#and cas is canonically in love with dean...'something i know i can't have'

[doctorprofessorsong]

Destiel fic recs

Another round of brainrot. I hope they never fix what's wrong with me.

Beggars Would Ride by Tiamatv (Explicit, 118k)

You had me at Aladdin AU. When Dean Winchester is caught stealing, he's given one chance for freedom. Go into the Cave of Wonders, grab the amulet, and get out. Things don't go as planned. Now he's got a moody ancient genie to contend with. But maybe he can use up two of his wishes and then grant the genie his wish: to be free. What could go wrong?

This fic is an absolutely delight. I laughed so hard, especially at the fun ways Tiamatv played with the SPN canon and the Disney movies. But beyond the humor is some really fantastic world building and a beautiful story about finding your way when you feel trapped by life.

Genie Cas is very cute and grumpy and sassy, and it's fun to watch him start to care. And Dean has so much heart it will make you ache. Sam and Jess are disgustingly cute but both are also whip smart and fun. And Jo (Jess’ sister in this) is the knife girl of my dreams.

This one is hard to put down.

Tourbillon Dreams by kayliemalinza @kayliemalinza (Mature, 40k)

Dean uses Bobby's life insurance proceeds to buy a hoarders house stuffed to the brim with cursed and haunted objects. But when he finds a clock that also happens to be an angel, things take an unexpected turn.

It sounds cracky and there is some delightful humor, but this fic packs a beautiful emotional punch. Dean is in his peak caretaking, competency mode and Clockstiel is adorable and entranced with Dean in a way that is just immensely readable.

There is something starkly gorgeous about the way Dean and Cas are physically so different and yet they find each other in meaningful and beautiful ways.

Love Is a Meat Loaf Song by followyourenergy @followyourenergy (Explicit, 68k)

A reimagining of canon where Dean is never saved and becomes a demon. He's bored waiting for the apocalypse when he happens upon a certain blue eyed seraph and they decide to work together.

This fic has all the delightful sassiness you expect of Demon!Dean and especially when he spends time with his frenemy, Meg. It also has just absolutely amazing angel lore and a deep dive into Cas and his trauma. All of this is wrapped up in a soft love story about two beings finding each other and seeing each other and breaking down each other's walls.

It's the entire package of funny, sincere and romantic.

Where there is Darkness by quiettewandering @wanderingcas (Explicit, 91k)

I may have popped this on at some point when it was a WIP but I have to renew my recommendation if so. Dean and Sam are lighthouse keepers, but Dean keeps driving off the third member of their team until Cas shows up. But will they be able to overcome their past to carve out happiness?

This Dean and Cas are so delicious. I am deeply fond of them both. They are fighting against so much baggage and yet they find in each other something so special. Sammy is also perfectly oblivious in the best way. It's hard to explain what makes this fic special except that it is so engrossing, you will be slamming next chapter

Valley of God by ValleyDean @valleydean (Mature, 145k)

I know. I KNOW. The MCD tag is daunting in a fic like this but I promise that while it is accurate, then ending is softer than you think and it's really the way it should end.

So there are a few things about this fic that make it absolutely delicious. First, it really delves into Cas’ trauma in a really gorgeous way. We don’t have enough fics that look at his angel trauma (we can't for me tbh) and this one uses a religious cult situation to delve into it. Second, Dean and Cas in this fic are just so messy and delightful. Dean wants to believe that Cas is good so badly. Cas wants to protect Dean the same way. It's crunchy. Finally, the atmosphere is amazing. It's creepy. It gets under your skin.

Is it dark? Absolutely. But it's also amazing.

The Darkest Sunshine by StarlightOfFandoms @starlightoffandoms (Explicit, 35k)

If murder husbands is your thing, this one is a delight of a fic. Dean Winchester is the Righteous Man serial killer, a notorious murderer who goes after monsters (in human form). People who are guilty of abhorrent crimes. But when he goes after Cas, a professor believed to have murdered several students, he discovers an innocent man being framed. Together with Cas and his team, Dean decides to find the real killer. He just has to pretend to be Cas’ boyfriend until they succeed.

The fake dating trope in a murder husbands fic was a total delight. So was the fact that Dean doesn't work alone and has a full support system to go after the worst of the worst. It's an intriguing concept done really well. Dean in this fic is an interesting blend of sociopathic tendencies, a strong sense of justice, and a willingness to do anything for those he is loyal to. Cas is intrigued by Dean and accepts him as he is. It's a really great combination.

A Weed In Any Other Place by VioletHaze @scones-and-texting-and-murder (Explicit, 63k)

On the other end of the spectrum is this fluffy rom com. There is some angst, but most of it is soft, sweet falling in love along with supportive friends and family.

Cas is a writer. Well, Cas had a book published and now he's desperately trying to write his second while convincing himself the first was probably just a fluke. Writers block is a bitch. That is until his car breaks down and he ends up at a little shop called Winchester and Son. By some weird trick of fate, it's exactly what he needs. He has the most productive day in years sitting in their waiting room. So he comes back, and keeps coming back. The extremely cute mechanic with green eyes doesn't hurt.

Cas is a disaster at social situations in a relatable way. Dean is struggling to put away some bad lessons from his dad so that he can find what he wants instead of what his father pushed on him. Both have a lovely support system. Charlie, in particular, makes me deeply fond in this fic.

i like your shoelaces (thanks! i stole them from the president) by you-cant-spell-subtext-without (ayreisha) @you-cant-spell-subtext-without (Explicit, WIP, 33k so far)

My lovely Tumblr wife is back at it, writing the most delightfully chaotic fic based on Misha's prompt awhile back for President Cas and Fast Food Janitorial Staff Dean Winchester. It's a Cinderella story and in equal parts hilarious and adorable. Also it is a Dean-saster/Cas-tastrophe pairing which is always fun plus there's a 2 person love triangle situation.

Dean's stuck in a miserable job with his only escape being his love of How I Met Your Mother and the Tumblr blog he devotes to the fandom. But when a handsome man walks in one night after hours, things heat up. Too bad the man in question is actually the President.

It's a romp and a love letter to fandom.

#destiel #deancas #destiel fic recs #deancas fic recs #destiel fic rec #deancas fic rec

[thetiredstuff]

This is just mostly a handy little post for me but I asked people to rec me some destiel AU best friends to lovers fics and this is what I got:

Recs from ltleflrt:

okay, cupid. by orange_crushed On Air by wincechesters Just Turn Around and Go by @porcupine-girl Version 2.0 by Elizabeth1985 aka @cocklesheadboop Ignore the Butterflies: Best Friend Advice from Dean Winchester by impatient14 A Match Made (and Misunderstood) by surlybobbies More Views. More Money. by herbivoredinosaur Remember When by VioletHaze aka @scones-and-texting-and-murder When In Vegas by Dmsilvis & TobytheWise

Recs from doctorprofessorsong

One of my favorite fics of all time is Evangelist by @valleydean. It's really enemies to friends to lovers but the enemies part becomes friends pretty quickly because they are deeply obsessed with each other. One of the classics if you haven't read it is To Build a Home. Childhood friends who broke up and find themselves back in each other’s life. It is very angsty but they have a lifelong friendship so you get a lot of childhood and teenage friendship moments. If I may self recommend, I just wrote Can't Fight the Moonlight in which they are in this post canon partnership and both want to add sexual intimacy but the partnership is soft so you get some really fun platonic intimacy. It's not AU, obviously, but may have something of what you want. Seraph by @dothraki-shieldmaiden is a superhero au where they are friends and roommates to lovers. It has great world building. More than Kisses by @friendofcarlotta is a friends to lovers epistolary romance. Dean and Cas are pen pals and they share an absolutely gorgeous emotional intimacy. Tiamatv has a few that fit the bill. I'm gonna mention Marchen because I love the world built in that one. Dean Winchester is a prince locked in a tower. Feel free to also skim my fic recs. @riversrecs

Recs by castiellesbian:

tiamatv's "It's the End of the World (As We Know It)" is a friends to enemies to lovers if that counts? They were childhood best friends in that one "A Midterms Night's Dream" by Englandwouldfall is an au where they're roommates (oh my god they were rommates). "In Some Sacred Place" by schmerzerling is a good one where they're friends throughout most of the fic, but it's kind of depressing overall

