#and i definitely didn’t need to dye my hair blueberry

[secret-time-is-here]

Double stitched - Rewrite

Finally did the rewrite :D

A lot of Double stitched is out of date and no longer canon in Dreamswap, so I’ve been wanting to fix it for a while... and now I will :)

Probably A LOT of the series will need some rewriting, better working with Ink, Dream, Blue, Nightmare- all the characters... And Underverse Error espically... because well, I didn’t really get to work too well with the canon of his character at the time-keep in mind I wrote this two years ago and finished the series a year ago-so After a while of thinking I started working on it and I’m super exicted to share it! :)

(For those that don’t remember, this is a little Errorcest, just a random idea of if UnderVerse Error got stuck in DreamSwap, and somehow I made it gay. I chose not to question it myself and just rewrite the story.)

FIXED DOUBLE STITCHED SO THE DREAMSWAP CHARACTERS ARE HUMAN LIKE THEY ARE IN ONEBIZZAREKIA’S CANON

Also, for once, I did do the glitching, and from now on will be trying to pre-write chapter so I can make it more accurate and go over mistakes, as well as do the glitching to make it a little more Error. There is a difference between DS!Error’s and UV!Error’s glitching though, but only slight, just enough so you can tell without me saying it.

Chapter 1

Previous(The original series) - First(Here) - Next

Groaning, the glitched skeleton woke up, body sore from fighting, bones creaking in protest, wanting more rest. Where was he? Last his buzzing mind could remember he was fighting Ink, then the stupid squid teleported him away from the near destruction of the Au they were in. He couldn’t have been teleported far… but his surroundings said otherwise.

Sitting up and looking around, he was in the Anti Void, but it didn’t feel like it. What was that damned place Core brought survivors to-wasn’t that place supposed to look like the Anti Void? This new place felt foreign, his magic somewhere in it, but different elements. More basic, not his destructive magic that came with his title as a god.

How far away was he teleported? The Anti Void was vast, but there’s no way he made it back to where he first entered, way back to when he was only a pathetic Geno variant.

Searching the space, he felt two more presences of magic, one that was near identical to the Cross he knew and another that felt like a toned-down version of Nightmare, the same amount of magic as that little insolent guardian Dream.

Why would Cross, much less someone with the same magic presence as Nightmare, be in the Anti Void?

Quickly, the destroyer opened serval windows, checking on the AUs, confirming if they were all still the same. They weren’t.

A large, near castle-like building with a “JR” logo plastered on its front sign, was in place of Nightmare’s mansion, a god-like human version of Dream judging by the crown, and a pretty normal-looking human Ink talking and possibly looking over the paper’s in the room he checked on.

When did Dream get so tall? Or get wings? His outfit was totally different too. The crown still sat perched on his skull, but he had the tunic he used to wear, just a different color-a plain brown, with a yellow flaming jacket over it. The cuffs and hood of which were fluffy. An odd trinket sat just under the fold of his collar too, what looked like an ovular spiked sun with a red jewel resting in the middle. He was also wearing basic pants and tied shoes, completely different from the normal boots and battle gear that the destroyer was used to seeing. His skin was almond, eyes blood shot with yellow-pupils a darker yellow to stand out, and hair dark blonde. Looking neat and kept, parted off to the side of his head.

Even Ink was different, dull colors instead of the vibrant ones the artist usually had. Dull grays, dirty browns and bronze colored his outfit. The only thing still vibrant about him being the being his colorful expression of boredom and the shiny “JR” pin on his paintless peanut brown scarf. It was weird. A simple black t-shirt, plain brown jacket with dark gray cuffs and hood, coin gray shorts, boring lace-up ankle shoes. Honestly, the only thing that looked the same was the paint stain on his cheek. 

Inks skin was reddish golden, darker freckles peaking out from underneath the paint stain and across his face. His eyes were still mismatched, one green and the other orange. His bright blonde hair was shaved on the sides and swooped over to the right, showing off the double gold piercings in his ears. Ash gray tattoos peaked out from underneath his shorts, curling and crawling down his calves with long bold designs. His paint brush had changed as well, barely noticeable from a distance, a long thin pole with a small long tuff of hair at the end, the “JR” pin hanging on as an accessory by some decorated strings.

The different Ink seemed to get fed up with the god-Dream and left the room, flipping the bird and showing off brown fingerless gloves as well.

“MaybE THIs Ink and I cOuLd gET aLOnG...” He chuckled, before moving his attention to the next window he had opened, surprisingly not far from the god-Dream.

Some version of Blueberry was there static and glitching, small white blocks littering his left eye. Just like Dream and Ink, his outfit was different too and he was also human. Instead of a tattered and worn bandana, he wore a long blue scarf, a long-sleeved half blue half spiked white sweater, plain pants, and blue boots. His skin was a pale vanilla, and eyes a light blue, matching well with his light fawn brown hair. Was he stalking the god-Dream?! Jeez, this was definitely not his multiverse.

Abruptly, not minutes after Ink left, Blue got out of his hiding spot and strutted into Dream’s office, the look on the Guardian’s face was priceless. Man, now he wants to see the little baby grandpa in his multiverse have an actually pissed face.

Deciding that the expression was too much, he scouted for any other’s he could recognize, swiftly finding  a human Cross and another human that looked like a purple version of the Dream he knew. At least this Cross looked a little less dorky, and less complicated outfit. That ridiculously big hood was gone, and he wore a simple black long sleeved shirt instead of a turtle neck, his scarf still wrapped around his neck but split off into two ends. Instead of X’s being extra accessories, they were actually in the design of the shirt and shorts, the shoes still owning a cross on each, the color changed to a pitch black. Still not a color in sight except the red scar that adorned his cheek and the single red eye that showed Chara was still very active in this world, the other eye grey.

His skin was quite literally white, as pale and plain as the AntiVoid. His hair was white as well, although a little duller, like a drop of grey mixed in with pure white paint. His hair was styled to meet together at the top, he couldn’t help but laugh at the fact it looked like a trimmed bush. Much like the Ink he had seen earlier, this Cross had piercings, a single black circle on the bottom of each earlobe.

“Nightmare!” This multiverse’s Cross yelled to the purple Dream, who innocently poked his head out of what was probably his room, “Did you put dye in my toothpaste?!” The destroyer just had to turn the window around to see- yep, purple-tinted teeth. At least this Nightmare seemed to be somewhat evil.

He couldn’t help but laugh, all the same, he was so… short. A crown similar to Dream’s sat snug on his head parting his bangs and the rest of his hair, but instead of curving in, at the middle sat a plate with a waxing crescent engraved into it. His skin was nearly the same color as the Dream he had seen before, just a tad darker, light purple eyes beaming through the shade of his untidy and mess bangs. This Nightmare also wore a tunic similar to the God-Dreams, but instead of a plain brown, he wore one that was black lined with white that was short-sleeved, and a torn-up purple scarf hung off his shoulders with a waxing crescent pin holding it together. Purple boots decorated his feet in contrast to slippers covered in tarry goo. They were completely different people at least from physical appearance. He had no clue about their personality yet.

Finally, he searched for one person specifically, where was this multiverse’s version of himself? Was he out giddily destroying AUs? Taking souls to add to his collection? Not even close, just being wimpy and knitting together some doll while sitting in a random OuterTale timeline.

Their outfit was terribly plain too, not that he was incredibly good at fashion, but he does have eyelights. Simple short sleeve hoodie, plain boring short scarf, boring red shirt, simple gloves, dark shorts, and high laced boots. His skin was dark like his own bones, this versions dark brown hair pulled back and braided into long dreadlocks.

Changing the window to a portal, he jumped out of the weird Anti Void and landed nearby the other, startling the skeleton some.

“WhO-O...?” They tried to start but was swiftly cut off.

“I gOt sOmE quEsTIOns, buddy.” His glitching voice explained, getting straight to the point, “I dOn’T knOw wHaT muLTIvERsE I’m In, oR hOw ThE HeLl I gOT HeRE.” He continued, noticing that there was another difference, their eyes. This multiverse’s Error not sharing the red back-drop, his left eye yellow, and the right red. Curved red rimmed glasses sitting just in front of them. The tear stains there but altered incredibly, a near electric blue flowing down his cheeks like cracks in glass “BuT I dO knOw THaT yOu’RE an aLTERnaTE vERsIOn Of mE and I nEEd answERs.”

The other Error stared at him, confused, they seemed to both have the glitching and error messages at least.

“Okay…? I guEss? Sit dOwn and I’ll tRy-Ry and hElp yOu, u-uh, OthER… mE?”

“NO fIGhT? JEEz, THIs muLTIvERsE Is wImpy and wEIRd.” The destroyer commented, sitting down a yard or so away from the other, haphephobia making it difficult to sit any closer.

“BEfORE any quEstiOns, wE shOuld pRObably gEt this namE thing sOrtEd, uh-” His alternate spoke, voice not nearly as glitchy as his. Suddenly, the other Error snapped his fingers, “YOu glitch mORE than mE! WE can call yOu Glitch- and I guEss I can gO by…” The other skeleton looked down at his hands, “...StRings.”

“ALrIghT, STrINGs, wHaT’s GOInG On In THIs muLTIvERsE? SO faR, DREam sOmEHOw gOT wInGs, Ink and I cOuLd acTuaLLy GeT aLOnG fOR OncE, BluE Is a sTaLkER and GLiTChy, NiGHTmaRE isn’t cOvEREd In TaR, CROss acTuaLLy sHOws EmOTIOns, and yOu jusT sEEm LIkE a wImpy LEss amazInG vERsIOn Of mE. And EvEryOnE’s Human.”

Strings gave him a confused look, especially on the part of them being humans, mixed with a glare for the comment.

“Can yOu Explain hOw yOuR multivERsE is?” The other Error asked through gritted yellow teeth, another shared trait.

“SuRE? Ink’s an emOTIOnLEss ass, DREam’s a usELEss prOTEcTOR wITH a babyfacE-but sTILL can be an ass and GeT In my way, BluE Is a dETERmInEd paIn In THe ass, NIgHTmaRE’s a smaRT ass, CROss Is aLsO an emOTIOnLEss ass, and Of cOuRsE, I’m awEsOmE and back tO dEsTROyInG AUs afTeR THaT squId bROkE OuR sTupId TRucE.” Glitch said simply, leaning back against the rocks and staring up into space, “In summaRy, EvERyOnE’s an assHoLE THaT GeT’s In my way, buT THe dRama Is beTtER THan UndERNovELa sO I can’T cOmpLaIn tOO much. Plus, wE’RE aLL skELETOns, wHITE bOnEs, ExcEpT fOR mE, and NIGHTmaRE I guEss.”

Strings hummed in reply, not fully happy with the explanation, mainly because of the destroying AUs part, but not wanting to fight at the moment. Leisurely, he started to get back to work on the doll he had started to work on before Glitch randomly appeared.

The destroyer looked over to the other at the sound of needles clicking fast, sitting back up as he watched Strings proficiently and easily knit away at the doll. His hands moving quickly, looping around and pulling more string from his eyes on occasion, method well-practiced.

“HeH,” Glitch let a chuckle escape, “nO maTTeR tHe muLTIvERsE, I can aT LEasT cOunT On OTHeR mE’s knOwInG hOw To knIT.”

“And hERe I thOught I was wimpy and lEss amazing, mR.EgO cOmplEx.” Strings joked sarcastically, smirking all the while. Slightly slowing his pace down to talk easier, he asked: “YOu knit tOO? DEspitE bEing an all-mighty dEstrOyER oR whatEvER?”

“Of cOuRsE I dO! BEsT pasT TImE, asIdE fROm UndERNOvELLa.” He smiled slightly, not used to doing it so carefree, only ever really smiling at the chaotic destruction of an AU.

Time went on like that, just them talking. Finding their few differences but mostly sharing their commonalities. It felt like hours had passed by in the blink of an eye when in reality, they hadn’t been talking for that long. Their conversation was abruptly stopped when a portal opened behind them, two figures running out of it.

“Night? CROss? What are yOu guys dOing hErE?” Strings asked, standing up and running over to his friends, Glitch watching awkwardly from a distance.

“You’ve been gone for hours!” Cross shouted, nearly lurching at strings before stopping himself. Strings, understanding what he was going for, slowly eased into hugging him, “We were worried… if Dream found you...”

“PlEasE, guys, I’m the OnE that busts yOu twO Out. I’m finE.” Strings assured.

Glitch, feeling left out, decided to walk over and get introductions out of the way.

“HEaRTfElt REunIOn, whaTevER, I’m kInda sTuck heRE and fROm a dIffEREnT muLTIvERsE, sO yEaH.” Glitch swiftly interrupted, standing somewhat near the group of housemates or whatever they were. Strings didn’t mention specifically what they were to him.

“SoRRy, GlItch. Night, CROss, this is Glitch- An ErROr fROm a diffEREnt multivERsE.” Strings gestured, not surprised when his counterpart didn’t accept the handshake from Nightmare and instead moved away from it. “Glitch, this is my NightmarE and CROss, my bEst fRiEnds, tEammatEs, annOying hOusEmatEs...”

“Rude.” Cross spoke up, but a small smile appeared with the comment, Strings rolling his eye lights to the stars, Glitch only nodding in acceptance.

“So… uh,” Nightmare tried to converse, “How different is your multiverse?”

