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cupidlovesastro · 5 months

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𝔞𝔰𝔱𝔯𝔬𝔩𝔬𝔤𝔶 𝔬𝔟𝔰𝔢𝔯𝔳𝔞𝔱𝔦𝔬𝔫𝔰 #7

♢ pisces moon, venus, or mars tend to bring up assumptions they’ve had, as facts when they’re upset. like for example, if they have had the hunch that you’ve been doing something sneaky, in an argument they’re going to tell you how your a sneaky person even if that’s not true at all

♢ similar to what i said about pisces, aries sun, moon, venus, or mars can also bring up assumptions as facts. aries are impatient, witty, and often jump to conclusions because of their impulsive nature. they can also get extremely hostile extremely fast, mainly if it’s in mars or sun

♢ ascendant, sun, or venus aspecting pluto can mean you change your style often. like this week you may be hippie vibes and next week your could be grunge lol

‧₊˚ ⋅☆₊ ⁺˚⋆｡°✩₊ ‧₊˚ ⋅☆₊ ⁺˚⋆｡°✩₊ ‧₊˚ ⋅☆₊ ⁺˚⋆｡°✩₊ ‧₊˚ ⋅☆₊

♢ mercury in the 10th house, or 10th degree can mean this person has a hard time explaining things or talking in general. they may stutter, slur their words, have a lisp, or thick accent

♢ lilith aspecting your moon can mean your dark side comes from within your emotions. your emotions can become destructive and ugly. they can also lead you into doing bad things that you’ll regret later on. you act on your emotional urges

♢ jupiter opposite, square, or conjunct mars can mean your anger is explosive, bold, and obvious. they could be the type to scream and throw things if they’re angry enough and it’s hard to calm them down

‧₊˚ ⋅☆₊ ⁺˚⋆｡°✩₊ ‧₊˚ ⋅☆₊ ⁺˚⋆｡°✩₊ ‧₊˚ ⋅☆₊ ⁺˚⋆｡°✩₊ ‧₊˚ ⋅☆₊

♢ capricorn in the 2nd house can mean this individual is extremely money driven. this person could want to live the rich luxury lifestyle and care about their possession and materialistic side of things. they definitely do not play around about their values, and their coworkers could admire them for their work ethic

♢ where libra is in your chart can mean that’s where you need to focus on balance in your life

ex: libra in moon can mean you need to balance your emotions

libra in sun can mean you need to balance your ego or your self expression

♢ mercury in 9th house can make a great modern day philosopher. this person could do speeches or books on these topics as well. they could also go traveling and spreading their word too, or speak on a platform with a large audience

♢virgo/gemini risings are probably often told that they are baby faced because they are! they will always look younger than their actual age. mercury aspecting rising can enhance this feature

♢leo chiron can mean that you need to heal your ego. you need to find your self expression, or remember what parts of yourself are truly you. you struggle with your identity , and you need to find yourself again

‧₊˚ ⋅☆₊ ⁺˚⋆｡°✩₊ ‧₊˚ ⋅☆₊ ⁺˚⋆｡°✩₊ ‧₊˚ ⋅☆₊ ⁺˚⋆｡°✩₊ ‧₊˚ ⋅☆₊

♢sedna(90377) aspecting sun can mean that your rejection to growth and change, can cause you do not find your identity and who you are. it can also mean that there are parts of yourself that you refuse to look into because your scared of what you might see and remember

♢sedna(90377) in aquarius can mean you rebel quite extremely. you could’ve done really destructive things that could’ve lead to you having more wounds that you need to heal. you could’ve had trauma on the internet or from a group of people. when you needed a certain community, they weren’t there, or if you vented/ ranted on social media, your community did not support you

♢fire sign in cupido(763) can mean you have crushes that come and go pretty fast. one week your into this person, the next week your into that person 😭

♢mars square, opposite, or conjunct mercury can mean that when your mad, you say the harshest things you can think of. it’s also their completely impulsive or something you’ve been thinking of for a long time

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bg-brainrot · 1 month

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Sorry to bring the horny but what are your spicy headcanons for Astarion? (Ascended and spawn version)

No need to apologize anon-- this is a safe space for horny 🫰🏽

And ooo I haven't done any spicy headcanons before! I've only done the rogue!Tav ones before, but let me take a crack at it since I definitely have thoughts 🧐

Let's see... Spicy Astarion Headcanons w/GN!Tav (18+ Explicit warning ⚠️ all are set post-personal quest ⚠️ TW: Astarion's trauma)

Spawn Astarion

While he's not wholly comfortable engaging in intimacy for a while, he does enjoy exploring, testing out new ways to touch each other, figuring out what he likes/dislikes. There are stumbles along the way, and his healing journey is naturally not linear, but when he finds a few things he does like, the two of you are all too eager to capitalize on them.

One of those things is how much he enjoys looking into your face as you come. Whether you're in his lap, standing in front of him, laying before him-- he's finds it so much easier to stay connected and in the moment when he's looking directly into your eyes, watching you come undone to his touch.

Always a playful man, he also relishes taking his time with foreplay. Long, lingering touches, deep, kneading massages, soft, brushing lips... it's almost painful how slowly he enjoys taking his time to work you up, enjoys the same in return. But, gods, is it just as lovely.

Once he realizes how much you enjoy the sound of his voice, whispered right into your ear-- he can't stop murmuring loving little things to you. At first, you worry it's an act. After all, so were his initial sweet, honeyed words. But when he's losing all control, moaning a stuttering 'I love you' into your ear as his movements falter, you know that none of this is an act.

Despite maintaining a lot of his composure with you initially-- again, an act-- once he feels safe, comfortable in your arms, his carefully crafted composure falls to something real and a lot more sloppy. His dexterity and control seems to plummet in the heat of the moment, his fingers stumble in his eagerness. More than a few times, the two of you are left laughing, breathless as he finishes quickly or your latest exploration fails.

While he's happy to pleasure you, it takes some experimentation before he's comfortable with you reciprocating. In part because it's what he was used to, seducing targets for Cazador, but also because he's just not sure what he likes. The first time he enjoys your pleasuring him, you do it over his clothing, slowly, grinding the full length of him as he directs your hand with his.

More than anything, he needs to feel you, warm and alive, pressed against him after the fact. Sweaty, hair askew, blood usually trickling from a bite wound, he loves you most post-climax. And whether or not you'll have another go is immaterial, because, in the moment, all he wants is to drown himself in your mortality.

He never says it, but many of his favorite things are things he was never able to do in the 200 years of cruelty under Cazador. Looking into your eyes, telling you he loves you genuinely, taking his time, messing up-- all of them are new for him, ways of reclaiming his body and his sexuality.

Since beginning to re-explore his boundaries, his favorite situation together is you seated in his lap, your foreheads pressed together, your hands clutching his shoulders for support while he rolls into you, his own hands gripping your ass. When he's close, he whispers onto your lips, "Gods, you feel so good. Love, I-I can never last with you like this, can I?" When he comes, his lips meet yours, his hands wrap around your back-- as if trying to meld you to him.

Ascended Astarion

After ascending, he is eager to try out all of the new things his power affords him-- this includes his new body heat. With your own new undead form, he feels all the more alive. The first time he realizes what a thrill it is to have your cold body pressed against his heat, he can't get enough. He spends an entire day directing you to touch him, shivering in the wake of your chill touches.

And now that he can taste, he also wants to taste you-- everywhere. Not just your blood, but your sweat, your tears as you come for him. He will lap at you like a man possessed, all the while telling you how good you taste, how he would tear the hells apart for a mere drop of your release. His mouth, already such a potent drug, is relentless in its exploration of your flavors.

When it comes to the other attributes of mortal men he's received, why, his sex drive is through the roof. Every time he sees you make someone grovel before you, witnesses you exert your power, he can feel himself growing hard at the sight. More than anything, he wants to take you right then and there -- but he stills his hand, waiting until the day you're both seated on his throne.

While he doesn't go so far (yet), he makes no move to hide how he feels about you, often demanding your attention afterward with no more than a look, a finger curl, and a lick of his lips. It's a silent claim as well, showing anyone brave enough to watch whose consort you are.

As his consort, he will do everything in his power to ensure that you're taken care of. This means that, even if you think you're satisfied, Astarion will continue to tend to you, bringing you to climax after climax. It's only when you're left an utter, blubbering mess that he knows he's done enough.

