#and for some reason you're so bothered by my beliefs that you feel the need to send shit like this to me

[mikaela-the-slut-expert]

Hello! I'm so happy I found your blog! I like your story, the way you write it! And it’s so easy for me to imagine my OC with your story, because our OCs are a little similar, only my character is something like a god/demon of death, a little more cold and his pets are snakes))

Sooooo... Sorry for taking a lot of time with my character 😅 the request for headcanons is haulian x reader and how will Xie Lian and Hua Cheng react if the reader feels like the third wheel in their trio and become a little bit distant because want to give them some space? (I have the idea in my head that the reader is basically like your OC, i like him soooooo much)

Sorry if it's not clear, English is not my native language. And if you don't like the idea, just ignore it))

Closing The Distance

Hua Cheng x M!Reader x Xie Liam

I'm so happy you like my writing and I love to hear about your OC so don't worry. I'm happy our OC's are so similar 🥰🖤

I like writing stories with my headcanons soooo bare with me, bear with me???

____________________________________

You've been distant. Well you've never reached out to people before this either, but you're more distant than usual.

Xie Lian and Hua Cheng noticed immediately.

How you start declining things, how you just sit to the side, you don't talk much, You let them sleep alone, eat dinner alone.

You stop being near them. The kisses you give dwindle down to nothing and the words "I love you" have been reserved.

They haven't a clue why. Xie Lian and Hua Cheng have tried to think of every reasonable possibility but don't know why

Why would you want to be alone when it's supposed to be the three of you together?

It gets to the point where they have to visit you instead of the other way around. Paradise Manor, and Puqi shrine is all of your homes but you don't show up to either one anymore.

You're hiding away at your own place and they just don't know what to do

It really breaks Xie Lian's heart because you've been by his side all these years why do you want to leave now?

Hua Cheng is equally devastated. He would do anything for you and Xie Lian but you're pulling away.

The two can only think that maybe you just don't love them anymore, maybe you're tired of them?

You would never do that though

Xie Lian doesn't like it and neither does Hua Cheng. They intend to get to the bottom of it because they love you.

They would try to give you space but when it seems to only make it worse they don't stop bothering you

That's what it seems like you need, to be bothered.

Xie Lian keeps asking, and caring for you

Hua Cheng gets insecure. He knows he's good that Xie Lian loves him but do you? You aren't disgusted by him are you? Contrary to popular belief ghost kings get insecure too

************************************

You are pathetic, at least you feel like you are. Hiding away like a bug under a rock. You don't know when it started and you couldn't control it when it got out of hand. It's nothing against Xie Lian and Hua Cheng, you love them dearly. But the problem you have feels like a problem you can't even bring up. You don't want to hurt them.

Would you hurt them more by bringing it up or staying hidden?

So you've been... Lying here. Bed rotting. If you can even call it that. You're actually just lying under a rock. Very literally. You're hanging out in a small cave. It's nothing you aren't used to you used to do it with Xie Lian all the time.

You could've gone to the heavens and hidden up there but you don't have friends. You have Feng Xin, and Mu Qing but you know they would snitch on you if it came to Xie Lian. So here you are under a rock. Overthinking.

You always overthink, it's why you left in the first place. You also felt selfish. It's hard to see Xie Lian and Hua Cheng together. You love them both, honest! But what do they even need you for? They look perfect without you, like they were made to just have each other. You felt like you were getting in the way, or like a third wheel.

You know they love you too but... It feels so difficult to be included. When Hua Cheng first showed up he immediately was able to take Xie Lian's side and help him with missions. Which was fine you guys needed the extra help anyways but then you learned their pasts. They're just so intertwined with each other

Hua Cheng built temples for Xie Lian, released 3,000 lanterns, built statues, fought in war, challenged 33 gods, cut out his eye, and died 3 times for him, and broke his shackles! What could you possibly add to the relationship. No one could care for Xie Lian better than Hua Cheng.

Xie Lian saved Hua Cheng when he was a child, and stayed with Wu Ming. Gave him a coral pearl, and red string. What have you done?

All the heavens talk about is Xie Lian and Hua Cheng. The ghost realm is the same. You were never a prominent figure so people forget you're even there. They don't even know you're their lover too.

So yes it's hard, and maybe it's selfish that you want to feel more included when they already spoil you when anything you could ask for. Which is why you're hiding in a small, dumb cave. You eventually fall asleep to the pitter, patter of rain.

When you wake up you aren't under a rock anymore. You're in bed. In red sheets, in a red room, red, red, red. You're at paradise manor. You wouldn't mind that if you weren't actively avoiding your lovers. You sit straight up in bed and before you can tumble out Xie Lian is at your bedside. He's frowning and has this worried look in his eyes that makes you feel guilty.

"Where have you been, y/n?" You look away and shrug. "In the cave you found me in" your lips wobble a little. You don't know what to say. What excuse could you use this time? You pick at a loose piece of thread on the blanket and notice that Hua Cheng isn't in the room with you two. ". . . Where's San Lang?"

"A-Lang" Xie Lian interrupts you and his hand finds yours "You've always called him A-Lang"

You want to crinkle under his piercing gaze. "Where's A-Lang?" You whisper glancing back at the blanket.

"Standing outside the room. Baobei why have you been avoiding us?" Xie Lian turns your gaze back to him.

"I-I just was dealing with my own issues" Your hands fist in the blankets and your eyes get watery just thinking about how selfish you've been.

Xie Lian's hand caresses your cheek, "Our issues. We can help you if you tell us."

You bite your lips and bring your hand up trying to wipe your tears before they get the chance to stream down your face. "It's selfish" you spit, venom covers your tongue. "It was a pathetic reason, really. I just was overthinking and I felt like. . . A third wheel. It's not a big deal though" You glare at the blanket. Your anger of course isn't directed at them but at yourself. Xie Lian knows this too.

"A third wheel, how come?" He runs his fingers through your hair. Him and Hua Cheng have tried everything to include you so how could one feel left out?

"It's my own fault, I just don't feel like I have anything to add. I've nothing to offer. I've done nothing compared to you two" You're completely useless like always.

Xie Lian's questioning is interrupted when the door slams open. You both jump when Hua Cheng storms in and grabs a hold of your face. He would never hurt you, you all know this. "Nothing to offer? Just who are you talking about right now?" He frowns at you with furrowed brows. "I don't think we're seeing the same person." He doesn't let you divert your gaze keeping you there.

Hua Cheng knows what you're feeling, your insecurities stemming all from feeling useless. He knows how it is. "You have everything to offer and even if you didn't we would love you anyways. You don't have to add anything y/n, you can just be" he frowns and sits on the bed.

"I think you're going blind in your other eye. I really don't have anything" you blink away tears. "This one offers so much and he doesn't even know, he's done so much for the two of us and doesn't remember. Right gege?" Hua Cheng looks at his other husband for approval and Xie Lian nods.

"This one is a heavenly official. You have to work hard to become a god in the upper court" Xie Lian adds. You scoff though. "That's not what I'm talking about, I-I haven't done anything for the two of you"

Hua Cheng wants to shake you in a jar. "You have though!" Now he's yelling and Hua Cheng doesn't yell only when it comes to the two of you. "Who's rayed by Xie Lian all these years protecting him when I was lost? You did! Who took care of Hong er when Gege's other servants wouldn't dare touch him? You did. Who gave a mongrel child their family heirloom because he had sympathy and was kind? You did!" Hua Cheng holds your face in his hands still.

"You work so hard, and have gone through so much just like the rest of us and yet you still worry about others still!"

"every night this one takes care of us and helps Gege make dinner. Every day this one protects us, every day this one thinks of us and gives his best for us!"

Hua Cheng gives endless reasons small to large. You're crying in his hands and Hua Cheng wipes them away for you.

"No one is allowed to insult my lovers, even if they're doing it themselves" Hua Cheng finishes and kisses your forehead. Xie Lian is smiling and he kisses your forehead too.

"Don't run from us anymore, you can tell us what you're thinking anytime. Me and San Lang have no problem giving you the reassurance you need" he hums and joins you two in bed. All three of you cuddle for the rest of the night and the two practically suffocate you, not allowing you to leave bed. But you love them and would gladly lie here tangled in their limbs.

____________________________________

I hope y'all like it! Also ignore my grammar mistakes guys I always have some. 🖤

#hualian #hualian x reader #tgcf #tgcf headcanon #hua cheng x reader #tgcf x male reader #xie lian x reader #tgcf xie lian #xie lian #tgcf hualian #tgcf hua cheng #hua cheng #tgcf x reader

[deleteddewewted]

How To Not Welcome The New Years (MHA)

(MHA Edition x Gn! Reader)

MDNI

W: Everyone is Aged Up (18+), Cheating, Angst, Hurt/Injured, No One Is a Good Person Including the Reader, (C: Bakugou, Shinso, Monoma, Kirishima, Aizawa, and Hawks)

Bakugou

He was always too busy for the smallest of things.

He was too busy to set up a date night.

He was always too busy.

He had no problem doing the interviews he hated but he had an issue if you asked him to go to bed with you if you wanted some affection.

Your relationship was wilting away right under him and he seemed to not care.

You checked out of it already. You were ready for him to end things soon since he didn't bother to get you a present for Christmas and he didn't even come home for the holiday either.

He didn't even bother to open them once he got home and instead went to his office to finish up some reports.

You thought that maybe he would try to put in an effort for New Year's.

His agency always hosts a party for the sidekicks and you, delusionally, thought he would take you.

He left you behind at home to greet the new year.

You called him.

He surprised you when he picked up. In the background, you could hear his friends talking.

Maybe once upon a time, it would hurt that he was prioritizing his friends but you were numb. It no longer mattered.

"What do you need Y/n?" He was annoyed. Maybe it was at you. Maybe it was because of how loud his friends were being. Kirishima could be heard in the background talking about some trip he had planned for after New Year's.

You dont remember the last time he ever took you on a vacation.

"I'm breaking up with you. I'll be out by tonight." You're to the point. There was no reason for you to prolong it.

He fell out of love and you were done with being in love with someone who didn't see you as worth spending his time on.

"W-what?! What are you talking about?"

"Bye Bakugou." You ended the call and began packing.

Your phone kept ringing as you packet. You turned it off after the 5th call.

You had an apartment already. You had it just in case you ended the relationship earlier.

You welcomed the new year alone and walking down the busy and joy-filled streets of Japan, bags in hand and phone turned off.

Shinso

He was so sweet when you both started dating.

He was attentive and patient with you. Never did he raise his voice even when you were in the wrong.

He coddled you and that was something you didn't mind too much as your relationship progressed.

