#and dinner is never certain like right now i have no clue

[cowboyjen68]

Hi Jen, sorry for dumping a big rant in your askbox but your blog has helped me figure out my identity and I don’t have anyone to talk to about this in real life lol. Feel free to delete if this is too weird.

So I’m a 17 y/o butch, and I have been masculine since I was a little kid. I always felt lucky to have a family that was generally okay with my gender nonconformity. They treated it like a cute quirk of mine, and I never felt like I was being judged or that I should change the way I am around them. My dad got a kick out of it. One summer he let me help him build the deck in our backyard. He always took me to baseball games, he dressed me up in his old clothes, basically treated me like I was his son and I loved it.

I feel like as I get older, my masculinity becomes less acceptable. I went to visit my paternal grandmother for the holidays, hadn’t seen her in a few years, and the first thing she said to me was “I thought you would’ve grown out of all that by now” (in reference to my haircut and outfit, I think.) I just don’t know how to react to the way my extended family treats me now. They used to be totally fine with it, but I spent my entire Christmas feeling like I was being judged for every little thing.

Like, what’s changed? Why is it cute and funny when a little girl wears boy’s clothes and wrestles with her cousins, but disgusting when I grow up and settle into my masculinity?

It’s like I’ve crossed the invisible line between being a tomboy and being a dyke, and now no one wants to entertain it anymore.

Again, sorry for the rant haha, I just feel like I’m going crazy because I tried to talk to my sister about it and she said she didn’t notice them acting any different, but I swear my aunt spent half of our Christmas dinner telling me how pretty I would be if I just wore a bit of makeup lmaoo. I’m just wondering if anyone else has experienced this, because I’m feeling pretty lost right now. Thanks, and happy holidays!

It is not weird at all. I hear that young lesbians, particularly butches, do not have older role models to bounce ideas off of or vent or get any perspective on certain experiences. Moms and Dads and straight sisters and cousins, no matter how well meaning, will just not always "get" what is happening. They say things like "we love you no matter what" and "we don't care if you are a lesbian" and they mean it, mostly. But they often don't see the subtle clues (or blatant ones)they toss around that indicates how uncomfortable they are with you being so visible, but just existing as you naturally are.

AND OH MY GOSH yes I have experienced exactly what you are talking about with the deepening judgement as you move from a cute little Tomboy to an adult butch women. It is almost like they hope to "catch it early" when we are in our teens and redirect us away from the "danger" of being a visible lesbian. And a woman who does not, in very overt ways, conform to their idea of how a woman should be and act.

My dad was relatively consistent in treating me pretty much like he would a son and, to his credit, he did so with my straight sister. We were allowed to do just about anything my older brothers did. In part because my sister was pretty strong willed but also a lot like him. I was less strong willed but she had mowed the path.

Mom was the one who was forever concerned about my looks and behavior, both out of worry I would not fit in, and because she had a certain expectation of how her daughter should grow up. Both normal Mom reactions. She understood bullies and knew that sticking out could be difficult. Her solution was not to strengthen my resilience but to attempt to "tone me down". Her efforts increased as I made the jump from kid to teen and into my late teens. She would discourage me from cutting my hair, becoming almost angry when I brought it up. She would tell me how lovely I was in dresses and skirts and say thing like " a little make up would be nice". It got really old. It lead to us not always getting along even though I loved and respected my mom. She was a great mom. But this one thing made us both crazy. She could not cool it and I could not change who I was.

Friends at school saw hints of my liking girls. I stopped wearing cowboy boots and my favorite horse buckle and it their place went with K Mart Tennis shoes and a generic belt that came with my pants, again, from Kmart. I put away the cowboy fringed shirts and flannel and went with simple jeans and sweatshirts, the acceptable attire for boys and girls in my rural high school. I kept my hair long to disguise my "looking like a boy" traits.

I (barf) agreed to date a boy and spent the better part of that time making excuses to not kiss him or spent time with him. I was starting to listen to mom and do my best to hide ME from the world. Anything (with in reason) to throw the world off the scent, the scent of me being a lesbian. Being butch made that one more step difficult.

It is hard to hide the space we take up naturally.

It might seem hard to see it now by your family is slightly well intentioned, knowing that being "seen" easily as a lesbian can be dangerous. But also, they are uncomfortable with your energy and physical presence because it does not coincide with their ideas of what a woman acts, feels and moves like. This is a THEM problem and I can give you words of comfort based on experience.

The more you begin to be you, and dress in what gives you comfort the more your confidence will grow and be evident. People who are emboldened to try and change you for their own comfort tend to back way off when there is no opening for their opinions. They just sort of realize they are wasting time. AND for those that don't, there are always a few, you don't have to give them any air or acknowledgement. You get to let them waste time and energy while you look great in whatever you wish to wear and however you wish to cut your hair. And in a wonderful turn around, you don't have to spend any effort just being you or trying to defend or correct them.

You are fast approaching adulthood and with that will come even more freedom and independence. Don't rush it but also, work towards that.

#butch #lesbian #family #unwanted opinions of family

[bonny-kookoo]

Jungkook: Clingy 🔞 [Part 1]

In which Jungkook is a professional hybrid heat-partner who just wants to do his job.

Tags/Warnings: Hybrid AU, Wolf hybrid!Jungkook, Otter hybrid!Reader, Angst, strangers to ???

Additional Chapter Warnings: mentions of sex work, we're starting with slight Angst, conflicting feelings already oof

-> Masterlist

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Jungkook is someone who's learned to read a person's character simply by looking at the way their apartment looks like.

You're a little chaotic, but it seems that you do have a certain way of organizing most of your things. Despite the small size of your living space, it feels spacious enough and very much like a home, much different to his own home, he feels like. It smells nice, too - faint traces of a past dinner and clean laundry, mixed with fresh air you're letting in currently through an opened window near your small open kitchen. "I'm sorry it's so messy I- uh, didn't.. I don't know. I couldn't really clean up well-"

"It's completely fine, don't worry. It's normal in your state." He reassures calmly, letting you know that he's pretty knowledgeable in terms of hybrid heats - male as well as female, that is. It's his job, after all - and he's one of the best in his company. You've only gotten the chance to book him because there's been a small flue wave going around in the company, rendering most lower rated and 'cheaper' partners unavailable. He's basically not supposed to be here, but considering you've booked weeks ago, the company had no choice but to give you an alternative.

So instead of a fellow otter hybrid, you're going to spend it with this.. very tall and clearly-out-of-your-league-attractive wolf hybrid. Not what your personal choice would've been, but right now, the only other option would've been to cancel entirely, which would've ended in you probably being sent to hospital instead.

And no one likes to spend their heats there.

"..uuurgh still, I don't like this." You fuss around, clinging onto a round pillow as you walk around and adjust more blankets on the pull-out sofa. It's clear to him that if the circumstances hadn't changed like this, you would've never met him in the first place. He's not one to judge by monetary wealth, but its very obvious that you're not the kind of clientele he usually deals with.

First of all, you're his age, just a little younger. He typically deals with women well into their thirties at least- something that never bothered him, but also something he's never quite realized until now. He's not only a heat partner, after all- he also provides company for dinners and other activities of non-sexual nature. 'Arm-candy' like most women would call him.

Secondly, you're clearly not used to having visitors. Much less heat-partners; he's read from your paperwork given by the company to him, that you've never booked with his agency prior to a few weeks ago, and that you've put a cross into the 'Inexperienced' line of the questionnaire. It tells him two things; you're not a Virgin, which takes a little pressure off of him, but you're also not very experienced when it comes to physical intimacy.

You've answered the papers online in a way that gives him a few rough clues as to what you'll need from him. Considering you're typically using suppressants, he knows you might not respond well to an overbearing partner. At the same time, most answers lead him to the conclusion that you will, however, enjoy someone who can take control over the situation and lead you with calm and soft dominance.

Looking at you, nervously nesting on all fours with your arm still clutching the small pillow, he is almost sure that he will enjoy it this time as well.

You're cute - there's no other more fitting word to describe you with for him. Fluffy socks, hybrid tail wagging every now and then, and tiny bear-like ears between your hair moving around with no pause, making him watch you with amusement. He's done a little research on otter hybrids to prepare himself, and to say that he's gotten curious to meet you would be an understatement.

Your kind is rare in the first place - only a few hundred remaining around the world, and most of them are male, not female. Female otter hybrids prefer a mate of the same species, but male otter hybrids aren't very social and, most of the time, aggressive when it comes to physical intimacy. They don't stay with one partner, are prone to infidelity, and do not do well with kids. So most end up with a partner of a different species - and otter genes aren't very dominant, so the resulting child most likely won't gain the mother's hybrid-side.

It made him pity you a bit- the fact that you'll most likely never have a child that looks like you, or that you were willing to spend your heat with someone of the same species for comfort even though you know of the dangers and downsides of it. Maybe that's why he's made sure the company didn't change him for someone else as the alternative. Something about you got stuck in his head - an odd need to at least have someone take care of you properly once in your life because everyone deserves that.

"Its small, isn't it?" You wonder, sitting in the middle of your 'nest', eyes glimmering as you watch him walk closer, putting his bag down close to the bed. "This must be so awkward for you." You chuckle dryly, emotions all over the place due to your pre-heat.

"Absolutely not. Your home is very welcoming and inviting." He reassures, eyes careful to take note of any change in body language so as not to make you nervous. It's a habit, trained into him by now, to make sure customers will be happy with his services at the end of the day. But maybe this time, it's not just that. Something about you, your scent, your behavior.. makes him feel oddly protective, almost.

He blames his alpha-genes.

"You have to say that." You mumble more or less to yourself.

"Hm, maybe, but I mean it too." He shrugs, taking off his jacket before he puts it over his bag. His scent hits you like a wave, making you visibly shudder - something he seems to notice with a small smirk of his, amused, yet you yourself hide more or less in embarrassment. "You're very cute." He comments, and you growl, nose crinkling and tiny canines showing for a second-

Something that makes him laugh, for the first time in a while actually makes him laugh out loud, because that's the least threatening and simultaneously most adorable attempt at intimidation he's ever seen in his life. His tail wags behind him, smacking against the covers, but it makes you smile most of all, something he decides you should do all the time.

You're such a fresh change of the overpriced dinners and millionaire mansions he's been experiencing up until now.

"Okay so, I uh, don't like that position where I'm facing down, but also please don't stare because that'll make me nervous, and I have to hold something all the time because if I don't I get anxious and-" you ramble, and he puts a reassuring hand on your bare thigh, something that sends an odd feeling into his own core, your skin so fucking soft and warm underneath his fingers that he cannot help but let them move around a little bit, thumb running circles.

"I've read your questionnaire and everything. Don't worry about a thing, okay?" He tells you, and you stare for a moment, before asking.

"Are those real?" You wonder, reaching out to tap the silver balls from his piercing on his eyebrow, making him chuckle again. Your mind is clearly all over the place at this point, but he doesn't mind one bit.

Because you're honest. You don't try to impress him, or instantly use him with no hesitation nor thoughts for him.

"They're real. This one too." He explains, pulling on his lip ring for a second. Your eyes widen a bit, thoughts of what it might feel like if you'd kiss him filling your head- but that's a rule you'll have to keep in mind. That's what's been written in his limits.

His description had intimidated you quite a bit at first. Marked down as someone with 'hard dom and sadism experience' made you worry at first, especially after reading about all of his kinks, likes, and preferences. Edging, shibari, orgasm control, size kink, or other intimidating words like manhandling or primal play. Googling these terms made you delete your browsing history immediately after; pictures and videos still in the back of your head. That, combined with the fact that he's tall and athletic and so much more experienced, just filled you with nervousness, to say the least.

But his limits were something that confused you.

Kissing had been at the top of the list, right above things such as praise and pegging - the last being another thing you had needed to search up on the internet.

"Have you eaten yet?" He breaks you out of your thoughts, cheeks reddening as you realize you must've stared at him for a full on minute at least by now, but he doesn't seem to care much about it. "We might want to do that before your first wave hits." He reminds you, and you nod.

"Yeah.. I mean, No- I mean no, I've not eaten, and yes, we should do that." You stutter out, and he nods with a gentle smile. You wonder if he has a girlfriend. The description said no, but he might just not want to declare that publicly. You can't imagine someone like him being single, if you really thought about it. But then again, he could also be a total asshole if he wasn't working, which this is to him.

Work. It's his job. Get yourself together.

"I can just.. have some snack or something. No need to cook." You tell him when he walks towards your kitchen area.

"You need something proper, though. You mentioned that your longest heat was almost two weeks." He gently scolds, looking back at where you're sitting in your nest. "Nutrition is important. You'll need all the energy you can get."

It all reminds you that in maybe just a few hours, your first wave will hit. You'll be completely under his mercy, body aching to be ruined by him, and it all kind of hits you at once. He's here to have sex with you, and he's done it to many before you. His actions aren't one of kindness- they're simply customer service so to speak, no actual emotions behind them. This man is simply good at his job, good at acting the part of a good companion- but down the line, as soon as your heat ends, he will not care.

Just like everyone else.

Maybe this was a bad idea. Maybe you should've taken your suppressors. You don't even know why you took Seokjin's advice to stop using them. "Hey." He coos suddenly, sitting next to you on the nest where he looks at you with mild worry. "Can I touch you?" He wonders, and you shrug before nodding. It's not like that'll help you in any way - and neither will he hurt you. His rating would be badly affected by that. He brushes away your hair before seemingly measuring your temperature simply by feel, clicking his tongue quietly. "Already slipping, hm?" He softly states, and again, you only shrug.

Depressive thoughts and feelings can happen to females who suddenly stop the use of suppressants. Messing with hormones is never a good idea, and these medications do exactly just that - creating an imbalance if taken too often, which seems to have been the case with you. Jungkook makes a mental note to be extra careful with you in that case so as not to send you into an episode. Having you drop would be more than stressful for the both of you, and he intends to make this a good experience for you.

Not just for his ratings, but for you.

But he can also only do so much. He can't get too close, can't give you the impression that this is anything but business to him, because that would just be cruel to you. He won't present himself as anything more than what he is; someone you paid for, someone who will ease your pain during your most vulnerable time, someone who's job it is to make you feel good during all of this.

He's not someone to fall in love with. He himself knows he's tainted, dirty. His body is stained with the past touch of all of these people he's entertained, and while he doesn't see anything wrong with his work, he also knows how it's viewed by the general public. He's chosen this himself, and he's fine with it all - but someone like you who seems so kind and friendly should not think of him as a potential lover.

His love would only corrupt you.

"We can order something quick and easy. But you need to eat, okay?" He carefully tells you, watching as you just let yourself fall to your side, clinging onto the pillow in your arms until you stubbornly shake your head.

"M' not hungry." You mumble muffled into the pillow, but he won't have that, as his hand pulls it down.

"Maybe you do not feel hungry right now, but you are." He tells you with a stern gaze. "I've heard your tiny little tummy roar like a lion just a few minutes ago. You don't get to fool me." He jokingly scolds, and you pout at him defeatedly, pushing against his thigh with your socked foot - one he catches by the ankle. "Are you going to be a brat with me?" He tries, and your eyes glimmer with mischief at that. "I thought you'd be such a good girl, but look at you. I'm almost disappointed." He sighs, leading to your eyes widening as you quietly look at him with an expression he knows would melt anyone's tough intentions.

He himself knows he wouldn't be able to say no to you at any given time if you'd shoot him a glance like that.

"Maybe if you share a meal with me, I'll be happy again." He sing-songs, amused by the way you're so easily controlled by his words alone. He wonders how you'll react later on when he's going to play your body like this. He just knows you'll be so deliciously responsive to the tiniest touch - writhing underneath him, happily receiving his care. He already has to think about all the things he wants to try with you.

Will he be able to push you around a little? He'd love to dominate you with more than just his words, that's for sure. If he could, he'd even bite; mark your body up, leave his own proof that he's been allowed to be this close to you at all. You'd squeak so adorably once he'd bite your neck while taking you from behind, pushing his seed as deep as it can go, filling you up-

He snaps out of it, fingers stilling where they'd been running over the soft bare skin of your thigh, your leg laid out over his lap by now as he'd been busy in his thoughts.

Jungkook used to believe in fate. In soulmates, true love, destiny, and karma - but nowadays, he's grown up. He knows most of that is a lie. People who stay together for life are the exception and not the norm, and families break apart over the smallest of arguments. The fact that he feels himself slip even just the slightest bit from his own control means nothing. It can't mean anything.

He won't allow it to.

You'll forget about him after this. You'll be just another person's dirty little secret, something you might be talking about when you're drunk in the future playing some game with your friends- but nothing you will ever openly admit, and he's fine with that. He knows that this is his place in the world and in society in general. He's okay with that.

And yet, somewhere deep inside, he worries.

Because your scent is already stuck in his head. Your mere skin already makes him crave more. The sight of you has his muscles weak.

He blames his alpha genes again.

Because that's easier for now than possibly admitting what might actually be going on.

#bts imagine #bts fanfic #bts fic #jungkook imagine #bts jungkook #hybrid imagine #hybrid au #hybrid jungkook imagine

[spliffymae]

WRITTEN OFF.

synopsis: it’s just you and your ex husband speaking…at three in the morning…with tensions at a crazy high…you’re totally fine.

⚠️, swearing, mentions of cheating, smut, oral (m receiving), toji is a dickhead, reader experiencing body issues during pregnancy, angst with a mix of sadness.

pt.1 if y’all haven’t read it already :)

kio’s notes - guys i am so proud of this part. omfg idk what it is but i ate this shit up. also wanted to just say thank you all so much for interacting with my posts and loving my stories 🫶🏽🥹 honestly makes me so happy to know y’all love it!

now playing:

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“so my name can’t be said in your house, toji? what, am i voldemort now?”

“might as well be.” he mumbled, looking anywhere but at you. he couldn’t, not when you wore one of his old college sweaters he had forgotten at your house when you two started dating, four years ago. you ended up keeping it as a part of your wardrobe.

unfortunately, you hadn’t a clue that you were wearing something of his.

you folded your arms, leaning on your right leg. you were going to start with your attitude, you knew that for certain, and you didn’t care. “really? that’s how we’re acting? grow the hell up, toji. i’m not the one who ruined our marriage.”

“no just the one who ended it, right?”

you scoffed, “well i wonder why!” you said sarcastically. if he could play the ass then so could you. hell, you’d do it better.

toji rolled his eyes as a response. “i’m not doing whatever this is with you, (y/n). just tell me what megumi took and let me go take care of him.” he pinched the bridge of his nose with his empty hand. he was stressed, the evidence all over his face.

unbeknownst to you, he had been having the hardest time as a single father, trying to manage the complexities between todays adolescent life and the development of a baby. now add on his hefty paperwork from his missions and he was positive he could be sent to an early grave from stressing so hard. there wasn’t enough time in the day.

