#and historically. when i tell anyone my problems and issues they leave me

[the-library-alcove]

So my best friend is a Bisexual man who was raised in a conservative Christian home that homeschooled him and amount others things taught him that LGBT were going to burn in hell and deserved no rights. He has since left the religion and moved to a different part of the country that is a lot more pro-lgbt and a lot less religious. He’s a lot happier now having embraced both his sexuality and atheism! But according to you, you he’s still a Christian. Even tho his family rejected him and he’d rather be homeless, which he currently is, than to return to them. Christianity abused him for no other reason than he’s bi but you don’t care and still put him in the same category as his abusers. Do you not see how fucked up that is?

Culturally Christian Atheist whining that he doesn't understand that he and his friend are still going to have deep-seated influences from their upbringing on how they view the world and saying that the mere statement that, no, you didn't spring forth from the ground as a fully formed adult with zero influences is somehow "putting him in the same category as his abusers".

It's judgement neutral, yah dummy! If you're feeling that it's an attack, that's on you, but FFS, this is something I get from every fucking Culturally Christian atheist to the point that getting this whine is itself part of being a culturally Christian Atheist--because you're acting like a Christian who has been mistakenly labeled to be a "Catholic" and now has to throw a tantrum over it!

But shit, dude, I'm a culturally Jewish atheist! See, it's that easy to acknowledge your background! Can you stop acting like an Evangelical with a persecution complex when I point out that you have a historical background that's going to inform how you view things and interact with the world? You're not a video game character who spawns when the protagonist enters a new zone! I'm not saying that you're still religiously a Christian! Honestly, I'm proud of you for walking away from that faith--statistically, you've probably left Evangelical Christianity, which is the closest thing to a fully fledged Religion of Evil on the planet! But it's still going to leave marks on you and your mindset that take a lot more work to identify and acknowledge and remove than just going "I don't accept Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior!" And I can tell that you've still got work to do--because you're whining like an Evangelical that you're being persecuted for someone making an observation about your cultural background, including, for starters:

Taking my statements out of context to attack me.

Treating this as a black-and-white issue.

Treating my statement as a moral attack.

Assuming that you have all of the answers already and other perspectives are a danger to be attacked and dismissed.

Treating me as an outsider to be attacked for pointing out something, rather than someone trying to help you fix a problem.

Among others. You still have some deeply embedded cultural programming that comes from being raised in a Culturally Christian background environment that includes behaviors like that. But rather than try to remove them and get rid of those vestiges of thinking, you're instead proving my point. And while you aren't as obnoxious as some other Culturally Christian Atheists I've run into, this belligerence and resistance to actually listening because you're convinced that you already have done all of the work and possess Truth is so Culturally Christian it hurts. Like, I feel sorry for you. Still going to block you, because there no more point in trying to have a conversation with you than the missionaries who have told me that I exist to be a blood sacrifice to bring back Jesus, and for the same reason: You have your Truth, and damned be anyone who says anything that contradicts it.

EDIT: Also, checking out your blog and seeing you deliberately going after Jewish bloggers even more than you go after Christians, to say how much you hate them for existing and mocking our own origins?

Yeah, that antisemitism is also part of your Culturally Christian background. Ask yourself why you hate Jews so much and so specifically.

#now to find out how many suspiciously empty new blogs I have to block today #because that's the usual pattern when dealing with either evangelicals or this type of atheist

[bookishfeylin]

Hi. First of all, I wanted to apologize for my rant. I was not angry at your or anyone, but the just the constant whitewashing that's been happening recently in the fandom, like a recent whitewashed art of Yrene. Anyway, my anger was directed towards artists in the SJM fandom who for some reason choose to make male characters brown but when it comes to female characters they whitewash them. I'm brown btw and I read so many diverse books from diverse authors with POC as the lead like The City of Brass for example and that series still gets whitewashed btw and it's all just so frustrating. The author will explicitly describe a character with brown skin and she will still be drawn paler. The golden tan characters in SJM's books like Bryce for instance is constantly drawn paler and it's just like why?? I don't understand it. Also, my anger and rant was not directed toward you I just needed to vent I guess. I honestly really apologize for that lengthy rant, i didn't mean for it to be hurtful or anything.

Like The City of Brass is one of my favorite series, the way the main character is described is exactly how I look like. Brown skin, curly black hair, but the countless whitewashed art I've seen of her is really triggering. They make her paler, give her straight silky hair instead of curly. It frustrates me to no end. I've had this pent up for a while and I wanted to rant (not at you though) at the whole whitewashing thing. I promise I won't flood your inbox again, I know it was uncalled for. I think your blog is great and really enlightening so I apologize.

Thank you for clarifying. I don't mind long asks or anything, I just assumed you were angry at me, so I'm sorry if I came off as rude or curt. You are welcome to flood my inbox 💜 And I appreciate that you took the time to further explain how you feel, and that the root issue isn't Bryce/SJM, but is the fandom's depiction of darker skinned characters, exemplified in how Bryce is depicted.

It's good that you read many diverse books by diverse authors, but you're right--if fandom doesn't step up to properly support these authors and do justice to the characters, then the impact those diverse series have is minimal.

Whitewashing is a huge problem, and for that artists are 100% responsible for choosing to ignore canon and for choosing to depict characters of color as Eurocentric as possible. Skin bleaching to lighten our skin and relaxers to straighten our hair and colored contacts to give us light eyes and nose jobs to give us European noses--these all exist, and are popular, because society and the media constantly tell us that only whiteness is beautiful. That only whiteness is valuable. That only whiteness is human. So people who stray farther from whiteness are dehumanized, and are treated worse by society.

And that's why representation and why diverse works are so important, because they challenge that idea. Representation allows for people of color to be seen as beautiful, and valuable, and human, when we historically haven't been seen as such. It shows that we deserve to lead our own stories, and that we deserve escapism too, because we're human and we deserve breaks from the real world like everyone else. So when diverse characters are whitewashed, it's like a slap in the face. These characters are meant to challenge Eurocentricity, and whitewashing them simply adheres to it. Your feelings are perfectly valid, and it hurts whenever a character is whitewashed because it's simply perpetuating the message that's been shoved down our throat since we were children--that only whiteness is beautiful, that only whiteness is valuable, that only whiteness is human, and therefore, characters can't look too non-white, much less be non-white.

I do have a lot more thoughts on whitewashing and how it differs from racebending in response to some discourse™ in the Little Mermaid tag, and I do want to make a longer post about it, but I will leave you with this:

a) Your feelings are very valid. Whitewashing diverse characters perpetuates Eurocentricity, and fandom has a racism problem.

b) Representation matters. Now and forever.

#ask #anon #racism #whitewashing #on media #fandom racism #colorism #representation matters #we all deserve so much better #fandom problems #fandom wank #diversity in media #representation

[otherworldseekers]

Wondrous Tails prompts: “Make me” and Breathless

It’s the fencing and kissing one. I’m not really happy with this but I’m just going to put it out there cause today’s the last day. It’ll probably be heavily edited before it goes in the official fic when I eventually get there. Hopefully it’s not too disappointing after I’ve talked about it so much. 

Also don’t @ me if you know about fencing. I did my best. And this isn’t historical fiction. I do however have a bunch of headcanons now for fencing traditions in Eorzea and beyond.

Anyway, takes place during Omega questline. Severia x Nero. About 2100 words. 

Severia did not linger at the campsite that night. No sooner had they emerged from Omega’s portal than she walked swiftly to her tent and emerged with a plain looking rapier in her hand. Nero was lurking outside his own tent when she breezed by him without a glance. Apparently she was not done trying to avoid him that day. But he had no intention of allowing it to continue. 

“You might be interested to know, Warrior of Light, that I was fencing champion at the Magitek Academy four years running,” Nero called out toward her diminishing back. 

Severia paused and looked back over her shoulder at him. “Fencing at Magitek Academy?”

“Yes, you know, a sound mind in a sound body and all that,” said Nero by way of explanation. 

“That must have been an awfully long time ago,” Severia said pointedly but the barb failed to land effectively. 

“I admit it was a good twenty years ago, but it is not as if I am out of condition,” Nero said with a smug smile. “Why don’t you test me? See how much I’ve forgotten.” He swaggered toward her, stretching his arms above his head. 

Severia narrowed her eyes and considered his challenge. “I don’t have any safe sparring blades. Don’t complain to me if you get stabbed.”

“Why, hero, to be stabbed by you would be a privilege,” Nero teased. “Let’s see if you can manage it.”

Severia nodded and led him out of camp to the flat area she had found near the Yawn’s rim for her training sessions. It had not been long since she had begun to study the art of the Red Mage and she had been surprised to find that the magic came easier than the sword skills. Perhaps it was simply that her muscles were so used to using a bow, she hadn’t developed the reflexes for the sword yet. That was why she had been making sure to dedicate at least a couple of hours every evening to training. Of course, out here in the wilderness she had not had anyone to spar with, or so she’d thought. It was somewhat boring only to practice the movements over and over so she had to admit the idea of sparring with someone competent was too tempting to pass up.

The blades Severia provided were simple and unornamented. Nero looked his over with a keen eye, testing its weight and performing a few basic moves. As far as she could tell, he certainly seemed like he knew what he was doing. Severia turned away from him so he could not distract her while she went through her normal routine of stretches. When she turned back to face him, he had taken off his Ironworks vest and wore only a tightly fitted black turtleneck shirt. Quite tightly fitted. She could see the contours of his muscles through the fabric. 

“Problem, hero?” Nero asked with a smirk. 

Severia realized that her mouth was hanging open. She snapped it shut and then opened it again to retort. “Isn’t it rather stupid to remove your protective layers?”

“Only if you are able to reach me. But I quite understand if you want to leave that heavy coat on.”

“Fine. I won’t have it said we didn’t spar on equal terms.” She slowly unbuttoned and shrugged out of her Red Mage jacket, leaving only a sleeveless undershirt. “Is there an issue, Scaeva?”

Now Nero was quite clearly staring. “Just admiring the view.”

“If you think you can win by embarrassing me, you underestimate me,” said Severia. She took her sword up. “En garde.”

Nero followed her example. “Prêtes?”

“Pardon?”

“You said ‘en garde’. I assumed you knew the formula.”

“What formula?”

“To commence the bout. Normally spoken by a judge, but since there are only to two of us here…”

“What was it you said?”

“Ready?”

“No, I’m not ready. What did that word mean?”

Nero sighed and lowered his rapier. “The word meant ‘are you ready’.”

Severia went red in embarrassment at her own ignorance. These were things X’rhun had never taught her. “Right. Ok. Then… what happens after that?”

“The protocols of competitive fencing are not important. We can forgo the formalities. I dare say it has nothing to do with your Red Mage training.”

“No, but… I like to learn.”

“Very well, I’ll teach you the Garlean version rather than the Ishgardian phrasing which, to be frank, I’m not sure how to conjugate.”

Severia nodded. “All right.”

“So, one begins ‘in guardia’.”

Severia repeated the words. 

“Then, well if you are saying it to me it’s ‘pronto?’ And if I say it to you it’s ‘pronta?’ Meaning, are you ready?” He waited for her to try it out. “Good, and then the closing phrase is ‘a voi!’”

“A voi,” Severia repeated. “What does that mean?”

“Literally, ‘to you’.”

“I see.”

“Would you like to try it out?”

“Ok.”

“You may begin.”

Severia raised her sword in salute and said, “In guardia.”

“Pronta?” Nero answered and took up his initial stance.

Severia did likewise and finished, “A voi!” 

And lightning fast she thrust her sword past her opponent’s blade and would have struck the first blow… if only Nero were not so tall. As it was he managed to dodge the attack, but the slight lift of the corners of her mouth told him that she had merely been testing him, gauging distances. 

It quickly became clear that Severia did not fight as they had been taught at the Academy. To her it wasn’t a sport played for points and prestige. She was a swordswoman and every efficient movement she made spoke of skills honed for life and death struggles. Nero focused on defense and watched her carefully, memorizing the way she held her body before every move, more impressed than he cared to admit. To be able to alternate between maining bow to sword (and magic, had she been employing her full skillset) with this much finesse was a true accomplishment. 

The two circled each other, gauging the other’s intent, but Severia did not spend more than a few moments between attacks. Over and over she thrust toward him, each time learning something, adjusting and coming closer to his flesh. Each time it required more strength, more speed to parry her sword. He could not even manage to get a riposte past her. And from the look on her face, he suspected that she was out for his blood. 

This may have been a mistake, he thought with a grin. Perhaps it is time to show her what I can do. 

He waited for the moment after her next thrust and with surprising speed made a feint toward her outside line while she was still recovering. Severia shifted her body to parry while Nero performed a tight cavazione and thrust toward her center. The look of surprise on her face was more than a little satisfying. As he had guessed, she had not been taught to detect a feint. On the other hand, this edge was rendered moot by her incredible dexterity. Almost more quickly than he could see, she cut back toward his sword, and the tip of her blade scratched his bicep as she just barely managed to parry. 

A red line spread across Nero’s exposed skin. “Well, well. First blood. Congratulations, hero. Would you like to call the bout with that, or shall we continue?”

“I’m not even winded yet,” Severia replied. “If that’s all you have to offer…”

Nero raised his blade. “Not at all. In guardia.”

This time they did not repeat the whole exchange. It was time to use his long arms to his advantage. 

Nero changed his strategy and went directly on the offensive, forcing Severia into a defensive stance. He pressed forward, forcing her to retreat step by step and while he struggled to penetrate her defense, neither could she gain his sword. He had almost pushed her up against the surrounding cliff face yet she did not look concerned and he wondered what she might still have up her sleeve. Perhaps he had better end this while he could.

“Care to surrender, hero?” he asked. 

Severia’s eyes flashed. “Make me.”

She executed an unexpected transverse step, moving herself out of the line of his blade and swinging her sword faster than sound toward his neck. Nero swore under his breath and abandoned all thought of attack in a desperate scramble to protect his precious skin. 

And that was when he realized that she had not yet shown him her true swordsmanship. She began to hold her sword differently, to move differently, in a style that took full advantage of her wicked speed. But it was no style he had ever seen before. It occurred to him that she had merely been imitating him before, spontaneously and yet perfectly. This was the way she really fought with the rapier.  

He forfeited ground quickly after that and knew that he had lost. By the look on her face, she knew it too, but her attacks lost none of their terrible force and precision. 

Seven hells, is she trying to kill me? His eyes widened as she beat his weakened sword away and struck once again toward his neck. There was nothing he could do to stop it. He made to retreat once more but in his panic his foot slid on loose gravel, bringing him down on one knee. Nero closed his eyes and waited for her to decide his fate. 

