#and did I mention this character is called edward but that's a completely different sort of edward

[komilys]

*crashes into your inbox* SO, I heard you’re self shipping with Ciel Phantomhive-

How about ● Ichi ● , ○ Ni ○ and ○ Yon ○ for him for that ask game?

Sorry for suddenly coming at you like that, but Ciel has been my favourite character for years and it’s exciting to see someone self shipping with him.

– villain-in-love

yes!! i love ciel so much, i’ve been self shipping with him for forever <3 qq hoping the manga comes back to him soon. no worries !! i love asks , feel free to crash into my inbox any time!

04/04: THIS TOOK FOREVER IM SO SORRY @villain-in-love

ichi — what’s a song (or several) that captures the dynamic you have together?

three vastly different songs… this took me a long time!! i’m bad at songs too!! (rip)

glue song ; beabadoobee

useess ; omar apollo

back to the old house ; the smiths

ni — did the meeting between you go?

good god, bare with me.

my self ship with ciel has always been based in this one fanfic i read on quotev, now deleted— rest in peace! it’s one of those that’s based in a modern + fan reader accidentally stumbling into the kuroshitsuji universe. the fanfic only ever made it to the start of the circus arc before being deleted, unfortunately!!

i’ve actually been so occupied with thinking about the recent chapters and arcs that i’ve completely ignored the meeting! so firstly i fall out of the sky.

yeah.

after that, really, it’s just a matter of ciel and sebastian questioning me, as i wonder what the hell is happening ! how do i get home ! what is going on !

funnily enough, i remember a scene from the fic going along that ciel finds a little plush keychain of him (seeing as your a fan) and he’s wondering what the fuck is wrong with you, probably assuming you have nefarious intentions because why else do you have a small plush of him.

our entire meeting is just me desperately trying to convince him to not lock me up (i’m not a criminal, i swear!) and somehow trying to get him to believe the unbelievable (i.e. his entire world is fictional to me, nothing he knows is real). the only reason he kept me around, actually, is because he figured i might’ve been able to help if i really did know everything in this ‘story’.

i did not help. in fact, i was a nuisance.

yon — capture two important memories in this ship

i’ve thought about the second one, so, so much, actually.

getting stabbed during the ripper arc!! lol!!! (it’s not fun, actually.)

important for myself / komie but i think it would also qualify as being important to ciel and komie.

the first instance of me actually getting hurt, also the thing that makes me realise… oh… right.. because this worlds really dangerous— more specifically the fact i’m so close (in proximity, at least) to ciel.

this would be really the first time ciel is ever genuine, just fully transparent with him. he says he won’t let komie die, if he’s worried about that. he says thank you, and offers ciel to call him ‘ki’ as a nickname, if he’d like. ciel doesn’t take the offer, but it’s a kind moment they share nonetheless.

being split up during the campania and bizarre doll incident (luxury liner arc)

ohoo..ooohhooo… oh i love this one!

first instance of komie majorly shifting a plot point!! hooray!

rather than lizzy and ciel being trapped in the boiler room, ki gets trapped !! oh no!! thank god he knows to vent!!

getting ciel to leave me alone was actually hard, he didn’t want me to die— not to mention lizzy wouldn’t budge. it took a quick ‘i’m fine, i know this, ciel, trust me, you know i can.’ to get him off, but eventually he let go.

the luxury liner arc is sort of the official start of ciel’s feelings by the way, i would say they were budding.. feelings a little earlier than this, but this is definitely where it starts. ciel and ki don’t get reunited until the ship really starts going down, around the time they run into undertaker carrying the machine, actually!

keep in mind, ciel this entire time was thinking i have to be dead, there’s no way he got out, edward even said he wasn’t on a boat yet.

so ooohhh.. he sees ki just walking behind undertaker and these other people carrying the machine that could quite possibly save the ship? oh, oh he’s relieved! and annoyed! and upset!

i was going to write a short snippet but then i thought, no…. also it’s already been like a couple of weeks.

the luxury liner as a whole is an important arc for the relationship, but being seperate i think is almost like the climax of it all.

i think when he finally runs back into komie with the undertaker he’s relieved, but the irritation gets the better of him and he grabs him by the arms, harshly. (harshest he’s ever been with him, really). he starts calling me an idiot (that’s not new), but he’s angry, and he starts yelling.

he was a lot more worried about komie than he’d admit, a lot more than he thought. he only lets go when komie says he’s holding too tight.

komie’s just staring, startled and confused, while he yells at him, looking back between ciel and sebastian— as if asking ‘you know what’s goin’ on?’

ciel, he says, and he says again louder this time when he doesn’t listen— “we have to go,” and he tugs on the younger boy’s arm, much gentler than the grip ciel has on him.

it takes a moment for him to regain his composure, but he lets go, backs up closer to sebastian.

komie looks at him. “your leg doesn’t hurt? sebastian should carry you.” he turns his attention to sebastian, before turning back towards the group carrying the machine— who’d earlier stopped to stare at the random screaming kid— to follow them.

he stares. “right.”

it’s an awkward walk to the hall (for both of them).

#mailbox. #f/o: ciel! #pov ciel is so pissed he walks on a broken/sprained leg #the walk back is the same for both— as in in their heads they’re both freaking out thinking WHAT was that

[oochilka]

let’s just talk about Matthew McNulty in Return To Cranford

#his hair and outfrits that look so well against the countryside background #and his character being a total jerk #who seems to be a rare example of a matthew mcnulty character who is aware of his good looks #most of them seem to have never owned a mirror esp poor sweet mr dudley #i had said it before but mm does jerks so convincingly #i think he should play jerks more often #look at this handsome bastard #who constantly mistreets his sister played by jodie whittaker #no i men check him out #and did I mention this character is called edward but that's a completely different sort of edward #gotta love mm in period clothes #cranford #return to cranford #Matthew McNulty #self indulgent stuff #lots of tags

[mean-scarlet-deceiver]

down the mine :3

Hmm, so! I know one objection to my darker-and-grittier interpretation of “Down the Mine” could be But Jobey, didn’t Gordon treat this as no big deal, a good laugh?

He DID but I think that is perfectly in character for him! And I think it remains a pretty flattering angle to his character!

Albeit, at first, I think Mr Express Engine didn’t really know how serious it was when first he was told. He is Not The Kind of Engine To Hang Around Mines, you know, and probably had an image in his mind that matches the illustration and the adaptation, what @angryskarloey just so perfectly described in the comments of that post as "these supposed 'mines' are really more like cut-and-covered tunnels.”

But also, even when seeing and getting a better idea of how grave the situation was, Gordon would have remained utterly cool and focused about it. And afterwards, all’s well that ends well—the brush with death would only heighten his motivation to be kind to Thomas afterwards and propose an alliance that wipes away all sorts of their old issues... and after that I don’t imagine Gordon ever lost a bit of sleep, despite what a tremendous close call they all just had.

Being an oblivious ass can be Really Useful, you know. Gordon barely has nerves.

[content warning for talk about engines losing their consciousness/engine death below the readmore]

This also tallies with how I imagine things went down among the standard-gauge gang during WWII. As you definitely know, and as I think I’ve mentioned haphazardly in different places on this blog, I tend to see the situation with many European rail vehicles during WWII suffering a pandemic of “facelessness.” The heavy demands and scant comfort plus some of the downright horrors of war work tended to loosen this species’s somewhat chancy hold on sapience. And it’s a domino effect—once one engine “departs,” others who see it blank and faceless on the rails are upset, and therefore more at risk for their souls nope-ing on out of there themselves.

‘Course, many rolling stock souls “returned” gradually post-war… but not all. And they tended to have blacked out those years completely, which did leave them a bit “out of it” for at least some while. (Duck, I think, would have been in this boat.) So I posit that in-universe this was a big reason for the popularity of the first RWS books, and for the NWR’s apparent strong fortunes in a era when British rail overall was dragging—they were one of those uncommon, mostly more rural places where all their engines were still fully “with it,” still very much alive and alert and ready to entertain visitors after the war. A tribute to the care and pains Sodor took with them, a testament to the strength of their found family dynamic, and also? Each engine played a particular, invaluable role in keeping up the railway’s morale during this period:

(Not that each was the only one doing this sort of thing, but this was the obvious place where each of them really shone):

Recently-rebuilt Henry took on a huge outsize share of the physical load, deliberately volunteering to spare the others as much as he could

Edward, who had gone through this situation of friends “departing” during war service once before, took care of the others on the emotional side of things, cheering them and making sure they were “seen” when they seemed to be in danger of despair

Percy welcomed and trained the influx of clueless, motley, often American lend-lease engines that the military allocated to expand and operate Tidmouth Harbor, which was hopping (and, towards the end, bombed) during the war

Thomas was the friend and protector of every evacuee child—most of the ones relocated to Sodor were taken in the Ffarquhar area, and Thomas, who brought them letters and supplies and news, was their rock

James to be honest had a really rough time during the war, for various reasons rocked even harder than the rest. He did all his work (no small feat in itself) but seldom had spoons to spare beyond that (no shame in it). However, when he was enough himself to complain about the usual old petty things, it truly put some heart into the others, making them feel like their memories of life before the war were real and not just some dream after all. (In particular, his impressive efforts to avoid going to the Works so as to skip the wartime livery entertained everyone enormously, at a time they all really needed a smile!)

Gordon… Gordon was the leader of the war effort. Almost complete opposite of James. He gave up grumbling completely—there was work to be done! If he was ever even slightly fazed by anything—no one ever saw it. Probably coz they were too busy being bossed around by him and exhorted to their duties by him and turned into a Rail Guard unit by him and mind you this was all a good thing, Gordon’s idea of military discipline was imposed high-handedly and also with unflagging spirit and his ridiculous impression of a Major General on wheels was too baffling to resist and also the only even slightly funny part of this era.

Coal trains, troop trains, supply trains—Gordon had to deal with all of these on the regular and he did it with almost theatrically grim eagerness. Must keep rolling, must keep rolling! The Express dropped way down in importance during this era and Gordon’s priorities changed accordingly; he gladly left it in the care of weaker engines while he did the even heavier and dirtier work—ahem, sorry, while he sallied forth into the fray and did his bit for King and Country and we’ll be putting paid to some krauts with these beauties, won’t we boys?

There was not a patriotic mantra or saying that Gordon did not repeat ad nauseam, there is not a scrap of half-baked war news that he did not promulgate, there is not a general on the Allied side that Gordon left uncanonized, there is not a single battalion on the entire Axis side that Gordon left uncursed. (Also, he learned some colorful cursing. A very time-limited special edition of Gordon, as after the war he zipped his lips and never regaled them with any of his old blue streaks ever again! Sometimes the others wonder if wartime!Gordon really happened or if they all just hallucinated that.)

It would be an exaggeration to say he was tireless—like all of them, he was taxed to his limits—but he was also a force of nature, truly magnificent, and if his leadership was a bit heavy-handed and his exhortations rather cliched what of it? It was still exactly the sort of leadership they needed. When you were too tired to move another wheel or lift another foot, you did it anyway, because you knew if you didn’t Gordon the Big Engine was going to holler on the double, man, on the double! and then goddammit you’d move anyway, because—for all the others did a good bit of bug-eyed side-glances at each other (oh. my. god. why is he like this????)—you somehow did not dare let him down. Not because he was shrill or abusive, mind you. He was simply whole-hearted and somehow, someway, he seemed to really enjoy the endless crises and toil. His “high spirits” may not have spread to every engine, but his didn’t flag, anyway, and that absolutely did rally humans and engines alike.

And that is the side of him that, albeit in a less extreme version, popped out again in the mine incident. He took in the hazard in his usual sort of dim way, but by sheer force of will he kept it at a distance and did not fully acknowledge how bad it was. And, sure enough—he helped keep disaster at bay, and then slipped back gracefully and without apparent trauma to usual life once the crisis had passed.

Though there was one hiccup during his postwar transition to regular life. Earlier there had been talk the Sodor Home Guard battalion would give him a rank during the fighting; it was decided against on grounds that Gordon, bound to his rails, could not fulfill some matters of Home Guard discipline. After the fighting there was again talk at even higher levels of giving him the rank retroactively in recognition of services rendered. In the end it was again decided no once more, rather than open up the can of worms of integrating civilian engines into official social structures (military vehicles do have ranks, however—but in the UK at least, this is the only concession to any sort of legal rights for vehicles and there was keen pressure to keep this singular acknowledgment of vehicular sapience unique). This was a bitter blow for Gordon at the time. I’ll be honest, though—it may have been complete bullshit and unfairly discriminatory, but also? It was lucky for him in the long run. If Gordon had been officially inducted into the Home Guard, it would have become his whole identity. He’d have never dropped his wartime "military airs," and therefore it’s very unlikely he would have unbent and learned the humility and grace he later did. So, a near miss really.

tl;dr: “Down the Mine” was not the first time Gordon looked at the face of death and kept a stiff upper lip and good cheer and allthatsortathing. During the war, our big lad ran on vim, vigor, and pure unadulterated patriotism for six solid years, and he ordered and rallied everyone about to within an inch of their sanity. (Oh, he also more literally ran on oil during some of the war, lol. Don’t ever mention this in his hearing though, not if you value your life. He was proud and matter-of-fact about this at the time, but the first day in peacetime the Big City Engine sneered about oil-burning engines, Gordon snapped back to being Himself and has been extraordinarily sensitive about that period of his life ever since!)

#chatter #ttte analysis #ttte gordon #down the mine #ttte #thomas the tank engine #the railway series #ttte: wwii

[period-dramallama]

My thoughts on the trailer

The line about England being at war with itself... the only sort of acknowledgement of the Reformation. I hope the Reformation gets properly mentioned.

That line about others seeking to divide them....OK, but Mary and Edward fell out over starkly different religious beliefs. They didn't really need all that much encouraging.

Love the shots of the hanging, complete with screaming. Very good cinematography. The visuals so far... me gusta.

"Put your eyes back in your head" is that Kat Ashley? I think that's Kat Ashley. There's no evidence of Kat berating Elizabeth. She complained about Seymour's behaviour and commented on Elizabeth's dress being a mess, but when it came to marriage, she was in favour.

That line about Catherine having a pawn... I think the pawn is Jane.

The trailer wants us to think it's Elizabeth, by the editing, but I think Jane makes more sense.

A) Jane is also Catherine's ward

B) if Jane marries Edward, she becomes queen consort

C) Catherine controlling Elizabeth wouldn't be significant, because Elizabeth doesn't have any power. Yes, she's an heir, but behind Mary.

D) if Jane marries and controls Edward, and Catherine controls Jane, Catherine controls Edward. Therefore, Somerset has his pawn (Edward, king) and Catherine has hers (Jane, potential queen consort). Those two can grapple for power more easily than king and second princess.

No one has yet mentioned it, but isn't Alicia's voice beautiful? Almost hypnotic. I am very excited for her performance as young Elizabeth.

So Elizabeth seems to lean towards Seymour and he leans away??? That better be him toying with her/playing mind games. Because irl, it was Seymour moving forwards and Elizabeth moving away.

In defence of Elizabeth's crossbow: she was a keen hunter, and her mentor Ascham wrote a treatise in praise of archery. And if she does point/shoot at someone, well, the real Elizabeth did say that if she were in Mary Stuart's position, she'd have stabbed Darnley. I do hope she doesn't get stuck in any kind of battle situation though.

I really hope Pedro isn't just an expy of Oviedo from Spanish Princess. Don't get me wrong, I liked Oviedo, but I'd rather have variety in my nonwhite characters' personalities and storyline please and thank you.

Elizabeth calling out Edward in public? Oh boy would she not do that.

OK, the dress cutting. C'mon writers, it's not a complex scene to get right. It's now happening indoors instead of the garden, and where is Catherine? And Elizabeth doesn't look confused, or alarmed, she looks defiant, like she knows the dress cutting is sexual/sexualised. And she's just standing there defiantly.

By making her look defiant instead of afraid, the writers I think give her too much agency, which tones down what happened.

The fire breathing performer! The fireworks! The dancing! I'm really looking forward to some proper courtly revels.

#becoming elizabeth #period drama

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

I know you’ve talked about how all the Cullen pairings are eventually going to implode - glad someone said it - but I was wondering if you wanted to talk a little bit about what you think Meyer INTENDED with the pairings - tropes and whatnot? And what you think would have to change in her narrative to make what was intended what we actually saw on the page? Or — what do you think each cullens’ Perfect Spouse would actually look like?

Anon is referring to this post.

And well, you've certainly given me quite the challenge.

Some Musing Ramblings Before We Begin

Sort of like asking me to make Dramione work, I'm not sure I'm the person to ask this. Anyone who reads my work knows that... well, that's a lie, every story I secretly write is a love story. But it's not Twilight in any way shape or form.

Twilight simply isn't a story I would set out to write. This isn't a good thing or a bad thing, it just is, which means that asking me to make Twilight work the way Meyer intended is probably not your best bet.

But I'll try regardless, it's what we're here for.

Bella/Edward

Meyer intended Bella Swan and Edward Cullen to be the best and brightest of all the pairings in Twilight. They have the love and devotion of Carlisle and Esme, the physicality and sexual attraction of Rosalie and Emmett, and are such a grand love that even depressed Marcus takes note. This is the love story that drives the entire series.

Edward is an improvement upon Carlisle, a Carlisle with even better control, and the most beautiful man you ever did see. He's also a gentleman, a man of his time and from an era where chivalry was alive and men courted women. Bella is one of those disturbingly altruistic people who makes you feel bad about yourself just by being in the same room. She's incredibly selfless, kind, and also quite brave.

Together, despite their ups and downs and the many obstacles in their way, they're disgustingly perfect.

However, that's not what we get. On Edward's end he's... Edward about loving Bella. On Bella's end, she has no idea who Edward even is but she does know he's beautiful and special.

And to get what Meyer actually wanted... Christ, Anon, I'll try.

So, the first problem, if Edward was truly a good person then Twilight would never happen.

Edward would have his first day of Biology, miraculously maintain control, and flee to Alaska as he does in canon. However, he would not return. Edward in canon returns due to his budding obsession as well as his wounded pride, in fleeing Forks he feels he has lost to Bella. When Carlisle later points out that a girl's life is on the line, that Edward is foolishly endangering this girl solely for his ego, Edward refuses to acknowledge this.

A good man would never have returned from Alaska, the Cullens would have moved in short order, and Bella may or may not have died in a parking lot or in Port Angeles.

