#and even if there IS no obvious cause the mentally ill aren’t likely to victimize you anyway 🙄🙄

[firecrackerhh]

Yknow what? Fuck it, I’m in a petty fucking mood tonight and a certain Squidiot has decided to commit the sin of being, as usual, a terrible person to people undeserving of it, and I don’t tolerate bullshit. No one asked me to do this obviously but if you think I need permission to be a fucking bitch to people I deem worthy of such rage, that’s never stopped me before.

This bitch has the FUCKING AUDACITY to tell someone to get therapy for their “unhealthy coping mechanisms???”

Squidiot? The same clearly delusional dumbfuck who made a fucking google doc on every fucking “problematic” thing Viv has ever done? The same dumbfuck whose been such a pain in the ass to everyone on Twitter that both Viv and Morgana Ignis blocked them? The same bitch who makes long rambling near incoherent posts bitching about Viv and Helluva as if anyone beyond their braindead followers gives a fuck? The same bitch who keeps claiming they’ll leave and yet—surprise surprise—they never fucking do?

Ok I’ll be fair here, the last thing isn’t a sign of mental illness. It’s just annoying.

“Get better coping mechanisms.”

And you think you have the right to tell other people how to deal with their fucking trauma???? What the fuck is wrong with you???? Deal with your own shit before you go judging other people’s!

If your blog is any indication you have a lot of shit to unpack yourself.

Also, considering your absolutely deranged and frankly stalker like behavior towards Viv if not various crew members, I think if anyone should “get help” it’s you.

Assuming you aren’t already getting help (which doesn’t look to be doing much by the way if you are)

Like you said, you’re a trauma victim yourself. So how on earth can you be so fucking rude and basically shit on a fellow victim of abuse that was just as if not worse than your own, all because their way of dealing with their trauma isn’t to your liking? That you personally believe it causes harm?

How would you feel if someone said the same thing about your coping mechanisms?

Especially ironic considering it seems you deal with your trauma by being a major fucking cunt to people who don’t fucking deserve it.

How do you feel right now?

“Get better coping mechanisms.”

Don’t get me wrong, I can understand completely why you would want to avoid such content. I’m not a proshipper myself (in the sense that I personally don’t have those kinds of ships…unless you count oc/canon as problematic for whatever reason.) but I’m sorry, you can’t expect the internet to be a 100% super safe space where nothing ever makes you uncomfortable. That’s not realistic. It is your responsibility to avoid whatever triggers you. Block, mute, whatever you gotta do to keep your clearly struggling mental health intact. No one is here to baby you. You have to put in the effort.

To expect other people to do it for you automatically is immature and selfish.

I don’t mean that clearly struggling mental health comment as an insult btw. It’s frankly obvious to me you need some kind of help. It’s so obvious that you’re fucking miserable.

I would pity you if only you weren’t such a bitch. So intent on making everyone else as miserable as you.

That’s fucking sad dude. Dragging other people into the mud doesn’t make you any cleaner.

You say you’re leaving and all, but I know how hyperfixations work my dude, I should know, I’ve been obsessed with Hazbin (and to a lesser extent Helluva) for what’s going to be 4 years. I get the fucking rush of talking major shit on your blog is fun and all but Christ, you just sound so fucking angry. All the time. Isn’t that exhausting? I think it’s exhausting.

I know my header is tis I the werebitch but damn dude, I can only get angry so much about one thing before I stop caring at some point.

And then you say even dumber shit and suddenly I have an intense urge to tell you to go fuck yourself.

Contrary to the vibe I probably give off to the few followers that actually take the time to read this bullshit, I’m not exactly the most confrontational person irl. I’m actually quite shy in social situations and every time I fuck up even slightly in public I want to die, but I know what’s right and wrong, and this shit? Shitting on another victim of abuse because you think THEY’RE coping wrong?

That’s fucked up. That’s wrong. That’s fucking disrespectful.

Your own trauma is not an excuse to be a fucking asshole to other people.

And I have a low tolerance for bullshit. For those who claim to be righteous and yet their actions prove otherwise.

How do you fucking sleep at night? You’re so fucking convinced you’re some fucking martyr or something, that you’re helping people.

Has fucking anyone been helped by you? Or is this more for your fucking ego?

I don’t know nor do I want to know why you are who you are, there’s no excuse for this shit.

This shit is outright cruel. You’re cruel. Victimizing others will not make you feel better about yourself. Not in the long term. What you’re being is a BULLY.

I don’t respect bullies.

You treat people like shit for reasons I will never know. I understand you supposedly want to help people not suffer the way you did. But what you’re doing? Ain’t it chief. You do not help victims by bullying them into the “correct” way to handle their trauma. You’re just giving these people more trauma.

I’ll ask again. How would you feel if someone told you they didn’t like your coping mechanisms? I don’t care if it’s morally correct in your view to try and bully abuse victims into submission, or at the least dismiss their opinion because it doesn’t fit your narrative.

Rather hypocritical of you given you claim the fandom does the same thing…

I don’t like how you feel the need to “cancel” people over shit from a fucking decade ago when said person has obviously changed. I think your attitude is fucking whiny, immature and overall unpleasant. You make those long ass posts under the delusion anyone fucking cares enough about you to read through that bullshit. At least I have the decency to put my rant posts under a very specific tag that people can filter out if they so choose.

And the worst part is this whole thing will probably fly right past you.

Yeah, instead you play victim, as you always do, focusing on whatever well earned insults I’ve thrown at you instead of the actual point. Like a child. Assuming you find this of course.

And hmm…funny, what was that you said about me?

Iron. E.

Projection if nothing else.

I said what I meant and I meant what I said. If anything from the few posts I’ve made about you bothers you, maybe learn how to self-reflect on your actions instead of blaming everyone else. Like a child.

I reiterate.

Get. Better. Coping. Mechanisms.

Fix. Your. Shit.

🧨🔥~Firecracker out~🧨🔥

#tis i the werebitch #Squidiot🦑 #lmao I write this shit like they’ll actually read it #guess I’m no better in that aspect lmao #I like to think I’m slightly less annoying at least

[timeisacephalopod]

I went to get groceries (bad idea on a Sunday when busses are always trash) and on my way back a bunch of bees decided me, my plant, and also my fucking bagels were in Desperate need of pollination and I was like hello, even the plant isn’t a flower get lost you pesky confused fucks!! And this guy waiting with me at the light while I Did Battle with the bees decided he was going to cross the street, which I initially didn’t think anything of, whatever, I was more concerned with the bees.

Then he ends up crossing back over the street in the way he went to avoid me (presumably because I was acting like a crazy person not that I was disrupting his day any) only to have to pass by me waiting at the bus stop. Boy did he look awkward and on account of that was rude as all hell for no fucking reason when at no point did I bug him or his personal bubble. So I glared daggers at him the whole time he passed watching his awkward ass face as he went because yeah buddy, that was ignorant and I damn well know what you did, and you damn well know why I was acting the way I was on account of at no point did I act like a nut once I was away from the cornucopia of bees that decided I was a fucking flower (not to mention my ‘there’s nothing here to pollinate’ was probably a good indicator even if he didn’t see the damn bees themselves 🙄🙄). Anyway, I hope everyone avoids him like the plague even when he’s not doing anything but being annoyed with insects all over his shit.

#winters ramblings #I mean I wondered when he first fucked off but was like dude not everything is about you #and then he CROSSED BACK and I was like oh are you FUCKING kidding me?? #because I don’t like bees and had an actual reason to be annoyed in my own space in my own time?? REALLY?? #fuck you random guy I REALLY hope I made you damn uncomfortable lowkey confronting you with your rude as fuck choices #when I glared at you the whole time you went by me looking awkward as hell #YEAH buddy we both know what just happened and I’ll be DAMNED if I don’t make sure I know you’re a dick about it #unbelievable!! when people act like crazy people in my general vicinity but it’s with an obvious cause I don’t give a shit!! #and even if there IS no obvious cause the mentally ill aren’t likely to victimize you anyway 🙄🙄

[linkspooky]

Who is it who really needs saving? 

is the question Dabi asked when Tokoyami came to rescue Hawks in the middle of the raid war arc. Dabi asks this question just after Hawks stabbed twice in the back with the justification that it would save people, despite the fact that Twice was also a victim too, and also someone in need of saving. Dabi’s question is especially poignant because it asks who is hero society invested in saving, a question that is repeated by Twice who believes Hero Society only saves the good victims, and Himiko as well who asks if Heroes save people, then was Twice not a person. 

I bring this up because chapter 299/300 end on another parallel between Dabi and Hawks. Both of them have their backs being shown, however, Hawks is already healing due to the nature of his quirk, whereas the permanent burns on Dabi’s skin has already gotten worse. Hawks and Dabi also have opposite goals at this point, Hawks to support Endeavor, and Dabi’s ultimate goal is to bring him down. However, Rei’s words over Endeavor’s panel add another layer of complication to this. “Those regrets and guilt, the rest of those have borne that burden much more than you have.” Endeavor is suffering, but he’s not the one most in need of saving. I believe next chapter rightly, Rei is going to point out that the ones most in need of saving are the ones who suffered the most because of Endeavor’s actions. Endeavor was never the one in need of saving, and in need of redemption in the first place, rather it was Dabi. 

1. Started From the Bottom Now We’re Even Lower

Hawks and Dabi are seeming opposites even from their origin points. Hawks was born in a poor household the son to a minor villain, Touya a rich household the son of the number two hero. Hawks family name basically means nothing to the point where the hero commission easily erased it, whereas Dabi’s family name has dominated his entire life. Touya from a young age was given everything he needed to become a hero and his father even encouraged him, while Hawks was on the run from the law and couldn’t even leave his small house without getting yelled at. 

At first, Hawks was born with a quirk that both of his parents disapproved of as they constantly asked him what his wings were even for, and seemed disgusted by his mutation. While at the same time, Touya was born with a quirk that his father was happy with, a fire quirk even stronger than his own which Enji thought gave him enough of a potential that he didn’t need to worry about finding an ideal hybrid quirk. He could pass all his techniques onto his firstborn son who seemed eager to learn. 

The only real similarity between both of them was that for both children, Endeavor was clearly their favorite hero. Touya was eager to please his father and train with him in order to inherit his hero techniques, and when Endeavor captured Hawks father, it convinced Hawks that heroes were real. 

However, both of them experienced a sudden reversal of fate. This is where circumstances for both of them flipped. Touya’s quirk was in fact revealed to be a very harmful hybridization of his parents two quirks, he inherited his father’s flames but even hotter, while at the same time inheriting Rei’s sensitivity to fire which made th overheating flaw even worse on him causing his quirk to deliberately harm his body. Hawks however, is an ideali hybridization of both of his parents quirks. His mother Tomie has a quirk that creates eyeballs and seems ideal for searching, watching and locating things, while his father’s feather quirks on his arms that could sharpen into blades turned into wings on his back that were both capable of searching and detection like his mother’s eyeballs and sharpening into blades like his father’s. 

At first it seems destined that Touya was ging to become a hero, while Hawks had no hope for him, but because of the nature of their quirks the opposite happened. When Hawks was young he was able to save a busload of people from crashing which got him recruited by the hero commission. While it’s implied that Touya kept trying to train on his own even after Endeavor stopped the training and abandoned him in favor of Shoto, and because of that Touya had his training accident at Sekoto peek and burned to death. 

Dabi and Hawks are seeming opposites, but they’re actually quite similar if you think about it. Both of them grew up in abusive households that are intentionally paralleled, they have controlling and physically violent fathers, and mothers who are coded as mentally ill, Tomie was unfit to take care of a child, and Rei was eventually pushed to a breaking point where she was unable to anymore and then forcibly separated and institutionalized by her husband. Both, also experienced a separation from their mother, Rei was hospitalized around the time Toya finally died, and the Hero Commission promised Tomie support if she cut all ties from him. Both of them also dreamed of becoming heroes, and tried their best to, even Touya after his father rejected him kept training on their own. 

The only difference between them is circumstances, Hawks was saved because he was born with a useful quirk, Touya despite his father being the number two hero was never saved. 

2. We’re the Heroes, Who Don’t Do Anything

In fact it’s implied that Enji intentionally looked away and forced himself to forget Touya’s suffering. For instance, the first time Touya trains with Enji he’s shown wearing a sleeveless shirt. Every time after that, Touya has long jacket sleeves on. When he’s crying to Natsuo, when he’s pulling out his hair, and the last memory from before his death, every time Touya is shown hiding his arms. We also know that Dabi, has burns that go all the way up his arms which is exactly where his flames emerge from. It’s also the place where Touya burns himself when Enji remembers training with him for the first time. 

It’s likely that Touya was walking around with burns up his arms from the training he was inflicting on himself, and Enji simply didn’t notice because his unreliable narrator status, he forgets everything he has done to other members of his family, or intentionally downplays the severity of it in order to avoid the guilt and consequences of his actions. Hence why he can say things like “I never meant to neglect you” to Natsuo, when we saw him call Natsuo and the others failures from Shoto’s perspective, because in Enji’s perspective he’s just a good father who went wrong somewhere along the line, whereas from Natsuo’s perspective he never really acted like a father towards him at all.

Enji only ever sees his own intentions, and not the impact his actions had on others. He only saw his heroic ambitions, and not the way he taught Touya that his only value was his quirk, and then completely tossed him aside as a failure and ignored all his suffering when Touya kept trying to get his attention. That he intentionally neglected Touya until either an accident or a suicide claimed his life. 

Either way it’s a running theme that Endeavor hesitates when it comes to saving his own sons. Despite seeing himself as both a hero and a father, he completely fails in both roles to them. 

He froze when it came time to save Natsuo from Ending, and the second time when Shoto was begging Endeavor for help against Dabi, Endeavor chose not to do a single thing. In fact the only thing that moved him was Deku’s pep talk that exclusively stoked his ego and called him a good mentor, which caused Endeavor to finally move into action. 

Endeavor is a hero in name who has no interest in directly saving others, because his number one priority has always been to stand at the number one spot and feel like he’s accomplished something. He didn’t notice Touya was most likely continuing the training on his own, and was spiraling that badly until after Touya had died, and even after that happened he still continued the training with Shoto like nothing happened, even mentioning that Touya was a small mistake. 

When the wounds from Touya’s death were still fresh, it seemed like barely anything more than an afterthought to him. There are some people who even theorize that Enji only believed Touya was always alive because he had never truly faced the guilt of Touya’s death and his role in it, that it was a comfort to him to believe his son was still secretly alive out there. 

The signs were obvious that Touya was spiraling, but he was neglected so much that Endeavor the number two hero who prides himself on most cases resolved didn’t notice what was going wrong with his son until he literally burned himself alive, and even then that wasn’t enough to stop him from mistreating his other son and forcing him into painful training. 

Touya’s neglect is as much abuse as Shoto’s favoritism and training, that’s the point of the golden child / scapegoat dynamic, they are both being abused. Enji was the only parent in the household, and if his kid was burning himself, and injuring himself all the time and it got to the point where the child literally died because of a lack of adult supervision, Enji could be prosecuted for manslaughter in a court of law. There are cases where adults just, do absolutely nothing for their kids, and those kids sometimes die of neglect, starvation, because of their parents completely failing to take care of them. It’s just as sinister a form of abuse as physical abuse. In both cases a child’s needs aren’t being provided for by their parents. 

Dabi is someone who could have been easily saved by his father paying attention to him, and should have been saved by the man who prides himself as the number two hero, but he was left to rot. This is a running theme with Endeavor, he’s a hero who continually fails to save his family. 

Dabi’s situation is also a metaphor for hero society at large. Who are the types of people that Hero Society prefers to save? Those who are useful to it like Hawks. It intentionally turns a blind eye to cases like Touya, Tenko  or Twice. If Touya did have burns on his arms from training but was able to cover them up just by wearing long sleeves, and Natsuo was the only one who knew then that goes even further to explain Dabi’s specific obsession with discrediting Endeavor.

If Dabi’s father had just acted like a hero, or acted like a father then he would have been saved. If Dabi’s father had noticed the person most in need of saving was right next to him, the incident where he burned to death never would have happened. Which is why Dabi’s grudge is specifically against heroes who do not act like heroes. Heroes who, cannot save anyone because they are too self involved to perform the duty of saving. He shares Stain’s obsession with ideologically pure heroes, that only heroes who put saving others selflessly over everything else should be allowed to exist and the rest are pretenders to the title.

