#and certainly not an openly nonbinary one

[baixueagain]

Couldn’t help but notice this reblog in a certain recent “queer is a slur” discourse post.

Beyond being ahistorical, it is significant in its third paragraph, which is almost entirely made up with TERF and alt right dog whistles. For anyone who has even a basic idea of what to look for, this blogger has just outright shown their hand.

Let’s start from the beginning of the text I’ve marked in blue:

“a pedophilia and incest apologist”

This is a very handy tactic especially prevalent in alt-right rhetoric these days. It stigmatises anything it is attached to, in this case the person who coined the term “queer theory.” Topics like pedophilia and incest are extremely taboo and emotionally laden, and attaching them to a subject will cause many people to automatically distance themselves from that term out of a semi-instinctive desire to not associate themselves with such things. Spread this attachment widely enough, and you can push entire groups into abandoning terminology, praxis, and people.

For the record, I’m not sure of the source for this claim. The woman who coined the term “queer theory” was Teresa de Laurentis, and I’ve never seen anything by her which tries to excuse pedophilia or incest. She certainly wrote about the gendered nature of incest, but this was in no way laudatory. This may also be a reference to the work of Gloria Anzaldua, who helped further popularize the term. She spoke frankly and openly about her sexual fantasies, many of them of a taboo nature, because of her firm belief in de-stigmatizing discussions about human sexual behaviour. Not only are such fantasies extremely common, they are in no way apologetics for real life abuse, nor do they predict real life behaviour.

“a straight woman with a fetish for gay men”

We’ve gotten to the transphobic dogwhistle now. This is an accusation frequently used against trans men and nonbinary AFAB people, especially those who pursue relationships with men. With the current surge in transphobic public rhetoric, it has received a new breath of life, and trans mlm are currently facing a slew of accusations of being straight women/girls who have just fetishized gay men to the point that they’re trying to “become” gay men/boys themselves (CW: link leads to transphobic hate site genderhq.org). These accusations are even being used in queer circles--including by trans people--to gatekeep who “gets” to write fiction about mlm. Just a week ago, for example, queer writer Alex Marraccini accused indie trans mlm author Ana Mardoll of fetishizing mlm, claiming that Ana’s “fetishistic” writing isn’t nearly as groundbreaking or liberating as the work of real cis gay men.

I’m not sure who the blogger is referring to here as there’s no real consensus on who first used the term “queer studies.” However, I think they may be referring to Eve Kosofsky Sedgwick, who was most certainly not a straight woman. She was queer and came out as a trans man, though as far as I know continued to publicly prefer she/her pronouns (hence my own pronoun use here).

“use intentionally over academic language”

Ah, good old anti-intellectualism. If I can’t understand you, you must be using over-academic language just to confuse me on purpose. This dogwhistle not only gives people an excuse to dismiss anything they don’t understand straight away, it pushes the conspiracy theory that we academics are part of an ivory tower conspiracy to Queer Everything for...reasons (see below).

“to obfuscate that their founding texts and members are Marxists”

Aaaand here we are, the full show of the hand. This blogger is either alt-right or well down the pipeline to becoming one. The old chestnut that These Academics We Disagree With are all secret Marxists is one that is, you guessed it, strongly tied into antisemitism and Nazi conspiracies that push the belief that Karl Marx, Marxism, and Marxists are part of a global Jewish conspiracy that seeks to destroy the West.

And of course we have one more “incest and pedophilia” whistle to round things off, just to doubly ensure that people understandably disgusted by those things attach them to queer theorists.

Anyway, once again I beg the good people of Tumblr to please pay close attention to TERF rhetoric, where it comes from, how it’s used, and the other movements that it is tied to. I am not being a paranoid conspiracist when I say that “queer is a slur” discoursers and “pedophilia and incest” scaremongers and their ilk (including anti-kink discoursers) are tied to TERF rhetoric, which is itself allied increasingly with the alt right. They are telling you this for themselves. Listen to them when they tell you who they are.

#queer #queer discourse #discourse #lgbtq #transphobia #terfism #dogwhistles #terf rhetoric

[idiotic-b-gilson]

The Prank Theory: Or, Why Toby won't make an explicit announcement that Kris' pronouns are they/them despite that obviously being canon.

Disclaimer: people who use they/them for Kris are NOT the butt of the joke here. Although calling it a prank might be a little misleading to begin with, you'll see why.

I know for a fact, judging from my dashboard, that I am not alone in being mad at people misgendering the humans of Undertale and Deltarune (although, I will admit I used to be part of the problem up until quite recently). And we all wish for Toby to just go out and publicly announce that Kris, Frisk, and Chara use they/them only, that Mad Mew Mew is canonically transfem, etc., just to stop all the misgendering. It would certainly be nice and very helpful for the LGBTQ community. However, after giving it some thought, I've come to the conclusion that it most likely cannot happen, and the reason why is the Prank Theory. Treat it as an explanation, but not an excuse.

I came up with Prank Theory over something that's completely unrelated to the above, funnily enough. You see, I have this headcanon that Asriel Dreemurr is not cisgender. I'm not entirely sure what his gender is, but he's not cis male for sure. And I've seen a variety of different takes on this concept. For example, AUs like (Ask) Fallen Royalty by @starlightshore present Asriel as having transitioned in a more feminine direction ((A)FR specifically describes her gender as feminine nonbinary). Others still write Asriel (chiefly the Deltarune one) as transgender male (I've mostly seen that take in NSFW fanfics on AO3, which is a shame cuz it has great potential beyond that. Please tell me where I can find more). Other others still, like my beloved mutual @sukifoof, have proposed that Asriel might be agender. And, let me be clear about something: those are all great ideas, and I love them. But I started to wonder, which of these ideas is the closest to canon? Like, if we also factor in authorial intent, which of these options would fit under it, and which ones wouldn't? That was when I came up with Prank Theory, as a way to kind of imagine at least one aspect of said authorial intent.

Spoiler alert, according to Prank Theory any kind of transfeminine Asriel is incompatible with canon, but again I want to make it clear that that doesn't mean I think they're "wrong" or "bad" or anything like that, and I want to reiterate my endorsement of writing Asriel this way. Besides, my theory could be completely wrong, so...

So, after all that stuff, what does the Prank Theory actually say? Well, in summary: Undertale and Deltarune are some of the most "woke" video games ever made, but conservatives and reactionaries don't seem to have realized that yet, funnily enough. Now, calling it a prank is a wee bit misleading, since it implies that tricking right-wingers into loving a video game with a very progressive setting and message was at least part of what Toby intended. And I don't believe that's the case. He simply makes video games he wants to make, and they just happen to reflect his views on the world, and these views just happen to fly over the heads of some people.

This in and of itself would probably not make it a huge problem for Toby to put in one of his newsletters, or even in an X (as in, former Twitter) post, a correction regarding the genders of his characters. However it does start to become a problem when you factor in that the UTDR community has hundreds of thousands of people in it (although as of the March 2024 it might be a rather liberal estimate), and many of them would be quite pissed off if the video game they like had "suddenly" "gone woke" (ignorant of the fact that both it, and its main creator have been openly "woke" the whole time). And that is a problem in the current environment, because it means that Toby, as well as other people on the UTDR dev team, would be at a significant risk of hate and harassment, which in the Year of Our Lord 2024 could lead to Angel knows what.

On a more cynical capitalist (and much more speculative) level, attracting political controversy this way could sour Toby's relationship with big video game companies which have (as far as I know) played an important part in why Toby's got basically unlimited resources to work on the game of his fever dreams. They saw the widespread, universal acclaim that UT, DR1 and DR2 received, and drew the conclusion that DR3-4 (and the future chapters) will also get a similar reception, and they will get great returns no matter how much money they pour into it. This belief could be shaken if Toby attracted the ire of his transphobic fans by correcting their misgendering of his characters, and thus limiting the reach Chapters 3 and 4 would otherwise have (but again, this is pure speculation, I'm not an economist, nor do I know how much companies like Nintendo have actually invested in Deltarune. So I could be, like, way off).

And that is, in the end, why I believe Toby Fox will not make a statement regarding the canon gender of any UTDR character, at least not while Deltarune is still in development. After it's finished I think he might feel free enough to take that step. But we'll have to see.

Now, I don't know if I'm right. I feel pretty confident in my own theory, but there's a good chance I missed something. So, if I did, please lemme know. In the meantime, let's hope Toby will disprove my theory soon and set things right. And I'll see you around.

#gilson originals #text post #undertale #deltarune #utdr #long post #prank theory #the prank theory #toby fox

[catgirlknighted]

“What’s that about being straight?” Story Time 💜

I had an ex who I gave a major voice kink to and I was already out to when we were together. Over the years we’ve on off had a bit of casual fun even after breaking up mutually. Just some fun little phone sex together, mutual masturbation, body worship, etc. I was always a sort of domme in her life back in the old days. The only cis lady (presumably to this day- PRESUMABLY) I’ve ever fucked.

