#and get your b12 checked

[thebibliosphere]

I've had a couple of messages over the last few days from folks saying things like, "Sorry, I can only afford to get your book through the library," and I need you to know I am gripping you by the shoulders, I am shaking you gently, and I am begging you stop apologizing for using library services.

After Amazon and Payhip, the quarterly checks I get from Overdrive/Libby are my biggest and most reliable source of income.

My readers have been nothing but feral in their quest to get Hunger Pangs into as many libraries as possible, and while library lending pays an exceptionally modest amount, if enough people do it (which many of you evidently are), those pennies add up.

I am guaranteed at least $20 a month in library lending royalties. That might not sound like much to some folks, but to me, that's my b12 supplements covered for the month. That's the thing I need to keep me alive paid for.

I will never resent anyone who uses libraries instead of buying books.

I'm a disabled author who lives month to month at the mercy of my medical expenses. Even though I have incredibly generous patrons and supporters, I know what it's like to not be able to afford things.

Use the library. Please.

Use it guilt-free. You're helping the library and the authors, probably more than you realize.

And if you're in the US and haven't signed up for a @queerliblib free library card yet, you should! it doesn't matter what state you're in, the Queer Liberation Library offers free access to their catalogue of queer media across the US.

And if you've got the means, maybe help them out with a little donation. They're only able to expand their collection via the support of their patrons, and the work they're doing is hugely important.

#author stuff #support your local library

[moreawesomethantheaveragepossum]

Every time I learn about a new symptom of b12 deficiency I'm like holy fuck another symptom of b12 deficiency!?

#another reason I'm glad I got that figured out lol #thanks dr. e #anyway ladies and trans gentlemen PLEASE DEAR GOD get your b12 levels checked. #im serious when I say my quality of life improved 10x when I started getting b12 shots. I was literally experiencing nerve damage

[femmefatalevibe]

Femme Fatale Guide: Top "Glow Up" Tips & Habits To Become The Best Version of Yourself

Prioritize the Holy Trinity: Nutrition, Movement, & Sleep. Following a whole-foods, plant-based diet with vegetables and/or fruit at every meal and limiting processed foods is one of the simplest ways to improve your overall health. Drink plenty of water, have any necessary supplements (like vitamin B12, vitamin D, omega 3s, etc.), and reduce your consumption of sugary, alcoholic, or caffeine-loaded beverages. Try to incorporate at least 30 minutes of walking and/or a simple 15-20 workout into your everyday routine. Make getting a full night's rest (usually 7-9 hours for most people) a non-negotiable in your life.

Practice Radical Self-Acceptance. Fully embrace your personal values. Get comfortable with your authentic desires. Define and set goals for yourself in every area of your life.

Nourish Your Body, Mind, and Spirit Consistently. Eat a healthful diet (enough food without overstuffing yourself), sleep and move enough throughout the day, and continue learning and educating yourself on current events, your industry/career field, art, culture, history, world languages, etc. Practice mindfulness and self-care activities. Honoring your sexual needs. Giving yourself at least one rest/reset day per week.

Cultivate Sustainable (and Personally-Fulfilling) Routines. Your sleep schedule, work/school schedule, workout schedule throughout the week, social and self-care time, date nights, time for your hobbies, errands, cleaning, and relaxation. Make appointments with yourself to empower you to fulfill all your daily tasks and activities to ensure you can work and play without burning yourself out in the process.

Set Boundaries. With your friends, family, work-life/professional network, romantic and sexual partners, and yourself. Understand your emotional, physical, and energetic limitations. Communicate them clearly, compassionately, and unapologetically. Cut toxic people out of your life. Avoid codependency like the plague. Nurture your healthy and supportive interdependent relationships regularly.

Learn What You Enjoy. Ensure To Incorporate These Products, Routines, and Relationships Into Your Day. It can be a piece of dark chocolate and a favorite T.V. show, a long evening phone call with a loved one, a hot bubble bath, or any other small luxury that gives you genuine pleasure and adds some necessary joy to your day.

Check In With Yourself Regularly. Pivot When Necessary. Self-improvement, goal setting, relationship building, and cultivating unshakeable self-love/life satisfaction takes time, experimentation, trial and error, and tons of self-reflection before you get it right in any area of your life. Be honest with yourself on what's work, what's not, where to remain consistent, and what areas of your life would benefit from a change.

#glow up #that girl #level up journey #healthy habits #goal setting #successhabits #success mindset #femme fatale #dark femininity #high value woman #dark feminine energy #it girl #the feminine urge #high value mindset #female excellence #dream girl #queen energy #female power #higher self #self love #healthyhabits #dream life #glow up tips #glow up era #glow up journey #girl advice #girl blogging #life path #life advice #femmefatalevibe

[salt-baby]

caught my younger sibling walking around with numb hands for weeks like that was normal so PSA theres some weak evidence that the following are common in POTS:

B12 Deficiency

- characterized by numb (pins and needles) hands and feet, which is persistent for days no matter what position your limbs are in

- take dissolvable B12 tablets once daily by holding them under the tongue for a couple minutes

- ideally those should be the like 2000000% DV ones, since B12 is water-soluble and near impossible to take too much of

- B12 shots can be prescribed for very severe deficiencies

- if this doesn't go away in like a week, See Your Doctor! these are peripheral neuropathy symptoms and that's something 1000% worth checking out ASAP

Magnesium Deficiency

- characterized by a tight kind of muscle soreness (for some reason always in my calves) that doesn't go away with rest

- others report tremors or being unable to keep the legs still

- either take a supplement daily or epsom salt baths

- be warned that oral magnesium works as a laxative, so start low and work your way up

Vitamin D Deficiency

- can cause fatigue and the "seasonal depression" kind of mood

- this is just really common in the general population, not just in people with POTS

- oral supplementation works fine, most daily vitamins have it

- in more severe cases your doctor can prescribe higher dose supplements

Also if you keep getting these symptoms all the time or it doesn't go away within a couple days of supplements, you probably need to see a doctor

#by weak evidence i mean theres like one doctor who observed this trend and it only kinda exists in research publications #but my personal experience is that i get these deficiencies recurrently #this is one of those things id classify as “not harmful if I'm wrong” #which is my litmus test for medical management without a doctor #all of these can cause fatigue and for anyone experiencing that its not a bad idea to try these #disability #ehlers danlos syndrome #chronic illness #postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome #salt baby talks #hypermobile ehlers danlos syndrome #heds #oh yeah that dr is dr. alan pocinki in a talk for the edSoc on fatigue in eds

[play-now-my-lord]

the american diet is vacuous, built around expensive staples and cheap filler. people seek out complete nutrition to the best of their ability without even consciously realizing they're doing it, which means if you're too poor to afford the shit that makes meals appropriate both in terms of calories and micronutrients, your choices are serious vitamin deficiencies or eating a thousand or more calories a day than you need.

being poor makes you fat because the alternative is death. vitamin deficiencies make you weaker, sicker, prone to injury, inflict full-spectrum degradation on the body and brain. compared to that the side effects of being overweight are pretty mild; choosing between a 4000-kcal diet which at least carries a pittance of most dietary minerals and a 2000-2500-kcal diet which does not should not be hard, and in fact the health industry tacitly or overtly encouraging the latter over the former is malpractice.

incidentally, if you want practical advice from this? if at all possible get your vitamin levels checked regularly (blood draws are usually sufficient for this) and educate yourself on which vitamin/mineral supplements are necessary and which ones are snake oil. learn the signs of common micronutrient deficiencies (D3, B12, iron, magnesium, calcium) and try to supplement them if at all possible. and learn how to store and take supplements - iron is poorly bioavailable except in heme form (usually animal-sourced, vegan heme iron is available but more expensive), D3 degrades rapidly in sunlight and needs to be kept in a UV-opaque container until you take it, etc.

a system that looks at a generation of fat kids and scary-skinny kids and prescribes discipline and surgery instead of better childhood nutrition is radically broken, possibly beyond repair.