Notice how Dabi pulls on the scars on his face when begging the people to think about this, about who should really be allowed to call themselves heroes. 

Dabi’s entire arc revolves around this question. Who are the real victims? Who are the ones that really need to be saved? Dabi is a character of mystery and subversion who is constantly hiding his real feelings. 

Dabi is commented on being heartless about Twice’s death, but his actions contradict his words. Dabi goes out of his way trying to avenge Twice even after it’s already too late to save him, even burning up his own body to do so. He tried so hard we see literally there are new scars growing on his back the next time we see him Post-War Arc. 

I’d also like to bring up that while Hawks accuses Dabi of feeling nothing about Twice’s death, Hawks is the one who killed him, and who after the fact shows no regret in his actions because he’s completely justified it to himself. He even remembers Twice like he’s some kind of old friend he took inspiration from, and not a person he manipulated into trusting him then killed. My point is it’s a reversal, Hawks is set up as the one who cares about Twice as a friend, but really was only using him. Dabi claims he was only using him, but he’s the one who showed an actual emotional reaction to Twice’s death and made an effort to save him. 

If I were to say this is one more point of foiling between Dabi and Hawks. They both don’t see themselves as victims and because of that they deny the victimhood of the other. 

Dabi accuses Hawks of becoming a murderer because his father was a murderer. Hawks when he learns the truth about Enji, takes Enji’s side over Dabi’s, believing Endeavor being the true victim in need of help in that situation. This is because Dabi and Hawks both deny their own victimhood, and they project that on each other. Dabi denies his victimhood and pretends to be the villain instead, he’s the villain who is going to take down Endeavor and therefore he’s not suffering. Hawks denies his own victimhood and his abusive past and pretends to be a hero, he’s helping Endeavor become a better hero, so therefore all the abuse Endeavor committed is in the past so therefore he doesn’t have to think about it. Both deny themselves and therefore deny any similarity in one another. 

They’re also two people fatally wrapped up in their own circumstances they turn a blind eye to the suffering of others. Dabi assumes that Shoto is “good” and therefore, must have been raised with love and had it better than him and was raised with love. Whereas Hawks assumes that Twice is “good”, and therefore worthy of saving because he helps other people. In both cases, neither Dabi nor Hawks really understand Shoto or Twice, they’re just judging them by their own projected standards. Dabi only understands his childhood as Touya desperately trying to work for Enji’s attention, so Shoto who had Enji’s attention must have had it good. Hawks was saved because of the bus accident where he saved people as a hero, so obviously it makes sense he reach out to try to save another good person who just had bad luck. 

Despite the fact that both of them are pretty much emotionally dead and in deep denial of their true feelings. 

Dabi has also made a show of how little he cares about Natsuo, while at the same time his most famous line from the pro hero arc is “overthought things and snapped...” 

Dabi is also the only one who notices it’s dangerous to bring Tokoyami onto a battlefield. This is when he asks the question, who is it who needs saving. 

We learn at around the same time, the hope from the Pro Hero arc was intentionally a set up by Dabi to bring Endeavor down, and show everyone eventually that Endeavor hadn’t truly changed. 

These are all small details yes, but keep in mind we’ve really only gotten crumbs of Dabi’s characterization so far because his perspective is one that has deliberately been kept from us. We see his past through almost everyone else’s eyes but his own - because so far the focus has been on Endeavor.

Just like Dabi set up Endeavor’s earlier success only to bring him down, this might also lead to a reversal in the narratives. In 299, Hawks believed Endeavor to be the one in need of help. We are also as an audience set up to believe that the narrative arc will focus around Endeavor’s redemption. This is before the series revealed the circumstances of his son. 

However, Endeavor and Dabi are literal opposites. They’re inversions of each other. Dabi pretends he doesn’t care any more for his family and will go out of his way to hurt them, that all he cares about is revenge, but at the same his ideals are heroic. In his actions and ideals he’s the one calling for a better society. Dabi is the most independent and distant from the league it’s true, and so far he’s denied their friendship, but at the same time it’s Dabi who is the most idealistic of the league. Shigaraki wants to destroy the current society, Himiko wants a society that’s easier on her, but it’s Dabi who has the ideals for a society he wants, one where heroes are held to standards and act like Heroes. It’s dabi better than anyone else who makes the standards for mass appeal. Because, deep down Dabi still has heroic aspirations and drive even if it comes from Stain of all people he’s inspired by. He has some sort of ideals, a world he’s trying to create.

Whereas, Endeavor doesn’t have any heroic ideals at all. His idea of being a hero has always centered around fame, status and the ranking of number one. He’s a hero unconcerned with saving people, only defeating villains to prove his strength. Endeavor presents himself outwardly as someone who is trying to do what’s best for his family, and working towards being the best hero he can be but his intentions are revealed to be selfish, at the same time as Enji’s narration is revealed as unreliable. It may have been set up for an inversion all along, with the setup being that Enji is the one who needed to redeem himself, when Dabi was pushed to the background. Around this time Rei also tried to reassure others, that he was trying to carry his regrets with him. 

However, as soon as Touya’s identity is revealed, Rei’s stance reverses. Now she properly calls out that, Enji hasn’t been carrying his regrets at al.. Instead, he’s been forcing his family to carry the burden of it while he gets to go play hero in front of the public. 

As soon as Touya is revealed to be alive, it’s not Enji who is the center and focus of conversation but rather Touya. In 299, Hawks believes that it’s Endeavor whose in need of saving, but we’re shown that Endeavor only really seems to pity himself in this situation. 

It’s Rei who shows up to remind us, who really is in need of saving in this situation. Not Endeavor but rather those who have been burned the most by Endeavor’s actions. 

Which may be the ultimate parallel between Hawks and Dabi as well, Hawks can’t see himself as a victim so he can’t realize who the victims who need his help the most is. Whereas, Dabi in the future may receive the change of heart he needs to reopen his heart again and accept others, and therefore learn to accept himself. Dabi is set up for a reconciliation between his two selves, Touya the victim and Dabi the villain. While ultimately, Hawks will intentionally turn his back on Keigo the victim, because he can only ever see himself as a hero.

 I’m not suggesting that Dabi is good or Hawks is bad, or the other way around, not something as simple as that but that Dabi is open to change, and this will lead to him eventually opening up to others. Whereas, Hawks who is given practically every opportunity to change, and even escapes killing Twice with no permanent consequences, (his wings are growing back, and he even is freed from the hero commission) chooses to support Endeavor once again. It’s Dabi who calls others to think and reevaluate, and is actively trying to create a change in the world, whereas Hawks only interest is protecting other heroes and not the victims that heroes themselves create. Because in his mind heroes are good and that fact will never change. 

Because Dabi is the one trying to create change, while Hawks continues to cling to Endeavor I believe we’ll eventually receive a reversal for both of them. Just as the narrative around Dabi has changed from irredeemable villain to person in need of saving, we may see exactly what was foreshadowed in this panel happening. Dabi walking towards the light, while Hawks falls further and further into the shadows - because it’s Dabi who is looking for that light, while Hawks chooses to remain in the dark. Hawks was saved once, and now he believes that everyone who is good gets saved, unless they are unlucky like Twice. It’s Dabi who knows the truth, that there are heroes who don’t save people, and it’s Dabi who is at least trying to confront that truth head on and change it rather than just ignoring it. 

In a way Hawks is someone who has gone blind from looking too closely at Endeavor’s light, whereas because Dabi was failed by Endeavor and fell into the shadows he at least knows the truth about what it’s like for those who don’t get saved, and unlike Hawks can’t keep deluding himself that this is a world where everyone who deserves it gets saved. 

#dabi #hawks #toya todoroki #touya todoroki #takami keigo #mha meta #my hero academia meta #my hero academia theory #bnha 299 #bnha 300 #mha 299 #mha 300

[thefanficmonster]

You Call It A Mess, We Call It Baking

Corpse Husband x Reader (Female)

Warnings: Swearing

Genre: Tons of fluff

Summary: A friendly argument via Discord leads to a baking session. Said baking session leads to a kitchen looking like it was the victim of a tornado. The lesson here is: don’t leave Corpse and Y/N in the kitchen together.

Requested by Anon, thank you so much for your request, hope I captured what you wanted well and I hope you enjoy reading it.

Corpse’s POV

I’ve been sitting in a Discord call with Y/N for about three years now, keeping her company as she’s editing some footage Sean sent her earlier. In the meantime, I’m reviewing the recently submitted stories by my viewers, reading some lines I find funny or downright terrifying to her.

“When I went in the kitchen to check on the cake, it was already out of the oven, a sticky note next to it on the counter that read: ‘smells nice’. My blood ran cold.“ I read the eerie sentence that is suggesting one of my most frightening scenarios - a stalker getting inside your house. I get chills just imagining what was probably going on in the sender’s head when they saw that.

“Jeez, it’s been so long since I’ve cooked something other than omelet.“ I hear Y/N reply absentmindedly, completely neglecting the fear factor of what’s going on in the story.

“Good job missing the point.” I chuckle, my eyes continuing to scan the email until my brain actually comprehends what she said, “Wait, you mean to tell me you have baked anything ever?! No offense, Y/N, but I was honestly doubting your ability to make an omelet as well. In all the years we’ve been friends I can’t remember you ever not saying ‘I hade takeout’ when I asked you what you had for dinner.” 

The scoff that comes through my headphones is the most adorable thing ever. She’s one to easily take a joke and never get offended by anything, but I know how heated she can get with her sarcasm. If I’m being honest, I’m always here for it. 

“There are many things you don’t know about me, Corpsy. A girl’s gotta have some aces up her sleeve.“ I can just imagine the narrowing of here eyes and the tilting of her head as she says that. She has a very specific way of expressing her thoughts. When we first met I accidentally made the comparison to one of those children’s books that have pictures, stories and small buttons for audio. That comparison has stuck with me and I look back at it very often. To fully catch her point, you don’t just listen to her. No, no, no. You focus on every change in her face and body. The way she looks away during certain parts of her speech, the way her voice plays with several different tones at once. Her posture while speaking. Just like those books - you don’t just listen to the audio, you look at the pictures and read the text.

“Well you know how much I like playing poker, why don’t you come over and throw those aces down.“ The last thing you should ever give Y/N is a challenge. She won’t only homerun it, but will never let you forget it either. When we met she was a girl with self esteem in the negatives, so seeing her brag about her achievements to me always brings me joy.

The details I’ve listed are pretty in-depth, aren’t they? That’s because I don’t want to let anything slip when it comes to her. This realization hit me early in our friendship and it was only like two years in that I finally connected the dots - this investment in her of mine was not simple nor platonic. Come to think of it, I reckon it never was.

“No way, I’m not changing out of my pajamas just to come to your house.” She laughs, once again making me picture her full body reaction to her statement.

I smirk, knowing I’m about to bring out my main weapon, “Oh come on, I’ve seen you in pajamas countless times. You can just admit you don’t wanna embarrass yourself. Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone.”

I can sense her fuming even though she’s like two miles away. “I’ll be there in 15.”

She hangs up before getting the chance to hear me lose control of the laughter I’ve been suppressing. 

Man, I love this girl.

Y/N’s POV 

“It’s on.“ I say as soon as the door in front of me swings open to reveal the smug smirking face of my bestfriend. The foundation of my tough, unbothered act is shaken up by the outburst of butterflies in my stomach which occurs every time I see him. I can never look at this man and not turn at least a little red in the cheeks. 

It’s been long since I self-diagnosed with the malicious ‘falling for someone who would never reciprocate my feelings’ illness. I’ve been living with it for a while. What medication do I take? Dating other guys. One bad relationship after another, scolding myself that every one of them has been a desperate attempt to get him to change his gaze on me from ‘best friend’ to something more. Hell, I don’t even know how to define that ‘something more’. I once even tried to admit my feelings, but I was so vague and so incoherent that I didn’t understand myself, so how was he supposed to grasp my downright sad excuse of a confession. 

“No ‘hello’, no nothing?“ He moves aside to let me in. I walk right past him with a sassy flip of my hair to mask the nervousness of being aware that his eyes were on me, “Rude.“ He murmured with an obvious smile in his tone.

He looks as cute as ever, black sweatpants and a black tee, hair messy as though he has just rolled out of bed. I can say with the upmost certainty that he’s the only one who can pull of that hairstyle.

I hide mine as I throw on the apron that’s hanging by his fridge, ready to take over his kitchen and put those aces of mine to use. I can’t help but furrow my brows when I see him enter the kitchen behind me and lean against the counter. That’s when I notice the counter is lined with all the ingredients I’ll need for the cake I had in mind. 

“OK, what do we do first?“ he claps his hands together, straightening his posture as he gives me a expectant look.

It takes all my brain cells to prevent me from freezing up completely. I’m not usually like this, mind you, I’m a lot better at keeping what’s going on inside my head camouflaged. I don’t know what’s happening to me, but I don’t have much time to dwell on that. If I do, he’ll pick up on it right away.

“Um, we are not gonna do anything. I will be here baking, and you will remain outside the kitchen until I’m done. If you need something, ask and I’ll bring it to you. I can’t have you sabotaging my project, impostor.” I narrow my eyes at him like he’s the most dangerous of threats. And he is, for my mental sanity.

He fakes a hurt expression, clearly fighting to the best of his ability to hide how much he’s enjoying messing with me. “We’ve known each other for five years, Y/N. Don’t you trust me?”

I lean over the counter to where we’re about two feet apart and whisper, “Not. Even. A. Little. Bit.”

He smiles, “You’re just trying to get away with making this cake by watching a YouTube tutorial. Admit it, you can’t even crack an egg properly.” His eyes are now as narrowed as mine as we stare each other down at a proximity that’s rapidly raising my body temperature and heartbeat. It’s not fair. I’m a mess around him so he automatically has the upper hand.

As expected, I give in, “You better not mess around though.”

After I force him to give me several different oaths, we start. I’m working on the batter, he’s working on the frosting. We decided to decorate it with crimson and dark purple frosting. We’re both really pick about the color shades so he’s currently struggling to get the crimson perfect. 

“Let’s make it a layer cake.“ He suggests out of the blue, “Two layers, nothing crazy.“

I think it over for a moment or two before shrugging, “OK, but then you better grab a bowl and help me with the second layer. You know how to make the batter, right?”

He confirms that he does and walks out of my line of sight. I hear him open the fridge as I whisk the eggs I have cracked with the sugar. 

“You want something to drink?“ He asks while rummaging through the fridge.

I decline, try to focus on the recipe that I have somehow memorized to the smallest of details. As I’m reciting the it silently to make sure I didn’t skip any steps with the batter, I feel something cold run down my back causing me to scream.

“What the fuck was that?!“ I turn around and glare at him just as the ice cube slips out from under my hoodie and falls to the floor. The fucker’s laughing whole heartedly, not giving a damn that he just gave me a mini heart attack. Mainly cause I thought it was a roach or something, and he know I hate bugs.

“You do realize how boiling red you are, right? You look like a lobster. I thought you needed something to cool you down.“

Instead of being annoyed, I do a full 180 and decide to play his game, “Yeah, I know...” I trail off, reaching my hand back towards the bowl of flour. Grabbing a a handful of the white powder I throw it at him before he can even catch on. Needless, to say, his outfit and hair aren’t so black anymore. “Ah, I knew your hair would look good with snowflakes in it, but you can never be too sure.”

“This means war, Y/N.” His smile is borderline malicious, getting me excited for what’s to come. 

Him and I have always had these so called wars, but never like you’d imagine. We are silent, strategic, subtle. Neither of us knows when the other will attack until it’s too late. That’s why instead of going for a counter-attack right away, he heads to complete his mission of making the batter for the second layer.

All is quiet except the noises of the utensils clinking together every now and then. I keep a close watch on him out of the corner of my eye and I notice no sus behavior. That is until I see him take a spoonful of his batter and eat it. I whirl around at the speed of a gust of wind, eyes wide, “Do you want to fuck up your guts.” He ignores me as he takes another spoonful, bringing it close to his mouth. This time, I grab onto his arm causing the contents of the spoon to spill on my hoodie.

I roll my eyes, unbothered by the brown stain that by some miracle missed the apron and fell on my grey hoodie, “Don’t. Eat. The. Batter. Copy?“

“Paste.“ He nods, smirking with pride as he puts the spoon aside.

