#and i cant manage to like. speak it into existence most of the time

[cyb3rspyd3r]

"MINE"

pairing: e!42 miles x blk! fem reader

genre: fluff , protective miles

miles = dark purple you = pink (naisa is you)

a/n: whew lawrd i got so many damn books to post .. yall in for some treats good JESUS , but trust ima get yall requests soon i promise

-----------------------------------♡-----------------------------------------

you were walking back home from the store , it wasn't too far away from where you live , so walkin won't a problem .

on the way back you heard your phone buzz , taking it out of your pocket to see who texted you. "1 new message from: Miless 💘."

miles was texting you to ask where you were at , worried on why you weren't home yet since he was at your house. you texted back smiling , reassuring him that you'll be fine , and your're on the way. butttt miles looked over that , and face timed you.

when you answered , he was side eyeing the camera , on the game that he set up in your room. "didnt i tell you to ask me before u use my tv?" you sighed , looking around your room to see what else he had done.

"yeaa sorry ma , my ass was bored waitin on u , but where you at?" miles fully turned his head towards the camera , squinting trying to make out where you were at.

you put your face all up in the camera , makin faces and laughing. "ma im not playin , where are you" he put his controller down , speaking in a more serious tone which made you back up from the screen.

"chill , im on my way ri-" suddenly , a boy who looked about your age came up to you , cheesin away. you kept walking , not interested.

the boy started walking behind you , trying to talk to you which .. didnt play out well. "yoo u from here?" he managed to catch up to you , trying to walk beside you.

miles heard the male's voice which caused his head to shoot towards the phone , picking it up looking around your surroundings.

"yea , i'm from my man's place , move along ." you snarled , walking faster looking at your phone to see miles with the most annoyed facial expression ever.

"aye not gon lie he prolly a bitch like most niggas round here , i could fs do better lil ma" this was miles last straw .. womp womp.. "oh hell na ." miles said before taking a good look at where you were , and hanging up.

the boy heard the voice coming from your phone as you walked faster , causing him to laugh. "aye was that him? see he prolly mad at u now , come fuck wit a real nigga" at this point you were irritated , not wanting miles to be mad at you because someone else tried talking to you.

"nigga fuck off , been said i got a man thats yo cue to leave . actually that ain't even my man , we married. so bye.." you went to imsg on your phone trying to text miles to get this boy away from you as soon as possible , he was pissin you off at this point.

miles texted you back with a simple "omw mami." which caused you to look around , seeing if he was anywhere in sight.

after a few minutes of this bum still tryna talk to you and follow you , you felt hands around your waist walking with you , causing you to quickly turn around trying to move until you noticed it was your bf , miles.

"the fuck?? this yo man?" he looked miles up and down , which pissed the both of yall off. you opened your mouth to say something , but before you could talk , miles did.

"nah nigga im her husband , i know u heard her say she taken so why u still tryna fw her? take yo big boosie fade head ass on somewhere bruh and getchu a retwist , yo ass got butterfly locs atp" miles laughed a lil at his own joke , meanwhile you were crackin tf upp

the boy side eyed yall , and walked off mad asf , you and miles were still crackin up at the back of this nigga head , retwists do not exist to him

"ight ight jokes aside , you lmk when shit like that happen we cant have niggas lookin like THAT tryna fuck wit you naisa" he wiped a few lil tears from his eyes due to laughing , you did the same.

"nigga did not give up.." you thought of the things the boy said , making you cringe.

miles put his arm around you , walking back home and kissed you on your forehead.

"mine."

#miles morales #miles x reader #spiderman atsv #e42 miles #earth 42 miles x reader #earth 42 miles morales x reader #across the spiderverse #atsv #into the spider verse #hobie brown #miles morales prowler #miles x you #earth 42 miles morales x black!reader

[neotomiccccc]

All Saints Street Infection Au!

I know I cant be the only one whose tiktok fyp is full of mlp infection videos atm and if theres one thing i love its SMASHING my interests together like theyre fucking cymbals SO HERES THE FIRST POST OF MY WSJ VIRUS/APOCALYPSE AU...

The breakdown is this:

A virus breaks out which can affect humans and monsters alike. There is no known cure except for swift amputation of the infected area. Once a certain amount of time has passed, it's too late for this to happen, and the diseased will slowly succumb to a mutated state, before finally death.

Angels, for the first few weeks of the viruses existence, are found to be naturally immune to the disease. It's theorised that this is because of their purifying properties.

Neil is infected with the disease by the fourth week since the outbreak, and by week five is in the middle stages. He hasn't told anyone out of fear, and also out of denial and the belief he'll just get better. He doesn't. At some point, he struggles to hide his symptoms anymore and Lily is the one to discover his infection. Together they make the difficult decision that Lily will have to kill Neil as an act of mercy before he gets any worse and becomes dangerous. Lynn hears Lily crying, and finds her sobbing over Neil's body. The two return to camp and are forced to tell Nick what happened - they are unable to bring Neil back with them because of the infection risk.

Lily has taken the role of defending the makeshift camp from the mutated late-stage diseased. She is ambitious, but Neil's death is traumatic for her and she often finds her brain foggy and dull where she used to be concentrated and sharp. After a small injury, Lynn begs and even forbids Lily from fighting off the diseased until she is fully healed, but Lily can't cope with the thought of putting more people, especially her brother, in danger by not fighting. While defending the base, Lily becomes overwhelmed and while her death is brutal, it is at the very least, swift.

Nick is bitten on the lower leg very early on, and Lynn has to amputate in order to stop the disease from spreading. This is successful, but it does leave Nick with a severe disadvantage. Despite this, he is very resourceful, a fast thinker and a great resource at the base. After Neil's death, he goes into denial, partially blaming himself for not keeping a closer eye on his little brother. As time goes on, the nightmares and dreams about Neil become too much for him, and he almost stops sleeping altogether. This only furthers his worsening mental health, and he slowly becomes more impulsive and aggressive.

Lynn originally served as a medic and healer for the group, being the one to deal with wounds and examine potential infections. Despite being the most calm and put-together individual at the start of the outbreak, he suffers a brutal downfall. Shortly after the news comes out that the virus has mutated so that angels are no longer immune, Lynn loses the vast majority of his wings to a mutant - and only a few days after, Lily is killed in a similar incident. After losing Lily and suffering severe physical and psychological trauma, Lynn is reduced to a state where he very rarely speaks or does anything other than stare off into the distance. Nick and he still spend a lot of time together despite this, even if there is not much conversation to be had.

Characters that I haven't drawn in this AU yet:

Abu's anxieties become his saviour - by barricading himself in his own shelter and rarely leaving, Abu manages to survive despite minor injuries through sheer isolation. This does mean however, that he is needed more and more as others begin to succumb to the illness. Will he be able to overcome his fear, or is it better to stay holed up until a cure is found?

Ira gets infected during the fifth week, but the virus goes unnoticed in him for quite a while, as he does not show regular symptoms and is a bit of an anomaly. He also does not know he has been infected until he begins to lose himself. By the time Ira knows what's happening, he's already too far gone.