Now at a point we hadn’t talked for like a good year or two, just life stuff, and she tells me “yeah so I think I’m straight.” I laugh and question it like how? We were going to town on one another over the phone many times! She tells me she hasn’t found a woman she wants to fuck and actually just isn’t sure. Then I get this little idea on my mind. I tell her we should hang out over the phone & catch up. We catch up for a good bit of time and I bring up the comment about being straight. She clarifies again that she’s not sure actually and before she can say anything else, I start doing the voice. I hear her gasp softly and whimper. It’s been literally years since she’s gotten to hear my special voice yet this little cutie was still so receptive to it. She tells me softly that she’s soaked down there as I use the voice a bit more and asks me to stop, but then clarifies to only stop until she gets to her bedroom.

“Awwww you missed my voice, didn’t you little one?” She whimpers as I hear her looking for her vibrator and chokes out a needy “yes.” “Yes who?” I ask sternly. “Yes mommy.” She tells me. “Good girl, I like to hear how needy you are even after all this time you’re still such a good slut.”

I hear her unbutton and quickly take her pants off as I tease her with my voice more & more. At her whimpers I ask her if she wants me to stop as I hear the vibrator turn on. She begs me to keep going like a good little girl. I ask her if she still craves my thick girlcock in her wet little pussy and she says she does and craves any cocks she can get her hands on. She tells me she’s a cock hungry whore openly. I tell her she’s such a good girl for admitting it and she’s mommys good girl for wanting to take all the yummy cocks inside of her. I keep using my special voice to rile he up as she presses and teases the vibrator on her clit. She’s moaning out & making so many great sounds for me and I ask who she belongs to and she says “you mistress!”

She tells me she’s getting so close and the audio I’m picking up would most certainly backup those claims. She starts calling out for me saying mommy & mistress and telling me she’s mine repeatedly like a good girl should and how badly she wants me to fuck her. “Even after all this time, you’re still mommy’s little slut and you aren’t straight at all are you?” I hear her choke out a yes and a couple more yes’s over and over until she lets out a loud moan and gasp, having finally came for me. We chilled out after and laughed about how she absolutely wasn’t straight and just wants to get railed often. More guys than gay gals & nonbinary pals in the local area I guess. She just hasn’t has a good non-guy dick in a long time. To this day she craves my girldick whenever we call. 💜✨

💜 So really no one in this story was straight. 💖

#next time I’ll tell y’all the G!lf story I think who was also cis but unfortunately we never got to go through with it #real spaghetti noodle straight until wet metaphor put into play here lmao #rose.txt #my writing #trans dom #trans domme #trans switch #trans nsft #nsft trans #trans ns/ft #trans ns/fw #nonbinary nsft #nsft enby #enby nsft #voice kink #possession kink #a little bit?

[fandom-geek]

just finished my first run of bg3. spoilers for basically everything, although i don't actually go into too much detail abt the actual climax, more the ending cutscenes and companion quests.

i love jergal so much. that just needs to stand on its own. he's such a sassy skeleton git who hides the fact he still cares for humanity under it all - his scene with arabella was one of my favourite moments of the entire game.

(on that note, anyone else assuming his whole "follow the weave" thing to her is him basically protecting her? finding her in act 3 surrounded by four dead adults while she has a nary a scratch certainly makes me think she's got some secret godly supervision going on).

anyway - the ending.

i think that if i hadn't been warned that there aren't any epilogue slides, i would've been disappointed. so i'm glad i knew that, even it still felt a bit abrupt because of it. but hey! given larian's history with expanded/definitive editions, i'm guessing we'll either get it in a patch several months from now or in bg3's expanded edition.

personally, i think the section from when you enter the morphic pool to when you kill the netherbrain feels very rough and abrupt. very rough. but the rest of the game is just so stupidly perfect as far as i'm concerned, with like one exception for the cut content for karlach. which is blatantly obvious even without looking at datamining, because why else would we get a ton of different types of infernal metal in act 3?

and god i would've loved to see the upper city (as advertised, larian!) and the ducal palace before it all went to shit. cazador's palace was clearly meant to be there, and i was really looking forward to my urchin tav (malias) actually walking around the upper city and having opinions.

(on that note, i loved that bust gortash has in his office [which was presumably meant to be in the ducal office but anyway!] where the founder of the counting house was an ex-urchin who didn't give a shit abt the patriars because they never cared for him before he became important. malias absolutely would've found that an inspiration for any upper city shenanigans)

but those ending cutscenes on the pier? pretty great, even if i was internally screeching the whole time gale was talking because hey astarion is right there in the sunlight and he doesn't have a tadpole. but thank god gale was just like "yeah, you're right, leaving it there is probably a good idea".

and his line abt some things being more important than power! i adore that line. it's essentially the point of everyone's quests, that power imprisons you and the most important thing in life is the freedom to choose. and of course gale is the one to verbalise that, and to openly say how fond he is of everyone!

then gale made his slightly dickish comment about astarion fleeing, lol. boys, please.

honestly that felt hilariously fitting to my playthrough where i accidentally fell into romancing gale while intentionally romancing astarion, and broke it off with gale (despite never actually being with him). yes buddy, i know you're still a bit salty about that. please wait until malias isn't distraught over their boyfriend literally burning up and running off in front of them.

(to detour for a moment - again, thank you larian for letting me play a nonbinary characters. honestly, that alone makes it a game in its own sphere of perfection, especially since vtmb 2 originally promised that then cut it then maybe it's back in with the new studio??? genuinely perked up with happiness whenever someone used the right pronouns or referred to malias in a clearly gender neutral way.)

even if astarion fleeing and his lines about it were genuinely agonising. at least the romanced cutscene with him started immediately afterwards - i was kinda debating between the "heroes" and "sunlight" options, but honestly? as absurdly good-aligned as malias is, i absolutely think they'd value helping astarion to have the freedom to walk in the sun over being heroes. pretty sure this whole adventure has shown they're pretty good at that multi-tasking element lol. and i love that astarion is so happy about going on another adventure.

like not to go tmi, but astarion's character and plot was... painfully relatable, especially when he just started sobbing after killing cazador, and it's just so good that you can give him a happy future. not an ending, of course, because i don't doubt he and malias will get into a fuckton of mischief, but like he says - he's free! it's just such a perfect moment. my favourite companion and companion quest by an absolute country mile.

i'm also just internally assuming that malias sprinted off after astarion as soon as karlach's near death brush was finished - i am so glad i went the "have my cake and eat it" route of breaking wyll's pact and saving his dad regardless. it lets wyll and malias/tav persuade karlach to return, swearing that she'll be safe from zariel, and personally malias would absolutely be looking for a way to help karlach return safely while off finding a way for astarion to walk in the sunlight.

(also i'm a bit curious abt what others think - there's a little bit of ambiguity abt whether it's just going for the sunlight, or straight up curing his vampiric nature. after all, as his grave inscription happily points out, he was turned 194 years ago and the true resurrection time limit is 200 years. since gale wants to stick around, he can call in a favour with elminster to figure out a way to do that.)

and to backtrack for a second, i am happy that malias persuaded lae'zel to make her own path instead of following orpheus' orders! was it selfish? probably, yeah, which was a bit surprising from how otherwise strongly good-aligned malias is but between that and the mindflayer choice after freeing orpheus (i asked orpheus to do that), i just... think malias doesn't want to lose that.

to explain smth for a sec, i'm going back and forth on whether to keep malias' backstory as is (urchin/orphan who grew up in the lower city) or to make them my dark urge character. from what i've heard of the dark urge, it really ties into my favourite character dynamics and themes (and seems a bit reminiscent of kotor lol), so it's a little bit of debate.

but either way, i think malias would override any moral concerns of goodness for "fuck that, this is my family and i am not losing them". regardless of which backstory i end up picking, that's definitely staying the same. but malias as a former orphan and street kid sure as fuck isn't giving up on their new and beloved family. so yeah, i think the moral concerns of "ok you were just told to go save the githyanki as a whole" would be pushed to the side of "you've always been following orders your entire life, i want you to be free".

and if lae'zel chooses to go help the gith regardless? that's great. but malias would want it to be her choice, not orders she feels obligated to follow.

i also love that you get to say "yes, let's go to the pub to celebrate!". even if we don't see it on-screen, i just love it. those fuckers (astarion included once someone managed to throw something thick enough over him so he didn't burn en route) absolutely partied until they crashed and they fucking deserved it. i love my found family shit so much. and i'm guessing that probably ties into the cut epilogue stuff, even if that was meant to be six months later.

but yeah. i just fucking love it all. now time to do my dark urge run, which i heavily suspect will also be an astarion romance again just bc i'm curious how those differences pan out.

#bg3 spoilers #withers #astarion #i just love this fucking game so much #is there room for improvement? sure! i'd love to see more of orin and gortash not to mention the upper city #but my god. the found family vibes are so utterly immaculate #malias #since i talk a *lot* more abt my tav than expected #karlach cliffgate

[siineko]

Side OC - Mika

Just a trial run with a new side OC I made on a whim, Mika! Note: Mika is nonbinary and uses They/She pronouns. Mika mainly works at a.....club.. that offers fairly lewd services. idk what their world wants to call it specifically, but I’ll workshop it perhaps.