I sigh and return to my side of the kitchen, focusing on the next task: poring the batter into the circular baking tray which he, for some reason, has two of. He repeats the task soon after me and we put the two trays in the oven. I help him with the frosting, getting the shades close enough to what we had in mind. 

After about five minutes of the crusts baking, a wonderful smell spreads throughout the kitchen. At this point, all we have to do is wait for the oven to signal that our cinnamon crust is ready to be taken out, wait for it to cool down and then frost the cake.

“It smells really good.“ He comments, turning his head to look at me.

I’m sitting atop the kitchen counter and Corpse is standing next to me. This is the only time him and I are at approximately the same height. The realization brings a thought to my mind, one that makes me feel like an evil mastermind.

“Hey, remember earlier when you said I couldn’t crack an egg properly?“ He hums affirmatively, “Well...“

The carton of eggs is within arm’s reach. I grab an egg, chip it off the side of the counter and crack it apart above his head, its contents coating his hair. “How’s that for a proper egg crack?” I ask victoriously.

He lets out a surprised sound, something between a gasp and a laugh. Shaking his head to get the yoke to fall down, he says amusedly: “I don’t know...you tell me.”

Too late for me to do anything. There’s milk all over me.

The malicious smile on his face is replicated on mine and now it’s really on. However, as we reach for the items meant to be out weapons, the oven dings.

Frosting the cake goes about as well as you expect: there’s more frosting on us than the cake itself.

“Let’s make amends, please. I’m so not looking forward to taking three showers tonight.“ I say, raising a white napkin and waving it around.

“Fair enough.“ He shrugs and we shake hands.

As I’m about to pull my hand back, he holds onto it, making me look up at him. Our eyes lock and I suddenly regain that same shakiness and vulnerability I always have around him. It never leaves me, I just manage to ignore it. The sound of my panic is muffled by the sound of my heart thumping the loudest it has ever. 

Expectedly, he is the bold one who makes the first and final move. The move to end one era of us and start another. His lips touch mine and all fades. It’s just him and I. The friends who were never just friends. The cowards who suck at dealing with emotions. The fearful little kids that are afraid of rejection because we both mean so much to each other, to the point of suffering to prevent the possibility of losing one another.

We embrace who we are, finally admitting that friends is not what we are meant to remain forever.

The kiss might’ve been brief, but the meaning it carries makes it the most valuable moment of my life. One I’ll cherish forever. Something in his eyes tells me he will too. That’s all I need. That’s all we need. No words are necessary.

Suddenly, our bubble bursts as a result of his ringing phone. He lets go of one of my hands and takes his phone from the counter.

“It’s Dave”, he smiles, picking up the call and turning to get me in the camera frame. “Hey Dave, look who’s here with me.“

I wave at the camera and at the baffled face of Dave. “Hi!”

“What, in the name of God, is that mess?“ He raises both his eyebrows as his eyes scan us and the kitchen behind us.

“You call it a mess, we call it baking.“ Corpse and I look at each other and smile, blushing as red as the streak in Dave’s hair.

“Am I missing something here? Did I call at a bad time?“ He asks, still struggling to rationalize what he is seeing.

“Yeah, you actually did. I’ll call you back.“ Corpse dead-ass hangs up on him, putting his phone away before turning to me, “We have more important matters at the moment.“

He kisses me again, this time more confidently. His arms wrap around me and prep me up on the counter, insinuating that this kiss won’t be as short as the last.

#corpse husband #corpse #husband #corpsehusband #corpse husband fanficiton #corpse husband fanfic #x reader #reader #fanfiction #fanfic #corpse simp #request #requests open #romance #friends to lovers #love

[why-this-kolaveri-machi]

the wolf should’ve been afraid of me.

Titans 3.04

just under the wire! ... i hope.

like with the previous review, i’m typing this up as i see the episode. here we go!

spoilers ahead.

1. ... well. that was an interesting cold open.

1.25. i don’t know whether to admire this show’s restraint when it comes to gotham and its excesses, particularly arkham asylum. it’d be easy to go hammer and tongs, like suicide squad (2016) did, or any number of bat media did, at a tropey, colourful~~insanity~~ that can be quite damaging, casting mental illness in strangeness and criminality. it definitely shows gotham as... separate from the rest of the country, its own ecosystem of heroes and villains, a sort of rogue state. 

but that ecosystem is still human, with its heroes needing to clip parts of themselves away just to survive, growing old and needing to be recycled, its villains languishing in the same kinds of systems that fail everybody else who needs to be helped. it’s a quieter, tenser sort of wrongness: not strange enough that you can dissociate, but not close enough that you can completely empathise. gotham is its own creature.

1.5. i know that the reasoning behind this is more doylist than anything, but i’m so glad that joker was killed off with little fanfare right at the start of the season. he is the one man in the batverse that’s transcended its confines as this sort of ethereal boogeyman/eternal edgelord and to justify his presence in the series would mean giving him this tired, overblown importance and too much of a stab at colourful, tropey “madness” in this otherwise-subdued series. i wish all batmedia would follow suit and get rid of this fucker.

1.75. so jason is bucking scarecrow’s control! or reminding him of who exactly holds all the cards right now. circling back to what i talked about in the last review, it’s remarkable just how little time it’s been since jason’s “death” and he’s already got ‘minions’ and elaborately set up plans to track, break and kill the titans. just how long has he been planning this? when did he first look at WE weapons prototypes and think that’s something i can use to blow somebody up? and the most unsettling question: did he plan his own death at the hands of the joker just so that he could break batman?

at this point it’s obvious that the scarecrow at least started jason down this path, but it’s frightening just how far he’s travelled already.

1.8. aaagh, less than one minute in! i’ll shut up. 

2. conner washing his hands at the sink reminds me that he was directly in the line of explosion when hank got blown up and he’s probably got atomised hank-bits all over his skin that he’s desperately trying to wash off.

... you’re welcome.

2.25. conner, don’t you speak to gar fucking logan like that, sir, no!

2.3. if anything it’s the lex part of him that gave him the knowhow to recognise the weapon and build a de-activator for it. 

anyway, for that ‘half-breed’ and ‘talking tiger’ comment?

(i wish, tho, that we actually see conner more interested in the superman part of his legacy, like maybe listening to stories from gar, or even better, dick, so we get a better idea of the pressure he’s feeling to live up to that part of him and not the part that’s lex.)

((i talked about conner’s stages of moral development in his introductory episode last season, but i wonder if the next stage of his self-actualisation would be to further integrate the parts of himself and realise that they are only parts and he, conner, is an entirely different person unto himself that can make decisions on how to use what he has and what he knows. his superman abilities can be used to destroy. his lex knowledge can be used to save.))

3. oh dawn :((

3.25. is this the last we see of dawn and hank? i mean, we know donna is coming back; would it be a stretch to think they’ll try to have a go at resurrecting hank as well?

3.5. “deathstroke didn’t make us into killers.” good, because deathstroke didn’t make jason a killer either. there’s a missing step there you need to be looking for, dick. 

3.75. dick did try to break the cycle, step away from gotham, run from the possibility that he could turn into batman. it didn’t help; he couldn’t fully withdraw from his vigilante persona the same time he loathed it, and batman literally haunted him both asleep and awake. but maybe gotham doesn’t have to turn anybody into anything. maybe gotham has nothing to do with it at all. it’s about taking responsibility, realising some sacrifices are pure bullshit, and building an actual family instead of merely a team.

anyway: hugs!

(oh, also? mr “i hate flying”? i mean, there’s perfectly valid reasons to hate flying that’s not related to childhood trauma, but then again, this guy was literally a ‘flying grayson’ once. also also, remember that he also gets sea-sick. must’ve a lot of fun stories to tell.)

4. ooh that gar/kory confrontation was brief but cool!

listen, i have never seen a psychiatrist with that extravagant an office and SIR I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW HOW--

4.5. kory’s so unused to reaching out for help and it’s breaking my heart that HPG likely is some kind of impostor that’s maybe causing her symptoms in the first place. 

kory and dick have mostly been apart this season but it’s remarkable how their journeys have paralleled each other; kory processes her grief, isolation and existential dread into a determination to take care of this new family she has, no matter what it takes; dick does much the same, forging ahead with plans and solutions until he has no fuel left in him and spirals into a massive breakdown.

4.25. listen titans this really is a TERRIBLE continuity error. we aren’t goldfish; we can clearly remember that two minutes ago it was gar’s upper arm that was burned, not his forearm. COME ON.

“sensory deprivation tank” *SNORT*

anyway, gar is the BEST

4.5. i wonder where these visions of experimentation took place. was it on tamaran, or on earth, after she came to hunt down rachel/trigon and before she lost all her memories? is HPG a part of the scientist group that experimented on her? ... god, i hope not. i mean, i think he is, but it would be cool to have some positive therapist representation in media. 

5. you’d think the van transporting a dangerous supervillain that only batman could catch would be more secure but... i’m also not entirely surprised. 

5.15. i love dick gives ZERO shits about hiding himself or even ensuring scarecrow is adequately contained. just turns away after kidnapping him in BROAD DAYLIGHT and says ‘let’s go’. I LOVE THIS DUMBASS

6. lmao gar is having a really really shitty day SOMEONE GIVE THIS MAN A BREAK or just a goddamn story arc of his own

6.5. i’m really confused about the timeline here. so... sometime ago, kory came down to earth to hunt down trigon, yeah? at some further point down the line she and her sister were kidnapped and experimented on. THEN she somehow escapes but... loses her memory? a few months pass and then we see blackfire alive and well and free; she kills faddei, can impersonate other people, and is clearly seeking out kory. but now she’s still in the experiment facility...? what’s going on?

i’m not entirely surprised about the facility being mostly deserted. either the biggest investors in this project gave up on it and it was left to the most fanatic to carry on, or they were deliberately trying to lure kory and get her to free blackfire--expand the environs of the experiment, so to speak.

7. hopefully barbara is going to get something to do other than listen to various men give her Attitude

8. how do you terrorise a terrorist? well:

i love when dick is a scary-competent motherfucker.

8.25. ooooh, the attack on crane at arkham a ploy to get crane to blackgate? nice one dick, i didn’t even think of that. but why though? to protect crane from the titans? to intercept the van to blackgate and “rescue” him? seems likely--red hood was there, except dick got to crane quicker.

9. still reeeallly unclear about the komand’r situation. was komand’r captured after s2? is this all A TRAP?? if so, why are you stepping into the only thing that can contain you, kory????

9.25. so... definite parallels between dick/jason and kory/kom here. i’m just. i’m still. really confused. i’ll shut up now.

10. this may be my favourite dick look yet:

woodsman!dick in a beanie.

10.5. i unironically love how titans has made this bizarrely-devoted-to-his-moniker, toxin-spewing supervillain into a tamer version of hannibal, psychoanalysing his victims into submission. it’s of a piece with how inward looking titans is, the way all of its villains are obsessed with how our protagonists’ minds work, to the point where they would actually spend time inside of them. 

there are no big plots to end the world. no apocalypses or endgames here. these villains collect the titans’ insecurities like infinity stones. the way the titans defeat them is by achieving character growth--literally winning by the power of love. literally “the real superpower is the friends we made along the way”!

10.7. anyway, i’m betting dick is used to this bullshit from crane and is humouring him in the service of getting more information. the story about the wolf? an implicit threat, not to mention dick getting to control what crane knows about him and what methods he would use to manipulate him.

am i giving dick too much credit here? i don’t think so. he’s really impressed me so far this season.

10.75. like. there’s a real unreliable narrator vibe coming off with every person that talks about bruce (much like how the various members of the titans talked about jason’s motivations) and to buy into crane’s talk about bruce being a psychopath is to fall for the same manipulation that jason fell for. dick is the only person who hasn’t really psychoanalysed bruce this season, and i think some part of his detective brain is piecing things together into a bigger picture.

11. i’m glad kory rescued kom but did she have to kill the scientist?

(i mean, yeah, probably - the less people know that kom escaped the less likely they’re going to have the fucking govt on their doorstep, but still.)

11.5. dick’s gonna come back to wayne manor, stare straight at komand’r and go, well which room would you like? because the team might as well adopt ANOTHER person, yeah?

12. oh MAN that red hood/nightwing fight was AMAZING! and he did the thing! the boomerang escrima thing! i’m so delighted!

12.5. the anger and disbelief in dick’s voice when he says you told crane EVERYTHING?! tells me that he knew exactly what he was telling crane himself.

12.75. “everything you are is because of him” - oh that reminds me of halluci!bruce from last season. i hope we see halluci!bruce again--he is so vicious but so entertaining... so much more effective at tearing dick down than crane or jason combined. goes to show that dick’s biggest enemy is own fucking head.

12.8. oh no! dick’s shot! crane is in the wind with red hood! blackfire is now with the titans! i love it!

honestly this season’s pacing is such a big step up from the last couple. gold star, show.

#titans #titans spoilers #meta #dick grayson #koriand'r #garfield logan #komand'r #conner kent #dawn granger #jason todd #jonathan crane #a byronic cupcake #badass strawberry truffle #manic pixie pop tart #a tragic jalebi

[captainsway]

Different anon from before: to me, englishlady seems like a classic case of Narcissistic Personality Disorder. She’s got this delusion that her opinion is God’s Word, that she’s this perfect little darling who can do no wrong, and the rest of the world aren’t even real people, just two separate hive minds who either agree with her or “hate her for no reason.” She really could benefit from therapy, but she deflects by saying that calling her out on her bullshit is invalidating her disorder.

i don't like to diagnose people and certainly ones i don't know since that's kind of like the whole 'mental illness can be a factor but isn't the cause of bad actions' thing that i say that she constantly misconstrues. whether she displays certain disorders and delusions, i can't say she has anything for sure because i don't know her, i don't care to know her, i don't care about her issues and obvious projection that she does on to anakin and the jedi and fans on tumblr. i ain't paid at all and even if i were i'd just nod and pretend to care lmao. it's really just a classic case of white privilege and a big victim complex that you usually see online imo

i will say, however, that the jedi *do* have a lot of psychotherapeutic practices and she eschews any mentions of that. jedi and their beliefs are highly reflective and influenced by eastern religions and philosophies and she has stated 'real life is not as simple as 'letting go' especially when you have psychological trauma' (direct quote from her). she has mocked meditation and other buddhist practices which is wild to me because meditation and 'mindfulness-based' therapy is literally a part of cognitive behavioural therapy, dialectical behavioural therapy, and just general.... therapy??? this is stuff that they literally use in *actual therapy*. there is a LOT of western therapy practices that are directly FROM buddhism and other eastern philosophies lmao like..... if she had actual therapy would she just tell her doctor they're being abusive when they tell her to reflect on her actions???

meditation doesn't work for everyone. it doesn't work for me lmao. but acting like the jedi are evil and did nothing for anakin when they were p much acting exactly like modern therapists........ is so fucking silly. 'be mindful of your feelings', 'you must accept that change happens', ‘live in the moment’, 'hate leads to suffering', these are all things therapists would tell you but in their own psychology doctor way lmao like i know it sucks having to look at how you're feeling and analysing it and realise that your actions might hurt others but that's literally what needs to happen - and like. crying about how jedi don't have therapy? shows that you don't really know.....??? therapy??? maybe it didn't work for anakin but you have to be honest with your doctor *and yourself* for therapy to work and he sure as shit was not honest and i think the projection with his stans is real as hell

#star wars disk horse

[kurts-still-here]

Nothing Breaks Like A Heart Chapter 1: You Can Close Your Eyes To Things You Don’t Want To See But You Can’t Close Your Heart To Things You Don’t Want To Feel Kurt/ Sebastian FanFiction

Hello everyone and welcome to my new fanfiction. I was thinking of more ways that I could torture Kurt because I love him (it's a weird thing I do and I'm probably projecting my problems onto him in some way) and this was born so I hope you guys enjoy!! It is very sad and angsty but like all my stories it will get a happy ending :)

WARNINGS: One, this is not Blaine or Klaine Friendly and yes I do not like Blaine very much but I'll admit that this is out of character for him. So if you love Blaine and/or Klaine then this is not for you :( Second, this will continue topics such as psychological, mental and physical abuse, illnesses and mental health issues. If you are sensitive to these topics then I would not recommend reading this fanfiction but it is entirely up to you, this is just a heads up:) Third, this is an endgame Kurtbastian story but it is a slowburn and they don't have may interactions at first. This will change though so for the people that do love them, this is for you and for the people that don't then this is not for you :)

Please leave any comments, feedback or questions on here or on AO3 or FanFiction.Net, I love hearing from you guys.