When he opened them again Severia’s blade was a scant inch from his skin. He looked from the sword to her where she stood outlined by stars, her lips parted and her chest rising and falling gently. 

Well, if I could choose a way to go, this would certainly be near the top of the list, he thought as he dropped his sword to earth. 

Severia withdrew her rapier and stabbed it into the ground next to him. He didn’t know what that portended, but what happened was the last thing he expected. Covering the ground between them in two steps, Severia grabbed his face in both her hands and crushed her lips against his with bruising force. On his knees, Nero was slightly shorter than her and she took full advantage. Twisting one of her hands into the hair at the back of his head, she jerked his head back and dominated his mouth with her own. 

Fuck. It was the first time they had kissed since that night, years ago now, at the Gold Saucer and he felt every point of contact like an electric current. 

His hands went to her waist and the tantalizing expanse of her bare midriff. Smooth skin over taut muscles, the unique texture of her scales. Nero pulled her body into his as he ran his tongue over her lower lip, reveling in the gasp this elicited from her. Her mouth opened to him and he accepted the invitation, coaxing forth her hesitant tongue. Their kisses tasted of sweat and yearning.

Pressing herself against him, Severia wrapped a leg around Nero’s waist. He shifted his arms to support her, letting one hand move up her back to explore the territory under her top. Severia’s fingers answered his advance, plucking and clawing at his shirt as she she would tear it off of him. Nero would have obliged her, but he was afraid to let her go. Afraid she would come to her senses any moment. 

Breathless, she broke off their kiss. Her hands were back in his hair as she gazed down at him, her face flushed, and whispered his name. “Nero…”

“Severia,” he responded as he took the opportunity to plant kisses along the scales of her neck. “Severia…” His mouth proceeded down to the V shape of scales that covered her chest and he reached to pull the shoulder of her shirt down so as to continue uninterrupted. But he had gone too far for her that night. 

She pulled away, covering her chest with her hands. “I… I…” She didn’t know what to say, was not sure exactly what she was feeling. Part of her wanted him to never stop, but the greater part was frightened by what she had already done, by the way her body reacted to him. It felt out of her control. It felt good. “I don’t... know what I’m doing.” Panicking, she rushed past Nero back toward the campsite, seeking the comforting solitude of her tent. 

Nero, still on his knees, let out a great sigh and sat down in the dust, hand running through his hair, but a smile crept back onto his face. “I think this can still be counted as progress.”

#Wondrous Tails #wondroustailsofffxiv #wondroustailsofffxivwriting #Severia x Nero #Severia Zetsuen #Nero tol Scaeva #fencing #kissing

[writershyy]

Hey! So this will be a little update to my last post just hoping to reach more people if possible. If you haven't seen my last post, nice to meet you, I'm a writer and I've just started doing commissions!

This post will hold pricing ranges, what I specialize in, and other things that you need to know before you book a commission!

PRICING

1k words - $10 (short scene)

2k - 4k words - $15 - $25 (long scene)

5k - 7k words - $30 - $40 (extra long scene)

7k + words - please reach out and I will name a price!

I do take into consideration that people have budgets but I also know my worth and won't do too low on negotiating. If there's any issue with that you are welcome to find a different commissioner to meet your needs!

I have gotten a few hits for commissions and to those people I am very grateful! It means the world that people are willing to work with me and you are greatly appreciated.

Now, for what I specialize in. I normally write sad, emotional scenes because that's where I started. I'm not limited to this but this is what I work with best.

I am more than happy to do things that include:

Fanfiction

Romance

Anything historically related

Fiction

Etc! Like I said, if you have a vision go ahead and reach out and I'll see what I can do. I'm very happy making myself familiar with characters from a show or anime, etc if you want something of that nature and I can do so rather quickly with the details you give me. I'm the writer, but you are the artist. I'll take specific details as it makes it easier for me to appeal to your needs. I do not shame others for their interests but if it makes me uncomfortable then unfortunately you'll have to find a different commissioner to write your story.

Take into consideration that I have a very busy life and if you want a relatively long scene there will be a short (but worth it) wait for your commission. I do apologize for the waiting period, I try my best but I do not want to rush through and half ass your commission because I'm worried about speed. Art takes time, I consider my writing art.

Fanfiction isn't my favorite thing in the world. If anything it's the genre that takes a while for me to write, especially if I'm unfamiliar with the characters or the show.

Romance is my best quality in writing and those kinds of scenes are the ones I can write the quickest but also the best! The whole point of doing commissions for me isn't about the money but is about practice and learning how to write from different views and perspectives. I'm hoping that I can learn a lot while doing commissions!

Keep in mind that when you reach other I am more than happy to work with you about your story and what you want! I can contribute to the ideas and help you figure it out if you're unsure. I will also ask a lot of questions just to make sure I'm doing exactly what you want because I want nothing but for you to be satisfied with my work. I can give a preview before payment and you can ask me to change anything about the work beforehand! As long as you leave happy, I have no complaints.

I do take payment via cash app at this time, no other way unfortunately. You don't have to pay upfront but the price will be set before I begin writing. I don't do refunds, be sure to tell me if there's anything wrong before you pay me to prevent these problems.

I do take tips also! Things are rough out here and I'm just looking to indulge in my passion while making others happy with my work at the same time. After it's been written and it's in your possession I have no concerns on what you do with it! It's yours.

Everyone have a wonderful night and if you're interested it would mean the world to me if you reach out! Thank you for your time!

P.S. - anyone who's rude or not understanding will not be commissioned. I'm hoping we can get along or I will simply decline and not write your story. I will not deal with any rude customers, I simply do not have the patience. Thank you for your time.

#romance #writing commissions #writerscommunity #writers #commissions #writing #writerslife #fanfiction #fiction #stories #writers of tumblr

[ear-worthy]

"Kelly Corrigan Wonders" Podcast: Listen To Her Rupture & Repair Mini-Series

Life is easy when we all agree. And consciously or not, we tend to surround ourselves with people who have a similar worldview. The exception is family, so when Mom and Dad become 24/7 Fox News watchers, we try to get along for the sake of family cohesion, despite the crazy shit they now say.

For a lot of us, we adopt a "let's keep silent" approach to meeting others, in which there is agreement not to bring up any topics that can cause conflict.

The problem with that strategy is you often don't know the triggers of others. For example, I ordered a Bud Light one evening because it was on tap and had two people in our party threaten to leave. The other day, I mentioned Taylor Swift's historic win at the Grammys and was informed that the singer and the NFL conspired to fix the Super Bowl for the Kansas City Chiefs. 

That's why I think author / host /podcaster Kelly Corrigan ofKelly Corrigan Wonders has a much better idea.

 How can we discuss–productively–the most contentious issues between us? That’s the question beneath Kelly Corrigan WondersRupture and Repair series, five conversations about navigating dicey topics. The series is a deep dive into the hardest conversations between people, partners, families and groups.  

“Through five unforgettable success stories, it gives our country the informed hope it’s hungry for and a set of principles and practices to follow,” Corrigan says. Avoiding topics where opposite perspectives are held might seem easier, but Kelly aims to educate and inspire us to engage in meaningful and necessary exchanges to better understand each other. The series looks at rupture and repair from several angles: marriage and family, political and personal, religious and secular. Each episode features Kelly in conversation with a guest who has seen the rupture between people and discovered ways to repair. Guests include Monica Guzman, Manu Meel, Julie Schwartz Gottman and John Gottman, Simon Greer, and April Lawson. By the end, Kelly Corrigan surfaces thoughtful and effective strategies that she puts to the test as she has her own difficult conversation about a woman’s right to choose. 

My favorite episodes include the one with marriage experts The Gottmans. In the episode, they discuss the right and wrong ways for couples to fight and how to better resolve their differences. HINT: keeping your mouth shut and burying your resentment doesn't work. 

Anyone who is married or in a long-term relationship should listen to this episode. I learned a lot, and so will many listeners.

The episode where Corrigan (who is pro-choice) talks with April Lawson (who is pro-life) is a masterclass in deftly handling difficult conversations. Listen to this Corrigan - Lawson discussion, then go back and listen to the Biden-Trump debates of 2020 and tell me who is better at managing these difficult conversations. HINT: It's not the old geezers. Kelly Corrigan is a four-time New York Times bestselling author and the host of PBS’ long-form interview show Tell Me More. Kelly Corrigan Wonders is a show for people who like to laugh while they think and find it useful to look closely at ourselves and our weird ways in the hopes that knowing more and feeling more will help us do more and be better. A former newspaper columnist and four time bestselling author, Kelly wonders about loads of stuff: is knowing more always good? Can we trust our gut? How does change actually happen? She loves talking with nice people who have a sense of humor and know things worth knowing. Each episode ends with Corrigan’s shortlist of takeaways, appropriate for refrigerator doors, bulletin boards and notes to your children.

Kelly Corrigan Wonders is played weekly on KQED, WHYY and 14 other NPR stations across the country. The podcast, distributed by PRX, has been downloaded over 14 million times and has close to 3,000 5-star reviews across platforms. It is available on all major podcast platforms, including Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and Amazon Music. Listeners can subscribe to Kelly's newsletter and follow her on Instagram for more updates.

Let me finish by offering an example of how good Kelly Corrigan is, and it's not even on her own podcast. 

 In the December 14, 2023, episode of Sound Judgment, host Elaine Appleton Grant interviewed Corrigan about the skills needed to be a superb podcast host and interviewer.

In the episode, Grant and Corrigan share stories of their battle with cancer, stimulating our empathy muscle.

"I'm trying to make your listening worth it. We are asking for your attention, which is an exquisite currency, with so much coming at you," Corrigan observes.

Corrigan notes that "People have their go-to sound bites during interviews." She adds that people who are interviewed often develop an expertise about the event.

In an interview, Corrigan seeks out something not said before from the interview subject.  Corrigan wants the best from an interview subject. She explains how she goes beyond the mutually agreed-upon script to search for personal revelations. 

Then, Corrigan introduces the concept of intellectual humility, replacing conviction with curiosity because we don't know what we don't know. 

"Personal information in an interview lands for listeners," Corrigan. "It lands in the context of their life."

Corrigan recommends listening to a potential guest to get a sense of their cadence and rhythm before you interview them.Check out Kelly Corrigan Wonders and her five-part Rupture and Repair series. Sit down, have a cup of coffee or tea, and be prepared to get shoved out of your comfort zone and love every minute of it.

#podcast #podcasting #psychology #relationship

[haarute]

sorry that this is late but for that long list of ask me things #4

4: What do you think about most?

okay this will be a lot

i don't have a particular thing i think about throughout the day as i usually get distracted by whatever i come across with work, hobbies, social media, etc. so what i think about the most would have to be a recurring thought in the long-term, which for me, is almost daily constant introspection.

without getting into too many details let's say i hit a major depressive episode i never fully recovered from at age 15 and just kinda shut down. i ran away from the things that hurt me (which historically is a recurring bad habit of mine), leaving people close to me behind when i shouldn't have because i wanted to be alone.

but since humans are social creatures, after a while i tried to meet new people and get along with them, but in retrospect those relationships were shallow and desperate. it's incredibly easy to just say nice things to people who need to hear them until they like you, but you're not actually forming a connection because you're not a real person, and often times, neither is the other party. you're just leeching off of each other with the illusion of kindness.

eventually that led to a another episode followed by the thought that i kept hurting people by not being able to keep my emotions in check and just acting out of selfish impulses. so i decided to completely dedicate myself to "improving" my person so that i wouldn't have to hurt anyone again.

i'm a few weeks away from being 27 now, and i've spent almost 10 years essentially running therapy sessions with myself every day. going over all of my life events, my feelings, my actions, and how to best minimize the amount of "damage" i inflict on others which has mostly led me to a hermit lifestyle. but let's be honest, that's also partially an excuse because i'm afraid of getting hurt again.

now the problem with that mentality is obviously thinking that suppressing my ego is somehow a good thing and not an incredibly damaging thing to do not only for me but for anyone that might care about me, which is not something i have any control over.

this is a mentality that i am just finally starting to grow out of almost a decade later, but it's really hard and i still default to seeing myself and any of my wants or needs (or even other people's) as something inherently bad. desire as something inherently selfish. and we could tie a plethora of gender issues imparted onto me by my upbringing and immediate family into this, but let's not go there today.

ultimately the place where i land now is one where i'm realizing how much of my life has been lost already, and how much of my decisions have been super damaging for literally everyone involved. which to my surprise, and even if i try to be as alone as possible, goes beyond only me.

so now i'm starting to actually allow myself to express my true feelings a bit more. i try to be a bit more outspoken and reach out to others and maybe even make friends, except this time i'm like a real normal person and not someone running simulations in order to be liked. fun fact, i believe i may be autistic and would like to get a diagnosis sometime this year.

however, circling back to the original question (because there was a question at the beginning of this), i have done this for so long that it's almost impossible for me to stop the way my brain works now. i think i've forever been rewired into analyzing everything and trying to problem solve my humanity, which is something that is unquantifiable. but i am always trying, if anything, to be a better person, except now i can tell that i shouldn't suppress my own self for that goal. but it is very much a daily process for me.

in a different life, i probably would have been a buddhist monk.

#only click read more if you want to read long personal stuff #thanks for asking!

[lowtaxsa]

John Galt VS. Nikolai Bukharin

[Scene: A dimly lit stage with a table and three chairs. LOWTAX sits in the middle, a glass of whiskey in hand. On his left sits JOHN GALT, and on his right, NIKOLAI BUKHARIN. LOWTAX, with a crooked smile, begins the introduction.]

LOWTAX: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the most half-assed debate you'll ever have the misfortune of witnessing. Tonight, we have two illustrious figures who couldn't be more different if they tried. On my left, we have the poster boy for selfishness and greed, the one and only John "I-Only-Love-Me" Galt. Born from the fevered imagination of Ayn Rand, Galt is the epitome of rugged individualism and the protagonist of her magnum opus, "Atlas Shrugged." This dude is all about the free market, limited government, and never letting anyone mooch off his success. And on my right, we have the champion of the working class, the Bolshevik dreamer himself, Nikolai "Sharing-is-Caring" Bukharin. A real-life figure, Bukharin was a key player in the Russian Revolution and a prominent Soviet politician and economist. He advocated for a more moderate approach to socialism, which ultimately put him at odds with his more radical comrades. Let's try to keep things civil, boys – or don't, I don't really care.

GALT: [Irritated] I'm here to discuss the virtues of individualism and laissez-faire capitalism. That is the only path to true freedom and prosperity.

