#and i am so so pleased to see renee being gay as fuck here

[hannahsmusings]

Renee

*I laugh as she catches onto my disgust* Am I that obvious about my lack of attraction to men? *I giggle, taking a sip of my wine and shrugging my shoulders* It’s just funny because I used to love men. If you knew me back in school… *I wink at her, loving this little game we were still playing* you would never of guessed that I’d be sat here on a date with a beautiful woman. I don’t know when it all changed, really. It just happened so suddenly… it was like I was straight and then I just wasn’t anymore. Sexuality is weird. *I look over at her, dying to know where she stood on her own sexuality but not wanting to pry, knowing it had to be hard to come to terms with and figure out, knowing I went through my own phase of denial, remembering how terrifying it was to realize that I was in love with a woman and that men just didn’t do anything for me anymore, physically or sexually* *I furrow my brow as she doesn’t know how to answer her own question, finding that very telling about where she stood in that department, her anxious and overly analytical brain probably having such a hard time figuring everything out since it was all so new* It’s okay to be confused… most people are. It’s not all as black and white as we’d all like to think that it is… *I wanted her to open up to me and tell me when her attraction to girls started or if it was something about me, that little anxious voice in my head telling me to worry about this but I didn’t want to focus on it but the realistic part of my brain knew I needed to if I wanted to fully give myself to her, needing to know that she wasn’t going to wake up one day and freak out and leave me* What was your last relationship like? *everyone had toxic traits and I was starting to see that Jen’s might be clinginess and I was wondering if that was a burden in other relationships, not knowing girlfriend Jen at all, not knowing what made her tick and what made her angry in a relationship* 

___________________________________

*grins at the little inside joke about you in school, remembering how flirty you used to be* *listens as you talk about your sexuality changing, intrigued but also feeling that niggling feeling in my stomach at the fact I hadn't addressed that conversation with myself yet, knowing I was putting it off but I wasn't ready to face that and burst our bubble just yet* Very weird. *murmurs in agreement, not really seeing myself as gay or lesbian or anything and knowing that was my denial but ignoring it for the moment* *not ready to admit to you I was confused just yet, especially in this public setting without my little self to rely on for comfort, instead pushing that away and grateful when you ask me a question to move the conversation on* *thinks for a moment as I sip my wine before sighing* Probably not very healthy to be honest. We were together 8 months and I did everything I could to please him but it was never quite enough. *mumbles softly, him being the typical jock type but he was stoic and I was constantly trying to make him happy and go out of my way for him for very little reward, all my trauma responses seeming to come out in full force in that relationship as I was trying so hard to be needed and wanted and it just never worked* I wasn't very good at looking after myself in that relationship. *feels awkward about saying this under our first date pretense, just wanting to be normal with you but also wanting to fulfil your wants as well, feeling anxious for a moment and burying my head in my hands before peeking through my fingers* Ugh, am I ruining this? I wanna be the perfect first date for you and I love that we've got this whole role play going on but I feel like I'm fucking it up. You make me so nervous. *bites my lip a little, feeling vulnerable and just needing some reassurance that I wasn't ruining my chances with you*

[thewhizzyhead]

super super proud of my girl renee rapp for going from someone who plays a repressed mean high school lesbian on stage to playing a repressed mean college student lesbian on an HBO series woo Regina George is truly living her best life now

#im not kidding leighton murray is quite literally regina George #but kinder #so yea i've seen some clips from the sex life of college girls aka the new show renee is in #and i am so so pleased to see renee being gay as fuck here #i havent watched the entire show tho wah i've only seen some clips on twitter with renee #and honestly she's really freaking good #dunno if i would watch the entire show tho like um it doesnt really seem like my style #also not much of a surprise considering the title here but um yea there's a lot of sex stuff and ummmmmmmm yea #it does seem quite funny tho and i really like leighton's love interest #anyways yea leighton murray is literally regina george but in college and with a bit of growth thfjjf #renee rapp #the sex lives of college girls #Leighton murray #mean girls #mean girls the musical #regina george #(also i would like to clarify that regina is not canonically a lesbian but we (including renee btw) like to think that she is)

[givemewallywestorgivemedeath]

Introducing DC's 80 page Pride book!!

(yes, I know it's not a full rainbow, I don't have all the colors 😭)

(DC Pride cover, featuring Jess, Kate, Ivy, Harley, Dreamer, Midnighter, Apollo, the Question and Alan Scott!!!! Not featured but also present are Crush and Pied Piper!!!)

Notably, this marks Dreamer's first time being in the comics (she was first introduced in the Supergirl tv show as a descendant of Dream Girl). Dreamer was the first transgender superhero on tv and I'm very excited that she's here to stay!!! (Also apparently the actor who played Dreamer in the show wrote the story, which????? What the fuck, you go girl, that's awesome!?!? I wish I was that talented)

(Variant cover for DC Pride featuring the lovely Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy, Gotham's resident Bi-cons)

Extremely excited to see Jess again so quickly (pun intended). If you don't know who Jess Chambers is, they're my favorite non-binary Flash and they are absolutely wonderful. (I adore them) I loved their relationship with Aquawoman in Future State (it was one of the only things about Future State that I liked). Unfortunately, that's probably the last we'll see of Jess and Andy together, as Andy is a baby currently (unless they bring in an alternate universe Andy??). But honestly tho, I don't care if Jess is in a relationship or not as long as they are featured in comics.

(Variant cover of Superman #32, featuring Clark being wholesome af)

Love to see the Gay Dads™ being featured front and center in the Pride anthology. Alan Scott, the absolute legend, just came out to his kids recently and it was beautiful. Hopefully this story includes his lovely children and the JSA, because we love to see them being wholesome together.

(Variant cover of Nightwing #81 featuring a pole dancing Dick Grayson)

Midnighter and Apollo (the other Gay Dads ™) we haven't seen since DC's last Pride book (cough, cough, do better dc). Hopefully we get confirmation that their daughter still exists post reboot because I'm half expecting dc to pull a Lian Harper and I hate it.

(Variant cover of Wonder Girl #2, featuring a Yara who is possibly queer?? All signs point to yes but we shall see)

Speaking of gays that we love, I'm incredibly excited for the return of the Pied Piper. The first openly gay man in dc, Hartley used to be a main character in the Flash series. Best friends with Wally West, Hartley stopped showing up in comics the same time he did. Hopefully now that Wally is the main Flash again Hartley will retake his role as a series regular (and we can finally have Piper's long awaited wedding).

(Variant cover of Crush & Lobo #1 featuring Crush and Katie....... Please don't break them up dc)

We, of course, have our resident lesbians, Renee and Kate. The Question and Batwoman, back at it again with that gay shit. You love to see it. We also have Crush joining the ranks with her girlfriend Katie (it is unclear at this time what Crush and Katie's orientations are but I think it's fairly safe to add em to the wlw catagory).

(Variant cover of Harley Quinn #4, featuring.... oh, who am I kidding? They don't need an introduction)

You know em, you love em, Gotham City's resident Bi-cons are out here stealing the show. Excited to see their relationship front and center!! It's not often bisexual characters are allowed to even acknowledge their bisexuality (looking at you Wonder Woman and John Constantine). This is a nice change of pace!

(Ps, guys please let me know how to do more than like five colors on tumblr....)

#dc comics #dc #pride #pride month #comics #biseuxal #transgender #nonbinary #lesbian #gay #lgbtqia #dc pride #nightwing #superman #crush #harley quinn #poison ivy #harley x ivy #yara flor #jesse chambers #the flash #dreamer #Midnighter #apollo #pied piper #dick grayson #alan scott #green lantern #batwoman #kate kane

[the-chicken-or-the-banana]

I always wondered how the foxes would react to finding out that it was andrew that "hit on" neil first (specially Kevin, since he was just standing right there while that happened)

(now, i don't think they would willing just talk about it but if one of them slip up...)

Btw: i absolutely adored the goodbye kisses series

AHHH sorry for being so MIA lately but i'm absolutely loving this! also i'm realizing that i'm very bad at actually getting to the point so enjoy a shit ton of irrelevant exposition :)

read it on ao3 here

— ··· —

Kevin didn't understand why they had to come to the zoo. It was smelly, there were kids screaming everywhere, and he'd nearly been stepped on three times in the past 10 minutes. He much rather preferred exy to this.

Team bonding sucked.

He trudged along beside Aaron as Dan, Matt, and Nicky actually tried socializing with the new Foxes. Normally, Kevin would jump at the chance to talk about exy with these recruits, but also, normally he didn't feel like he'd just just rolled through a flaming dumpster filled with screeching, pooping monkeys.

Kevin let out a sigh as they passed some sort of mildly interesting snake exhibit. He nudged Aaron, who was on his phone with a red face, which meant he was either texting lovey-dovey things to Katelyn or blasting an idiot in his Ochem class. You never really knew with him.

"Aaron."

Aaron just scowled at him. Kevin sighed again. Conversing was always so much more exhausting than he anticipated.

"Snakes."

"What."

"Do you want to... see the snakes?"

Aaron blinked in confusion. "Okay?"

Kevin led them to the snakes.

There, they shoved past some families and made it to the front of the glass enclosure.

"Well?" Aaron asked. "Now what do we do?"

Valid question, Kevin thought. He hadn't really considered what they were doing. He just wanted to see snakes.

He told Aaron as much, who rolled his eyes aggressively and went back to his phone.

Kevin felt a tap on his shoulder and twisted around, coming face-to-face (well, more like chest-to-face) with some sort of tour or information guide.

"Hi!" she smiled all too brightly. Kevin wanted to cover his eyes. "How are you enjoying the exhibition?"

"Um," Kevin gulped eloquently, then remembered his media training. "Oh yeah, it's great!"

"Awesome," she beamed. "You know, there's a snake feeding session in about 5 minutes if you and your son are interested."

Kevin's face contorted in confusion. He whirled around, assuming some tiny, lost child was latched near him, but when he turned back, the lady — Sandy — had her gaze intensely focused on the only other small person near him: Aaron.

Oh dear.

Aaron seemed to come to the same conclusion as Kevin did because his eyes widened comically and he hissed "I. am. not. his. son."

Sandy blinked owlishly. "Little brother then?"

Aaron threw his hands up. "I am 21! Leave me alone." He then proceeded to stomp out of the enclosure, dragging Kevin along and leaving a very flummoxed old lady behind them.

"I can't believe it," Aaron kept muttering. "Your son. Your son! I hate life."

Kevin was a bit miffed that he hadn't actually been able to see the snakes, but he figured Aaron's plight was slightly more significant than that.

After a few moments of silent walking (Kevin) and angry grumbing (Aaron), Kevin realized he couldn't see any of the Foxes anymore. He glanced around, instinctively searching for Andrew.

"Hey, do you know where Andrew and Neil went?" Kevin asked.

Aaron scoffed. "They're probably making out somewhere."

"Who's making out?"

Aaron and Kevin both gave unholy screeches as they turned around to find Nicky standing between them, a wide, innocent grin on his face.

"What the fuck," Aaron complained. "Don't do that again, you bitch."

Nicky waved him off. "Shut up. Who's making out? Might be able to close some bets."

Kevin rolled his eyes. "We just can't find Andrew and Neil anywhere. Aaron seems to believe they're off deflowering a zoo Port-A-Potty or something."

"Well then, we wouldn't want to interrupt them, right?" Nicky winked. "Anyways, we're all going to the butterfly exhibit right now so y'all have to join us. I'm not taking no for an answer."

It seemed that they had no choice, so after sharing a resigned glance, Kevin and Aaron trudged behind an overly enthusiastic Nicky while he babbled on about some parrots that he saw. It really didn't seem as interesting as Nicky was making it out to be, but Kevin didn't want to say anything lest he was expected to participate in the conversation too.

They finally reached the butterfly exhibit where the other Foxes were waiting for them. They entered as a mass of loud, mildy buff, smelly athletes and got more than a few glares from the parents of young children who moved out of the way.

But in all this movement, the path cleared and Kevin found... Andrew and Neil? He was about to turn to Aaron and tell him that they evidently not making out, until he noticed how still Andrew was standing and the glee on Neil's face.

Nicky's gaze caught onto them a second later, because he squealed and grabbed Kevin's arm, jabbing his finger at the sight.

"Oh my God," he whispered. "Is that a butterfly on Andrew's nose? That is adorable."

Kevin squinted, and yes, that's exactly what it appeared to be. Nicky's outburst had caught Allison's attention, and she began marching over to Neil and Andrew, the rest of the Foxes in tow.

Kevin could already tell this was going to be a mess.

When they finally reached Andrew, Aaron was the first to speak. "What the fuck?" he asked flatly. Andrew glared at him. Slowly, as to not move the butterfly, he raised his hand to gently flip off his brother.

Nicky immediately started cooing. "Aww, don't worry Andrew! I think you look adorable."

Andrew began slipping out a knife.

On Allison's left, Kevin saw Dan practically shaking with laughter as she pulled out her camera and snapped a picture.

Neil opened his mouth, probably to tell off Dan but Nicky rushed in to talk to him.

"Soooo," he waggled his eyebrows. "I didn't know you could see the future, Neil."

Neil stared at him blankly and turned back to Andrew as he pulled out a map, but Nicky rallied on.

"Like, you must have been able to predict that one day Andrew was going to be this adorable. That's why you asked him out, right?"

"What?" Neil asked distractedly. "I never asked him out."

Kevin blinked in surprise. After a moment's consideration, he realized that considering how utterly oblivious Neil could be, it really was no shocker that Andrew had to ask him out first.

"Wait wait wait," Matt shook his head. "So Andrew asked you out?"

Neil waved them off as he continued squinting at the map he was holding. "Yes yes, just go ask Kevin, he was there."

All eyes turned to Kevin. Kevin was very lost.

"What the fuck," Aaron repeated. "I'm so confused."

"Me too," Kevin muttered. "Me too."

— ··· —

After their long day at the zoo was over, the Foxes finally began the trudge back up to their respective dorms. The younger Foxes dozed off immediately, but the older Foxes gathered in the girls' room to drop off the bags they had borrowed for the trip.

In all the commotion, no one really noticed Andrew and Neil leaving together. But right before they slipped out the door, Renee caught sight of them.

"Good night, you two!" she called. Neil turned around and gave her a tired wave, his body slumped on Andrew.

"Wait!" Nicky scrambled off the sofa. "Before I forget: Neil, how did Andrew ask you out?"

Neil blinked sleepily. "Well," he slurred. "He asked if he could blow me."

The room went silent.

Andrew heaved a sigh and dragged Neil out the door, leaving seven wide-eyed, very much awake athletes in their wake. Slowly, everyone turned to Kevin.

"You!" Allison weakly jabbed a finger in his direction. "You knew about this!"

Too late, Kevin realized what Neil's statement meant. Andrew had asked out Neil in front of Kevin. By offering sex. Nothing could have possibly ruined Kevin's night as much as this information had.

He met the Foxes' eyes slowly. Even Renee looked a bit surprised at Neil's admission, but she was clearly biting back a smile. "Trust me," Kevin groaned. "If I had known this had happened, I would have won myself so many bets."

"Damn," Nicky sighed. "I wish Erik and I had such an iconic story. Who knew the quiet, stabby cousin was such a horny gay bastard?"

"I," Aaron announced hotly. "have never wanted to forget a conversation more than this one."

"But Aaron. Andrew asked to blow him."

"Nicky, I swear— "

"OH MY GOD. They're probably having sex right now! Kevin, could you— "

Aaron put his head in his hands. "Please shut up now."

#SORRY FOR BEING GONE FOR SO LONG #i'm here now #aaron is my spirit animal #as is kevin #andreil #andrew minyard #neil josten #aftg #all for the game #tfc #the foxhole court #kevin day #aaron minyard #renee walker #allison reynolds #dan wilds #matt boyd #nicky hemmick #the foxes #palmetto state foxes #my writing #anon request #aftg fanfic #aftg fanfiction #all for the game fanfic

[andrew-minyards-bitch]

Conversations Renee and Andrew definitely had

Andrew, struggling on basic grammar: how do you differentiate between man and men?

Renee: mEn has an E in it which stands for Ego that Every men have

Renee: mAn stands for Audacity that some may posses but are too cowardly to show it

~

Renee: what’re you eating?

Andrew: a Twix

Renee, under her breath: ya fucking twink

~

Renee, anytime Andrew says or does something problematic: did you know it takes zero dollars to shut up and think before you speak or do?

Andrew: pay for my silence

Renee: bitch you think you’re worth the money? Also I’m broke so,,

~

Dan: why the fuck are you sitting on the sofa like that?