He loves feeling that control over your pleasure. Above all else, he loves knowing that you, a powerful adventurer, crumble before him like anyone else. That thought drives him-- it means he fucks you often, he fucks you hard, and hells does he fuck you at a pace the gods would balk at.

As far as his own satisfaction goes, he's quite vocal about it now. He tells you exactly what he wants and when he wants it. When you stray the course, try something new, his hand is at your head, your neck, your waist-- keeping you right where he wants you.

He's also quite liberal in his praise of you, always ready to tell his beautiful consort what a pretty little mess they are for him, how lovely they feel when they clench around him, how their body could bring the very world to ruin with its perfection.

Since ascending, his new favorite situation is you on your knees, cold mouth around his cock, eyes watering, hands desperately trying to pleasure yourself, all while he looks down at you with half-lidded eyes, holding your head in place, whispering down silky sweet words of encouragement, "That's it, my treasure. Yes, gods, you take me so well. More. More. Yes, just like that. Give me everything." After he spends himself into your mouth, he will always be quick to bend down for a kiss, eager to taste himself on your lips.

#anon #anon ask #astarion #astarion x tav #bg3 headcanons #astarion headcanons #spawn Astarion #ascended astarion #astarion x gn!tav #astarion x gn reader #i hope these make sense lol #i dont know how to write headcanons i think but they're fun!

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kittyit · 1 year

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This is a long and loaded ask so feel free to delete but it's completely earnest

I've been a radfem for about 3-4 years now (radfemhagen but I got termed) and honestly I still struggle w genuine dysphoria. All the reading, critical thinking, talking w detrans women is definitely eye opening and helped me but it hasn't healed me of my ~gender feels~ if you know what I mean. I remember trying to get tips from other blogs but all I remember was something about doing physical labor with other women or just being around other women but that isn't helping either, I'm so disgusted by my female body and how I'm seen (especially by men and especially as a lesbian) and it's just getting worse. I've been thinking about going on a low dose of T even but I know there's other options to coping, like there HAS to be SOMETHING. I can't just will it out anymore.

Help a gyn out

this and it's probably better saved for an essay but i felt moved to respond to you straight up. i'm going to explain three really important parts of my journey to a place where i almost never experience the intense and life-disrupting distress around my sex (diagnosed as dysphoria) except in times of extreme stress, and even then it's fleeting.

one essential thing i did was stop thinking of transition as an option for myself. this is something i see a lot of detrans/desisted women struggle with. i think this is a mental trap. "if i don't feel better in x amount of time or when i do x, i'll transition" removes the urgency and necessary nature of working through the distress around your sex. i've written in a few pieces about when my girlfriend max asked me to not do it 3 days before my first t shot, it genuinely felt like the last light in a dark harbor going out. i felt utterly hopeless. i felt like my last solution had been taken from me and i would never feel better.

i came to my decision to never pursue transitional medicine first through listening from my girlfriend and other detrans women. to take seriously the pain & trauma detrans women go through. to listen when they said this did not help me, this was not help, it did not fix these feelings of distress. to listen to detrans women is to understand that transitional medicine is an unethical practice being done by unethical practitioners. it's also to understand that this solution is not what it's presented as. taking these women's experiences and analysis seriously meant ruling it out as a coping mechanism for myself, ever. but there are so many reasons to make the decision not to participate in transition medicine - political & practical. not giving money to surgeons who traffic in literal female flesh. not wanting to risk all of the under-studied, ignored negative long-term health effects. not wanting to signal to the women around you that there is no way to survive as a woman like you without transitional medicine. defiance of new patriarchal expectations for women like you. defiance of the pressures that tell you that this is the thing that will make you feel better - like makeup, like labiaplasty, like breast implants, like an elective double mastectomy. defiance in general.

so the first thing was to stop thinking of transitioning as an option. i said no. the second thing was to stop thinking of my distress as dysphoria. to un-diagnose myself with this word that means i need to take T and get a mastectomy and undergo phalloplasty to have a chance of ever being happy. you mention disgust for your body, you mention disgust for how you're seen by men and as a lesbian. disgust for yourself on these points is anger at patriarchy, lesbian-hating society & men turned inward on yourself instead of the people who deserve it. it's an impulse of someone dealing with oppression to blame one's self for it and think there are things we can do to escape it. it's no different than a woman trapped in domestic violence obsessing over what she could have done differently to not set him off this time - the right dinner, place setting, clothing & tone. the idea that woman- and lesbian-hating can be escaped as easily as transitional medicine claims it can is simply not true. the experiece of a woman who passes as a man is another exerperience of womanhood, still under the bell jar of misogyny.

what helped me with these feelings of distress was pinpointing exactly where they came from and what they meant. i know this isn't helpful for everyone. but it's almost like going deeper and deeper on the feeling make it more and more clear what needed to be addressed. here's one spiral to the center: i want to chop off my tits → why? → i hate my breasts → why? → they feel ugly and disgusting → why? → i got them so young, they're so large and people stare → why does that bother you? → i feel so ugly and out of place → why does that bother you? → i feel so alone and worthless → how do you feel? → i feel lonely → what do you need? → i need connection.

"i want to chop off my tits" is not a coherent feeling - every human alive has complex reasons for the things they say, think and do. if you can get to the bottom of where these sensations and feelings and disturbances diangosed as dysphoria are coming from, you can figure out how to address them. what is the feeling at the bottom, what is going unaddressed? and quite honestly a lot of the time it's not an easy answer. sometimes the answers are super hard to grapple with. sometimes the need cannot be fulfilled or are very difficult to fulfill. but once you've decided that transition is not on the table, the quest to find those answers becomes a lot more essential.

this isn't something anyone is really meant to do alone. when i hear you say you hate being seen as a lesbian and how men treat you, i hear an inherent isolation in that. i could be wrong, i know a lot of people can still feel lonely when they have a strong support system, but i would say the majority of women do not have the kind of friend group and number of connections they need to be socially supported. so another big part of this is breaking out of isolation and being around other women who "get it" - whether virutally or in real life. humans are a pack animal and this is an isolating age.

so that's my three parter to your question

1. say no to transitional medicine

2. undiagnose yourself with dysphoria and instead figure out why you're feeling what you're feeling

3. seek out friendship, community, and ways of thought that can help you address those feelings

#also I have a dysphoria tag with lots of other Women’s thoughts!!#dysphoria #detrans #d/r #detransition

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takami-takami · 1 year

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Stray Dogs Will Crawl Home.

includes— hawks x reader. minors dni. angst (with a happy ending).

warnings— gn!reader. breakups. keigo's trauma because i can't give this man a break and he needs to heal.

For better or for worse, Keigo has always been thrust into the role of decision maker.

Sure, on the inside, his emotions pick and chew at his open wounds; but the man has driven the proverbial and literal knife into far too many backs to hesitate when he leaves you.

He can do what needs to be done. It's for your own good. You deserve more than half a man, more than the scraps of whatever is left crawling to your door after another day of putting his goals of building a peaceful society before you.

The night before he left you, stone-faced to contrast your tears and begs of 'why' on the cold of your doorstep, he lay on his side and watched you sleep. Tracing the bridge of your nose with the tip of a finger, he wondered, throat tight, what you'd think of him if you knew the truth of what he's done.

He can't bear to offer you a man who's already sold himself. You shouldn't have to shoulder the weight of his sins. He tells himself it's for the greater good, but under the cobwebs of his bed, he knows a smaller, childlike voice is telling him you deserve someone who isn't dirtied by a life counting shades of moral grey.

It aches like he's dying, sure, but that's what hero work is for, right? He can throw himself into the trenches, hour after hour, until the sun looms over the horizon and the lovebirds' chirps announce the arrival of another morning without you.

For what everyone in the media says about him being a 'golden boy', he just doesn't feel the sun without you.

His subordinates ask more than a few questions about the bags under his eyes, why his glowing smile has fizzled to a mere plastic performance. It's even easier to brush them off than it was to brush off you, to smile wider and turn the question on them— an unspoken order to fucking drop it.

But Keigo's kryptonite, the deep burn that itches under the layers of his skin, is that he's well aware of what happens after someone like you becomes single. The thought crawls under the remains of his bones, and as he perches on the highest point of the city, he makes the mistake of allowing himself to entertain it. If he wasn't weighed down under the drags of sleep deprivation, he'd curse himself for being so weak.

