#and he was MIA for many logs

[19burstraat]

ketterdam dashboard simulator

goedmedbridge420

who up boeking they canal

10,345 notes

drydens follow

I can't believe some of you log on here and thirstpost about barrel vagrants. it makes me so sick. these men are the very pits of society and have never honoured ghezen a day in their lives. there are so many other young men who make their living in a reverent way. have some dignity.

#ghezen #inghezenssight #ghezenhonouring #churchofghezen #handofghezen

2 notes

kooperomno1fan

lionsroar12 follow

omg HOW is kaz brekker winning this he's SO problematic he's not even good for the economy he killed members of his own gang and kidnapped councilman van eck's son

dregsundrained

cranky coz your gang fell apart aren't you

17,860 notes

oskervoexchange follow

guys is this a mandela effect or what bc I SWEAR this painting used to be in the university district art museum, I literally saw it this week??? but I went today and it was GONE?????? there wasn't even a plaque?? guys pls I'm so confused why is everyone acting like this is normal for ketterdam? do priceless antiques just VANISH? am I being gaslit?

450 notes

stadhall-clerking

guys I'm so sorry I've been MIA :( I found out that my landlord was using my rent on the staves rather than fixing my black mould problem so I pushed him out the window and told the stadwatch he must have fallen and died because he wasn't honouring ghezen and got away with it. anyway I think maybe the black mould explains the dirtyhands/sturmhond fic I was writing sorry :( but I WILL finish my fairy queen of istamere meta post once I've moved into my new lodging

670 notes

dregsconfessions follow

SUBMISSION: sometimes I lie awake thinking about the time I fell down an entire flight of stairs at the slat when kaz was at the bottom, and he just stared at me (still lying on the floor), and then asked if I'd changed the beer kegs at the silver six yet. GIRL NO?!?!?!

#submission #dregs #dirtyhands #admin comment: laughed so loud my upstairs neighbour threatened to shoot me

546 notes

dregsconfessions follow

ADMIN NOTE: if the razorgulls don't fucking stop sending anon hate to this blog we'll tell dirtyhands n he'll send you your own IP address back

#see what happens you hack job seagulls

500 notes

kerchtourismboard

it's us, the real kerch tourism board, here to tell you what we're putting in the new summer season pamphlet. we got 1) three pages all about kaz brekker that end up being more of an advertisement than a deterrent 2) list of slipperiest spots in the barrel where you will fall over and get a concussion when ur drunk 3) top 10 ways to get your wallet stolen by a child in broad daylight 4) paintings of the komedie brute 5) advert for sten's stockpot 6) map of public toilets

570 notes

kerchtourismboardreal follow

we are not affiliated with any degenerate impersonator accounts who claim to be us. we are the only real kerch tourism account.

23 notes

kerchtourismboard-real follow

grafcanal smells like piss and you should bite everyone you see wearing the mister crimson costume

450 notes

stensstockpot follow

it's all 'fuck sten's stockpot' and 'I got food poisoning from the special at sten's stockpot' until you realise you don't have the money for cilla's fry, and then you come CRAWLING back to the loving arms of sten's stockpot and our special. you fucking traitors. you'll be back! you'll all be back

canaljumpings follow

what's in the special sten's stockpot

stensstockpot follow

it's a surprise ;)

bertskerch follow

nah I thought this was the real stens lmao

stensstockpot follow

bert smit you still have 45 kruge to pay on your tab and if you don't cough up we'll send our debtors to break your legs

230 notes

exchangingbabey follow

my grisha girlfriend who still wears a kefta and says things like 'nikolai lantsov is a bastard': ugh they're still debating whether or not the council of tides should be able to control kerch shipping, I hate inter-country politics

me: I think I hauve the queen's lady

4500 notes

(insp) (insp)

#I wasted a full hour making this #six of crows #crooked kingdom #soc duology #kaz brekker #ketterdam #soc #grishaverse #shadow and bone #my post #dashboard simulator

[ahsokasupremacy]

Alright, here are my Top Ten funniest guesses (+1 that I bet nobody ELSE will guess) for who Inquisitor Marrok actually is!

You are most welcome to correct me or let me know who YOU think is most probable.

And just to challenge myself, I’m NOT putting Ezra. Because that would be too obvious.

1. Barriss Offee

I’m serious when I say that this is probably the most likely.

We know that she is a very important character in Ahsoka’s life, the writers could be trying to mislead us into thinking that the Force User is a man when really we have no confirmation that they are. Plus Dave Filoni has said in interviews that he refused to have the character make cameos just because he wanted to save her for later. Also, many people already speculated that Barriss became an Inquisitor after Order 66, explaining the double-sided Inquisitor lightsaber.

2. Darth Maul

Their build is a little too skinny for Darth Maul, and also wow, he must really be getting up there. And also, he died in Rebels. But when has that really ever stopped Disney from resurrecting him? I just think they should keep bringing him back. For the bit. I want the opening scroll for the upcoming Daisy Ridley movie to contain the words “Somehow, Darth Maul returned…”

3. Bo Katan

I highly doubt this because her character arc on the Mandalorian is already concluded, but I can kinda see her doing this as like, a side gig. Homegirl is probably broke from paying off Mandalore’s restoration fees. She’s not a Force User unfortunately, but when has that ever stopped her? I like to believe that Bo Katan simply woke up one day and decided to be Force Sensitive and it all kinda worked out for her somehow.

4. Lux Bonteri

If this is the option David Filoni is going with, BOOO. Yet another character who isn’t Force Sensitive. If you really think about it, Dave Filoni probably wants to include someone with an important history with Ahsoka, someone close to her that she held dear and that betrayed her and that she still has lingering feelings for.

Well actually that person is Barriss, and yknow, she kinda went MIA. Sooo the next best thing we could get is Lux, I guess!

5. Anakin (Force Ghost)

Daaaad, what are you doing here?

Well, the ghosts of Obi-Wan and Yoda told him to fuck off and get a job. So here he is. He’s putting in the work! He’s logging onto his Zoom! Ahsoka is gonna be sooo surprised when he finally takes off the mask and reveals it was him along. Just you wait! It’s gonna be so funny!

6. Korkie Kryze

Now we’re really starting to get big brained here.

In Legends, we have Jacen Solo. In the sequels, we have Kylo Ren.

But in the Brand New Republic era? Hark, a new villain arises. Korkie is embittered about being left behind and forgotten by his biological parents, Satine and Obi-Wan. And now he is out for revenge against all the Force Users and Mandalorians who abandoned him. Mwahahaha. We should’ve known he would turn out like this, he’s a ginger after all.

7. Ventress

This would technically make Dark Disciple non-canon? But I don't think Dave Filoni cares, considering he hilariously made the Ahsoka novel non-canon. Ventress is obviously very powerful and capable of dual-wielding and she would make a great candidate for an Inquisitor. Plus her and Morgan Elsbeth are both former Nightsisters so points for rapport.

8. Anakin’s Evil Clone

Hey, I mean Palpatine HAD to start somewhere, right? He didn’t just create Snoke without practice. I like to think he tried making a second Anakin at first, only to discover that Clonakin was a huge pain in the ass and doesn’t wanna follow orders just sit on the couch all day eating the space equivalent of Hot Cheetos.

9. Cal Kestis but he’s evil now

This one pretty much goes against everything we know about Cal but hey, I’ll take a live action Cal cameo any day now. I’ve been on the frontlines defending my babygirl Anakin since day one, don’t even try to lecture me about the ethics of stanning Darksider Cal.

9. Mara Jade

OK no more messing around!! I'm serious this time!

EVERYONE LISTEN CLOSELY!

I think the reason why Dave hasn't made any references to Eli, or Ar'alani, or Vahnya must be because he grew up on the 80s Legends trilogy (not the canon trilogy). Whenever Thrawn is mentioned, there is a direct reference to Heir to the Empire. The same novel where Mara Jade is introduced as the Hand of the Emperor. Coincidence? I think not! Obviously, this must be part of Dave Filoni's master plan to softlaunch the upcoming top secret Thrawn series adaptation.

10. Starkiller

My only real proof is that his name (Marek, Marrok) kinda sounds similar?

Making Starkiller canon would create a whole bunch of problems for the Star Wars timeline. I think his origin story is too Mary Sue-y for even Dave Filoni to try and integrate into current canon.

However, it would be interesting to see a showdown between Anakin's two former apprentices. Interesting, but unlikely.