That said, what if Bella is not, in fact, Edward's singer? Then there's not this constant debate of him eating her or his creepy, budding, obsession with his personal brand of heroin.

Well, the trouble with that is that Edward would then never notice her. Even were Edward not a colossal dismissive dick, required per this ask, Bella is one mortal out of many and someone he shouldn't grow close to. Associating with her just exposes her to unnecessary danger from him and his family. Edward is a guest in our world, nothing more, and a kind Edward might chit chat with her in Biology but even if he had a growing crush he'd keep his distance.

As he tried and failed to do in canon, actually.

Basically, change Edward alone, and it's not enough. The Edward Meyer wanted would never get together with Bella. At least, not without a lot of AU-sauce.

But let's look at Bella for a moment. Bella's character also has to be entirely stripped down. The Bella of the books is extremely depressed and her infatuation with Edward is fueled in part because of this. Edward's obsession with her gives her worth.

Obviously, in this new and improved edition of Twilight, Bella can't use either Edward or Jacob for validation. She has to be able to stand on her own two legs. If she does use either for validation, then the relationship must come to an end, as she and her significant other realize just what it is Bella's doing.

The trouble is, what does this not-depressed Bella have to fall in love with? Yes, Edward's beautiful, and that certainly goes a long way, but in canon he's a dick. Bella even thinks to herself that he's a complete dick (even when he's trying to be charming). Luckily for Edward she later decides that this is cryptic and therefore appealing.

Well, in AU land, Edward might be so damn charming that Bella likes him anyway but we come back to Edward keeping her at a polite distance.

So, what we need is a terrifying villain. Let's call him Angelus (though per Twilight this would probably be James). Angelus is a vampire that will force Edward's hand. For whatever reason, he decides to torment and ruin Bella's life, ending the hunt in either eating her or turning her into his bride. Angelus' existence forces Bella to be in the know and for Edward to have to take extreme action.

The pair become closer, grow through undoubtedly horrific trauma, and through said trauma Bella understands not only the pros of being a vampire but the terrifying cons.

Basically, it'd be this story. Just replace the name "Carlisle" with Edward and "Edward" with James.

Alice/Jasper

Alice and Jasper are supposed to have this ineffable, mystic, connection where they're together because... Alice saw them together. And in a way, that's true, but it's supposed to be a thing of beauty, soulmates if there ever were any, and instead it's this dumpster fire with nothing holding them together.

This one's easier in a way, well, sort of. Alice would have to be a completely different character and we'd have to see a lot more of Jasper.

Alice has a bad habit of treating those around her, even those she loves, as chess pieces. She'll put them in significant danger, court their misery, so long as it gets her the future she wants.

And she's extremely controlling.

Right away in the opening of Midnight Sun we see this and how it affects her and Jasper's relationship. The novel opens with Alice hovering, scanning the future for Japser fucking up, while Jasper just sits there in misery. Due to her obsession on making sure Jasper doesn't eat students, she actually misses Edward's plan to massacre Biology and his many plans to eat Bella Swan.

Even if she wasn't, this isn't good for anyone to live with. Jasper has very little concept of free will, whatever happens to him, whatever he'll do, Alice tells him and the worst possible option is always on the table.

For Jasper/Alice to work either Alice's gift needs to go (and that's... sort of all Alice is) or she has to tell no one any vision ever unless under extreme circumstances.

Which would be devastating for Alice. Rather than this mostly well-adjusted, perky, girl, Alice would be crippled by her gift. The weight of the world, everyone's free will, rests on her shoulders and she has to constantly avoid temptation to simply pick everyone's future for them.

Without the attitude Alice has in canon, I think she'd go mad with such a gift, or else be consumed by the responsibility of it.

Then we get to the mess that is Jasper. Jasper's complicated, and I don't want to get into it here, but his love story would have to be... too large to be put to the side like that. The redemption he'd need is not one that can be shoved into a few paragraphs told to Bella, it's frankly the kind of story that would drive an ordinary story.

So we'd have to see a lot of Jasper and Nouveau Alice. Which, of course, detracts from Bella/Edward which is the main point of the story.

Honestly, I take it back, there's no salvaging this relationship. They would have to be completely different people to the point where they're entirely different characters wearing nametags 'Alice' and 'Jasper'. Alice couldn't have her gift, which informs her entire character, and we'd have to see way too much of Jasper who is ultimately a tertiary character.

Carlisle/Esme

Thoughts on Carlisle/Esme.

Carlisle and Esme is a very 'spiritual' relationship per Meyer. They're... mom-bot and dad-bot. Alright, fine, they're the perfect parents with this deep love for each other and a very parental bond with Edward especially. It's the relationship Edward admires the most in his paired off family.

I don't even know how to fix this one.

Again, they'd have to be such different people. The trouble with Esme and Carlisle is that they share no values and are plagued by massive miscommunication. The Carlisle who is perfect for Esme... No, wait, this Carlisle is perfect for her, but that's because she's in Esme Land.

The Carlisle that would be perfect for a grounded Esme is not the one that exists. She'd want someone who would always put the family first, who would treasure her above all other things, that's not Carlisle.

Carlisle, similarly, would want someone that truly shares his ideals. That's not Esme.

So, we're back to nametag land, because one or both have to completely change for this to work. (Not to mention that Esme's probably not supposed to be Esme).

So, I've got nothing for this.

Rosalie/Emmett

I actually think these two are what Meyer intended. They love each other but are mostly held together by attraction. They're a very physical couple and good for the most part but inherently lesser than Bella/Edward.

Sure, I'd argue that they're the most put together couple in the house, but I think they're meant to have flaws. They work well together, but every other relationship in the Cullens has to be a step up or at least have something more to it.

Something Edward and Bella can be better than.

Conclusion

Dear god. Did I only manage to somewhat address Bella/Edward? Was that it? This was worse than I thought.

#twilight #twilight meta #twilight headcanon #twilight renaissance #twilight shipping #bella/edward #anti bella/edward #carlisle/esme #anti carlisle/esme #alice/jasper #anti alice/jasper #rosalie/emmett #anti rosalie/emmett #meta #headcanon #opinion #shipping

[megs-mostly-past-random-fandoms]

True Mate

Based on this request:  Could I please request an Edward Cullen one where he meets his true mate in Volterra when he thinks Bella is dead?

Here you are! The first of the requests! *Familiar Characters are NOT mine!*

Fandom: Twilight

Warnings: Angsty. Mentions of death? Takes place at the end of New Moon. It’s a bit short. 

Pairings/Characters: Edward Cullen x vampire!reader, Volturi Kings(With Caius as reader’s creator/”father”), Alice Cullen, Bella Swan

Something was…different. There was a scent in the castle that you'd never smelled before. It called to you like a siren. You stopped mid-conversation with your "mother", Athenodora, when the scent hit you. You ignored calls of your name as you speed in toward the source of the intoxicating scent, not knowing that the origin was in that moment, begging your "father" and the other leaders to kill him.

         Edward Cullen couldn't bring himself to meet the gazes of the Volturi leaders. He just wanted it to be over. After all, why should he remaining in his torturous existence if the woman he loved was no longer alive? "Edward," Aro began, looking distraught, "We shall discuss it, my brothers and I. I know she meant much to you, but she was il tua cantante, not your true mate. They are not the same. That will affect our decision as well."

         Edward frowned, but was saved from arguing with the leader when the door burst open. If the first whiff of Bella's scent had been a violent storm, this was the complete opposite. This was peace. Home. A warmth that Edward could not explain. He finally glanced up to meet a pair of milky red eyes already staring back at him. It couldn't be.

         "Y/N," Caius greeted and Edward resisted the urge to test your name on his tongue. You barely looked at Caius as you greeted him in return. Your eyes were riveted on Edward's. Aro and Caius exchanged a look while Marcus was focused solely on you and Edward. A rare, soft smile reached his lips and he called for his brother. Aro took his hand, seeing the memory and he giggled. "Well, this is a happy turn of events. It seems young Edward has found his true mate after all."

         "Why is he here, Father?" you asked after a moment, "Has he broken laws?" Caius frowned a bit. "Of a sort. But that is not why he is here. He wishes for us to end his life." Your brows furrowed as you asked Edward himself why. But Edward couldn't speak. He could hardly think. All this time he had been with Bella, he'd thought he'd found the one he was supposed to be with. But here you were, standing in front of him and he could only see you.

         Edward hadn't heard Aro answer your question, but snapped back to reality when you crossed your arms and sighed. Edward automatically tuned into your thoughts. "What an idiot. Still…he's a cute idiot. And my mate. It could have been worse. I could be stuck with Jane." Edward bit back a small chuckle. Out loud, you said, "You should hunt. Come with me and we will find something more suited to your unique tastes. Then, we will need to talk." You offered a hand, which Edward took without hesitation. In that moment, Edward made a decision and so did the leaders.

         "Edward," Aro spoke after quickly and quietly conferring with Caius and Marcus. You and Edward turned back to them and Aro smiled. "I trust you no longer wish to end this life? Because we would not do anything to hurt our Y/N. We will not grant your desire even if you still wish it." Edward didn't even need to think as he shook his head. "Thank you," he said softly, "Thank you for considering my request, but it isn't necessary." With that, you and Edward sped off to find him an animal to hunt.

         Meanwhile, as she search for a car after landing in Italy, Alice Cullen stopped dead in her tracks. Bella glanced at her knowing that she was having a vision, probably about Edward. "No. No. No, this can't be happening," Alice muttered. Bella asked her what was wrong. Alice snapped out of the vision and bit her lip. "The Volturi turned him down. He's going to do something drastic."

         Bella gave Alice the reaction she'd been hoping for. She demanded that they find a way to get to Edward faster. Alice didn't tell her exactly what drastic decision Edward had made because she didn't know why herself. All she knew was that she'd seen Edward with dark grey robes over his shoulders. When someone had called to him in the vision, he'd turned and Alice caught a glimpse of his eyes. His red eyes. Whatever was happening, Alice knew she had to stop it. By any means necessary.

(a/n: I hope you like it! I know it’s short, but I’m open to writing a 2nd part if anyone is interested.)

#twilight #edward cullen #edward cullen x reader #edward x reader

[soyforramen]

Whoops, I slipped into a follow up of this prompt.

--

“How’s the wrist?”

Such an innocuous question. It rings flat in the sharp crags that line the chasm between them, echoing hollowly between them. But it’s still more than he’d said Saturday night. More than he thought he’d say.

Betty, never one to let any pain shine through, smiles at him. Her face morphs into that perfect Cooper mask, no crack or wrinkle to suggest anything was out of the ordinary. It pierces his soul to realize that he doesn’t know how to read her anymore.

To him, she looks just as happy and carefree as the first day they’d met in third grade.

“Still sore, but no lasting damage,” she says, rolling her wrist as proof. Even her voice is peppy and varnished to perfection. “How’s your head?”

His hand moves without thought to his forehead, his fingertips grazing the ugly red mess. Jughead jerks his head to the right, a move practiced in the mirror this morning to ensure his hair covered the welt.

“Nothing an aspirin can’t take care of,” he mutters.

He raises his coffee cup to his lips to keep from mentioning the whisky and rye he’d fallen headfirst into, a palliative cure after she’d disappeared up the stairs, leaving nothing but confusion and nadir in her wake. The lingering hangover was still a symphony of banging pots and pans along his temples, a never-ending reminder of his regret (relief?) of doing nothing.

They sip their coffee in silence, waiting for the meeting to begin. The artificial bridge he’d thrown across the chasm between them frays, its tethers loosening. In less than a minute, it’s fallen into the yawning black hole that now lies between them.

Betty's words… no. Not that. It was his inaction. His confusion. His uncertainty that created this false rift between them. The gravity of it tugging and pulling at every second between them, every atom, every conceivable future between them, each a warped, stretched snapshot of a future never to be.

It was enough to make him want to crawl back into the bottle and never come out again. His hand shakes, an aftereffect of the late night drinking, and he shoves it deep into his pocket. Betty’s eyebrows draw too close together, too close to concern for his tastes.

Toni claps her hands together, and Betty shoots him one last curious look. He refuses to look at her, turning to refill his mug. When he turns back around, Betty is in her usual seat next to Archie, a plastic smile on her face. Jughead slouches against the counter, too lost in his own morbid thoughts to pay much attention to the upcoming game to notice the increasingly concerned glances Betty sends his way.

Jughead watches as his students shuffle in, the twins he affectionately calls Bill and Ted the only two showing any trace of life. The bell rings, a clanging, offensive noise that makes everyone wince. It’s doubtful he’s the only one nursing a hangover.

“How many of you did the reading?” he asks when they settle in.

A collective groan ripples throughout the room. He can’t blame them; he’d never been able to finish The Odyssey in high school either.

“Pop quiz time,” he says.

Another groan, this time with a rousing argument against it, echoes through his already pounding head. Jughead holds his hands up in a conciliatory gesture.

“I want you to write about betrayal.”

The class quiets, some exchanging glances. It’s a sharp turn, a quick 180 that throws all off them off balance. Jughead has been ruthless so far, both in his grading and in his push to get them to learn critical thinking skills. Even he’s surprised at this course of action.

“Any kind of betrayal you can think of. You can talk about personal betrayal, family betrayal. Maybe one of your friends kissed your girlfriend, or maybe your mother chose your sister’s side over yours. Or maybe you write about a fictional betrayal. Hamlet and Ophelia, Brutus and Julius Caesar, Edward Pensieve and the Turkish delight.”

Wynnie’s hand shoots up, and Jughead inwardly winces. She’s always been the one to push back against any assignment, the one who questions everything he expects from them and makes class ten times longer.

“Can we write about a made up betrayal? With characters on, like, TV or something?”

Breathing a sigh of relief, he nods. “Anything is fair game, as long as you write it in a way that someone not familiar with the show, or book, or whatever, can understand what’s going on.”

“What about poetry?” another student asks.

“So long as you put the effort in, poetry is fine. Text threads, short stories, poems, letters, anything written.”

“Can we work together?” one of the twins asks.

“Sure, as long as you don’t bother the other students,” Jughead says with a shrug.

Bill and Ted high five before dragging their desks together.

Jughead is surprised at how well they’re taking this assignment. Every last thing has been a fight with them, from getting their attention to taking a test. Betrayal, though, seems to be something everyone can relate to.

As the class begins to write, Jughead sits down at his own desk. For a moment, he watches his students, kids in the same position he was once in, and wonders why he’s even here. Riverdale offered him little more than characters he could mold into his own, a setting for the decline of small town America.

Today, though, his mind wanders along words and phrases, glimpses into a different sort of reality. One ravaged by decay and rot, left to perish alone. And yet, he can’t help but see the small, green shoots of the future poke out of the ashes, tiny hints of hope for what’s to come. Perhaps nothing is ever static and unchanging. Perhaps things can turn around.

Jughead reaches into his bag for his own blank notebook.

He’s sitting on the porch that afternoon, struggling with the illegibly written translation. It’s a shame the state requires them to teach only the recommended books; Jughead would love to see how the story unfolds when thrown onto a fire.

“Hey.”

Jughead starts. When he sees it’s only Betty (only?), he stands abruptly, his entire body on fire, his legs jittery and ready to run.

“Hey,” he repeats. “Archie’s not here, but –“

Betty shakes her head and shoves her hands into the pockets of her jacket. “Can we talk?”

He swallows. Stupid of him to think he’d get away from this conversation. Jughead waves to the chair next to him. As Betty passes, her perfume tickles his nose. Long gone is the strawberry body spray she used in high school, a sweet, cloying smell. Now it’s a perfume, one that tickles his nose and clogs his sinuses.

They sit there quietly, neither willing to speak first. He’s lost for words, unable to start.

She sits patiently, calmly. Betty seems as if she hasn’t a care in the world, as if they were there to talk about the weather. Part of her training, he realizes. She’s no longer as impulsive as she once was, reaching and grasping and desperate for an immediate answer. This Betty Cooper is a reminder of the past, but only that.

“I’m sorry,” he manages, starting with the simplest of things.

Next to him, Betty shifts. He thinks he hears her sniffle (crying? allergies? derision at his lame start?), and he has to quash his immediately reaction. All he wants to do is reach out to her, to comfort her, to promise her the world to keep her from suffering.

But he’d done that before, long ago, in a completely different world. And he’d been trod upon, brushed aside in favor of her own cruel form of betrayal. Nothing he could have done after would have fixed the wound she’d carved in his soul. Even now, seven years distanced from the teenage woes, it lay between them, still raw and sore and bleeding from the continued betrayals of his life.

He wonders how he would have responded to her if he hadn’t known. If he hadn’t come home one night early to hear her and Archie upstairs. If he hadn’t turned to the Wyrm and listened to Sweet Peas acidic sniping just to get lost among the agave pinas and the juniper berries.

“It’s not,” he stutters, trying to find his footing, unsure of what he wants to say. “I couldn’t stop loving the Betty Cooper I knew. But I also never stopped hating what she did to me.”

The admission is the first emotionally honest thing he’s said in years. It’s painful to realize how deep it lay inside him, how long it took to finally cut out this festering, putrid thing that burrowed into him. Like a tumor, it could only grow, fed by hate and anger and depression. Hate and anger for both of them. It hadn’t turned out like it was supposed to.

Now that it lay out in the open between them, he felt different. Heavier, in some ways. But there was also a release. The pressure that had been building for so long was slowly lowering, as if he’d finally found the valve that would bring things back to normal.

“And I don’t know you,” he said, the words pouring out now. “Seven years, and only a handful of texts, a few voicemails. You’re not the person I remember. Hell, everyone is different from who they were, who I thought they were.”

He pauses to run a hand through his hair. He can feel Betty’s bright eyes staring at him, pleading with him for something, anything, that will make this better.

“We’re both different now, and there’s no way you can still love me. You don’t know me, you know who I was. We can’t just pick up where we left off, even if we wanted to. There’s too much between… Even if we were stupid enough to try,” he trails off, his words meandering as they try to find footing in the rocky space between them.

“We didn’t leave things in a good place,” Betty murmurs in agreement.

She shifts, and he looks at her for the first time since they sat down. Her legs are tucked up against her body, arms wrapped around them. It’s a protective stance. Against him, perhaps, or against the bare truth that he’s put in the open. He can’t blame her, not since he’s protected himself against most of his own life in other, less healthy ways.

Jughead sighs, empty of anything else to say. He stares at the fading light glowing through the leaves. It’s the perfect, picturesque scene of two high school sweethearts reuniting. At least, it was supposed to be. He didn’t know if he ever could do that to himself again.