Recs from porcupine-girl

Just Turn Around And Go (roommates-slash-best-friends): https://archiveofourown.org/works/4228830 Like four weddings and a funeral but without the funeral (Sam POV, Sam is clueless and doesn’t realize they’re together): https://archiveofourown.org/works/6225625 Go Down With This Ship (online fandom besties, don’t realize they know each other irl): https://archiveofourown.org/works/8023642

Rec by trampledundercas

#i thought of ‘ready to fall’ by lemonsorbae on ao3

A whole bunch of recs from dean-you-assbutt-cas-loves-you

A Tale of Two Tropes by Amelia_Clark (E, 7k) As You Walk On By by MercyBraavos (E, 23k) Are We Any Different? by LeviathanBlue, SerpentCountess (T, 41k) More Than Kisses by  FriendofCarlotta  (E, 29k) things i knew when i was young by stormwarnings  (T, 16k) Alright  by  turningthepages  (T, 46k) To Build a Home by intothesilentland  (M, 383k) When In Vegas  by  Dmsilvis, TobytheWise (E, 16k) The Ocean Between Us  by  noxsoulmate  (E, 27k) Room for Two (The Mattress AU) by  almaasi  (E, 14k) Honey-Baked  by  mishaminion69, sydkn3e (E,  89k) The Ones We Choose  by  lightmyway  (E, 82k)

EDIT: MORE:

Recs by bexfangirlforlife:

The Graveyard Shift by riseofthefallenone. PurgatoryJar Evangelist by embrancsxx0 Stay with me Sweetheart by Mandalarose We are what we pretend we are by tricia_16 Tricks of the Trade by Trenchcoat_Impala

Recs by impaledbeetle:

okay, cupid by orange_crushed Seek to Know You Better (E) by ahurston Après (E) by Imogenbynight Here's a couple aus that i really really enjoy that aren't necessarily best friends to lovers: spirit of the west (M) by teen_dean Parachutes (E) by chaoticdean (this one literally changed my life it is so good) And This, Your Living Kiss (M) by opal_bullets (again, this is life changing) Roll With It (E) by saltnhalo (this is a The Proposal (movie) au) Shut Up (Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is) (E) by kototyph

Recs by butch--dean:

spirit of the west by teen-dean (everyone should read this 90's horse girl dean au where he befriends cas, a local veterinarian) I carry your heart (I carry it in my heart) by unicornpoe (I am a sucker for all "cas using dean as a vessel" fics) Après by imogenbynight (surely everyone has read this? dean and cas in paris what more can you ask for) under the midnight sun by northernsparrow (dean is the caretaker of a research station in the arctic and cas is a mysterious bird researcher) (I also rec you can keep holding on by this author but be warned that it is very grief-driven - but it is an in-depth study of the way they care for each other) though the course may change by imogenbynight (fake dating AU at a couple's retreat - another one that everyone has probably read but is so worth mentioning in case you haven't) there's no cell service in the afterlife by screamsintothesun (cas gets back from the empty and his phone blows up with dean's voicemails & texts) Gold in the Edges of Our Vision by SewingNatural (dean and cas eat peaches together on a hot summer evening. The writing style on this one is really really lovely) these are just a few from my bookmarks but also there is a really good rec list here & here (this one has a link to a specific friends to lovers list here) that I refer to often when looking for new fics/authors to dig through!!

Recs by mercurialkitty for some reason tumblr won't allow me to add them to my post so just click on their name to go to their post!

These are all the ones i've gotten up til now but will def edit if I get any more. If you see this post and think of a Destiel AU best friend to lovers fic that isn't on here or just a Destiel AU (no abo) fic that isn't on here: PLEASEEEEEE GIVE ME ALL THE DESTIEL AU FIC RECS (no abo)

Also i didn't tag the people who recommended it cuz I don't wanna annoy them but I linked back to all of their original posts or comments!

A hugeeeeeeee thank you to everyone who replied to my annoying messages for fic recs cuz I really really appreciate it. thank you all so so so much!!!!

#to read #destiel #i love my husbands #spn #supernatural #destiel fan fic #spn fan fics

[geekthefreakout]

So, I've been having this thought.

Crowley, perhaps post-bookshop divorce, is sitting in a pub or a coffee shop and the server calls his name, but they say it wrong.

They pronounce it like with the "ow" sound, like in Supernatural. And Crowley, mildly miffed, is like "where did you get that from?"

And the server is a Supernatural fan and explains that there's a demon named Crowley-like-owl-not-crow who helps stop the apocalypse.

And Crowley is like "imagine that. That's weird. Say more."

And the server explains a bit. How SPN!Crowley is this demon who is aware that should the big fight happen, he won't be counted among the winners regardless of which way it goes, and he just wants the world to keep on as it is, so he joins forces with the Winchesters and their renegade angel to stop it. He becomes King of Hell after to fill the power vacuum (and here GO!Crowley gives a bitter scoff) and he is both a villain and a hero and sometimes neither of those things.

Crowley inquires more about the angel, Castiel, and the server enthusiastically describes him. They remark that Crowley(spn) and Castiel have a fun dynamic, because they hate each other but also have to work together, because they're in love.

Crowley looks dumbfounded, and of course the server can't know why, but they do clarify that they are in love with Dean, not each other. Dean being a stand-in for humanity, of course, which is how the show runners wanted you to see it.

"But then at the end they FINALLY let Cas be all the way gay for Dean. Like, a decade of subtext and queer baiting denial, and FINALLY with 2 episodes left in the whole show, they let Cas tell Dean that he cares about humanity because he cares about Dean. Like, he actually gets to tell him he's in love with him."

A pause.

"Well, and then he gets sucked directly to Turbo Hell, so. That sucked. It went canon in THE most homophobic way possible, which is kind of on brand for the show--"

"Turbo hell?????? What is that, the tenth circle?"

"Oh, the place that angels and demons go when they die. The Empty. They don't get an afterlife, they just sleep forever and dream about the bad stuff. It's pretty awful, but Cas gets rescued from their off screen by the end so at least that's something-"

"What about the demon?"

"Oh, Crowley-like-owl? He got killed off for good at the end of season 12."

Crowley-like-crow stares through his sunglasses and the server elaborates again. For some reason, they haven't been called to other tables for anything the entire time they've been speaking.

"It was a good death, I think. He died to save the boys and trap Lucifer in another dimension- it's complicated. But he got to say that he actually hated being King of Hell, and he hated Lucifer, and he got to go out on a good deed. I think the actor was tired of the writers playing around with the character's arc. Walking back development, never committing to what they wanted to do with him... And that led to Crowley being kinda inconsistent and underappreciated. So he asked to be killed off and he walked away from the show."

"Huh. Shame, that."

"Yeah, everyone missed him. There are some characters that I REALLY wish he'd gotten to meet. And I also wish that he got a little more love."

"He was a demon. Love's not exactly in their repertoire."

"It's not supposed to be. It was, though. Cas practically invented free will because he loved Dean. And I guess Crowley also didn't fit into the mold God had set for him, either."

"I suppose God's Plan is... Ineffable in the show."

"I mean. Kinda at first? But the last season God is fully the bad guy."

"WHAT??"

Anyway, Crowley watches Supernatural and has no idea if he hates it or not. He probably does. But somehow, Crowley-like-owl and Castiel and their often unappreciative charges make his heart ache. He deliberately notes all the ways that Castiel is nothing like Aziraphale, thank you very much. He supposes he's glad that Adam never turned either of them into action figures.

He watches and he tries not to wish Aziraphale was watching with him.

#good omens #supernatural #sam writes stuff #idk just had this thought #crowley good omens #crowley spn #destiel #drowley #ineffable husbands #aziraphale #aziracrow

[vendettasfanfictioning]

I need more fics framing The Rupture as something necessary for destiel—it hurt like a fucking bitch, sure, and it was a low blow for Dean to hit Cas exactly where he knows Cas hurt most (in being the problem or a burden), but also. Looking at it from Dean's perspective, it really did feel like a move that old, early-seasons Cas would do; withheld information, acted on his own, took risks that could cost others.

And when it all piled up? From Jack's soulless behaviors directly killing Mary, to the deal with Belphegor in hell costing them Rowena. Again, hard agree that it was one of the most painful lines dropped in the show (especially so if you remember that this is post-Empty deal), but context guys, context.

Plus, I believe this separation wasn't only long-time coming but also a pretty important addition because what is destiel if not a pair of stubborn idiots who can't communicate. That's not to say an argument is necessary to talk (it can be, in certain situations, sure) but they've been on different pages since Cas came back in S13.

