#and generally its a mess and im sorry

[krash-and-co]

friendly reminder this fandom isnt a job and you don't have to actively work to 'save the show' all the time, you can just have fun

#i saw a post earlier that was basically #'ok i see us all having fun but lets get back to show saving as well' #like????? no????? #WHEN did we owe anyone anything #this isnt a job we are here for fun. #messing around with posts and polls and fanart is not extra fun stuff. its what fandom is FOR #so yeah save the show thats all cool #but thats not what fandom is about. #never has been never should be im not here to work for someone its quite the opposite #what other fandom does this /neg #thank you so much to my moots for not being like this #but i went on the general lockwood tag and took damage #sorry im just mad #if you worry it's at you it's probably not tho lol #lockwood and co #lockwood and co netflix #save lockwood and co

[liquidstar]

a friend who'd wait :)

#im posting this very late because i was sort of weary of how it came out and ended up messing w it until it was like 4am oops. #and i have plans tmrw so... oh well! i did my best and ill put it out while i can! #and i tried to make the scene match barnard's colors lol #finn's ocs #finn's art #i know i said id do more sillay stuff with the simpler screentone only style but i had a couple more of these in me #and this is the first piece im making thats like an actual part of the story too rather than just setting stuff for fun #i wanna write something to go with it too but for now ill just sort of briefly explain the context in the tags here: #barnard has a pretty bad case of OCD and his compulsions have made it difficult to make friends in the past #he was never outright bullied or anything but people just didnt really have the patience to deal with it #he has compulsions that include stuff like walking through doors until it feels right and needing things to be perfectly aligned #which in group settings has lead to people having to wait for him to finish his rituals and join them #they might find it tolerable at first but eventually they grow impatient and hes just... not invited to stuff anymore #but juno is a newer member of the guild who ends up frequenting the same library. hes also kinda a little weird #and they dont become fast friends or anything but just sort of naturally spend time in the same place #though they never plan meetups they eventually fall into a routine. around the same time theyd just both be at the library #and read next to each other. and maybe talk a bit. and eventually they end up walking back to the guildhall together #since theyre going to the same place after all. and juno always waits for barnard outside the door #eventually barnard asks if this bothers him. juno kinda just tells him 'of course it does' without any malice or anything. just a statement #barnard is surprised and apologizes and juno says not to. but the next day juno doesnt show up at the usual time. #barnard assumes hes committed somekinda more by bringing it up. he ends up staying there late reading to get his mind off it & not ruminate #but when he leaves juno is in fact still waiting for him down the hall (see pic) having collected a bunch of books literally abt ocd #he fell asleep bc barnard stayed later than expected. and hes an eepy guy generally. and also one very bad at expressing himself #but now barnard gets that juno's 'of course it [bothers me]' had the implication of 'but its worth it' which no friend has previously done. #and from the interaction juno was also able to understand that this isn't something barnard just does for the hell of it so. he studies. #and checks a bunch of stuff out because he thinks it could help his friend too (theres ocd workbooks and such- i remember working w them) #and thats the point where they became more ''friends'' than ''pleasant library acquaintances'' #from there on they also do get into juno's problems. whole other bag of worms. but this specific scene is more about bernard from his pov #sorry about when i said briefly explain. i lied </3 #but compared to the whole sequence im picturing its brief so shhh

[gobstoppr]

and btw im in my hater arc rn. as time goes on the more i find a lot of 'fandom' stuff insufferable (i like art n stuff. just the way that fandom refits every media to fit a single mold and set of boring archetypes is exhausting.)

i just get really easily annoyed lately. and have been unfollowing people on a whim a lot. its not personal i promise

