And instantly you regret opening your mouth. Your hands fall away, sliding down to his chest, curling into embarrassed fists. You look down. Of course it’s weird. Who was a virgin past eighteen these days? You know Kyle is experienced, unlike you—you’ve felt it every time he’s touched you, every time he’s slung an arm around you with the casual ease of someone who knew how to be with someone else. Shame and disappointment flood you, and that burn in your belly rapidly banks.

But his hands—broad, strong, and gentle—are on your face, bringing you back to him. “I would’ve thought—god, I mean, people must have thrown themselves at you!”

He’s smiling, wide and joyful, and it’s like seeing the sun rise. As quickly as it came, the embarrassment flees.

You smile too, the relief making you laugh, and refrain from correcting his generous assumption. “It just never felt right.”

He kisses you, swift and solid, but suddenly pulls away again, but you know this time it’s because he’s thought to say something. “And it feels right now?”

You nod, hands going back to his neck, lashes lowered a little demurely. “You feel right, Kyle.”

He surges forward again, lips finding the corner of your mouth and working toward your jaw. “Tell me the minute I do something you don’t like. Promise me, yeah? Promise.”

“I promise,” you gasp, as suddenly his teeth find the juncture of your neck and shoulder. You don’t think, in that moment as the burn suddenly roars back to life, that he could do a single thing to make keeping that promise necessary. “Kyle, that feels good.”

His lips part from your skin with a wet smack, move to give the hickey he’s just sucked into your skin a companion. “That’s the idea, love.”

Your hands find the expanse of his back as he presses you closer, fingers spreading over the flex and stretch of taut muscle, and you dig your nails in as a little moan leaves you. The tension you’d always felt is gone, and when you realize that it’s been there because he’s been holding back for you the entire time, your breath leaves your lungs.

“That feels good, too, love,” he says against your neck, smiling up at you when you look at him. “Always feels good when you touch me. Always. Didn’t want to scare you with that.”

You melt a little. “I’m never scared of you, Kyle.”

You don’t have the words to describe his expression. The smile has dropped away, but it’s been replaced with something you think borders on beatific. His eyes, warm and brown and soft, are seeing you against a backdrop of something else, something you know is bloody and ugly and a place of no pride. You don’t know the details—you don’t have the clearance—but you know enough.

You take his face in your hands as he pulls back. “Never,” you repeat.

His arms tighten around you like vices, and he leans forward again, kissing you hard. His tongue finds the edge of your teeth, licks into your mouth as his hands flex across your back and your fingers find the collar of his shirt. It feels illicit to delve beneath the flimsy cotton, to trace the shape of his muscles with your nails, but the purr of satisfaction he gives against your mouth tells you it’s exactly the right thing to do.

“Off,” you say between kisses, and the fabric complains as he yanks it up, pulls his arms and head out, and throws the thing away without a second look. You splay your hands across his chest, digging your nails into the swell of his muscles as he claims your mouth again, and his skin is blazing to touch. You think there’s a fire burning inside him, too, and in the back of your mind you wonder if his flat could burn down just from the two of you being together like this.

His arms sink lower around your body, traveling from waist to hips, and abruptly he’s pulling you forward, hands splayed across both ass cheeks, as he shifts his hips and settles back against the couch. The new position has your mons nestled against an interesting bulge at the front of his pants, but he doesn’t give you much time to blush or fluster about it.

“Ride me, love, I’ve got you,” he murmurs, the deep dark of his eyes alight with the firestorm whipping up between you.

You grasp his shoulders and lean in to seal your mouth over his again. His fingers dip under the hem of your shirt, hot on the already warm skin of your back. Encouraged, you pivot your hips a little, experimentally, and in synch the both of you groan at the sensation. His erection is almost perfectly aligned with the clothed seam of your pussy, the drag of it made simultaneously just perfect and not enough with the fabric’s friction. You grind down again, pressing your mouth harder against his, whimpering when his jaw opens and his tongue finds its way into the space beneath yours. He shifts his hips, pushing up into you a little, grabbing you by the ass again as you bear your clit down hard on what feels like it could be the head of his cock.

“Christ, love, that’s fucking perfect,” Kyle gasps, tendons in his neck pulled completely taut.

“Gaz, it feels so good,” you whine, pressing down harder, dragging against him, the need suddenly feverish.

His hands leave your shirt and wedge themselves into the back of your pants, eliciting a sharp gasp as he kneads the flesh. “This okay? You want these off?”

“Yes!” you exclaim. “Yes, Kyle, please.”

It’s a clumsy job, and they end up hanging from one ankle because you cannot be bothered to do more than get them out of the way. Somewhere in the back of your head you want to laugh at how slapdash the both of you must look—him shirtless but still in sweatpants, you naked only from the waist down—but the rest of your mind is an inferno. As you settle back onto his lap, there’s only his clothes separating you from him now, and when you press your mons against him again the heat coming from his cock is breathtaking.

“We need a condom?” Kyle asks, spreading his big hands across your thighs.

“I’m on the pill,” you murmur, grinning at his foresight, blessing your lucky stars that you’d thought to take precautions as early as the first time you’d made out with him.

“Fuck yeah,” he enthuses, grinning back. “Option’s always open though. If we need it.”

That has you kissing him again, burrowing your hips into his, swallowing the sharp moan he gives as his fingertips dig into the meat of your hips. You can almost imagine him throbbing against you—or is that your own pulse you feel, beating a rhythm between your folds? Heat floods your face at the thought, and a needy ache blooms quickly from your center.

You separate from him. “Kyle—touch me. Please?”

His hand goes to your sex like he’d been waiting for you to ask. Suddenly you’re fighting your own body, because your hips jerk away from him when his fingers slide through folds that you’re only now realizing are dripping wet. The pleasure is not dulled with fabric this time, not under the rhythm of your control, and it’s like flames are licking at your bare skin with the sensation of his touch. Every nerve is alive, alight with awareness.

“Sorry!” you gasp. “I didn’t do that on purpose.”

But he’s got a steady arm around you. His grin reappears, satisfied and almost smug. “That good, is it?” he teases, a lighter touch dragging again through the creases of you, curling his fingers into a sticky squelch that has you blushing furiously. “Shit, that is good.”

“Kyle,” you beg. “Please.”

He forms his mouth around your pulse, the tip of his middle finger circling your clit without actually making contact. “You want my fingers, love?” They brush around the borders of your entrance. “Want me to get you ready?”

“I can take you,” you say, bearing down, trapping his hand between your pussy and his cock. “I’ll tell you to stop if it’s too much. I promised, didn’t I?”

He sucks in a breath through clenched teeth, and searches your gaze. You don’t know what he sees, but his mouth finds yours again. “Jesus, darling. Fuck. You’re fucking perfect.”

He withdraws his hand, and scoots you back a little by the hips. You can’t help staring as he pulls his waistband down, showing a small dusting of curly pubic hair, and pulls his cock free with one hand. The burn almost peaks then and there, because the sight of it standing like that, rigid, the head of it smeared glossy with precum, is almost too much to take. He’s hard, hard because of you, hard because of what you’d been doing together.

Your trace your fingers along its length, almost lightheaded, before remembering that he’s been so good about staying at your pace. “Is this okay?” you ask, your touch lingering at the base. You want to show him the same consideration he’s shown you—want him to know how precious it has been by giving him the same.

His breath comes out unevenly, and he presses his forehead to yours—you think he understands. “Better than okay. Fuck.”

You stroke him again, lingering at the dip between shaft and corona, and your brows shoot up when his cock twitches in response. Your breath is suddenly shaky in your chest, shallow, and your throat feels dry when you finally speak. You hadn’t known that could happen. The implications have the blood roaring in your ears.

“How—” and you have to lick your lips, “—how do we do this?”

You look up at his face again, and his lips part in a smile that’s so tender it makes your heart hurt. “Come here.”

He helps you lift up on your knees, and you want to whimper at how easy it is for him to hold you steady with one hand while the other takes ahold of his cock. There is barely any space between the head of it and your folds. You swear you can feel the heat of it radiating out toward your skin, as if it’s stretching out to find you.

“Help me in, alright?” Kyle murmurs, hand tightening on your hip, the pressure comforting.

You grip his bare shoulder with one hand and reach down, finding your entrance—you’re familiar enough with that—and spreading your folds. As you lower yourself, trembling less than you might have without his support, you feel the head of his cock pass between the splay of your fingers, spreading them wider, and then your entrance surrounds him.

“Good,” Kyle breathes, “so good. You’re doing amazing.”

Lower. You feed him into yourself in centimeters, carefully, but it’s like you were made to take him—your body gives no resistance, the dripping slick you’re coated with welcoming him eagerly, hungrily. You toss your pace to the wind and push down, taking him to the root.

The moan that leaves you is long and loud as he hisses “Fuck!” in your ear. The hand that had been around his cock slaps against your ass, and you feel him go rigid beneath you, feel his shoulders go tight, feel his thighs flex beneath you as his grip on your body turns to iron. He’s hot and thick inside you, and deep, deeper than your fingers have ever been able to reach. You’re sure of it now—you can feel the his pulse in you, thrumming against your walls like the beat of a drum.

You find your breath somehow as the two of you sit motionless for a heartbeat.

Then he’s huffing a laugh. “Warn a guy next time, love! Shit, you feel incredible.”

You laugh too, and it’s followed by a gasp as you can feel yourself laughing around him. “Told you I could take you!” you pant.

He grins at you, showing his teeth, and nips at your jaw. “Fucking minx. Take the rest then, too, aye?”

You pivot your hips, already practiced from before, and give a cry as you finally register the stretch of your walls around him. It’s a good stretch, a burn that you’re sure is going to sear you from the inside. Your thighs are shaking a little, tight with a building pressure that threatens to combust, and Kyle gives a push upward with his hips.

“I got you,” he says, and his voice is low and breathy as he wraps both hands around your waist. “Go ahead. Take what you need. We’ll get you there.”

