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#and even then i struggled so much lmao

revvethasmythh · 7 months

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An idle thought, really, but I think it's interesting to see fandom latch on the metaphorical interpretation of things like Laudna's relationship with Delilah as a metaphor for addiction or Imogen's psychic powers as a metaphor for either chronic pain or queerness, but there's much less attachment to or discussion of the characters who explicitly, canonically dealt with exactly those things. By which I mean Scanlan's substance abuse, Veth's alcoholism, and even Ashton's chronic pain (which feels like it was discussed much more before it was confirmed canon, and seems to be brought up mostly just as ship fodder these days). I suppose one could argue the devotion to the metaphorical interpretations lies in the fact that it's an interpretation of canon as opposed to being explicitly so, meaning there's more wiggle room to project a personal interpretation onto it. Explicit canon is more concrete, less malleable to the individual viewer. Still, if we're going to talk about addiction now in a metaphorical sense via Laudna, it leads me to wonder if we will see further discussion of the characters who explicitly dealt with addiction (Veth and Scanlan), as opposed to Laudna's purported allegorical version of it

#take this with a grain of salt because I was not directly involved in the fandom when major things re: veth and scanlan's #substance abuse issues were ongoing for the most part #so if there WAS a wider discussion of this that has happened in fandom I might just not know about it #that said in my experience it has not come up much at all #so even if there was discussion you rarely see it come up in the ongoing reception of the characters #which may just be an effect of WHO those specific characters are #i.e. two consecutive sam pcs (explicitly) vs now a marisha pc (in the metaphorical sense)#because I am familiar with scanlan often being called unfair and veth often being called selfish #but re: laudna many of her decisions (see: killing bor'dor) have the blame shunted onto other characters (orym) to absolve her #of having made those decisions to begin with #neither veth nor scanlan have ever been shown that kind of leniency in the fandom that I know of #particularly as it pertains to their very real struggles with addiction #ANYWAY this is not going into the maintag lol. lmao even #like am I fan of the comparison to addiction? eh. it doesn't quite feel like it fits. like it's not a perfect comparison #but like I'll play ball with it a little I guess since it's been brought up in canon

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cheesy09 · 6 months

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[CN] Upcoming Kiro Date Preview

🌸 Warning: This post contains detailed spoilers for content that hasn't been released on the EN server yet! 🌸

The world will witness my eternal glory.

From now on, there will be no separation between us.

🌟 Kiro's Fateful Date Blurb

The sun forgives every sin;

The stars will tell everyone their secrets;

And the moon only sighs;

Those who think they can do anything,

Wait for the day when the sun will never come again,

You will see your truest self in the darkness.

P.S. The live 2D version of this card's evolution commissioned by Papergames really gives one the impression that this date will end in tragedy 😭 It's got sad music, Kiro crying and everything. And the blurb for this date does not help either. Ngl, I live for this angst, but man... my emotions might not be able to survive this.

In case anyone is curious, you can watch the live 2D version here: link

What Kiro says is "Don't forget me. You're not allowed to ever forget me." 😭

#mlqc #mlqc cn #mlqc spoilers #mlqc kiro #*makes her way back from the dead to scream about this*#asdfghjkl im so sorry for the constant inactivity you guys #but apparently this is my life now since ive moved out of my parents'#being in another state all by myself ive been taking some time to adjust #and university life is just hectic. even breathing is a struggle here lmao #anyways ive been slowly working on his kiros bday date and ur date since i haven't seen any translations for those anywhere #and then depending on how much time i get i do want to try and translate this date as well #the romeo-juliet vibes that these two are giving off makes it too good not to #no promises tho #translating content take much time and effort #and time is the one thing im lacking 😭

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zerodaryls · 6 months

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it's so funny (read: sad) that if bigoted fuckheads didn't insist i was a woman simply by virtue of my body at birth, i'd probably be chill with she/her pronouns in addition to he/they. if my mom didn't insist i was her daughter, i'd probably let her call me that, and we could still have a relationship.

i'm nonbinary and 'gendered' words are hypothetically meaningless, but because there are so many people who are more interested in telling me who i am rather than lovingly and curiously letting me express my own sense of self, those words carry trauma.

there's no reason a nonbinary person like myself can't be a son and a child and a daughter. there's no reason a nonbinary person like me can't go by he, they, and she.

'she' is not a slur. 'daughter' is not derogatory. 'beautiful' 'pretty' 'gorgeous' 'feminine' are not insults.

to the contrary, they're parts of language that express certain facets of a multi-faceted human existence, like mine.

and i have this sad, mournful feeling that if it weren't for unloving, condescending people, i'd probably be down to be called any of those things alongside my usual masculine/neutral terminology.

but i'd rather die than let anyone tell me what i have to be called.