NOTE: This story is very NSFW, and contains multiple instances of borderline s//exual content. (Of course emeto as well, but with a slight moment of implied scat-but only implied, as I refuse to actually show any of that off- doesn’t do it for me, but its story relevant) Note 2- IMPORTANT: Also like every character in this story is like,, midway through figuring out their relationships with gender/sexuality, so if any mention of that contemplation/sliight dysphoria (About one sentence of Mika being slightly uncomfortable w/ their breasts), then this perhaps isn’t the story for you 

---

For this particular story, Mika tries their best to work their shift, when she begins to feel very unwell, though they deny it for as long as they can, seeing as they certainly need the money.

Pictures will be posted to my Google Drive again, seeing as some of their club activities are openly included in the pictures, and I doubt Tumblr would let that slide. (They could, but I won’t risk it again after the whole “marked as sensitive” ordeal)   Picture Link: https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1sfwlD7XZFXb8DV24Rac6m3uQDpzc717s?usp=sharing

Anyway! Here we go-

----

For Mika, the plan was to go to work as normal. They’d serve some food occasionally, chat to guests, and sometimes tend to guests in a different way, if that’s what the dear guest desired. They’d of course have their limits on what she’d do, but overall, many things weren’t a problem. Man? Woman? Neither? Mika didn’t particularly care (as long as the guest was attractive, anyway).

However, tonight was different. They felt a bit off. They were tired, and their stomach felt heavy and bloated.  “Hmm, not necessarily a problem”, she thought “some customers like someone with a little more weight to them”.

They continued their job, and all was mostly well, until their stomach began to feel upset, and would occasionally gurgle ominously.

They powered on, however- They really needed the money, and they sure as hell weren’t gonna let a stomachache send them home, after all.

 They decided to distract herself with a client-  A young person seemed interesting, and kinda cute, in a shy way. They were average height, had blue hair, and was wearing a short skirt.

“Hey, gorgeous, wanna have a bit of fun?” they flirted as they approached the individual. They jumped in surprise “O-oh hello! I- ummm, maybe? th-this is my first time, and I ummmm I don’t know what to do...” Mika smiled “Oh? First time, huh? Don’t worry- We take good care of all of our customers here”!  She then proceeded to explain about the club’s services, as the guest blushed more and more. “And, oh I forgot to ask- If you feel comfortable telling me, may I know your name and what pronouns you’d prefer?” Their eyes widened in shock, were they not expecting to be asked?  M-My name is Sai and I.... I ummm..” they faltered cautiously before continuing “I’d like if you used... used ummm... She! She and uh, they- both are fine” she fidgeted nervously as she spoke, seemingly judging Mika’s response, if they were to take a guess.

“Well, Sai- you are certainly stunning young lady,” Sai lit up at the mention, “Oh, you can call me Mika, and I prefer they and she as well!” Mika stepped closer to Sai, and crossed their arms under their chest to make it stand out more. They didn’t always like their breasts, and occasionally wore a binder outside of work, but they served their purpose here, and hiding them with this uniform wasn’t really an option. “Now, to get down to business- Would you like me to... tend to you?” 

Sai blushed and nodded timidly “I- I’d like that, if you’d be ok with it... I-I’ll pay what I need to”

 With that matter settled, Mika went to work. They placed one hand around her waist, and gently placed another on her breast-  causing Sai to gasp and blush in surprise.  They continued by lifting her skirt, and began to stroke her thigh, while staring at her to judge her reaction.  Sai continued to blush furiously, and tilted her hips towards them, giving them the go ahead to go a little further.

They slipped their upper hand into Sai’s shirt, and rubbed at her chest, while her lower hand continued past her thigh, and towards her crotch, where a bulge began to show through her underwear.

Mika chuckled, and rubbed at it the best she could, causing Sai to moan in pleasure.

Mika continued to tease and pleasure Sai for a while, before Sai had enough for the moment, and cut it off, which Mika understood.

Mika finished up dealing with their end of that, and felt their stomach gurgle again. They had honestly almost forgotten about her stomach, and figured that since they already had a break, they would go sit down in the back for a bit.

They found a nice spot, and sat down, leaning back so that their stomach could have room to settle. They were really bloated now, and they were beginning to feel a bit queasy. Perhaps their activity with Sai just jostled them a little too hard, and they hoped that sitting here, and rubbing their upset stomach would help- and burped a few times in an attempt to relieve the pressure, if only a little.

It wasn’t working, and the feeling was getting worse. They felt like they were going to shit themselves, or hurl, and they weren’t sure which, so they moved to the bathroom just in case, while occasional burps made them move their hand to her mouth, as she was constantly afraid that the next one wouldn’t be air.

They reached the stall, and positioned herself, while clutching her stomach in pain- before proceeding to absolutely shit her brains out. The pain didn’t go away, however, and a wave of sudden nausea made her loose their balance, and they caught themselves on the floor, before burping up a small string of vomit, which tasted heavily of the alcohol that they had consumed while entertaining guests (not enough for intoxication, mind you- just enough for the guests to feel like Mika was included in the fun, and not just watching them drink).

“Ouuugh- *hurp* not like this- I can’t be sick now, I...I have to get back to work...” Mika protested their predicament, and clasped their hand firmly over her mouth, stifling back a multitude of gags, and swallowing down any of their stomach contents that dared to try rebelling.

After composing themselves to the point where she didn’t think they were going to puke, they cleaned themselves up and went back out to work- as their break was definitely ending by this point.

This brought her to their next customer, a feminine individual wearing... a very revealing outfit. They had long brown hair, short shorts, and... and a top that was so short that it looked in danger of revealing their breasts if it was even bumped too hard. However, they looked surprisingly timid, especially for how they dressed. Maybe they were still getting used to dressing like that? Mika could understand if that was the case, as they took a bit to get used to their own outfit for work.

Mika knew they had to be professional, and not get attached, but even their appearance was beginning to turn them on a little.

“Good evening, beautiful- Are you here for pleasure tonight?” Mika asked, trying their best to be as charming as possible. It was already their job, but they really wanted the opportunity to play with those- *ahem* They were getting ahead of themselves.

“Ah- Y-yes, I am.. I’m here for p-pleasure.” They blushed, and seemed shy, but determined. Mika was thoroughly aroused. If they were being perfectly honest, they quite liked when timid bottoms asked for it from them. 

They asked their usual questions- If this was their first time, name and pronouns, etc.

“My name is.. Sena. I prefer they and she, and umm.. this may be my first time here but, umm..” Sena blushed “...I don’t mind how you start... I wanna be touched...”

Mika thought this was a dream come true- Same pronoun choice? Unexperienced? A bottom who desperately wants their touch?  If it weren’t for the fact that they still felt hot, sweaty, and queasy, this would be the perfect night. But- they REFUSED to let their stomach ruin this for them, and focused at what was at hand.

After some flirting, Mika couldn’t take the slow pace anymore- They began to fondle Sena’s (quite large and attractive) breasts, and slipped their other hand between their thighs and to their crotch.

Sena blushed and moaned “Please... more... I beg you...”

Mika felt themselves going crazy from arousal, and leaned in closer. They lifted Sena’s shirt just a little and continued to fondle their breast, as they leaned in to lick Sena’s now exposed, and quite hard, nipple.

Sena moaned again and leaned forward a little, which only pressed those gorgeous breasts closer. Mika took note, and went back and forth between licking and sucking at their nipple.

They slipped their other hand deeper into Sena’s crotch, and could now feel that they were getting wet- And honestly, if Mika was being honest, they were starting to get wet themselves. 

Unlike Sai, who had her fun after a bit of groping, Sena begged for more “P-please! Harder! I- I think I HNNG--” they cut off as they moaned and climaxed from Mika’s touch.

With this bit of work finished, they both caught their breath while talking, and to Mika’s surprise, Sena offered their number. Normally they would be more apprehensive, especially with a client, but whether it was due to their genuine attraction to them, or what may be the beginnings of a fever clouding their judgement, they accepted, and gave their own in return, and Sena left on their way after a little while, leaving Mika alone, resting on the couch that she and Sena had been using.

Now without the distraction of work, Mika could clearly feel her bloated stomach pressing firmly against their skirt, and another gurgle rippled through it. They lifted a hand to it, trying again to rub away their discomfort, but they were really feeling sick now.

It was fine for a little while, but they had really overexerted herself while tending to Sena, and now they sat there, leaned back on this couch, while the room felt hotter than ever.

They burped a few times to relieve the pressure, but not only did it not work, but each burp felt wetter, until the last one ended in a gag. “Oh gods.. I feel.. I think I’m gonna be sick!” They pulled themselves off the couch, desperate to make it back to the bathroom, and their stomach contents swirled with their movement.

A wave of nausea overtook her, and she clutched her stomach as well as her mouth as it filled with thick saliva. “Ughh my stomach... so nauseous... gotta get to a toilet... gonna puke...” They thought one last time before heaving sharply, with such force that it caused them to double over and use their hand to brace themselves, leaving their mouth uncovered.

Without warning, they suddenly couldn’t hold it anymore, and multiple thick waves of sick poured from their mouth, and splattered onto the floor, barely giving them a moment to even breathe.

With a moment in-between, they could spare a glance around them, and    saw as the remaining people were now staring. 