You pivot again, and pleasure radiates from your core from where your bodies are joined. You don’t need to think about it too much as you roll your hips, back and forth, falling forward to drape yourself across Kyle’s chest as you wrap your arms around his shoulders for leverage. One heavy arm loops around your back, and you’re squealing as his free hand is at your sex again, two fingers pressing into your clit as his hips rock, as ever, to match your rhythm.

Your breath is coming fast. The heat between your bodies is humid, heavy, settling slick across your skin as you move together. You rest your forehead on his shoulder, whimpering, panting, grinding your hips down as the muscles in your back and thighs pull tighter and tighter, as something in your core winds itself up with so much tension you wonder how far it can actually go. You’ve come before, with a vibrator, with your own hands, but it’s never been like this.

“Kyle,” you say, and it comes out as the neediest whine you have ever heard yourself make. “I’m so close, oh my god…”

“I can feel it,” he says, thrusting up into you with new momentum. “You’re almost there, love, it’s alright—shit, you feel good—come on, darling, come for me—Fuck!”

The tension snaps. Your breath escapes you in one sharp, long gasp, carrying a wordless cry out of your mouth, and then you can’t make any sound at all. Your orgasm floods your whole body, fireworks of ecstasy lighting up across your nerves in a sweeping crescendo, bursting to life behind your closed eyes, dancing for moments before winking out to make room for more. For one, singular moment, you feel every nerve ending beneath your skin blaze with pleasure, and wonder if this was how stars came to life.

You finally cry out, panting hard against Kyle’s skin, when you regain the use of your voice. He’s pistoning into you from below, and you only have a little time to gather yourself to watch his face before his hips shove up into yours, almost lifting the both of you completely off the couch, as he comes with a strained growl.

The expression he’s making is indescribable. Everything you’d felt in that climax, you see playing out in the draw of his brows, in the hang of his jaw. Had he looked like that the whole time? You experience an unexpected moment of disappointment, as the pleasure ebbs. You’d been very focused on you. You’d missed what was happening to him.

You’re both breathing hard. You tighten your arms around him, stricken suddenly with that old shyness, when he starts to pepper your neck with soft little kisses, and that eases the disappointment. You come back to yourself, to the both of you, as his hands are traveling across your back, splayed wide, stroking the sweaty fabric of your shirt. His body is still warm beneath you—still warm inside you—and for now, it’s enough.

“That was incredible,” Kyle says into your skin, “Christ, that was perfect. You were perfect.”

You take a deep, shuddering breath. “So were you,” you say, soft and a little tender. He turns his head to look at you, still resting against his shoulder. You realize you’re smiling, when he smiles back—and you lift your head to press your brow to his. “Thank you,” you whisper.

His lips find yours, soft and sweet. You know he understands.

You’re both sticky, glistening with sweat, and a little dizzy from the climax. This isn’t so unfamiliar a feeling—you and Kyle were known to exercise together—but when the two of you finally break apart, as he slips out of your body, you discover two things.

One, you feel horribly empty without him inside you. Your belly is still thrumming, and you realize that low burn has not gone out.

And two, Kyle is nowhere near flaccid. It isn’t the rigid mast it had been earlier, but like you, Kyle isn’t quite sated.

He sees you studying him, still on the couch after you’ve stood up, and smiles at you. You know what he’s about to say even before he says it.

“Told you I can’t get enough of you.”

You give a breathless laugh. Because now, you’re very interested in going at his pace instead.

#cod mw22 #cod mwii #cod mw2 #cod imagine #mw2 imagine #call of duty mwii #kyle garrick #kyle gaz garrick #kyle gaz garrick x you #kyle gaz garrick x reader #gaz x reader #gaz x you #cod gaz #call of duty imagine #call of duty fanfic #call of duty: modern warfare 2 #modern warfare imagine #modern warfare 2 fanfic #modern warfare 2 headcanons #modern warfare 2 #og post #fanfic #literally no idea where this came from but enjoy folks

[applejuicefruit]

Can you write something about reader breaking up with Kylian because she’s having some mental problems and can’t keep up with both relationship and herself but Kylian doesn’t want to let her go because other wise she would be alone? So even if they break up he still take care of her please 🙏

this request was just 😭😭😭

tw : a lot of angst, mention of depression and anxiety

kylian mbappe x reader

As long as you need me

You had no idea how to tell Kylian that you were going to break up with him. That you were going to break up with your boyfriend, the love of your life and the person who always helped you and supported you in the past two years.

You knew this was going to break him, completely, but you were feeling like you were just slowing his life and you couldn’t let that happen.

Kylian knew you suffered from depression when you were a teen. You were first diagnosed when you were only sixteen and you’ve been taking pills since then. When you turned eighteen you started having anxiety and anxiety attacks everytime you felt like you were in a stressful situation and, dealing with anxiety and depression wasn’t a joyful ride. But when you met Kylian everything started to work better for you. You always told him everything, about your past, about your present, about your day. It didn’t matter, he would spent hours just to listening you talk.

But, as you noticed it, he noticed it too that in these past months you were feeling worse and worse and he couldn’t do nothing to help you. He saw how you were slowly breaking and he couldn’t do anything about it and that was killing him. You were his light and you were slowly fading away.

You were sat on the couch waiting for him to come back from training and anxiety was eating you alive.

You were fidgeting with your fingers and you were looking everywhere but the front door.

You were so lost in your thoughts that you didn’t even hear Kylian being back home.

“Hey mon amour…”he greeted you but the moment he entered he knew something was off. He felt in the air, bad energy he probably knew what was coming.

“Oh hey Kylian…I didn’t see you…” you said looking up at him and his heart broke when he saw your glossy eyes. He wanted to take your pain away so bad but he knew he couldn’t do it.

“Honey is everything okay?” he asked sitting on the couch next to you.

“Kyky…I think we should talk…” you said, your voice breaking a little.

“Okay…” he said grabbing your hands and putting them on his lap. He knew what was coming but still he wanted to believe you had to tell him something else.

“Kyky…” you called him completely breaking down “you know how much I love you and how much you mean for me…I’m so sorry, I really am, I don’t want to do this but I feel like I have no choice…I’m so sorry Kyky…I think we should take a break…” you explained avoiding his look but you could feel it on yourself “I can’t…I just can’t focus on our relationship anymore…I’m so sorry baby, I am, but I feel like my mind is going to explode at any moment, my thoughts are eating me alive and I can’t do nothing to stop them, my own fucking mind became my first enemy and I don’t know what to do and how to stop it…I only feel like I need time to myself and time to heal and I can’t do it right now Kyky…I tried, I really tried but I can’t…please don’t hate me, I couldn’t handle you hating me” you said finally looking at him.

His hands cupped your face and wiped your tears away.

“Baby girl I could never hate you…never in my life. You mean to much for me to hate you…but I get it, I really do…I wish I could take your pain away but I can’t and that’s fucking killing me because all I want to do is seeing you happy and smiling again…I wish I could take your pain so you don’t have to suffer again…I hate seeing you like this…” he started crying too because he loved you so much and he couldn’t handle seeing you like that. But he felt it. He felt everything you told him because in these past months he was the one to comfort you everytime you cried or your couldn’t sleep, he was the one to calm you down after an anxiety attack, he was the one to handle your mood swings every time you had a depressive episode, he was the one to take care of you when you wouldn’t want to leave your bed, he was the one to help you shower when you felt not doing it. He helped you with everything and you only felt a burden to him, you wanted to be happy and free again but you felt like you were trapped and you couldn’t set free. It was hard for you to explain what you were feeling but you were glad Kylian could understand.

“I just hate the fact that I’m hurting you…I didn’t want to break up Kylian, believe me please, I just want to feel happy again” you cried into his arms while he held you.

“It’s okay baby…I know, I know you just want to feel yourself again…all I care now is for you to feel better, and, boyfriend or not, I’ll be here, as long as you need me…I’ll never leave you, You’re not alone y/n and I want you to know that…I’m here and I will always be here for you…” he whispered into your ear trying to calm you down.

You spent the next hour crying in his arms. Words weren’t needed anymore. Him comforting you as he always did. You didn’t know where or what you were gonna do next but all you knew was that you wanted to feel happy and free again.

He wanted that too. That’s why he was sure that letting you go was the only solution for you to feel better again, but it didn’t matter if you broke up, you knew he was gonna be there, for you, always.

#kylian mbappe #kylianmbappe x reader #kylian mbappe x reader #kylian mbappe imagines #kylian mbappe fluff #kylian mbappe angst #kylian x reader #kylian mbappe imagine #kylian mbappe x you #kylian mbappe one shot #kylian mbappe drabble #psg #paris saint germain #equipe de france #football fan #football imagine #football one shot

[aurumacadicus]

Tony gets personal mail a week after he sends off his Dear John letter. He stares at it like it's a venomous snake, hands shaking whenever he reaches to open it. Finally, he takes it to Pepper, too ashamed of the disgust he might see on Rhodey's face when he tells him why he's scared to open it. (Rhodey had received a Dear John letter on his first deployment and it left him gun-shy of starting relationships anymore. Tony had promised he'd never be like the girl who broke his heart, wait to break up in person, but the idea of faking it in letters for eighteen months just to drop Steve on his ass as soon as he saw him feels no better.)

"...Tony," Pepper whispers, shoving the letter back at him frantically. "He hasn't gotten your letter yet."

"HUH?!" Tony bellows, snatching the letter open, and crumples to the ground when he sees it laden with 'sweetheart's and 'baby's and 'honey's. There's also some really raunchy stuff that he is mortified that Pepper saw. He looks back up at her, clutching the letter to his chest. "What. What do I do."

"Well, I don't think you can write back at this point," Pepper says after a brief pause.

So Tony doesn't, even though he keeps reading and rereading Steve's letter. Steve just didn't know he'd been broken up with when he'd written it. When Tony's letter catches up to him, he'll learn why Tony never wrote back to the one he sent. It's embarrassing, but, what can he do.

