#and how will i shill my shot if no one finds me
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Say it Dirty - An Alfie Solomons/Reader One Shot Story.
For my babes @cillmequick and @zablife. Enjoy!
Words - 1,467
Warnings - Smut below the cut, minors DNI!
Alfie. One could never use the word tall to describe the gangster rum distiller of Camden town, but suffice to say, he is big. He takes up space. He has presence. Alfie is so wide in both physical width and the enormity of his personality, he fills whatever room he happens to be within.
Everything about Alfie is imposing. That is why you fell for him in the first place. What gets your blood tingling with desire the most, though...
“Next lad!”
Oh, that enormous voice. He doesn’t shout often, but when he does, it sends your knees to jelly.
“Next lad!”
He’s handing out the weekly wages, the precise count out of pounds, shillings and pence into a small paper envelope, handing them to each of his employees for their, ahem, “baking” endeavours. The smell of the rum within the large casks fills your nose as you walk past them down in the dingy distillery, moving past the line and entering Alfie’s office.
“Bear with me, sweetheart.” He doesn’t even need to look up from his desk to know you’ve arrived. He can smell the sweet notes of your perfume in a sea of rum and sweaty men a mile off. “Just gotta get these fellas paid, innit.”
You perch on the edge of his desk, his hand moving to stroke your thigh fleetingly. “Next lad!” God, you’ll melt off the edge of the desk if you’re not careful. “Is there a fuckin’ reason you’re gorping, boy?”
“Um, n-no, Mr. Solomons.”
Alfie lowers his spectacles, raising his eyebrows. “You seriously comin’ in here for your pay, and giving me missus the once over with your beady little eyes while you’re here, eh? Nah, son. Off you fuck, while you still have them legs to carry ya. Just know, though. If I ever see you lookin’ at her like that again, yeah, it’ll be the last fuckin’ time you have eyes, mate.”
The young man takes his wages with a stiff gulp. “S-s-sorry, Mr. Solomons.”
“Ain’t me you was lookin’ at like a slab of meat.” He folds his arms, jerking his head in your direction, a smile spreading beneath his beard. “Apology should be directed at me wife, really.”
“I apologise, Mrs. Solomons.” He’s steadier when talking to you, wringing his cap between his hands nervously all the same.
Alfie studies you, watching you nod. “Alright, fuck off outta here. Next lad!” He scurries from the office, your husband continuing to hand out each wage envelope and mark it off with a pencil strike in the ledger. With the last lad paid, he stands, moving before you.
“Now, how about I take my little turtle dove out for a bit of nosh, yeah?” Well, that’s the sole reason you came to meet him from work, after all. He goes for a quick wash and to change his shirt before you leave, yet when he returns, he finds you not quite as ready to leave as he is.
The double take at seeing you sitting atop his desk naked is priceless, eyes touring your bare curves with much interest. “My darlin’, I dunno what kind of fuckin’ restaurant you think we’re going to, right, but it ain’t the kind where the customers sit about naked.”
“Can’t help it,” you purr, pulling him close, hands smoothing over his fresh shirt. “See it’s when you raise your voice, Alfie, when you get defensive of me, too. It does things to me, that voice of yours.”
He looks quietly thrilled at that. You don’t quite know how one can raise an eyebrow with cocky intent, but Alfie nails it every time. “Yeah, that right, love? You like the sound of my voice? Why don’t you sit on my cock while I talk to you, then?”
Grasping his shirt, you pull him close. “That’s exactly what I had in mind, Alf.”
Your lips meet in a slow tempest, all heat and honey, his hands beginning to glide where his eyes have already roamed, touring your bare flesh keenly. When his mouth follows, you whimper, each kiss sinking into your skin, the soft of his beard coaxing tickles over your flesh. Hot hands adorned in cool gold knead at your thighs, fingers slipping between.
The sweet sting of him toying with your clit radiates, little pricks of pleasure trickling down your spine, puddling at those clever fingers, his teeth sharp at your neck. “Always did love my hands, didn’t ya, dove?”
You hum in appreciative response against his tongue, mouths locked, those fingers you do indeed love so much thrusting within. He opens you, pushing greedily, his raspy chuckle low and self-satisfied at each little mewl that pours from your mouth like wine, your cunt clenching around each rotation as he roots those thick digits, so inordinately deep.
“Fuck, get in the chair,” you pant, hands moving to slide his braces down, undoing his trousers. “I need to ride you. Now.”
He chuckles, his thumb rolling over your clit sending sparks to skitter wildly. “Ain’t half a demanding little mare tonight, aint’cha?”
“Yeah,” you breathe, Alfie letting his trousers and undergarments fall to pool at his ankles, sitting down in the chair and guiding you astride him. “But then I always did know what’s good for me.” Taking him, you squeeze the thick of his rigidity, pushing him to your glistening opening and dropping down until you’re full.
You can feel every inch of him pressing your soft walls, thick and heavy, his hand weaving into your hair and pulling until you arch for him, bending like a crescent moon. “Fuckin’ ‘ell, look at that body bow for me. Can’t wait to watch these pretty little tits bounce while you ride me, darlin’.”
His mouth devours you, nipples sucked and bitten, his free hand grasping your hip as you begin to roll against him, his girth sending sensations to flutter up your spine, fizzing like champagne bubbles, the hint of teeth upon the peak of your nipple sending glimmers to join them. “Ain’t even half started properly yet, and this sweet little cunt is like a fuckin’ lake. Yeah, look at you. So fucking pretty for me, ain’t ya? So pretty and sweet, split open on me.”
His words mist hot beneath your skin, rising like steam, the torrent of seductive filth unabating. “Think I could have you like this on me for hours, and I wouldn’t get tired of watching you gripping tight on my cock. And you would, wouldn’t ya? Yeah, you’d keep giving, my beautiful, cock hungry little doe.”
His thumb stretches, and it sends a rain of pleasure pelting through you when he brings it to your clit, circling, your bundle twitching against the stroke, your toes gripping on the floorboards beneath as you begin to ride him with more determination. “That’s it, sweet. Show me how much you love this cock.”
The moan seeps from your lips, sweet and slow, like thick syrup, the clasp of your cunt tight upon him, the sound of him punching into the very wet of you lewd, mixing with the slap of your arse smacking hard against his solid thighs. It’s a symphony of utter sin, his groans adding delicious baritone, your tits bouncing, his hands moving to clutch them as his tongue swipes your cleavage.
His touch has lightning forking from nerve to nerve, your ministrations greedy in desperate need to come around him, wet his cock further with the dew of your orgasm, your hands fisting tight in his hair, a shift of his hips sending him deeper into the flutter of your cunt.
You sob his name, and he pushes even deeper, so heavy and overwhelming within you. “Come on, my beautiful little darlin’. Come pretty for me on this cock.”
Oh, how you do, the pleasure burning neon through your nerves, a sky of colours painted over you as it topples you completely. The scream it pulls from you has him twitching, and he becomes caught in the tide of it, cock pressed filthily deep into the rhythmic clasping of you, spilling hard, everything tense undoing and softening to fluid bliss. You both swim in it, adrift on the endless ocean, panting against one another.
“Fuck, that worked up a right appetite,” he finally breaths, kissing your neck as you roll your eyes.
“Do you ever cease thinking about your stomach?”
He chuckles, low and dirty. “Yeah. I often think about how good me wifey feels when she fucks me like she just did. And you can count on it, treacle, that I’ll be thinkin’ about it for the rest of the night an’ all.”
The way he keeps stealing heated glances at you all the way through dinner, you’re left in little doubt of that, too.
#alfie solomons fanfiction#alfie solomons smut#alfie solomons x reader#alfie aolomons x you#peaky blinders fanfiction#peaky blinders fanfic#peaky blinders imagine#peaky blinders fic#alfie solomons fic#alfie solomons fanfic#alfie solomons imagine#tom hardy#tom hardy fanfiction#tom hardy smut
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i don’t know if im too late (time zones confuse me i’m so sorry) but if i’m not could i request 16 with jack russel? if i’m too late it’s totally fine i’m just really bad with time zones i can’t remember which one i’m in lol
A/N - You requested just in time! I would love to write this for you! Thanks for requesting this! It'll be nice and short, but it's cute :)
Light Show
Summary - Nighttime in the countryside with your favorite werewolf.
Warnings - Just some fluff
“Jack, if we stay up here any longer, I will fall asleep,”
“Trust me, Amor. This is worth it,”
You eyed Jack, seeing him keep his eyes up on the starry night high over the two of you as you sighed and snuggled into him a big more. The warm summer night was not unbearable, but it was making you sleepy as you both were laying out on your backs on the front lawn in front of your house. All you could hear was the shilling sound of the wind coming along the wildflowers around you, the softest sound of the babbling brook behind your house, and the insects who came out at night clicking away.
It was Jack’s idea to move to countryside a year ago, he needed to be away from the bustling city that seemed to give him far too much stress. You were glad to move out too, as much as you loved the city and doing things on the weekend, you weren’t going to say no to him. A change of pace was what you both needed, and once you got your hands on the little house near a small river and close by a national forest, it was perfect.
It’s been one year since you moved into at small house.
“Apparently it’s one of the better nights to see most of the constellations that are out,” Jack explained as he was pointing to each of the constellations that were brighter than the others, “Ursa Major…Cancer….Ah that is Lyra!”
Jack was just a curious soul, wanting to know more about the world around him. You loved that about him, the thirst to find out what else was out there in the world and yet have the youthful heart that never seemed to be tainted. It’s what drew you to him, the softest smiles and the whole hearted laughs that were shared with you. Maybe your heart was calloused in the past from ex boyfriends and hardships, but ever since Jack came into your life, your heart had the calloused shield shed and a new form was coming through.
It was both scary and yet exciting at the same time.
“There, look over there,” He said as he pointed, your eyes following in the same direction as a small flicker of light shot through the sky, almost too quick but you caught it soon enough. You beamed, amazing at the sight.
“How did you catch that?” You asked Jack, looking up at him as he shrugged.
“Good werewolf eyes I guess,” he replied, you laughing as he went one, “Actually, on my last job the client is an astrologer. She told me that tonight is a meteor shower, one of the biggest ones in the past decade.”
Another flicker came through the sky quickly, then another. It was like a slight show began, and the thrilling sensation of you and Jack being the only ones seeing it. If you both were back in the city, there would be no way in seeing not just the meteor shower that was occurring, but the constellations too. You realized that the first time in your new home, you could see hundreds of more stars that were scattered along the blue night sky. It was so memorizing for you, spending that first night outside on the same grassy ground that you were sprawled out now just watching the constellations come to life.
It was even better when Jack came out, blanket in hand, and you two watching in each other’s arms.
“Happy one year,” Jack hummed to you as he rubbed your arm with his fingers. You grinned, seeing a few more light beams dash across the sky right in front of you.
“Happy one year, my wolf boy.”
The End
June Summer Prompts
#jack russell x y/n#jack russell x you#jack russell x fem!reader#jack russell x reader#jack russell#werewolf by night fanfiction#werewolf by night#marvel cinematic universe#marvel cinematic universe fanfiction#marvel fanfic#marvel fanwriting#marvel fanfiction#mcu writing#mcu phase 4#mcu fanfiction
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Ok, I have seen TONS of posts about Josh Hutcherson complaining or observing that, “he didn’t do barely anything after Hunger Games! I wanted to see him in more stuff!” And with the new trailer for it, some want more Hutcherson content before the FNAF movie.
Well. I have a Hulu original (looks safe from the evil mouse merge)/yarr harr high seas (looks like at least 1337x has all 3 seasons) show recommendation for you. It’s taken up welcome space in my brain, for many good and funny reasons. I’m not a Hulu or executive producer Seth Rogan shill, this show is just surprisingly damn good.
Future Man, starring and produced by Josh Hutcherson.
Josh Hutcherson is Josh… Futturman, a janitor at a local biotech research lab which is doing work on curing all illnesses. He finishes a particular video game in his spare time, which turns out to be a scenario sent from the future to the past as a way to find someone to save humanity’s future. Future freedom fighters Tiger and Wolf, the other two main characters, time travel into his bedroom, and the story kicks off. Turns out the biotech research lab isn’t doing the good work it says it is.
Yes, there is time travel. Multiple forms of time travel are used in intelligent ways to the service of the story and the characters, not just to “be smarter than you.” Alternate timelines, doomed timeline individuals, altered main timelines, facilitated by multiple kinds of time travel devices with different capabilities. You’ve seen time cops done before, well here they are again but better and funnier. You’ve seen a time loop done before, well here it is again but with more horrifying implications.
Yes, the characters do start off fairly one-dimensional. You have a weak gamer, a strong woman, and a tough man. Then both the main characters and recurring side characters have arcs and development that make sense with their foundations and personalities, both individually and as a group. It’s consistent, they use skills they picked up in a time travel stint, plot lines that affected them come back. Same thing with the world setting. I really don't want to spoil it, it's so damn fun to see these guys pick up skills and traits.
Yes, the humor is ALSO very crude and sometimes fluid-based. A couple of the writers also worked on Sausage Party. I don’t have a lot of points here: if you’re ok with sex and nudity humor erring on the (well done!) practical effects gross-wise, go for it. If you’re not, I hope you can forgive me but this show might not be for you. However, some of these physical jokes come back for the sake of the story and character development, sometimes in surprising ways. For example, something that happens early season 1 comes back in mid season 2 to connect characters, and it's an incredibly touching payoff for how crude the setup was.
For having such crude humor, with such a tropey beginning to the story, with such basic characters, I was shocked by myself a couple episodes in: I was really invested in what these guys would do next and what would happen next. Wacky stuff happens every episode that still manages to logically follow what happened before. I know, it's the minimum for a fun show, but it was also emotionally engaging. I wanted to see these jackasses win and understand and work with each other! With the least amount of damage to themselves and the world! Their motivations change and shift and become more personal and come into conflict with the goals of others and their group! Holy shit, these are well written dynamic people who remember (or don't ;) ) things that happened to them!
Did I mention there are three complete seasons, each with its own different but logically connected arc, that it’s a finished story, and it was not cancelled midway through? Give it a shot!
#future man#josh hutcherson#hulu#there's only like... two pieces of wolf fanart on tumblr#so like. I think this show needs more attention#especially for y'all who like hutcherson :) he's a suuuuper sweaty pathetic guy in this and it's funny as hell#actually everyone has turns being sweaty and pathetic and also sexy#first big original post in a while lmao#josie muses#hope at least one person gives this show a try from this post
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Eyes of a King
Part two of my Thranduil soulmate one shot
Sitting on my bed I listen to the birds outside my window, it’s strange not even just strange, bizarre. I would’ve been in Paris a few days ago, but now I’m in the fictional realm of Mirkwood that isn’t supposed to exist. On top of that, I’m the king's soulmate. I haven’t even seen him since my first day here. Meanwhile, the maids were the only ones that ever talked to besides Gandalf. Who of course has been hanging around Mirkwood. Part of me really wants to go talk to Thranduil or even just look at him again to make sure I’m not in a dream, but whenever I walk around I can never find him, and it seems impolite to enter his chambers. Sighing I hop off my bed and peer out the open windows to my left. From my room, I can see the hustle and bustle of the town below. I’ve thought of going down, but the world still seems too alien for me to go down alone. I don’t want to cause any issues. However, a knock at the door pulls me from my thoughts. Contemplating whether to open it or not I ask “Who is it?” A chuckle escapes the person behind the door and I open the door now realizing it is Gandalf. His smile is contagious and a laugh falls from my lips as I greet him “Good Morning Gandalf.”
He bows slightly and replies “It is a good morning indeed my lady.” Gandalf holds out his hand and asks “Would you like to walk with me through the market on this fine morning?” Walking out the door and softly closing it he offers his arm I loop it with mine, giving him a mischievous smile I ask “How many times do I have to tell you just to call me by my name?”
