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#and has since continued doing this regularly
absolutebl · 4 hours
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Hi ABL! Can I be what I'm assuming is the 80th person to ask for your analysis about the move of Prem and Boun to GMMTV? Particularly, any thoughts on:
Why did the move happen and does it mean anything that they moved together?
What might this mean for new series with them as a pair and the potential to break up their pairing?
Are there any GMMTV talents that you'd love to see Boun or Prem paired with?
Thanks in advance for any insights!
BounPrem move to GMMTV
DISCUSS!
AKA Thai BL industry speculation, my favorite game!!
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I am actually cautiously optimistic about this.
They're an ideal pair for GMMTV to get. Especially if GMMTV continues optioning Japanese IP. These two are beautifully suited to A LOT of yaoi. Just imagine them in a Thai version of Takumi-kun? !
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Rise up Broccoli Nation... let's talk kabedons!
Why did the move happened?
From BounPrem's perspective:
I think they've been pretty underserved by their current home and that home is pushing them towards pulps (I refuse to talk about Even Sun and I found Between Us pretty darn disappointing too.) If they want higher quality narratives and content, GMMTV is a better home for them.
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Also it will handle their brand better for sponsorship and longevity. I was shocked not to see them on more stuff in Bangkok. Most sponsor gigs and major promos and billboards and such were GMMTV pairs and... ZeeNunew
Right now there are good indication for pairs who WANT to stick together (even while aging up) that GMMTV can handle it - because of what they've done with OffGun and TayNew recently.
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It's clear that GMMTV will throw a good pair at decent content (or at least popular stuff) pretty regularly. With GMMTV, BounPrem stand an even better chance at landing a prestige piece, since they have an established fan base.
From the pair's perspective, this is a good career move.
Now, from GMMTV's perspective, let's talk...
Does it mean anything that they moved together?
Yes, it most likely means GMMTV signed them as a BL pair. Some of GMMTV's other hot properties like EarttMix, OffGun, and TayNew clearly want to do (and have done) more than just BL for GMMTV. Even "second levels" like JimmySea are being split for het dramas. It means they lose their BL talent for a good potion of filming season, while they film some other property.
If GMMTV can sign a high value pair that's happy to stay doing BL regularly, that will work very well for them.
ALSO they've add a hot property pair into their stable that's on the EarthMix (highly commercial) level AND willing to do high heat. I think this is key. GMMTV has shown they want to move into sexier stuff (NC-GMMTV?) with things like Moonlight Chicken and Only Friends. VERY few of their existing pairs are willing to go there, and can do it as well as, BounPrem. These 2 do lust and thirst in a way that most GMMTV pairs can't (they are just too brotherly with each other).
I think this is a sign GMMTV want's to enter the after dark market, and move international markets too. (The higher heat stuff tends to be particularly popular outside of Thailand.)
Also, I think it's pretty clear some of GMMTV's hoped for heavy hitters last year (like PerthChimon) aren't working out for them, so it makes sense to onboard a solid bankable pair whole cloth at this juncture.
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I said a while ago I thought GMMTV would make a play for ZeeNunew. I didn't have BounPrem on the list as a backup option, but these pairs are kinda similar, and fill the same niche.
Anyway, smart move all 'round, IMHO.
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What might this mean for new series with them as a pair and the potential to break up their pairing?
I think the pairing is now less likely to break up than ever.
I think they've possibly been tempted to sign BY a prestige new series carrot. We could get something historical with them in it. Or, like I said, something Japanese IP. Probably higher heat than GMMTV has given us in a full BL.
Eyes Target the Finder thoughtfully. (It was VERY popular when I was over there.)
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Are there any GMMTV talents that you'd love to see Boun or Prem paired with?
Like I said, I think GMMTV's objective in signing them would actually be the opposite - NOT to split the pair.
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But if you just want me to speculate for fun (and piss stadn off), I'm always happy to do so.
First is great with anyone, so First with either... or both. First is like the MSG of GMMTV, always improves the taste of any dish.
It might be fun to see Jimmy paired with Prem. But in all honestly I really want a Jimmy + Khaotung thing to happen.
I think Mix has some BDE too, so I think he should play the seme for a change, why not him and Prem?
As for Boun, I think he's a little more dependent on the pairing. It's hard for me to imagine him with someone else. Lemme think. Someone with a very soft screen presence, maybe? How about Gun?
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Heh he, now I'm just winding ya'll up.
Let me have my foibles.
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ahhhhh i’m so fucking close to getting the IN 1cc but Reisen keeps wearing me down to where i can’t clear Kaguya but the last two runs i’ve had have made it to her final spell (i can only do about 1 or 2 runs a day cuz the malice cannon puts a lot of strain on my wrist) and in all honesty i probably shoulda beat it the last time my first 3 stages were the best they’d ever been and i sightread Keine’s Last Spell but stage 4 was p rough for me but that was my fault for streaming and talking and not paying attention. reimu’s like danmaku barrier is definitely like a top 3 spellcard for me along w okuu’s final spell because it’s just so much fun and a really cool concept i think anyways goodnight
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numbuh424 · 1 year
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#I try to always remind myself that if me from 3 or 5 or 8 years ago saw my art she'd be so stoked abt it#bc the algorithm is almost never in my favor and it's hard not to sometimes feel :/ when I work on something for so long#and literally right after posting it I alr see it gathering dust lol#the algorithm is especially gonna be a huge asshole towards me now that I'm busy with school and can't post regularly#but it's not like it was any different anyways even when I was posting literally every week#I have my excuses now for not posting regularly but if posting like once or twice a month has no difference from posting like twice a week#then I may permanently just slow my posting bc it is genuinely hitting how hard I was trying to get a fully rendered new thing out weekly#idk idk drawing is so fun and I could do it forever but posting it online sometimes does not bode well for how I perceive my work#yes likes n follows don't matter in the grand scheme of things blah blah blah but a steady following can't hurt#especially since that sometimes translates to getting more commissions#or hell just hearing something abt my work in return#I spend way too much time wondering what it is I'm doing wrong and cope with it by starting a new piece everytime#hence why I draw as much as I did/do lol#this turned out to be longer than I expected I hope no one read thru all this go look at my art instead#elle is talking again#dumps this all on tumblr so I can continue to seem mysterious and nonchalant on other social media 🚶‍♀️
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cryolyst · 3 months
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would it be insane to ask out the guy that's going to quit soon. bc we aren't close or anything but i just wanna see what happens. yes right.
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kpopfanfictrash · 4 months
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The Ten Days of Ex-Mas (M) (Pt. 2)
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Author: kpopfanfictrash
Genre:  Holiday / Second Chance!AU / Hockey!AU
Pairing: Jimin / Reader (F)
Synopsis: Three months following the worst break-up of your life, you finally feel ready to start moving on. The world, it seems, has other ideas when you pick up the phone and find your ex-boyfriend calling.
Jimin Park, star right winger of the NHL and (until recently), the love of your life, has a very large problem. Despite the courage he regularly shows on the ice, in his personal life, Jimin is kind of a coward. When you broke up this fall, he could barely admit it. Not to his neighbors. Not to his friends. Not even to his family, who are expecting him home for Christmas. In a desperate plea for more time, Jimin begs you to pretend you’re still dating – and to his surprise, you agree. Faced with a second chance, Jimin is determined not to squander it. If only fixing a relationship were as easy as falling in love.
Word Count: 44,416 (19K in part 2)
Author’s Note: Part of the Jingle All the Way collaboration with @leahsfavefics, @kithtaehyung, @yoonia, @cybrsan, and @sugaurora! Unfortunately, due to the new Tumblr text post limitations, this has to be published as multiple parts. THIS IS NOT THE START OF THE STORY. Please read Part 1 first, here.
Rating: 18+
NSFW Warnings: oral (F), multiple orgasms (F), fingering, sex in a semi-public area (brief), breast play, spanking, masturbation (M, F), dirty talk, mention of toys
A/N: all collab fics incorporate the phrase, "the holidays aren't so bad with you around."
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A/N: This is not part 1. Read part 1 here.
“Jimin!” Hana cries, plowing into his legs. “Y/N! We’re skates!”
Lifting your brows, you crouch to boop her red pom-pom hat. “Of course, you are!” you say. When Hana runs off, you stand and lean closer. “Do you think she meant they have skates, or that we’re pretending to be them?”
“Guess we’ll find out,” Jimin chuckles, taking your hand to cross the street.
You seem surprised but continue, falling into step alongside him. If pressed, Jimin could say he’s holding your hand because you’re around his family but truthfully, that’s not why. He’s holding your hand because he hasn’t touched you for twelve hours, crumbling something vital deep in his chest.
Jimin’s mom waves you over to where they’ve occupied several benches. “Welcome,” she says, gesturing to the group. “The girls picked out skates for everyone – correct sizes, of course.”
Stifling a laugh, Jimin looks at the skates. Of course, the twins picked them out since they’ve chosen only the most ridiculous concepts. Each year, a main Garland attraction is the infamous holiday ice skates. Imagine a Christmas staple, and there’s an ice skate for it. Snowmen skates wait for Jimin, complete with tiny carrot noses.
“How did you know my favorites,” you gasp, bending to reach for your candy cane skates.
“Cuz we’re smart!” Ari yells, wriggling free of Hoseok’s arms.
Jisoo grabs her by the waist, picking her up to sit down on a bench. Jimin takes you by the hand again, leading you to a semi-secluded bench. Glancing over your shoulder, you watch as he drags you away from his family.
“Sit,” Jimin demands, and your eyes widen.
Somewhat flustered, you obey. “Jimin,” you hiss when he kneels before you. “No one is watching us. You don’t have to…”
He lifts a brow. “I don’t have to do anything, Y/N.”
You fall silent when he begins unlacing your boots, setting them aside on the cold ground. Jimin doesn’t miss the way you shiver when his hand curls around your ankle, nor the look on your face when he scoots even closer.
“Jimin…”
Flashing a wicked smile, he looks up. “Yes?”
A lump moves in your throat when you swallow. “Nothing.”
“Nothing?” Brows lifted, Jimin leans forward, pressing his shoulder against your inner knee. He begins tying the laces, taking his time to savor the closeness. By the time he’s finished, you’re glowering darkly.
“Up,” you demand, switching places.
Jimin shouldn’t be turned on by how easily you walk in skates, nor by the bossy edge to your voice as you kneel.
“Is this what you wanted?” you ask, your gaze burning. Placing both hands on his knees, you lean forward. “To tease me?”
“Tease you?” Jimin looks you up and down. “Right now, I feel like the victim here.”
Pushing yourself to stand, you nudge him with your foot. “You can put on your own skates, Park. Last I checked, you got paid to do this for a living.”
“Usually, they pay me to play in the skates. Not just look pretty.”
Your lips tilt. “Are you calling yourself pretty?”
Wordless, Jimin tosses his hair as he stands from the bench. Eyes wide, you realize your gaze drops to his skates, already tied. Leaning in, Jimin brushes your arm with his palm.
“That depends,” he says lowly. “What do you think?”
Your gaze focuses on him. “Your looks haven’t changed that much since September, Park.”
His eyes darken. “Stop calling me that.”
“What – Park?”
Brows lowered, Jimin steps closer. “You sound like you’re about to scold me.”
You snort. “Scold you? Who do you think I am?”
“Stop changing the subject.”
“What even is the subject?”
“What about my looks has changed since September?”
You pause to survey him. “You… well. Your hair,” you admit.
Uncertain, Jimin reaches up to touch it. “My hair?”
“Yeah.” You nod, transfixed by his fingers. “It’s longer. It–” Cutting yourself off, your lips press together. “It looks nice, that’s all.”
Jimin hovers a second, wishing you’d continue but the moment is interrupted by your names being called. Turning his head, he spots Jisoo and Hoseok stepping onto the ice. Hoseok has both of Ari’s hands, while Jisoo has Hana.
Heart dropping, Jimin pieces two and two together. When you arrived on Thursday, the oddest expression crossed over your face at the twins. And later, while making cookies, you often were silent. Jimin chalked this up to the strangeness of your arrangement, but only now realizes the full implication. Ari and Hana must remind you of the false pregnancy, and the events which came after.
On instinct, Jimin takes your hand again. You glance down, surprised, but Jimin is already walking, pulling you with.
Although you stumble a little, you follow. “How do you walk in these things every day?” you demand, gesturing vaguely.
“We usually wear them on ice, not the sidewalk.”
“Hilarious.”
Arriving at the rink, Jimin removes his skate guards and holds out a hand. Handing them off to his mom, Jimin opens the gate to step onto the ice.
For a moment, the world fades. This is the reason he plummeted when he wasn’t sure if he could skate again. This feeling, this rush of freedom – Jimin has felt it on the ice ever since he can remember. Your hand is grounding, keeping him steady through the inner turmoil. Taking a deep breath, Jimin pushes off on one skate to bring you with.
Across the rink, Hoseok and Jisoo lead their daughters around. Seeing them, Jimin can’t help but smile. Jisoo was raised on the rink and can skate circles around most of their friend group.
“They’re so cute,” you sigh, following his gaze.
“Who? Jisoo and Hoseok?”
“I mean, sure,” you laugh, eyes crinkling. “But I was talking about Hana and Ari. No matter what your dad says, Hana is definitely going pro.”
Jimin sees a moment of realization cross your face. A few months ago, the idea of his dad disapproving would have crippled him. Now, Jimin feels sad, but he knows he’ll get through it.
Tightening his grip, he moves closer. “Want to know a secret?” Jimin says, skating backwards to face you. Both your hands end in his, letting him pull you.
“Obviously.”
Jimin grins, spinning you in a circle. “I got her lessons for Christmas with my old teacher. Just for fun, but I think she’ll enjoy it.”
“She absolutely will,” you say, smiling so wide, Jimin’s heart hurts. “Speaking of…”
Turning his head, Jimin spots Hoseok skate past with Ari. They wave as they go, Ari’s scarf flapping in the wind.
“So slow!” Hoseok calls, as Ari laughs. “Seems like that NHL thing really was a fluke, Park…”
Jimin’s brows lower, enough that you laugh and let go of his hand. “Go on,” you tease, skating backwards. “Catch up to them.”
His gaze lingers on you as you leave, watching you glide across the rink with ease. Turning around, you weave between patrons as the ends of your scarf flutter behind you. Jimin remembers the first time he brought you home for the holidays. Until then, you’d given him nothing but a hard time with his hockey fame. Pretending not to know the rules, the players or even the sport – although he often caught you Googling what certain terms meant.
The first time you came home, Jimin’s parents were the ones who suggested ice skating. Jimin was hesitant, thinking you didn’t know how, but once you stepped onto the rink, his jaw dropped. Although you aren’t a professional, you took lessons as a kid and somehow maintained your graceful ease. Somewhat embarrassingly, that was the morning he caved and broke his no-sex-in-the-childhood-home rule.
Body tightening, Jimin locks in on you as you skate away. Similar to seeing you wearing a new cosplay, watching you skate circles is enough to draw blood to a very specific part of his body. Pushing off with one foot, Jimin starts slowly around the edge of the rink. Several heads turn, but he ignores them entirely. Glancing over your shoulder, you notice him watching and laugh, purposefully crouching to gain momentum.
Lips twitching, Jimin adopts a similar stance and goes faster. He barely outpaces his slowest round at practice, but that’s fine. To everyone else, Jimin is practically flying. As one of the shortest players in the NHL, Jimin makes up for what he lacks in stride with his speed. Offensive positions require agility, something which happens to be his main strength. Wind cuts his face as Jimin makes a turn that would send lesser skaters sprawling.
Leisurely, he approaches you from the opposite side. Glancing over your shoulder, you frown, losing visibility.
“Gotcha,” Jimin says, grabbing around your waist to speak in your ear.
You yelp, twisting around to avoid tangling skates. “No fair,” you laugh, still in his arms. “You’re a professional. You cheated!”
“Which one is it, princess?” he teases, prompting a startled breath.
Licking your lower lip, you glance sideways and Jimin feels his body lock. Continuing to skate with his arms wrapped around you, he can barely decipher his train of thought. You face forward quickly, but not fast enough – Jimin knows that look. Your pupils are dilated, eyes wide with lips slightly parted. That look connects with his lower half in a way that makes skating distinctly uncomfortable.
“You can’t call me that,” you say under your breath.
Despite this, your hand tightens in his, not letting him go.
Jimin leans closer. “Call you what?”
“Any name other than the one chosen at birth.”
“Oh, I see. So, if I say Y/N.” Jimin dips his tone. “That’s fine?”
He feels your shiver, sliding his thumb along the side of your palm, and–
“Y/N!”
You start, jerking upright when Hana skates by holding onto Jisoo. Jimin falls behind you, somewhat embarrassed he let things go so far. As much as he wants to call you princess and get you to admit that you want him – he wants more than simply desire. Something like that happening would only muddy the waters.
Ari skates past as well, begging you to join, which you do with a dutiful nod. Jimin watches you go, skating to the edge of the rink and stepping outside. Pulling on guards, he clomps towards the hot chocolate stand to buy you a cup. While he waits, a familiar hat sidles up alongside him.
“Hi, mom,” he says, smiling downward.
Jimin’s mom wraps an arm around his waist and squeezes. A lump forms in Jimin’s throat, one he manages to swallow. The past year has been hard, forcing tough conversations to be held over the phone. Worse than losing his health, Jimin felt that he lost the support of his family.
“You two looked good out there,” his mom says, moving up in line.
Jimin lifts a brow. His mom never says something she doesn’t mean – a fact that he envies. Bringing your relationship up means she has something to say.
“Thanks,” he says, waiting for the rest.
“I hope we didn’t make you or Y/N uncomfortable last night. You know the last thing your father and I want is to pressure you.”
Shaking his head, Jimin moves forward. “You didn’t – don’t worry.”
“Mm.” Her lips thin. “What were you doing, going out late with Hoseok?”
Jimin’s eyes widen. Shit. Exactly like his mom, to lead with something soft, then go for the kill. A hockey strategy Jimin has employed often, with great success.
“We… I, uh…”
His mom pats him on the arm. “Every couple has their difficulties, Jimin. I’m not going to pretend every obstacle is surmountable – only you can decide that – but running away will solve nothing.”
Stunned by her accuracy, Jimin shakes his head. “I thought she wanted space,” he admits. This much, at least, is true.
“Space is good,” she agrees. “But only when asked for.”
The couple before them in line finishes paying and leaves. Somewhat dazed, Jimin moves up and orders three hot chocolates. Stepping aside to wait, Jimin turns to face his mom.
“That’s good advice,” he says slowly.
“I know.” She smiles. “That wasn’t what I wanted to talk about, though.”
Jimin lifts a brow. “No? Could’ve fooled me.”
She laughs. “No,” she admits, linking arms. “I wanted to check in on you, dear. You’ve seemed a little… well, off lately. It’s been a while since we last talked.”
Jimin can hear her concern, the utmost care she’s taking in having this conversation. His heart aches, knowing she must have rehearsed this talk often. Truthfully, Jimin didn’t mean to pull away from his family. It became almost second nature to avoid having an argument.
“Well,” Jimin says. “This season has been tough. I wasn’t sure how it’d be… being back on the ice. And I didn’t think you or dad would want to hear about that.”
Gripping his elbow, his mom turns him to face her. Her gaze has turned serious, an indent between her brows. “Jimin. I always want to hear about your day. Okay?”
He blinks several times.
“I’m sorry,” she exhales. “I know I wasn’t… I was scared, seeing you so badly injured last year.”
Jimin presses his lips together. “I know.”
“But,” she adds, fierce light to her gaze. “That’s not an excuse for making you feel this way. Your career will always scare us, Jimin.” She holds up a hand at the look on his face. “No, I want to be truthful. Your career will always scare us, but darling, I’ve watched you skate since you were three years old. I see your face on the ice. I’m sorry for asking you to give that up. It was selfish.”
Something rent apart mends in his chest. Before Jimin can respond, three hot chocolates are placed on the counter. Smiling, his mom accepts one and hands him the rest.
“Don’t feel like you have to say anything back,” she chides, guiding him towards the rink. “I only wanted to make sure you knew.”
“No – no.” Jimin shakes his head. “I’m trying more often to express how I feel. Mom… the way you and dad acted hurt me. For a while, it felt like everyone in the world was against me, and I didn’t know how to convince them. Or myself.”
His mom blinks several times. “I understand that,” she says quietly. “And I’m sorry, dear. I’m here for you, whatever you decide – I promise.”
“And dad?”
Lips twisting, she glances across the rink, where his dad sits on a bench. Not skating, simply watching Hana and Ari be towed around. Seeing this, Jimin understands what she means. His dad still has a long way to go.
“It’s okay, mom,” he murmurs.
She frowns. “No, it’s not. But he’ll come around, Jimin – I know it.”
“Yeah.” Releasing his breath, Jimin looks across the rink and catches your eye.
You grin widely, hand in hand with Ari as Jimin smiles. Something Dr. Nygard once said comes to mind. He told Jimin it was normal to want the attention of others, but it wasn’t healthy to shape one’s entire reality from it. For a long time, Jimin only believed he was good if other people said so. Only thought he could want something when other people agreed.
The moment you asked if you could take a break, all Jimin heard was you didn’t want him. Rather than stay and fight for what he believed in, he left and now, it’s up to him to convince you things are different. Being without you cast things in perspective. No – Jimin doesn’t need your approval to live the life he wants.
But the life he wants to live has you in it.
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“I can’t believe you didn’t bring pain meds this weekend,” you huff, digging around in the endless void you call a purse.
Sheepish, Jimin shrugs. “My tailbone felt better. And then, I don’t know… sitting for hours on a flight didn’t help.”
Stunned, you glance upward. “You’ve been hurt since the flight, Jimin?” you ask, failing to keep your anger in check. “Why are you only telling me now?”
Amused, he crosses both arms. “Y/N,” Jimin tsks. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d think that you cared.”
Simultaneously annoyed and aroused, your gaze darts towards your purse. Yanking free a bottle of ibuprofen, you shake out two pills. “Here,” you insist, thrusting them forward. “Take these and be quiet.”
