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#and dont even get me started on the birthday messages. LIKE. I WAS SO. I CANT EVEN EXPLAIN
babypetri · 2 months
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I miss sending funny videos to my friends
#you may think petri whats stopping you#not anxiety for once#because i dont get the same effort from them#i feel like they dont care#im not their part of life anymore#while yes i did go silence for weeks but that was because i was overwhelmed and socializing was too much#i barely talked with my family and i forces myself for it i didnt want to worry them#i had trouble sleeping a brain that wont shut up i cried at nights i feel terrible#i told them i had hard time socializing send messages was too much i stop going on the internet even#but i got kinda get better i guess and everything back to normal then oneday they no longer talked#i wished them birtday they say thanks#i wish happy whatever holiday pr special day it is#but they dont text unless i texted first#while i understand all of us are busy but how much time its gonna take for someone to wish their friend happy birthday#just a simple message would be enough#but none came#i put reminders that starting ro remind me their birthday days before just so i can at least wish them happy birthday#wanting a simple “happy birthday petri” message is too much i guess#twice they do the same and im no longer talking yo them#well except the one friend i made at university we talking time to time#and she wishes me happy birthday even if late because her own life is kinda too much going on#she was so sorry that she missed my birthday but that was fine i got one friend that remembers#i would send her but she dont get to same jokes as my older friends#also last time we had english she was not okay with it?#oh great im getting sad again at night again
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joonsytip · 1 year
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Anonymously Yours || Joshua Hong
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Pairings: Joshua x Fem!Reader Genre: Fluff, Angst, Humour (broken coz mine), high school au, enemies to lovers au, strangers to lovers au, anonymously yours au. Synopsis: After an accidental text message turns into a digital friendship, you and Joshua start crushing on each other without realizing you both see each other frequently in real life. Notable Mention: You both hate each other's guts.... Word Count: 18.6k Inspired By: Mexican Flick - Anonymous yours. Warnings: profanities, Joshua acts dumb one big time, mentions of periods, tears and tears but mostly fluffy, protagonists don't know how to act around each other (lmk if I missed any) Banner credits to my baby @wannabeyourshua . Also, it's your birthday present from me, hope you like it! Taglist: @wannabeyourshua @hoeforhao @kimmych @chocolatekdramakpopfreak @starlight-night0 @alyssng @imsjane @i-dont-give-a-fok @gaebestie @meowmeowminnie @hanniehaeism
Please heart, comment and reblog, would really help to keep me going <3
[SVT Flick : Fic Masterlist] [SVT Masterlist]
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Unknown Number:
[3:05 AM] Hey!
It was great meeting you! Maybe we should meet again sometime soon :)
What do you think?
You:
[3:09 AM] It's 3am for god's sake???
You got the wrong number!
Unknown Number:
[3:10 AM] Haha, not funny! It's me.
You gave me your number at the party :(
[3:12 AM] They gave you the wrong number obviously.
Now stop right there & let me sleep!!!
The blaring sound of the alarm is hurting your ears and adding to your headache.
"Ugh, I can't even sleep without getting interrupted.", you groan but manage to lift your body to do two trivial things. One, stopping that goddamn alarm. Two, checking your phone.
8 AM. The time glares back at you.
You have a class at 9, well assignment submission to be more precise and you're still in your bed, half awake, half grumpy.
Next half an hour goes in a blur as you gobble down your breakfast and smoothie that your mother makes daily, it's almost like a tradition and good part is that you don't hate it. The only bad part is that the same conversation that follows everyday of them insisting you to join the family business and you dismissing them because you have a passion that you want to turn into profession.
Currently you're waiting for your best friend, Hyerin, who's never not late to pick you up.
Some insights on Hyerin, she's your best friend, have been your friend since when you knew could pronounce that term. She's pretty, easy going, quite popular and star player of the school's tennis team.
Hyerin Calling....
You don't have to pick up that call so rather you are running straight down the block knowing that she's waiting there with her jeep.
"Babe, I'm late because of her.", she says as she points at her younger sister, Hyejoo who is seated in the backseat.
"I admit. But you know the other 99 times of 100, we're late because of whom", she immediately quips back in her defense.
You roll your eyes, bored of their banter and turn on the radio to have a vibe to jam to till you the reach the school.
As soon as you cross the threshold of the school, Hyerin is hijacked by Jeonghan, her tennis partner and Hyejoo situates herself with basketball teammates when she spots them.
And you're left alone.
And you're used to it.
The final bells rings indicating that you should be now sprinting to the class to avoid the grudges of your literature teacher.
You are with your full concentration tangling the wires of your earphones around the phone while climbing up the stairs when you suddenly bump into someone.
Your head whips up to see the other person, glaring at you having his shirt stained in coffee which he was supposed to drink.
"Sorry, very sorry", you take out your handkerchief and just as try to dap on the shirt, that person backs away.
"Please give your number, I'll pay for the dry cleaning.", you say politely.
"No need, I can pay for myself", that person grumbles, "Do me favour and from next time keep your eyes open while walking."
He says and walks away leaving you speechless and infuriated.
"What an ass, I was trying to nice.", you mutter before sprinting to the class.
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Joshua is already having a bad day so when the only thing he was looking forward to, coffee from his favourite café got spilled on his shirt because of some girl who can't walk straight, he is vexed.
Fortunately, he doesn't have classes within next hour so he goes straight to basketball ground. He has been enrolled into this high school recently so he has no friends, neither he intends to make any.
He fishes out his phone and taps on a contact who's name he doesn't know and proceeds to send a text.
Joshua:
[9:35 AM] Hey, sorry for waking you up last night.
Stranger:
[9:36 AM] No worries, I fell asleep right back.
Joshua:
A heavy sleeper it seems lol.
Stranger:
[9:37 AM] You can say that. And whoever did this to you is so mean, they could have told you no instead of doing this.
Joshua:
[9:37 AM] Ikr. I was at this party last night when my best friend insisted me to ask her number coz according to him I was checking her out.
Stranger:
[9:40 AM] Didn't work out for you :(
"Hey cutie, are you new here?", Joshua who is now quietly watching the match is called out by Hyejoo.
"I am.", he responds right away.
"Wanna play with us?", Hyejoo asks twirling the ball on her index, a sly smile set on her lips.
"Yes.", Joshua simply says and jogs down to the play arena.
"Before we get started, I'm hosting a party today and you're invited.", Hyejoo says, her expecting eyes staring at him.
"Thanks for the invite but sorry I won't be attending.", Joshua replies and extends his hand, asking for the ball.
Hyejoo immediately backs down, tossing the ball , "Then you don't get to play."
"What?", Joshua's face twists in a mix of confusion and rage.
"You heard it right.", Hyejoo taunts him further.
"Are you being serious?", Joshua chuckles in disbelief, "Such a spoilt brat."
Hearing this, Hyejoo's friend Jisung walks upto him and grabs his collar in aggression, "What did you say?"
"Exactly what you heard. You're her bodyguard or what?", Joshua smirks.
And the next second a hard punch lands on his face. Just as he was about to retort the sports coach shouts, "The group over there, you're all going for detention."
A series of groans are heard.
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You look around in utter disappointment. Well, detention room could and should never be appealing to anyone.
It's your fault you're here because you couldn't cure your curiosity when you saw a text from the familiar unknown number and your hands immediately to had respond back even after getting two warnings from the teacher.
Sitting idle never does you good, so you deck your bag on the desk which is going to act as a makeshift pillow and next you rest your head on it.
Joshua enters the room and the first person he spots is you, who had deprived him the privilege of drinking morning coffee.
With a scowl set on his face, he walks past you and sits on the corner most seat.
Next, a smile plasters on his face as he takes out his phone goes through the conversation between him and the stranger.
Mrs. Yoo walks in with all her glory knowing she's very much despised by the students not because she's an ass of a person but for her detention projects she puts everyone through.
You heave a sigh, unbothered to greet the teacher.
Her heels clanks sharply against the floor as she walks to the teacher's desk and taps her finely manicured nail against the table with a sickening sweet smile plastered on her face, sweet enough to make everyone else present in the room barf out.
"I'll get to the point straight. Block your calendars for Saturdays & Sunday, 2 to 5, every week.", she orders, unphased by the string of protests coming in.
You exchange glances with Hyejoo, who looks equally terrified.
"But I have classes", you speak up, "And I guess everyone has some or other sort of commitments as well."
"That's for you and everyone else to manage. Should have thought before.", she points her eyes at you and moves on, "I'll create a gc and add everyone of you. So the venue of next meetup will be shared across. And I want full attendance.", her voice holds the authority and every single being present there knows that they would be attending otherwise the wrath of Mrs. Yoo is not something anyone would like face.
Sundays are no more Fundays.
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Hyerin's are rich rich. So whenever her parents are out of town for business, both the sisters throw parties and invite the whole town, okay not whole but they'll be almost there soon.
And you are present in each of them, as a pure obligation and to be a good friend to Hyerin.
Parties are not your thing, it never was and it's safe to say it will never be. Because your social batteries are weak and that's why while everyone is doing beer pongs or fuzzy duck or whatever questionable things, you sit by the pool, in calm, legs dipped in the cold water.
"Oh there's my girl!", you hear Hyejoo as she sits beside you.
"Congrats, you found me.", you shrug and swing your legs lightly in the water, making a brief eye contact with her.
"Thanks for coming.", she says leaning on her shoulders, "I know parties are not your thing but your presence matters. And thanks for these dresses? Like I don't know how you do it everytime, you have magic in your hands ."
"Don't go all sappy on me, Joo.", you chuckle and lay your head on hers, "But thanks for the words."
"Anything for you, love.", she smiles and closes her eyes basking in your presence until she hears a call of her name.
"Gotta go.", she immediately gets up and sprints to the hall as she yells, "Tell me whenever you wanna leave, I'll drop you off!"
You shake your head and take out your phone.
You:
[9 PM] You there?
Unknown Number :
[9:01 PM] Hey!
Just pulling a marathon of Victorious.
[9:02 PM] Cool! Cat Valentine my love.
Do you like parties?
Unknown Number:
[9:04 PM] Depends on the people, both accompanying and hosting.
What about you?
You:
[9:05 PM] I don't exactly like parties.
I'm that miserable wallflower :(
Unknown Number:
[9:07 PM] Come on, you're not miserable, it's just that you don't feel it, you're not into it.
You :
[9:09 PM] Maybe....
Joshua stares at the phone screen a little longer before chucking the phone on the bed. He sighs and his thoughts drift away to the same old wistful thinking.
There's a knock on the door and he hums in acknowledgement, allowing the person to enter.
"Make space for me, I'm tired.", Mingyu is already nudging Joshua who lets out a grunt but shifts anyway.
"If you're tired, go to your home and sleep on your bed.", Joshua remarks in an agitating tone but both of them know that he's actually far from that.
Mingyu laughs and snuggles closer to him, "That's not how you treat your best friend.", he playfully quips, "I have a match on Sunday, you're coming right?"
"When have I missed any of your matches?", Joshua rolls eyes, "Mixed Doubles?"
Mingyu nods, "The practice is thinning me tired.", he then taps on Joshua's arm and the later extends his arm so Mingyu can lay his head on.
"How's new school?", Mingyu asks.
A bit of silence before Joshua answers, "It's okay."
"Made new friends?", Mingyu asks with concern.
"No. Don't wanna.", Joshua says, "I'm just doing it because I have to."
"Tried talking to your mom about this?"
"Gyu", he trails off even though he has so much to say.
"I'm all ears Josh. Even if it's the same old talk, I'm willing to listen. Please tell me.", he insists.
"I had promised dad, that I'd become like him.", Joshua stills when that exact memory flash in front of his eyes, "After his death, I have fully devoted myself to studies so that I can get accepted to the best law academy. My mom always keeps on encouraging me and I know she wants to keep my dad's profession alive through me because she thinks I'm as much interested She's not at fault for doing so but..."
Mingyu waits with all the patience in the world, just for his friend to pour out everything, so that it hurts him less, so that his suffocation lessens even if in miniscule amount.
Pouring out is always better than bottling in.
Joshua relents for a moment but he knows that the listener is never going to judge him, that he's always there to share the burden so he continues, "When I was younger it was fascinating, I wanted to become lawyer but in recent years I don't feel the same. Heck, I don't even know what I like or what I'd like to have in as a career but it's definitely not something in law."
Mingyu listens and he worries a lot about his best friend because he knows that Joshua isn't particularly vocal and impulsive. He's neither outspoken nor indecisive.
If it had been him, Mingyu would have relayed his thoughts to his parents and worked a way out but it's not him.
It's Joshua.
It's Joshua, who would never willingly hurt his mother, even if it costs his mental health and choices.
It's Joshua, who on Mingyu's fifteenth birthday gifted him a Yonex Racket because Mingyu wanted one from long time but his parents weren't interested to invest in such an expensive racket. It had costed Joshua all his savings. It also costed Joshua his ears for all the scoldings he got from his and Mingyu's parents.
Mingyu is perceptive.
Joshua is also perceptive except for times when it comes to himself.
"Take your time Josh. We're too young to be worried about stuffs.", Mingyu says and turns to the other side, "Set the alarm at 6. I have practice."
"You're so bothersome.", Joshua quips with no seriousness instead setting the alarm on his phone but only after kicking Mingyu on his shin, "Go change into something comfortable atleast."
Mingyu just hums and Joshua pulls over the comforter.
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Mrs. Yoo stands patiently and all the students wonder why in the world they are standing outside an abandoned playground.
"I am gonna divide everyone in teams of two and you're gonna paint the walls of this playground.", Mrs. Yoo smiles wide as she sees the distress showcasing on the faces of her students, "and do gardening."
"What's the meaning of us doing all this?", you voice out in genuine concern.
"To make you all aware of the privileges you have been availing all your life.", Mrs. Yoo answers, "And I decide when the detention will be over so behave accordingly."
As if it wasn't already nauseating, Mrs. Yoo decides it's best if you pair up with Joshua Hong.
The same Joshua Hong who can't look at you without glaring.
"So let's start with making the soil bed", you say not looking at him as you two manage to gather some wooden sticks and tie the ends together.
Joshua hums disinterested and suddenly pours the bag containing manure into the bed without soil.
"Stop! what are you doing?", you scream as if facing a mid life crisis and he glares at you again.
You sigh, "That's not how it's done. We'll have to put a layer of soil and level it first --"
"Fine.", he cuts of you and starts pouring the soil bags one after one.
Your eye twitches and you think Joshua Hong can't be this dumb. He is definitely trying to stress you out.
"You're not helping at all, if you're doing it wrong.", you relay your mind to him and it irks you more when Joshua's response is same, it comes in form of his glare.
You glare back at him and he finally says, "Okay, do it yourself then."
He walks away and you're actually relieved because being in his vicinity is becoming the bane of your existence.
Suddenly your phone dinges and you smile looking at the notifications.
Unknown Number:
[3:26 PM] I'm having a really bad day ಠ_ಠ
You:
[3:28 PM] Yours wouldn't even compare to mine.
There's this boy whom I really can't tolerate but we keep on meeting.
Unknown Number:
[3:29 PM] Lol Same! There's a girl and I don't want her to even breath in my direction.
You: [3:30 PM] Damn, we're in same predicament huh.
Unknown Number:
[3:31 PM] Guess so... Gotta go, bye.
You:
[3:32 PM] Bye bye! He's coming towards me again, gosh ༎ຶ⁠‿⁠༎ຶ
Unknown Number:
[3:32 PM] Goodluck, I guess...
Joshua laughs as he sends the text. The lingering smile on his face immediately vanishes when his eyes lands on you.
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"Do you prefer to paint with brush or rollers?", you ask Joshua who's busy watching something on his phone.
He presses pause button on the screen and looks at you, "First of all, I can't paint to save my life.", he states, "So brush or rollers doesn't matter. It's same for me."
You nod and hand him a roller, "You won't be much help here too, so please do a favour and with start painting the walls these rollers, roll up vertically please. Don't change the direction."
"Who are you to order me around?", Joshua glares at you.
You think you are going to get hernia because of stress he's giving you lately.
"I'm someone who knows how to paint so instead of running your mouth why don't you try utilising those hands of your?", you spat out and turn around walking to the opposite side.
Joshua sees red.
He thinks he's going to have appendicitis because of the stress you're causing him.
You smile looking at the beautiful hues in the paint buckets.
Atleast something is able to calm your nerves.
"Don't you think he's handsome?"
Suddenly an arm is thrown over your shoulder that almost causes you to topple to the front.
"Who?", you quirk your brows questioningly at Hyejoo.
"Duh, who else your  partner. Joshua Hong.", she answers and turns you around so now you have to look at Joshua again.
You squint eyes at him, "He definitely looks good but he's an asshole."
Hyejoo smirks, "Really? I thought he's a cutie. Anyways, I like him."
You make gagging noises, "You have had not less than thousand crushes and that's totally cool but please not him."
"As if I'd listen to you."
"Yeah whatever. Maximum a week and then you will get to a new guy as always.", you mumble, "So fine."
Hyejoo leaves after Mrs. Yoo warns her to not pester anyone.
You sigh in relief and take out your phone.
You:
[4 PM] Whatcha doing'
Unknown Number:
[4:01 PM] Something I don't know how to do...
You:
[4:02 PM] Lol why?
Unknown Number:
[4:03 PM] Pure Compulsion.
You:
[4:03 PM] Ugh sucks.
Unknown Number:
What sucks more is when you have no one who understands you.
You:
[4:04 PM] Know that feeling.
I feel like no one understands me as well.
Unknown Number:
We have been talking for few days now and we don't even know each other names.
So may I know your name?
You stare at your phone screen, re-reading the text that had just appeared. Suddenly a pleasant idea pops in your mind and you happily type that away.
You:
[4:08 PM] I have an idea.
We won't share our names, any personal details, voices messages or pictures.
We'd be anonymous and get to know each other for real.
What say?
Joshua's face morphs into something that's both confusing and amusing. He doesn't think much finding it fun to try something new.
Joshua:
[4:10 PM] Let's that do.
Anonymous, saved.
Anonymous :
[4:10 PM] Anonymous, Saved :)
Joshua stands up holding the roller and tries to follow what you said. He dips the roller into the paint bucket containing orange paint and starts rolling it up vertically section wise.
He is having fun, too much fun that he accidentally spills the colours on the white tee shirt he is wearing underneath the jacket.
"What the hell?", he grunts, looking at his now stained tee, "Why doesn't anything work out for me?"
He feels emotional all of a sudden. He feels vulnerable, every thoughts that were pushed at the back of his mind starts to resurface.
He remembers the day he lost his father.
He remembers the moment when the girl he liked left the city one day and never came back.
He remembers --
"Hey, are you okay?"
Joshua hears you and falters at the tone of concern in your voice.
He simply nods and faces the wall.
"I can help you", Joshua stiffens but immediately relaxes when you say further, "to fix your tee."
"Do you have spare clothes?"
Joshua turns to face you and nods.
"So go get changed now and give me this tee.", you state and he throws an incredulous look.
"Are you planning to ruin my tee?", he asks, "What are you gonna do with it?"
"You'll see.", you say rolling eyes, "Hurry up, we don't have forever."
Joshua gets changed and hands you the tee.
You search your bag and take out your sewing kit.
Joshua sees your hands skim through the bag again and this time you fish out a bunch of cloth patches.
Next hour passes in a blur as you cut the ends of threads with scissor.
"It's done I guess.", you sigh and look at Joshua, "Manageable? Looks descent?"
He gapes at the tee in your hand and then he gapes at you.
You think he's cute with those bambi eyes resembling that of deers.
He is shaken out of trance by your light nudge.
"Woah, you're....", he manages to speak out, "so good... You gave this tee a whole new look and it's obviously trendier then the previous one."
You smile at his compliments. A smile that doesn't reach your eyes.
"Glad you liked it." you hand him the tee and start to assemble all the scattered tools and clothes putting them in your bag.
Then without another word, you get up and start to walk away.
Joshua ponders as he sees your figure diminishing from his sight, "Why did she look sad even if I was complimenting her?"
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"Damn, did you see that!!", you scream absolutely astonished when Hyerin & Jeonghan won the break point of the game, leading the first set 5-3.
"That's my sister!", yells Hyejoo and looks at you, "She's so good, if she wasn't my sister, I'd have been a fan."
The next game starts soon with Jeonghan doing the first serve and that ends quickly both of them sweeping the game with 40-0. Mingyu and his partner Seji are down by a set.
"Come on Mingyu! You can do better than this!"
You heard a very familiar voice not from far and crane your neck to see Joshua cheering up the opponents.
Must be his friends from previous school, you think.
"Oh my god, Josh's here too.", Hyejoo squeals and you roll eyes choosing to ignore her.
You are recording the match when you feel Hyejoo fleet from your side and it doesn't take a genius to figure out she's going to Joshua.
With the camcorder still recording you turn and through the lens you see a very agitated Joshua who's constantly ignoring whatever Hyejoo is saying.
A smile creeps upon your face.
Joshua suddenly turns and your gazes meet through the lens.
And you freeze.
Joshua squints his eyes at you before walking away and towards the players resting area which makes you realize that the opponents won the second set and you should be doing the same.
You hurriedly run over only to see a pissed off Jeonghan which is scary because the guy is always full of mischiefs and is a moodmaker.
"What happened Han?", you ask and the stare he gives you is enough to regret speaking up.
"Seji, she's his ex Y/N.", Hyerin explains further, "They used to play together and since they didn't end up on good terms it's kinda hard for him to see her and play against her." That clicks, why Seji seemed so familiar to you.
You give a nod of understanding and next you're crouching in front of him and he looks at you in confusion, "Whatever that happened must have happened for a reason and it's all in the past Han. I think it's an opportunity for you."
Jeonghan perks up, "Opportunity?"
"Yes opportunity.", you pat his arm, "For you to get over her and to discard all those lingering feelings. Also to get the cup and lift that trophy. You could have it all sorted Han, it's your now or never moment."
Hyerin listens to you mesmerized and Jeonghan cracks an all toothy grin.
"Thanks Y/N.", he acknowledges, "For making me see things clearer."
You get and huff, "I don't want your thanks. Just win this match and treat me to BRs."
"Okay deal.", Jeonghan extends his pinky and you hook yours to his.
"There's still time, strategize your play", you say looking at the timer, "All the best guys!", and you run away.
"Thank God, Seji has gone to washroom.", Mingyu sighs in relief, "She's already pissed off since she knew we're playing against Jeonghan and if she heard all this, I'd be in trench because you can't motivate the shit to Seji like that girl did."
Joshua glares at his best friend, "Why is this falling on me? Neither I'm playing with you, nor I'm the ex boyfriend. So keep me out of it. If Y/N impresses you that much why don't you ask her for motivation directly."
Mingyu smirks, "Oh Y/N it is. Joshua Hong why do I get this feeling that you're not on good terms with her? I mean your tone says that."
Damn Kim Mingyu for knowing his best friend so well.