Damao is infected by a stray dog very early into the outbreak. He quickly notices his body beginning to rot and fearing for the safety of his friends, he runs away and goes into hiding. The next time the group sees damao, he has to fight for internal control in order not to hurt anyone, and does so for just enough time for the group to escape. The time after that, the group run into a horribly mutated monster that barely resembles a canine anymore.

Luis is confused at first about his potential immunity - he's already a zombie, but as it would seem, this virus is a different beast entirely, so he's not as immune as he thought. He manages to last a while, despite losing several body parts, but he too eventually is infected by a mutant, and transforms before the group.

Momo was one of the first to be infected, catching the virus from a stray cat. She is the reason that the group realise the severity and true horror of the virus - seeing her mutilated state is enough to convince anyone to abandon the city and run for a rural area to go into hiding.

Crystal is tough and is used to fighting. She doesn't hesitate to put mutants out of their misery, even though their screams haunt her later. By virtue of her toughness and perseverance, she is able to be one of the few survivors, but she struggles to deal with the amount of blood on her hands, even if she knows it was the only thing she could have done.

#all saints street #all saints street au #horror au #all saints street infection au #infection au #neil bowman #lily angel #lynn angel #nick hoult

[psychiatricwarfare]

i see so many posts on this site being like "i want someone who is obsessed with me" "get me a partner who will smother me" "i need you to want to crawl inside my skin" etc etc etc but what about those of us who want to lovingly sit near each other without speaking and just exist with each other? what about those of us who aren't very traditionally romantic but still crave intimacy? those of us who wont remember to text you 24/7 or always be okay with touching or talking but still have so much love in our hearts and want to be able to express that in our own way? those of us who hate most romcoms because theyre too cheesey and sappy but would be delighted to watch some dumb comedy or a movie thats so-bad-its-good so we can make fun of it the whole time?

i consider myself a romantic, but my version of romance is so far off from what ive seen anyone else talk about, but i Know i cant be alone in this. so if youre a non-romantic romantic, just know you are worthy of love and if i can manage to find not one but Two partners who love me for who i am and my lack of traditional romance, then so can you

#romance #obsessive love #nonromantic #autistic #autism #actually autistic #arospec #<- im not aro but maybe some of yall on this spectrum can relate #casual intimacy #actually audhd #audhd #adhd #cluster b #ptsd #aspd #antisocial tendencies #neurodivergent #npd

[wazzappp]

First bit of graphic design I've done in a year and its a fake logo for a hyperspecific AU... don't know how I didn't see that coming honestly.

Ok lets talk about why I went with 'Ghost Fighters' outside of the obvious name pun.

The main enemies the boys face would be ghosts. They are composed entirely of the suffering of people who have passed. The few memories that they have are of their worst experiences, but for the most part they just kind of exist as memories of suffering. Generally these spirits move on after a day or two, but if there is a specific strong attachment to a place or person or trauma sometimes they stick around longer. Someone who was murdered would probably not stick around as long as someone who died of old age.

The general appearance is of an emaciated figure with very few features. They usually have 'ribbons' that extend out of the backs of their heads, the ends of these are sharp and used for fighting. The elongated arms and sharpened two fingered hands with a thumb are also used for slashing.

Ghosts seek out similar suffering in their area. They cant move more than 1/2 mile away from where they died, which gives them a bit of room to roam, but if you live in a place where theres a high concentration of murder they have a higher chance of running into each other.

If they DO. It gets BAD and it gets bad FAST. Ghosts can merge together and so your'e dealing with double the ribbons and double the claws. Their roaming spaces merge which mean that they can find more ghosts to merge with. There isn't really a limit on how many ghosts can merge together. When things like natural disasters happen, you can get large ghost conglomerates and FAST.

It is very rare but sometimes the ghosts will haunt people. People who stay in one space the majority of the time are stuck in the same haunting area as a ghost. All they have to do is temporary move away until either a Ghost Fighter destroys the ghost or it dissipates on its own. If they do end up being possessed you essentially have a ghost in free roam. There really isn't bringing someone back from that.

Generally people cant see ghosts. Ghost Fighters can, of course, but there are also very rare 'psychics' who can see ghosts. Most people cant see them until they start to conglomerate in numbers of 20 or 30. By then it is a VERY large ghost mass and needs to be dealt with. The effects of the ghost can be seen (claw marks in cement, dents where they've been thrown into walls) but generally they go un-noticed by the population.

ALRIGHT. RANDOM FUN DOODLES ASIDE lets talk Ghost Fighter physiology. (it is so so important to me that Roxanne has No Chill whatsoever. SO. IMPORTANT.)

All Ghost Fighters have 'nail polish' with their corresponding color. It used to help them identify each other, but after the rise of nail polish its uhhhhh. not very effective. It's really not nail polish though, thats just the color of the nail now :)

Connection Gems rest on the chest and are embedded into flesh. They allow a Familiar to channel magic through their person! Familiars are a lot like the 'paper flamethrower' metaphor. Lots of power, but unable to use it without destroying themselves. Ghost Fighters allow them a way to express their magic.

EYES. You already know what the fuck it is bro. I don't need to explain myself here yall know me by now but fuck it imma try and find a way to reason it out anyway. Humans aren't really built to contain so much magic, so it shows through in little ways, like shining out of their eyes just a lil bit.

Speaking of which, Ghost Fighters are a little uh. Weird. You know the whole thing with elves? Where they look almost too pretty and the longer you look the stranger it gets? They have that going on. Their hair is always settled just right, their skin is dewy and almost shiny, the light always hits their eyes JUST right. Even bedheads still manage to looks planned and perfect.

SO. When you get a guy like Robbie? Whose attractive to start with but scowls all the time? When he finally DOES smile? Holy Shit. Nobody is prepared for it. Nuclear levels of pretty. Almost hurts to look at. 100 Billion enraptured 30,000 gay / bi awakening.

More stuff about familiars (Eli in particular. Need to think harder about his specific weirdness), transformation sequences, ultimate attacks, and interpersonal relationships on the way. I just. NEEDED. To get what I have so far out there dude. Brain too full. Door stuck. DOOR STUC K.

#ghost rider magical girl au #my art #sketch #ghost rider #robbie reyes #johnny blaze #danny ketch #heads up #this aint proofread this is just my pure unadalturated brain vomit so if you have questions or suggestions FUCKIN HIT ME WITH EM #brother when I tell you this au is wrecking me #I havent abandoned everything else I promise I just need to wait for this. fuckin. FEVER. of an idea to break

[mrpsychokiller]

i am actually so suspicious of this god damn moth post but i cant find any concrete evidence to prove theres something wrong with it other than my gut feeling and i feel insane

like of course first of all this post is from 2013 and im not really willing to believe any given post from 2013 is true specially when the post is this amazing coincidence of this person coincidentally finding those two coincidentally aesthetically pleasing moths and managing to get them coincidentally snuggling together for a picture. yknow. it does feel too weirdly good to be true

BUT SECONDLY im so weirded out by these two moths specifically.

ok bear with me. the little one is very obviously a rosy maple moth. (which is also coincidentally one of the most famous moths specifically for being pretty)

but im willing to believe any given english speaking tumblrgirl at the time could find one considering they live seemingly accross the united states and canada. fair enough

BUT my problem is the big one. of course everybody even in the notes seems to be classifying it as a luna moth (ALSO a famous moth species for being pretty) you can also feasibly find them in north america, ok.

theres also the point of their lifespans

luna moths as adults live only for about 7-10 days, and i had a harder time finding info for adult rosy maple moths but it seems its about the same

the source of this is an old article from someone actively breeding maple moths x but i believe its the same with moths in general, since they literally dont have mouths and cant eat so they just mate and die.

