#and frankly i am Worried

[mugwot]

my daily dose of the blorbos

#the fact that eddie uses literal #glue to style his hair #all i am gonna say is that his hair must have a funny texture #do you think he uses glitter glue for special occasions? #also dont worry for the bugs they were gently deposited back into nature #welcome home #my art #frank frankly #eddie dear #frank x eddie #eddie x frank

[feenmies]

just barely identical

#daniel and simon are twins in my heart. i know it makes no logical sense and frankly i don't care #if you tag this as ship i will personally find and destroy you #my art #detroit become human #dbh #dbh simon #dbh daniel #i scheduled this post at 4 am so if it just doesn't post at a reasonable time at all Don't worry.

[drinkingdeadpeopletea]

also this podcast LOVES to tell me hieronymous and sherman are having a crazy conversation offscreen and not let me SEE it--

#don't they KNOW how INVESTED i am in these guys.......... #they've now said TWO whole sentences in the same room you guys though DON'T even worry. #i wanted to see *saskia* reunite with sherman too... #and it certainly seems like saskia and harry only beat tzila there by about two minutes which is frankly very funny #plot twist tzila actually IS just as competent as her 12-year-old mind thinks she is #and there are going to be NO problems-- #thank GOD the four of them are in the same room now though. i bet that's going to be crazy when things inevitably go to shit. #probably immediately! #midst podcast #midst #midst spoilers #midst podcast spoilers

[luobingmeis]

like. on the one hand. i get when my supervisors are like "be sure to be personable with your students in a way that still maintains the fact that u are the authority figure bc, since ur all young, it will be easier for them to not see u as a professional" but also. it is very funny when one of my students comes into the TA office, tells me that my undecorated desk is lame compared to the other desks, and then within 30 minutes is like "idk if ur the type of neurodivergent who [proceeds to say something that i absolutely do]" like. they clocked me! they got me there!

#also my hot take is that like. i am a 24 year old grad student teaching college freshmen. #i know where my strengths and weaknesses are and frankly i feel confident in maintaining my own professionalism #all while not forcing myself to act way older than i am #like my students still (relatively) listen to me #and none have tried. u know. being rude with me #(which i am thaknful for bc i have been hearing some horror stories from the other TAs) #so yeah it's funny when one of my best students is like ''hey jordyn ur desk is really lame compared to everyone else's'' #like frankly i'll worry abt being professor [x] when i have a master's #and dr [x] when i have a doctorate

[robottheodorlasso]

I think we should all stop debating if the ted lasso finale was or wasn’t a car wreck to acknowledge the fact that the ted lasso finale caused ME to get into a real life car wreck the day I watched it because I was discussing it too hard

#with huberisticfool and Jason Sudeikis as my witness this is a real thing that happened #this is frankly the funniest way a car accident could of happened #and so y’all don’t have to worry: it was a very small fender bender no one is hurt I just backed into a parked car HENSHUAKW #because; and I can’t stress this enough i am an idiot #not my art #not art

[tearlessrain]

seriously can catastrophes stop happening for five minutes my brain is already fried from the ones we're already experiencing

#I fucking. missed d&d tonight by accident #I straight up forgot #and just didn't show up to the session #my sleep schedule is absolutely fucked #I should be sleeping now but brain won't shut up #my creative output is the lowest it's ever been and I've been in some level of depressive funk since like early january #I am just deeply unfathomably exhausted #like mentally and spiritually #all the time #my memory and sense of time are both shit #my spelling is worse than it used to be for some reason?? #I really don't know what to do to make my brain start functioning again it's frankly worrying me #I couldn't even handle college so it should come as no surprise that I'm reacting poorly to the world being a perpetual screaming trash fir #and yet #idk it's been hitting again lately that I have never succeeded at anything in my life and just keep tripping and falling up for some reason #fucking everyone is in hell right now and with my overall success rate I should be dead in a ditch but I'm actually doing spectacularly #due to a series of improbable accidents and weird circumstances that happened to turn out in my favor instead of completely fucking me #aside from the looming spectre of my various failed attempts to have some kind of life trajectory #it just doesn't feel like this can keep up forever #like surely at some point the luck has got to run out I can't just keep living like some kind of folkloric trickster archetype #but my motivation and sense of purpose kind of died after the last failed attempt so I'm still just here #doing whatever this is #maybe I should drive out to the coast #maybe staring at the ocean would fix me I've been away from it for too long #I mean it can't make me worse #I should wait until further into summer though so I don't have to drive back in the dark #everyone around here has trucks with those goddamn LED headlights and I've got a little sedan that's directly in their blast zone