LOWTAX: [Sarcastically] Oh, yeah, because capitalism has worked out so well for everyone. [Takes a sip of whiskey]

BUKHARIN: I must interject, comrade. The path to prosperity lies in the collective ownership of the means of production and the abolition of class struggle.

LOWTAX: [Nods] Well said, Nikolai. Now, Johnny-boy, tell us again how leaving everything to selfish billionaires will save humanity.

GALT: [Annoyed] It's about the freedom to create and innovate without the suffocating hand of the state. Individual ambition drives progress.

LOWTAX: [Laughs] Yeah, good luck explaining that to the millions living in poverty. [Takes another sip of whiskey]

BUKHARIN: The key to eliminating poverty is to redistribute wealth and control the means of production collectively.

LOWTAX: [Interrupting] Hold on, Nikolai, let's hear Galt's brilliant solution to poverty. Go on, John, enlighten us.

GALT: [Visibly frustrated] It's not about handouts, it's about providing opportunities and rewarding hard work and innovation. People must be free to make their own choices.

LOWTAX: [Mocking] Yeah, like the "choice" to starve or work for slave wages. Great options there, buddy.

BUKHARIN: [Tries to jump in] If I may, we need to address the historical context of our respective ideologies...

LOWTAX: [Interrupting again] Hold that thought, Nikolai. Johnny, tell me how you justify vast income inequality when so many people suffer.

GALT: [Growing angrier] Income inequality is a natural result of rewarding talent and hard work. It's the price of a free society.

LOWTAX: [Smirking] So, you're saying the poor are just lazy and untalented? That's a pretty bold statement.

BUKHARIN: Comrades, we must focus on the structural issues, not personal attacks. The exploitation of workers under capitalism is a systemic problem.

GALT: [Ignores Bukharin, focuses on Lowtax] I'm not saying that. I'm saying that individuals must have the freedom to succeed or fail based on their own merits.

LOWTAX: [Chuckles] Meritocracy, huh? Tell that to the kids born into poverty with no access to education or opportunities. Real fair shot they've got there.

[Suddenly, MECHA-LOWTAX bursts through the wall, causing debris to scatter across the stage.]

MECHA-LOWTAX: You're all wrong! Anarcho-syndicalism is the way forward, you fools! Direct democracy and worker control of industry – that's the only path to a truly free and equal society!

LOWTAX: [Laughs and raises his glass] Well, look who's come to crash the party! Mecha-Lowtax, everybody! The embodiment of my drunken rants!

GALT: [Fuming] This is absurd! We were having a serious debate here!

MECHA-LOWTAX: [Pounds his metallic chest] Oh, please, Galt. Your "serious debate" is nothing more than a glorified shouting match. Allow me to present a real alternative.

BUKHARIN: [Calmly] I'm open to hearing your perspective, comrade. Let's refocus on the issues at hand.

LOWTAX: [Takes another sip of whiskey] Why not? Let's see what Mecha-me has to say.

MECHA-LOWTAX: It's simple, really. Workers need to control their own destinies, not bow to the whims of the state or the capitalist class. Through direct action and decentralized organization, we can build a society based on cooperation and mutual aid.

GALT: [Scoffs] And who will ensure order and progress in such a chaotic system?

MECHA-LOWTAX: The workers themselves, Galt. By having a direct say in their workplaces and communities, they can find the most effective solutions to problems without resorting to top-down control.

BUKHARIN: I can see the merits of such a system, but how can we ensure the welfare of all citizens without a strong central authority?

MECHA-LOWTAX: It's about empowering local communities to make decisions that affect them, while still maintaining a sense of solidarity and mutual support on a larger scale.

LOWTAX: [Chuckles] This is turning into a real ideological smackdown. Gotta say, though, I'm kinda digging Mecha-me's ideas.

GALT: [Indignant] But it's a pipe dream! It would never work in practice!

MECHA-LOWTAX: You underestimate the power of the people, Galt. Once they throw off the chains of capitalism and the state, they will be free to create a truly just and equal society.

LOWTAX: [Grinning] You tell 'em, Mecha-me! Hey, Johnny-boy, you're looking a little pale there. Can't handle the heat?

GALT: [Infuriated] This whole thing is a farce! I won't stand for it any longer! [Picks up a chair and throws it at Mecha-Lowtax]

MECHA-LOWTAX: [Dodges the chair] Bring it on, you capitalist swine! [Picks up a chair and hurls it back at Galt]

[As Galt and Mecha-Lowtax continue to throw chairs and insults, Bukharin quietly stands up and attempts to slip away from the chaos.]

BUKHARIN: [Whispering] I think I'll take my leave, comrades. This debate has clearly spiraled out of control. [Exits stage]

[The scene devolves into a chaotic mess of flying chairs, cursing, and drunken laughter as Lowtax and the debaters abandon any semblance of civility, leaving the audience to wonder what they just witnessed.]

#lowtax speaks #heavy hitter debates #big blog #john galt #nikolai bukharin #mecha lowtax

[lichlab]

One D&D: Expert Classes (Rogue Opinions)

Once again organizing my thoughts on the One D&D playtest, this time looking at rogues.

There's a lot I can say about rogues. I was a rogue in a 3.5 campaign. I was a gnome, who used magic to make myself tiny (with an amulet that let me fly). My daggers did 1 damage but the sneak attack more than made up for it. I had more skills than I knew what to do with so I got very good at Performance (Ventriloquism) and got a lot of mileage out of that. I remember that time very fondly.

I've also been a DM in most campaigns I've been involved with and any DM will tell you that no one will cause you more headaches than rogues (except for druids. I fear druids above all else). That's just part of the dynamic. The rogue wants to do something insane. You reluctantly allow them to roll for it, setting an unreasonably high DC. They succeed anyway and you have to live with it. That's D&D.

Anecdotally you do seem to run into a lot of problem players in the rogue class. I think a lot of them heard stories about wild shit rogues did and try to force it and just become a problem for everyone. You don't have to force it. Let it happen naturally. Don't try to be "that guy."

Rogues are the class DMs love to hate. We're natural enemies, locked in an eternal struggle until the end of time. I say all of this with love. I'm married to someone who always takes at least a couple rogue levels. They just can't help it.

Rogues have also historically been one of the "best" classes. Sneak attack means you can do a mountain of damage very consistently. Having a lot of skills (and extra bonuses to them) mean you have a lot of options in exploration and social encounters that others don't. They also tend to have a lot of defensive abilities that make it hard to punish them for their sins. (DM tip: give your bad guys the Sentinel and Alert feats.)

I don't talk about balance a lot because balance in a cooperative game is a tricky issue. Every class should be very good at doing what it's intended to do. Where things get tricky is when one class is too good at too many things, which leaves the rest of the party with fewer opportunities to be the star. I don't think that's inherently a problem with rogues, but it's something to watch out for.

So, all that said, let's look at some of the changes here.

Sneak Attack

There's a slight tweak to Sneak Attack that you might miss if you don't read it carefully. (I missed it the first time and only saw it because I saw some babies crying about it.)

There's a lot of different language here but the only substantial difference is that in the original version, you could use sneak attack on any attack roll once per turn. In the new version you can only do sneak attack damage when you take the Attack Action; which means that (unlike previously) you can't do that extra damage if you attack with a reaction or bonus action.

Personally I don't really see the need for this. In the live system, if you miss your Attack you still have some opportunities if you can attack with a bonus action or a reaction. I don't really think anyone benefits by taking that away. It's not as devastating as I've seen some people on Twitter insisting, but it does seem unnecessary.

Cunning Action

Cunning Action is the bane of many DMs (and I do say that in a loving way). It hasn't changed, but there are some slight tweaks to the dash and hide actions which are worth looking at.

While both the old and new versions of Dash mean effectively the same thing (outside of perhaps some carefully orchestrated edge cases) the new language is much cleaner and simpler.

Hiding gets a bit of an overhaul here.

Hiding has always been kind of a mess, and I've heard a lot of arguments over it. (A lot of would-be rules lawyers like to forget that first line "The DM decides when circumstances are appropriate for hiding.") It's kind of a messy process that relies a lot on interpretation, roleplaying, and what kind of mood your DM is in. The new rules try to simplify that.

So in the playtest version, you take the Hide Action to gain the Hidden condition. That's definitely simpler and cleaner. There are very clear circumstances under which you can take the Hide action, and it's spelled out very clearly what benefits the Hidden condition grants you.

Now, I don't like every part of this. Setting the Stealth DC for hiding at a flat 15 means that enemies the Perception skill of most enemies will be irrelevant. Maybe that's something they want to phase out. If so, I'm not a fan of it. Knowing that you're going up against more perceptive enemies changes your approach. You might be confident that you can creep past a group of dwarven miners; less confident if it's wood elf rangers who probably have Expertise in Perception. I feel like setting the DC at a flat 15 takes some important tools away from the DM and also makes it less rewarding to have extremely high stealth scores. If a 15 is the same as a 25, that insanely high roll doesn't feel nearly as good.

As far as the actual effects of the Hidden condition, I think I need to actually see those in action before I have a firm opinion on them. I also think a lot of rogues are going to struggle with the concept of "you have to have 3/4ths cover", and the arguments over what exactly that means.

Other Features

Most of the Rogue's features are the same. There are some minor tweaks in the language and some come at slightly higher levels but they still have all the staples. Uncanny Dodge, Evasion, Reliable Talent, Slippery Mind, and Elusive all remain. Slippery Mind even gets more powerful, giving you proficiency in Wisdom AND Charisma saving throws (instead of only Wisdom). The new Subtle Strikes feature is nice; everyone loves having advantage on most attack rolls.

Overall there are very few changes here. The tweaks are minor, outside of an overhaul to how hiding works (which is not specific to rogues). It feels like the design team was pretty happy with where rogues already were and didn't change much.

Thief Subclass

We also get a look at the thief subclass. The new version is distinctly superior to the old, and it looks like a lot more fun.

The new version of Second-Story work is cleaner and more potent. The new Supreme Sneak is also stronger, and you get it sooner.

The new Thief's Reflexes is definitely weaker than the old version (getting a second Bonus Action instead of an entire second turn) but that makes sense given that it comes at a lower level. I promise any rogue worth their salt will make that bonus action feel like a full turn.

What I really love here is the Use Magic Device feature. I adore the idea of a rogue who has stolen so much magical garbage they can mumble their way through a scroll or squeeze some extra juice out of a wand. It delights me.

Summary

There are some small changes here that I'm sure children on Twitter are whining loudly about. They're small changes, I promise. You'll be fine. You'll still get Sneak Attack most of the time; it's an unnecessary change but not a game ender. Some things are shifted around to different levels. None of that is a big deal.

The only thing here I have a real issue with is the Hide action and that flat DC 15. The more I think about it (and talk about it with my rogue spouse) the worse I like it. If I had to pick any one change to veto here, that would be it.

#d&d #one dnd

[xcrystalzero]

love languages

Characters Included: Kaeya, Diluc, Xiao, Zhongli

Kaeya:

Giving: Words of Affirmation, Physical Touch

-Have you heard this man's voice-lines? The dude is the literal definition of a sweet-talker.

-Will constantly be telling you how good you look in that new outfit or how well-spoken you just were or how good you are at everything your do.

-Also kind of handsy??

-Not like in an obnoxious way (well at least not all the time). Loves to have a hand around your waist when you guys are just talking at the tavern or taking a walk around Mondstat.

-Will 100% grab your ass out of nowhere and then pretend like nothing happened.

Receiving: Physical Touch, Quality Time

- On the other hand, if you grab his ass, he may pass away on the spot.

-Absolutely loves it when you initiate physical contact, especially in public. Will tease you every single time about it but loves seeing this "bold" side of you.

"Oh? Someone's a little needy today." Kaeya cooed as he turned to glance over his shoulder at the way you were currently clinging to his back. You pouted up at him, making a show of slowly pulling away.

"You don't like it? I guess I'll just need to go find someone else to hug... You think Diluc is at the tavern?" You had taken a single step away when a pair of arms wound their way around your waist.

"Hey now..." There's a bit of a warning in his voice but it's nothing harsh. His breath hits your skin as he nuzzles into the crook of your neck, sending a shiver down your spine. "I never said that."

-Has a pretty packed schedule as a captain so he doesn't have much free time to spend just chilling. So when you take time out of your equally busy schedule specifically to spend with him, he gets all warm and tingly inside.

-Especially loves it when you do the planning since again, he's a busy man. If you show up at the Knight's headquarters and are just like "get in loser, we're going on a date" he'll probably fall in love all over again.

Diluc:

Giving: Gift Giving, Acts of Service

-Mans is the second-richest person in all of Tevat. If even bring up a slight interest in something, expect it to show up at your doorstep the next day, perfectly gift-wrapped.

-Will shrug it off when you confront him about it, wondering why you're making a big deal out of something so trivial.

"Diluc why is there an army of stuffed animals on my porch?" You aren't sure what your eyes are supposed to be. The fiery-haired man before you or the 50 fluffy creatures arranged in perfectly packaged boxes sitting on the ground in front of you.

"The other day, you said you thought they were cute" Diluc shrugs as he weaves his way through the maze of little creatures to stand by your side.

"THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU BUY THEM ALL!"

-Also likes to make things easier for you whenever he can.

-He's always offering to call you a carriage so you don't have to walk places, or make sure that all of the errands are done before you get a chance to get to them.

-He just wants to reduce any stress in your life and it's cute.

Receiving: Physical Touch, Words of Affirmation

-Touch-starved motherfucker.

-Somewhat shy when it comes to PDA and just general affection but over time, he gets used to it and starts to crave it.

-Will never ask you for affection directly but will definitely hint at it. He'll let his hand rest gently on your shoulder for just a little bit too long, or linger after he's already said goodnight, and that's how you know that he wants some love and affection.

-Really likes when you run your hands through his hair. There's just something so soothing about it, especially since he hasn't allowed someone to be that comfortable with him in a while. May just fall asleep in your arms if you keep doing it.

-In the same way, he likes to hear praises. He's not a man who needs to be told by others that he's doing the right thing or that he's doing a good job, but it does kind of feel nice when you're the one saying those things to him.

Xiao:

Giving: Acts of Service, Gift Giving

-He feels like he has nothing of his own to give so he tries to make himself useful in the only way he knows how.

-You mentioned that there's this commission you took that's harder than you expected and has had you busy for the past few days? Oh look at that, somehow the issue is solved. The Treasure Hoarders seem to be creeping too close to the trading ports for comfort. Not anymore they're not.

-Gets borderline creepy at some points where he seems to know every little thing you're struggling with and be able to solve all your problems immediately but are you really going to complain?

-Will constantly bring you food or little things that he saw that reminded him of you.