He mirrors my smile and replies “Many more” Shaking my head I question the practicality of my situation. I was basically kidnapped by a fictional character which happens to be illegal and I should be finding a way back home, but my soulmate who won’t even look at me is here. Frick me. I suddenly jump a bit when I hear Gandalf speak “Are you alright my dear?” His brow is creased in worry and his words truly did reflect his concern.
I acknowledge his fretting with a nod and a simple “Of course thank you.” He seemed to know that it was a white lie, but he simply nodded as we start walking through the different vendors. A small gasp escapes my lips as I see a stall with books of all types. Almost in a trance I quickly pull away from Gandalf and ask the vendor “Are there any in English, listo?” Did I add please in Sindarin at the end? Yes. Am I also a nerd who likes learning languages? Also yes. The vendor who I start to examine seemed shocked and now that I was looking at her I realize how beautiful she is. The Elleth who still seemed a bit cautious of me says back in perfect English “Yes a few…” She seems torn on something and I go to ask her about it but she beats me to it “I have never seen you around here, if I would have seen you before I would have known, not many humans come to Mirkwood.”
I was about to answer her when Gandalf seemingly appears beside me “She is my niece and has traveled with me from Dale.” Looking to Gandalf questioning what he was doing I then almost smacked myself, of course, he’s going to lie. I cannot go around saying I’m from another world.
✯✯✯✯✯✯
Huffing I sheepishly ask Gandalf “Could I have a little help?” After having a nice conversation with the elleth (whose name I learned is Älva) showed me a stack of beautiful hand-bound leather books in English. I was about to apologize because I had no money, but then he gave her shillings or something for all of them. He did so while I insisted he didn’t have to, yet he told me that Thranduil gave the money to Gandalf for me!
Gandalf gives a hearty chuckle “Of course my lady.”
So with great difficulty, we finally made it up the stairs and as we approached the doors to my room I ask Gandalf “Does he want to see me at all?”
The sadness that had seeped into my voice seemed to shock him for we stood silent for a few moments and Gandalf finally manages to form a few words “Of course he does my dear, but as I’m sure you understand Thranduil was married before you arrived and he did indeed love her.” My heart ached at his words and I croaked out “I know- It’s just.”
His eyes seemed to soften as I turn around “You’re lost my lady, I know you feel as if you do not belong.” Instead of answering I open the door to my room and set down the plethora of books that I held. Why is it me? Taking a shaky breath I look to Gandalf who also set down the books he was carrying. He asks me “Is there anything more I can do to help my lady?” Shaking my head I walk out to my balcony and sit. What am I going to do? Listening to the big doors shut I look to the skyline, there, there was the misty mountains. If I’m correct the dwarves should pass through Mirkwood soon… If they do I will be sure to help them, there is no need for all the bloodshed to occur… Getting and brushing off my dress (the maids insisted I wore one, but I am heavily considering changing into a tunic and trousers) I pick up a book I got, peek out the door, and head down the hall. I distinctly remember someone mentioning a library around here…
Creeping down the hall I jump when I hear a voice “What are you doing here?” Spinning around I see Legolas staring at me glaring.
Suddenly feeling much smaller I manage to speak “So a maid told me about a library and I just got a book and I really would like to see what books the palace has and- oh I’m trailing on I apologize.”
Quickly bowing I start to head right to look for the library when I hear “It’s to the left.” Turning around and bowing again I head to the left hall and slow my walking when I’m out of sight from Legolas. Here and there a maid, butler, or guard passes me, but for the most part, it was quiet. Taking my time I look at the carefully entwined branches, some areas were also stone, and overall it seemed as if nature itself swallowed the castle. The way the wood entwines with the stone and overall structure was breathtaking. Perhaps this architecture is better than Paris’s. Letting out a sigh I finally come to a doorway that smelt like old books and worn leather, knowing it's the Library I walk in book in hand, and see how beautiful it is. The elaborate designs all throughout it are breathtaking. The shelves themselves were made from intricate branches woven together. Brushing my hand over them lightly I finally take time to look at the library as a whole. Its walls were grand, at least 10 meters tall. As I pass by a chair the occupant who seems to be a young elfling was curled up sleeping. Smiling I take their cloak that fell on the floor and drape it over the elfling’s small frame. Looking around more I see a picture of a beautiful elleth hung in the center of the room. From her proud stature and crown, I could tell she was the last Queen. The little jealousy I had was now a burning crackling fire, it seemed so wrong for me to be jealous of the kind and graceful elleth, but I couldn’t help it.
Her soft features made it seem like she understood me as if she was saying “I’m sorry you don’t deserve this.” I hated being envious. Turning away I observe the rest of the room where soft light from the outside cascaded in and cast shadows in the library. The light especially seemed to hit a spot specifically a cozy corner in the room. I walk over to the chair and got closer only to notice someone was in it. That someone being Thranduil. After weighing the pros and cons I walk around the side of the chair to see his usual stern face now peaceful, his eyes were drooping like a child and his crown was off to a side table instead of being perched atop his head. Stepping away from him I instead sit in a nook by the window and begin to read. At first, I read silently, reading about the beginning of Middle Earth. Stealing a glance at Thranduil I made the decision to read aloud, although quietly. A while later I glance at Thranduil again to see an almost invisible smile ghosting his face. Perhaps not all is lost, smiling I feel my own eyelids begin to become droopy as I slowly drift into slumber.
✯✯✯✯✯✯
Waking up I begin to stretch, my back arches as my blanket begins to fall o- wait I didn’t bring a blanket. Now fully awake I grab at the fabric and realize it was actually a robe, a silver robe… A silver robe with actual pieces of silver… Oh my God… He gave me his robe! My mind buzzing I reach for my book and a note falls out. The looping English and signature made my heart flutter.
Thank you for reading - Thranduil
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Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job #39: “Tennis” | April 13, 2009 - 12:30AM | S04E10
The final 4:3 episode of Awesome Show! This is maybe one of the weaker episodes of the season, which is quite a shame. Shoulda ended the season on Cinco Bros, my men.
Spagett shills for Cigarette Juice, which features all the nicotine buzz you crave in the form of a canned beverage. It’s also got what appear ot be flecks of tobacco in it. This is one of those bits they do where the gross visuals do the heavy lifting, but I genuinely find this one pretty effective. “GOOD NEWS: CIGARETTE JUICE” is the jingle, and it actually is very catchy. It’s a weirdly believable slogan.
I also like the bit where Spagett is on the phone complaining to a manager or somebody that they refuse to give him a towel after dumping juice all over him. Him being an occasional cigar-user is fun, I love that for him. SPECIAL NOTE: one can hear a snippet of Children of the Sun by Robert Lueben, used memorably in the video of Tim & Eric playing with their pets from Nite Live.
Another sketch features Glen Tennis, making the title of the episode a double entendre. What a treat. I like this one too. Glen Tennis’s movie stars Grum, as seen in the Anniversary episode. He made a computer animated movie about the first Thanksgiving that is only slightly more inaccurate than what American schools teach kids. Grum mistaking the natives for “clowns” is hilarious, and the shot of him menacingly eating maize is very funny/memorable. I also appreciate the bit about the proprietary video system required to view the movie. It’s a good one!
There’s a sketch in here where two divorced-looking men sloppily eat wings and then it becomes a music video where Tim sings a sorrowful song about how he misses his wife. I don’t think this one’s bad, but it just misses the mark for me. A noble effort, I guess. I vaguely remember when press for season three was underway, one of the articles used a photo from this shoot. Tim and Eric episodes are like Guided by Voices albums, where sometimes a song recorded years prior makes its way onto the track listing. I don’t hate it, just don’t like it that much.
The rest of the episode is dedicated to the wraparound: Tim and Eric are in a million-dollar Tennis match with one another. Tim can’t even serve the ball and loses point after point, so Eric offers to call it off. Tim refuses, and then miraculously starts to pull it out. At the last minute, he fucks up big time. Eric wins, and he’s a poor sportsman. Not only does he gloat about besting his friend, he also smacks him in the head with his racket, twice.
This wraparound has some funny moments, but it’s kinda unfocused. I dislike them focusing on Tim’s double take when Eric mispronounces his own name. They should know better than to do that, come on. They do that kind of spoon-feeding “what-the?” style humor so infrequently that it sticks out the few times they do indulge. This is one of those times. There’s also a Mel Brooksian gag where they are very obviously replaced by doubles (Are these the Flight of the Concords guys? I think they might be?? They are supposedly in this and I'm guessing that's them).
This episode inexplicably features The Lonely Island boys and Fred Armisen, who just show up to root along at the sidelines of the Tennis court. The episode ends with David Liebe Hart clumsily delivering the line: “My best friend just got hit in the head by his best friend. Don’t you have any FEELINGS for him?”. Now that (a weird guy talking) I like.
MAIL BAG
GREAT stuff about the last Xavier episode we covered:
Ah damnesia vu! I also love this episode, in a lot of ways I kind of consider it the unofficial pilot episode to Off The Air just cause of how much DNA it shares with it. Weird, trippy, sometimes scary clips, all in different styles strung together seamlessly into one thing through video editing, starting on a cold open of some random video that gets bookended at the end of the episode which plays a moving song over the credits. I'm sure I'm describing it horribly but that's the gist of it.
This makes sense to me! I respect it!
I do have a lot of trivia on it, though: they made a page for the contest which was released on the adult swim website, and as part of the contest they released some of the actual 3d models used in the show. It's on archive DOT org if you dig hard enough, having the actual files used in a show always kinda fascinated me, to my knowledge It's the only show I know of that did something like this officially without it being a leak or a 3 second flash file on some animator's website.
I was most curious about what the contest actually looked like on a practical level, but didn't even know how to begin to look for that stuff. I had no memory of the contest at all. I guess I wasn't paying close enough attention.
The first clip, by grant of "3GI", he ended up doing something kinda similar in 2018 with the movie Shrek: "Shrek Retold", a bunch of animators redid different scenes. David Libre Hart & Michael Cusack (2 [AS] people) are in it, It got like 10 million views and a bunch of articles written about it. youtube DOT com/watch?v=pM70TROZQsI
You know, I looked at his page and saw the Shrek Retold thing and didn't even give a thought to click on that stuff. I had no idea that was such a big thing.
You already covered shmorky so I'll just point out he did a few bumpers for Adult Swim (including this famous one youtube DOT com/watch?v=0oBx7Jg4m-o) and link this other video he did, it's one of the most unintentional bits of cringe comedy ever made (that's his real voice btw) youtube DOT com/watch?v=F-4jZzfoEz8
I vaguely knew about the "THIS IS FINE" connection at one point, but I forgot about that. holy moly, dark stuff in that second video. I'm writing this in haste but I can't wait to make myself feel weird by watching that entire thing. THAT VOICE! I NEVER KNEW
The video towards the end where Xavier eats his own fingers was done by Devin Flynn, who created "Y'all so stupid" for superdelxue and did misc. Shorts on Wonder Showzen and Off the Air. I think all the submissions are on the DVD in full (could be wrong about this). I found a reddit post talking about the contest that links to archived versions of the pages & models. (reddit DOT com/r/adultswim/comments/70brc8/xavier_renegade_angel_3d_models_rediscovered/?rdt=40391)
I sorta suspected that was Devin Flynn, hell yeah. I just checked and the DVD actually has submissions that DIDN'T get picked! I should watch them, probably, but I'm not gonna for this blog. I'm going to do it for fun and not tell anyone about it.
One final thing: on your post all the links after the first one link to the ketchup video lmao
I'm not going to check because you're obviously trolling me and they probably all work fine! How dare you.
But, also, thank you for your service, you did a better write-up than I did. YOU FUCKERS SOUND BETTER THAN ME TONIGHT
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get to know a blogger // tagged by the lovely @aeide!
Share your wallpaper:
i have a dual-monitor setup where on the left is a vertical non-4k monitor (i really thought i was gonna use it more for coding but now it's just where discord / game wikis / spotify live lol) and on the right is my main monitor which is curved 4k, so i had a hell of a time finding something that works for both — but this shot of leyndell actually works beautifully because the erdtree sanctuary area fits perfectly on the left, and the rest of the city sits nicely on the right. the resolution discrepancy isn't too jarring either, which can be tricky when you're trying to make a single image flow relatively seamlessly between non-4k and 4k. i mean it's definitely not perfect, but i think it looks really really good
Last song you listened to:
"carnival of rust" by poets of the fall
Currently reading:
a memory called empire by arkady martine
the hands of the emperor by victoria goddard
Last movie:
oooooo. uhhhhhhh. i think i rewatched the princess bride relatively recently?
Last show:
yellowjackets season 2 episode 2 "edible complex" babEYYYYY
Craving:
scrambled eggs
What are you wearing right now:
pajamas
How tall are you:
5'3"
Piercings:
just the earlobes! i don't wear earrings often though
Tattoos:
a small joshua tree design thing between my shoulderblades
chrysanthemums on my left bicep
a twin peaks owl + roses on my right thigh
the girl + triceratops skull from this promo pic from jurassic world fallen kingdom on my right calf. absolute dogshit movie but i really really liked the still lol
i do want more in theory but haven't decided what of / where on my body.... maybe a shark on my ribcage idk
Glasses? Contacts?
usually contacts. glasses if i'm having a really slow/lazy morning, but i don't wear them out
Last thing you ate:
blackcurrant candy drops
Favorite color:
dark purple / red / burgundy! anything from the range of eggplant to red wine.
Current obsession:
YELLOWJACKETS!!!!!! 🐝
elder scrolls online... i want to spend my real actual hard-earned american dollars on an in-game furnished house SOOOOOO BAD... i might do the math to see how long it would hypothetically take me to earn enough monthly crowns via the eso+ subscription vs a one-time crown purchase ughhh i hate this for me but also the game is quite fun! do i know what's going on? not really! but i am vibing
these stupid blackcurrant candies that i paid jeff bezos way too much money for to ship from the uk but goddamn they're good. simpkins established 1921 finest all-natural and original travel sweets blackcurrant drops hmu babe i would shill for you on instagram in a SECOND.
Any pets:
none, but i really want a dog!
Favorite fictional character:
kassandra from ass creed odyssey :)
The last place you traveled:
catalina island! but i'm also going to chicago soon!
i am tagging: @winedark @doomcountry @ellrond @dinluke @reiverreturns @thychesters and anyone else who wants to do this!
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Do you think your pairing would work out in an AU? I.e. are they together because the serendipity of the universe brought them together, or was this the only way for them?
You know how in Avengers: Infinity War Dr. Strange says there is one possible victory out of 14 million outcomes? That's how I feel about Ethan and Cassie except in reverse: there are 14,000,605 outcomes of them as soulmates for life except one (You Weren't Meant For Me).
Cassie (and I) love the quote from Kiersten White in Chaos of Stars “And I’d choose you; in a hundred lifetimes, in a hundred worlds, in any version of reality, I’d find you and I’d choose you.”
I don't write a lot of AUs, but I showed the possibilities in the following:
Can’t Help Falling: Ethan is well...Ethan, but Cassie is a ballerina who's in town for a performance run. I always meant to write more for this AU as I had a half-baked/almost done idea of how their relationship unfolds here.
What If?: This is a college AU series based on a reblog game question: what if they were the same age and had met in college. It also featured an end scene with Maxenna because they're meant to be together in every universe too (including in the one where Ethan and Cassie are not).
Fated: This series started as a one-shot FBI AU but soon became a trilogy. It was a lot of fun to write (and Amanda Schull has played an FBI agent in movies and TV, so not hard to imagine her in the scenes).
I have fic ideas for other AUs. There is one that I really want to write. It has Cassie as a philanthropist, running her family's foundation. Ethan is still who he is in canon, and is asked to shill for money. They meet at a fundraiser and he has preconceived notions about her. Drama ensues.
With Maxenna, I've started to explore their "what if" scenarios, starting with A Modern Fairy Tale and A Modern Romance. What if Max & Sienna meet while she's in med school? They still have a 'friends to lovers' arc, but not completely as they become lovers before it's all figured out and need to hit pause.