[veganfairie]

i am a vegan on a fully plant based diet. i have an eating disorder. i am well. that doesn't mean everyone with an active eating disorder can safely make the switch like i did. nobody should pressure eating disorder sufferers into doing so, using people like me as an example. for some, having to check the nutrition labels is dangerous. when advocating for veganism, keep this in mind and encourage safe veganism!

if you have an eating disorder and wish to be vegan, here is how to start

use vegan skincare and make-up, check whether there is animal testing involved

switch to using vegan cleaning products, a cheap way to clean is to use vinegar and baking soda

avoid clothing made with animal fabrics

stop supporting animal entertainment, such as zoo's, aquariums, horse riding

adopt instead of buying from a breeder

consider switching into using vegan milks and yogurts and ice creams, they are in the same calorie range as real dairy

have the plant based option only when you feel comfortable with trying a new food, don't force yourself into transitioning quickly

use a b12 vitamin on top of your other vitamins, look for a vegan version of the ones you use

you have to learn where to get the nutrients you used to get from animal products. search for things like "plants with a lot of iron" instead of looking up the nutrients in a single item

you don't have to fully veganize a meal. for example, if a recipe calls for both meat and dairy, it's okay to only replace the one you have a safe alternative for. using coconut milk instead of cream but keeping the meat is a wonderful way to reduce the amount of animal products in your life!

veganism means doing what you can safely do, if you cannot transition fully yet, you are still vegan and completely valid <3

#vegan #veganism #animal rights #s #sv

[coldercreation]

PSA: 

If you have related to how I have described Nathan’s struggles with his mental health and some experiences with life; emotional, physical and social etc (ignore the story/his fam background for this; I mean if you have been able to relate to his feelings/anxiety/negative physical sensations etc.)

Might be worth it to get your blood checked. 

Especially B12, Vitamin D, Iron levels and Ferritin (ferritin should be 100+).

Building on top of the character, character background, and my research into trauma / mental health etc, I have always used a lot of my personal experience when describing emotions, feelings, and how mental health issues can feel like or present. It’s my attempt to make the writing feel realistic, had I experienced the things in the story or not. Aka even if the story was high fantasy and thus not realistic, I’d source my own feelings to make it ‘real’.

So. Regardless of what's causing it in the story: If you have ever related to how Nathan FEELS or describes his experience with the world and his brain… (Anxiety, depression, chronic fatigue, feeling like an outsider/in a fishbowl, easily overwhelmed or over tired; social withdrawal, social anxiety, heart palpitations, chest pains, breathlessness, dissociation, irritability, issues with cognitive function; memory, overthinking, insomnia, brain fog, panic attacks, slow recovery from physical activity, etc etc et fucking c) 

Turns out bish has been chronically deficient of many things for a very long time due to stomach issues that stopped nutrients from absorbing. Antidepressants have never successfully worked for me, and it’s now looking like that’s because my mental health stuff could've largely been a physical symptom, instead of just purely mental health?? 

I have been on a pile of supplements for a bit now and uhh… It’s like night and day? Even with the other health stuff I've been getting treated for, it's been... So much better?? Like. Life changing amount of difference?? And I’m only just starting out fixing these deficiencies, which could take a long time. But...

Holy shit, “Better” might actually be a real thing after all?? There was a reason I've been so "stuck"???

Kind of mad… And sad. Because if this is true and I keep feeling like I have been recently, it means I’ve lost a lot of time to this. I try to focus on how good I’ve been feeling though, and stay curious for this journey of what literally feels like a second chance at life.

Just… Wanted to post this in case it could help someone else. This is a highly personal experience, mental health issues absolutely exist on their own too and there's possibly often overlap as well. But stuff like this can make existing mental health conditions worse too, so either way it’s worth checking. 

Yeah. So.

Happy new year?

From someone who might be pulling a whole Phoenix moment???? xx

#Apologies for the silence here #Been going through a lot if you can imagine lol #I have a bunch of asks and messages to catch up to #I'm so sorry for taking forever #It might take me a bit longer still but I promise I'll get back on here at some point hopefully soon #Your messages mean so much to me<3 #Take care everyone <3 #Also #the description of Nathan's experience could and would still be rather accurate #even if you don't have these physical health issues!! #Depression and anxiety etc from a deficiency is still depression and anxiety #+ when I write Nathan I have a set of mental health “maps” or “guides” for his character (like C-PTSD and CEN and OCD) #Yes I use my own feelings and experiences to describe his anxiety etc #But his character is built around specific mental health markers / trauma research / symptoms etc (like C-PTSD and CEN and OCD) #So I'm pretty sure Nathan's POV would still look very similar based on just that research and ignoring the stuff in this post #Hope this all makes sense :'o

[balkanradfem]

Sharing what I've learned in my neck (recovery) journey!

I've been trying out lots of exercises, and I mean, I've been through every youtube video showing any kind of neck-related thing. The most exercises hurt so much I would often end up curled up on the floor crying in pain after trying once, so I didn't want to try those anymore.

Then I thought that, since I've been eating very poorly this summer (bad garden year) I very likely am lacking some minerals in my body, and maybe that's making the pain worse. It actually is getting worse, I can't turn my head sideways anymore without pain. I watched a few videos on nutrient deficiencies, and decided that I probably lack magnesium, which helps muscles relax; my muscles are incredibly stiff and upset at all times. I also watched a video on how a person can end up paralyzed without enough b12, and I've barely been taking any, despite my plant-based diet, so I quickly got that too.

Then I saw a video on vitamin D deficiency, and I had, every single symptom, just all of them, spot on. So I got a packet of that too. And then next day I found a video saying that supplemental D vitamin is BAD and I need to get some from sunbathing instead. It's winter?!?? And I can't walk outside for long because of the neck pain??? Like what am I supposed to do about this.

I've also gone back to taking nettle infusions to get enough calcium! I was hoping supplemental vitamin D would help me absorb calcium, but we'll see about that, I guess? I'm so mad at all the conflicting information but I don't now enough biology to make a reasonable guess to what's right.

Okay so I also, finally, found some exercises that are meant for neck pain that don't hurt, and I'm sticking to them, I've done them twice and did not come close to passing out in pain so I'm just gonna assume these are correct and do them. I also found out that a specific pain I had in my back, for about 5 years now, is called rhomboid pain, and there are exercises to fix it! And I can do most of them. Which is amazing, I'd be happy to fix any type of pain right now.

I've wanted to go and do a blood test to see just what nutrients I'm lacking, but apparently you can only check calcium levels if your bone density is measured, and I know my doctor won't do that, and for lots of other stuff like potassium (which I lack for sure), the body maintains normal level even when you're extremely out, because it draws it out of your muscles and bones so you'd have normal levels in your blood because otherwise you'd die. So you can't efficiently check, you can only notice your body deteriorating from the lack of it. Fun!