And finally, for my last guess, I will tell you exactly who Marrok REALLY is. Kathleen Kennedy told me personally, so don't get mad at me! She said it, not me!

11. Luuke (the clone Palpatine made out of Luke's dismembered hand)

This is the ONLY correct answer.

Us Timothy Zahn enjoyers know that this was really Luuke all along. I told you, Snoke isn't the first clone that Palpatine made! I imagine he had a lot of downtime and got bored and decided to fuck around, and that's how we got Luuke.

And yes, I would cast Sebastian Stan to play him because I'm petty AF.

#ahsoka #ahsoka show #barriss offee #lux bonteri #anakin skywalker #eli vanto #thrawn #mara jade #bo katan kryze #cal kestis #korkie kryze #darth maul #my post #ventress

[valictini]

Here is all the concrete lore info we have that COULD hint at one team being the cursed one (as far as i know, pls add onto it if i missed something) I am not counting all the player interactions and events that no admin could have reasonably predicted (sorry team Bolas, but just because you embraced insanity after a very unlucky day 1 doesn't mean you're cursed)

Blue team:

- Dapper's the only egg to explicitly tell their parent to win at all cost

– (copy pasted from @lb1412 's response) Mariana logged on the QSMP the day before the event, among other things he was led by Codeflippa to a trap (in the Nether ?) and got disconnected with a message that said something along the lines of "now your name is blue and for victory you will fight"

-(also copied) In the first Purgatory cinematic, we saw six different people on a screen with some info about them. 3 of them were from green team, the 3 others were from red team. No blue team member.

- (from @demodraws0606 's reblog) almost all the Kill contracts have been against blue team members

Green team:

- Forever has that Judas ritual book and we dont know what it does but it is very suspicious

- ElQuackity is straight up an agent of chaos invited by the eye entity

Red team:

- Now that we know what all the tickets look like, it is confirmed that all the special tickets' owners (minus Quackity) are part of team red

- Some people make the argument that the team compositions gave a disadvantage to Red Team for how many MIA players they had and how there were no pvp tryharders among them. I'm not entirely convinced by the first argument because among the other teams are people who were bound to log in once and never show up again after the first day, too. I do find it suspicious that aside from Philza, no big pvp players were in their team, though.

Additional info:

The eye entity gave a task to ElQ that could have let him know who the cursed team was, ( i suppose to help sabotage them?) But he was too weak to perform the task and never got the answer.

> it implies that the cursed team DOES exist but it could also be a lie just to taunt ElQ for being so bad at sabotage.

It's possible that none of the parameters I've listed have anything to do with the curse. It could be just random. Or it could all be lie and there is no cursed team.

#qsmp #qsmp purgatory #qsmp team bolas #qsmp team red #qsmp team soulfire #qsmp team blue #qsmp team green #qsmp team gay green ninja #qsmp theory

[captaingrebelguf]

Yule Tidings

Okey dokey, well I found myself with some time on my hands this weekend unexpectedly. So what else does a few glasses of wine lead to? 🍷

It leads to me slamming out a Christmas story for my ghestie, @copiousloverofcopia. Because she's a delight and she makes my life better. ❤️

🎄 Merry Ghristmas, girlfriend.🎄

------------------------------------------

Sister Alessandra and her and Terzo's brood borrowed from Prime Mover Ren and her series, Tied as One Eternally. Please read it. Multiple times. Or read ANYTHING she makes. It'll warm your dark lil soul. 💜

------------------------------------------

So. A few weeks back, the night before Luciana was born…

...

Terzo’s hands hovered protectively around over his daughter’s as she used a wooden match to light the long, pale candles driven into the oak log. 

“Ben fatto, mia figlia. Brava!” Terzo smiled, blowing out the match before kissing Mena’s cheek. 

The family’s yule log was now lit and seated in front of a frosted window. The glow of the festive stump and their newly-decorated Yule tree illuminated the Papal suite. 

Terzo promised to give his wife a day to herself and he had made good on his word. He woke, fed, and dressed the two kids and whisked them outside on an adventure with Zio ‘Peemo’. They had scavenged the forest to gather foragable materials to decorate an altar. Alessandra tiredly beamed at her family from the couch. Her “quiet” day had consisted of a nap, an overdue date with a few hours of Hulu, and indulging in the many holiday treats Primo was handing off to his dear, exhausted cognata daily. Frank Sinatra droned on in the background. The fireplace crackled and a simmer pot courtesy of Primo was bubbling on the stove; the smell of clove and bergamot wafted through the flat. A plate of frosted cookies remained half eaten on the coffee table. 

Primo suggested frosting cookies as a way to entertain the children to give Alé some much-needed alone time. Copia tagged along once he had gotten wind of cookies being mentioned. He and Terzo had been more than happy to help frost their own versions of cookies. Primo helped his brother’s children decorate trees adorned with pentagrams and demon-esque snowmen. Alessandra was less than amused to find the cookies her husband made specifically for her were just well-endowed gingerbread people with very poorly done corpse paint to resemble his own.

Mena jumped up onto the couch and threw her arms around her mom’s neck. Dante yawned as he snuggled closer to his mother; the excitement of the day beginning to wear on the interim youngest Emeritus. Mena sunk down to be at eye level with Alé’s bump.

“Okay, Luci, we have everything decorated for you. So we’re ready for you now!” Mena pleaded with her unborn sibling.

“Sadly, it doesn’t quite work that way,” Alessandra lamented giving her stomach a gentle rub, pulling her oldest daughter in for a hug.

“Well, she’ll be here sooner or later,” Terzo chimed in, pouring himself a refill of the leftover vin brulé he had pilfered from Primo’s quarters. Terzo sipped on his drink before turning back to his family, “Or else she’s going to share a birthday with a certain leper-groping, carpenter hippie.”

“Uh, we’re getting into overtime as it is here,” Alessandra interrupted, “She better be out well before the 25th…”

“I mean, Alé, unless you could try to keep her in until the, eh, 25th? We could use her as an anti-Christ figure against the Church!” Terzo rambled on. Alé shook her head, refusing to participate in her husband’s chaos.

“Luci is not going to be the anti-Christ,” Mena stated matter of factly. Alé’s eyebrows shot up as she turned to look at their oldest.

Terzo paused and raised his eyebrow at his daughter. He hesitated, but he had to know, “What makes you say that, topolina?”

Mena coyly smiled at her father and buried her face into his mother’s side, becoming bashful all of a sudden. Terzo’s expression pulled into a frown as he shook his head at his daughter, muttering to himself, “Stregallina pazza..”

“It’s getting pretty late, little ones,” Alé pointed out, kissing the top of her daughter’s head, motioning to the clock above the fireplace. Alé leaned back and peered over to Dante. The young boy had been watching the candle flames bounce from the adorned yule log, but as soon as he caught his mother’s gaze, he clamped his eyelids shut. Alessandra chuckled and gave him a gentle shake, “Dante, are you already asleep?”

“Yes,” Dante insisted, without opening his eyes as he fought off a smile. He rolled away from his mother as she began to tousle his hair up; he buried his face into the couch cushions. 

Terzo smirked as he snatched the pillow up from under his son’s head and gently bopped him in the back with the decorative cushion, “You sleep talk now, too, eh? Piccolo bugiardo.”

Dante giggled as he attempted to protect himself from the leisurely blows Terzo continued to pelt him with as he sipped away at his drink. Terzo finished his drink and set the glass back down on the table as he took the pillow and lovingly squished it against Dante’s face one more time. He clicked his tongue at his offspring, motioning between them both, “You heard your mama. Bed time.”

“I’m not tired,” Mena replied, suppressing a yawn. Dante had quieted down again, breathing softly, still buried beneath the throw pillow.

“Yes, I know. It’s amazing how you’re never tired,” Terzo admitted defeatedly as he shifted his weight to his hip, placing his hands on his waist. He furrowed his brow as he looked at Mena; his daughter maintained unbreaking, pleading eye contact. Terzo couldn’t help but cave. If anyone else said it, he’d beat their ass; but he was without question, a complete pushover for his precious daughter. 

“Ay, fine, why not go find the new book Zio Copia got for you and show your fratellino before bed?” Terzo suggested. He heard his wife cough and pat at her throat.

“ahHEM--weak--hhem.”

Terzo snapped his attention to glare daggers at his wife. Alé chewed on her lips to keep from laughing-- hoping to not pee herself. Before he could start his thought, his daughter’s cries interrupted him. 

