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senju-sekhmet · 3 years

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The Leash (Part 1)

Summary: Your rescue was supposed to be as smooth as these missions can be. However very quickly, Tobirama faces off against an enemy that has no form, color or smell - and time is running short, very fast. Unless he figures out what truly holds you hostage, your life will be lost. Warnings (for the finished work): Blood, illness, descriptions of heavy injuries and graphic violence, torture (both depicted and implied), needles, morally grey territory, human experimentation, panic attacks, character death ~6800 words (this chapter, finished work: 80.000) Disclaimer below the cut!

DISCLAIMER! This is a purely self-indulgent work I didn’t think I’d publish anywhere - but ultimately, if just one other person enjoyed this, it’d be worth it, right?. However, all of this is catering entirely to what I was feeling at the time of writing this (I’m the biggest sucker for hurt/comfort). It’s fairly possible the plot seems short on breath at times and even confusing because to me it just… made sense. I had a string of scenes I wanted to write and so I did, if that makes sense.

Now for a more technical thing - I took a fair amount of liberty with all the ‘lore’ that is offered in the original work. I’m a huge high/fantasy fan and I believe you’ll notice with how chakra is used here. Also my personal headcanons for Tobirama, uh-huh. There is gonna be SCIENCE… and science-y work… uh-huuuuh... _______________ He practically flew past the trees. His heart pounded in his ears, but it wasn't exhaustion. What fuelled his movements was sheer desperation. And ire. Ice-cold fury burning against those that had taken from him what was amongst the most precious beings in his life. How could he have allowed for this to happen? If only he had paid closer attention. If only he had been there with you, he'd have prevented this, he'd have protected you - such thoughts were futile now. He wouldn't dwell on them anyhow, he was too consumed with ending the increasingly despairing search for you. They would come back at him later no doubt, but Tobirama would devote every single fiber of his very being to bringing you back to safety. Though he tried not to think of it - he knew, they hardly kept you in a cell only. It only made his blood boil more. The news of your MIA-status had hit him nearly like the death of his brothers had, many years ago. Beneath his feet, the floor had been ripped away for a moment, a punch to the gut that left him breathless. His love, in the hands of an enemy village that was not known for treating prisoners kindly. Your high status in Konoha no doubt aggravated the situation. A woke mind like Tobirama's would paint a gruesome picture of the fate that might befall you, and his stomach roiled. The cruel logic behind the action, the tactical approach - something he himself might have thought of. That made it worse. "We will find her," Hashirama had assured him, placing a hand on his shoulder. His gaze had fixated on his brother. He clenched his teeth. "Of course we will - I will not rest until she's back here, anija," he had replied, no, growled. A fierce promise which he intended to keep, no matter what. Hashirama was unfazed by the sincerity of the statement. "Neither will I," he promised. Then his brows had knitted in a way Tobirama did not like at all. His brother was about to say something of which he thought Tobirama might not appreciate it. "She is strong, Tobira-", "I know she is," he snapped back at him, "But she will not suffer for a second longer than she has to." Hashirama closed his eyes. "No, she will not." That had been weeks ago, now. Weeks in which Tobirama's desperation had grown by each passing day. Silently he had wondered if he had ever been in more distress to accomplish a mission before. He'd have to go with no. And progress was agonizingly slow. The enemy knew well to hide their traces, and even for his superior sensor skills, the trail was faint. Barely a whisper in the lush forests of the north-west parts Fire country. The sheer difficulty of the task made him almost balk. Almost. The truth was it worried him. He never found himself deteriorating himself in any way before, even when his own life had hung in the balance. The higher the stakes, the more collected he was. But now? Now he felt he was racing against a clock. And time was running out. For even your beautifully strong mind might break eventually. And he knew what happens to enemies that have no use anymore. The thought choked him at night. To never hold your warm body against his anymore - No. He would succeed. They had picked up on their trail, finally. He clenched his teeth. They would not get away. Tobirama just needed a single thread to unravel this knot and then follow it through the labyrinth, back to you. He rose a hand to bring the squad to a halt - composed of his brother and a couple of experienced jonin of the village, all long-standing comrades. Some even from the warring states period. He closed his eyes to touch the ground and send a pulse of chakra through the area, letting his sensor abilities give him an overview of the signatures in the area. Besides the overwhelming presence of his brother right next to him as well as the far more mute team members around, all he found was animals. Except - "To the east." His voice was devoid of anything except steely urgency.He didn't even look back to check if everyone kept in formation as they followed him. Finely tuned sensory skills had locked in on his target; an unknown chakra signature. Humanoid. In an area where no travellers should pass for there were no connecting roads, no villages to visit. It was what had led them here initially: traces of chakra where there should be none. You were here. Tobirama just knew. If only he had branded you with the hiraishin seal. A regret that festered in his heart in a most painful way. How careless. How stupid. He shoved it aside for later. It was useless now. They enclosed around the signature that soon proved to be not just humanoid, but human indeed. Naturally, they wouldn't give up on the element of surprise. And there still was a slight chance this might just be a civilian. A child, even. Tobirama didn't believe that. Maybe he didn't want to. But as soon as they had a line of sight on the target, walking on a narrow path in the woods - he just knew. This was a Hidden Stone Village Spy. No doubt scouting for any intruders near their hideout. Where they kept you. Tobirama bristled with white-hot rage as soon as the target was in viewing range. Almost, he directly lunged for the man dressed in inconspicuous, earthen-colored clothes. Almost. The team had spread around, hidden in the trees. Hashirama beat him to hailing the stranger. "Greetings," he announced amicably, arms spread, trademark smile. How he was still like this was beyond Tobirama. As gingerly as the First approached, as stormy his brother followed - scowling in such a condemning way the man flinched away. "G-greetings," he stuttered, eyes trained on Tobirama who was well aware of what he looked like now. Good. Let that man be scared. He well should be. His armor clanked as he crossed his arms in front of his chest, eyes narrowed to slits, assessing. "May I ask, what brings a man such as yourself to this remote area of the Fire country?", Hashirama inquired, ever friendly, slowly enclosing. "H-herbs," the man was quick to answer, still not looking away from Tobirama. Damn, that answer was sensible - almost. "Is that so? Then where are your gathering utensils? Bag? Or did you intend to rip it all out with your bare hands and stuff your pants full of it all?", Tobirama spat back, the undertone of his voice a perfectly fine, icy growl. Hashirama turned around to give his brother an incredulous gaze. Tobirama snorted. As if that was the worst he had ever said. The logic of his argument was sound nonetheless."I-I-I h-h-have t-t-them o-o-o-ver t-t-there," the man stammered, backing off slowly, lip quivering. He pointed to the trees - where some of the team hid. Perfect, Tobirama figured. Hashirama threw both hands up immediately in an apologetic manner. "Oh, don't worry, please! You must excuse my brother," he approached the man slowly, much like a one would a startled animal. The stranger wasn't swayed. He kept backing off. Then, he started to make a run. That was all the confirmation he needed. Immediately, Tobirama snatched a branded kunai from his satchel and threw it after the man with full force, uncaring if it might hit him - and a second later, the world lurched and he landed right beside him, where the weapon had buried itself in the ground. Swiftly, he tackled the man into the side, sending him off balance and into the ground. Another few finger signals later, a shadow clone of his had picked his target up, restraining his arms behind his back with one hand and securing the head with the other. "Tobirama!", Hashirama called out, no longer bothering to hide his fury. Already, he began to run over. Tobirama ignored him. "Search the area he pointed at for gathering utensils!", he shouted, seemingly at nowhere. Then his scarlet gaze was back on the man in front of him, arms crossing in front of his chest again. "Pray they find them," he spat. With a deep sigh and a shake of his head, Hashirama came to a halt next to him. "There was no need to-" "Shut up!", Tobirama didn't even spare him a glance. His brother sighed again, now in full kicked-puppy mode. Tobirama's anger flared again. He had no time for these antics. They needed to interrogate this man, now, and then continue with the information. "Lord Hokage!", a call echoed through the forest. Tobirama's head snapped around. One of the jonin returned. Kaori held up a satchel - but her mien was grave. A chill ran down Tobirama's spine. Had he made a mistake? His gaze swayed to the man who started to squirm against his clone's vice hold, earning him only a more bruising treatment. "What's in there?", he demanded immediately, ignoring the fact she had addressed Hashirama, actually. She turned the bag upside down, pouring the contents on the ground. Kunai, flares, paper bombs. Tobirama's heartbeat thrummed in his ears. He took a decisive step towards the man who suddenly had become very still. Hashirama backed off. Wisely. "Start talking. Now." A dangerous undercurrent leaked into his icy tone. The man stared back, defiantly. "Fine." Tobirama's patience had worn out. He was by no means a master of interrogation techniques - but he knew ways to amplify the intensity of a mental assault. He'd have no qualms using every bit of his ability on this person. Already, his clone was moving the man towards one of the trees. Brutally, he wrestled both arms above his head while pinning him against the trunk. Tobirama meanwhile had picked up the branded kunai he had thrown after the stranger earlier. When his clone had both palms aligned over one another he rammed the blade through the flesh. A scream accompanied the sickening crunch as steel forced itself past the metacarpal bones. Blood trickled down the arms of the man whose eyes were wide now. Behind Tobirama, his brother and the squad had gathered at a respectable distance. They didn't say a word. Either they didn't dare, or they had accepted one of them had to take up the tainting burden of the acts that were to follow. Tobirama didn't care at all for that. His mien was ice-cold, his glare as threatening as his intent towards the poor victim. He let his clone disappear. His hand slapped down on the man's scalp, closing his eyes. His chakra wound through the man's network like a snake in prey's den. Viciously, the man fought back, but the pain he had inflicted disrupted his focus. Good. Tobirama focused his own chakra to assault the vault with the information he desperately needed - the mind. Distantly, he heard a loud, anguished scream. A shudder went through the whole of the network, another attempt to buck the intruder off and out of his mind. Tobirama clenched his teeth. Already, he knew the man's chakra reserve was far inferior to his own - he might as well be able to simply overpower him much in a way that might best be described as metaphorical curb stomping. But that bore the risk of impairing the information stored in his mind. Very well, then. He reached into his satchel, procuring a second kunai. The man barely had time to register what Tobirama was doing before the weapon buried itself in his right forearm, hailed by another anguished scream that rang through an eerily calm forest. Tobirama stared him dead in the eye with a glance devoid of any emotion as he gave the weapon, nicely lodged between radius and ulna, a twist. A snap was heard. The scream intensified - then it broke off. The man huffed. "I won't tell you anything!", he shouted, panting, face red by the blood that was dripping down. "How very wrong you are." Tobirama sounded perfectly dejected, raising his hand again to once more assault the man's mind. Who laughed in reply."You think that will make me break?", he spat, "You'll never get that bitch back!" He threw his head back, laughing. Tobirama closed his eyes. His head was swimming with white-hot rage. In a moment of weakness, his mind painted deliciously cruel ways in which he might harm this man, kill him even - ways so despicable that for a moment, he was disgusted by himself, even. Distantly, surprised he’d stoop so low. They were just thoughts, anyway. Yet his body became numb besides ire and every fiber of his being felt like bellowing his rage at this man while he mangled his body beyond recognition for the sheer mention of you. "What you're doing to me is a joke compared to what we do to her, day in, day out," he continued then, finishing with the audacity to spit at Tobirama's white fur collar. "Oh, shit," he heard Kaori mumble behind him. Not a second later, Tobirama raised his leg and kicked with full force against the left thigh of the man, aiming for the femur. The snap was audible, the pain amplified by the way he sacked against the impaling hold of the kunai above his head. The scream was harrowing. But Tobirama wasn't finished. He raised his leg again. The right femur snapped just like the left one had, the howls of the man becoming incoherent screams of anguish, paused only by gasping for breath. Cruelly, the kunai had begun to further cut open his palms and his forearm as his legs wouldn't hold his body's weight anymore due to sheer pain. "Tobirama," a voice called out to him. Hashirama. His tone carried a warning. He didn't have the information yet. He needed the information first. He needed to know where you were. Now. With his heart hammering in his chest, he raised his arm again and grabbed the man's scalp again. This time, his assault was different than the first time. Not a pointed stab of chakra after winding his way through his network - this time, Tobirama let his presence suffocate the man from the inside. His network was a mess anyway - the pain was heavily impairing his control of his chakra now and Tobirama's own gargantuan chakra moved over his like a cruel invader, sparing no mercy for how mentally painful this was to him, how he must feel like being suffocated from the inside out by someone else. Distantly, the screams had picked up again. Tobirama let his chakra encircle around the man's mind; the brain - then he pulled closer. And closer. The man must have felt like someone was sawing his skull open. A few more seconds - then it was over. The fight inside stilled completely, and his victim had given in and him free reign to access every memory of the man. A millisecond later, Tobirama halted his assault and began to assess the information. Instantly, Tobirama knew this man's name was Akio, he was the youngest member of the newly formed Hidden Stone village's espionage team. He tossed that aside quickly to rip open the figurative drawer that held all the information about this mission. He knew, then. He knew it all. Where you were kept - what they had done to you. Well, all that Akio knew of. He wasn't one of the interrogators. Through his memories, he saw your face. Anguished, gaunt. But defiant. Alive. There was time, yet. Even though these memories made Tobirama tremble. It hit him with a force that nearly knocked the air out of his lungs simply for how heart-wrenching it was. He opened his eyes again to find the man limp against the bloodied tree. He gazed at his own palm, balling it to a fist. It shook. His heartbeat was all he heard. All of himself was entirely stiff and still from the sheer, utter rage that had completely become him. Again and again, the Akio's memories thrummed through Tobirama's skull, and with them, your screams of pain, your anguish, your whimpers of pain. Slowly, the scarlet eyes settled on the sorry excuse of an enemy in front of him. He didn't feel a shred of pity- "Tobirama!", a stern voice ripped him out of the tunnel of his emotions. His head turned to find Hashirama next to him now. "Enough, brother," he said - no, commanded. His hand had gripped Tobirama's wrist. Slowly, the fires of ire within were simmering down if just by the calming presence of his brother. Objectivity returned to Tobirama's mind, piece by piece. But no shred of regret. Or disgust. Objective accomplished. That he knew. "You have the information, no?", Hashirama pushed again, not letting up on the unmistakable sternness of his own tone. "I do." Tobirama's own voice was calm, collected. In a grotesque contrast to the atrocity he had just committed. In fact, clarity was settling in - his focus restored, though haunted. Perfectly in control, but still driven by desperate urgency. If anything, said urgency had kicked up a notch now.He had his target now. "Kaori, Daichi," Hashirama called, nodding for Akio. "Stabilise him and take him as prisoner back to Konoha." They confirmed their order and began their work. Tobirama turned around, not sparing the man another look. Luckily he also knew the enemy's numbers and their capabilities, roughly, from Akio's memories. They'd be no match for him and his brother, let alone with their jonin as backup. Soon, you'd be safe again. __________ The hideout was - befitting for shinobi of the Hidden Stone village - underground. Concealed so well that without the information coerced out of Akio, it would have been impossible to find. Tobirama had to give them that. But now they did not just know where it was located, but also how to get in without setting one of the deadly traps they had laced each of the two entries with. Smart. Akio had also been so generous to provide them with a mental map of the place, of course - functional it was, a narrow corridor, just a couple of rooms. Sleeping and living quarters, a weapons and supply chamber which also seemed to serve as a tactical planning room - and finally, the place Tobirama felt physically drawn to. The interrogation chamber. Adjoined, a holding cell fitted to be bereft of any chakra. Just another form of sensory deprivation. He could barely restrain himself from rushing in there full force and eliminate any obstacle in his way. He knew in this very moment, this very second, you were down there, suffering - and the thought wound around his chest and squeezed until his breaths came uneven and his heart stuttered. Until he believed to be in physical pain. But Tobirama also knew how precarious the situation was. The team had gathered at a respectful distance to discuss their plan. Time was running short. They soon would search for Akio, and if they so much as caught a whiff of their presence, you'd slip from his grasp again as they’d flee. Or worse, they might kill you. Tobirama would sooner die himself than allow for that to happen - the mere notion let the blood freeze in his veins. At the very least, it did well to reign himself in. Still, his mind, one thing about the course of action was clear. No mercy. At the very least, they were enemies to the village. "We can easily overpower them. Use the element of surprise, and be fast in and out. I know their numbers and capabilities, roughly." Tobirama crossed his arms in front of his chest. His face was drawn in a deep frown. "That is correct," Hashirama answered evenly, holding his brother's icy glare. Probably the only person around here to do so with ease, Tobirama found. His patience for more faint-hearted had been long gone. "But you mustn't forget that Y/n is down here too-" "I assure you, anija, I am not," Tobirama spat back, knuckles white from how hard he gripped the fabric of his undergarment on his arms. His nostrils flared from the sharp breath he took, offended his brother might even think he’d forget this. "They could use her as a living shield." Hashirama was completely unfazed by Tobirama's hostility. He probably had gotten used to it at this point, in a pitiful way - his brother's predicament pained him as much as your fate did, Tobirama knew. After all, Hashirama was the gentle soul out of the two of them. That wouldn't extend Tobirama's patience, but still. "And you seriously think I don't consider that?", Tobirama huffed, through clenched teeth. Desperation was leaking into his voice more than anger did. The team held a respectful distance at this point. "There is no other way, Hashirama." "There is," he replied far too quickly for Tobirama's liking. "Enlighten me then, please." He took a deep breath, seemingly well aware his next words will not sit well with his younger brother. "We offer them to leave for their home if they release Y/n without a fight." Tobirama's eyes widened. "You must be joking." The mere notion - "After what they did-" he scowled - his voice low, dangerous. The all too familiar rage was roaring within him again, his heart pounding high in his chest. "You haven't seen what I've seen!" his voice bordered a shout, as much as secrecy would allow for right now. Without ever having wanted to, he had taken a step towards his brother, arms outstretched. They were trembling again. He balled his fist. What on earth was Hashirama thinking? "It would be safest for her," he replied evenly, not backing off a single inch. His calmness was unnerving Tobirama even more. He actually seemed to consider this a good plan - "Safest? Safest? What if they slit her throat before my very eyes to let her see me fail her ultimately? Did you consider that in your clever approach?!" Tobirama's voice had risen in volume, but even now, he was aware they were to be hidden still. But the mental image was burned into his mind, now. Your eyes - panicked first, then growing dull as the realisation of being forsaken kicked in. And then, lifelessly gazing at him. That was almost too much for Tobirama to take and the white-hot rage burned so intensely, it felt as unbearable as the thought of losing you while being so close to getting you back. The thought of all the agony you had gone through. Hashirama took a decisive step forward then, placing a hand on Tobirama's shoulderguard. "We won't lose her, Tobirama," he spoke with such conviction, Tobirama was glad to latch onto it if just to escape the dark place his mind was at now. He needed to focus. For you. He shook his head as though to free himself of emotional turmoil, momentarily. "They're still enemies to the village, trespassing in our protected country and guilty of torturing our own. We cannot let them go unpunished." His baritone voice nearly shook towards the end. Hashirama pondered before he sighed deeply. "Very well." Tobirama took a deep breath, then crossed his arms again. "We will use what means of surveillance we have at hand to locate each of them before entering. Preferably when," he cleared his throat uncomfortably and forced himself to speak the next select words neutrally and calmly, "Y/n isn't being tortured. They won't be as close to her. Then we incapacitate them swiftly before they can get to her. The hideout is small. It should be easy to corner them before they can get to her." He needed to take a few more deep breaths, closing his eyes. A hand rubbed over his forehead and happuri absent-mindedly. This plan had to work. It just had. Tobirama wouldn't compromise more, anyway. Hashirama nodded then, turning towards the squad. "Everyone heard him. Let's go." Surveillance proved to be more difficult than they had expected. With Akio's information, they knew how to approach, but the hideout was secured from sensory scanning, of course. Which meant Tobirama was as good as blind, unless he got inside. That was out of question. It turned out their only means of getting inside views were the bugs of Hoshiko Aburame, who was more than eager to show off her newly joined clan's capabilities. And amazing they were, Tobirama found. Not half an hour later, they knew the enemy currently kept to the living quarters of the underground hideout, and the interrogation chamber was empty. You were in the cell, just as expected. The news made Tobirama's heart stutter again, but he reigned himself in quickly now. His focus was required now, even though he itched to rush in there like he never had before. You were right there, alive, breathing. Alone, suffering. He wanted nothing more than to save you from all that, posthaste. Frankly the timing was just too perfect. They had to act now. And they did. Swiftly, and without mercy. They split in two groups to enter the hideout from each entrance, dancing around the traps like only a member of the Hidden Stone shinobi team could. When Tobirama heard their voices, their laughter from the chamber - he saw red. But much more than to punish them, he wanted to take the other turn - through the interrogation chamber, to your cell. Hashirama had explicitly forbidden him to. Tobirama knew, too - the enemy needed to be subdued first. You were not being tortured right now. He needed to be calm and logical now; his help was needed in the fight - you just needed to hang on a little longer. Just a tiny bit. He was almost there, with you again. The battle inside the chamber was atrocious as one might expect from such close quarters and a force such as their own. Tobirama's water release mowed through their earthen defenses as they tried to use the surroundings to their advantage with their expert knowledge of Earth jutsu - though quickly, he had to give way to his brother's wood release lest he'd flood the chamber completely. The squad each had engaged with an enemy personally, the clashes of blades echoed through the room, incantations were shouted, chakra released left and right. No matter, he figured, he was still lethal enough without his water release. With his ice-cold burning ire, he lunged for a very particular enemy: the shinobi he knew had been responsible for your torture, mostly. He just needed to recall Akio's memories of you: what they had done to you, what you looked like. Tobirama's precision was meticulous and deadly, in every way. Later, those who bore witness to the fight uttered words of fright for how the First's brother had been back then - a stern reminder never to cross this man. Tobirama's precision to kill was ruthless, chilling. Parrying maneuvers of his target where punished not just with a clash of metal but the slicing of muscles and nerves. Undeniably he did not just fight the torture master - his target was punished for every mistake in this fight. As soon as the opening for a kill offered itself, Tobirama struck without mercy. The blind rage started boiling inside him more, numbing his body to a point he was sure he wouldn't feel anything despite ire anymore. And the deep desire to get back to you. This battle was taking too long. All throughout it, Tobirama kept his sensory skills trained on the whole underground complex - and especially so on the door that led outside, to you. He would not allow for a single person to leave this room and make a run for you, or outside for that manner. Not that anyone got the chance. Soon, the Stone shinobi were decimated to a number far smaller than the Konoha team, and they realised they were being overpowered - swiftly. But there was no escaping any more. Briefly, Hashirama had entertained taking them prisoner prior to starting their assault - much to Tobirama’s annoyance. Lethal force would be simpler and faster, he argued. Another team member, Taro, had made a more sensible objection then - he doubted they'd surrender and it was questionable if they would manage to subdue them if they didn't. Well, trust Hashirama to make it possible anyway. With his wood release, he managed to ensnare them, an unmistakable sign to the rest of the squad. Fine, then. They might hold valuable information, anyway. Tobirama turned around on his heel to do what he had been wanting to do from the start. He broke down the door towards the interrogation chamber with no grace, clenching his teeth when he laid eyes on the inside. There was a table fitted with restrains - and blood. Dried blood. Your blood. His throat went dry. A flickering gaze wandered over the walls where various tools were stored, all of them kept in neat shape. Drills, saws, irons - he closed his eyes. He couldn't - he didn't want to see that anymore, now. His heart hurt, his body trembled again with sheer rage. How could he allow for this to happen in the first place? He opened his eyes again, bearing the ache the sight brought him. Briefly, his scarlet eyes wandered left and right to find more utensils: drugs. More refined tools, possibly to inflict damage to the chakra network of the victim. Various vials filled with substances, very possibly used to alter perception of reality and make a person more susceptible to torture. Bile rose in his throat. Enough of that. With a few decisive steps, he rounded the table to finally find himself in front of your door. He stared down at his shaking hand before he opened it. He was sure his heart would jump out of his chest at any moment now. The door swung open inaudibly. The room beyond was just illuminated by the dim lights coming from behind Tobirama. When his gaze found you again for the first time in weeks, he nearly fell to his knees. You were curled up in the far corner of the tiny cell, dressed in rags. Your form looked far too delicate - far too gaunt. You were shivering, your hands covered your face and your head. There were bruises on your pale skin. Tobirama swallowed a heavy lump down his throat. A prickling sensation formed in his eyes. He blinked. Wetness rolled down his cheeks. He wiped swiftly at it with his sleeve. "Y/n," he spoke, incredibly softly, entering slowly, as though you might disappear if he were too hasty. He, who was covered in blood - his fine fur collar ruffled, sprayed red. The epitome of violence. You stirred. Flailed. Slow at first, as though you had to work through a haze. To hear a voice beside that of your tormentor - it must frighten you, or so Tobirama thought. Your gaze - your gaze was the worst. It was wide-eyed, devoid of your lively spark. Haunted. Tormented. The ache inside his heart was a physically painful sensation now within his chest. Tears rolled down his cheeks again, but he did not sob. All that ran through him was the fine tremor of despair; of having finally gotten you back and yet being confronted with the reality of your capture. Tobirama knelt down near your side very slowly, just in arms reach but at a respectful distance yet. Frankly he wanted to sweep you up in his arms, kiss you and never let go of you again - but he knew better than that. Recognition had not yet settled into your gaze again. There was fear in them. It continued to feed into the ache inside his chest. It was them - they had done this to you. "Y/n," he whispered your name again, tenderly, in a desperate hope of waking your memory. Your gaze was wild as you straightened yourself against the corner, boney knees tucked towards your body as quivering hands steadied yourself. "N-No...", your raspy, quiet voice stuttered. The abuse it had suffered was evident - for quite some time, you had done nothing with it but scream, Tobirama concluded. His teeth clenched down so hard, his jaw hurt. More tears smeared his facial paint. "I'm here, my love," he finally stammered out. Your eyes glistened. More violent shivers ran through your body. Tobirama subconsciously shifted closer. He needed to comfort you, to hold you - to do anything to ease your discomfort. To help you out of wherever your mind was right now. "I- I've broken, have I?", you suddenly croaked, "They gotten into me, now they're using you to torture me-" - you threw your head back against the stone wall with an audible thud. The sound made Tobirama shudder - that must have hurt you. But it was nothing compared to your words - he understood now. You thought he was part of a genjutsu. The cruel, cruel logic behind that - his eyes wandered downwards momentarily, and he couldn't stop the broken huff that snuffed out any sob he might have made. In his crouched stance, he wiped his palm over his face. You, his beautiful woman, the love of his life - in shambles, all due to his incompetence to keep you safe. He drew a ragged breath. All he now could do was to make up for it by getting you away from here - making you realise he really was here - and keep you safe now. Ensure you'd heal. "No, my love," he answered finally, letting his own agony break into his voice that had become a husky whisper while two scarlet eyes gave you a sad, sad look. "This is real. I'm here, you're safe now. It's over. You're safe now." Signing the genjutsu release in here was pointless - the room was designed to be void of chakra. In fact, Tobirama had not even noticed when he entered - he had been too concerned with you. That realisation now was disturbing - how careless of him - but he very much felt deaf in here for his sensory skills were blocked. No chakra would leave his body, at all. It was an oppressive feeling. To think you had been in here for weeks - You kept staring at him with wide eyes. Uncertainty had settled into your gaze. Tobirama knew he needed to keep leading you out of the darkness now. He inched closer, very slowly. His glance he kept locked with yours, attentive of any sign of fear or hesitation. The last thing he wanted to do was overstep your boundaries now. You remained still. Finally, he was right beside you, kneeling. He was shaking again. As were you. "T-Tobirama...", your abused voice whimpered, the question in your tone tormented him. The magnitude of anguish the whole situation brought him pushed him to a point where wondered how he could handle it - bear it - other than soldier through and simply ignore it for now. What he knew was he had to get you out now and start to move things along. "I'm here," he repeated, "I'm real. You're safe, now. All right?", he raised his shaking hand slowly to lay it on your far too bony shoulder. Your body was agonizingly cold under his palm. "Y/n," he downright whimpered, relieved for a brief second when you did not flinch. Your gaze drifted down onto the hand he had put on your shoulder. Incredulous. The first gentle touch you had received - in weeks. "Tobirama...", you whispered again, now laced with more than uncertainty. There was pain in it. Not the physical kind - the emotional kind. The despair of your struggle to believe all this, to allow yourself to know this to be true was showing. And Tobirama grew increasingly desperate alongside to make you believe this - to end your suffering as fast as he could. His own pain would endure far longer, he knew. That didn't matter, though - his aching heart could wait, if it only meant you were safe. "I will get you out, okay? May I carry you, Y/n?", he asked in a hushed voice, as gentle as he could. When you didn't reply but also showed no sign of refusal, he let his hand slide over your neck slowly to grasp around your shoulder while his other arm reached out to tuck under your knees. He never broke eye contact again. Yours, however wandered to your own body. It shook again - a mixture of temperature and quite possibly the same reason Tobirama himself shook, he deduced. His protectiveness flared even more. It was only when you felt gravity shift towards him and up from the ground that you whimpered - and flailed slightly. "N-no-", you suddenly whispered, shaking your head and the unkempt hair on it. But Tobirama didn't want to ease up now. He just needed you out of this terrible room to make you see he was real and end this nightmare. "Please, Y/n," Tobirama countered immediately, "Trust me." He practically implored you at this point. Your flailing increased. "D-don't," you whispered, your eyes wide again, lip quivering. "I can't," you wheezed, "No more, please!" Your thin arms pawed at his chest armor as he rose to his full height slowly. Your body was far too light in his arms. Your gaze shifted to the open door slowly, the fear becoming painfully apparent, but Tobirama's eyes would never leave you. Realisation dawned on Tobirama then. And once more, he felt as though he nearly doubled over by the implication of it - what your real issue now was. "I'm not going to hurt you, Y/n, nobody is anymore," Tobirama choked instantly. "We just need to get out here, I can't use my chakra here, neither can you." he tried to reason, unsure of how much that would get through to you. He took a slow step towards the door, though the pain inside his chest made it difficult when he saw your reaction. "Please," you croaked, the fight becoming stronger. He had to close his arms around you more firmly just so you wouldn't wind out of his hold. "Nothing bad is going to happen anymore, Y/n, I promise," Tobirama whispered over your sobs. Then, he opted to take the two steps out of the cell into the damned interrogation chamber - back to where chakra could be used. You were near screaming frightened pleas for mercy then, a sound that would haunt Tobirama. But it was over the second he carried you into the other room. In that very moment, Tobirama let his chakra graze over your network already. But not before he muttered: "Release." His voice bore some relief - the crooked, defeated kind. You stilled completely then. Your eyes were back at his face, he held your gaze evenly while his chakra wrapped around yours, much like a blanket on a cold winter's night. The familiarity of the sensation - to hold you and to feel you in such an intimate way at the same time - Tobirama nearly had thought he might have never have gotten another chance to. For all his determination of the past weeks - the danger had been near suffocating him. But you were here now, in his arms. "You're safe, Y/n," he repeated, over and over. "I'm here." His eyes were glistening again, as were yours. Stray tears fell on the rags they had dressed you in. Tobirama pulled you closer to let your forehead rest against his happuri for a moment. He closed his eyes to drink in the sensation of your chakra intertwining more, feeling you. Stilling the ache in his heart, quenching the rage that had roared in him for weeks. The both of you feeling one another. "Tobirama... I thought -", you finally began, your voice finally more than a hush or a whimper. Still raspy of course. But... more yourself. You had begun to come out of the proverbial darkness back to him, again. The relief Tobirama felt made his knees weak. "I thought I'd never see you again," you finally whispered. Slowly, he pulled his head back. He swallowed. "I'm so sorry," he choked out. It was all he could say right now. But there was so much more he wanted to say. Your head slipped from his forehead to the side of his neck. Exhaustion seemed to be getting to you, too. "I'll keep you safe, Y/n," he let his arms wrap around even tighter, for a moment worrying if he might bruise you. You didn't protest though. Tobirama felt you couldn't be close enough to him now. Your frail hand reached up for his fur collar, fingers winding through it, gripping it, then sliding to the side of his neck. You didn't speak anymore. He shuddered for how cold it felt again, but it only served to make him feel more determined to take care of you now. It was Hashirama who disturbed the moment. The relief was written over his face, though his eyes were wide when they first settled on you, then on Tobirama. "Let's go home," Tobirama then announced, sighing.

