#and he hurt us for the dumbest reasons too !! who the hell whips their kid with a genuine whip for using a single match | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

beanghostprincess · 5 months

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there's just something so inherently poetic and romantic about zoro's devotion to luffy during all of wano that makes me go completely insane.

he sees luffy for the first time in like a week, which might not seem much but for them, who are used to feeling each other's presence all the time and did not have a good experience with being separated, it's torture to not be together. so of course they go all happy, kicking their feet and blushing when they reunite. then his captain is like "hey, this is tama. tama is our friend now" and zoro takes it extremely seriously and protects that random kid he has no connection to because luffy says so and, well, because she's just a kid and everything, but still i think zoro instantly accepting to adopt tama is really cute.

zoro acts like luffy's enabler during this arc, because his captain might do the most impulsive and reckless shit, and the dude will support him to death. even when he's just competing against kid and law to see who's stronger (or the dumbest), luffy is the most serious he's ever been here. of course, zoro has some moments of "okay, gotta stop this idiot" but it turns out zoro is fucking stupid too, and getting into a fight in the middle of a party while you look for your captain is just,,, so them.

and all of this is just silly moments that make you think "oh, okay, zoro is whipped, yes. we already knew that". but then he pulls the most romantic and poetic things we've ever witnessed in anime history and honestly, i fucking lose it every time he does things like this.

drake goes to them and asks if he can be on their side (btw dude could have just told luffy he knew koby somehow but okay) and zoro instantly goes 'protective first mate' mode and says "haha no the fuck you're not. disloyal people are the worst and you'll always be like that. once you betray someone there's no going back" which is something i love about zoro because, even if from his perspective drake was actually a member of kaido's crew and they're supposed to be the bad guys, zoro respects loyalty so fucking much that he doesn't care whose side are you on as long as you have your priorities and beliefs on the right place. i find that beautiful, especially knowing what comes next.

zoro is gifted a sword that theoretically could cut hell, to then being then perceived as the king of hell for the same reason, and then actually going to the battlefield and referring to it as hell itself because they're fighting to death against two emperors and saying "if you're sending our captain to hell, you'll have to take me with him" because he would quite literally go to hell for luffy. and then the guy goes and tells law "hey, this is going to hurt like a bitch and i might probably die. if that happens, you know, just take care of the rest because luffy trusts you too" and he goes and awakens his conqueror's haki without even meaning to and not even giving a single fuck when kaido tells him because his only ambition and will at the moment is protecting luffy and fighting for him. that, and also the countless times he saves luffy without hesitation during this fight, which are too much to remember but i swear every time he gets in between one of kaido's attacks and luffy, my heart does a backflip and i die. and also, the gentleness in which zoro treats luffy when he can't fight. the way he protects him when luffy puts all of his undying trust on zoro. they make me go wild.

the fact that luffy is constantly saying in this fight (and always, of course) that he's going to be the pirate king and showing it clearly with all of his parallelisms to roger, and then zoro pulling things that make him quite obviously the king of hell, just makes the whole "captain and first mate" thing seem so little for what they actually are. because we have 3 different couples of this kind in this story, and nobody compares to these two, because they're not just a captain and his first mate, they're literally kings. and i haven't watched more (i'm on episode 1030 if you're curious, uta time!) but i'm so excited to see how this develops. especially knowing the religious undertones behind whatever the fuck gear fifth is supposed to be (except for a lil cute and powerful af looney tune).

#anyway i love the way they love #and this is just ZORO's POV #imagine the way luffy acts too around him in wano #i could talk for hours about the amount of trust luffy has on zoro #they're gonna be the death of me #one piece #roronoa zoro #monkey d luffy #zolu #wano

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a-random-weeb · 7 months

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HIIIII COULD I PLEASE REQUEST BSD MEN WITH A REALLY UNHINGED/ENERGETIC LOVER PLSPLSPLS I LOVE YOUR WRITING TYSMMMMM

Alright, that sounds really fun!

Characters: Dazai, Chuuya, kunikida

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Dazai:

•You both actively get into trouble

•You two piss kunikida off like there is no tomorrow

•Both of you team up to absolutely destroy his sanity (sorry kunikida)

•He does worry about how unhinged you are sometimes

•Ome day you're both watching the news and it's like

"69 people died, very tragic"

•AND YOU JUST LOOK AT HIM WITH A WEIRD ASS FACE

"Hehehe, 69" 😭

•Bro looks at you like 'huh?!'

•He stays silent while probably trying not to laugh

•He knows you'll do anything he dares you to, so he always dares you to do the dumbest things

•You even made a whipped cream snowman in the ADAs toilet

Ranpo went to use the bathroom and screamed so loudly at the whipped cream that kunikida ran into the bathroom to see what was wrong. He immediately knew it was. He was not pleased. He sprinted to find you and Dazai's dumbasses, and then scolded you guys for an hour. Dazai and you definitely turned everything one of this sentences dirty

"He could have got scared and fell and hurt himself!"

"How do you know he's not into pain?"

‎•♡˚+‎・‎•♡˚+‎・‎•♡˚+‎・‎•♡˚+‎・‎•♡˚+‎・‎•♡˚+‎・‎•♡˚+‎・‎•

Chuuya:

•Hes so scared your gonna die 😭

•He never lets you out if his sight

•Yells at you for everything

•Though, he does find your energy very cute

•Hell never admit that though

•I think he probably highers a 'bodyguard', or so he calls it but they're more like a babysitter 😭

•Bro does not trust you

•He doesn't let you cook out of fear you'll burn yourself or stab yourself (I actually stabbed myself in the leg by falling on a knife. I'm not kidding, ask my roommate @ginandginny, it was gushing blood)

•He loves you too much to let you get hurt

•He also carries you everywhere, because if he doesn't you're probably off doing something weird

"No. Do not eat that knife. Do not attempt to." Chuyya says firmly after your friend dared you to eat the knife

"But I have to follow the rules of truth or dare"

"I didn't think you would actually try!" Your friend shouts, trying to defend herself

"Put. The. Knife. Down." He glares and prys the knife away from you. You try to grab it away from him, so he grabs you by the waste and holds you to him so you can't move, setting the knife down. You're flustered but have to much energy to freeze up, so you try get away, but if course he's 100× stronger than you. He chuckles and leans in for a kiss but then your friend clears there throat. You both feel embarrassed.

∆~°^∆~°^∆~°^∆~°^∆~°^∆~°^∆~°^∆~°^∆~°^∆~°^∆~°

kunikida:

"That was irresponsible and immature"

"It wasn't THAT bad..."

"He was in forth grade!"

You stick your tongue out at him as he shoots you a glare. You had just beat up a kid over half a bag of skittles ←(Based off real events.... you don't wanna know, I promise I'm mature 😭). To be fair, the kid was rubbing the fact that he had candy in your face. Kunikida sighs "You're an idiot, do you want someone to call the cops on y-" you kiss him on the lips. Why? To shut him up and piss him off. He kisses you back and things get heated. I'll let you imagine the rest ;)

(What I meant by based off real events was when I was in grade 6, there was this grade 4 piece of shit who had half a bad of skittles, I asked for one and he said no, then proceeded to rub it in my face that he had skittles and I had nothing! I used to have worse anger issues than I do now, so I may or may not have beaten him up....)

