#and finally: amatonormativity

[immortalarizona]

listen. I have never watched Riverdale and never will. but that doesn’t mean I’m not sO FUCKING PISSED at the polycule ending.

I’m not mad about the polyamory (I would like to stress this point for anyone who wants to come after me for this post), I’m mad that Jughead Jones, one of, like, the two aroace characters in media people have actually maybe heard of (the other being Yelena Belova) is part of this romantic, sexual relationship.

he’s ace!!!

he’s aro!!!

and it fucking stings that the writers thought it was okay to erase that aroace rep when there’s next to none for us to begin with.

fuck your amatonormativity and fuck your queer erasure. we aspecs deserve better.

#“bUt aRi aTtrAcTioN iSn’T aCtiOn!!1! hE cOuLd sTiLL bE aRoAcE iN riVeRdaLe!1!11” #yeah I’m aware of that but I HIGHLY DOUBT THAT WAS WHAT THE WRITERS WERE GOING FOR #and do you fucking think your average allo is gonna read it that way even if it was??? #also tbh I Do Not trust allo writers to tell that kind of story without perpetuatinflg erasure #can’t have shit in detroit I guess #tw aphobia #asexual #aromantic #aroace #riverdale #riverdale finale #aroace jughead #anti riverdale #fuck amatonormativity

[aro-enigma]

It's rly annoying seeing people try to describe QPRs in a detailed way that will make sense to everyone. Like, I'll see people explain it as this intense commitment and I'll even see people say that it's prioritized over all other relationships (and that totally may be true for some and that's totally fine!!)

BUT THAT JUST ISN'T TRUE FOR EVERY PERSON'S VIEW OF A QPR. A queer-platonic relationship can be a deeply personal and different thing from individual to individual

As an aromantic with no connection to romantic attraction whatsoever a QPR is just any relationship that is outside of what is considered societally "normal". Ffs, I'd consider a noncommittal friends with benefits relationship to be a qpr for me.

Also, the whole idea of a specific relationship label making that relationship take priority just feels like repackaged amatonormativity. How about we not put relationships on a generic societal pedestal maybe? Each individual will decide for themselves what is most emotionally important to them and I think trying to explain QPRs to people as if they're romance-lite isn't the best way to go about it.

I truly think that pushing "you don't have to understand something to respect it" is soo much more important and useful for our community than making people understand every aspect of an identity

#im open to other perspectives on this #but i have seen it done multiple times it just kinda finally clicked why i didnt like that method of explanation this time #this is just my initial reaction to seeing someone try to explain a qpr and thinking the way they did it was odd #aromantic #arospec #aro #aroallo #amatonormativity #queerplatonic #qpr #queerplatonic relationship

[ultfreakme]

Honestly Geto and Gojo having the same death anniversary which happens to be the most romantic day in Japan, with a character in-story stating how romantic it is should be enough evidence to convince anybody that SatoSugu are supposed to be a romance.

On top of that, we hear that JJK0 is about Yuuta and Rika's love but it's also about Geto and Gojo's relationship.

Then Gege Akutami specifically assigning break-up songs to Geto and Gojo.

AND THEN; they each get canon songs made in each other's POV speaking about their feelings specifically for one another. Where Gojo's song contains lyrics like "Even though I’ve come to know the scent of you being different from mine" and "Any prayer, any word Could bring us closer, but they couldn’t reach you Just like a silent love, In the summery colors along my cheeks". And Geto's song has lyrics like "Even trivial conversations are fine. Show me your blushing face once more" and "It exists only here. I want to touch you" and "Though I understand a wounded heart. Why do I end up hurting and leaving the same scars?"

The animation team going out of their way to give these two more soft moments hanging, creating visual parallels through the Betta Fishes, the flowers, the entire OP for Hideen Inventory but especially the part where we are seeing Gojo's vision being filled with Geto looking amazing while he rides Geto's rainbow dragon.