The center of their disagreement seemed to mostly lie in their belief in Jack. I can't remember a time they really sat down and smoothed things out so much as they avoided talking about what happened during the Widower arc altogether, and that's when the wound really began to fester. (It didn't help that they had to deal with so many problems all at once; the Brits, Asmodeus, Apocalypse World, Lucifer, then AU Michael...)

Here is what we know that Cas believed (from the canon narrative): Jack formed a bond with Cas, even before he was born he somehow showed Cas a possible future; paradise. It's the same power, perhaps a protection mechanism with nephilim seeing as God labeled them as Abominations, that turned Kelly as well. What we know Cas saw (from the deleted scene/script): Cas' paradise consisted of everyone he loved, his family, being safe. This included Sam, Kelly, and Dean on a beach, with more focus on Dean as he tells Cas, "thank you."

From what we could see that Cas did not, Dean had enough resentment against Jack that wasn't going to magically go away overnight. Jack hadn't formed the same bond with Dean that he did with Cas.

What happened before Jack was born: Heaven and Hell both sought out Jack for their respective goals, an innocent woman was going to die from the sheer magnitude of giving birth to a Nephilim, and Cas left by what Dean assumed was delusions and manipulations. What happened when Jack was born: Mary fell into a portal to a different universe—a rift that only opened due to the anomaly and power of Jack's existence—Kelly died, and Cas got stabbed right in front of him.

And this isn't to discredit Dean's love for Jack, when he did allow himself to love him or see him as family, but you can love someone and still resent them or feel bad about them. Moreso during extreme circumstances, however unfair or illogical it may be. Again, did they ever really talk? Maybe my memory is failing me but I'm pretty certain they didn't, or at least never in great detail, or came to an agreement about it.

Dean and Cas... just had so much dirty laundry and Rupture made sure they aired it all out. But I think we, as a society, would benefit greatly from not framing Dean as the big bad villain here or Cas as some poor innocent bean. Supernatural's theme was never about brotherhood or family, it's about how shit could have been so much easier if they just communicated.

#thank you for coming to my TED talk #i may be slightly drunk so take my words with a grain of salt #a pinch perhaps #but nothing more #i do think that dean deserves more leeway esp since haters looooove bringing it up in destiel discourse #dean loved cas too he fucking reciprocated no doubt about that #but that's a different rant #this one's about rupture specifically mmhmm #i wanna do an actual dean and jack study ngl but goddddd im currently buried under 3 major petas and some club work lmao #I HAD ONE MORE POINT TO ADD BUT I FORGOT BETWEEN MY THIRD AND FIFTH REFILL LMAO #spn #destiel #spn 15x03 #15x03 #the rupture #dean winchester #jack kline #castiel #dean studies #spn meta #spn rant

[locke-esque-monster]

You know what I find really fascinating about the destiel confession? The entire discourse about if it's canon or not.

Let's ignore those who say Cas's speech wasn't romantic love for the purposes of this post (though I beg them to try to limitus test I've seen of giving that speech to a platonic friend or relative and it not being uncomfortably weird).

I'm talking about how the argument I've seen, both by Destiel shippers and non-shippers it isn't canon if Dean never responded.

And like yeah - that's fascinating.

First because it means everyone has their own definition of canon. Is it someone confessing their love to the person they're in love with? Is it both parties confessing? Is it a physical action like a kiss or sex? Do you have to have both the love confession and the physical act or will only one suffice? Is it someone acknowledging to themselves or another 3rd party their love for someone even if it's not to the person in question?

We all have our own definition of canon intrinsically and this one happens to fall in an incredibly loose gray area.

And that's because there's the other limbo of this confession in Dean's lack of response. I actually can think of no other example of a show that does anything like this (though if they exist I'd love to know). Any other show would have something definitive at some point of Dean acknowledging the sentiment. Dean confessing back. Dean telling Cas he loves him, but as a friend. Dean telling someone after Cas's death he was in love with Cas. Dean being confused by Cas's confession and him dealing with that love after the fact that he doesn't share. Dean acknowledging afterwards he doesn't know how he feels about Cas's confession. Quite literally - any verbal acknowledgement either during or after the fact this confession happened.

And it doesn't exist. It's Schrodinger's confession. Or maybe Schrodinger's response. We all (Destiel shippers) assume the cat is dead because all evidence points to the fact (it's been in the box 3 years after all). But there are factions pointing to the lack of proof because it isn't official because we haven't looked in the box. And frankly, a lot of people would love to look in the box, find out definitively, but it's not an option on the table. The box isn't in our hands to check.

So instead we treat it like a knock of "Shave and a haircut" without the two knock response. If there's a call, there has to be a response. And we all fill in what we assume the last two knocks are based on our own individual definitions of canon and fight over why our knocks don't match someone else's.

And, on top of that, Cas's confession is all about the being and not having. We can be in the moment and enjoy this ship is canon. But we also can't actually have it (it being a concrete response, a kiss, a happy ending) as much as Cas couldn't. It's prophetic - breaking the 4th wall by accident - it's something almost not quite nothing - regardless there's something about the parallel here that's telling about the ship itself.

So yes, while the shipper in me is eternally torn between this being somehow both terrible and great, the English major/secret TV critic in me finds this terribly fascinating.

#credit to a comment i saw today that called destiel only “canon” if you consider a stalker confessing their love a relationship #my soul died a little #like even if you don't ship it that's a disservice to cas's character and memory #and that inspired me clicking some existing discorse i had on the subject into me trying to understand that kind of response #or at least general fandom discourse bouncing around in my brain for awhile #spn meta #spn #supernatural discourse #supernatural #destiel #deancas #castiel #dean winchester #nov 5th #november 5th #november 5 2020 #schrodinger's cat

[markofcastiel]

So just found a major Destiel parallel that kinda blew my mind

Besides Cas do you know who also says "I know what I want... but I can't have it" to Dean Winchester, also talking about how they want Dean in a romantic way?

Lisa Braeden!

In 6x04 Dean tells her "ask for something" and she says she can't ask for something because she already knows Dean can't give her what she wants - in her case, what she wants is for him to stop hunting to stay with her. But Sam is back and his mind is fucked so she already knows Dean will never be able to give her that. And Dean also knows that.

So when Cas says he already knows he can't have what he wants it's a huge parallel to Dean once again losing someone he loves for 'being unable' to give them what they need and want. But, in Castiel's case, the one thing he is asking for is to be loved back in a romantic way.

Maybe canon Dean never considered the possibility that Cas could ever love him in that way. Or maybe it wasn't the first time Dean has thought about it (about "experiencing new things... people... in different ways or maybe for the first time ever") but always thought he couldn't give Cas what he needed and wanted: someone soft, someone kind, and most of all is worthy™️ - all things I'm sure Dean Winchester doesn't think he is

But then Cas tells him that all he wants is to be loved, nothing else. it's that easy, that simple. Point A to point B. And, as if it wasn't enough, he reveals that he does think Dean is soft, and kind, and the Worthiest of The Worthy.

Now consider: if the 'ask' is so small and so easy, maybe Dean would be able to give that to Cas after all if he had time.

Hence Dean's little desperate "don't do this"

Because it's a 'not now', 'not like this'. Don't do this - don't tell me it's that simple when you're about to leave forever.

Anyway how the hell did we miss this parallel?

#or at least i did #i had completely forgotten about that scene with Lisa #destiel #15x18 #post 15x18 #spn 15x18 #lisa braeden #cas x lisa parallels #didi rambles on

[rubbishben]

NO ONE WILL EVER DO IT LIKE CASTIEL AND DEAN WINCHESTER EVER AGAIN. i hate them. the parallels and the hitting the core of self-doubt and the journey the history the CALLBACKS and i need to stop but i mean c'mon "you changed me" SHUT UP. "i cared about the whole world because of you" WHAT A MITSKI WANNABE. "the most selfless, caring man on earth" SO WHIPPED (DEROGATORY). "i love you" OH YEAH????? THAT WOULD BE NICE IF YOU DIDN'T DIE LIKE 5 SECONDS LATER. don't even get me STARTED on "STILL BEAUTIFUL. STILL DEAN WINCHESTER." THIS IS WHY CAS KEPT GETTING HATECRIMED FOR LIKE 12 SEASONS. misha's performance in itself was KILLER. that's not even to mention what began to break me when i was trying to be all chill in the first place: "i've always wondered what my happiness would look like -- because the one thing i want is something i know i can't have. but then i reALISED IT ISN'T IN THE HAVING. IT'S IN JUST BEING. IT'S IN JUST SAYING ITTTTTTTTTTTTSJSHSHAHAGAGAGAGAGAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH. HHAHAHAHAHA." AS SAM ALWAYS SAYS 'ENOUGH'. THAT'S FINE AND DANDY AND ALL BUT IT WOULD ALSO BE MUCH BETTER IF YOU DIDN'T, AGAIN, LIKE DIE 5 SECONDS LATER 😂😂😂 BUT THEN AGAIN I SUPPOSE THAT'S THE WHOLE POINT RIGHT. doomed from the start. bound to be taken as soon as he was happy. as soon as he gave himself permission to be happy. AND WAIT I WAS GOING TO START ON DEAN ALSO AND HOW IT JUST HIT HIM BUT I SAID LIKE 50 WORDS AGO THAT I NEED TO STOP SO. anyway yes! i'm still in shock that it's even canon so

happy november 5th.