Archie’s old truck chugs up the street, and Jughead stands. He scrapes the palms of his free hand along his pants, the other hand gripping his book. Archie waves through the windshield with a bright grin, and Jughead gives a half-hearted wave back before going inside.

He’s exhausted; after being mad for so long, it’s strange to be so empty of feeling. He’d give the world to be able to retreat back to Alphabet City and it’s various loan sharks. There, at least, he’d know the pain was no one’s fault but his own.

Jughead closes the bedroom door behind him, shutting out the rest of the world. It wasn’t his business what Betty did despite her attempts to bring him back into her life. He didn’t know if he was ready for that, or if he’d ever be. Ever since he’d been back, her presence gnaws at him, chipping away at the walls he’d built up over the years against her presence, and it frightens him that she’s stepped back into his thoughts so quickly and easily.

Thoughts and ideas collide and churn violently in his head. He throws himself down on his bed, determined to fall asleep despite the chaos.

But this time, sleep doesn’t come as easily as it always has. Words and feelings and phrases splatter against the back of his eyelids, graffiti tattooing images of a world never known. He pushes back against the cacophony until he can stand it no longer. Desperate to empty his thoughts, Jughead turns on the bedside lamp, pulls his laptop out from under the bed, and begins to write more than he’s been able to for years.

#bughead fanfiction #riverdale #i heard you like angst with your angst

[plasticnightmaredoll]

(art commission by the lovely and talented @curious-menace)

It is a time where I would like to see what my followers think about various concepts I have in mind pertaining to alternate versions of one my fics. It may take some time to write out any alternate versions since I've been busy and stressed out so much lately, but I am very curious as to what others would find intriguing to read.

But first, some backstory so be patient. We'll get to the voting at the end of this post.

I've been having a lot of bad days lately, and my mood has plummeted to a major low. This includes my self-esteem, which has always been in the dumps but is now basically a dumpster fire.

However, I don't want to be entirely cruel to myself. I deserve some sort of happiness, some sort of reprieve, and writing can be a good coping mechanism. I put a lot of my own thoughts, emotions, struggles, opinions, etc. into my works, as they serve as a way for me to get things off my chest. Sometimes, it's just cute and funny stuff, other times angsty but eventually fluffy stuff, and other times it's quite depressing and dark.

One fic, in particular, stands out, and that is the Mortal Kombat/Batman Arkhamverse crossover, "Volunteer," (trigger warnings: mentions psychological torture and suicide...more about this fic in a bit for those who would rather not read it because of those triggers) which features Arkham Knight Edward Nigma and Jonathan Crane, as well as a lady friend for Edward named Sara. It also features Erron Black and Cassie Cage from Mortal Kombat (Cassie is only mentioned in the story a few times).

If you read the blog intro/self-introduction post pinned at the top of my Tumblr, you know very well how I feel about Cassie Cage (particularly in MK11) and the Erron Black x Cassie Cage (BlackCage) pairing. Those negative feelings are mostly due to a very bad experience with a pushy BlackCage fan who just wouldn't relent one bit on their stance and it was emotionally and mentally draining to try and talk to them, including providing counter-arguments.

I've come up with alternate versions for "Volunteer" recently due to the spike in stress, depression, anxiety, and insecurities I've been dealing with as of late. This is where my followers come in!

I would like people to vote on which alternate take on "Volunteer" they would be interested in reading. Now, I can't guarantee when I'd get to it because, as I mentioned already, I've got a lot going on. However, I really want to try and write at least one alternate version of that fic, just to get some insecurities and negative thoughts off my chest.

Now, for those who are wary of reading "Volunteer" because of the trigger warnings, here's my advice: Just read the first chapter, if you want to. Chapter 2 deals directly with the sensitive subject matter, although, you can probably guess what happens anyway just by reading Chapter 1 and if you know anything about Jonathan Crane/Scarecrow...well, he likes to mess with people...mentally. To put it very mildly.

Now it's time for the voting. I have three different scenarios I've come up with that are variations/alternate versions of the current "Volunteer" fic's concept/storyline. I'd like followers to select 1 (one) alternate telling of the fic. I will open anonymous asks again, so if you are shy or just want your vote to remain a secret for some other reason, then that's fine by me. Otherwise, you can reply to this post with your choice.

Edit: if you are turned off by the idea of a Mortal Kombat/Batman Arkhamverse crossover, I get it. I don't read crossover fics myself, and that's usually because the crossovers either make no sense or do make sense but the ideas are poorly executed.

This crossover I'm talking about, though, isn't a full-on crossover of MK and Batman. There's no world-building, no larger plot, and no other characters in MK even appear or are mentioned except Erron Black and Cassie Cage.

If anything, it's more of a Batman Arkhamverse standard AU with Riddler and a female oc, and Erron and Cassie are the only concrete elements of MK brought in. I mean, yes, the other MK characters exist, I guess, but they have no purpose in this crossover I've written, and won't make any appearances.

So, if you had any concerns about the crossover aspect, I hope this clears things up

Choices below the cut!

A) "Don't You Wish"

This version is inspired by a song from Pink, called, "There You Go." In this alternate telling, Erron manages to survive Scarecrow's fear toxin, and escape (most likely because Erron is out of his mind and panicking, thus not a threat, and he has no one to help him, so Scarecrow doesn't give a damn what happens to the dude). The first thing Erron does is go to Sara's place, having already broken up with Cassie after realizing dating her was a mistake, and Sara means more to him than he thought.

Well, it's been several months since Sara basically pushed Erron out of her life for his poor choice in women, and (Arkham Knight) Edward Nigma has proven to be a much better (and, wiser and more sensible -- yes, I know, but he's not a skirt chaser, Guys) friend to Sara. While Erron ran off with a blonde selfie princess, Edward offered genuine comfort and companionship, and now Sara has been in the process of moving on from Erron even further.

Sara humors Erron and lets him tell her -- while sounding terrified, confused, and conflicted beyond belief thanks to the fear toxin -- what happened to him. Now, Sara doesn't know Edward asked Scarecrow to take care of Erron as a means of getting revenge for her. Doesn't matter anyway. She's unsympathetic towards Erron's plight, feeling as if he didn't even give her a chance to confess her feelings towards him, nor did he even seem to notice how she felt; it was like he was too busy with thinking with his privates to realize he had someone in front of him who would have treated him better.

Sara tells Erron -- in a flat, disinterested tone -- that his situation is tragic and all but wtf is she supposed to do? Why not go to his dumb blonde gf? Oh, they broke up? Well, how predictable. And Crane is also a (sort of) friend to Sara, which shocks Erron and leaves him feeling worse than before.

Sara sends Erron on his way, and he wanders off in a daze, unsure of what to do with his life now.

Sara and Edward meet the next day, and they have a pleasant time, obviously moving towards becoming a couple. She chooses not to mention Erron as she is completely severing the cowboy from her life.

B) "I Don't Even Miss You"

This alternate telling is similar to the previous one, but this time it's inspired by a Miley Cyrus song, "WTF Do I Know" (Hey, her Plastic Hearts album is actually fantastic!), and Edward is with Sara when Erron arrives at her place in a distressed state. At first, Sara deals with Erron in the hall of her apartment building, unsympathetic to his plight and basically telling him, "I told you so," and "too bad." Erron is getting more and more upset, even angry at Sara's callous tone, and starts to raise his voice, demanding to know why she is being so cold at a time like this?

Edward overhears Erron raising his voice to Sara, giving her a difficult time, and he gets pissed. Edward steps out into the hall and not only mocks Erron in various ways, but demands that he leave immediately, or what Scarecrow did will seem like a trip to Disney Land. Erron has caused Sara -- who is currently moving on and growing closer to Edward -- enough problems and heartache.

Edward reveals he set up Erron, and while Sara is stunned to find this out, she handles it better than expected. Edward said it was his way of getting revenge for her, and he'd do it again if need be. Erron is sent away feeling so much worse, feeling lost, hopeless, and betrayed.

Sara and Edward talk and she admits she's upset that he did something like this without speaking about it to her first. However, he explains that he genuinely did it for her and he doesn't want her to feel pain at the hands of some "idiotic cowman," who doesn't consider the feelings of others and who behaves like a greedy, violent Neanderthal. (And yes, Edward does care for Sara, and he didn't send Scarecrow after Erron out of jealousy -- maybe a little jealousy but it was mostly rage over Erron causing Sara so much emotional pain)

Sara means more to Edward than he can express, and he may not be the best when it comes to emotions, but he does care about her and wants her to be safe.

Sara forgives Edward, understanding that, through his heartfelt but very nervous and shy confession that he is sincere about his feelings for her, and they make amends. She of course tells him to never do something so extreme without consulting her first, though, because what happened to Erron -- while she doesn't care what happens to him in the slightest -- was a bit too much.

C) "Listen When the Devil's Calling"

Another title inspired by a Miley Cyrus song, "Night Crawling," and this alternate telling involves Telltale Riddler and no Scarecrow. Almost a year has passed since Erron went with Cassie and Sara, out of bitterness and heartache, refused to speak or see him. This didn't sit well with him as she was his only friend, and his relationship with Cassie dies within a few months.

He goes looking for Sara, realizing she has moved out of her apartment. It doesn't take him long to find out where she is, and she's with The Riddler, a notorious criminal genius and one of Gotham's elite villains. Erron is worried for Sara and seeks her out.

Turns out, Sara's just fine. This isn't one of those scenarios where the girl is with a guy who just using her and taking advantage of her vulnerability. No, Edward does actually love her and takes good care of her. He finds people like reckless, selfish, and ignorant people like Erron to be a disgrace but also amusing because of how pathetically primitive they are.

Edward also doesn't appreciate how Erron pushed aside a good thing in Sara to pursue a girl who is a social media brat and has more selfies on her phone than brain cells in her, well, brain. It defies all logic to Edward, but he's also not surprised because of how much of a disappointment Erron is as a human being (hey, this is Riddler we're talking about, and he's not one to be sweet and gentle to those he can't stand). Edward doesn't say these things out loud, though, as it's a bit too vulnerable and personal for him to do such a thing with someone he doesn't know or trust.

Sara is upset that Erron has resurfaced and she remembers how heartbroken she was when he went after Cassie Cage. She wants Erron to leave her alone like she asked, so she can move on. She can't trust him anymore, because he's just a skirt chaser in her eyes.

Erron tries to plead his case, tries to apologize to Sara, and expresses how he really feels, but this just distresses her further. Edward steps in and tells Erron he's done enough to Sara, she clearly doesn't want to see him, and he needs to take his leave.

This isn't a request.

Edward pulls Erron aside, telling the cowboy that the only reason he's going to walk away from this alive is that Sara hasn't asked for him to be killed. Should she tell Edward to take care of Erron, well, you all know what Telltale Riddler is like.

And those are the three variations on "Volunteer."

If you could be so kind as to:

leave a comment with your choice or

send an ask (even an anon ask) with your choice or

suggest your take on this story.

I'd appreciate it immensely!

Thank you all so much for supporting me and my writing and being patient with my sluggish publishing schedule!

#edward nigma #riddler #arkham knight riddler #edward nigma x oc #riddler x oc #edward nygma #edward nygma x oc #crossover fic #arkhamverse #arkham riddler #telltale riddler

[homeformyheart]

things you said when i was crying - m!raleigh carrera x mc (plat)

author’s note: this was inspired by the u.s. sitcom everybody loves raymond, the episode where debra is pmsing and ray doesn’t know what to do. thanks to the anon who requested this!

copyright: copyright: all characters owned by pixelberry studios. certain dialogue is copyrighted to everybody loves raymond. series/pairing: platinum – m!raleigh carrera x mc (cadence dorian) rating/warnings: 16+; swearing word count: 1.1k based on/prompt: things you said / 9. things you said when i was crying summary: cadence has a little bit of an emotional meltdown and raleigh struggles to figure out what is the right thing to do.

things you said when i was crying

raleigh tightened the hood of his sweater and adjusted his sunglasses as he tried not to appear panicked in the middle of the drugstore. the fluorescent lights were blinding and unsettling as he scanned the rows of pills and treatments for all sorts of random things.

why the fuck are there so many different brands? all anyone should need is aspirin. normally, he would send someone to the drugstore to pick up whatever he needed, and he didn’t care what brand it was as long as it worked. but this time was different. cadence practically screamed at him to get something, and he was a little terrified of coming back with the wrong thing.

earlier that evening

“raleigh, what the fuck?!” cadence screamed from the bathroom.

raleigh put down his phone and hurried over. “what’s wrong, babe?”

cadence looked like she was going to pull her hair out, which made raleigh just a little nervous. she turned to glare at him as she pointed to a pile of his clothes and hair products on the floor.

this had to be a trick question, but raleigh had been on the receiving end of cadence’s outbursts in the past, so he tried to tread lightly. “um, my stuff from this morning?”

“exactly! how many times do i have to ask you to put your shit in the hamper! you’re not the only one who lives here you know!” cadence screeched and it was all raleigh could do not to flinch.

“i know, babe, i’m sorry! i’ll put it away now,” he hurriedly moved to clean up his things.

raleigh turned back to look at cadence, whose shoulders were so tense that he made a mental note to give her a massage later.

“and why are we out of ibuprofen and naproxen? i just stocked up last month!”

he raised his hands in surrender and slowly backed out of the bathroom.

raleigh grabbed a few brands that looked promising and examined the labels. treats pms symptoms, such as bloating, fatigue, and irritability. hopefully these help, raleigh thought as he tossed several boxes into his shopping basket.

cadence had moved into his apartment only a few months ago, but seeing as how raleigh hadn’t lived with anyone else in more than a decade, it wasn’t surprising that he had no clue what to do during her monthly mood swings.

he frowned as a feeling of déjà vu started tugging at the back of his mind. raleigh vaguely remembered screaming matches between his parents when he was younger where his dad called his mother irrational and crazy and his mother screamed back that he was insensitive and irresponsible. he remembered a couple of instances where their fights seemed to get even worse if his dad asked whether she was pmsing or pregnant.

that trail of thought seemed to tickle something in raleigh’s mind. could cadence be pregnant? they were usually pretty careful – a pregnancy at this stage in their relationship and cadence’s career would make things incredibly difficult and complicated. though he was surprised at how calm he felt at the idea of having a family with cadence.

with a small smile, he walked further down the aisle and grabbed a handful of pregnancy tests. it didn’t occur to him once that he was about to walk into a raging tempest with a lightning rod.

* * * * * “babe? i’m back!” raleigh called out, walking into the living room while trying to open the seal on the over-the-counter medication he had bought.

cadence hurried out of the bedroom and almost bowled into him. “did you get the naproxene?”

he handed her the bottle with a proud smile that quickly faded as he watched her inspect the label. “what the hell is this?”

raleigh just looked at her, stunned. “i picked out ones that i thought would help with… you know… cramps and irritability, symptoms associated with pms,” he said hesitantly, trying to point out the treatable symptoms on the label.

“what else did you get?” cadence grabbed the shopping bag before he could get to it and dumped out its contents on the coffee table.

she froze at the pink pregnancy test boxes for a few seconds before slowly reaching down to pick one up. “what… the hell… is this?”

raleigh sighed. “i promise i didn’t mean anything by it. i just remembered my parents used to fight a lot when my mom was pregnant with my siblings; she always blamed it on the hormones. i figured it couldn’t hurt to check—”

cadence was clenching the box to the point it had completely collapsed and warped in on itself. “you think i might be pregnant?” she asked through clenched teeth.

“no! i just wanted to cover our bases, that’s all,” raleigh said quickly, wishing the floor of his apartment would swallow him up.

to his shock, cadence burst into tears instead of yelling at him. she dropped the pregnancy test and covered her face with her hands, her shoulders shaking with each loud sob.

“baby, please don’t cry. i’m sorry, just tell me why you’re upset. what can i do?” raleigh begged, rubbing his hands up and down her arms.

“why do you think i’m upset? my boyfriend obviously thinks i’m fat, since his first thought is to get me a pregnancy test of all things!” cadence sobbed.

raleigh wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close. “baby i promise i didn’t mean it like that. i just want you to feel better.”

he kept rubbing her back until her sobs subsided to soft sniffles. “you promise?”

he pulled back so he could look her in the eye. “of course. i love you. and if – and i mean if – you were pregnant, it would not be the worst thing in the world,” he said softly, tucking a stray hair behind her ear. “i think it’d actually be nice, you know – you and me, starting a family.”

cadence’s lips turned up into a smile. “you want to start a family?”

“i’m not saying right now, but someday. i definitely see a future with you – one i hope we can start soon,” he said, leaning in to leave a soft kiss on her forehead.

“wait, are you planning on proposing?” raleigh kept his lips pursed as though he was trying not to smile and walked backwards into their bedroom.

cadence smile grew even wider and, in that moment, she forgot what she had been so upset about to begin with.

* * * * * mentions: @raleigh-edward; @dulceghernandez; @thegreentwin; @kat-tia801;  @otherworldlypresents; @brycesgirl; @platinumweekend; @robintora;

#choices platinum #choices fanfic #choices fanfiction #playchoices fanfiction #choices #pb choices #playchoices #pixelberry #raleigh x mc #raleigh x cadence #raleigh carrera x cadence dorian #raleigh carrera x mc #cadence dorian #my writing #not twc #my prompt fill #choices prompt fills #anon #platinumweekend #choices fanfics

[aion-rsa]

The Last Kingdom: How Historically Accurate is the Netflix Drama?

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Den of Geek is speaking to Professor Ryan Lavelle about Early Medieval ruler ealdorman Aethelred of Mercia. “The leading question I think you’re asking,” he laughs, “is was he really such a complete shit?”

That’s exactly the question we’re asking. In Netflix historical drama The Last Kingdom, “complete shit” doesn’t begin to cover Aethelred. Toby Regbo’s character in the series is a cowardly, scheming, abusive rapist who tries to have his wife murdered and plots to overthrow his father-in-law, King Alfred of Wessex. Aethelred’s a dangerous egotist driven by self-regard, with no concern for his people. But what say the history books? Is there evidence that the real Aethelred was such a swine?

There is not. In fact, sources suggest that Aethelred cooperated with his wife, and may well have done the bidding of King Alfred as a kind of puppet king. The TV series, and the Bernard Cornwell novels on which it’s based, have clearly employed dramatic licence. Does the portrayal worry Lavelle, a lecturer in Early Medieval History at the University of Winchester, and The Last Kingdom’s historical advisor?