“Yes!” Mena screeched enthusiastically as she leapt up from the couch, jostling Dante awake again, “And then after we read the book maybe we can get a rat for Yule, Papa??”

“No rats!” Terzo exclaimed, wide-eyed, putting his hands up to silence his daughter as she began to ramble to her father at a mile a minute. Damn his fratellino; filling his children’s minds with ratto thoughts.

“Papa!” Mena pleaded, her expression mimicking her father’s pout. Terzo felt his eyelid twitch.

“No. Rats.” Terzo insisted as he pointed towards Mena’s bedroom, “Sbrigati.”

Mena let out a heavy sigh as she marched towards her room, Dante quietly slid off the couch and bobbled after his sister. The two shuffled to the older one’s room where they could talk about maybe having Zio talk to their papa about a new pet.

“Why are you so opposed to this? Didn’t you boys have pets growing up?” Alessandra pried as she dropped her hands behind her in an attempt to relieve some of the pressure from her back. The ache today was no joke and she couldn’t wait to be done with this whole pregnancy.

Terzo huffed as he sunk down into the couch next to his partner, “Well yes, occasionally, the ones we’d find outside… the snakes.. The lizard.. The frogs.. but Primo always made us return them. But I also didn’t find myself with a wife and three children back then. Back then I had time for additional commitments! I refuse to take care of anything else at this time. Do you want to do it? Manage all of us plus a furry stronzo?!”

Alessandra smirked, choosing not to answer her husband. She adjusted herself to rest her head against his chest; Terzo gathered her legs and dropped them over his lap so he could massage her swollen calves. Alessandra moaned a little louder than she had planned as her head lolled back against the couch’s armrest.

“Prometto, when they’re out of my home, they can have as many disease-ridden burdens as they can handle,” Terzo clucked his tongue as he mimed circles around his head, “I have enough disease-ridden, snot burdens as it is.”

She frowned as she held out the back of her palm in an attempt to touch his forehead. Terzo awkwardly strained over for his wife to feel his skin. Most things ended up being a group effort for the past few weeks, “You do feel warm. Maybe you have thee crud.”

“Are you surprised? Alé, I feel like it's every other two weeks one of us is sick because of the two mostriciattoli,” Terzo stared incredulously at his wife as he continued .

Alé rolled her eyes as she let herself sink further into the couch. She winced as she felt the dull cramping in her back again. 

“Are you alright, amore?” Terzo questioned. Alessandra let out a sharp breath, holding her side.

“She’s definitely down in the right spot, that’s for sure,” Alé wrinkled her nose, clenching her jaw. Terzo’s mouth formed a tight line as he reached a hand over to place against her firm stomach.  He paused for a moment, considering his words before continuing.

“Well after the week you’ve had on your hands and knees begging for my cock, I had hoped that would help get something moving,” his concerned expression turning into a mischievous grin, gently patting her belly.

“Get your hands off me,” Alessandra hissed at him, batting his hands away from her. She attempted to pull her legs away, but Terzo held on, keeping her in place.

“I can bring a lot to the table, dolce,” Terzo purred, capturing her hand. He gently lifted her fingers and brought them to his lips; placing a chaste kiss. He wiggled his eyebrows at her, eliciting a giggle in response.

“Yes, Terzo, believe me, I’m very aware. Sometimes too much,” she laughed motioning with her free hand to her stomach. He smirked before leaning forward to kiss her belly. Alé cupped his cheek and gave him a content smile. Terzo softened his gaze as he locked eyes with her. Alé’s breath hitched as she suddenly felt her husband crush his lips against hers. Alé let out a soft moan as she felt her husband’s hands wriggle down the front of her robe and cup at her enlarged breast. Terzo continued to nip and bite at her neck as he rolled her nipple between his fingers. Alé wanted this so badly, but the kids were too close and knew a book wouldn’t keep them busy long enough.

“Hey!” Alé interjected against her husband’s fervent kisses, she gently placed her palm against his chest to snap him out of this state, “Hey, keep it in your pants, Papa! This one would be hard to play off in front of them.”

Terzo blinked back, trying to change gears wasn’t so easy when his Prime Mover looked like this. He felt slightly light-headed as he sat back against the couch with his cock straining against the confines of his slacks. He willed the blood to continue to circulate to other parts of his body. 

“Mi dispiace…” he cleared his throat and let out a long, frustrated sigh, “Alé, when you are like this, something takes over my mind, and I can’t think straight around you.”

“Well, I am flattered, but I’m also exhausted and like you said, you already had a good run this week.”

Terzo sighed, trying to focus on anything other than her breasts, his eyes flitted to the side table momentarily before changing his tone, “You know… I was only trying to add on a second early yule gift for my bellissima Prime Mover.”

Alé glowered at him. The emotional whiplash this man gave her sometimes made her question if it was worth it, “Second gift what!? Terzo, we said no gifts for each other this year. PERIOD.”

“It’s not a gift, per se!” Terzo argued, backsliding. 

“Listen to me, I have very little patience right now for you. You bring me cookies with massive, very graphic dicks on them. You massage my legs to just cop a feel--”

“I most certai--”

“Ah!” Alessandra cut him off and continued, “You beat our son!”

Terzo broke out into a shit-eating grin and laughed boisterously, “Please, like you wouldn’t smack the shit out of that little cattivello with a pillow if you had the chance!”

Alé’s serious face broke and she giggled, giving her husband a gentle shove, “You know what Primo told me? Dante pulls the same shit you and Secondo put that poor man through! So this IS actually all your fault that he’s like this. This is just generational karma!”

“That chiacchierone is nothing but a gossip! Stop talking about me behind my back with my fratello!” Terzo scoffed, waving his wife off, still chuckling to himself.

“You know I only agreed to marry you because it would get me closer to Primo,” Alé teased, scratching her nails down Terzo’s arm, Terzo rolling his eyes at her comment. The two lovers sat in comfortable silence taking in the disarray of their festively decorated home. This many years later, neither of them could still fathom this is where their path would take them.

“Eh, so, I did get you… a something,” Terzo finally admitted, fiddling around with his golden wedding ring, avoiding his wife’s accusatory gaze. Alé softly, but deliberately, punched him square in the shoulder.

“God. Damn. You,” Alessandra’s stare could have turned her husband into a Medusa-esque statue, “And I mean that, Terzo! We said no gifts! You make me look bad because I am capable of following rules!”

Terzo winked at her, rubbing his shoulder, as he leaned back behind the couch, snagging a small black box from the side table she hadn’t noticed before. He held the gift out to her; it was adorned with a dried orange and a cinnamon stick

“You bastard,” she grumbled, crossing her arms. Terzo placed the small box on top of her stomach. Alessandra huffed, jiggling the box.

“Consider our daughter in there your gift to me,” Terzo added, giving her leg a gentle squeeze.

“Oh you’re damn right she is!” Alé interjected as she felt their unborn child wedge her foot into her ribcage. The more she thought about it, the less bad she felt. Terzo wasn’t the one who was going to have to push another one of his big-headed children out from his crotch in the upcoming days. This was the least he could do for her. She lifted the giftbox and removed the ribbon fastening on the lid. Alessandra lifted the lid to reveal a delicate, gold, three moon pendant with a sizeable amethyst affixed to it. Her jaw dropped as she gaped at the necklace.

“Jesus Christ.”

“He had nothing to do with this one either, my love,” Terzo chuckled. He brushed a strand of Alé’s beautiful hair out of her face and tucked it behind her ear. Alessandra stared at the jewelry, feeling every emotion all at once. Terzo continued, “I felt this was only fitting. Something nice for the woman who is graciously making me a father for the third time. Grazie, mia dea oscura. Grazie di tutto.”

“Oh Terzo,” Alé sniffed, “This is too much…”

“It is just barely the start, amore,” Terzo hummed, “After all you’ve done for me; with me. You deserve the world, vita mia. Thank you doesn’t seem to cut it.”

Alessandra chuckled as she handed her husband the jewelry to safely place on the table next to his crude gingerbread persons, “Alright, help me up. I’m going to start a bath, you get the kids into bed, then meet me back at the tub. I think you’ve earned one more round to really get something moving here.”

Terzo stared wide-eyed at his wife, in complete disbelief his plan had worked, “Ave Satanas.”

“Come on, cowboy,” Alé rubbed her hand against the length of his hardening cock, she leaned over to him as she pointed a stern finger in his face, as she mocked, “Sbrigati, eh?”

