#and fanfics are my probably unhealthy coping mechanism

[olderthannetfic]

Those bizarro tags about CNTW are not the first time on the Internet I’ve seen someone use “I use this as a form of therapy” to act entitled but it’s always strange to me when I see it. (I’ve also seen people do that with paradoxical fixations they have on some VTuber or podcaster if that person misses a week because they’re sick or something.) Y’all I get that if you’re in the US actual therapy is expensive, but you don’t get to decide that an interaction with another human is “therapy” without that other person’s consent and then whine when they don’t act like a therapist to you. I don’t write fanfiction to be therapeutic to other people. If you project that on to my work that’s a You problem and if it goes wrong for you then you’ve gotta find a You solution! It’s not my business! (That’s also putting aside the point that using fanfic as therapy is probably really bad for you lol, like it’s a job people train to do for a reason. Even the fics I’ve read that seem to be trying to do something like that get shit wrong about common mental illnesses/disorders all over the place or glorify unhealthy coping mechanisms and that’s… totally fine because it’s fiction but that’s why you should not use it as therapy!!! )

--

I think a lot of people mean... like... "I use media I like to self-sooth", which is fine... but that media wasn't created for that, so if it fails to work as well as hoped, it's not the media creator's problem.

[sequencefairy]

Writing Wrap-Up 2023

It is, once again, the end of the year! I wrote a lot!

First of all, I have officially published all my original stuff written for Space Fruit Press on Amazon Kindle under my penname, so if you enjoy my fic, I would love to encourage you to check out my original stuff, too, since all those dollars help me on the journey to doing that full time instead of having a full time job that really cuts into my fangirl time.

In addition to what is available on Amazon, there is another anthology of work coming from the press, and I will have a story in it! I need to write it, but it will exist. I'm very excited about this story, as well.

From a fanfic perspective, I have published only three things this year:

And I Was Never Afraid of the Dark (Oh, the Weapon You Made of My Heart) - shyan, wip, unfinished, 9.4k, demon!shane

Shane pulls Ryan out of Hell at 3:37 on a Tuesday afternoon. He’s not looking at his watch at the time, but he infers the time later after he’s finally managed to get up off the desert floor, and has hauled them both back to the car he’d parked in the lot at the trailhead a little over a week ago. Ryan’s a deadweight in Shane’s grip, head lolling back against Shane’s shoulder and body limp and unhelpful in Shane’s arms. His eyes are closed.

My Rivers Tilt Towards You - geraskier, fae!jaskier, 29k, strangers to friends to lovers, canon-divergent au

Geralt pushes the door open one-handed. As it creaks, announcing his presence, Jaskier looks up from the long table he’s sitting at. There’s a mug of something at the bard’s elbow and his songbook is open in front of him. “Geralt,” he says in greeting, and for a moment, Geralt is sure that the bard’s eyes shine in the dark, reflective like his own. He blinks, and the moment passes. Jaskier’s mouth curves into a smile. “Is it done, then?”

Coax the Cold Right Out of Me - shyan, complete, 4.1k, vampire!shane, established relationship

“Shane,” Ryan says, insistent, eyes gleaming in the dark. Shane lets his eyes fall shut, and sighs. The little red and white cooler they usually bring on shoots got left behind at the hotel, an hour and a half away in Jackson. “I’ll be fine,” he says, not looking at Ryan, and ignoring the ache in his gums. He’s gone longer without, he can make it through one shoot and then the drive back before being sated. “You don’t have to be.”

(more rambling under the cut)

So I spent too long making this, but whatever. Let's have fun with infographics, baby!

Anyway, interesting look at the last couple of years for me! I have clearly been in a quality over quantity place regarding wordcounts + things published over the last few years.

I have, over the past couple of years, been feeling like my writing has changed quite a lot, both in terms of what I am interested in writing, and also what I am interested in publishing both to AO3 and as original work.

I think there's also probably something in here about the fall out from the pandemic, as well as something about the fact that I've been medicated for the ADHD for a year now, and I've had to learn how to write in a way that is not an unhealthy coping mechanism and instead as something I do for fun, as a hobby that I enjoy.

What I have been producing lately, in 2023, is some of my favourite writing I've ever done, and I feel like I really levelled up this year in terms of tackling themes and ideas that the me of 2021 wouldn't have even imagined was possible.

With that said, the other fun comparison across years is this one:

Clearly, when you only publish three things in a year, it skews your stats, but I do also think that My Rivers was definitely a thing I needed to finish and write in order to become the person who is currently sitting on about 70k or so of active WIP for a different fandom altogether.

I adore, always, all the love that my shyan fic gets, this fandom is demonstrative in a way that no other fandom has ever been for me, and I've made the best kind of friends in this fandom. Even if I never publish another shyan fic ever (which I am certainly not saying is the case), I still treasure every single one of these fics which allowed me to meet people who've become extremely fucking important to me.

In addition to published fic, of course, the other thing to talk about is all that stuff I'm sitting on that hasn't been published (yet).

These are the seven most active of my WIPs. I am desiring to publish Moonlight on Broken Glass before the end of December, but since I'm the porn and instead of writing it, I keep going back to refine other parts of it, I have some doubts in my ability to get a draft done in the next few days.

All together, that's about 82k of wip, in various states of done that I'm working on. So, really, this year, I've written like, well over 100k, which is always my quiet goal going into any given year.