There's another AU idea I have for them where Sienna is a chef doing interesting experiments with molecular gastronomy in New Orleans' food scene. Max is still a Valentine and wants to woo her for his family's hotel business. He's all business and she's determined to get him to see her as a woman not an acquisition.
My blog is all about soulmates and happy ever afters, so in every scenario, my pairings will find each other.
I can guarantee you that I'm not short of ideas, just time. 🤣
Tags under the cut
Character Asks: @annfg8 @bluebelle08 @cariantha @crazy-loca-blog @coffeeheartaddict2 @doriopenheart @lucy-268 @jerzwriter @lady-calypso @mrs-ramsey @queencarb @quixoticdreamer16 @rookiemartin @tessa-liam @trappedinfanfiction
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yk a couple things that are really funny when you juxtapose them together? 1) my father once told me that there's no excuse for not knowing something because we live in an "informational age" and it is obscenely easy to discover anything about anything via the internet/google/your phone/etc. coincidentally, i also work in my college's bookstore, secondary but not connected to the university library, on the other side of the building. and 2), on average, people barely buy the trade books that we sell. they're usually front-of-the-bookstore schlock (colleen hoover books, glorified, published fan-fiction with some occasional classics like 1984 or catch-22 intermingled in but barely recognized). in fact, we only have two shelves dedicated to trade books. we have a large assortment of books dedicated for classes and they're all in the low-to-high hundreds range (in terms of price), because the publishers and the bookstore need to both get their money back for the production of all these books and they expect students to shill out that money out of desperation bc well. you kinda Need them for your class, right? i’ve noticed that people only buy trade books if they're genuinely interested. and people only seek out information if they're really curious. and the amount of people i see who embody this mindset of wanting to know more is so low, it's depressing. an older man once came into the bookstore a couple weeks ago and asked my coworkers and i, “how many countries are there on the planet?“ i remember once seeing a site that said 156, so that’s what i said. he corrected me, saying that it was somewhere around 196 (it’s apparently 195), and i just... agreed with him. i hadn’t heard that information before, but i assumed that the guy knew what he was talking about. he quipped that this was usually something people would “argue about for 20 minutes, like at the dinner table at thanksgiving.“ i just shot back, “i trust that you’re right, but why argue about it at all? we could just look it up right now and see.” neither one of us did (he asked us about our job, our majors, etc.), but that particular moment still sticks with me in my mind for some reason. it was such a simple question with a simple quantitative answer but on some level he still expected some kind of (small) discourse erupt over it. and the site that i had looked at forever ago was off by 40 countries. and neither one of us expressed the impulse to make sure we were engaging with factual information. where am i going with this? i feel like this idea that we live in an informational age is not only true, but vital. and yet, despite this, how accessible is that information and how easy is it for people to find out something new, something simple? we live in a world where people barely recognize each other as human based on things that they don’t know. and somehow curiosity isn’t a natural inclination. it’s strange to me.
#nocturnal writings#im gonna. make this nonrebloggable sorry#if this proliferated i think id lose it somehow
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Watching The Dressmaker for the first time, so there will be spoilers
I don't know what's weirder, watching Kate Winslet speak with an Aussie accent or watching her smoke. But Lenny, the lung cancer!
Kate even says "hm" like an Aussie, but you can tell who the real ones are
Liam looks identical to Chris
Wouldn't be an Australian film without Shane Jacobson. I met him at Rocky Horror, he was very kind, stopped someone from cutting in front of me for autographs
Say what you want about the cop-type guy, he matched his hat and skirt to his uniform top and tie very well
Nearly bit right through my finger in the footy scene
Thought she was nude but the black dress and the decolletage is nice
I don't get how changing her dress made the opposite team get distracted but alright
Pot brownies!
I've seen the Liam Hemsworth stripping scene in every single trailer. Gotta give the viewers something to look forward to
The actor that plays Gertrude's mum would make a great Emily Weiss
"Give it! Give it!" Kate, your Elena Vernham is showing
Same with "Teddy, look." and "No no no no no d-don't!" and "Those vile idiots, I invited them up here." and "God, she must have broken something when she fell." and "But... she's in pain!" and "She would've hated it, she would've hated this one!"
Also the "But... she's in pain!" delivery is me when my mum calls Elena crazy
Love that Teddy finds out that Myrtle's technically responsible for a boy's death and responds by making out with her
Cracked up laughing at Chancellor Elena Vernham's face and voice saying, "It's Superman!"
"I AM NO LONGER CURSED!"
Oh no, she's gonna get Titanic flashbacks, they're on a boat and Teddy's gone
"So, she is cursed." - my dad
Kate's got one panicked sobbing voice but it's a good one
Ay there's those hymn number things that were in Reefer Madness (2005), but unlike in Reefer Madness, none of the hymn numbers are 420
That's such an Elena mourning outfit
Ooh I reckon that extra's in Hairspray (2007) They just call her up whenever they need a background character for a film set in the 1950s-1960s
"10 shillings." "12 shillings." Makes me think of "5 galleons." "I'm your brother!" "Ten galleons."
"At least you've got Una." Extra in front right's reaction is hilarious and perfect. Should've got a raise for that
Seeing Myrtle asleep is making me think of that one ep of The Regime
Makeup guys did a good job, very realistic exhausted, red-eyes-from-crying look
Kate makes "Thank you, Trudy." sound like "Go fuck yourself, Trudy."
Now Kate looks like Elena in ep 6
The pot brownies are back!
Had to die right in the middle of the town for the perfect shot (as in the way the scene's set, there's no bullet)
Myrtle being sad and drunk is such a mood, so's her outfit
HAHA I have to gif that scene for Mae
The way she reads the letter 😂 "Winyerp... drama club..." She's so hangover, I love her so much, I'll hold her hair back if she vomits. I'll just step right through the TV screen. I wrote a song about a similar thing
And I have to gif THIS scene for Mae
"Marigold, this is very wrong!" "Yes... But I'm unstable."
The contrast between the pastel tiles and his dark blood is so pretty
Shane looks so good in Rocco makeup, with his beard and everything
Ah there's the clip that's in the trailer, editors did a good job spoiling the twist ending
"Where are you going, miss?" Home? "Paris." (disappointed voice) Aw
"You never met the rubbish." is a great final line
#first time watch#the dressmaker#the dressmaker 2015#the dressmaker film#the dressmaker movie#kate winslet#shane jacobson
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STEAM NEXT FEST JUNE 2023 ROGUE EDITION
It’s another edition of Steam Next Fest, with a whole deluge of demos for people to try on the platform. As a rogue-genre self-proclaimed connoisseur, this June 2023, I dive into the literal hundreds of Coming Soon titles to pick out at random something that vaguely interests me. As such, this selection is entirely subjective to my own taste and I’ll clarify what each vague category means.
I tried to spend at least 30 minutes per title to see if their demo slice is able to ‘hook’ as it were.
Let’s go!
NEEDS MORE TO STAND OUT
While simple isn’t necessarily bad, I consider these games either being too derivative or not having some ‘spark’ to draw in people who may have already played similar games.
Death Must Die
Imitation seems to be the sincerest form of flattery, considering the game’s basic mechanics being what Vampires Survivor popularized in recent memory, and a UI uncannily like Hades, down to its flourish, besides other things borrowed from the latter.
God of Weapons
Similarly to Death Must Die, this is also one being an auto-battler. It does have an interesting gimmick in that you need to sort your inventory to try activate synergies, but I’m not sure if that’s enough at this point.
Spellshot
Getting upgrades for your bullets for synergies, effects and firing them as you try to kite waves of enemies in a pretty cramped room is okay as an idea. I can see the potential, but it’s not for me.
INTERESTING CONCEPTUALLY
These are titles that have things that draw me or I can acknowledge seem quite fun, but it’s not quite for me.
Acolyte of the Altar
Take Hearthstone, or perhaps Legends of Runeterra, and give it some randomness to get this game. There’s some fun to be had to play around the Beasts’ Rage skills which activate as turns go on, or events that could see you picking up a not quite helpless dog which could potentially ruin your primary gameplan. Deckbuilder enthusiasts can definitely consider this one.
The Black Pepper Crew
With your eclectic crew of furries, pick up bounties and take your targets down. It’s a tactical RPG with random elements as you could pick up some amazing item, or find a godly crew member to add to your roster. I think it controls a little stiffly - which is probably odd to say about a TRPG - which can be worked out in time.
Cards Survivors
Protect the bottom of your screen with the draw of the deck, firing bullets to fend off the horde from the top. It’s got a bit more going for it as you try to wrangle the piercing shots and / or cry out in dismay as the rocket AOE doesn’t clear as much as you wanted it to.
Finely Diced
Imagine serving up dice to your customers. It’s deceptively challenging since you need to hope the dice are weighted in your favour and if they aren’t, you’re forced to send them off anyway and not get paid for your troubles. I blanked out and spent all my money on ingredients and really hecked up my dice faces so uh, give it your best shot.
Knights of the Cross
In order to not be shanked by the Polish, I will only refer to this game as Knights of the Cross. It felt to me like a more story-driven Slay the Spire, which is fine and all. The Live2D jiggling boob physics is definitely distracting, but can be a selling point if you’re into that.
Lucky Island
A cute little spin on a typical sim city builder management game, where you play the slot machine to get resources for your residents. I’m not sure how to really work on the slot machine as I felt it rather clunky to actually utilize, and it’s basically the foundation of the game.
I’d like to take this mid-roll to shill a little.
If you find my subjective list interesting, consider tipping me on Ko-Fi so that I can buy these games for myself and support the devs. Link is in the description as well.
Now for the rest of the list.
TO LOOK OUT FOR
Titles I have more interest in than those in the previous category, basically.
Digs
Alongside another game in this category, you basically get to create your own tower defense map by chunking the path yourself and hoping you get the stuff you need from the rocks around you. You can’t just dig out with abandon, as you will be forced to stop when you hit too much ‘noise’, and enemy spawns can appear just about right beside your beloved treasure.
Let’s! Revolution!
Reminiscent of the classic Minesweeper, you need to flip over the tiles to chase down Lord not-Farquaad. Hope you have enough energy for the skills, or have the resources you need to get the upper hand on the enemies hiding face-down. For future builds, being able to use the WASD to move around the field might be nice, as otherwise, there’s a lot of clicking involved. At the very least, let the player just zoom across rows or columns they’ve already unveiled.
TileDeck TD
A different take on tower defense, you also build your own map based on the cards you draw. As nice as it is to just slap down single exit roads, you will need to branch them out to access the resources on the outer ring so that you can actually protect your castle from future waves.
Wizard with a Gun
If you liked Cult of the Lamb, I think this one should be a dead ringer for you. It’s got similar overworld exploration mechanics for materials to craft more bullets and to fix up the world one bit at a time with the power of extreme violence. Potentially.
PERSONAL PICKS
The ones I’d prioritize to purchase.
Cuisineer
Did you want to be more hands-on violent in the Atelier series, or even Recettear? Pick up Cuisineer where you can whack the living lights out of everything in the world outside and bring them back home to serve up in delectable dishes in your restaurant, or simply to fulfill errands. The rogue-lite elements are, well, lighter here - to me anyway - so if you aren’t really a fan of the randomness, there’s still plenty of static elements of action combat and management for you to work on. The early game hell is certainly real here!
Dicefolk
Your team of three not-Pokemon accompany you to the greater outside to defeat other not-Pokemon! The battle system is simple but engaging, with three dice per side determining your actions. You must spend the enemy dice before you can end your turn, but you do get some control over the randomness. I really enjoyed the demo, doing Rotation Battles while picking up my mostly-snail homie for the team and bopping the creatures along the way.
Froggy’s Battle
Wow, who could have imagined a frog game would make its way here? Jokes aside, it’s another pretty mechanically simple game where you go round and round in your skate tube and pulling off sick moves to style on your quote unquote rizzless amphibian brethren. It’s also really cute to boot.
Heretic’s Fork
There’s something magical about being some unpaid intern working away at a gamified version of being purgatory’s jailor, accompanied by legally distinct Klippy. It’s got some bopping music to go with watching your big balls swinging back and forth to smite the sinners trying to escape hell.
Robobeat
With an opening more or less beat for beat taken straight from the first Guardians of the Galaxy movie, this wholly robotic Star Lord will be gunslinging to cassettes you can change on the fly to find a beat you can shoot to. Of course, you’re entirely free to do completely tone-deaf clears by not matching the rhythm, but where’s the style in that?
CONCLUSION
Steam Next Fest June 2023 will be on until 26 June Pacific Time. I am just one man trying out a mere handful out of one specific sub-genre’s available demos, so if you have the time, definitely do give the whole lot a shot!
Until next time. Thanks for watching.
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Emily Brontë’s WUTHERING HEIGHTS; Chapter IX
He entered, vociferating oaths dreadful to hear; and caught me in the act of stowing his son away in the kitchen cupboard. Hareton was impressed with a wholesome terror of encountering either his wild beast’s fondness or his madman’s rage; for in one he ran a chance of being squeezed and kissed to death, and in the other of being flung into the fire, or dashed against the wall; and the poor thing remained perfectly quiet wherever I chose to put him.
“There, I’ve found it out at last!” cried Hindley, pulling me back by the skin of my neck, like a dog. “By heaven and hell, you’ve sworn between you to murder that child! I know how it is, now, that he is always out of my way. But, with the help of Satan, I shall make you swallow the carving-knife, Nelly! You needn’t laugh; for I’ve just crammed Kenneth, head-downmost, in the Black-horse marsh; and two is the same as one—and I want to kill some of you: I shall have no rest till I do!”
“But I don’t like the carving-knife, Mr. Hindley,” I answered; “it has been cutting red herrings. I’d rather be shot, if you please.”
“You’d rather be damned!” he said; “and so you shall. No law in England can hinder a man from keeping his house decent, and mine’s abominable! Open your mouth.”
He held the knife in his hand, and pushed its point between my teeth: but, for my part, I was never much afraid of his vagaries. I spat out, and affirmed it tasted detestably—I would not take it on any account.
“Oh!” said he, releasing me, “I see that hideous little villain is not Hareton: I beg your pardon, Nell. If it be, he deserves flaying alive for not running to welcome me, and for screaming as if I were a goblin. Unnatural cub, come hither! I’ll teach thee to impose on a good-hearted, deluded father. Now, don’t you think the lad would be handsomer cropped? It makes a dog fiercer, and I love something fierce—get me a scissors—something fierce and trim! Besides, it’s infernal affectation—devilish conceit it is, to cherish our ears—we’re asses enough without them. Hush, child, hush! Well then, it is my darling! wisht, dry thy eyes—there’s a joy; kiss me. What! it won’t? Kiss me, Hareton! Damn thee, kiss me! By God, as if I would rear such a monster! As sure as I’m living, I’ll break the brat’s neck.”
Poor Hareton was squalling and kicking in his father’s arms with all his might, and redoubled his yells when he carried him upstairs and lifted him over the banister. I cried out that he would frighten the child into fits, and ran to rescue him. As I reached them, Hindley leant forward on the rails to listen to a noise below; almost forgetting what he had in his hands. “Who is that?” he asked, hearing some one approaching the stairs’-foot. I leant forward also, for the purpose of signing to Heathcliff, whose step I recognised, not to come further; and, at the instant when my eye quitted Hareton, he gave a sudden spring, delivered himself from the careless grasp that held him, and fell.
There was scarcely time to experience a thrill of horror before we saw that the little wretch was safe. Heathcliff arrived underneath just at the critical moment; by a natural impulse he arrested his descent, and setting him on his feet, looked up to discover the author of the accident. A miser who has parted with a lucky lottery ticket for five shillings, and finds next day he has lost in the bargain five thousand pounds, could not show a blanker countenance than he did on beholding the figure of Mr. Earnshaw above. It expressed, plainer than words could do, the intensest anguish at having made himself the instrument of thwarting his own revenge. Had it been dark, I daresay he would have tried to remedy the mistake by smashing Hareton’s skull on the steps; but, we witnessed his salvation; and I was presently below with my precious charge pressed to my heart. Hindley descended more leisurely, sobered and abashed.