It felt nice to be wanted and to be looked after but it began to change as you both got older and entered your respective careers.

He started snapping at you.

He was angry. He reminded you of Bakugou but he lacked the ego.

The once loving and comforting Shinso was now a brut who came home to get upset with you.

He yelled, he cried. He was frustrated beyond belief. He repeated as much to you.

"You wouldn't understand just how hard my job is." doesn't matter if you worked the same job or not, he always made you feel like you were not as hard-working or as overworked as him.

For the holidays he didn't bother to put on a happy face when you visited your family. He started arguing that you should have gone to his family for the holidays.

For New Years you had hoped he would've appreciated the reservation you made at his favorite restaurant.

You dressed up and made sure to make yourself look and feel good. You liked having an excuse to dress up, try something new, and see what might make him happy.

You both agreed to meet at the restaurant since he was out working.

And when you got there he was in his hero uniform instead of the suit he had said he was going to change into at the agency he worked at.

He was sweaty and dirty, and his hair had stuck to his forehead.

"Shinso, you said that-" You were cut off as he slammed his hand against the table, the drinks that had been set spilling onto the table and onto the floor.

"For fuck sake, Y/n. I just got off of work. Can I please relax?" He snapped at you.

You started the New Year crying. He kept muttering to himself about how upsetting it was that he couldn't eat in peace.

Monoma

He was gentlemanly with you. Always opening the door for you, taking his jacket/hoodie/coat off so you could wear it even if it means that he'd be cold.

He was always attentive even if he was self-centered at times.

As he entered his career he was bombarded with work all at once. He never had a moment for you and when he got home he would say he was tired.

You thought that maybe for the Holidays he would get a break but that wasn’t the case. He was working late, barely answering his phone and sleeping at the agency just so he could finish paperwork.

He told you that he would take you to the agency’s New Year’s party.

You were enjoying the music and the drinks, speaking to his friends and your friends when you realized he wasn’t by your side anymore.

You looked for him and in a hallway you found him kissing with someone who you knew to be a sidekick.

“Monoma” You didn’t know what to say or do. He jumped and pushed the sidekick away before trying to get close to you.

“Y/n! W-Wait! Let me explain. This is all a big misunderstanding!” He tried explaining but you were already walking away. He went back to the party and couldn’t find you anywhere.

No one knew where you were and he couldn’t get a hold of you. He started panicking thinking that you might have gotten hurt or worse.

Kirishima

Kirishima didn’t know when to quit and that was the reason why you loved him so much.

He was always trying to push himself to do things that he might fear for the sake of someone else.

He was scared to ask you out and when he managed to get the word with he couldn’t help let out a cheer when you accepted to date him.

Once he started his pro-hero career it took a lot out of him. Physically and mentally.

He was constantly getting injured and every time you had come to the hospital not knowing how or why he got hurt.

There were times when he nearly died and it left you distraught. You never knew when it would be the last time you’d see him.

And he refused to tell you what he was doing or how hurt he was.

New Year's was no different.

He was hurt and bleeding out after fighting a villain. He was rushed to the hospital and when you arrived to check up on him he snapped at you when you began asking him what happened.

You had spent so long telling him that you wanted him to stop taking so many risks. His health and life were on the line and he truly didn’t need to be making brash decisions.

"Y/n, if I don't do this who will?" He was frustrated and you understood that but you also dreaded someday not having the chance to see him again.

"Eijiro, please-"

"Y/n, stop. Just please stop." He doesn't want to hear you complain and he asks you to leave.

He hears the fireworks outside his hospital room.

Aizawa

He's always stressed out and that's how you met him.

He was feeding strays on his patrol and he saw you doing the same.

You started dating and it didn't bother you at all that he was absent often since he worked at UA and as an underground hero.

He made an effort to be there for the holidays but even if he couldn't be there he would make sure to tell you in advance.

The only issue with this was that he prioritized work and solitude more than being around people.

You could understand that he wanted to have his breaks in peace but it also meant that he would push you away.

It started bothering you after a while. You told him that you'd like to spend more time with him and he agreed that he could try but nothing changed.

UA decided to host a New Year's party for the teachers and students.

Aizawa went, not bothering to tell you, and when you tried getting a hold of him he didn't answer his phone.

You got into an argument when he came back.

"Why didn't you tell me you were going to the party? I could have joined you." You felt hurt.

"I only went to keep the peace. Hizashi made me go."

"And you could have brought me so I could meet your coworkers."

"Stop it. Im tired and want to sleep, Y/n." He cut you off.

He went to bed leaving you to sleep on the couch as you watched the news broadcasters celebrate the new year.

Hawks

He played the role of an attentive boyfriend well.

He felt something for you, he knew it was something positive but he didn't know if he could define it as love.

He was always good at pretending so it didn't hurt to try and be your boyfriend.

It was a new relationship and he liked the affection he got from you. it was nice.

He felt appreciated in a way he hadn't been before.

Your touch, your kisses, your hugs. It was warm and inviting.

It all came crashing during the New Year party the hero commissioned hosted for all ranked heroes.

He was getting pictures with fans, talking with possible investors for his agency, talking with heroes, and all while ignoring you.

You understood he had his priorities on his agency but ever since you two started dating, it felt like he wasn't really invested in the relationship. Like something was missing from it.

When the countdown began, you tried getting him to join you out on the balcony. You wanted to greet the new year with him but he wouldn't budge.

"Give me a second." He said before making his way over to Endeavor and Jeanist.

The clock hit midnight and everyone cheered as they congratulated each other.

Hawks didn't go back to you at all. You left the party without telling him anything and just went back to your apartment.

He didn't notice you were gone until they started clearing the space and the cleaning crew started cleaning up.

He looked for you and when he couldn't find you he tried calling.

You never answer him and so he left to search for you before leaving you a last text and heading home.

#mha #bnha #bakugou x reader #bakugou katsuki #bakugou angst #mha bakugou #katsuki bakugo x reader #bnha bakugou #bakugou x you #shinso #hitoshi shinsou #shinso angst #shinso x reader #hitoshi shinso x reader #monoma #monoma neito #monoma x reader #monoma neito x reader #mha monoma #kirishima x reader #kirishima eijirou #mha kirishima #kirishima x you #aizawa #aizawa shouta #aizawa x reader #aizawa x you #aizawa angst #hawks x reader #keigo takami

[lizard-queen-izzy]

OK! WE'RE DOING THIS!

Everyone shut up and sit down. I'm talking about TMA. I am listening through for the first time, I'm through S1 and halfway through S2, and I already have many Thoughts. Today, we will be focusing on my evil ship thoughts, because I missed my chance when this was coming out so now I will subject you all.

I know Jon and Martin get together at some point, and yknow, that's all fine and good.

BUT I WANNA TALK ABOUT JON AND TIM, OK?

There is so much potential for something there, and they would be so incredibly messy after the S1 finale.

[I've lightly scrolled through the jontim tag, and I truly don't think there's enough of you talking about how tragic they are. Platonic or romantic, they're so so sad.]

They both worked in the research department before Jon was made Head Archivist, and even though they definitely weren't close, they were definitely friendly. My Firm Belief is that Jon was the only one who took Tim seriously despite his more lax attitude, he saw his strong work ethic and his dedication and treated him accordingly. And Tim was the only one who listened to Jon, the only one who thought he had anything to add and took his suggestions.

I believe they were hired around the same time, and once they met there was a silent understanding that they were there for eachother. It was nice to just have someone in their corner in this new environment.

When Jon got promoted to Head Archivist, he was adamant about Tim being on his team, because he knew Tim would help get the results needed. [I have a whole, how everyone got assigned to the team timeline thought out but that's not why we're here]

Tim is the only member of his team who Jon doesn't think would have written Antonio Blake's statement as a joke to scare him. Which means he trusts him the most out of all of them. Which wouldn't be as important if he showed distaste for them equally, but he regards both Tim and Sasha highly, and only really seems to have an issue with Martin at this point. So why would he trust Tim to not have written it but not Sasha? Unless he's known him the longest and has reason to put that faith in him.

AND THEIR CONVERSATION AT THE BEGINNING OF MAG 33?? You're gonna listen to that, the first time we as the audience meet Tim, and tell me you don't hear how much these two care for eachother? Even when Jon starts getting upset/loud, he calms quickly for Tim, and doesn't let himself fully yell at him. He also leaves it up to Tim to fix the mistakes, an example of him trusting Tim's judgement and work. And Tim is so calm with him! The man keeps getting worked up and starting to get loud, but Tim stays calm and let's him self correct and say what he needs to before proceeding himself. He knows Jon is stressed and has a lot on his plate. He knows these mistakes needed to be discussed with him and corrected somehow, but he's still not going to force Jon to re-record the statements if he really doesn't want to, he's willing to find another solution. And then he leaves to go work on it so Jon can get back to recording the statement.

And Tim telling Jon he doesn't understand the filing system and Jon explaining it calmly to him, admitting he doesn't really get it either but that's how it is.

You also have to see my vision for how the S1 finale effects them. A traumatic experience where they were both scarred mentally and physically in the same ways. Something that should have brought them even closer, maybe finally made them feel comfortable being proper friends outside of work. But they both react to it SO differently. And that is the beginning of their downfall. That is the beginning of the end.

Because Jon spirals. He stops trusting everyone. He pushes them all away and starts crossing boundaries. HE SPIES ON TIMS HOUSE. And he can't even calm down long enough to see why this bothers his coworkers. Why this hurts Tim.

The beginning of S2 from Tim's perspective is awful. Your first friend in this workplace is overworking himself, throwing himself back into work the second he's cleared physically well enough to go back. But he clearly hasn't moved past it, and you can't blame him for that. Everyone copes differently, but then he turns on you. He stops trusting you, starts pushing you away, starts spying on you. Can you imagine how much that hurts? To have the first person in this terrifying new job who ever put their trust in you, who ever believed in you, to turn on you just when you need them the most.

THEY ARE SO FUCKING MESSY. GOD.

Anyway. I very well may be back with more JonTim thoughts as I continue to listen. But this is what I have for you today.

#tma #tma spoilers #tma season one #tma season 2 #jonathan sims #jon sims #tim stoker #timothy stoker #the magnus archives #archives gang #character thoughts #jontim #jonsims/timstoker #ramblings #Thoughts

[demonsandmischief]

Changes

A Chris Evans Imagine

Chris Evans x Female Reader

Soft Angst, Fluff

1.6K Words

-Changes-

Telling Chris you're pregnant doesn't go how either of you plan.