“i don’t know what the drug is, he—.” toji cut you off,

“the hell you mean you don’t know?” he spoke as if you should’ve known, almost judging you for not. the tone had your brow raised, now looking at him with narrow eyes. it was your way of telepathy, non-verbally telling him to ‘watch it’, because he was on paper thin ice.

“like i was saying—he got in the car and didn’t say. i didn’t even think to ask at that moment because i was just concerned with bringing him home first. it was a priority but at—.”

he cut you off again, this time with a scoff.

“just not top priority, right?”

you blinked.

you blinked again.

there was a silence between the two of you. a thick silence holding all the tension you two had created from being in the others presence.

toji had regretted the words just as they came out. he knew he messed up. he knew megumi had been your top priority when he didn’t have to be. when you were nothing more than toji’s friend who would just babysit the young boy whenever his father went out on missions.

megumi had been your first child, whether it be by blood or not. you loved him like he was, raised him, and became the parent he never knew he needed.

toji would always say it was your smile that drew him in, or say to his colleagues at work dinners it was your beauty, but truthfully—honestly, it was the way you loved his son like he was your own.

“i’m gonna give you a chance to take that back,” you spoke softly, voice slightly cracking. “because i know right now you’re just saying shit to hurt me. i love megumi, and if you wanna swing low, i promise you, toji, i will swing to hell.” you pointed. your eyes had become glossy with tears and you hated it.

megumi was a soft spot for you, always has been. whenever you and toji would get in spats in regard to him you were always on the defense for megumi. you were his advocate when there was no one else. but you were also reminded by toji (only when boiling points had been reached) that your advocacy did not need to be respected because you were not megumi’s real mom.

toji looked at his daughter, who had fallen asleep against his chest, soft and shallow breaths leaving her lips. she was your twin and he knew it was his karma. karma for his infidelity, his lying ways. he knew he shouldn’t have said anything, but he couldn’t help it.

“say it, toji. tell me i’m not his mom—do it!” you stepped closer. your eyes quickly darted to your daughter to see if your sudden volume increase had startled her awake. thankfully it didn’t.

“tell me he’s not my son, go ahead. tell me i went to every sports game, recital, and parent-teacher interview by myself because he wasn’t my son. say it, i want to hear you say, ‘(y/n), you’re not megumi’s mom. he’s not your son.”

there were tears in your eyes now, droplets falling after you’d blink. “let me remind you while you were out getting your dick wet in another bitch, i was home, pregnant and alone, with megumi who had a high ass fever. i took care of him when his own father put pussy over him. so don’t come to me about my priorities, ight?”

at the mention of his cheating, toji’s lips pressed into a thin line. he had definitely struck a nerve with his previous comment.

“i told you she meant nothing to me. i wasn’t in my right mind and—”

“and were just mad at your pregnant wife, so you decided to cheat on her. that would show me, huh toji?”

how many times was he going to have to apologize for what he did?

for doing the one thing he swore to not do?

he opened his mouth to speak. what he was going to say was what he didn’t quite know just yet. he wasn’t sure if he wanted to defend himself or just fight back. what was even the point of fighting back? everything you were saying was true.

rin had fussed from under him, her little whines being a reminder to her parents she was still present.

“i—” toji began but you cut him off by raising your hand up,

“shut up and feed my child. i’m going to go check on my son.” you didn’t wait for response from him as you turned to head upstairs, stomping away to let out some anger.

you left toji to realize he was in fact about to feed rin before arguing with you. and he cursed himself for forgetting what he originally came downstairs to do.

“shit.” he muttered as he went to the couch. he took her out the carrier and sat down with her. thankfully her bottle hadn’t spoiled and was still warm. damn you for being aware of your daughters needs.

“sorry, rinny. got distracted.” he kissed her forehead as he put the bottle to her lips. there was that feeling he felt in the kitchen again, that guilt. he hated it.

it was like someone took a fire to the inside of his stomach. it was hot, burning even. he was uncomfortable whenever it came because it was a feeling he couldn’t suppress.

he felt ever since that night, and it only ever grew as the days progressed.

toji had come home later than he told you, he had to stop to bring home food for you and megumi, as well as shower to rid himself of the smell of sex.

he didn’t mean to do it, honestly. he was just mad and needy. you hadn’t been giving him the attention he wanted from you. you wouldn’t let him touch you or even kiss you anywhere that wasn’t on your face. he needed the intimacy, and you only wanted privacy.

you claimed it was because you felt gross. you tried to explain to your husband how the pregnancy was affecting your mental state, mostly how you viewed your body. you already had body issues prior to being pregnant, but now, at your six month mark, you felt like you didn’t know who was staring back at you in the mirror.

but toji couldn’t understand. he kept trying to tell you how pretty you were to him, how beautiful you were all big with his baby, but you would never really take in his words. you just shrugged them and his reassuring kisses off with a fake smile and a quiet “thanks.”

you were supposed to go with him to this big work dinner. you had promised him you’d go and be his pretty little wife months ago. smile big in front of potential clients, mention your husband’s various accolades, basically put toji on a pedestal so they would choose him.

but when the night came, you weren’t feeling up for the event. toji of course wasn’t pleased as he had been telling you about this dinner for months. he tried to convince you to come but like previous disputes you two have had, it ended in yelling and arguments.

you yelled at him for his apathy; not understanding just how tired you were from carrying his baby, working during the pregnancy, and being the present parent for megumi in terms of school while toji went on his missions.

he yelled at you for not giving him the attention he deserves as your husband. for not being there for him when he needed you. honestly he knew it was dumb to have this argument. he should’ve just kissed you and agreed to let you stay home. but his stupid pride got in the way.

so he ended up going alone, dressed in his fancy suit and shoes, silver audemars piguet watch on his wrist and cuff links to match. he walked into the banquet hall and decided he would do it all himself—like he always did.

that’s when he stumbled into her, shoko ieri. she had complimented him on the way he flipped one of the biggest and most stubborn drug lords in the city to hire him for a hit job. she offered to buy him a celebratory drink, whiskey—since she was drinking it too.

it happened fast, at least to toji. the way they went from a playful banter by the bar to sitting next to each other at one of the tables. she had been a guest of his colleague, satorou gojo. she was a doctor for men in his line of work.

“so if i get injured on the job…” toji remembers starting, leaning back in the chair and putting his arm around the back of shoko’s. he had a smirk on his face as he manspread in his seat.

“then just stop by mine and i’ll make it all better.” she patted his cheek, eyes twinkling in mischief.

she ordered another round of whiskey for the two of them. the more he drank, the more you and megumi slipped from his mind. the more he ignored the gnawing sound in the back of his head. the one that kept telling him to stop.

another round of whiskey lowers the volume of his conscience. he can hear shoko better as she tells him about an impromptu surgery she performed on toji’s other colleague—and the godfather to your daughter, suguru geto. she touches toji’s bicep every now and again, as the story reaches turning points and it’s climax. the noise in his head comes back once she finishes the story, reminding him that you are waiting for him at home.

“but i don’t want to talk about me. i want to hear about the one and only toji fushiguro,” she leans in to him and his heart swells.

another round of whiskey. the noise has been minimized to a hum toji now hears every now and again as he tells her about an operation gone wrong in nagasaki. the conversation takes a flirtatious turn when shoko’s hand flies to his knee in a somber stroke, mumbling about how tired toji must’ve been after. his ego bursts.

another round of whiskey and toji does not recall there ever being a noise in his head. it’s quiet now, with only the sound of the jazz band and shoko having his attention. her hand remains on his knee, cherry red nails scraping against his thigh as it inches higher. toji makes a comment about switching to water for the night but shoko reminds him that just like the night they are both young.

another round of whiskey. toji’s hand is squeezing shoko’s thigh, his fingers grazing higher to places he yearns to explore. her lips now the colour plum, stained from the red wine she was nursing in between shots.

“there’s a hotel above us, y’know.” her eyes were piercing into his own. lips in a smirk and cheeks red from being flustered.

“so why are we still sitting here?” toji asked, lifting a brow. shoko smiled and unlocked her phone, passed it to him with the contact page open.

“add yourself. then wait for ten minutes.” she had a confidence about her that toji found captivating. so he did as she said, tapping his thumbs against her screen and filling out the information. when he gave her back the phone, she smiled and stood up, sauntering away.

his dick was hard. he was leaning back in the chair, wiping a hand down his face to calm himself down.

in the moments he spent to himself, the noise he had long forgotten slowly made its way back to max volume. he signaled to the waitress for another round.

the glasses of alcohol were brought in front of him, two tall shot glasses. he took them down without a thought, the liquid burning his throat.

his phone vibrated on his lap,

unknown

room 615.

it happened in slow motion, at least to toji. the way his fist knocked against the door of the hotel room and shoko answered with a smirk before pulling him in by his belt. then things started to pick up.

the way he cupped her face and kissed her hungrily. his anger from earlier and passion from the lust he felt were put into the kiss, the sounds of their lips smacking and shoko moaning ringing in his ears.

she broke away to flash a wicked smile before she bent down in her heels, becoming eye level with his crotch. she began pawing at the bulge in his pants, emitting a groan from him. his hand grabbed at her hair, chestnut coloured tresses bunched up in his fist and a gruff “suck it” leaving his lips.

his dick was hard and it was leaking for her. the way she sucked on his reddened tip had his eyes fluttering closed. she opened her mouth wide and took him until her nose was brushing against his freshly trimmed pubic hairs.

those same nails that had his leg jumping traced his prominent v-line. toji was seeing stars as she began to bob her head. he hadn’t gotten head in so long, months probably. her throat was so tight, so warm.

does it help if he said he thought of you during it, the cheating?

when he had her back arched over the bathroom sink and stared at her fucked out expression through the mirror, he saw you for a minute. he blamed the alcohol, of course.

would it make you feel better if he said he used condoms?

he didn’t want to bring anything back to you. and after that night, he got tested sometime that week to make sure everything was okay. it was, and he let out a sigh of relief.

can knowing he felt like absolute shit once he finished bring you solace?

when she had come for the third and final time in the bed, he gave her a kiss to the forehead as she fell to sleep. he walked bear to the shower and at the sight of himself in the mirror he wanted to throw up.

he came home just after midnight to find you were sitting outside megumi’s door with a blanket over your body and head resting back against the wall.

“love,” toji crouched down and shook you softly. you should have been in bed. “(y/n), wake up.”

you stirred, but eventually your eyes opened to see your husband, with a curious look on his face. “you’re on the floor.”

“why didn’t you answer your phone?” was the first thing you asked him. you didn’t say hi, you didn’t ask how the night was—you got straight to it.

toji pulled his phone out from his pants pocket and turned off his do not disturb to see he had five missed calls and ten texts from you.

“i put it on do not disturb so i could focus on the clients, m’sorry baby. what happened, are you okay?” he quickly scrolled through the messages:

wifey👩🏽‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏻💍

you seriously are going to throw a fit bc i’m pregnant and tired?

wifey👩🏽‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏻💍

fine fuck you then

wifey👩🏽‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏻💍

ok not fuck you fuck you. fuck you for now

wifey👩🏽‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏻💍

megs is sick and his head is burning. is your dinner close to finishing?

wifey👩🏽‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏻💍

toji i get we are beefing atm but our son is sick and i need your help

wifey👩🏽‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏻💍

he just told me to leave him alone bc he doesn’t want to get me sick and possibly harm the baby. i told him that won’t happen but he won’t listen to me. toji pls call him

wifey👩🏽‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏻💍

bro can you not be on your petty shit for a hot minute and just answer me?! i don’t know what to do he has chills now! holy fuck

wifey👩🏽‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏻💍

toji !

wifey👩🏽‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏻💍

update: it’s been an hr, idk what tf you got goin on but megs is still sick. i made him soup and he had a little before throwing up. i gave him some medicine and cold towel for his head but there’s no change. idek why i’m texting this shit to you 🙄

wifey👩🏽‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏻💍

if i lock your ass out pls know it was justified.

toji looked at you with apologetic eyes. you were mad, rightfully so. you had expressed to him how uncomfortable you had been lately, with your body in more pain then before. standing up for long was difficult, he knew this. he had heard the doctor tell you not to over exert yourself and take it easy on your body.

“started to think you wouldn’t be coming home.” you pushed the blanket off of you, dressed in one of his tee shirts and a pair of your pajama pants, your cornrows tucked away under your hair scarf.

you struggled to get up on your own, your max weight now being shifted to your front and creating an imbalance. but you did it with a huff, toji standing tall now and watching. he had offered to help but you slapped his hand away.

“(y/n)—.”

“shut the fuck up. i’m going to bed and you’re on the couch.” you pushed the blanket into his chest. he was still slightly drunk so he stumbled back a bit, but caught himself.

toji didn’t have any more time to dwell on his past actions. or to recall the night you found out, because you had come back downstairs. “megs’ still high, but he says it’s better than how he was before. he said he and his friends took a pill—probably molly. i ordered him some food to eat so hopefully it comes down fast. rin doing okay?” you stood at the bottom of the stairs, leaning against the banister.

in front of you was toji’s back as he held rin, who was fast asleep in a formula coma. the bottle was empty and she was content, snoring away in her fathers arms.

“she’s fine now.” he mumbled but you heard. and with a nod, you walked to the door to put your shoes back on.

“great, i’ll be on my way. listen out for his food. kiss rin f’me.”

toji heard you unlock the door, and heard the sound of it opening. before you walked out though, he called out to you.

“yes?”

“was there any part of you that would’ve taken me back….after everything?” he turned his head so he could see you in his peripheral. he wasn’t going to look at you as you said it, he couldn’t.

he doesn’t think you understand how hard it’s been to look at you since that night.

you blew air out your mouth, cheeks puffed and eyebrows raised. you hadn’t expected for this to be the question he asks you as you get ready to leave. not at damn near five in the morning.

but might as well, right?

“honestly, yeah. i would always have these random moments where i would feel like i needed you again, in my life or in my bed…but then i would remember that you cheated on me when i was pregnant, and when i was in the darkest period of my pregnancy, at that.”

the emotions were still raw for you, the betrayal and the pain. it was a feeling that felt almost close to that of stabbing. a piercing blade through your heart that turned deeper into the organ anytime you’d think about it.

“i, uh, remember how i stayed up crying for months after because i just knew that whoever that woman was, she must’ve been the definition of gorgeous—because you used to tell me there was not a being alive who could outshine my beauty. and i believed you.”

“i didn’t lie” toji said. his voice was shaky and he honestly didn’t know why he asked you such a question. it was obvious there was no sign of reconciliation between you two. but yet he asked anyways, hoping some higher being somewhere would give him back his family. he didn’t appreciate it at first, but he’s learned now.

you chuckled dryly, “no, you were just proven wrong. goodnight, toji.” you quickly left after that, not wanting to wait around for anything he had to say.

as far as you were concerned, that was the end. it was over.

pt. 3

#Spotify #🌞🍃spliffymae #jjk⋞〈⏣》⋟ #toji fushiguro x black reader #toji x reader #baby daddy toji #toji zenin #toji smut #anime x black!reader #jjk #jjk x black reader #cheating #angst

[forever-rogue]

how about tasm!peter helping reader overcome anxiety, but she has a hard time expressing herself to others, even about anxiety. but peter wants to help comfort her no matter what 🤍 don't need to write this if you don't want lol

AN | Okay, this got away from me, but I think it’s so cute! There’s also a first kiss🥰❤️

Pairing | tasm!Peter Parker x Fem!Reader

Warnings | Language

Word Count | 3.9k

Masterlist | Main | Peter

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Peter Parker was pretty. Really fucking pretty. 

That was one of the first things you’d noticed about him freshman year in your early morning biochem class. You learned, later on, that he was also incredibly kind, charming, and ridiculously smart. Like genius level smart. You knew he liked photography, which happened to be a hobby of your own. You wanted to be his friend; you’d thought many times about going up and speaking to him, but always talked yourself out of it.

Why would Peter Parker want to be your friend?

Instead you admired from afar, from a safe distance. But once you both graduated from ESU and went on to getting advanced degrees, you were sure that you’d never see him again. After all, New York was a huge city, and the odds that your lives would be intertwined enough to run into each other on a regular basis seemed slim to none. 

So - imagine your surprise when you started working as a research scientist at Biotech a few years and another degree later and you found that Peter Parker was starting at the same time as you. You’d done so well to keep your distance, to keep your feelings in check by being a silent admirer. But now, not only would you be seeing him every day…you’d be working closely with him in a lab all by yourself. 

You had no clue how you were going to survive, and part of you was tempted to quit and look for a different job, but you’d worked so long and so hard for this position that you weren’t going to just give it up. You were just going to have to suck it up. 

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

And it worked, surprisingly. Peter was nothing if not polite and kind, and honestly he was a dream to work with. The two of you had a certain synchronicity that just was hard to put into words, but you complimented perfectly. Despite your initial fear, working in a lab with Peter went well. The worst part was that it made it all the more easy to fall for him. But you doubted he would ever see you as anything other than the girl at work. 

“Hey,” Peter softly interrupted your silent prayer to release any feelings for him with a soft smile. It was getting later into the evening and you were both getting ready to leave for the weekend. You flashed him a smile in response but slipped on your coat, “I was wondering…umm, do you want to grab a bite to eat?”

No way. No freaking way was Peter Parker asking you to get dinner. Right? Right?

“I-I’m sorry,” you blinked a few times and looked at him with wide eyes. His cheeks flushed a pretty pastel shade of pink as he nervously ran a hand through his hair, “what did you say?”

“I was wondering if you wanted to get some dinner,” he repeated softly, shrugging one of his shoulders lightly, “you don’t have to if you don’t want to, of course. I just thought it might be nice to spend some time outside of work together.”

“You want to spend time with me?” your eyebrows shot up in surprise. You needed to make an appointment to get your ears checked. Peter would never want to be with you outside of work. Or, if anything, he might have been so lonely that he welcomed anyone’s company, “me?”

“Yes you,” he laughed softly and it was a sound you’d memorized over the years but still made your knees weak. He took a step closer and bit his lip for a moment, “let me clarify so we’re both on the same page - I, Peter Parker, am asking you, you, if you’d like to go out and dinner.”

“Oh,” every dream you’d ever had of Peter seemed to be coming true then and there. Peter liked you, Peter wanted to spend time with you; maybe you’d never been invisible to him after all. But no. You couldn’t…you just couldn’t. You were sure if anything he’d spend about ten minutes with you alone and he’d grow bored of you and make some excuse to leave. The idea that Peter would end up being bored of you was enough to make you never want to speak again, “umm…Peter, t-that’s really nice of you to ask. But I just…can’t. I’m sorry.”

