#and during those 5 months I learned everything I could about the calls I was already taking

[mysticfalls01]

Time

(Williamson!reader)

The Wonder Twins Universe

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5

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You had your debut two weeks after arriving to the team, you played in a friendly against Atletico during the preseason. You entered the pitch as a sub for the second half and your impact was immediate. Jonatan saw the way you orchestrated the midfield, your communication with both the defenders and the strikers and how everything went smoothly. The game ended 5-0 with you being player of the match as you contributed with 2 assists, and you had participated in the building of a third goal.

Not only your impact in the team was noticeable but also the impact of joining Barcelona was noticeable. You started learning Spanish to speak with the staff, your teammates and with the fans, you also started to gain more muscle as training in Barcelona was more rigorous than with Arsenal. You felt as if you had been playing in Barcelona for years.

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

Before you knew it you already had been in Barcelona for a month and a half. You loved everything in Barcelona, the city, the warm weather, the staff, and your teammates.

You thought that joining such a united team it would have been difficult to be accepted and to join into the team’s dynamics however, it has been the opposite.

You could say that Mapi has become your closest friend in Barcelona, she made sure to make your adaptation easier and Ingrid became your confidant and the person with whom you went for advice as she understood perfectly what you were going through, being a foreigner joining Barcelona. Patri and Claudia became your annoying little sisters while with Jana and Bruna you felt the necessity of protecting them and teaching them everything you could, you were sure that those two would become superstars.

Having other British teammates joining at the same time as you have made everything better, you had a piece of home in Barcelona thanks to them.

Finally, Alexia. The chemistry you had her was undeniably, you made her laugh with your clumsiness and with the stories you told her about your adventures with Leah when you were younger and she made your heartbeat faster, you love the passion she has about the game for either the club or her national team. You couldn’t stop thinking about the Catalan and you couldn’t wait for her to be on the pitch again.

The only negative part of joining Barcelona was being separated from your family, specially from your twin. You talked with Leah every time it was possible, you missed being with her almost 24/7. Being separated from her while it gave you a sense of independence it was also the worst feeling ever.

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

Being in Liga F has taught about a new playing style, your skills have only gotten better and it was noticed by Sarina so it wasn’t a surprise when you were announced as part of the squad for the international break and that’s how you found yourself in the locker room after the last practice before the break saying goodbye to some of your teammates.

“Mapi! Don’t do anything to crazy while I’m gone!”

“Me?!? y/nn I don’t why would you say that” Mapi said with a fake innocent voice.

“You are right Mapi. How could I say that? You are an angel” you said smiling with a sarcastic voice.

You picked up your things before approaching Mapi, hugging her and whispering. “Mapi, if there’s something bothering you, and I mean anything at all you about the coach from your national team remember that I’m one call away.”

“Thank you y/nn, I can’t stand anymore Vilda and his staff. I don’t know what to do, I want to stay strong for the younger ones” she whispered back to you.

“Remember Mapi, one call away” you whispered back before separating.

“Good luck with Norway Ingrid!” you said while giving her a quick hug.

“You to y/nn! I hope everything goes well with the Lionesses”

After saying goodbye to more teammates, you went looking for Alexia who should be finishing her physiotherapy session. You were waiting outside the physiotherapy room when she came out.

“Ale! I couldn’t leave without saying goodbye to you” you said looking directly to her eyes and giving her a soft smile.

She approached you and hugged you.

“If you couldn’t say goodbye I would have understood. Our schedules are hectic.”

“Ale, I had to say goodbye. I wouldn’t have been comfortable without it.”

You guys kept hugging until you heard Lucy “Williamson! We need to go! Are you ready?!”

You separated from Alexia and turned around towards Lucy yelled “Yeah Lucy! Just give me two more minutes!”

Lucy realized that you and Alexia were having a moment, before leaving she said “Two minutes Williamson!”

You turned around back to Alexia and said “Ale I know that I will only be gone for like 10 days, but I’ll miss you”

“I’ll miss you to y/n, good luck for your games y/nn, I’ll make sure to watch every single match. You better return to me, I mean Barcelona in one piece, I would hate for you to join me and the physios.”

“Don’t worry Ale, I’ll take care of my myself” you told her smiling.

Before leaving and turning around you gave her a kiss in the cheek close to her mouth.

If you had turned around to see her reaction, you would’ve seen her really red face and how her fingers here softly caressing the exact spot of the kiss.

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

St George's Park, you really had missed that place.

You, Lucy and Keira were just arriving to the place. You couldn’t wait to see your teammates again but the person you wanted to see the most was Leah.

As soon as you guys left the van you were greeted by the media team. After you waved and greeted the camera you entered the lobby.

Before you could even greet some teammates and Sarina a body had tackled you. You immediately recognized her blonde hair and hugged her.

“Look! The Wonder Twins are finally reunited” Tooney said.

After her words everyone turned their attention towards you and your twin.

Everyone could see that was an emotional exchange, they couldn’t imagine how you guys felt.

Finally, Leah and you separated and you greeted everyone.

After greeting everyone Leah hugged you again “I’ve missed you so much sis”

“I missed you too Lee, there’s so much that I need to tell you. There might be someone special in Barcelona” you whispered.

You guys separated and she smiled at you before she could talk Rachel’s voice interrupted her.

“Oi! y/nn what are they feeding you with in Barcelona. You have more muscles than you did before and only in a period of two months!” 

After hearing that you couldn’t help but to laugh.

You couldn’t wait to play to play again with your sister.  After all you guys are The Wonder Twins.

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

Thank you to everyone! The love recieved by part three was amazing.

If there is anything that you guys would like to see please comment it!

#barcelona femeni x reader #alexia putellas x reader #woso imagine #woso x reader #woso fanfics #woso community #engwnt x reader #leah williamson x reader #alexia putellas imagine #leah williamson imagine #mapi leon #wonder twins universe

[wolfjackle-creates]

WIP Wednesday

So, here's a short excerpt for WIP Wednesday (963 words)! Thank you for everyone who followed my new writing blog, the response has been so unbelievable.

Trigger Warning: Discussion of parental death

Original Prompt Fill

1st Shared Segment

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IKnowYourSecrets: hey

IKnowYourSecrets: I know this isnt something weve done before

IKnowYourSecrets: you said you got a cell for your last bday

IKnowYourSecrets: can I call you?

IKnowYourSecrets: heres my number XXX-XXX-XXXX

-xXPolarisXx-: is everything ok?

-xXPolarisXx-: dont answer that

-xXPolarisXx-: obv not

-xXPolarisXx-: my phones in my room brb

Danny ran up stairs to grab his phone and return to the computer before anyone could close out of his chat. He checked the number and dialed it, closing out of everything and logging out as the call connected.

“Tim?” he asked as soon as the ringing stopped. “What’s happened?”

“Danny? I… this is weird talking like this.” Tim’s voice was rough and Danny couldn’t tell if that was from emotion or just how he normally sounded.

Danny laughed a little. “Yeah. It is. Give me a sec, let me get to my room and I’ll shut the door. Give us some privacy.”

“I… yeah. I might need a few minutes.”

“Are you okay?”

Tim made a sound that was somewhere between a laugh and a sob and Danny all but ran up the stairs. “No, not really. Um. My mom’s dead.”

“What?!" What was the appropriate response to something like this? Sometimes he wished he had Jazz's way with words. "What happened?”

“She and dad were in the Caribbean." Tim let out a huff. "I didn’t even know they were in the Caribbean.”

Danny made a noise to indicate he was listening, but waited for Tim to continue.

“There was a local villain named Obeah man. He captured them and held them ransom. Gave them some water to drink at some point, but… it was poisoned. By the time Batman got there, it was too late. Mom died.” Tim gave another half-hysterical laugh. “And my dad is in a coma. He may never wake up.” His voice trailed off.

Danny swallowed. How does anyone respond to news like that? “I’m so sorry, Tim. How are you holding up? What’s going to happen now?”

“The funeral is in two days. Bruce is organizing it. And I’m going to stay with him, I guess. He said he’d be happy to foster me until my dad gets better.”

“Shit, Tim. Text me during the funeral if you need to.”

“I might take you up on that. You won’t mind?”

“Of course not. Every 5 seconds if you need to.”

“Distract me. What’s going on in your life? I don’t want to think about any of this anymore.”

“Oh, uh, all right. Are you sure?”

“Please, Danny.”

“If you change your mind, interrupt me anytime.” Danny chewed his lip. What on earth could he talk about in response to news like that? The test he had in English last week? That sounded so trite. “I did start karate training with…” he trailed off before he could say his mom. “Anyway, it’s going all right. I’ve basically only been taught basic moves. I only get lessons two or three times a month so it’s slow going.”

Tim’s voice was still shaky, but he seemed to latch onto the topic to Danny’s relief. “You really have to give it your all if you want to succeed. Have you learned the basic stances and things?”

“Some, I think.”

“Hold those positions. Stand in your room and just hold them for ten minutes at a time. And practice the same punch over and over. Even if your m—” Tim’s voice caught and he changed course “—instructor can’t make it. Would you be allowed to sign up for classes? Get something more consistent?”

“We don’t have the money.” Danny bit back the embarrassment he felt at admitting that. Tim was rich-rich and never had to worry about things like bills. “Ghost hunting doesn’t really pay. My parents are at least good engineers so they can fix our own appliances and vehicles. Sometimes dad or mom will fix stuff for the neighbors for some extra money.”

Tim hummed in understanding and didn’t push the issue. “How did they even get into ghosts to begin with?”

“If we ever end up in the same place, you are not allowed to ask that directly to my parents. Don’t mention ghosts at all. They won’t stop talking for hours. As for how they got into it… Dad’s always believed in the supernatural. He could’ve just as easily started tracking big foot or the Loch Ness Monster. But he met mom in university and she was stuck on ghosts. Dragged him in, too. And he’s obsessive. Once he decides on something, that’s it.

“They were both studying the supernatural and had to decide what to focus on for their doctoral research. Mom’s hated ghosts since she was a teenager. Apparently she and a friend were dared to go into a haunted house one Halloween. She doesn’t talk about it much, but her friend died that night. She blames the ghosts and has dedicated her life to hunting them ever since.”

Tim clicked his tongue. “Wow. It almost makes sense with that back story.”

Danny snorted. “Ghosts aren’t real. I dunno what killed her friend, but it wasn’t a ghost. Wish they’d decided to hunt Bigfoot instead.”

“Really? Why do you say that?”

Danny looked out his window and stared at the setting sun. “If they were hunting bigfoot, we’d probably go camping more often. And I like camping. You get the best views of the stars that way.”

“What’s your favorite constellation?”

“That’s like asking who my favorite Star Trek character is! There’s too many to choose. But do you know the folk history of Polaris? It’s why I chose my username.” Danny talked to Tim about the stars and space until Alfred called him away for dinner. They made plans to talk online again later.

