#and everything sucks so much right now

[mamawasatesttube]

just thinking out loud here but i feel like a lot of popular perception of kon esp in online fandom spaces is colored by his joie de vivre and all the times he's silly and goofy. which i do of course adore!! i love when he's silly and goofy. but comparing that perception to, that of like, clark or kara, i feel like kon gets shunted into the box of "dumb comic relief character" a lot more easily. lots of factors probably contribute to that (sb94 having a bad rep, while no other kon comic really goes into a lot of his tragedy; conflation with the side of the fandom that doesn't read comics; the fact that comparatively postcrisis kara doesn't have a team the way kon has yj and clark is seen as a more capable adult, so other characters in the jl get the "dumb comic relief" short end of the stick more often; etc) ...

... but what really gets me about him is that he does embody a lot of the same traits as the rest of the kryptonian superfam. he's so extremely kind. he's got that same noble heart as the rest of them; he cares about everyone and he wants to protect everyone. and he's so, so lonely. he struggles between cultures and worlds where he feels like he doesn't belong to either. he is so strong and capable and holds so much power that it scares him.

cradles him gently in my hands. he contains multitudes... come closer don't you want to love him 🥺

#rimi talks #i'm mostly drawing parallels here between kon clark and kara: #the almost divine loneliness. the struggle to fit in. the kindness and deep deep love and desire to help others. #ofc that isn't getting into Every member of the superfam like linda or kenan or anyone else bc that would be a MUCH bigger post #but i'm mostly picking these 3 bc. well i'm a postcrisis girlie first of all. and also theyre the 3 i think fandom acknowledges most? #at least in my perception of it! (now whether fandom acknowledges them in accurate ways. well no bc nobody knows kara past the basics. but. #(that's a whole other post. this one's about how kon DOES in fact also share the loneliness and noble heart and everything with them. augh) #kon #i was really tempted to go pull panels from rots/sb94/etc to illustrate each point (loneliness nobility kindness etc) but #im SUPPOSED to be writing fic right now. theres a dick on that page that aint gonna suck itself #so back to the writing mines with me. but i was just thinking about kon. (i know. shocking) #also i had to go hunting for the 🥺 emoji bc my recents are entirely filled with fish lately. fjhdskjfh #anywhoozies. mines. farewell

[fedoraspooky]

I haven’t been here long. What irritating changes have been made?

Credit where it's due, some changes have been good, like polls and stuff! But the big recent changes thus far that I would classify as irritating are:

- The UI change. This one may be less irritating for newcomers because it's basically the same layout as twitter and instagram, but for a lot of folks who've been here a long time, it feels cramped and like a loss of identity for the site. For many, the appeal of tumblr is that it ISN'T an algorithm hell like twitter or insta. Also, there's the annoyance of having to relearn where everything is, because it all got moved around.

- The users being lab rats for various tests the devs wanna pull out of nowhere without consenting to beta testing new site features- like the one that took away user icons on the dash for like half the site. They finally put them back after getting enough feedback that said NO, but users were so used to their feedback being disregarded that they were half expecting the change to be pushed through anyway.

- The Netflix tie-in advertising being pushed even to people who had PAID tumblr for a no-ads experience. Complete with them somehow thinking it would be a good idea to put an unescapable-by-scrolling spooky clown on peoples' dashboards that u had to use ublock to get rid of. While I'm not scared of clowns and often find them quite charming, it sucks that staff didn't take coulrophobia being a common fear into account.

- A wave of fully sfw trans posts being wrongfully marked Mature and staff doing little to nothing about it. Not sure if this is still ongoing, but it destroyed a lot of trust and good will. (LGBT+ users have been having to fight a constant war against censorship ever since the adult content ban on tumblr, so yeah... Nevar 4get the list of banned search words that would bring back no results, like 'girl')

- The site gradually moving away from customization. Tumblr is a BLOGGING site. But it seems to have lost sight of that fact, because most new users don't even know you can fully customize your blogs with css and stuff (an option that is now off by default for new accounts!), because of the in-dash viewer giving you only how blogs look on mobile, which is a lot more uniform. There, it's more like every other site- you get a banner and icon. Oh, but you can change colors and fonts from a drop-down list too, that's cool I guess. Though they recently took away custom color schemes on Message windows, just another little bit of personalization taken away.

