#and give him a nice little cozy room where he can take a goddamn nap

[whumpmatsus]

closer. [ Nenchuumatsu ]

In which Ichimatsu realizes that he enjoys being taken care of more than he wants to admit. Of course, the fact that he practically begs Choromatsu to stay while he feels bad is almost an admission.

The house is so cold tonight.

Or perhaps, just perhaps, it’s only Ichimatsu who’s cold. Because as far as he can tell, the temperature doesn’t seem to be bothering a single one of his brothers.

Meanwhile, he can’t seem to get warm no matter how hard he tries. He’s spent most of the day withdrawn from the rest of the family except for (or maybe including?) when he attempted to nap under the kotatsu. Choromatsu had to drag him out, insisting that one couldn’t sleep so close to an electric heat source, that Ichimatsu was going to end up burned if he did that, and chiding as usual, “What is wrong with you, Ichimatsu??”

Honestly, fuck if he knows what’s wrong. Apparently something given how he appears to be the only one freezing his ass off.

That’s the only odd thing he’s noticed so far today, other than being abnormally tired. But that part he chalks up to his selfish eldest brother stumbling in blind drunk last night and waking them all up, so it’s not too surprising. Most of the others end up sleeping on and off through the day, as well.

It’s just… unbearable. It’s like the cold has seeped into his bones, making his whole body stiff, and making him even grumpier than usual. The others markedly avoid him, seeing how irritated he is, probably too afraid of his wrath to ask if anything is going on.

He hates that more than anything. Although he likes time to himself and being left alone for the most part, he wishes someone would just ask. Then he could admit that, yeah, he’s not feeling so great. (If it’s anyone besides Karamatsu.) He might get a little fussing, some hands run through his hair or a hot cup of tea brought to him or a sympathetic, “Aww, poor Ichimatsu.”

That’s pathetic, isn’t it? He’s a grown man silently wishing for his dumb brothers to treat him like a little kid. If he really wanted it, surely he would just open his mouth and say so.

He… definitely can’t do that. Not without prompting. Not without being asked. That’s too Goddamn embarrassing.

That might be why, when he wakes up in the middle of the night, unable to stop shivering and feeling like his whole face is on fire, he doesn’t wake up any of his brothers.

Instead, he sneaks out of the futon like a teenager coming home after curfew, he goes into the other room, and he curls up on the couch.

Maybe one of the others will come looking for him. Maybe not. Maybe he could sleep all night here and not have to be near them. If he’s come down with something, it’s probably better that he tries to avoid them anyway, right? The six of them can bounce one stupid cold back and forth for weeks. They all just got over one. If he can keep from infecting any of them again, hopefully the house won’t be a fucking petri dish for the entire winter like it typically is.

He’s not sure how long he’s attempted to rest here when he feels someone’s hand, gentle and cautious, shaking his shoulder. “Ichimatsu? Ichimatsu, hey… how come you’re in here?”

Ah. It’s Choromatsu. The simple act of lifting his head causes Ichimatsu’s body to protest. There’s a horrible, squeezing pain clamped down on his teeth, and just breathing is painful; every inhale of air stings. He closes his eyes immediately, a clear grimace of pain etched onto his features.

Everything has gotten worse from when he initially woke up. His face is burning from the inside, and he’s got the worst headache of his life. It bears down like a vise around his head, stabbing from every angle. “Fuck…”

He doesn’t even think he has the energy to pretend he doesn’t want someone else here. His head is turned down against the cushions and an incredibly embarrassing whine forces its way out of him. “Don’t feel good.”

“O-oh… oh, gosh, that’s not good.” Obviously. But Choromatsu is trying, so any biting comments Ichimatsu might think up are kept to himself. “What doesn’t feel good? Is it your head?”

A nod is what he gets first, then Ichimatsu amends it by making a wide, circling gesture in front of his face. “All of it… I’m all stuffy… hurts to breathe through my nose… pain in my teeth…”

The cool hand of his older brother sets carefully against Ichimatsu’s forehead. It’s a welcome relief, though it doesn’t last too long. “Whoa, o-okay, you’re… you’re running a fever for sure. It sounds… like you have a sinus infection. Probably from that cold we all had last week.”

He can hear the frown in Choromatsu’s voice. “Is… that why you’ve been even more antisocial than usual? You’ve been feeling sick all day and didn’t tell us?”

“It wasn’t th-this bad before,” he says, defensively, as if none of them have ever used that excuse to chase off any of the others worrying. “I was just s… so cold… then I woke up and…” He huffs, trying to curl himself up tighter. “W-what are you even… doing up…?”

“Oh, Totty had to pee, and when we got up, we noticed you were missing. So I told him to go back to bed while I went to find you.” He runs a hand through his little brother’s hair. “Found you, hah.”

“… Yeah. You did.” God, when was the last time he was so tired? He wants to fall back asleep, but he just feels so shitty, he doesn’t think he can. A violent shudder runs through him, and as soon as he feels Choromatsu sitting beside him, he presses himself into his older brother’s side. “A-ah, I’m… I’m gonna freeze.”

Choromatsu chuckles softly. “Hmm, Ichi-sicle? Echh. You’ve got a fever, so it probably wouldn’t be a good idea to pile on the blankets…”

The younger of the two gives an absolutely miserably pleading look up. “J… just one…?”

“― Uh!” Choromatsu’s face reads as stunned, likely because none of them are used to Ichimatsu begging for anything. Especially for something as silly as a blanket. He reaches down to pat Ichimatsu’s shoulder in what he seems to hope is a reassuring gesture. “Well… I-I guess… a thin one would be alright. There’s probably one in the closet here…”

Within a moment, Ichimatsu is wrapped up, not too snugly… enough to take the edge off, though. He’s still shivering. His head still hurts. His teeth still hurt. Having something to tug around himself makes him feel a little better, so he’s relieved Choromatsu didn’t completely deny the request.

“There, how’s that?” he asks as he does a final adjustment to the blanket.

“I… it’s okay.” Ichimatsu wiggles himself closer to Choromatsu, because the other man feels a lot warmer than Ichimatsu is right now. “I still f-feel shitty. Like my head’s gonna explode.”

Choromatsu clicks his tongue. “Ah, yeah…” He tenderly strokes down Ichimatsu’s hair, eliciting quiet sighs from the ill sextuplet. Despite the fact that he thought any contact with his head would feel like hell right now, it… actually feels nice. Choromatsu’s touch is delicate, knowing how poorly his little brother feels right now. “I’ll see if I can get you to the doctor in the morning, okay? If it’s a sinus infection, it won’t get better on its own and you’ll need medicine.”

Ichimatsu nods, but his head just feels full and he winces from that little movement. As much as he hates going to the doctor, he hates being sick even more, so it’s a necessary evil.

It still feels like there’s no heat in the house. If none of the others feel it, however, it must just be his fever. How deceptive is that? A rise in body temperature is making him feel like he’s freezing to death? God has a sense of irony.

“Well,” Choromatsu sighs, pulling away, “if you really want to sleep in here, if it’s more comfortable for you… I guess I should leave you alone and ― o-oh!”

He’s interrupted by Ichimatsu pressing his head into his older brother’s side. He knows it’s not going to help, and yet, he certainly doesn’t want Choromatsu going anywhere. The other man is warm… plus… well… being by himself when he feels so miserable isn’t an appealing prospect.

“Oh… ah… Ichimatsu?” Things are silent for a moment, then he slips a hesitant arm around his younger brother. “Do you, um… want me to… stay for a little bit?”

There passes a moment where there’s nothing but the sound of Ichimatsu’s congested breathing. At last, he grips the leg of his big brother’s pajama pant and offers a small, self-conscious, “Y… yeah.”

The response clearly surprises Choromatsu, who gathers Ichimatsu against him like he’s some precious thing. “A-ah… gosh… of course I’ll stay with you.” He can’t remember the last time Ichimatsu spent any length of time huddled with anyone, except maybe Jyushimatsu. Even that’s a big maybe.

“Mmm.” Ichimatsu lets his eyes fall closed. When was the last time he just let one of his brothers care for him like this? Why doesn’t he let them do it more often? At the very least, Choromatsu is apparently willing to do so. “Choromatsu-nii-san… I’m still cold.”

“Oh, y-yeah, well… I don’t think another blanket would be a good idea. I… I don’t wanna make your fever worse.” His hand continues to caress his brother’s hair, making slow passes through the locks. Ichimatsu is sure he feels bad about saying no, particularly when some warmth is literally all Ichimatsu is asking for right now.

Ichimatsu hums in discontent. All he can imagine is some blissful heaven where he’s allowed to be wrapped up in something cozy. Where he’s allowed to sleep under the fucking kotatsu with no problems and no big brothers trying to stop him! “Can I have some tea?”

“Oh… oh, yeah, sure! Sure, I can make you some tea.” Choromatsu leans down to very, very tentatively brush a kiss over Ichimatsu’s forehead. The last time anyone did that kind of thing to Ichimatsu is so far in the past, neither of them can pull up an immediate memory. “Um, but… in order for me to do that… I have to get up.”

The very idea is a threat to the position they’ve just taken, so much so that Ichimatsu nudges his head harder against Choromatsu’s side. “No…”

“Shhh, shh, hey, it’s… it’s okay, Ichimacchan. It’s okay.” The understanding reassurances are coupled with another few swipes down his hair. Something about the way Choromatsu says it makes the growing panic in Ichimatsu’s chest calm down to barely nothing. “There, it’s alright. If you don’t want me to leave right now, then you’ll just have to wait a bit for your tea, that’s all. Does that sound alright? Try to get some sleep now, and then I’ll make you tea a little later?”

Ichimatsu nods groggily. He feels exhausted and ice-cold still and he just wants his big brother. Tea would be nice, but not if Choromatsu has to leave right now to make it for him. He’d rather have his brother than a cup of tea.

He eases readily into the almost-hug Choromatsu pulls him into. It’s been so long since he curled up with one of his older brothers, feeling small and fragile and safe. He forgot how nice it is to be taken care of.

“Ahaha… poor Ichimatsu.” Choromatsu rubs gingerly at Ichimatsu’s back, letting Ichimatsu muffle coughs against him. “It’s alright. I’ll take care of you. Try to get some rest, okay?”

“Mhm…” As Ichimatsu starts to drift off, he pulls his blanket a bit tighter. “Tea later, though… right?”

Choromatsu laughs and ruffles his little brother’s hair. “Yeah. Tea later. I promise.”

#Osomatsu san #whump #Nenchuumatsu #Ichimatsu #Choromatsu #illness #fever #sinus infection #aaaaaa I love my boys Choro is such a good big brother ;-;

[4kominato]

A/N: IT'S CHRISTMAS EVE!!!! heres an early present!╰ (*´︶`*)╯♡ actually not early for some but mehhh MERRY CHRISTMAS TO EVERYONE WHO CELEBRATES! ~ kuri

White Christmas includes TWO CharacterxFem!Reader fics featuring an MxM character ship!!! Both pairings are listed at the beginning of the story.