------

You were a nervous wreck, anxiously waiting for your husband, Chris Evans, to get done with his meeting in the upstairs office. You were sitting on your couch, the softest blanket pulled up to your chin. You started to doze.

Movement in the room woke you up, and you blinked, trying to come to your surroundings. You had slid on the couch until you were laying down, using the arm rest as a pillow.

Chris was in the kitchen. He grinned when he saw you were awake. He came closer.

"Hi, baby," he whispered, smoothing the hair out of your face. "Did you have a good nap?"

You nodded, that anxious knot never uncoiling in your stomach.

"How was your meeting?" you asked.

"Good," Chris confirmed with a nod. "I fly out for that shoot on Monday. It's going to be a busy few months."

Your lip wobbled unsteadily. You could feel each distinct thump of your heartbeat as it threatened to break out of your chest.

"What is it?" he asked, cupping your cheeks. "Something is bothering you. Was it your doctor's appointment today? I know they make you anxious. What did they say about you being nauseous?"

He picked up your arm, inspecting the bandage that was still wrapped from where the doctor had drawn blood.

"I'm pregnant," you blurted.

Chris froze.

"What?"

"That's why I've been so sick," you said. "They did blood work doing my appointment. I'm probably four weeks along."

Chris had a deep frown that creased his handsome features. You wished he would say something to ease the feelings of uncertainty that coursed through you.

"Did you know before you went today?"

You felt the knot in your throat, followed by the pressure of tears behind your eyes. You had wanted him to be excited, to comfort you during the uncertainty.

"I mean, my period has been late, but there are a lot of reasons why that could happen. I just thought I had a bug."

Chris nodded slowly.

"Please say something," you whispered. The tears you had been holding back dripped onto your cheeks.

"It's a lot," he mumbled. "We were just starting to build our lives together. And my job. My job isn't suited for me to be a father."

He shook his head, running his fingers through his hair.

"I'm going to be leaving for this movie shoot. I leave in five days Some of the scenes will have me out of the country." Chris sighed. He didn't see how this was going to work.

You inhaled shakily, smearing the tears with the back of your hand.

His phone vibrated in his pocket and he pulled it out.

"It's work. One of my meetings got moved up. We'll finish this conversation later." He watched you for another moment, but when he realized you had nothing else to say, he left.

You sobbed. This had to be your worst nightmare coming to life. You wanted him to be excited, to shower you with affection. Instead, he had just walked away.

---

Chris didn't come to bed that night, and he wasn't back in the morning, either. You got tired of waiting around. You needed fresh air and comfort.

You were hurt that he chose to walk away without resolving anything. You didn't have any energy left after not sleeping, not to mention you felt nauseous beyond belief.

Your mom's house was just outside of the city. She was surprised to see you when she opened the door.

"I didn't expect to see you here," she said, smiling that familiar smile. Most of the turmoil you had been facing eased at her presence.

She reached for you, wrapping you up in a tight squeeze.

She pulled back to look you over.

"What's wrong? Do you feel okay?" she asked. She could read you like a book.

You didn't feel like getting into it yet.

You shook your head. "I haven't been sleeping real well lately. It's nothing to be worried about, it's just-"

"It's life," she finished for you. She gave you a gentle smile. "I just cleaned and made the bed upstairs. Why don't you lay down for a little while? Are you in a rush to get back? We could do dinner tonight."

"That sounds great," you agreed.

She ushered you in, and you relaxed at the smell of your mom's home. You went up to the spare bedroom.

It was quiet. For a moment, you forgot everything that had happened.

You flipped on the TV. The soft talking soothed you as you got into bed. Your heavy heart and heavy head were weighing on you, and you fell asleep almost immediately.

You were just waking up when you heard someone walking up the stairs.

Your mom knocked, poking her head in before entering fully.

"Do you want to tell me why I just had to cover for you?" she asked, sitting on the bed next to you.

"What?" you asked, pushing yourself upright.

"Chris called me. He was looking for you. What's going on?"

You felt the familiar ache in your throat as tears burned your eyes.

"Oh, honey," your mom whispered. "Please don't cry. It'll be okay, whatever it is."

"I'm pregnant," you sobbed, dropping your head.

Your mom soothingly rubbed your back. "I can't imagine how you feel right now.

You explained everything. How nervous you were to tell him. How he didn't say anything. How he left.

You continue to cry, the deep painful wound you had been suppressing finally opening.

Your mom held you as you sobbed. Your throat ached, and you struggled to get enough air into your lungs.

"If you've never talked about kids, I can see how he feels. He's just as scared as you and doesn't know how to express it. That does not justify his actions in any case, but-"

She dried your tears with her sleeve.

"Why don't you call him? Tell him you decided to spend the night with me since you don't feel good, and that you'll go home tomorrow."

You nodded.

"And then I will make us some dinner. Okay?"

"I've been so nauseous," you admitted, sucking in a shaky breath. "Everything makes my stomach turn."

"I know just the thing," your mom smiled.

You sent Chris a text, ignoring the few he had sent you while you had napped. You told him you didn't feel very well so you were going to crash with your mom for the night. You turned off your phone, setting it on the nightstand.

You ended up piled on the couch with lots of blankets, ginger ale and chicken noodle soup. Your mom even made grilled cheese, and you were hungry enough that the nausea had disappeared for a while.

Your mom chattered your ear off about everything baby, and for the first time, you felt a little excited about being pregnant.

---

You stepped into your apartment the next day. You felt better, a little more clear-headed. You could hear Chris in the kitchen, and your heart started to pick up speed.

You hung up your coat and purse, before hesitantly walking towards him.

"Hi," you whispered.

"Hey," he said back. You found his expression to be unreadable.

You shifted a bit, before deciding to put away your stuff in the bedroom, giving you both the space you needed to come up with something to say.

You put all of your dirty clothes in the hamper before carrying it downstairs to the laundry room.

You were sorting, when you were startled.

"I made us some lunch," he said.

"Okay," you nodded. You started the washer, and followed him to the kitchen.

Chris had made a big meal, chicken with pasta.

"Thank you," you said when he served you a plate. You chose to sit on the stool against the large island, and he joins you.

You were hungry today, and the meal was satisfying despite the little bit of awkward silence.

"I'm sorry," he says finally.

"I was so nervous to tell you," you admitted. "But then I thought, Chris loves me unconditionally and would be excited to share this new chapter with me."

"Don't," he whispered. "Don't ever doubt my love for you."

"I get that you're unhappy, but you left me. You shut me out. I don't even know where you went, and I needed you."

You stood with your plate, placing it in the sink. You took in a shaky breath. You were so tired of crying, but the familiar feeling hit you full force.

"I'm sorry for leaving you when you needed me most. I should've been there for you, and I didn't mean to add to your fear. I just - I got scared. I am scared."

"You don't think I'm scared?" you sobbed, smearing your quickly falling tears with your hands.

He came over to you, finally. He wrapped you tightly in his arms, and you didn't protest. You gripped his t-shirt with your fists.

"I was so fucking worried when you left," he whispered, breathing a sigh of relief.

"Me too," you mumbled into his chest.

"This changes everything. I don't want to leave you for months on end, not when you're like this. I don't want to miss a single moment, and I don't know what to do."

You look up at him. He dried your tears with the pads of his thumbs. His touch was warm and comforting. You nuzzled against his hand.

"I'm going to cut back," Chris said. "I'll renegotiate some of my contracts, but my priority is you and our baby."

When he says our baby for the first time, you couldn't help but give a laugh of disbelief. He pulls you in close, a handsome smile of his own tugging at his lips. He kisses your forehead.

"I know you probably think I'm just saying this, but I'm really excited to have this baby with you."

You smiled, finding his pretty blue eyes. "Yeah?"

He confirmed with a nod, pressing his lips to yours. "Yeah. Excited, and scared shitless, but we'll make it work. We always do."

------------------Author's Note-------------------------

"Everything that you've ever dreamed of

Disappearing when you wake up

But there's nothing to be afraid of

Even when the night changes

It will never change me and you"

Happy almost March 🥺 hope you enjoyed this. Let me know what you think!

•read more of my angsty Chris Evans fics here

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•Buy me a coffee to let me know you enjoy my work.

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#Chris Evans #chris evans imagine #chris evans x reader #chris evans angst #chris evans x female reader

[icanseethefuture333]

could you do a ranking of who in nct 127 is most to least likely to date a woc, similarly to how you did for stray kids 👀

Who in NCT 127 is MTL to date a foreigner?

1. Jaehyun

2. Jungwoo

3. Mark

4. Johnny

5. Taeyong

6. Taeil

7. Yuta

8. WinWin

9. Doyoung

10. Haechan

The ranking is from left to right.

Jaehyun's reason for being most likely to date a foreigner is because he loves them honestly 🤣? He likes the attention and praise he gets ("JAMALLLL" 💀). Jaehyun could also feel more compatible with them. I heard "Idk they just hit differently" help??? He finds them extremely attractive. So the love is mutual lol. Jaehyun is pretty delulu when it comes to his foreign fanbase so he feels more confident dating a foreigner who’s also a poc.

Jungwoo's energy feels more shy? He's the type to stare at someone he'd find attractive and wouldn't want to approach them given his job position and everything. So if Jungwoo had a crush he'd most likely gaze at their beauty or be very respectful with his approach. He could behave like a gentleman and pull out chairs for someone, open doors, etc. "No, no I insist!" Jungwoo would keep his feelings a secret but if he were to see someone he liked more frequently and were possibly friends with them, he'd ask them politely if they'd like to go for coffee or something.

Mark I feel is more accustomed to being with just about any type of girl so I don't feel he has a specific preference, but he does have a type. I think out of everyone he is the most confident to ask a foreigner out. Mark is "understanding" of how foreign women are (*nene leakes voice* whatever that means). He could have a belief that: "Don't bother approaching woc if you're broke". 😭 I feel like Mark likes taking on the provider role or being the one who pays for things in a relationship. (Channeled song: Wanna Be A Baller by Lil Troy & Pimpin' All Over by Ludacris). He's immature in some aspects romantically but he'd be a fun fuck buddy basically.

Johnny relates more to foreigners than he does than Korean citizens. So he could date like a foreign poc or other foreign Asians that are similar to him. For example, First generation citizens would peak his interest because it would be a similar background to his. He could date mostly the "Suburban" type of poc. Johnny's dating history isn't as diverse as the others in comparison but he is open to it!