- TUMBLR. LIVE. Basically tumblr teamed up with a skeevy dating app partner to allow for livestreams- but not the cool kinda livestreams like on twitch where you can draw or play games, no- to a site full of people who value anonymity, they decided to push phone cam only livestreams. Not only that but by agreeing to the terms, you're giving out tons of personal data including your location to said skeevy dating app partner and all of THEIR third-party ad partners. Needless to say, most people didn't wanna use it, so instead of users it's flooded by p*rn bots (which is ANOTHER issue we've been dealing with for a long time and have been getting an even bigger influx of FROM tumblr live) and scammers. And thus, since tumblr likes to put a carousel of current streams on people's dashes, you often get softcore p*rn thumbnails from the bot streams with no way to avoid it except for toggling off tumblr live entirely.

- Oh wait. That's right. You CAN'T toggle it off. Because you can only snooze it for a while until BAM, you're jumpscared by a carousel of ladies licking your screen again! But hey, at least they made the snooze 30 days instead of the 7 it used to be, right? Yeah, except for the fact that you can't get rid of the tumblr live button itself on the app anymore, and now it's front and center with a NEW notification tag on it, overlapping your dash and cramming useful stuff like the search button out of the way.

NOW- A lot of this stuff CAN be at least mostly fixed on desktop by installing ublock and xkit and tampermonkey + dashboard unfucker... But that's a lot of stuff just to make the site usable, you know?

#this isn't even a comprehensive list but hopefully that covers all the big ones #anyway i get tumblr has to make money and it's currently not doing that #but burning through the remaining good will of the people who stuck around through earlier bs doesn't seem like a great idea either #ah well... i'm still here regardless #i've already had to leave deviantart behind because it became an ai cesspit... and it sucked. I had a lot of good memories there. #it sucks to uproot everything and move. so unless something equally bad happens here i'll probs be going down with the ship lol #also there's like nowhere else to go right now which is a huge problem; #i've been trying to look for other places to post too but none really have the same laid-back feeling tumblr does. #also i love the asks system too much. more sites need that honestly #anyway i rambled enough hope this helps u get an idea of why people are angy #asks

[finexbright]

.

#as i said i'm only now catching up on what happened at red rocks and honestly i'm just so confused as to #why people are getting hate mail for being at a show???? like unless you were right there at the show you will NOT know what's going on #you can't just ''leave'' a venue because there's security measures ensuring that people don't run and cause a stampede #i get that the team there sucked and should've been much better equipped for an outdoor venue but why the fuck are we blaming the fans???? #and then being mad at louis??? yeah i get that his tweet wasn't the best but i'd imagine that he was trying to help out as much as he could #ensuring fans were safe and taken care of. pretty sure he is the one paying all hospital bills and stuff as well #yeah i know he's an artist and he has people doing things for him but also it's louis. he might not have been at ground zero #but i bet he was doing everything he could to help get fans to safety and he had to tweet something amidst all that #just to reassure fans a bit more and he did what he could #besides. i'm sorry but instead of being all ''louis/his team should've done more'' can we all just make sure that the fans #who were actually in that hail storm and who actually got horribly injured and who actually went through such a scary situation #are feeling okay? like why are we arguing about trivial things when what matters the most out of this situation is the fans and their safety #i honestly need people who were not at the venue and people who do not understand how traumatic things can be #to just shut up and log off #anyways to everyone present at red rocks i'm sending you so much love and i'm so sorry something so traumatic happened #i hope everyone is safe and is being treated for their injuries 💌

[magicicephoenix]