Another 'fun' info I've found was about ibuprofen, I had to take quite a few because I was sick, and I'm not used to taking pain medicine, so I went to check what it does, and it's like, cool stuff, it prevents the creation of hormones that cause your nerves to be sensitive, and also those that cause inflammation, so you're basically less sensitive to all the pain going on in your system. However, those same hormones are responsible for creating a layer of mucus in your stomach, and you need that mucus, in order to be protected from your own digestive acid. Taking ibuprofen for 3-4 days will not do you harm, but if you take it for longer, or if you have a chronic stomach issue, it is very likely that you will expose your own stomach tissue to your digestive acid! Which will damage your stomach and hurt a lot. So be careful with the ibuprofen ladies! I know she's a good friend of yours but I never knew how serious it was to take it too often.

#neck pain #finally some exercises I can do #finding out potentially fake youtube information #but one has to start somewhere #sadly the algorithm is making choices for me #health #nutrient deficiencies

[script-a-world]

Submitted via Google Form:

So I found out that blue is apparently rare in nature but I want it to in fact be relatively abundant in my world. Honestly for no apparent reason than it's my favourite colour and I want it to work in it. What would I need to change from real life in order to do that? Preferably from blue pigments but reflected light would also be great.

Tex: Blue is rare in nature because in order to produce what we perceive as blue, the red wavelengths of light need to be absorbed and not refracted out, so physical structures are usually relied upon instead (The University of Adelaide, Live Science). A lot of the work for this to be naturally-occurring was also covered in a previous ask.

However, there can be a shortcut to this - shift the wavelength band a little to the left and use ultraviolet. Flowers communicate with insects in UV light as a form of coevolution (Wikipedia), and when colour-corrected to a wavelength we can see, it comes across as blue.

Some examples:

Photo by Debora Lombardi (My Modern Net)

Photo by Craig Burrows (CPBurrows.com)

Feral: As Tex points out, nothing is going to appear blue if the people of your world cannot perceive the wavelengths of blue light. Even without UV, this trick of light is a popular option. Bluejays (and all birds with blue plumage) actually have feathers that are pigmented brown where we perceive blue because of a specific way air gets trapped in them.

However, another way to manipulate the proliferation of blue in your world is through geology and mineralogy. Tweaking the abundance of certain elements and how they are incorporated into the biochemistry of your world will change certain colors found in nature.

You can make certain blue rocks and minerals more prevalent. Basalt, slate, limestone, and sandstone are all common rocks that can appear blue. The mineral glaucophane can be mixed with basalt to create the metamorphic rock blueschist. Thus, the earth itself can appear more blue, rather the generally brown color we tend to associate with dirt, rocks, and sand. 

But metals and minerals are also very important in biochemistry as cofactors, nutrient minerals, and trace elements. Most people will know that iron is an important metal for humans because it carries oxygen in our blood stream, and this is why our blood turns red when it’s oxygenated - that’s what iron does. But crustaceans have a greenish-blue blood because the oxygen-carrier is hemocyanin, containing copper. Cobalt, important to Vitamin B12, is a nutrient mineral that comes to mind when I think of blue.

So what about the flora of the world?

Flowers and fruits get their coloration from two types of molecules: carotene and anthocyanin. Carotene pretty exclusively produces reds, yellows, and oranges. Anthocyanin generally produces reds and purples, but in the rare occasions a blue flower is produced, it can be due to a chemical complex called metalloanthocyanin, which contains magnesium, aluminium, or iron (or a combination). 

For a more scientifically robust look at coloration in flowers, including options other than metalloanthocyanin, check out this article, “Natural Blues: Structure Meets Function in Anthocyanins,” in the National Library of Medicine’s Center for Biotechnology Information Journal.

#google submitted #nature #colours #colors

[pathologising]

If you feel constant tiredness I recommend getting your B12 levels checked, my brain always felt tired and hazy and weekly B12 injections fixed it

yeah I'm gonna look into my vitamin levels bc im just so. Blargh always

[thebibliosphere]

Hi! Just wanted to tell you that I read one of your posts about pernicious anemia, and thought “well that sounds exactly like what my weird body issues ™️ have been like”, got my doctor to run tests, and it turns out my b12 was basically non-existent. Got medication fairly recently and am finally starting to feel better, and I just wanted to thank you so very much, I don’t think I would’ve thought about that possibly being the problem without you. Everyone just wrote it off as stress.

I'm so glad you're starting to feel better!

Unfortunately, pernicious anemia/low b12 is overlooked these days by a lot of doctors (it's less of a concern with our fortified diets and can often be masked by the high levels of folic acid that get added into cereal and flour) and is often mistaken for mood disorders or just "stress."

As a point of interest, after I was diagnosed, the hematologist who saved my life said that he thought it should be mandatory to test ALL patients with mental health issues for low b12 because just being even slightly low can severely affect mood stability.

So, y'know, it's been a while since I've posted about b12 deficiency, so for anyone new here, please include b12 checks in your annual blood workup. You never know what it might be affecting!

#chronic health tag #pernicious anemia

[rose-edith]

Angst Loneliness Part 5:

‘Y/N is in hospital. She got sick after the fall in the river and injured when she came looking for help last night. None of us noticed.’ Ducky’s words to the team were haunting them. Each person felt terrible. They suddenly remembered every time they’d bailed on you, or forgotten to invite you because ‘there wasn’t enough tickets’, or ‘it’s not your cup of milk’. (The latter being a Ziva twisted idiom.) But now as they all huddled together in the lift, they felt awful. Their minds went to you- you laid in the hospital bed with two drips and a heart monitor attached.

Gibbs hadn’t left your side. You hadn’t woken once in the whole time you’d been in the hospital, which as he checked his watch, turned out to be nearly eight hours. Gibbs ran a hand through his hair. He knew he should’ve called out last night when he saw you at the lift, that he should’ve actually checked on you hours earlier after the cold dip in the river. He’d failed in his duty as a boss.

The doctors had confirmed Ducky’s suspicion- pneumonia, a virulent strain. And you’d lost a lot of blood, which on top of your iron deficiency was less than ideal…Jethro was none the wiser about that little medical problem until he heard the doctors discussing that they should give you a B12 jab now to prevent further illness. But it clicked for Gibbs then, that’s why you’re so quiet and tired…you’re iron deficient- badly, by the sounds of it. He tries to recall if you ever told him. But he’s embarrassed to say he can’t actually remember ever having had any significant conversations with you.

You stir in your sleep, turning over a little. Gibbs feels his heart lift- is this the moment you wake up? Can he ask for forgiveness now? But you settle back down again.

And then Jethro’s world shatters…you settle down so well, so suddenly…the heart monitor begins to flatline, there’s no pulse. He starts shouting for the doctors and nurses, but they’re on the way with a crash cart anyway. Somehow Jethro gets pushed out of the room, helplessly watching through the glass as they try to revive you. His heart has stopped, he can’t look away, the whole world fades to one figure in a bed being crowded by shouting medical professionals. Paddles are applied to your chest. The word clear is shouted and a charge of electric administered…and…nothing.

One.

Two.

Three.