Deep down, he knows what happens after the weeks of digging through tubs of comfort food on the couch are over. You'll stop sobbing over the phone with your best friend. You'll probably start scheduling little dates with people who remind you less and less of him with each passing one.

You're going to move on.

Someone else's fingers will press against your skin. Someone else's quips will cause you to laugh into your sleeve, someone else will hear your shaky breaths under the cover of the night, someone else will whisper promises they can't keep.

Someone else is going to make a spouse of you.

He winces. Shaking his head to clear his thoughts, he takes a single stride off the ledge and surges upwards with the beat of his wings.

He makes a note to add another shift to his schedule. Maybe two.

Are you thinking of him? If you were here, he knows you'd tell him to be open with you, to stop 'being so goddamn stubborn'. You'd tell him he deserves a break from pushing his emotions down, that you knew damn well what you signed up for when you decided to be his, and to just trust your judgement for once.

To make matters worse, you'd frame it sweet, hook the words around his heart like a taffy lasso, make it so he can't resist. You do know how much he likes it sweet.

It picks at the anger thrumming in his veins. You expect him to lay himself bare? To expose the rawest parts of him, despite the commission's repeated orders not to? You expect him to be selfish?

Why does he want so badly to be selfish?

He should definitely add two more shifts to his schedule.

His phone begins to ring, startling him from his musings. He knows exactly who it is from the first note. Your favorite song plays on his speaker; the one you confessed reminds you of him, with your thumb swiping over the raised hairs on his skin. His heart hammers in the cavity of his chest, pleading to be let out.

He can't be fucking rid of you. Keigo's heart, his mind, his very bones crackle with the fire he frantically tries to put out. God, he wants to burn, wants to drag himself by his fingertips to the door of your chapel and beg you to just finish him off. He wouldn't mind serving as the ash of your incense. He'd do anything for a chance to fill your lungs.

Shit. He scrambles to dig his phone from his pocket, nearly dropping it like hot coals when he attempts to pick it up.

"H-Hey, sweetheart!" He cringes at the puppy-like excitement in his voice at the mere sound of yours. "I'm s-sor— I," he stutters for far too long before he finally gives up. Sighing into the speaker, resigned, he squeezes his eyes shut and says exactly what his mind is screaming he shouldn't.

"Can we talk?"

#GRIPPING KEIGO IN MY FIST. HEAL DARN YOU.#hawks x reader #keigo takami x reader #🖋 writing #🍧 sugar #bnha x reader #mha x reader

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gothushi · 2 months

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okay so i haven’t found anywhere to watch the full episodes nor do i know any context of the show/his character so this’ll just be like.. my own interpretation/ideas? if anyone does have anywhere i can watch the as if episodes he’s in from in the US please lemme know:D

starting off a bit deep, i think he struggles with some mental health issues, possibly some trauma from a past relationship or a family member, (considering how he freaked when he had his photo taken suddenly with his shirt off) i won’t detail much bc i’m still thinking on it

so, due to that above, i think he needs to learn consent and communication is extremely important to him. it probably causes some issues early on in your relationship, he probably walks out a lot when he gets upset, takes time to cool off and then comes crawling back with tears and an apology (you eventually get him into therapy)

probably works at the local library. likes organizing things and putting everything where they go, and his favorite section is the CD’s

sappy and cliche as it is, he loves dancing with you in the kitchen of your little apartment. 2am, making something sweet to satisfy a late night craving, a CD playing in the radio on low volume. he’ll spin you around, sway with you, grinning all big as he leans forward to kiss your head

really likes getting spanked. yes i’ll elaborate later

after a few months, instead of walking out when he’s upset, (even if he still shuts down and is just quiet for a bit) he likes laying down with you in bed. lets you hold him, rub your hands over his back and arms, press gentle kisses to his skin, it helps calm him more than he knows (inspired from one clip i’ll either add to this or post separately)

could make out with you for HOURS i mean it. sat in bed up against the wall or headboard, you in his lap or laid on his chest, kissing messy until you’re both drooling and barely able to breathe, he likes that, a lot. also grabbing at you, very handsy in a gentle way

back to spanking in more detail. it was a fun little thing at first, a little playful slap here or there, either during the day randomly or during sex. after he gets into therapy and whatnot, he actually asks if it can be used like an actual punishment, something to ground his mind if he gets angry or upset even if it isn’t directed at you. so bend him over your lap, hold an arm behind his back and spank until he cries. he’ll wiggle, kick his feet, whine in that cute little tone, but once the tears fall he’s learnt his lesson and he’s done. comfort him with some kisses while rubbing his back and thighs, and then let him fuck into you until his hearts content

speaking of fucking ^ possessive, growls, groans, whines, all kinds of noises into your neck or against your mouth. pins you down and lays his body over yours, flesh to flesh, hips chasing a sloppy rhythm against your own while he mouths at your neck

likes groping you, during sex or randomly. will grab at your tits over your shirt, massage the muscles in your thighs while you ride him, grab at your tummy when he hugs you from behind

really really really likes cute dates with you, go to the park with him, go on a picnic, go to the movies. it helps unknowingly heal the part of him that he lost in earlier years due to his issues and trauma

very affectionate, kisses your forehead a lot, holds your hand or side hugs you when out in public, will definitely be the boyfriend to make out with you standing on the sidewalk or in the corner of a cafe

also really likes you play with his hair, lets you braid it, comb it for him, tuck it behind his ears whilst he’s smiling at you all big and giddy, loves you grabbing it and pulling it during sex

#neil newbon #neil newbon x reader #neil newbon as if #seb as if #seb as if x reader

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glade-constellation · 5 months

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“We’re going to literally spell out why the bad guy is bad, and how to help them, but do nothing about it because they are Bad Guy™️ and bad guys can’t change.”

The current running theme for every single fucking villain in TSAMS. A running theme I viscerally hate with my entire being. I think KC was the only one to escape this, but even then they just killed him off later.

For a show that seems to want to handle sensitive and heavy topics, they sure as hell never handle them well. Listen, if a majority of your audience is young teens, you need to be careful with the story you tell and what might be taken from it. TSAMS is teaching its audience that bad people will never change.

That’s just not true. At all.

Often people who act out do so because of past trauma. Trauma can be healed with time and therapy. Yes, it’s difficult, especially when the person says they don’t want to heal. But you can do it. Did you know that rejecting help can be a subconscious survival tactic? It doesn’t instantly mean that the person wants to be bad, or wants to stay bad. They are simply living in survival mode, and their brain thinks the way they currently act is the only way to survive.

Just because Bloodmoon says they can’t be helped doesn’t mean it’s true. And it definitely doesn’t mean they immediately deserve death. Yes, they have done terrible things, but nearly everything they’ve done has been ordered of them by another person. That, or their coding. The coding may be a harder thing to fix, but listen. Look at your current cast. You can’t tell me Moon and Solar couldn’t work together to fix it. Or Earth couldn’t help them with therapy and they’d eventually turn to killing just animals. There are so many ways Bloodmoon could be helped, but no. Just no. They don’t want to be helped, so we won’t go out of our way to try.

It’s just so unbelievably frustrating that several fans have pointed this out and the show doesn’t seem to care. Bloodmoon has room to be redeemed, even now, but the show doesn’t want that. They seem to be stuck on this idea the Bloodmoon can’t be redeemed.

And it’s not like this is a new theme they’re trying to tell for the story. No, this has been around since Eclipse. Yes, Sun and Moon did try to help Eclipse in the beginning, but help is a strong word. It was more like they tried to bargain with him. No one actually tried to help. And the moment the bargaining didn’t work, they just dubbed him the villain and turned against him. In the end, Eclipse tried to help. It was pretty terribly done, yeah. But he was trying. He even gave up his one piece of power and told Moon he could send him anywhere in the multiverse. But no, the only way out was through death. I get that Eclipse did a lot of terrible things. I get that a large majority of the cast had their own trauma because of Eclipse. But he could have been helped. We have seen moments where he wanted help, but would immediately turn back to his survival tactics. Eclipse was bad, but he didn’t have to die.

Anyways, they already taught the “villains always bad” story with Eclipse. They don’t need to retell it with Bloodmoon. That’s just reusing old parts of the story.