i need to go pound joey drew into a pulp RIGHT NOW

#diction dump #joey drew #batim #HIS SPEECH AT TBE END OF BATDR MAKES ME JDLABRLELWL #SCREAMINF AT TVE SCREEN #JUST SHUT!! UPP!!! #okay i’m normal now. i hate him so much #he praises audrey about being his first creation of life when the ink demon is literally RIGHT THERE. #like. do you want to be good or not?? of course bendy kills you! you’re being an asshole! you suck!! #oh my godd i need to fling him around a room ragdoll style. crush him into smithereens. rrrgrghh #he comes across so disingenuous.. like. i don’t care if audrey’s your precious shining moonlight. she’s also The One Who Came Out Right. #meanwhile The One Who Came Out Wrong is SEETHING with hatred for you! do you not see the consequences of your words?! #“i know you’re in there” like the ink demon isn’t sentient?? like audrey’s just stuck someWHERE not with someONE? #and bendy’s so so angry. of course he is! his creator (well. a copy of him) is saying TO HIS FACE that he’s just a monster. a mistake. #that he’s NOTHING. and most infuriatingly that this stupid OTHER who had the privilege of coming out right is EVERYTHING! #why does she get that? why did she get so lucky? where was all this compassion when it was him? why did he never feel this love? #and so he lashes out. obviously. all he’s ever been is a monster because all he’s ever been TAUGHT is how to be a monster #and who taught him that? who forced him into that? that’s right. the biggest monster around. #so i’m sorry if i don’t find your little speech to be heartfelt joey. you’re a long way away from saying anything truly GOOD. #phew. okay. needed to get that off my chest.

[moe-broey]

HEARTBREAKING

Worst Dad You Know Has an Extremely Endearing (Now) Reoccurring Character Trait

For further context: this whole FB involved Sharena and Henriette seeking out lockpickers in the Order of Heroes to open this VERY SECURELY locked box from Gustav's room that took Tina's special staff to finally crack open (or rather -- "steal" the contents out of. No one could actually break the lock!)

And the first instance of this!

It makes me wonder if he saved anything related to Sharena..........

#fire emblem #feh #man. henriette's sad portrait w 'yes. he must have' carries so much bittersweet grief. augh #when it comes to sharena idk if i would be more angry if he did save something or if he didn't. i'm almost leaning towards the first though #like. idk if i can even word it but it fucking sucks when you have family that 'loves' you and they do actually genuinely love you #but they just. do it wrong. and fail you severely in the process. you think to yourself it would have been easier actually #if they had simply never loved you at all. or if they were upfront and told you they don't love you anymore. #at least then you can be as vindictive as you want and hold a grudge forever and be completely justified #but extremely begrudgingly this DOES make gustav a compelling character. in so many ways #you can see where it all went wrong. you can see henriette sees something in him that no one else can. and she's not crazy for it #she was probably there. she probably saw it all happen. she knows him w a level of intimacy no one else does. #and now you see these little humanizing traits. he loved his son. he loved his partner and wife. #juries still out on his daughter. #but you get what i'm saying right? it's terribly tragic. it's painful. #man. #i'm still gustav's number one hater though. just so we're clear. #AUGH IT'S JUST. THE PLAYFULNESS OF IT. IS ACTUALLY SO PAINFUL. LOOKING AT EVERYTHING WE KNOW #they had a rock competition........ to find the roundest rock.......... and she won....... and he saved the rock she found...... #THAT'S. AAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH #you cannot fucking IMAGINE gustav doing that. and yet. in another time. he did. and that's who henriette fell in love with #and that's who herniette still sees. and she's not fucking wrong for it. not entirely. he still has that fucking rock. #dude i'm gonna be sick. #fe gustav #fe henriette #sharena #fe tina #fe alfonse #he's. mentioned. might as well tag him LMFAO

[todayisafridaynight]

seeing info only about the kiryu and majima statuettes but absolute radio silence on the ichi one is utterly sending me. Theyre hiding the fact theyre gonna make ichi pale as a cracker again

#snap chats #theyre in the lab making a skin tone with melanin in it for once im SCREAMING #JUST LET ME SEE MY BOY PAINTED LET ME SEE HOW BAD THE DAMAGE IS #whether i spend $150 is entirely dependent on if ichi is pale or not and im so serious its why i didnt get his plushie #anyways i got hate crimed today i was getting lunch with my dumbass friend WHICH. I DONT EVEN KNOW WHY I DO #CAUSE WE JUST SIT IN DEAD SILENCE AND SHES TERRIBLE AT CONVERSATION RIGHT anyway. #we were getting lunch and her prof ask her like ‘oh are you on a date <3’ like prof i would rather kms !!!! then go on a date with this gir #literally my biggest fear i hope people dont think we’re dating id actually drop out #‘snap you make her sound awful’ because she is and i dont feel bad about bullying her anymore NO LISTEN #WE WERE PLAYING Y7 LAST NIGHT AND SHE BUTT DIALS HER FRIEND. LIKE A DUMBASS. #AND DEADASS ME AND HER FRIEND JUST TALK ON HER PHONE ABOUT HOW MUCH SHE SUCKS.. WHILE SHES SITTING RIGHT THERE. #i felt so validated cause everything he was complaining about id complain about like oohhhh my god i should meet him #hes the guy that called me that invincible character. and mystery man. i think i talked about this already wait— #ITS STILL FUNNY TO ME IDC ive never felt so seen in my life. why an i friends with this girl idk we’ll figure out one day #right now i want. ichi statue to be real and tanned #ok bye i have class soon