“Nonononooo not *urp* not here... Not with people watching... gotta get out... so hot... bathroom... I’m gonna-” 

She wanted to move, but she was getting dizzy, making their stomach swirl more than before, and she braced their hands on their legs, afraid that they’d fall over if this continued- as vomit shot up their mouth, into their cheeks, and unable to gather the strength to fight back, puked up a few more waves of watery vomit.

Once the waves of vomit stopped for the time being, she stumbled back and collapsed into the couch, and lacked the strength to walk to the bathroom. They were unbearably hot, dizzy, their stomach churned, and the nausea didn’t seem to go away.

Perhaps they had caught something, and to make things worse, their gut gurgled wetly, and they needed the bathroom again... This was still going to be a long night...

--

Note about characters: - Mika (AFAB) is nonbinary, uses They/She, and though this job wasn’t their first choice, circumstances were what they were- They aren’t fond of their work outfit, and aren’t always comfortable with how “On Display” their breasts are in it, but they deal with it for work, and wears a binder while in their personal clothing - Saihe “Sai” (AMAB), goes by She/They, and is still trying to figure out her relationship with gender, as she only realized she was a girl recently, and is trying things out - Sena (AFAB) is Nonbinary, uses They/She, and is experimenting with their sexual/gender identity as well as trying to see if they are actually ok with having boobs or not, though they often bind

//Please Don’t Reblog to Non-Kink Blogs//

#Siin's OCs #emetophilia

[hcofatransmasc]

Ouran Host Club HC

Some general headcanons for the club!

Haruhi Fujioka

FtM

Uses They/He/She pronouns

Doesn't mind being referred to as a girl, but also doesn't associate themself with "being" a girl anymore

Asexual and Aromantic, but also isn't against being in relationships (sex and romance neutral, if anything)

Prefers to keep to themself at home, especially if their parent's around (not because they're against Haruhi being trans, but because they're almost too supportive of it)

Still really close to their parent, and openly asks for cross-dressing tips

Only realized that they were trans after being accidentally assumed as a boy by the Host Club, and they were also the first people they came out to (also to overwhelming and sometimes overstimulating support)

Starts on HRT after only a year or so, mostly because the other members bully convince their families to help

Prefers to wear jeans and hoodies, even after transitioning (just finds them more comfortable)

Tamaki Suoh

GNC (Gender Non-Conforming) man

Likes gendered terms but doesn't "feel" like a man in the traditional sense of the word

Uses He/Him pronouns mostly, but doesn't mind the occasional She/Her

If you asked what his sexuality and romantic attraction is, he literally could not tell you to save his Club's life

Was certainly the last one to realize that Haruhi wasn't cis, but was also the loudest in terms of support for them

Day after finding out, literally spent nearly three thousand dollars on new clothes and outfits for Haruhi alone

Refuses to use Haruhi's trans-ness as a "selling point", but does accidentally revere them even more

Has once thrown a bigot through a window because they were being transphobic to Haruhi, terrified everyone in the room

Dragged the bigot back up and threw them through another window (or five)

Kyoya Ootori

Masculine Nonbinary (still calls himself a man)

Uses He/Him exclusively

Doesn't really care about sex or romance (he would probably call himself asexual and aromantic if asked)

Went to Haruhi about the records before saying anything to the rest of the Club, and even helps them change it to M in the school's records

Definitely is the first Haruhi comes to about this, and is quietly supportive, mostly in correcting pronouns

Definitely gets what Haruhi means when it comes to gender, and both have long and deep conversations about gender

When Tamaki threw the bigot out the window, just starting grumbling about how much this would cost to repair

Has threatened people with fiancial ruin if they are shitty to Haruhi about their gender more than once

Eventually came about his own gender to help take some of the pressure off Haruhi

Kaoru Hitachiin

Nonbinary

He/Them/She pronouns

Almost violently bisexual

Along with Hikaru, were the third group of people that Haruhi came out to about their trans-ness proper, and it helped them realize their own nonbinary gender

Went with Tamaki to help get Haruhi clothes (and definitely didn't get stuff for himself to steal from Haruhi when they didn't want it)

Was the first to shut Hikaru down about "selling" their gender to get more people into the Club

When he comes out, he ends up joining Haruhi and Kyoya in the deep gender talks

Was never comfy with the "Twins were Star-Crossed Lovers in Another Life" deal, and does end up getting that to stop

Has bitten someone because they said something transphobic

Hikaru Hitachiin

Man but in a queer sense

He/It pronouns

Couldn't tell you (uses bisexual, if only for ease)

Relates to Tamaki in terms of gender a lot

Suggested "selling" gender as a way to get more clients in, not out of malice but just because he thought it'd be a "good way to make more money"

Is insanely supportive of both his twin and Haruhi, and has done research and studying of queer history

Can and will go off on a rant about Stonewall and any queer riots he knows about

Made and hung up a sign after the others come out explaining what is and isn't okay to do in terms of questions about gender

Has purposefully poured scalding tea onto a client who called Haruhi an "it"

With that same client, said that one of his pronouns was it, but that only those close to him could use it

Also threw that client out and blacklisted her personally

Mitsukuni "Honey" Haninozuka

Nonbinary (uses xenogenders, mostly Honeygender, Cutegender, and Cakegender)

Uses He/They/It/Cute/Candy/Cake pronouns

Cupioromantic and doesn't know his sexuality

Was actually part of the second group that Haruhi properly came out with about their being trans

Realized that was an option and went into a deep dive

Came out of it incredibly gender-queer, and having at least three xenogenders, and probably more

Uses neopronouns and adores them, but only lets the Club use them

Is part of the reason why Hikaru had to make the sign

Went with Tamaki and Kaoru to the mall for clothes for Haruhi, and bought himself a lotta cute stuff

Once broke some transphobe's knee because they tried to get shitty with him and in response, it's elbow went straight into their knee

Gets into weird gender conversations with Haruhi and their parent

Takashi "Mori" Morinozuka

Masculine Nonbinary

Uses He/Them/E/Em, the latter two only being used by the Club in private

Aromantic and Asexual

Was not surprised when Haruhi (and later Honey) came out to him as nonbinary

Already realized his own gender, and helped Honey when he went on his deep dive

Helped Haruhi pick through the clothes Tamaki gifted them

While he lets the others have their deep conversations about gender, he's usually the one Haruhi goes to when they don't want to have deep and serious talks about gender

Has helped Haruhi with their binder more than once, and was also the one who paid for their top surgery in it's entirety when they started to look for a doctor who could do it

#ouran high school host club #headcanons #transmasc #trans man #enjoy the gender fuckery nerds #yes i made them all queer. no i don't regret it. #i know i typically just used the first pronoun but shhhhh #could i add more tags? yes. am i going to? n o. #ignore any and all spelling errors

[agentof-chaos]

I can't even begin to describe how much the casual lgbt representation in She-Ra matters to me. For so long I have gone without seeing anything more than the bare minimum and it wasn't until I actively started searching for queer stories that I realized just how hard it can be to find well-written queer stories. (Especially wlw ones! Almost all the representation I'd seen before She-Ra was mlm, and there's nothing wrong with that, but as a bisexual woman, some variety would be nice.)

Anyway, here's some semi-coherent rambling about it:

I freaked out every time I got even a hint at representation in the show. It didn't matter how small, because I'd been so used to having practically nothing.

The confirmed Spinnerella/Netossa relationship? The fact that they are canonically married? When I first saw it I was shocked that the show hadn't just implied it, but actually confirmed it.

Bow canonically having two dads? I'd never before seen a main character in a show with lgbt parents, and I'd never seen it handled so casually before either. The whole plot of Bow basically "coming out" as a soldier in the episode where their introduced was truly genius.

Double Trouble's entire existence of a nonbinary character? Iconic. And it had been so casual the first time another character referred to them using they/them pronouns that I almost didn't catch it, but it made me excited regardless.

Don't even get me started on the Catradora kiss in the finale. I had been shipping them the whole way through, and although I figured once we got to the finale that the creators would at least imply that their relationship was canon, I was so excited when they not only implied it, but confirmed it in the show. When we get Adora's vision in the finale of the future that implies her and Catra would end up together, I had honestly thought that was the most we were going to get in regards to confirming their relationship. Imagine my surprise when they had actually said "I love you" to each other. I had gotten so happy the first time I saw it, and for it to have been followed with them actually kissing on screen, made my bi self unimaginably happy. I practically screamed the first time I watched it.

I had been so used to having low expectations that with She-Ra every minor detail that even hinted at representation mattered to me. I went into the show knowing it was gay, but I also went into the show with the previous experience of seeing majority mlm stories, usually in books from the YA genre, and if it was a show or movie, then it was swept aside.

Before watching She-Ra, I'd never seen anything that had quite as much variety in the representation, never seen anything that normalized it as easily, and I had certainly never seen anything that was openly queer in a show where the target audience was kids. And there's something about the fact that it's a show that's accessible to children that made that representation matter so much more to me. Because not only did they normalize it and have such variety in their representation, they made queer relationships that kids were going to see. There's something that's so much more wholesome and pure in romantic relationships in kids shows, and it's a type of relationship that we really don't see that often in other forms of media with lgbt representation.