#destiel #spn #deancas #casdean #november 5th #nov 5th #supernatural #going ferel #hate them hate them #dean winchester #castiel

[stonelions]

forgive me i just want to ramble about some of my rationale behind my wip for a minute. i know, i know the neighbour fellas perhaps fall into some characterization ruts that are more products of "fanon" or don't entirely align with their canon selves, but.

dean. he's softer and sweeter because he had more love, less abuse (no john, a lot more time w/ bobby), he had more support, his interests and nerdiness were encouraged, but he still had to grow up faster than is entirely fair (to make sure baby Sam had Someone Responsible around), and took a while to sort out his bisexuality (because man. in the early 2000s? it simply wasn't acceptable. people either didn't believe you, or they ostracized you for it), and of course he has that intense dean winchester GUILT of always falling short and failing his loved ones even when he really... hasn't. it just isn't enough, in his mind, because let's face it the guy wants to give everyone the world.

cas is... a different animal. i know folks are tired of him being cast as dean's therapist but, this cas, this middle-aged trans cas... the amount of self-reflection and introspection and interrogation of needs/wants vs 'enduring to avoid alienation or outright harm' vs 'my survival depends on this' that trans people have to go through... this cas knows himself to the bone. he's done the work. he's made a quiet little life for himself. he's not perfect, he's weird, he's really just some guy but he's emotionally intelligent and he can see when other people are jammed up against something that's hurting them because he lived like that for decades. he also knows you can't save anyone but he's aware of how important it can be for somebody to stand at the top of the latest hole you've fallen into to be like, hey. this is not your grave, right? you need. a coffee? kombucha or something? i am here when you climb out. and if you can't climb out, i'll still be around. i'm around.

ANYWAY. yeah. just. these have been... parts of my thought process while building the story;;;

#if only maybe and then #untitled neighbours au #destiel #fic

[itsclydebitches]

With all the talk about Blake's bisexuality lately, I wanted to revisit the stream where this is "confirmed." I think it's really important not only that Blake's sexuality hasn't been confirmed in canon yet -- a fact which RWDE fans have explained ad nauseum and I won't rehash here -- but that our external "confirmation" is so tentative that it still leaves room for doubt. And that right there is the problem.

That video includes:

Arryn initially ignoring Blake's sexuality as a similarity between them because she "wasn't sure she was allowed to say that." If this were a 100% confirmed, established, 'We planned it from the beginning' bit of characterization, there wouldn't be any hesitation about what they're "allowed" to discuss in a stream. I'd understand the hesitation a little better if Blake/Yang were getting confirmed in the upcoming Volume and the crew was avoiding spoilers... but that wasn't the case.

"I think it's pretty obvious." You're either confirming a fact or you're not. Why the emphasis on what the audience should "obviously" be taking away? And as established, after the Golden Age of Queerbaiting there is no "obvious" reading when homophobic writers and executives can dodge a confirmation at any time.

"I confirm nor deny canonically, but in my headcanon? Oh, that's a whole other story!" This is LITERALLY dodging a confirmation. We are told outright that the crew cannot confirm that Blake is canonically bisexual, but they do support it in their own, RWBY imaginings. That's great! That's also, as explicitly stated, not canon.

The video link I could most easily find is attached to a RWBY Reddit thread titled "Arryn has basically confirmed once and for all that Blake is bisexual." There should be no "basically" in that sentence.

This is why so many fans are wary: because these kinds of "obvious" implications without an explicit confirmation is the definition of queerbaiting. That's what you do if you want your audience to stick around without actually producing a queer relationship. You put a blush here, a forehead touch there, a nudge-nudge-wink-wink from a VA, a comment about bisexual bobs, a ship-inspired song, a "Wait and see ;)" and, and, and ... and then you end the show with nothing ever coming of it. Or, it's a last moment addition so the writers never have to actually write the relationship. This is why Supernatural was (and in many ways still is) the most overt example of queerbaiting. It's not because fans saw the potential for a relationship between Cas and Dean, but the writers never capitalized on it; it's because the writers LOADED the story with "obvious" references and innuendos, spent YEARS having Misha, Jensen, and other cast members talk about the "obvious" love between them... and then just continued on their merry way for fourteen years, doing nothing with it, before throwing out a one-sided confession + death in the final hour. Fans were taught precisely how "obvious" a queer character can be without actually existing.

As a bisexual woman watching RWBY, I want confirmation of this relationship and, furthermore, I have more hope for one than I would have a decade ago. I'd be more willing to put my money on these "obvious" references amounting to something in 2023 than I would have back in 2005. But those of us who are old enough to have been active in fandom during that time know that just because many shows have gotten better about their queer rep doesn't mean that every show is going to follow in their footsteps. I do wonder how many fans who take a "basically" as undeniable confirmation are on the younger side, with "younger" meaning... under 25? Because I can't imagine anyone who was immersed in popular media back then coming in with such confident takes built on so very little, or having such faith in a company with RT's reputation. We've been blessed with the likes of She-Ra, Owl House, Steven Universe, The Last of Us, and a wealth of other stories that have fought for and/or introduced queer rep, and I wonder if those raised on that bounty literally can't picture a show that would tease a popular ship so extensively and not bring it to fruition. The unexpected downside of getting more canonical rep is that there's a generation of viewers who are ignorant -- or at least appear ignorant -- of the history that gave us shows like Supernatural, Sherlock, Teen Wolf, Buffy. And if you're older still, you're familiar with the age of television when a canonically queer character wasn't even a possibility, but that didn't stop writers from both building the show around fans' desire for representation. Sometimes that was done kindly with coding that, legitimately, was the most they could hope to air and showcased the writers' own desire to diversify television... and sometimes it was cruel.

I've said a hundred times that I hope Blake/Yang shippers aren't hurt in the way so many older fans have been, either due to deliberate queerbaiting, or RWBY getting cancelled before a relationship can truly develop. We all deserve to have such prominent confidence in writers treating their queer characters well. But we can't allow hope or personal certainty to blind us to reality, not when that's resulting in a completely unnecessary antagonism within the fandom. And the reality is that no, Blake hasn't been confirmed in the show and her "confirmation" outside of it does not meet many fans' standards -- for very understandable reasons. I can say categorically that I have never seen anyone erase Blake's bi identity because that identity doesn't truly exist yet. The ambiguity of her attraction to Yang is precisely why queerbaiting is a problem and why RWDE folks call so loudly for a 100% canonical relationship: it's too easy to shrug off such moments as a "sisterly" thing, to use the unfortunate words of Arrowfell. And if you scoff and go, "What? Sister don't act like that!" then you don't understand queerbaiting. You don't understand the history of shows writing THE most "obvious" coding you've ever laid your queer little eyes on and then going nowhere with it. That's the point. That's the point! The entire point is to make the relationship as "obvious" as possible so that fans will stick around, praise the show, celebrate rep early, push everyone else to watch it...

...and then fall apart when the relationship never happens.

I hope to god that's not RWBY's future, but after three years of just a single hint each (hand-holding, blush, Blake's fury over Yang's "death") and the lack of hints in the Volume 9 trailer, please don't go after fans who don't have unwavering confidence in the girls' queerness being canonical. Posts that acknowledge Blake's attraction to men, ambiguous attraction to Yang, or point out the comparative wealth of straight confirmation compared to the queer coding aren't attacking queer fans. Those posts are written by queer fans who know precisely how quickly the "obvious" ship can get tossed aside. Or worse, the queer character never really confirmed as queer in the end.