SO youre gonna have a small time span to find one. both moths are also mainly nocturnal, which makes even weirder that op found both of them during the day.

theres also the point of WHEN are they adults. aka maply moths seem to show from from may through the summer

luna moths though, seem to vary in when they show up depending on place. some do include late may or early june on northern regions, ans a generation in july in central states.

which means you could, feasibly, have a span of about a week or so in may, june or july where both maple moths and luna moths are adults and alive at the same time.

BUT THE POST IN QUESTION IS FROM APRIL 16

thats NOT when adult rosy maple moths show up, much less both of them.

though maybe im just being too pedandic with specific dates and theres margin for variation, but its, again, some real big coincidences

BUT FINALLY theres the fact im suspicious about this luna moth IN THE FIRST PLACE.

i might just be going actually crazy here, but for this we've been assuming the luna moth is the species that exists in north america (otherwise these two wouldnt be in the same place at all)

and like this is what the luna moth looks like

(pictures from wikipedia)

and you see how theyre kinda weird compared to the one in the pic.

the luna moths are mostly green, with much less of this pretty pastel pink of the one on the tumblr post. you could argue they have pink markings but in most pictures i see they seem more like a dark red/brown with a remarkable very thick marking on the wings

you see how the moth in the pic just looks kinda weird. but that can also be from filters or editing to make the photo prettier making the colors different.

(i also think the tail looks weirdly long, but there seems to be variation in the tail length in various luna moth pics ive seen, so i cant speak for sure about that)

(i also cant tell you whether the sizes in comparison to each other are right cause i suck at visualizing size comparisons and its not like theres any other pic on earth of the two together so.)

CONCLUSION: i dont fucking know. i spent an hour looking moths up online and didnt get any reasonable answer to my doubts. i guess in the end THERE is, even if small, a chance of you finding both these boths alive at the same time in the same place so i can fully discredit the op. i give up im going to have breakfast

#🧃

[myrfing]

sorry to add to the #discourse about the werlyt stuff in ffxiv, and feel free to ignore this, but your posts just got me thinking about how the average western consumer of japanese media doesn't know how to spot signs of japanese nationalism in their fave game, movie, anime, etc. For example, I remember a couple of weeks ago on twitter someone said that Miyazaki's works feature prominent elements of japanese nationalism despite not necessarily being pro-war, and both the replies and QRTs were an absolute disaster. ffxiv is a liberal game, its politics are not exceptional; they just aren't (as) egregious

Considering the social locations of people who make a piece of media and how that location affects the way they write things, like politics, isn't an outlandish concept. But ffxiv fans always seem hyperdefensive about this and i cannot understand why

yeah for sure! imo people are getting better about it (don't think it even registered in most of the english-speaking side of the internet's heads that there was a pacific theater for a long time), with more eastern media being translated and gaining popularity that DOES legitimately have leftist authors, but you still have a ton of "how can this work have jp nationalist elements when they say War is Bad 🤨". feels like a lot of this is cause really anime/manga/games were so vaunted as the ultimate escape for americans (not exclusive) and now that people are gaining more of a political consciousness, there's this need for the things that are nostalgic and soothing for them to be "good" media without Problems. which is like. not the point man. though people have always studied and conversed about media trends and the influence of eras on the art created within them and there's always been a knee-jerk You're Being Crazy reaction to it (even though if it's a conversation they're not interested in right now, the people who have this reaction usually can always just...step out lol), I feel like it's just magnified by the way social media uhh does all that. and on top of it a lot of discourse is in bad faith, so sometimes not giving people the time of day DOES seem like the correct and safe option every time but it's like...some people apply it so broadly and blindly that it's basically anything that upsets me = wrong and bullshit.

And you're totally right about xiv LMFAOOO it feels like some people are compelled to do damage control for the game like it's personal. you'd assume that everyone is working off of the recognition that ffxiv is a mass market product and a feel-good fantasy and the writing may not even reflect the totality of a writer's beliefs, but rather what they believe is the median, liberal truth that they're willing to sell. sometimes in oddball places you can find hints of something more genuine but these are exceptions. & acting like it's proofed from this is suggesting that somehow final fantasy fourteen the mmo is interested in breaking any status quos and the whole of its creators have collectively managed to break apart from the time and history they exist in, when in truth it relies on it to guide its writing and business plan. i don't think this is a crazy controversial thing. it's a normal thing. & i cant really speak for how other people are talking about it, but i rarely suggest malevolence in my critiques of the shit I enjoy moreso than I'm saying Le Hegemony Has Arrived....something not even individual people can escape myself included much less a corporation....but the accusation is assumed anyway. What is the worst that can happen by acknowledging some stories and patterns in xiv's story have very liberal takes on topics in which liberalism understands and treats poorly? i dunno the answer to this one honestly I do not understand the fear

#also dont worry im the DISCOURSEKEEPER if you kill me it will cause a flood of light that will blockchain 9/10ths of the world #also enjoying werlyt or whatever doesn't make you a colonizerhead but leaping to defend it may. #like it's ok i'm not watching you play. nobody is watching. #UNTIL YOU COME ONLINE AND SAY SHIT ABOUT IT! THEN YOU'RE INI MYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY YARD (joke)

[scaraberri]

Celestial Symphony

[04: The past cant change]

[scaramouche x Fem!reader]

Word count: 1k

Note: hi

Eula, Sara , Kokomi , Noelle , Duchess (?)

Eula walked through the hallways of [l/n] manor.  Its clear that duke [l/n] is quite a popular aristocrat from all the expensive art placed through the hallways, whether they were gifts or rewards. No matter what prestige he holds that never makes him a good father nor a good man…

The Knight opens the door to the room she had been searching, slowly turning the door knob.

“Lady Lawrence” the Duchess greets her, smiling at her

“Your grace” Eula slight bows her head but that’s all the respect she’s getting form her

They stand in awkward silence before the duchess speaks again “Please come have a seat” she motions to the empty chair Infront of her.

Eula closes the door behind her before going to sit next to the duchess.

“So how have her studies been” the duchess asks signaling a maid to fetch her some tea

“They’ve been going good actually, she’s a quick learner” Replies, the maid now having brought some tea and was pouring in into two cups

“I see so I’m guessing she’s now on par with most children of the aristocracy” The duchess said raising her cup to her lips…

The cup barely stops near Eula’s lips “Pardon?”