Partly, your dismay stems from this being your fault. Jimin mentioned he was injured outside the house, but you were too mad to hear and made him sleep on the couch. And now, you’ll be the reason for Chicago’s losing streak. You can already hear the disparaging Twitter comments.
“Be quiet.” Jimin accepts the pills to throw them back, dry. “Thanks, Y/N.”
You stare, horrified. “That’s disgusting.”
“You get used to it.”
“Nope,” you say as you turn away. “I don’t think I would.”
Jimin chuckles from behind, catching up when you push open the door to the shop. Once everyone had their fill of ice-skating, you went with Jimin’s family to a lovely place for lunch. Afterwards, everyone broke into pairs for late Christmas shopping. It seems everyone is missing one gift or another, resulting in a need for covert alliances. Jisoo went off with her mom, while Hoseok went off with their dad and the twins.
The fact that you ended up alone with Jimin hasn’t escaped you. Briefly, you wondered if Jimin’s mom was behind this to give you some privacy but banished the notion. If this were the case, she likely would have just said so. The thought makes your face heat as you enter the shop.
Things today have been… different when it comes to Jimin. First, there was his apology in the car and then, the whole skate-tying incident. Merely the memory makes you shiver, recalling the feel of his hand on your ankle. Not to mention his cryptic phrasing, insisting he should have stayed – last night. Or possibly more.
Frustrated, you glance around the stationary shop. For once, you wish Jimin would just say what he means. Then again, you suppose two can play at that game. You weren’t exactly honest when you asked for a break.
Covertly, you glance sideways and find Jimin’s cheeks reddened. Infuriatingly, he looks even better than the day before. Darkly, you wonder if he sold his soul to a witch or is involved in some sort of Dorian Gray situation.
Turning around, Jimin catches you staring. “What are you thinking?” he asks, moving closer.
Rather than fan his ego, you ask something that’s been bothering you the past hour. “I saw you talking to your mom at the hot chocolate stand. What was that about?”
Jimin stiffens slightly, and you stifle a sigh.
Six months prior, Jimin would have brushed aside the question. In the spring, when his arguments with his dad were at their worst, you tried to distract him, but nothing succeeded. Jimin didn’t want to talk about anything, but in every conversation, his mind was elsewhere. You shouldn’t be surprised this is still true but somehow, you hoped.
“Hockey,” Jimin answers, and your face jerks up. “My mom said she was always going to worry about me playing, but she apologized for asking me to give it up. I think…” He pauses. “She may have been giving me her blessing to re-sign? Not that I need it,” he adds, a bit thoughtful.
“Jimin,” you gasp. “That’s amazing!”
“I know, right?” He smiles. “There’s still my dad, but it means so much to me that she said that. And… I mean, I can’t wait around for them to approve of everything, can I? I need to do what’s best for myself.”
Slowly, you nod. “You do.”
He meets your gaze. “I wanted to thank you, actually.”
“Thank me?”
“Yeah. You told me that, and I didn’t agree. I just… I wasn’t ready to hear it. In a way, when you left, it forced me to examine some hard truths about myself.”
Again, your heart sinks. You’re glad Jimin has his therapist and they’re helping to change his outlook. On the other hand, it sounds as though your leaving was an uptick in his life.
“Ah,” you say faintly. “I see.”
Jimin cocks his head. “When you said you wanted a break, all I heard was that the last person to believe in me no longer did. I know that’s not fair,” he adds, seeing your face. “But that’s how I felt. It was easier to fall, to hit rock bottom… than to pull myself out.”
You consider this – and him – for a long moment. In September, you really weren’t in a position to listen. The rapid elation and depression of thinking you were pregnant, coupled with fear from a year of anxiety, resulted in a potentially harmful reaction. Jimin deserved more than what you gave.
“I shouldn’t have come to you like that,” you say quietly. “It wasn’t fair of me to just… spring that on you without explanation. I should have asked you to talk. I’m sorry.”
“I don’t blame you, thinking I wouldn’t listen.”
“Maybe,” you say. “If I could go back though, I’d do things differently.”
“Me, too.”
For a while, you stand there and let the words sink in. Frequently since the break-up, you imagined what it would be like to see Jimin again. You wondered if he’d be angry, whether he’d ignore you or cast blame for what happened. Rarely did you imagine he’d apologize, or that he’d taken steps to address what happened this fall.
And maybe that was another mistake you both made – assuming the other person couldn’t change or wouldn’t want to.
Then, another thought occurs that makes your heart sink. Jimin’s mom is fine with him extending his contract. The entire reason you came here was to lessen the difficulty of two pieces of bad news at once. With one in the open, it’s not necessary to continue the charade.
For a moment, you debate whether to say something and instead, you turn smoothly and pluck a card from the pile.
“Look at this one,” you say, holding it up to the light. “Do you think Ari would like it?”
Glancing at this, Jimin tilts his head. The card is covered in glitter, to the point where the pictures and words are rendered obsolete.
“I think it’s perfect,” he says with a laugh. “Look, there’s another glitter one for Hana.”
Selecting them both, you head for the cashier. Jimin diverts to check out a large stack of board games in the back for his uncle.
“You check out,” he says, waving you onward. “I’ll meet you at the register in a minute.”
“All right,” you say, turning away.
Bypassing the colorful pens near the register, you place both cards on the counter. “Can I have a bag?” you ask as they ring you up.
The cashier nods, setting to work and you drum your finger against the counter. Outside, it’s started snowing. You can’t help but smile since it never seems to stop snowing in Garland for long. Hopefully, everything will clear up for tomorrow’s Christmas Eve party. Jimin’s family never misses, barring illness or high water.
Behind you, the bells above the door chime.
“Y/N?” A familiar – deeply grating – makes you go stiff. “Is that you? Oh my gosh!”
Smile frozen, you slowly turn. Vivian Wu shuts the door with one hand, casually unwinding a red scarf from her neck. Her hair is luscious and sleek, billowing over her perfect pea coat. When she walks towards the register, you notice cashmere gloves and boots that seem untouched by the salt on the roads.
Continuing to force a smile, you nod. “Hi, Vivian,” you say. “Yep, it’s me. Y/N.”
Coming to a stop, Vivian tilts her head. As the daughter of the former mayor and a politician herself, she’s practically royalty in a small town like Garland. Vivian also happens to be Jimin’s ex-girlfriend, dating him for three years in high school before they broke up when he was drafted. A fact Vivian never really accepted.
Her smile turns simpering. “How nice to see you,” she says, her tone suggesting the opposite. “Are you visiting the Parks for the holidays?”
You nod, suddenly glad for the charade. “Jimin and I are only here for a few days, unfortunately. Are you attending the Christmas Eve party tomorrow?”
“Wouldn’t miss it. The Parks are such a wonderful family. It’s a shame you only get to see them once a year.”
Although your stomach twists, you remind yourself it’s not worth it. Vivian only acts this way because she’s not dating Jimin – but then again, neither are you. Your heart sinks, realizing you might be looking at your future. Vivian will be thrilled to discover you’re no longer together. You never learned why she disliked you, only that she’s the only other girl Jimin dated seriously.
Your very first visit, you were introduced to her at the Christmas Eve party. Jimin warned you his ex-girlfriend would be there but failed to mention how beautiful – and vindictive – she was. Apparently, the break-up was Jimin’s idea and Vivian loathed having a total loss of control.
That night ended in a harried fight between you and Jimin, becoming the first time he ever said he loved you. Remembering that night, you can’t help but smile – a gesture that widens when Vivian scowls.
“It’s a shame,” you sigh. “I’m sure they appreciate having you looking out for them, though.”
Vivian sniffs, unable to find the insult. “Of course. Anything for Jimin. Speaking of” – she leans in, her Chanel perfume tickling your nose – “I’ve been watching his games and haven’t seen you lately? Is everything okay?”
You instantly stiffen. Despite what you told Jimin, you genuinely hadn’t thought many people would notice. Of course, Vivian did.
“No,” you say sweetly. “Just busy with work.”
“That’s a shame,” she says, her voice implying that, if it were her, Vivian would make herself available, no matter the cost.
You can’t help but bristle, though the scenario is moot. Neither of you are dating Jimin, so there’s nothing to compare. Still, even when you were together, Jimin never expected you to attend every game. That was his job, not yours, he would joke all the time. Both of you were adults with careers.
Tossing her hair, Vivian nods at your hand. “And I’m surprised, Y/N – no ring? Jisoo and Hoseok got engaged after what, two years? And you’ve been dating Jimin for…?”
“Four years,” you say stiffly.
“That’s right.” Her frown deepens. “Four.”
Your tongue is in danger of bleeding from how hard you bite. Vivian’s words have little to do with you, and more to do with the circumstances, but you can’t help but feel frustrated. And hurt.
Smoothly, an arm slides around your waist. “There you are,” murmurs Jimin, pulling you close. He brushes a kiss to your hair, glancing at Vivian. “You can blame that on me, Viv,” he says easily. “Haven’t found the perfect ring yet. None big enough. Or expensive enough.”
Your lips twitch. “Exactly,” you sigh, laying a hand on his chest. “He keeps proposing and I keep saying, ‘nope, try again.’”
Jimin chuckles, nuzzling into your hair. Vivian glances between you, looking vaguely nauseated. You can’t say you blame her.
“How nice,” she mutters.
“Anyways.” Glancing around, Jimin grabs your bag from the counter. “We really should get going. It was nice seeing you, Vivian.”
“You, too,” she huffs, brushing past to the board games.
As soon as she’s gone, your smile drops. “Thanks,” you exhale, slipping out from his arm. “I… well, I wasn’t sure what to say to her.”
Jimin catches you around the wrist.
You hesitate a long moment, then turn. Two days ago, the rules of the game were clear. No kissing with tongue. Jimin sleeps on the couch. And no need to pretend when no one else is around.
Gaze drifting upwards, you find yourself unable to decipher his expression. Slowly, Jimin pulls you closer to casually fix the scarf around your neck.
“Let’s head home, okay?” he murmurs.
You nod, not trusting yourself to respond to him with words. Outside, on the street, Jimin comes to a stop. Exhaling briskly, he turns sideways to face you.
“I just…”
Dropping your wrist, Jimin shoves a hand through his hair.
“Jimin, it’s okay,” you say, stepping closer. “I don’t blame how she acted – really. Being on the other side, like this…” Lamely, you shrug. “I guess I understand how Vivian feels. That’s all.”
Jimin stares at you, wide-eyed. You think that must be it, and attempt to walk past, but he grabs your wrist again.
“Y/N,” he says sternly. “You are nothing like Vivian. Okay?”
You blink, glancing down at his hand. That’s twice in two minutes he’s touched you like this. Gaze snapping upward, you frown.
“Am I?” you demand. Stepping closer, you stand nearly nose-to-nose. “We’re both your exes, Jimin. I can’t imagine how much it would hurt to watch you parade someone else around town. God, just thinking about you with someone else drives me crazy. I’d be an asshole to future me, too.”
Dipping his head, Jimin inhales. “That’s not going to happen,” he murmurs into your ear. “I wouldn’t be worried about that, if I were you.”
“What does that –”
“Y/N! JIMIN!”
Adorable interruptions seem to be your curse this weekend. Tiny arms crush your knees as, looking down, you find Hana grinning.
Bending, you scoop her onto one hip. “What’s this?” you gasp when she hands you a bag. “Did you buy me a Christmas present all by yourself?”
“Mhm,” she says proudly. “We got you new gloves to wear when you watch Uncle Jimin play.”
Hoseok groans as he arrives. “Girls, that was supposed to be a secret. Remember? Y/N was going to unwrap the gloves on Christmas.”
Ari frowns, tugging on Hoseok’s coat. “But then the present would tell her, not us.”
You can’t help but laugh as Jisoo and her mom walk up behind you.
“What’d we miss?” Jisoo asks, taking Hana.
“Hoseok was explaining the concept of presents,” says Jimin.
“Oh, good. Any success?”
“No,” Hoseok grumbles.
Everyone laughs, and Jimin’s dad flips his keys. “Are we all set?” he asks. “I thought I’d make hot chocolate back at the house.”
“Yeahhh!” yell the twins, immediately taking off.
Snow starts to fall as you leave the town square. More holiday music plays on the drive, and you find yourself dutifully humming along. Despite what you said, there are several noticeable differences between you and Vivian. You might both be his exes, but Jimin only asked one of you home for Christmas.
And only one of you has the opportunity now to make things right.
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By Saturday evening, Jimin regrets asking Hoseok for help. He might mean well, but Jimin’s brother-in-law is the least covert person on the face of the planet. Indeed, he’s done more to detract from Jimin’s goal than to add to it. All day, he’s tried to create alone time for you and Jimin with mixed results.
At dinner, Hoseok leaves a chair open next to Jimin – only for Ari to claim it. Afterwards, the family gathers to watch a movie and once again, Hoseok tries to set him up on the sofa. Unfortunately, Hoseok miscounts, and Jisoo is forced to squish between Jimin and the armrest. Little romance can happen sandwiched between you and his sister.
That’s not to say no romance, though. Ever since the stationary store, you seem to have forgotten your rule about physical contact. While watching the Grinch, you curl into Jimin’s side, holding his hand under a mountain of blankets. Jimin strokes his thumb over the back of your hand, trying and failing not to let his mind wander.
He can’t stop thinking about you and Vivian, knowing the situation is his doing. When he broke up with Vivian, he did it over the phone and barely gave her answers to the questions she posed. He didn’t know how to admit that he wasn’t in love, so instead, he made excuses about distance and hockey. It’s no wonder Vivian hovers now, waiting for you to make any misstep.
The thought of you returning to an ex is enough to make Jimin go wild. His arm tenses on the sofa, despite knowing there’s no reason for him to be mad. Still, it’s all he can think about when the movie ends and you get ready for bed. Bringing his stuff down the hall, Jimin lets you use the bathroom within his room.
The door remains shut when he returns, so Jimin busies himself with making the couch comfortable. He’s debating adding a third pillow when the bathroom door opens, and you step outside.
Jimin nearly drops the holiday pillow he holds. Honestly, he should receive awards for his self-control this weekend. Once again, you’ve decided to clothe yourself – or not clothe yourself – in the skimpiest nightgown known to man. Pink lace skims your generous curves, something you seem oblivious of while crossing the room.
Jimin’s jaw clenches. “What time do you want to wake up tomorrow?”
Gaze skipping past him, you land on the sofa. “You’re not seriously planning on sleeping there?” you demand, folding your arms over your chest.
He forces himself not to stare at your delicious cleavage. “This feels like a trick question.”
“Jimin!” You throw up both hands. “You’re injured! I feel bad enough you had to take painkillers this morning.”
“Oh. Well, don’t feel bad,” Jimin says, bending for the pillow.
“Jimin!”
“What?” He half-laughs as he straightens. “There’s only one bed in this room, and my parents would know if you slept anywhere else. This is fine, Y/N.”
Chewing your lower lip, you glance down. “Unless…”
He waits. “Are you offering to sleep on the couch?”
Your gaze snaps upward. “No.”
A tinge of awareness spreads down his spine as Jimin slowly glances between you and the bed. “Are you…” Jimin hesitates, not wanting to break the fragile truce between you. “Are you offering to break rule number one?”
“Technically, you were the one who offered to sleep on the couch,” you point out. “All I said was we didn’t have to pretend while we were alone.”
“Y/N.”
“Alright, fine!” you huff. “I don’t want to sleep in the same bed. But I’m… retracting that rule, for the good of humanity. Only the bed part,” you warn, shifting your weight.
Seeing you slightly flustered wakes a sleeping beast in his chest. Jimin takes a step closer, realizing you’re not immune to his proximity.
“Are you sure?” he asks, coming to a stop. “I don’t want to take advantage of the situation. I can sleep on the couch, Y/N, and be fine. I promise.”
“Oh?” you scoff, turning around. “And have me be blamed for injuring the ‘best offensive player in the NHL?’ No thanks.”
Jimin stares at your retreating backside. “Y/N Y/L/N,” he says, slowly following you towards the bed. “Have you been watching my games on TV?”
Your fingers freeze on the comforter. “I… I’ve seen a few,” you say, evasive as you pull back the sheets. Slipping beneath the covers, you pointedly avoid eye contact.
Unable to contain his grin, Jimin folds his arms. He doesn’t miss the way your gaze darts towards his biceps, lingering longer than is strictly necessary.
“How many?” Jimin demands, moving closer.
Gaze snapping upward, you scowl. “Enough to know you’re doing disgustingly well. And that every person with half a brain has a poster telling you so on the other side of the glass.”
Coming to a stop, his brows sketch upwards. “You’ve seen the posters?”
Jimin has seen the posters but then again, he’s the one stepping onto the ice every night. Some of the content has been downright suggestive, which it seems you know from your perturbed expression. Jimin knows it isn’t healthy to savor your jealousy – on the other hand, he’ll take anything he can get when it comes to you. Jealousy implies there’s something to be jealous of.
“They’re creative,” you mutter. “I’ll give them that.”
Jimin’s grin widens. Crossing to the opposite side, he pulls back the covers. “I’ve kept track of you, too,” he admits as he joins you.
Startled, you turn over to face him. “You did?”
“Yeah.” Turning off the light, Jimin rolls sideways. “I liked your last outfit. Sundry Sydney?” he says with a snort. “The sticker was brilliant.”
“Some people thought it wasn’t slutty enough.”
“Sundry Sydney is more than a pleasure bot,” Jimin says, quoting you word for word. “She can do everything – or anything, as she later revises.”
You laugh, delighted. “You remember.”
“Of course.” Jimin softens. “I remember everything when it comes to you.”
In the moonlight, he watches your features change. Hesitance follows want in a way that makes his heart ache. Jimin did that. He put this space between you and, almost unthinking, he shifts closer.
“Sorry,” Jimin murmurs when his knee brushes your shin.
You blink. “It’s okay.”
Jimin is aware of each time you inhale, the rise and fall of your chest. The last time he slept next to you, he took it for granted. Now, he memorizes every single detail – your lashes on your cheeks, the weight of your body, the scent of your conditioner from across the pillow. If this is the last night Jimin can lie with you, he wants to remember.
Slowly, the sound of your breathing lulls his eyes shut.
Then next time they open, Jimin only feels heat. Warm, silken heat as he opens one eye and is immediately accosted by the sight of your bare shoulder. Stiffening, Jimin realizes his arm is draped over the curve of your waist. Your face nestles in his chest, fingers curled neatly into the fabric of his t-shirt.
Worse, your nightgown has ridden upward during the night, and Jimin can feel your bare thigh pressed to his. Exhaling softly, he tries to pull back. Under no circumstances can you wake and find him draped over you like the worst kind of leech. You let him sleep in the bed, not sleep with you, which is a crucial difference.
Unfortunately, his attempt at removing his arm only succeeds in rolling you closer. Jimin pauses, reevaluating as your curves press to his. When a mumbled sigh leaves your lips, he nearly gives up.
There’s only so much a person can be expected to ignore. Pressed to your soft skin, memories of past mornings come pouring back. If you were dating, Jimin would be figuring out ways to wake you up with his tongue. As it is, all he can do is close his eyes and pray for his hard-on to die.
“Jimin,” you mumble, pressing closer.
His eyes open. The movement brings your thighs flush together, and there’s no mistaking now, that was his name on your lips. Staring downward, Jimin wonders what you’re dreaming of, and whether or not he’s made an appearance.
Mumbling something, your eyes open. When your gazes connect, Jimin expects you to recoil, waits for the moment you realize where you are and withdraw.
Instead, you blink in a sleepy haze. Tentative, you move your hand higher and – Jimin holds his breath – lightly stroke your thumb down the center of his chest. Jimin hardly dares move as your gaze drops to his lips. Slowly – so, so slowly – you shift your hips forward and part your thighs.
Exhaling roughly, Jimin’s fingers find your thigh to drag over his waist. His hard cock fits snugly against your warm core.
“Oh,” you whimper.
Losing all sense of composure, Jimin tightens his grip and rolls his hips against you.
“Oh,” you moan, your head tipping back.
Dipping his chin, Jimin drags his nose up the heat of your throat. Open-mouthed, he ghosts over the place where your neck meets your collarbone. Panting, you roll your hips as his grip on you tightens. Each line of your body melts against his, driving him crazy.
Moving lower, Jimin brushes the silk hem of your nightgown. Your breath catches when his thumb slips beneath, drawing teasing circles against your inner thigh. One of your hands entwines in his hair, tugging in a way that makes him see red.
“Ah, fuck,” Jimin groans. Grasping your ass with both hands, he rolls on his back and brings you with.
Surprised, you land on top of him. “Jimin – oh,” you breathe when he thrusts upward, pressing his cock against your underwear.
Gaze somewhat hazy, you push yourself upright. Jimin moans at the sight of your thighs spilled to either side, your delicious breasts barely contained by the silk. Not looking away, keeping your hands on his chest, you slowly begin to move your hips. Jimin’s hands slide up to frame your waist, helping you get yourself off on his cock.
It won’t take long, he realizes with some shock. Whatever dream you had got you halfway, based on the way your thighs tremble above him. Lips parting, you moan his name and rock your hips faster. Gripping you tightly, Jimin thrusts upward. His fingers slip down your thighs, edging towards your center, when –
The doorbell rings downstairs.
Instantly, you freeze, your chest rising and falling. Jimin opens his mouth, but before he can utter a single word, you swing your leg off him.
“I – sorry,” you blurt, scooting to stand. “That… shouldn’t have happened.”
Jimin’s mouth shuts. No, probably not, but he also can’t bring himself to regret what just happened. Unlike you, it seems.
“I’m… just going to change,” you rush, practically fleeing into his bathroom. The door slams shut behind you, leaving Jimin alone in the bed.
Wearily, he collapses. “Fuck,” he mutters.
The shower turns on, and his imagination runs wild, replaying the past five minutes. Groaning, Jimin rolls over to stiffly stand. Yanking a sweater and jeans from his closet, he heads for the other bathroom to take care of himself. It barely takes a minute before he comes against the shower wall, chest heaving to stare at the water droplets.
