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#and cross my fingers ill finish the rest eventually :')
icallhimjoey · 1 year
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hello bestie i love you and you have to understand how much i love you but i dont know how to express it in words so instead ill trust you with this request: reader's best friend trying to cock block reader and Joe but they just cannot stop touching each other blah your mum cumcum bread
blah your mum cumcum bread thanks for the request babe! Wordcount: 2.1K ---
Friends First
“We said we wouldn't,” you near-whispered, but did nothing to stop him from grazing his hand further up your inner thigh.
“We say shit all the time,” Joe spoke softly into your hair as your eyes scanned around to see if anyone noticed the two of you in your booth. Then you locked eyes with your best friend, and sat up, pushing Joe away from you slightly. Joe followed your gaze and cleared his throat loudly as he let go of your leg when he saw her stern eyes.
“You're not doing this, guys,” she shouted at you from where she was stood. "Alright, mum," Joe called back, making you laugh. Your friend wasn't joking, though.
It was Friday, and it was one of those rare nights where most of your friends had ventured out to the same pub after work, for dinner and drinks.
The older you'd gotten, the more often people would find they didn't have the time, or the energy, throwing different excuses for not being able to make it up into your group chat after someone asked to meet up. That wasn't the case tonight, though – at 3 in the afternoon, you'd sent "Who's meeting me for dinner and drinks tonight?" and a flood of thumbs up and beer emojis had followed. Even from Joe.  
You'd started at a small table, ended up having to move to a larger one as more people trickled in to join you, and then eventually had to break up your group for your meal when there were too many of you.
You ended up in a booth with just your best friend who was going through something at work, so it was nice to be slightly excluded from the rest as she used you as a sounding board. You'd been all ears, almost not even able to really get a word in, and you'd caught Joe's eye over her shoulder. He held up his hand and made it talk, signalling that he'd noticed her yapping away, and you'd grinned, but hadn't stopped her. With the amount of times you had been in her shoes, you felt it was only fair to let her get all her frustrations out after a long work week. 
When your plates had been cleared, your friend had gotten up to use the restroom. It gave you a second to scan the room and have a sip of your drink, which is when Joe caught your eyes again. He saw that you were sat by yourself and made his way over. You thought he would come and get you, to drag you back into your group. People had finished their meals, and the pub started gathering a standing crowd now too. Instead, Joe placed his drink down on the table and let himself fall into the booth next to you, bumping into you as he did and making you spill some of your drink on the table.
"Jesus, Joe,"  "Sorry, sorry," he immediately reached for a left-over napkin from the end of the table and wiped it across the surface. You then took it from him and dabbed the underside of your glass as well. 
"These are new," Joe'd eyed your fingers and took hold of your hand, taking the napkin from it with his other and inspecting your rings close to his face. Joe hadn't seen you in weeks, there was no way he could have known how new your rings were, but he was right, they were new. 
"This one's nice," Joe's fingers played with a dainty gold band, twisting it a little, head cocked slightly, and you leant into him to have a closer look yourself as well. 
"Thanks, my grandma got them for me," 
You were very aware of what Joe was doing, but you let him, because this wasn't technically crossing any of the boundaries you'd set, and his closeness felt nice. 
"For your birthday?" Joe asked, taking the ring in between his thumb and forefinger, and moving it up your finger a little. You curled your hand into a fist so Joe couldn't take it off completely, to which Joe immediately changed his grip into a very strong one, pretending to want to pry it off jokingly, making you giggle and push his hands off.
"Yes, for my birthday," you said, hands now back to yourself, and you took another sip of your drink.
"I've been meaning to get your gift to you, but you know–" Joe tilted his head down and looked up through his lashes with raised eyebrows. You did the same, foreheads almost touching, and you both said, "– work." at the same time, an inside joke from years ago that the both of you no longer thought was funny, but you couldn't help doing. 
"You're too busy," you said, and it made him smile. It was another way of saying that he hadn't been around enough. "Tell me what’s been going on," you nodded your head up at him, and Joe moved a knee up onto the bench as he turned to face you more. 
For a while you just talked. Friends catching up. Your best friend, upon returning from the bathroom, had reached for her drink from the table and had joined your other friends in conversation by the bar, but not before giving you a look over the table. One of which you knew exactly what she meant – “Do not do this to yourself!” – and you were glad Joe hadn't seen it. You knew he hadn’t, because his hand remained on your thigh, where it had found itself somewhere along his anecdotes. You hadn't reacted to its placement or its squeezes, until Joe started moving it upwards, your conversation still platonically casual above the table. 
“So, about this birthday gift,” Joe started, gazing down at your lap, acknowledging what was going on down there. 
And that was the moment your best friend had caught the two of you, sitting entirely too close to each other with hands in places they really shouldn’t have been.
You and Joe had never officially dated, ever, but you’d grown too comfortable around each other after an accidental – you honestly hadn’t meant to – one night stand when you were 22. Talking the next morning, embarrassed but both able to laugh at yourselves, you came to the realization that neither of you regretted it, thus turning your nightly escapades into a semi-regular thing. You’d promised each other one thing though: friends first, always. Your promise is what eventually lead you to stop sleeping together when you’d felt the first flutters of butterflies. You’d been honest about them with Joe, and Joe had just pressed a kiss into your knuckles before saying, “So, then we’ll stop it. Hey, can you help me move some things over to my parents’ tomorrow? I’ll get us burgers after,” like it’d been no big deal. 
What lingered, was a comfortability around each other that others, strangers, could easily mistake for more than platonic friendship. And they’d be right. Because about three months prior to this evening at the pub, you’d fallen into the same trap with each other, just like you had when you were 22, and had woken up next to each other in his bed, absolutely satisfied. “Uh oh,” were Joe’s first words when he squinted at you in his early morning haze, the both of you naked in between his sheets. “We’ve made a grave mistake,” you’d croaked back, looking at him from your side of the bed. “Friends first,” Joe had then said, holding out his pinky finger for you to hook yours through. You’d both grinned at each other, agreeing that, yet again, this had been a one-time slip up that wouldn’t happen again.  
Except you hadn’t really considered it an actual slip up, though. And neither had Joe.  
Your true slip up was immediately telling your best friend about it, who thought it was the stupidest thing you’d ever done. “This is going to end disastrous, trust me. Am I going to have to be the biggest cock block ever?” she’d threatened. “I’ll keep you at a distance from each other, no problem. Watch me.” Which had led her to keep an eye on the both of you that evening, and it was why she was the one who caught Joe trying to feel you up underneath the table of your booth.
Joe reached in his pocket and tossed a packet of cigarettes on to the table, taking a second to shove everything else he’d pulled out with that packet back into his pocket. “Care to join me?” he asked, and you’d just nodded. You didn’t smoke, but it was easy to claim you’d just go for a bit of fresh air after your meal. “Yea, you want another?” You grabbed your empty glasses before following Joe out the front feeling the eyes of your best friend burn in your back. You stopped by the bar to quickly get new drinks before stepping out. As you ordered, you leant over the bar to make sure the bartender could hear you, and when you’d stepped back, you felt Joe behind you. You saw Joe’s hands hold the varnished wood of the bar on either side of your body, encasing you against it. 
“Had I mentioned that I think you look really good tonight?” Joe spoke, his mouth close to your ear. 
It made you duck into your shoulders to suppress a giggle, and you shoved into him slightly. “Joe,” you hoped that it sounded like a warning. It didn’t, but Joe took it as one none the less. 
“As a friend,” he pointedly said, making you turn your head over your shoulder to look at him.  
“Friends first, of course,” he said, and you could see his head bob, ready to release the chuckles he tried very hard to hold back. “Idiot.” you grinned, turning back, taking both your drinks from the bar before you made your way outside.
Stood outside amongst a couple more people smoking and chatting, cold drinks in hand, you could see your friend inside giving you warning eyes through the window. You shot back a defensive look, eyes almost hurt that she seemed to be accusing you – you hadn’t done anything! Then you pointed at Joe, gave your own best accusing eyes, entirely blaming him for what she’d just witnessed. It made her roll her eyes at you – she knew there were two people at play here. One of your other friends inside followed your best friend’s gaze, saw you outside and waved with a huge smile, entirely oblivious to the silent conversation the two of you had been having through the glass. Just to piss off your best friend, you smiled and waved back at him, ignoring her face all together.
Joe, who had been watching your animated face looking past him as he stood with his back towards the window, huffed a laugh before taking a drag of his cigarette. 
“Who are you talking to?” 
“Who the fuck do you think?” 
Joe grinned and looked over his shoulder. Your best friend instantly flipped him off, and it made him cough out a laugh before returning the favour to her. 
You fell into conversation about your birthday party. The one he’d missed, because he’d been off filming on location somewhere for his job. Joe apologised again for not having been able to make it, like he’d already done a dozen times. You purposefully made it sound like you hadn’t missed him there, which was a blatant lie – that night your best friend had to confiscate your phone for fear that you’d text or call Joe with messages you’d regret later. But you didn’t want him to feel bad for missing it because it had made you feel sad. Instead, you made him feel bad for missing out himself, because the party had been so fun. It hadn’t been karaoke night, but just for the occasion, and because none of you could stop asking for it, the pub had turned on the system for you and all of you had been spraying drunken lyrics into the same two microphones all night. 
“I’ll have to make it up to you,” Joe saw right through you, though. He knew you hated that he hadn't been there.
“Oh yea?” you cooed. “How?”  
Joe looked at his drink, took a couple big gulps to finish it and then turned around to knock at the window. It made a bunch of people inside turn and look at him. Your best friend one of them. 
Joe nodded his head up, as if he challenged her to a fight, then looked down and reached for your hand. He held it up by your wrist so your best friend inside was able to see that he laced his fingers with yours. Then he gave her a fat smile, waved, said, “Let’s go,” and started walking, pulling you along with him. 
-----
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eddieshellfxre · 2 years
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Change your ways
Part 2
Eddie Munson x fem!reader
Word Count: 3.8k
Summary: You and Eddie have been best friends for a long time, so long you eventually caught feelings for him after having a one night stand with him. Everything changes when Eddie gets a girlfriend but you still try your luck
Content: 18+ minor dni, oral sex f and m, swearing, smoking, slut calling, cheating
a/n: this has a lot of dialogue because i have time to think a lot at work and i just create dialogues in my head all day to write later. also just because i wrote this it doesnt mean i agree with cheating, just thought it was a fun idea to write about
reblog and like if you enjoy it ♡
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•••
“no because it truly was the worst sex of my life” pretty pissed off about how your date went, you stormed off to Eddie’s trailer to tell him all about it
“was it really that bad?” he jokes placing the blunt between his lips and inhaling the substance
“guy came in like 2 seconds” you roll your eyes and take the blunt in yours
“did he make you come after?” he asks in all seriousness
“yeah sure he did! after rubbing my left side for 10 minutes… what do you think? god he has big hands like you, i thought he be good at fingering at least”
Eddie looks at you with a smile on his face, letting out a laugh hearing you talk like this before quickly looking down “i do have great fingers” he says admiring his hands…. you look at Eddie’s hands and smile
“yeahhhh…. about that…” you say crawiling your way to him on the bed
“no”
“but you didnt even let me finish”
“its a no” you sit back on your legs and stare at him with big puppy eyes
“oh cmon youre really gonna say we werent the best sex we ever had in our lives?” Eddie remains quiet and smiles inhaling the blunt laying down on his bed with his arm resting behind his head, making his shirt slightly rise, you look at the tiny bit of skin showing and bite your lip “ill take your silence as an answer…. but seriously dont you wanna—“ you continue before he cuts you off
“listen, what we did was a one time thing and besides i have a girlfriend ”
“so?” you ask, you didnt wanna show how jealous it made you feel so you showed some kind of coldness when he touched the subject
“so? i have a girlfriend, im not supposed to cheat”
“SUPPOSED!! oh cmon munson, dont play hard to get” you rest your hand on his chest but he quickly moves it away
“im dating Chrissy now. i wont cheat on her” he looks at you with a serious tone on his voice. it kills you you’re not the one with him, he’s been your best friend for years, your safe space but you couldnt help but think of him in that way, and he knew about it, you’ve never hidden that part of your relation but for some reason he seemed scared of crossing that more serious line even though you did have a one time off, which he keeps on blaming the booze and drugs for.
“you forget i know you like the back of my hand! ive fucked you once ill fuck you again Edward” you scold before standing up grabbing your things. he lays still on his bed eyeing you as you walk closer to the door “c’mon, lets go help your uncle with dinner”
****
Under the bleachers at the championship game
“fuck y/n youre killing me” he groans as you take all of him in your mouth
“shhhh you gotta be quiet” you lick a stripe along the side of his dick, brushing your thumb over the slit, knowing it will drive him insane “look at dear ol’chrissy over there, head chearleader while her boyfriend is getting head from his best friend” you laugh taking the tip in your mouth, sucking on it slighty as you continue to pump his cock with your hand
“stop talking for fuck sake! shit— im gonna come”
“c’mon Eddie, dont tell me you dont think about my mouth around your cock everyday” you take him in your mouth and suddenly feel a warm fluid coat the inside of your mouth “hmmmm” you moan agaisnt him “so good baby”
“shit” he breaths out as he lets go of the grip he has on your hair, you smile up at him winking as you have one final lick at his tip making him buck at the sensitivity “just—just shut up” he says when he sees you standing up laughing
The game ends and you take the opportunity to leave underneath the bleachers when everyone is getting up. You spot Chrissy in the distance with her cheer friends jumping around with their stupid little pom poms. You dont get it, you dont get what does she have that you dont. Maybe it was the fact that she was a goody two shoes, miss perfect grades or maybe it was the fact that she wasnt as crazy as him…. As you were, maybe that what he wants, normal… You wake up from your trance as you hear a soft pitched voice talking
“babyyyyy did you see me? was i good?” she greets throwing her arms around Eddie’s neck leaning in to kiss him. You cant help but roll your eyes at them and stare at Eddie with a smirk slapped across your face
“you were so good” he says looking at her and at you over Chrissy’s shoulder right after, never breaking your eye contact you clean of the corners of your mouth with your finger and send him a wink
“i couldnt figure out where you were in the crowd” she says with big dull puppy eyes
“i was somewhere around the middle, dont worry i saw you” You cant help but find all of this amusing and decide to wage in the conversation
“he saw you just fine chrissy dear, you should have seen how happy he was, i could swear is bursted out into joy” you throw your arms around in the air in a extremly dramatic way. Chrissy didnt trust you, at all but you didnt seem to really care because deep down you knew you couldnt be trusted anyway
“ohh good” she says with a fake tone towards you, quickly turning back to Eddie’s hugging him tight “im really happy you came”
“of course i would come its important to you” he says cupping her face with his hands
“and for you too Eddie, right?” you pop in again “so important for you to come?” you smile wide remembering what happened just moments ago. Eddie regains his posture and grabs Chrissy’s arm
“lets go chrissy” he says pulling her by the arm. He knew exactly what you were talking about, and he knew if you stayed there any longer you would open up your big ass mouth and let out everything one way or another.
“Munson” you call after him “ill see you later at dinner yeah?”
“dinner?” chrissy asked confused as to why are you having dinner with him later
“yeah, y/n eats dinner everynight at mines. Her parents arent in the country and shes been having dinner there” he explains showing a soft smile as he looks at you, you smile back sort of thanking him for taking such good care of you, “you can come too if you want” he continues, your smile breaks and turns into a total resting bitch face, you can see a little sparkle appear on her eyes as she hears him
“oh my god yes, id love to”
Arriving at Eddie’s trailer later you park your car next to Eddie’s van, walking up the trailer stairs you open the door greeting Wayne
“honey im home” you say cheerful walking inside and seeing him
“hello dear how are you?” he takes you in a tight hug “where’s eddie?”
“he should be just— there he is” you sounded quite annoyed but try not to show much of it
“sup, hey wayne this is chrissy…. my girlfriend” Eddie says wrapping his arm around her “shes gonna have dinner with us alright?”
Wayne looks at you with a confused look before turning his attention back to his nephew “girlfriend you say? Im Wayne, ermmm well welcome, make your self comfortable” he gestures to the couch. As Chrissy sits down you sit down next to her before you could even get a word in Eddie sits between of both of you.
You stand up annoyed and walk over to the kitchen to find Wayne over the stove
“need any help with anything?”
“no no you sit down dear”
“no way, let me put the table at least. Eddie boy come help me” you say grabbing the plates from the sink and placing them on the counter, you try to reach out for the cups in the cupboard but cant reach it, Eddie hovers over you to grab them, you feel his crotch against your ass, your head drops as you feel him and let out a small moan
“if you gonna tease me might as well do something about it baby” you whisper as you ever so slighty push your ass back onto his front
“shut up, i didnt do it on purpose” he pushes himself away from you as makes his way to the table setting the cups down.
You all sit at the table in dead silence, so you decide to heat things up a little, Eddie is in front of you and your foot makes its way over to him, going up his leg until it reaches his cock. He shifts in his seat and starts coughing, you smile down at your plate as his cheeks turn red
“you alright son?” wayne asks placing his hand of his shoulder
“yeah yeah just, just got choked up on some spaghetti” he stares at you while you laugh quietly.
Everyone finishes up what their eating and you notice the time, notice its almost time for wayne to leave for work
“right” you stand up “ill do the dishes too, last night it was eddie and you the night before so ill take care of them, and no buts! you need to go to work soon”
Wayne winks at you with a soft smile, laying down for a while on the couch. You grab the plates and start to do the dishes, you open the tap and water hits the plates making it go everywhere, you almost fall back from getting startled
“shit that scared the crap of me” you look down at your now soaking wet white top. Eddie cant help but stare at you, clearly fixating on how tight that top is now to your tits untilchrissy wakes him up from his trance
“eddie will you drive me home?”
“sure babe. y/n do you need a ride too?” he asks trying to look away
“no i got my own car eddie…. ohhhh shit shit shit” you panic “i forgot my house keys at school and now its closed”
“oh thats a shame. you can stay over if you want” wayne says with a croaky voice
“thanks wayne, youre more than a dad to me”
Eddie grabs his keys calling at you “hey, you can take my bed, ill sleep on the floor, prepare everthing while i take her home”
“thanks eddie” you smile, continuing to wash the dishes
“shes sleeping here with you?” chrissy whispers in hopes you wouldnt hear her but you did
Eddie leans in on her whispering back “shes done it multiple times dont worry about ok?”
Once Eddie came back and Wayne left for work you both walk up to his room getting ready for bed
“Eddie im taking a shirt” you say selecting from his collection of band tees
“borrowing” he talks back pointing a finger at you
“ugh fine!” you say as you take your shirt off without warning
“oh my god y/n please” eddie covers eyes
“what the f-? its nothing you havent seen before already jeez” you roll your eyes and pass the shirt over your head throwing your previous worn top at him. Eddie stares at you for a while before walking out of the room. You hear the bathroom door close and immediately understand whats going on
“babe if its a boner you got by looking at me i can take care of it” you tease him a little more
“no its fine, ill do it” you hear him say back,
you laugh and sit on the bed waiting for bim to come back to the room. Once he comes back to smirk up at him “please shut up”
You talk for a while and smoke a nightly blunt for a better night sleep, during that you try to convice him not to sleep on the floor because its uncomfortable
“i promise i wont do anything alright? just dont sleep on the fucking floor”
“fine” he says getting up from the floor “but no funny business, i know you”
“i promise i wont do anything to you! on our friendship” you hold up three fingers and crossing your heart. He lays down on the bed and scooches his way to the wall, you remove your jeans and lay down next to eddie
“what the fuck are you doing?” he asks surprised turning his body your way
“going to sleep? what the fuck Munson?”
“like that? no pants no nothing?” he motions to your legs
“its hot out!!” you whine “why? cant you handle being next to me without jeans on?” you tease. He remains quiet shuffling in his spot turning your back to you
“goodnight eddie” you sing at him in a playfull tone.
minutes go by and eddie cant keep still
“hmmm stay still Eddie, i wanna sleep” you whine as you try to sleep
“fuck this” he says turning you over and is suddenly on top of you “you drive me absolutely insane” he tries to kiss you but you stop him
“dude what is going on right now? i didnt do shit! i promised” you throw your hand up, genuinely suprised
“you promised but i didnt” he leans in and kisses you passionately, even though his action caught you by surprise it didnt take long for you go give in to him and kiss him back. He slowly moves down to your neck covering it with kisses, being careful enough not to leave any marks
“Eddieeee” you moan. You feel his breathing break up when he hears you say his name, he shakes his head and makes a trail of kisses going down your body to where you want him the most, its ridiculous how wet he can get you in seconds
“just thanking you for earlier” he says against your skin as he keeps going down your body. His hands meet the waistband of your underwear and pulls them off, throwing it to the other side of the room, he gently sucks on the inner part of your thigh, knowing well he could leave as many marks there because it wouldnt be visible “youre so fucking wet” Eddie whines as his fingers slip up and down your wet slit, drawing your juices over your clit and rubbing circles on it. “youre such a slut for me arent you” you moan in pleasure as he gently rubs your bud “words” he says with a much more serious tone, eyes darkened with desire and a primal need to feel hear you under his touch.
“fu—yes Eddie! im—im such a slut for you baby” you mewl seductively,
making him growl in response. You can feel the warmth of his mouth close to you as you feel him licking you from your entrance to your clit, playing with it in circles once he meets it
“god i love it here” he says against your cunt, the vibrations of him talking making you moan, you feel his fingers tease you for a moment before he lines one up and pushes it into your tight heat, making you arch your back in pleasure.
“fuuuu— Eddie fuckfuck fuck” you whine as he pumps his fingers in and out of you keeping his tongue focused on your clit “youre gonna make me cum so hard” he picks up his pace with his fingers, curling them inside you, just hitting that right spot in you, your hand grabs onto his curls pulling at them while at the same time fixing him in place
“c’mon baby, i wanna feel your pretty pussy cum all over my fingers” he says against your cunt
“Eddie i—“ you’re unable to finish your sentence as you clench around his fingers and feel your orgasm slowly leak out of you, he takes his tongue to your entrance cleaning you up, making you jump everytime he hits your thobbing bud
“you taste so fucking good” he says still between your thighs leaving a trail wet kisses as he makes his way back to your face, kissing your lips. You brush the hair sticking to his forehead cupping his face in your hands, he smiles down at you, stupid smile that makes you melt like butter “we can go to sleep now” he says kissing your forehead. You laugh, covering your face with your hands
“you’re unbelievable Munson” you say shaking your head.
~~~~
Arriving at achool with eddie was something else, the morning after was…. quiet. Eddie didnt want to admit he couldnt resist you and felt terribly guilty for cheating on Chrissy…. again.
“Eddieeee” chrissy runs into arms and kisses him, watching how Eddie is kissing her back you cant help but let out a laugh
“whats wrong?” he asks breaking up for the kiss
“oh nothing i just thought of something i saw last night….on tv” you reply looking over at Eddie. She smiles at you and walks in front of you and him
“you kiss her with my taste in your mouth?” you whisper
“please shut up! im not proud of myself” he whispers back
“oh but you should be” you say coming close to him “it was amazing” you continue.
Eddie shakes his head and walks past you walking in front with Chrissy
~~~
At the end of the day, arriving at eddie’s trailer each in your own car, you park yours next to his van your, when you step out and eddie turns off his van the van does a weird sound and you look at each other confused. Eddie tries to turn the van back on but it wont start
“you have got to be kidding me” he says hitting the steering wheel “c’mon baby dont do this to me!” eddie keeps turning the key but the van is completely dead “im gonna need to take her to the mechanic, but i can only do it Friday”
“thats alright Eds, drive me back to my house later and bring my car back to yours. pick me up tomorrow morning for school” Eddie stares at you in shock, trying hard not to freak out
“you serious? i can keep your car?” hes practically jumping
“sure, it no big deal, its just a car”
“just a ca—?! ITS A DODGE CHALLENGER hOLY shit!!!!” he screams. hes truly adorable when hes fanboying “sweet, thanks ba-“ he stops himself “y/n, thanks youre the best” he continues slowly walking away in direction of his trailer
“if you were gonna call me some type of petname, go for it dont go shy” you say playfully
“im not shy, i just dont think its correct” he says turning on his heel, his tone shifted and its not so happy
“what?! calling me baby or babe?”
“no… yes… everything. this isnt cool on Chrissy and i hate myself for it.” hes cheeks look flushed and he looks more stressed than ever but you’re really starting to get tired of some of his atitudes
“then break up with her” you say loud throwing your hands up letting them hit your thighs on the way down
“i cant i really like her”
“sweetie if you really liked her we wouldnt do all the things we’ve been doing” you walk up to him “just remember you were always the one who didnt want to make anything official” he shakes his head in denial, he feels like its impossible to even start an argument with you, you always have to have the last word
“you gotta change your crazy ways, you hear me?” he says trying to break the tension by mentioning your favorite Aerosmith song, he tried to say it with a straight face but he knew its was a hard line to cross
“dont you dareeeeee quote Aerosmith to me Munson!” you point a finger at him, poking his chest “lets just go alright? before wayne comes out here and asks what the hell is going on” you follow him inside and greet wayne like you do everyday
“everything alright with you kids?” he asks looking at both of you
“fine” you both say at the same time
~~~
Next day eddie picks you up, its hot and youre wearing fishnets and black skirt, layerd with one of his band tees that you’ve cropped, you open the door and sit down
“morning Munson” you greet
“thats mine, whats the fuck did you do to it?” he asks grabbing onto the hem of the shirt. You smack his hand away from you furrowing your brows at him
“was!! and i made it fit me better. Even tho i do like using your baggy tees i think this fits my body better dont you?” you say looking over the door mirror to apply your lipstick while Eddie just stares at you in dead silence. You throw your feet on the dashboard and put your sunglasses on as you look back in the mirror and blow yourself a kiss
“youre so self centered” he lets out
“no, i just know i look hot today, dont you”
eddie looks at your legs and back at the road smiling
“fuck—- yeah you look ermmm yeah” he mumbles as he tightens his grip on the steering wheel
“what was that? you think i look hot?” you touch his thigh
“please dont do that! “
“got you nervous there munson?”
“why do you tease me like this? im gonna go mental one of these days” he looks at you. you look over your sunglasses licking your lower lip
“you really wanna do this before we pick your girlfriend up?!” you ask, you love to see what you do to him
Eddie continues to drive to chrissy’s house, moments later pulling up to her drive way. As she comes out she walks over to your side and stands at the door waiting for you to open it.
“dont tell me your girl wants me to go in the back” you say ironically rolling down the window “yes?” you ask sarcastically
“im going in the back?” he asks pointing at the back of the car
“babe its my car, you dont really think i would be riding in the back did you?”
she rolls her eyes at you walks in the back and leaning forward to give eddie a kiss. You side eye everything and cant help but feel jealous at these little exchanges.
“how did you sleep sweetheart?” you cringe at the word, you have never heard eddie say it before, exept when hes talking to his guitar.
“i slept just fine…. how come we’re taking y/n car?” she asks
“eddie’s van broke down. so i offered he could use my car until needed which he was very very happy to take me up on that offer” you joke lightly tapping his shoulder
“bet your sweet ass i was! this car is a fucking monster are you kidding me? hottest ride in hawkins”
“sometimes i think he likes my car more than he likes me” you smile
“that could never happen” he eyes you, taking his bottom lip between his teeth. catching what he was doing he quickly continues “youre a pain but youre my besy friend”
“nice save” you whisper as you pull up to school.
Eddie gets out of the car and admires it breathing in a whistle “damn baby, youre hot” you knew he was talking to your car bur you just had to say something
“thanks babe, but you should really leave that kind of conversation for when we’re alone” you laugh walking away leaving him quiet.
During your break, you stood alone at your locker when suddenly you feel someone approaching you, thinking it would be Eddie ditching the company of his new love affair you slam your locker door only to find Billt Hargrove standing next to you leaning over the lockers with his arm
“Hey y/n” he says eyeing you, you knew this kind of look and you didnt really have anything to lose so you just went with it
“Hey Billy” you reply. He leans in closer to your ear, his warm breath on near your neck teasing the shit out of you “what do you want” you notice Eddie at the end of the corridor watching you and Billy talk
“i was wondering if maybe you’d be up dinner sometime or a movie or anything else that you have in mind” he smiles gently caressing your cheek, you clearly know how its gonna go but you’re both single, and god knows you need a Eddie and Chrissy getaway
“sure, anytime” you reply with a smile. Soon enough Eddie approaches both of you and stands behind Billy, he notices him and scoofs
“ill see you around darlin’”
“yeah, see you around Billy” you wink smiling while bitting your lip, Billy replies with a grin before looking over at Eddie and clearly seeing his bothered
“Munson” he greets
“Hargrove” Eddie greets back, the tension could be cut with a knife. As Billy walks away Eddie turns his attention to you “Hargrove? really y/n” Eddie whispers in disgust. you furrow your brow at him
“Cunnigham? really Eddie?” you ask in the same tone
“What did he want? Why were you all giggly and smiley for?”
“excuse me, but since when do i owe you any explanation?” you say in a hush tone ”but if you must know, he asked me out…. and i said yes! youre not the only one who can date around” you feel a not tying up in your throat, he remains silent as he sees tears forming in your eyes
“y/n im—
“im gonna go alright? just—“
“y/n…. Y/N” Eddie calls but you dont look back.
You make your way to the woods behind Hawkinds High, a place where you and Eddie normally hangout to smoke or chill because no one ever goes there. You find a table at sit on top of it, feet resting on the bench. You cover your face with your hands, trying your best not to cry.