Renee, with her legs spread wide on the sofa so Andrew wouldn’t have any room: huh? What do you mean?

Andrew, clingy on the left corner of the sofa like a cat because he refuses to admit defeat: we’re both gay :)

Dan, is tired: *l e a v e s*

~

Renee: I think that men should show emotions more specifically crying <3

Andrew: yes I agree, like in media or literature men not showing emotions and painting them as monsters is so shitty-

Renee, stares in “you didn’t let me finish talking”: not because of gender equality and all that shit but because I just like seeing them cry, I see a man in pain and I’m like good, suffer

Andrew: I- that works too

~

Renee: I am sick and tired of “men don’t feel emotions” bullshit when society literally allows men to weaponize their anger and let it out in ways that physically harm another human being and last I checked anger is an emotion

~

Renee: I hate men

Andrew: good more for me

~

Andrew: enemies to lovers is only good when it’s gay

Renee, sometimes his reading partner: exactly because if I wanted to see a man and a woman arguing I’d simply go downstairs and have dinner with Coach and Betsy

~

Andrew, has TikTok: I’m gonna marry your son, make him my husband

Renee, deadpans: Andrew- Neil is an orphan you know this

Andrew: it’s a TikTok sound??

~

Andrew and Renee had a Disney movie marathon:

Andrew: look I get that everyone is freaking out over Nick Wilde from zootopia but like are we not going to acknowledge that Robin Hood was the literal blueprint?

Andrew: see here; same ginger fur, green eyes, is a criminal and the government wants them, attractive personality, dry witty humor that makes them even hotter- they are literally the same person

Andrew: Robin Hood walked, he walked, he strutted that runway so that Nick Wilde could run

Renee: I? Just? Want to? Marry? Maid? Marian??

~

Renee, watching 2017 beauty and the beast while the beast is singing “evermore”: break a man to the point where he sings songs like this

Andrew, trying to vibe with the song: I’m begging you to not, please

~

Andrew: why has no one made a joke about Flynn’s late name?

Renee: you want to Ride his dick so bad don’t you?

~

Andrew: I want to get kidnapped

Renee, slightly concerned: why?

Andrew: cause if they decide to starve me then I can be skinny

Renee: why don’t you just try dieting?

Andrew, eating a tube of ice cream: no I’m good

~

Andrew: *sends ten paragraphs of love notes*

Renee: *talks about something that’s completely irrelevant*

Andrew: did you not read what I sent you?

Renee: bitch you think I’ve got the time??

~

Andrew: I want food

Renee: no starve

Andrew: I want food but I’m too lazy to get up and cook

Renee: you should get a sugar daddy and then I’ll get a sugar mommy so then we won’t have to do anything again

Andrew: *already downloading the app before Renee could finish speaking*

~

Renee: Andrew go shove the snow, help the workers out

Andrew: no that’s a buff lesbian’s job and looking at the both of us, it’s clearly not me

Renee: you lazy fuc-

~

Renee: I hate you!!

Andrew: okay?!

Renee: *gets 10 snacks and gives it to Andrew five minutes later* I love you so much you have no idea, you are the light of my life and everything about you makes me a better person

Andrew: I don’t know if that’s sarcasm or not but your mood switch is freaking me out

~

Andrew: can you try not killing me?

Renee, sparing partners check: can your face not look so annoying and punch able?

#96% of these came from me talking to myself and locking myself inside my room because I don’t like interacting with my family #but hey at least we got these gems #this is basically a look into my brain #also Renee and Andrew’s friendship is simply superior #hope this was an enjoyable read #I literally do not know what I wrote #this has been sitting in my drafts for four days now :) #andrew minyard #renee walker #aftg #all for the game #tfc #the foxhole court

[allthefilmsiveseenforfree]

Harley Quinn: Birds of Prey

I know next to nothing about Harley Quinn. I didn’t really grow up with Batman: The Animated Series, and I certainly didn’t see Suicide Squad because I don’t hate myself but I DO hate method actors who use playing dark and disturbed characters as an excuse to treat the real people around them like shit! But I knew from the first trailer that I would probably be on board with this version of Joker’s ex-partner in crime because Margot Robbie is just a goddamn delight and because it’s about a diverse group of women just like...kicking ass, dude. Also a lot of the time they’re wearing leather and spandex. I’M ONLY HUMAN. Given Harley’s somewhat checkered past in terms of empowering characterization, I was certainly curious about which version we would ultimately get here. Would this be the lovesick domestic violence victim, little more than the Joker’s sidekick? Would this be the unhinged sociopath, just as hellbent on violence and chaos as her boyfriend? Would this be the silly, sassy femme fatale who does what she wants and just has a ton of fun doing it? Well...

A mix of all three, really, and in trying to have their cake and eat it too, DC has managed to create a version of Harley Quinn that’s nuanced, complicated, and the kind of character that could anchor her own prestige cable drama for 5 seasons if women were allowed to do that. The basic plot is simple: Harley Quinn (Margot Robbie) and the Joker have broken up, and without his protection, there are a BUNCH of people in Gotham City who really want her dead, but none more than Roman Sionis (Ewan McGregor). Meanwhile, Roman’s trying to get his hands on this really big diamond that’s been stolen by a scrappy lil pickpocket named Cassandra Cain (Ella Jay Basco, who holds her own against these other powerhouse actresses with aplomb). Basically everyone else in the movie is either trying to find Harley or find Cassandra and by the time they all come together in the last act of the movie, everyone’s just trying to prevent Roman from blowing everyone the fuck up. 

Some thoughts:

First of all, I had a great fucking time. The colors, the chaotic energy, the pure FUN of the whole thing is intoxicating. Cathy Yan’s direction and Christina Hodson’s rollicking good time of a script combine to form something that’s just a bomb ass time at the movies. 

I feel like it goes without saying, but Margot Robbie owns every second that she’s on screen. She’s equal parts merry and mayhem, and she does bad things sometimes. But you still root for her, you can’t help it. Robbie is magnetic - you cannot take your eyes off her, even if you want to, and she imbues Harley with so much pathos and growth in spite of her less than savory actions that she could kick both Don Draper and Walter White’s ass no problem.  

Ewan McGregor’s American accent isn’t great, but honestly, he’s having a great fucking time too so I don’t mind it so much.

The costuming is FANTASTIC. I am shouting out the film’s costume designer, Erin Benach, SO HARD here because she did an incredible job. Every single character’s outfits are unique and perfectly perfect for their personality and arc. Roman is all velvet blazers with no shirt and leather gloves and Black Canary (Jurnee Smollett-Bell, who I have loved since Friday Night Lights and I love even MORE now because she did all her own singing in this and is just so good) wears the most incredible sultry-lounge-singer-with-a-Pam-Grier-throwback-vibe gold and black ensembles. Most of all, I love that Harley’s outfits are revealing - slutty even - without feeling gross or exploitative. They’re slutty in a way women like, which is so refreshing I could cry. 

I really enjoyed the soundtrack and score as well. There’s some Heart, Joan Jett, and Kesha going on, but there’s also a fire Megan Thee Stallion and Normani track over the credits. And the score is effective but not invasive, which I always appreciate.

Speaking of the credits, there is not a post-credits scene exactly but there is a little easter egg of a joke that was worth staying for!

Everything about this movie reveals a thoughtfulness and engagement with the female characters that unfortunately just doesn’t happen that often in films created by and for men. You know how I know this film allowed women to be in the rooms where the decisions happen? Because Harley and her frenemies are sexy but not overtly sexualized; every single woman in this movie has her own arc and character growth; they’re strong without being forced into the Strong Female Character archetype; and the camera frames their faces rather than their tits. 

I love Bruce the hyena so much because he is perfect and has never done anything wrong in his whole life. 

For as gay as this movie is, I am pleased to report that it is also ACTUALLY GAY because there are lesbian characters in it! Renee Montoya (Rosie Perez, taking NO SHIT) and Ellen Yee (Ali Wong) are ex-girlfriends! Who are specifically named as lesbians! Imagine! The novelty!

There is a brief scene of sexual humiliation that is deeply uncomfortable to watch, but you know how I know it was directed by a woman? Because the scene is brief but impactful, it is meant to showcase how evil Roman is, and the way the scene is shot we are forced to focus on the woman’s face or her knees rather than her bra and underwear. 

I confess, I had to laugh when Roman finally put on his big evil character mask because he looks like an evil luchador.

Mary Elizabeth Winstead is so hot as Huntress that I thought I was going to dehydrate myself into a coma while watching this movie. Her lack of people skills only made me love her more. Between this and Ramona Flowers, MEW is the gift that keeps on giving to ladygays of my generation.

I just feel like I can’t stress enough how much I loved all the moments that were included in this film because women were the ones creating it. Harley offers Black Canary a hair tie in the middle of a fight scene and I felt like my heart grew three sizes in that moment, which was so simple and funny and perfect.

For an R-rated comic book movie, it’s shockingly not very bloody. I was expecting cartoonish levels of Deadpool-style gore, but really the only R-rated thing the film showcases is naughty language. There’s certainly violence, but again, it doesn’t feel gross or exploitative.

Did I Cry? No, I was having too much fun!

Each of these women ultimately save themselves from their own circumstances - be it an abusive relationship, a shitty job, a mission of vengeance, or just being held in the clutches of a madman. I cannot recommend this movie enough for its sheer joy at its own existence and every thoughtful choice that was made behind and in front of the camera to tell a story about women that can compete with the big boys. 

If you liked this review, please consider reblogging or subscribing to my Patreon! For as low as $1, you can access bonus content and movie reviews, or even request that I review any movie of your choice.

#120in2020 #harley quinn: birds of prey #birds of prey #hq: bop #birds of prey review #harley quinn #black canary #black mask #margot robbie #Ewan McGregor #jurnee smollett bell #mary elizabeth winstead #rosie perez #ella jay basco #dceu #movie reviews #film reviews

[asagimeta]

Batwoman: Don’t Believe All The Negativity

So Batwoman premiered tonight

It's about an out-and-proud lesbian, played by an out-and-proud lesbian, with several major cast members- INCLUDING the main love interest- being POC, and it's very gay, this is not your "Power Rangers- let me quietly hint at being gay for One Scene and never mention it again" type of representation, there's lots of kissing, "I love you"s, goofy initial carvings, and serious issues like homophobia in the military and lying about your sexuality to avoid persecution

This is Tumblr bait if I've ever seen it so imagine my surprise when I barely get a few scrolls into the tag and already see people hating on it for not being queer enough because Sophie is married to a man

Hahahha..... I'm pissed

Allow me to advise ya'll to sit down as I explain why this is the OPPOSITE of a problem

First of all I cannot believe that on TUMBLR of all websites I actually have to explain to people that being in a heterosexual relationship- even married- does not automatically cancel out your queer ship

Shows have been putting their charectors through divorces and widowing for decades and it isn't going to stop now, in fact, I'll be THOROUGHLY surprised if The Husband makes it to see the end of the season

But I digress

We'll come back to shipping later because right now I'm going to tackle the biggest problem I have with these "You guys are making her straight!!!!" posts I keep seeing: CLOSETING. DOES NOT. ERASE. QUEERNESS.

I cannot believe I actually have to say this at the home of ships like Destiel, Sterek, and whatever the fuck legion of ships that Voltron produced but being in a straight relationship does not make someone less queer, ESPECIALLY if the relationship is fake, and ESPECIALLY if they have been ALREADY CANONICALLY SHOWN TO BE QUEER

Look I ship Destiel and Sterek and Supercorp too but "closeting" is a THEORY for these ships- with Sophie, it's CANON, she was in a canonical relationship with another girl where she kissed her and said she loved her and planned a future with her and the only reason she's not still with that woman is because was threatened to be kicked out of the military for it, I cannot process how the home of "They're in a straight relationship because they're closeted" is actually trashing this

But even THAT'S irrelevant because I can already hear some of you screaming that you don't ship any of those things but listen to me: Closeted charectors are just as important as out-and-proud charectors are

We live in a world where people are STILL being murdered for their sexuality every single day, where kids are still being sent to conversion therapy, still being kicked out of their houses, still being forced to be in straight relationships out of fear for their LIVES if they aren't- and fear for their jobs, their families, and everything else

I bought my first pride flag yesterday and hung it up today and legitimately my first thought was "gee, I hope this doesn't attract any crazy Trump supporters who are going to light my house on fire" but I did it anyway because I have supportive parents and have NEVER made my sexuality a secret and anyone who talks to me for ten minutes is PROBABLY going to hear atleast 1 "lol I'm bi" joke and I haven't been threatened with bodily harm for it YET so I figure I'll atleast probably live through the night

Other people aren't that lucky

For as important as it is for out people to have our Kate Kanes, it's JUST as important for closeted people to have their Sophie Moores

Please don't take away from the fact that the CW is trying to give that to people just because it means The Ship isn't happening Right Here Right Now

Please don't try to take away Sophie's queer identity because of being closeted

This plot development gurantees us atleast a season of Sophie exploring her identity and circling back to the question of "Do I really value being a member of something that's going to hate me for who I am over the woman I love?", we're going to have a season of her exploring what her identity means to her and we're going to get a really great juxtaposition between one lesbian who's out and proud and telling the story of pining for a lost love and how to navigate Queer Problems being out, and another who's closeted and afraid and in love but doesn't think she can return and how to navigate Queer Problems being closeted

That's GREAT??????

Why are ya'll complaining??????????

That's not something that we get very often???????

Also by arranging Sophie's story this way the CW is trying to AVOID giving us the same problems we always complain about like tokenism and Burry Your Gays, let's be totally honest here, if Kate and Sophie started off in a happy relationship and stayed that way through the beginning of the show, then for Conflict Reasons something way worse was going to have to come along and ruin that- like, you know, probably death? Or cheating, or a petty fight, or Sophie being evil....

This gives us a really NUANCED reason for why there's a story of pining and trying to get back to eachother here

Much like Alex and Maggie in Supergirl, the writers were clearly trying to take care to give us what we needed from a plot standpoint WITHOUT shoving gross stereotypes and tropes down our throats or making one person out to be The Bad Guy in the relationship, because yes you can read Sophie that way, but I think anyone who's ever been closeted can probably sympathize with her about this, esepcially as we don't know the nature of her home life, yes she signed the Gay Lie Document so she could be in the military but we don't have any indication that that was her only reason for giving Kate up so easily

For all we know, going home with Kate may not have ever been an option to begin with

And it's really hard to blame someone for risking their life and the life of their partner for wanting to be Out, especially if they were raised to believe that queer = bad, but I'm getting off topic

Instead of doing what alot of superhero stories do and fridging Sophie- making Kate's reason for doning the cowl to be revenge for her dead lover, they gave us somethin much tamer, something that will last all season but without lowering the number of main queer charectors on the show, they used the same trope that The Straights always use about becoming a superhero For Love but they did us one better because The Girlfreind isn't dead like she would have been in.... SOME.... stories....

But I promised to get back to shipping and here we go-

Aside from the fact that they're priming The Husband to get killed off early on just by virtue of existing (an unimportant charector who will greatly emotionally impact the love interest and create an opportunity for her to pursue the main protagonist, possibly even becoming a hero or a vigilante in her own right for revenge) there's also the fact that Sophie is hardly Kate's only chance at a relationship

If I'm not mistaken, they've already cast Renee` Montoya, and Maggie Sawyer already has an established charector in the Arrowverse too, so if the actress ever wanted to dip her toes back into the superhero waters, she could appear for a bit of time as well- wich would also be prime subplot territory for the next crossover, considering her history with Alex Danvers on Supergirl

So even IF they damned poor Sophie to Straight Hell for the rest of eternity- and I HIGHLY doubt that- do you really think that a show on the CW that opened with a love story is just going to let it's lead go without a love story for the foreseeable future...?

They're giving us a queer-lead show, wich means that it's going to be open to the same "UGH" romance moments that every other show on TV has, they're probably not going to give us an easy ride just because this one is gay like we get out of the background relationships in other shows where the leads are straight and I honestly appreciate that

Sure, I'd love if Kate got the Yuri On Ice treatment where she was able to maintain a steady romance through the entire show with only very short-lived, very easy-to-resolve conflicts ever denting it- I'd love that for alot of shows actually, imagine all of the plot that could get done if the relationships weren't being killed off or broken up every five minutes- but I appreciate as a queer person that she's probably going to get a gallery of love interests just like every STRAIGHT protagonist gets and I'm happy for her, in that respect

But my point in all of this is just that... guys... we finally have it

We have a show lead by a queer actor playing a queer charector who isn't going to get straight-washed or muted down the line because issues of homophobia and her sexuality are coming up in the very first episode.... and ya'll are complaining because her love interest is in the closet and married to a dude to stay that way as if that ever stopped any ship on any show ever??? Really?