I don't have anything else to say about this, but I had fun making these little pictures and looking at all my wips. It was, all told, a good year for writing, even if it started off kinda slow.

#things jess says #am writing #writing wrap up #i just like to look at things over the course of a year

[i--antimony]

2023 year in review roundup

wow!! what a fucking year!!! goodbye and good riddance! happy first day of 2024!

this year i did 37 tuesdayposts! there were 53 tuesdays so that's about 70%! some of them were on fri/sat instead as shabbosposts but i think posting on tuesday or even monday does just work better for some fucking reason. maybe because friday and saturday are days that i am most likely to do New Activities for making/playing/watching/reading??? and so on monday or tuesday i can recap the just-finished weekend. shrug! we love tuesday so it's fine.

listening listened to all of twilight mirage and a little over half of partizan! shrieking shack podcast, just king things, well there's your problem, miscellaneous music (maneskin probably a notable winner in there)

reading a lot of little articles. a little tgcf. SO much fanfic. 'every heart a doorway' (bad). 'birthday of the world' le guin (good).

playing a little disco elysium. a little minecraft. a little nier automata. a little hadesgame. a LOT of pokemon go. and i got into magic the gathering this year!

watching a lot of youtube videos. so many gd youtube videos. evangelion, history of the world part ii, cunk on earth, vox machina animated series, cowboy bebop, first season of peaky blinders, the new tgcf donghua season!

making i did very little drawing/painting/illustration beyond life drawing a few times...however i was very prolific in crafting! i also theoretically made valentines gifts. i do not remember what they were tho lol.

fiber arts: i completed a big embroidery project (fermenting dregs album art hoodie), quantum shawl, mesh market bag, case for my knew laptop, finished that blue tank top even though i hate it, fixed the lining on my yellow knitted cowl, made a little knitted headphone top cover that i will probably redo differently, headband ear warmer for my roommate's mom, and FINALLY i just barely finished the scarf for my SO before the end of 2023!

print block carving: wristwatch print, gavelbocken holiday card print

misc/writing: some songxuexiao fencing au. some harrowhark abhorsen au. neocities website!

and so much pottery! this is all of it, barring the things i already gave away as presents before this photo (two pots and a little box and the little raven guy), but wow! that's so many fuckin object!

misc what a fucking year. some bad! had to file a big car insurance claim! got really sick while abroad and that persisted for a long fucking time! mini summer breakdown! some good stuff too - passed quantum mechanics FOREVER good fucking bye, did my first successful academic conference, finally started feeling better around the end of the year! learned my lesson: it's not fuckin worth stressing yourself to death over, and also i can't just Be At Home Aimlessly for months any more. it's bad for my mental health.

reviewing 2023 resolutions and goals --> I’d love to start writing again and play more horn but we’ll see i basically didn't do any creative writing at all this year barring a few lines of fanfic ideas (the abhorsen/tlt crossover one) HOWEVER i READ a lot of fanfic to marinate in and i played a LOT more french horn!! i joined the little youth orchestra which is like, uber goofy, but it means ive been playing on a regular basis again!

--> I also wanna listen to more weird music, and invest in actually owning some files, especially for some of the lesser-known bands and through bandcamp and stuff i spent all year meaning to do this and kept pushing it off so it rolls over into next year.

--> I really want to kind of dial those [unhealthy coping mechanisms] back again, focus more on existing in Reality and more in each moment, which hopefully will also help with some of the skin picking and other anxious habits that resurfaced. maybe more yoga, maybe re-establishing a meditation process lol lmao. nah. but definitely rolling it over into 2024.

--> I would love to think more about my fashion and how I present myself too, and work on making and tailoring more of my clothing in general actually not bad! basically zero tailoring but i did a pretty good job wearing some cute outfits.

--> I’ve been pretty good about being active so I’d like to keep that up, I still can’t do a pull-up but maybe this is the year! (lol) I should also start doing some minor exercises for my shitty arthritis toes to keep those okay once again: lol lmao. health issues had me really regress in some of my gains goals. plus side is toes are doin pretty normal.

--> a lot of last year was kind of a wash regarding research so I’m really looking forward to refocusing on that and really getting things moving. oh it moved! in a good way! i'm making good progress and hopefully i will keep that momentum going!

--> finally! I want to get back to tabletop! I miss doing it so much! it fell by the wayside for me because of how busy and overwhelmed I was, especially this past fall semester, but I want to start running and playing games with my pals again a little! i should have been putting these in playing as i went oops. the tabletop group i've run was a little fallow this year due to at least half of our group, including myself, not being in Tabletop Mood but we've played a lot of res arcana and other such games instead.

i had a few other resolutions in my digital planner on my ipad that didn't go in the writeup last year: namely, practice languages more (i did practice my mandarin a little but did not really learn any hebrew or korean unfortunately) and establish a non-software component of my research (nope, not in the cards, but i'm hoping to do something else this summer to let me get better with physical data/setups), and finishing the masters degree requirements (that will be the end of this upcoming spring semester), but overall i really did hit most of my resolutions and goals! even with being ill for a while! (except the finances. i am simply not looking at them <3)

2024 resolutions and goals

definitely some rollover! i will format this to hopefully be a little easier to respond to next year:

