#and even sometimes treating the ghosts like he used to treat the scouts he taught

[herestoburiedsecrets]

A Brief Analysis of the Captain

So there is this moment in Redding Weddy that I absolutely adore, which is this line:

I love it because i feel like it gives us a lot of insight into the Captain’s character. We have seen time and time again throughout the show that the Captain cannot let go of the war, and a lot of the time it is meant to be lighthearted or played for laughs, but this line is so filled with a sense of anguish and almost desperation. I feel like it really shows that the Captain really can’t accept that the war is over, because for him it isn’t.

I think there are two main aspects to this. The first one is that he can’t let go of the war because of the way it affected and shaped his life. It is shown multiple times throughout the show that the Captain bases a lot of his identity on his role and position in the war. He is literally known by everyone as ‘the Captain’ and he immediately takes the role of the leader of the ghosts whenever he can (especially in the first two seasons). His role in the war is something he clearly holds in great regard, and I don’t think he quite knows who he is without it anymore.

It is also almost certain that the Captain has trauma from the war, possibly even some form of ptsd. Living through a war is an incredibly traumatic thing to go through, regardless of whether or not you are a soldier fighting, and we do know due to his ribbons that the Captain fought in the front lines later in the war. There are several moments where the Captain acts or reacts in ways that are mostly considered odd or silly, and while a lot of the time it is played for laughs (and is very funny), and a lot of those moments could be read as him reacting in that way due to some trauma response. Having trauma from a certain event, especially something as big as a war, can make it almost impossible to let go of or move on from.

After World War 2 ended, everyone struggled to adjust into a peaceful life to some degree. German playwright Wolfgang Borchert compared men serving on the front line to ‘puppets on a string’. Peace was metaphorically cutting those strings, giving rise to the growing feeling of disorientation that many men faced, now having to be in charge of their own lives now after so many years of having a strict order they followed during the war. This level of disorientation was experienced by virtually everyone, with varying degrees of intensity, and the Captain would’ve been no exception. It is very clear that the Captain based a lot of his own identity on his title and position during the war, and the nature of his personality (being a logical leader who likes routine and order) means that he was well suited to the military life he led. We can generally infer that the Captain died quite shortly after the war had ended (given he is still wearing his uniform but has his ribbons). This means that while many people could adjust to a normal peaceful life after the war, the Captain didn’t have much time to adapt to the reality of peace before he became a ghost, adding the disorientation that he would’ve already been feeling. It really is no wonder that the Captain clings so tightly to the war, given it made up such a significant part of his life and during the time when he would’ve started to move on from the war, he died.

The second aspect to this is the fact that the Captain is dealing with a more metaphorical war inside of his mind. The Captain obviously grew up and lived in a very repressed time period, where nothing taboo was ever talked about or acknowledged, and it was normal for parents to be emotionally distant towards their children. Homosexuality was illegal, of course, and if someone was convicted of sodomy (as it was legally referred to as), the punishment was incredibly severe. Although during the war years homosexuality was largely excused (because of the blackouts, men could find each other in complete darkness and not be caught, and sex between men in places such as the navy and the army was largely accepted as a way to relieve sexual needs due to the lack of women present. Also authorities had much more pressing matters to deal with), it was still illegal (due to the Criminal Law Amendment Act in 1885), and after the war there was a rise in persecutions of homosexuals (one of the most famous being Alan Turing).

The illegality of homosexuality, as well as the taboo nature of the topic, all culminates in the Captain’s method of burying anything regarding his sexuality, possibly to the point where he himself is not fully aware of it. Coming to terms with the fact that he is, in fact, gay, would’ve been incredibly hard for the Captain, resulting in the war in his mind between his true self and the deeply ingrained societal norms of his time. Having to deal with internalised homophobia of any kind is incredibly difficult, not to mention having to deal with it knowing that in your time it was illegal. Obviously the Captain has grown a lot, and has evidently accepted himself (given his second attempt at coming out in 3x5, before getting interrupted by the art class), but that doesn’t mean that the journey to get to that point would’ve been easy.

Struggling to dealing with the fact that a literal war is over while also going through a metaphorical mental war all culminates in Cap’s genuine inability to let go of the war, as this line perfectly demonstrates.