Pairing: Furuya Satoru x Fem!Reader [ft. HaruSawa]

Genre: Fluff

Word Count: 1,054

“Good morning, Satoru,” you mumbled as you stretched out your arms and turned onto your side to face him, “Merry Chr—” To your surprise, the other half of the bed was empty, though it was still a little warm, meaning he hadn’t gotten up too long ago. Flinging the sheets off, you hopped out of bed to search the small house for your boyfriend.

“Satoru?” you called as you walked down the hall and made your way out to the kitchen and living room, but nothing; he was nowhere to be seen. Where’d he wander off to this time… you thought to yourself, shaking your head knowing that he was sometimes in his own little world inside his head. Glancing by the front door, you noticed his shoes were gone and so, you assumed he had gone out for a walk or something of the sort. Rushing back to the bedroom, you changed into appropriate attire for winter and made your way outside. 

Snow?! Your eyes grew wide as you opened the door seeing the fluffy, whiteness covering the ground. Reaching down to touch it, you realized it was freshly fallen, probably from just before you woke up if you had to guess, and that’s more than likely the reason Furuya had gone out, given he’s always been fond of cold weather.

“Satoru!” you called again as you stepped out into the snow. Thankfully, it wasn’t terribly deep, so you had no problem walking through it as you quickly panned the vast front yard for your missing boyfriend, but unfortunately, he was still nowhere to be seen. I swear I’ll kill him when I find him… you thought as you made your way even further out, desperate to find your idiot of a boyfriend.

“Sat—” you were about to call again when you finally found him, casually laying in the snow, appearing to be asleep. “SATORU! What do you think you’re doing?!” you scolded as you knelt down next to him and shook him awake, “You can’t take a nap out here in the snow, are you crazy?!”

“It feels good,” he mumbled in response, his eyes still closed as he spoke.

“You’re gonna turn into a goddamn ice cube, idiot! You’re not a polar bear!”

He replied with some kind of muffled noise in disagreement, still refusing to get up despite your furious tone, so you spoke up again, “Satoru! Eijun and Haruichi are coming over soon and you’ll get sick if you just sta—!”

Before you could finish, he grabbed you by the wrist and yanked you forward making you fall onto his chest, his arms wrapping around your torso soon after.

“Just a few more minutes…” he spoke breathily, as if he was falling back asleep again.

“Satoru…” you whined, wiggling in his arms in an attempt to escape, but it was to no avail. He had no intentions of letting go, not yet at least. “Alright, fine… only a few more minutes…”

Finally content, Furuya went back to sleep, his soft little snores ringing in your ears as the two of you laid together in the cold, fluffy mound of snow. You swore only about thirty seconds had passed when suddenly, the sound of footsteps could be heard within ears range, so you looked up to see who it was.

“What are you doing?” Haruichi asked, a puzzled expression on his face when your eyes met.

“Oh… uh hahaha…” you chuckled nervously sitting up and awkwardly rubbing the back of your head, “Satoru was taking a nap in the snow… I was supposed to bring him in but I guess I ended up joining him!”

“Harucchi!” another familiar voice chimed in followed by the sound of running footsteps, “What is i— y/n?”

“Er… hi Eijun… We were just about to head inside,” you greeted, not really wanting to relay your little story again.

“What are you—”

“Ask Haruichi… Come on Satoru-chan, look they’re already here.” Standing up first, you offered him a hand to help him up, but he didn’t want to take it and instead stood up on his own. “Are you mad at me? We can’t just leave our guests hang—iNG!” 

Before you could process anything, Furuya had swept you up off your feet and was carrying you back into the house, blankly walking right past Haruichi and Sawamura.

“MUMUMU, YOU THINK YOU’RE MANLY FURUYA?!” Sawamura huffed, watching as the two of you entered the house, “I CAN CARRY HARUCCHI TOO. Hold the gifts!”

“Eijun-kun, calm down. I don’t think that was his inte—ENTION!” Before Haruichi could really protest, Eijun had already shoved the gifts into his hands and picked him up in the same manner that Furuya had done to you. When they entered the house, Haruichi was silent, but his face was flushed red, while Sawamura stood proudly holding him in his arms, making sure Furuya saw before putting him down.

“See, Furuya, you’re not the only strong boyfriend around here,” Sawamura flaunted as he took off his shoes and stepped through the doorway and into the cozy living room.

“Eijun-kun!” Haruichi scolded, lightly smacking his arm as he took off his shoes and followed suit, shutting the door behind him. Furuya only huffed in response, turning away from his noisy classmate to open the gift you’d handed him.

“Sorry, we haven’t exchanged our gifts with each other yet because Satoru went out in the snow as soon as he woke up,” you apologized to the two boys as they made their way toward the couch to join you.

“It’s okay, here’s your gifts from us,” Haruichi replied, placing them on the coffee table.

“Mm, yes, we understand… because Furuya is dumb,” Sawamura stated matter-of-factly.

“And you aren’t?”

“HARUCCHI!?”

You only giggled at the couple bantering before you turned back to Furuya to see his progress on unwrapping his present, a warmth filling your heart seeing that he’d tossed the gift bag and tissue onto the floor and was already cuddling the polar bear plushie you’d chosen for him. 

“I’m glad you like it,” you grinned, pecking his cheek before getting up to grab Haruichi and Sawamura’s gifts from under the tree, “Here, these are yours. Merry Christmas! And thanks for coming over.”

“Merry Christmas!” they replied in unison, happily accepting their gifts.

Pairing: Sawamura Eijun x Fem!Reader [ft.ChrisMiyu]

Genre: Fluff

Word Count: 1,044

“It’s perfect!” you chimed, standing back and admiring the bare snowballs the two of you stacked together to make a snowman, “Now we need to find things to put on him.”

“I’ll find branches for the arms!” Sawamura volunteered, quickly running off to find some sticks, so in the meantime, you looked for any other various things you could find to use as eyes, a nose and a mouth. It didn’t take you long to gather a plentiful amount of pine cones and pebbles, providing enough variety to get all the facial features in one crack, and maybe even buttons too.

You ended up finishing the face before Sawamura got back, so while you waited, you decided you’d prepare a little surprise for when he arrived.  Peaking around the snowman, you saw your boyfriend finally walking back with a handful of sticks, so you reached down into the snow and cupped a piled of it into your hand, packing it into a small compact ball.

“I grabbed a few different sticks because I wasn’t sure which ones would look best…”

Just as he finished his sentence and looked up at you, you chucked the snowball at his chest making him jump and drop the sticks he was holding.

“I’ll get you for that!” Sawamura yelled, reaching into the snow as you giggled and tried to make a run for it. Just as you turned back to check on him, you were beamed in the back by his snowball, the impact making you topple forward, face first into the snow. “Y/n!” Sawamura yelled immediately after, running after you to see if you were okay. Straddling and kneeling over you, he quickly flipped you over and then pulled you into a hug. “I’M SO SORRY! I didn’t mean for you to fall over.”

“Did you forget that you’re a pitcher?” you remarked breathily, still a little winded from the blow.

“I thought I threw it lightly—”

“Oi!” a familiar voice yelled as the two of you sat together in the snow, “Get a room or something, sheesh.”

When the two of you looked up, a spectacled boy was walking down the path making his way toward the two of you, despite his rash remark.

“MIYUKI KAZUYA!” Sawamura growled, quickly picking himself up from where he was hovering over you and storming over to have a chat with the annoying pretty boy. “Don’t tell me what to do Miyuki Kazuya! I was helping my girlfriend because… she fell!”

“Well, you’re not being very helpful now are you?” Miyuki argued, “You just left her there in the snow.”

“GRR! That’s because you had to go and open your stupid mouth!” Sawamura complained, trudging back to help you up while angrily mumbling to himself, “He never has anything nice to say.” Miyuki followed close behind, watching as Sawamura pulled you up from the snow.

“Merry Christmas, Miyuki-san,” you greeted shyly, still slightly flustered at his earlier comment.

“Merry Christmas,” he replied back with a smile, “If horndog here can���t keep it in his pants out in public, you can yell for help y’know. I would’ve saved you.”

“THAT’S NOT WHAT HAPPENED,” Sawamura snapped back, angrily pointing at Miyuki as he spoke, “I told you the story!”

“That she fell? Hmm… I don’t buy that. She’s not clumsy like you,” Miyuki shrugged.

“I fell because he threw a snowball at me,” you chuckled, dusting the snow off of your legs and butt.

“Oh! Now that sounds more reasonable!” Miyuki laughed, resting an arm on your shoulder, “Seriously, how have you dated this idiot for so long? I could never.”

“I heard that Miyuki Kazuya!”

“Stop calling me by my full name, would you?” he rolled his eyes, giving Sawamura a playful nudge.

“Kazuya,” another familiar voice called, making all three of you crane your heads to see who it was, “Your coffee.”

“Thanks,” Miyuki smiled, grabbing the warm drink from the older boy.

“Chris-senpai!” Sawamura’s face lit up as he ran over to him and gave him a big hug.

“Oi, oi… who gave you permission to manhandle my husband?” Miyuki remarked before taking a quick sip of his coffee.

“He’s not your husband!” Sawamura snapped back.

“Oh yeah? How would you know?”

“Because! If you guys got married, Chris-senpai would’ve invited me! ...Right?”

“Hmm…” Chris hummed, turning his head away from his kohai, “I was actually a little worried that you might object so…”

“CHRIS-SENPAI?!”  Sawamura whined in disappointment whilst Miyuki laughed in the background. 

“C’mon Ei-chan, they’re just messing around,” you comforted while attempting to pull him off of Chris. “Merry Christmas, Chris-san!”

“Merry Christmas to both of you,” Chris replied with a smile, giving Sawamura a little head pat as he finally released his grip around his waist.

“Actually, Bakamura has yet to wish either of us a Merry Christmas,” Miyuki butted in with a shrug, “He just tried to pick a fight with me while you were away.”

“Merry Christmas, Chris-senpai! And by the way, he was the one who started it!”

“All I said was ‘get a room.’”

Already accustomed to Miyuki and Sawamura’s unique friendship, he only gave a little chuckle before speaking up again, “Anyways, how would the two of you like to join us for dinner? Kazuya made a very nice cake and we were going to pick up fried chicken on the way home.”

“Chris-chan! I don’t want Bakamura to come to our house. He's too noisy.”

“We’d love to come over!” Sawamura exclaimed, speaking for you in the process, “I won’t have any of the cake though.”

“Suit yourself,” Miyuki snapped back, taking Chris’s hand into his own before heading back to the path.

“You’re okay with going to their place right?” Sawamura confirmed with you despite the fact that he’d already agreed with Chris that you guys were going.

“Yeah. We haven’t hung out with them in a while,” you agreed, clinging onto Sawamura’s biceps before following the other couple toward the path.

“YAY! I won’t embarrass you this time,” he smiled, pressing a soft kiss to your cheek.