“Oh, its nothing” She smiles yet again “What I mean is it’s surprising a child like her even managed survive a month”

“What are you saying?” Eula glares at the duchess, she will not tolerate any insults thrown her way, especially if it concerns her student.

“I’m sure that someone of pure noble blood as your self can understand”

“Her existence is a pure mistake honestly it should be as if she never existed in the first place-”

Crack

“Lady Eula…” the duchess stares Blankley at the broken cup as pieces of glass slipped from Eula’s hand

“Apologies I understand that was some off your best Tupper wear” Eula stares at the shards of glass on the floor “I’ll make it up to you”

See doesn’t even spare a glance and quickly walks out the door

The maid hesitantly approaches the broken pieces of glass on the floor as she looks up to see the duchess’s expression

“Your grace”

“I’m fine Lenora….” She places her head on her hand

“I’ll convince her sooner or later”

○•♡•○•♡•○•♡•○•♡•○•♡•○

…

…

“Your grace” Noelle’s head pops into your line of sight blocking your view of the ceiling.

“Is something wrong?” you ask, barely moving a muscle.

“Should we perhaps go out on a stroll? I don’t think staying in that position for long is good for your blood flow…”

“…I don’t really feel like it” you look to the side…Noelle frowns at this…

“Your grace is everything alright?” Noelle asks her voice much quieter that it originally was

“Huh…oh…no I’m fine” you smile

“You’re not, why is it that every time you smile you seem so … tired?”

tired

tired?...

“[n/n] please tell me what’s wrong…I’m supposed to be your personal maid, I’m supposed to help your grace with any matter big or small…”  

You sigh deeply catching Noelle by surprise

“I guess … I am tired” you start, Noelle gently holds your hand before you continue

“I’m so sick of this house, I’ve only been here for a month and I hate it. No one’s telling me anything … No one told me what I have to do now, that I’m an heir …” you hugged your knees burying your face in them

“I-…I want to know how he died; I want to know where he’s buried. He was my brother … the only one I had …”

○•♡•○•♡•○•♡•○•♡•○•♡•○

It was spring at the time. You were in your house’s backyard, picking up flower petals that fell in from your neighbor’s flower tree. Your mother was currently cooking whatever you were suppose to have for dinner, but your 4-year-old self could care less.

You messily held onto the petals, looking up at the tree they fell from. You lowered your gaze only to stop the person who had been stalking you from the bushes.

“…hi” The stranger said

“…” you just stare at, After all what else is a baby supposed to say?

The stranger stands up from the bushing tripping 3 times trying to get out of it…

You stare at the fallen stranger quietly, but to him it looked like you were having the intent of killing him with the silent stare.

He sits up, meeting your level “So…”

…

..

.

You pick out a flower petal stuck in his hair, and show it to him

“O-oh a petal” he hold it “haha .. I guess it got stuck when I was stuck in the bush”

He looks up at your small form

“you look so much like me…” he gently stretches your cheeks

“same hair color”

“same eyes”

“hmm” well that’s the first time he heard your voice with in your whole interaction

“What your name baby?” the young boy stands up

…

..

.

“[Nn]…”

“[Nn]??? Like…[n/n]???” god he cannot process a word your saying

“Yesh..” you give him a thumbs up…or at least you try to…

“So your [n/n]” he ruffles your hair, as he smiles to himself

The happy moment was however cut short with the taller figure looming behind the two of you…

“What. Are. You. Doing. Here.”

○•♡•○•♡•○•♡•○•♡•○•♡•○

Noelle shut’s the door behind her as she enters the study. “Lady Eula” She greet Eula who was sitting on her chair reviewing some papers.

“You came later than expected, did something happen”

Noelle thinks back to when you had cried about how you felt isolated within the dutchy but chose not to bring it up yet.

“There were some extra errands that I had to run within the dutchy that’s all-”

“Now don’t be rude” Noelle is caught off guard, a familiar voice cuts her voice…

“Aren’t you going to greet us?” Sara crosses her arms, while kokomi sips tea sitting beside her

“Ah- Lady Kokomi, Lady Kujou-! I didn’t notice you-” Noelle bow’s

“You don’t have to panic Sara was just messing with you” Kokomi chuckles

“Don’t take it to heart” Sara adds…

Noelle stays silent for a minute “Why was I called here?”

“No reason, The marchioness just wanted to see you” Eula tosses the papers she was reading on to her desk

“Oh, so that’s what you were reading” Sara get up from her seat on the sofa…” The missing reports that Viscount Loske was Struggling over, I heard they went missing…so you stole them?”

“Of course, not what do you take me for, it was a package, I have yet to find the sender”

“Guess the shame of the Lawrence clan wouldn’t stoop so low”

“Oh, keep it to yourself you ill-bred witch”

Sara scans over the documents “There's notes too” she flips through the pages

Noelle just stares at the two when kokomi motioned her to sit next to her, Noelle slowly makes her way to the marchioness and sits next to her

“How has [y/n] been?” kokomi asks, but with the look Noelle has on her face its doesn’t seem good…

“She said she felt isolated … that no one was telling her anything and it made her feel unimportant”

“I can only guess as much, unlike mine her situation much more different from so I’m not sure my advice can be helpful … has she made any friends yet”

“She hasn’t left her room enough to do that yet” Noelle mentally sobs, burying her face in the palms of her hands “I don’t want my lady to turn into a shut in!”

“Don’t worry Noelle she won’t” Kokomi pats Noelle’s back “I’m sure she’ll be fine with such a dedicated maid by her side” That alone is not enough to rest Noelle’s worries.

The two shift their focus onto the other two bickering Infront of the desk

“It’s detailed” Sara comments

“Isn’t it a felony if you steal Documents from the tenryou commission” Eula asks having her arms crossed

“It is, but who care right now, look at this. Whoever did this clearly had the intention of helping”

…

“You who know it is, don’t you?”

Sara hums in response “I’ve seen this handwriting before”

Eula only scoffs, of course she knew

Kokomi finally stands up from her seat walking towards the two, Noelle following her behind slowly

“Let’s leave it at this for now, we have other matters to discuss, beside we can’t crack the case without [y/n] being here”

“You want to bring her into this?” Eula asks

“It’s only fair, After all this is her brother we’re talking about”

Taglist:

@kunikuzushis-darling @swivy123

Masterlist:

#wanderer x reader #wanderer x y/n #scaramouch x y/n fluff #scaramouche x reader fluff #scaramouche x reader #wanderer x reader fluff #kunikuzushi x y/n #genshin scaramouche #beryl.is.free

[withgreatpowercomesmyfuckingdick]

GENESIS CHAPTER!!! YESSSSSSS MY BOYY

Genesis is a hate-reader 🍷 Canon to me. I'm also glad you give him time to shine as a strategist, like, he IS a caster and one of the most proficient SOLDIERs in existence 💅stands to reason he does have to think things through on the battlefield and this isn't addressed nearly enough imo.