Archive Of Our Own

FanFiction.Net

(And yes, it is very late where I am right now but I needed t get this off my brain so your welcome to any fanfic readers who need something to read. I love you!!)

You Can Close Your Eyes To Things You Don’t Want To See But You Can’t Close Your Heart To Things You Don’t Want To Feel."- Johnny Depp

“What is your problem?”

When Blaine asked this question Kurt could feel his heart shatter into a million pieces. There had once been a time when Blaine thought Kurt was the most wonderful, perfect person in the world. But now… now there was something wrong with him. Something so dreadful and awful, something so repulsive that Blaine was yelling at him.

“Blaine, please.” Kurt begged his boyfriend. He had only seen Blaine get angry like this a handful of times but he knew how physical he could get. “Just calm down and we can talk this out.”

“No, don’t tell me to calm down,” Blaine shouted, making Kurt flinch. “You're keeping something from me. You’re a lying slut.”

“Blaine, you don’t mean that. You’re upset, don’t say stuff like that.” Kurt watched as Blaine closed his eyes and took a deep breath and thought that he was listening to him and was calming himself down. He was wrong though because when Blaine opened his eyes back up, they looked different. Violent and full of anger and resentment.

“Give me your phone,” Blaine demanded, holding out his hand.

“No, why would I do that?” Kurt asked, backing away from Blaine as he walked towards him, his fist clenched. “You don’t own me Blaine, I’m allowed to keep things to myself.”

“You’re acting guilty,” Blaine spat. “What are you hiding from me? You’re cheating on me aren’t you? Who’s it with? Sebastian, Nick, Sam? Who is it?” Blaine yelled. Kurt was now pressed up against the wall in Blaine’s bedroom, tears streaming down his face. Blaine got closer and closer to him until he was pressed up against Kurt, all up in his face.

“I’m not cheating on you and you know it.” Kurt told him and he wasn’t lying. “How could you even think that? Sebastian, Nick and Sam are my friends and they’re yours too, they wouldn’t do that to you. And Sam is straight.”

“Well if you aren’t cheating then why can’t I see your phone?” Blaine asked. Kurt was starting to get light-headed, his mind rushing with thoughts. He had nothing to hide but the fact that Blaine was asking him for his phone so he could look through all his texts and calls didn’t sit well with him. It was basically saying that Blaine didn’t trust him and that hurt him because he had never done anything to Blaine to make him not trust him. But then if he didn’t give Blaine his phone then Blaine would probably hit him and that would hurt even more.

“Because Blaine, it’s my phone. It’s my privacy. I may not have anything to hide from you but I’m not about to let you go through all my conversations just because you’re… upset or jealous. It’s not fair to me,” Kurt told him while avoiding his glare.

“What did you just say to me?” Blaine asked, poking his finger into Kurt’s chest. “You think I’m jealous? You think I’m upset? You don’t think I have any reason to be?”

“You don’t,” Kurt shouted but unlike him Blaine didn’t back away. He stood his guard, fists still clenched, that violent gleam still in his eyes. “I’m dating you and only you. I’m not cheating and I never will, Blaine. I lov… I’m with you.”

“You don’t love me.” Blaine said, lowering his voice to a disappointed whisper. “You can’t say that you love me.”

“No, Blaine that’s not…” Kurt started to defend his choice of words when Blaine punched him. Hard, in his jaw. And it wasn’t just one punch etheir. He knocked Kurt to the floor and when Kurt tried to back away from him, to get his stuff so he could leave before Blaine could cause anymore damage, Blaine striked again.

He took a fist full of Kurt’s sweater as he lifted him up in the air and punched Kurt below his right eye. Kurt’s head snapped to the side and then Blaine threw him down, into the wall causing Kurt to hit his head. The force of him knocking into the wall caused a shelf that had books on it to break and to fall onto Kurt’s face. The edge of one of the books hit Kurt right in the eye while the others hit various parts of his face.

“Blaine,” Kurt choked out. “Please stop, you’re hurting me.” He could barely move and every part of his body burned. The room was spinning, he felt nauseous, his head hurt and his right eye throbbed. What hurt the most was that all the pain was caused by his boyfriend, now probably ex-boyfriend, who used to hold his hand, who used to tell him how much he loved him. Were they even the same people now? Was this the Blaine that he had fallen in love with on the Dalton staircases or was this a different Blaine, jealous and cold-hearted?

“You don’t think I’m hurt Kurt?” Blaine yelled, tears of anger pouring out of his eyes. “You think I wanted to do that to you? I didn’t. I didn’t want to hurt you but you hurt me first. I can’t believe you.”

“Blaine, I don’t even know what I did wrong,” Kurt confessed, his voice barely above a whisper. “You beat me up just because I wouldn’t let you go through my phone? I thought you… I thought you loved me.”

“I thought you loved me too Kurt but it’s obvious that you don’t.” Blaine said, breathing heavily. “You hang out with all these other guys, oblivious to how I feel about it and then you go and act like what you did wasn’t wrong. How could you do that to me? Do you have any idea how you made me feel?”

“I’m sorry,” Kurt told him, even though he knew he had nothing to feel sorry for. He wasn’t going to stop hanging out with his friends just because it made Blaine jealous and Blaine should know that. It wasn’t fair to anyone. “I didn’t mean to make you feel that way but you… you should’ve talked to me about it instead of attacking me out of nowhere. Do you know how that makes me feel? You hurt me Blaine and this isn’t even the first time you’ve hit me. This isn’t you. Why are you acting like this?”

“Get out,” Blaine yelled. “How dare you? You can’t come in here and talk to me like that. You know what you did Kurt and… and I’ll never forgive you. I hate you. You’re nothing but a cheating, lying, fake whore. I’ve been there for you through all of the crap you’ve gone through and this is how you thank me. By acting like I have no reason to do the things I do or to feel the way I feel. Fuck you, get out of my goddamn house now.”

“Blaine, I didn’t mean to…” Kurt started but Blaine cut him off.

“Go,” He said, pointing to the door. “Don’t call me, don’t text me, I’ll call you when I’m ready to talk.”

“No,” Kurt said, hurt. This was Blaine’s last chance and he had blown it. This wasn’t the first time he had yelled at Kurt for no reason, this wasn’t the first time he had hit him. This wasn’t the first time that Blaine had made Kurt feel the way that he was feeling but it was going to be the last time. “You don’t call or text me. I don’t want anything to do with you Blaine. I’m done with you. We’re breaking up. I’ll return all of your possessions that I have to you but we’re through. I won’t tell anyone what you did to me tonight but it’s not for your sake, it’s for mine. You can stay at McKinley or you can go back to Dalton but if you choose to stay then you better stay away from me. Don’t act like you even know me.”

Kurt slowly stood himself up while Blaine stared him down intensely. He finally stood up straight when he felt a joint of pain shoot up his leg and he would’ve fallen back down if he hadn’t had catched himself on Blaine’s table. The pain had come from his right ankle and he looked down at it to see that it seemed to be dangling out of place. He almost puked right there at the disgusting sight but he wanted to get out of there as soon as he could. He carefully limped over to the door where he picked up his bag and opened the door. He turned back to Blaine who was still staring at him, the violent gleam in his eyes gone and instead he looked hurt and lost. Kurt wasn’t fooled though, Blaine was obviously acting. Trying to guilt Kurt into feeling bad for him so he would admit he was wrong because again, Blaine had tricked him like that before. Kurt didn’t feel guilty, he was the victim here. If anything Blaine should feel guilty and the fact that Kurt knew he didn’t broke Kurt even more.

“Goodbye Blaine,” Kurt said, coldly before he limped out of the door. He continued making his way out of Blaine’s house and when he made his way outside he realized that Blaine had picked him up from his house so Kurt didn’t have a ride home. What made his situation even worse was that it was pouring rain outside and Kurt didn’t have a jacket or an umbrella.

He would’ve called someone, Sebastian or Finn but he knew that he wouldn’t be able to tell them that he needed to be picked up without bursting into tears on the spot. He knew that the truth would have to come out eventually but he wanted to stall for as long as possible. He was going to keep his word and wasn’t going to tell anyone that it was Blaine who had beat him up but he needed time to come up with a lie, an excuse to protect his ex-boyfriend. It made him feel sick that he was protecting Blaine after what he had done to him. But then he realized that he was actually going to be sick and with that, ignoring the pain in his foot and all other parts of his body, he quickly ran away from Blaine’s front yard and threw up in the street. He tasted the blood that came up as he heaved and eventually fell down onto his hands and knees. He held his stomach as he continued to throw up until there was nothing left inside of him.

He was breathing heavily and was practically begging himself to keep it together and to not cry until he got, however that was going to happen. It wasn’t that far of a walk from Blaine’s house to his house but Kurt’s ankle was snapped and he felt so drained and faint. He slowly stood himself up again and clutching his bag in his hands, limped his way home. He looked down at his phone to see that it was already ten at night and seeing that it would probably take him an hour to get home, his family would probably be freaking out in about fifteen minutes. He was not looking forward to the many calls and texts that he would start to receive so he put his phone on silent and tried to focus on just getting to his destination.

He cleared his mind, feeling the cold rain fall on his face and the wind breezing around him. It was freezing, just something else to add to his nightmare. Wait no, not thinking about that right now, he needed to rid it from his mind. No thinking of Blaine or his dad or Finn or Sam. But then again everyone would eventually find out that they had broken up and of course Blaine would act like the victim and everyone would turn their backs on him. And when he got home and his dad saw the state that he was in, he would either have another heart attack or would demand to know who it was so he could shoot them with his shotgun. There would be the police and the ambulance and god, he did not want to go to the hospital no matter how much pain he was in. He would be much better off resting in his own comfy bed with his own pajamas on, not in some smelly, hospital bed with an itchy hospital gown on. All he needed was some sleep and some aspirin and maybe an ankle brace for his foot. Well, there went not thinking about it.

So while his mind was drifting through all the different reactions he would get from everyone he decided to focus on the one person he wanted the most right now, Sebastian. Sebastian was his best friend and if Kurt was going to tell anyone what had happened (which he was heavily debating on at the moment) then it would be him. Sure, Sebastian would be angry and upset and would want to go and kick Blaine’s ass but Kurt knew that once he told Sebastian that he didn’t want that, Sebastian would listen to him, which was more than he could say for anybody else. Sebastian would instead, cuddle in bed with Kurt and would comfort him whether Kurt needed or wanted to be comforted or not. Sebastian was a good friend and was the person that Kurt trusted the most.

That person used to be Blaine but as time went on, Blaine lost Kurt’s trust more and more. And now it was non-existent. Kurt didn’t even know what he had done wrong except apparently spending too much time with other guys but if that’s really all he did then Blaine was a hypocrite. How many times had he sat there at the Lima Bean while Blaine flirted with Nick and Sebastian, who knew that he was with Blaine and who knew how much it bothered Kurt. Nick and Sebastian weren’t even into Blaine, they simply had a platonic friendship but yet Blaine would stare at them with heart eyes and would tell stupid, cheesy jokes, trying to flirt. Yet Kurt spent time with Finn, Sam, Puck and the rest of the straight New Direction males and hung out with Nick, Sebastian, Jeff, Trent, Wes and David who were all just his friends and Blaine went and threw a fit. He blew everything out of proportion and made Kurt the bad guy. He was jealous of all the friends Kurt had when he knew how hard it had been for Kurt to acquire them in the first place and took it out on him. Blaine didn’t trust Kurt enough that he had demanded that Kurt give him his phone and when he had refused. Blaine had beaten the crap out of him. He thought Blaine was different but he was just like the other bullies that Kurt had endured crap from all his life and the worst part of all was that Kurt had thought that Blaine loved him. And Kurt thought that he had loved Blaine back. Well, he was wrong and he felt so stupid for thinking that anyone could truly love him. Maybe Blaine was right, maybe he was nothing. Because if his boyfriend could truly hate him, could hurt him both physically and emotionally in the way that he did when Blaine was known to everyone as one of the most gentle, caring people in the world then he must’ve done something wrong. Maybe he was wrong for hanging out with other boys but then again it didn’t matter now because they were broken up and Kurt was never going back to him no matter how lonely or unloved he felt. Blaine wasn’t worth it anymore.

Kurt continued making his way home, now just thinking about the sounds he heard. The cars, the wind, the rain, the animals. It was calming and peaceful and it helped him to remember to breathe. He eventually saw his house, dimly lit by the streetlights and quickened his pace a little so he could finally get home and could face everyone. He wasn’t ready but it wasn’t like he had any other options and he really needed to sit down, take some pain reliever and sleep. Change out of his clothes, take a nice, warm shower, washing all the blood off of him, tend to his injuries and wrap himself up in a blanket. He would probably stay in his bed all weekend if everyone let him, which hopefully he did because he needed it.  

He reached his doorsteps and fished the keys out of his damp pocket before opening the door. All the lights were still on and he could tell that the television was on in the living room. Ignoring the footsteps that he heard, probably coming to see him, Kurt went into the kitchen, getting a wet paper towel and dabbing his face with it. Usually Kurt would never use such a rough material on his skin but it’s not like using a paper towel was going to make him look any worse than he already did.

He sat down on a chair and leaned forward, feeling faint, and put his face in his hands. He heard the footsteps grow louder and louder until they finally reached the kitchen and he heard a collective gasp. He didn’t turn around, didn’t show him that he actually looked worse than they thought and kept hiding his face in his palms, the first tears starting to form in his eyes. He hadn’t cried since everything had happened and there was no more trying to prevent it from happening. His body shook as the crying took over him and he felt arms wrap him up and embrace him. He looked up and saw that it was Sam while his dad, Carol and Finn stood in the doorway with their mouths wide open.

“What the hell happened?” He heard his dad and Finn ask at the same time and Kurt was asking himself the same thing. He didn’t answer them though, just sat at the table continuing to cry while Sam held him. He was in for a rough week.

#glee #glee fanfiction #kurt hummel #sebastian smythe #kurtbastian #lol blaine #lol klaine #not blaine or klaine friendly #please spread this by reblogging #good day/night everyone

[evolutionsvoid]

If one has read through my previous entries on Slimes, you should know by now that they are an incredibly adaptable and versatile species. Though they are just a heart and a pseudobody, their special signals and incredible slime allow them to create a variety of shapes and forms. From sticky Flayers who cover themselves in adhesive goo and bone shards, to volatile Fire Slimes that secrete flammable liquids and use gathered flint to light it all aflame! It is no surprise that this species has thrived and spread for so long! However, at times this versatility can lead to some issues. Like any other beast, Slimes are susceptible to parasites, disease and the ravages of time. Horrible things that can mess with their minds and hijack their signals. When a Slime is struck by one of these terrible fates, you either wish for a speedy recovery or a merciful death. Cruel as it sounds, things can become a real problem when these illnesses choose to linger. Be it parasite or virus, one can take over the form of a Slime and turn them into something even worse. I have written about Slime Dragons before, and how those abominations come to be. To quickly recap, Slime colonies tend to have buried networks of elder hearts that aid in reproduction and knowledge transfer. Slimes can physically connect to these networks to share nutrients, information or transfer their young. In most cases, these networks get along just fine, but age can start to wear on the oldest of hearts. As the decades pass by, an elder heart may start to degrade and fail. Most cases end with these dying organs being put of their misery and absorbed, but there are rare instances where the network is too late in realizing this weakness. In extreme cases, a fading heart may start to produce a "rotted signal," a droning message that is simple and infectious. Slimes use signals generated by their hearts to control their goo and communicate with others. They can share signals with one another without a problem, but rotted signals are not so kind. Due to their nature, these signals are capable of overwriting the signals of other Slimes and causing their hearts to pump out the same infectious message. All Slimes who come in contact with an infected heart or pseudobody will be hijacked and added to the collective. Slime Dragons are beasts that can result from a rotted signal taking over, but they are only one outcome for this dire situation. You see, a rotted signal is not just gibberish or useless noise, it often is a normal message that a Slime would use that has become corrupted. For Slime Dragons, the signal that births them is the same signal Slimes use when they are hungry or look to feed. It is a blaring message to consume that takes them over and creates this gluttonous monstrosity. So that means a different signal can lead to a different outcome, which is where the Slime's versatility takes a cruel turn. For each type of rotted signal, their is a corresponding abomination that is born from it, and each is specially equipped to bring a whole lot of misery and destruction. The diseased amalgamation I wish to write about today is known as the Mind Sink. While it is a network that has succumbed to an infection like a Slime Dragon, it is quite different from those slithering, hungering brutes. Their congealed and hardening slime will form skittering legs, and a bizarre frame. While its outside has grown dark and thickened by the corrupted fusion of so many Slimes, within this brittle cage will form a gooey writhing core. Here is where the infested hearts lie, and from there comes a multitude of flailing tendrils and snaring tentacles. I imagine it is a freaky sight to behold, and one I have thankfully never witnessed! The Mind Sink is one of these abominations I am most disturbed by, as it hungers for something more than flesh! The signal that becomes corrupted is the one Slimes will use to transfer knowledge to one another. It is a message that kind of says "can I copy your notes?" which the other Slime will agree to and they will share their information. When it grows foul, though, this message does not ask for permission. Rather, it becomes more of theft than a collaboration, as the infested Slimes mindlessly drain the information out of the victim. Slimes that are caught by these serpentine limbs will immediately be linked to the corrupted network and they will begin to draw out all their knowledge. In moments, the Slime will be emptied of all their information and thoughts, and will instead start to pump out the rotted signal. They will be pulled into the core and will join their infested brethren, ready to seek out the next victim. I know some may think that it is a rough process for the Slimes, and to that I must make a correction. It is a rough process for everyone, because the Mind Sink does not just prey on its own. 

