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#and even tho I Know intellectually I don’t pass at all
elllisaaa · 3 months
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imagine attending the same uni as jake… you meet through a mutual friend, but get close really fast cause you share the same friend group and attend the same parties. you’re instantly attracted to each other - you hide it more well than he does tho! his eyes roam shamelessly all over your body, as you tell him about the book you’re reading for school. he’s holding a drink in hand, one shoulder leaning against the wall, as he stares at the seducing motions of your mouth. music is blasting in the room, but he doesn’t miss a single word coming from your lips. his silence makes you suddenly realise for how long you’ve been the one doing the talking.
“sorry i got carried away..” you say through a nervous chuckle. “you must be bored.”
“no, not at all,” he shakes his head with a smirk. “tell me more, sounds really interesting.”
and he really does find the story interesting, don’t get him wrong. especially with the way your eyes glow with passion for the story, the characters and all the small details you pin point about it. he wants to hear more; he’s curious to know what happens next. but can’t he also kiss you at the same?
this is more of a soft cute thought, but IS it really?? cause we’re talking abt jake here. after you imagine his staring, his smirks and cheeky laughter that can make you wet in seconds, especially when it’s literally written on his face how bad he wants to pin you down and make you scream his name… i just KNOW the sexual tension will fly through the roof in this scenario. oh, how badly he needs to spread wide the legs of this pretty little bookworm!!! i’m going feralll
i love how your thoughts about jake always include him being your college mate  😭 but i'm definitely here for it because we LOVE this trope in this house. so ask and i should deliver sweetie 🤭
JAKE was really in the headspace of focusing on his studies this year. he barely managed to pass his exams, and he didn't want to let himself be distracted like he had been until now. that was until he met you. 
you and your stupidly attractive smile, you and your voice sweet like honey that made him feel things he shouldn't, you and your body that seem to be sculpted with the goal of having you down on his knees for you. and that was where he would spend his nights if you allowed him too. 
because not only were you exactly jake's type, but you two shared so many common interests, and one of these had to be books and literature. you were surprised when he admitted loving it, because, well, let's be honest, jake had much more the appearance and reputation of a fratboy than a bookworm. 
but he was, he really was, and you enjoyed talking with him more and more as time passed. you also had to confess that jake was hot, you would have to be blind not to see it, but contrary to him, you knew how to hide it. he was not discreet in the way he was always checking out when you crossed paths at parties, always meeting there because you shared some friends. 
jake also loved this side of you, the fact that you could be all dolled up, wearing the shortest dress known to mankind and wearing heavy makeup but still have an intellectual conversation with him about characterization and narration in the book you were reading for one of your classes at the moment. 
but god, how smart you were was really turning him on. jake wanted to bury his head between your legs while listening to your ramble about your books and not let go until he made you forget all about how to form a sentence. but he doesn't want you to think that it's the only thing he wants from you. so even if he can't help but lick his lips at the thought of having you moaning his name, he would not break the wall ateez and act on this sexual tension. 
and you're not immune to the effect he has on you either. the way he's lazily leaning against the wall, looking at you with lust filled eyes and a smirk on his face, had you resisting the urge of jumping his bones in the middle of the living room. 
"should we go somewhere more private ? there's too much noise here..."
let's say that jake didn't miss on the opportunity you gave him, taking you upstairs in one of the spare rooms, locking the door behind and finally kissing you like he had dreamt about. 
everything would be so messy and desperate because both of you are too worked up by the months of playing with each other to resist anymore. jake would give you everything you want, giving in to each one of your desires. and he would fuck you so good that everyone in the house would know about what you were doing. but that was okay, because everyone knew who you belonged to now...
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lysol1201 · 2 years
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crack ass headcanons but this time they were written at 5am
made this at 5am when i was stressed over school in march and i spilled redbull all over my desk and setup (i was a video game art major so everything i did was on my PC and then redbull got all over it so my life flashed before my eyes. at least i'm graduated tho now lol)
has some 18+ themes on here, nothing explicit just some suggestive jokes.
this is a long one so enjoy bbg's
++++
-Mammon’s favorite marvel hero is iron man because rich bitch
-Satan relates to the hulk, he empathizes with him, satan goes full on empath mode with bruce banner
-“OH SHIT! A RAT! THERE’s A RAT! THERE’S A MOTHERFUCKEN RAT!” -Barbatos probably
-MC boutta blare the p*rnhub drums music in HoL, the people who turn their heads
Asmo (lmao duh, also like smirks and is like omg what video)
Levi (he knows what it is but didn’t like it, he prefers hentai thanks. also probs knows from memes, is embarrassed because he’s levi even if he isn’t a p*rnhub avid viewer)
Mammon (oh shit oh fuck)
Lucifer (avatar of horny)
Satan is an intellectual!!! (He looks lol catgirl shit in that history and you know it)
Beel knows the sound but doesn’t care or feel embarrassed cuz it isn’t something he indulges in and Belphie is asleep.
-Levi has had significant others in the past but all have been online and most just stopped coming online after a couple days
-Satan had a skrillex phase, don’t ask why, i just can feel it
-Barbatos once played his playlist when he was baking with Luke and Luke was like “can’t wait for smooth jazz” and suddenly fucken breaking benjamin starts fucking blaring “SAY GOODBYE! AS WE DANCE WITH THE DEVIL TONIGHT! DON’T YOU DARE LOOK HIM IN THROUGH THE EYES! AS WE DANCE WITH THE DEVIL TONIGHTT” and Luke had a breakdown he had to go home. Barbatos was no longer allowed to play his playlist around Luke. So Barbatos played Cooking by the Book in apology. Luke once again got angy and went home.
-Asmo has once convinced Mammon, Levi, and Satan to do a performance for a Christmas event and it was the fucken Mean Girls choreography. Levi weirdly got way too into it
-Asmo listens to NSFW asmr this isn’t a self projection okay look let me explain I tried it out of curiosity and then passed out like good ass ASMR until the sounds of fucking woke me up n e wayz that’s Asmo
-“Oh fuck, Lucifer found the pee drawer… in his study HIGH FIVE” -Anti-Lucifer League
-ButterSock owners:
Lucifer
Barbatos
Solomon
-“Beel stop, don’t eat your brother-“ -Lucifer
-Who can do the WAP dance the best, from best to worst
Asmo (lmao is that a question)
Barbatos (don’t ask why)
Belphie (weirdly good at things without trying, just kinda like his grades)
Solomon (just listen)
Satan (wasn’t going to let Lucifer be better than him)
Lucifer (could be better if he wanted to but he’s not sure whats worst, being the best at it or being the worst at it. settles with the middle)
Diavolo (mmm fuck)
Levi (probably practiced before it was brought up, but too embarrassed to use his full potential)
Mammon (too much force)
Beel (too distracted by “macaroni in a pot” lyric)
-Pacifist Route Undertale Players:
Luke
Simeon
Diavolo (dunno why I just feel like he’d just be happy to be there)
Beel
Renegade Route Players:
Belphie
Satan
Solomon
No Specific Route:
Lucifer
Mammon
Asmo
Both Playthroughs:
Levi
-Lucifer wears crocs
-Buys discord kittens nitro:
Satan
Levi
Is a discord kitten:
Asmo
Belphie (fakes identity for free shit)
Mammon (b urself❤)
-No Nut November Survivors:
Beel
Belphie
Satan
Barbatos
Diavolo
Simeon
No Nut November Failures:
Asmo
Lucifer (avatar of horny)
Mammon
Levi (someone looked at me, horndog)
Solomon
-“This one’s for you bbg.” *misses*
Levi
Mammon
Satan
Asmo
Belphie
Solomon
-belphie studies by listening to like audio shit and falling asleep to it, gets that shit engraved in his brain and he can sleep also win-win he’s unstoppable
-“Hey…. do you know about Candice? Candice dick fit in yo mouth.” -Anti-Lucifer League
-Mammon can outrun lucifer but he lowkey wants to be caught cuz its fun
-“Hey, what do you have?”
“A knife!”
“NO!” -Lucifer and Belphie interaction
-“If you enjoyed the Bee Movie, you’re going to Hell!” -Luke
-Solomon told Diavolo about Spaghetti Tacos from iCarly and Diavolo immediately made Barbatos make some. He loved it.
-Asmo gets Lucifer to do tiktok dances with him and Lucifer is good as fuck
-Barbatos is perfect at tiktok dances. and everything. he’s perfect.
-Belphie is skilled with firearms, be afraid (proof right here)
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iamthat-iam · 6 months
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hey Bry, i hope you’re doing good, i wanted to ask for help because im tired of this, like i dont know who else to ask ( 😔 ) could you please tell me what i'm doing wrong?  (long text ahead)
i’ve been into Non Dualism for a while, not that much tho, i was into the Law of Assumption community and i was having that point of view and the i discovered ND. I felt like i was being blessed because the main idea of Non Dualism is so freeing. I consumed all types of ND contents you can imagine, i was in every corney of the internet looking for info and different perspectives, and i was doing…. meh. I was learning but i had my up and downs but i was slowly “detaching from ego”. Then something happened i had a few problems with a class of mine and i felt like a fell from the progress that i had. I was trying to read more and more content to try to make me understand that “hey its ok”, ofc that never worked because my teacher accused me of plagiarism and the owrse part is that is true but is not bcs of bad reasons i just used AI  and wanted to make my assignments easier and my mental health was awful for me to complete them. Then i found out that my grades were low and i dont know if im going to fail, or repeat my semester, and the worse, i dont want mynparents to find out and pay for those classes. I feel awful because they’re really expensive and i just want to solve this. Believe me, im so tired of reading content and not knowing what to do. I’ve tried every “tecnique” to slowly detach from ego, but i just can’t stop thinking about these problems, they’re haunting me like crazy. I know this is just ego but, ive had so many anxiety attacks because of this like i don’t get it. I'm sorry if im sounding too demanding, im literally asking in the best way possible, what else could i do?
A lot of bloggers say “you don´t need to understand this, is your ego worrying” and others say “slowly question yourself what ego says or sees and go back to your origin” that gets me so confused and i'm exhausted. im so lost and i just want to delete everything and feel better. i know ND, is not about this, it shouldn’t make me feel like this, is just very simple. i just have too many problems like Bry i am really concerned, my mothers finances haven’t been the best and i don’t want her to pay a lor of money. I'm terrified to let go of this desire to change my grade circumstances, because I'm scared that if I do, nothing will change and everything around me will only worsen, and it feels like I've got such little time to change things. I know it might b the best to “let go” and do nothing but like, what if it stays the same. I dont even understand when people say “let it be” or i saw a girl saying “if you have a problem, dont do thing to it. ignore it and it will solve” like how??? i feel defeated and i just want to be free. im so scared to be in this position when the week ends, or by the month ends. im so lost. i feel like i only know this intellectual, but when the day passes and i say to myself “I AM” i just can’t feel it, i feel like a limited body. i give up on trying to achieve something,Ego seems so exhausting and scary and terrifying. i want to leave everything behind and be gentle with myself. what can i do? what should i do?
thank you bry if you read this fully, i really try to follow your blog and i like your kindness towards ppl. i hope u have a nice day
Im doing good ty for asking!