I saw someone say we're just projecting western views of romance onto satosugu but like, LOOK AT ALL THIS. I cannot stress enough the insanity of their death dates. It's like two people dying one after the other on Valentine's Day. This is some Romeo & Juliet bullshit. JJK in general has next to no romance, no one's pining after each other, the few times there are implications, it's very short. The most obvious one is Mechamaru and Miwa. Now imagine if Mechamaru and Miwa were the ones who got Ao No Sumika and Akari. Imagine they got 5 episodes dedicated to their story and Mechamaru dies on December 24th and Miwa's the one forced to put him out of his misery for betraying them to Mahito and Kenjaku.

Okay do you fucking see how ridiculous denying SatoSugu is? If Mechamaru and Miwa got all that even WITHOUT saying an 'I love you' no one would question their romance.

I know people keep making fun of shonen animes for having a stronger 'romance' between the two guy leads than with any other love interest but I've seen that stuff and even there it isn't nearly as deliberately romantic as SatoSugu. I can tell that Kuroko & Kagami, Gon & Killua or Levi & Erwin are supposed to be friends, the shipping thing is based on the established friendship stuff but SatoSugu are so blatant it's hard to think of another explanation.

I saw a point about how people are projecting western perspectives of romance on platonic friendship expression in a different culture, which I do get, I think it's a valid point. Idk much about how people express friendship in Japan but I have heard there's a lot more skinship and openness as compared to western cultures.

But w/ SatoSugu there isn't anything that can be read as purely platonic, there's always an ambiguity or it's directly romantic.

#satosugu #tired of dudebros freaking out over how on the nose satosugu is #'oh they're brothers' buddy maybe I could still believe that for narusasu because the author mentioned basing it on his brothers #but satosugu in-text are aligned with lots of romance #THEY'RE VISUALLY CONTRASTING BUT COMPATIBLE TOO #i know i know amatonormativity #I GET THAT #but you can't deny these two are romantically involved when the OST that played over their final scene together was called- #;This is pure love' #genuinely how can you explain it as anything else?

[a-passing-storm]

A thing that I found out that I think is interesting (fucked up) is that the US Supreme Court doesn't recognize any kind of parent-child or familial evidentiary privilege. It recognizes spousal privilege, but not familial privilege. I think that's so fucked up!

(Also, this was from a really quick search. Don't take this information as the absolute truth or anything.)

#aromantic #aro #amatonormativity #allonormativity #dante dicit #spousal privilege #i am doing a sociology project on amatonormativity (and it's my final project i have three months to do it) #and i am definitely going to mention this in my project. i feel alittle bad for my group members. #they were like “i don't have a topic” and i was like “I DO” and they are just... in for the ride now. #i really want to go above the scope of the project and do some kind of real actual research beyond literature review stuff #but yeah. i think that's really fucked up. #i'm thinking of having a component just listing laws and such that enforce relationship hierarchy

[non-sam-aplatonicism]

Are we ever going to talk about how most friendships would be considered a situationship if the term situationship wasnt restricted to romantic and/or sexual relationships

Are we ever going to talk about how the fact that situationship is restricted to romantic and/or sexual relationships has an inherent and obvious implication that friendships are worth so little that setting clear boundaries for them is not important enough to worry about it

Or are we just going to sit here in the "friendship is at the bottom of the mythical relationship hierarchy so it doesnt matter!!!!" boat in content without questioning the things society has taught us like little sheep

#hi its me nonsam aplatonicism i finally thought of another post to put here #i dont actually think ofmy aplatonicism alot but i still wanted a seperate blog for it.... #mainly to have a picture of platonic the phantom thief as a..pun #i guess it's a pun #i think it;sf unny. anyway #aplatonic #apl #apl safe #aplspec #non-sam aplatonic #amatonormativity #relationship anarchy #situationships #aspec #meow #<-- im a cat #purrrrr meow meow mrrrrpr mrororomeroemromrrwom

[sapphireluminescence]

Amatonormative Invective

I'm so tired of love.

Please don't say that there are other kinds of love. I know, okay? I've written an ode to a best friend and an elegy to an interest and called it love both times—I know. But the rest of the world doesn't seem to. Any kind of "love" I might deign to describe will be assumed romantic, and my own arcing terms will be turned against me to hold romance aloft as the all-encompassing, end-all-be-all singular thing to die for. And so, I am tired of love. Spare me the lecture.