#tobirama #tobirama senju #tobirama x reader #tobirama senju x reader #sekhmet writes

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kicktwine · 3 years

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ask dump (big long)

1) ABDBHTDND YEAH THEY DID UM, they did the ”no THANK you..! etc etc BUT IM WEAK” song too! Wild how that is now. points at them hey I know those guys

2) OHHH….. THIS HITS……….. I like missio sometimes but this is a nice chorus also: Vanitas… yeah I, like, always love music recs. they can be hit or miss but it’s only fair with how much music I find and then immediately go what if I showed everyone

3) how many does he have in there now, eleven? Twelve??? He signed up for one mouse and he got eleven human children or at least nine to ten human children, two young adults, and two regular adults who aren’t going to be helpful—

4) aaaaaaaaa thank you!!! 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

5) MMM I haven’t thought extensively about cowboys for a while… it’s been mostly space up here for now, haha. I like my space murder. But that’s not to say I haven’t given them some fond passing thoughts! Two bros sitting in a river 5 feet apart cos they’re covered in mud and smell awful and one of them is very loudly blaming the other for the plan that involved hiding behind a barn (actually the last thing I wrote in my notes is a mini totally unfinished drabble of hiding in Lea’s bar but the “great hiding place” Lea has is in his floor)

6) gosh I Have to wonder if it’s a case of destiny/universal “the nature of humanity is that every so often someone invents homestuck again” or if we just, like, had common knowledge of the book of prophecies. Or not even the Book, maybe, I have to assume that knowledge/observance of the Foretellers phased out pretty quickly, but prophecies left unfulfilled would linger for generations probably. Or maybe they’re even old stories, a tale of seven masters of the past drawn in to a chess game, or the game based on the old fairytales, or the numbers 7 and 13 are ingrained in local culture … see, because obviously Xehanort implies that this prophecy/old masters stuff ISNT common knowledge, but Eraqus CERTAINLY knows about it and it’s in all the architecture/local myths… ok but then also, if we’re to take the opening chess game as more than just clever symbolic narrative bookends, everyone’s symbols ARE right there. I just kind of registered that’s probably what you were talking about. In which case our questions are still there, how much did the common populace know and how much did eraqus know? Did he like, end up with three apprentices who had very distinct chess symbols as keychains and go uh oh john or what—

hey why’d you do this to me. I’m a tired college student in scala on my sixth response paper about the prophetic legitimacy of foreordained keybearers versus the self-imposed creation of destiny as following common legend and I’m arguing with some guy named Einar about how you can’t just fake a prophetic fulfillment by claiming to be the Crown piece in chess. You can’t just KIN A CHESSPIECE, Einar.

7) ABGDJGD TY..!!! To be honest they also live in my head rent-free! Some of them need to start paying rent because I’m supposed to be in school getting Better at storyboarding—

8) hard same hey thats just bc magnet is uhhhh. The best spell? Aside from mine spells

9) SEE AGAIN I DONT KNOW bc for one Sora obviously isn’t ENTIRELY unique, if he’s able to be diagnosed so quickly, but this “holding your nobody and two to four other people in there” kind of thing probably has never been seen before. But for another, Roxas and Xion have copied a keyblade. Just like — a keyblade? Copied entirely? Wild.

anyways keyblade manifestation is a mystery to me and I’d love to see it explored because what we know the Lore is, is this: they were fashioned after the likeness of the x-blade. They can be bequeathed to others (shown to not necessarily mean that exact keyblade is passed down, probably this means the ability to wield can be bequeathed). They can be WILLFULLY given. They come from the heart, they are not welded out of steel. They are…. questionably sentient, or maybe just sapient, or somehow are picky about who holds them. Side note khwiki is telling me things I Did not know about the whereabouts of Ven’s heart during 358 and also the ability to wield two which requires more than one heart obvi but which is named synch blade??? always question the wiki but these have sources. Anyways. Keychains can swap their forms so they have a Base and Custom Skins mode. There are three kinds, Light (common), Darkness (Michael mouse??? Not his bbs one the rod one which I GUESS is a counterpa Iiiiii am getting off trackaaaaa), and Heart (which I’m guessing is just the x-blade, maybe the gayblade, and the kh1 keyblade of heart??). Um. What was my point here. OH yeah I was just gonna say Bro Wild. This is completely a mystery to me. Does every keykid’s base form keyblade look different, and we were all just given cool keychains? Are there some kids who melded unique keychains? If I were connecting dots wildly and with reckless abandon I’d say yeah and also you cannot just suddenly one day wield one, you HAVE to be bequeathed, but as soon as that happens it sparks the creation of your own personal heart sword. Every keyblade is manifested independently — those wielding a family keyblade have the ability to summon their own, if necessary, but the family sword is taking up that space in their heart and theyd have to get used to making their own. since, it seems, keyblades (summoned) will die and solidify if their bearer dies, but keyblades (unsummoned) will either disappear or summon themselves somewhere else and retain a small piece of your… essence. A legacy keyblade, I feel, would be a little something like feeling every past Avatar and you are the avatar, but you can’t talk to them. They’re there tho. Also I think that having an exceptionally strong heart would be not only a moral requirement for ensuring the keyblade’s duty is upheld, but also a physical requirement! youre carving out a bit of your heart to make room for a sword. Weak hearts should not do that even if they want to.

aye… how was that longer than the scala answer? You got me on tangents again in these essays I

10 (submission from licilou22)

NGDBFDBFSHGDHFDHGDA 😎👉🏼👉🏼👉🏼👉🏼👉🏼 WHEEZING

#ask #MANY ASKS (10)#well 9 and a submission #anon #kh #oh to be a tired scala graduate student #oh to write thesis papers about keychains #anyways love u alll……. Thank u for asks #…… 💕💕💕👁👄👁#paopubell #rosie-kairi #licilou22 #infernal-fox #metazone

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ssaltbending · 3 years

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Ok, guys, hear me out: Zuko is a Capricorn, Katara is a Cancer —and here’s why (it would be so poetic).

Part 1: Zuko

TW: explicit mentions of child abuse.

I know this statement might seem weird and out of place, but in the last couple weeks I’ve been digging a lot into astrology and, in order not to forget my roots, I thoroughly felt the need to combine both of my most recent obsessions in one post, given that this headcanon hasn’t been able to leave my mind ever since I came up with it: if we applied astrology to the Avatar world, I’m sure Cancer and Capricorn would be Katara and Zuko’s signs, respectively. And I don’t say this in a superficial way, just by looking at zodiac memes and associating Katara with the crybabies Cancers are portrayed as or saying Zuko is a Capricorn buzzkill as people who know astrology on a surface level would assume they are —those are some of the most common stereotypes about the signs. No, I’m saying that they embody those signs on an archetypal leve: in the way their stories, especially Zuko’s, resemble the myths that originate the zodiac signs and their respective traits.

Therefore, without further ado, let me explain.

The Capricorn archetype: the sins of the father...

As any casual astrology enthusiast may probably know, the sign of Capricorn is connected to qualities such as perseverance, integrity, resilience and ambition, typically treated as the CEO or boss of the zodiac. However, the sign itself has a richer and much more complex story as we look at the deities it is associated with as well as the planet that rules it: Saturn, linked to the Roman god of the same name and the greek gods Cronus, Zeus, Hestia and Pan. Some astrologers choose Cronus as Capricorn’s patron god and others prefer his children, but that can be explained very easily.

The myth goes like this: Cronus, a giant and father of what we would know as some of the main greek gods (Hestia, Demeter, Hades, Poseidon, Hera and Zeus), was actually the son of Uranos, who he subverted thanks to the advice of his mother Gaia to use an agricultural tool to kill him. But as time went by and Cronus had started having children with his partner, Rhea, the fear of his descendants becoming stronger than him and doing the same thing he had done to his father took over him, which led to his decision of swallowing them all whole. He started with Hestia all the way back to Zeus, whom he couldn’t swallow right after he was born, unlike his other children, because this time Rhea had hid him in the island of Crete to protect him from his father. To deceive him, Rhea then covered a rock in cloth to make it resemble a baby for Cronus to eat it, thinking that it was a newborn Zeus.

Time passed and Zeus grew stronger until he was ready to confront his father and save his siblings from his womb, and when he finally did it, he managed to force Cronus into disgorge them one by one, in the reverse order they had been swallowed —which left Hestia as the last sibling to be disgorged.

After that, Zeus was left with a prophecy, where he would also be possibly overthrown by a son of his. And after Métis, the woman he was told would bear said child, gave birth he swallowed the newborn whole just like Cronus had done with his brothers and sisters. The child in question, however, started giving him headaches as it grew older and bigger inside of him and would become the goddess we know as Athena. What Zeus did with her was the repetition of a cycle perpetuated by his forefathers, a cycle of abuse and trauma that seems inescapable. What this part of the duality of the Capricorn archetype shows one of the ways in which those ideas of tradition and legacy can be carried on (a very negative one, to be honest), but that’s not the only way they can manifest, which gives the archetype this… almost cinematic quality, in my opinion. (And if we take this into account, I might headcanon Azula as a Capricorn rising due not only to the archetypal coincidences but the overall mastermind outlook she has and how much of a natural, domineering and calculating leader she is, but that’s besides the point.)

Now, let’s talk about the other side of the archetype, which gives it this incredible dual quality: Hestia’s path. Unlike her brother Zeus, Hestia was the one who not only had been devoured by her father, but she had spent the most time inside him as well. This is often associated with the emotional isolation many Capricorns experience in their youth, the lack of warmth and love by one of their parents, along with the desire not to become the abusive parent they were exposed to. Hestia is the other side of the story, the unspoken leader of the Olympians, the one who broke the toxic cycle running in her family for generations, vowing to become an eternal virgin and protector of the earth. Besides, Hestia means “hearth”: the inner fire, the one that is never allowed to go out.

(art by @elisebrave)

That is the soul of the Capricorn archetype: the crossroads of destiny, the moment when the child decides whether to become like their parents, or forge their own path like Hestia did. Do you guys see what I see now? Are the similarities clear enough?

As my dear friend @persephobeee points out in her Capricorn essay (a crucial source for this one): “The Capricorn archetype is a cycle of stuck parents putting stress on their children at such a young age so then their kid ends up making money in retaliation, but then treat their kids the same as well due to the lack of warmth and freedom they had in their own childhood. The intense pressure put onto them as a child [then] leads to isolation and depression. It’s a cycle. ‘I don’t want to be my parent, but also… how they have ruined me’. The chain can continue with Zeus (projecting sorrows and nightmares onto their own children) or it could break with Hestia (the path of love, light and protection).”

This is why Capricorn’s planetary ruler, Saturn, is also associated with ideas found in this myth: restriction, limitation, order, boundaries, leadership, responsibility… pretty much dad vibes, to be honest. Do you guys see what I see or do I have to dig deeper?