[hey-cringelord]

on my fourth? fifth? blue lions replay

wish i had screencaps to help me sort this post out but alas, my ramblings will have to do. there’s insane insaneeeeeee amounts of foreshadowing for dimitri - whenever i do a replay i’m always a bit thrown off by how in your face it is. obviously there’s felix calling him a no-good, barely-human, more-boar-than-being prince, but felix is also an asshole. case dismissed

i’m only at chapter 4, post-lonato, and seeing dimitri console ashe while simultaneously mourning the loss of innocent civilians via his hand knowing what happens after the timeskip… bizarre. it’s so two-sided too; if one was to go into the game completely blind, they’d think dimitri would clearly take the right path

he talks about all this unnecessary destruction and unneeded killing and then, well… 😅

#cringelord plays fe3h #dimitri alexandre blaiddyd #theres a lot of depth to that boy i can say that much #boy as in prince dima. I’m speaking of academy dimitri #in wartime dima? well i’m not there yet. Thats a path i’ve yet to come across and frankly am worried about once again stumbling upon #but we move! #this playthrough i vowed to commit to femleth so i could marry my mitya #i cant abandon him this far in (there are 18 chapters to the end) i’m so close to my goal!! #i will probably add to this as he descends and then falls #god. The fall

[mossflower]

how many breakdowns should you have about dropping out before you seriously consider dropping out. asking for a friend teehee

#shock horror. i am not asking for a friend #turns out going to uni bc you had no idea what else to do + taking a course you’re mostly interested in bc you like space #is not necessarily a good idea. who would have thought #see the thing is if this didn’t cost money i wouldn’t be so worried. but i don’t want to keep having this breakdown and eventually drop out #in like a year’s time with twice the amount of debt or whatever #rn now i keep looking on indeed like hmm. i could totally drive trains that would be an amazing idea. driving a milk float!! so slay!! #bc i realised shortly after getting here that i do not want to do a phd which basically rules out any astrophysics jobs #my mum suggested looking at summer placements but quite frankly i need to get a job over summer if i stick with my degree bc i am ✨broke✨ #rn i’m saying shit like oh i’ll just write a book and get it published. totally feasible way to make some quick cash (delusional)(knows it) #november has been hell i do not have a draft let alone a book #and i’m tired and i haven’t had a proper meal since thursday and my room is a tip #i‘ve had like three conversations with my friends in the past fortnight and none of them lasted longer than five minutes #i was so fucking excited for uni!! it was going to be so good!! i feel bad for wanting to drop out bc i don’t hate it!! #i just don’t really like it either #god fucking damn it. this shit is worse than a sexuality crisis. at least they had zero real world impact bc i was an antisocial fucker #this is the rest of my fucking life!! the hell!!

[gynecologistmsfrizzle]

i don't hate anyone as a matter of principle but if you're coughing on public transit without a mask on you are testing that principle in the strongest possible sense.

#i get that people can't just stay home. i get that quality masks are expensive. i get that we have to be reasonable. #so i am setting the bar SO fucking low alright? i don't care if the mask is cloth. i don't care if it's a fucking bandana. #i just had covid and i'm sextuple vaxxed or whatever now and i'm wearing a kn95. i'll be fine! #but this is frankly a matter of manners just as much as infection control. #stigma is a weapon to be wielded with the utmost care and restraint but jfc we have GOT to stigmatize being publicly sick & unmasked! #'it's allergies' 1. how do YOU know that. 2. how do you expect anyone ELSE to know that. #even if it IS allergies you're still worrying and inconveniencing the people around you by not being masked! AND THAT'S STILL RUDE! #anyways if you're ever indoors unmasked & hacking away and you're wondering if people are judging you? we are. #man i have autism. i don't judge people for ANYTHING in public. piss in the intersection. whatever. but this is my line girlies. #rhi talks #you can reblog this. honestly out of every post ive made this is probably the only one i actually hope people reblog lmfao #like i said. not to be disabled on main but this PARTICULAR very specific action? this one we have a moral responsibility to stigmatize.

[altschmerzes]

still working on this ‘fuck a ‘forgive your abuser’ arc’ 3x11/3x12 fix it fic and it’s like 13.5k gd help me