Dreamswap, concept and outfits, all belongs to @onebizarrekai

Ink belongs to @comyet

Error belongs to @loverofpiggies

Cross & underverse belong to @jakei95

Blue belongs to the community

Nightmare and Dream belong to the community

#Undertale #Fanfic #double stitched #Chapter 1 #Double Stitched chapter 1 #Dreamswap #Dreamswap Dream #Dream #Dreamswap Nightmare #Nightmare #Dreamswap Ink #Ink #Dreamswap Cross #Cross #Dreamswap Blue #Blue #YES THE BASTARD IS BACK #Dreamswap Error #Error #Underverse #Underverse Error #UV Error x DS Error #DS Error x UV Error #Errorcest #Glitch x Strings #Strings x Glitch

[loveforpreserumsteve]

Those Who Fall: “APTF” Story (Modern Domestic Stucky AU)

Twelve:

By the following Wednesday, the family had a new schedule. Despite Steve and Bucky both telling Wanda that she didn't have to, she insisted on making breakfast and dinner. Claiming that she liked to cook. And considering the pair didn't want to ruin this bond they were creating with her, they let her. If she got there first, of course.

That morning, however, Wanda was preoccupied helping Sophia with her hair. Since it was Homecoming Spirit Week for the entire school district, even the younger kids got to participate. Which Steve preferred after the years where the younger foster kids were deeply upset that the older kids got to dress silly while they didn't.

While Bucky made French toast, Wanda stood behind Sophia while she sat at the island. Having twisted the front of her hair into a cone shape and pulled the rest of it into a high ponytail, Wanda secured it with an elastic. Picking up the Little Mermaid brush, she started teasing it.

"You're good at that," Steve commented, watching the pair while he toasted a couple of marshmallows.

Wanda blushed, "I was in cosmetology school."

"Was?" Bucky questioned, flipping a slice of browned bread.

Focusing even further on Sophia's hair, Wanda didn't say anything. Steve and Bucky exchanged a look. Similar to the one they shared when they found out that she had dropped out of high school when she was sixteen and gotten her GED instead. But neither were going to comment on it.

"Do we have clothes pins?"

Steve took the golden mallows off the flame and turned to look over at Luke. Brows furrowed as he answered, "They should be in the laundry room. Why?"

Without answering, the older boy rushed through the house and headed down the stairs to the lower level. Steve was even more confused, but he decided not to dwell on it. Easily redirecting his attention to the sweets in his hands. Making sure that they were cool to touch, Steve walked around the island to Ethan.

The six year old's white-blond hair had been colored red, orange, and yellow with some wash-out hair color sprays. Wanda had already shaped it into a mohawk and now all Steve needed to do was to clip in the hair clips that they had glued twigs to. Four hair clips all together and Steve tried make it seem more organic in their placement.

"Breakfast's done," Bucky declared, setting a plate with a large mound of French toast. Making a silly face for Holly to laugh at, Bucky said, "I'm gonna hop in the shower now."

"Alright, honey," Steve said, studying Ethan's wacky hair.

"Whoa!" Steve heard Bucky say from the living room.

Glancing that way, Steve's brows arched high on his forehead as he spotted Luke. With colorful plastic clothes pins latched onto the defined curls created from the sponge, Luke reminded Steve of a porcupine. A very cute porcupine that any girl would be lucky to date, but a porcupine.

"Okay," Wanda said, setting the brush down. Helping Sophia off the stool, she led her out to the deck where she could use the washable dyes on Sophia's hair.

Steve watched the two for a moment. Wanda had the eight year old cover her face with her tiny hands. After shaking the cans, Wanda sprayed. Not too much, just enough. Making sure that Sophia's hair was just lightly colored pink, purple, and white. Once those were done, she went around with the glitter spray.

As it turned out, Wanda was more than just good at hair, she was good with the kids in general. Even if she had only been there for a week -- tomorrow -- Steve had a feeling that she was there to stay. Or at least he really, really, hoped.

"Do you know how to get hairspray paint stains out of clothes?" Wanda asked as soon as they returned inside the house.

"Um," Steve made a face, "I don't. I usually just have paint colored clothes."

Wanda chewed on her lip as she looked at her protruding 20 week baby bump. Although Steve had taken her shopping, and she had picked out a couple of cute outfits, she still preferred to sleep in the sweats that she borrowed that first night. Not that either Steve or Bucky minded. Steve doubted that Bucky would mind that an old sweatshirt suddenly had paint stains. After all, he had plenty of them to thank Steve for.

"Don't worry about it," Steve assured.

"Wanda, do you want syrup or powdered sugar?" Luke asked, divvying up the breakfast stack.

Wanda tapped her fingers against her small bump and answered, "Both."

Ethan looked up at Wanda like she was a revelation as he asked, "You can do that?" Then he turned his gaze on Steve. As though betrayed, he said, "I want both."

"Oh, no," Steve shut that down immediately.

Personally offended, Ethan slapped his hands on the island counter, "How come Wanda gets both?"

"Because," Steve started and paused. Trying to think of a good enough excuse, he explained, "It's a vote from both Wanda and the baby."

"That sucks!"

"Hey, little man," Steve reprimanded while Sophia's jaw dropped so far that her half-chewed slice of French toast nearly tumbled out of it. "That's a No-No Phrase, and you know it."

Ethan slumped in his seat and pushed the slices of French toast covered in powdered sugar around. Steve took in a deep breath and gave Luke a look. Especially when the older boy was attempted to refrain from laughing. Shaking his head, Steve walked over to the high chair and started feeding Holly.

"Babe!" Bucky called out.

"Honey!" Steve replied, opening his mouth wide and getting the ten month old to mimic him.

"Have you seen that green tie?" Bucky asked, returning to the kitchen.

Continuing feeding the baby he said, "Gonna need you to be just a little more specific there, Buck."

"The light one," Bucky barely clarified. When Steve quirked a brow, Bucky said, "Not the mint green, but the brighter one. The one that Sophia always calls my, 'Happy Tie.'"

Steve paused his feeding to glance back at the eight year old, "Daddy's tie is missing, you have any clue where it is?"

Sophia ducked her chin down to her chest, "Barbie and her friends were having a fashion show."

"Missy, we're going to have a long sit down later. Ya got me?" Bucky said, arching his brows and waiting for a moment until Sophia looked up at him.

"I got ya," Sophia finally answered.

"Good," Bucky sweetly smiled at her before turning to head upstairs to her bedroom.

"Sophia Rose," Steve sighed, gaining her attention. "We just talked about how it's not nice to take things that aren't yours without asking."

"But Barbie needed a --"

"No," Steve shook his head. Exasperated, he reminded, "We just bought Barbie some more accessories a couple of weeks ago." Before Sophia could defend herself further, Steve continued, "Let's make a deal. If you don't take anyone's things for two weeks, we'll go and pick out some holiday accessories. How's that sound?"

Sophia's eyes lit up and she eagerly agreed. Steve smiled, pleased with himself and happy for making his daughter happy. When Holly started getting fussy, Steve got back to feeding her. Having added some mushed up blueberries was a hit. Usually, Holly tapped out of eating her baby cereal by now. So, Steve definitely had to remember this, and wondered how she'd feel about pumpkin.

"Okay," Bucky announced his presence as he entered the kitchen. Tightening the tie's knot at his neck, Bucky asked, "How do I look?"

"So handsome," Steve answered, not looking at his husband as he used the spoon to gather the mush from Holly's face. Her cute little tongue peeking out of her mouth to lick the food from around her mouth.

"Steve," Bucky whined, resting his chin on the top of Steve's head, "You didn't even look."

For a moment, Bucky held Holly's attention as he must've been making silly faces because she started giggling. Her happy laughter making her face red as she kicked her legs in glee. Once it turned into squealing, Steve decided they should get back to breakfast.

"So, ask the kids," Steve teased, earning a poke to his side that made him playfully flinch.

Bucky removed his chin from where it was resting and took a step back, "Well?"

"You look nice," Wanda kindly answered while Luke dismissively said, "Good? I guess?"

"Thank you," Bucky accepted.

"I like your tie, daddy!" Ethan cheerfully replied with a full mouth.

Steve looked over his shoulder at that. Playfully, narrowing his eyes at the little boy and pointing accusingly at him. Ethan's mouth snapped shut, and Steve smiled at the little boy while Bucky said, "Thanks, bub."

"You look handsome, daddy! Like a Ken doll," Sophia complimented.

"Like a Ken doll," Bucky repeated, walking around the island with a small stack of French toast for himself. Sitting down between Sophia and Steve, Bucky avoided the sticky top of the little girl's currently colorful head and kissed her cheek as he said, "Thank you, sweetheart."

Steve glanced back over his shoulder to his husband. Allowing his gaze to run over his broad shoulders, down his chest, and to his lap before traveling back up to Bucky's face. The attractive bastard had the audacity to have a smug smirk on his face with his brows arched amusedly on his forehead.

"You look good, honey," Steve leaned in, so only the brunet would hear, "Real good."

Bucky kissed his temple and whispered, "Tease."

#a place to fall #jump then fall #those who fall #bonus #stucky #steve rogers #bucky barnes #steve rogers x bucky barnes #marvel #fanfic #wattpad #ao3 #modern au #domestic life #fluff #smut #otp

[lovemesomesurveys]

How often do you take painkillers? Everyday. I’m on a pain management regimen. Are they prescribed?  Yes. Do you curse in average conversations?  No. Do you own any leather?  Nope. Just pleather. Do you party because you like it or because you're supposed to? I don’t party or go out at all anymore (and I can’t even blame the quarantine for that, I’ve been doing that for the past few years), but back when I did have a social life and hung out with friends and drank, part of it was because I felt I had to. Like I was a young in my early 20s, that’s what you do, right? That was my thinking at the time. My friends all wanted to do it. I’m not going to say I never had fun or that I never wanted to, but I wouldn’t have done it as much otherwise.

Who's the person you think about when you're lying awake?  I think more about a lot of things rather than people or a certain someone. Have you ever bought a shot glass?  Yeah. Do you have a therapist? No. I should. Have you ever wanted to be a superhero? No. Do you like menthol cigarettes?  I don’t like any cigarettes. Do you ever fall for spam mail?  Nope. Ever used an online dating site?  Nope. I have no interest. What color do you wear the most?  Black. Do you only eat cough drops because you like the taste? No. I have had cough drops before when I didn’t actually need one, though. The minty ones were really minty and I liked them.  Have you ever gotten a good grade in math class? I actually managed a B once in one of my math classes in college.  Do you have a tumblr account?  Nope, never heard of it.  Have you ever seen a ghost?  No. Insomniac?  Yes. What do you think of the last person you texted?  She’s my Nana, I love her. She’s so sweet. Have you parents ever walked in on you having sex? Gah, nooo. I would die. Have you ever lied about being a virgin?  No. I am a virgin, I have no reason to lie about that. Are Australian accents attractive? Sure. Do you like getting stoned?  I haven’t smoked in years. Have you ever gotten a bloody nose from snorting cocaine? I’ve never done cocaine. Have you ever smoked cocaine? ^^^ Do you own a full set of coloured pencils?  Yeah, I actually have a few.  Have you ever seriously questioned your sexuality?  No. Red, white, yellow, or pink roses?  All of them are pretty. What's the worst name your mom has ever called you? She’s never called me a mean name. Do you think someone would ever want to marry you? Nope. I don’t see myself ever getting married. Do you know who Jim Morrison is?  Yeah. Have you ever done acid?  Nope. Were you at a rave? I’ve never been to rave. I’ve never had any interest in going to one. Can you usually tell when someone's lying? I think I’m pretty good at that. Have you ever made a mistake just so you could feel miserable?  No? I make a lot of mistakes and feel miserable, but I definitely don’t purposely make them so I can feel miserable. Do you like Thanksgiving? Yeah. How about Christmas? I love Christmas. Are you friends with any of your ex's?  I don’t have any friends anymore, but yeah I was.

Have you ever thought you were drowning? No. That’s a terrifying thought. What's the most embarrassing artist you have on your ipod? I don’t think any of the music I listen to is embarrassing. Also, I don’t use an iPod, I use Spotify on my phone. Do you know someone in the army?  Yes. Do gay people make you uncomfortable?  No... they’re just people? Someone who happens to be gay could also possibly make me feel uncomfortable for some reason, but it’s not because they’re gay. Anyone could make me feel uncomfortable.