“But isn’t zuko a firebender?? Why would he be an earth sign??”, you may ask.

The way that I might be making headcanons about the Gaang’s western zodiac signs isn’t gonna be based on which element they bend, because that would be quite reductive and restrictive for me as an astrology junkie, but their similarities to each sign’s archetype and overall characteristics. And yes, I do see Zuko as an earth sun, but that wouldn’t be his only sign, there is also the moon and the rising sign, which also have an important impact on the individual. In my opinion, Zuko’s personality embodies the qualities of fire signs as well: competitiveness, drive, passion, impulsiveness and loyalty. But to me those qualities are better shown in his character through his moon sign: an Aries moon, to be specific. See those anger outbursts? The “I don’t need any [fucking] calming tea!!”? The “you never think these things through”? Aries moon behavior, right there. But I’m not going to focus on moon signs right now. Let’s get back to the behavior I am the most well-versed at: Capricorn behavior.

So, the sign of Capricorn is also a cardinal sign, a leader, since they are the ones that begin each season. In the Northern Hemisphere, Capricorn season starts right on the winter solstice, and the opposite happens in the South. However, since all the astrology lore comes from the North thanks to the Greeks, Babylonians and more, the seasonal connections are related to the seasons there. As a consequence, Capricorn is the cardinal sign that brings the coldest, darkest season of the year: winter. And incorporating that into Zuko’s character would be incredibly fitting, in my opinion, because of some stuff I’ve read here on Tumblr saying that making him being born during the coldest time of the year would make it a terrible omen for a firebender, worse in this case due to him being born into the royal family, symbols of the power and “supremacy” of the Fire Nation. The fact that he would be born in winter, if we follow this reasoning, would have made him seem as a disappointment to his father ever since birth.

… or maybe I’m just cruel, guys.

Moreover, I think Zuko embodies many of the Capricorn qualities in the way he carries himself (because no, not all Capricorns are confident managers with the world in our hands) and how hard he has to work to earn everything he gets. A key part of what this sign represents is “the path of hardships the goat has to overcome in order to reach the top of the mountain”, which along with the myth I have described before, could easily be applied to Zuko. It describes values of endurance, hard work, discipline and drive in order to achieve your goals, something that can be seen in Zuko all throughout the series, but changes its focus as the seasons go by. Besides, uhm… have you guys seen “The Day of Black Sun, Part 2”? That is literally the positive outcome of the Capricorn myth made into animation: the confrontation between an abusive father figure and his abused child who has decided to part ways with him in order to become a better person.

On another note, I think it is important to highlight how the Capricorn in Zuko could be seen based on how the rest of the Gaang treats him as well when he changes sides and he’s accepted into the group. How?, you may be wondering: as a father figure, but in a positive way. In many scenes it can be noticed how he naturally takes a position of leadership within the group as well as he takes care of the younger members such as Aang and Toph but, especially in Aang’s case, tries to ground them and teach them. As examples, take the following: Zuko reminding Aang that soon he will have to face the fact that he might have to kill Ozai, him trying to get everyone to train when the comet is about to arrive; how when Aang gets lost, it is him the one people look to in order to lead the group, etc.

Another thing that is well-known in Capricorns is our resilience and perseverance and, honestly: do I even need to explain that? When it comes to the guy who would get his ass beaten again and again and again for one season straight in order to get what he wanted which would also give him the approval of his father, what he craved most? It screams earth sign behavior to me, but with a heavy saturnian influence due to Zuko’s background which, to me, can be quite an interesting reflection of the Saturn/Cronus myth with his children. Said tenacity could also be exacerbated by the willpower and energy brought by the possibility of him having a fire moon, I don’t know, think about it. I stick to that headcanon.

That perseverance can also be seen when it comes to Zuko’s firebending, given how much he’s always trying to improve his skills. Although it could be argued that in reality he’s doing so due to the expectations put on him to be a proficient bender just like his sister in order to be accepted by his father, and his constant training to the point of exhaustion is just a manifestation of that toxic behavior. I am sorry to tell you, but that’s textbook Capricorn behavior, associated with the symbolism of the hardworking goat in general: working the hardest in order to get what you want is always on-brand when it comes to important Capricorn placements, and in my opinion Zuko is no exception.

Final thoughts.

Anyway, what I think would be most relevant is what I mentioned before about the Capricorn archetype and how it could tie in nicely to Zuko’s character arc with him as a representation of Hestia, who could grow out of the abuse she experienced and got a chance not to make her father’s mistakes and break that horrendous cycle she had been a victim of. I would go into this more deeply, but I think it has been enough for now. However, I’ll be back soon with a part two, talking about my water queen Katara. What do you think about this headcanon? Do you agree? If not, why?

Thanks for coming to my weird-ass TedTalk at 1am. I needed to vent and I haven’t been able to put the computer down since 9pm, I literally only stopped to eat, lol.

See you soon,

a Capricorn sun.

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literaphobe · 3 years

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plz why is dream dt as adora

OKAY SO FJDJDDJDJ THIS IS ABOUT THE DREAM SMP N ITS THE ROLEPLAY/FICTIONAL STUFF SO YHIS IS ACTUALLY C!DREAM GETTING TORTURED BY DREAMXD (god of the dream smp) WHO IS PRETENDING TO BE C!GEORGE LIKE U KNOW. how double trouble pretended to be adora to mess w catra

anyway this means nothing to you but it means SO MUCH to me so let me break it down for a moment

c!george has been having a hard time on the server. he’s been on Not Good terms ever since c!dream dethroned him (a whole other plot to explain, basically c!george felt backstabbed n c!dream claims it was done to protect c!george), and since c!dream is in prison, there really is No One there to Protect him. everyone keeps beating him up and taking his stuff, even a SPECIAL shield that c!dream used to use and gave to c!george to keep him safe. aka, the last item c!george has that could remind him on c!dream :( he even went so far as to make a deal with the devil (this is lightheartedly played by dream’s irl 14 year old sister, referred to as ‘drista’ by everyone, short for dream’s sister. what happened in the irl setting is that dream n drista were streaming n george came online n asked her to give him stuff because she was in creative mode. she really wanted to but dream said no n they made a bet instead n george got sad and acted dramatic about it when he lost) and he LOST so he had like NOTHING

MOVING ON,,, c!george is shown to us in lore the very next day to be burdened and confronted by all the important stuff he missed in the server, aka by not being there he indirectly has caused a lot of bad shit to happen. c!george is experiencing most of his life stuck in dreams, and he’s gotten to the point where he can’t differentiate his dreams from reality very well, and it’s confusing him a lot. c!george is shown to not remember what happened to many stuff he was involved in, such as countries like mexican l’manberg/el rapids for instance

he gets into trouble because his friend c!badboyhalo got corrupted by a huge evil egg (this is another gay ass storyline fjdjdjdj) and DEMANDS that c!george go to the egg w him n like essentially become corrupted too, and c!george is very scared n doesn’t want to :( suddenly, dreamxd descends from the sky and scares c!badboyhalo enough to stop. he kills c!bad to save c!george n also so that c!george can take c!bad’s stuff

but c!george gets worried that c!bad’s stuff is poisoned and hesitates, causing c!bad to run back and take his things. c!george then begins to shamelessly ask dreamXD for more stuff, since the last time they were together, they were building a McDonald’s, and dreamXD showed an unwavering loyalty to c!george and a willingness to give him almost anything

this is the first time we find out that dreamXD isn’t all sunshine and rainbows. his voice corrupts and sounds demonic as he yells at c!george for having the audacity to ask for more stuff after he had already given him stuff. this side of him continues to come and go, and viewers refer to it as ‘dreamon’. however we don’t know whether dreamon is a separate entity from dreamXD or just a different side to dreamXD. we also find out that dreamXD has some connection to c!dream that is also unclear. some fans theorize it has something to do with why c!dream has the power to bring people Back To Life

c!george, as it turns out, is a little confused by dreamXD. he doesn’t like dreamXD when he speaks angrily and demonically, and he notes that dreamXD mostly seems to show up around c!george, and not other people. dreamXD says this is because “you invite me in // how? // you have a welcoming presence” anyway c!george is confused because dreamXD looks like c!dream and he SOUNDS like c!dream but.... c!dream is in prison. and not there with c!george. and c!george MISSES him, and also keeps talking to dreamXD like he’s actually c!dream

he tells him he just wants c!dream to come back so everything can go back to normal. he doesn’t want him in prison, in fact he is notably one of the only people who wasn’t involved in the plot to put c!dream in prison. dreamxd has to keep telling him “i’m not dream.”, but also at some point dreamxd switches to c!dream’s voice to.... well it is unclear why he says “hi, george, it’s me, dream!” to c!george in c!dream’s voice. but it throws c!george off a LOT n he gets very expectant as he asks dreamxd if c!dream really is there, to which dreamxd says “oh. i think he’s gone now” (it’s possible he pulled out the c!dream voice to manipulate c!george into trusting him)

anyway the episode goes on to essentially show c!george trying to teach dreamxd to act more human and be less of a menace. he nearly gives up several times out of frustration, and this seems to tie in with his frustration with c!dream, who like got power hungry n became darker n evil etc, which c!george wishes werent the case, he misses HIS c!dream, the kind one who protected him and made everyone happier just by being around

c!george attempts to teach dreamxd how to prank people, but dreamxd keeps taking it too far. the tension of that is that dreamxd wants to be friends with c!george, but feels like c!george is just using him to get Stuff. on the other hand c!george is annoyed and just wants stuff. at some point dreamxd calls c!george a GOLD DIGGER and also at some point c!george threatens to just completely leave dreamxd, prompting the latter to beg n coax him for forgiveness. eventually they make a deal, where they become friends, in exchange for dreamxd giving c!george full netherite armor and tools. and then soon after c!george wakes up n he realizes the whole thing must’ve been a dream. but then he STILL has the netherite stuff. he begins to drop n pick up all his stuff n touch the world around him to test if anything is real

c!george is also shown to have stood outside the prison, staring but not going in. c!dream has talked about wanting c!george to visit him, and has talked about c!george a lot to his visitors, notably c!tommy, whos very annoyed by it. anyway. it feels like more Stuff is gonna happen that will make me lose my entire mind. god i love gay shit

#ask #this was so long SORRY #dream smp #mcyt #dnf #georgenotfound #dreamwastaken #dreamxd

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carryonmywaywardwriters · 3 years

Text

Knot In Love - Alpha!Dean x Omega! Reader

A/N: Part Eighteen is back. Again, where it’s a daily thing? I am not tagging anyone new. 3pm is the magical time, usually. As always, feedback is incredible. And, I hope you all enjoy one of my favorites <3

PSA: I am NOT a minor friendly blog. If you are below 18, please come back when you’re older. I don’t want to lose my blog because you were too eager to grow up. If I discover you, I WILL block.

Series Masterlist

Series Warnings: Forced mating. Knotting. Alpha/Omega dynamics. Witchcraft (more based on real craft than Hollywood). Angst. Etc. Read at your own discretion.

Word Count: Roughly 5,700

“No one's gonna fight for me.” The girl's voice echoed out to the hall you were trailing down. Just behind the men. “I don't matter.”

“Of course you don't matter,” The prim retort was louder. Filled with contempt as she talked down to the already vulnerable prisoner. Angels were supposed to be good. That's what everyone preached in the every day world. The more you were exposed to them, the less you believed it. “But, they think you do. They'll show. And when they do? We'll kill them and take the boy.”

You hated playing into her hands. However, there wasn't much choice. Kaia was necessary. And even if she wasn't? Jack wouldn't be able to live with himself if he'd gotten her injured. It was only growing more personal as you approached.

“That so?” Dean's voice sounded as he led the hostage through the opening. Earning the attention from those in the room. “You know... the girl's right.” He was smug. Every bit in control. You flanked to Sam's side, staying behind Dean. Eyeing up the girl who'd taken down Jack. She was bound to the chair. More than a little surprise coating her rich features. “Your plan does kinda suck.” Came the aggressive taunt.

“Give us the girl,” Sam ordered, leaning forward. His spine straightening to seem even taller. As if he wasn't intimidating enough with his last name.

“She's not what we want,” The angel hiding within the vessel stated easily. Then, she turned her sights to the very thing she was trying to draw in. “Jack, I don't want to hurt you. I wanna help you.” A snort left you at that. There was nothing more than ill will present. “You should be among your own kind.”

The boy you'd helped shape took it about as well as you had, “My kind?” The scathing tone couldn't be missed. “The kind that kills people? That kidnaps people?”

His eyes were narrowed. Dangerous. Following the lead of the men who'd raised him.

For once, you felt truly intimidated as you felt Jack's potential. If he'd wanted to, he could have destroyed everything with a blink of his eye. Taken after his father easily. His mother's influence, though, had been the beginning of everything good. The only thing saving the world.

“You don't belong with them,” Sam's hand stopped you from moving at the haughty words. You hadn't even been aware that you'd taken a step forward. As if the mere mortal could fight an angel without a weapon. That wasn't what you were there for. “Come with us. Come home.”

Jack's eyes turned to all of you, taking in the family he'd clung to, “I am home.” His solid answer didn't have a chance to resonate through the room. Dean's head was slammed into by the angel he'd been holding. Blade jerked away from the throat.

The angel in the front dropped her own weapon from her sleeve. Jack caught the motion. His hand lifting to still her body before she could approach any of his people. You didn't hesitate, ducking out of the fight and around to Kaia. Sam dropped down to dive for the lost blade, earning a fist to the face in the process.

“In case you haven't figured it out, yet? You do mean something,” You tried not too focus too much on the chaos the room was filled with. Your small blade was pulled out of your pocket; a tiny pocket knife. Only good for cutting the binds. “If it helps... I'm not a fan of this, either.”

“Not really,” Kaia stated, looking up to see the angel moving in slow motion under Jack's control. Her body lifting even higher off of the floor before being tossed back through the glass forcefully.

The fight to the side was nearly over. Only things could never be as smooth as that. The older Winchester was pinned to the ground. Fighting to hold a weapon from his throat.

“Dean!” You called out, trying to get him to look away from Jack. To see the blade raised above him.

Jack didn't hesitate, turning to the scene. Raising his hand once again as the hunter lifted his own in a feeble attempt to protect himself. Dean raised his gaze, after a moment, in amazement. Still braced as the weapon turned on its owner. As soon as the force was dropped, the previously paused momentum sent the blade through the suited vessel's chest. A bright light taking over the screaming form before it dropped to the ground. Leaving wings to decorate the cement floor around it.

“I got her,” Dean managed. Getting his focus back. He ripped the blade from the corpse. Running after the angel that had destroyed the wall inside the bare room.

“Are you okay?” Jack asked you and Kaia both. You nodded, though the sight had been more than you'd anticipated.

“No!” She rubbed her wrist, looking around the room in disbelief. Still sprawled out. “What the hell was that?”

“They were angels.” Sam began, checking over you. He helped you to your feet with one smooth motion. Ensuring that you were truly safe.

“Bad angels,” Jack clarified, no doubt thinking about Castiel. For him, it was necessary to set him apart from the rest of the pack.

“Angels?” Her eyes were wide, turning to you. As if you could make it all make sense.

You were still coming to terms with it yourself. It wasn't possible to help her over that bridge in the way she was hoping. A simple, weak shrug was all you could offer.

“Yes. And we're hunters.” Sam spoke rapidly, deciding that the speech had to be a little more rushed than usual. Who knew if there were any others waiting to pounce. “We kill things like them.”

“Some of us,” You stated very seriously. “Others are just tag alongs.” You hadn't killed, yet. Though the way things were going, there was a very good chance of it. Something that you didn't care to dwell on.

“Right,” The sarcasm in her voice amplified the strain. “And he's the son of Satan?” Sam stopped then, and looked at Jack who was slightly miffed at being reduced to that. A noncommittal shrug was his answer, letting the boy handle it.

“I am. Yes.” He stated softly. Looking more like a puppy than ever before to make up for the force he'd used. He seemed to shrink as he talked, relaxing in a manner that reminded you remarkably of the man who had aided you to a standing position.

“You're insane.” Was her response as him and Sam guided her to her feet. The move was supposed to be helpful, but fell short. It looked as if they were holding her hostage, themselves.

“Yeah, the whole world's insane. You get used to it,” Dean moved up on the group, appearing to be the predator that every monster feared. His eyes landed on you, assessing for any damage. A soft shake of your head let him know that you were good. “She took off,” He got back to business. “She might be back. Might not.”

“Yeah,” Sam agreed, glancing over the damage. “We should move.”

No one questioned it. Bolting from the room. Moving towards freedom.

“We'll protect you,” Jack promised Kaia as you all made it outside. Taking his charge seriously. Wanting to have someone depend on him. He was finally feeling as though he was part of the Winchester team.

“I don't think so.” You couldn't really blame her for that response, either. You understood too well how it felt to have your control ripped from your hands.

“Wait,” Sam's hand came out to Dean's back to turn him around. Latching onto the conversation. “Hey, hey hey,” His voice was smooth and soft. Attempting to coax her into what he needed. “Kaia, look. I'm sure this is a lot. But...” He sighed. Too heavy to be soothing. “Look, we need you, okay?” He was finally finding that same desperate edge that drove his sibling. “My brother and I... our...our mother is trapped in...in another world. And...and if you can tell Jack where it is? Then he can open a door.”

Dean moved forward as his brother talked, “And we can save her.” His voice was hard, as if threatening would make her come peacefully. Sam didn't move his eyes away from the teenage girl, breathing hard as the fear gripped him. He didn't want to lose her. They were too close. “So, what's the play?”

“Derek said there are sacred sites,” Jack spoke up. “Places where the walls between worlds are thin. Where its easy to cross over.”

“They're all over,” You confirmed, finally having something that you could grasp onto. Witches had discussed them as ways to get close to the fae and other spiritual beliefs. “Some people think of it as branches to the tree of life, connecting different worlds. I've looked into them for different reasons, but still. They're there.”

“Witch and Native American lore have some common themes. It fits,” Dean nodded your way. Accepting the knowledge with an ease that you didn't trust.

“I was taking Kaia to The Wind Caves.” Jack continued on, bringing up the closest rip in the veil. Putting his plan into action was a different story.

“The Wind Caves?” She turned to him, not looking pleased in the slightest. Apparently she knew the place well. Or at least well enough to not like the sounds of it.

“Let's roll,” Dean ordered, moving to turn. As if that settled it all. His bark didn't have the ability to change minds so easily, though.

“No,” The response was sharp. She didn't want it. A step back followed. The girl wanted to flee, but knew she wouldn't get far. Who could with those three on their trail?

“We just saved your life in there,” The hand with the blade was lifted as the older Winchester spoke, threatening subtly with his gesturing.

“Thanks, but they only wanted me because of you.” The point was fair enough. However, you didn't get to say as much.

“Kaia,” Jack looked guilty as he began. “We need you to dreamwalk for us. To use your gift.” She was terrified, shaking her head softly as he talked. Silently saying no, again.

“It's not a gift. It's a curse,” Your mind traveled back in time. You heard yourself saying the words instead of her as you cried. The feeling of loss taking over you. The emotion that had belonged to the young pup you'd been attached to at the time. A boy that hadn't stuck around long enough for you to fall for. All gifts were a struggle until you learned how to control them. Shielding had been your greatest defense. “When Derek walked, he was free.” The explanation pulled you back to the present. “He could go see beautiful things, to worlds that were paradises. I wish that it was like that for me, but it's not. I only go to one place: the bad place... It's just...blood and death and monsters.” You could see the pain on her face as she talked. Suddenly sure that she'd been experiencing the bad place for as long as she could remember.

“Well, it sounds like a lifetime of bad dreams, but-”

“Bad dreams?” Kaia shook with offense. She pushed herself, then. Striding towards Dean while lifting her jacket's sleeve from her wrist. “When I get hurt over there, I don't wake up sweaty. I wake up bloody.” The scars along her arm made your stomach twist as she let you all witness the harm that could come from the place she frequented. “This scar... its not the only one.” The exposed arm was dropped. “I'm sorry about your mom, but I can't help you.”

“Alright,” Sam swallowed tightly, “fine...Um, we can find another way.” You agreed wholeheartedly. Your eyes were drawn to Dean, then, who was busy putting away the blade beneath his jacket. Reaching for something else. “We, um...”

“Dean,” Your protest was futile; the gun cocking as he turned to face Kaia.

“Get in the car.” The warning was nothing compared to what he could emit. Jack gripped against you to ensure that you didn't step anywhere near the scene as Sam tried to get his brother's attention. It was useless. The order came again as the girl eyed the weapon in disbelief. “Get in the car.” He flicked the barrel in a way that said get moving. When it didn't work, he snapped. Raising the handgun to her skull, “Get in the damn car!” As soon as she began moving, the direction was clear, “We're going to South Dakota.”

“You're a bastard,” You whispered his way when she did as told. Breathing every bit as heavily as he was when Jack released his hold.

“I know,” His tone was filled with nothing. Empty at the new low he'd achieved. “Get in the car, Y/N.” His voice had softened again for that order, but it wasn't enough.

“Gonna point it at me, too?” Your chin lifted, waiting for it. Instead, it was tucked back where it belonged as he slammed into the front seat; making you flinch in the process.

“Y/N-”

“Don't Sam.” Your voice was weak as you stared at the vehicle. Waiting for the deafening roar of the engine to fill the air. It didn't take long. “Don't defend that...”