“y/n?” you get stardled as you hear a familiar voice coming from the trees “hey its just me… Robin” you sigh of relief knowing it wasnt Eddie who followed you
“hey Robin” a faint smile on your lips that quickly disappears “what are you doing here?”
“i dont really know” she jokes shrugging her shoulders “what about you? you dont look so good” she takes a seat next to you wrapping her arm around you “you can talk to me if you want” you look at her and see some type of comfort, and you take it, because sooner or later you feel like you were gonna burst.
Moments go by and you tell Robin all thats been going on, and what happened between you and Eddie before Chrissy
“y/n you need to stop before you, Eddie and Chrissy get hurt”
“Robin please i—”
“dont please me, what you guys are doing is wrong! He has a girlfriend”
“He doesnt love her”
“He doesnt love you either” her words feel like knifes stabbing you everywhere possible
“how do you know? youre not there when we’re alone” you try to fool yourself into thinking that youre right and shes wrong
“y/n listen to me, he has to choose one of you and it really doesnt look like youre gonna be the choice” she comforts you with a hug before standing up “i gotta go, Steve is waiting for me already but… think about what youre doing! youre only gonna get hurt. Call me if you need anything” she gives you a reasuring hug that you return with a smile.
You decide that you need some time alone, maybe watch a movie but first you need to find Eddie to tell him you need your car for the night.
You make your way into school again, searching the halls for him but no luck.
“Dustin” you call out to the curly headed kid “have you seen Eddie?” you ask before he could ever say hi
“erm…. i think hes in the parking lot not su—byee” poor kid didnt even get to finish and you were already messing his hair up thanking him. You walk over to the parking lot and Eddie is standing next to your car.
Youre nervous, you havent talked about anything yet since that fiasco in the hall, but you gain the courage to walk up to him and treat him like nothing has happened
“Hey Eds, erm… you got hellfire tonight right?” you ask looking at his hellfire shirt, it should be incriminating how good a baseball tee looks on him
“yeah i do why? are you gonna come?” the tiniest bit of excitement in his voice makes an appearance, you smile and shake your head
“im gonna need my car for tonight, need some alone time, so ill drop you off at hellfire and then ill come pick you up” you explain grabbing the car keys from his hand. he looks down at you laughing “whats so funny?”
“normally i pick up the babes not the other way around” he steps closer and you feel like your heart skipped a thousand beats, you remain calm on the outside and try to stay your normal self
“oh why thank you eds” you smile
“for?”
“thinking im a babe” Eddie comes closer to you still holding onto your car keys and your hand still grabbing onto them
“shut up, you know what i mean” he says in a low tone
“baby i always know what you mean” and right there and then you forget everything Robin has told you. They way he grabs onto your waist with his free hand pulling you closer to him, his eyes moving from yours to your lips
“why do you drive me crazy?” he laughs trying to break the tension but there too much of it, there was no way he didnt feel what you felt too. His hold onto your waist keeps getting tighter, his rings biting onto your skin
“i—i dont know Eds, just dont get me all hot and bothered and then dont do anything about it” you laugh.
You could practically feel each other’s breaths as he pulled you closer and closer until you break away when you ear noise from the background. You both look at each other, You've never seen this look in Eddies eyes before, pure hunger and lust, it was fucking hot! You grab your keys from him and open the door to sit down on the driver’s seat, you roll down the window so you could speak to him “ill pick you up later ok?” you say smiling
Eddie leans in, holding your chin with his index and thumb, pulling your face into a soft kiss, something so soft yet so hot. Eddie smiles against your lips when he feels how your breathing shifted
“ill be waiting” he says leaving you absolutely speechless
~~~
Back at home, you decided it was best just to stay in until it was time to pick Eddie up. You made yourself some popcorn and got cozy in bed with a oversized tee that Eddie gave you and your underwear, watching a horror movie that was playing on tv. You werent paying much attention because all you could think about is Eddie’s kiss, it felt different, so genuine. You shake your head at the thought of it everytime
“this is supposed to be a Eddie free night y/n! get a grip!!” you turn your attention to the tv again and suddently the phone rings, startling you “jesus fucking chr— yes?”
“hey its Eddie, look dont come pick me up alright?”
“why is everything ok?” you start to get worried, he never calls you from the school phone
“yeah yeah its all good, i-i just need to walk Chrissy home from cheer practice”
you remove the headseat away from your face and start flipping it off “y/n? you there?”
“yes i am here!!! cant she walk herself?” he notices the tone in your voice changing and laughs
“no she cant but ill see you late ok baby? bye”
“Eddie? Eddie? motherfuck— baby?” you reply now at the sound of end of the call. “i didnt—im hearing things” you place the phone back and get back to watching your movie.
Hours go by and youre getting sleepy, its time for bed, youre tired and you kinda want this day to be over. Just as soon as youre falling asleep you hear noise outside, you dont know if its the horror movie getting in your head or not but you quietly grab onto the baseball bat that you have under your bed, a knock at your window makes you jump off the bed, ready to swing your bat you turn around to see a tall figure waving at you from the outside
“Munson?” you ask squinting “what the fuck are you doing here?” you ask dropping the bat on the floor, you open the window and Eddie climbs in your room “you do realise im home alone. you could have just rang the door bell”
Eddie smiles looking at you in your sleep wear
“yeah but if i did i probably wouldnt find you like this” winking he grabs onto your waist pulling you close to him. You push your arm away from you placing it on his chest
“woahhhh what we doing? youre kinda giving me mixed signals here Eddie” you try to get away from him but he keeps holding onto you tight “didnt you just drop your girlfriend home? didnt you just have a nice walk with her?” you mock. He finds it absolutely adorable how jealous you can get and also very attractive, bitting his lip in a half smile he moves your arm from his chest so its holding onto his neck
“no, i walked chrissy home its different”
you side eye him confused out of your mind, he must have been smoking something really strong this time “and before you ask, no its not the same thing. shes not my girlfriend anymore, i broke up with her” the confused look on your face turns into shock, with a little bit of happiness that you try to hide but he catches onto you “you can smile i know you want to”
You give in and smile up at swing your free arm around his neck too, holding him closer you stretch a bit to meet your lips with his, this kiss felt like the one before “I couldnt stand the thought of you going out with that dickhead Hargrove, made me crazy! It was like something clicked in me telling me it was you all along” he says against your lips “youre a crazy bitch but you’re only mine”
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trektraveler · 2 years
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Breathe Free Part Two
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Summary: You were perfectly capable of taking care of yourself, thank you very much! Dean knew that, he also knew better. He'd seen you sick plenty of times in the past five years, but this was different. This was much more than a cold, but you were so stubborn about doctors! Dean Winchester isn't about to let you slip away, even if it means going against your wishes. He only hopes he's not too late!
Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader, Dean x Reader, Dean x You
Characters: Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, Reader
Warnings: Hurt/Comfort, Sickfic, Sick!Reader, Hospitals, Kissing, fluff
Word Count: 5873
One Shot - Two Parts
Author’s Notes: I have been sick with Covid for a month. Well... down sick for 2 1/2 weeks and recovering my stamina for 2 more. Its been a real bitch. Plus my disabled mother has it now. This is following a nervous breakdown I had in June. Writing has been my passion and my mental health balm, but I've not been able to produce anything in months. So this... this is a fucking triumph!! I'm still working on all my other WIP, so please stick around. I'll get there... eventually :) I'm hoping to finish part two shortly and post in a week... ish.
Thank you all for the continued support! Additional Notes: Still hanging in there, long covid is a bitch, but it does improve. More or less. I am SO happy with myself that I've finished a story! Even a little self-indulgent two parter. As always, thank you all! Your kind words and encouragement have really helped me. Love you guys :)
Masterlist (Part One)
     Hospitals were noisy places.  Filled with squeaking wheels, scuffling shoes, and code calls.  The ICU was worse with its beeping monitors and hissing ventilators.  The constant stream of nurses and doctors talking in hushed concern about things like hypoxia and bradypnea and other terrifying medical babble.
     This wasn’t the first time Dean sat beside someone he cared about while they lingered between life and death.   He was a hunter; it came with the gig.  Broken bones and bullet holes.  The waiting and the worrying were pure hell, and he would know.  It was the reason he was so quick to put himself in the line of fire.  Not just to save a life, but to spare himself the agony of the wait.  Minutes that ticked by endlessly, ratcheting up the uncertainty.  Underscoring just how powerless he was.
     Never did it cross his mind that illness would snatch you away from him.  That you would simply get sick, like a normal person.  Pneumonia could be dangerous for anyone, but for someone with asthma, it could be deadly.
     You were sedated for three days while the ventilator breathed for you and gave your body a chance to rest and heal.  The doctors assured him that it was standard procedure, but damn was it intense.  Dean had never seen you look so fragile.  So pale.  You looked as if you could slip away at any moment, the only thing keeping you tethered to the Earthly realm were the wires and tubes attached to your body.   
     Dean took your hand.  He wondered about your soul.  Were you here with him?  Watching from somewhere nearby?  Or were you negotiating with a reaper?  Would you bargain for more time, or would you choose heaven?  A soul like yours was guaranteed a ticket to the penthouse. 
     It was in times like this that he cursed his profession.  What good was a lifetime’s worth of supernatural knowledge if he couldn’t use it to save you?  God knows he tried.  He tried every trick in the book, in the end it was Sam who talked sense into him.
     “She doesn’t need you to sell your soul Dean!  She just needs you.  Be there, hold her hand, tell her it’s going to be okay.  Let her know she isn’t alone.”
     Sammy was right, as he usually was.  The nurses said you’d shown enough improvement that they were taking you off the ventilator today.  As much as Dean wanted to believe it, he was cautious in his optimism. 
     He was so wrapped up in his own worry that he didn’t notice your fingers shifting against his palm.  Your eyelids fluttered, then went still.  It was so slight, that Dean thought he’d imagined it. 
     He desperately searched your face and held his breath.  God please…
     “Y/N?”
     A few seconds later you did it again, this time you gave his hand a proper squeeze and Dean felt like his heart was going to burst. 
     He squeezed back, his other hand coming up to brush your cheek, “Y/N… baby, can you hear me?”
     After several tries, you finally managed to open your eyes fully.  Exhausted, you looked around the room.  When your gaze landed on Dean, he smiled.  You tried to say his name and when you couldn’t, you panicked!  Choking on the tube shoved down your throat, your eyes went wide.
     “Hey!  It’s okay!  You’re in the hospital, Sweetheart.  Just stay calm.  We’ll get that tube out, let me go get the nurse.”
     He stood and your grip became desperate.  And strong.  Incredibly strong.  Tears trickled from the corners of your eyes as you tried to convey your thoughts.  You were wide awake, and you needed him.  Relief washed over him; no reapers would come knocking today. 
     “Okay, okay.  Shh…” he sat beside you and pressed a kiss to your forehead while his free hand hit the call button.  “I’ve got you; I’ve got you.  I’m not going anywhere.”
     Sam was walking down the corridor towards the ICU rooms with two large coffees balanced in one hand.  You were only allowed one visitor at a time, so he and Dean took turns.  Although, Dean always came back early.  And he begged the nurses to let him stay past visiting hours.  Sam got the impression they felt sorry for him, but knowing Dean, he would have found a way around the rules one way or another.
     When Sam saw his brother in the hallway, he quickened his pace.  He was leaning against the wall, bent at the waist with his hands braced on his knees. 
     “Dean?  What happened?  What’s going on?”
     Dean raised his head, sniffling back emotion, “She’s awake.  They’re... ah… they’re taking out that tube.”
     Sam caught the glossy sheen in Dean’s eyes.  He clapped a hand on his shoulder, “That’s fantastic.  Dean, that’s great.”
     Dean nodded and pulled Sam into a brief, tight hug then released him and took a coffee. 
     “Good thing you talked me out of selling my soul, huh?’
     You weren’t really sleeping when Sam and Dean walked into your new room in the regular section of the hospital.  But every muscle in your body was so taxed that even keeping your eyes open was an effort.  There was an oxygen mask covering your nose and mouth, but it was far more comfortable than that damn ventilator tube.  You were cold too, but that was part of being in a hospital.  It was all so familiar and disheartening.
     The squeak of the door prompted you to open your heavy eyes and you smiled.  The Winchesters were there, a welcome contrast of denim and flannel against the sterile hospital décor.  They had arms filled with gifts; balloons, books, a bag of watermelon Jolly Ranchers, and the biggest arrangement of flowers you’d ever seen.  Dozens of roses, hydrangeas, and snapdragons.  
     “Flowers.”
     Your voice was a raspy whisper behind the mask, but it still made Dean beam brightly. 
     “Hell yeah, Sammy and I bought out every white flower they had.”  He set the massive vase down on the table.  “They’re your favorite, right?”
     You nodded, tracing a finger over the edge of one perfect bloom.  You had a late-night debate with him eons ago about how white couldn’t be your favorite color because it wasn’t really a color.  It’s a shade.  Technically, it was a sum of all possible colors.  Hence, the debate.
     Sam pulled out a stuffed a huge, stuffed moose from behind his back.  It was impossibly soft with floppy antlers and was wearing one of his flannel shirts tied in place with a white velvet bow.
     You laughed, “Aww!  A… Win..chester of… my own.”
     Sam’s throat got tight as the halting cadence of your words.  Even with the oxygen, you were out of breath.  He leaned down and hugged you.  Normally, he would squeeze you tight and lift you off your feet just to make you giggle like a kid sister.  Today, he was careful.  Mindful of the electrodes and wires and of how fragile you felt in his arms. 
     “You’ve already got two Winchesters,” he said, kissing the top of your head.  “Add him to your collection.”
     Your eyes were drooping, even after just a few minutes your energy was completely depleted.  You let your head fall back against the pillow with a tired smile, “Thank you… Sammy.”
     “We should get out of here, let you sleep,” he replied, catching his brother’s attention.
     “Yeah,” Dean gave a reluctant nod.  “If you’re lucky, we’ll smuggle in one of those triple thick strawberry-kiwi shakes you like.”
     You grabbed hold of his hand again and tugged.  It was so much effort to talk, you hope he got the message. 
     A wordless look passed between the brothers and Sam took his cue, leaving the two of you alone.  You tried to focus on your breathing and on the warmth of Dean’s hand holding yours.  It took every bit of strength you had to stay awake, but it was so important.  You couldn’t let him leave, not yet.
     Dean wiped away the single tear that slid down your cheek.  “Hey, hey.  What’s wrong, Sweetheart?”
     “I… I’m… s… sorry.”
     He soothed back your hair, “Sorry for what?”
     “Should have… gone… to… th… the doctor.”
     “No, hey, don’t worry about any of that.”
     “Scared… you.”
     Dean cupped your face with his large palm, “Listen to me.  I don’t want you to think about any of that stuff, okay?  It doesn't matter.  The only thing that matters is you getting better.  That’s all I care about.”
     You nodded; your eyes shuttered to half-mast.  “Tired.”
     He let out a chuckle and ran a hand over his five o’clock shadow, “I’ll bet you are.”
     You shook your head and pointed at him.  When he tilted his head in confusion, you patted the mattress beside you.
     He was exhausted.  It was etched in every line on his beautiful face.  His green eyes, the ones you had loved since you first looked into them were bloodshot.  His strong shoulders slumped under the strain of recent events.  Dean had been by your side for days, even after taking care of you back at the bunker.  It was a testament to his impressive stamina and force of will that he was still standing.
     Without a word, he turned down the lights, kicked off his boots and climbed into the narrow bed.  It should have been uncomfortable, given his size, but he gently arranged it so that you were partly settled on his chest.  Your weary body melted into the warmth he provided as his arms wrapped around you.  You were both slipped into a dreamless sleep without any effort at all.
     Three Weeks Later:      You were in the hospital eight days in total, three of them in the ICU.  When they finally released you, it was with a whole list of stipulations and guidelines.  Breathing exercises.  An oxygen tank for times when your levels dipped below a certain level.  Antibiotics the size of horse tranquilizers and updated rescue inhalers.  It was intense, but still preferable to staying one more night in the hospital.
     It was Sam alone who picked you up on your release date.  You were disappointed, but not surprised.  Dean was gone when you woke the morning after the two of you shared your hospital bed.  He texted you every day but only came back to visit you once when he and Sam dropped off some of your clothes. 
     It was okay, it really was. 
     You understood.  You’d scared him big time.  Frankly, you were still so sick that all you did was sleep anyway.  But when you were home and days passed with still no contact, you worried.  God bless Sam, he was right there every step of the way.  He drove you to therapy and helped you come up with a strength building regiment.  He kept you company and offered insight to his missing brother.
     “Give him some time, Y/N.  He’ll come around.  You know how he gets.”
     And so, you did.  Sam’s words offered solace, but they didn’t make up for the fact that you missed that salty, pain in the ass.  Somehow, the fact that Dean was just down the hall made you all the more lonely for him.  But you were determined to respect his need for privacy.  After everything that happened, you owed him that at the very least.
     When you were in the kitchen a few days later making one of Sam’s health smoothies, the last thing you expected was to hear Dean’s voice. 
     “Tell me you’re not gonna drink that.”
     You smiled but didn’t turn.  “Of course not.  I haven’t added the spirulina or wheat germ yet.”
     You heard him mutter something about pond scum under his breath while he rummaged through the fridge. 
     “I’ve got enough for two,” you teased.  “Should I get you a glass?”
     “Too bad your stay in the VIP suite didn’t improve your sense of humor, smartass.”
     You turned around and grinned at him.  God, he looked incredible!  Maybe it was not seeing him for a month, but he was a sight!  Dark jeans on bowed legs.  That red and black flannel shirt that somehow made him seem even broader.  Especially when he crossed his arms across his chest.  Like he was doing right now.  And glowering at you!  Ridiculous man!  You’d been busy recuperating from serious illness, and he looked like he wanted to reprimand you for leaving wet towels on the floor.  It might have pissed you off, if you weren’t so pleased to see him. 
     So, you laughed. 
     His expression went from sexy and grumpy to utterly baffled.  “Why are you laughing?”
     You shook your head with a goofy grin and answered honestly, “I’m just happy to see you.”
     He cautiously smiled back, “Yeah?’
     “Yeah.”
     “Huh.  Well in that case, you wanna get out of here?  I was thinking of going for a drive.”
     Your heart felt light, “I’ll get my coat.”
     Dean wasn’t sure how he was going to do it, but he knew he had to.  Even if it killed him, and it just might.  It wouldn’t be the first time he’d made the hard choice.  Break a heart, save a life.  He may as well get it tattooed on his ass.  At this point it was more of a life motto than saving people, hunting things.  He glanced over at you gazing happily out the window and he tried to burn the image into his memory.  Beautiful.  Hands down the most beautiful girl he’d ever met.  Even after he’d ignored you for weeks and pushed you off on his baby brother, you laughed and forgave him. 
     You looked just like you always had, maybe a bit thinner from your time in the hospital.  But Sammy had been adamant about those smoothies of his.  Nutrient dense.  They tasted like absolute ass, but they certainly seemed to help you get your color back.  Your hair was shiny and bouncy, he loved it when it was bouncy like that.  Cascading over your shoulders and framing your face.  It looked so soft and smelled like peaches when you tossed it back.  Your eyes were bright and glowed with good health.  Looking at you now, it was hard to believe you’d been on a ventilator only a few weeks ago. 
     “Hey, you wanna get out and walk for a bit?”  You asked, pointing out one of your favorite state parks ahead.
     “Sure.  You bring your scarf?”
     “Obviously,” you replied, pulling out the length of soft, white fabric from your bag.
     It was still a bit chilly out, but all the snow had been cleared from the paths and only an inch or so remained around the trees.  Dean kept shooting glances your way, checking for signs of distress as the two of you walked along.
     “I’m not going to keel over, you know.”
     Dean shoved his hands into the pockets of his black jacket.  “You need to be careful in the cold air, it’s no good for you.”
     “True, but walking is very good for me.  It helps build stamina.” 
     He didn’t reply to that and the two of you walked along in silence until you really couldn’t take it anymore.
     “It’s ridiculous, you know?  Me, having to rebuild stamina.  I was in the best shape of my life; I could run up ten flights of stairs and still chop the head off a vamp no problem.  Now I have to stop halfway through a beginner’s yoga class.”
     “Almost dying does that.”
     There was venom in his voice, but the fear was too.  Evidently, he hadn’t worked through it as much as you’d hoped. 
     “Is that why you’re kicking me out?  Because I almost died?”
     Dean stopped and turned to you, but he kept his eyes downcast.  “Y/N…”
     “Its really not fair.  You’ve almost died several times and I still keep you around.”  You tried to keep your tone light, but it was difficult with the tears threatening.
     “It’s not funny,” his eyes were getting red as he recalled the terrifying night he carried you into the E.R.  “You stopped breathing.  Your fucking heart stopped!”
     You knew this part.  After Dean closed himself off from you, you asked Sam to give you all the details.  Full cardiac arrest from a severe asthma attack, brought on by complications from pneumonia.  It had taken the doctors a while to stabilize you, but when they did you were so weak, they weren’t sure you were going to pull through.  Sam had a hard time talking about, even though you were sitting there alive and well in front of him.  That night shook them both to the core.
     You brought your hand up to cup Dean’s cheek, “I’m so sorry.”
     He closed his eyes briefly, letting the warmth of your touch comfort him.  “Why didn’t you tell me?  All this time… a fucking two year long pandemic… Covid is a respiratory virus!  What if…”
     You hurt him.  Far more than you’d realized.  And you hated yourself for it. This was going to take much more than a simple reassurance to work through. 
     “Can we sit?”
     He led you to a park bench, “We should head back to the car, it’s too cold for you.”
     “I’m okay, Dean,” you grabbed his hands, “I really, really am.  And I’m sorry.  I didn’t deliberately keep it from you, I just didn’t think about it.  I know it’s hard to fathom, but I’ve lived with it my whole life.  The things I do to minimize my risk are second nature to me now. And I haven’t had an attack in years.”
     “This wasn’t my first trip to the ICU; I spent my childhood in and out of hospitals.  Mom was very protective.  The doctors had her so scared that she didn’t let me do much.  No sports, no sleepovers, no camping trips.  She even moved us to Glenwood Springs because of it.”
     “Like Doc Holliday.”
     You rolled your eyes out of habit.�� Every time you mentioned your home, Dean spewed every bit of old west trivia he knew.  Which, you had to admit, was extensive.  Last time you were there he insisted on visiting the Doc Holliday museum, he even had you take his picture with gambler’s gun. 
     Then:      “Nice place,” Dean said, scanning the neatly maintained garden beds and brick walkways.
     “Yeah, it is.  Remember, this is just a quick stop so I can pick up some stuff.  Don’t do what you normally do.”
      “What are you talking about?”
     You ran a nervous hand through your hair and straightened your denim jacket, “That charming rogue routine you do whenever there’s a woman in front of you.”
     His grin turned cocky, “Sweetheart, that’s just me.  Can’t help it if the ladies love it.”
     You brushed a piece of lint off his shoulder with an impatient huff, “Rein it in, cowboy.”
     Before you could ring the bell, the front door swung open and revealed a woman who would have passed for your twin in her youth.  Tanned, with a bright white smile and silver bangles stacked on both arms.
     “Baby girl!”
     “Hi Momma,” you managed to say while she squeezed you tight.
     Your mother drew back and quickly scrutinized your appearance, “You taking care of yourself?  Regular appointments?  Feeling good?”
     “Yes, Ma’am.”
     That radiant smile was back, “Good girl!  And this tall drink of water must be that friend you told me about.”
     “Yes, this is Dean Winchester.  Dean, this is my mom, Beverly.”
     True to form, he turned up the charm to eleven.  “No way I’m gonna believe you are Y/N’s mother, you must be her sister.”
    “And you are the smoothest liar I’ve had on my doorstep,” Bev said, slipped her arm through Dean’s with a wink, “But please, don’t stop.  Why don’t we go out back and have coffee?  Y/N, I made that peach pie you’re so fond of!”
     “I love pie!”  Dean gave you an infuriating grin over your mother’s head as the two of them sailed into the house together.
     Three hours later, you had endured the torture of baby pictures and embarrassing stories from your adolescence.  While Dean supplied plenty of his own anecdotes of you getting lost in the grocery store and getting locked out of the motel room in only your underwear.  Luckily, the pie helped keep your mood from going sour. 
     “Okay, I’m going to head up and grab those boxes.”
     “Lift with your legs, Baby girl.”
     “Yes, Ma’am,” you replied, disappearing through the sliding glass door.
     Bev’s jovial mood turned serious as soon as her daughter was out of earshot.  “Okay, Winchester, shoot me straight.  How is my daughter?”
     Dean blinked in surprise, “I’m sorry?”
     “I may not be hip to everything going on, but I can feel the pair of you dancing around something big.  I’m not going stick my nose in, Y/N isn’t talking about it, and I respect that.  But I’m a mom and that girl is my whole life, so tell me… is she okay?  Do I need to worry about her?  About you?”
     Dean weighed his words carefully, “Y/N is… amazing.  She’s smart and strong.  She has the biggest vocabulary of anyone I’ve ever known, and she loves to show it off.  Even when she shouldn’t.  But she knows how to handle herself.  She kicks ass.”
     The corner of Bev’s mouth quirked, “It runs in the family.”
     “I can see that.”
     She leaned back in her chair and studied him, “You seem like a decent man, the sort who keeps his word.  That being the case, I have a favor to ask.  Keep an eye on my girl for me.”
     “Already done,” was his quick reply.
     Bev shook her head, “It’s not the dangers of the world I’m talking about.  I’m talking about looking after her when she’s not looking after herself.  Y/N… has a lot of life to live and when she gets busy… she just doesn’t see how far gone she is until she falls flat on her face.”
     Dean leaned forward, elbows on knees, “You’ve got my word, Bev.  I’ll never let her fall.”
     Now:      “I like your mom,” Dean looked down at his boots.  “She made me promise to look after you.”
     “You never told me that.”
     “I got the impression she didn’t want me to.  Thought maybe she had a mother’s intuition about you getting into the hunting business.  Guess she was talking about something else.”
     You let your gaze drift over to the lake in the distance, half thawed already.  It would be an early spring this year.  A sign of hope for the future.
     “We got in this huge fight when I was nineteen.  I wanted to move out, go to college, see the world.  I missed out on so much as a sick kid, but I survived it.  I worked hard to strengthen my lungs and build up stamina.  I followed every doctor’s order to the letter so that I could actually live my life like a normal person… and it worked, but when the time came, I still didn’t have her support.  I was so pissed!  I packed a bag and left in the middle of the night.”
     “How’d that go over?”
     “I hadn’t yet mastered the art of covering my tracks.  Plus, she was dating the sheriff.  I was back home twenty-four hours later.” 
     Dean snorted, “Amateur.” 
     “Mom and I came to an agreement after that.  I stay local, stay in communication, and keep doing everything my doctors ask and in return, she would stop focusing on my condition like it was a death sentence.”  You shrugged, “Things were better after that.”
    “Your mom is awesome, I’m glad she supports you…. You’re lucky, Y/N.”
     Dean took your hand, surprising you.  His fingers linked with yours, rubbing his thumb over yours.  Then he frowned, his brows drew down over his eyes in worry.  Like a black cloud had settled over his heart. 
     “Y/N…”
     You knew what he wanted to say, you could feel it.  You could see it in his eyes whenever he dared to look at you.  The sorrow.  All you wanted to do was save him from it.  From himself.
     “It’s amazing how much we still don’t know about how the human body works,” you blurted out, making him blink in confusion.
     “What?”
     “Being sedated, for example.  Medical experts still aren’t sure why some people retain a certain level of consciousness and others remember nothing.  When I was seven, I was in the hospital for a month, my mother read The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe to me even though I wasn’t awake.  When I came out of it, I remembered the whole thing.” 
     You could see the realization slowly register in his beautiful eyes.  If you heard your mother, you must have heard him.
     Then:      It was cold in your room.  You hated being cold, it was one of your main complaints about the bunker.  You cranked the thermostat, took boiling hot showers, and frequently stole clothes from both Winchesters.  Although, you seemed to favor Dean’s over his brother’s.  A fact he griped about, but secretly liked.  He liked knowing that you felt at home enough to make yourself comfortable.  If you were comfortable, maybe you would stay. 
     Dean brought your favorite blanket and tucked it around you, careful of the machines and wires.  “There you go, Sweetheart.  Just like home.”
     He sat in the stiff chair beside your bed and studied your peaceful face.  He tried to think of you as an enchanted princess.  Sleeping Beauty, just waiting for the right prince to swing by and break the curse.  Unlikely in his world.  Still… it was easier than the truth.
     He might have been able to fool himself for a while if it weren’t for that breathing tube.
     “Actually, that’s a lie...  this place is nothing like home.  Home has all the amenities, right?  I’ll bet this state-of-the-art medical facility doesn’t even have a firing range.  Or a dungeon!” 
     “Course, it wasn’t always so awesome.  A lot of spiders when we first moved in.  Plus, Sammy and I added our personal touches to make it more comfortable.  That mini fridge in the library, totally my idea.  It really pulled the room together, you know?”
     He chuckled a little at his Big Lebowski reference, disheartened when the only response was the hiss of the ventilator. 
     He reached over and gently combed his fingers through your hair.  Your skin was cool to the touch since your fever broke in the night.  That had to be a good sign, right? 
     “I’ve got a confession, but you gotta promise not to tell Sam, okay?  I never really wanted to live in the bunker full time.  Not at first.  Don’t get me wrong, I liked it!  It was our personal Batcave!  But Batman… he doesn’t live in the Batcave.  The Batcave is for work only.  And that was my plan.  Work in the bunker as a base of operations but live like we always did.  On the road.”