Do straight people make you uncomfortable? Same thing as I said up there. ^^^ Do you ever wear coloured eye liner?  Nah. I haven’t worn any eyeliner (or any makeup at all) in quite awhile. I always just preferred black, though. Target or Walmart?  Target. Have you ever used crest white strips? Did they work?  I’ve never used them. Who's the last person you made a mix cd for?  I haven’t made one in several years, but it was probably my mom. I made them all the time. Did you ever have a thing for any of your teachers? Nope. Do you excercise every day? I don’t exercise at all. I should work on my upper body strength.  Have you ever used a dark room?  Nope. How many hours of sleep did you get last night? About 8. Have you ditched any classes today? I’m done with school. What does the word 'Candy' mean to you?  Uhh, something sugary and sweet? Have you ever listened to christian music? Yes. Are you the 'creative child'?  I’m not creative at all.  Would you ever dye your hair pink? No. I like dyeing my hair red. Do you ever masturbate?  No. Are you embarassed about your sex life or lack there of? I’m not embarrassed about my non-existent sex life.  Who's the last person you said I love you to?  My mom. What's your stance on spooning?  I’ve honestly never done it, but seems nice and cute and comforting. To be honest; though, I get hot very easily so I don’t think I could do it for a long time haha. Have you ever seen a shooting star?  Nope. Have you ever been 'popular'?  Nope. And that’s perfectly fine with me. Has someone ever tried to convert you? Yes. Are you thin?  Yes. I’m actually underweight. Do you like big earrings?  No. Are you scared of your future? Yes. I’m terrified of what my future holds and now with everything going on, I’m really scared about what’s in store going forward. Are you a whiskey person? No. I don’t drink at all. Do you ever listen to oldies? Yeah. I like a variety of artists/bands from various genres and decades. Are you good at making conversation?  Nopeeee. Do you go on a lot of dates?  Ha, no. I haven’t been on one in years and I’ve only been on a few. Have you ever been told that you dress like a slut?  No. What's the best compliment you've ever recieved? Hmm.  Do you still watch cartoons?  I still watch Rugrats, Hey Arnold, and Doug. Are you a comic book geek? Nope. I’ve never read any.

When's the last time you had Starbucks? Early March sometime. The fact it’s been over a month since I’ve had it is a new record for me. Are you a fan of muffins?  Yeah. Banana muffins (without the walnut) are my favorite. Blueberry, lemon poppyseed, and cinnamon streusel are also delicious.  Did you just think of sex?  ...No? Have you ever heard of The Cranberries?  Yep. I love Zombie and Linger. What's your most recent obsession? I finally started Tiger King and I’m just about done. I’m not quite obsessed like a lot of people seem to be, but it is interesting. Are you feeling okay today?  Meh. Does anyone care?  I know my family does.

#personal #text #survey #surveys

[kiruuuuu]

Thatcher/Lesion in which they go on vacation together and manage to confront a few things. Mostly each other. (Rating E, fluff, kinda explicit, emotional hurt/comfort, ~7.3k words) - dedicated to both @glazkov-smile​ and @magehir​ because the former put this ship into my head and the latter encouraged me 💕 I didn’t mean for it to become this long but here we are and oh look I’m stuck what a surprise

.

It’s telling that Thatcher doesn’t even remember what it’s like back home, finds no memories with which to compare his current situation for there is no space for anything other than the deep and profound calm filling him completely. He watches the tea leaves unfurl gently, soaking up the hot water while simultaneously dyeing it, breathes in the cool, clear morning air and listens. A soft breeze rustles leaves, birds sing – no cars audible or even anywhere in sight, only the pleasant rise and fall of the mountains and valleys surrounding him. Though his mind knows it not to be true, he’s always been here in his heart, far from people and stress and obligations, free from his duties, allowed to just be himself. He’s content.

Something shifts behind him, fabric drags over fabric and a blissful sigh lets him know that his companion is far from ready to begin this new day. Thatcher is almost tempted to let him sleep a bit longer, glance at the peaceful face now and then while he enjoys his tea and just wait until brown eyes blink at him sleepily. But they’re not on vacation to laze around, so instead he reaches out into the tiny tent behind him and scratches where he suspects Lesion’s feet to be inside his sleeping bag. An indignant yelp followed by flailing violent enough to threaten the tent’s stability lets him know he indeed hit exactly the right spot and so he leaves it at that, worried about the cup in his other hand, and goes back to admiring the beautiful scenery before him.

When Lesion emerges, he’s squinting at the brightness of the early summer sun and gratefully accepts the mug Thatcher hands him with a mumbled something. It takes several sips for him to perk up enough so Thatcher can consider initiating a conversation.

“Slept better this night?”, he wants to know curiously though the drawn-out yawn is almost answer enough.

“Not really. At least I’ve gotten used to it being this stupidly quiet”, Lesion replies with a self-deprecating smile. To Thatcher, sleeping while being surrounded by noise was something he had to train himself to do whereas Lesion is largely unfamiliar with total silence. “At this point I can only guess why I can’t sleep.”

“What’s your best guess then? Anything I can do to help?”

For some reason, this earns him a side glance and no more than a dismissive shrug. Maybe it’s nightmares and he’d rather not talk about them when it’s obvious how much Thatcher is enjoying this escape from everyday life. There are pillow creases on Lesion’s cheek and more down his arm, indents telling of his regularly interrupted and yet deep sleep. Together with his wild hair, the peculiarly patterned t-shirt and naked legs, he looks young and almost adorable, though Thatcher would rather saw off his own foot than admit this out loud.

“What’s for breakfast? I swear if it’s anything with fish again, I’m going to chuck it into the nearest gorge.”

This finally drags Lesion out of his morning funk and prompts a soft laugh in between gulps of green tea. “You’ve definitely come to the wrong place then, Norway is quite well-known for its excellent fish and not-so known for its deep gorges.”

“I came here to hike, camp and do both without too much human contact, not to turn into a seagull.”

“What does that make me then?”

“You don’t count as human contact”, Thatcher waves his question aside, well aware of how disparaging his comment could sound but confident Lesion will take it the right way. “You’ve seen me at various high and low points in my life and you’ve still stuck around.”

“I have, haven’t I”, Lesion murmurs more to himself than in response, smiling into his tea.

“Clearly because of my sunny personality.” When his friend chokes on the liquid, Thatcher doesn’t know whether to be offended or pleased.

.

They’ve been travelling for a week by now and are scheduled to return in a few days; a date towards which Thatcher looks with trepidation. He hasn’t felt this peaceful in years, not even during other vacations, and long accepted the low, insistent buzzing at the back of his skull as an inevitable side effect of his work – switching off is something at which he’s never been good and it’s always affected his relationships, even friendships. Maybe he’s getting old or careless, who knows, yet this time around he’s finally thoroughly enjoying himself. It took him three days to realise and funnily enough he’d literally stopped to smell some flowers at Lesion’s indication when it hit him: the need to justify this waste of time to himself was gone. His heartbeat didn’t spike when he thought about some of the things he’d have to do once they return. He didn’t urge them to move on if they lingered.

Lesion’s laid-back attitude seems to be contagious and though it spared Thatcher’s rigid sleep schedule, it allowed him to properly marvel at Norway’s breathtaking natural beauty and not despair over the lack of any reliable transportation, instead trusting Lesion that hitchhiking will get them to their small handful of destinations in their own time. They’ve picked up some Norwegian on the way, communicated with grand gestures when no common language was found and joked around with whoever was friendly enough to give them a ride. Thatcher even begrudgingly admits that his international phone plan comes in handy whenever his old and tattered map proves unreliable – he bought it for a planned holiday twenty years ago but it ended up never happening due to his partner at the time coming down with an acute case of lying, cheating and stealing.

Nostalgia is a powerful yet dangerous thing and so Thatcher mostly focuses on the present. Everything else would’ve been unfair to Lesion anyway.

Contrary to Thatcher’s underlying worries, the day plays out perfectly and couldn’t go any better than it does. They pack up after breakfast, careful not to leave anything behind, and hike for an hour to reconnect with the nearest street where they almost immediately get picked up and taken to a town close to the next sight they’re planning to explore. They stock up on supplies, causing a slight commotion in the store when Lesion repeatedly tries to smuggle herring salad into their basket with Thatcher objecting more and more emphatically. They really must look like tourists, Lesion especially with his cargo shorts and frankly embarrassing sun hat – and Thatcher thanks whichever deity is responsible for common sense for stopping his companion from bringing a selfie-stick.

The hike up the mountain isn’t as bad as some others they’ve mastered previously and doesn’t even begin to compare to some of their training exercises, so Thatcher takes a gleeful pride in passing by resting younger couples or families while hardly out of breath and matching Lesion’s unmerciful tempo effortlessly. The only time they stop is to pick some wild blueberries and argue about what to eat for dinner.

“Okay”, says Lesion once they’ve arrived at the entrance of the first cave, “why are we here again?”

Thatcher wants to both laugh and sigh simultaneously and ends up scoffing instead. “You really don’t remember? I told you this morning.”

“See, there’s your mistake – it was morning.”

“How do you normally go on vacations? Do you just wander around until a random flight accidentally lets you on and you’ve just always been lucky to bring the right clothes so far?”

A wide grin is his reply. “Tell me, Mike. What are we here to see?”

It probably should vex him that Lesion doesn’t seem to share his enthusiasm for scenic spots but as he always finds something meaningful to say about them and never complains, Thatcher has to admit he doesn’t mind doing most of the planning. And so he talks about the Trollkirka or troll church which isn’t a church at all but rather a marble cavern with a waterfall, and how they’re about to explore the three limestone grottos around it.

“Sounds better than your idea for improvised fishing the other day. Do we need flashlights?”

Thatcher pauses, recalls the descriptions he’s read for the caves and grimaces. “Are you telling me you haven’t developed the ability to see in the dark over the years?”

“I’ve got a phone. Let’s go.”

.

The lack of daylight turns out to be not the only obstacle they’re facing: there’s a shallow underground stream happily gurgling past their feet and covering the entire width of the floor. It adds a lot to the atmosphere, that much is true – for the short moment during which Lesion experimentally switches off his phone’s light, it really is utterly dark, yet the calming echo of the water turns what might’ve been menacing otherwise into something soothing instead.

Even so. Lesion’s casual shoes aren’t waterproof.

They’re both hunched over right now as the ceiling isn’t high enough to accommodate them and while Thatcher pays next to no attention to where he treads, Lesion carefully steps from stone to stone, choosing more elevated parts in order to save his socks from getting soaked. He looks almost like a very ungraceful and vaguely irritated bird and Thatcher only barely manages not to comment on his stilted walking.

“From what I’ve seen it’s worth the hassle at least”, he tries to cheer his companion up and earns a pained grin visible in the unsteady, cold light of his phone.

“I believe you, trust me, I’m not complaining – look, I like getting wet, just not like this.”

Thatcher snorts and is about to respond when Lesion hits his head on a particularly low part of the ceiling with a yelp, causing him to drop his device right into the clear water. Once again, the light source dies and leaves them in pitch black, only this time it’s accompanied by a lot of cursing from Lesion as well as the sound of frantic splashing while he searches for his phone by his feet.

“Fuck, okay, here it is, shit. Can you use yours so I can take a look at it?”

Even now, Lesion doesn’t sound annoyed, merely exasperated, and Thatcher decides to buy him a few drinks once they’re back in civilisation. A quick pat down his own trousers assures him that yes, while he does have his own smartphone in his front pocket, he’s going to have a hard time getting it out with the way he’s bending over, stretching the fabric and restricting access to his pockets. “I can try but it’s hard to get, I don’t want to do the same thing you just did.”

For a second, all Thatcher hears is the rippling water, his own fingernails scratching over his jeans in their attempt to dive into his pocket and blood rushing in his ears. He can sense Lesion even if he can’t see him.

Eventually, there’s a quiet: “Let me try.”

There are footsteps now and they sound like their owner couldn’t care less about whether or not his socks end up drenched. Thatcher stretches out an arm for guidance, lets his hand meet Lesion’s and wander up his extended limb before resting it on his side once he’s close enough. They stand there, holding on to each other in the dark, and for some reason Thatcher’s lips are burning, itchy all of a sudden, he’s painfully aware of warm fabric under his palm and that’s when fingertips brush over his thigh.

He holds his breath. It’s suddenly imperative that he does even if he’s uncertain why, and then deft hands run over the edges of his phone, ticklish and tingling and he tries so hard to see anything, maybe make out Lesion’s expression by sheer force of will but all he gets in return is fingernails digging into skin and the feel of regular in- and exhales against his hand which refuses to move anywhere else.

Neither of them speak. The air is lovely and cool compared to the increasing summer heat outside but right now it’s both the same to Thatcher. Lesion makes a small noise of effort and moves, prompting Thatcher to finally drop his arm and twist a bit to make it easier for him. When he feels the device being slid out, he slowly breathes out and hopes the sound of the stream drowns it out.

It’s like flicking a switch. As soon as Thatcher turns the torch on, both of them snap back to what feels like reality even if he’s not sure what to call the previous darkness in comparison. The phone is just as soaked as Lesion’s socks and so they jokingly lament the loss of a good friend before moving on.

When they reach the waterfall, illuminated by bright rays falling in through the open ceiling and caught by a basin of light marble, Thatcher has shaken off any residues of the event, his mind is clear again and gone is the pounding in his chest. And even now, Lesion – shoes squelching and phone longing for a bag of rice – isn’t complaining.

The marvellous sight before him is oddly moving and so Thatcher hears himself say: “I’m glad we came here.” But he doesn’t only mean the waterfall, doesn’t only mean the cave.

“Me too”, Lesion replies and it sounds as if he’s referring to the same thing Thatcher is.

.

They play Xiangqi and drink brennevin.

Lesion almost immediately dives head first into tipsy territory as he hates the taste of it so much he downs half his glass in one go and then giggles at length over how international their set-up is: he’s in Norway with a Brit, playing Chinese chess and drinking Icelandic aquavit which he finds hilarious for no reason. Thatcher watches him fondly and utterly destroys him at the game several times in a row, not even hiding the fact he enjoys his wins seeing as Lesion usually outplays him effortlessly. They’re using a small magnetic set Lesion gifted him after their first meeting, intent on playing against him one day. Thatcher learned the rules and practised with whoever proved good enough, then they started playing via messages, informing each other of their day so far as well as the move they chose to make – a fact which somehow amused Mute to no end when he heard of it.