It has been thought that the signals from a Slime's heart shares some similarities with the signals our brains create. While that is a whole field of study and wondering I am not well versed in, I can say that Mind Sink has given us a bit of confirmation on that. Mind Sinks not only hunger for the knowledge of their fellow Slimes, but they will target other creatures as well. Doesn't matter if it is man, beast or thinking plant, if it has a brain or a similar organ, it wants inside. Non-Slimes who are seized by a Mind Sink's arms will be entangled and immobilized in its grip. Coils of slime will pin their limbs in a cocoon, and slithering tendrils will seek out the source of the victim's thoughts. They somehow have a way of pinpointing the location of the brain and, once they do, they find the quickest way to access it. The point of entry is usually a facial orifice, be it nose, mouth, ears or eyes. They will burrow to the brain and the corrupted goop will make physical contact. From there, it will hijack the signals and quickly learn how to manipulate the organ, giving it access to their memories, knowledge and life experiences. With the mental feast now ready, the Mind Sink will say "I will have everything!" and start to drain. So far it has not been found if there is any order to what it consumes first, or if there is any logic behind it. Like a whirlpool, it just sucks in whatever it can. The mind will be siphoned away by this hungering mass, and the victim is quite powerless to do anything about it. When your brain is taken over by a gooey monstrosity, you aren't exactly in the right state of mind to fight back. Due to the difference between Slimes and species like us, the brain draining process takes much longer. Think of it like trying to transcribe an entire book in a language you don't understand. Yeah, you can do it by just copying the symbols, but it will take you longer. It appears that it takes a few minutes for a fleshy or plant-based victim to be fully emptied, and then they will simply be tossed aside. Those that fall to this awful fate will not have much of a mind left. Memories will be gone, any knowledge or skills they had will be wiped out and their own thoughts will be a scrambled mess due to the brutal takeover their brain experienced. Most become comatose, while some may flop around like a fish and babble nonsense. It is a truly horrible thing, and a cure or remedy has yet to be found.   Due to how much longer it takes to fully feed off a victim, one can be saved from the grasp of a Mind Sink before they are truly lost. If one can sever the tendril that holds the prisoner and cut them off from the network, the slime will collapse in a useless heap. The connection with their brain will end and so will the drain. It should be noted that freeing a victim from a hungering tendril is just the first step, because the Mind Sink has a dozen more and it will be eager to reclaim its prize. Best to grab them the second they are let go and run as fast as you can! Severing this link before the mind can be fully consumed is certainly a good thing, but damages will still occur. It depends on how long they were being fed on, as that decides how much was removed from the brain. Those that were held for only a few moments won't notice too much of a difference after they have rested and recovered, but some things will certainly be lost. Probably a handful of distant memories and mental tidbits were taken, but they won't notice their absence right away. Those fed upon for longer will have patchy memory loss, temporary issues with physical functions and scattered thoughts. It will be like someone took the book of their life and ripped out random pages. Thankfully, the book will mostly remain, so that means recovery is possible. Physical therapy will be required for any functions that were damaged by the hijacking, and the mind will need some help too. Not only will they need to relearn lost skills and forgotten memories, but their mind will need to recoup as well. Meditation, therapy and other calming activities are needed to help them stabilize their thoughts and reorganize their scattered mental archives. Recovery is not the fastest thing, but time and patience will help heal the wounds and fill the gaps torn in their heads. No doubt now that it has become obvious that Mind Sinks are incredibly dangerous and need to be exterminated whenever they rise. These are diseased amalgamations that will cause untold damage and tragedy as long as they are alive, and there does not seem to be any peaceful way to resolve their rampage. Like Slime Dragons, the way to bring down these monstrosities is to target the original heart that is creating the rotted signal. That is where the signal is originating from, and the other hearts are merely mimicking it. Kill the source and the others will soon fall silent, causing the fusion to fall apart. When it perishes, all the other Slimes are set free, but they won't be the same as they were before they were assimilated. All the knowledge they had was taken by the Mind Sink, and where all that information goes is quite random. As far as we know, all that it absorbs is held in a condensed mess of noise and thoughts that is shared by all the consumed hearts. Its mind eating abilities may make it seem like it can take memories and knowledge then use them against their foes, but that isn't the case. They do not weaponize what they take, they don't even seem to pay the stolen information any mind. Their own mind is like a garbage can, and anything they get their tendrils on is just chucked inside without a second thought. They don't want to use it or interpret it, they just want it. So with all this knowledge shoved into one mangled ball of mental energy, there is no telling what belongs to who or who belongs to what! When the Mind Sink is terminated, all that knowledge is fractured and dumped randomly into the freed hearts. The Slimes who emerge from the collapsed amalgamation will have a stew of memories and thoughts that are not their own. Some will be completely different from before, while some will be fumbling with the fractured mess they have been given. Not only will they be mixed up with their own selves, but there can also be a whole bunch of information that was stolen from non-Slimes that is now stuck in them! Some may be in bits and pieces, while some Slimes can have whole chunks of a person's life inside them! There is a tale that has gone around about a monster slayer going out to kill a rampaging Mind Sink. He failed to defeat the beast and was consumed by it, but eventually someone brought it down. What was brought back to his family was an empty shell, and they cared for him in this comatose state. The family prayed that one day he would get better, that somehow his mind and faculties would return. One morning, his wife heard someone walking around the house and his voice started to call for her. Believing that a miracle had been granted, she rushed to him only to find him still in his bed and still in a coma. What walked in to greet her in her husband's voice was a Slime, who had somehow wound up with a big chunk of his memories and personality. I personally don't think this story is true, because the ending to this tale has several different versions. Some say she took the Slime as a replacement for her husband, while others say she killed it in horror on the spot. I have heard some say that the Slime returned all the memories to the comatose husband and he was cured, but that one is certainly fake. It would be nice if that could happen, but Slimes are incapable of putting things into our heads like that. Our minds are like colorful sandpaintings, and the Mind Sink just reached in and yanked out handfuls of it. Can you just take those fistfuls and put them back so easily? I say that about returning memories and how that is impossible, but then I remember that there is an exception to that: the Slimes themselves. While they can come out all scrambled, it is possible for the Slimes to rearrange themselves back into facsimiles of their old selves. Slimes can already transfer stuff to one another, so they could puzzle out what parts belong to who and then sort them out. I have no clue how you can tell if a memory is yours or not, but then again, I don't have the ability to copy and share my brain (I wish I did, though! It would make teaching so much easier)! So Slimes can return what was lost between them, but they will still wind up with pieces of non-Slime information. What they do with this is unknown and up to who wields it, but some believe that Slimes have gained portions of their knowledge by recovering stolen thoughts from a Mind Sink. Supposedly an ancient Mind Sink fed upon human settlements and was finally slain, and the Slimes that emerged claimed all the knowledge and skills of its victims. Could it have happened? Maybe. Do I believe it? No, because I do not like the light it paints Slimes in. The theory is essentially saying they stole all their knowledge and wisdom from others, and proposes that they couldn't have come across this any other way. Seems more like it is derogatory towards Slimes than it is trying to learn more about them. Doesn't help that the people I have met who believe this theory have all kind of been jerks towards Slimes. After all this talk about Mind Sinks and their horrific abilities, I bet some think that I can offer tips on how to kill one. In truth, I got nothing. Take out the original rotted heart and the rest falls apart. How do you do that? Not really my department there. I am a researcher not a warrior, and I personally don't want to be anywhere near one of these things. As someone who has spent years learning and seeking knowledge, the concept of a brain-sucking monster is absolutely terrifying to me. All my experiences, all my work drained away in minutes, reducing me to a mindless vegetable! No thank you! I like my thoughts right where they are, and I got enough of a scatter brain already! The only way I want to share my knowledge is through my writings and teachings! Read my life's work, don't yank it out of my skull! Speaking of that, I better watch my tongue. Enough talk about a mind-wiping monster and Eucella might hire one and sic it on me. It would be way easier to chop up my writings and sell a book if I was brainless idiot! Chlora Myron Dryad Natural Historian - You know I read these, right? This is not helping your case in the slightest. And also you might want to drop the "if" and change the "was" on the brainless idiot part.     - Eucella - ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Slimes, Slimes, I love Slimes!      

#slime #slimes #goop #goo #monster #creature #brain #art #drawing

[mellometal]

Here are the last few things I want to say about Dhar Mann. Because he's not a good person to support and I cannot believe people support him unironically.

I was misguided to an extent in my first response to him on the video he made about ASD. The whole complimenting him thing in my comments was only to ensure that my comments would not be deleted and that I wouldn't get blocked. That's why it sounded like I was sucking up to him in some parts of my comments. I actually WANT people to see them. I would hope at least SOMEONE would resonate with them in some way. I want people to see how videos about subjects he knows NOTHING about and probably will NEVER know about can and do affect people. I don't think he's a good person. At all.

Dhar Mann's videos reek of wannabe superiority. There are some things that people have brought up about him having a savior complex on Reddit, but I don't want to go into the entire psychological aspect of him...if such a thing exists. I may find psychology interesting, but he's not worth going into a whole psychological analysis over. I'm not licensed to do any kind of diagnoses on him anyway.

His morals are extremely watered down with quotes that even kids in preschool can understand. It honestly feels like he's talking down to his audience. (Why does he have an audience? The world may never know.) Dude, NOBODY appreciates being talked down to like they're stupid.

While sometimes, it's obvious that he's trying to come from a good place, it still doesn't change the fact that he doesn't go into WHY the events that happen in the videos are bad, what we can do to change it, nothing. I don't recall him putting down any reputable resources for anything he makes. If he has, it must be like finding Atlantis. For example, in his videos that are supposed to be tackling homelessness, he only goes into the whole narrative that we gotta be nice to homeless people. He never goes into the factors that cause homelessness. He never goes into any statistics. He doesn't share any reputable resources for the homeless population. Just goes into, "Be kind to homeless people!" and nothing else.

Another big example would have to be the videos he has made about disabilities. He seemed to KINDA tackle physical disabilities, but here's the thing. Physically disabled people aren't all helpless victims. Yes, some physically disabled people do require full support doing things. There are other physically disabled people who require moderate support, or even minimal support. Treating physically disabled people like they're just all helpless victims who you should feel bad for isn't helping them at all. They're not subhuman. They're human beings.

The video he made about Autism Spectrum Disorder is personally insulting. Treating ASD like it's a superpower harms autistic people and it honestly sounds like autistic people aren't being taken seriously. Calling ASD a "different ability" instead of calling it a disability (which is what ASD is) treats being autistic like it's a bad thing. (For anyone who found me through my first Dhar Mann post about his video on ASD, y'all already know my feelings about this. For anyone who's new here, doesn't know what's going on, and wants to know where I stand on that video in particular, please refer to that post.)

Like an anonymous person mentioned in the ask they sent earlier, Dhar Mann also made a video that was pro-cop. I knew about the video he made about a bunch of cops in training being sexist towards the only woman, which obviously ain't great either. I've seen that one and it made absolutely no sense to me. Dhar Mann, defeating sexism? *GASP!* We did it, feminists! We can go home now! Not.

Anyways, back to the pro-cop video. I didn't know that he made a video like that, so I searched for it. It was a pretty recent video too...and it's gross. The lady protesting in an alley really shouted in eight point font to "fire all cops". It took some guy stealing her purse for her to "change her mind" about cops.

The "cop" in the video really went into his whole life story about how he risks his life every day for people, fighting bad people (they even had a black man as the assailant trying to threaten a white woman, which is a disgusting racist stereotype and does nothing to help stop police brutality), and basically told this lady "Before you judge me, get to know ME!"

MOTHERFUCKER. FIREFIGHTERS, PARAMEDICS, AND THE ENTIRE MEDICAL FIELD, TO NAME A FEW, RISK THEIR LIVES EVERY DAY TOO. But you don't see a song that says "Fuck the fire department!" or "Fuck paramedics!", do you? (I have some choice words for parts of the medical field because of how some think it's okay to refuse to help people for being LGBT, not taking BIPOC seriously when they seek medical attention, refusing to help people for the religion they practice or lack thereof, the fatphobia, etc. I won't dive completely into it, but if you choose to be in the medical field and you refuse to help people for the color of their skin, their sexual orientation, their gender identity, their religious beliefs or lack thereof, their weight, or ANYTHING along those lines, FIND A DIFFERENT CAREER.)

Police brutality towards black people is the highest out of every race. Not to mention that black people are the number one target for the police. The amount of black people being killed by the police will only keep increasing unless we all do something to put an end to police brutality towards black people. Black lives matter, and they ALWAYS will.

Can we also talk about how the police aren't equipped to deal with anything related to mental health or disabilities? Because the way they handle people having mental health crises, disabled people, and mentally ill people as a whole is heartless and ableist. AND THEY HAVE THE NERVE TO PUT ON THEIR VEHICLES THAT THEY'RE SAFE FOR DISABLED PEOPLE AND SHIT IN CERTAIN PLACES IN THE UNITED STATES.

Just because there are good cops, it doesn't make ALL cops good. It doesn't change the fact that ACAB. It doesn't change the fact that the police has way too much funding. It doesn't change the fact that the police need to be reformed. Honestly, in this day and age, there are way too many corrupt cops who want to be all superior and treat people like they're subhuman to see any good cops among them.

I did a little research on Dhar Mann's history before he decided to do all these fucking cringe videos. He was sentenced to five years of probation back in 2014 for five felony counts related to a scheme to defraud the City [Oakland, California] by submitting false claims and receipts in order to receive redevelopment grant money. He pleaded no contest to the five felony counts of fraud. Not a good look!

His voice is ear grating and crusty and he has a very punchable face. Every time I hear his voice, it triggers my fight or flight response.

HEEEEYYYY, DHAR MANN FAM! SO YOU SEE, HE MAKES ALL THESE CRINGE ASS VIDEOS WITH WATERED DOWN MORALS THAT HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH THE TOPICS OF ANY OF THE VIDEOS AND REEK OF WANNABE SUPERIORITY! I hope you learned something from this message! He's not telling stories. He's not changing lives. He's a cringe ass nae-nae baby who can't bother to do actual research on topics he knows NOTHING about. He's ruining lives! Thanks for watching and I'll see you next time!

TL;DR: Dhar Mann is a piece of shit human being. Please stop supporting him.

#mello speaks #dhar mann talk #dhar mann will live to regret his decision to make these fucked up cringe videos #tw police brutality #tw murder mention #black lives matter and will always matter #all cops are bastards #tw racial violence mention #please stop supporting dhar mann #dhar mann #dhar mann is a piece of human garbage #tw dhar mann

[linkspooky]

Hi, I’m Link and it’s time to talk about my terrible / horrible / amazing taste in men. If you are a bastard who is planning to destroy the world because of your unresolved trauma, please call me. Kiss kiss.

Also I’m tagging @thyandrawrites​ and @inumaqi​ who by law have to do this with me. 