     Dean’s hand moved to yours, toying with your fingers.  You had such elegant hands.  You never wore jewelry, just like you never wore make-up.  You didn’t have a closet full of clothes.  You wore things of nice quality, but you didn’t have lots of them.  Only what you needed.  Same with everything else, you didn’t do fussy or extravagant.  But it wasn’t because you liked to keep things simple, it was because you were focused on living your life, not adorning it.  
     He liked that about you.  You were straightforward and up for anything.  You never hesitated to jump right in.  You were quick on your feet and quick with your wit.  You came up with better cover stories than he or Sam ever did.  Your contributions to the team were welcome and seamless, almost from the start.
     With anyone else, your eagerness might have come across as a need to prove yourself.  But you didn’t seem to be afflicted in that way.  You knew your worth.  You were confident.  And that rubbed off on everyone you came in contact with.  Cops, sheriffs, coroners, witnesses, victims.  All of them responded to you in ways that were remarkable.  Your presence calmed them.  Dean too.
     “The longer we stayed in the bunker, the more obvious it became that life on the road was never gonna be like it was before.  Sammy loved it, and I never could deny that kid anything.  But for me…. I dunno.  It took a while.  I even slept in Baby those first few nights.  Eventually, I picked out a room, got a bed that remembers me, and it was better.”
     “You were our first guest; did you know that?  Well Cas was, but he doesn’t sleep so that doesn’t really count.  You were the first non-Winchester to sleep in the Batcave.  On that old army cot, remember?  Tried to get you to take my bed… stubborn.  You were so stiff the next day you could barely walk, but you stuck it out.  You should have taken me up on it, I was on the couch most nights anyway.  Nightmares.”
     “I’ll never forget the morning I woke up and found you there with me.  All warm and cuddled up against me.  I moved and you shushed me in your sleep, mumbled that everything was okay.  God, I don’t think I’d ever slept that good.  We went to that diner in town for breakfast and I asked you to move in.  Sammy nearly choked on his egg whites,” Dean laughed softly at the memory.  “The bunker was a home then.”
     “If you were awake, you’d probably laugh and tell me what I sap I am.  And you’d be right, but I can’t help it.  It’s you, Y/N.  You have this magic… I don’t know what else to call it.  You don’t even have to say anything, and my heart starts to race.  I think about you, more than I should.  In ways that I shouldn’t, and I can’t stop.  I don’t want to stop.”
     “I love you, Y/N.  In case you don’t know; in case you can hear me in your dreams right now… I love you.  I’ve always loved you and if you stay, if you come back to me… I’m going to show you every day just how much.”
     Now:      He tried to speak, but you moved your fingers to his lips to stop him.  Tears shimmered in your eyes, but you managed a wavering smile. 
     “I love you too.”
     You watched the conflicting emotions flicker across his handsome face.  Joy and torment.  Ecstasy and pain.  He traced the underside of your jaw with his fingers, making your shiver inside and your eyes closed on a sigh.  When his lips connected with yours, it was electric!  The world shifted.  Colors, tastes, sensations, all redefined from that moment.  Soft and warm and connected on a level that could only come from love. 
     It was everything you’d ever dreamt his kiss could be, and it ended far too quickly.
     He rested his forehead against yours, puffs of white, heated breath mingling between you.  After a few minutes, he brushed the tears from your cheeks with his thumb, “Don’t cry, Sweetheart.  It breaks my heart when you cry.”
     “Don’t send me away.  Please don’t send me away.”
     “Baby, that bunker is no place for you.  There are no windows, the ventilation is crap, there’s a mildew problem.  I talked to those doctors about the type of environment an asthmatic should live in… Bomb shelter from the fifties didn’t make the cut.”
     “I’ve been living there for five years without an issue,” you pointed out.
     “Yeah, with a humidifier and inhalers.  But it’s different now, that round of pneumonia damaged your lungs.  You need to be someplace where its easier to breathe, not harder.”
     “You’re right.  Which is why Sam and I have been designing a new HVAC system.”
     That stopped him, “Really?  Why didn’t you guys tell me?”
     “Because you went all emo and hid in your room for a month.”
     “I’m not emo!  What kind of HVAC system?”
     “A kick ass one,” you grinned so that your tongue peeked out between your teeth.  “Any other concerns?”
     “What about hunting?” he challenged.
     “I don’t know,” you answered honestly and there was a pang of longing that went with it.  “I have no idea if I’ll ever get back to the physical condition I was before all of this.  No matter how hard I work for it or wish for it and the truth is… going into the field with that kind of a handicap is not in the cards.”
     Dean nodded grimly and dropped his gaze to his lap.  Admitting the possibility of an early retirement was killing you, and he knew it.  You loved hunting, it was as much a part of you as it was for him.  The uncertainty of not knowing if you could do it again, must be terrifying for you.
     “I’m sorry.”
     “I’m not.”  His head shot up and you shrugged, “Most hunters don’t get sidelined, they get killed.  My life might not look they way I thought it was going to, but I’m still here.  Living it.  I’m going to take that win and run with it.”
     “You’re amazing, you know that?  You’re so damn strong… your life got turned upside down and you just roll with it.”  Those impossibly green eyes looked at you with such awe, like he couldn’t quiet believe that you actually existed. 
     “You deserve the best, and that’s not me.”
     “That’s not for you to say.”
     “Doesn’t matter, it’s my choice.”
     “That’s where you’re wrong,” you lifted your chin in proud defiance, “Team Freewill, right?  I will always have a choice, no matter what hand you try to deal me.  I love you, Dean Winchester!  And I am never going to stop.  And I am never going to disappear from your life.  Even if you tell me to hit the bricks, I’ll still call and text and email and whatever just to make sure you’re still alive and well.  Even if this ends, I will still love you!  You ridiculous man!”
     There was a change in his gaze, subtle but there all the same.  He shook his head with a chuckle.  He knew when he was beat, and he was grateful for it.
     “Your cheeks turn the prettiest shade of pink when you get all worked up, you know that?”
     “My cheeks are pink because it’s freezing out here!”
     Dean ripped his coat off and wrapped it over yours, “Damn it, Y/N!  I knew you were cold!”
     “Well, if you were any kind of a boyfriend, you’d take my back to the car and warm me up properly!”
     He was pulling the hood up over your head when he paused, “Boyfriend, huh?”
     “Yeah, the kind that warms his girl up in the backseat,” you grinned and playfully rubbed your nose against his.
     He growled in your ear and stood, sweeping you up in his arms and making you yelp in delight. 
     “Dean!  I can still walk, you know!”
     “Save your energy, Sweetheart, you’re gonna need it.  Tonight, we’re gonna fog up all the windows!”
TAGLIST @deans-baby-momma @muchamusedaboutnothing @peterpangirl21 @ficbreaks @teresa-67 @sacriceria @verytoadpapersoul @heartbreak-of-a-marauder @savspersonalproperty @deanwanddamons @jenwinchester40 @perpetualabsurdity @starryeyeseunbyul @sexyvixen7 @katsbratsupernaturalwhore @agirlwithdemonblood @jerkbitchidjitassbutt @imthedoctorlove @roonyxx @smellingofpoetry @deanwinchesterswitch @thinkinghardhardlythinking @pink-sparkly-witch @barewithme02 @deadlynightshadeindustries @jc-winchester @mrswhozeewhatsis  @kinderousmaster @lyarr24 @aphorism-001 @onlinecemetery @allonsy-yesiwill @myeagletoadmaker @chucksfavouriteprophet
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Breathe Free (Part Two)
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Summary: You were perfectly capable of taking care of yourself, thank you very much! Dean knew that, he also knew better. He’d seen you sick plenty of times in the past five years, but this was different. This was much more than a cold, but you were so stubborn about doctors! Dean Winchester isn’t about to let you slip away, even if it means going against your wishes. He only hopes he’s not too late!
Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader, Dean x Reader, Dean x You
Characters: Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, Reader
Warnings: Hurt/Comfort, Sickfic, Sick!Reader, Hospitals, Kissing, fluff
Word Count: 5873
One Shot - Two Parts
Author’s Notes: I have been sick with Covid for a month. Well… down sick for 2 ½ weeks and recovering my stamina for 2 more. Its been a real bitch. Plus my disabled mother has it now. This is following a nervous breakdown I had in June. Writing has been my passion and my mental health balm, but I’ve not been able to produce anything in months. So this… this is a fucking triumph!! I’m still working on all my other WIP, so please stick around. I’ll get there… eventually :) I’m hoping to finish part two shortly and post in a week… ish.
Thank you all for the continued support! Additional Notes: Still hanging in there, long covid is a bitch, but it does improve. More or less. I am SO happy with myself that I’ve finished a story! Even a little self-indulgent two parter. As always, thank you all! Your kind words and encouragement have really helped me. Love you guys :) Masterlist Breathe Free (Part One)
     Hospitals were noisy places.  Filled with squeaking wheels, scuffling shoes, and code calls.  The ICU was worse with its beeping monitors and hissing ventilators.  The constant stream of nurses and doctors talking in hushed concern about things like hypoxia and bradypnea and other terrifying medical babble.
     This wasn’t the first time Dean sat beside someone he cared about while they lingered between life and death.   He was a hunter; it came with the gig.  Broken bones and bullet holes.  The waiting and the worrying were pure hell, and he would know.  It was the reason he was so quick to put himself in the line of fire.  Not just to save a life, but to spare himself the agony of the wait.  Minutes that ticked by endlessly, ratcheting up the uncertainty.  Underscoring just how powerless he was.
     Never did it cross his mind that illness would snatch you away from him.  That you would simply get sick, like a normal person.  Pneumonia could be dangerous for anyone, but for someone with asthma, it could be deadly.
     You were sedated for three days while the ventilator breathed for you and gave your body a chance to rest and heal.  The doctors assured him that it was standard procedure, but damn was it intense.  Dean had never seen you look so fragile.  So pale.  You looked as if you could slip away at any moment, the only thing keeping you tethered to the Earthly realm were the wires and tubes attached to your body.   
     Dean took your hand.  He wondered about your soul.  Were you here with him?  Watching from somewhere nearby?  Or were you negotiating with a reaper?  Would you bargain for more time, or would you choose heaven?  A soul like yours was guaranteed a ticket to the penthouse. 
     It was in times like this that he cursed his profession.  What good was a lifetime’s worth of supernatural knowledge if he couldn’t use it to save you?  God knows he tried.  He tried every trick in the book, in the end it was Sam who talked sense into him.
     “She doesn’t need you to sell your soul Dean!  She just needs you.  Be there, hold her hand, tell her it’s going to be okay.  Let her know she isn’t alone.”
Sammy was right, as he usually was.  The nurses said you’d shown enough improvement that they were taking you off the ventilator today.  As much as Dean wanted to believe it, he was cautious in his optimism. 
     He was so wrapped up in his own worry that he didn’t notice your fingers shifting against his palm.  Your eyelids fluttered, then went still.  It was so slight, that Dean thought he’d imagined it. 
     He desperately searched your face and held his breath.  God please…
“Y/N?”
     A few seconds later you did it again, this time you gave his hand a proper squeeze and Dean felt like his heart was going to burst. 
     He squeezed back, his other hand coming up to brush your cheek, “Y/N… baby, can you hear me?”
     After several tries, you finally managed to open your eyes fully.  Exhausted, you looked around the room.  When your gaze landed on Dean, he smiled.  You tried to say his name and when you couldn’t, you panicked!  Choking on the tube shoved down your throat, your eyes went wide.
     “Hey!  It’s okay!  You’re in the hospital, Sweetheart.  Just stay calm.  We’ll get that tube out, let me go get the nurse.”
     He stood and your grip became desperate.  And strong.  Incredibly strong.  Tears trickled from the corners of your eyes as you tried to convey your thoughts.  You were wide awake, and you needed him.  Relief washed over him; no reapers would come knocking today. 
     “Okay, okay.  Shh…” he sat beside you and pressed a kiss to your forehead while his free hand hit the call button.  “I’ve got you; I’ve got you.  I’m not going anywhere.”
     Sam was walking down the corridor towards the ICU rooms with two large coffees balanced in one hand.  You were only allowed one visitor at a time, so he and Dean took turns.  Although, Dean always came back early.  And he begged the nurses to let him stay past visiting hours.  Sam got the impression they felt sorry for him, but knowing Dean, he would have found a way around the rules one way or another.
     When Sam saw his brother in the hallway, he quickened his pace.  He was leaning against the wall, bent at the waist with his hands braced on his knees. 
     “Dean?  What happened?  What’s going on?”
     Dean raised his head, sniffling back emotion, “She’s awake.  They’re… ah… they’re taking out that tube.”
     Sam caught the glossy sheen in Dean’s eyes.  He clapped a hand on his shoulder, “That’s fantastic.  Dean, that’s great.”
     Dean nodded and pulled Sam into a brief, tight hug then released him and took a coffee. 
     “Good thing you talked me out of selling my soul, huh?’
     You weren’t really sleeping when Sam and Dean walked into your new room in the regular section of the hospital.  But every muscle in your body was so taxed that even keeping your eyes open was an effort.  There was an oxygen mask covering your nose and mouth, but it was far more comfortable than that damn ventilator tube.  You were cold too, but that was part of being in a hospital.  It was all so familiar and disheartening.
     The squeak of the door prompted you to open your heavy eyes and you smiled.  The Winchesters were there, a welcome contrast of denim and flannel against the sterile hospital décor.  They had arms filled with gifts; balloons, books, a bag of watermelon Jolly Ranchers, and the biggest arrangement of flowers you’d ever seen.  Dozens of roses, hydrangeas, and snapdragons.  
     “Flowers.”
     Your voice was a raspy whisper behind the mask, but it still made Dean beam brightly. 
     “Hell yeah, Sammy and I bought out every white flower they had.”  He set the massive vase down on the table.  “They’re your favorite, right?”
     You nodded, tracing a finger over the edge of one perfect bloom.  You had a late-night debate with him eons ago about how white couldn’t be your favorite color because it wasn’t really a color.  It’s a shade.  Technically, it was a sum of all possible colors.  Hence, the debate.
     Sam pulled out a stuffed a huge, stuffed moose from behind his back.  It was impossibly soft with floppy antlers and was wearing one of his flannel shirts tied in place with a white velvet bow.
     You laughed, “Aww!  A… Win..chester of… my own.”
     Sam’s throat got tight as the halting cadence of your words.  Even with the oxygen, you were out of breath.  He leaned down and hugged you.  Normally, he would squeeze you tight and lift you off your feet just to make you giggle like a kid sister.  Today, he was careful.  Mindful of the electrodes and wires and of how fragile you felt in his arms. 
     “You’ve already got two Winchesters,” he said, kissing the top of your head.  “Add him to your collection.”
     Your eyes were drooping, even after just a few minutes your energy was completely depleted.  You let your head fall back against the pillow with a tired smile, “Thank you… Sammy.”
     “We should get out of here, let you sleep,” he replied, catching his brother’s attention.
     “Yeah,” Dean gave a reluctant nod.  “If you’re lucky, we’ll smuggle in one of those triple thick strawberry-kiwi shakes you like.”
     You grabbed hold of his hand again and tugged.  It was so much effort to talk, you hope he got the message. 
     A wordless look passed between the brothers and Sam took his cue, leaving the two of you alone.  You tried to focus on your breathing and on the warmth of Dean’s hand holding yours.  It took every bit of strength you had to stay awake, but it was so important.  You couldn’t let him leave, not yet.
     Dean wiped away the single tear that slid down your cheek.  “Hey, hey.  What’s wrong, Sweetheart?”
     “I… I’m… s… sorry.”
     He soothed back your hair, “Sorry for what?”
     “Should have… gone… to… th… the doctor.”
     “No, hey, don’t worry about any of that.”
     “Scared… you.”
     Dean cupped your face with his large palm, “Listen to me.  I don’t want you to think about any of that stuff, okay?  It doesn’t matter.  The only thing that matters is you getting better.  That’s all I care about.”
     You nodded; your eyes shuttered to half-mast.  “Tired.”
     He let out a chuckle and ran a hand over his five o’clock shadow, “I’ll bet you are.”
     You shook your head and pointed at him.  When he tilted his head in confusion, you patted the mattress beside you.
     He was exhausted.  It was etched in every line on his beautiful face.  His green eyes, the ones you had loved since you first looked into them were bloodshot.  His strong shoulders slumped under the strain of recent events.  Dean had been by your side for days, even after taking care of you back at the bunker.  It was a testament to his impressive stamina and force of will that he was still standing.
     Without a word, he turned down the lights, kicked off his boots and climbed into the narrow bed.  It should have been uncomfortable, given his size, but he gently arranged it so that you were partly settled on his chest.  Your weary body melted into the warmth he provided as his arms wrapped around you.  You were both slipped into a dreamless sleep without any effort at all.
     Three Weeks Later:      You were in the hospital eight days in total, three of them in the ICU.  When they finally released you, it was with a whole list of stipulations and guidelines.  Breathing exercises.  An oxygen tank for times when your levels dipped below a certain level.  Antibiotics the size of horse tranquilizers and updated rescue inhalers.  It was intense, but still preferable to staying one more night in the hospital.
     It was Sam alone who picked you up on your release date.  You were disappointed, but not surprised.  Dean was gone when you woke the morning after the two of you shared your hospital bed.  He texted you every day but only came back to visit you once when he and Sam dropped off some of your clothes. 
     It was okay, it really was. 
     You understood.  You’d scared him big time.  Frankly, you were still so sick that all you did was sleep anyway.  But when you were home and days passed with still no contact, you worried.  God bless Sam, he was right there every step of the way.  He drove you to therapy and helped you come up with a strength building regiment.  He kept you company and offered insight to his missing brother.
     “Give him some time, Y/N.  He’ll come around.  You know how he gets.”
And so, you did.  Sam’s words offered solace, but they didn’t make up for the fact that you missed that salty, pain in the ass.  Somehow, the fact that Dean was just down the hall made you all the more lonely for him.  But you were determined to respect his need for privacy.  After everything that happened, you owed him that at the very least.
     When you were in the kitchen a few days later making one of Sam’s health smoothies, the last thing you expected was to hear Dean’s voice. 
     “Tell me you’re not gonna drink that.”
     You smiled but didn’t turn.  “Of course not.  I haven’t added the spirulina or wheat germ yet.”
     You heard him mutter something about pond scum under his breath while he rummaged through the fridge. 
     “I’ve got enough for two,” you teased.  “Should I get you a glass?”
     “Too bad your stay in the VIP suite didn’t improve your sense of humor, smartass.”
     You turned around and grinned at him.  God, he looked incredible!  Maybe it was not seeing him for a month, but he was a sight!  Dark jeans on bowed legs.  That red and black flannel shirt that somehow made him seem even broader.  Especially when he crossed his arms across his chest.  Like he was doing right now.  And glowering at you!  Ridiculous man!  You’d been busy recuperating from serious illness, and he looked like he wanted to reprimand you for leaving wet towels on the floor.  It might have pissed you off, if you weren’t so pleased to see him. 
     So, you laughed. 
     His expression went from sexy and grumpy to utterly baffled.  “Why are you laughing?”
     You shook your head with a goofy grin and answered honestly, “I’m just happy to see you.”
     He cautiously smiled back, “Yeah?’
     “Yeah.”
     “Huh.  Well in that case, you wanna get out of here?  I was thinking of going for a drive.”
     Your heart felt light, “I’ll get my coat.”
     Dean wasn’t sure how he was going to do it, but he knew he had to.  Even if it killed him, and it just might.  It wouldn’t be the first time he’d made the hard choice.  Break a heart, save a life.  He may as well get it tattooed on his ass.  At this point it was more of a life motto than saving people, hunting things.  He glanced over at you gazing happily out the window and he tried to burn the image into his memory.  Beautiful.  Hands down the most beautiful girl he’d ever met.  Even after he’d ignored you for weeks and pushed you off on his baby brother, you laughed and forgave him. 
     You looked just like you always had, maybe a bit thinner from your time in the hospital.  But Sammy had been adamant about those smoothies of his.  Nutrient dense.  They tasted like absolute ass, but they certainly seemed to help you get your color back.  Your hair was shiny and bouncy, he loved it when it was bouncy like that.  Cascading over your shoulders and framing your face.  It looked so soft and smelled like peaches when you tossed it back.  Your eyes were bright and glowed with good health.  Looking at you now, it was hard to believe you’d been on a ventilator only a few weeks ago. 
     “Hey, you wanna get out and walk for a bit?”  You asked, pointing out one of your favorite state parks ahead.
     “Sure.  You bring your scarf?”
     “Obviously,” you replied, pulling out the length of soft, white fabric from your bag.
     It was still a bit chilly out, but all the snow had been cleared from the paths and only an inch or so remained around the trees.  Dean kept shooting glances your way, checking for signs of distress as the two of you walked along.
     “I’m not going to keel over, you know.”
     Dean shoved his hands into the pockets of his black jacket.  “You need to be careful in the cold air, it’s no good for you.”
     “True, but walking is very good for me.  It helps build stamina.” 
     He didn’t reply to that and the two of you walked along in silence until you really couldn’t take it anymore.
     “It’s ridiculous, you know?  Me, having to rebuild stamina.  I was in the best shape of my life; I could run up ten flights of stairs and still chop the head off a vamp no problem.  Now I have to stop halfway through a beginner’s yoga class.”
     “Almost dying does that.”
     There was venom in his voice, but the fear was too.  Evidently, he hadn’t worked through it as much as you’d hoped. 
     “Is that why you’re kicking me out?  Because I almost died?”
     Dean stopped and turned to you, but he kept his eyes downcast.  “Y/N…”
     “Its really not fair.  You’ve almost died several times and I still keep you around.”  You tried to keep your tone light, but it was difficult with the tears threatening.
     “It’s not funny,” his eyes were getting red as he recalled the terrifying night he carried you into the E.R.  “You stopped breathing.  Your fucking heart stopped!”
     You knew this part.  After Dean closed himself off from you, you asked Sam to give you all the details.  Full cardiac arrest from a severe asthma attack, brought on by complications from pneumonia.  It had taken the doctors a while to stabilize you, but when they did you were so weak, they weren’t sure you were going to pull through.  Sam had a hard time talking about, even though you were sitting there alive and well in front of him.  That night shook them both to the core.
     You brought your hand up to cup Dean’s cheek, “I’m so sorry.”
     He closed his eyes briefly, letting the warmth of your touch comfort him.  “Why didn’t you tell me?  All this time… a fucking two year long pandemic… Covid is a respiratory virus!  What if…”
     You hurt him.  Far more than you’d realized.  And you hated yourself for it. This was going to take much more than a simple reassurance to work through. 
     “Can we sit?”
     He led you to a park bench, “We should head back to the car, it’s too cold for you.”
     “I’m okay, Dean,” you grabbed his hands, “I really, really am.  And I’m sorry.  I didn’t deliberately keep it from you, I just didn’t think about it.  I know it’s hard to fathom, but I’ve lived with it my whole life.  The things I do to minimize my risk are second nature to me now. And I haven’t had an attack in years.”
     “This wasn’t my first trip to the ICU; I spent my childhood in and out of hospitals.  Mom was very protective.  The doctors had her so scared that she didn’t let me do much.  No sports, no sleepovers, no camping trips.  She even moved us to Glenwood Springs because of it.”
     “Like Doc Holliday.”
     You rolled your eyes out of habit.  Every time you mentioned your home, Dean spewed every bit of old west trivia he knew.  Which, you had to admit, was extensive.  Last time you were there he insisted on visiting the Doc Holliday museum, he even had you take his picture with gambler’s gun. 
     Then:      “Nice place,” Dean said, scanning the neatly maintained garden beds and brick walkways.
     “Yeah, it is.  Remember, this is just a quick stop so I can pick up some stuff.  Don’t do what you normally do.”
      “What are you talking about?”
     You ran a nervous hand through your hair and straightened your denim jacket, “That charming rogue routine you do whenever there’s a woman in front of you.”
     His grin turned cocky, “Sweetheart, that’s just me.  Can’t help it if the ladies love it.”
     You brushed a piece of lint off his shoulder with an impatient huff, “Rein it in, cowboy.”
     Before you could ring the bell, the front door swung open and revealed a woman who would have passed for your twin in her youth.  Tanned, with a bright white smile and silver bangles stacked on both arms.
     “Baby girl!”
     “Hi Momma,” you managed to say while she squeezed you tight.
     Your mother drew back and quickly scrutinized your appearance, “You taking care of yourself?  Regular appointments?  Feeling good?”
     “Yes, Ma’am.”
     That radiant smile was back, “Good girl!  And this tall drink of water must be that friend you told me about.”
     “Yes, this is Dean Winchester.  Dean, this is my mom, Beverly.”
     True to form, he turned up the charm to eleven.  “No way I’m gonna believe you are Y/N’s mother, you must be her sister.”
    “And you are the smoothest liar I’ve had on my doorstep,” Bev said, slipped her arm through Dean’s with a wink, “But please, don’t stop.  Why don’t we go out back and have coffee?  Y/N, I made that peach pie you’re so fond of!”
     “I love pie!”  Dean gave you an infuriating grin over your mother’s head as the two of them sailed into the house together.
     Three hours later, you had endured the torture of baby pictures and embarrassing stories from your adolescence.  While Dean supplied plenty of his own anecdotes of you getting lost in the grocery store and getting locked out of the motel room in only your underwear.  Luckily, the pie helped keep your mood from going sour. 
     “Okay, I’m going to head up and grab those boxes.”
     “Lift with your legs, Baby girl.”
     “Yes, Ma’am,” you replied, disappearing through the sliding glass door.
     Bev’s jovial mood turned serious as soon as her daughter was out of earshot.  “Okay, Winchester, shoot me straight.  How is my daughter?”
     Dean blinked in surprise, “I’m sorry?”
     “I may not be hip to everything going on, but I can feel the pair of you dancing around something big.  I’m not going stick my nose in, Y/N isn’t talking about it, and I respect that.  But I’m a mom and that girl is my whole life, so tell me… is she okay?  Do I need to worry about her?  About you?”
     Dean weighed his words carefully, “Y/N is… amazing.  She’s smart and strong.  She has the biggest vocabulary of anyone I’ve ever known, and she loves to show it off.  Even when she shouldn’t.  But she knows how to handle herself.  She kicks ass.”
     The corner of Bev’s mouth quirked, “It runs in the family.”
     “I can see that.”
     She leaned back in her chair and studied him, “You seem like a decent man, the sort who keeps his word.  That being the case, I have a favor to ask.  Keep an eye on my girl for me.”
     “Already done,” was his quick reply.
     Bev shook her head, “It’s not the dangers of the world I’m talking about.  I’m talking about looking after her when she’s not looking after herself.  Y/N… has a lot of life to live and when she gets busy… she just doesn’t see how far gone she is until she falls flat on her face.”
     Dean leaned forward, elbows on knees, “You’ve got my word, Bev.  I’ll never let her fall.”
Now:      “I like your mom,” Dean looked down at his boots.  “She made me promise to look after you.”
     “You never told me that.”
     “I got the impression she didn’t want me to.  Thought maybe she had a mother’s intuition about you getting into the hunting business.  Guess she was talking about something else.”
     You let your gaze drift over to the lake in the distance, half thawed already.  It would be an early spring this year.  A sign of hope for the future.
     “We got in this huge fight when I was nineteen.  I wanted to move out, go to college, see the world.  I missed out on so much as a sick kid, but I survived it.  I worked hard to strengthen my lungs and build up stamina.  I followed every doctor’s order to the letter so that I could actually live my life like a normal person… and it worked, but when the time came, I still didn’t have her support.  I was so pissed!  I packed a bag and left in the middle of the night.”
     “How’d that go over?”
     “I hadn’t yet mastered the art of covering my tracks.  Plus, she was dating the sheriff.  I was back home twenty-four hours later.” 
     Dean snorted, “Amateur.” 
     “Mom and I came to an agreement after that.  I stay local, stay in communication, and keep doing everything my doctors ask and in return, she would stop focusing on my condition like it was a death sentence.”  You shrugged, “Things were better after that.”
    “Your mom is awesome, I’m glad she supports you…. You’re lucky, Y/N.”
     Dean took your hand, surprising you.  His fingers linked with yours, rubbing his thumb over yours.  Then he frowned, his brows drew down over his eyes in worry.  Like a black cloud had settled over his heart. 
     “Y/N…”
     You knew what he wanted to say, you could feel it.  You could see it in his eyes whenever he dared to look at you.  The sorrow.  All you wanted to do was save him from it.  From himself.
     “It’s amazing how much we still don’t know about how the human body works,” you blurted out, making him blink in confusion.
     “What?”
     “Being sedated, for example.  Medical experts still aren’t sure why some people retain a certain level of consciousness and others remember nothing.  When I was seven, I was in the hospital for a month, my mother read The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe to me even though I wasn’t awake.  When I came out of it, I remembered the whole thing.” 
     You could see the realization slowly register in his beautiful eyes.  If you heard your mother, you must have heard him.
     Then:      It was cold in your room.  You hated being cold, it was one of your main complaints about the bunker.  You cranked the thermostat, took boiling hot showers, and frequently stole clothes from both Winchesters.  Although, you seemed to favor Dean’s over his brother’s.  A fact he griped about, but secretly liked.  He liked knowing that you felt at home enough to make yourself comfortable.  If you were comfortable, maybe you would stay. 
     Dean brought your favorite blanket and tucked it around you, careful of the machines and wires.  “There you go, Sweetheart.  Just like home.”
     He sat in the stiff chair beside your bed and studied your peaceful face.  He tried to think of you as an enchanted princess.  Sleeping Beauty, just waiting for the right prince to swing by and break the curse.  Unlikely in his world.  Still… it was easier than the truth.