-_°-_°-_°-_°-_°-_°-_°-_°-_°-_°-_°-_°-_°-_°-_°-_°-_°-_°-_°-

I wrote headcannons and did a whole one for akutagawa but tumblr couldn't process my post for some reason so I just put what I remembered from the kunikida one, sorry

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ideas-4-stories · 2 months

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Inspired by the "buggy gets stabbed with a seastone knife but defeats the assassin" anon and subsequent post.

Buggy really would have had SO MANY SCARS. He's immune to cuts and chops and slices. Not blunt force trauma, burns, bullets, whips, etc. Also he was a pirate apprentice on GOL D. ROGER'S SHIP!! He ate that devil fruit young, sure, but he was still a pirate before then and I highly doubt that that, nor whatever his early life was, would lead to pristine, unblemished skin.

Also - freckles. Give Buggy Freckles 2024.

Anyway, yeah, Buggy would have a MOSAIC of scars and tattoos - many of which have meanings the likes of which are lost to most. Also projection, but Buggy has a medusa tattoo somewhere on his person. Yes the one who did the tattoo for him was on the crew, and still is. Yes they are also the defacto therapist on the island. It's good pay and they get to add Names to the I'll Kill Them One Day list ((it's a whole book. With five volumes. It's on going.))

I have... an angry idea. For Buggy shrugging off seastone wounds and using his own injury as an opening. Roger would have wanted the boys STRONG but happy and safe. He saw so much of himself in Shanks that the attention was perceived as preferential treatment. Shanks was the heavy hitter with potential and skill and charisma -

Buggy was the supporting cast.

Rayleigh, unable to help Roger through the illness, through so many things, projected that onto Buggy ((Very Pearl + Connie, if you know Steven Universe, before Steven stepped in to set that record straight)). Ray would make sure Buggy was strong enough for Shanks. He put that kid through the WRINGER, and it was arguably hell. Buggy came out stronger but also far more terrified - so much so that he struggled to even utilize that strength in any true way. Rayleigh declared it a failure. Apologized to Buggy for 'failing to make him good enough'.

This did a number on him.

One thing that lasted was his frankly unsettling tolerance to water and seastone. He still works on it, and he never quite dropped it. He always has at least one seastone earring in because it's both smth he HAS to do and also it slows down his brain a little, dulling the edge of his normal panic. Like a crystal girlie but far more literal.

This isn't his first rodeo with seastone weapons either - he may have been in the East, but he was still a decently renowned criminal with a hefty bounty. He's an old hand at this!

Still hurts like a bitch though.

He'd absolutely make the dumbest puns too. "Don't worry, I'm in STABle condition! :oD"

"You need stitches, you utter buffoon."

"That wasn't very- hnn- knife of you."

"Please pass out from bloodloss."

"You cut me so deep, Hawkyyy- OW?!"

"Seas save me"

Crocodile is fighting between yelling louder, committing three felonies, laughing, and shutting the clown up. Be it by choking him or kissing him is up for debate. The doctor, used to Buggy's antics, just hands him a fidget toy. "Don't touch the wound, my supplies or try to move yet. Solve the rubix cube before you even consider getting up."

"Boring-"

"I'll tell the kitchen to make hotdogs if you do."

Buggy is now very focused on the pretty color cube.

Oh, referring to this post gotcha!

Yeah, Buggy totally would because he’s a chemist, working with all those bombs and the guy looks like he would trip sometimes while working. Buggy has to have burn scars (I’m pretty sure somewhere, someone said that Buggy has star-shaped, firework burns on his hands. Part of the reason he hides his hands away, I like that idea even that means Buggy got hurt) Now it an idea that I got when I was half-asleep, that I read in the morning with confusion… a cannonball… I don’t why my sleepy brain decided that, but now thinking about it would have to be a ricochet cannonball that he survived from (to be honest Buggy seems like a person who would survive a cannonball to the head, like some Monkey family we know) Then with probably the logical route of bullets, whips, etc… are from being hunted by marines and enemies of the Roger Pirates before he somehow blends into the background and people forgot about him.

I would say Buggy would have eaten his devil fruit around nine years old, for the AU I’m trying to writ… Also freckles… HELL FUCK YEAH!!! I love that idea; it would be so cute on him!!! Scattered all around his body, totally seen him connecting them into shapes and patterns when he’s bored and has nothing else to do.

Definably, he’s a pirate, of course he has many scars, and Buggy having at least 10 tattoos ranging from large too small. I don’t think Buggy ever has sat someone down to explain them, or maybe he has and stopped because people not understanding. Ooooooo, I look up what the Medusa tattoo means, I like to think it’s for survival and strength. With my idea for two long tattoos, I think they would be a mixture of different flowers with hidden things between them - like hidden treasure to find, those tattoos have meanings as well as some funny ones around his body as well. Because it’s Buggy, of course, he will at least have one fucking funny one.

I love an idea their defacto therapist, I think I’ve already have a OC for the job and yes, love the book called I'll Kill Them One Day list. Love that it has five volumes, you know some of those names are crossed off and it continues to grow.

This is an angry idea indeed, poor Buggy… as we see that Buggy is not supporting cast, with his followers (they are like cult followers in a way) and his crew. Basically pushed to the side for Shanks to be the one in the spotlight as the “leader” of the two (I definitely doubt that Shanks didn’t look up to Buggy during sometimes when they were cabin boys)

Oh fuck, no wonder why Buggy hasn’t talk to Rayleigh and makes my idea of them meeting as cold and awkward. Like Rayleigh would greet with nicknames from long ago, expecting the same as what he remembered last of Buggy, only to have Buggy to greet him coldy. Either, with Dark King Rayeleigh or Slivers Rayleigh instead of nicknames that he use to call Rayleigh.

Why…why projected his problems onto Buggy! Like of course that did a number on Buggy, ecspeaily after Ray apologized to Buggy for ‘failing to make him good enough’... You can’t say that to a fucking child, you know they will think it’s all their fault! I mean look at Buggy, he already has enough problems with his self-esteem, he doesn’t need anymore!!!

Poor Buggy, going thtough hell because Rayleigh wants him strong like him to keep Shanks safe because he’s being as stupid as Roger. It makes sense that Buggy can’t use his strength because of being afraid and worrying so much (Buggy is definitely a worry-wort)

I agree with Buggy has an high tolerance to water and seastone, I mean Buggy seemed to of been a really good swimmer from how angry he is from Shanks scaring him and making him swallow the Bara Bara fruit (if not, then it’s a headcanon for me that he’s a really good swimmer before he swallowed the devil fruit) You think he would just stop going into the water? I mean I can see Buggy finding those small pools of water on a beach… I forgot what they are called, anyway you think he wouldn’t go in them to feel the sea? I think Buggy would.