“He's just-”

“I said not to,” The sudden strength from the emotions clammering inside of you seemed to take him aback for a moment before he nodded. Looking sorry, but not enough to let Kaia go. “The lines never seem to stop blurring,” You told Jack, eyes watering at what you'd just witnessed.

“I know,” He held open the door for you. Letting you ride in the middle, so that the girl wasn't left near someone she no doubt despised.

Before you could step inside, the driver window rolled down, “You're ridin' up front with us, Y/N”

“Like hell.” You glared, openly challenging the Alpha. It was easy to knock heads with him. Harder when Sam approached you, calmly asking you to go along with it. “Why should I?”

“Because I'm asking you to.” The taller man's voice was soft. “Because it gives Kaia a little more room to breathe back there.”

“Fine,” You huffed in a fit of rage. At the least, Sam was right. She wouldn't feel so claustrophobic. The witch, however, would be left to sit between two large, emotionally charged hunters. A prospect you weren't enjoying in the slightest. You weren't done glaring as you crawled towards the man that had started your life down the path of destruction. The seat was wide enough to hold you, but it wasn't a comfortable fit between the set of broad shoulders. Not even close. “I hope you're happy with yourself.” The barb was shot towards Dean as you leaned more against his brother. Almost sitting on Sam's lap in the process.

“Sweetheart, I'm never happy with myself.” He jerked the car into dive. Slamming onto the gas pedal. Sending all of you flying towards the caves.

You had no idea how long the Impala had gone with utter silence filling it. Eventually, Sam broke the lack of noise. Whispering just low enough that those in the back wouldn't make out what was said, “So, now what?” You'd been asking yourself the same question on repeat. “We get Kaia to the Wind Caves, and then what? Force her to dreamwalk at gun point?”

Dean's answer was perfectly clear, “We get mom back, no matter what. Remember?”

“This whole 'no matter what' business is turning you into a real douche,” You pointed out, not even phased when the dark glare turned your way. “Why is it that every time I start believing that there's something good in you, you have to pull something that sends it crashing to the ground?”

“You don't abandon family-”

“You don't think that I get that, Dean?” You couldn't help it, your fist slung at his arm. The force couldn't be gathered with as little room as there was, but you managed to make contact. The action in itself bruising. “If it was Jody? I'd be desperate, too. But, that doesn't mean that we traumatize a young girl to get it done.” In the back, Jack was talking to Kaia; apologizing from the sounds of it. Showing her that powers weren't something to be scared of. A lesson he'd picked up from you.

“The longer we wait? The less chance we have of saving her.” It was all black and white to him. It was either force Kaia or lose his mom. No chance of both not being the answer. Before you could argue further, something caught your eye.

“Wait,” You squinted your eyes towards the road, seeing a dark shape. “Is that...”

Dean squinted himself, just as the lights came on. A car headed straight for the Impala, tires squealing. Your body was slammed against Sam's as the muscle car narrowly dodged the collision; a half spin that gave you whiplash in the process.

“Oh, crap.” Dean muttered, looking at the vehicle that raced back around in the road. He punched the gas, going down the drive that he'd landed at. A shipyard up ahead.

“Angels are really starting to grate my nerves,” You stated seriously, past the lump in your throat as the Impala careened down the path. Making it clear that there'd be a confrontation. A way to even out the fight.

The car finally found the end of the drive. Abandoned metal shadowing the worn out land. Leading to a murky water

“Okay, let's go.” Sam ordered, throwing himself out of the passenger seat. “Let's go!” He tugged your hand. Pulling you out of the vehicle urgently before his brother had a chance to. “Out,” The hunter chanted, yanking open the back door for Kaia. “Jack, come on.”

His hand tapped each person as their heads ducked out of the vehicle; the younger ones moving towards safety. Then, his head whipped, trying to find his brother. The creak of the trunk gave away his location.

“Hey,” Dean called out, sifting for the supplies he needed. The second Sam was close enough, he was tossed the bag. “Get 'em in the boat.”

Jack's groan in pain made everyone's eyes land on him. Angel radio. The signal was vibrating through the air. His teeth clenched together as he grabbed at his skull.

“Come on,” Sam's push at your hip should have made you move. However, it didn't. “Go!” Your eyes turned back to the Impala. Without a word, you dodged around him to get to his brother as Sam urged the younger two forward loudly.

“What are you doing?” Dean boomed, staring at you in disbelief.

“I'm useless in there. Worst case scenario? I help buy them a little more time out here.” Was your answer. For a millisecond, Dean simply stared in incredulity. It was different when it was him staying back. He just couldn't tell you why for the life of him. All he knew was that he wanted you in that boat before anything came forward. “We don't have time to argue. Tell me the plan.”

“You're fucking insane, you know that?” He bit out, digging through the back rapidly.

“Yeah? Well, guess I'm just joining your club,” You shot back. Taking hold of one of the angel blades. “You can kick me out later.” The second bag was thrown over Dean's shoulder as the trunk slammed shut.

“Do you even know how to use that thing?” You didn't dare answer that. He groaned at the lack of response. “You stay behind me, got it?” He pointed his finger in your face. His face and tone screamed no bullshit. You'd have argued if you had time. “And if I say run? You go.”

“That isn't a plan,” You muttered. Wanting to lecture him properly.

But, time had run out. The following car was pulling in. Your body turned. Immediately blocked by the hunter.

“Need that boy, Dean Winchester.” The escaped angel from before demanded, slamming the vehicle door shut. “Heaven's running out of angels. Only he can save us.”

“From an outsider's stand point of view, that doesn't sound so bad,” The blade was cool in your palm. One angel was doable. Hell, Dean probably could have taken care of it himself if it remained that way. You were just there to try and give some kind of support to the lone man. To try and give the others a chance to work a bit, if needed.

“As far as I'm concerned, you dicks can fry.” The cocky statement didn't get to fly before another engine sounded. Reinforcements.

“Yes, well, you and your second half there, first.” Two other vehicles appearing set off a sense of urgency. He had to get you out of there.

“I'm starting to get the feeling I was better off listening to you.” You managed, letting out a small breath of dismay. The sudden doubt in your usefulness was crushing.

“That would have been nice.” He agreed, taking in the situation for only a second. “Run,” Dean's voice was so low that you almost missed it. You turned, doing as told as he bolted himself. Heading towards the old, rickety dock.

Old storage containers, rusted out machines, and pieces of metal were scattered around the wooden path you followed in the dark. The scene looked something out of a horror movie. The boat ahead lacked a number of windows. Pieced together with crusted bolts. A weakened fortress.

“I'm starting to fucking hate angels,” You called out, feeling your lungs burn. Mentally trying to remember the last time you'd actually exerted yourself in that manner. Nothing came to mind.

“Now, you're a real member of the club,” Dean called back, pushing at your back when you slowed down a fraction. Not giving you a chance at being caught.

“What's happening?” Kaia's voice sounded as you and Dean made it to the doorway. Fear and uncertainty echoing through the air towards you.

“Don't worry, we'll be fine.” Jack stated positively. Trusting the Winchesters and you to ensure no harm came forward.

“We're screwed,” Dean burst out as you two made it into the ship, breathing hard. Crushing the previous statement before it even had a chance to slightly help. “There's too damned many of them.”

“Yeah, I'm gonna have to side with him this time,” You gasped out, holding your aching side as soon as you could stop. “They're kinda desperate.”

“We gotta go up,” He pushed past the group, looking towards the stairs that rested behind the blood red sigil painted on the old metal wall.

“Oh, come on,” You groaned as he pulled the younger two forward. Sending them after Sam as he held the flashlight he'd taken from his brother upwards, so that they could see.

“Let's go,” He ordered, reaching for you next. For all your grumbling, you did as told. Flying up the stairs. Letting him follow.

“You always gotta be in the back?” Came the haughty question as you moved. Noting the way he kept himself between those he viewed as vulnerable and those he deemed as dangerous at all times. Hating the respect that seeped forward at the action.

“Last time I checked, you liked that.” Was his crass response. You didn't dignify that one with a comment. Moving past Sam as he stopped to spray another sigil on the wall.

“Keep going up,” You ordered Jack, who was in the lead at that point. Following behind closely. Leaving the professionals to handle the work on the walls.

“How long will this warding hold?” Dean asked, glancing around behind him. The approaching footsteps could be heard softly in the distance against the wood. Larger than the vessels would've created on their own. His eyes latched onto your back; watching to make sure that you kept moving.

“I don't know,” Sam answered honestly. Still working on the second seal. Finishing it off in seconds. With a small groan, Dean threw himself up the next set after you. Letting his brother follow his lead.

“Hey, Dean. Maybe if we let them in,” Sam began, spraying the wall in the open room everyone was cornered into moments later, “and then we blast them all away-”

“No, they get in here? We're dead.” He sounded so sure, pacing in front of your body as you glanced out the windows. Feeling more caged by the second. “Jack, can you do anything?”

“I can try,” He stated, stepping forward at Dean's words. “But, they'll hit me with angel radio, again.” A loud crashing noise sounded as an energy wave shook the rotted vessel you were all residing in.

“Okay,” Dean gripped your arm when you stumbled at the force, holding you steady. “Okay... alright, so then we go out guns blazing. We take out as many as we can.”

“We really need to talk about your plans,” You hissed out. Your pulse was racing. Air leaving you in deep heaves. “There's gotta be something else.”

“So, you come up with a better idea,” He barked out, glaring down at you. “Until then? Get ready to swing that blade.” He turned his head towards Kaia. “Kid,” His favorite nickname came forth, “sorry to drag you into this. This was not your fight.” The first bit of humanity he'd offered her.

Another thick energy wave hit. Even more force in it. Sending debri scattering to the ground as everyone tried to hold their balance. Sam gripped the pole closest to him, giving him a bit of extra leverage as he guarded the door.

“If they get up here, they'll kill you all and take me.” Jack stated, making sure everyone knew what was coming. He was going to offer himself up. You could feel it.

“No, they won't.” Kaia spoke up, sounding more determined than she had before. “You said that I could help you find the door to another world, right?”

“Yes,” Jack answered just before another quake hit.

“So, let's do it. Let's get out of here.” She was offering herself up. A brave feat. Even when there wasn't much choice in the matter. It was that or get smited by some seriously pissed off angels.

“Hey, can you take us to our mom?” Sam spoke up, grabbing the opportunity with both hands. Another shake stirred the ancient boat. They were speeding up the hits.

“Can you do it?” Dean demanded harshly, transforming back into the desperate jerk that you loathed.

“I don't know. I think so.” Jack answered, stepping into the role that was needed.

“Anywhere is better than here right now,” You pointed out, turning to the eyes in the room. “Anywhere. Got it?”

“What if something goes wrong?” Sam asked loudly, trying to make himself heard over the noise the angels were creating. Another hit landed, sending you falling onto your ass.

“Something already is going wrong!” Dean managed to brace himself, bending to get you back to your feet. “Jack, do it.” The man holding you ordered, not giving anyone a chance to protest.

“Let me go,” You yanked away. Grabbing the chair next to you for Kaia to sit in before the next wave could hit.

“Are you ready?” The Nephilim checked, looking down into the girl's eyes. Nerves seeping into the already charged air had everyone on edge.

“No,” Was the honest answer. But that wasn't all. “Let's go.”

“Atta girl,” You grinned a bit. Proud of how she was holding up. At the least, she'd found the strength to face what she feared. Just before Jack could touch her, a strong blow hit the defenses.

“They're getting closer,” You could feel the impending energy moving up the first set of stairs. “The first sigil failed.” It was as if the bubble you'd found yourself in had decreased by half the size, suddenly.

“You're sure?” Sam turned worriedly to you. There wasn't a doubt in your mind.

“Positive.” Your body tensed as if you were going to war just as Jack's hands brushed back Kaia's hair gently before connecting to her temples. The golden light came forth as wave after wave moved in. The angels were growing more confident. More demanding.

“Okay, I'm there. I'm in the bad place,” Kaia breathed out, her voice trembling. Face contorting in fear. On some level, you wondered just what it was that she was seeing.

“Let go,” Jack ordered, eyes gazing upwards as he witnessed what was playing out in her mind. Her spirit traveling through the veil into what would hopefully end up as safety.

“I can't.” She was trembling, truly terrified as she witnessed what was on the other side of the spiritual wall.

“You can,” You spoke up. Your body made its way to Sam, letting him help support you so that you didn't fall for a second time. Coaching the young girl. “Don't fight it, Kaia. Relax.” The energy exploded again, knocking the second sigil out. “Oh, shit.” Your eyes turned towards the door where the final sigil rested. It started to glow as the angels' power slammed against it.

“Dean, you gotta see this.” Sam pulled away, turning his brother towards it. The paint simmered from the onslaught. “Come here!” Dean gripped the pole, resting his body behind you as he witnessed the sight.

“No...they're not going to get through.” You closed your eyes, picturing the familiar shielding light around the mark. Letting your mind try to block it out of desperation. Hoping that the sigil's strength could be amplified once again using yourself rather than the now destroyed marks. “Not yet.” When their combined power hit, it felt as if you'd been socked in the stomach. Shoving you back into the all too familiar chest. A gasp left your lips at the force, but the simmering lessened slightly. “It's not going to be enough,” You choked out, tightening your hand on your crystal that you wore around your neck.

“Jack, now!” Dean roared out, his arms holding you upright.

“I see her,” Jack's head turned, following the sight of Mary. He'd gotten what he'd been looking for.

Two more rapidly fired attacks hit, tearing through you. Your muscles burned. As if you were getting torn apart from the inside out.

“All right, they're almost through,” Dean's grip tightened on you until he was supporting your body weight.

Your vision started to blur. The words all ran together as each pulse slammed against the hold you were barely maintaining. Just as your body failed, Kaia released a scream. A blinding gold light filled the room as you found yourself losing consciousness.

“Y/N,” Sam's voice tugged your eyes open. You blinked into awareness, slowly. Looking around you in confusion. There was so much green.

“We're out,” Your breath was shaky as you talked; coming back to reality had never hurt so much. “Good, I don't think I can move just yet.” Every joint ached. Each cell seemed to be screaming out in misery. “Dean?”

“I'm right here,” He groaned out, stretching after he'd pulled himself to his feet. “But...the kids? They aren't with us.”

“What are you...ah,” A grunt left you as you sat up, “talking about? They were right there.” They should have landed in the same space. You should have all been together. However, Dean wasn't lying. The forest appeared to be empty outside of you three.

“Come on,” Sam tugged you to your feet. No matter how hard you tried, you couldn't seem to stand on your own.

“Alright, we gotta move. Climb up,” Dean presented his back. For once you didn't argue, wrapping your arms around his neck with his brother's help. Letting his hands grip the back of your thighs to hold you onto his strong spine.

“We just got him back,” The hopeless note earned you a small squeeze to the leg.

“We'll work this out, okay?” He promised, looking around before choosing a direction. “What happened back there, anyway?”

“I was trying to help,” Not that you'd gotten very far. “Tried to shield the sigil instead of myself. Didn't go so well.” It had been a last ditch effort that had rendered you useless.

“Do spells usually take so much out of you?” Sam asked, walking beside his brother. Carefully stepping over a fallen log.

“Magic is draining sometimes,” You answered, letting your chin rest on the thick shoulder. “I'm not used to something that intense, though.”

“You did good, Y/N.” Dean spoke up, his voice rumbling through you as he talked. “Probably bought us those last crucial seconds.”

“Yeah?” You weren't sure if they were just trying to cheer you up, but Sam agreeing eased some of the doubt from your mind. “Thanks...”

There was a large hole that took a little extra maneuvering to get into a bit into the trek, but he managed it. All of you looked around, trying to figure out the same thing.

“Where the hell are we?” Dean asked, taking in the indentation in amazement. It was nearly as deep as he was tall. Three thick paths stemmed from the middle and ended a short ways away. It looked remarkably like something from Jurassic Park.

“I think this is the bad place,” You stated carefully, feeling the dread pool into you...

Forever: @dean-winchesters-bacon @supernaturalginger @lilulo-12 @awesome-badass-cafeteria-sauce @michaelneedssomemilk @lemondropirwin @fanfictionismydeath @neii3n @surmya1907

Dean/Jensen: @akshi8278 @screechingartisancashbailiff @woodworthti666 @coldmuffinbanditshoe

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ronnytherandom · 3 years

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I forgot to watch content all week so i wrote about games ive been playing

9/2/2021: The Truman Show

You should fear your fears but embrace them and use them to guide you into the unknown, to explore and experience what life has to offer. Fear stands between you and the fullest experience of life so you must pass through it to better yourself. Heed not the walls built about you and the chains made to hold you. Though the architects insist it will preserve your life, containment is anathema to life. Do not take in faith the benevolence of powers that be; instead trust those who would support and liberate you, guide you through fear and into life.

As best I can lay it out, I think this is the philosophy of the Truman show but there is so much more to read into it also. There is critique of systems of commodification and celebrity (i.e. capitalism) reducing human beings to a consumable good as well as encouragement to find and pursue your goals despite adversity and even sensibility which is also tied to the illusion of economic responsibility. You can’t put a camera inside a human head, you can never “know” them without being an active and intrinsic part of their life, but also there is need for reciprocation. If one half exists with ulterior motive then the entire relationship is rotten; sincere humanity is what creates real connections. Without such your world is fake. A world built around one person is a world where no one can truly live. All these actors have given up basically their entire lives for the sake of watching Truman have his life built around him by outside forces, have allowed themselves to be commodified and dehumanised for the good of one man, Christoph. The man at the top has delusions of grandeur and thinks only of his own bottom line, he cares not for his subjects but simply wants them to do as he tells them because it benefits him to commodify their lives and interactions. Even then he cannot stand to lose control and in seeking to demonstrate Truman’s “realness” he structures his life so thoroughly that eventually there’s no reality left, only a script and adverts. But the people watching still empathise with Truman because everyone in the working class understands what it is to be trapped because real life is our own Truman show and one day we must all pass through fear, step out of the dome and create a real life for ourselves outside of the system of commodification which consumes everyone’s life and removes all realness and sincerity and emotional catharsis from it.

I unreservedly love this film.

14/2/2021: Assorted Game Reviews

Horizon Zero Dawn (Unfinished due to technical issues, 45 hours inc. parts of Frozen Wilds): This game is really cool and really fun. I think it is defined by its incredible setting which somehow creates a fresh feeling post-apocalyptic environment. Said environment creates intriguing alt-future lore and some very interesting environments to explore. I love the machine designs (especially tallnecks!) and was very sad to hear one of their contributing artists passed away recently but I’m glad their work lives on in this visually stunning game. I’m a sucker for Ubisoft-style open world games simply because it tickles a certain kind of itch and somehow this non-Ubisoft game has outdone Ubisoft on their own formula, which is hilarious, but also good for me as running around this world exploring and clearing map markers is engaging fun. Not least because of the combat. I have a minor criticism here that the combat feels slightly awkward on mouse and keyboard, the arrows never seem to go where I’m aiming, but aside from that the experience of fighting is a grand one. Enemies never lose their threat and I love the weak spot system the game employs which makes every tool useful in niche circumstance and rewards curiosity. It specifically manages this in a way that I feel the Witcher series could learn from if it ever returns; by making head on assault less viable and encouraging tactical hunting. I do feel this system makes hunting robots so fun that by contrast hunting humans becomes a chore however, though I noted this improves in the dlc with the addition of humans with elemental weaknesses limited in number as they are. I cannot speak for the story in entirety but what I encountered was pretty good, though I feel as if it was only just really getting going at the point where I could not continue. I find Aloy to be a compelling and well portrayed protagonist and though I can guess about her origin and the ultimate end of the alt-future apocalypse I still want to see how it plays out on screen, so will return to this as soon as I’ve fixed it.

Rimworld (122 hours. Familiar with but do not own Royalty Expansion):

Rimworld is one of those super special games that I don’t think I have a single problem with. Fair warning it can be brutal and is heavily dependent on RNG but this allows it to create truly unique and interesting scenarios on a constant basis. In the wider perspective it could be described as formulaic, with regular cycles of managing the settlement between raids and random events, but the devils in the details. Colonist traits, health and skills dictate how you play and sometimes you’ll be forced to adapt as some colonists simply refuse to perform some tasks. The depth of health particularly amuses me, in that each little part of someone’s body is modelled in a way. If you’re in a firefight you may take a single bullet which grazes your finger and you’re fine. Alternately it could pierce your human leather cowboy hat, your skull and kill you instantly and the game will tell you exactly what happened. The risk/reward element is addictive enough, and that’s without accounting for just how cool it is to see your colony slowly expand. Establishing more and more options for crafting is fun and shows off the full range of different items in the game which is fucking extensive. Between clothing, weapons, armour, sculpture and drugs to name only a few you have the opportunity to create many varied production lines either for your colonists or to trade for money and there is a lot of fun to be had here as well as it is quite satisfying to see psychoid you have grown personally become the cocaine your colonists snort to help them stay awake on limited sleep. From an archaeologist’s perspective it is especially cool to look back over your base and see the hints of how and why structures were built and remember the history of your limitations and development through structure. I think the lore of the universe is really cool too, a very 40k-esque kind of place except with far less order, somehow. But the universe does an excellent job of feeling alive and moving constantly on both a planetary and interstellar level. You can fully believe that while you build wooden shacks to shield yourself from terrifyingly low temperatures there are simultaneously rich pieces of shit living it up on the glitterworld that’s one system over. The music does an excellent job of creating the wild west frontier atmosphere the game cultivates to great effect. Ultimately, for just being a grid with a series of different numbers attached, this game does a fantastic job of creating a compelling, brutal and very real colony management experience. I dont think I can properly put into words the grandness and scope of this one. I didnt even mention the modding scene, which is expansive and tailors to basically any need you could have. The Rim is a terrifying place but theres so much fun to be had.