“You always find a way to embarrass me… but that’s what makes each moment with you so memorable. I’ll definitely remember this Christmas, just like all our other ones.”

#yes #i know #the endings suck #idk how to end things #but #i tried my best #this is also the first time ive written fluff #in about ten years #lmao jk #but anyways... #merry christmas #daiya no ace #sawamura eijun #furuya satoru #kominato haruichi #miyuki kazuya #chris yuu takigawa #sawamura eijun x reader #furuya satoru x reader #sawamura eijun fluff #furuya satoru fluff #sawamura eijun fanfic #furuya satoru fanfic #sawamura fluff #furuya fluff #sawamura fanfic #furuya fanfic #harusawa #kuri’s art

[seleneauger]

propinquity

propinquity - noun.  the state of being close to someone or something; proximity.

Lead: Oh Sehun

Genre: Angst, neighbor!au, soulmate!au 

Warnings: sexual content

Words: 4347

For my moon goddess @enaasteria​. 

Note: I finally got to finish this after many laptop transfers and life events. I’m so sorry this is so late, but I hope you’ll accept this small gift Ena!

--

i. It is golden hour. Your hair threatens to fall out of its bun as you climb the stairs to your apartment because the elevator is undergoing maintenance again. In your hands is a pot of English Ivy you bought, its tendrils threatening to get caught with every step you take. The diffused sunlight makes it hard to determine exactly what time it is, but you're confident that you didn't dawdle too much in the flower shop  at the corner block where you bought your new houseplant. God knows how many succulents you've killed, but you're determined to make this plant live.

Your apartment is minimalist without it feeling too clinical. It has lots of natural light and rent is reasonable enough for its location. It's peaceful and cozy, and you appreciate that it's not facing the street where all the noise and hustle of life fill the streets. Your daybed is comfy and the sheets are fresh. It's home.

To you, silence was golden. In the busy tempo of life, you felt the need to get away for a while, when work becomes too much, when the  heartbeat of the metro gets too loud, when the voices of the people passing on the street overpower your own. Silence was your friend and sometimes your enemy, but most of the time it provided you the respite you needed.

The moon hangs low in the sky, when the nap you take is interrupted and you sigh in resignation because you're used to hearing them. Again.

For the nth time since you've moved in this apartment, the sound of laughter and conversations muffled by the thin walls fill the room. You're a light sleeper and quick to wake up and you would have clawed your eyes out if 1) you weren't so used to it and 2) if you actually had the energy to do so.

You wonder if your neighbor makes it a point to let everyone know how much of a great time he's having with his significant other, but it's the irritation at being disturbed in the middle of a nap that's talking. Said neighbor takes the space at the end of the hallway and your unit is directly beside his, so it's only you that has the unfortunate privilege of hearing his and his partner's laughter at the most opportune of moments, and the occasional sound of thumps of what you can only assume is a bed. Or a couch.

You recall the first time you confront him about it.

It might have had more impact if you knocked on his apartment in your pajamas to drive the point across that he was too goddamn loud last night with his rendition of Fancy at two am in the morning with his over eager girlfriend who likes hyping him up. But you were dressed for work, and you didn't get enough sleep and you had enough. Your boss caught you dozing off in the middle of coding and you wanted nothing more than to hide in embarrassment when he joked about you having too much fun the night before. You started doing overtime to finish your work.

"Hey Unit 901, if you don't come out, I'm gonna start charging you for all the overtime I have to do at work because I can't fall asleep to your incessant laughter at ungodly hours!"

The first thing you see when the door swings open is a clavicle.

Human beings that were this physically attractive were few and far between, and this guy looked like fucking Adonis. Figures he'd be getting all the sexy times he wants but if you had to wake up from a really nice dream to listen to his laughter for the fourth time this week (it's Friday), you would seriously consider breaking his door out of spite.

It takes you a moment to compose yourself and to look up at him and not at that sliver of skin. "I'm the person who lives in 902 and I'm happy for your love life and all your fun times with your girlfriend, who is very pretty by the way, I saw her leaving your place once, but for the sake of my sanity, if I hear you being playing PubG with her at 2am in the morning as you both start shouting at each other to snipe the enemy, I will seriously combust."

He takes in your features and your face feels warm, too warm for your liking.

"Sorry about that, I didn't realize the walls aren't soundproof?" He apologized but it sounds like an excuse and all you want is a concrete plan of action for you to get a decent amount of sleep. "I'll try to minimize the noise, so I hope you don't file a noise complaint to the landlord uh…"

You realize that you haven't exchanged names and you give him yours and he finishes his apology slash excuse.

"I'm Sehun by the way. Oh Sehun."

You are determined not to get distracted by his good looks. "Well Oh Sehun, unless I stop waking up in the middle of the night because of your noise, I'm gonna stick to calling you Unit 901."

He smiles and apologizes properly this time. You excuse yourself to leave work, and try to forget how warm his hand was when he shook it.

Now it's only been two days and the noise starts again. But it's a different kind of noise this time; its melodic and you vaguely register it as a ballad you've heard on the radio before.

It’s the sound of his singing that makes the annoyance go away, and you fall asleep to Sehun's voice.

ii. Oh Sehun is water. Fluid and graceful, and is one who easily slips away from your grasp. He doesn't listen to your half-hearted threats to tape his mouth and easily dodges your fist when you try to hit him that he looks like he's gliding away from you, but does try to bribe you with food so that you won't rat him out to the landlord.

It started with his buying a mini cake as a peace offering for disturbing your sleep the morning after your first complained to him. It used to irk you that all these hole in the wall bakeries that he gets his pastries from are far from your office because you were seriously considering selling him out to the landlord if he didn't move his bed to somewhere not near the wall that divides your unit and his because you really didn't need to know the specifics of what he and his girlfriend likes in bed, but you'll be damned if you don’t get another slice of their peach earl grey mousse cakes.

Since then, you've been in this weird relationship with this noodle of a man, which consists of you half-heartedly bitching to him about how loud they're being, (halfhearted because  you're slowly getting used to it, and it makes your apartment seem less lonely). He brings you food and helps you change your light bulbs, while you change his life by giving him the address of a really good sushi restaurant just 20 minutes away from the apartment complex and teaching him how to make a damn good lasagna. You don't comment on his drinking habits, and he doesn’t comment on the ring on your finger.

iii. The first time you hear him laugh in front of you, you're already familiar with it.

It was a Saturday, meaning it was your mission to sleep in as late as possible. You're rudely awakened by the ding of your doorbell and were so out of it to properly wonder who could be visiting you on a weekend without informing you beforehand (your friends knew you had an unwritten rule to schedule visits three business days before they were approved).

Remembering it is a little embarrassing, but it doesn't surprise you that you standing there in the most over sized pajamas you own, hair in a bun sitting at the very apex of you head as you give him this look as if you were so used to threatening visitors with minimal effort with a butter knife in hand made Sehun laugh.

He probably couldn't decide if you looked threatening enough or that you'd possibly be an actual threat, what with the muay thai classes you're taking that you mentioned in passing.

"The landlord told me to tell you that there will be a temporary power outage about an hour from now since they need to fix the elevator. It'll last till late in the afternoon so you might want to charge your phone or laptop."

The laughter comes unbidden when you squint at him because you forgot to put on your glasses when you opened the door and he's laughing again, but it sounds different when there are no walls separating the two of you. It's not muffled, it is clear and warm familiar and you feel something in your chest as he slowly pushes the hand wielding the butter knife down to a less threatening level.

Oh. Oh.

He waves you goodbye and walks towards the stairs while you stare dumbly at the space he used to occupy. Your brain is finally catching up to all that happened and you take deep breath to clear your thoughts and stop thinking about his laughter.

You've been his neighbor for two months, and nearly half of those nights are either spent listening to him and his girlfriend laugh and talk every other day, Fridays being the day where they laugh with nearly no reservations because it's their movie night (you know this because he lets you leech off his Netflix account). She laughs freely with no reservations, in bursts that made you think she was the sun. It rang clearly and sometimes catches you off guard when you're in the middle of making dinner.

When he introduces you as the neighbor who recommended a movie on Netflix that she enjoyed so much she could quote the lines, you realize that she was the sun. His sun. And her laugh was like honey.

iv. The noises stop completely.

It was the laughter that stopped first, followed by the hushed tones. What was once laced with small giggles morphed into bites of annoyance, frustration, and then eventually to quiet sobs. You don’t know who is crying and who is talking; the walls seem thicker than ever and one day it just stops.

It goes on till the next day. And the next day, and the next week and Sehun's smile seems to have disappeared completely and you're worried. Worried because its physically painful to look at the emotional turmoil so evident in his face. But it's not like you can just demand answers from him, to him, you are simply his neighbor, the one who teaches him how to cook and sends way too many pictures of cute dogs.

So you bide your time.

You catch him entering his apartment at 3am, after your spontaneous trip to the convenience store to buy some tea bags. He seems to be permanently slouching these days, his skin is pale and crescent moons line his eyes in purple. He notices you and the words are coming out from your mouth before you register them.

"Do you need someone to talk to?"

Sehun's face nearly falls at the question but makes a small motion for you to enter his apartment.

It's clean and orderly its almost sterile. You expect it to be messy either from neglect or from it being inhabited but it's too clean, it's almost clinical. Detached.

"Do you want a drink?"

"Hot water is fine, I actually came from the convenience store with tea…"

He nods and quietly sets the electric kettle to boil. By the time the tea has steeped, the silence is almost oppressive and you're about to say something, anything to break the silence that is suffocating the air when he speaks.

"I'm not her soulmate."

The tea scalds your tongue.

His hands envelope his mug as if looking for warmth. Warmth that only a soulmate can give and you're glad he's looking down so he doesn't see you wince. The air becomes even heavier; it is stuffy and oppressive and you resist the urge to open his balcony doors to let some air in because the nights are getting cold, but you know what Sehun feels is much, much worse.

Because in this world, the cold that comes with heartbreak bites before it settles in your bones as it makes breathing a little harder till there doesn't seem to be enough oxygen. It becomes parasite, leeching off your energy to fuel how cold it is till you move on and find love somewhere else, in someone else and warmth will suddenly flood you once you meet your soulmate.

Sehun is not a stranger to heartbreak. He remembers his first love in high school and the cold that came not with the changing of seasons, but in the way his first love accidentally found her soulmate when she nearly fell forward when the train suddenly stopped in their third year of high school. He remembers their agreement to date till they found their soulmates but it was still painful seeing them meet in the train, this stranger's hands on his girlfriend, and the way their eyes both lit up in response to the warmth that started from her shoulders and his hands and ended  on their left chest, right where their hearts sat beating. He remembers that day so vividly, his first heartbreak and the first time he felt the cold on a summer day, and he remembers never feeling warmth when he held her hand. It was just over the middle of the spectrum of temperature. Not nothing, it was simply lukewarm, that changed into an uncomfortable chill over the train incident. Uncomfortable, but bearable.