With a clear head, Jimin can feel the full weight of dread in his chest. He moved too fast. Even with you instigating, Jimin shouldn’t have pushed things as far as they went. If he knows you at all – and Jimin thinks that he does – you’re probably freaking out in a separate shower. He needs to assure you as soon as possible that he wants this. Well, he wants you. Not just the physical parts.
Exhaling deeply, Jimin finishes showering and turns off the spray. Toweling himself dry, Jimin dresses as fast as he can to head downstairs. He’s nearly at the kitchen when a hand grasps his elbow, yanking him sideways and shoving him in the front closet.
Stumbling slightly, Jimin turns around and finds himself face-first with Hoseok. Flicking the light switch, Hoseok shuts the door and exhales.
Jimin looks past him. “What are you doing?” he asks, faintly alarmed. “Is everything okay?”
Shaking his head, Hoseok folds his arms across his chest. “No – definitely not. Your dad knows, man.”
“Knows what?”
“He knows,” Hoseok says with a pointed look. “He knows you’re planning to extend your hockey contract.”
Jimin’s heart sinks to the floor.
Coming to his senses, he shakes his head. “How?” Jimin demands. “How does my dad know?”
“Not sure.” Hoseok’s lips twist. “I think he went into town this morning, and some of his buddies told him. Apparently, news of the extension leaked online.”
Jimin is utterly still, already coming up with choice words for his agent. He knew this could happen, despite his request to keep this quiet. Sometimes teams leak the news to increase the pressure on players. Other times, another team in the league does it to spur a trade. Jimin hoped he’d have until the new year but apparently, the choice has been made for him.
“Well, fuck,” he mutters.
Hoseok just nods. “Yeah. I heard your mom and dad talking about it when I came downstairs.”
Jimin pauses, glancing at the door. “Have you just… been waiting out in the hall for me?”
“Yeah. I kept pretending to forget things in our room. Jisoo may or may not have caught on.”
“Great.” Jimin decides to push past this. “Did he… I mean, how did my dad seem?”
Hoseok frowns. “Quiet. I don’t know. He went into his office and didn’t come out until your mom started breakfast.”
Shit. Running a hand through his hair, Jimin exhales. “Alright,” he says. “Well, I guess there’s no point in putting things off.”
“Probably not.”
Nodding, Jimin turns to pull open the door and Hoseok’s hand lands on his shoulder. “Yeah?” Jimin asks, turning around.
“Just letting you know that I’m here for you,” Hoseok says, stepping into the hall. “I may be married to your sister, but that doesn’t mean I don’t care about you.”
“Thanks, Hobi,” Jimin says quietly.
Squaring his shoulders, he follows him down the hall and into the kitchen. All voices cease. His mom’s spatula clatters against the bowl, and Jisoo falls silent at the kitchen table. Even you turn to face him, a mug of coffee in hand.
Jimin moves forward. “Hey,” he says tentatively. “Good morning.”
“Morning, Jimin!” says his mom, shooting a look at his dad.
Jimin’s dad pushes himself up from the table. “Jimin, can we talk?” he asks, gesturing towards the door. Based on his tone, this isn’t so much a request as a statement.
Although his stomach twists, Jimin manages a nod. “Sure, dad.”
He leaves the room, not looking behind to see if Jimin follows. Taking a deep breath, Jimin follows. When he nears the door, he feels a hand on his elbow. Gripping him tightly, you turn Jimin to face you.
“Hey,” you murmur. “Whatever your dad says – I’m here, okay? I believe in you, Jimin. No matter what.”
There’s steel to your voice, making him believe every word. No hint of weirdness from this morning remains, unraveling an unknown knot in his chest.
“Thank you,” Jimin rasps, gaining the strength to follow his dad.
The door to his dad’s study is as familiar as Jimin’s childhood, known as the only place off-limits to play in. Entering now, Jimin shuts the door and turns around.
His dad sits on the edge of his desk, hands clasped, and face lined. Jimin steps closer, about to plead his case but his dad holds up a hand.
“I think it’s best if I spoke first,” he says quietly.
Jimin stops, then nods.
Exhaling lowly, his dad drags a hand down his face. For the first time, Jimin notices moisture in the corners of his eyes when he looks up. “I heard this morning your contract is up for extension.”
Jimin decides honesty is best. “It is, yeah.”
His dad swallows, and then nods. “When my friends told me… I told them they must be mistaken. I said you would’ve said if that was true, and then they showed me the article…” Steadying himself, his dad continues. “I spent a lot of time this morning thinking about this past year.”
“Oh?” Jimin finds his voice. “What, specifically?”
His dad’s expression shifts. “Jimin, I’m sorry. I never… I never wanted to create a relationship where you couldn’t tell me things. Of course, I don’t want you to get hurt on the ice” – his voice strengthens – “but I know you. I know my son, and you don’t start things you don’t finish. You worked hard this past year to prove everyone wrong – to prove me wrong, and I couldn’t be prouder.”
His voice breaks slightly and, hearing this, Jimin rushes forward. Pulling his dad into a tight hug, Jimin lets out a sigh that sounds more like a sob. They stay there like that, their first hug in nearly a year as Jimin slowly exhales.
For so long, he’s wanted to hear those words from his dad. They feel good, but oddly enough, it feels even better to know he didn’t need this. Jimin has worked hard this fall to divorce self-approval from others. It will always take effort to maintain, but progress has been made, and that makes Jimin happier than anything else.
Pulling back, Jimin’s dad smiles. “We can go back now,” he laughs. “I know your mother made waffles. I just wanted you to know how proud I am of you. And you can talk to me about the contract if you want. There’s no need to keep things from us any longer.”
“Thanks, dad,” Jimin says.
His dad nods once, pulling open the door to gesture at the hall. As Jimin follows him out, you’re the first person he thinks of. Your face, saying you’d support him no matter what. This morning when you sighed his name into his t-shirt. Jimin recalls all the seconds, minutes, days he wanted you by his side this fall and knows he needs to tell you what he wants.
Even if you break his heart, Jimin needs you to know that it’s yours.
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Something has changed since this morning.
Well, obviously something has changed. You woke up with your body flush against Jimin, one of your thighs flung over his delicious ass. You nearly came just from dry humping him, already close from the dirty dream you were having – about Jimin, no less. Something has changed though, and that something is you – because you’re no longer concerned about what might happen. About what hurt might befall you if you confess and it fails.
You want Jimin. You love Jimin, you never stopped, and you need him to know that. You just have to figure out how.
That’s proving to be the hard part. Jimin returned with his dad at breakfast, looking relaxed for the first time all trip, and his mom immediately suggested wrapping the gifts. You helped the twins wrap all morning, glitter getting everywhere, and once lunch ended, you needed to get ready for the Christmas Eve party.
Trying to cut down on time, you got ready down the hall – which proved to be a mistake, since it meant you didn’t see Jimin until going downstairs. He went all out this year, and part of you wonders if he did it on purpose. His hair has been slicked, styled away from his face in a wholly devastating manner. He’s wearing a taupe suit he once wore for an interview, a dark turtleneck beneath hugging his pecs in a way that’s distracting.
You only drove two cars tonight, and somehow you ended up in a van with Jimin and his parents. Not that you mind their company – you love Jimin’s parents, but his outfit is rated NC-17. For twenty minutes, you’re forced to sit next to Jimin and not say how good he looks in that suit.
Even at the party, your attention is immediately monopolized by neighbors and friends. Forcing a smile, you nod at the appropriate times in conversation, but your attention is elsewhere. It’s not anyone’s fault, but they just can’t compete with your ex-boyfriend. Slash pretend boyfriend. Slash man you want to be your boyfriend.
An hour into the party, you excuse yourself for the bathroom, shutting yourself in a stall to lower the lid and sit down. From there, you pull out your phone and scroll through the texts.
Namjoon: you did WHAT?! [7:14 PM]
Yoongi: they dry humped, Namjoon [7:16 PM]
Namjoon: Yes, I ‘m aware – my exclamation was one of shock, not confusion [7:17 PM]
Namjoon: what does this mean?? [7:17 PM]
Yoongi: Isn’t it obvious? They’re getting back together. Why else would she fly halfway across the country for Christmas? [7:18 PM]
Scowling darkly, you text them both back.
Y/N: excuse me, I never said anything about getting back together [7:21 PM]
Namjoon: you didn’t need to – Yoongi is right, Y/N [7:21 PM]
Yoongi: per usual [7:22 PM]
Namjoon: you said when you left that you were scared to get hurt because you still had feelings for him [7:22 PM]
Namjoon: well, this is you, having feelings [7:22 PM]
Namjoon: and possibly getting hurt [7:22 PM]
Your scowl only deepens.
Y/N: I’m not going to get hurt [7:23 PM]
Yoongi: … has he said anything about getting back together? [7:23 PM]
You stare at the screen several moments before you respond.
Y/N: no… not exactly [7:24 PM]
Yoongi’s ellipses blink, then disappear and are replaced by Namjoon.
Namjoon: look – no one is saying he won’t ask you, okay? Just… maybe you should talk before dry humping him again. Make sure you’re both on the same page about what this all means [7:25 PM]
Yoongi: what Joon said [7:25 PM]
Yoongi: also – where are you? Hasn’t Jimin noticed you’re glued to your phone? [7:25 PM]
Y/N: no. I’m texting you from the bathroom, smartass [7:26 PM]
Namjoon: go back out there and have fun [7:27 PM]
Y/N: consider it done [7:27 PM]
Returning your phone to your purse, you use the bathroom and freshen up. Once you return to the party, you take a deep breath and scan the crowd.
This year’s Christmas Eve party is at the local ski lodge. The main lobby has been decorated within an inch of its life, the focal point being a gargantuan Christmas tree. Glass windows at the back overlook the ski slopes, butter-yellow light disappearing to shadows.
A waiter walks by with a tray of champagne, and you snag a glass for something to do with your hands.
“Y/N!”
A familiar voice calls, but before you can turn, Jungkook wraps you into a hug. Jungkook Jeon is both Jimin’s childhood friend and his NHL faux rival. Being from the same town, the media love to compare them at every turn – something that’s become a fun rivalry. The last time you hung out, his hair was much longer. Tonight though, he’s wearing all black with a sharp undercut.
“How have you been?” Jungkook grins, pulling back. He’s careful not to mess up your hair or dress, for which you’re grateful.
“Good,” you say with a laugh. “What about you? I hear the Kraken are leading the division – you must be happy.”
Jungkook’s smile disappears. “Not the conference, though.”
You can’t help but laugh, knowing his perfectionism rivals only Jimin. “You’re too hard on yourself.”
“Someone’s got to be. And besides,” he adds, glancing over your shoulder. “It’s not like we have the best offensive player in the league,” Jungkook calls in a sing-songy voice.
A familiar arm wraps around your waist. “Did you two watch the same special, or something?” Jimin gripes, brushing his lips to your cheek. “There are so many good players, calling anyone ‘the best’ is kind of pointless.”
“I believe they totaled your points,” you say, much to Jungkook’s amusement.
“I leave you alone for five minutes,” Jimin sighs with a shake of his head. “And of course, Jungkook swoops in to steal you.”
“Can you blame me?” Jungkook winks, drinking from his champagne. “Look at Y/N! If he ever messes up, Y/N, give me a call,” he jokes, and you feel Jimin stiffen.
“That won’t be necessary,” you say, leaning your head on Jimin’s shoulder.
He relaxes ever so slightly, squeezing your waist with one hand. Jungkook grimaces at this, trading his nearly empty champagne glass for a full one.
“You two are annoyingly cute,” he says, but he grins. “Seriously, though, you’ve been putting in work, Jimin. It’s impressive.”
“Thanks.” Jimin nods, toasting his glass.
“Have you seen Tae and Seokjin?” Jungkook asks, standing on tiptoe. “I keep getting cornered by moms wanting me to date their daughters, and I could use some high ground.”
You can’t help but laugh as Jimin jerks his thumb. “Alcove off the balcony. Everyone is gathered there – I was just coming to get Y/N.”
“Perfect,” Jungkook says as he leaves. “I’ll meet you there.”
Once he’s gone, Jimin shakes his head. Taehyung and Seokjin are two of their closest high school friends. Seokjin is currently single, but Taehyung got married early this year. Unfortunately, you couldn’t attend their wedding, but the ceremony looked beautiful, and you sent a gift.
Setting down his champagne, Jimin grabs your hand and tugs you into a corner. Turning to face you, his cheeks flush slightly pink.
“Hey,” he murmurs, looking you up and down. “Have I said how beautiful you look tonight?”
Heat stirs in your belly. “Not yet, no.”
“Well, you do,” Jimin says, his gaze dark.
Admittedly, you were a bit unfair in packing this dress. Your original intention in buying it was to wear New Year’s Eve and post jealousy-inducing photos on Instagram. Instead, you’re wearing it here with Jimin on your arm. Silky and emerald, the dress clings like a second skin, dropping in the back to a point just above your ass. Slightly impractical, but you borrowed a coat from Jisoo.
Jimin’s fingers ghost over the silk. “You deserve to hear it again,” he murmurs, his voice husky. “You’re being kind of unfair to everyone else at this party.”
“How so?”
“Poor Jungkook will have to find someone else.”
Your upper lip twitches, stepping closer. “Is that what you’re worried about?” you coo, sliding a hand up his chest. “That I’ll take Jungkook up on his offer? Not interested,” you say, allowing your gaze to linger. “You, on the other hand – that suit is designed to ruin hearts.”
“Only hearts?”
“Mm.” Softly, your voice drops. “Why? Were you planning on ruining something else?”
“Only if you asked nicely.”
Your eyes widen, stunned and Jimin smiles. His hands grip your body, cedar and black pepper scent wrapping around you and doing its best to make you come undone.
“Come on.” Taking your hand, Jimin turns away. “Let’s go and say hi to my friends. Everyone was asking earlier where you were.”
Slightly dazed by his former implication, you nod and follow. Jimin leads you through the crowd, bypassing everyone who attempts small talk. By the time you reach the alcove, Jungkook is already seated.
“What happened to you two?” he asks, smushed between Taehyung and Seokjin on the couch. “Making out in a corner? Couples are the worst,” he mutters to Taehyung before realizing who he’s talking to. “Oh. Right. Never mind.”
Taehyung’s wife, Alya, laughs from her armchair. “No comment. We may have been making out in a corner earlier.”
A lone strand of hair falls over Taehyung’s forehead. “Guilty,” he says, raising his glass.
Seokjin pokes Jungkook in the side. “If you hate couples so much, why are you sitting here,” he groans. “This is a two-person sofa.”
“Exactly!” Jungkook says. “It’s weird for you and Taehyung to sit together, since he’s married. I’m actually saving you.”
Settling onto an armchair, Jimin pulls you down with him to sit on his lap. His arm snakes around your front, pulling you backwards to rest.
“Anyways.” Jimin looks around. “How is everyone?”
Hoseok and Jisoo appear from the hall. “Oh, thank god,” Jisoo says, sitting between you and Alya. “This area was a complete sausage fest the last time we swung by.”
“Hey!” Seokjin cries. “I offered you a drink.”
“You offered her your drink,” Hoseok says drily, sitting next to his wife. “Doesn’t count.”
Jisoo leans over her armrest. “Y/N,” she hisses. “Do you have a tampon? They didn’t fit in my purse, and of course, my body waited until now to announce we’re not pregnant.”
You stifle a laugh. “Yes, of course,” you say, handing her your purse. “Left inner pocket – go wild.”
“Thanks.” Flashing a smile, Jisoo stands from the chair and disappears down the hall.
Jimin holds you against him, his thumb lightly stroking the ridge of your hip. Your entire body melts, perception heightened at each point he touches.
“So.” Jungkook turns towards Taehyung. “What did you get Alya for Christmas, Tae? Aside from the wedding, obviously.”
Alya laughs and sips her champagne. “Go on, tell them.”
Taehyung turns red. “It’s embarrassing!”
“What is?” Jungkook asks, glancing between them.
“It’s not.” Alya shakes her head. “Taehyung was so excited about the gift he gave it to me early. This morning, he surprised me by having our wedding bands engraved. I wanted to do it last year, but it didn’t fit in our budget. Anyways, he borrowed my band to clean it and got it done! I didn’t suspect a thing!”
“That’s amazing,” you say. “I love that idea.”
“Thanks, Y/N.” Taehyung smiles.
“What about you, Jimin?” Seokjin jostles Jungkook to face him. “What did you get Y/N this year? What is it – four years?”
Jimin tenses slightly, so you jump in. “Oh, we decided not to do gifts this year,” you hasten. “There’s been a lot going on, and we –”
“I got Y/N a gift,” Jimin interrupts. “But it’s a secret until tomorrow.”
Surprised, you crane your head sideways to see him. “You got me a gift?”
He nods. “Yeah. Is that alright?”
“Mhm.” You shift in his lap. “I, um… actually got you something, too.”
Tightening his grip on your waist, Jimin keeps you still. “Oh?”
“You’ll just have to wait and see.”
You bought Jimin a gift months ago, and never returned it. When you were packing, you decided at the last minute to throw it inside – along with this dress and the skimpy night clothes.
“I want to know!” Seokjin blurts. “Just whisper it in my ear, Y/N. I won’t tell.”
You laugh, facing forward. “Sorry, Seokjin. That’s confidential. Mr. Kim” – you nod at Taehyung – “may not respect the sanctity of Santa Claus, but I’m not risking getting coal in my stocking.”
Softly, Jimin laughs, nuzzling your shoulder with his lips. It hasn’t escaped you that he stilled your hips to conceal his reaction to you on top. Something which distracts you more than it should.
“Get off,” Seokjin groans, pushing Jungkook upward. “I swear, you make this party worse every year.”
You grin, watching their antics as Jungkook walks off. Taller and heavier than Jimin, you know he only stood from the seat because he wanted to. Wandering to a free armchair, Jungkook flops down.
“Where’s your Christmas spirit?” he asks, waving his glass of champagne. “I was just about to tell you the holidays aren’t so bad with you around.”
Alya and Hoseok both laugh, and Taehyung shakes his head. Conversation then devolves to the Seattle Kraken, and Jimin’s fingers dig into the silk at your waist.
“Did you mean that?” he murmurs, lips at your ear. “Did you actually get me a present? Because it’s fine if you didn’t. I sprung this trip on you, and we’re not – well, you know…”
“I know,” you say back. “But yes, I got you a gift. Actually.” You pause. “I bought it for you a while ago and held onto it.”
“Ah.” Jimin pauses. Slipping his thumb beneath your chin, he turns you to face him. “Y/N. I just wanted to say –”
“Hey, Y/N, someone’s calling you,” announces Jisoo, walking into the room. Reaching into your purse, she pulls out your phone and frowns. “Who’s Mike?”
Your stomach drops through the floor.
Jimin’s body tenses beneath you, and you fight for a way out of the growing panic. Worse, everyone else seems to have heard, since all gazes lock on you. Struggling to breathe, you stand abruptly and snatch your phone.
“No one,” you blurt, grabbing your purse from a blinking Jisoo. “I mean, Mike’s a client. I should probably take this call outside.”
Before they can respond, you grab your phone and rush off. Brushing past Jisoo, you ignore her look of concern. Loudly, your heels click on the wooden floor. Whispers rise in your exit, but you ignore them, face burning as you turn your phone over in your hand.
Reaching the foyer, you stumble to a halt and glance overhead at the mistletoe. Purposefully side-stepping this, you see one missed call. In addition, there are several missed texts from Yoongi and Namjoon, but these you ignore.
Fingers trembling, you swipe open the text from Mike Davis.
Mike: hey, Y/N! I was doing laundry and found your Ventra card in my pocket. I think I grabbed yours by mistake. Want to meet up and exchange in the new year? [8:10 PM]
Mike: you know, I had a really great time meeting you the other night [8:13 PM]
You grip your phone tighter. He can’t be serious. The date ended so poorly, you were surprised the bartender didn’t film and put it on TikTok. Mike can’t actually want to hang out again. Orthink reaching out to you on Christmas Eve would be a good idea.
Brow lowered, your fingers punch the keyboard.
Y/N: Hey, Mike. You can keep the Ventra card, no worries [8:25 PM]
Deleting his number, you exhale in relief and turn around – only to run into Jimin, who stands right behind. Close enough to have seen every word on your phone.
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Jimin’s fists clench, having read both the texts. There’s no reason to be jealous, he reminds himself with zero success. You aren’t dating, so it’s perfectly reasonable for you to text another guy. The fact that this Mike guy hasn’t come up is none of Jimin’s concern. And yet.
“So.” Voice cold, Jimin tilts his head. “Mike is…?”
He pauses for you to complete the blank, knowing you won’t say just a client.
“He’s…” Shifting, you avoid eye contact. “Someone I know.”
“Please.”
Your expression shifts, meeting his gaze. “Well, what do you want me to say?” you demand, stepping closer. “Tell your friends a client called me. They’ll buy it, it’ll be fine.”
“It’s not fine,” Jimin growls. “And I could care less what my friends think.”
Bewildered, you stare. “I don’t understand. That’s literally the entire reason you asked me to come here this weekend. So you wouldn’t have to admit we broke up.”
Jimin’s heart flatlines. “Is that really what you think?” he demands, reaching out. Catching your wrist, he pulls you even closer. “You thought I was so terrified of explaining my contract to my family, I couldn’t possibly tell them we broke up, as well?”
Your brows furrow deeper. “That’s what you told me, so, yes. That’s what I thought.”
“Right. And is it serious?”
“Is what serious?”
“This guy – Mike. Are you two serious?”
Your jaw hangs open a second before it snaps shut. “Are we – no, Jimin,” you say, the words dripping with derision. “We’re not serious. You and I broke up only three months ago! Do you really think I managed to move on so quickly?”
“I don’t know,” Jimin admits, even as his head spins. “I didn’t–”
“I mean, god,” you exhale, ripping your hand from his grasp. “I go on one date, and somehow, I’m the bad guy. Never mind that you’re the one who wanted to break up,” you add, whirling around to jab him in the chest. “You” – a second prod – “were the one who asked to break up!”