Four.

Five. Finally! A pulse, thready and weak, but there. He rubs a hand over his face, his heart can’t take much more of this…and yet the prognosis from the Doctors is bleak: you’re going to get worse tonight, and your chances of survival are poor. But if you survive the night you’ll be alright, yet the chances of that aren’t good.

He sighs. Tonight he won’t leave your bedside, he takes your hand in his, he’s going to be a friend now- something he should’ve been from the start.

#ncis #ncis x reader #ncis headcanons #leroy jethro gibbs imagine #ncis imagine #leroy jethro gibbs #mark harmon #leroy jethro gibbs x reader #leroy jethro gibbs headcanons #jethro gibbs #mark harmon x reader #jethro gibbs imagine #jethro gibbs x reader #jethro gibbs headcanons #ncis reader insert #ncis gibbs

[femmefatalevibe]

Femme Fatale Guide: Simple Tips For Healthy Eating & Exercising Habits

As someone who lost 30-40 pounds and has kept it off for over a decade, here are some practical ways to eat better and move more that still allow you to have a life and enjoy your food & workouts.

Tips for Healthy Eating Habits:

Adopt a healthier lifestyle out of self-love and improvement, not self-punishment or hatred

Shift into an abundance mindset: What foods and types of movement can you use to add/enrich your life? Focusing on what you're cutting out will only backfire

Prioritize produce: Find fruits and vegetables you love (a decent variety, around 5-10 options, is a good start)

Focus your meals on plant foods: While you don't need to cut 100% of animal foods out of your diet, making at least half of your plate fruits, vegetables, potatoes, or beans will help fill you up and support your vitamin requirements

Research & experiment until you find a rotation of healthy meals you love: Make your healthy eating routine as mindless and straightforward as possible. Once you find a handful of healthful breakfast, lunch, dinner, and snack options you enjoy, it becomes infinitely easier and more enjoyable to stick to a healthier lifestyle

Cook 80-90% of your meals at home. Know what's in your food. Control the amount of any added oil or sweetener you incorporate into any dish

Decide on at least 2 sweet and 2 savory healthy snack options you can always have on hand to support hunger or a craving throughout the day (mine are fruit bowls, a small bowl of oatmeal [with or without a few almonds], plain popcorn, carrots & hummus, and frozen edamame)

Have fun tea, coffee, and water options available: Always eat if you're truly hungry. But, for the times you're bored or stressed, having a vanilla or cinnamon tea, a cup of cold brew, or a lemon/fruit-infused water can satisfy your desire for some palette simulation

Be mindful of potential vitamin deficiencies: Your hair, skin, digestion, mental health, and energy can easily be on the rocks due to a vitamin deficiency. Get your levels checked to every year or two to ensure you're in optimal health. As a vegan who lives in a seasonal climate, I take B12 and vitamin D daily to keep up with these nutrient requirements

Allow yourself a weekly indulgence and splurge on special occasions. Prioritizing your health, not deprivation, is essential to make your life high-quality and worth living

Tips to Make Exercise More Effortless & Enjoyable:

Create 2-3, 60-120 minute (1-2 hour) playlists with different upbeat, EDM, or dance party vibes: Use these playlists to set the tone for a long walk or a gym workout

Keep a "Workout Bank" on your Youtube favorites list: Curate a handful of 10-30 minute pilates, strength training, or dance sculpting classes to always have an option available

Block your workout or walk into your schedule: Make a meeting on your calendar, set a reminder or an alarm with an upbeat song on your phone. Make a movement date, and prioritize yourself. It's for your health – your most priceless asset

Book a workout class with a friend. If you want to go solo, book it a week in advance, and tell at least 2 other people about your plans. Describe the workout class you're taking in as much detail as you can. Pique the other person's interest to incline them to ask you how it was after the class. This social pressure can make you feel more accountable to follow through with your workout in the end.

Dance around your room for 10-30 minutes in the morning before work, after work before dinner, or as a nightcap. Any movement counts

Practice moderation: Don't try to work out every day. Maybe you can get some steps in or have a solo dance party, but don't try to overdo it and stress out your body. This practice will only lead to quick burnout and no long-term motivation. Sustainable routines win the race

#healthy habits #diettips #exercise #healthylifestyle #femme fatale #dark feminine energy #dark femininity #it girl #queen energy #loa success #success mindset #dream girl #glow up #level up #high value woman #high value mindset #female excellence #female power #femmefatalevibe

[the-cult-of-russo]

Just Beneath The Flames (Part 5)

Pairing: Billy Russo x Reader

Warnings: cursing, smut at some point probably lmao zombie shit, typical canon violence. You know the drill.

A/N: Just want to remind everyone that I only have 8 chapters of this written up so far. Once those are posted it might be a little slower with updates. I’m trying to keep each chapter long, which is taking me longer to write them and I’m also super sick right now. And I mean like last night I collapsed and was in and out of consciousness and when I came to, I was being violently sick. Turns out my blood pressure took a nosedive and got super low. I’m B12 anemic and I think it’s related but I’ll guess I’ll find out when I see my doctor on Monday lmaooo. I’m in the middle of writing chapter 9 but obviously, I wasn’t able to finish it last night and I’ve been feeling pretty rough and out of it today. 

Also, this chapter wound up being 17 pages long and Tumblr was like ‘nah bro, you exceeded the text limit’. I don’t really want to put this as two separate chapters because it’s gonna fuck up my numbering system and I’m lazy and also, the last part of this just isn’t a standalone chapter, so I’m gonna do it as chapter 5.5 and post it right after this one. Fuck the text limit loooool  

—-----------------

You moved through the forest quietly, glancing around before you grabbed the arrow out of the squirrel and put it back in your quiver. You crouched, grabbing the squirrel before attaching it to the rope you had around your shoulder with a few other squirrels on it. You were hoping for at least some rabbit but the only thing you’d come across so far were the squirrels, so they’d have to do. You’d taken to hunting for a little more than you usually did so you could take some to Frank’s camp. It had been just over a week since the incident with the van and you’d been by the camp a couple of times with some meat for them, each time they appreciated it greatly. Apart from that, you hadn’t seen them much. Billy had told you the guys were going out all of the time hunting for a vehicle, but coming up empty-handed every time. You stood up fully and started to make the walk back to your treehouse. It was early morning and the air was crisper, telling you that you were on the cusp of winter. 

“Artemis, come in, this is Blackbird,” you heard from the walkie attached to your belt and you smiled to yourself as you grabbed it. 

“Go ahead, Blackbird,” you smirked teasingly as you slowly walked back. Every morning since you left with the walkie, Billy checked in with you and you’d chat for a bit. You’d admit you liked it. A niggling voice was in the back of your head telling you that you were making a mistake getting attached to these people, especially Billy. You’d grown fond of the group, although you didn’t know everyone very well, but they were good people. You’d especially grown fond of Karen and Frank, and then there was Billy. He’d jokingly mentioned that you’d bonded but it wasn't really a joke. Your time with him had made you feel a little attached to him and it worried you. He’d been so kind and encouraging to you and you hadn’t even worn your scarf since he’d spoken to you about it. He was worlds away from the man you met when he held a gun to your head but that was because he trusted you now, and you trusted him. It was nice knowing someone had your back but it was also scary as you knew what happened when you got attached to people. You’d tell yourself it would be best to create distance but then you’d think of the kids eating nothing but canned food and then having nothing left for winter, so you’d end up hunting so they’d have something to eat. Or Billy would radio you in the morning and you couldn't resist talking to him with a stupid smile on your face. You were getting sucked in and you knew you were and despite the voice in your head screaming at you to stop, you couldn't. 