“It is your fault, Ellen,” he said; “you should have kept him out of sight: you should have taken him from me! Is he injured anywhere?”
“Injured!” I cried angrily; “if he is not killed, he’ll be an idiot! Oh! I wonder his mother does not rise from her grave to see how you use him. You’re worse than a heathen—treating your own flesh and blood in that manner!”
He attempted to touch the child, who, on finding himself with me, sobbed off his terror directly. At the first finger his father laid on him, however, he shrieked again louder than before, and struggled as if he would go into convulsions.
“You shall not meddle with him!” I continued. “He hates you—they all hate you—that’s the truth! A happy family you have; and a pretty state you’re come to!”
“I shall come to a prettier, yet, Nelly,” laughed the misguided man, recovering his hardness. “At present, convey yourself and him away. And hark you, Heathcliff! clear you too quite from my reach and hearing. I wouldn’t murder you to-night; unless, perhaps, I set the house on fire: but that’s as my fancy goes.”
While saying this he took a pint bottle of brandy from the dresser, and poured some into a tumbler.
“Nay, don’t!” I entreated. “Mr. Hindley, do take warning. Have mercy on this unfortunate boy, if you care nothing for yourself!”
“Any one will do better for him than I shall,” he answered.
“Have mercy on your own soul!” I said, endeavouring to snatch the glass from his hand.
“Not I! On the contrary, I shall have great pleasure in sending it to perdition to punish its Maker,” exclaimed the blasphemer. “Here’s to its hearty damnation!”
He drank the spirits and impatiently bade us go; terminating his command with a sequel of horrid imprecations too bad to repeat or remember.
“It’s a pity he cannot kill himself with drink,” observed Heathcliff, muttering an echo of curses back when the door was shut. “He’s doing his very utmost; but his constitution defies him. Mr. Kenneth says he would wager his mare that he’ll outlive any man on this side Gimmerton, and go to the grave a hoary sinner; unless some happy chance out of the common course befall him.”
I went into the kitchen, and sat down to lull my little lamb to sleep. Heathcliff, as I thought, walked through to the barn. It turned out afterwards that he only got as far as the other side the settle, when he flung himself on a bench by the wall, removed from the fire, and remained silent.
I was rocking Hareton on my knee, and humming a song that began,—
It was far in the night, and the bairnies grat,
The mither beneath the mools heard that,
when Miss Cathy, who had listened to the hubbub from her room, put her head in, and whispered,—“Are you alone, Nelly?”
“Yes, Miss,” I replied.
She entered and approached the hearth. I, supposing she was going to say something, looked up. The expression of her face seemed disturbed and anxious. Her lips were half asunder, as if she meant to speak, and she drew a breath; but it escaped in a sigh instead of a sentence. I resumed my song; not having forgotten her recent behaviour.
“Where’s Heathcliff?” she said, interrupting me.
“About his work in the stable,” was my answer.
He did not contradict me; perhaps he had fallen into a doze. There followed another long pause, during which I perceived a drop or two trickle from Catherine’s cheek to the flags. Is she sorry for her shameful conduct?—I asked myself. That will be a novelty: but she may come to the point as she will—I sha’n’t help her! No, she felt small trouble regarding any subject, save her own concerns.
“Oh, dear!” she cried at last. “I’m very unhappy!”
“A pity,” observed I. “You’re hard to please; so many friends and so few cares, and can’t make yourself content!”
“Nelly, will you keep a secret for me?” she pursued, kneeling down by me, and lifting her winsome eyes to my face with that sort of look which turns off bad temper, even when one has all the right in the world to indulge it.
“Is it worth keeping?” I inquired, less sulkily.
“Yes, and it worries me, and I must let it out! I want to know what I should do. To-day, Edgar Linton has asked me to marry him, and I’ve given him an answer. Now, before I tell you whether it was a consent or denial, you tell me which it ought to have been.”
“Really, Miss Catherine, how can I know?” I replied. “To be sure, considering the exhibition you performed in his presence this afternoon, I might say it would be wise to refuse him: since he asked you after that, he must either be hopelessly stupid or a venturesome fool.”
“If you talk so, I won’t tell you any more,” she returned, peevishly rising to her feet. “I accepted him, Nelly. Be quick, and say whether I was wrong!”
“You accepted him! Then what good is it discussing the matter? You have pledged your word, and cannot retract.”
“But say whether I should have done so—do!” she exclaimed in an irritated tone; chafing her hands together, and frowning.
“There are many things to be considered before that question can be answered properly,” I said, sententiously. “First and foremost, do you love Mr. Edgar?”
“Who can help it? Of course I do,” she answered.
Then I put her through the following catechism: for a girl of twenty-two it was not injudicious.
“Why do you love him, Miss Cathy?”
“Nonsense, I do—that’s sufficient.”
“By no means; you must say why?”
“Well, because he is handsome, and pleasant to be with.”
“Bad!” was my commentary.
“And because he is young and cheerful.”
“Bad, still.”
“And because he loves me.”
“Indifferent, coming there.”
“And he will be rich, and I shall like to be the greatest woman of the neighbourhood, and I shall be proud of having such a husband.”
“Worst of all. And now, say how you love him?”
“As everybody loves—You’re silly, Nelly.”
“Not at all—Answer.”
“I love the ground under his feet, and the air over his head, and everything he touches, and every word he says. I love all his looks, and all his actions, and him entirely and altogether. There now!”
“And why?”
“Nay; you are making a jest of it: it is exceedingly ill-natured! It’s no jest to me!” said the young lady, scowling, and turning her face to the fire.
“I’m very far from jesting, Miss Catherine,” I replied. “You love Mr. Edgar because he is handsome, and young, and cheerful, and rich, and loves you. The last, however, goes for nothing: you would love him without that, probably; and with it you wouldn’t, unless he possessed the four former attractions.”
“No, to be sure not: I should only pity him—hate him, perhaps, if he were ugly, and a clown.”
“But there are several other handsome, rich young men in the world: handsomer, possibly, and richer than he is. What should hinder you from loving them?”
“If there be any, they are out of my way: I’ve seen none like Edgar.”
“You may see some; and he won’t always be handsome, and young, and may not always be rich.”
“He is now; and I have only to do with the present. I wish you would speak rationally.”
“Well, that settles it: if you have only to do with the present, marry Mr. Linton.”
“I don’t want your permission for that—I shall marry him: and yet you have not told me whether I’m right.”
“Perfectly right; if people be right to marry only for the present. And now, let us hear what you are unhappy about. Your brother will be pleased; the old lady and gentleman will not object, I think; you will escape from a disorderly, comfortless home into a wealthy, respectable one; and you love Edgar, and Edgar loves you. All seems smooth and easy: where is the obstacle?”
“Here! and here!” replied Catherine, striking one hand on her forehead, and the other on her breast: “in whichever place the soul lives. In my soul and in my heart, I’m convinced I’m wrong!”
“That’s very strange! I cannot make it out.”
“It’s my secret. But if you will not mock at me, I’ll explain it: I can’t do it distinctly; but I’ll give you a feeling of how I feel.”
She seated herself by me again: her countenance grew sadder and graver, and her clasped hands trembled.
“Nelly, do you never dream queer dreams?” she said, suddenly, after some minutes’ reflection.
“Yes, now and then,” I answered.
“And so do I. I’ve dreamt in my life dreams that have stayed with me ever after, and changed my ideas: they’ve gone through and through me, like wine through water, and altered the colour of my mind. And this is one: I’m going to tell it—but take care not to smile at any part of it.”
“Oh! don’t, Miss Catherine!” I cried. “We’re dismal enough without conjuring up ghosts and visions to perplex us. Come, come, be merry and like yourself! Look at little Hareton! he’s dreaming nothing dreary. How sweetly he smiles in his sleep!”
“Yes; and how sweetly his father curses in his solitude! You remember him, I daresay, when he was just such another as that chubby thing: nearly as young and innocent. However, Nelly, I shall oblige you to listen: it’s not long; and I’ve no power to be merry to-night.”
“I won’t hear it, I won’t hear it!” I repeated, hastily.
I was superstitious about dreams then, and am still; and Catherine had an unusual gloom in her aspect, that made me dread something from which I might shape a prophecy, and foresee a fearful catastrophe. She was vexed, but she did not proceed. Apparently taking up another subject, she recommenced in a short time.
“If I were in heaven, Nelly, I should be extremely miserable.”
“Because you are not fit to go there,” I answered. “All sinners would be miserable in heaven.”
“But it is not for that. I dreamt once that I was there.”
“I tell you I won’t hearken to your dreams, Miss Catherine! I’ll go to bed,” I interrupted again.
She laughed, and held me down; for I made a motion to leave my chair.
“This is nothing,” cried she: “I was only going to say that heaven did not seem to be my home; and I broke my heart with weeping to come back to earth; and the angels were so angry that they flung me out into the middle of the heath on the top of Wuthering Heights; where I woke sobbing for joy. That will do to explain my secret, as well as the other. I’ve no more business to marry Edgar Linton than I have to be in heaven; and if the wicked man in there had not brought Heathcliff so low, I shouldn’t have thought of it. It would degrade me to marry Heathcliff now; so he shall never know how I love him: and that, not because he’s handsome, Nelly, but because he’s more myself than I am. Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same; and Linton’s is as different as a moonbeam from lightning, or frost from fire.”
Ere this speech ended I became sensible of Heathcliff’s presence. Having noticed a slight movement, I turned my head, and saw him rise from the bench, and steal out noiselessly. He had listened till he heard Catherine say it would degrade her to marry him, and then he stayed to hear no further. My companion, sitting on the ground, was prevented by the back of the settle from remarking his presence or departure; but I started, and bade her hush!
“Why?” she asked, gazing nervously round.
“Joseph is here,” I answered, catching opportunely the roll of his cartwheels up the road; “and Heathcliff will come in with him. I’m not sure whether he were not at the door this moment.”
“Oh, he couldn’t overhear me at the door!” said she. “Give me Hareton, while you get the supper, and when it is ready ask me to sup with you. I want to cheat my uncomfortable conscience, and be convinced that Heathcliff has no notion of these things. He has not, has he? He does not know what being in love is!”
“I see no reason that he should not know, as well as you,” I returned; “and if you are his choice, he’ll be the most unfortunate creature that ever was born! As soon as you become Mrs. Linton, he loses friend, and love, and all! Have you considered how you’ll bear the separation, and how he’ll bear to be quite deserted in the world? Because, Miss Catherine—”
“He quite deserted! we separated!” she exclaimed, with an accent of indignation. “Who is to separate us, pray? They’ll meet the fate of Milo! Not as long as I live, Ellen: for no mortal creature. Every Linton on the face of the earth might melt into nothing before I could consent to forsake Heathcliff. Oh, that’s not what I intend—that’s not what I mean! I shouldn’t be Mrs. Linton were such a price demanded! He’ll be as much to me as he has been all his lifetime. Edgar must shake off his antipathy, and tolerate him, at least. He will, when he learns my true feelings towards him. Nelly, I see now you think me a selfish wretch; but did it never strike you that if Heathcliff and I married, we should be beggars? whereas, if I marry Linton I can aid Heathcliff to rise, and place him out of my brother’s power.”
“With your husband’s money, Miss Catherine?” I asked. “You’ll find him not so pliable as you calculate upon: and, though I’m hardly a judge, I think that’s the worst motive you’ve given yet for being the wife of young Linton.”
“It is not,” retorted she; “it is the best! The others were the satisfaction of my whims: and for Edgar’s sake, too, to satisfy him. This is for the sake of one who comprehends in his person my feelings to Edgar and myself. I cannot express it; but surely you and everybody have a notion that there is or should be an existence of yours beyond you. What were the use of my creation, if I were entirely contained here? My great miseries in this world have been Heathcliff’s miseries, and I watched and felt each from the beginning: my great thought in living is himself. If all else perished, and he remained, I should still continue to be; and if all else remained, and he were annihilated, the universe would turn to a mighty stranger: I should not seem a part of it. My love for Linton is like the foliage in the woods: time will change it, I’m well aware, as winter changes the trees. My love for Heathcliff resembles the eternal rocks beneath: a source of little visible delight, but necessary. Nelly, I am Heathcliff! He’s always, always in my mind: not as a pleasure, any more than I am always a pleasure to myself, but as my own being. So don’t talk of our separation again: it is impracticable; and—”
She paused, and hid her face in the folds of my gown; but I jerked it forcibly away. I was out of patience with her folly!
“If I can make any sense of your nonsense, Miss,” I said, “it only goes to convince me that you are ignorant of the duties you undertake in marrying; or else that you are a wicked, unprincipled girl. But trouble me with no more secrets: I’ll not promise to keep them.”
“You’ll keep that?” she asked, eagerly.
“No, I’ll not promise,” I repeated.
She was about to insist, when the entrance of Joseph finished our conversation; and Catherine removed her seat to a corner, and nursed Hareton, while I made the supper. After it was cooked, my fellow-servant and I began to quarrel who should carry some to Mr. Hindley; and we didn’t settle it till all was nearly cold. Then we came to the agreement that we would let him ask, if he wanted any; for we feared particularly to go into his presence when he had been some time alone.
“And how isn’t that nowt comed in fro’ th’ field, be this time? What is he about? girt idle seeght!” demanded the old man, looking round for Heathcliff.
“I’ll call him,” I replied. “He’s in the barn, I’ve no doubt.”
I went and called, but got no answer. On returning, I whispered to Catherine that he had heard a good part of what she said, I was sure; and told how I saw him quit the kitchen just as she complained of her brother’s conduct regarding him. She jumped up in a fine fright, flung Hareton on to the settle, and ran to seek for her friend herself; not taking leisure to consider why she was so flurried, or how her talk would have affected him. She was absent such a while that Joseph proposed we should wait no longer. He cunningly conjectured they were staying away in order to avoid hearing his protracted blessing. They were “ill eneugh for ony fahl manners,” he affirmed. And on their behalf he added that night a special prayer to the usual quarter-of-an-hour’s supplication before meat, and would have tacked another to the end of the grace, had not his young mistress broken in upon him with a hurried command that he must run down the road, and, wherever Heathcliff had rambled, find and make him re-enter directly!
“I want to speak to him, and I must, before I go upstairs,” she said. “And the gate is open: he is somewhere out of hearing; for he would not reply, though I shouted at the top of the fold as loud as I could.”
Joseph objected at first; she was too much in earnest, however, to suffer contradiction; and at last he placed his hat on his head, and walked grumbling forth. Meantime, Catherine paced up and down the floor, exclaiming—“I wonder where he is—I wonder where he can be! What did I say, Nelly? I’ve forgotten. Was he vexed at my bad humour this afternoon? Dear! tell me what I’ve said to grieve him? I do wish he’d come. I do wish he would!”
“What a noise for nothing!” I cried, though rather uneasy myself. “What a trifle scares you! It’s surely no great cause of alarm that Heathcliff should take a moonlight saunter on the moors, or even lie too sulky to speak to us in the hay-loft. I’ll engage he’s lurking there. See if I don’t ferret him out!”
I departed to renew my search; its result was disappointment, and Joseph’s quest ended in the same.
“Yon lad gets war und war!” observed he on re-entering. “He’s left th’ gate at t’ full swing, and Miss’s pony has trodden dahn two rigs o’ corn, and plottered through, raight o’er into t’ meadow! Hahsomdiver, t’ maister ’ull play t’ devil to-morn, and he’ll do weel. He’s patience itsseln wi’ sich careless, offald craters—patience itsseln he is! Bud he’ll not be soa allus—yah’s see, all on ye! Yah mun’n’t drive him out of his heead for nowt!”