Closing his hand around your finger, Jimin tugs you forward. “I know,” he says hoarsely. “I know I messed up, Y/N. I know I have no right to be jealous, but I am. I’m jealous, and I’m wrong, and I don’t even fucking care because I miss you, Y/N. I know you’re right here, but I miss you.”
Something in your gaze breaks. “I miss you, too, Jimin.”
“I know I didn’t fight hard enough to keep you back then. I should have, and I can’t say how much I regret it.” Sliding his hands up your arms, Jimin grips your elbows. “I don’t care if you went out with one guy or a hundred. I asked you to come here this weekend because I wanted you. I was too afraid to ask you outright, so I used my career as an excuse.”
“An… excuse?”
Gripping you tighter, Jimin exhales. “I mean, everyone knows. My parents know I’m extending my contract, and they’re fine with it. I still don’t want to tell them we broke up.”
“Well, sure.” Your gaze darts across him. “Because you don’t want to spoil Christmas – right?”
“That’s not why.”
“Then, why?”
Before he can lose his nerve, Jimin slides his arm around your waist and pulls you flush against him. You inhale when your chests touch, the silk of your dress rucking beneath his palm.
“I think you know the reason,” he rasps, his gaze finding your lips.
“All the same” – somehow, your fingers curl into hair at the base of his neck – “I’d like to hear you say it.”
Bending, Jimin’s lips skim your throat. “I told you I don’t care what my family thinks. I just want you, Y/N.”
Inhaling sharply, you turn your head. Your lips briefly touch, then you still.
Jimin hesitates, his brain short-circuiting before he connects. Springing into motion, he slides both palms to either side of your face and kisses you deeply. Walking you backwards, he only stops when your spine hits the wall. Reaching lower, Jimin grabs your wrists with one hand to yank overhead.
You stare upward, eyes lidded, as your chest rises and falls. Jimin nearly groans, sliding his knee between your legs to widen your stance.
“God, you’re perfect,” he breathes, crushing your mouth with his.
All he knows is your scent, wrapped around him. The feel of your mouth, the curves of your body arching against him. Jimin loses himself in the moment – in you – to the point where nothing else seems to matter.
Releasing your wrists, Jimin grasps the hem of your dress with one hand to drag it upward. Inch by inch, your bare thigh is revealed to his touch.
“Oh,” you gasp, your head hitting the wall.
Taking advantage, Jimin kisses roughly down your exposed neckline. Each time you inhale, it reminds him of your chest against him. Withdrawing, Jimin glances down and nearly curses. Whatever bra you have on does little to conceal your hardened nipples, easily visible through the silk of your dress.
“Mm.” Jimin exhales, running a thumb over the tip. “Can’t have you returning to the party like this, can I?”
Your thighs clench. “People definitelywouldn’t suspect we broke up.”
Again, Jimin circles your nipple, making you moan. “Sorry,” he murmurs. “Like I said, though – this isn’t about the people out there. This is about you. What do you want, Y/N?”
Jimin holds his breath as he waits for an answer. Really, this is what it comes down to.
Your grip on him tightens. “I want you to take me home right now, Jimin.”
“Fuck, yes,” he breathes.
Grasping you by the hand, Jimin tugs you into the hall. You giggle, stumbling as you fix the strap of your dress, and he can’t keep a stupid grin from spreading over his face.
“We’re leaving now,” Jimin says, bringing you towards the exit. “Otherwise, I’m going to drag you into the bathroom and fuck you like that.”
Your heels dig into the floorboards, and he turns to look at you, concerned.
“Oh.” You blink innocently. “I’m sorry, was that supposed to be a threat?”
Jimin goes still, consumed by images he’d rather not face. Visions of your panties pulled down, bent over his knees while he fingers your dripping pussy. Or your hands, curled around a doorframe while he lowers himself to drag his tongue up your slit. Or pressed against a wall, your panties pushed aside for him to –
“Alright – enough,” Jimin growls, grabbing your hand.
You laugh when he pulls you onward, bringing you to the lodge doors. Reaching the front, Jimin pauses long enough to hand the valet his ticket. While you visit the coat closet, he pulls you close and runs his nose down your throat.
“Do you have any idea how crazy you make me?” he murmurs, low in your ear. “Any idea just how many times I’ve jerked off in the shower this trip?”
“How sad,” you say, turning to face him. “Pray tell, what did you think about?”
Sliding his hand over the curve of your ass, Jimin presses you closer. “Lots of things,” he exhales. “Your pretty lips around my cock. Finger-fucking you slowly, making you take it. How wet you were beneath those ridiculous excuses for nightgowns.”
Your laugh is throaty. “I brought those specifically for you, you know.”
“Mission accomplished,” Jimin growls. Outside, he sees the valet arrive and releases your waist. “Now, let’s go.”
Slipping both arms into your coat, you follow Jimin outside to the car. He helps you in, shutting the door and traveling to the passenger side. Shoving a hand through his hair, he attempts to regain his composure. The two of you need to get home safely – that’s top priority.
Of course, by the time he sits down and glances over, all thoughts of safety fly out the window. You’ve left your coat unbuttoned, enough that he sees each sinful line of your body. Suddenly, his top priority is to get you home – now.
Shutting the door, Jimin puts the car in drive and pulls from the lodge. You exhale, somewhat breathless as you shift to face him.
“This is going to be fast,” you admit, a bit breathy. Jimin’s hands on the wheel tighten. “You said you’ve been jerking off in the shower? Well, I haven’t had any alone time. You’ve just been edging me for three days.”
“Don’t say edging,” Jimin groans. “I’m trying to concentrate on getting you home.”
“Oh?” Tilting your head, you lean closer. “Do you find that topic distracting?”
“Yes,” Jimin huffs, and then pauses. “Actually… I think you could use a little more distraction. Don’t you?”
He doesn’t miss the way your fingers still, your breath hitching beside him.
“Maybe,” you say.
Jimin glances in your direction. “Spread your legs.”
Without breaking eye contact, you spread your legs until the silk is stretched tautly over your thighs.
“Pull up your dress.”
Casually, you grip the hem to tug upward. Jimin tries not to look, watching the road, but the position is torturous. As soon as you come to a stop light, he turns.
Your thighs press against the edge of the seat, silken dress hitched over the top of your thighs. Jimin exhales, unable to see what he wants, but the shadows and skin are more than enticing.
“Touch yourself,” he instructs, and desire flares in your gaze.
Arching slightly, your hand inches lower to dip beneath your dress. Jimin keeps his eyes on you, watching and waiting for your reaction. When he hears the slip of your finger, your lips slowly part as your eyes fill with lust.
“Oh,” you exhale, and Jimin’s body tightens.
“That’s it,” he breathes, listening to your finger drag upward. “How wet are you, baby?”
“So wet,” you groan, eyelashes fluttering as you spread your legs further.
“No.” Jimin’s gaze drops to your hand. “Press your thighs together. Keep touching yourself.”
The light turns green, spurring him onward as the night changes. He watches you obey in the corner of one eye, legs pressed together with your hand trapped between them. Head hitting the headrest, your chest rises and falls with the motion of your fingers.
 “That’s it, baby,” Jimin murmurs, switching lanes to go faster. “You’re doing so well. I want you to come once for me before we get home. Okay?”
Your eyes open. “You want me to come?”
“Just once.” Jimin lowly chuckles. “I know you, baby. I know you can come at least twice more tonight.”
“Fuck,” you groan, your need evident.
The record number of orgasms Jimin has given you in one night is five, but that was only one time. Jimin thought it’d be fun to see how many times he could make you come with only his tongue. Five, it turned out – or rather, that was the point you frankly begged for his cock.
A few minutes away from home, Jimin relents. “Alright,” he exhales. “Spread your legs again.”
You instantly obey, thighs spread as you groan, your fingers slipping lower.
“Can you stretch yourself for me, baby?” Jimin murmurs, the words low and thick. “Keep that other hand on your clit, now.”
Adding another hand, you arch on the seat. Every ounce of blood in Jimin’s body rushes towards his cock, enough to make things painful as you near the house. You push a finger inside, releasing a moan that makes his grip tighten.
“That’s it,” Jimin exhales, driving as carefully as possible over the dirt road.
“Ah,” you gasp when he hits a bump, jolting your fingers deeper.
Jimin clenches the wheel. “You liked that?”
“Yeah,” you whisper, glancing at him, your expression almost shy.
Fuck. Jimin does his best to angle the car, creating more friction as you rub your clit. He does his best to remain facing forward but is distracted every so often by the sight of your hips moving against the seat.
Throwing out a hand, you grasp his lower arm. “Jimin,” you groan, your head hitting the headrest. “I’m so, so close.”
Pulling to a stop in the driveway, Jimin puts the car in park and throws off his seatbelt. Shoving open the door, he goes to the passenger side. Your eyes widen when he yanks open your door, unbuckling you and dragging your hips to the edge of your seat.
“Eyes on me,” Jimin directs, gripping the seat on either side. “Just keep touching yourself like a good girl, Y/N. I know that pussy is so pretty and wet. Can’t wait to lick it clean later. Can you spread yourself wider? Add another finger?”
Your thighs fall on either side of his waist, enough for Jimin to know you can feel how hard he is. The dress continues to cover your waist, and he doesn’t lift it higher. Doesn’t so much as touch you, just keeps his gaze trained on yours.
“I need your fingers,” you whimper, and Jimin feels you grip his wrist, guiding his hand in between your slick legs.
“Shit,” he exhales, feeling how wet you are.
The slick core of heat, your hips arching against him, breaks his last scruple. Keeping his gaze steady, Jimin slowly slides two fingers into your perfect cunt. Relief washes over your face, your lips parting as fresh arousal coats Jimin’s hand.
“God,” he murmurs, twisting his fingers to pull out. Slowly, he pushes back in and watches you hiccup. “You really did need my fingers, didn’t you, baby?”
“Yes,” you whimper, scrambling to sit straighter. Pulling him closer, your thighs widen. “I need you inside me.”
“In what way?” Jimin muses, stretching you as he pulls out.
“Want your cock, Jimin,” you groan, your chest heaving.
Pushing aside your coat, his free hand yanks down the strap of your dress, revealing what can barely be construed as a bra. The tiniest silk triangle barely covers your nipple in a flimsy excuse for support.
“You’ll get my cock,” Jimin promises. Lowering his head, he sucks your nipple – silk and all – between his lips. “Want to taste you first.”
“Jimin,” you moan.
“Patience.” Yanking your hips closer, he leans over you on the seat. Using this angle, he works his fingers deeper as your body tightens. “Like that, yeah?” Jimin murmurs, brushing your g-spot. “Want to come like this?”
“Please,” you whimper, spreading your thighs.
Jimin loses himself in the haze of your body, the tight slick of your heat while he finger-fucks you. Each thrust of his forearm has your breasts bouncing, your tiny scrap of a bra doing nothing to hide the movement.
“Once we get upstairs” – Jimin thrusts harder – “I want this dress on the floor. I want you dripping wet and naked, ass in the air so I can push my cock inside you.”
“Jimin!” you gasp, your entire body shuddering.
“And then,” he adds, low in your ear, “I want you to ride me. Need these tits in my mouth, your ass bouncing on my dick as you come again.”
You cry out, head thrown back as you come apart. Continuing to thrust his fingers, Jimin slows his movement as your breathing lengthens. Slumping against him, you hold tight with both arms.
As gentle as possible, Jimin slips his fingers from your body to fix your dress and coat. Shifting your weight from the seat to his arms, he shuts the door with his heel and starts to walk up the drive.
Stirring, you look around. “Oh,” you exhale, seeing the front porch. “Are we home already?”
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Jimin stops to stare at you in his arms. “Did you… think I just pulled aside on a random highway?” he asks, equal parts puzzled and amused.
Sheepish, you feel your face heat. “Maybe?”
“Fair enough.” Jimin chuckles and keeps moving. “You should know, though – I wouldn’t risk anyone else seeing you like that.” He pauses. “Unless you wanted them to.”
You squirm in his arms, somewhat embarrassed by how much you like the prospect. Seeing this, Jimin’s eyes gleam and he leans closer.
“Seems like you might want that,” he murmurs.
Unable to articulate, you nod and watch his lips curve.
“Noted.”
Reaching the front door, Jimin bends to set you down. Once inside, he strips from his coat and boots, turning around to face you.
God, just looking at him is enough to make you weak. He just gave one ridiculously satisfying orgasm – it should be too soon for another and yet, your traitorous body feels barely sated.
“Was I not clear?” Lifting a brow, Jimin walks closer. “I thought I said I wanted you naked.”
You lift your chin. “Wanting is different than getting.”
“Oh, I think you want that, too.”
Fuck. You absolutely do, but you know Jimin enjoys being teased, so you lift your chin in the air to walk past him. “Well?” you demand, placing one hand on the railing. “Are you coming?”
You let your coat drop to your elbows, stepping out of your heels to head upstairs. Jimin groans from behind, and you hear his footsteps follow.
Entering the bedroom, you drop your coat on the couch and turn. Jimin stands framed in the door, several buttons on his jacket already undone. He doesn’t come any closer, and you lift your thumbs to slip under the straps.
“Was this what you wanted?” you ask, innocently slipping them down your shoulders.
Jimin moves forward. Coming to a stop, he replaces your thumbs and casually tugs. The dress slips from your shoulders, catching on your chest, and he motions you to turn.
Obeying, you watch in the mirror as Jimin steps closer. He meets your gaze head-on, slipping a hand around your stomach to mold himself to you from behind. Finding your zipper with his other hand, he tugs down.
Both of you watch the dress fall, silk pooling at your feet to leave you naked. Well, mostly naked. A red, silk thong remains, along with your bra. Really, just two triangles of silk held up by thin straps. Your breasts spill around the materials, creating a tantalizing visual his gaze is locked on. Jimin fingers the clasp of your bra, then releases.
“Actually,” he says, his voice husky. “I want to play like this.”
Before you can fully digest his words, Jimin walks around and grasps your hand. Leading you to bed, he sets you down and urges you backwards.
“That’s it,” he murmurs, nudging your ankles apart. “Just like that.”
Releasing you, he takes a step back to run a hand through his hair. You stare upward, propped on your elbows, your chest rising and falling. Jimin stares like you’re something to be savored, then devoured. His gaze traces your body, starting at your ankles to work his way upward.
He takes in your spread legs, dripping pussy visible beneath the scrap of silk. By the time Jimin finds your breasts, your nipples are painfully hard, and he groans, reaching down to palm his cock. Your breath catches, seeing how hard he is in his pants.
“Jimin,” you moan, sliding one foot lower. “I want you.”
Lowering his knee to the bed, Jimin plants a hand on either side of your head. “Patience,” he murmurs, brushing his lips to yours.
You curl around him, fingers tangling in soft stands of his hair. His fully clothed body presses against you, nearly nude, and you shiver. The feel of his suit against skin is intoxicating. Jimin pulls back to nip your lower lip, grasping you by the waist to pin you fully.
Thrusting forward, he allows you to feel how badly he wants you. His achingly hard cock grinds against your center, and you arch beneath him.
“Jimin,” you pant, tightening your grip in his hair.
“Ah – fuck,” he groans, helplessly rutting between your spread thighs.
Your hands fumble, slipping beneath his suit jacket to cast this aside. Jimin sits up, helping you shed his dark turtleneck. Thrown to the ground, he lowers his mouth, eagerly flicking your chest with his tongue. You moan, hands fisting his hair to anchor him. Tugging the other silk cup down, Jimin switches to suck a hardened nipple.
“Get rid of it,” you pant, reaching underneath to unsnap your bra. Jimin grins, tossing your bra on top of his pile of clothes. Swiftly returning, he bends to lick and suck at your breasts.
Your hips roll beneath him, desperately searching for your release. Jimin knows how sensitive you are, knows you can come like this, but doesn’t seem inclined. Instead, he sits back and runs a hand through his hair.
You nearly come at the sight – Jimin, shirtless with mussed hair and reddened lips. Pushing yourself upward, you struggle to undo the first button of his pants.
Chuckling, Jimin replaces your hands with his. “I need these on,” he says, scooting backwards. “I need something to keep myself from coming.”
“But I want you to come,” you protest as Jimin lowers himself to his stomach.
“And I appreciate that.” Turning his head, his breath touches your knee. “But I’ve spent three months fantasizing about what to do if I ever got to touch you again. First things first.”
Lowering yourself to your elbows, your entire body throbs at the sight of Jimin between your thighs. He looks at you, reverent, before slowly dragging his thumb down your aching center.
“Oh,” you inhale, opening further.
Gaze dark, Jimin pulls the fabric of your panties aside. Your face burns, hearing your wetness, but all that dissolves at the first sweep of his tongue.
“Fu-ck, Jimin,” you groan, head tipping back.
He takes his time, working you open with long, tender strokes. No man has ever eaten you out so well, and you doubt anyone ever will again. As though driving this point home, Jimin switches from tender licks to sucking hard on your clit. You moan, helplessly splayed beneath his torture.
“Jimin,” you gasp, hands fisting in sheets.
Shifting closer, Jimin nudges one leg over his shoulders and grips your ass with both hands. Pulling you into his mouth, he devours, licking up and down in a way that’s obscene. A half-sob climbs in your throat, your back arching when he adds a finger.
“That’s it, Y/N,” Jimin pants, lifting his head. “Such a pretty pussy. Can you come for me, baby?”
“Y-yes,” you gasp.
Jimin lowers his mouth, adding a finger while slowly sucking your clit. Staring down your body at him, you feel your thighs tremble. Jimin’s shoulders flex while eating you out, his hips grinding into the sheets to get himself off. Imagining his cock pushing inside tips you over the edge, and you break apart. A wave of pleasure sweeps through you, seeing stars as Jimin curls his fingers.
Muscles limp, you collapse on the mattress. When your eyes open, your thigh is still flung over Jimin’s shoulder. Grinning, he pushes himself upward, taking your leg with him. Turning, Jimin presses a soft kiss to your calf.
“Fuck,” you groan, one arm flung over your face. “That was even better than I remember. And trust me, I’ve thought about that a lot.”
“Oh?” Jimin gently sets your leg down. “Do tell.”
You peek at him through your fingers. “Take off your pants.”
Jimin drops his hands to his belt. “Tell me” – he undoes the buckle – “in explicit detail” – he pulls the length through the straps – “what you thought about.” The belt is dropped on the floor.
Your tongue swipes your lower lip. “I thought about a lot of things.”
“Be specific.” Shoving his pants and briefs down, Jimin lingers at the point where his hips are exposed. “When you touched yourself, did you think of me?”
“Yes,” you whisper.
“Mm.” Jimin tilts his head. “What about when you used your toys?”
You whimper, spreading your thighs on his bed. “Yes.”
“And were they good enough? Did your pretty pink dildo stretch you as nicely?”
“No,” you whimper, watching him stand.
Still looking at you, Jimin pushes his slacks to the floor. Your heart pounds when his length is released, so hard it seems painful. The head of his cock glistens with pre-cum, the thick veins prominent. Wrapping a fist around himself, Jimin places one knee on the mattress.
“Take your panties off,” he rasps, and you hasten to obey.
Once they’re removed, you’re left naked before him. Gaze glinting, Jimin inclines his head. “Turn around. Lay on your stomach.”
Heat throbs between your legs as you do so, glancing over your shoulder. Jimin positions himself behind you, kneeling over your thighs with his cock in his fist.
“I’ve thought about this for so long,” he exhales, slipping two fingers into your pussy. Arching your back, you squirm to get closer. “When you come, I want to see you, but right now…”
You feel the head of cock nudging your thighs apart, getting wet with your slick. Leaning over, Jimin pulls open a drawer on his nightstand to retrieve a condom. Pulling this open, he rolls this onto himself and pushes between your thighs.
Each messy thrust rubs his cock against your clit, making you push your ass backwards. Jimin smacks your ass swiftly, then makes a low noise and rubs it.
“God, I missed you,” he exhales, pushing himself into your cunt.
You moan, burying your face in your arms to lift your ass higher. Jimin is thick, even more than you remember, and you feel your walls stretch with a pleasant burn. He pauses a few inches in to gently tug your hips upward.
Keeping your chest to the bed, he lifts you almost to your knees. Leaning forward, Jimin slips an arm underneath you to play with your clit. From behind, his hips slowly thrust in and out a few inches. Stretching you, yet barely sating the edge of your desire.
“Jimin,” you groan, turning your head to capture his mouth.
His fingers nudge your clit, tongue slipping past your lips as his cock gets even deeper. Each time he slowly thrusts and withdraws, you accept him a little more. Buried halfway, Jimin draws leisurely circles around your throbbing clit.
“More,” you moan, pushing back.
Jimin chuckles, retreating to grip your hips with both hands. He thrusts in slow, easy motions to work himself deeper. By the time he bottoms out, your hands are fisted in sheets.
“Fuck,” you exhale, thighs spread to accommodate him inside you.
Jimin stays there a moment, thumbs drifting over the shape of your ass. “Y/N,” he mutters. “You’re so goddamn perfect.”
Leisurely, he withdraws until only the head of his cock remains. Jimin thrusts forward slowly, making you feel every inch of him. Moaning, you bury your face in the sheets, and his hand comes down again.
“Louder,” Jimin demands, gripping your waist. “Don’t hide from me, baby. Want to hear you.”
Head thrown back, you pant as he sinks into you fully. All you do is take it, breathless and eager while he slowly fucks you. Casually, Jimin pushes your hips down so you lie flat on the bed. One foot on the mattress, he adjusts himself to push inside you like that.
“Oh,” you moan, toes curling.
Thighs pressed together, your clit rubs the sheets, making it messy and tight as he moves inside you. Gripping your ass with one hand, Jimin anchors himself to fuck you in slow, rolling movements. You arch underneath him, gaining friction but when you clench tighter, Jimin pulls out.
A strangled sound leaves your throat. “Excuse me,” you blurt, rolling sideways to face him. “I was enjoying that.”
“Oh, I know.” Jimin grins from the spot where he kneels. His cock is hard, glistening with evidence of your arousal. “But what I really want is to have you on my lap.”
A shiver runs down your spine. Turning over, you arch your back and watch Jimin’s eyes glaze. He reaches for you swiftly, helping you onto your knees. Seating himself against the headboard, Jimin arranges your body over his thighs.