#gav gab #ted lasso spoilers #writing liveblog #I SIMPLY HAVE A LOT TO SAY #i worry it's turning out like....... preachy or Not Characterful or whatever #bc i truly don't want it to just be a psa about why this shit sucks #and i truly don't believe a lot of how that was handled was In Character - AT LEAST NOT THE WAY THEY DID IT #(i can believe ted could make a mistake like that is what i mean but the narrative Did Not frame it as a mistake) #(as something he said because he was clouded by his own baggage - WHICH IS FINE but that is Not how they portrayed it) #(and i believe the other people in jamie's life if they knew that had happened would uh) #(have SOME THINGS to say about it) #(and in general no we will not be endorsing 'being abused made you who you are (positive)' no sir not on my watch) #anyways #i truly am operating by what i think is In Character and an Engaging story to tell #(i.e. it's jamie trying to force himself down the 'forgive your dad or at least Try To you know For You!' path and uh #having a bit of a breakdown because of it) #but i worry it's gonna Come Off Badly yknow #anyways kicks this tag ramble under the couch #i'm writing it anyway because frankly i need it after all of that abuse apologist mess #and i'm continually bothered by a lot of people also saying that the forgiveness thing was Fine and Good but actually contacting james #was where they drew the line #bc im like no that was. also a really fucking shitty thing to have happen #if it had JUST been the 'forgive. For You.' thing? it would still suck #bc that was a very fast interaction with ZERO nuance or awareness of how fucking loaded and brutalizing forgiveness as a concept is #to a LOT of abuse victims/survivors bc of the way it's been weaponized against us #if you mean 'let go and put it down/stop carrying it/be free of it/etc' then say that. forgiveness is just too far gone for me at this point #abuse ment

[sollucets]

i mean, i get being a little worried, but do people Really not believe raysan is endgame,,, like,,, it's Confirmed you know

#i used to worry about it too but like. #firstkhao said 'we get together in the end' in that interview with jennie #it's gonna be okay gang!!! #frankly though even sans meta factors (fk popularity word of actor etc) i am Firmly a raysan truther #the narrative's just chefs kiss perfect :') #rowan chatter

[red-moon-at-night]

I am very Normal

by the way, if anyone has a higher quality image of the back of the Undercover CD I would be most grateful. because I am low-key fighting for my life here with some of these runes

#don't worry the image I have looks better than this it's just the notes page screenshot that's compressing it #anyway. watch me find out someone decoded this already (if so... please share I am most interested 👀) #I do have to remember though that this is quite frankly unhinged behaviour and maybe I really am the only one out here making these choices #milgram #am I actually putting this in the main tag #capri talks #okay but I need you to know this deciphering business is giving me great enrichment and stimulation. I want you to know this brings me joy #also I need to say this is just my current workings and its messy and incomplete so. don't judge me I'm exposing myself here I'm vulnerable

[gumheel]

well my fears have come to fruition. my therapist has told me to get assessed for autism

#on one hand. oh my gd thank you for recognizing i am struggling #for reasons toher than like. sucking #to talk frankly about being autistic is so great #however. ermmmmmm #i am not super hyped about like... making that an official process attached to my medical records #especially because like #admittedly i think i am like. low functioning to borrow terminology i wouldn't otherwise use #<- saying this for clarity's sake and because j don't know how else go talk about it #but with time i have realized i am kind of not capable of living or functioning alone #and that's something that's kind of come up in these sessions #and he can't diagnose that hence why he's having me talk to my psych about it #but the idea of explaining this in an assessmenr #i just worry about being opened up to like. psychiatric abuse #and if's sort of fucking heinous that i should have to worry at the same time as being like... #i don't want to have to juggle relief at the isea of accommodations and frustration at a loss of agency #but it feels inevitable #idk #ultimatey i guess for me i am so fucking burnt out and have so much trouble with wmotional regulation & basic cognition that like.. #i don't think i can like. continue and do something i want if it's still Like This #but the way like... people in positions of authority particularly in terms of health begin to trwat you #so deeply infantilizing #i don't know. #also ugh do you know how stupid it is to be like this. #<- OBLIGATORY INTERNALIZED ABLEISM/WHINING ABOUT MY EXPERIENCES DISCLAIMER BEING AUTISTIC IS AWESOME AND MAKES YOU COOL AND FUNNY AND HOT #🥲 #call me!

[nostalgia-tblr]

have just typed the word "affianced" into a fic, i am so glad/horrified that the mcu has at last allowed me to write the messy faux-historical fiction of my dreams.

#thor is engaged to an elf! this will not go well for any of the characters in this story! (yay!) #it's all set in a special bit of history that never actually happened but does contain any and all ye olde things i want to shove in there #PHILLIPA “FUCKING” GREGORY BETTER WATCH THE FUCK OUT!!!!! #don't worry i know this is Weird Niche Shit i'm just indulging myself here and frankly i am enjoying that tremendously #btw i *still* don't know what relevant AO3 tag i should be using instead of 'Consort Queens' as that one is JUST ME somehow??? #DO OTHER PEOPLE NOT WANT TO WRITE ABOUT THAT SORT OF THING?????? #DO OTHER PEOPLE NOT THINK THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN 'CONSORT' AND 'REGNANT' IS OF THE GREATEST IMPORTANCE??? AND FIXATE ON IT A BIT???? #fic related

[skrunksthatwunk]

found out that rascal's owner took him again while i was out, and he's probably not gonna be back since the semester's almost over. i don't even know if his owner's coming back next semester, if i'll ever see him again. if he'll ever see me again. why do they wait until im not around to do this? why do they never let me say goodbye to him?