-----

Next

Now, I have a question for y'all. I was planning on finishing the entire work then publishing on a once a week basis until finished (or twice a week if I had more chapters than I expect). I've got the first chapter mostly done, just need to rewrite one section and change a few lines elsewhere. I also have the next 1.5 chapters mostly done on a first draft. I could start posting now, but I can't guarantee a posting schedule and I'll probably have to take a hiatus or two as I plan to get a new job and move sometime in the next few months.

So my question, do you want me to post now or wait? It'll probably be several months if not a year before I finish depending on how long I take and how many other projects catch my eye.

-----

In other news, the creator of the original prompt started their own fill, too! If you read mine, I am requiring you to check theirs as well because it is amazing 💕. Tumblr Link and AO3 Link

Tag List

@gremlin-bot, @bonebrokebuddy, @britcision, @lady-time-lord-, @welcometosasakiworld, @akikkobara, @phoenixdemonqueen, @dolfay, @skulld3mort-1fan, @we-ezer, @markus209, @sjrose1216, @onyxlightdragon, @dragonsrequiem, @jesus-camp-the-sequel, @spidey29phangirl, @kyrianclawraith, @evilminji, @introvert-even-on-the-internet, @emergentpanda-blog, @lexdamo, @v-inari, @idontgetpaidenoughforthisshit, @longlivethefallen

I removed the names of some people who requested a tag back in November but didn’t interact with the last snippet I shared. Since it’s been so long, I wasn’t sure if you were still interested. I’ll be more than happy to add anyone else, re-add anyone I took off, or take off anyone who doesn’t want future tags! Or start a separate list just for after there’s an AO3 link. Just let me know!

#dp x dc #my writing #bring me home fic #danny fenton #tim drake #first phone call #not a happy day #but theyll get through it

[gentil-minou]

The teen wangxian version of lwj playing inquiry after wwx's death would be lwj texting the number wwx used to use before he deactivated everything. He does this every couple months, with a Hi or How are you or I miss you.

The stranger who uses that number now doesn't want to break the poor boys heart and tell him so they just ignore it.

Wwx isn't dead btw he dropped out of his ivy league after some really bad mental health to live a nomadic lifestyle out of his old beat up van Chenqing, but during that time he'd purposely pushed everyone away

Eventually after 13 months when wwx decides he's ready to go back online and come out of hiding he manages to get his old number back!

Except he keeps getting these messages for a number he doesn't know and he thinks 'wow I wonder what it's like to be loved by someone like this'

(There was a time where he used to know that number by heart

There was a time when a text from that number was the first thing he'd see in the morning and the last message he'd send that night

There was a time when he never would have thought he could forget that number…)

5 months after he's gotten his number back and moved in with the Wens, slowly becoming himself again, the mystery number starts leaving voicemails

They don't say anything, just some faint breathing on the line, like wind whistling by. Soothing, in a way wwx can't figure out why

WQ says he should delete them and block the number. WN says he should politely message the person and let them know they have the wrong number.

Wwx does neither.

His inbox slowly fills with them, and on his worst nights when he feels like hes going to lose it again, when he feels like hes back on that ledge looking over calculating the force from the impact, he'll listen those breaths as he slowly falls asleep

Years pass and the world goes on.

Wwx gets back in touch with his siblings. Their meetings are tense and won't ever be the same as it was…before. But for now, it's enough.

He's working nights at a bar and going to art school during the day. Therapy every week.

It's strange how much he likes school now that he gets to learn the things that interest him. There's a lot he misses from his old life, and a lot he doesn't.

He keeps every message and voice-mail he gets, but he never replies. He can't explain why.

On the side, he helps out the Wens with recovering from their own tragedy.

Years ago there'd been an accident where they'd lost their cousins. At the time, they'd thought that included their nephew. That they'd lost him too.

When Wen Qing finally gets a hold of the report, they learn they didn't.

It's takes some not so legal finagling, but what else is wwx going to use his coding skills for?

The Wens learn their cousins son was injured but alive. That he'd been adopted while he was still recovering in the hospital.

The number the hospital has on file is eerily familiar.

There's no time to think any more about it. The Wens are in hyperdrive, trying to figure out how to contact this person. Hoping they might see their nephew, finally.

WQ says she was able to call the number and talk to the adoptive father about meeting up.

Wwx goes to bed feeling happy and good and like he can still do some things right. He falls asleep with a smile on his face.

He wakes up at 5am the next morning to a text, and he realizes why that number was so familiar.

The text, from a-yuan's adoptive dad, what are the chances, reads:

"I have always lived my life to be true and do what is right, but I find myself afraid. What if I have done something terrible? What would you say?"

His heart beating a hole in his chest, wwx finally texts back.

(threadfic here)

#idk if im going to continue this #originally i wanted to post about cringe teen wangxian but then i made myself sad by accident #oops? #mdzs #mo dao zu shi #wangxian #lan wangji #wei wuxian #mdzs musings #bushy writing

[dayslynthesix]

i was thinking about it while i was listening to a podcast and ill give it a go, hope you enjoy this one because i love the idea, reader (whos gonna have a name because i cant write for y/n anymore and i dont know why is a redbull engineer who happens to have a podcast

Getaway Car | Charles Leclerc x podcaster!reader

When Anna Zedra accepted the job as junior engineering at RedBull racing, she never thought that a job on the navy blue team would also give her a boyfriend. A boyfriend who used to drive for the infamous red team. A boyfriend who wanted so bad to be world champion but who could never won on that team. Everything started in 2022, middle of the season, pole and no win. And again. And again. And it started to get exhausting. Until Austria. Charles won on Redbull ring, and he thought it would be different. But it wasn't. As the season went on, Christian and the entire team were keeping an eye on his performance. RedBull offered a 2 years contract, they would pay him out of Ferrari, he didn't signed. But Charles had kept that contract in his drawer for the most part of the 2023 season, until COTA, and after that disastrous race, he called Christian, and that called lead to a meeting and a meeting lead to the Brazilian GP, who leads to the cover of all the sports magazine "Charles Leclerc signs with RedBull Racing for the 2024 season."

When Anna Zedra accepted the job as junior engineering at RedBull racing, her podcast was already a success into the motorsport. The All About Racing was an informative podcast who almost every month received a new guest. The 2022 season was marked by almost everyone making an appearance on the podcast. Max, Daniel, Christian, even Lewis Hamilton agreed to be on one of the episodes - and it was one of the most streamed episodes of the platform.

When Charles and Anna started to see each other, during the 2023 Italian GP, he was yet under Ferrari contract, but every once in a while he made a comment here and there about wanting to be on the podcast. Once the 2024 season started, and Anna was designed as his race engineer, and he was announced as the second driver of the team, they made a deal, they would record the episode after the first race and it would be released after his first win of the team. Charles wasn't expecting to win so soon, but he claimed his firts victory at the Saudi Arabia GP, he won the race with 15s to second place. So the podcast was aired during the middle of the night, because a deal is a deal.

Podcast transcription:

Anna: Hello everyone and welcome back to All About Racing, just for a little announcement, this podcast was recorded on the march 2nd, right after the Bahrein Grand Prix and as you know, our guest for today episode is no one else but Charles Leclerc. Welcome, Charles, thank you so much for being here today. I know how it went, but tell us, how it went qualy and the race?

Charles: Hello Anna. Thank you for having me and lets pretending you had a choice on that *laughs* Qualy went very well for the team, first qualy with RedBull and we had a 1-2 for the team, Max did an amazing lap on q3, but I'm very happy with the results, the car feels amazing and I'm very proud of my lap as well. The race was very good as well, the car is incredible reliable and it felt amazing to be on that podium. Aiming the highest spot nex week

Anna: Im very happy to listen that the car feels nice, I spend a lot of time working on that project. Adrian Newey learned everything he knows from me. Jokes a part, I know your dream was to win with Ferrari, for your dad, for Jules, for your young self, so how does it feels to move to RedBull after 5 years with Ferrari?

Charles: I mean... it was a tough call. I always wanted to drive for Ferrari, win on the red car, put a flag in Maranello, and in some level I did those things, I won with them, I was very happy in Monza in 2019, and I had some very incredible moments with the team and the tifosi and all related. My dad would be so happy for me to drive for them, I wanted to keep Jules legacy alive and so far being compared to him is still the most amazing thing I could ever experience. But it came a moment that I knew that I couldn't do more than what I was already doing, the car was very difficult to drive and it didn't suited my driving style and a lot of bad stuf kept happening and slowly it was killing me, it was killing my faith in myself and I wasn't believing in me, or the driver I am. It hurt a lot the moment I decided to leave, not to wear red in Monza or not to recieve the tifosi love... I thought it was over, if I wasn't a Ferrari driver I thought I would be no one. And then Christian and I we talked and I signed that contract and I drove the RB20 and everything clicked, Christian let me do something that I don't think is pretty common, but earlier this year I went on a private practice with the last 2 RBR cars, and I remember, like, feeling the car and suddenly the driver I am was awaken again, and I felt my confidence again and it just made sense. After the announcement I was so afraid of what the tifosi would say to me and I was so surprised of the amount of love I kept receiving. Yeah, I am no longer a Ferrari driver, I was for 5 years and I loved being part of the red team, but it came a point of a driver career that we need to make the choices which are better for our inner driver, not just ourselves. And I am immensely happy with RedBull, with the car and the team and everything.

Anna: Wow, that was very deep, you and I we alredy had this same conversation but is still very warming to listen to all of that again and to know that you are happy with the team, we are also very happy with you wearing navy blue. You said you're very happy and all, but walk us through your relationship with Max and how beeing teammates is working so far. We are insanely happy that there was no inchidents on the race.

Charles: *laughs* Oh my God, you'll never gonna let go, are you? Max and I we became pretty close om track during late season of 2019 and of track in 2022, we spent a lot of time playing padel and tennis and alson on the sim. We drive pretty much the same way, so it is very easy for the team to build a car that suits us both. During the race today we spend solid 25 laps fighting for position, he is way more used with the car than I am, so he won that one, but I am coming for him next race, there was no incidents and I'm pretty positive we will keep this way. We work fine on track, and Christian made us swear that whatever happens on track, stay on track.

Anna: Well done. No more inchidents, I see. There's people making comments on twitter and instagram about teams orders and first and second driver... what do you have to say about it?

Charles: No team orders, Max and I are free to fight as long as there's no risk of compromising each others position or the team, if theresa risk whomever is faster will get priority and the slowest will defend. Choosing a first and second driver is very good for car development, but considering that our driving style is very close there's no need to chose in which direction the car will go, whatever suits Max will most likely suit me as well. Obviously, as the season will developing, if theresa risk or a driver coming very close in points, the one who has more point will get priority as well, which is fair. And Max and I we are definitely not allowed to pull a Baku 2018 or a Spain 2016.

Anna: As a engineer and e RedBull employee I was already very familiar with that. You seems to be very close to a few drivers, how do you think being this close to others drivers helped to improve your driving skills?