The only reason I don’t bring Ruin up is because Ruin was different from all the others. There wasn’t anything that made him a villain besides the fact that he was a virus. There was no “sad backstory”. He just was evil. That is how you write a villain you want your audience to love but still want to kill off in the end. Ruin was fun to watch, and a great villain, and I wasn’t mad when they got rid of the virus. I was attached but not at the emotional level as I am with Eclipse, KC, and Bloodmoon. He had no backstory to make me want him to live. I love a villain that is enjoyable to watch but don’t mind when they’re gone. That is how you write a good villain you don’t want people to riot about afterwards.

This has just turned into me ranting about storytelling and character analysis, but honestly. TSAMS. Do better. A good portion of your fan base is screaming for a Bloodmoon redemption. Why are you pushing so hard for people to hate them? You’ve already told the plot line you’re currently trying to sell. What is the point of just upsetting your fans?

#🌟 Ten Talks #tsams #sams #the sun and moon show #sun and moon show #tsams bloodmoon #tsams eclipse #tsams killcode #tsams ruin #long post #not super long but long enough

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subconsciousmysteries · 9 months

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"Integration is healthy and disintegration is unhealthy" is an overly simplistic, spiritual bypassing view to throw in the bin. I'm going to invite you to view it in a different way.

Integration is your heaven. Your light. It represents what you aspire to embody, but feel scared to embody, or cannot seem to embody no matter how hard you try. You do not have enough personal development, insight or healing to embody your integration type properly. False security is when you embody your integration type in a shallow way. You indulge in your integration type without having done enough healing to make the transformation secure, deep-rooted and long-term. You're reaching up to heaven but your roots don't reach down to hell, and so your extension is very short-lived. The excess branches you have grown to reach up to your integration type quickly die or worse, get infected, as your root system down in hell is not strong enough to sustain the tree. After periods of false security you are left with a lot of trauma, a big mess in your life, and you get pulled right back into your disintegration type's grip. You indeed can integrate in an unhealthy way... and you can also disintegrate in a healthy way. Keep reading.

Disintegration is your hell. It represents your natural stress response, your toxic coping mechanism, the thing you just really hate in yourself and in other people, your default way of overcompensating for your core type's missing pieces, your darkness. Inside your disintegration type is a wealth of secrets and wisdom that you need to uncover, including your wounded inner child. When we analyze our disintegration type and our own personal disintegration experiences, we learn a lot about ourselves. We can only learn what we are missing and what we need to work on from our disintegration type, not from our integration type. Healthy disintegration provides us the necessary foundation that we need in order to reach up towards our integration type. Disintegration is not something to be resisted the same way that cleaning your room and doing exercise is not something to be resisted just because it doesn't feel good. Conscious Disintegration is an essential part of shadow work. It is what Carl Jung would call "making the unconscious conscious".

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Integration and disintegration are definitely not the same. But they are also not black and white, "one is good and the other is bad". If you view it this way you are bound to bypass your necessary shadow work and end up in a cycle of false security and extreme disintegration.

#enneagram #enneagram 1 #enneagram 2 #enneagram 3 #enneagram 4 #enneagram 5 #enneagram 6 #enneagram 7 #enneagram 8 #enneagram 9 #shadow work #carl jung #personality theory #typology #integration #disintegration

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makeitastrength · 2 months

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Thoughts on the episode??

Okay so, I have A LOT of thoughts, anon. And thank you for your patience with my answer. I generally like to rewatch the ep before posting my thoughts so I have time to calm down and make sense of things.

Let’s start with things I loved:

The accidental proposal scene. Oh my god. I could write a novel (and I might write a fic) on the emotions you could see in their faces in that scene! When Alexi said there was a scene that would launch a thousand gifs, I’m assuming he meant that one (and he was right)

The dance! I love that Tim came to find her despite being mad. And that he was ready to talk. And I will never be over the way he holds her so close and that they’re almost leaning their heads together as they have that conversation

Lucy’s I love you, of course! These two have affirmed how serious they are and that they’re going to make this work numerous times now. They haven’t actually done the hard work yet, though. I think it’s gonna be fun (and probably absolutely heartbreaking at times) to watch them realize how hard they’re gonna have to fight for it

Lastly, the writers are setting up a great storyline for Aaron this season, and I’m interested to see how that plays out. It’s clear he’s struggling but is more focused on getting back on duty than actually healing. I’m actually really looking forward to how that unfolds. I’m also glad Harper was able to see what’s going on and give Celina some guidance on how to support him in a healthy way, and that Celina was able to take that to heart

Okay, next up: things I’m a little unsure about. I’ll admit, my initial reaction to the lie detector scene and resolution of the chenford fight wasn’t super positive. With my rewatch I’ve come around to it a little more. Tim definitely has trauma and he’s definitely been denying it. Which is what he’s really always done, so it makes sense.

I think what bugs me is that it makes the issue seem one-sided when, from my perspective, there’s absolutely no way Lucy isn’t also battling some internal conflict about this. She knows he’s still traumatized, which to me means she has to be wondering how her going UC is going to impact their relationship. I don’t see how she can’t be also harboring some worries. And I think Tim was right when he said she was projecting. My hope is that they unpack her feelings about it this season as well.

I’m holding off my overall judgement until the entire thing plays out, because I know this was just one piece of it. They’ve set up a complex issue for these two, so I’m hoping the resolution is given the screen time and care it deserves.

But I do think Tim finally working to come to terms with his trauma is a good start. He’s come a long way, and you can tell he so badly wants to be supportive of Lucy. He’s trying SO HARD. And his admission at the end that he’ll work on it because his trauma shouldn’t hold her back from her dreams… I LOVED that conversation. I think it was so important for him to realize that and for Lucy to hear him say it.

And lastly: the one thing I still didn’t like after rewatching is the I love you portion of the lie detector scene. I just don’t like that Lucy felt she needed a lie detector to prove that. Maybe that wasn’t how they meant it. Maybe they meant it to be interpreted as her asking because she knew it was true and was testing the machine. But to me it doesn’t come across that way and it’s just not my favorite.

But overall, I thought it was a fun episode! Can’t believe we made it to 100! Here’s to 100 more!!

#chenford #the rookie #tim bradford #lucy chen #6x02 #the rookie 6x02 #the rookie 100th

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0nlythrowharrybeaux · 10 months

Note

Hellooo i’m sending you a request if you’re up for it (it’s heavy, sorry 😑) What if Y/N and Harry were good friends and a bit more, but she has been sexually molested as a child and she has never told anyone apart from her mom and her therapist. And they’re coming home from a very cute date but she starts feeling really bad when they start making out and he wants more… (I’m not sure if she’d tell him though)

Hello friend! Yes of course! I think it's important to have stories like this revolving around traumas and painful situations that are very real and that so many people have experienced and it's important to acknowledge that. I appreciate you sending this request in! I apologize for the delay, I've been so busy so it took me a bit to have some time to sit down and write this I definitely didn't want to half-ass something this important, so thank you for your patience. I I hope it lives up to your expectations 🫶🏻

And of course, if you or someone you know has been SA'ed it is never too late to get the mental health help you need to start the healing process and to work through this trauma. You deserve closure, healing, and all of the unconditional love & support that therapy can provide! 🩷

Warnings: Mentions of childhood SA (nothing detailed, it's more of a narrative timeline) but can be extremely triggering, description of panic attack symptoms

Truthfully, Y/N had been really nervous to date Harry. He was one of her best friends ever and she was just nervous that if they crossed that line and didn’t actually work that it would make their friendship weird for a bit. However, that wasn’t the case at all. Harry had been extremely thoughtful with how they transitioned from friends to more. They already spent a lot of time together, but he was far more intentional to adding alone time with her now. And when they would it was easier for them to flirt, to touch, to openly show their feelings for each other without their friends teasing them about it or something. It was really nice; it felt so natural to hold hands to be nonstop giggling and making eyes at each other. They had so much fun together.

“It’s not a competition, you know?” Harry mumbled softly as he briefly glanced over to the ceramic mug she was painting and he chuckled.

“It never is when you’re not the best at something.” She teased with a giggle and he scoffed and she peered up at him to see him playfully glaring at her.

“I’m just not artsy or creative in this respect.” He defended himself.

“Neither am I. I just steal creative people’s ideas off of Pinterest.” She said as she painted another little smiley face onto her mug and he chuckled.

“Despicable.” He muttered as he just made another big stroke onto his mug. He had just gone for a vertical rainbow theme because he couldn’t be arsed with all the little details that she was working on. She giggled as she put the finishing touches on her mug. She hadn’t even done anything that complex. Her mug was a white base color and she had just drawn a bunch of little colorful smiley faces around it.