Factorio (86 hours, mostly 1.1): Having completed a game of Factorio I can tell you reliably that this is one of the best games ever made, thoroughly addictive and fun. If you like numbers, logistics, TRAINS, its gonna be your thing. Not to mention its probably the only documented case of a game with no bugs (so far as official forums are concerned). Strictly speaking this games combat is not the most engrossing thing but good lord do you feel it when you acquire a flamethrower. The way each aspect of the game (production, research, logistics, combat, upgrades for everything therein) feeds into the next is a really well constructed balancing act such that you must experience the full game in order to complete it and I always appreciate this kind of design. I think its one of the best tenets of factory game design especially as its something present in Satisfactory too. Beyond all of this generalised good the game is also excellent in its intricacies, the architecture necessary to build a maximum efficiency base, the level of planning and organisation that can be employed is mind-blowing. Not to mention the mod community, factorion is already an extensive experience and some mad bastards have seen fit to complicate it further, hats off to them. This really is a great moment in gaming.

Destiny 2 (198 hours, all expansions, played some post Forsaken release, mostly Season of Arrivals onwards, spent roughly £20 on microtransactions):

This is a very interesting and enjoyable experience, but I must say it can be a bit controversial at times. What its does particularly well is moment to moment gameplay and design in all aspects. The game is stunning; between environments, cosmetics, shaders ships and ghosts there’s a vast range of incredible things to see, all rooted in the “pseudo-magi-science” aesthetic it’s got going on. The class design is excellent and you really do feel like you embody this rampaging madman / agile gunman / space wizard archetype, whichever you choose to play. The abilities, especially supers, are very satisfying. Everything has heft and power behind it which can be felt in all aspects of design; sound and animation is top notch. Movement is cool, you can feel how fast you move both on foot and in vehicles and the navigation has a little fun subtlety depending on your class jump, even if you can bounce unpredictably occasionally. But for the love of god why is the wall kick in there? It has only ever served to push me from a ledge into a bottomless pit. You're looking to remove antiquated content? Start there. Some guns are not so good to shoot but there’s such a great range of guns that are fun its like complaining about one drop in an ocean; and enemies are fun to shoot at, each faction distinct in meaningful ways and presenting an effective challenge. Speaking of oceans, that’s one way to describe the lore. I haven’t dived too deep but it keeps going down forever and everything I’ve read is intriguing. As a former Elder Scrolls lore nut this is something I could definitely sink my teeth into, though its much more of a pulpy sci-fi vibe than a pure nonsense vibe. I do think the game has a bit of a loot problem, primarily in regards to the conflict between high stats and looking good. This should never be a conflict, and yes you can apply ornaments to any purple gear but that’s not enough when I spend the entire time grinding power levels and thus must change armour and weapons on a constant basis to progress. This game needs a true transmog system and if not that, rethink how gear power level works. Perhaps rather than earning new instances of gear you always possess a version of it and the loot you acquire in missions just upgrades your instance to your current overall power level? This would serve to do away with the current upgrade system which I think is a needless additional grind. Perhaps it could be retained in using enhancement cores to empower gear as present but necessitating a whole upgrade module to keep your favourite weapon on hand is kind of painful honestly. There is also at present the issue of sunsetting gear, mildly controversial to say the least. If it’s necessary to streamline the game and make it function moving forward so be it but surely loot pools should be adjusted so you can actually get useful loot from older locations? And why sunset personal instances of gear which can be acquired at the regular power level anyway? I had to throw away my favourite bow and hunt down a new version of the exact same weapon for… what reason? I do think destination navigation leaves a little to be desired also. I get that having a physical hub world is meaningful but Destiny does not have a very extroverted community; I can count the times someone noticed me in the tower on one hand. And its not even like there’s fun activities to be found in the same sense as say Deep Rock Galactic, which really does take advantage of its hub. Perhaps for players who simply want to go about their business all of the vendors could be set into a menu system where just clicking an icon takes you to their menu from anywhere in the system rather than, per se, having to go through an entire loading screen (Which takes you to orbit and back) to reach a location which serves simply as the front for four menus. These are established player problems. As a dedicated PvE player I can say that this game is immensely fun in combat and growing in power does feel really good. It’s something I recommend getting into, there’s just some very large creases that need ironing which the Bungie should really take the time to address rather than pushing out new in game content every three months.

#the truman show #horizon zero dawn #rimworld #factorio #destiny 2 #d2 #film #movies #video games #i dont know what im doing #hzd #opinion

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anokaiwritingblog · 3 years

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Finally completed my short story assignment. My classmate tore into it and call it confusing and that I should just throw it away but I still love it :)

As preface, this still is not a complete story. I need to heavily emphasize that it’s just the beginning, middle, and end. All the connection bits aren’t included since this is just a showcase. I distinctly separated it using a boarder. So, it will be confusing if you read it straight as if it’s the complete work. I needed to say this since a lot of people didn’t understand the formatting and why I should redo it.

Once every century, it is said that the planets of the solar system align perfectly. In a perfect row, they cast upon the ultimate shadow upon one another; opening the gates to other realms far from our own. It was said that the fallen god rose from this gate and set his sights on destroying our system just like his own. But where evil went, goodness was sure to follow. Out from this gate came the Holy Maiden and her summoned knight. Together, they sealed away the fallen god and cast light back into our system. The two understood that the battle was far from over. “Catch a fish for a man, he would eat for a day. Teach the man how to fish, and he eats for a lifetime.” Despite their love for each other, the Holy Maiden and her summoned knight agreed to go on separate pilgrimages to spread their teachings. The Holy Maiden remained in our system and founded us, the Holy Order, to pass on her teachings and traditions to future Holy Maidens. Her summoned knight, on the other hand, returned into the gate and spread his words to the numerous realms behind the gate. With their sacrifice, we have prevented the fallen god’s awakening over a thousand times…

“Ay yo… so, like… cool lore but like… pretty cringy not gonna lie. You lost me at the “aligning of the planets” bit. It went from horoscope bullshit to cliched pre-teen novels with a bit of JRPG elements in there,” a voice spoke out, breaking the breathtaking spell that weighed heavy in this beautifully painted dream.

The wind blew soft through the empty courtyard as no one said anything. In a walled-off garden stood seven bodies, each facing each other in a circle with a pond that separated each figure. Each stood on their own path that was surrounded by the water on each side but behind. A mini pier if you wish to imagine. The water was clear, yet the light was too blinding to see past the surface. All seven figures were outlined well enough to show that they were all women, yet a shadow covered their faces to remain a mystery to one another. Sitting above all this was a pink-haired woman. Her hair was braided back and looked far too youthful to be talking like an elder. Her prink eyes scanned each woman to search for the back talker, a glare like a dagger and on edge. Despite that, she kept an icy façade.

“Who cut me off? Head Nun of the Holy Order?” the pink-haired woman spoke up, looking down at the crowd of women below her.

“Uh, me.”

Slicing through the air, the Head Nun’s eyes locked onto the woman who spoke up; her hand raised slightly while maintaining the image of being smaller than what she was. Her limbs were tightly held together like a defensive turtle yet flashing a Chester cat grin as acceptance of the attention. “No offense lady but I felt like I heard this exact same plot with some gacha game I played last month. Can we just skip all this tutorial nonsense to get to the fuckin’ point already?” the woman continued, her blunt and straightforward words not matching the lowkey appearance she was trying to give off.

“Oh! You played Fate/Grand Order too? I’ve been trying to pull Gilgamesh for my team for months,” the woman on the right of the back talker chimed in. Though she was covered in shadows, the third party was animatedly clapping her hands together in excitement that she found a companion who played the same game.

“Eh, I stopped after two months. The drop rates are insane for that game and you don’t get enough of the in-game currency. I prefer Epic Seven since you actually win the gamble in summoning a strong hero-“

“Silence!”

Slamming her hand against the armrest of her chair, the Head Nun demanded all attention back onto her. The sound of flesh against marble echoing throughout this supernatural courtyard. Zeroing in out the outlier, the Head Nun sized her up before letting out a scoff. Receiving this judgmental look was a young woman of 21 years. If she never stood by herself, she might have blended in with a crowd with her rather ordinary looks. Brown hair, matching brown eyes, and a pair of glasses. Tell that description to any sketch artist and they would draw any other woman. One in five women looked exactly like her. Was that statistically correct? Of course not, but most would believe it these days.

The nun craned her neck over these seven women, peering down with arrogance. Who would have thought that the bold one in this group wasn’t the goth but this… loser. Despite not being affected by the spell, the rebel was overseen like the shadow of her chair or the trees. “Are you done speaking over me?”

“No, actually. You aren’t hurrying the fuck up and you rudely cut me off from having a pleasant and stimulating conversation from my neighbor here,” the woman said, “If you aren’t going to tell me what my horoscope is, I don’t want to hear another hour of lore.” From her side, the woman could hear the reactions from the other women who listen to this back and forth. Some ‘tsk’ from her disrespectful actions while others acted a bit shocked. Of course, some snickered at the show while one seemed to be rather disinterested. Tough crowd… To be fair, she wasn’t normally as blunt as she was today. She knew when to keep things to herself but quite frankly, this lady was going on for the last hour about prophecies and cosmic evils. This nun sounds like those writers who only focus on worldbuilding and not writing their stories.

“Hurry up? We’re talking about the end of the world- YOUR world. This “lore” is vital. People’s lives are at stake with this information, Two,” the Head Nun said.

“Shit, really? Then why don’t you act it? Literally… no agency. This is the part where a creative writing teacher tells you “show don’t tell”,” Two answered right back; sarcasm dripping from every syllable. She wanted to correct the hag. Her name was Mia, but she understood there was anonymity for a reason. She was tactless, not stupid. Well, Mia would argue she had some tact, but her patience ran thin for this grossly, mishandled magic society. She thought those campy young adult books with organizations ran by idiots were meant to be… you know, fiction?

It all started right when Mia got to bed. She just got home from a long shift at work and all she wanted was nothing more than lay in bed. And that she did once she took an evening shower before bed. It was normal, everyday stuff for the third-year college student. She had school tomorrow and Mia just wanted to rest her aching body. As soon as her head hit the pillow, she opened her eyes to a completely new world. Looking around, she found herself not alone. There was one other person with her face covered and the pink-haired woman as well. Mia was greeted as “Two” and was told to wait for the other five to show.

That was an hour wasted in waiting and add in the additional hour for the hefty speech, we got our recipe for an irritated Mia. She didn’t go to bed just to stand up for two hours for some fantasy bullshit. Any other time? Sure. It’s cool. But now??? WHEN SHE HAS A TEST TOMORROW?! INCONVENIENT! It killed Mia since this was pretty fucking cool and different from the norm. Everyone dreams of being picked the chosen one but, come on… this was too predictable. If you read a fantasy book or consumed any fantasy media before, then you know what’s going on.

“Rude child. This information isn’t something as trivial as a novel,” the Head Nun spoke, looking down at Mia like a haughty teacher.

“I’m gonna assume that we’re all candidates in being chosen as the new Holy Maiden. We chose our knights or whatever. Compete and whoever wins must reseal the fallen god then tada! Happy ending! Yay!” Mia said. She even raised her hand at the ‘yay’ portion of her phrase. “Listen, dude, I play too many games and read a shit ton of books for this. Can we please not do this while I’m in my pajamas?” Mia said, practically begging to be released from this mild inconvenience.

“… You guys weren’t exactly chosen. The universe brought you to us…” the Head Nun spoke, not really arguing with what Mia said. There was a cocky grin on Mia’s face as she just couldn’t help but find it funny how she got some otherworldly person tongue-tied.

“A lottery system huh… sounds about right. An NPC like me wouldn’t be chosen normally… I’m way too smart to be the main character,” Mia thought. She glances to the side for a moment before back on the show.

“Well… I’ll work with Two on this point and speed things up. Time is of the essence,” the head nun spoke, acting as if she was graciously fulfilling Mia’s wish. At this point, Mia didn’t care. Whatever helped the nun feel powerful or whatever… “As Two pointed out, all seven of you are candidates for becoming the new Holy Maiden. You will come into this realm three times a week for your lessons to strengthen your magic and during your regular days of the week, you seven will compete with one another. Your knights are the extension of your magic. When one knight trumps the other, they prove you are the strongest magic user and your defeated candidate is knocked out of the running. This continues until the last one is standing,” the nun explained, “We have hidden your faces and names from each other to keep you guys from cheating and attacking each other when you aren’t ready for combat. If you wish to fight, it’s up to you guys to discuss how to go about it.”

“A battle royal? I thought dystopian novels where kids kill each other in a game were out of fashion? I mean- they already got the Mirai Nikki vibe with the covered faces in the central hub…” Mia thought. She laughed under her breath with mild amusement at this idiotic situation. Deciding that it was best to keep her thoughts hidden now, Mia turned her focus on surveying the competition. She wasn’t sure if she was going to take this seriously, but she thought she should start hiding her thoughts on the matter now. “The Head Nun never said we couldn’t figure out each other’s identity and jump them… nor any etiquettes of battle… how curious,” she continued her train of thought as she waited for the nun to finish.

“We’ll now do the summoning ritual. One, please kneel and place your hand into the water to help your knight rise,” the Head Nun spoke. One looked around confused by the order, but she soon nervously did as she was told. She knelt and placed her hand inside. There was a good pause before One jolted. Slowly, One stood up to her feet as a tall figure rose from the water. Just like the maidens here, his face was hidden from everyone else but his master, no doubt. But his figure was very much noticeable.

“YO! Did you just summon a furry?!” Mia exclaimed before bursting out laughing. She pointed a finger at the woman next to her in a mocking fashion. While she couldn’t see the competition, Mia could at least see a pair of fuzzy dog ears on the knight’s head. But despite her words, Mia knew that, realistically, this knight was most likely a beast-man or even a werewolf. She simply didn’t want to lose this chance to taunt her competition.

“Two! Please restrain yourself and respect your fellow maidens and their knights,” the Head Nun spoke. The pink-haired woman coughing into her hand to break up the interaction. “Now, for the love of God. Please shut up, kneel, and summon your knight.”

“Damn, at least ask for my consent before forcing me on my knees,” Mia muttered before kneeling as instructed. She felt rather stupid but seeing how the first maiden got a knight, Mia decided to just trust the action. She submerged her hand in the opaque lake. It was wet alright. Yet despite being in spitting distance to the surface, Mia couldn’t see past her reflection. “Come on RNG don’t fail me now. A hot guy would do wonders for my mental health,” Mia joked, “I hope re-rolls are free.”

On the edge of non-existence and existence, a subconscious mind rose to consciousness once more. He drowns in nothingness and breaths in hopelessness.

There was no sky nor ground to define his abysmal prison. Not even a memory to keep him company.

A hand reached out from above. A hand surrounded by light and a promise of warmth. He attempted to reach for it, yet he was restricted from moving and was forced to watch another steal the opportunity from the shadow. He watched the pair of hands meet and just like that, the light was gone.

He sank deeper into the depths of this unholy waiting room.

Yet again, a hand was extended from the dark with the temptation of freedom. Cautious to reach for it after the first time, he looked around for others who wished to take it. Many came and all walked away. No one wanted to take this hand.

He attempted to take it, if only to escape but found that he was unable to pry himself free. Defeated, he decided to give up on the opportunity. It was pointless anyway.

Left unheld, the hand does not reel empty-handed. No. Instead, it curled its fingers until one finger remained up.

One big ‘fuck you’.

What the fuck? So much for an inviting presence. Who did this person think they are? It wasn’t like he didn’t try to take their hand. But seeing this middle finger dangling in front of him like a fishhook with bait, he reached for it once more to drag the hand down into the depths with him. He was tied in place but after some furious tugs, he was freed with a pop.

Taking the hand, it became evident that the one getting snatched wasn’t them but him. Curled fingers shifted forms into a vice grip around his wrist upon skin contact. The dark veil that covered him was ripped off in that instance. Lights, sounds, textures, tastes, and smells flooded his senses as he became a person once again.

Planting both feet on the ground, Mia used both hands to reel up her prey. This summoning was nothing graceful like the woman next to her. It was primal and chaotic as Mia’s partner was floundering under the water. So much for a knight in shining armor. This guy isn’t fighting any dragons anytime soon if he’s having difficulty wrestling against an inanimate substance.

Letting out a battle cry, Mia used all her strength to bring her knight to the surface and onto the pier with her. It wasn’t his entire body but enough of it was on land that it was easier to drag the rest of him out with less trouble. Mia fell backward on her butt and was slightly out of breath after that intensive ritual. Shiiiit. Carrying a body is a lot harder than it looks, kids! Don’t trust what you see on TV.

Mia was the image of ‘tired’ with her slightly flushed cheeks and skewed glasses. Fanning herself, she patiently waited for the man she pulled out to make the first move, yet he was belly-down, still as a doornail. For someone who had a lot of energy to fight against help, he suddenly became as complacent as a kitten.

Oh fuck... he isn’t dead, is he? Cause that’ll be pretty awkward ngl

Mia leaned forward to inspect what she pulled out. She lifted his pale arm to search for a pulse. It was cold to the touch and she couldn’t tell if the steady thud she felt was his or an echo of her own. Upon letting it go, it limply fell to the ground with no flinch from him. Crap. Don’t tell her that she accidentally pulled out a dead body?! Well, Mia knew that pulling trash can happen during fishing mini-games but she thought that this more of a “guarantee knight summoning” deal. Mia refused to believe that she waited five humiliating minutes waiting just to pull out a corpse. She wants a refund, god damn it!

Moving his head, Mia planned to check his pulse from his neck to double-check if he was dead. There was no resistance in the action, yet she found herself meeting a pair of responsive red eyes peeking from between snowy white hair. The two of them stared at each other for a moment as they both seemed like caught criminals in the middle of a crime. The man’s chest raised up and down as he breaths; a piece of evidence that doesn’t escape Mia’s attention. He’s…

“HE’S HOT!!!”

Scrambling to her feet, Mia put both her hands in the air and let out her victory screech to the worried silhouettes surrounding her. No, wait- she should be yelling how he was alive, not his appearance. Yet here she was, doing a victory dance on top of her knight in a pair of polka-dotted pajamas. Give her a pitchfork and a tail then you got the image of an imp dancing on a grave. “Bro! He’s so hot... Edward Cullen lookin’ ass- I mean, not like the musty looking Robert Patterson version but how you imagine he looked like based on the description,” Mia explained to anyone listening with a wildly inaccurate and vague description of the man. She waved her arms animatedly as she gossiped with her peers with the person in question crawling to his feet.

“Dude, that should be the last of your concerns,” Five said.

“I think you should make sure he’s okay…” Seven said, joining Five in expressing concern.

“Whoa there! You can’t really blame my maiden here for getting hung up on my dashing good looks. Dead or alive, you’ll notice my face first before anything else.”

Laying a heavy hand on Mia’s right shoulder, the man wrapped his arm around the woman to stand in solidarity with her. Surprised by the action, Mia tilted her head to the side to look at her knight to judge which side he was playing on. She locked eyes with him once more but not on accident this time. His touch was uncomfortable, yet she doesn’t push him away. They were a pair of souls with two different goals yet had a silent agreement to meet in the middle for the moment.

“Good to see you again, Catherine. You hardly look over two thousand years old,” Mia’s knight said, being the first to break their line of sight to look at the Head Nun. The nun sneered as the source of her stress doubled over the course of ten minutes.

“Ashley…” the Head Nun said, nearly hissing out the name. Her knuckles were turning white due to how tightly she held onto her armrest.

“Ash,” he corrected her, with an equal amount of distaste in return. Ash was smiling but he was on edge just like the Head Nun. But this rivalry was interrupted when Mia pinched Ash’s hand to catch his attention. He looked back down to receive Mia’s disapproving expression at his brief quip with the Head Nun. It seemed hypocritical that Mia was suddenly policing his attitude considering she was flaunting on the competition, but Ash clocked on what’s making her step in. “It’s okay,” Ash said, leaning down to whisper into Mia’s left ear, “This was just between me and her. No one heard me use my name. Not like it matters.”

“I’m just disappointed that you don’t have a chainsaw for an arm,” Mia whispered back, pretending she never had that concern by throwing out a seemingly random thought. Ash stared at her as if she was insane and as if to say ‘what are you talking about’ with expressions alone. “What? You never seen the Evil Dead franchise?” Mia whispered, “Not a fan of zombie movies?”

“You watched me rise from the depths, fight other knights for a living, and you’re asking me if I’ve seen a movie?” Ash said, in disbelief at her question yet finding himself amused by it at the same time.

“I take it that you don’t have Netflix in the void then.”

Watching the duo snicker and conspire with each other like a pair of high school delinquents, the Head Nun rubbed her forehead as a migraine began to surface. She was losing control once again thanks to double trouble. Even the other women who were patiently waiting began talking among each other. “Oh my god… like I thought, this was the worst combination I’ve ever seen in my lifetime…,” the Head Nun muttered to herself. She covered her face as she shook her head slowly as if she was contemplating something. “I didn’t realize it would be this bad… Out of all the times for that guy to make an appearance, he had to end up with her,” she continued muttering before ultimately lifting her head to look down at Mia and her summoned knight. The Head Nun needed to separate them. “Ah, Two? I don’t mean to disturb your… fun. But you summoned one of the more… troublesome knights considering his background. I’ll allow you to “re-roll”. How does that sound?” the Head Nun spoke, her voice sickening sweet and fake.