Joshua scoffs, "I think you have better things to worry about.", he gets up, "If you loose today, I won't allow you crash at my place for a month."
Mingyu dramatically gasps, "Are you in your right mind? You're scaring me Josh, please don't do this."
"So win this match.", Joshua smirks, 'Think this as your motivation to win."
Mingyu and Seji loose the match.
While you are celebrating with your Hyerin, Jeonghan and Hyejoo, Joshua is getting pestered by Mingyu.
"Are you serious right now?", Joshua asks in disbelief, "You just lost to them and know you want to know if Hyerin is single?"
Mingyu nods quietly liked a kicked puppy but he has no shame at all.
"Really?", Joshua asks again to confirm and when Mingyu doesn't respond he kicks his shin, "Fine. I'm going."
Joshua trudges through the crowd to find someone.
He finds you.
"Hey", he greets and you just nod at him.
"Uh can you help me with something?", he tries to sound as polite as possible, "I just wanted to know something."
"Go ahead."
Though he's cursing at Mingyu in his mind, nonetheless he asks, "You're good friends with Hyerin right?"
"Yeah we are best friends.", you say proudly looking at her as she holds the trophy and chats with Jeonghan.
"Is she single?"
The smile drops off your face and you throw a death glare at Joshua.
"Why do you wanna know that?"
Beads of sweat accumulates on his forehead as Joshua stumbles upon his words, "I-I, well-- It's..", and he finds this sudden urge within himself to explain it you before you misunderstand further, "Mingyu, my best friend, he wants to know about her."
"Didn't he just loose a match?", you ask him while your questioning gaze is fixated at Mingyu.
"Exactly! That's what I told him", he explains, "But he's like that only so if you could tell me.."
"She's single.", you respond to shut him up.
Joshua quietly cowers away.
"She's scary.", Mingyu laughs, "I thought she was going to bite off your head."
"Asshole.", Joshua quips, "She's single. Go shoot your shot."
Mingyu's eyes twinkles and skips away immediately.
Later, Mingyu manages to get Hyerin's number.
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Mingyu and Hyerin are dating.
"Please Y/N", Hyerin literally corners you in your own bedroom, "It's just a double date--"
Your face contorts in distaste, "And with whom? Joshua Hong. No. Never. We both can't tolerate each other."
"Oh come on darling", Hyerin tries to persuade you, "I have talked to him, he seems good. Plus I've heard he was the star player of his previous school's basketball team. A heartthrob, you can say."
"He's good to you, because you're his best friend's girlfriend.", then you declare, "Otherwise he's an asshole."
"He's cute.", Hyerin corrects you.
"You know Hyejoo has been crushing on Joshua for sometime right? Why don't you ask her?", you sort to your last resort.
"Please, I don't her around when I'm chilling or on dates.", Hyerin sighs, "You know she's hard to handle and we both get her but other people can be uncomfortable sometimes. Last time at practice she said something ridiculous to Jeonghan, ofcourse as a joke but it was really off.", she shudders at the memory, "Jeonghan's always laid back so he let it pass."
"Okay. But why do you need us? Go on dates alone, spend time with each other."
"Because I want you to know Gyu and Josh better and same for Gyu.", Hyerin says grabbing your hands and sighs when she sees confusion written over your face, "Look even though we have just started dating but I think I like him. So I want you to know my boyfriend and his friend, you know, so you it's fluid between the four of us."
You understand. You are happy that you're her confidant. Everything makes sense except Joshua.
But when Hyerin gives you those puppy eyes, who are you to deny her.
"Fine. I'll go with you."
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Mingyu gapes at Joshua in disbelief.
"What?", Joshua almost mewls and chucks a pillow at Mingyu, "Stop staring okay?"
Mingyu sits up on the bed, "So you have been talking to someone you don't know and what if that person turns out a psychopath."
"She's not a psychopath, Gyu", Joshua is immediately retaliates.
"She?", Mingyu is amused, "What if it's a he and a 50 year old weirdo?"
That sends Joshua off. After some moment of contemplation he says, "Whatever. They don't even know me and it's fine we just share our minds with each other."
"Dude you always that I'm crazy but I think it's you. You're the crazy one.", Mingyu pouts and scoots over to where Joshua is seated, "So about the double date...."
"We're not having this conversation again.", Joshua retorts.
"Why?", Mingyu now lays on Joshua's lap and looks at him, "Y/N is such a cool person Joshy. You'd love it. She's definitely better than that person you're chatting coz we know her."
Joshua rolls his eyes and places a hand over Mingyu's mouth, "We don't get along at all so no."
Mingyu bits his hand lightly and Joshua flinches in pain.
"Do me this favour Joshy, please.", Mingyu pleads, "We'll have a lot a fun I promise."
"I'm seeing her everyday Gyu, courtesy detention class. I have no will to see her more."
Mingyu's phone dinges a notification and his eyes narrow into slits as he reads it and Joshua knows it's definitely not something beneficial for him because--
"Y/N agreed to it.", Mingyu announces almost shoving his phone to Joshua's face as the later read the text from Hyerin saying the same.
He slaps away his friends hand, "Still a no."
"I thought we are best friends.", Mingyu says sadly as he gets up and takes his bag, "But seems I was wrong. Anyways, I'll get going."
Joshua knows Mingyu is pulling the best friend card yet he let's himself indulge into it once more.
"Fine.", Joshua hollers, "If I don't have a great time, I'll really cut you off Kim Mingyu."
Mingyu grins from ear to ear.
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"Y/N, we got a call from your school.", your mother says. You don't like where this conversation is going.
"They informed us about your detention.", your father adds, "Why didn't you tell us?" "It's just a detention dad which will be over by the end of this week.", you say taking a bite of your sandwich even though your appetite was gone. "Y/N", your mother places her hand on yours, "You need to be serious about your studies. Your grades gonna decide your university. Remember that you'll have to take over your father's Pharma company because it's for you. This is our legacy." You are tired of the same old conversation. "I don't want to", your voice cracks as tears prick at the corner of your eyes, "I want to study fashion technology. I want to be a designer!" "We already had this discussion Y/N.", your fathers alerts and you are getting off the chair. "Getting late.", you say slinging your bag over, "Bye." Your parents look at each other solemnly. You can't pinpoint which part of the day went fine for you till now. Because everything was going wrong. First the conversation with your parents during breakfast, second Hyerin informing you about not attending classes today at the last moment over a text, third being late in the class and hearing a earful from the teacher and lots more to account for. Now, as you got some free time before the detention class starts, you decide to sew the remaining series of sequences on the piece of cloth you are currently working on.
You are pulling the needle from the backside when it pricks your index finger.
You're immune to this, it doesn't even sting much but your eyes are teary and you curse out in mumbles.
The tears start to roll your cheeks, you sob silently hiding your face behind your palms.
"Why did you agree to this double dating thing?"
You could see Joshua towering over you but don't raise your hear.
"I could have managed Gyu but just because you agreed I couldn't do so.", Joshua says angrily, "You are so annoying you know--"
"I'm sorry", you stand up, raising your head and your gazes meet.
Joshua instantly freezes when he sees your bloodshot eyes and hears your body racking sobs.
"I know I'm annoying. I'm sorry.", you cry out, "I-I'll just do something."
"Y/N--"
"I'll cancel out on them last minute with some excuses. I promise.", you are wiping your never ending tears as you continue, "So that from next time if they propose something you can always shut them up by saying that I bailed out last time."
"Hey please stop crying.", Joshua gently holds your arms as he crouches to look at you eye to eye, "Please tell me what do I need to do so that you can calm down?"
You don't respond and Joshua renders in panic as he feels you shaking under his touch.
Before the gears in his head could start turning he pulls you into embrace.
And when you still don't stop crying he gently rocks you and hums a soothing melody. His one hand strokes your hair and the other firmly hold you to his chest.
Your cries reduce to sobs until it stops.
"It'll all work out.", he says still rocking you and your hands fist on his shirt at the back.
"But it never works out", you whisper meekly.
"It will. I promise.", his says softly and with so much sincerity that it makes you want to believe him.
You pull away and ask, "You think it will?"
Joshua smiles as he wipes your tears and cups your face. His response comes in form of a soft smile and a firm nod.
"Now sit right here", he backs you and sits you up on the chair, "I'll be back quickly. Don't leave!"
He runs off halfway and calls Hyerin to know what's your favourite food or drink or anything that you make your mood shift even a bit.
And around 20 minutes later he returns with a bag full of cheese puffs, strawberry juice cans and butterscotch flavoured ice creams.
He pants but is relieved to see that you are still there and most importantly not crying.
But your rummaging through your bag.
"What are you searching for?", Joshua asks and sits beside you.
"Band-Aid", you sigh in defeat, "Of course I don't have it today. What a shitty day to be alive."
"I have it, wait a minute.", he fishes out one strip and asks, "Did you get hurt?"
"I pricked my finger with the needle.", you say extending your hand and he looks at you in concern as he applies the ointment and then wraps the Band-Aid.
"Don't worry, I'm used to it.", you try to lessen his worry, "If you do sewing with hands, you're gonna get a lot of it."
Joshua's wide eyes meets your as he realises what you're saying is correct and you find him adorable.
"Here", he hands the bag, "I got these for you."
You tear the seal and a broad grin sets on your lips.
"How did you manage to get all these?"
"Called Hyerin and run to nearest convenience store."
Your heart swells a bit, "You really didn't have to but thanks. I really mean it."
"I hope this helps you get through the day.", Joshua says and takes the ice cream stick you're offering him.
"It definitely will.", you thank him again, "I'll repay you by cancelling the double date. I promise."
Suddenly the idea doesn't sit well with Joshua.
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You rack your brain hard to come up with an excuse so that the double date gets cancelled.
Looking at the time, you're about to pull your hair in frustration when your phone rings.
Hyerin calling ...
Panic surges within you causing you miss her call. You immediately call her back.
"Hey love, meet you at the arcade. I'm loving this dynamic between you two.", her suggestive tone confuses you, "I wanna know what's going on between you and Josh. Start getting ready, Josh will pick you up at 7 sharp. Bye."
"Wait what?", you squeak out, "Hello?? Rin?? Hello??"
What does she mean by that, you thought.
It was already 6:30 PM and you don't even have Joshua's number.
"Let's get ready Y/N.", you say to yourself, "If Joshua comes then fine, if he doesn't come the possibility of which weighs more, still fine you get the wear the dress you have made."
Your mood instantly lifts and you search through your wardrobe for that one dress which you have been meaning to wear for a while now. You had completed stitching the dress last month. It turned out really pretty, more than you had expected.
You had cried tears of pride and finished two tubes a butterscotch flavoured ice creams that night.
When you spot it, you caress the dress with gentle hands before taking it out and laying it on the bed.
It's a simple wrap dress, except for, you have recreated the whole dress using some torn out velvety clothings from your mother's old garments. You favourite part is that tie around which you reconstructed from a bodice and put the sequencing overall.
Green always looks good on. You're confident this one also would.
Putting on the dress, twirling around in pure joy and after being done with the makeup and pairing it with your favourite shoes you waited for Joshua.
Sharp at 7, your doorbell rings and you sprint down the stairs grabbing your sling bag to open the door.
"Wow", Joshua blurts out, eyes wide and mouth agape.
He's enchanted.
Your soft giggles breaks his reverie and he curses himself for being so obvious.
"You clean up nice too.", you actually word out the complement because Joshua is really damn good looking.
With his hair brushed back, you can see his exposed forehead and fine lined brows. The blue polo shirt that has been half tucked under the white chino pant is definitely enhancing him.
He's glowing under the strip light and you're sure he'd glow even more under the moonlight.
"Thanks", Joshua breathes out.
"Don't you have something to tell me?", your lips curl up as you say stepping out and close the door, "I was surprised when Rin--"
Joshua doesn't step back.
So when you turn you're words stuck in your throat as you almost bump into him.
But you don't bump into him. Rather there's hardly an inch of gap between you both as you stare at each other wordless.
You think he has kissable lips.
Joshua thinks you have beautiful pair of eyes.
You think his cologne smells nice.
He thinks no one ever did justice to any shades of green as much as you.
You think he has beautiful pair of eyes.
He thinks you have kissable lips.
So he leans down slowly and you don't back off. His breathes fan over your face and your hands find his.
He entwines his fingers through yours and you close your eyes.
He dips down further and is within the cusp of having luxury to put your lips together when the shrill ringtone cuts the atmosphere.
You open your eyes wide and Joshua yanks his hands backing off. You are frozen in place for a few seconds until Joshua's call of your name shakes you up.
He clears his throat and scratches his nape when you look at him.
"Gyu called.", he looks at everything and anywhere except your eyes, "They have reached and waiting for us. Let's go."
You grimace at the sudden change in atmosphere.
It's awkward and suffocating.
You both don't talk to each the whole time Joshua drives you to the arcade.
"Hey love, hey Josh", Hyerin greets as soon as you enter followed by Joshua.
You clinge to your best friend's arm and wave at Mingyu. He waves back with a huge grin.
"Guys", Mingyu calls out, "I checked the bowling ally and booked us the next slot. Let's go."
You have to unwillingly let go her arm when Mingyu extends his for her to hold.
But just before she goes, she whispers in your ear, "Did something happen between you two?"
Your eyes go wide for a moment but before she could catch up to it, you deny it. Her gaze lingers on your face trying to find any inconsistency but thankfully Mingyu ushers her away.
You and Joshua are left behind.
Joshua isn't looking at you at all and you ponder over the fact if you're going to have a good time it has to be with Joshua and this dynamic between you two has to change immediately.
"Do you want to go there?"
Joshua perks up and follows your gaze to the bowling alley where both of your best friends were having fun.
"Well.... actually no. Don't wanna interrupt them", he says, "I want to try basketball though."
"That's my favourite!", you are grabbing him by his hand, "It's that way."
Joshua smiles and he thinks that he could get used to your presence.
"You try first.", you say as you buy the tickets.
"Fine. Next round's on me.", he say taking his position infront of the machine.
You take your camcorder out and just out hold the device when Joshua scowls, "It's illegal to shoot without permission."
You realise that he's right and you mutter a quick sorry before switching off the device and shoving it into your bag.
When you look up again, Joshua is rolling of the sleeves of his shirt and while doing it he's looking damn hot  for some reason.
You gulp nervously and look away.
When you're courageous enough to back at him, he's brushing his hair with his hand.
Again, for some reasons he's looking damn hot.
You think you'd combust if you stay there another moment so you say, "I'll be waiting there", and fleet away.
No matter how much you try, your straying eyes lands on him and you get a whiplash from his chiseled jaw. He must have had his side profile sculptured.
You wonder if Joshua had been always this easy on eyes or it's your hormones talking all of a sudden.
Trying a way out of distraction you decide to text Anonymous.
But before you could apprehend your fingers type away a text that makes you groan upon reading it.
You:
[8:07 PM] How do you know if you like someone?
The lack of response comes from the other side makes you ponder if you had asked an invasive question.
Did you come out too cringey, you sigh in defeat and rest your phone on the table.
"Y/N!", you hear Joshua yell, "You gotta come here."
You would have waved him off if not he had that cute little pout set across his lips.
"Don't tell me you're not able to cross level 2", you laugh straight at his face.
"As if you're the highest scorer.", He retorts.
"So naive", you tsk taking your position in front of the machine.
Joshua goes to recharge the card and returns quickly to tap it on the scanner.
You swiftly pull him beside you and he looks at you startled.
You think he's startled because he's clueless.
He is startled because of the proximity between you both.
"W-What are you doing?"
"Obviously, we're both gonna play.", you say casually, "Otherwise there's no way to crack this unless you climb on this keep on keep ducking the ball in & out."
"Wait what?"
"Look as soon as the balls start rolling, keep on picking and throwing them up.", you set aside your sling bag and tie your hair up in a messy bun, " One thing try to aim when the basket slides to your side, I'll aim on mine otherwise other balls would collide with each other and fall off."
Joshua blinks.
You wait.
Joshua is still confused.
"Look, I have wanted to try this with someone for so long.", your pleading tone resonates with Joshua.
"You haven't tried it before?", he asks, "The way you gave the instructions I was pretty much sure you're a pro at it."
"I did try it with Hyerin.", you lament, "But given she's into sports, her arcade skills are zero."
Joshua snorts at this and gets ready to fulfill your wish.
"We're gonna beat this machine today.", he raises his fisted hand for a fistbump and you gladly reciprocate.
Your cheat key fails at Level 5 but you are happy.
Same for Joshua because he couldn't recollect when was the last time he had this much fun.
"Are you sure they don't get along?", Mingyu asks with a huge grin set on his lips.
"I don't know about Y/N but Joshua upped himself by delivering himself at her door today.", Hyerin smirks.
Mingyu rolls eyes, "Don't you think I didn't notice Y/N literally giving hearty eyes to Joshy."
Hyerin doesn't comment anymore, she just smiles.
That night after dropping you off at home, when he basks in the memories of the spent evening, Joshua realises he has got a text from Anonymous.
Anonymous:
[8:15 PM] How do you know if you like someone?
Joshua:
[10:45 PM] Sorry, had a busy day today.
Do you like someone?
Anonymous:
[10:47 PM] I'm not sure???
I think I like him, the same boy whom I used hate.
Joshua:
[10:48 PM] Should I be happy? What about me?
Kidding! Feelings works funny because I think I'm starting to like the girl I told you about before.
Anonymous:
[10:49 PM] Oh? Should I be happy?
We're really in same boat lol.
Hope we can sort it out.
Joshua:
[10:50 PM] Touché.
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Detention classes are going to end today.
You should be feeling ecstatic but you have a glum aura around you as you splash the paint on the wall for one last time.
"You're amazing you know."
A small smile forms on your lips but Joshua doesn't need to see that.
"I just complimented you, are you seriously gonna ignore me?", Joshua bumps his shoulder to yours but you don't budge.
"You are gonna keep doing that?", Joshua let's out a sound of annoyance, "Fine, just remember I had no other choice."
Before you could ask or ignore, you are being turned around in a moment, in the next you are being dragged you have no idea where.
Mrs. Yoo smiles as she watches you both. She just wanted you both to stop hating on but what seemingly she's a getting a lot more than she bargained for.
Hyejoo glares at the two of you and though she isn't sure if she's serious about her feelings for Joshua, a green monster of jealousy starts to invade her mind.
You are pulled inside an empty room which you never knew existed and now you're being cornered by the guy who's causing your hormones to react horrendously whenever around him.
"W-What are you doing?", you gulp nervously, looking everywhere but at him.
"Why are you ignoring me?", he says in a desperate tone and it makes you feel bad.
Because I get nervous around you, I think I like you.
You want to say it all loud and get everything off your chest but you don't.
"I-I'm just being moody", you lie partially, "I have gotten my periods."
Joshua looks relieved, "So you're not particularly being hostile towards me? Oh that's fine. I get it."
You sigh in relief.
Then, his worrying gaze is scrutinizing your face, "Are you in pain? I shouldn't have dragged you here, really sorry. Do you need me to buy to anything? Do you want to eat ice creams--"
You hush him by putting your finger on his lips, though you wish if you could put your lips on his instead.
"I'm fine Josh.", you tell him, "Since today detention classes are ending do you wanna go somewhere with me afterwards?"
Joshua agrees in a beat.
Mrs. Yoon has a teasing grin across her lips when you both stand side by side waiting for her to give you the slips which marks the end of detention.
"I'm impressed how you both went from almost plotting murder to gardening together real quick.", she says with an underlying tone, "Oh, painting too. You've learned to breathe in each other presence, that's what I wanted. You're free to go."
You both quickly mutter a thanks to her and head towards the exit.
You wait for Joshua as he goes to where his bike is parked.
And he groans when he see Hyejoo waiting for him there.
"What do you want?", he asked bluntly, as he pulls his bike and wears the helmet.
"I want to sit on that bike of yours.", she says coyly, "Can I?"
"No.", Joshua says as he prepares to flee, "As I have told you before I have no interest in you. Please stop seeking attention from me all the time."
Her gazes turns shearer as she asks, "So who do you have interest in? Y/N?"
Joshua stiffens for a moment before deciding to ignore her wholly and riding away.
"He didn't even deny it, wow", she scoffs, "Fine, let's see how this goes."
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"Such a beautiful place exists and I didn't even know about it?", Joshua laments, "How did you find this place?"
You smile looking ahead, sound of the waves calming you in an ineffable way.
"Accidentally.", you say after sometime, "But this is where you'll find me if ever you couldn't get in touch with me."
Joshua's heart tightens within his chest as he asks, "Why are you showing your safe place to me? Who else knows about this place?"
You don't respond right away and Joshua waits patiently.
"Hyerin, Hyejoo and someone I used to know, knows about this place.", you look at him with warmth in your eyes, "Now you know it too."
Joshua had never imagined that a person who got his coffee spilled, became his detention partner would also be the one who would cry in front of him because of having bad day to be cheatmates at an arcade game.
Joshua never got the slightest intuition that the person whom he hated the most would also become the person he'd be liking the most.
"I want to become a fashion designer. But my parents want me to manage our family business of pharmaceuticals.", your words, tone, aura, everything is emitting sadness, "I have tried to convince them since the day I found out about my passion but they won't let me. The discussion goes nowhere."
Joshua listen, not entirely but somewhat relating to the situation.
"Tell me about you, Josh."
Joshua finds you staring at back him.
He thinks for a while, trying to put together the words for you to make sense and then speaks, "My dad was a lawyer. And I respected him a lot, so I think because of that I found law intriguing.", he pauses and heaves a sigh, "After his death, I promised mom that I keep his profession alive through me. It was an impromptu decision I had made. I was barely 12 years old then."
You listen and empathize with him. You could take a guess where this is going and if not entirely, you can also somewhat relate to him.
"As I grew up, the realisation gnawed at me. I didn't find law intriguing anymore, I don't wanna be a lawyer anymore."
Joshua sounds so dejected that you wanna put his head on your shoulders and wrap your arms around him in an embrace.
But you only caress his back.
"I have tried to tell mom about it but I didn't yet have the courage to actually tell her yet because she's still so immersed in dad and the memories he left. She doesn't even change the old television we have which barely works coz it was one of dad's favourite possession."
He suddenly blinks almost comically, bambi eyes getting rounder and lips parted in awe.
"You're really cool you know!", he emphasises on the adjective for you to get the sincerity of it, "You already have a passion and you know what you want to do. Unlike me."
"You realize it's never too early or too late to find one's passion. We are too young for figuring out our entire life. There's time. There always a right time.", you too emphasize, "Maybe you don't know today but maybe you'll know it tomorrow or someday."
Joshua finds your words oddly comforting and true.
"You can try to make your mom understand little by little. Like how about convincing her to replacing the television or anything else that could be replaced. When and if she agrees find the right time to bring in the topic and get it to her slowly. She'll understand, after all she's your mother."
What you just say, tastes bitter in your mother maybe because you wished for your parents to understand you as well.