“What color should I do the handle?” She asked and he glanced up at her work.

“Mmm… the yellow.” He suggested. And she hummed and went straight for that color and started painting the handle. “Are we exchanging mugs?” She asked.

“If you want to.” Harry responded as he added his final layer to the color he has just put down.

“Just so we have little reminders of each other.” She shrugged and he smiled.

“You already live in my head rent free, love” He assured flirtatiously, “But I’m not opposed to more.” He added.

“Settled then.” She smiled as she put the paintbrush down.

After another few minutes they were turning their mugs in to the girl up front and she let them know they could come by in a couple of days to pick up their mugs. They thanked her and left the little shop. Harry's arm draped over her shoulder and pulled her close as they made the walk back to his car.

"Are you hungry at all? Even just for a snack? Or do you want to come back to mine for a drink and a film? Or I can just drop you off at home." he said and she leaned her head against his shoulder as they walked.

She wanted to go to his and watch a film but she was nervous that it would lead to more. Harry was really respectful though and she felt comfortable around him and quite safe, which would be enough to make anyone else just trust him and agree to going over. But that's the issue, she had felt safe around the people in her life growing up only for someone to violate that trust. And logically she knew Harry would never even think of doing something to hurt her but a part of her would always be on the fence, she couldn't trust anyone blindly ever again.

"Y/N?" he asked again she snapped out of her thoughts.

"Oh ummm, let's just go to yours." she said to him and he nodded. She just decided to do what she wanted to do because she deserved a shot at a normal relationship. She deserved to be with someone that made her happy. She deserved to feel beautiful and desired by someone who she also saw in the same way. She deserved to be happy.

Being a single mom and mother to three daughters, her mom had been so thorough and open about SA and about what was considered inappropriate for any man or woman to say or do to them at any age. And she had told them that if anything ever happened to any of them that they could trust each other and that they would always believe each other. Y/N was only 10 when a close family friend molested her, so when this man had done what he did she was fully aware that he had in fact molested her. She was afraid to say anything because he had threatened her and warned her about what would happen if she told anyone. In her mind she thought this meant that it was a one time thing and that he'd leave her alone from then on. But then he came back a second time and a third time. But that third time was when he decided to get personal satisfaction out of it and she knew that he only escalate his actions from then on so despite all the fear in her body she told her mom immediately after and she took the necessary legal steps and got her in to see a therapist just a week later. People assumed that speaking up sooner somehow "helps" survivors, but in reality that's a bunch of bullshit. You could speak up right away but that thing still happened to you. Whether it's happened once or multiple times, you're still affected by it. The man even went to jail, but that didn't take away that part of her that she felt had been stolen from her.

During her Uni years she joined a therapy and support group of adult survivors of childhood SA and in hearing the stories of some of the people there she felt like she wasn't trying hard enough to overcome her own trauma. She just needed to take matters into her own hands and move on. So she started to see a guy that she really liked and she fell in love with him and she decided that she wanted him to be her first. She knew she wasn't ready for sex, but she loved the guy so she thought she'd at least try. And things were alright until he was about to finish and she just had to stop. She had a full blown panic attack and after that time she just kept to herself. Her friends would always try and set her up with people but she didn't want to explain everything to them. She mainly talked her to mum, sisters, or therapist about it when she needed to talk about it. She didn't want people to look at her like she a victim or like something was wrong with her. She had come through a lot of her trauma, but sometimes she'd experience the hurt again or get triggered by things and it felt like she'd made no progress at all. It was a long uphill battle.

So when Harry asked her out she immediately talked to her therapist about it because she wanted this to work with him. She met Harry in school when they were about 12. Their family had moved after what had been done to her and he was one of the first friends she'd made in school. They'd grown up together, they'd been friends forever, and while she had liked him on and off for many years, when he asked her out he told her that he'd loved her since they were 16 years old and that he had never tried anything before because he wanted to have his shit together when they finally dated and well, it was mostly together now. She was working extra hard in therapy because she didn't want to have a panic attack when he was about to blow his load again. She craved to be physically intimate with him and she wanted to be ready when the time came. She was in love with him and well, he was in love with her, it was the natural next step.

"You're so quiet, love. What's on your mind?" Harry asked her as his thumb rubbed along the side of her hand.

"Oh nothing, just thinking about random stuff." she said with a small smile and he nodded, but he wasn't sure that it was nothing.

They'd known each other for a really long time and upon them changing the nature of their relationship she became a bit more guarded than she had been in the past. It was subtle, but he knew her well and he noticed it quickly. He knew he needed to build trust with her as a partner as well, because they had it as friends, but this was an even more multifaceted and complex relationship than just a friendship. Harry wanted to build the rest of his life with her and he was eager to prove to her that he could make her happy in every way.

"Do you want tea or coffee? I also have..." he paused as he opened up his fridge, "Beer." he said as he turned to her and she smiled.

"I'm alright." she assured as she slipped out of her sneakers and padded over to the kitchen after him, "Maybe just a snack?" she asked as she meandered to his little pantry and she looked inside and saw a bag of chips. "May I?" she asked showing him.

"Course." he assured and so they headed off to his bedroom.

They got comfy and he switched on the TV before they settled on "She's the Man" a classic really. They were sitting close, the sexual tension brewing, simmering steadily between them. He knew that Y/N didn't really date all that much and that she also didn't sleep with people for fun so he didn't want to move to quickly when she was evidently more slow about that so he was pleasantly surprised when she called his name and just looked at him for a moment before she reached up to kiss him. He kissed her back tenderly, but kiss after kiss, things started to escalatate.

Y/N's body was buzzing, she wanted him so badly. She was turned on, which was not something that happened to her often. And she couldn't help it but desire to be closer to him. It was completely instinctual when she reached around his neck and pulled him down to her as she settled herself into his mattress. Their lips smeared together sloppily and desperately, they were breathing hard and their hearts were beating fast. Harry made a move to escalate things by straddling her lap and suddenly the good feelings went away and her skin started to crawl with fear and disgust. His weight over her made her feel discomfort and her stomach started to twist. She felt his erection pressing into her and it suddenly felt like too much as her mind flashed back to the past. She couldn't help it as her tears started to fall and her breathing shallowed.

"Stop. Stop. Stop. Please stop." she mumbled and Harry immediately moved off of her and she sat up and started to cry. She was struggling to catch her breath and he frowned.

"Hey, hey, hey, what's the matter." he asked her with concern. She was gasping for air through her tears and so he reached for her hand that was over her chest and she flinched and his frown deepened. Was she afraid of him, "Y/N, love." he called to her, "S'just me." he said extending his hand to her and she took it and squeezed it tight, "I'm here. I'm right here." he assured her as she started to calm herself, it seemed like she had done this before and that made his heart break. "I'm sorry if I pushed you too far. I should've asked before I did that, I'm sorry." he apologized with so much sincerity in his eyes and she shook her head.

"You didn't do anything wrong." she sniffled as she squeezed his hand, "It's me." she said and he frowned, "I'm ummm..." she stopped and started to cry again harder. Her cries turned into full on sobs.

"Oh love." He said softly, "Can I hold you? Is that OK?" he asked her and she nodded.

"Please." she whimpered and he just scooted in beside her and pulled her into his arms.

"I've got you." he assured her quietly and held her until she had calmed down enough that she could breathe normally again she was just quiet as he held her for a bit.

The thing that kept coming up in therapy over the last 2 sessions was the topic of her opening up to Harry about what had happened to her. She knew he would understand, but she was afraid that he'd view her as damaged or a victim or that he'd just feel sorry for her all the time. She didn't want him to think of her like that and opening up to him provided opportunity for that to happen. Her therapist reminded her that it would help him understand her better and be more patient with her as their relationship progressed. She had even informed Y/N that sex therapy was a thing they could look into in the future to help her be able to take control of her sexuality again. She had expressed to her therapist the want to have a healthy sexual relationship with Harry and she loved him, she hoped that he'd be the person she had kids with, she was looking ahead and she wanted to have it all with him, but she couldn't tell him yet.

"I'm so sorry." she finally said and he shook his head.

"No, love. Don't be sorry, it's alright." he assured and she shook her head.

"It's not. It's really not and-"

"Hey, I'm not with you just to have sex." he said to her, "Do I want to, yeah! Of course." he said and she sniffled, "But I love you and I don't need that to be happy with you and it certainly doesn't change how I feel about you. We can take our time, yeah? " he assured her and she sighed.