“You out huntin’?” he asked over the walkie.

“Yeah, got a few squirrels but there’s nothing else here,” you sighed. You were worried about how scarce the meat was getting and you knew it would only be worse in the winter. 

“Hey, squirrel is still food,” he murmured and you could practically hear the smirk. 

“I know… I’m just hoping more will turn up. We need to make it through the winter,” you mused with a frown, unsure of just when you started using we and not I. 

“We’ll be fine. Still got a bunch of canned shit and once we find a car, we’re gonna hit up some stores,” he soothed and you nodded even though he couldn't see it. 

“How’s the hunt going?” you asked, still feeling that pang of guilt even though Billy had chided you more than enough times at this point that it hadn’t been your fault. He was quiet for a long moment before he replied.

“We’re still lookin’,” was his short reply and you knew it was short for a reason. It would only make you feel worse if he went on and on about how they hadn’t found anything yet but you knew they must all be feeling frustrated. 

“Anyway, got any plans later? You should come by for dinner and stop puttin’ it off or Karen’s gonna come by the treehouse and drag you here,” he snorted and you rolled your eyes good-naturedly.

“I’m not putting it off…” you muttered even though it was a lie. You had been putting it off because the more time you spent with the group meant bonding with them more. 

“Yeah, yeah. Just come for dinner so I got someone interestin’ to talk to,” he murmured and you heard Frank yell an offended ‘hey’ before he’d stopped the walkie and it made you laugh.

“I’ll think about it. When I’m done with these squirrels I’m gonna head to that little store west of here, see if they’ve got any salt,” you replied. You’d already planned on going by anyway to drop off the meat for them so you knew they wouldn’t let you leave without having dinner, not tonight. The small store you were planning on going to was one of very few in walking distance and all the others had been picked clean. This one had been mostly bare the last time you’d been there but you hoped salt might have been something overlooked and you really needed some to preserve the meat you had.

“Need me to come with?” was his immediate response and you smiled to yourself.

“Nah, I’m good. You just keep looking for a car or something with the guys,” you uttered softly, a warmth spreading in your chest that he’d offered anyway and you knew if you’d said yes, he wouldn't have any issues about it. 

“Alright, make sure you stay safe. I’ll keep my walkie on if you need me,” he said firmly and once again you nodded without a real need to.

“I will, you guys do the same,” you replied.

“Copy that. Blackbird, over and out,” he ended and you snorted as you clipped your walkie to yourself once again. 

You got to work with the squirrels and it took a few hours to get done since they were small and fiddly. You separated it and bagged it up like you always did and then buried them to keep them cool for when you got back. The idea of going for dinner there made you feel torn in two. Part of you wanted to go, craved the companionship you felt whenever you were in the camp. Everyone always made you feel welcome and gave you a warm reception and you really enjoyed talking to Karen and Frank. A part of you also wanted to see Billy again but you tried to shake it. The last thing you needed was to start depending on anyone else, it would only be harder when you were alone once again. You emptied your backpack, only bringing with you a bottle of water and one can of soup in case of emergencies where you might be caught out there longer than you wanted and you also took your knife strapped to your thigh. You toyed with the idea of bringing your bow on the off chance it would be needed but you didn’t want to take too much. In a perfect world, there would also be some food left over in the store and you’d be bringing it back for you and the other camp.

You set off out and avoided the road, sticking to the tree line for some cover as you walked. You were still wary after what happened with Billy, not knowing if there was a new group in these parts you needed to be wary of. And with you being alone, it would make you an easy target. You weren’t in a rush so you took your time and tried to enjoy the walk. You were still on high alert but it didn’t mean you didn’t try to find the beauty in nature, even if the world had gone to hell. When there were no signs of the dead roaming around it was actually quite peaceful. You’d always loved nature, it had always brought you great peace to be out in the wilderness, although you never thought you’d wind up living in it. It took almost an hour with your leisurely pace before you finally saw the store. You took a moment to look around at the deserted road before you felt comfortable enough to expose yourself from the trees. There were three dead ones wandering around outside the store and you readied your knife, plunging it into the eye of the closest one as it made a move to grab you. It drew the attention of the other two who turned to you, stumbling their way over. Once you took care of those two, you walked over to the door, banging on it a few times. No noise greeted you so you pushed the door open, eyes rapidly sweeping the place to assess for threats. Luckily, it was safe and you walked inside and shut the door. The shelves were mostly empty and seemed to house mostly useless items, but as you walked around to where the salt and condiments were, a grin broke out on your face when you saw the salt. You grabbed all of the containers, knowing even this wouldn't be enough and would run out quicker than you’d like, but it meant you’d be able to preserve at least some meat for the winter. You wondered if maybe you’d be able to bag another deer before it was too late and then you could ration it through the harsher months. With your bag filled with salt, you decided to rummage around and see what else could be here hiding among the stuff most people left behind. You found some dried herbs and decided to take them. While they weren’t essential, it wouldn't hurt to spice up your shitty canned goods for once or even season the meat. You found a large ball of thick twine and you knew it would come in handy so you took that too, then went behind the counter to have a look. You found a small first aid kit under the counter that you presumed was for the staff. As you rifled through it, it didn’t have everything and was more for minor injuries but you took it anyway, hoping Curtis could make use of it at least. You found a jar of Nutella and a jar of peanut butter and figured the kids would love the treat so you shoved them in your bag too, just as your walkie went off.

“You there, Artemis?” Billy’s voice rang out and you grabbed the walkie from your belt.

“I’m here,” you answered as you continued to nosey around.

“Guess who found a pick-up truck?” he asked, sounding like he was smiling. The hand that had picked up a box of cereal stilled as a smile of your own overtook your face.

“Really?” you asked excitedly and he laughed over the walkie.

“Yeah, runs good and shit. I was out with Curt and we finally caught a break,” he grinned. 

“That’s awesome, I’m really happy for you guys,” you said softly. It also made some of your guilt ease a little, like every day that passed they didn’t have a vehicle and it hindered them going for runs, it made you feel worse. But now they had a car and the only thing they were missing were supplies. 

“What are you doin’ right now?” he asked, still sounding like he was smiling a little.

“I’m at the store,” you answered, finally looking at the box in your hand and realizing it was disappointingly open and empty and you set it back down.

“Find anythin’ good?” he asked curiously.

“Not too much but I found some stuff. I got salt too,” you grinned at the last part of your sentence. 

“Looks like we’re both havin’ good luck today,” he laughed lightly and you smiled.

“If you wanna wait there, we can come by and get you. It’s on the way back anyway and then you can come for dinner,” he offered. Part of you told yourself to say no, home wasn’t too far and it wasn’t like you really needed a ride. But the other part wanted to see him and your mouth seemed to be listening to that part of your brain.

“Alright, I’ll see you soon,” you murmured. 