#cat.txt #bbc ghosts #bbc ghosts the captain #the captain #when I say i think about this moment daily i am not joking like I genuinely think about this line a lot #i know not a lot of what I said is new information or anything people haven’t said before but i wanted to put my thoughts into words #i have been thinking about this a *lot* #also may i just say that cap isn’t the only ghost who can’t let go of their past bc all of the ghosts struggle with it #it’s just that it is especially true in cap’s case #i think pat struggles with it a lot too - like with being unable to let go of carol and creating clubslike he used to do in scouts #and even sometimes treating the ghosts like he used to treat the scouts he taught #like the parrallels between pat and cap are surprisingly similar #maybe i’ll make a post on it #also I am very very proud of the growth that cap has had throughout this series #i feel like that is important to say idk why #cap my beloved

[sunderedstar]

Lalli, orders, and a driving force of the narrative

let me be clear, this post is about trains.

but it is also about moving walkways that take you in a single direction, whether you meant to get on them or not.

and finally, it’s about people who push you to get on the train against your will, and the consequences of being railroaded (ha! funny joke!) like this.

(and it’s also about how Taru is a deceptive asshole who probably deliberately targeted a vulnerable Tuuri to try to manipulate Onni, but I digress.)

-

actually no. let’s start there. let’s talk about the hypocrisy, deception, and all around shady tactics used by the expedition planners. the expedition is set up for failure from the start by gross mismanagement because the organizers slack off on safety and even their mission statement – they just want money. even before they get the mission approved, the budget they submitted was already “refreshingly low.”

(yeah, you guys are so damn brave.)

from the very start, all Torbjorn wanted was a cash grab. he finds normal work degrading, and that's basically it. rare, priceless books obtained under the misleading guise of a research/exploration expedition. they don’t even mention it in the mission contracts. there is nothing on the books about this shit. the proper documentation is never filed. they lied to the Nordic Council through their teeth to get the funding for the expedition. every moment of that prologue section is marked by deception and shortcuts taken at the expense of the young people they’re throwing under the bus.

(yes, Emil. there’s like a 100% chance they absolutely ripped you off. you guys got some unknown set bonuses, they get percentages. without question.)

it’s like Siv trying to cover the hole in Torbjorn’s pants with ink to fool people from a distance. it’s a fucking mess.

and then they have the audacity to strip away all the safety measures that might have prevented disaster instead of, I don’t know, cutting their own salaries. you can trace the majority of the mistakes and mishaps right back to this line here, where Taru and Trond decide NAHHH, you don’t need a day and a night scout and a cat.

one scout. pulling a basically 24/7 double duty in completely uncleansed, unfamiliar, monster-infested territory, in a role that would normally be filled by three different people/animals. way to go, guys. if Lalli and Onni hadn’t been mages of any kind of talent, everyone would have been dead.

and then there’s this blink and you’ll miss it moment, where Taru claims that she knows people who are “extremely bored with their lives” as they discuss desperate people and idiots they can hire for their underfunded, doomed expedition.

One. Taru knows one person bored with her life.

She knows Tuuri.

But she doesn’t want Tuuri. Taru wants Onni as a defense mage. She asks him first, before any other member of her extended family. And when Onni says no…Taru targets Tuuri, the actually bored, adventurous, inexperienced, easily manipulated target she had in mind to force Onni’s hand. she sells Tuuri the exact same lie about this being a research trip, and because Taru is family who also previously worked at Keuruu, she knew exactly how to lure Tuuri in with the call of adventure and discovery.

(Tuuri, you are absolutely being tricked into this.)

Taru is family, and Taru is a military strategist, and Taru plays Tuuri like a fucking fiddle. there's a blithe, almost breathtaking disregard for human decency going around here. (the Vasterstroms probably took one look at their disaffected, undereducated, prideful nephew and thought, ah, how convenient! we’ll send him off into the meat grinder instead.) Taru only failed in that Onni showed up late – she still ultimately succeeded in luring him out of Keuruu, and then afterward has the gall. the audacity. to say she intended to try to recruit him again. after Tuuri fucking died.

how callous can you get.

a lot of this is also played for laughs. Siv and Torbjorn and Trond and Taru are often comical beats, because that’s the tone the comic has taken for them. Onni’s angry protests at the start of the comic come off as that of a bad-tempered, inflexible older brother whose concern is over-exaggerated and unreasonable, who is obstructing Tuuri’s first ever chance at Adventure!!!

oh wait. whoops. that happened.

now, let’s talk about Lalli.