Joshua must be knowing how to read minds, because he says, "I would like you to use your advice to yours as well. Show your parents what you wanna do and why you wanna do it. Show them your dedication."
"I'll try.", you smile at him.
"I'll try as well." he echoes you.
When he left home today, he had a mission on his mind that was to get your number.
Because when he asked Mingyu for the same, he quoted something along the lines,
"You need to get it yourself. How long until you don't suck at getting numbers?"
Infuriating, cocky of a best friend Joshua has.
When he drops you at your doorstep, Joshua had those words on the tip of his tongue until you pull of his helmet and kiss his cheek.
Joshua.exe has stopped working.
It's too late when Joshua comes back to this realm because he hears a door slam and you're have successfully sprinted into your house.
Next time definitely, he promises to himself.
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You:
[6:30 PM] shared a playlist
Anonymous:
[6:35 PM] I just went through the songs list and I must say you're a music nerd fr.
You:
[6:37 PM] That I am. This playlist represents me so I just gave you a glimpse of what I am.
Anonymous:
[6:39 PM] FYI your playlist has many of my favourite songs as well. We're so similar.
"Are you texting that random stranger again?", Hyerin grimaces as she situates herself between your legs, trying to take a peek at your phone.
When you ignore her she asks again, "What's going on between you and Joshua?"
"Nothing.", you answer simply, knowing Hyerin won't buy a penny of it.
You shift so that Hyerin falls flat on the bed and you lay beside her.
"Rin, even though I have been talking this guy--"
"Don't have no idea whether you're talking to a guy or a girl or a bot or whoever!", Hyerin huffs, "Look I know you like talking to them, share interests and all but can you seriously think about Joshua. You like him, don't you?"
You sigh in defeat, nothing goes past your best friend, "I do like him, Rin."
"I freaking knew it! You both are so obvious!", Hyerin laughs, "And cute."
"I'm going to tell him someday maybe.", you say, "Even if he rejects me, I can console myself saying atleast I tried."
"Before you do that, why don't you meet this Anonymous.", Hyerin suggests, "I mean look, I know you have crated an attachment towards them. So meet them in person, get to know each more and do tell them that you like Joshua."
You blink at her owlishly.
"What I mean is, sort things out. First go meet Anonymous so you know they're not some weirdo and if they're not great you got another friend. Then confess to Josh about your feelings.", Hyerin expectant gaze falls on you hoping you got what she's trying to say.
"Okay!", you say and she can almost see that see a lightbulb going off in your head, "I'll meet anonymous first, then... then we'll see."
"Then you'll confess to Josh, if he doesn't do it first.", Hyerin scoffs, "Please we know the amount of time you're both spending."
"What about Hyejoo?", you ponder, "Doesn't she also like Josh?"
"Look, I'm very much surprised Joshua made it past a week okay? But I really want her to see Jisung's the one for her. That poor boy, I don't know how many heartbreak he suffers everytime my sister chooses a new crush, chooses someone who's not him."
"And tell her to spend a day without Jisung, she'll go berserk.", you continue to add points, "I wonder how long until she realises it's been him all this time."
"I know right, she's so goddamn stubborn.", Hyerin laments, "Hope she doesn't pull something stupid to get to Joshua because he doesn't even have an ounce of interest towards her."
"Good for me I guess?", you shrug and get an 'aww' on return.
You immediately pull up your phone and send a text.
You:
[7:25 PM] I was wondering if we could meet up?
Anonymous:
[7:30 PM] What about your rule of not knowing each other personally ?
You:
[7:31 PM] The one who made the rule is trying to break it, so .....
Anonymous:
[7:32 PM] Ok cool, let's meet.
You:
[7:33 PM]
Okay day after tomorrow, 5 in evening at Crimson Café. Sounds good?
Anonymous:
[7:33 PM] Fine by me.
How are we going to recognise each other lol?
You:
[7:34 PM]
I'll be wearing a purple beret hat with a bear logo on it.
Anonymous:
[7:35 PM]
I'll be wearing a green sweatshirt with Los Angeles written on it.
You:
[7:36 PM] Noted. See you on Thursday!
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Next day when you cross the threshold of your school canteen, it's not Hyerin who gets hijacked by Jeonghan.
He hijacks you.
"What does the school heartthrob want from me?", you quip nonchalantly, "And you have a treat pending so...."
Jeonghan rolled eyes, "Oh my god, fine. After classes end, let's go to that bakery shop nearby. I heard they sell the best black currant cakes."
"Deal!", you bump his shoulder, "I'll be waiting by the exit. Will drop a text."
Jeonghan gives a nod, pats your head and part ways to attend the class.
Joshua has been occupying mostly of mind nowadays and you wonder if he was just a mere crush anymore. You also realise that you could have texted him asking if he's attending school today or not but you don't have his number.
You ask him for it next time, you take a mental note.
As promised, Jeonghan takes you to the bakery and after placing your orders Jeonghan finally ask a favour from you.
"It's the final project and I have no clue how to design the cover.", he tells you, "So could you please help me with it?"
Jeonghan knows you would definitely help him.
"Han, look to be honest, I have a lot of assignments and project to deal with", you explain, "So there's a limit on my end to provide you support. It shouldn't be taking long, we need to decide specific days and anyhow get it done by that."
Jeonghan sighs in relief, "Y/N you could have literally said no but you're an angel.", he grabs your hands and expresses his gratitude, "I'll mail you all the details and you have a look. Then we can decide on the rest."
"Sounds like a plan and you know I'd never not help you if I could.", you assert, "You are a good friend."
Jeonghan would never admit but his heart swells with emotions. For him too, you have been a good friend. Not always in touch maybe, but the one he can confide to anytime.
You let out a yelp when your pulled against his chest, as Jeonghan gives you a side hug.
"Dude what's gotten into you?", you scrunch your nose looking at him with pointed eyes.
"Well definitely not someone who goes by Joshua Hong.", he teases.
You gasp, almost scurrying away from him.
"Hyerin that little snitch!", you gruff in disbelief and Jeonghan laughs.
Joshua doesn't see you in school. He searches but you're neither in the canteen, nor with Hyerin or any of the classes he thought you'd be.
"Looking for Y/N?"
He hears a familiar voice and doesn't like it at all.
Hyejoo stands in front of him, her lips curled up in a smirk, arms crossed over her chest.
"If you know then tell me or mind your own business.", he deadpans.
Hyejoo definitely knows where and with whom you are because she had overhead you two while passing by and the absolute joy she got because that would definitely be a fuel to fire.
Joshua decides to walk off but what he hears next cause him to halt.
"Be careful Josh. Y/N maybe not be all what she seems to be.", Hyejoo says.
She continues on realising she has successfully garnered his attention, "I'm only saying because I care for you."
"What are you trying to imply here?", Joshua asks.
She chuckles, a mocking tone cutting through which Joshua fails to notice, "Did she ever breakdown in front of you?"
Joshua stills. A moment later he nods.
"You'll often have to handle that, not a big deal", her lips curl down as if in worry, "But as days goes she'll be blaming every irrelevant things on you. You won't be able to tell her that things are not working out for her because she's not trying."
Joshua is rooted to ground, he only listens.
"I assume you already know about her safe place."
Joshua feels like someone had poured a bucket of ice water on him.
"Your face says you know it.", Hyejoo taunts, "It's always like this. She's difficult to handle."
"What do you mean by always?"
"It was same with Junsik, her ex.", she utters hurriedly.
Joshua doesn't know what he's gonna do with all these information he just acquired.
"Let me take you where she is now."
That's how Joshua finds himself standing outside the bakery. Through one of window walls he sees you laughing at something Jeonghan was saying.
His hands balled into fists as he watches Jeonghan pulling you into his embrace.
You look so happy that Joshua's mind lingers back to the memories shared between you two and he doubts if you were ever this happy when you were with him.
When he sees Jeonghan feeding you, his heart constricts too tightly in his chest.
He realises that he doesn't like the intimacy between you and Jeonghan.
He realises he wants to swap places with Jeonghan, that he should be the one who gets to hug, to feed you or hold your hands.
He realises that he likes you.
He likes you a lot.
"You like her, it's so obvious", Hyejoo says impassively, "But does she like you back?"
Joshua has his minded clouded with all sorts of nonsense Hyejoo fed him with that anger seeps through his veins and clutters in his heart as pain.
He blames himself for believing that you would have some sort of liking towards him and he is indignant because you acted as if you would reciprocate his feelings.
Joshua leaves with a heavy heart and he might not have noticed the tears that were pooling his eyes.
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Your eyes stray in anticipation everytime you sense someone passing by your table.
You wait for Anonymous as decided at the Crimson café with lot of expectations and only one hope for the person to be not any weirdo.
You:
[7:10 PM] I'm already in here.
Took the table nearest to the counter, the view looks good from here :)
You quickly send the text and rest the phone on the table as you take out your sketch book and start doodling.
Joshua is still heartbroken for which he really looks forward to meet Anonymous.
Today, he just wants to forget everything and have a good time.
To get you off his mind, to push back the career choices, he only wants that.
He heaves a deep breathe standing outside the café and his lips curl up as he reads the text he just received notifying that the one he's going to meet has already arrived.
Joshua pushes the door, walking in.
All hope dissipates instantly when he sees you, wearing a purple beret hat with a bear logo, sitting at one of the two tables nearest to the counter, other one being empty.
Joshua doesn't think anymore, he just sprints out of the café.
You sigh bored, finally getting your head out of your sketchbook and check the time.
You:
[7:24 PM] You didn't forget about meeting me today right??
Are you stuck somewhere?
It's 8 now, neither do you get a response of your texts, nor does Anonymous shows up.
You:
[8:03 PM] Are you still coming?
Did something happen? Are you okay?
Please just drop a text whenever you get this, I'm worried...
The clock strikes 9 and you're dragging your body out of the café.
You are worried. You are exhausted.
Not trying to read much into it, you coax yourself into believing that there must be a valid reason for Anonymous to take a raincheck on you. That you'll get a response and may be an apology later.
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Next day when you wake up, the first thing you do is check your phone.
No messages.
You huff in annoyance but don't let it ruin your mood because today you have a mission.
To get Joshua's number.
Not a big deal, you could have easily gotten it from Hyerin but you believe it's best to be a little brave and get it from the person himself.
Generally, you have often bumped into him for the past few day but today, somehow it's hard to find him. You even doubt if he's attending school today.
But that doubt dissolves when you see him in the canteen, snacking on a snicker bar and scrolling through his phone with a bored expression.
A grin sets on lips as you walk up to him and occupy the seat across him.
He lifts his gaze from his phone and his heart drops when he sees you.
"Hey", you say, "I have been searching for you."
Suddenly, there's a screech and Joshua is dragging out his chair as he stands up.
Your curious eyes try to meet his but he doesn't look at you.
"Josh--"
"I have a class now.", he says and leaves.
You are confused and you are worried.
If he's having a bad day you want to help him, as he had done for you.
If he's bothered by something, you want him to eat up your ears by ranting it all out.
If he's tired, you want to put his head on your shoulder.
"I'll let him have his space for today.", you mumble in distaste, "But I miss him. I'm so miserable."
Next day you bump into him in the hallway.
"Hey Josh", you greet, smiling wide.
Joshua is stoic and you notice it.
"I have some work at library.", he says and just as he was about to take a turn you grab his wrist.
"Did something happen?", you ask with uncertainty, anxiety creeping in you slowly.
"Can you unhand me?", Joshua quips sharply, "If you haven't noticed it, I'm feeling uncomfortable."
You immediately release his hand and take a step back "I-I'm sorry --"
"Save it.", he says, "What do you want anyway?"
Your mind runs thousand miles on the memory lane to come up with anything you could have done to upset Joshua.
But nothing comes up. Absolutely nothing.
"I just want to get your number."
There you just had to say it when Joshua is vexed at you.
A scoff leaves his lips and he glares at you, "What are you playing at? Don't you already have my number. Stop messing with me."
You think you're hearing everything wrong. You look at him as if he has grown another head and a pair of lips which are uttering absolute nonsense.
"How could you do this to me?", he asks, his gaze peering into your soul and wrenching at your gut, "I feel like you're always breathing into in my neck. And it's suffocating."
"What did I do, please tell me." , you plead in helplessness, eyes glistening with unshed tears and you all get in return is a condescending look.
"Stop pretending, oh my god", Joshua whispers in a threatening tone, "I don't want to see to you anymore.", with that he leaves.
You suck in a sharp breathe and close your eyes letting those tears fall. A sob throbs out of you and you are unbothered with the looks you're getting from those passing by.
Your mind only reels the words Joshua had spat out, the bitterness and hatred from them getting to you.
Joshua is the only good thing that has happened to you in a long time so you refuse let him go just like that.
Whatever it is, you're going to fix it.
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"Mrs. Hong?"
"Y/N?"
You chest tingles in mirth as you ask, "How have you been?"
"Been good dear.", she answers in her calm voice, "What about you?"
"Okayish, I'd say.", your voice wavers, "Just stressed with finals and career choices."
"You should do whatever you feel like doing.", she advices, patting your head.
"My parents want me to handle the family business which I don't want.", you ramble, knowing that ranting about it to everyone won't change anything.
"Then fight for it", Mrs. Hong says, "Go to hell and back, take all of it. It's always better to try than to have regrets for life."
You nod, somewhat finding new confidence to have the conversation with your parents again.
"Your son must be lucky to have you as a parent, Mrs. Hong.", you comment with sincerity, "You know there's one thing I have always wanted. For my parents to ask me what do I want."
You place all your items on the checkout counter and solemnly tell her, "Mrs. Hong, you should also ask your son what he wants. You know as we grow up, we discover new interests, our choices change. You're a sensible parent so I want you to be the cool mom and support his descisions, whatever it maybe be."
Mrs. Hong stiffens for a moment. Her mind reels back to a lot of things and she has been complacent with Joshua on this matter.
"Mrs. Hong?", your concerned voice reaches her, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said anything."
You are suddenly pulled into her embrace and she thanks you.
"You might have unknowingly done me a huge favour.", she whispers on the top of your head.
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"He has been cranky lately", Mingyu hums as he recollects, "Mostly cooped up in his room, doesn't even open up to me."
You and Hyerin grimace at his words.
"Did he shout at you?", you ask in hopes that it's only you but it's just a phase and Joshua is mad at every one.
Mingyu pouts because he knows the answer he's gonna give you is nowhere going to make you feel better.
"No, actually we went to arcade yesterday. He blew off his steam at that poor basketball machine but we're good. Like normal, just he's a bit more serious nowadays."
You slouch down and Hyerin glares at her boyfriend.
"It's okay, love. I think you should confront him asap.", Hyerin wraps her arm around your shoulder as she throws pointed eyes at her boyfriend.
Mingyu seems to take the hint and says, "I'm there to help you, just tell me what I need to do."
"For the starters, give me his number.", you insist, almost on verge pleading, "If I can't get through him, then help me to meet him alone."
"Okay ma'am!", Mingyu immediately takes his phone and sends you Joshua's contact.
"Thanks Gyu", you say and getting up sweep a glance at the couple, "Gotta go, I need to help Han to design the cover."
"Keep us posted Y/N."
You nod in acknowledgement at Mingyu's words.
Walking down the alley, you contemplate a lot of things, life is tough, yours is toughest.
Nothing seems to work out for you.
You want a career, your parents don't resonate with you.
You like a guy, he suddenly starts to hate your entire existence.
Taking out your phone you open Mingyu's chat to save Joshua's contact.
Just as you proceed to add it to a pops up appears.
Do you want replace the contact name from Anonymous to Joshua?
Your eyes go round like saucers as you re read the sentence again and again.
You trace back and confirm that it's actually Anonymous.
Joshua Hong is actually Anonymous!
"What are you playing at? Don't you already have my number. Stop messing with me."
Joshua's words ring in your mind and everything made sense to you now. That also meant he had come to the café and left without meeting you, misunderstanding the whole situation.
You immediately call Jeonghan only to cancel on him.
Next, you're calling Mingyu and as soon as he picks up you say, "Gyu, please anyhow bring Joshua to that old park, I need to talk to him, it's urgent."
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Joshua is startled when Mingyu suddenly barges into his room and starts tugging on his sleeves.
"I need a help from you Josh", he says and Joshua could sense the urgency in his voice, "We have to be somewhere."
As an unsuspecting and good friend he was, he immediately agreed on it.
Suddenly he is dropped off outside the park with Mingyu saying, "Go inside and you'll know it", before riding away in his bike.
Joshua stands there for a moment, utterly confused but anyways walks into the park.
You wait for him, biting off almost all of your nails.
You figure out his silhouette approaching and you could also see his face morphing from confusion to distaste on seeing you.
"Is this some kind of prank?", Joshua yells out, "Very irritating."
You are prepared to hear all the harsh words and off word gazes you're gonna get.
You are also adament to dissolve the misunderstandings and confess your feelings for him today.
"I think there's a misunderstanding, you need to listen to me.", you speak stepping ahead.
Joshua doesn't respond and you take it as your cue to continue.
"I asked Mingyu for your number today.", you continue carefully, "That's when I came to know you are Anonymous."
Joshua scoffs, "You really think I'm gonna buy it? What do you take me for Y/N?"
"I'm not lying --"
"Oh so you're telling you bumping into me right after I texted you that night is pure coincidence? Pairing up for detention classes was also a mere coincidence? Don't you know it's quite weird, how I got to see you each and everywhere, often, more and more just after I hit you up with those texts.", Joshua's gaze is enough to cower you down, his words just added to his condescendness towards you.
"What are you getting at?", you ask bracing yourself for another set of insults you knew that are going to come your way.
"You clearly knew that it was me the whole time.", he spats out, "You just wanted some attention because of the petty princess you are. Oh did I mention attention seeker too?"
"You're not in your right mind Joshua.", you warn him, "Don't say anything you're going to regret later."
"I'm not gonna regret anything. The only thing I regret is meeting you. Do you always do this?", he asks rather accuses you and you shot him a look.
"Do what?"
"Make guys believe that you like them and them tangle them into a trash relationship?", he chuckles bitterly, "I almost believed that you like me until I saw you with Jeonghan. Are you gonna take him to your safe place too? Were you gonna treat us the same as you treated Junsik?"
You freeze on hearing that name.
"How do you know about Junsik?", your eyes sting and voice falters, "What do you know about him?"
"Does it matter now?", he disregards you totally, "You are really sick for playing me like that because I really liked you..."
You perk up at his words, the pain in your heart never subduing but tearing it into infinite pieces.
"But fortunately, it isn't too late.", his words are venomous, more than he could realise, "I want to see you ever again. So do me a favour and never show your face again."
Your sobs doesn't stop until you're biting your tongue to the point where the metallic taste fills your mouth.
You lift your gaze to look at him past your wet lashes, "I also liked you Joshua, like a lot. Gosh I might be in lov-", you fist your hands focusing on them to not break down, "But your wish is granted."
You only say that much before walking past him.
The door to your heart, through which Joshua was making his way is cemented now.
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"He said what?", Hyerin is raging and you are the one actually keeping her in check instead of getting comforted.
"Kim Mingyu what kind of bastard your best friend is?", she yells at her boyfriend, "Why are you even friends with him?"
"I still can't believe Joshua could say all this.", Mingyu mumbles, "I was quite sure that he liked you back and he obviously liked talking to Anonymous which turns out to be you."
"Leave it guys", you speak meekly through your sore throat, "It's all over--"
"It's not over, how dare he bring up Junsik?", Hyerin is sure she's going to commit manslaughter today, "What does he know about him?"
"I wonder", you sigh and lean against her shoulder.
"And he thinks, you were gonna double time him and Han?", she throws Joshua another punch at the gut in her head, "Who does he think he is? That bastard I'm-- I'm gonna ugh!"
Mingyu breaks into cold sweat on looking at his girlfriend, grimaces on watching you and fumes in anger when thinks about Joshua.
"Something must have happened, he ain't always like this.", Mingyu comments and is met by a death glare from Hyerin but he continues, "We need get it out of him."
"Whatever guys", you climb on your bed, laying down, "If you want me as your friend then never bring up Joshua ever again. I'm being serious right now.", you pull over the comforter and point your index towards the door, "Thanks for coming but now you both please get out."
Once the door slams shut, all the tears you've been holding stream down as you indulge in self dejection and that broken heart of yours bleeds in scarlet red. A colour so beautiful yet vicious.
A colour that Joshua gave you so brutally.
Joshua Hong was cruel to you and you pledge you're not going to give him the luxury to hurt you again, you're going to be unbothered, apathetic and indifferent to him.
Joshua Hong is a just stranger to you now.
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Joshua doesn't immediately leave from the park. He takes a seat on one of the rusty swing and cools down. And while doing so his mind lingers back on the recent episode he had with you.
Joshua is generally a calm guy, a bit cranky but mostly calm. So when his own voice echoes in his mind saying those words to you, he topples with guilt.
He knows he went overboard and he was the actual sick one for bringing up your ex into the conversation.
But words once said cannot be taken back.
Letting the emotions get consume you is never a wise choice and Joshua made that mistake today.
His heart constricts when he remembers your tear stained cheeks, hurt eyes and maimed demeanor.
"I also liked you Joshua, like a lot. Gosh I might be in lov-"
He laughs. He is humored at how sincere you sounded when you were lying.
A Jack of Fools.
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You are watching an interesting movie on your phone when someone taps you on your shoulder.
You crane your neck to see Jeonghan, seriousness ghosted over his face.
"What happened?"
He heaves a sigh and takes the sit across you.
"Before you start", you say getting up, "Let me bring something to eat."
Joshua enters the canteen and is displeased to see it extremely crowded. He searches and gladly he finds an unoccupied seat which he quickly takes.
On sweeping his gaze he finds Jeonghan occupying the table in front to his so he seats with his back faced to the later.
That's when he sees you passing by and hears a screech of chair. You place the food tray on the table as you take the seat opposite to Jeonghan's, and behind you is where Joshua is seated.
You don't notice Joshua.
"Spill.", you say, passing him a plate.
Jeonghan relents. He stays quiet for a moment before he's speaking, "It's about Seji."
You nod and wait for him to continue.
"We've been talking again.", he says and he wants to say a lot more but he cuts it down to, "My feelings are resurfacing."
"Your feelings for her were never gone.", you shrug poking the food on your plate you continue, "Look I don't get what the concept of being on & off is, so either you both get back or cut each other off. Otherwise I'm sorry but this looks very toxic to me."
"You're always so brutally honest", Jeonghan mops, "and have a clear conscience that's why I always confide in you."
"Oh, it's nice to hear that, someone just called me liar, sick and all sorts of synonyms it could go for.", You say meekly.
Joshua who has been eavesdropping, in his defence he had no choice as they sat behind him, it was all audible.
Jeonghan gasps in disbelief, "Who do I need to chain on? Tell me."
You give him a knowing smile and Jeonghan understands.
"Joshua berated you?", he ask gently, "I thought you were going to confess your feelings to him?"
Joshua freezes.
Then he hears a sob.