“See you soon. Blackbird out,” he said, always taking the walkie talk so seriously when you greeted each other or ended the conversation and it made you snort. You carried on looking around the store while you waited but came up empty-handed. You even tried getting into the back room but the door wouldn't budge and the stench of death seemed to seep out from under it. You wondered if someone had died or killed themselves in there and they were slumped against the door, you didn’t care enough to force your way in. You were walking back through the store when something caught your eye under one of the shelves and you walked over, crouching and peering under it. It was a can of some sort and as you reached for it, you accidentally knocked it further under the shelf.

“Mother fucker,” you huffed, stretching your arm even more and not feeling too great about being so up close and personal with the gross floor. Your fingertips touched the can and while you had no clue what was in it, you really fucking wanted it anyway. In the midst of your struggle, you heard a car engine and you hoped Billy wouldn’t walk in while you were lying on the dirty floor, desperately trying to get the can because you knew you’d never hear the end of it. But just as you managed to roll the can a little closer to you and the engine stopped, you then heard another engine. Your body tensed but then you tried to calm yourself, wondering if maybe Frank and the others had also found a car too. You weren’t quite sure why your brain decided to be hopeful for a moment and you were quickly reminded why it was a stupid way to think as you heard yelling outside. 

You left the can where it was, standing up quickly with your knife at the ready. You couldn't see through the glass at the front of the store as it was all covered in a thick layer of dust and grime. You stood as close as you could to try and hear what was going on and used your sleeve to wipe away a tiny amount of the dirt. There was a man standing just in front of the shop door pointing a gun at Billy who was also aiming his gun at the man. The gun the other man had wasn’t a handgun like Billy’s though, it looked like some sort of semi-automatic rifle but you couldn't be too sure, you weren’t a gun person. You moved to look better before you spied Curtis on the ground, some blood on his head and he was out cold. It made a spark of anger flash right through you and part of you wondered if this was one of the guys from the other day, a thought that was confirmed when you saw the black van you knew used to be owned by Frank and Billy. The other vehicle was a Ford Ranger pickup truck.

“Just take me to your camp, man,” the man demanded in a smarmy tone.

“Like hell I will. I wouldn’t tell you that shit even if I was on my last breath,” Billy snarled, glaring at him. The man looked off to the side, in your direction, and you jumped up and out of the way, worried he’d be able to see you through the tiny bit of clean glass. It had the opposite effect of you staying concealed though when you accidentally bumped backwards into a stand that contained decaying postcards and it tumbled to the floor with a clatter. 

“I’m starting to think there’s something in there you really don’t want me to find,” you couldn't see them anymore but the man sounded like he was smirking, his tone condescending. 

“And why would you think that?” Billy asked harshly, but you picked up in the very faint waiver of his voice.

“You keep looking over my shoulder at the door and I don’t think it’s one of the dead that made that noise,” he answered patronizingly. The door started to open and you darted behind a shelf, peeking out to see the man walking backwards into the store doorway, not stupid enough to turn his back to Billy. You wondered if Billy hadn’t shot him yet because of the gun the man was holding. 

“You’re makin’ a big mistake,” Billy warned darkly and your hand tightened around your knife as you tried to think of a plan. 

“And why’s that? All I wanted was for you to take me to your camp,” the man smirked.

“Right, so you could kill us all,” Billy snorted and you could just imagine his brows raised like he did when he was being sassy.

“You could have walked away from this scott-free,” the man countered and Billy barked out a harsh laugh.

“You really think I believe that bullshit?” he asked. You weren't sure if Billy was stalling, giving you time to leave out of the back door. And even though that wasn’t really a possibility because it was blocked, you wouldn't have run and left him to face this alone anyway. You crept silently with a tight grip on your knife. The man was in the doorway, his back to you and blocking your line of sight to Billy. That was good though, it meant Billy couldn't see you either and possibly give you away. You were slow to keep quiet as Billy and the guy argued, Billy working mostly on trying to piss him off by insulting him. When you got close enough, you sprang up and shoved the knife roughly into the base of his skull just like you’d do to one of the dead. You didn’t feel any remorse as the gun clattered to the ground and you yanked your knife back out, blood gushing from his wound as he fell to the floor and Billy was now there staring at you with wide eyes. You were just glad the man hadn’t squeezed the trigger when you stabbed him, the possibility hadn’t even crossed your mind until the gun hit the floor. 

There was a beat of tense silence as your chest heaved, rolling both shoulders to loosen yourself up.

“You alright?” he asked after a moment. His dark eyes were assessing you, looking concerned. 

“I should be asking you that, you’re the one that had a gun pointed at you,” you muttered. 

“Right… But you just killed a man,” he frowned. It occurred to you then that he might think you’d never done that before. You knew he had, you’d seen him and Frank do it the night you’d met. But you never really spoke to Billy about some of the things you’d done since the world went to shit. You didn’t get any joy from killing people and it had only ever happened when they’d put you in a position to have to pick between your life or one of your old group’s lives or theirs. You’d never killed an innocent person. You had, however, become desensitized to it over time and you’d admit you had more compassion for the animals you killed for food than you did for the bad people that took advantage of the state of the world.

“It’s not my first rodeo, Billy. I’m fine,” you murmured. His eyes still looked concerned for a moment but he seemed to believe you as he nodded before he looked over to the side. It was then you remembered Curtis. You followed after him as he went over and crouched beside his friend, tapping him on the face.

“Curt, come on. Wake up!” he insisted. After a few harsh taps to the face. Curtis groaned as his eyes fluttered open.

“What happened?” he mumbled, blinking wearily as he touched his head, bringing his hand to his face and seeing some blood. 

“You got knocked out. Don’t worry, he’s taken care of,” Billy muttered darkly, helping Curtis sit up. 

“At least we found your van though,” you said with a wry smile and when Curtis glanced over to it, he smiled despite it all. 

“This guy with the ones that shot at you then?” he asked, letting Billy help him to his feet and he leaned against the truck.

“If the gun he was carryin’ was anything to go by, I’d say yeah,” Billy huffed. Billy walked over to the van, presumably to check if their stuff was still in there but you held no hope for that with the time that had passed. But still, having two vehicles in this world was a lot better than one. While Billy checked out the van, you got a bottle of water out of your bag and some gauze from the first aid kit you’d found, cleaning Curtis’ wound so you could see it better.

“What's the verdict, Doc?” he asked teasingly and you snorted.

“It doesn't look too bad, I don’t think it’ll need stitches. You might have a concussion though, but I’m presuming you know how you take care of yourself with that,” you murmured wryly and he nodded with a smile as you put a large bandaid over his cut.

“What the fuck?” Billy hissed and both you and Curtis looked over, seeing him standing near the open driver’s door with some papers in his hand.

“What is it?” Curtis asked warily and Billy gave him a look you couldn't quite place before he walked over and handed the papers to Curtis. 

“Was the stuff in the back?” you asked carefully. Billy didn’t look at you, his eyes pinned to Curtis as he read the paper but he did shake his head in answer. Despite already knowing that would be the case, you still felt disappointed. 

“Holy shit,” Curtis frowned as he flicked through the papers and you really felt like you were missing something here. 

“We need to get back to Frank,” Billy said gravely. You wanted to ask what was going on but decided to keep your mouth shut. Billy looked more pissed than you’d ever seen him and you’d thought you’d seen him pretty angry when the guys stole the van and rained bullets down on you both. This was different though and it made you feel a little nervous and tense. 