#i try to reclaim 'feminine' words for myself in private #calling myself 'babygirl' when i need to chill out. or saying i feel pretty. or going 'she needs help' when i'm struggling lmao.#but there's still so much fucking trauma in those words from the people who've forced them on me #who've snarled in my face that GOD made me ONE THING and ONE THING ONLY and that's a WOMAN (stepdad)#who've guilted me for taking their precious perfect daughter away as if i'm fucking dead (mother)#who've mocked me and everyone like me as if we're not the experts on our own sense of self (general transphobic public)#like. i'm not a fucking man. i'm not a fucking woman. i'm nonbinary. gender is absurdity as a concept. i'm done with it.#but being called a man or a son or a guy or 'he' or WHATEVER in that vein is fine and dandy because i've never had anyone say #'that is all you can EVER be'. or worse: 'that is what GOD made you to be and you have a ROLE to fill'#(christianity pls die approximately yesterday thanku 💖)#so yeah. idk. ranting yet again about Cis Audacity.#the complete lack of empathy. the lack of curiosity even.#the condescending bullshit. the 'i understand you better than you do'. the fucking AUDACITY.#i am the expert on myself. i am the ONLY expert on myself. period. no contest. not a debate.#i understand myself better than anyone else is CAPABLE of understanding me.#i could call myself 'she' and understand that i meant it in a nonbinary way.#in fact i could even see myself letting other trans people call me feminine terms at some point in the future. when i've healed more.#but cis people? probably not. they can call me 'he' or 'they' or they can fuck off & never get to know me because they don't wanna know ME #/end rant #any terfs/bigots that try to touch this post will be swiftly blocked and quite possibly cursed. have the day you deserve <3

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good-beanswrites · 7 months

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Hello hello! It's me again! (That one Anon who requested Lies with Kazui & Yuno, but I've set up my account now so no need to ask anonymously again lol) Thank you for satisfying my previous request, it was such a delight to read. I keep rereading it every now and then and I'm still always left in awe with it like jesus christ you didn't have to go all in on that im sobbing with the 0207 friendship dynamic.

I've also seen your latest post and drabble asks. I'd like to request from the Drabble List#1 - #5 “Idiots. They are all idiots.” with Es themselves!

Let the prisoners have fun and Es just stares at them nonchalantly, silently judging their idiocy from afar, hell, maybe even let Yuno/Mikoto convince them to join. You can do anything as long as you think it'll fit, they're all just a little silly (minus the fact they're in prison lol).

With all that said, take your time and no rush! I can always wait. Thanks a lot! ...now back to rereading my previous request for the nth time,, i love it so much,, thankyouagain

Ah thank you so much, that means so much!! I'm so glad you liked it, that one was really nice to write :'D And yesss thank you for the request -- this was such a blast to do as well! (though I also made myself emotional over Es' lost childhood, that was less fun ;___;) I debated on several activities within the prison but thought this was plausible and fun for some mid-T1 shenanigans

Es had a job to do. They had many eyes watching them. They had several lives in their hands. They had heavy responsibilities. They didn’t have time for something as silly as ‘video game night’, regardless of the laughter that bubbled up from the common room as they passed by. They were not way tempted to join, regardless of how much fun the group seemed to be having when they peered their head in.

Fuuta had whined that Es had replaced all his requests with completely outdated consoles and games, confirming they had been successful in choosing things without any access to the internet or outside world. Plus, they thought, this gave the older prisoners a fighting chance with some of the games.

Not that they cared whether or not the prisoners had a good time. That wasn’t any concern of theirs. Even in these long periods of rest between their more eventful duties, they must remain focused.

The laughter crescendoed into delighted screaming.

Es figured one more look inside wouldn’t hurt. They were supposed to be keeping an eye on everyone, after all.

The prisoners had gathered various chairs and bedding material, creating makeshift couches. Some piled onto the new seating, some splayed out on the ground, others stood in excitement. The television was so small, the two players needed to lean all the way forward to see.

Mahiru bounced in her seat as Yuno whipped around her remote. Fuuta was demanding Kazui play better, gesturing wildly at the screen. Shidou chucked to himself as the others grew more intense. Haruka kept asking questions about the game, receiving an answer only about half the time.

As the match got closer, Yuno leapt to her feet. She tried to shimmy in front of Kazui and block his view. He stood to prod her out of the way. Muu called foul play, though she said it with a thrill rather than accusation. Fuuta repeated it -- with quite a lot of accusation -- and tried to push Yuno out of the way. Mikoto tried to hold him back, voicing his support of Yuno’s methods.

The others got caught up in the yelling. Amane’s eyes were wide in anticipation. Kotoko pumped her fist as the battle got even closer. The room erupted in movement and shoving and tripping and remote pulling -- until they yanked the tiny television forward.

The thick cord came free, and the screen went black just before a winner was announced. Ten voices chorused their outrage.