TL;DR: Batwoman is great and if she and Sophie WERE in a happy and stable relationship ya'll would just complain about the show being "boring" and not actually working to examine queer relationships so I guess there really is no winning with the people on this website

#Batwoman #Sophie Moore #Kate Kane #lgbtq+ #Batwoman spoilers #DC #Arrowverse

[takaraphoenix]

Did you watch batwoman? If so, what are your thoughts?

Yes, I just did. Now, I do have to preface this with: I’m a huge lesbian.

And that preface is important, because I watch different properties with different levels of leeway. Say, a show with a female lead already gets away with more things, but if you give me a show with a lesbian lead character, and not just “one of the group of main characters is a lesbian”, but “the titular only main character is a lesbian”, then you’re just... getting all the bonus points and you already have me about 150% more enthusiastic than your usual Straight White Male lead does.

So, that had to be said because I look at this with very rosy-tinted happy gay glasses.

Now, that being said: I LOVE IT I LOVE IT I LOVE IT I LOVE IT. *vibrates at high frequency*

Ruby Rose is amazing and I love her and when she puts on the Bat-suit that’s like that’s my sexuality. Seriously! The action, the acting, the look, it’s perfect, I love it. *fans self*

And I love her sister! Uh, the stepsister, not the blood-sister. I thought she was just going to be an airheaded rich girl character, or at the very least take A While to develop like Thea Queen did, but nope, she’s a doctor and she runs her own secret underground clinic to help the poor. What a damn badass. Can’t wait for her to be in on the secret and to join the team, which she inevitably will.

Now about that blood-sister. Urgh, I love Alice in Wonderland so to have an Alice themed villain is great. And, sure, I’m aware she’s comic-canon, but she’s not been in any recent major adaptations - those just circle through the Joker, the Riddler, the Penguin. Which I all do not like. In fact, I don’t like the majority of Bat’s rogues gallery - and I know I’m the exception there because most people overhype Bat’s villains so so much. But the fact that The Iconic Batman lays in the past in this show means that his most major villains do too, the fact that they fully remove Bruce from the show makes me hopeful I will not have to see anything Joker related at all seriously I am very much over that creep. That seems like something incredibly refreshing to me that I, personally, am very much looking forward. Not to mention that the sibling dynamic is going to make this incredibly interesting!

And oh! Oh that Kate figured it out by the end of the first episode?? Wow! I thought the “Who the fuck is Alice?” plot would at the very least stretch out until say half-time on the first season to keep the ““suspense”“... because that’s kind of what the Arrowverse does. Even way past being reasonable, they still pretend that the good guys can’t figure out the villain’s identity, even when it is painfully obvious at times and I am very happy to know that this won’t be the case here! That Kate is a clever cookie who indeed can put one and one together in record time! That has me highly optimistic about where this show is going to go.

Now, there is one thing that... kind of... bums me out a little and that’s the costume and design choices made on Luke Fox? Because, uh, Luke Fox is a strong, athletic guy who can kick butt. That’s how I first met him in Bad Blood and that’s what Google image search tells me about his comic-counter part too.

So this inane compulsion to make The Tech Guy wear tacky sweaters over button-up shirts (a style that literally only nerds wear on TV??) and of course wear glasses... and also be really squeaky and jumpy... just why. You didn’t have to go this hard to make sure he is The Nerd Guy. You really didn’t, because source material shows you he actually isn’t that type. That’s the weird part for me? Like, this character specifically wasn’t the nerd stereotype, so I don’t quite know why they felt the need to change him into one??

I’m wary of Sophie and Kate’s relationship. I need someone with inside knowledge to tell me that Sophie is bisexual, or pansexual, but just... not a lesbian. Because if this is going to be “out and proud lesbian chases after closeted lesbian who is about to marry her beard” I may have to head-desk a lot. I genuinely hope that where they’re going on that front is a friendship and that Sophie is going to join the team. I really truly want Sophie and Kate to overcome the past and to become friends and not to be a Straight Rom-Com Trope of Sophie choosing Kate just when she’s about to walk down the aisle or some shit because that’s just the most cringey thing possible.

From all I gather, Kate’s endgame is Maggie Sawyer anyway, right? Like, in the context of Kate and romance, there are only two names I have ever really heard and those were Maggie Sawyer and Renee Montoya (who I expect to see on this show sooner or later too).

Really hoping they move Supergirl’s Maggie Sawyer over here, doesn’t have to be the exact character since she’s from an alternate Earth but I mean this Earth’s counterpart would do just fine.

I also hope to see Nyssa al Ghul moved to Batwoman considering Batman’s ties to Ra’s al Ghul and the fact that Nyssa is gonna be homeless once Arrow ends and that another strong badass lesbian character would be amazing in it? After all, last we heard from Nyssa, she was destroying Lazarus pits with Thea and Roy... and you can’t tell me that this quest wouldn’t lead her to Gotham too...

Seriously, I want a lot of gay women on this show. And! Not even just as love interests, but because straight-written gay stories often are “The Gay met The Only Other Gay and they immediately started a relationship with each other because Being Gay is the only thing they need in common to work” and it’s kind of tiresome so I would love for this show, with a lesbian lead character, to actually introduce a variety of wlw characters to actually represent the fact that even we gays do need more than a shared sexuality to work out! That you can have gay friends without dating them and that sometimes, you don’t click, even if you both are gay.

What else aside from the gays, the potential future team (Kate, Luke, Mary, Sophie) and the villain? Ah. Yeah, the parents.

I don’t like Kate’s dad very much yet? Which feels odd because usually in these Arrowverse shows the Cop Dad is always awesome. Granted, he’s not really a cop. But let’s see where he goes.

And stepmom is totally shady? That shot of her reading the newspaper with concerned eyes? Worst case: She was behind the car-accident fifteen years ago. I just... do think that she’s shady somehow.

I’m eager to see what other Bat-elements will make their way into the show, what other characters can translate onto it, considering the “timejump” - the whole Batman having vanished three years ago and being already apparently... older, to say it mildly (he was already working at Wayne Enterprise and a very fully fledged Batman 15 years ago when the accident happened so he’s at the very least in his 50s now).

But! I am absolutely enjoying this show. Even had to put my laptop down to pay full attention to it. I don’t pay full attention to things, I always write fics while watching TV because I like the background noise. I only have/had a small selection of shows that I watch with my full attention on them and I’d be very pleased if Batwoman becomes one of them.

#Batwoman #Arrowverse #DC Comics #Phoe's Random Show Rants #Batwoman Spoilers #I mean duh #Anonymous

[bracefacefreak]

Beware long post below. Just some thoughts I had whilst I was re-reading twilight...... 

1) Sarcastic Bella is love. Sarcastic Bella is life. 2)  No one can take away my headcanon black!Emmett with gorgeous tightly curled hair. Plus this means that he can totally teach Jasper about racism and why fighting for the Confederates was WRONG and they can support anti-racism charities together.  3) Jess’s little comment about Esme not being able to have children makes me so sad. 4) Ok, so Carlisle is a freaking surgeon. Like he spends his days elbows deep in people’s abdominal cavities. I have even more respect for him now if that’s possible.  5) Charlie’s lil crush on the Cullens is tots cute.  6) Wasted vampire trope #1 - the base instinctual fear that all human characters have around vampires, even though they can’t understand it.  7) Apparently Alice doesn’t give a shit about appearing human 8) Cute sibling moments-why didn’t we get these in the films? 9) What was the whole ‘electric current’ sensation that passed between Edward and Bella in science class? Is that ever explained? Do vampires conduct electricity now?  10) God damn it Charlie Swan, stop being precious. Also the fact Bella gets so choked up about her dad putting snow chains on her truck makes me so sad. Poor girl. 

11) “No blood, no foul.” Not even trying to subtle are you Edward.  12) “...the doctor was in on it.” Literally almost fell over laughing. Poor darling Carlisle.  13) God, I forget all the angry scowling and even angrier silences.  14) I fucking love Bella’s petty inner monologue about rear-ending Ed’s volvo. Girl after my own heart.  15) Sam Uley-totally forgot he was only 19!  20) So Carlisle has been coming to forks for centuries. Even before the first settlers reached there. Interesting little fact nugget.  21) Angela is GAY! FFS Smeyer.  22) Bella’s equally petty inner monologue about non-fatally wounding Tyler so he can’t take her to the dance. This girl is a mood.  23) You know Emmett absolutely rinsed Edward about all his mooning and pining during their hunting trip. I’m talking about made up ridiculous cringe-worthy joke poetry about Bella’s eyebrows and some rather grotesque smooching faces.  24) “We all like to drive fast.” I totally headcanon that Esme is a fucking terrifying driver, after all she has shit to do-crazy vamp kids to keep in check, houses to restore, a very pretty husband to bone.  25) So much unsubtle foreshadowing. 26) “Grizzly is Emmett’s favourite.” This is 100% Emmett’s revenge on bear-kind for his almost-demise.  27) Wasted vampire trope #2 - vampires are able to communicate in tones too low and too high for humans to hear. Other animals however are a different matter. It’s not unusual for private conversation to be interrupted by baying dogs and the irritated meows of cats.  28) Why can Bella see blue veins in Edward’s arms? He doesn’t have blood? Did you even proofread this Smeyer? 29) Edward’s fears about facing Esme - I can just imagine Carlisle coming home to find Esme holding Edward there in a headlock, before looking up and saying your father’s here now, lets talk. Also poor Carlisle having to face Esme that evening and tell her Ed’s gone.  30) Wasted vampire trope #3 - the what Edward talks about his human feelings being hidden deep beneath his stronger vampire ones. I don’t feel we get to see much of this except for a few episodes of over-protectiveness and growling. This could have been much more interesting.  31) I would pay good money to hear more about Carlisle and Esme’s increasingly ridiculous and disastrous plots to try and get Edward and Rosalie together.  I mean we think of them as the wise, mature adults but we all know that the Cullen children get some of their crazy from their parents.  32) I want an AU where Alice didn’t get her visions of Jasper and the Cullens and went absolutely feral, when the Cullens do run into her it’s as an enemy who they eventually persuade to their way of life.....or not.  33) Jasper’s gift is absolutely terrifying....I mean being able to manipulate people’s emotions, get them to feel what you want and by extension behave as you want. Ed even says he can use it on a crowd. That’s like supervillain level.  34) “You are mythical after all.” Ok so now I want an extended world of fantasy/horror/mythical beings. I’m talking mermaids/sirens, fay folk, ghosts etc. Make Forks like Gravity Falls or something. Please.  35) Edward whiny bitch Cullen repeatedly asking Bella if she’s going to tell her Dad that he’s her boyfriend. And if you think he stops doing this once their married, you’re wrong.  36) Edward’s forehead kisses are tots something he learned from watching Esme and Carlisle. I will die for this headcanon.  37) Edward tasting Bella’s tears. WTF!? WHY? WHAT AM I READING SMEYER!? 38) Carlisle found a real vampire nest at 23 years of age. He is canonically too clever for his own good. FFS sweety.  39) I forgot how much I enjoyed the part with Carlisle’s backstory. Also my poor bby boy suffered through his transformation without making a single noise. Even human!Carlisle had the self control of a saint.  40) Wasted vampire trope #4 - I know this has been mentioned before but the whole, vampires don’t need to breathe and get no relief from it but do it as habit. What other human habits and sensations do they have which have been altered by their transformation. 41) Aro and Carlisle playing tricks to try and get each other to drink from the other’s food source. It didn’t work cause of vamp smell obviously. I know I write this as if it’s playful, but we all knows Aro was a total bitch about it.  42) Edwin. Charlie Swan you are precious. Never change.  43) WHY DIDN’T WE GET TO SEE ALICE AND EMMETT HOLD HANDS IN THE FILMS! 44) “Occassionally Esme would call them to order.” I would pay good money to see this. Also does ‘ that include them’ include Carlisle? 45) Edward muttering a string of swear words both old and new, in multiple languages under his breath is a mood I recognise.  46) “Esme and Carlisle, they’ll have to leave, to hide forever!”.....”We’ve been there before.” I want this and every story of all the stupid reasons why the Cullens have had to flee the state/country in the past. Carlisle sometimes wonders whether all the trouble is worth it. This never happened when he was on his own. 47) I am unsurprisingly very much in favour of growling, snarling Alice Cullen.  48) Why does Bella have a secret cash hoard?  Is that normal? Is it in case Renee’s dealers turn up demanding money? (Can you tell I’m not a Renee fan.) 49) Of course Esme installed fucking bombproof shutters on their house. My girl is so freaking extra.  50) How many speeding tickets have the Cullens collected over the years?  51) “He seems to stay just far enough away that I can’t hear what he’s thinking..” Was this just coincidence or did James somehow know about Ed’s power? 52) Alice sketches her visions sometimes - it’s something Esme taught her because sometimes her visions are so weird or disturbing or exhausting that Alice can’t voice them herself. So Esme came up with this way to try and help her get it out.  53) Wasted vampire trope #5 - vampires can speak so fast that humans can’t understand them. Just imagine Bella wandering in on a family discussion at the Cullen house and all she can hear is a high pitched squeaking because everyone is talking super fast.  54) Alice’s backstory makes me so sad 55) “Alice had a bit too much fun fabricating the evidence.” Ok, so two things: one, I absolutely wish we could have seen Alice destroying shit and two, I still don’t understand how they managed to convince anyone Bella fell down a flight of stairs, like did they have to push her down the stairs to ensure it looked realistic, did Ed spend ages artistically placing her in a suitable position. How did this work? 56) Also love that everyone just accepted that Bella would fall down stairs and through a window, she’s just that much of a clutz.  57) Also they stole a car and burned down a dance studio. The Cullens should have started a crime family, they wouldn’t have been good at it but it would have been hilarious.  58) Bella should have grown up with Charlie. End of. Renee sucks.  59) Charlie is absolutely crushing on Carlisle and I love it. 

#sorry not sorry #twilight #reread #book #smeyer #mine #my thoughts

[nickireadstfc]

The King’s Men, Chapter 12 – Highway To Hell

In which things go really beautifully well, and then really fucking horrible.

Sounds good? No, it doesn’t. It’s time for Nicki to read The King’s Men.

You guys warned me about this one, and for the entire first half of the chapter I was like “what are they on about, this is wonderful, there’s so many great things happening”, like I was genuinely considering y’all might have had your chapters mixed up.

And then.

Oh god.

Oh god.

Let’s take it from the top, shall we? Let’s go back to a time where things were easy, chill and beautifully gay.

(Also, welcome to yet another 3k word dump, because this chapter is an absolute monster.)

The Foxes are on the road to Binghamton, their next big opponent before semi-finals. And less than half a page in, the first miracle of the day happens – or rather, the first miracle of the Day:

The monsters voluntarily and easily socialize with the rest of the team, led by none other than Kevin.

Granted, it’s to talk Exy strategies which, as we know, is Recommended Kevin Bait, but my teamwork-loving heart is not gonna complain.

The best thing about this, though, is that Neil actively refuses to join their sweet sweet Sportsball Talk just to make sure Andrew won’t feel left out.

Excuse me while I cry into my rainbow-coloured jersey.

Linked to that – and we’ve not had these in a while, so I’m proud to present you – Today’s Casually Mentioned, Yet Heartbreakingly Sad Neil Fact is:

             Neil had spent his entire life drifting by on the outskirts, looked over and looked past. It’d made him happy, or so he thought, because being ignored meant he was safe. He hadn’t realized how lonely he was until he met the Foxes.

Uhmm, cue my tears.

Kevin, though, isn’t so happy his favourite minion in training isn’t cooperating:

             “You gave me your game. You don’t have the right to walk away from me when I am trying to teach you.”

             “I gave my game to you so we could get to finals,” Neil sent back, “but you said yesterday you don’t expect us to make it there. You’ve given up on us, so I’m taking my game back. I don’t owe you anything.”

Damn, you tell him, Josten.

Neil has exactly -3 fucks left to give and it’s absolutely glorious.

In other news – we’ve reached the end of the Suspicious Countdown (shoutout here to the anon recreating this in my ask box, you sly fuck).

             Every night since his birthday he’d gotten a number texted to him. Today’s sobering “0” had arrived during lunch. Neil didn’t know what to make of it. (…) It was as anticlimactic as it was nerve-wracking.

Same, my boy. This shit is unnerving.