You were in the black van with Billy on the way back and Curtis drove the truck. You’d tried to insist you’d drive since he was possibly concussed but he’d adamantly refused so you wound up with Billy. The air was thick and tense, filled with silence as he drove with a thunderous face. You’d told yourself not to ask, not to get involved since this wasn’t your group and none of your business, yet you couldn't help the curiosity that was gnawing at you from the inside out at how he was behaving. 

“So… am I allowed to ask what’s going on?” you asked warily. Part of you expected him to snap at you with how he was looking, but instead, he glanced at you for a moment before looking back out to the road with a sigh.

“You said you knew who Frank was before, right? The Punisher?” he asked.

“Yeah…” you answered, curious where this was going. His hands tightened on the wheel and he rolled his shoulder, glaring out at the road.

“You heard about what happened to his family?” he asked, a hard edge to his voice.

“Yeah… Didn’t it turn out to be some military guy?” you asked, remembering when it all came out about the man higher up in the military who had arranged it all. The media had a field day with all that shit when it came out. The man had been on the run by that point since he’d been found out but they never got a chance to catch him as the world fell apart soon after. 

“Yeah. His name was Rawlins, but back in the Marines we knew him as Agent Orange. Guy was a piece of work, in charge of a squad me and Frank were on. It was some real bad shit… and I’m-I’m talkin’ about Phoenix Program kinda shit. Anyway, this asshole was the one to kill Frank’s family, tried to kill Frank too but the bastard's too tough to let a bullet in the head take him out,” he rambled and you watched him carefully, noticing how tightly wound he was, how his voice cracked when talking about the family. You knew Frank and Billy were best friends and they’d served together but you didn’t know everything. You did remember Karen’s words about how Billy lost just as much as Frank did and it was obvious Billy cared about Frank’s family too. It made sense given what he’d told you about growing up without his own family in the system. 

“The asshole back there… he had some documents in here that has Rawlins’ name on ‘em,” he bit out after a while of you not knowing what to say and your brows furrowed a little.

“And you think he’s connected to him?” you asked hesitantly. He let out a mirthless chuckle as he once again rolled his shoulder.

“I don’t believe in coincidences,” he muttered with a shake of his head. 

You weren’t really sure what to say to him to make him feel better. You could sit there and try to convince him that it could be a coincidence but you weren’t about to do that when it could turn out this was connected. This was clearly a sore subject for him and you felt at a loss. You also felt a little uncomfortable at being there when he broke the news to Frank who was probably going to take it just as well as Billy was. 

“You can just drop me off on the way there,” you murmured after what felt like the longest uncomfortable silence in your life. He turned to you then, a grin on his face that was in complete juxtaposition to how angry he seemed.

“If I do that, Karen’ll kill me. You’re supposedta come for dinner, remember?” he asked with a raised brow. 

“That was before all this. I mean… I don’t think Frank and everyone else want to be told this shit with a stranger there,” you countered with a wary look. He frowned then, all amusement once again gone from his face.

“You need to stop doin’ that shit,” he muttered, his tone harsh and it made you blink at him.

“What shit?” you asked defensively. 

“You’re not a stranger to us. You think I don’t know what you’re doin’? You’re pushin’ yourself away from the group, tryin’ to act like you aren’t part of it. And yeah, you’re not part of the group as in you stay with us, but you’re still part of the fuckin’ group, Y/N. You’re still one of us,” he scolded and you looked away from him. You hadn’t thought it was obvious what you were doing and if you were honest, it was uncomfortable as hell to be called out on it to your face. Despite his words, you didn’t feel like part of the group, didn’t feel like one of them. You’d integrated somewhat, an acquaintance. Maybe even a friend. But it didn’t mean you felt like you belonged there with these people who already knew each other before the world went to shit. The people who already had a history and you were the only odd one out. 

“I need to swing by my place and get the meat anyway, so you could just drop me off and I’ll get it and come by,” you murmured, very obviously avoiding the topic at hand. The look he gave you made it obvious he knew what you were doing but he blew out a sigh.

“Alright,” he huffed, clearly not happy about it. You hoped if you took your time enough that the awkward talk would be done before you got there. The rest of the ride felt even more tense and you weren’t quite sure why. Maybe it was because Billy seemed like he was in a mood with you over you leaving but you weren’t sure why it was such a big deal. You had no idea who this Rawlins fucker was except from what you’d seen in the news. This whole thing seemed very private and very personal and you weren’t part of it. When Billy pulled up, you glanced at him warily, not liking how your stomach twisted uncomfortably because he wasn’t happy with you. You wondered just when the fuck you started caring so much.

“I’ll see you soon,” you mumbled, grabbing your bag from the floor. His eyes softened for a moment then as he looked at you and nodded.

“If you don’t come for dinner, I’ll send Karen,” he smirked and the relief you felt that he wasn’t being an asshole with you was immense. You snorted and shook your head.

“I’ll be there,” you relented, a smile toying on your lips as you slipped out of the car. 

Taglist: (if you’ve been asked to be tagged and aren’t here, it wouldn’t let me tag some people.)

@firexfate

@blanchedelioncourt

@ariesbutalibra

@sunshinedaisies-anddeath

@snowkestrel

@music-indie-tv

@idaofinfinity

@sweetserendipity65

@ramadiiiisme

@k-marzolf

@celestialams

@woowwwee

#billy russo imagine #billy russo fanfic #billy russo x reader #billy russo

[transitjournal]

MtF HRT Hierarchy

This one covers MtF HRT only, FtM HRT deserves it's own blog. Here's a quick information handwritten by me. From now, I'll use those abbrevations;

CPA = Cyproterone Acetate

E2 = Estradiol

P4 = Progesterone

T = Testosterone

AA = Antiandrogen

E2

Common brand names; Estrofem, Progynova, Cyclo-Progynova, Delestrogen, Estradot

First things' first, Estrogen is very important thing, and without it feminization is almost impossible. There are four types of estrogens, Estrone, Estradiol, Estriol, Estetrol. Estradiol is the most potent one and found in higher levels in women of reproductive age. We have to take estradiol. Estrone usually is found higher levels in post-menopausal women, and it only provides very very little (almost nonexistent) feminization. When you take estradiol orally, some of it is converted to estrone by your liver. So it's important to check your estradiol-to-estrone ratio with your endo to get sufficient feminization. If you are taking E2 injections or sublingually, it's probably E2 Valerate, which is less potent than E2 Hemihydrate (but it's good, since you're probably taking higher doses of it and it skips liver in those administrations). E2 Hemihydrate is recommended for oral administration since it's more potent, and bioavailability is reduced since it's being processed by liver. So it's important to get more potent form of E2 if you take it orally. E2 Cypionate is very similar to E2 Valerate, and it's usually found in intramuscular/subcutaneous injections. If E2 Valerate injections in your local pharmacy are out of stock, you can get E2 Cypionate they basically do the same thing.