"Like I...want that too, I want to just do whatever I want with you but i just...I can't yet." she said softly, "And I'm scared. I love you and I trust you but I am so scared." she said and he nodded.

"That's OK. I'm scared as well of like...how this will change everything, but you're worth it to me. You're worth all the hard work I've put in on myself, I've been trying to get better all this time so that I could be good enough for you." he said and she turned in his hold and looked at him.

"Seriously?" she asked and he nodded with a caring smile.

"Yeah, love. Told you, I've loved you forever. I always will love you, there's no doubt about it." he smiled and she exhaled shakily.

"Oh, I love yo so much." she said and hugged him tight and he hugged her back. "I want to be open with you about everything and I...I just need a little time t-to be able to explain why I am the way I am." she said and he pulled back from her hold and grabbed her face.

"Look at me." he said and her glassy eyes met his, "There's nothing wrong with the way you are. And of course I want to know everything there is to know about you, but somethings just take time, OK? So don't feel like you need to push yourself on my account. I will be here with open arms and all the love in the world whenever you're ready, OK?" he said to her and she nodded and he wiped a few tears from her cheeks.

"Thank you." she said with so much gratitude. He had no idea how much what he said meant to her.

"No need to thank me, love." he assured and she smiled, "I know you'd be patient and understanding with me too." he said and she nodded.

"Yeah." she smiled, "Can I have another kiss?" she asked and he looked at her for a moment, "Promise I won't cry." she smiled and he shook his head.

"That' not what I was thinking." he said with a small chuckle.

"Then what?" she asked and his smiled dropped a bit.

"I just want to help make it better, whatever it is." he said and she had so much adoration for him in her eyes.

"You already are." she assured him and he smiled and kissed her lips once more.

"Want to have a cuddle?" he asked against her lip and she nodded, "C'mon then, love." he said as he leaned back against the pillows and she fit herself against his side. She would have to let her therapist know that she hadn't been able to tell Harry about her past yet, but she'd taken a step forward, a small step but it was a step in the right direction and for that, she was extremely proud of herself.

#harry styles #harry styles fic #harry styles fluff #harry styles angst #harry styles request #harry styles drabble #writing #0nlythrowharrybeaux

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epiclamer · 1 year

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hey, could you do a hero caretaker x villain whumpee where the villain comes to the hero and needs help. So the hero helps them through the usual whumpee trauma reovery steps, sorry if this is confusing, I haven't done many requests before. Thank you in advance, I love your works so much, you are so talented and cretive.

Eyyyy thanks for the compliment and request! You did great!! (With help from my pretty princess @save-the-villainous-cat )

cw: trauma (could be interpreted as mental, physical or sexual violence just be careful!)

Used

Both their hands were up in surrender. “D-Don’t shoot.”

Hero didn’t laugh. They were too busy trying to wrap their head around how the villain had managed to make it to their front steps in their condition.

It looked bad. Really bad.

Physically and mentally, Villain was a wreck. Hero hadn’t wasted anymore time in letting them in, guiding them to the couch and turning on the stove.

On the sofa, Villain worked their own wounds, cleaning and bandaging while Hero worked in the kitchen, cooking with the few ingredients in their cupboards. They didn’t prompt the criminal and they definitely didn’t touch them, the last thing they wanted to betray was the villain’s touch now.

Idly, Hero stirred a pot of pasta as it boiled. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Villain was close enough to hear—their flinch proved that—but they kept up their healing, otherwise unbothered by the hero’s last request. If they weren’t ready, Hero wouldn’t press them, but they had a terrible itch in their brain that pestered them about their lack of knowledge.

They didn’t ask again, not until the pasta reached a perfect cook, then sauce and cheese melted together to create a perfect balance and it was all stirred equally and dished into two separate bowls. Hero walked it over to the couch, placing both bowls down as they silently reexamined the villain’s work on their wounds. Trying their best not to judge the sloppy stitches and loose gauze pads.

“Mind if I?”

Villain nodded, trading out their medical supplies for a steamy bowl of noodles that smelled heavenly. With so little on hand, Hero sure knew how to cook a meal.

As gently as possible, the crime-stopper began to tidy the prior work. Their perfectionism kicking in as they righted every bandaid and flushed out every scrape. It was unnecessary and hard work, but it took their mind off the millions of questions tumbling around in their head.

The villain’s bowl was polished clean after only a few minutes. They gobbled down every last bit like they hadn’t eaten in weeks—which was probable since they looked thinner than ever before, in the most unhealthy way possible. Every time the hero glanced at them, they slowed down, pretending like they had more self control than they presented.

It wasn’t believable, but it gave them a false sense of control, which must’ve been consoling in the moment.

“I let my guard down once.” Villain chuckled, tears glazing their eyes as they stared off into space. “And they use me.” They shook their head, feeling the tears fall freely down their cheeks. “Like I’m a fucking animal.”

Hero let them talk, burying things was only going to harm them more. If they needed an outlet, Hero would always be available.

“I thought it was only going to be a few hours, Hero, I thought they were going to leave.” Villain leaned back against the sofa arm, throwing their head back as they laughed even harder, slipping into their horrible memories. “They. Never. Fucking. Did.”

The hero checked a particularly lazy stitch that would reopen soon. It was heartbreaking to hear the villain’s story and see the actual results of their mistreatment.

With the uttermost care they could come up with, the took the medical supplies and gently cut the strings and restitched the whole thing. The villain didn’t seem to mind.

“People say pain makes you stronger,” the villain said. “But it doesn’t. It makes you feel miserable. Being used like that…”

Hero tried to sympathize, they really did, but they had no concept of what the villain had gone through. Sure, they had had their fair share of gruelling interrogations and knifepoint fights, but nothing like this. Not anything like this.

“I understand.” They didn’t, and the villain knew that. But it felt wrong to say nothing in the silence that hung thick in the air.

Villain didn’t answer, eyes clouded as they relived the past, suffering from merely their mind now, but that was the hardest to escape.

“You’re going to be okay.” Hero squeezed their arm gently, egging their attention to return to the present. It worked, a little, and Villain glanced at them with sunken eyes. Through the exhaustion Hero could’ve sworn they had seen a flash of hope if only for a second.

“Thank you.”

Both of them slept in the hero’s bed that night, apart but still together, a feeling they had both missed dearly.

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youthnighttarot · 1 year

Text

Umm…..so like tf going on? (What’s happening to you right now) PAC

Pile 1

Cards Pulled: FoC, KoS, SoSwrv

Reading: What I’m getting from what’s happening right now is some form of loss, grief or trauma that you’re focusing on. You may be carrying this emotional burden with and this could be causing some form of instability within your life. You need to build a routine and not just any routine a routine based around you and what brings you true happiness. You may need to have a conversation with someone who is responsible for this or even with yourself. Find the strength within yourself stand your ground fully and wholeheartedly. Some people are unwilling to change and you can’t use that as an excuse why you let them treat you the way that they do. You may have recently gone through a relationship separation whether it may be romantic, platonic, or familial. Don’t allow them to take you for granted. You are not going to heal overnight it is going to take some time and you have to be comfortable with that. Sometimes you may slip back but don’t allow that to become a pattern an later another bad habit. You may be detaching yourself from personal matters thinking of things that make you or made you feel guilty. You also have to be willing to change even if that means cutting people off. Create some self-discipline within your schedule and your time. You need some self-care ASAP. Relax and allow yourself to breathe your so tight and anxious and this only causes more stress and pain to your mental state. For those who have been wronged the bases revenge especially for those who have been monetarily abused…the best revenge is your paper 💰💅🏾. You really need to clear your mind and space pile one it’s almost suffocating this is not good at all. So I got the sugar baby card and the message I was most drawn to is “you need to get more independent…help yourself”. I need really getting this has to do with you it’s more so someone else….however if you feel this resonates with you then this is your message. This person more than likely constantly take from you and would rather use you than love you or give to you. This person needs to help their damn selves it’s not your responsibility to take care of a grown ass selves. Stop allowing yourself to be overwhelmed by this person or your current situation. It’s not helping and if you continue down this road it will continue to delay the am healing you desperately need. You definitely need to reconnect with your inner child because your beginning to lose yourself it’s as if your inner child barely knows who you are anymore. Talk to your inner child they need you to tell them everything is going to be ok. That you’ll get through and one day this nightmare will be a distant memory. This person or possibly you deserves and Oscar for the performance that they put on…it’s actually ridiculous. The literal fucking gaslighting that they do is utterly insane. Who would have the audacity and nerve to use someone trauma against them and even if that specific scenario doesn’t resonate…this person definitely gaslights you and it’s honestly weird….because you seem to be a genuine person and they see that as a way to use you or they take as an opportunity to