Terzo sucked his teeth, ignoring the piss poor imitation of himself his wife had just pulled on him, as he quickly sprung to his feet to assist Alé. As he helped her up, he pulled her straight into his embrace. He began planting small kisses over her face and neck, “Grazie mille. You will not regret this, Sorella!”

“Last chance, though, mister,” Alé warned him as she pulled away from his arms. Terzo hurriedly began snuffing out candles and grabbing dishes to leave in the kitchenette for later. She winked at him as she waddled down to their bathroom to go make good on her proposition. 

Translations: 

Ben fatto, mia figlia -- Well done, my girl

Stregallina pazza -- Crazy little witch

Piccolo bugiardo -- Little liar

Sbrigati -- Hurry up

Mostriciattoli -- Little monsters

Cattivello -- trouble-maker

Chiacchierone -- Chatterbox

Grazie, mia dea oscura -- Thank you, my dark goddess

Grazie di tutto -- Thank you for everything

#Merry Ghristmas! #Happy Yule! #the band ghost #ghost #ghost bc #ghost fanfic #ghost fanfiction #fanfiction of a fanfiction #copiousloverofcopia's characters #papa emeritus iii #terzo #ghost band #papa iii #papa terzo #terzo emeritus #papa emeritus lll #terzo x alé #terzo x alessandra #terzo x ale #tied as one #prime mover #prime mover alessandra #terzo as a dad #dad terzo #fanfic #Terzo X Alessandra #Terzo X Alé #ghostband #papa emeritus terzo #daddy terzo

[dez-wade]

When the new eggs came and I saw parents of dead eggs were in the middle of the list of new parents I got concerned. I felt like it wasn't a very good idea but didn't know how to explain why. Some people commented that no one should be upset cause they're not trying to replace the old eggs that died and because the parents had the right to have other children. I agreed that that would never be the intention of the admins or the parents and that they can have new children and decided to wait and see, maybe my concerns were for nothing.

Now I know why I felt, or rather feel, this way. I don't think any of the parents are ready to have another child. All of them are still going through their grief.

Jaiden has a whole place to mourn Bobby.

Roier just started to accept Richas and he was taken, now in the hospital+his husband is MIA.

Slime and Mariana have a whole thing with CodeFlippa.

Maximus gave up on life in grief.

Quackity is in hell with his "dead kid" trying to fix things between them.

They are not bad parents. They can raise a kid with love and care. But they need to feel like it. They need to decide on their own that they want to do that at the chance of having to see their child die again. Not be forced into it again.

Egg adoption was never an option in Quesadilla Island. The Federation just choose people and say: take care of this kid, if they die it's your fault. Some parents instantly fall in love with their child, like Bagi, others need a bit more time, like Forever, and others never do, like Spreen.

After you love them, there's no coming back and if they die, you'll never completely recover from it.

Cucurucho seems to have connected that having a child makes people happy so giving a new one to the people that lost theirs would make them happy again. But just like the happy pills, that is not the case. Happiness after grief can't be forced; it needs to be found even if it means you may never find it.

Empanada is afraid Jaiden will see her as a Bobby replacement. That may not be true but, unlike everyone reassures her, Jaiden doesn't have to want to love her regardless. Not if it means she'll have to suffer again if Empanada dies. Jaiden may be sweet and caring and would never wish harm on Empanada. But loving her knowing she can die, be kidnapped, run away or be in coma in the hospital? That's a big commitment. The same goes for Roier.

Quackity likes Richas and will probably like Pepito too. But he'll never stop running after Tilin. If he can't bring her back, he'll get revenge for her and continue revolving his life around her. The other children will never come before her.

Slime and Mariana both know CodeFlippa is not their daughter but I'm not sure if they'll let her go regardless.

In the end, both parents and eggs will suffer. Hopefully having many parents for these eggs will help, but one person can never fully fill the void of other specially if the person with said void doesn't want it to be filled.

I completely agree with you. When Cellbit and Forever were creating their presidential campaign, they decided to do a project that you could adopt new eggs. It was made especially for those who lost their eggs, but after going around asking these people if they wanted a new egg, they all refused. So the idea was dropped.

So I was genuinely surprised to see that the new eggs would go to parents who already lost their kids. Did the admins talk with them beforehand or was it just a surprise?

Jaiden and Charlie haven't logged in yet, but I fear for Empanada and Sunny. At least these two have other parents that don't hide how much they love them. Pepito on the other hand...

#qsmp

[givereadersahug]

20 questions for fic writers!

Thanks for the tag @lumosatnight (x)!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

I currently have 258 works on my emeraldlove account. Give or take xxxx on another account and unrevealed works. I write a lot of drabbles. 😅

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

184k on my main account! Which woah. Given how many (*coughs* all *coughs*) of my works are really short.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling (166)

SK8 the Infinity (Anime) (55)

Thor (Movies) (13)

Marvel Cinematic Universe (12)

Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (Movies) (10)

佐々木と宮野 | Sasaki to Miyano (Manga) (5)

佐々木と宮野 | Sasaki to Miyano (Anime) (5)

Gilmore Girls (TV 2000) (2)

Call Me By Your Name (2017) (1)

蟲師 | Mushishi (Anime & Manga) (1)

ひだまりが聴こえる | Hidamari ga Kikoeru | I Hear the Sunspot (Manga) (1)

Spider-Man: Spider-Verse (Sony Animated Movies) (1)

きのう何食べた? | Kinou Nani Tabeta? | What Did You Eat Yesterday? (1)

8人の戦士 | 8-nin no Senshi | Dick Fight Island (Manga) (1)

Call Me by Your Name - André Aciman (1)

Call Me By Your Name - All Media Types (1)

ばらかもん | Barakamon (1)

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

"I'm in. I'm all in." [Harry Potter, Snarry, 8.4k, Rated M]

The Pocket Watch [Fantastic Beasts, Gramander, 2.4k, Rated G]

Colours [Harry Potter, Snarry, 2.2k, Rated E]

Cups of Tea [Fantastic Beasts, Gramander, 1.7k, Rated G]

Sandalwood [Harry Potter, Snarry, 1.6k, Rated M]

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

You bet! I love getting comments, especially on older fics. Usually people don't comment on drabbles or don't comment in certain fandoms, and receiving comments on those fics make me feel like I made it. lol

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I'm not sure! I guess I'll go with 'He waits.' [Harry Potter, Snarry, 300 words, Rated M]. It's an expansion on a microfic I wrote for Microfic May. Infidelity + First Person.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

All of my fluff fics! I've written tons. But I guess I'll say my most recent fest fic -- Invisible String [Harry Potter, Snarry, 3.7k, Rated G].

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Once or twice. Then I turned off guest comments. If people want to leave hate, they need to be logged in so I can block them. 😈 YKINMKBYKIO, DLDR and SALS, people! I do occasionally get weird comments. They get deleted, too.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Not usually. I'm more of a G-T rated girl, cause apparently if I write smut, I'll go dark. [Link leads to my HP Kinktober works. Mind the tags!]

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Not yet! But I did write fusion fics/inspired/AU fics before.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I write drabbles. I don't think people will steal those. Right? 🥺 [Please, don't steal. 🙏]

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I've written fics that has art, but I've never co-written a fic before. I feel like I'll be too controlling or I'll be MIA. There's no in-between. 🤣

14. What’s your all time favourite ship?

Thorki, my love! I'm still waiting on the sun to shine on them again. BUT WHEN, MARVEL? WHEN? You might not think it's Thorki given how little I've written for the ship, but I'm Mr. Knightley. If I loved [them] less, I might be able to talk about [them] more.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Restoration [Harry Potter, Snarry, Rated M]! My only WIP fic. One day! And I guess my Interacting with Unusual Creatures series [Fantastic Beasts, Gramander, Rated G]. It's suppose to be a 5+1 Things fic. There are only two moments. 🤣

16. What are your writing strengths?

Packing a (emotional) punch in as little words as possible. Did I mention I write drabbles? lol

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Writing anything longer than 2k. It's always a *struggle*. Don't come to my AO3 account looking for a 100k plot-heavy fic. You'll be mighty disappointed.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

You do you!

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Teen Titans (the Cartoon Network series) and the X Files. You will never see them. Ever. 🤣

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

I don't have an absolute fav. I have been thinking lately about a coffeeshop AU fic I written --- Warmth [Harry Potter, Snarry, 1k, Rated G]. I might write a sequel for that.