#i didnt really get to process it bc i found out when i was hanging w a friend but. im processing it now #sigh.. i dont know. i dont know. #at the end of the day he is and has always been someone else's cat. i can't control what she does with him #no matter what i think of it. she can always take him away. but every time it happens im just. im tired yknow? #it's worth it to me to have him around. i love him dearly and i want him to be in a home where he's actually cared for (which i have done my #best to provide) but he's just. not mine. and every time it happens i back up and think man. im such a sucker. #i don't think people manipulate me often. not in an ongoing way i mean. i don't think ppl see me as valuable enough to most of the time. #but damn. she really found my weak spots didn't she. free petcare courtesy of one chump who can't live without animals around. sigh #he deserves stability but he deserves love more. this weird shared custody thing is better for him i think. and frankly i also love him. #im not the priority here but my feelings are like. there. him being taken away without even telling me first hurts. i'd like to be able to #say goodbye to him. im not saying he has to stay or this has to go on but couldn't they just.. consider my feelings a bit more? #just bc you're fine with dropping your cat off somewhere for weeks not knowing when you'll see him again and not visiting doesn't mean i am #and i kind of feel like my roommate is part of this. after all it's not like his owner can just break into our room and take him #and if im always out when they do it there's a chance roomie's just shipping him off whenever she gets sick of him. #she's done it before. even after she agreed so vehemently with me about never wanting him to go back to such treatment and stuff early on. #she's been spraying him for little reason lately too. and i mean i get being a little more cautious with some things bc her neck's broken #but she's really fixated on how much he smells and bites and stuff and talks about how if i wasn't around she'd consider eating him #and then other times she's like that's my pookie. i don't get it. like yeah i tell rascal to fuck off sometimes bc he hurts me but it's not #like a hateful thing. i dont resent him for it i'm just annoyed sometimes bc he's maiming me a little. he's my baby. how could i loathe him? #so it makes me think that roomie might be blaming his transfers on his owner bc she doesn't want me to judge her #and like. this is her room too. it's not her fault she's more bothered by the smell than me. if she doesn't want to be bitten and clawed all #the time i can sympathize. i don't wanna force her to house him. but i wish she'd just be honest with me i guess #like. what if his owner decides to give him away without telling me? i'd take him in in a heartbeat. even though i know it's a bad idea. #but i'm worried he'll fall out of my reach completely. and at the very least I'd like to be able to say goodbye first. that's all.

[doctorwhoisadhd]

there's a certain quality the harmonies of like... early to mid 2000s alt rock has. which i am obsessed with... like i wanna do that. i NEED to figure out how to write harmonies that sound like that

#ari opinion hour #i sort of understand it but not necessarily well enough to do it on command #i think i sort of achieved the sound of it with my blaseball winter exchange song i did for snow but specifically only in the very last bit #like only with the 'im not alive anymore' part #(which sidenote i wish id had the second half faster + w more drive but its not like that was like a full recording which i could do) #i think i just need my music to have more teeth in general cause it scratches an itch that i think i must have developed due to some aspect #of music school. its probably my dissatisfaction with the attitudes in the classical world #<- which understand i say that in the same way that like my jazz prof does. the classical world doesnt have enough teeth nor enough #understanding of the way in which music is like. another art. and art needs to be able to have teeth and use elements normally regarded as #''undesirable'' on purpose because art is there to make you feel emotions and not just the positive ones and not just sadness or anger in #terms of the negative ones #art is there to make u feel ALL extant emotions and that includes boredom disgust fear jealousy pity cowardice apathy overwhelmedness etc #also the classical world i find often forgets what the word ''play'' means #i am of the opinion that perfection is a waste of time if i wanted perfect i'd ask a computer to do it for me. i want real #anyway. i forgot what this post was even about lol point is i need to figure out how to write harmonies that have that soaring quality that #like. you can hear it in like helena by mcr and wake me up by evanescence and stuff. and frankly most of the songs on three cheers for swee #revenge which i am listening to now for the first time. i need to learn more about this stuff maybe ill listen to the evanescence album tha #song is from next. #or something i should really be working on my essay but theres no way i wont have it done in time which is good i think i just mostly have #to worry about sources and stuff but even that should be relatively easy i think