Mia and Ash quickly turned to look at each other for how their partner would react. They wordlessly conversed with Mia gesturing the two of them then to the Head Nun. Ash’s only reply was an uncaring shrug but ended up nervously shaking off the water that stuck to his hair to appear distracted. “Yeah… no deal, Howie Mandel,” Mia said, trailing off for a moment to gauge last-minute expressions from Ash before turning her full attention on the Head Nun. “You doing that makes me want to stick with Mr. Abominable Albino even more,” she said.

“Abominable Albino?” Ash said. He had a hand over his chest and appeared almost offending by the alliteration. He was hardly offended by being called such a thing but the fact that Mia wasted a brain cell to make an awful pun in the middle of a fantastical end-of-the-world scenario was insulting all on its own.

“Whenever some untrustworthy figure makes some inflammatory comment about one of the main leads, they’re obviously doing that to cause a divide between the leads for their own benefit,” Mia continued as she ignored Ash’s offense to her words. She waved her hand in the air as if to disperse the fog of misinformation. “You even had a mini aside moment where you muttered to the readers that there’s something more about Ash!”

“Pardon?”

The Head Nun looked completely lost as Mia’s rambling turned to the meta and spoke about invisible audience members. But just like Ash, Mia ignored her words to continue her spiel. “And even if he’s a piece of shit. Worthless. Good for nothing. Pathetic. Deadweight. Only a pretty vase-“

“Okay. I think she gets it already,” Ash said, cutting in as the terms began to pile in his heart. He squeezed Mia’s shoulder to have her move on to the point.

“I will never give him up,” Mia said.

“And... why is that?” the Head Nun asked, wringing her dress in fear that Mia figured something out that she wasn’t supposed to.

“Because he’s hot. I made that pretty clear since the beginning,” Mia said. She held her head high and mighty with not even a hint of shame. For a moment, Ash was about to feel touched by Mia coming to his defense. Touched enough that it would make him loyal to her and act as a spark to a turbulent but heartfelt young adult love story that would turn into a mildly popular trilogy with an eventual movie deal before fading into obscurity. But the curtains closed on that sparkling yet oddly specific future as Ash realized that he was stuck with the weird kid. “I mean- I guess I value him as a person too… or something. Power of belief or whatever inspirational term author’s like to use to tug on heartstrings.”

“Enough! I’m done with this game,” the Head Nun said, “Have it your way, Two. We spent far too long on this. Keep your mouth shut for the rest of the ceremony. Or else.” Giddy that she came out victorious, Mia gave a pair of thumbs up and nudged Ash to signal that their partner was now secured. Though he was satisfied knowing that he wasn’t going to return to the void anytime soon, he felt like he lost just as much as the Head Nun in this one-sided deal.

“Next summon!”

Yelling at the top of her lungs, the Head Nun expected the ritual to continue once order was returned. Yet no one followed her directions. No one followed her directions? Scanning the crowd, the Head Nun noted that the count doubled during the back and forth she shared with Mia. “Can anyone explain why you aren’t summoning?”

“Um… we- I mean, the rest of us Maidens decided to go ahead and uh. Summon our knights,” Six said. Her voice quivered in being the one to speak on behalf of the other five women. Her silhouette could be seen wringing her hands for a moment before her knight took her hands to stop the nervous tick. The new silhouette was distinctly female. “We weren’t sure when you’ll finish talking with Two. So… yeah.”

The Head Nun’s eyes were as wide as dinner plates at the revelation. The… the sacred ritual. These women not only disrespected it but treated it as some trivial business. This wasn’t the DMV. There was a natural order to this that was vital to follow. A strong sense of ‘wrongness’ flourished in her mind and the Head Nun can only trace the source to a pair. The Head Nun’s eyes focused on the second team. No, not the team but the maiden in the team.

Doing her best not to point and laugh at the nun, Mia held her mouth with one hand and the other used to tug on Ash’s soaking wet shirt. Nodding patiently, Ash was agreeing that it was a funny show, but he was doing his best to escape Mia’s grasp. These two… as the nun thought, they were a troublesome pair, yet she was limited on what she could do against them. For the most part, she was meant to be an observer. She needed time to think about what to do with these two morons.

Waving her hand, the Head Nun dismissed the group. “Leave. Since everyone received their knights, there’s no reason why I have to hold you all any longer,” she said, “You will all return within the following week for training once you familiarized yourself with your knight.” The Head Nun overlooks the teams but ended up stopping on the second team once again.

“Awesome. I love when class ends early- but you haven’t exactly shown us the exit,” Mia said. She waved her hand wildly to gestured to the enclosed garden. With a Cheshire cat grin, Mia was ready for round three of verbal war with the Head Nun, but the nun was done with the antics. Raising her hand, it appeared that the nun was going to point to an exit but instead, a large gust of wind made an appearance. With a fierce blow, Mia was blown backward and fell ungracefully into the lake with a startled scream.

A flurry of colors passed her by as she sank into the depths. Like a dream, Mia found her limbs feeling sluggish, but the feeling didn’t last long. As everything came to an end and she was left in the dark, the faint sound of her alarm could be heard. Sitting up, Mia’s first act in waking up in reality was stopping her phone’s alarm and putting on her glasses. There were no questions to be asked. Mia woke up in her home. It was obvious the moment she felt her bedsheets and heard her all too familiar alarm. By the Seaside, if any reader was interested in knowing.

“Morning, Ash,” Mia said. She let out a yawn while giving the newest member of her household a wave. Shivering in his wet outfit, Ash was standing at the foot of Mia’s bed. His arms were crossed, and he was glaring at Mia who was taking everything with stride. She let out a lazy stretch before getting up to get her partner a much-needed towel. Living in a small studio, Mia only took five steps to reach the linen closet and only one good throw to pass a fluffy white towel to Ash. He caught it with ease and made quick use of it to dry himself. “You like bagels? Coffee?” Mia asked him. She took several steps to the kitchen area to grab herself a cup of water. “Or do you not eat? You look human but god knows if you function like a human. Do you need to shit?”

“You could at least act startled with me being here,” Ash said, refusing to answer the questions. Mia was in mid-sip of her water when told this. She put a finger up to signal Ash to wait. Putting down the glass, the glass clinking on the artificial wooden counter; Mia took a deep breath before pressing her hands to her cheeks and opened her mouth wide to mimic a surprised expression.

“Omg. A hot guy in my apartment? Holy guacamole, it wasn’t just a dream. My normal life will never be the same. Aaaaaaa,” Mia said. Deadpanned and devoid of any emotion, it was a patronizing act which only annoyed Ash.

“Okay. I get it. Here I thought my worst luck was not getting enchant with the anti-water spell and waking up with gaps in my memory,” Ash said. Suddenly, Mia jumped up and yelled out ‘bingo’. Startled, Ash stared at the eccentric women before looking away in fear that her weirdness would rub off on him.

“Fucking knew it. Amnesiac or plagued by memories. It’s always one of those two,” Mia said. She was doing another strange victory dance though it quickly ended with Mia apologizing. “Uh, sorry. Sensitive topic. But if it’s any condolence, you’ll get your memories back.”

“You’re something else entirely,” Ash said. The only words that came to his mind.

“I’m just your average manic pixie dream women,” Mia said. It was a joke that Ash didn’t understand but he got an odd sense that Mia wasn’t joking. He wanted to ask her what she meant but Mia commanded the direction of the conversation as she asked him a question he couldn’t ignore.

“Pop quiz: I want to know your opinion on this competition and if you really want to fight. Personally, I don’t give a shit about this competition,” Mia asked, At first, Mia was excited at the idea of magic and multiple realms being real. Her dry and ordinary life was finally turned upside down and she had no complaints. Life was that boring and she was jealous of novel protagonists going on these adventures just to bitch and moan about how rough their life was. But the best part in all of this: her summoned was an attractive guy. What more could she ask for? But then the responsibilities Mia had to do surfaced back in her mind. Holy Maiden lessons and some sort of honor match between the summons. Truth be told, the task at hand didn’t seem too difficult. It was simply a matter of “Eh, do I feel like doing this right now?” It was one thing that the fate of the world rests on her shoulders… but it wasn’t. There was a “chance” that she was the Holy Maiden. She isn’t the Holy Maiden, just a candidate. Which meant her other competitors could be that women.

Knowing that fact, should Mia really bother? “If I lose and someone else wins, the world is saved, and we continue with our merry way. If I win, I do things “my way” and the world is saved. With this logic, I don’t need to participate. It’s a win-win situation for me,” she said, explaining her thought process to Ash. The other six women seemed capable enough to come out on top and reseal the fallen god. It isn’t rocket science but magic. Mia wasn’t really needed for it. There were no pros or cons on if she participated or not. They both have their advantages with only one con each. If she goes through and lost, then she wasted all that time she could have used to play video games. If she doesn’t go through, then she risks someone unqualified becoming the Holy Maiden. Mia didn’t even need to question if she was qualified or not because clearly, she was the best choice out of everyone. Duh.

Mia pointed at Ash. “Which brings you into the equation, Ashley. What do you want from this entire exchange?” she asked him. Mia hopped onto the counter, crossing one leg over the other. She was smiling but it didn’t match her eyes. Cold and predatory, this wasn’t the same woman who was cracking jokes or making light of the situation. It suddenly hit Ash that he doesn’t even know her name. “Are you hoping to gain back your memories? Remain in this world? I can help you with that… but is that conviction strong enough for what I want?” Mia continued her interrogation, “Maybe it’s strong enough to fight off the other knights. Carry me to victory. But is it enough to kill a fallen god? Why don’t you tell me if it’s so, Ashley.”

∘◦ ❉ ◦∘

At the corner of Main Street and Jefferson Avenue sits a quaint Korean café which was cutely named ‘Seoul-ful Coffee’. It was packed with a flavorful blend of elderly Asians and trendsetting youngsters trying to appear cultured in an Americanized location. Several posters covered the windows with the bright red poster that reads ‘illy’ dominating the sights. There were tacky Asian decorations, most of which aren’t strictly Korean such as drawings of anime characters on the wall or Chinese scroll art but to the common layman, they wouldn’t know there’s a difference between the cultures.

Mia sat next to the entrance with a coffee in hand and a half-eaten cake before her. It was her fifth cup and second slice. She’s been there all day judging by the piles of finished piles of homework that were nicely stacked on the booth. The day has been going well, all things considered. She made a hefty gamble in exposing her identity to the other women in hope that they’ll consider the alliance she proposed the night before. She understood the risk both sides were putting by going against the Holy Order.

On one hand, Mia was the most dangerous competitor in this game as she already knocked out two teams while the others were still getting their shit together. Making an alliance with her only to turn out that it was a trap would only be disastrous. On the off chance that Mia was correct: that the Holy Order has been sacrificing the maidens to the fallen god to prevent his re-awakening then they need to accept her offer in working together. The strange deaths of One and Six weighed on everyone’s minds.

Mia was concerned that the group would disregard her evidence due to fear after the first two hours of waiting produced no results. It was a smart decision to have Ash go on a walk while she was left behind as the women began stopping by to show their interest in teaming up to kill the fallen god. They exchanged information and Mia explained how to avoid being dragged into Eden to avoid the Head Nun. With three women down, there was only one woman left to step in. Ironically, it was the seventh maiden and she was the last to come as evening painted the café’s beige walls orange.

Hearing the familiar chime of the front door opening, Mia placed down her pen as she made eye contact with the final woman. Left-handed, just as Mia initially noted when she saw the women’s silhouette for the first time. Seven was abnormally beautiful despite trying to act demure and average. She stuck out like a sore thumb in front of Mia, who was the antithesis of this woman. Messy brown hair pulled into a bun and wore a band tee, Seven came off as the sort of woman who wanted to be “the cool women”. These two women are a reflection of a self-insert Mary Sue and the average fanfic reader. How funny they’re meant to be universal puppets yet two people that no one could ever be.

“You made it in time, Seven. I was getting worried for a minute,” Mia said, gesturing to the seat before her to offer the newcomer a spot to sit. Wordlessly, Seven took a seat and stared at Mia. It was awkward, for the lack of better terms and Mia wondered if Seven lacked any social skills. “You want anything? Coffee? Boba? They have some good matcha rolls-“ Mia said, making some small talk to get her fellow competitor to stop looking at her with a vendetta. “Can I ask for your name? You’re here for the alliance, right?”

“No.”

“Uh… no to the name or the alliance?”

Mia set aside her things and clean her glasses in the chance that she’ll get dragged into a catfight. Though she wants to give Seven the benefit of the doubt, Mia got the sense that Seven was the type to see other women as the enemy. Not like Mia had any room to comment since she has been antagonizing the other women since the beginning but that was more for the sake of being a competitor. In the end, Mia much rather work with other women instead of being against them. Misogynistic women against other women was so early 2000’s.

“No to the alliance. I want to talk about Ashely.”

God damn it.

God fucking damn it.

“Ugh, are you serious? I’m trying to have this story pass the Bechdel test,” Mia said, cursing up a storm in her mind that Seven was wasting their time on something trivial. Gesturing to the door, Mia was dismissing the seventh maiden to leave. “Listen, I’m not going to police you on what you want to say about my knight but that’s between you and him,” Mia said, “He’s walking over at Clovers Park right now, okay… whatever your name is.”

“Lily.”

“Yeah, okay. So, Lily. Please kindly leave and talk with Ash like a pair of adults with functioning brain cells. If my name ever comes up, you can call me. But try not to drag me into this.”

“I need to talk to you first,” Lily said, insisting on talking about the missing party who couldn’t vouch for himself. Reluctant, Mia was planning to excuse herself from the situation but realized that it was for the best she listened to what Lily had to say about him. After all, Ash was her knight and by that logic, she was responsible for whatever mess he dragged in. Placing her hands on the table, Mia nodded her head to signal for Lily to continue. “I want you to give me him.”

What…?

What the fuck?

“Are you-?! Okay. Hold on. First of all, Ash isn’t an object to be traded and secondly, this sounds like something between you and him. I’ve been saying this since the beginning,” Mia said. Her voice rosed for a moment out of annoyance, but it quickly settled when she realized that Lily wanted her to get angry for Ash’s sake. Mia placed a hand to her forehead, too many thoughts crossing her mind but the disbelief in Lily’s audacity to pull something like this when people are dying is insane. The one time she wished that her predictions were wrong. Mia recognized that Lily had a bit of a crush on Ash ever since she noticed how the seventh team always wanted to spar with them in Eden. It was clear that Lily was connected to Ash’s past, but was that a good reason to stir shit up? Thank god she warned Ash about this possibility beforehand.

“Can you think of this rationally for a moment? As I said, I don’t care if there’s something between you and him. But asking me to give him up during a vital moment like this is both stupid and highly unethical.”

“You never really cared about ethics until now,” Lily said.

“That’s because there are some morals that are just unrealistic and that society placed on the disenfranchised to keep them tamed,” Mia said, quick with her counter. “I still have some core values, one being to not to be a piece of shit to my fellow man when I can help it.” Mia gave Lily a disappointed look before shaking her head. She wasn’t sure what this women’s case was against her. Ever since the beginning, Lily did her best to isolate Mia from the rest of the competition. Granted, Mia deserved it for being the massive bitch throughout the contest, but she was the first to dismiss the undeniable evidence of the Holy Order officials killing Six. “I’m trying to help you, but I don’t understand what you’re playing at. Trust me when I say that having a crush on a guy isn’t a proper reason to nuke everything we’re working for.”

“You wouldn’t understand. He’s my soulmate.”

Mia’s eyes rolled so far into her skull that she could watch her own soul escape through the top of her head. She didn’t want to be mean, but Mia can’t deny it any longer. This bitch is stupid-stupid. Flabbergasted that Lily could say something so ridiculous with a straight face, Mia’s mouth opened and close as no words came to mind. She laughed for a split second before covering her mouth. “No!” she exclaimed, a laugh escaping her throat. Immediately, Mia shut her mouth and continued this process several times until she was finally composed. “I mean- I get it. Emotions. Crazy things they are. I get it. I’m not invalidating your strong, uh, feelings for Ash,” Mia said, “But, uh… how do I put it. I can tell your frontal lobes are currently off because of this passion. But you don’t need to worry about me in this picture. Ash? All yours. Just… I can’t exactly give him to you as how you’re asking.”

“I’ll trade you my knight, Erik. You saw him before- I think he fits your taste,” Lily said. It was like she never heard Mia’s words. She pulled out her phone and pulled up a picture of her knight to show to Mia. Erik was the definition of a knight in shining armor with well-kept blonde hair and sparkling blue eyes. He was attractive but Mia preferred the lonely-looking Ash more. Mia placed her hand on the phone and pushed it back.

“Looks aren’t everything. It’s… look, I’ll do the trade as long as Ash expresses that he wants to do so. But I rather not since the situation right now is kinda intense,” Mia said.

“Do you want money? I’ll pay you whatever you want- I have a blank check,” Lily continued. She pulled out a wrinkled check now and push it towards Mia to pressure her into agreeing. Troubled by Lily’s desperation, Mia was trying to find what magic words she can tell the seventh maiden to get her to back off. Noticing that this tactic didn’t work as well, Lily turned to the last thing up her sleeves. “I know how to kill the fallen god. I’ll do it. All you need to do is hand Ashley over and forfeit. That’s it. I’ll save the world.”

Mia stared at Lily in shock at the final proposition. It seemed like she was going to accept the deal but instead, Mia slammed her fist on the table. “How can you be so selfish? Let’s say hypothetically you do know how to kill the fallen god. You willing allowed two people to die and jeopardize more lives- for what? Some passing crush?” Mia said, in awe that there was someone this egotistical. Some people called Mia a narcissist, but they never met a woman like Lily before. “Leave. I got nothing for you. This is between you and Ash, as I said since the beginning. If you two settle on something, then I give you my blessing.”

“Do I have your word?” Lily asked. She stood up, excited by… whatever Mia just given her.

“Yes. If Ash wants to be with you, I won’t stop this. Now go,” Mia said. She picked up her coffee cup and took a sip. It was cold.

Leaning forward, Lily brought her lips to Mia’s ear to whisper. “Don’t worry. He wants to be with me. I already talked to him. I’m just giving you a warning- as fellow sisters in arms, of course,” Lily said, her breath was strangely cold unlike the warm breath a human should have. “Try not to be jealous.”

At those words, Lily stood up straight to savor the bitter expression on Mia’s face. Turning her head slightly to glare at Lily, Mia began grinding her teeth as she recognized the smug expression on the seventh maiden’s face. Waving goodbye, Lily skipped out of the shop to leave Mia alone with her thoughts.

Fucking pick-me girls. It was a term that Mia didn’t want to use but it was the only thing that crossed her mind. Frustrated, Mia balled her right hand into a fist and knocked against the table impatiently. Lily talked to Ash before this? Mia got a dreaded sense that she made a mistake in not being firmer with Lily, but she wanted to believe that Ash knew better than to go with someone like her. She specifically warned him about this scenario. But Mia also told Ash that she intended to respect his decisions regardless if they were good or bad but this was really fucking bad. Ash wasn’t just her partner but also a friend to Mia. She only hoped that he valued her opinion as much as she valued his. God…

What did Lily tell him?

✥Ash✥

Fuck.

Oh fuck.

This is really fucking bad.

Mimicking the pose of The Thinker, Ash stared straight ahead with his mind consumed by a torrent of thoughts and new information. Though he couldn’t register why, he watched several children get herded along by worrying mother to escape his field of vision. There was a look of murder in his eyes and his mind wasn’t far from that appearance. The seventh maiden’s words still echoed his now cleared mind. The fog that covered the gaps between memories was gone and all that was left was the horrifying reality of his past actions. Everything he did for Lily in his last summoning. He did it all… for love.

Ash finally understood why Mia always said the word with such distaste. Why she said every emotion was ugly if you let it mindlessly consume you without control. He can vividly see it, the blood that was on his hands. The sounds of those women screaming as he killed them while their knights could only watch. He did it because Lily asked him to do so, justifying that they were going to die anyway. At the time, it sounded like the most reasonable thing in the world. Even now his mind was trying to tell him that he did the right thing but the disconnect between him from the past and him right now were two different people.

Lifting his head and leaning back to rest his back against the park bench, Ash allowed the sunlight that got past the leaves above to put him in a daze. Christ. What was he thinking back then? You weren’t thinking, Mia would say. He can picture her calculative words of wisdom. If it wasn’t for the fact that Mia warned him about this outcome when he decided to chase after his missing memories, this revelation would have possibly destroyed him. Consume his current identity and replace it with the past version of him. Lily must have thought the same thing when she told him what to do next after being told his past.

“Go back to Mia and tell her that you want to be my knight. She’ll approve it. I promise,” she said, “You’ll find that she isn’t fond of you. Not as much as me.”

Of course, Mia would approve of it if he were to propose this idea. Despite her teasing attitude, Mia never suppressed his opinions. Not like the soft-spoken Lily in his memory. He couldn’t believe the past him was head over heels in love with her. Lily was as forgettable as they come- a forgettable side character, as Mia liked to call them. If he didn’t know better, Ash would have assumed that these memories were false. Mia would have told him to verify that fact. And verify he did. There was no magic used nor any memory manipulation. All of this came naturally to him. But despite that fact, these memories didn’t feel organic. It didn’t feel like it matched his character.

Mia constantly reassured Ash that he was a good person despite the evidence pointing otherwise. Maybe she already guessed that he killed many people before, and she was only saying that to keep him from being unable to fulfill her goals. She was always open with what she wanted. No, that wasn’t right. He was villainizing Mia just to justify his actions. But even still, it made him break rule number one constantly as he didn’t want to reveal the memories that surface. The feelings he felt. He was scared that she’ll tell him to leave. Return to that cold, lonely abyss. But look at where it got him, getting consumed by these complicated emotions, just as Mia warned him about. Even now, he wanted to accept Lily’s deal just so that he didn’t have to… disappoint Mia. He masked one secret with others and created one big mess.