"Please, please don't cry. I don't know what happened but he doesn't deserve your tears.", Jeonghan rushes over to you as he hands you his handkerchief, "Gosh, I can't believe someone could hurt you so much. Promise I won't ever bring him up again, stop crying please."
You shake your head, wiping your tears, "I-I liked him a lot Han. And he said I was gonna double time with you and him."
Joshua hisses, he's ashamed.
Jeonghan sees red when he hears this, "He said what? No, I need to find him and beat the shit out of him. What a jerk, good riddance Y/N. Curse him all out now."
"Please Han", you tug on his sleeves, "He doesn't deserve any of this attention. I don't even want to hear his name anymore."
Jeonghan seethes but he decides to let it go for now. He would definitely deal with Joshua later.
"How about I take you that bakery? We can have everything you want!", he tries to cheer you up.
But you shake your head in protest, "You already bribed me so much for a mere cover design Han. I shouldn't rob you anymore."
Jeonghan rolls eyes, "Please it's not a mere cover, it requires so much effort and even though you're crammed with your tasks, you decided help me diligently."
"Fine.", you say, "You better sort things out with Seji and I'll text you when I work over on what discussed on before."
Joshua is this close to turn around, the apologies being on the tip of his tongue.
But you are leaving and Jeonghan follows you not before throwing a glare at the back of the person about whom you both just had a conversation.
Jeonghan knew about Joshua sitting exactly behind you this whole time.
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"Hey mom", Joshua greets as he sits on the tool, "You wanted to discuss something?"
Mrs. Hong is standing by the kitchen counter, your words have been ringing in her head since that day and she wants her only son to know that he doesn't need to feel burdened if at all he has been feeling so.
"I want to ask something and I'm expecting an honest answer from you."
Joshua straightens in his seat as his attentive eyes fixates on his mother.
"What do you want to do Shua?", she elaborates when she see creases on his forehead out of confusion, "As in your choice for a career?"
Joshua's eyes goes round, as this was totally unexpected to him, something he had been meaning to bring this topic but never had the courage.
It suddenly felt like a blessing as he collects his thoughts and frames the sentence in his mind before speaking out.
"Mom, I don't want to be a lawyer.", he says and waits for his mother's reaction.
Mrs. Hong falters a bit but she quickly regains her composure.
Joshua notices, it's natural and expected, so he continues, "I don't know what I want to do but it's definitely not law mom. Just for clinging onto it because it was dad's profession, I don't wanna regret it later, have depression and blame everyone for it."
Mrs. Hong walks over to her son and pulls him into her embrace, "Why didn't you tell me before?"
"I wanted to mom but I didn't have the courage to break your heart, knowing how much you treasure everything related to dad.", he whispers, voice wavering, "But won't dad be happier if I follow my passion and live in content?"
"Yes, he'd be so happy. I'm sorry for being so ignorant", Mrs. Hong sobs, "I should have been more attentive. You're allowed to do whatever you want Shua."
Joshua smiles in relief, a big weight being lifted off his chest.
"Thanks mom.", he say sincerely, "Thanks a lot."
"We both should be thanking that girl.", Mrs. Hong laughs, wiping her years and also patting her son's back.
"Who?", Joshua quips up.
"Oh you wouldn't know her." she says, "She made me realise that parents often take matters related to their children for granted and for providing them expect something in return."
"Please thank her on my behalf.", Joshua requests.
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Next day, Joshua reaches the classroom as soon as he could because it's the only class he shares with you.
He just wants to see you.
You enter the class minutes after he does. Joshua's gaze is on you, you are aware but your gazes never meet, not when you walk past him and sit in the back.
In today's class, you are gonna get to know the project topics and will be assigned partners for completing the same.
Joshua hopes he get paired with you.
You pray to get assigned with anyone but Joshua.
"You can choose your partners.", the teacher announces, "In groups of two."
You groan, definitely luck not your side because you knew no one except one and the one you knew you'd never pair up with him.
Joshua is sure that universe is giving him a chance and with his new found confidence, he walks upto the walks to your desk.
When you see Joshua walking your way, you think he's gonna pass by but instead he halts infront of you.
You are going to be unbothered, apathetic and indifferent to him.
"Hi Y/N..", he says with hesitancy.
You don't even spare him a glance.
Even though he's sweating and up on his toes, he asks, "Will you be my partner for this project?"
"No.", you say resting your face on the palms of your hands, still not looking at him, "Thanks for asking though."
"I'm sorry Y/N.", he just wants you to look at him atleast but you don't make any effort to do so, "I went overboard that day. Said many things I shouldn't have. I just--"
"You have said all the things you wanted to say because you wanted to hurt me.", you crane your neck to lips curl up in a mocking smile, "You don't have to apologise to look good to yourself specially when you don't mean it. Don't be a hypocrite and let's pretend to not know each other from now on."
You are standing up, grabbing your notebook as you continue, "Since you don't want to see my face, don't talk to me."
Joshua's words are coming to bit him back as pure venom.
You take out your phone, "Look here, I'm doing this infront of you so that you can get assured."
Joshua's curious gaze falls on the screen and his heart drops when he gets your intention.
"See I'm blocking your number.", you press on the block button and your thumb hovers over the delete button, "And now I'll delete your contact. Rest assured, you won't be bothered by me."
Joshua stays rooted to the ground until the teacher calls his name.
Fortunately, you don't get paired with Joshua.
"I don't want to see his face, let alone talk to him", Hyerin barks, literally barks, "You're calling in for your best friend's murder, I'm warning you."
Mingyu agrees that he's hypothetically plotting a murder by letting his girlfriend meet his best friend.
"Babe, when I said we need to get the root of this, we are gonna do so.", Mingyu warns Hyerin, "Now, when Joshua walks in through the door, I'll talk to him. You only speak when needed."
Hyerin huffs, "Lucky that I love you."
Mingyu grins and pecks her lips.
The door creaks open and Hyerin scoffs, "Here comes the idiot."
Joshua doesn't have a good feeling, specially seeing Hyerin who's constantly glaring at him and he thinks that's enough to drill holes into his skull.
"Hi guys", he tries to initiate a conversation, "Why did you wanna meet?"
"First, what you did Y/N was very lowly", Mingyu says, "I'm very disappointed in you."
Joshua sits quietly, hanging his head low.
"What do you know about Junsik?", Hyerin interrogates, "How do you know him?"
Joshua fiddles with his fingers and sits wordless.
"We're not here to look at your face, you better open that stupid mouth of yours like you had done that day.", Hyerin barks again, her patience wearing thin.
"Hyejoo told me about him.", Joshua says and looks up at her.
Hyerin stiffens, all the words she was about to gurgle gets stuck in her throat.
Joshua finds an opportunity and he relays everything that happened to the couple.
"You should have asked me about Jeonghan atleast.", Mingyi sighs, "And how could you bring up Junsik when you don't even know a thing about him?"
"Junsik was Y/N's first, well only boyfriend till now", Hyerin reveals, "who had dumped her over a text because he fell in love with a new chick in the school he just got transferred to. He just threw away a relationship of two years just like that."
"She has been aloof since then. Always reluctant to make friends, didn't show interest in other guys", she looks dead in his eyes, "Until you came along. But it's her bad luck, you also turned out to be a douche. And she was so excited to meet Anonymous until you intently stood her stood. I hope karma to be an actual bitch to you."
Joshua feels like he has been pushed into the trench, like what he deserves.
Hyerin feels humiliated because she had never thought that her sister could be so much of a menace.
She gets up and Mingyu looks at her alarmingly.
Placing her hand on his hand in assurance she tells, "Hyejoo needs to be taught a lesson so I need to go. I'll drop by Y/N's to apologize to her."
"Babe, don't blame yourself okay?", he says affectionately as he wraps his arms around her waist, "It's not your fault. Just go & handle the things your way."
She turns to look at Joshua, "I wonder how long you have known Hyejoo to believe all the shit she uttered that day."
The door slams and Joshua breathes out.
"I like her a lot, Gyu.", Joshua says in distress and Mingyu scoffs.
"Who, Hyejoo?", he counters, "Because that's the only plausible option I can think of."
"Right, I deserve to be mocked.", he admits, "You're so dumb Joshua Hong."
"Stop being miserable than you already are and if you are ready serious about Y/N, then make it up to her and confess your feelings.", Mingyu suddenly grins as he says, "I hope you get rejected five times before she accepts you."
Joshua could only grimace at his words. You couldn't pinpoint since when it started but you have been receiving some items with a cute note everyday. First time it was a mini bouquet that was kept in your locker with the note saying-
Like a bouquet tied with twine, I can be yours if you will be mine.
From, Your Anonymous
You didn't read much into, thinking someone must have mixed up the locker numbers. Next day, you found a miniature panda with another note saying- In a room full of basic brown bears, you are my panda.
From, Your Anonymous This time the gears in your brain turn harder when you reread the note. A lightbulb goes off and you find the literal meaning of the words at the end.
Your Anonymous means Your Anonymous in literals who is none other then Joshua Hong. That note and the teddy goes straight into the trash can. Third day, you find a strawberry juice can and a note which makes you snort.
You're the grenadine in my tequila sunrise. Without you, I'm just this strawberry juice.
From, Your Anonymous. "Now he's playing on my weakness.", you mumble eyeing the can, not having the heart to chuck it into the trash can.
Joshua watches as your stand there in dilemma with a grin set on his lips. The strawberry juice can ultimately doesn't show up in the trash can.
One day, you are climbing up the stairs reading an article on your phone when you bump into someone.
Very surprising, you find Joshua in front of you.
"Can I talk to you for a moment?", he asks and you dismiss him immediately turning to go on a seperate way when he says, "It's urgent, please."
You tail behind him as he leads to you a random empty class. You lean against the wall, Joshua stands at a distance.
"Tomorrow is my mom's birthday and I bought her a dress.", he starts explaining, "I accidentally tore a button...."
Silence fills in the air and Joshua watches you intently for any reaction. He watches your eyes go wide in absolute disbelief and next you're hitting him on his arm,   "Such an idiot", another hit, "Where's the dress? We need to fix it soon." Joshua is overjoyed but he doesn't show. "It's at home.", Joshua says, "Do you want me to bring it to school?" You roll eyes, "Have you thrown the remaining 1% of your brain in gutter?" Joshua nods, resembling a kicked puppy. An adorable kicked puppy. Your heart twists abnormally in your chest, no he's not the guy you like anymore, get a grip on yourself, he can be all cute but it doesn't effect you anymore-- "Y/N?" "Yes?" "So..."
"Oh yeah-- I don't have classes anymore so if it's okay with you then we can go now.", you offer curtly, "Since her birthday is tomorrow, we don't have time." You awkwardly stand in the middle of the hall as Joshua goes somewhere seeking for his mother. You hear their voices, not able to make anything coherent out of it as the padding sound of footsteps against the floor increases. Joshua walks in followed by his mother so when you see her you almost shriek in shock, "Mrs. Hong?" "Y/N?", Mrs. Hong, pushes her sone aside and runs to hug you, "Oh my, what a pleasant surprise!" Joshua stands as confused as ever as he watches you both gush about each other. "Shua", his mother calls, "I was talking about her, she's you were seeking for. Thank her yourself." Joshua feels all the air leaving his lungs at once. It's you, again. The same girl who he had trash talked straight on her face. The same girl who is present in his house just to help him. The same girl who he likes loves. He leads you to his room and the entire time you could sense the sudden shift in his aura. Crossing threshold of his room, hits you with a surge of Joshua. You look around, watching a large poster of LeBron James pasted on the wall adjacent to his bed. A huge stack of books about economics pilled up on his study table and a neatly made bed. "Here", Joshua lays the dress on the bed and hand you detached button, "How long will it take?" You deadpan, "Hardly 5 minutes." His face falls like tons of brick and it's so obvious that you had to stiffle a laugh. The dress is beautiful, you think but it's plain, too plain for your eyes and your hands itch but you should have no business with dress apart from stitching that button back. Joshua notices and he knows what's going on inside that mind of your. He trusts you, he wants you stay longer so he plays it down, "Don't you think the dress is simple. I bought it because that colour is beautiful and rare." You perk up at his words and Joshua swears he could melt into puddle if he'd stare at your doe eyes one more second. "I could stitch a flower towards the left flange of the dress.", you ponder over and ask, "What's her favourite flower?" "Daisies", he answers. "Oh that will be comparatively easy", you clasp your hands in excitement, "A simple satin stitch would do." Joshua looks at you with all the attentiveness in the world. His heart swells and he realises that it's been long he has stopped crushing over you. His heart yearns for you and maybe that's the reason he was hurt and raged seeing Jeonghan with you. He admits to loving you, he hopes that you'd give him another chance just to show that how much you mean to him. "Give me the dress", you are already searching designs on your phone, "It will take around 4-5 hours. Come and get it by 9." "Can I be with you?", he asks and you shot him a look. "What are you gonna do, except for bothering me?", you quip back, "Don't you hate me?" "I lov-- I won't bother you promise. Just let me be with you." His underlying tone resonates in your ears and heart does flips when you look him in the eyes. Brimming with emotions (read: love) "I don't have any other choice, do I?"
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"Can you stop staring at me?", you finally blurt out, "Also, if you could not breathe on my neck!" Joshua doesn't bother listening to you, he's just having the time of his life watching you closely, basking in your presence. You are almost done with stitching the embroidery and Joshua yet again raises his hand to your mouth urging you to eat the pastry, one of the enormous amount of items he bought for you, emphasizing it's his way of saying thanks. "I can eat it myself--" "But both of your hands are occupied." This reasoning would take you nowhere. He has been acting as a lovesick soul, touch starved body and happy fool around you. And it's certainly not helping your heart in keeping check. You have finally embroidered the daisies and it turned out prettier than you had expected. "You can work magic on fabrics you know.", Joshua sincerely complements you, "Thanks a lot Y/N." "No big deal.", you smile, "Mrs. Hong is an amazing woman, she deserves all the love." Joshua gleans but suddenly remembers the purpose of crashing in your place. "Hey, there's a basketball game at my previous school on this weekend and I'd be playing, would you like to come?", Joshua asks. You look at him with a scowl on his your face, "Why don't you ask your Hyejoo to come with you?" Joshua almost scurries but it will be a lost battle if backs down now. "Am I not being obvious?", Joshua asks all seriousness ghosting over him. "What?" "Am I not being obvious with my feelings?", Joshua asks again. "What are you insinuating?" "I want you, only you, and no one else to come to my match. You matter to me because..", he breathes in, breathes out, shuts his eyes, open them just to say-- "I love you, Y/N." He does it. Says the words he had been meaning to tell you, the words those set themselves on the tip of his tongue whenever he saw you. "Josh..." He smiles at the slip of his nickname from you and leans in to you. "I was so mad when I saw you with Jeonghan, because I was jealous.", he admits, "I wanted to be the one feeding you, wanted to be the one hugging, to be the only one to closely watch that beautiful smile of yours." You are rendered speechless. But Joshua has so much to say. "The outburst I had, it was only because I realised I have been in love with you and the possibility of you not reciprocating, was hurting." He rummages through his bag and you see him taking out a jersey. "You don't have to say anything now.", he smiles and pats your head, "Think through and", he hands you the jersey, "Let me know on the match day." You lay the jersey on your bed and see a 17 imprinted on white below the name Joshua. Joshua is by the door when he calls your name, "Whatever your decision is, I'll respect it.", and he's out of your room and house. You don't know much about basketball but you know when a player gives their jersey to someone prior to a match, what do they want and what can the indications be. You let out a scream and immediately fetch your phone to dial a number, "Hello, Rin...."
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It's matchday. Joshua is nervous. Partially because of the game, partially because of you. When Seungcheol, a good friend and teammate of his from previous basketball school team had requested him to play one last game before they officially strike out his name from the team list, Joshua agreed instantly. A farewell game, he thought. The team does warm ups and stretches before the game starts. Joshua steals glances at the courtside every now and then but fails to find you. He's afraid that you won't come at all and his heart would shatter into millions. "Hey, looking there often won't make her magically appear.", Seungcheol knows and he teases, "I never thought our best shooting guard would be playing shooting hearts too." "Oh juicy juicy", Soonyoung, another teammate, who's also the centre of their team quips in when he overhears the two, "Joshua Hong is in love!!!", he shouts a little too loudly out of enthusiasm and now the whole team knows. The warm up is over and the game starts in twenty minutes.
Joshua checks his phone for one last time to see no notifications of your name and remembers you have his number blocked and contact deleted. Dejected, he switches off the device and deposits it to the collector, heading to change into his jersey. The game is already into the second quarter and Joshua's team is leading by only four points. Soonyoung slips causing his dribble to be cut and the opponent's point guard steals the ball and scores a two pointer. Soon the whistle blows and both the teams head to their respective locker rooms. As soon as Joshua enters the room, he's slammed against one of the locker by Seungcheol. He groans in pains at the sudden impact. "Listen dude, I get you're vagued but please don't let the team down. Coach is already contemplating on substituting you.", Seungcheol is frustrated, but he cares, "I want the best shooting guard within the entire school to score points. Stop being diverted and focus on the game." "Sorry", Joshua gruffs out, "I will--" "What the hell? Unhand him right now Mr.!" The whole locker room pivot their attention on the source of the voice. Joshua thinks he's hallucinating when he sees you standing in front of them, hands crossed over and brows cocked. Wearing his jersey and having his jersey number, 17 painted on your left cheek. Seungcheol looks at you, then he looks at Joshua to get the confirmation he needs. "It's her guys.", he announces with a huge grin as his hands free Joshua. Suddenly the locker room fills with  whistles, hoots and hollers. "Hi! Thanks for coming. I'm Soonyoung by the way.", a guy with questionably dyed hair greets you. "Hi, I'm Y/N...", you greet him back and gulp nervously when you realise all pair of eyes are on you. "We don't need to be here anymore it seems.", Mingyu tells Hyerin and the later nods, the two leaving to occupy their seats at the courtside. "Thanks in advance for saving the match.", Seungcheol comes to you and says, "And I'm Seungcheol, the captain." Then he looks at Joshua, "You have 10 minutes", and announces, "Clear out the room guys!" Everyone follows, all of them greeting you with huge grins making their way out. Now the two of you are left and the atmosphere turns heavy. You walk upto Joshua and grab his arms to shake him out of the trance. "Hi", you giggle. "You came...", Joshua whispers. You are about to say something but suddenly you feel yourself loose a footing as you are slammed against the locker, hands pinned over it. Joshua hovers over you, his body pressing yours and if you entire focus isn't on his lips, you could have heard both of your hearts beating rapidly. "Can't believe you agreed to be all mine, I don't deserve you ", he whispers leaning closer. "Just kiss me & seal the deal.", you bite your lips, gaze flicking to his eyes. "Gladly.", he smiles and closes the gap. Your lips are just touching when the whistle blows. You laugh, giving him a slight push, "Times up." Joshua tries to get back on you immediately but you manage to run out his grip and the room yelling, "Earn your kiss, babe!" And Joshua takes it personally. You never knew basketball matches could be this exciting and you regret not attending them previously. Oh the man, Joshua Hong is, your eyes are glued to him as he runs around the court with that sweat glistening glow on him. The game is now into it's last quarter and you squeal as Joshua scores a two pointer extending the lead. Everytime he scores, his teammates cheered looking at you and you're sure that the whole arena knows that Number 17 of home team is either trying to woo you or you both are already a thing. It's a few seconds until the game ends and opponents foul Joshua. All the players stand behind the three points line and the free line extension. You are brimming in anticipation as you see Joshua taking position at the base of the line. The home team needs their shooting guard to score the three points from the long shot. The long field goal which would seal the win. The referee blows the whistle, a cue for Joshua to shoot his shot.
Joshua takes a deep breathe, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips. The arena is pin drop silent all eyes on the man on the line. You breathe hitches when Joshua raises his hands holding the ball and looks at you. "This one's for you!", he yells and releases the ball looking forward. You swear the time slows down as the ball revolves on the ring, you admit dramatically, before it falls into the basket. The arena blasts with cheers and Joshua is already hurled over on his teammates' shoulder as they hail his name. You see him. He sees you. Then you're running down the stairs and jumping over the partition to reach him. The team hollers when they see you in the court. Putting down Joshua, they push you to him, circling the two of you as they chant in delight, "Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!" You grin looking at him which turns into a gasp when he suddenly grabs your hips and lifts you up. "Am I worthy of getting a kiss now?", he asks, smiling cheekily. Your response comes in form of you dipping down and placing your lips on his. You feel him smile against your lips as they slot into each other perfectly and he holds you to him tighter. "Get a room!" You both hear a yell, knowing it came from Mingyu. You are the one who breaks the kiss but Joshua pecks you one more before putting you down. The teases never simmer down for the rest of the evening.
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"Thanks for all backing me up the whole time I was talking to them, my parents even started looking for universities for fashion technology courses.", you sigh in content, resting your chin on your palm. "You did a lot more for me. Talking to my mom, making me signing up for the varsity training program and whatnot.", Joshua makes sure you know how grateful he'll always be. "Oh by the way I changed your contact back to Anonymous.", you inform him. "You can't do this your boyfriend!" Joshua props beside you, with pouty lips and doe eyes. "I can. I already did.", you deadpan. "Why should my contact be saved as Anonymous?", he tries to snatch your phone, "Change it to babe, love, sweetheart anything. "You glare at your dramatic boyfriend, "Because that's where it started. You are my Anonymous." Joshua grins, finding it somehow cute and romantic at stance. "Anonymously Mine.", you say. "Anonymously Yours", he echoes.
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Do not copy, re-post, translate, or share any of my works on other platforms! All stories are copyrighted, joonsytip. ©️
1K notes · View notes
nr1chaedickrider · 7 months
Text
'i just can't leave you alone.'
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need her so bad actually...... been thinking about perv nayeon sooo much.. real jihyo fans know where the title is from hehehe
cw: kinda stalker nayeon??, voyeurism (idk if its the right term but the members are next to them), unnie kink (aka nayeon gets turned on by you calling her unnie), dubcon, somnophilia, idk maybe even gaslighting? light bondage (hands are tied together)
not proofread bc its six in the morning im tired sorry for mistakes
_______________________________________
Nayeon, the oldest member of twice, is especially known for her love for the maknae line, especially you. Being the youngest member with 23, she always took care of you like the good unnie she is!!
But what if her care for you goes too far?
_______________________________________
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!" the member flood the gc with messages as soon you wake up.
You're now 24 years old.
You already know that the members planned something for you, especially nayeon.
She is behaving weird since some weeks...
Pictures of you sleeping appearing in your room after you come back home from schedule.. Its like she is watching you.
But its normal... right???
Its nothing bad. Or weird.
_______________________________________
You dress up, walking to the living room since its now later in the day, and the members of course want to celebrate with their dear maknae.
"hi guys" you greet them as you walk into the living room, they all smile at you and hug you, nayeon hugging you, but not wanting to let go.