“Have you found Heathcliff, you ass?” interrupted Catherine. “Have you been looking for him, as I ordered?”
“I sud more likker look for th’ horse,” he replied. “It ’ud be to more sense. Bud I can look for norther horse nur man of a neeght loike this—as black as t’ chimbley! und Heathcliff’s noan t’ chap to coom at my whistle—happen he’ll be less hard o’ hearing wi’ ye!”
It was a very dark evening for summer: the clouds appeared inclined to thunder, and I said we had better all sit down; the approaching rain would be certain to bring him home without further trouble. However, Catherine would not be persuaded into tranquillity. She kept wandering to and fro, from the gate to the door, in a state of agitation which permitted no repose; and at length took up a permanent situation on one side of the wall, near the road: where, heedless of my expostulations and the growling thunder, and the great drops that began to plash around her, she remained, calling at intervals, and then listening, and then crying outright. She beat Hareton, or any child, at a good passionate fit of crying.
About midnight, while we still sat up, the storm came rattling over the Heights in full fury. There was a violent wind, as well as thunder, and either one or the other split a tree off at the corner of the building: a huge bough fell across the roof, and knocked down a portion of the east chimney-stack, sending a clatter of stones and soot into the kitchen-fire. We thought a bolt had fallen in the middle of us; and Joseph swung on to his knees, beseeching the Lord to remember the patriarchs Noah and Lot, and, as in former times, spare the righteous, though he smote the ungodly. I felt some sentiment that it must be a judgment on us also. The Jonah, in my mind, was Mr. Earnshaw; and I shook the handle of his den that I might ascertain if he were yet living. He replied audibly enough, in a fashion which made my companion vociferate, more clamorously than before, that a wide distinction might be drawn between saints like himself and sinners like his master. But the uproar passed away in twenty minutes, leaving us all unharmed; excepting Cathy, who got thoroughly drenched for her obstinacy in refusing to take shelter, and standing bonnetless and shawlless to catch as much water as she could with her hair and clothes. She came in and lay down on the settle, all soaked as she was, turning her face to the back, and putting her hands before it.
“Well, Miss!” I exclaimed, touching her shoulder; “you are not bent on getting your death, are you? Do you know what o’clock it is? Half-past twelve. Come, come to bed! there’s no use waiting any longer on that foolish boy: he’ll be gone to Gimmerton, and he’ll stay there now. He guesses we shouldn’t wait for him till this late hour: at least, he guesses that only Mr. Hindley would be up; and he’d rather avoid having the door opened by the master.”
“Nay, nay, he’s noan at Gimmerton,” said Joseph. “I’s niver wonder but he’s at t’ bothom of a bog-hoile. This visitation worn’t for nowt, and I wod hev’ ye to look out, Miss—yah muh be t’ next. Thank Hivin for all! All warks togither for gooid to them as is chozzen, and piked out fro’ th’ rubbidge! Yah knaw whet t’ Scripture ses.” And he began quoting several texts, referring us to chapters and verses where we might find them.
I, having vainly begged the wilful girl to rise and remove her wet things, left him preaching and her shivering, and betook myself to bed with little Hareton, who slept as fast as if everyone had been sleeping round him. I heard Joseph read on a while afterwards; then I distinguished his slow step on the ladder, and then I dropped asleep.
Coming down somewhat later than usual, I saw, by the sunbeams piercing the chinks of the shutters, Miss Catherine still seated near the fireplace. The house-door was ajar, too; light entered from its unclosed windows; Hindley had come out, and stood on the kitchen hearth, haggard and drowsy.
“What ails you, Cathy?” he was saying when I entered: “you look as dismal as a drowned whelp. Why are you so damp and pale, child?”
“I’ve been wet,” she answered reluctantly, “and I’m cold, that’s all.”
“Oh, she is naughty!” I cried, perceiving the master to be tolerably sober. “She got steeped in the shower of yesterday evening, and there she has sat the night through, and I couldn’t prevail on her to stir.”
Mr. Earnshaw stared at us in surprise. “The night through,” he repeated. “What kept her up? not fear of the thunder, surely? That was over hours since.”
Neither of us wished to mention Heathcliff’s absence, as long as we could conceal it; so I replied, I didn’t know how she took it into her head to sit up; and she said nothing. The morning was fresh and cool; I threw back the lattice, and presently the room filled with sweet scents from the garden; but Catherine called peevishly to me, “Ellen, shut the window. I’m starving!” And her teeth chattered as she shrank closer to the almost extinguished embers.
“She’s ill,” said Hindley, taking her wrist; “I suppose that’s the reason she would not go to bed. Damn it! I don’t want to be troubled with more sickness here. What took you into the rain?”
“Running after t’ lads, as usuald!” croaked Joseph, catching an opportunity from our hesitation to thrust in his evil tongue. “If I war yah, maister, I’d just slam t’ boards i’ their faces all on ’em, gentle and simple! Never a day ut yah’re off, but yon cat o’ Linton comes sneaking hither; and Miss Nelly, shoo’s a fine lass! shoo sits watching for ye i’ t’ kitchen; and as yah’re in at one door, he’s out at t’other; and, then, wer grand lady goes a-courting of her side! It’s bonny behaviour, lurking amang t’ fields, after twelve o’ t’ night, wi’ that fahl, flaysome divil of a gipsy, Heathcliff! They think I’m blind; but I’m noan: nowt ut t’ soart!—I seed young Linton boath coming and going, and I seed yah” (directing his discourse to me), “yah gooid fur nowt, slattenly witch! nip up and bolt into th’ house, t’ minute yah heard t’ maister’s horse-fit clatter up t’ road.”
“Silence, eavesdropper!” cried Catherine; “none of your insolence before me! Edgar Linton came yesterday by chance, Hindley; and it was I who told him to be off: because I knew you would not like to have met him as you were.”
“You lie, Cathy, no doubt,” answered her brother, “and you are a confounded simpleton! But never mind Linton at present: tell me, were you not with Heathcliff last night? Speak the truth, now. You need not be afraid of harming him: though I hate him as much as ever, he did me a good turn a short time since that will make my conscience tender of breaking his neck. To prevent it, I shall send him about his business this very morning; and after he’s gone, I’d advise you all to look sharp: I shall only have the more humour for you.”
“I never saw Heathcliff last night,” answered Catherine, beginning to sob bitterly: “and if you do turn him out of doors, I’ll go with him. But, perhaps, you’ll never have an opportunity: perhaps, he’s gone.” Here she burst into uncontrollable grief, and the remainder of her words were inarticulate.
Hindley lavished on her a torrent of scornful abuse, and bade her get to her room immediately, or she shouldn’t cry for nothing! I obliged her to obey; and I shall never forget what a scene she acted when we reached her chamber: it terrified me. I thought she was going mad, and I begged Joseph to run for the doctor. It proved the commencement of delirium: Mr. Kenneth, as soon as he saw her, pronounced her dangerously ill; she had a fever. He bled her, and he told me to let her live on whey and water-gruel, and take care she did not throw herself downstairs or out of the window; and then he left: for he had enough to do in the parish, where two or three miles was the ordinary distance between cottage and cottage.
Though I cannot say I made a gentle nurse, and Joseph and the master were no better, and though our patient was as wearisome and headstrong as a patient could be, she weathered it through. Old Mrs. Linton paid us several visits, to be sure, and set things to rights, and scolded and ordered us all; and when Catherine was convalescent, she insisted on conveying her to Thrushcross Grange: for which deliverance we were very grateful. But the poor dame had reason to repent of her kindness: she and her husband both took the fever, and died within a few days of each other.
Our young lady returned to us saucier and more passionate, and haughtier than ever. Heathcliff had never been heard of since the evening of the thunder-storm; and, one day, I had the misfortune, when she had provoked me exceedingly, to lay the blame of his disappearance on her: where indeed it belonged, as she well knew. From that period, for several months, she ceased to hold any communication with me, save in the relation of a mere servant. Joseph fell under a ban also: he would speak his mind, and lecture her all the same as if she were a little girl; and she esteemed herself a woman, and our mistress, and thought that her recent illness gave her a claim to be treated with consideration. Then the doctor had said that she would not bear crossing much; she ought to have her own way; and it was nothing less than murder in her eyes for any one to presume to stand up and contradict her. From Mr. Earnshaw and his companions she kept aloof; and tutored by Kenneth, and serious threats of a fit that often attended her rages, her brother allowed her whatever she pleased to demand, and generally avoided aggravating her fiery temper. He was rather too indulgent in humouring her caprices; not from affection, but from pride: he wished earnestly to see her bring honour to the family by an alliance with the Lintons, and as long as she let him alone she might trample on us like slaves, for aught he cared! Edgar Linton, as multitudes have been before and will be after him, was infatuated: and believed himself the happiest man alive on the day he led her to Gimmerton Chapel, three years subsequent to his father’s death.
Much against my inclination, I was persuaded to leave Wuthering Heights and accompany her here. Little Hareton was nearly five years old, and I had just begun to teach him his letters. We made a sad parting; but Catherine’s tears were more powerful than ours. When I refused to go, and when she found her entreaties did not move me, she went lamenting to her husband and brother. The former offered me munificent wages; the latter ordered me to pack up: he wanted no women in the house, he said, now that there was no mistress; and as to Hareton, the curate should take him in hand, by-and-by. And so I had but one choice left: to do as I was ordered. I told the master he got rid of all decent people only to run to ruin a little faster; I kissed Hareton, said good-by; and since then he has been a stranger: and it’s very queer to think it, but I’ve no doubt he has completely forgotten all about Ellen Dean, and that he was ever more than all the world to her and she to him!
* * * * *
At this point of the housekeeper’s story she chanced to glance towards the time-piece over the chimney; and was in amazement on seeing the minute-hand measure half-past one. She would not hear of staying a second longer: in truth, I felt rather disposed to defer the sequel of her narrative myself. And now that she is vanished to her rest, and I have meditated for another hour or two, I shall summon courage to go also, in spite of aching laziness of head and limbs.
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Manga the Week of 5/25/22
SEAN: It’s only the end of May but the heat here is making it feel like mid-July. What about the manga? Well…
The debut from Yen On is Warlords of Sigrdrifa Rusalka, a light novel based on the popular anime series. As with a lot of other anime series, humanity is under siege and only badass but also very attractive women can save us.
ASH: I mean, I do like badass women…
SEAN: Also from Yen On: The Girl I Saved on the Train Turned Out to Be My Childhood Friend 2, High School DxD 7, High School Prodigies Have It Easy Even in Another World! 6, I’ve Been Killing Slimes for 300 Years and Maxed Out My Level 12, Magical Girl Raising Project 13, The Saga of Tanya the Evil 10, and A Sister’s All You Need 12.
Yen Press had a lot of its print releases which had been delayed due to the ongoing problem with getting print books done come out next week, so we have SEVEN debuts. Let’s break them down.
I Got a Cheat Skill in Another World and Became Unrivaled in The Real World, Too (Isekai de Cheat Skill o Te ni Shita Ore wa, Genjitsu Sekai o mo Musou Suru – Level Up wa Jinsei o Kaeta) had its light novel mentioned in last week’s Manga the Week of, so I can’t even make the same sad snarky jokes. It runs in Dengeki Comic Regulus.
In the Land of Leadale (Leadale no Daichi nite) runs in the horribly titled Dengeki Playstation, and is, of course, based on the light novels Yen is also releasing.
Let’s Go Karaoke! (Karaoke Iko!) is a one-shot manga from Comic Beam. A boy from the school choir ends up with a scary job… he’s giving voice lessons to a yakuza! This is apparently not BL but is BL-adjacent.
MICHELLE: Hm. This is the first on the list to interest me even moderately.
ANNA: I mean, I enjoy singing, BL-adjacent manga, and yakuza.
ASH: Same, same!
MELINDA: Okay, what, I think I need this. Like. Delivered directly to my brain.
SEAN: Lost Lad London is also from Comic Beam, and is a mystery about a detective and a college student trying to track down a murderer. This is award winning AND Comic Beam, so even more of a must-read than usual.
MICHELLE: Okay, now this is up my street.
ANNA: Also curious about this!
ASH: Me, too!
MELINDA: Oooooooh.
SEAN: The Magical Revolution of the Reincarnated Princess and the Genius Young Lady (Tensei Oujo to Tensai Reijou no Mahou Kakumei) is based on a light novel I really enjoyed. I wonder how the manga compares? It runs in Dengeki Maoh. Lotsa Dengeki this week.
MonsTABOO is a Big Gangan series about a girl who recklessly tries to find monsters – reckless ever since her mother was killed by one. That makes it all the more weird when she comes across one, she asks to date the monster instead.
ASH: I am at least vaguely curious.
SEAN: The Wolf Never Sleeps (Ookami wa Nemuranai) is from Young Ace Up!, and it’s an isekai, but at least he’s a grizzled veteran and swordsman who already fights monsters, and not random Japanese dude.
Yen Press also has Cheeky Brat 3, Cirque Du Freak: The Manga Omnibus 6, The Dark History of the Reincarnated Villainess 5, The Devil Is a Part-Timer! 18, Final Fantasy Lost Stranger 7, Karneval 13, Mieruko-chan 5, Murciélago 19, Play It Cool, Guys 3, Smokin’ Parade 10 (the final volume), and Trinity Seven 25.
Viz has some titles out this week, likely due to those same printing issues. We see Fullmetal Alchemist: Fullmetal Edition 17, JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure: Part 5–Golden Wind 4, Star Wars: The High Republic: Edge of Balance 2, and Urusei Yatsura 14. And, digitally, WITCH WATCH 2, which I continue to shill for.
ASH: Still need to give that series a try (and catch up on a few of these others, too.)
SEAN: Tokyopop has a new BL one-shot, this one from Gush. Tomorrow, Make Me Yours (Ashita Kimi no Mono ni Shite) is about an average boy who loves the cool, confident kid in his class. Sadly, a girl has a crush on said cool kid, so he tries to distance himself. But when he does confess, the other guy does as well!
Seven Seas debuts The Weakest Contestant of All Space and Time (Zenjikuu Senbatsu Saijaku Saiteihen Ketteisen), a survival manga that runs in Comic Earth Star. There are other interesting points about it, but survival manga, so meh.
ASH: I can sometimes go for an intriguing survival manga.
SEAN: Seven Seas also has Headhunted to Another World: From Salaryman to Big Four! 3, The Masterful Cat Is Depressed Again Today 4, and Seaside Stranger 3.
MICHELLE: I really need to read Seaside Stranger.
ASH: Likewise.
SEAN: One Peace Books gives us Hinamatsuri 15.
The print debut for Kodansha Manga is Phantom of the Idol (Kami Kuzu ☆ Idol), a Zero-Sum Online title about a lazy, surly idol and his meeting with a peppy, happy, and dead girl.
MICHELLE: Well, I am sold by this description.
ANNA: This sounds amazing.
MELINDA: Oh, hello.
SEAN: We also get the first volume of A Silent Voice Complete Collector’s Edition, which collects the first half of the series in a large hardcover which also has drafts, interviews, and other bonus content.
ASH: I’m really looking forward to this release and the extra content; the series is so good.
SEAN: Also in print: Cardcaptor Sakura: Clear Card 11 and The Seven Deadly Sins: Four Knights of the Apocalypse 3.
MICHELLE: I legitimately did not realize that Clear Card was still going.
ANNA: Me too, I’m just going to sit here in a corner and lament never getting an ending to X/1999.
MICHELLE: FOR REAL.
ASH: Right??
MELINDA: *heavy sigh*
SEAN: Two digital debuts. Koigakubo-kun Stole My First Time (Koigakubo-kun ni wa Hajimete wo Ubawaremashita), a Palcy shoujo series about a gamer girl who is rather annoyed that all her gamer friends are getting married and having kids. Is her hot new work colleague the answer? This is by the author of With the Sheikh in His Harem.