Well, I’m sure this is absolutely harmless and nothing will happen at all.

To distract himself from the Slight Feeling of Impending Doom, Neil engages in his new favourite pastime:

Adoringly gazing at Andrew’s handsome features like a love-sick pathetic idiot.

             Neil didn’t know what he was looking for. Andrew looked as he always had, and Neil knew his face as well as he knew every iteration of his own. Despite that, something seemed different. Maybe it was the sunlight streaming through the window, making Andrew’s pale hair shine brighter and his hazel eyes seemed almost gold. Whatever it was, it was disorienting.

Oh boy, oh my sweet innocent summer child, I can tell you right fucking exactly what it is.

Your ass is the fuck in love.

             “I’m not doing anything,”

             “I told you to not look at me like that.”

             Neil didn’t understand, so he let it slide.

…… //looks into the camera like I’m on the office.

Any time I think this boy is done being oblivious, he instantly goes back on his bullshit.

Although maybe –

             “I didn’t say anything [when we were talking about zombie apocalypses] because I knew I’d look out for only me when the world went to hell. I don’t want to be that kind of person anymore. I want to go back for you.”

Uhmm, EXCUSE ME WHILE I CRY.

Can these idiots like – fucking stop being sappy and gross, I did not expect this bullshit from them, give a girl some fucking warning.

Jesus fuck.

And they keep going, of course – being on the road to Binghamton reminds Neil of his time Being On The Road, and so he casually tells Andrew all the shit that happened to him on his travels, which of course he never told a single soul before.

Natch.

             It passed the time, though, and Andrew let him ramble. He never once took his eyes of Neil’s face or looked like he was mentally tuning out of the conversation.

Oh yeah, also of course Andrew is a love-sick pathetic idiot as well.

Natch.

And Neil uses that to get Andrew to open up about his travels between foster homes and his time with Aaron, which he also never told anyone before.

Fucking natch.

             [Andrew took] care of Aaron’s addictions. He stocked the upstairs bathroom with canned food and barricaded Aaron in there until he had finished withdrawal. Luckily (…) there were no neighbors close enough to hear Aaron’s best attempts at breaking out.

Andrew Minyard, putting the ‘love’ in ‘tough love’ since 2010.

These brothers are everything, haters please exit in a left-directed fashion.

When they make their next pit stop, Coach doesn’t even make any attempts at separating Andrew and Neil, which brings on one of my favourite bits in this chapter:

Neil’s oblivious ass comes to the realization that Coach Knows™.

             “I really want to know when Coach figured this out.”

             “It isn’t a ‘this’,” Andrew reminded him.

Oh yeah, please also know that every time I’m shouting at Neil to stop being so oblivious this of course also extends to his smaller, deadlier counterpart.

             Last November Neil put Andrew’s hands to his damaged skin and asked Andrew to believe in him. Somehow Wymack had seen right through Neil’s crushing guilt and Andrew’s grudging trust.

Well, if I saw two idiots that have been radiating tension all semester anyways suddenly fumbling under each other’s shirts, I would get suspicious too.

             “How did he see it when Aaron and Nicky still can’t?”

             “Coach doesn’t care for rumours and bias,” Andrew said. “He sees what is, not what people want him to see.”

Which is the reason why David Fucking Hufflepuff Dad Wymack is the best damn character in this series, no questions asked, no other opinions accepted. Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

I need more Wymack love in this fandom always.

In related news, though – apparently the upperclassmen are betting on Neil’s sexuality, which is just about the best thing ever. Also, heck yeah, I called it.

Apparently, they’re split down the middle. In my book, this means Matt and Allison betting on Gay Neil, while Dan and Renee bet on Straight Neil.

(You’d think Renee would bet on Gay Neil since she’s subject to Andreil Pining every practice break, but nope – you can’t tell me Allison Reynolds, Lipstick Bisexual and Bad Bitch Extraordinaire doesn’t have her gaydar on lock.

I rest my case.)

             “It’s a waste of time and money. They’ll all lose. I’ve said all year I don’t swing and I meant it. Kissing you doesn’t make me look at any of them differently. The only one I’m interested in is you.”

I’mma go fling myself into the fucking sun.

Brutally Honest About His Feelings Josten is a very, very good Josten.

Also, someone finally teach this boy the definition of demisexual, please.

             “Don’t say stupid things.”

             “Stop me,” Neil returned. He buried his hands in Andrew’s hair and tugged him in for a kiss.

Happy to report the gays are back at it again.

Nothing like some fun backseat fondling before a big game, because sooner than thought they’ve arrived at Binghamton and their asses are in for a fun game of Orange Spotsball.

Did I say fun? I mean fucking stressful.

Almost-cards left and right, balls thrown in unholy places, all remaining chill has fucking evaporated.

But as always, when Sportsball Times get tough, there is one thing we can count on:

Andrew’s willingness to do kind of everything if Neil asks nicely.

             “I’m asking you to help us,” Neil said. “Will you?”

             Andrew considered it for a moment. “Not for free.”

             “Anything,” Neil promised, and stepped back to take his place in line again.

             Neil didn’t exactly know what he’d gotten himself into, but he honestly didn’t care, because Andrew delivered exactly what Neil wanted him to.

Which, in this case, means trashtalking every opposite player that comes close to his goal and fiercely fending off Exy balls as if they’re straight thoughts.

HEEEELL YEAH.

Also, I’m totally sure this promise won’t come back to haunt us ever again.

With Andrew kicking some major Bearcat butt in the back and Neil and Kevin fucking shit up in the front as per usual, the Foxes reign home a glorious close win! Celebration all around!

Girl dancing gif

And I’m sure there is exactly nothing at all that can go wrong now.

             Neil was halfway to the door when his phone hummed (…) He didn’t recognize the phone number, but he didn’t have to. He knew that 443 area code.

             Baltimore was calling.

Well, tits.

             “Hello?”

             “Hello, Junior. Do you remember me?”

             Neil’s heart lurched to a sick halt. (…) It was Lola Malcolm, one of his father’s closest people.

LOLA.

I’ve heard that name before. I swear to fuck I’ve heard that name before. Was she mentioned already? Did I just read it somewhere on tumblr? Whatever it is, I know that she’s not fucking fun.

We’re in deep, deep shit, people.

             “Are you listening? It is time to go. If you make this difficult for us, you will regret it for the rest of your very short life.”

Hell fucking no, lady. You can take that dramatic ass attitude and stick it right up your ugly butt.

Neil agrees with me:

             Fast on the heels of fright was an irrational and wild anger. He was halfway of winning Andrew’s trust, a weekend  from his first vacation, and one month from semi-finals. There were only four matches left in championships. Neil was so close to everything he wanted and Lola was here to steal it away.

             “Put a hand on me and you’ll regret it,” Neil said.

HELL YEAH.

Fuck this, fuck all of it, she is not getting us this easily.

We came so close, so close, and we are not here to have this taken away.

             “[Your father] is in Baltimore,” she corrected him. “His parole hearing was on your birthday. (…) We can’t kill [the Foxes], but we can hurt them. You’ll see.” (…)

             Jackson Plank was in the locker room with his team. A second later Romero Malcolm stepped into view in a similar [security guard] getup.

… Maybe we are here to have this taken away.

Hey, remember how literally a few pages earlier Neil said he wouldn’t save the Foxes, only himself, in an apocalypse scenario?

I’d like to call heartfelt bullshit on that.

             The five feet between Neil and his team could have been five thousand miles.  Looking at them all, Neil was as sad as he was proud. (…) He was sorry to leave them with all of his lies, sorry they’d have to get the truth from Kevin after the fact. They were all right here with him still but he missed them with a ferocity that threatened to turn him inside-out.

Also known as: The moment literal tears started to form in the corners of my eyes.

I say “omg I’m crying” a lot, but I very rarely shed actual tears. This was a moment that came close.

The last moment Neil gets to look at his team before being literally kidnapped, the moment he loves them more than ever, ever before, and they all have absolutely no idea what’s about to happen.

And it gets worse.

             Only Andrew saw the strain in Neil’s mask. (…)

             “Thank you,” Neil finally said. He couldn’t say he meant thanks for all of it: the keys, the trust, the honesty, and the kisses. Hopefully Andrew would figure it out eventually. “You were amazing.”

I’m so emotional. I’m so, so goddamn emotional. I can’t handle this.

I feel like this is as close to a love confession as we’re ever gonna get, and I’m not handling anything right now.

Deep breaths, Nicki. Deep breaths.

(Disclaimer: I’m not actually expecting Neil to die in Baltimore. I know this book has five more chapters and I know Nora is not killing off her protagonist, come on. But I am expecting some awful, awful shit to go down, like “way worse than the Raven’s Nest” shit, like “changes the game forever” shit, like just some majorly fucked up shit that I am very much not here for. And so let me treasure those last moments – not because we won’t come back, but because we won’t come back the same way we’re leaving right now.)

And with that, we’re off – kidnapped away in a whirlwind of fan riots outside, handcuffed and chained to the inside of a car, zooming along the highway off to god knows where, and now comes the moment where I understood why y’all were warning me about this chapter.

Aside from beginning to cut up his fucking hand as soon as they get in the car (really, what the fuck is it with this mob and knives), Lola has certain opinions about Neil’s facial tramp stamp.

             “I can’t take you before your father with such a stain on your face. Rome?” (…)

             Soon enough the dashboard cigarette lighter popped free of its lock with a metallic cling.

WHAT THE FUCK.

WHAT THE ABSOLUTE FUCK.

And with that – the bitch burns Neil’s tattoo off.

SHE BURNS.

NEIL’S.

TATTOO.

OFF.

And not enough with that, she also presses her knife into his other cheek so he can’t draw back without literally cutting himself open.

What the absolute everloving shit. I literally sat shellshocked for a good ten seconds that that.

But oh, my friends, it gets worse – because apparently they also gotta question Neil about the whereabouts of his dear mom, and “she’s dead” of course isn’t a satisfying answer.

And when they’re done with his mom, they move on to questions about the Foxes.

And when they’re done with his face, they move on to his arms.

I will never, never be able to look at a car cigarette lighter the same way again.

             He didn’t want to think about this, didn’t want to feel this, so he thought about thr Foxes instead. He clung tight to the memory of their unhesitating friendship and their smiles. (…) The memories made him weak with grief and loss, but they made him stronger, too. He’d come to the Foxhole Court every inch a lie, but his friends made him into someone real.

More wet eyes. Such wet fucking eyes over here right now.

I’M NOT HANDLING THIS.

STOP IT.

             He’d hit the end of his rope before he wanted to and he hadn’t accomplished everything he’d hoped to this year, but he had done more with his life than he’d ever thought possible. That had to be enough. He traced the outline of a key into his bloody, burnt palm with a shaky finger, closed his eyes, and wished Neil Josten goodbye.

Oh my god.

             Nathaniel Wesninski let the last few miles fly by unnoticed.

OH MY GOD.

This is both super painful and super genius and I am FUCKING SHOOK.

STRONG YELLING, YOU GUYS.

             The worst injuries were the ones on his face, but the mess Lola made of his hands was the most inconvenient. It’d be hard to fight back when even the slightest twitch of his fingers made his hands ache.

Oh yeah, also by now we’re back to being Human Punching Bag Neil Josten.

Well. It’s rather Human Punching Bag Nathaniel Wesninski now, right?

             Nathaniel closed his eyes against the pitch black that threatened to swallow him whole. Lola smiled against his cheek and bit at his burns.

Y’all for real what the fuck is wrong with this woman.

Petition for her to decease right this very second, thank you.

And after that, Lola chloroforms him and drags him into to the house of his father, a literal Abusive People-Butchering Mob Head.

You guys. You guys. We’re in completely new uncharted waters now, and I have no idea what the hell is about to happen.

I both don’t want this to continue and really, really can’t fucking wait for this to continue.

If you like what I do here and you want to help me through the heartbreak of this chapter, why not buy me a coffee? Every lil bit helps, getting me through uni and all that jazz. Thanks so much!

#tfc #aftg #the foxhole court #all for the game #andreil #tkm #the king's men #nicki reads tfc #TWO UPDATES IN THREE DAYS #AREN'T YALL IN LUCK #don't get used to it this is me boosting ahead bc I'll be busy out of my head till next week aha ha ha #hope you like!!! #come cry in my inbox if ya wanna

[agameofsouls]

♥ so i’ve been doing tumblr rp now for seven slutty, slutty years and i’ve never done a follow forever and i’m gay so let me do this k thanks ♥

♥ my main bitches ♥

♥ @dusttcdusk // y’all already fuckin know how i feel about her. we’re partners in real estate and partners in life, and we’re common law married at this point and nothing anyone says will change that. without her, my life would be empty, and that’s that. there’s honestly no me if she’s not around. aside from that, her muses are fantastic and she is an incredible writer, and plotting with her is hella fun. do yourself a favor and be friends with her because she is the light of so many lives!

♥ @mothersin // look, i’m gonna let you finish, but my girl right here? best lilith OF ALL TIME. OF ALL TIME. seriously, i don’t make friends all that easy, but she’s become an irreplaceable part of my friend group, and we are lucky to have her. she is understanding, fun, loves documentaries, puts up with our shit, and plotting and world building with her is really fucking awesome. her writing is amazing, and everything she does drips with gold because that’s how good she is, okay. give her every love, because she deserves it ( also can be found on @deathquiet and also @goldenhips )

♥ @mephistcpheles // THIS BITCH. i love her SO MUCH. look, we’ve been friends for a while, and i love her with my whole heart. she’s hilarious, amazing to talk to, and hoenestly? the fact that she can deal with my bullshit means she is probably up for anything. her muses are fantastic as well, and i first fell in love with her on her meph account, and have recently got to interact with pris, and they are both amazing and well written, and i love seeing what she does. love her or else k thanks!!! ( also can be found on @gravesofgold )

♥ @praedatum // PAL!!! yo, ryan is a good friend, and really easy to talk to. he’s another rp friend i’ve known for years, and always love to write with. he’s also funny, and easy going with all of the chaos and bullshit that christina and i throw at him, and adds to it as well with his own great ideas. his muses are all interesting and fun to write with, and his writing style is honestly really fucking neat and interesting. i’m never bored when i write with him, and you won’t be either so go give him love and plot with him bc it is an experience!!

♥ @alwaysaweapon // my love for you is as deep as the oceans. you were my first real rp partner, and one of my closest friends around. you really helped shape me as a writer, and your friendship has been one of the most comforting things over these past seven years. i love you, and i love your family, and i’m still so happy to have watched you find your true love and happiness in life. i love you, and i love to write and plot with you, and i’m so glad you’re back at rp!! 

♥ my baes ♥

♥ @thickcrskiin // JANET!!!!! the fact that you go along with so much of the bullshit that we throw at you and still like us means the world to me. i really love to write and plot with you, and our interactions have been really fun! i can’t wait to continue with some of the stuff we’ve talked about, because it’s gonna be GOOD.

♥ @deathfound // oh my god oh my god oh my god i love cassie so much! she’s adorable, and i love our interactions. someday i hope we can plot together more, because it’s been a joy to write even small things with you!

♥ @delabor // I’M FUCKING YELLING okay i love samael so much, even though he’s kind of a butt head, but that’s what makes interacting with him so fun. everything you do is hilarious, please never stop.

♥ @reignofolympus // RENEE I LOVE YOU. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH. i love zeus, and i love how much you love him. your portrayals and headcanons are life changing, miracle arranging. i recently read some of our past interactions and choked because they made me laugh so hard. i’ve missed you, and i love you, and you’re the best okay?! the best.

♥ @seaprofound // i adore your portrayal and headcanons involving poseidon! you’re hilarious to talk to, and before we were mutuals, i used to admire you from afar. you’re a delight to talk to, and i hope we can get into more bullshit soon because p a l it’s FUN.

♥ @willbeshot // I KNOW WE’VE HARDLY TALKED OR INTERACTED BUT LOOK. the fable series were my first video games i ever got into, and i have such fond memories of the characters. your portrayal of reaver is incredible and i adore it. i hope we can plot together sometime. until then, i’ll continue to watch with heart eyes.

♥ @beautyveined // I LOVE YOU SO MUCH! i love being able to talk about ares and dite with you, and world build our royals au. you’re so creative, and i really enjoy your portrayal of aphrodite so much!!!! i’ve got some giant heart eyes for you, and so does ares.

♥ @patervenandi // libby, i am so glad i’ve got to know you and write with you. you’re hilarious, and i love that you go along with our bullshit so much, and help make it even more dramatic. your adam is top notch, and i truly love him so much!!! 