This heartbreak, however, just unbearable.

Sehun was not prepared for how frigid it was when he finds out he is not her soulmate but she was his. It was painful when he experienced his first heartbreak, but this was on an entirely different scale. It was overwhelming; it made him keel over in pain and all but tore the oxygen from his lungs.

He shows you her name on his skin. It winds across his ring finger in neat handwriting and it's so small you need to move closer to read the letters. You don’t take his hand and simply stare at her name. It's greyed out instead of the usual black and Sehun shivers as he traces the characters gently before his eyes settle on your hands. It focuses on the silver band on your ring finger and he tries to forget the way he stumbled upon a pretty ring by the jewelers a month before everything spiraled down.

That ring was supposed to be for her, his sun, his soulmate.

Sehun cries quietly as he brings his hands to his face. He is water, and the question that flows out of his lips through the gaps in his fingers carries the curiosity and sadness he's had for a while ever since he noticed you started wearing your ring.

"How about you?"

You press your fingers together, minimizing the gaps between them before stretching them out and twirling the ring on your ring finger, the band thick enough to cover the greyed out name that loops around it.

"I'm not his soulmate either."

You let out a choked sob, and suddenly you're not as grounded as your element as vines constrict your throat and encage your chest. He is the rain and you are the earth. He is a torrent of emotions and you are an earthquake. The air is charged with sorrow. It circulates the room and you both cry for yourselves, and for each other. Sehun feels another rush of water sting his eyes when his assumption about you and your soulmate had been correct all along and he tries to remember the warmth from his sun to no avail. Was it naïve for him to think, to hope that his name would appear on her fingers when hers was on his? Her hands were empty for so long; was it a sign that they wouldn't end up together?

He misses her. She was (is?) his lifeline and now he has nothing but the greyed out name on his fingers to remind him that it has been cut.

v. "Let's be happy together."

Not saying anything, you smiled wryly. Sehun thinks it's because you both are glitches in the system of fate, and he wonders if one could really be happy with a person that isn't his or her soulmate. But he stands in front of you and he's tired of feeling sorry for himself and he offers you a way to solve the predicament you're both in. He doesn't know who your soulmate is and he doesn't press the issue, doesn't force you to say anything. It's a sensitive topic that still brings with it the touch of a chill that starts from his chest whenever he remembers her, and he's sure it's not different for you.

vi. You start sleeping with each other the night after.

Sehun rationalizes the whole set up. "We aren't the soulmates of our soulmates. Might as well try with people in the same boat as us, right?" He's cutting up vegetables for tonight's dinner as he says this very casually. But you hear the slight strain in his voice, see the momentary shake of his hands on the kitchen knife and you know he's thought about it enough to voice it out and ask your opinion. His voice is becomes quieter but gains a certain kind of stability when he speaks next.

"Physical warmth is nothing compared to the warmth that a soulmate can provide, but sometimes you just need someone to be there when you want to remember how warmth feels like, to stave off the cold."

Your brain doesn't catch up to your body. It listens to the beat of your heart as it flutters erratically and you're kissing him before you know it. You don't care where this will lead you, the rational part of your brain pleads not to give in but it loses the battle against what your body wants and you want it now and all that is running through your mind is him, him, him.

His eyes are turbulent like a tsunami, as he mouths against your belly button. You arch your back and you don't know exactly what your pleading for but you do, and all you can hear is how desperate you are, begging, begging with your hoarse voice and even that is washed away when his head is between your thighs and you crash against the currents till it takes you to the peak and you can't breathe.

In those moments, he is impossibly warm and you cling to that warmth like a lifeline as he takes you, as you give yourself to him over and over again till your lungs catch fire. You're swept up by the waves of love lust and dragged down by the undercurrents. All you see is the swirling of water, violent and passionate that you don’t see the bubbles rising to the surface and forget that you need air, not water to breathe.

In those moments, you don't mind drowning.

And drown you do.

vii. It is not long that you become a part of each other's lives when the sun is gone.

Sehun pulls the covers over your bodies and pulls you flush against his chest. Your voice is small when you ask.

"Stay?"

"Sure."

But Sehun is water and you can't ask water to stay. It is never static, always moving with the changing of tides and will always slip from the seams.

It is when his breathing is rhythmic that you allow the sob that choked you to escape. But slowly, slowly.

Sehun sleeps deeply that night, so he doesn’t not notice when you curl in towards yourself and lift the ring on your left hand, just enough to read the grey characters flickering with red as if they were dying embers. The cold hits you more painfully than before because the warmth is snatched away from you so quickly you barely had time to embrace it. It is replaced with the burning feeling not from heat, but from something so frigid it burns, oh god it burns and you're reminded that Sehun is your soulmate, but you aren't his as you stare at his greyed out name on your finger. 

It is exhaustion, the weight of your secret, and the sadness you’ve been carrying for so long that pulls you to sleep.

You wake up in the morning alone in bed. Sehun is making breakfast and the scent of coffee wafts through the apartment.

At first you think nothing of it. It's always like this, and you roll over on his side of the bed and cling to the residual warmth of the sheets. It's nice to wake up to the smell of breakfast but you find yourself reaching out to the opposite side of the bed every time.

You want to wake up next to him on a lazy morning.

But then in the middle of one night, weeks into whatever this relationship is that you catch him by the couch on the window. He doesn't notice you stir from sleep; he is drawn to her, traces her name on his finger and his voice is breathy, wistful, longing.

"You're the only person I want to wake up next to in the morning."

It is whispered to the air, as if it would carry his wish towards her, his sun. He says it to the moon and closes his eyes. He stays in that position for a long while, and when he slides back into the bed, he is facing away from you.

Stay?

Perhaps you were being too greedy. Overwatering kills plants after all.

viii. Sehun met you on a summer day, when the season was just changing from the cusp of spring. It was warm, and as time passes by it grew warmer and warmer, with the sun rising higher into the skies like smoke that curls in tendrils. He remembers because he remembers his sun, with hair that glowed like the gold during too bright mornings when he woke up next to her. And he remembers the summer heat dissipating and making way for autumn, the cold starting to seep in. It's uncanny how the seasons of the following year seemed to reflect his emotional state, mocking him with the cold that blew his hair from his face while the cold he felt at the loss of his soulmate seeped into his bones. Fate was cruel and nature was its accomplice.

You, on the other hand, seemed to be operating on the opposite conditions. Two years could do a number on people, and he remembers the different sweaters you'd wear all year round the first time you met him. Till the events in both your lives seemed to intertwine like the vines on an endless hedge maze, bound together but without any clear pattern or path. Circular, in ways more than one, and both as full and as empty as the number zero.

Recently, you stop wearing sweaters and jackets altogether, your arms constantly exposed to the chilled air. Sehun calls you out on it on one of those nights where you've developed the habit of standing by your balcony in nothing but an old shirt when the moon hangs high in the sky.

"I've gotten used to the cold."

He doesn't recognize the tone of your voice.

ix. "Can I ask a favor? For tonight, can you think of me, and only of me?"

The day you decide to leave him, you ask for one tender night with him. Your voice is soft but filled with a kind of determination Sehun doesn't catch. After all, it has become an unwritten and unspoken rule that this whole arrangement with you was for both to get over your respective soulmates. Sehun doesn't read too deeply into the stakes of this relationship, doesn't want to open that can of worms. Doesn't realize the weight of your words because in his mind, you are both using each other to forget.

But the body remembers. And he sees the tears fall from your eyes, he can only stare. It becomes clear to you that Sehun never noticed, never realized the depths of your feelings for him and that hasn't changed. The heartbreak you feel has reached a fever pitch and you break down. Sehun moves to hug you, but you shake your head. Sehun thinks, believes he understands you; you two are in the same predicament after all. Both your cases are rare and for the two of you to have met in this lifetime was something he believes was fate's way of consoling the both of you.

He takes your refusal for aftercare as a sign that you wanted to get over your soulmate by yourself, and it dawns on him that perhaps that’s what he needed to do as well. Acceptance is the first step towards recovery, and for the both of you to move on, really move on, you needed the kind of strength that came from within, and not from another person. He's not sure if he was ready for that.

But it seems that you were.

His dreams elude him that night. It's all vague and a faint sense of unease lingers underneath. Images of the moon and a peculiar kind of warmth. You're wide awake as he stirs in his slumber and press a kiss on his shoulder as he succumbs to sleep once more. It is your final goodbye.

When the morning arrives, it is Sehun who wakes up alone.

#sehun scenario #exo scenario #sehun scenarios #exo fanfic #sehun #exo #sehun fanfic #oh sehun #writing #angst #smut #god im so sorry this took so long #I TOOK TWO WHOLE YEARS TO GET BACK INTO WRITING THIS IS CRAZY #but merry christmas i guess? pls accept this humble offering ena...

[tracklist-fic]

Tracklist Fic | 002 / Baggage

Title: Tracklist // 002 | An original, mature, Ed Sheeran fanfic CO-AUTHORED BY: @tea-and-toblerones and @sippin-on-red-wine​ Rating: No smuts in this chapter, sorry!

Ed……. I pulled into the studio’s car lot excited and ready to begin work. I had been enjoying my vacation immensely, so much I had skived off longer than I had originally planned. Now that I’ve sat down and discussed my vision I couldn’t wait to dive in. I had been up half the night writing notes and ideas down, too anxious to sleep. I was also looking forward to working with Jac. She had left a serious impression on me. She had such a magnetic personality. Strong, fierce and willing to take risks. She’s awfully fit too….no, Ed, she said this was a one off and she wanted to keep it professional from here on out. Her reputation is at stake here and I don’t want to sabotage it in any way.

When I turned my car off and was getting ready to get out I saw her standing on the pavement in front of the building completely obliterating some guy with an obnoxiously large bouquet of flowers. Her face red as she screamed at him. She threw them in his face, vigorously pointing away from the building before turning on her heel and marching into the building.

Uh oh…I don’t think she’s a fan of flowers….

Jac……. My morning had started off rough. I had gotten a poor night’s sleep due to a mix of Dylan’s lingering hands on my body and Ed’s scent in the sheets. Every toss and turn released a little burst of cinnamon sin in my nose. Just a reminder of the hot and wildly inappropriate night I had spent with him. Those bright whimsical flowers were sitting in my kitchen taunting me.

They’re not romantic Jac. They’re supermarket flowers for Chrissakes. Ed’s a known romantic. There’s no way he’d buy flowers from the grocer to express a romantic intent. Besides, daisies aren’t that romantic. They’re probably the most innocent flower you can give. You’re over-thinking it. You need to relax.

I was not prepared when my alarm sounded. Groaning, I turned it off, contemplating adding a mandatory nap break in today’s schedule. I unwillingly tossed the duvet aside and started my morning routine. I grabbed a to-go breakfast and filled my largest thermos with coffee, catching the flowers out of the corner of my eye. They’re so bright and colorful, just like him without clothing. That probably wasn’t the intention but…it’s right there. I grabbed my keys and headed out. I was determined to have a good day.