I know She-Ra wasn't the first show targeted towards kids to have lgbt representation in it. Steven Universe, for example, was a truly groundbreaking predecessor, but I can't actually compare it to She-Ra because I never actually watched it. All I know is that it was important for getting the representation in She-Ra to become a reality, and for that, I will forever be grateful. My point is: the representation in She-Ra was the first time that I had ever seen that kind of representation, and it is so incredibly important to me and I will always appreciate all the queer representation that we get from it. I honestly think that it was the first thing that made me realize that I could be getting more out of lgbt representation in media, which makes it so very special to me.

#she ra #she ra netflix #spop #catradora #catra #she ra adora #adora x catra #bow she ra #double trouble #lgbt representation #queer representation #queer media

[stormysapphic]

I don't use the term bi lesbian myself, but I am bi sexually and lesbian romantically? when I first saw it I thought that was what people meant? I feel a bit alienated from all the different communities because I'd have to exaggerate or lie/closet parts of myself to fit in. I think micro labels are, broadly speaking, bad but I also think encouraging people to hide parts of themselves is not great? I wish I could just say I'm bi and have that be understood to include my perspective, but I've had some pretty nasty experiences with that being used to exclude me or as an excuse for being cruel within a wlw context, and I guess I understand the impulse to try and stop people from seeing you as that stereotype they think is okay to judge/malign etc when that doesn't reflect your reality. Ultimately I think that that's on other ppl for being biphobic, so I won't cave to that pressure personally. At the same time it would be accurate to say I'm bi, and that I'm gay/lesbian, depending on how you understand those terms, and I can see why someone would want to not have to choose or to be selectively hiding one all the time.

I do just wish we didn't really lean so much on stereotyping/'identity politicals' as a stand in for political action/ understanding identities and each other, I think it may often do a lot of harm and be a way that desire for material political change becomes sublimated/transformed into infighting to the benefit of our oppressors... shrug emoji

that's something i almost included as an aside in my post! the acknowledgement that i do understand people may want to carry "all of themselves" with them all of the time, being "bi lesbians" 100% of the time instead of being a "lesbian" in lesbian contexts and "bi" in bi contexts. however, i wasn't ever really talking about having to do that, having to actually hide yourself/parts of yourself in any situation. take my example of a lesbian support group: when i say that a bi woman could go to a meeting like that and sort of "adopt" the lesbian label while there, i don't mean that they would have to hide that they're actually bi. in my experience, the vast majority of lesbian resources/events/etc. are welcoming of openly bi people... but there most certainly are also those that aren't. and i don't think there's anything wrong with having lesbian-only - or bi-only! - spaces for peer support and such, but if you only have resources to host one thing, it probably should be open to everyone who needs it. anyway, that "centering one of your identities for the time being but still not hiding the other(s)" thing applies to more casual situations too, in my own experience - if i'm hanging out in a group of my bi and lesbian friends and one of us says "look at all of us lesbos <3", everyone present knows who's "actually" bi and not lesbian, but no one (hopefully) has an issue with that remark referring to them as well, in the context of a bunch of wlw having fun together. the bi people present are still fully seen and appreciated as bi (and obviously i wouldn't want to, even casually, call a bi person a lesbian if they felt it was indeed erasing their identity). same way, i can be genderqueer and alternately take on the social role of "woman" or "man" when/if i want to, even if my internal sense of gender is the same throughout (and i mean, you don't necessarily even have to be genderqueer/nonbinary to do that). however, i definitely recognise that my current situation irl (at least for the most part) is very fortunate - i've been able to surround myself with people who share my values, such as wlw solidarity across identities. i'm really sorry that you've faced vitriol and felt like you couldn't be fully yourself in your communities. that's the stuff i'm probably most worried about when it comes to "bi lesbian discourse" - the vitriol between our communities and/or bi lesbians feeling like they don't fit in anywhere anymore just because people who don't know what they're talking about are saying some shit like "if you're dating a man you can never ever ever show up at an event that's labeled 'lesbian' - or, if the event is in fact open to people who date men despite it being a 'lesbian event', then they're in the Wrong too". thanks for sharing your thoughts! <3

#Anonymous #answered

[disquiet-doll]

thinking about the terms tme/tma again

this will get long and rambly, maybe (imagine how embarrassing this note will be if i barely write like 2 paragraphs here lol)

(Note before anything: I have written on this subject before and some of what I'm about to say I'm repeating, but I looked back at that post and disagreed with much of it enough to deleted it despite my generally archivist nature. Sorry lol.)

So the first, and probably most important thing is: I mean good terms to have for like, discussions, yeah? Kind of important to be able to note the concept of who is and isn't affected by transmisogny in discussions of it.

Of course, I have said before that basically everyone is affected by transmisogyny, and that is something I believe! But as always with these kinds of things there's a difference between the primarily targeted and secondarily affected* by bigotry, and so while the terminology is a bit imprecise for those things like... It's fine enough.

(Of course it does open the gate of "Ok but who IS primarily affected, like obviously trans woman, and surely most transfeminine nonbinary people, but the lines between these and other genderfuckery are blurry". And that's true! Who's being shot at and who's catching strays - to use a perhaps overly violent analogy for the context - can be complicated question!

...One I should offer an answer to, but I don't have one. Sorry!)

But with that out of the way, I should address the ACTUAL complaint that usually comes up with the terms: The idea that asking about it is, effectively (like asking someone if they are afab or amab) asking "What's in your pants?". I have a few thoughts on this.

The first is that in a general sense, not really? If you don't know someone's gender at all the being told they're tme tells you nothing but "not transfem". Cis men, trans men, cis woman, varying sectors of the amorphous blob that makes up non-binary identity... It covers more than it doesn't.

The problem instead is, to me, that being told they're tma means they are transfem. Given the amount of trans women who aren't openly such online to ward off harassment I hope the issue here is clear! I'm open about my identity (perhaps more than I should be), but if I wasn't it certainly wouldn't be a question I enjoy getting.

(This is also why I don't particularly like the posts I've seen that amount to "if you won't identify as tma or tme I know you're tme". I would hope after incidents like Isabel Fall "trans women have to identify themselves to be allowed to speak" would be a less commonly taken stance, but alas.**)

The second is that within the trans community yes, it does basically mean that. Not necessarily - amab nonbinary people with no particular attachment to femininity do exist after all; I should know, I was one of them for quite a while!*** - but often enough that I can hardly fault people for seeing it as such.

However, this leads into my third thought: That I don't actually think that's such a big deal lol. Like, yes, the information gleaned is almost the same as asking someone's genital configuration directly, but so does asking someone's sexuality ask "What kind of people do you like to fuck?". The fact that it's a more tactful version of the question is actually quite relevant! It's not just some rhetorical slight of hand!

Now, to be clear: If the response you get is "that's none of your business" you should respect that, but I don't think the question itself is the worst thing in the world. It's information that is sometimes relevant, or just something you want to know! Certainly, I can't fault a transfem for feeling more comfortable around other, similar people.

Just, you know. Privacy is also a fine thing to want, and assuming the worst of anyone who wishes for it is, I think, not the best.

*I dislike the concept of bigotry being "misdirected" or equivalent terms, so I won't be referring to it in this way, but the "person is mistaken for a member of an oppressed group and attacked for it" situations are what I mean here. **Also, not great for questioning people! Someone unsure if they're a trans woman may be unsure if they "count", since they haven't been directly affected but like, saying no implies something they don't want either. The response to this from some is likely "if she's a trans woman she always has been, and so has always been tma" but... Ehhh, not everyone sees themself that way (Example: I don't!) ***Also, bottom surgery exists lol. Even someone saying they're tma does not in fact instantly answer the "What's in your pants" question.

#musing #this may be incoherent

[chaosgodray]

So, there's something that needs clarifying. My Gender Identity is "they/them enby on feminizing hormones who presents very masculine." It's unwieldy and kinda silly. Valid, but unwieldy.

Thing is, it's intentionally a transitory stage of my life. I'm invoking denial tropes while medically going full throttle because, well, there are a few factors. So first off, my job is not a safe space. My boss is a transphobe. (He's also a moron and a doormat, but he's a transphobe). I work at a warehouse manning a security checkpoint; I deal with a wide variety of smelly people who drive big rigs for a living. Not all of them come off as the kind of people who would respect me as a trans woman (certainly not as an openly nonbinary person). I don't present male because I necessarily want to, but because I have to for safety reasons. Hence the goatee, an easily maintained demarcation of alleged maleness that I don't think looks godawful like what i look like with a full beard.

Point two: I've been so up my ass in doubts that I didn't take my hrt for about 3 months, and on top of that I kept getting denial haircuts or thinking "I'll just buy a wig hahaha" (BAD IDEA 0/10 do not reccomend). So while I've been on HRT since Jan. 2021, there's three months of stalling in the middle thereof.