“Oh,” it was laced with disappointment and you could see his face falling. You were pretty sure you’d just made things so much worse than if you’d just agreed on going, “no worries! I just thought I’d ask, it’s no big deal - maybe next time…well, enjoy your weekend.”

“You too, Peter,” you watched as he grabbed his bag and left, pausing at the door to turn around and give you a small wave. You returned and remained rooted in place, regret clouding your mind. If you hadn’t had such bad anxiety, you would have said yes. But the fear of messing everything up had been worse. You sighed at yourself, “pathetic.”

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

There was something quite lovely about New York in the middle of the night. The city never quite deadened, but there was a lull to life that made everything feel so much calmer than normal. That, combined with the insomnia you struggled with from time to time, was enough of a reason for you to venture outside. You grabbed your camera and slowly climbed out of your window and onto the fire escape, slowly making your way the several floors up to the rooftop. When you got there, you set out a long exhale of relief as you looked around the space and found the big blanket you stashed up here for times like this. 

It was chilly out, but it was exhilarating and made you feel more alive than you had all day. You walked around the rooftop and looked out into the city, trying to find anything worthy of your attention. After scouring for a few minutes, you found a gathering on one of the nearby streets and decided to capture it. You framed the shot, but before you could even press the shutter, you heard something loud fall next to you, accompanied by a small oof. 

You dropped the camera which was luckily around a strap on your neck and turned towards the commotion. To your surprise and shock you found Spider-Man looking right back at you. You gasped, hands covered your face as you looked at the man in the blue and red spandex suit, “Spider-Man?”

“Hi,” he cheerily waved before putting his hands on his hips and cocking his head to the side, “what’re you doing up here? It’s freezing - and it’s late.”

“What are you doing on my roof?” you asked with just as much surprise. You’d seen him on the news, read about him on the internet, but you’d never seen him in the flesh before, “you’re shorter than I expected.”

He playfully groaned and you were sure that he’d rolled his eyes under that mask, “first of all, I’m patrolling, and I happened to be swinging by. Secondly - I’m above average height, thank you very much!”

“Well, I don’t know, I expected you to be like…6’5 or something,” you shrugged, stifling a laugh at his distress, “aren’t you a superhero and all?”

“I am still a person-”

“With spider-like abilities,” you found yourself grinning in spite of the initial nerves, “so I dunno, I figured you might be tall. The news does you justice I guess.”

“Yeah well…fine,” he huffed lightly as you laughed at him. You could have sworn that he sounded so familiar and you couldn’t quite place it. Part of you was sure that he sounded like Peter, but there was no way that your crush of eight plus years and lab partner was Spider-Man, “but seriously, what are you doing up here?”

“I…I couldn’t sleep,” you found it incredibly easy to talk to him, nerves and anxiety the last thing on your mind. Maybe it was the fact that you couldn’t see his face, or the fact that you had no clue who he was, “I go outside when I can’t sleep…it helps sometimes.”

“It’s dangerous,” he reminded you and you shrugged lightly, “you shouldn’t be out alone at night in this city.”

“Well I don’t exactly have someone that’s just available to come out with me at three in morning when I’m dealing with insomnia,” if you didn’t know any better you were sure that he sounded concerned, “it’s not the first time I’ve done this. I’ll be okay.”

“You have someone now,” he insisted and your mouth opened in surprise. When he saw the visible confusion on your face he pointed at himself, “that way I know you’ll be safe.”

“There’s only one problem with that.”

“Which is…?”

“How am I supposed to just call you if I need you?” you asked softly and he chuckled warmly as if there was some sort of inside joke between the two of you, “I don’t think there’s some sort of Spidey Signal or something.”

“I’ll be here,” he promised, “I’ll know.”

“Sure,” you liked the sound of it but you highly doubted he would just show up when you needed him. He had a whole city that he kept safe, and you were just one unimportant, small person among millions, “thanks for the concern.”

“I care about you, you know,” he said it like it was something of some personal thing to him. He must have caught his mistake because he quickly cleared his throat and added, “I care about everyone in New York.”

“Of course you do, you’re Spider-Man,” you gave him a small smile and decided that perhaps it was time for you to go. You were about to turn around and head for the fire escape when he stopped you.

“You have a camera,” you looked down before looking back at him and nodding softly, “you’re a photographer?”

“Amateur,” you confessed with a shy smile, “scientist by day, amateur photographer by night. It’s just a hobby, but it’s stuck with me through the years.”

“Wow,” you could tell that he sounded genuinely impressed. Peter, of course, knew you were a scientist, but he had no idea that you’d shared the same hobby too. It made his heart melt a little more, “that’s really cool.”

“Not as cool as being Spider-Man,” you insisted softly as he made a small sound, “I guess I better get going. And let you get back to work…or whatever you call it.”

“I’d love to see some of your work sometime,” the small that worked its way onto your face was breathtaking and made his knees weak, “if that’s okay.”

“Yeah,” you nodded with your face warm despite the chill of the late fall air, “definitely. Well…I guess I’ll see you around Spidey.”

“See you around, smart girl,” if he’d had the mask off, you’d have seen the giant, dopey grin on Peter’s face. But he was gone, swinging back into the evening as you stood there and stared after him.

You were pretty sure you had just  befriended Spider-Man. Holy fuck.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

You really hadn’t expected to see him ever again. But on your next little, a late night walk through the streets of Queens, he made another appearance. He swung over and gracefully landed next to you, easily catching up to your stride. You couldn’t deny that you were elated to have him there. There was something easy about talking to him, about giving bits and pieces of yourself to him, and taking what he gave back. He was always careful not to give too much away, not to reveal too much of his real identity, but you felt like you were getting to know him. And you really liked him. You spend weeks upon weeks of your evenings with Spider-Man, growing closer than you’d have thought possible to the masked man.

On the other hand, it felt like your relationship with Peter was slowly slipping away. After that first night when you’d turned him down, you created a bit of a divide between the two of you. It wasn’t for lack of wanting to be his friend or even more, it was just that you didn’t trust yourself around him. He made was Peter fucking Parker and you were just…nobody. He never made you feel that way, but that’s just what you had ingrained in your mind. And, to your dismay, Peter slowly pulled back as well, which you took as rejection, when in reality it was him not wanting to make you uncomfortable. Either way, you wished you could go back in time and just say yes to him. 

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Spider-Man seemed to notice your glum mood the next time he saw you. You hadn’t even gone out to the roof or for a walk, but he’d made an appearance at your bedroom window, gently tapping on the glass once he’d spied you sitting at your desk, typing away. When you heard the noise, you turned around and your face morphed into a look of surprise and then happiness. You rushed over to open the window and let him.

“How did you know which window was mine?” you asked softly as he took your outstretched hand and stepped into the room. He set his hands on his hips and looked around your room, taking it all in; your face flushed with warmth as he realized he was getting a glimpse into your most intimate space. 

“I’m Spider-Man,” he said as though that explained everything, “I was in the neighborhood and wanted to see you.”

“You wanted to see me?” your face softened and he nodded. 

“Can I sit?” he pointed at your bed and you nodded eagerly before plopping back down into your cushy desk chair, “I like your room. ‘s cute.”

“I…I never thought Spider-Man would be in my bedroom, I might have decorated a little more,” you joked and he laughed lightly, but he could see that your smile didn’t quite reach your eyes. He paused for a moment and you could feel that he was studying you, trying to pull you apart, “what?”

“You seem upset,” he whispered, leaning towards and holding out his hand. He hesitated for a moment, trying to make sure that he didn’t cross any of your boundaries, but when he noticed that you almost leaned, put his hand on the side of your face and gently stroked your cheek, “what’s wrong, my smart girl?”

My smart girl. He had a tendency to call you; you secretly loved it more than you cared to admit. 

“It’s nothing.” you insisted, biting the inside of your cheek in order to keep the tears from welling up. You put your hand on his forearm and gave it a gentle squeeze. When he made a small sound of concern in his throat, you couldn’t back the tears. A few pearled up and rolled down your cheeks, “it’s my own fault, it’s so stupid. Really, i-it’s fine.”

“It’s making you upset,” you could practically hear the frown in his voice as he used his thumb to wipe away your tears, “it’s not stupid if it’s making you upset. You don’t have to tell me…but I am here for you if you want to tell me. You can tell me anything.”

“It’s just…my friend,” you sighed lightly and pulled back, curling into yourself, “I think he’s my friend, anyway. I feel like I kept pushing him away and now I don’t think he wants to be my friend anymore. I don’t think he wants anything to do with me. We work together, and he almost never talks to me anymore unless it is about work.”

Peter’s breath hitched in his throat as he realized you were talking about him. He felt himself getting choked up as well, “what makes you think that?”

“I feel so dumb,” you shook your head, “it’s just that…I think I like him. I mean I do like him, a-as more than a friend. I’ve had a crush on Peter for a long time. Like eight years, but I’ve always thought I was invisible to him. But he just…he knows all these things about me, and it’s like…it feels like he’s always seen me, you know?”

“Why did you push him away?” Peter’s heart was beating so fast and hard he was surprised you couldn’t hear it, and even more surprised it didn’t just burst through his chest, “what happened?”

“He asked me if I wanted to have dinner with him,” you confessed as if he didn’t know all of this, “and I thought it was just as friends at first but I think he might have meant more…he seemed so upset when I said no. It made me sad to see him like that. I didn’t mean to hurt him or upset him, I just…I got so in my head and let my anxiety get the best of me. So I just said no.” 

“Did you want to say no?” he asked softly as you looked up and met his gaze through the white eyes of the mask. It just felt like he knew you, and that you knew him. There had always been that very familiar air about him, but you’d never been able to quite place why.

“No,” you admitted with a small, bitter little laugh, “I wanted to say yes. I want to spend more time with him and…I really do like him. But I’m afraid he’s going to get to know me more and think I’m boring or lame, or he just won’t like me. I have really bad anxiety and it really gets to me.”

“I’d never be able to guess,” he confessed and you gave him a small smile.

“It’s different with you,” you admitted shyly, “I feel comfortable around you, andI always have. I don't know why, but it’s true. That’s how I feel with Peter too, except that one time I clammed up so much and ruined everything.”

“I’m sure you didn’t ruin anything,” he insisted softly, and you couldn’t help but laugh lightly, “what’s so funny?”

“I don’t have as much confidence,” you shrugged, “how are you so sure? You don’t know Peter, you didn’t see the look on face when I said no. I…I never want to see that look on his face again. It made me so sad.”

Peter was internally debating on what to do. He could either tell you that it was him and risk the chance that you’d hate him forever for not telling you for so long and getting all of this out of you. Or he could continue on as Spider-Man and never tell you that it was. Or he could tell you tomorrow at work…as Peter. There were risks and benefits from each scenario. All he knew was that he couldn’t lose you; that would be too much.

“You know, Spidey, you remind me of Peter in some ways,” you whispered shyly and his heart plummeted into his stomach, “you sound like him. And you like a lot of the same things and I dunno…I feel the same way around you as I do around him. That’s never really happened with anyone before.”

“Listen-”

“It’s almost like….” you stopped yourself, worrying your bottom lip between your teeth as you shook your head, “it’s silly. So stupid, really.”

“Tell me,” he asked softly, “please.”

You inhaled softly, your heart pitter-pattering wildly in your chest. It was your turn to hold up your hand and reach over, ghosting your fingertips along his jaw. He leaned into your touch ever so slightly and you could feel the warmth of his skin even under the mask. You closed your eyes for a moment before exhaling shakily, “Peter?”

He paused for a moment before taking your hand and guiding it to the back of your neck where you felt the zip of the mask. You undid it softly, slowly, and when he sensed your hesitation, he helped you and slowly pulled off the mask, revealing himself to you. 

You gasped lightly when you found Peter Parker’s glittering honeyed eyes looking back at you nervously. You couldn’t help the nervous laugh that bubbled up, and he visibly relaxed when you didn’t get angry. He held up his hand nervously, “hi.”

“This whole time,” you felt your face warm up when you realized that you had basically confessed your feelings to him, “I knew you seemed familiar, Spidey. I should've known that it was you. I’ve never felt the way I do about you with anyone else. When it happened with Spider-Man, I didn’t think anything of it. But it was you this whole time.”

“I didn’t know if I should tell you,” he whispered, “but I wanted you to know. And I never meant to make you feel like I was pushing you away. I just didn’t want you to feel uncomfortable….when I had asked you out and you said no, I thought maybe you didn’t feel the same way, so I thought it’d be best to back off.”

“It wasn’t you,” you promised, “it never was. It was me. Peter, I meant what I said, I’ve had a crush on you since that first day in biochem. I wanted to be your friend for so long, but just could never bring myself to say anything. I thought maybe I could use the photography thing since that’s something we both like but it just never seemed like a good time. And when we started working together…it was nerve-wracking and wonderful. And when you asked me for dinner, I panicked and thought I would surely ruin everything, so I took the possibility of failure away by saying no and making it impossible.”

“Ever the logical scientist,” he smiled softly, “my smart girl. But so you know, you could never have ruined anything. Do you want to know a secret?”

“Yes.”

“I’ve liked you too,” he admitted and your heart felt like it was going to burst, “since that first day in biochem. But you’ve always been way out of my league, so I never said anything.”

“No way!”

“Way,” the look on your face was both pretty and priceless and he was dying to finally kiss you, “now you know all my secrets.”

“Do you want to know one of mine, Peter Parker?”

“Yes.”

“I thought about what it would be like to kiss you so many times,” you whispered so softly that he was sure he wouldn’t have been able to hear you without his heightened senses, “I’d really like to kiss you now.”

Peter’s eyes lit up and you both leaned in, his lips inches away from yours. After a moment of hesitation, he finally kissed you, soft and sweet. He pulled back much sooner than you would have wished, his eyes searching yours as if to make sure it was alright. Your beaming face told him it was more than alright. 

“Was that okay?” he sounded so nervous it was almost too precious.

“I think so,” you teased lightly, “but I am a scientist and need more data to form a proper conclusion.”

“As a fellow scientist, I’m more than happy to provide all the data you could need,” he was grinning from ear to ear, “if you want that is…”

“Yes, Peter Parker,” you kissed him softly, “I would love that.”

#tasm!peter parker #tasm!peter parker x you #tasm!peter parker x reader #tasm!peter parker x fem!reader #tasm!peter #tasm!peter one shot #tasm!peter imagine #peter parker #peter parker x you #peter parker x reader #peter parker x fem!reader #peter parker imagine #peter parker one shot #andrew garfield #andrew garfield x you #andrew garfield x reader

[jadedrrose]

An Uncertain Beginning - Part One

A week of suspicious moments leads you to come to a terrifying conclusion. But how will you tell Law?

Part Two

Warnings: spoiler, this is a parenthood au lol. Fem reader bc… yeah. Angst with a somewhat happy ending

The idea had played around in your mind for a few days -maybe even closer to a week- now, and with every new day that passed, you grew more and more uneasy, yet certain about what was happening. You just weren't certain how you felt about it.

The first hint happened maybe a week ago now. 

Grilled fish was one of Law’s favorite things to eat. You've known this for ages, not once did you really care whether you liked it or not. Until then… 

You hadn’t really had an appetite that day, so you skipped out on dinner. Staying back in your bedroom, you’d tried napping while everyone else ate together that evening. But you woke up feeling dehydrated, so you sluggishly got out of bed and headed to the kitchen on the submarine.

But it reeked of fish. The smell was overwhelming and instantly made you feel nauseous. But why? You’d never reacted to the smell of it like this before. 

And of course, your husband noticed your discomfort. “Y/n-ya,” he’d called you, “why do you look so pale?” 

“I look pale..?” You threw your left hand over your mouth, covering it as you coughed as though you were about to throw up.

Law rose up from his seat at the table, leaving the others who’d joined him for dinner watching the scene unfold. 

“You’re clearly sick. You need to get back to bed,” he stated, taking you and gently guiding you out of the kitchen. 

After getting you back in bed, Law briefly left to get you some water. He let you have a couple small sips before placing it on the nightstand by your side of the bed. 

“I have to help clean up the dinner mess,” he told you, brushing your hair away from your face with his tattooed fingers. “I’ll come right back.”

You nodded, and when Law leaned down to kiss you… 

“N-no!” You turned your head away, gagging again. 

“What? I can’t kiss you just because you’re sick?”

“You smell like fish,” you coughed out. 

Law hummed as though he found your response quite interesting. “Fine then,” he took your hand and kissed it instead. “I’ll be back.”

That was the first warning.

—

The next sign happened only three days later. After deciding you weren’t sick anymore (if you even had been sick..), you decided to hang out in the lounge area on board. 

Your crewmates went in and out of it all day, many asking if you felt better. You’d told them yes; because as far as you knew, you weren’t sick.

Then Law had joined you, with Bepo in tow. Along with some books.

“Ikkaku said you’ve been in here all day,” Law told you. “Bepo wanted to keep you company… and asked me to join.”

“Captain, that’s not-“ Bepo tried correcting Law.

“Shush.”

You giggled at the slight blush rising to your husband’s cheeks. “Law. We’ve been married for a year. You can just say you wanted to see me,” you teased.

Law didn’t respond to that. Instead, he sat down beside you and began reading his book.

Bepo laid on the floor in front of you, opening up what appeared to be a children’s book. Moments passed of the three of you simply hanging out in silence. Until Bepo gasped.

“What’s the matter?” You asked in response to the sudden noise.

“Y/n! Look at how cute this is,” the bear practically shoved the book into your hands. 

Looking down at it, you saw a cute illustration of a cartoon kitten. Why Bepo was reading a book about kittens, you had no clue. But… you also had no clue why you found yourself tearing up.

“Oh, wow,” you mumbled, trying to suppress your sudden emotion. What the hell was going on with you today?

Law finally noticed when you’d sniffled. “Y/n-ya, are you crying?”

You shook your head even though you clearly were. “It’s just… so cute,” you choked out.

“Captain! I think somethings wrong with y/n,” Bepo worriedly stated.

“Yeah… y/n, are you tired? Maybe we should just head to bed early…” Law seemed more confused than anything. 

Yeah. That must be it, you were simply tired. So you nodded, standing up to follow Law back down to your shared bedroom. 

—

A few more days had passed, with the same symptoms. This was the first time the idea had popped into your mind, though.

You’d thrown up starting that morning, and it continued throughout the day. 

Law didn’t even know. He always woke up earlier than you did, going to work on medical things and his usual duties as captain. So you hadn’t seen him at all that day. 

You stayed locked away in the bedroom, only moving between your bed and the bathroom. As you sat up in bed, reading a very interesting mystery book to try and distract yourself, it occurred to you.

Am I… pregnant?

But you denied the thought. You couldn’t just jump to conclusions. Maybe you were just sick. It’s not like viruses like this were uncommon, you could’ve picked it up anywhere.

