#and had such a fucky life

[podcastwizard]

me, at 2 pm, when the stores are open: you don't have any little treats in the house. if you want a little treat later, you have to go to the store and buy one now.

me: *does not go to the store*

me, at 9 pm, when the stores are closed: tweat? 🥺 no tweats for me? 🥺🥺 cries 🥺 cries for one thousand years 🥺🥺🥺

#fucki n #no one has had a harder life than me

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

really channeled my inner yassified!howdy today via being practically comatose all day due to Migraine, then as soon as i woke up i demolished so many tacos in one sitting. he's just like me fr

#also might i say that its fucking evil that i got two bad migraines in the span of three days #like what the fuck was that? who authorized it! #usually i get at Least a month between them! #but nooooooo this week in particular said Fuck Ya Life #and on Update Eve too smh.... #i was ready to like... perhaps share excitement with people.... answer some asks with silly scribbles... nope! #for reference the migraine hit a little before 11 am #and the pain stopped around.... 6-7 pm #it took my whole day! the absolute nerve!!! #and now my brain's gonna be fucky tomorrow... On The Day..... #nightmare nightmare nightmare- #absolutely unprompted #no but seriously i was so fucking hungry. i INHALED those tacos like idk if i breathed #i had a very small teensy breakfast and then Pain Pain Pain and then a quick snooze to recover some energy #and then it was after 9!!! and i hadnt eaten Anything!!! #man i fuckin hate migraines... #it always takes a full day after to recover. steals two every time smh smfh #looking at butterfly!howdy: you're just like me... im just like you.... #at least i finished a celebratory Art for tomorrow b4 the Graine! tis queued! idk if i like it but im posting it anyway! #now if yall will excuse me im gonna fuck around for a bit and then go back to sleep #i need my strength & energy for tomorrow

[benetnvsch]

i love how bones always animates Kunikida with pointy lil teeths- that's so cool and sexy of them - so have this,,, crooked pointy teeth Kunikida,,,, ough yea :sadthumbsup:

(not sure if i actually like this or am just Used To It after staring at it for hours until 5 am - the sketch did not look like him SOLELY bc I couldn't draw his hair right and the smile threw me off LOL - also also,, my requests,,, are open as always- even if u sent before and haven't gotten to it yet I prommy I read and appreciate and will get to them when I have more time )

#she can smile as a treat #idc if it looks ooc LET KUNIKIDA EXPERIENCE JOY LMAO #kite draws #kite watches bsd #bungou stray dogs #bsd #kunikida #kunikida doppo #:dances: #not sure if it looks actually good or I've just Gotten Used to it - #everything looks good if u throw a gradient map on it tho LMAO #inspired by ME and my fucked up lil chompers- I had braces on and off for like a decade and they're still fucky wucky #but they're cool and pointy so who's the real winner? #also this picture might have cost me my cs data structures grade bc I decided to draw it instead of finishing my already late assignment #and studying for my final but low-key who cares #IF ANYONE knows how to code a hashmap from a dynamically allocated array lemme know and I will draw u endless kunikidas for life - #GPA is temporary- Kunikida is forever or whatever KJDHKDJH #curious who actually read tags bc I be writing my life story here #sorry for oversharing guys will happen again </3 #but if u are reading this u are cool and hot and im kissing u on the forehead (platonically) mwah - #thank u #this is so cringe fail of me ill shut up now

[iampikachuhearmeroar]

I went on a high tea cruise in sydney yesterday for one of my primary school besties hens party/bachelorette

#life #about me #shut up ilona #ilona actually shares her life with her followers for once lol #meet the face and roar behind the pikachu #selfie #rare mysterious roaring pikachu sighting #i had smart quippy hashtags but they dont belong here lol #it was a cruise around circular quay and syd harbour #then we had cocktails #time to lose some followers lmao #i know my dress is a but fucky in the first pic but i couldnt post it on fb so i'll post on here instead #and in another one my bra strap and underpinning singlet strap #showing but who fuckin #*but who fuckin cares lmao #i like posting my stuffed up selfies on here lmao