Third thing, the big one: I'm plural. I'm self-diagnosed with OSDD (the non-amnesiac variant of DID) but my therapist and psychologist at the time both made no effort to deny my feelings. I have had significant dissociative breaks from my/our "core identity" that, in our mind, reinforce our confidence in the self-diagnosis.

the main factor of that is, "Ray" refers to a larger group of people than a single individual. it includes at least Jake, Ray, and Rachel, and potentially also includes Blu-Ray, Jennifer, Refraction, Hyperion, Barry, Rose, and Calem. This is the level zero and level one of our concentric rings model of our plurality. While pronouns, genders, appearance, sexuality, memories, even SPECIES varies among us, the ten of us share enough in common that we can't tell each other apart sometimes, and (this is the kicker) MIGHT NOT ACTUALLY ALL BE SEPARATE PEOPLE. (Rachel and Jennifer might be the same alter, same with Ray, Blu-Ray, and Refraction. Rose we genuinely had to invent/retcon an explanation for because they fronted for a few days without realizing if they were a new person or not and we haven't seen them since.)

It gets more confusing. Jake is explicitly, actually [DEADNAME REDACTED], the host from earliest memories to 2018-2019 or so. He was functionally DEAD for like two years before we did an edible and had a really bad reaction. To quote him at the time, "I'm vibing with my deadname, my brain is convinced it's 2018, and please close the curtains and turn out the lights because I can't stop staring at the sun." Weed is fucking wild. And he not only stuck around, he took his life back.

So let's talk about Ray. Not Ray the singletsona we project to the world, Ray the alter. but to talk about ray we have to talk about nate. Nate is a bigender foxkin roseboy nature spirit. He is adorable but not very mature. Thing is, She was the host for the first few months of our being open about our plurality, because no one else was up to the task or wanted the job. This was like spring of 2021 and Rachel (1) (we assume) was dormant after an identity crisis that resulted in our acceptance of our plurality. (it's possible we've been plural since ~2017, but definitely since 2020). Once Nate realized he wasn't up to the task, having had a series of mental breakdowns that lost us the only job we've ever had with growth potential, she basically CREATED Ray to be the mature adult we needed to host the system. Ray traded off hosting with Nate, blended with basically everyone at one point or another, stopped existing only to come back, blended with nate long term, blended with jake long term, possibly blended with jennifer to re-form rachel before rachel became a separate entity who may have absorbed jennifer (also jennifer is actually rachel 2 and rachel is rachel 3)...

its complicated, and we barely understand this. and keep in mind, this has in no way stabilized. going back to the beginning of this post, we are actively doing fucky gender stuff that doesn't necessarily make sense, and this is why. The "pilot" of the body isn't consistent or easy to determine most days.

Just the easiest example: Jake and Ray. Jake and Ray look very similar (and like the body). Jake and Ray have the same underlying personality. Jake and Ray are so good at pretending to be each other they fool themselves. What's the difference between Jake and Ray? Jake wears jean jackets and uses he/they. Ray wears flannel and uses they/them (usually). sometimes, jake and ray blend into RJ. Who is RJ? The same person as jake and ray, they just are both simultaneously. maybe. IT'S CONFUSING.

Then there's Refraction, aka Empty Spaces Ray, Blu-Ray aka more effeminate Ray with blue hair, whatever the extant version of Rachel is aka Rule 63 Ray, Rose aka Butch Rachel, Hyperion aka angry horny dragon Ray with no filter and many fewer inhibitions...

BUT

there is a plan. As we move forward in our transition, the progesterone scrip we got recently takes effect, we properly grow our hair out, our breasts get too big to ignore (and we finally buy a damn bra for them), we (hopefully) get an orchiectomy, we lose a little weight on our stomach (or it redistributes in a more feminine/sexually attractive fashion), we shave our body more often while needing to do so less, etc.. We can blossom into a beautiful woman.

Something that's been happening recently is pretty bad dysphoria attacks that coincide, with or without us realizing, with Rachel fronting. Our goal is simple: let the HRT work its magic, give it a little push, and then Rachel takes over as host. Ray disperses, Jake goes dormant (he doesn't feel like he fits in in our social circle that's mostly trans women since he's on the line between cis and nonbinary, and it embarrasses him). The others come and go as they please.

This post ended up longer than I intended but if you value me/us as a friend or just want an insight into how plurality works for some systems (no two systems are the same but some work similarly), please give this a thorough read. it'd mean a lot to us <3

signing off,

Jake, Ray, Rachel, Refraction, Barry, Calem, Hyperion, Blu-Ray, Rose, Jennifer, Nate, Serena, Maisie, Shockwave, Ginger, Lilith, Spider, Steven, Shelby, and Toby

The Sunbeam Collective

#plural pride #plural positivity #wall of text #transgender #nonbinary #we have a 21st member (Terry) but he's an unrepentant douchebag who isn't allowed to talk because he only speaks in insults and slurs

[cazort]

Hey just a heads up, a terf with the username @/rabid-tarantulas is following you. Just wanted to let you know so you can block if you need

I have a lot to say in response to this ask. So first, thanks for writing and I do appreciate the desire to help.

I am aware of this user, I discovered them through this post of theirs, which was explicitly affirming of intersex openly not identifying on the gender binary, which is something I support.

Now a big comment here, that I'd encourage you and everyone to reflect on: I don't ever like using the term "terf" to refer to people. TERF is an ideology, Trans-Exclusionary Radical Feminism. Calling a person a "terf" is problematic in a long list of ways, one of which is that people don't adhere to the idelogy in an all-or-nothing way. When we call certain people TERFs and not others, it gives the wrong impression that you can cleanly categorize people into the TERF or non-TERF bin. I've noticed that a lot of people who claim to oppose TERF ideology, actually hold a lot of views that seem TERF-adjacent. I can't even count how many times "progressive" people who openly advertise that they support trans rights, have suddenly flipped on me, throwing my pronoun preference and nonbinary identity out the window, and attacking me as a "man", just because I disagreed with something they say. It's like, oh, trans people deserve respect and I'll acknowledge their identity and defer to their pronoun preference but only if they agree with me. Yes, I've had both cis and trans people treat me this way.

But it's also problematic to call people "a terf" like as a noun, because it's a negative label. It's a personal attack. But it's also not particularly truthful the way it is used. For example, I've been conversing with the user you drew attention to here, and they are certainly not someone who fits the profile of "typical TERF" viewpoints.

Over the years I've conversed with a lot of people who identify as radical feminists, "gender critical" feminists (the newer term for TERF ideology used by people who support or adhere to those viewpoints), and lots of others who hold varying degrees of TERF-adjacent viewpoints, and one thing that is clear is that there is a huge range of viewpoints among people who post TERF or TERF-adjacent content. These viewpoints range from stuff that is overtly hateful towards trans people, to stuff that is aggressively dismissing of trans people's identities but not overtly hateful, to stuff that is dismissive of trans people's identities but more respectfully worded. TERF ideology is also frequently associated with man-hating, but the degree to which people get into this varies hugely.

I think a lot of the ideas in TERF are untruthful, and as such I think it's important to challenge them. However I also think some of the disagreements between TERF and mainstream progressive ideologies surrounding trans people, are more a question of semantics or differing definitions than anything else. I also sometimes dislike how mainstream trans activism has pushed ideas into the mainstream, and some of those ideas can be problematic at times too, and just like TERF, it can be problematic how these ideas are advanced.

For example, I know a lot of older trans people who use terms like MtF, FtM, and use language like "I was born a woman / I became a man / etc." and I have seen people who use the newer terminology attack, argue with, and publicly shame these other people, saying they are "wrong" or are promoting "transphobic" viewpoints when they're just using the language that helped them through their journey of discovery of their trans identity.

I get really uncomfortable too with the idea that it's bad to interact with someone just because you disagree with them, and with any sort of social norms that encourage people to push out and ostracize others.

Like the fact that you wrote an ask to me, about a user who has only liked and reblogged a few of my posts, starting in the past 24 hours, makes me wonder how many other users you have contacted. I recognize you are probably trying to help, but I also am not sure that what you are doing is going to be having the effect that you think it has. What would happen if anyone who ever voiced any TERF-adjacent viewpoints, were totally shunned and ostracized by the community of trans-supportive people on Tumblr? It's not going to ban these people, it's just going to isolate them to where they only interact with other people who have viewpoints that are not particularly supportive of or respectful to trans people. It virtually guarantees that these people will become further radicalized.

Do you want to create a world where people are isolated of people into echo chambers where everyone is surrounded only by people who think exactly alike?

I don't. I find this idea horrifying. And we already see this on a lot of the other social media, like Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, and Twitter, where the algorithmic feeds show people more of what they want to see and create echo chambers and reinforce groupthink. And predictably, politics gets more polarized, extremism rises in many different forms. I've seen the shift over the past two decades of my life and it's been horrific. Back when I was a teenager, I could converse with people with a wide range of political views and they'd more-or-less be respectful of me and of each other. Even the worst presidents in my life, like Reagan, were respectful when they talked about their political opponents. Now we have unhinged people like Trump, and people think that anyone with views other than theirs are necessarily hateful people, bad people, and "the enemy". It's terribly unhealthy. And it contributes to mental illness too.

I can protect myself. I block people on this site almost every day, if you count bots, and still pretty frequently if you only count real users.

If a user posts stuff that I don't like, I won't follow them. I don't need to block them unless they're either messaging me disrespectful stuff, adding disrespectful commentary on reblogs of my post, or posting content I find disrespectful or annoying in tags that I browse.