But at the same time, this ire is not against the idea of intimacy; I have no quarrel with connection. Romance is not inherent to either, and though it still feels like a betrayal of the sentiment, I do not want to brave the world on my own.

I want to know the quiet of companionship. Not silence—not the frigid abyss of an empty house, where every sound is startling in its foreignness, nor the tightrope tension of tripping over porcelain, reading someone else's anger into the brittle air—just, quiet. Mornings in a light-flooded bedroom, waking up slow and watching someone else blink themselves out of sleep. Inane musings over separate tasks, paper-airplane banter tossed and caught from room to room with ease. Afternoons sprawled on the living room floor, watching sunlight slant through the windows to illuminate their face, eyes molten in the glow. A study of peace, curled up in office chairs listening to rustling pages and the breath of another. Lofty midnight ramblings, hands a flurry of motion and still failing to keep pace with a brain sparking ahead, but content in the knowledge of a mind to match.

I want the warmth of someone else's presence. A partner, I guess, in the purest sense of the word. "A person who shares or is associated with another in some action or endeavor," if the action is living and the endeavor is the building of a future. The promise of an ally. Steady at one shoulder, solid back-to-back. The assurance of a crewmate through storm and smooth sailing alike, over the ceaseless seas of this life.

But the world has agreed that these things are reserved, that they are romantic at their core.

I don't—have never—seen why.

They require trust, and understanding, and dedication, and a thousand other things, but none of them are love.

And I know it's a teenage cliche, to fear a future spent unlovable, but this is not quite that, twists around it and never quite aligns. I would have been happy piecing together an existence with friends, laughter rising through the rafters of a shared house and life, would have found joy, and warmth, and peace. I could have found myself a family—fuck what the world thinks love should be—and settled comfortably into my own skin.

Could have.

Could have, and cannot.

There is no future I can see where my friends stay, where they don't fly from my side like swallows in winter wind. Each disperses after the other, seeking warmer shores, absorbed into insular units of nuclear family to leave me, drifting unmoored and compassless, searching the skies for a sign of their soaring. The thought of a life without them makes me ache to the bone, an endless march of cold mornings in an echoing house. Their absence turns the future bleak and desolate, frost creeping over my brightest dreams.

How could they stay? You've seen what the world says:

My mother tells me to be careful about whom I marry. My father tells me to start a family early. I have expressed nothing but disinterest in either, but the advice persists, because surely it will be relevant one day, because I am young and minds change, because of course I will get married in the end.

I tell someone in a moment of confiding that I don't want kids, not really, would be satisfied with a cat or dog and a space of my own. They say, "Yeah, that's what I thought when I was like, eight."

The sentiment is passed over school tables and internet cables, words not meant to be sharp, but regardless, they find a mark.

"Reasons to stay alive," and a future marriage is at the top, followed directly by starting a family.

"Don't worry," someone consoles. "It's alright to take things slow, you'll find someone!"

"Friends don't cancel other plans" for each other the way lovers do, the song insists.

"True love," someone proclaims, like romance is the only kind that counts.

"I don't want to die alone" equates to needing to get married.

"Friendship doesn't count, doesn't last, isn't enough."

After all, your spouse is supposed to be

"The most important person,"

"Your other half,"

"Soulmate,"

"The one."

Under this barrage, who is meant to resist? Who would think to stray from the concrete course laid before them? When it's held up as the pinnacle and standard, the ultimate goal, who would dare to question?

To leave the expected trajectory—never as simple as stepping sideways, all bitter fury and disillusionment. Half the songs I once loved are tainted now, innuendo and implication mocking from the shadows. It tears cruel thorns through the fabric of this world, seeps through the cracks, into tropes and stories and conversations, desecrating spaces I once called holy.

For those who do not stray, these are words and nothing more, harmless briar in places they need not tread. They have been spared this casual clawing at my heart, and though I cannot begrudge the ones I care for their immunity, I seethe with a soundless envy.