Taeyong is leaning towards the idea but not entirely if it makes sense. The desire is there but he’s also aware that being in a relationship with someone who’s not from the same background as him would be a difficult path to pursue. He could know people who are mixed or in interracial relationships possibly? As in half Korean or friends his age who have a partner who’s not the same race, so hearing their experiences makes him very understanding of that and he would want to approach someone who’s not the same race as him without as much knowledge as possible. I find this response to be the best in my opinion. It seems that Taeyong would want to be educated about his partner and their culture. He isn’t a “I don’t see color” type of person, he acknowledges it and would want to make an effort by doing things right.

Taeil is more of the person who needs to be friends with someone first before entering a relationship. He could be very open with how he communicates and speaks his mind. I don’t feel he would have an issue complimenting someone or telling them he’s attracted to them. I don’t believe he has a preference honestly. It’s whoever he is attracted to at the moment that he’d date.

If the opportunity presented itself then yes, Yuta would date a foreigner. I feel it would be more of a fling though. He’s not interested in settling down at the moment. Yuta prefers to see how things unfold naturally and doesn’t date with the intention of a committed relationship. His mindset is like “If I fall in love, cool, if I don’t, that’s cool too “. He’s more free spirited when it comes to love.

WinWin could be in a relationship with someone already 😭? Or this just means he’s dated a foreigner before? He doesn’t think much of it. He’s romantic so any person who intrigues him, WinWin would be happy regardless. If there’s a connection he’d be willing to explore that dynamic.

Doyoung is too concerned with financial matters to date a foreigner. He believes his fanbase would react negatively to it? His image is more important to him and would feel dating a foreigner would damage that (yikes…). I believe he’d also be worried they’d only want to be with him for his money.

Haechan is more traditional. He’d want to date someone with similar values and from the same background as him. It’s not something that interests him or has ever crossed his mind. His intentions are to marry someone who’s also Korean and plans to pass down family customs.

#nct #nct 127 #nct tarot #kpop tarot #celebrity readings

[bloomlily101]

Home

"John Evans, don't you want to go home?"

It was one of many unforgettable days on Europa. I had just finished another round of testing. For now, it seemed as though my mission wasn't going to end any time soon. Looking over at the pink mermaid who stared at me with saucer eyes, staying longer did not seem like a bad idea.

"When I came here, I knew it would be a long time before I returned so yes, I want to go home but at the same time..."

"At the same time?"

"I don't miss it."

"Really? Why?" Her question sounded like a high pitch squeak, almost like a dolphin's. It was adorable.

"Compared to Earth, this planet... this kingdom that you're ruling... is amazing. I prefer it here honestly."

I prefer being here next to you.

"I'm glad you like it here but... don't you have someone waiting for you on Earth? I never hear you speak about them."

It was a common discussion among space colonizers to talk about their family, to show pictures of their newborn, their kid graduating or maybe to show off how attractive their mate was. In a way, it kept us tethered to reality. It was those invisible bonds that kept us sane while working a thankless and dangerous job.

"To be honest, not really."

Joining MEARTH and the Space Corps was just like the military; there were many reasons why people would join. Some do it for science, some are zealous patriots, others do it to make their families proud and most do it as a last-ditch option. I will not be elaborating on my reason but it definitely was not entirely because it was my dream.

"That must be terribly lonesome "

"Not really. I got to meet you."

On Earth, there were few who understood me and even fewer who loved me. Yet somehow, just planets away, there was someone who did. It's baffling. Baffling yet so tantalizing. She was always so close but always so far. As I leaned into the kiss, she leaned back with a teasing smile.

"I have to go, John Evans. I have duties to fulfil."

"Then this place again, tomorrow?" I asked her. She nodded, smiling as usual, eyes closed with her corners barely tilting upwards.

Meeting you is the only thing keeping me sane on this planet but it was driving me up walls I didn't know possible.

"Promise."

With that, she slipped into the water and disappeared into the dark ammonium depths. Was she playing a game? Was she baiting me? I could never really tell with her. My feelings are genuine and she knows as much but recently I've heard conflicting stories.

Many praise me for having such a close relationship with such a closed off and distant monarch. They say that they cannot understand her. No one truly ever knows what she's thinking. In a species known as a happy one, she rarely smiles.

I would not believe they were talking about Rise but in way, they were right. It is difficult to get a read on her but that didn't make her antisocial... just different. Our cultures were different but it never became a conversation stopper for us. Maybe, all we needed was more time for our species to understand each other.

________

Swimming below, past the cliffs, there was an orange siren waiting for her. This siren had as many fins as tattoos. Her hair was as fiery as the lava in a vulcanes, her skin much the same too. She was intimidating though it never seemed to bother her. It was the reason why Rose picked her.

"Why do you waste your time with this human, Your Highness?"

She stopped in her tracks and looked back at her loyal steed with a smile, "Because understanding your enemy is the only way to protect yourself from them," Her face turned dark, the light leaving her eyes as a scowl worked its way to her mouth, "I don't trust these humans. They're too emotional... too inquisitive... too greedy. It's only a matter of time before they show their true colours."

"Then you should've gotten rid of them when you had the chance."

Rose shook her head with a smile, "They came in peace, I cannot betray our own beliefs, Nahla."

The conversation came to standstill as they entered open waters. It stayed so until the hazy lights of their city to view. It was now dusk. Soon it'd be time for the evening service.

"I'll do anything to protect this city. To protect my people. What about you?" Rose asked her companion, looking back at her. Nahla could not read the expression on her face. This, however, was usual but what wasn't was the solemn atmosphere she had created.

"My will and purpose are to live and die for you, My Priestess.  There'd be no greater honour." Nahla recited like a prayer.

Rose smiled, tilting the soldier's face upward to meet her scheming smile, "Then let's set our plan in motion."

#mermaid #fantasy #space australia #humans are space orcs #original writing #short story #lore #sci fi writing

[doe-eyed-fool]

Fallen {Chapter Twenty Seven}

Alastor x (Fem)Reader

Warning: Hypnosis, Kidnapping

Living with Alastor was a dream. Getting to wake up every morning to the person you love, truly was a wonderful thing. Getting Alastor to sleep though...was the hard part.

He told me he rarely ever slept, which confused me beyond belief. How did he function? I know he was a powerful overlord, but even they needed rest, didn't they? Needless to say, I was insistent on getting him to sleep.

But of course he was just as insistent on not sleeping. 'I don't need it' 'I'll be fine', he'd always say. But I'm not taking no for an answer. He may seem like he doesn't need it, but I fear one day he might snap because of it...worse than he already has that is-

"Alastor, you are getting in that bed and sleeping, even if I drag you by your ears!" I say firmly. Alastor looked down at me with a cocky grin. "Oh? And how do you plan on reaching up that high, darling?"

"You calling me short?" I raise an eyebrow.

"I'm not calling you tall." He teases.

"That's it." I mutter. "Either you go to bed right now or..." I pause to think, then a smirk formed on my face. "Or you're not allowed to touch me for a whole week. No hugging, no hand holding, and no kisses of any sort!"

"What...You're not serious." Alastor narrows his eyes. I cross my arms and look him dead in the eye. "Try me, deer boy."

Alastor's eye twitched. "Bold of you, threatening the radio demon like that...Just how do you intend on stopping me?"

I give a small shrug before turning and walking towards our shared bedroom. "I don't know. But if you do try, consider it raised to three weeks. And, I'll just ignore you for the whole duration."

I stop in my tracks and look back at him. "And if you still feel bold enough do it anyway, I'll move back to the hotel."

"Y/n!"

I giggle and keep walking, my grin widened when I heard him trail after me. I ignore him trying to reason with me as I walk to the master bathroom to get changed. "I won't take anything but "yes dear" for an answer, Alastor." I call from the other side of the door.

I then heard a groan from him, silence, and then a small-

"Yes dear..."

"Good boy!" I say as I finish getting dressed. I step out in a large shirt and pajama shorts. "Was that so hard?" I ask walking towards the bed. I could practically hear Alastor rolling his eyes.

"You should be happy." I say, setting on the soft bed. "You get to snuggle with me all night." I open my arms and made grabby hands, beckoning him towards me.

Alastor couldn't help but let out an airy laugh. With a snap of his fingers, he was changed into more comfortable clothes. Just a simple sleep shirt and sweatpants.

I had to admit, it was odd seeing him in clothes like this. He always looked so dapper, and now he was wearing what some other ordinary person would wear.

He joined me in bed, I didn't hesitate to cuddle up closer to him. "You're tense." I say quietly. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong, dear." Alastor said in the same hushed tone. "Come on, you can tell me. Is something bothering you?" I ask. Alastor sighs softly. "I guess I'm just not use to this. Especially sharing a bed with someone else."

"That's understandable." I start. "You've never dated anyone before, this is a big step for you. But you don't have anything to worry about. I'm not going to try anything."

Alastor turns on his side to face me. "And that doesn't upset you?" He asks. "I never thought to consider how you might feel about becoming more intimate."

I smile and place a hand on his cheek gently. "Alastor, I want us both to be comfortable in this relationship. If you don't want to do something like that, then we don't have to. I'll be fine, it's not like sex is the most important thing in a relationship."

"I know but, I'd like to make you as satisfied as possible. Whatever it may be. Are you truly ok with this?" He asked. "Yes Alastor. If you want to keep things like how they are, I will be fine with it. Or, if you ever decide to make that decision, I'll be open to it. Like I said, we both should feel comfortable with each other." I lean forwards and kiss the tip of his nose.

Alastor hums and wraps his arms around me, he then hides his face in my chest. "Perhaps...when we get married, I'll think about it. I'm nothing, if not traditional."

I laugh softly, my heart skipping a beat at the thought of someday being married to Alastor. To someone who actually loved me back. It would be nice to know what that feels like...

"Goodnight dear." Alastor says quickly, seemingly embarrassed by what he said. I giggle and ran my hand through his hair. "Goodnight, Alastor."

We met up with Mimzy, just as she wanted about a week after that. The lounge we went to was beautiful, just as, if not more impressive than the one me and Alastor went to. Only this one, had a more vintage look to it.

It was like something right out of the nineteen-twenties, right down to the people attending the lounge. Though, we wouldn't stay in the line of sight for much longer, as we quickly and quietly made our way to one of the private rooms.

Mimzy greeted us with a hug each. "You two look stunning!" She compliments before handing us a drink. Alastor had told me about this lounge's specific look and how others would dress appropriately to match with the vibe. So, we did the same.

I noticed that with every outfit Alastor has given me has been in the color red. Then again, that was one of his staples. I guess he just liked seeing me in that color.

My face heated slightly as I remembered Cherri's similar thoughts as she gave me that red lingerie set. I dismiss the thought before taking a seat next to Alastor. The three of us talked about nothing in particular, laughing about many stories of Alastor and Mimzy's past.