     He might have been able to fool himself for a while if it weren’t for that breathing tube.
     “Actually, that’s a lie…  this place is nothing like home.  Home has all the amenities, right?  I’ll bet this state-of-the-art medical facility doesn’t even have a firing range.  Or a dungeon!” 
     “Course, it wasn’t always so awesome.  A lot of spiders when we first moved in.  Plus, Sammy and I added our personal touches to make it more comfortable.  That mini fridge in the library, totally my idea.  It really pulled the room together, you know?”
     He chuckled a little at his Big Lebowski reference, disheartened when the only response was the hiss of the ventilator. 
     He reached over and gently combed his fingers through your hair.  Your skin was cool to the touch since your fever broke in the night.  That had to be a good sign, right? 
     “I’ve got a confession, but you gotta promise not to tell Sam, okay?  I never really wanted to live in the bunker full time.  Not at first.  Don’t get me wrong, I liked it!  It was our personal Batcave!  But Batman… he doesn’t live in the Batcave.  The Batcave is for work only.  And that was my plan.  Work in the bunker as a base of operations but live like we always did.  On the road.”
     Dean’s hand moved to yours, toying with your fingers.  You had such elegant hands.  You never wore jewelry, just like you never wore make-up.  You didn’t have a closet full of clothes.  You wore things of nice quality, but you didn’t have lots of them.  Only what you needed.  Same with everything else, you didn’t do fussy or extravagant.  But it wasn’t because you liked to keep things simple, it was because you were focused on living your life, not adorning it.  
     He liked that about you.  You were straightforward and up for anything.  You never hesitated to jump right in.  You were quick on your feet and quick with your wit.  You came up with better cover stories than he or Sam ever did.  Your contributions to the team were welcome and seamless, almost from the start.
     With anyone else, your eagerness might have come across as a need to prove yourself.  But you didn’t seem to be afflicted in that way.  You knew your worth.  You were confident.  And that rubbed off on everyone you came in contact with.  Cops, sheriffs, coroners, witnesses, victims.  All of them responded to you in ways that were remarkable.  Your presence calmed them.  Dean too.
     “The longer we stayed in the bunker, the more obvious it became that life on the road was never gonna be like it was before.  Sammy loved it, and I never could deny that kid anything.  But for me…. I dunno.  It took a while.  I even slept in Baby those first few nights.  Eventually, I picked out a room, got a bed that remembers me, and it was better.”
     “You were our first guest; did you know that?  Well Cas was, but he doesn’t sleep so that doesn’t really count.  You were the first non-Winchester to sleep in the Batcave.  On that old army cot, remember?  Tried to get you to take my bed… stubborn.  You were so stiff the next day you could barely walk, but you stuck it out.  You should have taken me up on it, I was on the couch most nights anyway.  Nightmares.”
     “I’ll never forget the morning I woke up and found you there with me.  All warm and cuddled up against me.  I moved and you shushed me in your sleep, mumbled that everything was okay.  God, I don’t think I’d ever slept that good.  We went to that diner in town for breakfast and I asked you to move in.  Sammy nearly choked on his egg whites,” Dean laughed softly at the memory.  “The bunker was a home then.”
     “If you were awake, you’d probably laugh and tell me what I sap I am.  And you’d be right, but I can’t help it.  It’s you, Y/N.  You have this magic… I don’t know what else to call it.  You don’t even have to say anything, and my heart starts to race.  I think about you, more than I should.  In ways that I shouldn’t, and I can’t stop.  I don’t want to stop.”
     “I love you, Y/N.  In case you don’t know; in case you can hear me in your dreams right now… I love you.  I’ve always loved you and if you stay, if you come back to me… I’m going to show you every day just how much.”
     Now:      He tried to speak, but you moved your fingers to his lips to stop him.  Tears shimmered in your eyes, but you managed a wavering smile. 
     “I love you too.”
     You watched the conflicting emotions flicker across his handsome face.  Joy and torment.  Ecstasy and pain.  He traced the underside of your jaw with his fingers, making your shiver inside and your eyes closed on a sigh.  When his lips connected with yours, it was electric!  The world shifted.  Colors, tastes, sensations, all redefined from that moment.  Soft and warm and connected on a level that could only come from love. 
     It was everything you’d ever dreamt his kiss could be, and it ended far too quickly.
     He rested his forehead against yours, puffs of white, heated breath mingling between you.  After a few minutes, he brushed the tears from your cheeks with his thumb, “Don’t cry, Sweetheart.  It breaks my heart when you cry.”
     “Don’t send me away.  Please don’t send me away.”
     “Baby, that bunker is no place for you.  There are no windows, the ventilation is crap, there’s a mildew problem.  I talked to those doctors about the type of environment an asthmatic should live in… Bomb shelter from the fifties didn’t make the cut.”
     “I’ve been living there for five years without an issue,” you pointed out.
     “Yeah, with a humidifier and inhalers.  But it’s different now, that round of pneumonia damaged your lungs.  You need to be someplace where its easier to breathe, not harder.”
     “You’re right.  Which is why Sam and I have been designing a new HVAC system.”
     That stopped him, “Really?  Why didn’t you guys tell me?”
     “Because you went all emo and hid in your room for a month.”
     “I’m not emo!  What kind of HVAC system?”
     “A kick ass one,” you grinned so that your tongue peeked out between your teeth.  “Any other concerns?”
     “What about hunting?” he challenged.
     “I don’t know,” you answered honestly and there was a pang of longing that went with it.  “I have no idea if I’ll ever get back to the physical condition I was before all of this.  No matter how hard I work for it or wish for it and the truth is… going into the field with that kind of a handicap is not in the cards.”
     Dean nodded grimly and dropped his gaze to his lap.  Admitting the possibility of an early retirement was killing you, and he knew it.  You loved hunting, it was as much a part of you as it was for him.  The uncertainty of not knowing if you could do it again, must be terrifying for you.
     “I’m sorry.”
     “I’m not.”  His head shot up and you shrugged, “Most hunters don’t get sidelined, they get killed.  My life might not look they way I thought it was going to, but I’m still here.  Living it.  I’m going to take that win and run with it.”
     “You’re amazing, you know that?  You’re so damn strong… your life got turned upside down and you just roll with it.”  Those impossibly green eyes looked at you with such awe, like he couldn’t quiet believe that you actually existed. 
     “You deserve the best, and that’s not me.”
     “That’s not for you to say.”
     “Doesn’t matter, it’s my choice.”
     “That’s where you’re wrong,” you lifted your chin in proud defiance, “Team Freewill, right?  I will always have a choice, no matter what hand you try to deal me.  I love you, Dean Winchester!  And I am never going to stop.  And I am never going to disappear from your life.  Even if you tell me to hit the bricks, I’ll still call and text and email and whatever just to make sure you’re still alive and well.  Even if this ends, I will still love you!  You ridiculous man!”
     There was a change in his gaze, subtle but there all the same.  He shook his head with a chuckle.  He knew when he was beat, and he was grateful for it.
     “Your cheeks turn the prettiest shade of pink when you get all worked up, you know that?”
     “My cheeks are pink because it’s freezing out here!”
     Dean ripped his coat off and wrapped it over yours, “Damn it, Y/N!  I knew you were cold!”
     “Well, if you were any kind of a boyfriend, you’d take my back to the car and warm me up properly!”
     He was pulling the hood up over your head when he paused, “Boyfriend, huh?”
     “Yeah, the kind that warms his girl up in the backseat,” you grinned and playfully rubbed your nose against his.
     He growled in your ear and stood, sweeping you up in his arms and making you yelp in delight. 
     “Dean!  I can still walk, you know!”
     “Save your energy, Sweetheart, you’re gonna need it.  Tonight, we’re gonna fog up all the windows!”
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stokofsky · 2 months
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Runners part 5
The Runner fired right up, thrusting off the ground. B-111 angled them straight upwards and slammed the throttle open immediately. Behind him, K-3NT actually yelped in surprise. B-111 was pleased at the acceleration The Runner pulled. He’d guessed the TIE/sa wasn’t pushed to its maximum. Not for the first time in his operational lifespan, he was glad to not be filled with sloshing, pressurized bodily fluids. With a droid pilot the ship's limit was always its mechanic. And since B-111 was that mechanic, the limits were certain to be few. It also helped that the space-chassis, the ion engines, and the sunlight drive systems were all factory fresh. It was the closest to brand new he’d flown in a very, very long time, but this, B-111 was sure, was a minor detail at best.  He wondered how it would compare to his ill fated Rogue-class. 
“Hold onto something,” B-111 said as they exited Cymoon 1’s atmosphere, “I’m pulling some maneuvers.”
“What? Why? Can’t we just make a jump?”
“Don’t worry, I’m an old hand at this.” 
“Didn’t the CIS operate starfighters with their own droid brains? When would you have ever-”
B-111 throttled down and pulled max pitch. The Runner practically spun on the spot. K-3NT fell from his chair, bounced off the ceiling, and then the back wall.. B-111 leveled out immediately and looked over his back rest. “Enty? Are you alright?”
K-3NT was jumbled in a heap on the floor, arms crossed glaring at B-111. “One-eleven you did not give me time to fasten my safety harness.”
“But you knew we were leaving the gravity field, why didn’t you buckle up right away?”
“Don’t you make this my fault!” K-3NT got up and slunk back into his seat, clipping the belts of his safety harness into the buckle. “I’m used to maintaining artificial gravity! And to any kind of decorum from the pilot operating the star craft I am in! Maximum throttle? At a sudden 90 degree from horizon vector!?”
“Well this isn’t a shuttle, is it? It’s a star fighter!”
“It’s a bomber! Which is almost the same as a shuttle!”
“One,” B-111 held up one finger, “it’s not a bomber, it’s the Runner. Two,” he held up a second finger, “A shuttle isn’t even the same as a gunship in handling dynamics, let alone a fighter/bomber like this used to be. Now pipe down back there,” He turned forwards again and looked down to his control panel, “I’m plotting our first jump. Time to find out if you should have been the one to install the hyperdrive after all.” K-3NT began to protest again, it was predictable, and it was hilarious.
With his route programmed, B-111 throttled up and pulled a lever. A high pitched whirr came from his left and the stars speckled throughout his field of view stretched out into white lines for a single instant. They entered hyperspace. B-111 relaxed in his chair just a fraction. He’d been sure it would work, but maybe not that sure.
K-3NT leaned over B-111s shoulder. “Where are you taking us?”
“We’re going to Coruscant. Get comfortable, Enty, it will probably take close to an hour to get there.”
“Coruscant? A couple of outlaws… right to the capitol of law and order?”
“A warrior walks amongst his enemies without fear or falter. Besides, with trillions of organic inhabitants, and an average of at least one droid per-two organics, we will be two drops in an ocean!”
“Two drops of oil, maybe.” 
“Whats that supposed to mean?”
“Have you seen yourself? You aren’t exactly understated, are you?”
“Who’s got the bright red finish?”
“My Tskad-blood red finish is standard! Whereas I don’t think there is a single thing about you left thats standard.”
“Have you ever been to coruscant?” K-3NT was silent. “You really haven’t?”
“Its a big Galaxy. I was flying a shuttle around a lot of it, business never took me that way…”
B-111 was quiet for a moment, considering what it must have been like, born for glorious combat, yet locked in so dull and pedestrian a purpose. “Well,” he said eventually, looking out the viewport at the whirring white-blue blur of hyperspace, “theres a first time for everything. A warrior faces new challenges with courage and determination. That is the Path.”
For a short time they both sat looking out the viewport, saying nothing. B-111 had always found hyperspace mesmerizing, from the very first time he’d seen it when his division had fled Naboo, to today. He looked out at it and he wondered what it would feel like, what perception would be were he to exist within hyperspace rather than ordinary space.
“So-” K-3NT interrupted his line of thought, “as long as we’re waiting, were you ever going to tell me anything about this warriors path you’re always banging on about?”
B-111 waited a moment to not seem too excited. “Do you wish to walk the Warriors Path? It takes conviction.”
“Yes, well, I suppose I do want to walk it.”
“You must be courageous.”
“I calculate a greater than 80% probability that I will be courageous.”
B-111 groaned, shaking his head. He’d have to work with what he had. He’d been the one who switched K-3NT back on in the first place, after all. “Very well. Your first lesson is patience. A Warrior can wait days at a time for the opportune moment to strike, can bear any chiding or bait, and does not rail on a comrade for their mistakes.”
“That is straight forwards. I am very patient, its the kind of thing I was made to be.”
“Good! So you’ll have no trouble sitting quietly throughout the rest of this hyperjump?”
B-111 waited for a response. None came. He turned and looked over his shoulder. K-3NT was sitting, back straight, arms crossed, looking off to one side. Hmm. He was sulking, but he was doing it patiently.
“Now, let’s begin your first lesson…”
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The Lonely Journal Keeper
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zodiakuroo · 3 years
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Love Thy Brother
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Pairing: Dabi x Fem!Reader
Content: 18+ dubcon/noncon, dabi’s canononical dick piercings  manhandling, rough sex, corruption, degradation, humiliation, manipulation, blackmail, spit, stepcest, loss of virginity, dacryphilia, mentioned breeding, blasphemy and sacrilege : 3
Word count: 4.1k
Notes: secured my spot in hell with this one for sure anyways touya-nii go brrrrr
part 2 here!
But he that hates his brother is in darkness, and walks in darkness, and knows not whither he goes, because that darkness hath blinded his eyes. – 1 John 2:11
Gaining 4 new siblings as a young adult is not something anyone expects, you think, but you’re grateful to have been accepted into Enji Todoroki’s family nonetheless.
Fuyumi was the big sister you always wanted, kind and nurturing, always happy to let you borrow her clothes and give you advice. You and Natsuo the closest in age.  He was warm and friendly and while he teased you a lot it was never mean spirited, just the kind that was typical between siblings. Shoto was quiet in nature and though it took him more time than the rest to warm up to you, eventually you two became friends as well.
And there was Touya…..
Well, Dabi as he prefers to be called.
When you first met him, you were terrified, the shock of seeing him made you hide behind your mother instinctively.  The Todoroki clan looked every bit the perfect suburban family except for Dabi. He had his hair dyed jet black, with seemingly more tattoos than clean skin. He had several cartilage piercings in his ears as well as three small studs in his nostril and a barbell through his eyebrow.  He scoffed at your scared reaction, sticking out his tongue to show you the silver ball on its surface and sending a wink your way.
Admittedly, felt guilty for judging Dabi based on his appearance, but you would soon come to find that sometimes it’s better to trust your judgement.
At first, Dabi ignored you, acted as if you didn’t exist. And the times when he was forced to acknowledge your presence in his family he acted as though you were nothing more than a nuisance. You thought that you might have offended him somehow but Fuyumi assured you that Dabi was just like that and that you shouldn’t take it personally. “He just needs to get to know you.” She said.
She was wrong though. Dabi couldn’t stand you.
Everything about you infuriates him. Prancing around in those frumpy sweaters and modest skirts like anyone would bother to lewd you anyways. Lest they attempt, you wear that gold cross necklace everywhere you like a big old “PROPERTY OF JESUS” tag. Your insistence to say a prayer every time the family dog so much as farts. The way his entire family seems to be enamored by your church girl act. Perhaps what he hates most is the way you look at him, poor delinquent Dabi, like you’re so much better than him. Sanctimonious bitch.
Then he noticed how you were with Natsuo. How you would pout and whine when he teased you and sometimes, to everyone’s shock and amusement, banter back and forth with him. Let’s be clear here, he didn’t care about you. He cared about attention. You were giving too much of your attention to his younger brother and that just wouldn’t do.
Pretty soon, Touya was in on the teasing. He started out by making fun of you for being so conservative. Low-hanging fruit. You’ve heard it all before so it didn’t wrench much of a reaction for you but that just made him more determined. Sometimes it got downright mean, earning him a scolding from Fuyumi. Not that he would listen anyways
Then it got physical. It started innocently enough, Dabi would tug on your hair, snatch food out of your hands, kick you underneath the dinner table. Albeit childish, it was incredibly annoying. You would shriek and yell for him to cut it out and after finally getting the desired reaction from you, he became hungry for more.
So he started taking more risks. When you were in the kitchen alone Dabi would brush his hand under your skirt making you squeal. That progressed to him flicking up your skirt to catch a glimpse of your panties which progressed to him spanking you so hard, you’d think of him every time you sat down for the rest of the day.
On the days when he was in a good mood (read: stoned out of his mind), he would pull you into his lap and hold you there, blowing smoke in your face that made you cough so that he could laugh. Sometimes he would let his hands wander, over your chest and between your thighs while you squirm in his hold. He’d say “Anyone ever touch you like this? I hope not, I’m sure it would piss off Jesus”
As if the touching wasn’t invasive enough, Dabi felt he was entitled to your room and personal artifacts. Often you’d come back from campus or church to find the contents of your underwear drawer spilled on the floor. You would notice a pair or two missing when you packed them back.
One time he vandalised your bible with drawings of penises on every single page.
“D’ya like my artwork princess?” he said when you confronted him. In a fit of rage, threw the book at his head. You missed (unfortunately) making him like laugh. “Surely there’s something condemning violence in that book of yours.”
You tried locking him out of your room but all that did was make him angrier. He threated to break your door clean off its hinges if you did it again.
Which brings you to your current predicament.
It had been a long day. You woke up late landing you in trouble with your manager. Your coworker fell ill and you had to cover a double shift, with no shortage of asshole customers on this particular day it seems. On top of all that, you just got stood up for date. You come home to a quiet house and you’re so grateful for this small blessing on a day like this. After a long, scalding hot shower, you lie on your bed wrapped in a fluffy, white towel, contemplating your next move.
You were home alone and with a family this big that hardly ever happens. You do what any person would do after having the day you had.
You smile to yourself, undoing the knot on your towel and falling back onto your pillows, hands already caressing your breasts.
You’re a Christian not a robot. Of course you masturbate. Sure you feel ashamed. You can hear your mother’s voice chide about how sinful it is but that all melts away when your little fingers slide between your wet folds. Shame can wait.
Being the menace in your life that he is, the eldest Todoroki chose that exact moment to barge into your room unannounced.
You scramble for your covers trying your best to preserve some modesty but it’s too late, you’ve been caught. You shriek in terror.
“Oh my god!” Dabi practically cackles.
“Dabi! It’s not what it looks like I swear.”
“Oh really?” He stalks over to your bed with the predatory grin on his face. “Because to me it looks like my innocent, holier than though baby sister is a nasty, little, closet pervert.” He’s now straddling you over your covers, you want to fight him off but that would mean letting go over your duvet and you know once you do that, it’s over. Dabi has the upper hand though. Soon he’s got both of your wrists in one of his hands, pinned above your head. His other hand, almost immediately, is pulling the down the covers, revealing your naked torso to him. “Huh.’ He muses as he palms one of your breasts. “Seems like it’s exactly what it looks like.”
“Dabi! Get off me!” You squirm under him but he’s too heavy so it’s no use.
“Nice tits Sis.” Dabi ignores your protests. “I don’t get why you keep them hidden.”
“I’m not your sister you creep!” you say with as much venom as you can muster.
“Aw princess,” he pouts and moves his hand up to cup your jaw, squeezing your cheeks harshly “it hurts your Nii-san’s feelings when you talk to him like that. I wonder what our parents would think. Should I tell them how filthy their sweet, little daughter really is?”
He revels in the fear in your eyes. You shake your head frantically. “No Dabi please! Please don’t tell them.” You whimper, words garbled.
“Don’t tell them what little sister? What were you doing?” He smirks. His hand goes back to your breast, this time to tweak your nipple.
The sadistic freak. Was he really going to make you say it? He answers your silent question with a sharp smack to your breast.
“I-I was masturbating.” You mumble, squeezing your eyes shut, cheeks burning from embarrassment.
“No, you weren’t”  he says as a matter of fact before pinching your already stiff nipple making your eyes shoot open and you yelp in pain. “You were playing with your little virgin cunt. Now say it.”
There is no way you could say those words. Has he not humiliated you enough? You try once again to break free but he’s got an iron grip on your wrists and he’s sitting on top of your thighs. There’s no way you’re getting out of this.
He pinches you again but harder this time, twisting your nipple and keeping it there.
“I was ah­ I was playing with my v-v-irgin c- Dabi! Cunt! There I said it! Let go!”
He snickers at your pain but let’s go of you entirely, shifting his weight off of you. You’re grateful for the reprieve, immediately pulling up the covers to cover up your body again. You will yourself not to cry until Dabi has left the room or else you’ll never hear the end of it. But he’s not finished with you yet.
“Show me.” He sits down on your desk chair facing you, his legs spread wide.
“What?” Surely you misheard him.
“Show your Nii-san how you play with that ‘little virgin cunt’” He smiles using air quotations.
“Dabi, this is wrong-“ you whimper
“Touya-nii.” You furrow your brows in confusion and he says again. “Call me Touya-nii. I’m not leaving this room until I see what I want.”
Say what you want about Dabi but he’s a man of his word. You know he means what he says. The last thing you want is for anyone in your family to come home and find you naked in your room with your step-brother. It’s just better to do what he asks demands.
You slowly peel the covers off you, exposing your naked body to your step brother. He’s eyeing you intently, palming the growing bulge under his jeans. His sister was hiding such a hot little body, right under his roof and he had no idea. You can’t bear to look at him. You clamp your thighs shut to hide your pussy from him, a weak attempt to save what’s left of your dignity. You wriggle your hand in between your legs and you try to move it as best you can without showing him more of you.
Wait.
You’re wet?
You’re wet.
Well screw dignity I guess.
“Oh none of that.” Touya scoffs. “Spread your legs.”
You obey him and he rewards you with a low whistle. “What a cute little pussy.” He murmurs so low you’re not even sure he’s talking to you. You flinch, wanting to close your legs on instinct but a firm “Don’t” from Dabi stops you in your tracks. “Show me how my little sister likes to play.”
His words make your pussy throb but you’re still reeling, both physically and mentally at, the shock from your current position so when your fingers try to rub circles on your clit, they’re shaky and sloppy.
“That’s pathetic. Is this how you do it? No wonder you’re so uptight, you probably never cum huh? Put your fingers inside, I wanna see you stretch your little hole.”
“Dabi I-“
“I won’t ask you to address me properly again. Next time, you’re getting your ass beat.”
“T-Touya-nii. I’ve never… put them inside.” You mumble.
“Never?” He can’t hide the amusement in his voice.
You simply shake your head, unable to meet his gaze.
Fucking jackpot. He thinks.  This is why he loves virgins.
“Oh no. Does the poor baby want her Nii-san to show her how it’s done?” voice dripping with condescension.
You’re horribly ashamed. Disgusted by the whole situation. And yet you find yourself nodding.
Dabi crawls on to your bed, discarding his shirt in the process. Next thing he has you flipped over, ass in the air, lying across his lap.
He spanks you, hard. Like he always does, loud smack echoing through the room. You cry out like you always do but it’s different this time. It’s different because this time you’re naked, on top of him. It’s different because you can feel his hard-on poking into your stomach. It’s different because everything about the situation is making you clench.
He grips the sore, reddened flesh and pulls apart your cheeks to look right at your fluttering hole. His thumb finds your clit and he starts to rub slow circles into it. “I meant what said you know. This is the prettiest fucking cunt I’ve ever seen.” You let out a whine as you feel his warm, wet spit land right on your opening, before Touya slides a long, slender middle finger into your tight pussy. He uses his other hand to hit you again. “You’re a good girl right? What do good girl’s say when they get compliments?”
Your head is spinning from his ministrations, so much so that a verbal response escapes you. You’re too busy bucking your hips against his hand. Dabi snaps you out of your trance with another spank, even harder, so your feel the sting spread across your glute. “Hnnghh… thank you Touya-nii.” He rewards you with his ring finger finding its way inside you as well. “Shit.” You say through gritted teeth. You clench around him trying to adjust to the foreign sensation.
Whack. This time on the other cheek, both burning red by now, you’re sure. “Where’d you learn to talk like that, naughty girl?” The way he’s moving his fingers inside you feels like he’s looking for something, you have no idea what. It’s not unpleasant but uncomfortable. You turn your head back to look at his face. It’s the same face he makes when he’s rolling a joint or playing video games with his friends. He’s concentrating. “Fuck, relax for me princess.” You’re trying. You’re really trying. You take a deep breath, trying to think about anything other than the way you’re being stretched.
Then it hits you. An overwhelming ecstasy, spreading from your groin, all the way down to your toes. You figure out that’s what he’s been looking for.
You find yourself grinding down onto his bulge in an attempt to escape the onslaught of his fingers, but it’s no use, not with the way his thumb is circling your throbbing clit.
“Can’t even take two fingers in this tiny pussy huh? How are you gonna take my cock?” Dabi gives you a third finger and the stretch is officially unbearable.
You can’t do anything but pant in his lap while he holds you down, making sure that you keep still. Suddenly, you realise the gravity of the circumstances you find yourself in. Your step brother is going to fuck you and there’s nothing you can do about it.
“God, please slow down!” You cry out. He keeps hitting that spot over and over. It’s too much. You look back at him with tears in your eyes, pleading for reprieve. The satisfied smile on his face lets you know that he couldn’t care less. You feel an orgasm building, stronger than any that you’ve given yourself.
“No God here, doll. Just the Almighty Dabi. And guess what? He wants you to come for him.”
Even before he finishes his sentence, you’re already convulsing on top of him. For a moment you forget how debauched the situation is. Being debased by a man who you not only despise but are related to. All feelings of shame are replaced by pure, hot bliss that sets your nerves on fire. Dabi does not relent. Not until the please you feel is eclipsed by the pain of oversensitivity and you’re writhing in futile attempt to escape.
Dabi pulls his fingers out of you and wraps his other hand around your neck, dragging you up to face him. He holds his fingers, covered in your cream, right in front of your face. “Messy slut. Clean them.”
Before you can respond the fingers press against your lips. You have no choice but to take them inside your mouth. He grips the back of your head while you lave your tongue over his fingers, sucking off your release. He’s keeps a tension on your strands that makes your scalp sting. It’s a silent warning to keep your eyes on him. You’ve caught on by now that he wants this to be as humiliating as possible for you. As if coming on your step-brother’s fingers weren’t humiliating enough. He shoves his fingers deeper, making you gag around them drool seeping from the corner of your mouth.
“Good girl.” He growls as he wipes his saliva covered fingers dry on your face. Again, you fight back the tears of embarrassment. You won’t give him the satisfaction.
Dabi prompts you with cruel tug on your hair. “Gah! Th-thank you Touya-nii.” You whimper.
“Hmm.” His hands move to your hips and he rolls his hips to grind his hard cock into your core. “You want Nii-san to fuck you now?”
Your bottom lip quivers. Is he giving you an out? You pray to God that Dabi is giving you a way out of this. You doubt God cares about what you want right now but still, you hope he can grant you this one mercy, you’ll make it up to him somehow. You shake your head no. You probably look so pitiful right now, naked on top of Touya while he bucks up against you, your own spit streaked across your face, barely stopping the tears in your eyes from spilling.
“Liar.” He sneers. “You want your big brother to split that virgin hole right open.”
You’re stupid for thinking he would give you a way out. You realise that now. No point in trying not to cry. Nothing is gonna stop him from getting what he wants anyway. You can’t hold back the choked sobs anymore
“Such pretty tears, baby.” Dabi coos at you. “Don’t worry. Nii-san is gonna give you exactly what you want.”
He picks you up off of him and positions you exactly how he wants, on all fours, swollen cunt exposed for him. He kneels behind you and you hear the sounds of him undoing his jeans. You turn your head back, curiosity getting the better of you. Your eyes find Dabi just in time to see him free himself from his boxers, which join his jeans bunched at is knees. The sight makes your eyes go wide. It’s your first time seeing one in real life. Were they supposed to be that big? And… pierced?
He quirks a brow at you, smug look plastered on his face. He strokes himself in front of you, spreading his pre-cum along his shaft. He’s tilts it upwards to make sure you get a good look at the vertical barbell that goes through his tip and three horizontal, parallel bars along the underside. “You look scared. Don’t worry princess, Big brother Dabi’s gonna make it fit.” You feel his tip press against your opening and brace yourself.
You’ve heard stories from your friends. You know the first time hurts but God nothing could have prepared you for this .Touya makes good on his word, sliding his entirely until your pressed right against his pelvis. The scream you let out is ear shattering but you can’t help it, the stretch is excruciating. The way his piercings catch on your walls only, intensifies the burn. You crawl toward your headboard instinctively, it’s too much. Way too much.
He’s not having any of it. Dabi pulls you up to him with a hand wrapped around your throat until your back meets his front. “Shh shh shh. Don’t run baby. You’re gonna take all of it.” He groans right against your ear. Without giving you time to adjust, he begins to thrust into you at a relentless pace. You have no choice but to let him use you.
“Who’s fucking you huh? Who’s making you feel good?”
“My nii-san. Touya-nii is fucking me so good.”
“Yeah fuck. Love this holy pussy” He delivers a harsh smack directly on to your clit, making you quiver in his hold. He laughs at your reaction. “Gonna say a prayer for me babe? I wanna hear it.”
“Huh?” You’re barely lucid, there’s no way you heard him correctly.
“Well you’re a little sinner slut now. You should probably ask for forgiveness. Pray.”
You’re sure you’re beyond salvation now but you submit nonetheless. “Have mercy on me, O God, according to Your unfailing love; according to Your great compassion.” You gasp as he tightens his hand around your throat. “Against You, have I sinned and done what is evil in Your sight. Oh fuck Touya-nii!”