You have to take a leap of faith. I know it's scary to let go of control and trying to change things but if you don't, you will continue to feel like this and the problems will continue to exist. Trying to change a problem is you acknowledging that there's even a problem in the first place. Worrying about these problems are just keeping them there, because you keep acknowledging that they exist.
Your true self doesn't have problems! So when you know yourself as you really are, and are not identified with the person dealing with such and such issues, they have to go away. There's no possibility of things staying the same because everything appears and disappears based on what you are aware of.
Surrender. Just know that everything will work out in the end (because everything is already perfect).
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luffyvace · 3 months
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may i please have some big brother kurapika hc for the soul? 🤲💕🙏
UM?? OF COURSE YOU MAY ANON!!
THIS IS SO WHOLESOME THANK YOU FOR REQUESTING!!
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this is such a sweet topic ♡
(some angst bc of y’all background 😋)
alright so let’s get the angst out the way
you and kurapika we’re the last survivors of your clan so you became even closer once your family passed
he became even more motherly and protective of you than he already was
if your age gap is big he takes care of you and feeds you
he’s a awesome big brother
will put your safety over going after the troupe
has lots of security measures if you two settle and get a place to stay
you took the hunter exam with him because no way were you too separating for so long
what if something happened to the other?
you guys have each other’s backs for sure, even if your way younger
kurapika would d!e to protect you
he loves you more than anything
if your age gap isn’t much of a difference or your the same age he knows you can handle yourself more
but he still worries
he trains you in nen if you don’t already know
(omg most of this is angst let’s more on to cuter times ok-)
with a smaller age gap
you two would train to be stronger and protect each other
honestly there’s nothing you can do to stop his big brother instincts so i hope you don’t mind if he’s a bit clingy
he’s just so worried
you two have deep intellectual conversations
and read together
would prefer if you didn’t want the same path of hunting the troupe down but it’s not so bad having a partner in crime
if your a more outgoing person who isn’t hunting the troupe..
he’d try to make time to go to social events with you and such
but hes pretty busy with his troupe business
he’s glad tho because you’ll likely be safer this way
just for the record
there’s no way he’s letting leorio have you 😭
he trusts him but….yeah no 😐.
for big age gap siblings
he kisses your forehead goodnight
he gives you all the hugs and affection you want to keep you happy
always has time to play with you and if he doesn’t because it’s serious he makes it up to you
with ice cream
going to the park
buying you toys or anything your interested in
leaves you with leorio if he has to be away somewhere for a while
does his best to take care of you
if your a feminine person he’ll let you put bows in his hair and play tea party with you
only in private tho
if your masculine he’ll play cars and video games with you
maybe even some soccer
he teaches you how to cook and be a bit independent from a young age just in case something happens to him
he’d go ballistic if something happened to you
your his last thread of sanity
”kurapika is now drowning in an in despicable emptiness 🤓☝️“
has a tendency to spoil you
lets you play with gon and killua to tire you out
you love big brother’s yummy cooking 😋🤩
would leave you in his friends hands if something ever happened to him
but don’t worry he won’t go anywhere
just like he promised 💖
i enjoyed doing these so much💗💗
i hope you love em as much as i do<3
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lumen-tellus · 9 months
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i was tagged by: @asuraid owo i tag: ALL MY FWIENDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ww
OC TAG GAME
✨ favorite oc ✨
Maria i.e. Yulia!! (i am particularly biased to her bc i put my entire philosophy interest and quoiromantic sensibilities into her + my love for “characters who act completely the opposite of how they are internally” so she is. very beloved!!)
⏳ oldest oc ⏳
teeeechnically that would be Faite, a goddess i made up when i was like. ten or something. but i don’t use her for anything at this point. the next oldest oc - that i actually still think of every now and then - would be Angelica, my very no-nonsense anger and parent issues who i still associate with ice at the same time oc lol
❣️newest oc❣️
Daisy i.e. Yulia (a different Yulia), who is the (very deceased) bestie of the other Yulia’s mom!! (yes i know it’s convoluted but trust me it makes sense)
💥 meanest oc 💥
ppppprobably May? she definitely isn’t the kind of person who cares about what her words lead to so long as it isn’t indiscriminate murder. discriminate considerate murder tho is understandable, likely not likeable but understandable. she can give a pass potentially on that.
💘 softest oc 💘
Sylvia!! my baby little dooter sweetest child in the whole world who i make suffer a lot
☢️ most aloof/standoffish ☢️
Maria, when she’s being Yulia - though with her, it’s not quite being aloof and standoffish, more Yulia is just very, very objective and disaffected in behavior so she comes off to many, if not everyone, as rather cold and somewhat distant to people in general. she can certainly emote - purposefully or not - but it either takes a very strong instigation or it looks very painfully clear that it’s an act she’s putting on, no matter how “natural” she is.
🎉 dumbest oc 🎉
ok this is hard bc none of my ocs are dumb by any means - at minimum, average intelligence, and the rest are ridiculously smart like ranging between “i have a phd” to “im literally a prodigy” so udsusguydsguysd and even beyond that, i like to hc my ocs as being v smart in some other sense if it’s not an intellectual smartness - like being people-smart, business-smart, etc etc. mmmmmm i guess for this question tho id put Nemo i.e. Mnemosyne - a very dense young lady who by no means isn’t smart.............. but she’s definitely a bit of a cuckoolander, unfortunately.
✔️ smartest oc ✔️
................also Maria im sorry i DID make her the strategist for her friend group so i unfortunately also made her stupidly smart as a consequence rip
👼 ocs i’d be friends with 👼
mmmmmmmmmmmm maybe Shiva or Esmeralda? u can’t say that life-wizened older women wouldn’t be fun to be friends with lolololol also. compared to my other ocs those two are So Very Normal and for my own sanity id rather be friends with the normal guys over my deliberately nutcase or deliberately in need of a therapist ocs (which is most of them)
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aqueeracademic · 10 months
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morse being queer (and other commentary) pt 17:
season 5, episode 1, “Muse”:
note: this episode deals with some really dark topics; i don’t really get into it in this post but be wary of the content
- okay season 5‼️‼️
- let’s get gay
- this guy seems a little young to be a professor
- oh he isn’t a professor he’s just some guy
- i want to live in a windmill tbh
- strange playing the trombone agenda!
- pause did morse not move to london?
- me when i have no clue what’s going on
- DETECTIVE SERGEANT?????? ULTIMATE PAUSE
- HE PASSED HIS SERGEANTS
- shit i guess he stayed
- living with strange! besties 4 lyfe
- these umbrellas are doing nothing to keep them dry
- the way debryn is giving his analysis directly to morse 🥰🥰🥰
- bro knows morse is the only one who’s gonna pay attention tbh
- about WHAT morse situation 🤨🤨🤨🤨
- i love frazil she’s always rooting for morse
- hello who tf is that
- george fancy
- WAIT
- i cant experience the george fancy story again.
- can’t handle it.
- “i’m used to working alone, sir.”
- no ur not morse u just miss jakes
- WHAT. SITUATION.
- oh
- okay
- so they’re just not gonna move him 🙄
- made me panic for no good damn reason
- morse is so disrespectful to fancy and for what
- “what’s a pretty girl like you doing in a place like this?” “my job.” 😐
- i forgot i also hated fancy for a long time
- morse was right ‼️
- “hard to get, eh?” why don’t you! shut your mouth!
- “you have no idea.” “i like a challenge.”
- WHY DONT YOU! shut up ❤️
- in fairness morse was really upfront with george about his expectations so after a certain point it’s george’s fault for being a dumbass and annoying him
- that’s just me tho!
- okay ew i did not need to see debryn pull that spike out of the dudes ear
- i am experiencing debilitating heart burn right now i think im gonna die
- anywho
- thursday just roasting the shit out of nero while morse stands there like 😮
- JOAN ‼️‼️‼️
- omg she’s back
- morse is so awkward 🙄
- morse is just… drinking milk. just a glass of milk. like 🥛. im disgusted
- ayo
- body took me by surprise to say the least
- morse is getting awfully comfortable looking at dead people
- i feel like fancy is already a lot like jakes and that’s what’s irritating morse
- he keeps asking questions the same way jakes did
- it’s different though because fancy is asking because hes ignorant, not because he’s challenging morse
- and morse is irritated because jakes was an intellectual challenge
- he had to be certain before presenting anything to jakes because jakes would ask questions to force him to prove it or think it through all the way
- fancy isn’t challenging him intellectually even though he’s taking jakes’ spot
- and morse doesn’t want a replacement he just wants jakes
- ykwim??????????????
- great!
- moving on
- “dipped his quill in any ink pot.”
- bro was a whore
- i’m also assuming he was a lil…. fruity
- but don’t ask me for proof! i operate on vibes and vibes alone
- the way i thought that glider was small 💀💀
- it was literally carrying around an entire human being
- “i don’t think she likes men.” “maybe it’s just you she doesn’t like.”
- morse is SO catty i love him
- he clocked that guy as a scumbag and just ran w it
- IM DYING at morse saying what shade the lipstick is and debryn instantly knowing the line it’s from
- that’s a little 💅
- i’m just saying
- for this time period?
- also the silence after he says it 💀
- and morse just carries on 💀
- i love debryn
- george is doing his best tho
- morse just misses jakes and doesn’t want someone else hanging around and i’m SICK OVER IT
- morse watched that entire strip show and for what 😐
- you could have just gone straight to the dressing room babes
- the way he doesn’t check her out ONCE when she stands up
- respect 😔✊
- i’m watching this on amazon and the amount of times the captioning has said [inaudible] is killing me
- AYO eve is gorgeous
- i know that’s the point but like goddam 😭
- “he’d seen me dancing.” “stripping.”
- morse ur being annoying
- they’re dancers whether or not they take clothes off and ur stripping them of their dignity by belittling their careers
- there’s 0 reason to slut shame them for dancing even if it is stripping
- don’t be a dick ‼️
- naur why was morse the one to uncover the body 🥺
- i literally hate him and then immediately feel terrible for him and love him again 🙄
- i’m weak what can i say
- the way morse looks at trewlove during the interrogation and she’s just like 😳
- girl didn’t want to know a singular thing about morse’s sex life
- straight up trapped
- i’m honestly confused how fancy forgot to get the contents booked
- like you went to do it right away
- did you just?? stop? doing it???