Tagging (no pressure): @danpuff-ao3 @liladiurne @trueliarose @ashariewrites @likelightinglass

#tag game #writing #fanfic

[rallamajoop]

Hi I absolutely love your fics, they are very well written and I feel like you totally understand the characters! If you are okay with NSFW asks, do you see Ethan as a top or a bottom? I personally like to see him as a very bossy power bottom! He already spent so many years being the top (assuming Mia didn't peg him lmao) I like the idea of Ethan being wrecked lmao.

Happy with NSFW asks, but this almost seems like a non-question! Pushy-bottom!Ethan is basically the whole fandom consensus, and I'm all for it (if you couldn't tell from, well, everything I've posted so far*). You can certainly make a case for other takes, but Ethan's whole story is basically him being thrown into horrific situations he's in no way prepared for, but which he still mostly rolls with by getting mouthier the longer things go on, until I'm just here going, Ethan, ETHAN! DO NOT TAUNT THE CREEPY FISH-MAN, ETHAN, what are you doing omg- (Seriously, it's great!) The whole world wants to top poor Ethan (bareback without lube), and it does not care much for informed consent, so it's a good thing I can see him being into that.

At the risk of going all PSA though, I feel kind of obligated to point out that being 'the top' isn't all about who-penetrates-who. It's not even necessarily who's physically on top (though that can certainly help), nearly so much as it's about who's calling the shots. So Mia could have topped with Ethan even without strap-ons involved, and I see no reason why Ethan wouldn't have been into that (heck, it's even a minor plot point in Two-Finger Salute). It seems pretty in-character for Mia too.

But I'm not here to say Ethan's always got to be the pushy bottom. I can see him pushing a lot less in relationships where there's more trust, I've read some very interesting mould-monster-top!Ethan fic, and I'm always up for some switching. I can see Heisenberg really getting into lying back and inviting a slightly-stunned Ethan to give him a good hard pounding once in a while, just for one ‒ variety is the spice of smut (if not also life as well).

* Well, certainly in One More Happy Ending, at least. Two-Finger Salute is more Ethan being confused and aroused by the discovery he wants to bottom to things that could have him for breakfast, but then he does spend most of the action trying to let Heisenberg know he's not going to just roll over and take it, so. Ethan in Medical Log isn't really in a position to do much pushing, on account of being restrained and gagged, but, look, he had to be gagged, or no power on earth would have made him shut up long enough for Heisenberg to get on with the (ahem) Very Important Scientific Work he was doing, so I think the point stands. The man has a tsundere streak I do not think we can blame him for.

#wintersberg #Ethan Winters #Karl Heisenberg #Mia Winters #Resident Evil Village #Resident Evil #asks

[heybaetae]

what do you think the member's myspace profiles would've looked like? who would've made it look pretty and who left it on default lol

LMFAO THIS QUESTIONNRHEJJS. i fucking loved myspace so much. let me think on this ok let’s get into it.

namjoon would have a layout, but a very clean, neutral one with meticulously organized photo albums for nature photos, museum photos, and book quotes he likes. his about me section would be some philosophical quote and his profile song is probably something by nas. he writes a lot of cryptic blog posts

jin has a layout but he changes it every week because he gets bored with how it looks, so you never know what his page is gonna look when you click on it. he tends to troll jungkook and hobi’s comments with “w4w???” because he knows neither of them know what that means. in true jin fashion, his default pic is him holding up a giant fish. he thinks the games on myspace are lame and he has no problem commenting on tom’s page to let him know

yoongi keeps his page pretty minimalistic like namjoon, but he likes darker, cooler tones on his layout and he posts videos from his studio a lot. he’s friends with a lot of athletes and producers and whenever he changes his profile photo, people go absolutely insane. he receives thousands of marriage proposals a day and his favorite feature is the “who i’d like to meet” section of his page where he lists all the people he’s a fan of and wants to work with some day

hobi has the most colorful layout of everyone and he LOVES those flashy glitter text gifs, so he has one that says “I LOVE U ARMY” and little animated snoopy graphics. he spent the most time making his page look perfect and he’s very organized with his photos. everything fits an aesthetic and he comments on all the tannies photos, statuses, profiles, bulletins, everything. fashion brands are spamming his inbox on the daily.

taehyung doesn’t have a layout at all because he doesn’t have the patience to learn html, but he does a have great jazzy profile playlist and yeontan is his profile picture OBVIOUSLY. he doesn’t have a top 8, he has a top 1 and it’s just jimin. he really likes posting bulletins to share youtube videos of old movies. his photo albums are kind of a mess but people love his chaotic, grainy images of random stuff around his house, his mirror selfies, or his paintings. the wooga squad leave him really sweet comments

jimin has a profile, but he rarely logs in. his layout is pastel colors and he often confuses the status update box with the little description next to his profile photo. he spams taehyung’s comments with hearts to bury the ones of certain others. when his “online now!” thing comes on, it’s a major event and his comments get flooded so much that it overwhelms him and he logs out again for a few weeks. he’s not sure how to comment back directly, but he’s really grateful everyone says hi to him.

jungkook has an all black page with galaxy-like animations. he learned how to do html so he could design it himself. his playlist is all demos/covers he made himself because he figures army would much rather hear him sing on his own profile than someone else (he’s right!). he goes MIA a lot too, so his “last login” date sometimes becomes a meme amongst the fandom which results in counting exactly how many days we last heard from him. when he remembers his password though, he’s on there for hours posting lots of bam photos, boxing videos, and doing bulletin surveys for fun. he threatens to block jin literally every time he comes online because he genuinely has no idea what he’s asking and he whines about it in hobi’s inbox too.

#ask

[tobthoughts]

downhill

monday, november 20th, 07:02am

no i haven’t slept yet.

i was having a mild emotional breakdown at like four in the morning and asked charlie if i could go stay with her for a little bit. charlie,. the angel she is, said yes, so i’ve only just gotten home. i tried to write this post earlier but the words didn’t look right and nothing i wrote was any good. like the alphabet had a personal vendetta against me in my hour of need.

writing helps. my old therapist, julie, always suggested it but i was never really any good at keeping a journal or a diary - the thought of logging it every day was so scary to me. that’s why i find it easier to keep this blog. there’s no need for me to do it every day and no repercussions for me if i just let all my thoughts spill out. i know it would’ve been the same if i had kept a diary… but it just seemed too daunting. maybe i’ve grown as a person. julie would’ve been proud, i think.

today was going relatively well, other than the unfortunate events of earlier. its trans day of remembrance, so me, noah and jamie went to a little memorial in town. there were speeches and a choir. it makes me so, so sad how many of my trans siblings die every year. whether that’s suicide or murder. i nearly cried at one of the speeches. it was almost a eulogy, in a way. the speaker was choking up and it broke my heart. maddie joined us a little bit into it, and i got to meet her friend violet! violet was really lovely, she had cool eyeliner and cool hair. i’d like to get to know her better, if maddie would bring her to more events. they went off to do clothes shopping after a while, and noah and jamie went into the queer cafe to warm up for a little bit, so i was by myself. i didn’t mind. i was just enjoying my time surrounded by other members of the trans community.

about two hours in, around 2pm, we got a little bit too cold standing in the wind and rain so decided to go for a walk around the lanes. if you’ve never been to brighton, the lanes are like… eclectic, colourful streets filled with small businesses, independent artists, vintage clothes shops and super overpriced little cafes. its one of my favourite parts about living here. noah and jamie got birthday cards for their mums (who share a birthday!) and then we went to snoopers paradise. snoopers is a massive shop, basically like a flea market, with loads of random memorabilia and other quirky stuff. i bought two things, a little box with a pierrot clown on it, and a big ornament of a clown playing a trombone. i have a collection of clowns, they make me really happy, so i was super excited when i found them! i’m still looking for names for the trombone clown, nobody’s suggestions have been ‘right’ for him yet. after snoopers we went home. it was freezing outside so i was very happy when i got back inside and warmed up. i made myself some chicken nuggets and watched a fuhnaff theory video. then i had a nap. my sleep schedule has been so fucked up lately, i was exhausted by about half three in the afternoon.