- get back on a regular workout schedule: swimming 1x a week, weights once or twice a week. would like to try and work towards my One Pullup goal again. would also be cool to try and work towards a hand/headstand. - try and be more mindful. i'm going to continue the grief therapy but also think about meditating more, doing more yoga, and so on. - there's a gallery on main street that solicits work from local artists for bimonthy themed exhibitions and i really want to submit at least one thing to it this year! the one due by end of january is themed 'florals', and the one two months after that is 'layers', so i'd really like to submit something to one of those. - more weird art! use that big canvas i bought in literally 2022! paint!!! - finally put together that travel journal from korea & japan (and also scrapbook-ify the papers i have leftover in a pile from that) - also, maybe do current scrapbook a little different? might need a new binder at the very least. - hang up that expensive quilt i bought in august - speaking of quilt: do some hand quilting, english paper piercing! i have so much fucking fabric! - find a new apartment to move into that hopefully won't suck! - try to secure some sort of summer internship or project that will let me develop some new skillsets that i might not be getting with my current research - finish the masters degree - write...a paper? for the work i just presented??? - keep tweaking neocities and make some more pages - keep track of recipes this year as well in my making section

i might start a little spreadsheet this year to keep better track of all my stuff because i really did Not want to go through all my separate listening and reading sections and extract what i liked the most, etc. this post required me to first back up a few extra early tuesdayposts from this year to dreamwidth, and then skim all of them to accumulate the above, and that was kinda a pain. and i love an excuse to start a new spreadsheet.

we did it! happy 2024! i don't think i have anything else to add to this wrapup but if i think of something i'll tack it into the upcoming Normal Tuesdaypost tomorrow! good job good night and good luck everyone!

#tuesdayposting

[bug-decal-kissing]

Hey friends!

El caballero y el Mago, by DULname, was updated today, with 2/? Chapters released! It has a rating of General Audiences and No Archive Warnings Apply, with no additional tags :]!

You can read it here:

Ohohoho Prismo has no idea who the red knight really is >:]<. He was looking forward to having fun with his cool new buddy Scarab :[. It's so funny to watch him be like 'man I hope Scarab is okay right now this guy looks dangerous' one day he will be able to put two and two together. And it will be ANGSTY >:}.

Lavender Dreams, by PrettyQueerDear, was updated today, with 2/? Chapters released! It has a rating of Mature and Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, with additional tags "Alternate Universe - Small Town, Dreams and Nightmares, References to Depression, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort"

You can read it here:

It's all coming together now AUGH I'm so excited for the next chapter!! I am trying not to spoil too much, but THE PIECES ARE CLICKING INTO PLACE ! And the way the chapter ended on a CLIFFHANGER AAAAAAGH/pos. Prismo you GOOF; I am really hoping he doesn't get in trouble for breaking the rules like this >:]. Future Chapters will be coming out slower (about two or three weeks from now)!

A new work, Magic... Baby! by Anonymous was published today, with 1/1 Chapters released! It has a rating of General Audiences and No Archive Warnings Apply, with additional tags "My First Work in This Fandom, Crack, Drabble, How Do I Tag, yes the egg is made with magic, idk I thought it would be kinda funny, Out of Character, probably, Look this was a short idea and I’ve been dying to get anything written, egg, This Is STUPID"

You can read it here:

Awwww they're gonna be dads now :]/j. I love Prismo looking at the egg and almost immediately going '🫵yours?' like hELLO this fic is rated GENERAL AUDIENCES, keep it that way you bubblegum pink sticker/j. Let them keep the egg that's their baby now <3/j.

Not That Bad by Megastrum was updated today, with 3/? Chapters released! It has a rating of Teen And Up Audiences and No Archive Warnings Apply, with additional tags "Fluff, Angst, Prohibited wish - Freeform, Slow Burn, Touch-Starved, My First Fanfic, Scarab Has Trust Issues"

You can read it here:

MY BOOOOOOYS NOOOOOO </3. Prismo you DINGBAT (affectionate). It's so silly how he's going 'this party is so much fun right scarab :-)' and scarab is two more sentences away from leaving the wall and fistfighting someone. But they COMMUNICATED <3 YES KINGS <33333

social butterfly, anxious beetle by sparklinggrapesoda was updated today, with 8/? Chapters released! It has a rating of Teen And Up Audiences and No Archive Warnings Apply, with additional tags "Fluff, Falling In Love, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Human, Bonding, Awkwardness, Rating May Change, t4t, Jake's still dead, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, prismo's a lil depressed, Recreational Drug Usesmut in later chapters, Non-Consensual Touching, its not bad, its also not Prismo, First Kiss, Literal Sleeping Together, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together"

You can read it here:

AAAAAAAAAAAA/pos. MY BOYS MY BOYS !!!!! IT FINALLY HAPPENED AAAAAAAA !! I knew how this chapter was going to end but I was still NERVOUS for the both of them. But it was SO GOOD :,]. My day has become infinitely better my crops have been watered my skin is clear everything is right in the world once more/j.

NSFW works are below the cut :].

Silly Bug by TJade was updated today, with 4/? Chapters released! It has a rating of Explicit and No Archive Warnings Apply, with additional tags "Genderbending, Domestic Fluff, Teasing, Humor, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Suggestive Themes, Awkwardness, Awkward Sexual Situations, Awkward Conversations, Communication, Healthy Relationships, Voyeurism"

You can read it here:

Smut is coming next chapter, who's ready/pos !!! Priscilla getting so flustered so quickly made me heehee a little; babbygrill you literally asked for this, calm down/j. And they got to have a nice and soft moment with each other :,] my one weakness: women being in love/hj. I love them so much, you guys have no idea <3

#prohibitedwish #prohibitedwish fics #el caballero y el mago #lavender dreams #magic… baby! #not that bad #social butterfly anxious beetle #silly bug

[dystopicjumpsuit]

Hello! I'd love to hear your answers for C, J, and P for the fanfic ask game :)

Thank you for the ask! Great choices!