♥ @drakainas // I LOVE YOUR PORTRAYAL OF DANY SO MUCH and i love the things we’ve talked and plotted about!!! your writing is incredible, and i honestly can’t believe we’re mutuals because you’re such a quality writer. i literally cannot BELIEVE it!!!

♥ the rest of my fam ♥

♥ @letagin ♥ @crawleigh ♥ @venusiiian ♥ @stvrvcined ♥ @hellfirebound ♥ @ofspellbooksandswords ♥ @monstershuntingmonsters ♥ @radishflower ♥ @murderasscience ♥ @vireous ♥ @vindictiveolympianqueen ♥ @staarryniights ♥ @lcstinthewoods ♥ @noblerage ♥ @notaseamonster ♥ @demonbitch ♥ @thegcldheart ♥ @squadleadcr ♥ @worldfathered ♥ @valadhxfndr ♥ @vagrantwitch ♥ @sufferavvitch ♥ @rlyehbound ♥ @stalkingthestars ♥ @asgardianhammer ♥ @intellxctual ♥ @fracturedmonster ♥ @abandonedbyheaven ♥ @oldwcunds ♥ @wcrriorisms ♥ @supxrbiia ♥ @overyourhubris ♥ @kissofthemuses ♥ @personatvs ♥ @hearthowled ♥ @deniedprayer ♥ @belluaa ♥ @vitapurgatorium ♥ @loyaltywon ♥ @daemonxs ♥ @classifiedborn ♥

#( out of character ) #( promos ) #look i love all of you #long post cw #slides on my heelies to escape these feelies #bye bye

[psycheverse-of]

Title: The One Who Is Loved. Author: a teenaged Amber Renee POV: second Summary: Brighton is a fuck up. He’s in this college, full scholarship, everything his way, but he is too fucked up to notice. Drugs are his vice, they keep him going. Well, besides the loyal Spencer who plays the bestfriend and secret crush. And if you think Brighton isnt beating himself up about this newfound gay curve, you’d be wrong. Warnings: drug use. brief mention of noncon sex.  Authors note: idunno, okay? I have this fucked up little character in my head, and he wanted his story told. i present him…

.

.

.

Hi. My name is Unimportant, and i will wreck your life.

Hi. My name is Unimportant, and i’m a fuck up.

I have a lamp above my desk, it’s bright and hot and makes me think of the desert. I go to the desert a lot. It’s big and bright and hot. Except for when i go at night and then it’s not. And nothing can ever be what it says it is for long. Deserts just seem bright and hot, a lamp, but they get cold and dark too.

I flip the lamp off and leave my room.

I have a living room, do you have one? What do you use yours for? I have 5 lines of coke in mine, and I usually just pass out in it. Is that what you do? Its what i do. Anyway, i walk into my living room (and what do i do besides die in it?) I walk in and think ‘how much do i want to take?’

cont.

I want three. Three beautiful, wonderful, burning lines of coke to breathe in, please. Drive to the next window!

I get to my knees, hands on the cool coffee-coke table and inhaleinhaleinhale. i forget about the world for a few minutes, and suddenly the walls of my apartment are colorful! This isnt the mental hospital i thought it to be for those few moments.

I jump up, struck by genius, and back under the desert lamp and computer. I Am An English Student. i read books that use old english, and write things that take days. But right now, i’ve been on writers block, hence the coke, not that i need the excuse. If i dont do well enough i could loose my scholarship. i giggle, man i’m stressed.

Smiling to myself, i type, type, type and wipe blood off my nose.

i wanna dieeeeee. i wanna dieeeeee. please give me an A, mister teacherrr!

I get a big fat F, so i take more coke and i forget all about it.

——-

I know. I know i’m fucking addicted. I’m fucked up, but i’m not an idiot. How do i tell? How do I know?

——–

“Hello Brighton.” Oh yeah, that’s my name. I’m not just Unimportant. No, I’m also Brighton “the one who is loved.”

That’s what i mean. My name. I am supposed to be the one that’s loved. Where does that leave everyone else? What makes me so fucking lucky? Why cant Tom or Drew or Sammy be loved, huh? And anyway, it’s not like its real. Its not like i’m real.

“Hiiiii Youuuuuuu!” I smile, and laugh and it’s dark. The desert is cold, so fucking cold but i dont feel it. Nope, i’m in tight jeans, a T-shirt and fingerless gloves but i dont feel a damn thing.

“…What did you take?”

“ABCD EEEEEEEEEEEEE!” Clever. I have to be clever, i’m so clever, “I’m so clever right?” I laugh and laugh until the stars blur into one big ball of fire, and i wish it were my birthday so i could blow them out.

“Oh, Bright. I wish you wouldnt,” I hear your voice and it’s so sad, why are you so sad? The birthday candles are for you, you, you!

“It’s your birthday! Make a wish!” I laugh and clap and you’re leading me back upstairs, why?

“I wish you’d stop.”

I’ll stop when the world stops.

“I love you” I do, I do, I do, I do.

“Go to sleep, Bright. I’ll see you in the morning,” But we go together like the desert and my lamp. Similar, but completely different.

We dont go together, but you sing me to sleep.

(*)

I wake up to a bright headache and a heavy dose of reality seeping through my window. Not okay.

I groan, not okay, and roll off the bed thumping tp the floor. Not okay. I dont even stand. Just crawl, crawl to the desk with the lamp. The desert lamp. I crawl, not okay, and make grabby hands towards the drawer. I pull out its contents, groaning again and lean against the wall. I curl my legs towards my chest, not okay, I light up.

Wake 'n Bake.

I’m okay.

——–

It’s bright outside. Wow, is it always bright here? It’s so bright. I hate it. I hate Bright.

“I hate you, sun,” I singsong. I lift my hands up, feeling my string bracelets fall lower on tired arms, feeling my fingers spread out, feeling. I hate you son.

I drop my hands, bracelets follow, lining up in order once again, where they belong. Time to Be Responsible. Time to Go To Class.

The path to my class is short, too short and it’s too hot. It’s so hot. Sweltering. Vocabulary word. Definition? My life. Overwhelming.

Out Of Control.

The path is short, the building is tall, I follow the steep line of it with my whole head, black hair shifting from out of my eyes with the effort. Tall, tall, tall. You know what? I bet you, I bet nothing bothers this building. It’s strong and it’s big and it’s fucking tall. Really tall. Think of something tall.

Taller then that.

I’m still looking up, up, up when i get shoved from behind. It’s slow, stumbling forward, and then wrenched back.

“You dick,” The words climb out of Smaller-Then-Building-Boy’s mouth and dance around my head. It’s bright yellow. It hurts my eyes it’s so bright. I dont respond. The yellow distracts me, “Hey, anyone in there? Think you can get my girl wasted and then take advantage of her? And not get punished, huh asshole?” The colors are changing. Their hue is lifting, darkening with intent. Red, Redder, flashing, bleeding.

I open my eyes and the talltall building is looking down on me. I look straight and the sun I hate smiles down at me. Why am I here? I sit up and wipe blood off my face, but it keeps dripping. I feel everything.

My high is wearing off.

I stand up, the building seemingly so much smaller and trudge in. I’m late, I’m bruised, I’m battered but I’m here.

“Mr. Wells, do you have another riveting tale for us today?” Teacher.

“What? No,” I slide into a seat, scratching wearily at my skin.

Fuck, I need a hit.

———

“I heard you got into a fight with Chris.”

“Yup.”

“Over his girl?”

“Yup.”

“You even know her name?”

“Nope.”

“Oh, Brighton,” You sigh wearily. I finally look up to catch your face.

“Sorry,” I whisper, I don’t know if you heard me, and I almost dont want you to. I feel like that’s a part of me, of my heart being cut away. Given to you.

You’re a guy.

Why am i not high?

Oh right. Because I’m with you. Because you “don’t approve”. Because you’re above my shit and I love you. Shit. Shit.

“It’s okay,” So you heard, so you caught my heart. It’s not okay. This isn’t okay but it’s not like I’m primed to stop. I can’t stop.

“Okay,” I say instead and you go back to the video game you’re playing and I’m watching.

That’s fine, and that’s fine. I didnt want your attention anyway. It’s fine, really. I just can’t tear my eyes away from you or the tongue poking out of your lips in concentration. I can’t see what’s happening on screen, but it must be good if your smile is anything to go by. You look so happy, why am i not smiling like that?

So i do, I test it out on my face. It stretches and pulls at my muscles, taunt without their usual stimulant.

“You havent smiled in ages,” You note and I dont stop. Just smile, all teeth, i can feel it. We’re at your place and you have the air on. It’s dark except for the TV, and it’s cold.

I’m okay.

 (*)

 I wake up gasping, nightime. Nightmare. You.

I get up from the bed, your bed. I’m still at your house. Sober. I cant stop shaking and you’re a light sleeper.

“Brigh’?” Mumble, mumble I’m in trouble.

“I have to go,” I feel frantic, my skin feels too hot. Fuck, hot, bright, Brighton, loved. Not okay.

“Wait, wait, Brighton,” You’re sitting up. No, just go back to sleep, please stop. Just stop. Stop. Stop.

“Stop,” My feet are hitting the ground fast before I can think, I’m carried away.  Space growing between us. Outside it’s still dark, but I feel the sun. I can’t always see it, but the bright is always there.

My room in my apartment. Never have peeling walls, dirty floors and a grey existence been such a welcome. I breathe it in, and exhale smoke. Fast forward and I’m hardly here at all. My eyelids are heavy, so heavy, but sleep is a far stretch away. Tingling away from my hands. Sleep is a dream.

Genius.

I sit up and crawl, not okay, to my bedroom, my desk, desertlamp on, my computer. Keyboard waiting for me happily. Type, type, type. I have a paper due in creative lit 3, and my material is dancing before my eyes. Little words like subtitles across the bottom of my lids. There is no sound around me, just the words whispered softly in my ear. Ability at my fingertips.

I feel nothing, I feel everything. I swipe black hair from my eyes, long. A while back I cut my hair after the lead singer of my favorite band. I’m paying for it now, it’s so long.

I feel the words like a gust of air through my transparent body. My overheated skin burned by the desertlamp is cooled and relieved.

I feel.

xx

A- Beautifully written. Powerfully unique. I would like to see you writing lighter topic next time.

I got an A. I got an A, but I’m confused. Topics are topics. They don’t weigh anything. They’re just thoughts. Topics swarm, topics are spoken and traded, and taboo. Are topics heavy also?

Is the simple notion of sleep as a dream too heavy?

What’s the line?

Coke? Pot? Heroine? Crime? Sex? Violence? What’s heavy? Not those.

No, those aren’t topics at all. Those are just vices. Etched into a skin and marring beauty. No, those decay a person; those take over a persons eyes. Those live inside and breed friends similar. No, those aren’t topics. That’s a life.

A life can’t be heavy. A life can drag, and split but weight had nothing to do about it. Life is imprinted with heavy topics and then let loose on a wandering soul. I imagine that the soul feels naked, empty and cold. I imagine that it is happy with anything that comes along. If you were a lonely soul wouldn’t you be happy a body came to you, asking you to jump in? Asking so much from you –so inexperienced? You’re young, soul that is, and so alone. So alone. You jump in; make room by the heartache and drugs and it feels like home. The life closes up its opening, and you -soul- realize too late. It’s too late.

Not okay.

And now we’re stuck, all of us. In these weightless bodies, next to our vices. Maybe yours isn’t drugs, but you harbor. You live with your vice. You’re body could be a box or a mansion, but inside prowls that vice.

And that’s okay.

A vice isn’t heavy.

A body isn’t heavy.

Souls aren’t heavy.

Innocence. Innocence is heavy.

Innocence follows like a heavy fog, weighing a person down. It’s born in all of us, even you, even me. Innocence weighs more then anyone can hold, we have to let it go. People cling to it, to their “innocence” and you, my heartache, cling to yours so hard it scares me. Let it go. I had to let the weight off of me. I was too weak for the heaviness, for the burden of “innocence”. I let it go. It had dragged me down, and now I’m light. Now, I’m high. See, do you see that play on words? That’s what letting go does. The world gets so many in-betweens. With the darker the world gets it’s no longer black and white. And for all my talk,

I’d give anything for the weight back.

To wake up and not be burdened by colors and between the lines and those and this, but never that and highs and lows, failure, middle ground. To wake up and just be.

I sigh, looking out my window. Void.

It’s nearly Christmas.

 (*)

 “Hey Bright,” You don’t mention my panic attack from the other day, and I’m thankful. I also can hardly understand the English language.

“Spin!” I smile; your face looks lovely today. Yup, it does, does, does.

“You’ve been on something more often then not, as of late.”

“Really? No, no. I’m hardly, I-I’m not really on… anything. I-my. You look pretty today!” I finish grandly, throwing you off guard. Your pretty face looks different.  Wrinkles above your eyebrows, “What’s that?” I point and mimic the expression.

 “My frustrated face,” You answer, and your voice is deeper.

 “Oh. Hey, hey do you think. Do you think a topic can be heavy?”

“Sure. Something no one wants to talk about,” You shrug.

“Oh. Oh, I guess. I didn’t think so. I didn’t. It doesn’t weigh anything-”

“They aren’t talking about weight, Brighton,”

“No, no. No, listen. Listen, it doesn’t weigh anything. And, things that do, they aren’t topics. Those are trivial, y’know?  But, and what people do, what we live for. That thing that we share our lives with, that’s nothing too. That’s just this unforgiving passenger. Or, or maybe even the driver… I don’t know, but point is, it weighs nothing, it takes nothing to carry it. But what I figured out was, was that innocence, how we’re all born with it, that is the heaviest thing a person can carry. It burdens us, it breaks us until we shed it.  It takes nothing to be corrupt, only the strongest can carry innocence like a shield. Do you get what I’m saying?” You’re so strong.

“…And then you say something like that,” You breathe out softly. My fingers itch to touch.

“I’m kinda outta it,” You know, “But I’m sure that wasn’t the answer I was looking for.”

“No. It’s just, when giving up on you seems the only way; you show me why I can’t. How smart you are,” I. Oh.

And you’re looking at me like I’m worth looking at. It feels so good to breathe under your eyesight. This is okay.

Arms. Around me. It takes a minute to click and oh, we’re hugging. Why are we hugging?

“Brighton. Please, just try for me. Please, it’s killing me. Please stop it all.”

My warm fuzzys stop. You’ve never outright asked that of me. It was there, I could feel the plead in every move you made, radiating. But now, it’s vocalized.

Now you’ve done it.

I stop hugging but you cling. Are you crying? Am I crying? I can’t stop, this is bigger then me. I tell you as much.

“Get help, Bright. Get help and get out. Please,” I can’t promise anything, but-

“I-I’ll try?”-maybe.

——–

Sobriety is officially the world’s most overrated thing, ever. It’s two days later, 4 ‘til Christmas. And I’m sorry, but this isn’t working for me.

My face is wet, my body is shaking. I can’t tell what I’m experiencing withdrawals from because I’ve been on them all. You’re gripping me tight, saying words like “love” and “proud” and “Brighton”.  There’s a fog to you. Your sounds penetrate, your words do not. I can’t see you either, but my eyes are probably closed/ I’m really cold.

“Can’t, can’t,” Mumble, mumble.

“Sh, you can, Brighton. You can-”

“Can’t, can’t. I can’t. I-Spencer-can’t,”

“Sleep, relax. So good, Bright,” Fuck, I’m so cold. Fuck, it’s so hot.

This isn’t going to end well, and we both know it.

You have optimism for days.

———

It’s three days later and tomorrow is Christmas.

I can’t get up, I can’t move. This isn’t enough.

My chest hurts, why are you doing this to me?

This is cruel, you are cruel. Staying at my house; by my side, making me food, warming my body. How dare you?

I’m feeling better though, I must admit. I’m not shaking nearly as hard and my eyes can open again. I still want it. Fuck, I want so much it feels like I’m going to explode with pure need of an absolution.

“Bright,” Yes? “Brighton, I have to visit my parents tomorrow morning. Think you can handle yourself for that long?” Is this all you think of me?

Am I just a… child? A child for you to fuss over, to coo over, to hold my hand when I fall and pick back up?  Is that all? You’re an angel in my eyes. You’re the greatest good there is, pure innocence in human form, strong to hold it.  That’s what you are; you are so close to perfection. I am a child.

“Go ahead,” I’ll show you child.

———

“I was starting to worry about you, kid.”

“Just a quick vacation off,” I assure. My eyes are flickering around the dim apartment, home away from home.