Oooooo a seastone earring or some other type of seastone jewelry on his body. That’s interesting, I’ve never thought about it. The seastone helps him corrals his chop chop powers from doing all the time as well. Calming his brain, dulling the edge of his normal panic is a clever way, bro probably found how much seastone he needs to do so. From this post, Buggy has to have some edibles mixed into brownies or some other type of pastry (it’s now a headcanon for me) Dude has to have some drugs to calm down with the stress that Crocodile and Mihawk have put him through.

Yeah, it's definitely not Buggy’s first rodeo with seastone weapons, I can see Buggy being hunted by people during the time after Roger was killed and I see that’s the time where most of his seastone wounds came from. I wonder now if Buggy hordes the seastone weapons that people attacked him with?… I’ve decided yes, Buggy would keep them.

I stand for Buggy making the dumbest and baddest puns when he is hurt, especially when he gets attacked by seastone weapons. It takes his mind off of the pain they give him (Also the banter between Buggy and Mihawk you made is chefs’ kiss)

Both Crocodile and Mihawk just being done with Buggy and quite disturbed by how Buggy handles his pain. Mihawk wants him to shut up and sit still, while Crocodile is fighting between screaming, committing felonies (like he hasn’t committed felonies more than enough), laughing his ass off, then wanting to either choke Buggy or kiss him to shut the clown up. That’s so them, and Buggy is getting a little shit like always.

This doctor is just like the doctor OC; Kuo-Lee, I’ve created to be the Buggy Pirates medic. Really, being done with what Buggy does and uses things to keep him still. This is so right, handing him a fidget toy, saying that if he is good than he’ll tell the kitchens to give their captain is favorite food. Yeah, that will make Buggy sit as still as he can, to be honest, Buggy isn’t one to sit still.

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winderrific-moved · 3 years

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ahh yeah there it is.

#wind howls #trauma tornado #abuse #child abuse #not my dad giving the 'break the cycle' talk like he didnt beat the shit out of us because his own dad beat him too lmao #and he hurt us for the dumbest reasons too !! who the hell whips their kid with a genuine whip for using a single match ???#fucking whatever. i already know im breaking the cycle. im gonna treat my own kids with more love than ive ever received.#my kids are gonna love life. theyre going to live happy because ill do everything for that to happen !!!! fuck my parentz

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makeste · 6 years

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BnHA Chapter 039: Deku VS Todoroki 2 - Flashback Boogaloo

Previously on BnHA: Todoroki and Izuku began their one on one! Todoroki blasted ice attacks at Deku and Deku broke up each one with mini One for All finger smashes. Todoroki’s right side slowly froze up, but meanwhile Deku went through all five fingers on his right hand and then proceeded to blow up his entire fucking left arm. You’d think this would have been the end of it, but no, this motherfucker then went and busted out another smash through his already-mangled right hand. Rather than going into shock at this point like a normal person, Deku fucking screamed at Todoroki to use his full power, because apparently he wants to die in the most spectacular way possible. I don’t even know.

Today on BnHA: Everyone just sits back and watches while Deku destroys his own body in his crazed attempts to get Shouto to use his left side. It’s not fun. Then Shouto starts having flashbacks to his horrifying past. This is even less fun. Basically no one is having a good time here. But eventually something in Shouto clicks when Deku yells at him that his power is his own. And then Shouto finally fires up his left side. So that part at least is fun, but the rest of it has me needing some damn blood pressure medication you guys.

(As always, all comments not marked with an ETA are my unspoiled reactions from my first readthrough of this chapter. I’ve read up through chapter 91 now, so any ETAs will reflect that.)

oh my god literally the first panel is a baby Shouto POV of his mom

I don’t know if I’m ready for this chapter guys

“when did I forget what came after that?” oh my god. is it so bad his mind blocked the memory for self-preservation reasons or something

Todoroki is really mad that Deku would suggest something so absurd as him using his full power. I assume Deku is going to tell him something similar to the “you’re not your dad” thing that he already said to Endeavor earlier

seriously Shouto, you can use your full power and still piss your dad off

now he’s really mad and he’s charging right at Deku

that’s maybe not the best plan

meanwhile Bakugou is watching intently and it’s so cute I have to post the panel

you go ahead and take your notes kiddo. you’re gonna need ‘em if you end up having to battle him yourself

now that they’re up close Deku is using the microwave trick again!

BUT HE’S STILL USING HIS RIGHT ARM. WHAT GOOD IS THE MICROWAVE TRICK IF THE ARM’S ALREADY FUCKED UP

PLEASE DON’T PUNCH HIM WITH A CLOSED FIST WITH YOUR BROKEN HAND, I MAY ACTUALLY FAINT OH MY GOD

I HATE YOU SO MUCH RIGHT NOW DEKU!!!!!!

has Horikoshi ever broken any of his bones?!! COME BACK AND WRITE THIS SCENE AGAIN AFTER YOU’VE BROKEN A BONE, ASSHOLE. COME BACK AND TELL ME THAT HE CAN FUCKING DO THAT AND NOT FALL DOWN SOBBING AFTERWARDS

the only possible explanation I can come up with is that he’s somehow completely hopped up on the adrenaline of it all and isn’t actually feeling the full pain just yet

but he SHOULD be, because that’s the body’s way of telling him, “DON’T FUCKING PUNCH ANYONE WITH THIS HAND YOU COLOSSALLY STUPID FUCK!!!”

anyway, Todoroki is FLYING ACROSS THE RING, but DEKU SHOULD BE FUCKING DEAD AND NOW I’M JUST MAD, DAMN IT

whoever wins this match has to fight either Shiozaki or Iida next, depending on who wins their match (probably Iida). and then after that, either Bakugou or Tokoyami (probably Bakugou). but I don’t know if either of these guys will actually be up for that at this rate

I can’t believe it, but Todoroki actually doesn’t look too good. just use your stupid left side already, Shouto

JESUS CHRIST CAN WE GET AN ACTUAL RESPONSIBLE ADULT OUT HERE??? ANYONE?? AIZAWA????

he’s agreeing with my hypothesis that Deku is so hopped up on adrenaline that he’s not feeling the full pain of what he’s doing to his body. and he’s already done so much damage that it can’t all be fixed in a single healing session. that’s what I’ve been fucking saying

should they stop the match? ABSOLUTELY. will they stop the match?? FUCKING WHAT DO YOU THINK

fucking hell, even Aizawa and All Might are just watching in awed admiration

SUPERHEROES ARE THE FUCKING WORST

Deku’s gonna be in the hospital for a fucking month and ALL OF THIS IS ON YOU SADISTIC FUCKS

ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAIIIIINED

oh my god finally

YOU SHOULD NEVER HAVE BEEN ABLE TO MAKE A FIST IN THE FIRST PLACE. BUT OKAY. YEESHHH

now he’s... biting... his thumb...

aaand that’s another smash

this is fucking horrifying. I’m not enjoying this at all, not even gonna pretend. it’s just absurd to me at this point that they would let this keep dragging out. I hope this inspires a series of rule changes to future sports festivals to lessen the risk of children doing irreversible damage to their bodies all for the sake of a fucking exhibition match

Shouto asks why Deku is going this far and Deku says he’s “just trying to meet expectations”

All Might you need to sit down with this boy after this and explain where he’s supposed to draw the line in this regard. like, when you did the plus ultra thing? that was for a good cause! sacrificing yourself to save other people’s lives! but he’s just doing it because he has something to prove and it’s the dumbest fucking thing, ugh

sorry guys, I might be bitching about this the entire chapter if this keeps up

“I want to be a smiling, dependable, cool hero!” Deku fucking shrieks

then you might want to step back about twenty feet and take a good long look at what you’re doing so far to accomplish those goals, Deku. because right now, “smiling” and “dependable” are not the words that come to mind

OH MY GOD!!!