Setting up camp has gotten easier and easier as the week progressed, now they’re a well-oiled machine, the brennevin at the end the only deviation from their usual routine tonight. Stretched out on their sleeping bags in front of the tent, they make up more and more ridiculous toasts in between moving their pieces on the board and watching as the sun slowly sets, painting the clouds in beautiful pink and purple. Alcohol loosens their tongues and makes them forget they’re so high up that they could have a snowball fight within walking distance of their small tent.

“You keep saying drinking makes me sentimental and I keep denying it, but you know what? I think you’re right”, Lesion declares out of the blue and rolls around a bit to stretch and yawn. The hem of his shirt rides up, briefly flashes unnatural colours and dark ink on his lower back.

Thatcher’s gaze lingers until he realises he can’t set up the board without looking, and so he diverts his attention again. “Why, what are you thinking of?”

“Just that I’m glad to be here. I like it.” A warm smile is directed at him which does more than all the aquavit he’s had so far. “Thanks for inviting me.”

“Thanks for coming along.” Both of them remember how easy it had been: Thatcher mentioning Norway, Lesion showing interest, Thatcher suggesting they go together, Lesion accepting. Less than a minute, really, and he almost expected nothing to come out of it with which he’d been fine as he thought the knowledge that Lesion would accompany him is enough. Now he knows he would’ve been wrong, all of this is so much better.

“You usually go on vacations alone, don’t you?”, Lesion wants to know, curious, and makes no move to start yet another game, so Thatcher doesn’t remind him for now.

“I do, yes. I’ve travelled with a few people in the past but it often didn’t go well.”

“How come?”

He shrugs, unconcerned, but his friend is interested now, has propped his head up and is watching him intently. The twilight blurs a few details, softens his image and sharpens it only when Thatcher doesn’t return his gaze directly. So he doesn’t. “Didn’t work out. Many reasons, really. Conflict of interests more often than not. Lost sight of a lot of them afterwards, to be honest.” At this point, he’s confusing their current topic with something entirely unrelated – Lesion did ask about his travels, not about his ex-partners, right? How can he even mix these up?

“You’re not talking to any of them anymore?”

Huh, maybe they are talking of his past relationships after all because that’s what it sounds like. His mouth has developed a mind of its own, readily answering where his brain goes wait a second. “Not really, no. With most of them, it’s over after a year. I’m terrible at keeping in touch with people.”

Lesion looks at him. His expression is unreadable but Thatcher feels like he’s missing something important, misinterpreting something, skidding on ice where he thought he’d be fine but how can he avoid obstacles when he keep failing to identify them?

“I keep wondering what they’re up to these days, some of them were lovely. Maybe I could’ve ended up with one of them if I’d put a little more effort in.” He’s babbling and paying very little attention to his own words which seems to uphold a balance – because it turns out Lesion is indeed taking note very attentively.

“Probably not”, he states calmly. “Not with your horrible commitment issues.”

At first, Thatcher thinks he misheard. And when it finally sinks in that no, not his slightly foggy brain came up with that remark but rather the person before him, the man who so casually opens another match of Xiangqi as if he didn’t just say … well, that – when he realises, Thatcher is furious. “What?”, he barks, incredulous and reeling.

Lesion pretends nothing is wrong and simply produces a small, questioning hm? while even going so far as to meet his eyes in pretend innocence.

“I don’t fucking have – are you serious?” Lesion nods silently as if Thatcher had just asked him whether he was hungry. “That’s bloody ridiculous and you know it is. I’ve been in the regiment for almost my entire life, Tze Long, don’t you think that counts for something? What, you think I didn’t have a choice? I chose to make it my life and if that isn’t commitment then I don’t know what is. Maybe I just have different priorities than most people, but the fact that I can fucking exist without needing another person to tie my shoes does not imply -”

The longer he rants, the more stoic Lesion’s expression becomes. With every sentence he spits at him, dismantles the offensive and unkind comment, Lesion distances himself, avoids eye contact, looks around, takes a sip of clear liquor, inspects the long-forgotten chess board between them. His behaviour only fuels Thatcher’s indignation and though he can’t shake the feeling of somehow being out of line, overreacting maybe, he’s genuinely hurt.

Even so, his heart races and his adrenalin is spiking – his fight or flight response is kicking in and he has to wade through the mud of subconscious urging to just get up and run to arrive at every next sentence he spews out. Eventually, he realises he’s been going off for entirely too long and snaps his mouth shut. He abruptly understands that he’s afraid, but of what?

Lesion stops fiddling with the zip on his sleeping bag and looks up. Strangely, there’s disappointment lining his features along with steely resolve. “Are you done?” When Thatcher confirms with a nod, he adds, softer: “Kiss me.”

Thatcher’s head is swimming. He feels unnaturally warm. “No”, he replies.

“Coward.” It’s said in the same gentle, unfitting tone. Almost as if he expected it. Neither of them are moving.

“I don’t want to kiss you”, Thatcher explains very rationally, as he thinks, “I don’t – why would I want to kiss you?”

“A coward and a liar.”

He carefully avoids thinking about it too much. They’re both drunk so it’s not even worth any deliberations, not worth his time, maybe it’s a joke or Lesion really is feeling unnaturally sentimental – whatever it is, he’d best stop their weird conversation right here. Lesion’s presence is suffocating so switching topics is not a viable option, however, and thus Thatcher physically distances himself from him, grabs the bottle, gets up, turns away. “I’m going for a walk”, he grits out and doesn’t look back as he leaves, swaying a little.

Hopefully the odd mood will have dissipated once they’ve slept over it but spending the night next to his friend somehow feels impossible right then.

.

Walking around on hard snow, hearing and feeling it crunch under his hiking boots while knowing it’s summer and he’ll have to face over 30°C again the next day is vaguely surreal. The snow field a few hundred metres away from their tent glows in a dark blue, the crystals reflecting the dying light of the sun and creating a strangely bright canvas. In most places, it has melted and re-frozen into a solid mass but there are some where it’s still malleable and allows for Thatcher to sink in one or two centimetres. He considers pissing his name into it but discards the idea as too juvenile, though the thought of leaving behind something possibly for other hikers to find is tempting.

Besides, he’s desperate for anything which will take his mind off… everything, really.

It’s starting to get hard to see, he should return soon instead of stumbling about and taking swigs directly out of the bright green bottle, the colour vibrant even now against the white backdrop. Caraway lingers on his tongue, a taste he doesn’t even enjoy that much yet Lesion convinced him to purchase and try the Scandinavian distillate regardless. Maybe he could just write something, his footsteps are crassly visible and disturb the landscape anyway, but what? His own name would seem self-centric but he squats down still, intent on leaving a mark somehow.

The snow is biting against the skin of his fingertips, the cold radiating and surrounding his body uncomfortable but he continues scratching letters into the half-frozen surface, at some point putting the brennevin away so he can use both hands. It’s almost therapeutic, switches off his brain and reduces him to nothing but his simple task. Once he’s finished, he steps away to inspect it in full view.

Who dares wins, the snow tells him.

He’s shivering.

When was the last time he took a leap of faith? When did he last dare, really dare? Instead of risking nothing because he already knew the stakes, had done something similar a handful of times before, pretended it was a hard decision but his mind had been made up all along?

His fingers are still numb when he zips open the tent to crawl inside. Over here, it’s much warmer, even warmer encased in yellow canvas. Lesion has dragged both their sleeping bags inside already, wrapped himself in his and has his back turned to him, pretending to sleep or possibly asleep already, maybe just dozing or woken up by Thatcher’s return. It doesn’t matter.

Though his eyes have adapted to the increasing darkness, here he can’t make out more than rough shapes and fumbles a bit until he finds what he’s looking for. When he unzips the sleeping bag, Lesion stirs, rolls over in response to an insistent hand pulling him towards Thatcher and sighs groggily – he really might’ve been sleeping already, has Thatcher been gone that long?

He startles awake when icy cold fingers seek out his jaw and struggles against the gentle hold for a moment, about to protest or maybe ask something or merely make a noise of objection, but this too doesn’t matter. Because Thatcher seals his lips with his own.

It’s awkward, their noses bump together and one of Thatcher’s arms isn’t happy with his position, he has to crane his neck and keep body tension so he doesn’t fall on top of the other man yet when he feels Lesion melt against him, it’s all forgotten, easily trumped by soft lips moving and a hand clawing at him for purchase, a leg sliding over his own and he’s so warm, Lesion is stupidly warm and how was he able to overlook this fact the entire time.

One of them gasps for air, one of them groans and suddenly they’re intertwined, making out with no stopping in sight and grabbing at everything in reach. Lesion tastes of caraway, too, his tongue scalding hot in Thatcher’s mouth, courting his own, and for the first time Thatcher admits to himself what it does to him, what Lesion does to him, has done a few times in the past, when colourful swirls and a tiger filled his vision, when fingers worked away at his thigh, and now even more so with their mouths pressed together. It’s insistent, hurried and hopeful somehow, Thatcher feels it as well, contributes to the urgency.

He slips one of his hands under Lesion’s shirt, causing him to mewl and shy away from the coldness, in his attempt to escape scooting impossibly closer to Thatcher, and he decides he likes this, enjoys making him squirm. He strokes his fingers over Lesion’s back, half expecting to be able to feel his tattoo somehow and earning another surprised yelp and angry wiggling, a tight grip around his forearm convincing him to relent and not leech more warmth than he’s offered.

The tent barely offers enough room for them to lie next to each other without touching but more than enough for Thatcher to lie down on top of Lesion, cover him with his body while licking into his mouth and drinking in his quiet panting. Arms wrap around him readily, holding him tight and preventing escape should he be foolish enough to consider it. He isn’t, however. Not this time.

They’re pushing against each other now, aimless and uncoordinated, him bearing down on Lesion and he moving against Thatcher, enough to create a spark between them which catches on and kindles fire; a fire fuelled by feeling Lesion’s naked legs rubbing over his, the small noises he’s making without being aware, the way he follows Thatcher’s lead and tilts his head to deepen their kissing, equally loath to interrupt it as the Brit is.

The silence between them should be unnerving yet Thatcher doesn’t care, communicates without words and pulls on Lesion’s underwear to convey what he wants. To take them off, Lesion breaks the kiss and Thatcher immediately moves his lips to another spot as if he’d lose years of his life for every second they’re not connected to any part of Lesion. He sucks his way down his neck and earns gasps in return which he decides he likes a lot also. Even so, the way Lesion jumps when Thatcher’s hand brushes over his naked hip makes it clear he’s not going to do much touching any time soon.

Mutely, Lesion makes him understand to flip them over and perches on top of him once he has reversed their positions. He’s in a much better spot to take care of them now, yet instead of opening Thatcher’s trousers, he spits into hand and reaches behind him and suddenly Thatcher can feel his own heartbeat in his teeth. Very nearly he lets out a curse but miraculously catches himself in the last second, listening intently to Lesion’s heavy breaths, every hitch, soft exhale, sharp inhale. Fierce need is pulsing through him, clouding his mind and occupying his thoughts. Distractedly, he unbuttons his jeans, careful not to touch any part of Lesion in the process, and frees stiff flesh looking for contact.

When Lesion leans down as if to avoid eye contact – which is impossible to establish in the blackness of the night anyway –, Thatcher claims his mouth once again, swallows all the quiet noises and allows his palms to run over Lesion’s torso, above the fabric to avoid more wincing. Even now when it’s clear what they’re about to do, they don’t slow down, don’t stop to indulge themselves or each other. Lesion deems himself ready much too soon and only briefly wraps slick fingers around Thatcher before moving his hips up, hovering for no more than a second before sinking down. His groan is tinted with pain but he doesn’t let that stop him and so Thatcher doesn’t interfere; partly also because he’s suddenly encased in tight heat which feels so incredibly good that he’s got trouble not thrusting deeper straightaway.

His hands are restlessly roaming, eager to explore all now that they’re allowed to and end up on Lesion’s thighs, massaging the burning skin and guiding his first tentative movements which quickly turn more fluid and come faster. It’s almost desperate but Thatcher refrains from slowing him down, too caught up in the moment to try and make it last. He wants this so badly he soon starts thrusting up, meeting Lesion’s hips with his own and wrenching sounds from his throat in the process. It turns out he’s surprisingly loud which is a whole other turn-on because it’s not for Thatcher’s benefit, not even for his own – it sounds involuntary and broken and cut-off, almost distressed, and Thatcher can’t get enough.

Even though Lesion is on top, Thatcher seizes all control and takes over, decides how to move and endeavours to coax more moans out of him by overwhelming him with stimulation: he nibbles at the nape of his neck, licks over his ear’s outer shell and sucks on his jaw. He feels out his back muscles and ribs and nipples and hipbones and caresses them all, catching him in an embrace repeatedly and making them move in unison. Every whine and whimper he harvests, uttered directly into his ear, makes it harder to breathe.

When he deems his hands warm enough, he reaches between their bodies, between Lesion’s legs, and grabs the hard, hot member to skilfully massage more moans out of Lesion: despairing, pitiful noises only rising in volume when he experiments a bit and increases the speed, adapting to Lesion’s more and more frantic motions as if he was scared of Thatcher stopping any second. He doesn’t, though, doesn’t let up, merely tightens his hold, increases the intensity and brings both of them closer and closer to the edge.