[neolxzr]

Literally a genuine question no ill intent

What do you like about Aira? As much as people are absolutely adamant Akira is projecting (I really don't think he is (I'm not saying Akira is innocent) I just think he's trying to address the prejudiced thoughts the average Japanese person will have on the Ainu) Aira's weird comments and behaviour to Hiiro have been there since day one. And I also think Aira being the one who says all this is because he's supposed to reflect the fans and the average Japanese fan probably isn't that educated on the Ainu + there can be a good few racist enstars fans...

I'm not trying to sound heated about this I'm just coming from a genuine place, what appeal is there in Aira?

Also, as much as the Aira fans are talking about blaming Akira, I feel like there should absolutely be a focus on Hiiro right now considering that comment was... yknow said to him. I just think we should actually be talking about the Amagis considering that comment was intended to discuss the Amagis and their culture and the discrimination they go through.

i had someone ask me a similar question once but not in the context of all thats happening currently so you can read that here if youre inclined

buuuut what made me like aira so much in the first place was honestly that his concept as a character is really funny. i made a post a long while back that went into the funny meta jokes that you could make using aira as a character before i really knew much about enstars at all. having a character in your idol series that loves idols and canonically reads fanfic about them is just a funny concept in general. and as i continued to read more he continued to be funny and annoying and endearing (his little mini interaction with midori comes to mind immediately. there is something wrong with him)

also i tend to gravitate towards characters that give me like. little sibling energy. i love having a favorite little guy to dote on

but afterwards what really drew me to him was the main story!! thermometry specifically comes to mind (ouuugh,,,,). his feature scout stories are also great and so is feather touch! i wont like. go into detail really cause my blog is covered in me talking about aira already

his dynamic with hiiro is one of my favorites too, especially in mainstory. their dynamic isnt JUST aira says shitty things to hiiro and thats it. their relationship develops really far to the point where aira admits that he needs hiiro as much as hiiro needs him. they're young and inexperienced and kind of codependent as they're trying to keep themselves from going under in a sort of cutthroat industry. i think thats really neat. their relationship is really sweet to me and aira is a great tsundere type of character. he regularly is shown to actually like hiiro a lot as mean as he can be to him sometimes i.e. here. and you know the whole holding hands thing (which they also fucked up in the climax story but Whatever)

theres also this. which i think about regularly. the hiiai shipping fuel is vast

and additionally i think aira has some really great relationships with other characters too, alkaloid especially. feather touch develops his relationship with tatsumi a lot and its one of my favorite aira moments. i couldnt find my screenshots for this one but basically aira gives tatsumi his unlocked phone (something VERY important to aira since hes a little screenager) and it shows tatsumi just how much aira trusts him and he realizes how important aira is as a friend to him. being someone with a history like him aira's friendship is sort of new to him and it helps them both grow

he loves his friends so so much and he’s had a positive impact on all of alkaloid. he is its heart after all

but in any case i'm not going to like, defend myself for liking aira. i am aware that the shitty stuff has been there from the start but i've said something similar in the past that was like. aira isn't real and he cannot take accountability for what he says. he's a character written by real people who doesn't have any control over how he acts. so i guess that's why when i think the writers write something i dont think he would do or say in my own personal aira opinion i can sort of brush it off as just bad writing.

and not in the sense that i dont recognize that enstars sucks, because it does. enstars can be terribly racist sometimes and not just when concerning aira, and thats important to talk about (i.e. the orient cards, the king of thieves cards, etc). but at the end of the day the most important thing to recognize is the people and company behind the game as well as the real people who play the game and are affected by it. and not like, the specific characters in the game. cause they didn't actually do anything or feel anything you know