Charles: I didn't have the amount of teammates Lewis had, for example, but I was teammate with Seb for 2 seasons and it was such a great experience to learn from him, to be close, to see how he thinks and how he matches with the car and all of that helped me a lot on how I would connect myself with the car as well, I've learned to be patient, to trust my institution and principally understand how the car is working and how to merge with a car who does not suit me 100%. When I signed with RedBull I called my mom, obviously and Seb was the second person I've called and I remembered exactly what he told me all the years we raced together, to not to waste my talent. I'm very close to Lewis as well, we went surfing last year and we have a lot in common, as drivers and as human beings. Not ironically, Jenson Button was around during last year and we've spent some time together as well, I was trying to learn how to be more smooth and he told me not to do that, because the way I drive today is the way I've learned how to drive and that's what gives me speed.

Anna: Lately we all have been talking about woman in formula one, it is another of our conversations so i already know all your thoughts but the audience doesn't, so please, elucidate us with your thoughts.

Charles: I don't think it should have this separation between man and woman in motorsport, it is not like they can't tolerate the conditions of a track you know? I think with F1 academy we are miles closer to have a woman in F1 than we were a few years ago but we are also miles away from it. One, I don't think there's a lot of teams who would "take the risk" and two I think for the comments I've read online that it isn't fair for any woman to have to deal with that, you know? Not performing well is a shot in the ego and all this comments put together is harmful. I watch volleyball, it is a strange habit that I've developed with Jenson because his wife is a volleyball player and those girls are playing two and a half hours match, they're running all the court, they're jumping and throwing themselves on the floor and like the gym time? Insane. Tennis as well, there's a few matches that are hours long and they are playing high level tennis and tennis is a very aggressive sport... so like I don't think the "woman doesn't have the physical to formula one" because it is not true. F1 is still a very exclusive sport, especially if you bring sponsors and teams are not comfortable of letting money go, there's 20 of us, soon to be 22 or 24 if Porsche and Audi make it and there's nothing on regulation that prohibits woman in F1, it would be very nice if one of those new teams go for a woman line up. RedBull last year had a reserve driver who performed amazingly, it was like she could see physically the track, the lines and kerbs. I'm all for woman in motorsport, Max and I we went to a girls karting track in Germany during the winter break and they are very talented.

Anna: Race weekend after race weekend I saw people on twitter talking about how they think you are not a F1 champion material, how you should be more vocal about what you want... everything someone who never been inside a F1 car could tell about it. How do you keep you mentality strong? We all know that you can perform under pressure. You won in Monza with 2 Mercedes pressuring you, you won in Austria with a throttle issue. You won your F2 championship after your dad passed away, you kept going for Jules... that's all very different of the kinda of pressure every other driver suffered during their careers.

Charles: I mean, I don't have to prove myself anymore. I impressed who I had to impress, I won a F3 and F2 championship. I'm here. I'm driving a F1 car every sunday. I've won in Formula One, so there's no one else that I have to impress anymore. I'm not calling the team out on the radio during a race, I don't think that's how you fix things, and I think it is the kind of thing that you talk privately with your team behind garage doors. I'm the one who's driving, the team is the one who have tha data, the difference between the car in front of me and the car behind me, the window we have to pit, the tyres we can use and the omes that makes the car performs better. The team needs to have their best interests to maximize the points on that weekend. It is not my job to do more than drive. But one thing is for sure, I'm the one who's driving, who's feeling the car, and once I tell the team that pitting for hards is a bad choice and that we need to pit for medium, because I am feeling the car, and they don't listen to me, that's out of my hands. I'll take full responsibility for my own mistakes. Imola in 2022? It was on me. France 2022? It was my fault. I'll take that, I accept that and I'll learn with those mistakes and I will do better the next time. Just because I don't scream on the radio and expose the team to the media it does means that I will not call them out privately. And people talk about it because they are not the one who is inside that cockpit.

Anna: You've been doing your job brilliantly. Everyone who truly understands F1 knows that, you wouldn't be driving for Ferrari in your second year if you weren't a good driver. Or for RedBull, and God knows the amount of years we were waiting for this to happen.

Charles: It is happening now. And about my dad and Jules... I was doing my job, I mourned my father after that race, I've cried and I've missed him ever since, I kept going for him and for the legacy Jules was building in F1. I had to prove myself to them, and to my mom. People can say whatever they want to, and if they think they know more about strategy and power units and stuff they can apply to work in F1. I like the pressure. I think it makes me a better driver. Winning when there's no one challenging you it not my type of victory. I like being challenged, that's why I liked being Seb's teammate. He was 4 times champion of the world, he knew he was good, I knew it too, but he never backed down to a challenge.

Anna: I miss Seb. I think deep down we all miss him more than we let him see. Do you think that because of the challenges you and Max will perform better?

Charles: Max is coming for a season and a half without competition. He was winning with 15 seconds to the second place, and every time we fought wheel to wheel tha past season we talked after and it was such a thrill. Our driving style being so close makes it very possible for us to fight the way we like, so yeah, I think the pressure to perform well and the challenge to win Max will make me a better driver.

Anna: Do you have any funny story to tell us about?

Charles: I have one about you and Max. Fun fact, untill December last year Anna didn't knew how to drive. Max tried to teach her and I think that for the first time in his life he failed miserable. I remember trying to teach you how to drive and failing as well. But there's one day that is very clear in my mind. We just got back from Interlagos 2022 and we went to a small city in Sao Paulo so I could teach you and the car kept dying, so you stormed out of the car and called Seb crying, and you were crying so hard that I almost started to cry as well. We went back to Monaco, a few weeks latter Seb pulled out in front ou your house, Jenson Button as his co-pilot and they take the matters in their own hands and for a week you went out for like 5 hours and once that week was over you were a better driver than I am.

Anna: Well, asking you to teach me how to drive was a amateur mistake, you don't know how to park parallel. But yeah, Seb and JB they were excellent teachers. Thank you Seb. Thank you JB.

Charles: How did you have a drivers license if you didn't know how to drive?

Anna: Having a drivers license doesn't imply that I know how to drive, just that I've learned what to do to pass my drivers test. How do you drive a F1 car and doesn't know how to drive a manual?

Charles: I'm re learning, ok? You are the one with the eccentric taste for manual cars.

Anna: Obviously, it took me ages to learn how to reduce a gear, why would I drive an automatic if the automatic doesn't have to switch gears?

Charles: You have a point. And yet you are doing great on the automatics.

Anna: Let's move to my least favorite subject ever, personal life, people are wondering, is Charles Leclerc on the market?

Charles: *laughs* No, he is not. I'm very much out of the market, and very much in love with a beautiful and strong and smart woman and even though she's not the jealous type I not looking anywhere else.

Anna: Walk us through on how you two meet?

Charles: Yeah, it is very funny actually, we meet after Austria, 2022 but we only started to hangout after Monza last year, she's very into motorsport and formula one and a very private person, so please, let's respect that.

Anna: People on twitter are thinking that she is a ghost because we never saw her on race weekends, I'm inclined to agree with them, Charlie.

Charles: That's mean. And you have seen her on the paddock, a lot actually.

Anna: Some day, I'll be living in a big old city and all you ever gonna be is mean. God, I love Taylor Swift. But yeah, I saw her once ir twice, very nice girl, and pretty, very pretty as well.

Charles: Stop talking about yourself on third person, baby, is very weird.

Anna: Yeah, Charles, go ahead and tell the whole world our most deep secrets.

Charles: Anna... Lando and Pierre already told half of the grid and half of the grid is just pretending they don't know. We are not that subtle.

Anna: Well, okay, cat is out of the jail everyone, Charles is not single anymore, and it's not gonna be for a while. But let's go for the important topic: Taylor Swift.

Charles: Just that? Taylor Swift? What do you want me to say? *laughs*

Anna: Tell the people your favorite album and tracks. I already know them but that's my privilege.

Charles: Reputation, obviously. I like Our Song and Karma. You drive listening to them so I kinda like them too, and Champagne Problems... wow, that one hit hard and also Lover, because I am in love and ok, I like everything.

Anna: Okay, moving forward. Answer with the first thing on your mind. Favorite ice cream flavor?

Charles: Vanilla. Don't you ever think about cracking the joke I know you're thinking.

Anna: Ok. I wont. Favorite track?

Charles: Monaco. But I love Baku as well.

Anna: Interlagos?

Charles: Senna. I love Interlagos because it brings me closer to him as I could never.

Anna: Favorite movie?

Charles: The one with weddings and funerals.

Anna: Would you go out with me after we finish this one?

Charles: That depends, will you go out with me after we finish this one?

Anna: So guys that's it. Hope you have enjoyed this episode as much as we did while recording it. I think this one will be out way sooner than we expect. See you in a couple of weeks to go through the first 4 races of the season. Thank you, Charlie.

Charles: Thank you. See you guys.

*cut*

Anna: Stop tickling me or I'll call Max and asks him to blow all your medium tyres.

Charles: You could never.

Anna: Yes, I would.

Charles: Let's go, baby, I'll take you to dinner and after we can go karting with the boys.

Anna: Max is texting me so I can tell you to answer him.

Charles: Oh difficult life, my teammate likes me more than I think he would.

Anna: Don't tease him, he's lonely, he needs a girlfriend, how about we introduce him to Gia?

Charles: *hysterically laughing* Gia would crash him like a bug. Let's do it.

allaboutracing

liked by f1, maxverstappen, charles_leclerc, redbullracing, pierregasly and 324.177 others

allaboutracing and we are back!! welcome to season 3 of all about racing podcast, this season we're about to have a few special guest, we're gonna talk about all formula one related, analyze the cars, the races and the track - while i conciliate the races and the tracks on my full time job, i hope you enjoy this season as much as i did.

redbullracing full time race engineer and podcaster, well done mini.

maxverstappen1 im still waiting for my invitation

sebastianvettel well done, kid!

f1 adm is already on play with the firts episode

leclercsainz i love how she just went on and did a full podcast just for us to understand more about racing

jbuttonwdc i would love to see jenson button on the podcast

roscoeloveslewis remember when last season she said that she wanted to bring the champs for the podcast?

charles_leclerc im hoping to be on the couch as well

february 1st 2024

allaboutracing

liked by jensonbutton, sebastianvettel, lewishamilton, f1, charles_leclerc and 344.754 others

allaboutracing we are officially back. the first guests of season 3 are no more than the 2009 world champion jenson button and the 4 time champion of the world sebastian vettel. it was amazing to speak with booth of them, about racing, retirement, life and the changes that are happening in formula one. jb episode will be available on march, the 7th and seb will be available on march, 21th. hope you enjoy it.

lewishamilton great guy and than there's jenson.

sebastianvettel thank you for having me!

jensonbutton same time next week?