After a while, I had to excuse myself. Mimzy pointed me in the direction of the restrooms. I got up and left. Afterwards I washed my hands and dried them off, as I was leaving I was stopped by a woman. I could tell she was a bit tipsy by the way her words slurred as she talked to me.

"Heeey, can I get your thoughts about something?" She asks. "Uh..." Before I could get a word out, she holds her phone up to my face. "My friend is saying this dress is fucking white and gold. She's lost her damn mind, right?"

I didn't want to risk drawing much attention, so I just went along with it and looked at the screen. "Uh, yeah. The dress, it's-"

My words were cut off as the screen went from the dress to a screen of red and black swirls. And just like that I was hit with a wave of dizziness, I felt my legs give out, but I was caught before I could fall.

The world around me went extremely blurred before finally going completely dark. Before I could loose consciousness all together, I heard muffled voices, as if they were speaking under water.

"Yeah, I got her. We're leaving now." It was that same girl, only this time she was speaking normally.

'Good. Make sure that radio prick doesn't see you. I don't want this plan being fucked up again.'

"Yes boss."

Then all went quiet.

#hazbin hotel #alastor x reader #alastor #hazbin hotel alastor #hypnosis #non con hypnosis #kidnapping

[hiswitchcraft]

i think the fight, flight or freeze response happens when it comes to finally practicing (newly or otherwise). *how do we start a spell?? so many options (freeze).* idk

My brain is being funky about the way this is worded but I believe what's happening here is you're saying that when you try to practice, like do a spell specifically for example, you get freaked out and often freeze and don't do it.

If I'm understanding correctly that sounds like you're mentally getting overwhelmed by all the options, which I can understand, and I think I can help!

How do I Finally Start Practicing? It's So Overwhelming.

So my number one tips going into this are going to be take it one step at a time, know yourself, and write it down. I think these are great tips for any witch but especially if you get overwhelmed mentally by practicing. These tips will guide you if you make them your default. I'll explain what I mean.

By take it one step at a time, I mean you don't need to figure out what you wanna do or all the answers to how to do it immediately or over one day. You can tackle the questions over and over again and maybe you only get a little farther each time until you do it. That's okay.

By know yourself, I mean understand who you are, what you like, and what you believe. I know that's a bit of a tall order but it kind of comes with the territory and there's just so many topics encompassed by witchcraft that you have to have preferences and figure out your beliefs to know what to do. To a large extent the beliefs part will come with time, and actually practicing things like magic and experimenting, which I'm gonna help you do!

And by write it down, I mean take notes. This doesn't have to be a fancy grimoire or book of shadows, it can be in a binder or a google doc or a tumblr blog or all of the above. But it needs to happen because then you'll have an overview of things like cleansing methods, and patterns that show your preferences will start to form. Very helpful when you wanna do divination but don't even know what method to use or wanna do a spell but oh, you need to cleanse your space first, how do you even do that? Hopefully you get the idea.

Now I am gonna go over how to tackle spell work. I think you can work up to that. But first I have a suggestion!

If finally practicing feels overwhelming it's probably because you're putting a lot of pressure on yourself to do something meaningful and to do it right. With love, cut that shit out! All that matters is that you start and do your best. Cutting that shit out is easier said than done, I know, but there's no reason for all that stress. Start small. "Finally starting" doesn't need all the fuss. It could be going on a nature walk. You've got this.

For a bit bigger stuff, I'm gonna give some examples and also show how the tips I explained apply. I'm gonna use doing divination and spell work as examples because that's what I specialize in.

So for divination, there's a lot of what's and how's there. What method do I use? What do I ask? How many cards do I pull? That can be overwhelming for sure. Here's how I would answer those, whatever method you like! Do some research and start writing down the different methods you like or already know. Then you have a reference, and you can try a few methods over a long period of time if you like. What do you ask? Whatever is bugging you. Seriously, like you can just vibe check mundane things like a job interview. Say you go for cartomancy for example, because once again that's what I'm familiar with, think about something that's been bothering you and pull a card. It can just be one if you don't know or don't wanna find or make a spread! You can also always pull another card or two later as well.

See how we just tackled one issue at a time in steps, created a reference to help the overwhelm by writing it down, and made a decision based on you what you like? All the tips!

Hopefully that makes sense and I'm gonna show you how to do it with an even bigger thing like spell work.

First, you're gonna have to figure out your intention before you get to prepping the spell. You've got a few options here. You could pick an intention like protection or luck, especially if it's your first spell or if you just wanna do a spell like right now. You could also think about goals you have in your life or things you want to improve and find a simple spell for that. I'm thinking something like attracting prosperity, friends, a good partner, a good job, you get the idea. Which one of those you pick and how exactly you approach this is going to depend on if it's your first spell, where you're at in your practice, what you're comfortable with, etc. There's no shame in doing simple protection, luck, etc, sort of spells for your first 10 or 20 or 50 spells. You can always think it over for a good while and reach out to me if you're not sure if you're ready for a certain spell, if you need help finding a spell or deciding if it's good, what you're looking for, etc.

Now onto the prep. What exactly you need to do before a spell is gonna depend on the spell and the practitioner. You may not do some of these things (especially for the simple sort of spell I have in mind here) or there may be things a witch does to prep for a spell that I don't mention here. This is just a quick list of things to consider based on my practice and how I approach witchcraft and teaching you guys.

The things I have in mind are cleansing, charging, grounding, and warding. I usually recommend people know how to do these these things before diving into spell work, but you don't absolutely have to especially because we're likely talking about a small, simple spell here. Anyways I know what I just said is a lot but I'm gonna tell you the benefits of each thing and then we're gonna break it down like we did with the divination stuff.

Cleansing gets all the stagnant and or negative energy out of something so that it won't... be in your way or interfere with your spell work so to speak. There's some kinds of magic where you may not want to cleanse, but I think cleansing applies here.

Charging gives you an extra boost of energy through your ingredients, tools, etc, to help your spell work and keep you from accidentally exhausting yourself.

Grounding has always been hard for me to explain but it's like when you relax and focus and "ground" your body, mind and energy. It helps with focus and also keeps you from getting too tired.

Warding is creating layers of energy around a person or space to keep out things like negative energy, other's magic, etc.

I don't wanna get into how to do any of these things here because each could be its own post that's twice as long as this one but my new witch resources google doc has some links that may help you figure this stuff out. You're also welcome to message me for specific resources/explanations on this stuff.

Anyways, those are the benefits of those four practices. Ultimately you'll have to consider which ones you want to do, when, and why, but it's a start and a reference at least.

Now you've made some progress. Let's say some time has passed and you've approached it a few times and you've got an idea of what kind of spell you wanna do, and how you wanna prep, what method do you even use to do that prep? That's a pretty overwhelming decision.

I'll use cleansing as an example. You know I'm gonna tell you to write it down first and foremost! Write down some methods for cleansing. Do you have the supplies to do any of them? Do any of them sound easier or better to you? Narrow it down. And remember, take your time, you don't have to do all your homework and figure out all your preferences in one day! Eventually you'll have some methods for the kind(s) of spell prep you've decided to do already laid out and maybe you've picked your favorites. Feel free to write your favorite methods and ideas down too, in case you're forgetful.

There's one more thing, I know it's a lot but just hold on, that I want you to consider! And that is spell timing. You don't even have to think about this one but I wanna cover all my bases and I think this step might have some benefits for someone who gets overwhelmed. That mainly being if deciding when you wanna try to do a spell overwhelms you, you can narrow it down too! Then you've got it on the calendar and out of the way and don't just have to pick a day randomly. You've got the decisions done ahead of time which always helps me when I've overwhelmed.

Spell timing is basically timing a spell depending on things like the moon phase or other events to give it more power. People time spells based on times of day using numerology, the days of the week, moon phases, astrological events, days of religious or personal significance, and so on. I think moon phases are probably the easiest and most approachable for beginners so that's what I'd suggest and that's what I'm gonna use as my example.

Personally I like this chart by @orriculum for basic moon phase correspondences. This point is pretty simple. Will using timing make it less overwhelming for you to do a spell? And if so, you should already know what spell you wanna do, so pick a moon phase based on that intention. There you go!

Now you've figured out your intention and spell idea, favorite methods for preparation, and when you're gonna do the spell already decided! You've done it. Don't forget that you can tackle each one of these points one step at a time. It might take you a few weeks of thinking to decide what kind of spell you wanna do, then research, then what kind of prep work, then writing stuff down, you get the idea. Tackle it in steps! There's no shame in that. We all get tired and overwhelmed sometimes. Hopefully this makes that a lil easier!

#witch #witchblr #witchcraft #witches #witchy #witch tip #witch tips #witchy tip #witchy tips #beginner witch #baby witch #new witch #baby witch tips #new witch tips #divination #spell #spells #spell work #your first spell #first spells #beginner spells #practicing when you're overwhelmed #overwhelmed witchcraft

[angorwhosebabyisthis]

on the one hand i'm like, i know there are some pretty obvious reasons Powerful Cosmic Big Good Beings(tm) in fiction tend to in fact be some of the worst bastards in a series, and my sentiment toward them ends up being I'm Going to Fucking Fight You Actually.

namely: they usually have enough power to do some absolutely horrific stuff--through action, inaction, or both--on a massive scale. like full-on 'pokemon villain you have to stop from causing the apocalypse at the climax of the game, because they've decided they have the right to make that call and have gotten their hands on the means to do it.' and often the call that the Big Good makes is portrayed as the right, justified, well-informed thing, which inevitably ends up revealing some pretty disturbing beliefs on the part of the creators.

often they mean well and just haven't thought it through, but a lot of people are operating on some real pokemon villain shit that they haven't questioned yet because it hasn't come up in a context extreme enough to follow to its logical conclusion. 'if you could press a button to kill every trauma survivor in the world to end their suffering, would you?' is not a situation most people will ever be in, and put in those terms they might realize how monstrous that would be and say no. but they might have the philosophy in the back of their head somewhere, influencing their beliefs and interactions with the world, that survivors would be better off dead than traumatized but alive, and that someone else could ever have the right to make that decision for them.

speaking of which. a major reason i have mixed feelings about the ending of sdmi is that the new 'happy' timeline is portrayed with a deep, creeping sense of loss and unease, which seems intentional; otherwise it would just be incredibly upsetting and i would straight up hate it with a passion. whereas i am REALLY bothered by the fact that the nova entity is treated as a kind, benevolent guiding force to lead the heroes where they need to go, and not the single most evil motherfucker in the show surpassed only by the nibiru entity.

