#and i couldnt even bring myself to speak up and say okay im gonna go now so i just . sat there

[wickedmoonsoul]

This is something I would prefer to write in my journal, but I left it inside the house and I currently can’t get to it, so I’m just going to write it in here.

Last night me and my gf had this fight, it really sucked. We were talking about how our little chihuahua puppy needs a friend, and foe lol. She’s a handful and wants to fight all the time, so we thought if she had a kitty friend they’d probably play a lot. Unfortunately we live with my parents, and they hate cats. I recalled a time we had a cat here at the house and my parents couldn’t STAND it, it was only there because my ex had brought it, and she was living with us. So I told my gf “yeah, we used to-“ and i fucking froze because i didnt want to talk about the cat knowing it was my ex’s cat, and I knew she would ask me who’s cat it was or how i got it or something and I’d have to bring up my ex, so i just completely avoided it after. After that, she looked really upset and looked down at her phone and got quiet /.\ i asked if she was okay or upset, and at first she kept saying she was fine, but you know how you can feel when that’s not true. Then…wtf, idk for some reason i cant remember what happened next, like i cant remember word for word what was said and i dont want to make something up in replacement, i just know i ended up telling her how i was gonna tell her there was a cat here but it was my ex’s, i thought thats what she was upset about, but then she said no, it was because i said “yeah, we used to-“. She was upset about the “we” part, she thought i was still categorizing my ex with me as a we, like ew i just get ick even writing that. That person abused me mentally, physically, emotionally, and financially. I know everyone says there ex’s are narcissists, sociopaths, all that..but i really fucking lived it. I have been traumatized through that whole experience, and all i felt in that relationship was STUCK. Honestly i can go on, and i was about to but its not even the point, i just cant stress how blessed and happy i feel every day to have escaped that situation, yeah escaped. I had my mom come rescue me across the states..had donations set up to help. When I met my gf i was still in the middle of the divorce, still retraumatizing myself for evidence (yet i never sued because i didnt have the money nor mental capacity..) and she was there for it a little, but even as friends i couldnt talk to her about it, because she never wanted to hear about it, and it would upset her..she had feelings for me fairly quickly so she just didn’t really listen to me about it..for a while i had grown resentful because i was always curious about her past relationships so i know how to better care and love her, understand her wounds. Whenever she brought them up i NEVER complained. For a while she was convinced i still loved my ex, which would frustrate me leading me to confess about my resentment. Down the line of our relationship i eventually got the chance to speak about it, and she had seen videos of the verbal abuse, and physical photos. Im not even sure if she had seen the bruises photos tbh /: im too scared to ask. I know i still need to go to therapy to deal with the trauma i dealt with, that was 3 years of confusing pain. Anyway, she knows all of that and saw it, she even heard this fucked up voicemail of hers. So idk i get caught off guard when she thinks i’d still have something for someone like that, she saw so much of the trauma.

Dude all of this was so long..i got a little off track, its just how my mind works, it goes into depth about so many fucking things. Im just trying to keep it together and understand it all. Anyway..

I meant we as in me and my family here in the house, we had a cat living here at one point. I tried explaining this to her and she started behaving as if she didn’t believe me..i started to panic because a few months ago something like this happened where she believed i had sex with someone, and she fell into this delusion so deeply that she truly believed it, even though this was a close friend of mine who was married and she went through all our messages and her “evidence” was me telling her i love you for giving me makeup ideas to buy my gf a birthday gift and she was into all the new trends and fads so i asked her, i do love all my friends and this friend of mine had helped me so much through my previous relationship and even came out here with her bestfriend to hangout because my dog passed away, she also just happened to be in town because she lives 4 hours away, and was staying in a neighboring city next to our town, so she wanted to cheer me up. This was a genuine friend who NEVER romanticized me or showed any sign of interest besides friendship..i tend to struggle with friendships because they end up falling for me idk, i dint want to sound like im full of myself because i dont even understand why..anyway, I let my gf call my friend because she asked, and my friend spoke about her husband and my gf started screaming at her all these bad words and hungup and she stormed out the house in the middle of an episode, and she disappeared on the 30th of december and i fucking fell apart, she went missing for 5 days , i thought she fucking killed herself cuz her phone went off the next morning at 11am . Her last words to me were “ i hate you dont come looking for me dont contact me leave me tf alone how could you do this to me fuck you” and she sped off in her car . I cried all new years eve. I didnt eat all those days she was gone, i almost lost my job because i abruptly left, i couldn’t work because i worked near ICU cleaning the patients room and seeing all the dying patients triggered so much pain and fear and worry. She was reported missing, we had helicopters looking all over the mountains and her phone remained off all those days. We found her car at a hospital but they told us she had been discharged the next day december 31, and walked off, (they had to lie) it had been 2 days since that day, so where did she walk to . Police finally got info and she was traced to this mental hospital 3 hours away. Her mom called me and warned me to prepare because she was saying hurtful things, and yeah, when she called she was still in the middle of her episode..it was really hard and i cant imagine how she fucking felt. What she was going through to make her burst this way..in november we ran into this guy who assaulted her years ago and is the reason she was put in a dangerous situation and has so much trauma (gang related) which triggered this mental breakdown when we left the scene, and the following month, one of her bestfriends passed away..she had ignored this friend so she carried guilt /: then on Christmas she went through my phone and saw a status i had made days before talking about something i did to my exs chapsticks before i had escaped. I thought it was a funny thing to share but alas, i am an idiot. I know I shouldn’t have made such a stupid post about somebody who doesn’t matter. I realized how wrong i was when i saw how much it upset her..i still feel like a moron about it to this day, i know that was so unacceptable.. and then lead the complete breakdown on the 30th..i was just scared all of this was going to happen again so i kept blabbering things, but it’s like im trying too hard to control things and keep them from getting out of hand from before that i almost sound so fucking phoney…and all this lead me to these thoughts that have been brewing about my childhood trauma, like some deep wounded shit. I am such an emotional person but at the same time, im very detached from my emotions. I detach to better handle situations level headed but then i start panicking and get lost in emotions..

This can honestly go on forever, i swear we experience lifetimes with one another.

Man im tired, im gonna type the rest later..it gets even deeper man idk. Idk if ill ever get to write it. I guess i’ll see.

[ganseyonfilm]

i'm actually feeling so 🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴 rn i just . why!

#excuse me for the following tags that are simply gonna be me complaining #but i feel so goddamn alone and it's driving me crazy i feel so upset whenever i'm by myself or not actively talking to someone #like ive mentioned briefly my boyfriend's friend is staying at his for a few days and it's gonna be longer than i thought #and like.... he's such a great friend and i know his friend really needs this break from his own home life so i'm glad my boyfriend is #providing that for him but my boyfriend was like we can still video call if you want #and i was like no really you two should spend some time together i want you to have fun etc. and he was like no it's not a bother #so he called me and then i just sat there in awkward silence for two hours whilst they played games together and stuff #and i dont have a problem with that but dont say it's not a bother and call me if youre not gonna talk to me yk #plus i had a really bad day yesterday so i was just overall not feeling great #and i couldnt even bring myself to speak up and say okay im gonna go now so i just . sat there #and it's so humiliating and embarrassing and i feel so so silly #like the past few days have just really solidified the fact that i'm not anyone's first priority yk #like im never on people's minds nobody checks in #and i go to stay with my boyfriend literally next week for an indefinite amount of time but i dont wanna go if i'll be feeling like this #because he already goes out with his friends enough as it is so i dont wanna get in the way of that #to summarise this just amplifies my issues of feeling like a burden having no friends being nobodies first choice feeling lonely etc. #anyway enough ranting i just needed to explode somewhere for a second bc im sad and lonely lol

[amazingphilza]

twitchcon :: cc!multiple x reader

fluff , platonic , gender neutral ! some mcyt headcanons if you were to attend twitchcon w them

cc’s included in order: tommyinnit , tubbo , ranboo , wilbur soot , philza , technoblade

cw: kinda lengthy for the minors (i think), not as much for the hags LMAO /hj

tommyinnit

this man is so excited to be at his first twitchcon & being able to hang out with all his best friends makes it a hundred times better

when he isn’t at a panel or doing meet & greets, he’s dragging you everywhere to see the whole convention center (clingyinnit)

he is just so at awe despite this not being his first convention to attend

you’d be surprised he gets tired pretty quickly & stops over to the partner lounge

you both rest for a bit against a wall in a pretty packed hallway despite it being an exclusive area to twitch partners

every time a famous streamer walks by he will yell it out and record it then vlog your reaction, even if they’re surrounded with bodyguards & trying to get to another place quickly

he’d zoom in his camera to their face at a horrible angle and be like

“oh my god it is THE ninja. ninja famous fortnite player, HELLO.”

but he gets completely ignored

then the camera pans out to you, still really zoomed in that the capture is blurry

“ninjainnit?”

“EH?”

tommy is so confused, forgetting the bit ninja did on his twitter where he renamed himself ‘ninjainnit’ for a split second

okay tommy isn’t that athletic but he will chase you and the rest of your group down a hallway if he had to

he’d probably find a toy gun from the artist alley/seller booths and shoot you and wilbur with it

but if tommy stumbles across any of the dream team, it’s about to be minecraft manhunt but irl

and he will def play his stream music while walking or smth when he’s bored (or trying to jump dream & sapnap)

** DO DO DO DO MANHUNT MUSIC **

oh my god,, now thinking about it he’s probably the one to open like random doors of empty rooms and steal stuff while you film him

like he will take a random empty glass, a bunch of pens, a freebie t-shirt, everything he sees he takes with him and you’re just panic

“tommy we’re literally not supposed to be here, and i’m stuck here filming you. it’s surely a felony in action”

“well, it’s their fault for leaving the doors open! plus this is great content. who’s the dirty crime boy now, HM?”

you’d tell wilbur about this and he’d scold tommy and threaten him with the same pen tommy stole

tommy probably would also drag you some weird event happening outside twitchcon along with tubbo and ranboo

“pokimane is giving out free pizza to everyone if we go to this one restaurant down the street!”

“we are literally gonna get bombarded. have you forgot you’re like three of twitch’s top streamers? i’d rather pay for all of our meals than try getting free pizza from pokimane against all her other fans”

“DEAL! let’s go to five guys then!”

you unfortunately end up paying for all 3 of their meals and picking on their food instead of buying your own

even with all of them making way more money than you, they still happen to be cheapskates

OR tommy will end up getting a burrito from a taco truck, immediately making a mess of himself, then proceed to complain how messy the food is to eat despite knowing what he was getting himself into before even ordering

“shit my clothes are all ruined now!”

“well that’s your fault you got a burrito, as if it’s your first time having one”

“i mean the food is good, i’m not complaining about that but i don’t think it’s that good that it’s worth costing my red and white shirt, im just saying”

tubbo

same with tommy, he is so excited

i don’t know why but i imagine him overpacking his suitcase and you making fun of him for it

anyway tubbo has his irl backpack on and streaming EVERYTHING

probably spends a lot of time at a bunch of different booths, checking out all the pointless gadgets he could buy for his stream

you’re the one to stop him from doing so

“TUBBO IT’S LITERALLY OVER TEN THOUSAND DOLLARS, STOP. DONT GET IT.”

“WHY NOT?? IT WILL BE COOL FOR MY STREAM AND I WILL USE IT EVERYDAY”

“okay theoretically speaking, how the hell are you going to even bring it home? which—let me remind you—is across the country for you and not to mention the giant ocean separating america and the uk”

“free ship-pang!!!”

“i hate to break it to you tubbo but there is no way you can get free shipping on a FIVE FOOT PC. it’s nearly as tall as you! what are you even gonna do on it, hack the government???”

the arguments are all lighthearted but eventually you give in and let him splurge over a thousand dollars in different devices he claimed he “needed”

i could honestly see him visiting the beaches in san diego and going for a swim or even renting out a boat to use for a bit :D

also he’d bring benson along with him and taking a bunch of scenic photos with it in them

i have a feeling he’s the type to schedule a spontaneous meet & greet because he was bored & gets in trouble for causing a mob in a certain part of the convention

he’s like “oh god, i did not expect this many of the bois to show up AHAHAH oops”

tubbo would def pull a lilypichu and bring his melodica or ukulele and play themes while following random people/cosplayers

at the end of the day, you’d find his bag just stuffed with crap he either got for free or bought in the convention

“how did you get all that stuff? i was with you all day??? and it’s only the first day of the convention, hello?? it looks like you’ve been collecting as if twitchcon has went on for a week already!”

“HA i have my ways, do not underestimate my powers”

lani would probably tag along for the vacation honestly

like whenever someone comes up to her giving her gifts/asking for pics, you and tubbo would tease her about how famous she is

and i dunno but something about tubbo just gives me this amusement park energy and going to legoland and spending the whole day there since it’s near by and because he can

ranboo

he is like a beacon in a sea of people, that’s it .

i honestly just see him causing as much chaos as the other two

ranboo would probably like take someone’s camera whether if they’re streaming or if it’s for the vlog, hold it up high, and point the camera directly above someone’s face

it did not matter how tall you were and if you had platform shoes on, ranboo was a skyscraper next to you

“HAHAH this is how i see you from this height, this is funny”

then he shows you the vid of the recording of him getting like an aerial view of your face

like you see your nose and all your pores and just overall a bad angle to be captured in

“OH GOD RANBOO DELETE THAT, ITS HORRIFIC”

i dunno why but i feel like he’d jump scare every person that was cosplaying as his minecraft character from behind for some reason

“BOO!”

“ranboo i’m not even remotely dressed as your skin—”

“don’t worry i’m practicing it’s fineee”

“you’re like the height of 2 people combined, i think you will be fine as is. you even intimidated the security at the front”

i feel like if he had his own panel he’d like pull up some undertale song in the middle of it and scare all the people in the crowd

“lore but in real life”

probably would get some matching keepsake with you from artist alley/the booths!

i could imagine like a cute keychain or smth :D

i feel like he’s the type to like randomly volunteer as a participant for those mini events in a booth thinking it would be funny but regrets it the moment he’s on stage

after introductions the presenter is like “okay ranboo, you will be given a random meme prompt above your head you won’t be able to see until after and you will have to make a random face to compliment it!”

and you can just tell by his facial expression he’s just thinking

oh god what have i gotten myself into

what is this game? who came up with this idea?

you’d laugh at him the whole time, even after he’s off the stage and finished with that small fiasco

“that was horrible. never again.”

“AHAHAH IT LOOKED SO AWKWARD YOU DID GREAT”

“I CROSSED MY EYES AND PUFFED MY CHEEKS BECAUSE I COULDNT THINK OF ANY OTHER FACIAL EXPRESSION. THE PROMPT ENDING UP BEING ‘WHEN TWITTER CANCELS YOU FOR USING PLASTIC STRAWS.’ AND WHEN I SAW WHAT IT WAS—LITERALLY WHAT KIND OF GAME–”

“I GOT PICTURES AND EVERYTHING ITS PERFECT AHAHAHAH”

wilbur soot

honestly with wilbur it’s slightly more chill

he already experienced twitchcon before so he’s just glad to see his friends again after so long

insists that you explore the convention yourself rather than sticking with him the whole time but you do anyway!

wilbur would probably have like a mini concert and gets you front row seats with the rest of the group

but that doesn’t mean before it that you’re not helping him set up

“y/n please– my amp is so heavy, i can carry it”

“don’t worry! i’m strong” :D

and musically talented or not, he will probably bring you and the rest of his friends up to stage to just vibe and sing a bunch of random acoustic songs

it’s not like some big concert hall stage,, i imagine more like a casual thing w a slightly higher platform from the ground yk?

after spending a long day at the convention he’d also bring everyone across the city to la jolla or smth !

you’d all probably have dinner there and chill, watching the pretty sunset

“this place is really pretty but oh my god im gonna lose my breath hiking up this stupid hill, please slow down”

and wilbur is like ??? because he’s completely fine with his long legs and everything

“just walk faster”

“no, you walk slower”

AHAHAH and for context traversing through la jolla by walking around the town is a bit hard since it’s basically on a bunch of hills (walking up from the beach to a restaurant actually is actually sm work, trust me ive been there)

wilbur honestly doesn’t spend that much time in the actual convention center, he’s probably sightseeing a bit of san diego with you instead

but i could imagine him staying at the tabletop games area playing dnd or smth

“c’mon y/n, come join!”

“uhh i’m not sure, i’m not the best at roleplay and...”

“it’s fine don’t worry!”

he’d pull you in with him and end up enjoying yourself even if it was your first time

and if you’re of age, you’d be wilbur’s +1 at the twitch partner party and make sure mans doesn’t too drunk

if it’s not too late in the night, you two would chill at the beach after the party

it’s just a nice, calming moment after all the loud music mixed with hundreds of conversations at the party

also something about like taking polaroids pictures with wilbur just seems to go hand in hand for me

i’m not sure why but you will be taking lots of pics with wilbur for sure (not necessarily you both in the photo, but of sceneries as well while you’re together!)

philza

literally a dad on vacation with his children, it doesn’t matter how old you are

need sunscreen? surprisingly has it

want a snack? probably has a small granola bar somewhere in his bag

but same with wilbur, he’s more chill like this isn’t his first time at twitchcon

omg he’d def bring you to the artist alley and just buy a bunch of fanart and stuff tho

“oh wow look phil, someone made a giant poster of the dream smp and shit!”

“holy shit that’s so good what the fuck!”

and he’s like rushing to that artist’s stall to buy a poster or print

idk why but phil seems like the person to know where he’s going all over the convention center

he probably had a copy of the directory map but yk

you just have trouble reading it bc all the signs seem to be misleading to you

nothing really crazy screams out to me of what phil would do at twitchcon besides like go to a few events, spend a bunch of time w his friends, etc

HOWEVER i could see him wasting a lot of his time at the gaming area and testing new games that are currently on the works of being developed

like “woah y/n, this vr game is sick, you should try it out!”

ngl i feel like phil would plan a visit to disneyland for everyone, like he gets the tickets and everything but once you’re at the park it’s free reign, y’all go everywhere with not much of a plan

the minors would try to cheap out phil and pay less than the others even though everyone else fully paid phil back and everything LMAO

ok but if he’s feeling nice, phil will buy everyone cotton candy/pretzels :D

and if you’re not hungry, he’d at least get you a mickey balloon

HE WILL HAVE MATCHING MICKEY EARS WITH MUMZA YES .

ALSO STAYING FOR THE FIREWORKS THOUGH OMG

just in general, best idea phil had for taking everyone to disneyland :D

technoblade

surprisingly techno is really calm despite this being like one of his first conventions

but when he finally settles in and gets comfortable, he’s showing the same energy

if you’re playfully yelling, he will yell back

however there’s still those awkward moments that are unavoidable

idk why but something about him makes me think that if you feel tired and want to go back to your hotel room, he’d go with you just to make sure you get there safe

he probably also needs a break from being around everyone else for a moment too LMAO

i could also see him searching far and wide in the artist alley for fanart of himself AHAHAH

walking around with him in the convention consists of someone yelling “BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD” every 5 minutes but you don’t really mind

something about him makes me think he’ll be forced into playing minecraft twitch rivals along with the rest of sbi or smth

and he’s like “oh god, i’m going to be on stage? and people will see my face while i play minecraft?”

“i’m sure it will be fun!”