"Here, take this."

You glance puzzled at the hand the adeptus has outstretched to you. Gently, you reach out and take whatever it is he is offering you, bringing it up to your face to observe. A soft chuckle leaves your lips. In your hands is a tiny butterfly seemingly constructed of folded and interlocking leaf strips.

"Aww Xiao, did you make this for me?"

"I... I just happened to have it," he stutters out, looking anywhere except at you. That does nothing but coax another soft laugh out of you as you gently lean your head against his shoulder.

"Thank you, I'll take good care of it."

"... you better."

Receiving: Words of Affirmation, Physical Touch

- Normally, he thinks the sweet-talking of mortals is just another form of manipulation. That being said, when he hears any of those sugared phrases coming from you, his heart skips a beat.

-The first few times you complemented him, he literally had to stop and process for a second because wow. That felt great.

"Mortals are so incapable," Xiao mutters as he brushes slime condensate off of his sleeve. You sheath your sword before turning back to him, a grin on your face.

"Well anyone would be compared to you. You're really amazing you know!"

He froze. They were just words and nothing he hadn't heard before from workers at the inn or humans in the past, so why was his heart beating to fast?

"Xiao?" You questioned, catching up to him and waving a hand slowly in front of his face.

Coming back to his senses, Xiao huffed, turning his head to the side to hide the red creeping onto his cheeks. "Shut up..."

-Surprisingly enough, also really really likes when you touch him. Of course, always ask first or he might just straight up deck you on sheer instinct.

-But as he gets more and more comfortable around you, he grows to love the way you will absentmindedly grab his hand whenever you want to show him something or the way you like to brush his hair gently out of his eyes when the wind picks up.

-His ears turn red whenever you touch him, no matter how innocent the touch and he will get flustered if you ever decide to tease him about it.

Zhongli:

Giving: Gift Giving, Quality Time

- For a broke bitch, he sure loves to spoil you. Will always bring you to upscale restaurants to try the most expensive dishes or take you out to the stalls to look at exquisite jewelry.

"Which one should I get?"

"Why not both?"

"And who is going to pay for that?"

"That... I did not consider."

- Likes to be around you whenever he can. He's not the busiest person now that he's basically given up the job he had for so long (spoilers???) so he has more time to spend with you.

-If you don't mind, he likes to just be around you throughout the day as you do your own thing, just enjoying being in your company.

Receiving: Quality Time

-The dude has been alive for so long, he just wants to spend some of that time with someone else.

-His favorite thing is just to wander around Liyue Harbor with you, pointing out historical landmarks or just rambling around the history of the land. Loves it when you ask him questions about things or just generally express interest in the things he is talking about.

"That section of the harbor actually used to be a theater."

"Like for plays?"

"Yes actually. However, it was demolished as a sign of the end of the cultural revolution as the city turned to trade as its primary focus."

"Oh yeah you were telling me about that yesterday!" You remark excitedly, gaze drifting around as though you are attempting to imagine the world Zhongli describes. But he is only looking at you, a warm smile spreading slowly over his face.

There is no shortage of people in Liyue Harbor to listen to his stories but only your commit them to memory almost immediately, constantly asking him questions and wanting to learn more about his world. And just for that, he thinks he may fall even deeper in love with you.

note: let me know if you guys like this and i'll do a part two with some of the characters i missed!

#genshin impact #kaeya #diluc #xiao #zhongli #genshin x reader #kaeya x reader #diluc x reader #xiao x reader #zhongli x reader

[allthemarrowoflife]

i have a lot of headcanons about characters becoming teachers after graduating hogwarts. like, it's probably my favourite "after the plot is over and the war is won and they're supposed to go live happily ever after" trope.

give me professor sprout retiring not because she's tired and actually needs to, but because she wants to open the position so neville longbottom can take over. give me him always forgetting to put on his teacher robes and just teaching all day in a too big jumper and a dirt stained overall. him being the deputy headmaster and the head of gryffindor house, so respected as a war hero and a herbology academic that first years get intimidated, only to be greeted before the sorting ceremony by this short and cuddly looking guy with a kind smile and encouraging words to ease their nerves. him giving the best introductory class at the start of term and asking each student about their favourite plant, making everyone feel welcomed and appreciated, letting them know that it's okay to struggle and to come to him for help.

give me harry giving up on becoming an auror because at this point he's done with action and just wants to settle down, so he takes the DADA position. him teaching in flannels and leather jackets and ripped jeans and converses, because he's not used to wizard robes and finds them uncomfortable. unlike neville, the students don't break their awe and nervousness about being taught by The harry potter instantly upon meeting him, because his horrible resting bitch face still makes him seem intimidating and too serious, so the anxious looks and amazed whispers only stop during his first class when he actually starts talking and smiling and joking. him making almost every class be practical, putting music on and pushing the furniture against the wall, because it's best to learn defense on your feet than just by reading the theory from a book. him being the teacher that is focused and gets the work done but makes the students have so much fun while doing it that they all groan when his class is over. him doing his best to help and make the kids feel safe when they come to him about personal problems, offering a piece of chocolate before they leave and saying "eat, you'll feel better".

give me mcgonnagal FINALLY convincing professor binns to cross over to the afterlife and let someone younger and less socially outdated have the position. so susan bones comes and becomes the head of hufflepuff house, makes the history of magic classes interesting, shows the students that it's an extremely important subject that doesn't deserve to be dismissed as "boring" just because someone couldn't do it right. instead of falling asleep by the first ten minutes, the kids spend the whole time on the edge of their seats, attention gripped by her storyteller way of explaining different events. her giving the students freedom to interact with the narrative, encouraging them to raise their hands and share their thoughts, ask questions, give examples, tell their stories or the stories of people they know. her promoting debates about important historical points and socially relevant issues. when it's time to talk about contemporary history and the first and second wizarding wars, give me her inviting friends and acquaintances to tell their own stories.

give me justin finch-fletchley being one of the first ever muggleborn teachers, personally invited by mcgonnagal to take the transfiguration position. him being the complete opposite of what you would expect from someone who teaches such a methodical and complicated subject, with his outgoing and bubbly nature. the students feeling at ease in his class because they know that if they don't understand at first, they can always ask him later and he will patiently explain again. him joking around the classroom to demonstrate the spells, making the students laugh so much their stomachs hurt. him saying that it's okay to not succeed at first, or ever, because in the end what matters is that you tried and your grades don't define you.

the older teachers not being used to having such young colleagues, specially considering they were still students just a few years before, and developing the habit of calling them "the youngsters". in turn, neville, harry, susan and justin taking years to stop feeling weird about calling their former teachers by their first names.

them gossiping with flitwick and trelawney over cups of tea in the teachers room in between classes.

them being introduced to the decades-ongoing betting pool about the students' love lives and getting excited to participate.

them joking with hagrid during lunch at the teachers table.

them actively refusing to turn a blind eye to bullying in the school, overlook prejudiced comments or dismiss the students' mental health, because it's fresh in their minds how harmful that can be.

the students waving at them when they walk by because they're comfortable doing so, knowing they're supposed to respect their teachers, but not fear them.

them respecting their students' learning particularities and disabilities, advocating for squibs to be able to attend hogwarts because most classes don't even require actual casting of spells anyway, it's only a matter of adjusting timetables so they don't have to take those.

harry finally having the peace and quiet he deserves, no more fighting or saving anyone. just a steady life of stressing over teenagers and sipping tea in his office.

neville being the person he needed when he was younger, making sure his students never feel stupid or ridiculed. praising each of their achievements, no matter how small, and reminding then constantly that they're not a disappointment and that he's proud.

susan breaking the image of the softie hufflepuff, being the most serious and strict teacher, second only to mcgonnagal herself. her sense of justice will have her give a student a month of detention for making fun of someone's appearance and everyone knows that if you're caught cheating at her test your marks are fucked.

justin being amazing at teaching one of the hardest magical subjects and shutting up all the blood supremacists who think muggleborns are less capable. he was underestimated for a while into the transfiguration position, the older staff thought his humor and unusual way of teaching would get the students nowhere in such a meticulous class, but they were proven wrong when kids who wouldn't have looked twice at the subject ended up falling in love with it because of him.

just. give me characters becoming young teachers. barely into their twenties having to teach 11 to 17 year olds, and absolutely loving it. being people the students can look up and relate to. bringing a fresher point of view to an environment that usually just seeks to punish kids instead of understanding them. YOUNG TEACHERS AT HOGWARTS. PLEASE AND THANK YOU FOR COMING TO MY TED TALK.

#me projecting onto fictional characters yet again #yes i've put way too much thought into this hc #neville longbottom #harry potter #susan bones #justin finch fletchley #minerva mcgonagall #filius flitwick #sybill trelawney #rubeus hagrid #gryffindor #hufflepuff #hogwarts #hogwarts professors #harry potter headcanon #harry potter series #post hogwarts #epilogue what epilogue

[xo-alie-xo]

PORTWELL LONG GAME OR RINA SLOWBURN.

You can only choose one poison.🍷

Listen up my Wildcats.🐱

We all ship each character with happiness. No matter how much you love to hate them, a majority of us simply adores the characters and want the best for them. Then comes relationships and it's okay to ship our favorites.⛴

I'm a diehard Rina shipper and I know in my heart that they are series endgame. The set up, the natural chemistry, their mutual understanding, the surprises and angst literally put me on chokehold. So I'm 100% a Rina shipper till the end. I'm here for the slowburn and their development rather than one shots. They are worth the pain. 😭❤

Let me start with Ricky Bowen now.

Ricky shouldn't to be with Gina because he's hurting her mentality. He's not insensitive on purpose. Like when he tried to stop Big Red from telling her his message to Nina because he KNOWS it'll hurt her.

If you think, that Ricky didn't understand clearly when Gina confessed, think again. He shushed her. Kept their thing a secret from everyone. He knows he feels some type of way and she feels something too. But this boy is so used to safeguarding his childhood norms and has very little adaptability. Hence, he pretended to ignore everything between them because his home stability was falling apart and he clinged on to Nina, his constant childhood love.

He's a traumatised 16-17 year old boy that needs to heal and grow. This episode was heartbreaking because he had to accept that he had to let Nina go because their once upon a time fairytale had become toxic.

People change. I'm not the same person I was when I was 16 lmao. Being together as childhood lovers means growing together and accepting each other's growth. Which Ricky couldn't. He clutched to the idea of Nini. Even his love confession. It was sooo sweet but all he did was focus on their history.

This boy needs time to heal and maybe seek professional therapy. It would be so DAMN HISTORIC if Disney decides to take psychological issues seriously and show how he's dealing with his anxiety, pills and psychotherapy. He needs to breathe before he can be with any girl for that matter. He's hurting and isn't trying to hurt anyone on purpose. Including Gina.

Him asking her for advice on Nini was a dumb, insensitive move. But he's trying to find a way to build some supportive friendship that they shared in early season one.

As for now, this boy needs to get his own grip on life and heal.

As for our Queen Gina

In Gina's confession, she focuses on their future. She basically said, "I wouldn't quit on a possible future of us being together despite obstacles. Because I never quit. But moving away isn't in my control." Ricky deep down knows this, encouraged her to say it, teary eyed, despite right after getting back together with Nini. Gina is his future. She went to his new house. And I also have this feeling that when she was given a chance to stay, she stayed partly because of Ricky. She left a chance to be with her mom because she prioritised their relationship. Because she never quits. 💪🏼

But she came back and found out Ricky has gotten back together with Nini.😭 What she doesn't know is Ricky got together with Nina before her confession, and after Gina kept dodging his messages. She's hurt and questions why she returned because she isn't particularly close to anyone. Hence, she was so silent at the after party. She thinks it'll be fine, "she'll live", and finds other reasons to find permanence. Her arc this season has been settling down in East High, despite the pain of losing and being 'betrayed' by Ricky, she finds other reasons to stay. 🏡

This kind of contrasts her with Nina. Nina left her dream school and came to Salt Lake because she missed her established home, and not just because of Ricky. Nina returned and was loved and embraced by Ricky Bowen.💕 Gina came back to a semi new place called Salt Lake because of her promise of a future to Ricky. But she got stabbed and she bled. 💔🗡

Think about her situation. She feels confused, alone, heartbroken, out of place and seperated from her mom. She's broken and hurting too. And she doesn't need more from Ricky's accidental or intentional 'sick burns'. That's the one line where he was such a jerk and I can't defend him here. 😠

Here comes the Caswells.

Her second family. A place of healthy stability. A home that accepted her. Ashlyn, her roomie and her confidante. EJ, the misunderstood boy who saw her value and bought her plane ticket.

Let's get to EJ.

At first, I wasn't too keen on seeing Portwell's development. But then that video chat where they talk about the possibility of her staying and him convincing her. Had me sold for a solid brother-sister relationship. Few episodes later, when Gina's pain seemed to be oblivious to everyone, he was the only one who asked her how she was, and saw her glow. The comfort she must've felt.

Not that she needs a man's validation, but she must be feeling like a second choice and feeling a little insecure because of Ricky. But EJ lifts her up and I genuinely saw her smile. This boy has her back whenever. The man she can lean on and truly sees how special she is. She no longer feels alone now that she has his entire fam and other friends. She genuinely feels a place of belonging and happiness when she's the apple of his eye. Notice how happy she is? How happy this boy is? She's going through her own issues and she has found ground with EJ.

I was very doubtful when they started hinting at a romantic direction. Because EJ would be used as plot device again for a girl to get to Ricky.😤 This man doesn't deserve to be second best to anyone, just like Gina.😑 That's why I'm still hesitant on shipping them at least temporarily. EJ needs to be something even more special to Gina. They need to show each other how special and treasured they are to each other despite feeling like rejects. They are each other's source of comfort.

I'm sure they can keep EJ at East High for the next season. Whether it's the drama club, or the AV club or going to a local college. So he will be there for Gina. I don't know how they can work out a relationship with much distance as Rini's fell out when she moved away. So, if EJ leaves again, it'll again shake up Gina. Her being worried whether he'll date college girls, second thoughts, etc. I don't want them to go through that. And if they do move on to romantic Portwell, make sure it's not plot device for Rina. So you can either have Portwell endgame or Rina Endgame.

Basically I want Gina to be treated so right that she understands she doesn't need Ricky. And when he does ask her out, and he makes her feel like a second choice or a rebound, she says NO. Because EJ has helped regain her self assurance. Eventually I want Gina to confide in EJ about her and Ricky. EJ is jealous but also angry about how Ricky has been hurting her. And becomes damn protective of his 'babe'. Ricky gets jealous of their relationship, restarting Ricky and EJ's old rivalry. But this time, it's not because Gina is his girlfriend, but because she's EJ's best friend who he has a crush on and wants what's best for her.