BABY SHOUTO WITH NO SCAR!!!

RED ALERT. GOT MY BOX OF TISSUES OUT. ICE CREAM IN THE FREEZER AND ASMR PLAYLIST CUED UP ON YOUTUBE IF I NEED SOMETHING TO CALM ME DOWN AFTER THIS SHIT

Deku says he can’t begin to imagine what Shouto’s experiences have been like or how fierce his determination must be, but...

oh my god more flashbacks oh my god oh my god

(ETA: adding this note a couple years after the fact to warn people reading these recaps for the first time that my initial reaction to the full Shouto backstory was kind of intense. I really blew up at Rei in particular because without getting into any detail, that scene hit close to home for me in regard to some experiences I had while growing up. so I kind of projected a bit without meaning to. anyway, please see here for the “part 2″ version of this post, and fwiw Rei is now one of my favorite characters.)

THIS CHAPTER IS MAKING ME SO FUCKING ANGRY I’M GONNA FUCKING HULK OUT. SHIT. FUCKING SHIT

SHOUTO’S SCREAMING AT DEKU TO SHUT UP AND I FUCKING AGREE. YOU JUST SAID YOURSELF THAT YOU DON’T KNOW THE HALF OF WHAT HE’S BEEN THROUGH AND NOW’S REALLY NOT THE TIME TO START FUCKING PREACHING AT HIM OVER WHETHER OR NOT HE’S SERIOUS ABOUT HIS GOAL

NOW BABY SHOUTO IS HUGGIN’ HIS MOM AND SAYING THAT HE HATES DADDY AND DOESN’T WANT TO BE LIKE HIM

BECAUSE HIS DADDY “BULLIES” HIS MOMMY OH MY GOD

HE KEEPS REPEATING THAT HE DOESN’T WANT TO BE LIKE THAT

WHY DID WE HAVE TO HAVE THIS STUPID FLASHBACK. I WANNA GO HOME

I KNOW IT’S MY FAULT!! I ASKED FOR ANGST!! I KNOW!! I’M SORRY! I NEVER LEARN SOBB

SHOUTO’S MOM IS PATTING HIS HEAD GENTLY

DEKU IS SCREAMING AT SHOUTO AGAIN. STOP SCREAMING AT HIM!!!

BABY SHOUTO IS LOOKING AT THE WINDOW AT SOME KIDS PLAYING

-- THOSE ARE HIS BROTHERS?????!

AND HIS DAD SAYS NOT TO LOOK AT THEM, “THEY BELONG TO A DIFFERENT WORLD THAN YOU”

JESUS CHRIST. DID ENDEAVOR JUST WAKE UP ONE DAY AND DECIDE TO BE THE WORST??? JUST LIKE, THE WORST EVER? SINCE HE COULDN’T BE THE BEST, HE DECIDED TO BE THE WORST?!

LIKE, IF I HAD A GUN WITH TWO BULLETS AND WAS TRAPPED IN A ROOM WITH ENDEAVOR, MINETA, AND THE SKYPE VILLAIN, I WOULD SHOOT ENDEAVOR TWICE AND THEN PISTOL WHIP HIS DYING ASS UNTIL IT STOPPED TWITCHING??

NOW SHOUTO IS WALKING BY THE KITCHEN AND IT LOOKS LIKE HE’S ALREADY CRYING FROM SOMETHING (ABUSE, PROBABLY!!) AND HE’S OVERHEARING HIS MOM TALKING ON THE PHONE AND SHE’S SAYING THAT SHE CAN’T TAKE IT AND SOMETIMES THE LOOKS AT SHOUTO AND HIS LEFT SIDE AND HATES WHAT SHE SEES

WHAT A FUCKING THING FOR YOUR CHILD TO OVERHEAR!! AND I SEE A KETTLE ON THE STOVE! SHOULD I BE PREPARING MYSELF TO PUNCH MY COMPUTER SCREEN

SHE SAYS SHE CAN’T RAISE HIM ANYMORE

HE’S LOOKING UP AT HER WITH WIDE EYES

SHE’S LOOKING AT HIM LIKE... I CAN’T EVEN DESCRIBE IT. I DON’T WANT TO DESCRIBE IT OR POST IT

AND THE NEXT PANEL AFTER THAT IS HIM WITH A BANDAGE OVER HIS LEFT EYE

I HOPE SHE FUCKING WENT TO JAIL FOR FUCKING LIFE. MAN, I DON’T EVEN CARE. I HAVE ALL THE SYMPATHY FOR HER, RIGHT UP UNTIL SHE (A) LEFT HERSELF AND SHOUTO IN THAT SITUATION RATHER THAN TRYING TO REMOVE HIM FROM IT, AND THEN (B) FUCKING MAIMED HER OWN FUCKING CHILD, WHO LITERALLY HAD NO ONE ELSE EXCEPT FOR HER

I HATE THIS!!! I HATE ALL OF THIS!!!! I HATE THAT I AGREE WITH ENDEAVOR’S DECISION! I HATE THAT SHE ENDED UP PAYING FOR HIS GARBAGE BEHAVIOR! AND I HATE THAT SHOUTO IS NOW STUCK WITH HIM ALL ALONE!

