#and dont imagine the mixtape clattering to the floor as the empty takes cas after the confession bc cas leaves it behind

[sobsicles]

okay but dean watching cas come through the rift, after having to be dragged out by his brother, feeling relief for a heartstopping second because the angel he couldn't abandon—the one he was literally screaming out for as his brother forces him to go—is standing right there. and he's okay. he made it out. and dean takes a breath, thinking that it will come out easy when he could barely breathe before. but then it hitches in his throat and escapes him on a shout, no ripping out of his throat because cas' eyes are glowing too bright and that's a blade sticking out of his chest. and he falls to his knees because he can't stand it, can't stand at all. and then he has to wrap that body and burns it, looking into the face of the person who shouldn't be dead, knowing that the fact that he is will rot inside him until he's deteriorating. and what if—just what if—dean forces himself to check the pockets of the angel who never seems to own anything, and he feels something plastic brush against his fingertips? what if he slowly draws it out and stares at the mixtape, his heart in his throat and his eyes burning? what if he realizes cas took it to heart? it's a gift, you keep those. and cas kept it. he kept it for his whole life. because he's dead now.

#ready for some 'i should be sleeping but i am thinking about painful things and now you must think about them too' posting? #just the idea of cas literally keeping the mixtape on him at all times bc it's a gift from his crush makes me unhinged #but imagining dean finding that mixtape on cas' body??? #oh buddy im about to go FERAL #if you would like some comfort just imagine that dean gives it back when cas returns like he gave back the trenchcoat #and dont imagine the mixtape clattering to the floor as the empty takes cas after the confession bc cas leaves it behind #anyway this is how my night is going how are you all doing #destiel #ft. the mixtape #two idiots in love #just stab me in the knee #i am ;;; aching