"I love you so much Y/n, happy birthday!! Ive prepared something special just for you.." she whispers the last part. Sending you shivers down your spine.
You try ignoring it, starting conversations with your members, playing games, drinking and other stuff.
But it was like someone was watching you the whole time.
Of course, after some time, the members (actually mostly just jeongyeon and jihyo..) want to play with minas switch, so they start playing mario party. Nayeon sits down next to you on the couch while the other members are busy being competitive.
You feel a finger trace your thigh under the blanket.
You look at Nayeon who smirks at you.
"Nayeon- what are you doing" you whisper-shout, taking her hand and putting it away.
"Shhh.. you dont want them to hear, dont you?" she whispers into your ear, nibbling on it as she places her hand on your core.
"i-" your shocked.
Why is she doing this?
She cant.
She is like your big sister!
"nayeon stop-" you try pushing her away without the members noticing.
She thrusts her fingers inside, making you let out a whine which you quickly cover eith a cough.
The members are too busy playing those stupid games.
You try to hide your moaning, it feels good... But you cant do this.
"nayeon please-" you still try to push her away, her fingers burried deep inside of you.
She pulls her fingers out.
"Come to my room in an hour." she whispers seducingly in your ear.
What is she doing?
_______________________________________
You stand infront of Nayeons door, knocking.
Once, Twice.
She pulls you into her room, shutting the door and locking it.
A soft black silk cloth touches your wrist. You cant even progress what happens.
She pushes you to her bed, your wrists tied together in a tight knot.
"Nayeon-" you try to say something but she pushes you so much, you fall onto the bed.
She looks down at you, only know you realise she has almost nothing on.
"Im tired of doing this only when you're asleep.." she says, sitting down on your lap as she starts kissing your neck, sucking on it like a wild animal.
You let out some whimpers.
"Nayeon please- what do you mean-" you look at her while she eagerly takes of your shirt.
Your bra lands on the floor right after she took of your shirt.
"Your nipples are so hard... You just want me to suck them. Dont you baby?"she grins. Taking one of your erected buds in her mouth, sucking, nibbling on it.
A part of you enjoys it.
But most parts of you need to know what he fuck she said before..
"n-ahhyeon-", you try saying, "what do you mean with in my sleep-" you try silencing your moans. But damn is she good at this.
"Oh about that?" she smirks, leaving your nipple as she looks at you.
She gropes your tits with her hand as she smiles.
"I have been watching you in your sleep.. These cute pictures of you sleeping? I took them! They look amazing dont they?" she says so.. proudly?
"i-.. this is weird nayeon- you're perverted!" you say, trying to free yourself from the cloth that is tied to your hands.
"And what if i am?" she says, taking off your pants as well as your underwear.
"Your panties are so soaked.. you are enjoying this while calling me a perv??" she says smiling, her cold, long finger slowly circling your clit.
You whine a little. "No nayeon-" she continues circling your clit, slowly starting to rub it, with less and less softness.
"You want this. I know it.. or else you wouldnt react like this." she moves her finger to your face, showing you how its full of your slick.
"i-" you can feel yourself blush.
She shoves her fingers inside of your mouth, "suck." she demands you. You look at her weirdly, then slowly. You start to suck.
"Such a good girl for a perv." she whispers as she kisses your neck again, leaving marks here and there. You continue sucking on her fingers. The praise making you want this even more.
I mean a little pervertness cant hurt...?
She pulls out her fingers, and without even a warning, just shoves into your hole in a second.
You let out a louder moan.
She moves them fast, so eagerly.
"your moans sound better when you're awake.." she says, sucking on your nipple while her fingers are thrusting in and out of you.
Everything is overwhelming.
You start to sweat, your breaths are cut short. Your heart beats rapidly.
All because of Nayeon.
Already after some minutes, you feel yourself clench around nayeon fingers.
"Nayeon- i-"
"Cum for me princess." she interrupts you.
The princess sends you off as you cum onto her fingers, letting out a louder moan.
She slowly pulls her fingers out.
'Click' you look at nayeon, she took a picture???
"I should show this to her.." Nayeon says while smirking.
"Her?? What do you mean-" you ask, very confused.
"You will see." she says. Taking her clothes off.
"But now lets get back to us."
632 notes · View notes
luvrxbunny · 5 months
Note
I need something borderline illegal. Like dark and twisted. Like I want to question my moral compass but read on.
Am I asking for dad’s best friend!Joel? pshhhhhh. Am I asking for bratty! reader?? Pshhhhhh. Am I asking for anything???
Am I asking for smutty smut?! Yes I am.
Ofc if you are uncomfortable with any of these don’t hesitate to ignore this and also no pressure ily ❤️
a/n: reader isn't bratty, im sorry! i forgot :((
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sleep
pairing: dbf!Joel Miller x f!virgin!reader
summary: Joel can’t stay away from you any longer.  
warnings: 18+ MDNI, alcohol, voyeurism/somnophilia + dub-con, dry humping, cum in pants
wc: 4.0k
a/n: i hope this is dark enough!! the only reason the ask is a ss instead of the actual thing is cus i formatted the whole story then realized i forgot to put it in the reply to the ask (loosely proofread)
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It’s 2 am and Joel can’t stop thinking about you. How you’re sleeping soundly in his room, in his bed, in his shirt as pajamas because you had “forgotten to pack some”, something you both knew was a lie. He knows you’re toying with him, you started a bit before, but since you’ve turned 18? It's just been on rapid fire. 
He pulls out his phone and scrolls through your text thread, scoffing at every other conversation. It was so apparent, in every text, how badly you want him. 
Mon, Aug 16 at 4:41 AM
bbg: big man! text me when u wake up i have a joke
You: Why are you awake at this time?
bbg: wtf why are YOU awake 🤨 
You: I have trouble sleeping, you know that.
bbg: aww poor joey 😢
You: Are you going to answer my question, darling?
bbg: im doing skincare and stuff
You: You have to wake up this early for that stuff?
bbg: can’t put a price on feeling bonita 
You: Why are you speaking Spanish now?
bbg: nevermind lmao
bbg: so have u tried meditation
You: What?
bbg: for your sleeping troubles
You: I’m not that kind of guy.
bbg: what about getting off
You: Excuse me? 
bbg: like masturbation n stuff
You: I know what you’re saying.
You: I don’t understand why you’re talking about this with me.
bbg: we haven’t even talked about it 😭 
bbg: obviously we can end the convo if ur uncomfy but its a very good way to fall asleep
He remembers needing a pause after he read that text for the first time. It had only been four months since your birthday and you were already drastically different. Joel never expected it, he always thought your feelings had already reached their limit but it turns out you were holding back because you weren’t of age. Now that you are… He doesn’t know what he’s going to do. His morals may not be strong enough for the thought of  “ his best friend's daughter” to hold him back. He’s already rationalized himself out of the “daughter's best friend” thought. You’re not even going to school together anymore. Sarah lives on campus so you guys never see each other and you barely ever text. 
You: I have not.
bbg: what? literally how? 
bbg: you should
bbg: it totally works
You: That’s good to know. 
You: Get back to your skincare, honey. I’ll message you later. 
Mon, Aug 16 at 5:03 AM
bbg: joel? 
Mon, Aug 16 at 5:37 AM
bbg: are you masturbating? 
You: Sweetheart. You can’t ask me things like that. It’s not right.
bbg: u didnt answer! i got curious
You: Still.
bbg: i dont see the problem we’re both adults 🫢
You: Barely.
bbg: dont be mean
You: Do you need something
You: I said I’d text you later
bbg: wow no punctuation?
You: Busy
bbg: getting off? 
He remembers staring at your text, unbelieving that you’d send him something like that, so forward, so dirty. He remembers the thought that you were joking. Obviously, you don’t expect him to say yes, that’s why you asked in the first place. Maybe his perverted mind was interpreting your behavior as flirting but you’re just being yourself around him. All these thoughts were swirling in his head but the feeling of his hand flying over his cock, pretending it’s yours, that you're in his ear whispering to him... That thought was stronger, that feeling was stronger. 
You: Yes.
bbg: good. have fun, joey
He gets up for his fourth beer, hoping to drown the impure thoughts, starring you, that plague his mind. It’d be so easy to have you, you’ve been throwing yourself at him since you turned 17. He’s been ignoring it, adamantly. It wasn’t right, despite the age difference, the fact that you’re his daughter’s best friend and his best friend’s daughter. On top of that, you only just turned 18. 
You’ve been staying at Joel’s for a month. He takes the guest room because you say that his bed is better. You haven’t gone home because your dad is still working on your birthday present/room renovations and he doesn't want you to see it until it’s done. He offered up Joel’s house to keep you, knowing his best friend wouldn't mind, unknowing that his best friend was corrupt for his daughter. 
Joel was trying to ignore the way his body was heating up, still scrolling through the texts. He remembers that conversation perfectly. He remembers the adrenaline that was coursing through him as he confessed. He remembers how hard he came at your response. When thinking about this conversation he also remembers the guilt, it’s the most vivid emotion he remembers, usually. But the alcohol seems to be drowning that part out, and Joel scrolls on. 
He finds a patch of texts that he actively avoids, usually. It’s picture after picture of you in the most adorable outfits in the most suggestive positions. There are plenty of you lying on your back, some with your head turned to show off your perfectly curved, unmarked, un-bitten, neck. There are a few where you’re sitting down with the camera angled up, giving Joel too many situations his head can come up with. Then there’s the worst one, his favorite- he doesn’t even know how you took this one. You’re sitting on your knees, hands rested on your thighs and you’re looking up at the camera with a shy smile. 
There are two things about this photo that really fuck him up. 
First, your smile, the way it lets him know that you’re trying to fuck him up, you know what you’re doing with this pose, this positioning, you’re even embarrassed by it, a little nervous about it but you still felt the need to take the photo, for him. 
Second, the height, and the way the camera is positioned shows him that these photos were specifically crafted for him because the height the camera is at is exactly how he’d see you if you were on your knees like that for him. 
You made sure that he noticed because the very next day, you needed him to tie a bow in your hair and instead of waiting for him to get off the couch you placed yourself on the ground, between his legs, in this pose. He had to hide his erection until you left and then fight the urge to get himself off in your room for the rest of the night. 
He glances at his room door, you’re sleeping so soundly in there.
She wouldn’t even notice if someone went in there right now. She definitely wouldn’t notice me… Hell, as if she’d mind either way… I mean- Would she?
The alcohol clouds his thoughts, gives him bad ideas, and then convinces him that they’re good- this one being one of them. He grabs his almost-finished beer and heads to the fridge to grab a fifth one, knowing he’ll be in there for a while. 
He does this sometimes, you look so peaceful when you sleep… it’s the only time he can admire you without putting all his relationships at risk. He reaches the door and turns the knob slowly to avoid creaking. He enters the room, his socks padding his footsteps, and the darkness gives him no shadow. He moves one of your tops off of his desk chair and turns it to face your sleeping figure while placing his beers down. You’re already bringing a smile to his face. You’ve got your face shoved into one of his pillows, your arm tucked under it, and your leg is pulled up to your waist, sticking out from under his tan comforter. You’re wearing one of his hoodies for sleepwear—
Fuck.
and it doesn’t look like you have anything on your bottom half. It’s a little cold in his room so little goosebumps have bloomed over your exposed skin. He takes a swig of beer, finishing his fourth as he examines you. Your face twitches for a moment, your eyebrows furrow, and your nose twitches like a rabbit before calming back down. He opens the other beer and fills his mouth with it, hoping that the alcohol stops the fluttering in his stomach while he drinks it down. 
You shiver a bit but your leg doesn’t move, the goosebumps just become more prominent. His hand is reaching out for you before he can think, rubbing your calf gently to soothe and warm you up a bit. You let out a relieved sigh at his contact and your leg presses further into his warmth. He has to take a deep breath as his mind runs wild, convincing him that this is some sort of sign, that even in you’re sleep you’re trying to be closer to him, that he should just give in. 
No, she’s your best friend's daughter. Sure she’s her own person now, legally an adult, an’ can make decisions for herself… an’ yeah she’s not owned or controlled by anyone and just cause I’m friends with her father ain’t a fair reason to completely rule her out from being a potential partner… Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad… maybe it’s actually more fucked up for me to avoid her just cause of who birthed her. That’s totally not fair to her! I mean I know I wouldn't want anyone judging me based on who my parents are y’know? Maybe I should put myself in her shoes. 
His breathing speeds up as he breaks through his last piece of resistance. Now he’s just trying to figure out how soon he can have you. 
I’ll have to court her first, flirt with her a bit before asking her out to dinner, then maybe she’ll accept my offer to be my girlfriend by the third date… From there maybe she’ll have sex with me for the three-month anniversary… she might be a bit more timid than that but we’re looking at a four- five-month plan… That can work- I can definitely work with that.
You whine and stretch your body, your legs straighten and your arms spread out, you turn and rest one arm on top of your head before you lift your leg, bending it above your waist but with the other one this time. The new position leaves the blanket covering nothing but one of your inner thighs and to add insult to injury your raised arms lift his hoodie, revealing a beautiful sliver of your stomach. 
Or I could have her now.
The thought is too powerful to stop, his opportunity is too perfect, Ellie is out with whatever girl she’s currently entertaining, and Sarah doesn’t live here anymore. Your father would never be awake at this time and Joel is hard, wanting, and so so ready for you. He’s crawling into bed beside you after downing half his beer for the nerves. 
He shouldn’t. He knows he shouldn’t. 
He settles next to you and your leg presses into him again, searching for him and his warmth. You slowly turn to him as he stares at you, watching how sluggish your movements are in your sleep. You snuggle into the pillow in front of him and take a long inhale of its scent, a little smile resting on your lips while you breathe out. Your face is inches from his, and his hand is down his pants in an instant. 
The relief is heavenly, he’s been throbbing for you since he read those texts. He can’t help the way he reacts to you. He can smell your toothpaste on your breath as you gently snore in front of him. He wraps his warm hand around his cock and his soft lips part into an ‘O’. His eyes roll back for a second but he immediately focuses them back on you. He’s tugging at himself violently, not even thinking about savoring this moment, just needing to cum for you. He’s trying to hold in his sounds but you look so pretty, just seeing your face while he’s touching himself makes everything better, somehow you’ve turned his sensitivity as high as it can go.
Little whines and whimpers slip into your dream state. You’re confused by the sound, the rustling that coming from—? In front of you? Your brows furrow as you try to open your eyes. “Fuck” You hear someone say. It sounds like… 
You open your eyes just in time to see Joel yank his hand out of his sweatpants and scramble as far as he can get from you before falling off the bed. You’re still confused as you take his form in. His shirt has ridden up a bit, exposing the salt and pepper hairs on his tummy. His hair is sticking all over the place, he stinks of beer, and his eyes are wide, focused on you. “Joey?”
Despite the horrid situation he’s in, his cock is still leaking for you, pulsing at the nickname. He can’t answer, he has to bite back a moan as he feels himself leak into the fabric of his pants. “Joel? What—” Your eyes flutter, almost falling shut but you shake yourself out of it and— Fuck.
You move closer to him. 
You’re too snuggly when you’re sleeping, too cute, and too dumb. You’re not even questioning why your father’s best friend was in bed with you while you were sleeping. You don't want to risk him leaving and you don’t mind in the first place, you actually thought you were dreaming at first. Your heart almost stopped when your fingers actually latched onto his shirt after reaching out for him. He’s stiff as a board, deterring your touch so you pull your hands into your chest and bury your face in his. 
Joel is almost shaking in exertion as you press your soft little body against his. It’s just your upper half, leaning into him and finding wam solace in his chest. He can handle this, he thinks. He can calm down, and be with you like this. He’s supposed to court you first anyway, he can’t believe himself. Was he really going to just get off with you in the same bed? What kind of pervert would even try something like that?
You hike your leg up over his waist, half asleep, not realizing your motions. 
All his perverted feelings return with a vengeance. 
You wiggle around a bit, trying to get comfortable but his cock twitches, flicking into your soft lips for a moment. At first, you really didn’t know what it was, all you knew was that the sensation felt good. So of course you chased it. Your hips grind into his cock arrhythmically, trying to find that same angle again, not realizing that you’re basically fucking him through your clothes. His hands have to come to your hips, gripping painfully for your eyes to snap open and your hips to freeze. 
Your eyes widen further when you finally process the situation, and even in all your teasing and sensuality, at the end of the day, you’re still just a virgin. You never had any real intention of acting on your desires, especially if Joel wasn’t the one initiating. 
Oh fuck. What did I do? What do I do? He’s just staring at me… Maybe he didn’t notice, I didn’t! But it felt so good. Will he let me? Maybe if I—
Your hips tilt into his before you can process whether this is actually a good idea or not. His hand tense over yours, like another shock of clarity through your bones. You shut your eyes tight, not wanting to see the disgust or uncomfortable pity in his face. “I’m so sorry, Joel. I didn’t… I-”
You try not to let tears well in your eyes as you whimper and pull back from him. But he doesn’t let you. His arms tense, his muscles flexing as he keeps your body pressed against his. You open your eyes, a bit shocked at his refusal to let you go but still too scared to meet his eyes. Your gaze is on his stomach, the way his gray shirt rode up, exposing the way his belly keeps tensing with every breath. “I-” He manages to get out before letting out a shuddering sigh. You finally look at him. 
His eyebrows are pulled taut in between his eyes, his gaze is something you’ve never seen before, and he almost looks angry. It’s desperate, but sorrowful, with the added haze from his intoxication. He keeps biting at his bottom lip, worrying it red as he tries to form a sentence for you. His hands tense over your hips again but this time they tilt you into him again. His face is a hard grimace as he slowly presses you into his raging bulge. You watch him fight with his expression, it keeps breaking into something weak before he goes back to his angry pout. You can’t help the way you press into him, you want to feel it again, that fire in the pit of your stomach that spreads to your soaking pussy the more he pulls you in. You watch his face contort into something heavenly. His brows pull up, almost shocked at how good you feel as his eyes roll back and shut. His entire body shakes as he melts into the pillow. He’s breathing deep and slowly, trying to regulate the pleasure he feels. 
Now he’s focused on savoring the moment. He wants this to last as long as it possibly can. You’re making him feel incredible,  he’s so sensitive, it’s like he’s been edging himself for you. You whimper, high-pitched and muffled but it’s so beautiful that he forces his eyes open. You have one hand gripping the bedsheet like it’s your lifeline and you have the other bitten between your teeth to hold your sounds in. Your hips are grinding into him at an uneven, unsteady, desperate pace and he’s mesmerized by the sight.
He knew you wanted him. He didn’t know you needed him. You’re fucking yourself against his cock like you’ve been waiting for it your whole life. Your hand comes up to grip his shoulder instead of the bedsheet. He grunts and tilts his hips further into yours, a sadistic smirk coming to his face at the sound of exclamation that shoots from your mouth once you’re able to grind your clit against his shaft. Your thrusts start to stutter at that, your body constantly wanting to fold in on itself from the assault of pleasure but you try and will yourself to keep going. 
Unfortunately, your pace is ruined by your pleasure. Your sensitive body can’t handle how good his clothed cock is making you feel. You lose your pace and your pleasure becomes rocky and teasing. He watches as your face changes from pleasured to pouty. Little whimpers and whines of frustration slip from your lips, growing in volume and frequency the longer you’re unable to grind against him properly. Joel’s watching you through hooded eyes, fingers digging into your hips painfully at this point and all he wants is to not cum yet. He wants to make you cum first, he needs it, he needs to see it, to hear it. 
He’s been telling himself it’s fine because you’re grinding against him, not the other way around. You’re choosing this, there’s no way he’s manipulating you, or swaying your decision if he stays completely indifferent. But you’re begging him now. You’re gripping desperately at his shirt, removing your hand from your mouth to grip him harder and pulling yourself closer, wrapping your arms around and moaning right against his chest. He shouldn’t. He can’t. But he does.
His eyes shut tight as his hands leave your hips. You almost climb on top of him in protest, whining a loud “N- Please.” into his chest as your leg hikes higher onto his waist. One of his hands cradles your head, pulling you further into his chest, muffling the moans you’re already letting out at his touch. His other hand goes to the small of your back, pressing you against him perfectly and guiding your rhythm as your hips start up again. He dares to speak. “S’this okay, baby?”
Your reaction to his voice is visceral. Your hands shoot up to his shoulder and hair, pulling yourself up a bit to bury in his neck, getting a new angle from his cock, now fucking him against your leaking hole. “So good, Joey. Thank- Thank you s’much. Thank you, thank you.” Your gratitude is like a searing knife through him. His entire body is set alight as he tries to regulate his breathing. He can feel goosebumps break out on his skin, his pleasure filling every molecule in his body, ready to overflow for you. Fuck. He’s definitely going to cum before you. 
“Mm. Good, good girl. Just- Keep going, sweetness, take what— Shit. Take what you need, darlin’.” His breathing quickens and shudders as your hips increase their pace against him. He’s leaking continuously now, he’s getting in his head, trying to stop himself from cumming but every thought that pops into his mind just brings him closer to the edge. He can’t focus on anything but you. You’re moaning for him, grinding against him, this desperate for him. 
The hand on your lower back migrates to the back of your neck, gripping you there, holding you in place as his hips begin to thrust into yours. “M’gonna cum, darlin’. Fuck, I wanted t- wanted to last for y- Mmm oh fuck.” His entire body starts to tremble as your nails dig into him so painfully he’s sure they drew blood. Your eyes are comically wide as your body tenses in his hold before breaking down into a shudder that overtakes your entire being. You’re cumming. 
He explodes at the realization. In all his desperation, intoxication, and pure need… He was still able to make you cum first. He buries his face in your hair, huffing the scent as he floods his sweatpants. His eyes shut as tightly as they can as his orgasm tears through him. He’s been waiting so long for you to make him cum and now that it’s happening, it feels even better than he planned for. His low grunts turn into shocked moans when his orgasm doesn’t stop after shooting two ropes of cum against his sweats. You’re already coming down as he hits what feels like his second peak. You can feel his hands shaking over where they’re gripping you and you get an impulse that you act on without a second thought. 
Your hand slides down from his shoulder quickly, over the sliver of stomach he’s showing off, and right down his pants. You don’t know what you’re doing so you just grip him, wrapping your hand around his shaft but it seems to do the trick. He lets out a sound that resembles someone getting kicked in the gut. His face is pulled from your hair as his head is thrown back. He arches into you a bit before his hips start thrusting into your fist, desperately prolonging his already overwhelming orgasm. It’s embarrassing; how long he was cumming for, the way his body was violently quivering for you, the ludicrously large dark spot spreading over his pants, showcasing how much he came for you. 
He moans gently when he comes to. You’re stroking over his chest with a soft, sleepy, nervous smile. He pulls you in for a kiss before he can think about it. You guys haven’t discussed anything. Neither of you knows what this means for your relationship but you know that neither of you has felt more comfortable than when you’re in the arms of the other. So why question it now? 