AND IT SEEMS LIKE SOMETHING IN SHOUTO JUST SNAPPED FROM THAT POINT ON AND HE BECAME DETERMINED TO DEFY HIM

BACK TO THE FIGHT OMG

DEKU IS GOING FULL SHOUNEN JESUS

OH MY GOD AND IT FLASHES BACK TO BABY SHOUTO AGAIN

AND HE’S WATCHING A VIDEO, AND IT’S AN INTERVIEW WITH FUCKING ALL MIGHT

HE SAYS QUIRKS ARE PASSED FROM PARENT TO CHILD, BUT IT’S NOT JUST THAT AND “ONE MUST RECOGNIZE AND APPRECIATE ONESELF”

FUUUUUUUUUUCK

HE LOOKS SO HAPPY AND RELIEVED AND IT LOOKS LIKE HE HAS THE SAME BABY BOY CRUSH ON ALL MIGHT THAT BABY DEKU HAD

I’M JUST SO MAD AND UPSET THAT THIS WOMAN COULD HURT THIS CHILD, KNOWING FULL WELL HOW DIFFERENT HE WAS FROM HIS FATHER, HOW MUCH HE DIDN’T WANT TO BE LIKE HIM, AND HOW MUCH THE MERE THOUGHT OF IT HURT HIM

OH MY GOD AND NOW PRESENT-DAY TODOROKI LOOKS LIKE HE WANTS TO CRY

PROBABLY WHEN THE SAME WOMAN WHO SHOWED YOU THAT VIDEO LOST HER MIND AND POURED SCALDING WATER ON YOUR FACE

WELP

I just want to press pause for a sec and let you guys know that I’ve been listening to my “fight music” playlist during my readthrough of this chapter, and this scene was absolutely perfectly timed. got to this point RIGHT when I read that panel. I got so fucking fired up lol

so finally Todoroki has gotten over his stupid insistence on not using his left side! yay! I think Deku could have picked a better sort of therapy than this, personally, but hey! anyways, are you happy now dude?

you know what, forget I asked. no one cares about you

I’m just happy for this little guy:

THAT WEIRD SMILE AT THE END I CAN’T I’M FUCKING DEAD. HE LOOKS SO HAPPY AND DORKY

ALSO, WAY TO BLOW ANY CHANCE THAT BAKUGOU OR ANYONE ELSE HAD OF DEFEATING HIM LOL. MIGHT AS WELL JUST WRAP UP THIS COMPETITION NOW

(ETA: well I mean. it would’ve been true if this breakthrough had actually stuck lol)

well, Deku, you did it. you can pass out now

BONUS:

Kouda’s pure, sweet face is all the ASMR I need after this chapter that fucked up my emotions in every possible way!

gotta tell you guys, I liked his design from the start. but this?

this just seals the deal. he is in fact the best character in the whole series. THIS WHOLE TIME IT WAS KOUDA, who the fuck would have ever thought

#bnha #boku no hero academia #makeste reads bnha #midoriya izuku #todoroki shouto #endeavor #todoroki enji #'read bnha!' they said #'you're in for a ride' they said #are you fucking happy #you are aren't you

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angelfiume · 5 years

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Mouth Like A Sailor Part 3

Last part for tonight. I will be back with more if yall like it!

The morning after our little night out, I wrote a note to Sophie and Jean and left as the were still sleeping. I woulda walked back home, but Soph's house was a while from my place. I took the trail into town and waited at the bus-station for the 7 AM. The city was real quiet at this time in the morning, either everyone was just now waking up, or had just gone to sleep. Nothing was even open yet, except for the 24/7 places at the plaza, but I wasn't in any rush to get a cup of old coffee that wasn't even hot. I saw the bus come rolling down the hill, the sun was starting to rise. I handed the driver 25 cents (you only had to pay from 10 PM till 8), and kept to myself the whole ride back to my neighborhood. It was Saturday so Darry and Soda were getting ready for work and the rest of their outfit was probably gonna get to the house soon. I accidently slammed the door on my way in- a habit Darry would probably be yelling at me for the rest of my life. Steve, Soda's best friend, was lying on the couch having an awful loud conversation with Soda, who was in the shower. We smiled at each other briefly and I went to my room at the back of the house. I used to be real close to the whole gang when we were all younger, but it started getting awkward when I turned twelve and my mom gave me this long talk about how a "young lady" shouldn't be out late with "young men" and she went off the one day she walked in my old room and saw Dally and I just hanging out all innocent like. After those lectures I started hanging out more just with girls and only really spent time with my brothers' friends when they were around. It wasn't too heartbroken about it as Dal was the one I spent the most time with and he liked me a whole lot more than I liked him. Even as a kid Dally was tough and harsh and his idea of a fun game was pulling my hair and taking play-fights way to serious. He's not too bad now, now he just teases me relentlessly about my voice and tries to tell me I'm flat chested and even my ass makes me look like a boy. Which is ridiculous because I know I'm a looker and so does the rest of Tulsa, he just thinks it's cute to hurt girls' feelings is all. I got out of yesterday's clothes and cleaned off my makeup from last night. Most of the things I owned used to be my mom's when she was in college, before she had four kids. The other twenty-five percent of what I owned were actually hand-me downs from my brothers, a whole lot of that being their shoes from junior high, shirts, and a pair of soda's old 501s. I got into my mom's old hip-huggers, a black blouse, and Pony's recently out-grown converse. On my way into the kitchen for a cup of coffee I bumped into Soda who whipped around to look at me with a nervous expression, my stomach dropped, I was either in trouble or something real bad had happened overnight, Soda was rarely ever bothered.

"What? Soda, Darry didn't check to see where I was last night, did he?" I asked shakily, Darry didn't just sound scary, but he was real smart, he knew what to take away from me that I would get upset about.

"No, no but he's gonna get suspicious, Marli, you smell like you drank all night!" He whispered back at me, "You better go brush your teeth and put some perfume on or something, hell just light a smoke."

"OK,OK, thanks Soda." I ran back to my room to grab a cancer stick, I hadn't even had much to drink last night, but Soda and Darry had this odd talent for smell, I remember last week I quickly got outta a fight with Darry with some bullshit lie when he smelled pot in my car I had smoked a month before. I walked out puffing on a cigarette, which of course Darry wasn't gonna be too happy about, but rather that than alcohol. I walked out to the porch to have it, luckily before Darry even turned around to see me walk out.

"Hey Marls, you look rough, man, what's the matter with you?" A deep voice laughed from the concrete steps, "Musta been one helluva night."

"Shut-up Dal! This door is most screen, you don't think Darry won't rip my head off if he suspects something?" I snapped in a hushed voice.

Dally raised his eyebrows and took my cigarette, taking a long drag before handing it back, "Be cool, man, he's not gonna know you went all the way to that bar just cause of some smart-ass comment I made."

"Yeah? Guess so. How the hell did you even know where I was last night? Doubt you have half the dough to leave this neighborhood anyhow."

"For some reason people around here seem to think you're a real cool broad, did ya know that?" Dallas chuckled, looking up at me from the ground, "Some socy girls were yappin at the drive-in about how that Sophie was goin' all the way to Oklahoma City to see some celebrity or something, and you weren't here last night, so where else would you be?"

"Hmm, well as long as that don't get within a miles radius of the Curtis Residence, I guess that's alright." I sighed and took one last drag before heading inside.