AA

Common brand names; Aldactone, Androcur, Proscar, Propecia, Casodex

An antiandrogen may seem like eye candy, but it's important for us girls to suppress our gonadal function. So that way, we can use less dose of E2 to get sufficient feminization. An antiandrogen, depending on what type of AA it is, usually suppresses your gonadal production of Testosterone and Dihydrotestosterone and prevents your androgen receptors from absorbing them. Every kind of it does it different though. CPA is known for both reducing T production and nuking androgen receptor function, can also be used in very low doses to have effect. Due to stupid regulations of FDA, this drug is not available in the United States, leaving trans folks there with only three other options; Spironolactone, Bicalutamide and Finasteride. Finasteride, as much as I know, only blocks the potent form of T called DHT (Dihydrotestosterone) which is only acts on skin, hair follicles, prostate gland and testicles. It does not stop or block the effects of testosterone, so it's not really what we actually want. Bica and Spiro, unfortunately does not reduce T levels, but they block androgen receptors so the T and DHT in your body is moving freely, without binding to receptors and I think it's better than nothing. Those ones is the most with side effects, so it's important to read what others experiencing, share with others and talk to your endo about it. Also, most AAs are known to cause vitamin B12 deficiency, and B12 deficiency is a serious thing. I suggest you to get your vitamin B12 levels checked if you are using AAs for longer period of time. I am not including GnRH antagonists, since technically they're not antiandrogens and I don't know much about them yet. You can get more information on r/asktransgender about GnRH antagonists if you'd like.

P4

Common brand names; DepoProvera, Depo-SubQ Provera 104, MPA, and Provera

This is the most controversial one, even in our community. Some say P4 does wonders for their breast growth, mental mood and even their sleep patterns. Some say it fixed their "cone" shaped breasts. Some say it didn't do nothing for their transition. The thing is, Progesterone is almost not present in adolescent cis girls, and it's function in trans women is very understudied. Progesterone is at peak levels at cis women aged 20-24. Personally, I think taking progesterone before your first 2-4 years of HRT is unnecessary, give your body time to adjust then you can add P4 to the mix (If you want). Since it's our second puberty, following the natural pattern of cis female puberty is more ideal for me. I think more funding is required for trans studies to see P4 effects on us girls. Feel free to share your thought about this!

T

This one is very rarely used in with us trans women. It is usually prescribed by request of patient, and 99.99% of time it's prescribed after surgical removal of gonads (Genital reconstruction surgery/vaginoplasty or orchiectomy). The target is to reach cis female range of testosterone and retrieve some of libido, and mood changes like self-confidence. The effects of T in females is similar to effects in males, but some doctors don't agree with the fact T has to do with libido in females. If you're one of gals using it, feel free to share with me about your experience.

#transgender #mtf #estradiol #estrogen #mtf hrt #mtf hormones #mtf girl #trans woman #trans women #lgbt #lgbtq #transgirl #transgender female #transgender hormones

[jerzwriter]

18: Favorite beverage? 19: What do they think about before falling asleep at night? 22: Given a blank piece of paper, a pencil, and nothing to do, what would happen? 39: Would you say that they have a superiority-complex? Inferiority-complex? Neither?

For all your pairs. Thank you!

Hey @kyra75! For all! You're not going easy on me, are you? lol JK JK Here goes:

Favorite Beverage:

Carolina (COP): Coffe, black. If she's making it herself, or Uncle Tommy is making it? Cafe con leche. No one else does it right. Trystan (COP): Agave Mojito Smoothie from Agavi Organic Juice Bar in NYC. ( Pineapple, lemon, banana, mint, raw agave, and coconut water. He gets it with a B12 infusion and goji berries).

Casey (OH): She hates to admit it, but Diet Coke. She also loves a good chai latte. Tobias (OH): I kind of wrote a fic about his weird ass tea order. lol it wasn't supposed to be canon, but let's go with that. I also think he's one of those annoying people that actually likes water (and it will piss Casey off lol)

Kaycee (OH): Hot chocolate, or sweet wines. Ethan (OH): I mean.. Scotch followed by coffee. That's canon. lol

Eli, Zoe, Troy (WTD): In this world, it's whatever the hell they can get. If they get clean water, they're happy. When the Sunflowr Creek crowd introduces them (well at least Z and T) to fruit juice, they're elated.

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What do they think about before falling asleep at night?

Carolina (COP): Did she lock the door? Turn the stove off? What about the iron? Did she leave the water running? Or the fridge door open? And poor dear often gets up to check... until Trystan starts staying over. He's like "OK we've got to introduce you to melatonin." Trystan (COP): On a good night? Carolina. On a bad night? Juliana, Seb, and things he'd love to forget.

Casey (OH): Tobias or their girls. Tobias (OH): Casey or their girls. NOTE: That's when they're thinking of anything; often, they just pass out - happily.... 😏

Kaycee (OH): Usually what she has on her agenda first thing in the morning. She makes mental lists to make sure she's ready for what she has planned. Ethan (OH): See Kaycee's... but he's throwing in a 5:00 AM jog. She's throwing in a wondering why when ever agreed to be with a man who gets up for 5:00 AM jogs in there....

Zoe (OH): She likes it best when she is exhausted and just passes out. Like all others in her world, there has been too much trauma so thoughts before sleep are often not good. Eli (OH): Ironically, he used to be the same. But when he's going to sleep with Zoe, the bad thoughts never come.

Given a blank piece of paper, a pencil, and nothing to do, what would happen?

Carolina (COP): Answered for her here. Trystan (COP): He's either doodling or writing notes to Carolina.

Casey (OH): Hearts, stars, bunnies, and yes, goofy little hearts with "Tobias & Casey." He tells her she's still an adolescent but finds it adorable. Tobias (OH): Probably nothing; he always has something to read, and that's his preference. But he might make lists or write notes to Casey.

Kaycee (OH): Song lyrics that are stuck in her head. Things she needs from the store, goofy notes to Ethan. Ethan (OH): For the longest time, it's practical... lists, plans, things to do. But after he takes up painting, there is a 50/50 chance you'll find him sketching something he wants to do.

Zoe (WTD): She is drawing 100%. Canon says she's a good drawer, and I wrote that into my HC, so that's what she's doing. Eli (WTD): It's canon that he is NOT a good drawer. lol So I think he ignores the pen and paper and looks for his bow to get back to maintenance. lol

Would you say that they have a superiority complex? Inferiority-complex? Neither?

Carolina (COP): Neither. She is extremely confident when it comes to most things, but not in an unhealthy way. She's aware of her foibles and her humanity. Trystan (COP): He does have a bit of a superiority complex when it comes to many, but not all, things. But it's not in a toxic, narcissistic way. It's was more of a defense mechanism most of his life that he's left in place, but in a humorous way.

Casey (OH): Casey can be confident, but that was a hard-fought battle. She can be terribly insecure at times, but she keeps it hidden so only those closest to her know that. Tobias (OH): Well... lol. Yeah, our boy has a bit of a superior complex. It's gotten a little better since he's gotten older and Casey whipped his ass into shape. But he still thinks pretty highly of himself.

Kaycee (OH): Neither, she's a good balance. Ethan (OH): Uhm. Yeah, he has a superiority complex, but only in some areas. Work? 100%. Personal life, he has a bit of an inferiority complex.

Zoe (WTD): She can be very confident, but not in an unhealthy way. But when she closes the door to her room, she has to learn to stop the self-doubt. Eli (WTD): He can be very over-confident and sarcastic, but he really doesn't have a complex other than a "people need to stop annoying me" complex. lol

Thanks for the asks - Kyra! <3

#detailed asks #tobias x casey asks #carolina x trystan asks #ethan x kaycee asks #eli x zoe asks #asks answered