Our Fake Marriage: Rosé (Usokon Rosé) is, of course, a spinoff of Our Fake Marriage, and runs in Ane Friend. Our heroine is determined to reject her family’s attempts to set her up with this guy… but…
Also digital: Back When You Called Us Devils 13 (OK, *this* is the final volume), DAYS 29, Harem Marriage 17, Nighttime for Just Us Two 2, Otherworldly Munchkin: Let’s Speedrun the Dungeon with Only 1 HP! 5, Saint Young Men 18, Shojo Fight 18 (we seem to have caught up, given this is 11 months after 17), What I Love About You 9 (the final volume), and WIND BREAKER 2.
MICHELLE: How did Harem Marriage get up to volume seventeen already?!
SEAN: Kaiten Books gives us the 6th manga volume of Loner Life in Another World.
Lotsa print from J-Novel Club. We get An Archdemon’s Dilemma: How to Love Your Elf Bride 12, Ascendance of a Bookworm 12, both Vol. 2 and 3 of The Faraway Paladin’s novel, How NOT to Summon a Demon Lord 14, I Shall Survive Using Potions’s 7th manga volume, Infinite Dendrogram 15, My Friend’s Little Sister Has It In For Me! 4, Tearmoon Empire 5, and The Unwanted Undead Adventurer’s 5th manga volume.
ASH: I feel like just got my hands on the first volume of Faraway Paladin!
SEAN: As for digital, we get Altina the Sword Princess 14 (not the final volume, but the series has not had a new book in years), Chillin’ in Another World with Level 2 Super Cheat Powers 5, I’ll Never Set Foot in That House Again! 4, Lazy Dungeon Master 16, Perry Rhodan NEO 8, Prison Life is Easy for a Villainess 2 (the final volume), and Private Tutor to the Duke’s Daughter 3.
Ghost Ship gives us Manga Diary of a Male Porn Star 2 and The Witches of Adamas 2.
And we get Airship, which has, in print, Kuma Kuma Kuma Bear 10.
And digitally we get Kuma Kuma Kuma Bear 11 and Loner Life in Another World 2.
Oooof. A double dose of Loner Life. That’ll be fun. What else are we having?
By: Sean Gaffney
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Hello, life is hard. I bought a thimble and made another a washcloth.
#im still crafting#but its hard to keep up with posting regularly#tags are hard#but if i dont do it no one will find my stuff#and how will i shill my shot if no one finds me#where will my validation come from if no one can find me#im just in a mood and shouting into the void makes me feel somewhat better#anyway im not dead and im still doing stuff#ill try and get a queue going at least#anyway heres some tags#quarantine crafts#crafts#yarn crafts#knitting#shortrowknitting#finished object#not for sale yet#but soon#they dodnt come out the way i wanted them to
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THE ARRANGEMENT – SEALING THE DEAL
Featuring: Tommy Shelby x Reader
Words: 3522
Warning: Sugar Daddy, Submission, Smut, BDSM
Notes: I will use this headline to write more smutty encounters between Tommy and the Reader. But they will get a bit heavier in the BDSM department. So if this is not your thing, don’t keep reading.
Requested: Yes
Tag List:
@lilymurphy03 @deefigs @theflamecrystal @chrisevanshoeee @desperate-and-broken @weepingstudentfishhorse @captivatedbycillianmurphy @fookingshelby @livinginfantaxy @rosey1981 @atomicsoulcollecto @peakyboyslover @nerdy4itall @elenavampire21 @hanster1998 @mariapaiva13 @fairypitou @harry-is-my-sunflower
………
The Proposal
Today marks the day you’ve been working for at the Garrison exactly one year. A job you found by sheer accident when you moved to Birmingham.
You had no money when you fled Northern Ireland and were in need of employment. Your parents were involved with the IRA and with a well-known surname like yours, it was difficult for you to find employment.
You always tried hard to disassociate yourself from your parents with whom you did not agree on political matters. They were terrorists and you stood elsewhere on the Irish question.
When you arrived in Birmingham, you were offered a job at the local whorehouse. You declined. The last thing you wanted was to lose your virginity to some filthy married patron who paid you as little as 2 shillings for your services.
When you saw a job advertised in the paper at the local pub, you applied. This is when you met Grace Shelby who hired you.
Grace was there by sheer accident herself, arranging the new fit-out for the pub. She was Thomas Shelby’s wife and no longer worked herself.
She was a kind hearted woman and had been in your shoes many years ago. No one other than Grace believed that you would last in a job like this. But here you were, still working behind the bar and serving alcohol to drunk men.
To your disappointment, Grace had passed away six months ago and your husband Tommy has never been the same since.
For the first four months following her death, he got himself and his family into lot of trouble. The majority of his family members were serving prison time for a robbery. But not Tommy. He was working on their release while continuing to build his family’s wealth.
Ever since their arrest, he attended the Garrison frequently, most often late at night after he had visited one of the up market brothels owned by him.
Of course, he didn’t tell you that, but it was obvious to you. It was his way of coping with life and to stay focused.
You talked a lot. He would often be the last patron at the Garrison and ask you to drink with him. You didn’t drink much, but would allow yourself a glass of whiskey on occasion.
Tonight, was one of these nights where Tommy and you were alone, just talking and drinking.
He walked into the Garrison at 11 o’clock, greeted you and ordered a whiskey.
‘You are early tonight Mr Shelby’ you said.
‘Well, Y/N, things have not been going my way today’ he responded.
‘Do you want to talk about it?’ you asked.
‘I rather not’ he responded.
‘Alright, no talking then’ you said with a smile.
‘Do you have a man in your life Y/N?’ he then asked all of a sudden. His question took you by surprise.
‘I do not. Never had. Why are you asking?’ you wondered.
‘No reason. Just curious why a woman like you works in a place like this’ he said bluntly.
‘It pays well, I get good tips. I had a job offer from one of the mistresses at one of your brothels. I declined. I rather serve 50 drunk men a night than fuck ten of them’ you laughed.
‘This seems like a reasonable choice’ Tommy chuckled.
‘So, you ever get bored of them? Knowing that sex is no more than a transaction to them and you are no more than a client must be frustrating’ you asked.
‘How much whiskey did you have to drink tonight Y/N, eh?’ Tommy asked sheepishly, being surprised by the directness of your question.
‘More than a little. It’s my birthday’ you laughed.
‘That’s what I thought. Happy Birthday Y/N’ Tommy said.
‘Thank you, Mr Shelby, but you didn’t answer my question’ you smirked.
‘The good thing about prostitutes is that they do exactly what you pay them to do. They fuck. They don’t expect feelings from you, just money. You are right, it is a simple transaction’ Tommy said.
‘Sounds boring and repetitive. Wouldn’t you rather have someone consistent? The same skilled woman every time, someone who gets to learn exactly how to please you, always around right at your disposal and with no strings attached?’ you asked.
‘I’ve read that, in France, rich businessmen and politicians keep themselves mistresses rather than going to brothels. It’s discrete and it’s safe. The men provide their mistresses with accommodation and visit them for sex whenever they please’ you added.
‘A mistress, eh?’ Where do you think I would find such a woman Y/N? Tommy joked.
‘Well Mr Shelby, I know of someone who would be very interested to come to some sort of arrangement’ you smirked.
‘You realise that I am about twice your age?’ Tommy asked sheepishly, knowing exactly that you were talking about yourself becoming his mistress.
‘I do and this makes it even more interesting’ you suggested.
‘You are quite young Y/N. How many men have you been with?’ Tommy asked
‘None’ you said, causing Tommy to choke on his whiskey.
‘No’ he said firmly. ‘I don’t do virgins Y/N. It’s not my thing’ Tommy added.
‘Think about it, I am like a clean canvas. You can teach me exactly how you want to be pleased’ you smirked.
‘You are clearly drunk Y/N. I shall drive you home’ Tommy said.
And so he did. After you closed up the pub, he drove you to your apartment which was located in one of the worst areas of Birmingham.
As he drove you home, you brought up your proposal again and Tommy appeared more open to consider it at this point. But not tonight, not with you having been influenced by alcohol.
You were an attractive woman, clean and easy to talk to. You worked in the Garrison for a year and he knew you would be discrete and he could trust you.
‘Come to my office tomorrow at noon if you decide that this is what you want and then we talk, eh’ Tommy said as he pulled up in front of your apartment.
You nodded before saying goodnight to him.
The Arrangement
The next day, you attended Tommy’s office as instructed.
‘Y/N, I am surprised to see you’ Tommy smirked as you walked inside his office.
‘You thought I wasn’t serious, didn’t you?’ you smirked as you sat down in front of his desk.
‘Let’s just say, you surprised me’ he said with a grin.
Tommy then went on to ask you what you expect from your arrangement if he was going ahead and agree with it.
You didn’t have many demands other than being looked after financially.
Tommy then advised you that you might change your mind if you know what his desires were.
Thomas Shelby was no ordinary man and he didn’t enjoy ordinary sex, which is one of the reasons he was getting bored with the prostitutes.
He was looking for what some might call a submissive. He enjoyed authority, even in the bedroom.
He wanted to be in charge, always.
With that in mind, you agreed. You were ready to be his and sealed the deal with a passionate kiss.
‘Alright, it’s a deal Y/N. But, to ensure that you understand, you belong to me. You are my property and you are not to fuck anyone else, understood?’ Tommy said as he pulled his lips away from yours, his hand holding onto your hair tightly.
‘Yes Mr Shelby’ you said, biting your lip.
‘You will be available when I need you to be available and you will submit. Is that understood?’ Tommy then said.
‘Yes Mr Shelby’ you answered before his lips met yours again in a hasty kiss.
‘Good. Now, since you are a virgin, the first time, I will take it easy on you’ Tommy said as he kissed your neck, taking in the sweet scent of your perfume.
‘Here are the keys to your apartment. 15 Watery Lane. I will visit you tonight at 8 o’clock and this is what I expect you to wear. Nothing else’ Tommy said as he handed you a small bag.
‘Before I come over, I want you to think of a safe word which you can use at any time’ he added, causing you to nod. He had explained the premise of a safe word to you earlier when you discussed what he would expect from you.
Sealing the Deal
Later that evening, after you settled into your new apartment, you were waiting for Tommy in nothing but the black lace panties he gave you.
He was right on time, letting himself into your apartment at 8 o’clock.
‘Do you like what you see Mr Shelby?’ you asked as he walked through the door.
‘I do, very much so’ Tommy said before he kissed you and ran his hands over your breasts and down to your stomach, making you moan.
He continued the gentle gestures for approximately five minutes, kissing you gently and exploring every inch of your body.
‘What have you decided on for a safe word Y/N?’ Tommy asked after he broke the last kiss.
‘Red’ you said.
‘Red. Very well.’ Tommy said before taking off his jacket, waistcoat and gun holster and placing them all onto one of the armchairs.
He then walked back over to you and gave you one more quick kiss.
‘Now be a good girl and get on your knees. And Y/N... eye contact. I want you looking at me’ Tommy said as he pulled your hair downward to bring you to kneel in front of him.
He kept his hand wrapped in your hair behind your head but clutched onto your skull tightly. You were about to be Tommy’s, in complete submission.
With his other hand he unzipped his pants and slowly pulled out his impressive length. You gasped. This is the first time you saw a man’s most intimate parts right in front of you.
‘Open your mouth’ Tommy instructed as you looked up into his blue eyes.
You obliged and Tommy pulled your head forward and forced your lips around the head of his erect cock.
Your hands shot up to his thighs to try to hold him back but he charged forward, making you take the first few inches of his length into your mouth.
You closed your eyes, trying instantly to focus and control your gag reflexes. There you thought that he was going to take it easy on you. If this was him taking it easy, what would he otherwise be like you wondered.
‘Look at me’ he instructed as he began to notice your eyes fall close.
Your lips were completely stretched around the girth of his shaft as he pushed his cock deeper into your mouth.
Your ravishing eyes opened and looked up at him, his face full of want and desire for you.
As you looked at him you started growing more comfortable as the minutes passed.
You relaxed your grip on his legs and began opening your throat a little for his intrusion.
You kept eye contact whenever you weren’t suppressing a gag reflex. Your mouth soon began to move with his rhythm while your tongue was stimulating him.
After about five minutes Tommy released his hold on your hair and reached down to your breasts, playing with your already hard nipples. You moaned around his cook as he stimulated your breasts and the wetness began to grow in between your legs.
You bopped your head up and down his length, trying to take as much of it into your mouth as you could.
Your hands soon joined your mouth, and stimulated the end of his shaft which didn’t make into your mouth.
‘Is this what you wanted, Mr Shelby?’ you asked.
Tommy nodded politely in between moans, running his fingers through your hair again.
He pushed you down on his cock a few more times, making you take him deeper than before, while he looked down, admiring the view.
‘Good girl, that’s it, take it all in’ he groaned as he guided your head.
You struggled, finding it difficult to breath, but you obliged.
The sight of you taking him like this drove him crazy and, after several more strokes, he pulled your head back up and, without warning, re-entered your mouth with vigor and dominance.
You squirmed below him and your hands moved back to his upper thighs, attempting to press him back.
But Tommy had other ideas and swatted your hands away from his legs.
‘Cross your wrists behind your back Y/N’ Tommy ordered.
‘Tommy’ you pleaded.
‘I make the rules Y/N. You don't get to resist. If you want me to stop, use your safe word’ he said.
With reluctance, you placed your wrists behind your back. Some twisted part within yourself enjoyed this, him taking you like this. In your mind, you were nowhere near at your limits.
Just like this, Tommy took hold of your hair again and thrusted forward into your open mouth, deeper and deeper until he bottomed out in your throat.
You could no longer retain eye contact and he didn’t seem to care as he continued to thrust into your mouth a few more times until he decided to relent.
He soon released the grip on your hair and made you look up at him.
‘Come up, you’ve done well’ he said as he pulled you up towards him and pulled you in for a kiss.
His hands moved in between your legs.
‘So fucking wet eh’ he said as he ran his hand over your soaked panties.
‘Take them off’ he instructed and you didn’t resist and pulled them off in a haste.
‘Now Love, I think it’s time for us to sort out this little issue for yours, eh?’ Tommy said with a smirk.
‘Yes Mr Shelby’ you said nervously, knowing that he was about to take your virginity.
While you always thought about this moment to be romantic, you were at the point where you just wanted it to be over with. You were soaking for him and you wanted him to fuck you just the way he wanted. You wanted to be taken by him, right then and there, regardless of the pain.
‘Shall we go to the bedroom?’ you asked.
‘No Love, right here will do just fine’ Tommy said as he turned your ass on to the edge of the kitchen room table, and gently pushed your back down on to it.
His eyes gazed over your perfect body, taking in the view of your breasts and your soaking wet mound.
‘Open your legs’ he instructed just as he lowered himself in between them.
You weren’t sure what he was doing and watched him nervously as, all of a sudden, he dipped his tongue into your wet slit.
You squealed in surprise, but it was already too late to plead for him not to, his tongue was already murdering your senses.
He sucked and licked over your clit just as you could feel two fingers enter you.
You expected pain, but it was nothing but please when he began to slowly thrust them in and of you.
‘Oh god yes’ you moaned as Tommy worked his magic on you.
You weren’t sure why he was doing this. Wasn’t it all about his pleasure and his pleasure alone? But, when you looked at him, he seemed to be enjoying this. You squirmed helplessly beneath him.
As he circled his tongue over your clit over and over again and carefully pushed two of his fingers in and out of you, you could feel an unfamiliar sensation build up in your stomach.
Soon you we trembling to your own unbidden orgasm. You were already aroused beyond your own redemption.
The intensity or your climax was so all encompassing, that your muscles from your stomach to your knees, spasmed and contracted. Your legs slammed together trapping Tommy’s head in a wrestlers type grip, and his eyes bulged until you relaxed a little.
As your orgasm washed over you, you could feel Tommy grin against your mound.