No, Ash was done with this downward spiral. Mia has been meeting him halfway ever since the beginning and he just been refusing to accept it. For what? Because of pride? Fear of rejection? Those concepts held him back. There was so much he wanted to tell Mia. Conversations he forgo and replaced with banter. The memory of his past felt like fiction while the time he shared with Mia felt real. Authentic. Fighting the other knights was all he knew yet it felt like a dream when contrasted to watching movies with Mia.

Already on his feet, Ash began walking towards the café. He spent too much time thinking when he should be talking about what just happened. This was just another tactic to get them separated. To ruin their partnership. He almost fell for it but that was why Mia created rule number one: no secrets. The distance Ash put between them was large, yet he knew Mia was waiting for him to catch up. His brisk pace turned into a run as he didn’t want her to wait any longer.

Cars, trees, buildings, and people all blurred past him as he ran to the café Mia was in. He felt stupid knowing that Mia was busy trying to stop the end of the world while he was busy feeling sorry for himself. It only made him want to come clean about everything. As the café’s iconic red poster came to view, Ash slowed his pace before ultimately stopping in front of the café’s glass door. Pulling it open with more force than needed, Ash put his desperation on display for all to see as the wind chime above the door made an ugly clang of metal hitting glass.

Sitting right where he left her, Mia barely spared him an acknowledging glance as she drank her coffee. Out of everyone in the shop who ogled Ash from his action, it was only the person he was looking for who didn’t look back. “There you are, Ashley. I was getting worried you would never come,” Mia said, taking control of the conversation as she always does. “Judging how you’re out of breath, I guess you learned something spicy.”

Turning her head, Mia presented her usual teasing grin that was a lot friendlier. No, it was always friendly, but Ash didn’t want to view it as such. With her expecting him, Ash was quick to clock on that he wasn’t the only person Lily talked to. He took several long strides so that he can stand before Mia. “Lily talked to you too,” he said. It wasn’t a question but a statement.

Mia nodded her head. “Yup,” she said, popping the ‘p’. She gestured to the sit in front of her and Ash accepted it with no hesitation. His knees brushing against hers as he slipped before Mia. “Seemed like the bitch was a lot more cunning than I thought. But luckily, I was ahead of the curve,” Mia said. She paused for a moment to pass her uneaten dessert to Ash for him to eat. Apple pie based on its cinnamon-fruity scent “Still shocking though. How do you feel?”

“Surprisingly, not that bad,” Ash said. He attempted to reject the offer but after much prodding from Mia, he took a bite. Oddly, something sweet made the bitter situation a little better. “You prep me after all.”

“That’s good. Don’t let people lead you around if they hold something above you,” she told him, “I would say to forget about this, but I know you’re in a complicated position.”

“She told you about the deal.”

“Of course.”

“Did you say no?”

Ash knew the answer to that question but even still, he hoped that Mia told Lily to fuck off. That he was her partner. Yelled at Lily in a fit of jealousy.

“You know I can’t speak for you. This is between you and her,” Mia said. Ash hung his head down in defeat. He knew how Mia was, but it still hurt hearing her diplomatic stance on the situation. “But… if you want to hear my opinion on this. I don’t think this is a good idea. To be honest, I think Lily is a toxic piece of shit and you have to be blind to go with her,” Mia said, “But it’s up to you. Maybe you know something I don’t.” Ash felt a lot better with the clarification from Mia. It wasn’t that she didn’t care about him but gave him autonomy.

“Yeah, your right. You don’t know something about this deal that doesn’t make it work. About everything that happened really. Lily probably doesn’t anticipate it either,” he said.

“Really? What is it?”

“I… kind of… like you. A lot. Romantically.”

∘◦ ❉ ◦∘

“Ouch! Shit! Can you be a little more gentle!”

“Hwy don't yoo try bandagenng a woond in a dark fuckenng roum!”

With a flashlight in her mouth, Mia squatted next to Ash. The bright light shining on his face, forcing him to cover his surviving eye. Blood heavily seeped down from the other one. Trail of red tears oozed from the gash that was once his left eye. It made Mia sick to look at, knowing that Ash may never be able to use it again, but she didn’t want to worry the guy. They got this far, and she didn’t want him to freeze up fighting like that again. She couldn’t do much for it, let alone save it. She wrapped the bandage around his head tightly… at least she could stop the blood.

“What did you say?!” Ash said, attempting to give Mia his signature smile only to falter back in pain as she pulled the bandage into a tight knot behind his head. Mia spat out the flashlight into her hand and pointed the beam away from his face now.

“I said, Why don’t you try bandaging a wound in a dark room,” Mia said, repeating her words in frustration. She wiped the blood she got on her hands onto her pants before standing up. She turned the flashlight around to look at the other teams gathering their bearings and patching up their wounds. One of the women was crying to her knight about her broken leg while another woman watched her knight snap his shoulder back to place. The supply packs they brought were in the center of the group; ripped open with the content inside spilled on the floor during everyone’s mad rush to get their hands on some light and the first aid kit.

It was a brutal, bloody mess. But everyone survived. That was the most important thing to remember. As risky as it was, if they were to let things played out as it always had for thousands of years, they wouldn’t be here complaining about their injures. Mia wanted to believe they understood that fact. The reason why no one was making a larger scene than this.

Mia’s eyes focused on the seventh team. Lily barely had a scratch on her as she looked down at the bloody mess that was her knight. Though Mia couldn’t hear it over the mutterings of the other teams and the disgusting way the walls pulsed, she could tell that the golden-haired knight was having difficulty breathing. While Mia was mostly unharmed, even she had several cuts and bruises in dealing with the Holy Order’s monks. Mia found it odd, but her attention was pulled by Ash taking her hand.

“Did you just call the cocoon of the fallen god a dark room,” Ash said. It seemed like Ash wasn’t aware of the current mood of the room as he attempted to banter with Mia. No, that wasn’t right. He knew it quite well but he didn’t want to be consumed by the hopeless feeling that hung in the air. Mia was the same.

“Do you want to acknowledge that the floor is squirming underneath you? No, of course not. We’re in a dark room and that it. No ifs, ands, or buts,” Mia said, turn her head down to look at Ash resting on the ground. He smiled at her but it shifted to a serious expression.

“Tell me honestly. The cut is bad,” he asked her. Mia considered for a moment in lying to Ash to ease his worry but decided that it was stupid. They both knew that his eye won’t work again and he accepted that he’ll gain many more injures to come. She’ll be insulting him if she treated this as just a paper cut.

“Well, that’s the bad news,” she said. Mia looked away as she attempted to think of something nice to say about Ash’s wound.

“There’s good news?”

“Yeah. You completely rock the pirate look.”

Ash rolled his single eye before scoffing at Mia’s strange words of encouragement. He felt better hearing it though. It was nice to have someone to joke with despite the dire circumstances. While where they were wasn’t the most ideal of places, Ash wished that time stopped right here. Not because of the miserable time everyone was having but to keep the final fight at bay a little longer. The same thought plagued Mia as well though she didn’t wish for time to stop but for a chance to speak her mind.

“So, um. Ashley,” Mia said. She turned her head back to maintain eye contact with him as she talked. She squeezed his hand which Ash returned. “I know that we promise to shelf this talk for another day and kinda awful to bring up, in general, considering everything,” Mia said, “But I want to give you an answer to your confession.” Ash’s eye widen at the sudden topic being brought up. He wanted the fallen god to make an appearance right here. Right now. Just so he doesn’t have to face the dreaded answer he’d been waiting for. Ash broke out into a cold sweat but in the end, he realized that this didn’t matter. It didn’t matter if Mia rejected him or not. He still wanted to be her friend.

“Responding to a confession right before the final battle? I thought you hated cliches,” Ash said. Teasing Mia to cover up the emotional roller coaster his mind was going through. “Scared it’ll be too late?”

“Yes, actually. I don’t like leaving loose ends,” Mia said, not a hint of shame in her tone. It made Ash shut up quickly. Pushing up her glasses, she took one look to gauge what Ash was feeling at this moment before she pulled the gun. “I’m happy that you like me, but I can’t return your feelings,” she told him, “At least… not right now. I’m not like you who just feel love just like that.” Mia snapped her finger. “It takes time for me to create a connection of that level. Maybe one day I might fall in love with you but right now, you’re my friend,” she said, “I don’t want to get your hopes up, but I don’t want to leave our relationship at this. I hope you can understand.”

Ash saw this answer coming. He saw it miles away the moment Mia warned him about developing feelings for her. He thought that it was all bullshit. That someone hurt her in the past or she was playing hard to get. But after spending some time with her, Ash realized that she was a complex individual and grappling with difficult concepts he couldn’t begin to understand. Ash barely even understood himself at times. Mia was the one person who seemed to have everything together, it was one of the reasons why he came to love her. But there was some baggage that he didn’t know how to help carry. At least not yet.

“Yeah. I understand. Whatever happens, at least we’re still friends,” Ash said. Though the rejection hurts, he couldn’t say that he was sad. Relieved if anything but, more importantly, determine to walk out of this alive with Mia. Finally letting go of Mia’s hand, he raised his arms to stretch before settling back down again. The air between them was awkward, at least for Ash forcing him to change the topic first. “Why the sudden serious talk? You’ve been saying this since the beginning. We’re going to win and make it out alive. Unless a new premonition came to you.”

“I told you. They’re not premonitions. I use logic and reason to come up with my predictions. That said, my prediction still stands. We’ll win and you-“

The words that Mia wasn’t able to finish were trapped in her throat as the room began rumbling and shaking. Several people screamed at the unnatural earthquake and Mia wasn’t sure if she was among the women who screamed. Ash quickly got to his feet and got ahold of Mia to keep her from falling. With shaky hands, Mia pointed the flashlight deeper into the cocoon. The darkness of it swallowed the beam whole but the light managed to reveal something slithering in the dark for a split moment.

“Is that… a worm?” Ash asked.

“No… it’s a giant snake,” Mia said, her eyes glued on where she last saw its tail. She almost missed it, but the snake’s red eyes reflected the light when her hand jerked right. In all of its scaly glory, Mia’s eyes trailed up its body as the last of the tremors stopped. The diamond-shaped head reared back and ready to strike. Though Mia knew better considering she was standing among a group, it appeared that the snake was looking right at her. Her blood went cold at the thought, but she didn’t let it paralyze her. The moment Mia found her voice, she was shouting out orders.

“Maidens! Remember the plan! Stay back and take the critically injured with us! We’ll maintain support from behind while the knights fight,” Mia yelled. She moved his arm away so she could move though she gave him an encouraging pat as he moved up to the front to fight with the other knights. Jogging up to the maiden who broke her leg, she signaled to the third maiden to help carry her back. The knight seemed worried to leave behind his maiden in this state but after a reassuring nod from Mia, he went to go join the line.

Wrapping her arm around the woman’s waist while the third maiden help from the other side, they quickly carried her away from the designated fighting area. “Keep your lights on the thing! It’s huge and fast!” she yelled, reminding the other maiden to keep her flashlight on the battlefield as they retreated. Gently placing the girl down, Mia quickly untangled herself to turn back around. The fight was underway as Ash and two other knights fought what everyone assumed to be the fallen god. The seventh knight, Erik was hobbling over to the battle. He wasn’t in any condition to fight as he had to use his lance to hold himself up, slipping down and ultimately collapsing.

Mia found it strange that he was attempting to push himself like this despite his injures. She was about to call him to hang back with her group when Mia counted one missing party. Lily! She looked left and right for the stupid girl but was quick to realize that her knight was most likely attempting to walk towards her. Tilting her flashlight down, Mia discovered Lily slowly walking up to the fallen god with her arms opened wide as if she was offering herself. Making a frantic gesture to the other three women, Mia broke out into a dash to grab Lily. Sure, she hated her guts but that doesn’t mean she wanted her to kill herself because of delusions of grandeur. “What the hell are you doing!”

Shaking off the three knights from its body, the snake snapped its head forward to strike the offered woman, but she was pushed out of the way by Mia who made it just in time. Unable to scream as the pain from the bite exploded in her head, Mia let out a grunt while seeing stars. The flashlight in her hands clattered to the ground. It felt like the snake intended to eat her as it attempted to pull Mia away from everyone, but Ash dug his sword into its side cause the snake to let go and return to the battle.

“Are you okay?!” Ash yelled, getting flailed around by the snake as it tried to shake Ash off. Holding her side, Mia looked at the damage left behind. Mia can only describe the chemical reaction her blood was experiencing was mind-numbing. Her blood turned viscous, making it hard for her to move. The only thing keeping her from bleeding out her guts at this very moment was one of the snake’s teeth left behind during its quick retreat.

This was very much, not okay.

“Yeah! I’m fine!” Mia yelled back. She turned her body away from the fight to keep Ash from seeing it. If he saw the state that she was in now, all this effort would be for naught as Ash would end up choosing her instead of the world. Letting out a groan, she held her side. Mia wanted to sit but knew that she couldn’t give anything away that would cause Ash’s worry.

“Tsk tsk. Someone broke rule number one,” Lily said, teasing Mia. The woman walked around her, smacking the tooth buried in Mia’s side as she moved to stand before her. Mia’s legs buckled for a moment, but she stood firm as ever. Lily frowned at the lack of weakness from Mia but she was soon smiling once again. “You better keep that in if you don’t want to bleed out! Oh but… the fallen god’s venom is poisonous too. So maybe it’s better for you to pull it out.”

“Why… are you like this? I don’t see how you fit in this equation,” Mia said, letting out a groan. “You’re normal based on my research. No connections to the Holy Order or the fallen god. If you’re angry at how I treated you, then I’m sorry. But don’t drag others into this.”

“Even when you apologize, you’re still disgustingly prideful,” Lily said, “I just simply hate you. For taking away everything that is mine. I will fix everything you ruined.”

Mia stared at Lily bewildered by what her rival meant. The girl was insane but was she that insane to risk the universe? Glancing back to the battle, the three knights should have taken the fallen god by now based on their collective strengths, but the snake still fought as if they never injured it. No! It was healing or rather… being healed. While Mia didn’t have verifiable evidence that Lily had something to do with that, she knew that there was no such thing as coincidence in this world. The woman’s strange actions solidified it and if not, then she was nothing more than a health hazard to everyone involved.

“You know. You really underestimate me,” Mia said. Her hand got a tight grip around the exposed part of the tooth at her side. “Just because I want to do the right thing doesn’t make me a good person,” she told Lily, “Even if it means taking unethical actions, I’m willing to make the hard decisions if it means it justified the ending.” Ripping the tooth out from her side, Mia felt the adrenaline pumping through her as she knew what to do.

And it seemed like Lily knew what Mia was thinking as well.

The woman attempted to flee from Mia, but she was quick to hold onto Lily’s sweater to hold her in place. The two of them struggled with Lily screaming for help. Mia gave Lily some shallow cuts before forcing her entire weight onto the woman and they both fell. Lily repeatedly hit Mia’s side to her to fall off, but Mia was far too focus to feel it. Raising the tooth high, she jammed it into Lily’s throat, digging it deeper until she stopped moving. Mia pushed the tooth one more time to make sure Lily was dead before rolling off onto her back. The deed was done and Mia couldn’t feel her hands anymore.

Her head was light, but Mia managed to focus more on the fight and less on the injury. Based on the sounds, the knights’ attacks were finally leaving behind some damage. It worked. Lily was oddly the key to this entire show. Mia wanted to make a horcrux joke but it was hard to stay awake let alone think of something clever. Thankfully, she didn’t need to be left alone with her thoughts as the room shook once more as the body of the snake collapsed mere inches away from Mia; crushing Lily’s body right next to her. Mia could hear Ash yelling for her in the background, but Mia couldn’t help but look at the close encounter with a god. She placed her hand on its cool scales and felt it take shallow breaths.

“You’re dying too,” she told it.

“Mia! Oh god, Mia!”

Dragging her away from the body of a god, Ash’s face hovered over her head as he forced her to look at him. He pressed his hand against her side to stop the bleeding, but it was already too late. Ash’s already pale face looked like a sheet of paper as he began desperately yelling for someone to help. Did Mia look that bad? She couldn’t help but laugh.

“Would you look at that, Ashley? All my predictions came true,” Mia said, “I predicted you’ll fall in love with me. I predicted that you’re a big drama queen. And I predicted that we’ll win, and you’ll survive. Aren’t I something?”

“Yeah, something else for making jokes right now,” Ash said. He began unraveling the bandages from his eye so that he could use them on Mia, but she placed her hand on his thigh to stop him.

“Don’t do that. I won’t be able to use it,” she said. She let out a dry wheeze as she found it hard to hold on to this life. “I need you to take every out of here. Though the seventh knight looks like he’s dead, he’s still alive. Passed out.”

“But, what about you?” Ash argued. He gently shook Mia’s shoulder as, for just a moment, she closed her eyes. Fear struck him as he thought that she was dead but Mia opened her eyes.

“I already did my mission. I have no regrets,” she said. Mia took several shallow breaths before continuing her train of thought. “You promise to follow seven rules if you want to be my partner. What was the seventh rule again?”

Ash didn’t want to answer her. He placed one arm under her knees and the other behind her back to carry her, but Mia pushed his face away. “What was the rule?” she asked him.

“If… if it looks like you’re going to die but we’re close to completing our goal then leave it be. You will manage somehow. And if you die, then you die satisfied,” Ash said, his face grim as the rule he agreed to wholeheartedly now weighed heavily on his tongue He felt sick. Another one of her predictions proven right. “I really wish you were wrong most of the time.”

“It’s all a number game, baby!” Mia said before letting out a series of coughs in expelling the last of her energy in a cheer. Ash tighten his hold around Mia before pulling her closer onto his lap. Mia smiled at him before leaning her head on his chest. “It’s okay, Ashley. We’ll meet again someday,” she told him.

“Is that a prediction?”

“No. A promise. It’s up to you if you want to make it true.”

“You’re a piece of work for making a promise that I have to keep,” Ash said. He laughed but there was hardly any humor in it. There was a long pause as neither of them had anything to say. Shifting Mia in his arm, Ash finally came up with what he wanted to tell Mia before she goes.

“Can I make a promise to you too?”

But Mia was already long gone without a single good-bye.

#my writing #snipbit of what I have planned #workshop was rough #someone said I wrote in first person???#another person said they were confused by Mia the character vs. Mia the author??? which doesn't make any sense #there was a 10 minute discussion about too much cursing???#Dont get me started about them not understanding which character was talking #Just say you didn't read the piece instead of making up random shit #tw for swear words #and everyone just said I should start over or break up it up when I'm going to?#I never left a workshop this confused and insulted #take my beaten child internet

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fae-fucker · 3 years

Text

Review: Death Wind by Tara Grayce

Essie should be planning her happily ever after, not planning a war. Although they once were enemies, the humans of Escarland and the elves of Tarenhiel have allied to fight the trolls from the far north. But alliances are tricky things even in the best of times, and with Farrendel, the elves’ foremost warrior and Essie’s husband, captured by the trolls, the circumstances appear dire indeed. But Essie won’t give up, and she will make her two peoples work together to fight this war if it’s the last thing she does. One way or another, she will get Farrendel back, no matter what it takes.

Gonna be honest, didn't expect much given my lukewarm reaction to the previous two books, but this one? This one actually held my attention for genuine reasons rather than just being a light read. Because the plot involves a lot of conflict (arguably the biggest conflict possible, war), the pacing is steady, and two of the three POV characters are mostly suffering and/or being tortured, there's actually tension for once. It's a welcome change, and proves that the author is very much capable of writing it but just chooses not to in favor of boring and conflict-free family interactions.

With Melantha introduced as a POV character, we're offered a pretty buckwild concept for this series: a character that makes mistakes and has to live with the consequences. I actually found myself liking Melantha, not because I thought she was a compelling character (she wasn't) or because I felt bad for her (I didn't), but because she had what Essie didn't: flaws. There's even a point in the book where Melantha thinks about how much she dislikes Essie because Essie is so sugary perfect and everything Melantha wishes she could be, and I think it's supposed to show us how bitter and insecure Melantha is? Except she's 100% correct, Essie is literally too perfect to be a real person and I just sat there going "yeah, you're right, and don't feel bad for being shitty because literally nobody can actually be like Essie."

However, Melantha suffers from Stupid Bitch Syndrome, which doesn't exactly make for a good protagonist/POV character. She's not intended to be dumb, the book expects us to think she was simply misguided and bitter and not, like, a complete idiot who should've known better. But her instant remorse feels less like character development and more like her suddenly realizing she’s actually a huge idiot who fell for the enemy’s nonsense, which she is. She's supposed to be an older elf, a grown woman, yet she makes such an obvious mistake and immediately regrets it and folds like a wet blanket the moment shit hits the fan. It's honestly a bit pathetic. The only reason I preferred her over Essie was because she introduced some much-needed depth to the character roster, but that depth was still about the size of a teacup, compared to Farrendel's thimble and Essie's singular water molecule. Her relationship with the troll prince was actually ... interesting? It was all mostly unspoken, which I think made it stronger than the overly telegraphed thing Essie and Farrendel have going on, and I’m sure it’ll be flattened out and become boring in the next book, so enjoy this potential before it’s wasted.