RWBY can ditch Blake/Yang. They can shrug and say that a bi Blake was just Arryn's headcanon -- weren't you listening when we said it wasn't canon? They can make sweet apologies and explain that they never intended the animators to make that so romance coded. You know, just like they never meant for Clover to wink at Qrow. Real talk: I personally can't imagine having this much faith in the show after that fiasco. We got the EXACT same kind of coding (wink + bashful look + "obvious" romance tropes like their opposite semblances) and the ending was Clover dying a bloody death, Qrow hating him, and the writers backpedaling from the idea of an attraction like nobody's business. That set off SIREN alarms in every RWBY fan I know who understands queerbaiting history, but so many others appear ignorant to the warning signs. I'm not saying examples like this means we won't get queer rep in the title team, I'm saying it explains others' hesitation. RT has made no promises, is not beholden to their fanbase, and does not have a good history with its queer rep or its queer employees. If you're a queer fan who has confidence in bi Blake in the face of all that, fantastic, more power to you, but those who are wary aren't your enemy. They're also queer fans, just those who have been burned enough in the past and have learned not to put their whole heart into what they might not get. What we're likely to get? Probably, but you know what they say about counting chickens...

I just wish fandom was better about learning from these past experiences -- listening to older fans and acknowledging that history with an open mind -- rather than learning through another awful, first-hand experience. Though I'm crossing all my fingers and toes that this never happens, I wonder how many RWBY fans might be fruitlessly warning others someday if their queer rep crashes and burns.

#rwde #rwby #mymetas

[jinkieswouldyoulookatthis]

Rant about folks' interpretations of Dean's sexuality below the cut

So in canon, Dean identifies as het. In canon, even though they have an impossible (even for them) to properly define relationship, even they know that "brother" seems inadequate, Sam and Dean are not romantically or sexually attracted to each other. Even though, in canon, we are never shown a single moment of definitive attraction between Dean and another male character that isn't fraternal/platonic or aesthetic in nature, folks still insist that Dean can't be straight. They look at how he prioritizes fraternal friendships over any other type of relationship, how he idolizes masculinity and all its tropy trappings, and they claim that means he must be, at least unconsciously, attracted to men in a romantic or sexual way. But what this does is brush off the existence of any other types of attraction as if they are less than sexual/romantic attraction. Platonic/fraternal and even aesthetic attraction are not weaker, or secondary, or of any less importance. And treating them as nothing more than indicators of other types of attraction is fucking insulting. Platonic attraction is just as valid and desirable as sexual or romantic attraction. It is just as fulfilling. It is just as healthy and normal and good. One of the things that makes Dean's character so fascinating is that he is not primarily motivated by sexual or romantic attraction. Obviously he feels sexual attraction... to women, as has been well and thoroughly covered by the text of the show. And while we don't see nearly as much about his romantic involvements, we do see him get incredibly, adorably schmoopy towards both Cassie and Lisa, and other women who are sweet towards him. So despite his claims that he doesn't do chick flick moments we're also shown just enough to know that isn't entirely true ("You love chick flicks." "Yeah, I do."). But what we are shown is very strong familial bonds, primarily fraternal, that he prioritizes above everything else. Brother and brother-in-arms relationships are the cornerstone of who Dean Winchester is. <- THIS IS A FEATURE NOT A BUG. The rampant homoerotic subtext of the show makes this feel very confusing, makes it feel like there is more there than we are being shown, because that's what subtext does. But it is really, vitally important that subtext never, ever be confused with the text, because the text is (generally) objective while subtext is always subjective. Now, I say text is generally objective because the reliability of the narrative voice can change this, but until the text tells us something, all we are doing is making interpretive guesses at what the subtext may mean in relation to the text. So even if a viewer is picking up on something possibly more going on between Dean and Sam, or Dean and Cas, or Dean and Benny, or Dean and Crowley (although there is a strong argument to be made that Dean actually had sex that directly involved Crowley, which is entertaining to me because Crowley is, I think, the only character this can honestly be said of, but even still there is zero text stating that Dean was ever attracted to him in a sexual way), or really Dean and any other character because, let's face it, Dean has chemistry with everyone and everything on screen with him, that does not mean that there actually IS anything more going on between them. Full stop.

#ship and let ship #but #canon is canon #fanon is not canon #subtext is subjective #your headcanon is yours to play with how you please but that doesn't make it canon #proship #dean winchester

[angelsdean]

less than 2 hrs til the winchesters finale so here are my quickfire last minute predictions / theories / questions

we'll find out where this is all *really* taking place. is this actually earth, 1972, canon timeline or are we in an alternate universe / is this all happening in the empty or fake heaven or some other third, fourth, fifth thing ???

we'll find out (some) of the reasons for dean doing this in the first place. why did he knock over that first domino? why is he here? what's his endgame? hopefully we'll get a CRUMB of an answer

WHERE IN THE WORLD IS DEANNA CAMPBELL??? for the past like week or so the deanna-is-the-akrida-queen-vessel theory has been growing large in my mind and i swear...........deanna is either gonna show up w/ samuel to help them take down the akrida or she will be revealed as the queen (and possibly be thee cliffhanger bc mary cannot kill her!!)

WHAT are the akrida and what do they really want? if this *is* the canon timeline on earth and not taking place in the empty / heaven / some illusion then my theory is that the akrida ARE somehow linked to the empty or chuck / amara.

will we see a surprise spn guest other than dean ?? since mary said they were 'out-numbered' in the trailer i've been thinking they're gonna try to get all hands on deck (which is why i think IF deanna is not the queen then we might see her come in to town to help with the fight). which also makes me think maybe they'll try to utilize ALL their resources and they *do* have a trickster god (who may or may not be an archangel) trapped in a mirror rn. and if they DO call on Loki to help them well that would fit nicely with my last big theory....

TIME LOOP FINALE. you can read my whole post about it here. but the gist of it is, they realize they can't stop the invasion or defeat the akrida but they *can* contain it, in a time loop. so as soon as the akrida start invading, the time loop starts (perhaps courtesy of Loki / Gabriel) and takes them back to the day john and mary meet (and the day john gets the letter from dean). this would be the easiest way imo to do what robbie said which is, close out the season in a way that it Could stand on it's own as an ending w/ not too many huge cliffhangers if they don't get renewed, but also remain open and with enough intrigue to allow for more seasons.

clownery and misc questions / theories i have that probs won't get addressed unless there's more season:

my main realistic destiel clownery / prediction is that we may hear dean mention his buddy / best friend in his narration (or when we see him in person). i could easily see him narrating and saying something like "my best friend once said good things do happen" or some other obviously cascoded quote about love / friendship / family / free will that we may not have heard in spn but like, you just know he's talking abt cas.

what is up w/ the samulet? is he using it to try to warn if god is near or is it literally just a prop to appease the sam girls / j//2s djfkdgfd

i think dean will leave the impala to john and mary creating a loop where the impala was always *his* baby. (also it fits well with that dream jensen had abt the spn finale)

rowena is *our* rowena and she's time-traveling / universe hopping / whatever too. possibly in cahoots with dean (tho it would be hilarious if not)

#spn prequel #spnwin #spnwin theories #vic.txt

[dotthings]

Here's my post about Dean and the hunting life and unreliable narrators to pair with my Sam post.

In S4 while a demon manipulates Sam, angels are manipulating Dean. In 4.17 It’s a Terrible Life (written by Sera Gamble), after a despairing Dean confesses to Cas at the end of 4.16 On the Head of a Pin that he can’t do what the angels want, he’s not strong enough, Zachariah tries to nudge Dean to play his role by plunking him and Sam into a corporate boredom life Dean doesn’t want, and then tries to shame him into playing the role Zachariah wants him to play.