They come simultaneously by pure coincidence, Thatcher arching up and burying his face against Lesion’s shoulder while he pants in disbelief over how fucking good it feels, Lesion trembling above him and wrapping his own hand around Thatcher’s to show him how he likes it. They shudder while they gently ride it out, fingers digging into skin, teeth clenched, lower half throbbing in vicious relief, and only stop moving once the tension holding their bodies taut has subsided. Lesion pulls him out but doesn’t climb down which is fine with Thatcher, prompting him to disregard all concerns for cleanliness and embrace him, turn them on their sides and leave them pressed together.

Their breathing normalises over time and Lesion crawls into his open sleeping bag, dragging Thatcher with him, and yawns once they’ve interlaced their limbs. The alcohol probably plays a part in it but Thatcher is also thoroughly exhausted, muscles sore from all the walking and now this as well, adrenaline worn off, panic not yet setting in. The proximity of the smaller body encased in his arms shouldn’t be this soothing, and yet it is.

They fall asleep in each other’s arms, never having said a word after Thatcher came back. They just hold on like they’re each other’s lifeline.

.

It’s going to be a gloomy day. Thatcher can tell even before he opens his eyes.

Where he’s been waking up to bright sunshine for an entire week, blinding even through the tent’s fabric and his closed eyelids, now it’s subdued and inhibited, hardly strong enough to help him shake off the remnants of deep yet unrestful sleep. This is the second issue: he’s had too much to drink the night before and long passed the days when he could booze much and suffer little. His head is pounding… and so is his heart. Because there’s something else too. A mistake, his brain provides a little too eagerly and convinces him once more that he’s being chased, hunted, threatened, tortured – that he needs to flee or strike back or lash out preemptively.

Refusing to give in to these urges is remarkably difficult. Much more difficult than giving in to his urges the way he did the previous night, oddly enough, and isn’t that an interesting topic to bring up with his therapist.

He’s alone, which is a small comfort but a comfort nonetheless, he’d have recoiled violently had he woken up next to a warm body. His hungover, sleep-drunk mind is not a kind place. As he’s still clothed, he simply closes his trousers and ventures out into the world of eating or being eaten. And feels his composure crack when he catches sight of Lesion.

He looks terrible.

Not even after most missions in the past did he look this fatalistic, this crushed; he can’t have gotten a lick of sleep and is piteously wrapped in some of his spare clothes. The air is unusually cool today, the sun hidden behind thick layers of clouds and the night not showing any mercy for lost, regretting men. He’s not looking over but the hand with which he holds his mug starts shaking, so he rests it on the ground and blinks at it a little too often.

Thatcher’s chest seizes with guilt and confusion – there’s no doubt he did this, he’s the reason, but he doesn’t understand. How can Lesion know what Thatcher’s brain is telling him to do? How can he know just how big of a coward Thatcher really is? How did he know he was lying?

Unsure of what to say, he looks around and spots the bottle he left behind somewhere else yesterday, turns to the snow field and finds a large Chinese character next to where he assumes he carved his own message. Unlike his, it’s dark and perfectly visible, probably laid out with gravel and thus likely to remain considerably longer as well as garner more attention.

“What does the symbol stand for?”, he asks. It looks familiar but he can’t recall where he’s seen it before.

Lesion doesn’t raise his gaze. “Good fortune”, he answers quietly and his voice breaks on the second word. He’s a wreck and Thatcher doesn’t know how to remedy it.

No. That’s a lie. He just doesn’t want to.

But is that really the truth? Or is he -

They seem to fare better when they’re not looking at each other, so he sits down behind Lesion, pulls him against his chest and when he’s met with resistance, he only pulls harder. Once he can cradle him, he notices the slight shivering and whispers a reassuring shhh, repeats it while kissing his temple, while wrapping himself around him as much as he can, while gently wiping moisture away. It’s not much, Lesion isn’t allowing himself to give in completely, but it unambiguously shows Thatcher how worryingly blind he was, how wilfully ignorant. He knew, must’ve known about Lesion, but thought that staying by his side would be enough for the both of them. But it’s not. It never was. In quiet nights alone, it wasn’t, and it wasn’t when he knew Lesion was crashing on his sofa, and it wasn’t throughout the entire last week. He never – never did anything, doesn’t know whether Lesion has. For him it was no more than a restless scratching at the back of his skull.

It’s a long while until Lesion stops trembling, noticeably uncomfortable with this fact but Thatcher doesn’t comment on it, merely holds him close and peppers his hair with kisses. He smells good, despite all, he smells familiar and safe and it calms Thatcher’s racing heart a little.

“I don’t know what to do”, Lesion murmurs and finally rests his head against Thatcher’s shoulder, eyes closed. Thatcher wants to kiss him, hug him tighter, do something but isn’t certain what.

“I don’t either”, he replies, at a loss. “But I don’t think I’m going to say or do what you think I will.”

“Are you sure?”

No, he’s not sure. He has absolutely no idea what he’s doing and this time he can’t blame any alcohol for the almost aggressive emptiness in his mind. “I’ll try”, he offers because while he can’t provide certainty, he can provide this much. Their eyes meet and all his confidence vanishes in an instant, leaves him speechless and frantically searching for more to say because surely, it’s not enough, won’t be enough -

“Okay”, Lesion interrupts his thoughts. “Let’s eat and pack up then.”

And as he pulls away, rises to his feet to squat down a distance away, rummaging in their large backpacks, Thatcher recognises the tone of his voice as defeat. He doesn’t believe Thatcher’s words, doesn’t trust the half-hearted promise one bit and he’s right not to; his repressed grief shows on his face and his movements are aimless, sluggish, at some point he even halts and stares blankly at nothing. It’s not even that he isn’t expecting anything. He’s expecting to receive nothing.

His sun-kissed skin looks warm even from a distance and it’s an impossible task for Thatcher’s mind to link the person before him with the one he kissed the previous evening – he’d embraced him, touched him everywhere he could reach, heard him moan. Made him moan. It’s the same man. The same man with whom he stayed in regular contact for years no matter what, whose necessary silence from time to time felt punishing and whose jubilant messages always brightened his day.

Maybe this will be easier than he feared. He’s in Thatcher’s heart already, he doesn’t even need to let him in deliberately.

“Tze Long”, he says and has no clue how to continue, only knows he needs to get rid of that expression on his face. Fortunately for him, his friend doesn’t turn to him, merely pauses. “Look, I know I’m a shithead and you know it too, and sometimes I don’t think things through or overthink them, and you know me well enough to call me on my bullshite. And I respect that. So do it now.”

Lesion shakes his head, confused, meeting his gaze with a frown. “What do you mean?”

“Call me on it. Tell me no, you’re not convinced I’ll make any sort of effort. Tell me that you think I’ll keep you at arm’s length still, just like I have all this time. Tell me that you don’t expect anything to change, for me to conveniently forget about it all. You’re thinking it, so say it.”

His lips part. He struggles to come up with an answer, eventually wants to know: “Why?”

This is the scary part. Thatcher isn’t proud to admit it but he’s terrified of this, of their entire conversation, of having to deal with any of it. Their friendship was safe and familiar, they’d established a routine and beyond that routine lies chaos, uncertainty, uncharted land. But he dares to step into it. “How else do I get the chance to get upset, deny everything, run away, mull over what you said in private and without telling anyone, then begrudgingly and in a subclause mention that you’re right and set about changing it while pretending it was my idea all along?”

And that does it. Lesion’s stony expression softens, a small smile stealing onto his lips. He’s ready to listen. “You’d change it, would you?”, he asks just to be sure and Thatcher really can’t blame him.

“I would, yes. Because I’d know it’s worth it.” You’re worth it, a voice in his head supplies but isn’t strong enough to make it out of his mouth.

“How about we skip the whole beginning then? Seems a little redundant now.”

“You’re right, yes, let’s. The whole… self-awareness thing probably lessens the effect.”

“It does. So – you don’t actually need any of my input?”

“Well, it’ll definitely be helpful on some issues, I suppose.”

Lesion laughs and though it’s awkward, the sound lifts a weight off Thatcher’s chest. “Good Lord, you’re terrible at this.”

“Listen”, he starts to defend himself sheepishly, “I normally make a point of keeping friends and partners separate.”

“That actually explains a lot.” The backpack, previously half on Lesion’s lap, now lies forgotten next to him and it’s as if their surroundings don’t matter anymore – the bleak sky doesn’t, the cold blinding snow field doesn’t, the mountains don’t. Thatcher erroneously believed that it was Norway itself which provided peace of mind, a place he’d been meaning to visit for decades now but never got around to it, thought that this finally fulfilled wish granted him one of the happiest weeks of his life. Yet he could’ve gone to the Antarctic and possibly felt the same calm – provided he had Lesion by his side.

“Can I ask for a show of good faith?”, his friend requests quietly and adds, when he’s sure he has Thatcher’s attention: “Kiss me.”

He’d lie if he claimed he showed no hesitation, but he overcomes it. Crawling towards the other man, he doesn’t stop once he’s reached him, uses his leverage to push him down into the grass, follows suit and takes the time to mirror his smile. Last night they were in a similar position, Thatcher hovering above him, yet now it’s intentional, eyes locked, in full daylight, thoughts sober. He still wants to run, the urge hasn’t disappeared and neither has his discomfort over leaving himself figuratively naked. But it’s easier to resist now.

They kiss for a long time and it gets less strange with every passing second, morphs from awkward to nice and though it hasn’t yet reached lovely, it’s almost there. Thatcher will have to get used to it, used to all this, re-learn a few things, dust some of it off in his mind and unearth old rituals, bury certain habits. It’ll take time. And fortunately, Lesion is nothing if not patient.

When they break apart, they’re not out of breath, their hearts aren’t racing, there’s no insistent need for more and ever more. Instead, they’ve replaced the sun which so tragically abandoned them this morning by beaming at each other.

“Looks like I have to take back the ‘coward’ ”, Lesion states ambiguously.

“No, the coward was warranted. The liar, too.” Another quick peck. Something tells Thatcher that he’s going to get used to this much quicker than he might expect. “Hopefully you’ll sleep better from now on.”

Lesion doesn’t even seem surprised that Thatcher was aware of the real reason for his restless tossing and turning and merely nods. “Yes. I think we both will.”

#rainbow six siege #thatcher #lesion #thatcher/lesion #fanfic #oneshot #though it's technically set after the tattoo one #also lesion tells him at some point #I lost my socks and my phone #I couldn't stand it if I lost another precious thing #he's the real mvp in this

[elizas-writing]

Last week just wasn’t my week for anything. Work suddenly piled up with deadlines fast approaching, traffic going home was always crap, the sun now sets at 5 fucking 30, and I can’t feel my own lungs because California is on fire again. To make matters even better, my hair fucking dried up too fast, and I overmoisturized in attempting to save it. I left it in a braid for about 3 days cause I just had it, officially.

Is some planet in retrograde which is throwing everything wack or is adulthood finally sinking in? Maybe a bit of both…

But nothing is better to end the week than pay day when you don’t feel too guilty about splurging a little money on materialistic stuff. And what seemed right to throw my hard-earned money at? Lush.

Ever since I began my curly hair journey, I was always curious about Lush’s hair products. I absolutely adore their bath bombs, bubble bars, and shower gels, and their facial cleansers and masks saved my darling skin on many occasions. But I was always hesitant to throw down so much money for their hair products.

I didn’t see a large variety of YouTube reviews from other curly haired folks, much less any which address that most of Lush’s hair products contain sulfates. Sulfates are usually a big no-no for curls as they’re too powerful to already naturally dry hair and scalps. However, they aren’t necessarily the worst thing for your hair. A little bit is okay once in a while if you have a super oily scalp or struggle with product build up. If you still use sulfates, you have to also balance it out with other more-natural products if you want to avoid stripping too much sebum (also if you dye your hair, sulfates are making your color fade faster). While your standard shampoo has liquid sulfates, Lush’s sulfates are powder-based which is less harsh. And because they pack in so many other fresh, natural ingredients into their products, it balances out the otherwise powerful chemicals.

It kinda sucks that even a great company like Lush isn’t exempt from the “check the ingredients” rule, but if you’re ever second guessing on anything, just ask the employees. I made multiple trips for bath bomb restocking and took some extra time to study the hair care and hopefully attract someone’s attention to talk more about the products. I talked to four different employees at the same store, and they all pretty much said the same thing regarding the ingredients (most of the last paragraph is verbatim), and I had no reason to not trust them. I never met a dishonest Lush employee in my life, and they definitely know their shit to make sure you get enough bang for your buck.

So today, along with my hair mask of the week, I’m showing an altered hair routine with some Lush hair products. I won’t do a fully altered routine because that would be far too expensive, and I still feel iffy about a few things, but we’ll get to that when we do.

Don’t let the smell fool you. It is DEFINITELY not toothpaste.

First up, is the Yuge Hot Oil Treatment. This is a pre-shower treatment using heated oils to stimulate blood flow to the scalp which also stimulates hair growth while delivering some much needed moisture. It contains agave syrup, sea salt, jojoba oil, olive oil, spearmint oil, peppermint powder, aaaaaand sodium lauryl sulfate. Yeah, it’s kinda weird that this would have sulfates since it works more like a conditioner, but that’s just how Lush hair products work for some reason.