But Steve's letter's keep coming, week after week, and it dawns on Tony, as he reads about the things Steve's been doing, and he finally gets the PS of "I know mail is dodgy where I am but when are you going to write back :(", that his Dear John letter... must have gotten lost in the mail. Steve doesn't know Tony broke up with him two months ago.

Tony sits down to write another one, but in the end, he can't quite bear to write 'I think it's better if we part ways' twice. Especially not when he's found himself enjoying Steve's letters. Part of the reason he'd wanted to break up was because he knew he was clingy, and he'd never managed a long-distance relationship before (although, he realizes as he stares at the blank paper, he'd never broken up with anyone because of it; he'd been the one broken up with). Plus, all of Steve's comrades had such involved family and friends when it came to their service. Tony doesn't have the leisure of going hard for the army when his company is trying to change its image. Steve had said he'd understood, but he'd also looked a little sad about it. He hadn't really wanted to break up, anyway, he figures, rubbing a hand over his face. He'd just been trying to get ahead of Steve dumping him.

So he sends Steve a letter. He tells him his other letter must have gotten lost, but there was nothing important in it. He'll try to write more often. He just didn't know how often Steve would get his letters. He pauses writing again after sending it off, but then he gets a letter back from Steve telling him he was sorry he missed the other letter, and yes, mail calls might be sparse, but he'd happily take a stack of letters with the same joy as the letters trickling in one by one.

Tony falls more in love with Steve through their letters. This is a different side of him than he's ever seen before, somehow impossibly sweeter and yet even more sincere. He understands why Steve insisted on letters instead of emails beyond the basic 'there's not always internet where we are.' He adores going back, reading over things, tracing his fingers over the ink as if he can read how Steve felt when he wrote. He can't wait for Steve to come back from his deployment so he can see him face-to-face, tell him all about his stupid first letter and how glad he was that it got lost. Steve will almost certainly laugh. Tony's confident in that now.

And then, all at once, the letters stop. Tony doesn't notice at first--sometimes mail is sporadic. Steve can't give him his exact location, but he knows enough that sometimes, bags of letters aren't important compared to bags of supplies. He keeps writing, hesitantly deciding that maybe they're just... moving locations? Or. It's too dangerous for mail. Which is scary. But Steve being deployed is scary in general anyway. So. And Steve said he'd like a stack of letters. He'll be delighted by the size of the stack he gets.

Then one day his letter comes back. He didn't even know the army did 'return to sender.' He stares at the envelope for a long time. Maybe he'd gotten the address wrong. Maybe they moved? He doesn't know how addresses work in deployment. He turns the letter over, to see if it's still sealed.

DEAR JOHN is scrawled on the back, in big, block letters.

Tony drops it as if it burned him, and he claps his hands over his mouth to muffle the wounded keen tearing at his throat.

#ideas #stony #welcome to the suffer club i guess

[clementinechatsshit]

money, power, glory - coriolanus snow x plinth!oc

description: rhea plinth wanted one thing more than anything in this world. power. this is her story of descending into the hunger for power. the addiction to it. and if she can love through this hunger.

tw: 18+ standard hunger games shizzle, strong language, spice, toxic relationships, power hungry bitches, rhea is just as twisted as snow

a/n: hi peeps, this is my first attempt at writing anything ff related, but coryo has been in my brain since i read tbosas. i didnt want to write him ooc but rather embrace the fact that he is bat shit crazy and create a character that also embraces and encourages that side of him. i dont think ive read any ffs that have a reader/oc that is also as fucked up as snow. pls be nice

What is the purpose of the Hunger Games? 

I used to think that they were to bring justice to Panem. To punish the districts for the uprising. We’d always been taught that, and I believed it. Yet, now I see things a little differently. I see things for how they truly are. I was eighteen when I learnt the truth about the Hunger Games. How they are played, and how they are really won.

‘Rhea?’ a voice echoes from behind me. I snap my head around to see my brother leant against the frame of my bedroom door.

‘Sejanus, what have I said about knocking’, he flinches at my response, my tone harsher than intended. 

He lowers his gaze to the blazer in his grip, cowering from the hardened stare I deliver his way. ‘I’m sorry’ weak, ‘we’re going to be late’. 

I turn to fully face him, lifting my face to a content smile. My heels clack on the marble flooring as I cross the room, I pause for a second in front of him, waiting. Sejanus holds his elbow out for me to link my hand through, my gloved hand brushes the soft thread of his shirt as an avox approaches and hands me my purse. 

‘Bye, mother!’, ‘See ya, Ma’ we shout as we leave the penthouse. Sejanus never stopped calling our mother ‘ma’, juvenile if you ask me. Sometimes I think he wants to be back in the districts.

The red silk of my dress grazes the bottoms of my calves as we make our way to the car, another avox our driver. I see avox’s as the perfect company, they know their place in this society, even if they did have to learn it the hard way. They know that they have no power, they have accepted that there are consequences to their actions. They don’t talk back either. 

‘The Academy’ a demand, not a request. 

‘Please.’ Sejanus adds

The Academy. Only the elites have the privilege of attending, and only the greats go on to study at the University. We may not be Capitol born, but we belong there more than anybody else. For ten years, I have been proving my place amongst my fellow students, before I even set foot in the Capitol, I knew I am simply better than them all.

I entered first. Shoulders back, chin up. Make them stare. The first thing I know about power. If you can’t command a room, you have none. I felt the eyes on me as I strode in, then I heard the whispers. I had power, you see, I have their attention when I give them none. I glance around the room attempting to find someone worth a morsel of my time, when I hear his voice.

‘Rhea Plinth’, that is a voice I would never tire of hearing.

‘Coriolanus Snow’ I acknowledge him, giving him a once over. The pinstripes of his dress shirt, dated, yet he made it look like an arising trend in the Capitol. A rose tucked into the formal vest. He was handsome indeed, a shame about the mismatched tesserae buttons. I placed my hand into his outstretched palm, watching him raise it to his lips as he leant down and pressed a gentle kiss to the back of it in greeting. 

‘Rhea, can you just get it over and done with, Snow won the Plinth Prize, didn’t he?’ the bratty whine of Arachne Crane interrupted.

‘I can’t confirm anything’, power, ‘however, I can say things will get interesting this year.’ my voice almost sultry as I spoke directly to Coriolanus, not even bothering to turn to Arachne. 

‘Now, Coriolanus, walk with me?’ a huff sounds from beside us as we turn to leave the hall. 

‘Won’t people suspect something?’ I feel his breath on my neck as he hunches down to be level with my ear.

‘They’ll just assume I’m telling you about the prize’, I remain facing ahead, the doors to the adjoining hallway open. A rare smile hooks at the corners of my mouth as we round the corner, a pillar shielding us from the curious eyes of anyone passing. 

‘Ah yes, Miss Plinth doing her duty as the liaison for the prestigious Plinth family.’ His mocking tone forces my eyes to roll, as we slowly step backwards. I may be the representative of the Plinth family for all intents and purposes, but with Coriolanus, I don’t have to be. See, I know who he really is, I know that his family has no money, I’ve seen the apartment they live in. Deep down, I know that all he sees in me is District, but I am the one thing that stands between him and the power he craves. That’s why we have this arrangement. I secure his future in the Capitol, and he makes sure that no one will ever see me as district again. 

I’m drawn from my thoughts as my skin hits the cold wall behind me, a hand snaking its way around my waist. A hooked finger nudges my chin, lifting my gaze to meet the piercing blue eyes looking down at me. The intensity of his stare is almost intimidating. His grip changes as he strokes a fallen piece of hair behind my ear. 

‘You look pretty like this,’ he murmurs, leaning in. His lips graze mine and I feel him inhale. Like he’s breathing in my surrender. I crash my lips against his, our noses bumping against each other, but neither of us minding. His lips are rough against mine, more aggressive. You look pretty like this. I look pretty when you think you have control over me.

I reach my hands around his neck, tangling my fingers into the blond curls. I tug once, he groans, I tug again. Who’s in control now, Coryo. He squeezes my waist and I sigh into the kiss. Our whole exchange is a power play. His tongue slips into my mouth as he reaches his hand lower, and lower. Maybe I could give in this once.

The echo of someone clearing their throat shatters the tension between us. Coriolanus takes a few instinctive steps back as I swing my head around to look at who dared interrupt us. 

Dean Casca Highbottom.

‘Mr Snow, Miss Plinth. I assume you are heading into the hall to hear the announcement?’ He looked disgusted, disappointed. 

‘Yes, of course, Dean Highbottom.’ Coriolanus responded instantly, leaving me standing with the Dean, marching back into the grand hall, his hands reaching up to fix his hair

‘They can’t make the announcement without me, Casca. You know that,’ I give him a knowing look before following Coriolanus’ lead. I look back over my shoulder to see the Dean opening a vial and consuming the contents. 

I found Coriolanus standing with my brother and another girl from our class, Dovecote, Clemensia I believe. I give her a slight nod as a hello, not wanting to waste my breath on her. ‘Hello Sejanus, Coriolanus.’ glancing up at the boys, flashing a quick smirk at them.

‘Rhea, where were you?’ Sejanus queries, his brows furrowed, ‘you’re meant to be naming the winner.’ 

‘Brother mine, you worry too much. Besides, there's been a slight change in plan.’ This is power. Knowledge. Money. 

‘Can everyone take their seats,’ the instructions come from one of the teachers at the Academy.

I leave the group and make my way up to the podium, passing Dean Highbottom on the way. The room silences as I ascend the stairs. As I glance down to the crowd, I catch Coriolanus’ eye, he looks hopeful. He needs this prize. To anyone else, it’s about the title. To him, this is everything. 