- and then morse just covers for him to thursday to keep him in everyone’s good graces
- he’s sooooooo
- ugh.
- if there’s an opportunity to be self sacrificing he’s gonna take it and i hate it
- because being self sacrificing IS the example he sets fancy
- and we all know how that ends up
- i love it when morse is alone in the nick and opera music is playing
- it makes me think that it’s playing in his mind
- like he is constantly hearing opera when he’s working even if it’s not playing
- he’s just hearing it
- i love it
- a touch of the tism perhaps…
- ^me projecting
- that student that morse keeps talking to about the life model? the one w the blonde fringe? yeah! he’s gay.
- once again, no proof. vibes and vibes alone!
- GO CASS GO!
- out ur husband as a con artist!
- werk
- ooo dr croxley is gay for sure
- i’m so low on actual queer content from this show rn i’m just assuming every single side character is gay
- “i beg your pardon?” “you can beg my fat ass!”
- ROAST HIM FRED!!
- get his ass
- thursday has absolutely zero reservations about this shit i love him
- this is reminding me of the riot club tbh
- idk if any of you have seen that movie but the group of men behave just like the riot club
- morse giving a theory out and then bright going “and the rest?” and him being like 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️ is SO REAL
- some of these episodes have so many characters, and i am so bad with names, i’ll get to the like one hour mark and have no idea who anyone is talking about anymore
- joan and thursday speaking for the first time in like a year is… hmmm
- she used to be such a daddy’s girl and now she hates his guts i am WRECKED
- dhmu 😔💔
- “that was quick.” “you asked for it.” “you’re a good sergeant, jim. good man, too.”
- you tell him thursday!
- me when i’m a jim strange STAN
- i’m nervous why is the music so scary
- oh literally nothing happened
- she just invited him inside
- he’s gonna sleep w her huh? 🙄
- he’s a slut
- i read the books! i know!
- “save it for your clients. i’m immune.”
- first of all, morse, we ALL KNOW that that isn’t true 🤨 no need to lie 😐
- “you’ve got need coming off you like a junkie gouging for a spike, but you won’t do anything about it.”
- this line is ABSOLUTELY INSANE i’m going feral
- like why would you say that 😭😭😭😭
- oh my god his face while she’s offering herself to him is so 😧
- i can’t do this tonight ✋😁
- the way he backs away from her when he starts to figure her out
- he’s so scared
- all the time!
- i hate it here
- sidebar:
- this is literally the plot of the riot club
- like what happened to the women and how the men behave and the fact that the men were scholars and it’s an elite group and they all call each other by different names
- it’s literally the riot club
- a movie i HATED and did not finish btw
- this is open riot club slander that movie was terrible
- feel free to watch it if you don’t believe me tho!
- but anyways this feels like the aftermath of that movie
- these girls are right and should be allowed to get away with it tho
- morse should have just pretended to never figure it out and let her get away with it
- i erased this episode from my memory this shit is so hard to watch
- justice for ruth astor.
- i’m sobbing my eyes out right now! literally sobbing.
- morse slut shames these girls the entire episode and then feels terrible at the end as he fucking should
- i hate men.
- just throwing in the death of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. at the end????
- like hello?
- idk if that’s supposed to feel random but it certainly does
- ok that episode traumatized me
- on to the next!
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baekhvuns · 2 years
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Bestie…. You prob right. Prob is burn out. Literally don’t know what to do about that right now cause I can’t really afford the time this year to stop. Maybe I schedule the next two-three years off in S.K. to take care of myself. Everyone’s (esp my dad) keeps pushing forward. And I usually get depressed during long seasons of nothingness 🫠 ugh. THIS is why I need Korea. Traveling? Culture? Nature? New people? ✅✅✅
And I WILL talk to my counselor if I don’t get the job *finger guns* I told her I needed to see her every week this summer cause I didn’t know how this summer would go. I 🔫 better 🔫 get 🔫 an 🔫 email 🔫 TODAY🔫🔫🔫🔫
WYM YOURE NOT PASSIONATE ABOUT ANYTHING?? WRITING?? But I know it doesn’t pay the bills easily. 😪 props to you for doing law tho. You got such a big brain 🧠😅 I’m very surprised you don’t like psychology tho
I feel like INFP’s are not meant for this world. We literally value everything that the world doesn’t and our values can’t be monetized (unless you’re like the top 1% of artists.) But at the same time the world needs us and they just don’t know it.
-🤗
hi bestie i passed out for like five hours im so sorryfbqnbdwmdbwm
Bestie…. You prob right. Prob is burn out. Literally don’t know what to do about that right now cause I can’t really afford the time this year to stop. Maybe I schedule the next two-three years off in S.K. to take care of myself. Everyone’s (esp my dad) keeps pushing forward. And I usually get depressed during long seasons of nothingness 🫠 ugh. THIS is why I need Korea. Traveling? Culture? Nature? New people? ✅✅✅
IT DEF IS !!! I think you should! maybe u need to get out and experience something in a different place to rly i guess, in the most cliche way possible, to find yourself and your comfort! even if not sk! go to the neighbouring countries maybe it’ll be a refresher for you!! EXACTLY TRAVEL TRAVEL TRAVEL !!!! highly rec u watch this youtuber named elena taber, her travel videos rly put u in a different world,,, i think u will absolutely love it! it gives u a sense of freedom!
And I WILL talk to my counselor if I don’t get the job *finger guns* I told her I needed to see her every week this summer cause I didn’t know how this summer would go. I 🔫 better 🔫 get 🔫 an 🔫 email 🔫 TODAY🔫🔫🔫🔫
YES AS U SHOULD !!! UR COUNSELLOR IS UR BESTIE !! THE EMAIL BETTER COME IT BETTER IT MF BETTER !!!
WYM YOURE NOT PASSIONATE ABOUT ANYTHING?? WRITING?? But I know it doesn’t pay the bills easily. 😪 props to you for doing law tho. You got such a big brain 🧠😅 I’m very surprised you don’t like psychology tho
iM RLY ONLY PASSIONATE ABT TRAVELLING JVDKWCK i want to capture certain places in the most beautiful way with my camera,,,, with writing i don’t mind it bc its fun to write so i do it,,, idk if u can tell but i self indulge myself in my fics in ways i want to experience things i project it in the fics bc ik someone out here feels the same 😭😭 idk how to put it but i need to get out somewhere and im sure ill find something to be rly passionate abt but with law i can help ppl and thats i guess a rly big + for me BDMWBDMW bestie i do not have a big brain at all YEAH NO FUCK PSYCHOLOGY I FAILED A INTRO LEVEL PSYCH CLASS, INTRO, FIRST SEMESTER I FOREVER HAVE A GRUDGE AGAINST IT EHFJD what are u passionate about? id love to hear!
I feel like INFP’s are not meant for this world. We literally value everything that the world doesn’t and our values can’t be monetized (unless you’re like the top 1% of artists.) But at the same time the world needs us and they just don’t know it.
that, is so true. i think infp’s r extremely misunderstood but they are so extremely artistic,,, their brains are so highly intelligent i don’t think ive met a infp who’s not an intellectual or someone who’s got a magnetic personality and passion,, truly so good, they don’t complain and do their work quietly unless they absolutely have to complain BDNWBDNS
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bisluthq · 2 months
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I think John Mayer is the ex that time has been kind to. He doesn’t look much different now than he did in his early 30s. I think most of us are influenced by Taylor’s savage take down of him so we can’t see him as attractive. I personally think he is better looking than Jake now, not that I would want to date him. I only found Harry and Joe A attractive amongst her exes anyway. I would only date Joe as I like the outwardly quiet and intellectual type. They are often more open in private, and I had the best sex with them.
Idk dude Jake does something for me. My bf actually pointed it out because anytime there’s a new Jake movie I’m like “oh look a Jake movie” and he was like “… you have a thing for him don’t you” and I was like “lol he’s not even nice tho like as a person” and he was like “ok but you have a thing for him” and eventually I had to be like “I guess maybe a bit” 🤷🏻‍♀️
John is an attractive man as are almost all her exes. Joe Jonas aged very badly but he was cute when she dated him. Then there’s as I said Matty and Tom Odell who’re like… meh. There’s also Taylor Lautner who I’ve always found just slightly above average but who had people going there for a while so we can throw him into the mix of meh looking exes. Everyone else is like idk fine 🤷🏻‍♀️
if I were to sleep with Taylor’s exes like I say idk I’d ruin my life over Jake like I know I would and I would hate myself come morning; Joe A and I totally would’ve if we’d met in another life and in the same location lol like it wouldn’t have been deep or anything but I would and I’d guess he would lol he reminds me of a guy I fucked NSA and then he went on to date a model who eventually became a Bachelorette on TV lol like that guy and Joe A give me the same energy - so we’d have done the deed but then he’d have found someone hotter; Harry I’d try for but I think I’m not hot enough lol; Hiddles I may have pity fucked in an alternate universe like when someone plays the spoons and stuff it’s so pathetic I feel like maybe I’d feel you should put out as a gesture of goodwill like to help the person yk? Lol it’s like this one time I went home with this woman and it turned out she had a teen daughter and this girl performed half of the musical Hamilton for us - all the bits my guys like all the different characters and I’m sitting there fucked off my face wanting to get laid like I’d invested both time money and energy into this by then right like I’d bought us tequilas and shit lol and instead I’m watching a 13 year old do Hamilton in front of me - and I still fucked the lady because I was like “wow this was super embarrassing for you, you must really like me” and that’s how I feel I’d be with Hiddles. I wouldn’t go back obviously but I’d put out; Calvin is a hard pass for me - not because I don’t think he’s handsome, which he is, but because like he’s just not hot to me as a person idk; who am I missing lol?? I like doing the thought experiment of would I fuck this ex of Taylor’s (most of them would not fuck me).
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makeup-cas · 3 years
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haha. dysphoria !
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goldentsum · 3 years
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— oh my empress: aoba johsai palace
CHARACTERS: oikawa tooru, iwaizumi hajime, matsukawa issei, hanamaki takahiro
TAGS: suggestive themes, smut, angst, historical au where women have the ‘superior’ status, pet names, ‘cheating’ but is it really cheating tho? idk empress x concubines have such confusing relationship status, unrequited love, dom-ish! empress! reader, concubine! males, praising
ROUTE: aoba johsai palace: you are here. 
AUTHOR’S NOTE: this idea was lurking in my mind every single day so i tried to write it HAHAHAHA very angsty tho. unedited bleghhh :p 
— oikawa ♡
• a clingy concubine!! he fr thinks that yall should just make it official official so that he can stand by you in the throne room as your one and only man 
• he’ll talk smack about the other concubines. it’s canon.