“There is an inevitability that people sometimes engage more with the characters as they’ve been represented in the drama than with the actual historical characters, but this is something that allows a kind of hook,” says Lavelle. “I want people to use it to engage with the actual history.”

With that in mind, Professor Lavelle clues us in on the actual history and separates The Last Kingdom’s fact from fiction…

Uhtred is fictional, but inspired by a real historical figure

“Uhtred is a significant person in Northumbria in the early 11th century so there certainly was a historical Uhtred, just not in the 9th century. Most of the Northumbrians in this period had to have some kind of Danish connection in order to survive, so it’s likely he did.”

King Alfred did suffer from ill health

“There’s enough evidence to be able to say that Alfred was affected by bouts of chronic ill health. That could be part of Alfred’s outlook as a Christian ruler in terms of his sense of intense internal Christianity and his sense of introspection as a ruler.”

Alfred did seek to unite the kingdoms into one England

“Towards the end of his reign, Alfred is calling himself the King of the Anglo-Saxons, ‘Rex Angul-Saxonum’ is the term. It’s potentially a term that means him being a king of the Angles in Mercia and the Saxons in Wessex, looking towards a larger kingdom, a larger realm.”

There may be historical evidence for Osferth being King Alfred’s illegitimate son

“That came from a suggestion by Jinty Nelson back in the 1980s. There was the appearance of a certain Osferth in the will of King Alfred where he’s referred to as ‘my kinsman’. It’s possible, but it’s equally possible that he might just be some more distant relation. It does bring in the historical evidence for Alfred as a young man – as indicated in Asser’s biography of Alfred – that he is said to have regretted his earlier wild youth!”

Read more

TV

The Last Kingdom: What to Expect in Season 5

By Louisa Mellor

TV

The Last Kingdom’s Historical Advisor on Accuracy: ‘It’s a Constant Compromise’

By Louisa Mellor

An Anglo-Saxon Chronicle was written during Alfred’s reign

“There’s a lot of evidence for a kind of new form of kingship in Alfred’s reign, a lot of thinking about what it means to be a king, and the king of a Christian people. With that went this idea of the works of the English – things that were associated with English culture and the English language. It’s not so much turning away from Latin, it’s more thinking about the use of English as something which could unite, initially, his subjects in Wessex.”

Alfred probably didn’t burn the cakes, but it’s part of historical legend

“It’s apocryphal in the Anglo-Saxon period, but there is a 10th century account of Alfred burning the cakes in the life of an obscure Cornish Saint called Saint Neot. It probably didn’t happen with Alfred, but it shows that people in the 10th century were talking about Alfred’s life and retelling stories which then weave their way into legends within four or five generations of his lifetime.”

Aelswith would have advised son Edward on how to rule

“The idea of a Queen’s guidance is an important aspect of early Medieval royal power. Sometimes royal women were provided with far more legal authority as a result of a queenly title. That aspect of a Queen, or King’s wife being there at the court emerges in the historical records at different times in the Anglo-Saxon period.”

There’s no reason to think that Aethelflaed’s daughter wasn’t Aethelred’s biological child

“Historical question about the paternity? Sadly, I don’t think there is. I think that’s invented. I can’t remember whether it’s invented by Bernard or invented for the series.”

Aethelflaed, Lady of Mercia, was a real inspirational leader

“There is a version of the Anglo-Saxon Chronicle written from a Mercian perspective that really plays up Aethelflaed’s achievements, which indicates that there were people looking toward her as an inspirational leader.

In a version of the Anglo-Saxon Chronicle in the 10th century, there’s a reference to the loss of the thanes, or warriors, who were dearest to her at the taking of Derby, so there’s a sense of that lordly relationship. It’s interesting that the word ‘Lady’ or ‘hlǣfdīġe’  is used for her because that is the female equivalent of the word ‘Lord’, and lordship is that bond that holds the warrior society together in this period.”

Aethelred likely worked for Alfred and didn’t plot against him

“Aethelred is a figure who sort of becomes beholden to Alfred. There is a suggestion that he’s not actually from a royal lineage and may have been from a noble family in Western Mercia. Potentially Alfred was doing the same as the Vikings did with puppet kings elsewhere and bringing in Aethelred. Aethelred was basically Alfred’s man in Mercia.

The disappearance of the shadowy Ceolwulf II, the King of Mercia, is one of the great mysteries of the late 9th century. The Anglo-Saxon Chronicle – so, Alfred’s perspective on it – plays Ceolwulf down and talks of him as a foolish king’s thane, but actually he seems to have been reasonably independent. Just after the battle of Edington – Ethandun – Ceolwulf is disappeared and Aethelred appears on the scene.”  

There’s no evidence that Aethelred was a cruel husband to Aethelflaed

“The thing to mention here is that Aethelred and Aethelflaed seem to have cooperated, they seem to have had a joint position and that’s probably because in order for Aethelred to have some sort of quasi-royal authority in Mercia, he’d have to emphasise Aethelflaed, his legitimate wife with royal blood, in his position there.”

Roman-style Shield Walls may not have been as popular a military tactic with the Danes

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“There seems to be evidence for closely overlapped shields in Early Medieval warfare, but the shield wall is a very literal interpretation of an old Norse term of ‘skjaldborg’ or ‘shield fortress’. It’s probably just a poetic term, though it does get interpreted by a few books about Viking age warfare. I’m not convinced that they would necessarily do that kind of ‘holding the shields above their heads’ with quite the sense of Roman military precision. Partly, because it would make you very vulnerable to being charged very quickly. But it’s an interpretation.”

Read more from Professor Lavelle on The Last Kingdom at History Extra.

The post The Last Kingdom: How Historically Accurate is the Netflix Drama? appeared first on Den of Geek.

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[mydearsaddiary]

Neil Season 3- Chapter 1: 1933

Little curiosity notes: Every chapter will have one. One in the beginning, one at the end. The last name I chose for the Speakeasy Tonight MC is Granger. I wish I could be inclusive with all the last names you guys must’ve chosen but I’ll keep that one for the story (Generic English, I always had the vibes she had English ancestry since it’s never mentioned what her nationality is but we know it’s some sort of European but not Italian, Irish or French and her family had predominantly English names (I think her parents are Edward and Frances, but we have Charles, Edith and Hazel). However, I found a little way to be inclusive of the first name. I named the main character here Mary Catherine Granger, but almost every time everyone will call her by the nickname MC (Also works for Main Character) or Ice Box Flapper, unless it’d look weird (like her parents wouldn’t call her by her nickname). I hope when MC appears you guys can at least imagine what you decided to name her in the game! Hope this helps!

Author notes: It took me a while to write this but I finally did so here’s the first episode! I really hope you guys enjoy my imagination, I miss Speakeasy Tonight as much as you guys do! Please reblog, share, like it and don’t hold back on sending me opinions or criticism in here or in my private messages! It’s a long chapter and it starts with a future look, the next chapters will focus completely on 1926, with only a few occasional scenes in the future but not like this! Thank you, enjoy!

-Candy, My Dear Diary.

——

Fanfic: Speakeasy Tonight (originally by Lovestruck Voltage Games)

Neil Season 3

Chapter 1: 1933

1933

My ways had taken me to live in one of the famous bungalows in Chicago, it’s not what I would’ve imagined for myself, but it was more than I could ask for during these times. The now bankrupt city was once the source of vitality of my not so misspent youth.

The Chicago bootlegging scene was a world I discovered and would come to love when I was just nineteen. The youthfulness and freeness and excitement of the Prohibition life and running a speakeasy had turned into something completely different. I was twenty-six, I was still relatively young but I wasn’t nineteen anymore. The thrill of the illegal drinking had died once it was back to being legal. Gangsters were still alive, but the risk wasn’t worth it anymore, now vileness was the only reason to remain in a life of crime

Needless to say the location of the Ice Box had closed its doors, but the Ice Box itself remained alive in the family we had created. Cliff Conway had opened the Conway Diner. He was the owner along with still using his talents as a bartender there (and working in the kitchen sometimes making the best strawberry pie in the country). The place focused more on food, but drinking, dancing and music was still all part of it.

Uncle Charlie was a stubborn old man who wasn’t going to sit at home if his life depended on it. After being shot he was never the same, he had considerable health problems that weren’t huge if he watched himself. After being in the hospital countless times for not doing so (and after Neil yelled at him some) he finally got that into his head. Charlie’s appliances stayed open and things were going fine somehow, so during the day he stayed there and worked. It didn’t require him to do much and it still brought revenue. Later he’d come to the diner and spend time with everybody, Cliff would let him help sometimes. On top of everything, Uncle Charlie still had his Neighborhood Association. Crime was still part of life in Chicago and he still put in time to make sure people were safe.

Cleo, Julius and Sophia still provided entertainment there. Andrew was no longer needed as a bouncer or to keep people out, so even though it seemed like the last thing we’d imagine him doing, Cleo and Cliff both convinced him to take some culinary classes and work as a cook (and occasionally send away a rude client or somebody who drank too much).

Elliot was away much of the time in Hollywood. Since the Wall Market crashed a few years back, movies were everybody’s distraction. He got deal after deal, but he couldn’t stay away from us for too long, we’d always see him back here, playing poker and still always winning against some patrons (and Vince, who still always lost).

Donovan was in love. Everyone knew that the reason the flatfoot still hanged around us even though the Conway Diner didn’t need protection from the coppers was because he was still completely in love with Cliff’s whiskey. So at night after his work he’d always be there. He missed Elliot most of the time but still found ways to entertain himself.

Even Gerald O’Fallon was still in some ways involved with us. He opened up a ritzy restaurant he named The Broiler after his joint back in the Prohibition days. He still worked a deal with Cliff so Vince would supply his restaurant like before and they were still competitors. Funny to think it’s still the same. He sometimes comes by to dine with us and get into an argument with Vince as usual, which brings us to our Italian friend.

Vince was sometimes still involved with the crime life, Mad Dog Moretti’s reputation followed him until the end of prohibition and after. He helped out bringing supplies, food and doing the same he did with Liquor at the Ice Box. However Vince was still a hot head with a gun who had no other gangsters to fight. Sometimes he still let it get the best of him, he would get in trouble with some criminals, exchange shots and ended up the diner at night when it was empty with some different wound. Because of that Neil was still needed to patch him up.

Doc Dresner. Besides fixing Vince up and taking care of my uncle, well, he still sat at the bar and drank his bourbon at the diner. However, a few things had changed for the doc who sat down at the Ice Box and gave everyone the cold treatment. He still had his sarcasm in his voice and the cynicism in his personality, alright. Everyone still got treated the same, but since 1926 somethings had softened this man.

First he carried a little more of a tired look in his eyes from having to deal with children and a wife (although I like to pretend the latter one isn’t much to deal with). The responsibilities that came with being a father showed through. Me and the kids, we kept him less dark and bleak. Although his personality would always be there, he smiled, that warm smile, more often when we were around. Then sometimes when he was mad at one of us he’d put up the façade he built for everyone else, but that didn’t last long.

I think Neil was also happy now that our oldest, Alton, was old enough he had just started teaching him how to play chess. Charlotte and Lucius (or as everyone called him little Luke) had some years ahead of them. But besides his family life there was something else that improved his mood.

About two years ago, Neil had sent an application to the State Medical Board to reapply for his license, he went to hearings and it was a long process. I didn’t take much part in it but I understood that Charlie and the doctors that took care of him throughout his withdrawal processes downstate testified as witnesses that he had overcome his morphine problem and the court approved.

Neil joined the legal side of things along with the rest of us and was able to practice legally again. Being at a hospital took too much time away from everything so everybody helped out to reform the infirmary he had before into a nice doctor’s office not too far from the appliance store. He helped out the neighborhood like he did before, took care of some emergency situations and sometimes went to people’s houses if they were too incapacitated.

I believe that only leaves me. The Ice Box Flapper. Well, flapper no longer. Not me and not any other girl either. I still liked the red hair as an added charm of mine and my curls didn’t go nowhere but they were more organized like romantic waves and you’d find my hair a little longer these days. I didn’t spent a lot of time at Menken’s anymore but I still loved fashion. Although nothing was as extravagant as what I used to wear, even the calf-long dresses or skirts still had a belt with a glimmering accessory attached to it, or the delicate tilted hats had a bow. I always found my ways.

The question is, what exactly was I doing? The day I normally spent at the house with the kids, Neil would come home and we’d spend some time together and then he’d give me a ride to work and stay there. Where? Well, the Conway diner still needed a chippie with a way of the words as a host, and what better than this former flapper with a way for numbers too? I helped Cliff out with the clientele and worked on the accounting side of the business. Some days Cliff would lend me to Uncle Charlie when he needed help. I’d bring the kids over and Alton and Charlotte would help (or try to).

Even if things did change, it seemed one way or the other we all found our place. There was really a life after prohibition.

I was coming back from the market. It was a little solemn watching people have to count and put back things they could no longer afford, but there was no way to avoid buying food. It was Friday morning, last day of work for this week. Neil and I decided we’d save the weekends for us and the kids. I gave the taxi driver his dime and climbed out of the cab to meet the front of the bungalow we’d bought after we found out I was pregnant with my second child.

It met the sidewalk with a nice little white fence, and once you were past it a clean little garden decorated the front along with one small tree facing the street. Everything contrasted the neighbor’s porch who had given up on the positive and hid behind tall, uncared for, grass. The white stairs led to a small but still nice-sized porch. I had made a point of making it a place to spend summer mornings at. I had placed a wooden bench and on the other side of the blue door there was a table and five metal chairs surrounded it, I always liked to people watch, Neil liked to read more than anyone, so when it was hot outside we’d lose ourselves in our activities and small talk.

I walked inside to meet the living room, mostly in shades of blue. The wall paper also had shades of white and Victorian patterns on it. The sofa and the loveseat surrounded a coffee table and where by the fireplace, which on top resided the house’s radio. Further back by the window there was a dining area with wooden tables and chairs. Only a half wall and an open doorway separated the room from the kitchen. I liked it that way, it eased the conversation. The kitchen was well-lit and mainly white.

A corridor was by the front door. It led to a nice bathroom right in the middle, in which I took longer-than-necessary baths and right after it on the same side two doors led to two bedrooms. One was ours and the other the kids’.

Our bedroom looked like a mixture of Neil’s old room in his apartment and mine in Uncle Charlie’s house. My vanity table and mirror were still where I got ready in the morning, one-third of the closet was Neil’s and the rest was mine, but it was still all fair and square since he occupied most of the drawers. The bed I brought in from Uncle Charlie’s house, but the blankets were a cool shade of green instead of the more feminine colors I had before.

The children’s room we kept light. They had to share so sometimes things got messy, but their beds were separated enough that they didn’t feel suffocated. Luke slept with us half of the nights too, so that helped. They were all a close pack, even if they were very different from one another.

Alton Hasting Dresner had just turned six. Named after Neil’s best friend, he was the spitting image of his father with icy blue eyes and golden slightly curled locks. On top of it, he was (for sure) a daddy’s boy. He imitated Neil in everything. His favorite toy was the doctor’s set, he spent hours asking Neil about chess and moving paws across the board. Sometimes he’d get Neil’s philosophy books and talk about arguments and keep saying the word “rhetoric” and talk about Plato and Aristotle even though he had no idea what he was talking about. Once I caught him drinking orange juice out of one of the whiskey glasses we kept for Neil’s bourbon. He sat right where Neil sits and looked just as pensive as he would. Alton says when he grows up he wants to be a combat medic in the army (Neil is very against it) and then after he wants to be a doctor. If we had told him about the morphine problem Neil had I bet he would want to be a morphine fiend.

Charlotte Granger Dresner was named after my uncle and Charlie came to be her nickname too. That for sure made her his favorite. We both loved Uncle Charlie, so choosing her name was a piece of cake. She sported light brown curls like Shirley Temple and bright hazel eyes. She was a little blabbermouth and her manners reminded me of Edith, it also made her my parent’s favorite. She enjoyed playing Momma and being the perfect pretend wife taking care of the house and dolls just as much as Edith liked doing as a kid.

She was also too preoccupied to make sure she looked good, too much at five if you ask me. I let her play and so did Neil, but she did end up being the biggest target of his sarcastic comments. She’d come into the living room with enough powder on her face to fluff up a sugar cookie into a cake, Neil proceeded to giggle, she’d look at him and say “What are you laughing at?” to which he’d reply with something along the lines of “Didn’t know the circus came to town”, which would promptly get her in a lather and she’d stomp away into her bedroom.

However, she was the one Neil was most protective of, after all she was his little girl. Neil almost passed out when she came out declaring she had a new boyfriend called Rick whom she met at the playground that afternoon. Neil gave a piece of his mind to Little Rickie and his parents the next day and let’s just say they haven’t been there since.

Lucius Edward Dresner was our youngest. Everyone, called him Luke or Little Luke. He was named after Neil’s sister Lucille. She had been bending Neil’s ear as soon as she found out I was pregnant and Neil probably felt he should since she named the now 7-year-old Cornelia after him. He was just one year and seven months old. Luke had hazel eyes like mine and blonde hair like Neil’s. In appearance, Luke was the one who resembled me the most. Even though he could barely walk his personality shined through. He was a shy and quiet kid, didn’t make much of a fuss as a newborn and he only cried out of pain, being scared or if he was really tired.

I have to say I never imagined myself as a mother. Alton was an accident, I had a lot of doubts. Having Neil by my side made things easier, he was responsible and he took care of me, always reassuring me everything was going to be okay. When he was born I had a lot of growing up and adjusting to the situation to do, but I got there. Eventually I found out I loved my little family with Neil. I loved everything about it even if it was hard. Our little chaos in our house added the sense of adventure I enjoyed, so we planned Charlotte. We decided we were done then, until the year before when we tried for Luke. Then we promised ourselves we were done for good.

-Helen?- I asked going into the house. Helen was an older nanny we’d pay to watch the kids at night. That morning I asked if she could watch them as I ran some errands and she came to help out. She was a bigger woman and taking care of kids was a joy for her, so I knew she’d take care of them well.

She came out of the room into the kitchen happier than ever- Mrs. Dresner, you’re quick, you got everything you needed?

-I told you MC is fine, or even Mary, Helen- I mentioned it again, but the woman wasn’t fond of nicknames or being on a first-name basis. She was very traditional. She called me “Mrs. Neil Dresner” for months. I finally convinced her to shorten it, but something told me I wouldn’t be able to do much more than that- But thanks for asking, everything is just fine.