#cryn answers #anon #enstars #media analysis #im a miraculous ladybug fan im used to pretending that the thing i like is better than it actually is lmfao #was including sources for what im saying too much?? #anyway i didnt even touch on airas own experiences with racial discrimination #i dont think its written perfectly so thats why i didnt talk about it but its an important aspect of his character too #and an important part in his place in alkaloid #also i hope i dont come off as rude or upset in this anon #i appreciate you being respectful #but also im a little tired of talking about this ill admit it #i enjoyed rambling about aira again im just like :( that its cause of all the discourse and whatever happening right now #blegh #i think its kind of like. i mean if you only hear little tidbits of what a character is like through twitter screenshots #youre not gonna have a full picture #and i think thats how it is for a lot of enstarries with aira #and thats not a jab at anyone i dont know jackshit about like. mama or undead or fine or akatsuki. and thats fine #theres too many characters for me to know everything about everyone #but with aira specifically his only character trait to the people who dont produce alkaloid is 'the racist one' #and that sucks #but anyways. thats all i have in me for now

[detransraichu]

broooo not my ex making posts abt how hard it is to come to terms with being conventionally attractive while having low self-esteem issues and how wild it is to get compliments randomly on their appearance when they go out and how they're worried that their new transmasc boytoy is only into them bc they're hot -_- i'm tired... meanwhile i'm just seen as a gremlin now that i'm not hyperfem... they truly have the biggest issues in the world lol

also they were like "omg turns out i'm not ace i just needed a bf lol" and i'm like yeah. i know. you've been lusting after male characters for years. you were horny as fuck just not for me bc i didn't transition. you only made moves on me when you were bored, lonely or drunk. i always asked if that was the case and you were like no baby it's just your insecurities i don't need you to transition uwu. for 5 years. my trust issues are thru the roof now yayyyyy /dies

#lay text #i'm being mean and petty ugh #my heart kinda hurts but talking w my counsellor abt it helped #it rly helps to have a neutral third party to vent to #also i still think my ex is a good person i don't actually hate them i love them as a friend. but i do hate what they did to me #i hate that they went along w us dating bc they're too much of a doormat. i hate that they thought abt breaking up w me for years #but never told me bc they were worried i wouldn't survive without them financially or emotionally #feels so fucking infantilizing #now i'm so much better off without them despite being broke #that was my first and only real relationship my first time my first everything. i'm so embarrassed wtf i was RIGHT i was right all along #i was right it wasn't just insecurities they straight up never wanted me they wanted future transitioned male-passing me #it was all lies!!! from the get-go!!! meanwhile i did so much romantic bullshit and i was wearing rose colored glasses!!!! #and i was a big dyke. being with a woman who identified as a woman would've made me 2000x happier anyway. we could've just stayed roommates #i'm so bitter guys. i feel so jaded but i'm trying not to be :/ #and now they have so much luck in their love life #and i'm just a lonely gremlin dyke who only attracts polyam/casual girls who only want me on the side #where tf is my love story :'( i've been trying SOOO FUCKING HARD to gain my ex's affection for 5 freaking years i was the most loveydovey g #i deserve a love story i think i've really earned it by now!!!!! #so much love to give #now they have it so easy wtf. feels unfair ngl. i'm happy for them obviously they deserve happiness too. but i am still bitter >:/ #trying to process these feels instead of repressing them for once. i have a tendency to bottle up angst bc i think i'm bad for being mad #but nope those r healthy emotions!!! i can work thru this #it just sucks #if you read all of this bs i give you a cookie 🍪 <3

[silenthillbunni]

i just hate hate hate society so much!!! i have no idea how im supposed to find a way to live and participate in it. i cant stand a single thing abt it. i hate everyone and everything. and the thing lazy ppl dont wanna admit is that WE are society. we create society, we allow the state to do what it does. we choose this. how am i supposed to "love my neighbor" when they are prtially responsible for what this society is???? there is nothing good abt this. it is a cruel and vicious system built on abusing and taking advantage of the vulnerable and the poor. there are no real rules; rules only apply to the ones at the bottom of the hiearchy while the rich and the powerful get away with anything. nothing is fair or just. rules and laws are only there to keep the poor and vulnerable ones down. if you have nothing you will most likely spend your entire life like that, because there is no playing far in this society. nothing is easy. even if it's hard and you fight for it you'll probably not end up going anywhere. the entire thing is rigged. and everyone chooses to just go with it. we have chosen this. and it sucks and i hate everyone and everything because life is so fucking unnecessarily hard and unfair and if you're born with nothing you'll never have anything. even if you try to play by the rules they've set. the rules are against you. and if you break the rules you're immediately punished. life is nothing but an unjust imprisonment.