“Bad girl.” Dabi gives you another strike right on your aching clit. “Don’t think God is gonna be very happy with you.” Dabi is though. Dabi’s very happy with you. Your tight, gummy pussy sucks him back in every time he pulls back. It just makes him fuck you harder, he wants to make you scream louder for him.
“Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Ngggghh Shit. Do not cast me from Your presence or take Your Holy Spirit from me.” You’re sobbing outright, gasping to get air into your constricted throat.
“You gonna cum? My bad girl gonna come for her big brother?” Dabi grunts into your ear.
“Yeah close Touya-nii.”
“Hmm me too.”
“NOT INSIDE TOUYA-NII” You begin to thrash in his arms.
“S’matter princess? Don’t wanna have your big brother’s babies? That’s hurtful.” He snickers. He releases your throat in favour of pressing you into the mattress, large hand resting between your shoulder blades. “Better cum before I do then.”
The ridges of his piercings rub up against that same sweet spot, over and over again. You’re dizzy from the lack of air and absolutely drunk with pleasure on his cock. Pretty much the only thing tethering you to this existence is the unforgiving grip he has on your ass, digging his nails into your flesh. He reaches his hand around to rub your sore, puffy clit. It pushes you over the edge a second time. You feel every muscle contract and relax as the waves of your orgasm wash over you, making you cry out in bliss.
As soon as you come down from your high, Dabi has you flipped on to your back and is straddling your torso. “Keep praying.” He mutters. He furrows his brows, huffing as he jerks off on top of you, eyes focused intently on your gold necklace.
“Restore to me the joy of Your salvation and grant me a willing spirit to sustain me. Then will I teach transgressors Your ways, and sinners will turn back to You. Amen”
“Yeah, fuck that’s it take it baby.” Dabi sprays his come over your chest, aiming his load right on your cross, a symbol of your devotion to Christ, defiled. He looks absolutely euphoric watching the ropes of his hot cum slowly run down onto your nipples and down the valley of your breasts
“Don’t you fucking move.” He pants, catching his breath. He picks up his phone and you hear his camera click. He looks at the picture and smiles. You look absolutely fucked out. Hair disheveled, face red and bloated from crying and completely covered in his load. Yeah a real good, Christian girl. He thinks.
“Dabi! No!” You lunge forward, trying to grab his phone from his hand. Almost effortlessly, Touya shoves you back onto the bed.
“Relax. No one’s gonna see it. Not unless you snitch to mommy and daddy.”
“You promise?” You grab the tissues from your nightstand and wipe yourself clean. The smell lingers though, along with the grimy feeling, seemingly embedded in your skin. You look up at him, sniffling, tears still rolling down your cheeks. If he were better person, he’d take pity on you for being so fucking stupid.
“Promise, little sis.” He shoots you a wink as he tucks himself back into his jeans.
Before he’s left your room he’s already sent the picture to his friend, Shigaraki.
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mailboxmerchant · 3 years
Text
winning!Ranmaru Kageyama x Reader: What Have You Done?!
a/n: i just finished the most recent installment in yttd andn holy fuck,,,,,,winner! ranmaru just. holy shit! i love him so much. (also i guess you sort of take saras place? like shes there but youre ranmarus buddy instead and uhh hc that she got joe’s doll for a partner because i love thme) hgnghgh)\
also please leave requests!!! please!!!! for almost any character from almst any fandom!!!!!! please!!!!!!
also this is....a long one. probably gonna be a two parter! <3
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“I’ll hold him back, just go! Reko...she....she’s-” 
Watching with the others in the classroom as Kurumada held Ranmaru to the ground by his head, you looked down at Ranmaru’s pleading expression. 
Before you could reach for him though, you were quickly ushered out by your panicked friends and allies.
Ranmaru....what did you...
◤...three hours prior to this...◢
“Keiji! I’m here! Please come out, everyone is so worried!”
“y/n....”
“Are you...there Keiji?”
A hand that clamped around your shoulder sent you into shock as you sprawled forward to the ground. “Waugh!!! Wh-who!?!?” You whipped yourself around to face a concerned looking Ranmaru.
“Heya y/n.” He said with a smirk and a wave. “Gah! Ranmaru, you scared me...!”
“Clearly.” He smiled as he offered a hand out to you. You gave him a pleased smile as you took his hand. “So....Keiji was a no-show, huh?” 
“I mean, Sara was too worried to go alone so I offered to go in her place...but it looks like we should have followed Keiji’s instructions, huh?” You laughed dejectedly, as the missing friendly policeman’s absence was beginning to create a deep worry in the back of your mind. 
The expression on your face seemed to clearly resemble your disappointment of not finding him, as a pair of fingers snapped out in front of you. 
“Heeey? Earth to y/n, I asked you a question. You alright?” 
You gave a curt, polite nod. “Sorry, yeah, what did you say again?”
Ranmaru sighed as he patted your back, “Man, you’re a mess today, eh? I asked....ᶦᶠ ʸᵒᵘ ᵍᵃᵛᵉ ᵃⁿʸ ᵗʰᵒᵘᵍʰᵗ ᵗᵒ ʷʰᵃᵗ ᴹᵃᵖˡᵉ ˢᵃᶦᵈ....” The last part was quietly spoken, but you heard what he said, and you knew what he meant.
“What!? You mean about what she about....winning?” Ranmaru’s uneasy expression meant that was exactly what he was talking about. 
“We can’t! E-everyone has been...working so hard together, and with you all as our new allies-” “They’re not all your allies. We were made to get rid of you humans, but Maple told me something the rest of them don’t know. Why won’t you let me act on it?! I can save us, save you!”
“That’s enough! I can’t...hear you say that. Not you, Ranmaru, please.” 
“You wouldn’t have to do anything, y/n, I swore I’d protect you. Reko, Sara, Keiji, everyone! I’ll kill them, and I’ll get you out of this horrible game!”
As if the idea of winning crossing Ranmaru’s mind at all hadn’t hurt enough to hear about, here was your partner for this entire floor’s length of horrors telling you he’d kill all your allies to save the both of you.
Ranmaru wasn’t wrong. You were tired. You wanted to go home. You missed your friends, and your regular old life. You adored Ranmaru, and even without knowing what to do after this could end, you wanted to have him by your side.
What am I thinking?!
“Ranmaru! I don’t want you to protect me. I want us to all escape together, and I could never ask you to betray our allies!”
Something about the way you delivered that line stuck with Ranmaru though. You couldn’t ask him? Then you didn’t have to. He’d help you, and he’d take all the responsibility too. All the guilt, the hardships, the terror? He could handle it...if it was for you. You and him were going to win, and you were going to live. And after all his efforts, maybe, just maybe, you could be his.
And with the seeds sown, Ranmaru’s mind began racing with ways to get every single human and doll eliminated before they could realize what was going on. 
And that would begin with the lovely, unknowing Ms. Reko.
◤...present time...◢
“Oh...no....” Sara uttered, her breath entirely taken away from the sight before us.
The magnetic trap mechanism in the locker room had been activated while Reko was in it. “Reko, please, no...holy shit...” Q-taro mourned. Her grotesquely snapped neck was just barely holding her entirely hanging body to the ceiling by her collar.
Everyone was whispering their words of loss and grief. You couldn’t speak though. You instantly made the connection between Kuramada tackling Ranmaru and what he had said about getting here quickly. This was preventable. And actually....
This was your fault.
Ranmaru wanted you to win, and he wanted you to take him with you. You didn’t chastise him enough to stop this, and now Reko’s blood and tears were on your hands. 
The quiet stip-step of shoes tapping on the concrete floor sprung you from your remorseful daze. “y-y/n...I swear...I didn’t-” 
A louder, heavier pair of feet could be heard hitting the solid ground harshly. 
“Bastard! You’ll pay for what you’ve done!! My trust, their trust, you’ve ruined everything!” Kurumada went in for a swing as Ranmaru barely dodged him, bumping his backside into your front.
“NO! It wasn’t me! I wasn’t even anywhere near this room, I was with y/n!” 
“That was a whole goddamn hour ago, you lying piece a’ shit! You woulda been in the control room well after that!”
“Why would I kill Reko?! I had no motive to kill the humans, our tasks were erased and our connections were cut! I would never-”
“Bullshit. No motive? What was all that crap about winning for, then?”
Ranmaru fell silent.
“You...you thought I was dead. And you thought you could leave the transceiver on and cheer yourself on for winning the game, huh?!”
Ranmaru’s silence persisted, your stomach dropping further than you thought possible. 
He took a slow inhale...
“Yeah. I did think you were dead, but now I see you’re just as big of an obstacle as ever. All you damn dolls. I’ll get rid of you all, and y/n and I are gonna win.”
“Ranmaru...”
“I didn’t think I’d get caught on the first try, I mean geez! I really hoped it’d be easier than this, that I could be stealthy, but apparently not...” 
It was like his entire demeanor changed. His usual hesitance to speak, his more crouched and small frame, and his kind meekness were all completely stripped away, replaced by this malicious, devious darkness that seemed to emanate off his body.
“Well, well! Somethin’ fun’s happening in here, amirite?!”
“M-Midori!?” You cried out as his arm creepily slung around your shoulder. You backed away as Ranmaru stayed staring him down. “Ohh, what perfect timing. Midori...I have a deal for you, something to keep this game interesting.” Ranmaru sounded like a perfect copy of Midori, it was beginning to frighten you. Reko’s body still left all the survivors in shock, no one but the three dolls who were as lively as ever being able to speak.
“ ᴿᵃⁿᵐᵃʳᵘ...ᵖˡᵉᵃˢᵉ, ᵈᵒⁿ'ᵗ...“ You finally uttered. 
“What might this deal be, my pathetic doll?” Scoffing at his comment, Ranmaru pleads with him, “If you could just please...kill the dolls. Leave me as the sole doll and I swear I’ll give you a show you’ll never forget.” You weren’t sure what made you sicker, the grin that was spread across both Ranmaru’s and Midori’s faces, or the dark tone Ranmaru suddenly took, his genuineness shining through. He would kill every survivor. You might really win, and you still didn’t know what to think about it. 
The tension in the room was so thick you could slice through it with a knife. Everyone's eyes were trained on you, Ranmaru, and Midori. You felt sick, the energy of the room suffocating you slowly.
"I think I could do something like that."
As if it couldn't drop any lower, your organs practically just disappeared from inside you. "H-hey, you're not...serious, are ya?" Q-taro finally spoke up, the first of the survivors to actually something.
"Why wouldn't I be? This deal is of great benefit to me....and y/n it seems." Midori's tucked in smile sent shivers down your spine as he stared at you with his widened eyes.
"First though...the banquet has to happen."
The reminder brought the most sincere relief you'd ever felt in your life. You still had time to convince Ranmaru not to go through with his ridiculous sabotage plan.
The room calmed as everyone slowly and hesitantly made their way back to the graveyard. How was anyone supposed to work together after something like that...?
◤...to be continued (eventually)...◢
I HAD TO END THIS BECAUSE I WAS SLOWLY FORGETTING WHERE I WAS GOING WITh thIS SO ILL START WITH THE BANQUET IN THE NEXT PART TY FOR READING PLEASE REQUESTS MWAH ILY BYE BYE<3
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jordanstrophe · 3 years
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Hello awesome writer, Ive asked before (the abusive relationship prompt ) and you've delivered in less than 6 hours and it was immaculate! My friend you're an angel. 💛
Also can I ask this time for the ol' overworking thing? you know whumpee being stubborn to get their work done and exhausting themselves in the process .
Caretaker tries their best to convince whumpee to get some rest taking in their zombie-like state , but to no avail until whumpee collapses from exhausting and now caretaker takes matters in their hands helping them recover.
Yup, I'm just that classic!
Hello awesome anon! Thank you, I LOVE these!  And wow, 6 hours? I gotta be faster! ─=≡Σ((((╯°□°)╯
CW: exhaustion, collapsed, overworked, stern caretaker 
The night stuck as everyone turned in for the day. That is, all but one, who sat staring with determination at the scattered paperwork on the desk and two open laptops.
"Hey, you need to set this aside for tomorrow. You look exhausted." Caretaker commented, trying to pack up Whumpee's papers.
"No no no, I'm almost finished." They mumbled, quickly snatching the papers back possessively. "Whumpee, you've been overworking yourself lately. Please, get some rest." They gently touched their hand, sneakily trying to take the pen away from them. "Hey, shouldn't you be heading home as well?" They chuckled.
"Well yeees, but I'm not leaving until I know you're going to be alright. You have to take care of yourself." They tapped their finger on the paper Whumpee was hunched over, slowly trying to pull it away from them. "I'll rest as soon as this one paper is done, I promise." They tugged the paper back while blinked tiredly with a smile.
A fake smile.
Caretaker was skeptical, but knew it was pointless to argue with a determined Whumpee. "Alright then, I'll see you tomorrow." And with that, they left them to their work. Whumpee sighed as they slumped down in the chair, their hands digging in their hair as their eyes traced the mess of papers.
Maybe they could just get a couple more done?
-
That morning, Caretaker came in early knowing Whumpee probably left a mess of the place in their exhausted state. They flicked the light on, their bags instantly dropping to the floor along with their jaw.
"What on earth do you think you're still doing here!?" Caretaker shouted, frightening Whumpee awake with a jolt. "H-huh? Wh-... Is-t that ti-time al-.. re.." Whumpee couldn't even finish their sentence as their head fell slack, the pen in their hand dropping to the floor.
"Na ah! None of that, get up!" Caretaker scolded, shaking their shoulders until an eye cracked open. Their hair was a mess and they were still wearing the same clothes as last night. Dark circles lined their eyes as they could hardly keep even one of them open.
"Whumpee! You... You said you were going to rest! Did you even go home last night?" They accused. Whumpee just mumbled incoherently in response, their chest slowly leaning forwards until they fell off the chair. Caretaker gasped as they dove under them, catching them in their arms before they could hit the floor.
They let out a disbelieved sigh, cradling them in their arms as they ran their fingers through their tangled hair. "What am I going to do with you?" They mumbled. They hugged them in their arms one last time, before lifting them from the floor.
-
Whumpee awoke to the sound of humming filling the air. Their eyes felt swollen shut, they were light headed and exhausted. They felt something holding their hand, they tried to squeeze it back but they couldn't even move a finger.
" mm... mm?" They groaned, turning their head to the side. The humming stopped, then a loud click of a door spiked through their ears, causing a wince.
"Heey, we're home." a quiet voice whispered. An arm wrapped underneath their elbow, pulling them from the car seat. Their feet instantly felt numb and heavy as soon as it touched the gravel. They took a slow shallow breath, breathing fresh air for the first time in a while.
"wh-.. am I?" they mumbled, turning their head to the side until it hit Caretaker's shoulder. "You're home, Whumpee. Hang in there." Caretaker hoisted them higher, half dragging them through the front door. They eventually wrapped their free arm around their back, grasping their hand as they helped them get steadied.
"Just a couple more steps, there you go." Caretaker encouraged, going their pace as their feet barely made it inside. "Alright, now just... Fall back. I've got you."
"w-wait what?" They asked, their eyes finally got motivation to open, but not before Caretaker's support dropped, causing them to fall back on a couch behind them. They jolted with a gasp, their hand shooting out to desperately grip Caretaker's wrists. "Easy, you're alright." Caretaker chuckled, kneeling at their side while brushing their hair back.
A blanket was draped over them and they were leaned up as a pillow was placed underneath their head. They didn't have the energy to question anything, so they just curled up hugging the pillow and fell asleep.
"Rest well, Whumpee.” Caretaker smiled, cupping their cheek before letting them sleep.
Tag list: @grizzlie70  @alien-octopus @lave-whump @amethysts-sideblog  @whump-it-like-its-hot  @thingsthatgowhumpinthenight @yet-another-heathen @princessofonward @whatwhumpcomments  @ill-eat-you-if-you-cross-me @mascmasochist @hamiltonwhumpdump  @shokuhoemisaki @as-a-matter-of-whump @whumpasaurus101
o(^∀^*)o Thank you for reading!
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ppersonna · 4 years
Text
the landlord - myg | m
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↳ summary- your air conditioner breaks right at the height of a recordbreaking heat wave.  good thing your hot landlord, yoongi, knows how to attend to any needs you may have.
↳ rating- explicit / 18+
↳ word count- 4.3k
↳ pairing- yoongi x reader
↳ genre- smut, light crack, PWP
↳ warnings- basically the plot of a porn, theres no plot, the plot doesn’t make sense, seduction, oral sex (m/f receiving), penetrative sex, dirty talk, fun laughing giggly time during sex, honestly yoongi is great and i love him, maybe exhibitionism if u squint ???, cum sharing, finger sucking, motorboating
↳ a/n- did i just write basically the plotline of a bad porno? yes.  did i love it? also yes.  this was lowkey inspired by my own landlord coming over to my place (that i DIDNT SLEEP WITH) and i answered the door in a state of undress :/ i hate myself lol.  anywwayyss! enjoy yoongi the landlord!  pls feel free to interact with me because i need constant attention uwu
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The inside of your apartment feels hotter than the blazing sun outside.  Your air conditioner chose the worst week to fritz on you. A record-breaking heat wave.
Nothing helps.  You open windows, blow fans, sit in front of your fridge, take cold showers. All just momentary bliss that ends too soon.
It finally breaks you and you muster up the courage to text your landlord, Yoongi.  
You inhale a deep breath as you click on the name. Min Yoongi, landlord.  Your eyes flutter shut for a moment without realizing.
Your landlord who lives in the same building as you is likely the hottest and most attractive man you’ve ever met. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t have a crush on the man. Every month, paying rent was torture. You wanted to fling your legs open to him and request he takes his payment another way.
But you never did. He always remained cool and expressionless and it was hard to get a read on the man, let alone see if he’s interested.
Your fingers slide across the keys, nibbling at your lip as you decide what to say.
[to: yoongi] hi! sorry to bother you but my ac appears to have died and im afraid ill be next at the rate of his heat wave 😩 no rush but id appreciate help!
Perfect. Simple, slightly cutesy. Emoji to express how chill you are.
Your phone vibrates almost instantly and a smile curves on your face.
[to: me] oh no, we can’t have that. haunted apartments are hard to rent out 😉 im out until late tonight but i can stop by first thing in the morning if that’s cool?
A flirty line? Is this… working?
[to: yoongi] tomorrow is great! and don’t worry, if i die i won’t haunt this apartment, i’ll haunt yours 😌
[to: me] see you tomorrow, poltergeist 👻
You’re leaping through the air at the idea of the hot landlord semi-flirting with you over text when you notice your apartment. It’s disgusting. Your face burns red and you instantly work on the space before Yoongi comes over. He can't see you like this.
Sleep is out of the question. After your ravage cleaning and polishing and organizing, you’ve worked up more than a sweat.  A cold shower helps for a moment but you end up lying in bed feeling slightly wet and very, very hot. The humidity is draining.
You change into an outfit of a crop top and g-string panties. You aim the 3 fans in your room to point around your bed for direct wind contact. It helps, somewhat.
Sleep finally comes as dawn breaks. It’s cooled off enough that the ambient air around you is finally tolerable.  Exhaustion overwhelms you, and you pass out, hard. Finally.
You’re broken from your exquisite dream of being nailed by your landlord when a loud knock wakes you up. It’s disorienting. You’re so tired you’re not even sure where you are at the moment, let alone who is at the door.  The knock sounds again and you scurry to turn off the loud fans and book it to the door.
The door swings open and reveals your landlord, Yoongi.
“Oh, hi!” You’re excited to see him, for reasons beyond fixing your air conditioning.
Yoongi steps in and looks like he’s about to speak but opens his mouth and remains silent. His cheeks tingle a light shade of pink and he’s staring at your body.  Did you drool all over yourself all night or something? What was he staring—
Oh god.
You glance down at your body.  The crop top you hastily changed into in the middle of the night hits you a little lower than where your breasts end. The G string is non-existent. It covers almost nothing, which is why you opted for it last night in your desire to get cooled off.
You take a step back from the sexy landlord still gaping at you and shyly cross your arms over your chest.
“I’m sorry, I—it was hot,” you mutter. “I’ll go change.”
Yoongi licks his lips, then snaps his eyes up to you and finds his voice. “It’s fine. It’s your home,” he swallows. “It’s hot in here, so stay comfortable. Don’t want to overheat you.”
His eyes stare down yours intensely. It feels like your veins sizzle, and it’s not related to the scorching temperature of your studio apartment.
He breaks the contact first and heads towards the panel in the wall where the inner workings of the air conditioner hide.
You wait in your kitchen, enjoying the natural shadow and shade from no windows and a spot to hide from Yoongi.
What if he thought badly about you?  What if he doesn’t find you attractive and thinks of this as a ploy to get him to lower your rent or something?  How could you recover from this?  Would it ever go back to being the same?
You’re anxiously tapping your fingers on the kitchen countertop, listening intently as the landlord fiddles with pipes and belts and mutters under his breath every so often.  Eventually, you hear a soft ‘aha’ and your air con kicks right on.   You think it’s the most beautiful sound you’ve ever heard.   Instantly you feel the machine push out air. It’s lukewarm now from disuse, but soon it will be frigid cold.  You stand in front of the breeze and bask, arms open to let the wind blow through you.
Yoongi clears his throat, and it startles you, making you realize you’re standing in your house nearly naked, ass cheeks out on display, under-boob surely peeking out to say hi. Your face burns and it makes him chuckle as you jump and attempt to cover yourself somehow.
“How long was I standing there?” You ask quietly.
Yoongi can’t wipe the amused smirk on his face. “A few minutes,” he shrugs. “Glad it’s working now for you.”
The air rapidly cools as the machine continuously pumps out colder and colder air.
“Thank god. I owe you,” you sigh.
“Nah, that’s what rent pays for,” he smiles.
He makes his move to leave you alone, and you recognize this is it. This is your chance. You can ask him to fuck the shit out of you now. If he declines, well, the first of the month would start being more awkward. But if he accepts… it’s too blissful to imagine.
You grab at his arm as he walks past you.  He stops in his tracks, and his eyes travel to where your hands meet his skin.
“I’m serious,” you attempt to sound as confident as you can. “I owe you.”
He arches a brow at you and turns completely to face you. Your hands hover at the hem of your tiny shirt, lifting a sliver to give him a glance of the bottom of a rounded globe.
“Let me repay you somehow?” you ask.
A smirk lifts at one side of his lips. “You think that will cover the cost?”
Your cheeks heat and you pull the shirt up higher, determined to get him in your bed or die trying.
“I’m hoping.”
Yoongi’s eyes zero in on your tits. Rounded and full, nipples prickling in the fresh and rapidly cooling air.  He contemplates for a moment as he lets his eyes get their nice, long drink of you.
“Yeah, now that I think of it, that should be exact change.” He drops his bag of tools and approaches you quickly, hands cupping your head as he kisses you intensely.
He kisses you with all the fire of the heatwave outside, melting you from the inside out. You’re sure to be sweaty and clammy after you’re finished with him. He swipes his tongue over your lips, and there’s no hesitation to let him in. Your hands grip at his sides, pulling his shirt up as much as you can while trying to focus on making out with the hottest guy you’ve ever met.
He chuckles against your lips at your weak attempt to disrobe him and he reluctantly pulls a step away from you to take the shirt off. He stands there and allows you a quick look before he’s back on to you. His skin presses against your chilled nipples and the fire and ice sensation makes you shiver.
Yoongi kisses you passionately, you notice. Like a lover. It’s laced with deeper intention and you hope you’re not overthinking it. You will your brain to just shut up and enjoy. Emotions can come later.
Now, you’re the one to remove your lips from his and he pouts slightly at the loss. You smile and slide down to your knees, hands undoing the button of his tight jeans and tugging them down.
“Shit, babe, I think you may be overpaying me,” he admits. “Wasn’t that hard to fix.”
As a finger pulls down the front of his boxers to let his cock spring free, you flick a smirk up to his face.
“Then consider this my repayment for being late on rent all those months,” you state before shifting your gaze back to his hardened cock. It’s gathered pre-cum at the head and you wonder if he’s been hard and wanting since he got here and first saw you. The thought is intoxicating and spurs you on.
Your tongue licks up the slick at the tip that threatens to drip off, before it swirls around the bulbous head. Yoongi isn’t afraid to be loud, it seems. You supposed you wouldn’t be afraid if you owned the building too. Who will complain? And to who?
“Hoooooly fuck,” he gasps. “Sh—shit I might let you pay rent like this for the rest of your lease.”
You pop your mouth off and lick your lips, allowing your hand to grip his shaft and begin stroking him.
“I don’t want to pay rent this way. How about we consider it a perk?” You smile, pressing forward to kiss his tip teasingly.
“God, a girl who doesn’t want to fuck me just to take advantage of me? And she’s hot as fuck and wants to blow me for fun?” he quirks his head. “Shit, be careful or I’ll end up falling in love.”  
It makes your head spin a little and you suckle at the tip a little longer, making him keen, before you pull away again.
“Maybe that was the plan all along,” you simper, then take him in fully, letting his tip glide down your mouth to the back of your throat.  He groans loudly, and it’s the most satisfying sound. It makes you want to do this more. Every day if you could.
You get to work, sucking him in, allowing him passage to your throat, vacuuming your cheeks to add additional pressure, gliding your hands up and down the slick shaft to assist you in touching every single bit. Yoongi is thriving. He can’t believe his luck. The hottest girl in the complex, the girl he’s secretly pined over, is sucking his cock as if her life depends on it.
You’re salivating at the act now, saliva spilling out your mouth as you continue to envelop his cock quickly. You slip it out of your mouth to lean down and lick and suck at his balls, which makes him hum in absolute pleasure.  You don’t remain long—his cock is nearly pulsating with desire.  Your mouth returns to its rightful place and as you’re licking and sucking and pumping and stroking him, you maintain even and sensual eye contact with him.
You want him to know this isn’t a chore, a means to an end. You want him to know you’ve dreamt of him fucking your throat raw every night since you moved in.
Yoongi got the picture pretty quickly. His mouth drops open as he openly gapes at your work, giving him probably the best and hottest blowjob of his life.  
Your tongue swirls at the ridge of his head and Yoongi feels it snap—the tightness that holds everything back.  He fucks desperately into your throat, relishing in the feel of your gagging and moaning.  It didn’t take long until he was seeing it through to the end, pumping hot white ropes down your throat while he moaned out your name with a string of expletives.
The immoral pop noise your mouth made as you pull off his cock makes the blue-haired landlord standing above you moan.
“Fucking hell—where the fuck have you been all my life?” he sighs as he cups his hand under your chin. He beckons you back up, desperate to kiss you.  You oblige and return to standing, pressing against his body to pull him in to a dirty kiss.
“Upstairs, apparently,” you murmur.
He swipes his tongue on yours, tastes himself there, and decides he wants to taste himself on you all the time.  His hands slide down to your ass, the g string still curving down the line.  He snaps at the straps as you kiss, making you puff a laugh against his lips before pulling away.
“I’d be willing to fix your leaky faucet in the bathroom if you let me eat you out,” he offers.  
You’re tugging him towards your bed, knocking over multiple fans in the process, and flopping onto the mattress, landing on your back.
“Throw in fixing the squeaky wheel on my closet, and you’ve got yourself a deal,” you joke, spreading your legs to give him the tiniest clue of what lays between.
He sighs dramatically with a smile, “Needy tenant,” before he slips down to hover over you. He intends to kiss and lick every part of your body, starting with the tits that hypnotized him.
“Can’t believe you opened the door like that,” he chuckled as he plucked a nipple between his fingers and lightly rolled it.  “I thought I was dreaming.”
The feeling is instant, electricity sparking at the tips of your nipples and warming its way around your body, directly to your cunt.  You’re absolutely certain that by the time Min Yoongi reaches his mouth to your core, he’ll drown in it.
He moves forward and wraps his lips around the bud, allowing his hands to travel to the neglected one and to squeeze and pinch and prod.  He’s rewarded with your beautiful sighs and gasps—it’s sweeter than any song he’s ever heard.
He presses your tits together and rubs his face in the cleavage there, making you gasp and laugh at the same time.  He gazes up at you and flashes his gummy smile.
“I’ve really wanted to do that,” he admits, which makes you giggle again.
“Be my guest,” you approve.  He takes your reply and does it again for just a moment, before he’s kissing and sucking at the flesh of your breasts.  He wants to mark you, leave a piece of him for you to remember every time you see yourself.  You moan in appreciation and rub your thighs together, desperate at the ache that grows with every nip and nibble of Yoongi’s lips and teeth.
He seems to understand and trails down, kissing and sucking at your long torso, abdomen, hips.  He leaves little bruises everywhere and you want them to last forever.  You want him to mark you and claim you as his own.
His fingers slip around the thin straps of your underwear, and he tugs them right off.  He’s unable to stop the loud moan when he notices the slick that strings between them and your folds.  You’re drenched, and he marveled at how excited you were about him.
“Fuck, babe—” he sighs as he lowers his chest down to lie in front of your spread thighs.  Your center is weeping, slicked with your arousal and he can tell you’re desperate for friction, for anything.  “Look at this perfect fucking pussy.”
You whimper as you can feel his breath so close to where you need him.  
“Yoongi, please,” you whine.  “I’m so fucking horny.”
“I can tell,” he hums.  “Keep moaning my name like that and I’ll make sure you’re always horny and ready for me.”
He lowers his lips, hovering millimeters from your slit.  He holds it there as he watches your anguished face nearly burst at how close and yet how far he is, before he obliges you and presses into you.  