C is a little tough, but I think probably Kix is the character in my fics that I identify with most closely, and I don't know what that says about me other than that I have somewhat unhealthy coping mechanisms 😬

For J, I'm going to pick "Do It Again." There's an alternate universe where the reader ended up in a very cozy sandwich made of Tup and Cerra.

For P, I'm going to cheat and call myself a landscape architect. I won't start writing a fic until I have at least some semblance of an outline, and for a longfic, it will be very detailed (the outline for my WIP is 42 pages). I start with the ending so I know where the story is going, and then I go to the beginning and map it out. Once I actually start writing, though, I'll add whole scenes or even chapters that are never even hinted at in the outline, and they'll often turn out to be my favorites. For a short fic, it can be extremely basic (just the major story beats, really), but I never start anything without knowing where it's going.

#dystopicjumpsuit answers #ask game

[goddesspharo]

DEN for the fic asks, please?

For move it to the exits, as requested!

D: Is there a song or a playlist to associate with move it to the exits?

I don't know why I never create an actual playlist while writing because I usually will listen to a handful of songs on repeat while writing. It's probably because they don't necessarily have anything to do with what I'm writing – sometimes I just need the background noise of a song on repeat. In this case though, I was listening Semisonic's "Closing Time" a bunch (hence, the title) because it's not a song you can only listen to once. At some point it led to discovering this Spotify playlist (not mine) which was such a fun blast from the past and meant that I could just run that on repeat instead.

E: If you wrote a sequel to move it to the exits, what would it be about?

Unequivocally, it would be the one where Ann Evans comes to visit for a week, which prompts Kyle and Isobel to fake date (except for how they're totally actually dating but too in denial to admit) while she's in Roswell. They plan to stage a fake breakup before she goes except Kyle is too good of a fake boyfriend (this show depriving me of watching Kyle charm the hell out of Isobel's WASPy mother is one of my villain origin stories) and Isobel's having too much fun being wooed so they keep putting it off. Liz struggles to keep her "I told you so" in check.

N: Is there a fic you wish someone else would write (or finish) for you?

If it's one of my fics - at this point, it's finishing the apocalypse AU WIP! Someone go into my brain and then translate the rest of it into a word doc. In my head, it's basically done but I don't know why I'm dragging my feet about actually writing it. Why did I commit to A PLOT? Vibes only from now on.

If it's a fic that I wish someone would write into existence, I think the world needs more post-Speed (1994) fic where we ignore the existence of Speed 2 and find out what happens when two hot people stop jumping gaps in the freeway and start getting real. I want to see them DATING and having unhealthy coping mechanisms! It is a crime that neither Speed 2 nor The Lake House was a continuation of Speed.

Fanfic ask game - ask me things!

#we can pretend there is a thought process behind any of this #ask me things

[ultimateluckystudent-writes]

1, 28, 30!! Sending love <3

I'm literally beaming so much love at you all the time Cressie I hope you can feel the little lasers

How many words have you written this year?

I was really hoping someone would ask me this!!! So, if we're just counting fanfiction but we're counting all fanfiction, 131,015 words!! About 50k I wrote in two or three weeks about Yu Ishigami and I couldn't tell you why or what's even in it. O.O. But so much of it won't ever see the light of day lmfao- I've been writing for myself since I was in seventh grade, back when I wrote literally like 500k words in one year when I was barely starting out! It was a really, really big coping mechanism.

Also, I almost included like, On Island Time in here? I could have sworn I wrote them this year but they were literally last summer... I looked at my fics and realized I kind of disappeared for the last school year... haha... whoops!

28. Favorite work you wrote this year?

alkfjlkdakf I was also hoping for this one!!!

All in all? Definitely When I Don't Remember You, which is why it got pulled from the shelf lol. It's the first multi-chaptered fic I'd ever want to post that I really consider finished. I love the Reader in that fic and the dynamic between her and Nagito even more... amnesia fics go brr... unhealthy people doing their absolute best to have a healthy relationship even when that means going their separate ways... devotion and codependency...

From what I posted? Love Me Dead was like a little bug in my brain (and still is lol) and was very satisfying to finally complete, but for some reason I really ended up liking Stress Relief for Dummies (or Two Bros depending on what site you're on lmfao) I originally had more planned for them but other dynamics took my attention, just like with On Island Time

Actually, you could probably see those in the same universe

30. Biggest surprise while writing this year?

How much comfort I'd get from it and the community around it! Around January of this year, I was kind of losing interest in DR, and then I thought I'd move on to Kaguya-sama, but I really don't pick the fixation I guess- It was a really hard year, especially during the summer, and I got knocked kind of flat on my ass. WIDRY was actually something I started before everything went a bit sideways and what I threw myself into after. But anyways, even after my radio silence for like a year, people still wanted to read my stuff and you all are so, so, so, so nice!!! I'm getting so sappy over self-insert Danganronpa fanfic lol, but talking about any of my writing no matter the genre always does.