If it's meant to be Rina endgame

EJ- RICKY, YOU IDIOT! You have no clue how to treat her right. You don't put her first. You mislead her. Get the hell away from her! She's too powerful and beautiful, she doesn't deserve your scraps. I know how she feels for you. I wish I were you. I would treat her like a queen. I don't mind even waiting years till she's ready. She deserves that. You're so lucky you have even a small chance that I may never have. So get your act together, prove you're worth it to win her over. All I want is for her to be happy. Even if it's with someone else. And maybe then I'll stop threatening you to stay away from her.😠

Ricky- .....I don't know what I'm more scared of. Change, or losing the girl I fell for or YOU. Okay, losing her but you're a close second.😬

If it's Portwell endgame.

Ricky- I messed up. Make sure you don't mess up with her. You'll regret it forever.

EJ- I'd rather get hit by thousand basketballs than ever hurt her. I'll be her plus one and her best friend until she's ready to be with me. I know she's ready now too. But I want her to know I'm willing to wait till she graduates before we make it official. I'm in it for the long game.

As for their age gap. I'm 100% sure Portwell won't kiss this season. If they do, it'll be next when Sofia turns 18. They are professional actors who are cast because they are the perfect fit for the role and are expected to carry out the storyline. But I suppose fearing some outbursts, they might delay Sofia kissing anyone till next season. It's so weird because Olivia was maybe 17 when Matt was 21-22 when they kissed in season one. But no one had a problem with that. But for this, they do. Remember, they are professional actors. They are acting! Sometimes, actors are over 10 years apart (but above 18) and act as romantic partners.

As for their characters, they are only two years apart. That's hardly any difference once you're over the age of 18. Age of consent is 16. But adults above 18 are only allowed to have sex with adults above 18. So, age isn't a problem here because EJ is a gentleman and is genuinely interested in her and isn't trying to get in her pants. So age isn't the issue when it comes to dating. It's the maturity. Gina is very mature and gives very sound advice. But I can see EJ being patient enough till she turns 18 just to kiss her because he loves her. 😚

As for the Ashlyn remark, "You look like a kid to me rn". He was JOKING.😂 Don't take things out of context. I tell my cousin sister that all the time. But she's three years younger than me and a grown adult. I don't see her as a kid but it's just a cousin teasing her younger cousin that's she's a little immature. I'm Matt's age and I'm very mature for my age and since I was a teenager, I always matched up with boys a little older than me. Now that I'm in my early 20s, I've dated boys even close to 30. So age is just a number.

EJ dating Gina and giving her quick kisses is fine. But to have a strong sexual element in their relationship (including making out), he'll have to wait till she's 18+. And I'm sure for that he'll wait till she's ready even past her early 20s. Age is really just a number and we can't help who we fall in love with. Trust me, I've been there.😂 So I can see EJ feeling conflicted about his feelings that are clear at this point.

They might not be a perfect fit, but they make each other sooo happy. They deserve a lot more than a short lived fling.😟 They are either endgame or Rina is. You can't have both as a Rina unless you're an EJ hater who wants him to exist as plot device. Nope! He's sooo much more precious than that.

But Jack on the other hand....I'm okay if he's the one to make Ricky or EJ jealous. Because he's just been introduced and it's okay if a character is used, but only once, for someone else to realize their feelings. 💁🏽‍♀️

In short.

Ricky needs help and needs to be on his own. No girlfriends allowed.🙅🏽‍♀️🚫

Needs to give both Gina and Nina space for them to grow on their own too.🌳

Ricky needs to understand the core of his problems and become more adaptable via therapy. Maybe the psychologist will point out his unresolved feelings for Gina, or he will conclude it himself. And in comes Ricky-pining-for-Gina season three.

Ricky needs to fully get over Nina before he moves on to anyone. Same for Gina if Portwell were to happen. No one deserves to be second choice.

Gina isn't Ricky's cushion. She's a living person with strong feelings for him and shouldn't be subjected to share his pain. She already struggles with her own issues.

Ricky needs to stay single till he wins back Gina and prove he's worth it. He needs to show even if another girl wants him, he'll never quit on Gina ever again. Even if he has to watch her be with someone else. *cough parallels*.

It's either romantic Rina then Portwell endgame OR Portwell flirty besties but Rina endgame. You and I can choose only one because my boy EJ shouldn't be used as plot device for a girl to leave for Ricky ever again.

Portwell's age difference can be practically solved and isn't much of an issue unless they get hot and heavy before Gina turns 18 which is impossible considering this is Disney. 🤣🤣

Jack and Gina will be plot device material and purely so sentimental to us OG Andi Mack fans. More than any ship, this is what I'm looking for. Sort of an Andi Mack crack ship for season 3a. It's gonna be soooo funny. 😍😂

I respect everyone's ship. I see what you're seeing. And I'm not going to invalidate your ship. But unless it's done right, I won't jump from the Rina ship. I liked Rini. I like Portwell. I like AU Juffy crackship haha.😂 But as for me, I'm still holding on to Rina slowburn.

Preparing myself for the pain. 😭🔥

(But if I had to pair two characters without Disney getting in the way, it would be Gini. The power duo. Undeniable chemistry. They can be written so well because of their layered relationship and contrasting personalities.🤩 The classic rivals to friends to lovers. But that's a talk for another day lmao.)

Thanks for reading my opinion, Wildcat!🐱❤

#hsmtmts #gina x ricky #rina #ricky bowen #gina porter #ricky x gina #portwell #ej caswell #jack hsmtmts #juffy #jonah beck #andi mack

[mageofseven]

Hi I just recently discovered your blog and I’m in love with your writing! I have a little request if you don’t mind. The brothers (and undateables I’d you want to) finding MC bruised and beaten and later discovering they got into a fight with another demon. Thank you in advance if you decide to write this!

Awww thank you so much! I might end up doing the Undateables in another post, but I'll just stick to the Brothers for this one.

And thanks for requesting 😊

TWs: violence, vague s*xual assault

Spoiler warning: 1st year spoilers in Lucifer's and vaguely in Belphie's section

~

Lucifer:

Was checking out the area under Diavolo's orders.

Apparently there have been some people sneaking around in the old Colosseum and normal methods to keep other demons away from the historical landmark have been futile.

That and word has made it's way that some criminals have been using the place to secretly make dealings

So when he got there, he had expected to find some such people lurking around

Instead he found MC on the ground in the center, bruised and bleeding with their arm bent in a very concerning way.

He rushed up to them, calling their name and checking them for signs of life.

Honestly, the man was having major flashbacks to the day he lost his sister.

This was exactly where Lilith fell and Lucifer had to watch his sister, all broken and in pain until Diavolo came and he had to make the deal that changed everything

The deal that eventually led to MC's existence

Yet here they were now, in exactly the same place and state and the demon couldn't help but break down for a minute with panic he tried so hard to conceal.

The human let out a groan and the man could only sigh in relief.

"MC, oh thank the Devil..."

"Luce...?"

"You'll be alright." He promised. "I'll take you over to have Simeon heal you."

Despite the internal panic and flashbacks of such a traumatic event, he still handled the situation well.

Once MC was all healed up, he asked them what happened.

Apparently, they found a note that someone had stuffed in their school bag, asking for them to meet at the Colosseum.

They thought it was weird, but curiosity had gotten the better of them so they went and were attacked while exploring the ancient building.

The demon had meant to kill her, but sensed Lucifer approaching so they dropped the human and ran for it.

Ends up getting as much info from them about the attacker as he can.

Even if MC doesn't want the demon to die for what they did, they get no say in the matter.

Because of their status as exchange student, this attack is a political issue and the consequences Lord Diavolo warned his people about originally must be put into play.

Politics aside though, Lucifer would never let any being who hurt MC get away with it.

Becomes a lot stricter with what they can and cannot do

Like, they're not even allowed to go for a walk around the block without either him or his brothers accompanying them.

Even changes up their class schedule to make sure they have at least one of his brothers with them per class and they even have to walk MC to their next one.

Any arguments about this from MC or the brothers fall on deaf ears.

He will never let anyone lay a hand on them again.

Mammon:

School day had ended and he was on his way to pick MC up from their class.

Since Lucifer decided the day they came that he was responsible for their safety, he always had to do stuff like this.

He was late today though since his teacher held him back after class.

Blah blah F on the test, blahh blah summer school, blaah blahh blaaaah. Whatever man; he wasn't listening

And because of them, he was late. So much so that when he arrived at the human's classroom, they weren't there.

Lowkey panicked.

Shit. Shit shit shit, where'd they go???

Practically runs in the halls trying to find them

Knows Lucifer will have his head for this if he can't track 'em down.

Ends up hearing some kind of ruckus in the courtyard

And finds a big group of students forming a circle and chanting "Fight!"

"Oh yell!" Is momentarily distracted from his problem and joins the group. "Fight! Fight! Fight--."

Oh shit. That's his human in the circle!

Mammon's brain just started buffering as he watched MC dodge and weave, even getting some good hits in. The second brother was actually pretty impressed.

The lower demon in the fight eventually lost his footing and fell to the ground, giving an opening for MC to give a big kick between his legs and the demon let out a shrill scream. His green skin started smoking and changed to grey as it hardened and suddenly seemed more like stone than a person.

The circle of students started cheering and Mammon's jaw practically hit the floor.

Holy shit, the human did it!

MC fell the ground, panting heavily and bruised from head to toe.

Mammon finally rushed up to them.

"Damn, MC! You're gonna give me a heart attack!"

All of a sudden, some students started running and others just quickly jumped back, revealing Lucifer and Diavolo.

....yep, he's dead.

The two older demons started asking MC questions as they caught their breath and Mammon tried to sneak away.

Lucifer grabbed his brother by his jacket, but otherwise paid him no mind as MC told their tale.

Apparently this demon that sits behind them in their Devildom History class had been giving them crap for a while; calling them names and pushing them around. Today they even started touching them in places that made them wanna break the demon's hand.

MC snapped and told them such. The demon only grinned. Honestly, he was probably waiting for them to say that.

From there, he dragged them out by their hair and the rest is rather obvious.

Diavolo had some of his men carry the demon away. Apparently, the stone-like skin is defense mechanism, essentially the equivalent of a turtle hiding in their shells for that sub-race of demon.

The prince assured MC that the demon will be dealt with and tasked Lucifer with getting them healed up.

Mammon was hung upside down from the roof for a few hours for letting this happen, but MC was patched up and okay in the end.

Leviathan:

He usually buys all of his otaku stuff off of Akuzon

But occasionally, he likes to go out and by manga at this store downtown.

It's a once in a blue moon sort of thing, but he still does it

MC felt like taking a walk so they joined him

The two explored the shop as Levi fanboyed about seemingly every other series he passed.

The otaku had already started a pile of manga he planned to buy.

He didn't even notice when MC left his side until he approached the counter to pay

Boy just assumes you bailed on him at first and sinks into self-loathing mode

Until he heard a scream from outside.

He abandoned his manga and raced out, just in time to see another demon run for it and MC leaning against the building.

Their right arm was bleeding from the holes and claw marks made into it.

The third brother started freaking out and rushed them home, even leaving his books there.

When they get back, Lucifer patches them up with a first aid kit and a little bit of a potion.

MC explains how they were shopping with Levi when all of a sudden they saw Beel outside the store waving at them

She went out to talk to him, but then suddenly, it wasn't Beel anymore.

Apparently, it was a shapeshifting demon and, since they specifically choose Beel's form to take, Lucifer assumed that they must have been watching them for a while and planning this attack. They likely chose Beel because they knew he was someone MC would let their guard around.

Levi felt like crap for letting them get hurt, but MC said it was their fault for being tricked.

Lucifer decided it was both their faults and gave them both a long lecture

Satan:

The fourth brother invited MC out for coffee

The blonde actually really likes the atmosphere of coffee shops and wanted to share it with them

The two ordered their coffee and sat at their table while talking about books. He recently read a book on artic fauna from the human world and was comparing the information he read with their own knowledge

It was a very relaxing experience like most of MC's quality with Satan.

Before the two of left, MC had to stop in the restroom.

That demon waited patiently for the human at their table, but when almost ten minutes went by, he became a bit annoyed and puzzled.

Not wanting to be rude, but also ready to leave, Satan approached the bathroom door

He paused mid knock when her heard a low growl followed by a cry from MC

Now in his demon form, the blonde kicked the door off its hinges. It wasn't locked or anything, but the man was super pissed.

Found a demon pressing MC, who had a gash in their head, against the opposite wall

'An eye for an eye' is more or less the philosophy he followed here, or rather, a head for a head.

He took the demon and slammed his head into another wall over and over again.

MC had to run up and tell him to stop after the other demon passed out.

They left the demon on the floor of the bathroom and Satan, with his arms around MC to keep them close, headed back to House of Lamentation

The human didn't want the other brothers to see them like this and worry so Satan snuck them into his room and went to get the first aid kit.

It was quiet between the two as he patched them up.

"I'm sorry for scaring you." He said as he finished with their stitches. "Seeing you hurt like that just made my blood boil. They deserved it, but you shouldn't have had to watch."

"It's okay... thank you for saving me."

The two spent the rest of the night huddled together in his room, reading and just settling down from the incident.

Asmodeus:

Shopping trip!

Asmo was a bit too enthusiastic about it, but that's part of why MC was all too willing to go

He mainly just wanted to see MC in cute outfits, but also bought a few for himself

Any self-consciousness MC might feel on her own is long gone when they spend time with him. He's always hyping them up and complimenting them and overall making them feel beautiful.

Time spent with Asmo is always a good time and well spent.

The fifth brother does actually leave their side for a bit after they found someone hot to flirt with

MC didn't mind and just let the Avatar of Lust do his thing as they continued to look through the racks.

At some point a very good looking demon approached them and started flirting with them

It became obvious that this dude was one of Asmo's demons, another demon of lust

Even with this in mind though, their attention really did make the human feel special, even if they probably said such sweet words to everyone

MC underestimated the demon, thinking that just because Asmo wasn't the aggressive sort that the demons under him wouldn't be either

Ends up following him out of the store and makes out with him against the wall of the building

They didn't understand why they were doing this, but the human's mind had been feeling foggy for a while now.

Suddenly, MC's whole body started to feel heavy and they were so dizzy that their vision was just a blur

Ends up passing out and waking up a few minutes later to Asmo crying as he stood over them and begging them to wake up

"Azzy?"

The man threw his arms around them.

Finds out that the fifth brother went looking for them when he saw that they weren't in the store anymore. He came outside just in time to see one of his underlings try to suck their soul out of their body.