Today is not going to be a good day.

I knew this as soon as I pulled into the studio and saw Dylan sitting by the door. With flowers. Not just flowers: Roses. A stupid amount of roses. Oh hell no, he did NOT show up to give me these at work. He’s went too far. I slammed my car door closed and made my way to the entrance. He saw me, launched to his feet and rushed to meet me. His face broke out into a smile when he presented the stupid bouquet.  He had left off the snapback again, wearing a light blue button up shirt with his aviators hanging from it, khaki shorts and brown boat shoes, his skinny pale ankles on full display. 

“I thought I’d come give my girl some flowers at work. What girl doesn’t love that.” He beamed, so proud of himself and the gesture as he held them out for me.

I quickly knocked his hand aside, absolutely fuming. “For one, I’m not ‘your girl’ so you can get that out of your head right now. Second, where do you get off showing up here? I can’t stop you from showing up at the bar but I CAN put my foot down here. This is my workplace. Third, I don’t want you or your flowers. Go home Dylan, I don’t have time for you or your bullshit right now.”

His face quickly morphed into an angry look. “Last night you were all for us getting back together. Do you know how much these cost?” He shook the flowers angrily “Did you not remember me telling you I stopped taking my dad’s money? I did that for you, y’know.” He spat like it was a big deal.

“I’m supposed to be impressed by the fact that you’ve stopped living off your daddy’s money and are finally living like a fucking adult now?! Well congratu-fucking-lations Dylan!” I gave him a mock standing ovation.  "Welcome to the  real world! It’s about goddamn time!“ My voice echoing across the parking lot. I was beyond the point of caring.

He closed the distance between us, getting right up in my face as he screamed, spit landing on my face as I refused to back down from him. "Well you sure fucking seemed impressed last night. So much so you couldn’t wait to get me to your car so I could eat you out! Or do you just spread your legs for anyone now?! That how you plan on breaking on the scene? By fucking your way to the top? I bet you’re fucking whatever nobody you’re working with now in the off chance they become big when they find themselves someone who actually knows what the fuck they’re doing and not some wannabe producer like you!” His hands had been flying around and with his last remark his fingers had came across my jaw.  

I snagged the flowers out of his hand and began hitting him with them. Petals and leaves flying everywhere as they smashed against his face, arms and every inch of him I could hit as I screamed in rage. There was a loud buzzing in my ears as I continued to hit him.

“How fucking dare you, you asshole! I EARNED my job! I worked my ass off to get where I’m at now, I didn’t go 'Daddy, give me a job at your movie studio ’ like you did! So you can take your flowers and your accusations and shove them right up your bleached ass! Yeah, that’s right Dylan, I know.” I threw the mangled mess of flowers in his face and pointed to the road. “Now get the fuck out off my lot before I send for security.”

I turned and marched inside, trying my best not to slam the door behind me. I didn’t look back to see if he was still standing there or not. I was just happy the doors were mostly soundproof so they couldn’t hear what had transpired outside. I turned to Valerie, the receptionist who wore a look of confusion as I stormed through.

“Is everything okay Jac? That looked pretty volatile out there.”

“If he hasn’t left in 3 minutes, call security Val. He wants nothing but trouble.” I took a deep breath. “Thank you.”

I didn’t break my stride as I pushed the door open and went straight to the sound room. Of course he’d pull this today. Today’s a huge day for me, why would I ever expect anything less from him. I was just glad Ed hadn’t been around to hear what he had said. I threw myself in the chair as I rubbed my face. We already started on less than professional terms and that scene wouldn’t have helped my image any.

God, this is a fucking mess. What if he’s still out there when Ed comes in? I know Dylan wouldn’t think he was working with me but what if Ed recognises him from the bar and puts two and two together?

I was kneading my temples with my fingertips when I heard:

“So…um…do you not like flowers?”

I look up to see a very awkward looking Ed standing in the doorway. I felt like screaming in frustration.

“You saw that?” Great. Just great. It was nice working with you.

“I saw you walloping a bloke with roses. Which made me feel pretty uncertain about the flowers I left for you…” So he DID leave them there himself.

“Yours were fine. Unexpected, but thoughtful. They’re quirky, like you.”

He sighed in relief, fullying entering the room and sitting down in another chair. “I’m glad you liked them. I saw them and thought they’d look nice in your apartment. Plus I wanted to express my excitement with working with you.” You hear that Dylan? Ed Sheeran, three sold out shows and first solo act to play at Wembley Stadium, is excited to work with me. You can suck it. “What is he, a regular that won’t take no for an answer? I noticed him at the bar when we met.”

Sure let’s go with that. You don’t need the details.

“Yeah, something like that.

Ed graciously took the hint and dropped the subject.

“So, I was thinking I’d just play the whole album for you today. Everything I’ve got so far. You up for it?” He was strictly business all of a sudden.

I took a deep breath, letting all of my frustrations roll off my back. Time to switch into work mode.

“Absolutely. Let’s do it.”

Ed grabbed his guitar case and one of the barstools from the little break area in the mix room. I grabbed my notebook, a pen, and a couple bottles of water and settled in on the worn-in leather sofa.

He got cozy on the barstool, one sneaker-clad foot flat on the ground, the other casually resting on the bottom rung. He slid his guitar strap over his shoulder and just started playing. Some songs seemed pretty complete, others were just a chorus or a riff, a single line to build the rest of the song around. He must have played to me for nearly two hours straight, stopping between each song to explain the idea behind it, or what had been happening in his travels that inspired it. Occasionally he’d take his phone out and play some soundbits from there.

I scribbled notes furiously, sketching out each song on it’s own page – writing down lyrics that stuck out to me, noting the emotion that each one solicited, jotting down ideas. Ed was a machine, he sat perched up on that barstool playing song after song, his silky voice filling the room, surrounding me. He sang with his eyes closed, most of the time. He’d often stop and play something back again, trying a new sequence, or different wording. Some lines didn’t have lyrics yet and so he just sang syllables to fill in.

Near the end of his song bank, he explained that he had written most of this one before his last tour had ended. He’d been really homesick and nostalgic and this one just poured out of him. It struck me right from the first chorus:

“And I’m on my way, Driving at 90 down those country lanes, Dee be deeeee do deeeedee, And I miss the way you make me feel, it’s real, When we watched the sunset on the castle on the hill,”

I hadn’t grown up with any castles, or broken my leg, or did many of the things Ed was crooning about. But the song was giving ME major nostalgia vibes. It really hit me right in the heart; remembering when my friend got her license, the first of all of us. We’d drive around for hours, singing at the top of our lungs, no destination in mind.

The chorus came back around -

“And I’m on my way, – I had an idea. Driving at 90 down those country lanes, –”

“–Singing to Tiny Dancer,” I sang over top of his deee do daaah’s, offering up a suggestion for the lyric. Probably crass and totally inappropriate, this was such a deeply personal song, but it just felt right.

His eyes opened then, though he didn’t miss a beat, a grin spread over his face.

And I miss the way you make me feel, it’s real, When we watched the sunset on the castle on the hill,”

He went right back into the chorus, trying out my lyric. I sang along with him, both of us grinning like dang fools. We finished up the song, strumming dramatically before silencing the last notes from the guitar and standing up from the stool. “Wicked… I really like that, yeah.”

He sunk down on the couch next to me and crushed a full bottle of water, the very noticeable vein in his neck moving with each swallow. Look away, Jac, look away.

He wanted to look over my notes, and so I handed them over and we talked through every song. After we had went through all of them, he set the book down on the table.

“Right, okay, yeah, we’ve put in a fair bit of work. How ‘bout we go grab ourselves some lunch? I’m starving and we’ve earned ourselves a break.”  

It was such a trip to see him transition from work Ed to casual Ed. Everything about him changed. His focus was strong, his demeanor serious - all business. A force to be reckoned with. Someone who demands attention. Sure of himself, almost cocky. It was obvious he was more comfortable behind a guitar. Without it, he was awkward, borderline unsure of himself.

I heard my own stomach growl at the mention of lunch, my pathetic breakfast a memory long past. I did have slight pause at how he worded that. Did he mean we go get lunch together, and if he did, how did he mean it? Work lunch or a I-fancy-you lunch?

“How about we order in? Saves us the nightmare of lunch rush traffic.”

I could see him mulling it over as I prayed he said yes. I really didn’t want to have the whole boundaries conversation again. Nothing’s worse than having to repeatedly shoot down a guy. Especially when you have to continue to work with them.

“Yeah, I could go for some take away.” I could feel my muscles relax. I hadn’t realised I had tensed up. “What’s good around here?” He added, oblivious to the internal battle that was going on.

“Um, well, it depends on what you’re wanting. Actually, I have some menus in my car if you want to look over them.”

“Alright, yeah, that sounds good.” He was fidgeting with the pencil I had been taking notes with.

Okay, he seems way more awkward now than he did before. I’m glad I gave the choice of ordering in. I’m under the impression he’s got more than a friendly work lunch on his mind.

“I’ll be right back then.”

He just nodded as I walked out the door. I gave a couple quick hellos to my coworkers that were in the hallway. I didn’t feel like stopping to chat, even though a couple acted like they wanted to have a conversation. The phrase ‘Sorry, I gotta go grab something out of my car or I would stay and chat with you,’ coming out of my mouth frequently.

I stopped dead in my tracks when I saw my car. Anger quickly flaring back up. The word “Whore” was written on every one of my windows. I should have known that he’d react in some over-the-top frat boy manner. Luckily, it looked like he wrote it in window paint so it would come off fairly easily. Who knows how many people had already seen it though. No wonder everyone had been trying to stop me in the hallway.

Un-fucking-believable.

I turned right around and go right back inside, heading straight to Valerie. Part of me wanted to call the police, but I mainly just wanted to wash the words away before anyone else saw.

Oh Jesus Christ, what if Ed has a girlfriend. I never thought to ask…he’s known as a good guy but nobody knows what goes on behind closed doors. Especially since he went on break. We hadn’t exactly been discreet either…No, Jac, it was Dylan. He’s a fucking asshole and this is right up his alley.

“Hey, Val, you clean the windows in the lobby right?”  

“I do, why?” The curiosity rang through loudly, though it must have clicked in because she added, “You need a rag and window cleaner?”

“Yep.” I muttered darkly as she fished around under the counter.

She placed the bottle and rag in front of me. “I hope he didn’t cause too much damage and it comes off easy. I’m sorry Jac. Break ups aren’t easy.”

“Oh, I broke up with him a while ago. He just doesn’t handle rejection well.” I had managed to keep my voice at a somewhat level tone.

Really need to re-evaluate your taste in men, Jac.

I sprayed some of the cleaner on everything that was written, letting it work it’s magic. Fuming, I scrubbed the shit off my windshield. It looked like he had thrown coffee or soda on it too since my hood was sticky as I leaned on it. King of the assholes, ladies and gentlemen.