…but what about your extreme emotions?

Just about everything was causing you to burst into tears lately. Every time Law would display his affection toward you, you would cry from how much you loved him. When you’d wake up to his side of the bed cold and empty, you would start sobbing and missing him like you’d never see him again. Among many other things that seemed to trigger your tears. 

You didn’t know what to think, let alone do about this sudden realization.

—

For whatever reason, your crew had been invited to some party being held by the Strawhats. Law’s initial answer was absolutely not, but you reminded him that Nami and Robin were two very good friends of yours, and that you’d like to see them. So he gave in. 

When first arriving, you all hung out on the Thousand Sunny’s deck. Sanji had prepared plenty of food that was all displayed on a table. Brook played music for everyone. Zoro reluctantly shared some of his alcohol collection. Everything was going just fine, so far…

Law remained close to you, not finding any interest in talking to anyone else. Robin was probably the only person he’d willingly talk to here, but she was occupied with talking to you and Nami.

And after just spending a few moments with the girls, you knew that they suspected something was up with you. So they suggested heading into the girl’s quarters for some girl talk. You felt bad leaving Law behind, but also… you really needed another woman’s perspective on your situation. And the opportunity was presenting itself.

Once locked away in their room, Nami placed some cushions for the three of you on the floor. You took a spot, crossing your legs and letting out a sigh.

“You seem stressed, y/n,” Robin observed. 

“Yeah? I guess I am,” you replied.

“Hmm. I’ve got an idea.”

The dark haired woman stood up and left the room for a very brief moment, returning with three glasses and a bottle of wine.

Robin poured a glass for Nami, “ah! Good thinking Robin,” she said just before taking a sip of the drink.

Then Robin poured another glass, and just before she could pour the wine into the third one…

“N-no! I uh… can’t drink,” you declined.

“Can’t or just don’t want to?” Nami asked with a sly little smirk on her lips. 

“Uh,” you weren’t sure what the correct answer was. 

“Oh, I think I have an idea of what's going on,” Robin chimed in. “Y/n was acting quite nervous earlier.”

“I was?” You tried playing dumb. You were going to confide in your friends… but now you were scared.

“Now that I think about it, you’re right, Robin!” Nami put her fingers to her chin as she thought something over. She then looked back at you, still not taking the third glass of wine. A small gasp left her lips, “Don’t tell me…”

—

Law just didn’t do parties. He was naturally an introvert and didn’t want to be around so many people, especially… annoying people. He’d much rather be back on the Polar Tang, laying in bed with you.

And since you weren’t around, Law simply didn’t know what to do. He figured his safest option was to just go sit away from everyone and wait for you to return to him.

There was a barrel not too far away from the door that led to the girl’s quarters. So he’d decided to sit on it and eat some of the onigiri he’d snatched from the food table.

Law was a good husband, and he’d never even think about invading your privacy. He’d also never eavesdrop on purpose. From where he’d sat down, Law figured that the music and noise of everyone shouting over each other would drown out everything else and it all would become white noise to him, so that he could simply tune out everybody and everything.

But then he heard you, Nami and Robin talking. Unintentionally.

Your voices were pretty muffled, so Law couldn’t tell exactly what the three of you were saying. But it didn’t matter anyway, he’d just ignore it. That’s what he’d tried doing… but then something that was impossible to ignore was said through the wooden walls.

“Now that I think about it, you’re right, Robin!” Nami’s voice was quite loud. “Don’t tell me… are you pregnant, y/n?!”

Wait… what?

“I didn’t want to say it, but I just had a feeling,” Robin added.

But Law didn’t hear you. Why weren’t you responding?

“Y/n? Answer us, please,” Nami said. “It’s okay either way…”

“Um,” your voice was very shaky, “I don’t want to lie, so… I think I might be.”

Law felt his heart dropping, his entire body freezing and locking up as if he’d just heard the most terrifying thing anybody had ever said to him. 

“Does Law know?” Robin asked.

“No,” you quietly responded, clearly about to cry. After a moment it became clear you were crying by the way you’d been sniffling and gasping.

How could he have been so stupid? All the signs were there, and he was a doctor! Let alone that, you were his wife and he should be able to read you better than anyone! 

Law was now overcome with emotion, and his response to the intense feelings was to flee. Grabbing his katana, he headed over to Shachi and Penguin who were dancing like drunk idiots.

“I’m going back to the Tang,” Law informed them. 

“You okay captain?” Penguin asked.

“Maybe you caught what y/n had?” Shachi questioned.

Law simply didn’t respond to their questions and left.

—

“No,” you exhaled through shaky breaths, choking up and feeling tears about to spill past your eyes.

You couldn’t hold it back any longer, and a sob slipped out from you.

“Are you afraid of telling him?” Nami put a hand on your forearm, rubbing her thumb against your skin comfortingly.

“I don’t know,” you cried. “He’s always said we shouldn’t… that it’s too dangerous.”

“That’s true,” Robin sighed. “But it’s not impossible for you to go through with it. Many pirates have had kids on board before.”

“I just feel like I have to be sure before I say anything,” you frowned. “I don’t wanna scare him…”

“Are you certain?” Nami asked, “he’s your husband, y/n. Even if it turns out to be nothing, he won’t be upset with you.”

“I think he’d rather hear from you first,” Robin spoke, calmly, “I don’t think he’d be necessarily pleased if you hid this from him.”

“I know… but I’m just-“ you hiccuped, “I’m terrified.”

The girls brought you in for a hug, holding you close. “You’ll be okay,” Nami whispered. 

—

When you’d finally calmed down and the three of you emerged from the girls’ quarters, you were surprised to find that Law was gone. Had you been away for too long?

You decided to wait a couple minutes to see if he’d appear. But, with each moment that passed, you began to realize he’d completely left the ship.

Then you heard two distressed voices calling your name. 

“Y/n!”

You looked over to see Shachi and Penguin. “Captain just randomly left and wouldn't tell us why!”

“Please go check on him!” 

You felt sick. Why had Law just left like that, not even giving an excuse? Something must’ve been wrong…

Did he know?

—

You’d found your husband hiding in the submarine’s operation room. Why in there of all places, you had no clue.

The door to the room creaked as you opened it, alerting him to your presence.

You could hardly see his face due to the lack of light in the room, but you could tell that he’d quickly looked away when he’d seen you.

“Law? Shachi and Penguin said you just left without warning. They asked me to check on you…” 

Why did you feel so scared? Deep down you knew the reason why, but you just wanted to keep denying it. It was easier to avoid the issue than confront it, in your mind.

Law didn’t respond. Was he upset? Or did he just not know what to say… you’d have to find out, even if you didn’t wish to. You walked toward him in very short steps.

“Are you okay, Law?” You asked, your voice sounding small and meek like you were afraid of approaching him.

You were not even five feet behind him now. And he still hadn’t turned to face you, or even said anything. 

“Law?” You choked out his name, tears beginning to slip past your eyelashes.

“Y/n…” he breathed out, “is there something you need to tell me?”

His voice sounded cold, but worse was that you could tell he was scared. The concern was evident in his tone.

“Law,” you cried, “I’m sorry, I was so scared and I just wanted to talk to the girls about it-“

“But not me, your husband?”

“I was afraid you’d be mad,” you quietly said. 

Law finally turned around, facing you completely. He looked down at your crumbling frame, arms curled around yourself as you shook, trying to make yourself smaller. Your head fell to face the floor as you cried.

When you found the courage to look up again, your eyes widened as you realized Law had been crying, too. 

Had he realized you’d been terrified, too? Terrified of him.

“I… couldn’t ever be mad at you,” he mumbled. 

Unable to bear the space between the two of you, you inched closer to him and fell into his embrace, crying into his shoulder. 

His tattooed arms wrapped around you. “Y/n, I’m sorry, I should’ve known from the start… and yet I was oblivious like an idiot, and you…”

“I felt so alone,” you whispered. “You’d always said you didn’t want this, so I couldn’t come to a conclusion on what to do.”

“Listen… we’ll find out the truth, and no matter what the outcome is I’ll never be upset.” He calmly suggested. 

You simply nodded in response.

—

As you waited for your results, you laid atop Law’s chest while he brushed his fingers through your hair. If it hadn’t been for the test you’d been waiting on, you would be asleep right now. You were completely drained of energy, exhausted to the core.

“It’s been long enough,” he sighed. 

You moved to let him get off the bed, but you couldn’t find the strength to follow him over to your bathroom. You decided to just wait from the bed.

Watching as he slipped past the bathroom door, he was only in for a second before coming back out. You felt like you couldn’t breathe. Like your heart was stopping, but somehow beating faster than it ever had before at the same time. The anticipation was killing you.

You looked up to Law, searching his eyes for an answer. He seemed to feel the same as you. Scared.

And then he nodded. 

#trafalgar law x reader #trafalgar law #trafalgar d law x reader #trafalgar d water law x reader #trafalgar d water law x you #trafalgar law x you #trafalgar law x y/n #law x reader #law x you #law x y/n #fem reader #one piece x reader

[wisteriaiswriting]

𝕆𝕟𝕔𝕖 𝕚𝕟 𝕒 𝕤𝕖𝕒𝕤𝕠𝕟

Prompt: 3

Words: 1195

Growing up, with and without his radiant powers he wasn’t a fan of the cold. Snow included. But now he wished he tried to play in it at least once, but he was a stubborn child. Never agreeing to his parents' terms, always inside while his friends made snowmen and had snowball fights.

Even now. As the majority of the protocol spent the day outside doing a range of activities, from building snowmen to full on snowball fights. Watching as Jett and Raze managed to destroy Gekko and Chamber. Ironic since the girls betrayed Gekko and Chamber wasn’t even participating.

The others were either watching, doing other things or hiding in the warmth of the base. And you could say you were doing the same. The warmth wasn’t from the fireplace, although it was heating the room. But mainly from the man himself, Phoenix.

While he was looking out the window at everyone else you sat on the floor, against the couch. The same one a certain shadow was lounging on while knitting. You were comfortable, being thrown a few cushions and a blanket. You were focused on your project, which sat on your lap while you added the finishing touches.

If someone else looked at it most likely they wouldn’t have a clue what it was. But a few people knew, 2 people to be specific. Throughout the building process you had KAY/O at your side, as he helped with the main aspect of it, being the only one with that expertise. And Raze.

The project was fine on its own but something was missing. And who better than Raze, who quickly found the problem.

 “It doesn’t look good…Not that it’s bad, just doesn’t scream Phoenix. Ya know?”

And surprisingly, she was right. It was bland and while it does it’s job, painting it looked alot better. So she started, covering the device in bright orange flames all around with a white background. She made it look good while still being useful, as she was careful with the small brush to not cover anything that wasn’t meant to be covered.

Before you knew it hours had passed. Everyone who was outside had slowly trickled back inside, many heading back to their rooms for a warm shower. Once the majority had finished and returned to the living area, this was happening just as Raze leaned back from the project.

The otherwise silent room was then filled with her back cracking from being hunched over for hours. Swiftly placing everything back into their designated places before doing one final check over, soon deciding it was good. She handed it over before using the same hand to slap your shoulder.

“Go get him!”

As she was speaking she started pushing you through the door, locking it when you were outside. Well, guess it’s time. You wandered down the hall for a while before reaching the living area, surprisingly not a lot of people were inside. With a few more cleaning up in the kitchen, Sage noticing you quickly.

“Y/N, you missed dinner, but I did leave some in the fridge.”

“Thanks Sage, but do you know where Phoenix is?”

“Last time I saw him was at dinner he grabbed a plate then left.”

“Thanks!”

At her words you left, heading towards one of the few places he would be. Either training, in a meeting or in his room. Luckily you found him on your first try, in his room. The lights were off, with the only light source was a salt lamp on his desk, one gifted by Chamber from a mission.

The lamp showed how Phoenix was sitting on his bed, using his fork to slowly push around his food. The sauce has made everything else soggy, showing he hasn’t eaten much, if any.

“Jamie?”

“Hmm?”

He didn’t even look up at you, instead dropping his fork.

“If you want I can leave?”

You were giving him a chance to be alone, watching as he thought about it. Soon enough he waved you over, letting you sit on the bed, although on the end. But hey, you’re still here. You both sat in silence for a few minutes before he threw the plate onto his bedside table, leaning forward.

“Why are ya’ here?”

“I had something to give you, but I’m not sure if you want it now.”

“Don’t you leave, not after that!”

Teasing Phoenix with a gift is a sure fire way to get him to talk, and luckily you had the gift now. So instead of saying anything you pulled it from one of your pockets, laying it on the sheets in front of him. Letting him grab and inspect the bracelet.

“You made this?”

“You say it like you don’t believe me?”

“After what I’ve seen you do? Nah.”

“Mind you I did! And had some help…”

During your time arguing you didn’t get to see him putting it on. The band cooled down his body, starting from the same wrist before slowly fading down to his feet. Which was a first, and openly welcomed after years of being warm.

“Like you did–”

Your response was cut short. Seeing his smile slowly grow to cover his face, eyes were becoming teary. Before you could do anything he had crossed the room to drag you into a hug, dropped just as quick.

“Y/N, mate! I gotta go test this!”

Jamie was quick to leave the room, hearing him getting further from you. Leaving you with no choice but to follow, able to catch his shoe around the corner. Luckily it was easy enough to figure out where he was going, also the fact he left the door wide open.

He was so distracted by the snow, being able to walk in it and finally feel its coldness instead of the evaporated version. Watching the snow instead of you, who has grabbed a handful of snow and compacting it. He was not prepared for what you had planned, beat him in a snowball fight.

Before he knew it you let go of the snowball, letting it fly towards him. Quickly hitting the back of his head.

“Oi!”

He tried to flick off any remaining snow while facing you.

“You mind luv’?”

Instead of responding you reached down to grab even more snow. Looking up to see him already backing away, turning into a sprint when you followed.

“Come back here Jamie!”

“No way, you gotta stay away! ”

The next few minutes were spent with you chasing Jamie and him running away. Ending with him successfully hiding for a few minutes, luckily that's all he needed. Sneaking around the best he can, trying to find you before you find him.

Seems like luck is on his side, finding you kneeling in the snow. Watching as you kept making the ball bigger, although you’ll never get to throw it, at least not tonight. As he managed to sneak up on you, and while you were busy stuff snow into your shirt.

“JAMIE!”

Your only response was him laughing while running back inside. You rushed to grab your own handful and run after him.

#valorant x reader #valorant x male reader #phoenix x reader #phoenix x male reader #wisteria♥

[sophierequests]

looking out for you // fingers crossed part two

Navigation┃Main Masterlist┃Requests

Pairing: Kaz Brekker x f!Reader

A/N: Quite a few of you guys wanted a part two, so here it is! I'm so glad that you liked this fic so much, because I am a sucker for angsty writing. Some of you even wanted to be tagged, so the question is, if you'd like me to establish a tag list? Where I'd just tag you whenever I post a fic about this certain character? I'd love to do that, you just have to comment, and I'll do it!

You can find part one here!

Summary: Kaz goes to confront the reader about hiding their wound, but it does not go as planned, leading to a fight and also confessions that were regretted immediately after.

Genre: Angst, Comfort

Word Count: 2.5K (how the hell did I write that much again???)

Warnings: A bit angsty, feelings, mention of past injury and pain, slight callback to a previous panic attack, if you squint and a lot of profanities

You didn’t wake up for almost one whole week. And when you did, you had one of the worst headaches imaginable. Even though you weren’t back in action yet, you still felt a lot better.

Jesper was more than relieved to see you fully awake, sitting upright and smiling at him. Kaz, however, didn’t come to see you when you first woke up. Which didn’t surprise you, but left you with a sinking feeling of disappointment.

“Oh, I’m so dead.” Jesper sighed, throwing himself next to you on the bed, before giving you your dinner. You turned your head to smile at him sheepishly, taking the dinner gratefully.

“Why now, Jes? If Kaz wanted to actually kill you, he would have done it by now.”

“Isn’t that just fucking comforting, love.” he said, whilst chewing his own food.

 “You can be glad that Wylan loves you because I think I saw a glint of murder in his eyes after I told him what happened. I’m pretty sure his wrath would’ve been worse.” you joked, nudging the sharpshooter's arm with a grin.

“Ha ha ha, very funny, Y/N.” Jesper mocked, “You have no clue how mad he was after that. He almost forced me to sleep downstairs!”

The both of you laughed, enjoying the time without any distress or missions thoroughly.

“How’s Kaz?” you asked, immediately regretting it after seeing Jesper’s facial expression.

“Ugh, if I would only know. This man is starting to become a ticking time bomb.” he said, toying with his rings nervously, “I don’t think he’s sleeping. At least not really well. And I think he’s only really talking to Inej. I haven’t heard him say a word, since he called me to help Nina fix you up. I don’t think you’re allowed to almost die again anytime soon, or he’ll go completely mad.”

“I’ll try my best.” you chuckled, however, the weight of his words still heavy on your shoulders, “Do you think he’s mad at me?”

“What? Are you being serious right now? Please don’t tell me that you care about what Kaz I-can’t-express-my-feelings-properly Brekker thinks about you. Love, he’s not mad at you, why would you think that? You’re probably one of the few people on this team, that he could never be mad at.” he told you reassuringly.

You snorted.

“You should’ve seen the look on his face when he went into my room that night. If I wouldn’t be one of his valuable investments, he would’ve killed me on the spot. I think you think a bit too highly of his opinion of me. I could’ve finished the mission on my own. But no, he needed you to join me, because I am not allowed to go on these missions alone. He thinks I’m not useful on these sorts of missions, and it is driving me insane. He’d never send you to go on a mission with Inej!” 

“Oh Y/N, you are one of the smartest people I know, but during times like these, you can be so bloody dense.”

“Hey!” you snorted, giving him a slight jab in the ribs.

“I’m being serious. Have you ever thought about the fact, that he might care about you? I’ve known him for quite a while now, and he never acted like that with any of the Dregs. We all have the sneaking suspicion that our dearest boss might have a little crus-”

“Don’t finish that sentence, or I won’t be able to look him in the eyes anymore.”

“Why? Scared of someone actually returning your feelings?”

“Shut up!” you chuckled, slumping against the headboard and closing your eyes, the half-eaten dinner sitting on your nightstand was already forgotten.

“I don’t get what you see in him anyway. You’re way too good for him.” Jesper commented.

“I know. But so are you.”

“Aww, you’re so sweet.” he grinned, leaning his head on your shoulder.

He was right, of course, your crush on Kaz Brekker had been one of the most embarrassing gossip topics that the Crows could bring up. It was just such a bizarre thing to everyone. You were lovely and kind, never failing to comfort the team members if they needed it. And Kaz, well, Kaz was Kaz. You always told yourself that you were friends and that he wanted nothing more than that from you. But hearing it out loud, that he might have a crush on you too, gave you a complicated arrangement of feelings.