As soon as they heard their superior's voice though, they dropped the human and ran.

The two went straight home and Asmo was extra clingy with them for the rest of the day.

Beelzebub:

The two of them went together to Madam Screams since they were both craving sweets.

Beel was really hungering for a cherry pit pie (though of course he planned on order other things as well) while MC was really hankering for some chocodevil cake.

The two happily got in line to pick out their treats, but MC stepped out to get a clearer view of the case with all of the treats to see if they wanted anything different instead.

Ends up getting attacked by a famished, minor demon of gluttony and slammed down on the glass case containing the sweets.

Beel jumped into gear; he changed into his demon form and threw the other demon off of them.

During the skirmish, the two ended up breaking down a wall and crushing three tables.

When the fight ended, the big guy rushed up to MC to make sure they're okay.

The human was bleeding and had a lot of glass shards embedded in their back and arms.

Though worried, the sweet boy keeps himself together and carefully takes out the bigger shards.

Rushes them home, treats forgotten.

Once home, Lucifer is the one who gets the rest of the glass out of their back and cleans up their wounds.

Beel stays by their side and lets them squeeze their hand when Luce's clean up hurts too much.

Luce gives his younger brother a lecture for all the stuff he had broken back at Madam Screams, but is surprisingly lenient with him.

The older brother didn't say it (and honestly, he should have), but he was proud of his brother for stepping up and protecting MC, but at the same time, expected nothing less from him.

Yeah, Lucifer will likely get sent the bill, but MC's safety is more important.

Belphegor:

Belphie had fallen asleep during class; no surprise there.

The rest of the students left the room when class ended, but the seventh brother continued to sleep at his desk.

MC found his sleeping face cute and didn't want to wake the demon

So instead, they hung around the classroom, waiting for the Avatar of Sloth to awake; the school day was over and the classroom wasn't going to be used for anything else so they thought there'd be no harm in hanging around.

Sadly, they were wrong.

Another student, a jerk from their Seductive Speechcraft class had waited for them to leave the classroom in order to harass them, but when they didn't come out, he came in.

Eventually had them backed up against the wall and forcing their hand up their shirt, causing the human to yelp.

He tried covering their mouth with his other hand, but MC bit them, angering the demon and leading them to putting their hands around their throat as he yelled at them.

The entire time, the minor demon never saw the Avatar of Sloth sleeping at his desk.

Big mistake.

Belphie woke up and saw the scene before him, turning into his demon form real quick.

Didn't hesitate to grab a hold of the bastard and make him let go of MC, who was now gasping for much needed air.

The seventh brother used his miasma aura to weaken the demon as he was now the one doing the choking with the lower demon.

MC covered their face and cried in their corner on the floor.

It was too similar to That Night™️ and the human was bordering on panic attack because of it.

Once the minor demon passed out, Belphie turned and saw MC crying on the floor.

He rushed up to them, but stopped once MC started screaming and begging for him to stay back.

That look in their eyes... it was the same fearful look he remembered from That Night™️

And it killed Belphie inside because he never wanted them to be scared of him ever again.

He waited for the human to calm down and, with their permission, slowly approached them.

He wanted to hug them, but was afraid that they'd just be reminded of it even more so he held back.

Surprising him, the human hugged him instead.

He held them tight for as long as they needed and started to notice the bruises forming on their neck

The two went home after that and reported the incident to Lucifer before Belphie dragged MC with him for a nap.

He chose Beel and his' room since he knew the attic would probably be too much for them right now.

Cuddled close to them and apologized for all of it. For falling asleep and leaving them defenseless. For the other demon's attack. For scarying them. Above all, that he was sorry for That Night™️

~

Masterlist

#obey me #obey me otome #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #obey me mc

[samwisethewitch]

Coping with religious trauma

CONTENT WARNING: THIS POST CONTAINS DISCUSSIONS OF MENTAL ILLNESS, TRAUMA RECOVERY, AND HOMOPHOBIA. The advice in this post is intended for an adult audience, not for those who are legal minors.

A lot of people find their way to paganism after having traumatic experiences with organized religion, especially in countries like the United States, where 65% of the population identifies as Christian. (This number is actually at an all-time low — historically, the percentage has been much higher.) Paganism, which is necessarily less dogmatic and hierarchical than the Abrahamic religions, offers a chance to experience religion without having to fit a certain mold. This can be extremely liberating for people who have felt hurt, abused, or ignored by mainstream religion.

To avoid making generalizations that might offend people, I’ll share my own story as an example.

My family joined the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, better known as the Mormons, when I was nine years old. The Mormons are an extremely conservative sect of evangelical Christianity that places a heavy emphasis on maintaining a strong community that upholds their religious values. The problem with that is that Mormon values are inherently racist, sexist, homophobic, and transphobic. As a teenager in the Mormon Church, I was told that as a woman, my only purpose in life was to marry a (Mormon) man and raise (Mormon) children. I was discouraged from pursuing a college education if it meant delaying marriage. I was not allowed to participate in the full extent of religious ritual because I was not a man. I was not allowed to express myself in ways that went against Mormon culture, and I kept my bisexuality secret for fear I would be ostracized. I didn’t have any sort of support system outside the Church, which inevitably made the mental health issues that come with being a queer woman in a conservative Christian setting much, much worse.

I left the Mormons when I was seventeen, and by that time I had some major issues stemming from my time in the Church. I had been extremely depressed and anxious for most of my teen years. I struggled with internalized misogyny and homophobia. I had very low self-esteem. I had anxiety around sex and sexuality that would take years of therapy and self-work to overcome. I wanted to form a connection with the divine, but I wasn’t sure if I was worthy of such a connection.

I was attracted to paganism, specifically Wicca, because it seemed like everything Mormonism wasn’t. Wicca teaches equality between men and women, with a heavy focus on the Goddess in worship. It places an emphasis on doing what is right for you, as long as it doesn’t harm anyone else. It encourages sexuality and healthy sexual expression. Learning about Wicca, and later other types of paganism, helped me develop the kind of healthy spirituality I’d never experienced as a Mormon. Although Wicca is no longer the backbone of my religious practice, it was a necessary and deeply healing step on my spiritual journey.

I’m not sharing my story to gain sympathy or to make anyone feel bad — I’m sharing it because my situation is not an uncommon one in pagan circles. The vast majority of pagans are converts, meaning they didn’t grow up pagan. Some had healthy upbringings in other faiths, or no faith at all, and simply found that paganism was a better fit for them. Others, like myself, had deeply traumatic experiences with organized religion and are attracted to paganism because of the freedom, autonomy, and empowerment it offers.

If you fall into this latter category, this post is for you. Untangling the threads of religious trauma can be an extremely difficult and overwhelming task. In this post, I lay out six steps to recovery based on my own experiences and those of other people, both pagan and non-pagan, who have lived through religious trauma.

While following these steps will help jumpstart your spiritual healing, it’s important to remember that healing is not a linear process — especially healing from emotional, mental, and spiritual trauma. You may have relapses, you may feel like you’re moving in circles, and you may still have bad days in five or ten years. That’s okay. That’s part of the healing process. Go easy on yourself, and let your journey unfold naturally.

Step One: Cut all ties with the group that caused your trauma

Or, at least, cut as many ties as reasonably possible.

Obviously, if you’re still participating in a religious organization that has caused you pain, the first step is to leave! But before you do, make sure you have an exit plan to help you disengage safely and gracefully.

To make your exit plan, start by asking yourself what the best, worst, and most likely case scenarios are, and be honest in your answers. Obviously, the best case scenario is that you leave, everyone accepts it, and all is well. The worst case scenario is that someone tries to prevent you from leaving — you may be harassed by missionaries or concerned churchgoers, for example. But what is the most likely case scenario? That depends on the religious community, their beliefs, and how involved you were in the first place. When making your exit plan, prepare for the most likely scenario, but have a backup plan in case the worst case scenario happens.

Once you’ve prepared yourself for the best, worst, and most likely outcomes, choose a friend, significant other, or family member who can help you make your exit. Ideally, this person is not a member of the group you are trying to leave. Their role is mainly to provide emotional support, although they may also need to be willing to run off any well-meaning missionaries who come calling. This person can also help you transition after you leave. For example, you might make a plan to get coffee with them every week during the time your old religious community holds worship services.

Finally, make your strategy for leaving. Choose a date and don’t put it off! If you have any responsibilities within the group, send in a letter of resignation. Figure out who you’ll need to have conversations with about your leaving — this will likely include any family members or close friends who are still part of the group. Schedule those conversations. Make sure to have them in public places, where people will be less likely to make a scene.

If you feel it is necessary, you may want to request that your name be removed from the group’s membership records so you don’t get emails, phone calls, or friendly visits from them in the future. You may not feel the need to do this, but if contact with the group triggers a mental health crisis, this extra step will help keep you safe.

Of course, it’s not always possible to completely cut ties with a group after leaving. You may have family members, a significant other, or close friends who are still members. If this is the case, you’ll need to establish some clear boundaries. Politely but firmly tell them that, although you’re glad their faith adds value to their lives, you are not willing to be involved in their religious activities. Let them know that this is what is best for your mental and emotional health and that you still value your relationship with them.

Try to make compromises that allow you to preserve the relationship without exposing you to a traumatic religious environment. For example, if your family is Christian and always spends all day on Christmas at church, offer to celebrate with them the day after, once their religious commitments are over.

Hopefully, your loved ones can respect these boundaries. If not, you may need to distance yourself or walk away altogether. If they are knowingly undermining your attempts to take care of yourself, they don’t deserve to be in your life.

During this time, you may find it helpful to read other people’s exit stories online or in books. One of my personal favorites is the book Girl at the End of the World by Elizabeth Esther. Hearing other people’s stories can help you remember that other people have been through similar situations and made it out on the other side. You will too.

Step Two: Seek professional help

I cannot overstate the importance of professional counseling when dealing with trauma of any kind, including religious trauma. Therapists and counselors have the benefit of professional training. They are able to be objective, since they’re approaching the situation from the outside. They can keep you from getting bogged down in your own thoughts and feelings.

I understand that not everyone has access to therapy. I am very lucky to have insurance that covers mental health counseling, but I know not everyone has that privilege. However, there are some options that make therapy more affordable.

There may be an organization in your area that offers free or low-cost therapy — if you live in the U.S., you can find information about these services by checking the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) HelpLine or visiting mentalhealth.gov. You can also look for therapists who use a sliding scale for payment, which means they determine an hourly rate based on the client’s income. And finally, if you have a little bit of extra cash you may want to look into therapy apps like BetterHelp or Talkspace, which are typically cheaper than in-person therapy.

If none of those options work for you, the next best option is to join a support group. Support groups allow you to connect with other people whose experiences are similar to yours and, unlike therapy, they allow you to get advice and feedback from multiple people. These groups are often free, although some charge a small fee.

Finding the right group for you is important. You’re unlikely to find a group for people recovering from religious trauma but, depending on the nature of your trauma, you may fit right in with a grief and loss group, an addiction recovery group, or a group for adult survivors of child abuse. If you’re a member of the LGBTQ+ community, you may be able to find a queer support group. (The LGBTQ+ club at my college was an invaluable resource in my recovery!) Depending on your area, you may also be able to find groups for specific mental and emotional issues like depression or anxiety.

Make sure to do your research before attending a meeting. Find out what, if anything, the group charges, who can join, and whether they use a curriculum or have unstructured sessions. See if you can find a statement about their values and philosophy. Make a note of where meetings are held and of who is running the group. Some support groups meet in churches and may or may not have a religious element to their curriculum. It’s best to avoid religious groups — the last thing you need right now is to be preached to.

Getting other people involved in your recovery will make you feel less alone and prevent you from getting stuck in your own head. A good therapist, counselor, or support group can help you realize what you need to work on and give you ideas for how to approach it.

Step Three: Deprogramming

“Deprogramming” refers to the practice of undoing brainwashing and reintroducing healthy thought patterns. This term is normally used in the context of cult survivors and their recovery, but deprogramming techniques can also be helpful for people recovering from a lifetime of toxic religious rhetoric.

To begin the process of deprogramming, familiarize yourself with the way organizations use thought control to shape the behavior of their members. I recommend starting with the work of Steven Hassan — his BITE model is a handy way to classify types of thought control.

The BITE model lays out four types of control. There’s Behavior Control, which controls what members do and how they spend their free time. (For example, requiring members to attend multiple hours-long meetings each week.) There’s Information Control, which restricts members’ access to information. (For example, denying certain aspects of the group’s history.) There’s Thought Control, which shapes the way members think. (For example, classifying certain thoughts as sinful or dirty.) And finally there’s Emotional Control, which manipulates members’ emotions. (For example, instilling fear of damnation or punishment.)

Here’s a simple exercise to get you started with your deprogramming. Divide a blank sheet of paper into four equal sections. Label one section “Behavior,” one “Information,” one “Thought,” and one “Emotions.” Now, in each section, make a list of the ways your old religious group controlled — and maybe still controls — that area of your life. Once you’ve completed your lists, choose a single item from one of your lists to work on undoing.

For example, let’s say that in your “Information” column, you’ve written that you were discouraged from reading certain books because they contained “evil” ideas. (For a lot of people, this was Harry Potter. For me, it was The Golden Compass.) Pick up one of those books, and read it or listen to it as an audiobook. Once you’ve read it, write down your thoughts. Did you enjoy it? Why or why not? Why do you think your group banned it? What was in this book that they didn’t want you to know about? Write it down.

Once you’ve worked on the first thing, choose something else. Keep going until you’ve undone all the items on your lists.

If you want to go further with deprogramming, I recommend the book Recovering Agency by Luna Lindsey. Although this book is specifically written for former Mormons, I genuinely believe it would be helpful to former members of other controlling religious groups as well. Lindsey does an excellent job of explaining how thought control works and of connecting it to real world examples, as well as deconstructing those ideas. Her book has been a huge help in my recovery process, and I highly recommend it.

Step Four: Replace toxic beliefs and practices with healthy ones

This goes hand-in-hand with step three, and if you’re already working on deprogramming then you’ll already have started replacing your unhealthy beliefs. This is the turning point in the recovery process. You’re no longer just undoing what others have done to you — now you get an opportunity to decide what you want to believe and do going forward. This is the time to let go of things like denial of your desires, fear of divine punishment, and holding yourself to unattainable standards. Get used to living in a way that makes you happy, without guilt.

Notice how each step builds on the previous steps. Therapy and deprogramming can help you identify what beliefs and behaviors need to be adjusted or replaced. Your therapist, support group, and/or emotional support person can help you make these changes and follow through on them.