-That’s good Mrs. Dresner, Little Luke is taking his nap- she ignored my first comment with a friendly smile on her face- The kids are playing in their room so if you don’t mind I put him in the crib you have in your room.

I let her know I didn’t mind one bit and she said she’d come back later at night and watch them. I thanked her and she was on her way. I still wasn’t much of a cook but being a mother required me to be at least a little better than what I was before. I fixed up lunch for the three of them. I usually ate later with Neil when he got home.

I could hear Alton’s loud laughs and Charlie’s mad little screams and it was sure a good time to break them up- Hey, you guys, lunch is ready!- I poked my head out the corridor to call for them- Now!- I said when they took long, Alton came running and Charlotte came out still mad by whatever her brother did, but soon enough they were both sitting at the table

-Where did you go Momma, you didn’t go to Robbie’s did you?-Alton looked up while he ate. A fella named Robert had this toy store and it was betrayal for Alton if we went in there without him

-Wouldn’t want you to take any more money from me by going there- I joked around with him

-Yeah, Alton- Charlie said staring him down- She doesn’t want to spend all of her money on your silly toys!

-Hey missy, you spend all of my money too using all of my makeup- I pointed at her, but that didn’t stop the both of them from going at each other like Vince and Donovan

-Alright, stop it you too. Eat now- I put the rest of the groceries away- If you don’t behave there’s no ice cream after- I said and they both started making good progress with their lunch. I stepped out taking my apron off once I heard Little Luke’s noises from the bedroom. I came back, lectured Alton about eating too fast and sat at the table helping the youngest one eat his baby food while the others finished up

They were well into their ice cream when Luke pointed and kept saying “Ishe crean”, and those big pleading eyes of his convinced me to give him a little bit of it.

Neil chose that moment to walk into the door, taking his shoes out and sighing like he had the most stressful day at work and was happy to be home. Alton abandoned his ice cream to go running to the door yelling “daddy!” all excited. Neil smiled to him and lowered himself to pick him up and walk him back to the dining table

-Have you been behaving while I was gone? - He asked putting him to sit down to eat ice cream again

-Of course I have!- He lowered his voice to seem manly and then went back to eating

Charlie didn’t stop eating and with her spoon in her mouth she opened her arms to Neil who hugged her and kissed her forehead- Hi daddy!- She greeted him, while Luke who had made a mess out his ice cream on his hands and mouth kept pointing at him saying “Dada”.

Neil asked how she was doing to which she replied “Great, because she had tea with her kids and her teddy bear and it was the classiest tea ever”, and Neil pretended it was the most interesting thing in the world

-Dada!- Luke said it louder this time since in the other three times he didn’t get the attention he wanted

-Seems like someone’s needy- I said looking at him on my lap while he anxiously waited for his Poppa to come.

-What has your mother been doing to you?- He lowered himself in front of us and before I could give him a snappy comeback he started cleaning his mouth and fingers with a paper towel. His attention to it and his calm hands over him showed his doctor steadiness. It put me in a trance when he acted so carefully, and I smiled to myself thinking of how something so small as cleaning his little flingers made me think of how much I was in love with Neil Dresner. Being there with him, watching the family we created together, gave me this warm fuzzy feeling in my belly. Happiness. I had settled down and this was my life and I didn’t mind one bit.

After, Neil picked Luke up giving him the attention he wanted. I got up collecting the ice cream bowls and washing them while Neil sat down where I was and caught up with the kids who fought for his attention talking about their day. He glanced at me in the kitchen, giving me a small smile, the one letting me know he was coming to greet me in a second. I watched their exchange from the sink for a little bit. Then, Neil gave Luke for Alton to hold and walked in my direction

I giggled lowly when he held my face giving me a long kiss, a kiss I was longing for since he walked out the door that morning

He looked at me, face still close to mine, hands still resting on my face-I love you-He whispered, like it was a precious secret between the both of us

-I love you, Neil- I answered in the same tone, leaning towards him for another kiss- How was your day?

-Oh, you know, desperate people thinking they’re going to get pneumonia and tuberculosis and scared they won’t have the money to pay for it because their husbands got laid off.

-What do you tell them?-I hugged him around his waist, looking up

Neil responded with one arm hugging me around my waist-That if they’re worried about their money they shouldn’t be coming to the doctor’s perfectly healthy

-Not very sweet with the words are you?

-When have you ever known me to be sweet with words?-He looked down giving me that sarcastic glance

-Hmm… You can give me a toothache sometimes- I smiled kissing him once more

-Not if you’re giving me a headache-He snapped back and let me go- I haven’t achieved my perfect bourbon levels to handle the rest of the day yet- He said walking over to his bourbon cabinet pouring him a drink- Want one? - I replied not right this second and he poured it in his cup two more times before putting the drink away

-Hey daddy-Charlotte looked at him from the couch while playing with her dolls- Can you and mommy tell me that story again?

-Your mother is better at talking than I am- He pointed at me, still with the bourbon glass in his hand

I walked over sitting by her- Which story this time?

-How you and daddy met- She said while Neil sat by her other side, interlacing my fingers in his, holding my hand firmly

-No, Charlie!- Alton complained- We hear that one all the time. Poppa worked with Uncle Charlie- “Great uncle Charlie” was too long for everyone- And then Momma came to Chicago and to live with Uncle Charlie and that’s how they met!

-Oh and how mommy was working at Uncle Charlie’s store so hard she fainted and daddy had to take care of her- she sighed- So romantic!

Me and Neil just giggled between ourselves at their silliness.

-Stop it, Charlie!- Alton declared- We already heard that one SO MANY TIMES- He put a huge emphasis on that phrase- I want to hear a different story

-Alright Alton-I said- What story do you want to hear?

-How did you and Poppa get married?- He looked up from the ground where he was sitting

-Oh yea!- Charlie seemed just as excited- Did he kneel in front of you? Did he say that you were the love of his life? Did you wear a beaaautiful gown? Did you guys go to a really romantic honeymoon in Paris?

-If you keep asking we can’t answer- Neil said, making she just look at us excitedly waiting to hear what we had to say. Neil then looked at me since he declared I was the best storyteller

-We decided to get married over a chess game. I told Neil that if I won we had to get married

-And then what happened?- Alton asked, this time sitting on the couch himself

-Well, I won!

1926

More than a few times I’ve heard from Poppa that my actions were comparable to a gal who’s on a fast track to hell. I must think he convinced himself that was the path I was on, which is why he sent me to Chicago to live with uncle Charlie, whom he thought was even a stricter blue nose than he is. By my father’s standard I was going to hell, alright. Until half a year ago I would have cared. Besides my escapades to have fun in the middle of nowhere in Ohio, I would’ve still cared some. I didn’t want to be a complete disappointment.

Funny thing is my attention changed. I no longer sought the approval of Poppa, but of the father figure that had come into my life since I’ve been here: Uncle Charlie. He didn’t judge me for being who I was and he welcomed me into his little Ice Box family which I soon figured out was where I belonged.

Uncle Charlie was back home for good and he was very pleased when Neil asked for my hand in marriage to him. It was a little too traditional for me but he insisted in talking to Charlie and getting his blessing. Uncle Charlie was indeed pleased. For the sake of keeping up with the traditional standards for the older people we said Neil was the one who popped the question.

Then, Uncle Charlie gave us a two-week vacation from the Ice Box. After Vera Peters was no longer a threat, things had been a little more pacific at the speakeasy. The occasion was that since we had made it official we couldn’t delay any longer meeting each other’s families. We had to go to Columbus and to Boston.

I didn’t know if I was ready to see my folks yet, but Neil seemed more prepared than I did. He had gotten invited for Lucille’s baby shower for his niece Cornelia and with a little push from me he had decided to become close to her again. Neil was ready to go back to Boston. He then finished up his letter to his sister. I didn’t read it but I know it mentioned some apology to never answering her letters, catching up with what’s going in his life, letting her know that he was soon to be married to little old me and that I would be coming along with him to attend her baby shower.

I also sent a letter to Momma mentioning our visit but it was shorter and to the point.

The next day, Neil picked me up from Uncle Charlie’s house. Charlie gave me a letter for Poppa and to let him know he was expecting him in Chicago. I made sure to tell him I’d let them know.

We made our way to La Salle Station and soon enough we were in a fast-moving train, I was going back the same way I’d come and the anticipation of showing a new self that my parents expected made my heart pulse a little faster. Neil must have noticed my agitation because he held my hand tight

-Everything will be okay, MC- He smiled at me- I’ll be there the whole time.

——

Little Curiosity notes: MC and Neil will be visiting first Columbus then Boston in the next two chapters. Both their families will show up. There’ll be a little drama in Columbus but Boston will be very eventful, lots of drama! After that the two will go back to Chicago where the main setting will be the Ice Box and follow the original story of Gangster and Prohibition drama + The growth in Neil and MC’s relationship until the wedding.

Author’s note: My chapters do run a little long! Let me know if you guys want it shorter, but normally they’ll be about this length! This chapter focused more on the future but from now on we’ll be focusing our story on 1926 on and what happened directly after Neil Season 2. I hope you guys enjoyed this first chapter! Thank you!

-Candy, My Dear Diary

#voltage usa #speakeasy tonight #voltage amemix #voltage inc #voltage #voltage games #neil dresner #lovestruck #lovestruck voltage #vince moretti #cliff conway #cliff #speakeasy #1920s #voltage men #voltage fanfic #voltage otome #voltage romance games #voltage fandom #gerald o'fallon #speakeasy tonight fanfic #fanfic #donovan gallagher #ice box

[raywritesthings]

Bird in a Storm 12/17

My Writing Fandom: Arrow Characters: Laurel Lance, Tommy Merlyn, Athena, Joanna de la Vega, Roy Harper Pairing: Laurel Lance/Oliver Queen Summary: The confrontation between the Hood and SWAT on the roof of the Winick Building goes differently, altering the course of Laurel’s career, relationships and efforts to save her city forever, the shockwaves of such an altered path making themselves felt throughout her family and friends. *Can be read on my AO3, link is in bio*

Athena was accustomed to deferring to those less skilled or worthy than her. The current Heir to the Demon was only one such example and was, in part, why she was here.

Simply put, the League was stagnating before her very eyes. She couldn’t say when it had begun. Perhaps shortly after she had joined the League when the schism between Ra’s and his eldest daughter had occurred. Or perhaps not until much later, when a girl had laughed in his face at a display of his power and he had not relieved her shoulders of her head but instead allowed her room, board, training and even his Heir’s body for her own pleasure.

Athena believed in her heart, however, that Ra’s decline had begun between those two points, with the departure of Al Sa-Her.

Never had she met a warrior so single-minded in his goal, yet all the more deadly for it. The lost man who had stumbled upon their secrets molded himself into a weapon and leader, rising through the ranks with greater speed than any before him.

But Ra’s had let his Horseman go, and had never truly recovered the loss. His leniency towards Nyssa’s dalliance with the disloyal girl in their ranks, his over-reliance on the Pit keeping him confined to Nanda Parbat more and more. Despite all appearances, he was an old man dragging them all to the end with him.

Athena had had no plans to strike against him, not until she had overheard the news on a mission to the Americas about the man the rest of the world called Malcolm Merlyn.

That such a man should fall to a poorly carried out stunt such as the news described was unconscionable to her. She could only assume he had been forced to act in a manner to protect his son, the man who now stood before her. The man she needed in order to achieve the plan that had begun forming in her head.

“Athena,” Thomas Merlyn echoed. “Is that your real name?”

“It is the only name I answer to. And before you check, you will not find me in any sort of search you might conduct on your devices.”

He grimaced but carried on. “How did my father meet someone like you?”

“His oaths would have kept him from sharing too many details of his time away, but we were part of the same League once. I served first as one of his trainers, then as a comrade-in-arms when he surpassed even me.”

“Comrade… in arms,” he repeated once again. She hoped he wasn’t truly this dim. “So you’re saying my father left me after my mom died to go train in some secret Fight Club?”

“He was preparing himself to enact justice upon the ones who took her from this world. From the intelligence I have gathered, he was very near his goal before the Triad’s contracted assassin mortally wounded him.”

The young man’s eyes narrowed at the mention of his father’s current state. “You said you can heal him. How? You don’t exactly look like a nurse.”

Athena withdrew a vial from her pocket. A vial she had taken great care in filling with a priceless elixir. “The contents of this vial will revive him. Slowly, I am afraid, but I could not secure more and remain undetected. You will need to introduce it into his system. I recommend the IVs replacing his fluids.”

Thomas’ eyes reflected a hunger as he reached out, but his arm paused midway. “How do I know you’re not lying? That this isn’t just more poison?”

Well, he wasn’t a naive idiot, at the least. “I am risking everything by changing my allegiance to your father and his kin. Should the man we both trained under discover my actions, I will be forcibly returned and executed for my disloyalty.” Thomas blanched, but she paid no heed. “Nevertheless, I believe in the cause Al Sa-Her was working towards. The evil of Starling City is too great, and must be eliminated. Surely you see that your city is slowly choking on the waste that wells up from the bottom?”

The look in his eyes hardened, and he took the vial. “How long will this take?”

“It is unclear. But in the meantime, you must lead in your father’s stead. There are others he would have recruited to his cause. We must find them out and see just where their loyalties now lie in his extended absence.”

“Wait, are you trying to say you can find out who set up the hit?”

“Of course I can.” She knew he had little reason to trust her abilities as of yet, but he would learn. And if he learned each piece in just the right order, she felt certain she could craft The Magician an Heir more loyal than Ra’s could dream of, if less adept with a weapon. But that, too, could be taught.

Athena retrieved a phone from her pocket that she slid across the desk towards him. “My number is the only contact programmed in. Attend to your father, then call me when you are ready to take up his work.”

While his gaze remained distracted by the phone, Athena slipped away as quickly and quietly as she had come, disturbing no one. Her next steps were already clear in her mind; discover the source of the contract on The Magician’s life, determine the timeline of his recovery and the completion of his plans and deliver his son to him as a dedicated disciple. All of this she was confident she could achieve.

Thomas Merlyn was less skilled and worthy than she, yes. But he held that same cold determination, that drive of his father’s. And history showed that could be molded.

---

Joanna sighed as she settled back in behind her old desk. It was earlier than her mom might have liked, but she was officially back to work.

She stared across at the empty space where her friend’s things used to be. No more Sara in her graduation cap, no more white board of targets. Laurel was well and truly gone from CNRI.

Well, not totally gone. Her protege approached Joanna scarcely after she’d sat down.

“Hey, Thea.”

“Hey. I’m so glad you’re back.” The younger girl hugged her. “How are you?”

“You know, pulling through. I guess you have experience with that.”

Thea nodded. “Yeah, well just don’t do what I did and you should be fine.”

Joanna laughed. “Alright, what have we got today? Think I read something about a deposition being filed?”

“Mm-hm.” In her work clothes and with a folder in her hand, Thea Queen looked truly different from the party girl she’d been only a few months ago. “It’s against Edward Rasmus. He stole the family’s savings, and they’re looking for restitution to help them get back on track. They lost everything in their son’s college fund because of this piece of crap.”

Okay, maybe Thea wasn’t totally different.

“Well, hopefully we can get it all back. Let me see the file so I have the details before they come in today.”

She was able to read up on the Moore’s file as well as a couple others before the family arrived. The couple had even brought their young son with them, who was adorable as he was shy. Joanna talked them through the deposition process and promised to have it submitted before the day was out.

It was the last time she spoke to either of the parents.

Joanna woke up early to a call from the police informing her that her clients had been killed in a home invasion gone wrong. Taylor had miraculously managed to escape the carnage out a window, so now she found herself playing social worker instead of lawyer as they tried to figure out where he would go in the immediate aftermath.

Eventually, they decided on a temporary placement with social services until his grandparents could return to the States. It still broke Joanna’s heart a little to watch Taylor being led away by the hand, and she resolved to check in on him at least once a day until all of this was over. Though she’d need to be careful about how to do it; she didn’t want a repeat attack. The timing of that ‘home invasion’ was a little too convenient for her liking.

She was glad to get a text from Laurel that day asking if she wanted to meet up. It really had been forever since her friend had bothered to reach out and that stung, but Joanna wasn’t going to turn her away when she actually did try.

It was still strange seeing her with shorter hair, Joanna reflected as she grabbed the barstool next to Laurel’s at the old place they’d gone to once or twice after work in the old days. “Hey.”

“Hey. My dad called and said you’d been at the station,” Laurel admitted. “I thought you could use a drink. I’m buying.”

“No, you shouldn’t—”

“I’m okay,” her friend insisted. “I’m just really sorry to hear what happened to your clients.”

Joanna blew out a breath. “So am I.” The whole thing stunk of the crap Thea had mentioned yesterday, but of course that was only a feeling she had. And she wasn’t about to bring that up with Laurel when her asking her to get the Hood’s help on Danny’s murder was what had led to her friend’s fall from grace to begin with.

Yet apparently she didn’t have to. “It was Rasmus,” Laurel said with conviction as their glasses were set down.

She nodded even as she said, “There’s no proof. And now there’s no case. I mean, the kid’s only six.”

“Where’s their son now?”

Joanna looked down. “Social services took him.”

Laurel turned on the barstool to face her. “He’s in the system? After just losing his parents?”

“It’s only for a little while. They’re having trouble getting in touch with his grandparents because they’re out of the country.”

“But the killer Rasmus hired is still out there, Jo,” Laurel argued. “He could get the information on where Taylor is.”

“I’m hoping he was only interested in stopping Mr. and Mrs. Moore. I mean, what else could I do, Laurel?” Joanna asked. “I’m still staying with my mom, and I couldn’t bring Taylor in there and put her at risk like that after everything. I talked to your dad specifically and had him put two squad cars outside.”

Laurel looked down. “I’m sorry. I know you’re trying to do what’s best for everybody, I just…”

“I’m worried, too. I’m going to make regular check-ins over the phone in case someone’s got their eyes on me, too.”

“That’s not out of the realm of possibility,” her friend agreed. They both sipped at their drinks for a while, neither in the mood for idle chitchat. So much for catching up.

Joanna left her things with Laurel while she went to the bathroom before they headed out. As she approached the bar, she noticed Laurel was hunched over her phone, though she straightened up as soon as Joanna got close.

“You ready to go?”

“Yeah. Listen, we should do this some other time when work isn’t so depressing, you know?” Joanna said.