I panicked as I heard footfalls coming toward me. I had totally forgotten that I’d come out here to grab menus, Ed was probably wondering why I’d been gone so long. I scrubbed faster, not wanting him to see what had been written.

“I thought I’d make sure nothing happened… Who the fuck did this to your car?!” He looked positively furious, his voice reflecting that. “This wasn’t here when I got out of my car. I waited until that guy got in a Range Rover and left before I came in! I can’t believe he came back!” He did a three sixty around my car, looking at the damage. “Jesus, why would someone key your car?”

“Wait, WHAT?!” I hadn’t noticed anything other than the paint.

I scurried over to where he was standing and groaned. Sure enough, the word bitch had been scratched right under the handle. A substantial dent underneath it. I wonder what else he did that I can’t see. Was he actually insane enough to tamper with the gas or something?

“Jac.” He spoke softly. “It isn’t any of my business, but what’s your connection with this guy? This is fucking mental.”

I sighed. “He’s my ex. We’ve been apart for a while now… He was never a saint but I, I’d never have expected him to pull something like this. He’s off his rocker, it seems.”

“Let me help you. I’ll have someone come collect your car and take it into the shop… it might not be safe to drive, Jac. I’ll give you a lift home.”

“It’s nice of you to offer, Ed, but I can take care of it. I’ll just call a tow and take an Uber home, it’s fine, really.” As if it isn’t humiliating enough for you to be seeing this.

“Look, I get it. You’re independent. But it’s okay to accept help every now and again, innit? Here, take my keys,” He insisted, digging into his pocket and tossing the keychain my way. “Just grab anything you need out of your car and toss it in mine. Really - your flat is on my way back anyway. I’ll drop you off when we finish up here.”

“Erm… thanks, Ed. I appreciate it.”

“Okay.” He clapped his hands together. “We need food to turn this day around. You grab your stuff and I’ll order us some takeaway, okay? Anything tickle your fancy?”

“Uh, not really.” I didn’t want to tell him I had pretty much lost my appetite.

“Any diet restrictions? Are you on the vegan bandwagon? Not that… not that there’s anything wrong with that! More power to you, I’ll just know not to order anything with cheese or meat… there goes three fourths of my diet…”

It was hard to stifle my laughter at his obvious awkwardness.

“No, I’m not vegan. Just nothing with cucumbers. Though I can’t really see you eating a salad so I guess that’s moot.”

“Hey, I like salad. I just don’t like kale or tomatoes.” He feigned offense. “But you’re right, I wasn’t planning on ordering salad. That’s like going to the world’s best steak house and ordering…well, a salad…” He finished quite lamely.

“I’m sure a vegan’s done it.”  I said while digging the menus out of my glovebox.

He took them with a thanks. “Leave it to Teddy to satisfy your needs.” His eyes widening in horror as what he had just said washed over him. “YOUR FOOD NEEDS. I MEANT YOUR FOOD NEEDS.” His words tumbling out in a rush. This time I wasn’t able to hide the smirk that had ended up on my face.

“Just order some food before you embarrass yourself more.”

Oh you can satisfy other needs too. Quite well and I think you know that.

He just nodded and headed back inside. I could almost hear him telling himself to get his shit together. He definitely didn’t strike me as the type to be able to pull off a lie so the whole jealous girlfriend theory went out the window.

I didn’t have much that I would need, just my laptop case and a couple things out of my glovebox. I quickly found his car a couple rows down, a silver Audi SUV. The image of Soccer Mom Ed popped into my head, quickly replaced by the thought of how much room for extra curriculars he’d have. Jac, no. You’d never guess a famous person drove it, which was probably the point. He was still staying out of the public eye and no one would bat an eye at this. Especially out here where everyone drives expensive sports cars. I threw my laptop on the floorboard of the back seat before heading back inside.

I found him sprawled out on the leather couch, his notebook and pen in hand as he scribbled out what I assumed was lyrics, his hand flying across the page as he wrote with fervour. His brows coming together as he scribbled something out, writing something else down instead, nodding as he did so. I watched him lean over, snagging his guitar as he strummed a couple of chords.

“Hey, tell me how this sounds.”

I had lingered back, not wanting to interrupt him. I didn’t realise he had even noticed me hovering in the doorway until then.

Oh she is a sight to behold The way she moves when the lights are low It takes my breath away, everytime My heart is looking for a one way trip And she’s not like the women I know She’ll be the one to bring it back home. Daisies, placed upon your windowsill, Showing me where to roam Oh but darling, I’ve had my fill.

I sat there with my mouth slightly open. Is this about me? No….certainly not….he wouldn’t write a song about me…we’ve literally just met. Wow, I don’t think highly of myself do I?

“Why didn’t you sing this earlier when we were going over songs for the album?” I asked, my mind trying to come up with anything logical.

“Oh…. because I just wrote it …it’s still a work in progress, but I like to bounce ideas off of people and get their opinions.” He had tucked the pen behind his ear as he played. His hand went up, running through his unruly locks, knocking the pen from its resting place. He fumbled as he tried to catch it, the pen clattering to the floor.

“Oh, well, it has potential. I would finish it. That’s about all I can offer. I’m not much of a writer…”

“I dunno, you busted out that ‘singing to Tiny Dancer’ bit awfully quick.” he retorted, a smile playing out across his face.

“Only because that’s what my friends and I sang when we were cruising around.” I offered quickly, hoping to quash any thoughts of me being any help in that department. “You’re the lyrical genius here, not me.”

“I hold your opinion in high regard. You’ve got a good ear when it comes to music. If you think it’s worth continuing then I will.”

Shit, if this is about me, I’m just encouraging him to continue on. Giving him false hope… but it could be a beautiful song. We’ll see where he takes it before I do anything extreme.

Before I could respond there was a knock on the open studio door. Mark was standing there, a box of pizza in hand and his usual smile on his face.

“I’ve got a delivery for erm….Ben Sherman. I’m guessing that’s you.” He placed the box down, rubbing his hands together, “So, how’s it going in here?”

Ed opened the box, giving it a quick sniff before letting the box fall closed.

“It’s going really well. Jac actually helped me with a lyric problem I had been having. Here, have a listen.”

His guitar already in hand, never straying too far away from his reach. Mark had leaned against the door as Ed played, a smile coming across my face as he sang my offered lyric. I could see Mark’s work face coming out as he listened. Once Ed’s dramatic end came to a close, Mark took a moment to digest everything.

“It’s different. I don’t know how people are going to relate to growing up around castles though.”

“It made me nostalgic for my hometown.” I piped up quickly, defending the song, “Isn’t that the point of the song? A sort of hometown anthem, throwback to your roots, to a time when everything was less complicated. Everyone can relate to that.”

Ed was positively glowing with pride. “It’s gonna be my first single.”  We both stared at him blankly as he placed the guitar aside and dug into the pizza. His chewing stopped when he realised we were both looking at him. “Wot? Do you not think it’ll be a good one?”

“It’s not that… it’s just a surprise is all.”  I was just taken aback by the matter of fact tone in his voice.

“It’s a bit early to be thinking of singles, anyway.” Mark stepping in as the voice of reason. “You should focus on narrowing down your songs before thinking about that. I know you probably have loads of songs to sort through.”

My mind flashed to the hours of songs we went through earlier. Some of them were fully written, others were just snippets cobbled together. Mark was right, we really had our work cut out for us.

“Maybe. But it’s gonna be a single. I can feel it.” He had taken a giant bite of pizza so his words were pretty muffled, as he wiped his mouth with on of the napkins.

“Well I’m gonna let you get back to it then. I just wanted to check in on you guys, see what progress you’ve made.” He tapped on the door as he left, his trademark smile on his face.

I gave the pizza a look over. I was surprised by the amount of veggies on the pizza. There was was a variety of peppers, mozzarella cheese, two types of what looked like sausage and what is this green stuff? I picked off a leaf and gave it a sniff. No surprise the only thing I could smell was sauce and pesto. Was this because I said I couldn’t see him eating a salad?

“It’s Calabrese pizza. One of my favorites. It’s bangin’, you’ll love it.” He must have seen me giving the pizza a thorough look-over.

“I’m surprised about the veggies is all, not about the pizza.” I took a bite, the spiciness of the sausage blending well with the cheese.

The conversation had died down as we ate. I was still playing the song he had written in my mind. Daisies placed on your windowsill. Out of all the flowers he could have picked, he picked daisies. There’s no way that’s a coincidence.

Ed finally broke the silence. “Beautiful singing voice, you have.” he says, dropping the hard ‘t’ sound in ‘beautiful’.

“Oh….um, thanks.” My experience with singing was limited to showers, cars and drunken karaoke. I had no desire to ever sing in front of people.

“Did I embarrass you or make you uncomfortable? I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to.” He seemed genuinely upset.

“No, you didn’t. It’s just…. you.” His confused and slightly hurt expression told me that came across the wrong way. “I meant, coming from someone of your caliber. Not that you make me uncomfortable.”

Well, that’s not entirely true.

Once the food was gone we had went back to going over our notes. The hours seemed to fly by and soon it was time to head home. As promised Ed had my car taken to a shop. When I walked out, he pulled up to the door. He popped his head out the window, his black cap turned backwards.

“Hi, I’m Ed and I’ll be your Uber driver.” A playful grin spread across his face.

I climbed into his backseat, much to his confusion. He spun around to face me, his cap knocking against his head rest, pushing it slightly off his head.

“Uh….what are you doing back there?”

“You don’t sit in the passenger seat in an uber, Ed.” I said, cocking an eyebrow at him, a whisper of a smirk on my face.

I heard him grumble something as he turned back around and pulled out of the lot. It sounded suspiciously like “...what I get for trying to be clever.” As we drove, we talked about things we liked to do in our downtime. I sighed, vaguely remembering what downtime actually was. I missed the beach something fierce. It had been ages since I had a beach day, I could definitely go for a relaxing day. Especially after the events of the last thirty six hours.

“Can you direct me? I’m not sure how to get there from here.” I could see his eyes looking at me in the rear view mirror.

“You can drop the act now, there’s no one around.”

“I’m not acting, I really don’t know how to get to your flat from the studio.”

“Oh.. okay what you want to do is…”

I directed him to my apartment, I could see the recognition of where he was at kick in when we got close. He pulled into a spot and turned back towards me.

“Do you work a shift at the Copperstill tonight? If you tell me a time, I can take you.”

“No, I’m off tonight. I’m just gonna have a nice quiet night in. Maybe relax with a glass of wine and have some well deserved me time.” I put a bit of emphasis on me time, hoping he’d take the hint that I wasn’t looking for any company.

He turned the car off. Guess he didn’t. “At least let me walk you to the door in case he’s been following you around and is waiting to ambush you.”

Shit, I didn’t even think of that. If he is waiting up there, Ed is the last person I’d want to show up with.

“I’m sure it’s okay,” I said, dismissing his concern.