‘My father, Strabo Plinth, has been gracious enough, over the years, to provide incentive to those at the Academy in the form of the Plinth Prize. An award bestowed upon the student who excels in every aspect of their education. An honour for any student who wins it.’ my voice strong, conductive, they are hanging on my every word. Power. I see Arachne glare over at the blond boy, they all think they know. They all think he has won. ‘This year, we want to make things harder, create more of a challenge. This year, myself and my mentor, Dr. Ghaul, want you. The top twenty-four. The elite. To become mentors yourselves.’ slight muttering begins to spread around the room. ‘This reaping day, you will be assigned tributes, you will guide them, make spectacles of them, and one of you. You will create a victor.’ 

The voices become louder, anger begins to bubble. Arachne is already complaining, Sejanus looks horrified. But Coriolanus, he is furious. And me, a large grin spreads its way across my face.

Now this. This is power.

#coriolanus snow #coriolanus x reader #oc #the ballad of songbirds and snakes #tbosas #lucy gray baird #tom blyth #coryo snow #tigris snow #the hunger games #capitol

[groenendaelfic]

Verbier and Sex Workers

aka the Twinks? Bears? Asians? Latinos? line is not cute (says I)

One thing I love so much about this fandom is that we can all watch the same show on repeat, and still have completely different and equally valid interpretations of canon.

Case in point my recent fic about Erik’s death not being an accident. I never for a single second considered that, and I am still firmly team Erik likes being Crown Prince and is a bit of a fuckboy, but then I saw and eyeopening post here on Tumblr and rewatched the scenes and now I can see where they’re coming from even if I don’t agree? And that is great.

Something similar happened after I posted my most recent chapter of As Long as We Have Each Other (yes it’s back!) featuring jealous!Simon and talks of Verbier, after which quite a few lovely, lovely commenters pointed out that they never considered my interpretation of the Verbier talk before, and so I thought I might share a bit more about it here for those interested.

Anyway, in the show the scene starts with Wille asking Nils about dating advice, to which Nils replies that Wille is overthinking things followed by an invitation to come to Verbier with him where he'll throw some great parties.

So well so good.

Then however comes the (in)famous What are you into? Twinks? Bears? Asians? Latinos? line and a reassurance that they'll be discreet.

That's not Nils asking Wille if he should try and hook him up with one of his twink, bear, Asian or Latino friends so that he can date one of them instead.

That's him telling Wille that no matter what he's into, it can be arranged, without bringing up some hardcore stuff which might scare him away.

Nils doesn't actually think Wille might be into bears, he's just being, hey, you want a twinky Latino? You can get that in Switzerland, but also any other type of guy you might desire and they'll do whatever you want without causing problems or a scandal.

Sure Nils is going to invite other wealthy, closeted friends around his age to hang out and bond with, not unlike a secret club. In fact he very much wants Wille to start hanging with someone that's his league, but they aren't going to hook up with each other, nor would they be looking for a relationship or love, as that would only complicate things, hence Nils going all You're thinking too much. Stop making it difficult. when Wille brings up serious relationships.

something something sexualizing queer relationships something something internalized homophobia

I do think he wants Wille to be as happy as can be and means well, but he also can't see any of them breaking the status quo. His advice is settle down with a suitable girl if you really must, and bang prostitutes abroad who've signed an NDA and know better than to ever blab to satisfy your sexual needs. That's how it's always been done and that's how it'll always be, and anything else will only cause problems.

Also hiring sex workers in Switzerland is very easy and uncomplicated, be it at a brothel, as an escort or for a private party, the only hindrance being cost, but it's not like that's a factor here.

But Wille is sixteen!

Well yeah, but they'd be going to Switzerland, where the age of consent is sixteen. (So in fact was the age of prostitution until about ten years ago, but they thankfully raised that to eighteen, and while there was talk of raising the age for hiring sex workers a few years ago, as far as I know nothing much ever came of it.)

So yeah, Nils wouldn't be doing anything illegal if he invited a sixteen year old to one of his sex parties in Verbier and let him get drunk as long as Wille stuck to beer or wine or something similar because the drinking age is sixteen as well (18 for harder stuff).

I don't blame anyone who wants to see their talk differently, but I don't think I'll ever be able to see it as anything other than sad (for Nils) and horrifying (for Wille being presented this as his only reasonable future).

Especially if you watch Wilhelm's expression there at the end?

Wille knows exactly what Nils is talking about.

He knows there'll be sex workers present if he goes to Verbier with Nils without Nils having to state that explicitly, because in their circles men having their sexual needs seen to by sex workers and mistresses is something that's always been the norm, no matter the nature of said needs, as long as they do so discretely.

Wille doesn't want that, he wants love and he wants Simon, but he also craves physical touch and intimacy, and if sex workers in Verbier are the only option? Well ... it's something he can consider if he wants to.

I'm not saying he would have gone. I'm pretty much undecided when it comes to that, or at least to him going that particular year, who knows about the future had he not gotten back together with Simon, I'm just saying he understood what was on offer and didn't immediately vehemently say no.

(he said I don't think Mom would be very pleased if it got out)

(Source: my grandmother is Swiss and I still have lots of relatives there I visit regularly, including a cousin who worked in a hotel in Davos for well over a decade and who was there for all the drama that ensued when 16yo sex workers were suddenly no longer legal bleurgh, also like, the news etc)

#wilhelm in verbier #nils young royals #prince wilhelm #young royals meta #young royals #random ramblings #fic meta #as long as we have each other

[dilfdarthvader]

The official 'OP has read 500 Merlin fics in a month' rec list

I am truly deep in Merthur hell and have recently hit around ~500 fics read for this fandom so far. As such, I wanted to compile my favorite Merthur fics so far.

(if y'all like rec lists, i might do an obikin rec list too!)

Secretary by Candymacaron

rating: E

Summary: Job-hunting has familiarized Merlin with rejection. Most of the listings in the paper require qualifications he lacks, or prior job experience no eighteen year old would have. One listing sticks out at Merlin—a simple advert, with the word ‘Secretary’ written in bold typeface. (A Secretary Movie/BBC Merlin AU in which a fragile Merlin learns to love his job, himself, getting spanked, and his boss. All in that order.)

one of the first fics i read in this fandom and!!!! it's such a good secretary au (which is always a classic for any kink readers)

The Wedding Night by s0mmerspr0ssen

rating: E

ship: Gwen/Merlin/Arthur

Summary: The consummation of a royal marriage must be witnessed by a third party. Naturally, for Arthur and Gwen, that witness is Merlin.

My bookmark note read: "did i start watching merlin for the show or for the smut fic? this fic makes me think it's the latter". This ship is just SO GOOD too.

Next to You (It's the Rule) by LunaMyLove

rating: T

summary: Arthur and Merlin have a special relationship. They always have, even when they were prince and servant. While many question it when first noticing, eventually it becomes an understanding in Camelot—and even among some other countries—that where there is Arthur, there is Merlin. And, where there is Merlin, there is Arthur. Or Arthur and Merlin's relationship as witnessed and explained by others. Also, or Five times someone realizes that Merlin is the Queen, one time Merlin realizes it himself, and one time he owns it.

such a fluffy read that had me giggling and kicking my feet in the air and twirling my hair. instant reread

all the scars at the start (I could’ve showed you) by AgapantoBlu

rating: T

ship: Gwen/Merlin/Arthur

Summary: [In which Gwaine accidentally brings Merlin's dead girlfriend back to life as a ghost. Leave it to Arthur and Gwen to overreact over every small thing, but being very chill about the very big thing.]

you'll need to be logged into AO3 to read this, but boy is it worth it. i was sobbing. full on sobbing. 10/10

Glow Gold by BelleCrow

rating: E

Summary: Merlin takes the final battle into his own hands after Mordred's blade finds Arthur's heart. Wielding power over life and death there on the battlefield, Merlin's magic is revealed. But the only surviving witness is Arthur, and he has carefully spun the tale to keep Merlin's magic a secret. The King is determined to keep it so until he can drag the truth from Merlin's lips and press his own revelations back into his sorcerer.

this fic gave me a magic kink. i had to keep pausing reading bc holy shit.

Fit for a King by Clea2011

rating: E

Summary: Merlin is a prize fit for a king. But the king he was intended for hasn't taken that prize. When the king of the faeries loses his big-eared, argumentative and troublesome bedmate, he orders his people to find a replacement. Nobody disobeys Oberon. Ever. But Merlin is Arthur's.

FAE! FICS! i love love love this fic and it was so fun and full of some fun familiar characters

so close and I'm halfway to it by ariadne_odair

rating: M

Summary: Merlin swears he doesn’t go looking for trouble, but it seems to follow him around regardless. After being ambushed by a group of bandits, it’s up to Arthur and Merlin to rescue the rest of the knights. Of course this involves journeying through a forest full of magical creatures- because nothing in Merlin’s life is ever easy. That would be more than enough for Merlin to deal with, but nights alone in the wilderness and escaping death every five minutes, have a funny way of bringing two people together. Merlin doesn’t want to reveal his true feelings to Arthur, but then he never wanted to reveal his magic to anyone, either. And look how that turned out. It's a lot easier to manage Merlin's secrets between them when they're surrounded by nothing but trees. But Arthur and Merlin will have to return to Camelot eventually. Merlin's destiny might just be closer than he thinks.

and finally, the first fic in a decade that kept me up until 2am to read. this fic made me fall in love with fics again.