#fandom culture has made me actively dislike shit i was fixated on a year ago. looking at your ninja turtles #its not even like what they were doing were particularly offensive it was just exhaustingly boring #im sorry i just really dont care about ur 2 million fics about leo being a sadboy. or one million seperated aus. #theres definetly a part of the whole situation in general which has been me coming to terms with my own internalized misogny #actively re-examining my tendencys to gravity towards male characters #idk maybe its making me dislike art more. but idk. ive always analyzed why i react certain ways to certain things. this isnt new for me #anywaays. i had been following a bunch of ninja turtle blogs and they sorta kept messing around with shows like ninjago too #and at some point i was just like. i dont know if these shows are actually that good guys. i think youjust like shows for little boys #and fandoms tend to shaft female chars so it sure helps that their casts are 98% male . #maybe theyre not your blorbo maybe theyre just Guy McAverageMan. thats not inherently bad but you have to consider it. #guys rottmnt is isnt even that good . its not that good ok. its alright/pretty good. and the movie does a few neat things #i feel like ive become one of those people that turn 18 and then immediately go 'minors dni'. im not there yet but i just. #we're watching kids shows. its ok . you can say it. #you may have noticed ive been reblogging a lot of dungeon meshi stuff. i read it all over the past week. #but here's the thing. i thought it was mid/good for like 70% of it. #i think its got some really really cool worldbuilding ideas and stuff #but i think a lot of the writing was sorta. uninteresting to me. #my discord friends have been raving over izutsumi for months. #but i found her presence in the story to be weird and underdeveloped. she felt out of place and her introduction felt clumsy #i felt when the story was ramping up the manga got a lot better. because again theres some rlly cool ideas at play #all the shit with the lion? incredible. the way all the infighting led to more problems bc the elves refuse to explain anything? rlly good. #marcille landing in power? reallly good shit. (i still thought it was a lil undercooked still tho) #i cant stop thinking about laios in that climax scene. i think he shouldve been feral a lot more often #uhh. i got distracted. fandom bad and annoying. #saw a post talking about marcille realizing izutsumi is only 17 and then describing how 'omg shes a mom now' and i wanted to throw up #im done. i swear. im done talking for real. aagh #text

[just-eyris-things]

Vent post. Because i feel like kicking a hornets' nest.

Honestly im just tired of how people will call someone ignorant/uneducated and will go for the throat for every little thing, while they themselves say shit like pierogis all the time. If you're going to point fingers at others, you yourself should be without fault.

The question is... can you?

#im just so tired of all the shit that i constantly see on the internet #ARTIST CANCELLED BECAUSE THEY DIDNT DRAW SOMETHING PERFECTLY #or ARTIST CANCELLED BECAUSE THEY USED A DIFFERENT COLOUR PALETTE #ARTIST CANCELLED BECAUSE THEIR IDEA OF A FICTIONAL CHARACTER ISN'T UP TO FANDOM'S STANDARDS #i bet other people also get shit like that all the time #for example my friend is a writer and he just happens to be a cisguy and whenever i mentioned it to people #they would instantly start saying that they are sure he writes shit like she breasted boobily down the stairs #or i remember how i got told off for making trahearne lives au because apparently #messing with canon is just as bad as falsifying information in history books #just stop for the love of whatever's devine #this has been boiling in me for so long i cant even express it #sorry for going off in the tags in case you decided to read them #peace out imma go and read a book and touch grass #finally its green and soft again after so many rains and storms so it will be a nice chilling time outside #oh btw proper plural is pierogi without the s. singular is pieróg. you want to add s - say pierógs #ngl that pierogi-pierogis is one of my biggest pet peeves #like i wont be stabbing you over it or throw a tantrum and i will just move on with my day i have better things to do in general than #than throwing fits and also im not omniscient myself #like i dont know all the words in english and my german knowledge is very scarce #so i in no way demand others know about pierogis #just give people some room to breathe for gods sake #ok ok ok i think im overwriting this and i cant edit tags on phone so now fr im gonna go and enjoy outside and watch the squirrels

[caffeiiine]

one more thing thats been rotating around my head:

my school anime club hosts an anime con in the spring and i am genuinely so excited bc club members are staff amnd we are hsoting it! and i can host a panel!!!