“Love, as much as I enjoy our little talks, I should get going. Because my boyfriend should already be waiting for me downstairs. We planned on going to the market, want something?”

You shook your head, waving him off with a smile.

The silence that Jesper had left you with didn’t stay too long. As soon as you closed your eyes, you heard the faint clicking of a cane doming from the corridor. Internally, you prayed that he would just walk right past your room, but if the Saints were actually real, they didn’t seem to like that idea.

Before you could think about what to do next, the handle turned and Kaz slipped inside the room.

“No knocking this time?” you asked, a soft smile on your lips.

The man let out a huff, and you knew that you were in for a lecture.

“What were you thinking? Hiding a gunshot wound? That could have got you killed. No, it should’ve killed you. You were more than lucky that Nina was here. If she hadn't been here, you would be dead by now! And Jesper lying right into my face will also be something I’ll have to keep in the back of my mind from now on.”

“Jesper lied because I told him too. I really didn’t need you to give us another talk on team safety.”

“Oh, so you probably also told him to shoot you then?” he snarled, visibly aggravated. 

“You can be such an ass sometimes, do you know that? Jesper didn’t mean to shoot me. It was my fault. I didn’t assess the situation properly and got hit. That’s it. He couldn’t have done anything to stop it.” you retorted, getting angrier and angrier, “And you know if you only came here to yell at me, I’d like you to leave, Kaz. I get that you’re angry, but that gives you absolutely no right to be such a bloody prick.”

“I’m not leaving. What you did was stupid and reckless, and I have every right to hold you accountable for that.”

“You have no right to anything, Brekker. This is the first time you visit me since that night you checked on me, and without showing the slightest bit of concern, you just start lecturing me? This is the last thing I need right now. You are the last thing I need right now.”

He tried to hide the way his face cringed, after hearing that statement, but this feeling was soon replaced as he saw you flinching, whilst trying to straighten your position. Nina helped you as best as she could, but the pain would stick around for a while.

Without a second thought, he moved towards your bed, handing you one of the vials, filled with a disgustingly sweet liquid to ease the pain.

“Here.” he said, his voice now way more regulated than before.

You sighed, taking it from his hand and downing it in one go.

“Are you going to do something else, other than just standing there like a lost dog?” you asked, patting the empty spot next to you as a sort of pathetic peace offer.

With a glint of hesitation in his eyes, he sat down next to you, avoiding eye contact as best as he could.

“Why did you try to hide it? I don’t understand.” he said again, but now in a much softer tone.

“You said it yourself. A hurt crow is of no use.” you huffed, closing your eyes, “I just didn’t want to bother you with that. You said it was important that you got to take a look at the blueprints as soon as we were back, so I thought it would be best to follow that.”

Kaz stared back at you, a conflicted expression painted on his face.

“I haven’t looked at the blueprints yet.” he confessed, “I only wanted you to bring them to me, to make sure that you were safe. I knew that it would be of risk to go into Pekka’s territory. I needed to actually see that nothing happened to you.”

“You already sent me a babysitter for that, though.” you snorted.

“He was just a backup safety measure.”

“Why do you trust me so little? I could’ve done the mission on my own and I would have been completely fine.”

“Y/N…”

“No, Kaz, you asked me to tell the truth, and now it’s your turn.”

“I do trust you. More than you probably know.” Kaz admitted, running a gloved hand through his messy hair, only now you realized that he looked like he hadn’t slept properly in the last few days, “When Jesper brought me the blueprints that day, I was more than worried. You wouldn’t make Jesper finish miniscule things like that.”

He paused, pondering on what to say next.

“We fought, Jesper and I. He told me things I didn’t like to hear. That’s why I only checked on you after he was gone. I should’ve just swallowed my pride.”

“What did he say to you, Kaz?” you asked, slightly confused by where this was supposed to go.

“He told me that I was just a boy too scared of his own feelings. And…”

“And?” 

“And he’s right. The reason why I always send Jesper with you on these missions is because I can’t stand seeing you hurt. I care for you. In a different way than I care for Inej, Jesper or any other team member. I just never though that this would influence my judgement this much.”

This confession left you speechless. Coming from Kaz this was basically a love confession. No, it definitely was a love confession.

“Why didn’t you come to see me earlier? I’ve been awake for a few days now. I genuinely thought you were mad at me.” you inquired, testing the waters slowly, “I mean, I don’t know how out of it I would’ve been, but still.” 

“I was mad. Not at you, but at myself. Nothing of that should’ve happened, I should’ve known better.” he rolled his head back to stare at the ceiling, his hands now only a few inches away from your legs, “I did come to visit you. When you were still unconscious. Nina said that you were going to be fine, but you didn’t look fine. Well, not what I understand under the word fine.”

An awkward silence settled between the two of you until Kaz groaned, moving to get up.

“I’m sorry, this was more than ill-fitting of me Y/N. I shouldn’t have said that. You shouldn’t have to be aware of these kinds of one-sided feelings. I’m sorry.”

Before he could stand up, you lunched forward, clutching his sleeve tightly.

“Wait, what if I told you that I may or may not feel the same?” you stammered, realizing that you were still holding onto his shirt, only a little bit away from accidentally touching his skin.

His expression turned from a look of irritation, and he pulled his sleeve out of your grasp.

“No.” he replied in a stern voice

“What? What do you mean no? You can’t just tell me about your feelings and then deny mine!” you answered, now standing, or rather sitting, completely helpless against his words.

“I could never give you what you want. You know that.” he shot back, now meeting your gaze harshly.

“What do I want, Kaz? Tell me?” 

“Someone that doesn’t have to retch when you touch them. Someone that can actually show you affection. Someone you can kiss. Not me.” 

“I don’t need all that. There’s more to love than just that.” the mention of the word love made Kaz shudder, since none of you said it out loud up until now, “I enjoy your company and the conversations we share. I enjoy you. The rest really doesn’t matter. You’re not a lost cause.” 

He turned around, his back now facing you, his hands wiping over his face anxiously. For a moment, he just stood there, not saying anything. Then he walked over to the door, his hand resting on the handle. This made your stomach drop. You really thought that things could work out between the two of you.

However, something inside him stopped him from turning the handle and leaving. The moment felt like a déjà vu, him turning to run off to his office like a kicked dog and her just helplessly sitting on her bed. He thought about the following hours, Inej telling him that she was alive and him thanking every supernatural force for granting him another chance. This was it. And what was he doing? Running away again. 

No, not this time.

Meanwhile, there were tears building up in the corners of your eyes. You didn’t know what to do, and even though the hurt was possessing every inch of you, you wouldn’t run after him this time.

“I can’t and won’t promise you anything.” his voice broke the silence, causing you to look up at him, “But if that is what you want, I’d be willing to try.” 

You felt like someone just waterboarded you, just to pull you out right after.

“What?” you stuttered.

Kaz crossed the room again to get back to your bed, sitting a bit closer to you than before. After taking a deep breath, he set one of his gloved hands on yours, eyeing you carefully.

“I can’t promise you any sort of physical affection. To be frank, I’ll have to get used to any sort of affection, too. But I’d like us to try, Y/N.” he repeated slowly.

You nodded hastily, the weight of his words hitting you like a freight train. He wanted to try. That was more than enough for you. Tears were still running down your cheeks, just for a different reason now.

“I’d like us to try, too.” you answered softly, seeing the hint of a smile form on his face.

“Good, it’s settled then.” Kaz added smugly, now genuinely smiling, “And please stop crying, love. Don’t waste your tears on things like that.”

Much to your surprise, he didn’t wait for you to do it on your own, but moved his hands to cup your cheeks, wiping the tears away with his thumbs.

Before any of you could say anything else, the door opened suddenly, Jesper and Nina walking in to your room without any announcement. They took in the scene, you, sitting next to a startled Kaz, leftover tears still gliding down your cheeks. 

“You made her fucking cry, Brekker?” Nina shrieked, her expression changing into one of annoyance.

“It’s not how it looks like!” the both of you tried to clarify in unison. 

None of you knew where this would take you from there on, but both of you wanted to try. And at least for you, that was the only thing that mattered.

Taglist:

@b3kk3r-by-br3kk3r @kitty084

Thank you so much for the positive feedback, I really do appreciate every comment and request I get <3 If you want to be added to a taglist, just tell me in the comments!

#grishaverse fanfic #grishaverse x reader #grishaverse #kaz brekker fanfic #kaz brekker imagine #kaz brekker #kaz brekker x reader #soc #six of crows #six of crows x reader

[that-one-gay-writer1227]

30 Day Writing Challenge: day four, Confessions

Here you were, an exact year into your friendship with the wonderful and mysterious Adeptus Xiao. 'How in the world did you manage to catch this young yaksha's attention?' You wonder. This is a feat not accomplished by many, and the few that managed to capture his attention have either long since passed, or have met him as their worst nightmare. Although you were loving to all of the people you came across, you rarely let people pass your walls enough to fall in love with someone, this is something you and Xiao had in common. You both were sheltered and guarded. Maybe that's part of the reason why Xiao felt so strongly for you. 

Xiao was the first out of you two to fall, and he fell hard. He knew from the moment he met you that you were going to be someone close, but in all of his years, he never expected you to be this close. 

To celebrate your first year of friendship, you and Xiao decided to go on something you both liked to call "a platonic date." a quiet evening where you'd both have dinner at wangshu inn, and then go star gazing somewhere Xiao knew of not too far from there. As surprising as it sounds, Xiao was the one to propose the idea. He was the one who planned the evening to go absolutely perfectly. 

~~~~~~

Arriving at the inn as per Xiao's request, you greeted Verr Goldet as you entered the building. The afternoon was beautiful there just past five. The sun was ever so slightly changing to orange, and the clouds glew a brilliant pink. The wangshuu inn actually was basking in the glow, and just a few stories up, so was Xiao. you entered the room to see the adeptus sitting on his usual windowsill, looking out into the fields. He always did this whenever he had the time to. It was his chance to think, reflect and reminisce all he'd lived through. 

"Hey Xiao, fancy meeting you here." you said half jokingly. He smiled softly and patted the rail next to him for you to come join him. You padded over and joined him happily holding two plates of almond tofu you made earlier. "I got your letter wanting to meet you here, what's up?"

He looked at you, and then away again. It seemed as if he was trying to find the right words to say, but couldn't form the sentence how he wanted it. finally settling on a response he replied curtly, "I- I wanted to talk to you about something I find important." 

That took you a little off guard. His tone was a little hidden, and very very subtle. But it almost seemed like he was nervous or upset. Being entirely honest, that nervousness now spreads to you. You had no clue what he was going to say, what if he was dropping your friendship? Now thoroughly shaken, you began fidgeting with your clothing and avoiding his gaze. "Oh.. is everything ok?" 

He took notice of your fidgeting, and grabbed a hand of yours, gently rubbing the back with him thumb. Taking one of the plates of food, he took a deep breath and squeezed your hand just a little tighter, causing your face to heat up from the motion. Xiao stood up from his spot on the railing, still holding your hand and pulling you next to him slightly less gracefully. You weren't exactly sure what to say, and so you didn't. Grabbing onto him for balance, you felt him lead you towards a higher balcony that led to the roof. Following him, you stepped up and sat beside him above the building. 

At this point the sun had been long since it was set, the stars shining brightly. You both sat down and enjoyed your meal together in silence. That's how it usually was between the two of you besides the occasional deep conversation piece. Comfortable silence was always better since you both could enjoy getting lost in your own heads, together. The meal was quite delicious as expected from a wonderful chef like you. Even the humble yaksha would wholeheartedly agree you had a certain talent while making almond tofu. 

As you both finished, you couldn't help but shake the slight anxiety of what xiao said earlier. It must've been serious if Xiao hadn't already said it. He was never one to sugarcoat the truth. He either told you or he didn't, so the fact that he hadn't brought it up yet was a little worrying. Though you didn't have very much time to think on it, as in a matter of moments, Xiao had teleported both you and him to the top of a mountain that hosted a beautiful lake in front of you. Watching the water under the moon as the stars above twinkled was so distractingly beautiful you almost felt the relief you were so craving for. 

"So beautiful.." You whispered. Not paying very much attention to the golden eye'd man who had been staring at you for a moment or two longer. 

"It truly is..." He caught himself a little stunned that his own mouth would betray him like that. How his voice acted on its own without his command. He swallowed hard and cleared his throat finally pulling your attention towards him. He took a shaky breath in, and spoke "I needed to talk about something. please listen to the whole thing." At this point his ears were red, and a slight tint of pink coated his cheeks. this was very uncharacteristic of Xiao and you weren't sure what was going on, thoroughly confused. 

You nodded for him to continue and took a shaky breath yourself. Maybe you should apologize for whatever made him anxious, or for making him uncomfortable as a friend, you thought to yourself. The young adeptus looked at you for a moment and muttered to himself a small bout of encouragement. 

"What I needed to tell- I- look. I'm not normally the kind to talk overly or outwardly, but there comes a time when one must express what one is feeling." He started. His face looked a wonderfully bright shade of red, but also paled from fear. "I- have mortal feelings for you y/n."

The last part nearly flew over your head, as you just felt your jaw drop figuratively. You didn't know what to say. Here you were thinking that he was just about to tell you he didn't care about you anymore and that he wanted you to get lost, but no. He actually said the entire opposite. By the time you snapped back into gravity you made eye contact with a tense Xiao, looking and scanning for any sign of rejection. You've never seen him as expressive as these last five minutes. To be honest you found it adorable. 

Giving xiao a very soft smile you grabbed one of his hands, much like he did before, and squeezed it. You felt tears of relief drip slightly past your eyes. This made Xiao even more tense as he thought that perhaps he hurt you in some way, but you challenged that thought by slowly going to hug him. 

"I have feelings for you too xiao."

Little did you both know, this one single starry night would blossom into something quite beautiful. 

#xiao x reader #fluff #xiao fluff #xiao x you #genshin impact #genshin boys #genshin xiao x reader #reader is not traveller #xiao x reader fluff #genshin fluff #xiao #yn #idk what to tag this as #lol #requests r open btw

[the-chosen-fanfiction]

Simon Peter | After The Rooster's Crow | Platonic

Dialogue prompt: "He knew this would happen. And you know Him."

Requested: Yes

After witnessing Simon Peter’s immense guilt upon finding him in blind panic on the outskirts of Jerusalem, you hear him out before hitting him with some truths.

Had someone approached you a week ago to say that Jesus would die on a cross and rise again on the third day, you’d have laughed them right in the face. But you know better, first blind by ignorance and now comprehending what Jesus had been talking about at last, filled with gratitude and awe to find Him appearing to many, including yourself. The days after Jesus’ resurrection feel like you’re floating on air. The Son of Man has fulfilled the prophecies and has proven to be the Christ through a means you had never even considered. God’s plan had been more brilliant than anyone could ever have imagined.

Although Thomas had doubted it at first, now that everyone was back together, things were better than they were. Of course, the empty spot of Judas lingers no matter who replaces him, but none of you think back on it much longer. None of that matters now that He is here again, with you and the other followers, alive in a body that shows the scars where He had been crucified. 

Who can blame you for feeling so delighted? Everyone seems eager to spread the Good News to the ends of the Earth, but Jesus keeps you all at bay for a little while longer. 

Things seem to make so much more sense now, as if the world appears to be more colourful. In the presence of Jesus, everything seems to be so much more beautiful, as if He causes everyone to see with another, new set of eyes. 

It is more than noticeable when someone acts differently than the others, especially when it comes to the current joy lingering in the air. Simon Peter has withdrawn himself from a dinner party hosted by Matthew and is currently fiddling with a loose rope he found laying in the dirt, hoping to find some kind of grip where he has lost it throughout the last week. He has slipped away silently and as of now, no one has come to look for him yet, and he takes the moment of silence to reflect on everything that has been going on.

You notice his absence first – although you’re certain that Jesus must have noticed it, too – and lean towards Andrew who is busy munching on a mouthful of fish, his plate still laden with all kinds of foods. “Hey, Andrew,” you pipe up, “Have you seen your brother?” 

The curly-haired fisherman pries something from between his teeth with the tip of his tongue and swallows away his bite of food whilst letting his gaze go through the crowd of people, who are all contently enjoying dinner. He shrugs before looking back at you. “No clue.” he quips, “Perhaps he had to relieve himself?” 

You shake your head and press your lips together into a tight line. “He’s been gone for too long for it to be that.”

“Perhaps he needed some alone-time with Eden?” The humour in Andrew’s tone makes your lips curl upwards, but you nod towards his sister-in-law, who is currently helping herself to a second serving of soup.

After following your gaze, Andrew frowns. “Oh. Then… I’m not so sure. I can go take a look.”

You put a hand on his shoulder and squeeze it gently. “No need, I’ll go. I’m already done eating, anyways, and it would be a waste for your chicken to turn cold.” Andrew lets his gaze go to his full plate and hums. 

“Ah, thank you, (Y/n).”

“Of course.” you say, standing up to excuse yourself from the table, a few pairs of concerned eyes aimed at you, but you ignore them.

The streets of Capernaum are silent at this time of day, blazing torches setting the streets in some light as you head in a random direction whilst calling Simon’s name. 

“Simon?” you query through the empty streets, making your way over the muddy roads, where several people have hidden themselves behind their curtains, candlelight streaming from the windows. Somewhere in the distance, a baby is crying its lungs out, their howling answered by the whining of a dog responding to the shrill noise.

You call for your friend a few times before heading back to his house and walking in the other direction, hoping to find him there instead. 

After shouting a few more times, you are nearly inclined to return and hope that Simon has come back in the time you were away, but the sound of your own name immediately has you move forward again. 

You find Simon Peter sitting on a barrel, looking out over the Sea of Galilee that glitters in the distance. “There you are,” you breathe in relief, but your smile falls as soon as you see vertical streaks on his face from where his tears had slid down his cheeks, and you swallow thickly. “Are you alright?”

Simon’s jaw tenses and he inhales sharply through his nose, tying and untying a knot in the rope that burns the skin off his hands. He shakes his head slowly, a bitter grimace spreading over his features. “I’ve failed Him.” he utters, “He is well in His right to never spend time with me again. When it came down to it, I disappointed Him and God the Father by saying that I had no idea what these people were talking about, and—”

“Wait, pause for one second,” you interrupt him before hopping onto another empty barrel, getting a bit comfortable, “I will need some context first. What could possibly have happened that has you down in the dumps this much? Jesus has just come back from the dead, what makes you think that He would never want to spend time with you ag—”

“Because I told them that I do not know Him, okay?!” Simon frustratedly exclaims. “After Jesus was arrested, I… I was angry, right?! I was livid! I tried to fight back, but He told me to put my sword away. He even healed the ear of these Romans that I cut off. Mind you, I did that to defend ourselves!” 

Your throat runs dry at the mention of that night – you had not been present in the garden when it happened, but the news had spread like wildfire that Jesus had been arrested – and you lean a bit closer to your friend, still unsure what he is getting at. 

When you don’t reply, Simon elaborates further. “A-And He just let them take Him away. What do you think I did? Fight back again? Follow Him? No, I ran! I was so afraid that everything would have been for nothing! I was so angry. I… I went to find Him later, tailed them from a safe distance.” He takes a deep breath and closes his eyes, fighting against the tears. “Three times, (Y/n). I was asked three times if I belonged to Jesus. When people claimed they knew that I was with Him, I… I straight up denied it! I lied and said that I had never met Him in my life! Thrice! Just as Jesus said, and the rooster crowed, and He looked at me, straight into my soul. Oh, (Y/n), I feel so guilty! How could I?”

With a hitching breath, you put a hand on the shoulder of your friend, trying to comfort him in his distress. The fisherman hides his face in his hands, not daring to look at you. “Now, He is back. He is alive, and well, and perfect, and I know that He is God! I… How… I know I should be delighted to have Him here, that He is everything that has been foretold in the prophecies of Isaiah, and Micah, and Hosea, and-and-and that everything is unfolding right in front of us, that we are living through historical times when it comes to Scriptures, but… I feel so… Guilty! I can barely live with myself knowing that I had the audacity to even mutter that I didn’t know Him!”

You thickly swallow, slowly shaking your head. “Simon,” you calmly state, “Take a deep breath. "He knew this would happen. And you know Him. Have you learnt nothing from Him? Did you forget what He taught us about forgiveness?”

Simon whimpers. “But (Y/n)! Jesus was talking about us people forgiving one another. He Himself is God, that’s different!”

“How do you know?” you quip, “You and I both know Jesus, and we both know that He will forgive you for this. Have you talked to Him about it?”

Groaning in frustration, Simon throws back his head. “No!” he cries out, “How can I possibly even look at Him, (Y/n)?! You think it’s so easy, but it’s not!”

You huff. “If you are not going to talk to Jesus about it, that is up to yourself, but then you should also stop wallowing in your own misery.”

“I am not wallowing in my own misery!”

“Stop feeling sorry for yourself and return to the party, then.”

Simon lets out a humourless laugh and a pregnant silence befalls you two. Staring out over the water, you swallow thickly. “Perhaps it is just that easy, you know.” you mutter, “Just talk to Him about it. Maybe Jesus will even bring it up Himself. He will restore you, truly.”

He does not protest it this time around. Simon narrows his eyes, wondering what he should say. 

“No excuses.” you add when he does not reply. “Talk to Him. Don’t be afraid to do so. Jesus has never turned away from you and will not do so now, either.”

Simon tosses the piece of rope onto the ground and sighs deeply, mulling over your words. “What if He rejects me?”

“He will not.”

“But what if–”

“He will not.” you repeat, firmer this time, and you give Simon such a strict glare that it shuts him right up.

You are the first to speak up again. “You know what we should do,” you pipe up, “We should go out on the water to see if we can catch anything. Just go fishing like the old days, it will give you some time to sort out your thoughts. The wind is nice and the water is calm enough.”

Simon’s first instinct is to challenge this proposal, but when he lets his eyes go to the water, something tugs at his heart. Perhaps it would indeed be nice to go out on the water again, just for the sake of figuring things out, to clear his head.

“Fine.” he says, and the two of you get off the barrels you had been sitting on before heading out for the shore, but footsteps behind you halt you in your tracks instead. 

“You two, got room for a few more people?” John the Beloved inquires, approaching alongside a few other followers. 

You look at Simon, who shrugs and then nods. “Sure thing,” he says, “Come on. Please bring your own nets.”

Nathanael catches up to you as the bunch of you head towards the vessel that is positioned on the shore of the Sea of Galilee. “What’s gotten into him?”

You quirk a smile and look at your friend from the corner of your eye, knowing that Nathanael’s curiosity has never changed over the years that you’ve known him for, and sigh deeply as you look at the back of Simon Peter’s head, who is walking in front of you. 

“Something between him and Jesus,” you say, “Things will work out well, don’t you worry.” 

Whilst you push the boat into the water with the assistance of Big James and Simon, it feels almost nostalgic to stand here again, staring into the starry night. 

For a moment, you watch Simon as he gathers his nets into one of the corners of the boat, obviously sunken away in thought, and you can’t help but smile a bit. 

Things will be alright between Jesus and him, you have no doubt about it.

The group heads out on the water, and with your eyes focused upon the horizon, you enjoy the salt in the air and the rush of the waves rippling against the sides of the wood. 

Regardless if you catch anything, it feels like one of these nights preceding the dawn of a new, vastly different day – perhaps not for you personally, but for your good friend Simon Peter.

#the chosen #reader insert #the chosen x reader #x reader #chosen x reader #angel studios #the chosen simon peter #simon peter x reader #simon x reader

[sexynetra]

7 for anarcia for the asks

7. ”go ahead, leave. i don’t care anymore just leave,”

I didn’t go into this intending to write hurt/no comfort but… I’m so sorry 😅