#bunnyspeaks #again thank you ily cressie i appreciate all your love im just a shy little worm who cant reply to your comments like a nerd

[star-rug-64]

Oh yeah I agree if your coping mechanism isn’t helping you and is making you worse you should probably stop or else you’ll just gonna end up harming yourself which is very unhealthy, like I try not to judge what people use to cope but if it’s like very problematic (pedo fanfics, incest fanfics, etc.) keep it away from me as I don’t like to talk about that due to trauma related stuff, like that’s why I have proshippers on my dni because of trauma related stuff and I would rather not want to see pedo, incest, or rape shit on my dask ya know?

Ya same

[twwobsessed]

if anyone wanted to share some hurt/comfort and/or mental health fics that I should read, I would be eternally grateful. they can be west wing or madam secretary or literally anything good

#a little personal #a lot has happened this week and I need a little comfort #and fanfics are my probably unhealthy coping mechanism #but that’s a story for another time #the west wing #madam secretary

[abitqueery]

Is reading fanfics as a coping mechanism for my crippling anxiety, issues and insecurities unhealthy? Probably

Do I plan to stop? Definitely not

#fanfiction #Ao3 #johnlock #merthur #destiel #ineffable husbands #iron dad #spider son #look #its my issues and I get to choose how to deal with it

[myztify]

Do you really think Fez and Lexi will be together in s3? I honestly don't see it happening, as much as that pains me to see. I feel their relationship was a plot device to get Lexi to come out of her shell because someone non-judgemental and curious entered her life who encouraged her to be bold, and to provide a tragic contrast for Fez's story, showing that he was completely entangled in a life he didn't want, that he couldn't escape it and that it would kill the only family member he had left.

The plotline worked really well as a device, but a resolution to their story means there will be no dramatic tension or angst characteristic of the show if they get together. It seems like all the relationships on the show are just fucked and it doesnt feel like this will be any different :( it also doesn't seem plausible based on what Fez has been through that he will even be able to enter into a relationship. I'd love to hear your thoughts on what you think realistically will happen :) thanks

i really don’t know. i don’t think it’s clear what the end goal is for euphoria? for example, it was obvious that breaking bad was always going to end with the fall of the main character. but i don’t feel like it’s clear if euphoria is a show that will give everyone a tragic end OR if we’re just in the thick of the drama right now and all of this tragedy/misery is heading towards a happier/hopeful final result. does that make sense?

i also don’t know if SL will be motivated by the fan reaction to fexi. it seems logical for him to expand on fexi in s3 because the fan response has been so positive but that doesn’t mean he will

with that being said, i think there’s a tonne of tension and angst that can come from fez and lexi being together. so many of the lovely writers in this fandom have explored/are exploring the implications of a relationship between them post-season 2. fez will be going through it and there’s opportunity to explore grief/loss/healthy and unhealthy coping mechanisms in the show. and loss and grief are already huge themes

that’s a really long way for me to say once again, that i don’t know! i’m trying not to speculate too much when we have a 2 year wait ahead. until s3 arrives, i’ll probably just convince myself that my fave fanfics are canon lol

#asks

[nov4-rocket5]

Doctor Doom and his Scar

It seems there are often two ways to interpret Doctor Doom’s scar, either the Kirby route where it’s his ego and vanity to hide a scratch that has probably long faded, or to go a full mangled look because his dumbass decided to put on his mask when it was fresh out of the forge.

I have my own headcanon.

Doom's a perfectionist to an unhealthy degree who realises that he's not perfect. He desperately wishes to be the spitting image of an Ancient Greek statue, but he just isn't. The same way he wants to be the smartest genius that ever geniused, but Richards surpasses him.

So he starts noticing things.

A cleft chin which means the two sides of the jaw aren't exactly symmetrical. His nose is a bit fatter in the middle than he'd like. His hairline's recessed. Minor stuff that build and build as he pays attention to them. His paranoia starts getting to him. So when the scar comes around, it's not a case of him ruining his "perfect face". It's the justification he finally needs to hide all of his imperfections under a personally crafted mask. The eviller he becomes, the more punches he takes, the worse his face gets, through stress and damage.

For me it fits because I've always read Doom as the guy who's a nobody trying to become somebody. If you turn him into a super-beautiful, smarter-than-everyone, better-than-everyone-at-everything type of character he then loses the nuance. For example, I used to read all those headcanons and fanfics. Most of them were written by women who went

“Oh yeah, he's like super-tall and super-buff with a huge cock and he fucks violently but like gently and he's very caring about m-I mean the OC and he invites random women to fuck and...”

It's just fanficcy garbage that delegates him to a power fantasy. The self-inserters who want to fantasize about being the bestest Chad ThunderCock, and the women who want to get fucked by that. It's just not good character development.

Doom's just a nobody who clawed to the top. He's "average", but he's average, or a bit more, at everything. Richards is smarter. Strange is more magically talented. Black Bolt was bred to be a King. And so on. Doom's the guy burrying his "subpar" self in a suit of armour and trying to reate a myth for himself.

But those attempts to create his own “myth” come from a place of childishness. He dresses up in a mideival suit of armor, runs fascist shithole where the laws change depending entirely on whether Doom wakes up on the right side of the bed or not, builds armies of robots, and constantly seeks ultimate power for him to flaunt in the most power-fantastical ways possible. Seriously, he goes as far as to call himself God Emperor Doom.

Doom is an mildly above-average guy with a desire to be something "superior" but seen through a childlike lens (dude, scars and masks).