These new beliefs and practices don’t have to be religious — in fact, it’s better if they aren’t. If you can live a healthy, happy, balanced life without religion, you’ll be in a better position to choose a religion that is the right fit for you, if that is something you want.

Your new healthy, non-religious practices may include: mindfulness meditation, nature walks, journaling, reading, exercise, energy work, learning a hobby or craft, or spending time with loves ones — or it might include none of these things, and that’s okay too. Now is the time to find what brings you joy and start doing it every day.

Step Five: Ritual healing

This is an optional step, but it’s one that has been deeply healing for me. You may find it helpful to design and perform a ritual to mark your recovery.

Note that when I say “ritual,” I don’t necessarily mean magic. Rituals serve a psychological purpose as well as a spiritual one. They can act as powerful symbolic events that mark a turning point in our lives or reinforce what we already know and believe. Even if you don’t believe in magic, even if you’re the least spiritual person you know, you can still benefit from ritual.

You might choose to perform a ritual to finalize your healing, or to symbolically throw off the chains of your old religion. It can be elaborate or simple, long or short, joyful or solemn. It might include lighting a candle and saying a few words. It might include ecstatic dance. It might include drawing or painting a representation of all the negative emotions associated with your old religion, then ritually destroying it. The possibilities are literally endless. (If you’re looking for ritual ideas, I recommend the book Light Magic for Dark Times by Lisa Marie Basile.)

One type of ritual that some people find very empowering is unbaptism. An unbaptism is exactly what it sounds like — the opposite of a baptism. The idea is that, if a baptism makes a Christian, an unbaptism makes someone un-Christian, no longer part of that lineage. It is a ritual rejection of Christianity. (Obviously, this only applies if you’re a former Christian, though some of the following suggestions could be adjusted to fit a rejection of other religions.)

If you’re interested in unbaptism, here are some ideas for how it could be done:

A classic method of unbaptism is to recite the Lord’s Prayer backwards under a full moon. (For a non-Christians version, use a significant prayer from whatever religion you have left.)

Run a bath. Add a tiny pinch of sulfur (a.k.a. brimstone) to the water. Get into the bath and say, “By water I was baptized, and by water my baptism is rejected.” Submerge your entire body under the water for several seconds. When you come back up, your unbaptism is complete. (You may want to shower after this one. Sulfur does not smell good.)

The Detroit Satanic Temple has a delightfully dramatic unbaptism ritual. For a DIY version, you will need holy water or some other relic from the faith you were baptized in, a fireproof dish, a black candle, and an apple or other sweet fruit. Light the candle and place it in your fireproof dish. Toss some holy water onto the flame (not enough to extinguish it) and say, “I cast my chains into the dust of hell.” Take a bite of the apple and say, “I savor the fruit of knowledge and disobedience.” Finally, declare proudly, “I am unbaptized.” You can add “in the name of Satan” at the end or leave it out, depending on your comfort level.

Personally, I’ve never felt the need to unbaptize myself. I’ve ritually rejected my Mormon upbringing in other ways. Maybe someday I’ll decide to go for the unbaptism, but I’ve never really felt like I needed it. Likewise, you’ll need to decide for yourself what ritual(s) will work for you.

Step Six: Honor your recovery

Our first reaction to trauma is to hide it away and never speak of it again. When we do this, we do ourselves a disservice. Your recovery is a part of your life story. You had the strength to walk away from a situation that was hurting you, and that deserves to be celebrated! Be proud of yourself for how far you’ve come!

You may choose to honor your recovery by celebrating an important date every year, like the day you decided to leave the group, the date of the last meeting you attended, or the date you were removed from the membership records. Keep this celebration fun and light — get drinks with friends, bake a cake for yourself, or just take a few moments to silently acknowledge your journey.

If you feel like having a party is a bit much, you can also honor your recovery by talking to other people about your experiences. Share your story with others. If you’re feeling shy, try sharing your story anonymously online. (Reddit has several forums specifically for anonymous stories.) You’ll be amazed by how validating it can be to tell people what you’ve been through. `

Another way to honor your recovery is to work for personal and religious freedom for all people. Protest laws with religious motivations. Donate to organizations that campaign for the separation of church and state. Educate people about how to recognize an unhealthy religious organization. Let your own story motivate you to help others who are in similar situations.

And most of all, take joy in your journey. Be proud of yourself for how far you’ve come, but know that your recovery is a lifelong journey. Be gentle and understanding with yourself. You are doing what is right for you, and no god or spirit worthy of worship could ever be upset by that.

#this is long but i wanted it to be as helpful as possible #so there #paganism 101 #pagan #paganism #pagan witch #wicca #wiccan #feri #reclaiming #goddess worship #celtic paganism #irish paganism #hellenismos #hellenic polytheism #hellenic paganism #religio romana #roman polytheism #heathenry #heathen #norse paganism #kemetic polytheism #kemetic paganism #eclectic pagan #baby witch #baby pagan #witchblr #exmo #exmormon #apostake

[maggiec70]

Fun in the Country

My version of Joachim and his BFF, Jean-Boy, at the spa in Bareges and then adjourning to one of J-B's little country properties for more typical Gascon amusements. As always, these shenanigans are seen through the viewpoint of the former Milanese contessa/current aide-de-camp. She disapproves.

Joachim Murat sent Jean a note a few days later. I’m leaving Madrid tomorrow. We should meet at Barèges. It’s a decent spa and not far from you.”

“Why would you want to visit with Prince Murat?” Mariana asked when Jean showed her the note. “You’re always scrapping about something.”

“Not always. Besides, Joachim is entertaining, even when he doesn’t mean to be.”

Mariana resigned herself to a two-day ride to the Pyrenean spa and then days of constant Gascon bragging from two masters of the genre. As rowdy as it promised to be, she hoped the change of scenery would sweep away the last of her anger. Jean had done what she insisted. He’d waved the required documents conferring the majority of his country properties to Jean-Claude under the nose of an elderly black-clad lawyer who creaked each time he moved.

“Give me an official copy,” she’d ordered the lawyer, her peremptory tone causing his furry white eyebrows to rise as his brass-rimmed spectacles slid down his nose. He should have been used to her by then, after her questions directed at him like an artillery assault had determined—finally—that he had the requisite legal acumen and ethics for the task.

“Why did you want a copy?” Jean had asked her when the lawyer scurried away, portfolio clutched tightly beneath one arm. “Don’t you trust me?”

“That’s not the problem. You won’t be here when those documents become an issue. I don’t trust anyone but myself to handle this matter properly.” And if she weren’t around, she would entrust it to one of the phalanx of attorneys who managed her affairs. After all this time with her, they were eminently trustworthy and as ruthless as the Sforzas.

Now, comfortably settled in Barèges, almost everyone drank gallons of rough red wine and told amazingly obscene stories that made Mariana cringe in embarrassment. Neither Jean nor Murat went anywhere near the spa until two days later, complaining of headaches, and by then, she hoped they would both drown. She left whenever she could to explore the neat, tiny village tucked away in a hollow of the hulking, snow-covered Pyrenees, wondering if the change of scene was worth much. She was still angry, but not for the same reasons.

“I don’t know Jean anymore. What’s come over him?” she asked Joseph one evening during a long and raucous meal.

“Given the right circumstances, men revert to a certain type. Be patient—it’ll pass.”

“I can’t imagine you behaving in such a fashion.”

“I have, but you’ve never seen it. You’ll feel better if you ignore it all.”

She couldn’t ignore anything and cringed when Jean suggested they abandon the spa for one of his country properties. “Plenty of room, much more than here. Nobody to disturb us unless we invite them,” he explained, definitely listing to one side.

Murat agreed at once. “Excellent idea, as long as there’s plenty to drink. If you know some lovely ladies to make the time pass pleasantly, be sure to invite them.”

“I’ve got enough Armagnac to put you on your imperial backside every night. As for ladies, I’ll send for as many as you like,” Jean promised in a haze of Bordeaux-inspired grandiloquence. Although the rest of their aides grinned at the prospect, Mariana was livid.

That night she sat rigidly upright in bed, every nerve quivering with anger, while Jean undressed. He wobbled as he tried to get his boots off, and she snickered at him. She hoped he would fall on his face and lie on the rough-planked floor until morning.

“What’s the matter with you?” He tossed the boots aside and fumbled with the buttons on his coat.

“How can you take Prince Murat to that refurbished abbey you bought? How can you promise to amuse him for however long he wishes and send spurious billets-doux to all the women in the countryside? Besides,” she snorted, growing angrier as she spoke, “who’d write them? I expect you’ll ask me since you can’t string three coherent words together. You do know what this makes you?”

Jean did not bother to put on his nightshirt and crawled in bed naked, collapsing against the pillows, one arm flung across his face. “I’m sure you’ll explain. My head’s splitting, so don’t take too long.”

“You’ll be an imperial procurer, in the basest sense of the phrase.”

“Humph!”

“While the prince amuses himself with whichever ladies are besotted enough to accept your invitations, you doubtless expect me to entertain you.”

“You do it anyway.”

Mariana knew neither her anger nor her disapproval would matter in the morning. Leaning over, she blew out the candles. Jean was instantly asleep, snoring gently.

“Merde alors!” She threw a pillow at him, but he never moved.

The following day, not very early, they exchanged pleasant Barèges for the rather outré former abbey of Bouillas near Lectoure. “Surely the monks had better taste than this,” Mariana said after she’d struggled with an ancient, stout wooden door and opened it onto a riotous jumble of gothic, rococo, and Louis Quinze furnishings in the refectory. “If the bedchambers are like this, I won’t be able to sleep.”

“Yes, you will,” Jean replied and led her upstairs.

“It looks like a cheap bordello,” Mariana hissed at him after half a dozen young ladies arrived, as promised, the next evening, “and now it smells like one. I hope the ghosts of the poor, dispersed monks haunt you.”

He grinned at her over the nearly bare shoulder of a blonde in a primrose satin gown determined to charm him, one way or another. Stifling an impulse to slap them both, Mariana stalked out of the refectory and up the stairs.

She sat on the bed in their chamber, full of the most opulently overdone furnishings imaginable. There was scarcely enough room to walk from the door to the bed to the clothes-press to the recessed windows with their thick, wavy glass without bumping into a piece of furniture or a low stool or tripping on the layers of Turkey carpets covering the dark wooden floor. She ignored the assaults on her senses, balled her hands into fists, and swore that this nonsense would end in the next hour or she’d pack up and leave. The muscles in her neck and shoulders tight from anger, she didn’t care what Murat or Joseph or Marcellin or anyone else did where she could see or hear them. But she refused to spend another moment watching overdressed, painted, and perfumed women fawn over Jean. “I’ll put them in their places,” she muttered, sliding off the bed, “and if it causes an uproar, as well as the end of my military career, so be it.”

Mariana yanked off her boots and tossed them in the corner. She stripped off sash, coat, waistcoat, and neckcloth, throwing them across a chair. With an impatient jerk, she removed her shirt and untied the bands across her breasts, shook her hair free of its heavy braid, and ran her fingers through it, coaxing it into its usual waves and curls. After rummaging through her trunk and Jean’s, she deliberately omitted her lace-trimmed drawers and pulled on a clean pair of tight doeskin breeches, silk stockings, and flat-heeled shoes. She took one of his shirts, the cotton batiste so soft it clung to her skin. She thought about dipping the shirt in cold water and then putting it on, as Thérèse Tallien had done with her muslin gowns during the wilder days of the Directory. Instead, she left the laces undone and tied her sash low on her hips, the heavy fringed ends swinging gracefully as she walked. She found her emerald and diamond earrings tied in the corner of a handkerchief and put them on, pleased with the way they sparkled and swayed, unconcerned with the incongruity of fine jewelry and her motley attire. Creeping down the hall and into a chamber occupied by one of the female guests, she splashed herself with perfume from a cut crystal bottle. “About what I expected,” she said, wrinkling her nose at the heavy scent of ambergris.

Mariana descended the stairs, hoping the worn treads wouldn’t creak. No one noticed her until she had sauntered halfway across the room and shoved the primrose-clad woman’s soft, bejeweled hand from Jean’s arm.

“This one belongs to me,” she said, ignoring the woman’s stunned expression and the sudden quiet in the room. Mariana perched on Jean’s knee, buried her hands in his hair, and kissed him until she ran out of breath.

“You’ve been a fool, keeping this beautiful creature hidden from the world,” Murat said. “Ma foi, I think you’ve outdone Masséna. Where’d you find her?”

“It’s a very long story,” Jean said. “I can’t tell you right now.”

Mariana enjoyed watching him squirm, although not from the prince’s comments. “What’s the matter, mon cher? Are your breeches too tight?” She nipped at his ear. “You probably shouldn’t stand up.”

“The hell I won’t!” Jean pushed her off his knee, stood abruptly, and grasped her wrist so tightly that she winced. He strode from the room, pulling her along to the sound of Murat’s approving whistle.

...and you can imagine the rest if you like. I remember laughing the entire time I spent writing the entire scene, pleased that I'd pretty well nailed it. Nothing like real historical people having sex, is there?

#joachim murat #Jean-Boy #country life #teenage boys

[freckledbodty]

Stripping Away The Bloat - The Umibe No Etranger Movie Did The Manga Dirty

I finally got around to watching the movie of Umibe no Etranger - a movie I didn’t know existed based on one of my old favourite BL mangas. And oh boy, does this adaptation reflect a painful trend in manga to anime/movie adaptations overall. Allow me a moment to rant, if you will...

TL;DR: READ THE MANGA BY THE LOVE OF GOD IT’S WONDERFUL. Also the movie is super pretty, but here’s a semi-detailed look at why it still really didn’t do the manga justice. You bet I came with receipts.

A few important notes before you start: 

1. Remember this is just my opinion, and I’d love to hear other people’s point of view on the matter, whether you agree or disagree! 

2. I am not fluent enough in Japanese to read the original without a translation, so my thoughts on the manga are coming from fan translations, which 100% might have affected how I view this! The anime I’m a little more sure on as I can generally tell when the subtitles have deviated, but that does mean I may have missed something/something was lost in translation that means something I say here is incorrect. I’m very sorry for this, so remember this is my view based on the media types I’ve consumed. 

3. Also the manga cuttings I use are not the best quality because of tumblr’s sizing, so even more of a reason to go read the books yourself! 

I’m aware I’m very late to this party, but when I saw the other day that this movie had been made, I was horrified that I hadn’t known about it sooner. I read the manga years ago, and adored it - it’s genuinely a sweet and beautifully drawn romance, and I’d highly recommend it to anyone. With that, however, the movie was a huge disappointment to me and I just need to have a moment to gush in a less than positive way. 