-

Neither Lalli nor Onni want to leave Keuruu. Lalli’s just quieter and less assertive about it, especially once Tuuri starts steering him around, his only lifeline in countries where he doesn’t speak the language.

in a lot of instances, however, Lalli defaults to doing what he’s told. he believes Tuuri when she fills in details for him. he keeps going to his scouting job even after Tuuri quits his job for him OH WAIT THAT’S RIGHT, TUURI LITERALLY SIGNED HIM UP FOR A NEW JOB AND VOLUNTOLD HIM TO LEAVE WITHOUT LALLI REALIZING IT HAPPENED.

because Lalli is tired. it’s a running theme. he works nights. and Tuuri eagerly dumps all this info on him during the daylight hours where their shifts overlap, and apparently pushes all of the paperwork for their new job through without Lalli actively signing off on it or processing what’s happening even once. Tuuri claims they resigned together. I highly doubt Lalli had a damn clue.

a lot of bad shit happens because people keep pushing Lalli into things when he’s exhausted. from the moment they stumble off the boat to meet Emil, Lalli is plagued by nausea, poor sleep, and sometimes no sleep at all. but for Lalli, a lifetime of obeying orders – from Ensi, from Onni, from the Keuruu military structure he grew up in – has primed him to go along with it when he’s told what his job is, almost without question.

it's a kind of inertia. Lalli doesn’t want to leave the safe routine of Keuruu, because that’s what he’s used to. but once Tuuri literally shoves him into motion, he keeps going along with her as a path of least resistance. Tuuri wants her adventure, and what Lalli wants won’t stand in her way. even when Lalli does say no, Tuuri gets what she wanted.

and only very rarely does Tuuri not get her way. Lalli plants his feet only once, really. but Tuuri still goes behind his back to make sure someone else forces Lalli to continue on, while he’s trying to assure their safety in the only way he can.

Lalli keeps winding up on/getting manhandled into one-way trips. boats he’s told he’s not allowed to leave. trains that continue to push him along the track in one direction. a walkway that inexorably pushes him toward the outside world, and change. a bridge literally collapses after standing through a century of the apocalypse so that they have no choice but to continue on the expedition. once he accepts this as his new job in a weird, scary foreign country full of death, inertia keeps him there.

and Lalli isn’t the only one who can be pushed.

 Tuuri is the driving force behind a lot of the first adventure, at least as far as Lalli and Onni is concerned. literally – she drives the cat tank.

but somehow, despite her entire family and village apart from Onni and Lalli dying a horrific death to the rash en mass, Tuuri has not internalized the reality of the world. she’s running on her own plucky excitement and blind optimism and scotch tape and whatever Taru fed her about the expedition. she chafes at the confines of Keuruu and wants to see the outside world, and we’re supposed to sympathize with her sense of feeling trapped by military restrictions and an overbearing, overprotective older brother, because that’s how adventures usually go.

so reality in the form of a troll punches a hole through her and the tank.

Onni isn’t overprotective. it turns out that, in the end, he was exactly right. but just as Lalli is forced to work perpetually exhausted and psychically burdened every day by the mass presence of trolls in the silent world, Onni is now forced to work at an extreme distance. he pulls out all the magical stops, potentially gives himself a literal stroke to try to protect Tuuri from that distance – but the expedition planners bought a cheap tank and hired the bare minimum of people and picked the most dangerously careless, cheap options every. damn. time.

so as Tuuri’s illness progresses, the tank progressively falls apart, until both of them die. the crew is forced to continue on foot. it's not a fun adventure anymore; it’s survival, dealing with the ghosts and notoro hazards, and retreat. there's no new impetus without Tuuri.

(the way Tuuri treats/disregards/runs rampant over her reluctant, neuroatypical cousin is a meta in and of itself, tbh.)

-

once they’re back, without Tuuri pushing him along, Lalli defaults to obeying Onni. inertia in action. Lalli has been taught since he was very, very young that if he doesn’t obey orders or if he makes a mistake, he’s a risk, and he’s just seen his cousin die because he was exhausted, because Sigrun didn’t want to backtrack and has casually trusted or brushed off Tuuri’s word on Lalli’s fatigue this whole time, Tuuri pressed exactly that button while scolding Lalli about forgetting the snow, and it set off Lalli’s stubborn pride and prior trauma at the worst possible moment.

and so Onni orders Lalli to stay and get a job with Emil instead of coming with him (supposedly) back to Keuruu. it works. Lalli accepts without really understanding what has happened or why, and lets inertia keep him in Iceland for a month without questioning it, because Onni knows what to do and Onni never lies.