It must be remembered that Doom, for all his accomplishments and feats, is an absolute manchild.

Doom’s not mangled, and deep down he knows that he has no compulsion, or even a reason to wear a mask. But, as with most things in his life, he LARPs and pretends. It's better to "believe" that he's such a narcissist that he'd "petically" go over the edge, than admit that he's merely a man. It's an attempt to begin turning himself into a Myth, and less of a compulsive coping mechanism.

#marvel #comic books #doctor doom #victor von doom #fantastic four #reed richards #character analysis #headcanon #silver surfer #doctor strange #black bolt #inhumans

[purple-dahlias]

Re: your most recent post

34

34. Copy and paste an excerpt you’re particularly fond of.

thank you for this!! i picked an excerpt from the beginning of one of my medtober fics, for day 28 :)

It had been gloomy since Sarah had woken up early that morning. Dark, heavy clouds seemed to hang low over the city, enveloping the buildings, and the persistent, ever-present drizzle combined to paint a rather dismal picture that only seemed to amplify the miserable mood Sarah had been in all day. She can’t exactly place why she had been feeling so off lately, but she just is. And it’s frustrating and tiring all in one. She just wants to feel some semblance of normal again, not to have this dark, metaphorical cloud hanging over her that made it barely possible for her to function outside of her job. Her tactic right now was just to throw herself into her work, hope that maybe, just maybe, if she tried not to pay much mind to whatever was going on inside of her, it would just slip away. Irrational, really. Especially for someone who was supposed to be a psychiatrist. If she had heard of a patient doing that, well. She would have immediately thought that an unhealthy coping mechanism. But, it always was the way that whenever it came to yourself, you always were a little blind to how things really were; what they really meant. And doctors were no exception to that. In fact, they were probably some of the worst when it came to it.

35 questions for fanfic writers

#asks #ask games

[failing-to-write-again]

Sakamaki Character Analysis: Beabitch's Boys

Like ok so there's loads of scenarios/fanfics about the Sakamaki Bros helping the reader when they're depressed and similar situations to that but like actually thinking on it it's completely backwards and really unhealthy for that to be happening. So here's my in-depth analysis before I probably write a fic about it:

Shu:

ok so Shu is definitely dealing with depression and has been for a very long time without any form of actual help. As a child he did receive praise however he was never allowed to have interest and other career goals, it was only ever the vampire crown because Beatrix (henceforth called Beabitch in this) only cared about showing she was the best. Then he makes an actual friend who doesn't see him as a tool to complete their aims or to brag about. Reiji's jealousy (discussed later) then results in the village getting burner down and the assumed death or Edgar (I have many thoughts on this).

So Shu has been treated as a tool in someone else's game and the one time he makes a friend who actually cares about him, they die. That fucks up kids especially when you're a scared little kid and so, completely understandably, freeze that creates feelings of guilt. Shu lacks any motivation he doesn't see why he should do anything as all he'll get are hollow praise for people who want to use him to brag or be scoffed at by Reiji if he fails. Anytime he's tried doing stuff he likes it's backfired and as a result he lacks any motivation and is probably very depressed.

Then comes the music, I have a lot of trouble with intrusive thoughts/anxiety/depression and guess what my coping mechanism is? I put in earphones and drown out everything. My earphones are basically surgically attached to my neck/ears. Now I take em off when I'm doing something I enjoy as then I distracted, but other then that they're always on. Now think about Shu and how much this parallels him except he doesn't even have anything he likes he can do without music.

Shu needs someone to notice this and get him out of the funk. Find things he can do without earphones, slowly get him to open up. And most importantly someone who won't give out to him for sleeping too much or cancelling plans due to this sleeping. If he's feeling worse then normal giving out to him will only make him feel worse. He needs the understanding of "I'm here, the restaurant will always be there next week. C'mon let's go sit outside and I can tell you about the different constellations" now look at what that does. It validates his importance to you as a person, not as a boyfriend tool, not as a bragging right, AS A PERSON. It shows you want him there because it's him, as well as this you're not letting him stay in the funk but you're not pushing him too far. Sitting outside to escape the atmosphere of the mansion and Reiji's glares, and you talking about something he can listen to as a distraction but not his coping mechanism of music.

Shu wouldn't be able to help a person with depression as he himself has depression so severe it's heavily affecting his life. Shu is not perfect and his behavior definitely can't be excused completely but the approach shouldn't be screaming or berating but slow understanding with limits. "No you can't touch my butt while I read to you. [ignore him when he tries calling you lewd women or being pervy]. I said no touching my butt, [walk to another spot to sit and continue to read to him from a distance] apologise and I'll come back." He needs to not just receive praise, the fact you give limits gives him structure. People can't be allowed do what they want without consequence.

Reiji:

Now I know it seems I gave Reiji shit in Shu's one about the glares and all that but I'm not salty about it because it's clear Reiji is also in desperate need of help. We all are aware he didn't receive any attention from his mother and Shu was clearly favoured, although I don't think he fully understands why his mother preferred Shu as Reiji feels jealous of Shu as opposed to solely blaming his mother.

So as I've said before, Beabitch didn't really love Shu, and definitely not Reiji. She loved what Shu did to her status, she's the first wife of the vampire king and gave birth to the next one blah blah blah. I don't think Reiji fully understands this as he feels Shu just rejected all of Beabitch's love, not realising this was because Shu knew he wasn't loved for him, he was loved for his royal blood.