Laurel nodded. “Definitely. Maybe next week or so? I’ve got some busy nights coming up.”

“How late is that shop open?”

“I’ve picked up a couple things. Just helps to keep myself occupied.” She went in for a hug, and Joanna couldn’t help noticing how solid Laurel felt. Not that her friend had ever been all that fragile before, but there was something different to her stance, to the security she seemed to give off just through a hug. Joanna gave her head a shake as she backed off.

“Everything okay?” Laurel asked.

“Yeah. Guess I’m just thinking about how so much has changed… you’re taking care of yourself, right?”

“Definitely.”

“Okay. Well, I’ll see you.”

Joanna went home and ate dinner with her mother before they both kicked back to watch some TV. Nothing was really catching their interest, so her mother started channel-surfing. A picture on the screen caught her eye, and Joanna sat straight up.

“Go back, go back!”

“What, to the news?” Her mother hit a couple buttons and Green, the nightly anchor, came back on.

“—Rasmus allegedly confessed to police after they responded to reports of the Hood being spotted at the businessman’s penthouse. The hired gunman who killed Eric and Nancy Moore remains at large, and police advise all in the Glades neighborhood to exercise caution.”

“That’s the case you were working on?” Her mother asked. When Joanna nodded, her mom said, “Well, I hope you didn’t call him. Bad enough he got Laurel in trouble, I don’t need him sidling up to you.”

“It wasn’t me, mom,” Joanna assured her. But she was pretty sure she knew who it was, and she had to shake her head again. Laurel was never one to sit idle, was she?

With Rasmus in custody, Joanna decided to head to an early bed. No benefactor meant no additional hit, no additional hit meant no hitman.

Taylor would have to be safe now, right?

---

Mr. Blank had a job to finish. It hardly mattered that the target was a little boy. He had seen his face. That meant he couldn’t remain alive. It was nothing personal.

He’d already taken care of his former employer through posing as the man’s lawyer to gain access. Only one loose thread left, and he would be free to continue his business unhindered.

It had been a simple matter to get the information on young Taylor Moore’s current housing situation. He had simply called in pretending to be a representative of the boy’s grandparents seeking to confirm the child’s location for pickup. Sneaking a peek at the casefile number for Taylor had been another goal of his at the police precinct, and it aided his ruse.

A group home in the Glades was the boy’s temporary residence, and it would now be his final one. Mr. Blank parked his car on the next street over from the building, then walked along the sidewalk sure to keep his back to any and all CCTV cameras. There weren’t many in this neighborhood. Even better, he had overheard at the station that two officers that had been stationed outside had been recalled only last night thanks to Rasmus’ capture. That left him free and clear to take care of matters.

As he drew up to the steps of the building, he noticed a young woman sitting with her back against the wall of the home, head bent and blonde locks hanging in her face. A potential witness. How irritating.

Mr. Blank sighed and reached for the gun in his trench coat pocket. In the same instance, she stood up in one fluid motion and looked him right in the eye, revealing her own face was hidden partially behind a mask. Interesting.

“Somehow I had a feeling someone like you would show up.”

“I assure you, there’s no one else like me,” he told her. “But I would have expected the Hood after his intervention with Rasmus.”

“Sorry to disappoint you.” Her fists were balled and she had no weapons. This would be easy.

Yet as he retrieved his gun, she lunged, one hand closing around his wrist and twisting hard. Mr. Blank hissed and pulled back, the gun clattering to the ground. She kicked it further to the side and moved in closer. So it was to be a brawl.

He feinted to her left and was just barely blocked by her arm when he tried to strike her right. He grabbed her arm and yanked it to force her forward, ramming a knee into her gut.

She wheezed but barreled forward to take him with her, crashing him into the wall outside the home. Mr. Blank tasted blood when he bit down. He just barely got his guard up when she went for a punch to his face. He twisted her arm behind her back and relished the cry that left her as he closed in, the fingers of his other hand reaching for her mask.

“You’ve seen my face. Don’t you think it’s only fair I see yours?”

Her head jerked back, colliding with his chin. His grip reflexively loosened, and she spun out of his hold.

What she lacked in finesse, she made up for in sheer enthusiasm. This was a brawler, and she lived for the fight just as much as he did. He thrilled at the blood pounding in his ears, the pain in his jaw.

They both eyed the gun lying a few feet away. He dove for it. She dove for him.

Mr. Blank’s fingers grappled for purchase on the weapon as her weight fell upon him. He turned and was met with two hands forcing his arm away, just as he squeezed the trigger.

Bang!

---

He was walking home from another shift at the club when he heard a noise not altogether uncommon in the Glades: a person’s pained and heavy breathing. In the past, he might have kept on walking. But ever since his life had been saved by the Hood, he’d been trying to find some reason for it to have happened. Some reason he’d been worth it.

So Roy cautiously approached the alley he could hear the sound coming from. In the dark, all he could make out was the disheveled blonde hair of a woman leaning against the wall as she slowly staggered forward. Her head was down. She had to be focusing solely on putting one foot in front of the other.

“Hey. Hey, lady,” he said, coming forward. She hissed and drew back, but as she did her hair sort of shifted, revealing it to be a wig. And he thought he recognized the real hair underneath, short as it now was.

“Laurel?”

“Roy?”

He shook his head. “You’re the Woman. Should have known it was you.” She’d roughed him up well enough just for stealing Thea’s purse.

“Well, I’d congratulate you on your detective work, but this one was kind of handed to you,” she said, strain in her voice. She was limping pretty bad, too.

“Hey, what happened to you?”

“Got shot. Just a graze, but it hurts more than you’d think.”

“Don’t have to guess,” he said. Roy came around to stand at her side and pulled her arm over his shoulder. “Here, give me the wig.” He stuffed that in the pocket of his hoodie. Hopefully, they didn’t come across any cop cars or someone who looked at them too closely. “How far do we have to go?”

“Just a couple more blocks.”

They traveled it mostly in silence, not wanting to draw more attention to themselves than necessary. She had a place about the same size as his, though he thought her street had a slightly better reputation. Everything was relative.

“You got any disinfectant?”

“Cabinet above the bathroom sink.” She hobbled over to a little basket that turned out to hold sewing supplies. Well, at least she knew what was going to have to happen.

Roy returned from the bathroom to find her with one leg out of her leggings. He kept his gaze on the floor.

“You ever do this before?”

It took a beat where he thought she was nodding before she realized she needed to answer verbally. “Yeah. On my arm.”

“Okay. This’ll probably hurt a little more.”

She hissed when the disinfectant made contact with her skin and flinched badly at the first poke of the sewing needle. Not that he could totally judge her for that kind of aversion.

“You said a little.”

“My bad.”

Once he had finished closing up the wound, she grabbed a blanket off the back of the couch to throw over her lap which brought him some comfort. Roy sat back, watching her. “So when did this start?”

She shrugged. “A month or so back, officially. But it’s been coming.”

He thought he knew what she meant by that. The slow simmering of anger waiting to boil over into outrage at just how much everything here sucked. How unfair it was, how impossible it was for most people to escape.

“And the guy that shot you?”

Her head bowed for a moment. “He shot himself, in a way. I was trying to get the gun off him. It grazed me, but…”

She didn’t have to finish. 

Roy shrugged. “Then he got what he deserved.”

“What he deserved was to be tried for his crimes,” Laurel maintained, though her shoulders slumped and she lost the haughty look. “But I can’t say I’m devastated he’s gone. It’ll keep Taylor safe, at least.”

“Who’s Taylor?”

“A kid. His parents were trying to sue a man called Rasmus for losing their savings, and he hired a hitman to take care of the problem. The hitman killed the Moores a couple of nights ago, then came back to try and finish the job.”

Roy’s fists clenched at the thought. What kind of sick person targeted a little boy for something he wasn’t really even a part of? “How’d you hear about all this? I mean, was it the Hood or…?”

She shook her head. “The Hood has his own operation going on. I’m just doing my part where I can.”

“But you know him, right?” Roy couldn’t quite keep the eagerness out of his voice. “Or you know how to get in touch. I’ve been looking for him since he saved my life.”

Laurel said nothing, only studied him.

“Do you know if, I don’t know, I could help him somehow? I know how to fight.”

“The Hood’s mission is a personal one. I’m not sure that he’d be willing to risk someone else getting hurt,” Laurel said, smirking as she added, “There’s a reason I’m on my own.”

Roy looked down. So she thought it would be a no.

“He has a team.”

The unexpected words caused Roy’s head to jerk up sharply.

“I could see if he’s in need of anyone else to provide support. That’s the best I can promise you.”

It was better than he’d had. “I could help you fight out there.”

Laurel considered him. “You have a lot of good instincts, but they’re not honed. It’s going to take some training for you to be able to do more damage to them than they do to you.”

“That’s not a no.”

“It’s a we’ll see. Find yourself a way to train first. I’d recommend a guy except I think he’d kill me for sending another vigilante to his doorstep,” she remarked with enough lightness in her tone to make him think she was probably joking. “But for now, you shouldn’t be out there looking for trouble.”

He rolled his eyes. “Okay, mom.”

Laurel shook her head. “I am not old enough or financially and materially stable enough to be a mother.”

“Yeah, neither were my parents,” said Roy. He thought he caught her smirking at that in spite of herself. “I guess I should let you sleep the pain off.”

“That would help. I’ve got work tomorrow.” She stood with a low groan, wrapping the blanket around her waist like a skirt. “That’s not gonna be a fun walk.”

“You ever think about getting a bike?” He asked. “It’d get you around faster at night. Be easier to avoid the cops.”

She frowned. “Couldn’t afford it.”

“I know a guy who sells them cheap. They don’t have all the parts, but we could fix them up probably. Or I could.” He shrugged. “Support stuff, right?”

When he chanced a glance up, Laurel was smiling at him. “That’s not a bad idea. Tell me when we can see your guy.”

Roy felt his hope reignite, and he nodded. “Yeah, could probably get us in by the end of the week. But, uh, I guess you need my number.” He grabbed a pen off her counter and scribbled it on a to-go menu. Laurel grabbed it up with her free hand, nodding to herself.

“Okay. I’ll message you so you have mine, and I’ll let you know when I’m available.”

“Daytime would be best. I’ve got this new job. A real one, at the Verdant.”

For some reason, she smirked at that. “Good for you. You should stick around there.”

“Okay.” Roy backed up towards the door. “I’ll see you. Uh, what do you go by?”

“Laurel?” She said skeptically.

He snorted. “I meant like your vigilante persona. Everybody’s got different names floating out there. The Woman, Lady in Black, Angel, stuff like that.”

“And some less flattering monikers, I’m sure.” Laurel looked off into some kind of middle distance. “I don’t know. I hadn’t given it much thought.”

“Maybe you should.” He shrugged one shoulder and headed out the door. Once it shut behind him, he couldn’t resist pumping his fist.

He was in with the vigilantes. Well, one of them at least. And he’d make sure Laurel felt he was indispensable so that she’d have to agree he made the cut. And then someday, she might even introduce him to the Hood, and he could repay the man who had saved his life and shown him this new path.

He was finally going to make a difference.

#lauriver #laurel x oliver #laurel lance #oliver queen #arrow #green arrow #black canary #my writing #bird in a storm

[irisbleufic]

Happy 2020! Can I tag you to do that 2019 Fic Year in Review thing?

Happy New Year to you, too!  Sure thing.  I can’t remember the last time I did one of these; since 2019 is the end of a decade, it feels fitting.  Here goes…

14 February 2019: After spending 14 of my 15 years (2020 marks the start of my 16th year) in Good Omens fandom working on it, I finally finished and posted the 75th and final installment of Crown of Thorns [The Walls, the Wainscot, and the Mouse] ’Verse.  LiveJournal was still the fandom’s primary posting hub when I posted the first-ever installment, A Better Place, on 1 October 2005.  The series didn’t get its second installment (The Walls, the Wainscot, and the Mouse) until 2010, but work on the series from that point forward was pretty much constant.  2012 saw a higher number of CoT updates than any year previous; that was also the year I transferred it to AO3.

25 February 2019: I finished and posted the last chapter of my third Good Omens collaborative fic ’verse with @procrastinatingbookworm, Turn In Your Arms.  We couldn’t believe there was no Good Omens fusion with Tam Lin, so we went for it.  Given our first collaboration in 2018 was a Good Omens fusion with Groundhog Day (Game Over, Insert Coin), that wasn’t a stretch.

27 February 2019: @aspiringjedi and I posted the first of our two Good Omens meta-essays, Making An Effort: Queer (Trans) Masculinity in the Ethereal & Occult Beings of Good Omens.  Yes, it’s 1,990 words due to the novel’s publication year.  When you’re just under 2,000 words anyway, why not?

28 February 2019: @procrastinatingbookworm and I followed up Turn In Your Arms with a brief sequel, Burn After Reading.  All of our collaborations to date have ended up as multi-story mini ’verses.

25 March - 20 April 2019: I went about as livid over Gotham’s Season 5 as I did over Season 3 and wrote Darkroom to address how dirty the show did Bruce and Jeremiah.  I had a stand-alone Season 4 fix-it story (focusing on Oswald and Edward, like most of my other Gotham work) called Triage from 2018 that had never quite felt like it was meant to be a stand-alone.  Triage and Darkroom became the first two installments of a series called Playing for Keeps, to which I added another 6 stories by April 20th.  Darkroom somehow got more traffic than any of my other Gotham pieces since When You Find It, Run over in DDO ’Verse (although those two stories are keystone pieces in much larger series, they can both be read as stand-alones).

4 April 2019: In the midst of working on the aforementioned, @aspiringjedi posted our second Good Omens meta-essay, Southern Pansies: Subversive (Trans) Masculinity in the Ethereal & Occult Beings of Good Omens.

8 May 2019: Brief blip back into Pacific Rim fic!  I posted a missing Anthology correspondence/inset ficlet called L’amour, c’est comme la guerre.  For anyone who ever wanted more of the email correspondence in Anthology’s final chapter, this fills in some gaps you didn’t know were there.

16 May 2019: Thanks to some behind-the-scenes persuasion from several really tenacious Gotham readers who didn’t want me to abandon it / shut down DDO ’Verse, I completed The Knights’ Tour after almost a year on hiatus from it.  This turned out to light a fresh fuse on DDO, because TTK didn’t end up being the final story in the series like I had once planned.

18 May 2019: The only His Dark Materials fic I’ve ever written, also a Gotham fusion, got a belated new final chapter.  Gold Dust is sort of an alternate take on DDO ’Verse, one in which Dust and daemons are present.

23 May 2019: I posted what I thought would be a stand-alone Gotham story called The Meaning of This City.  It manages to be a marginally less dark and complicated take on the Bruce-and-Jeremiah situation (than Darkroom over in PfK ’Verse, that is) without sacrificing some of the most difficult features of what they need to overcome.  More on why this didn’t remain a stand-alone in a bit.

6 June 2019: Good Omens requests came around, one of which led me to follow the Imagine Hastur Ficlets (which themselves exist thanks to the accidental prompts at @imaginehastur) interlude in CoT with The Imagine Hastur Epilogue.  This was a sort of neat in-narrative way to deal with having gradually come out about my biological (inter)sex and (nonbinary) gender identity over the 14 years I worked on CoT. 

15 June - 1 July 2019: I posted another Good Omens collaboration-set with @procrastinatingbookworm called Have Faith at the series-title level.  The two stories in it, You Bloody Snake and Enough of a Bastard, focus almost entirely on Hastur and Ligur.  Seeing Aziraphale and Crowley through different (and less favorable) eyes was a weird pleasure; seeing people indignantly realize they were enjoying fic about Hastur and Ligur was even more of one!

15 August 2019: @verumx persuaded me to watch Jamie Marks Is Dead with her and @one-eyed-bossman, and then implored me to fix it.  Using Our Words is the stand-alone that resulted, which is no shock given I can’t resist ghost stories.  It’s unique among this year’s stories in that it may be the only genuine stand-alone aside from the Gotham piece called Gold Dust.

17 August 2019: After an experimental in-character snail mail letter-writing exchange that lasted about 6 weeks, @verumx and I transcribed the letters and framed them in a piece of collaborative Gotham fic, We Were All Forgiven.  Since about late April, I had been getting progressively sicker and sicker (didn’t know yet that I had cancer).  Keeping busy as things got worse helped at least in the psychological sense, but by mid-August my exhaustion and difficulty eating were hitting their peak.  I was hiding it from everyone except my partner.

1 September 2019: Returning to two stories I’d written for Batman: Europa, I created a series umbrella called Once Is Not Enough and explicitly placed London (Letting Go) and Five Love Affairs under it as companion pieces.  Between Thursday Friday of this particular week, I experienced an increasingly more frightening set of symptoms that landed me in the ER and got a sequence of diagnostic tests finally rolling.

22 October 2019: After receiving a diagnosis of colon cancer on 10/1/19 and starting medical leave Monday of Halloween Week, I decided to complete the sequel to The Meaning of This City, which was a Gotham piece I’d left hanging mid-progress for weeks.  The Maze of Your Ingenuity was hard for me to complete due to constant blood tests, CT scans, and outpatient procedures in the lead-up to my Thanksgiving Week major inpatient surgery, but I did it.

23 September - 11 December 2019: My longest Gotham fic ’verse (Delicate, Dangerous, Obsessed, a.k.a. DDO), having refused to die even once The Knights’ Tour was complete, got an entirely new ending stretch of stories focusing on, of all people, Jerome Valeska and Five (514A).  They were the only two characters from canon who I had mentioned and/or shown briefly in passing earlier in DDO, but whose arcs from canon (and onward into my fic) I had done nothing to wrap up.  Challengers, Thicker Than Blood, Take This Waltz (It’s Yours Now), Finally Fair (In Love and War), and What We’re For (And What We Want) may, collectively, be the best writing I did during the entirety of 2019 (unless you count what I wrote in February to finish CoT).  The experience of terrifying, unexplained illness and harrowing treatment was entirely too timely to one of my two protagonists in this set of stories.  They were worth their weight not just in distraction, but also in catharsis.  Five survived, and so did I.

#good omens #gotham #wayleska #fic year in review #fanfiction

[naysaltysalmon]

Shoutout to @tiburme for tagging me~!

Rules: Name 10 favorite characters from 10 different things and then tag 10 people.

Oh, massive spoilers below btw.