• also, oikawa knows all the gossip in the palace
• oikawa always tells you that he loved you even when you two were younger and no one can ever love you like he loves you
• when he was younger, his mother is one of the officials in court and the woman always brought him along
• and before he knew it, it was normal for him to go to court with his mother. 
• oh how he remembers it clearly. you in that soft white kimono, smiling brightly as you giggle, while your handmaidens gently pushing you on the swing. your perfectly adorned hair framing your pretty face. 
• you were so beautiful and oikawa just can’t help but know you. though as a male, it would be proven difficult, but his mother was one of the officials and tried to talk to you
• oikawa thought at first that you were a child of another official too and to his big surprise, you were the crown princess! 
• you still tease him to this day about how cocky he was at first, trying to impress you. 
• he loves it when you spend time with him and go to his room for procreating...
• it always feels like you’ve chosen him. chose him to spend your limited free time with him among your many concubines 
• maybe in the future, he can be your prince like you are his glowing empress.
“your highness, i’m really happy that you’re here...” he hic-ed, his lips trembling as he looked up at you with a red blush on his face. his once immaculate kimono draped his body loosely while you run your hands up and down his chest, admiring the milky and soft skin. 
you smiled at him and leaned down, placing a small kiss on his forehead making him gasp. you softly whispered against his skin, “i’m here, sweet prince” 
oikawa whimpered softly, heart beating harshly at the sweet pet name as tears pricked his eyes. your hands trailed down his stomach, feeling his clenching muscles. you leaned further down, trailing hot wet kisses on his neck, and slowly started grinding on top of him. 
the pretty male gasped, his hands flying up to wrap his arms around you. you chuckled at his reaction and the prominent hard-on that was nudging your thigh. 
“such a cute reaction you have, sweet prince~” you teased, your hot breath hitting oikawa’s sensitive neck. you let your hand go to his hair, running through the messy tresses and your nails scratching his scalp gently. oikawa’s eyes rolled to his skull and letting his head hung back, giving you more space to his neck. his hips jerking when you continued the slow and agonizing pace of your grinding. 
“p-please... y-your highness... touch me more..” he whispered, the massive blush on his skin so delectable. you smiled and faced him. oikawa’s half-lidded eyes stared at you with love and need. you placed a soft kiss on his lips making him moan. the kiss turned messy and hot in an instant. 
oikawa opened his mouth, letting your slick tongue in. you swallowed his moans when you started playing with his tongue and your fingers thumbing his nipples. his kimono rustled and crumpled as you moved it off his shoulders. 
tooruu loves you so much that it hurts. your soft touch wasn’t making it easier for him to deny you. he tried to shove the feelings he had for you but whenever you smiled at him, it starts to build up again. 
it was as easy as that. you had him wrapped around your fingers and you don’t even know. 
his hands clenching your red kimono as if he were to loosen even just a bit, you’d disappear. just like before...
— iwaizumi ♡
• an intellectual concubine who deals with affairs in court!
• the other concubines are scared of him! 
• but he doesn’t know that so shhh! this baby thinks that they’re just shy and just didn’t know him so they talk to him
• iwaizumi wants to be useful to you. not just a baby maker who comes and goes. 
• he never intended to fall in love with you. he really didn’t. he became a concubine because oikawa dragged him into it when the former was up for the exam. 
• iwaizumi relented because he thought if he’s at court, he can do something about the oppression that was happening around towards males. 
• he wants to change it and he thought that he was just a mere concubine in your court so he can do something about it without having to deal with you. you were an empress that embraced and welcomed many men in your court. 
• though, he didn’t know how much he was able to feel so loved when he met you. 
• so his objective changed, though only a little. he wants to be called as your lover that changed the views of society. 
• but he admits that there was a lot of competition in court. most especially for your affection and attention. iwaizumi saw a lot of other males ruining and fighting when you were not present. 
• but he won’t participate in it, he won’t stoop so low. though when another concubine started telling lies about you having favorites and being unfair, he mayhaps fought talked with him. 
“y-your majesty! we can’t do this here!” iwaizumi gasped, placing a shaky hand on your arm as you pressed him against the shelves of your private library
you chuckled and leaned against him, trailing kisses with your lips on his neck. you felt him shiver when you placed a wet kiss on his pulse while your hands groped and caressed his body through his thick kimono. 
“why not?~” you asked, biting his ear. iwaizumi gasped, his knees buckling a bit while he supported himself on the shelf. iwaizumi always tells you that you shouldn’t waste your time with him. he was so different from the usual concubines in your court. he wasn’t pretty nor delicate like them... but that what makes him so addicting to you. 
“i think you deserve a break, sweetie~ i heard all about your accomplishment in my court. may i say how impressed i am” you cooed and leaned a bit to face him. you looked him straight in his eyes making him a little shy at your unwavering gaze that was filled with adoration. 
iwaizumi closed his eyes tightly and hugged you, hiding his warm face in your neck. it was inappropriate to just hug the empress like this and normally, he wouldn’t do this but he just felt so much in the moment. 
he made you proud. you’re proud of him. it was all for you. you. 
iwaizumi heard you chuckled, feeling the light vibration through his clothes. he felt you lean away and he let you. you pressed your forehead against his, caressing his warm red cheek. “you worked hard, hajime” 
the man whimpered and pressed a hard and needy kiss on your lips as you hummed in approval. he let you guide him through the kiss as your tongue slithered in his cavern, playing with his tongue. 
god, you tasted so good. your lips felt heavenly against him. if he can, he’ll kiss you forever. 
your hand trailed up to his hair, massaging his scalp and he moaned into the kiss. you felt the hard nudge against your thigh which make you smirk, as much as you can while kissing. 
you then jutted your leg between his, your thigh pressing against his hard-on. iwaizumi gasped, holding onto you. 
he looked into you and he shivered when he saw your dark gaze as your eyes swirled with lust. 
before he can do anything, a voice called out from the door outside. “your highness? the court awaits for you in the throne room” 
you sighed in annoyance but slowly removed your body away from iwaizumi which made the male whine unconsciously at the lost of your heat. you smiled at him and held his face, swiping your thumb lightly against his pink lips. “i’ll see you later, sweets~” and went out of the library, leaving him alone in silence and with his thoughts. 
the male sighed.
hajime knows he can’t make you love him like he loves you but that’s okay. as long as he gets to be by your side, it’s okay. it really was okay... to be able to hold you was a miracle for him and he ended up loving you way too much. 
not many would remember him and his work in your court but he wishes something more than anything else.
when all of these moments pass and he’s all but a grain in the wide earth, he hopes that the world can remember how much he loved you. 
— matsukawa ♡
• mattsun doesn’t know how he got in your court tbh
• he was just lounging around his estate then his mother slammed his door open and told him he’s gonna be a concubine for the empress
• at first he doesn’t know what to feel cus a concubine? for the empress? him? fr? 
• though when he met you, you were kinda intimidating tbh. he was nervous because he knows the status of men in court and in society in general. 
• but when he found out that you were chill about it and actually cared about him well them? 
• he mayhaps softened
• mattsun is usually seen in the garden with makki, just talking shit about some desperate concubines they see around
• when you started visiting him in the palace he resides in with the other 3, he thought he was sick with how fast his heart was beating.
• he never really paid any attention to other women, finding them annoying with how boasty they get about their status whenever he’s in a match-making visit.
• but you talked to him like he was a human being, like you see him for him and not his status in society. 
• when mattsun gets comfortable, he’s very tease-y because he likes hearing you laugh. call him whipped but he doesn’t care. 
• he wants to see your bright eyes looking at him. him. just him. your smile sent towards his way. 
• when you consummated that one night for the first time, he got overwhelmed with the way you were soft and let him lead though still maintaining your aura of authority. 
• whenever he thinks about that night, the butterflies in his stomach starts again. mattsun would thank his mother right now if he can for letting him have the opportunity to meet you and to actually hold you. 
you chuckled when he started pecking your face with multiple kisses as his larger body pressed against yours, pinning you down in the soft and thick futon in his room in the palace. 
“still so clingy, issei~” you teased but the male only hummed with a small and warm smile on his lips while he continues to litter your face and neck with his kisses. you felt his warm hands touch your skin softly, the feeling of his soft hands on your body always made you feel a little softer. 
you reached up and held his face, squishing it so that his lips were all pouty. you laughed at his expression and kissed his lips. 
mattsun could feel it again. the butterflies in his stomach. the harsh beating of his heart. he hoped that you wouldn’t hear it. he wants to maintain this calm and apathetic that goes with the flow kind of vibe. 
if you knew how much he loved you, he doesn’t know what he would do. these feelings were too much for the young man. 
mattsun wants to be with you all the time, he wants to feel you all the time. to have and to hold you. 
when you released your hold on his face to run your fingers through his hair and massaging the back of his neck, he started kissing you deeper. 
he swiped his tongue on your bottom lip, asking for permission. you hummed and opened your mouth which he eagerly accepted. 
his hands then held your thighs, squeezing and fondling the thick meat. matsukawa groaned into the kiss when you wrapped your legs around his waist, making his groin press against your heat. at the small action, he started kissing you more feverishly, his hands touching every skin and starting to remove your kimono. 
so needy. desperate even. to touch you. to feel you again. to sink into the delusion that you two were two lovesick couple in your own small little world. 
you chuckled, albeit muffled by matsukawa’s lips still working against yours, you let your legs drop from his waist making him whine and break the kiss in confusion. 
“i thought we were finished and you’re letting me go back?” you teased, wrapping your arms around his neck loosely. issei rolled his eyes playfully, though he knows he shouldn’t but you just felt so familiar and you make him sp comfortable in your presence that it scared him a little because he does all sorts of things. 
“i am~ but you’re making it a little harder than usual, my empress” he teased back, bumping his nose against yours while his lazy smirk that you loved so much appeared in his lips. 
“am i?~” you bit back, replying with your own smirk. mattsun let his eyes drop and go to your lips. mesmerized by it. it was so red. so beautiful. so soft. so kissable. 
“well you have to let me go, issei. you hogged me for the whole day, needy~” you poked his cheek which he bit playfully making you chuckle. mattsun let go of your finger and placed a small kiss on it. “well, i am your favorite right? i have the right to take your time~” he teased again
“of course” you whispered, stroking his face. mattsun’s eyes softened at that and leaned closer to your hands. 
“i have to go, issei...” his lazy smirk wavered a bit at your words but he straightened it. fortunately for him, you didn’t noticed. 
mattsun nodded and sat up, letting you sit up too. you pressed a soft kiss on his lips and fixed your kimono and hair to look presentable as you leave. 
you stood up and was about to go out but a large hand held yours. you looked down at him and smiled, squeezing his hand before letting go and going out
he watched you exit his room, his heart clenching painfully. issei let out a shaky breath and held his forehead, chuckling pathetically. 
it was painful to see you come and go. it was his fault for feeling like this, not yours... it’s his fault for falling in love with you, the empress, when he’s just a mere concubine in your court.
he cursed and gripped his chest, where his heart was. 
he dreaded this and he knows that there would be a time where he’ll see a man by your side. and all he can do is wish that it was him that you chose.