#merlin #merthur #fic recs #alex reads #anyways i am having so much fun

[pigeon-smidge]

✦✩ Crowley & Aziraphale (Taylor’s Version) ✩✦

So for the past couple of months I’ve been pouring my heart and soul into an analysis masterpost of this playlist, a Crowley and Aziraphale playlist comprised purely of Taylor Swift songs. I had been curating this playlist for a little while over the latter half of last year, and around November or so I decided to write up an analysis for why I’ve included each song! Some are about a specific character, some about their relationship, and many are about both! Five-ish months and eighteen pages of analysis later, here we are. It’s been so awesome to combine probably my two biggest interests, and even if you’re not a swiftie, I encourage you to read some of this if you’d like to!! You might find some songs you really like the sound of. If you like it, please support :) I spent so long on this

The track list is as follows:

All You Had to Do Was Stay

Say Don’t Go

How You Get the Girl

You are in Love

Wildest Dreams

hoax

peace

mirrorball

Come Back … Be Here

The Very First Night

All Too Well (10 Minute Version)

The Archer

Death by a Thousand Cuts

Cruel Summer

tolerate it

champagne problems

ivy

Back to December

The Great War

Midnight Rain

Tied Together With A Smile

Don’t Blame Me

Dancing With Our Hands Tied

✩✩✩✩

Notes: song titles are in the same order as the track list. they're numbered and colour-coded by album (1989 and midnights share the same colour, as do folklore and rep because Tumblr has limited options) so it’s easier for people to find specific songs they want. They’re not in any particular meaningful order, just grouped by album. If you want to read specific song analysis, please scroll to that point, or open this post in its own window and do a page search (on mac it’s command+f , but I’m not sure about other operating systems.) Obligatory disclaimer that this is all my subjective analysis, both of Taylor’s songs and Crowley and Aziraphale’s characters. I am not making any assumptions about the creative intentions behind them, these are purely what they mean in my view. What I think is not necessarily what the creators intended. If you disagree with anything, that’s fine!! Just please don’t be rude about it. I’d love to hear what you have to say about it!! If you’ve got any thoughts or additions, please add them in a reply or reblog, and we can make it a discussion :D Check back in the future if you want, because I might be adding more depending on if I have some new ideas! ✩✩✩✩

Alright, with that stuff said, here we are!! Grab a snack and get cozy if you want, this is a long one. You can read as much or as little as you want!! I hope you enjoy :)

✦✩ Crowley & Aziraphale (Taylor’s Version) ✩✦

All You Had to Do Was Stay

Title is self-explanatory. However it fits both perspectives; Crowley begging Aziraphale to stay with him and to not leave for Heaven, and Aziraphale begging Crowley to stay with him. They both view the other as being opposed to their own plight because their failure to communicate leads to misunderstandings. Specifically the choruses are most relevant. The verses don’t really feel like they fit; they’re very, very angry and bitter, and describe a relationship that the narrator has pretty much moved on from (‘and people like me are gone forever when you say goodbye’ & ‘now you say you want it back, now that it’s just too late’ to name a few lyrics). I don’t think this is accurate to them as I don’t think they’re going to be able to move on in this way. I also don’t think they’re this angry with each other. The narrator, in the verses specifically, describes their partner in a very reductive way. ‘People like you [..]’ etc, is a very insulting way of talking. Not that either party isn’t upset with the other; I think they’re both very confused and hurt. But I don’t think they’re at the stage where they can be this vitriolic. Partially due to character reasons, and also because obviously the story isn’t going to end with them in the exact positions they’re in now (otherwise there wouldn’t be a third season and the show would be very unsatisfactory). They’re upset, but they’re resigned and bitter, as opposed to outwardly aggressive about the other. ✦ Notable lyrics: ‘You were all I wanted, but not like this’ Because Crowley wants Aziraphale but only if they can stay the same, not both angels in Heaven.  ‘Had me in the palm of your hand, why’d you have to go and lock me out when I let you in?’ Because Crowley poured his heart out and from his perspective Aziraphale didn’t think him enough to leave Heaven behind for. 2. Say Don’t Go

This is THE Aziracrow song. I had a 1989 (Taylor’s Version) listening party with my friends and when this played I went WAIT … especially the second verse and the bridge. The entire song is about begging someone to say that they want you to stay. Even though they both did tell the other they wanted to stay together, neither of them actually realised that’s what they were saying. ✦ Notable lyrics:

‘Cause you kiss me and it stops time, and I’m yours, but you’re not mine.’ The first half of the sentence being from Aziraphale’s perspective in reference to the kiss, and the second from Crowley’s, in reference to how Crowley’s much more accepting of his romantic feelings. 

‘I’m standing on the sidewalk, alone. I wait for you to drive by. I’m trying to see the cards that you won’t show.’ Because of those shots in the Final Fifteen with both of them ‘standing on the sidewalk’ watching each other from opposite sides of the road. Also, any lyrics with references to cars or driving makes me think of these two. ‘Cards that you won’t show’ is very interesting lyric, because it’s a reference to Aziraphale’s love for human magic tricks, and also to their inability to actually properly express and explain their thoughts to each other. ‘I said ‘I love you’, you say nothing back.’ Crowley’s perspective. 3. How You Get the Girl

This song is about how to apologise to someone after breaking their heart … while the breakup was not entirely Aziraphale’s fault (they BOTH need to learn to communicate and properly confront their feelings), some of the lyrics do have some similarities to their relationship.

✦Notable lyrics: ‘That you were too afraid to tell her what you want.’ He was just scared about what his feelings for Crowley mean :( 4. You are in Love

The single happy song on this playlist. Honestly, it’s a song which isn’t that specific to them and I feel like it’s applicable to every ship ever; you know, the Love Song. However, there are some lyrics in this song that have some of their vibes. The whole song is about how love is constant and yet unable to be put into words or exactly understood, which perfectly describes them. ✦ Notable lyrics: ‘He says ‘look up’, and your shoulders brush’ reminds me of someone telling someone else to look up at the stars !!! because Crowley made the stars and he was so happy about them :( and Aziraphale remembered that AHHHHHH

‘and why I’ve spent my whole life trying to put it into words’ it’s ineffable <3

5. Wildest Dreams This song is about falling in love with someone while knowing that it can never last.The relationship in this song is one that is magnetic and beautiful and messy, and the protagonist enters it while knowing it’s going to end but wanting to stay anyway. This describes their relationship perfectly. They both have a tendency to repress their feelings because they both feel like they can never be acted upon. Even them being friends is something that is constantly fraught with danger, something that they actively need to fight for if they want to keep it (See The Great War). To Aziraphale, indeed to both of them before their shared realisation of ‘this is possible’ because of Gabriel and Beelzebub’s confession, their relationship only ever existed in their ‘wildest dreams.’

✦Notable lyrics:

‘He said, “Let's get out of this town, drive out of the city, away from the crowds.” I thought, “Heaven can't help me now” Nothing lasts forever, but this is gonna take me down.’ All of Crowley’s invitations to run away; invitations that are always declined, even if Aziraphale wants so badly to go with him. There’s always a duty that pulls him away, something he feels he needs to fix before things can be how he wants them to be.

‘Nothing lasts forever’ HAHAHAHA … ‘I said, “No one has to know what we do.”’ A relationship that’s kept hidden. “He’s so tall, and handsome as hell. He’s so bad, but he does it so well.”Beauty and love that pulls you in, but feels wicked and frightening. See Cruel Summer.

6. hoax 

THE Crowley song. About loving someone who exposes your vulnerabilities; they feel like part of who you are, so they’re also your biggest weakness. ✦Notable lyrics: ‘Stood on the cliff side screaming ‘give me a reason’’ is very much ‘show me a Great Plan.’ ‘My best laid plan, your sleight of hand.’ References to magic!! Crowley prepared and tried to gain enough confidence to confess to Aziraphale and ask for them to run away together, but Aziraphale’s ‘sleight of hand’ and the Metatron’s influence messed with that. It looked like he was actually going to confess and they maybe had a chance, but then that all fell apart because he didn’t foresee any reason why Aziraphale would go back to Heaven . ‘You knew it still hurts underneath my scars from when they pulled me apart, but what you did was just as dark. Darling, this was just as hard as when they pulled me apart.’ Aziraphale ‘abandoning’ him hurt him greatly, as it felt like such a core part of him was being torn away. This is akin to what Falling would likely have been like, obviously not the same, but in both instances his sense of normal, his identity, and everything that he held dear to him was destroyed.  

‘You know I left a part of me back in New York.’Crowley and Aziraphale can both never truly leave the other without leaving ‘a part’ of themselves behind, because they’re so intertwined in each other's existences. 

7. peace

Describes how they could never find peace with each other because ‘hereditary enemies’ etc etc etc. They can’t be safe together; for a long time they couldn’t even admit their friendship because it would mean danger. We can still see this in Aziraphale; he’s constantly afraid of doing the wrong thing when he should be a good angel.

8. mirrorball

THE Aziraphale song. Perhaps one of the most Aziraphale songs of all time I'm genuinely not joking or exaggerating it's SO GOOD. About a people pleaser who revolves their life around others. Their existence and value is determined by their role in relation to someone else and how well they serve said role. The image of a mirrorball, shining high above the dancefloor, providing light and a shiny jewel for everyone to look at, yet being all alone (that Taylor Swift described was the inspiration for the song), is very fitting. ✦ Notable lyrics:

‘I’ll show you every version of yourself tonight.’ For so much of his life, Az’s purpose has been to serve Heaven. This lyric reflects that. His character growth throughout the show largely focuses on him coming to terms with their lies and abuse, and forming moral codes of his own.

‘You are not like the regulars, the masquerade revellers, drunk as they watch my shattered edges glisten.’ ‘Masquerade revellers’ referring to the angels, watching Aziraphale ‘break in a million pieces’ to serve Heaven, without understanding that he has limits and he’s his own person.

‘Hush, when no one is around, my dear, you'll find me on my tallest tiptoes, spinning in my highest heels, love, shining just for you. Hush, I know they said the end is near. But I'm still on my tallest tiptoes, spinning in my highest heels, love, shining just for you.’ Aziraphale only really acts himself when it’s just him and Crowley and they’re free of Heaven and Hell’s observing forces. Also ‘I know they said the end is near’ ; reference to Armageddon!! ‘I’m still a believer, but I don’t know why, I’ve never been a natural, all I do is try try try’ He’s trying to be good but his warped understanding of what good is hindering that. He has such a low self-esteem especially in regards to his own ‘goodness’, hence he tries so hard :( he’s just trying to do the right thing but he doesn’t realise what he believes to be right is far from it ahhhhhh

‘I’m still on that tightrope, still trying everything to keep you looking at me.’ Remember the ‘I’m standing on a tightrope, alone.’ Lyric from Say Don’t Go? He’s positioned above everyone else, on a completely different level to them, representing his isolation and unique status as really one of the only angels who’s simultaneously trying to do the right thing to help people while following the will of Heaven, things which often contradict each other.