“Come in, come in. Merry Christmas,” His laugher feels hollow. It doesn’t just seem. Like, I can feel this. Feel the empty space where the meaning behind it would be.

I wander in, and you cross my mind. I can’t pinpoint why I’m doing this to myself, to you. The moment you bid me goodbye, I was out like a light, shoes on and headed to where my vices materialize. To this hole in the wall, hole in my heart. Fuck, this place is so dirty.

I am so dirty.

“Come in, I said,” Right, right. I take my small steps in, room opening up before me, and “Take a seat kid,” Kid. Kid. Kid.

I’m always a kid to this guy, but I’ve never felt more young. I’m hardly this adult I’m supposed to be. Although, I’m hardly an adult legally, but point in case; I am. I am, but I’m not. I’m so not.

“What’s good?” His opinion was always good. Revert to old habits, I suppose. Fuck, I’m thinking way too much, “Anything to clear my mind?”

“Fer sure, kid,” He smiles slow and snake-like, same as always. I’ll be leaving here doped up, “You know the price,” I do. I know, but it kills a part of me every time. And actually, I’m pretty sure it killed me the first time and now he’s just chipping away at the remains. My throat feels dry, my heart is pounding and for someone so dead, I sure do feel.

Dark rooms, and a shove towards my hell.

Sleep is a dream.

…

As soon as possible I’m out of there too. Kid fresh out of a candy store, pockets bulging with sweets.  I wrap my sweatshirt closer around my frame and think about you again. (Always) You would hate me if you knew. If you knew how I fuel this obsession, and that it is so wrong and I am so wring. I want to stop, I’ve never wanted that so bad.

I feel dizzy as I enter my apartment again, and with no drugs my thoughts come cleaner. Nothing as fragmented or ridiculous. Well, maybe a little, but I think that’s just me.

…Maybe…that’s…just…

me.

The powder I was measuring splatters with realization, but. I don’t. Care. I don’t. I- me. Me. It’s… I can decipher myself within this…. this shell. I have lines around me, a joint ready to be rolled, I have myself. I blink. I blink again. And I can’t breathe, but I’m inhaling steadily. I don’t want this. Well, I do, I still feel the pull, but mentally I don’t want this. This vice.

The door opens. You. You wont understand, you’ll jump to conclusions. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. I jump up from kneeling, frantic. Got to hide it, all of it. Flush it, ignore it, pretend. Please don’t see!

“Het Bright, I got you…” You trail off. You’re not looking at me, no. You’re staring angrily at the whit dust on the table. It’s not what it looks like!

“No,” I whisper. It’s not what it looks like! I wanted the escape, the crutch, I needed it then. I gave up myself, my body to someone and to these drugs. I know. I know, okay? But, but, I didn’t! I don’t want to! I was weak, I was… a child. I’m done. Please, please, I want to grow up! I want this to end! Please, “Spencer,”

Your eyes flick to mine, watery. Both. I want you to understand, but I can’t get the words on my side. I can’t. I can’t.  

“Why?” You croak, “Why are you killing me?” No! No, that’s the last thing I wanted. Blame.

“No! Spencer. No, I-I. I didn’t…I couldn’t…I flushed them…weal…didn’t…want…flushed…I can feel me, now. I don’t want that to stop… I don’t want you… to go. Didn’t…swear,” I stumble my words, and to you, arms outstretched. I grab you before you can go, grab you tight and cling.”

I’m so sorry.

I don’t ever want to lose you.

I don’t ever want to lose me, again.

Don’t leave me with my vices.

I’m scared.

“I’m scared.”

Please answer me. Please do something. Please, please?!

“You need real help. I’m only one person. I’m only 20. You need to go, leave and stay there until you’re better,” I nod, understanding. I’m too much.

I’m a child.

You’re far too young to be taking care of someone who can’t take care of themselves. Can’t love someone who can’t possibly love themselves. Can’t touch something so dirty.

“And,” You continue, angling my face to yours, “I know what you’re thinking,” Nod, “I’m not going any-fucking-where. I’m here, I’m with you until you can’t stand me anymore,” You promise. Suddenly, there’s a click form my bedroom, glass shattering as my desertlamp burns itself out.

And in my semi-lit apartment, Christmas day, energy buzzing between our eyes.

We’ve got optimism for years.

 (*)

End.

#poetry

[grizzlefur]

WWEm - Too Much Shit For One Man to Kick

In which Emma’s heart grows three sizes.

Broadcast date: Monday 4/Tuesday 5 September 2017

Now that I've torn myself away from the combination of Destiny 2 and trying to fix my phone, it's time for MONDAY AFTERNOON RAW!: The Nacreous Gem Around The Intrusive Sand Of Roman Reigns Trying To Cut A Promo

trialling a new slogan

daniel's uncle's idea

apparently owning the building means you can give production advice

price of free offices, i guess

anyway, i'm like 70% sure he doesn't read these, so i can say whatever

but yes, the actual show

the bright orange blur in this tumbnail suggests we may be hearing from one mr cena

straight in on a recap video of the contract signing from last week

only presumably without cena kicking a hole in the fourth wall like the fucking shockmaster

also they've edited it to remove roman forgetting how to english

some damn good promos, though

i'm just loving all the shots of kurt in the background gawking like oh god what have i wrought

oh, apparently this is labour day

you'll pardon me for not exactly giving a shit

and we're in omaha

and here's the cena himself

here to cene all over us

oh, apparently we're just kicking straight into a match

and booker's back

i never thought i'd be glad to hear that slurred bullshit

and here comes jason jordan and his dodgy synth music

here to fight cena for unspecified reasons

oh, so we can play the clip of cena debuting against kurt 15 years ago

back when he was ruthlessly aggressive

who doesn't love cross-generational parallels

omaha is super behind cena, possibly for his music containing actual instruments and vocal tracks recorded at the same time

jason goes straight into the amateur mat game, which is not exactly cena's forte

lots of lingering hugs

i think booker just managed to get jason and cena mixed up, but let's be real, i wasn't listening

my mind just levels out everything booker says into a kind of mealy blur

but hey, that's better than the unignorable shittiness of the jerry

(my favourite kundera book)

cena gets a comeback phase, including whipping jason so hard he also faceplanted himself into the mat

that seems poorly thought out

tries to deploy his five moves, jason manages to counter out my backflipping out of a suplex and dropkicking him

fuck you, cruiserweight division

jason takes a five knuckle shuffle, then counters an aa into an indescribably weird rollup

takes an stf for ages, then reverses into a crossface/chinlock thing

cena says fuck you, i'm john cena, stands up out of it and goes for another aa

jj counters out into a beautiful rolling double nothern lights suplex

straps come down, jj unleashes his true power level

and immediately eats an aa for the pin

way to disprove roman's argument that cena buries young talent

oh hye, speaking of

-slips into pre-emptive coma-

and  he's got a mic

fantastic

roman's like why the fuck did that take you 20 minutes that guy's been on the show for like a month

roman really needs to work out what point he's making

so yeah, argument today is that cena's not as great as he thinks he is

and is a lion

fake-ass little bitch

"Roman, I'd say I'm happy to see you, but...I'm disgusted by your whole face."

cena is all out of shits to give

like stop trying to use your brain, it's not your thing

cena immediately addresses roman's inconsistent point

and that his fly is open

which roman turns into lol cos i'm the big dog

ew

men

and cena counters with a balls joke, and roman with a gay joke

fuck's sake, guys

there's a bar, at least make a cursory effort to get over it

cena takes it to roman for having everything handed to him, like damn dude i fucking hate the miz but at least he works for his shots

this is all true

cena's mostly just exasperated

like damn dude, get a clue

so roman's like hey if you want to beat me up let's do that

roman, stop being smug

or just, yknow, go away

cena does not beat him up, so roman's like hey fuck you dude and walks off

that worked, i guess

but later, we apparently have braun/show in a cage

so we can play the gif of those two crushing the ring

also later jeff hardy has an ic title match

but now, enjoy this advert for total bellas

or don't, very much up to you

but now, here come the not-shield

entering to dean's intro

they're gonna be on announce for slater and rhyno vs the kkb

seth and dean should totally rebrand as the sword

god, i love that they've managed to get a dragon ball reference into their entrance

dean's like welp, that's a great entrance,can't take that away from them

confirmation that we've got their title rematch at no mercy

dean goes off on a tangent about jurassic park and getting your face eaten by velociraptors

seth starts giggling

send for the man

corey asks if seth and dean are getting on as a team, dean's like eh, i've had five years to punch this guy in the face, i'm kind of over it by now

back in the ring, heath slater is getting the fuck kicked out of him

but then, that's what he does

inevitable hot tag so rhyno can get some offence in

and then eat a brogue for the pin

dean starts talking smack on the bar, then he's like well we're the bar now hey we should steal their name

dean talks like he fights

cesaro and sheamus do their fusion dance in the ring, and i'm like 90% sure their fusion would be goro from mortal kombat

although more the plasticine fantasticine version from the film, tbh

that's science right there

toasty

cut back to the announce team, where seth and dean have evaporated

and they talk to book about the hurricane

briefly

but now, renee interviews the hardyz

matt breaks in with a semi-broken accent

crowd goes mental

and jeff's like yuuuup gonna win this or get myself killed with the FIRE THAT BURNS WITHIN ME

man can preach

so that's next, i think?

after this ad for randy/shinsuke on smackdown

insert comment about what competition means

and here comes the match

starting with the hardyz

jeff's wearing a connor's cure tabard over all his other clothes, and seriously, i think the man has a problem

it also makes it very hard for him to rock out to their music

cole makes a reference to them wanting to delete paediatric cancer

well played

and enter the miztourage

maryse has a new vest/pvc leggings/sparkly knee boots combo, and as ever, i want it

also perilously close to real human clothes

apparently it's just over 10 years since jeff had the ic belt

bell rings, jeff goes straight for a rollup because fuck wrestling

miz cowers against the ropes like please mr hardy don't beat me

and uses it to throw jeff out to his cronies

a scheme

who would have thought

back in the ring, jeff just punches the hell out of miz's oh-so-punchable face

whisper in the wind for a nearfall

it's taken this long for jeff to jump off something, he must be taking it seriously

sets up for a swanton, bo distracts the ref so curtis can pull jeff off the turnbuckle

sparks a brawl outside the ring, ref is just like fuck this noise all three of you can fuck off

matt is deeply offended like how could you do this to me i was defending my brother's honour

miz counters out of jeff's crotch leg drop, which is good to see, because it is such a trivially easy move to counter

this match is actually p good

it's been like 60% reversals

maryse is still at ringside, which can't possibly be foreshadowing anything

ooh, she's gone with acid-green nails as well

maryse is just my style icon

(as if you didn't know)

miz pulls jeff off the apron, then collapses against the barricade in fornt of a small child in a cena shirt who's like um what

miz gets a figure four one, jeff just goes to counter by punching miz in the face

makes sense when you think about it

eventually gets to the ropes

then hits miz with a stunner, nearfall when miz gets the rope

live by the rope break...

miz crawls out of the ring while the ref shouts at jeff, then immediately eats a baseball slide

and then poetry in motion off the steps

kind of feeling sorry for miz atm

he's bumping like a demon

maryse pulls her husband out fo the way of a swanton, leaving jeff to fuck himself upon the mat

goes for a twist of fate, miz counters into a finale for the pin

damn good match, solid finish

but now, women do things

or so i am assuming by this recap package of banks/bliss

oh yeahb, and nia's inevitable betrayal

announcement: sasha has her rematch at no mercy

and now nia accosts kurt backstage

she's not impressed that she doesn't get a title shot

and emma interrupts to talk about her twitter analytics

she also wants a title shot

nia's just like fuck off or i will actually break you

kurt holds them apart, and hatches a plan

nia/emma v sasha/alexa tonight

if the undercarders win, he'll make the title match a four-way

foreboding shot of the cage, insistent mentions of the ring being reinforced

and have some more recap videos of brig showman fucking the ring

never noticed how hard the ref bumps to the outside when it happens

caught it now, of course, because they've replayed the clip from SEVEN HUNDRED AND THIRTEEN FUCKING ANGLES

but now it's time for cruiserweights to not get an intro

dar, nese and gulak already in the ring

and cedric and gran metalik get to enter with enzo, because seriously, nobody's getting a fucking intro

except enzo, who's brought a mic as usual

enzo tries to spin cheating to win matches as some kind of god-given right because it gets you wins

babyface?

despreately hypes 205 like please watch my show

he introduces cedric and metalik in the shittiest way possible

i spoke too soon, his smacktalk introductions for the other three are even worse

match kicks off with cedric/tony doing the cruiserweightiest wrestling ever

and enzo tags himself in to ruin everything

drew tags in to kick a non-trivial amount of shit out of enzo

not all of it, of course

the man contains too much shit for one man to kick

the heel team start doing rolling tags to take turns fucking up enzo's shit

and then they all just cruiserweight over everything and i can no longer narrate

stereo topes from cedric and metalik, during which enzo tags himself in because he's a twat

and then sticks a thumb in drew's eye to get his stupidly-named finish for the pin

the alleged faces celebrate as drew's outside with his friends like aaaaaaaaaaa i am blind

end segment

and now alexa collars sasha in the locker room to bitch about their opponents tonight

alexa has a cancer shirt too because she's a face by default tonight

this conversation quickly turns into a huge row

that match'll go well

up next, finn bálor wears a shirt

boo

and an advert for the myc, which continues to be great

and here comes everyone's favourite irish possible serial killer

-does the arms-

goes 'this is bálor club' like he's introducing his new talk show

waxes lyrical on his previous titles and how bray wyatt's a dick

finn has chosen his fate

or possibly faith?

this just in, he has an irish accent

calls bray out, immediate wyatt cut

and now we're in the void with bray

talking about learning to hunt as a kid

and the day he decided to stop using a bow and just kill things with his bare hands

i think we could have all filled in that backstory, tbh

taunts finn for only being able to beat him using the demon as his weapon, rather than doing it with his own power and will

and obliquely challenges him for no mercy

finn starts shouting back at him, which is a rarity for these segments

bray calls finn a rabbit, wyatt cut, end thing

so yeah, bray v human!finn for no mercy, presumably

oh hey, more ads for smackdown and total bellas

and now it's women's tag time

cole claims total bellas stars alexa bliss, corey's like um dude that's just a lie

she is here though

this much is true

oh my god i had forgotten how fucking angry i was about emma's new music

although that said, i think it's changed again

it's still not as good as her proper music, but better than last week

cfo$ are clearly going through a weird phase atm

corey is critiquing emma's hashtag efficiency

someone had to

the basic theme if this match thus far is 'tagging yourself in for giggles'

my inner bitch is loving the reluctant passive-aggressive teamwork in this match

(also my outer bitch)

(aka me)

as the smaller woman in the team, emma is performing her proper function of getting fucked on relentlessly

this rule does not apply to alexa, because her rage gives her virtual height

she's like one of those tiny dogs that will FUCKING HAVE YOU

emma finally gets a tag to nia, alexa gets a chance to vent at her

and get creamed

eats a big-ass samoan drop, sasha breaks up the pin after a moment of internal conflict

gets the tag, shining wizard for a nearfall

emma blind tags, nia leg drops sasha, emma gets the pin

i'll be honest, i was not expecting that

four-way should be good, though

emma celebrates extravagantly in the middle of the ring, nia's like um

and samoan drops her

nia will also fucking have you

back to the ambiguous backstage room, where renee has acquired a braun

asks what he's thinking before his first cage match

he's like really what the fuck was kurt thinking, this match might hurt me before my title match at no mercy but will definitely hurt company property

the man does a surprisingly good promo

but up next, seth and dean are back

their walk backstage is briefly interrupted  by elias thrashing out a new song

long beat as they just kind of stand there like what's up with this guy, then shrug and carry on, dean playing along on the air

but next, they fight the good brothers

after these ads for every show we make

back from ads, sheamus and cesaro are in the ring arguing with gallows and anderson for some reason

who am i kidding, you don't need a reason to bitch on those guys

seth and dean still using dean's intro

like, if you're going to just use one, seth's is way better

BURRRRRN IT DOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWN

ref eventually manages to usher the kkb out of the ring, match can commence

sheamus and cesaro seem to have settled on just sarcastically applauding from ringside

someone needs to get them popcorn

this match is a little formulaic, but damn do i love how in sync seth and dean still are as a team

seth/dean v jordan/gable v gargano/ciampa v dawson/wilder

give them a whole show, best tag match possible

as opposed to this particular long-ass superplex setup that didn't even work

dean counters a chokeslam into a dropkick, which is p cool

seth gets the hot tag, commences to jump off every goddamn rope before braun and show fuck them up

dean tries to join in, does a shitty suicide dive

seth hits a lovely top-rope frankensteiner on anderson, the kkb try to interfere, seth gets the pin anyway because they're just that good

and then the good brothers take sheamus and cesaro out while they're distracted

they take a long moment to consider their options, then go back to the ring to fuck up anderson and gallows

and now here's the connor's cure video basically the same as last year, because history and cancer haven't changed much

and they've got the wwe makeup department in to give kids superstar redesigns

that's kind of sweet

and steph giving them all hype ring announcements is cute

dammit, i've fallen for a cute ill kids advert

and they brought alexa, miz, and finn

which seems like a super weird collection

to inspire these kids with cancer, we've brought our resident bitch, a self-important asshole, and a guy who draws power from being possessed by a demon

perfect sense

but up next, main event time

but first, cruiserweight recap vt?