Es shook their head. “Idiots. They are all idiots.”

They turned away as the prisoners hurried to set everything up again. They were just about to turn the corner into the panopticon when Yuno’s voice called from behind.

“Hey!” She ran up, taking advantage of their brief pause. “I saw you passing by. Why don’t you come join us?”

Not for the first time, Es wished they had enough height to look down on all the prisoners. “I’m your warden. I’m not some child here to play games with you all.”

She pursed her lips. “I’m not a kid either. But I’m still down for a night to unwind.”

“You’re lucky to have the luxury to relax. I, on the other hand, am busy right now.”

Yuno made a show of looking left, then right, across the empty hallway. “And what exactly are you doing right now?”

“I’m working.”

She frowned. “Uh-huh…”

“I am!” They fumbled for more, coming up blank. They should have known the moment she came skipping over to them that it would be impossible to fool her. There was no need for this routine check of the prison; everyone was gathered in the common room except them. Yuno had known this before uttering a single word.

Her hands fluttered in a dismissive gesture. “Too much work is never good for you. It doesn’t matter how mature you are -- if you get too caught up in your job it’ll drive you to some crazy things.” She smirked. “Just look at Shidou. Or Mikoto!”

“I could look at you…”

Though surprise flickered across her face, she kept grinning. “Exactly! So let’s get you in here.” She tugged on their arm. Prisoners couldn’t physically move Es against their will.

They huffed as they found themselves inching closer and closer to the entryway.

“I suppose I can come and watch,” they muttered, “and still keep an eye on you all.”

“No! No more working!” She managed to get them into the room. “Here, you can take my spot in the next round.”

Kazui looked over. “Who said you were getting the next spot?”

“Oh come on, I was clearly going to win that one.”

“Clearly? I'm pretty sure was seconds away from beating you.”

“Well then, I guess Es can take your spot.”

“Es is playing?” Haruka looked up excitedly.

“I haven’t agreed to anything yet.”

It was as if they hadn’t said anything at all. The others launched into a discussion of who would give their remote to Es? Who would they’d face off against? Were they resetting the bracket they’d begun? Which game would they return to? The ten argued in circles for a while. For a group of murderers, they were insistent on a fair tournament. After breaking up some bickering that could have become physical, Es once again wondered how they ended up watching over a mess like this.

At length the game was chosen, and a rematch was slated for Yuno and Kazui later in the night. To save themself time and sanity, Es went ahead and picked their opponent.

“I’ll play Fuuta.”

He had been the obvious choice: he could supply enough chatter for the both of them, so Es could remain silent. Also, he was guaranteed to win and free them from an obligation to play more than one round. They flashed a look at some of the more observant prisoners, hoping they didn’t tip them off.

However, no one was really watching them too keenly. Mahiru clapped in joy. Yuno beamed. Mikoto shoved a remote into their hands. Haruka started rapidly explaining the rules to them. Shidou directed Es to their seat in the center. Kotoko gave them an encouraging nod. As expected, Fuuta was already deep into trash talk as he sat next to them.

They really were simple-minded people, more focused on this silly game than the fact their warden had just sat amongst them. It was dangerous to let one’s guard down in a place like this, Es reminded themself.

With a little jingle, the match began.

Their fingers flew across the controls. Though they had a rocky start, some sort of muscle memory kicked in. Surely this game had come out before they were born, and there was no way they’d played it regularly. None of that mattered much. Their little avatar was obviously gaining the lead.

Their eyes stayed fixed on the screen as they received slaps on the back and nudges. Their guard's cap was knocked off in the shuffling, but they couldn't risk picking it up. Voices called all around them.

“Aw, don’t just let the kid win!” Mikoto said.

“I’m not!” Fuuta was desperate. “They fucking tricked me! They’re a pro!”

Es felt energy run through their entire body. Their original plan already slipping away, they wondered if they could actually beat Fuuta. It would be fun to see… They leaned forward, holding their breath. The audience continued cheering the pair on. Once again, the room was swept up in shouts.

The match ended. A little banner flashed across the screen to name Es victorious. They jumped up, a small whoop escaping them.

They would’ve melted in shame right then and there, if the sound weren’t already drowned out by the surrounding chaos. The others laughed and shook Es in amazement. Fuuta let out a string of colorful language.

“That was incredible!”

“Holy shit!”

“How’d you do that?”

Es placed the cap back on their head, pulling it over their eyes. “I don’t know. And it doesn’t matter. I’m done for the night.” They tried to pass off the remote, but Mikoto pushed it back into their hands.

“Nuh-uh. I want to see this for myself.” He grabbed the other one from a dejected Fuuta. “Same game. Same characters. Lemme see what you’ve got.”

Es wasn’t meant to play one round, much less get caught up in their ridiculous tournament.

Don’t be an idiot, they told themself.