Shigaraki Tomura - MY HERO ACADEMIA

“What I really despise is everything. Everything that breathes pisses me off.”

I like how Shigaraki is severely mentally ill. He’s one of the most raw portrayals of an abuse victim.  He murders his abusive father, and the story takes his side. He develops violent tendencies, he refuses to grow up, he can’t forgive. He’s just holding all of his negative feelings inside of him as he slowly rots inside out, and that’s just great.

Shigaraki is so shaped and moulded by his abuse, but he still chooses who he wants to be. He was literally raised in a basement to be a carbon copy of AFO, and yet he’s so different from AFO it’s obvious he could never live up to his Sensei. He’s too bad of a person to ever be a hero, but he’s also too good of a person to ever be the king of evil and what you get is this really chaotic mess in between.

It’s interested to see who Shigaraki chooses to be, in spite of how much he has been indoctrinated towards a cause and how many choices are taken away from him. Despite being a character with supposedly little agency you can see he always tries to fight for his own agency. Don’t deny me. He can’t be with his family even though he loves them, because they’ll never accept him for who he is. Tenko was a kind boy who played with the bullied kids. Shigaraki fights for the people who would never be saved by hero society because he wasn’t saved. He gives them what he doesn’t have, freedom and a place to belong. It’s an interesting character to see how much of him has become the unpredictable ball of trauma that Shigaraki is, while the core of him Tenko still remains in his humanizing moments of how he interacts with the league. Shigaraki who has so many choices taken from him, chooses to reach out and sympathize with the feelings of others, especially those who have been ostracized the same way he has.

Shigaraki is introduced to us as an inhuman  monster, and we see him slowly work his way back from the edge. We see him regain his humanity by coming to care about the people under his wing. It gives you the message that there’s no such thing as a point of no return.

All of the heroes are good people in mha but that feels more like an informed character trait. We’re supposed to root for them because… they’re the heroes, they’re good. They have to look good because they’re the good guys. Shigaraki is allowed to be ugly and unlikable, he gets worse.  But then he still always chooses to fight for ugly victims like him. I like both sides of him, I like the volatile explosive bomb that just wants to blow up and destroy others, and the gentle way he interacts with the rest of the league.

Kumagawa Misogi - MEDAKA BOX

“I want to beat them. Even though I’m not cool, or strong, or just, or beautiful, or cute, or pretty, I want to beat the cool strong just beautiful cute and pretty people.”

Kumagawa is aggressively mediocre. He’s a good for nothing.  He’s like the embodiment of a bad victim,  he blames everyone else, he lashes out. He has nothing but flaws but he still strives to be better than what he is. That’s what so inspiring about his character. Even if you’re miserable it doesn’t mean you have to be having a miserable time about it. Kumagawa will push back against anything, even if the whole world is pushing down on his shoulders.

He has a vibe with his character that even if you’re the worst person in the world don’t run away from who you are. You have to accept yourself exactly as you are without lies or artifice before you can start to improve.  That’s why kumagawa tries to accept the ugliness of people.

He’s very sympathetic with other people, but that isn’t there to make him look like a good person. If anything he always sympathizes with the victim too much and encourages their worst qualities.  At the beginning of the series hes so desperate to heal the wounds of these traumatized, people he’s taken in he just encourages them to lash out because that’s something. Kumagawa is just this very nihilistic, and fatalist character who is somehow at the same time one of the most optimistic characters ever written. He’s a lazy good for nothing, but he tries hard. He’s fickle and childish, but he never gives up. He might never get better, he might always lose in the end, but he still thinks the struggle to win is always inherently worth it. He gives all of himself in everything he does, and to the people around him. And he always gets hurt because of it, but that pain is just living.

He’s completely insane but he’s also living his life the best way he can. There’s just such a manic, insane, and positive energy to his character. Kumagawa will accept you at your worst, and yet he’ll still encourage you to be better. I also like characters written to represent the ugliness in people, and striving to find beauty in that ugliness rather than characters who are just happy all the time because they’re good people.

Natsuki Subaru - RE ZERO

“You think I’m getting drunk on my own tragedy just so I can shut everyone up?”

like how Subaru is a shitty person but not in a really interesting way,  but in a really petty, self absorbed and weak way. I like it because the world doesn’t tolerate his bs, he is continually punished and kicked in the teeth for it. He doesn’t have a tragic backstory before the story begins. His tragic backstory is that he did nothing, made nothing of his life, but he still feels entitled and expects to be rewarded. There’s nothing special about him, but he wants to be treated like he’s special.

I’m usually protagonist-phobic because most stories center around the main character so a lot of the time the world bends to their whims in unnatural ways. Subaru is the main character, but hes not the protagonist, and not even particularly important which is why he’s valid.

Subaru is continually  punished for his mistakes and I love the way we see how trauma changes him and shapes him.  His narrative  reads to me as a metaphor for a mentally ill person with the absolute worst habits constantly struggling to be better despite constant backtracking. That’s why with the constant resets in his narrative, none of his actions ever seem to matter. Even when he makes progress he loses it just as quickly, and the world seems indifferent to his suffering. Because the stroy isn’t actually about the world, it’s about Subaru’s personal journey to learn to be a less shitty person.

Subaru is confronted with the fact that hes a very self important and entitled person and he chooses to grow from that rather than run away. He’s so self aware by this point he knows hes the most annoying human on earth and he owns it.

Doma - KIMETSU NO YAIBA

“From a young age I was kind and clever. I always helped people and made them happy, because that was my mission.”

Doma’s story is hard to empathize with because it doesn’t really look tragic. It’s more like a comedy. He’s smiling the whole way through.

Doma feels like an inhuman monster and he chooses to act that way. Literally everything in this story just tells you he was basically born that way. Doma tells you himself. But like, if you look into his background he was raised in a literal cult. Doma despises the cult, because he could see through it. He could see the adults were using him even as a child. But at the same time Doma’s heart has never really left the cult either. Doma, like everybody else, unintentionally reflects the environment he grew up in.

Doma’s just never been shown real tears or a real smile, so he doesn’t know it. He sees his parents kill each other in front of them, and feels nothing, because they literally never acted like parents to him once. He sees life as empty because to him, it is. And then.

By the time he encounters the real thing it’s too late for him. I just like this part of Doma that’s like, emptily trying to imitate all the other humans around him, and feel the things they feel, and always falling short because of his jacked up sense of empathy. It’s adorable.   Doma doesn’t feel human at all. He couldn’t possibly understand what a normal human being feels because he’s never lived that life. He’s a total human failure. Rather than try to be something he feels like he’s not, he decides to embrace his inhumanity.

Iichan - ZAREGOTO

“Nonsense.”

Iichan is a character who doesn’t want to choose, but wants to be chosen regardless. In other words Iichan has a paradoxical way of thinking about his life. He’s not the main character. He’s not important. So therefore, whatever happens around him he’s not at fault. However, he is the centerpiece of a tragedy. He’s still important in the sense that all of this tragic suffering is being unleashed upon him. Being the main character of the tragedy means his suffering is important and meaningful, but none of it is ever his fault, and he can’t help it.

That way he avoids ever having to take responsiblity for his actions, or do the hard work of trying to change as a person. He’s a narcicisst, but he hates himself, and he tries to balance out his total egoism by constantly playing up his own suffering and how much he loathes himself. That’s where the main character of the tragedy complex comes in.

What’s interesting about Iichan is that for all the tricks and avoidance he goes through, he’s very self aware as a character. He knows how deficient he is in comparison to others and how his problems really aren’t as important in the grand scheme of things. That’s why it’s interesting to watch all the mental gymnastics he goes through.

Knowing that the author also knows that Iichan is a tool, and clearly frames him as such, I can appreciate the more positive parts of his character. I can know that deep down, despite everything he does want to become a person that’s capable of making the other people in his life happy. He just doesn’t know how.

Hitoshiki Zerozaki - NINGEN

“What a riot.”

Iichan’s equal and opposite force. His boy on the other side of the mirror. What if your reflection in the mirror could talk, and what if it was laughing at you? That’s basically Zerozaki’s character in a nutshell.

Iichan is a character who dwells on his intense mediocrity and desires to be special because of it. Zerozaki is the opposite, he’s been special all of his life and has no idea what a normal life is even like.

Zerozaki is a murderer from a family of murderers and yet he doesn’t enjoy murder. He doesn’t feel its evil or feel a lot of remorse. He feels nothing at all about killing,  he thinks people who kill for pleasure are weird, and kills at random.

What I like about Zerozaki is that he’s way more human and down to earth than his perfect foil iichan even though he’s a murderer. Despite being a psycho killer he makes connections with other killers, his little sister, and ninoumiya. A human failure who’s way too human, and that somehow makes him even more of a failure.

Emiya Shirou / Heroic Spirit Emiya - FATE / STAY NIGHT.

“So as I pray. Unlimited Blade Works.”

Counterfeit. Hypocrite. Holy shit. A fake who knows that his desire to save people doesn’t come from the goodness of his heart, but his own selfish desire to be a hero. Shirou emiya is the only valid protagonist, because he’s an extremely traumatized deconstruction of every protagonist before him. Shirou’s not a good person. Shirou’s barely even a person. He has friends but he doesn’t really feel like he deserves to have them. He smiles, but he doesn’t mean it.

I love how Shirou is so terrible at handling his own trauma that he thinks having a strong sense of justice is a personality.  I love how Shirous need to sacrifice himself makes him an idiot and is something his narrative continually gruesomely punishes. He has one of the most brutal narratives ever, and the writing behind his character serves to highlight how Shirou’s bad decision making not only hurts himself, but literally everybody around him.

I love how Shirou has completely emptied out as a person and feels unable to feel basic emotions because its totally relatable.  He just copes so poorly, but at the same time there’s something beautiful in Shirous struggle to be a good person. Shirou has completely given up on himself as a person, but he still wants to help other people, and so he keeps trying.

Getou Suguru - JUJUTSU KAISEN

“I hate monkeys.”

Some villains just want to destroy everything for reasons deeply rooted to emotional trauma. I feel like I’m repeating myself here.

I like characters where empathy is a dangerous quality to have. Getou is driven to villainy because he cares, overwhelmingly so. He cares about people’s individual agency and freedom and rights to be happy and sees the world stomp on it. His breaking point was that he wanted a girl who had been raised as a literal human sacrifice for the system her entire life to be able to live out the rest of her life free as a person, and being completely powerless and unable to help her as she was killed. Getou was struck in that moment by the inherent unfairness in the world and it broke him.

Empathy is such a debilitating flaw for Getou that he literally has to decide certain people  are human and disqualify others from being human so his brain doesn’t completely break. Being a decent caring guy in Getous world breaks you.

Getou tries so hard not to care,  to be the maniacal laughing villain he claims to be, but his empathy is the one part of his brain he can never shut off. Even as the most hated man in the world he protects weak and exploited people and takes them in as a family. He does everything he does to make a better world for the people he cares about, and that’s why he’s so broken because the ones he doesn’t care about he’s completely fine with sacrificing en masse.

Akechi Goro - PERSONA 5

“JUSTICE?! RIGHTEOUS?! KEEP THAT SHIT TO YOURSELVES! YOU AND YOUR TEAMMATES PISS ME OFF!!”

I like Goro way more for his potential rather than what we see in canon, but there’s a lot of strong ideas his character is written with. I love the idea that Goro wants to be a good person, wants to be connected to others, but is far too dmaged and because of that

He can only pretend to be a good person and play people pleaser to others. he’s someone who desires at the core of his being to be righteous, and failing that he becomes self-righteous instead. I just love how thoroughly fake he is as a person, and how that makes him covet the real thing.

I also love the insane, twisted and obsessive part of Akechi. I love how much he hates the world for rejecting him, and how much of his actions are just petty revenge on the world, his father, every single person who rejected him. I love him when he’s at his most desperate, when he’s screaming at the people he’s trying to kill asking them why nobody wants him around even though he’s famous and popular.

Ogata Hyakunosuke - GOLDEN KAMUY

Walk your own wild path. Straight and true.

Ogata is a character that is somehow incredibly complex and nuanced character with tons of carefully written development in story, and also a character you have no fucking clue what’s going on in his head. Basically, Ogata is a masterpiece.

Ogata feels like the other half of the story. Sugimoto acts,  Ogata reacts.  Sugimoto chases, Ogata evades.  We are uncomfortably deep in Sugimotos head, but we only catch brief glimpses of Ogatas moments of Frank honesty. The entire story is about Sugimoto and Ogata chaisng after each other and everything else seems incidental sometime. Ogata’s not the main character, but he’s the other half of the heart of the narrative that’s about these really, really bad murderous men who are deeply broken trying to find a way to live in a world without war.

Its not that Ogata is unfeeling it’s that he never allows himself to feel. What other characters lost during the war, Ogata never had in the first place. He sees himself as deformed and malnourished compared to everybody else. Ogatas always been noticing the difference between - himself and others.Even if he wanted to love his brother he kept comparing himself to his father’s beloved son, and realizing how much he lacked. He just kept being reminded over and over again what a child who was loved could have turned out as.  Eventually Ogata convinced himself he was unfeeling. Because somehow that’s easier. He can process everything that happened in his life if he’s detached from it all watching from a tree somewhere.  He’s so repressed he doesn’t allow himself to feel guilt about his brothers death because he doesn’t view himself as a person capable of loving another. However, just like Sugis desire is to be saved from the hell of war deep down theres a kid in Ogata who wanted to be a good son

Ogata is basically my main point of investment in Golden Kamuy, I just want to see him unravel like a big ball of yarn.

#shigaraki tomura #kumagawa misogi #subaru natsuki #iichan #hitoshiki zerozaki #shirou emiya #doma #akechi goro #ogata hyakunosuke #suguru getou #spooky speaks #top ten favorite characters

[jetsetlife138]

Imaginary - Chapter 3

Rating: Explicit

Pairing: Alastor x Fem!Reader

Summary: You come across a device that throws you into the animated world of Hazbin Hotel. Once an average human living in a three-dimensional world, you’re now transformed into a two-dimensional human that has been cast into Hell. The inhabitants of Hell are curious and most harbor ill-will towards you. Charlie and the staff of the Happy Hotel take you in and offer you protection while they try and figure out how to return you to your world. That is… until you come across a certain Radio Demon with different intentions. Chapter Warnings: Language, unwanted flirtation, manipulation, asexual elements 

Your head felt heavy as you started to regain consciousness. Waking from a deep sleep, you felt fully rested, as if you had been asleep for days. It was a nice reprieve considering the stress that had consumed your body and mind merely hours before. 

Groaning softly, you lifted your arms and stretched your limbs, releasing a sigh of relief before your eyes began to flutter open. 

Oh. 

It wasn’t a dream. You were still very much in your own animated Hell. Great. 

“Welcome back, my dear!”

Your heart almost leapt out of your chest at the unexpected voice next to you. There, in your bed, was Alastor, casually laying beside you on top of the blankets with his hands folded behind his head, seemingly relaxed and completely at ease. 

Within a split second, you jumped out of the bed, your entire body trembling with panic. “A-Alastor?”

“Good to see you, too!” he winked, the corners of his grin rising at your response.

“Y-you… your face…” You couldn’t get the words out. His horrifying and distorted face was the last thing that you remembered seeing before you blacked out. It would forever be etched in your memory as one of the most terrifying things that you had ever seen and will probably ever see. It was now very apparent why Vaggie had warned you to stay away from him. 

“I regret if my appearance was jarring. I hope it wasn’t too much for you.” The juxtaposition between his apologetic words and his menacing smile only fueled your nervousness and did nothing to put you at ease.

Noticing your uncertainty, he chuckled and rolled off of the bed, dusting off his jacket before giving it a slight tug to straighten out the kinks in the fabric. He then summoned his staff out of thin air, setting it down with a loud thunk. “Darling, I’ve already told you. If I had any ill-will towards you, I would have already acted on it. No, no, no, you have nothing to fear. I’m simply curious about you! You are one of a kind!”

Ignoring his compliments, you could feel the frustration welling up inside of you, threatening to boil over. Between the agitation and the adrenaline that was now coursing through your veins, you snapped. “What the hell did you do to me?!”

“Why, I took it upon myself to see what’s inside your mind! Quite fascinating, indeed. I’ve never seen anything like it! Extraordinary!” 

“What do you mean?” you pressed, your cheeks flushing with embarrassment. “You… what, read my mind?” 