1. Gon Freecss from Hunter x Hunter: My favorite shounen protagonist by far. At first you think he’s your typical happy-go-lucky bouncy boye :D who definitely doesn’t have abandonment issues or self-destructive tendencies that literally actually almost kill him later on, and then, uwu... The amount of complexity that Gon has as a protagonist who hardly ever has stand-alone development is nothing short of astounding. How during the Chimera Ant Art his characterization totally dips off to the side to become an unknowable entity even to the audience, while still retaining amazing character development regardless -- not to mention how brilliantly daring his decision to threaten Komugi is that nearly every other author with such a happy-go-lucky protagonist would shy away from in cowardice -- is absolutely surreal to me. The more I think and write about Gon, the more I fall in love with him. If I ever meet his father, and by that I mean his real father, the creator, Togashi, I have nothing else to say but,,, well done, sir.

2. Tanjirou Kamado from Demon Slayer: I’m really hoping the Demon Slayer movie comes out soon because I absolutely love this boy and how charming he is. Unlike most protagonists, not just of shounen anime but of seemingly macho story lines that involve power-ups and training in general, Tanjirou never lets go of his kind heart. (Welp, except maybe in some cases when he’s facing the Upper Moons later on -- I haven’t caught up yet -- but WE’RE GONNA IGNORE THAT for now.) From the beginning, Tanjirou’s kindness isn’t an obstacle holding back his power, though other characters pose it that way, but rather he cultivates his empathy to grant peace to the demons he faces. He smiles in the face of anyone who treats him poorly because of his cluelessness, and that’s just so heartwarming to see, and dare I say subversive to the hardened, calculating, and cocky male protagonists we so often get. Good job, Gotouge.

3. Joseph Joestar from JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure: Giorno Giovanna was a close second, but I gotta go with Joseph. He’s the one who made me fall in love with the series, and with the later parts too. Unlike Jonathan Joestar, who was chivalrous and manly, Joseph was a riot: colorful, arrogant, funny, but also extremely clever. I absolutely loved his, “Next you’ll say...!” because at first I expected it to just be him being an overconfident asshole and eventually he’d be proven wrong at the ~Dai Pinchi Moment~ (please excuse my weeb speech, I legit didn’t know what else to call it), but then he hit the mark every time and eventually I was just waiting for when he’d pull that out and it was so hype. Also I surely can’t forget his transformation as an old dude in Part 3 -- him screaming “OOHHHH MY GAAAWDDDA!” and “HOLY SHIIIT!” murdered me every time. And of course, last but not least, the raw fucking emotion when Caeser died -- the dude actually gave a shit and wasn’t made entirely of wit and absurdity, but heart too. Joseph set the tone for what JJBA was as a whole for me (fuck off with that “but Part 3/Part 4 is the best Part” bullshit, Part 2 will always be top tier for me because of Joseph Joestar’s brilliant, bright, and beautiful absurdity -- but Part 5 was really good too). Araki really is a genius.

4. Link from The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess: My love for this series is a bit older than the series I’ve already mentioned, and TLoZ: TP was actually probably the first time I got seriously obsessed with a fandom. I love all the Links in their own ways, but Twilight Princess really drove home the “lone wolf chosen by the gods, fighting against the world” narrative for me. It made me feel important and strong at a time when no one cared about me. Seeing Link struggle silently through his quest with villagers who meant well but did nothing for him, and Midna who started out as a reluctant acquaintance and eventually became so much more, meant so much to me at the time I played the game. I will always love Twilight Princess the most because of what it did for me at one of the darkest times in my life, and because I felt completely and utterly immersed in every part of the story and gameplay through Link’s character, who was, and in many ways, still is, so relatable to me: Silent courage really is what I use to get through every day.

5. Greedling from Fullmetal Alchemist (Brotherhood): For once I’m not naming the protagonist of a series! Lissen, I still smile whenever I see the slightest reference to Edward Elric, but now he’s more of my childhood love. He’s just a part of my personality already? LOL. Anyway, FMA(B) has so many good characters that choosing just one doesn’t feel right (I mean, same with HxH tho). I say Greedling because that encompasses both Ling and Greed though, two of my favorite characters from the series! Ling’s apparent childishness in constantly running away from fights, making other people pay for his food, and failing to grasp the seriousness of the situation (until Lan Fan’s arm gets cut off lol oops) is so adorable and entertaining. He’s the best kind of idiot asshole, and I especially love how he teases Ed. After him and Greed fuse, Ling’s stout heart becomes even more apparent, as he constantly eggs Greed on to remember his past life, his friends, and become someone outside of Father/the Dwarf in the Flask. Conversely, Greed’s nonchalance and (of course) avarice are nothing short of entertaining and heartbreaking. Greed’s realization at the end, when he finally admitted to himself that what he wanted all along were “friends like these,” completely crushed me the first few times I watched FMAB. And when he’s screaming in the tunnels under Central after having killed Bido, remembering his friends, and he doesn’t understand why, and later attacks Wrath/King Bradley... that shit was so entertaining and cathartic to watch. None of his development feels like forced redemption, nor like it was too little development, since it mostly happens in the background and away from the “validating eyes” of the protagonists other than Ling. And at the end, when Ling and Greed work together to take down Bradley and all the soldiers invading Central HQ... it’s so beautiful. Many have said this before but I’ll say it again: Hiromu Arakawa wrote the perfect series.

6. Ciel Phantomhive from Black Butler: Another protagonist! And another older obsession of mine. Ciel remains in my mind to this day mainly for his heartlessness in relation to his age, and the fluidity with which Toboso tells his story. Normally when authors write younger characters into their serious stories, they make “child adults” of sorts, but Ciel feels totally realistic to the extent that he is both childish and adult to me. Obviously, Ciel is responsible and (normally) level-headed due to being the head of the Phantomhive household, but also from trauma. Yet, his cruelty at times is what sticks in my mind the most: You really feel that he’s someone who feels he’s been abandoned by the entire world, given his experiences, and that makes him disregard or use others sometimes in order to reach his own ends. Normally, authors would be too cowardly to let their protagonists, let alone child protagonists, go to such lengths to avenge their family, or carry out their duty as the dog of the military (looking at you, Arakawa -- she’s still a goddess tho). But Ciel is unforgiving. He lies to Snake and tells him his troupe is still alive. He murders the entire troupe because he’s triggered -- a childish decision, but driven with adult-like power due to trauma. It’s devastatingly riveting, and I cannot forget his unrelenting, contained rage to this day.

7. Ahsoka Tano from Star Wars: The Clone Wars: This one may come as a shock to most of you, because I hardly ever post Star Wars let alone Ahsoka content on here -- but it’s true. Other than the blatant, half-assedly inserted heteroromantic partner they gave Ahsoka in, like, idk season 3??, Ahsoka is a fucking goddess. From her origin as a wee baby in the earlier seasons who didn’t really know what she was doing and was a bit of a cocky brat, to how she matures and becomes wise, resourceful, and fierce in the later seasons, I just love Ahsoka’s design and character to this day. The episodes that stick in my mind aside from the obvious are when she’s possessed by the Dark Side of the Force on that Force balance planet and her arrogance becomes so exaggerated that she threatens and attacks Anakin, her teacher. It was so fucking cathartic. Normally female characters, let alone young protagonist female characters, are never allowed to show the ugly sides of themselves in fiction, since women are always portrayed as perfect beautiful majestic angels or some bullshit like that. (Or they’re cocky/sexy/slutty villain women. ‘Kay then.) Seeing Ahsoka devolve into her basal desires and come out of it like hardly anything happened and she’s still a perfectly valid character was so amazing to see on a meta level; it wasn’t about her learning a lesson or anything, it was a thing that happened like any other character and then they moved the fuck on. I also distinctly remember the episode where she was trapped on that island/planet and she had to take out the aliens that were after her all by herself. That was so fucking empowering to watch and god fucking dammit I need to rewatch this series now. And of course, let us not forget the fact that the entire time, we were all expecting Ahsoka to just be another domino in Anakin’s downfall -- and she was, but not through the refrigerator -- but through walking away from it all. That was so powerful and moving -- and heartbreaking. By the end of TCW, her character carried weight and agency in the narrative, and god, I only wish whoever wrote her could write more female characters in the future.

8. Tigress from Kung Fu Panda: Maybe another surprise, but I think she deserves this spot. Tigress is a female character who starts out as kind of an antagonist, given how she outright tells Po to leave the kung fu temple within the first day of him arriving. She’s even jealous of the fact that he’s chosen as the Dragon Warrior rather than her -- but that’s due to the backwash of years of trying to live up to the memory of Tai Lung in order to please Shifu (which means “master” in Chinese but ok I’ll shut up now), her master and mentor over the years. She never says this out loud in the movie, which is what makes her character more believable. Others even joke about how stoic she is (and not in bad taste). Her character development is definitely present for those who are looking -- but I put her on this list because I’m so happy the movie doesn’t make it some huge dramatic emotional thing, because so often in media women are depicted as being overly-emotional and here Tigress is just a hurt child trying to make her mentor happy. But, she gets over it, her and Po become allies, even friends to each other -- she and Po talk like equals in the second and third movies, and she even tells him to back out of the fight with Lord Shen and he listens (I mean he doesn’t stay put but he doesn’t undermine her opinion either lol, like most jokesy protagonists of Western media would -- looking at you, Marvel). I like Tigress because she’s an antagonist without being a bitch, she’s powerful without being overpowered, and she’s not sexualized despite being a well-trained, at times jealous, and even emotionally awkward kung fu master. And I almost forgot to mention the best part: There is never an indication of romance between her and Po, or any other character, for that matter. She’s perfectly capable, complex, and lovely on her own terms. And that’s that on THAT.

9. Bilbo Baggins from The Hobbit: I wanted to include at least one character protagonist from a live-action movie/book, lol. I feel like Bilbo’s pretty self-explanatory. He doesn’t wanna go on an adventure because he likes his doilies and warm sheets, but then Gandalf seduces him with the call to the outside world and possible death (LOL), and he fucking goes for it, grumbling the entire time. Isn’t that what any of us would do if given such a proposition? I like to think so. Bilbo obviously has his own gradual, evil transformation with the One Ring, becomes murderous and uses it to disappear, and grows a strong bromance with the King Under the Mountain (which happens in both the movie and the book), but I think what I like about him is that he really feels... down-to-earth? Like even though the adventure changes him, it never feels like he’s been stretched in a way that makes his core character traits of grumbling and bluntness disappear. He gets better at the whole adventuring thing, for sure, but he remains Bilbo, at least, to me, throughout the journey. It was heartwrenching watching him try to save Thorin in The Battle of Five Armies, honestly, but Bilbo’s the kind of character that I feel like has his own story and mythology aside from The Hobbit, and maybe that’s just the result of J.R.R. Tolkien writing the lore for every aspect of his universe, but My Point Still Stands. He feels like his own man apart from the series he’s in, yet he’s still so much fun in his series.

10. Barley Lightfoot from Onward: And last, this one is because I saw Onward yesterday and was pleasantly surprised by the characterization in it -- and anyone who thinks differently can kiss my *ss. :) I was not expecting the movie to take the twist of fleshing out the “annoying” (more like adorable) overconfident nerdy big brother. Normally those characters are swiped to the side because God Forbid The Comic Relief Have Any Sadness In Them. I was expecting the movie to focus on Ian’s journey to meet his fatha and that the movie would pull something stupid at the end like “oh actually there’s another phoenix gem underneath the school” or “actually since only his legs appeared then you still have 24 hours with him” or some shit like that, but I guess this isn’t an anime so those absurdist explanations wouldn’t hold water anyway. But still, for a kid’s movie, I was NOT expecting this movie to go so hard with the characterization. For once, the main character doesn’t get what he wants at the end, and instead realizes it’s his big brother, Barley, who’s been looking out for him his entire life. Meeting his dad would betray that reality. What happens instead is that the lovable big brother never actually said goodbye to their dad before he died, because when their dad got sick, said brother ran away from the hospital room in fear of all the life-sustaining equipment. (Is this some meta thing about Chris Pratt and Guardians of the Galaxy? Off topic and call me stupid, but I didn’t realize Chris Pratt plays him until I saw everyone freaking out about it afterward on Tumblr laksjdflak.) So instead, the lovable big brother talks to the dad at the end, and unconfident younger brother grows confidence and thanks big bro for being with him his entire life. It was so touching, dude. I cry. But the moment that sticks in my mind the most was when Ian was crossing the invisible bridge... Ian needed to have confidence in himself to be able to cross over a chasm in their path, and Barley knew that if Ian didn’t believe in himself, he would fall and die. They tie a rope around Ian for good measure, and Barley encourages him the entire way, but halfway over, the rope comes loose and slips off. Barley sees this and starts panicking, but of course continues to encourage Ian so that Ian will get to the other side. What got to me wasn’t the fact that he faked it for Ian, but that there are actual tears running down his face as he’s encouraging Ian to get to the other side, because he knows otherwise Ian wouldn’t have the confidence and would fall to his death. Like dude, that raw, complex emotion in a kid’s movie?! DUDE?! I was fucking surprised. The clear anxiety and grief in Barley’s face as Ian’s totally clueless and even dancing around in the air was just too much, omfg. Of course, then it’s played off for laughs, but... I guess that makes sense for the annoying overconfident nerdy big bro character. :’)

Okay these are way longer than I anticipated and I’m sorry, but also I’m really not. Hope you enjoyed reading my thoughts on my favs!

Seems I don’t talk to that many people on here anymore: @stupidbluejay @mirycactusito @chronicstarlight

#Nay talks #a lot #i'm sorry but not sorry #TL;DR: Deku isn't on here because Tanjirou is a better boy sorry #Fullmetal Alchemist #Hunter x Hunter #The Legend of Zelda #The Hobbit #Onward #Kung Fu Panda #Star Wars: The Clone Wars #Black Butler #JoJo's Bizarre Adventure #Demon Slayer

[picturebookmakers]

Axel Scheffler

In this post, Axel takes us on a journey through his art studio and career. As well as sharing wonderful development work from some of his much-loved picturebooks, he shows us unseen sketchbook pages, early illustration commissions, etchings he made as a student, and his recent work to educate children about the coronavirus.

Visit Axel Scheffler’s website

Axel: I’m not really sure how many books I’ve illustrated in the 30+ years that I’ve been working. Over 150. I mostly work for the UK market, but occasionally I do books with German publishers. Not picturebooks though, so nothing that collides with the co-edition market.

Each of the boxes you see here contains one of my books: the sketches, illustrations, dummies, alternate versions of covers, everything.

I organised these boxes with Liz, my assistant, to have all the main books there so we can find things for exhibitions. There’s still lots of drawings in these boxes which aren’t sorted yet. Liz is such a great help, but it’s very difficult for me to keep on top of everything. I think I would probably need two Lizes, or perhaps three.

So yes, I don’t really know where to begin... I’ve got endless sketchbooks and little drawings on paper. I’ve got some really old sketchbooks I could show you.

Shall we start with The Gruffalo?

My early sketches of the Gruffalo were thought by my editor to be too scary for small children. So I had to make him a bit rounder and more ‘cuddly’. Initially, I‘d also thought that all the animals would be wearing clothes, as they often do in picturebooks. But Julia had different ideas, and to be honest I was relieved. How would I have dressed the snake?

Here’s some spreads from the dummy...

I tried a lot of alternate covers for this book; I think there were twelve in total. There’s some where the Gruffalo doesn’t even feature on the cover.

My latest book with Julia is called ‘The Smeds and The Smoos’. It was quite nice to work on because it’s so different from the other books we’ve done together. The text is a bit like a mixture between Dr Seuss and Lewis Carol; it has this nonsense element. But it’s basically Romeo and Juliet in outer space.

It’s an alien story, so I didn’t have to draw any rabbits or squirrels for a change, and I could invent more. I had more freedom. But like always, I got bored with drawing the same characters over and over again. But that’s picturebooks.

There was quite a lot of development work in the case of this book. But when it’s a story about a fox or a squirrel, I don’t do this kind of stuff. Over the years, it’s become much quicker and easier working on my books. I do far less research than I used to. Now I generally just do a quick pencil sketch then go straight to artwork.

Sometimes I have to start again because things go wrong though. This was a finished piece that was abandoned. I think I suddenly thought that the rocket was far too big or something. I do that; I work on something for ages, and then I suddenly look at it from a distance and realise that something needs redoing.

Did you spot the little Gruffalo in this picture? Since ‘The Snail and the Whale’, I’ve hidden a Gruffalo in each of my books with Julia (not ‘The Ugly Five’ though).

For almost all of the books Julia and I have done together, our editor has been Alison Green. We’re an old established team. And I’ve always worked with the publisher Kate Wilson; I followed her from Macmillan to Scholastic, and then to Nosy Crow. Julia moved from Macmillan to Scholastic, and decided to stay there. So Julia and I have some of our joint titles with Macmillan and some with Scholastic. Julia does books with other illustrators for Macmillan, and I illustrate other books for Nosy Crow.

People often ask me which of the books I’ve done with Julia is my favourite. It’s quite hard to choose, but I enjoyed working on ‘The Smartest Giant in Town’. I liked the way I could do a crazy world with animals, giants, fairytale characters, everything mixed together without anyone caring or questioning it. I’ll show you a few things from the box...

For this book, the cover was changed at the last minute. The original design had the title written on a poster stuck on a brick wall, but the sales people said they wanted a landscape, so I did another one. Years later, they used the original design for a new paperback edition, so it wasn’t completely wasted in the end.

I mentioned my endless sketchbooks earlier. I’ll show you a few of them. This was mainly me playing around without thinking about what I was doing; it wasn’t a conscious thing.

I haven’t looked at these sketchbooks for ages. It was such a long time ago. I don’t work in sketchbooks like this anymore, and I no longer doodle. But for fun, I make illustrated envelopes for friends.

I often think about doing a book with just pictures, but I’m always too busy doing other things. Posthumously, perhaps there will be time to do this. I’d also love to experiment and be more spontaneous; it’s been my dream for decades to do something completely different. But when I receive a book project, I always feel under pressure to finish it, and I’m always late with everything, so I end up doing it the way I’ve always done it.

This is my drawing table, which is and always has been too small and too messy. I think I have to accept it will always be this way.

I use Saunders Waterford paper for my illustrations. It’s funny how we all have our special paper. My rough sketches are often quite small, so I have them blown up to the correct size. Then I trace the sketches on a lightbox onto my watercolour paper. After that, I draw the outlines in black ink with a dip pen. I colour everything with Ecoline inks using brushes, and then coloured pencils on top of it (I use Faber Polychromos and Prismacolour crayons). I might then need to redraw some of the black lines, or use some white gouache for highlights.