#itd be my first anime con] #and also why part of the reason im trying to homemake a cosplay so i can have a cool one to wear #so many panel ideas are running around my head #i wanna make it bsd themed but im unsure how popular that would be #so i was thinking since im planning to go in dead apple fyodor cosplay #fyodor has that one line i really love “welcome to happy group counseling hour!! Im your host-- Fyodor Dostoyevsky” #and it sounds like hes introducing a game show (im not gonna force the panel goers into a counseling hour sobs dwdw) #SO my idea was anime themed game show w/ good prizes corresponding to the animes i picked the questions from #like itd INCLUDE bsd but it wouldnt be only about bsd is what im saying #therefor making it more appealing to the general con goers!!! #god its in may and im beginning to prepare for it now help me #of course i have a fuck ton of time to prepare but ive always liked to have my details in check long before the actual thing happens #i feel sorry for you and am deeply thankful if you read through my mess of thoughts #ily! /p :D #actually goodnight now its like 1:30am and id prefer to sleep earlier than i did last night <3 #sodaramblestoomuch

[the-kipsabian]

maybe instead of a fic writing goal list i should make a fic reading goal list huh

#read more in general. potentially get into new ships and fandoms. leave more comments. the likes #i mean i try to comment on everything i reblog here and what i kudos on ao3 if its not cross-posted #i need to read more friends stuff in general. ive been really bad at that sorry #im just still trying to ease myself back into all this its been a long while before this year when i properly interacted especially with #fics. so getting back into reading more than my blorbos and shit is just rough on me #i'll do better next year. im gonna make the effort. i promise #anyways yeah just putting that energy out there idk #night is an absolute mess on main

[toruvi]

you ever go through a period in your life where everything is just changing so much and you dont really adjust well to change but you also dont want things to stay the way they are but you also get kinda sad bc even if things were shitty there were still some things that were comforting but those things just arent as comforting anymore but you dont know what can comfort you now so you’re desperately trying to hold onto what was while also hoping for something new and its jusgdfhgntjkdgrgfwelrkgjflkhjg AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

#SORRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY #i am a mess #i miss tumblr i miss what it was #i feel like i lost a friend group on here sometimes and i know theyre not really ~gone~ but its not the same yk #and it feels like everyone can move on but me and im just ...here? #iunnoooooooooooooooooo #i just really miss being a part of a fandom where the show was airing!!!!!! when it's active!!!!!!!!!!! #and yes itll return one more time but it wont be the same #i might not even be around the same people and sometimes it is sad to think about #idk i handle change very poorly as you can see LOL #AND I KNOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW BEING SOCIAL COULD HELP #i am trying but i am.....realistically its hard for me to just connect with people :(((( #and i get asks and people do talk to me dont get me wrong im not complaining abt that!!! #it just takes a while for me to feel like opening up ya know....... #ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh im just emo #this isnt even solely about tumblr its just a lot of things happening in life in general #wwwwwwejklshfdklhgbfldjk #ANYWAYSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS im gonna pour my sad onto paychecks levi #also im so sorry for being slow at answering stuff i really do enjoy replying and chatting im just down in the dumps #and want to give meaningful replies :(

[ca-3]

Twitter is on fire at least once a week now, it's kinda funny lol but everyone trying to migrate back here again and I feel like every time people say they're coming back to tumblr they go back to strictly Twitter a week later... 🧍🏽‍♀️

In all honesty I'm just tired of panicking about social media

#like im sorry its usually true #i just use tumblr casually because on Twitter i actually got more commissions and stuff from there #so it does worry me a bit in that regard #text #ca3 says #but yeah social media is a mess these days in general tbh

[nonbinarygamzee]

one of the spots of the comic i hate the most and yet find myself revisiting sooo often is the particular couple of logs between dave and karkat talking about terezi and the things going on with gamzee behind the scenes. i just. think its such a good little nest of all of the hypocrisy that exists in gamzees character writing. theyre unbelievably, laughably stupid, believing something so obviously untrue that its not even a question whether they deserve basic respect anymore, and yet their belief in this is also somehow an act of manipulation on their part for the sake of.... what? making terezi worse? this isnt even a point in the comic where the relationship is perceived by the other characters as unhealthy (past the idea that being with somebody delusional is a hindrance, and will ruin the otherwise sound head on her shoulders, i guess), but already that fanon interpretation that had been popularized around the time is seeping into the story. gamzee is simultaneously a fool, whom is funny to mock because inevitably their beliefs will be proven wrong, because that is who they’ve been from inception. but they are also a puppetmaster preying on the poor innocent girl who otherwise has always held herself as the judge jury and executioner but now is none the wiser and, worse, completely at their mercy. somehow.