“i mean i like being competitive and feeding my ego, but i’m not that desperate.. well”

do i imagine techno getting easily tired of being surrounded by a bunch of people and just going back to his hotel room with phil and watching some anime with him? yes

and will you watch even if you have no idea what’s going on? also yes

i feel like after a while of you guys hanging out in techno’s room, the rest of the gang will just slowly join you guys

like eventually everyone is there; you, techno, phil, wilbur, niki, tommy, tubbo, ranboo, etc

and techno is like “wha– where did you guys come from?” because his room is basically packed

and niki could be like “oh we can go if you want!”

then techno just insists that she’s fine “but who let the child get in?” clearly implying tommy’s presence

“OI!!”

eventually techno gives in with the company and someone gets a bunch of board games to play from the front desk

lots of yelling and laughing for sure

when it becomes late at night, techno is like half conscious, you’re on your phone, wilbur is staring out the window & enjoying the night view, tommy is passed out on the couch from tiredness, tubbo & ranboo is still wide awake quietly talking, and phil & niki are helping clean up the giant mess

eventually everyone brings themselves to go back to their own room except tommy who won’t budge

you give techno a look and he immediately understands what you were thinking

he rushes to the bathroom to fill up two cups with ice cold water and handed one to you

“on three?”

“okay.. one”

“two”

“three!”

then both of you pour the water on the poor child’s face

he jolts awake and saying a string of curses

“what the fuck techno? y/n too?”

“get out” is the only think techno says that before tommy rushes out with his stuff and you leave right after

a/n: i honestly can’t wait until conventions open up again though,, phil and ranboo were talking about vidcon earlier and omg.

also i kinda want to take in tommy requests but i’m not sure??? it would be both cc! and c! x gn!reader for sure tho. i love writing him to bits but who knows, maybe i’ll only stick to my ideas,, or not. send in a tommy x reader request, might do it, might not, but he’s my fav cc if you can’t tell so! :D (i dunno if i will keep it strictly platonic, but unrequited crushes and stuff are fun to write hehe,,)

edit: let’s hope i fixed all the grammar mistakes LMAO we love writing late at night :) /s /hj

#tommyinnit #tubbo #ranboo #wilbur soot #technoblade #philza #dream smp #sbi #dsmp #mcyt #dream smp imagines #dream smp x reader #dream smp x you #dream smp x y/n #dream smp headcannon #sbi imagine #sbi x reader #sbi headcanons #mcyt imagine #mcyt x reader #mcyt x you #mcyt x y/n #mcyt headcanons

[meltwonu]

| 🍒 CH-CH-CHERRY BOMB! 🍒 |     [CHAPTER 12]

pairing; dom!seungcheol x camgirl!reader

this chapter’s notes; camshow, sex toys, overstimulation, tiniest mentions of daddy!kink, a lil bit of a filler chapter!, this is the most btsvt chapter that it’ll ever get so i’m sorry if you dont like that!! 😭😭, a bit of a lighthearted chapter too tbh to ease everyone back into cherry bomb! 💕 I know its been like two fuckin weeks since the last update which is honestly insane to me! I almost couldnt remember where we even left off lmao kdjfhds 😩💕💕 Thank you for being so patient with me and waiting it out while we had two weeks of Monster Mash! Starting Monday, I’m gonna be going back to my normal posting schedule! 💕 have a great rest of the weekend, yall! 🍒 

chapters; 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10 - 11 - 12 - ?

“Wait, seriously? You want to work here? But--but I thought you were from out of town?”

Jun’s eyes light up with excitement; fingertips crushing the resume you passed to him moments prior. “Um, well, there was a change of plans… and I’d really like to work somewhere where I have a friend! If you guys are still hiring, that is...” You reply back meekly.

It’d taken you all morning to write up a resume, blushing a little when you realize most of your income had been from camming. It’d also made you pause for a moment when you realized that it meant Jun would also know your real name too; as well as everyone who came through the diner and all of your coworkers.

“Yeah, of course! I, um, just give me a second to pass this to my manager, okay? I’ll be sure to put in a good word!” Jun shoots you a wink before he turns to leave.

You take the opportunity to sit down at a nearby booth, fishing for your phone to text Seungcheol.

‘I think I might be getting the job!!’

cheollie ✨: oh? Not that I doubted you, but is it confirmed already?

‘Mm… Jun is trying to put in a word for me! But I’m confident!’

cheollie ✨: thats my baby ;)

You hear someone call your name hesitantly, only to find Jun standing a few feet away looking at you sheepishly. “Um, sorry, your name’s on the resume so I figured…”

“Oh! Yeah, it’s fine!” You awkwardly giggle. “I figured writing ‘Cherry’ as my name wouldn’t be too smart when you need to cross-reference my ID if I get the job.” Jun laughs as he takes the seat across from you in the booth, papers in hand.

“Well, I convinced my manager to let me interview you. Told him that if we’d be workin’ together that I’d want to scope you out for myself! He bought it, can you believe it!?” Grinning, he sets your crumpled resume down next to a small stack of papers. “I don’t doubt you’d pull your weight around here but I do have to ask… Why here of all places? I thought your, uh, other job was enough? Or I guess I assumed...” You bite your lip, flip-flopping on whether or not you wanted to let him know exactly what happened that led to your sudden decision.

“Um… There were just some big life changes I had to make on the fly and I’ll be living around here now! I’m trying out some new things… I also figured if I worked with you, then you’d know my schedule the best too! And you seem like a really nice and cool guy.”

Jun nods, smiling back at you.

“You got that right!”

“You’re seriously going to start working there?” Jeongguk raises a brow, cables in hand as he sets up the extra PC in his streaming room. “And the guy working there knows you? That doesn’t bother you?”

Seungcheol laughs under his breath, “Yeah and he knows me now too. And knows I’d kick his ass if he tried anything.” You pout from your place in the expensive gaming chair; eyes focused on Jeongguk who shimmies under the desk to start plugging in the cables.

“Well, yeah he does know me, but he’s also one of my regulars and knows the schedules I’ll need, so I think we can trust him!” They both nod and Seungcheol is quick to cross the small room until he’s right behind you.

“He seems like a nice guy though, I don’t think we have to worry.”

Jeongguk slides out from underneath the desk, dusting off his pants as he stands. “And if he does end up being a weirdo, there’s always a place for you at the roller rink!”

Seungcheol rolls his eyes, hands gripping onto the backrest of the chair.

“No.”

“Hey guys, welcome back to Golden Closet Gaming! I’m JK, your regular host! Today, we have a suuuper special guest! Why don’t you introduce yourself, pretty lady~”

You take a deep breath as you lean in close to the mic; somewhat nervous and a little out of your usual element. “Hi everyone~ I’m Cherry! Some of you may know me from, um, the other side of the streaming-sphere but I’m joining my friend today in hopes of boosting our channels together and having a ‘lil bit of fun!!”

Seungcheol sits at the side as he watches the two of you; a small smile painted on his lips at the way the two of you seem to fall into your characters easily despite the somewhat different platforms and influx of different viewers.

The sound of donations and comments pour in a lot quicker than Jeongguk, himself, is used to; eyes wide and eyebrows raised as he pauses to watch them flood the screen.

sleepy_wonu has donated $100

xcaliburDK has donated $100

sleepy_wonu: never thought i’d be donating here but here we are

xcaliburDK: i was always a silent watcher but u kno i had to donate for my favorite girl!

seokGENIE: i feel like i’m entitled to something for taking your shift so i wont be donating, sorry pretty girl

j__min: can’t believe this kid got a collab with you before i did :(

j__min has donated $200

dtsug__a: i dont normally watch streams either but im curious

Jeongguk laughs, still in disbelief as the donations continue to pour in from a combination of your viewers and his. He always made a decent amount from his viewers but he couldn’t deny the pull you had from your viewers as well. “Wow, um okay, my donations are adding up a lot quicker than they usually do. That’s… Hey, whaddya say to streaming with me regularly?” He jokes. 

A shy laugh bubbles up your throat; ears and cheeks burning hot at the idea. You had never collabed with any other streamer before and despite your initial hesitance and unsureness, you too, were shocked to find how well the two of you were doing without your usual content.

“Erm, I’m not very good at gaming though… I don’t think your viewers would like it very much...”

seokGENIE: thats ok jk sucks at gaming too, it wouldnt be too different

j__min: lmao fkjdhf

dtsug__a: does he get roasted often on this channel? If so i’ll be tuning in more often

dtsug__a has donated $100

dtsug__a: for your troubles, pretty gal

“On second thought, let’s let this be a special occasion, huh? Maybe collabs for the holiday, Cherry?” Jeongguk grumbles and Seungcheol has to bite his lip to keep in his laughs from his side of the small room. You start to feel more and more comfortable at the lighthearted atmosphere; tucking a stray hair behind your ear before you lean in towards the mic again.

“Ah! Speaking of, don’t forget to tune into my camshow tomorrow~! JK and I will be gaming on there as well but… with some added fun to match my channel~! 21 and over only~” You blink at the computer screen, still a little unused to the idea that you weren’t technically being filmed. Although, it was a nice change for once; not needing to be all done up for a show and simply just talking to your viewers and reading comments.

sleepy_wonu: is dom daddy gonna be on the show too?

“Dom daddy? Oh you mean Se---”

“Yes! Kind of!” You cut off, laughing nervously. Nobody knew Seungcheol’s name except for Jun and you were trying to keep as much of him private as possible, until he was ready. “In a sense, he’ll be there! You guys will just have to tune in to find out!”

Jeongguk laughs into his own mic, scooting in closer to his desk as he loads up the game.

“I think that’s enough chatting for now, huh? Let’s get started! Tonight we’ll be playing Phasmophobia! We’ll be playing something more lighthearted on Cherry’s channel, as she requested. So tonight we’ll be playing something I picked out. You ready, baby?”

Seungcheol narrows his eyes, quietly taking a sip of his water.

“Ready when you are!”

“I gotta say, sweetheart, for someone who doesn’t play video games too often, you’re not too bad.” Seungcheol comments, nodding his head in amazement as the three of you exit Jeongguk’s PC room. He’d had a hard time keeping in his laughs as he watched from the side and he had to admit, you were even cuter when you were outside of your usual element.

“I have to agree with hyung, but maybe it was also the adrenaline and screaming that kept you goin’.”

The two males share a laugh as you pout and plop down onto Jeongguk’s living room sofa. “Hey, how were the numbers for tonight, by the way?” You ask quietly.

“Honestly? I think we made almost triple of what my channel usually sees. I know I don’t really make a ton off of my streams since I don’t really do anything, like, crazy but shit… Even I’m shocked at how much we made.”

Seungcheol’s lip ease into a smirk; Jeongguk really had no idea how much the two of you had made off of a couple videos alone.

“We still have one more stream to do and then we can just pool up the money and split it down the middle!”  

Jeongguk nods, stretching as he sits himself down onto the other end of the sofa. “I’ll bring my spare PC stuff so we can set up a little early tomorrow, if that’s cool with you two? Maybe have some food before we get started too ‘cause god knows I’m gonna be starving.” You look to Seungcheol who nods and checks his phone for the time.

“Yeah, we need to set up the cameras and lighting a little differently too so we’ll probably start earlier. Just text me before you drive over so we know when to expect you.”

You yawn next to Jeongguk; adrenaline having worn off as the tiredness finally sets in. “It’s so weird, usually I’m only just starting my stream right around this time but I’m so exhausted now...” Seungcheol’s eyes from cute crescents as he smiles down at you, stepping closer as he goes in to smooth down your hair.

“You really were screaming a lot, to be fair. How about we head home and you can sleep in the car?”

“Okay~”

Seungcheol lets you sleep in on Saturday morning, watching as your chest rises and falls with soft breaths.

He takes a moment to think over the last few weeks of his life and he can’t help the disbelieving expression that crosses his features when he realizes just how much had changed over the course of just weeks.

When the two of you had met, he wasn’t expecting much. He expected the two of you to hang out for a few days before you went home and forgot he even existed outside of your camshows and the comments section. But now that so much had happened between the two of you, Seungcheol felt a deeper connection to you and felt the need to protect you even moreso than ever.

He sees you shift slightly, sleepy eyes blinking open as you peer up at him. “Good morning, sweetheart.”

“Mm… g’morning ‘cheol…”

You grimace sleepily at how hoarse your voice sounds, “Ew, I sound so… gross.”

Seungcheol moves to get out of bed, leaning in to kiss your forehead before he shuffles towards the bathroom. “I’m going to wash up but you can stay in bed if you like. I’ll make you some tea for your throat, okay? We have a long day ahead of us and I don’t think you wanna sound like that later tonight.”

Nodding sleepily, you lay back down as you yawn and let the sleep take over once again.

“Are you really sure ‘bout this?” Jeongguk takes a bite of his pizza as he watches Seungcheol pull the desk closer to the bed.

“What do you mean?” You ask; readjusting the light that was closest to the younger male. “Like, I dunno, I’ve never been on a cam show like this so… I mean do I have to do anything different?” You laugh lightly as you go in to pat Jeongguk on the shoulder.

“No, just be you. And we went over it already earlier, the only thing that’s different is going to be me! No weird tricks or anything, I promise.”

Seungcheol places another monitor on the tabletop, grunting as he goes. “Yeah, and in all honesty, I would hate to have to watch you get off, ‘Guk.”

“Oh shut up, hyung. You say that like I don’t know what you’re packin’ under those sweats. I think it’d only be fair! Just two bros getting to know each other.” Seungcheol pretends to gag just as you double over in laughter. “No, absolutely not, ‘Guk. And also, nobody told you to watch those videos!”

Jeongguk pauses, lips pressing into a firm line. “You right, you right…”

You leave to get changed just as Jeongguk starts to help Seungcheol set up the last few bits of equipment. He leans in close to the older male, eyes glancing around the space to make sure you were completely out of earshot. “Hey, hyung, honest question.”

“Sure.”

“Are you really okay with all this?” Confusion crosses Seungcheol’s features as he raises an eyebrow at the younger male. “What’s ‘this’ exactly, ‘Guk?”

“Y’know, her living here and you camming all of a sudden, among everything else really… And the question if you’re in love with her which, by the way, we still all know that you are.”

A blush coats Seungcheol’s skin, fingertips almost losing grip of the camera he was about to mount to the desktop. “Listen, yes, okay, I do… like her a lot. But she’s going through a lot right now too and I don’t want to freak her out either. There’s a lot of life changes we’re going through so I’m just going to ...wait.”

“You’re a good man, hyung.”

“Hi everyone!”

You wave to the camera, winking and blowing a kiss to the camera propped up between the two monitors on the table. “I know, this setup is a little wild and not my normal but this is part two of my collaboration with Golden Closet Gaming! Do you want to introduce yourself to those who missed our other stream?” You turn to Jeongguk who nods; this time a little nervous as he stares directly into the camera.

He’d said he was okay with being filmed since he wasn’t actually part of any sexual acts, but he still found himself a little camerashy now that the two of you were live.

Seungcheol sat directly behind the monitors and cameras; his phone open to your cam show to watch from a different angle.

“Ah, hello! I’m JK of Golden Closet Gaming! I’m a friend of Cherry’s and no we won’t be fuckin’.” Jeongguk ends with an innocent smile that has you holding back your laughter.

therealchan99: i dont think dom.cheol would like that very much anyway

universe_WZ has donated $100

universe_WZ: unless he’s into watching

dom.cheol: no

alphagyu97: oh shit hes back

angelhan: huh, so hes not there?

“Oh, he is! He’s behind the camera~” You gesture beyond the camera to where Seungcheol sits and he leans over to quickly wave upside down in front of the camera to prove his existence.

j__min: ah, of course~ we know your daddy would never let you play with anyone else~

j__min: he likes you too much ;)

emerald.tae: oh? also hi new watcher!!!

emerald.tae: ur videos were great!!

emerald.tae has donated $200

therealchan99: im gonna need to start fighting ppl for ur attention i swear

gentleman_josh95: implying u had it

chwenon: yooooooo lmao

“You guuuuys, be nice! Just for that, I’m gonna be sending you a special private pic, okay ‘therealchan99’? You guys pick on him too much!” You pout.

therealchan99: hahaahhAHhhahaHAAHAA FUCKIN LOSERS SUCK ON THAT

tangerine_kwan: bruh

chwenon: damn guess we should can it

You respond to a few more comments as Jeongguk sits by and watches the way you interact with your viewers. He also takes note that you had a donation minimum before you started actually doing anything on your channel and that you’d already hit it pretty quickly.

“Okay! I think we should start now, huh? Oh, I should explain what’s going on!” You giggle cutely, settling into your space on the bed. “So JK and I will be playing this stilt man game! We have to get our character to the finish line without falling or the level restarts! JK has to get to level 30 and I have to get to level 20 and whoever reaches their goal first, wins!”

“I have a higher level to reach ‘cause our skillsets are different and we all know I’d smoke her if we both had to reach the same level.” Jeongguk grins.

seokGENIE: sure

seokGENIE has donated $69

sleepy_wonu has donated $100

hoshi_tiger_xx has donated $100

“And the reason why ‘dom.cheol’ is behind the camera is because...” You pause, eyes twinkling with playfulness as you stare directly into the lens. “In order to get me to do my best, he’ll be controlling a special toy I’m wearing~ Hehe, if my character falls, he’ll raise the vibration setting each time as punishment and leave it on until I cum…”

“Which we are assuming will be a lot. Unfortunately, no medic on standby.” Jeongguk jokes. Seungcheol rolls his eyes as he laughs from behind the camera.

“We have a safeword, don’t we, sweetheart?” You nod in response, “Mmhmm!”

“Let’s get it!”

It takes all of four stages before your character falls for the first time.

Seungcheol turns the vibrating panties on and you immediately jolt as you try to keep your character upright on screen. “Oh, f-fuck!”

kitty_junjun: uh ohhhh it begins

artist8hao: i don’t think she’s gonna last.. babygirl is so sensitive, she’ll probably cum soon

xcaliburDK: i’m giving it until level 6 before she cums

emerald.tae: oh are we placing bets

“Noooo~ Don’t place bets on me, I’m weak!” You whine; already squirming as the vibrations attack your clit. Seungcheol grins from in front of you as Jeongguk laughs from your side, already on level 7 on his own screen.

You had to admit, it was a little weird for someone else to be in the room with you while Seungcheol basically used a toy on you, but the younger male seemed to not care about it at all. Although, he had already seen most of you and Seungcheol at this point.

Your fingertips are shaky on the keyboard and computer mouse; already fearing the way Seungcheol’s eyes almost become darker the longer you struggle.

“What’s wrong, sweetheart? Is the game too hard?”

“A-ah, n--no, it’s not that b-bad…” Squirming, you grind down a little harder onto the bed just as your character falls on screen and Seungcheol raises the setting to the second highest in the blink of an eye. “Ngh, fuh---fuck!”

“Uh oh~ Should I slow down to let you catch up?” Jeongguk teases.

“N-no, I can beat y-you!”

The donations and comments pour in as you struggle to keep your calm and get your character to the finish line; letting out a sigh of relief as you finally enter the fifth level. You let out a choked sob as you already feel your panties starting to stick to you like a second skin from how wet you were getting and Seungcheol can’t help but chuckle.

“You know, you’re technically allowed to cum whenever you want. It’ll just… slow you down, is all.” Grinning, he watches as you look beyond the camera towards him as you pout.

“But I--I wanna win!” You cry; palms clammy as you try to rush through the fifth stage, only for your character to fall almost immediately. “Nooo~”

Seungcheol clicks the vibrator to its highest setting and your body goes rigid as the vibrations wreck your body. You start to grind against the toy as you chase your orgasm and forget about the game almost completely. In a perfect world, Seungcheol would have his cock snug between your walls, but instead you clench around emptiness as you crave his cock.

artist8hao: ah shes already cumming lol

seokGENIE: on level 5? Fuck

universe_WZ: her cute lil cunt cant take it, poor babygirl

seokGENIE has donated $50

emerald.tae has donated $75

alphagyu97: cum baby, u kno u wanna

alphagyu97 has donated $75

A small choked whine is all you can manage before you do cum; eyes clamped shut and fingers wrapped tight around the computer mouse as the waves of pleasure crash down onto your body. Donations and comments flood the side of the screen from a combination of your viewers and Jeongguk’s as they watch your face contort in pleasure.