“Bring it on,” they told Mikoto.

#milgram #es #yuno kashiki #fuuta kajiyama #mikoto kayano #and everyone else #i always worry it gets too busy with too many characters but i think this works 👍#thank you for all your kind words!!! i feel like a broken record but it really means so much to me --#im so happy youre enjoying these as much as i am >:3 #my next one is going to be a bit more serious but it was really fun doing these lighter ones :')#they deserve a night of relaxation and fun! im absolutely obsessed with es' insistence on their duty and solemn attitude #because theyre just a kid! they need a break! theyd get excited and competitive just like anyone else! they should be allowed to!#UGH #i think es and amane are a bit too similar with their struggles with age and being controlled by adults where its harder to get along #but yuno also understands what its like to want to be seen as a responsible mature person despite a younger age #and shed know how best to say things lightly but still meaningfully <3 #yeah i thought about them doing sports or cooking or karaoke but this worked the best #haruka and amane dont have much experience with video games but i think theyd catch on quick #shidou has a lot of fun but he sucks ass LMAO #mahiru also isnt great but even if she was doing good shed let everyone else win to make sure their spirits stay up #im a sucker for writing where a character says something over and over and you just know theyre trying to convince themselves 😂#someone tell me to stop rambling in the tags and just make a new post for gods sake asdfsdfds #i hope you enjoy!#im late by now but woo happy getting your account set up 👏 welcome to the hellsite...#drabbles

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dailyeca · 3 months

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INLAND EMPIRE [Legendary: Success] — A rosebud, more stem than petal. A teacup, with a steeping sachet of lavender. It will take time. But they will wait for each other.

portrait on its lonesome (disco elysium style is so. difficult hkjh i blend colors too much and am too cautious about palettes to be able to pull it off, does not help im a warm colored art kinda guy)

Dialogue: AUTHORITY — Don't let this perp get the last word! Who does he think he is, talking to you like that? RHETORIC [Medium: Failure] — Who *do* you think he is? PERCEPTION (SIGHT) [Trivial: Success] — Someone with a permanent frown. LOGIC [Easy: Success] — Someone who's a criminal. CONCEPTUALIZATION [Formidable: Success] — Someone who's an artist. HALF-LIGHT [Medium: Success] — Someone with two brass knuckles and the know-how to use them. ELECTROCHEMISTRY [Hard: Failure] — Someone who doesn't seem a lotta fun to be around! VOLITION [Heroic: Success] — …Someone who fell through the cracks. SHIVERS [Godly: Success] — Some 20-odd years ago, a kindergarten runaway is herded into the metal belly of packed public transport and emerges reborn in a new city, baptized and spitting up the holy water in the wake of an identity you could barely say was remade as much as it was, simply, made. SHIVERS — He drowns again at age 7, at age 14, and every year thereafter, water filthier and colder every time, treading without a shore in sight. Even as his limbs grow leaden, come hell or high water, he maintains that stepping foot on land after so long will doom him. INLAND EMPIRE [Legendary: Success] — He doesn't even know who he is anymore; he just feigns indifference. He is a ladybeetle inversed - in the same way there are dots of yin and yang. Stiff belief that there will always be bad in the good. Living proof that there is good in the bad. He will never shed the former, nor acknowledge the latter. EMPATHY [Heroic: Success] — Not now, at least. Not with you, and not without time.

#eca orichird #daily eca #worked HARD on this; LOVED writing for this hajksh skills my best friend skills!! <33 wish i could have include more actually hkjh #DRAMA - SIRE HE BEARS FALSE WITNESS REGULARLY! TO HIS OWN PERSON AS WELL!!#ESPRIT DE CORPS - The lieutenant takes note of the guy's stance. A single pad of his finger makes cold contact with the gun at his side.#PHYSICAL INSTRUMENT - oh yeah this guy's scrawny but he's no fucking pansy. you see that scowl? bet /he/ hasn't cried for years. unlike you #ENCYCLOPEDIA - Repression in psychoanalytic theory is the exclusion of distressing memories thoughts from the conscious mind. Often involvi #and for the skills already there: half-light - YOU HAVE TO KILL HIM FIRST!! BEFORE HE KILLS YOU!!!#very difficult perception check shows you his ladybug necklace. shivers tells you about how little Eca got it in the library.#lmao anyway; i made a spelling mistake but was too lazy to edit it bc i already saved it as png lmao. not changing that!!#the background of eca's portrait! on the left you can see a blotch of white on red with a line streaking down. that's the library window :>#on the right is a ladybug hkjh <33 i struggle with even abstract backgrounds so a lot of it is just messing around <33 #took me several tries to paint this and even now i dont think i like it very much but thats okay. painting is hard hkjh #anyway DEEP in the disco elly brainrot. had dreams about it last night hkjgh thats all i think <3

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