and like. again this is all predating any idea that gamzee is treating her any particular way. and its even weirder when you go and read these logs because its always really felt, to me at least, that these are the first moments where you’re being told pretty explicitly that gamzee’s religious ideas are entirely true to what actually goes on to happen (or has happened already, non-linearly), because of the way dave and karkat keep digging in on how totally impossible it is, how funny it will be to see gamzee realize its bullshit. but even in writing a character arc for gamzee that does include, technically, confirmation of their beliefs, they cant actually be allowed to be right. letting gamzee ever believe something true is too much an act of respect towards the character, the only time this could ever possibly happen is when we are otherwise dragging them through the mud, this time in the form of a shoehorned “implied” story about intimate partner violence that cant even respect the audience enough to call it that until much later on anyways. and that was a shit way to do it when it happens to, hardly says a damn thing and tries to recontextualize these interactions without any of the work of having planned that heavy of a topic’s inclusion at all. its as always a pretty extreme act of racism and ableism, but it’s also hitting on this very veryyyyy homestuck type of misogyny that permeates the text in how it treats terezis “spiral”. the homestuck girls can be strong and they can be smart, are often the smartest person in the room even. but they will still always be proven incapable of avoiding being hurt so that the boys in her life have something to judge and worry over.

#wasnt the intent of the post but another point for girlzee. so sorry queen. #this ones kind of a mess in general im sort of just babbling as i read things hi <3 #its clown town #meta #tag that means nothing to me anymore just using it for organization at this point

[munadyke]

hmmmm!

#um so sucks that s&b was canceled but i cannot say i didnt see it coming #also im so sorry. i hate to say it. but i couldnt even finish s2..... #they werent doing my friends justice #sorry but jesper and wylan would not act like that #and like kaz and inej had fun stuff going on but the ordering of the plot events in s2 completely messed up their relationship arc #and also just their personal journeys in general #at this point we could never get the ice court because all of its climactic moments would feel meaningless because they completely removed #all of the emotional context #idk im not articulating this particularly well rn #but im still mourning what could have been #s1 was a little messy but she was fun and had so much potential #and i was really enjoying the s&b storyline too #and like i loved the casting and i love alina and genya and zoya and even mal #like mal and alina in the show were so dyke coded what who said that #but anyway i dont know what im saying anymore!

[sundial-bee-scribbles]

blood color testing pt 2: i was trying to visualize something and made these

#my art lol #blood tw #fukase vocaloid #yeah im just gonna. leave it at that this was just testing so. yuh #so he doesnt look thattttt bad w/ red blood ig but it just doesnt stand OUTTT its annoying to my color brain idk. #there isnt that much blood splattering here either so its probably not the best example but whatever #i usually always need to adjust his colors the most when i draw him anyways just b/c like... yeah. sorry bestie that bright red isnt it #(SOMETIMES. like dont get me wrong i love the high contrast but for certain things it just does not look good so i gotta mess around) #i probably shoulda fixed something w/ the green blood maybe made it lighter actually cause idk if it looks all that good here... alien vibe #usually i do blue and pink the most often; blue my personal fave cause it looks cool and pink b/c its closer to red/normal blood. but ya #man i really need to LEARN HOW TO DRAW HIM CONSISTENTLY smthn always changes every time i draw this mfer 😭😭😭 #theoretically he shouldnt be that fucking hard to draw but AUGHHHH. just in general i need to pay better attention to everyone's designs wt

[klonoadoortophantomile]

new 2d sonic games coming out this fall apperently ?