You fall into a deep sleep listening to Joel’s heavy snores, getting rocked to bed by the way his chest expands. It’s the best sleep of your life. 
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thank you so much for reading!! please please please give any feedback you may have! I want it all! also if you liked it please take a look at my masterlist!
psst psst. hey you!! i have a part 2 if u want 😏
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kitchenlittle · 10 months
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I want to make a little PSA and warning about future content being posted to my page very soon. I will not stand for the slander of writers who choose to write about Miles Morales due to popularity of the movies. Let me make something clear since it seems there are many fake Marvel Fans out there who know nothing about the universes. THERE ARE UNIVERSES WHERE MILES IS ALREADY AN ADULT.
Earth-8 comes to mind where Miles is LITTERALY a full grown MAN MARRIED TO GWEN STACY and they have 2 CHILDREN TOGETHER. Their names are Charlotte and Max Morales. LOOK IT UP IF YOU DONT BELIEVE.
Every universe has a differing age/look from the Miles Morales we see in the movies and know why? BECAUSE THERE IS DARN NEAR THOUSAND IF NOT INFINITE universes of Miles. SO YES. There is a universe with events just like the movie with slight differences and Miles over the age of 18. So litteraly any story about about Miles would litteraly be cannon in someway!
Just like how we can have a Adult Peter Parkers like in the movie exist at the same time as underage Peter Parkers like Tom Holland's. Or should I say," -Dr. Strange and the little nerd on Earth 199999 (AKA Tom Holland)"~Miguel O'hara. And if you were paying attention to the movies you'd know that Miles cannonly exist in live-action human form. Uncle Aaron played by musician and actor childish gamebino mentions he has a nephew who wants to protect to Spiderman. You see that same prowler Childish Gambino Uncle Aaron captured in the new movie. He was captured by Hobie Brown and locked uo as anamoly needing to be sent back to his universe. Meaning that Adult Miles can exist at the same time as kid Miles!
NOT ONLY THAT. But here is some hyprocracy I have found. THE ANIME FANDOM. The most popular characters in the anime are 15- 16. FROM Deku and Bakugou FROM MY HERO, to Luffy FROM ONEPEICE, to Sukuna/Yuji from JUJITSU KAISEN and many many more. Most main characters are highschool age. HOW IS IT? That they can age up charecter that alot of times we will never see 18 or older and write a fanfic sometimes while the charecter in the story is still 15-16 and get a away with it. But Miles Morales authors go out their way to age him up before they even write it and litteraly aren't wrong since their are universe where he is older, are weirdos and pe***. I don't see some anime writers doing that? Make it make sense?
I PERSONALLY DONT EVEN WRITE FOR FOR CHARECTERS THAT DONT HAVE A CANON ADULT VERSION OF THEM AVAILABLE FROM THE OG CREATORS IN MEDIA. Guess who fits the criteria? MILES MORALES.
A message for my unsure authors out there.
~So for all my writers not their scared to post their fics. Label it Earth-8 Miles who is a father and husband to Gwen and say it's a headcannon of what ps happend he's 18-25 before he got married if you feel that weird about it.
Some of ya'll are fake fans who completely missed the point of the movie and it's implications. Don't come in my DMs telling me to take anything down because I'm not. You will be blocked and locked out of interacting with my page. And if you feel uncomfortable block me. Just know if you block you will be missing out of 50+ fics I've been working on 18+ characters for about a year now and will be posting starting in July. It's littersly an event I've been working on called the 'Lemon Fest', since it's my birthday month.
Once again every charcter I write about had a cannon adult version of them made by the creators or is already an adult. I was going to keep this a secret by I've gotta protect my fellow authors especially if they are being wrongly targeted. Wanna get mad? Wanna get angry at some authors? Get mad at the ones the ones that write about you favorite anime charecters that are likely 15-16 then ask them to delete it...oh wait...you won't.. because if done that would litteraly be deleting 3/4 of the fanfiction written on this site.
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ughgoaway · 19 days
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you're just a stranger I know everything about.
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Content warnings; sadness lol, confrontation, crying, a few Taylor references because I am unbearable, swearing, shouting, and just general angst. (no happy ending either oops)
a/n; day 1 of the matty 35 celebration! and what better way to start it than with some teacher au angst?? I know my birthdays always have an air of melancholy, so I feel like this is appropriate. I fear this is rushed and SO bad, but eh, too late now!! anyway, enjoy! maybe? if you can?
word count; 3.5k ish
(this fic is an extension from the "don't you think of me?" universe, which you can read here.)
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The text sits on your phone. Every time the screen starts to dim, you tap it to keep it illuminated, yet you don't reply. You can't. Every muscle in your body feels frozen except that one finger. 
Tap. Tap. Tap. 
You watched the phone dim, but the name of the contact seemed to stay just as bright, even when the light is as low as it can be, “Matty. DO NOT TEXT.” glows on your screen. The warning was added against your will after a few too many drunk almost-phone calls. 
Tap. Tap. Tap. 
It’s an hour later when the phone dies. You knew it was coming, watching the percentage of charge drop slowly. You got the 15% warning. Then the 5%. But still, you did the same thing until the screen finally went black.
 Tap. Tap. Tap.
You don't need the phone to be lit up to remember what the message said anyway. You’d read it a thousand times over already. You’d analysed it, broken it down, performed autopsies on every single word, each letter was scorched into your brain. 
“Hey y/n, long time no talk. 
I hope you got my letter, if you didn't read it, that's okay. You already know everything I said. You always knew me better than I did. 
Anyway, I know this is a long shot, but it's my birthday party next week, and I just can't imagine celebrating without you there. All I can think about is my last birthday, me and you in Hawaii. I don't expect it to be like that, but I would love it if you came. Even if you just had one drink, we don't have to talk. You can wave at me across the room and stay far, far away. Treat me like I've got the plague for all I care, but just come, please. 
Give an old man his birthday wish?
See you there, maybe. I hope so, anyway.
Matty x” 
You want to do the same to the text that you did to his letter, burn it to a crisp. But that doesn't exactly seem feasible, considering your phone was £500, and probably not flammable. plus, you had blisters on your fingers for weeks after the letter, and you dont know if it's worth it again.
But you can't deny that the blisters were oddly comforting. Reminding you what you did every time something brushed your digits, that he was gone, and you had the power. The ball was in your court, and you intended it to stay there.
And it was there for months. But Matty ruined that by sending that message, he got the power back whether he intended to or not. And it was made even worse by him telling Charli, and her endless phone calls begging you to come.
You’re so good at telling her its not going to happpen, and every message that comes in gets a firm “no.” or just gets point-blank ignored. She begs, saying that she needs a friend there and that she'll even let you choose a few songs for George’s DJ playlist. But you stay strong, shaking your head and sighing, insisting you've moved on, that chapter of your life is closed, and you'd like to keep it that way.
So you can't help but wonder how you ended up dressed up on a Saturday night standing outside of Matty’s house, bottle of wine gripped in your shaking hands and the distinct noise of your heels clicking against the pavement as you walk towards the house you've done everything you can to forget. 
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As soon as you walk in, you can tell the house is different from how you left it. Obviously, the strobe lights and birthday balloons were new, but even ignoring those, the whole space felt wrong. Even more unforgiving and cold, which was impressive considering every inch was covered with people, dancing and chatting. Still, a lifeless air hung around. 
Your eyes darted around, finding the places that you used to occupy. The painting you bought Matty no longer hangs on the wall, replaced by yet another award. You can't help but feel bitter when you see the poster celebrating the album full of songs about you. The spot where your mug used to sit on the counter was empty, but the dark stained ring of coffee remained, forcing you to fight a small smile. maybe he hadn't completely erased you, even if he tried.
People recognise you immediately, and they don't hide their shock well. They might think that they do, smoothly recovering from their initial surprise, but they don't. You see their wide eyes and disbelieving glances, each person acting like you're a ghost haunting the house you once lived in.
You play pretend along with them, smiling as best you can and answering all their questions.
"How's work?"
"How have you been?"
"you seen any good films lately?"
but, you both know you're dancing around the one question they really want to be answered.
why the fuck were you here?
Eventually, the people stop coming, and Charli finds you, plying you with drinks and half-slurred thanks as she begs you to stay for just 5 more minutes. You agree, only because you have yet to catch a glimpse of the birthday boy, and that made everything just bearable.
You quickly regret that decision when you see him not even a minute later, standing by George in the DJ booth smoking a cigarette and laughing in that contagious way he always did. High pitched giggles and his head thrown back.
But he doesn't see you, so it's still okay. You can hang on a few seconds more. Your chest might be tightening with every moment, but you're not suffocating yet.
However, when a tall blonde girl walks over and starts making out with him, it suddenly starts to feel like the room is on fire, and you’re choking on the invisible smoke. The burn of the flames starts to feel all too real when he pulls away from her, though, and his eyes find yours as if they're magnetised together. 
The realisation falls over his face immediately, dropping his hand from around her waist and trying desperately to weave through the crowd surrounding him. You don't stay to see if he breaks through the sea of people, already rushing out as fast as you can, forcing your cup into a stranger's hand and moving as fast as your legs can take you.
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“y/n, stop.” You hear Matty’s voice behind you as you storm out his front door, but you don't turn. It sounds muffled, like you're being pulled underwater, and someone is screaming at you to get up. But the waves keep on pulling you deeper, and his voice becomes more faint with every step you take.
Yet, as soon as the cold air fills your lungs and his skin finally touches yours, you're pulled out. You spin around as soon as his fingers graze your shoulder, acting like even his touch is painful as you wrench away.
It was finally here, the time you were dreading. The time when it was just you, him, and everything that remained unsaid.
His eyes held yours as the silence of the night surrounded you, and you couldn't help but study him like you always did. He looked different. Not better or worse, just different. The colourful lights in the house had been hiding his features. 
He had more lines on his face, deeper ones on his forehead, but the ones around his mouth had lightened, his smile lines fading. You could still tell even when it was slicked back with heavy gel that more grey streaks danced through his curls.
His eyes were the same, though. Always so telling, so revealing. If you wanted to know exactly what Matty Healy was thinking, look in his eyes. They spoke more than he did. Which sounds absurd if you’d ever had a conversation with him, but you'd bet your life on it.
You almost start to soften at the sight of him, old memories flooding back. Flashes of warm sun and hot kisses, filthy sex followed by soft breakfasts in bed. But then he speaks. Why do men always do that? Just as you're thinking about saying something and trying defusing the situation, they open their stupid mouth.
“Where are you going?” he asks softly, his chest heaving as he desperately sucks in oxygen, his lungs fighting to catch up.
“Home, Matty. I shouldn't have come. I don't even know why you invited me.” You try to spin and walk away, to finally move on. But of course, Matty’s voice drags you back under once again, and the same water fills your lungs.
“stay, please. i dont know why i invited you either, but I did. I didn't expect you to come. I just-” Matty stutters as he speaks as if his brain can't catch up with his mouth, things pour out that he doesn't mean. And he knows it. It's crystal clear as soon as his wide eyes shoot open, processing what he had really just said. 
He didn't expect you to come? He put you through all this and didn't think you'd show up? What was the point then? Was it just to hurt you? Did he just want to see if he could? to see if his name popping up would have the same effect it always did, make you come running to him?
Your body moves without thinking, turning to face Matty with fires burning in your eyes, "You didn't think I would come? Then why the fuck did you even invite me, Matty?! to flaunt your new girlfriend? to try and "win" the breakup? Well congratulations, you've fucking won. I'm sure that model hanging off your arm is just perfect for you.” sarcasm drips from your every word, burning Matty like acid rain.
“No! It's not like that. I don't know. I think- I think I was just scared we’d never be in the same place again. That I would love you for the rest of my life, but I’d never see you again.” his voice softens as he speaks, and you almost want to give in, to crumble at his gentle tone and warm eyes. But he can't still love you, it seems impossible when you go back and see the destruction he left behind.
“That's what a breakup is, Matty. And did you ever think about me? About what I want? I can't help but think that maybe that would've been better. If being in the same room as you means feeling like this, I don't ever want to see you again.” You spit back angrily.
Matty's nostrils flare before he speaks, and you can see the anger building inside him. It takes a lot to get Matty to shout, but you can tell with every second you're making him inch closer. And you don't know why that makes you feel so good, but if you're honest, you don't want to know.
You want to keep going, keep pushing. You want him to act like he did that night. You needed to see it again. You needed to know he couldn't ever forget the night you're forced to remember. 
“y/n, I don't- I just don't know what to say to you. What do you want from me? Do you want me to say that saying goodbye to you was the hardest thing I've ever had to do? That it ripped my heart out of my chest? That it fucking destroyed me? It did. Of course it did, you always made me feel everything. Losing you was no different.” You heard the way Matty’s voice cracked the more he spoke, but you ignored it. If he wanted to pull the dagger out of your heart, it was his job to deal with the bleeding.
“It didn't feel that hard when you stopped coming home at night. Or when you were fucking screaming at me. Or even that night when you walked out the door, you made it look pretty fucking easy that night. Because that's how it was Matty, you left. So don't come to me bitching and whining that it destroyed you. It's your fault. All of this is your fault.” you feel your voice wavering, but you suck in another breath, refusing to let him see you weaken, to see that wall you built start to break down. 
“I deserved a better goodbye, Matty. If the goodbye you gave me hurt, the one I deserved would have fucking killed you.” You poke Matty in the chest harshly, pushing him back on his unsteady feet. 
Streetlights flicker above you, the severe light dancing across Matty’s features. As long as you can remember, this light was busted, flicking on and off at will. It used to annoy you, distract you at night when the light poured through the curtains of Matty's bedroom.
Tonight, however, you loved it. No one could hide what they were really feeling under the harsh yellow glow. It seemed to pull every emotion to the surface of your face, illuminating even the darkest parts you wanted to hide.
So it was easy to spot when anger reared its ugly head in Matty. This time, he doesn't push it back. He physically can't.
He needs you to know that it did kill him to say goodbye, and that you can see that. he needs to understand how you can’t you see that he's the shell of the man he once was as he stands here?
“I apologised to you. I know you got my letter. Thanks for the response, by the way, a great way for us to get closure for whatever the fuck this was.” venom drips from every word that falls from his lips, and you have to fight to hide the smirk brewing on your face. 
Finally. Finally, he was angry. He was pissed off. This is what you needed. You need the big fight, the final breakdown. Just one more time, you tell yourself, just one more screaming match, and you can move on.
A scoff involuntarily is ripped from your chest, as if you can't believe the utter bullshit coming from the man across from you. “I'm sorry, you think you deserve a response? What would I say in it, “Oh Matty, I'm so sorry! You're so right. Please let me come over so we can fuck all night!!” I know I'm not your usual airhead type, but you have to think more of me than that”
Your voice is high and piercing as you speak, and you know it. It always was when you started to get riled up. However, in this moment, you didn't care. You just needed something to happen, for him to get just as annoyed as you've been for fucking months.
“You don't think I deserved anything, though? Not even an acknowledgement?” his incredulous eyes met yours, begging you to take everything back and say you're sorry too, that it wasn't just his fault, even if he knew that wasn't true.
“Why should I? You never acknowledged my feelings. I don't think you asked me how I felt in the last month of our relationship.” Wet tears start brewing at your lashline. You want to fight them falling. But you can't, your resolve weakening with every second he stands in front of you.
“you know, that night we broke up, I realised something. you hadn't said you loved me in weeks. I said it every morning. But you'd hum back, or nod, or hug me. But you never actually said it.” Matty tries to cut in, and you already know what he wants to say. But you don't let him, powering through his half started words and desperate eyes.
After a few shaky breaths, your words start pouring again, “You treated saying “I love you” just like how you treated saying sorry. Like it would kill you to even think it. You've still never properly apologised for how you treated me, never said it to my face. But when we were together, I found myself saying sorry thousands of times over for feeling anything. I felt guilty for being pissed off at you, like I was doing something wrong. But I had every right to be! You had become a man I didn't even recognise, and for some reason, I still loved you, even when I shouldn't have. But at the time, I didn't see that. All I saw was you hurting. And because all I do is care, I wanted to stay. To stay for you, for us. Our family.”
Seconds pass, but they feel like minutes. The harsh wind blowing between you whistling through the street. Your eyes can't be dragged away from Matty’s, tears falling freely between the two of you.
And suddenly, you don't want him to be angry any more, you don't want this all to happen. You wish you could go back, never come here. But time doesn't work like that, so you’re stuck with tears pouring down your face as you stare at the man you once thought was the love of your life.
“Do you still have feelings for me?” Matty whispers, and you could see the desperation on his face, wet eyes tracing your every feature.
In that moment, he didn't know what he wanted your answer to be.
If you said no, it would kill him. Every ember of hope smouldering inside him would be burnt out, never to be relit.
But if you said yes, he doesn't know if he can let go. If you say you still feel anything for him, he knows he’ll be looking for you in every universe until he finds the one where you stay.
“I won't ever not love you, Matty. No matter how many times I tell myself I've moved on or that my life is better without you in it. I will always love you, and that's fucking agonising.” you sniffle as you speak, and you almost want to laugh at the absurdity of it all. How did you go from screaming at each other to professing your everlasting love?
Matty wants nothing more in that moment than to start begging you to come back, telling you how you can make it work, to talk about what he would do to get you back. But he knows he shouldn't, so he doesn't.
“Annie still thinks about you all the time you know,” Matty says, and your chest hurts from the whiplash of this conversation, jumping between memories of your old life so fast its almost unbearable. But you knew Matty. He needed to jump around to stay sane, so you jumped with him.
“I know, I remember you saying in the letter that she stopped asking when I was coming back. Is that true?” your voice drops again, as if you were sharing secrets at a sleepover.
“I thought it would be easier when she stopped asking, maybe then I'd not spend every waking hour thinking of you. But when the day came, it wasn't easier. It was like watching you leave right in front of me all over again. It brought me back to walking into the house for the first time after you left, looking at the empty space and trying to figure out how to fill it. Annie was filling it by asking about you, but suddenly she wasn't, and that glaring hole in my life was back." Matty's voice breaks as he speaks, but he clears his throat and tries to ignore it.
"I realised then that I'll never not think about you. Even if no one talks about you. Even if I never see you again, I'll still think of you.” Matty sucks in a shaky breath as soon as the words stop pouring out of him. His lungs seemed like they were sticking together with every word he said, and it felt like death. But he couldn't stop the rush of words, so he let the death surround him.
“Tell her I said hi” you reply meekly, not sure what to say in response to Matty’s outpour.
“I won't” matty says, forcing a half smile and chuckle that you half-heartedly return. 
Once again, the blanket of silence surrounds the two of you, enveloping you in a way that feels all too familiar. So you break it, not letting yourself fall back into old patterns.
"i just dont understand how it all happened so quickly. how did you go from a stranger to the love of my life, only then to become someone I wish was a stranger all over again?" You whisper, your shaking hands coming to cup Matty's wet cheeks as you step closer. His hands wrap around your waist instantly, pulling you in and holding you so tight it almost hurts. 
Silence hangs between the two of you. But its no longer painful or awkward, stilted or angry. It was a silence of acceptance, an acknowledgement that this had to be the final goodbye. There was no erasing the past, the demons that followed the two of you couldn't be ignored. So you were done, this was it.
Eventually, you pull away, and your face hovers in front of Matty’s for a few beats too long. You want to give him a final kiss, a proper goodbye. and you swear you can almost feel his lips against yours, taste the salty tears that would fall from your eyes. You don't, though. Your hands drop from his wet cheeks, and you walk away.
Every fibre inside you wants to turn around and go back to him. It feels impossible to face the future with the person you planned to spend it with standing 10 steps behind. But you do, moving forward and trying not to mourn the life you know you can never get back.
121 notes · View notes
2myl0ver · 6 months
Text
☾ txt reaction to you getting shipped with another member !
genre : fluff / wc : 700 / tw : mentions of food / masterlist
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CHOI YEONJUN ¡
- some fans saw you and taehyun go in a bakery together and they had assumed you two went there for a "date" when in reality, you two just went to buy yeonjun a cake for this birthday.- sends you a message as soon as he sees a post abt u 2
- "damn 😞😞"
- he will never stop bringing it up, you're jealous? remember the time you got shipped with taehy-
- definitely told the staff members to scold taehyun, scolds taehyun himself too. (but ofcourse that doesn't mean you dont get a scolding)
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CHOI SOOBIN ¡
- you were in the crowd of an award show for your boyfriend, soobin when fans thought you were looking at yeonjun.
- poor baby probably thinks you were looking at yeonjun until you show him your camera roll that was full of pictures of him from the award show 😭
- "how would i take these pictures if i was looking at him?"
- you have to keep reassuring him the whole day. he trusts you but hates the thought of you being with anyone else especially with one of his group members
- you'd have to cuddle him for him to get over it </3
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CHOI BEOMGYU ¡
- you were on beomgyu's vlive, while you were on your phone. fans noticed that you kept smiling and assumed you were texting someone. (not beomgyu because he was right beside you eating lol)
- he'd laugh about it before texting you about it after seeing it all over twitter and weverse.
- "LOL, everyone thinks you were texting someone else here"
- "maybe i was"
- you jokingly texted back, just to see a reaction from him. soon enough, you hear a knock at your door and a notification.
- "open up."
- you open the door and beomgyu immediately started asking questions. "you were joking right?" "what did you mean by this?"
- you answered all of his questions by giving him your phone, he looked and found nothing. "then.. what were you smiling about?"
- "i was looking through the live comments and fans pointed out how red your face looked because of the ramen you were eating dummy. i have screenshots of it too, look at my camera roll."
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KANG TAEHYUN ¡
- you had posted a mirror selca on your instagram with a photocard at the back of your case, and people thought it was kai's.
- he knows you wouldn't, so he doesn't even question you but the topic is brought up by you one time when you two were sitting on the couch together.
- "did you ever see the rumor that i had a hueningkai photo card on my phone case?" he laughs, remembering when he first heard it.
- by the time that you decided to mention it, he had already forgotten about it. neither of you saw the point in mentioning it, because he and you knew you wouldn't do something like that.
- "yea, i did." he smiles whilst looking at you. you look up at him, "how come you never asked me about it?"
- "because the photo card is me. i was there when you opened the album and put my pc behind your phone case dummy"
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KAI KAMAL HUENING ¡
- on a vlive, you showed the time on your phone to fans, which also showed them your wallpaper. your wallpaper was a picture of you and kai turned back from the camera, fans thought kai was soobin because of his height, and seeing as the picture was taken at night.
- like taehyun, he laughs when he sees the rumors because he remembers when you two took that picture.
- two days later, while you two were eating lunch he decides to bring it up.
- "do you know about the fans that think it was soobin in your wallpaper?"
- "what? no. what happened? i've been busy with college, i have no idea what's the latest media right now."
- "well, when you showed them the time on your phone.. it showed your wallpaper. and because of my height, they thought it was soobin."
- you laughed, "really? because of your height?"
- "i know. i don't know whats up with them either."