“Ah, sweetheart, you’re really falling behind~ JK is going through the stages so quickly while you’re sitting there cumming~” Seungcheol teases. He licks his lips, simultaneously wishing you were sitting on his cock while you played your game.

That’d have to be for another time, he thinks.

It takes a second for Seungcheol to turn the toy off and your body immediately slumps forward as you catch your breath. “Ngh, d-damn it…” You grimace when you re-adjust yourself and find your panties soaking wet.

“I’m already on level 17, babe. You gotta catch up!”

You can only groan in response, flexing your clammy fingers before you try to focus on your own screen again.

kitty_junjun: oho looks like our princess is focused now

tangerine_kwan: u got this baby

j__min: show ‘em who’s boss, babygirl

You tune out the sounds of the comments and donations as you manage to get yourself to level eight without falling, but level nine proves to be just a little too hard as your character falls and Seungcheol turns the vibrator back on to its lowest setting again.

“Be careful, baby. Wouldn’t want to fall behind again would you?”

Seungcheol feels his cock throbbing in his sweats as he watches you bite your lip. And for the first time all night, he wishes that Jeongguk would just win and go home so that he could have his own private time with you.

“I’m on level 22 already. D’you think she can even catch up?” Jeongguk teases. He spares you a side glance, taking in your form slumped closer to the table as you try to fight the vibrations.

Your body was already extremely sensitive from your first orgasm and you quickly losing your confidence as you struggled to keep your character upright. If you came even just one more time, there was no way that you’d be able to beat Jeongguk with how quickly he was going through the stages.

therealchan99: she’s cumming just as quickly as JK is getting thru the stages hfdsf

gentleman_josh95: shes so cute when she cums tho

angelhan has donated $50

angelhan: thats the real prize angel

“T-thank you…” You whimper out, fingertips twitching against the keyboard and mouse as you focus your attention to the game to the best of your ability. 

You manage to get to level ten with no more issues just as Jeongguk gets to level 25 and you let out an exasperated sigh as your character falls over again. “Uh oh~ I think I’m gonna win!” Jeongguk cheers; giddiness washing over him as he works to get to the end. 

“Nooo~ That’s n-not, ah, fair!” Whining, you grip the mouse tighter as Seungcheol raises the setting on the toy again, watching as you rub your thighs together at the feeling. 

hoshi_tiger_xx: sadly nothings fair in the gaming world babe

hoshi_tiger_xx has donated $50

dtsug__a has donated $50

dtsug__a: cute for thinkin so tho 

“I don’t th--think I can, hah, c-catch up...” You moan. Your character on screen falls over one more time and all you hear is Seungcheol’s small ‘tsk’ under his breath as he sets the vibrator to the highest setting and leaves it there. 

It doesn’t take long before the vibrations prove to be too much for you and you let go of the keyboard and computer mouse as your hands ball up into fists on top of the table. 

The pleasure washes over you in sharp pin pricks; small whines and whimpers falling from your lips as your eyes completely clamp shut. 

Jeongguk lets out a surprised noise at the way the donations and comments almost make the screen lag and for the first time, his character on screen falls over at his split second loss of focus. 

“Ah, fuh--fuck!” You start to squirm once the pleasure starts to bleed into overstimulation and Seungcheol is quick to respond, “You’re gonna cum one more time as punishment for giving up, sweetheart.” 

alphagyu97: ooo she's in troubleeee

gentleman_josh95: ahhh daddy still has to punish you after all 

seokGENIE: damn is this what this channels abt? this is hot 

artist8hao: babygirl always misbehaves

chwenon: she seems to like it too much 😏

dtsug__a: hooooo shit, thats hot 

“It’s n-not my f-fault, hah, JK is j-just good at g-gaming...” You mumble. 

Jeongguk manages to get to level 30 within the time you sit and grind against the toy; small noises of excitement falling from his lips as he cheers for himself!

“Aww, poor baby. Maybe you’ll focus a bit better next time, hmm?” 

You nod frantically as a small tear slips down your cheek and your lips part in a breathy moan. “God, I--I’m c--cumming!” 

Your body locks up, ears ringing as you cum one more time. Seungcheol wishes he could work you through it; hands massaging your skin as you take your pleasure or thrusting his cock into you as he chased his high with you. 

Instead he watches from across you as your body twitches as your face contorts in unadulterated bliss, licking his lips the entire time with images of what could’ve been dancing behind his eyelids. 

Jeongguk watches as the donations far surpass what the two of you made on his channel; brows disappearing into his poofy head of hair. “Wow, uh, y’all seem to really like it when she gets punished, huh?” He mutters under his breath. 

“Don’t you?” Seungcheol teases. 

“Truuuuue.” 

A garbled moan has both of their attention on you as you try to shy away from the toy still vibrating against your overly sensitive clit. “Ah, ‘m too sen--sensitive now...” You cry. 

Seungcheol turns the toy off completely as your chest heaves in deep breaths; pouting at the fact he wasn’t able to enter the camera frame to take care of you. 

Jeongguk grimaces slightly at the way your body sways in tiredness next to him, unsure of what to do next now that he’d won. 

“Haha, um, medic?” 

#cherrybomb!cheol #seungcheol smut #scoups smut #seventeen smut #svt smut #scoups scenarios #scoups imagines #seungcheol imagines #seungcheol scenarios #seventeen scenarios #svt scenarios #seventeen imagines #svt imagines #svt fic #seventeen fic #scoups #seungcheol

[tomdiddlyumptious]

Hey! If your uncomfortable please ignore this ask, but i was wondering if you could write something similar to malcome & marie? Thank you! Happy belated birthday!

Thank you baby! I actually thought about this ask for a bit. As a community we do NOT support or want anything like that in our lives, okay?

But if you as a reader would be uncomfortable with reading this then do not.

this will be kinda very similar to the plot of malcome & marie sooo....

Pairings: Film creator!tom x used to be sex worker!reader

WE SUPPORT SEX WORKERS. YOU ARE GOLDEN😩🙌🏽

Summary: after a celebration its time for the downfall

Warnings: argueing, slut shamming, smut mentions. Drinking, smoking. Not proof read. TOXIC- suicide mention.

I hopw this is just as confusing as it was in the actual movie, cuz yeah. Pls dont be shy to say something about it. And tbh if it isnt that good to you i dont blame you, its currently 11:16 and i should be asleep.

You and tom walked in, a wide smile on his face as he danced around and shut the front door behind him. “Baby i did it!”

A faint smile played on your lips as you walked to the kitchen “yes you did, tom. You hungry?” You asked, opening the fridge as he went to go get a bottle of remy and two glasses, the rings shinning bright on his finger. “Yeah, can i have uh-“ he thought, stopping in his tracks and jerking his head as he couldnt think of anything.

“How about pancakes?” He randomly said and you chuckled “pancakes? Really?” “Of course! A sweet treat for a very sweet day” he walked up to the kitchen placing the glasses and the remy down.

You laughed again before taking out the pan, he also got to work by getting out the mix and the water while you got everything else. A cigarette in your mouth as tom helped light it while you mixed up the powder with the water.

“I never knew i could make it so far” he muttered, grabbing the remy and pouring it into the glass, tilting his head back and letting out a small moan from the sting in his throat. “You did a good job”

“Ya know, everyone is so judgemental, like i could walk around with my shoes untied and somebody would fucking give me a glare- or even what you call it. a stank eye” you nodded at his words letting him know you were listening, “but when i made that fucking movie i had all these women just- i cant even explain it” he shrugged, walking around the house with the glass in his hand, a wide smile on his face while you sighed and puffed out the smoke, the sizzle from the mix going on the buttered pan audible before he speaked again.

“They just kept on telling me how fucking talented i am, how i get women so fucking well. I mean goddamn im such a fucking genius” he edged on, cocky as he stomped his feet at his words,’ such, a, fucking, genius’

“Yes you are tommy” you looked down and seen the mix bubbling, taking the spatula and flipping the pancake, shifting and leaning on your right leg as your dominant hand sat on your hip, the other holding onto the cig.

“But it’s confusing. Any other time they would probably fucking- what do you call it” he snapped his fingers before taking a sip. “Aha! Fucking cancel me!” He pointed at the ceiling. “Why would they do that tommy” you lifted your eyebrow, “youre only writing a good story” you sighed, looking at the plates and rubbing a mark that was left on them.

“People now days do it just because....just because their bored- or even because they dont like them- BUT-“ he lifted his finger towards you “they have no reason to”

“Mhm, you should wait for the reviews” you took the cigarette and put it in the ash tray, taking the fire out before putting the pancake on the plate.

“They have to be good! I can make fucking millions off of this” he smiled, quickly walking over before chugging his drink.

“Yes...yes you can” “and then we could buy a fucking island, a boat and even a horse!” He laughed, amazed and he set down the glass before coming behind you, pressing kisses to your neck as he watched you put the batter on the pan again.

“What makes you want a horse?” “What makes you think about reviews?” And with that you shrugged “just because a few reporters and new york news writers like it doesnt mean that everyone will”

“Why are you being so negative? Goddamn you bring the worst out of everything y/n” he let you go, and you looked at him, giving him the famous eyes.

“The worst? How about you go fuck yourself” you said, aggressively grabbing the spatula to flip the pancake. “Go fuck myself? Whats your problem”

You stayed silent, wondering if you should just go outside and smoke another cigarette or hear him bitch and moan. “Y/n you have a problem every other fucking day. I try to talk to you but you dont. You rather talk shit and let it marinate” he rested his hands on his hips and starred at you while you bit your lip and put the pancake on the plate, grabbing the syrup you put the right amount for him before aggressively walking to the table and slamming it down.

Your heels clanking against the floor as you made your way to the bathroom. Leaving tom by his self as he let out a harsh sigh and rubbed his chin, thinking about what he should do before finally grabbing a fork to eat his breakfast.

“You know. You do the same shit every night- you curse me out then the next hour you wanna suck my dick or something” you starred at yourself in the mirror, biting the side of your cheek before you took of the heels, then coming back out.

“How dare you, thomas” you said harshly, walking back to him and watching him eat the pancakes. “How about you be fucking mature and stop eating”

“No. I dont wanna fight” he shrugged, cutting the pancakes fancy before he placed them in his mouth. “Your such a fucking bitch” your eyes squinted as you leaned forward.

His eyebrows raised and he cleared his throat “a bitch?” He let out a loud laugh, tilting his head before coming back “i think we both know whos the bitch here”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” “Oh you know exactly what im talking about” and with that your jaw basically droppped to the floor “why are you suprised?”

“Have you ever thought-“ you caught your words before repeating them “im the reason why youre gonna get millions, if i was never there for you. If you were never in my life youd still be in that house that you hated so fucking much” you walked closer.

“Trust me baby you were apart of it, but you sure as hell werent the main character” “then please-please tell me who else was doing sex for money?” You asked, and he didn’t answer, instead continued to eat the pancakes.

That made you more aggressive, quickly walking to the table and snatching the plate. “How dare you have to nerve to talk shit about me while you eat what i made you”

“Fuck you y/n” “no fuck you!” He dropped the fork, his face becoming a shade of red. “Im the reason why youre in this fucking house right now, im the reason why you have that fucking ring on your finger” you said, then put your fingers on your ring.

“Dont you fucking dare take off that 50,000 thousand ring y/n” “why shouldnt i?” “Because you love me dont you, darling?” that made you soften up a bit, taking your fingers off the ring as he smiled, telling you to come over. He sat you on his lap, taking the cigarette out of his jacket that youre wearing, grabbing the lighter from his pocket.

You put the cigarette in your mouth and he repeated the same action, lighting it for you. “I love you y/n”

“Mhm” you smiled, taking out the cigarette to press your lips on his and he rubbing your hips, the passion over the tension in the room. “Oh well i thought the movie was shit, i uh- couldnt help but think thats not how it ends” you teased with an old grandma accent and he laughed.

“Yeah i did to, how does man get with a prostitute and marry them” he teased back making you both laugh. “The movie felt so real, it reminded me of my friend miranda” you playfully said with a more younger high pitched voice.

And it went back and forth, laughs leaving both of your lips until he pushed the buttons “man she really was a thot” your eyebrows furrowed as he laughed to his self. “Man he really was desperate for a blow job” you said in your serious voice “man i wonder why he hooked up with such a thot”

“I didnt mean it like that-“ “fuck you” you got off his lap and walked back to the bathroom. “Here you go again y/n!” He shouted, and you turned back around.

“Your so fucking selfish” “we werent even talking about that-“ “no fuck you. All you do is say i-i-i” you yelled, words strong. He stood up agitated “you know what you wanna argue, lets argue”

“You gave up on me” “if i gave up on you why would i marry you” “our love was strong in the beginning and then you just-became you” you looked at him up and down.

“That was because i was in love with your body” he smiled “really? Why didnt you just leave me on the fucking street!” You yelled again, “because I thought you deserved better, maybe you should still be in that fucking old apartment with fucking big ass rats running through it, men twice your age fucking your loose ass whole”

“FUCK YOU” you shouted pointing at him “maybe i shouldve used that sloopy mouth of yours to stay on my dick so you could stay shutting up” “NO FUCK YOU THOMAS” and with that you walked away, into the room this time before tom followed behind you.

“Please leave me the fuck alone before i flip out on you, please just leave” “no”

“You know what. I feel like once you feel like you gave everything they wanted and more you expect them to stay with your sorry ass” “oh im not sorry. And thats not true” he shrugged, standing infront of the door as you sat on the bed. “Im so embarrassed to call you my husband” you shook your head.

“Why shouldnt i be embarrassed to call you my wife?” He shrugged again, leaning against the door looking at you. “If it werent for me you wouldn’t be as happy as you are now” “what makes you think im happy y/n! Im really not” “and you think i am?!” You looked up at him, getting up and walking to him but he continued to back up, until you both were in the open hallway with a table in the middle of it.

“I was never happy in the first place” you said, eyes starting to tear up. “Dont give me fucking alligators-“ “do you know how embarrassing it is for someone to tell you to get your own fucking ride home because you wanna fuck someone else?” You asked, your voice changed as you wiped under your eye, smuding the makeup.

“I had to ask Harrison to give me a ride home. I was scared tom” you sighed, shoulders becoming slump. “What if i ran into somebody i fucked? And they forced me to have sex with them again or else theyd report me to the police?” You asked, breaking down and falling to the floor while tom watched, guilt and shame all ocer his face as he leaned against the table.

“I watched you with my two own eyes make out with someone then the next day you asked me to ride you. But you wanna slut shame me for being broke and needing to survive, that broke me so much. And i did it” you choked “i gave consent everytime, brusied my knees from getting on them for you. Just to make you happy. I let you get full of yourself and now its all about you” you whispered and he came down to you, holding you and pressing kisses on your hair while you broke down more, hiding away from him. “You let me stay out there on Christmas day” a frown met on his lips, thinking back on the day and how you were probably reallty cold, he knew you couldnt stand it.

“And i gave consent to getting married to you, your such a hoe” he couldnt help but chuckle “no seriously your a hoe to feeds for attention” you made eye contact with him, and then you both broke into laughs, sniffels leaving your lips causally but easily ignored knowing you feel slightly better.

And with that you both beard his phone ding, well multiple dings. You told him to answer it, check it. And it was a review, he stood up and helped you up, walking to the livingroom before going over to grab the glasses and remy, pouring it in both cups you both took one.

“Alright, this is from whats her name....janice!” He said, sitting on the couch and you sat between his legs in the floor, sipping the drink. “Overall the movie was great. But there was a few things that werent right in my opinion-“

With that his eyebrows furrowed, you played with the carpet as you waited for him to continue, he leaned forward with his elbow on his knee using his thumb to scroll. “I couldnt understand why the character had all these strange things about her, why the sex scenes were that necessary”

“Ding ding ding”

“Shut up y/n you arent helping- i don’t understand how jhon and candy got along and became freinds if they continue to have intercourse. What the fuck are you talking about? Bla bla bla” he muttered, skimming through it “how candy and ron got along? Shouldnt they be together of they clicked so well?”

A small laugh left your lips “me and Harrison? That wouldnt be so bad”

“How in the world did they get married? Honestly the whole relationship is toxic, but i see it as they were to late to give it up, they were already in a too tight knot. Thats not true we are madly in love with each other” he jerked his head at the phone.

“Ms janice does have a point” you cleared your throat a bit. “Y/n please. Ms janice has no fucking idea what shes talking about jhon and candy are in love with each other and they have problems sometimes....well most but oh well its not to late either one of them couldve got up and go”

“Not if one loved more then the other and it was to late to go, janice is right tom” you crossed your arms.

“Do you wanna-“ “no tom i dont. Just speaking my opinion, coming from a woman your being pretty harsh about it” “well it wasnt really about candy-“

“That doesnt make any sense, shes the main fucking character” you looked at him. “It was more on how jhon viewd candy” “then why was candy always in camera”

“Because...” he shrugged. “Your so dumb” you got up and sat far away from him on the couch, he eyed you in confusion “isnt that fucking movie based off of my life. Like im some type of experiment and you solved made something out of it” you dozed off, swirling the remy in your glass. “Im not feeding into this” he ignored you, until you got up and barked at him, which he looked at you as if you were crazy before doing it back “fucking prick!” You stomped off out of the livingroom and went outside.

“Fuckin-“ he couldnt come up with anything before he let out something random “fuckin mood swinger-“ you finally took the time to take off your makeup and dress, muttering words about him “thats why he stinks, smellin like a gorrila- asshole- man whore” you took a bath too, you didnt feel your best at the moment.

Tom on the other hand just took off his shoes and aggressively stomped on the pillows, throwing a tantrum and jumping on the couch and punching air, kicking it until he accidentally fell.

By time you were dont he thought about it “harsh?” He questioned and walked into the room, finding you reading a book on the bed with the night light on and a cigarette in your mouth.

“Y/n?” “Yes thomas?” You looked up at him “harsh?” He asked and you tilted your head at him “i wasnt being harsh about it” “mhm” you shut your book and set it on te night stand, he undressed until he was in his underwear and climbed into bed with tou.

“How was i being harsh about it” you sighed and rested the cigarette in the ashtray, not putting it out just yet. “You arent really aware of others feelings tommy” you said simply. “What does that mean?” He asked, crossing his arms and sitting up next to you, both backs against the headboard and he looked at you.

“It meas i loved you more then you loved me” his eyebrows furrowed at the statement “that cant be true” “tom it is. You didnt say it but you did. You only wanted me for my body. My love and soul came later and i was to blind to notice. That was my bad”

“Loved?” He questioned. “I think i started to love you less and got on a even level with you, then we built together” you shrugged, crossed a leg over your other one and crossing your arms to. He let out a small laugh, “you know i never understood why jhon died in the end and why candy committed suicide” you said and his heart sunk a bit low.

He cleared his throat before saying something “i know you’re afraid of losing me, y/n. I never told you this but ive read your journal” he nodded his head and you bit your lip, knowing every single letter you wrote and how much it sucked thinking back about those days.

“I know how much you loved me but hated me. But something really grabbed my heart. ‘I want to keep tom, hes like my soulmate. My hearts gotton closer by every minute and moment ive been with him. Even though i feel like ive been burned by some of the things hes done, id forever love him. Losing him would be like losing me entirely’”

“I still don’t understand” you mutter, silently wondering how he knew word by word. “I took advantage of that. Because when i was done reading it i knew it was true, it is true. I couldnt feel it in my heart, thats why i picked you up and took care of you. I noticed you really care for me and ive done nothing but asked you to suck me off, i thought i was making both of us happy by giving you what you needed, or wanted. I became so happy when we got closer, you told me about your new apartment and i was so excited, but it wasn’t because of me entirely. I wanted you to myself. I needed you to myself and you needed it too. So if you lost me you would lose everything, give up on love.” Everything he said was true, it wasnt what you wanted to hear but he needed you to hear the truth.