Despite that, there were no suds whatsoever, and it was super refreshing on my scalp and hair. And it was absolutely fantastic at detangling and moisturizing the dry ends. However, I overestimated how much water I needed to melt the treatment, so the consistency was more water-y than creamy. Also I used hot water right out of a kettle, so it took like 30 minutes to cool down. It still worked wonderfully, but I definitely needed to pay better attention to the instructions.

After leaving in Yuge for 20 minutes, I rinsed it out and shampooed with the Jason and the Argan Oil shampoo bar. As the name suggests, all the ingredients of your typical shampoo are concentrated into a bar without any wasteful packaging, and it lasts anywhere from 60 to 80 washes. It contains argan oil, rose absolute, geranium oil, rose oil, lemon oil, and, you guess it, sodium lauryl sulfate.

Unlike Yuge, the sulfates are far more noticeable in the shampoo bars, and once I rinsed it out, my hair was definitely super squeaky. Thankfully, my hair wasn’t too dried out after air-drying, so again, it’s all a matter of balance and knowing how your hair reacts to certain products. And the smell is absolutely amaze-balls. Rose is one of Lush’s best scents in anything— I happily threw down for the biggest bottle of Rose Jam shower gel once it became a year-round thing—, so I just couldn’t pass up on this shampoo bar. I also have a sample of Godiva which is also supposed to be good for curly hair, so it’ll be fun to compare the results.

Since the hot oil treatment did a hell of a job in detangling, and I was worried about accidentally over-moisturizing again, I skipped my regular conditioner and went straight for the deep condition with a non-Lush product: Love Beauty and Planet’s Blooming Strength and Shine 2 Minute Magic Masque. Given that Lush is all about reducing waste and using the freshest and most natural ingredients, it felt appropriate to use a hair mask from another company with similar values (also I was already breaking the bank with my Lush run and couldn’t bring myself to buy their masks).

Doesn’t it look so damn CUTE?

Love Beauty and Planet is all about making consumers look good while doing good for the environment. All their bottles are 100% recyclable, and they’re committed to reducing their carbon footprint by using sustainable ingredients. They still have a way to go, particularly since their shampoos still contain sulfates, but it’s super cool to see a company commit to sustainability while delivering reasonably priced products in the cutest packaging.

In any case, this is the brand’s only mask which contains rose extract, coconut oil, murumuru butter and sunflower seed oil. I was worried with the small packaging that it wouldn’t be enough to coat my hair, but it was suprisingly just the perfect amount for a mask. I didn’t have too many tangles left after Yuge, so the mask just melted right through. The smell is a little perfume-y at first, but after a while, the rose scent is quite pleasant. And it has the rich, buttery consistency I love in a mask.

I accidentally left it in for almost an hour (cause that just happens when 3 people share one bathroom). There really is no reason to leave a mask in for more than 30 minutes since after a while, the product just sits on your head doing nothing. Thankfully, it didn’t weigh down my hair, and the mask was easy to rinse out once I finally stepped back into the shower.

So good, I threw down $50 for the larger size

For my leave-in conditioner, I used Lush’s R&B Hair Moisturizer. It contains oat milk, avocado butter, olive oil, jojoba oil, coconut oil, orange flower absolute, jasmine absolute, and cupuacu butter. I actually used this before as this is my sister’s favorite hair moisturizer, but it’s been a while since she got any since her haircut a couple years ago. Even though it’s expensive as hell, I don’t mind using it daily as it’s one of the few leave-ins I tried which doesn’t weigh down my hair.

Like most Lush products, a little goes a very long way, and R&B is incredibly thick. I only need maybe a quarter-sized amount on my fingertips to refresh my hair for the day. Jasmine is another one of Lush’s great scents I just can’t get enough of, and it’s wonderful to catch the scent when I turn my head. If you have the spare money to treat yourself on any moisturizer, let it be this one, regardless if you have curls. Your hair will thank you.

I forgot to take a before picture, but I guarantee I looked like a greaseball who needed fucking Moses himself to deliver my hair to salvation. But you can still see the after of my altered routine with a mix of Lush products!

I noticed most of Lush’s hair care are heavily focused in moisture, so it made my hair really soft. Thankfully, some Curls Blueberry Bliss gel was enough to hold the new curls in place. There’s definitely more frizz than usual since I skipped my regular conditioner, and it increased over the next couple days. But the R&B moisturizer is perfect on a daily use to refresh and bring my curls back to life without too much buildup.

Aside from R&B, I won’t use Lush products every wash day since it’s more sulfates than I’m used to, and it’s super expensive. Thankfully, these do last a while, so I don’t mind using them whenever my hair feels super oily. And despite the sulfates, they don’t make my hair feel as dried out as I expected. If you’re ever curious on Lush hair care and have the money to spare, I totally recommend hitting up the closest store and chatting with the employees to get an idea of what will work best for you. Just remember that a little goes a long way and pay extra attention to the instruction videos on their YouTube channel to achieve the best results, and it’ll definitely be worth the money.

Lush Hair Care Review: Worth the Hype? Last week just wasn't my week for anything. Work suddenly piled up with deadlines fast approaching, traffic going home was always crap, the sun now sets at 5 fucking 30, and I can't feel my own lungs because California is on fire again.

#argan oil #Beauty #beauty products #cruelty free #hair #Hair Care #hair care routine #hair mask #hair moisturizer #hot oil treatment #lush #moisture #natural #product #product review #products #review #shampoo #shampoo bar #vegan

[rosie-reads-a-lot]

Don’t Float Away (Pennywise x Reader)

Whew, I wrote this in a post-drunken stupor so I will definitely be going back to edit here and there. The story is progressing pretty slowly but I’m kinda just letting the chips fall where they may. Writing this helps me cope with City Hall being over *internally cries*

PART 1: HERE.

PART 2:

Your quality of sleep didn’t improve after meeting Pennywise the Dancing Clown, rather it regressed even further. You couldn’t get that voice out of your head. Those eyes. Those teeth. All of those teeth. It wasn’t fear that consumed you, but…purpose. For the first time in a very long time, you didn’t have all the answers. You couldn’t see what was coming. You were excited to wake up in the morning because you weren’t sure what the day would bring. It was like you had reverted back to being a child and honestly, it was refreshing. The only fact you were sure of was that this thing was not human. Human monsters were so predictable.

Your days were consumed with sifting through all the information on the history of Derry and the surrounding area that you could find online. You cross-referenced that with any mention of the dancing clown and found nothing. You spent most nights staring out of your bedroom window at the road. Naturally, your room sat directly in front of a storm drain. You swore every now and then you’d hear the faintest carnival music playing or a distant giggle. The bags you held under your eyes turned blue. Your foster mother, Diane, quickly noticed. You observed one morning that she passed by your door three times with an empty laundry basket trying to work up the courage to come in and say something. She finally did. Two quick knocks at your door forced you to put your book down and look up in mock surprise. “Yes?” She shuffled unsure of herself and tucked her messy brown hair behind her ear anxiously. “Hey (Y/N), sweetie, can we talk?” You slid over and patted the spot on the bed you had just occupied. “Of course. What’s up?” She set her basket down and sat- very stiffly- next to you. “I’ve just noticed that you’ve had a hard last couple of weeks. Is there anything I can do to make it easier on you?” She asked hopefully. Great, now your weird sewer clown obsession was affecting those around you. “No, you’ve been great. I’m so, so grateful for everything you’ve done for me. It’s just…been a hell of a year honestly. Plus…everyone here looks at me like I have a third eye in the middle of my forehead.” She nodded her head knowingly, chuckling. “Yeah, people around here are kind of set in their ways. I remember how I felt when I first moved here. It was like at any time I’d step out my front door to see an angry mob with pitchforks.”

You shifted your weight awkwardly. “Angry villagers I can deal with. Just as long as nothing is living in the sewers.” The change on Diane’s face was instantaneous. Her sweet face was suddenly contorted in an emotion that you couldn’t place. “Why would you say that, have the kids in the neighborhood been telling you stories?” She asked, almost frantically. You shook your head and attempted a carefree smile. “N-no, I was just joking. Little towns like this have a certain reputation I guess. There’s always something in the water.” “Well, there’s nothing in these waters but hazardous waste. Playing in the sewers can get you very, very sick. When I was a little younger than you some smaller kids used to go and play around in the wetlands where the sewers deposit out. Their immune systems didn’t stand a chance against the gray water. They must of went into shock so fast. By the time they found their bodies the animals had already gotten to them.” Blood had flooded directly to her head during her rant making her face beet red. Like Pennywise’s balloons. You click your tongue in a faux-sad manner. “I guess I can’t go dance naked in the pale moonlight up and down the sewers like I used to.” “No, better not. You’re a good girl, (Y/N). Stay away from the sewers. And give Derry a chance. It may grow on you.” She rubbed your shoulder maternally before standing up and moving towards the door. 

“Yeah, like mold.” You mumbled.

“What was that?” She half-turned in the doorway with a smirk. “So I’m told.” You corrected, a little louder. “Uh-huh. I have some muffins downstairs if you want.” “Thanks. I’ll be down in a sec.” You stood up and walked over to your desk that was littered with college pamphlets and Derry High registration papers. Next month you would be 20 years old. Last year had been by far the worst year of your life and school had been the last thing on your mind. Sure, you probably could’ve been tested out of the 12th grade and applied for your GED, but Diane had agreed with your choice to enroll at Derry High. She thought that you ‘deserved to be a kid for one more year’.

  If you were being honest, you were just so damned tired. You didn’t even want to think about college yet. You would start high school 2.0 in exactly three days. You resolved that in those three days you would learn as much about Derry’s past, about him, as you could. To do that you needed to gain the locals’ trust. They needed to see a friendly face. You bounced down the stairs and grabbed a blueberry muffin from the counter before calling out your departure for the library to Diane. It wasn’t a lie…you would eventually visit the library. But your first destination was the pharmacy. 

   You knew your hairstylist from back home would kill you if she could see you right now. You stood in front of a very limited row of boxed hair dye. Your natural color was fairly common so there wasn’t much deliberation to be had on that front. You grabbed two boxes and paid for your basket before stuffing them in your backpack. You stopped at the library, first barricading yourself in the ancient bathroom to dye your hair back to its natural color and then to pick up a few books to help start your research before making a beeline for your neighborhood.

 You had an old baseball hat on to hide all of your newly dyed hair from Diane. You didn’t need the thousands of questions from her that you would inevitably receive anyway. Not right now. Your backpack was full of the other supplies you had picked up from the pharmacy, so your arms were wrapped tightly around the old texts. Before you had even made it to Neibolt Street you felt them on you. Glowing blue eyes.

Those blue eyes.

 You looked up over your armload and scanned from side to side to try to locate them. He was standing on the sidewalk across the street holding up a red balloon, it suddenly occurred to you that maybe you were going crazy and he was actually a hallucination as you had first suspected. Surely someone would notice a giant ginger clown around town. He was staring at you from under his brows and smiling sinisterly. You stopped your shuffle, smiled politely in recognition, nodded your head towards your house and kept walking hoping he would understand your gesture. You swore you heard him audibly gasp. You wished you could have seen his reaction, but you continued trotting along…albeit a little more cautiously now. You looked back and noticed he was no longer behind you, so you hurried home and vaulted passed Diane who was asking you if you wanted to go school supply shopping.

“No ma'am, I was so excited that I picked up a few things from town after I left the library. Thank you though!” Was your breathless reply. Satisfied with your answer she left you alone. You stopped at your bedroom door and took a deep breath. Stepping inside delicately, you set your books and bag on the bed before surveying the room as nonchalantly as you possibly could. “You can come out now.” You called out bravely. You sounded a lot braver than you felt.

No sooner than the words left your mouth did you become aware of a rather large presence standing behind you. You turned on your heel and sat stiffly on your comforter drinking in the sight of him. He was big. Very, very big. His giant mouth that was pulled into a toothy grin was basically spewing drool. His limbs were long and wrapped in cream colored satin which was kind of a weird paradox. He was this big, ‘scary’ thing wrapped in delicate satin. His hair, you noticed, was much wilder than at first glance. His overall appearance was…unsettling, but not frightening.  “Hiya.” You said, mirroring your first meeting. Pennywise frowned, obviously disappointed. He shook his head frantically and suddenly lunged at you grabbing your neck, easily wrapping one massive hand around your throat with a snarl. You sat as still as a statue with both eyes trained on him. You two remained there for a while with eyes locked, the only sounds filling the room being your ragged breathing and his growls. You broke the silence. “Are you real?” Your voice feeble. His attitude changed almost immediately, blue eyes flashing yellow. “Am I real? Hmmmm…..I don’t know, (Y/N). Do I feeeeeeel real?” He spat. His hand on your neck tightened abruptly cutting off your air supply. He used his free hand to pinch your cheek harshly and in the process accidentally knocked off your baseball hat. Your new hair color spilled out of the cap and onto your shoulders. His hand fell from around your throat forcing you to fall back onto your headboard. He stared at you in amazement and began to stroke your hair. “Your hair….it’s not cotton candy anymore….” His face was full of wonder and his eyes thankfully shifted to blue once again. “I changed it back to the color I was born with. The reason I did it is silly.” You smiled sheepishly. When you heard no reply you looked up and found his dark gaze. You were seduced by the implausibility of the situation and suddenly felt word vomit coming on. "I wanted to learn more about you and what you are. That’s why I have all of these old books on Derry. I was going to go and interview some locals, but the people around here didn’t really like my pink hair. It’s a lot easier to just conform.“ You laughed breathlessly even though nothing funny had been said. If having a 6’ 4” demon clown in your bedroom was strange, his reply was fucking unusual. “You could have just asked me.” ‘You could have just asked me’ like it was the most obvious fucking thing you should have done.