“Jac, please don’t take this lightly. I’d feel like shit if something happened to you when I could have stopped it. Just, please let me look out for you.” He was almost pleading.

“Okay, if it’ll put your mind at ease.”

I collected my belongings from his floorboard and climbed out, bumping the door closed with my hip as I pulled my keys out. I saw his eyes follow the movement of my hips. He held his arm out and for a brief moment I thought he expected me to take it.

“Ladies first.” That smile coming back, playful, almost mischievous

I lead the way, my nerves on edge, hoping Dylan wasn’t waiting for me. He’s not really that mental, is he? You’re worried for nothing.

We made it up to my landing, thankfully empty. I unlocked my door and turned back to Ed. His eyes snapped back to me, my guess was they had been scanning my apartment. If it was for an intruder or his flowers, I couldn’t be sure.

“Thanks for the ride. I appreciate it.” subtly dropping that I’d like to be alone now.

“Anytime. Happy to help.” He either didn’t get subtlety or he was just ignoring it. “What time would you like to go in tomorrow?”

“Same time’s good for me.”

“Okay. Well I’ll see you at 8 then.” He gave me a wink as he turned around and walked down the hallway.

“Wait, we went in at 9!” I called after him.

“I’m your ride, remember?” He didn’t turn back or break his stride but I could hear the smile in his voice as raised his hand in a wave, “I’ll see you in the morning Jac.”

Oh that sneaky little devil.

I spent the rest of my night drinking wine and binge watching Netflix. Everytime my tv went black I could see those technicolored daisies reflected back to me. I took one of them out, a bright blue one, dried it off and pressed it between one of my books. There. Now I’ll have a memento from my first real client. When I’m hugely successful I can have something to look back on. That blue daisy was the symbol of everything I worked so hard to achieve.

As promised, Ed was knocking on my door at 8 in the morning. A smile on his face, two coffees and a bag in hand.

“I wasn’t sure what you liked, so I got you a bear claw. I hope that’s okay.” He turned the coffee carrier towards me, his eyes flicking down to it with a nod telling me to take it.

I took it, muttering a quick thanks as I closed the door, locking it behind me. We head out to the lot where I expected to see his Audi, but was instead greeted by a sleek, charcoal grey Jaguar convertible. I looked at him in confusion as a giant grin spread across his face.

“Uh, what happened to your Audi? I quite liked that… it fit you.”

“Surprise! This is yours!” His smile threatening to engulf his entire face.

Ohyoudidnotbuymeacar.

“I…uh…come again? I’m sorry, what?!” I squeaked out.

“I felt bad since your car’s in the shop and while I don’t mind driving you places, we spend all day together and I’m told I can get annoying. So I thought I’d rent you one until yours is back. To give you a break from me.” His hands running through his hair again. He does that alot, it must be a nerves thing. “I saw it and I dunno I guess I could just see you behind the wheel so I picked it…it’s too much isn’t it?”

I had just stared at him with my mouth slightly open as he spoke. Now he was looking pretty unsure of himself. A worried crease came on his forehead.

“I just…I uh…you rented me a car? Thanks…You didn’t have to do that…I could have….I could have just ubered…where’s your car?” My mind scrambling to make some sort of sentences. It decided to make several and shove them all together.

“At the hotel.” he stated simply

“Do you see the flaw in your plan?”

“What flaw? Someone’s gonna bring my car around to the studio around lunch. No flaw.”

“No, no. I’ll take you home.” It’s the least I can do, it’s your car after all. “Seriously, I can’t believe you did this.” Shaking my head in disbelief, wandering around the car.

I hope he isn’t trying to buy my affections…

“Totally worth it to see the look on your face. Shall we?” He held the keys out for me to take, the smile back on his face.

The entire drive there felt like a dream. On the way, Ed smirked, pushing the button that brought the top down, cackling like a child as the wind blew our hair around. He cranked the radio and sang loudly along. Halfway there it hit me.

“Ed…where’s your guitar? Did you leave it at the studio or take it home?”

“Mmm? Oh, no, it’s at the studio. I’ve another back in my room.”

The day was a fairly easy one. Mostly us cutting down the song list. There was our fair share of arguing about what should stay and what should go.

“Cut it, it doesn’t fit.”

“What do you mean it doesn’t fit?! That’s the point of the album!”

“It’s too different sounding than the rest of them! Cut it. It doesn’t work. That’s like trying to make peanut butter, bologna, mayo and cheese work. Leave it off. You want a good sandwich, everything different, but complementary.”

“Fine. You win. We’ll leave it off.”

We ended up ordering sandwiches because the analogy really seemed to work so by lunch that’s all the two of us could think about. It seemed like he could practically unhinge his jaw by the way he inhaled it. Not in a gross, starving animal way but in a four bites and it was gone way.

I found out his hotel wasn’t too far from my second job. No wonder he picked my bar. It was the closest. We said our goodbyes and I drove off, grabbing a quick dinner and a change of clothes before going into work. It seemed like it was gonna be an uneventful night. Which suited me fine. I still made plenty of tips, even on slow nights.

I wasn’t surprised in the least when Ed strolled through the door, sitting down at the bar.

“Hey there, can I have a pint?”

“What happened to spending time apart?” I knew he was going to show up but I couldn’t miss a chance to give him a hard time.

“I’m not here for you.” He thanked me for the beer and I just stared at him as he sipped it. “I’m here to make sure the psycho doesn’t come in here and cause a scene. So it’s not a social visit. It’s a mission.”

“Ed, you really don’t have to do that. I’ve been taking care of myself for a long time. I’m a grown up-” Okay Jac well that’s debatable, “- not some damsel in distress.”

The door swung open, clanging loudly against the wall, drawing everyone’s eyes to go to the door. I felt my stomach drop when Dylan strolled through the door like he owned the place. Snapback firmly planted on his head, tight black muscle shirt and jeans.

Oh this is going to be bad…

#ed sheeran #ed sheeran fanfic #ed sheeran fanfiction #ed sheeran smut #celebrity fanfic

[aciid--heart]

The Benefits of Meddling

Ross pesters you about your crush on one Dan Avidan. (Dan/Male!Reader)

(Word Count: 3440)

--/--/--

“You've been trying to flirt with Dan.” It's not a question. You look up from your laptop to see Ross standing in front of you with his arms crossed over his chest. You frown and take out your headphones.

“Come again?”

“You, the person that I am standing in front of right now, have been trying to flirt with Dan.” His expression twists into a frown as he plops down onto the couch next to you and shuts your laptop. “And quite frankly, you've made shit progress so far.”

“Fuck off, dude,” you groan. Ross is right, unfortunately, but that doesn't mean you want him reminding you of the fact. You'd been trying and failing to subtly woo Dan over the past month or so to no avail. You suppose that plain old compliments and cheesy pick-up lines weren't going to cut it from the start, in hindsight. In an environment where everyone is just a little too friendly with each other by default, of course it wouldn't look out of place for you to participate in the antics. There had been more than a few occasions during recording sessions where you and Arin had begun swapping lewder and lewder pick-up lines, all of which had thrown Dan into a laughing fit that made your heart flutter and ruined your ability to speak for the rest of the episode. You set your laptop aside and turn to face Ross fully. “Why do you care, anyway?"

“Hey, not trying to push it or anything,” he says with a shrug, “It's just something I've noticed.”

“And you decided to bring it up to me because…?”

"Because maybe I wanted to help you out?” You raise your eyebrows in surprise.

“Really now? I would've thought that it would be fun for you to see me running around like a headless chicken,” you point out.

“It was fun for awhile, but now it's just kinda sad. So I'm gonna make sure you take Dan on a nice romantic date and that you stop moping around like a hot gay mess,” Ross grins. You put a hand on your chest with a faux shocked expression.

“You… you think I'm hot?” Ross groans and hits you with a nearby pillow as you laugh.

“Scratch that, you're just a mess. Okay, let's get a game plan going,” he says. “Technically you've been more direct than most people would be, but Dan can be dense as a brick when people flirt with him. You need to step up your game.” You heave a sigh and unplug your headphones so you can freely fiddle with the cord.

“I dunno, Ross. Is he even into dudes?” At this, Ross pauses to frown in thought.

“Now that you mention it, I'm not sure. I don't think so?” You throw your hands up in agitation with a scowl.

“Then why are we even bothering with this, man? I'm not following your logic here.” Ross begins grinning all of a sudden, jumping up from the couch with a flourish.

“You know what? Nevermind. I didn't mean to push, so I'll just back off if it makes you feel better,” he says. You blink owlishly at him for a moment. Huh. Wasn't expecting that.

“I, uh… yeah. Good talk, I guess.” Ross gives a thumbs up.

“Good talk!"

You feel a vague sense of dread as you watch him practically skip away.

--/--/--

“Hey, (Y/N)! Just the guy I wanted to see!” You still your hand before your pencil touches the page of your sketchbook with a start. Ross is standing over you again, wearing that same unsettling grin and bouncing on the balls of his feet.

“You're looking awfully suspicious right now,” you say slowly.

“Oh, come on! You have no faith in me.”

“I have faith in you, just sometimes more than others. What's up?” Ross is still grinning.

“You busy right now?” You glance down at your empty sketchbook, an indicator of your current lack of motivation to actually draw something, and sigh.

“I guess not.”

“Great! D’ya want to play some games with me, Dan, and Holly?” Ross asks. You twirl the pencil between your fingers and shrug.

“What’re you guys playing?”

“I have no idea. Holly picked it out, but she won't tell us what it is.” He gestures to the recording room. “Says that it's a two versus two though.” You raise your eyebrows at this.

“Sure, I'll try it out. What were you guys thinking for teams?” You ask as you rise from your seat. Ross doesn't answer right away, instead choosing to make a beeline for the recording room and throw the door open. You step inside after him and see that Dan and Holly are already lounging on the couch together, chatting quietly about something. They look up and smile as you and Ross come in.

“Okay, I got Dan’s partner. What are we playing?” Both yours and Dan’s eyebrows raise as Ross firmly plants himself against Holly’s side, his grin just as strong as ever. You already don't like where this is going, but both you and Dan decide not to contest the teams.

“Here, let me start it up really quick. You ready, guys?” Holly offers you a warm smile as she begins passing out controllers to everyone. You find yourself quickly becoming nervous over the prospect of being in such close proximity with Dan in such a small group. He's already curled up onto the couch with a blanket draped over his shoulders and his glasses slipping down the bridge of his nose. You have to take a moment to keep your composure over seeing how comfortable and cute he looks right now. He sticks an arm out from underneath his blanket and pats the spot on the couch beside him.

“Come on, (Y/N)! Got a nice and cozy spot right here just for you.” His smile is just as soft and warm as he is, and your face heats up as you make your way over and take a seat next to him. You make sure to stay at a respectable distance. Once everyone is settled and has their controllers, Holly starts up the game and begins to explain it as the opening credits fade in. You nod along and inspect the buttons on the controller as each function is explained, then turn to Dan with a determined smile.