f1 that what we asked for

jbuttonwdc KA8SJSUQUWHAUAUHQGU IM NOT OKAY

beesebs i miss sebastian vettel more than i miss my parents and i moved away in 2017

alonsoxswift everybody moved on and i stayed here

sv5ismydad i cannot believe that she convinced seb to be on the podcast, anna youre my personal hero

february 16th 2024

picsbyanna

liked by charles_leclerc, maxverstappen1, redbullracind and 175.234 others

annazadra break is over, time to go back in track. insanely anxious to this season and very excited about the car that me, myself and i helped to build

maxverstappen1 lets hope you didnt put a shitty box with 3 weels after the little prank i pulled you

charles_leclerc lets go vroom vroom

redbullracing christian is calling you about something like "prank war"

danielricciardo i left redbull and now suddenly they have funny engineers again

comments on this post have been restricted

february 28th 2024

allaboutracing

liked by charles_leclerc, pierregasly, scuderiaferrari, maxverstappen1 and 544.766 others

allaboutracing I've listening to you guys and i brought the monegasque favorite driver to the podcast. on the next episode we will talk about charles moving to redbull, what he expects of the team and the car, how he thinks his partnership will works with max, about racing on a general but we also want to know what you want on the podcast, so send you questions, se ya next week.

maxverstappen1 how can charles be on the podcast and im not?

allaboutracing max, you are so dramatic, you and the entire team have been on the podcast so far in season one

maxverstappen1 i want to go again

danielricciardo thing you can say during sex as well

maxverstappen1 this girl is taken, stop that

charles_leclerc it was a pleasure to talk to you, you were a wonderful host.

f1 next week? please, don't do this to us 🥲

march 3th 2024

redbullracing

liked by charles_leclerc, maxverstappen1, allaboutracing, picsbyanna, lewishamilton and 877.265 others

redbullracing charles grabbed his first win with the team at the jeddah grand prix, well done charlie, we're insanely proud of you! ps: the all about racing: inside of charles leclerc mentality is out earlier to celebrate his victory, go listen to it.

picsbyanna wow, is he single?

march 10th 2024

#formula 1 #charles leclerc #formula one imagine #formula one #f1 imagine #ferrari #charles leclerc imagine #redbull era charlie #f1

[wanderlust-in-my-soul]

Currently Watching - August

aka The Masterlist

Because I love a good little list - in alphabetical order! 😊

Regularly updated during the month, latest update 31.08.2023

Here you can find my weekly roundup that goes into a bit more detail about each episode.

And a little link to my favorite bl-tropes-collection 💙

I am always happy about gif-requests. If you want a special scene, just let me know.

Here you can find all of my gifs.

And if you want to show me something you think I might like, just let me know with #josistag

At the end you can have a look at what we can expect in August with MDL link and a link for a trailer (if avaible).

This is guaranteed to contain spoilers!

1. Dangerous Romance (Ep 2/12 on Youtube)

I really liked the first episode. Well, I hated most of the parts, because of the whole bullying, but it feels like a really good enemies to lovers story and I am weak for this shit. There is way more bullying than I thought would be and it is really hard to watch at some points, but I love Sailom! He is such a clever badass!

2. Hidden Agenda (8/12 on Youtube)

Okay, I can smile a little bit watching this. Both of them have a hidden agenda and I kind of like Joke and his attempts to make Zo fall for him. And I like that we already know that Joke likes Zo. That makes everything...I don't know...a little bit cuter. And after the third episode I was finally all catched up and I am invested now! I like this show!

3. I feel you linger in the air (2/12 on Gaga)

Okay, I wanted to wait to binge watch, but I couldn't resist to sneak into the first episode and now I am obsessed! This time travel drama looks just so good and I love all the interactions between Jom and Yai! I am here for the fluff, but I guess I stay for the angst...

4. Jun & Jun (7/8 on Viki)

An office drama about Lee Jun and Choi Jun, who were childhood friends and who meet again after being seperated for years. The one an intern and the other one the director. I like those combinations, so I am looking forward to it. And the flirting is strong in this one! Just learned that it is rated PG 16...that explains a lot!

5. King the Land (10/16 on Netflix, no bl)

You know the feeling, you wake up in the morning and you're craving some good korean romance drama? That happend to me one day and so I just thought to give this a shot and it is good. Cheon Sa Rang works as a concierge at the King Of The Land Hotel and there she always has to wear a smile, fake or real doesn't matter. She meets the new boss in town Gu Won, who just can't stand fake smiles, but I guess her beautiful and real smile will make him fall head over heals.

6. Kiseki: Dear to me (3/13 on Viki)

The start is quite promising. I am looking forward to see more of the second couple. But for now I am pretty satisfied with this series, the plot and the characters.

7. Love Class Season 2 (6/10 on Viki)

I just wanted to watch one episode and see if I like it and now I am invested! This looks as this could be a really interesting story. I like the acting and the dialogues. I am curious how every story will progress. And yes, the epsiodes are way too short!

8. Minato Shouji Coin Laundry Season 2 (9/12 on Gaga)

Minato and Shin are dating for three month now and it feels like we are back at the beginning of the first season. Minato is always surprised when Shin wants to exchange some affection or when he just wants to know if Minato likes him. And to be honest, if I was in his place, I would ask too, because right now it doesn't feel like Minato likes Shin. But with the second episode we finally get some of Minato's thoughts and it is cute and sad at the same time. The second episode totally got me and I am excited what there is to come!

9. Only Friends (3/10 on Youtube)

I have the deep urge to call it Only Fans... Can't see the difference. It is cringy... and funny... and yes, very hot. It was a wild start that just promise a wild ride! The most surprising thing for me: the plot wasn't that bad.

10. Stay Still (1/5 on Youtube)

Well this first episode was a little bit confusing. It felt like you've been thrown into the middle of the story. Perhaps I should watch episode 0, but why not make it the first episode? So Damien and Hayden start a new, complicated relationship and Archie and Kelvin restart their high school love. I like the flashbacks. Archie and Kelvin were cute together.

11. Taikan Yoho / My Personal Weatherman (2/8 on Viki and Gaga)

This has a very interesting vibe. Yoh is a manga-artist. Because his work is not that popular, he accepted a deal by his senior in college, now a well known weatherman. Yoh accepted to be Mizuki's slave. He does everything at home and obeys to the weatherman's wishes. And everytime there is a sunny forecast, they sleep together.

12. Wedding Plan (7/8 on iQiyi)

I knew I am going to have a problem as soon as I finished the trailer. And here I am...totally obsessed with this show! And we are on episode 1! Well, what happens when the Wedding Planner and the groom fall for each other? I don't know either, but I can't wait to find out!

13. Why R U (4/8 on Viki)

The korean version of the thai series Why R U that is so different than the original one. And I really like it! The characters are fun, the story is, well, not that special, but I like it, and over all I like the vibe of this one.

Finished in August

Series

1. Sing My Crush (8/8 on iQiyi)

Han Baram wants to quit making music after confessing to his first love and he got rejected. But he meets Im Hantae, who manage to befriend him and push him back on his way. The story skips a few years and lfe becomes complicated with plagiarism and a second wind. Such a beautiful story! I loved every minute of it! I love stories about arts like books, writing, dancing and of course music! And this is really good! A wholesome 10 out of 10 for me!

2. His Man Season 2 (14/14 on Gaga)

The korean dating show for gay people! I loved the first season and the second was so much better. There was so much drama, but also so many wholesome moments and discussions. And yes, I was and am a fan of the roommates! I loved how their relationship developed and the fact that those two are still dating is just 🥰 And thank you @leonpob for our weekly discussions about the show! I am looking forward to the third season 🥰 This is a 10 out of 10 for me.

3. Shigatsu no Tokyo wa... (8/8 on Gaga or Viki)

Kazuma and Ren were close friends during middle school and now meet again years later after their ways parted. This was a turbulent ride for us, but it was so good. I like the darker tones this bl had and how close it was to the original webtoon. This bl made me sad and happy and the ending was just so wholesome. It deals with some difficult topics, so watch with caution. But for me this is a 10 out of 10.

4. Be My Favorite (11/12 on Youtube)

When Kawi tries to travel back in time to change his life, it doesn't necessarily go in the direction he had in mind. But this series is so much more than just a time travel story. Kawi is like our inner voice of insecurities and inadequacies. And it is like healing a little bit watching him gaining a little bit more self confidence and self love. And the same goes for Pisaeng. His journey in self-acceptence and starting to live the life he wants and deserves is just so beautiful. This series just screams in your face to live the life you truly want like you would never want to travel back in time and change a decision. And that is such a strong message! And I love all the characters and their decisions and the growth all of them were going through. And I love that it is shown that we can't help everyone, because some things can't be changed. But we can try to be the best support, the best friend, the best child and also the best parent we can be. For me one of the easiest 10 out of 10!

5. Stay with me (22/24 on Gaga)

Okay, I was sceptical at first. This new adaptation of Addicted came out of nowhere for me. I really like the original adaptation, despite its flaws and toxic traits. But Stay With Me managed to be such a great show! I am lost for words at this point! The characters are all so well written, the story is so good and the actors really remind me of stubborn highschool students which is quite nice. The chemistry is off the roofs! It has an open ending, but more because the second season is confirmed and I can't wait! The dance the show had with the chinese censorship was beautiful! This is really not a bromance, it is a bl and I love it so much! One of the best watches this year! Yeah, this is a total 10 out of 10 for me.

Movie

1. Red, White and Royal Blue (on Prime)

I haven't read the book, yet. It sits on my Pile of Shame and wants to be read someday. The movie was... wobbly and rushed. Alex and Henry were cute together, later in the movie. In the beginning of their relationship, they were most of the times horny. But I liked them together. And at the same time it felt a little bit bland. I don't know how to express it... the chemistry lacked of emotional connection for me. There was not really character in the characters. They felt a little empty. So I will read the book soon, to get the emotional impact of everything going on. Don't get me wrong, I liked the movie. I had fun and was well entertained and the love story was cute. A 7,5 out of 10 for me.

Short Film

Rewatched in August

Dropped/On-Hold in August

1. See you in my 19th life (7/12 on Netflix, no bl)

It was so good when I started it, but I couldn't keep up with it and so I lost interest over time. I guess it would be different if I binge watched it. I know I won't come back here soon, so I just dropp it for now.

2. Low Frequency (3/8 on iQiyi)

Well, I really don't have the urge to watch this anymore. Perhaps I will come back to it, when it is finished airing, but right now...no thanks. The story is interesting, but I think it is a little bit to exhausting for me right now.

3. Dinosaur Love (8/10 on iQiyi)

Well this was a dumpster fire. It was fun to watch in the beginning, but after a few episodes it wasn't funny anymore. It was exhausting and nothing I was looking for in my weekly schedule. So, the conclusion was I dropp it. And I am fine with not knowing how it ended...