Advice from spirit: You need to heed these spiritual warnings because it will lead you to utter chaos if you don’t. You have the angel number 44 {“Angel Number 44 brings a message that you are being surrounded by helpful, loving angels who wish to bring you peace of mind and joy of heart. Angel Number 44 indicates that you are being given support and encouragement along your path, and when faced with an obstacle, rest assured that your angels are most willing to assist. Be assured that solutions to any issues or problems will soon be revealed. Angel Number 44 is a message that the angels and Archangels are with you, encouraging and guiding you. They are offering you inner-strength and support to enable you to get the work done that you need to in order to attain and achieve your goals and aspirations. They know and understand that you have been toiling diligently towards your goals, and encourage you to continue on your current path to achieve the success and results you desire. Work with the angels to ensure success in all of your endeavours.”} You need to absolutely do more work within the 3D realm because you have a lot of support from the 5D your team is supporting they got you. For some of you could be an air sign or you may have it in your chart. Or you may need to stop detaching and ground yourself some of you have been quite aloof lately almost lethargic. And all in all you need to relax pile 1 allow yourself to truly heal you need it.

Pile 2

Cards Pulled: 4oPrv, 2oWrv, KnoWrv

Reading: Pile 2 you are walking away from the old your shedding that old residue in a corner and leaving it. You may have spent so much of your time in the past giving to other people. Putting other people before yourself. They “y’all eat before I fix my plate mentality“ you were too open, and too generous to people who didn’t deserve it. Deep down you know this but may have chosen to ignore it. (Tbh this may be pile 1 after you heal for some of you) Your leaving behind this reckless behaviors. You were scared of changing that if you made the decision there was no turning back. But now you refuse the mu and not allowing yourself to be held back because of your past. Again I’m getting there were a lot reckless things you’ve in your past you or this person may have been careless, violent, loud and overwhelming obnoxious. You or this person had shown zero self discipline don’t allow people to put a chip on your shoulder and or don’t walk around with a chip on your shoulder. You need a blank slate pile 2 or you’re starting a new beginning in your life where you start over. Again I’m getting in your past you may have had a lot of problems because of risky decisions you’ve made. Now is also not the time to make risky choices take some time to think it through. Is it really worth the risk that your taking if yes go for but if you feel deep down it isn’t don’t go for it. You don’t want to rush into things without any insight going in. Your life path number could be 11, 22, 33, or 44. Or those my be numbers that could pop up often around you. But you’re learning new things about yourself…taking new journeys that will lead to your life path journey. You can never give up or fail at what’s destined for you. So CONFIRMATION you already knew what was up with this person deep down but you ignored your feeling/intuition but now you definitely know why you felt the way you felt at the beginning. For some of you, you were dealing with a dust bucket and you had to get the hell out of dodge cuz they were on some next shit. And for the rest this person had red flags all up and through them but you that you could “fix” them. They may have interfered with your summer last year and caused a lot of real problems for you. This summer is gonna be different ain’t nothing gonna break your stride. (Go listen to that song 🎧)

Advice from Spirit: You took your healing path one day at a time…and it paid off. But you still have to make an ongoing effort to continue along this line because it will not always be easy. With tenth house energies coming out there could be a big career move happening or something having to do with recognition and financial stability. Also look into your natal 10th house as well as transit for April that may also give you some insight. You have angel numbers 134 and 33 popping out {“Be Keen On Your Physical And Mental Well-being.Angel number 134 comes with a message from your guardian angel that you are working effortlessly to realize your desires and goals. However, it also reminds you that you should not abandon your well-being to achieve your goals. Try as much as possible to get a balance between your health and your hardworking lifestyle. You can do so by altering your hardworking lifestyle to fit in some time to catch your breathe and relax.” “Master Number (Master Teacher) and resonates with the energies of compassion, blessings, inspiration, honesty, discipline, bravery and courage. Number 33 tells us that ‘all things are possible’. 33 is also the number that symbolizes ‘guidance’. The Master Number 33 is connected to the Ascended Masters, and the repeating Angel Number 33 is a message that many Ascended Masters surround you and are offering their assistance. All you need to do is ask, as the Ascended Masters are waiting to answer your prayers.

Read more at: https://trustedpsychicmediums.com/angel-numbers/angel-number-134-meaning-and-symbolism/

Pile 3

Cards Pulled: 2oCrv, AoS, Justicerv

Readings: You may have ended a partnership or relationship that was causing a lot of disharmony within your life. There wasn’t a lot of balance between you and this person or group of people. You may have constantly been in arguments with one another. This person was really unfair to you pile 3 and I’m sorry for that. You may have even lost a couple of friendships behind this person. You are finally seeing this person through a clear mind or you and this person could have had a breakthrough with each other and been able to communicate but that only feel like that’s for a few of you. For a lot of you thought you’re finally seeing the truth about this person or group of people’s true self…how unfair they treated you how they never took accountability for being wrong but somehow could always point out when you were in the wrong. The hypocrisy of it all 🙄. You’re creating new plans and ideas without them and they probably can’t stand it. You able to see the truth for the first time and since then you never went back. There’s a pattern of mental clarity in all these piles so feel free to look at another one if you resonated with. You are finally receiving justice for everything you went through…..the scales are finally balance. You are now a force to be reckoned with nobody is gonna challenge your worth again. Take some time off and relax binge watch that series you’re always talking about or finish that book you’ve been looking at for months. Illusion from your past may be brought back up and this will be a testament to your will and strength. Though you went through this now is not the time to retreat in a shell entirely go out meet new people. Have a fling or two but most importantly heal yourself from within so that it may shine on the outside. Remember who you are and others will act accordingly. Yea so you know you don’t even have to worry and if you don’t now you know. This person is about to have all their shit aired out but whom I don’t know when I also don’t know but I hear soon. You need to let go of trying to fix everything and everyone….you can’t fix what’s already broken. Let the past go the longer you keep trying to fix it the more you will regress. You may be asking yourself why this person or group of people would even act this way. “WHAT WAS THE REASON” in my cardi voice. And all they can do is look at you stupidly like really. That being said they‘re not up worrying and thinking about you so why are you giving them your time and energy knowing they aren’t worth it.

Advice from Spirit: Divine teachings is what you will be receiving or you have already received and will continue to receive. Trust that these lessons do have purpose no matter how much they may hurt you or cuz you pain. Angel numbers 22 and 88 popped out {“If you find yourself in the midst of chaos or disorder, the angel number 22 is a sign from your angels that they are with you, and that harmony will soon be restored.This angel number 22 is also a reminder to stay positive and to have faith that all is working out for your highest good.Trust that your angels are guiding and supporting you, and know that everything will eventually come into alignment.” “The 88 angel number is a powerful message from the angels. It signifies new beginnings, abundance, and karmic connections. The 88 angel number is also a lucky number, and seeing it is a sign of good things to come. As such, it also represents financial abundance, success, and good fortune. Moreover, it’s a reminder that you are always connected to the spiritual realm and that your thoughts and actions have an impact on your life path. Perhaps most importantly, it’s a message from the angels, telling you that they are with you and helping you through whatever challenges you may be facing.”