‘I think you are ready to take my cock now Love’ he said after you came down from your high and he positioned himself in between your spread legs.
Within seconds, Tommy hooked his hands under your calves and lifted them to rest on his shoulders. Now he was ready, you were flat out on your new kitchen room table, and in no position to refuse him.
He held your knees apart. and maneuvered his cock to your bright wet slit. He rubbed it up and down a couple of times before commencing his intrusion.
‘Don’t worry Love, I will be gentle since it’s your first time’ Tommy said as he pressed forward slightly and pushed his cock into your small, warm, and unbelievably tight pussy.
Despite his best efforts, you moaned and screamed at the same time at the intrusion but there was nothing you could do, not now.
‘You can take it Love. I know you can. If you want me stop, use your safe word’ Tommy said as he pushed into you further.
You moaned loudly has his length invaded you and pushed past your barrier, causing you to let out another moan and scream until, finally, he was completely inside of you. Tommy had just about split you in two and you had never felt like this before, you were full and he could feel your body trying to get out of the way
Tommy let you adjust to his size and then began pulling on your hips, before thrusting into you gently.
‘God you are so fucking tight Y/N’ he moaned as, slowly, you began to relax completely.
After several gentle thrusts to, Tommy pressed your knees back together and then he pulled out and rammed it back in again.
You cried out once more, but this time not in pain but, instead, in pure pleasure. You felt him running up and down your love channel and it felt better than anything else you had experienced before. There had been no event in your life that could have prepared you for this.
‘Oh my god Tommy, please make me cum again’ you begged him.
Tommy grinned and didn’t care to correct you on your language.
He began to fuck you mercilessly and rode you past your pain into a world of pleasure.
The unassailable flush of desire and the insane delight of him being inside of you overcame everything you were, or ever had been. As he thrusted in and you over and over again, harder with each stroke, you got lost in the grip of irrepressible lust, a powerful inarticulate lust.
It wasn’t long until he fucked you just the way he wanted, hard and fast. You were ready for it and you took it, every single bit of it.
And, just like that, you could feel another even more intense orgasm wash over you.
‘Good girl, cum around my cock’ he moaned as he picked up his speed and pounded into you.
With one loud moan, your walls contracted and your quivered beneath him. You were a shaking mess and screamed his name as you rode out your orgasm.
Just as you came down from your high, he pulled out of you. He was not done with you yet.
Without letting you recover, he pushed you back onto your knees in front of him.
‘You know what to do’ he said just as he pushed his cock back into your mouth firmly while grabbing onto your hair.
This time, he held your head in place while he began thrusting his cock in and out of your mouth.
Your eyes shut again instantly and unintentionally in order to deal with the gag reflex.
‘Look at me’ he instructed and you obliged, opening your eyes and looking towards his face.
‘I'm going to cum in your mouth’ he said, causing you to nod.
‘I hope this was understood, but I expect you to swallow’ he added and, just like this, with several more thrusts, his warm cum spurted into the back of your throat.
You gagged again, trying hard to allow his warm seed to run down your throat as he thrusted into you until, finally, he came to a hold.
You licked the last of his cum from his hard cock, making sure to swallow every single drop.
‘You did well Y/N’ Tommy said with still laboured breathing.
‘Thank you, Mr Shelby’ you said as you stood up and had a drink from his glass of whiskey.
‘I will see you on Friday, same time’ Tommy said as he zipped up his pants and buckled up his belt.
‘Friday it is’ you grinned with excitement before he gave you a passionate kiss.
‘We will try something new then and I won’t be as gentle with you then’ he said.
‘I am looking forward to it’ you winked as you said goodbye to him.
#tommy shelby smut#Tommy Shelby#tommy shelby x reader#tommy shelby imagine#thomas shelby#thomas shelby smut#thomas shelby x reader#thomas shelby imagine#Peaky Blinders#peaky blinder imagine#peaky blinders fanfic#peaky blinders imagine
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In honor of ur old username may she rest in piece. Do u have any mass effect fic recs
oh!!! you come into my inbox and ask me for my mass effect recs? :o
they are many. they are spectacular. they are occasionally (often?) NSFW. okay. let's do this. let's go. if you have a specific pairing, please come back and i'll try to be normaler <3
OKAY
i'll assume you're here because you've read my own mass effect fics, but i guess i'll start there? xd
i'm really proud of lionhearted and i hope to return to it soon. f!shrios, thane lives AU - evangeline shepard is ripped from the grave and unsure if she's the same woman that she was before. and she's right to worry. ongoing, because i'm the worst, but i've written through me2!
i also have a few assorted one-shots:
metamorph (f!shrex ft. smut)
help wanted. (tali/miranda)
exposure (f!shrios pwp)
alright. i'm done self-shilling. have some unbelievable work by people more talented than me.
Sound the Clarion by AmberPenglass
f!Shakarian and an all-time comfort fic. first contact AUs are basically the whole reason i'm alive, and this is one for the history books. shepard infiltrates the vakarian household as a... servant? i guess LOL to make contact with a human resistance cell on palaven. there's some squicky power dynamic stuff in here, so be aware of that going in. smut in here also! complete.
like a falcon in the dive by @spookyvalentine
i'm thinking about mercy shepard like. well. basically all the time? these are a couple of genfics and val has UNBELIEVABLE character writing. mercy is vibrant, and they pop out of my computer screen and into my heart whenever i read these fics. ongoing series, but the fics themselves are complete.
When The Sun Sets On The Dune, You Know Where To Find Me by WonderAss
this fic. dude. god. okay.
f!shreegar. is that anything. it's shepard and kal'reegar and i've reread it probably four times. kal'reegar joins the crew in me2. he's dealing with some stuff. this shepard absolutely rules. nsfw in here! complete.
An Atom Changed by 35g
shrios. this fic grabbed me by the throat and didn't let up. 14k words of holding my breath. tw for some general existential dread. complete.
Relay Monument Incident by Kahika
what's. what's the name for garrus and ashley? vakilliams? gashley is WAY worse. garrus and ashley rip in this series and i will recommend it to anyone not immediately put off by rarepair sensibilities. there's smut in here! ongoing series, but each fic is complete.
Queen's Gambit Accepted by RenWritesStuff/FahRENheit2006
f!shaynor. oh, this fic. deep breath. i'm normal. i've always had a soft spot for samantha traynor. ongoing, but it's 200k words of exquisite writing. there be smut! ongoing.
Trajectory by ad_astra42
f!shakarian. first contact AU. exquisite. astounding. so, so worth the read. garrus is taken captive, and well, you can imagine how things go from there. all our favorite marines are there, and many of our favorite turians as well. shepard and garrus communicate with ASL for a significant chunk of the fic, and the whole fic is written quite deftly. nsfw occasionally. complete.
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Impromptu Review
Thanks for editing this one goes to momirene and Worldsover, and for helpful beta reading feedback from them and one dork who wants to remain anonymous.
Tags: TheLounge, Red Velvet, SNSD (Girl's Generation), Joy, Sunny, loneliness, potential traumatization of cats, a hoard of hell-themed sex toys, a strap on, a butt plug with Jiu's face in it, and bisexual problems.
The front door of Sunny’s apartment swung open so fast that Joy felt a breeze from the vacuum it left behind.
“Joy! You’re here!”
Joy blinked. “Yeah, I said I would come over.”
“It’s been so long since we’ve met up! Come in, come in!”
“It’s only been like a month though.”
Sunny grabbed Joy’s hands and pulled her through the doorway. “It feels like so much longer than that!”
Joy smiled and took her shoes off in the entryway. “You seem more excited than usual.”
“What? How so?”
“Well for one,” Joy said, pointing at the kitchen, “It looks like you prepared for a whole party in here.”
The kitchen’s island was covered in plates of snacks and several variations of alcoholic beverages. Additionally, Sunny was noticeably sweaty, like she had just run around the house preparing for guests. Joy figured it would be best not to bring that up.
“What? No. That? That’s… yeah, that’s a lot of food, isn’t it?” Sunny’s posture drooped, as if she’d already expended all of her energy on her greeting.
Joy pulled her into a side hug. Her height served to straighten Sunny back up. “What’s going on, girl?”
Sunny sighed and leaned her head on Joy’s chest. “I dunno. I’m just excited. Haven’t had a good social night any time recently.”
“Aw! But what about these cutie kitties?”
Sogeum popped her head out from behind the wall and gave Joy her signature droopy, grim stare without so much as a meow. As soon as Joy shuffled in her direction though, she turned and went back into the living room.
“Well, you know. Can’t really have a real conversation with the cats.”
Joy hummed her agreement and stepped into the kitchen. “I’m always happy to talk to you Sunny. They don’t call SM a family for nothing.”
Sunny groaned, loudly.
“Um. Okay,” Joy said when Sunny didn’t elaborate. “Not a family? Just a bunch of really close friends?”
“Yeah, that’ll work better. Not a fan of the family motif.”
Joy picked up a cracker and chomped down. “Gonna… explain? Family is normally a positive thing, isn’t it?”
Sunny grabbed a bottle of wine and yanked the cork out. “Yeah, totally, for sure. Hey, do you like Chardonnay?”
“I…” Joy didn’t want to skirt around whatever issue Sunny was having, but was well-aware of her stubbornness. “I sure do.”
As fancy glasses of white wine were generously poured, Joy made note of Sunny’s slow, unsteady movements. She worried that perhaps Sunny had already started drinking, or wasn’t getting enough sleep.
* * *
“Can you believe that, Joy?”
“No way. It’s just inhuman.”
“Completely! It’s not like green onions are suddenly more expensive to dry out!”
The conversation had started with gossip and cheese snacking when the sun was high. As the sun set, the discussion shifted to the price of instant meals, and the snack plates were all but empty. Joy had to fight the constant urge to fall asleep, as the topics were never much more interesting than that. But she let Sunny lead the talking as much as possible.
Joy was simply relieved that Sunny called her over before diving into her liquor storage. “You should start a petition to regulate the price. I’d be the first to sign it.”
Sunny’s tipsy grin matched Joy’s. Though the alcohol consumption had been slow-going, they had been doing it for several hours. “Oh that would be great press. ‘Washed up idol upset with ramen manufacturers.’”
With an exaggerated roll of the eyes, Joy pointed at a set of boxes in the corner of the living room, currently being used as a lookout tower by Sogeum. “You’re not washed up yet. Look at all of those sponsor gifts. Those weren’t here last time I came over… Wait, they weren’t, were they?”
Sunny giggled. “No, they’re, uh… new.”
Their corporate sponsors weren’t something that Joy, Sunny, or any of the other SM idols discussed often. There were usually so many vying for their attention that it was pointless trying to keep track. But Joy reasoned, somewhat drunkenly, that talking about it might be therapeutic to someone so down on their social status. “Who are they from, anyway?”
A blush deepened the red of Sunny’s already tipsy-glowing cheeks. “Uh… Nobody. Just a regular sponsor, ya know?”
Joy grinned. “Oh, come on. You can tell me. What am I gonna do? Call a press conference to tell the tabloids who’s contributing to your paycheck?”
Sunny rolled her eyes. She shot off the couch, spilling a drop or two of her wine in the process. From Joy’s naturally higher perspective, Sunny didn’t seem that much taller. “Fine,” she said, wobbling, “but you better not make fun of me.”
“I’ll make fun of you for other reasons, like how much I love you, bitch!” Joy blinked at her own shouting. She didn’t know when the alcohol had hit her, but she was beginning to think that she was a little more intoxicated than she previously thought.
Thankfully, the joviality in her voice seemed to encourage Sunny to play along. She set her wine on the coffee table and picked one of the smaller boxes off of the pile. “Disclosure first! We haven’t agreed to any deals yet. They sent me this stuff to try to convince me to shill it. I didn’t reach out to them.”
Joy waved the disclosure off like a mosquito, but Sunny still tossed the box in her direction. The weight inside of it was awkwardly distributed. Joy attempted to catch it, but it wound up ricocheting off the tips of her fingers and nearly knocking over an open, mostly full bottle of soju.
“The fuck is in this thing?”
“I’ve got some ideas but I just know who it’s from. Open it and find out.”
Joy tore into the box with no regard for the care that went into the packaging, which itself was surprisingly discreet. A smirk cracked her lips when she thought about what sorts of deliveries required such discretion. But the smirk faded right away when she got a view of the inside and realized that the packager apparently had the same idea.
Inside was a pair of plastic sheets wrapped asymmetrically around a roughly water bottle sized blob of blood red silicone. A small bit of pink cardboard advertised it as a five-speed, rotation-simulating, self-cleaning, pattern-switching, USB-charging, automatically-lubricating, remote-controlled vibrator with a speaker at the bottom for replicating a set of desired moans and a specialized charging dock.
Joy cleared her throat and stared at the horrifically fancy dildo, and its label, “Dante’s Dive,” unsure if she should toss it back to Sunny, considering it was clearly a personal item.
Sunny reached into what was left of the box, procuring a pretty little decorated card. “Dear Ms. Lee, we at Second Ring Inc were very pleased to hear your impromptu review of our products on a recent episode of ‘Welp, I Guess We’re Talking About This Now’ and wished to send you some additional items to show our appreciation. These are in no way a request for further public review,” Sunny was briefly interrupted by Joy’s disapproving snort, “but should you be interested in a partnership, we have included a phone number at which I, the chief executive officer, Lee Youngjoon, may be reached. Optionally, my username--”
Joy missed a few words as she was shocked by the extreme sound emitted by the vibrator when she pushed a button on the remote control.
“--is ‘worldsover’. As you know, Second Ring specializes in sexual wellness products, of which we’ve sent you a wide variety. They can be enjoyed by couples, or can serve as a fantastic outlet for power singles like yourself…”
Sunny trailed off. Joy was afraid she knew what was coming. “Damn, Sunny. You say so much as three words on national television and they scramble to get right up on your ass, eh?”
It was too late. Sunny was already tipping up the bottom of the soju bottle. A few drops spluttered back out of her mouth as Joy pushed it back down. “Sunny! You’ve said it yourself! You don’t want to get married!”
“Doesn’t mean I’m not still lonely!”
Joy wrapped her arms around Sunny. “You’ve got me. And a million other friends!”
“Fans don’t count.” Sunny’s voice was partially muffled by Joy’s shoulder.
“Ouch. Time for me to delete my Sone club membership. But fine. A hundred other friends. It’s not just me. It’s my members. Your members. And plenty of others. All of NCT would be--Okay, nevermind. Aespa though! They love you too.”
“But I don't want to inconvenience you." Sunny ended so matter-of-factly that Joy had to pause to process the short conversation.
"You know how… You know how you take a road trip, and there's a road block, or really bad construction, and you have to take a detour?"
"Yeah. I'm a detour."
"Come on, Sunny. What you are is the scenic route!”
There was a long silence.
“Was that the end of the metaphor?” Sunny eventually asked.
“I am very drunk.”
“You’re not that drunk.”
“Drunk enough to be shit at metaphors.”
“It’s…” Sunny extricated herself from Joy’s hug. “It’s okay. I think I know what you’re getting at, and I appreciate it. It’s just that a few words don’t really fix a brain, you know?”
Joy nodded slowly, watching as Sogeum casually stalked across the room. “Yup. But believe me. I’m here for you, at least. So if you need a friend, or some company, I’m at the top of your list.”
The cat plopped herself on the floor, right up against Sunny’s leg. Joy giggled. “Fuck off, kitty. I just said I was the top.”
It seemed the topic of conversation was ready to change. Sunny smiled, and it was enough to indicate her understanding.
“So!” Joy moved things along. “A pile of free, top of the line sex toys in your living room. What’s a young woman to do about that?”
Sunny snorted. “Well I’m not going to masturbate while I have company over, that’s for sure.” She grabbed another box from the pile and handed it over, doing her best not to disturb Sogeum’s new resting place.