she directly, intentionally orchestrated the genocide of an entire timeline, up to and including literally erasing them from existence. she manipulated a bunch of children into doing this without telling them what would happen. the gang are the sole survivors of the murder of every single person they ever knew, and they will have to live the rest of their lives knowing the nova entity used their hands to do it. the only real way she was 'better' than the nibiru entity here was that she decided to cleanse the world with fire so she could make some new people to be happy, instead of ending the possibility for happy people to exist ever again.

like. the nova entity would actually make a fantastic villain played as a foil to the nibiru entity. god damn.

eldritch cosmic Big Good characters are usually treated as some kind of, like, force of nature that arbitrates what the ideal world would look like, and maybe just needs some help from the heroes to make it happen. at worst, they're treated as being too eldritch and above the understanding of mortals, mutual or otherwise, to be held accountable for the decisions that they make. at worst in that case, the heroes are frustrated with them for not being much help, but then things just move along and that stops being considered a Relevant Issue to Address. maybe, maybe the results of those actions are treated as a bad thing, but the person actually responsible gets off squeaky clean.

the consequences of the noventity ending the world are unnerving and bittersweet at best, and the uncomfortable question is left in the air of whether the gang might have done things differently knowing this would be the outcome. the noventity herself is a benevolent hero who saved them all in the end.

and like. that's not how it works. if you're a person making decisions, you are a person making decisions. you are accountable for those decisions. there are a lot of really, really interesting stories to be told exploring the nature of that dynamic with '''higher''' beings who really are working on a different scale than us--with maybe a genuinely deeper understanding of a lot that's going on in the world, just from time, experience, and capacity to hold and process information--and still don't get to decide what's best for us.

i am both fascinated by the potential for stories like that and really frustrated by the way they're handled in fiction, and the way that plays out tends to treat them as Not Actually People and therefore Not Actually Characters, which means it's easy for them and the bullshit they do to blend into the narrative unless you deliberately stop and turn the spotlight on them. so i do.

on the other hand, it is really funny to me that in practice this means my response to Big Good Entity characters is consistently just

#sdmi #scooby doo: mystery incorporated #sdmi nibiru entity #sdmi nova entity #genocide cw #anti survivor cw #SDMItag #on the flipside i also really enjoy taking characters who are supposed to be Mindless Eldritch Single-Minded Incarnations of Pure Evil #and being like no i think you are a Rancid Guy (gender neutral) using that as a cover for being Rancid #what's up with that. bring me my microscope #but this post is long enough already so that's for another time #long post #SDMIcrit tag #also including #LL tag #LL entity #LL crit tag #because it is very much relevant to that too #me hauling the lorien entity and the nova entity by the ear: GET BACK HERE

[queen-mihai]

Hi I know that this may seem out of place. But at what point in your life did you begin to feel stable/adult. I often times have conflicted my feelings of gender discomfort or writing with these beliefs. Because of this I have abandoned myself to a point where a stranger now lives in my body. Have these thoughts ever bothered you?

Hmm🤔

This is an interesting question. I suppose it's rather gradual. And there's never a feeling really of being "there".

You always feel kinda like you're faking it in a way. People really are telling the truth that nobody knows what they're doing. Everybody's making it up as they go along

And one thing that we all eventually find is that no one can do this alone. I work as an engineer. I work in the field with machines that don't move, meaning I have to go to it instead of it coming to me.

That means that I not only have to be an expert at math and designing and troubleshooting, but also logistics. I need to figure out schedules and times and make phone calls so people know who I am and what I'm doing and if it's going to affect them.

But like that didn't happen suddenly all at once. The reason jobs measure *years* of experience, is that it genuinely takes *years* to get used to the type of things adults have to do just getting around.

My boss doesn't want to have to come pick me up to bring me to work. The regional manager I work for would suffer if every time I ran into a problem I came asking him what to do. I wouldn't have gotten this job if I hadn't been doing the stuff I do here for years already. But I didn't start by doing this much. I started in my career just kind of accepting assignments that needed to be traveled for. They might have come once every 6 months in my early career. But I jumped at them because I wanted to get out of the office and I thought that part of the job was fun.

Eventually employers got used to that idea and they sent me out more. "Oh Mihai will take care of that. She loves driving around. And with her doing that, we can have some of the other engineers do something else"

Eventually that grew into enough that I could add it to my resume and really take it on as part of whatever job I got next. Etc etc etc until the job I have now doesn't HAVE an office; I'm pretty much forced to demand a company vehicle, and I spend practically half my life living in hotels.

Regarding feeling stable, that's more a job of meditating and feeling good about being *you*.

I don't feel like the world is stable. I don't feel like people's opinions of me are stable. The political, corporate, financial, and climate world is unstable. But I know who I am, and how I make decisions. I know I'm always going to be honest about how I feel, if I am proud of my work or if I made mistakes, and I'll always try to communicate. I know I work really best alone, but I love being around people. I know I'm a leader and people tend to do what I do, so I try to do the right thing always. That's what makes me feel stable. I'm stable in myself, no matter how unstable the world is around me. And that consistency of personhood provides an anchor from which other people can latch on and help find themselves too. (Because you're not me, but you can use me to find what similarities and differences there are between us, and thus, paint a clearer picture of your own personal image)

I don't know how much I can help with the "abandoning yourself" part.

Part of what hurt me previously was being involved in a very destructive relationship. Once I left that relationship, it became much easier to construct *me*. Maybe that's not what you have going on, but it may be worthwhile to take a look at your environment and see if there's something making you feel like you can't grow into the person you want to be.

In any case I wish you well. And I hope you find your place. What I can say is that there's no finish line; there's no race; there's not even a path. There's just decisions you make every day. They're all important and none of them are important. But what IS important is that you see that you're not waiting to start your story. You're in the middle of it right now. Please know that you are loved, and very cool, and I especially appreciate you for sending such an interesting ask 🥰

Peace ✌️ ❤️

[is-the-snake-video-cute]

So for the sake of writing/possible education, are there any well known common shorthands for, 'this is a awful snake enclosure why, why would you why?" I hear heat rocks are really bad, though it used to be pretty common.

(As an example, in real life a lot of small animal cages say they're fine for small animals. Most are in fact terrible for the small animals they're advertising. For example, things like advertising Gerbils for plastic cages, when Gerbils will chew though plastic quite easily, and escape. Theres not enough actual floorspace, ect. So I was just sorta curious if the snake world had similar, where certain products are sold/advertised for snakes/reptiles, but You Absolutely Do Not Want To Get Them. )

Great question!!

A few "this enclosure is bad" shorthands (you can still find most of these in practically any pet store):

Heat rocks, like you mention. They're incredibly dangerous - basically just unregulated heat sources that your snake has direct access to.

Red lights. These come from old misinformation that snakes can't see the color red and therefore won't be bothered by a bright red light beaming directly down into their enclosure. The snakes can see the light, they're usually too bright, and your snake absolutely does not need a nightlight.

Aspen used as a catch-all substrate. Nothing wrong with aspen for the right snakes, but it is not right for all snakes. Aspen in a ball python enclosure is a recipe for disaster.

Enclosures from chain pet stores (for adult snakes over like 3 feet long). The most common pet snakes thrive in enclosures that are at least 4x2x2, a 120 gallon equivalent. Chain pet store reptile enclosures max out at around 50 gallons. All snakes need an enclosure that is long enough for them to stretch fully out along one wall, at minimum.

Half-logs as the only hides. Snakes need hides that are enclosed on three sides to feel safe and secure, and half-logs are just way too open and exposed.

Unregulated heat sources. Whether you're using heat mats, radiant heat panels, ceramic heat emitters, light-producing bulbs, it doesn't matter - everything needs to be regulated with a thermostat!

Bonus round: some "there are serious husbandry errors occurring here" shorthands:

Feeding live. I know some snakes are picky (believe me, I know), but I promise, I've been doing this for decades and I've worked with hundreds of snakes and I've never met one I couldn't get on frozen/thawed. That includes everything from picky ball pythons to wild snakes that couldn't be released for whatever reason, every snake will take f/t eventually. It's infinitely safer and more humane.

Moving the snake to feed. This comes from a mistaken belief that a snake that's fed in its enclosure will bite. Total malarkey! In fact, in my experience with rescue snakes who were fed separately before I got them, it's the complete opposite! Moving the snake makes them associate being picked up with food, and it also increases the chances the snake will become stressed and regurgitate their meal. To avoid mistaken feeding bites, just tap-train your snake - lightly stroke their side with a hook or a finger before picking them up so they'll learn the signal and know it's handling time.

Asking basic husbandry questions AFTER purchasing the snake. I'm not talking about more complex topics, like "how long do I handle my snake for the first time" or "how do I deal with a suddenly picky eater?" I'm talking about the absolute basics, like "what temperature gradient does my snake need" or even "do I need to give a snake a water bowl." This is stuff you need to know before you bring your snake home! Research is super important before buying a reptile.

The trend of keepers calling snakes "assholes" for failing to read basic snake body language and getting bitten as a result. Most snakes are 100% clear with their intentions before they bite you. I can't count the times I've met people who called their baby tree boas "assholes" for acting like baby tree boas.

#not a rating #snake husbandry

[anticonspiracist]

Okay so one of the reasons you say conspiracy theorism is bad it's because it's anti Semitic. Now i don't have cultural experience of anti semitism (I'm from India) but of course have historical reference... I don't get it.

You've said that believing a small group of powerful people are controlling things is anti Semitic because that's what people believed about the Jews that then led to the holocaust but that seems like a bit of a massive stretch to me.

So, why is conspiracism so bad?

Just because you think it's "a bit of a massive stretch" doesn't mean it's not real and harmful. So to answer your last question, once again, all conspiracy theories that require a shadowy group to be "pulling the strings" are antisemitic.

I wonder if you do, indeed, have historical reference? What's your historical reference for antisemitism? The Holocaust? What else? Do you know about the antisemitism part of nearly every political party platform in Europe in the late 1800s? Do you know about the periodic pogroms that were instituted against Jews whenever an "other" was necessary for someone to solidify their power? Do you know about the Spanish Inquisition, or do you just joke about how no one expects it? I got an ask similar to this when shit-larries-say was still up, from a Spaniard who claimed that there wasn't antisemitism in their country. Ah, yes, because for a few hundred years their country tried its very best to murder every Jew. That's the Spanish Inquisition. And when they couldn't find the Jew that they'd put on trial in absentia, they burned them in effigy.

Do you know about the bubonic plague outbreak in Europe in the mid-14th century, and how some places blamed Jews and said they poisoned the wells so they just ... murdered them?