#not sure how to feel abt it just watched the trailer. im a modern 'classic sonic' hater sorry. #it just doesnt quite capture what i enjoy abt the og games as well as stuff like advance and rush does (well those more take that and build #it up into its own thing (rush especially) but whatever. it still carries on some general things i enjoy about classic sonic design and #all the more recent stuff ive played has not really been my thing. idk what physics engine theyre using but if its the retro engine i will #probably not like it that shit messes with my muscle memory so bad im sorry. i dont like it i wish i did #also the general visual design/art direction just isnt my thing! im not into that kinda stuff ive always disliked it to an extent #ESPECIALLY in 2d it feels very visually overwhelming but that is probably just a me thing. #also idk if the sound design in the trailer reflects what the game is going to sound like but.did not like it . again a personal preference #so i guess im leaning kinda negative overall MAN i hate that . why am i like this lol sorry #i love sonic games i really do but i just Do Not care for the Big Stuff theyve been doing lately it isntreally my thing #the older stuff just plays to my tastes better u_u #also another thing classic sonic gameplay w 3d models has always felt so ? stilted? #rush doesnt count its its own beast. stilted is probbaly The last thing id use to describe its presentation LMAO #but like. all the sonic generations onwards stuff just feels Weird to look at theres no realkick to it. hell i feel like this abt a few #other 2.5d games that are. 2.5d in the visual sense.it just doesnt click right in a lot of cases #so what im syaing is . 3d bad 2d good /JOKE #the multiplayer seems interesting wonder how thats gonna be handled. also im guessing amy plays how she does in origins here #not sure how she plays there but i m glad to actually see her playable in more stuff! i hope her playstyle is similar to her advance 1 #gameplay i love that shit so much geneuinely. its a lot of fun to mess around w #i wanna say im sure the game will be fine but also..... its sonic......... theyre always gonna figure out some way to fuck shit up #<- i say that somewhat lovingly but also it is pretty frustrating since most of it does stem from management issues and time crunch. sigh #okay im just rambling abt sonic nonsense now sorry. i try not to get too invested in everything anymore it was really draining when i was #actively trying to keep up w everything but sometimes smthn comes upand my brain goes back into Sonic Mode /silly #inquisitivewaltz.txt #oh god these tags are so long. im so sorry hgfdhsjgfdhs

[severalsmallwizards]

someone tagged that as komaeda. you could not be more wrong

#oniongarden #Not to care about things i like on main but like the whole point of him having the lying disease is that hes not normally like that #and being misunderstood like that causes him despair... He literally only ever lies outside of the involuntary stuff #is when he tries really poorly to go back on opening up to hajime about past trauma LIKE #sorry if i messed up some of the details i know im generally right abt this but it is like 5am. im sleepy #and i need to continue playing dr... but i really wanna stream it bc its more fun w friends to be insane with

[scare-ard--sleigh]

AND ALSO like yes infidelity is bad, do not do it, especially if you're a minister for fuck's sake but ahchddjej everyone made it sound like joseph and robert were fucking on the reg to the point where they were basically secretly together when it was. one night lmao.

#dream daddyblogging #like come ON . #i guess you could say that its possible joseph's full of shit when he says it was one night but given that its not referenced again that's #doubtful from a storytelling perspective. you can't embed lies in your story without providing some way for the reader to know they're lies #and judging from the fact that if dadsona fucks robert one (1) time you can't romance him; im inclined to believe j about it anyway #im sorry for being so annoying about this i just shdjdakdkdhdj its so hard to find content that doesnt villainize joseph when #i think it's actually more interesting to assume the most generous interpretation here. #but i am also a big sucker for characters who are convinced it's all circumstance when really they're making a mess of everything #and i also feel like so many people see infidelity and automatically assume that means the person doing it must not be #sympathetic or likeable AT ALL when reality is a lot more grey than that but that's not a discussion im willing to open #the christiansen mess

[vanillabat99]

I just had a really weird dream. I wanna make it very clear that my dreams are extremely vivid, and I often believe them to be reality while I am dreaming.