Farrendel spends the entire book being tortured and thinking about how he's being tortured. I can't blame him, but it doesn't make for good reading. I honestly think his POV could've been left out altogether and it wouldn't have changed much. Melantha is already there with him letting the reader know he’s suffering, we don’t need two POVs telling us the same thing. Oh uh, except for the part where he ... puts his magic in a soul-bond pocket. I'd mark this as spoilers but it's literally on the cover. I guess if his POV was removed then we'd never know how Essie learned to blast his power in battle at that one convenient moment, but it barely affects the plot afterward so um, yeah. I'm having a hard time justifying his POV at all. I'm still not over that part btw, how Farrendel just ... makes a "mental fist" (no, really), grabs his magic in one and his soul bond with Essie in the other and just puts them together like he's connecting two cables to an adapter. And he knew to do this ... how? It's not like we've seen him experiment with his magic before, in fact he's been shown to hate it and only use it when necessary, but apparently this tortured and exhausted man has the presence of mind to try something as vague and theoretical as ... putting his magic in a soul pocket. He spends a few pages going “I wonder if I can do this” and then it works on the first try. He does consider whether it’ll hurt Essie and decides not to try it, but as I said, he does it soon after anyway so like ... I don’t think it’s supposed to be funny or show how little of a shit he gives about Essie, but that’s sort of the implication and I thought it was funny as hell.

Anyway, the magic pocket is about as much worldbuilding/lore as we get from this series entry, aside from the trolls having their own political intricacies and tensions, which I’m assuming the next book will expand upon. The writing itself in this book was pretty bad at times. The repetition of certain words and names was really glaring in some parts and felt amateurish. Take a shot every time the word “magic” appears and you’ll be in the grave before the book ends. Prince Rharreth and King Charvod are almost always referred to with their full titles and names for some reason? A few editing rounds would’ve helped this a lot, methinks.

The plot is mostly moved along in Essie’s POV, which is slightly less insufferable than usual because she’s the one observing the movement of the two armies and there are actually action scenes in there that, while don’t exactly made me worried about her (there’s no way this perfect idiot will ever die), still provided some tension. But it’s honestly not much, the “war” lasted two entire weeks (and that’s including the strategy, logistics, and mobilizing) and with how fast the armies travel and how little resistance they face (and how Deus Ex Farrendel-d the final battle was, the guy is apparently full of godlike destructive power despite being starved and tortured, go off king), it all felt very unrealistic and easy. Like, we have two armies marching in the middle of a mountain chain during magical snow storms, all while being regularly assaulted by the defending army, and they still get there no problem, without a single mention of soldiers struggling not to die of exposure. Aight. I guess these elves and humans are just very resistant to the cold, for some reason.

I have a sneaking suspicion that the reason it goes over so fast in-universe is because the author wanted Farrendel to be horribly tortured throughout his captivity, but also knew that if that lasts too long, the damage will be too severe to easily resolve in the next book. But instead of easing off the hardcore torture, because then we’d lose out on that drama and those High Stakes, she decided to speed up the whole war thing, because hey, who cares about that, anyway? We just want Farrendel back, right? Riiiight? Better hurry up guys! Don’t want Farrendel to be too tortured to fix with some strawberry-flavored medicine and vague counseling in the next book!

So yeah, the plot moves on speedily, but at what cost? Mainly depth. Again. And once again, Essie suffers the most from being a bland caricature of a person and dragging the whole thing down. The author’s GR bio says she writes “spunky and tough” leading ladies, and I guess having no other things in your brain except sparkly kitten gifs is a certain kind of toughness in an “immovable object” sort of way, but “spunk” implies a of counter-culture edge that sweet widdle Essie simply does not have.

There was one small section where Essie felt bad over how the human and elven warriors were going to die, how many mothers and sisters and daughters would suffer just so she didn’t have to, but then we don’t find out the death count, the casualties are never even mentioned, and Essie moves on from this without even a single thought questioning the morality of a monarchy or her own position of power. Now, I get that that’s not the focus of this series, but it just adds to how Essie’s worries are always surface-level and never justified by the plot, how she never has to do any introspection and is never allowed to not always be annoyingly positive. Whenever she even begins to think something negative, she instantly, almost compulsively changes trajectory and just decides not to worry about it, and then it never comes up again anyway. This would’ve been like, an interesting take on toxic positivity and how Essie represses her own emotions, but no, the book never goes there, she’s just that perfect and wee and optimistic, even during a war and when her husband’s being tortured to near-death. It’s kind of insulting to read, honestly.

Oh yeah, that’s another thing that annoyed me. Even when she loses Farrendel, she takes it surprisingly well and focuses mostly on keeping a positive attitude for his sake, so he doesn’t feel her sadness through their “heart bond.” I never really felt her loss, her love for him, when she so easily could just decide not to feel bad “for his sake.” I want her to feel bad, I want her to miss him and to ache at his absence and to fear for what they’re doing to him. But no. That would just upset him more and hurt him more. So Essie doesn’t get to experience any negative feelings because it might upset her husband. Essie doesn’t get angry and determined to fight, she just keeps being her cheery little Stepford Wife self because being nice will keep everyone’s spirits up and make them hope and fight harder to preserve that hope!! :)

It just comes off as really flat and moralistic yet dishonest at the same time, because nobody would fucking react like this IRL. Essie might be a good person in-universe, but she drags the entire series down just by being perfect, cheery, and never, ever challenged or even allowed to challenge anything herself. Essie isn’t allowed to have any negative feelings because it might affect her husband, and yet we’re supposed to find this empowering somehow? We’re supposed to believe she’s spunky and confident and a sweet little firecracker of a redhead?

Eugh.

At least Melantha is an idiot, I guess. One whole female character gets to have a flaw, and she’s the almost-villain who needs to be fixed with love.

Idk man. The sexism in this series is like a constant undercurrent that grows stronger with each installment as our “understanding” of this world expands. All of Essie’s brothers, including the king, are at the front lines because they are manly men “have to” be there, while the women who aren’t Essie or Jalissa stay behind to be mothers and caretakers. It’s never expanded upon and just sort of accepted as part of both human and elven society and the narrative treats it like this obvious thing that even Essie doesn’t really bother noting how unfair and/or weird it is. There’s not even a single comment on it. Essie is in the war not because she can fight but because Farrendel needs her, and Jalissa is there because ... Um. Because ... she. Uh. She needs to be there when they confront Melantha? She’s Farrendel’s sister? Idk. Jalissa’s main point in this series so far seems to be the ship tease between her and Edmund that feels awkward and one-sided as fuck.

So yeah. The pacing and plot flowed along really well, but the characters and the writing and worldbuilding are all just really undercooked, which, at three books into the series, feels more glaring than ever.

But hey, at least it was a quick read!

#book review #elven alliance #death wind

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pathetic-has-been-rockstar · 3 years

Text

The bonfire surprise

Pairing: Crowley x reader

Written for: @spnchristmasbingo

Square/s filled: Chestnuts; Sitting by the fire

Warnings: none

Summary: still set to enjoy every bit of winter and holiday traditions, you decide to bring Jack to pick up chestnuts. Crowley joins you on the most innocuous hunt of the year, bringing Juliet along to spice things up. Roasting chestnuts on Hellfire never looked so good.

Words: 3091

Beta: @raspberrymama (I’ll never say this enough: check out her works!)

this piece can be found on AO3, here! If you’re interested in the whole series, you just have to click here!

“So... are you coming or not?”

Crowley tilts his head a bit, then nods, looking at you. “You know... yes. Since we've been consistently saving this world, it would be nice to take a walk in it.”

You were surprised when he decided to stick around for Christmas, or at least until the brothers don't actively start to try and kill him. He declared he enjoys the mayhem he can create frustrating Christmas' plans, but you suspect that he's probably just bored by his temporary lack of employment. You give him a small nod.

“Precisely what I was thinking.”

“Great. Now... aren't you forgetting something?”

You run a quick mind inventory, but nothing seems to be missing. “... like what?”

“Like the kid?” Crowley suggests, falsely helpful.

“... oh, no. Jack's in the car from like ten minutes. He can't wait to go.”

Crowley sighs dramatically. “Oh, to be young and eager again. Is it far?”

“About twenty minutes from here... why don't you come with us? You can try and crush Jack's optimism while we go.”

“I can do it on site. I've got someone to pick up, if it's all the same to you.”

“Oh... sure. Of course.” You are slightly curious and, even if you would never admit it, slightly disappointed. You were hoping for some time with Crowley, but he seems to have framed the occasion like a good chance to do... well, anything else.

“Fantastic. I'll see you there.”

“Hey, Y/N?”

“Yes, Jack?”, you answer after a second, emerging from your thoughts.

“Are you alright?”

“Yes. Why?”

“You are just very quiet.”

“I'm just... a bit tired, you know.” Of course you were quiet. You're dying to see who was so important that had to be picked up and brought to what feels like a family thing.

“Sure. So... how's it gonna be?”

Surprised, you throw a side glance at Jack. The kid is smart. “As it's always been, I guess. Why?”

“I've never picked up chestnuts.”

Of course. Of course it was about the chestnuts. You stammer a moment, trying to collect yourself. “Oh, it's fun, actually. You just have to watch out for the shells, actually. They're spikey, y'know. You put on your gloves, then we pick them up from the ground,and check if there are holes in them. If they're whole we can put them in the baskets.”

“What if there's a hole?”

“Well, that means there's a worm inside. It's not a problem if you accidentally eat it, since it's basically lived inside the thing its whole life and it tastes like that, but... let's just try and avoid it, ok?”

“Sure. No point in killing it just because it's in the wrong place at the right moment.”

You smile, surprised by the tenderness of his heart. The whole argument about his nature before he was born it feels incredibly stupid, now. The kid doesn't even want to kill a worm.

“Precisely. Besides, it might mean that the thing is rotting, and we don't want to deal with the consequences of eating spoilt food. Why don't you put on some music?”

Jack literally beams at the idea. “Can I connect my phone?”

“Sure thing, kid. We have about half an hour to go, connect the Bluetooth and jam away.”

The rest of the ride consists mainly in Jack humming Christmas songs and weird covers of them, while you keep your eyes on the road and occasionally sing along with him.

Once you get there, you immediately spot Crowley. Seeing that he's alone, you tilt your head.

“Weren't you supposed to pick up someone?”

“I did.”

He whistles, and a second later two hellhounds appear next to him, wagging their tails. He smiles at you, clearly satisfied by your surprised expression.

“I'm confident you remember Juliet and Banquo.”

“I do. How... how can I see them?”

“Because I let you.”

“... oh. Thanks, I guess.”

Crowley hints at them with a swift nod. “Go ahead, touch them. I know you'd like to.”

Trying to play it cool, you kneel down and pat the head of Juliet. A second later, Banquo is rubbing his head against your arm, almost throwing you off balance. Crowley immediately notices.

“Banquo. Settle down, boy.”

The hound whimpers and draws back, immediately obeying Crowley, who gives you a satisfied look.

“I trained them myself.”

“I figured that much.” you fire back. Like anyone else could train those hounds to act like that.

You're distracted by Jack calling you. You turn and you see the bundle of scarf, hat and oversized sport coat wandering among the trees and picking up the burrs, only to let them fall again as soon as they sting him. Crowley raises an eyebrow, amused.

“Looks like the most powerful being in existence needs help with picking up some fruit from the ground.”

“... he's three years old.”

“They grow so fast, don't they?”

You turn your back to Crowley and walk to Jack. Juliet and Banquo run around, sniffing the leaves and acting mostly like normal dogs. You notice that, and turn to Crowley, who's been casually waddling around, following you and Jack.

“Why are they like these?”

“What do you mean?”

“They act like normal dogs.”

“They like topside.”

“Don't they have souls to collect, today?”

“They always do.” Crowley replies with a casual scroll of his shoulders.

“Then why are they here?”

“There are other hounds, you know. These two were just the most affectionate to me. In short, useless to dear mother, and very useful for my personal security.”

Of course, you don't know why they're there. You're not a hunter, after all, not in the truest meaning of the word. You've been dragged in there when you ran into Bobby, years earlier, trying to nick a book from your shop. You gave him the book in exchange for some explanations, and it turned out your years of eccentric reading made you pretty useful.

Bobby then started to call you for lore-related things, and it was only a matter of time before the hunters started to use your shop as a sort of base. You started to store magical items, too, and even faced a few monsters on your own. Not exactly your cup of tea, but fun. Crowley knows about this all, obviously. Everyone knows about it. His dogs are there because you are there. The idea of a human dear both to the king of Hell and the future God might inspire some unpleasant thoughts in rogue demons and monsters, so he doesn't want to take any unnecessary risk.

You only see the hounds sprinting away, running after a very lucky squirrel. The little rodent manages to climb up the bark of the chestnut tree just in time, escaping the fangs of the hellish beasts for a split hair. Crowley giggles happily next to you, apparently delighted.

“The dislike for squirrels must run in the family.”

“Yeah... Jack, honey, wait, no.”

Jack has started to climb on the tree, trying to reach the lowest branches, that are still a good seven feet above the ground. He really is a three years old sometimes, but you keep forgetting that. When he falls back on you, you are painfully reminded that he is a three years old in a fully adult body.

Before Jack can do it, Crowley helps you up, smirking.

“Everything fine, love?”

“Yeah, peachy.”

He chuckles and takes a dried leaf off your hair, then gives you an amused smile.

“Looks like you're enjoying yourselves, at least.”

Jack enthusiastically answers for you, then dashes away to inspect a new patch of dried leaves and fallen burrs. When climbing up the trees is finally off the table, you three keep walking in the woods and picking up chestnuts here and there until the baskets are full. You look at your clock, starting to feel the cold seeping through your clothes.

“We still have a couple of hours of good light left. Let's go back to the car, we'll make a fire there.”

“... a fire? What for?”

“Well, we... you know what? It's a surprise. Come on, let's go back.”

Jack smiles in excitement, then slows down, looking at you and Crowley. You walk closer than you did earlier, and you don't even seem to notice how the back of your hands touch while you walk. He's seen Dean and Castiel subconsciously trying to get closer just like that. He might be young, but he's learnt quite a lot about love and longing, and he's quite sure that he has a fine example of both lying right in front of him. He also has an idea about how to make that happen, even if he will have to wait until you return to the bunker.

When the three of you make it back to the clearing where you parked the car, you start looking around for some logs and branches to set the fire. You have some water and a couple of old newspapers in the car, so safety and the ignition are accounted for. You're still scouring the clearing through the growing darkness when Crowley clears his throat. You turn to him, expecting him to mock you for not having figured it before.

“... what?”

“I assume you're looking for something to start the fire.”

“Well, duh.”

He scoffs, not taking seriously your remark, and raises his hand, “Perhaps I could be of assistance. You know... hellfire and all that.”

“Oh, I... I didn't think of it.”

“I figured that much”, he echoes the words you spat at him earlier in a much gentler tone. You almost feel bad for treating him harshly, but you just can't help it. There's something about him and the way he treats you that makes you feel... uneasy, for some reason.

Crowley knows you well, by now, but he still hasn't found a way to unravel you completely. He was content when you sought him out in your sleep. You slipped through the sheets and held him, just like you did a few years ago, and you seemed pretty happy about it. You wanted to be close to him... and yet you seem very bothered by his presence, at times. Of course, this only makes him all the more curious to find out the key to decipher your weirdness. He doesn't like pending business, and you certainly are acting like one.

With a snap of his fingers, a bright fire starts burning a few yards away from the car, complete with a few logs to sit around it, and you look at it, fascinated like a child. Juliet and Banquo immediately recognize the nature of the flames, and go to quietly lie down next to them.

You start laughing and walk to the car, taking the castiron skillet and a couple of knives.

“What, no knife for me?”

You jump, surprised. He's definitely closer than where you left him, and you didn't hear him approach.

“Stop moving so quietly! I'll tie a bell around your neck.”

“Oooh, my own collar? Kinky. I might like that.”

You thank the darkness and the dancing lights cast by the open flames for hiding the redness creeping up your cheeks. You grab a third knife, flip it and offer the handle to Crowley.

“You know how to do it, right?”

“Love, I am a demon, not a moron.”

“Eh. Sometimes you can be both.”

He rolls his eyes, only mildly annoyed. “Care to make an example or do I have to take your insults at face value?”

You would like to answer, but your throat closes. The thought of that day in the Apocalypse world is etched in your mind, and you don't like to think about it. Luckily, you catch Jack getting close to the hounds with the clear intention of petting them, so you're spared from answering. You dash to him, worried.

“Jack, don't!”

Jack immediately takes a step back and looks at you, confused. “But they look so cute!”

“Yeah, but those are not fluffy animals. Those are killing machines, and...”

“And they're trained to behave around people who mean no harm to me. Go ahead, boy. They like scratches on their heads.” Crowley encourages Jack.

You survey carefully the scene, ready to spring into action, but Crowley was telling the truth. A minute later, Jack is sitting on the ground, scratching Juliet's head with a hand, and patting Banquo with the other, looking happier than ever.

“You think Dean will let us keep on in the bunker?”

You think about it for a second. There's not a strong enough word in any human language to express the way Dean would refuse the idea of a hellhound loose in the bunker. Hearing Crowley chuckle next to you, you're sure that he's thinking the exact same thing.

“I... I don't think so, Jack.” Jack nods, trusting your judgement, and looks at you.

“Right. So... what do I do with the knife?”

You sit down on the log next to his one and teach him how to lightly carve the smooth shell of the fruit with a X, so that it doesn't swell and bash while it cooks. When you prepare enough for the three of you, you pour them in the pan and set it on the fire, shaking it from time to time to ensure an even cooking.

Jack notices that your movements are steady, and studies you for a moment. “So... is it a Christmas tradition?”

“It’s more of a winter thing, not just Christmas,” you answer, “I used to go picking chestnuts with my grandfather, from November through December. Then we would cook them on this big open fire in the backyard of his country house. Not a fancy one, though. He was a farmer, so it was one of those old houses full of tools and handmade stuff. I really liked that place.”

“I bet it was amazing.”

You think about it for a moment. “You know what? It really was. And they kept loads of animals, too. He and my grandma would do everything at home, from scratch.”

You start telling Jack things you've never told anyone since you moved and started your new life. Meanwhile, you keep your eyes on the chestnuts, taking them out of fire when they're done.

You pick some pages from the old newspapers and roll three cones, then pour the hot roasted fruit in them. You offer one to Jack, and one to Crowley, who looks surprised.

“... for me?”

“Yes. I know you don't eat, but...”

He takes the cone from your hands, smiling.

“I still like the taste. Thanks, love. Very thoughtful of you.”

“Shut up”, you mutter, but you're smiling.

Jack encourages you to tell more stories about your family, and you hear the crunching noises coming from him slowing down progressively. When you look at him again, on the other side of the flames, you see him dozing off, still nestled between Juliet and Banquo.

You smile and throw your paper cone filled with discarded skins in the fire, watching it crackle, then reach out, trying to warm your hands. The air is cold, and it's totally dark around you, despite being only four p.m. You think about what you just told Jack, and a sting of nostalgia catches you by surprise.

You quickly blink a couple of times, hoping to chase those unexpected tears away, but you feel a hand on your shoulder.

“Are you alright, kitten?”

You almost forgot about Crowley. Surprisingly, he didn’t say anything while you were telling your stories to Jack, but you don’t suspect he listened to every word you said. “I... yes. Just... I haven't thought about those things for a very long time. I... I'm just being stupid.”

“Oh, love. Don't. Actually, you made me remember a few things about my winters as a human.”

“... really?” You think you couldn't be more surprised, but you're wrong. Your amazement hits its peak when Crowley starts telling you about old Scottish traditions, and his experiences with them.

After a few minutes of chatting, you shiver, and inch closer to him. He doesn't move away, instead he wraps an arm around your shoulders.

“I suspect you like me just as a heather, love” he purrs right beside your ear.

“Who says I like you?”

You both laugh and stay quiet, enjoying the cold air, the warmth of the fire and the smell of smoke and roasted chestnuts filling the air for a while. You close your eyes for a moment, laying your head back on his shoulder. His cologne and the hint of sulphur hidden behind it always made you feel safe, and now that things are so different from what they were, you aren't even plagued by the question anymore. The ever-present question of what was going to come next, what was going to happen... how you’d lose him.

You sigh and open your eyes, looking at Jack, then move away from Crowley.

“You know... we should go back. It's dark, and I'm sure they're wondering where we are.”

“... I'll bring back the puppies and see you there, if it's fine with you.”

“It... it is. More than fine, actually.”

He brushes your hand, and you feel his warmth through your glove, then look at him while he speaks.

“Thanks for sharing those memories, love. I know they were for the kid, but... it was nice to hear them.”

“Actually… I'm glad you were here.”

For a moment, both of you stay still. You feel your heart beating faster when you look at him. The way the fire underlines his features, the sheer intensity of his gaze force you to shiver, despite being comfortable and warm. Crowley looks at you and can’t hold back a smile. It might be the moment he was waiting for.

Instead, suddenly panicking, you stand up quickly, feeling your usual shield going up again. You can't be too vulnerable around him, after all. And Jack… you must bring him back. You didn’t come all that way just to get all lovey-dovey with the former king of Hell. “Well, I'll see you back at the bunker.”

“Right. See you there.” Crowley mutters through his teeth and notices the sudden shift in your behaviour. He wonders if his efforts still make sense. Then, he watches you waking up Jack and talking softly to him, petting the hounds and making sure everything is fine, and he knows he just has to be a bit more patient.

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Thank you for reading!

I truly hope you enjoyed this little story. Every kind of feedback is very much appreciated, just as much as likes and reblogs!

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#spn #spnchristmasbingo #spnfic #chestnuts #sitting by the fire #christmas fluff #crowley x reader #crowley x fem reader #jack is a baby #hellhounds #ooc #canon divergent #writers on tumblr

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