9. Come Back …. Be Here

Long distance anthem!!!!! Them pining after each other after the s2 finale when they’re separated; it mostly feels like Crowley’s pov. 

✦ Notable lyrics: ‘taxi cabs and busy streets that never bring you back to me’ London is busy, but to Crowley, it feels empty because one of the things he loved the most is gone. ‘If I'd known what I know now, I never would have played so nonchalant.’ Because their own constant inability to confront their feelings and dancing around their relationship is what lead to their misunderstanding and then them being separated. If they had actually talked about things together, maybe they’d have a better understanding of their relationship and what the other wants.

10. The Very First Night.Nostalgia and looking back on what was. Very fitting for a show with immortal beings that features their histories together all throughout time. ‘I knew the angel you used to be.’ ‘The angel you knew is not me.’ ✦ Notable lyrics:

‘I wish I could fly, I’d pick you up and we’d go back in time, I’d write this in the sky, I miss you like it was the very first night.’ opening scene of season two, CROWLEY MADE THE STARS DKAJNS They both want things between them to be normal and safe. Aziraphale thinks that them being together in Heaven, like things used to be, would ensure this, but Crowley of course wouldn’t touch it with a ten foot pole. ‘I wish I could fly’ is interesting. Falling being akin to clipping a bird’s wings; removing them of their power. Obviously Heaven would think taking away an Angel’s Heavenly status is a terrible punishment. It’s interesting because Crowley doesn’t actually wish he could fly because he doesn’t want to be an angel again. This lyric could be representative of both of their wishes for more power to be able to change things. They both want to be able to make things better for the two of them and for everyone else, Aziraphale just thinks he has to become a better angel and embrace his Heavenly duties even more in order to make things how he wants them (‘If I’m in charge, I can make a difference.’)

11. All Too Well (10 Minute Version)

One of her most iconic breakup songs …. but this song, and the 10 minute version specifically, has lots of lyrics that remind me of them. Notable lyrics: ‘Something ‘bout it felt like home, somehow’ Aziraphale was home to Crowley, when neither Heaven nor Hell ever treated Crowley like he had a place. One of my favourite metaphors in this show is the use of Crowley’s glasses to represent his vulnerability. The bookshop is one of the only places he ever takes them off because it’s the only place he feels really safe. Him taking them off during his confession only to put them back on again when he realises Aziraphale isn’t going to follow him, and then being on during the kiss is just so symbolic!!!! AJSNBSKDNSBSK ‘You almost ran the red cause you were looking over at me’ obligatory driving lyric ‘you used to be a little kid with glasses in a twin sized bed’ Crowley used to be so happy about making the stars :( ‘Oh, your sweet disposition, And my wide-eyed gaze’ THEM !!!! More vibes of them as angels though. ‘And I was thinkin' on the drive down: Any time now, he's gonna say it's love. You never called it what it was. ‘til we were dead and gone and buried, check the pulse and come back swearing, it's the same after three months in the grave. And then you wondered where it went to as I reached for you but all I felt was shame, and you held my lifeless frame’ This entire section is them. Aziraphale could never admit their friendship or his own feelings because of his relationship with heaven. He feels ‘shame’ because it’s not what he should be doing as an angel. ‘And there we are again when nobody had to know. You kept me like a secret, but I kept you like an oath. Sacred prayer, and we'd swear to remember it all too well, yeah’ Hiding their relationship because az is afraid and it puts both of them in danger. However Crowley doesn’t have the same loyalty to heaven or hell so he keeps aziraphale like an ‘oath’ because it’s an important vow as opposed to something you have to keep hidden. Also any references to prayer is yeah !!!! ‘Well, maybe we got lost in translation, maybe I asked for too much.’ Because they never talk about their feelings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ‘They say all's well that ends well, but I'm in a new hell every time you double-cross my mind. You said ‘if we had been closer in age maybe it would've been fine’ and that made me want to die’ References to hell. Crowley thinks Az will only love him if they’re both angels (but this isn’t true, while Aziraphale does still have biases against Hell because of Heaven’s abuse -’You’re the bad guys!, etc-, he just wants them to be happy :( ) Also ‘every time you double-cross my mind’ is such a clever piece of lyricism. I’ve got nothing too deep to comment on with that one, it’s just plain clever. ‘The idea you had of me, who was she? A never-needy, ever-lovely jewel, whose shine reflects on you’ Again, Crowley thinks Az will only love him if they’re both angels. Aziraphale also deeply failed to understand that Crowley doesn’t want to go back to heaven; this section is from Crowley’s view that aziraphale only cares about him as an angel, which is partly true but he remembers how happy and safe they both were as angels, and he just wants that feeling back. ‘I'm a soldier who's returning half her weight’ fighting for a broken cause; applicable mostly to Aziraphale’s loyalty to Heaven, but could also have meaning in regards to him and Crowley (See The Great War). ‘I still remember the first fall of snow and how it glistened as it fell. I remember it all too well’ because they were together for the very first fall of rain EVER !!!1

12. The Archer This is perhaps one of Taylor’s most Crowley songs ever. His anxiety and paranoia. He’s constantly on edge, constantly worried. He’s lived consistently exposed to danger and lies in every single direction with Aziraphale being the only one he could really trust, and even then, the two of them weren’t ever fully honest with each other. ‘The archer’ is someone who is consistently ‘ready for combat’ and thus sabotages their relationships because of this and feels guilt for it. ✦Notable lyrics: ‘I jump from the train, I ride off alone.’ Crowley’s way of dealing with stressful things is to run away from them. He consistently abandons situations he isn’t prepared to deal with because he ‘never grew up’ and gained the ability to properly communicate his feelings. Him walking out the bookshop door and driving away could be a representation of him running away from his feelings for Aziraphale because the fragile hope he’d gained in the previous scene had been torn down.

‘I’ve got a hundred thrown out speeches I almost said to you.’ Because they never actually talk to each other:

‘Because you and Mr. Fell don’t ever talk to each other.’

‘We talk all the time, trust me. We’ve been talking for millions of years. Blah, blah, blah, blah. I say something brilliant, he says something unintentionally funny back, it’s great.’

‘You never say what you’re really thinking.’

‘I wake in the night, I pace like a ghost, the room is on fire, invisible smoke.’ Bookshop fire ….. also just general restlessness and inability to sleep; to rest, because he always feels like he needs to be fighting for what he has and wants otherwise he’ll lose it. 

‘All of my enemies started out friends, help me hold on to you’ Crowley’s whole life and sense of self was torn away from him and burned, and any relationships he managed to have before he Fell would have gone up in flames as well. His desperately self-sustaining and combative attitude towards existence was likely borne from this; being unsteady in anything he ever gained. Aziraphale obviously was the only relationship he really was able to ‘hold on to’,  but even the angel was never able to fully feel like he could be himself … and also, this lyric:

‘screaming who could ever leave me, darling? But who could stay? [….] you could stay.’ Except ‘he’ didn’t stay, did ‘he’?

13. Death by a Thousand Cuts

A breakup song about a relationship that you can’t move on from because it formed such a key part of you for so many years. It was ‘a great love; one for the ages’ yet you’re ‘still writing pages.’

✦ Notable lyrics: ‘I ask the traffic lights if it’ll be alright, they say ‘I don’t know’’ very much Crowley driving around aimlessly trying to fill up the space Aziraphale left behind.

‘I get drunk but it’s not enough because the morning comes and you’re not my baby.’ Because that’s also how Crowley copes with his feelings when they get too overwhelming; running away and drowning himself with drink.

‘Gave up on me like I was a bad drug, now I’m searching for signs in a haunted club.’Aziraphale doesn’t really feel comfortable admitting his relationship with Crowley. We can see that Crowley doesn’t like this through, for example, their dialogue when Crowley first asks for holy water (‘fraternising’ etc). To Crowley, Aziraphale leaving must have felt like Crowley wasn’t enough to stay for, and that Aziraphale never really loved him as much as he loved Aziraphale. Also bears similarity to Don’t Blame Me (‘Lord save me, my drug is my baby, I’ll be using for the rest of my life, oh.’) which gives the impression of love that was addicting and powerful, but it became too much. ‘Our songs, our films, united, we stand, our country, guess it was a lawless land.’Get ready because this line is so much more meaningful than I ever realised when I added it to this post. ‘Our songs’ something something nightingales.

But the real meat of this lyric lies in the second half. The phrase ‘united, we stand, divided, we fall’  is often used in mottos of organisations and countries in order to inspire collaboration and patriotism for them. It preaches the importance of staying loyal to a certain side, for if division sows among them, then they will ‘fall.’ Historically, it has been frequently used as war propaganda in WWII, and the American Revolutionary War. It has also been used in the struggle for Indian independence, by Ulster loyalists in Ireland, and by many political leaders, for example. Similar phrases can be found in the Bible, for example in in Mark 3:25 (If a house is divided against itself, that house cannot stand),  Matthew 12:25 (Every kingdom divided against itself is laid waste, and no city or house divided against itself will stand), and Luke 11:17 (Every kingdom divided against itself is laid waste, and a divided household falls).

In this song it describes the relationship between the singer and their former lover, which further animates their love as a physical nation or state (as well as a house with the lyrics ‘I look through the windows of this love, even though we boarded them up, chandelier’s still flickering here ‘cause I can’t pretend it’s okay when it’s not).

This animation and the use of this specific phrase which has been used to garner a sense of loyalty towards a cause shows their love to have been a deeply personal thing, something you pledge your devotion to. However, in this song it’s contrasted with the lyric ‘Guess it was a lawless land’ which shows that the nation and love was hollow. It fell apart due to division.