[naggingatlas]

i think people's takes on jev being this like thousand year old creatura are fascinating and fit even my interpretation of his character and place in the story (as like. a representation of the setting at large. an archaic force being shoved into a simulation/loop/machine. cosmis horror kinda shit) but i also think it's 1. funnier 2. scarier 3. more emotionally scarring to imagine him as like. a 30, 40, 50 year old man. just a quirky little guy. he had a childhood, maybe he got picked up by seam as an urchin and they were a travelling magic act and clownery and judy n punch duo and they stole apples from the market and he climbed trees w his little paws before someone made him wear shoes. he was a brash teenager and he played the accordion and kept all of his trinkets in a little chest he used to sleep in. seam made his suits, from his own crayon drawings. he was a middle aged man disenchanted with his work and he sought shelter from the boredom in bothering others. and he ran away so many times and he slept outside and he helped seam make their own beer and mead and they still played the accordion and the hurdy-gurdy together. isn't it scarier to make him a normal man? who turns into what we see? doesn't that hurt more doesn't that make his character even deeper. he was just like you and this means That can happen to you too, grounding stuff like that is like one of the basic rules of horror. and then he just goes to jail they straight up lock a mentally ill guy with all those horrors in the basement - not an old-as-time-itself demon, not a savage beast, but. a man. jevil russian sleep experiment au.

again im not calling anyone out its just an interpretation ive NEVER seen anyone else come up with and i genuinely wonder why and if my other jev readings continue to be weird as fuck to other people

#jevil #its kinda like. a reverse dc joker situation. the jerker does get like. INSIDIOUSLY scary and mind-fucky when #you turn him into. i wouldn't say satan himself that takes the edge off. but something completely unknown. #im casually writing a batman script in my own continuity and i could never keep up w All The Lore cuz thats not what batman is abt to me #and i took most of my inspiration from a serious house on serious earth and. those intermission strips in snyder's endgame #where people from an asylum or a nursing home i can't quite remember that had encounters w joker #describe him as all sorts of things but not human. and not in like oh he's a monster but like That Is Not A Homo Sapiens #and they're not listened to because they were all suffering from delusions and hallucinations before that but #yea. i hate jerker origin stories i hate them with my whole entire heart. make him the unknowable. not even a demon not satan #nothing of folklore or religion not even a lovecraftian something-something. just an entity. maybe not even an entity. he's an scp to me #not even a character. just a concept with a design. an apparition made to teach humans a lesson #you dont know how he got here you dont know why you wont ever know when he'll be gone. #give me judge holden but even more amorphous and. not scarring me for life. but u get the idea #im tryyyiinnnggg to write joker like an apparition of a schizo psyche like my dreams. #my favorite song to 'write' j to is freefall by rainbow kitten surprise. and he's just a figment of bruce's imagination here #just a little more tangible. vague and wrong but it's j. probably. and it's bruce's pov. it's a couple lines of dialogue #that's j. jevil is the opposite.

[burningboxes]

a bit of a more serious post than usual so if you don't really wanna see that, i won't be upset at all if you keep scrolling.. the only reason why this is under a cut is because i myself don't really wanna look at it every time i scroll through my blog (is that a thing people do?? or am i just very self absorbed??? LMAO)

i'm a little concerned about urban himself and the direction he's taking his series.

like.. i'm all for creative expression, and i'm all for the idea of nobody policing anyone else's creative work for what can and can't be done in a certain narrative (let alone fiction in general), but i feel like the more interaction urban has had with his fanbase and the analog horror community in general, the more it's been affecting both him and his series.

i think that i should address his twitter presence and """controversy""" first, because that's the thing that's on everyone's mind when they hear "urbanspook" at this point.

i wanna preface this by saying that i fucking hate how people have been responding to all of this. what chezzkids and pastra are doing & have done is, indeed, harassment; they aren't criticizing urban's series, they're saying it shouldn't exist. both pastra and chezzkids can be quoted saying effectively the same thing: "urban should not have a platform, and by supporting him and his art, we're encouraging other people to make things similar to it, and that's bad." if you don't see the problem with that, let me spell it out for you: these are fascist, pro-censorship views that align with those of harmful far-right ideologies which call for the suppression of content made by and in support of marginalized people. if you're willing to overlook that because "icky shock horror bad!!!!", then i think you should log off of the internet and spend some time re-evaluating your perception of the world and those around you, especially those who are different than you. this man has been the victim of a targeted harassment campaign for, at most, a full year, and mocking him for lashing out as a result of said harassment is far more ableist than the phrase "autistic furry horror" will ever be.

with that being said, i greatly dislike the way urban conducts himself on twitter. yes, i know it's supposed to be ironic; yes, i know he's "trolling" and that everything he says on there is disingenuous..