Do you ... know what led to the Holocaust? Do you know that it wasn't just the industrial murder of Jews (and Roma, and Poles, and and and)? Do you know that it was stripping them of their citizenship, making their marriages to non-Jews illegal, offering them the opportunity to immigrate to Palestine but they had to leave all of their belongings behind and, because Hitler was so reasonable, they would get a tiny portion of it back? And WHY? WHY the Jews? This is the question my students always ask because until they get to me they haven't had a teacher who knows the answer because it isn't taught. Why the Jews? Because people need someone to blame. They need a scapegoat. And in the Christian world, Jews are "other." They don't believe the same things. They have a different world view. They hang onto traditions that Christians don't understand. So when something bad happens that can't be explained, they just ... blame the people they can't explain. "THEY did it!" They make up stories to justify their harsh (and murderous, usually) treatment of these others. To make themselves feel better about the bad thing happening, they fashion Jews into evil beings who are always doing evil things and trying to hurt the non-Jews. And it works! It works because of people like you, thinking that's it's a "stretch" to associate antisemitic thoughts and actions with antisemitism.

So no, it's not "a bit of a massive stretch" to see continued belief in some shadowy group behind the scenes "pulling the strings" to enact sinister plans and say "hey hold on, that's antisemitic."

But maybe you're a kid, not a full-grown adult with the internet who should therefore know better, so if that's the case, I'm sorry for being harsh. Below is a 15-minute video I made explaining how antisemitism is inherent to conspiracy theorism, and then a 2-hour podcast episode I recorded with aimmyarrowshigh, a Jewish fandom friend (whom I'm not tagging because she doesn't need to see this bullshit). So, you know, educate yourself.

P.S. Your country has had Jews living in it for a very very very very very long time (thousands of years). Jews have faced antisemitism in India. Have you bothered to learn about it?

#antisemitism #holocaust #conspiracy theories #all conspiracy theories are the same #all conspiracy theorists are the same #this type of ask leads me to lose a little faith in humanity #IT'S 2022 WHY ARE PEOPLE STILL DENYING THAT ANTISEMITISM EXISTS?

[gogolstoelicker]

Hello love <3. Can I request Nikolai Gogol MC? Love u so much

Riddle, Azul & Vil with a Gogol!MC

note: I LOVE GOGOL SO MUCH CAN U TELL😍😍 WHEN I FIRST SAW HIM, I JUST FELL HEAD OVER HEELS, GIGGLING AND BLUSHING AND KICKING MY LEGS WHENEVER HE APPEARED

side note:why is writing his description kind of hard

You're sadistic and love to speak in great theatrics, having the tendency to pose questions as "quizzes". Those quizzes are oftentimes rhetorical threats. When fighting, you expressed great joy in fighting and tormenting your opponents.

You had hinted that your eccentric persona may or may not be real. That the side of you feels no remorse when doing evil acts is just as real as your other side that is feeling guilty, claiming to want to soar as free as birds do.

Riddle:

Azul:

the worse at tolerating you

everytime u appear, he cried a little on the inside and just silently wished for u to leave him alone and leave

its like u can read his mind bc u started making quizzes abt the exact same thing he's feeling

and honestly? u probably saw all of his rules and scheduled life to be quite dull

you're a free soul, seeing them bounded to rules probably got the gears in ur head moving

so guess who's the little devil going around in heartslabyul telling students to break the rules or make at least one student to break the rules once a day?🤗🤗🤗

cater and trey trying to stop u because they don't want to die:😫😫

keyword: trying. it did not work

riddle could not handle u at all

straight up tried to ban u from the dorm

probably knocked on his door at 3am to play some random board game too

he go to school the next day with eyebags bc of u

now he is determined to ban u from the dorm

well not that it can stop u anyway

enjoy the cat and mouse chase ig?

smile and nod yall, just smile and nod

well he dealt with floyd so he can tolerate u here and there

but if u do smth like accidentally chased his customer away from ur pranks? oh he's coming for that ass

u prolly don't like his contracts💀since it's kind of bounding someone to smth

stomping ur way like🤬🤬🤬

probably tried to pull him out of work with pranks too and he is SICK and TIRED of it

he just wants to work💔pls💔

he wants the money pls stop distracting him💔

probably a #1 supporter to destroying the contracts

not even to free the students, its mostly for personal reasons

ok maybe a little bit of wanting to free the students too but its mostly u wanting to destroy the contracts bc it goes against ur beliefs💀

and u won't really care usually well more like u can't do anything to everyone and force ur beliefs on them BUT

but since you're kind of involved with azul and ur friends are asking u to destroy the contracts, what can u do amirite😘😘

azul:

Vil:

honestly? he can tolerate you better too🙏

all bc of how he's near rook most of the times that he tolerates u best

u, the menace, obviously noticed this and used it to your fullest advantage

vil is tolerating you? well he can surely tolerate THIS too🤗 *pulls vil into ur overcoat or smth idk*

vil almost flipping u when u disappeared with ur ability

him frantically checking his appearance

finds out he looks just fine🤨u and that ability of yours honestly🙄🙄

he does mind ur pranks and had asked u to tone it down but its not helping much so uh

just dont bother him and his dormmates🤨u better not accidentally ruin their appearance bc of ur prank or smth🤬

but other than that, he'll answer ur quizzes and actually listens to ur rare rant abt wanting to soar as freely as birds

probably doesn't like how scheduled his life is😭😭

writing this far finally made me realized how badly putting these three next to a gogol!mc are💀

like imagine putting someone who's goal is complete freedom with three people who's lives are bounded to their own rules or just bounded to smth in some way💀

well opposite attracts amirite⁉️

moving on, you'll be more than happy to help vil if he needs any help with special effects on stage while acting or smth

he needs someone to throw these things from up like snow for the sake of the story? u got him

with that ability of urs, you can do anything💪‼️

congrats? u two are besties? kinda?

#twst #twst wonderland #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #riddle rosehearts #azul ashengrotto #vil shoenheit

[mixedkid-matchup]

you do not have to answer this!! I'm using you to confess my dubious feelings for the Percy Jackson series bc you also expressed like some weird feelings about it, and I kind of thought the series was untouchable bc of how much everyone I see fawns over it, and I have GOT to get this off my chest to someone who might get what I'm saying. But I have major issues with the writing/premise/series bc it's just feels so deeply colonized and it's bothered me since it FIRST came out and everyone in middle school and high school was reading it and teachers were assigning it. Like the whole premise for the Greek gods being in the US is that they follow Western "progress" and it completely disregards all the amazing things Indigenous did and our way of life, and also removes the importance of place-based culture for both Greek stories and Native peoples (like okay all the Greek stuff moved to the U.S. but wth happened to all our spiritual figures?? The story completelya cts like Native people weren't here and didn't have complex beliefs and ways of life connected to the land, and the gods were just free to take over here with no issues). As a mixed Indigenous kid it just rubs me wrong in all the worst ways and the academic systems love affair with Greek and Roman stuff and Rick Riordan's sheer popularity has been forcing this stuff in my face foreveeeerrrr 😭😭 I was surprised to see your tags about the fandom being weird before too tho since I don't interact with it, so I hope you don't mind this ask and just know I kinda feel the same way!! Ok thanks bye sorry for the rant.

BRO I HAVE HAD THIS RANT ON HAND FOR A LONG TIME ITS OKAY!!!!!!!!!

I THINK IF HEARD ABOUT THIS ACTUALLY. but you explained it way better. like when i first read percy jackson ok fine i was 11, i obviously caught onto the ableism and such but i did not catch onto this until i thought about it when i got older. you're super right. the whole thing about ww2 being caused by demigods was the weirdest shit ever i literally did not remember reading it until i read lightning thief again last year. why did hitler need to be child of hades. THAT IS QUITE LITERALLY HOW PERCY DESCRIBES HADES WHEN HE SEES HIM. LOOKING LIKE HITLER. then what you're saying how they move with the places that are the most progressive and basically take over..... like it's just ..... incredibly misplaced and insensitive.

but about the fandom being weird (its literally encouraged by riordan's book tbh), in heroes of olympus, hazel is a black girl from lousiana in the 1930s?? or 40s idk anyways i think she dies and then nico brings her back. whatever, everyone draws her lightskin and with orange hair, and super skinny, (which she's from louisana. shes darkskin and does not have "caramel" hair i hate white men sometimes.) and shes like 13 btw and in a relationship with frank whos like 16. weird as hell and everyone thinks theyre so sweet. and also rick cannot write meaningful young women. and especially not girls of color. like its WEIRD how piper is portrayed as some pick me girl she constantly feels the need to express shes not like the Aphrodite girls. and rick had to make it weird with aphrodite anyway by making them a whole stereotype of snobby boys and girls who love putting on makeup. they had drew, an asian girl & counselor of aphrodite, straight up mean to piper bc she likes jason. like for no other reason. drew only wants to participate and go on the quest because of jason. and other stereotypes like making leo, latine, be super flirty.

and lets really talk about how annoying annabeth was about the blondes are dumb stereotype because, girl we can talk about misogyny and people not letting you do things because of it, but lets also talk about how you are TWELVE, and the blonde stereotype is tired. i never liked annabeth, she was really tone deaf as someone whos half black. OH AND FRANK. they had this weird ass arc where they implied he was fat because of lack of confidence? like when he got confident he, lost weight... because of a blessing of mars? i dont even know.

like as i get older its more and more annoying to see it. i literally rolled my eyes when i saw rick talking about colorblind casting when people got mad about annabeth. he could of said anything else. how this could reconceptualize annabeth's arc around misogyny and now racism. and purposely alter her character to fit this new black annabeth. but no. people treat colorblind casting as a pinnacle of progressiveness.

#theres probably other stuff i didnt hit like the way the girls are literally fighting over jason for no reason #anyway in carter and sadie's situation its more of. like. no research. #like sure genetics are crazy but like. sadie is not gonna have straight blonde hair #shes not gonna have blue eyes 9/10 #and people are WEIRD ABOUT IT #draw her with brown eyes and tan skin and curls before i lose my mind #also again. shes like 13 and in a relationship with a 16 yr old #its so weird how they make the black girls in weird age difference relationships #also. how carter is drawn with black features and brown skin and curly hair but they dont extend that to his sister. #its weird. why do black girls have to be lightskin. #mixed matchup tag

[trans-axolotl]

Please don't feel obligated to answer this if you don't have time/energy but I was wondering if you have any ideas as to why providers/therapists seem to think it's "extremely difficult/unlikely these days" for someone to be involuntarily hospitalized when clearly given people's actual lived experiences, that is not the case? I've heard similar assurances from multiple people and I'm confused as to why this seems to be such a strong belief among providers.

hey anon! This is such a good ask. I have a few hypotheses about why this is something we hear a lot of providers saying, but I would love to get other people's perspectives on this as well. I'll also be talking about this from a US context because I think that psych hospitalization varies enough from country to country that I can't make generalizations about the justifications that are used on that wide of a basis.