- "i don't know whats up with them, but honestly you have grown a lot." you both laugh.
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© 2myl0ver Copyright 2023. Do not copy, repost, or translate without my permission. ♡ ︎and ↻ are very much appreciated !
a/n : it's been so longg!! i'm actually so proud of this 🥹
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chrissturniolosbitch · 4 months
Text
11:26
a/n: i need to write a amut, nothing is stopping me wdf..
also MY BIRTHDAY IS TOMORROW!! im boutta be 16😛 (yes i alr changed my shit)
summary- chris and y/n are arguing over something stupid, and chris get a lil bit TOO angry.. and she leaves. (chris comforts her in the end🙄)
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"gosh youre such a fucking bitch..." chris said getting in my face. I stayed silent, not wanting to make him more angry.
"youre so fucking pathetic, look at you ignoring me like the little bitch you are." Chris stated seeming more and more angry.
"i-im sorry chris." I forget even what we were fighting about. I guess he did too because once he looked at me and saw tears streaming down my face, he went silent.
"i s-should... um go." I didnt want chris to see me like this.
My whole childhood, (till i finally moved out) was constant screaming, and fighting. Shit being thrown, and cops getting called almost every day.
"baby please dont leave." chris tried to grab my arm but i was already shutting the door.
I knew chris felt bad for what he did, but i didnt want to make him feel guilty.
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(about 5 days since the argument)
i have been ignoring chris' messages, and calls. I miss him, but i didnt want him to see me. I felt like i was the one in the wrong.
i was lying in bed scrolling on tiktok hours on end hoping time would pass quickly, "alexa what time is it?"
*only 11:26?* i though after alexa told me the answer to my previous question, when suddenly i heard knocking on my door, "who could it be at this time.." i said to myself silently.
i opened the door and to my surprise, "c-chris?" i said shocked to see him, "hi baby... can i please come in?" he said with puffy eyes, and a raspy voice. I motioned him to come in and sit on my bed.
its obvious that he has been crying, but i didnt say anything, "can i start off by saying i am so, so sorry that i yelled at you like that. I would never mean to hurt you, and i know i was being a dick..." he took a deep breath in, tears flooding his eyes, as he wiped his face.
"I know you are probably still mad at me, and i know that what i did was so wrong, especially when i know what hap to you." there they are. Here comes the tears.
"I will never stop loving you y/n you mean the world to me, and i have so much more time, and love to spend with you baby. Please for-" I cut him off with a kiss.
He looked at me sobbing, i felt so bad.
"chris. Its okay my love, i know you would never mean to hurt me." I started to get teary eyed, what the fuck.
I pushed him back onto the bed and kissed him again, and again, and again.
I layed on his chest before he squeezed my waist, "youre so perfect mamas i love you... never forget that" chris said with ear to ear smile, kissing my forehead.
"i love you to chrissy."
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anywayssss.... i miss chris so much.
69 notes · View notes
junhui-png · 2 months
Text
puppy love ⌦ .。.:*♡
mingyu x reader x scoups? (Still figuring it out LOL) pt. 3
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summary: first year of college, you literally knew no one and you planned for it to stay that way but damn were you wrong
notes: hey guys, part 3 is finally out. Just wanna apologize for not uploading in so long, I've been going through a lot of family stuff and school has become a big stress for me but I've started to get my life back together again. i'll be uploading ever Wednesdays from now on unless I make a post stating otherwise! Anyways hope you enjoy part 3.
genre: seventeen college au, love triangle between scoups and Mingyu, Mingyu being on a football team, financial major scoups, angst??, fluff, cute friend ships, Hoshi, Joshua, Seungkwan, Minghao, and Wonwoo r your besties, Also besties with Yunjin (Le Sserafim) and Minnie (G-IDLE), other seventeen members are mentioned?? Childhood friends, cursing, drinking
THIS IS NOT PROOF READ BTW SO I APOLGIZE FOR ANY GRAMER OR SPELLING MISTAKESS!
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Your Birthday was in just a few weeks, you didn't really plan on doing anything to celebrate, maybe invite Mingyu and all your other friends over but that was it. "OK! I'm thinking the Maldives!" Seungkwan perks, across the table from you "You must've lost your mind Boo Seungkwan" Minghao scoffs, taking a bite of his food. You, Hoshi, Seungkwan, Minghao, Joshua, Wonwoo, And Mingyu were all sitting done at one of the campus's diners, eating your lunches, When Seungkwan started pitching birthday party ideas which you declined, as all of them were either out of your comfort zone or just borderline impossible "Seungkwanie. Let's be reasonable" You chuckle a bit "Besides I dont wanna do anything crazy" Though you tried to get Seungkwan to shut up, his mouth just kept on going, coming up with the wildest plans. "You know, I have a beach house over near Daegu if you guys want to stay there for a few days" Mingyu suddenly speaks up from across the table "YES! OMG YES" Seungkwan basically jumps up from his seat, causing everyone to break into sudden laughter "Are you sure we can use it?" You ask once the laughter had died down "Yeah of course! We dont use it that much anyways" He shrugs and you end up agreeing. You hurry up and finish you lunch before hurrying back to your class with Joshua. On your way back to your class, your phone is blowing up in your back pocket, which you pull out to see a bunch of text from, once again, Jaemin. You don't even bother to look through the thousands of text messages he sent you, you just let out a shaky sigh before pushing your phone back into the pocket of your sweatpants "The dick still bothering you?" Joshua asks "Yeah, he's back at it again for some reason" You shrug walking into your class. "If he keeps bothering you, you can tell us, you know?" Joshua tries to reassure you "Don't worry, he'll stop in a bit. He was like this when we first broke up anyways" You say, taking a sit at you desk, and Joshua doing the same.
You had finally finished all of your classes for the day and was walking home when you spotted a familiar figure in the distance "NINI!" Seungcheol's warm voices calls out and you pick up your pace just the slightest to catch up to Seungcheol "What are you doing here?" You say with a grin once you finally reached him "I dont know, thought I'd stop by" He shrugs and the two of you begin to walk "How are you?" He asks "Good, and you" "Same thing here" He smiles back. The two of you walk until you come across a convenience store "Want anything?" Seungcheol asks, entering the store with you following "Nah, im ok" You reply, taking a seat on one of the plastic green chairs. After a minute or two, Seungcheol comes back with 2 cups of shin ramyeon, water, and chocolate flavored nini's. "Cheol you didnt have to.." Your heart melts as you see all the things the man had brought for you "Its nothing please, You always used to get hungry after studying, so I assumed you would be hungry after all your classes" The man sets all the food on the table and takes a seat across from you before the two of you dig in. "I was wondering, I'm having a birthday party this following week over at Yeongildae beach, and I want you to come" you ask "Yeah, of course, I've been wanting to go the beach anyways". A little bit of excitment tingles through your body, and you can't help but smile a little knowing that you'll be able to hang out the Seungcheol once again. Seungcheol leans back in his chair and you begin to open the box of nini's "Remeber when we went to the beach together?" Seungcheol speaks up. You feel a small sense of nostalgia as you think of the past memories Seungcheol was referencing "How could I forgot, I had so much fun that day" A warm smiles covers your face, as your mind relives the moment "I think I still have the polaroid's we took of our sandcastle" You giggle at the memory of you and Seungcheol struggling to figure out how to work the new polaroid camera you were gifted. Chuckling, Seungcheol nods "And when we got Ice cream but you kept dropping them, we bought like 3 ice cream cones" "I dropped it once" You roll your eyes at Seungcheol's sarcasim and he laughs "God your mom was pissed off though, we got sand all over her car" He shakes his head in amusment remebering how your mother had scolded the two of you "I dont even wanna remember it" you chuckle. "Thanks for inviting me by the way, I'm sure I'll have a lot of fun!"
-------- one week later ---------
After the night, you and Seungcheol stay in touch through text and you continued you life as you would had usually. You were out for lunch with your friends at another restaurant on campus, when you phone went off again. You had a bad feeling about the notification that you had just gotten because, surprise! It was Jaemin. Your expression changed immedatly after reading the text Jaemin had sent you " Y/N I'm outside come out." you immediately whipped your head around and there he was, just standing there with his arms crossed, staring right at you "That son of a bitch." Yunjin mumbled, also noticing him. Your entire friend group turned to look at Jaemin but he didnt seemed bothered "You got to be fucking with me right now.." You let out a sigh "I'll be back" You get up from your seat, feeling the eye's of your friends still on you as you walk out. "Jaemin what the hell are you doing here" You confront him "Why won't you respond, I’ve been texting you all week” Jaemin says, hint of annoyance in his voice “Because I told you I don’t want to see or talk to you ever again, so leave me alone” You roll your eyes and turn around to go back inside but he grabs your wrist “LET GO OF MY, WHAT THE FUCK!” You shriek, immediately pulling your hand away from him. Your friends had rushed out of the restaurant at this point and were all behind you “baby..please just listen to me” he whines “get lost.” Mingyu says in a stern voice “you don’t wanna be with a girl like her! She a fucking whore! I saw her with another guy last week” Jaemin yells at Mingyu, his ears turning red from anger. “ Were you fucking stalking me?” You scoff in disbelief, realizing he was talking about you and Seungcheol at the convenience store. He was about to say something but was cut off by Wonwoo “You fuckin creep, just leave man.”
Jaemin let’s out a rough sigh before storming off, finally leaving you and your friends alone. "Sorry yall, That ruined the mood" You say, breaking the short moment of silence after Jaemin had left "You dont need to apologize, Jaemin's literally crazy" Hoshi reassures "Are you ok?" Mingyu puts his hand on the small of your back, as some sort of comfort you assumed "Yea, im good. That kinda freaked me out though" You let out a shaky chuckle "He's fucking stalking you Y/N, you need to report him to the police" Yunjin speaks up, the others agreeing with her "He'll stop, there's no point. If it does get bad, then i'll report to the police." You say "I'll be fine" Your friends exchange some sort of look before changing the topic to lighten the mood.
You had arrived home and you were backing your bag with Minnie, who was also going to the beach house with you. The plan was to go today, and stay at the beach house and saturday and sunday. You were helping Minnie pick the clothes she wanted to pack when the front door bell rang. "Ill get it" You get Minnie as you rush off to the door "Seungcheol? You're early? You opened the door to see Seungcheol in front of you. He was wearing a white shirt topped with a beige varsity jacket and a pair of light blue jeans "You look nice" He says, ignoring the questioned you had just asked. You were wearing a jean skirt with a navy blue halter tank top with your hair in a claw clip "Thank you, but what are you doing so early" You ask again, moving out of the way so he could enter. "I finished packing early so I thought you wouldnt mind me stopping by early" He shrugs, taking a seat on your couch "Thats fine right?" Seungcheol asks and you nod "Yeah I dont mind, I'm almost done packing, hold on" You rush back to your room to finish packing when the door bell rings again "you gotta be kidding me.." You sigh "I'll get it" Seungcheol calls out from the living room. You hear the door open and hear Seungkwan and Hoshi's excited giggles. "MINNIE, Y/N! LETS GOO EVERYONE"S OUTSIDE" Hoshi's voice booms through your small apartment "ok, you dont have to shout, this is a small ass apartment" You sigh, entering the living room with your bags "I'm so exciteddd!" Minnie chirps, as I shut and lock our apartment door. "I have so much planned" Seungkwan giggles, running over to the van that was parked infront of your apartment complex. "Hi." Mingyu waves to you, a dumb smile playing on his lips "Hi Mingyu" You wave back, Placing your bag in the back of the van. You enter the the van and sit in the middle of the third row, both Seungcheol and Mingyu besides you. Joshua's driving with Seungkwan in the passenger seat and Hoshi, Yunjin, and Minnie in the second row. Minghao and Wonwoo chose to be isolated in the back, probably so they could sleep the entire ride to daegu. "Everybody ready?" Joshua asks and everybody shouts yes before Joshua begin to drive. Seungkwan immediately connects his phone to the aux before blasting music, beginning a karaoke session. You, Minnie, and Yunjin sing Nonsense, Yes, and?, Kill Bill, what makes you beautiful, and so many songs before letting Seungkwan and Hoshi the chance to sing the songs of there choice. You lean back in your seat, sweating just a bit because of how much energy you were putting into your singing "Do you want some water" Seungcheol asks you, noticing your panting state "Omg, yes please" You watch as Seungcheol pulls out a smaller black bag from under his seat and unzips. As your watching him search his bag for a water bottle, something catches you eye "You still have that" You point to the side pocket of the bag which had a slightly beat up cherry keychain hanging from the zipper of the pocket. Seungcheol chuckles once he realizes what you were referring too "You thought I would just throw it out?" He asks, cocking an eyebrow "I dont know, thought you would have lost it by now" You shrug "Here" He hands you a water bottle and you give him a small smile as a thank you before chugging down your water. "Did you get him that?" Mingyu suddenly asks, a werid sound in his voice "Uh yeah, when we were kids I got him that for his birthday" You smile softly, thinking about how happy 7 year old Seungcheol was too get some crappy keychain from you. Mingyu lets out a salty "hm" before looking back to this phone. You go back to singing a bit later and play some Valorant with Wonwoo for a little before you got tired and decided to take a quick nap. "WE'RE HEREE!!”
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previous / next
Pt 4 out next Wednesday ( 2/28/24
27 notes · View notes
writtenbymkl · 1 year
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pairing: best friend!haechan x fem! reader
word count: 2.3k
genres: ANGST !! , unrequited love, college au, heartbreak
warnings: none
a/n: the last part to good person !! i wanted to be a short au just because i wanted to test the waters with my first completed written story so i hope you guys enjoy it !!
PART 2 OF GOOD PERSON
Two weeks later and you’re at the get-together that your friends threw for your birthday that was coming up soon. One problem, though, Haechan wasn’t here yet.
You: where r u? everyones here and ur the only one missing _._
Sent 5:37 pm
You: seriously this isnt funny, what r u even doing?
Sent 6:40 pm
You: the get together is ending soon, we have like an hour left here, dont even bother showing up anymore dude
Seen 8:00 pm
You roll your eyes, seeing that he finally read your message.
“Hey! That was mine. If you wanted one, I could’ve just gotten you one, dude,” Mark looks at you with sullen eyes, “But I’m assuming by that reaction, he’s not coming?”
“You know Mark,” You sigh. “He’s been acting really weird since you said that stuff about being a couple. This is all your fault,” You state. You know it wasn’t his fault, it was Haechan’s for being so weird about it, but you had to blame someone. 
Mark’s eyes widen. “How was I supposed to know it would cause a disturbance in your friendship?”  
“Ugh, whatever, let me just blame you peacefully,” 
“Come on, man, don’t be so down today. We came to celebrate before your birthday, so we should make the most of it, even if it means Haechan won’t come. I mean, it’s not the end of the world, right? You guys can celebrate on your birthday?” He suggests. I mean, you guess he’s right, it isn’t actually your birthday yet, but it still didn’t take away from the fact that you wanted to spend it with all of your friends, including Haechan.
“Okay… Sorry, I didn’t mean to be a downer. It’s just, Haechan is-”
“Haechan’s your best friend, yeah, dude, I know, but you also have us as your friends, too, you know?” Mark gives you a gentle smile while looking at your other friends laughing and talking at the tables.
“You’re right. Thanks, Mark. Has anyone told you you’re a really good listener?” You ask.
“No problem, and yeah, I guess,” He shrugs. “Now, let’s get in a good moment for the last hour remaining.” Mark gets up and holds out his hand to pull you up. Right as you're getting up, the door jingling gets your attention. Immediately looking towards the door, you see Haechan walking in and greeting everyone. 
“Haechan, you finally made–” You stop your sentence seeing a girl come from behind him, holding onto his arm. Haechan finally notices you and makes his way over, pulling the girl behind him. You can see Mark from the corner of your eyes giving you a pitiful look. 
“Y/n! Hey! Sorry, I’m late. I had to go pick up Mihye from her house and drive all the way back here,” Haechan explains while the apparent Mihye just giggles. You just give Haechan a blank stare. I mean, this is unbelievable, and you don’t know what to say.
Haechan quickly realizes he forgot to introduce the girl by his side. “Oh, by the way, Mihye, meet Y/n, Y/n, meet Mihye. She’s my new girlfriend,” Haechan smiles. Mihye holds out her hand for you to shake, and Haechans waits for you to grab it, but the moment never comes.
Mark quickly grabs your own hand and places it in Mihye’s.
“Silly Y/n, haha, I think, she’s just, um, in shock and happy that Haechan finally made it,” 
You don’t know what to say. You feel tears already starting to form, but you don’t want to make a scene. 
“I think I’m going to take a breather outside. I’ll be back,” You tell Mark before rushing past Haechan and Mihye to go outside. Except Haechan stops you for a second.
“What’s wrong? You need me to go outside with you?” He says, concerned. 
Yanking your hand back, you bitterly say, “No. I need time alone. You’ve already done enough.”
Mark’s eyes widen. “Y/n, I think now should be a time to leave and talk to him. I’ll keep Mihye company.” Sighing, you give in and walk outside with Haechan following.
Not before he tells Mihye he’ll be back. Standing in the dark, with the wind blowing slightly, you sigh. A moment of silence is filled between you two until Haechan breaks the silence, like always.
“Are you mad because I have a new girlfriend?” He asks. And you snap because this is always the problem you have with him, and it is just a continuous cycle you’re tired of dealing with. 
“What?! Haechan, you cannot seriously be so oblivious?” You look at him, shocked. 
Rolling his eyes, “I knew you’d react like this.”
“How else did you want me to react when you’re telling me you already found a new person and you brought them to my birthday get-together without informing me?!”
Haechan scoffs, “Oh come on, it’s not really that big of a deal, Y/n. It’s not like they’re taking the spotlight away from you.”
“That’s not the problem, Haechan, don’t you get it?! It’s the fact that it hasn’t even been a full month, nonetheless three weeks, since your last girlfriend? Do you enjoy being heartbroken? Do you enjoy the fact that I keep looking after you every time? Are you satisfied with the fact that I’m always there to pick up the pieces? Or is it the fact that you know I’ll always be by your side and drop everything for you?” The feeling of finally being able to speak out feels liberating. Except, it doesn’t mean you’ll get the outcome that you’re expecting. 
“I never made you drop anything for me,” He angrily retorts while pointing. “And so what if it’s been less than a month, or three weeks, whatever, can’t you just be happy for me?! Isn’t that what you’re here for? To be by my side and be my BEST FRIEND?”
You stay silent. “Fine,” you weakly smile. 
“I won’t say anything more, and I'm sorry for overreacting. And you’re right. As your best friend, I should stick by you no matter what choices you make. I’m happy for you, Hyuck, I really am.” You pat him on the shoulder as you walk past him back into the restaurant.
Haechan just sighs and follows after you, grabbing your wrist before you can fully step inside. 
“Talk to me. What is this really about? Why are you so upset? You know I always do this, so why is it a problem now?” You think for a few minutes.
Should you tell him? Should you tell him about the fact that you’ve been in love with him for the past, God knows how many years? Or the fact that you’re jealous about all the girls he’s spent time with when it should’ve been you? How everyone, including his friends, knows that you’re in love with him? Is that a risk you want to take? 
Looking at him with sad eyes, you make your decision and give up. “It’s not that … It’s….” Tearing up, you know you have to get this off your chest. “I just need to get this off my chest,” you say shakily.
Haechan looks at you, concerned. “What is it?”
“I’m... I’ve just been … in-“ you get cut off by someone yelling out, “Haechan? Y/n? Where are you guys?” Your heart drops. Of course, it’s his new girlfriend.
Haechan whips his head around and yells back, “Mihye? What are you doing out here? I said I’d be back. Go back inside.” 
“I was worried. It’s been a while since you guys left,” Mihye says from the door.
“We… We should probably go back inside. They’re probably bored without us, and Mihye’s starting to get worried.”
“No, tell me what you were gonna say,” Haechan firmly states while grabbing you again.
“It’s not important anymore,” You shake off his hands, moving towards the door, as Mihye is no longer there.
“Tell me, or I won’t let you leave.” 
“Fine. I was just going to say how I’ve been concerned for you for many years now. You’ve had me worried whether you’d be able to be happy and find a good person for you, there. Happy?” You sarcastically smile.
“So that’s it? That’s what you made a big deal for?” He lightly laughs.
“It's not funny. I’m just worried about you, you’re my best friend, and I don’t want to see you lose the light in your eyes. That’s what makes you Haechan.”
Wrapping his arms around your waist and leaning his head into your shoulder, he says, “I know you’re concerned for me, Y/n, and you’re my best friend in the whole world, too. It’s a good thing I’ll have you with me every time to get me through it, though, isn’t it?” 
“Yeah, you’re lucky it’s me and not someone else.” He pulls away.
“You know, for a second, I thought you were going to say you were in love with me or something. That would’ve been an easier explanation as to why you were acting like you were, but it’s a good thing that wasn’t it,” he laughs. 
As if your heart wasn’t already torn to pieces. You should’ve known he’d never see you in that light. I mean, look at yourself; compared to Mihye, you were a completely shabby version of her. If only he knew that that was the exact reason why you were acting like you were. But you’d never tell him that, not when it meant risking your friendship and never talking to him again. 
“Yeah .. that’s a ridiculous thought there. I don’t know how you came up with that conclusion,” it just came out your mouth, it’s not like you wanted it to, but it’s the only way for you to cope with a rejection that wasn’t even formal; how oblivious he was. 
Heading back into the restaurant with Haechan following behind you, you notice Mark and Jaemin looking at you both.
 
“Why don’t you head back to Mihye now? I’m sure she’s been waiting for a while,” You say, nodding your head over to where she was standing. Haechan just nods, and you watch as he walks up behind her, embracing her in a back hug and kissing the top of her head.
Looking away, you walk to where Mark and Jaemin are and slide into the seat across from them.
“So? Did you tell him?” Jaemin asks curiously. Mark just nudges him. “What? I’m just asking,” He shrugs.
“I’m gonna assume you didn’t tell him,” Mark scratches the back of his neck. You can’t seem to say anything. Maybe you should’ve told him. No. Everything would’ve gone down the drain if you did. Maybe it’s a good thing you didn’t. 
“I didn’t.” You finally say.
“Well, why not?” Mark asks. 
“Mark,” You look up at him raising your eyebrows. “Are you seriously asking that? He has a girlfriend, and it doesn’t seem as easy as you make it out to be. How am I going to just tell him, oh, I'm in love with you, have been since forever!” 
“Hey, you said it, not me,” He points at you. You roll your eyes. 
You point over to where Haechan is, “Whatever. I mean, it’s my get-together, and he seems to be wanting to spend more time with Mihye than me.”
“Like I mentioned before, you guys can hang out on your actual birthday. Right now, spend some time with us. There’s only a few more minutes left, so let’s make the most of it,” Mark smiles. “Right, Jaemin?”
“Yes, exactly. Forget him for today!” Jaemin says, grabbing your hand to pull you up.