Looking forward to in August

Stay Still - Trailer (August 1st on Youtube)

Sing My Crush - Trailer (August 2nd on iQiyi)

Heartstopper Season 2 - Trailer (August 3rd on Netflix)

Taikan Yoho (My Personal Weatherman) - Trailer (August 11th on Gaga)

Love Class Season 2 - Trailer (August 11th on Viki)

Red, White & Royal Blue - Trailer (August 11th on Prime Video)

Only Friends - Trailer (August 12th on Youtube)

Dangerous Romance - Trailer (August 18th)

Love in Translation - Teaser (August 19th)

My Universe - Trailer (August 20th on iQiyi)

Kiseki: Dear to Me - Trailer (August 22nd on iQiyi and Viki)

Why R U? Korean Remake - Trailer (August 24th on iQiyi)

Man Suang - Trailer (August 24th in Thai Cinemas)

I Feel You Linger In The Air - Treaser - Pilot - Trailer (August 19th on Gaga)

Crazy Handsome Rich - Trailer (August 28th on Gaga)

#currently watching #monthly overview #masterlist #josi watching bl #bl series #bl drama #be my favorite #be my favorite the series #dinosaur love #hidden agenda #his man 2 #jun & jun #king the land #low frequency #minato shouji coin laundry 2 #shigatsu no tokyo wa... #stay with me the series #wedding plan #stay still #sing my crush #my personal weatherman #only friends the series #love class season 2 #red white and royal blue #kiseki: dear to me #why r u korea #i feel you linger in the air

[sometimes-men-need-help-too]

Yorkshire husband opens up about 20 years of violence and abuse at the hands of sadistic wife

This was posted on March 12th 

A Yorkshire husband who endured two decades of violence and abuse in one of 'the worst case of controlling and coercive behaviour' a judge had ever seen at the hands of his sadistic wife has opened up about his life with her in a harrowing interview.

During Richard Spencer's wife Sheree Spencer's shocking campaign of violence and intimidation she spat in his face and hit him with whatever was at hand — using a bottle, a mobile phone or a TV remote control.

He told Mail Online how on one occasion she defecated on the floor and then forced him to clear it up, while during another attack she beat him with a wine bottle so hard it permanently disfigured his ear. During the two decades long ordeal he was subjected to daily beatings and verbal attacks that left him cowering on the floor in the foetal position.

However, after an old friend of Richard's finally intervened, the 46-year-old shared videos of abuse which were captured on a security camera in the children's playroom with police and she was was charged and issued with a retraining order.

Richard handed police a total of 36 videos, nine audio recordings and 43 photographs of the abuse. She was jailed for four years at Hull Crown Court last week after admitting coercive and controlling behaviour and three counts of assault occasioning actual bodily harm.

He described how as, as the mother of his three daughters was sentenced he just focused 'on a spot on a piece of furniture' to get through it.

"I felt absolutely nothing the few times I glanced across at Sheree," said Richard. "I didn't feel anger. I didn't feel scared. I didn't have any emotion. But I was hyper-conscious of how my family was reacting when the judge described the horrific things she'd done.

'To hear the judge use the same language Sheree used — the f-word and the c-word — the things she called me like 'bitch'. 'When I think about those memories I don't feel associated to them. It's like they happened to someone else. I know it was me but in my mind I can't understand how I could have allowed that to happen.'

Richard, a network designer for BT, had videos showing Sheree, formerly a senior manager at the Ministry of Justice, threatening him with a knife, dragging him to the floor, then kicking and punching him while yelling 'get the f***ing chicken on! Get to the f***ing shop. 'You will learn,' as he cowers, pleading with her to stop.

When officers from Humberside police interviewed him at the family's seven-bedroom home in a village near York in June 2021 the investigating officer was so disturbed by what she heard she had to leave the room.

He said: "When the things that have happened to me upset someone else I feel guilty. I just feel that no normal person would have let that happen. I want as many people to read about my thoughts and feelings and think, 'that sounds like me or that sounds like my partner' because this was so incremental."

He described the first couple of years of his relationship with Sheree as '95 per cent nice times and 5 per cent not nice times'. "It evolved. By the time she was punching me so I was having to wear make-up to hide the bruises, the abuse had become the norm," he said.

"I felt I deserved to be punished. I lost my independence and willpower and just accepted that was how my life was going to be. In the end she controlled everything from which room I could sleep in to which toilet I could use. I was no longer me."

The violence began a few months into their relationship at his flat in Ipswich and the arguments would start when she had been drinking. "They could be about anything," said Richard.

"Normally something I'd done or not done. In the early stages it was pushing me, breaking things and slapping me. The next day she'd be extremely apologetic and say she wouldn't let it happen again. She'd write little notes saying she loved me. I'd apologise too because although I wouldn't have been the one shouting, I'd feel I played a role in the argument.

"Sheree would explain her behaviour by saying, 'If you hadn't done that, then I wouldn't have done this.' You'd think, 'OK, I can see why she's saying that.'

"I've got quite a lot of blank periods in my mind. I felt like I was in love with her probably for years and I thought she was with me but looking back now I don't think I'd call it love any more."

After she had affair with a friend of Richard's in January 2007 he forgave her because 'it was my fault for working long hours and neglecting her'.

"I had an internet business I worked on in the evening because I wanted us to be financially secure," he added. "She said I had also been disloyal by putting my family before her because I'd gone alone to a party at my auntie's, that she didn't want to go to, on the night the affair began. She said I deserved it — how could I have thought she was right?"

Following her affair, Richard's relationship with his family, whom Sheree said 'judged' her, became more and more distant and he saw friends less and less.

He said: "I have found lots of emails from Sheree telling me how much she loves me and that I am her soulmate. So I think the period after the affair and deciding to make a go of things must have been a nice, calm time leading up to our marriage."

They married on December 2009 at a luxury beachfront hotel in Thailand's Phi Phi Islands without a single friend or family member present.

"It wasn't the best of days," said Richard. "Sheree got drunk and angry with the people who came to do her hair and told them to get out. I made an excuse in my mind that she was being like that because of the pressure of the day. I even said to her, 'everyone has butterflies'.

Their eldest child was finally conceived in 2015 and Richard fell in love with his daughter, however ever things deteriorated again. Richard said: "She started really attacking me a year after we moved when our daughter was about 14 months.

"It would go on over a period of hours. She'd attack me and then sit back down. I'd try to placate her, then she'd get back up and start hitting and punching me again. Eventually she'd go to sleep on the playroom floor because she'd been drinking.

'When she got angry one of the ways she used to hurt me was smashing my laptop on the floor. Once she picked one up and put it straight in the washing-up water. I probably got through five or six laptops, so I used to hide them.

"That was about the time when she began to threaten me about our daughter. She said she was going to smash her face in the mirror and cut it then call the police and say I'd done it so I wouldn't be able to see her.

"So I started gathering the recordings from the camera in the playroom and take photographs of my injuries because I thought I needed to protect myself.

"Still in my mind, I wanted us to be together. I really loved the family unit. We had one embryo left. Sheree didn't want our daughter to be an only child. I rationalised in my mind, 'If we have another baby we'll get through this.' It's crazy, isn't it?"

Their middle daughter was conceived during the first cycle of IVF and within four months of her birth Sheree was pregnant again with a child they had conceived naturally.

Richard said: "Sheree had always wanted three children and once she was born that's when what I now know they call 'the discard phase' began. She wanted the house, wanted the kids and wanted me to pay maintenance. She'd whisper in my ear, 'You'll never win. Watch this.'

Sheree would then open the bedroom window and shout, 'Richard stop it. You're hurting me. Don't hit me,' and shut the window, saying 'I told you you'll never beat me. I'm much cleverer than you'.

As the the violence and drinking escalated Sheree would lie on the sofa drinking as much as three bottles of wine a day and slap Richard awake in the middle of the night to make him drive to the garage to get more.

he said: "At night when I was alone in bed either in pain after being beaten with a bottle or completely demoralised I'd imagine a switch on the wall and that it could end all the pain and the feeling of hopelessness. I'd visualise getting out of bed, pressing the switch and the darkness turning into pure light. Nothing else would exist, just the bright warm light and I would be absorbed into it.

"I felt guilty I'd become estranged from my family and thought it might be easier for them if I wasn't here. Then I thought about the sadness they would feel if I was gone and how it would affect my children - so I knew I'd never get out of bed and press that switch no matter how bad things got."

It all finally came to a head when Tony, an old friend of Richard's who worked as a military policeman intervened and reported Sheree to the police.

Tony had gone to the family's home following a drunken phone call from Sheree who had called to say that she was being abused. When he arrived Richard finally confessed the truth, sharing the video footage and images of his injuries.

Sheree was arrested later that night - their eldest daughter, woken by the noise, wandered downstairs and saw the police.

Richard said: "I took her to the spare room and sat with her while Sheree got some clothes. My daughter was stood at the window and could see her mum being put in the police van.

"When the police came back that night to take a statement I made excuses for Sheree.

"They were so empathetic. All the fears I'd had about not being believed disappeared but I'd spent half of my lifetime trying to rationalise her behaviour. It was natural for me to defend her, even to the police."

The following day two officers and a social worker told Richard that Sheree was being charged - however he was stunned when he was told of her reaction to a video the police showed her when she threatened Richard with a knife.

He said: "They told me they'd played her a video - first without sound - of her telling me she was going to burst my car tyres because I'd looked at her in a certain way. She'd gone outside, cut the tyre and came back holding the knife which she held against my neck.

"She watched it and said, 'OK, so what's happened is I've got a knife because I've been telling him I want a divorce and that he may as well kill me if he won't give me one. I'm trying to hand him the knife because I can't take it any more'.

"They then played the video with the sound and asked her, 'Have you got anything to say?' She just shrugged and said, 'there's not much I can say, is there?'

"I thought when she saw the video she wouldn't believe she was capable of that and would get very upset. But the police said she never showed any emotion. I knew then her whole life was a tapestry of lies."

Richard knows it will take many year for his mental scars to heal but is focused on giving his daughters a stable upbringing before their mother is released from prison. He said: "I've been struggling because everyone has been so kind it's overwhelming.

"There was no kindness with Sheree. I can still hear the girls crying and want to show them life shouldn't be like that. They're flourishing in a safe, secure home. It's what they deserve."

https://www.examinerlive.co.uk/news/local-news/yorkshire-husband-opens-up-20-26452420

So originally, I saw a video about this and of course I have some comments to show y’all 

I have to wonder what she would say if this was about a woman who was being abused by another woman. 

Here’s the thing, a lot of people underestimate the damage a woman can inflict. She doesn’t necessarily have to be stronger than him. You can catch people by surprise, you can hit a delicate spot (and I’m not just talking about the private area),etc.  Plus, he likely couldn’t just defend himself because it could have been spun around and he would have been ‘the abuser.’ 

The comment is just so disgusting and unnecessary. It’s very ironic when you read the last sentence about how the hardest thing to do is to walk away....and before that she’s just blaming him 

I wish people would stop asking victims that question 

It isn’t easy by any means to just leave. I know a lot of people would like to think they wouldn’t put up with it, that they would pack their bags and leave (or just breakup if you weren’t living together) at the first sign of abuse--but it’s just not as simple as that for everyone 

Some people are still in denial that they’re being abused. They just might not see it. They might be getting told it’s their own fault anyway (if you wouldn’t do this, I wouldn’t do that). Some are embarrassed that they're in the situation in the first place. Some don’t have anywhere to go, no real friends or family they can count on to help them. They might not have access to resources that would help them. They might be manipulated by their abuser into thinking that no one would believe them, that they’re never going to find anyone that loves them like they do. They might be threatened into not leaving. There might be kids in the mix which makes it a lot tougher than if it was just the one person. 