— hanamaki ♡
• he’s a chill concubine
• makki just hangs around here and there, not minding any of the loud concubines when they’re in your palace. 
• he also doesn’t do anything to capture your attention but weirdly enough that made you intrigued
• his soft pink hair was always your favorite. you always tell him this that he had the prettiest hair you’ve seen. that it was so unique and whenever all of your concubines are in your court, you can spot him easily.
• makki being the middle child with two sisters mean that there was barely attention given to him in his household. 
• so the male wasn’t familiar with compliments and gets a little too shy when he receives it. and especially from you? the empress, the most powerful woman in the country? 
• his father brought him up when his mother took his sisters with her. 
• he remembers the muffled shout, “i don’t need a good for nothing male!” 
• hanamaki doesn’t really care anymore, deciding to isolate himself but his father was ambitious.
• his father pushed him to the empress, telling him to get ahead. that he can raise their status. he was the shining hope for the two of them. 
• makki didn’t know what to do when he first came to your court but you were there to ease his nerves though he’d admit he thought you were a guard from the way you dressed. you loved sneaking around, wearing different uniforms. though makki had his suspicions because there was no way a guard could look so beautiful..
• may the gods help him. he was falling in love with you. and fast. 
this was bad. really bad. but he can’t stop. not now. not now that he has experienced what it was like to be in your arms. to feel your lips against his. 
but the guilt was slowly eating him away. mattsun, his best friend, loved you and takahiro promised to help the former with you but here he was. warming your bed, stroking every skin he could touch. 
“what’s wrong, cherry blossom?” you asked, breath heavy from his actions. makki leaned his head against your thigh, looking at you. you’re so beautiful. 
your eyes half-lidded, chest heaving heavy pants from your previous orgasm as your red lips curled into a breathless smile.
you run your fingers through his hair, looking at him with confusion. makki let out an amused sigh and shook his head, pushing down any guilt that he felt. 
he doesn’t want to remember that. he doesn’t want to be reminded. right now he wants to focus on you. you. nothing else but loving you. 
“nothing, my queen” he hummed and leaned closer to your wet cunt again, tongue swiping against the puffy clit making you shiver at the sensitivity. you sighed, eyes rolling back to your skull as makki gently sucked and licked you. 
you gripped his hair, hips jutting against his mouth. makki hummed against you, his cock twitching excitedly, as his actions got faster when he saw that you were ready for more. oh, how he lives to please you. 
to see you come undone before his eyes was truly heavenly. 
but takahiro knew this was a bad idea. he didn’t want to do this to his best friend... he knew that issei loves you... but here he was, enjoying your every touch, every affection, and every moan your pretty lips releases. 
if he can redo everything and decline his father’s wishes and honor his friend’s feelings, he knows what he'll do... 
he would be here again and again, waiting for you. 
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capricores · 3 years
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hey, love 💓 hope you’re having a good day. I just discovered I have an Aquarius stellium and I don’t really know what it means 🙃
thank you so much angel! aquarius stellium:
“extrovert-passing introverts” // aquarius stelliums are great at being social, and they like connecting with people, but they tend to hate being social at the exact same time, they like isolation/alone time and can have a pretty short fuse for dealing with people (it’s pretty conflicting! they have a love-hate relationship with being social lol, it highly depends on the house of the aquarius stellium in this case)
they tend to have that “social battery”, but it works both ways. they need social interaction for happiness (esp aquarius moon/venus), but they also usually need a day or three to recharge after social interactions/gatherings
despite their very chill, calm exterior i do find they get irritated and frustrated pretty easily, they have a very low tolerance for people’s bs and they aren’t usually great at hiding their annoyance (mostly because they simply don’t care to; in an aquarian’s mind they don’t generally see why they would hide their emotions for your sake)
surprisingly very stubborn! people expect them to be open since they’re an air sign; and mind you, they are very good at listening and understanding new ideas, concepts, ways of thinking/doing things, etc., but it’s pretty rare for aqua dominant people to change their ways/mind; and if they do it has to be on their own terms & feel like it was their own choice/idea
they can have issues when it comes to embracing & accepting their emotions; they tend to intellectualize and try to rationalize everything they feel (this will depend heavily on the individual’s moon though)
tend to be musically and/or artistically inclined, usually the most talented and creative people you’ll ever meet (i find most aquarians use art/music as an outlet; and a huge chunk of aquarius stelliums i’ve “studied” or read for have made their careers in the art fields)
i’ve noticed they tend to stutter a lot when speaking! aquarian dominant people (esp aquarius moons, mercurys) have this habit of speaking before they’ve actually formed the thought/planned out what they were gonna say: so they kinda of just “sjlkfdjdlkf” irl sometimes or take a while to finish their sentence (scattered speaking style)
they don’t like talking about their emotions/feelings unless they can be self-deprecating about it or make a relatable meme/joke out of it
very analytical people and they overthink anything and everything that people say and do (especially with aquarius moon and/or mercury)
they’re quite blunt, they don’t generally sugarcoat things and can be as cutthroat as aries/capricorn are stereotyped to be
on that note, they often just say what’s on their mind at the time and they don’t intend to hurt people, they just don’t often realize the things they’re saying are hurtful/too blunt
aquarians are very, ‘why would i filter myself for someone? i don’t want people to filter to me’, and it can be hard for them to understand some people’s sensitivities in conversation
they really despise copycat or reflector-type individuals; their biggest turn-offs tend to be those who follow the crowd, don’t think for themselves, mold themselves for others, etc
aquarians can take a really, really long time to fall in love i find, as they tend to not care for it and usually just view people in a “friend way”, but once they find “their person” they are 100000% committed and will probably make big steps (from saying “i love you” to straight up moving in together, marriage, etc) very fast
undeveloped they do run a habit of having “hot and cold” relationships; a tendency to become super attached very fast only to flip the switch and detach shortly after, usually after they lose interest or become too comfortable
on the topic of romance again, aquarians also (or at least as i’ve noticed) do not use “i love you” very easily or lightly, even if they DO love you and you’re best friends/in a committed long-term relationship/etc, they don’t use the phrase very often and tend to save it for very select times
again can have a lot of trouble expressing their feelings and emotions so they can be a bit awkward at first and for a while in relationships
again they’re VERY independent and they need alone/recharging time or they’ll get very frustrated and anxious
they get very protective of their creations, ideas and style; so when they feel they’re being imitated; or when their ideas are criticized; they get extremely upset and defensive 
also very humanitarian!! i’ve noticed despite most aquarians being like “oh i hate the world/society/people/etc” they have this constant, inner need to help people/the environment/the world and tend to be really passionate about it (aquarius energy is very “fuck the world!! im gonna still save it tho”)
aquarian stelliums probably had an emo phase and if they managed to escape it they probably still dress like they’re in their emo phase lol
depending on their ascendant/midheaven they likely have a pretty unique sense of style as well; i find those with strong aquarian influence often wear very “stand out”, “in your face” and original outfits; very much the type to constantly be changing their hair colour & makeup styles as well (they like wearing things or having aesthetics that tend to shock others; they secretly enjoy getting reactions out of people)
these individuals are very committed to their work and hobbies, they tend to put those above everything else in their life. a lot of people forget the aquarian connection to saturn; aquarians are usually very committed to their jobs and work very hard when they’re in the work-zone
their friends tend to be a hugely significant part of their life too; aquarius moons/venuses especially tend to talk about their close friends ALL the time and they’re very, very protective of them (so loyal)
aquarius stelliums tend to have lots of acquaintances but only a few select close friends (and even most of those close friends they don’t fully open up to)
usually struggles with intimacy and vulnerability 
they tend to radiate a lot of natural confidence and security in themselves, despite how insecure they may feel inwardly 
not to stereotype, but they do usually tend to be drawn to obscure, occult or controversial things. often the types to have “weird” hobbies, interests or habits
often very into, or open to, things like astrology, conspiracy theories, spirituality, etc! but they do think very rationally and logically, so they like to analyze and pick apart these things at the same time, they don’t just accept and follow these things (they have no issue with picking apart their own passions and interests either, so if you debate an aquarius they probably already know what you’re gonna say lol)
usually have the nagging desire to be known (whether it be famous, or just accepted/loved by many/friends/family/etc); they likely felt misunderstood and abandoned their entire life (namely in childhood) so now they have a huge craving to be in the spotlight; although they hate admitting this
aquarians have the ability to fit in well with many types of people, yet often in childhood they were excluded and/or subjects of bullying i’ve noticed (oftentimes from their own family), which is part of the reason why they frequently grow up lacking a feeling of “belonging” or feel like “outsiders”; they deep down crave to be accepted and embraced/have fans/supporters
aquarius stelliums often struggle with fears of abandonment which contributes more to their isolation habits and independent “i dont need anyone but me and my spotify playlists” nature
they despise being controlled, tied down or told what to do; often if you tell an aquarius not to do something they’ll go out of their way to do it, even if they initially didn’t want to do said thing lol (the house that’s in aquarius will show the area of life in which they “rebel” the most; or are the most uncontrollable/free/independent) 
random note: i also find aquarius stelliums are frequently very awkward around children/don’t usually desire nor want any at all
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allegra-writes · 2 years
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I’ve been meaning to write this since I first found your Hopeless Romantic series, and with the newest chapter I just absolutely have to tell you how deeply this story has shaken me to the core.
Billy as Jigsaw was always meant to be problematic but you’ve written him into a story where he isn’t the villain in quotes but something more. Beloved monster comes to mind, and yet I feel that the goal of the story wasn’t to romanticize the monster in him — rather have us question the whole dynamic of love (or what we think is love) and monsters (or what we think are monsters.)
Your story plays the fine balance between questionable motivations and unquestionable passions… and I like how it lets the reader decide which side to take. Billy isn’t sainted or sanitized, Y/N’s inner turmoil about him isn’t blind to his crimes and in fact holds him accountable; but she also sees him for more than the atrocities he’s committed. If she loves him, she isn’t being a fool; but the writing won’t explain that easily away. Your story goads the reader into thinking of how much knowing the fractured fraction of the man weighs against the beast he’s become.
I am utterly riveted by this series which also breaks my heart with lines like, “You feel like fucking Valhalla.” The betrayal is raw, and yet so is hope.
Will be eagerly, eagerly awaiting the next chapter. Cheers and all the very best to you.