You gasp at the first swipe of his tongue on your clit.  He maintains a soft up and down motion on the nub and you’re already seeing stars.  He steadily increases the pressure and the speed, then spices it up by swirling his tongue around in different shapes, spelling out his name on your cunt with his tongue to remind you just who got you this fucking soaked.
Your legs falter and quiver as he slips his tongue deeper inside you, licking into your hole and nearly drinking you up.  He pulls back and devotes his attention to your clit and your moans turn from soft gasps and pleas to loud whines as he slips his fingers into your cunt and slowly fucks you, spreading you out.  He’s not small by any means, he feels he can get you ready to go.
“I want you to cum for me on my tongue,” he states, matter-of-factly.  “I want to feel you on my fingers.”
You nod, plucking at your own nipples with one hand as the other seeks purchase in his hair.  
“Can you do that for me, babe? Can you cum for me and get my hand nice and drenched?  I want to lick it off my fingers.”
His fingers get frantic and he splits his time between suckling and laving at your clit and encouraging you with illicit requests and praises.  
Yoongi continues, never letting up or even giving an inkling of a hint he’s tiring.  His hand works like a machine and he slips yet another finger inside your heat, making you arch off the bed.  He licks at your clit with just the right pressure, and he picks up the speed and it sends you tumbling towards your orgasm.  You feel the breath leave your lungs as it hits you, core and channel muscles squeezing him tight and legs shaking around his body.   Your moans echo off the small apartment walls, only drowned out by the sound of the fresh air-con still running.  
“Oh, my god Yoongi—” you pant.  “I’ve never cum so hard from oral in my life.”
He pulls his fingers from inside you as you come back down from your high and chuckles at your words.  True to his promise, he lets the slick glisten on his finger and marvels at it, before he’s popping the fingers into his mouth and sucking them clean.
“You taste so fucking good,” he compliments, and it makes your chest tighten and tips of your ears turn red.  “Fuck, I could eat you every fucking day.”
You smirk, still sensitive but feeling the desperate ache inside you needy for him and his thick cock.  Your legs spread open as he lays between them and you’re wiggling your hips to get his attention.
“I’m sure we could arrange something in my lease for that,” you tease.  “I could suck your cock hourly, honestly.”
He groans as he sits up between your legs, cock resting heavily on top of your mound.  It’s so close, so close to where you need it to be.  You appreciate the thick member as it rests and as Yoongi catches his breath.  It’s thick and long, on top of your mound the tip reaches to the tiny swell of your stomach.  You know you will not be able to walk tomorrow, that’s for sure.
“You’re telling me I could have been going down on you and been getting my dick sucked by the hottest girl on the planet this whole time and all I’ve done is give you shit about rent?”  
You stifle a laugh and spread your legs open wider.  “Looks like it.  We better make up for all that lost time, don’t you think?”
His cock is rigid, almost stone, and he agrees heartily.
“Fuck yeah, we should.  I’ve been dreaming about being inside you.”
He sounds so dirty, looks so sinful—it’s all so much and you’re almost begging for him to take you.
He reaches down to the pants on the floor that dropped and shimmies a condom out of his wallet.  You send him a look that he silences with a roll of his eyes.
“Every dude has one, chill,” he mumbles. “I haven’t gotten laid in like a year and a half.”  He pales as he realizes what he just said. “Not that it matters.  Or that I care. Or that you care—christ can we fuck now please?” He asks as he rolls the rubber onto his stiff cock.
You’re laughing a bit, not at him but with him, and you lean up on your elbows to kiss his lips.  “If it makes it better, I haven’t gotten laid in 3 years so I’m the loser by comparison,” you assure.
He wants to ask you how the fuck you haven’t gotten laid in that long because you’re the hottest god damn person he thinks he’s ever seen, but he realizes he doesn’t care and that it works out in his favor because Yoongi doesn’t like competition.
“Looks like the landlord needs to fix yet another problem of yours,” he winks as he lines himself up.  You lean back onto the pillows and sigh as you feel the touch of his head right at the opening of your slit.
In one slow motion, he slides himself to the hilt. It’s tight, so fucking tight even after one orgasm, and Yoongi nearly hollers at the feel.  He’s sure his eyes are rolling back in his head.  It’s warm and tight and wet and even through a condom he’s in absolute bliss.  He’s hoping one day he can try it without—fuck you raw and stuff you full of his cum.  
He’s still inside you, and after a moment to breathe and adjust to the thick girth of him, you’re whining.  “Yoongi, fuck me, I need you so fucking bad.”
A feral groan leaves his lips, and he’s off, beginning a pace that has him hoarse from moaning in no time.  He’s never felt so good inside a cunt before, never understood how some men could do crazy shit for ‘magic pussy’, but now he gets it—he realizes he’d probably do some dumb things for a chance to be inside you again.
“Oh, yeah—” you whine. “S-shit, you’re so fucking big, Yoongi.  Fuck me nice and deep.”
“Mmm, yeah? You want me to bruise your cervix? Want me to make this cunt remember my fucking cock?”  He thrusts harder, pushing into you with diligent speed and intensity.  “Gonna make sure you can never cum from another cock again, only mine.”
You’re losing your breath with how hard he’s fucking into you, both your moans and pants coming out in quick little bursts between his thrusts.
“Y-y-yes! Yo-o-ongi! Right there!”  He hits a spot that feels so good, and you feel the pull towards orgasm tighten.
“God—you feel so. fucking. good.” he emphasizes with a thrust. “Need to feed your tiny pussy my dick every day, hm?  Needy little cunt needs my thick cock.”
Tears form in your eyes.  The depths he reaches inside you nearly scrambles your brains—you forget everything that isn’t Yoongi and his perfect thickness spearing inside you.
“Yoongi! Gonna c-cum!”
He goes harder, becomes rabid for your second orgasm and wants to feel the way you squeezed his fingers on his cock, knowing the channel will feel even impossibly tighter.
“That’s right, good girl,” he praises while he maintains a punishing pace.  “Let me see you cum on this cock, baby, wanna see that pretty little pussy all creamy for me.”
His thumb rubs at your clit, moving it in circular motions, and diverts his eyesight between watching your full tits bounce and your lips open and close in pure bliss.  You’re the definition of fucked out and Yoongi feels a surge of testosterone at the sight—knowing he was responsible.
“O-oh! Th-there!” You’re frantic and he can tell you’re right on the edge.  He goes even faster, deeper and harder, and it’s the final straw.  You’re catapulted off the edge and thrown headfirst into your orgasm.   As he suspected, your perfect cunt pulsates around him like a fist and he’s groaning and stuttering as it triggers his own release.  
It takes a few moments for both of you to come down, before he pulls his softening cock from within you and disposes of the condom.  You’re breathing hard, and he’s smiling at the sheen of sweat on your body.
“Good thing I got that AC fixed today, hm?” He asks as he leans over to kiss at your lips.
You grin and pull him down to lay next to you, snuggling into his body.  He holds onto you and kisses your head.  He feels a level of contentment he’s never felt before.
You break the silence. “Now, as the landlord’s girlfriend, do I get any special perks? Like you’ll throw the utilities into my rent? Free cable?”
He chuckles against your forehead. “Not a fucking chance, babe.”
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© ppersonna - 2020 - do not repost on any site, or translate without express permission from author.
4K notes · View notes
awanderingdeal · 3 years
Note
Hello there! Would you please consider writing a fic where maybe Leo or a fan wears a dress or paints his nails or something else feminine and gets bullied online so the entire team then starts wearing dresses out in retaliation? I think Leo is the perfect example of flipping the V to normative gender ideals
Hi! Thank you for this ask. I hope you don't mind, but I kind of took this as inspiration and ran with it. I used Finn just because it fits my own personal headcanons that he would be the one that would be a bit more adventurous fashion wise, although I definitely agree Leo is the nail painter in that relationship! I hope you like it!
Apologies for the excessive use of italics in this fic!
CW: food mentions, some swearing, implied Instagram bullying and a child with very mild illness (hay fever).
Rating: T
Let me know if you think I missed anything or need to change the rating.
All characters in this fic are from Sweater Weather universe and belong to @lumosinlove
“Are you going to take that dress off?” June asked, blowing on the undercoat she’d just applied to her nails. Finn’s eyes dropped from the TV screen to the black fabric draping over his body. He brushed his fingers over the material, enjoying the texture of the sheer polka dots that decorated the dress. From afar, they were difficult to see, but at this distance they shined. His own little secret.
“No,” Finn replied, the word slipping from his mouth felt foreign, as if he hadn’t chosen to say it. “ Is that okay?”
“It’s generally considered polite to ask before you borrow people’s clothing, but sure, why not?” A loud cheer erupted from the TV notifying Finn the score on the basketball game he had been watching had changed. He desperately wanted to check it, but he continued to hold June’s gaze. “The Knicks,” June offered and Finn breathed a sigh of relief. “Are you going to wear it out later?” She didn’t wait for his reply, proffering two bottles of polish for Finn’s perusal, a redcurrant and a mauve.
“The red,” Finn decided after a beat. “No, I think I’ll get changed before we go to the theatre.”
“Alright then,” June hummed, glancing at her cell. “Logan is trying to call you, by the way.”
“Yes, my cell, I know exactly where that is,” Finn muttered to himself, stabbing at the remote to pause the TV. It took a few minutes of searching, the device hidden between the folds of the bean bag he was lounging on, but eventually Logan’s face was filling all 6.1 inches of the screen. “Lo!”
“Hey.”
Finn loved the greeting on Logan’s tongue, one of those that he never seemed to be able to stop his accent dripping through. Finn thought perhaps the sentiment was painted on his face, Logan peering at him curiously through the lens. “Isn’t that June’s dress?”
The dress. Finn had forgotten all about it. “Yes.”
He hadn’t meant for the reply to be said with such abruptness, but it felt good, all the tension coiling in his chest being released in the word.
Logan’s expression was challenging, similar to that June had given him earlier. “I was just going to say you look better in it.”
“Oh.”
June unfurled her legs from beneath her, throwing herself into view of the screen, her left hand held awkwardly in front of her. “I’m right here, Tremblay!”
***
“Love, you need to get out of the kitchen. You’re being very distracting.”
Finn frowned at Leo’s statement. “I’m not doing anything?” And for once, he wasn’t. He wasn’t trying to guess the weight of irrelevant objects. He wasn’t playing with the stray bits of dough Leo had left aside for decoration. He wasn’t even relaying facts about his current favourite interest. Finn was just watching.
Sometimes he liked to do that. He liked seeing Leo’s long fingers curled around the handle of the knife, his movements fluid and confident, his expression soft with quiet concentration. Occasionally, he’d cock his head, humming contemplatively and Finn could take the opportunity to offer his taste buds.
“It’s not a you problem, it’s a me problem,” Leo chuckled, setting the knife down on the chopping board. “I keep looking up and you’re just -” Finn followed Leo’s gaze as it wandered down to the exposed skin between Finn’s t-shirt and his skirt. “- I’m trying to meal prep and it’s going to take all week at this rate.”
The t-shirt had belonged to Logan, an old Harvard hockey throwback that had managed to make it through several wardrobe purges, so, whilst it was wide enough for Finn, the length was awkward. He hadn’t really considered his boyfriend’s reactions as he’d cut the item to fall several inches above his belly button, the crop looking far more purposeful than it previously had.
“Oh this old thing, I just threw it on,” Finn smirked, as he pushed off the counter he'd been leaning on. He rounded the island, stealing a carrot as he passed, until he planted himself in front of Leo. "Do you want help? It'd be quicker?"
"Now we both know neither of those things are true." Leo raised a critical eyebrow, his laughter smooth and sweet. He turned to face Finn more fully, his hand reaching to pass the forest green material of Finn's skirt through his fingers. "I like this colour on you."
"It has pockets! I totally get why Lily's always shouting about them. They're very convenient." Finn shoved his hands in the well-concealed pocket, pulling his cell from its depths. "See."
"Nice," Leo said, his smile making the edges of his face crinkle. "How about you let me finish up here and then we can find Lo and get his opinion on this outfit?"
"Fine," Finn groaned, resisting the temptation to draw Leo in a hug, and perhaps something more. "I'm gonna go and look over that report the accountant sent over. Do you want me to check yours over too?"
"Please," Leo nodded, his smile growing wider. "You're the best."
"You feed me, I make sure you don't get arrested, that's what relationships are all about, right?"
"Right," Leo ran his fingers over the skirt one last time and stepped back to put some space between them. Finn turned to leave, barely getting a few paces in before Leo called him. "Wait!"
"Yeah?"
"Just one kiss now would be okay."
Finn shook his head, letting Leo draw him back in with a chuckle. Leo's hands, always warm, settled on Finn's waist and he leaned down to press their lips together.
***
Finn winced as Aveline sneezed again, the forceful burst of air covering his sweater in droplets. He felt sorry for her; she was struggling with a bout of hay fever that was making her red-nosed and irritable, but the sweater was one of Finn’s favourites. A vintage, hand knitted blue thing he’d found in a thrift store in Cambridge for an absolute steal. Back then, it had been the scene of Bambi and his friends on it that had grasped Finn’s attention, however, he’d come to love it for its perfect fit and the fact it never failed to spark a conversation.
“Harzy, thank you. You’re a lifesaver.” Finn tried not to let his relief show too much seeing Kris’ approach, his arms outstretched to gather his daughter. “I can’t even put her down to go to the bathroom at the moment without her screaming.”
Finn chuckled, holding a wriggling Aveline tighter to stop her launching herself before her father was close enough. “Papa!” she cried, the exclamation melded neatly into a large yawn.
“Come, mon chou,” Kris soothed, letting Aveline bury her face into the crook of his neck and playing a gentle pattern with his fingers over her back. “Let’s go and see if Vroom-vroom has any magic up his sleeve, ey? He always knows what to do.”
“Vroom-vroom?” Finn whispered the question.
“Sergei,” Kris explained with a gleeful smile despite the tiredness etched into his face. He shifted Aveline into a more comfortable position. “Thanks again for holding her.”
“Anytime.”
Finn had barely been alone in the Dumais’ second living room for a minute when Katie came crashing in. He wondered briefly if he should redirect her back to the other room where everybody was gathered, the thought quickly interrupted by Katie tugging on the hem of his skirt. “Can you spin again? Please?”
Unable to resist her large doe eyes, Finn twirled for her, his skirt swirling and billowing around him until he began to go dizzy.
“Encore! Encore!”
Finn didn’t need Logan around to translate that for him, he’d seen enough Broadway shows to understand the request.
“No more, Katie Belle. I’m going to puke,” Finn laughed, lifting Katie into his arms. “You’re growing too quickly! I swear you were only this big the last time I saw you,” he teased, spreading the thumb and index finger of his free hand a few inches apart.
“I’ll be as tall as you soon!” Katie giggled, patting Finn on his head.
“Then you can carry me,” Finn teased. He was just reaching to bop Katie on the nose when the unmistakable sound of a camera shutter closing grabbed his attention.
“Logan!” Katie gasped, struggling in Finn’s arms for a second like little Aveline had done. “Put me down.”
Finn obliged, watching Katie run toward Logan with a fond smile.
“Did you fix it?” she asked, her voice hopeful.
“Ouais,” Logan nodded, “I gave it back to Maja.”
“Merci, merci, merci!” Katie wrapped her arms around Logan’s hips in a hug before running off, presumably to find Maja.
Finn crossed the room, opening his arms for Logan to walk into. He rested his chin on Logan’s head, breathing in the familiar smell of his shampoo. “What were you up to?”
“Just taking a photo of two of my favourite people,” Logan mumbled into Finn’s chest.
“Can I see?”
“Oui, it’s very cute. ” Logan stepped back, pulling the photo up onto the screen. It was a nice one, both Finn and Katie’s head tipped back slightly with bright laughter. Finn tracked down the photo, Katie’s legs clinging to his waist where the faux leather skirt started. He breathed in, filling his lungs with air and then expelling it quickly.
“Post it.”
Logan looked at him, eyes wide. “Are you sure?”
“Not really, but I’m fed up with changing my clothes all the time and I’m surprised I haven’t been papped anyway. I’d rather do this on my own terms. It’s a fucking skirt, it shouldn’t be a big deal.”
“Tell me to do it again,” Logan reached out a hand, squeezing gently as Finn took it.
“Post it.”
***
“Stop reading,” Leo sighed, plucking Finn’s cell from his hand.
Finn matched his sigh, burying his head into his hands. He didn’t need to look at the screen anyway, the words burned into his eyes. How anybody had looked at a photo of two people, one of whom was a child, laughing and had churned out hatred was mystifying to him. Finn had been expecting that though, he’d been around long enough to know there were some assholes out there. When he’d replied to one of the nicer ones he hadn’t really considered how he would feel about that going viral. About becoming the face of something he hadn’t really asked for.
Roaringlion17: Harzy! This fit is spectacular, I love the skirt <3 I just wanted to ask if you are trans and what pronouns you would like us to use?
OfficialFOHara: @roaringlion17 Thank you! He/him pronouns are great! I’m not trans. I just think it’s dumb that boys can’t wear skirts. Or dresses for that matter. I like clothes, not boxes.
The reply had now been featured on every gossip column possible and was beginning to filter into more esteemed news too. One of them had even called him, the face of a revolution, which had made Finn cringe. He supposed it was better than the hateful slurs his PR team were battling to keep off the photo.
“Hey,” Logan took the seat next to Finn where he’d slumped himself at the dining table. “Look at me.” Finn lifted his head, meeting Logan’s eyes, the deep green something he wanted to get lost in right now. He thought Logan was going to ask for the thousandth time if Finn wanted him to delete it, but all he got was the fierce, determined gaze Logan sported on the ice. “This is going to pass. Tomorrow, somebody will cheat on somebody and you will be old news. Do you want to see something?”
Finn nodded. He didn’t know what he was consenting to, but he trusted Logan to make it something that would make him smile. Leo dragged another of the chairs around to sit on Finn’s left hand side, setting his confiscated cell in front of him, the Instagram app open to Thomas’ profile. Logan leaned forward, tapping on the latest photo.
Thomas’ smile was wide as he sat on a window sill, kicking out the long zebra print skirt cloaking his legs. The caption underneath read ‘You’re just jealous that I wear it better than you! #boyswearskirtstoo’
“That’s -”
“Wait a second,” Logan reached for the phone again, setting it down with a picture of James’ visible. He was wearing an ochre coloured corduroy skirt that clearly belonged to Lily, the fabric straining on thighs. I’m feeling myself in this, tbh. Please hold whilst I order one in my size #boys wearskirtstoo.
Finn snorted, the sound wet with the tears he was struggling to hold back.
The hashtags kept coming.
Cap and Loops in their respective jersey’s tucked into pleated skirts. These Lions know fashion is not gendered #boyswearskirtstoo
Ollie in a shimmering gold knee length piece. Shine bright! #boyswearskirtstoo
Nado, Kuny, Smitty and Kane, arms slung around one another's shoulders, all wearing varying shades of pink. On Wednesdays, we wear pink #boyswearskirtstoo. Finn would bet good money that Kuny was behind that caption.
Dumo, Sergei and their wives, alongside their troupe of children, each one of them wearing a different coloured tutu. Dumo had opted to just include the hashtag, or rather his social media team had, because the man himself most definitely did not know how to upload the photo.
Kasey and Natalie looked effortlessly cool dressed in white tennis skirts and floral bomber jackets. I’m not sure what all the fuss is about? #boyswearskirtstoo
Alex was wearing a very similar black skirt to Finn's in his photo. Who wore it better? #boyswearskirtstoo #thatsmylittlebrother
“He’s an idiot, but I love him,” Finn laughed wetly.
“There’s more,” Logan smirked as he tapped at the screen again, almost brimming with an excited energy. He placed the cell back down, leaving his hand to block the next photo a little longer. Finn grabbed the device as soon as Logan revealed the image.
It was perfect.
Leo and Logan lounged on the sofa, a little further apart than they would normally sit. Leo clutching his favourite mug and Logan with sketchpad in hand. They both looked easy in their outfits, as if the skirts were a part of them. Leo’s was long, hitting just above his ankle, a navy lining coated in a tulle that was embellished with celestial bodies. Logan was looking at the camera, his eyes just visible under the brim of his cap. His skirt was shorter, the denim flaring over his thick thighs. In this house we respect people’s right to wear whatever the fuck they want #boyswearskirtstoo
Finn stopped trying to fight the tears, letting the moisture well in his eyes. “Thank you,” he choked out, pushing himself from his chair. Leo and Logan had their arms around him before he could ask. “Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you.” He couldn’t seem to make the words stop, his body shaking with sobs, his boyfriend’s arms remaining sure around him until Finn wiped at his face and muttered an apology. “Sorry.”
“You have nothing to apologise for.” Leo swept his thumb over Finn’s cheek, wiping away a stray tear. “What can we do? What do you need?”
Finn let out a heavy breath, leaning into Logan’s hold. “I think I want to send a thank you to the group chat and then snacks and cuddles? I can deal with the world tomorrow.”
“Okay then, snacks and cuddles. We deal with the world tomorrow.”
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lucycola · 3 years
Note
Spock being kind of betrayed by his love interest but after a bit of angst, everything falls into place and fluff is baaaack :>
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Spock x Fem!Reader
WARNINGS: Language, sexual situations, daddy kink if you squint
Spock is a bit of a stubborn asshole in this one. He doesn’t like being lied to and will not stop at getting the truth, especially when he knows it’s about him. Spock may be a little too personal in front of Bones, but it’s an emotional situation. 
The buzz from your monitor diffused through the air, ringing in Spock’s ears. As low as it was it still brought him to groggily open his eyes. The whole room was wrapped in a soft blue glow. He sat up, hand immediately feeling the empty spot next to him.
“I’m sorry, but I’m not exactly sure how long,” you whispered, hunched over the screen.
“T’hy’la,” he said into the glow, tone sharper than he intended.
You hurriedly flipped off the monitor.
“Spock,” you said, “I’m sorry I woke you.” You tip-toed carefully across the room and crawled back under the thermal blankets. Your boyfriend have better been thankful that you were extremely cold natured otherwise the mere temperature of his cabin would drive you out of the room.
“What were you-”
“I was finishing up some work for the lab. I dreamed of it and woke and immediately I had to do it before it slipped my mind.”
He could sense your deceit in the way your voice wavered, but it also did that when you were grieving. He moved to find your hand in the dark, but failed as you began to massage his scalp.
Were you avoiding his touch? he wondered.
“Sleep, Sa-mekh,” you gently teased him with the only word that could make his scowl at you, other than ‘papa’ itself. He did like it in bed, however, as much as he denied it.
You paused, thinking of the word critically, a surge of panic leaving your hands. He could feel it, “Tell me what ails you. Who were you talking to a moment ago?”
“Myself,” you quickly yanked your hands away. “I really am sorry for waking you.”
He didn’t bother turning to face you or to further question you. It would come out eventually at the test of his impatience or yours. Something was upsetting you-he felt the raw emotion even through the follicles of his scalp. He would take more time to ponder-more time to investigate.
“I shall return to  sleep - as should you. You should participate in your work on the alpha shift singularly as your sleep cycles will continue to be disrupted therefore lowering you work efficiency-”
“And yours?” you finished for him, half joking. “Whatever you say, Commander.”
x
“I wish everyone would stop treating us like we’re married, honestly,” you said, crossing your arms in front of Doctor McCoy.
“All I know is that I’ve got an irritated Vulcan asking me to scan you. He thinks you're hiding something from me and he’s doing whatever he can to figure it out before actually asking you. Something about not letting him touch you. I tried to tell him it was normal once a month-”
You gave him a playful swat.
“Forgive me, I jest.”
“How ridiculous,” you replied and then sighed.
“That’s a man’s pride for you. It escapes no species,” Nurse Chapel said handing you back the report.
“And as you are hiding something, I’m guessing, I suggest you go on out with it. He’ll tear the ship apart finding an answer.”
“And how I think he used to indulge in smothering me in rapid fire questions. That was before our first meld,” you said, fingering the edge of the padd not having fully looked at it yet.
“I’m surprised he hasn’t tried that yet,” McCoy said, “He’s already hunted me down once. I’m not allowed to say anything, but as a favor to me-”
“Bones-”
“Keep him out of my hair and tell him whatever it is you’re lying about-”
You turned the padd to face him and his eyes enlarged, first with shock and then with mirth. He let out a hearty laugh.
“Good luck with that one. I’d say he’s gonna turn green, but that’s normal for him.”
“Have you  talked to your mother yet, honey?” Nurse Chapel asked.
x
Why would you have spoken with your mother so late an hour? Was it purposeful because he had been sleeping? Was it an emergency? Surely you would have told Spock.
He had already extracted the call log from his comm, even though the data had been private and locked under your information. You would fuss at him later he already knew, but this little inkling in the back of his mind reminded him. That raw feeling he felt through your hands. It terrified you. You were scared of something.
You were lying to him. You had lied to him. You had not been speaking to yourself. You had been speaking to your mother. He supposed he could contact your mother, but you two had never formally been introduced and some parties might find that offensive.
You were eating less and less and sleeping with him less and less. You weren’t being as intimate as you usually were either and that was most alarming. Not because it was a requirement to Spock, but because it was a deviation of your behavior. Spock didn’t usually adopt Terran colloquialisms, but once after sucking him off in the lab in the middle of a gamma shift he called you a ‘dirty bird’. He always made you blush when using Terran phrases and slang.
Was it something he did? It seemed he was always doing something, but Spock could honestly not place something accidentally offensive or insulting he might have said. You were pretty good at pointing out when he was too candid or too critical. He was good at pointing out when you were too emotional and too...well too human.
Yet he relished in every bit of that-and so did you, or so he thought you had.
So what was it?
Spock didn’t chew on his nails, but found himself letting the edge of his thumb rest in his teeth.
A familiar warm hand clapped him on the shoulder.
“Look alive, Spock,” the captain playfully chided.
“I assure you captain I am in no way deceased.”
x
You were pregnant. It was that simple. Yet, it didn’t feel simple at all. You wouldn’t hardly let Spock even touch you for fear of finding out. You were terrified of his response.
You were puking in the bathroom and had called your mother immediately. It was the second week in a row and Christine’s labs proved it.
You had a bun in your oven. You could see Spock giving you the quizzical brow at the use of the expression. You could see yourself fussing a little, telling him you knew that he knew exactly what that phrase meant and to stop acting like he didn’t.
It was true what you had said to Bones.
You two weren’t married. It was perfectly normal to have a child out of wedlock- that was, on Earth. You hadn’t even met his parents. What would they say? It would only be a fourth Vulcan. He didn’t speak fondly of his father and whenever prompted you could practically read how sour their relationship was. His father had to be fond of humans to some extent-his wife was human after all.
Would other Vulcans shame Spock? Would they shame your baby?
You heard a buzz from the comm. You got up out of bed and walked over.
“McCoy to Yeoman L/N.”
“Yes, doctor?”
“I’ve got a green-blooded devil down here demanding your presence.”
You groaned into your fist.
“You can’t make me.”
“Please.”
It was the first time you ever heard Spock say that. The tone was nearly pitiful as it was on edge.
x
“You can’t make anyone get a scan, Spock. She doesn’t even work in your division,” Bones said once you arrived.
“She has not been eating, sleeping, nor participating in the normal intimate recreations. Her behavior is off and her pallor has changed considerably,” Spock argued.
“That’s not of anyone’s business, Spock,” you said, appalled. He was being...so unlike himself. It was even weirder that it was in front of Bones. Spock would rather eat his hat than be any kind of vulnerable in front of...well anyone. 
“He’s...he’s just worried about you,” Nurse Chapel offered politely from afar.
You groaned, “I wish everyone would just stay out of it. I’m not ready for this.”
“Well you should’ve thought about that before you...uh” Bones started but immediately stopped when you shot him daggers, “Spock, why don’t you just ask her?’
“She has deceived me once before. I do not trust her again to be candid. She is either emotionally upset with a matter and does not want to tell me because it concerns me or she is ill and is emotional about such and does not want to tell me. Either way I am...most concerned.”
It seemed Spock would be eating his own hat later. You could feel the heat rise in your cheeks. Was he really this worried? 
“Spock...”
He turned to you, “I apologize for involving the doctor but I do not like it when you lie. Especially when I can be of assistance.”
You could feel water brimming at your lashes. “You’re so smart, Spock. Just so damn smart I hate it.”
You sat on the edge of one of the stretchers, tears dribbling down your face.
“Now, look what you’ve done, you ass!” Bones said angrily, “Out of my bay this instant.”
Spock ignored him and knelt down in front of you.
“I can help. And if I can’t we will find a way, ashayam.”
You looked up at him. “I am upset with something...and I am sick and it does have to do with you. Both of your guesses were right.”
You held out a hand. He assumed it was to meld, but it wasn’t so as you only placed his hand palm down on your still flat abdomen.
His eyes widened. “Y/N...”
“I know I lied about talking to my mother. I was just afraid you would find out and I wasn’t... I just don’t think we’re ready. I want to be ready, but I don’t know if you’re ready. We’re not married and I don’t want to cause trouble for you on Vulcan.”
He stared at your stomach for a long time, hand unmoving.
“I do not care what others think of me on Vulcan. I do not care what they think of my t’hy’la or my child,” he said with a tone of finality, “I only care what you think. If you are not ready I will not force you to beget my children.”
“Are you ready?” you asked.
“I do not think a parent ever truly is. My mother once spoke those words to me,” he admitted, “But it is not my say in the matter whether you choose to carry out the pregnancy. Do you wish to terminate the pregnancy?”
“No, Spock.”
He rubbed your stomach gingerly, “I am sorry for my behavior, ashayam. It was most ill-mannered of me. The mother of my child deserves better treatment.”