this brings us to about half six! jamie had some kind of family drama and called me crying like half an hour after i woke up from my nap. my room is a complete mess at the moment so i had to meet him in the communal area of my accommodation. after we sorted that and i’d calmed him down, we headed to his. we had plans with friends to go to the pub for a bit and he needed to get ready. that went fairly quickly! we met noah, maddie, taiga and mia at the bus stop. i tapped out a bit on the bus ride, i was really overwhelmed. i remember texting tyler (who was on their way back to brighton after spending the weekend at home) and telling them who i was with, but it was a bit hazy from there. the first pub we went to was the great eastern! its a really cute little building with chill music and an overall nice vibe. it is really small though. we all got a mulled cider, which was really nice! we just sat outside chatting for a bit when i pointed out tyler on the other side of the street (they almost definitely did not see us) and maddie ran to get them. it was kinda sweet. and then there was seven! we moved pretty soon after they got there, to another cool pub called the prince albert. i only had a half pint because i didn’t want to get too fucked. everyone else was drinking and talking and it was really nice, until charlie and pip walked in. for context: we LOVE charlie, this is the same charlie i mentioned earlier, she’s my best friend and platonic soulmate and the nicest human being on earth. pip on the other hand… a slightly more controversial figure. of the group i was with, i think it was divided almost in half by people who’re on good terms with her and people who absolutely hate her guts. i’m trying to remain neutral purely because i don’t want her to be an enemy of mine, but my true thoughts? she’s manipulative, hypocritical, selfish. she cheated on her girlfriend multiple times but blames the end of the relationship on her ex. she’s a danger to herself and others - she has an alcohol and drug abuse problem - and every time she tries to be sexual towards me it makes me sick in the pit of my stomach. i think she’s gross. i tolerate her to avoid conflict because she has a lot of power and would probably decimate any kind of “image” or “reputation” i have. i know she’s talked shit about me behind my back, too. but yeah. we don’t like her that much. my night went downhill from there. i went home about an hour later.

well… not home. we had “afters” in jamie’s flat, just me, noah and jamie. he was on a facetime the whole time, which made me and noah feel really awkward. luckily, taiga, mia and charlie came home not long after us which gave us some company. taiga and mia went to bed, but charlie stayed. we talked (well… gossiped) for a while before calling it quits. jamie’s other friend, daisy, came over and he just left the three of us in his kitchen while he talked with her in his room. charlie told me some information that made me kinda upset. shocked, maybe more than anything, and angry and upset. we went home and i cried in the shower, listening to the playlist tyler made me.

from there… yeah. it got worse, i went to charlie’s, she made me feel better. that’s it really.

even though i haven’t gone into much detail about the bad… it was bad. like, considering harming myself bad. which is maybe a bit dramatic, all things considered, but i wasn’t thinking rationally.

i do feel better now though.

thank you charlie<3

#blog #diaryposting #personal diary #online diary #tumblr diary #tw vent

[shadowcovcn]

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ — nadja & baron

some headcanon meme idk it was a while ago // @musecraft

1.) Due to his age and overall fuck-upness Baron doesn't typically feel strong attachment to those he's sired. Creating a vampire is easy enough and if they're overly annoying or clinging, well, they're easy enough to do away with as well. His unhinged personality typically led to a high turnover within his cult with many of his newborns leaving within the first decade (or sooner). Nadja was the exception. She was one of the first members of his coven and the last one to leave. She's likely one of the few consistent presences in his eternal life and if he were to return to the old world he'd probably ask her to come with him.

2.) He turned her for the lols. Baron just saw this spicy woman singing on the side of the road and thought it would be very funny if he turned her and she ate her entire village- the entertainment equivalent of prime time tv back then. But instead her family chased her out and he's been stuck with her ever since. No. He never told her this.

3.) Nadja was more or less illiterate when they met. Baron had spent some time teaching children while living as a mortal. However his understanding of Greek was incredibly formal and they both struggled to find the patience for consistent lessons. He did manage to teach her the basics of reading, writing, and math but beyond that he just...gave up.....

4.) Now that he lives a domestic life on Staten Island they have movie and blood!wine nights every week. Nadja always picks musicals and Baron picks what he thinks are comedies but are actually horror films. They're both obsessed with Mama Mia! and have seen it at least ten times. They also like to watch history documentaries where mortals try to figure out mass deaths that were actually caused by them. They treat them as if they're a greatest hits reels.

5.) They fucked at least once while Baron still looked like a burnt log and yes it was incredible.

#dyn / baron & nadja. this too shall pass | (musecraft.) #baron afanas / headcanon.

[askivyalexandria]

Log Entry Earth Date 29/1/2023-18/2/2023:

Hello, it has been awhile, has it not? Well, here a horrible attempt at a log of what happened over the past two weeks. I am sure there is a lot missing.

“holy shit that's a long time”

“holy fucking bingle”

“Gwen died” (there are two celebration emoji reactions to this message)

“anyway i have gay things to attend to yall have fun with this (saying what to put on the log) for awhile”

“uhhhhh gwen lyfra hangout??”

“Scuzz and gwen besties time”

“gal*entine's day!” “YEAH!”

“also beta and scuzz being in love /p”

Scout Captain Alice Liddell made a blog.

“Mono contracted the spflu”

“oh yeah. lyfra and val got galahad, then alice, then sigyn. they got a robot from marius.”

“val and galahad are fruity”

“it was gay time in general I think some other gay shit happened”

“marius and lyfrassir talked gayly”

“gay week on and off the blogs frfr” "I'm not elaborating"

“Alice made radio contact, got rescued, made a few friends, and has now knit a scarf.”

“Marius gay posting, cat posting, and glass onion posting.”

“Marius came out as a catboy”

“Heracles listened to TBI and has not finished it. freaked the fuck out when he heard Ashes’ voice he also has a cat bug now”

“big doggy has entered the ship”

“Cerberus has met so many people. including Alice and Cinders, who are their best friends now”

“Cerberus killed Gwen” (celebration emoji)

“Ashes big sibling momence (moments). like a lot (of) stew and speggrolls were made”

“Ashes lost a necklace that was really important to them for a few days. TS 2 brought it back to them (:”

“oh rose exists”

“For Valentine's Day Marius gave Lyfrassir armor.”

Adding to that, Marius gave Valentine’s Day presents to his love interests.

“tim mostly reblogged sooooooooo many cats” “some anons moved a bunch of her bones around”

“oh yeah tim got drunk like a week ago and scuzz put hir to bed and also ze found a cat who scuzz took care of and they (scuzz and the cat) watched bbc sherlock”

“there was the whole... marius rescue sigyn mission where tim got a bit upset at marius for a while”

“tim n marius watched mamma mia and marius was dared to spoil it”

“also marius said i love u (to Tim)”

Tag List under cut:

Tag List (Ask to be added):

@monggay @deadcaptainn @inspectorlyfra @honey-beesknees @l3monbunny @bookworm-girl2002 @toy--soldier @eternaljunkyard @delta-val @floor-archivist

#log entry #weekly log #ask the mechs #[you have no idea how tempted i was to just write “gay week” and call it a day]

[doodleybugg]

i. apologize for the inactivity guys. i had a rlly bad episode recently and although im back rn i can't promise how long i'll stay JDBDHD

ANYWAYS how about we have a little update? (triggering topics such as sh, ed, etc descriptions will be in red, bold text! i'll try to keep most of the negative stuff at the bottom but no promises :/)

so i forget how long i've been gone exactly, i remember logging in some rare occasions to like and reblog a couple posts but otherwise i've been extremely M.I.A (pun very much intended) and honestly that's been a bit stressful for me.

i've had a LOT of drama in classes. yeah that's right, ya girls in uni now! and i am failing SO BAD. it's rlly hard going to school everyday, like i hate it i just wanna go back to working at a shopping mall or smth lol. but hey the map of my cities kinda set up well, being the uni is right next to a lake, and on the other side is a parking lot w mcds, circle k, chatime, etc. and next to the parking lot, like legitimately across the street, is my house. i moved back in with my mom cuz rent was getting too steep, and honestly id rather be on the streets lol

probably the biggest update ihave; i'm a did system. i got the diagnosis early december, and with a shit ton of research and help from friends who have the disorder because the doctors are no help, i'm getting comfy with the label.

if you're not sure what did (disassociative identity disorder) is, it's basically a disorder which defines the presence of two or more different persons in your mind, alike to multiple personality disorder. again, i'm not a professional, and you'd think my doctor would have given me a run down on why it meant before he diagnosed be but here's how it went:

me: hey, so i haven't looked much into the subject, but my one friend who has did was telling me about their experiences and they lined up with a lot of mine. i think i might want to go about being tested

doc: mia. you don't need to get tested, it's already in your file. we've spoken about this before?

me: ...i don't think we have?

doc:

me: so you're saying you diagnosed me with did and didn't even tell me about it?