Remind you of anything? Loyalty conflicts is a big part of this show, particularly with Aziraphale’s character, who is still shown to be attached to Heaven as late in his character arc as the Armageddon storyline in season one:

‘Even if I did, why would I tell you? We’re on opposite sides!’

‘We’re on our side!’

‘There is no ‘our side’, Crowley!’

Aziraphale’s turmoil between his Heavenly duties and his feelings for Crowley (not just romantic, even their friendship) is a large part of his unwillingness to admit their closeness, but he’s also just afraid that they’ll get punished. He’s just afraid.

 ‘we could’ve been …. us.’ 

‘our side.’ 

‘a group of the two of us.’

etc , etc

Their relationship is repeatedly treated like it’s its own ‘side’ or ‘group’ that can be pledged allegiance to or deserted. This perfectly sets up Az’s character conflict and growth. It’s so GOOD!!!!!!

It also has a double meaning with Heaven’s patriotism, which has a façade of goodness but is really very corrupt and ‘lawless.’

‘But it wasn’t enough, it wasn’t enough, no, no.’Crowley tried so hard to convince Aziraphale to go with him, he did everything he could, but it didn’t work. That’s what the kiss was; not a moment of love, but a moment of desperation. A final attempt to lay everything out. But it wasn’t enough.

14. Cruel Summer

Secret relationship that makes you feel whole but destroys you at the same time. ‘Devils roll the dice, angels roll their eyes.’ Religious language. The inability for Heaven and Hell to understand love, and even just friendship, between angels and demons is possible. Hell, and the demons, ‘roll[s] the dice’, the language featuring references to gambling shows their more opportunistic nature and need to trick every situation into benefiting them, because otherwise they’re stuck at the bottom of the pile. They can risk everything on a bet that could see them losing all their money, but they don’t really have anything to lose, which makes them very dangerous (like Furfur). Heaven is more judgemental, ‘roll[ing] their eyes.’ This judgement is what Aziraphale is afraid of (and, of course, the physical retribution that follows). It’s rather akin to an abusive relationship such as between a parent and a child, with an unhealthy power dynamic and Heaven always having more control. The child is always trying to do what’s right, but their view of what is right is often in relation to what their parent has raised them to believe is right, or simply in relation to whatever will make the parent happy. This is an analogy that perfectly describes Aziraphale and his internal conflict. ‘and if I bleed you’ll be the last to know’ Az hides his distress and doesn’t like people seeing him cry. See Tied Together with a Smile (second to last song). 

‘and I scream for whatever it’s worth; ‘I love you, ain’t that the worst thing you ever heard?’’ From Crowley’s perspective, Aziraphale loves Heaven more than him, and loving him is something that is shocking and unthinkable. Aziraphale is aware and okay with his feelings for Crowley, he’s only okay with them on a very, very surface level. He’s only sort of okay with their friendship, but doesn’t want to acknowledge anything more than that. So even if a confession of love is something Aziraphale wants from Crowley, he also doesn’t want to hear because he knows that they could never work. AHHHHHHH 15. tolerate it Largely about Aziraphale’s relationship with Heaven. He gives them everything and works so hard to be a good angel but they never fully value him.  ✦ Notable lyrics: The bridge also is in reference to his and Crowley’s relationship: ‘While you were out building other worlds, where was I?’ Because they made the stars!!!!! 

‘Where’s that man who threw blankets over my barbed wire? I made you my temple, my mural, my sky … now I’m begging for footnotes in the story of your life.’ CROWLEY CROWLEY!!! Also religious imagery is just *chef's kiss*.

16. champagne problems

About a proposal that’s refused … I feel like I do not need to elaborate much on this, however it does apply to both of them, because they BOTH were offering something that the other refused. ✦ Notable lyrics: ‘this dorm was once a mad-house, I made a joke, ‘well it’s made for me’’ Crowley vibes. ‘I never was ready so I watched you go.’  Aziraphale wasn’t ready to fully turn away from Heaven, so he had to watch Crowley leave. ‘You had a speech, you’re speechless, love slipped beyond your reaches.’ Crowley tried so hard to convince Aziraphale; he knew he had to start talking first because if not he’d ‘never start talking. He knew what he was going to say, he ‘had a speech’ but it ‘wasn’t enough’ and Aziraphale ‘slipped’ away.  

17. ivy

This song is about an affair, and it’s also a very, very queercoded song. To Aziraphale, his relationship with Crowley feels like figuratively cheating on Heaven, ignoring his duties and shunning his responsibility and role as a ‘good angel’. Notable lyrics: ‘He’s in the room, but your opal eyes are all I wish to see.’ “But it’s pretty!” 💛💛 ‘So tell me to run, or dare to sit and watch what will become.’ Aziraphale’s relationship with Heaven is very mentally abusive. He will only be free of their influence if he ‘runs’ from them. He can’t stay connected to Heaven and be truly free and happy. 

‘So yeah, it’s a fire, it’s a goddamn blaze in the dark and you started it, you started it. So yeah, it’s a war, it’s the goddamn fight of my life, and you started it, you started it.’ Both of their, but especially Aziraphale’s, internal conflict symbolised through fire and war. ‘Spring breaks loose, but so does fear’ Their bond and love has remained throughout history, and with Gabriel and Beelzebub revealing their relationship, the spark of hope was lit in both of them. ‘Spring [broke] loose’ but the Metatron’s offer subsequently pulled Aziraphale away from Crowley and reignited some of the ‘fear’ that he’s spent the show trying to grow away from. 

‘He’s going to burn this house to the ground.’ Speaking of Aziraphale’s fear; he’s worried about what admitting his feelings for Crowley, romantic or even just their friendship, will mean. The danger that it will draw. This lyric also has an interesting double meaning, referencing the literal burning of Aziraphale’s bookshop.

18. Back to December.

Another song about apologising to someone for breaking their heart. ✦ Notable lyrics: 

‘You gave me all your love and all I gave you was goodbye.’ The first part of this lyric is only really relative to Crowley’s confession in the Final Fifteen, because their relationship has never really been stable; they never gave the other ‘all [their] love’ because their fear stopped them. Crowley only ever showed his love to Aziraphale because he felt like he didn’t have a choice and it was the only thing that could save them. But Aziraphale 

‘But then the cold came, dark days when fear crept into my mind.’ I initially added this lyric because it reminded me of Aziraphale, but it also now reminds me of both of them. Their own fears interfered with their abilities to accept the other’s confession and to be happy. They need to both grow and learn before they can actually have a healthier romantic relationship.

19. The Great War

The metaphor of relationship troubles and trauma being connected to war.

There are some references to said relationship troubles relating to the inability to properly confront feelings and issues, instead turning away and using silence as a punishment to avoid really having to change your relationship.

Also relevant because their relationship isn’t just a metaphorical war; there is the imminent threat of literal war between Heaven and Hell, and literal physical negative repercussions to each of them due to their love being known. The motif of soldiers is also connected to the line of ‘I’m a soldier who’s returning half her weight.’ from ATW10MV.

✦ Notable lyrics:

‘It turned into something bigger, somewhere in the haze, got a sense I'd been betrayed. Your finger on my hair pin triggers …. soldier down on that icy ground, looked up at me with honour and truth, broken and blue, so I called off the troops. That was the night I nearly lost you. I really thought I lost you.’

They are each other’s weaknesses; see hoax. Their inability to communicate their feelings lead to the breakdown of their relationship. They ‘really thought [they] lost’ each other. ‘And maybe it's the past that's talkin’, screamin' from the crypt. Telling me to punish you for things you never did. So I justified it.’

A bit part of Aziraphale’s character is his journey of developing his own sense of morality independent of Heaven’s. This is especially delved into in season two through, for example, the Job storyline and the Edinburgh storyline. However, we can see that he’s still very much under the influence of Heaven’s abuse during episode six through the way he still believes what they say about right and wrong and about the nature of Hell (‘Of course you said no to Hell, you’re the bad guys’ as opposed to ‘they’re the bad guys’). He doesn’t want to do anything malicious, and he doesn’t want to leave to Heaven, with his conflict about staying or going being quite obvious (as numerous points in the Final Fifteen he appears very tortured, frequently hesitating and trying to say things other than wanting to go back to Heaven). But he feels like it’s what he had to do, ‘So [he] justified it.’

20. Midnight Rain

This song is actually on their official playlist!!! About moving on from someone who wanted something different out of your relationship; a sentence which almost perfectly describes the way they view their relationship (of course, their misunderstanding led them both to believe the other wants something different, when in actuality they both want the same thing; to be safe together).

‘My town was a wasteland, full of cages, full of fences, pageant queens and big pretenders, but for some it was paradise’ 

&

‘It came like a postcard, picture-perfect, shiny family, holidays, peppermint candy, but for him it’s every day.’Heaven… I don’t think I really need to elaborate on this.

‘He wanted it comfortable, I wanted that pain. He wanted a bride, I was making my own name, chasing that fame, he stayed the same, all of me changed like midnight rain.’

Crowley wants them, he wants them to be ‘comfortable’ and safe, and he thinks that’ll only come if they distance themselves from both Heaven and Hell. Aziraphale also wants this, but he also can’t leave Heaven behind to the extent Crowley wants him to. He wants the ‘pain’ of belonging to Heaven’s institution and having high value there, because it’s familiar to him. It might be incredibly abusive, but it’s home to him. 

He wants to do the right thing, and he thinks that the only way to do that is to stay there. Ahhh ..

21. Tied Together With A Smile

Aziraphale song :( another one about his massive insecurities, folks. 

✦ Notable lyrics:

‘you walk around here thinking you’re not pretty’ Aziraphale always doubts how good of an angel he is and how well he’s doing what’s expected of him.