I studied History of Art in Hamburg, but left before graduating. I realised this wasn’t what I was good at; I’m not an academic.

Then I had to do my alternative service as conscientious objector. Sixteen months. There was still conscription then; that’s how old I am. I worked with mentally ill people in their homes. It was during this time that I had a friend studying ceramics at Bath Academy of Art in England. I went to visit her. I really didn’t know what else to do, so I thought maybe I could move to Bath and go to the art school. So this is what I did. The course was Visual Communications, so it was design, printmaking, photography, all that stuff. But I realised I only wanted to do illustration.

I’d gone to art college hoping to learn something. I don’t think that necessarily happened, but drawing intensively for three years was, I think, what I had needed to do. I don’t remember actually finishing any projects though.

Here’s some drawings from my student sketchbooks. I did lots of observational drawing back then, which I don’t anymore. I did it then because they told us to. I’m an obedient person!

While I was a student, I did an exchange in New York: Cooper Union Art College for three months. These drawings are of Jewish immigrants, meeting for coffee. It was 1984, so many of them were still alive; refugees from Germany or Austria. I heard them speaking German, so that’s how I knew.

Sketchbooks are such a good way of memorising things. Nobody really knows about these sketchbooks; I used to take them to interviews, but they’ve been hidden away for years.

After I graduated, I moved to London and took my portfolio around. My art teacher had suggested I should do this to get work, so that’s what I did. In those days, you had to ring them and ask to come around. I got two commissions straight away, and it’s been busy ever since, really. I’ve always had something to do.

Here’s some of my early commissions. Starting from 1985, I guess. Very pointy noses...

I did so much of this kind of work. It was a good way of earning money quickly. Occasionally, I still do editorial. I did some Brexit drawings for the remain campaign. Sadly, it didn’t help. Maybe I wrecked everything!

I’ll say a few words about the KIND book... 38 wonderful artists donated a picture to illustrate some of the many ways children can be kind. Such as sharing their toys or helping people from other countries to feel welcome.

One pound from each book sold goes to the Three Peas charity, which supports refugees from war-torn countries. It’s been a big success so far, and Three Peas has received a lot of money from sales in the UK and co-editions.

I’d quite like to do the UNKIND book next! I think illustrators would probably enjoy that, but I don’t imagine it would sell very well.

And now for something completely different! Some etchings I made when I was a student.

People often ask me which illustrators I’m inspired by. I don’t seek any direct influence on my work, but I’ve always said that Tomi Ungerer had the greatest influence on my approach to illustration. Although his style is quite different to mine, this humour and wackiness is something that has always appealed to me. And the details.

William Steig is someone I got into later, when I was already illustrating. And Edward Gorey of course. And Saul Steinberg. I think the Czech artist Jiří Šalamoun is wonderful. And I like Eva Lindström from Sweden a lot. She’s so great.

Okay, to finish with I’ll talk about the coronavirus work I’ve been doing...

I asked myself what I could do as a children’s illustrator to inform, as well as entertain, my readers here and abroad about the coronavirus. So I was glad when Nosy Crow asked me to illustrate a book on the subject. I think it’s extremely important for children and families to have access to reliable information in this unprecedented crisis.

You can download the free digital book in English here, and in over 60 other languages here.

I also wanted to do something light-hearted to cheer people up, and I thought, “What if I imagine some of our characters in corona situations?” Julia liked the idea and wrote rhymes for the new scenes. This was really more about entertainment than serious information.

Artwork and verse © Axel Scheffler and Julia Donaldson 2020. Based on characters from ‘The Gruffalo’s Child’ (2004), ‘Charlie Cook’s Favourite Book’ (2005), ‘The Smartest Giant in Town’ (2002), and ‘The Gruffalo’ (1999) — © Macmillan Children’s Books.

And here’s one more thing: my ‘letter from lockdown’. On The Children’s Bookshow website, you’ll find lockdown letters from lots of other wonderful authors and illustrators.

Illustrations © Axel Scheffler. Post edited by dPICTUS.

Buy this picturebook

The Gruffalo

Julia Donaldson & Axel Scheffler

Macmillan Children’s Books, UK, 1999

‘A mouse took a stroll through the deep dark wood. A fox saw the mouse and the mouse looked good.’

Walk further into the deep dark wood, and discover what happens when a quick-witted mouse comes face to face with an owl, a snake... and a hungry Gruffalo!

‘The Gruffalo’ has become a bestselling phenomenon across the world. This award-winning rhyming story of a mouse and a monster is now a modern classic, and will enchant children for years to come.

PUBLISHED IN THE FOLLOWING LANGUAGES & DIALECTS

Afrikaans

Albanian

Arabic

Australian

Azerbaijani

Basque

Belarusian

Bengali

Breton

Bulgaria

Catalan

Chinese (Simplified)

Chinese (Traditional)

Corsu

Croatian

Czech

Danish

Doric

Dundonian

Dutch

English

Esperanto

Estonian

Faroese

Farsi

Finnish

French

Frisian

Gaelic

Galician

Georgian

German

Glasgow Scots

Greek

Guernésiais

Hebrew

Hindi

Hungarian

Iceland

Indonesian

Irish

Italian

Jèrriais

Kazakh

Kölsch

Korean

Latin

Latvian

Lithuanian

Low German

Lowland Scots

Luxembourgish

Macedonian

Maltese

Manx Gaelic

Maori

Marathi

Mexican Spanish

Mongolian

Norwegian

Orcadian Scots

Polish

Portuguese

Portuguese (Brazil)

Romanian

Russian

Sami

Schwabisch

Serbian

Sesotho

Setswana

Shetland Scots

Slovakian

Slovenian

Spanish

Swedish

Swiss German

Tamil

Thai

Turkish

Ukrainian

US English

Vietnamese

Welsh

Xhosa

Zulu

Buy this picturebook

The Smeds and The Smoos

Julia Donaldson & Axel Scheffler

Alison Green Books, UK, 2019

The Smeds (who are red) never mix with the Smoos (who are blue). So when a young Smed and Smoo fall in love, their families disapprove.

But peace is restored and love conquers all in this happiest of love stories. There’s even a gorgeous purple baby to celebrate!

PUBLISHED IN THE FOLLOWING LANGUAGES

Afrikaans

Catalan

Croatian

Dutch

English

Finnish

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German

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Hungarian

Italian

Korean

Luxenbourghish

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Slovenian

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Buy this picturebook

Kind

Alison Green, Axel Scheffler & 38 illustrators

Alison Green Books, UK, 2019

Imagine a world where everyone is kind; how can we make that come true? With gorgeous pictures by a host of top illustrators, KIND is a timely, inspiring picturebook about the many ways children can be kind, from sharing their toys and games, to helping those from other countries feel welcome.

One pound from the sale of each printed copy will go to the Three Peas charity, which gives vital help to refugees from war-torn countries.

PUBLISHED IN THE FOLLOWING LANGUAGES

Bulgarian

Catalan

Chinese (Simplified)

Chinese (Traditional)

English

French

German

Greek

Hebrew

Italian

Korean

Netherlands

Portuguese (Brazil)

Romanian

Spanish

Swedish

Turkish

Vietnamese

#Germany / UK

[migleefulmoments]

Cassie: "Nonnie, I do get where you're coming from. I think C just realizes D is worth it and I do believe, in my heart of hearts, it won't always be this way." If your bf is choosing to live a fake life and expects you to just go along with it for X number of years, he is not worth it. I don't care if he is Darren Criss or any other attractive famous man, no person on Earth is worth the heartache that ccChris has probably been through whilst watching his "hubby" constantly choose fame over him.

Cassie’s answer really blew me away. She’s has chugged down all of Abby’s Kool-Aid and she’s fully buying into Abby’s juvenile ideas about relationships, sacrificing for love, and the power of love. THE 5 have clearly read Twilight one too many times! Everything they know about love, they learned from Bella and Edward who taught them with the idea that love is all-consuming, that there is no sacrifice that is too much as long as he loves you, and that in the end, happily ever will save the day. 

You’re right, there are a lot of scenarios where love is not enough and you have to walk away for your own mental or emotional well being. Sometimes it is an abusive partner making bad ccchoices and sometimes it is a wonderful partner whose future no longer looks like yours. One of my favorite Youtubers just announced she split with her husband 2 years ago and kept it a secret- even wearing her rings in the first half of this video! They broke up simply because they reached a point where they realized there was a fundamental difference in what they each wanted in life and the relationship couldn’t go forward (she wouldn’t say what that was). My husband’s cousin got divorced after her husband realized he wanted to be a dad and she wasn’t interested in children. Another YouTuber I watch called off their engagement after they realized she wanted a picket fence on a cul-de-sac and he wanted to a cave in the middle of nowhere (he was dead serious).  Their goals were incompatible and asking one to compromise wasn’t fair or healthy. ccDarren chose fame over ccChris and their relationship. ccDarren is unwilling to risk his position in Hollywood in order to openly love ccChris. He is so caught up in being THE actor, musician, and executive producer Darren Criss, that he married a woman he despises and spends all his time with her. She enjoys the lifestyle his fame has provided for him while ccChris has to hide in the rafters and scurry around ccDarren’s life completely unseen. ccDarren is incapable -or unwilling -to rid himself of his toxic team whose main goal is to “ccruin him” and by extension, ccChris. I don’t believe that the same man who gave this interview would choose to stay in a relationship where his feelings and needs always come second to ccDarren’s career.  Spending 1:00 am-7:00 am spooning the night away is hardly compensation for having to keep their relationship hidden and standing by while his lover lives his life with another person. Scurring in the dark and in disguise certainly isn’t enough to keep a relationship alive and healthy for 10 years.

(My comments are in italics below)

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Anonymous asked: I love Cc, but I just can’t imagine C agreeing with all this and if he did, my heart still hurts for him.

cassie1022 answered: Nonnie, you’re more than entitled to your opinion. I, respectfully, disagree. C is not a victim in all of this. He made a conscious and willing decision to stand with D. He’s just as culpable in all of this as D is and he’s tried to show that on more than one occasion. I’m not heartbroken for C and I don’t think he would want us to be. At the end of the day, he has a love most people only dream about. Many people perceive C as being the more fragile of the two, and I think that’s a grave mistake. C’s the glue that holds them together. He’s always had to fend for himself and the world wasn’t always kind to him. D grew up in this seemingly perfect little world where he trusted everyone and thought people were mostly good and that’s part of why he’s in this situation. (Cassie et. al believe that love makes it all ok and that ccChris chose to stay so making him as culpable as ccDarren. It’s an interesting theory- basically, she’s saying that anyone who is an abusive relationship is culpable for the abuse because they chose to stay in the relationship. This is a dangerous and harmful belief because it ignores all of the barriers that keep people in abusive relationships- lack of money, lack of a safe place to go, fearing for their lives if they leave, low self-esteem from the abuse-to name just a few. I realize that Cassie is just turning ccChris staying in an abusive relationship into ccconfirmation bias, but she’s speaking to a lot of young people who don’t understand that and are learning that they should always stay because love makes everything ok.  “At the end of the day, he has a love most people only dream about.” Besides the fact that that kind of love exists in fanfiction and Twilight, I am gobsmacked that a middle-aged adult would imagine she knows this about Chris Colfer’s love life. The most Chris has ever said about his love life is to say tell a young fan that his dedication was to his boyfriend, to acknowledge to Andy Cohen that he had a boyfriend, and to acknowledge to Sandra Bernhart that Will was his boyfriend. Oh, and he said several times that he was not in a relationship with Darren. To believe he has a “love that most people only dream about” she would have to fabricate every detail single details she thinks she knows.  That is not the behavior of a healthy adult.   Big strong ccChris who went through hell and came out so strong that nothing touches him now. He’s the “glue that holds them together” and the “Captain of the ship” even though he’s literally being ignored while ccDarren lives a very full life with Mia by his side. Poor widdle, innocent ccDarren who grew up wealthy and since wealthy people live perfect lives and everyone around them is kind, he never learned who to trust. Gag)  

flowersintheattic254 You only have to watch the impact theory interview to see what drives C. C is strong and he stands up for those who are marginalized. C is tough and stronger than people give home credit for and he’s loyal too. (See the video and my transcript below. Notice that Chris never mentions his love life in any of the statements that Flowers believes are 100% about his relationships) 

notes-from-nowhere:

I agree with @flowersintheattic254. This is such a good interview

Anonymous asked: I guess it makes sense that C’s the rock. I guess it’s just me thinking that since C’s out and proud, he deserves the same from his partner. But as you said, D was too trusting and I guess C is his strength, keeping him from giving up on everything shitty he’s going through. (Such a good little minion, repeating everything she’s groomed to believe) 

Cassie: Nonnie, I do get where you’re coming from. I think C just realizes D is worth it and I do believe, in my heart of hearts, it won’t always be this way.

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I listened to Chris’s interview and he was asked about ambition:

Chris: ... I was really good at playing that character (Kurt).  People really do think I was playing myself and although we were experiencing very very similar things, I was very different from that character.  I was much more cynical than that character.

Tom: In fact, I am glad you brought that up. I heard in an interview someone asked you if you were a character in Game of Thrones and you said ‘I want to say that I would be the Mother of Dragons but I think I am actually Cersei’. 

Chris: I‘m sorry but she is a woman who knows what she wants and she goes out and she gets it. Her methods-her strategy- is a little questionable but I just love any woman with a drive. I remember when I was in my senior year of high school I was chosen to put on my own show. It’s called the senior show.  Every year one senior in the drama class got selected to basically put on whatever they want and usually they would put on an SNL-type variety sketch kind of show, but I was like “Nope I’m writing a musical” and I gender-reversed Sweeny Todd and called it Shirley Todd so I could be Mrs. Lovett so I was Mr. Lovett.  Because we were all seniors, no one wanted to do it and I ended up blackmailing all of them to be in it.  It was a great show. 

Tom: Walk me through how that drive and ambition has manifested in your life. Is that something you value in yourself? Is that something that you’re skeptical of in yourself because when you answer that question- and I fully understand that was a little tongue-in-cheek, but when you say “I fear that I’m actually Cersei” is there part of you that is very cognizant that there is a line that you can cross with drive and ambition or...

Chris: Oh I think so, I think that ambition is so much a part of who I am-maybe to a fault- but I’ve never got to the point where I was so ambitions that I was causing harm. I think growing up, ambition and hope and goals and dreams was literally all that I had. My family didn’t have money and I wasn’t good looking and I wasn’t athletic, I could act and I could sing, I could write but there aren’t many areas for you to do that when you are a young person- at least when I was a young person they weren’t. So I think my ambition sort of just became my imaginary friend. It was a survival tool, it wasn’t narcissism, it was survival. 

Tom: In that, I can be somewhere else, I can be bigger than this, I can go places was that the sort of your savor mechanism?

Chris: Yeah, I think it was  Making a treasure map to a life that was better than what the life I was in currently. That is what it was for me.  Hence, why I also identify so much with fantasy and superheroes and Greek mythology and literature it was all part of ...yeah, I always use fictitious people as my examples of getting somewhere.

---------

Chris: To go back to what you said about bullying, I’m in a weird place right now because I played a bullied kid on national television, you know for 20 million people a week watched me get pushed into lockers and thrown on floors and called “a faggot” called “queer”... all these negative things and I experienced all that myself in real life.  I really let people know that was one of the reasons why people connected to my performance because it was coming from such a real place and I let people know i was bullied horribly when I was a kid. I was bullied so horribly in middle school that my mom pulled me out of school and homeschooled me because the harassment got so severe.  But I’m at his weird place right now that I feel like I’m so not a victim anymore ...that I kind of- maybe it’s my ego- I don’t know, but I get tired of being associated with someone who is bullied because I don’t allow that to happen anymore. At all! I’m proud of where I’m at now because the minute I see someone who tries to take advantage of me or isn’t kind... I have the option to walk away now- which I didn't when I was a kid. But I feel like I have to stop talking about it because I’ve told millions and millions of kids around the world that it is something you get to leave behind.  Because of my circumstances, I don’t get to leave it behind because I’m always asked about it and it’s a good thing to talk about because it’s still going on but as a certain point, I feel like I’m doing the kids who look up to me a disservice when I keep talking about it becuase it does-maybe for them-  seem like it doesn’t leave me. Does that make sense?

Tom: If this was the last words that you speak on the subject of being bullied what would you say that was your process to close that chapter.. to feel good about yourself.  I’m definitely putting words in your mouth, being born in some way where that is not who you are anymore? 

Chris: It is really about just knowing that you get to move on from it. That is the thing... adolescence is the toughest time in your life because you have no freedom but you have all this responsibility. You are expected to make adult decision but you don’t get the benefits of being an adult and you’re literally trapped in an environment- high school- unless you are homeschooled. You have no control of who you are around and probably the lesson or the bridge that I crossed in my life that has given me the most relief is knowing that I don’t have to be in any environment that I do not want to be in. I think that would be the message that I would give to kids who are being bullied. But also the world is full of assholes. Bullies, they do go away at a certain point, but there will always be people in your life that you don’t like, that are mean and rude and when you do go through a period of harassment- especially when you are young- you do learn how to overcome that and how to maybe have inner peace but you can’t ever control the world around you but you do learn a lot of good communications skills. I think. 

Chris makes it very clear that he is NOT Kurt

Chris identifies with a character who knows what she wants and goes out and gets it. That is very different from ccChris who is sitting back and accepting that he is not a priority for 10 years and counting. 

Ambition and drive are very important to Chris- ccChris is allowing Darren to drive the relationship.  Darren is getting everything he wants while Chris continues to make all of the sacrifices.  

Chris is adamant that he will not be bullied every again and that he will wake away from anyone taking advantage of him. The cc fandom heard this and saw it as confirmation bias because he is still in a ccrelationship with ccDarren aka he doesn’t see the relationship as being abusive or that he’s being taken advantage of therefore ccChris just confirmed CrissCofler is real and that ccChris is in control. 

The final paragraph is once again confirmation bias- Chris no longer has to be in an environment he doesn’t want to be in- hence he’s happy with ccDarren. By saying that people are still assholes, he confirmed that Ryan Murphy, Mia and Darren’s team are all assholes but he’s in control now and it doesn’t let them ruin his life.. 

#cc #ccer #crisscolfer #Chris Colfer #Impact Theory #Chris choose to be with Darren #debunking cc nonsense #Chris speaks