doc: well, at least you're aware now, right?

yeah. so that's two doctors i've gone through in the past three years. i didn't throw a stressball at this one, but fuck i wanted too!!

anyways, i guess i should introduce some of my alters :)

i'm mia (she.they.fae.), the host and little, i identify with how the body looks.

enzekai (he.they.it) is the co-host and caretaker, as well as the first alter i purposefully made. kai has many sources, but his main is actually an oc of mine, cairo!

and dwelle (it.she.boo) is our resident trauma holder and nonhuman. she formed recently while i was splitting and hasn't had much time in the front. her main sources are casper from girl in pieces and cassie from skins.

i'll give everyone a better intro but i'll save that for another post!

i have gotten absolutely zero progress done in my book, the toll it takes, and i find it harder and harder to write anything but immensely sad poetry anymore. on the rare occasions i can make up some headcanons but i don't think i'll be able to write any (good) fanfics for a while now, sorry

okay, onto the bad stuff. if anything listed is triggering or unappealing, please don't read ahead: ed (anorexia), sh (cutting, self sabatoge), anxiety and depressive thoughts, suicide mentions, death mentions, and otherwise explanations of feelings like abandonment and lonliness that while, in retrospect wasn't nearly as bad as i thought so, can still be upsetting just to read.

you've been warned

recently, as mentioned above, i've just gotten out of an episode; a bad one. by gotten out of, i mean i've attached myself to select people and depend entirely on them to keep me from self harming or starving. and that's completely unfair, so i've been trying to recover. my friend @my-elysian-love is helping me immensely to eat full meals and reminding myself that i don't deserve what i think i do. i'm so eternally grateful and i can never repay any of them back <3

before my choice to try recovering though, it was getting worse. i weighed 68 pounds at 19 years old. a couple nights ago, i've cut deeper than i ever have before, and i've been stuck with this sinking feeling in my stomach that i can't quite explain. i took out all my bad feelings on people i knew and loved, and when they finally held healthy boundaries and left me to my own devices so i couldn't hurt them, i took everything out on myself. i know, real remus lupin move haha.

but that wasn't fair. and even now i still feel bad, i still hate myself for what i said and did, for how i acted and it scares me how easily people are forgiving me. because i said some messed up shit while i was splitting, and that's not an excuse. and i just keep thinking it's only a matter of time before i blow up again, and maybe i'll be worse next time. maybe people won't come back, and i can't honestly blame them because i'm fucked. and as scared as i am, i'm grateful. or maybe it's just selfish. selfish because i just hate when nobodies around for me to love, to love me back. but i'm still terrified. it's hard to change up my thinking, but i'm trying. i'm trying rlly hard and i just hope that it's enough.

i'm a couple hours clean for self harm, and yesterday i didn't technically eat a full meal like i was supposed too (my older sister got mad at me and wouldn't let me eat anything). i had multiple cookies, a fruit roll up, two cups of tea, a packet of uncooked ramen noodles, a bite of a chicken finger and also i drank water! just water! for the first time in a while.

i hate that it took me fighting with everyone i loved to the point where i didn't even need to push them away anymore, they went willingly, and having multiple panic attacks in public restrooms to finally start on the road to recovery. it is so fucking hard, it's really hard. but fuck, it's worth it to see my friends happy. to not detect worry in their eyes and to believe it when @my-elysian-love says they love me (again i'm so sorry for spamming you aaa). it's worth it to finally eat cinnamon buns again, and drink tea with real sugar, not cal free sweetener. i get a shit ton less headaches cuz i don't constantly need to count cals anymore, and i haven't passed out of dehydration in 2 whole days. ik people without eds are probably like "wtf is this bitch on about?" and that's what i'm talking about. recovery is never the same as sobriety, but it's the next best thing. and i might still struggle with my body or cover up with baggy clothes sometimes but at least i'm alive to do so. cuz a while ago i was too close to death.

i attempted to kill myself again. this time by starving and eating a buncha pills. i'm lucky cuz it didn't work, and i'm still alive. i can only think of what would've happened if it didn't work. if the last. thing i did was tell someone i loved and cared about that i didn't care if they were dead. that the last thing i did was get mad at them for feeling for someone else the same way i felt for them. yk, bpd moments ✨. but i'm glad i lived to apologize and now i'm trying to recover. and ig that's all the updates i have rn

[zylian]

Multiple Zy thoughts

I can’t wait for the possibility that when Subz logs on to start building ihob, Mapicc will probably be there and be so utterly confused on why Subz is back at spawn building and if he should let him be or do something about it. I wanna believe Mapicc prefers Subz around and won’t immediately jump him

Vortex should stream more he has been MIA for so long

I think it’s funny if no one believes bacon when he says he built ihob

When they mentioned the eclipse base multiple times and than they tell Parrot and he’s immediately like “Subz base?” I love this bird

Mapicc choosing to fight in the eclipse base with so many ppl cause he didn’t wanna waste such a cool base, appreciates a good setting

Everyone understanding why zams exiled but very confused on why Subz is exiled lmao

Parrot better sort out his yt chat I swear

Subz getting contract work as he is now a renowned builder

Zam has taught ppl how to dupe pearls and golden apples and they still just forget after the explanation

Spoke betrayed and I wanna know how

#zy live thoughts

[morganas-pendragons]

My Thoughts On Halo Infinite

So before I write the mother of opinions on this game, just a couple of things to note. I've been playing Halo since 2005-2006. I've always been someone who gets rather invested into stories, and this one was absolutely no exception considering the fact that: It mentions my favorite Halo game multiple times, and incorporates a character we technically have never seen in canon who is extremely crucial to John's character development as a young Spartan to this legend who has outlived virtually everyone he has ever loved.

Without further ado... my thoughts on Halo Infinite! spoilers for the campaign below. 

EDIT: I’m finishing this in the midst of my second playthrough, so I’ve added more! 

First off, let me tell you I was really skeptical about this at first. My brother and father didn't bother playing Halo 5 because I told them almost immediately how terrible the gameplay was and the story as well, and I played it twice before never going back to play it again. It was awful and the fans knew it was awful but after those Believe tv spots for Infinite were released I was like... okay. Okay, you've got my attention. Maybe I can give this a try and pray it's better then the previous.

If you're a veteran, this game was either one of your favorites or one of your least favorites. It's in my top 3. Halo 3, Infinite, and then Reach. And to be candid... the sole reason for it is because this is the only Halo game that takes the time to write an intricate and heartbreaking story about John's character and how Cortana and he are wound around each other.

There has not been one Halo game solely focusing on John. That's my biggest praise of Infinite in particular, the amount of effort and time they spent into doing something they'd never done before for a widely beloved character who grew leaps and bounds in this game.

Before I get into the thick of it, let me give my immediate likes and dislikes. The graphics are gorgeous. The NPC dialogue is so funny that I found myself in tears over it multiple times. The open world was a wonderful idea and prolongs the game for more enjoyment. The campaign story was extremely well written and bitter sweet by the end, but beautiful all the same. The music is new in its own right but incorporates music from the previous soundtracks.

Cons: No coop, no Arbiter OR The Swords of Sanghelios, you get no indication where Blue Team is unless you find the Audio Logs (which is stupid and the whole reason why they shouldn't have introduced them if they were just going to go away again) and that's literally it because I loved every aspect of this game LOL

Now, to the story.

We all know that John was indoctrinated from the age of six years old by Catherine Halsey who had chosen him and 70 some other children to, putting it candidly, be the saviors of humanity. He and a few others were the sole survivors of the Spartan 2’s. This also includes Blue Team. He, however, was deemed as one from the start who would outshine the others and serve a far greater purpose past being just a Spartan.

People are constantly talking about him. He has the highest rank in the miltary and exceeds the expectations placed upon him. But sometimes those expectations get to be too much, you know? 

That’s made obvious when we see his first real defeat - where the bad guy wins - when Atriox beats the absolute crap out of John and everything goes to hell in a matter of months. 

John goes MIA for six months and is pronounced dead. His world drastically shifts under his feet when he wakes up to the elated Pilot who believes the return of the Master Chief is the ticket he needs to be able to go home. The UNSC doesn’t exist anymore, and Cortana is dead. 

The relationship between John and Fernando is stellar for so, so many reasons. It’s one of the only relationships I can think of in game besides maybe Miranda and Johnson and Lasky where John is treated less like a soldier and more like a person. 