I was trapped in some fantasy hell maze made up of two sections, mostly indoor and mostly outdoor. The outdoor part was like a big forest but also a university campus, and the indoor part was like a big shopping mall (separate from the "university" building in the outdoor section). I've had "Trapped In A Shopping Mall From Hell" dreams before but this one was so weird?? I'll skip over the relatively normal dream stuff and just tell you the nightmare part, because it would take a lot of explaining for the first bit. CW for mentions of gore.

So, the "Shopping Mall From Hell" turned into some weird miniature-land tunnel themepark, which your goal was to escape. It wasn't scary at first and for awhile the worst part was trying to catch up to someone, but then there was a split path in the tunnel rooms. One of the tunnel sections featured a death laser (which is kinda cringe but I didn't wanna die so I avoided it) but the other tunnel featured a gore display, which has probably been burned into my brain forever now. Since this one wasn't immediate death I decided I'd be brave about it and power through, but it just got worse. The next room after was somehow more violently disgusting, and the bodies were screaming and moving. Every room I could see in the distance was just increasingly horrendous. So I turned around and ran out. I had to climb over the previous room display to get out and it turns out it wasn't really a display either, and they started screaming as I furthered their wounds in my desperation to escape. The rest of it wasn't so bad in comparison and it did turn out somewhat okay, but I think that's really gonna exist in my head forever now.

#they looked like old ai generated images of people kinds of messed up but with heavy gore on top #i could hear their bones cracking as i climbed over them 😭😭😭 #they werent like shouting screaming it was like. hissing and moaning and wailing. which id say is worse than just yelling. #but like the first gore room was just like. it was shocking. but was kinda just a ball of body parts. but the 2nd room. god. #the second room smelled bad. there were flies. it was a very very very violent scene. like you cant even show that in horror movies bad. #and when i turned back the more fully formed bodies turned to look at me as they screamed. i think they mightve tried to grab me. #it was bad. it was really bad. like. i cant describe how grotesque this was. #ive had gore dreams before but this was a bad one 😭 #might be up there with the meat dream in terms of mentally scarring. #im okay for now and but idk if im gonna be going back to sleep. #ive been awake for like 15mins and most of it has been spent writing this so. this is fresh. eurgh. #i tried to proofread the post but its 5am and im tired im sorry if theres errors or if its incoherent #thanks for reading though #means a lot #batty blogging #text

[kii2me2ii2]

dave is more cis than caliborn and in this essay I will—

#this was made bcus sm1 on tiktok called cal cis 😔 #w the 'cis guy cringe is no match for.... t guy swag!!!' and dirk was the t guy rigjt #im not arguing dirks cisness i think theyre genderfluid gay t girl ok #but dave...... #listen i hc him as transmasc like anyone does but.......... #if i had to choose one #im sorry dave ur gettin hit w the cis #i cant make a cherub *period* cis ok it just doesnt make sense #like sure cal could be cis in the way he n lliope are siblings ok #which is. they fuckinf arent ??????? #they dont even know what being gay is guys #sorry i just hate people applying human relational concepts to the cherubs #like yes they were made by a human. but you cannot look at the cals and tell me if they were species swapped they would be the same people #they are inseparable from their species and i cannot take this misinformation !!!!!!! #like i dont like species swaps in general cus its just. a completely different social structure but like #cherubs are celestial beings representations of the concepts of creation/sustenance and destruction/control #and they turn into giant snakes when they mate #like literally i just. cant. deal with people pretending like theyre comparable to humans or trolls. #not to mess w ur headcanons or whatever but their blood type has infinitely more to do with their identity as a species than their gender #caliborn and calliope being the omly cherubs were exposed to sucks #because theyre so heavily influenced by non cherub culture #but even then. theyre not cis trans gay or straight. NO THEYRE NOT GAY EITHER #like yes theyre gay but that means. literally nothing to them. #in the cherub way? theyre 'straight'. but ppl arent out here calling them straight are they? #i have written a very bad essay in the tags #it seems