Hovering above him, you grasp his shoulders. “Is this what you wanted?’
“Fuck, yes.” Jimin drinks in your body. His fingers swipe through your cunt, teasing as he bends to suck a hard nipple between his lips.
Spreading your ass with one hand, his fingers stroke up and down your aching pussy. Arching against him, you present your chest further as your grip on him tightens. Jimin slips a finger inside you, casually fucking like that until you moan.
“Jimin,” you whimper. “Please.”
Moving to grip his cock, Jimin positions himself at your entrance. “All you had to do was ask,” he says, guiding your hips.
The head of his cock pushes inside, then stops, waiting for you to take over. Greedy, you seat yourself in a single motion. One second, you’re empty and the next, you’re full of his cock. Jimin swears, gripping you tightly as you inhale. Chest pressed to his, you stay there, pussy throbbing as you grow accustomed to his girth.
“Fuck – Y/N,” Jimin chokes out.
“I thought you wanted this?” you tease, lifting your hips to swivel. Jimin’s eyelashes flutter when you start riding him, rising and falling on the length of his cock.
Thighs spread, you grip his shoulders to move up and down. Jimin groans, lowering his head to tease one of your nipples. He continues this while you fuck him, sucking and releasing with a lewd pop. Needing him deeper, you start to bounce up and down. His cock soothes a tight ache inside you, stretching your body like he was made for it.
Breathless, you press closer, curling your fingers into his hair. Jimin responds eagerly, widening your thighs to grip your ass with one hand. Tightly entwined, you move against him until he takes over, slamming your hips down again and again.
“Jimin,” you pant, your legs trembling. “I need more.”
“More?” Jimin pants, his expression truly fucked out. “Alright, baby.”
Lifting you off his cock, he ensures the condom is snug and positions himself on his knees. “Lie down,” Jimin demands, and you hasten to obey.
Settling on your back, you spread your thighs for Jimin to move between. Gripping your ankles, he lifts your legs upward. Pushing them towards your chest, he exposes you fully.
“So pretty,” Jimin murmurs, dragging his fingers through the slick of your folds. Switching your ankles to one hand, he lowers them to his shoulder and positions his cock at your entrance. When he pushes inside, you moan at the tightness. “Yeah, that’s it,” he coaxes, getting deeper. “You take me so well, baby.”
“Better than other girls?” you pant, the words out of your mouth before you can stop them.
Jimin goes still, then gently parts your thighs. Wrapping your legs around his waist, Jimin leans forward until your lips brush.
“What other girls?” he murmurs, thrusting into you slowly. “Y/N. You don’t seriously think I had any interest in fucking other girls while we were apart?”
Your heart hammers as you try – and fail – to squash your insecurities. With everyone else, you have no trouble saying what you want. With Jimin though, you’re aware he could crush you with a single word. It’s harder when the stakes are as high as they are.
“I wouldn’t be mad if you did,” you whisper. “We were… broken up, and –”
Jimin bends, rolling his hips to shove his cock deeper. Your words break on a moan, legs encircling him tighter.
“I don’t want to hear that again,” Jimin says, low in your ear. “You are the only person I want, Y/N. The only one in my bed. The only pussy wrapped around this cock. The only one coming beneath me,” he murmurs with another hard thrust.
Your thighs start to shake, but you fight to keep present. Hips lifting, you match him thrust for thrust as your fingers curl in his hair. Jimin moves faster, pounding you into the bed hard enough to see stars.
“I don’t care if you slept with someone else,” he says hoarsely, reaching between you. You tremble when he circles your swollen clit. “I just want you thinking of me from now on.”
“Y-yes, Jimin!” you cry out, not sure what you’re agreeing to, but knowing you don’t want this moment to end. You don’t want this to end when the weekend is over.
His mouth crushes yours, tongue sweeping forward to match every thrust. Jimin’s scent is all around you, within you as you begin to lose track of where you end, and he begins. Your focus narrows, becoming nothing but pinpricks of building pleasure. Jimin’s cock pounds into you harder, hands grasping, breath mingling as you come undone.
Gasping his name, you clutch him tight as your pleasure explodes. Jimin coaxes you through it, keeping his fingers on your clit to ride out the tremors. Once you’re slumped, fully sated, Jimin releases the hold he had on himself. Nearly withdrawing, Jimin slams his cock forward to fill your still-spasming cunt.
You cry out, thighs widening as he lets you have it. Fucking you with full abandon, Jimin hammers your g-spot in a punishing manner. Nearly as swift as the fall, you feel your climax building. This time, your body feels beyond your control, practically weightless beneath the force of his cock in your pussy. It’s all you can do to stay conscious when another orgasm rolls through you.
Jimin groans when you come, feeling your walls flutter around his thick cock. Burying his face in your neck, Jimin thrusts deeper to release. Clasped tightly around him, you feel the warm pulse as he fills the condom. Bittersweet, you wish this wasn’t there, so he could play with his slick. Breathless and panting, the two of you lie there until Jimin withdraws.
Gathering his strength, he sits back on his heels. Removing the condom, Jimin ties this in a knot and tosses it in the trash. When he heads for the bathroom, you stretch out both arms, feeling limp.
And happy.
By the time you and Jimin trade places, your eyelids are drooping. Exiting the bathroom, you find the lights off and Jimin already in bed. You attempt to grab his t-shirt from the floor and are met with a loud throat clear.
“What are you doing?” Jimin huffs.
Straightening, you find him already in bed, the sheets pulled down beside him. Jimin looks pointedly at that side, then at you.
“I was trying to wear your t-shirt to bed,” you say, slipping between the sheets to face him. “It’s Christmas Eve, I’ll have you know. December in Washington. Brr.”
Moving closer, Jimin slips an arm over your waist. “There,” he murmurs, pulling you towards him. “Use me to warm up.”
For this, you have no retort. In the back of your mind, a voice whispers you should talk to him, that there are important things to discuss, but everything fades in the warmth of his arms. Eyelids so heavy, you can barely keep them open, you fall asleep.
For the first time in months, you sleep through the night.
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You wake the next morning with a start.
Eyes wide, you stare at the wall and feel Jimin’s arm on your waist. Rather than joy though, panic claws at your throat. There were so many things you should have asked him last night. So many things you should have said instead of immediately falling into bed with your ex.
As quietly as possible, you slip free of his arm and stand from the bed. Grasping a sweatshirt and jeans, you tiptoe down the hall to swiftly get dressed. Gripping the bathroom counter, you stare at yourself in the mirror and try to sort through your feelings. Twice, you pull out your phone only to hesitate, setting it down.
Today is Christmas, meaning Namjoon and Yoongi will be with their families. Dr. Germain, your therapist, is on vacation, although you know she would respond to an emergency. This could hardly be considered an emergency, though. This is just you, acting rashly and – your heart sinks, knowing this was exactly the opposite.
You want Jimin. You’ve wanted Jimin since the night you broke up, but were so near-sighted last night, you didn’t stop to ask if he wants the same. Abruptly, you turn and open the door to the hall. Heading downstairs, you sort through the facts.
Jimin apologized for this fall. He said he regretted not staying. He said he thinks of you often, and that he hadn’t been with anyone else. If this were last year, you might read between the lines and assume he still wanted you. This isn’t last year, though. Current you has experience with expecting Jimin to do one thing, and he does another.
Dragging a hand down your face, you stop by the kitchen for coffee. The only way you’ll be able to sort through this before opening presents is with massive amounts of caffeine.
Gazing outside, you see freshly fallen snow and wonder if it’d be crazy to go for a walk. Once your coffee is full, you pad down the hallway and slip on your boots. Your coat is halfway zipped when a throat clears behind you.
Whirling around, you nearly drop the mug as Jisoo appears.
“Oh my god,” you blurt, one hand on your chest. “You scared me. I didn’t realize anyone else was awake yet.”
“Are you kidding me?” she laughs, walking closer with her own mug. “Two three-year-old daughters on Christmas? They’ve been up since the crack of dawn.”
Nervous, you laugh as your hand falls. “Ah, right. Is Hoseok keeping them in their rooms?”
Jisoo shakes her head, coming to a stop. “They fell back asleep – Hoseok, too.” Curious, she glances past you at the door. “Going for a… walk?”
“Thinking about it.”
“It’s below freezing.”
“Yeah. I thought it might help… clear my mind.”
Her brows furrow, pensive enough that you nearly curse. You couldn’t be more obvious that you and Jimin are having trouble. There’s no other reason to be up this early, trying to escape into the wilderness rather than face your ex.
Plaintive, she takes a sip of her coffee. “You know, I know you two are broken up.”
Well, fuck. Someone will have to scrape your jaw from the floor. Stunned, you stare as Jimin’s sister takes another long sip of coffee.
Seeing your face, Jisoo steps closer. “You stopped talking in the group chat,” she explains softly, patting your arm. “And Jimin… well, he seems slightly better now, but we all saw how he was after the injury.”
“I don’t… we, we’re not,” you fumble, the words dying.
“It’s okay. I get why you didn’t want to tell us. Why he didn’t want to tell us.”
At this point, it’s too late to make any denial. Jisoo has already seen the truth in your face. You suppose the important part is she hasn’t told their parents – although part of you wonders if his mom knows, as well.
“It’s been a long year,” you admit finally, your voice cracking.
“Oh, Y/N.” Setting down her mug, Jisoo pulls you into her arms. “There, there,” she exhales, rubbing your back. “I’m sorry I brought that up. I just thought… well, I thought you might want to talk to someone not my brother.”
“Thanks,” you whisper.
Patting your arm, she pulls back. “So, do you? Want to talk?”
“I…” You trail off. “It’s complicated. We broke up last September, but Jimin asked if I’d help him break the news of his contract to your parents. Things have been different this weekend, but I don’t know if Jimin is on the same page as I am. I want to get back together, but… he’s the one who asked to break up.”
Jisoo’s eyes fill with sympathy. “You should talk to him.”
“I know,” you exhale. “I know, and I will. I just… I can’t stop thinking about the last time we had a serious conversation. How badly that went.”
Understanding crosses her face. “I get that, I do.”
“He seems different. But it’s only been three months. Jimin is playing hockey so well – he seems to have his shit together, and I’m just a mess. What if I want to get back together, and he says no? Maybe this whole thing – the holidays, the hot chocolate – was just a way to say goodbye.”
Jisoo’s gives you a look. “Y/N. Listen to me – I know my brother. I knew within two seconds that you’d broken up. And I’m equally certain he still loves you – partly because my husband is a terrible secret keeper.” She shakes her head. “Apparently, Jimin asked for Hoseok’s help to win you back.”
You blink. “That… that can’t possibly be –”
Footsteps clatter downstairs, and you both turn your heads.
“Y/N,” Jimin blurts, slipping a little. His sweatpants are only half on, hopping wildly to avoid Hana’s toy on the landing. “Thank god. I thought you left,” he admits, rushing forward to grab both your arms.
Jisoo pointedly clears her throat.
Jimin glances sideways, then does a double take. “Have you been there the whole time?”
Rolling her eyes, Jisoo grabs her coffee and turns. “Merry Christmas, Jimin. Go and make up with your girlfriend.”
He watches her leave, then shakes his head, and looks back. “Are you okay?” he breathes, scanning your frame. “I woke up and you were gone. I thought…”
Putting two and two together, your eyes widen. “You thought I left.”
Jimin seems a bit queasy, but he manages to nod.
Taking another step closer, you grip his elbows. “Jimin, no,” you say. “My suitcase was still there. Didn’t you see?”
“Oh.” He blinks. “I didn’t notice.”
Oddly enough, his panic gives you the courage to speak. “I wasn’t leaving. I just wanted a walk. You know… clear my head. Think about what happened last night.”
“Are you… having second thoughts?”
“Second thoughts?” you say in disbelief. “Jimin, we never discussed a first thought. You weren’t clear about what you wanted.”
“I wasn’t clear?” His brow furrows. “Y/N, I said I didn’t want anyone but you. That you were the only person for me. I apologized for September and said that I’m trying to change. What else could I have meant?”
Your heart hammers against your ribcage, but you push on. “I know,” you admit, voice catching. “It’s just… well, I thought I knew what you’d say in September, and I turned out to be wrong. I was scared, and I asked for a break, but you agreed.”
Sudden understanding dawns on his features. Jimin’s hands slide up your arms to cup your face, his gaze gentle.
“Y/N, no,” he murmurs. “I was wrong. I shouldn’t have left. I just… didn’t want to hear what you were saying, which was that our relationship had problems. You wanted to fix those problems, and I ran away. I’m not running now, though.” Determination flickers in his gaze. “Y/N, I want to stay. Whether that’s as your boyfriend, fiancée, husband, or something else entirely – I don’t care. I just want you.”
Hearing him say this, your heart swells. Unbearable lightness spreads through you, and you take a step closer. Jimin pulls you against him, hands finding your back as he lowers his head.
“I’m sorry I scared you,” he murmurs. “I should have been clearer last night. I was, uh, a little distracted.” Jimin huffs out a laugh.
“I’m sorry you woke up and found me gone,” you whisper, tightening your grip. “I just… didn’t want to assume, and I was scared.”
Jimin shakes his head. “It’s not assuming, Y/N. I love you. I never stopped loving you. And I will never stop,” he adds. “So, you might as well get used to this.”
“I never stopped loving you, either. I –”
Jimin cuts you off, crushing your mouth to his. Bending at the knees, he lifts you over one shoulder and heads for the stairs. You yelp, smacking his shoulder but Jimin doesn’t stop.
“Jimin,” you laugh. “It’s Christmas! We should –”
“Celebrate our relationship at least once before everyone else gets up? Yes, agreed.”
Breath catching, you briskly nod. “Yes, yes. Good point. That.”
Laughter rumbles in his chest, carrying you down the hall and for the rest of the morning – until the twins bang on your door – you lose yourself in blissful certainty. Jimin is yours, and you’re his.
With no end in sight.
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Seated beside you on the loveseat, Jimin plays with your fingers, entwined in his lap. With his other arm, Jimin brings you closer to brush a kiss to your temple.
Smiling, you face him. “What’re you doing, Mr. Park?” you lowly scold. “You do know we’re not alone, right?”
Jimin lowers his nose to your hair. “More’s the pity,” he murmurs.
Heat flushes through you, but he sits back in his seat. The Christmas Eve party this year is at the ski lodge again, and all of his friends have gathered in the same spot. Tonight though, you sit beside him with a ring on your finger. Jimin barely made it to the playoffs before he proposed.
Thumb brushing over the stone in the center, Jimin can’t help but smile. From far across the room comes the sound of Jungkook booing.
“We get it,” he calls, hands cupped over his mouth. “You two are disgustingly happy. Get a room, why don’t you?”
“We will,” you call back, snuggling into Jimin’s side. “Later.”
Seokjin laughs and elbows Jungkook’s ribs. “You’re only annoyed because you’re the only single guy left.”
Jungkook pouts and sits back. “True. What’s that all about? Why’d you have to bring a super cool, amazing date to the party this year?”
Seokjin’s date, Nova, laughs. “Thanks? I’m going to take that as a compliment.”
“You should.” Jungkook nods, then faces you and Jimin. “But seriously, you two seem very happy and I’m glad for you both.”
Jimin blinks. “What’s the catch?”
“No catch.” Jungkook casually crosses his arms. “Your current level of happiness will make it all the sweeter when I kick your ass in the playoffs this year, Park.”
When you snort-laugh, Jimin gives you a look. Said look makes you squirm against him on the sofa, though no one else seems to notice.
“Yeah.” Drily, Jimin looks at Jungkook. “Because that worked out so well for you last year.”
“Ohhh,” Hoseok calls, entering the room with Jisoo on his arm. She’s noticeably pregnant, with a due date next month. “He got you there, Kook. Remember when you lost and now, you and Jimin are tied for Stanley Cup wins?”
Jungkook stares at him blankly. “Hm, no. Don’t recall.”
The entire room laughs, conversation shifting to topics other than the NHL. Squeezing Jimin’s thigh, you snuggle closer and rest your head on his shoulder.
“I am, though,” he murmurs.
You glance upward. “You are what?”
“Happy.” Jimin meets your gaze. “Happy you gave me a second chance. Happy to choose you, again and again.”
Breath hitching, your fingers tighten in his. “Easiest choice I’ve ever made.”
© kpopfanfictrash, 2023. Do not copy or repost without permission. Author’s Note: thank you so, so much for reading! HAPPY HOLIDAYS to anyone who celebrates!
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Wreck My Plans - LN
Summary: After nearly a year of making long distance work, Lando has lost his patience and abruptly demands that y/n move in with him. Because he can't keep living most of the time without her.
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Admittedly getting frustrated with someone like Lando Norris is easy.
It’s almost as if he really genuinely thinks nothing of his demands for y/n to fly off with him for a race weekend or have him just drop in out of nowhere when he decides he’s feeling lonely at night after insisting he wouldn’t be able to come over.
It’s not as if she doesn’t want him there. 
But communication with him is a headache on the best of days.
“You can come!” Lando insists while following her out of the bedroom into her living room.
“Lando, I’m trying to make a life for myself. My boss has warned me, one more calling in sick for a weekend then being spotted on broadcast or another last minute holiday booking that interrupts other peoples schedule then I’m fired and I can’t lose my job.” Y/n frowns turning abruptly to look at him. “Flying to Monaco to spend a week with you is not on the cards.”
“Quit your job.” Lando demands and for a moment he almost wants to eat the words he just spoke because her expression of rage is not something he is enjoying being the victim of. It’s silent rage too which he knows says much more than if she was yelling at him, and yet he doesn’t shut up. Instead he continues speaking. “Quit your job. Move to Monaco and live with me. I’ll take care of you.”
“Lando…you’re being ridiculous.” Y/n laughs in disbelief of the fact they’re even having this conversation.
They’re both so young and while they’ve miraculously managed to keep a relationship going for 10 months while she lives in a guest house at her parents house. It’s still so early for her to be thinking about moving countries to live with him.
“No. You’re just being stubbornly independent. It’s annoying.” Lando states as if his words are fact, and annoyingly he’s not entirely wrong. But it doesn’t mean he gets to say it out loud with so much confidence.  “What’s stopping you? Your job isn’t even your dream job, and what’s better than living with me? I’ll take care of you, we’ll get to travel, have every morning together and you’ll be a full-time girlfriend who doesn’t have to worry about a thing because we’ll not have to worry about the one threat to this relationship.” Aka living in different countries and sometimes going weeks not seeing each other in person. 
At one point she was seeing the Quadrant team more than she was seeing Lando and he was seriously unimpressed about it.
“I-What about my family?”
“I see my family all the time and you can do exactly what you’ve been doing with me. Plus I think your dad is more than ready to pass over the responsibility of you onto someone else. We’ve had a chat and he agrees it’s time for you to accept that you have to just live with me and let me take care of you.”
“Sounds like something he’d say.” Y/n mumbles in defeat since she knows her dad constantly makes jokes about how she’s his most expensive child and it’s a good thing she managed to end up with someone who has a job with such a high income because they’d need it to meet her needs(wants). “If-and I mean if-I agree to move in. Is that really it? My plans to lead my own life are wrecked.”
“You will be leading your own life, you’ll just be doing it by my side with no concern for travel budget and you’ll get to have amazing sex more regularly.” Lando grins holding nothing back with his other intentions for as to why he wants her to life with him. It’s definitely not something that is putting her off, even if he is still annoying her with his nonchalant attitude about it. 
“Amazing sex?” She scoffs, knowing he’s right but feeling like she needs to humble him somewhat right now.
“If you need me to prove that we have amazing sex then I’m happy to deliver.” 
“Stop trying to distract me.”
“Stop trying to deny that we’re made to have a life together. When we met you told me that you wanted a man who would let you give up and live on their sofa.”
“I said that as a joke after a bad day at work and you know it.”
“So you don’t want that at all?”
“I-“
“I won’t force you, y/n.”
“Just give me some time to think about it.” Y/n mumbles before she groans. “No. I don’t need to think about it.”
“Ok.” Lando nods thinking that she’s just decided that it’s not happening.
“I’d love to move in with you…idiot. But next time you want to suggest something life changing, maybe give me more warning…and I still have to give in my two week notice.” Y/n states while he nods quickly really just excited that this is actually happening.
-
By the start of the next month, Lando had new enemies of y/n’s family as they weren’t thrilled that she’s moving out the country but she was too excited about it to care and assured him that they would get over it eventually.
Lando sighs waking up to see her sleeping soundly, her face nuzzled into the pillow while he admires her and sighs just smiling over the fact he got her. 
So far she’s been there a few days and he’s already spoiled her by buying her anything she gives a second glance. 
“I know you’re awake.” He whispers watching her mouth twitch into a smile. “You can sleep on the plane.”
“But I’m so tired now.”
Attending a race weekend so shortly after moving in isn’t ideal, but he wants her there and she wants to be there but right now she is exhausted.
Eventually she’s up and they’re out travelling to the next race. 
Now their relationship has never been hidden but it has been the most questioned due to the fact they are seen together so little. At one point she was with Max so much more accusations of cheating were being thrown into the ring but Lando put those to rest quickly.
Before y/n knows it they’re in the paddock and Lando seems to be making extra effort to show off his new roommate.
Of course when he gets up on stage as part of the media for the race week, the first question is about his relationship.
“You made it public knowledge that you and y/n moved in together. How is that going?”
“Oh she hates me so much already. Apparently I suck.” Lando nods jokingly before shrugging. “No, it’s going really well. But she moved in like 3 days ago and we’re already travelling. Everyone should expect to see her glued to my side whenever I’m not doing this stuff.”
“Yeah, she hates him.” Oscar adds with a small sarcastic smile. 
“You know she does. I bother her all the time and she hates it.” Lando admits with a proud grin. “But she is going to be around a lot more now and…everyone can expect to see me doing everything and anything to irritate her.”
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You may notice I frequently comment on the assumptions people make about animal facilities based on their branding. Frequently, people assume accredited facilities are inherently better for animals than unaccredited facilities, or assume sanctuaries are inherently more moral / better at caring for their animals than zoos.