I’ve said this multiple times about the Halo show, and it applies here too. The whole purpose of Cortana for the Master Chief was initially to be advising with logistical and tactical advice on the battlefield. What she ended up teaching him in addition to that was how to be human. 

Something he would’ve never learned to do - and attempted to exercise in Infinite - had they not met. 

Removing the armor in the show is meant to show you, the viewer, that John is getting to the point where he’s trying desperately to grasp onto the little humanity he’s been permitted to experience. 

In the game, this is shown mostly through his interactions with The Weapon and the scene in the UNSC graveyard with The Pilot. 

Case in point... 

“I don’t know how you keep doing this.”

“I don’t have a choice. Maybe it’s my programming.” - John to The Weapon, Halo Infinite

“Let me know when you figure out which one of us is the machine.” Cortana to John, Halo 4

He’s being forced to face something he’s never been allowed to face before: Grief. He’s grieving Cortana, as he says many times through the countless mentions of If I had been able to do this, this could’ve been prevented and confessing to the Weapon that so much could’ve been prevented if he had just done more to protect Cortana. 

Because that’s what his mission was from the start when she chose him. They were meant to take care of each other, and they did. 

He was essentially betrayed by the person who became the one constant in his life, and there is this tiny human part of him that is desperate for relationships enough to the point where he wants to trust The Weapon. He can’t yet. 

The whole purpose of John keeping The Weapon at arms length is to protect himself from being hurt again. 

And doesn’t that sound familiar? 

I love what you as the player have to work through with John in this game. Arguably the best part is at the end where he has the flashbacks of Keyes, meeting Cortana, and their final goodbye in Halo 4. The whole point of that sequence is for you to understand John’s motivations over the last 7 years of canon and the depths of the loss he has experienced. 

Samuel. Cortana. Lasky. Halsey (probably, hopefully) both Jacob and Miranda Keyes, Avery Johnson... could LITERALLY keep going. 

No one should have to go through that much tragedy in less then 10 years. Literally everyone - outside of Blue Team, because it’s never confirmed if they’re actually dead or not, but i highly doubt it - is gone or deceased. That crap hurts. 

There are multiple sequences I could talk about here but the biggest thing I want to mention for people who have never read the novels is that you need to know about Samuel. The first loss, the worst loss, and one John carries with him for decades after the fact. 

In the scene where John nearly deletes The Weapon, he's asked to give three confirming phrases to the interface in his armor for confirmation.

What You Need To Know About Red Flag

034 - Samuel's Spartan Number.

Samuel - The final member of Blue Team who sacrificed himself to save them when John was barely sixteen years old, just in the first months of humanity's struggle with the covenant.

I didn't have a clue that Fall of Reach existed until I came across it on Youtube last year. Turns out most of Cortana's lines from Halo 3 before you find her on High Charity are things that John has heard over the course of his life! And let me tell you... the way I screamed when I heard all of these again after 14 years.... they just hold so much weight.

To put it shortly if you don't want to watch the movie: Samuel was John's first loss and one part of many reasons of why he does what he does. The movie itself is a fantastic service to John's character and I highly recommend watching it.

This game is fantastic. Say what you want, love whichever Halo you desire, but the depth of the emotional journey that goes into the main storyline for this game is the best out of all of them besides maybe Reach. Reach is the only other Halo game where you just.. lose. And there’s not anything you can do about it. 

John lost. He can’t do anything about it. He can try to rebuild the little that is left of the UNSC.. and he can hope it’s enough. 

At least he has people now. Because that will make it enough. 

#Halo Infinite #Halo meta #Halo #halo: infinite

[theorist-influencer-untitled]

9.30.23 Saturday

12:14 am

I have windblow...Windblow... Can't sleep... Thinking of my future angels. I need to keep a the job in Iqor, I need money and I have creditz..

I have windblow,windblow...

10:10 am

Done,taking my meds for today... hmm... Some good friends update me about the new work force to avoid a "sudden log-out" hala.....I need to pee... hahah... Seriously, I don't know this is a "challenger task" for me... I just need a job though it is a challenge for me, why they can and why I can't??? Whew! Where can I get a powerful back-up??? Will be 42 next month and I always feel defeated...

12:15 noon

Ah! Argh! Semi-bad news ... It is weird in Iqor for that wave wave or all call center? I'm just trying to grasp the substance of call center...

Talking on some friends about me being absent for a week, that I didn't get the troubled life of people in Iqor... That possibly if I'm gonna be rewaved, I need to be in a class where I left that particular day topic on calling phase or TCC ( taking customer call ). Potang inah angels! I borrowed money from Tala... Then, possible I will be on a pause just like Champi. Shit! What a bullshit work style...

I don't know what to feel but I know I feel the anxiety or stress now... Just now, I'm having mild left eye twitching due to semi-bad news. I WANNA LAUGH AND CRY AT THE SAME TIME...

I need money... I need money... I DON'T HAVE POWER... Another thing, I can't choose to stay or can't choose to be on a particular wave... PLUS, IF YOU ARE ON A PAUSE, NO SALARY...

If only I have powerful links... I know it is job and I'm giving my best to really grasp everything but you can't do it on overnight unless it is love just like some of the old particular scenario of "waking up married"....

Huh? Waking up married? Yeah...Yeah... Waking up married with someone hahaha...

I feel jealous if there are special than me and I wasn't able to get the power or someone got the power...

The last time I wanna be with Miles/ dread-locks guy, hoping for a "waking-up married" , it is a baggage thing for him, probably...

A wife is sometimes a baggage... Sorry for that and I didn't mean it these days... I have so many complex in me...

I also thought I was married with Mike but he is gone...

Whew! Que Sera Sera.... Will wait on October 3 what will happen to me?

Anxiety of not having the power or powerful links...

1:08 pm

LET'S TALK ABOUT POWER AND IF ONLY I HAVE IT...

Power is not bad, it is priviledge... It is somehow blessing....Power means free and licensed!

Meaning angels, hoping to just continue or just allow me to finsih my tcc even on the wave of Miles/dread-locks... Coz it is possibly to put me on a pause. If I'm gonna be on a pause meaning no work attendance, no salary....

2:27 pm

I feel the stress... I feel bitter and self-pity... What about my collagen, my sand dunes and botox... It will be christmas...

I need to think and think of money.

In a way I miss doing my abs but I need a job... I feel stress... Whew!

I feel irritated... Coz on other company once you are hired,you are hired!

I feel bitter...

SUPER STRANGE, are Mia and Champi hiding something at my back... Which I don't know...

I have windblow...Windblow...

6:18 pm

I need to do my abs angels... I feel so old,ugly,wrinkled and fat....

6:34 pm

I feel bitter...Windblow2x...

6:56 pm

I feel bitter... I have no successful job and no savings until now and no extra money for something...

I wasn't able to polish my teeth again, though it look ohkay but it is amalgam that I have to polish again... One of the reasons why, I don't smoke coz of I'm taking care of my teeth... I CAN'T GO BACK TO MY DENTIST... I LOVE KISSING SO MUCH! I always had have coffee stain on my teeth I really need to do a regular visit on my dentist.

I feel conscious.... I really feel fat and ugly and old angels... I'm not happy... My power on men are not that powerful... Aging for nothing...

We will have reunion in a lil while in IMMACULATE CONCEPTION ACADEMY. I feel self-pity and bitter... I can't get a success....I feel so small... I'm thinking,I'm gonna be a small i there.... So, many complex in me....Seeing them having kids and I lost my future and I lost my love life... I feel bitter and sad! I'm super sad and not my ideal life...I miss going to gym... I'm not really happy... I'm thinking of money... I feel so ugly...

8:13 pm

I'm bisexual angels but one at a time... If I have a relationship with a man, I'm on it 100%.

But I can sleep with a girl having a relationship of us or being a sisterhood. I know limits and boundaries...

I have windblow2x...

But I'm always wanting penis and a feeling of someone is stronger than my femininity.... I always wanted someone having a broad shoulder than me... I want to have an ideal normal life.

I only like Mitch, Ouen, and Mayee... Most specially Mitch,if we meet again, I can't behave anymore if I'm single... If I have a bf then I respect boundaries and limitations...

I like those girls coz of the package that they got looks and nice pure heart...

Jen of 468, she is not my type coz of her not having etiquette... But I'm a professional wavemate... If it is about work we're ohkay but more than that, no... Jen is pretty but when the time that she asked me if my nose is real from a distance... Huh? A turn off for me... Not my gf!

#Youtube