I had tears in my eyes while reading this because this is exactly what I wanted to transmit, almost word by word. One of the reasons I fell in love with darkfic, or rather, the darkfic community here on Tumblr, is that, contrary than popular belief, they don't romanticised their villains. Them being hot doesn't diminish their crimes, if anything, it only makes them more terrible. Because beauty and charm is another weapon they know exactly how to wield.
No, they're very much villains, they're evil, their monsters. But in a more human way, they're not caricatures of everything wicked that you can't relate to or relate them to real people in the real world. They're scarier because we know them, we have met them, in the news or some of us even had the misfortune of crossing paths with them. But exactly because of that, because they're human, they are not only the monstrous acts they commit. Am I saying they are redeemable? Am I saying they deserve to be saved? No.
I am saying that, when you get too close to them, sometimes, just sometimes, it's difficult to remember the terrible acts they committed, because that's not everything they do.
Billy Russo is a Narcissist. Almost a textbook one in the show. And well, I happen to have some experience with those in real life. Narcissists can be oh so charming, so dotting, so manipulative... I'm not even saying their feelings aren't genuine, but they definitely know how to use them to their advantage. Billy probably could and would give the Reader the life he promises her, doing everything to make her happy and spoiling her rotten, all the better to tie her to him. A narcissist wants nothing more than being the only source of happiness in your life, your stability, your provider. It's all part of the trap, so you never leave them, so if one day you do, you find yourself alone in the world with no choice but to crawl back to them. There is a line that David Bowie says in the movie Labyrinth, "Fear me, love me, do as I say, and I will be your slave" that's exactly what a narcissist is and that was my main inspiration for this Billy's dynamic with the Reader.
Now, she isn't the usual preferred victim of a narcissist: She is experienced, fiercely independent, with iron strong connections and relationships in her life, with some psychology training, as a nurse or as an army medical personnel I let that to the readers' imaginations, so, on an intellectual level, she kind of can see Billy's MO. Does it stop her from walking straight into his trap? Well...
How many times do we know someone we're attracted to is problematic yet we ignore the warnings? How many times do we see the red flags and walk straight through them? How many times do we know the person we're falling for could probably annihilate us... But we go for it anyway? Maybe you're smarter or have better survival instincts than me. But if you're anything like me, or Halsey (just read the lyrics to "Graveyard"), or Taylor Swift (read what she has to say about her song "Treacherous") or Leigh Bardugho (her whole grisha trilogy), chances are you will look at the red flags and wave them as you pass them by at least once in your life. Some people are mad at Leigh because in her book "Shadow and Bone" there wasn't a big villain reveal for the Darkling: Her Alina never trust the Darkling so she wasn't surprised when he turned out to be the villain. Yet that didn't stop her, in the meantime, to start a relationship with him. That for me was the most realistic part of her characterization.
But she did fail in making the Darkling little more than a stereotyped, caricature villain, and that's exactly the template I used on what to avoid with this Billy.
Does this mean this story is a cautionary tale? Hardly. What I'm trying to avoid is exactly what she did at lecturing the readers. I would love my readers to take a message out of his series, tho, and that message is that they're not being judged and they are NOT ALONE, wether they've had some experience with real life narcissistic people or are just going through this journey with Y/N and feel as conflicted as her.
Thank you so much for sending this thoughtful ask, if this series totally flops, it would still be worth it to know it reached one person in this way💖💖💖
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aerltarg · 3 years
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Maybe this is a stupid question, buuuuut:
I just can't imagine a world that Rhaegar comes back from the Trident, wins the war and becomes king. No, I'm not a anti Rhaegar, matter of fact I like him very much, I'm just can imagine how would Lya, little Jon, this whole affair, would settle in the capital. The norm that fics (at least those I read) tend to follow is to make Rhaegar:
1. A douche, paranoid and destiny-obessed king.
2. Completely incompetent, aloof monarch, that deep down has a heart of gold, but can't really be understood.
I mean, isn't he supposed to be a scholar since he was a kid? What's are your thoughts about it?
oh, yeah, i can totally understand this! it's is the whole point in canon actually, "the wrong man came back from the trident". you would expect a hero win against his antagonist and have a happy ending w his lady love but it doesn't happen. instead the subversion happens to them with rhaegar being killed by robert who becomes obviously a shitty king and lyanna dying after him. they were never supposed to have happy ending, they were created as tragic and doomed and dead from the beginning for the whole plot to start, jon to have his parentage mystery and dany to take the passed baton as the last dragon, prophesied savoir and the heir who has to carry entire house on her back now.
as for the realistic rhaegar wins aus that's the difficult question. tbh we just don't know enough abt their situation, plans and wishes. you see, e.g. in agot we can be right in ned's head and see his motivations, what he was thinking abt, what he was planning, what he was hoping to do. but if his story was told the way rhaegar's was i bet he would have his own crowd of haters and ~intellectuals~ jumping out every two seconds w their "hot takes" how actually all hints abt what rlly happened (ned being a good man w his own sense of honour, justice and experiences affecting him and the deal w cersei's children) doesn't matter and he was an ambitious prick, planned to grasp the power by being joffrey's regent and make his daughter sansa queen. (you can actually insert there any bullshit and still don't reach the level of stupidity of such "hot takes" this fandom loves so much lmao). also he would be blamed to the hell and beyond for being too stupid and not foreseeing the future and actions of other ppl bc ofc after everything happened it's so easy to say what was so obvious to notice. also they would say that the deaths of his men and horrible fates of his kids are 100% his fault and even straight up say he killed them lmao. i can rant abt it for hours so yeah. this is a situation w too many unknown variables bc it depends too much on actions of too many characters we don't know enough abt. the only thing it's possible to tell for sure is the fact that there couldn't be any perfect solutions since things got too complicated at this point.
such fics as you've mentioned tho are just a part of this dumb fanon where rhaegar is "too prophecy obsessed"/"incapable of love"/shrodinger's rhaegar both smart and stupid at the same time/whatever/all of this combined lmfao. the man was notably intelligent from the early age as you've absolutely rightly mentioned, his guesses abt himself being tptwp have nothing to do w egocentrism as some parts of the fandom would want us all to believe unless he wouldn't be so reasonable abt it and later on, after so many years, wouldn't have changed his mind and thought his son could be tptwp.
and literally fuck all antis that think you shouldn't consider prophecies that hold real power in this fantasy world lol. you know, aegon the conqueror was said to be motivated (or at least partly) to unify westeros by the prophecy and still got the treatment of perfect/maximum close to perfect figure of a leader everyone should look up to from the narrative and grrm. prophecy obsessed much, huh? i don't even talk abt all these parallels between him and rhaegar grrm put there not for bitches to ignore them completely! and i will never get tired of reminding that dismissing prophecies is UNWISE for targaryens of all people. the house whose story is built on the dream of young daenys and her father aenar that listened to her despite common sense (or what local "anti magic"/"anti prophecies" clowns consider to be common sense). targs would be as dead as the rest of dragonlords if not for daenys the dreamer. who else in the world has as many reasons to take prophecies seriously as them?
yet antis out there act as if rhaegar is one dimensional weirdo whose every character trait is abt mf ~prophecy obsession~. like how can they miss one of the main points so badly?? the game of thrones distracts ppl from the real danger beyond the wall, yk, the one rhaegar was aware of and meant to deal with. there wouldn't be such a problem if he became king and had as many years of head start before ice zombies apocalypse as ignorant bobby b did. rhaegar had to die just for westeros to sink in shit and our main heroes to save everyone to make this story more epic LMAO
so yeah, too many ppl portray rhaegar as this one dimensional robotic creature without any knowledge of what feelings are idk even for what reason. it seems these ppl can't read for real bc rhaegar was not only intelligent af as well as dutiful ("it seems i must be a warrior" but "he loved his harp more than his lance") but also. ugh emotional?? my boy had constant emo sessions w brooding at ruins of summerhall, sleeping out there beneath the stars all alone and writing songs that made all women cry. does it sound as someone who "isn't capable of love" lol? folks act as if he was completely heartless from the day he was born (bc he didnt play w other kids ig??) but in reality their emotional range is less than the one of a spoon in comparison to rhaegar's lol. i'm not even gonna address the horrible attitude of demonizing him for his implied depression, vile clowns never listen to themselves when they talk abt targaryens and their "madness".
tldr; these fics are mostly lame af and suck at characterization if they're making rhaegar like that lol. anyway his character isn't abt being a good or a bad king, it's abt being a would-be-king for characters in books and readers in reality to sigh over his tragic aura and pretty aesthetic abt how it could've been. however, grrm clearly doesn't write rhaegar as evil or incapable as some parts of the fandom would want to try to persuade others. realistically speaking in the scenario where he wins there couldn't be any perfect decisions but it's a territory of speculations on thin air and lit nothing more since canon doesn't provide us with enough information to rlly theorize anything instead of building biased headcanons some ppl call "analysis".
but remember what barristan said about rhaegar while practically watching him all his life, from a literal baby to the man grown:
“I know little of Rhaegar. Only the tales Viserys told, and he was a little boy when our brother died. What was he truly like?”
The old man considered a moment. “Able. That above all. Determined, deliberate, dutiful, single-minded.” (ASOS, Daenerys I)
“Prince Rhaegar’s prowess was unquestioned, but he seldom entered the lists. He never loved the song of swords the way that Robert did, or Jaime Lannister. It was something he had to do, a task the world had set him. He did it well, for he did everything well. That was his nature. But he took no joy in it. Men said that he loved his harp much better than his lance.” (ASOS, Daenerys IV)
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kumawrites · 4 years
Text
what are you, my sugar daddy? (pt. 1)
☆ ushijima wakatoshi x reader ☆
☆ - 3.9k words
☆ - a/n: aight ushijima fuckers here y’all go. but like,,,, me too tho i’m a proud member of the ushijima club. alternatively titled, “y/n has good morals (unlike me) and ushijima really does not want to be sued”
☆ - taglist (ask to be added): @miceonmars
//
When you said you wanted to be hit by a car to pay for your tuition, that was a joke. A joke. Apparently, God didn’t quite catch that it was supposed to be a joke, and decided to bless you with what you asked for. A car! A car that ran you over at a crosswalk!
In retrospect, it was probably your fault. Sure, you were on your phone, too engrossed trying to read a tweet while walking, which was surprisingly hard as you couldn’t really keep focus on the words. But you could have SWORN that the light turned green. For you. Not for the car. You think. Well, maybe not. You really didn’t remember, too focused on the pain sizzling through your entire body to think straight. The (very expensive looking) car had hit your body head on, and while it wasn’t going too fast, you would probably be dead if it was, it was still a car. And your body was still in the street, just chilling.
And oh god, you still had to get to class. Not only were midterms just around the corner, but maybe you had spent too much time in class definitely not paying attention and rather playing a bootleg Club Penguin on your computer. Trigonometry is boring, and Club Penguin is not. But, your negligence to your studies was going to be your downfall if you didn’t actually start paying attention. And you had planned on it! Too bad your plans got ruined.