“So candy gave up on it” he shrugged “she didnt try because there was no need to, she didn’t think anyone else would love her, ‘without tom i have no one else, i know ive done some un speakable thigns with him but i can tell by his eyes and heart that he wants something, he just wont tell me’” he smiled, quoting off of your journal again with a smile on his lips. “Thats why i try every time to keep this relationship strong, go to therapy with you, kiss you and tell you how beautiful you are everyday, cook you breakfast when i know your trying to do something new”

“So youre only doing this because you dont want me to kill myself?” “No y/n. I did it at first but then i opened my eyes and noticed how much i really fucking love you” he uncrossed his arms and reached for your hand. “And i know you love me too, on a even page” you both shared a crooked smile, using your free hand and grabbing the cigarette and putting it to your lips. The time currently 4:30 in the morning as he reached for the cig, your eyebrows furrowed as you let him take it. “Since when do you smoke?”

“Since i had too much of your bullshit” “shut up” you both laughed, slapping his chest as he handed it back, a small laugh leaving his lips. “Im sorry for giving you such a headache” he muttered and you ignored it, putting out the cigarette and turning off the night light, keeping your distance from him you got under the covers and shut your eyes, and he did the same, turning away from you so you are back to back.

A smell of bacon filled your nose when you woke up, a faint smile on your lips as you got up, walking to the kitchen and finding thomas cooking.

“Whats the special occasion?” “I know youre trying something new”

#tom holland x reader #tom holland #tom holland fanfic #tom holland x black!reader #tom holland imagine #tom holland au #tom holland blurb #peter parker #peter parker fluff #tom holland x y/n #tom holland smut

[fiendishpal]

I feel like I come here for Osaaka fix and to find some SWMAGP support group!I think a bunch of people haven’t read it yet because it’s incomplete.I am quite surprised for myself too because it’s incomplete and it’s slow-burn and it makes it more enjoyable?! Idk. I love how Osa/Aka would definitely do what they did.

It’s how they’re both honest people, both characters that are not afraid of being heard but when it comes to going around on what they feel—they’re just not forward about it.

And the characterization is so them even as Volleyball players—we have Akaashi who is a setter that thinks, that would only give what he can or what he was asked for. Then we have Osamu a part of a duo who recklessly play around a very crucial match. That’s how they are on chapter 7, Akaashi goes for rationality, lays down what’s expected of him, and Osamu who just vacuumed his apartment because hey, why would he missed an opportunity of not bringing Akaashi home?!

I went crazy on this but there’s only a few people who actually reads this, I’m glad I can go over this with you even in anon! Thanks and sorry for going crazy! Have great day/night!!!

i love stay with me go places because i can tell how much care the author puts in their characterizations.

like how they refer dialogue from canon material and how akaashi and osamu speak, that really drew me in!

in all their core, they're both supports to their main characters. bokuto couldnt have grown the way he did without akaashi and atsumu couldnt have grown the way he did without osamu.

akaashi and osamu's experiences with their vaguely same experiences in high school is such a huge part of what they have in common. they play as how their counterparts play.

bokuto expects akaashi's 120% bc bokuto gives his 120% and osamu plays recklessy because atsumu plays recklessly so he has to be there where atsumu is bc he's not gonna lose against his brother.

they're supports. narrative foils to the big picture.

these experiences are things they can relate to with each other, that sort of thing.

so with that in mind, it would makes sense that they'd end up waiting on each other. volleying the ball from their side of the court to the other so it ends up with them dancing around each other.

but i've said this once and i'll say it again, if osamu and akaashi did not have any mutual friends or friends of friends, osamu would be much more forward but again that's just me

SO, they now know their feelings are mutual, they've already reached that point but now at match point, they suddenly dont see things eye to eye.

and as you said anon, in his good ol' fashioned akaashi way, he overthinks. and his "rational" conclusion is to not start the relationship to avoid the eventual fallout bc of the distance. i love the line he said, i think it was, we dont need anymore people to wait for in our lives or something like that????? idk but it was good

and with osamu, his answer to that is, why not try it out first? WHICH MAKES SENSE AKAASHI YOU FOOL. he presents his case on "why end it before even starting it?" which to osamu's line of thinking makes the most sense to him BC HE'S RIGHT, AKAASHI YOU DESERVE EACH OTHER LET HIM BEAT SOME SENSE INTO YOUR OVERTHINKING and when akaashi's "firm" on his decision he backs away. he's not pushy, that's atsumu's forte lmao

but what i love in this chapter was the kiss they had there. when osamu asked if he could kiss akaashi. i mean he wanted one from the very start of their "date" and he's gonna get one even tho it was a sad one cries and when akaashi kissed him, osamu ended it before it could get into something more bc he knooooows that would be it. if the kiss grew any deeper. if their lips touched a second longer he'd be FAR gone AT LEAST THAT'S WHAT I THINK HAHAHA. so he steps back. getting on akaashi's level.

AND I AM AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

to those who haven't read it yet bc it's incomplete, look, i GET IT, i dont even know why I started it with the fic being inc BUT IM GLAD I DID!!!!!!!!!!!!

I FEEL MANY EMOTIONS WHILE READING IT IT'S GREAT LOOK AT THIS WALL OF TEXT I AM OBSESSED WITH THEM BC OF THIS FIC

ps. these are all my thoughts on overdrive and this is how I perceive them. you might see them differently and that's a-okay!

#how they were raised greatly affects how they express their emotions so we have straight forward and thinks out loud osamu #and akaashi overthinking his responses before he picks the best one for a particular situation #both different in how they express themselves but how they apply it is almost the same #wherein they think of the other person and their well-being bc well #that's how i see them handle situations with their counterparts #MAN LOOK AT THIS #AND I HAVENT EVEN GONE FULL ON META YET LMAO #i might be way off too i need to refer to the manga again #but yep this is how i see them and why i love them so much #fiend talks #anonymous #stay with me go places support group where ya'll at #let's think fluffy osaaka thoughts #long post

[negandarylsatisfaction]

[SUMMARY: John Winchester gets possessed by a demon making him seduce Dean's girlfriend.]

SMUT

John and Jenna.

Dean had invited you for a weekend work trip with his brother and father. Not really knowing exactly what they did you wanted to go along to spend more time with your boyfriend, it felt like he never had time for you. You had met John a few months back and saw him on and off whenever you'd visit Dean. He seemed like a nice man although he didnt speak much to you.

Arriving at the motel, you and Dean got your separate room while Sam and John stayed together. Helping you and Dean bring the bags into the room, John walked in behind the both of you.

"Thanks dad, I needed to bring some extra things for this trip with what we're dealing with." You over heard Dean tell his father before passing you a bag.

"Just put this in the top cabinet," Dean uttered before heading back out to the car.

"Crap," you struggled on your tip toes to push the heavy bag in the top cabinet as it kept popping back out.

"I got it," suddenly you felt John behind you, pushing the bag in place.

"Oh-" You whispered feeling him press himself against your backside. Turning to him, you weren't sure if he had purposely done that or if it was an innocent mistake.

"Sorry, sweetheart," John looked down at you in a way he never had. It was almost the same look Dean had when he first met you. The look of attraction, the look a man has when he sees a woman he cant help but picture in the most unspoken of ways. Clearing his throat he looked away having truly not meant to let his body get close to yours. Apart of you didnt mind it, you did find Dean's father attractive after all they did look alike.

"Its okay." Nervously you laughed it off as you awkwardly walked towards the rest of the bags. John's eyes followed before the sound of Dean entering the room again made him quickly look away.

"Dad, you're gonna help me over here?" Sam appeared at the doorway looking for John making him remember he had things to look over.

"Yeah. Of course." John walked out leaving you and Dean to yourself.

The next day Sam and Dean planned to go together to investigate a lake close by while John decided to stay behind and finish going over some of his research. Staying in your room, you read a book you bought along with you knowing Dean would be busy with work most of the time. John sat at the desk in his room, his eyes growing tired going through books of research when he decided to take a break. Leaning back on the chair his eyes closed, drifting into a deep sleep. As he slept, a line of dark black smoke creeped into the room and found it's way into John unexpectedly. Instantly shooting his eyes open, John revealed bright golden eyes.

Laying in bed reading your book you suddenly heard the door getting unlocked. Looking up thinking it was Dean you were surprised to see his father stepping inside.

"Mr.Winchester?" You whispered confused as he closed the door behind him, something seemed off with him.

"I got a spare key, I thought Dean returned already." You frowned as you stood up closing your book, his eyes falling to your legs as you had completely forgotten you were only wearing Dean's shirt not expecting anyone to come inside but him.

"Oh-" you looked down at your legs embarrased not noticing just how much John liked what he saw. His eyes for a split second turning a golden shade before you looked back up. You caught his tongue slowly slide over his lip.

"I should change-"

"Dean left you alone here?"

"Y-yeah," John began to shake his head with half a smile as he slowly stepped closer to you.

"Now why the hell would he do that?"

"He went to work, Mr.Winchester."

"Work huh? He should work on giving you more attention."

"What?" You responded confused with his words, never had he spoken to you this way before. He continued to get closer to you as he spoke, you swore you had never seen this look on John's face before. A look of hunger, his eyes even looked darker than usual as he spoke.

"Come on, dont you think he should be more attentive to you?" John smiled in a sneaky manner as he stared down at you. Truth be told, you did wish Dean payed more attention to you, you did wish he was more available to you.

"I...I-"

"I've watched how he is with you," John interrupted.

"I mean I don't know....if I knew my woman was waiting for me the way you look right now, I'd rush right on home." You felt his eyes travel down your body then back up until they met your eyes again. You couldnt believe what he was saying, the way he was looking at you.

"See, if you were mine..things would be very different," John stepped closer making you back against a wall. Your eyes widened in shock at everything that poured out of him.

"Mr.Winchester...what are you doing..?" You whispered.

"Oh, dont tell me you havent caught me looking at you since I met you-" he responded feeling a rush inside him.

"I'm-Im happy with Dean."

"Are you?" He whispered in a husky voice, it's like he could see right through you.

"So if I were to gently brush my hand over your thigh-" he did just that as he stared directly into your eyes.

"You wouldnt like it?" You gasped.

"Please..this isnt right.." You whispered making him smile, he could tell you liked it but didnt want to admit it.

"You're telling me this doesnt turn you on?" His hand now reached in between your thighs feeling the warmth making him moan low.

"But Dean-"

"Shh..." John lifted a finger to your lips as he began to feel you on top of your underwear. You moaned with a sigh of relief closing your eyes as you felt his hand gently grab the side of your neck. John didnt stop moving his fingers in a circular motion against you, you didnt find the strength in you to stop him.

"You like that?" He whispered as you opened your eyes before he leaned in and aggressively kissed you. Submitting to him you took his kiss and let him do as he pleased. His hand still caressing the side of your neck as he bit down on your bottom lip. Your hands ran up his chest before he roughly snapped off the buttons of his flannel shirt. He stepped back slowly unbuttoning his pants and revealed his hardness to you.

"Mr.Winch-"

"John, baby. Call me John."

You bit your lip as he sat back on a chair and motioned for you to get on top of him. Not being able to hold yourself back you walked towards him as he quickly pulled your underwear down and roughly put you on top of him. Instantly you felt him enter you and you began to ride him. The two of you moaned simultaneously as you rode him hard, you had never felt anything like him before. A part of you couldnt believe what you were doing but another part of you didnt want to stop. John pulled your shirt up and pulled your body close to him, sucking on your breasts as you continued to move.

"Oh yeah, Jenna.." John groaned before grabbing your face and kissing you hard as he grinded your hips on him.

"Turn around," John spoke breathlessly as you quickly stood up and did as he asked slowly lowering yourself back down onto him.

"Oh yes.." you whispered.

"Feel better than Dean doesnt it?" He spoke hoarsely and spanked your ass hard making you scream.

"Oh, John..." you moaned as he grabbed you by the waist hard, screaming in pleasure you didnt realize what was happening behind you. In the middle of riding him, the demon was released from John's body. John suddenly realized what the hell he was doing and froze under you. The sensation so intense he almost came in that moment realizing what he was doing. His hands still tightly on your hips as you continued to bounce on him he let out a deep breath.

"Like that?" You moaned looking back at him making him let out a gruff noise as he saw your face.

"Jenna-" he panted as you rode him hard, he couldnt believe what he was doing but you felt so damn good. He couldnt stop you and he couldnt stop himself. You noticed his moans grow deeper before suddenly feeling him stand up and push you face down on the bed. John lost complete control of himself as he thrusted into you.

"I'm sorry-I cant stop-" he grunted low as he continued to drive himself into you. You couldnt understand what he was saying and only felt him move faster.

"John! John!" You screamed with how aggressively he moved your body, holding your arms behind your back, but you loved how it felt.

"Oh my god.." he groaned deeply before pulling out and gasping loudly as he unloaded himself on your ass.

"Wow," you whispered as he stepped away out of breath and you slowly pushed yourself up. Just as you turned to face him he turned away from you. You frowned as he remained quiet fixing himself up, getting dressed.

"John?" You whispered as he leaned his hand on the table lost in his thoughts.

"Are you okay?" You asked making him turn to you and look down at your body.

"Get dressed," he looked away still out of breath, he couldnt take seeing your body bare in front of him.

"What's wrong-"

"That wasnt me," he whispered roughly.

"What?" You let out a chuckle in disbelief.

"Something took over me-" he repeated although he knew you'd have no idea what he meant.

"But I couldnt stop myself after...I didnt wanna stop...Jesus Christ, Jenna..I've wanted you for a while." You stood in silence staring at him, still in shock with what just happened. You had no idea from the moment John met you he was attracted to you.

"John-"

"Please dont say my god damn name like that, I'll take you again before Dean comes." He blurt out and you had to admit he sounded very sexy saying it in his deep voice. But suddenly you remembered Dean and looked away.

"What is it?" He walked towards you with a frown.

"What do you mean what is it? What about Dean..what's he going to think-"

"We dont tell him a damn thing, Jenna." He looked down at you in a very serious manner.

"Leave with me," he suddenly blurt out making your eyes widen.

"I beg your pardon?"

"Leave with me now, we'll go anywhere I just...I need to feel you again tonight and I wont allow Dean to have you again."

"John..." you whispered feeling confused yet aroused with his dominating words.

"Jenna, please." John had no idea what came over him, all he knew was that he couldnt ignore how badly he wanted you.

"I know you want more of me, you're just afraid to admit it. How do you think it's going to be staying around him? You think I'll be able to keep my hands off you, sweetheart?"

"I just-"

"You think I wont try to be inside you every chance I get?" Your eyes practically rolled back at his words, you wanted him just as much as he wanted you.

"Let's go, Jenna. Pack your shit and let's go before he comes."

Without saying a word you gave in and ran around the room collecting your belongings in your backpack. John took hold of your stuff leading you to his truck. Without second guessing anything or looking back, you got in the car and let John drive you away..

#jeffrey dean morgan #john winchester x reader #supernatural fanfiction #dean winchester #john winchester x you #john winchester #spn fanfiction #spn fanfic

[dripkingpetey]

love-e.pettersson

ive been working on this for a few days and im kinda proud of it! would love some feedback from you or requests for other story lines, i promise i’ll stop doing the friends to lovers storylines haha. i also accidentally deleted this and i was so sacred i couldnt get it back but here it is! i hope you enjoy.

*lowercase intended!*

2.2k words

he loves you, you know that right?

“why did you drag me here, i really don’t like hockey and you know that.” you said as you sighed to your bestfriend lucie while she pulls you down to your seats in rogers arena. 

“i know you don’t.” lucie said with a bright smile on her face. “but, you’re gonna learn to like it.” you look at her in confusion. “so, this is your way of torturing me as if you don’t already torture me enough by bringing me to parties.” you said while sitting down and looking at the players who are starting to get on the ice. “maybe.” lucie said with a wide grin and a mischievous look on her face before puck drop starts.

you’ve never been big on hockey, which is surprising considering you have lived in vancouver your whole life and your family is super big hockey fans. you also aren't the most extroverted person. sure, you’d go out to bars sometimes but mostly just with your close friends.

“what part of this sport do you even like?” you said as the game is going into the third period the canucks are now up 4-1 against the opposing team which you don’t even really know who they are. “well, if I’m being honest some of them are really hot but mostly cause of the sport.” you scoffed at her response. “none of them are hot from where i can see.” lucie looked at you with a shocked look. “oh you’ll get it once you get to know the players more.” you give her a confused look and put your full attention back to the game.

-

canucks ended up winning the game 5-2, lucie was very happy about it and you could tell cause she wanted to go out for a couple drinks and you didn’t want to say no so you agreed to go.

you had been at the bar for about twenty minutes and lucie was already gone which isn’t surprising, she was probably sleeping with some guy right now.

you started to panic a little when a creepy old dude came up to you and started hitting on you. “hey pretty girl, want to come home with me?” he started putting his hand on your arm which was resting on the table. you look around for lucie in panic but she’s no where to be found. 

you then feel a pair of arms sneak around your waist and you get even more freaked out. 

“hey babe, sorry i was gone for so long.” elias says to you with a smile but then proceeds to give the creepy dude the alien death stare which worked. after the dude leaves elias faces you and starts speaking. “sorry i touched you like that, it looked like you were alone and that guy was creeping you out so i thought you could use some help.” he shoots an apologetic smile at you. 

“its okay,” you give him a smile back. “thank you a lot actually, i have no idea where my friend went.” you take another look around the bar before looking back and him. 

“i’m elias by the way.” he smiles at you while holding his hand out for you to shake it. “y/n.” you say before shaking his hand. 

“so elias, what are you doing in this bar on a thursday night?” you gesture for him to sit down next to you. “if i told you, you wouldn’t believe me.” elias lets out a soft laugh while sitting down across from you. “tell me, i wanna know.” elias sighs lightly before he starts speaking again. “i’m with them,” he gestures over to brock, jake, quinn, thatcher and troy. you look over to see them all waving at you and laughing at elias, you laugh softly and wave back at the before turning your attention back to elias. “ah, so i’m guessing you’re on the canucks?”

elias lets out a nervous laugh. “yeah, why don’t we go somewhere else where the boys aren’t up my ass?” you take another sip out of your drink. “i would love to.” he holds out his hand for you and as you guys walk out you can hear the guys chirping, but when you look over to elias you can see him giving the death stare to the boys and it makes you laugh. “you have a scary death stare jeez.” elias leads you to his car. “that’s surprisingly what the fans love me for.” he smiles at you before opening the car 

door for you.

-

“…and that’s all what led me to being on the canucks.” elias said to you while eating a chip out of the chip bowl you had prepared. it had been a couple hours since you guys left the bar and went back to your apartment, you don’t know why but it felt like you and elias had such a strong bond already that you both felt like you can talk for hours and hours and never get tired of each other, he felt the same way too. “jeez, i kinda sound like a douche. i’ve been talking about myself all night, please tell me more about you.” elias said to you while you laughed at his words. 

“it’s all good, i’ve been the one asking questions anyways.” you smiled while responding to him. “no seriously, tell me something about you before i have to go which i really don’t want to by the way.” 

you look at the time and realize its almost twelve am so you proceed to give him a quick response. “well, i’ve lived in vancouver my whole life. and i’m currently going to ubc as a nursing student.” you smiled at his now very amused face. 