because now we see enzo and his mates in the locker room being annoying

cue sarcastic clapping from neville

and news that those three have all qualified for a five-way elimination match for a title shot at no mercy

neville sows dissesnsion with a few ominous geordie words

closeups of techs reinforcing the ring

and now charly interviews the ref from the ring explosion match, of all people

oh, apparently the ring's double reinforced

not just reinforced

fancy

he's like welp this match is gonna be carnage i'm just going to focus on dodging

and now renee gives big show a hype chat

gah, i'd forgotten his new hairlessness

come on show, give us a YOUUUUU DID THISSSSS TOOO MEEEEEEEEEE

Shockingly, Giant Baby Show says Braun ain’t shit

the dramatic climax of the promo is just show telling us his own nickname

you know how i said braun could promo surprisingly well?

well...not that

seriously guys, how many ads do we need for total bellas?

it's back

we know

ad for 205, in which we learn that the other two slots in the 5-way are kendrick and nese, for no adequately established reason

wait, has anyone seen kurt and show at the same time?

feels like we might have a dr angle and mr show thing going on

corey just referred to braun as "the steam-breathing monster"

um

i have no clue what to say to that

is he coal-powered?

bell rings, braun kicks show in the face

ha

and starts bodychecking him into the cage

weirdly, it goes wrong on the fourth one

show counters with a magic fist, doesn't climb the cage for some reason, cut to ads

cut back and nothing at all has happened

ecept show is now taking his turn to throw his opponent into the cage walls

show starts climbing, braun follows

weird scale going on, since they can both stand on the top rope and touch the top of the cage

show gets crotched really hard

guys, stop doing that spot

it is not good for you

show sets up on the top rope, everyone goes wtf

and does an elbow drop for the first time in like two decades

doesn't connect properly, but still a good moment

goes for the pin, braun kicks out at two because fuck you i'm braun strowman

show crawls for the door, braun walks over, grabs it, and hits show in the face with it

then braun tries to walk over show to get the door himself, and show does eexactly the same thing back to him

see, that was just dumb

braun kind of wanders into a chokeslam, then counters into a ddt for a nearfall

few spots later, show manages to land the chokeslam, braun kicks out because see the above re: fuck you

show goes for a magic fist, braun counters into a powerslam, show counters out and throws braun into the wall

show goes for the climb, followed by braun

gets his chest over the top before braun drags him back down because NOT FINISHED WITH YOU

i have never seen big show on the top rope this much before

braun gets a superplex in, the double reinforcement does its job

still a hell of a crash

and running powerslam for the pin

okay, i'm not usually one for large man punch fights, but that was actually really good

braun looms ominously over his fallen foe, then somehow acquires a mic

calls out brock to see big show's corpse as an object lesson

long ominous beat, then tells big show it's time to go to pasture, picks him up, and powerslams him through one wall of the cage

crowd goes wild

next time they should maybe think about also double reinforcing the cage

show lies on the broken cage wall going aaaa i'm dying, braun stalks off and roars, end show

in all senses

right, well, i've got some bad news

the horizontal line's off in Marbella this week, so we're gonna have to roll straight on

-checks the list of test slogans again-

MONDAY AFTERNOON SMACKDOWN!: Takes Hotter Than Your Dad.

i swear, the things i do so we can have somewhere to record this show that's only occasionally filled with vengeful woodland animals

so yes, the raccoon incident aside, let's watch mackdown

or indeed smackdown

mackdown is the wrestling dating sim i am now going to have to make

opening on a weirdly-saturated recap package of the orton/nakamura situation

the worst holmes story

and yes, the best thing about smackdown today

i'd had it spoiled, but still

JBL IS FUCKING GONE

he's off to do charity work, so we get the double whammy of disadvantaged kids getting support and me not having to listen to his voice

and they've replaced him with corey, making pretty much the ideal announce panel

Tom: "Did you miss me, Graves?" Corey: "Yes!" Tom: "I...am surprised!"

i live for these two talking shit

so yes, orton/nakamura tonight for a title shot at hiac

and here's randy, standing in three-quarter profile in a dimly lit corridor

yknow, like people do

and giving a speech about how he' gonna fuck shinsuke up

cut to shinsuke shadow boxing in the locker room

tells us about how he's gonna fuck randy up, i mostly get distracted by his left shoulder, which i hadn't noticed before

it's kind of fucked

i'm guessing that's a dislocation that healed weird

cut to the ring, and ellsworth announces his bae

only to be interrupted by...kevin?

he's decided he's going to be guest referee for carmella's match with nattie

begins trying to intimidate the ref into taking his shirt off

here's shane

who may have opinions on this fuckery

takes a moment for a cheap pop before getting into professional mode

he's just like kevin

dude

sort your shit out

long tense faceoff

shane's like maybe take responsibility for all these failures which are in all ways your fault

kevin's like fuck you i don't even want to be on this show

shane's like well yeah, cos this isn't the bullshit show where we just give people belts

kevin calls shane out on him needlessly inserting himself into eveything on the show

mentions his dad, gets an ooooooh, mentions his kids, shane immediately gets in his face like fuck you

kevin spins the helicopter crash into this, says his family would all be better off if he'd died there

mentions his kids again, shane explodes on him

well, he did warn him

trips getting out of the ring, killing the moment a bit

throws kevin over the announce table and just absolutely goes to town on him

security pull them apart, bryan turns up to be like the fuck are you doing dude that's an employee

and give the most disapproving dad look you've ever seen

and...cut to an ad for total bellas

way to maintain the mood, guys

and recaps of what happened thirty seconds ago

in which they've edited out shane tripping

ha

backstage, kevin staggers through the room supported by three officials

bryan comes out to apologise

kevin promises to sue shane, wwe, and the entire mcmahon family

bryan's like wow, that seems wildly disproportionate

kevin's like fine, i'll go press assault charges insteads

cut back to announce, corey and byron are both like well he totally deserved that

but yes, now we actually have that carmella/nattie match

recap from last week reminds me precisely how fucking awful carmella's singlet was

thankfully, she's back to normal gear today

provided you count bright orange leggings with leopard-print piping as normal

announce team start spinning next week's 'Sin City Smackdown'

carmella gets her face punched off, retreats to her ellsworth

pan out to naomi watching the match with a look of deep concentration as carmella does a long-ass guillotine choke

nattie powerslams her out, gets a comeback

carmella superkicks nattie, gets a nearfall, ellsworth gives the ref the briefcase

carmella's like wtf no i'm not cashing in give my that back, throws it at ellsworth, and gets rolled up for the pin

ellsworth comes back into the ring to apologise profusely

carmella starts being all magnanimous, then opens up on him

including using the same line twice

calls him a 'genetic defect'

and asks how he's still employed at wwe

really, the question we were all asking

"You are a charity case, and your mother should have given you away at birth!"

wow

harsh

and officially dumps him

takes her case, struts off

leaving james in the ring and the depths of despair

backstage, here's shane looking conflicted

up next, dolph ziggler re-debuts

i have no clue how this is going to go

expect everything

after these ads for the myc and no mercy

and tom giving us a talk about paediatric cancer

roll the video again

refer to my comments above

well, that gave me plenty of time to curate my itunes library

fringe benefits

and here's the dolph

looking...exactly the same

he's got a mic

presumably to tell the fans to go fuck themselves

yup

railing at the fans for not appreciating the greatest performer in the company

and they'd prefer some dumb gimmick

lights go back down, and here he is again

doing cena's entrance

all credit to the crowd for the DOLPH ZIGGLER SUUUUUUUCKS singalong

dolph's like hey, did that not work? i'll try another

lights go down again, and now he's...who had land of hope and glory?

-research break-

yeah, thought it was him

dude, if you're gonna do a macho man entrance, you could at least have the shades

gives up on it, shouts at the crows for not doing the usual nostalgia pop

sends his valet away

and now he promises to have exactly what the crowd want and deserve

and...now he's naomi

the fuck is this

does the knee slide, then gives up

all gimmicks are defeated by ennui

and now he's back to railing against the idea of gimmicks, because anyone can do them

says he, after clearly showing that not everyone can dance like naomi

tells the fans they make him sick, stomps off backstage

so that happened?

up next, sami zayn v aiden english

because this is 2014 nxt, apparently

aiden gets about one line into his aria before sami's music interrupts him

oh yeah, this is the rematch from last week when kevin fucked on everything

and aiden gets a rollup out of nowhere

that lasted about 90 seconds

the bookers have some sort of problem with sami

and aiden's got his mic back

so he can give us some more singing

swiftly tailing off as sami chases him out of the room

let's have yet another recap of shane brutalising an employee

pan out to bryan rewatching it

only to get interrupted by the new day

here to lift his spirits

oh, and here are the usos

to do the opposite

announcing the stipulation for next week

street fight

which seems ill-advised when you're fighting a team of three

bryan gets a call, ushers the new day out

someone bryan calls 'sir' (so vince) wants him to do something in the ring

i know what, because i have a dreadful habit of going on twitter and getting spoilers, but i'll maintain the mystery for now

bryan disagrees, is shut down

and he's going to do............IT right now

(couldn't resist)

and here he is in the arena

gets in the ring, calls shane to come too

he doesn't

finally, here he comes

with nary a HERE COME THE MONEYYYYYYY

not sure i've ever seen either of these this sombre

bryan's like remember last year when the miz was pushing me every week and i made the bold choice to NOT FUCKING ATTACK HIM?

bottom line, you can't assault our employees

fair policy

shane's like yeah sorry but when people talk about my family i go crazy

bryan's just i don't give a single shit you've endangered this entire show because we both know kevin's a vindictive bastard who'll take us for everything

shane offers to go and reconcile with kevin

bryan's like no, i talked to your dad, you're suspended indefinitely

and leaves

shane's left in the ring like welp

why would you leave him there if he was suspended?

eh, wrestling logic

many crowd chants later, shane slumps off

gets a lot of thank you chants for a man who's just been suspended for attacking an employee

and now renee is in the blue curtain room to interview jinder

in an ugly-ass houndstooth suit

asks which guy he'd rather fight, he doesn't give a shit

claims he represents asia better than shinsuke ever could, despite shinsuke actually being from fucking asia

does the promo again in punjabi to speak to 3% of the great nation of india

back in the arena, aj's on announce

to talk about paediatric cancer

(i feel like i'll be writing that phrase a lot in the next few weeks)

and here's baron

sidebar fact: "Won the Money In The Bank ladder match earlier this year"

guys, maybe stop reminding people of that

recap vt of styles/dillinger last week

and of baron being a tool

i feel like i might need to specify that more

and here's tye

and they haven't synced his music with his new tron, so the sexy number voice says 10 when the video's on about 6

kind of love the KO'S A BITCH sign in the crowd

works on many levels

baron slides out of the ring to face off with aj, so tye just jumps out and fucks him up against the barricade

solid advice: maybe keep an eye on the other guy in the match

cut to ads, come back to a really slick spot of baron lariating tye's head off

tye tries to set up for the tye breaker, is thwarted by his opponent being large and heavy

and baron continues to stop having the match he's actually having so he can shout at aj

and i love the complete lack of shit aj gives

baron scores a cheap shot to tye's throat, angering aj, and end of days for the pin

actually a pretty good match

you forget that tye's got a lot of skill in the ring

aj is shocked at baron's lack of honour

because he doesn't watch the show, i guess

up next, "a special look at bobby roode"

ok, whoever edited it to go directly from saying that to a total bellas advert needs firing

backstage, aj congratulates tye on his fight and says next week, the us open challenge will only be open to him

dude

that's not an open challenge

that's just a challenge

and now for a bobby roode video package

enhanced by corey being on this show now so he can run hype for him

and now we're backstage with ellsworth pleading for carmella to forgive him

and being like yes i'm subhuman and i don't deserve anything please take me back

this is not healthy

carmella says from now on, they're doing things her way

gives him a huge kiss, then slaps his face off

flounces off, leaving ellsworth to be like the actual fuck is my life

but now we have a main event

here comes the very finest in flailing japanese men

and adverts for all our other shows

and also a fucking snaaaaaaake

loving the contrast of entrances

incredibly theatrical alien dance vs walking slowly down the ramp

cut over to jinder and the singhs in his skybox

tom mispronounces kinshasa even before the bell rings

this is why we got corey on here

whoever you are trying to get your MAGA sign to constantly show up on hardcam, kindly fuck off

randy does a massive hotshot, aided by shinsuke being an extremely floppy man when he wants to be

randy goes for his draping ddt out to the floor, shinsuke reverse out because that would be dangerous as fuck if he hit it

throws shinsuke into the announce desk, corey's like this is the worst first day ever

shinsuke just decides to get a comeback spot like oh hey maybe i should just kick him in the face a bunch

superplex to shinsuke, and the setup only took a small percentage of my life this time

lovely spot as shinsuke's reeling on his knees then just leans back into doing his cmoooooooon

goes for a kinshasa, randy counters into a snap powerslam

into a draping ddt, because you know randy's spots

strikes up the snake, which is still weird when your whole thing is hitting it out of nowhere

goes for an rko, shinsuke counters into an armbar then transitions to a triangle

that was fucking lovely

randy powers out, shinsuke counters an rko into a backstabber

see, this is how you preserve finishers

and kinshasa for the pin

oh, sorry corey

KINSHAAAAAASSSSSSSAAAAAAAAAAA

(totally why corey's here)

well thank fuck for that, i'm not sure i could have taken another orton/mahal rematch without taking up amateur tattooing or something

backstage, bryan tells kevin they're done

kevin's like fuck that, imma run the show next week

and bryan drops the bomb that vince'll be there next week to sort shit out

great

ah well

and brief cut back to shinsuke partying so we have something to end on

and thus we finish the week's shows

by which i do of course mean last week's shows

one day i'll actually get my shit together and be punctuahahahahaaaa sorry i couldn't get through that

[Don’t forget to follow Emma on Twitter, where she’s @Waruce]

#WWE #WWE Raw #wwe smackdown #Wrestling

[twitchyblondeferret]

200. 155, 23 ,54

@nayt-hollowbeak​ asked me to do them all and a different anon asked me to do 186 so here’s all of them!