ZACHARIAH But after the unfortunate situation with Uriel, I felt it necessary to pay a visit. Get my ducks in a row. DEAN I am not one of your ducks. ZACHARIAH Starting with your attitude. DEAN Oh, so, what? This was all some sort of a lesson? Is that what you're telling me? Wow. Very creative. ZACHARIAH You should see my decoupage. DEAN Gross. No thank you. So, what? I'm just hallucinating all this? Is that it? ZACHARIAH Not at all. Real place, real haunting. Just plunked you in the middle without the benefit of your memories. DEAN Just to shake things up? Hm? So you guys can have fun watching us run around like ass clowns in monkey suits? ZACHARIAH To prove to you that the path you're on is truly in your blood. You're a hunter. Not because your dad made you, not because God called you back from hell, but because it is what you are. And you love it. You'll find your way to it in the dark every single time and you're miserable without it. Dean, let's be real here. You're good at this. You'll be successful. You will stop it. DEAN Stop what? The apocalypse, huh? Lucifer? What? Be specific, man. ZACHARIAH You'll do everything you're destined to do. All of it. But I know, I know. You're not strong enough. You're scared. You got daddy issues. You can't do it. Right? DEAN Angel or not, I will stab you in your face. ZACHARIAH All I'm saying is it's how you look at it. Most folks live and die without moving anything more than the dirt it takes to bury them. You get to change things. DEAN turns away. ZACHARIAH Save people, maybe even the world. All the while you drive a classic car and fornicate with women. This isn't a curse. It's a gift. So for God's sakes, Dean, quit whining about it. Look around. There are plenty of fates worse than yours. So are you with me? You wanna go steam yourself another latte? Or are you ready to stand up and be who you really are?

“This isn’t a curse. It’s a gift.” Notice Zachariah trying to glamorize hunting at Dean when it’s canonically traumatizing, dangerous, and often miserable, and telling Dean to “quit whining” and suck it up because there are people worse off, while Zachariah reduces Dean’s entire personality to nothing but the hunt, referencing perks that are a simplistic take on who Dean is—the facade not the whole person. There's something not right here.

Zachariah also isn't entirely incorrect. Dean does love hunting and he does always find his way back to it and Dean’s good at it, and they get to save people. The manipulative villains in SPN often use a core thread of truth and then twist it.

But much as it’s true about Dean’s affinity for hunting, Dean’s questioning of hunting, his conflicted feelings, his love and resentment for it, the brutality of that life that SPN self-evidently shows us, has been a long-running theme in every era of SPN. Dean yearns for and thinks about things beyond just hunting. Which doesn't include working as a suit. Zachariah picks that to push Dean towards hunting, it's not meant as an exploration of Dean's deep wants and needs beyond the hunt.

Dean would never be content leaving hunting for good, but he does have an ongoing love/hate relationship with it, and it’s not all he is.

He’s more than just the hunt and the kill. Deep down Dean has known that all along, but fears that’s all he is. Zachariah was wrong. For Dean, hunting is a curse AND a gift and it never has been all gift or all curse for him.

#Dean Winchester #Dean meta

[autisticandroids]

@pingnova replied to this post:

One of the things I like the most about your interpretations of spn and destiel is that they're both "bad people" and that's interesting. I was explaining to a friend how I loved some comedies bc all of the characters are "bad people" so when the slapstick and pettiness happens back and forth I can just laugh at all of them. it goes further for me (all humans are flawed and probably seem irredeemable and disgusting to someone else, no matter what). but I have never…

…been into interpretation that relies on characters being "right" or essentially perfect and sinless. I find drama between sinless characters utterly boring and contrived. I like characters that are messy and human. its a good reminder for me about myself and makes entertaining stories. sometimes when i talk about a character friends mistake me for criticizing them because I talk about their flaws. nah, I think it's great they're assholes. they're fictional, the only..

...place I want to deal w assholes in my life. stories are just complex bad people getting tangled with other complex bad people. my fave spn character outside cas is Meg, to the shock of many. I have given up explaining it to most people lol. "but she's bad!" yeah ok I thought it was hot? and kind of funny. I don't feel like explaining rn. 😅

oh thank you! this is something i always put a lot of thought into. like, one of the things that frustrates me about fandoms generally is i think the rough edges tend to get sanded off characters. like, some characters are vilified, yes, but that happens as a result of other characters getting herofied. like, if characters we're meant to like and root for can't be mean and self-serving and destructive, then to create conflict, one must invent flat, cartoonish villains to pit them against.

actually, as a sidenote, i was talking to @spriteofmushrooms on the phone the other day and trying to come up with a working definition of "darkfic" and we ended up deciding that it seems to mean "fic where characters are allowed to have unacceptable desires and motivations." and that's not exactly what it is, darkfic is hard to pin down, and it has some stylistic and genre conventions that are its own. for example, the first church at the end of the world by @withbloodstainedclothingon is a fic i love, and a really vicious and uncomfortable and vicious character study on both dean and cas (but especially dean). it is also unabashedly darkfic, and the reason it expresses the things it wants to express about cas through cas running like a misogynistic cannibalism sex cult is because one of the conventions of darkfic is a kind of aggressive edginess. that isn't a criticism, it's just saying that had the fic been working in a different genre, the author might have chosen a different method. or another example, my fic i fold in half so easily and @twoheadedcas' fic samson went back to bed are both kind of similar in various ways. they're both attempts to take late seasons canon seriously, attempts to reconcile with the position cas is in re: dean and jack in the late seasons, and attempts to put cas through a meat grinder. and they're both, i would say, darkfic. i know for a fact i didn't really start out with ifihse intending to write darkfic, and while melanie (hiiiii) might correct me here, there's a good chance they didn't either while writing swbtb. these are just the places one is naturally led to when engaging with the late seasons seriously. but there's a big difference between ifihse and swbtb in terms of: i am, on the balance, a darkfic writer. a lot of my fic is out and out darkfic, and even when it's not it tends to contain darkfic stylistic habits. @twoheadedcas has written a bit of darkfic in their tenure, but on the balance, they mostly write non-darkfic. so if you compare ifihse to swbtb, despite their tonal similarities, and despite the fact that both were written (in my opinion) primarily as pure reactions to canon, ifihse has some of the hallmarks of being a darkfic (in particular the emphasis on cas' erotic pleasure and his discomfort/ambivalence about it; darkfic tends to be even smuttier than normal fanfics and that smut tends to be both kinkier and more inclined to play with the lines of emotional comfort and consent), while swbtb has some of the hallmarks of being a non-darkfic (the best example is dean and cas sharing a sweet almost kiss in the middle, which is absolutely a classic destiel fic thing). this is actually one of my favorite things about samson went back to bed: in darkfic that is written to be darkfic, no matter how seriously and genuinely it engages with canon and the characters, there will always be the feeling that there is a finger on the scale, tilting characters to be just a little nastier, grosser, more evil. but non-darkfic is usually skewed the other way: the characters are skewed to be more comfortable and palatable. by aligning itself with non-darkfic, samson went back to bed legitimizes the dark interpretation of canon it presents by saying "i am not skewing things to be worse. i might even be skewing things to be better. and yet we're still here." which i think is cool.

but that's kind of the crux of the thing, isn't it? most darkfic is just a twisted mirror of most non-darkfic. instead of flattening characters to be better than they are, making them paragons of virtue, it flattens them to be worse than they are, making them cartoon villains. obviously, this isn't true of all darkfic, i am a great enjoyer of darkfic and frequently write it myself. there's plenty of good darkfic out there. but if sturgeon's law applies double to fanfic, it applies triple to darkfic. and i think it's because there is this inability, in fandom, to imagine that these beloved characters could be bad people. which means that non-darkfic tends to portray them as flat heroic figures. but it also means that darkfic tends to start from the premise "haha what if (character) was EVIL" rather than recognizing the ways they already kind of are (and the ways in which they are good, as well). both non-darkfic and darkfic frequently hold this black and white mindset, it's just a lot clearer in darkfic because darkfic always sets out to engage with darkness, whereas a lot of non-darkfic is just about things other than whether characters are "good" or "bad," and even when it's about characters' morality, it's usually less contrary to the canon, so there isn't as much emphasis on it or time spent contemplating it. so it's less in your face.

but yeah. i put a lot of work into taking the characters of supernatural seriously as complex and morally suspect people. that's what's fun to me. i find the other way kinda boring. i'm glad you enjoy what i'm selling :3.

(for some supplemental reading check out this post by @astermacguffin)

#spn #pingnova

[firespirited]

Confession time. After destiel went canon and broke tumblr, I read the entire wiki for the main characters before watching the final episodes and felt the finale was so out of character that I mentally wrote a fix it fic.

Here is me writing it down in honour of the third anniversary. A show that to me: consists of 3 episodes, a lot of meta posts that trended over the years, jokes about loving your car, some manic wiki reading and that odd dude who inexplicably did iffy prolapse photomanip fanart.

I have made no attempts to polish this. The voices probably aren't right but I tried to write an open ending that stays true to characterisation (aka as tumblr presented these three beloved characters which may be the opposite of what the writers of manly male, rock loving, hunters with guns in a muscle car and dead girlfriends had in mind) .