The new box took mere seconds to open, this time revealing a black silicone butt plug with a red gem in the base. The casing suggested that a picture could be inserted beneath the gem, and it appeared there was one already there as an example. Joy had to flip it around to a variety of angles before she could make out that it contained a headshot of Dreamcatcher’s Jiu making finger hearts on her cheeks. She cocked her head, wondering if the image had actually been authorized.
Another box swapped between the womens’ hands. It took Joy a little longer to open than the last, but it turned out to be that way for a good reason, given that it was gently holding some fragile cargo: A red-tinted glass bottle of lube, labeled as “Juice from the Fruit of The Tree.” The lengthy product title had a snake winding through the letters.
“Well now they’re just really doubling down on this theme, aren’t they?” Sunny asked as she worked out how to open the next package, using her bottle opener as a makeshift knife.
Joy laughed and picked up yet another, now eager to see what kind of wild object it would contain. “Yeah, they really are! No lie, they’re starting to give me some ideas. Talk about sinful.”
“‘Oh I know,’” Sunny mocked the company, as SM artists often did, fingers still struggling to find their way under the first cardboard flap. “‘Let’s send Sunny a whole pile of sex junk. Bet she’s sinful enough to use it all.’ Like, come on Love-eye, or whatever your name is. What’s a single woman gonna do with all this? Hold up a pillow fort?”
“Hey, maybe he doesn’t know you’re single. Maybe there’s some stuff in here that takes two to tangle with… Fuck. Choerry’s got me using alliterations.”
Sunny barely managed to get her fingers inside the box, but her knuckles were turning white from the tightness of it. It seemed that she had left a portion of the packing tape uncut. “I said I was single on the show, though. I don’t think there will be any couples’ toys in here.”
“Oooh, I’m gonna make it a bet now.” Joy smirked. Her next sentence bypassed her verbal filter through the holes left in it by the alcohol. “If you get that thing open and there’s a strap on inside, you have to fuck me with it!”
A jerk of her arms snapped the remainder of the packing tape. Sunny chuckled. “You’re on. There’s no way it is.”
Joy had to admit that Sunny had a point, considering how small the package was. Surely it couldn’t fit a series of leather straps, or a dildo any larger than a couple of inches in any direction. The little voice in the back of her mind that told her making such an offer was stupid quieted down somewhat.
There was a moment of quiet. Sogeum rolled away from Sunny and made her way to the kitchen. Joy picked up another box, confident that she hadn’t just placed herself in an awkward situation. Sunny shook her head, amused. And then…
“J-Joy?”
Joy looked back, but wasn’t quite sure what she was looking at. It was a sort of mass of black string with some silver discs hanging off of it. Another piece of pink paper fluttered to the floor, where Joy picked it up and read aloud.
“‘The Obol.’ As Charon ferried Dante across the Styx and into the hole that is Hell, so too shall this state-of-the-art magnetic harness ferry our exclusive Dante’s Dive dildo into your… partner’s hole…”
There was more to be read, but both women seemed to get the point. The only sound in the room came from Sogeum chomping through some hard cat food in the kitchen. Slowly, their eyes raised and met. They both spoke at the same moment.
“That was a bet’s a joke bet right?”
Their drunken minds needed a moment to detangle their words into distinct sentences. Sunny’s “That was a joke, right?” and Joy’s “A bet’s a bet.”
Sunny started again first. “You know, we don’t have to.”
“I will if you want to.”
Every sentence being exchanged was followed by a palpable stillness. Joy’s heart beat loudly in her own ears, and she swore she could hear Sunny’s too.
“Do you… want to fuck me with that, Sunny?”
Sunny answered instantly. “Yup.”
There was a flurry of action, though it was slowed here and there by a tipsy stumble or two. Sunny gathered up an armful of the items on her coffee table, both sex toys and the bottle of soju, and sprinted for the bedroom. Joy rushed after her, messily attempting and failing to remove some of her clothes on the way.
Sogeum was spooked by the sudden kerfuffle and fled out of sight.
The bedroom was no less hectic. Sunny dropped everything on the bed except the soju, which she took one more swig of directly from the bottle before setting it dangerously close to the edge of her desk. She wiggled out of her shirt and bra, which attracted Joy’s attention instantly.
Joy struck at Sunny’s cleavage, wrapping her fingers as far as they could go around the legendary orbs, and her lips around one of the budding tips. Their differences in height made it awkward, but they very soon found their way to a horizontal state that eased that tension. Unfortunately, it was not on the bed, but on the floor, but they weren’t about to let something like that stop them.
What clothes they were still wearing exploded off their bodies. Joy’s shorts and shirt, Sunny’s pants and socks. All of it ended up in different sections of the room, thrown under and over furniture.
Joy was no stranger to encounters like this, and neither was Sunny. They had shared countless stories with each other… and some spit. But neither had considered their prior make out sessions to be precursors to explicitly sexual action. For her part, however, Joy considered this one differently, and Sunny’s hands searching half-blindly for Joy’s ass confirmed to her that Sunny thought the same.
Backs arched. Legs ground against one another. Open mouths met, trading the alcoholic scents that the women no longer cared to distinguish. Their minds had devoted themselves entirely to the search for physical pleasure.
A lot of exploratory prodding led Sunny’s fingers to the entrance to Joy’s pussy, failing to notice the number of pokes that ended up at Joy's exit. She took some time familiarizing herself with the drenched outer folds.
Joy, however, noticed the poking at her ass. Her mind swam with serotonin, thoughts of other people, and alcoholic fumes that seemed to rearrange the letters of her thoughts into nonsense. Or possibly into inspiration.
Inspiration relevant to the happenings at the prior year's award shows, that is.
Joy tried to pull back the moment Sunny’s fingers dipped inside her. She had opened her mouth to speak but instead groaned and arched herself further into Sunny’s grip on her sanity. "S-Sunny. B-bed."
At least that message was received loud and clear. Sunny dragged her fingers against Joy’s G-spot as she, disappointingly, pulled them out, nearly causing Joy to scream. The same fingers plunged into Joy’s mouth and quieted her as she diligently sucked her own juices from them.
The action transferred to the bed. Fingers immediately found their places again, and Joy bounced on her back in time with Sunny’s brutal shoves. Packaging bounced all around them. It was like a desperate, distracted game of Vegetable Shinobi for Joy, swiping at the jumping dildo. Sunny’s fingers were divine, eye-wateringly so, but Joy wanted something unholy.
Sunny muttered Joy’s name, catching her attention again. She lifted her head to meet for yet another imprecise kiss. Their legs twisted around each other. Joy could hear the desperation in Sunny’s moans, vibrating all the way down her throat, burning like the alcohol. She snaked a hand between them and found Sunny’s clit.
The moans freed themselves as Sunny bucked backward, almost out of Joy’s longer reach. Joy noted the exceptional reaction, and flipped Sunny onto her back, following immediately and putting herself in the position of power Sunny had initiated.
“You’re gonna fuck me with the strap on… right, Sunny?”
Sunny’s eyes widened, and she grabbed the toys.
“No, not yet,” Joy stalled in her most seductive voice. She slid down, nearly falling off the bed, and wrenched Sunny’s legs wide open with her elbows.
Sunny clenched her fingers around the hell-themed dildo for dear life. Joy’s name poured through her lips over and over again as Joy’s lips poured over her pussy.
Joy had to fight Sunny’s strength to keep her spread thighs from clamping around her head. She wanted to keep hearing her senior beg, loud and clear. To that end, she dug in her tongue, unable to penetrate far, but far enough to open Sunny up and feel the wetness flow into her mouth.
“Please… Joy… I’m close… Joy, please! Joy, don’t stop!”
The thought flitted through Joy’s head, that perhaps denying Sunny her orgasm would be fun, but something about the way she said it made Joy wonder if Sunny’s neediness was rooted in her loneliness, more than in her desire to get off. She shifted herself to wrap her arms under Sunny’s legs and pulled. It wasn’t possible for them to be any physically closer than they were, but she wanted to make it feel like they could be.
Sunny’s voice cracked, choked, and broke into a scream. Joy winced as her tongue was squeezed uncomfortably, but she wasn’t about to stop. The back arches, hair grasping, and pained gasps that followed were worth it.
Joy kept it up until Sunny’s body fell back down and her muscles relaxed. Only then, she removed herself to ask, “Need a break before my turn?”
A smile crept up Sunny’s mouth. Her fingers tightened around the dildo she still had in her hand. “Get… back down here.”
If there was any benefit Joy appreciated most about idol training, it was recovery speed, and Sunny still had it. Joy picked up the strap, quickly figuring out how it was supposed to fit and sliding it up Sunny’s legs. The motion doubled as her approach for another make out.
Of course, Joy was still immensely horny. Her interest in making out with Sunny was overshadowed by her desire to get fucked savagely, but she had the wherewithal to hold out, to let it happen naturally. She was always good at letting others take the lead. Whether they led from the top or from the bottom didn’t especially matter to her.
The alcohol made her more impatient than usual though. She forced herself to wait for the five-speed pounding she’d get, but she ground herself against Sunny’s leg in the meantime. Thankfully she didn’t have to wait long. Sunny threw her to the side and attached the vibrator to the unusual strap with very little trouble. Joy fingered herself as she watched.
“Fuck, yes, Sunny. This is going to be so goo--”
Sunny practically tackled Joy. Their lips collided again, strap hovering somewhere between Joy’s legs, but not close enough for her to feel it.
The moment she did, though, Joy grabbed Sunny’s ass and pulled. The lack of accuracy was made up for by the inhuman amount of lubrication present; both Joy’s and the curious synthetic compound that the dildo exuded seemingly of its own volition.
It was almost too much for Joy. The dildo was certainly longer than any she had used before, and bottoming out at full speed meant it hit her rather painfully in the cervix. She hissed, but otherwise just readjusted her legs in Sunny’s way to prevent the same thing from happening so easily again.
The strap held the dildo in place on Sunny’s body well. Despite its genuinely small frame, it seemed to prevent all wiggling. Every one of Sunny’s movements, including the less delicate, more intoxicated ones, translated to sensations that felt to Joy like a biologically attached dick, albeit with a plethora of extra features.
"You're so pretty, Joy," Sunny said. Even though she was doing all the work now, she wasn't nearly as winded as before. Knowing she’d affected Sunny made Joy grin into another kiss.
“No you,” Joy said with a smirk. She knew this would be good, but she truly underestimated how great it would be to see Sunny’s famous tits jiggling with the effort of fucking her. The sheen of sweat covering them would ensure the night wouldn’t be forgotten, even if Joy had another drink or two.
Joy’s first orgasm struck quickly and unexpectedly. Her breath stopped and a shudder spiked through her body from her core to the tips of her toes and fingers and head. The ability to think normally left her for a brief moment. She only kept the fleeting question of whether or not Sunny was able to feel Joy’s climax. Stars popped in and out of existence, obscuring Joy’s view of Sunny’s fantastic body.
It all faded relatively soon after, but it wasn’t enough for Joy. As soon as her lungs refilled, she screamed, “More! Sunny! Fuck me! Fuck me! Oh god!” She was practically numb everywhere, except for every square inch of her that the dildo rubbed, slid, and vibrated against. Her arms and legs wrapped around Sunny on their own.
Joy, eyes half closed, barely registered when Sunny slowed down to grab and open the extra package. She did, however, notice the sudden prodding feeling at her asshole.
“Sun--”
She couldn’t even finish Sunny’s name before something slipped its way into her butt. Her vision cleared up enough to see that even while she continued thrusting, Sunny had one hand tucked between them, and it was the source of the extra intrusion.
A couple more thrusts though, and Joy was lost to the pleasure again. She started to pant instead of scream or moan, or perhaps she was whimpering, or speaking fluent Polish. Joy couldn’t have said one way or the other. Another orgasm hit. And another. And another. She knew some time was passing between each one, but whether it was seconds or days between no longer mattered. Her mind was fading out of existence.
Until, that is, it wasn’t.
With seemingly no provocation, Joy suddenly remembered Cheungae. She had been meaning to talk to Sunny about him before they had gotten drunk. Her mind wandered, far, far more than it normally would during such intense sex.
Cheungae had taken her out several times since their first, less-than-professional meeting at the MAMAs with Wheein. Even though Joy knew he was struggling financially, he always insisted on paying for coffee, but would give up if he saw the bill when Joy took him to some of the much higher end restaurants.
He was always so polite, genuine, and humble. He didn’t even question when Joy told him they couldn’t be in a relationship, but instead insisted that they could be friends. Joy wondered if it was fair to him that she was treating him as a boyfriend in every way but name while she was still having a grand old time fucking everyone else in the industry. Cheungae knew about it, but wasn’t part of it.
And yet, sex with Cheungae made Joy feel good. Great, even. She could recreate the sensations in her mind for days afterward. His slim, toned figure hovering over her, his face contorted beautifully in adorable agony, his admittedly mediocre cock managing to hit her just right with every move. She couldn’t stop picturing him.
Another orgasm smashed through Joy’s illusion. The mental image of perfectly human Cheungae was instantly replaced with the very physical image of god-like Sunny. As tended to happen, Joy held her breath as the climax coursed through her. Her muscles contracted until she was holding Sunny in a deathly grip.
“F-fuck. Sunn-ny. Slow… slow down.”
It seemed that the request was desperately needed by both lovers, because rather than simply slow down, Sunny fell over. Joy’s pussy immediately craved to be filled again, but she knew she needed to clear her head. And besides that, she still had an odd full sensation. When her muscles relaxed enough for her to move of her own volition, she reached beneath herself and recoiled again at the feeling of a drenched butt plug. Her fingertips carried a puddle of mixed cum and lube back up.
“I’m sorry… Joy… I think that’s all I have left in me,” Sunny said between gasps.
Joy made note of her own throat and how dry it was. Whatever sound she was making while she borderline hallucinated, she’d be regretting it for a while. “All good. I was losing my sanity. That was unbelievable.”
Sunny giggled. It sounded painful. “The vibrator… or the surprise plug?”
Joy giggled back. “The plug was definitely a surprise. Was that the one with Jiu's face in it?”
“Mhm.”
“Cool,” Joy sat up, her head swimming in the aftermath. “But I just think it was you using the stuff that made it so good.”
Sunny seemed invigorated by the compliments. She smiled and reached under the bed, making some noise and bringing up a bottle of water. The two of them swapped it back and forth until it was empty and then collapsed into one another, idly feeling each others' bodies up the whole time.
“Does that mean you’re up for another… night like this? Or day?” Sunny asked as she fondled Joy’s tits. It sounded like she had sobered up, at least most of the way. Joy was too afraid of what she would see to look at a clock.
“You fucking know it,” Joy responded while she brushed her fingers up and down Sunny’s inner thighs. It was a reflex for her to agree, but she cringed inwardly as soon as she did, realizing how much more sober she had become herself, and how she wished she wasn’t. She was thinking about Cheungae again.
There was a barrage of light kisses all over her face, neck, and chest. Sunny looked far too happy for Joy to feel okay about retracting her statement.
“Maybe not right now though,” Joy said, just in case Sunny was already getting ideas. “We should really get to bed.”
She didn’t hear any arguments. They simply got up, and only long enough to flip up the duvet, flinging all of the remaining sex toys off, and jumped underneath.
It took a minute for Joy to realize she needed to remove the surprise butt plug. It was easy enough, and she ended up tossing it to the floor without looking at it.
Joy wrapped herself around Sunny. She was usually the big spoon, not that it bothered her. Sunny’s bare back felt comfortably hot against her chest and stomach. Cheungae liked being the big spoon too. He’d swap with her all the time…
“Hey, Sunny?”
“Mmm?” Sunny was on the verge of sleep, it seemed.
Joy lowered her voice, barely above a whisper. “Have you ever thought about… Settling down, I guess? Just being with one person?”
She didn’t expect Sunny to have an immense store of wisdom, but she hoped for more than what she got: a snore.
“Good night to you too, Sunny.”
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