#and my rage just gets worse each day #bc ofc swedish ppl have chosen a rightist government which is awful and terrible and they make everything worse day by day #i hateeeeee hate hate hate society and the ppl in it so much #they have CHOSEN this they WANT this #otherwise all they would need to do is vote left. so simple. so easy #yet this is what they wanted. an unfair hellworld where the rich get richer and everyday life gets insufferable for everyone else #im so dejected bc it is like IMPOSSIBLE to move #like my mom nd sister have been looking for apartments nd my mom sent an application for one #and they just removed it bc now its apparently illegal to apply for appartments w a family member. it HAS to be a romantical partner. WTF?! #i hate everything abt society #and i hate everyone i see outside bc they VOTED for the right which are the ones responsible for all this #everyone out there CHOSE this #how tf am i supposed to love or care abt them when they are the reason life fkn sucks??????

[usareiis]

Twitter getting obsessed with conspiracy theories about where redacted is makes me feel so fucking terrible when there is so much worse going on that people are literally begging you to pay attention to but instead you want to focus on scenarios you made up in your head and play true crime detective

#i saw five hundred women tweeting things like i am going to sound soo crazy at work talking about this 🤣🤣 #you need to get the fuck off of twitter number one #ik i sound like i am on twitter too much but i genuinely have just been clicking on what's trending these past few days i have been sick #and its like yes the royal family sucks for five thousand reasons but there are actual atrocities happening right in front of our eyes #that are not a fucking mystery and you guys would rather think of literally anything else #based off of nothing. like i have been a billion tweets the past few days confidently listing off scenarios they know have happened to her #like yay you're so true crime you figured it out and its not even like these people care about women's well being either bc i saw all... #...kinds of nasty shit said about her when she said she was sick in the first place and all kinds of bad comments about how sick pregnancy. #...makes her feel so obviously on the most basic level you don't care about women to act like you now have a narrative from a true crime... #...podcast to project to someone. like you guys will get so distracted by anything #don't get me started on the oscars #everything feels so fucking bleak lately i also don't know how stuff like the election doesn't make everyone feel like they're losing it #like yeah the guy in the movie that's supposed to be about being a girl sang a little song does no one realize how all they're talking... #...about is the guy yet #wait no they're more worried about a bad photoshop than the massive amount of pictures of dead people my bad

[givemeallyourpenny]

In their paired ending Constance and Jeritza settled down in Nuvelle and we’d in their rosegarden

In their paired ending Petra and Hubert settle down in Nuvelle, do you think they also wed in the rose garden?

I like to think that all of the black eagles wed in the rose garden, in fact they all had their weddings at the same time!

#fe3h #constance von nuvelle #jeritza von hrym #petra macneary #hubert von vestra #black eagles #other pairings I got #yuri and balthus: is it gay to be feared years after your deaths with the homies #Felix and Leonie: they were also the band at this giant wedding #Dorothea and Sylvain: I’m having trouble thinking of something funny to say about them give me a second #i just think they're neat #Ferdinand and Manuela: she’s everything he’s just ferdi #Linhardt and Bernadetta: they’re those college professors that always respond right away when you email them at odd hours #Constance and Jerry: that’s a very sharp rose careful it could puncture #Caspar and Ashe: my sons are fairy tale heroes good for them so proud #one was my mvp and the other was my dancer #Hubert and Petra: puncture the hull of an empire class battle cruiser because it’s so sharp #Edelgard and Lysithea: and they lived happily ever after and I’m probably going to sob about it later I’m so happy #Byleth and Mercedes: their wedding speech was all about how much her dad sucks #and now there’s only one gay ending I need to see

[chrisbangs]

hello... (and bye ig 👋)