Reiji also has never had ANYONE to care for him, he's essentially the head of the household with organization and discipline. He does everything and gets no thanks or even really recognition for it. This results in him pushing away any form of positive attention unknowingly and assuming it's pity or because he's rich. The one thing is craves is what he can't take. He doesn't know what it's like to be loved or appreciated other then teachers praise over grades.

Reiji can't just have a hype partner, that's unhealthy for him to be dependent on one person like that. Instead he needs simple care, coming to talk to him over his brothers, saying thank you when he helps and telling him how you appreciate him, offering to help cook dinner (even if he refuses, it's about showing you care rather then taking over his duties). That being said DO NOT PANDER TO BAD BEHAVIOR. No he can not hit you/drug you/berate you (as in telling you you're nothing over being human, not regular kinda cold person things like "why are you hugging me I'm busy go bother someone else...NO WAIT DON'T GO I'M LONELY") and get cuddles afterwards. He will soon learn that being slightly cold but a gentleman will get him love, aka the parts of his personality that aren't harmful to have necessarily. So the being weird with PDA, liking teapots and being smart, the manners, the sarcasm. Those get a pass. But the hitting, drugging, telling you you're worthless just because you're human, etc etc etc that shit won't get him the result he wants; attention. He's a scientist so this will make him think he's figured this all out on his own even though you're probably pretty aware that you're teaching him how to be a better person in a healthier way.

Now once you're dating and he begins opening up I think it's important you try slip in the idea Shu wasn't loved for being a son, but because he was useful for Beabitch. You and Shu's therapy friend or s/o should try foster a less hateful relationship. I don't expect them to be best buds anything soon or maybe ever, but having Reiji not want to destroy Shu and Shu not feeling drained or expecting a verbal smack around is definitely something that is good for them. We see in one route of the games for Reiji (forgot which one maybe it's in more blood?) Reiji actually accepts the role of advisor to Shu and we see Shu's shock when Reiji changes a plan to suit Shu better, we also see Shu show he appreciates it in a fairly backwards Shu way. THIS IS WHAT'S NEEDED! They don't need loving brother relationship necessarily but they need some level of trust and understanding.

in conclusion I love both of these boys but they need love first before I can start begging for attention.

AIGHT IMA SPLIT THIS BECAUSE THERE'S A LOT TO COVER! NEXT WILL BE CUNTDELIA'S SPAWN.

#reiji sakamaki #shu sakamaki #diabolik brothers #diabolik lovers #sakamaki brothers #beatrix sakamaki

[octinary]

2020 in Review

I got tagged by two very wonderful people (@round--robin and @tumbleweedtech - thanks for thinking of me!) to try this “5 favourite works you created in 2020″ thing, so here it goes! 

1. Him (E, 33k, CW: graphic depictions of violence, depression, self-harm, suicide attempt)

Summary:  In his time as a witcher, Geralt has killed just about everything that can be killed: monsters, beasts, constructs, men, even the undead can die again if you know the trick to it. Wraiths, he knows, are the lingering troubled spirits of people who died tragically, violently, unjustly and unavenged. Their unfair fate spawns in them a jealousy and hatred of everything living that quickly drives them mad and makes them dangerous and deadly, driven to torment those responsible for their plight. Usually he feels no more than a twinge of pity as he sends them off again with silver and fire, but then again usually they aren’t haunting him. Usually they aren’t Jaskier.  Geralt learns that Jaskier never made it off the mountain after the dragon hunt and, if that’s what it takes to appease the monster that now wears his face, neither will Geralt.

This is it.  The big one.  This is the one I am most proud of and also the most popular thing I’ve written this year by hits, by comments and by bookmarks.  I have definitely received the most lovely feedback regarding it, some of which had me almost tearing up.  It is also hands-down the story I felt most compelled to tell and that was most important to me that I told it well.  It’s also one of those things that reading it probably tells you way more about me than I am actually comfortable with...  It also has inspired two pieces of really amazing fanart by @pinkaxolotl85 and @gerrito! Check them out here and here!

2. Something Eternal (E, 6,666 words, CW: graphic depictions of violence, major character death)

Summary: Kaer Morhen has always been haunted. Before Salamandra plundered the paltry survivors of the earlier pogrom for forgotten reagents, before the pogrom, when the mob fanatically massacred the Wolf witchers out of blind hate, even before the witchers themselves strapped their children down to administer the mutagens that killed 7 out of every 10 so tortured, the bones of the long dead sea and the whisper of long stilled waves painted every corridor of the keep with their memories. It’s always been a place for dead things. It’s where, at the end of his long full life, Jaskier of Oxenfurt goes to die. It’s where the monster he brought with him is going to kill everyone he loves.

Hilariously, we go from my most popular fic to my least popular fic, but it’s still one I am very proud of.  It was written for the The Witcher Halloween Flash Fic Challenge (so in 48 hours from conception to finished product), but I think it turned out pretty good.  I would like to think that it is the tags, not the writing, that have been keeping people away.  It was also my first time writing horror (unless you could Him as horror, I guess), and I am unreasonably amused by finishing it at 6,666 words.

3. Save a Horse (E, 6.5k, CW: porn, pony play)

Summary: It was Eskel’s idea. It had to be really. The number of people who could seriously suggest to the two of them that Lambert pretend to be Geralt’s mount in a sexually submissive way, and then actually have that suggestion acted on, was exactly one. Lambert would have decked anyone else out of hand before even considering it, but Eskel? Eskel, who knew them both so well, who shared his own kinks with them playfully when they all fell into bed together, who seemed to want nothing more than for them all to enjoy each other? He at least owed it to Eskel to listen.