“Not quite,” he countered, clearly enjoying your continued baffled reaction. Sadistic bastard.

Taking a few strides towards you, he attempted to close the gap between the two of you before he spoke again. It was apparent that this guy had little-to-no personal space. “I merely caught a glimpse of your world through your eyes. It’s no wonder you were overwhelmed with hysteria! Your mortal world is quite appealing.”

“Ugh,” you scoffed, wrapping your arms around yourself protectively. “That’s so… violating! What makes you think that you have the right to sift through my head!”

His smile widened as he stepped even closer, now only a few feet away. “If you recall, sweetheart, you offered me your hand. I simply obtained information I thought was pertinent to your cause. No harm, no foul.” “‘No foul’ my ass! I offered you my hand as a gesture of good will! Not as an invitation for you to magically sedate me and rummage through my mind! It’s pointless anyway! Aren’t you a Sinner like the rest of everyone here? You’re from Earth! You know exactly where I come from!” His chin dipped as his gaze pierced right through you, taking a moment for himself as if he was thinking of how to avoid the question while simultaneously answering as vaguely as possible. “Indeed,” he began, leaning on his staff in a much-too-casual position. It irked you that he could be so calm while you were on the brink of insanity. “I am from Earth, but not from your Earth. My life in the world above was similar to this one in terms of appearance. It was also, as you have put it, ‘two-dimensional’. Your world, though similar, is also vastly different. It was quite a treat to see through your eyes.” 

Well, shit. That just confused you even more. Still seething and trying to calm yourself, you asked, “Okay, well… did you at least find anything helpful?”

He hummed sinisterly, creeping you out even more. “I believe that you and I can benefit from one another. I’d like to offer you my services and assist in your escape from this world to return back to your realm. What do you think?”

“I think you’re shady as fuck,” you quipped, unable to stop yourself. Much to your relief, he simply chuckled, amused by your comment. Sighing, releasing some of the tension you had been holding onto, you added, “If you really want to help me get back to my world, I guess… I’d be grateful for the help.” 

Twirling his staff in his hands, he urged, “So, it’s a deal, then?”

As he extended his hand, a gust of wind swirled around the room, nearly knocking you off of your feet. A green glow seemed to emulate from the demon, indicating his ominous, dark intentions. 

Slowly beginning to gather more courage, you shook your head and waved your hands to signal your refusal. He retracted his hand, still smiling at you. Once the green haze and the wind died down, you asked, “How exactly do you think that I can help you in return? I’m not really in the position to be helping anyone right now.” 

“No need to bore ourselves with the details! Why don’t we cross that bridge when we come to it?” There was something about the way he was blatantly avoiding the subject that made you feel uneasy-even more so than you already did. 

“No, Alastor,” you refused, surprised at your own assertiveness. “If I’m being honest, the thought of being indebted to you gives me the heebie jeebies. I want to know exactly what I’m getting myself into if I decide to accept your help. What do you want from me?” 

“What a clever girl,” he purred, sending yet another a shiver down your spine. “Very well then, my dear. In exchange for my assistance in returning you to your world, I would be much obliged if I could tag along for the ride.” 

Quirking your brow, you couldn’t understand what he was getting at. He cackled at your obvious confusion and clarified further. “Darling girl, I want to accompany you to your mortal realm! It seems to be quite a remarkable place, just oozing with potential! I would be remiss if I didn’t get a taste for myself, don’t you think?” 

Oh shit. He wanted to hitch a ride back to your world. To stay. And wreak havoc. And god knows what else. Could a cartoon even do that? Memories of watching Roger Rabbit and Space Jam crept into your mind, making you wince at the thought. 

“Get out,” you demanded.

Caught off guard, the demon tilted his head, all the while maintaining that damned smile. “I beg your pardon?”

“You heard me,” you seethed, still shocked by your boldness. “I’ve seen your real face. I’m aware of your reputation. You really think that I would willingly subject the people in my world to whatever evil plot you have in store just to get me home? No way. Not happening.”

Your response was almost childish. You couldn’t help but cringe at your own words like ‘ evil plot’, but you supposed that it was fitting considering your wacky environment.

The demon stepped closer to you, now less than a foot away from you as he towered over you, his height even more intimidating when he was this close to you, but you held your ground, refusing to appear weak. 

He sneered, closing his mouth for a moment to smirk before once again showing off his pointed teeth in another smile before speaking again. “I’m sure that we can come to an agreement. I can make your stay far more comfortable for you… if you wish.” 

The change was instantaneous His whole demeanor shifted into something else entirely within a fraction of a second. What was once a dark, looming presence was now replaced with what you could only describe as enticement. His voice, previously crackling with static that made your skin crawl was now dripping with alluring sin, making you want to agree with whatever it was that he said. How the fuck did he do that?

Luckily, your sense of reasoning was on high alert, preventing you from falling victim to his game. “What exactly are you getting at?” 

He hummed thoughtfully, eyes raking over your body before extending a finger to twirl a loose strand of hair near the side of your face. “It looks to me like you could loosen up a bit, sweetheart. Let me help you with that.” 

“Wh-what are you doing?” you huffed, side-stepping him and turning around to warn him with a glare. “Are you seriously trying seduction techniques to lure me into cooperating with you? You cannot be serious.”

A part of you wondered if that was even possible. Was that something that cartoons were capable of? You made a mental note to check your own body later to see if your anatomy remained the same, or if you had been recreated without those parts of you, forcing you into celibacy. 

Oh god, your childhood innocence was shattering. Granted, this universe didn’t appear to be a family-friendly animation. You were, after all, in Hell, so it was fitting that everyone here would be fueled by sex, but the thought of it was still nearly unfathomable. 

On top of that, could you even be attracted to an animated being? A cartoon? Was that a thing? Especially one as terrifying as him? He was a charmer, that much was evident, but there were way too many unknown variables here to be making assumptions. 

“Oh dear,” he began, with a wry smile. “How very presumptuous. No, no, no, no, I’m afraid you’ve misinterpreted my intentions. I have no interest in that sort of thing. I only wish to tend to you, sweet girl.” Manipulative asshole. Of course he wouldn’t be upfront about what it was he wanted and would dance around his response.

Cringing, your eyes darted to his groin region. He obviously noticed your lack of subtlety and stood proudly, never altering his proper posture. Swallowing thickly, you murmured, “Please tell me that you’re not expecting anything… like that in return.” 

“Ha!” he cackled, picking up on your innuendos. “Not at all. I’ve never been one to indulge in receiving physical stimulation, but it’s a gracious offer,” he jested, winking at you. 

“I wasn’t offering!” you barked back at him, fuming while your cheeks flushed out of embarrassment. 

“My mistake,” he snickered. “Allow me to elaborate. I am not enthralled by the idea of receiving sensual touch.” He edged closer to you then, his face so close to yours that you could feel the heat radiating from his body. “However… that doesn’t mean that I do not delight in providing it to others.” 

Red alert! Holy shit. This couldn’t actually be happening. A cartoon demon was insinuating that he would basically help get your rocks off in exchange for his help. Did you fall into a pornographic cartoon?! What the actual fuck!

Rage was bubbling up inside of you, threatening to boil over as you bellowed, “Are you fucking kidding me?! What do I look like to you?! A hooker?!”

“You called?”

Turning your attention to the doorway, you saw a tall, rose-colored spider-like demon, grinning salaciously at you and Alastor. “I was on my way out, but I couldn’t help but overhear. Al, baby, was that an open invitation? ‘Cuz, uh, I’ll happily take you up on that,” he finished with a wink. 

Brushing past you, Alastor casually addressed the spider. “Angel Dust, my good fellow! Good of you to drop by! I was just exchanging pleasantries with our new guest.”

Raising an eyebrow, Angel replied, “Hm. Kinky.” 

“If you say so,” Alastor surmised coolly. “My dear, I think this conversation is better left for another time. I do hope that you’ll consider my offer. It wouldn’t hurt to have me as a friend.” 

Crossing your arms defiantly, you refused to acknowledge his comment as he paused, gauging your reaction for a moment before gliding out of the room, his cheery disposition never faltering. 

“He’s a peach, ain’t he?” Angel jeered, flashing his teeth at you, showing off a prominent golden tooth. “His positive attitude is exhausting. I dunno how he keeps that up being sober.” Mortified of what he must think of you, you stammered, “I-it’s not what it sounded like! I’m not… I wasn’t going to-” “Sheesh, get over yourself. Want some free advice, babe? If an Overlord offers to rock your world, you fuckin’ accept. No questions asked.” 

Desperate for a change of subject, you inquired, “So, um, you’re a guest at the Happy Hotel?” 

“Toots, I’m the guest here,” he countered, running a hand through his fluffy hairdo. “And, just ‘cause I’m feelin’ generous, I’ll give you another free lesson. Don’t underestimate the most powerful demon in this place. Got it?” 

With that, the spider flipped his hair casually before strolling out of the room, leaving you in a daze.

Tags: @beetlewise-and-pennyjuice @edgy-drama-queen @chasingfireflies1999 @galaxy-meteor @cecidit-31 

#hazbin hotel #alastor #alastor x reader #alastor x you #hazbin alastor #hazbin vaggie #hazbin charlie #hazbin angel dust #angel dust

[alightwhendarknessfell]

Seems like among all the Ashley stuff, people have forgotten that Andy and Juliet are STILL involved with Scientology, which is a homophobic, ableist, overall disgusting cult. Just because what Ashley did was much more despicable, doesn't mean we should just excuse Andy and Juliet from their shittiness. I definitely can't forgive Ashley's behavior; he's disgusting, but as a queer person with mental illness and disabilities, I also can't forgive someone for being so involved with such a damaging cult.

Scientology is a horrific organization that takes advantage of people for monetary gain. They take advantage of people who are mentally ill, addicted, lonely, or who aren’t where they want to be in their lives. So as an organization, that is not something I support. But I’ve thought a lot about it, and would their members not be victims? There is no question that the people who run it and profit from it are guilty, but the regular members are the ones being harmed by them. 

It would be one thing if they were promoting it and trying to get others to join it, but neither of them has mentioned it. It’s possible that they have distanced themselves from it or even want to leave but can’t. Scientology has a way of trapping people and preventing them from speaking out or leaving. And the last thing I would want to do is cause further harm. Scientology teaches that those who speak ill of it are bad people and it helps further the isolation of their members. 

As far as Andy and Juliet go, Juliet was born into it. Leaving for her could mean never seeing her family again. Leaving for Andy could mean never seeing Juliet again. I have a suspicion that they may have helped Andy with his sobriety (and maybe Juliet too). He’s said before that 2015-2016 was a very dark time for him and my worry is that that is how they ‘got in’. Now of course them getting sober is a wonderful thing. I just hope they did not use that to trap him in something he doesn’t want to be part of. 

I could be completely wrong, and it’s possible one or both of them have distanced themselves from Scientology. It’s possible they are only using it for certain things but reject the more ‘cult’ side of it or even reject LRH’s views. If they are involved I hope it’s of their own free will and that they would be free to get out of it if they wanted to. I would like to see them get away from it just because of the danger associated with it and Scientoloy’s... not so great past/practices. I just don’t want to see them harmed or have to go through pain because of it. 

I don’t think they share the bigoted views that LRH had or that Scientology still has in their books. I think that’s obvious by their outspokenness for LGBTQ+ rights, BLM, anti-Trump views, and embrace of science. I like to see that as evidence they don’t buy into the cult mindset. Much like there are people who are part of religions that have horrific pasts and or views, I don’t think it makes them automatically bad. They’re not spreading those views or promoting them. 

If they were to do something or start promoting Scientology I would say something, but I don’t know if continuing to harp on it does much good. If they did leave we would probably never even know about. 

[scripttorture]

This may seem like a dumb question but my antagonist tortures my protagonists brother until he basically becomes a mindless drone and follows the antagonist's orders to the letter and believes everything they say. How would the villan torture this character into becoming this way?

It’s not a dumb question, pet, but it isn’t possible. Torture doesn’t work that way.

 Before I explain why (and why I think you should change this story) let me stress that I understand how you got here. There is a lot of misinformation about torture out there, in fiction and in otherwise accurate factual sources.

 It is easy to be misled. And a lot of the accurate information on torture is difficult to access, expensive or untranslated.

 You’ve been taken in by torture apologia and that is not your fault. I’ve seen journalists, politicians, academics and army generals all be taken in by this shit. I’m here to provide accurate sourced information, to the best of my ability and I’m going to advise major changes to this scenario in order to make it realistic and respectful to torture survivors. But what you do with the information I provide, what you’re comfortable doing with it, is up to you.

 Torture can not turn a person into a mindless drone.

 The mental illnesses torture causes do not make survivors ‘easy to control’. In fact there’s evidence that torture survivors are much more likely to oppose people who tortured them or even groups they associate with the torturers.

 Some of the mental illnesses torture can cause can make it harder for survivors to organise themselves and create an effective opposition. Some of the physical injuries torture can cause make it difficult or impossible to fight.

 But there is no abuse that can turn a person into a mindless automata. There is no torture that creates obedience.

 We are remarkably resilient, adaptable creatures. We are designed to survive.

 I think the choice you have here is pretty simple. You need to decide whether the torture or the obedience is the more important part of the story you want to tell.

 That’s not a choice I can or should make for you. You know your story best. You know what you want it to be about and the parts that move you. I’m not going to tell you what those parts should be.

 If you want a story about resilience, spite, anger and the lengths people will go to in order to defend what they believe in torture is an excellent fit.

 You can read about some of the common misconceptions here. You can read about the common symptoms survivors and torturers experience here. You can read about common memory problems here.

 I have a lot of collected sources here. Granted a lot of them cost money. I’m sorry about that, it isn’t fair. The evidence, research and the accounts of those most effected by torture should be easily available. But they aren’t. And I can’t do anything about it.

 I’d suggest looking at this post on Fela Kuti as well. Because everything I’ve read suggests that this anger, this opposition, this- Gods damned crazy level of spite is typical of the attitude torture survivors have towards torturers.

 Fela’s house was attacked because of his music criticising the military government. He was tortured. His friends were tortured. His mother, Chief Funmilayo Ransome-Kuti, was thrown from a top storey window and killed.

 A few days after his release Fela marched her funeral procession past the biggest military barracks in the country’s main city. Then he wrote two songs about it.

 Torture radicalises. It creates entrenched, lasting opposition. It breeds hate.

 If you want obedience in your story then the first thing you need to do is remove all physical abuse. Including things like sleep deprivation, bad cell conditions and solitary confinement. All of these make obedience less likely.

 If you want perfect ‘mindless automata’ obedience, then you’re talking about magic.

 It doesn’t exist. I’m not sure if it can exist with our nervous systems. No living creature is ever perfectly obedient and it seems likely that such a state would not promote survival.

 So if your heart is set on absolutely perfect obedience I’d suggest making it magic and making it painless. The inclusion of pain is, realistically, only going make disobedience more likely.

 If ordinary ‘obeying to the best of my ability’ obedience is good enough for your purposes then I think the most helpful place to start is with ‘ICURE’, these are a set of techniques which are used to manipulate people. As with anything they are not 100% effective, but over long periods of time this set of behaviours (and environmental factors) can change a person’s beliefs and behaviour.

 It stands for Isolate, Control information, create Uncertainty, use Repetition and Emotive arguments.

 The first point should be pretty obvious. The character needs to be isolated from their previous social circle and support network. When people don’t receive any information from outside of the group the group eventually becomes their most trustworthy source. When they don’t have social contact outside the group they become reliant on the group for support.

 Controlling information means that anything the character learns is first filtered through the larger group. It’s a form of censorship which means the character is only exposed to information that supports the group/ideas the group wants the character to have.

 This is combined with creating uncertainty about beliefs the group wants the character to reject. Often this means only providing information that discredits their previous belief system. It can also mean extended discussions about ‘why x is wrong’.

 Repetition is, what it says on the tin. It’s repeating this pattern of only giving the character information the group wants them to have, positive messages about the ideals the group wants to instil and negative messages about previous belief systems. Consistent repetition over a long period of time has an effect on our beliefs. Sometimes it even effects them when we know the information is wrong.

 Emotive arguments means- well keeping any discussion away from logic. Something like- going from ‘well I’m not sure this idea about our belief system lines up with our holy text’ to the manipulative character asking why the target hates them/God/the entire church.

 Consistent use of these techniques over years can (but does not always) result in a person changing their beliefs and choosing to join the group/opposing side.