Those comments, those are just a couple of the multiple ones just like it. And I know it’s not really exclusive to men only, people are asking women the same question. 

A lot of those people think they know exactly what they would do until they’re in the situation themselves 

#mens rights #double standards #male victims #male victims of abuse

[ere-na]

It's been so interesting to see everyone's takes on Everybody's Waiting. So here's a bit personal post to add from myself too. (tw: personal post, panic attacks)

I have friends who struggle from ADHD or depression, or both, or something else. I've also been lucky not to suffer from serious mental issues and could manage myself quite well. But then, when I was living and working abroad, Covid hit and I got stuck in a single apartment, in a foreign country tiny town, working from home, with no way to travel to meet loved ones. There was a period of 5 months when the only living person I saw was a cashier at my nearby supermarket once a week. And although I'm fine by myself, it came to a point where it didn't matter if I shower or if I eat, because no one sees me anyway. I started having panic attacts so heavy that I was convinced I'm dying from a heart attack. Every single evening. Despite literally nothing happening in my life. I'm very nervous about disturbing someone, so I never called for ambulance, especially during peak covid period. Because others have it worse, right? I guess I just hoped that I'm not dead by the morning... I told this in messages to my friend and she got me her therapist's contact. Told to check with her before going to a hospital. The therapist said immediately that yep, that's what it is - panic attacks with a side dish of other related issues. Then I had therapy sessions every few days until finally after another 4 months I was feeling a bit better and could manage my still daily panic attacks. I had to do therapy for almost two years to actually feel better.

Now everything is okay and I haven't had panic attacks in a while. I'm not scared of them either. So Bojan's experience is very personal to me because sometimes it doesn't matter why, the ground slips from under your feet and there's only you and your flawed mind to make sense of what's happening. It also leaves a scar - even if it's healed, it's always there in the background - an event that had happened.

This experience also changed my character by 180 degees. The things that were important before, like making career, achieving goals, experiencing life, listening to others,- nothing really mattered anymore. I've stopped caring about so much, but also learned to take time to appreciate small things and everyday moments. I moved back home, changed my work, reconnected to people I missed (and distanced from people who made me feel worse), and just... enjoy what I have.

So yeah, I love JO and Everybody's Waiting immensily for voicing these experiences. Because when I first got those attacks almost 5 years ago, I had no clue what had hit me. Maybe if I had JO with me, I would have known much earlier. But I know they're there for the listeners who need them now

#everybody's waiting #personal #tw panic attacks

[purplehairedwonder]

2022 Fic Recap

While I didn’t write as many words in 2022 as in 2021, I had some accomplishments that I’m proud of. First, I finished my tentpole fic, “Lead Me Back to Suffering.” I also wrote quite a few one-shots, participated in several events, and joined a couple of zines (though those fics didn’t make it onto my 2022 recap since they won’t appear until 2023). 

Overall, I wrote 95K+ words in 2022. Here is my year in writing review:

One-Shots

“Underneath the Shadow (of Mistakes I’ve Made)” (Gen | PG-13 | 4,307 words): The Heart Pirates are ambushed during a resupply run, and their captors use them as bait for their captain—the newest Warlord, Trafalgar Law.

“Misery Weightless as a Stone” (Dubcon DofLaw | Explicit | 4,100 words): Three months after Shachi lost his arm in the Colosseum, Doflamingo took Law to his bed for the first time. 

A "Hearts With(out) Chains" missing scene.

“Among Our Enemies” (Gen | PG-13 | 5,658 words): In the city of Dressrosa, med student Trafalgar Law runs an underground clinic for the down and out. Monkey D. Luffy leads a group of self-styled vigilantes called the Straw Hats. Eustass Kid studies mechanical engineering by day and leads a biker gang by night. Their paths cross when a new drug called Smile hits the streets. Shenanigans ensue.

“Consequences” (Gen | PG-13 | 2,165 words): The night before Luffy and Law face Doflamingo, Luffy grapples with the sacrifices Law has made to protect his nakama from Doflamingo after saving him at Marineford. 

A "Hearts With(out) Chains" missing scene.

“Coming Home (To Breathe Again, To Start Again)” (Lawlu | PG | 2,010 words): Law had a… complicated relationship with the concept of home.But here on the beach of Wano with Luffy looking at him with such fondness that Law wanted to squirm, he thought that maybe home could be another person.

“Floriography” (Gen | PG | 4,095 words): Five times Rosinante taught Law to communicate through the language of flowers, and one where Law turned the lesson on Rosinante.:

“Your Needs Answered” (Pre-Relationship Lawlu | PG | 2,276 words) To be fair, Law supposed, he had been warned. 

For Luffy, an alliance meant friendship. And for Luffy, friendship meant everything. Once Luffy, in his idiotic wisdom, had decided someone was his friend, he would do anything for them. He had taken one look at Law’s plans, thrown them away, and somehow still gotten to the core of what Law had wanted all along. 

Written for LawLu Week 2022. Day 1 Prompt: Alliance

“I Want Your Laughter (Like The Flower I Was Waiting For)” (Lawlu | PG-13 | 3,213 words): Luffy notices Law doesn't smile or laugh much and decides to do something about it—and falls in love along the way.

Written for LawLu Week 2022. Day 2 Prompt: Laughter

“Memoriam” (Lawlu | PG | 1,250 words): “You do,” Luffy said after a quiet moment.

Torao blinked. “What?”

“Have something of Cora-san’s,” Luffy clarified. Torao frowned and opened his mouth to argue, but Luffy slipped his hand into Torao’s and pressed their linked hands to Torao’s bandaged chest. “Right here. His memory. His love.”

Written for LawLu Week 2022. Day 3 Prompt: Thank you

“Your Worth (More Than You Know)” (Lawlu | PG-13 | 2,720 words): When Law is taken prisoner by Hawkins, Drake doesn’t set Law free, leaving the Heart captain to be tortured. After Luffy gets out of Udon, he learns the truth and mounts a rescue.

Written for LawLu Week 2022. Day 4 Prompt: Injured

“Always See the Daylight” (Lawlu | PG | 2,391 words): “Why did you want to see my room?” Law asked, both curious and a bit apprehensive at what the response might be.

“Because it’s yours!” Luffy said immediately, sitting up quickly. Luffy looked as though the answer had been obvious.

For Law, however, that explained exactly nothing. “What—”

Luffy looked around, his expression softening in a way that made Law fidgety. “It’s very Torao,” he decided.

Written for LawLu Week 2022. Day 5 Prompt: Captain's quarters

“No Stranger to Crazy” (Lawlu | PG | 4,069 words): The Straw Hats arrive on an island to discover not only that the Hearts are already there, but there is also a winter festival happening. Law doesn’t have the best memories with winter islands or festivals, so Luffy is determined to make some good ones with him.

Multi-Chapter (Completed)

“Lead Me Back to Suffering” (Noncon Doflaw, Lawlu | R | 19/19 | 30,532 words written in 2022): In the wake of Kaido's fall, Law is kidnapped from the shores of Wano.

WIP

“Chained Hearts” (Eventual Dubcon Doflaw | PG-13 | 1/? | 3,910 words): When Law is 17, Doflamingo tracks him down in the North Blue and, threatening the lives of his crew, brings him back into the fold of the Donquixote Family. But the prodigal son's return is not an easy one, and allies are few and far between. 

Missing scenes from "Hearts With(out) Chains."

“Hearts With(out) Chains” (Dubcon Doflaw, Eventual Lawlu | PG-13 | 23/? | 10,586 words written in 2022):  Law is reclaimed by the Family when he's 17 and, with Doflamingo holding the lives of his crew as collateral for his good behavior, eventually becomes the third Corazon. Years later, trapped by his impossible situation, Law finds a strange connection to Monkey D. Luffy, which offers a glimpse of something he's repeatedly had ripped away from him: hope.

“(I Made My Mind) A Sunless Space” (Dubcon Doflaw, Eventual Lawlu | R | 4/? | 12,038 words): In another life, Minion Island goes a bit differently: a gravely wounded Corazon is recovered by the Marines while Law is taken back into the Family. Years later, Rosinante teams up with Monkey D. Luffy to rescue Law from the clutches of his brother and set him free for good.

#Trafalgar Law #Donquixote Doflamingo #Donquixote Rosinante #Monkey D. Luffy #Lawlu #One Piece #One Piece fic #One Piece fanfiction #Caitlin's fic #Caitlin writes

[blossom-hwa]

Hi! Happy (very-very late) anniversary!

I want to say that your writings are really amazing, and I appreciate your work a lot. Hopefully once I'm done with uni stuff I'll have time to catch up with your latest works.

If it's possible, I would like to request some university/college life with Hyunjin because he's my dreamed best friend

Have a nice day/evening/night! :)

hi, thanks so much for this request and your kind words! I hope you enjoy what I've written for this, and good luck with university!!

5 year anniversary drabble game: send me a Stray Kids/TXT/Golden Child/Ateez/The Boyz member + a prompt (check out the post for ideas) and I’ll write a drabble for you!!

REQUESTS CLOSED!!

~

Title: Momentary, Everlasting

Pairing: Hyunjin x gender neutral!reader

Word count: 973

Warnings: cursing

~

During his first year in university, Hyunjin learns a total of four things. 

One: The campus has a lake. A whole fucking lake. 

Two: People are forbidden from swimming in the lake. 

Three: This does not stop people from swimming in the lake. 

Four: If, by the end of your uni years, you have not sat with your friends at the lakeside at least once and talked about everything and nothing for several hours straight, you are a grade A loser. Bonus points if it was nighttime when you met up. 

In his first year, Hyunjin goes to the lake a few times, but it’s always superficial - to sketch the water for one of his art classes, to chat for a few minutes with a classmate before they head off to their other classes. It isn’t until his second year that he finds his group, seven friends who drive him insane with how loud they always are but whom he finds he loves anyway, a group that meets up at the lake any day, any time, and talks for hours at night until the sun has begun to rise. 

His sleep schedule takes a drastic turn for the worse that year, but though he complains, Hyunjin privately thinks it’ll be worth it.

And as it turns out, it is worth it. Because one evening by the lake, as they all gather to watch the sunset, someone calls out Chan’s name and Chan calls out their name and suddenly he’s waving them over and introducing them to the group, but most importantly, he’s introducing them to - 

“Y/N, this is Hyunjin,” Chan says, grinning. “Hyunjin, this Y/N, remember the friend I told you about that I wanted you to meet?”

He does remember. Y/N, music major, violin focused, plays in a trio with Jongho on the cello and Huening Kai on the piano. Chan had thought you two had compatible personalities, that you could be good friends. Hyunjin might be shy but he does trust Chan’s judgement when it comes to people, so he takes your outstretched hand and smiles back at your bright smile and doesn’t cringe at Chan’s offer for you to sit with them for a while. 

Chan’s judgement is good. Too good. Because by the end of that first night, despite the fact that Hyunjin considers himself quite reserved when it comes to meeting strangers, he has your number and you have his and you’re still laughing together when it’s time to part. 