We follow the final episode as it began except after the pie festival and the vamp mime first murder, they're off to hunt but a flaming meteor falls from the sky and they follow it in the car. It hits a field, they see a human figure, run and use their coats and feet to put out the flames. It's Cas. They put him in the car, they're all very shaken no answers to Sam's many questions, awkward glances in the mirror from Dean then Cas breaks his silence and asks for his slice of pie... the one in the glove box. Sam is confused, Dean looks like he's going to vomit.

We restart the episode from a different point of view: After Castiel got sent to the empty, Dean began praying to whomever, whatever would hear (silently or under his breath but constantly.) he thinks he might be insane from grief but after all he's seen he has the smallest hope) . Jack as God can't technically rewrite all the laws of the universe but he's receiving these "prayers". He smirks when he finds a bylaw that he can make a saint of Castiel so that prayers to him are redirected straight to him and cannot be diverted (heaven's bureaucracy is complex).

The empty has known no peace for six months. Dean's internal monologue of prayer has been echoing around and amplified the more the empty tried to create silence. The empty has tried to kill Dean so many times but he's got a protective barrier on his hand that looks like a scratch (placed by a grateful angel) so he's been dodging these deaths like it's looney tunes, completely unaware. (insert scenes of echoey overlapping narration of longing and yearning over near misses of murder by multiple means. For angst broken up by comedy)

Back to now, to the car. The brothers staring at Cas, Dean gets out of the car to hyperventilate and try to hold it together. We focus in on the ringing and rushing blood sound in his ears as Sam seems to be asking questions again and Cas seems to be talking. Sam gets out of the car, asks his brother if he's OK, he obviously lies and says Yes.

Sam sighs and says "Yeah clearly, you look fantastic. So uh Cas says he wants in on the vampire mimes and is eager to do more hunting evil... and I know it's not the time but damnit when is ever the right time? ... Look, when I talked about a more normal life, I meant it. We write our own stories and maybe it's time for you to go try something, anything else really. How about you take a vacation? Cas and I will handle things."

"I've, well, I've given normal life a lot of thought, I've never truly fit in and I could try but I can only fake it for so long. Funny, but when I allowed myself to daydream of a different life, I imagined careers that led me back to the road and back to making things right, you know? I think at the core, that's who I am... And, hey, since you brought it up, I never asked you if this life is the 'normal' you want....To be honest: I know it's not. and I didn't want to be alone, at least not these past few months, I know I've seemed fine but"

"Oh no no, you did not seem 'fine' but I wasn't going to go out of my way to point it out. You didn't even wash for days at your worst. You mumble under your breath sometimes. Those guns are cleaned down to the last speck of dust. I wasn't going to leave you alone, not ever."

"Okay - Ok.ay! Since we're here having the 'talk', aside from your duty as my brother, have YOU let yourself imagine what you'd want normal to be, for you?"

He blurts out "Eileen... It's Eileen. I know she's out there somewhere, I felt a strange pang and it was relief." he's speaking so fast "She's back. My mind races at the possibilities, I haven't dared to let myself start. I'm not sure how I want to live but I know it has to be with Eileen"

"I'm calling a taxi. You have a serious phone call and some travel ahead. Older brother's orders. I'll do the blood suckers"

"Work again. Will you ever open up about what's been going on with you? You wouldn't even tell me how Cas summoned the Empty."

"I, uh, these things take time, more of an actions over words kinda guy. *stares at phone* Oh your taxi is two minutes out."

"I don't know what to say"

"You don't have to say anything, you already told me through all you've done. Text me when you arrive safely, or don't, if you're otherwise occupied"

"You're the worst. And the best." They hug

A car pulls up, Sam yells at Cas though the window that they'll talk soon and to keep Dean out of trouble. Cas gives him a thumbs up.

Dean gets back into the car after watching the taxi drive away until it's completely out of view. He hands the vamp case notes to Cas to read, instead Cas puts them aside on the seat. "It could be the six months, it could be the new body: this appears to be an empty copy, my host was spared the empty thankfully. Yes it could be the new body but you were right this pie is exactly to my taste"

"I don't want to know do I?"

"Indeed, you'd be mortified, it's a word you used a lot about your inner conflicts but, you've faced hell, I promise that voicing your thoughts isn't as terrible."

"Uh your coat and top are burned and falling apart, here have my jacket."

"I mean, voicing your feelings can get you sent to the empty but that's the worst case scenario"

"Nice. Reassuring." *goes quiet*

A phone dings, Cas pulls it out of the jacket. "You have a new message from Sam: "Eileen fine and well, two exclamation marks" aww, he's going to Eileen? She's wonderful isn't she? "meeting at station at 3am. Capital T, A L K and get answers from Cas you idiot skull emoji skull emoji laugh crying emoji"

"Vamps first... then I need a drink" Dean looks out of the window with a mixture of apprehension and giddiness, there's a small smile creeping across his lips that fades into seriousness, there's a flash of fear, then the smile returns with a tremor as if despite himself.

Various old friends are sat around in heaven: they reminisce, they can't know the boys future but they know it's nothing they can't handle, the senseless cruelty is over.

#Destiel #Saf #How a SPN hater was moved by the love it's fans had for the show #Enough to be haunted by a fix it end for an angel who found love and a broken bi-guy who can't believe he's lovable #SPN

[hauntedpearl]

WAIT I WANT YOU TO WRITE A SOULMATE AU

AAHHHHH GOD OKAY I JUST TYPED A WHOLEASS HEADCANON AND TUMBLR DIDN'T SAVE IT AND NOW IT'S NOT GOING TO BE THE SAME BUT IM GONNA TRY TO. RECREATE IT FOR YOU!! i hateeee this website i hate it.

anyway yes. as i was saying: i wanna write a soulmate au tooo!!! so bad!! but i worry that i won't be able to write a compelling one because i am a super fluffy writer and i don't really enjoy soulmate AUs that are super fluffy so I'll just end up writing something that's not interesting or whatever. but!!! sometimes i think if canonverse!!! then maybe!!! maybe!!! it can be fun because DENIAL!! DEPRESSION!! DEATH!! etc etc

i don't have an excerpt to post because i can't write anything right now but i think it would go something like this:

so this is s9. cas is human and he basically develops a soulmark. he actually doesn't even notice it but then when he's at that laundromat, there's also a little kid there and she sees it and points it out to him and then the mom is just like. mortified and she's like OMG WE ARE LEAVING RN and they run away. and then cas just looks down at himself and is like huh. he obviously recognises it. so. HUH.

anyway it's the same mark as dean's and while he's aware of the implications he just ignores all of that and gets on with it. his denial is like. fueled by the mark itself not being fully formed/permanent yet. it keeps fading in and out so he's like whatever not my problem rn. anyway s9 happens.

dean kicks him out of the bunker. and the mark becomes permanent.

he like lowkey hates having it but he justifies its existence to himself in many ways and just kind of does what he has to because he has no choice. anyway. HEAVEN CAN'T WAIT.

dean shows up. and then both their marks start burning up bc ~ p r o x i m i t y ~ or whatever and dean feels it and cas feels it and dean sees cas feeling it. and dean's like what the fuck what the FUCK and cas is like nothing the fuck. get out. and dean's like stop acting like I'm stupid i saw you!! you felt it too!! and cas is like idk what you're talking about. anyway they have a minor argument about this and also the hunt at the same time and it ends more or less like it did in canon.

i was the nora date to be a thing like it is important to me that it is a thing and i want dean to be soooo insane about it. like okay even those soulmates exist, not everyone ends up with their soulmate and not everyone takes it all that seriously. it's kind of like how astrology is in indian matchmaking yk? so it's not a big deal that cas is dating someone even if he has a mark but it's like. THIS IS DEAN. HE'S CRAZY. SO.

anyway. plot plot whatever rit zien is there. they fight. etc etc. same as canon. and then when they talk about it in the fanfic gap!