but Onni has lied, and Lalli has been left behind. deliberately, intentionally, by someone who he trusted to make the call.

time to take some initiative!

except things are a lot harder, without Tuuri greasing the wheels, with Lalli trying to go at it alone.

there are no one-way trains or walkways directing Lalli toward a set destination when he sets out like this. there is no Tuuri to keep corralling him when he goes the wrong way. now Lalli keeps running into minor stumbling blocks, language barrier-induced delays, and confusing evidence of where Onni’s final destination might be. unlike the silent world expedition where they had set destinations and book library targets based on prior research and maps, Lalli is essentially choosing where to go on the fly, based on what he learns as he gets there.

but that’s because this isn’t a money-grabbing, glory hounding trip instigated by greed under false pretences. the silent world expedition was inevitable in a very doomed sort of way, which was why the trip there went so (relatively) smoothly. this is Lalli, defying orders, upsetting what used to be the natural order of his life, because he’s worried about Onni.

and in a way, it’s healthier. there are no warning signs like the troll breaching the saw train early in adventure 1. we see sea trolls killed without fuss; no one has been in danger in Finland itself yet, really. They’re trying to find Onni to clear up a deception, not perpetuate a deception for someone else’s gain, at their own cost.

now with slightly more power of friendship!

trying to find Onni is…a more genuine motivation to start a trip. for Lalli just doing this goes against every instinct he’s been trained to follow, and the bumps along the way reflect that it’s an uphill journey as he finds a new way to live.

the contradiction has been there all along, though:

Tuuri tells Lalli to wait for her in Mora. he steps on the moving walkway without realizing, and has to go against the flow to get back to her. (even then, he’s still trying to do what he’s told.) Lalli’s narrative track has been leading up to this confrontation about his own inertia and tendency to fall in with what others want for a while now.

ironically, he can’t be afraid to try new things.

-

speculation time – this new direction for Lalli is probably leading up to a confrontation first with a kade-possessed Ensi, and then (even more speculatively) with a kade-possessed Onni, with the kade playing on Lalli’s documented tendency to defer to their orders. particularly if the it hunting the Hotakainens = the kade that possessed Ensi = the nightmare moose that attacked Lalli in the dream sea. an attack which, in addition to Tuuri’s death, would have prompted more of Onni’s urgency in returning to Saimaa. Tuuri died and Lalli almost died, and Onni’s got a very strong protective and self-sacrificial streak.

we see the prototype for what’s to come as Ensi slowly loses control of herself under the kade’s influence. she gives Lalli the order not to look into her eyes, first – but she hasn’t realized yet that the kade can just use Ensi herself to contradict that order. we can assume that if Lalli meets Ensi again, he’s going to have to disregard any order she gives him that might be suspect, in a way he’s been trained not to since he was a child. even back then, when faced with the contradiction in Ensi’s orders, Lalli wound up doing...what Grandma told him…

…but he can’t rely on Ensi’s last moments of clarity anymore. it's been too long. Lalli has to make his own calls under his own direction, with no way to know if what he’s choosing is a mistake or not.

and for a maximum ironic callback, Ensi says that she’ll retire when her replacement is trained…and when she’s dead.

if kade!Ensi is looking for a replacement for her now aging body...Onni and Lalli certainly fit the bill.

#stand still stay silent #long post for ts #i'm.......so sorry #TUULI WE'LL DIE TOGETHER. AS A FAMILY HOLLOLA DIDN'T DIE FOR YOU TO BE LIKE THIS TARU

[postpunkpontypandyphantomthief]

 I got tagged by @ostpunk to post 10 favourite pictures of yourself of 2018.

Thanks. It was mixed, but it definitely had its good moments 

I’ll tag

@autisticednygma @zombierose3 @comedy-cookie @rockystiltskin-bellamy @asongthatsingsitself @frogpuppet @morby @becausevyvyan @smashing-anarchist-poet @northern-irish-lefty @jokerteeth @sweetrevengeofthekilljoys @sweetlychaoticpeanut @inspiremexxxx

and anyone else who wants to do it

this photo, this masterpiece was taken on the 18th of October, I look like me for once, I don’t look like a sad kid or a confused girl.

I look like me, I’m an alternative art punk into graphic design and cinema who also likes to write poems and comedy on the side 

I’m a guy (still in the process of transitioning but I’m getting there), a chill long haired grunge-classic rock guy, I’m smiling which shows  I’m living life in the mellow relaxed state I’m in.

this was when I was doing my museum project and having a blast, yeah there were some mental health issues on the side but this was before that.

this photo is of me and Katie a mate I met from that “dance class” after seeing the Incredibles on July 24th.