#👋😭 hi... #i haven't come on in about a month and i didn't realize a month passed by like that... i've kinda stopped using any apps on my phone #i barely even talk to my friends anymore lol 😭 #i just saw my follower count this morning and realized i hit 13k and i was like 🥸 huh... #uhhhhhhh 😭 idk i wanted to say thank you i guess 🫂 #i'm done with stayblr and tumblr in general 😭 this much has been obvious for a while now... i tried to fit myself back in during 5star but #i think i realized i've outgrown the vibes here and in online spaces in general... i don't really enjoy it anymore 😭 which is weird cause #i've used tumblr since i was in middle school so 🫡 end of an era some would say... #i think it sucks because i don't have the same feelings about this place or skz or anything in my life right now... i tried to ignore it bu #it's so obvious now that the entirety of december passed without me really talking to a single person / without me using social media / #without me really doing much except for like homework and assignments lmao #i think genuinely i've stopped enjoying everything i used to like and i don't know why 😭 it hit me the other day bc i don't even enjoy #pc collecting anymore which is CRAZY considering how much time and money i've put into that hobby so 👋🥸 who knows what goes on #i haven't consumed any skz content since rockstar dropped 😭 and that also feels weird to me... idk... i would say maybe i'm going through a #depressive episode but i don't really feel how i do then... i think i'm just tired like i always am and that's just how i am now .. i think #i'm just not really interested in things anymore? weird but .. yeah idk😭 if i knew what was wrong i would Fix It sndjdndkd mostly i'm just #sad because i haven't been talking to friends... i keep ignoring everyone and not replying to any texts from anyone because ???? #i tell myself i will do it later but i know i won't ... idk i genuinely don't know why i'm struggling to talk to ppl anymore 😭 i've become #even more of a reclusive hermit than i already was 💀 and the worst part is i feel normal abt it #i don't feel /bad/ i just feel guilty that i'm not replying to ppl bc i don't want to hurt ppls feelings... on my end i feel Normal abt it #like i ??? is it weird that i'm so detached from everything that not even a month ago made me so happy..? that's weird right 😭 like idgi #i don't feel (as) depressed (as i usually do) but clearly ?? smth is wrong ?? like ik i'm not a clingy sentimental person but ? it kinda #makes me sad wondering if i really don't care abt ppl anymore ... but i think 😭 it's also the object permanence issues that come with adhd #not seeing or talking to the ppl i love . not doing my hobbies or seeing the groups i care abt . makes it easy to not care or forget what #they make me feel etc etc ... i get it... but idk 😭 if that's what this is . well wow it sucks ASS.. cause i feel guilty for not feeling #anything at all ... 😭 idk how to explain that HENSKDNISJS anywayyyy 💀 #i came on cause i wanted to say thank you for 13k followers 😭‼️ and that i probably will not be online anymore unless i really want to say #this was a really long winded way to say i feel bad but i'm done with stayblr fr 👋🥸 i tried so hard for the last 2 years to make it feel #like home again but it stopped ages ago so 🥹 that's ok.. i still cherish my memories here 🫂 anyway thanku and sjsjsksksks bye i guess 😭 #who knows maybe i'll enjoy it one day again and come back :') never know what the future holds 🫡

[sga-owns-my-soul]

ha

#ignore this #i just have so much fucking anxiety #and my depression is hitting me like a feckin train #which is great bc it hasn't be bothering me for a while #but of course it's showing up bc my life is going to shit rn #so it's FINE #i have no energy #for anything #and i keep randomly crying #and i'm just #lmao i'm not okay #and the person i usually talk to about this stuff is #not really in my life anymore #so #idk i'm crying into the void i guess #everything kinda really sucks right now and i know it'll be better eventually #it can't rain forever or whatever #but god it really fucking sucks right now #and i really wish i didn't have to deal with this #i'm so tired #i'm so fucking tired god #anyways ignore this i'm just #complaining #i guess #personal rambles #not stargate