Darry was walking around looking as stressed-out as ever, with a piece of toast in his mouth, a cup of coffee in one hand and the other trying to tuck his shirt in. Luckily, he didn't even give me half a glance, so I was pretty much in the clear. Ponyboy was sitting on the couch next to Two-bit, looking surly as ever. He was a real smart kid, but a little on the awkward side. I could tell he wasn't too confident in his steps just yet, but I didn't judge him too hard on it, I'm still figuring my place out in the world. Darry could get pissy at him a lot, and Steve wasn't too keen on him either. I hate to think it's a girl thing, but I always held a special place in my heart for kids. He was my kid brother, so he annoyed the shit outta me, but he was alright. Soda came running through the living room, looking for his DX shirt, I just can't believe he refuses to set it out for himself the night before, as every damn morning he runs around like a scalded cat looking for the damn thing. He pushed me outta his way and started around the rest of our small house. I went in to get a coffee and saw that Dal had followed me into the kitchen. I turned around to look at him, immediately my stomach did a little flip. I had seen that look before at a lot of guys' faces and it never really made me feel all flattered at shit, just kinda uncomfortable. But for Dally I changed a little, he and I had been so close as kids and even after that he hung on to our friendship more than the rest of the gang. I didn't say anything, I just walked back to my room, what could I have said? I sure as hell wouldn't be caught trying to chat him up, I knew better than that. He wasn't necessarily a player, he's only had one girl at a time and always kept her close, but he was still a dick! He didn't have a lot of respect for girls, he always did for me and the other girls he knew, but I'd like to know the guy I date doesn't embarrass girls on the street just for kicks. Not even that, but my brothers would think I'm just the dumbest little thing to walk the earth if we ever did become anything. I remember last summer, I had a short-lived fling with this 22 year old in the Army on leave, and when I told Darry, he said "Marls, I don't wanna tell you how to live your life, but c'mon don't be just another greasy girl in our neighborhood who thinks she's hot shit for getting in with older men. You're just being trashy." Usually when my brothers say stuff like that to me I don't care, cause that's what siblings do, we are SUPPOSED to hate each other, but this time it was different. He wasn't calling me trashy as an annoying older brother, he really meant it. My brothers really care about me, Soda mostly just cause he cares about everybody. But Darry will always just judge me before he stands up for me, same with Ponyboy,he can sure say a lot of shit about Darry, but at the end of the day those two are a lot more similar than Soda and I, and we're twins. I'm probably overthinking it all anyways, maybe Dallas was just being an objective jerk, but that's not the first time, nor the mildest thing, that has happened between us.

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porcelaindarlin-blog · 7 years

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Heart Broken

Prompt: “I am young. And I’m not entirely sure what a heartbreak is. But if this is what it feels like, it sucks.”

Word Count: 1,142

Warnings: sad scenes, cursing

Pairings: Steve, Sodapop, me

“Come on you can tell me who you like”. It seemed like a broken record being repeated over and over again. “Steve. I don’t like anyone.” I tried keeping a straight face through my lies. I liked him. And alot. I couldn’t hide the smiles everytime he spoke to me. The jealousy that rose in me everytime he was with her. The amount of times I just wanted to bash her in the head. Every science class. Every social studies class. All the secrets he told me about her. I thought I had a chance. I thought that me and you could maybe, JUST MAYBE have a chance. But you were too popular. You needed to maintain that. You couldn’t be seen dating someone like me. As if it was a sin. My locker sung open. I gathered my books and headed out of these doors to serenity. But I was stopped.

“Hey wait up!” someone called. I whipped around. There you were. Flashing that same smile Steve. You towered over me by a couple of inches. “Does it ever hurt to look up at people all the time short stuff?” he said obnoxiously. Even though that was the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard, I couldn’t fight the smile and small chuckle that krept on my face. But I couldn’t say anything witty back. My mind went blank. “So… Um are you gonna tell me who you like yet?”. That same ever popular question. My heart dropped. Sometimes I feel as if he already knew that I was dying in his presence.

“Noooooo. Why do you wanna know so bad huh?” I whimpered. “Gives me a reason to talk to ya.” saying with a wink. I rolled my eyes. But I loved the wink “Okay fine whatever. Are you going to the dance tonight?”

I hated dances. Because nothing ever good came out of them. 6th grade, I sat alone, in a chair. It may seem stupid but it’s embarrasing and hurts…alot. “Yea my bestfriend is forcing me.” I said pointing to the even shorter girl next to me. “Alright see you tonight then.” And with that he walked away. And I walked away but it felt like I didn’t move. Like we were still in that same moment just staring in each others eyes. But that didn’t happen. Ofcourse it didn’t happen.

Later that night, I walked through the auditorium doors. I was greeted with pop songs that weren’t talking about anything. I saw my friends. Chris, Jillian, and Audrea. They knew. They all knew my adoration for Steve. A slow song popped on. It’s lyrics talking about it’s fondness of a girl. I whipped my head towards the same seats. But then I saw you Steve. I saw you and her. Her hands wrapped around your neck and you hands on her waist. You guys were perfect. You guys grasping onto eachother as if you were going to fall into a bottomless pit. I felt the rock in my throat. I felt my eyes burn. I couldn’t move. In a room full of people dancing, I couldn’t move.

Inhale. Exhale. I sat in the chair beside Jillian. She saw my tears. “Hey whats wrong”. She said with worry in her voice.

“I just hate the fact that they are together. And I know I shouldn’t but.. Fuck it.” I said getting irritated more and more. After what seemed 10 decades, the song stopped. A number of people came over to see if I was okay. And then you came Steve. “Hey whats wrong?” you asked plotting next to me.

“Oh nothing I have really bad allergies.” “Nope she was crying” Jillian said. “Well thanks alot Jillian.” I said nudging her. “I knew you were sad when I came over here. You know you can talk to me.” Steve said getting up and making his way buffet. I sighed because I couldn’t talk to him. If only he understood.

“If you don’t tell him I will.” Jillian said getting up and leaving. I was left alone again. No one around to share my lonelyness with. I danced at a couple of songs (cotton eye joe, cubic shuffle ect.). I noticed my eyes were getting significantly red and watery. I walked out the auditorium and greeted by a few kids playing pocker. I came acrossna good friend of mines, Isabel. I sat next to her, her boyfriend Peter sitting horizontal from her.

“Hey whats wrong, you look high as hell.” Isabel said semi joking. “Shut up Im not high. The guy I like danced with another girl and I got jealous thats all.” I said still fighting back tears. “Who is it?” “…steve” I whispered in her ear.

She shrugged and went on with her pocker gang. I figured I’d freshen up a bit before I go back into the auditorium. When I came out the bathroom, a girl approached me. She was pretty; olive skin, pitch black hair. “Hey Chris is looking for you.” she said to me escaping into the crowd of music. I made my way into the crowd looking for Chris. I went up to him but Steve, you immediately walked behind me. I turned around, you having a huge grin. You knew.

I know you knew.

I backed away slowly. I felt my tears again. As if it was an endless war. I ran out the auditorium with you on my heels. I heard you calling my name but I was to scared to react. I knew you saw me crying. Jill was in the bathroom. The conversation was a mixutre of yelling and crying.

“You told him! Why the fuck would you tell him.”.

“What are you talking about?”.

“Don’t be oblivious Jill. How did he find out?”.

“Who? Find out what?”.

“HOW DID STEVE FIND OUT I LIKED HIM?”.

The door opened. A freshman walked in to use the bathroom. The silence pierced my ears. I pulled Jillian into the bathroom.

“I don’t know how he found out I didn’t tell him.”