‘That you cry, but you don’t tell anyone, that you might not be the golden one, and you’re tied together with a smile but you’re coming undone.’Aziraphale doesn’t like letting anyone see him cry. He always turns away and tries to pretend he’s the ‘golden one’, trying to pretend everything is fine and he’s always doing exactly what Heaven wants, yet he is so insecure about his goodness. 

The entire second verse about him wanting love and praise from Heaven: ‘I guess it’s true that love was all you wanted […] but he leaves you out like a penny in the rain’ he’s tossed aside and talked down to by the people he works so hard to do the right thing for.

22. Don’t Blame Me Mainly this song is included because of its heavy religious motifs. It’s very reminiscent of a gospel song, also connections to Cruel Summer; ‘love made me crazy’. Of course a lot of this song is very ironic because it describes a love so strong and intense that it ‘made [me] crazy’, that you disregard everything ‘true’ and ‘right’, only doing what you feel is right in connection to your lover, nothing else mattering. However, this is absolutely NOT what happened in this show, in fact the exact reverse. I think this song describes how Crowley feels; not feeling connected to the institutions of Heaven and Hell and being willing to leave them completely behind. Perhaps it also describes a hypothetical future in which Aziraphale has grown and reached the point he can comfortably leave Heaven completely.

✦ Notable lyrics: ‘Baby I would fall from Grace, just to touch your face. If you’d walk away, I’d beg you on my knees to stay.’ Because .. because that’s what happened. They begged eachother to stay :( Also religious language. ‘I get so high, oh, every time you’re, every time you’re loving me, you’re loving me.’ Their relationship is so powerful (especially how they were able to perform the really large miracle ACCIDENTALLY). ‘Something happened for the first time in the darkest little Paradise.’ Religious language. Them being together is their own ‘little Paradise’, because, due to them being forced to hide the nature of their relationship, their relationship becomes very intimate and personal. ‘Halo, hiding my obsession, I once was poison ivy but now I’m your daisy.’ Religious language. Aziraphale helps Crowley be able to relax and to rest, letting down his guard. Crowley’s not fully able to do this, and he’s not fully willing to embrace the fact he is indeed ‘nice’, but he’s getting there. He’s still The Archer, but he can put down his bow slightly easier (but of course, the one time he fully put it down and opened up his heart, he was burned, so I don’t think he’ll be doing it again any time soon). ‘Lord save me, my drug is my baby, I’ll be using for the rest of my life, oh, oh.’ This lyric is particularly meaningful when parallelled to Death by a Thousand Cuts; ‘Gave up on me like I was a bad drug.’

23. Dancing With Our Hands Tied This song describes a love that you desperately want to be hidden yet you know that it’s only a matter of time before everyone finds out and the danger starts.To have one’s hands tied is to be unable to affect something, representing how their relationship and their own lives were always out of their control because they could never live how they wanted to without fear of retribution (an excellent metaphor for queerness). Additionally, the motif of dancing, which in this context is an intimate and notably private act between the two lovers, is happening while the lovers’ hands are tied, representing the division and conflict that intrudes even while they’re alone together (‘Something happened for the first time in a darkest little Paradise’ from Don’t Blame Me). 

✦ Noteable lyrics: ‘I, I loved you in secret.’ ‘Yeah, we were dancing, dancing with our hands tied, hands tied.’ See above for analysis of the title lyric!! This song also reminds me of them because thy did actually dance together in season 2 episode 5, which is one of my all time favourite GO episodes. ‘I, I loved you in spite of deep fears that the world would divide us. So, baby, can we dance, oh, through an avalanche?’ They couldn’t live how they wanted because of ‘deep fears’ that outside forces would ‘divide’ them, which in the end is what happened. Feeling like the world is against them (‘angels and demons, they can’t just-’)

Honourable mentions!!

Lyrics that make me think of them but there’s not enough content in the overall song to justify it being put on the playlist. They don’t have much, if any, elaboration, but if you want to hear my thoughts on any of these, let me know!! Of course I’ll add analysis to these if anyone wants them. This will probably be the section of the post that’ll be updated the most frequently, and feel free to reply or reblog with any of your additions :D 

~~

‘Just a shot, just a shot in the dark, oh oh.’ - Sweeter than Fiction, 1989 (remember the ‘I’ve known it from the very start, we’re a shot in the darkest dark’ from Say Don’t Go?)

‘Now you hang from my lips like the Gardens of Babylon. Your boots beneath my bed, forever is the sweetest con.’ - cowboy like me, evermore

‘Eyes full of stars, hustling for the good life […].’ - cowboy like me, evermore

‘And you asked me to dance, but I said ‘Dancing is a dangerous game.’ - cowboy like me, evermore

‘I knew it from the first, old-fashioned, we were cursed, we never had a shotgun, shot in the dark.’ - Getaway Car, reputation (again, the ‘shot in the dark’ lyric! Also this was my suprise song WHAT THE FUCK?!??!!?!?!?!?!?!?)

‘We were jet-set, Bonnie and Clyde, oh yeah, ‘till I switched to the other side, to the other side.’ - Getaway Car, reputation (‘We’re on our side!’ … ‘There is no ‘our side’, Crowley!’).

‘Cause lately I don’t even know what page you’re on.’ -The Story of Us, Speak Now

‘Oh, simple complication, miscommunication leads to fallout. So many things that I wish you knew, so many walls up I can’t break through.’ -The Story of Us, Speak Now 

'But I liked it better when you were on my side.' -The Story of Us, Speak Now

‘And I wouldn’t marry me either, a pathological people pleaser, who only wanted you to see her.’ -You’re Losing Me, Midnights

‘Loving him was like driving a new Massarati down a dead end street; faster than the wind, passionate as sin, ended so suddenly.’ - Red, Red

'You dream of my mouth before it called you a 'lying traitor.' - Is It Over Now? , 1989 (Taylor's Version)

thanks for getting to the bottom!! it means so much to me that you wanted to read this in any amount, you truly have no idea. here's a cookie 🍪 !!!!!

bye :D

#good omens #good omens 1 #good omens 2 #good omens show #good omens analysis #good omens meta #crowley #good omens crowley #aziraphale #aziracrow #ineffable husbands #ineffable partners #crowley analysis #aziraphale analysis #songs #spotify #music #good omens playlist #ineffable husbands playlist #crowley playlist #Taylor swift #swifties #Taylor Swift analysis #playlist #the eras tour #eras #pigeontalksgoodomens #PIGEONGO

[suzie-shooter]

Haven't done one of these for ages, but have a Screaming Meals commentary stream recap for the Formula E race on 13.01.24 with James and Clem.

J: Give them a taste of Kiwi!

[has a go at Clem for concentrating on the stream subs rather than the race] J: God knows what else I've missed in the time I've even just explained this point.

J: Oh God, someone's phoning me now, oh God I'm going to have to take this - improvise.

C: Da Costa's out. J: Oh well that's okay, he's not a client.

[on New Year] C: I'd be lying if I said I remembered much of it. J: Yeah I thought that might be the case.

C: Do you know what the biggest issue is right now? J: The…war, in… C: No, no, my tyre, on my car.

J: You really have to be careful when you're navigating crevices - Marcus has found that out the hard way.

J: If I was driving a Formula E car I'd be yawning too.

[on Clem's drive for next year] J: If you don't know then you're not looking hard enough are you.

C: I am doing ELMS and I'll be at the Daytona 24 in 2 weeks' time and so will my ever loyal acolyte James Blair.

J: What do you say to allegations that Moses came down with the tablets from the good Lord on the mountain faster than we have got the bank account paperwork back from Armstrong? I don't think Moses was up there for eighteen months.

J: God I really cock a shoulder when I do that.

[on Rick Armstrong] J: "If you aim high you can't shoot yourself in the foot" - he was talking about his girlfriend at the time.

C: Something we haven't told chat - I'm starting work in insurance, eh? J: Yeah that's true. Full on insurance agent. You heard it here first. […] All the heavy lifting's still going to be done by me, Clem's very much going to have a relationship management role. C: Which is great for me because that's pretty much all I'm good at. Chatting shit.

J: Qatar is sponsoring us? The government of Qatar. Our lives have changed Clem, we've got oil money! C: Yeah I wouldn't want to take their cash actually.

C: I always thought I'd be a great TV presenter. J: Technically that's what we're doing now. It's not far off. C: It's not exactly channel 4 but - J: No, it's better. Because we can say fuck.

J: Interesting storyline developing here, Cassidy's hanging out the back of Buemi. C: Don't know if you want to mention that on stream there. J: Well he's hanging right out the back of him, I mean look. C: Quite a graphic tale you're sort of describing.

J: He's getting his nose really tucked in to the rear end of Evans there […] this is the hottest thing happening on track right now, is Vergne hanging out the back of Evans, with Hughes looking to get involved […] trying to get up Mitch Evans. Who isn't trying to get up Mitch Evans, be realistic.

J: Maybe he wants Vergne to be hanging out the back of him. And then he'll just really open it up at the end.

J: It's a real sloppy rear end. C: Real sloppy. how's Jehan doing? J: Yeah he must be sort of running a sloppy rear end.

C: "Is James going to any ELMS races?" James is going to all of them. J: Pretty much all of them yeah. C: Who do you think's going to fucking be the entertainment factor behind the scenes? J: Yeah you know like endurance races are like long, you can't drive the whole thing. You're going to need some dicking around. We'll just be hanging out the back of the garage.

C: "What are your goals for this year?" - James. J: I really want to nail the guitar actually, hang on I was gonna share this earlier. [fetches guitar] C: Play Wonderwall.

C: Chasing Cars? J: Yes! C: I read the chat. J: Oh fuck off.

J: I think this is the G string.

J: I haven't done a lot of fingering in my time with my left hand […] I've got a lot of experience of strumming with my right hand.

J: Old Clemogio's a bit heavy in the eyelids. C: I've got to go and fucking - sort out my tyre.

#clement novalak #james harvey blair #screaming meals #screaming meals recap