My first (and so far only) try at writing smut and I dove right into the deep end!  I am pretty proud of the characterizations in this one, even if it is porn.  Spoiler alert: it is about 2k of build-up and the smut is probably what a lot of people would consider pretty tame and just chock full of feelings.  My excuse for it is that the real kink was trust and understanding all along.  I had a few readers tell me that pony play isn’t really their thing and they still enjoyed it, so I think it worked out in the end.

4. Present Tense (T, 5.3k, CW: canon typical violence, unhealthy coping mechanisms, canon character death)

Summary:  After avenging Aiden’s death, Lambert was not particularly concerned with ensuring his own survival.  Luckily for everyone who still cared about the prickly bastard, his survival no longer seemed to be up to him.

Another fic from The Witcher Flash Fic Challenge!  Seriously, that challenge got me out of a number of writing funks this year and was very much a godsend.  I don’t know why in particular I like this one so much; it might just be some of the wordplay or imagery, but I think it sticks out as some of my better writing.

5. In Which Markus (Professional Highwayman) Gets Stabbed (T, 4.4k, CW: none that I can think of - it is very silly fluff)

Summary: Markus has a simple three step plan: 1. Watch the tournament at the Passiflora to see who wins the pot. 2. Get that person drunk. 3. Steal everything they have.  He is also about to have three problems: 1. Geralt 2. Yennefer 3. Jaskier

It was honestly a toss up between this and Lingua Franca (my first attempt at Witcher fanfic) as the last entry, but I think overall this one is a neater and more polished piece of writing.  It is 90% banter with a sweet ending.  It’s probably the funniest thing I’ve done and it was just so much fun to write and seemed to descend fully formed from the heavens merely using me as a conduit.  I think the whole thing took me maybe two hours to write, if that.  It was also my first foray into actually interacting with other people in the fandom, since it was inspired by another work (In which Artur (Apprentice Thief) quits his job by Volts) and I had to be brave and actually talk to another human being to make sure they were okay with me riffing off of their idea.

I tag @sternenstaub28 and @major-trouble!  What are you proud of making this year?  If you want to share, of course.  No pressure!

#the witcher #fanfic #tag game #year in review

[the-apocryphal-one]

Hello! I love your writing and takes on the danganronpa characters, and I was wondering if I could ask for some advice. A friend and I are trying to write a fanfic where Nagito actually gets character development and we think the events of the OVA is one of best things to use. How would you suggest writing a Nagito, after seeing this hidden side of himself, try to confront his flaws and be a better person?

Hi, thank you, and yes you can!

To be honest I don’t know if I’m the best person to ask about writing Nagito developing out of his unhealthy mindset--I shied away from publishing a chapter about that in Expansion Pack because I wasn’t sure I could capture it properly. Still, ideally, I would suggest:

- It takes a long time. The SDR2 kids are likely all various levels of traumatized just because of the killing game and what they did as Ultimate Despair; that’s not taking into account anything that happened pre-HPA. Nagito’s one of those who has had a really crappy life (due to his luck cycle) and has adopted an obsession with hope as a sort of coping mechanism. This causes his objectifying of the Ultimates as “symbols of hope” rather than as people, which alienates him, which feeds back into his non-existent self-esteem. And, because he’s Nagito, he would likely have very, very deeply repressed his feelings on what’s he’s experienced in favor of clinging to his “hope won in the end, that’s what matters” belief.

...all of this being a wordy way to say, Nagito has tremendously unhealthy coping mechanisms and belief systems that have been ingrained in him for most of his life, and that developing out of them would take a long time and also (likely) run alongside therapy/some sort of healing.

- tbh I don’t think Nagito would confront his flaws immediately after the OVA. I mean, his reaction to being told by World Destroyer that his ideal world was one without talent, was to go “haha no that’s ridiculous” and basically settle back into his elitism/pedestal raising/”hope!” zone (which fuels my “Nagito represses negative feelings” theory, since he consciously rejects something built by his subconscious). So I think the desire to change would be something that creeps up in him over time (since single, cataclysmic events seem to do nothing but reinforce his belief), likely with outside encouragement.

- I briefly touched on this is Expansion Pack, but I think one of the ways Nagito could work to improve himself is to trying seeing his peers as people, not symbols. Chiaki encouraged this by giving him a questionnaire and having him ask their classmates about themselves; other possibilities could be more participating in group activities (he did spend a year away from them in canon, then they all got brainwashed, so naturally his bond with them isn’t as tight) and simple conversation. Basically the group would need to include him in the group, but he would also need to put in effort to be part of the group and socialize.

- Classmates I think would be good for him while he’s doing this: Hajizuru (self explanatory), Mikan (they would probably not let the other cut themself down), NEKOMARU (yes, I had to put Nekomaru in caps, because he would probably be awesome at encouraging Nagito; in fact, the cut Nagito chapter was gonna be about him and Nekomaru), Mahiru (she’s no-nonsense but kind, so I feel she could be a good influence), Gundham (therapy animals), Chiaki (if you have one of them alive in your fic, and also self-explanatory).

Hope this helps!

#answers #nagito komaeda #sdr2 #dangan ronpa 3 #extra life