~~~~~~~~~~

Anetra was exhausted of this. She was exhausted of the constant fighting, of the passive aggressive remarks, of the thinly veiled resentment. She still loved Marcia. She would always love Marcia, but she didn’t know how much longer she could last like this. Something needed to change.

Her chest felt tight as she watched the clock on the wall tick over to the 9, the untouched dinner abandoned on the dining table long cold. She had no clue where Marcia was. She had stopped asking, for the most part. It never got her any answers anyways. And she wasn’t even certain she wanted to know. Confirming her suspicions would hurt more than the what-if’s.

Still, she felt her heart clench even more when she finally heard the front door unlocking a half an hour later. She didn’t want to do this. Doing this meant losing the most important thing in her life. But… in a way, she had already lost her.

“Marcia? Babe? Is that you?” She called out from where she was curled on the couch, date night attire swapped for cozy sweats and reading glasses, already on her third cigarette of the evening. She heard Marcia’s heels clicking on the hardwood floors before she saw the familiar coiffed blonde head of hair poking around the corner. She looked beautiful as ever, and Anetra could hardly look at her.

“Yeah, just me. You didn’t have to wait up for me, babe—“ she trailed off, eyes making their way to the smoldering cigarette still delicately held between Anetra’s index and middle finger. Marcia let out an indignant disgusted noise, crossing her arms and glaring at the offending object. “I’ve told you a million times not to smoke in the house. Plus, you told me you were trying to quit. Where did you get those cancer sticks anyways? I threw away all the packs in the house last week.”

Anetra closed her eyes, taking a long drag as she contemplated what to say. “It’s the only thing that helps me relax anymore.” She settled on finally. “And I’ve had a hell of a lot to be anxious about over the past few months. So forgive me for falling back to old habits, but I’m not sure you get a say in how I live my life. You certainly don’t let me have a say in how you live yours.”

Marcia’s eyes narrowed dangerously and Anetra steeled herself for the coming blows. “I don’t know what you’re trying to imply, Anetra, but I would be very careful how you proceed if I were you. You’d best not make any claims you can’t back up.” She hissed out and Anetra snapped, pushing herself to her feet and storming over to where Marcia was in the doorway.

“Oh, fuck all the way off with your empty threats. You don’t scare me. If you had nothing to hide, you would have told me where you were the first god damn time I asked you! But no. You’re fucking cagey every time I ask, and you’ve been getting home later and later and I have enough self respect to not let you string me along like some naive lovesick fool.” She growled, feeling her face going pink with anger.

Marcia took an instinctive step back, but the angry expression never left her face. “You don’t own me. You don’t get to know where I am 24/7 just cause we’re dating. You have no right to control me. I’m your girlfriend, that should be enough for you to trust me.”

Anetra threw her arms up in frustration, a humorless laugh escaping. “I never once wanted to control you, oh my god. I haven’t gone through your shit, I haven’t followed you anywhere. I’ve let this shit slide for months now. You’ve missed date nights, my performances. Family dinners, events, our fucking anniversary, and you still won’t tell me where you are or who you’re with. I want to trust you more than anything but I’m not an idiot. You don’t get blind trust anymore, you lost that privilege.”

Marcia’s jaw twitched and Anetra thought she saw a hint of sadness pass over Marcia’s face, but it was back to anger almost immediately, and Anetra half wondered if she had imagined it.

“God, you’re so fucking insecure, it���s crazy. Im spending time with my friends and staying late at work. You’re creating these fantastical stories about me to try and justify how controlling you are. I don’t have to put up with any of this, you know.”

Anetra stared at her, mouth open. Anetra was far from perfect, but she was far from a controlling partner. She had let so much slide without so much as a word of discontent slip. And she was done. “Go ahead, leave. I don’t care anymore, just leave,” her voice cracked on the final word and she had to blink rapidly to keep her tears at bay. She heard Marcia’s sharp inhale and brought the cigarette back to her lips, praying the nicotine would keep her calm enough to get through this.

“Wait, Anetra, babe, I didn’t—“ she started but Anetra cut her off before she could get her thoughts out.

“I’m serious. I can’t do this anymore. I love you, but… I just can’t. I’m sorry. Please just… just go.” The first tears spilled over and she clenched her eyes shut, embarrassed and overwhelmed. She felt Marcia’s thumb on her cheek a moment later, swiping at the wayward tears, and she flinched at the contact. “Don’t… don’t do that. Please. This is too hard already.” She whispered, more to herself than to Marcia.

Her resolve nearly broke entirely when she felt Marcia’s soft lips pressing a kiss to her forehead, wracking a small sob out of her. “I’m not letting you go without a fight, Neech. I can’t… I won’t. I’m gonna fight for us, even if you won’t.” She whispered against Anetra’s skin. Anetra wanted to believe her. More than anything in the world.

But she didn’t. “I’m sorry. I wish that was enough.” She sniffled, stepping back. Marcia’s jaw flexed and she looked down to the floor.

“Yeah. Me too.”

#I wrote this half asleep so if it makes no sense I’m sorry #anyways Cheater!marcia arc #I’m sorry Marcia is always in the wrong when I write stuff it’s just that I projected too hard on Anetra yknow #anyways this one was sad! but fun to write #call me the queen of angst I guess I can’t get enough #rpdr 15 #drag race #anetra #drag race 15 #rpdr #asks #marcia #marcia x3 #marcia marcia marcia #my writing #anarcia #anarcia fanfic #anarcia fanfiction #ask games #hurt/no comfort #fight tag #okay I am gonna post this and immediately knock tf out cause it’s 2 am :) #enjoy! or don’t bc it’s a sad one idk what y’all enjoy but I love sad shit :) #accidentally wrote 1k of angst sorry babe do you still think I’m hot

[motownfiction]

steam

As far as Sam’s concerned, the best Christmas nights are the ones where he gets to stay up with Uncle Roy.

Roy doesn’t spend every Christmas night with them. They usually just see him in the late mornings, when they go to Grandma and Grandpa Brady’s house for brunch. But sometimes, if things get a little boring for him, Roy comes by in the evenings, after dinner, before dessert. Says he’d be a fool to miss out on his big sister’s French silk pies.

But Sam knows it’s for the kids.

Mom and Dad always excuse themselves first. They spend all day working, and by the time the sun goes down, they’ve had it. Charlie tires himself out on the piano. Apparently, a kid can only play “O Come All Ye Faithful” on the piano so many times before he starts to feel like a very special episode. That leaves Sadie, Sam, and Uncle Roy, all up with the TV, watching It’s a Wonderful Life. Sadie eats from a big bowl of popcorn. Sam drinks more hot chocolate than he should be able to handle. Roy does a damn good impression of Jimmy Stewart, which he’s hard pressed to drop once he gets going. When Sam brings him a cookie from the kitchen, he thanks him just like he was really George Bailey.

“Why, thank you, Sammy,” he says after one bite. “You know, nothin’ does an old man good on Christmas night like peanut butter and sugar crystals. Makes ‘im good. Makes ‘im strong. Like when he was just a lad.”

“What old man?” Sadie asks. “You’re thirty-four.”

“That’s old,” Roy says, still not dropping the impression. “When you’re this old, you’ll understand.”

“I think thirty-four is as old as I’ll ever get,” Sam says. “Metaphorically, anyway.”

Roy shakes his head, finally letting go of Jimmy Stewart.

“Oh, please, Sam, don’t,” he says. “Thirty-four is way too old, even metaphorically. People ask you too many questions about why you won’t settle, you’re expected to make a certain amount of money every year, and the words blood pressure will start to mean something you never thought they would before.”

“Hmm,” Sam says. “So, if I’m gonna get to a metaphorical age and stick to it …”

“Nineteen,” Roy says. “It’s nineteen.”

“But what about twenty-one?” Sadie asks. “Don’t most people like to be old enough to order drinks?”

“Most people,” Roy says. “Sam shouldn’t, though. And neither should you, or Charlie, or anybody else you know. Get me?”

Sam nods. He doesn’t know much, but he’s heard a few things about Roy’s drinking habits. Something about when the going gets tough, the Roy gets drinking. That’s what Mom said after a late-night phone call with her little brother a few years back, anyway. She didn’t know Sam was listening, but she should have. If it’s about Uncle Roy, Sam always listens.

“What’s so special about nineteen?” Sam asks.

Roy smiles.

“You’ll figure it out when you get there,” he says. “It’s probably a little different for everybody.”

“I don’t know how I feel about this,” Sadie says.

“What’s the matter, hon?”

“Nineteen seems like a stupid age to be stuck at. I mean … don’t you want maturity? Don’t you want wisdom?”

Sam and Roy look at each other like they’ve understood the same plot all along. It makes Sam feel like he’s flying. Imagine being on the same page as someone as smart as Uncle Roy. It could never been Sammy Slacker, and yet, it always is.

“Sadie, look at me,” Roy says. “Think about everything you know about college freshmen. Now. Do I seem like I’m stuck as one?”

“No,” Sadie says. “You have a clue. More than one, actually.”

“Mmm-hmm. But am I boring? Or do I still get excited about things, even when they seem normal? Or even when they seem dumb?”

“You applauded for a Rankin-Bass special earlier tonight.”

“And I’d do it again. That’s what I mean when I say nineteen. That’s what I think you’re gonna mean when you get there, too. The verve. The verve!”

He walks into the kitchen, probably for no other reason than dramatic effect. Sam laughs. That sounds about right for Roy. He’ll do anything just for the gesture, just to seem grand.

Sam looks across the room at Sadie, through the steam from his hot chocolate.

“Hey, Sadie,” he says.

“What?”

“Uncle Roy’s pretty funny.”

“Of course he is. Do you have a point, or are you just saying things I already know?”

“I have a point. I think I’m kind of funny, too.”

“You’re funnier than I am. That’s for sure.”

“Debatable. But I think … I think I’m a lot like Uncle Roy. And I think … I think when we get older, even more than nineteen, I’m going to be even more like him.”

Sadie laughs, almost like she doesn’t believe Sam. He frowns.

“What’s so funny?” he asks.

“Sam, you have a lot in common with Uncle Roy, but I don’t think you’re going to be just like him,” Sadie says.

“Why not?”

Sadie sighs.

“Well, for starters,” she says, “Uncle Roy is very private. There are things he only knows about himself. I don’t think they’re bad things. I just think he wants to keep them that way.”

“And what about me?”

“As long as I’m around, it’ll never work.”

Sam sighs. He pivots toward the kitchen with the mug of hot chocolate still piping in his hands. Roy comes out of the kitchen, and Sam stares at him through the steam, trying to figure out if Sadie was right.

(part of @nosebleedclub december challenge -- day 5!)

#drabble #writeblr #ch: sam doyle #ch: sadie doyle #ch: roy brady #dynamic: i'll be your mirror #year: 1982

[acourtofthought]

Gwyn doing friendship bracelets because it reminds her of her sister is childish, but Bryce collecting my little pony figures, Aelin eating all the candy in a bag and smiling with yellow teeth, the bat boys having snowball fights, the bat boys touching things when they are told to not touch it, Elain being too shy and emberrassed to talk about or even mention sex and periods, and the author herself fangirling over every disney and pixar movies there is...is not childish? Like- why are we ignoring the fact that Sarah makes friendship bracelets herself?

You know... I once heard from an el/riel that El/riel would have an adult relationship and that's why it's superior.. girl wtf is an "adult relationship". If El/riel's book is only about secret sex, political bullsh*t and unnecessary drama then I certainly don't want it.

In their post they also mentioned how Sarah made it obvious that she's a child because she was described as cotlish. If they did prober research, they would know that Sarah also described Vassa as cotlish, but she's grown enough to be with Lucien? Or is she less of a threat enough to be allowed with Lucien? To distract Lucien from El/riel?

There wasn't much hate for Lucien when they realized that there was a available lady and they took the chance to throw her at Lucien so that they could do their thing in peace... until Gwyn came and they started to find nurmerous ways to destroy her character. "Gwyn is a child" "Gwyn is a lightsinger" "Gwyn lied about her SA" "Gwyn can't be with him because she's a SA victim" etc.... and when Elucien started to rise? Lucien got all the hate alongside Gwyn.

Sexy redheads for the win. They do nothing and yet piss off so many people who are in their adult age. That is power.

You are so right, sexy redheads DEFINITELY for the win! We don't need a golden haired sister with a black haired bat boy, another golden haired sister with a black haired bat with, and a third golden haired sister with a black haired bat boy. There should absolutely be some ginger added to the mix.

And you are right again. SJM does enjoy giving her characters a dose of their inner child when it comes to certain things but as you said, it's prevalent for many of her female MMC. I think it makes sense that Feyre never had a "thing" but that's in line with her character. She's always taken the Mother Hen role upon herself but now that she has Nyx, I think she'll get to experience all those moments through her son.

And I think people are misinterpreting SJM's use of coltish. Sure it can be used to describe someone young and playful but Nesta used this in reference to Gwyn while she was standing between two shelves. She wasn't doing anything to give the impression that she was playful at that time.

How the sentence actually reads is, "She was young" - (THEN) "almost coltish, with her slender, elegant limbs."

The only thing "coltish" that SJM is likening Gwyn to is her slender, elegant limbs (which you would find on a colt).

Yes, Coltish can also mean "energetic but awkward in one's movements of behaviors" but we know that doesn't describe Gwyn considering "As graceful as Gwyn had been."

E/riel, an adult relationship?! That is hysterical to me.

An adult relationship involves Trust, Communication, thinking in terms of "We" rather than "I".

"He knew she had no idea that he had done unspeakable things that sullied his hands far beyond their scars."

Azriel doesn't share his darkness with Elain because he does not trust she won't be horrified by him.