I want to show you an example of why I am always, always skeptical of these assumptions.
If you’re in the California area, you might have heard about Hank the Tank - who is actually a Henrietta, btw - the 500 pound nuisance bear from Lake Tahoe who broke into 21 homes in search of food. She was recently captured by wildlife officials and moved to a sanctuary in Colorado. The Wild Animal Sanctuary has three main facilities, two in Colorado and one in TX. To give you some context, it’s the biggest carnivore sanctuary in the country - they advertise somewhere between 300-500 animals, mostly large carnivores, between their properties. It’s where most of the Tiger King cats went. It’s PETA’s preferred placement for confiscated exotic animals. So, obviously, it’s got to be great, right? Except… take a look at what they posted about Henrietta’s arrival.
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Here’s their post about Henrietta’s arrival at the Refuge, the large facility in Colorado that isn’t open to the public. Let’s take a closer look at that food trough…
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What do we see here? An entire rotisserie chicken that is either blackened or highly seasoned, and a whole ham. Maybe a second chicken underneath the pile, I can’t quite tell. The sanctuary gets the majority of their bear food donated from groceries stores once it’s past the sell-by date, so we know those are older meats and they’re full of a ton of salt. Then, for fruit and veg, there’s a cantaloupe, mango, corn, avocado, grapes, and apples. Maybe a pepper or two, it’s hard to tell. That’s a lot of sugar and not a lot of fiber or roughage.
But… on top of it and to the right… are those Twizzlers?
Yes.
The sanctuary confirmed on Facebook that they fed this recently rescued obese bear what looks like almost an entire pack of Twizzlers.
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I don’t know of any world in which it’s appropriate to feed candy to a bear. Maybe a piece or two as a really high value reinforcer for hard behaviors (that isn’t relevant here, it’s openly against this sanctuary’s ethos to do any husbandry or medical training). An entire pack of Twizzlers is just appalling. But it’s not uncommon for this facility! I have a book written about their operations and animal care (that I bought at their gift shop this spring) which openly discusses how the bears get fed bread, doughnuts, marshmallows, and all sorts of incredibly unhealthy food that comes in with the grocery donations.
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But hey, this is apparently fine for the bears, according to the sanctuary’s founder. He was quoted in that same book as saying “Bears are the only animal I know of that can eat insane amounts of sugar and it never hurts them. It does not hurt their organs. They do not get clogged arteries. They do not have high blood pressure. In the wild they eat all these sweet berries in the fall, and they convert sugar to fat… so the more sugar they get the better… we would all love to have a system like that!”
Now while it’s true that bears have physiological adaptations that modulate their insulin production and sensitivity in ways that appear to prevent them from from developing diabetes, that does’t mean it’s healthy for them to regularly eat processed carbohydrates, sugar, and general junk food. And remember - Henrietta gained her fame because of how incredibly overweight she already is, and because she was seeking out human food, According to the Washington Department of Fish and Wildlife, a healthy weight for a normal adult black bear is between 100-300 pounds. So, obviously, the best thing to do is… continue to feed her candy.
Then, later on in the book, it details how they have to bribe a camel to sit tight for a regular medical examination (since they don’t train for medical behaviors) by letting him drink a can of Mountain Dew each time.
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If a zoo was known publicly to be feeding their animals Mountain Dew or a couple Twizzlers - even just once, on a rare occasion - they’d be eviscerated in the media and by public opinion. But feeding out inappropriate junk food appears to be a pretty common practice at this place, and it just goes unscrutinized because everyone assumes sanctuaries are inherently better for animals.
So, long story short, never make assumptions about the quality of a facility based on it’s branding or accreditation. (TWAS is accredited by the Global Federation of Animal Sanctuaries). If you have concerns about the ethics or practices of a facility, always try to put your preconceptions aside, go and see for yourself, and think critically about what you see and what you’re told.
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talkbycolor · 4 months
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john doe game headcanons . . . ↷
A/N; i'm actually really sensitive about john doe JHSAJHSAJAS
Pairing; "John Doe" x GN!Reader
CW; Just doe being the weirdo we love / PISSPISSPISS / implied cannibalism? not so much tho / ew stinky gay / sex with a hairball
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john doe as a partner.
His love for you is pure, but the lack of understanding in humans makes it complicated, he doesn't know how to express it in a "correct" way.
He has little interest in humans but all his interest in You, do you want to learn to play an instrument? Doe too, he would learn to use a phone to call you although it would be useless since in the end he would follow you to work, he can't stand having you away for even a second!
He tried to eat you (unfortunately not in a sexual way), he wanted to bite, pull your teeth, and tear them out of your cheeks to eat them, you had to use a lot of patience to explain to him that this was painful and you could die
He likes your fluids, your sweat smells so good, it tastes great, your tears, he knows that tears mean something is wrong but he can't help but want to lick them, at least he's like a puppy in that way and that will make you laugh, Doe wants to help! your urine, he will drink it all without a problem, if you are both having a loving session in bed and you want to go to the bathroom, forget it, he will open your legs and help empty your bladder, he loved being your personal toilet, your blood is the sweetest of his paradise, be careful with accidental cuts or his mouth will stick like a leech to your wound
Ideas for romantic activities will probably come from television, be careful what he watches
At this point, Doe lives by and for you, he will adapt to your lifestyle and tastes, although he cannot understand most of them, the idea of "breaking up" does not exist in his head, you can walk away, even stop talking to him and he will continue behind you
But he has feelings, why don't you talk to him anymore? Did he do something wrong? He no longer leaves rats in the kitchen, he no longer tries to make You dinners with raw meat, is that the way he looks? Tell him your standards! Doe will change everything for you, even reality
He can definitely purr, he's more like an old, ugly, stray cat that will rest on your lap, but he's YOUR, old, ugly, stray cat.
He doesn't know how to give compliments, it's more like observations or comments about how you make him feel "You're wearing a big hat!" "A red dress!", "I'm so happy to see you!" but it's adorable that he reminds you that you are his whole life…somehow
It's like having a child at home, in the strangest way possible, he will try to make horrible crafts for you and help with housework without much success.
If you demand sex, Doe would probably do his best to make a nice cock, just for you, or a pussy depending on what you like, he will be submissive but if you ask him to take control he will try
And that will probably be the messiest and hardest sex you've ever had in your life, Doe always adores you like it's your last day on earth so in a sexual sphere it would be ten times worse
If you put on a movie at night, he will fall asleep halfway through, no exceptions, the sound of the television and your smell will be enough
Doe would definitely kill for you, he doesn't understand jokes so please don't say "Ugh I hate that guy, I hope he's dead" because yes, the guy will be dead.
In case You doesn't like the smelly boy, Doe will try to take showers regularly, at least to not smell like something out of the sewer, the pain doesn't matter if it's about you
Loves physical contact and quality time
Surprisingly, Doe has a driver's license, he would be your personal chauffeur, you may think it's an adorable gesture but he just wants to be sure where you are at every hour of the day… and help, of course.
Aside from adoring you, Doe actually has his own tastes and hobbies, he HAS feelings! He has tried knitting since the technology is very confusing, he really is like an old man
He tries to have a good relationship with your friends and family, if you have a big family he will probably feel overwhelmed but that doesn't mean he will stop trying to show that he loves you and wants to be with you.
Your younger nephews love it, they think of Doe as a weird-looking uncle who lets them play with his hair
Doe shirt always has hearts when he looks at You.
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wild-karrde · 3 months
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Y'all... I cannot stress enough how you need to interact with things in order to maintain a fandom community.
I have seen absolutely abysmal interaction with everything I've posted lately, and it is IMMENSELY disheartening. Of course, I create it for me, but I choose to share it with everyone and want to get excited about it WITH YOU. And it seems that every other artist/writer/creator I know is experiencing the same thing.
If you're one of the people that regularly interact or just have hit a bit of a speedbump lately, then please know I'm not talking to you. I'm also not talking to other creators that have to choose between engaging or creating (and sometimes just don't have the bandwidth). I'm talking to the blogs that ask for more and then never comment or share. I'm talking to the people that sign up for tag lists and then are never heard from again. I'm talking to blogs that spam like but haven't reblogged anything since 2022. Y'all, this site thrives off of interaction. That is how it works. You have to help things circulate, and it is so frustrating to see the entire place in a collective slump. I have been blocking blogs left, right, and center that do not share things, and I will continue to do so. But it is such a freakin' bummer to see the state of things at the moment.
Hell, I started a sideblog for Fandom Friday (@fandom-friday), and have only received a handful of submissions after getting asked numerous times when it would be coming back. IT'S BACK. IT'S HERE. WHERE IS EVERYONE????? I figured after a few months' break, that people would have plenty of submissions stacked up, but that has not been the case AT ALL.
Fandom communities are such incredible places, but it's felt like a ghost town around here lately with the writers and artists just screaming into the void to PLEASE INTERACT WITH OUR STUFF. Please show up for one another because it is so very soul-crushing to watch everyone I know just feel completely disheartened. I cannot tell you how depressing it is to spend hours and hours carefully crafting something, being genuinely excited about it, and get almost no interaction or response other than a few likes and comments.
PLEASE INTERACT WITH THINGS YOU LIKE OR ELSE THERE WON'T BE ANY MORE THINGS TO INTERACT WITH.
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yoisami · 7 months
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˚₊‧୨୧ ATTRACTED TO YOU !
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[૮₍ ˃ࡇ˂ ₎ა]: how your favourite blue lock character flirts with you/shows you his affection—high school edition ! this was 100% brain rot but i had fun writing this 乁⁠ ⁠˘⁠ ⁠o⁠ ⁠˘⁠ ⁠ㄏ
tags. isagi, kunigami, kaiser, nagi, rin, sae x gn!reader (separately), 1363 wc, just fluff, high school romance, unestablished relationship, reader is called “pretty” and “cute”, kunigami is the favourite child today, not proofread
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ISAGI doesn’t necessarily flirt since he’s more of a genuine guy (??), but he regularly compliments you (they’re hints that he likes you). he’s a perceptive guy, so he’ll notice little details about you and will let you know that he likes them. he’s also the type to compliment your handwriting (real), and as your seatmate, he does pay attention to the way your brows furrow when the teacher puts up a harder equation on the board. he’s not great at mathematics himself, and will ask you to explain the concept to him, hence seizing the opportunity to tell you that you’re so smart ! also, isagi isn’t afraid to let you know that you look nice—he’s not bold about it, but he’s not completely shy about it either. this normally happens in the morning though—just as you’re placing your bag down onto your desk, and pulling out all the textbooks you need for today, he’ll greet you good morning from behind, and tells you that you look really pretty today in a very nonchalant manner (you’re left blushing profusely until you notice that the tips of his ears are bright red) !
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KUNIGAMI prefers to show his affection towards you by doing things for you. his method of flirting is by offering you a hand when you need help, or even just completing the whole task for you. such as classroom duty—you’re paired with him this week to ensure that the classroom is left spotless after class, and while there’s multiples tasks you both have to do (sweeping the floor, wiping the blackboard clean, dusting the windows), he simply just tells you to take a rest and he’ll do it all. you refuse though, since he’s also had a long day too, so you remind him that the responsibility is shared between the two of you (he falls even harder for you after this). when the school’s volleyball team coach asks you to fetch the box of jerseys that’s placed on a high shelf, kunigami offers to go with you ! since it’s a bit too high for your reach, you use a ladder to give yourself some bonus height, and kunigami’s standing right behind you, hands hovering over your waist, ready to catch you if you fall (you don’t lol) !
bonus (!): the teacher has forced all late students to run laps around the field as punishment in the morning, and unfortunately, you were one of them. you’re heaving as you’re running with your bag, but you feel someone tugging your bag off your shoulders—it’s kunigami ! while the teacher is questioning why he was running too (he came early), all he says is that he wants to train his stamina as he takes your bag, throws it over his shoulder, and continues to run beside you ! (i watch k-dramas ok)
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KAISER flirts openly. very openly (canon). but it’s clever—the way he’s able to string a few words together and it’s as pleasing as a bouquet of purple lilacs, leaving you a blushing mess. it’s almost like he flirts strategically, and every word and action he executes has a purpose—which is to make you fancy him ! kaiser will throw in compliments here and there, but he prefers to show it to you, such as deliberately reaching for the same item just to make sure your hands touch. and he pretends to reel back his hand, muttering sorry, but internally, he’s satisfied with his accomplishment, because you’ve turned away to hide your cute blush ! i believe that you will find kaiser annoying, so it’s a breath of fresh air when the two of you share a conversation about your dreams, and his hand is already right beside yours (with your pinkies touching !!), itching to hold yours. kaiser’s a proud individual, and he will show off at any given moment, making sure that you’re watching. it’s a lunchtime game of soccer, and he knows you and your friends are sitting close to the field. after being challenged by an upperclassmen, he agrees, but first he “accidentally” rolls the ball to your direction. instead of asking you to kick it back, he approaches you, saying, “watch me, yeah?” with a very charming wink as he jogs back with the ball in his hands !
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NAGI isn’t the type of “flirt” either, but instead acts almost friendlier to you, and you can tell he’s intrigued by you by staying close to you. he’s not clingy, but he definitely likes to stay within your vicinity—while you’re sitting at your desk at lunch, trying to finish the history homework that is due today, nagi will not leave his seat beside you, and will merely pull his phone out and start gaming. he doesn’t talk much, but does engage in the conversations you share with him by nodding his head, letting you know that he’s paying attention to what you’re saying ! nagi’s unintentionally flirty sometimes—he doesn’t know that sharing earphones is somewhat a romantic gesture, but offers to give you the other earpiece when you ask him what he’s listening to; he doesn’t understand why you’re blushing when he’s resting his head against the table, blankly staring up at you, but indulges in how cute you look. it’s raining and you’re already beginning to walk out of the school gates, but nagi runs after you as he takes cover under your umbrella, clothes looking damp from the rain. he’s slightly panting, and you’re asking him why on earth he didn’t just pull out his own umbrella. all he says is that it’s bothersome to do so, but in reality, he just wanted to walk you home.
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RIN likes to admire you from afar (hear me out)—this means that stolen glances are really common between the two of you, and you catch him staring most of the time. in response to being caught, rin looks away at the speed of light, making you doubt yourself and wonder if it’s simply your mind playing tricks on you. rin will also defend you if he notices someone gossiping about you ! story time: you’re pretty close to one of the popular guys in your class, and sometimes the two of you eat together at lunch. you also have a friend from chemistry and you consider yourselves as good friends, but a few months back, some girls were gossiping about you, claiming that you were “two-timing”. of course, rin overheard, and he immediately stood up for you, belittling those girls with a cold expression before he walked off and left. there are moments where he does talk to you, but he’s not the greatest at continuing the conversation, so he opts to watch you from a distance. there are moments where you’re laughing heartily with your group of friends, and he can’t help but let that little smile appear on his lips. he reckons your smiles are contagious, but honestly, he just enjoys looking at pretty things (you) !
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SAE’s “flirting” method is a bit stiff—you can tell he’s clearly not experienced in the field of romance, but you enjoy his efforts ! he’s terrible at giving compliments, and once had offended you in the process of trying to tell you how nice your hair looked today. he doesn’t seem shy, but he definitely keeps some space between you two, because most of the time, he’s trying to think of an excuse to talk to you ! when he’s feeling bold, he will seize the moment to be physically closer to you—such as if you’re reading in the library, he’ll take the seat opposite of you without saying a word, and pretends to be reading the back page of some random autobiography he picked up from the nearest shelf. he looks invested in it, but it’s all a facade as he steals frequent glances at you ! he’s also very much the type to leave you drinks from vending machine without letting you know it’s from him ! he’ll buy you a can of your favourite juice, and will leave it at your desk during lunch break—a small gift to congratulate you on achieving the highest mark in the class.
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© yoisami 2023. plagiarism, translation and distribution of my works outside of tumblr is not permitted.
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violetrainbow412-blog · 8 months
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Birthday wishes [S. R.]
Spencer Reid x fem!reader
Word count: 6.4k
Summary: everyone seems to forget Spencer's 30th birthday, but he only cares that you remember it.
second part here!
contents: childhood best friends, idiots who-don't-know-they're-in-love, surprise parties, pure fluff honestly
If you like my work leave a comment or reblog, that would make me very happy!
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The first thing Spencer did when he got home was get rid of his converse and even though it had been a relatively calm day he was exhausted, so he went straight to the bedroom to throw himself on the bed. He lay back for a while, just enjoying the calm, and then he fumbled for the cell phone in his briefcase. He hit the call button on the contact he'd wanted to talk to all day and then he waited patiently.
“L/N family residence, who do you want me to contact you with?”
"Hello, is Miss Y/N by any chance?"
"Who's looking for her?" you continued and a smile escaped from his lips. It was usual for you to respond in a silly way when he called you, so he was used to it by now.
"Her best friend, Dr. Spencer Reid"
“Spencer Reid? Spencer Reid, I don't think that sounds familiar…” you teased, hearing him snort from the other end of the line “Ah! Wait, I remember you."
“After knowing each other for like 20 years, I hope so” he laughed, and then you too.
Sure enough, the man and you were friends from a very early age. You were his neighbor when he lived in Las Vegas and your parents had always been quite nice to the family, knowing the delicate situation they faced, so it wasn’t difficult for you to become friends. You were the first friend he ever had, a real one, so there was a special fondness between you, even when he had gone off to college at such a young age and distance had subsequently separated the two of you.
You always called each other and every time he visited his mother it was a law that you also received a visit, even if the time was only enough for you to greet each other with a hug. You also traveled to DC a few times because of your work and you even had your own key to his apartment, so if he was busy with a case, you could stay there instead of paying for a hotel. Your relationship was like that of a brother and sister, although as this familiarity grew, it was slightly intervened by loving feelings that you didn’t want to face yet but were definitely there.
You knew a lot about his life from those long-distance calls that happened at least once a week, and right now he was excited about something in particular. He was exactly one week away from his thirty-year birthday, and he hoped that, like every year, you would fly from Las Vegas to see him. It was a tradition, whether it was thunder or lightning, you two hadn't missed a single birthday from the other since he had to move out of state. So Spencer was hoping that this call was for you guys to plan what you were going to do; regularly your birthdays were in restaurants or nice places and his were at home, with food delivery and classic movies, or when you felt very adventurous you could go to a museum or just walk through the streets.
"How are you, Reid? How is everything?"
"Not so good, but not so bad either" he laughed "And you?"
"Everything has been terrible, it's like a curse is on my head, I swear" you complained. Spencer got up from his comfortable position to sit on the bed and although he knew that most of the time you said things like that you were just exaggerating, this time he had a bad feeling.
"Why?”
You started to tell him about the financial problems you were going through and he, with his mind still focused on your visit, thought about offering to pay for your flight to DC, but his spirits fell completely when you told him that you were being put under too much pressure at work.
“We're going to have a meeting next Friday with HR to discuss responsibilities and so on, but honestly I don't think things will get better. Right now I'm working from home because there are pending issues that have to be resolved as soon as possible and I barely have time to think during the day, you seriously can't imagine how busy I've been.”
When you finished the story, he remained silent, feeling his chest squeezed by the direction that things were now taking. With that scenario, your visit was too complicated and he was debating internally about whether he should tell you something about it or not. As he had thought before, the money to have you with him wasn’t a problem, but dealing with the issue of your shortened times was totally different. He didn't want to make you feel guilty for not being able to go, let alone disrupt activities that he knew were important to you, like that meeting you just mentioned. So what should he do? He wanted you to be there, but he wasn't going to make you.
“Crash? You still there?" you asked. Only you and his mother called him that, since his nickname had arisen when he was just a child due to his clumsiness, a trait that, in your opinion, he still retained. It wasn't offensive coming from you, even he was glad to know that this was something that belonged to the two women he loved the most.
"Yes, I'm here. I just was thinking"
"You always do, I don't think there's a single second when that mind of yours rests," you said amused "Anyway, what's new?"
Spencer hoped that you would at least apologize to him for your future absence or ask him what he intended to do today. But you seemed not even aware of it.
“Nothing, really. Today we're done with a case and if I'm lucky I'll be able to rest this weekend” he murmured. Sometimes he would tell you things about the cases, omitting bloody and dangerous details, so he leaned back and started recounting all the events into the speaker of his phone.
You two continued to talk for almost an hour, but the topic of the birthday didn't come up once and Spencer didn't try to bring it up. After all, there were still a few days to go and in the worst case, you could at least call him that day to congratulate him, right?
But as the days went by, the anxiety ate him more and he even called you a few days after that, but he only received a response from your mailbox and after a few minutes a short text message where you explained that you were a little busy with work, but that you would call him as soon as you could. The fact that during those days he found out that the entire team already had something to do on Friday didn’t help his mood too much.
Hotch and JJ discussed a sleepover for Henry and Jack after work, he overheard Garcia and Morgan agreeing to visit a new bar for the night, Rossi said he was going to visit one of his ex-wives and when he thought he could still invite Emily to hang out, she went over to talk to him about the therapist appointment that she clearly didn't want to go to, but had to. There was no remedy, everyone had plans for his birthday and he didn’t want to interfere with them. Resignation was the only thing the doctor had left during the remaining days, and when he least expected it, the entire week had already passed.
He used to wake up to your off-key version of the birthday song and a cupcake with a candle stuck in it, then you'd make breakfast and you'd eat it together; so not having any of that when he got out of bed, he felt his heart break a little. This year he thought he would get your call first thing in the morning, but when he checked his phone he didn't even find a message announcing that there was a case. He didn't want to go to the office to do paperwork on his birthday, but the thought of at least getting a hug from his coworkers cheered him up slightly.
He put on his favorite shirt, a new pair of pants, and the converse that you had given him and he only wore on special occasions, before leaving the apartment. For some reason Spencer enjoyed taking the subway, perhaps more than anyone he knew, and this time he stopped at a coffee shop that was just before arriving to buy something to drink, since he didn't feel like eating anything.