Zack "I'm not traumatized 😀" Fair is breaking my heart here. Both Cloud and Zack get to miraculously be together after losing the other, but the fear is fresh in Zack's mind. And unfortunately due to the rapidly developing situation (SCREAMS) he doesn't really have time to process and address it, and that's assuming he isn't avoiding doing so like the plague because Cloud's alive so everything's fine now right? 😀 Except it's super not and now Zack is the only one who really knows how not fine it is 💔

Speaking of not addressing emotions lol Angeal is in full repression mode and Sephiroth is isolatinggg 😬 I know how easy it is to withdraw when you're used to not having anyone there for you, when you have to figure out and manage everything yourself regardless of how unequipped you are for the task, but I also feel for Genesis here because it really does take a lot of work to gently coax people out of that over and over again. I like how you're addressing this in general, but especially from this pov! I really feel Genesis' frustration here. He knows it would get better if Seph just came home 😥

I really enjoyed the intel gathering scene with Bolin 👌👌👌 You're really serving up top shelf Genesis in this chapter and it's delightful to watch! But Camp 28 is stressing me tf out agagshshshshs Zack is somewhat reassured for now but even Kenny is worried about Cloud's lack of self preservation (physically and emotionally damn) and he doesn't even know how bad of a situation they're walking into! Though no one really knows and that's kind of the problem, but I love Kenny and I want him to survive this 😭 He needs to survive so he can be brave and trust Juvie with the kids!

Speaking of kids, CLAUDIA IS SO PRECIOUS I CANT 💕 I'm as bad as Vincent at this point. Claudia deserves the world (and she doesn't even exist anymore.. I will never be ok again 🫠)

I'm a little worried about whatever Genesis has planned to address the Camp 28 situation, because, well, it's Genesis lol but at the same time I love his constant rebellion against being told "no" 💅

Thanks for the amazing chapter!!!! Time to reread the whole thing again to distract myself from the incredible suspense of what's to come 😁🍿

HI HI HI THANKS FOR LEAVING ME THIS TO WAKE UP TO!!!

Genesis being a strategist just makes sense to me. Like. The man led a rebellion against Shinra that turned into a straight up war, waged it for a decent amount of time, and managed to not immediately get eradicated. That in itself says the man’s got SOME brains on him lol

Yeahhh Zack’s still in the “just happy Spike’s here” stage and honestly doesn’t even realize what he’s doing. The weight of carrying Cloud’s secret is kinda trumping his own emotions in importance, which miiiiiight not be good :/

It’s kind of sad when, to an extent, Genesis is being the most emotionally intelligent among them. I mean. Seriously. Genesis? Same guy that thought talking Sephiroth into insanity would make the dude help heal him? Yeah if he’s the smartest emotionally everyone needs some DIRE help.

But also guess what conflict is going to be resolved next chapter because I like making Seph suffer but not THAT damn much? Angeal’s repression might take a bit longer but gimme a second there’s five character arcs going on at once 😂

Camp 28 is, if you guys didn’t notice, another parade situation, except I’m dragging it out for effect LMAO. It obviously isn’t exactly the same but…well, you’ll see ;) Kenny’s just trying to look out for a buddy :( Cloud’s doing the same thing, just like…way more risky and possibly self destructive. Immortality went RIGHT to his head IMMEDIATELY

Cloud says it’s his daughter but that’s OUR DAUGHTER!!!

And like you said lmao—

Sephiroth: Genesis, no

Genesis: is that a fucking challenge

Nah seriously like, Genesis and ‘letting that slide’ don’t go in a sentence together. it’s just

Genesis, squinting at Camp 28: I don’t know what the fuck’s going on but TRUST you will be dealt with

Feel AWFUL for leaving this answer to you in my drafts for like…for fucking ever 😭 But thanks for leaving me this lovely!!! Always encouraging to read a lil smth from you 🖤🖤🖤

#liddle’s asks #wgpcmfg

[koinomegaluvr]

Decided to revisit an old character design on a whim and generate more concept sketches. His name is Ulysses!

Ulysses is an inter-dimensional entity that guards a place that exists outside of time and space, which loops for forever and eternity (Think of the house from silent hills PT!). He is the keeper of a 5-star hotel who exists to serve, well—no one. He is the only being there most of the time, unless a traveller happens on his little pocket space.

Ulysses is often seen wandering the halls, sometimes dragging empty baggage carts. Other times, he is seen standing still and restlessly checking his pocket watch despite time being non-existent.

If you frequent the lobby often, you might see him behind the check-in desk writing something furiously, sending messages to no one using an unrecognizable form of morse-code, reading an untitled book with no author, or playing a game of backgammon by himself.

It is certain, however, that most of the time you encounter him, he will either be crying or has tear-streaked cheeks from crying beforehand. Ulysses doesn’t speak. It’s unclear if he is mute or doesn’t know how to speak, but generally, he is as quiet as a mouse. The only noise he makes with a voice is soft humming under his breath. (If you get close enough to him, you can hear his beautiful songs!) He is seen sporting one expression, misery and anguish (usually).

Despite being a man of few words, he cherishes your company! If you manage to get him to smile from telling him a funny joke or a good story, he will like you very much! If he does like you, he will bring you room service on the house or leave you little gifts. But whatever you do, don’t get too attached to him, and don’t let him get too attached to you. Your stay is merely temporary and your departure is unknown. You will never be able to come back once you leave. Should either of you get attached, the both of you will be plagued with an emptiness that only grows by the day.

Ulysses is not a malevolent entity by nature, and is much more interested with doing his “job”. Usually, he will leave you be if you pass him, however, if you try to provoke him or antagonize him, he will reveal his true form and destroy you.

I have not designed his true form, and will most likely never do so because i cant draw inspiration for something my mind has never seen before. But do know that it is otherworldly.

Ulysses isn’t necessarily a “backrooms” character, but still is heavily inspired by liminal aesthetics and horror which is essentially a core of what the backrooms is.

#ulysses the bellhop #my ocs #original characters #my art #liminal spaces

[taee]

genuinely how do you deal with this fandom? i am reaching burnt out levels of exhaustion dealing with its whining, witch hunting underdog complex. i get things have been rough but some of them really act out like children. worse, like headless chicken who can't be trusted in society. the level of pettiness infantilization and almost cult like behavior that some parts of it are exhibiting is honestly worrying. and that's without mentioning the feeling of entitlement to the members private moments. i just. so goddamn tired of it all. i have tired but i dont think i can keep interact with it as closely as I've been doing

and i cant speak for them, but I fear the members are also getting sick of it

My response got a little too long so I'm putting it under the cut!

Honestly…I just actively ignore the toxic parts of it. Not the best way to handle things but there really is no point getting invested in all the drama because in most cases they just turn out to be a waste of time and emotions. Like Issues that don’t exist and only blew up because someone’s personal opinion/assumption went viral on social media. I don’t need to go into more details because I believe you’ve seen a lot more than I have…Anyway, I’d much rather spend more time in things that actually matter like loving and supporting the members. I’m here for a good time and I also want to be here for a long time. 

I can see why this fandom is extremely protective of the boys considering all that they’ve been through in the past, but there is a line that we shouldn’t cross. We’re a very spoiled fandom I don’t deny that. A huge part of the members’ lives have been made into content and fed to us all these years. So much that some of us forget that the members have their private lives off camera. And they go crazy when they learn about a fact but there is no visual content for them to consume. 