You snorted, he growled. You put your hands up in apology before speaking. “This…is….an odd situation. I wasn’t sure if I was going crazy. Now I can’t tell if you are friend or foe.” You said warily. 

He crouched down alongside your bed so that your face and his face were inches away. The scent of deep-fried foods and sweet summer air washed over you. “You’re close, but not quite.” A deep rumble passed through his chest, you weren’t sure if it was a growl or a purr.

“What?” You asked, eyes focused on the way he curled his lower lip out further than the top one.

His lips were so close to your ear that you shivered involuntarily. “Friend or food is the question.” He flashed his teeth.

You gasped. The room fell dangerously silent until you heard Diane’s approaching footsteps and panic set in. You turned to Pennywise to ask him to hide, but he was already gone. 

Your bedroom door swung open and Diane popped her head in. “Hey, sorry - but are you okay? I thought I heard arguing. I wanted to make sure you were okay.”

You nod your head trying to clear your senses. “Yeah, I was just going through some dialogue in this play I just read. I want to start a drama club this year. I guess I got too into it. Sorry.” You apologized sheepishly.

She looked relieved. “No, don’t worry about it. That sounds awesome! By the way, I love the hair.” Sensing you wanted privacy she bid you goodnight and shut the door. 

You hopped up immediately and began searching the room for Pennywise. There weren’t very many places someone over 6’ could hide in the room so you checked the bathroom and under your bed before sighing disappointedly. Then you remembered you hadn’t unpacked the boxes in your closet yet so there was standing space. You opened the door to reveal not Pennywise, but another red balloon. You pulled it out of the dark closet into your room allowing daylight to wash over it. You would be lying if you said you weren’t kind of excited after reading the message hastily written on it. 

Next time: my place

#pennywise x reader #pennywise imagine #pennywise smut #pennywise is sexy asf #pennywise is daddy #daddywise

[canaryatlaw]

so, as you could probably guess, today was WILD, and man am I ready to pass out now. It overall could’ve been worse though, I was worried I’d go into this really weird state that happens when I’m severely sleep deprived where everything seems like a hyper reality- kind of hard to describe, but like everything is too loud, too bright, too close, and it’s really disorienting and I do not like it at all, so I’m very glad I was able to avoid that. But yeah, as you could probably gather from my earlier posts today, I got not a single wink of sleep last night (literally, not even a minute) because I didn’t have any Xanax and my body has decided that apparently I need that to sleep now (lovely). I ended up getting out of bed around 8, made blueberry pancakes because why not, and watched the new episode of the gifted since I had nothing better to do. really good episode, loving the show so far. The dad bailing out of the van because he realized he couldn't betray these people who were helping his family was like, straight in the feels, man. good stuff. a little after that I went to my PT appointment, which had the potential to be tricky, because the only time I could get was 11:30 and I have to be downtown for class at 1, and it’s an hour appointment. but we made it work and I got out a few minutes early, and was able to make it to class (thanks to uber) with five minutes to spare. I ended up getting cold called in bus orgs, which was less than ideal because I was of course not in the best mental state, but the good news was it was at least one of the cases I actually did read, being that I didn't read a number of them this week. I think I did pretty decent in answering questions, and got at least one compliment from a classmate later on it, so that was good. After class I stopped briefly at the PAD office before heading down to Target to drop off my Xanax prescription. They said it would take about half an hour to fill (it was 3:05 at this point) so I went to Sally’s which was right there since I needed to buy more hair dye, then ended up going into the DSW that’s right there because I of course really need boots as well. I looked and looked, but just couldn't find ones that felt right to me, so I left there empty handed. I ended up going back to Target and checking out their selection, only to find a single pair of the boots I bought last year and absolutely love, but now have a broken zipper so I can’t wear them anymore- and look, they’re my size. I was very pleased because they are my perfect black combat boots that I loooooove and I’m now very happy I didn’t settle for anything else. So I bought those, then grabbed my prescription, then headed back down to the dentist for my 4 pm appointment. This was to get the permanent crown placed now that it had been shipped in from the lab where they make these things. I kind of hate going to the dentist, but I just wanted to get it over with, and it was mostly fine. I just hate my mouth and tongue feeling numb afterwards and how long it takes to wear off. But I left there around 5, and went to the salad place across the street from school for some dinner because I once again left my lunch box in the fridge like a fucking five year old. Got that, headed to the PAD office and chilled out for a bit before heading up to legal profession. The numbness took forever to wear off, but i eventually was able to eat the wrap I had gotten for dinner. I tuned out most of the lecture (whoops) but I was looking at MPRE study materials for a good amount of the time, so I can be happy with that, especially since the test is like, 2 1/2 weeks away (yikes). After what seemed like forever the class let out, and I dashed home as quick as I could so I could watch Legends. I’ll keep my thoughts somewhat abbreviated because I’m tired AF and want to go to bed. Good episode, thoroughly enjoyable on all counts. Sara of course shown as an awesome leader through all of the plot. If they continue where they were going with her and Agent Sharpe’s relationship I can see it becoming romantic, and I’d be open to it if they continue in the direction we saw tonight. I like that Amaya is getting a storyline struggle beyond having to fulfill her destiny for the sake of her children and grandchildren. Some really sweet Nate and Amaya moments, and I don’t really ship them, it was just precious. Ray and Nate are a bunch of idiots though, and of course they made everything worse. But yeah, liked it a lot. I decided to watch the flash afterwards, which was also an excellent episode, definitely the best WestAllen episode to date because omg, they were soooo so perfect in it, like can’t even touch me beyond perfect. there were so many great moments between them, and how that eventually led to them taking down the bad guy. So yeah, liked it a lot. then I got ready for bed and here we are, did I mention I’m really fucking tired because I’ve been up for approximately 35 hours straight? Yeah, I’m going to bed now. Goodnight my loves. sleep well (much better than I have been). 

#daily journal #October 2017

[mollydeemusic]

Okay I didn't tell that many people I was doing this just in case anything went wrong, because I have definitely messed up my hair in the past. But after being inspired by so many @bradmondonyc and @gooddyeyoung posts, I ordered blue hair dye on a whim one night when I probably should have been sleeping. After that I remembered that I have no idea how to color hair and that it could totally come out awful. So I did something that made me realize how much I've grown up since the last time I colored my hair; I took my time (though to be fair had no choice but to wait since I had like a week before the dye would arrive from Sally's) and did as much research as I could which largely included binge-watching hair-coloring videos. The fail videos are my favorites. So entertaining yet educational. This change doesn't feel drastic. On the contrary, it feels like it was drastically needed. It feels like I just dyed my hair back to its natural color. I'm glad I did a decent job. It's not patchy or uneven, at least as far as I can tell. I was thorough af! Sorry that this is an awfully long description. It's just that dying my hair was a very special (and extremely difficult) project and I can't even tell you how much thought has gone into this over the past week. My boyfriend has blue eyes and now I have blue hair so together we are blueberries. I feel so bluetiful. I'm so happy to be #blue 😊 (insert 17 more puns about the color blue) Products used: Lightening kit - #gooddyeyoung Roots - #punkycolor in ebony Middle - #gooddyeyoungblueruin Ends - #gooddyeyoungnarwhal Music - #BlueWindow by #Jef (at New Jersey) https://www.instagram.com/p/B0JmPa8gu3L/?igshid=1maayvnmsyu39

#blue #gooddyeyoung #punkycolor #gooddyeyoungblueruin #gooddyeyoungnarwhal #bluewindow #jef

[officialvalbarnes]

Why Does My Dog Have a Soft Coat? | ThatDogBrownie Q&A

Hey guys! Usually, I talk about all things food and kitchen related, but today I stop the usual programming with a post all about my dog, Brownie. If you guys didn’t know, I have a dog and she’s a Border Collie Mix. I’ve talked about her on the blog before and she actually has her own Instagram account (which you need to go and follow her). Hehe! Anyway, on her Instagram and in person she always gets comments/questions about her nice coat, her teeth, her diet, etc. Today, I thought I would answer some of them on the blog. If you guys want me to do more pet content, let me know in the comments below, sharing this post with everyone you know, and subscribing to the blog. 

1. What do you feed her for her main meal or meals?

The majority of the time she eats Freshpet. My mom and I love Freshpet because their dog food is made in the USA. It’s not like it’s made in some foreign country. Also, their food has an ingredients list that is clean and isn’t super long. It doesn’t have hard to pronounce ingredients in it. It has known ingredients in it like carrots, rice, eggs, chicken, etc. She eats their wet food and dry food. For special occasions, I may prepare some boiled chicken for her with some of her favorite vegetables. 

2. What snacks/treats do you feed her?

I feed her snacks like fresh apple slices, fresh cantaloupe, fresh strawberry slices, fresh blueberries, and sliced baby carrots. For all her food in general, I try to make sure she’s eating stuff that’s going to help better her on the inside and out. My mom and I don’t just let her eat just anything. We triple check to make sure she can have it and research health benefits of the foods she is eating.

3. How do you keep her coat so shiny and soft? 

I get this question so much in comments on her Instagram and in person. Haha! She always gets compliments on her coat and how soft it is. Her coat literally feels like a blanket you don’t want to take off like I would take a nap on her if I wasn’t low key allergic to her. Haha. I would say she gets her shiny and soft coat from her diet and the shampoo she uses, but I’ll talk about more about the shampoo she uses when I talk about her grooming/wash routine. 

4. How do you keep her teeth looking white? 

Her teeth look white to the point where people legit ask me if I brush her teeth. Like seriously, ain’t nobody got time for that. Like I love Brownie and all, she’s a nice pup, but nope. Haha. I used to sprinkle this dental mix from Freshpet over food. I say used to because we can’t find the mix in stores anymore and apparently the product was discontinued and it honestly broke our hearts like I’m not even joking. We also just feed her old fashion carrots and apple slices because those foods will scrape food off of dog’s teeth. Plus, carrots serve as an antioxidant to help prevent disease and any infections. 

5. Is your dog a pescatarian as well?

No, she’s not a pescatarian. I thought about making her a pescatarian/Pesco-Ovo vegetarian like myself. After I did an insane amount of research, I found out that getting protein from a source like chicken is vital to a dog’s diet. Chicken and turkey are the only meats that she eats. She also eats fish. She doesn’t do the whole beef, duck, lamb situation and I don’t plan on ever having her eat that stuff. Red meat isn’t good for humans so why would I feed my dog that? In the words of Michael Kyle, ahhh nah. 

5. What do you use to wash her? What’s her cleaning routine? 

I usually am the one that washes her, but I also take her to the groomers too because ain’t nobody got time to cut their dog’s nails too short or try to be Ms. Fix It. I’ve realized in life that for some things, you just don’t mess with. You just got to step back and let the professionals do it. When I wash her, I use both regular shampoo or waterless shampoo. Waterless shampoo is a great alternative for dogs that may be afraid of water. Even though she’s not afraid of water and actually loves water, I still like using it because it makes my life 1000x easier. I’m just being honest. Gotta keep it real! All I have to say is that the invention of waterless shampoo is amazing like I don’t know who to thank but I want to thank them in person. Haha! Even when it comes to shampoo, I check the ingredients because I don’t want her fur to get dried out or for her to get a skin condition or something. Like you guys might think I’m a tad bit crazy, but like Brownie’s over here chilling because she’s Brownie with the good hair soooo….haha! 

Anyway, for waterless shampoo my favorite brand is Wahl. Our experience with their waterless shampoo has been great and I definitely recommend checking them out. You can get their products at like Walmart or Target. There are probably other places, but I know for sure you can get it from those places. For regular shampoo, she uses Oster’s Oatmeal Naturals products. Can we just digest the fact that Oster has an animal care line, like what? We actually have an Oster toaster oven at home and now there are over here making dog shampoo? Not mad at them, just really really really confused to be honest. Haha! I specifically love their Oatmeal Naturals shampoos because they are pH balanced and are enriched with oatmeal and other wholesome ingredients. Plus, the ingredients are 100% free of dyes, parabens, phthalates, and alcohol.

6. How do you get her to stay still during wash time? 

Like I mentioned earlier, my dog loves water and actually enjoys the process of getting washed. It may have to do with her breed, I have no idea. But I will say say that washing her is one of the most hilarious things I have ever seen. Like she will start sitting up, but as time goes on she will start to slide down on her stomach and just let me wash her. My mother says that Brownie likes when I wash her because I kind of give her a massage, but who knows the secret? Not me, you’ll have to ask Brownie. Haha!   