I think one possible reason is that many therapists buy into societal ideas that psych wards are the place that "crazy people" go, and whether they are aware of it or not, therapists have a very specific idea in their head of what "crazy enough to go to the psych ward" looks like. It seems like in many providers' heads, they've done an excellent job dehumanizing mentally ill people who end up as psych ward patients. Partially because they need to be able to view the people they put in psych wards as so completely separate from "normal" people that they can continue to feel justified about working in the mental health system. In my experiences, a lot of therapists, whether they admit to it or not, feel slightly uncomfortable when they think about the things that go on in psych wards (restraint, forced drugging, solitary), and in order to justify the existence of those things in the system, they've created this mythical mental patient in their head who is "dangerous enough" and "mentally ill enough" that those methods of abuse existing are justified. I feel like a lot of times, if you're talking to a mental health provider on an outpatient basis and you are well-spoken enough, not in a totally destabilizing crisis, and have enough societal privilege, that in their head they've moved you out of the category of "unwell people that should be in psych wards." Of course, in reality, anyone could end up in enough mental distress that they move into the category of "crazy people that the system thinks should be in the psych ward." So therapists will say this shit to people they are seeing outpatient because they are viewing you as more of a full person and in their head, it becomes extremely uncomfortable to think of the fact that everyone else who is in the psych ward is also completely human, and that anybody could be put in a situation where they are hospitalized.

Another thing I've noticed is that some outpatient providers fully understand the way the system works and they know that if you go in to an ER and are any of the things that the mental health system considers a "danger to self or others" (Namely suicidality, sometimes self harm, and intense psychotic episodes), that you have a very, very high chance of getting hospitalized. However, in their head, this is a small percentage of patients and they don't bother to specify any of it. (using fake numbers for this next example) In their head, maybe only like, 5% of the patients they see get suicidal enough to go to the ER so in their head they think that only 5% of people get hospitalized. What they don't specify is that if you are part of those 5 people who gets in enough mental distress to go to the ER, there's like a 99% chance that you are going to get hospitalized. And to them, it might not seem like a big difference because maybe compared to different times in history in the US, that is fewer people getting involuntarily hospitalized. But from my perspective, that doesn't actually feel particularly helpful or relevant to be told "not that many people get hospitalized" when in reality, if you're someone who's in crisis and ends up having to engage with the crisis system, there's a really high chance that you are going to get hospitalized.

I've also met some therapists who were told in school that people don't get involuntarily hospitalized anymore and they just uncritically believe it and move on with how they approach treatment. I think a lot of therapists also are just looking at what's on paper in terms of "voluntary hospitalizations versus court-ordered hospitalization" and I think that doesn't give the whole picture. On this blog I take the stance that voluntary vs involuntary hospitalization does not really tell you a lot about what coercive factors are in play and what psychiatric abuse you are going to experience. Lots of doctors say "either sign this paper and admit voluntarily to the hospital or we will fill the paperwork to get you involuntarily committed" and then once you get in voluntarily and try to leave the doctors will say "okay, if you try to leave we're going to start the process for a court order to get you to stay." In my perspective, that does not feel very free and voluntary lmfao, but on paper, therapists might be considering that as a voluntary hospitalization and use that to claim that involuntary hospitalization doesn't happen anymore. Also on paper, a lot of hospitalization of adolescents looks like it's "voluntary" because it's the guardians who are signing that paperwork, not the kids, so that can also influence what involuntary hospitalization looks like on a statistical level.

I will give the caveat that levels of involuntary hospitalization does really depend on funding, amount of psych hospitals in an area, and insurance. So it might be true for a particular location that if you're mentally ill and you go to the ER, you might not get involuntarily hospitalized because there just isn't enough beds. But I think that if you take a look at the composition of people who are in psych wards, there are very, very few people who are in there that feel like they've made decisions of their complete free will, absent of coercion, and can leave easily at any time. So I think that although the majority of mentally ill people are not ending up institutionalized, I would hypothesize that a fair amount, if not almost all people who end up institutionalized are processing that experience as a coercive experience on some level and are talking about that.

This is me being a little cynical, but I also think some providers feel completely enabled just to lie to their patients and they get that attitude reinforced by their schools and their colleagues. Something I see a lot is psych professionals getting really mad at psych survivors online and leaving rude comments saying "we know that the things you are calling out are true, but you can't share that info because it's going to scare people off from reaching out for help!" And instead of using that as a moment for self-inquiry about why it might be a sign of structural flaws in the system that they have to lie about it in order to get people to comply, they decide to double down and blame psych survivors.

To summarize: I think the reason that this myth is spread so frequently is that therapists have a very specific, dehumanizing idea in their heads of who is the demographic that ends up in psych wards and think it's unlikely that the people they are seeing outpatient will end up in that level of mental distress, even if they understand that there's a pretty high risk of involuntary hospitalization once you are at the ER. And that therapists and psych survivors have very different understandings of what "voluntary and involuntary hospitalization" means, leading them to generalize a lot of things about the experience of being hospitalized that are just not true. There definitely are other explanations and contributing factors and I would love to hear everyone's thoughts.

#antipsych #personal #mad pride #madness #psych critical #psych wards tw #suicide mention tw #psych abuse tw

[gunsli-01]

Hey, so something's been bothering me since Yuno's second trial, and i've yet to see anyone point it out, i'm not sure if this is relevant or anything, but...

Who's the daddy?

Like, we've had two trials now, and almost no information on which client was the father. My best guess is Schoolgirl Yuno, and that's just because she actually seems to like that one? She's the only one that's never blue, she dissapears after the abortion is done, and the coat from t2 is hers

I love her, she's one of my faves, but i keep getting the sinking feeling that we missed something vital. And since the father is the only thing that hasn't been explained, i'm kind of fixating on it endlessly (contrary to her wishes, but we have a job to do babe, sorry)

I'm not sure where i was going with this, but... thoughts?

(sorry if this is a weird ask, honestly i'm just kind of losing it and i need someone to tell me if i'm focusing on the wrong thing. Also hi, this might actually be the first thing i've done on Tumblr. So, hi?)

Hi! It's definitely not a weird question to ask at all. I've discussed how a lot of things regarding Yuno were overlooked during her first and second trial. Mostly focusing on the very purposeful ignoring of her feelings regarding her crime and our verdict.

I feel like a lot of people neglected to look in the father of the child in favor of turning Yuno's case into a pro-choice vs anti-abortion debate. It was a politicization tactic that ended up working in Yuno's favor but something I very much believe she will dislike given her statements during her first interrogation,

In her first interrogation four minutes and thirty-four seconds into it she says this to Es after she says it's her belief Es won't be able to judge the prisoners.

"Ah! No that's not it. It's different from what you're thinking, prison guard."

"Then, could you let me hear about it in more detail."

"Well, this has been on mind ever since I first heard about the system... Prison guard, you decide who's guilty and innocent here, don't you?"

"That's right."

"Prison guard, that's nothing more than your likes and dislikes, right? I'm not super well read in it... But Japan's a nation where the rule of law prevails, right? Getting people to decide on what's good or bad outside of that will make them go all haywire, won't it?"

She then elaborates-

"For example, news outlets. They always make a big fuss about adultery, inappropriate comments, immodesty and so on... Right? Just to start criticizing the people who make appearances on there. Don't you think it's all so ridiculous? There's no end to how much people will punish one another outside of the law."

What happened during Yuno's second trial the reasoning people displayed fed into the same thing that Yuno herself admonishes during her first interrogation. The policization and scrutinizing of individuals lives outside the realm of the law. Something that rarely ever ends and extends the duration of pain that all parties may be experiencing.

This is in my opinion why the father of Yuno's child was conveniently overlooked. The political framing used to secure her innocent verdict isn't about the father but Yuno having the right to do whatever she chooses with her body. As it is her right and something she should be allowed to do regardless of anyone else's opinion.

Yet, it's not difficult for people to see how that framing conveniently ignores the fact that some random ass adult man may have gotten an eighteen-year-old pregnant. Or how that eighteen-year-old was to their own blatant admission a sex worker. Meaning that there were probably legal steps taken or put in place around all the work she'd been doing including contingencies in the case a pregnancy did occur. Something the new translation of Undercover alludes to-

"“UNDER” My cord’s being pulled but nothing’s ever enough Contractual desires, oh what to do, FUTURE."

Along with lyrics in Umbilical,

"Am I a bad girl? Please don’t answer What do you want to do? Please tell me."

"What type of girl do you like? I want to become like that, but that’s probably too hard for me."

I think a lot of people within the Milgram fandom are too young to understand sex work is work with legal restrictions and polices around it. Work that attracts many high-profile individuals as clientele. It can involve NDA's and contracts that the workers themselves have to sign. It can also lead to news scandals that can go on for months on end if those high value clientele are found to have met with sex workers at any point let alone are found out to have gotten one of those workers pregnant.

In Tear Drop it's alluded to that there are several possible options for the father of Yuno's child. The several different versions of her outside of the lingerie one being stand ins for her clientele. It seems to me that Yuno wanted this man to be the father given the lyrics that appear alongside these images,

"The wanted wanting the wanter. The overlap, isn’t that some sort of perfection? “Poor naive little girl”? So off the mark, what’s it to you? It’s just absurd."

So, chances are the father of the child was one of her clients and taking into consideration how sex work can be her getting pregnant at all could be considered a breach of contract. If one of her clients could prove that she did it on purpose.

Hence the repeated line of "I messed up. I found out." as Yuno giggling can also be heard. I've discussed the whole concept of pregnancy entrapment before when it comes to Yuno mostly in regards to getting her a 50/50 because it was apparent to me being voted overwhelmingly innocent for the reasons people were stating would more than likely piss her off more.

Because it conveniently overlooks every other thing, she's been saying since the beginning in favor of just keeping what looks the best. Ultimately, though the father of the kid was more than likely one of her several clients who she represents as the version of herself she was while with them. Basically, the outfits she wore to match with them while out.

Q.28   How do you decide what clothes to wear for the day?

Haruka: I wear what’s there

Yuno: I pick something to match with the person I’ll be with.

Though since the guy with the watch is all we see in the second video he's probably the one Yuno liked back and possibly wanted to be with.

#milgram #kashiki yuno