Two roads diverge in a yellow wood—one a barely-there footpath through the trees, unnoticeable from the main route unless you're looking for a way out, mist-shrouded and dense with bramble, the other, a well-trodden trail through open fields that stretch, uninterrupted to where the waving grass meets the horizon. This one leads where I cannot follow, so I have taken the one less traveled by.

I trust that it will get easier. The slope will even out and the path will open up, mist and bristling vines alike will recede. I know this. But for now, this is an aimless trek through unforgiving and unmapped wilds, and the journey before me has never looked so long or so lonely.

#writing #poetry #amatonormativity #carnival of aros #aro #wrote this last year when i was having a crisis about what the future would look like #wrote it over a few months and by the time i was done i'd made peace with some stuff #and so i thought i didn't want to post it until i'd written the sequel to it (which Will exist) #but i'm feeling impulsive tonight and procrastinating finals #soooo #aro poetry #fuck amatonormativity

[batri-jopa]

In heteronormative narrations a single-female-friend character is most often depicted as a threat for the couple/marriage. Threat for the girl that is. Like: beware, this bitch is single! so "obviously" her main goal is to steal your guy because, you know, she's a desperate selfish erotically-starving bitch...

Well, I can't speak for other single ladies but in the most couples I know - if I were to brake the relationship I'd rather run away with the girl🤷

#I'm aro and ace. but girls are just funnier #I like my male cousins but honestly? every each one of them I would give away for his wife #my cousins' wives are not ''related'' to me and yet they all feel more like family to me than my male cousins ever did #not to mention I secretly wish my best friend could finally break free from the toxic relationship #that she have with her lazy underappreciating partner #maybe then we could meet more often... or even live closer to each other again #I certainly don't hate guys! though if having one on my own - for the most part of the day I would not know what to do with him🤔 #unless he would be enormously talkative. like an average girl😜 #relationship goals #single #aroace #aromantic #asexual #heteronormativity #amatonormativity #relationship #''why would I want your man? I don't know why you want your man'' #EDIT: okey there's also my female-cousin's boyfriend. I love to talk with him #he's quite xenophobic conspiracy theories fan and YET he's intelligent enough to have a fascinating conversation with #but I also like to talk about movies with my best friend's boyfriend. even though I think she should get rid of him #no offence man - our shared interests don't change the fact that just don't deserve her at all👎

[bookwyrminspiration]

re: your tags on a recent answer sayingabout reading stellarlune that stellarlune is only your second hated bc legacy is worse

i haven't read legacy in a hot minute so *chinhands* wanna tell me more?

i don't remember anything important from it except the whole Alvar thing (which, honestly, you're telling me the Neverseen had a method to completely wipe a guy's brain only to perfectly restore it with a certain trigger, and nobody talked about it again??) And I somewhat remember the trolls? great-aunt Luzia Vacker put a troll farm on her property for some reason i don't remember, then for some reason moved away from it and left it on the property out of her control? Wack

oh and i do remember being wildly annoyed by the ending, where sophie spends like twelve books up to this point vocally refuting the matchmaking system and not wanting to do it, but then she turns around and does it after all?? (and okay, i can admit that she probably did it bc she really loves fitz and like, if he'll only accept her if the matchmakers allowed it, then perhaps through the power of love it'll work out for her? but it doesn't, so she and fitz have to make hard decisions about their lives.) So yeah actually give me your matchmaking/legacy ending thoughts too!