But no, I don't want to block this user, at least not unless they become much more disrespectful to me than they have been. And I would encourage you and anyone reading this to reconsider both the practice of labeling people TERF's, and the practice of encouraging people to block anyone they see voice TERF or TERF-adjacent views. And I'd also encourage you and everyone to introspect and consider whether or not you harbor any TERF-adjacent views yourself, because it's something that, in my experience, a lot of people actually do harbor.

And on top of that I would also encourage you to more broadly, embrace the idea that it is good for people who have different viewpoints to interact. Sometimes people are disrespectful and then you can block them. That's fine. But it is rare that it is in any way warranted to go around warning other users about someone. That would require a truly dangerous level of negative behavior far beyond anything I have seen here.

#asks #anon ask #terf #transphobia #gender critical #groupthink #echo chamber #social media

[olliecoded]

had an interesting conversation w a trans nonbinary friend of mine (let's call them mabel because i don't want to drop real names) today about how cis people view trans liberation. they were talking about an ex-girlfriend of theirs (we'll call them sarah) who used she/they pronouns while still identifying as cis and how it felt almost performative, to which i asked why they felt that way, because i think it's extremely important to allow cis people to use pronouns and present in ways that don't necessarily "match" their gender identity. if we only allow that for trans people, then we have a serious problem with our ideas of trans and gnc liberation. and i explained this to mabel; i made it abundantly clear that i think cis people should be able to use whatever pronouns make them comfortable while still identifying as cis.

what mabel explained was that they had felt continuously invalidated while dating sarah. sarah called them her "girlfriend" rather than partner, refused to discuss their lesbianism with mabel (but talked about it with cis women), and openly admitted she'd never looked into any trans history or culture. the problem, mabel felt, was that they were being treated as a woman. sarah respected their pronouns but mabel felt that she didn't really see them as a nonbinary person. and mabel agreed that they think cis people should be able to use whatever pronouns they want, but it hurts sometimes because there are certain people (sarah being one such person) who will do and say borderline transphobic things and still expect to be included in transgender activism. sarah wants all the posts from trans people about how cis people can use pronouns that don't match their gender identity, and they want all the posts about how trans liberation needs to include cis people, and they want trans activism to be centered around them. but when it comes down to it, she refused to read about/study/educate herself about any trans history or culture, and continued doing things that made mabel feel invalidated in their gender identity. it's worth mentioning that mabel is afab and very feminine-presenting. i say this only to emphasize that cis people very often have issues with nonbinary people who are not androgynous, and specifically those who present in ways that traditionally align with their agab, because cis people like to force nonbinaryism into a box.

i think it was an interesting conversation, and it is certainly something i've noticed amongst cis "allies." it goes hand-in-hand with the way cis people used to only use they/them pronouns for me back when i used he/they, but then would turn around and expect to be mentioned in activist literature and posts because they were gender nonconforming. and the thing is that cis people do need to be mentioned in our transgender activism. we need to make it clear that cis people can experiment with gender expression in whatever ways they want. but cis people have begun to expect that from us without offering any allyship in return beyond putting "trans women are women" in their instagram bios. what mabel was concerned about is that so many cis people are doing this that trans people themselves will begin to be shoved out of the transgender/gnc conversation.

anyway, keep including gnc cis people in your transgender activism. it's important. but remain critical of gnc cis people whose allyship does not extend to all transgender people, including those who do not fit into their easy little stereotypical boxes. just because a cis person uses untraditional pronouns doesn't make them an instant ally.

#queer #queer culture #transgender #transsexual #trans culture #transgender culture #tw transphobia #implied transphobia #implied queerphobia

[jeanjauthor]

Where are the Crouching Weakling / Hidden Badass Girl stories??

...Why are all these power-trip anime fantasies about guys?

Specifically, I’m talking about the heroic lead character being “this unique boy has PHENOMENAL COSMIC POWER!, but he pretends to have NO powers so everyone thinks he’s weak / dull / uninteresting / leaves him alooooone!”

Don’t get me wrong; it can be a fun fantasy to play out!

BUT...:

Not a single girl power-trip fantasy in the category of crouching weakling hidden badass trope in anime-land that I can find.  (That one about the girl waking up in the body of the villainess of a fantasy anime she was playing doesn’t count; she’s literally in the role of the villain, not the hero, and she most definitely does not have phenomenal cosmic powers, or she wouldn’t be stuck in that position!)

I think the popularity of the trope may have to do with the standard male fantasy trope of being overpowered and cool...but NOT wanting to be seen as a braggart, asshole, bully, or thoughtless, heartless, senseless type.  As in:  “See??  I can be trusted with PHENOMENAL COSMIC POWAH!, and still totally be non-destructive-minded and thus love/worship-worthy!!!”  (Except far too many end up being played as aloof and uncaring, and too few are actually gentle and kind.)

It’s like...wanting to play the gentle giant without being seen as a giant, gentle or otherwise, but also wanting to play the cool loner anti-hero type...and of course “the poor picked-on-nerd who secretly can get revenge ANY TIME he wants”...  All of which can be fun tropes to play with!

BUT...

Virtually NONE of them are GIRLS.

The closest is probably the anime I’ve Been Killing Slimes For 300 Years And Maxed Out My Level...but I honestly don’t think it counts, because she didn’t know she had PHENOMENAL COSMIC POWER for all 300 of those years (or at least the latter portions of it as her powers leveled up)...and she certainly didn’t START with PHENOMENAL COSMIC POWAAAR!!!, which is a defining segment of the trope in question.  These types of characters start with massively powerful abilities, they know they have them, and they choose to hide them.

(This kinda includes being born knowing adult levels of knowledge and training throughout childhood to be vastly overpowered, including being inserted into a body at a very young age...but most of the time we never see a training montage of any type in the purest examples for this trope.)

As for Bofuri: I Don’t Want To Get Hurt, So I’ll Max Out My Defense, this one doesn’t count either.  Maple doesn’t start with PHENOMENAL COSMIC POWERRRR!!...because literally all she starts out with is high defense.  That’s it.  Not even a sword.  No agility, no strength, no magic, no combat skills, etc...  She also certainly doesn’t hide the fact she has these abilities!  Again, not a qualifying member of the trope!

And no, someone who has a family lineage of being powerful doesn’t count either, so no JoJo’s Adventures or anything.  These characters are one-offs, uniques, the-only-kid-to-ever-be-like-this types.

Writers?  We need to fill in this gap!

Give me a seemingly dour, bored, put-upon female oh so boring and VERRRRRRY NORMAL-seeming...but with PHENOMENAAAL COSSMIIIIIIC POOOOWAAAAAAARRRR!!! who pretends to be a boring nerdy type who would rather be bullied a little bit (but never too much) than have to be fawned over for being SOOPER DOOPER POWAAAHRFULLLL!!.

///Except I’d also love to see a happy-go-lucky SECRITLY SOOPAH POWAHED type who is openly gentle and kind, whether or not they’re male, female, or nonbinary.  A sort of Crouching Ray Of Sunshine / Hidden TERRIFYING ELDRICH BEING YOU JUST COMPLETELY PISSED OFF YOU JERK BEG FOR YOUR END TO COME SWIFTLY, who then goes back to being a cheerful beaming ray of sunshine afterward.

(Extra bonus points if you make it so that all her friends are blatantly NOT afraid of her the instant after shes done blowing up, even if Newbie McNewcomer is shaking in his boots and in serious need of a shower and a fresh change of pants...because her friends know she’s not mad at THEM; she was simply mad at the meanies who were trying to hurt them, and now she’s back to being calm and sweet and huggable again, so her friends happily hug her.  Seriously, extra bonus points for that.  Have them ask,  “Are you okay now? / done being mad? / satisfied with how they’ve been punished?”  have her say “Yup!” or something like that, and everybody is happy & relaxed again...because the Cowering In Fear Of The Exploded Ray Of Sunshine is a bit overdone as a trope, too.  Oh, and no friends exploiting her explodability to use it to threaten others.  None Of That Kind Of “Friend” thank you!)

...And yes, I’m having fun textually exaggerating the extensive powers part...

Of course, I’m now wondering if Ia qualifies for the trope.  She is born sorta knowing, and then eventually knows for damn sure, and trains in secret, then keeps it a secret for years...but it was never to avoid being bothered or fawned over; it was literally a matter of timing.  She had to hide it for X number of years months & days, and then she had to reveal it at a specific place time & occasion.  It’s not as if her plans to keep her powers hidden were wrecked by outside forces; she chose to reveal them!

And she certainly doesn’t use her FUN-NOM-NOMINAL COZ-MICK POWAHS just to erase the memories others have of her unbelievable powers, as is often a trope, too.  For one, that would be unethical in the extreme & get her hunted down and either lobotomized or slain outright. For another, she miiiiight be strong enough as a telepath, but she’d only be able to do one person at a time, and memory alteration takes more skill than she’s ever bothered to practice

For a third...she actually doesn’t have “phenomenal cosmic powers.”  She cannot snap her fingers and rewrite reality.

So I’d have to call Ia phenomenally powered (absolutely yes, no denying that one!)... but... she cannot change the cosmos, so that’s a No to the cosmic powers.  Close, but not quite close enough.  She simply doesn’t have the full package.