“see, that’s something i wouldn’t have known if you didn’t say it,” he laughs a little before he finishes his sentence. “can i get your number? i have practice early tomorrow morning but i’m free for the rest of the day if you want to hang out.” 

you smile at his words and take his phone from him. “of course you can, i’m free tomorrow too just give me a call.” you said while handing his phone back to him after you’ve entered your number. elias gives you a wide grin and you both get up so you could walk him to the door. “goodnight elias.” you look up at him with a smile as he’s standing in the doorway. “goodnight y/n, sweet dreams.” he said and then started to walk down the hallway towards the elevator. “pettersson!” you called out at him and he turns around confused. “text me when you get home.” he gives you the thumbs up and you close your door and head to bed. 

no ones ever shown this much attention to elias before, at least no one he’s truly cared about. 

he smiled to himself on his drive home cause he was excited to text you again.

*contact name changed to “y/n<3”* 

text message to y/n<3:i just got home, thank you for the awesome night :).

-

it’s been a couple weeks since you and elias had met at the bar, you basically hung out with each other anytime you could. 

you were each others best friends at this point, sure the guys would make fun of elias for being in love with you but you couldn’t see it, elias knows he has some feelings for you but he wasn’t sure about it yet. he also didn’t want to risk the amazing friendship you guys had started.

“hey, are you coming to the game tonight?” elias asked over the phone to you.

you let out a sigh before you start speaking. “i’ll try, schools been really hard lately but i should be able to finish studying tonight.” elias could hear the tiredness in you voice and it hurt him to see you like this. “y/n, its okay. you don’t have to try and make it, focus on school its way important. you have many more games of mine that you can watch.” he left out a soft chuckle at the end of his sentence. 

“i’ll still try though, i’ll give you a text if i can make it.” you said to him as you looked at the last large text book you had to read through and look at the giant pile of coffee cups surrounding your desk. 

“okay, love you, i gotta go.” “love you too e, good luck.” you both quickly exchanged goodbyes as you started reading your last text book. you knew there was no way you were going to be able to make it to his game tonight and you felt really bad, you sighed it off as you put your attention back to studying and occasionally looking at the canucks game that was now playing on your tv.

-

the game had ended, canucks lost by one but petey is a sore loser so obviously he was sad, which made him show up at your apartment, he brought pizza from your favourite place downtown.

you were passed out on the couch though, which resulted in elias having to pull out his spare key and sneaking into your apartment.

“elias?” you mumbled out as you felt him sit next to where you were laying on the couch, he motioned for you to lay you head on his lap and you did.

“hey sleepy girl, i brought our favourite pizza.” he said to you with a smile. no matter how bad of a day elias was having, you could always make him smile.

you positioned your head so you’re now facing up at him and you give him a big smile. “thank you, can we snuggle and watch a movie?” elias starts rubbing your cheek softly. “of course we can y/n.”

the night ended with you and elias falling asleep on the couch together while watching a movie he had picked out, you both forgot about all the stress from today and just enjoyed the moment.

-

“he loves you, you know that right?” brock said to you as he came by and sat next to you.

it was the start of summer, tanev decided to host a little barbecue for the whole team before everyone left vancouver and went back to their home towns for the summer.

you were sitting in the backyard watching elias talk to huggy. “what?” you said to brock with confusion. “no he doesn’t.”

brock scoffed at your response. “dude, you can’t be serious. how do you not see it.”

you thought about what brock said for awhile before you gave him a response. “does he talk about me?” you looked at brock while taking a sip of your drink. 

“does he talk about you? of course he fucking does y/n, all the time. especially when you don’t show up to our games, it’s worse when we’re on the road.” 

you smile to yourself at what brock said.

-

you were quite tipsy by the end of the night and elias didn’t want to let you go home alone, so you spent the night at his place.

“elias?” you said in your sweet drunken tone as you both settled into his bed, and you faced your body in his direction. 

“yes?” he said while playing with your hair softly. 

“brock said something to me earlier,” you said while pulling your body close to his.

 “of course he did,” he said with a sigh. “what’d he say this time?” 

“apparently you talk about me a lot?” you said with a soft laugh and your fingers now tracing up and down his back.

“yeah, yeah i do. i talk shit about you all the time.” he says sarcastically knowing where this conversation was going.

“hey!” you said as you playfully punched him. “i was going to do something but i guess not anymore.” you said with a huff.

he lifts your chin up to face him. before you knew it you guys were kissing each other, it was a soft, long and sweet kiss.

elias pulled away with a big grin on his face and you did too. you talked to each other for the rest of the night, you ended up falling asleep before elias did but he did too shortly after.

you woke up to the smell of elias making waffles, you hugged him from behind and he didn’t even notice you were awake until you did that.

“it smells really good,” you said to elias before kissing his cheek and begging for him to hug you. 

he pulls you into his grip and whispers in your ear. “do you wanna go to sweden with me for the summer?”

you look up at him with slight shock. “yeah, why not.” you said to him with a smile and he gets very excited and spins you around, you kiss for awhile until you smell something burning and you pull away.

“shit.” elias mumbles as he deals with the burnt waffles and you’re both laughing your asses off.

#elias pettersson #elias pettersson x reader #elias pettersson imagine #petey #pettersson #nhl canucks #vancouver canucks #canucks hockey #canucks #vancouver canucks x reader #nhl #nhl imagine #nhl hockey

[flobro]

Extra Practice

Eren Jaeger x Reader

o m o r a s h i

2nd Person PoV 

Eren pulled your hand along as you trailed behind him, the sound of twigs and leaves snapping under your feet.

It was currently eleven pm and you were making your way towards the training area with your best friend, Eren. You two had been close your whole lives so obviously he had come to you with his problem first, even before Armin and Mikasa.

‘So tell me Eren,’ You asked him, ‘Why exactly are we going to train anyway?’

‘I still cant balance properly with my omni-directional mobility gear. I spoke a big game and then embarrassed myself in front of everyone,’ Eren huffed, ‘I cant let that happen again!’

You knew how stubborn and driven he was so you didnt even try to tell him to calm down. In fact, seeing him so engaged with his tasks usually pushed you to try harder too so you were quite thankful for it really.

Once you reached the training area, Eren was immediately prepared to begin.

‘Okay Y/n! Can you help attach me please?’ He asked me, already begining to clip one of the straps onto the training equipment.

‘Yeah, sure!’ I nodded and helped him get all of his leather straps connected.

It took at least ten minuets to get Eren fully ready and secured into the practice.

Erens PoV

I stood in the training gear and Y/n stood at the side, holding a rope which would hoist me in the air.

‘Are you ready?’ She asked me, preparing to pull the rope.

I double checked my gear when i felt a dull ache in my bladder. Of course i had forgotten to go to the bathroom before we left the cabins.

*Damn!* I thought to myself, *Well im not gonna be able to go now. I can hold it.*

I looked over at Y/n and nodded, completely ignoring my bladder, ‘Im ready!’

She smiled at me and nodded, yanking the rope and i felt my feet lift off the ground in a jolting and sudden movement.

The gear around my waist tightened as i hung in the air, pressing down on my bladder firmly. I gasped as i felt a short spurt of urine leave me.

I was about to grab my crotch to help stop the flow but i remembered that Y/n was there and I didnt want to embarass myself infront of her so instead i just squeezed my legs together really tightly and prayed.

Luckily, i managed to stop the stream after a few seconds so only my underwear was damp and nothing was actually visible on my trousers.

Y/n raised an eyebrow at me, ‘You okay?’

I nodded, ‘Y-yeah im alright! Lets just keep going.’

I ignored my need to pee as i tried my very hardest to stay upright on the omni-directional mobility gear. Each time i would tip the wrong way, my body would immediately tense, trying my best not to wet myself.

After about half an hour had passed, i found myself becoming extremely desperate and i could barely focus on the gear anymore.

‘Y-Y/n i think i s-should get out now.’ I said, urgency evident in my voice.

She looked at me with a concerned expression, ‘Are you alright!?’

I nodded, ‘Yeah im just a b-bit tired.’

She grabbed the rope and tried to lower me down but nothing happened.

‘Hmm i think the rope is stuck Eren.’ She said and my hesrt sank.

‘W-what!? I n-need to get out!’ I said, panicking as my palms began to sweat.

She yanked on the rope more but it continued to stay stuck, ‘Are you sure youre alright?’

My face reddened, ‘I r-really need to p-pee!’

Another wave of desperation came over me and i didnt even try to hide it as i crammed my hands between my legs, gasping as i felt more urine leave me. Once again i managed to cut it off after about ten seconds. My hands felt slightly damp and i knew i had leaked through my trousers a bit.

‘P-please hurry i... I CANT HOLD MUCH LONGER!’ I yelped as my bladder twinged uncomfortably.

She nodded and ran over to me, ‘Theres no way i can get the rope to lower you but if i remove your gear you can slip out of it.’

She pulled on one of the buckles and her fingers slightly pressed against my lower abdomen, adding more pressure onto my bladder.

My legs shook at the amount of effort i was putting into keeping them pressed together. My eyes were squinted shut and my teeth were clenched together.

I was so focused on keeping myself from leaking that i didnt even realise that my bladder was slowly letting go until i heard Y/n gasp and slight pattering on the ground below me.

Y/n stepped away from me and i looked down in horror to see my trousers darkening as the wet patch grew accross my thighs and down my legs.

The relief felt almost orgasmic as i tilted my head back, moaning at the strong sensation. Tears pricked the corners of my eyes, embarassment filling my whole body.

The whole area was silent appart from the sound of piss dripping onto the floor and quiet hissing. Y/n was completely silent and i couldnt bring myself to speak, only panting slightly.

After about two minutes i was finally completely empty. The full impact of embarrassment kicked in and my face blew up in a bright red colour and i was lost for words. Right on time, the rope keeping me in the air came unstuck and i fell into the puddle i had made below me, the front of my trousers becoming even more soaked in piss.

Y/n walked up to me and gently held my arms and helped me stand up. I couldnt make eye contact with her.

‘Dont be embarrassed Eren. Its only human.’ She said softly.

‘I... Im so s-sorry.’ I said, ashame laced through my voice.

She pulled me into a hug, the piss on the front of my trousers rubbing onto her legs slightly. Somehow she remained completely unbothered by this.

‘Dont say sorry,’ She told me, pulling out of the hug.

I nodded, ‘Promise you wont tell anyone about this?’