I actually do believe that the members themselves recognise this too, the song Pied Piper is a good indication…

I’m very late to this I’m truly sorry ;; I do hope you’ve managed to distance yourself from all the toxicity and negativity since. If not, please do so! I think another thing you can do other than a social media cleanse is to give your following list a purge. Blacklist and block content that you don't want to see, you have all the right to do that. Your wellbeing comes first, so take care okay? Sending lots of love and hugs your way <3

#if you still need a place to scream about the members my inbox is always open!! #(i’m not perfect myself but…you choosing dropping this in my inbox…i hope that means you’re comfortable with me ;;) #though I may take awhile a little while to respond sometimes…my bad #answered #anon

[rin-and-jade]

Hiii! I hope you had a great year or at least you had fun and felt that you're alive, safe and loved :) the holydays are coming and I cant shake the feeling that I must wish you a peaceful one :'D I hate holydays :')

So. I dont know if you can remember me. Im that person who's told you about all my struggles regarding studying and having issues with controlling my attention and how I couldn't manage to pass an exam bc of my dissociation/ time processing i think a year ago i've written you that message... (I managed to pass the second one and it was great actually) but I wanted to ask you something. If you have the knowledge and/ or experience of course. At first I must point out i've been diagnosed with bpd, I dont know if this is a trait of it or if its DID... but. im having trouble with identifying whether this kind of problem is among others with DID or if Im just strictly borderline (maybe its just denial) and so. is it something thats related to bordeline if im not seeing this personalities as being "present" as I am? Like, i cant say they have ever been there at least as always as long as I am most of the time. I feel like they are always just standing behind me looking after me but at the same time letting me doing all the work. Sure. there are times when some dude is taking over to do the physical chores or the dude whos taking over just to have fun and get drunk (she's here right now cuz im tipsy and tried to "have fun") or when im in nature the hippy one comes near just to show me how important it is just being alive and appreciating nature.... but I dont feel like they are some separeted beings from me. As I was saying, they let me do all the work. I happen sometimes to have emotional amnesia and doing things without having control but they arent here! Does it make sense? Sometimes they speak to me and try to make themselves understood but only in those moments when im not aware as though they're sneaky and trying to hide from me... I doesnt seem fair, thats all.. and im really trying to make peace with them and whenever the persecutor comes into action im telling him to go fuck himself and try to be a bully with somebody else not with the persons who suffered. I mean why doesnt he try to come when we actually need him? For example when somebody is mean to us and we need to stop let ourselves be the black sheep or even when we feel verbally atacked? So im trying to get reasonable with him at that part. But there arent any signs that they really exist... they are somewhere deep I cant acces anything. And im thinking. I must have a to much active imagination. I given my sorrows and anxieties names, personalities overall. I feel guilty bc I dont want to seem like a bad person just for trying to find out what is going on in my dissociated mind (i dissociate a lot. So much that i cant understand my current life).... I dont want to seem like i pretend that I am someone or more likely somebodies that I am not.

So to summerize this: is it something common to find yourself that you lack the life activity around you of your personalities? They are only coming when its something urgent like remembering stuff at work or something that puts us in danger for not being neurotypicals, or when we need to remember what we studyied, what our names is, or how old are we (dont even get me started we sometimes guess wrong :'). ) when we have stuff to do and I feel like shit and I cant handle. What do you think? Sorry for the long message Im only trying to figure this out. Maybe you'll have a clue what im talking about because im getting the feeling that im too drunk to write concise (also this is not my first language)

Im gonna sign with two initials so you'll know from now on if we ever have other questions to ask you with L. (shes always trying to help shes the flower power one) and E. (shes just plain bold and very brave at everything she does)

Again im wishing you a wonderful day/night and a peaceful holyday (　・ω・)♡♡♡♤♤♤

Wait.. i KNOW you, it’s the brisk break method i ever told because sometimes focusing for too long depletes people’s energy faster and some other tips! Im so glad you actually passed because I’ve been sat here thinking if theres a change in your studies after seeing your ask being answered.

Would you pour me a glass too here as i say some stuffs,, also im having a great holiday, merry xmas.

I would admit that when we talk about alternate personalities between BPD and DID, its bit hard to actually discern which is which because it’s broad and everyone has it uniquely (aka will never be the same, thus cannot rule out easily) so.. hm. I have a way to explain and guide to your conclusion:

These two mental conditions fall into the same dissociative spectrum with different severity, thus why it may have similarities and could even overlap which will be harder to tell which belongs to what. That being said, the similarities with these two would be: some level of identity separation/disconnection, has normal and emotinal amnesia, automatic responses by dissociating to keep oneself from danger, and some inconsistencies with yourself.

The difference settles on the severity, how its triggered, and what related symptoms are commonly associated with the disorder.

As a bpd holder i can clearly tell apart which is from the disorder or not; you will have some sense of alternation, with this it won’t be as bad and you are aware that it’s part of you (which not always the case for did) + it doesn’t necessarily involve a shift in age, worldview or how you see yourself physically and more limited to states, percievings, and feelings. The critics are also in first-person for e.g. “this is so fricking stupid of me to say __ before, why did i do that???” That won’t apply to did.

Thats for one, though i want to keep it short so in general i want to say that bpd is from “idk which version of me is the actual me and i have a hard time finding and sticking to an authentic one” while did is “idk who i am and i thought i like this which turns out untrue after a few hours and i barely have got a sense of myself which makes me get stumped whenever i got asked something” kind of thing.

Things that are more bpd related: have struggles maintaining relations, mood swingy, fear of abandonment, emotional impermanence, anxious, very susceptible to amygdala hijacking

Things that are more did related: shifted sense of time, significant memory gaps, problems with memory consolidation and recall, frequent dissociation, feeling out of body, feeling not like yourself, inconsistent preferences

I cannot vouch if this is a yes or no about the question, coming from a system myself. So i hope you can do a bit more digging and use my insight to further help you, also feel free to contact me via DMs if it’s stull confusing. For now, i advice you to read more resources and take my words into account,

See you later!