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ceaseless-watchers-special-girl · 2 months

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you guys. you guys you guys. i think i know what i want from the final season of the penumbra podcast. i have spent the past ten minutes pacing around my room. yesterday i read up to chapter 17 of prydon's fic separate but syncopated (https://archiveofourown.org/works/30943430/chapters/76417991) which let's be honest, you've probably read already. it's phenomenal. if you haven't, you should.

so i've been thinking. i just really want to go back to brahma. i want to go back to brahma and take down the guardian angel system.

the thing is, the junoverse is a very character driven storyline, and i love that about it. the second citadel is more event driven i think, and it was more difficult for me to get into that storyline and stick with it (i'm weak i'm sorry). for example, although the first season focuses a lot on juno solving the whole martian artefact doodah, back then the penumbra crew were still finding their feet.

then junoverse season 2 happened, and the entire point of that season was basically "get juno over his trauma" (that's why it was so long oh my god). sure, there was a whole plot with ramses and the theia souls, but i think we can all agree that was secondary to juno's character development.

next, season 3. season 3 is definitely character driven, you literally can't deny it. it focuses on each member of the carte blanche in turn, and it uses the plot, finding the curemother prime, as a secondary tool to further the true point of the season: getting to know the characters.

season 4 i'm a little less certain about because i'm typing this post straight into tumblr fresh out of my brain (if anyone wants to help out with the analysis i'd love that). but i think the point of season 4 is to test and showcase the bonds of the carte blanche with each other, and juno rescuing them all is not only a good story, but also a good way to show off the relationships they built in season 3. his relationship with nureyev is shown through periodic reading of the journal, and juno's copious inner monologues (i say like i'm one to talk when all of these thoughts are swirling around in my own head).

then, season 5. the point of this season mirrors that of season 2, but this time, we need to get nureyev over his trauma. this is way trickier, because we're not inside nureyev's head, we're still in juno's. it's still character driven because the aim is to help nureyev, but the plot is given by juno having to chase him across the galaxy. hence, juno's hesitation when he finally finds nureyev.

well, steel, you've caught him. now what the hell are you going to do with him?

there is no plot to drive the character study anymore. our goal was to help nureyev, and juno (poor juno) has done all he can. the ball falls squarely into nureyev's court now, and juno has no say in the plot of the rest of the story. this is why i have been chewing myself alive since the last episode — we know what's next for the characters emotionally, but we have absolutely zero idea what's happening next plot-wise. it's killing me.

(what was the point of this post again?)

OH WAIT I'VE GOT IT. so. since our whole thing for this season is helping nureyev, and we all want him to go batshit fucking insane, i really want nureyev to go back to brahma, and finish what he started two decades ago. i think it's the perfect circular story arc to keep them occupied while nureyev heals emotionally from the fallout from everything going on with slip.

also, sorry to get real for a second, but i've just been tearing myself apart being morally outraged at the world we live in, and the fact that i'm barely able to do anything about it. maybe one day i could, but until then, it would be nice to see my favourite space gays set an example.

now, i know there's complications with this. nureyev refused to take the guardian angel system down in the first place because of the damage it would cause, and i'm willing to bet he hasn't excised that moral core just yet, no matter how hard he's trying. but i'm sure they can find a way to make it work. they have rita, after all!!

they're definitely hinting at a homecoming arc for juno. i think nureyev needs one too, is all.

#tpp #the penumbra podcast #junoverse #peter nureyev #juno steel #rambling again sorry #dear god penumbra has me in it's grips will it never let go?#essay #i genuinely for real did not intend this one to be an essay i promise #it just happened my brain doesn't shut up

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nonbinarydeity · 1 year

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Give Up Control

This is gonna be a lot to read but PLEASE read it, it's so important, I can not stress this enough.

Holy shit. I just completely connected to my subconscious mind. I literally heard them talking to me, saying the nicest things; I realized somewhere deep inside of me that they have my best interests in mind, and I just gave up control completely.

I'm actually in shock writing this. I didn't realize it, but doing this is actually the best thing I could have ever done for myself. In giving up control, I allowed my subconscious to literally Speedrun the process of manifesting, but it didn't manifest things, it manifested feelings and this knowledge that I am a godly being.

I cannot describe to you how good I feel. It literally feels like my trauma, my pain, my fear, etc has been washed away. The moment I gave my subconscious control, it started washing out all of my old programming and it replaced it with love and acceptance. I feel so free like? I'm so much happier than I've ever felt.

How I gave up control

So what happened was, I was trying to get into the void state, and while doing so I was letting go of my outer world. I think I was one step away from it when my subconscious mind popped into my head and started telling me what I good job I was doing, and it told me that all I had to do this whole time was let go of the outer world, thus giving up control of my reality (let go of control, whatever is attaching you to the idea of needing control, let go of it). I literally disconnected from reality while doing this. I could feel and hear it, but I knew that it wasn't nearly as real as me if that makes sense??

Then it asked me what I wanted. And I stg I was gonna say the void state but then I realized that that's what was holding me back. I wanted so much and I had no idea how to get it; trying to get it made it feel farther away so I kept trying and failing and trying and... Let's just say I've broken that cycle.

So anyways, instead of asking it for the void, I just asked what it wanted, and this wave of happiness shot through me, and I knew I did the right thing.

What happened after I let go (why I think everyone should try this!!)

My subconscious mind literally walked me through the process of letting go of my trauma you guys. Like it literally helped me get into the correct states and everything. I felt resistance to some of the stuff (literally my ego was trying to stop it, like the fear and everything yk?), but I let go of that too and let my subconscious do it's work and oh. my. god. I feel so much freer, so much more powerful, so much happier and I can't even describe it fully.

I definitely don't feel done with this process, I know I probably have a few more sessions of this to go before I'm fully healed from everything, but even in one go I feel SO MUCH BETTER (I cannot stress this enough). I know that I'm in control but I also know that when it comes to actually getting what I want, it's a higher part of me that's doing it. Like it's me in the driver's seat, but it's not this earthly me, it's beyond that.

Anyways I hope this makes sense but I swear you all HAVE to try this. Like just lay down and meditate and ask your subconscious to help you let go of your need for control, and let them guide you through everything. Don't ask for anything besides their help and let them give you what you REALLY want (to heal, to love, to be free, etc). It'll be 1000% worth it, I promise 😭💕

#master manifestor #law of assumption #manifestation #manifesting #manifest #loa #loassumption

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sldlovescartoons · 2 months

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One of the bigger crimes of the bulk of The Mighty Nein being kind of stupid, and the giant blind spot Caleb’s Intelligence and Wisdom Scores have towards his trauma is that nobody is there to really logic shit out when it pops up. Like when they first go to Nott’s home town, there’s honestly a lot more clear evidence that Yeza was working with the Assembly and got snatched by Kyrn. The village was recently attacked by Kyrn. Even the letter refers to Trent’s research as separate. Also all the torture was specifically a Trent Scourger Special. The assumption that the Assembly snatched and was torturing Yeza came from a real animal fear place. But Caleb is too zonked on trauma juice to shuffle things out and way too ready to place more suffering at his own feet. And none of the others have the kinds of smarts to be like “Okay, but that was that Trent guy, right? This letter talks like their stuff is separate. I don’t see why they would take him unless he’d done something bad- maybe the simple answer is right one here?” Along those lines. But that one is really minor and understandable because there was a lot going on-

The time where this was the biggest crime was after the dinner with Trent. Because that shit Trent said about sending the woman to heal Caleb is so obviously bullshit if you really scrutinize it at all. Like I didn’t need Matt to say in the wrap up it was bullshit because I knees immediately it was bullshit because it doesn’t make any goddamned sense. Broken Scourgers are held in the Sanatorium for a reason. They are really dangerous to Trent and his operation because not only do they risk leaking his methods to the public, but because if one dies in fact get better, or rather get magical cleric healing, they will definitely want to kill Trent in the aftermath. The built in risk with an operation like his is that he’s also training up his future executioners if any of them turn on him. You know, like they were? As it was, Astrid was going to take his ass out in good time and she’s fully drunk the koolaid, you don’t need a pissed prodigy on your heals too. Trent’s stated reason for freeing Caleb is fucking nonsense, it’s stupid, but none of the Nein have the sort of Wisdom and Smarts to be like “that doesn’t make any sense, though? If he wanted to free you to make you reach your potential, why did he wait so long? It makes more sense to do it sooner. Also, if he has ready access to clerics with magic like that, why doesn’t he just use them to fix all broken scourgers right away? It would increase the number of spies in his network, so either there’s a good reason he doesn’t heal them, or he doesn’t have open access to clerics that powerful and he’s bluffing. This doesn’t make a lot of sense.” And so on. Also just their dumbassery (said with all the affection in the world, I love the Nein. To bits.) they never really get how and why Trent is so scary and dangerous. Not fully. And are thus woefully unprepared to help Caleb with his problems like Caleb helps them with theirs. And it’s not their fault, they are angels and they are doing their best, but boy does it do a number of Caleb not having sort of support. The closest is Beau, and I love her, she’s like my third favorite behind Caleb and Jester, but- Yikes. Just Yikes.

#critical role #c2 #the mighty nein #caleb widogast #ramble #meta

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