You placed your hand over his while it was still on your stomach, “I’m sorry too. I shouldn’t lie to you.”
“Well, well,” the doctor spoke up from the awkward silence beside his nurse, “I guess we ought to pass around cigars now?”
It seemed you both had forgot that Bones and Christine were still even there, witnessing the sappy moment between you two. 
Spock repaired that easily. 
“I will not allow my t’hy’la to engage in such a habit or for those surrounding her to do so. Certainly, doctor, you do not permit such unhealthy behaviors to pregnant persons.”
You laughed and Bones rolled his eyes.
Another day on the Enterprise, you thought. Another day.
tagged: @groovyfluxie @dontgivedeath @lumar014 @pringtella @moonchildlonan @superninjapervert420 @love-wanderlust15 @ischysiaclark​@imyourspacegirlfriend @hiddlestonme @fandoms4ever97 @mywellspringoflife​ @rebelchild93 @nilalunis16​
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tellatennie · 3 years
Text
Shigaraki smut
I wrote this high asf so it'll most likely get deleted soon because when I wake up after publishing this ill regret being born lmo. This is literally my first time writing smut and i did it when i was high. Probably not a good combo.
WARNINGS: SEX
"OHH THAT'S JUST CHEATING" I shouted at my boyfriend, while smashing the buttons on the switch controller. We were playing Mario Kart and needless to say we were both quite competitive at it. "TOMURA STOP THAT'S CHEATING" I shrieked, he kept poking my side just when I would be getting ahead of him, causing me to lose control of the controller and allowing him to slip by. 
"Its called playing smart!" he smirked at me and crossed the finish line in first. I sighed and rolled my eyes "Next one I'll get you" We were playing rounds of three, three tracks, three games, three chances to win. Now I only have two chances to win, seeing as my boyfriend was a cheater at every game we played. He even cheated during Monopoly by getting Dabi to distract me while he stole money and hotels from the box.
I had a plan though, I knew what to do to throw him off his game.
We started the second race, and we both kept our cars almost directly next to each other the whole time, at this point we knew how the other would react to something and we used that against each other. Crossing the line to start our third and final lap I waited until just the right moment to put my plan into play. I had planned it just carefully enough where he didn't see something was coming, but I was just barely ahead of him. 
Just a little's way away from the final finish line I jumped on him and grabbed his controller and yanked it from him as hard as I could. He let out a yelp of shock and quickly reacted, going for the controller immediately. My premeditated plan work perfectly as I lifted both my feet up with s p e e d. He landed on my feet and groaned in light pain. He rolled his eyes as I passed the finish line in first and he stood up.
"That was so unfair!" I gave him the most innocent smile I could muster. "Its called playing smart babe!" I said in a borderline mocking tone. He snatched his controller back from me, accidentally disintegrating it. I laughed at his now emotionless 'I just died inside' face expression.
"Don't worry baby, I always keep spares just incase." I stood up and walked over to my table, picking up another controller I had set out, whilst picking up a little surprise present I had gotten Tomura. It was put in a cute little box that I had carefully wrapped ribbon around. I walked back over to him where he was sitting on my couch fidgeting his fingers, "I'm sorry (Y/N)". I plopped next to him and handed him the box. turning to face him while watching his expression change from confusion to happiness at the realization that I got him a present. He tugged at the ribbon but to no avail, the ribbon was put on there a bit tight, so he ended up just disintegrating the ribbon off. He lifted the lid off the box to reveal a pair of gloves that cover only two fingers to help him prevent destroying some things with his quirk. He lifted the gloves up and a smile spread across his face.
"Wow.. Thank you baby" He slipped the gloves on and looked at me with a goofy smile. "But I'm still gonna beat you in round 3"
"I'd like to see you try"
We had a deal that neither of us would try to make the other lose. ‘A fair fight’ we called it. It’s obvious no one had the intention to make this a fair fight, we were both glancing at each other and smiling. So yeah, obvious. 
Eventually we had both made our way to first and second place, but I was showing to have the chance of being first. I was quite ahead of him and I just had my fingers crossed for a Bullet Bill power up to seal my win.
I came up on a row of power ups and I drove through one, waiting to see what I got. I got a banana. I huffed in defeat and kept driving, throwing the banana behind me. 
“Ohh whaT THE HELL” Tomura said as he conveniently ran over the banana, causing his car to slow and allowing me to gain more of an advantage against him. "Haaa looks like I'm going to win!" 
Suddenly he pounced on me, pinning my arms above my head with one hand while taking away my controller with the other. “What happened to no cheating? Did you just get too mad at me?” I mocked. He leaned over and kept my arms pinned with his forearm and used his hands to keep steering his car, not responding to me. I tried wiggling my arms out but to no avail, he’s pretty strong.
I wrapped my legs around his waist and flipped him onto his back in return. I snatched his controller away and made his racer drive off a cliff and tossed the controller onto the ground where he wouldn’t be able to reach it. I looked back at him to see that his face was slowly turning red. I leaned down and rested my head on his chest and smiled at him. I let go of his pinned arms and lowered my hands to trace the scratch marks on his neck. He brought his hands down and ran his fingers through my hair. He sat up and gripped the back of my neck, pulling me in to kiss him. I could feel his other hand start to roam up my thigh when we suddenly heard the Mario Kart finish line music play through the speakers. We broke away from the kiss to see who had won. 
”WALUIGI!?” I yelled, jumping from my spot on the couch. Running up to the tv with my controller. “HOW DID WALUIGI WIN HE FUCKING SUCKS!” I huffed and crossed my arms, mumbling quite rude things directed at the annoying character. I felt Tomuras arms wrap around my waist as he laid his chin on my shoulder. 
“It’s just a game baby, besides, that just means you and I are still tied. So we need to find another way to find the winner” He whispered that last part in my ear. “What other way are we gonna decide who wins then- ohhhh” I felt very very dumb in that moment. Tomura laughed and pulled me back onto the couch. I sat on the couch as he turned off the tv. I patted the cushion next to me to tell him to sit. He gave me a questioning look and sat next to me. 
I flipped my leg around and crawled into his lap, facing him. He rested his hands on my waist and leaned up to kiss me. I put my hands on the sides of his head and deepened our kiss. He licked my bottom lip, asking for my permission. I parted my lips and he slipped his tongue into my mouth. There was no “battle for dominance”. There was him, just this gorgeous man exploring my mouth for the umpteenth time. 
We broke from the kiss and I buried my head in his shoulder, slowly starting to rock my hips against his lap. I took in the scent of his cologne, it was the same cologne I had bought him for his birthday. It was my favorite on him and the fact that he uses it almost everyday makes me feel so many emotions, most of which I had never even grown up with. 
He groaned as I grinded against him faster, I could feel his very obvious hard-on through his pants. He matched my grinding with his and used my hips to direct me the way he wanted. “God I love you” He mumbled into my ear, I tried to giggle but moaned as he put his hands up my shirt and kneaded my breasts. It had been a while since we were this intimate due to him being busy with the league but I was glad I had caught him on a day off. 
He suddenly picked me up bridal style and carried me to my bedroom. He laid me on the bed and stood in between my thighs as I wrapped my legs around him. He slid my shirt over my head and un clipped my bra and started sucking on my sensitive buds. (I’m literally so high rn) I put my hands in his hair and tugged slightly, moaning his name.
”Nngh- T-Tomura, I n-need you” He looked up at me and stood straight, slipping my leggings and underwear off my legs. “Do you baby? Because you seemed to be doing fine earlier” He unbuckled his pants and pulled them down along with his boxers. He aligned with my entrance and I was waiting for the immense pleasure soon to follow but there was nothing. I looked up at him and saw him smirking at me, whilst not moving. 
“W-what the hell. babe come on, pleaseee” I groaned with anticipation, trying to squirm but he quickly put his hands on my thighs, stopping any movement from me. “aghh Tomura I don’t know what you’re trying to do- OH GOD” I was mid sentence when he suddenly trust his member in me as fast as it seemed like he could. He groaned as he thrusted into me again and again “Oh baby you’re so tight” 
Our moans filled the whole apartment as he never showed any sign of slowing down. I gripped the sheets and tried to match his movements but he kept me in his grip. That’s when I knew I was his for tonight, and I loved every second of it. With every deep thrust, his member hit my core just at the right spot where every time I feel like I’m going to burst from pleasure. My eyes rolled back into my head, waiting for my upcoming climax.
He stopped moving. My eyes snapped to him. 
“Get on the bed on all fours for me baby” He said in a low octave that he usually had during our more intimate interactions and I feel like he knows it turns me on. I crawled onto the bed on all fours as instructed. He came up behind me and before I could even say anything snarky he once again thrust his member into me before I could even react. I buried my face in my pillow and matched his pace, pushing my ass into him. 
He rubbed my ass sensually as his pace quickened. “mmm baby I’m close” he groaned. I nodded in my pillow and tried not to make the loudest sound I could. I could feel my climax rounding the corner. 
I gasped and made an almost scream sound as I came around his dick. His pace slowed as he busted in me. He pulled out a few seconds after and I laid on my side, him following suit. 
“I missed you” I mumbled into his chest as he pulled me closer. He rubbed simple shapes on my back and kissed my forehead. 
“I missed you too baby.” I giggled and looked at him, pecking his lips.
”I think it’s safe to say you won the tie”
Ahhhahh i’m so fucking high right noww. I’ll most likely add a note at the top when I get off the high so whatever my sensible self says, listen lmaoooo
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ibelongtowrath · 3 years
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Come Closer - Satan x Reader (Obey Me!)
Happy birthday Satan! I wanted to write something as my little gift to him. So please have my alternate ending to his UR+ Devilgram story. Contains slight spoilers for Satan’s UR+ Devilgram story, “Caves Require Caution”. Pairing: Satan x F!Reader Word Count: ~4.2k Tags/Warnings: 18+/NSFW, hair pulling / oral sex / face-fucking / vaginal sex / rough sex / slight degradation
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There’s sunlight. 
You never thought you would see the sun in the Devildom. You shake your head slightly, reminding yourself that it’s just magic, but it doesn’t matter. The warmth, the light kissing your skin as the tide laps gently at your feet, the ocean breeze rolling off the waves and caressing your face: you take it all in, savoring every single moment. Your arms open wide, eager to embrace the siren song of the sea, calling to you; you hadn’t realized how much you missed this.
“Come. We’re almost there,” Satan beckons, waving you closer to him.
“Um…,” you hesitate, looking back towards the distant shore, suddenly feeling a bit apprehensive.
“Would you prefer to be back there with the rest of my brothers, playing swimming games for hours?” Satan asks, though his tone suggests he is teasing. “Mammon hadn’t taken his eyes off of you for even a split second since we arrived. I am thoroughly surprised he has not taken to running for the hills, calling your name when he notices you’re gone.”
 Your eyes land upon the other six demons, happily shouting at each other and swimming; everyone except for Lucifer, that is, who stands with his arms crossed, shaking his head. Unable to help but laugh at the scene, you chuckle, smiling as you turn your attention back to the handsome blonde demon leading you towards what appears to be a hidden cave just off the shore. Waves lap gently nearby the entrance, the sand wet this far up indicating high tide is drawing near, but neither you nor he appears to notice.
The distraction of his brothers let Satan to get ahead of you, almost at the entrance to the cave, and your eyes slide to the taut, well-defined muscles of his back, his strong shoulder blades standing out and flexing slightly as he moves with purpose. It was the first time you had ever seen the demon, who always had his nose in a book, in only a swimsuit, and you had been as surprised as everyone else to discover what he had been so carefully hiding under that sweater and ill-fitting jacket that he refused to wear properly. 
Satan’s body had proven difficult to take your eyes off of, and he noticed the way your gaze lingered; his gaze, too, had lingered on your own body, taking in the curve of your waist and your hips, and the way your breasts bounced when you ran into the ocean. Deciding he wants you alone with him, he invited you to explore a small cavern he had discovered the last time he visited Diavolo’s magic beach eons ago, ecstatic to hear your lovely voice and beautiful head nodding in agreement.
Mind returning to the present moment, and as though he can feel your gaze upon him, Satan turns around then, flashing you a cheeky grin. Your face grows furiously hot, and not because the sun is relentlessly beating down upon you. Gesturing you closer, you pick up your pace, eager to see what he has planned for you. The pounding of your heart in your chest increases just a bit as you approach him and look carefully around before standing at the mouth of the cave.
“No need to worry,” Satan reassures you, sensing your unease. “It is perfectly safe. I have been here before. I explored it a few hundred years ago, when Diavolo created this beach.”
“If you say so,” you answer, hesitantly, feeling a bit doubtful as you peer into the darkened cave. 
Thankfully, some sunlight pours in, adding just enough light in the cave to be able to navigate through. Satan places a hand on your back, guiding you into the cavern; the gesture means to serve as a comforting touch, but instead makes you start in surprise, goosebumps darting across the expanse of your skin. He chuckles, taking his hand off of you.
“Feeling a little cold?” Satan teases with a wink.
The rush of blood to your cheeks causes your face to grow ever hotter, and you swear that if you start to blush even harder, you might just burst into flames. He chuckles softly once more, reaching for your hand to gently guide you forward into the cave, to bring you to the secret nook he had discovered all those years ago. Almost reluctantly, you follow the demon further in, turning back to the mouth of the cave one final time before heading deeper inside. The air grows a bit colder, more damp; the sand beneath your feet moist, making impressions of your footprints with each step.
Eventually - you’re unsure of exactly how much time later - Satan lets go of your hand, letting it drop to your side. He turns to face you, enthusiastically grinning; his face so full of glee, he looks slightly boyish, and you can’t help but to feel your face stretch into a happy smile of your own, his excitement contagious.
“Isn’t this great?” Satan asks you, taking both your hands in his.
“Um...yes?” you reply, smiling softly. “If you think it’s great, then I do too.”
“Glad to hear so,” he laughs.  Giving you a twirl before letting both of your hands go, Satan smiles softly at you.
“I discovered this little hideaway in this cave when Diavolo first created this beach hundreds of years ago, to get away from Lucifer,” Satan explains, gesturing around.
He points to a large rock jutting out from the far south wall. “It even comes with a reading nook. Absolutely perfect!”
“But you didn’t bring any books with you, did you?” you hear yourself tease. Resisting the urge to clap your hand over your mouth at your slight brazenness, you look up at Satan, flashing him a sheepish smile instead.
“This is true,” he agrees, “I don’t have any of my favorite tomes to keep myself occupied for the moment… but I suppose I do have an adorable kitten I can play with.”
He winks. Oh, fuck. The blush returns, strong as ever, and you find yourself surprised to not be bursting into flames on the spot.
“I-I suppose so,” comes your stammering voice in reply, bringing a hand up to cup your own cheek. It’s furiously hot, almost feverishly so. Your heart begins to race in your chest at the potential implication behind his words, and you pray that he can’t hear how hard it pounds beneath your rib cage above the gentle lull of the waves lapping near the entrance.
Satan tucks a stray piece of hair behind your ear, his cheeky grin returning. His hand moves to cup your cheek, and the beat of your heart increases tenfold, as though someone is behind the wheel, revving the engine while in park. He, too, feels the beating of his own heart grow faster with each moment as his jewel-toned gaze moves to lock into yours, your beautiful face in his hand. His thumb moves to stroke your bottom lift softly, featherlight, barely touching the skin as he swallows.
“I’m happy to spend time alone with you, MC,” Satan murmurs, “away from all of my brothers. You look beautiful in that swimsuit.”
“I-I’m glad too,” you agree. “A-and, you look amazing as well. Wow. I-”
“-didn’t expect the bookworm to be so fit?” he finishes for you, his voice lilting in a tease. “I do work out, you know. Perhaps, we simply need to get to know each other more.”
“Yes, perhaps.”
Your eyes study his, the beautiful jade irises, the same color as the tropical ocean surrounding you outside, dare you to get lost in them. The temptation is raw, real, as you find yourself begin to give in, simply unable to look away. Satan finds himself in the same predicament, not wanting to tear his eyes away from yours, or your beautiful features: the curve of your cheek, the soft fullness of your lips, the enchanting shine of your eyes. Suddenly, he moves his gaze back towards the entrance of the cave, and your head turns, following his eyes to see where he is looking. The cavern suddenly feels cooler, a bit darker, and your eyes widen in fear.
“Kitten…,” Satan begins, trailing off. “I think our exit has been blocked.”
“Blocked?” You repeat the word in surprise. Satan shakes his head as he strokes your hair again, pulling you closer to him.
“It appears as though the tide has come in,” he explains. “High tide has reached the cave, and the entrance is blocked by water. It shouldn’t reach us in here, so we should be safe. However…”
“Yes?”
“The tides ebb and flow in six-hour cycles. That means we will be unable to exit from the cave until it is the low tide cycle, in about six hours or so.”
“Six hours?” If your eyes widen any further, they may just pop right out of your head. Six hours alone with Satan? It is difficult to tell whether your body sings with excitement or anticipation...or perhaps both.
“Six hours, just about,” Satan repeats. “We will be safe, not to worry. However, I worry about you, kitten. I don’t want you getting cold, and you are hardly wearing anything.”
Reaching for your hand, he laces his fingers through yours, leading you to the structure by the wall and gesturing for you to sit. You follow, sitting on the cool rock; Satan sits next to you, bare thigh to bare thigh. A shiver runs down your spine at his touch, feeling his body so close to yours, more goosebumps erupting down your arms and legs. He frowns as you shudder, wrapping an arm around your shoulders, pulling your body in towards his.
“Sharing body heat is a good solution to keep you warm,” he explains. “Lay your head on my shoulder. Relax. I will keep you safe.”
Resting your hands in your lap, you lay your head on Satan’s shoulder, surprised at how soft his skin feels, the closeness of him and the intimacy of the gesture soothing your nerves and racing heart. He moves his hand closer by your neck, stroking your hair softly.
“Your skin is warm, kitten,” he murmurs. “Your heart is beating faster. Are you, perhaps, nervous?”
You lift your head to meet his eyes, and he notices the hesitant shine glinting in the fading light of the sun. Moving his hand from your hair, Satan places a few fingers under your chin, gently lifting your face to look up at his. He studies your lips, so full, so soft, so enticing; unable to stop himself, he finds his eyelids fluttering, moving his head closer to yours, pausing, his lips now mere inches from your own.
“Kitten…,” he breathes.
Satan crashes his lips against yours. His kiss is soft at first, just barely pressing against your own, as if testing the waters. He pulls back before kissing you again, a bit firmer, holding the kiss for a few seconds. When they leave yours, you find yourself hungry for more, aching to feel him as much as possible. You hook an arm behind his head, threading your fingers into his soft blonde locks, pulling his head down to yours. Your kiss is more fervent than his, a bit more lustful; mouth slightly open, and he can feel the desire burning behind it, his own twisting through his veins as he kisses you back. His tongue meets yours in a desirous dance, massaging the muscles over one another as your lips continue to bruise against his.
“Fuck, Kitten,” Satan murmurs against your skin.
Biting your bottom lip as he pulls away, the demon stands before you, pulling you to stand with him. His mouth finds yours in just mere seconds, backing you slowly against the wall, the space between your bodies nonexistent. Your leg hooks around his waist, and he groans, placing one hand behind your neck as the other traces softly along your thigh before moving to your hip, gripping you tightly. A moan escapes your lips into his, heart slamming into your chest, the driver pushing the pedal to the metal as the race begins.
“Fuck,” Satan curses once more, pressing himself ever closer. 
His cock twitches beneath his bathing suit, the hardened member straining against the constricting fabric, his desire more than obvious, pressed against the soft skin of your thigh. He groans louder, not bothering to conceal the way he feels, mind clouding over with thoughts of spreading your legs and ramming into you without abandon, chasing his release. The hand gripping your hip trails slowly upward, traveling along the generous curve of your waist, his movements graceful like a skilled cartographer outlining the sensual map of your body. Fingers slip under the band of your bikini top, gliding slowly over the soft mound of your breast. 
A wanton gasp falls from your lips onto his, and he grins, finally but reluctantly pulling his mouth from yours to rest at the junction of your neck and shoulder, biting into the sensitive skin there and sucking on it, eager to leave a mark. Again, you shudder at the touch, your moan more lewd this time, more sensual, and Satan can’t get enough. How badly he wants to hear you sing for him, coaxing those delicious sounds out of you as he gives in to satiate the hunger growing within, between your hips and his own. He knows you feel the fire too, the way your head drops back when he squeezes your breast, rolling the hardened bud of your nipple between his thumb and his forefinger.
“I was mistaken,” Satan purrs against your skin. “It appears I don’t have an adorable kitten with me. Quite the opposite. It appears as though I have a very naughty kitten on my hands. Isn’t that right?”
The demon continues to grope your breast, savoring your lewd cry of pleasure that rings out against the stillness of the cave in response.
“My, my, pet. If you moan any louder, and I’m going to think you want to be found before we get to enjoy our time alone.”
Removing his hand from your breast, Satan trails it down your body, slowly, tantalizing. You bring your head forward as your chest rises and falls rapidly, your breaths panting, fueled by unadulterated want and need. Your body teems with sensual desire, and you can feel the wetness between your legs, soaking into the flimsy fabric of your bathing suit bottoms. Satan’s hand travels down the expanse of your torso, gliding over your abdomen, causing you to inhale sharply. Every nerve ending in your body is alight with electricity, and each trace of his touch sparks against your skin, making you want more and more.
What feels like eons later, though in actuality is a mere few seconds stretched across the delicate flow of time, his hand stops just above the drawstring bottoms strung low on your hips. A dark grin twists his handsome features into a teasing look, drinking in the way you look at him, as though you may burst at any second. 
“Such a good pet,” Satan purrs, gripping the back of your neck just a little tighter. “I can see just how badly you want me, with that look on your face. If only I could freeze it forever, it’s so fucking sexy.”
Savoring the moment just a little while longer, his hand slips beneath the waistband, teasing at the delicate skin there as another lust-filled gasp falls from your lips. His fingers move further down, and he moans loudly, unable to stop himself as he feels your abundant wetness, all for him. He rubs at your clit, the wet, swollen bundle of nerves practically begging for his touch. Your hand drops from his hair to his back, raking your nails down the taut muscle of his shoulder blades as your head drops forward, moaning into his neck. Smirking, he slides two fingers inside your core, pumping and curling them slowly, wanting to drive you absolutely wild.
“I knew you wanted me as soon as I caught you staring back on the beach,” Satan says breathily, his voice thick and dripping with lust, filled with honey. “Rest assured, I want you just as badly, my sweet kitten.”
Satan moves his hand from your neck to find your own, bringing it to the front of his swim trunks where his cock continues to strain against them. He pulls his other hand from between your legs, and you release a needy whine at the loss, aching to feel him inside you. Stepping back, his cheeky grin returns as he gestures to his bathing suit.
“Won’t you be a good girl, kitten, and take these off for me?” he prompts, beckoning you towards him.
“Yes, of course,” you hear yourself say, your voice barely above a whisper.
“Excellent.”
Standing from the rock, you sink to your knees in the sand before him. Your hands reach to the waistband of his swim trunks, dipping your fingers just underneath before pulling them down slowly. His cock is finally freed, and you eye it hungrily, just barely stopping yourself from leaning forward to take him into your mouth, your cheeks hollowing around him as he slams into the back of your throat…
“What’s the matter, kitten?” Satan prods, looking down at you. He knows exactly what you’re thinking, and he’s more than happy to indulge.
“So hungry, so needy for my cock, hm?” he continues. “Naughty thing. Here I was, trying to keep you warm until the tide recedes… but you’re just a needy little slut, simply salivating at the chance for me to fuck you as soon as an opportunity is presented to you. I’m more than happy to oblige, pet, but first… show me you deserve my cock.”
Wrapping his fingers into your hair, Satan yanks on it, forcing your head up to look at his. His free hand moves to his cock, wrapping around it and stroking himself as he pulls your head closer, resting the tip against your lips.
“Open your mouth,” he commands, groaning as he watches you comply. “Good girl.”
Pleased with your obedience, Satan pats your head, stroking your hair a few times before plunging his cock deep into the back of your throat, and hard. The sudden intrusion causes the muscles of your throat to protest, causing you to gag, tears running down your face. His grip on your hair tightens, snapping his hips into your face at a relentless pace, head dropping back in pleasure at the feeling of his cock slamming deep into your mouth, your head moving in perfect tandem with the frenzied rhythm of his thrusts.
“Oh, fuck, kitten,” he husks, barely suppressing a groan of pleasure. 
Satan continues his movements for a little while longer before pulling himself out of your mouth slowly, panting heavily. You feel yourself gasping, inhaling sharply, running your tongue over your reddened, swollen lips, dampened with saliva. Using his grip on your hair, he yanks you up to standing, pulling you in for a deep kiss, dancing his tongue with yours.
“Such a good girl,” he praises, tracing his thumb over your lip. “Now…”
His hands move to untie the strings of your bottoms, letting them drop to the ground.
“Keep being a good girl for me, kitten, and turn around,” Satan instructs.
Nodding, you obey his command, turning around slowly. He presses against you, chest to your back, teasing his cock at your slick entrance. Your body aches for him, practically quivering in anticipation. Grabbing both of your wrists, he raises them above you, effectively forcing you to bend over as he slides his cock into you, moaning as he settles into your constricting warmth.
“Fuck, kitten,” Satan moans. “You’re so hot, wet, and tight for me. I can feel you throbbing. Your tight little pussy is just begging for my cock to stretch your aching hole, isn’t it?”
Not bothering to wait for your response, he snaps his hips into you without warning, setting a fast, frenzied pace. His free hand reaches up towards your shoulder, and he digs his nails into your skin, raking them down harshly, leaving angry red scratches in their wake. A high-pitched pleasurable cry, practically bordering on an absolute scream of pleasure, tears from your throat, pushing your hips back against his to match his cadence, the sound of skin smacking against skin echoing throughout the cavern. Satan growls at the sounds, savoring the way your body sings for him, the sound rumbling deep in his chest as he leans over you.
“Such a noisy thing, aren’t you?” he rumbles into your ear, warm breath tickling your skin as you shudder. “Do you want them to find us?”
“N-no, I-” you start to cry out in response, finding your words cut off as Satan yanks your hair roughly, forcing your head to turn as your eyes meet his.
“No? To me, kitten, it appears as though you’d enjoy being found, being fucked into like this, your slutty little body being used as my own personal cocksleeve.”
Satan nips your ear, bringing his free hand to press two fingers at your lips.
“Open your mouth and suck,” he commands. “Perhaps that will keep you quiet.”
Obediently, your mouth opens, taking in his fingers eagerly. Your moans and gasps of pleasure are muted as your tongue runs over his fingers, licking them up and down, closing your mouth around them and moving your head over them.
“That’s a good girl,” Satan purrs.
Thrusts growing more frenzied by the second, a growl sounds from deep within his chest; louder this time, teeming with twisted, carnal desire as he furiously chases his release. Eager to coax out your own, he loosens his hold on your hair, sliding his hand down between your legs to rub your slick, swollen clit, eliciting a delicious, muted moan. Satan rubs faster, his mouth finding purchase on your neck, sinking his teeth in, pounding into you harder and harder.
“A-ah! Mmph!”
Your cries nearly push Satan over the edge, and he ruts into you desperately, his release drawing nearer with each passing second. You can feel the telltale tightening of your pelvic muscles around his cock, signaling your oncoming release, and his moans grow louder, more high-pitched, not bothering to attempt to conceal his own sounds of pleasure. 
“I changed my mind, kitten. I want to hear you positively scream for me as I bring you to places of ecstasy, your cries of pleasure drawing the attention of all my brothers,” he growls. “Perhaps they will walk in as I am still fucking you, and we can show them just whose pet you are as they listen to my name falling helplessly from your lips in the throes of release. Mine.”
Pulling his fingers from your mouth, he raises the arm back, bringing a hand down sharply to smack your ass. The loud crack of your skin rings out against the still quiet of the cavern, save for the sinful sounds of hips snapping into hips, skin against skin; hissing in pain as the sting of the smack burns into your skin, you turn your head to look at Satan, meeting his gaze as you begin to speak.
“Yes, I will,” you breathe. “I will scream your name until my throat protests, and I cannot any longer…”
“Good girl.”
Satan’s praising words come out as a hungry snarl, so close to release, the fire pooling low in his stomach, between his hips. Rubbing your clit harder, faster, he moves faster still, animalistic in the way he continues to thrust into you, so close.
“Cum for me, my pretty little sex kitten,” Satan rumbles.
As though on command, your orgasm washes over you in waves of pleasure. Your body shudders, head dropping back as a loud scream tears from your throat, the two syllables of his name falling endlessly from your lips, digging your nails into the palms of your hands. 
Satan drops his head back, moaning loudly, relishing the sounds of your screams slicing through the tranquil air surrounding you. His own release finds him as your walls grip his cock perfectly, growling into your ear one final time as he fills you with his seed, pumping into you until the feeling begins to ebb, the sun beginning to sink under the horizon behind you as hazy twilight fills the cavern.
Pressing a kiss to your shoulder, Satan releases your wrists from his grip, chest heaving as he pants heavily against your back. He rises slowly, straightening himself, pulling you up gently with him and wrapping his arms around your waist. Kissing your cheek, he grins, still panting.
“Well, fuck, kitten,” Satan breathes. “Perhaps I’ll have to sneak you away from my brothers more often. Now, let’s get dressed, in case someone did hear and plans to come rescue us.”
Moving to reach for his swim trunks discarded a few feet away, a phone ringing shrilly suddenly rings out. Your eyes widen, watching Satan reach into the pocket of his bathing suit to pull out his D.D.D., Mammon’s name flashing across the screen.