...but this is the internet.

no one is going to genuinely believe it's all a big joke, no matter how many times urban says it and no matter how true it may be. they already don't see him from a very positive perspective, even if they don't have much of a justifiable reason to do so (although their reasoning is understandable to an extent), so playing up a purposefully "edgy, immature, rage-bait" persona might drive people away who may have otherwise been interested in the series. i've seen several testimonials from people who enjoy the series and have even created fan work, but are put off by urban's behavior on twitter, and some people have even gone so far as to claim that the series in of itself is objectively bad and devoid of any value solely because of the twitter situation despite not having watched a single video in the series. yeah, the whole point of the joke may be self-parody, the punchline might be that urban is playing up the analog horror community's wildly inaccurate perception of how he is as a person, but i feel like the joke's gone on a little bit too long to still be anything but harmful to urban and his presence on the internet. he's stated that after finishing his current series, he wants to step away from analog horror altogether and work on other things, but i fear that if the twitter antics continue the way they're going, that might not end up happening; either due to a lack of willingness on his part (after all, being around so much negativity for such a long time typically affects people very adversely), or due to a lack of remaining audience.

despite my concerns, however, it must be said that i don't know what any other communities he's active in are like, and if i had to guess, i would assume that his future work under the "urbanspook" name would be more in tune with his actual interests pertaining to the horror genre as opposed to anything in the orbit of the analog horror community. i could be completely wrong about the twitter business, and urban's effectiveness at creating things completely divorced from analog horror may not be compromised in the slightest. however, as a fan of his analog horror series, i still feel that it's important to suggest this possibility: even after it's finished, The Painter will still exist, and its association with this particular time in urban's online endeavors may make some people wary of giving it a chance when they otherwise may have enjoyed it.

speaking of urban's work, i think i should elaborate more on how urban's interactions with his fanbase are affecting the series itself as opposed to him and his online presence.

to put my view of where things are going in terms of urban's handling of the series, i remember reading a magazine interview with him at some point (i think it was either right before or right after PIGS was released) where he mentions that he got the idea of there being two killers from fan theories, which!! on paper it seems like a cool thing to do!! but recently with all of these new lore additions (ex., mask guy missing his face and acting like a dog, painter being female, revealing the killers' names at all, the episodes not being in chronological order, etc.), i'm starting to notice a sort of "matpat effect" (to coin a phrase) going on, where he's writing the story in such a way that canonizes fan theories just for the sake of canonizing those fan theories.. i don't find it very difficult to believe that all the people in his instagram/youtube comments asking the same exact questions over and over may have influenced his writing decisions a bit, and even though he himself has admitted he isn't the best writer, i think that the earlier episodes are the strongest of the series (sans PIGS and FAMILY, i love those two with all my heart and soul) and that urban's writing is best when it isn't influenced by the fanbase. (if anyone wants me to elaborate on this, let me know!! i might make a post at some point about what i think is different between the first few episodes and the newer episodes if anyone wants me to; i think legitimately analyzing this series is super fun and i have a lot of things to say about it!!)

all in all, i'm just really worried about urban. in the beginning, he seemed so adamant about being individual and unique with his series and his online presence; he defied so many expectations that people had regarding analog horror and those who create it and seemed so much happier to work on this series... but now it seems like he just wants to get it all over with so he can work on things he actually wants to work on, and all anyone sees him as is a caricature of someone who never even really existed in the first place outside of a moment of completely justified rage. his heart isn't in it anymore; at least, it doesn't seem like it to me, and i really hope that eventually all of this superficial, reactionary """controversy""" bullshit blows over and that maybe urban's remaining time in the analog horror community can be made at least a little bit more pleasant.