[nexus-nebulae]

odd thing we've noticed. the less okay we are the smaller our active system gets

#like logically you'd think we'd get more members while stressed but we don't usually #we actually split way more often when we're feeling okay and alive #i think it has something to do with mental bandwidth #like when mental health bad we don't have enough mental energy to put towards the system #so we just. reduce a lot in size. to make the workload easier #like a few months ago we had about 100+ people active at once all rotating out frequently and cofronting a TON #and now we're down to like. three or four active the rest really only able to be active for a few minutes at a time #we're just too exhausted to deal with the chaos of so many people so it kinda. slows down a ton #it's hard to get used to when everything was So Loud before. its kinda scary sometimes #like damn. i cant just call Incredibly Specific Task Guy to deal with this task i really cannot do right now. that kinda sucks #but knowing that this is like. more bc of the fact that we Can't Deal With Much More Than This makes it a little easier #we're a bit like my current computer. shit ass RAM bc its got like 50 malware (illnesses) on it #and once i get a new computer (get a little better and more functional) i can get back to multitasking #side note my god my RAM on this computer is shit running tumblr and minecraft at the same time totally breaks it #like it makes the Entire Computer run at 10 fps it's Great #i'm getting a new one at the end of this month hopefully #and hopefully Actually Nice Thing Accomplished will also help brain a lot #also not having to stress about how annoying to use our computer is should help lmao

[guardians-of-exo]

All I’m going to say about the situation right now is:

1) I support the members of EXO in whatever they do from now on. Though I am heartbroken and uncertain of the future of the group right now, all I want is for them to be happy and treated well. If this is what it takes, they have to do what they have to do.

2) FUCK SM and everything they stand for. The fact that EXO has continued to be so successful despite SM doing literally nothing is all because of the boys and their incredible love for their EXO brothers and their fans. I trust nothing coming from SM at this moment.

3) For my own mental health, I’ll probably try to stay out of this mess from now on - at least until we now more about what will happen from here. I have enough shit in my personal life and I cannot carry this around with me too without breaking, because this group literally means the world to me, and I cannot deal with the thought of it breaking apart right now.

#EXO #everything sucks #I’m so tired #we really can’t have anything nice as an EXO-L can we? #i want to cry just thinking about how the boys are feeling right now… #and how much they have been going through we never knew #I’m gonna go otherwise i will actually start crying

[arolesbianism]

Thinks oh so hard abt the spiraling upwards clan founders, especially the birchclan founders. Silly lil kitties who's pasts are drenched in blood with the primary regret of not drawing it sooner

#rat rambles #oc posting #warriors posting #spiraling upwards #long story short they had a shitty awful terrible leader who sucked absolutely ass and they tore him to shreds #I mean that literally they pinned him onto the mountain side and slashed and mauled the shit out of him so hard that his lives evaporated #and several of the cats involved in that scene are sill alive and major parts of the story and I love them #oh also the cat that pinned him through a stab through the throat was his own daughter btw everyone hated his ass so much #and for good reason get his ass #alas in the main story I dont rly get to go too deep into how he harmed everyone involved mostly just three main ones #aka bristlestar because shes murtlepaw's ghost mom dawncrackle because hes also haunting murtle and gullspot because shes bristle's kit #so basically all the flashbacks we get involve those three in some form or another #honeystar was also there and involved but Im not currently planning on having her rly talk abt that #most of her more modern angst is the fact that she was forced into leadership against her will #and shes been alive long enough that shes been leading birchclan far longer than she ever lived in her old clan #but she did go through a lot of shit before birchclan was founded and it definitely shaped her a lot #she used to be a very determined and high spirited lil kitty cat who tried to be optimistic #but her family began to slowly be picked off one by one by both the old leader and the one whod later get evicerated #some of the older cats around her hoped it make her back down from her revelutionary ideas but she noticed that and it backfired on them #instead of being worn down to submission she became absolutely Furious and began to lash out more and become more demanding #it got to the point that she really only had two friends in the entire clan and one of them was her aunt whod later also die after coming #out abt having witnessed the leader killing his own kits #that was the final fucking straw for her and she was fully on board when bristle and dawn started looking for cats to join their rebellion #she did get rly frustrated with them as they waited patiently for the right moment but her remaining bestie kept her from going apeshit #so once the big fight finally broke out she was more than eager to join the hoard of cats chasing the bastard upwards #now unlike some of the other cats involved this legitimately actually made her feel a lot better for a while #for the first time in ages she finally felt like she could be optimistic abt smth again and was excited abt the idea of leaving this place #she had lost so much in this damn place since she was an apprentice and just wanted to finally be able to rest easy #but once they got to their new territory and set up camp things went south real fast as a flood fucked everything up #and after losing the only cat she had left in her life and losing her tail and being made deputy on top of that she deteriorated quickly