I'd love to! However, you did just describe the plot of Flashback, not Legacy, so I'll try to cover both of them briefly

Flashback I'm mostly neutral on--I do enjoy the sophitz before Shannon started their forced crash (in Legacy, part of the reason I dislike it), and exploring Tam's potential with shadowflux is lovely since I love him. Few clarifications: Luzia made a secret alliance with the trolls to hide their hive, since it's their biggest vulnerability; she moved away because she needed more space. Apparently during that time, Luzia helped with experiments on them--but the hive left there was closed on their side, so Luzia wasn't part of the most recent batch; my guess is she thought it was inactive and abandoned, otherwise she wouldn't let the new Vackers live there

But yes, I was incredibly underwhelmed by its ending. Coming out of books where the cliffhanger is her entire family's been kidnapped, Alvar's lost his memories, her being ineligible for a pairing system I don't care about as the final reveal is like...ok. and? but, I do acknowledge this is entirely biased by my aromanticism and relationship anarchy. I simply don't give a shit. sophie, however, does. so I understand why from her pov that's a massive bombshell, and very stressful. i'm just not the audience for that reveal

unfortunately for me, that ending sets up a major part of the next book, which is why Legacy is my least favorite. I want to be very upfront and say my least favorite. this is my ranking based on my personal interests and enjoyment, it's absolutely fine if you (general) like Legacy. this is incredibly biased and opinionated

OKAY, so. I simply cannot get myself to care about Sophie's relationship woes, and they're not even written true to the characters! That thing I said about a forced crash? It's like as soon as they got together, Shannon decided the loss of hidden crush drama was too much, and she immediately sabotaged them to make up for it. This post gives a good example, adding a fake time crunch to make it seem more important and blaming Fitz. And the thing about Fitz being like "you wouldn't want to not find your parents, right?" when one of the first trust exercises they did together she told him directly she didn't want to because she thought she'd hate them. And they didn't brush past it! They talked about it a little! But of course now he's conveniently forgotten

If it was compelling, I could accept their demise. But it's not! It feels like drama for drama's sake, and it's just frustrating to read. With the seven books we spent building up to them, imploding everything about them in one book without any pay off is like...why. Just why. and it comprises SO MUCH of the story! Sophie's always thinking about it, prioritizing it, worrying about it, and I! am not here for that. Which is entirely a personal preference thing. i've been in a qpr for years, relationship anarchy is my normal, and it's just so...exhausting? reading her thoughts about how her life is going to be ruined and everyone's going to hate her. first of all, that's clearly an overreaction and I'm not believing this tension for a second. second, boo fucking hoo. you're atypical. join the club and stop moaning about how it sucks to be us. she's on a learning/acceptance curve, I know, but that doesn't make it fun to hear that kind of rhetoric--especially since I'm fairly certain Shannon wrote this without that in mind at all

I am aware I'm being mean to Sophie. I can logically understand all her beliefs and actions, and I know they're suited to her, her background, her values, and where she is in life right now. on a technical level, I get it. that doesn't mean emotionally I enjoy it, even if there's a reason to it all. it's simply a part of the story I, as an aromantic person, dislike. and that is my experience and opinion, I am in no way speaking for others.

so to summarize: I hate how the characters were handles and how sophie thinks of matchmaking in Legacy, and those things were a significant portion of the book, so I don't like it in general. personally. my very biased and emotionally driven opinion :)

#kotlc #kotlc crit #quil's queries #valentinerose529 #i always feel like I'm so close but not quite there with explaining it #there's something there. that I keep struggling to define #that's the crux of it all #even though the final message is going to be 'the system is bad you should do what you want' #sophie spends this book battling and parroting amatonormativity. and while she'll learn. #the reality is that's how she behaves in this book. pouting and despairing about this system and how much she #wishes she didn't have to have an abnormal realtionship #but it's a point of pride in my aromantic identity. so sophie and I really just aren't on the same page here #and of course we don't /have/ to be. everyone is allowed to have their feelings #i simply don't share hers. #and I'm not going to empathize with her. i feel /compassion/ for her struggles and journey #but I'm proud of this part of me. i'm not going to change that to feel sad about how she's like me #i hope I'm explaining this well

[alexjcrowley]

I actually am finer than ever with St Valentine now that I chose to identify as aromantic. No more I am unlovable and this day is a yearly reminder. I look at couples thinking "wow, they're happy together! I am happy for them! I am better off alone though." They can get their lovey-dovey celebration if they want, I know it sounds weird, but I feel like every other day of the year is for me, today the lovers go off as they should. It's convoluted, but I don't feel irritated about this day anymore. I can be happy for the lovers today because I don't have to waste time being sad for myself. I am okay with who I am and this makes be okay with everybody else.