“The who did?” I said whisper yelling.

“It could have been Chris or Audrea but I know damn well it wasn’t me.”

I sighed in defeat. It was bound to get out anyway. I looked at my phone. 10 minutes until the dance was over. I stayed in that bathroom crying for 10 minutes. Then it was finally time to go. I grabbed my jacket and we made eye contact Steve. It felt like we starred at each other for house. You had such a sad expression. I looked away and ran out the door. Once I found my mothers red jeep, we dipped off. There was nothing I wanted more out that night than to leave. A/N: all these typos that im too lazy to fix

#steve randle #sodapop curtis #the outsiders imagine #heartbroken

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georgiarynlds · 5 years

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2019

2019 has been one hell of a year. It’s been 8 months already which has flown by. The months all feel meaningless.

what has felt like an amazing year has turned quite tragic I can’t lie. Nothing is the same anymore. Everything is new, fresh and unexpected. I really do need to start expecting the unexpecting. My life is full of new chapters. Short chapters mostly but also long chapters.

In December 2018 I was a girl who was growing in confidence, I was still quite sure of myself however I was lacking in a lot of self esteem. Looking back, I was very desperate for a boyfriend. Which caught me up in some odd scenario’s- nothing anything bad though, all learning curves.

I told myself in January 2019 that I was going to strive to become the person I wanted to be. I wanted to be healthier, rid myself of the toxic people in my life, adapt myself to being myself- not copying people, get the style I want to express my unique personality. And I did. I slowly saw myself throughout the months change. January was the hardest, but I finally cut myself off from sex, and then slowly the drugs and then the friends.

In October 2018 I befriended Jo Richbell. I had done almost a year beforehand. However, we had not properly gone out we just us two. So on the 26th October we met up and went to poole. Just did the casual window shopping, grab lunch and talk. Because we related so so much!! We understood eachother like nobody. I shared my experiences on my breakup with my first ex and she shared hers. Our exes were best friends, that’s why we bonded so well on the topic. She was like a miracle. It was so cool to have someone who just understood everything like that. I felt so comfortable around her, she was funny and a lot like me too.

We didn’t meet up for a while after that until probably mid December. December was when I first went to Sam Vincent’s house. I can remember getting the bus to Jo’s and walking up that road. It felt like I was walking for hours. We walked through the Lytchett woods to get to Sam’s house who lives in Lytchett Matravers. I knew Sam already, I had spoken to him a lot of times through school as he was good friends with my boy bestie at the time Reece Groombridge. Reece and I didn’t really meet outside of school because he was a little gamer so it was more of an inside school thing. Sam and I never really got on very well so I went into his house quite open minded. Because afterall, I understood Jo so why shouldn’t I be able to get on with Sam. He’s a funny kid.

I remember going in and being a bit overwhelmed by the dogs and all. I was quite astonished in how welcoming Theresa his mum was. I noticed she was instantly one of those people who laughed after every sentence though. Sam’s house is bloody amazing if I’m honest- it’s so nice. Sam has such a cool room. I remember feeling so awkward there at first though. We all were instantly offered hot chocolates. And me being me, I was unsure because I didn’t really like hot chocolate. But I said yes- not to be rude and you never know, I might like it. Now- let me tell you. Theresa does the BEST not chocolates, nobody can say any different. She brews them in cute little costa mugs which she probably stole (she’s a wild woman) and she tops it with whipped cream and little marshmallows. Such nice presentation for it being a home made hot chcolate, better than most I order when I go out. Overall, I don’t remember much about that day apart from the YouTube video we filmed after being force fed candle videos from AbbiesWorld’s YouTube channel. Looking back I feel bad for Sam. Jo, Sam and I didn’t have any inside jokes at that time so for some reason it was mostly taking the mick out of Sam.

Sam obviously didn’t enjoy it and I don’t know why I was so oblivious to seeing that. I’m a caring person and all. However, thinking back I was still friends with the druggie group (which included my first ex) who had quite horrible humour which I had experienced first hand. I just wasn’t thinking. Sam handled it well to be honest, he didn’t stand up for himself nor did he bitch about us. I just don’t think he knew what to do. He would just get stroppy and not speak for ages and walk off. He’s done really well since. I’m so proud of him. He’s changed a lot.

That day started the trio off I guess. Jo, the poser. Georgia, the fat unfunny comedian and Sam the boy everyone adores. It was amazing to have new friends who cared and respected eachother. Even in February we were amazed with everything. We always had the best fucking sleepovers where I’d genuinely piss myself of laughter for the dumbest reasons. I always thought to myself, “why the fuck did I need drugs to have fun? fuck off.” because I hadn’t had this much fun on a daily basis EVER in my life. It wasn’t a magical feeling, it was just pure enjoyment. I savoured it to bits.

I did make a few mistakes a long the way I can’t lie. I talked to boys who I didn’t have much interest in just because I was desperate and then realised why I got myself into. I never shagged anyone, I never fucked anyone over. I was just a bit of a mess, I wasn’t ready for a relationship so thankfully- I never got one.

March in 2019 was a great month. We all had a blast. The biggest thing I remember about it is the vintage sale in Bournemouth. I remember it as such a good day. It was a bit of a weird one but we laughed, got some killer bargains and just got out of our comfort zones. This was also the time where the bullying with Sam died down as we started having inside jokes.

When I say bullying it was nothing really bad. Just making fun of stuff that I can’t even remember now- making up nicknames like angry little man, telling him to stop thumping, ‘thumper’ and so on. I’m just glad we’ve both managed to stop because bless him- he’s a fragile boy. I’ve been there and experienced it and it hurts. I’ve only toughened up because of those insults.

April 2019 was by far the best month. The start of the month I went to London and had gotten the hang of a good edgy style. London was stressful as fuck I must say but the photos I captured were well worth it. It was such a cool experience though- especially for being 14. Mid April this boy and me started talking. I’m mentioning him because he meant a lot to me. And in a way he still does. I do claim to ‘dislike’ him now because I just still see him as such a good person. It’s weird because so many people say negative shit about him saying he’s an attention seeker but I can’t help but feel bad. He was there for me when he could be and now he’s moved on I feel like I can’t be there for him. He’s removed me from his private life and I didn’t want to care but I couldn’t help but feel hurt. I knew this boy on a personal level before his coverup of his ‘normal’ jokey self. I still agree with my points- he’s so gorgeous, generous and funny. But we had a thing which lasted for 2 weeks- basically the whole Easter holiday. He’s the closest to a ‘boyfriend’ I’ve had in a while. We got on so well! Just in the end, he didn’t feel the same way as I did... so on from there we said we’d be friends but we ended up just becoming distant. I had a fat crush on him for ages. It still bugs me sometimes just because his looks are so perfect. The harsh reality is, there’s a lot better people out there than him- he’s just the first boy I found who I fancy who doesn’t grind weed for a living and thrive off of talking about bongs. I still miss him sometimes. It’s dumb, but I do. And if you end up seeing this, I’m sorry for being a dick, I really am. Just know I’m thankful for you and you’re a good person at the end of the day.