He undertook the entire trip lost in his thoughts and when he least expected it, he was already at the headquarters. He checked his phone, again, but he still didn't get any notifications or missed calls. Many times you had insisted that he get a more modern model and he had refused, but now he was wondering if the advances in technology would have allowed him to communicate with you through a video call. It would be embarrassing to ask Garcia for a favor, so he concluded that he would just wait, after all if he hadn't communicated it must have been for something important.
Upon entering, he greeted everyone with a huge smile and he felt somewhat disconcerted when the others greeted him normally, without hugs or cake on the table. He sat down at his desk to start going through the documents he already had and the others continued on their own business. It was common for Emily or Morgan to come up to him for a chat, but on this particular day it was as if they were avoiding him. Even Penelope, who he swore would congratulate him, seemed to have completely forgotten when he came to her place with the excuse of needing a piece of information from the previous case. When Hotch called him to his office, the man's eyes lit up, believing that his boss had remembered the celebration of the date.
"Can you do me a favor?" he had asked, without taking his eyes off whatever he was writing "Donovan needs to sort some files and honestly he has no idea how to do it and I'm too busy to explain, could you do it?"
Donovan was in charge of the physical file inside the building and it was not usual for him to request this kind of support, but Reid still said yes, and the rest of the day passed with him locked in a cellar full of filing cabinets. He had made sure to take his phone with him and every time he turned it on to check it and he realized that there was no sign of you his disappointment increased. He came to wonder if his mind hadn't been playing tricks on him and, for some incredible reason, he had gotten the day wrong and it wasn't really October 12; but when he saw the calendar, he verified that this wasn’t possible.
“Are you out of punishment yet?” Emily taunted, when after many hours she saw him again by the bullpen. At another time Spencer would have laughed, but right now his mood wasn't quite right for it and he just looked at her, more hostile than he intended. “Hotch left you some documents on your desk, he asked if you could review them before you go. It's urgent,” she informed him.
It was obvious that this would take time and he felt like crying at the thought of having to stay longer than the regular time. It was almost an hour after everyone else had gone home that he finished, feeling somewhat annoyed to find out that even Aaron had already left.
He doubted whether to go home or go to dinner somewhere, because he knew that if he returned to the apartment he would sink into sadness. His birthdays didn't mean anything special on their own, what he liked was to feel loved, to enjoy the company, but above all to see you.
While he was leaving the building, and as if you were reading his mind, a call vibrated on his cell phone. Seeing that it was you, Spencer didn't take more than two seconds to answer, thinking that maybe after the whole day he could improve.
"You won't believe what happened to me!" you said, without even greeting him. It wasn't the kind of sentence he was expecting, but he still decided to listen.
"What happened?"
“There is a boy, at my work, his name is Brandon. Well, Brandon and I have talked a few times now and he seems like a nice person, plus he's pretty handsome and he finally asked me out on a date with him, can you believe it?" you murmured excitedly, and a lump formed in Spencer's throat "We're going out today, the meeting was canceled and we decided to take advantage of the time, but I can't decide whether to wear the red dress or the black and gold outfit that my mom gave me and I need the help of an expert. You have seen both, which one do you think suits me better?
Spencer was quiet for a moment, processing the situation she was going through, and it wasn't until you said his name that he reacted.
"I like your red dress," he murmured, with a sad smile that you clearly couldn't see. He couldn't believe you were going out with a man you'd never mentioned and it affected him more than he expected you to be asking for advice because a pang of jealousy shot through his chest.
You were telling him that you were going to have a date on his birthday.
“I thought the same! I guess that will be the best option."
"I guess…"
"Where are you now? At home?" you kindly asked. Your tone almost made him angry.
“I just got off work. I'm on my way to take the subway"
"Oh, excellent. Today there were no cases?"
"Not fortunately. I'm glad to know that the criminals at least respected my birthday."
With that said, there was a deathly silence between you, to the point where he wondered if you were still on the other end of the line or if you understood what he was implying.
“Spencer, my God, I…”
"It's okay if you forgot," he said, trying to play the matter down, but the tears that were beginning to accumulate in his eyes indicated otherwise. The guilty tone with which you had spoken was more than enough to know that, probably, if he hadn’t mentioned it, you wouldn’t have done it either "Nobody remembered it"
"I'm so sorry" you practically sobbed "Between all the work and stuff I... I don't even know why I forgot, forgive me”
"It’s okay" he replied. But it wasn't okay. 
“Can I do something to fix it? Whatever, you just… ask me what you want and I'll do it. I swear," you mumbled, sounding desperate.
He tried to convince you that there was no problem with it and you continued to pour out apologies, which Spencer knew were worthless now but he wasn't selfish enough to ignore them. He wanted to scream, cry, or do anything to get that weight off his chest and even though he loved the sound of your voice right now it was the last thing he needed.
“Anyway, I'm about to enter the subway and uh, I have almost no signal there. I'll call you later, okay?" the question didn’t wait for an answer, because he immediately added: "Good luck on your date, bye"
If he had considered going out to celebrate, he knew that now what he urgently needed was to go home or he would break down in tears in the middle of the street. The ride on the subway lasted longer than he would have liked, as he longed to go to sleep and find out if it would allow him to forget a bit about the shitty day he had just had. When he was finally in front of the door with the number 23 in gold letters, he struggled enormously to put the key into the lock, because the tears in his eyes were already clouding his vision, and he believed that the heaviness on his shoulders wouldn’t allow him to advance.
The key turned one turn, then another, and then Spencer was allowed inside the house.
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One week before…
The team was meeting in the conference room at the request of Penelope, who had asked everyone to stay after the scheduled time, waiting to receive the news of what they thought would surely be a new case.
"And Reid?" Morgan asked, noticing the empty chair next to him, because they had seen him leave and that was reason enough to have questions about his absence.
"I'm glad you asked because this meeting is related to him," Garcia replied. With the push of a button, a face appeared on the main screen and almost everyone present was surprised to see who it was "She is Y/N Y/L/N, do you remember her?"
"You were at Prentiss's funeral, right?"
"That's right" you replied with a smile, looking directly at the aforementioned "I still have a little trouble understanding, uh... that whole thing, to be honest" you joked.
"Y/N asked us for this space to discuss something related to Spencer's birthday, which will be next Friday" explained Hotch, who was the other member who was already aware of the matter "The microphone is all yours"
"Okay, so where do I start? It's great to see all of you and I hope you're doing well. Every year I visit Spencer on his birthday and we spend the day together, but since this year is his 30th birthday I wanted to do something special and I want to know if you would be willing to help me”
"Tell us your plan, precious"
“I don't intend to take up a lot of your time, it's simple. I will call him today to insinuate that this year I can’t go and all I want you to do is pretend that day that you don’t remember that it’s his birthday”
"Wait, why do you want us to ignore it?" JJ muttered with a frown.
"I want to throw him a surprise party in his apartment" you explained with a smile and then the request you were making to them didn't sound so farfetched "You can tell him you have plans that day and if he mentions something you just say you can't go. I bought my flight for that day and I will be in the city starting in the morning, so I can prepare everything”
"And how will we do if he invites us somewhere?"
Morgan suggested using a decoy for him and pretending they were taking him somewhere else, but you balked at the idea.
“I have all my hopes that he doesn’t mention anything. If so, we'll manage somehow. And I know that asking for that is difficult because we are all his friends, but if necessary, avoid him completely that day. We need him to know under no circumstances that we have a surprise for him."
“He is very smart and he will figure it out. If we make him believe that we forgot he will concentrate on that” you argued. Although the others didn't want to admit it, they knew that you had a point there "I just hope you don't have some unforeseen case or something like that, because I would hate for that lie to be for nothing"
You discussed some more until you concluded that your plan was the most viable. The girls would help you with ideas for decorations and David even offered to buy all the drinks. Although the others weren’t surprised by his generosity, you were slightly upset, but this didn’t prevent you from accepting the offer and thanking him in advance.
“It really means a lot to me that you guys help me, thanks” you murmured happily, once everything was settled, and then your phone started ringing in the background “It's Spencer! I have to answer him. If something happens, you guys will tell me, right?"
"Take it for granted" smiled Garcia, who was the one who had lived with you the most, but everyone supported her from the bottom.
"Fine, thanks everyone, thanks Agent Hotch, I'll see you later!" you said goodbye, hanging up the video call and simultaneously answering the phone.
Everyone got up from the conference room and Rossi was the first to speak, a smile on his face.
"Call me crazy..." he started to say "but something tells me that girl and Spencer are going to end up together"
"The pretty boy loves her, but he still doesn't notice it," Morgan laughed, as they all walked out. "Whenever we go to Vegas, his eyes shine when he sees her."
“And she's setting this up for him! It's so sweet" Penelope sighed, who had already taken Derek's arm "But the part about being mean to Spencer doesn't convince me much… he's going to be so sad"
"Look at it this way, babygirl: if he's sad he'll be happier than usual with the surprise."
"Nobody's going to screw it up," Emily threatened them, pointing her index finger at them, and the rest of the team promised they wouldn't.
Meanwhile, your first part of the plan was in the works, with the late-night call he had made to you. You had to admit that lying to your best friend was something you hated, but with any luck it would all be worth it when you could hug him and give him that gift that you had carefully kept on one of the shelves, that you hoped could be enough for such an important event like the first thirty years of life.
What happened during the week is history, which was consolidated at the moment he turned the handle without even imagining what awaited him.
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When Spencer walked through the door the first thing he did was turn on the light and he felt like he was going to have a heart attack when he heard the screams coming from inside. There were purple balloons scattered all over the floor, a congratulations banner, a table full of presents, and everyone was there.
The shock was such that he couldn't even manage to say a word and some of the tears that he had been holding back were finally able to come out, but this time for different reasons.
They hadn’t forgotten.
"How…? What are you doing here?"
“We came to celebrate your birthday, genius,” Morgan laughed, as he reached over to hug his friend and ruffled his hair brotherly.
A wave of hugs preceded that and even he received a couple of kisses on each cheek from Rossi, which finally made him laugh. He seemed like a child, completely fascinated with everything around him and still processing the situation.
In the midst of it all, he couldn't help wondering how his friends had been able to enter the apartment, since none of them had a copy of the key and the landlady was too suspicious to have let them in just like that, but he felt happy for the direction the day had taken.
“First of all, we have another surprise for you,” said JJ, obviously excited. The rest shared complicit glances and García began to record with his cell phone, which made him a little nervous "But you have to close your eyes."
Spencer looked at everyone else as if waiting for a confirmation of that, and seeing a couple of nods he did what his friend was asking. Just to make sure Jennifer covered his eyelids with her hands and in this way she turned him around, while he wondered what this surprise could be about.
"Are you ready?" she asked and the man answered yes with a hum. There was silence for a second, as if they were checking something, and then she withdrew her hand. "Open them."
Many possibilities went through the man's mind for whatever he would see at that moment, but when he did, he felt his heart stop for a moment. There you were, looking at him with a sweet smile and wearing that red dress. 
The rest of those present were waiting for who would make the first move, because the two of you had froze looking at each other, and García was only pointing the camera carefully as you had requested.
"Surprise?" you said shyly, noticing that Spencer hadn't said anything.
You were afraid that after the call you had he was upset with you in some way, but a second after he recovered from the shock he was already on top of you, holding you by the waist to spin you through the air while you laughed heartily.
"You came," he said, his voice cracking, but completely brimming with happiness.
"Of course I would, Spencer, do you think I'd miss your birthday?"
"But you... your work"
"All a vile lie"
"And that boy?"
“There was never such a thing,” you laughed, freeing yourself from the weight of guilt “You're my only boy,” you added affectionately, palms planted squarely on your friend's cheeks. He still had you in his arms and was grinning from ear to ear at your answers "I'm so sorry I told you all that, I just didn't want you to suspect anything, can you forgive me?"
"No!" he practically squealed and you widened your eyes in amazement “Today was the most terrible day because I thought you didn't care about me anymore, you made me suffer! All of you!" your friend complained, looking away from you briefly to look at those present.
"In our defense, she asked us to," Emily laughed, holding up both hands in surrender.
"You're so mean," he murmured, turning his attention back to you. "But I love you so much.”
A group sigh filled the room as he engulfed you in a hug and from your position you could see the teasing or tender smiles they all had. It wasn't very common to see the youngest of the team in that position, much less saying those things, plus we had to add the collective opinion that you were madly in love.
"Seriously, forgive me"
"It’s okay…" he whispered close to your ear "You're here, that's what matters"
His body felt so soft and safe that you didn't want to stop hugging him, but you knew that if you took too long it would create an uncomfortable environment for the rest, so you had no choice but to gently pull him away from you. The woman asked your friend, just to annoy him, if he liked his surprise and although he didn't say anything, the giant smile and flushed cheeks were enough of an answer.
"Come, you won't escape my melodious voice" you murmured after a few seconds, when the commotion calmed down a bit.
Taking him by the hand, you led him to the table where you had the chocolate cake with a couple of candles that formed the number 30. Everyone sang the song while the wick burned down and the boy looked anywhere, with that certain shyness characteristic of him. When he blew out the candle to make his wish, you all applauded and that started the celebration.
There were some appetizers on the table and Rossi had stocked all the drinks quite well, as he had promised. As the minutes passed you hovered here and there to check that things were in order, arranging everything as if it were your own apartment, and Spencer could only smile at how well you seemed to get along with everyone. The last time you'd seen the team was, sure enough, during Emily's funeral, but that didn't mean there wasn't some history between you.
He still remembered the feeling of shame when in the early years he had asked Gideon for permission to summon someone to the hotel during a case in Las Vegas. It wasn't that he was ashamed of you, but that he was ashamed of having to reveal something so important in his life to his FBI colleagues. The agent didn't object at all, but that didn't spare the man from being grilled by Derek and Elle about which mysterious lady their younger coworker was talking to. Over the years, people left the unit, and others joined, but the constant was always you. Even now, if a replacement happened, Spencer knew that the rest of the team would take it upon themselves to introduce you to said person. 
At some point he felt a tremendous nostalgia for that time and in a chain of thoughts he came to ask himself if working where he did was the right thing to do. Turning thirty was cause for celebration, but for him it was also tantamount to thinking how well he had lived up to the expectations of what he expected to have achieved at this age: How much progress should he have made in the world by now? Was it any use having that brilliant mind that everyone raved about if he was working in a government office? And what about his personal life? He wanted to get married at some point and wondered if he should be looking for love instead of criminals. Even while he was through all this, he wished he could focus on how happy his friends had made him instead of worrying about other things. 
"Up to here I can see the gears of your brain" laughed someone next to him. It was Emily "What's wrong?"
"Nothing" he murmured, shaking his head softly "I was thinking about some things, it's just that"
"You should drink some more, that wine that Dave brought tastes delicious" she smiled, inviting him to come closer to the others to chat.
It was a bit ironic, but completely understandable, that even at his own birthday party he would remain a bit oblivious to the situation. Following Emily's advice, he poured himself another drink and joined the other attendees to enjoy the moment. For hours you laughed and chatted, until the drinks were running out and your drunkenness rising.
The parents of the group were the first to leave and the last was a drunk Penelope who threatened to stay there to sleep, but Derek took it upon himself to guide her to his car to take her home. It was late at night when only you and Spencer were left, amidst all the decorations in the room.
"Peace and tranquility"
"It was too much?" you laughed, knowing that your friend could become overwhelmed by the hustle and bustle.
"No, no. Just kidding"
“And was it okay for you? You had fun?" you asked, referring to the party, as the two of you sat down on the leather couch. The dress you were wearing rose to the top of your thighs and his attention strayed there for a second, so he looked up guiltily; He didn't help the blush on his cheeks that there was your cleavage. 
"Everything was wonderful"
"Are you seriously not mad at me?" you insisted
"No, honey, I'm not," he laughed. You tried to ignore the fact that he had said that to you, since it wasn't something he was used to, and just smiled sheepishly, "I mean, at first I was a little, but now that I understand why you did it, I'm not anymore."
“You are already thirty… you are so old!”
"You are older than me!" he squealed, completely offended, and you responded with a laugh. Although that was true, you looked more jovial than the man, something that a variety of people had taken it upon themselves to verify.
"Now that I remember, do you want to see your gift?"
"Isn't this supposed to be my gift?" The confusion was evident in his voice and you refrained from answering, as you bolted into the room. You came back from there with a box in your hands, which you later placed on your lap with evident emotion.
“I wrapped it myself” you confessed, rather proud of yourself. You had found a piece of paper to cover with drawings of equations and small microscopes that you thought captured the essence of your friend and, of course, now that he had seen it, he had liked it a lot.
The man's fingers drummed the surface under your expectant gaze, and then he winced slightly.
"What's up?"
"I don't know, I think maybe I should open it later…"
"Spencer Reid!" you yelled. It was obvious that he was only joking with you and you knew that by the laugh that escaped his lips. 
Your friend opened the box almost ceremonially and then removed the tissue paper that covered the contents: above all there were two hardcover books, one about the world of fungi and the other about poetry, next to it an hourglass, then three boxes with jigsaw puzzles, a pocket chess game, packets of Reid's favorite sweets, and last but not least, a picture of the two of you in a pretty chocolate-colored frame and a little paper envelope to go with it. One by one he was taking out the gifts and his smile only grew with each object, while he felt his heart grow with love.
"I remember this day" he murmured, referring to the photograph you had chosen. The sky was blue behind you and you were kissing Spencer's cheek, who was smiling at how spontaneous it had been “We were in a park after going to an art exhibition."
“And we bought the most delicious ice cream in the world”
"I differ, I've had better," he murmured, shrugging. The truth is that you thought that the ice cream had been delicious because of the whole panorama of that day, not so much because of the taste itself.
Spencer knew that photo would have to go on his desk in the bullpen, although the taunts he was sure the others would throw at him. Perhaps having you there would serve as a reminder that there was good in the world, despite everything he could see on the job every day. 
“Oh, and I read somewhere that hourglasses help people with anxiety because it's relaxing to watch the sand fall so they can focus on it. I thought you might like it, I bought it at an antique store."
"It's very nice" he agreed, turning the object over and checking that it actually worked "I'll open the note, okay?"
Spencer always preferred that you read his letters in private because if he saw your face and knew you were reading those words he would just cringe, but you didn't seem to share that trait so you agreed to his request. As with the box, he carefully opened the envelope and then pulled out a handwritten note.
I hope you like these little gifts that try to express a huge love.
Never doubt that you are making a change in the world and that you are surrounded by people who love you, including your old neighbor who now ironically lives too far from you. 
Happy 30th birthday to my favorite person in the entire world. I am confident that many more years will come for both of us.
Always yours, Y/N.
"Don't cry, Reid" you asked gently, feeling your own tears at the edge of your eyes. Spencer smiled and leaned in your direction to wrap you in a hug so hopefully you wouldn't notice if he got emotional.
"Thank you" was the only thing he managed to say. 
He wanted to thank you not only for that day but for years of friendship, years of feeling like he wasn't so alone in the world if he had you by his side and even thank you for treating him like a normal kid when no one else did. And as always, you perfectly understood what he was referring to.
You stayed like that for a few minutes; Spencer tucked into the crook of your neck and cooing at the throbbing on your pulse line, and you basking in the warmth of the contact.
“Did you like the puzzles?” 
"Yeah! They are great” he replied, as he moved away from you so that he could observe you “Do you want us to put one together?”
“Sure” you smiled “Just let me put on my pajamas and I'll be right back, okay?”
"Good. You look very beautiful in that dress, by the way. I don't know if I forgot to tell you” he flattered you, making you smile sincerely. 
"You chose it, remember?"
Before getting up you kindly squeezed his cheek and after changing your clothes you returned to where you were. He had chosen the puzzle with the design of a Monet painting and spread it out on the floor, where the two of you settled comfortably.
Your friend took a bunch of pieces and you took another and you guys worked in silence until little by little things started to come together. He was very good at the task and very soon he already had a considerable part assembled; although you were going a little slower you followed a constant rhythm. 
"Hey, Spencer"
"Yeah?" he asked, too intent on finding a place for the piece in his fingers to watch you.
“What was your birthday wish? When blowing out the candles”
"Oh, I didn't wish for anything"
"Why?" you asked confused.
Spencer looked up from the puzzle and smiled at you.
"Because my birthday wish was already right here"
It seemed obvious to him, but it took you a second to understand exactly what he meant and when you finally did, your eyes gave him the sweetest look of all.
You and your friend stayed up all night until the play was over and after that you both stumbled to bed, where you fell fast asleep in each other's arms.
At some point Spencer half-opened his eyes, prisoner of a bad dream, and when he was aware of the situation he felt the peace he needed. After that it didn't take him long to get back to sleep, with a smile on his face and his whole world held in his arms.
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taglist: @navs-bhat @reidwritings @tricia-shifting14 @spencerslove
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yunhoszn · 24 days
Text
horses are still overrated
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pairing jeong yunho x f!reader word count 2k genres fluff﹒smut warnings 18+ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT, mature language, established relationship, mentions of voyeurism, dirty talk, marking-ish, mutual masturbation, kissing, slight cum eating shhhhh don’t say anything, pet names: baby, babe, princess
summary new relationships always have room for experimenting, and well, you and yunho are no exception.
more ok so i tried doing these in ask format but i didn’t like it so we’re back to our regularly scheduled programming with a little update :P anyway,, this was for this request! it’s meant to be an extension of save a horse, ride a cowboy but can totally be read as a standalone! i kinda strayed from the initial req, but i hope this is still good… it’s still yunho day so <3 ALSO @bro-atz thank u for betaing my love i appreciate u so big!! pls reblog if u enjoyed!
@atzhouse
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The few weeks that have passed since you and Yunho have confessed to each other have been nothing short of blissful. 
He makes you feel like you’re soaring, ensuring that your happiness is the top priority. He embraces you in a way that’s not only physical, but emotional too. Like his feelings for you are their own special hug of warmth that envelopes you when you need it most. You could never get tired of him, could never return to your life back home like this summer never happened. 
Because in all honesty, this summer was the best thing that could’ve ever happened to you. 
You have a small smile on your face as you reminisce about the wonderful time you’ve spent here so far, leaning back into the bench on the farmhouse porch. Initially, you were sitting here to openly gawk after Yunho as he rounded up the cattle, but now you were too giddy to pay attention to that. You don’t notice him walking towards you directly, Yeoreum tailing behind him. 