#btw totally fine and comprehensible if you hate Valentine's day #either because of amatonormativity of capitalism of whatever reason #this is just me being okay with myself finally #aromantic #valentine's day

[unnecessarilygrandiose]

.

#okay rant time lol. spoilers for 6x18 #i think i will have to say that this may have been my least favourite of all 6b episodes #haha ik i should probably give myself time to process the episode but idk i'd rather just write everything out #i just. just yesterday i was complaining about some people treating 911 like it's the buck show and today... it was the buck show? #and like! an episode being extra focused on one character is absolutely fine!! great even!! i really enjoyed 6x11!! #but in the season finale you expect each character to get a more equitable amount of focus right? #and like. even 4x14 which had a significantly less focus on eddie than one might expect had the will scene #and maddie had a bit less focus in that episode too but even she quit her job and it was obvious she was Going Through Stuff #and these slightly restricted screentimes gave jumping off points for their respective very spectacular s5 arcs #but this episode? like it wasn't that it didn't focus on other characters but it was mostly buck #and... idk man it does make sense given that he had the longest running plotlines this season but also #i just wish we had focused more on other characters as well #and like? as for buck? the couch? #i'll be honest i'm disappointed they introduced romance this season for buck at all when the season began with him choosing to be single #i really thought he wouldn't date at all for this one season at least yk? #and yeah ik we live in an amatonormative world but cmooon a guy can have his happy ending without getting together with someone #also bucktalia feels a little odd to me rn especially given the number of false starts they had #if they'd done this exact same storyline but at the beginning of next season i'd probably love it... right now tho i'm very meh over it #as in there is potential but it's like... idk mannnn why do we need him to end up with someone at allllll... i'm too aro for this shit #starting something new this close to the end of the season instead of tying off the two arcs that were already ongoing for him #was certainly a choice #aah well. at least natalia seems good for him. she came back which is the most important thing buck would want in a partner right? #still tho. i really wish we'd gotten to know more about the new henren baby than we did #i wish we'd gotten to see madney discussing plans instead of just the exact moment where they decide they want to marry on the patio #i wish we'd gotten the entire conversation that lead up to chris hyping (or snarking at) eddie to call marisol #i wish we'd gotten bathena hurriedly packing for their trip and may making fun of them as she helps #i just wish we'd gotten more of others!! #oh well. at least we still got chimney time and captain hen and cheddie working together and hen and eddie leaning on each other #you win some you lose some i guess #anyways if you actually read all the way til down here thank you for your time hehe

[delphiniumjoy]

I'm craving domesticity

All I want in life is to be done with school and have a job that I can live off of without burning out, and live close enough to my friends that we can hang out on at least a weekly basis.

My biggest fear in my early twenties is that I won't know how to build a community, but damn, when you realize it might be within reach, it's so hard not to be impatient.

But in any case, it's not here yet, and I have an essay to write.

#found family #ennui #finals week #why am i so lonely #fuck the holidays #fuck finals #amatopunk #because the nuclear family and amatonormativity are the only things making people think this would be weird

[antique-symbolism]

what's your ultimate problematic fave?

How I Met Your Mother, don't @ me!!!

#despite all of it's flaws it's a charming show that makes me feel things #a lot of the time I'm like 'this could all be solved if you all weren't so extremely heterosexual and amatonormative' #and I'm not gonna put a coin in the Problematic Jar for every time the show makes an off-colour joke but ofc there are many #but also there's a lot of heart in this show and it makes me laugh #so every couple years i do a full rewatch minus the finale because the finale was so fucking egregious i have to pretend it doesn't exist

[onstoryladders]

the truth is that most days i don't like being aro. ooof there i said it. happy pride to me 😘💚

#(just to clarify i dont feel like this because i think that love is what makes us human or any of that amatonormative crap) #aromantic #elle.txt #anyway it feels good to finally write it down #like actually put the words one in front of thw other instead of rbing other stuff or alluding at what i feel etc etc #because this is the truth #ignoring wont make it go away #this is how i feel and i accept it #aro negativity #(just in case)

[a-passing-storm]

Has anyone actually read Minimizing Marriage: Marriage, Morality, and the Law by Elizabeth Brake? Does it include any statistical or empirical information? Could you send me a picture of the citations page?