Meetings by the lake with the others turn to study sessions in the library with those who like to study in quiet - Seungmin, Chan, Minho. Study sessions like these turn into getting coffee before class, just the two of you. Getting coffee turns into getting lunch, getting lunch turns into getting dinner, getting dinner turns into going back to each other’s dorms and talking until the sun rises - 

And that turns into a proper date, where you kiss Hyunjin for the first time. 

It’s not perfect, of course. For all your compatibility, you still argue, you still fight, and there’s a dangerous point towards the end of third year where you decide you need a break from each other. You spend a month away with only brief contact - a good morning, a good night, a happy birthday when March rolls around accompanied by a small box of his favorite chocolate. And when you meet up to talk again when the month has concluded, you find yourselves together again, stronger than ever before. 

Hyunjin treasures every moment with you no matter how fleeting. He draws some of them in his sketchbook, paints a few that deserve special remembrance. Sometimes he gets anxious about it - he wants to preserve every special moment he has with you, which is impossible when every moment with you feel special, but in time, he learns - 

Moments may be ephemeral, but the fact that you are here with him is everlasting.

The day after graduation, the night before you all need to move out of the dorms for the final time, you knock on Hyunjin’s door. “Let’s go see the lake,” you suggest, and what can he do but follow?

A nearly full moon shines in the sky when you reach the lakeside, shimmering on the dark water with a playful glimmer as you sit down on the cool grass, hand in hand. You open your mouth as though to say something, but after a moment, you close it and place your head on Hyunjin’s shoulder. 

For a while you just sit there in silence, breathing, seeing, living. Your breaths echo softly in Hyunjin’s ear when he places his head on top of yours, a gentle contrast to the sounds of partying in the distance, and for a moment Hyunjin wishes he had his sketchbook to draw the scene - the moon’s reflection on the lake, an expanse of dark grass and trees, you with your head on his shoulder, eyes closed, breathing in tandem. 

But moments are ephemeral, and while some can be preserved, others don’t need to be. Hyunjin sinks into the silence, feeling the weight of your comfort spread like a blanket over his shoulders. This is a moment to be cherished, to be lived. It doesn’t need to be drawn, not now. 

“This is nice,” he murmurs, looping an arm around your waist.

“Mm.” You let him pull you closer, snuggling into his side. “Kinda wish we could stay like this forever.”

Forever. Hyunjin smiles a little. “Forever’s nice,” he agrees, leaning into your touch when you start rubbing soft circles into his waist. “But I think what we have now is pretty good, too.”

Because even if moments are only ephemeral, Hyunjin knows that the love you share with each other is everlasting. 

#stray kids #skz #hyunjin #hwang hyunjin #stray kids hyunjin #skz hyunjin #stray kids hyunjin scenarios #stray kids scenarios #stray kids imagines #stray kids oneshots #skz scenarios #stray kids x reader #skz hyunjin scenarios #skz x reader #hyunjin x reader #hwang hyunjin x reader #stray kids hyunjin x reader #skz hyunjin x reader #drabble #fluff #university!au #cw cursing #momentary everlasting #5 year anniversary drabble game #lina answers #sophie-writingtime #blossom-hwa

[continuums]

your closure

I don’t believe we have to offer forgiveness to those who have deeply hurt us. I don’t think it’s a requirement for healing. What I do believe is that practicing forgiveness is less about being okay with everything and more about accepting everything. You can’t change what happened, but you can decide some of what happens next. That’s how forgiveness can help you show up from a new story.

-Lisa Olivera, Already Enough

I want my books back, but I don’t want to text you about it again. I deleted your number from my phone because that Feeld match I met up with a couple weeks after our terrible final date shares too many letters in common with yours (I put his full name in my phone the second I knew it to minimize the jump scares). The shape of your name still spells out pain, or whatever Swift said (I’ve listened to “closure” so many times). I know you’re waiting, convinced that you can just give them to me in-person when I change my mind and agree to be friends. I know that hypothetical conversation that you proposed would be about “closure” in our final phone call would actually be able me reassuring you that it is okay that you gaslit me for 5 months, manipulated me by promising me something you knew you could not deliver, and at best ignored my telling you how difficult it was for me to trust men and at worst exploited that. I have done so much emotional labor for you. I do not want to do any more. 

I want my copy of Maggie Nelson’s Something Bright, Then Holes back because it got me through a break-up with someone who I truly, deeply loved and was truly, deeply hurt by his leaving my life (he didn’t stay away long). I am not writing this to be hurtful or thinking it to self-soothe -- I am telling the truth when I say that none of the poems in it will be resonant here. Only the first 7 words of Phoebe Bridgers’ “Motion Sickness” apply, not the next 8. 

Accepting what happened means accepting that I was treated terribly by someone I had to talk myself into liking. I believed that you loved me and cared about me and wanted the best for me because you told me you did -- I do not bear any shame for that. The relationship felt so bad so much of the time, and I allowed myself to believe you when you said it was my own anxieties and neuroses and, sometimes, yours, too, which you were working so hard on addressing (while also complaining that each of your weeks was overstuffed and never going to therapy and getting high out of your ming any moment you weren’t working, which you did approximately 80 hours a week). I accept my own role in staying in this miserable relationship. I started to work out my own trauma within the relationship, convincing myself that if I could get you to give me the attention and care that I needed and that you said you wanted to give me (despite never making lasting changes toward that end), I would be worthy of those. I replayed past childhood and relationship trauma here instead of loving myself enough to say “I deserve better” and walking away. 

I accept what I have done. Do you?

(From my past entanglements with white men, I know the answer is often “no,” and so the more hopeful route for me is to not learn the answer. I don’t need your closure.) 

I accept, and I forgive myself for the role I played. I show up for a new story, one that says I deserve to be in relationships with people who fully understand, accept, and show up for me. 

5 days after the break-up, I took a wonderful woman who I’ve been seeing for a few months out for an early birthday dinner, where she gave me (who was not the birthday girl) the most thoughtful break-up care package. 

I thought about the evening after you made me cry in a bar on our last date, during one of the most emotionally trying times of my life, how I got home from a long walk and saw a flower arrangement on my doorstep and knew immediately it was not from you.

Almost 2 weeks after the break-up, I connected with someone on a dating app for a purely physical arrangement and remembered what it was like to have sex with someone who was fully present for the act and fully invested in my pleasure. 

I do not replay our sexual encounters ever because I can’t do so without having a bodily reaction remembering what I endured, remembering how I tried to fetishize it. I think about rewatching Girls to study Adam Driver’s character��s sexual proclivities to make myself feel less alone. 

He had to cancel a date a week later. I told him I’m not great at last-minute cancellations, and he sent me a long apology for not respecting my time in a difficult moment in my life. (Again, a casual dynamic)

I think of the time you cancelled a hook-up on me, and I got upset because I’d told you twice that I don’t like to be invited over and then have that invitation retracted. You called your ex to see if they agreed that my reaction was irrational. You told me that they thought it was an inappropriate reaction, that they would be fine with it. (This was a few weeks after you told me you loved me.)

I drink absinthe cocktails in a downtown basement of a speakeasy on a first date with a man who drove clear across LA to take me to the bar because he thought I’d love it. I do love it. I love the entire evening. I text my friends on the Uber home that I’d forgotten what it’s like to have a truly great first date with a man, that I usually consider them successes if he doesn’t talk the whole time and doesn’t seem like he would murder me. When I get home, he’s already planned a second date for us. 

I think of you choosing a bar you could walk to in 5 minutes for our first date. I think of how you tried to take us there for our reconciliatory cocktail after the “break” we went on, and how it was, strangely, closed. You told me you had picked it as a sort of symbol of a new beginning. The universe had other plans. 

[jjoelswatch]

Big ol' health rant under the cut.

I'm beyond frustrated with my care team and how hard I have to advocate for myself to get tests/labs done.

I've been not feeling well symptomatically for over a year, and been dealing with lack of appetite issues for about three years. Started with right side stomach pain last August that led to potential gallbladder issue concerns. I had every test under the sun to rule it out (abdominal ultrasound, upper scope, HIDA scan, stool sample) and everything came back okay aside from some inflammation (no H. Pylori, no celiac, no gallstones, no ulcers-- gallbladder, liver, pancreas, etc function all normal). So it was just like "well okay, I guess nothing's wrong with me except that my right abdomen hurts from time to time" and I tried to move on with my life.

I started having strange neurological symptoms back in March of this year (tingling/numb sensation in my face, strange senses of touch in parts of my face-- like parts of my face felt like a balloon). I've always suffered from ocular migraines with aura and no pain (and flashes of light/visual snow), so I thought it was just fun new migraine symptoms. They went away for a few months then came back in full force with even more fun symptoms (tingling in my hands and feet, lack of sensation in my right leg but not total numbness, a gradual increase in forgetfulness/short term memory issues that are SO not the norm for me, middle back pain??), so I scheduled an appointment with a neurologist and went to my shitty CNP "doctor" (disclaimer, CNPs are not doctors despite how the American healthcare system treats them like doctors) and basically pleaded with her to run bloodwork on me and to try to do anything to get me into for brain scans or something. Because weird neurological symptoms are super scary and it's hard not to assume the worst when you're experiencing them fairly suddenly.

She ran my bloodwork and found that my B12 levels were really low. I learned that B12 can cause literally all my symptoms, so I was relieved and they put me on 4 weeks of weekly B12 injections, with the plan to start monthly injections afterwards. She also told me they were going to test my bloodwork for folate levels and talk to one of the doctors in the practice to get to the bottom of what's causing my deficiency since I wasn't anemic or vegan/vegetarian. I felt...hopeful? and like we were headed down the right path.

Well, the office failed to click "submit" to order my blood to be tested for folate. So my CNP couldn't work with the other doctor to try to puzzle out what's wrong with me.

I was feeling pretty good during those 4 weeks of injections. My memory was sharper and my symptoms were gradually reducing (there is apparently something called "nerve wake up" when dealing with neuro issues from B12D, which can still cause symptoms to show). I knew that recovery would be gradual, as it can take 6 months to a year to really recover from neuro damage/issues from B12D, so I tried to stay positive. But a week and a half out from my last weekly shot, my symptoms returned with a vengeance.

Now my symptoms are a right leg that wants to cramp up from hamstring to calf, a left toe that just...twitches of its own accord, other random muscle twitches/tenseness, and (possibly unrelated?) increased acid reflux issues. My neuro appointment isn't until the first week of October (because the US sucks and it literally takes 5-6 months to see specialists at the bare minimum), so I messaged my doctor in a bit of a panic with some questions about my symptoms and asking if we could more aggressively treat the deficiency, because like...I'm concerned about perma nerve damage at this point?? And she tells me she's going to refer me to a neurologist without answering any of my other questions or trying to see me any eariler.... If she'd looked at my file or remembered our last conversation, she would know that I already have a appointment with one.