She giggled, ‘I swear on my life.’

~~~~~~~~~~

hiya !

ive had this idea for ages but only just got round to writing it so i hope you enjoyed it hahaha !!

#animeomo #fictomo #omorashi #pee #omorat #omofanfic #eren #eren jeager x reader #eren jaeger #eren omo #eren omorashi #aot #attack on titan #attack on titan omo #attack on titan omorashi #aot omo #aot omorashi

[chloasiajones]

This is my next smau. It's a Harry Potter smau. Neville X F.!Reader pairing. There's a bit of Fred X F.!Reader pairing in here. There's also Neville X Fred X F.!Reader. Title:A Muggle's Love Story

Trigger warning: Slight swearing! Mentions of sex! Will be mentions of rape! Slight abuse! If you are sensitive to these things read at your own risk!

Y/n was a muggle brought into the world of magic, at a very young age. She didn't know how to handle it. And with her older sister, her guardian being the only one who could take care of her, it proved to be difficult for her with her sister being the Defense Against The Dark Arts professor, and her having to live in the world of magic. She feels a little left out, seeing as both her sisters, her older and her younger, - her twin - are wizards and she is not. But that all disappears when she meets the one person who helped her realize not everything is about that. And it's not all its cracked up to be. Neville was there for her since she was young and they became the best of friends. However, as they got older they realized their feelings were more for each other than they even orginally thought. But what happens when Neville finally has the courage and another man tries to swoop in and take him from her?

Special Edition Series Finale Two-Parter Part 21

This is the end of my Harry Potter smau. I hope you guys enjoyed this story and will stick around for the next one. Thanks for reading❤

Adelina's P.O.V.

I couldn't believe my eyes as I held this letter from mother in my hand. I've always been close to Albus, and I've always looked at him as my father. But I could've never imagined him being my actual father.

"Hey Lina, we're almost finished, what do you say we all go out for pizza together, before me and Jami officially leave," Y/n suggested to me.

I barely paid attention as I intently stared.

"Adelina, are you okay?" Y/n asked as she started to walk over to me.

"I can't believe this," I spoke out not taking my eyes off the letter.

"Can't believe what?" She asked beyond confused.

She stood next to me looking at the letter.

"Its a letter for me from mom - She told me who my real father is," I responded still in disbelief.

Y/n didnt say anything as she looked at Jami. I dont think she knew what to say. I took in a soft breath as I stared at Albus's name on the page.

"What does the letter say sis?" Y/n asked me curiously concerned.

I couldn't read it out loud, do to being so shocked still.

"Here,-" I handed her the letter, "You can read it out loud if you'd like," I told her.

She nodded to me. As she began I could feel more tears coming to my eyes. I crossed my arms over my stomach, gently biting on my thumbnail. Jami walked closer to me.

"Oh Adelina," Y/n spoke softly as she gave the letter back to me.

"Um, why don't you guys go ahead and go out to get pizza, I've got something, important I need to take care of," I told them.

Y/n was quiet for a minute. She rested her hand on my shoulder.

"Okay, we'll see you later, - Come on guys," Y/n spoke softly as she walked over to Neville.

I stayed quiet as Jami followed. I will do what my mother asked of me.

. . .

I knocked on Albus's office door.

"Come in,"

I gently opened the door, closing it as I walked in.

"Ah, Adelina, its nice to see your out and about after what happened, -"

A soft smile passed me.

"How are you feeling?" Albus asked me in a caring soft tone.

"Im feeling better, - Albus there's something I need to speak with you about," I told him nervously.

"Of course dear, what is it?"

"How much do you remember of my mother?"

He was quiet for a minute. A soft smile passed him as he thought.

"Yes, I remember your mother, Iris, she was a wonderful student. We helped each other a lot, -"

"Were you friends?"

"Oh yes, we were great friends,"

"Did you love her?"

He went silent for a moment as he looked at me. I could tell he wanted to hesitate, but he didnt want to hide anything from me.

"Adelina, why are you asking me these questions?"

"I found this, -"

I pulled out the letter from my mother, unfolding it.

"Its a letter from my mom written to me. Its hard to explain, here,"

I gave him the letter. He took it without saying a word, reading it to himself. I could tell he was surprised as he read it. I dont think he knew what to say.

"Yes, my dear, I loved your mother very dearly, but she fell in love with another man. I didnt want to let on to her how much it pained me to see her love another. All I wanted was what was best for her. And I had to come to terms with myself that wasnt me. I had to move on. I never found another love. After your mother I couldnt bring myself to try, -"

"Im sorry,"

"I understand her reason for not telling me she was pregnant. But I wish now that she had. I could have taken you and your daughter and your sisters in after your mother died. I always hoped I could have a part of her after she died, but I never had it. Though I always felt a stronger connection when I stood next to you, I know now that is because your my daughter, -"

Without thinking I quickly wrapped my arms around him holding him close to me. He wrapped his around me softly, giving me a soft gentle kiss to the top of my head.

"Im sorry I wasnt there for you Adelina,"

"It isnt your fault, you didnt know,"

"I have always looked at you as my own, but to find out that your my daughter makes it better,"

"I love you - Dad,"

"I love you too sweetheart,"

I leaned away from him with a smile. I motioned to the seats as I wiped the tears from my eyes. We sat down together discussing my mother. He made us a couple cups of tea with magic as we talked. I've always felt a strong connection with him. I always thought it was because of how caring he was. Now I know the real reason.

. . .

Y/n's P.O.V.

I sighed as I stood next to Adelina in her home.

"Well, Boo, this is it, are you ready?" Adelina asked me with a teasing smile glancing at Neville and back at me.

I nodded, "Yes, - Im ready for this," I told her.

Her smile grew as she hugged me.

"Im so proud of you hon, - Never forget that,"

I smiled, "I won't,"

She leaned back looking directly at Neville.

"You better be good to her Neville,"

"Don't worry Adelina, I'll never let anything happen to her again," Neville promised.

"You better not," Adelina warned.

A nervous smile passed him. Luna walked over to me wrapping me in a tight hug.

"I'm gonna miss you Y/n," she said to me.

"I'll miss you too, but dont worry I'll still be around, and I'll keep your mom at bay with Zacharias," I told Luna.

"Good luck with that," Adelina said to me.

A chuckle left me and Luna. I walked over to Jami, who was standing next to Colby. We just stared at each other for a moment.

"Im gonna miss you so much!" We exclaimed as we threw our arms around each other.

We held each other as tightly as we could.

"You guys are literally going to be right across the hall from the other, you'll be able to see each other whenever you want," Colby practically complained.

"We're twins you wouldnt understand. We've never been apart, pretty much in our entire lives. This will be the first time we aren't sharing a room together or greeting each other in the morning, or seeing each other right before we go to bed," Jami told him.

"But its not like you're going to be moving across town away from one another. You'll literally be right across the hall," Colby told her.

Jami said nothing for a moment as she looked at him.

"Shut up," she spoke as she pushed him away.

I chuckled as I looked at Neville.

"Do you have anything to say Neville?" I asked him.

"No, sweetheart, Im good," Neville spoke up.

I chuckled once more as Jami and I hugged each other once again.

"I dont wanna leave you," Jami said to me.

"I dont wanna leave you either," I told her.

"Oh my gosh, you guys are pathetic, -"

Adelina walked over to us.

"Colby's right, you guys will be living across the hall from each other. There's no need to act dramatic," Adelina said to us.

Jami and I leaned away from each other. We both looked at her.

"Whats your excuse?" Jami asked her.

I snickered.

"I am dramatic, thats who I am," she told her.

Jami just smiled as she hugged her. Neville walked closer to me. He gently placed his hand on my back.

"Are you ready to go beautiful?" Neville asked me softly.

I smiled as I looked at him.

"Yeah, Im ready," I replied.

. . .

I smiled as I walked into Neville's apartment knowing I was moving in. Neville helped me carry my suitcases. We moved all the boxes here earlier. I stared directly at the couch as Neville closed the door. I heard him lock it. My stomach was spinning in a thousand circles from the excitement. Neville walked up behind me, placing his hands on my waist, pressing himself against me, placing a soft kiss to the side of my neck.

"You okay beautiful?" Neville asked me softly.

"Yeah, -"

I turned myself to face him.

"I just can't believe I'm actually living here with you, and that we're actually getting married in a few months," I told him.

He smiled at me before quickly pressing his lips to mine. He captured me in a passionate kiss. I smiled into his kiss as I put my arms around his neck.

"Someone's eager tonight," I spoke as I lightly bit my lip.

Neville looked directly into my eyes.

"Welcome home baby girl," he said to me softly.

I said nothing as I looked at him. I pulled him closer to me pressing our lips together once more. After everything we've been through together, its finally time for us to settle down. I may have moved in here, but this isnt my home. Wherever Neville Longbottom is, that's where my home is.

Taglist:

@cece-lives-here

@saur20

#harry potter smau #harry potter #ron weasley #hermione granger #fred weasley #george weasley #ginny weasley #luna lovegood #draco malfoy #severus snape #albus dumbledore #minerva mcgonagall #hagrid #lucious malfoy #neville longbottom #neville longbottom fluff #neville fluff #neville x reader #neville imagine #neville fanfic #neville x y/n #neville x you

[drkcnry67]

i know its not christmas yet but this is for you (day 9)

A/N: @obxmermaid​  this is day 9, this is what Draco and YN give eachother for christmas and its all lovey dovey and romantic. sorry in advance for the word vomit.

pairing: Draco Malfoy x reader

Prompt: a gift for the one i love

tags: none that i can think of

mentioning @obxmermaid​  &  @sweetness47​

25 days of hogwarts

the following events had taken place before christmas break started and many of the students left hogwarts. between you and Draco telling your friends vs telling the entire school. 

you and hermione spending the day in hogsmede, you wanted to get the perfect gift. you wanted to surprise the man who had stolen your heart. 

after almost 2 hours of going shop to shop you and hermione found the perfect gift, you didnt care how much you had to spend it was the gift spoke to your love for Draco. 

Hermione: i think he is gonna love it, trust me girl, he will love this. just promise me that you will be okay with everything going on in your life right now. dont let the fact that your love with draco is forbidden keep you guys from having a fantastic christmas.

YN: thanks girl, but i think we will be fine, its just gonna be a quiet christmas with me myself and the tutoring plans for term 2. 

Hermione: so your not gonna speak to draco or see him at all over break?

YN: damn girl, how is it that i could hide the biggest secret of my life from you for almost a year and a half but i cant hide the fact that im gonna speak to and possibly see my boyfriend this break. 

hermione: the perks of being cousins. now go you have to wrap that before you see Draco this evening, arent you guys exchanging gifts tonight?

yN: yes we are but we also are gonna be discussing plans to visit our parents over the break. or at least meet with them. seperately so my parents and then his. he says he is still unsure of how our parents are gonna take to meeting us as a couple but it will be easy for them to understand it seeing us in person.

Hermione: i know, i get it, dont worry. i will see what we can do about planning a romantic evening for you both. as your friends we have a obligation to make sure you guys have as much time as possible to spend in sweet romantic bliss. 

YN: i appreciate this. now we should get back. you have class and i have a gift to wrap as well as i have to find an outfit for tonight. 

Hermione walks beside you both of you enter the school together, she blows you a kiss before taking off to her divination class, leaving you an hour to wrap the gift for the love of your life. 

you hummed happily and got changed ready for whatever the evening brings. the hour up and you went to the astronomy tower to prepare to meet Draco. Draco showed up a bit later and smiled as he came up behind you, wrapping his arms round your waist.

Draco: surprise

you jumped a bit before the reality of being in his arms set in...

YN: hey babe... how was your day?

Draco: awful, cause i couldnt hold my girl in my arms. how was spending the day with your cousin. 

YN: it was amazing. let me set the mood before we exchange gifts. 

you snapped your fingers and before long you and draco were sitting in front of a fireplace with the gifts in your laps and sharing a blanket. 

Draco: who goes first. 

you hand draco your gift...

YN: i went with my gut for this one and it looked like you didnt have one so i got this if you dont like it we can exchange it or i can take you shopping in london sometime or what have you. 

you were awe struck when you saw the glimmer in his eye as he opened your gift box. a ring, magically engraved with your initials and your anniversary date.

Draco: thank you YN its the most amazing gift anyone ever gave me... this is the one item that i refuse to ever remove. and it goes perfectly with my gift. 

YN: the engraving only shows up to the one who your initial is paired with. happy anniversary love.  i cant wait to see what you got me... 

Draco: here happy anniversary YN. 

you take his gift and open it immediately your eyes go wide as a goofy smile crosses your features. a necklace with your couple initials and your anniversary date. the same style as his ring. 

YN: draco its beautiful. i guess we both did good for this one didnt we... 

Draco: this is just one of many days of the years to come where i get to spoil my girl. i love you.

YN: i love you too.

with a gentle kiss this evening the eve of your anniversary was a success... 

~to be continued~

#obxmermaidholiday

[taehyungsgrowl]

I can’t believe… We care about Nate? ~

As Nate walked out of the room Y/N didn’t know what she was feeling. Guilt? Anger? Regret?  She didn’t have a chance to try and sort them out because the moment Nate was gone, Duncan appeared.  “Are you okay? Did he touch you? What did he say? I’m gonna kill him don’t worry you’ll never have to see him again.” Duncan’s arms were around her before she could react.   Never see Nate again? After their conversation she wasn’t sure she still wanted that. Did she still have feelings for him or did she feel bad for using him? “Duncan, slow down and relax okay?” She pulled herself back so she could look him in the eyes and caressed his cheek. “I think everything is going to be okay. I’m fine. See? He even cancelled group for today.”  Y/N couldn’t bring herself to tell Duncan about Nate’s reason for acting like he did, she didn’t want to hurt either of them. She had used Nate as a rebound for something that wasn’t even a relationship and then gone right back to that

something

. Would he be fine just being her friend? If the events of the last two semesters were any indication, then Duncan obviously wouldn’t. But was something between them even possible? Their ‘relationship’ had been a mess from the moment they tried.  Duncan could tell there was still something on her mind, “Y/N? What did you talk about?” What aren’t you telling me?” She looked guilty about something, but what? She hadn’t done anything wrong, giving Nate the chance to speak to her alone after what he’d done was a bad idea and Duncan knew it.  “He’s not going to force me to do anything I don’t want to, not anymore. I think he just wants a chance for us to be friends.” It was better to tell Duncan part of the truth than none of it, but she felt another pang of guilt nonetheless.

--

bro.. we did this to ourselves! 

ily

also im sorry i feel like i made this too long but couldnt stop myself smh

--

“Are you sure you’re okay?” he placed a hand on her shoulder, wanting her to open up to him. 

“I am, yeah. Let’s grab some lunch?”

Duncan gave her a weak smile, not completely content with how little she shared about her conversation with Nate, but knew pushing her would be worse. 

“Let’s go,” 

Both her and Duncan were relatively quiet during their lunch. Her mind kept wandering to how she had pretty much stringed Nate along until she saw Duncan again - how she shut him out when she returned. 

“You’re still thinking about it, huh?” Duncan looked up from the road as he drive her home, a guarded expression on his face. 

He didn’t understand what he could have said to make Y/N even think about giving him another chance. Maybe he could offer her to bribe the department to get her into another group so she wouldn’t have to see Nate again. 

“I’m not, Nate!” As soon as the word left he mouth, she knew she messed up, “I’m sorry. Duncan. I’m not,” her cheeks were warm over how embarrassed she was. 

“Right,” he nodded, grimacing. “It’s fine. I just wanna make sure you’re okay.” 

As he pulled into her driveway, she lingered before getting out of his car. 

“I love you, you know that, right?” she asked, looking at him for what felt the first time since her conversation with Nate. 

“Yeah,” he smiled, taking her hand to kiss her knuckles. “You want me to come inside.. maybe finish that movie from the other night?”

She smiled as he kissed her hand, “If it’s okay with you, I just kinda need to alone right now.” She saw his face fall. Y/N reached her hand up to cup his face, “I’ll talk to you later?” she rubbed her thumb over his cheek, until his lips turned up into a smile. 

“I’ll call you later,” he grabbed her wrist and kissed her palm before she finally left his car and went inside her home. 

--

Y/N tried to busy herself with anything that didn’t make her think of Nate or Duncan. She washed her bedsheets, organized her makeup, lose herself to online shopping - anything to keep her mind preoccupied. 

She was in the middle of putting her clothes in the dryer when her phone started to ring. A smile spread over her face knowing Duncan had called her. 

But she was surprised by the unfamiliar number on the screen. 

“Hello?”

“Hi. Is this Y/N? I’m calling from Mercy Hospital, your boyfriend Nate was in an acciden-”

“Oh my god,” she gasped, “Is he okay? What happened? Is-” she began to spit out questions to the caller. 

“Ma’am, he should be fine. You’re listed as his emergency contact so he had to let you know.” they cut her off. 

“Okay, okay. Thank you. I’ll be there soon.” she hung up the phone and hurried out of the house. 

No matter what terms her and Nate left on, she couldn’t explain that worry that washed over her. Regardless of where their relationship stood, she needed to make sure he was okay. 

--

“Nate!” she sighed relief to see him awake in his hospital bed. “Are you okay? What happened?” she set her bag down on a chair and walked over to him. He looked fine for the most part; a little bruised up with his arm in a sling, but nothing like what she had imagined. 

He chuckled, shaking his head. “Yeah, I’m fine. Idiots still just can’t drive in a big city,” he rolled his eyes, “I’m getting discharged soon. Just waiting on the doctor.”

Y/N placed the back of her hand to his face to see if he had any sort of fever. He smiled at her touch, taking her wrist and placing it over his heart. “Thank you for coming - I know we’re not really together, but-”

“It’s okay. Just glad you’re okay,” she gave him a small smile. 

--

Once the doctor signed off on Nate being able to go home, Y/N offered to take him back to his house since his car had already been towed. 

She propped his pillow up and made sure he had water next to his bed along with his medicine. It was the little things like this that made Nate miss having her with him. Even as he winced through the pain, he couldn’t help but smile as she moved around his room - much like she did when they were together. 

Y/N caught him staring at her, “What is it? Do you need anything else?” her hands hovered above him, trying to make sure he was comfortable. 

Nate shook his head, “Nothing, you’re just so beautiful,”

As is on cue,  Duncan’s promised call came through. 

Y/N sighed and excused herself from Nate’s room, “Sorry, I gotta take this,” she stepped out into his hallway. 

“Hey,” she heard the smile in his voice, “How are you feeling?”

“I’m alright,” she kept it short. 

“Are you home?” he asked, his phone tucked between his shoulder and chin as he finished cooking, “I made way too much food for myself and can drop some off if you’d like,” 

“I, um, I’m actually at Nate’s right now.” she chewed on her bottom lip. 

Duncan’s heart froze over. She told him she wanted to be alone. Alone with Nate? He regretted stepping out of that bathroom more than ever before. 

“Y/N, are you okay?” his voice lowered as his tone got more serious, “I can pick you up in less than ten. Give me the address.” 

“No, no, I’m fine. Can we talk later? He needs me right now..”

#virgo 💜 anon #dumb!reader x duncan shepherd #duncan shepherd #dumb!reader #submission

[nathalie-sancoeur-assistant]

This is filled w/ spoilers

So here it is, time for me to pull myself together and post all my thoughts and feelings on the new episode into one big long post. 

So my overall feelings?

I am upset

Not because it was a bad episode- it was amazing, literally so good- nope, it’s because of Nathalie- but I’ll get into that in a moment. I’m gonna put a read-more here cause this is gonna probably be really long- and could very well be a recap of the whole ep with my commentary. 

-----

First off, when Plagg seemed not to like Adrien’s birthday present for Marinette, he seemed so concerned (these screenshots aren’t going to be very good quality because I REALLY don’t feel like going through all the trouble of making them look nice & take hours on one post)

Look at the little bean! SO concerned. It’s perfect Honeybun, she’ll love it. 

Then onto the next scene...

Even during meals, they sit so far away from each other. Why? I’ve often wondered what the point of such a long table with so many chairs could be, especially in a house that’s so big yet so empty. I suppose that it could do well for meetings, but still, this is a family meal, not a company get-together or business meeting with people you have to impress. They have to practically yell at each other to be heard. 

Also, look at this

He basically asked Nathalie for approval. “Should I let him?” “Yes sir, I would.” “Very well, Adrien.”

Also, the fact that Gabriel and Lila have the same meeting place each time. He isn’t just driving by hoping to catch her, they have a time and place set up. And the idea that Marinette is a bad influence? Preposterous! But of course, this is Lila. 

Screw Lila. 

“You work to hard, sir” 

Yes Nathalie, I’m sure you know what working to hard feels like. You’re not exactly relaxing, yourself. 

---

Next scene! 

Ms. Bustier: Marinette, would you bring your school bag to me please, I need to check something

Okay so first off, you’re going off of an anonymous tip that one of your best and most well-behaved students (Aside from being late quite often) is a thief and a cheat? And secondly, you really think that she is SO STUPID that if she had taken them knowingly, she wouldn’t have maybe removed them from her bag? Third, why did Marinette not FIND them in her bag before school started, take them out, and maybe call Alya or something. 

“That’s impossible Marinette, Lila got the worst grade in the class” not impossible if she stole them after the test- also, way to be subtle on grades. I thought teachers were supposed to keep that stuff relatively undercover. 

And Adrien really said “Marinette Rights”

---

So.

There’s no sound of crashing. 

Lila just yells “Ready?” in the most mischievous voice she can

Then she starts screaming

And no one stopped to think “Hey, not only is Marinette really not known to assault people, but we didn’t hear a single thud that would have sounded like someone falling down the stairs preceding her screams.”

“She keeps calling me a liar, getting the others to gang up against me...” SINCE. WHEN?

Also. 

“Oh...I have proof”

How would she have known that the proof was in Marinette’s locker? And again, if she knew, why would she be surprised to find the pendant in Marinette’s locker??

UGH. 

---

Now we get to the part that started lil miss me to get so upset. 

“Are you ready, Nathalie?”

“More than ever.”

She just bounces out from behind him, ready as she’ll ever be. 

Look at her 

Then she goes on to call him the Almighty Scarlet Moth and I just smh 

Awww. She looks like she’s ready to punch those butterflies in the face. You punch those akumas. 

Varity Queen? Princess Justice? Oh yeah. I wanna see those. 

And now to the scene that hurt me

“What’s wrong?!”

“Nothing, everything's fine! Keep going..”

She was so ready to just fall down and choke while he continued his fight and she would have still loved him if he hadn’t stopped to help her

But this seen makes it so clear

he loves her too

Even if it’s just as a friend and assistant, he loves her. And it just...the voice acting, her voice actor was so good, it physically hurts me to watch that scene. 15/10.  

And Tikki yelling at Marinette...well not really yelling...but holy crap, there is a lot riding on this 14 year old girls shoulders when it comes to her own emotions. She’s still learning what some of them are, puberty is far from over with her, so now she just has the added pressure of not being able to feel the natural emotions that occur with hormone fluctuations and righteous anger from being falsely accused without having to be fearful of Hawkmoth’s akuma. 

But on the bright side, Alya FINALLY believes Marinette! She may have her flaws and push Mari a bit to much IMO when it comes to Adrien but hey, when it comes right down to it, she’ll stick it out with her pals. A true friend. 

---

Is that the same doctor we saw at Master Fu’s?