 There’s an ask here that you might find relevant. And another one here.

 Wrapping this up, whatever you decide remember that the victim always has a choice.

 It might not be a good choice. It might not be a free choice. But abuse and coercion do not take away someone’s ability to choose.

 If someone is being abused then they are much more likely to choose refusing, sabotage, self harm or violent attacks on the abuser then actual assistance.

 Someone who is being coerced or manipulated is still making a choice. And from their perspective it should be a choice that makes sense. One that’s practical, or reasonable or that they think serves their beliefs.

 Think about what this character would choose. Think about what looks possible and practical from their perspective. Why might aiding the villain seem like the ‘right’ choice?

 I hope that helps. :)

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#messyspacespades #writing advice #tw torture #tw suicide #tw self harm #writing victims #writing responsibly #brainwashing is not real #torture survivors are not broken #ICURE #torture and obedience #resistance to torture #torture apologia

[nomolosk]

Sad AU

Hawkmoth wins

In his wish, Gabriel specifies that time should reverse to shortly after he became Hawkmoth and everyone’s memories wiped

Emilie is restored to health, but Marinette is wiped from history- and Adrien’s memories remain

Adrien becomes an emotional mess for a while, causing Emilie concern. Gabriel tells her he had a mental breakdown due to her illness, and he’ll get better now that she’s cured

Adrien manages to get out of the house once even without Plagg’s assistance, and he goes straight to Tom and Sabine’s. He collapses in a crying heap when they tell him there’s no one living there by the name of Marinette. They’re concerned and close the bakery until they can figure out what is up with this crying teen boy they’ve never met and figure out who his parents are

He begs them not to call his parents- specifically, his father- but eventually caves and tells them who his is. He tries to tell them about their daughter Marinette, but they think he’s mentally unstable, and while they treat him kindly, obviously don’t believe him

Gabriel shows up in person to collect him, thinking that if Emilie saw him this way she was bound to start asking uncomfortable questions. He’s very cold to Adrien and Tom and Sabine pick up on this (not that it’s hard) and urge him to be a little kinder to someone who can’t help the way they act

Adrien refuses to go back home with Gabriel, and runs away from the bakery, too, when he realizes that Tom and Sabine, though kinder to him, don’t- in this timeline- have any reason to protect him from his father

He goes first to Nino, not remembering that Nino wouldn’t remember being friends with him

Nino is weirded out and first assumes that Adrien is some kind of stalker- which is weird because he’s a literal famous model, one would think that type of person would *have* stalkers, not become one- until Adrien starts babbling on about everyone in his class, including some girl he’s never met and doesn’t remember. He hesitantly agrees to go get some ice cream with Adrien to find out more

Nino calls Alya at Adrien’s insistence to join them. He and Alya aren’t dating, but he finds himself more than okay with the idea of dating her, so he doesn’t really mind

Alya is extremely suspicious, but Adrien knows a lot of details that he really shouldn’t- scary details, like the names of her little sisters, for example, and what it’s typically like to babysit them. She completely believes that they would be capable of turning Paris into a zone of chaos should they ever somehow get evil magical powers

After Adrien tells them the story of how they got together- both of them know without a doubt that Kim would absolutely offer to race a panther, though the polka-dotted hero is a bit of a stretch- Adrien suddenly gets a thoughtful look on his face

He had just been saying that Kim and Alix are constantly betting against each other- something else that is true, though neither of them remember any race involving a pocket watch

Suddenly, Adrien stands up and says he needs to see Alix pronto

Nino and Alya tag along, and it’s really starting to weird them out how Adrien knows exactly where to go to get to Alix- not at her house, but at the Louvre. Nathanael is there, too, drawing inspiration from the artwork. Alya and Nino share a glance when Adrien casually greets him, and he looks startled

Alix is surprised to see them, much less the famous model who seems to be the one looking for her. She’s surprised and suspicious when he asks to see the pocketwatch she got for her 15th birthday recently. She pulls it out, but holds on to it.

Adrien knows it’s a gamble, since in the other timeline the miraculous was damaged, but he has to know. Suddenly very calm, Adrien tells her to say these words, and these words exactly: “Fluff, clockwise”

To everyone’s surprise- except Adrien’s, a fact that doesn’t escape Alya- Alix is enveloped in a bright blue-white light and is replaced with a masked individual in a blue and white skin-tight suit, carrying a white umbrella. Adrien breaks down crying again, while everyone else loses their mind

Adrien pulls it together when Alix whacks him over the head with the umbrella, demanding to know how he even knew about her pocketwatch, much less that it could do *this*

He tells her the detransformation phrase, and Alix returns to normal, but Fluff also appears, glaring at Adrien. She recognizes Adrien as one of Plagg’s holders- he has that aura about him- and reads him a lecture about a time and a place, and secret identities

Alya, Nino, Alix, and Nathanael stare at the small, floating *thing* that inexplicably turned their classmate into what looked remarkably like a superhero, as it yells at the crazy model- who suddenly doesn’t seem quite so crazy

Adrien starts asking about timelines and whether they can be restored without messing anything else up. Fluff gets confusing in her replies, but Alix finds herself understanding it anyway. The upshot of all this is that no, the timeline can’t be restored without messing things up further- there are lots of references to some kind of wish and keeping the balance

Adrien, crying again, finally asks if there are any timelines where he and Marinette are happy. Fluff, taking pity on him, tells him that time is complicated, and that yes, there are hundreds of timelines currently occurring where he and Marinette are happy. She doesn’t tell him about the many thousand timelines also happening where they are not (for obvious reasons)

Adrien calms down again, seeming to shut down now that he has no immediate goal. Nino, Alya, and Alix start questioning Fluff, while Nathanael comes to sit down beside Adrien

After a while, Adrien starts talking to Nathanael, asking whether he’s met Marc yet, and suggesting that they start writing a comic together once they meet

Emilie eventually shows up at the Louvre, tipped off by fans who spotted Adrien there, but Alix has taken them all back to her house for privacy, and it’s only by asking around that Emilie discovers where her disturbed son has gone. She shows up at Alix’s house

Adrien is in the middle of telling them all how Chloe- of all people- became a superhero, when Alix’s dad lets Emilie in. She overhears enough to know that Adrien has knowledge of kwamis and miraculouses that he really shouldn’t have. Adrien freezes when he sees her, the expression of mingled love, despair, and guilt that she’s seen so often since her cure, on his face.

Disregarding the others, she comes to sit beside Adrien, a troubled look on her face, and asks him point blank what Gabriel did. Adrien tells her

The kids are all horrified by what they hear- a years long battle against a supervillain, all of them becoming first victims and then eventually heroes in their own right, only for all of it to be for nothing and the one person who could have fixed everything wiped from existence

Emilie starts crying not far into the recital, and by the end she’s apologizing and telling Adrien she would take it all back if she could. She promises him that they will leave Gabriel, and that he can go to school and stop modeling and live a normal life. She also formally introduces him to Dusuu, who spends some time spinning about with Fluff, who came back out of hiding when Dusuu appeared

Emilie brings Adrien back home, where Gabriel appears suspicious until Emilie says that she wants Adrien to go on pyschiatric medication since he’s obviously more disturbed than she had initially thought. Emilie and Adrien pack in secret and leave in the middle of the night, Emilie retrieving the butterfly miraculous and the grimoire from the safe before they go

Earlier that day, Emilie had called a lawyer and started divorce proceedings. Gabriel wakes up to an empty house, save for Nathalie, and a letter wherein Emilie explains everything and tells him she doesn’t want to see him until the divorce is final

Adrien gets to go to school, where everyone is surprised that Nino, Alya, Alix, and Nathanael already seem to know him. Chloe is appalled, but Adrien takes her aside and tells her to just go with it- and to start being nicer to others- if she wants to stay friends with him

Over time, Adrien spills more and more stories about Ladybug and Chat Noir’s battle against akumas, and eventually Nathanael suggests that Adrien should write them all down. Now that he isn’t a model, he could earn some money by getting them published. His stories, once edited and properly marketed by the Graham de Vanillys, become a popular book series

Adrien always misses Marinette, but eventually he and Kagami meet and since he doesn’t have Ladybug or Marinette, he decides to try being happy with her. He also becomes a full member of Kitty Section until they break up once everyone graduates and goes to university

Gabriel’s company fails, largely due to the scandal of his wife and son leaving him suddenly, and his inability to concentrate on his designs while searching for the guardian of the miraculous so he can make another wish

#miraculous ladybug #miraculous ladybug fanfiction #AU #Sad #Gabriel got his wish #but did he really #Adrien will be okay

[intersex-ionality]

A friend requested that I post this response separate from the main thread so that it can become its own discussion. Here it is in “isolation,” with minor clarifying edits.

CW: This post discusses a hypothetical person’s dysphoria and experiences with medical, physical, domestic, and sexual violence.

I want to address the claim that intersex is not a gender.

That concept--intersex being separated from all other aspects of gender theory--is very young. It is, in fact, younger than me. When I was a child, intersex was not only considered a gender, it was specifically considered a subset of transgender.

For reasons that, I hope, will become obvious by the end of this post.

You see, all of the forces that target, oppress, and harm intersex people are the same forces that target, oppress, and harm trans people. The causes and the effects are almost identical.

Let me present some examples, because human beings often learn best through pattern matching and examples.

Imagine a child is being assigned male.

This means that the child is being forced to adhere, both physically and mentally, to other people’s definitions of manhood. Society looks at the child, declares the child to be a boy, and then enforces boyness on the child.

This enforcement may be medical, and it may not. But, the enforcement will always be psychological.

There will be actions the child is forbidden from taking. Spaces the child is forbidden from entering. Expectations the child will be forced to adhere to. Toxic societal beliefs that child will be forced to internalize. All because society looked at a baby, and said, “you’re going to be a boy now, with everything that entails, with nothing outside boyhood, and you don’t get a choice.”

Imagine the child grows up feeling trapped in boyhood, forced to conform to these limitations. The child knows, on some deep level, that boyhood is wrong for them. The child even knows, in as much as a child knows things about anatomy, that something about their body doesn’t match up quite right with their identity, and becomes despondent and alienated from themself over it.

Is this child suffering because they are intersex? Or are they trans?

It doesn’t actually matter.

In both cases, the child is being constrained to boyhood, often by force, and denied anything else. Because someone, when the child was born, decided, “this baby looks like a boy, better make sure they become one.”

And because every other aspect of society followed along the same path.

Whether the child is trans or intersex doesn’t change those facts.

The only thing that changes is the details. A trans child is far less likely to have undergone infant surgery, but then, not all intersex kids undergo such surgeries either.

The underlying cause, and the resulting trauma, are the same for both the intersex and the trans child.

Let’s say our hypothetical child grows up a bit, learns about gender and sex theory, learns about dysphoria and surgery. And ultimately, decides to seek out medical treatment to achieve a body that feels more right.

Our now adult thought experiment spends years trying to find doctors who will help them.

They’re denied most therapeutic interventions because their therapists consider the alienation they feel from their body to be a type of mild delusion. They’re turned away from most clinics, because “transitioning to something outside the binary” is seen as frivolous or as faking for attention. Surgical intervention becomes less and less accessible with each denial, because now they have a mental health record that makes them “unfit” to decide healthcare issues for themself.

Again, being trans or being intersex makes no difference. The denial and the isolation are still the same. And are still caused by the same force.

A ray of hope for our thought experiment: surgery to bring a body to a state outside the sex binary becomes more possible and successful. Eventually they are able to get the necessary therapeutic letters to seek out this surgery.

And another seemingly dead end: there are so few doctors who perform these surgeries, even fewer who are covered by insurance, and none at all within a realistic traveling distance for them.

This scarcity of options, the therapeutic barriers to access, and the obscene costs associated with specialized gender and sex surgeries are also the same whether the person is intersex or trans. The sex binary doesn’t care why you want to do something different, it only cares about making sure you can’t.

But, let’s say that our thought experiment is luckier.

They have the money, the support, and the opportunity. They get their hormones and their surgeries without so much as a hiccup. There are no false starts, no failed attempts. They achieve a 100% perfect realization of their physical ideal.

Their body is visually androgynous and sexually ambiguous.

And now, they are faced with a new set of problems born from binarism. Problems that still don’t care whether they are trans or intersex.

They get sick, and their doctors blame the illness on their hormones. They get injured and their doctors blame their injuries on their surgeries.

They get attacked and their doctors blame their broken bones not on their attackers, not on blunt force trauma, but on their own “risk seeking behaviour” because of their body and the changes they’ve made to it.

They were attacked because the bastards that jumped them could see that their body was hard to gender. It doesn’t matter if the reason their body was hard to gender was because of being trans or being intersex. The outcome is the same. Violence and victim blaming.

Let’s say our thought experiment is luckier still. They’re white, wealthy, attractive, young. People don’t perceive them as a threat.

They start dating.

And a new set of problems arises. Again, the problems don’t care about the underlying motivations of their decision to have, embrace, and celebrate a body outside the binary.

Again, the problems are based simply on that body, on that divergence from the binary.

When a relationship begins to get heated, and they explain the facts of their body, partners panic and abandon them. If they don’t explain, partners panic and attack them for lying. They’re told that their body is rape, because it’s “false pretenses.” They’re told that no one will ever consent to sex with them.

This, too, happens regardless of being trans or being intersex. The cause is the same either way: a body outside the sex binary is perceived as a trick, a lie, and a scam.

Our hypothetical adult persists. Carefully navigating the minefield of sex and romance, until they finally find a partner who loves their body just as much as they do.

Or, maybe more than they do.

Or maybe it’s not love at all.

Because this new partner obsesses over their body. Begins demanding particular sex acts that they aren’t comfortable with, which emphasize how different their body is from the norm. At first, they are okay with the demands, but as things escalate, they begin shying away from these acts. They begin feeling used, and reduced to a sexual object. When they try to explain their feelings to their partner, they are ignored, or shamed, or made into a guilty party. After all, their partner just wants to celebrate their beauty, how can that be bad?

This objectification through sex also does not care if their body is the way it is because they are trans or because they are intersex.

But now they’re in a relationship, with all of the interpersonal complexities that entails.

And they know from long experience that if they leave it may take years to find another person who is interested in them romantically or sexually. What if that new relationship is just as bad as this? What if it’s worse?

So our thought experiment becomes trapped in a cycle of domestic abuse.

Abuse predicated not on being trans, or being intersex, but on being outside the sex binary.

This pattern repeats over and over. For every negative experience trans people have, there is a matching intersex experience. For every negative experience intersex people have, there is a matching trans experience.

The reason trans people are oppressed is their divergence from what society has deemed correct and appropriate within the binary.

The reason intersex people are oppressed is their divergence from what society has deemed correct and appropriate within the binary.

The cause is the same, the effects are the same. Details may vary, but no more so than details vary among, say, racial groups marginalized for their shared divergence from whiteness in different ways. No more so than individual disabilities are marginalized for their shared divergence from the abled norm. No more so than different orientations are marginalized for their divergence from straightness.

In fact, these differences in detail are significantly less pronounced than the differences in detail between trans people and LGBPQA+ people’s marginalization for their shared divergence from gender roles.

So we’re left to ask ourselves: who benefits from setting up this separation between trans and intersex people. Who benefits from getting intersex people to police trans people, and getting trans people to police intersex people, and getting us both to think of trans people and intersex people as Irreconcilably Different?

It’s not trans people. And it’s not intersex people.

But the sex and gender binary?

All of a sudden, a group that presents a real and present danger to it, and to the class systems it upholds, is fractured. Is fighting itself rather than overturning the oppressive force.

Trying to inflict hard boundaries between trans and intersex people just serves to dis-empower trans people, dis-empower intersex people, turn us against each other, and leave those of us–like you and I–who are both trans and intersex, stuck trying to figure out which parts of ourselves to embrace and which part to ignore in any given situation.

It doesn’t benefit us in any way.

But it sure benefits the people and systems hurting us.

TL;DR: any system that targets and harms intersex people also targets and harms trans people. Usually in the same ways. There are differences in the details, but the causes and effects are both the same for intersex and transgender marginalization. The only people who benefit from intersex and trans people ignoring our commonalities and policing each other, are the people who want to divide and conquer us so that the sex and gender binary continues to be upheld.

#Intersex #actuallyintersex #gender #trans #queer #identity politics #intersectionality #overlapping identities #My Words #tme