#boxes full of rambles #let's get serious #urbanspook #the painter urbanspook #urbanspook analog horror #i can already hear the twitter pissbabies laughing at this post and calling me a ''MeAtRiDeR 🤓'' but honestly? i dont giv a fucky #i'd rather support a guy whose only crime was quite literally doing a little trolling #than people who unapologetically engage in targeted harassment against someone for creating something that they cant milk for content #or for.. [checks notes] not adhering to the word of the Almighty God of Analog Horror Alex Kister/sarcasm #(if it isnt obvious already i hate the mandela catalog fandom and alex kister LMAO) #no but seriously #i dont know urban and i probably never will (at least not personally) #but i care about him a lot and i support him 110% #even if he might be a little bit of an asshole on twitter sometimes #he made something that served as a gateway for me to meet incredible people and experience some incredible things #even the bad stuff that came from being in this fandom taught me valuable lessons and gave me new insight on life #this is the first fandom that i've ever really felt comfortable and welcome in; the first fandom that i might've actually had an impact on #and no amount of whiny puritans or washed-up fnaftubers or subpar ''horror'' creators can change that #yeah the series might not be the best but things dont have to be The Best™ or even objectively good at all in order to be enjoyed #and i enjoy this series. i enjoy the series' fanbase. i enjoy that despite it all this series EXISTS and nothing can make it not exist #it happened and no one can change that and people will inevitably make more things like it and i LOVE THAT #so in conclusion fuck pastra fuck chezzkids fuck minaxa ESPECIALLY urban stays winning and so does this fanbase kthxbye

[dirtbra1n]

#THERES SO MUCH ROOM FOR METANARRATIVE IN SSMYVERSE THOUGH IS THE THING. #would kagi be upset if he realized that so much of his life revolves around hirano. is all i mean to ask #because really i don’t know. no clue #i think my problem is that if i had a hand in anything official i’d have everything just so weird and fucky #Yeah sure metaphorical vivisection kagi making knowing eye contact with the camera unreal lighting. i should learn cinematography truthfully

[jnixz]

DnD but the squad gets transported to the Darkest Dungeon Estate

alternatively they become available to DD2 Crossroads since the world has gon' get fucked and things from other worlds are popping up into the equation

#ideas #ramblings #anyway just had a thought of 'hey what if your dnd show cast get crossovered to DD' i mean they gotta be used to that shit y'know #thinking bout how fucky it would be to witness a party go through an expedition without stress mechanic and treating it as an everyday life #or alternatively dnd char being weirded out with the subconscious addition of stress mechanic #also cant forget that conflict with non-human race chars that'd be interesting (also religion maybe)

[flowercrowngods]

took my phone to get the display repaired yesterday and now the keyboard is fucky, which means i can't in good fun write tumblr ficlets on my phone anymore :( the end of an era nobody cares about

#i am being so mentallly ill and dramatic rn but every aspect of my life sucks righ joes #... see what i mean with the fucky keyboard? 😭 #gonna go cry about it bye tumblr fics #(yea i could go have the repair guy take a look at it again but the thing is i already had issues with faceID which he had to fix #so i don't wanna go back AGGAIN and make him fix my display 😭😭😭 sure i paid 140€ for this but uh #god i'm just. i'm so tired #hey actually let me listen to the smiths about it 🫡 #dio.txt #tbd #sorry for the venting 😭

[love-bokumono-fics]

Me realizing (in the middle of my work shift) that 1. It's the 15th and I never did the casual prompts for the month 2. It's Tuesday night and I forgot the weekly post.

#night shift life has time getting all kinds of fucky for me these days #didn't help that i didn't sleep on sunday bc i had daytime obligations #i think the casual prompt I'll just call a wash for the month and pick up in september #the fresh crop post I'll do first thing tomorrow after i wake up

[ohbutwheresyourheart]

someone take my fingers away until I learn not to turn tiny zits into huge open wounds shfhkasdxh

#my arms are atrocious to look at rn #I keep covering them up with plasters to stop myself #and then my brain hones in on the newest tiniest imperfection to pick at #doesn't help that i have the uhhh what's it called the fucking chicken skin thing #keratosis pilaris #so my skin is just a buffet of tiny textues to pick at #also holy fuck i googled chicken skin to find the name of the thing and???? #apparently it's due to low omega 3 levels??? #nhs website why did YOU not tell me this when I first searched it months ago #all my life I've had weird fucky skin and never known??? i could??? fix it??? #screams and cries in undiagnosed medical issues

[bronzetomatoes]

It looks disgustingly spring-like for 4 days until Christmas

#look anika's talking! #ive never in my life had a white christmas #not once has the meagre amounts of snow we collected covered the grass #the NS perimeter is like 99% coastline so our climate is fucky

[munamania]

I AM KILLING MYSELF FR ACTUALLY YOU WONT HEAR FROM ME ANYMORE okay i’m sorry for the scary clickbait but like. i want to die. DIE!!!!!