dean drives cas to his motel room and he's like. okay. okay so are we going to talk about this and cas is like HMM not saying anything and dean's like dude don't make me make you show it to me because you know i will. like. basically dean's being insane and he doesn't want to cross lines and ACT insane on the outisde so he's like cas just pls be HONEST with me and cas is like ugh. okay. fine yes i have it too yes it's the same one and dean's like huh. HUH. okay so what does this mean and cas is like idk I'm an angel and I'm not supposed to be having these things. and dean is like. no like. but you are human now and cas is like I WASN'T BORN ONE YOU MORON. and then he's like. well this is probably a glitch anyway. and dean is soooooooo sad at that and he's like glitch? what do you mean glitch? and cas is like well you see when i raised you from hell i had to feed you some of my grace and ig this is a side effect bc reciprocation happened and dean's like ....what? and cas is like I'm not your soulmate I'm your carbon copy. and dean is like. DEVASTATED. but also Somewhere deep down he is convinced that cas is his soulmate now (bc he's in love w him. that's the reason.) so he's like well how do you know what if it's really a soulmark what then and cas is sooooooo mad at the implication like he can be in love with Dean but how DARE he bring it up out in the open like this like how dare he make cas confront it esp when dean's been super cruel to him lately (honestly dean is a denial boy in my head but his whole deal is just. self-denial. like he knows things he just doesn't give them to himself. meanwhile cas is like. 😌 i pretend i do not see it.)

anyway. so then cas is like oooo I'm going to hurt you so he says sth like oh but if i was then you wouldn't have been able to kick me out so easily it would've hurt you and dean can't say anything to that right then yk..

anyway it's a bad night for everyone. and then when dean drives cas out to the gasnsip in the morning it's pretty much the same as canon. but when they're parting ways their soulmark hurts again. and dean is like WHY WON'T HE JUST ADMIT IT and cas is like i wish someone would peel off my skin so i wouldn't have to have this.

idk how it goes after this point. i think over the years the mark becomes more or less permanent. it's not as dark when he has his grace but even then it's not fully gone. it fades in and out just like his grace but it's still. always there. and cas has to deal with it.

dean never brings it up especially after this huge fight. he kind of sees it as a rejection. he asks him once around S10 after his grace is restored and cas is like Yep. It's Gone. (lying through his teeth) and dean's like WELL. GOOD. GOOD. (also lying through his teeth.)

eventually tho they all have to confront the reality of the situation and they obvs get together idk how it happens tho. i would write if i could!!! but i can't!!! SADLY!!!

doing this thing.

#doe's inbox #renu 💫🧡 #ask game #Like im SORRY IM POSTING SUMMARIES WHEN I WAS SUPPOSED TO POST ACTUAL WRITING BUT IM NOT IN THE ZONE AND THIS IS FUN SOOOW #spn headcanons #soulmate au #destiel

[spnfanficpond]

New Member Spotlight - September/October 2023

The Pond is always growing and we want to make our new members feel welcome! Here’s a list of recent additions to our fishy family, along with a little info about them!

Guppies, Jellies, and Mutuals, oh, my!

@inenochian -

Other SM names? - InEnochian on AO3 and Discord

OTP? - Destiel

Other fandoms? - Merlin

Looking for in the Pond? - Prompts, connections, advice, collaboration, also fic recs and to let more people know about things I've posted.

Pairings you read? - Destiel

Genres you read? - I like canon fics but LOVE historical AUs. Happy endings are a must but angst fluff and pining are wonderful. Omegaverse is great! Smut is good as long as there is plot.

Favorite writer(s)? - This is hard. IntotheSilentLand & UnicornPoe for the way they paint soft angsty pictures with words, Anryrei and Queerwerewolf for hot smut and great plot, sometimeswelose for amazing Dean Winchester angst, there are others - I can't decide!

What do you like to write? - Historical AUs, fixits, AUs in general

Masterlist!

Most underappreciated fic? - the light paints kisses on his skin.

Something you haven't written but would like to try? Why not? How can we help? - Omegaverse - I'm just nervous about it. Also present tense writing - I like to read it but it's hard to write. Not sure how anyone can help but when I'm ready I'll def reach out!

@dragonardhill -

Other SM names? - dragonardhill on AO3

OTP? - Wincest

Looking for in the Pond? - Just interested in the community and positivity of interacting with others who enjoy fanfic.

Pairings you read? - Dean/Sam, J2, Dean/Sam/Jack

Genres you read? - All of the above. I read 4-5 fics, sometimes more every day lol

Favorite writer(s)? - too many to choose one!

What do you like to write? - I write very little to be honest but would like to get back into it. I got on a sam/dean/jack PWP kick during later SPN seasons - mostly due to prompts and relationships with a couple other fans. That’s most of what is on my AO3 works but Sam/Dean is my OTP.

Masterlist!

Most underappreciated fic? - Again, there’s not much to choose from and I only write PWP! This isn’t really underappreciated but it’s super short and my fave. Warning for underage weecest. These Tornadoes Are For You

@pizzagirlxnsfwx - This new member is cool and mysterious like Rowena, but without the witchy spells. We think. No guarantees.

@thepromiscuousduck -

Other SM names? - Promiscuous_Duck (AO3)

OTP? - Destiel

Looking for in the Pond? - I want to meet like-minded people, maybe make some friends, and get more readership for the series that's kicking my ass. lol

Pairings you read? - Any combination of Team Freewill 2.0, along with original characters or side cannon characters, so long as Dean, Sam, Cas, and/or Jack are involved. This includes Wincest.

Genres you read? - I'll read just about anything, but angst needs to have a happy ending for me. It's my escape, I don't want to be left crying lol. I have a weak spot for the coffee shop trope. It can't be overdone!

What do you like to write? - Happy, fluffy AU with some drama. Right now, that with a lot of smut and incest.

Masterlist!

@annahmiraculousmillenium -

Other SM names? - A-nah on AO3, mimiaou on Discord

OTP? - Wincestiel

Other fandoms? - Miraculous and Yu-Gi-Oh!

Looking for in the Pond? - I just wanted to read about how people in fandom help each other make art.

Pairings you read? - Oc insert and the oc have to be really interesting. Ship: Wincestiel!!!! Poly fic : Hell yeah!

Genres you read? - Angst, smut, crack,fluff,hurt/comfort, happy ending, open ending(hopeful ending) Tropes: time travel, time travel fix it, bodyswap, sharing a body (mouah! One of my favorites), slow burn (it's Soo worth it), identity crisis, identity reveal, reverse-verse AU

Favorite writer(s)? - Not yet!

What do you like to write? - Dialogue heavy fics, whenever I get to writing them.

@lunaroserites -

Other SM names? - @gattinachyann (Twitter) and Lunaroserites (AO3)

Other fandoms? - Marvel, The Boys, Attack on Titan, My Hero Academia, Demon Slayer, Gotham Knights (CW Show), and many more.

Looking for in the Pond? - Friends, other authors, more things to read

Pairings you read? - Reader Insert mostly, some OFC. I’ve been into Castiel and Dean fics but I’ll read just about anything from Supernatural!

Genres you read? - All the above? Fav tropes are only one bed, sweetheart (derogatory) to sweetheart (affectionate) or enemies to lovers, touch and you die, grumpy character/sunshine character. I also adore Soulmate AUs and most other AUs!

What do you like to write? - Fluff. I’ve been in a real Castiel kick lately lol. I like to write happy stuff, very little angst. I enjoy tooth-rotting fluff.

Masterlist!

Something you haven't written but would like to try? Why not? How can we help? - I love AU but can’t seem to write them well, so world-building tips would be helpful!

@the-family-business67 -

Other fandoms? - Marvel

Looking for in the Pond? - To grow my audience

Pairings you read? - I read reader inserts, mostly Dean or Jensen x reader, but also Sam and Jared

Genres you read? - pretty much all, love abo and soulmate stories

Favorite writer(s)? - @luci-in-trenchcoats who has so many amazing stories and encourages me to share my own work and @jawritter who brought me to Tumblr in the first place.

What do you like to write? - What ever inspiration strikes. Mostly Dean or Jensen x reader with a few Sam or Jared x Reader.

Masterlist!

Most underappreciated fic? - Love Again

That's all for this month, folks! (If we're missing anyone, let us know and we'll add them to next month's list!) Make sure to say hi to the newbies and make them feel welcome! Thanks to all from @manawhaat, @mrswhozeewhatsis, @mariekoukie6661, @thoughtslikeaminefield, @katbratsupernaturalwhore and @heavenssexiestangel!

#welcome #new member post #pond admin #spnwin #supernatural #the winchesters #long post #fan fiction #fanfiction #fan fic #fanfic #spn fan fiction #spn fanfiction #spn fan fic #spn fanfic #supernatural fan fiction #supernatural fan fic #supernatural fanfiction #supernatural fanfic #spn prequel