I'm back! Which is to say that I haven't forgotten I'm doing this (a miracle). Y'know what maybe it hasn't actually been as long as I thought it's been since I last did one of these. Although that one was prewritten. Hmmm.
Anyways *jazz hands*. You still get no context on this au. And if you are one of the people who has context on this au how did you find me? We do not share blorbos.
~~~
Xisuma seemed to be about ready to release the hermits back to their chaos and then he said, "Ah, and I believe before we end our meeting for the week Grian wanted to say something."
You don't have to say anything. Came the thought, before Grian said anything, and before Xisuma was even finished speaking.
As he stood anyone could see his anxiety. He looked squished where he was normally- well if not large he was standing tall. His hands were occupied with a fidget cube that, as Xisuma had called his name, he had started fidgeting with the slightest bit faster. He took a deep breath and he finally looked up at everyone.
“Well I have officially been with you guys, the Hermits that is, for four years and well. I know- I know plenty well that I would never have to disclose anything to everyone so long as, well so long as it didn’t put anyone else in danger and. Well, anyway I uh wanted to be honest, perfectly transparent even, about- well about what I am?" He freezes, understanding G's warning with perfect clarity. "Which, well looking at me you’d say, ‘well Grian obviously you’re a player,’ but that’s so vague and frankly not even entirely true-" and Grian's wings pop out, too glowy and iridescent to be anything natural, "I am actually a Watcher. The- the circumstances aren’t, well, necessary-”
“Aren’t necessary?” From across the room, just out of Zed’s sight line, Tango has apparently gone from ‘bored of the meeting’ to ‘literally hot-headed’. Of the hermits he can see most of them look surprised. He can even see that Etho’s eyebrows are raised. “You’re telling us that you’re a world destroying being and that we’ve allowed you to just roam freely and wreak havoc,” Impulse and Doc give him downright incredulous looks at this, “for four years?!”
“No, Tango I-”
His hair erupts- he slams his hands on the table- Impulse and Doc finally stand up, they start dragging him out and he’s screaming, he’s yelling something but none of the sounds are reaching his temporal lobe. He looks to Grian who is as pale as Zedaph- as anyone has ever probably seen him, Scar and Mumbo are comforting him as he stares at where Tango was, shaking in his seat. The hermits are shifting their focus from the spectacle that Tango made of himself to Grian.
Xisuma, ever vigilant and ever caring for all of his hermits spoke before anyone else could. “Grian.” His gaze shifts and Xisuma continues, “Do you have anything else to say or would you like everyone to leave now?”
Grian takes his time, clearly thinking, and everyone gives him time. Xisuma’s hand rests next to his arm, as close to touching him for his attention as he gets. Before he can turn to look at him though Grian speaks up. “I just.” His voice is just barely above a whisper. “All I need to know is if anyone else’s opinion on me has changed. Just if anyone else is- is angry or- or hates me.”
No one says anything.
“No Grian. We all still love you just the same.”
He visibly shudders after Xisuma says that, and just breathes for a few moments. Grian's head meets the table, and Scar says, "Ok, G-Man's about peopled out now. Xisuma?"
Xisuma makes his hand known again as he says, "Alright then everyone. That's the end of our meeting this week. I of course can always be contacted to talk about today meetings as well as next weeks, however I will have to ask that we do that elsewhere as I'm sure no one wants to be here any longer. Back to your regular chaos my friends."
Everyone begins to stand and leave, those nearest offering Grian a few words, and before he can move to join them Xisuma turns to him and asks in an undertone, "Are you alright?"
He thinks for a moment and says, "Just peachy, Xisuma! I do rather fancy a nap for this afternoon though." Xisuma smiles and releases him without a fuss.
"Grian," he says when they meet up later, "were you ready to do that?"
"Oh absolutely not." He replies. "I could’ve gone another year at least without Doc looking at me like a lab experiment." He holds up his still shaking hand. "And uh Tango was frankly a tad bit worse to experience than I thought he was going to be."
Zed isn't entirely sure what his face does but it causes Grian to adopt this unbearably soft- perhaps even besotted- look on his face and move his hand from extended between them to touching his cheek and before he can speak and make it worse Zed asks him, Why did you do it then?
"Because you were." Is his immediate and breathtakingly kind answer. He knows this time, that his face turns doubtful, because he is as such. Grian's other hand comes up to his other cheek and he says, "You are."
He says it with such conviction that he almost believes him on the spot and then he continues, "You have been for quite a while Zedaph. The only thing holding you back was not knowing Tango's reaction."
The reminder of his friends explosive reaction had him cringing, almost out of his friends hold until Grian's arms were suddenly around his back and he was saying, "Which-" I will let you know as soon as he pulls his head out of his ass, with a little scribble almost of Tango looking like a doused cat.
The image pulls a giggle out of him and he asks, Do you really think that he will?
He will. Grian says. I know he will, and he adds an impression of a scribble of him holding an empty water bucket over Tango's head. This brings full-on snickers out of him, and he snickers right up until he realizes that Grian just told the whole server he was a Watcher for him.
He put aside his own fears to assuage Zed's singular fear and before he knows it he is no longer snickering but sobbing into Grian's shoulder and sending as many desperate thank you's to him as he coherently can. Grian manages the emotional/thought equivalent of a weighted blanket over his thank you's, and he tightens his hold on him and everything is right with the world for a little while.
They stand there for a while, Zed crying and Grian holding him. Until Grian ruins the moment by whispering, "So I don't suppose you'd pay for the dry cleaning for my sweater?" and they both crack up.
He is unfathomably grateful that Grian is in his life in the manner that he is.
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