#fucking 12 year old drama are u joking. #i. ok. so i had my lactose intolerance bad tummy issues was terrified i was gonna shit my pants in class tbh. sorry for the tmi #so my period took the back burner i was like i’m not bleeding that much i’ll just wear a lil tampon and be fine #ok. flash forward three hours later im walking home i’m like hmmm this doesn’t feel right #get home hoping i’m wrong and there’s a giant fucki kg blood staying #honestly at this point in my life wouldn’t care that much bc i yk. was just walking home no one really saw me #EXCEPT. EXCEPT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! fucking film girl. i went down the stairs in front of her and then yk we split apart but still like. #there’s no way. no way she didn’t see .000001% fucking #chances she didn’t see. AND o was having a whole little moment about last semester so maybe she was just sat there pitying me for having a #middle school moment rn. probably not. i mean she was normal #and if that happened i wouldn’t be judgy but man idk people!!! and that’s EMBARRASSING!!!!!!!!!!!!! #I HATE MY LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #just because this was so dramatic i’m gonna tag it but know that i’m like fine. #suicide ment #lol. sorry #abby talks #well at least i see her again today and it’s not like another week of agonizing

[chisatowo]

Daisy is funny to me because he tried sooooo hard to be a stereotypical straight girl but he just soooo failed and is now a gay man who will bite people. Also mental illness

#rat rambles #oc posting #also autism because psyce this is the the weird little girl to gay man pipeline again #well ramp was the one that make daisy go wait fuck shit am I trans oh no #despite melody being very gender fucky they were also like the only trans person daisy knew for most his life #and since he didnt rly relate to their experiences or gender expression he just assumed he couldnt be trans #mostly because he rly does like presenting very femininly #and while ramp doesnt present femininly she does use she/her while also being a man so they helped give daisy more perspective #and by that I mean melody was like this is ramp shes my boyfriend :) and that sentence echoed in daisy's brain for the next month straight #and then he asked ramp abt gender stuff and she damn near had a panic attack right there but was also excited but also terrified #honestly a lot of ramps stuff is just them being like ohhhh god Im having to do responsible adult things ohhhhhh fuck #but yeah daisy character arcs have been rattling in my brain a lot recently I love him sm #cringe fail little man who I am picking up by the scruff of the neck and punting (affectionate)

[witherrosealliance]

i personally am going the utterly inadvisable route of “watching every single empires s2 pov” while also watching every double life pov. help me.

#i’m probably going to have to drop a few double life povs……. #tbf i have. far too much time on my hands. so it maybe might be possible for me to do. #talks #though uh. i am currently doing that empires s1 timeline project as well. #i had to take a break cause internet was fucky for a while. but it’s still going. #over halfway through katherine’s pov. #empires

[stars-in-our-skies]

i know i mostly post mlm stuff but ive just been consumed with thoughts of Ladies lately. theres no other way to say it. girls pretty

#idk if it's attraction or just an aesthetic thing but anyway i admire them :) #gonna preface this by saying that im demi and mostly only find ppl i know i dont have a shot with attractive. it's like a fantasy thing #demi? gray? idk it's ace. i've never been attracted to ppl ive seen in person. #except for one or two friends i had and genuinely felt like i could be with my entire life #u know how ppl will experience attraction to fictional/unattainable partners because it's 'safe'? like that #so right off the bat i already have issues determining attraction #it's pretty easy for me to identify my attraction to men bc i've been forcibly separated from the Male Gender my whole life #(as an afab person in a centrist family in the conservative south) #and bc my gender is so fucky i can easily identify that attraction as queer #but i've disassociated myself from the female one so now i can't ever tell if i even DO like them #bc i just have so much resent towards being female or considered female in any proximity #like i dont hate women by any means but theres a lot of pent up anger there so my attraction to them (if it exists) is messy #as in pent up anger towards abuse from women in my life + misogyny + gender roles + etc #and im uncomfortable with being in a sapphic relationship if the other person is a gay binary woman-- #bc im not comfortable being perceived as a woman. ya feel me? #... now with that said ... ashnikko is hot #ashnikko is both attraction and gender envy. i think #indieposting