"Keeping away from Elain as much as possible." "He left the rest unspoken". "Azriel so rarely came to family dinners this days". "Lie, well the second part was a lie." "She extended the wrapped gift, her hand shaking."

Azriel and Elain are both characters who can sense things or easily observe things about others so they are picking up on obvious clues from the other one. That, however, is not the same thing as actually discussing something like two adults. Having an open conversation and being "real" with one another. Not to mention an adult relationship would not involve one persons hands shaking while in the others presence after knowing one another for nearly two years.

Also, a mature relationship would not be one where one person says they've never thought of the other person beyond their sexual fantasies. Mature relationships are ones where you do plan for your future together, the "we" instead of "I". There's no "our" future, it's only" his" fantasies. Az also speaks out against things Elain has specifically said she wanted (not to her face though, he's sure to wait until she's not around to hear him), and decides that he's entitled to speak on behalf of her Mating Bond.

Do people HONESTLY believe that Az and Elain's interactions emulate that of a mature and healthy couple? And that's where people say those two are at, in love with one another.

Az and Elain read like two 15 year olds having a high school crush. Both have experienced some very severe trauma in their lives and a real relationship would be one where that is addressed within the two years of knowing one another, where they have been given free reign to spend together and are both open to the interactions. A mature relationship would suggest that Az might have some insight as to Elain and how she feels about her relationship with the sisters. Where he acknowledges her friendships. I think the POV Bonus Chapter makes it pretty obvious that they still don't much about anything when it comes to the other.

You know, I love these asks but sometimes I sit here and wonder why they are sent anonymously because they are so well thought out and I feel like the senders deserve credit for them!

#pro elucien #pro gwynriel #anti e/riel

[bunky-writes]

Chapter 5:

“And Fall”

Two and a half months have gone by. That’s roughly 75 days, in hours that would round up to about 1.800 hours. It’s therefore been 1.800 hours since I’ve felt the sun. Its heat, how it spreads across your body, and your eyes automatically close due to the soothing feeling. It’s also been 1.800 hours since I’ve smelled the fresh air, salty winds from the beach, baked goods in the city, and that wet pavement scent after a summer shower.

I never thought I’d long to feel sand between my toes. I hate sand, it gets everywhere. The people who like sand between their toes are insane and should get therapy.

Speaking of therapy, my nightmares have not let up. I’m not sure when they got worse. Most of the time if I have a nightmare, I won’t sleep for the rest of the night. There’s no use trying, god knows I have tried.

The only times they let up are when I fall asleep next to Harvey or Pax. But that doesn’t happen that often. I can’t help but feel like this is too good to be true. Like something bad will happen. I keep hearing these noises at night, like scratching. Harvey thinks it’s just rats, but I’m not so sure.

The days have been long and tiring, mostly working at the farm, eating, hanging with Pax and Jo, and then it repeated. There's not much to do in here.

This morning was spent the same. Kate and I worked on the farm, watering the plants.

Checking the dirt and what else. Pax and Joseph were still working on storage, seems like something had happened because during breakfast it was tense and awkward. Harvey didn’t seem to mind, too busy to complain about “the horrible architecture and maintenance” to read the room.

I don’t know if I should ask them about it, it seemed like a family matter. Something private, hidden from the rest of the world. Nice to know it wasn’t just my family that would pretend to be perfect. That their perfect “son” wasn’t a dropout. A disappointment, a basket case.

“…-me that bag of seeds?”

“Hm?”

I woke up from my daydreaming to Kate looking at me, she had asked me something but I had honestly no clue what.

“I asked if you could hand me that bag of seeds.”

“Oh, yeah, of course!”

I realized the bag was in my hand, completely forgotten. I quickly gave it to Kate, almost stumbling over a filled bag of potatoes.

“You okay, sweetie?”

“Yeah, yeah… Just tired.”

I tried to smile but judging by Kate’s worried expression, it was probably more of a grimace.

“You know if you want to talk… I’m always here, even if it’s something simple and insignificant.”

I was thankful for Kate’s friendly remark, but I didn’t want to talk to anyone, to be honest. I knew I’d probably get therapy for what I’d seen if the world hadn’t gone to shit. And I was more than certain I needed to talk to someone. But I didn’t feel comfortable or ready.

“Yeah, I know.” This time, I did smile.

After that ordeal, we worked until lunch. Pax and Joseph were passive-aggressive. I don’t know what happened before breakfast but they’ve been tense ever since. Pax has never looked as annoyed and frustrated as now.

"Never thought I'd have a quiet lunch in this place." Harvey suddenly chimed in

He's right, there was always some noise during meals. Whether that's Kate's fussing, Pax dumb jokes or Jo complaining over Kate's fussing. But now, during this lunch, it was dead quiet. It was uncomfortably tense and incredibly awkward.

"Yeah, well, blame that on Joseph," Pax spoke up, with a bitter tone. It was dripping with venom.

"What's that supposed to mean?!" Jo spoke up, standing up from his seat.

"You know exactly what I mean, why do you always have to take everything so seriously?!" Pax stood up as well.

"Fuck you, dude!"

“HEY! Cut it out!" Kate finally cut in, obviously tired of the fighting.

"This can wait until after dinner, now eat your damn meal."

Both the boys thunked down in their seats, still glaring at each other. The rest of the lunch was spent in an even tenser atmosphere.

“Six, can I speak to you for a second?”

Kate stopped me after lunch, she seemed anxious.

“Uh, yeah sure. No problem.” I replied.

We both walked to the hallway while Harvey and the boys washed the dishes.

“Would you mind taking over inventory with Pax? I don’t know what’s going on in those boys’ minds but it’s probably best to let them cool off right now.”

Kate was tired, annoyed, and frustrated by her sons’ conflict. I’d be too. Her plucked eyebrows were furrowed and she seemed older due to her frown.

“Pax, well I’m not sure how to say this-“ Kate sighed while fiddling on the end of her button-up “-He can be rather private. I know it might surprise you but…”

“No, no I get it,” I quickly answered, and I meant it. I used to be a lot more outgoing. Hiding behind a façade until it got too tiring.

“Oh… Good. Well, thank you, sweetie.”

After washing up, Pax went to the fridge. Probably checking out the last remains of fresh fruit. Kate went back to the kitchen, most likely to continue working in the garden.

Joseph walked past me. But he stopped soon after.

“Uh, Six?” He seemed worried.

“Yeah?”

“I believe you, um, about the noises I mean… I’ve been hearing weird noises from the vents in the boys’ room.”

“What kind of noises?” I was getting worried.

“Like… groans-“ Jo looked down to his feet “- and scratches. Sometimes… Sometimes it sounds like someone’s suffocating.”

The hairs on my neck raised. A shiver, cold and shocking, went down my spine.

“It… It can’t just be rats right?”

I swallowed my spit, My throat suddenly dry.

“Joseph, tell your mom and Harvey about this, okay? Even if they think it’s nonsense. You’ve got to convince them somehow.”

Joseph paled, maybe he finally realized how dire that sounded.

“Y-yeah,” was all he said when he all but sprinted towards the boiler room. Most likely to find Harvey.

I continued towards the fridge room in the kitchen.

“God damn list” I heard mutterings.

Ironically it seemed the fridge had not cooled Pax’s mood. Pax was leaning over one of the crates in the fridge room. He was cursing and grumbling over a list displayed over the crate.

“Uh, Pax?”

Pax whipped his head towards me, evidently surprised. He looked tired and frustrated. But his eyes lit up when he saw me.

“Oh! What’s up, beanstalk?”

Ignoring his dumb nickname. I studied the room, there wasn’t much. Most of the fresh produce was gone. An apple or a pear here and there.

“Your mom thought it was best if I switched with your brother,” I replied.

“Ah, yeah. Probably for the best.”

The air was dry and cold and the atmosphere extremely awkward.

“Look, I’m sorry about that by the way. You shouldn’t have to be in between this… family drama, you know?”

Pax seemed almost ashamed at his outburst earlier. He was looking at anything except me. Absentmindedly clicking an ink pen.

“It’s okay. But… What happened? You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”

Pax sighed. His eyes were conflicted and glossy. He was quiet for a couple of seconds.

“It’s… It’s just that Jo… Jo has a tendency to be stuck-up.-“ he grimaced at the lack of a better word “-He constantly does everything by the book and tries to act ‘older’, I guess.”

“Oh. Do you know why?”

“Well, if it isn’t obvious-“ Pax chuckled self-detrimentally “-My dad, our dad, isn’t in the picture. Jo barely remembers him but ever since he left. I’ve had to help mom out with working and stuff, you know? I never got to have that careless childhood and I want Jo to have that but for some reason, he’s obsessed with growing up!”

By the end of Pax’s rant, he was out of breath and red. But he seemed calmer and more relaxed. I sighed and tried to find the best way to word my next sentence.

“I don’t know your brother that well and I can only think from my own experience but… Maybe he wants to carry a part of that burden you’ve been carrying by yourself?”

“Oh… I… I didn’t think about that.”

“You might not realize it, Pax. But you’re, like, Jo’s idol. He’s probably worried that he’s being a burden.”

“But he’s not! He’s my lil bro, he could never,” Pax exclaimed.

I chuckled a bit. I guess this is how it feels to have a sibling. A sort of love-hate relationship where you hate their guts but know they’ll have your back.

“Six… Thank you, truly. You’ve given me a lot to think about.”

I smiled and nodded. The tense air fizzled out and instead, a comfortable, warm, and almost intimate feeling washed over us.

By the end of the workday, we had gone through both the freezer and fridge rooms. Dinner was silent, but both the boys seemed eager to apologize.

“For the love of Jesus H. Christ. One of you boys better say something before I make you!”

Harvey was seemingly tired of the atmosphere. Kate and I chuckled as both Pax and Jo turned bright red.

“Uh, Jo, sorry about calling you a pain in my ass.”

“Mm, thanks, and sorry for saying fuck you.”

“It seems like the two of you got a lot to talk about,” Kate spoke up.

The boys nodded, and albeit a bit ashamed, Pax looked at me. His eyes brimming with gratitude as he mouthed a “thank you”.

The rest of the dinner was spent with the occasional small talk or joke.

After washing up we all decided to turn in for the night.

“Six, I’m sorry. I tried to convince them but they wouldn’t believe me. I guess they still think I’m a baby or something.”

Jo finished his sentence with a mumble. Clearly by the disregard of his warnings.

“I think they just don’t want to scare anyone. Or themselves. There’s nothing wrong with being younger, you know? There’s a lot you will miss when you get older.”

Joseph didn’t seem that convinced.

“I don’t know,” he trailed off.

“Let’s go to bed and we’ll talk about it tomorrow, okay?”

Jo only nodded and headed towards the boys’ bunkroom.

That night I slept terribly. Flashes of “The Incident” plaguing my dreams, The blood rising in the streets until I’m drowning in it.

I had nowhere to hide. To run.

Abruptly I hear a scream. It sounds like Kate. Only I’m no longer dreaming. What followed the scream was chaos.

Harvey ran into my room, grabbed my arm, and practically dragged me out of my room.

“What’s going on?!”

“I hate to admit it kid but you were right. We’re being invaded. Go to the kitchen and help Pax and Jo grab as much conserved food as you can. Don’t forget first aid stuff. Kate and I will hold them off!”

I hear a groan from the boiler room

“Now, Six!”

I stumbled as I sprinted into the kitchen. Pax and Jo were already quickly packing canned food and bandages, amongst other things, into five backpacks.

“What the hell is going on?!”

“Well seems like my theory about zombies wasn’t off, Pax replied.

“Oh fuck.”

“My thoughts exactly.”

Suddenly I hear gunfire. I flinched but grabbed one of the backpacks and started packing.

Kate unexpectedly appeared in the kitchen, her face bloody and a shotgun in her hands.

“Jesus, mom!”

“Shut it, Paxton, we’re outnumbered. Harvey and I have barricaded the boiler room and hallway. Better get ready with the backpacks!”

Harvey soon appeared and grabbed one of the backpacks, in his other hand he had a hunting rifle.

“Alright kiddos, let’s get out of here,” he shouted.

A sudden crash and boom were heard, followed by shuffling and groans.

“Well that was the barricade in the boiler room,” Kate said.

We all rushed to the entrance and I quickly grabbed a fire axe.

“It’s stuck!”

Pax and Jog tugged on the large handle to the entrance. But it wouldn’t budge. Kate and I stood guard as Harvey tried to help out.

The banging and clambering got louder and louder.

“Anytime is fine, boys!”

Kate shouted. She was pale, anxiously gripping her shotgun.

“I think I’ve got something,” Harvey says and starts rooting through his leather jacket. He pulls out some anti-rust oil. He dumped all the contents on the handle and pushed me towards the entrance.

“Stay back, kiddo. Things are about to get ugly.”

Pax had found a bat and Jo a skateboard. Maybe not the best weapon but it would do.

“When should the handle let up?” Jo asked while shaking.

“I don’t know. But keep trying the handle,” Harvey replied.

The bangs were almost deafening now. The panic started to slowly sink in.

I am going to die here. Forgotten.

Harvey suddenly grabbed my hand. He looked into my eyes with a fiery determination.

“You ain’t gon’ die here, kid! You hear me?”

His accent got thicker as the tensions grew.

Then all hell broke loose. Almost literally. The last barricade broke and in swarmed tens of barely human-looking figures. The stench that followed could best be described as burnt flesh, ammonia, and an almost fruity undertone.

I’m not sure I will be able to drink juice ever again.

The next minutes are a blur. Bodies thunking to the ground. Harvey shouts something while shooting and Pax replies. I go on autopilot after that. Hitting, swinging, and kicking against anything that smelled like a public bathroom. While desperately trying to ignore the bile collecting in my throat and my eyes watering.

Before I knew it, I was on the ground. A large rotting figure on top of me. The only thing separating us was the handle of the axe, currently stuck in the monster’s mouth. Harvey and Kate were swamped. Pax is busy keeping Jo safe as Jo desperately tries to open the entrance. That’s when I finally believe that this is where I’m going to die. The strength in my arm’s veining.

But a gunshot is heard, but it sounds different from before. The figure on top of me slumps. I look up and two people stand at the entrance. One was Mexican with long, dark brown hair separated by half buns and ending in one half-bun, half-ponytail. They had an eyebrow piercing in their left eyebrow and a nosering in their right nostril. They had a pretty dahlia flower tattooed on their neck. It certainly didn’t match their smug expression.

The other person was black. They had dark dreadlocks pulled into a ponytail. They had a blue kerchief tied around their head. A large scar, thicker at the right of their chin and thinning out right under their eye. Their expression was the opposite of the Mexican person's. They were rather stoic.

“We heard you guys, figured you had a pest problem!”

The Mexican person laughed.

TAGLIST

@saltofmercury

#apocalypse #my ocs #ocs #original character #original story #post apocalyptic #world past six

[lorirwritesfanfic]

Missed Chance

Book: Perfect Match Pairing: M!Hayden Young x F!MC (Natasha) Rating: T Word count: 1032 Reading time: ~4min Summary: The saying "when one door closes, another window opens" will never be as meaninful to Hayden as it is tonight. Based on the prompts: @haydenyoungappreciationweek​: wedding / Walking After You

Author's note: - This wasn't the fic I planned to write. That one went to the "whenever my muse cooperates" folder. But for some reason, my best Hayden fics are the ones I write in one sitting and I think this is one of them; - This story happens right after the events of Because Of Him. But if you didn't read it, you won't find any issues reading this one, - Natasha Park is a creation of this author. The other characters are owned by Pixelberry Studios.

Hayden's mouth goes dry as he picks up his phone from Sloane's hand and goes to a quiet corner. He planned every single thing about Natasha's birthday dinner: the decoration, the menu, her birthday cake, the right spot, his speech... But when Dipper swallowed the slice of cake along the engagement ring, he was certain he had missed his chance. Until now.

"Babe? Are you there?" Natasha's voice calls him back to reality.

"Yeah, I am..."

"Were you really going to propose tonight?"

"I was."

"In front of everyone?"

"No."

As she sighs in relief, he nods in understanding. Natasha may be an extrovert, but he knows she wouldn't be comfortable with a proposal made in front of everyone. The last thing he wanted was to make her feel pressured to say yes.

"So when were you planning on doing it?"

"As soon as you returned to our table outside."

"The balcony!" She blurts. "That's why you suggested we had cake there!"

He smiles softly. "Yeah... When you left to freshen up, I got distracted while talking to Mrs Park about the ring. Before we knew it, Dipper had finished your slice of cake and started mine."

"Aw..." She chuckles. "So Sloane knew. My mom knows. Jalila and dad obviously know it too. Mom would never keep it to herself."

"Jalila said that too."

Both of them chuckle in response.

"Anyone else?"

"Nadia and Steve."

"Wow... You really would've proposed by now if Dipper didn't eat the cake."

"I would..."

He shoves his free hand into his pocket. He did miss his shot. Some other night, maybe... If he didn't feel like crawling into a hole somewhere and never leaving there.

"So, are you staying there all night?"

"I think so."

"Why? Dipper is resting. And so should you."

His hand rubs the back of his neck.

"I know you feel like you have to stay with Dipper, but what else are you going to do there except tiring yourself out? She's okay. And she will need you well-rested tomorrow."

"But what if something happens?"

"They'll call us and we'll be there."

"Nat..."

"Come home, babe. We'll pick her up in the morning."

Though his hesitation to go back home has nothing to do with Dipper, Natasha has a point. It wouldn't make sense for him or Sloane to stay at the vet all night.

"Alright... I'll call Sloane and get us a Lyft."

"Okay. See you soon?"

"Sure... See you soon."

Patting himself to find the keys, Hayden walks toward his apartment and fights back a yawn. His eyes scan the front door. All lights are off. Most likely, Natasha already went to bed.

Hayden let out a sigh. It was a tiring night and she did stay at home cleaning up and rearranging everything by herself after he rushed to the veterinary hospital. Maybe it's for the best. He wouldn't know how to face her now that she knows his intentions, but didn't give him any clue if she wanted the same.

Once he finally gets the keys and opens the door, his eyes widen. Candles light up a path of white and pink petals towards the balcony. He follows the path and stops in his tracks. Sitting on the same spot he meticulously arranged hours earlier to make the proposal, Natasha beams as one of his favorite songs plays in the background.

"Just so you know, I'm wearing my nicest lingerie and I look freaking hot under this blanket. But this chilly wind isn't helping."

Hayden laughs. "What are you still doing out here, babe? I thought you were asleep."

"I couldn't sleep."

"Why not?"

"I heard you have an important question to ask me tonight."

His heart races in his chest and his mouth goes dry again. He was so caught up in the idea of surprising her with a proposal that he failed to see he never missed his chance.