“Okay, I'm not super great at shooters, but I think we've got this. We’ve got each other’s backs, yeah?” You ask. Dan nudges your shoulder and settles closer to your side with a quiet cheer.

“Yeah, totally! Just a fair warning, though, it'll take a minute for me to even figure out how to walk,” he laughs. Ross gives you that same goddamn smile that's starting to annoy you for some reason as his character breaks away from Holly’s to begin hunting you down.

“I bet you and Dan are gonna be great together,” he says. Something feels like it’s nagging at the back of your head at that statement, but you can't quite place what it could be.

The next hour or so is spent chasing each other down in various maps with different weapons and power-ups to try and get the most kills. It's a familiar type of play style, something easy to pick up and have mindless fun with. Dan and Holly aren't half bad, but you and Ross have gotten into it with each other by targeting each other’s teammates with reckless abandon. The tense and competitive atmosphere has led Dan to migrate further and further into your side, and at this point he’s practically in your lap. He’s almost constantly giggling and yelping in surprise every time he gets killed, and your focus has begun to wane.

“Aah! (Y/N), help! Holly’s chasing me!” You adjust to your “serious gaming" position by moving to sit closer to the edge of the couch and lean forward, frowning in concentration. You spot Dan’s character attempting to frantically jump and run around in circles as Holly chases him, laughing all the while.

“Hang on a second, I got you,” you chuckle. Dan notices that you’ve moved from your original position on the couch and takes a moment to adjust accordingly. While you attempt to shoot Holly down, Dan wiggles around until he's pressed against your side again. He gets killed by Ross twice before deciding to stretch out on the couch completely with an exaggerated groan. His feet land in Ross’s lap, and his head falls to rest in yours.

“I'm all stressed out now,” Dan says. “I'm gonna find some inner peace, and then we're gonna kick your guy’s asses.” He looks up at you as he waits to respawn with a smile, and you have to fight to keep your face from heating up in embarrassment.

“You comfy there, dude?” You ask, and Dan hums an affirmative.

“Very much so. You’re pretty cozy, you know that? I could probably take a nap right now,” He grins. Your heart is thudding in your chest. Sure, Dan tends to be a bit more on the affectionate side sometimes, but you haven’t really been close to him like this before. It feels so… domestic. It takes a little too long to realize that you’ve been killed at least four times in a row with little difficulty by Ross, and you rub your eyes with a yawn.

“Oh man, I think my eyes are gonna fall out of my skull. You guys mind if I dip out?” You say.

“Honestly, I think we’re all a little tired. Ross and I are going to get some lunch. Do you guys wanna join us?” Holly asks. Dan grumbles something unintelligible as he turns onto his side and burrows himself further into his blanket. You shake your head.

“Nah, I’m fine.”

“Me too,” Dan chimes in. “Think I’m gonna stay here with (Y/N).” Ross turns a particularly energetic grin to you before opening the door for Holly.

“Alright, suit yourselves! Want me to turn out the lights?” he asks.

“Yes please,” comes Dan’s sleepy voice from your lap. “I dunno about you, (Y/N), but I'm taking a nap.” The logical part of your brain tries to come up with a reasonable excuse to let Dan rest on his own and for you to be literally anywhere else, but for some reason you can't think of anything. By the time Ross and Holly have turned off the lights and left the room, Dan had gotten up and lay back down on the other side of the couch, holding his arms open after tossing his glasses to the floor. You turn to look at him with a bewildered expression.

“Are we cuddling or not, dude?” he asks. “It's cold as dicks in here, and this blanket isn't gonna cut it for me.” You're grateful for the fact that the lights are off, otherwise your blush would be much more apparent.

“I, uh… are you sure?” you ask hesitantly.

“Yeah, of course I’m sure! Get over here already.” You take a moment to steel yourself before moving to lie down next to Dan on the couch and hesitantly wrap your arms around him. Dan has himself half draped over you in a matter of seconds, tucking his head onto your shoulder and letting out a happy hum. This can't be happening, you think to yourself . There's no way.

“I was right. You’re just as cozy as you look,” he mumbles. You can feel your heart thudding in your chest as you rest your hands on the small of his back.

“T-thanks. Now shush. No rest is gonna be had if you keep talking.”

“Fine, fine,” Dan laughs. His laughter winds down into a contented sigh as he shifts once more to curl further into you. “G’night, (Y/N).”

“It's like 11, dude.”

“I know what I said.”

You don't know how long you lay there after Dan falls asleep, just reveling in the steadiness of his breathing and the warmth he exudes.

--/--/--

The next couple of weeks are filled with instances of Ross becoming more and more suspicious and of you being unable to keep yourself from constantly thinking about Dan. Napping with him in your arms had been… nice. You'd had to do your best to act normally once you both had woken up, but he seemed just as chipper as ever, as if sleeping in the arms of a friend that just so happened to be another dude was something he did everyday. You're not quite sure how he feels about that day still, and you haven't thought to ask.

After the gaming session that day, Ross had begun inviting you to more and more outings that somehow always ended up with you spending alone time with Dan. First it was a movie that he had been planning on seeing with Dan; something else had come up last minute, though, so he gave you his ticket instead and even offered to give you money for snacks and popcorn.

“Okay, we have to get the large popcorn,” You'd declared. Dan had raised an eyebrow at you with a confused laugh.

“Why?”

“Because, Dan! We need to get that spicy free refill with extra butter. It's just tradition.” You don't know how Ross managed to wrangle Dan into seeing a horror movie with him, but it became apparent that Dan didn't know either by the time his hand was tightly laced in your own and he was leaning into your side for support. You’d spent most of the evening afterward cleaning your apartment with the radio on full blast to try and drown out your thoughts.

After the movie fiasco came another instance where you, Ross, and Dan were slated to record some episodes together. Arin had ended up calling Ross to work on another project last minute, which left you and Dan to record the episodes by yourselves. You don't think you've laughed that hard in your life, and it was an absolute delight to make Dan laugh just as much in turn. There had also been an insane amount of flirting that you hadn’t expected, and you’re not sure whether or not any of it was actually genuine. You know you were being serious, but ending the session left a strange feeling in the pit of your stomach and the urge to do something more. It had been somewhat depressing to realize that what was originally a small and frivolous crush on Dan had turned into something much more intense and consuming. You most certainly knew how to feel about that discovery.

--/--/--

You’re almost finished getting ready to go home for the night when Ross decides to corner you.

“(Y/N)! Glad I caught you before you left!” he chirps. He looks just as chipper as usual, with that same glint in his eyes that almost makes you want to punch him now.

“What’s up, man?” You ask as you pull your jacket on.

“I was just wondering how things with Dan were going.” You almost get your arm stuck in a sleeve as you try to hurry and put your jacket on faster.

“Things are fine,” you respond curtly. “We’ve been hanging out more lately because of you, but that’s about it.” You grab your keys from your desk and pat your pockets to make sure you’re not forgetting anything. Ross frowns.

“What do you mean, that’s it? You guys were flirting a ton in the episodes you recorded last week!”

“That doesn't even matter! It was all for shits and giggles to him, and I still don’t even fucking know if he’s into dudes!” You snap. “So unless you can bring me something that tells me otherwise, then I'm just gonna sit here with my useless fucking mess of a gay crush and be done with it.” Without waiting to hear a response from Ross, you push past him and out of the office to go home.

You can't sleep that night.

--/--/--

“Hey, (Y/N)! How’s it going?” You resist the urge to let out a loud groan as Dan approaches your desk with a wave. You’re tired beyond belief after not being able to get any sleep from the night before, and you don't have the energy to deal with anyone right now.

“I'm… alright, I guess,” You reply. “What about you?”

“Same, actually.” He runs a hand through his hair and lets out a loud sigh. You sit up straighter in your chair at his tone. It seems less energetic than usual, and you notice now that he's wearing his glasses and sporting dark circles under his eyes. You frown.

“What’s up? Is everything okay?” You ask.

“Yeah, don't worry about it. I just haven't been getting much sleep lately,” he says. You take a glance at the tea on your desk, the only true anchor keeping you tied to the world of consciousness at the moment, and set your work down.

“Are you sure? You don't look too great,” you point out. Dan shrugs, reaching up to tug at the ends of the scarf that's tied loosely around his neck.

“Guess I've had a lot on my mind lately,” he eventually replies.

“Hey, let me know if you want to talk about anything, okay? Don't go and lone wolf it if you're feeling depressed,” you say. “It never feels good to be stewing in your own feelings like that."

“Thanks, man. I appreciate it.” Dan offers you a smile before turning to continue his walk to the recording room. Was… was it just you, or did that smile look almost pained?

You can't focus too much on your work for awhile, even after taking a break and getting something to eat.

--/--/--

“(Y/N), I need to talk to you.” You look up from your laptop to see Dan standing in front of you with his arms crossed over his chest. You frown and take out your headphones.

“What’s up?” He shuffles awkwardly and seems to be making eye contact with everything except you.

“I, uh…” Dan looks around for a moment and seems to just now notice the open space both of you are in. “Can we go somewhere more private?” You nod and close your laptop. He beckons you to follow as he begins making his way to a closed off meeting area. You take seats next to each other on one of the couches, and you wait for Dan to start talking. He looks nervous about something.

“So, I… I talked with Ross recently,” he begins, and you feel your stomach drop. This can't be about…? He heaves a deep sigh, as if to steel himself for whatever it is that he's about to say next.

“He told me that he's been… that he's been trying to set us up together,” Dan rushes out. “Romantically.”

“Romantically.” It's not a question.

“Yeah. And, um… he said that you knew about it? Which I'm honestly kind of hoping for because I was thinking about asking you out anyway?” Dan’s rambling at this point, but you stop short as you fully process what he's saying and feel your heart jump into your throat.

“Dan, I-"

“God, I know it must be weird and gross- you're probably not even- wait, you are.” His eyes widen. “Oh my god, I’m so fucking sorry! I forgot that you were gay!”

“Are you being serious right now?” You blurt out. “I’ve been sitting over here with this… this ridiculous high school crush this whole time! I was just keeping it to myself because I thought you weren't into dudes!” You feel like you're in some kind of weird dream. Dan looks just as bewildered as you feel right now.

“I didn't think I was either!” he exclaims. “All I know is that we started hanging out more, and it was really nice, and- and then I guess you started looking more attractive to me?” Dan looks into the palms of his hands with a frown. “I realized that I was having feelings I haven't had before, and I didn't know what to do. I didn't want to ruin our friendship.”

“It would take a lot for you to ruin our friendship, dude.” You offer Dan a warm smile. “So, uh… now that it's been established we're two dudes that happen to have some gay romantic feelings for each other, do you want to have dinner sometime?” Dan laughs.

“You know what? That sounds amazing.”

You make a mental note to thank Ross later.

#Game Grumps #dan avidan #dan avidan x reader #dam avidan/reader #ninja sex party #starbomb #saiya-speak #txt #grumps #danny #grumps fic