- j

#did #actually did #did community #did osdd #did system #sysblr #janswersask

[lichdragon-fortissax]

Ok speaking of Demigods what do you Mohg's relationships with his siblings/half-siblings are like? I only ask because he seems especially divorced from them in game

Okay so first off, I think that there's a 50-50 split between those who know Mohg and are kind of weirded out/uncomfortable with his existance, and those who just straight-up don't know Mohg exists at all. Of the Omen Twins, Mohg seems to be the one that was less socialized and who spent the most time lurking in the shadows, so I think it might be very possible that Radahn, Rykard, and Ranni didn't even know he was one of Marika's sons (though Ranni likely figured it out). Malenia and Miquella might have been kept in the dark at first before their similar curses revealed Marika's elder batch of dissapointments, but of the two, only Miquella might have held any pity/fascination with Mohg- though something tells me it was a selfishly scientific fascination with only a sprinkling of pity. We don't know anything about Godwyn bc lets be real, him becoming the Prince of Death was probably the most interesting part of his character, but I think it likely that Marika told him his younger brothers died, if he even knew what became of them at all. Either way, Mohg's feral nature and utter lack of social skills don't really point to Godwyn lending Godfrey a hand with them (if Mohg and Morgott were even his younger brothers; cant remember if the birth order was stated). Because let's be real here, Mohg isn't so much insane as he is a half-baked feral child who got scooped up by an outer god to be the leader of her blood cult, and has his whole worldview focused around her philosophies and what he learned from growing up in the literal sewers. That's not really conductive to starting up a family reunion, and since Mohg spends so much time lurking in the shadows with his cultists anyways, he might not even be aware of what the whole 'family beyond the Formless Mother and maybe Morgott' even means. He just knows that he was abandoned, what was denied from him, and that he's hellbent on taking it back by any means possible- the others (besides Miquella, whose Empyrean status = free ticket to lordhood) are just enemies in the way to building his new dynasty. So Mohg wouldn't want them to know he exists either.

As for his relationship with Morgott, I'm torn between the angst of them being chained seperatly from each other to prevent them escaping (ouch), or them being extremely close in the sewers and then having some sort of fight later on that drove them apart (my personal fav). Morgott doesn't speak about Mohg at all, despite Mohg being one of the traitors he so resents, which I personally interpret as him simply not wanting to lump Mohg in with the rest bc he actually views him as his brother, while the rest of his 'family' are just scheming outsiders who want nothing more than to put a knife in his back. Certainly neither brother seems to view the rest of the demigods as family- and who can blame them? Their 'family' cast them aside to be shunned and forgotten, so they didn't learn the social mores around that bullshit, and when they did escape, the others probably immidiatly became enemies. It was just Mohg and Morgott against the Shunning-Grounds, and then the shattering split them apart. Mohg probably managed to cope with the reassurance of the Formless Mother, but for Morgott...it's a lot more complicated

#elden ring #mohg lord of blood #morgott the omen king #elden ring headcanon #for context this doesnt excuse mohgs actions #i just think him being a literal feral child explains a lot

[doomxdriven]

@soulxfragments (continuing from x):

Cold. Depriving herself of anything but those pure, raw instincts as she grew rigid where she stood. She was waiting. He had used up whatever patience she was willing to give. Trap her, and be faced with something that detaches from humanity. A predator kept in check beneath a human facade. It was what she had become. What she had embraced. Live and die in the depths of madness if she must. Maximize survival potential. Nothing else mattered in moments like these.

She was vicious. Relentlessly cruel. Ready to strip him down - flesh, and bone, to the very core of his existence and dispatch the remnants in the most vile of manners. Nevermind that she was a guest here. He had intruded upon her purpose within the Seireitei. She would not be enslaved again.

As walls crumbled, she remained stilled. Calculating the next course this man may take in an effort to achieve whatever his agenda had been in finding her. His words are met with silence. Even at the clap of hands, her mind processing everything she’s gaining from her origami crane to try and understand the fullness of where this situation was heading.

He wanted to talk? Bright blinding light - she’s unaffected where blind eyes fail to experience it - and suddenly… she’s smelling the air. Tasting the wind. Feeling the sensation of cloth dance against her body as the breeze tosses it about. And he? Sharp ears listen to the sounds that naturally follow the presence of a body. Clothing. Breathing. The scent of his aroma on the air should she manage to catch it. She’s seething beneath that stoic exterior. But she is still far too new to being a Shinigami, to act. Too new with Muramasa to be able to work with him cleanly. It was better to subdue these tendencies, and allow him his opportunity to speak.  Even if her immediate response was raw violence.

At least now - she was no longer in a cage. She was stood atop a cliff overlooking the Seireitei. Her head turned just-so to collect all the information she can outside of what her little origami crane could provide. Fill in the gaps. Paint a picture within her mind so she could better act accordingly should things take even more of a turn.

“Whatever knowledge you believe you have of me, clearly has proven to be insubstantial.” Empty. Deprived of whatever emotion she may be feeling in that moment. All of it buried away. The inferno tucked carefully deep down. Waiting. Biding her time for an opportunity to strike. “I will not waste unnecessary time on someone so sub-par.”

Bansui stands there calm and languid as ever, despite the cold, vicious force that was Jezebel only a handful of feet away. Bansui knew of course that Jezebel wasn't all bark (he had watched her long enough to know that well), in fact, based on her body language and tone, he was almost certain that she was only a few nerves away from lunging at him right now, but he also knew that if he had to, he could handle anything she threw his way.

Bansui was still hoping the two of them wouldn't come to blows, however. That would be, as Bansui had stated before, unfortunate, not only because it could lead to other problems, but it would force him to put in way more effort here tonight than he wanted to…

"Insubstantial…. unnecessary… sub-par, what egregious words, my good Substitute Shinigami. How… far, from the… truth, thou be on… all accounts."

Bansui, in a slow, listless motion, cants his head to one side and holds up his free hand, pointing at Jezebel briefly.

"I am, certainly no… Urahara Kisuke, by any means," Bansui slowly points to himself, a deep, guttural, yet knowing chuckle emanating from behind his mask after mentioning that name, "but, I know… more than enough about thee, more than… enough."

Jezebel's Origami would likely bear witness to a sudden flash of, strange light a yard or so behind Bansui, and while it may have been too quiet for Jezebel to hear herself, her Origiami might have also picked up on what sounded like Bansui quickly speaking under their breath.

Mere seconds later, three figures would appear from the light, and once it died down, the three would begin approaching Bansui, or rather, two of them approached, with the third between them being forcibly dragged.

Two of the sudden arrivals were dressed in garb similar to Bansui's, but the third, the one being dragged, possessed attire that seemed more… Western,along with the sack covering their face and the ropes that bound them.

"I would not… engage events, such as those.. seen tonight," Bansui continued, now gesturing at Jezebel with his staff, his other hand orientated toward the sky, "were I, and our God, Our King, not… certain."

The footsteps approaching from behind Bansui get louder as he goes on speaking, until soon enough they cease. The two figures clad in Kido Corps attire then throw the third person onto the ground, right beside Bansui.

"I… however, expected thou may… require, more convincing, and perchance, a peace offering."

Bansui points his staff toward the ground, toward the mysterious, bound figure, "That is why I… decided, to bring this, wretched Soul; they are a very… naughty, visitor, from our.. estranged, Western Branch, and I… do believe, thou shall find them… interesting."

#soulxfragments #bansui: ic #;your heart is darkness (bansui: main verse); #//sorry i had to move this to a new post. i couldnt edit the original one-- tumblr finally revoked my legacy editor rights gGSDFGJHSDGHJFSD

[sicklyslug]

15.2.23

this wont be a daily thing but im here again today ig,,

today was good.

today could even be described as great !