Even if you haven't, PLEASE reblog so that this can hopefully reach someone who has.

#amatonormativity #aro #elizabeth blake #aromantic #allonormativity #minimizing marriage #minimizing marriage: marriage morality and the law #i am!!! losing it for some reason i was SO sure that Elizabeth Brake was a sociologist and not a philosopher #and i am kind of FUCKED. i'm not actually that fucked but. okay so. #for my sociology class i get to do a really really big final project and i REALLY am set on doing mine on amatonormativity #and i was like “oh this will be easy the term was coined by a sociologist there must be sociological research done already!” #but nooo. and also i didn't realize the book was $46. so i'm not sure atm if it is worth getting although i still do really wanna get it #but like for my project i Need factual information and such. #and i honestly cannot find as much online that's Academic as i thought #dante dicit

[ajdrawshq]

on that note. heyy wait no nvm what i was abt to say i think i just found the glitch in the matrix here.. OHHHHH I DID

#LETS GOOO I WAS WONDERING IF ID FIND ANYTHING ABT THIS SOON #imagine a whole ass country getting kh2 prologues photo'd. would that be fucked up or what #i love when the game gets ever so slightly fucked up lookin. i wish i could play this on a crt #'choosing someone to date is a little out of your comfort zone' Hello. aspec beam blasting siffrin rn #'WE HAVE ONE OF THOSE AT HOME'.... god #MIRABELLE ASPEC BEAM AS WELL???? #oh my god these poor kids have to deal with amatonormativity too. as if the time freezing shit wasnt enough #oh my god? #SIFFRIN CONFIRMED ASEXUAL REAL????????????????????? #!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! H #0(-( #finally some good fucking aspec rep and TWO OF THEM AT ONCE we are so winning. hhhholy shit my heart #'how do you deal with it then' '[you dont]' yeah 👍 #these 2 are very much my favorites. i already knew that before this lil thing but im so . !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #BOOSTS ALL OF HER STATS BY HOW MUCH??? CHRIST. OK #holy shit shes just busted now #AGH MY COMPUTER BATTERY #well i got thru Odiles thingy too at least. hers was vv good too..... #was trying to speed thru bonnies but i kept getting the questions wrong sjcbksbx #thats it for tonight i guess. bc i am Not getting up to get my charger rn #isat #isat spoilers

[slippery-minghus]

hmm. i've identified for a very long time as being not fully aromantic, because i've had a few experiences of attraction here and there. the whole technical terms i'd used are pan+gray+demiromantic. basically, once in a blue moon, after lots of emotional attachment, there's a slight chance, ender notwithstanding, that i may fall in love.

and maybe, if i remember the way i felt for that girl in college correctly, maybe i did feel real genuine romantic attraction to her. it's really hard to say. and the boy i dated - in high school and again recently - i vividly remember being 18 and trying to convince myself that what i felt for him must be romantic attraction. it felt different than regular friendship, and i longed for that feeling enough to get back together with him but... i'm wondering if that really was romantic attraction.

which, ultimately, i don't think it really matters. because after that relationship i just ended, i know i don't want to get close to someone like that again. it's funny, the past several years were always "if the next person isn't the one, i'm done dating forever (bad end)" but now it's like... i don't have to date? i can actually be alone forever like i've always wanted to but had convinced myself it would hurt me?

so. i think it's fair to say i'm aromantic. i've always felt like i had to say "aromantic, but..." — not anymore. i am aromantic. because it makes me happy. no if's and's or but's.

#it feels like such a breath of freedom that i have finally accepted that being alone isn't going to hurt me #amatonormativity is such a fucking bitch #combined with being gaslit to hell and back growing up that everything i want is going to hurt me #for once it's like... no. i want this. and i have PROOF that it will make me happy #ace stuff #narrating my life