“That’s if he doesn’t forget my birthday too,”
“He won’t! We’ll make sure of it,” Mark pats your back.
“Thanks, guys. I don’t know what I would do without you.” You embrace both Mark and Jaemin, and they hug you back. 
—---------------------------------
It’s been a month since your birthday. You spent the day with Haechan, Mark, and Jaemin. One of the best days and you couldn’t forget it. Except today seems to feel really familiar. Almost as if you’ve done this for the 20th time already. Why? Because Haechan sits in your bed again, eating ice cream and sniffling. 
“I’m guessing Mihye broke up with you?” You ask, sighing, not even surprised he’s here again after a month. You saw it coming, but how could you tell him that? You would seem like a bad friend, and that’s the last thing you want Haechan to think. 
Haechan blows his nose with a tissue, “Yeah….”
All you can do is rub his back once again, and it’s all you can ever seem to do. Watch him find a new girlfriend, fall in love, get heartbroken, and be there by his side when it happens. 
“I’m sorry you have to deal with me all the time,” Haechan sighs, bringing his shoulders down.
“Hey, it’s okay. That’s what I’m here for, right? What kind of a best friend would I be if I wasn’t there for your ups and downs?” He just smiles.
“Can you give me a hug?” You embrace him while patting his back as he sniffles.
“I know I’ve said this almost every time this happens, but you really are a good person, you know?” Haechan says while leaning his head on your shoulder.
“Thanks,” Is all you can say. 
And the cycle repeats, as it always will because you’re the good person he’s always needed in life, even if he doesn’t know it. And you’re okay with him not knowing. The ones who will make him cry, you can only comfort him and be by his side.
182 notes · View notes
coltrainbat · 1 year
Text
MASTERLIST
✨Masterlist ✨
READ ME BEFORE YOU REQUEST
Please note I don’t write anything that is illegal or borderline inappropriate. This includes sibling smut, adult baby kink (I dont even know what its called), teacherxstudent relationships and anything else I deem off. I also havent been to high school for many years so even if it’s innocent fluff I do not write HS AUs. If you’re unsure just ask! Can even be anon and if you don’t get a reply to your request then it’s a no. I’m fine with Daddy kink and most sex stuff as long as it doesn't cross lines into over infantilising, acting like an actual baby. 
As much as I’d love to sit in my bed all day and write fics... I have a big girl job and answer my requests in order I receive them (lol OCD tings) and I cant start one until the other is done (again sorry OCD tings). So please note there is a 3 week ish turn around for requests at max. And sometimes if I get a good idea I’ll write my own first cause I have to get it out of my head. But if you want updates feel free to message me or I’ll post an update if I get caught up in life! 
I’m always up for a chat and am pretty active on here so you’re welcome to talk to me about whatever, ask questions or just chat! Please note it’s an 18+ account and if you don’t specify that I won’t reply. 
Ty x
Clover ☘️
Dividers from the brilliant @firefly-graphics 💕
Gifs and images are not mine! 
KEY:
☁️ - Fluff 🔥 - Smut/NSFW 🌤 - Platonic 
🌧  - Tear Jerker / Sad
🌪 - Angst
SERIES: 
COMING SOON: Third Times A Charm | A Chris Evans X RDJ Sister!Reader (description here)
Take Me Home | Nick Vaughan X Reader:
Part 1 -  Meet Cute ☁️
Yes, No, Maybe | Chris Evans X Curvy!Reader:
Part 1 - Chris meets you and has to have you. ☁️🌪
Part 2 - your first date. ☁️
Part 3 (Virgin!Reader) - Chris takes your virginity 🔥☁️
Bubba | Dad!Chris Evans X Pregant/Mom!Reader):
Part 1 - You tell Chris he’s going to be a dad for the first time. ☁️🌧
Part 2 - Protective!DadChris ☁️
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IMAGINES/ONE SHOTS & HEADCANONS:
Chris Evans
You’re Mine (Curvy!Reader) - You’re Chris’s FWB and you wonder if you’re the only one 🔥☁️
All Worth It (Curvy!Reader) - You and Chris go public with your relationship. ☁️
Chris Evans Alphabet (Curvy!Reader) - smut implied but mainly fluff. ☁️
Chris Evans Alphabet NSFW - 🔥
What A Girl Wants - You’re a str!pper and Chris wants you for the night. 🔥
Happiest Man Alive - You’re a florist and Chris proposes at the Oscars ☁️
No One Disrespects Chris’s Girl - A journalist insults you to Chris’s face. 🌪
Best Birthday Ever (Curvy!Reader) - You usually dread your birthday but Chris has a surprise in stall. ☁️
Bed. Now. - Finals week has hit but Chris wants you to sleep. ☁️
Boston Boy Documentary - Your segment in Chris’s documentary. ☁️
Can’t Believe They’re Real - Chris is an ass guy but with tits like yours he cant help be obsessed.  🔥
Favourite Pillows - Chris’s favourite pillows are conveniently on your chest. ☁️
My Angel (Model!Reader) - You’re a Victoria Secret Angel ☁️
Because I Want You - Your bestie, Chris gets a bit jealous...  ☁️🌪
Cookie - Baking cookies doesnt go as planned.  ☁️🔥
High On You - You and Chris enjoy a joint together. ☁️
I’m in Chwarge (Blurb) - No one tells you whhat to do besides Chris ☁️🔥
Tik Tok Leggings - You could say Chris likes your new leggings… 🔥☁️
Eat Shit Ransom - You’ve got a huge crush on Ransom 🌪☁️
Pork or Pasta? - You meet Chris for the first time but arent so sure about him... 🌪☁️
Mint Condition - Captain America Roleplay  🔥
Sexiest Girl Alive (Curvy!Reader) - You get hate for your body and Chris comes to your defence. 🌪☁️
Headcanon!Chris Evans - Chris start to cheer his gf up. How? With stupid cheesy pick up lines ☁️
Steve Rogers 
I’m The Captain Now - Taking Steve’s virginity 🔥
Off to College - You & Steve send your little girl off to College ☁️🌧
Family Matters - Steve’s sister dies 🌧🌤 
Roped Up - Steve ties you up 🔥
Soxs - You get Steve a cat to help with his nightmares. ☁️
Prettiest Girl In The World (PreSerum!Steve X Plussize!Reader) - Steve thinks you’re the best even if you don’t. 🔥☁️🌧
Get A Life - Shortsized!Reader working for Bruce Banner as a lab assistant and Steve has a total crush on her. ☁️
Frank Adler 
Disneyland - You and Frank take Mary to Disney ☁️
Put It On My Tab - Frank introduces Female Bartender!Reader and introduces her to his niece. ☁️
Andy Barber
What To Wear (Curvy!Reader) - Andy helps you find a shirt that fits for your date night. ☁️
Sparks Fly - Soulmate AU ☁️
You’re Sick (Blurb) ☁️
Our Home - Laurie shows up unannounced. 🌪☁️
Knock Knock - You surprise Andy at work. 🔥
Lloyd Hansen
You’re Not Sorry - You act like a brat but Lloyd is going to make you pay for it. 🔥🌪
Ari Levinson
I’ll Take Care of You - Ari is married to your sister but he has you on on his mind. 🔥
Neighbours - You get very friendly with your neighbour, Ari.  🔥
Ransom Drysdale
Good Bunny - Ransom wants to explore the hole God can’t see... 🔥
Liam Hemsworth
Nostalgia - You and Liam reunite but its a little different now. ☁️🌪
279 notes · View notes
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heyyyy🫶🫶 for something quick, do you have any hc of certain AUs for warner? also good luck with prom dress shopping!!💗💗
-🪷
omg hi 🪷!! thank u for the luck i need it cus im sewing some of it and im still a beginner LOLL
for au’s i do have a few that have crossed my mind recently, im sure i can do more that this if i put my mind to it
so i had this idea i scrapped before i even wrote the ferrars! reader hcs and basically its a tangled inspired au (ik super ironic bc kenji is the one tangled obsessed)
reader was hidden away at a young age because of her powers and the restablishment uses them to control the word (like how they utilized emmaline basically) so you live in this secluded tower away from sector 45
so aaron is finds you accidentally when he’s on a mission and he gets separated from his soldiers for a bit and sees the tower
then he climbs up and scares you so you hit him with a pan (LOL) and then you explain that you lived there forever but leave out your gift
aaron reintroduces you to the world and secretly keeps you at the base to hide you from his father (once he learns about what you can do)
then for your birthday he takes you to a festival thing but then your both caught by aarons dad
the rest isnt that planned out but rough synopsis of my idea
and then i often think more abt aaron and reader in present times like
imagine reader and aaron going to the met gala (aaron is ur stylist no one tell me otherwise)
or just any red carpet event, you both tend to match
paparazzi pics of you both
being rumored to break up every week or “cheating” scandals
you both arent really into social media but both def have a pinterest / instagram / maybe twitter
your instagram feed is just pictures of aaron, places, and friends and occasionally yourself
aaron’s feed is literally only pictures of you. he posts like once or twice a month. but his stories are active because he likes to post his outfits or yours.
if you post on any media platform aaron is ALWAYS the first to like & comment no matter what
people constantly asking aaron if he can fight (he always responds he can)
kenji’s the type to make u both participate in tiktoks or prank u with current trends
also you have a group chat with juliette, kenji, nazeera, and adam (he was added by accident but then stayed there)
aaron sends you random pictures of things that reminds him of you. anytime your not tigether he’s going to message you a bunch.
sugar daddy! aaron warner is literally the dream. this one is set in modern era
you are a college student struggling financially, and if you dont get money for tuition you can go to school/will be kicked out. your parents kicked you out for following your own dream, so you have no one to turn to
aaron is a ceo, happens to find you at your job as a barista. he immediately thinks tour the most beautiful person ever and wants to know you. so he shows up almost everyday to the place even though its out of his way to work.
you two get to know each other a bit and you let your financial situation slip out, so aaron offers you money, but you decline and such.
you think thats it, but then you later get an email to let you know your tuition is covered.
you feel bad and offer aaron anything to let ypu repay him in some way, so he bargains that you let him take you to places and basically date him.
so that starts your arrangement.
buys you quite literally anything — even if you dont say you want it. if you glance at it in a store, you’ll see it on your bed the next day.
you even get to move into his apartment because he hates the idea of you in those ugly small dorms, and i’ll be easier for you both to see each other. (he’s clingy)
you go with him at any event, he literally never went to any before he started seeing you now he wants to take you everywhere in pretty dresses
even when your officially dating he won’t stop buying you things, if anything it doubles.
this ones dark so TW but with the the hype of the scream movies going around it got me imagining ghostface! aaron warner working with ghost face! kenji (i imagine this set in the 90s type era bc 1st scream is so iconic)
in this au aaron’s abusive childhood enabled him to have psychopathic tendencies so he starts off with random killings then later gets into the ghostface thing after wanting to get revenge on juliette for cheating on him with adam.
aaron enlists kenji because kenji’s the one that figure out it was him, but he’s doesn’t want him to turn aaron in, he wants to help. but kenji is kind of easy to manipulate so aaron is the master mind.
aaron makes the calls and kenji does most of the killing.
aaron and you are already dating when the killings start happening
you were originally meant to be killed bc you’re bffs with juliette but then aaron fell in love with you so now he protects you (#couplegoals)
if anyone messes with you or a guy gets too close with you, they’re gone. if a person is involved with you then aaron is likely to kill, especially if he already doesn’t like them
adam is the first to go (LMAOO), then its brendan, ian, nazeera (queen was a fighter im sorry
your so oblivious to it all and very scared that ghostface going after you next. and aaron thinks that’s so cute. so much that he calls your house as ghostface just so you can call him all scared and run into his arms for protection.
and if you somehow figure it out he’s just going to kidnap you and lock you somewhere you can’t escape and leave him <3 (i’m insane for wanting that)
105 notes · View notes
nr1chaedickrider · 1 month
Text
It's all in my head, who do I trust? - I thought that you loved me, what is happening to us?
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anyway, don't be a stranger.
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2 new messages,
[user: momo]
'Hey'
...
'Happy birthday,
I did not forget.'
...
'meet me at han river in 10?'
...
'okay.'
-
The cold night air hits Jihyo's face, giving her goosebumps.
It's completly empty except for some couples sitting on the grass.
It makes her wish that she would be one of them.
She puts her hands inside of the pockets of her jacket.
She reaches a familiar bench.
It makes her think, about the old times.
About her first kiss.
About the confession of love in the rain - like a romantic movie that would have the watchers sobbing in their seats.
It got her sobbing too, in the depth of the night.
When she feels lonely, and vunerable.
A side of her that she doesn't want anyone to see.
She sits down on the bench, staring at the water.
She tries to lean back, tries to relax.
How is she able to relax if exactly she was the first person to congratulate her on her birthday?
"Jihyo" says Momo in a soft voice.
How is she supposed to relax when she says her name like that?
She looks up, from the water, and looks Momo in the eyes before she joins her on the bench.
They both stare at the water, without saying anything.
Even though people would describe Jihyo as someone that always has something to say, as someone that can't stay silent for too long, she has no idea what to say in this moment.
But that is nothing new to Jihyo, or to Momo, moments like these, in silence, are nothing new to them.
Jihyo decides to break the silence though.
"I only allow myself to miss you at night, I miss you in the secret -
because thats how it should be." she says, it comes out as a whisper.
It's an impulsive thought.
Momo looks at her, nods a little, then looks back at the river.
"Do you still think of me sometimes?" Jihyo asks.
She wishes she didn't ask that question after thinking about it long enough.
She wishes she didn't answer Momo's stupid texts.
She knows what her answer is going to be, something like a "no, I dont, not really."
But she is actually surprised when Momo answers.
"I do.
A lot actually"
This time Jihyo looks at Momo, without saying anything.
It feels like they are having an pointless conversation, with no goal or no end.
"Sometimes I want to text you -
but then I remember" Momo says.
Jihyo thinks she even heard a little sob when Momo said it.
But she doesn't want to think about it too much.
It's silent again, both watching people slowly leave the river.
The couples leave together, hand in hand.
Jihyo gets emotional seeing it.
"Atleast we are under the same sky" Jihyo says.
She feels the tears coming, but tries to hold them back.
"Maybe in another universe" Momo says, or rather, whispers.
And Jihyo is definetly sure that she heard a sob.
"I'm starting to forget you, I'm starting to forget us -
and it scares me." Jihyo says.
It's pointless.
This conversation.
They are both pathetically crying, like little, spoiled children that got their candy taken away.
They try to focus on the han river infront of them, they try to ignore the fact that this,
somehow is a goodbye.
"Can we have one more meaningless conversation?" Jihyo asks, even thought she already knows the answer to her stupid question.
"It's too late" Momo answers.
And she is right, she is so fucking right.
But Jihyo doesn't want it to be true.
Jihyo just wishes they could go back to talking once in a while because one of them is feeling alone in the middle of the night.
It doesn't need to be constant texting.
Just every now and then.
"I don't want to forget your voice"
She is trying to drag this out, to stop Momo from leaving.
"Or anything about you." Jihyo says, looking down onto her lap.
She watches her tears dropping onto her black jeans.
"I will look at the stars every night -
and I will think of you" Momo answers.
"My birthday wish for you is to let go" Momo says as she stands up.
Jihyo doesn't stop her when she starts walking.
She knows she can't stop her.
She knows she couldn't.
So instead of running after her, or leaving to walk to her apartment, she just watches Momo leave.
Her figure disappears in the darkness of the night.
"Anyway,
don't be a stranger." she whispers.
43 notes · View notes
sprout-fics · 5 months
Note
I dont know if this’ll make sense so I will try my best, but I hope in the end it’ll just help ease the anxiety you might have cause I’m normally a silent observer and like watching and reading and enjoying from afar
But you know Christmas cacti? It’s a plain little succulent that quietly makes a space in your home green and pleasant? But during the cold months it’ll make these bright beautiful flowers that are just so vibrant and pretty compared to the leaves and it’s hard not to look at cause gosh is it pretty. And they’ll stay for some time, a good couple of weeks, and then the blooms will fall off and it’s back to its sleepy self again till next season.
That’s how I come to this blog, and your writing. It’s so lovely, even when you haven’t posted anything. It’s a comfort to come back to and I enjoy each and every time cause it was great from the beginning. And when you post something new, it’s so exciting and I come running.
So if you find yourself just wanting to sit back, not posting so often, I’m very sure so many of us will come flocking to your writings or posts anyways cause even if it doesn’t last long or forever or it’s only a short time, we’ll enjoy what you have to give cause it’s a treat every single time. Like a Christmas cactus
Does that make sense? Anyways. I will always look forward for what you have to give, even if it’s weeks, months, or years in between each release of anything. Cause it’s worth it to me and it’ll feel just as good as the first, second, and third time, ya know?
Happy belated birthday, sorry I didn’t say it sooner, but take care of yourself. You deserve every good that you get so take it! 😊
I've read this message several times within the past day. I think it's one of the sweetest, kindest, most thoughtful messages I've ever had the pleasure to receive. I wish I had words to express how much I cherish it. I am so honored to be the recipient of this.
I used to feel the same way about this blog. It was a shelter from the rainstorm, a gentle place to land. Now, it makes me anxious and nervous- like being thrust outside into a gale and not knowing where to go. I think it's time I take a long, very long break. I tried to take one a little bit ago, but I don't think it solved the root issue of why I'm not enjoying myself, whatever that may be. I wish I knew. I wish I knew so I could fix it.
I'll be gone for a while. I'll still be uploading to ao3, but I don't find myself having the energy to crosspost here anymore. I'm not going to stop writing, but I am going to start doing it in a way where I'm writing for myself again, and not for others. I need to find the thing that made me start writing in the first place, so that if and when I come back, it will be through joy, not through an obligation of doing things just to do them. I have to stop treating myself like a content machine.
I'll still reblog things to @sprout-fics-reblogs probably. I like being here and seeing others' art and fics. I just won't be posting myself. I think I'm going to turn off asks as well. Just trying to shrink down and allow this blog to go dormant.
I appreciate every single person who has reached out to me. I have so many kind people following me and I think I take that for granted sometimes. Thank you. If you want to reach out to me, feel free to DM me, and I'll send you my discord.
Talk soon. Thank you. I love you. Bye.
33 notes · View notes
starfxkr · 3 months
Note
jealous jj omg he gets so possessive after some kook tries hitting on his gf at a party he threw with the pogues.
it was supposed to be a fun night— hell it was a fun night at first. everything was perfect, you were pleasantly high and only a little tipsy, all of your friends were there at the birthday party your boyfriend jj had thrown for you.
nothing could have ruined your night— then that fucking kook just had to walk up to you. it started innocently enough, just another person wishing you a happy birthday amongst others, until it wasnt. he had you caged against a cooler, obviously flirting with you or trying to at least.
“the party’s nice and all, but i dont see why youre wasting your time with maybank, i could take you anywhere you wanted as long as you said the word. have you ever been to paris? absolutely stunning i gonat least twice a year.”
you havent. he’s so fucking stupid the idea that youve never left the state of north carolina and likely never will never crosses his mind. probably because he’s too busy staring at your tits to actually care what you had to say. moments like these always made you feel like these kooks flirted with you less because they liked you, and more because they wanted to take something else from jj, just to prove they would.
lucky for you, your boyfriend seemed to hear the psychic messages you were send out for help, because there he was sauntering over with a clenched jaw and a tight smile.
“something i can help you with over here man?”, he clasped a strong hand on the other guy’s shoulder. “because i dont think my girlfriend’s got what youre lookin for.”
he just scoffs in the blondes face and tries to dismiss him with a wave of the hand, “we’re in the middle of a conversation maybank, you tellin me youre so insecure she cant have friends?”
jj doesnt even acknowledge him, just looks at you and asks “this your friend babydoll?” with a nod of his head. this is going to get very ugly…good.
you shake your head with a bright smile, heart beating fast with anticipation— you couldnt be happier to get the fuck up outta there, “nope not at all” you manage to slide from where you were pinned and step behind jj.
“mhm..thats what i thought.” is the last thing he says before his fist flies into the stupid kook’s nose.
𐙚⊹₊⋆☆
26 notes · View notes
cipher-zoo · 1 year
Note
First off to the birthday anon you own me financial compensation because one gonna be thinking about that forever
And kinda expanding on that maybe when buggy is a bit older its his birthday again and this time they didnt forget and they get a party set up that night. And then buggy doesnt show up. He is gone for hours and they are freaking out. Its well past midnight when buggy shows up scuffed and bruised but okay.
And they are demanding where is was at and why he didnt come to his own birthday party and to that buggy is just dismissively like “oh that was today”
And when the press further about where he was (cuase he wont tell anyone) he is just in general confused he is like “ sorry about the party but like you usually dont care when im usuallyout”
And before his mind can catch up Rayliegh ask “ what do you mean your usually out?”
And the look and buggys face is enough to tell them they once again fucked up and now everyone is trying to remember the last they saw buggy actually on the ship whenever their docked.
Buggy had assumed they knew when he was gone and just never asked either becuase they trusted him or just didnt care, they hadnt left him yet (there had been some close calls). He bother to hear the rest and just heads off to bed
Reggie, my friend! You can't demand financial compensation and then break MY heart in return! What did I do? I'm just the messenger here - well, a very unreliable messenger who adds their own thoughts and takes to other people's messages 🤔 ... but a messenger nonetheless!
All this being said, holy hell, I love this.
I have this Headcanon that, over the years, Buggy turned out to be a far bigger troublemaker than Shanks. At least on one hand, because he had less to lose than Shanks - after all Shanks was the golden boy, and we can't ignore that that must have put a lot of pressure on his shoulders as well - and on the other hand, because Buggy, as we know him, just gets himself into the most miserable situations. [Rayleigh definitely had to have the 'you can't follow strangers, just because they tell you they have treasure in the back of their carriage' conversation with Buggy MULTIPLE times]
Now I'm not just saying this to ramble, but because I think that maybe this is how the situation could have started.
When he was younger, Buggy would every now and again get in trouble for staying away from the ship for too long. I believe in the early days this was by no means on purpose, he was simply set on some goal or another that had him so focused he simply forgot to get back in time (that, or he got in trouble). Which in turn would get him stuck with more chores or maybe being stuck with guard duty for the next island etc.
But over the years, Buggy noticed that he would get in trouble less and less often. And he started to assume that Rayleigh simply realized that he could trust Buggy to stay out longer, since he was getting older and even if he wasn't as strong as Shanks, he could defend himself if necessary.
Only then to realize that the real reason was that nobody even NOTICED that he wasn't there... yeah, that must have hurt.
I don't know if you listen to musicals, but there is this song: "Superboy and the Invisible Girl" from the musical Next to Normal. And I have to say, this whole situation reminds me of that a lot.
Thank you very much for sharing these thoughts with me. Even if it hurts.
[Also, part of me feels like I need to write some happy Roger Pirate head canons, because as I said, I love them so much, and I know I am portraying them in a negative light a lot right now, but that's just one verse of them I could see!]
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