I spent all day with my mum in the city shopping and it was so nice just being able to enjoy a moment in time with my mum that isn't drowning in horrible comments about me or other people. we got along like a normal mother and son and it was nice.

nice is the word to describe today actually.

there is this fossil shop in the city that i heard about a few months ago that i've desperately wanted to go to which was quite possibly the most exciting part. I got a little ammonite that was apparently 110mil years old and he now sits proudly on my shelve next to my mini teacups and winnie the pooh music box.

today was nice but i still feel dreadful, i managed to keep my cals low all day and i still haven't gone over my limit by a long shot but my partners been in a huff and i messed up dinner so, i just feel bad. it feels like i've ruined everyones day even though i know my mum enjoyed her time and i definitely wasn't able to ruin my partners day in the hour and a half i saw them, yet i feel distraught. it would be nice to not be so anxious about others that it actively ruins my own physical and mental health.

a great example is that right now and for the past couple of days all i've needed is to be mute, i don't wanna speak what so ever but that's not all, i don't want to sign, i don't want to gesture, i don't want to message. i want to not have to communicate with a single soul for just a couple of days so i can feel like i'm fully breathing and thinking and existing without existing for other people. i just cant talk, i can't stand it, i need to just be by myself but that's just not possible when you live with your partner and have people messaging all the time and have a 'job' to do. i don't get to just fully unmask and stop all communication because people will think i'm fucking dead, which obvs i'm not.

idk i just need radio silence i think, maybe, sure.

today was a nice day though <3

#ana trigger #disordered eating mention #disordered eating thoughts #anor3x14 #anorex14 #anor3×14 #eating disoder trigger warning #eating disorer #tw ana diary #disordered eating in tags #tw ana shit #tw ana related #tw disordered eating #ana stuff #tw eating issues #eating diary #digital diary #ednos

[larnax]

officially finished ot2!!! thoughts:

its definitely a game that knows its a sequel to octopath and there were a couple of times i felt like it was poking me in the side and being like "lol you get it its like octopath. this is an octopath game. bet you eat this shit up" especially with the octopuff sidequest and like i did think it was charming but i wasnt happy about it. how dare you clock me as an octopath fan

i think castti, agnea, and hikari's stories are good, i think ochette, throné, partitio, and osvald's stories are Good Except For All The Bad Parts, and temenos' story is the worst story octopath has had since primrose

the monkeys paw sure fucking curled when i said one of the things i didnt like about 1's postgame was that a bunch of the characters had been interacting with important figures in the postgame they just werent allowed to know they were doing it because fuck you. like why didnt tressa and alfyn get to just Meet graham considering how much of their story is About him. what i meant was that it was frustrating to feel as if the postgame made it obvious who the game cared about and who it didnt. what i did not mean was that i wanted throné's story to nosedive at the last minute and spend the finale talking to some guy who is honestly completely irrelevant to her character arc and makes the climax way weaker.

speaking of the postgame though.... it was definitely Cool aesthetically and making it possible for non-insane players to actually find was definitely nice since i wanted to play without any guides, BUT man every time octopath tries to do something with its mythology its so fucking boring to me and this was no exception. i hated how much temenos was The Main Character, i hated the way he monopolized what was allegedly supposed to be he and throné's shared torch, i thought most of the reveals did nothing to make the cast's story any more interesting, and boy oh boy is vide just Galdera, again! both in design and story. i really like octopath's mythology when its just allowed to exist mostly in gameplay details and in vague hints but every time the sacred flame is brought up its just like Please let me go home i dont want to go to sunday school anymore

did not enjoy the way cleric stole a bunch of the best skills especially because it still manages to be ass. all of the skills it stole only work on the speedy, bulky, or evasive characters they were designed for. but whatever i sure do love temenos failing to full heal half my party even with a completely boosted heal wounds, immediately getting killed, reviving and then immediately being killed again the next turn because he cant dodge shit. i think i live in some kind of hellish shadow dimension because everyone seems convinced cleric is good but in the octopath 2 i played not even having a way to deal with status effects made having an actual apothecary on the scene a necessity

would it even be octopath if the thief wasnt completely fucked over. throné girl im so fucking sorry. you couldve been so good. i can fix her

the epilogue is really cute. im a sucker for a good "thanks for playing :)"/"special thanks to You, the player" screen and having all the characters in town for agnea's show is adorable.

i think ot2 is A Good Game. i would recommend it and im glad i played it. they need to take out all that anti-piracy shit though i want video game for free on computer

#c.paradisi #octoposting #<- not the end of octoposting probably but maybe a break for awhile

[fairycosmos]

hey queen whats up! been thinking about being queer and lonely and not out irl and wondering about whether theres gonna be a time where it won't be like this and just...... feeling connected to history & how the queer aspect of my loneliness is shared between like every lgbt person ever... and also being able to shed all of that every now & then at a queer club night and suddenly im surrounded and connected and it feels so shallow personally because they're all strangers but also theres a certain safety & sense of understanding??? but then I go home to my parents house and just wait until I can feel connection to others again.. the inherent loneliness in queerness and the inherent queerness in loneliness!!! but obviously what I really want is intimacy & friendship with the added bonus of queerness so its like... how much of this is just regular old loneliness & isolation? I'm just greatful im queer bc theres any amount of connection to a specific group at all but who would I feel that way towards if I was straight? everyone or no one??

godddd i love when people are smart and intelligent and beautiful and cool like this in my inbox idc if im being cheesy - i love it more than words. i feel this so much, it speaks to me in ways that i cant even articulate. reminds me of that one quote about the closeted kid who would call all the gay bars in his town and not say anything just to hear the nightlife and the people. just to know that there's a world out there that exists beyond this alienation, literally just to know. anyway i totally hear you. i'm also closeted to most ppl irl and there is absolutely nothing that compares to the fundamental lack of understanding and connection i feel on a daily basis. i almost don't let myself think about it too much, because if i start thinking about it i realize how much it's dictating my life in a way that i can't really do anything about, and it's so painful. the endless dichotomy of being lgbt = finding community and being lgbt = being outcasted is interesting and sad. how both of those things are so endlessly true and real, how these contradictions intersect in our lives so strongly. i also often wonder what it'd be like if i was straight, or if i was out, but i always find myself back in the same place. queer and nobody really knows, and it is what it is.

i'm really glad you've managed to find some sense of community despite it all. it is so, so deserved. hope youve been having the time of your life at all the clubs and being in the midst of it all, even if you do have to come back home at the end of the night. i truly don't believe it'll always be that way for you, that it'll be a long process of breaking out and finding the right people and the right environment for yourself with time and just like, the natural progression of life. but i know that's not the point. and i do think there's a lot to be said about regular old loneliness, especially with the pandemic and ppl generally being quite estranged from one and other in general. but there's definitely a specific layer added when you factor in how it feels to not be able to be authentic with the people in your immediate reality just because of your orientation, you know? it's hard, it really really is. and i see all of these ppl my age being out and proud of who they are esp online and i just can't, which is the flip side of being able to easily find other queer ppl on the internet. but that's a whole other thing! anyway, i think a lot of lgbt ppl have this exact internal battle often and it's like you said - even in your alienation, you will always be a part of that experience and that community. there will always be people who relate to what you're going through, and you are never truly in it alone!! even though i'm always an (unintentional) downer even i can't deny the beauty and comfort in that :)

#anon #long post