200: My crush’s name is: I don’t think I have one right now. Which is odd for me.199: I was born in: 1997198: I am really: unremarkable197: My cellphone company is: Verizon196: My eye color is: Brown195: My shoe size is: 8194: My ring size is: No clue193: My height is: 5′4.5192: I am allergic to: pineapple191: My 1st car was: Chevy Malibu190: My 1st job was: Office Depot cashier189: Last book you read: Max Ride188: My bed is: Lovely187: My pets: are a Cockapoo named Tonks, a Bichon Frise (according to my sister) named Dobby, a Siamese kitten who has yet to be named, and a Yorkie named Cleo (sort of)186: My best friend: is Jesus. And also Morgan185: My favorite shampoo is: whatever is in my shower at any given moment184: Xbox or ps3: I do not video game183: Piggy banks are: kinda useless. I always spend my money before it can accumulate.182: In my pockets: Don’t have any right now181: On my calendar: Doctor, homework, theatre stuff, dentist180: Marriage is: a goal for me I guess.179: Spongebob can: die in a hole. 178: My mom: works really damn hard.177: The last three songs I bought were? You think I buy music? Ha176: Last YouTube video watched: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_v8LF-YWKfo175: How many cousins do you have? So damn many174: Do you have any siblings? 2 sisters173: Are your parents divorced? Nope172: Are you taller than your mom? Yep171: Do you play an instrument? Nah170: What did you do yesterday? Work, cry, go home, rehearse[ I Believe In ]169: Love at first sight: Fuck no168: Luck: Maybe?167: Fate: Nah166: Yourself: Ha165: Aliens: Totally164: Heaven: Nope163: Hell: No162: God: Nein161: Horoscopes: Niet160: Soul mates: Uh uh.159: Ghosts: I’m running out of ways to say no.158: Gay Marriage: Yep157: War: No156: Orbs: ?155: Magic: Magic isn’t real read a book.[ This or That ]154: Hugs or Kisses: Hugs153: Drunk or High: Neither152: Phone or Online: Online151: Red heads or Black haired: Black haired150: Blondes or Brunettes: Brunettes149: Hot or cold: Cold148: Summer or winter: Summer147: Autumn or Spring: Spring146: Chocolate or vanilla: Vanilla145: Night or Day: Night144: Oranges or Apples: Apples143: Curly or Straight hair: Either142: McDonalds or Burger King: Burger King141: White Chocolate or Milk Chocolate: Milk Chocolate140: Mac or PC: Chrome iOS139: Flip flops or high heals: Heels138: Ugly and rich OR sweet and poor: This question is too vague and I refuse to answer it137: Coke or Pepsi: Coke136: Hillary or Obama: Obama135: Burried or cremated: Cremated134: Singing or Dancing: Suck at both but prefer singing133: Coach or Chanel: Neither132: Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks: Who?131: Small town or Big city: Big City130: Wal-Mart or Target: My heart says Target but my wallet says Walmart129: Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler: Ben Stiller128: Manicure or Pedicure: Manicure127: East Coast or West Coast: East. New England FTW126: Your Birthday or Christmas: Christmas125: Chocolate or Flowers: Flowers124: Disney or Six Flags: DISNEY123: Yankees or Red Sox: Who cares....[ Here’s What I Think About ]122: War: what is it good for..absolutely nothing..121: George Bush: “The question is, is our children learning”120: Gay Marriage: Why shouldn’t people marry whomever the fuck they please119: The presidential election: Ugh118: Abortion: You do you. I hope I don’t ever have to go through one but as I never want to have children, who knows.117: MySpace: I think it’s really only used for bands and stuff now?116: Reality TV: I like some competition shows but that’s about it.115: Parents: I mean mine are good114: Back stabbers: Um. They’re not good?113: Ebay: I don’t fucking know? Why are these so weird?112: Facebook: I use it fairly often.111: Work: My job sucks but hey I got almost $300 today110: My Neighbors: Don’t know em109: Gas Prices: So high108: Designer Clothes: Don’t care107: College: Sucks106: Sports: Boring105: My family: large? Loud? Occasionally fun?104: The future: UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH[ Last time I ]103: Hugged someone: Like an hour and a half ago102: Last time you ate: around 6 hours ago101: Saw someone I haven’t seen in awhile: Wednesday100: Cried in front of someone: Yesterday99: Went to a movie theater: Like a week and a half ago98: Took a vacation: November97: Swam in a pool: Last August96: Changed a diaper: It’s been years95: Got my nails done:Ummmm. Last summer I think94: Went to a wedding: I don’t remember93: Broke a bone: Never have92: Got a peircing: When I was like 6 weeks old91: Broke the law: On my drive home?90: Texted: 10 minutes ago[ MISC ]89: Who makes you laugh the most: I dunno88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is: My dog87: The last movie I saw: Chicago86: The thing that I’m looking forward to the most: the sweet release of death?85: The thing im not looking forward to: the continuation of life?84: People call me: um. My name?83: The most difficult thing to do is: Literally everything. I’m bad at all of it.82: I have gotten a speeding ticket: Nope81: My zodiac sign is: Capricorn80: The first person i talked to today was: My mom79: First time you had a crush: Kindergarten78: The one person who i can’t hide things from: Nobody.77: Last time someone said something you were thinking: Oooo rehearsal today. Morgan and Justin get me when it comes to those fucking kids.76: Right now I am talking to: Rene75: What are you going to do when you grow up: teach theatre74: I have/will get a job: Have one?73: Tomorrow: Work 9-5:30 Rehearsal 5-9.  Cause that’ll work.72: Today: Work, school, Olive Garden, rehearsal, airport, home71: Next Summer: Fuck if I know.70: Next Weekend: Work and perform69: I have these pets: see 18768: The worst sound in the world: Styrofoam.67: The person that makes me cry the most is: My ex. Fucker.66: People that make you happy: There are quite a few of them65: Last time I cried: Yesterday.64: My friends are: Annoying as a fuck. But oh well.63: My computer is: refusing to acknowledge that its has a built in camera62: My School: sucks61: My Car: is a mess60: I lose all respect for people who: are assholes for no reason59: The movie I cried at was: All of them?58: Your hair color is: Brown57: TV shows you watch: Shameless, Gilmore Girls, Riverdale, Jane the Virgin56: Favorite web site: this hellhole55: Your dream vacation: Backpack across Europe54: The worst pain I was ever in was: I’ve never experienced extreme physical pain.53: How do you like your steak cooked: Medium Rare52: My room is: also a mess51: My favorite celebrity is: Emma Watson50: Where would you like to be: Disneyland49: Do you want children: No48: Ever been in love: Unfortunately47: Who’s your best friend: See 18646: More guy friends or girl friends: Guy45: One thing that makes you feel great is: being on stage44: One person that you wish you could see right now: none of them. I need to avoid people 43: Do you have a 5 year plan: I don’t even have a 5 day plan.42: Have you made a list of things to do before you die: No41: Have you pre-named your children: I mean I’ve had names picked for years but I don’t want to use them40: Last person I got mad at: myself39: I would like to move to: Anaheim38: I wish I was a professional: actor[ My Favorites ]37: Candy: I’m not huge on candy36: Vehicle: Classic matte black Charger35: President: Obama34: State visited: New York33: Cellphone provider: Um. I’ve only had the one32: Athlete: Don’t care31: Actor: So many30: Actress: Same as above29: Singer: Brendon Urie28: Band: Panic! At the Disco (see what I did there?)27: Clothing store: Forever 2126: Grocery store: Um? Walmart I guess?25: TV show: Gilmore Girls24: Movie: So many23: Website: This one22: Animal: Otters and meerkats21: Theme park: Disneyland20: Holiday: Thanksgiving19: Sport to watch: Football?18: Sport to play: Fuck no17: Magazine: None of them?16: Book: Harry Potter15: Day of the week: Friday?14: Beach: Um. No clue13: Concert attended: I have a hard time at concerts12: Thing to cook: Sweet and Sour Chicken11: Food: Sushi or Gyros10: Restaurant: Sunny’s Sushi or Zinos9: Radio station: 99.9 I guess8: Yankee candle scent: Um7: Perfume: UM6: Flower: Lily5: Color: Blue or black4: Talk show host: Ellen?3: Comedian: Gabriel Iglesias2: Dog breed: Poodle1: Did you answer all these truthfully? I think so?

I’m sorry that some are sarcastic? Just the mood I’m in I guess 

[nickireadstfc]

The King’s Men, Chapter 7 – In Case Of Zombie Apocalypse, Grab Your Racquets And Run

In which the saga of Gays On Rooftops continues, everyone is too sassy to handle, I cry at some beautiful Andrew/Renee normalcy, and Andreil are Andreil.

Sounds good? Then it’s time for Nicki to read The King’s Men.

Oh boy oh boy oh boy, I had always heard of The Rooftop Scene™ from fandom, but oh, had I been a fool to assume there was just one of them.

Lads, we’re back to being in high places we shouldn’t be, and we’re in for a fun time.

             “Give me one good reason to not push you off the side.”

             Neil shook a cigarette stick out and lit it. “I’d drag you down with me. It’s a long way down.”

Two sentences into this conversation, and Neil is already being a sassy little shit.

Now this is the content I signed up for.

             “I hate you. (…) Ninety percent of the time the very sight of you makes me want to commit murder. I think about carving the skin from your body and hanging it out as a warning to every other fool who thinks he can stand in my way.”

             “What about the other ten?” Neil asked.

Perceptive little dude, look at you! Actually noticing stuff Andrew says, I’m so proud.

Also, I’m hoping this was a rhetorical question, because if not I may take my “perceptive” back.

             “I warned you not to put a leash on me.”

             “I didn’t,” Neil said. “You put that leash on yourself when you told me to stay no matter what. Don’t be mad at me just because I was smart enough to pick up the other end of it.”

I want it to please be known that I am resisting about 20 kinky leash jokes right now.

Thankfully, Andrew waltzes on with the conversation before I can utter any.

Good boy.

             “I don’t think it was the money (…) why they chased you so long. I imagine at some point they realized it was far more important to hurt you than to recoup anything they’d lost.”

             “So you stay, but you still won’t hit me.”

Neil has become being such a sassy shit to Andrew, I can’t even tell you how much I’m loving this.

Homeboy takes no shit from no one anymore.

             Despite Andrew’s unfriendly words, his expression and tone were calm. He said these things like they meant nothing to him. Neil didn’t know if it was a mask or the truth. Was Andrew hiding that rage from Neil or from himself? Maybe the monster was buried until Neil crossed another unforgiveable line.

And of course, Neil being Neil, he instantly searches for that line exactly.

Neil and Andrew, pretty much.

             “Good,” Neil said at length. (…) “I want to see you lose control.”

Damn right you do, honey.

             Neil feigned confusion as he got to his feet. “Am I bothering you?”

             “Beyond the telling.”

             “Interesting,” Neil said. “Last week you said nothing gets under your skin.”

OOOHHHHHHHHHH.

Neil, my boy my dude my homie, you are on FIRE today.

Neil mic-drops out of the conversation and gets off the roof – only to be immediately thrown to the ground by the angrier, more vocal version of Andrew.

After several people are needed to wrestle Aaron and Neil free from each other, we find out what exactly has our second favourite twin’s orange boxers in a twist:

             “Katelyn’s refusing to see me or talk to me until Andrew and I get counselling.”

DAMN, GIRL.

I knew Katelyn was badass, but this has just propelled her to the very top of the Takes No Shit Charts.

KATELYN YOU WONDERFUL TOUGH HEADSTRONG ORANGE SUNSHINE, LET ME LOVE YOU.

             Nicky’s jaw dropped, but it sounded more admiring than anything. “Damn, Neil.”

Same, Nicks.

             Aaron shot him a livid look. “Don’t you dare take his side.”

             “Why not?” Nicky asked. “It’s not like you ever let me take yours.”

Shots have been fired, tea has been spilled, Aaron has been thoroughly shut up.

What is up with this team and sassy remarks today, you guys. Wonderful.

Neil reunited with Dan’s crowd, who immediately begin questioning the previous violent (and also German) exchange, as any sane person would do.

             “What the hell is going on?”

             “I’m doing what you asked me to do,” Neil said. “I’m fixing them. (…) If a bone isn’t healing straight, you have no choice but to break it. They’ll be fine.”

Neil has been taking metaphor style notes from Andrew, apparently.

             Matt leaned against the doorframe and arched a brow at Neil. “That’s not exactly reassuring. From you ‘fine’ could mean anything from ‘I’m going to hitchhike across the state’ to ‘I’m beaten to a bloody pulp but I can still hold a racquet’.”

Damn, Matt.

This squad is not messing around today.

Matt, Dan and Allison play a fun goodnight game of Getting Drunk Off Their Asses, and while Neil and Renee clean up the mess afterwards, they have a lil talk about y’know, boys.

             “Thank you,” she said, “for reaching him when I couldn’t.”

This just in: I still love Renee, thank you for asking.

Renee confirms what we kind of knew already: When Andrew started watching Kevin and the monsters’ backs, Renee was tasked with watching those of the rest. She even offered to take Neil when he arrived, bless her heart. But of course, we know how quickly Andrew snatched Neil’s dramatic ass up into his crew.

             “That being said, I tried taking you off his hands at one point.” When Neil looked at her in surprise, Renee affected an innocent look that for once was not entirely convincing. “Andrew refused on the grounds he wouldn’t wish you on anyone except a mortician.”

             “Drama queen,” Neil muttered.

First off – lmao @ Andrew for being the drama queen we treasure him for, and lmao @ Neil for finally commenting on it.

But second – how am I to interpret that not-convincing innocent look? Did she just wanna protect Neil from Andrew and now feels about it, for not trusting her friend enough? Or does she know about Andrew’s, ahem, possible ulterior motives?

I’m betting on the latter. As if Andrew doesn’t talk to her about his crushes during their BFF sleepovers. As if.

In order to avoid his teammates’ bad spirit about, well, everything at the moment, when it comes to warm-up on the court the next day, Neil – surprise! – joins Renee and Andrew on their jog.

A lil wholesome conversation will go a long way, folks, even if that long way just goes around the Court walls.

And what does my favourite Brotp in this universe do on their mighty distinguished Break Walks?

They discusss hypothetical WWIII scenarios.

LOVELY.

Seriously, I love this. This is exactly the kind of wholesome normal best-friends-havin-a-chat content I signed up for, and I can’t believe my poor heart is finally getting what it deserves.

Neil is equally delighted by the Goalie BFFs’ choice of debate subject, and his thirsty ass is immediately back the next day.

And it gets better – today, it’s zombie apocalypses.

ZOMBIE APOCALYPSES.

             Surviving on the run was Neil’s forte, and it was interesting to see how his priorities compared with theirs. Renee stressed the importance of collecting survivors, which Andrew shot down immediately.

Because of course she did, because of course he did.

I LOVE THIS.

Every single thing about this is gold and I want a billion fanarts.

             Neil wondered what he would do if an invasion really happened. (…) Chances were it’d be instinctive to abandon all of them if the undead put in a ravenous appearance. It wasn’t exactly an uplifting realization, but Neil could accept the ugly truths about himself.

This, this is so important to me. Neil isn’t magically over his entire upbringing now that he’s got friends, he’ll maybe always have these instincts his mother put in him, but he’s coming to accept this about himself. He’s being open and honest with himself, even if it means addressing bad emotions and bad truths and really man have I mentioned I love Neil Josten recently.

In other news: Renee is apparently texting buddies with Jean now!

And I’m p sure they allowed outside contact with the Foxy Orange Scum beneath their Holy Feathery Feet, so Jean is probably breaking a billion laws (and maybe risking a few fingers) sending memes to Renee, so props to you, my man. You have my approval to be engaging in contact with my fave sweetheart.

Neil is equally on board with this.

             “I’m hoping she can weaking his blind loyalty.” Neil thought about it a moment longer, then said, “Maybe that’s why Matt stopped betting on the two of you?”

This is either Neil being the oblivious fuck that we know and treasure, or Neil poking the bear.

Either way, good shit right there if I do say so myself.

To close this chapter off – we’re in for another Prime Andreil Deep Talk. This time featuring: Money!

             “It isn’t charity,” Neil said. “It’s revenge. It wasn’t my money in the first place, remember? I told you my father skimmed it from the Moriyamas. If you take some for your car, you’re making Riko fix what his fans destroyed.”

Can your stolen money also fix Riko’s attitude, asking for a friend.

             “Revenge is a motivator only for the weak-willed,” Andrew said.

             “If you believed that you wouldn’t be planning on how to kill Proust.”

OHHHH burn. Did I mention I’m here for Neil Take No Shit Josten lately?

Also yikes. Almost forgot about that guy.

I’m intrigued to see whether he actually appears in this book.

Andrew retaliates this comment by blowing a fuckton of smoke in Neil’s face, which Neil retaliates by breaking Andrew’s cigarette.

Actual fucking children, I tell you.

             “You bought the last car with someone’s death. You can buy this one with someone’s life – my life. That money was going to buy my next name when I ran away from here. Thanks to you I don’t need it anymore.”

Yeah, hi, if anyone needs me I’ll be subtly crying in a corner.

             “Make a new deal with me. (…) What would you give me?” Neil asked.

             “Don’t ask questions you already know the answer to.”

             Neil frowned at him, lost, but Andrew didn’t waste his breath explaining.

Ah yes, and here we are back again with Neil being an oblivious idiot. Jeez, boi.

Ily, but use ya brain.

Mirculously, Neil does, but quite differently than I expected him to – he convinces Andrew to give up cracker dust.

Nice, I guess. One addiction less. Kind of anticlimactic, though.

Next!

             Andrew thought it over a minute, then flicked his cigarette at Neil. It singed the material where it bounced off his shirt. (…)

             “I’m going to take your temper tantrum as a yes,” Neil said.

The sass does not stop, you guys.

Wonderful.

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#tfc #the foxhole court #aftg #all for the game #the king's men #tkm #nora sakavic #nicki reads tfc #this was a bit of a filler chapter but I still had fun with it #and a day earlier than I promised #hah suck that procrastination