At least the sky was pretty today, and so was that guy. Wait, what? You’re well aware that there was a crowd surrounding your dead(?) body, but no one had really made it into your peripheral, probably too scared to move your body. You didn’t blame anyone for not getting too close to you, it was a good precaution to not get injured any further. But you noticed that one man was crouched over you, brows furrowed, phone next to his ear. He looked distressed. Wonder why? That was your last thought before you promptly passed out on the warm concrete.
When you came to, you knew you were in a hospital without even opening your eyes. The smell of the whole place was almost sickly, not surprising, hospitals are literally made for sick people. It smelled heavily of disinfectant and sadness. You hoped that you weren’t hooked up to a bunch of machines and that you weren’t missing any limbs. That would mean a longer stay, which did not sound optimal.
As you opened your eyes, you were absolutely blinded. No, not by the light, the windows were closed and you weren’t even next to them. But by the extremely attractive man, sitting in your room on his phone. Well, that’s new. It wasn’t like you knew who he was, no one that hot was actively associating themselves with you. You didn’t have time to process who the mystery man might be before we turned his head from his phone and locked eyes with you.
“Hello.” He spoke with a deep rumble in his voice. Wow, that’s hot.
You attempted to greet him in return, but your voice crackled leading you into a coughing fit. The man furrowed his brows, and suddenly you recognized him. He was the one that was crouched down by your body! While you were presumably coughing up your lungs, the man quickly left the room. And there he went. Maybe he was an angel. Maybe God sent him down as an apology for not reading the entire request. That was probably it. Hot people like that definitely didn’t exist in the real world.
Too focused on the crazy thoughts in your head, you didn’t notice that he actually came back! With a nurse! Oh. He came back?
So he was real, you deduced. Well, when you were able to get words out of your dry throat, you’d ask him his skincare routine. And workout routine. And well, his life routine at this point. It was like there were no faults, physically at least. He was probably a psychopath who broke into your hospital room to kill you. Yeah. That’s it.
You weren’t paying attention to reality, and didn’t even notice the nurse leave to go call a doctor. And then there were two. You only snapped out of your very deep and intellectual thoughts when he cleared his throat.
“Hello. Again. I apologize, it seems I hit you with my car.” His brows furrowed once again, and you were extremely tempted to tell him to stop, he would get premature wrinkles if he kept that up. But, you needed to have an actual conversation with this not so mystery man.
You took a breath and actually managed to speak this time, although it was still raspy. “Howdy.” Howdy? Did you really just say howdy? “It seems you did, huh?”
That was all you were able to get out before the nurse came back with a doctor. The doctor grabbed his rolly stool and sat down by your bed, explaining that you had only sustained minor injuries and were actually lucky since you didn’t hit your head. Your left leg, however, was a different story. Since that was the side you got hit on, your leg was basically in shambles. Okay, maybe that’s an exaggeration, but you wouldn’t be able to walk for quite a while, having broken your bones in multiple spots. Well, that sure did suck.
You didn’t have a car, so you were forced to walk everywhere. But, that didn’t really matter at this point. It wasn’t like you would be able to drive a car with a broken leg.
Other than your broken leg, you were basically fine, and would be able to be released from the hospital in a few days. They wanted to run some extra tests, just to make sure you wouldn’t die somehow due to your injuries when you got home.
The nurse then switched out one of your IV bags and promptly left with the doctor, after making sure you didn’t have any further questions, leaving you alone in the room with the handsome man.
You didn’t really know what to say to start off the conversation, but luckily, he started. “Do you feel okay?” He questioned and you had to ponder that. Yeah, for the most part you did feel fine. But you hadn’t gotten out of the bed, and whenever you shifted your hips they ached. So, a solid maybe? But you didn’t want to make him feel bad, so you simply nodded your head.
“Yeah. Aside from the leg, obviously, I feel alright.” You shrugged as you examined your casted leg. Your gaze shifted from your left leg to the man, sitting a safe distance away from you. He looked rather stiff, with his hands properly placed in his lap. His posture was impeccable, and you bet he didn’t have back pain when we woke up in the morning, lucky bastard. You also noticed the very expensive looking watch, adorning his left wrist. Then you remembered just what kind of car hit you. It was for sure some fancy car, but you were no car expert, so you had no idea what model or even brand it was. But that meant this man had money. Good for him.
“I’d like to make up for it. If you’re okay with it, I’d like to pay your hospital bills.” Your eyebrows shot up, not expecting that. Honestly, you were ready to take the L and go into debt to the hospital. And then probably pitifully ring up your parents and beg for some money. It wasn’t like your family was poor, but they were for sure not rich. While they’re able to keep themselves afloat, you weren’t sure what a presumably large hospital bill would do to their finances. And they really weren’t responsible for you at this being, being that you’re in college and living on your own. So simply taking this stranger's money would be super easy, right?
It would! If you didn’t feel extremely responsible for the entire situation. Damn it good morals! Why did they have to come out now! Thinking back on the accident, it was most certainly your fault, and taking this law-abiding citizen’s money just rubbed you the wrong way. Yeah, he was rich, but he seemed genuinely extremely apologetic. If that was what the furrowed brows meant. You were just assuming. You were also assuming that he was a law abiding citizen, but his presence alone almost guarantees it. Almost.
“Don’t worry about it. I appreciate the offer, but this whole situation is for sure my fault. My carelessness led to your car, uh, hitting me. So don’t worry about it. I’ll just call my parents, and figure something out.” You said as you brushed your fingers through your ratty hair, attempting to get the knots out. It was a mess, and you couldn’t even see it. You wondered what you looked like, probably not hot. The man, however, did not seem pleased by your response, somehow managing to furrow his brows even more at your response.
“No, I insist. Please let me pay for your bills.” He seemed almost offended that you attempted to decline his offer.
Nonetheless, you weren’t about to allow yourself to mooch off of a stranger, even if he looked rich. “Thank you, but it just feels wrong, you know? They can’t be too bad.” Somehow you knew that sentence was going to bite you in the ass later. You gave him a slight smile and before he was able to respond to your foolishness, his phone dinged. He looked down at his phone, and abruptly stood up, and wow, he was tall. But you almost expected him to be this giant, since his whole being and presence was just like his height, large. You blinked at him, as he looked almost distressed as you kept looking at you and then back at his phone. He sighed as he slipped his phone in his windbreaker.
The man glanced around the room until he found a slip of paper and a pen. He quickly scribbled down something and then handed the paper to you. “I have to go, but here’s my contact information. Please don’t hesitate to call if you need anything.” And with that, he left the room. You looked down at the paper and read his name, Ushijima Wakatoshi. Huh. Sounded familiar, but you just couldn’t quite put your finger on it. You shrugged and put the contact into your phone, knowing that you would somehow manage to lose the paper if you didn’t.
You were fully prepared to never call him, however, still not wanting to make him pay for anything.
//
Your eyes almost fell out of your head as you read the bill. Was it even possible for a number to be that big? The amount of digits was almost offensive to look at, and your roommate, Kaori, seemed to agree.
“Y/N, that number is going to give me a migraine, please put it away.” She dramatically sighed as she sprawled out on your bed, next to your sitting, basically frozen body. You break one leg! Just one! And this is how much that costs? You’d have to sell your soul and kidney to even begin to pay the bill.
“If I throw this bill away, do you think it’d just disappear?” You asked, fully prepared to rip the paper in half.
“Hmm.. Probably not! I don’t think the IRS would be too happy with that. Wait, is that was the IRS is for? You know, I don’t know. But it’s worth a try!” Kaori and her many words of wisdom never seem to get old.
“Very helpful Kaori.” You sighed and flopped down next to her. She instinctively began to scratch your scalp, as a way of support. Whenever you were stressed or upset or anything, you’d come to Kaori and ask her to scratch your scalp. It felt good, and she knew where all of the best spots were. “I don’t know how I’m going to pay for this, especially without letting my parents know. They’d seriously castrate me, Kaori. I would be dead. Deceased.” You dramatically wailed, and Kaori just kept running her fingers through your hair.
“Didn’t you say the guy who hit you offered to pay for it?” She arched her eyebrow and you sighed.
“Yeah.. But I just feel bad? You know? Then again, he looked like he wanted to pay.”
“Then let him! There’s your solution. Call him up right now and explain that you’re just a little too broke to pay for them and would very much appreciate his financial support.” She sat up and removed her fingers from your scalp, causing you to groan. She grabbed your phone, unlocked it, you had given her the passcode ages ago, and opened your phone app. “I’ll even call him for you! Well, press the call button. You need to talk to him. What was his name?” She asked as she scrolled through your contact list.
“I don’t know, uhh, Ushijima? Yeah, Ushijima. I think?” You casually mentioned and didn’t even notice how Kaori’s eyes went wide with shock.
“Sorry, what?”
“Huh?” You turned your head towards her at the sound of her confusion.
“What.. What did you say his name was?” Kaori looked shell shocked and you had no idea why.
“Ushijima..? I forgot his first name, it was Waka something. Umm, Waka, Wakatoshi? Yeah, that’s it. Ushijima Wakatoshi. Why, do you know him or something?”
“Know him? Do I know him!? Y/N, he’s a D1 athlete! Ushijima Wakatoshi hit you with his car! Oh my God, Ushijima hit you with his mcfreaking car!” Kaori exclaimed, and you could only look at her in confusion. You genuinely had no idea who that man was, other than the man who ran you over, but apparently he’s a big deal. To Kaori at least. You listened to her as she spoke on and on about Ushijima and how great of a volleyball player he is. Apparently, in high school he was one of the top aces in the country. Honestly, you didn’t know what an ace was, but you nodded along to whatever Kaori said, knowing that she was a manager for her highschool’s volleyball team and a sports medicine major.
“So, basically, what you’re saying is, I got run over by a super famous athlete? Is that it?” You blinked at her as she finished her speech that was basically about the entire history of men’s volleyball. You learn something new everyday.
She nodded enthusiastically and re-unlocked your phone, in search of one name. “And that’s why you need to call him! Think about the scandal of it all! ‘Famous Athlete Brutally Runs Over Innocent College Student’! He definitely does not want that on the news.”
“Well, first of all it wasn’t brutal. The only thing broken about me is my leg. Second, I’m pretty sure I’m the one who caused the whole thing, so I’m not innocent. And finally, I’m not going to blackmail him into paying for my bills.” You rolled your eyes playfully at your roommate and she huffed.
“Fine, fine. At least call him so he knows you’re still, well, alive.” She handed you your phone back, and his contact was already dialed. You groaned at Kaori and put the phone up to your ear as there was no going back.