Anyways- April meant a lot to me. It wasn’t just roban. Jo, Sam and myself were the brightest we could’ve been anyways. The weather was great and it was Easter. We went out so many times- to the beach, around lytchett, Bournemouth, wareham- so many different wacky adventures where we could just be free and laugh. it was nothing but fun. And I still rewatch the videos taken on those nights and I smile. They really cheer me up.

May was a useless recovery month. Jo started changing. Sam and I grew closer. It was weird. But we were still the same old 3. The only big thing I can remember from May was Tristan’s party near the end of the month. It was my first house party and funnily enough I ended up having to take care of my friend who was pissed out of his mind. He couldn’t control himself so I had to call his mum. It was a stressful night, but it wasn’t the worst experience ever. It was a good sleepover with Sam and jo though. The other thing I can remember about May is me going to the second vintage sale with the boy I liked back in April. I did look at him as a friend then, I basically forced myself. And it worked. I just couldn’t keep it up for long.

June. Exam month. The worst month by far- I was so stressed and I just kept telling myself, after this month I’ll be back to normal, like April and May. I’ll be happy and relieved. Even the first 3 weeks before exams I was stressing and exams lasted for two weeks. The stress started dying down in the end of June on the Belgium trip which was quite shit at times (mainly because of the heat) but it was the biggest laugh. Not just our trio but so many other people share our inside jokes- for example: good day out with my mates, cursed pictures, Adam shitting in food. It’s incredible. However June was the month Jo started changing the most. Sam and I were too stressed to realise at the time and we also started going out with Libbie more. Libbie is a girl who I used to be terrified of basically. She was a chav a few years back but has slowly grown up into a very hated edgy teen who listens to slowthai and lil peep and wants to die. She’s pretty amazing though. Her birthday is on June 7th and she very kindly invited me along with Sam and Jo to her birthday meal in Nando’s. I picked her up a little something because I always feel bad if I don’t get a gift. I didn’t have any idea what she liked so it was pretty shit, but I tried. I thought I was gonna have a shit time but it was pretty fun. Funnily enough the boy I fucking liked from April showed up because he recently was befriending Libbie. At the time I was fine with it. But I found it real weird. Oh and I forgot to mention, jo didn’t come to Nando’s. It wasn’t a big deal though.

This boy started hanging out with Libbie a lot. I didn’t want to care about it but I just did. I never had talked to Libbie seriously about this sort of thing because I was lowkey scared of her still. I never had seen the real serious side, and I still haven’t completely if I’m being honest. But worst things worst I thought that he liked Libbie- and I kinda was just observing it from a distance because I felt if she was a good friend she’d come and talk to me about it. But she didn’t- they kept hanging out, she was in his bed at one point. It really freaked me out. I wanted to have a fat go at him but I was irrelevant now, he didn’t give a shit anymore.

Around a week later I was hanging out with Jo, Sam and Libbie and we went back to Jo’s- (I cant remember for what reason) But basically it was around 6-7pm (roughly) and she needed to go home so she had to walk into Upton. I also needed to get my bus so I offered to walk with her expecting Sam to come. However, Sam said he would say which kinda frazzled me because I never had talked to libbie on her own which freaked me a bit. But we got going and it was actually really fucking good. She asked me. “So what went on with you and him?” And I just felt so relived she was asking. I could finally understand. We conversated about him, and I finally found out that he was just being over attached. They never kissed like we did, they never did anything apart from joke around. In the end, nothing ended up happening.

So, July. I kind of feel horrible saying July isn’t the worst month because something terrible happened. But just overall, June was the most stressful. However, Jo went completely distant. Sam and I would always invite her out but she’d basically instantly decline. We had made a group chat with Libbie and she had asked to meet a lot so we did. The groupchat between Sam, Jo and I ‘fathers day’ was basically left to die for a few weeks.

18th July 2019, Jo starts messaging the groupchat. She’s enquiring about why we never invite her out, shit about how’s she’s such a bad friend- and stuff I’d never expect to hear from her. I ignored it. She’d done this before but not this bad but I just couldn’t take it. Poor Sam was almost battling it for me. He was doing everything he could to calm Jo down. Because I understand how she was feeling but I just didn’t have the mental stregnth to comply with that.

I had to leave the house at 11pm that night. My grandad was dying, it was his last hour- more like last 10 minutes. He died at 23:12 on the 18th. It was really tough being there with my mum that night. I didn’t get home until half 12. I ignored jo. She realised what had happened the following morning. And came to apologise and see if I was okay. Which I appreciate.

I don’t even know why I went into school that day to be honest. I was allowed to stay home. It was the very last day. I just couldn’t bare the thought of so many things I guess, I just needed to concentrate.

Sam and Jo were amazing with comforting me, they seriously were. I couldn’t thank them enough. I just didn’t really know how to bring it up at first- afterall, I’m not the type of person to put RIP NAN 🥺😭😭 on my bio.

After the first half of the month Jo only got more distant. Sam and I were noticing it more. Libbie had kind of taken her place at this point. Which was sad because I missed jo coming out. She’d always want to know when we would go out- she thought she wasn’t good enough because she couldn’t afford it or keep up with us. But then again, she never tried or really showed that in our conversations. She covered it up with anger and accusations.

It was Libbie, Sam and myself now. August was approaching very quickly and we were the go to squad. The summer had started and was passing quite quickly.

I went to Wimborne for the first time, I dip dyed my hair a horrible blue for 12 hours, I had my first proper Wetherspoons, We took the 50 and had many mario kart races. It’s been quite a busy summer as I’m not going on holiday this year. It’s been okay so far.

It’s August now, 18th to be exact- a month since my grandad died. My granny fell tonight. I got back about an hour ago from my gran’s. My mum and I left at 11:15 to walk to hers to help her up. We’re home now, all safe. I’m just glad it wasn’t worse. But it’s hard to watch her struggling so much bless her, I couldn’t imagine what she is going through.

August has been a lot of just Libbie, Sam and I. Jo has basically got some new friends- aka the Corfe Mullen lot. Who don’t get me wrong- some of them are lovely but the rest are complete twats and they’re changing her to be horrible. I feel bad posting this about her but I doubt she’s gonna read it and it’s just honesty and the end of the day. Her humour is getting closer to insulting. But if she’s happy, she’s happy- I can’t do anything about it. People grow out of eachother and learn lessons. Her boyfriend, Spencer is one of those lessons. Let’s just hope she’s still gonna be there in a year. Sam will, Libbie most likely hopefully will, I really hope Jo is but I somehow doubt that.

I’ve gotten back into fitness recently though. I’m on fire when it comes to swimming, today will be my fourth day in a row- an average of an hour a day is pretty darn good. Jo is supposed to be coming with me tomorrow so we’ll see if she bails on that. I’m so determined to get that healthy, fit, in shape body I want and NOW. I’m sick of being the fat friend.

Anyway, this was a mess. I’m sorry if I offended you because I probably love you. Goodnight.

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