“You had your phone this whole time?” you ask incredulously.
“Sometimes, even a demon as intelligent as me forgets things, especially in the company of such a beautiful, naughty little kitten,” Satan answers simply, shrugging his shoulders with a sheepish grin.
Sliding his thumb across the screen to answer Mammon’s call, Satan brings it up to his ear, grinning and winking at you as he pulls his bathing suit up over his hips.
“Mammon? Yes, MC and I are in the cavern, stuck in high tide…”
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Stress
[(Platonic) TFP! Optimus Prime x Reader]
A/N: So this was just a little vent fic I needed to do since school is going to start up tomorrow and I am not ready for it. Sorry if it's bad, but then again, it's a vent fic. Also I finally decided to watch Transformers Prime and I really like it.
Ah yes, it was back to school day. Winter break had unfortunately passed by way too quickly for anyone’s liking, but what else could they do? For you, the first day was always so dreadful. At least you only have one more year left before you enter college. Until then, you were stuck with kids you didn’t want to be around, dreadful school lunch, and assignment anxiety. Luckily, you got to go to school with Jack and Miko. You never really knew them at first but after getting caught up in an incident between the Decepticons and Autobots, you got to meet Raf and soon, your bonds with them grew (the Fearsome Foursome as Miko would call you guys). 
It was your last period before school ended. You were absolutely waiting for the moment when you got to ride with Optimus, as he was your guardian. Sure, he was a busy ‘Bot, but he always managed to make time with you. You stared out the window at the driveway, feeling excited with which shenanigan was going to take place today. But you were suddenly pulled out of your thoughts when you hear your name get called by the teacher.
“[Y/N], do you have your assignment?” The teacher questioned as she had a stack of papers resting in her arms. Oh, son of a- you’ve forgotten to do your assignment throughout the break since you were too caught up in having fun with your friends. Then again, who the hell assigns homework on winter break? It’s called a break for a reason. Twiddling your thumbs guiltily, you shook your head no and swallowed a lump in your throat. Please don’t get detention, please don’t get detention, please-
“[Y/N] you had all of winter break to finish your assignment. You’re a 12th grader, please be more responsible. You have detention after class.” She said as she went to her desk and put the sheets of paper down. You could feel your cheeks burn with embarrassment as you heard the teacher resume the class and lesson. Oh great, you lost homework credit and got detention. That assignment had 50 points and it went down the drain! Welp, guess it was time to say goodbye to your grade. You felt a cloud of pessimism shadow over your head as you did your best to pay attention to what was on the whiteboard. Time slowly passed by and finally, the school bell rang. As the students rushed out of the classroom, you slowly made your way out of the room as well and instead of walking out of school, you walked to the detention room. You gave a quick message to  Jack to tell the others that you were in detention. Once the text had been sent, you entered the detention classroom and sat all the way in the back row, next to the big window. 
For some reason, time seemed to drag on even more slowly. There were a few students in the room, but they were either asleep or doing their homework. You might as well do your homework as well since there was nothing else to do. As you fetched your utensils and the sheet of work, in the corner of your eye you saw a blue and red semi-truck waiting on the driveway. You couldn’t tell, but you could feel the old leader’s gaze resting on you through the window. You prayed with all your might to not get lectured tonight since you weren’t in the mood for it. You know that he means well, but it was still irritating. Clicking your pen, you looked back down at your paper and tried to solve an equation. Unfortunately, with the heavy gaze still on you and the worry of his lecture and disappointment, you got little to nothing done on your work.
Once you were able to leave, you packed all of your stuff and quickly left the building, soon making your way towards the semi-truck. You kept your eyes on the ground as the door flung open and you entered the passengers side. As soon as the door slammed shut, the engine came to life and you two made your way back to the base. The ride was pretty quiet as your hands rested on your lap. You refused to look away from your lap and continued to brace yourself for the lecture.
“[Y/N]...” Ah, there it was. After a moment passed by, you looked up at the radio and waited for him to continue. “Jack told me that you had detention. Care to explain why?”
Ah scrap, here we go again. You sunk into your seat and crossed your arms before answering his question. “Um, I forgot to do my assignment. That’s it, I swear.”
You could hear a faint sigh coming from his radio, though you couldn’t tell if it was a sigh of relief or a sigh of disappointment. No other words were exchanged as the ride continued on. After some more time passed by, you two were back at the base. You grabbed your backpack and got out as Optimus transformed out of his vehicle mode. You looked up at him as he looked down at you, his expression unreadable. You then went on to make your way towards the couch upstairs, but you were stopped once you heard Optimus’ voice once again.
“[Y/N], please take caution on when your assignments are due. I worry that you won’t be able to graduate at this rate.”
There wasn’t much to say at that statement. You just gave him another guilty look and nod before continuing to make your way towards the couch. You could hear Miko tease about you getting attention while Jack told her off. Raf offered help for your homework, but you politely declined. As the trio went down to hang out with the other bots, you stayed at the couch and twirled the pen in between your fingers as you tried to complete your homework. Okay, maybe you did need help. Though,  it was too late to ask for any just as you went on to decline it. Your pride got in your way once more. Plus, Raf was having fun with the others and you didn’t want to spoil that. The dark cloud that loomed over your head had yet to disappear but instead, it continued to grow as each second passed by. You furrowed your eyebrows and glared intensely at the equation you were stuck on. If it were possible, there would’ve been a hole going straight through your homework as your stare was that intense. For some goddamn reason, you couldn’t concentrate on anything. Your mind and thoughts kept jumping from the time you got detention to the time you had your ride with Optimus. It was honestly very frustrating and you could blow up with anger at any given second. The sounds of the ‘Bots and your friends having fun at the other side of base didn’t help you either. 
Eventually, you tossed the pen on the table and leaned back into the couch. You stared up at the ceiling above you and let out a deep sigh. Ratchet took notice of your sigh and took a brief moment to look at you. You looked utterly exhausted while your eyebrows were still knitted together. The medic raised an optic and questioned you.
“Is there something wrong, [Y/N]? You look like you’re about to fall apart at any second.”
Lazily, you moved your head to the side and looked at him. By now, you were too tired to even give him a weak, reassuring smile. You just had to hope that Ratchet trusted your word. “No worries, everything is under control.” He didn’t believe you.
“Doesn’t look like it. Are you having problems with your homework? Optimus told me about  what happened earlier.”
Of course he would know. You were embarrassed once more and looked back up at the ceiling. You sighed once more and nodded your head, telling him that you were having problems. Ratchet let out a small hum and called for Raf. After you heard the mention of the little boy’s name, your body snapped straight up and you looked at Ratchet with panic. Before you could protest, Raf was with you. You meant no ill intent or offense towards the boy, but you couldn’t believe that you were getting help from a 12 year old.
“[Y/N] needs help with their homework.” Ratchet simply says before going back to work.
Raf nods and sits down next to you. “So, what do you need help with?”
Grabbing the sheet of paper in front of you, you showed him what you needed help on. You then stop him before you could begin solving the equation. “It’s not that I don’t know how to solve it. It’s just...it’s kinda hard to concentrate, y’know? I think I’m having one of those days.”
And Raf did understand. Everyone had one of those days where they couldn’t focus. But that didn’t make you stupid. All you wanted to do was spend time with the others, especially Optimus since one, he was your guardian. And two, Decepticon activity has been exceptionally high lately and even though he picks you up from school almost every single day, you still wanted to be with him.
“I understand, but maybe you should take a break before getting back to work. It helps a lot.” Raf suggested but you politely declined. You explained how you wanted to just get everything over with so you could hang out with the others as soon as possible. He wanted to insist, yet he respected your decision. As some time went on, you still couldn’t focus on what was happening. The young boy continued to try to explain to you the equation, but in the end you gave up. Optimus had just finished his duties and returned to the base. He laid his optics upon you and made his way towards you. Now, he could fully see the frustration and irritation written on your face as you aggressively clicked your pen.
“Is something the matter, [Y/N]?” The old Bot asked.
“[Y/N]’s having a hard time concentrating. We haven’t even finished a single problem yet.” Raf answered for you.
“Hmm, I see. [Y/N], get ready. We’re going for a drive.”
You stopped clicking your pen and looked over to Optimus, who was already in his vehicle form. Your shoulders dropped and you tossed the pen back on the table before standing up and stretching your body. You then looked back at the young boy and gave a weak but kind smile. “I’ll be back soon. Just make sure Miko doesn’t spill anything on my homework.” You tell him before waving and making your way back down.
Once you entered the vehicle, he drove his way out of the base and went outside. It was starting to become night time and there was a lovely sunset on the horizon. The gloomy cloud that was now a storm started to drift away from your head and you could feel yourself relax. It was quiet, but you liked it. One of the many things you could appreciate from Optimus was that you two would just have comfortable silences together and you loved it. You tapped on the window and signalled for him to roll it down and once he did, you stuck your head out and rested your chin on top of the door. The breeze nicely hit your face and ran through your hair. Everything was instantly better now. It was quiet for a while, but Optimus finally decided to talk to you after seeing how relaxed you are now.
“It seems that you are calm now. I’m glad that I could be of some use.” He chuckled. “Is there anything on your mind? Anything you want to...vent, as you call it?”
It took a moment for you to reply. You were contemplating on whether to tell him or not. You didn’t want to bring him down with your problems yet then again, you could really vent out right now. And so you did.
“I- um, I don’t know why, but it’s just so difficult for me to focus. I can’t focus in class, on my homework, and I couldn’t even finish a single problem. I’m always so forgetful and even when I set up reminders on my phone and what not, I always forget. I don’t get or understand why. Is there something wrong with me? Am I just dumb?”
At this question, Optimus slowed down and came to a full stop. Thankfully, the two of you were in the middle of nowhere. If he could, he would place you on his shoulder while stargaze under the night sky. Unfortunately, he would be at risk of getting his cover blown.
“You are not dumb. Having trouble focusing or remembering does not make you dumb. But if you truly feel that there is something wrong with you, I highly recommend that you either see Ratchet or another professional. Just know that the Autobots and the other children will be here to support you. I know that things may seem tough right now, but you must trudge through. Things will get better soon, I promise you.”
Just like that, your worries melted away. Optimus has never broken a promise and he doesn’t plan on breaking one any time soon. You know that you can trust him and you’ve taken every one of his words to heart. Nothing else needed to be said as a relieved smile entered your face. You leaned back into the seat and rested the temple of your head against the door before shutting your eyes.
“Thank you, Optimus. Thank you for being here for me.”
“Always, [Y/N].”
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fireflyjunkie · 3 years
Text
FEEL SOMETHING
(A Sanders sides Angst one-shot fic)
Part 1
4,391 words
⚠️TRIGGER WARNING⚠️
Razor blades
Self harm
Gore
Numbness
Logan angst
Confrontation on self harm suspicions
Summary:
Logan is tired of being the cold, emotionless robot that everyone perceives him as. He’s repressed his emotions to such a great extent that he genuinely doesn’t feel anything major anymore. He does have his nightly break-downs sometimes, but he needs more than that.
However, this is where roads begin to cross. Logan feels that it would be nice and beneficial to experience strong emotions, but he doesn’t know if this feeling is stronger than his fear of expressing such things. Being viewed as a joke and not being taken seriously is his worst nightmare. Because of this, the logical side just keeps up his stone cold front to avoid being weak.
This dilemma Logan had found himself in really frustrated him. No matter how hard he tried to think of a solution, nothing ever satisfied both ends of the spectrum. The best he had come up with was to keep up the front when he was with the others and then let himself break down at night when no one was around, and even that didn’t help him nearly as much as he wished. This eventually led him to looking for answers online. One search led to another, and Logan has figured out something that might help him. It’s a bit risky, and he’ll have to hide it from the others, but he knows how to be safe with it, so he’ll give it a shot just to feel something.
•———————————————————————-•
Part 1
6:34pm
 Logan was sitting at the dinner table with his three friends as they ate their meal. Nothing unusual about the evening, they had their casual little chats and the occasional playful banter from Roman and Virgil, with Patton butting in every so often. Logan kept his focus all on the plate of food in front of him. The paternal figure had worked hard to make this, he wasn’t going to let it get cold. Plus even if he wanted to join the conversation, he wouldn’t even know what to say. Sure he was the logical side and he had a heap of facts to spit but when it comes to the jovial friendly conversations the others usually shared. He truly couldn’t find the words to contribute something meaningful into the atmosphere, so other than correcting a false statement, he kept silent.
“Now Virgil, I’m just saying that a kid would be much more excited to watch a movie like Alice in wonderland and we all know it!” Roman exclaimed to the emo sitting across the table from him. It’s not at all surprising that the current conversation taking place was one about Disney. Especially when it was Virgil and Roman who were the ones bickering. “I mean all the bright colors and such a classic story is bound to win a kid over!”
“Uhuh sure, like kids would want to watch a film about a bunch of mentally ill people on an acid trip. Plus, the queen of hearts is scary for them,” Virgil retorts, glaring at Roman before taking a bite of his food. “The princess and the frog is clearly a superior movie. It’s about an independent hard working woman who doesn’t need a man to help her achieve her goals, like are you kidding me? And she helps him out, that is a nice change for once.”
“Yea I cannot argue with that, we stan Tiana,” Roman admits, leaning back in his chair. Logan was about to question the prince about the term he just used, but decided against it, keeping quiet.
“But the shadow man is scary!” Roman continues.
“Uh, no. ’I’ve got friends on the other side’ is such a bop. But I am one of the friends on the other side,” Virgil pulls his signature 2000’s MySpace emo face. ‘Bop’. Logan remembers what that meant. He had to ask Roman about it later to make a vocabulary card.
“Oh my god can you get any edgier?” Roman asks the snickering Virgil across the table as he rolls his eyes and goes back to his food. The only thing Logan could think of at this time is how useless that conversation was. Their frivolous arguments had no solid points or evidence to back up their argument if they were trying to persuade the other. He chose not to say anything so as to not further encourage them. Instead he had just yet again kept quiet and his focus was on finishing his food so he could retire to his room.
“So Logan, are you almost finished with your work?” Logan’s head snapped up when the mention of his name came from Patton. ‘Work.. it was always work.’
“No, Patton. There are still a few tasks to be completed that need to be completed tonight,” Logan states, adding on that last bit so hopefully he isn’t bugged with having a ‘family night’ as Patton and the others like to call it. Which, it doesn’t make any sense considering the fact that none of us are actually related.
“Well, once you are done with that, do you wanna come watch a movie with us!?” The parental side excitedly asks. Logan internally cringed at Patton’s use of grammar, but more at his failed attempts at getting out of this without having to ask. It’s not that Logan didn’t like the others, it’s just that tonight specifically he wanted to be left alone. Sometimes spending time with them is considered a good thing to him because he knows that he needs to take breaks from his work sometimes and Patton gives him an excuse to do so. Also, knowing that Patton wants him there helps him feel less like a robot, but that feeling quickly returns when they don’t even care to ask him his opinions for the movie choice.
“Oh.. that’s ok! There’s always next time, right?” Patton sounded a little disappointed, but supportive nonetheless. “Well I wish you good luck with that, Logan!”
“Thank you, Patton,” Logan finishes the conversation while turning his attention back towards his almost empty plate.
The rest of the dinner went by as normal. They all took their dishes to the sink and Patton offered to help Roman complete the dishes and Virgil retired to his room for the night. Logan says his goodnights and follows suit to his own room.
After entering, Logan lightly shut his door and pressed his back against the cool wood. The lights were still off, so he sat in the inky black dark atmosphere staring at the ceiling in order to prevent the dark curtain draped over the contents of his room from playing tricks on his eyes. He didn’t bother finding the light switch; he felt it was unnecessary. It would only illuminate everything that reminded him of everything that burdens him. He hates not knowing.
The logical side leaned his head back against the door and squeezed his eyes shut, the blankness of the dark and the silence began to be too much for him; it made him feel too alone. With no senses available, you are left with nothing but your own thoughts to drown in. Nothing to do but to fall down that hole of endless thinking. Logan’s head swarmed with every emotion he was feeling at once. Every fact he wished wasn’t true danced behind his eyes and pounded on his skull demanding his attention.
Logan couldn’t help but let the tears run down his cheeks. They started rolling faster and he held his hand over his mouth, choking back a sob. He hated doing this, but he had to if he wanted to remain sane. He just felt so vulnerable and embarrassed. Logan felt his legs begin to shake so he slid down the door to sit on the floor. God he hopes no one comes to his room.
The logical side stayed on the floor like that for a while. He didn’t know how long, but he was surprised when he looked at his phone to find he had been there for almost thirty minutes. Once the crying had for the most part stopped and Logan realized that it didn’t really help at all, he decided to get up from his spot on the floor and turn on some lights. He had reached for the plug connected to fairy lights strung around his room and plugged it into the electrical socket, illuminating the whole space with a soft Caramel colored glow. The lights were a gift from Patton last Christmas, the parental figure had gotten some for everyone in the house. At first the logical side thought they were childish and impractical due to him already having a light in his room, but Patton persisted so he put them up and once he saw how they casted a honey coating to all the contents of his bedroom and how the atmosphere instantly shifted from sharp to calming and gentle, he decided that they weren’t that bad.
After his eyes had adjusted to the light, Logan walked into the bathroom that he has in his room and shut the door after turning on the light. The sudden contrast of the soft light of his room to the harsh light of the bathroom only worsened his growing headache so the first thing he did was retrieve the Ibuprofen from the medicine cabinet and swallow two. After that he took his glasses off and placed them on the side of the sink before proceeding to wash his face of tears with warm water from the faucet. After he patted his face dry with a towel, he took a minute to just look into the mirror. He took notice of his cold, dead eyes that were a navy blue, but despite being such a bright color, his eyes looked more dull and grey. ‘No wonder the others think I’m a metaphorical robot.” He thinks to himself. He decides not to stay there any longer or else Remus might hear him drowning in his thoughts and show up so he grabbed his glasses and started back towards his room.
Logan didn’t know what to do now. He’s already cried a bunch but that didn’t help. He just sat on the edge of his bed trying to figure things out. The laptop sitting closed and still in his desk caught his eye. ‘There may be an article on the internet explaining my situation.’ The logical side thought to himself before he got up and made his way towards his desk, pulling out the chair and sitting down. While he opened the device up and typed in his password, he thought about what he was going to type into the search bar. While the Google page displayed on his screen awaiting his questions, Logan’s fingers moved to type in the first one that came to mind; ‘How to feel when you are numb?’
Once he pressed enter, he proceeded to scroll for what he was looking for. He passed a bunch of articles about physical health and stuff like that. ‘Perhaps I worded it incorrectly?’ He thought to himself before seeing something that could potentially be what he was looking for. It was a link to a twitter post. It was titled ‘I don’t feel anything. I do this to feel something,’ and Logan thought that would suffice nicely to his needs. Though, the side wasn’t prepared for what he was going to see when he clicked it. Blood. Lots of blood. Cuts all up and down the poster’s forearm that could be recognized as dermis and epidermis level cuts. And finally, a bloodied double edge razor blade sitting calmly in a warm crimson pool on the counter top.
Logan gasped upon the image displayed in front of him. It wasn’t too intense but seeing a part of the human body all cut up didn’t make him feel too comfortable, but he was slightly intrigued. He was kind of confused why the gorey photo was related to what he was looking for so he decided to look into it further; only because the text part of the post seemed to relate a little to his state of mind.
The logical side scrolled down past a few more photos of the same cuts just at different angles. He kept observing the images while trying to think of where to go from here until he decided to use the tags the original poster had provided with the text to research further. He viewed 10 or so hashtags of random things to figure out what the point of this was. Some of them just confused the side, but one of the words he recognized from an article he read a few months ago when Roman fell into a deep depression and he tried to gather as much information as he could to help him because the others were worried and terrified for him. However, he never had to use much information because they had luckily gotten him out of that mental health decline before anything terrible happened. Well, at least to his knowledge. The tag in question reads as ‘self harm’. Now Logan felt a little stupid because he knew what this was before, but a little clarification never hurt anyone.
He had to admit, he was a little taken aback by the fact that what he was experiencing was linked and related to self harm but he decided to explore more under that subject to further understand it. When he clicked on the tag, he was exposed to pages and pages of self harm. He stopped at one particularly disturbing one. It was a video of a girl with a straight razor that resembled that of what a barber would use. In the video, she had pressed as hard as she could and with one clean swipe, the fat inside her arm was exposed. By this point, Logan was feeling a little sick to his stomach on account of what was displayed in front of him. The video however kept going. The girl dabbed the open wound with a white towel, so the amount of blood that was being soaked up was very visible. The girl picked the weapon up again and placed it in the center of the cut and proceeded to apply pressure while she dragged the blade along her arm at a painfully slow speed. When the pool of blood was soaked up, fascia was exposed and Logan really wanted to look away but he couldn’t. He vaguely understood the premise behind self harming, but witnessing it to this extent kind of confused and scared him.
Luckily the video stopped there and Logan closed it out and continued to scroll through the page. He did not find much there other than the pictures and videos of people cutting themselves and he was starting to feel more and more uncomfortable, almost like what he felt when he was under the effects of Virgil’s room; and for that reason he decided to close out this tab and search elsewhere. The logical side really didn’t know why he was so intrigued to this certain coping mechanism. He knew it was very unhealthy, but he couldn’t let it go.
After a few google searches about the topic of self harm and a few articles later, Logan found one specific body of text that piqued his interest. It was basically describing the effects self harming has on the brain and why so many people do it and says it helps. He read through it and the information he gathered was rather interesting to him. Basically, the context of the article was explaining the science behind why self harming was addictive and why some people do it in the first place.
‘So, cutting myself will release neurochemicals in my brain that mimics that of dopamine? Fascinating..’ Logan thinks to himself. The side takes a minute to think it through. Was he actually considering this? I mean, there is scientific evidence that proves that doing this will help him. Logan ponders a bit on that last point, basically pushing him to do it. He just resorts to searching for reasons not to go through with it at this point. Only two reasons came to his mind when he tried to think up reasons to push the thoughts out of his head. The first was the safety aspect of it. Of course when you are cutting yourself there are things that can go wrong; however Logan felt confident enough that he knew how to do this safely. He knew where the vital points were on the human body so he knew where it was safe to cut as well as how deep to go. He also knew how to properly dress the wounds and how to take care of them so they didn’t get infected so the logical side could figuratively throw that worry out the window.
The only factor that was left in play affecting Logan’s decision in going through with this is the guilt he would have to face if the others found out. With Patton having gone through a situation similar to this when Roman was having severe mental health issues and when Virgil ducked out, Logan would figuratively (and almost literally) have the blood on his hands just adding it to the list. He knows that Patton always tries his hardest to do things that make everyone as happy as they can be, and oh the lengths he would go to do that. Let’s just say that the parental side has had many sleepless nights on account of helping someone else. But surely if Patton had ever found out about all the things Logan hasn’t told him, it would make him feel like he hasn’t been enough for people even more than he already does, even and who knows what could happen to him when that happens and he lives knowing that three of his friends have been struggling.
Logan had to ponder on this one for a minute. But with him being logic and all, he brought up the point that the way Patton was thinking about things is untrue and if he had to, Logan with a little of Virgil’s help could sit down with him and possibly explain things in order to pull him from that mindset.
He quietly hummed to himself, feeling accomplished at finding a solution. This satisfied feeling quickly deteriorated as confusion began to spill. Why was he feeling this way about something so grim? Why was he so compelled to stand up to get that spare razor that lay waiting in the bathroom cupboard? He thought it was even irrational to consider doing such things but it just felt like something that could actually help him, and he needed it.
He didn’t know what made him do it, but something in him made him push himself out of his desk chair to shut his laptop without powering it off and making his way to the bathroom. Once inside, he quietly closed the bathroom door. He opened the door of the shadow box, but for some reason it felt super slow like in a dramatic movie. He didn’t know why his hands were shaky when he spotted the razor and went to gently pick it up.
Just then as he examined the weapon in his grip, he felt the adrenaline pumping. It all just set in. Oh my god he was actually going to do this. He was just moments away from his destination. He gulped down a nervous lump in his throat as he examined the perfectly new blade for any rust. The side didn’t understand why he was so nervous; he knew how to do this safely so why was he so scared? Maybe he’s afraid of the pain
Logan however quickly dismissed this thought so that it doesn’t chase him out of a decision. I mean he would only seem MORE weak if he pulled such a pansy move. It shouldn’t be too bad.
He started by washing the blade and his forearm with warm water just as a precaution. He shakily held the blade horizontally over his wrist. Deep breath in and-
Slice
He ran the blade across his skin and then exhaled the breath he was holding. He sort of relaxed when he realized that it wasn’t that bad and that he was ok. Still, he checked the damage. It was a cut on the epidermis layer of the skin so nothing bad. Even so, he watches the blood bead along the clean line in fascination. It started to drip a little but that was caught with the towel that Logan pulled off the towel rack. He gently pressed the cloth to the cut and when he pulled it back, he closely watched as blood refilled the small wound. He was satisfied with his work and for some reason, he couldn’t stop looking at it. He wanted more.
So that’s what he did; the side made a few more clean lines parallel to the first one he made. He would stop to just watch the blood, then soak it up before watching how it refills again. Logan found himself admiring his arm from all angles, wearing these cuts like some sort of sick and twisted accessory. Logan continued to leave a few more little cuts, holding his arm over the sink to not make so much mess with blood (and to not ruin his favorite button up shirt).
The logical side went for one more and pressed a bit harder this time. When he swiped the blade, white was exposed before blood started to seep out from the edges of this deeper and wider cut. Actually being able to see the inside of his arm like that kind of scared him. He recognized this as the dermis level of skin. It made him a bit uneasy how he could turn his arm sideways and see the cut gape a bit, but he couldn’t stop looking at it. He thought if Remus was here, he would have said it looked like a mouth.
After that tiny scare of going deeper, he decided he was done with this for the night, afraid of going farther than he already has. As he started cleaning the blood from his arm and his sink, he was thinking over his success rates with this exercise. He had come to the conclusion that this had done what he wanted it to for him. He smiled to himself as he looked at the fresh cuts. The smaller and thin ones have already dried and scabbed over, but the deeper one he had just done was still filling with blood after each time he soaked it up, but it was slowing down. He doesn't know if he smiled because the treatment worked or if he was just proud of what he had done, but to him it just matters that he got a smile out of it. Once all the blood was cleaned up, he opened the shadow box again to retrieve the bandages. Carefully, he wrapped his arm in a secure bandage and put the rest away. The pressure of the cloth being wrapped tightly around his arm felt oddly nice and contrasted with the burning sensation on his skin from the contact.
The side stops moving and stands perfectly still when he feels a presence in his room. His heart dropped out of fear in realizing that this is the worst time to be here for obvious reasons. He slowly reaches for the doorknob of the bathroom and turns it, trying to prepare himself for whatever is about to happen. When the door was opened, it revealed Remus sitting on Logan’s bed just looking around.
“R-Remus, what are you doing here?” His voice was shakier than he wanted it to be. He wasn’t sure if the cause was from what he just did in the bathroom or the fear he had from another side possibly knowing.
Remus’s gaze shifted towards the nerd and the bandage on his arm. “Well, as I am Thomas’s own intrusive thot,” he stopped for a second to giggle at his play on words, “I can sense unwanted thoughts from any other part of Thomas,” he got up from his spot on Logan’s bed to walk towards him.
“I was picking up something from you, not like the normal. I had some suspicions and came to investigate but it seems as if I was right,”
“I.. I’m not sure I know what you are referring to,” he lied. Logan thought it was eerie to hear Remus talk in this more serious manner.
“Yea, no we both know that is a big lie,” Remus slightly smirked at Logan for the fact that he was right and gestured to Logan’s bandaged arm. Logan just avoided the other side’s eyes and held his arm behind his back. This and Logan’s uncomfortable silence confirmed it to Remus and he was no longer smiling, he had a look of empathy and slight hurt on his face. He was also sort of mad at the others because he feels and sees what Logan goes through with them and he thinks he can understand why Logan would resort to self harm.
“Logan, do you need to talk about it?” He asked. Logan has talked to Remus about his situation before, but he didn’t want to talk about this. He just brushed past Remus to go lay his pajamas out on the bed to get changed for the night. “No, I do not wish to speak of this and I ask you to kindly not mention this to anyone else, but thank you for your concern,” he never turned around to look at the other once. Remus just stood there with a slight frown. He then got an idea on what to do and he sunk out without saying anything else.
Logan could feel when the intrusive side left the room and released the breath he was holding in relief. He felt guilt wash over him in the moment. He really disliked lying to one of his closest friends but it was for the best. It was way too early for him to be able to tell anybody- scratch that. He didn’t want to tell anyone at all. He just hoped that Remus would listen and not tell anybody. The logical side thought of what he would do if that were to happen as he changed his clothes to something more comfortable.
He stopped before getting into bed to ponder if he should leave his fairy lights on while he slept. They were left on as he climbed under the cover to keep the atmosphere soft.
The logical side found himself holding his bandaged arm up above his face to admire it. He didn’t know what it was, but knowing what he'd done gave him tiny butterflies of adrenaline in his stomach which led him to a small smile. Logan was never an artist of any medium, but those crimson lines that stain his forearm felt like an art piece to him. It made him feel accomplished and.. happy. And with that, the side brought his arm back under the covers and closed his eyes to be consumed by sleep with a smile on his face.
•———————————————————————-•
Hope you enjoyed this first part :)
Yea a little background, sanders sides is such a comfort series for me, so I started writing this back when I was struggling a lot and I decided to keep writing this now so I hope you enjoy this bucket of angst haha
Part 2 will be linked here when it is up!
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