"I don't know if you're coming up with another plan to surprise me, but I don't want to wait until then."

As their eyes meet, Hayden breaks into a smile. Has he ever felt this nervous and happy before?

"Why are you still standing there, silly? Come here!" She whines, feigning impatience.

Chuckling, he saunters over and kneels before her.

"Oh! You are doing it now."

"You said you couldn't wait..." He offers his hand for her to take and grins as she places it on his.

Her hand feels cool, but a bit sweaty to the touch. She is as nervous as he is. But the joy in her eyes gives him the strength to keep going.

"I've rehearsed this so many times in the mirror, in my head... But as I kneel here before you, I don't know how to begin. You leave me breathless, Nat. There's always something about you that astounds me, something that makes me smile..."

Her grin widens as her eyes begin to well up.

"I know I was created to your perfect match. And as I began to change, you asked me if I’d still love you. Here's your answer: I do. I don't think anyone who built me knew that I'd fall in love with you over and over again. But after all these years, I still love you. And I have no doubts I wouldn't be who I am today if I wasn't yours."  

Hayden reaches for the Tiffany cut diamond ring in his coat pocket and shows it to her.

"Natasha Lamya Park, will you marry me?"

Tears stream down her face as she beams. "Yes."

With that, Hayden places the ring on her finger and they stood up together. He brushes her tears away with his thumb and presses his lips to hers. Though kissing her became something like a daily activity his days couldn't begin or end without, this kiss feels different. There's more than passion to it. With it, comes hope and a certainty that she'll be with him for good.

As they pull apart, he holds his fiancee close, as she wraps the blanket around them.

"You weren't joking about looking hot under the blanket. That's a very sheer nightgown, babe," he teases as his eyes glance down at her breasts nearly popping out of the purple lace and silk gown.

"I can't say I feel hot though. My butt is freezing!"

The couple doubled over.

"How about we go back inside and begin our celebration in the bedroom?"

"Yes, thank you."

Still holding on to each other, Hayden and Natasha walk back inside and head toward the master bedroom.

#choices fanfiction #perfect match #hayden young #m!hayden x f!mc #haydenyoungappreciationweek #haydenyoungappreciationday #hyad: wedding #lorirwritesfanfic #lorircreates

[bi-bard]

And I Lost You - Jake Imagine (Sweetbitter)

Title: And I Lost You

Pairing: Jake (Sweetbitter) X Reader

Based On: Maroon

Word Count: 1,970 words

Warning(s): cheating, yelling

Summary: Jake finally felt like he had a shot at something normal when he and (Y/n) got together. However, old habits die hard, and Jake's choices may just ruin things forever.

Author's Note: This was the second to last imagine to be decided on.

MIDNIGHTS - TAYLOR SWIFT WRITING CHALLENGE MASTERLIST

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If they could go back in time, then (Y/n) would've probably decided to ignore Jake completely.

It's what they had been warned to do anyways. Something about him not being a "safe" choice for anyone.

But (Y/n) was trusting back then. They saw a dark, brooding bartender and still tried to become friendly with him. Ignored how he waved them off so simply. It wasn't that (Y/n) ignored red flags, they simply didn't know what they looked like.

Jake hadn't meant to start anything with (Y/n). He simply hadn't been looking for anything with anyone. He didn't know what to do when he found himself grinning at the thought of them or treating them better than he treated anyone else.

To be completely honest, he felt like an idiot at first. Like some kid in school following their crush around like a lovesick puppy.

But time went on. The pair became friends. Jake became protective. (Y/n) began to push him into being just a bit softer with people.

Jake felt like he was going crazy.

(Y/n) was so entirely unaware of how much of an effect they had on him. He felt almost sick watching them give their undivided attention to some other guys. He could feel how he'd soften every time he spoke to them. He felt stupid butterflies during the movie night (Y/n) had talked him into and almost blushed whenever (Y/n) would offer him any form of compliment.

He was certain they had to know. Somewhere in their mind was some calculated plan. But as time went on, he realized that they truly had no clue. His response to their very basic kindness and friendship was to fall head over heels.

He had enough after a shift one night.

He walked into the small staff room to see (Y/n) already set to head home. He grinned a bit. They just looked so... comfortable.

"Hey," (Y/n) said when he leaned on the locker next to theirs. "How's your night been? Mine's been exhausting."

"It's been alright," he shrugged. "Normal."

(Y/n) nodded before going to check that they had everything they needed in the little backpack that they always brought with them.

Jake took a deep breath to settle his nerves. Nerves. He was nervous with them. It felt like he had taken a step backward somehow.

"(Y/n)."

They hummed as they zipped their bag, going to look at him. When he paused, they spoke up, "Jake?"

He moved, standing up straight before cupping the sides of their face and pressing his lips to theirs. It wasn't rushed. Not at all. The whole moment felt like it had been in slow motion, allowing (Y/n) any chance to stop him or back out.

They didn't.

Their hands reached out and touched Jake's sides. Jake was convinced that he felt a shock in his sides, but he didn't acknowledge it. He just continued kissing them, savoring the moment they started kissing him back.

He leaned back first, feeling almost overwhelmed with the moment they shared. He let go of them, going back to leaning against the locker. In a matter of seconds, he missed having (Y/n)'s hands touching him.

"What was that for," (Y/n) asked, chuckling a little over the suddenness.

"I just... wanted to," Jake replied. "Was it okay?"

"Yeah," they muttered, nodding and putting their backpack on. There was this little grin on their face. It made Jake grin back.

"Go to dinner with me," he said. "Please."

(Y/n)'s smile only got wider. "Right now?"

"Sure. We'll find a place."

(Y/n) nodded.

That night was the beginning of a road that neither part of the pair could've planned for.

Jake had never truly imagined how much he could value the soft moments. He held (Y/n) at the end of the day with a soft smile. He found himself falling deeper and deeper as (Y/n) kissed him and touched his hands and held him at night. Every compliment and pet name and kiss to his cheek or forehead or neck sat in his heart the way air does in a hot air balloon. Lighter, not heavier.

(Y/n) saw the distinct changes. Jake's willingness for soft, gentle affection. No rushing or roughness to it. He held them like a piece of art someone placed in his hands. His kisses sent (Y/n) spiraling, melting into him as if he had never kissed them before.

But no relationship can go on forever with no bumps.

And their bump was a big one.

Simone.

It took (Y/n) weeks to bring up the situation with Simone. Jake wasn't sure if he could've known that they had found out about that situation. He wasn't sure how they knew, but he wasn't surprised that it had happened.

They were lying in (Y/n)'s bed. Jake had found himself studying every part of (Y/n)'s face while (Y/n) built up the courage to discuss the most vulnerable part of Jake's life.

"Can we talk about Simone," they finally asked, feeling like their heart was ready to jump out of their throat.

"What about Simone," Jake replied. He wanted to believe it would be some work situation. Something that could be easily waved off.

"You two... you two have history, right?"

Jake could've chuckled. History was putting it lightly. "Yeah, we do."

"Do you... Do you two still... y'know?"

"Fuck each other?"

"To put it bluntly."

Jake paused. "Not often."

(Y/n) couldn't ignore that.

Jake saw how their face twisted into one of discomfort. His eyebrows furrowed at them. That made (Y/n) feel worse. How fucked was his view of what was happening there?

"If- If we are going to be a couple, then I... I don't think I'm going to be comfortable with that continuing to happen," (Y/n) managed to stammer out, feeling ready to vomit up a lung.

Jake's silence after just made (Y/n) stomach churn even more.

They were ready to ramble out some reasoning but were stopped before any words could make it out.

"Okay," he replied. So simple.

"Okay?"

He nodded before leaning forward and kissing them gently. It only lasted a few moments. "I want to be with you. It's that simple."

"Really?"

"Yes," he nodded again.

(Y/n) leaned over and kissed him again. It wasn't as gentle as the first kiss that night. It made Jake chuckle against (Y/n)'s lips, pulling them closer to him.

'It's that simple.'

(Y/n) clung to that sentence tighter than they should have.

The pair continued on with their relationship. Happy moments and nights together. Date nights and simply normal relationship things.

By all means, (Y/n) and Jake were happy together.

(Y/n) firmly believed that the two of them were happy and committed to each other. They wanted to trust Jake. Believe that he meant well.

They even had a key to his place.

That was good.

It was supposed to be.

(Y/n) had gone over after work. Jake had left before them, not that they knew why. They wish they had. It would've saved (Y/n) a lot of embarrassment.

(Y/n) has since decided that no sound could make them as sick as they were when they walked into Jake's apart and heard moaning from the door.

Their mind wanted to excuse it. Porn. They could handle it if it was porn.

But this sound wasn't coming through a speaker. It was too clear. Too loud. Too real.

(Y/n)'s heart was a rock.

With a calm nature that would terrify anyone, (Y/n) placed their set of Jake's keys onto the table and walked out again. They knew who he was with, there was no point in confronting him now.

(Y/n)'s only moment of rage came when they shut the door. They made sure the sound echoed in their mind before letting go of the handle and walking away.

That night was spent on (Y/n)'s couch. Waiting for the emotions to hit all at once. Anger, disappointment, sadness, longing. (Y/n) was just waiting, almost catatonic. Eyes glazed over, waiting for the tears to feel worthy enough to drop.

This was the only time (Y/n) craved to know why.

Because maybe if they got that answer, falling apart would be easier. Once they fell apart, (Y/n) could put themself back together and move on. Pretend Jake and Simone don't exist, meet a nice person that respects them, and finally stop trying to fix the wing of every wounded bird they wandered across.

Jake showed up at their door that night.

He found the keys on the table. There was this key chain. A small little Peter Pan keychain that (Y/n) bought so they wouldn't mix up sets. He made jokes about it at the time, but now... now he held it so tight in his palm that the left an etching in his skin. Deep in his chest, he knew... he couldn't reverse what he had just done.

But he would be damned if he didn't try.

He had planned on knocking but knew (Y/n) wouldn't have answered if he did. So, he used the key they had offered him.

(Y/n) sat up as they heard the door open.

The blank look on their face made Jake deflate a bit.

"I hope you're only here to drop off my keys," they said simply, standing up and circling the couch.

"I'm here to talk-"

"It was Simone, right?"

He stopped.

"I'm right, aren't I?"

He nodded.

"Leave your keys and go."

"I love you," Jake said, stepping toward them. (Y/n) stepped back.

"No, you don't. Someone who loved me wouldn't have lied to me. Especially, not about that."

"I chose to be with you-"

"No, you didn't!"

The yelling would've caught Jake off-guard in any other circumstance, but his determination to win them back seemed to take precedence over that feeling.

"Yes, I did. What happened tonight was a one-time thing. A lapse in judgment-"

"Oh, shut up!"

He stopped.

"It doesn't matter if this happened once or if you've been lying to me since I asked you... it doesn't matter. You crossed a line, Jake. A very serious line. This wasn't being late for dinner or forgetting an event."

"You really can't understand how someone can make a mistake," his voice was raising too. He knew he shouldn't have let it, but he couldn't stop it. "We can move past this because we love each other. I love you. I chose you-"

"If you loved me, chose me, then I wouldn't have caught you with your dick in her!"

The room went silent after that sentence came out. Mostly because Jake had no defense for that. There was nothing that he could say that would truly change what had happened or convince them that he did love them.

(Y/n) took a deep breath. "I need you to go. Now."

"(Y/n)-"

"Jake, go," I snapped. "I told you... warned you. I set that boundary. You agreed to stick to it. Then, you crossed it. I want you to go."

(Y/n) stepped away from the conversation, going to sit on the small couch that allowed them to face away from him.

They leaned their arm on the arm of the couch, resting their chin on their hand. They knew if they kept looking at him, they'd crumble. They didn't want their breakdown to offer some kind of open door to him.

"I... I'm sorry," Jake muttered.

(Y/n) didn't respond. They just closed their eyes and waited to hear the door open and close. They finally let the sob that had been sitting in their throat come out.

They felt stupid.

They should've known better.

Jake wasn't a person who was going to change just because there was finally something normal in his life. He needed help. Serious help.

(Y/n) just had to accept that they couldn't have provided that help if they tried.

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JAKE [SWEETBITTER] TAG LIST: @true-queen-of-mischief

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Author's Note: See also: "Should've Said No" by Taylor Swift

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#jake sweetbitter fanfiction #jake sweetbitter imagine #jake sweetbitter x reader #jake fanfiction #jake imagine #jake x reader #sweetbitter imagine #sweetbitter x reader #sweetbitter fanfiction #imagine #fanfiction #x reader

[elenavr13]

The Beginning of the Horror

Darkiplier x Reader (not DA)

Warning: None

*Y/n is a part the film/production crew Wilford works with. For one of Wil’s productions, he involves one of his “old friends”, Darkiplier. They take residence in Dark’s mansion for the time being. Unbeknownst to  Y/n, a certain entity has been watching them & listening to them talk to themselves about horror books & movies for the past week.*

*Playlist: Baby, You’re a Haunted House- Gerard Way, You’re So Creepy- Ghost Town, Nervous- Lola Blanc*

Y/N’S POV

The library is the perfect place for an introvert to avoid people. Everyone else wants to party & be loud. I’m not completely opposed to that sort of behavior but I prefer someplace quiet like the library which no one seems interested in. They would rather have their faces in their phones, games, & TV instead of a book. Oh well, their loss. Luckily, Wilford doesn’t require my attendance to his “mini parties”. If he needs me, he can text me but I know he isn’t going to for the rest of the night; we completed everything we needed for today. The rest of the day is just down time which I personally spend in the old, dark academia, book-shelved room.

Words from the slightly yellowed paper paint a scene in my mind as my eyes travel over the text. The scene is one from The Woman in Black. I watched the movie when I was little which is why the title caught my attention. I couldn’t recall much from the movie but it had unsettled me then so I hope the story could still deliver that scare factor now that I was older & could understand more of the tragedy.

The book weighs in my hands as I sit on the velvety, Victorian, claret-colored loveseat. My imagination suddenly halts when my left ear perceives a low purr. The hum sends a cold shiver down my spine for a split second. Playing it as my mind messing with me since I am reading a horror book, I expect to see nothing so when I look over my shoulder & come face to face with Dark instead of emptiness, I jump.

A small chuckle escapes his lips. “I was beginning to think you were incapable of getting scared. I guess I’m more frightening than all the serial killers & supernatural poltergeists you read about.” He creeps around the corner of the small couch & takes a seat on the open space about half a foot away from me. I straighten my posture right before my body becomes stiff. I don’t know how to act around Dark. I never really interacted with him, then again, neither has anyone else. The little space between us doesn’t help my nervousness either. I have grown unaccustomed to any physical contact or close proximity with anyone excluding Wilford. Dark’s approach definitely catches me by surprise. I figure it would be rude to stand up or move to another seat so I remain seated & push my anxiousness to the back of my mind.

“What do you mean by ‘incapable of getting scared’? I am too capable of feeling fear & dread.” I question. Yeah, I don’t get scared easily but how do you know that? I never told you.

“Well, you sure don’t show it. You read & watch all these horrifying, morbid tales like they’re nothing. Instead you predict them, laugh at them, & correct all the characters’ mistakes even the murderer’s.” How do you know all this? I don’t have the slightest clue who you are yet you seems to know me fairly well. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you had experience in homicide.” A huff of air escapes my mouth. I want to laugh at his last statement but his assessment of me distracts me from humor.

“How do you know all this?”

“You come in here every day after dinner or just whenever you have down time including late into the night to search the shelves, find a horror book, & read it. If I’m not mistaken, you are on your sixth book now. You also watch short horror films on your phone if you don’t want to read. It’s not too hard to know your view on the stories considering you talk to yourself & the characters.”

“You could just say you were stalking me.” My lips form into a smile. I shouldn’t enjoy the fact that someone finds me interesting enough to stalk especially because I have read enough stalking stories to know that they never end well, but I do.

“I wouldn’t necessarily call it ‘stalking’. This is my house & you are a guest. I am only making sure you don’t break anything.”

“I guess that makes sense, although, I think it’s more of the others who would break something.”

“Yes, but you are the one who goes off on your own. Don’t think I trust you as much as Wilford does.” We both smile.

There is a moment of silence before I speak again. “I’ve only been here for a little over a week & you’ve picked up that much?”

He smirks & shifts his body so he is completely facing me. His fingers interlace together & he leans back into the corner of the furniture. Black, ebony eyes look me up & down. If I wasn’t completely self-conscious before, I definitely am now. “How long do you think I was behind you for?”

“Maybe a minute or two.” His smirk grows wider.

“Guess again.” Dread fills my chest. Do I really want to know this answer?

“I-I don’t know.” I don’t want to guess again. If I guess something big, he will laugh but I also don’t want to go up by increments of five or ten if it is big. He remained quiet, waiting for a real answer. “5 minutes?” He shook his head. “10?” He drew circles in the air with his pointer finger. “20?”

“Give or take a few minutes but yeah.” He laughs. His genuine smile complements his face well. To be honest, he is pretty attractive. His obsidian eyes, smokey black hair &, deep bass voice captivate me. His blue & red aura accentuates his pale complexion while his lead grey, form-fitting suit enhances his charm & handsomeness. It doesn’t matter what I think though, this interaction will most likely just be a onetime thing. Even if we do get close, we probably won’t keep contact once this production is finished. As soon as I don’t see or work with whoever it is, no matter what kind of relationship I have with them, they forget & replace me. That is just my life. “Do you really not scare easily?” His voice snaps my out of my trance.

“Uh, I-I don’t. I’m not sure why but I don’t. It doesn’t matter what I read or watch or hear; nothing really scares me. & when something does, I obsess over it so much that I become desensitized to it.”

“Like what?”

“Oh, uh…abandoned amusement parks. I guess those never really creeped me out but I just love the aesthetic & ominous, eerie atmosphere of them. Oh, & submechanophobia which is the fear of partially or fully submerged man-made things but, specifically submechanophobia with animatronics. I mean, looking at them is fine but imagining if they break down & you have to go into the water to fix them or if you fall in the water while you’re on a ride or something…you can’t see the gears or anything underwater so…” I let out a small laugh. “I still like them & they are still disturbing. It’s just that they no longer incite the same reaction as the first time I saw it.” Once I come back from my rambling, his stunning eyes pierce mine, inducing my vision to dart to the book resting in my lap. With his arms crossed across his chest, his attention remains trained on me, intently studying me. I read stories ranging from unsettling: a poltergeist that just disturbs a family, to bloodcurdling: a heinous serial killer playing with their victim before gruesomely ripping them apart. None have ever sent a chill down my spine just as much as this situation has. Dark’s undivided attention on me tops any horror story I have or will ever read.

#darkiplier #darkiplier x reader #darkiplier x y/n #markiplier ego x reader #youtube ego #reader insert #markiplier