I caved and did several things. I tried to switch to the other doctor in the office she said she was going to work with to get to the bottom of my issues, because...why not go straight to the source? That failed, as the practice "doesn't do that, as a rule" which like...okay? Desperate for relief, I started sublingual supplements of B12 (fucked up at first at did the methyl version which just didn't agree with my body and switched to the same form as my shots were). I started seeing some relief in my symptoms, including my muscle tension in my leg (which was previously causing me to have trouble walking) and some of my muscle twitching.

I also called the neurologist's office like, "listen I know you guys haven't seen me yet, but can you order some scans to give me some peace of mind?" and they finally agreed to send me in for a cervical spine MRI and an EMG. I did the MRI only to find out that the reason they had me down for one was "neck pain" which I've literally never said I had and they didn't include a brain MRI like I'd expected given my symptoms. MRI turned out fine, which was a relief as much as it was kind of expected. The EMG is yet to be done (on the 28th).

I finally had my appointment with my CNP on Monday for my first monthly shot and to do labs, including the folate lab they screwed up. I told her that I wanted her to run labs for the missed folate, iron, vitamin D, magnesium, and copper. She sort of...laughed at me?? and told me that we ran those labs already. I told her to look at my chart because we didn't, and she obviously had to walk back her sentence and was like "I don't think we need to run labs for vitamin D but we can if you want?" and of course I said that I did. She refused to run labs for magnesium because that was "a more serious lab" and then said she "didn't know how to even test for copper because that's a heavy metal". I get my labs done, get my first monthly B12 shot. She sends me on my way with "depending on how your labs turn out, we'll see if we need to continue B12 shots"...when it can take a year for my symptoms to correct themselves.

Go figure~ my labs come back - the labs I had to TELL her to order for me - and out of a desired 30+ range for vitamin D, my level is 7 lmao. Thankfully I still am going to be getting monthly B12 shots since my levels are higher (due to self-treating) but still low. I also have to take vitamin D and a multivitamin now. She also referred me to a hematologist because I brought up the MTHR gene that can affect B12 absorption since I'm not anemic or vegan. I just want to know what's causing this deficiency, because she seems to have dropped the ball on the matter altogether.

I'm close to a week out from my last shot now and my muscles are getting tense and twitchy again. It's so, so hard to sit here and tell myself that this healing process is just going to take time-- trying to reassure myself that my muscle twitching is just "nerve wake up" and not a sign of something much worse. I've been going quietly crazy worried about ALS, Parkinson's, or MS because these deficiencies can mimic their symptoms. I just want it to be the 28th so I can get my EMG done and over with, and then see my neuro on the 2nd of October. I so tired of going to the doctor. I'm tired of feeling like they don't take me and my symptoms seriously. I'm tired of feeling like an annoyance. I'm tried of having to go out and do my own research and then bringing that research to my doctors, because between the two of us, I don't have a fucking medical degree. I'm tried of hearing "don't consult Dr. Google" when what else am I supposed to do when you're not doing your job thoroughly?

I'm just tired and I want to feel better.

#health stuff #b12 deficiency #vitamin d deficiency #detailed medical talk under the cut so read at your own discretion

[sukunoon]

ꕥ the conclusion kemi came to; based off true events.

this is a story of a girl, let’s call her, abby.

abby met a boy at semi freshman year, we’ll call him, derek.

derek fell first, but abby fell harder. she talked about him everyday to her best friend at the time, who we’ll call, kemi.

abby and derek were both very smart individuals, most of their grades being A+’s bc school was both of their lives. so, at school, they were great friends who eventually started dating, but never got to hang out outside of school bc derek’s parents disliked abby very very much.

this meant they only talked to each other during the school day with the limited classes they had with one another. 

abby and derek continued dating despite his parent’s opinion on abby for a solid 2 and a half years. all throughout the covid year when they didn’t even go into school, they concured all the battles of a relationship.

abby always told kemi, “he’s my person, we’re meant to be together” even through the hardships they faced as a couple together, as a relationship should. 

fast forward to the last month of their junior year of high school, students who made the top 10 within the class began getting recognized, getting awards for the achievement. 

abby’s entire goal for her junior year was to push through and make top 10, which unfortunately, she did not get. but her boyfriend, derek, on the other hand, made not only top 10, but top 5.

as soon as abby learned of this fact, she began ghosting derek in a fit of rage, telling kemi about her anger every day until one day, about a week later, abby broke up with derek. her person, her everything, her best friend, was now gone.

but that fact didn’t hit her until two weeks later.

after those many days without talking to him, she realized she had messed up as she went back to him, begging and pleading for the two of them to start talking once more.

because derek was such a people pleaser, such a nice guy that didn’t deserve the heart break he just went through, he told her they could be friends even if abby had alterior motives—getting back together with him.

for the next month and a half they were friends, talking almost everyday once more. abby was glad the two were talking again, but wasn’t satisfied with the result. 

she needed a relationship. 

she needed to be able to say she wasn’t single, being single was embarrassing in her mind.

so, at the end of the month of june, marching band started. 8am to 4pm, 5 days a week. she didn’t get to talk to derek as often as the previous weeks of the summer break or during the last weeks of their junior year.

though the second day of marching band, abby texted kemi late into the night. “so apparently one of the sophomore percussionists has a crush on me...” is what she said. it wasn’t even a full 24 hours later before she talked to kemi again, this time, face to face in the band hall.

abby’s mom had given her the advice of exploring her options, so, abby took it without telling derek, the one she believed she was destined to be with, her person. 

so, a few more days past, abby got the young percussionist’s number and they had been talking the days prior to the last day of the week, friday.

it was about 8:37pm that abby texted kemi with a few memes she had made, she thought they were hilarious. kemi on the other hand did not think so, but acted as if they were to be nice.

abby then started asking kemi for advice like she’s ever been in a relationship before, kemi tried her best. telling abby to tell derek about her newfound interest in this sophomore. so, abby listened and told derek.

derek took the news well.

though, as kemi dug deeper and asked abby a few more questions about the matter, this is what abby texted kemi.

“derek is like a right person wrong time trope, and i need a few wrong people right times.”

abby is willing to break people’s heart who may think they’ll be together.

abby is going into a relationship knowing it’s going to end sooner or later due to her selfishness.

abby is a bitch who only cares about her feelings and how she feels and how she’s comforted rather than the feelings of those she’s hurting with her actions.

this is the conclusion kemi came upon after the conversation presented.

this is the conclusion that will lead kemi to no longer associate with abby.

this is the conclusion kemi will make sure people know about abby, so they don’t get their heart broken by such a selfish person.

#[ꕥ] — streaming #based on true events #that happened like #an hour ago👎

[miraculousfanworks]

Creator Spotlight: Day

The Miraculous Fanworks Discord server’s spotlight highlights content creators in the community! Each month, one artist and one writer will have their accounts promoted on our social media accounts.

This month’s spotlight highlights a creator who is both a writer and an artist: @day-writingdaydreams!

Day is both a talented writer and artist, coming up with inventive scenarios for all aspects of creating.

We’ve interviewed her, asking her questions about her fanworks and advice for other creators.

1. How long have you been writing in general?

I was a late bloomer to the writing scene, as I was primarily a reader. I finally started to write in 2019, after I had gotten very angry about a crucial detail in a fanfic that I had read in another fandom. I was 36 years old at the time, and I finally had the urge to write. My first piece wound up being a songfic that I had written for a Big Bang in another fandom, but I had started writing sporadically ever since. 

2. How long have you been drawing in general?

I’ve been drawing ever since I could remember, and art class was one of my favorite subjects. I started creating art under the name PenPaperInk&Paint during the 2020 pandemic, as I had started a YouTube channel for it at the time, mostly dealing in time-lapsed traditional art with mixed media. My YouTube channel is currently undergoing a rebranding, but most of my art can be found on Instagram under @pen.ink.artworks.

3. How long have you been creating for the fandom, and what’s your favorite part of the process? 

I had started creating for Miraculous in late 2020, starting with a one-shot based off of the song “Loyal, Brave, & True”. Something about these two precious, innocent dorks grabbed my attention and refused to let go. I started creating artwork for the fandom a few months later, learning digital art while creating some small graphics to be published in the Miraculous Fanworks Discord Server Newsletter. My favorite part of both processes is getting lost in a scene, usually while writing or reading, and then wanting to draw those scenes.

4. Has there been anything in particular that influences your style?

For writing, I’m usually inspired by music, as nearly all of my stories are songfics of some kind. Before the server had announced the “Spin The Record” challenge, I was already drawing up plans for writing “You Will Be Found”, which was my very first foray into writing a multi-chapter story. Other times, the story ideas that pop into my head are based on conversations held in the MF discord server, like my one-shot called “The Spice of Life”.

For drawing… I hate doing lineart. I will do everything in my power to not do lineart. If this means that I spend hours in shading hell to make a piece look good, then so be it. It’s infinitely better than the frustration that I get when doing lineart.

5. Do you have any advice you’d like to give to other creators?

Create what you can, wherever and whenever you can. As a full-time working mom, I try to sneak in some form of creating fanwork in-between working with customers, during lunch breaks, when the Kid is doing his homework, or I voice record story ideas as I drive home from work. Sometimes my husband will find me awake at 2 am trying to finish a story idea or a drawing (he works nights, so this does happen). Try not to ruin your sleep schedule, though, advises the insomniac. 

6. How do you think the identity reveal is going to go? Feel free to write/draw something quick if you want to!

“Ladybug,” Su-Han intoned gravely. “You’ve made a mistake. You know what the consequence is.”

Pure panic overcame her face before Chat turned towards the monk. “I promised her that I would help retrieve the Miraculous. That offer does not extend to you.”

“Kitty…”

“You do not have a choice, Chat Noir,” Su-Han declared. “You are a Miraculous holder, and according to the rules, you will help the Guardians retrieve them.”

“The only Guardian I acknowledge is her,” Chat growled. “I don’t know who you are. Ladybug is the only Guardian whom I have my faith and trust in. I will only be loyal to her.”

His words took the monk by surprise, even knowing that the holder of destruction was steadfast in his loyalty to Ladybug. 

He had not counted on this, though he should have known to expect the unexpected from these two. 

“Then I have no other choice,” Su-Han muttered just loud enough for the two teenagers to hear. “If this is how you choose to face this challenge, and to keep Ladybug’s memories intact, then you must do so without any secrets between yourselves.”

“Do you mean…?”

“Yes,” the monk replied. “You must reveal your identities to each other.”

You can find Day on Tumblr @day-writingdaydreams​, on Instagram as pen.ink.artworks, and on Archive of Our Own as WritingDaydreams. Some of her works include “As You Wish”, a Princess Bride AU; “You Will Be Found”, a work inspired by the musical Dear Evan Hansen; “The Spice of Life”, inspired by a conversation that took place on Miraculous Fanworks; a drawing inspired by Mikauzoran’s “Serendipity”; a drawing inspired by MiaBrown’s “pipe is what dreams are made of”; and a traditional piece depicting a Marichat version of the Adrinette dance.

Interested in being featured? Come join the server!

#miraculous ladybug #ml #miraculous fanworks #fanfiction #fanart #creator spotlight