The Pros: 

Let’s get this out of the way, I’d still probably recommend this movie to anyone who likes romance anime-style movies. It’s beautifully animated. Seriously, this movie is stunning, with wonderful expressions, bright colours, and a pretty well suited soundtrack too. The animation tries to match the original art style of the manga, and frankly, I think it captures it perfectly. 10/10. Gorgeous. Watch it just for the prettiness. 

I’m also a big fan of any BL/GL adaptations that get a little more into the mainstream. This movie is definitely a huge win in terms of representation, especially when the manga (on the whole) avoided the more negative tropes that the BL/GL genres have historically been known for. (More on that later...) So that’s a win, and I will take it. 

The Bloat Cut: 

To put it simply, this movie fell into the trap of what I call (in my head) ‘cutting out the bloat’. As a long-time anime and manga fan, who has seen countless adaptations over the years, it’s a common theme that tends to make or break an anime. 

‘Cutting out the bloat’ to me means that the adaptors cut out a lot of the ‘smaller’ moments and panels that are seen in a manga. This movie was thankfully very good at following the original plot and took us through the same beats that the manga did (many adaptations don’t bother doing that at all), but they left out a lot of the extra stuff - the aforementioned ‘bloat’. 

The bloat isn’t really bloat in that it is pointless, however: the problem is that these little moments and scenes are seen to be pointless by the adaptors. Again, understandable: they have a limited run time, and it’s hard to include every little tiny moment, especially when they are ones that are easily scanned passed. Some bloat cutting is necessary to make an adaptation viable at all, but sometimes, it can be hugely detrimental to the piece. Umibe no Etranger is a key example of this. 

Setting: 

I watched this movie without rereading the manga, and as such, I was quickly thrown off by how bad the movie was. This was one of my favourite mangas, wasn’t it? Had I really had such terrible taste? (Yes, let’s not go there, but this manga was not one of my high-school bad decisions). 

The characters felt strange. Personalities did complete 180s after the time skip and did some questionable things that I couldn’t recall finding issue with when I read the manga. The two main characters felt so hot and cold that it didn’t feel like the story I remembered. Even the pacing felt off and janky at times. 

After watching, I went back and reread the manga, and this is where I saw all the ‘bloat’, the little intricate moments and minor panels that were easy to overlook but made the story what it was. Here’s a few of the biggest examples I could find. 

Shun:

Oh, Shun. What did they do to you? 

Shun’s character was bizarre. In the first 15 minutes of the movie, he was bubbly, friendly, and even bold enough to flirt with Mio. After the time skip, he was sour, cold, and completely withdrawn from the world. I understood Mio’s confusion because after the time jump he was a completely different character. 

The manga is often focused on Shun and his inner thoughts, and he’s the one who is hurt the most by the bloat cutting. For starters, he wasn’t as over-the-top friendly at the start of the manga as he was in the anime, and we’re able to see his inner thoughts and worries that cause his reservations from the first few pages we meet him. We also get more hints earlier on as to Shun’s past that explain a lot of his behaviour as a whole, as well as getting little hints as to why he’s even more negative and exhausted after the time jump. 

Mio: 

The biggest bloat cut out in terms of Mio is the big plot point of the phone call. For context, before leaving for the time skip, Mio promises to call Shun once he’s gotten to his new home. In the movie, this is never really brought up again, focusing on the relationship in the present, but this was a huge point to leave out. I think it was cut out because it was explained in one short scene in the manga, and therefore easily mistaken for bloat. 

In the manga, it’s explained that Mio does call, but it’s Eri who answers, and there’s a very important conversation that sets up Mio’s whole character development and explains why he returns to the island set on having a relationship with Shun. Eri warns him that calling Shun, despite knowing that Shun has feelings for him, is cruel and unfair, and tells Mio he shouldn’t contact him unless he’s worked out his feelings. It’s a great scene, and a real shame to leave out when it explains firstly why Mio never called back, and secondly why he is so adamant about his feelings and love for Shun when he does finally return: because he saw Eri’s warning to mean ‘don’t come back unless you are serious’.

Relationship:

In the movie, Mio and Shun didn’t really seem to have a relationship until the drama kicked up and then it quickly seem to disappear again. Shun was extremely held back and reserved, and barely ever seemed to return Mio’s feelings (even in the scenes he was instigating) - he even totally avoided anything resembling physical contact at first. 

Compare this to the manga, where there are little hints of their relationship progressing throughout the chapters. For one, Shun is never as cold and blank as he seems in the film, and when he does seem that way, the manga quickly shows a glimpse of his thoughts to explain how he’s exhausted or distracted - without those little bloated thought bubbles, he just seems... a little cruel frankly.

A really good example of this is the beach kiss scene. In the movie, as Mio is about to kiss him, Shun suddenly announces that he’s hungry and avoids the kiss altogether, leaving Mio confused. 

In the manga, they actually do kiss - it’s their first kiss, in fact. Shun seems embarrassed and his ‘I’m hungry’ feels like more of a way to distract them both. He explains he’s exhausted (which is fair enough, this is a big thing for him to process on little sleep that his inner thoughts earlier in the chapter already set up) rather than just outright shunning him. (Ha. Shun. shun. Get it?) 

A more *noted* bloat they cut out is that Shun and Mio get physical in the manga way earlier than the movie, the touches just not quite being everything Mio wanted. Without those more tender moments, where they actually seem like a couple, it seems like Mio is chasing after Shun desperately, whilst Shun couldn’t care less about him. It detracts from the whole relationship. Below are some examples of the two of them actually seeming like a couple that were cut from the movie, including longing looks from Shun, Shun hugging Mio whilst he’s asleep, and Shun asking to kiss and touch Mio. 

The Issue: 

Bloat cutting always annoys me, but usually, if it’s not hindering the story, I don’t mind. What bothers me most of all in this movie, is that without these subtle little panels and moments, the relationship between Shun and Mio seems... forced, frankly. In the movie, Shun seems to be the instigator of the flirting, and then after the time skip he acts practically disgusted, avoiding a lot of Mio’s advances, and we don’t get to hear his inner thoughts like we do in the manga to explain why he’s feeling this way. 

In the manga, during these ‘bloat’ pieces, Shun is an actual willing participant in the relationship, and Mio isn’t just forcing his advances onto Shun. It’s natural. It’s not flipping between hot and cold, or suddenly ramping up after a big moment of drama, it’s slow and careful and a real relationship. 

This would be a bad change in any adaptation, but it’s especially so in this one. Anyone who is a fan of BL specifically is probably aware of the genre’s bad rep historically for having some... questionable consent issues. This manga didn’t have them. The movie? I’m not so sure, and that’s why it’s rubbed me the wrong way. I could spend another 1000 words talking about this issue as a whole, but I’ll leave it there, you get the idea.

Expected? Yes. Okay? Meh. 

There’s no real point to this post aside from to complain a little and point out just how much more the source material gives us. Cutting the bloat always happens, and I don’t want it to stop happening per say, that would be impossible, but I’d kill for adaptors to just take a little more time to work out what is unnecessary and cutable bloat, and what is something they should really keep in. 

The movie is still cute and beautifully made, so please go watch and see for yourself! Mostly, I’d highly recommend the manga: it’s got the same gorgeous art style, only about 5 chapters long, and the story and relationship is that little bit more firmly built. 

I’ll stop ranting now, and I hope this actually made sense? Anyway, congrats on making it all this way.

#umibe no etranger #bl manga #bl anime #yaoi manga #anime discussion #please note the important points #this does not mean its a bad movie by any means #just was a disappointment

[snifflesthemouse]

Harry’s Blaming the Wrong People for his Genetic Trauma... Chapter Two of Lady Colin Campbell’s book reveals a lot!

         The more I listen to Lady Colin Campbell’s YouTube Channel, the more I realize how little I truly paid attention to what she was really saying in her most recent book. Lady C is a woman of high caliber. She understands better than anyone that HOW something is said matters MORE than WHAT is said. She knows how to get information out there in a way that prevents any lawsuit happy turkeys from getting litigious. There is more than one way to say something. Finding the way that says it all without saying it all… well that is an artform.

         To be honest, I believe all the answers we really want to know are woven into that book. Here recently, especially since the video about Princess Anne and the conversation had with Harry, I have noticed little clues dropped. One could almost argue that Lady C has somewhat direct information being given to her from close sources. And it is worth noting, to date there have been zero legal actions taken by the Montecito Muppets. Because of this, I have started re-reading Meghan and Harry, The Real Story. It’s important to remember I am taking this go-round literally line-by-line. This post is specifically about chapter two in the book.

         Chapter two is the chapter in which Lady Colin Campbell provides us with Harry’s and his wife’s upbringings. She draws comparisons between both spare and spouse, as well as contrasting points. When she gets to Harry’s side, the light bulb started to get juice. You see, when you consider that Lady Colin Campbell was first chosen by Diana to write the biography Andrew Morton later got tapped to pen, Lady Colin Campbell was given a unique opportunity. She was able to see who the person was behind the media image of Diana, Princess of Wales.

        She could not put aside her dignity, her responsibility of the truth, to seal that deal. Andrew Morton had no qualms with twisting truths slightly to perpetuate the Diana Saga. When you factor in Lady Colin Campbell’s knowledge on the British Royal Family, especially regarding the Queen Mother, you realize that Lady C is telling us who’s really behind the Montecito Man-Child just called Harry. Which again brings me back to the light bulb moment.

         This whole time, Harry and his wife have been hurling accusations at his family. Harry especially pointed blame toward his father, grandmother, and late grandfather for causing his “genetic pain” and trauma. But if we look at what Lady Colin Campbell writes in chapter two of the book, we learn the reality of life growing up for William and Harry. Lady C writes in chapter two that Diana would encourage the boys to go against the grain, even if that meant bucking the protocols and measures put in place to protect the Crown’s survival.

         Lady C mentions that William and Harry both were wild children with little to no rules to follow from their mother. She writes that Diana was infamous for screaming matches, throwing matches, and the peace of the home rested solely on the status of Diana’s love life. She says Charles was approving of James Hewitt, knew of their affair, and was okay with him teaching the boys how to ride horses. Diana would rotate between James Hewitt, Hasnat Kahn, and eventually Dodi. When trouble was brewing for Diana and a lover, she brought that trouble to Charles.

          Furthermore, the Queen Mother was so concerned with instilling her own influences on the future of the Crown, she was a major influence in the issues between Prince Charles and his mother, Her Majesty the Queen. Lady Colin Campbell even writes in chapter two that the Queen Mother would tell Prince Charles it isn’t his place to stand up to the mother of his children, even when she was leading her boys down a wild-child path.

           History cannot ignore the facts. Lady Colin Campbell even highlights how Diana’s own grandmother was so disgusted with how Diana was behaving and undermining the monarchy, she died before Diana and she could make amends. Her grandmother was a Lady of the Bedchamber for the Queen Mother, and she died 4 years before Diana. Her own grandmother saw through her tricks, as the Queen Mother did.

         Again, what’s my long, drawn out point? Well, just in the first half of chapter two… we learn that Charles is a hot mess because of the Queen Mother’s meddling and Diana was the one in control of how the boys were raised. As a matter of fact, Diana was known to tell the boys “do whatever you want as long as you don’t get caught”.

         Of course, I still have the rest of chapter two to finish, but I found it especially interesting that Lady C quotes the Kensington Palace chef, Darren McGrady (1993-1997) as remembering Diana telling him frequently to keep an eye out for William. She would tell him that William would manage, but Harry was an airhead like her. The exact wording on page 47 of the book says “You take care of the heir; I’ll look after the spare” (Campbell, 2020). So what does all this mean? Why does it matter? And how is THIS a light bulb moment for me?

         Well, when you consider the fact Harry and his wife repeatedly bash his own family (more so from the former lately than the latter)… and you consider the factual recollections from everyone else… you realize Harry is blaming the wrong people for his problems. He says his father and grandparents are to blame for his own pain, that his father only treated him how he was treated by his own parents. But that goes against reality and truth. Because Charles was raised differently than his siblings; mainly because of the Queen Mother favoring him. Plus, William and Harry spent far more time residing with their mother than they did their father. By the age of twelve, a child’s personality is already well-seeded and developed. Essentially, who you were around puberty is who you are now, save for the maturity gained.

         What we have here is repeated historical recollections of both women, the Queen Mother and Diana, being at the source of it all. Charles failed to step in and prevent his boys from growing up wildly misbehaved because he took more advice from the Queen Mother than his own mother and father. We have Diana constantly instilling in Harry this sense of bucking tradition and being the rebellious one. Both women had a direct hand in creating who Harry is. Both women left him rather large chunks of change when they passed. Yet… neither are blamed when Harry goes on the record? You mean to tell me, the two women who essentially gave you all of your wealth… the two women who predominately raised you to a teen… had no impact on you life nor bare some of the weight of responsibility for your issues? Just your father? Hmm.

         Why does Harry only blame his father and his grandparents? Why doesn’t he ever utter one word about his mother that is honest instead of some fanatical warped version of a distant memory? He instead hoists all the blame from his own mother and great-grandmother onto the Royal Family. Why does he never mention how his mother would have screaming matches with his father, throwing things, or how she had multiple heated affairs of her own? How she struggled with her own relationships and would gaslight his father? We hear him slant his father for cheating on his mother, but never a word about his mother cheating on his father, too.

         My whole point is Harry is comfortable blaming the people still living who cannot respond to these accusations. He is not comfortable with the truth. Why? Well, let’s face it. A lot of the affection and love people have for Harry is transference. Most people “loved” him because they loved her. They loved Harry because she loved Harry. People felt like they were serving, honoring even, Diana’s legacy by sparing Harry a harsh glance. He’s the spare, “Diana’s second son” who’s not so bright. Hey let’s give the ol’ chap a break.

         He can’t let anything get in the way of his mother’s victimhood, martyrdom, sainthood status. It tarnishes his own brand. When the world starts remembering the facts or realizing Diana wasn’t so innocent, the world stops garnering sympathy for Harry. The world isn’t as easily manipulated when they don’t feel sorry for you, remember? So, Harry’s biggest chore to date is protecting that image of the lamb taken to slaughter that he paints his mother to be. Without that, his own brand crumbles.

         Sorry again for the rambling, but it’s important to truly think and consider just how vital a role both women had and still have in Harry’s life now. Two of the biggest reasons he could just leave the Royal way of life are the Queen Mother and Diana. They are also two of the biggest influences that made life as traumatic as it was. Yet, never a word mentioned about their own responsibility in Harry’s “generic pain”. Oops, meant genetic.