So...does anyone know an anime where the gal has truly phenomenal cosmic powers, but hides them like a Crouching Boring Weakling / Hidden Fearsome Badass type?

[blasphemousxo]

It’s so strange to me, where I’m at now with my identity. I never had a time I thought I was straight really. Since I was 13, it was woman I wanted to be with. I lost my virginity to my best friend who I’d go onto fall in love with and we were each others first loves. And other than hiding the relationship from our parents, we were openly gay in school. Same with my high school girlfriend. Sure I swapped labels around a few times, but women were the default for me, never men.

I had the high school romance a lot of lgbt people wish they could have had. I asked my high school girlfriend out with a mix cd of her favourite songs in a custom case I made that when opened said “let’s make this official, will you be mine?” I’d go to football games to watch her perform in the marching band every Friday. We’d go to each others band/choir concerts. Her promposal was to send me on a scavenger hunt through the school where one of our friends were at significant places to our relationship in the school and they each had a rose and a riddle leading me to the next location. Eventually I ended up in the band room where she was standing with a bouquet of roses and a huge sign on the wall asking me to go to prom with her. Young lesbians that we knew looked up to me and her because we were the dream gay high school romance.

Then after high school I started experimenting with my gender identity. I was nonbinary for a long time and dabbled in being transmasc. All of this after I decided that no I do actually find men attractive so I’m bisexual. Being queer is so deep in my identity.

But in the past year, I settled my identity back on being a cis woman. I explored as much as I could and can confidently say I know my identity now. And I know I’m still bisexual. I love women, loving women has always came naturally and always will. I just happen to also like men and have been dating men since I was 20. And I’m happy with that. Will I never date a woman again? Who knows! I certainly go through periods of sapphic yearning still!

But I feel like everyone sees me now as straight. And I’ve noticed I don’t fit in as well in queer spaces anymore. I tried out an lgbt therapy group and I felt very out of place. Like I wasn’t queer enough, that I couldn’t relate to these people despite my history. And all of my coworkers (the only people I see outside of my boyfriend and family) are all straight so I’ve grown accustomed to talking to straight people and finding ways of relating to them. So much so, I feel like I’ve lost my queerness. Even my boyfriend, who never knew me when I was a lesbian, doubts that I even like woman at all. It’s so bizarre.

I have no conclusion to this, it’s just very weird for me that I don’t fit into queer spaces anymore despite my teenage romances that were very defining in my character development.

#salandria.txt #lgbtq #queer #bisexual #lesbian #just some late night thoughts

[biglisbonnews]

Kim Petras Is the First Trans Artist To Win a Grammy Her unholiness Kim Petras is breaking barriers as the first openly transgender woman to win a Grammy. On Sunday night, the 30-year-old German singer took home a Grammy in the Best Pop Duo/Group Performance category for "Unholy," her collaboration with singer Sam Smith, with whom she likewise makes history as the first nonbinary duo. Related | Kim Petras Is the First Out Trans Artist to Hit No. 1 on Billboard Hot 100While delivering an emotional acceptance speech, Petras thanked Smith, who ceded the stage for her to appear solo, as well as transgender artists who have come before her — calling out the late Sophie, who was nominated for a Grammy before her death in 2020. \u201cKim petras thanked Sophie during her Grammy acceptance speech I\u2019m actually crying\u201d — \ud835\udc9e. (@\ud835\udc9e.) 1675649416 "I just want to thank all the incredible transgender legends performing who kicked these doors open for me so I could be here tonight," she said. "[Sophie] told me this would happen, and always believed in me. Thank you so much for your inspiration, Sophie. I adore you."Petras also cited Madonna as a champion of LGBTQ rights in entertainment, saying, "Madonna for fighting for LGBTQ rights, thank you so much, I don't think I could be here without Madonna," she said. Madonna later introduced Smith and Petras for their live performance of "Unholy."Finally, Petras thanked her mother for believing in her, nodding to her upbringing by noting that she hails from "nowhere Germany": "My mother believed me that I was a girl and I wouldn't be here without her and her support." Ahead of the awards ceremony, Petras and Smith hit the red carpet in matching red outfits accompanied by a similarly crimson-hued entourage. The group included drag queens Violet Chachki and Gottmik who joined them on stage for their performance.While not the first trans artist to win a Grammy, Petras certainly is one of the most visible. Wendy Carlos was the first openly trans woman to win taking home three Grammy awards for her album Switched-on Bach in 1968. Brazilian singer-songwriter, Liniker, became the first trans artist to win a Latin Grammy in 2022. This Grammy marks a fifth win for Smith, who first took home a gilded gramophone in 2015. The 30-year-old "Lay Me Down" singer came out as non-binary in 2019, and changed their pronouns to they/them that year. Petras and Smith's song previously achieved an unprecedented milestone when Petras became the first trans artist to hit number one on the Billboard Hot 100. That accomplishment fulfilled a personal goal for Petras, who told PAPER back in 2017: "I just want to prove people wrong. I want to get a Number 1 on the [Billboard] Hot 100." \u201comg i\u2019m a tranny with a grammy \u2026\u201d — kim petras (@kim petras) 1675652919 Photo by Jay L. Clendenin / Los Angeles Times via Getty Images https://www.papermag.com/kim-petras-trans-artist-grammys-2659375418.html

#Sam smith #Grammys 2023 #Grammys #Kim petras #Dan Q. Dao #PAPER

[quietfangirltranscription]

I think working at a renaissance faire has really helped me realize the importance of a community that accepts the strange, weird, and otherwise not normal people.

At least the entertainment side of things really feels like a community. At my faire, that is. I don’t know about other ones. Because you have this gigantic group of people, pre-pandemic we numbered upwards of 300, all here voluntarily. All of us with the weird interests, the niche hobbies, the massive nerds of all kinds. Every gender under the sun and some more from the dark side of the moon, all kinds of romantic and sexual orientations, all different races, all different ages, from all different places.

Every morning I used to play the license plate game, trying to find a plate from the furthest state. I think I could fill out a full map of the United States just by picking license plates in the staff parking.

I met my first transgender adult when I was working at faire. I met several, as well as some nonbinary adults. The nonbinary folks were in their 20s-30s, the (openly) trans ones were at least in their 30s and probably older.

All kinds of pride flags waved from the shop windows, the upstairs balconies, embroidered onto favors passed around for free among cast members and across casts, pronouns carved onto bone pins and worn on vests and on bodices and on shirts.

I’ll admit the cast was predominantly white, and they outnumbered the people of color pretty severely, but there were people of color, all excited to be there and to participate and to have fun. One of my former cast members was by far the biggest ray of sunshine I’ve ever met, always eager to play fun games with kids and still willing to throw herself headfirst into whatever work we had to do. I can’t speak for her experiences, but I hope she felt just as welcome as the endless litany of white people on cast. Another cast member would bring in Korean dishes for us to share during feasts or just for snacking, and oh my god her cooking was phenomenal. She was one of the “dragons” of our cast that loved working on the cooking fires. I drew her as a Korean dragon, and she asked me to add western-style wings, which I happily did.

I knew my trans cast member before she came out as trans, and I swear to god if she hadn’t told me, I never would have guessed her former self had actually been her. A brother, maybe, but not her. I mention this because she got drafted, and holy hell she’s the biggest badass I’ve ever met. I played chess against her once. I lost in less than five turns. She flinched at gunshots, which was not great since there was a scheduled pistol firing every day near us, but I did my best to support her when they went off. Whether that was by reassurance or by continuing on like it didn’t happen depended on the day.

I was not actually the youngest on cast at the faire, which is saying something since I started when I was, what, 9, 10 years old? There were kids maybe 5 or 6 running around with their parents keeping a close eye on them. And there were people who’d been at the faire since it first opened in the 70′s.

I started at faire when I was, let’s round up and say 10, years old. My mom was on site but not on cast, but she never worried about me. Not because she didn’t care, but because everyone on entertainment cared too.

I don’t know anyone’s sexuality unless they had pride flags on them or talked about their partners. The entire cast, hundreds of people strong, saw me and the other kids and went “must protect.” At faire there were inappropriately dressed people, cleavage was certainly not conservative, and a lot of drinking by the guests. Never once has anyone, and I mean anyone, been inappropriate towards me without someone else stepping in immediately. I didn’t even notice they were doing this until my mom literally told me.

My renaissance faire was a community. A community from all over the country, with guests from well outside it, and it worked. It was warm, supportive, welcoming to everyone. If lodging was a problem, you could set up a tent on site for the weekend or stay with someone else on cast with a spare room or rent out a hotel with a bunch of other people all chipping in on the cost. Carpooling was (and still is) crazy common.

Everyone looks out for each other.

#there's been some political drama going on in some casts #but i'm kept out of it #i'm also much more than 10 years old now #i've been at the faire a while #inspired by redbudbutch's post about country gays #but now it's about a lot more #community #communities are important #i feel safe at faire #even though my group is gone for pandemic reasons #i found a new group #it's not quite mine yet #but i hope it will be #i love humans #when they aren't worried about money or greed #they're pretty good sometimes