,she was one of the few people I got along with, when we did our Britney Spears circus number, we’ve bonded from our love of the smiths,the cure and Britcom, we don’t talk about everything because she knows someone from my past who I don’t talk about anymore,but we still sometimes keep in touch.

This is a blessed image of me bowing to the lord of the swamp on October 14th 

this is from when I was in my Performing Arts showcase and a very nice classmate of mine Hana did my make-up for me, it was an amazing experience,I got to talk to people, and when I got on that stage I was like a hybrid of patsy stone and lord flashheart.

this is from when I finally finished my 12 years of Girls Brigade (religious girl scout thing I used to be in) on April 22nd while I would eventually change my spiritual path,I met some nice people there and every display gave me a chance to up my game with performing, even if I finished it off by miming with a sock on my hand, acting like Vyvyan in footloose and playing a female Alan B’stard.

Me on March 1st with a group of some of my pals from Performing Arts

Sophie,Jordan,Chloe and Sophie 

Me on new year looking like the ghost of Sharon Tate, it was an interesting day,I felt like a ticking time bomb because a dog was constantly moving about,I got to show people my poetry,I got to play Bowie’s boys keep swinging and it was an interesting day,I also got to wear my docs outside and have a meat pie for the first time, while Madness played,my uncles and aunts jived through the house,and my aunt and mum almost got me into drinking champagne, considering I wouldn’t be allowed to spit it out if I didn’t like the taste I didn’t bother,I had a good time but it was a bit too much for me.

Step Aside, for I have Big Rik Energy, carrying on his legacy into the 21st century)

there are no words for how much I adore that pan-global phenomenon or lord of misrule

because of him, I have met new people, I have expanded my creativity, I have improved my performing skills and knowledge of social politics, I’ve realised me and him have a lot in common both from our personalities and personal experiences to his characters,I love watching him, reading him and occasionally visiting him in the realms of lucid dream universes where we perform together,have the odd dance party or cigarette break or times where I can see into the afterlife and there he is chilling in the clouds, he’s like a mentor to me, 

I sometimes joke that he’s like a grandpa, (and a God,but I view that side of him seriously) considering how similar we are despite the fact we have drastically different ages and nationalities (slightly, he’s English and part Scottish-Irish while I’m Irish with maybe a bit of English but I’m not 100% sure),It’s like I’m an apprentice of sorts to him...almost like a reincarnation considering even before I watched the shows he was in I exhibited similar behaviour, personality traits and performing styles.

he’s a good mate/lord of misrule/utter legend 

he has helped teach me to be free, and while sometimes I have off days, and times where I’m lonely and full of regret, I know I’ll have my mates, offline and online, in this universe, in that universe and him.

even if spiritually communicating with him verbally is like a discord call where I do most of the talking, when I’m lucid dreaming with music, there he is, whether it’s old self, his 90s self, his regular self or one of his characters  and sometimes, he talks usually if My Generation by The Who is being played.

Christmas day was when I took that and it was a mixed day,but I stood up for my political beliefs in front of my family for the first time, after negative moments I was able to just my remaining energy to write a poem about how I feel about him, the days after I would read his marvellous book...

 I’ve opened up a lot this year, from new experiences, new people, new media  

and I know now my meaning and I should take pride in it

I am...the peoples poet

the signs are all there, I have many role models/inspirations in my life he is one of the main ones

my purpose is to bring art, peace, love and anarchy into the world

it is a joy to be the people’s poet for the 21st century

I finally know who I want to be

(Divine voice) LOOK AT ME!

Oh boi, West Side Story, that was definitely something (one of the iconic parts, was when I took the photo and instead of cheese I made them say “TANACON!”  (the experience lasted from July 30th to August 4th)

I loved that

I got to know the cast and crew and my fellow production people

I got to read out my poems to a wider audience

I still talk to some of the people from there today

it taught me about the industry, what the production aspect involves and how I’m actually very good at being in a “professional” environment, that and despite being 17, I was treating with respect and like any other “adult” crew member working there.

while Performing Arts had its ups and downs this was one decision I made in regards to the medium which I don’t regret.

Cheers to everyone I knew working there, hope your future projects work well for you~ 

#tag #photos #photo #happy new year