“What’s got you so cheesy today?” 
You blink at his question, feeling a bit bashful. You’ll never get used to this view. “I was just thinking about us, and how happy you make me.”
“That’s cute,” he mirrors your expression, one hand on the back of the bench to hold his weight and the other coming up to cup your jaw, lips pecking yours gently. “Ready for dinner?”
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“I have a confession to make,” you start as you’re washing the dishes after dinner. 
“What’s up?” Yunho asks you from the other side of the kitchen, putting away the leftovers. He shuts the refrigerator and leans against it, arms crossed over his chest. You swallow thickly. 
“I’ve just had this on my chest for so long and I need to get it off before I explode,” you ramble, avoiding his eyes as you scrub a plate. “Promise you won’t judge?”
“I promise,” he chuckles, and you can hear his footsteps as he gets closer. “I won’t judge you.”
Your sigh comes out as more of a shudder, Yunho’s arms wrapping around your middle and his chin resting on your shoulder. The new proximity makes you ten times more nervous to say your piece, your heart beating erratically behind your rib cage. This is fine. This is great actually. (No it’s not!)
“Do— um— do you remember the day before Seojun and I broke up?” Your hands are trembling slightly. 
“When you gave Yeoreum a bath, right?” He nods, the movement bothering you slightly because it has his chin digging into your shoulder uncomfortably. “What about it?”
”So…” You have to pause the dishes, your hands clamming up so much that you think the handle of your sponge will fly out of your grasp. “That night, when my lightbulb went out, I actually went out to go grab you. But— uh— I saw something… else… instead…”
Your eyes squeeze shut, entirely too mortified to even think about what his reaction could be. It’s been a minute since the ordeal played out, so really you didn’t have to say anything. Part of you felt like you couldn’t continue this relationship in good conscience without being totally honest, though. 
Strong hands wrap gently around your wrists, turning you around to face him. He tsks, “Open your eyes, princess.”
His eyes are soft, no hint of disappointment or disgust on his features as he stares back at you. His lips curl into a smug smile after a couple seconds, cupping your jaw and caressing your cheek with his thumb. You blink at him, a little confused by the shift in atmosphere, but not complaining. 
“You’re not—?” 
“You watched me fuck my fist, is that right?” Yunho asks so bluntly, so vulgarly. “Tell me, what did you do after that?”
It’s easy to divert your gaze again, focusing on how interesting the material of his button up suddenly is. It’s one thing to admit that you stood there and watched for a bit, it’s another to admit you stuffed yourself with your own fingers not even fifteen minutes later. But you think he already knows that, based on your behavior and some good ol’ context clues. 
“I… I touched myself,” you whimper, ashamed of how you’re getting turned on. The worst part is the fact that he’s enjoying this. He’s enjoying the way he has you folding for him so quickly. “To the thought of you…”
Yunho’s grip on your chin tightens and his eyes flutter shut with a groan. “Fuck, baby, that’s so hot…”
You weren’t sure how this would go, and a piece of you genuinely thought he might even end things with you. Any other person would think you were sick and perverted, but not him. It makes you feel a lot better and a lot more secure in your relationship. 
Your tongue pokes out of the corner of your mouth, grazing the pad of his thumb. He hisses, cursing under his breath, letting you wrap your lips around and suck the finger. Yunho stares with not a single coherent thought behind his eyes. He’s losing his composure, pressing his thumb down on your tongue. 
“Do you think you can tell me? How exactly did you touch yourself?” He purses his lips, his free hand slipping into the opening of your overalls, dragging his finger along the exposed skin of your waist. You shake your head with a whine.
”Yun… That’s embarrassing…” 
He pulls his hand out of your overalls, hooking the digit into your belt loop and yanking you closer. His mouth is dangerously near your own, lips brushing yours when he speaks. “I wanna know. Need to picture my pretty princess fucking herself desperately ‘cause her fingers aren’t enough to get her off.”
Your legs feel like jelly, your cunt clenching around nothing just by his words alone. Yunho had always done such a good job at being the sweet and doting partner everyone wanted. He was attentive, praised you like you were a living, breathing goddess. But this dirty side of him is different. And you like it a lot more than you should.
“O-Okay…” You swallow thickly, and suddenly he’s spinning you so his chest is to your back. He urges you towards the bedroom, attaching his lips to your neck and sucking the supple skin gently, tenderly.
”Go on,” he says between kisses, still pushing you until you’re standing in the middle of his room. Your eyes already feel heavy and you haven’t done anything yet. “Tell me.”
”I— um— I thought about your hands and how big they are,” your tone is shaky, and you hope you don’t sound stupid. “Thought about how good it would feel to have them all over me. I pictured that it was your fingers inside of me. Imagined your cock, and how big it is.”
“Is that so? I’m just not getting the visual, babe. I think I need you to show me.” He hums, a hint of amusement in his voice. As if this couldn’t get more embarrassing, now he wants you to finger yourself in front of him? You’re about to protest, but he’s pressing your lower back to the mattress and talking against the corner of your mouth again, teasing you because he knows he can. “If you’re good for me, I’ll fuck you so well, you won’t be able to forget the shape of my cock.”
You nod with a whimper, hopping onto the bed and scooting all the way up to the pillows. Your hands are wobbly as you undress yourself, unbuckling your overalls and kicking them off your feet. Of course you chose the worst day to dress the part. Yunho sits at the edge, watching you with an unreadable expression. 
When you’re in nothing but your top and panties, he clears his throat, leaning back onto his palms. His tongue darts out to wet his lips. “Move your underwear to the side for me, princess. Let me see your pretty pussy.”
It’s almost impossible to hold back a moan, following his instructions. You glide your middle finger through your folds, showcasing how you’re practically dripping for him in the amount of time it’s taken you to get from the kitchen to here. He exhales through his nose, legs spreading to give you a glimpse of an uncomfortable looking bulge in his pants. 
You sigh deeply at the sight, circling your finger around your clit slowly. The thought of being the cause behind it, of getting Yunho so hot and bothered, drives you crazy and has you curling your toes. 
“Just like that,” he encourages, tossing his denim button up to the floor. He palms over his erection, tilting his head slightly. “Can you do some more for me?”
“Mhm,” is all you can manage to force out, doing what he asked. You shove your ring and middle fingers inside of yourself, finally releasing a moan at the intrusion. You keep pressure on your clit with the heel of your palm. There’s silence between you save for the occasional whine.
Yunho shivers, shimmying out of his pants so he can stroke himself freely. You gawk at him with bated breath, biting your lip as your fingers pick up their pace. There’s a knot that settles in the pit of your stomach, tightening and tightening in preparation for that special moment. 
The view of him spread out in front of you, fucking up into his hand with hooded eyes trained on your own playing with your cunt, is too much. He’s wearing that same godforsaken white tank top as he was the night you saw him, the muscles in his forearm and bicep flexing with each twist of his wrist, each pump of his cock. 
You feel like you’re drooling, ogling at him like he was a piece of meat. But you couldn’t help it. Yunho was the most attractive man you’d ever laid eyes on. The longer you stare, the further you fall. That’s a conclusion you’ve come to a little too late. 
“‘M close, Yun,” you moan, arching your back off of the pillows, head almost clunking against the headboard. “Wanna cum with you.”
“I’m almost there, too, baby,” he grunts, teeth gritted as he runs his thumb over his slit. That has a loud whine spilling from your lips, your feet digging into the mattress. You don’t know how much longer you can last. 
Your fingers try to reach that spongy, sensitive spot deep in your cunt, but you can’t. It seems that only Yunho’s long, thick fingers could accomplish that feat. No wonder you were so obsessed with his hands.
You opt for using the fingers of your free hand to swipe quickly at your clit while the others curl and thrust into you, inching you toward that steep cliff that has stars decorating your vision. Judging by the volume of his sounds getting higher and higher, you can tell Yunho’s right there with you. 
One particular absentminded curse from him has your brain short circuiting, that promise of release washing over you almost violently. Your body aches and quivers, orgasming harder than you ever had just with your own hand. (You’d like to think the presence of a certain cowboy had everything to do with it.)
He groans and follows behind shortly after, painting his hand in milky white. The two of you try to catch your breaths, laying there for a couple moments to recuperate. After a while, Yunho leans over to kiss you gently, squeezing your cheeks with his cum covered hand. You scrunch your nose. 
“You’re getting it on my face!”
“That was the goal,” he laughs, pressing another sweet kiss to your lips. You roll your eyes, licking away whatever was near your mouth. He groans again. “Fuck, are you trying to kill me? Purposely?”
“Maybe,” you shrug. “I remember being told you’d fuck me if I did good for you. Where’s my reward?”
“Trust me, I didn’t forget.”
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© yunhoszn. do not steal, claim, or repost.
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feminist-space · 5 months
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"Seminario cited the recent report, “Employer-Reported Workplace Injuries and Illnesses,” that shows that the number of respiratory illnesses in the private health care and social assistance sector increased from 145,300 in 2021 to 199,700 cases in 2022, an increase of 37.5 percent.
...
As an industrial hygienist, Seminario was extremely critical that there were no experts in respiratory protection on the committee nor did it include engineers who developed ventilation guidelines. She believes that the HICPAC committee members are likely so opposed to respirators “because once you are into recommending respiratory protection, with that comes a full respiratory protection program from OSHA,” with penalties for violations.
An epidemiologist and consultant, Michael Olesen, echoed this, believing the changes reflect “pressure to remove liability from hospitals.” He added, “I take a very clear position that we should be having respiratory protection mandates in all healthcare settings right now.”
...
Many patients who spoke at the HICPAC meetings said they had gotten Covid-19 when they went to the hospital and that the new policies were keeping them from getting care.
Given that, Dr. Art Caplan, professor of medical ethics at New York University’s Grossman School of Medicine, previously told me that dropping masking requirements in hospitals is “utterly, completely, irresponsible.” Similarly, staff refusing to mask, even when a patient requests it, is a moral failure. “The first principle is, you must do what is in the best interest of your patient,” he said.
...
Several people were asked why they believe HICPAC is determined to water down protections. Consistently, respondents say, “to reduce liability.” Earlier in the pandemic, hospitals regularly tested patients and staff for Covid-19, and you could often tell where and how you became infected. Since staff are no longer masking and continue working when ill, and patients are not being tested on admission, you can no longer prove who infected you. Hospitals are the only ones who win in this scenario, absolving themselves of responsibility and liability."
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honeydazai · 1 month
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ok ok but hubby Fyodor gave me an idea, he’s figured out i get worried when his anemia gets bad so i fuss over him
imagine like,,, him using that against u. like if he’s losing an argument, or he just wants attention, he fakes sickness to get u to drop everything ur doing and come to his aid, u immediately feel bad so he uses that to manipulate u
feat.: Fyodor / reader
content: husband Fyodor, some manipulation but it's cute, Fyodor pretending to be a pathetic meow meow, fluff, sick fic
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Fyodor is fragile, that much you're aware of.
Despite his quick mind, so sharp you reckon it could cut diamond, and his powerful ability, his physical body is still frail. His skin is pale, most likely since he spends too much time inside, hunched over in front of his many PC screens, providing him with no light other than the gloom of LED monitors, thin fingers tip-tapping away on the keyboard. His undereye circles are dark enough for you to seriously worry about his health, and the many blue veins visible on thin eyelids only make him appear more sickly.
The anemia doesn't help, either; thin lips occasionally turn whiteish the longer he insists he's going to take his iron supplements once he's done with work — when is he, ever? — and his nails, kept short not only for the sake of being able to play the cello, but also since he continued biting at them, are coloured blue so often you have almost forgotten what they usually look like.
Fyodor, despite being an internationally wanted terrorist, is fragile, and that's exactly why you're unable to stop the way your chest suddenly aches with concern when he goes quiet mid-argument, gaze unfocused, glassy, as he sits down on the bed.
This really isn't the time to worry about him, especially since, just a few moments ago, you were snarling at him, obviously angered for a reason that seems entirely unimportant right now — and yet you can't help it either, your concern an emotion that blooms in your chest so very naturally, given just how much he means to you.
“Are you alright?” The words leave your mouth before you know it; your brows furrowing as you kneel down next to him, one hand on his thin upper arm. Even through the fabric of his shirt, his skin is cold. “Do you need anything?”
“I'm quite alright, dear. I would hate to bother you, especially when you still seem to harbour disdain for me.”
Even his voice sounds frail. Guilt gnaws at your every bone.
“That's not—”, you protest, a feeble attempt, though you're quick to swallow the urge to start another argument down the moment he rests his head against the wall, eyes fluttering shut, ebony lashes against snow pale skin. “I don't 'harbour disdain' . I didn't even want to fight with you, it just — happened, but that's not important now. Let me help. Did you take your meds today?”
“Not yet, I'm afraid”, Fyodor says softly, and you're up on your feet almost immediately, making your way towards the kitchen to snag the offending pills, as well as a glass of water.
“You know you're supposed to take them daily with lunch.”
“That is merely to avoid forgetting them, to build a habit. The presence or absence of sustenance has no actual effect on them.”
Your eyes narrow. Fyodor allows a tired chuckle to leave his lips.
“Alright. I will try to take them regularly — for you, dear.”
Where, just a few minutes ago, you felt the urge to slap him with wrath — not that you ever would, not that you'd dare to, but the desire certainly is there whenever he acts all high and mighty, all-knowing, even around you —, your chest now tingles with warmth, with fondness. With love.
“Thank you. Are you feeling better already?” That's to be doubted, especially since he only took the pills a moment ago. Still— “Do you need anything? Maybe something to eat — yes, I bet you haven't eaten anything in a while now, too focused on work. You're impossible. Just lie down and give me a moment, I'll be right back.”
With those words, you vanish into the kitchen, already grabbing some vegetables. A quick soup is going to have to do.
Little do you know that, while you're busy worrying and fussing over him, there's a smile playing over Fyodor's lips ever so often, vanishing the moment you enter the room once more.
You really are too easy — though that's exactly what makes you quite this lovable.
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OH. Oh, he would.. he so would... this is the most in character take ever...
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mwapollo · 2 months
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It's safe to say that Grian's had enough.
All his labour is fruitless. He doesn't sleep, he doesn't eat much, too; his wings hurt from the lack of movement. He looks terrible: he hasn't shaved since he started fishing regularly. But it isn't necessary, really: he only sees his mirrored image in the river waves.
Besides, the only people he talks to are his nearest neighbours, or those who come to see the fool by the river.
Mumbo hasn't visited him once.
The last time they've met it all went... terribly wrong. So Grian decides to visit Mumbo himself -- humbly: the last prank was quite enough. Humbly, as an old friend would.
As Grian approaches, he sees Mumbo pulling a diamond out of his pocket-- and burning it.
Grian: What-- did you just do??? Mumbo: Hi, Grian. Well, I have... kind of a new practice. Grian: Throwing money around? Mumbo: Burning a diamond every time a bad thought comes up.
Grian: …
Huh, that's new.
Grian: You aren't glad to see me? Mumbo: No, no, I'm-I'm-- glad. It's just that you have a… um. Your beard is overgrown. It hurts to see it.
There is too much in Grian: shock, indignation, and at the same time there's apathetic acceptance, which he has managed to get used to during this month of disappointments. Ren told him about it the other day -- but Grian didn't expect to feel this on his own skin.
Many hermits say that Mumbo's changed.
Grian: …huh. You know, I actually came to you to show it off.
Mumbo sighs loudly and burns another diamond.
Mumbo: I'm sorry, friend, this is unbearable. Grian: Don't be. I understand. But you'll get used to it. As i did for looking at this…
Grian looks up.
Grian: … this thing. Mumbo: --What? Grian: Well, it's-- it's kind of your base, right? It just seems to me that your old projects were better. At least they fit into the landscape.
Mumbo: …
It doesn't take long for him to burn another diamond, and Grian smiles with satisfaction subtly.
Mumbo: Right. I get you. You don't have to continue this. What did you want? Grian: Oh, no-no. How many diamonds do you have there? Is there at least ten more? Mumbo: I said you don't have to continue this. I'm sorry for what I said about your... new look. Grian: This is your new practice, isn't it? Go on. Look at me a little longer, maybe you'll burn a few more? Mumbo: Grian! Grian (laughing): Come on, come here. I can kiss you, if you want to be the poorest hermit.
Mumbo stares at him, quietly. Grian giggles with a sound of lump in his throat.
Grian: I wanted to talk to my-- old friend, but it seems he's not here at the moment. Please tell him that I miss him when he comes back.
He's been carrying his feelings for so long; every time Grian hopes that this time will be different -- and it's different now. But not how he ever imagined it.
It's not how it was, too. And it's started way before Ren's failure. Was it in the caves, as other hermits told him? Or when the new world has just been created? Or...
But it's not how it was back then. Grian knows it: somenting's different. Is it his fault, is it Mumbo's fault? And why--
Why had they been waiting for each other for a gruelling year if they don't even see each other now? When they meet, as distant neighbours -- why cannot they look in each other's eyes?
Grian: Well, goodbye then.
Mumbo looks away, pretending to do something with his tools.
Mumbo: Goodbye. And sorry again.
Grian leaves him.
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bella-goths-wife · 1 month
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How the yandere Vs treat pet reader like an adult and child
Val, vox and velvette x platonic reader
Just a quick reminder that Vs pet died at the age of 18 and is technically an adult and has had adult experiences before she died but compared to everyone else in age shes much younger and they see her as a kid :)
Warnings: SA mentions, Vs sexualising pet reader, drugging, reader is uncomfortable, forced affection
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How they treat you like a child:
You may have been legally an adult when you died, but that does not stop the Vs from infantilising you at any opportunity
You will have extremely strict rules put in place once they become obsessed with you, even if they regularly defy the rules themselves
You have a curfew that you must abide by and be back on the tower for, unless of course one of the Vs sent you to do something
You are rarely allowed to leave the tower alone, if you are given permission it’s most likely because one of the Vs need something doing or you’ve asked them when they are in a good mood
Your diet is also highly controlled by them, they choose how much you eat and what you are banned from eating
You have a strict dating ban, if they see you as much as smile at a demon with slight adoration your eyes then they will be killed or fired
This includes casual hookups too, your barely allowed any contact with other demons so you could imagine their anger if they found out you were having sex with someone
Your clothing is always chosen the night before by velvette and has to be pre approved by vox to make sure it isn’t too revealing
Your very rarely allowed time to yourself and your always somehow monitored by the Vs so friendships are off the table
You are not allowed to drink or do drugs by your own choice, they say your too young for it
They ignore the fact that you were a rave girl when you were alive and that you regularly drank and did many different drugs
Vox is the one who mostly upholds your rules, since he is the one who sees you in more of a surrogate daughter way compared to how velvette sees you as a pet and Valentino sees you as a toy/therapist
But the others can be just as infantilising
Velvette constantly treats you like you know nothing because of your age and Valentino pretends to ‘shield’ you away from any friendships with his workers because your too ‘innocent’ for them
If any of them caught you pursuing something outside of them then there would be very severe consequences
Especially if it were something that allowed you to act like an independent adult
How they treat you like an adult:
Even if you have a strict curfew set by vox, velvette and Valentino will command you to defy that curfew to accompany them to events or nights out
They mostly just bring you for entertainment purposes for themselves but sometimes they just want to not have to fetch their own drinks for the night
This drives vox crazy but the other two don’t really care and will continue to drag you away at a moments notice
You may not be allowed to leave the tower alone at all, but you can go pretty much anywhere as long as one of the Vs are with you
They’ve dragged you to bars, deals, strip clubs, anywhere you can think of
They excuse this by saying that your needed at all times so if they drag you to places that they previously forbade you from entering, it’s okay because they’re with you
Even though they have all placed a ban on you dating or having sex, Valentino has offered to get a lover for the night from one of his workers
You’ve always refused but that doesn’t stop him from offering when he’s in a good mood
He even once offered to let star in one of his films and claimed that you’d be a real hit but you declined and told vox immediately, Valentino got a very harsh scolding and beating for that one
They also make you edit the sounds for Valentino’s movies with your abilities but claimed that your much to young to be allowed to have sexual relationships
They don’t even recognise their own hypocrisy sometimes
Even if your wardrobe is pre approved by vox, sometimes for her own fun velvette will make you wear something revealing just so she can make vox angry
You could be totally uncomfortable but you’d still have to about your day with her in an outfit that showed off your chest and curves
Vox always puts his jacket on you when he sees you and demands that you go change, he also threatens anyone he sees checking you out or making sexual comments towards you
You aren’t allowed to drink or do any drugs, but they are all guilty of drugging you
Valentino always offers you mushrooms, molly or edibles if he’s having one because he finds your reactions funny whenever your desperate enough to accept
You’ve got quite a high tolerance because of how you participated when you were alive, so unfortunately you remember most of what happens to you during these times
When velvette gets bored or just has a very hectic day that she doesn’t think you can handle efficiently, she has drugged you with coke in various ways
She’d receive scoldings from vox but she’d quickly bring up that he’s guilty of similar crimes
Sometimes when vox finds himself being soft and wanting to have some type of father daughter affection with you, he’ll give you an edible without your knowledge to make you more pliable to his affection
All of them have slipped sleeping pills into your drink before to make you stop being rebellious and just go to sleep
You don’t understand how they can treat you like you are an innocent kid at one moment and then acknowledge your age but use it as a weapon against you
The Vs crave the control that these rules bring, they want to know that they have the final say on every aspect of your existence
No matter how they view their obsessions over you, you are theirs to treat or mistreat how they choose
They don’t care about your feelings, they care about what you can give them
Your a possession to them, something to make them laugh or something to hold after a lonely day
You are not in control, and that’s what they like most about this arrangement
Sometimes you wonder which would be better
For them to never acknowledge that your an adult and treat you like a child, or for them to acknowledge your age and have the option to sexualise your or exploit you at any given moment
But all you can do is sit and bark on command, like the mutt they’ve trained you to be
Your body isn’t your own, your soul isn’t your own, your appearance isn’t your own and your mind isn’t your own
And that’s what terrifies you most and what they crave most of all.
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Tag list so far :)
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