And despite her state, still the only thing she’s thinking about is him, his goals, what he wants- and he’s not even thinking about that right now. 

He looks so distraught too. He needs her. But she’s just so laser focused on one thing that she’s not thinking about the other possibilities. Mark my words, her persistence is what’s going to drive him to stop being Hawkmoth. 

“I don’t care, Gabriel. I want to help you.” I swear, I’m gonna start crying again. She’s telling him how she feels when she says stuff like that! It’s loud and clear. If he hasn’t seen it by now, when it’s more obvious than Marinette could ever hope to be- then literally nothing but her straight up saying the words “I’m in love with you” is gonna make it click. He has to know!

“Not at that cost! Never at that cost again...” then it cuts to his family portrait. 

Why, pray tell, does it cut to his family portrait? Of all things. Why did it cut to anything at all? They didn’t need to go to the trouble of creating a whole new picture to cut to if they didn’t NEED to. It’s saying something. And Im pretty sure that its that he’s not willing to give up Nathalie, not even for Emilie. 

I would also like to point out that in that picture, he is wearing blue- but now, he primarily wears red. What is a combination of blue and red? Purple. The color of Nathalie’s suit. 

Hmm...

Nathalie: Shh

Me: *handing Nooroo pots and pans*

She’s so desperate to help him- and look at how she treats Duusu. She isn’t being cruel. Duusu just told her “No, you should be resting” and she’s just like “Yeah, but what if I didn’t?” not “Don’t tell me what to do!” or any crap like that. Instead she stops and explains herself. And then Duusu...

No, not it’s not romantic. It’s twisted. I love Gabriel and Nathalie as a pair, but this isn’t a romantic gesture. Nathalie is losing herself in her desperation to help him, get the miraculous, end it once and for all, and her desires to please Gabriel even if it means that he’s not going to want her in the end. She is fighting a losing battle, no matter what happens, she’s going to get the short end of the stick- and it just breaks my heart that she is so willing to throw her life away when there are other ways she could be assisting him that don’t include her deteriortating. That’s why I cried so much during this ep- she wants to prove a point by using this miraculous when it isn’t necessary. And that is why I officially HATE seeing Mayura- because each time she transforms she’s one step closer to falling down and not getting back up. 

Also, I thought this scene was super interesting. That’s how she creates a sentimonster? That is so cool. 

Moving on, when Adrien pulls out his phone 

“I am Mayura, and I’m about to annihilate Ladybug, Mwahahaha!” Points for subtlety, Hon. XD

She’s so cute

“I’ve always gone out of my way to hide my true feelings for you but I just can’t do it anymore” possible foreshadowing? Hmmm?? “Your feelings for me haven’t changed and mine are growing stronger every day” I can’t help but think she was speaking from her own heart in some of that. 

And our poor little kitty

So desperate for love, he refuses to believe that

Ladybug wasn’t actually moving on

“She’s so perfect” “I’m nowhere near as perfect as her.”

Also “Senticharm!” *gets big gun blaster thing*

“Lucky Charm!” *gets fork*

Seriously Gabriel and Nathalie belong together at this rate. 

“Nathalie?!”

“Nooroo why didn’t you wake me up?” “I couldnt bring myself to you were sleeping so peacefully” because “Im scared of you and Nathalie told me to Shh” wasn’t the right response. 

She gets tired even when using the miraculous

And she still goes out in the field 

Heeeerrres Hawky!

Legit tho, this is what an anon was talking about earlier from the Gabenath ask meme I did a while back. I said that what I look forin a fanfic would include Hawkmoth needing to save Mayura on the battlefield. And it JUST became canon. Lord have mercy, I think I’ve died XD

Also 

“You’re the real monster!” 

“Oh, that...you’ll find out very soon” He doesn’t even care tho. Like, where’s all his givacraps fly off to? Oh yeah that’s right they’re akumatizing people, they just keep flying away.  

He is huge compared to them. And just going to town trying to whap this 14 year old girl into oblivion. Boy. 

“All I need to do is wait a few minutes until you two turn back into regular kids, so fragile, so easy to break” Absolutely no filter. Do you think that’s going to make you seem less like a villain? We don’t say stuff like that! You can’t just take that back! I swear, if you have a redemption arc it had better be Paarthurnax/Zuko-level convincing because there are very few people willing to forgive you after you say things like that with no remorse. 

“Release her”

You can’t tell me he doesn’t love her- he sucks at it, but he does. Im really hoping he’ll learn from this mistake and never ask her to use the peacock miraculous again- if she uses it, it has to be on her.

“Don’t mind me” Babe if he doesn’t mind you and you’re discovered then it’s just a hop skip and jump from Hawkmoth being Gabriel Agreste, 

He’s carrying her again

Idk if I should focus on how little Nathalie seems to care about how much danger she put herself in or the fact that we have a Gabriel booty close-up

He’s reprimanding her, she starts coughing, her glasses fall off, and he immediately softens up. 

Look at that soft look. And the music that’s playing in the background? It’s so...sad..and enhances the way he’s looking at her. 

And now.....Adrien

As soon as the adults leave, he growls and the music gets more aggressive. Intimidating. 

He is ticked. “Because we’re friends aren’t we?” that was just laced with venom and malice. They say demons run when a good man goes to war. 

Well Adrien’s started packing. Lila better watch her step. 

And in the end, she basically outed herself as a pathological liar. She admitted it, though she likely didn’t word it that way. 

Well, that’s all I have to say. Remember, God made you special and he loves you very much. *veggie tales theme starts playing*

#episode:ladybug #mlb spoilers #big spoilers #ladybug episode #episode ladybug #mlb s3e18 #miraculous ladybug #ladybug #season 3 #mlb s3 spoilers #spoilers #mayura #hawkmoth #nathalie #nathalie sancoeur #gabriel #gabriel agreste #miraculous #miraculous spoilers #ladybug ep #adrien #adrien agreste #chat noir

[mystrangerfics]

“Don’t look away from me.” with angsty Billy please my bb

“Don’t Look Away From Me!” - Billy Hargrove

(Sooo, this took a really odd turn! Sorry! Hope you like it, bb!)

Warning: Swearing, Abuse, Violence.

Pairings: Billy Hargrove x Reader / Steve Harrington x Reader

Word Count: 3440

You kept your arms crossed as you stomped angrily through the crowd of people that filled Tommy H’s house. You had come to the party to surprise your boyfriend, Billy Hargrove. Your prior plans with your parents had fallen through so you had shown up to get drunk and have a fun evening with Billy. Much to your surprise or more sadly, to your lack of surprise, you had found him out back by the pool with a blonde girl from school wrapped around him, their mouths locked together. Your anger had taken over and you had shoved them both back into the pool. You had only stood there long enough for Billy to angrily come up out of the water, looking for who had dared to disturb him. When he saw you standing above him his anger diminished a little and he realized he had messed up.

“Hey! Hey! (Y/N), wait!” Tommy tried as he quickly followed you and tried to grab your arm. You shoved him away from you as you walked out the door, slamming it.

You heard it open behind you quickly and the telltale sign of water dripping on the cement porch. “Where the fuck do you think you’re going?!” Billy hollered as he stomped up behind you.

“Home! I leave you alone for a whole fucking evening and you’re off fucking something else!” You hollered back, not looking at him. “We are so fucking done!” You ripped open your car door to leave but Billy kicked it shut. You turned, looking at him with a glare. “What, Billy?!”

“You’re not even going to let me explain myself?!” Billy snapped, standing in front of you with his broad shoulders squared up.

You snorted before scoffing and shaking your head, rolling your eyes towards the sky. “Sure, Billy! Please explain to me what I saw! I’m sure I really misunderstood!”

“If you would shut your mouth for five minutes I’d tell you!” Billy harped and you just looked at him, crossing your arms. He didn’t speak for a moment and you moved your arms towards him, signifying that you were waiting.

“She just grabbed me right as you came out! It wasn’t what it looked like! You think I would really mess around with that, skank?!” Billy asked, looking at you like he was appalled you would think that.

“That must be why you were trying to push her away by grabbing her ass in your hands,” you said with a flat tone and an unamused face.

“Okay, fine! Yes, I made out with her but that didn’t mean anything,” he argued and screwed up his face. “I was just bored!”

You shook your head at Billy for what felt like the millionth time. “You know, I’m not even surprised,” you admitted to him. “I just can’t believe that you think I’m dumb enough to buy a word that you say!”

“Well if you’re not surprised then why are you being such a bitch?!” Billy asked, motioning to you like you were being ridiculous.

“This is just…you’re so…,” you couldn’t even say anything, your mind racing.  You held your head in your hands and shook it.

“Just come back inside,” Billy said, trying to grab your arm but you pulled it away.

“I should have known not to fucking bother with you. You’re so fucking predictable,” you finally mumbled, hugging yourself.

“What did you fucking say?!” Billy asked and you kept your head down with a sigh. “Don’t look away from me!” You remained quiet and couldn’t bring your eyes to Billy’s level. “What the fuck did I say?!” Billy snapped and you felt him push you into your car and he gripped your jaw, holding your face up to his.

“Let me go!” You hollered as he painfully held your jaw.

“What the fuck did you say?!” Billy hollered and glared.

“Get off me!” You hollered before you shoved Billy back but his grip didn’t let up. You shoved him again and felt his grip tighten, bruising your skin. His hand grabbed into your hair, fisting and pulling before you started hitting him repeatedly, trying to get him off. You heard him growl and he shoved you into your vehicle, knocking the air from your lungs and you fell to your knees.

“Billy! Hey, get off her!” You looked up to see Tommy shoving Billy away from you. “Fucking quit it, man! That’s enough!”

“Come here, babe,” you heard as Carol’s arms wrapped around you and helped you sit up. She held you against her as Billy shoved Tommy back and punched him. “Billy, don’t!” Carol hollered and you gripped around her waist and realized you were crying.

Billy got on top of Tommy and started punching him but after a moment another person ran full force at Billy and tackled him. The fight kept up and you saw Steve Harrington had been the one to join the fight. Steve managed to get a few good punches in and when they broke apart Tommy was back on his feet. Steve and Tommy stood in front of you and Carol, blocking you both from Billy.

“Come on, (Y/N),” Carol whispered to you and stood, slowly helping you to your feet. “Can you walk?” She knew your legs were okay but you were noticeably shaking. You nodded before getting up with her and she helped you towards the porch of Tommy’s house.

“I’m not done talking to her!” Billy harped and you flinched, scared he would somehow get his hands on you again.

“Yeah, you are!” Tommy snapped and pushed Billy back.

“Fucking beat it, Hargrove,” Steve added, stepping up beside Tommy.

Billy looked like he was going to continue to fight for a moment before he scoffed and walked off for his car. “Fuck you both anyways,” he mumbled as he lit a cigarette.

Steve and Tommy watched him for a few moments until he gunned it in his car, swerving dangerously towards Steve and Tommy. Tommy kicked at the car as it went by before looking to Steve with his hands on his hips. They looked over each other for a moment before Tommy stuck his hand out to Steve. There was a moment of hesitation before Steve took his hand and shook it.

“Thanks for helping me, man,” Tommy said after a moment.

“Anytime,” Steve said before he followed Tommy over to you and Carol.

“Let me get you some ice,” Tommy said as he went inside.

“I’m gonna check on him,” Carol whispered to you before she got up to make sure Tommy was okay.

Steve slowly sat himself down beside you and looked at you with a frown. You wiped at your face before sighing a little and looking to Steve. “Thank you,” was all you could think to say before you broke down, crying again.

Steve hesitated for a moment before he slowly wrapped an arm around you and you rested your head on his shoulder. “Shh,” he whispered and pet your hair as he held you to him.

Tommy came out a few minutes later with a towel wrapped up with ice in it. You slowly sat up and took the ice pack, placing it on your tender jaw. “Thank you, Tommy,” you said quietly before you stood up and hugged him.

He held onto you for a moment and rubbed your back, being mindful of where you had slammed against the car. “No one deserves that,” Tommy said as he let you go. “If he does that shit again, you tell me. I’ll fuck him up,” Tommy said back, making you smile a little.

“You’re the best, Tommy,” you said before pulling away from him a little. You had been friends with Tommy and Carol for a long time but had grown distant after they had alienated Steve. It had left you feeling put off with them but then Steve was so wrapped up in Nancy it had left you in the middle with no one.  

“Still got your back, girl,” Tommy said before he went back inside to get his own ice, his face puffy on one side.

“I can’t believe this happened,” you confessed with a little sigh, sitting back on the porch. You sniffled as your nose was still running from your previous tears.

Steve nodded his head in agreement before sighing in disbelief. You both looked up at the night sky and you realized you hadn’t really spoken to Steve since the year before.

“I’m sorry about Nancy,” you mumbled, looking at the towel of ice in your hands. “I know it was a while ago and I’ve been a shit friend but…I am sorry. I know you really loved her.”

“You know,” Steve began before pausing and sighing out. “I think I’ve been a shit friend too. I got with Nancy and I just…I stopped checking in with you. I stopped calling or asking to hang out,” he admitted before running a nervous hand through his hair. “Then you were with Billy and…,” he trailed off, shaking his head.

“I guess we both fucked up,” you said before placing the ice back to your jaw.

“I screwed up first,” Steve said honestly and looked to you. “I’m sorry that I didn’t value our friendship. I just figured you thought what everyone else did, that I turned bitch for Nancy.”

“I’ll be honest,” you mumbled before shrugging. “I did kind of feel that way,” you admitted. “Not at first but when you wrote me off like you did,” you paused before sighing a little. “I think I felt that way because you just left me behind.”

“Honestly,” Steve started before a small, awkward smile appeared on his face. “I liked you more than a friend, so when I got with Nancy, I felt guilty when I talked to you.”

You hid a tiny smirk before nodding your head a little. “If we’re being honest,” you said and Steve nodded. “I was jealous of Nancy.” You looked down as your cheeks reddened a little.

Steve seemed to take in this information with a nod before smiling a bit. “So we were both stupid,” he said before laughing a little and shaking his head. You nodded with your own smile.

Steve looked at you and saw a bruise forming on the back of your neck. He frowned before taking the ice pack that was in your hand, resting on your lap. He readjusted it before he moved closer and brushed your hair back from your neck. He gently pressed the ice to your bruise and you looked at him, your faces closer.

“I’d still be jealous if you were with Nancy,” you admitted with a whisper.

“I’ve wanted to punch Billy Hargrove in the face since the first time I saw him holding your hand,” Steve said back as he looked at you. “I knew he was just going to hurt you. Granted, I didn’t expect it to be this bad or I would have punched him before tonight.”

You smiled a bit at Steve before you leaned over and rested your head on his shoulder. He kept the ice on the back of your neck but leaned his head onto yours. You both stayed quiet and close.

__ __

Steve had followed you home the night of the party and hugged you goodbye. You spent most of the weekend resting until one night you heard a car pull up outside. Your mother and father had just left for a business trip about twenty minutes prior, you thought they might have forgotten something. You pulled open the door but paled when you saw Billy walking up the steps. You quickly slammed the door and locked it before you ran over to the phone, grabbing it up.

“Go away, Billy!” You hollered, holding the phone to your chest.

“Let me in,” Billy said, his voice full of malice. The hair stood up on the back of your neck and you took a step towards the hall. “Open the fucking door, bitch!”

You jumped when he hit the door harshly and you found panic swelling up into your throat.  You quickly began dialing the phone for the police station as there was another loud bang on the door.

“Florence!” You hollered when the woman answered the phone. “Florence I need you to send someone quick! Billy Hargrove is breaking into my house!” There was another loud band and she told you to try and get out or hide and that she would send Hopper. You took the phone with you and ran down the hall. You weren’t sure why but you found yourself dialing Steve’s number, knowing he lived right up the road. You heard him pick up the phone right as you heard the door crash open, you nearly dropped to your knees with fright as you managed to duck into your parents room. “Steve,” you whispered so quietly that you didn’t think he could hear you.

“(Y/N)? What’s wrong?!” He asked, finding himself talking hushed in response to your shaking voice.

“Billy,” you whispered as you quietly crawled across your parents room, trying to make it to a window.

“Billy? Billy, what?” Steve asked, his voice growing concerned.

“Come out, doll! I just want to talk,” you heard Billy say in the hall, his tone taunting.

“I’ll be right there!” You heard through the phone before it clicked.

You tried pushing up the window by your parents bed before you heard the floor creak outside their door. You bit your lip to hide a whimper as you laid yourself down and doved under their bed. The door flew open and you curled into a ball, both hands clasped over your mouth.

“Kitten,” Billy called in a singsong voice. “Why are you hiding? I just wanna talk,” he said and you saw his boots right beside the bed. He kneeled down and his face came into view. “Boo!” He said and grabbed for your legs. You screamed and kicked at him, landing a kick to his face and he fell back.

You dragged yourself forward and got out from under the bed. You scrambled to get your footing as Billy got his and made it into the hall a second before he did. You ran for the door but Billy grabbed your shoulders and threw you to the floor, being able to run faster than you. Your face hit off the floor and your vision span, you groaned and blinked hard, trying to focus. Your eyes landed on the door and your hands reached out, trying to pull you in that direction.

“You wanna slap me?!” Billy hollered down at you before he stomped on one of your hands. You felt immense pain and heard the bones popping before you let out a scream.

“You think you’re too good for me!” He hollered and you flinched as you pulled your wounded hand into yourself.

You had your eyes closed when you heard a meaty thud and waited for the pain to register. When it didn’t and you heard another one you peaked open your eyes.

Steve stood with his back to you, a bat held back, ready to swing. Billy laid on the floor and for a second, your eyes scanned him, thinking he might be dead. A loud, crazed laugh filled the air and Steve kept himself tense.

“Just stay down, Billy!” Steve hollered, adjusting the bat in his grip. He watched as Billy shifted, getting ready to get up before a foot rested on his shoulder and a gun was pointed at his chest.

“I’d listen to him. I think he’s giving you pretty good advice,” Hopper said as he looked down at Billy.

Steve finally rested his bat down by his side and came over to you. “Oh, God,” he whimpered as he held your head gently, keeping it off the floor.

“It’s not as bad as it looks,” you tried but your words were oddly broken up and slurred. Steve pulled a hand from your face to brush back your hair a little, you saw blood smeared on his palm. You hadn’t noticed that you were bleeding but figured it might be your nose.

Hopper kneeled beside Steve after a moment and you just noticed another deputy taking a struggling Billy out. “Ambulance is coming, kid,” he said as he seemed to examine your face, replacing Steve’s hands.

“I think I’m okay,” you said and shifted, trying to get up.

“Hey, hey, hey,” Hopper said and rested a hand on your shoulder, coaxing you to lay back down. “We just need to check you for a concussion and look at the hand. Then you’ll be free,” he explained.

You sighed as you rested your head back but nodded a little. Steve stayed with you on the floor, holding onto your unharmed hand. He frowned as he looked to your other hand that rested against your chest. You were shaking and had to turn your head, to let the blood from your nose drain. Steve wiped it away each time it reappeared, keeping it from running down your cheek.

“Did I at least fuck his face up a little?” You asked after a moment, thinking back to when you kicked Billy.

Steve let a genuine burst of laughter break through his sadness and smiled a bit. He wiped his cheek against his shirt on his shoulder, brushing away a tear. “Yeah, fucked him up good. Split lip, busted nose,” he listed off before smiling. “You got him good.”

“Good,” you hummed and Steve was happy to see your nose stopped bleeding. You seemed less out of it and a little more aware, he relaxed. The paramedics came in and began looking you over.

__ __

“Mom, I am fine,” you assured as you stood by the nurses station, holding the phone to your ear. “Just a cast on my hand,” you explained. “Hopper said someone will fix the door and uh…Steve said he would stay with me.” You explained before biting your lip. “Yes, Harrington.” You said and glanced to where Steve was standing down the hall, waiting for you. “Yes, he is a nice boy,” you replied. “Goodbye, mom!” You said when she started prattling on about the rules of her house.

Steve brought you home and you found the door already fixed. All signs of any disturbance was cleaned up and you made a mental note to thank Hopper.

Steve got you into bed and asked if you needed anything. He stood beside the bed with his hands in his pockets, seeming suddenly unsure of himself.

“I’m okay,” you said with a little smile.

“Okay, well, I’ll be right out on the couch if you need me,” he said, motioning over his shoulder.

“Hey, um, Steve?” You asked, stopping him before he went out the door.

“Yeah, what’s up?” He asked, turning back to you.

“Did you want to…,” you started before stopping with a little sigh. “Would you mind sleeping with me? I don’t want to be alone.”

Steve found a soft smile on his face before he nodded a little, “Sure.” He stopped beside your bed to kick off his shoes and you pushed over for him. He laid on his back, unsure of what you were really comfortable with. He didn’t want to make you feel pressured or nervous by his presence or actions. However, it was only a moment until you rested your head on his chest. Your hand that was in the cast resting there too.

“Thank you for protecting me,” you mumbled quietly. “And for saving me.” You nuzzled a little closer to Steve, his scent calming your nerves.

“I owed you,” Steve said with a little smile. He allowed his hand to run over your back for a moment.

“Well, now I owe you,” you said with a little smile.

Steve bit his lip for a second as he thought what you said over. “Would you let me take you to dinner?”

You paused for a moment before you lifted your head, looking to him and smiled a little. “Yeah,” you whispered before you looked to his lips.

Steve saw your glance and leaned forward a little, hesitantly pressing a peck to your lips. You smiled more at him before pressing your lips back to his, letting it linger for a moment before you pulled away. You laid your head onto his shoulder and nuzzled into his neck. Letting all your bad thoughts and memories from the weekend drift away.

#billy hargrove #billy hargrove x reader #steve harrington #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington imagine #billy hargrove imagine #fic request #prompt request #fic prompt #writing prompt #my stranger fics answers #my stranger fics #stranger things fic #stranger things #carol and tommy #joe keery #dacre montgomery

[rosenburg-lia]

What Does One Even Do?

WHAT? —  Lia has Vanessa over to discuss her situation.

WHEN? —   saturday night, april 4th

TRIGGERS? —  pregnancy

FEATURING —  Vanessa Montgomery ( @thevmontgomery ) mentions of Drew Torres and Tori Santamaria

lia: I cant be a mom, I barely even know how to take care of myself. One of the thoughts that swirled through Lias brain over the last hour. Still sat on the side of the bathtub, the pregnancy test laid on the sink. Her elbow resting on her knee as her focused trained on a specific spot on the floor. Her only move since she had seen the test was to grab her phone and text Vanessa. How the fuck does one even begin to take care of a kid? Taking a deep breath as she stood on shaky legs, collecting the test and her phone as she walked out of the bathroom. She couldnt even grab her usual vices to deal with the anxiety raking her body. Her body felt almost empty, her mind filled to the brim, but as she sat on the couch, wrapping herself in a ball, her hands instinctively fell to her stomach.

Vanessa: It was like her mind got a jump start reading Lia's message. Most of her messages went unnoticed, read, but unnoticed. There wasn't any reason she felt the need to see or speak to everyone all things considering, but Vanessa couldn't leave Lia at a time like this. Vanessa remembered going through all this alone. She remembered staring at the test, having no idea who to call and sitting in a dark room for days by herself. Vanessa wasn't going to let Lia go through that. As soon as she reached Luke and Lia's apartment, she moved straight through the house, finding Lia immediately and wrapping her arms around the girl. Was it for her comfort or the other girl's? It didn't matter, they both needed someone right now.