After about the fourth ring, the line was picked up. “Hello?” Ushijima’s deep voice managed to sound deeper over the phone, and you had no idea how that worked, but this wasn’t the time to think about that.
“Uh, hey, Ushijima? It’s Y/N, the person you, uh, hit with your car.” Was it even possible for you to sound even more awkward? Out of the corner of your eye, Kaori was muffling her giggling and you threw a nearby pillow at her face, which she caught. Stupid sports majors with their stupid athleticism.
“Hello, Y/N. How do you feel?” Even though you had only spoken to Ushijima once, you could tell what kind of person he was. Blunt and didn’t have a lot of words to say. He was probably the kind of person that didn’t bother sugarcoating anything. Respectable.
You hummed in response. “I’m okay. My leg doesn’t hurt, but I guess that’s because I can’t really feel it? Or something.” You bit your lip and an awkward silence fell over the phone call. “Um, how are you?” You asked completely out of formality and because you had no idea what else to say. Holding a conversation seemed like it wasn’t going to be easy.
“I’m fine. Y/N, I’d like to ask to pay your hospital bills once again.” Oh, you were right. He went straight to the point.
“I really appreciate it, but like I said before, I definitely caused the accident. It’s not your responsibility to pay for my bills. They’re, uh, not really that much anyways. Haha.” Could he tell you were lying? Kaori sure could, and even you could recognize how fake your voice sounded.
Apparently, he could tell that you were lying. “I asked to see how much the bill was when I was at the hospital, and it is not a small amount, Y/N.”
“Oh. Uh. Well, I guess you’re right. But still! It feels a little icky?”
“I don’t mind paying. My job pays me very well. I can easily pay your bills. Are you in college?” He asked out of the blue, following his not so subtle flex. Okay, he probably didn’t mean to flex, didn’t seem like that kind of guy, but boy he sure did.
“Sure am. I’m in my second year, dying.” Groaning, you remembered all of the schoolwork you have to catch up on after putting it off AND getting hit by a car. You wouldn’t be surprised if you failed Trig. But you probably shouldn’t.
He grunted in response. “Do you drive?” Ushijima asked another odd question that seemed to have come from nowhere.
You didn’t know how that had any correlation with the current conversation at hand, but you responded anyways. “Oh, no I don’t. I usually just walk everywhere, not that hard to do. Well, maybe now it might be.” The annoying realization that you couldn’t just simply walk everywhere had just hit. Again. When you remembered earlier at the hospital, you simply forgot all about it! A true way of solving your problems! But what an inconvenience getting hit by a car is. At least you got to meet someone who could be considered a celebrity. And he was hot! Really, it was a win-win. No, that’s a lie. Your leg is broken and you’re suffering from crippling debt. But you still met a hot guy!
“I’m going to pay the hospital bill, Y/N.” Ushijima bluntly stated and snapped you out of your daze You honestly almost replied with a ‘yessir’. He was just so confident, how could you argue with that? Wait, how were you supposed to argue with that? The whole goal of it is for him to not pay your bills, but how is he so damn convincing with just a few words? He’s truly an enigma.
“Please, Ushijima, it’s really fine. I think. Wait no, ignore that. I’m very much confident that I am fine. Yeah. That.” Your voice wavered as you panicked and your eyes darted to Kaori, watching your dumbass in amusement.
“Excuse me for a bit.” It didn’t seem like Ushijima had cared to listen to your babbling, and simply hung up. You put your phone down from your ear and stared at it. What? He just excused himself? Can he do that? Well, of course he can do that. It’s Ushijima Wkaatoshi, and at this point, you were pretty sure that he was capable of doing anything if he really wanted to.
Kaori crawled back next to you and tilted her head. “Did you hang up on him?” She curiously stared at your phone, displaying the recents page of your phone calls.
“Uhh. No. I didn’t, at least. He was just like, excuse me, and hung up?”
“Huh.” Kaori simply vocalized.
“Huh for sure.” You agreed.
Before you had time to even think a cohesive thought, for once in your life, your phone rang. You looked down at the display to see that it was Ushijima calling. Well, he did say excuse me, implying that he was coming back, but you didn’t really have the time to process his words before he hung up, just minutes ago. You stared at your phone before you answered, still trying to wrap your head around what was going on.
“Uhh, hello? Ushijima?” You answered your phone.
“I paid your bills. Please do not worry about them. They were quite significant.” You choked. Kaori stared at you like you had just grown two heads, presumably hearing Ushijima’s words. He, he just, did it? This man just paid your bills? Like it was nothing? Was he allowed to do this? It wasn’t like you weren’t relieved that someone else took care of your ridiculous bill. At this point, you were just downright impressed! Ushijima really just did that, huh. A true display of big dick energy, if you must say yourself.
It was almost impossible to find a way to reply to him, after all of this insisting that you were completely fine and he didn’t have to cover the bill. Apparently, you must be really bad at pretending since you were definitely not fine. Or maybe Ushijima is just incredibly perceptive. You weren’t for sure, and you also weren’t for sure if you’d ever figure out. Actually, you’re well aware that you’re a shitty liar.
“I would also like to cover your physical therapy and transportation until you completely recover.” Well that statement certainly gave you whiplash. It was almost as his expensive car ran you over again. He wants to what?
“Wait, hold on. Okay, so first, thank you for paying my bill, but really you didn’t have to. I’ve said this enough, but it really was my fault. And you don’t have to cover anything else, the hospital bill was just enough. I seriously can’t thank you enough, and I’m fine and alive. You really don’t have to do anything else.” You explained and hoped you didn’t come across in an ungrateful way. This man had just paid your unreadably expensive hospital bill, after all. He was showing you so much kindness already that you really didn’t know what to do. Your kindness acceptance meter was full.
Even after your mini speech, it still seemed like he didn’t care. “Please send me your schedule for classes and your address. If you want anything, do not hesitate to call me. That includes food, or anything you want. It does not matter. I have to go now. Please take care. I will see you soon.” And with that, he hung up, leaving you shell shocked. Did this mean what you think it meant? Anything? Seriously, anything? You were very much sure that this was far past the usual situation. Ah yes, the usual situation where a famous athlete hits a dumb college kid with his car. Happens all of the time.
But you were pretty sure that it wasn’t a normal thing to be offered food, or as he said, anything you want. Wait a minute. Wait a damn minute.
“So?” Kaori was looking at you expectantly.
“Okay so, I don’t know if this is how it works but, I think, just maybe, I got a sugar daddy?”
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nastyatticman · 3 years
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do you have your own idea of Billy's backstory? I know a lot of people like to change it up bcuz of the more. unsavory implications of it, but also most people just have different interpretations so im curious to know yours!
Yes I do! Kind of... I plan to write up some miscellaneous headcanons and tidbits.
I don’t have like a solid canon story for him but a pretty vague idea with some details. I just don’t want to post it all at once bc I’d feel like it’s set in stone and I can’t change it or something? Idk. So I’d rather post stuff in parts & add more later
The thing about changing it is that like, on one hand I don’t want to totally make Billy or any other characters too OOC by making them too nice or writing away their flaws. But on the other when I’m writing fluff or smut to just relax I don’t want the baggage of like, “it was a nice day to go on a date with your boyfriend Billy Lenz, who burns down orphanages for fun” yknow? Like I want a balance of both.
For now tho my idea about his backstory is subject to some changes depending on if I put him in the 70s or not lol but some stuff is constant.
(TW: Domestic Abuse)
Billy grows up in a lower middle class family where his dad was at work most of the time so he stays home with his mom, who’s not equipped to handle all the work at home and taking care of a kid who may have some kind of mental illness or intellectual disability or something.
His sister Agnes is born and even if his mother says she loves them equally, little Billy can tell something doesn’t add up.
His mother isn’t as bad as the remake but she’s still abusive. Not necessarily because she hates Billy but it’s more of a cycle of abuse situation where she’s probably passing on what she grew up with. His dad is neglectful at best
His parents’ marriage deteriorates over time and the kids get caught up in it somehow. The favoritism is blatant & the parents get at each other by using their kids in their arguments
I still think Billy was abusive in some way to his younger sister but I wouldn’t keep certain aspects of the abuse that are implied. He sounded pretty young in one of the calls where he acts out a fight between him & his parents so my interpretation is that sometimes it was him being a careless kid instead of actively trying to hurt her. And even when he did it would be more like rude sibling shit, like pulling her hair.
I’m imagining Agnes gets bigger and stronger and scratches the shit out of him lol he kinda deserves it. Fighting does not work in Billy’s favor since his mom always believes Agnes over him and even when his dad is home he’s too tired to really care
For some reason or another the kids are separated and Agnes gets to live far away from Billy who’s ... somewhere
Like idk maybe he ends up in foster care or at some kind of boarding school and as soon as he turns 18 he’s OUT
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cwnhyunwoo · 3 years
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hiiii sorry i’m late! this is ryu hyunwoo, who is a second tier prince from the kingdom of spades and the surrogate premade. he’s generally pretty happy-go-lucky despite having the (figurative) weight of the world sitting on his shoulders and also kinda one of the strongest candidates for the throne (sue him!)
u can read (more) all about him (kinda) HERE or check out a terribly haphazard plots page HERE and i will give a general infodump under the cut! if ya wanna plot unfortunately it will have to be lowkey cryptidly through ims bc i don’t have discord or twitter </3 but if you LIKE THIS i will message you as soon as i am free from the clutches of life </3 
or if you see a plot you like, feel free to message me too! 
mild tw for parental death
was not born a noble
unbeknownst to him his birth father was actually a terrible terrible person and left his mother after getting her pregnant 
but she loved him all the same even though he looked kinda like his dad and she raised him (in his opinion) very well on her own
she was a seamstress/tailor and made handmade clothes and also mended torn clothes for a living so he also knows how to sew! 
a nobleman from spades met her randomly once and fell in love w her and kept coming back to the little town they lived in and courted her and gave hyunwoo presents and stuff
eventually they got married and he and his mom moved into the kingdom with his stepdad
he loves his stepdad a lot
his mom passed when he was eighteen, right after he had become a prince and he likes to think she had held out to see him succeed
really enjoys learning in general and spends a lot of his free time in a corner of the library. he enjoys all types of books but science fiction is definitely one of his favourites
also enjoys music and plays the piano!!
(like pick a struggle dude)
he likes to give off this sort of naive, too pure for this world cinnamon roll image because of his face HAHA fr tho he’s definitely an Intellectual and decently cunning behind this facade but he thinks its funny when people underestimate him bc he has that ~princely~ image going on
like frfr most people probably think he’s an “”””Ideal Prince”””” candidate and to an extent he is
also the queen of spades likes him a lot and acts like she’s the son she never had so that could probably warrant some dislike/distaste haha
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