lia: she allowed herself to be engulfed by vanessa. the tears already falling from her eyes as she felt her arms around her. "I fucked up V," She choked out, "I cant be a mom," She spoke, glancing up to meet her gaze. She was grateful she had Vanessa in her life, even in whatever drama she was going through that made her leave town, she was still there when Lia needed her. But it would take some time for Lia, nothing was processing just feeling like facts floating through the air.

Vanessa: "you didn't fuck up, Lia," vanessa replied softly. it was all flushing back to her remembering this moment for herself. distraught on the floor feeling time collapsing. vanessa rubbed her friend's back, trying to provide whatever comfort she could bring. "we're going to get through this okay? together, i'm not going to let you do this alone."

liaa: "yea i did," She mumbled, her mind flashing through the memories of what shed done. Her night with Drew, telling Tori and subsequently losing her for now, and now this. "I cant let you say that without knowing the whole story," She sighed running her fingers through her hair. "The father is Drew," She spoke softly, "And I dont know what the fuck to do.."

Vanessa: it took everything in vanessa to pull herself together. she took a deep breath, "look, drew is an idiot, but he's gone through this before and i promise you he's going to do the right thing when you tell him, but i'm telling you you're going to have to tell him. you'll regret it for the rest of your life if you don't." she paused, feeling a little choked up about her own situation. vanessa stood up, and grabbing her friend's hand to sit on the tub rail. "we're going to go to the doctor and confirm how far along you are, but listen no impulsive thinking, no drinking, no smoking, no sleeping around, /nothing/."

liaa: her brows scrunched together at vanessas words, "What do you mean hes been through this before?" A sigh as she listened to her words, "I know, I plan on telling him. I will tell him," She paused before mumbling out, "eventually," Her eyes meeting vanessas as she spoke, nodding with her words, "I know, Im really sad too because I picked up a nice eighth," She chuckled, "Kidding...sort of," She sighed, "Im not sleeping around V, I never really have. Im taking this seriously, gonna read all the books and articles. Figure out my choices,"

liaa: "I dont even want to think about how Ill look pregnant, let alone if I have a kid," She spoke, "But I need to know everything, ya know?"

Vanessa: looked down, knowing she had to tell Lia eventually, after all that was the whole reason she came here. "At the end of Freshman year, I found out I was pregnant. He was there for me like with everything. He drove me to all my doctors appointments, let me stay over his place whenever my father got too much, even went on 2 am runs for me to get chinese and crap. And god, did that boy love my son with all his heart," she paused, her voice growing a little weak, but forcing some strength once she looked back to Lia. "He did right by me and he didn't even have to. With you, he's gonna give you and that baby the world if you let him," Vanessa explained. "We don't have to worry about any of that right now. What we need to worry about is you."

liaa: Her eyes widened, but she stayed silent, her brain did not however. The dots connecting in her head when Drew would disappear at times, realizing it was to go visit vanessa, to support her. A fond smile coming to her face as she thought about the boy, even as a best friend, he had been in dad mode from the jump. A part of her feeling warm knowing he wouldnt shove her away, or at least she hoped. "Im scared. Not worried, or nervous. But scared," She spoke, "Its terrifying to know that this has been growing in me, that someone is in there. Not just my organs anymore. I cant just go buckwild when I want because I want. My whole life is getting twisted V,"

Vanessa: "Come on, Li," Vanessa spoke softly. She wasn't going to let her friend be down on herself. She offered her hand out, "I'm gonna do for you what I wish someone would have done for me." Vanessa walked slowly, leading the girl back towards Lia's room and guiding her towards her bed. "Get in. Right now it's the size of a lima-bean at best. All this worrying is going to hurt you more than worrying will hurt the bean."

liaa: She smiled softly, taking her hand, following her through the apartment to her room. "V, its not my place, but did everyone know about your pregnancy? Or just drew?" She asked, "I dont think I want everybody, even the close ones, knowing," pulling the covers of her bed up, curling into them as she laid in the bed. "Ive grown up on worry, I think I can survive,"

Vanessa: pulled out her phone, her home screen showing a photo of Rocky and Vanessa sitting by a Christmas tree with matching smiles that took up their whole faces. "Drew's the only person who knew he was my son for a really long time, like almost three years now. Everyone else just assumed he was my little brother," she explained. "You only have to tell who you want to. I didn't even tell the father until a few months ago. Everyone isn't entitled to your life," she added. Vanessa laid in bed besides her friend, hoping that she was somehow helping. "You've gotta more than survive now."

liaa: Lia smiled as she saw the photo, "Hes adorable V," Listening as Vanessa spoke, her heart warming at the thought of Drew and Rocky interacting. "Im sure youre a great mom," She spoke softly, "Is Dallas the dad? Or did timelines overlap?" She asked, raising a brow, her tone void of all judgment and just interested in the part of her best friend she didnt know. "Why did it have to be Drew? Why couldnt it be Owen or Luke? Did God just wanna send a big fuck you my way? Want to ruin my relationship with Tori?" She sighed, "Or was it karma for not being honest with T from the gun? About everything.."

Vanessa: 's head dropped. She wasn't going to worry Lia about everything going her tragic motherhood. She wasn't a great mother, but that wasn't something she wanted to get into now. "Overlap," Vanessa said lowly. "Hence, me not telling the father until just a while ago." She knew it was wrong and saying it out loud made it all sound ghetto and fucked up, but that was her life. "Drew is not the worst person to have as your baby's father. Luke and Owen are not promised to step up, Drew will," Vanessa explained. "Have you told Tor he's the father yet?"

liaa: She nodded, "Thats fair, and at least you didnt have to lie to someone and or tell them you were wrong or something," She shrugged, "I didnt say he was, thats the issue. Hes perfect, the type to step up and actually support your decisions," She scoffed lightly, "She didnt even hear me out about sleeping with him, I dont think i can ever tell her im pregnant V," Looking at her friend with sad eyes, "It was like she was looking through me after I said it. I dont ever wanna see that look from her again,"

Vanessa: "I don't really wanna talk about Rocky's father if that's okay with you," Vanessa replied, not going too much into the subject. Her son was a sore spot for Vanessa, but the father situation was a whole different kind of pain. "Lia... You don't have to have this baby, you know that right?" Vanessa replied, her words slow so they could actually sink in. "I'm not on anyone's side! But you did sleep with her ex, you couldn't have expected her to just be calm and take that news like a champ. There's very few exes she cares about and you knew Drew was one of them..."

liaa: "Not a problem," She spoke with a nod. She knew better than to try and push Vanessa to talk about whats going on in her head. Turning towards her, a small smile, "I know. Im planning on looking at all options, even the ones that not everyone agrees with," A small shrug following her words, before she went silent. Listening to V speak, knowing she was more than correct in her words. "Its not that I expected her to be calm, but at least hear me out. She just defensive and harsh, which is fair, but i did expect some conversation about it," A small sigh as she ran her fingers through her hair, "its not like I meant to sleep with him V. I didnt hang out with him that night intending to see what his dick looked like, it just happened," Shaking her head lightly, "And I know its not an excuse, but its the truth. It wasnt planned, it wasnt like we ever intended on doing it. The plan was to be friends. Nothing more, nothing less, and now here we are,

Vanessa: "When have you ever known Tori to be much of a talker?" Vanessa replied playfully, shaking her head. "Okay ew! He's my best friend. I really really don't wanna talk about his dick! Whatever reason you had for hanging out with him is your business, but you've got to know that something was going to come from it. Drew too, but look we're not going to worry about that right now. Right now you need to get some sleep. All this worrying and back and forth isn't going to make this easier on you or really anyone involved."

liaa: "We've always been friends V, chaos comes to both of us, its enjoyable together," She shrugged, "I had never planned on being anything with him /after/ he got with Tori," She spoke, "All I know how to do is worry, especially when everything seems to be falling apart at the seams," It was true, everything she had known, was crumbling around her. Leaving her by herself in the storm, hanging onto Vanessa for dear life. "I just want it to be easier, but it wont be. And I know that,"

Vanessa: "You just gotta give her time, but you've also gotta be okay with the fact that she might never forgive you either," Vanessa explained, as much as she didn't want to think it would happen––Vanessa knew her best friend. "Whatever you decide to do, you know I'm gonna be by your side," Vanessa replied, interlocking her had with Lia's. "I wish I could tell you things are going to be easier, I really wish I could," she added softly. She'd be lying to saying anything about it, Vanessa knew /not/ knowing was always the easiest part. "It won't get better, you'll get better."

liaa: "I know, and I accept that. As much as it hurts, I know that she has that right. I betrayed her trust," She shrugged, "But shes always been there, i hate thinking about her not being here," A smile as she felt Vs hand in hers, "I appreciate you so much. For not judging more, or at least expressing it, and for being here. I know youve gone through something recently, and we dont got to talk about it. But it means something to me that your here right now," She spoke, an honest tone in her voice. "But youd be lying," She nodded, "Ive been told that for a while now. Seems like false hope,"

Vanessa: "Don't beat on yourself too much. We both know our girl can be a little dramatic," Vanessa explained. The last thing she wanted to do was be in the middle of this with all her closest friends involved, but Vanessa knew that everyone would be at each other's throats if she didn't stick her nose in it. "Lia, I got pregnant at 14 and became a teen mom at 15, I'm the last person who is ever going to judge you," Vanessa said softly, brushing a strand of hair out of Lia's face. "You know I'd be here for you baby, *but* if you do this dumb shit with Dallas I will put nair in your shampoo," Vanessa teased, wanting to lighten the situation. "You know I got you, pumpkin," she added, resting besides Lia.

liaa: "We all can be, and thats the real issue," She joked, "we all are dramatic bitches and most of the time it works for us," She knew that calling V automatically put her in the middle. It wasnt her intention, she genuinely just needed the girl. "I hope you know I understand if you decide being a part of all this drama is to much. I wouldnt be mad," She spoke, a small shrug at the end of her words, "Youre a strong person V. I know a lot of people dont tell you that, or praise you on other things. But going through what you did at that age, its tough for me now, i cant imagine three years ago," A small smile at Vanessas touch, "I would never with Dallas, hes like a big brother," She chuckled, "Can I admit something to you?" Her eyes turning to find Vanessa in the small light her side lamp gave off.

Vanessa: "I'm not dramatic! I'm just use to a certain lifestyle and anything outside that will be met with outing and tears," Vanessa joked back. She was going to be involved whether Lia called or not. "If you hadn't had called me, one of them would have." Drew would have called or even Tori. Somehow Vanessa always found out. Her head dropped somewhat, a long breath following before looking back to Lia. She didn't feel all too strong, the compliment falling somewhat on deaf ears. "Yeah, what is it?"

liaa: "Yea, not dramatic at all," She spoke sarcastically shaking her head lightly. "You arent wrong," She shrugged lightly, before her hand came up to play with my necklace. "Remember that guy i was into before tori and drew got together?" She questioned, turning slightly to look at V.

Vanessa: "Luke?" Vanessa asked raising an eyebrow. "Or does this have to do with those nice little Tiffany's necklaces you have for each day of the week?"

liaa: She chuckled lightly, "Ive always been into Luke, but its more of a sexual attraction than romantic i think," A small shrug, "And the necklaces are a whole different story for a different time," She rolled her eyes teasingly, "But seriously, again, youre the first person im admitting this to," She spoke before a deep sigh, "The guy was Drew, I had feelings for Drew. But then he got with Tori, and I distanced myself. Allowing the feelings to leave so they could be happy,"

Vanessa: "Plus Fiona would have your head if you tried anything that resembled a serious relationship," Vanessa teased. Her mouth dropped open wide, shockingly surprised at Lia's confession, though if Vanessa was using all her brain cells she could have known. "Amelia Jane Rosenburg!"

liaa: "Bitch I can take Fiona Coyne, shes not as big and bad as she pretends," She chuckled lightly, but knew that there was truth lingered within her words. No one that ends up with Luke or Fiona will compare to them for each other, and Lia wasnt gonna compete with that. "I know I know! But I did the right thing! I wasnt a bitch about it!"

Vanessa: "She will literally /buy/ you! Shit, I'd let her buy me if it weren't for her brother being the hotter Coyne," Vanessa joked. "Plus you can't fight people like Fiona Coyne, they press charges and then run to their men acting like you beat them or something then Luke's just gonna end up mad at you." She would never understand the girl's desire with the eldest Baker, but then again Vanessa's conquests never made sense either. "Did he know?"

liaa: "Yea yea yea, ive been told," She rolled her eyes, "I want to fight her. Ive wanted to for a while, not even because of whatever the fuck the relationship between me and Luke is. Shes just not a good person to me," She shrugged, "I dont think he did considering he tried to console me when it was brought up one day,"

Vanessa: "You're not fighting anyone," Vanessa replied, rolling her eyes playfully. "Do you want to be with him still? Like forget the bean in your belly and Tori, do you actually want to be with Drew?"

liaa: "I want to fight someone, but i can not right now," She spoke, a small shrug. Her eyes looking at the ceiling a she thought over vanessas question. "Yes," She answered, "Hes amazing V, in every sense. Sure hes made some dumb choices, we all have, but god that kid has a heart of gold," A sense of honesty in her tone as she spoke, "He makes the hard seem easy just by coexisting with me if I need him. Hes always willing to distract me or talk shit out with me. When weve gone out hes fought dudes for me because they cant take no," She chuckled lightly, "I want it V, i really really want it,"

Vanessa: "Then you know what you need to do," Vanessa nodded. She knew this was going to be a ride if they were to actually get together, but if Lia was happy Tori would have to come around at some point right? "My mama use to say everything's going to be okay in the end, if it's not okay.. it's not the end."

liaa: "I need to run to alaska and change my name," She spoke with an affirming head nod. Smiling at her words, "Your mom seems like a smart lady. My mom is a cunt," She shrugged with a small chuckle, "Can we just cuddle and sleep? Im done thinking about this,"

#vanessa. #barbie girl💫 plastics #tw:pregnancy

[clownbeep]

This is gonna be kinda brutal. But I want to put it into writing

Big vent/whats been going on

Hah... I guess this is like my life story or some shit...

Trigger warning ahead.. Depression and a bit of gore/suicide talk so if you are sensitive to that please, for your own sake and mental state you might not want to continue.

For those who dont want to hear a pretty dark vent, I understand.

And those who are just scrolling by feel free to scroll past. I just personally want to get this out.

If you have dealt with emotional neglect/abuse and need to know it isnt in your head this might be the post.

By writing this it feels like hopefully someone else will read this and realise certain things are NOT healthy.

If you are questioning if you are being emotionally neglected/abused (im speaking in a parental sense but even romantically or sexually) im not someone to give you answers, but the fact you are questioning it raises some red flags. In a healthy relationship you dont wonder those things.

Sorry for the long prelude but heres what I wanted to say

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Ever since I was young, ive had bad ADHD, manic bipolar/depression, and sensory issues.

I was diagnosed around 13 I believe. My family (I didnt realise it then) always showed pity. Like I was some wild animal that couldnt be tamed and there was nothing they could do. Id do and say stupid attention seeking things just to try and get a shred of empathy.

My family didnt care.

When I was in the hospital for a suicide attempt regaurding pills and my liver had a chance of failing.. None of my family members cried over me. But a family friend. Someone not. Even. Related. Wept over me.

My family didnt care.

I cant say they never cared. They give me food water and luxuries like internet and a phone. For that I am grateful.

But in many other ways they have hurt me faar more than helped.

Once I got out of a short term stay in an inpatient mental facility I desperately needed contact with anyone who would care for me.

I have a younger sister, quite young probably around 7 at the time. She was a close friend of mine for that time. Id hang out with her so often to fill the gap in love it felt my family didnt give. One day I walked into the dining room and overheard my mother and father talking to my little sister. They told her to keep away because I wasnt "stable" because I was "dangerous" and could give her bad Ideas. And with one single action my only friend at the time and way to find happiness was taken away.

My family did not care.

When I stay in bed every day for months on end not knowing which day ill snap and end it all.... I get called lazy.

My family did not care

When I beg for medication to make me a functional human being they brush me off for years on end. Im losing my grip. I can barely remember things that have happened last week because I try so hard to forget everything its my automatic response to everything.

When I cant get to sleep because all of the memories come flooding back and im hit by wave after wave of horrific memories and the feeling if worthlessness... When I cant watch any videos or read posts about families because it brings on unwanted memories and emotions....

Is it me being dramatic then?

When you hear your family openly mocking and laughing about how stupid and dramatic and fake trans people are... How weird and unnatural and mentally insane these people are not knowing they are the very reason grsm and trans suicides are so high...

Am I a liar now? Am I insane?

When I tried to talk to them about my mental health issues. They took my only way of contact and made me feel like it was my own fault.

My family didnt care.

When I was nearly passed out shaking in a bathtub covered in wounds and blood all over... They showed pity, then lectured me for an hour for not telling them or for being impulsive and basically cleaned my wounds and sent me into my room.

My family didnt care.

Yes. I do agree, they cleaned my wounds, the physical side of showing care. However emotionally they were not there.

When my father drinks so heavilly every day he is home from work that he forgets half the things he tells you and can barely function.. They lecture my older sister for having a glass of wine (legal age)

They did not care.

My sister (23) tried for so many years to cling to what little attention she would get by getting good grades and going to college... She realised that it changed nothing about how my family felt toward her.... She snapped.

My family did not care.

She starves herself for a disease she does not have, she uses religion as an exuse to be one of the biggest christian extremists I personally know. Half the days she doesnt eat... Other days she burns book and gets rid of items for being demonic.

My lovely sister used to be kind and quite normal. However she couldnt find comfort in what little live her family gave. Starved for care she turned to religion to un unhealthy degree. Finding any way to keep her mind busy. Now I worry she will end up in the hospital for weighing so little.

My family did not care.

My oldest sister (27) Is married to a continuously cheating husband who she keeps letting back into her life. She was raised with a failing marrige and doesnt seem to see when she should call it quits.

Not to mention her husband has touched someone legally under the age of concent. Did she report him to the authorities? No.

All of these horrific things stemming from bad parenting. Unhealthy relationships and neglect.

Neglect emotionally can cause just as bad things as physical neglect. They are both horrifically dangerous in different ways.

These are the only big things I can remember... Basically age 15 and below are a complete blur to me and I cant remember much of it without thinking for a looong time. Even then I cant remember a lot of it... I feel like ive lost my whole damn childhood. And it hurts more than if they had just hit me or physically harmed me.

Im not underplaying physically harm. But in my personaly opinion I would rather my family have beaten me badly because at least then id have an easier way to prove to people how severe the abuse was. You can see bruises and confirm broken bones... But years of feeling completely useless and being shut off from most of the world other than the internet... It fucks you up in a way I dont think can be healed.

I dont know if I can ever love myself or... Remember things. Its terrifying to think Ill post this and a few weeks later probably not even rememner unless its brought up. Or meeting people and having conversations... And they are just... Gone.

Gone.

I suppose the biggest reason im writing this is well... In the future I dont want to forget in some ways.. I want like to be 100× as awesome knowing itll start as soon as im out of here..

If I dont have anything to compare it too then what is the point?

Ive layed out basically most of what I remember

A large amount of time I look around and nothing registers... Everything is familiar but I cant remember anything for a moment or two.. I feel like my memory is slipping so fast and im terrified.. I cant do anything to stop it and I cant make my mood be stable without the medication my family cant be bothered to get ...

I suppose this is a bit of a vent. I know its kind of everywhere and unorganized..

If im honest.. Tumblr is the only place where people have given me a home I wish I had..

I came out as trans here... Everyone was so damn supportive.. I didnt say anything but I cried hard and the kindness.. It was amazing.. It was such a jarring difference to how I feel when I say anything in real life.

Ive met friends here and ive had some much fun here. If youve stuck around this far thank you so much.. If you didnt I dont blame you.

I just wanted to share what has been flashing in my head these past few days.. It hurts a lot and ive even considered suicide recently..

Im trying hard. As hard as I can.. I have no escape though.

I cannot leave home. I cannot escape. Im not being dramatic.

I

CANT

LEAVE

And its terrifying because I know without medication or at least being somewhere AWAY from family.... I feel like im going to break soon.

I dont want to do anything stupid.. But some days I cant think straight and do things that harm myself and its not good. Its not okay. Im aware that I need help but I have no idea where to go/turn.. I have no ID or drivers liscence.. I have no transportation to and from a job to get money so I can leave... I live in the middle of nowhere.... I just..

I dont want to lose touch. I dont want to do anything bad.. I want to be functional.. I want to do more than eat and sleep my life away because I have nothing else to do..

Im so damn sick and tired of this all.. And at times I really do feel like there is only one way out.

Its always there and I just feel like one of these days im gonna be pushed over the edge and not be thinking clearly enough to stop it.

Im thinking semi clearly right now which is my im posting this.. Because im afraid and alone.

I have nowhere to go irl I have no friends Irl i just have tumblr and media and thats it. I dont expect anyone to be able to help I just wanted to write this so anyone knows what happens if I leave media..

If I tell my family my issues they will blow me off again for the 11th time or so (not exaggerated)

And if I do something to get sent to the hospital and get the help I need the cycle will continue with them being pissed and me getting sent home in a month or less anly for my family relationships to get worse..

Im spiraling fuether and further and I cant keep up the facade of being fine. I need help. And i have no way to get it. Ive just been suffering for years...

Sitting around and doing nothing but using your phone or drawing or whatever sound fun in theory... But if thats all youve been able to do for years with little to no real life social contact its gonna mess with your head... I dont want to be a shut in... I just

I dont know what to do.

Im sorry for rambling. I will most likely delete this later feeling embarrassed I posted this...

Im just tired..

#trigger warning #triggering #may be triggering #vent #emotional neglect #emotional abuse #suicide #suicide trigger #gore warning #memory problems #ramble #rambles