That wraps today’s Brownie Q&A/Questions About My Dog Brownie. Like I said, if you guys want me to do more pet content on my blog, let me know in the comments below! I hope that you guys enjoyed the post & hopefully it will help you if you have a pup. I’ll see you guys in my next post! Bye :)

#dog #dogs #puppy #puppylove #puppies #border collie #border collie mix #mixed dogs #lifestyle #questions #questions and answers #question #dog coat #dog food

[suckitsurveys]

how do you typically introduce yourself in online settings? It’s been a hot minute since I’ve “introduced” myself to anyone online. what do you think will bring on the end of the world? nuclear war, global warming, black hole, etc. Global warming. do you believe in the death penalty? No. have you ever done role play? Yeah.

have you ever/would you ever do anal? I would give it a try.

what’s more important- length or width? why? Width. do you talk dirty during sex? Sometimes. what was your first orgasm like? Nice? I don’t know, I don’t even remember when the first one was. do you own any hair extensions from hot topic? Nope. 7-11, sheetz, wawa, or starbucks? I only know 7-11 and Starbucks. what do you want to name your kids? I am not having kids. do you personally know any authors? No. kissed someone within a day of having a bf/gf? Like, that person? I’ve kissed a boyfriend within a day of getting together? have you ever kept it a secret from someone that you liked them? No. have you ever finished an entire jaw breaker? Yes. is there anyone you would date on your facebook friend list? I’m married to one of them. ever been swimming in a lake or river? Both. first time you kissed the last person you kissed? July 24, 2011. have you ever broken someone’s heart? Yes. ever had a near death experience? Nah. when was the last time you held someone’s hand? Yesterday. can you play guitar hero? Haven’t played in years. who is someone you know that can play the piano well? My father. who is the best dancer you know? I don’t know. have you ever not been able to get someone out of your head? Yeah. do you know your neighbors? I know the ones directly above us pretty well.

how do you feel about interracial couples? What a shitty question. what restaurant do you think has the best french fries? Parkey’s. who’s your best guy friend? My husband and Randal. do you like fruit roll ups? I do. what’s the worse type of weather in your opinion? Probably like a hurricane or something. do you have a kindle or ipad or neither? Neither. growing up, did you see your cousins often? Yes. around what time do you usually eat dinner? 7-8pm. do you like carrots more if they’re raw, or cooked? Either. did you play with legos as a kid? I did. which bothers you more… spelling mistakes or bad grammar? I don’t care. is there a food that you love the taste of, but makes you feel sick? Nope. which did you discover first, myspace or facebook? MySpace, since it was around first. have you ever turned to drinking or smoking to solve a problem? Drinking, yeah. if you HAD to get a piercing (not ears) what would you get? Maybe my nose again? The other nostril? what do you wish you had more knowledge about? A lot of things. have you ever dealt with a divorce or parents fighting or any kind of abuse at home? My dad and mom fought sometimes. do you drink more apple or orange juice? Out of the two, probably apple. But I don’t drink juice too often.

do you think relationships are hard? They shouldn’t be hard. If it’s hard, then don’t be in it. Of course you’ll go through some shit that is hard, but the relationship itself should never be. what is your favorite pop-tart flavor? Brown sugar. ever had the ‘birds and the bees’ talk with your parents? I don’t think so actually. do you think you have to be skinny in order to be beautiful? That’s a load of shit. would you ever get gauged ears? Nah. have you ever been in a school talent show? what for? Nope.

have you ever dated someone you met online? Hello I married him. are you a competitive person? Not really. I can be, but not usually. do you believe in aliens? Nah.

do you like dancing? Sure. I am not good at it, though. where are you from? Chicago. how much more social are you when you’re drunk? About the same. if you had to be named after one of the 50 states, which would it be? Nevada would be a pretty name. what’s your favorite form of exercise? Swimming. do you like guacamole? I love ittttt. do you consider yourself sexually open minded? Yeah.

how do you feel about porn? To each their own. who was your hottest ex? I’m good. do you want/have kids? I do not and will not. has anyone ever told you that they wanted to marry you? Clearly. do/did you have to wear a uniform to your high school? Nope. what’s your favorite flavor of iced tea? peach or mango. have you ever been to a casino? if so, which one(s)? Yeah. Rivers Casino ins Des Plains, IL,and Ameristar in Hammond, IN. do you love or hate olives? Love green and black ones, hate greek ones. have you ever visited a sex shop? Yes. do you like the name cindy for a girl? It’s okay. how many sets of keys do you have for your house? I have one, Mark has one, and my dad had one. do you know anyone who has parkinson’s disease? No. how many cousins do you have? what are their names? I have 4 first cousins. My dad’s sister’s son Joey, my mom’s sister’s daughter Kelly, and my mom’s brother’s sons Jerry and Sean. I have like 700000 second cousins and whatnot so I’m not going to name them all. have you ever ridden a bicycle through a busy city? Yes. do you use instagram? how often do you post there? I do. At least once a week what’s your favorite brand of beer? Corona or Blue Moon. do you like writing? how often do you write? I don’t like writing. what’s your favorite place to get pizza? I am from Chicago so there are three answers to this question. For thin crust: Marie’s. For deep dish: Lou Malnati’s. For pan: Jet’s. has there ever been a fire inside your house? tell me the story. No. have you ever had a scary encounter with a wild animal? A skunk was chillin’ on my porch one night when I came home from school and I had to scare it away without getting sprayed. how many piercings do you have? Five. do you own any sports bras? where’d you get them from? No but I should invest in one. what’s the most expensive restaurant you’ve ever eaten at? Field’s in the Wisconsin Dells. who was the last person to tell you that you were beautiful/cute/good-looking? are you attracted to that person too? My husband, and yes. has anyone ever called you stuck-up? Not to my face. when is the next birthday in your household and whose is it? My mother’s. January 28th. what color are your father’s eyes? Light green. in winter, would you rather wear a jacket or hoodie? I usually wear both. have you ever voluntarily read the bible? Nope. how much is gas where you live? Too much. do you have any gay friends? Yes. do you like the state you live in? It’s familir. who is your favorite person to watch on youtube? grav3yardgirl. how often would you say you take naps? Almost never. have you ever played bejeweled? No. does your mom have a facebook? No but my dad does. have you ever been bitten by a rat? Nope. why do you not wash off your makeup on some nights? Lazy. does blueberry syrup sound good to you, right now? Actually yeah. I’ve been craving pancakes lately. did you get lucky on prom night? Nope. have you ever fallen for your ex’s best friend? Nah. last song you had stuck in your head? Fucking TSwift. did you ever spill something and actually cry over it? Yes. do you think that everyone is capable of love? Sure, but not everyone wants it. do you believe in astrology? Astrology exists, yes. if you had to wear a hat for the rest of your life, what would it be? No thanks. would you rather have a musical alarm clock or a regular one? Regular. when you were little, what was your favorite game? Sorry! do you prefer to wrap gifts or use gift bags? Both. I love wrapping but sometimes things just need a gift bag. do you own a trenchcoat? Nope. are you currently in a smoking environment? No. if a stranger smiles at you, do you smile back? Yes. have you ever known a guy who caused a lot of drama? Yeah. have you ever taken care of a drunk friend? Yes. what’s your opinion on people who go hunting for sport? Gross. have you ever gone in a sauna? I have. I just realized the other day I haven’t seen one in a really long time. They used to be in like every hotel. out of these colors, which appeals most to you: orange, blue, or green? Blue. do you believe in finders keepers in most situations? I mean, sometimes, sure. has anyone in your family fought in any of the wars? Maybe. would you make any changes to your current bedroom? I’m fine with it now. what animal have you always wanted as a pet but couldn’t have? Panda. do you own many pairs of shorts? Yes. is there a certain song you like to head bang to? No. who was or will be the maid of honor/best man in your wedding? I didn’t have one. what is your favorite lunch meat? Turkey. do you still have your tonsils? I do. red or pink? Both. do you have a special talent? Nah. where were you born? Chicago, IL, USA. do you own any clothes you wouldn’t wear in front of your mother? No. what do you think the hardest part of surviving is?   Everything? do you know anyone with a lazy eye? Yes. can you remember your parents’ birthdays? Of course. what piercing do you like most on the opposite sex? I don’t. what brand of hair dye do you prefer to use? Privana. are you any good at applying make up? Nope. are you currently wearing any hair accessories? which ones? A hair tie and some hair clips to keep my bun in place. do you like potato chips? Yes. gold or silver? Either. is there an animal that creeps you out? Certain bugs. have you ever seen northern lights? Nope. do your parents smoke? My mother did. is your favorite animal endangered? Pandas most definitely are. Bats and kitties probably not. how old is your best friend? Various ages. if there was a large spider in your room, would you stay in the room? Yeah. what color is your cell phone? A light metallic purple with a silver glitter phone case. do you take vitamins daily? I do. what’s one thing you hate about your best friend? Eh. be honest: do you illegally download music? I have. what’s the worst crime someone can commit? Rape. you’re painting your room. what color do you choose? Depends. I’d probably choose something that goes with pieces I already own. what dog breed is the cutest ever? Rotties. are cherries delicious? Yeah. have you ever experienced a tornado? Yes. how about a flood? Yes. do you or have you ever owned a pair of light up shoes? As a kid. I want a pair that fit me again so bad. what is a current goal you’re trying to achieve? Lose weight. is there something that you thought you would’ve outgrown/gotten over by now, but haven’t? I can’t think of anything. how often do you “draw a blank” mentally? Often. have you ever played the sims?   Once or twice. is your current hair color your natural hair color?   Nope. can you run a mile in under 7 minutes?   Nope. do you have your license?   Yes. have you ever sleep walked?   Nope. where was your first job?   A cafe. do you remember your second grade teacher’s name?   Mrs. Yamanaka. what do you like on your sundaes?   Caramel and nuts. have you been blessed with the ability to cook and/or bake?   I mean, I have the ability. I’m just not very good.

have you gained more than 5 lbs within the past year?   Lost.

do you want kids at some point?   Never. are you lactose intolerant?   Nope. do you believe in abstaining from sex until marriage?   Nope. what is your sexual orientation?   ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ have you ever bought clothing online?   Yes. do you think shakespeare is difficult to read?   Sometimes. do you play solitaire in the computer?   No so much anymore. have you ever received nude pictures from someone?   Yeah. admit it: you had a neopets account.   I didn’t. is there a pet in the room with you right now?   I wish. how weight conscious are you?   I am very conscious that my weight is there. is there anyone else with you right now?   Yeah. have you ever been accused of cheating?   Yeah. have you ever taken a train?   Yup. is being thin really all that great?   I wouldn’t know. have you ever been to a night club?   Yes. does any accent annoy you?   No. what’s worse: crocs or uggs?   Crocs. I actually don’t mind uggs. I have some knock-of black ones.  do you feel awkward when a stranger sits next to you?   Yes. do you have any taylor swift songs on your ipod?   I do. Some are just so catchy even if she is a terrible person. do you want your tongue or belly button pierced?   No. do you hate it when people smoke around you?   Yeah. what is your blood-type?   I have no clue. are you donating your organs?   Yes. do you sleep on your side, stomach or back?   Stomach or side. have you ever been a fan of ‘n sync?   Yes. do you know anyone that has/had cancer?   Yes. were you a big jump roper back in the day?   Nope. has a boy/girl ever cheated on their boyfriend/girlfriend for you?   Yeah oops. do you like chinese food?   I have to be in the mood for it, but yes! do long distance relationships work?   Of course. how do you like your eggs?   Omlette. mcdonald’s or burger king?   McDonald’s.

#surveys

[toomanysurveys9]

A! Do you drink Alcohol frequently? not anymore. i haven’t had a sip of alcohol since early july 2016. i will eventually drink again on occasion probably, but never like i used to. What Age are you? 24. Do you like Apples? yeah, they’re pretty good. Do you believe in Aliens? i mean... not in the sense of science fiction movies. but i’m not sure i’m comfortable saying with 100% certainty that we are the only life in the entire universe when there is so much we’ll likely never see/discover. Who is your favourite Actor/Actress? misha, jensen, and jared from supernatural.

B! Do you like The Fresh Prince of Bel Air? i used to watch it a lot..

Were you ever scared about getting Bats stuck in your hair? no... should i be? Are you always the Banker when you play Monopoly? not always, depends who i play with.

Do you like going to the Beach? yeah, usually. it’ll be better next year when wy can enjoy it too. Who do you think is the most Beautiful person in the world? my mom and sisters. C! Do you like Cats? i definitely do. Are you Charismatic? i don’t think a single person would describe me as charismatic. Do you like laying down to look at the Clouds? i don’t do that really since i’m older... Are you a pro at Checkers? definitely not. Has someone ever called you Cheap? nope. D! Are you more of a Dog person? maybe a little, but i do love cats. Do you like Disney films? love them. i’m going to watch them with wy. Do you still Decorate the house for holidays? not really my house, although i might this year with wy... depends where we are staying. Do you have a Dressing gown? no... Do you think Dinosaurs are awesome? i do love dinosaurs... i’m weird. E! Have you ever ran up the down Escalator? Or ran down the up one? maybe when i was younger. What did you Eat last? soft taco. What’s the most Expensive gift you’ve ever received? probably my laptop... How do you like your Eggs? i usually eat them scrambled. Have you ever been so angry you thought you might Explode? yeah. not often, and takes a lot, but yes. F! Would you ever want to be Famous? i’d love to be a singer but fame would suck major balls. Do you think you’re Funny? not generally. Are Flashing lights fun? i don’t generally think they are fun... When was the last time you Flew in a plane? yeeears ago. i don’t remember when exactly... Has a Folding chair ever un-folded and squished you while you were on it? no.that’d suck. G! Did you ever wear Glasses, even though you didn`t need them? no.. Have you ever eaten Glue? no, gross. Do you Give to charity? when i can.... that is not often right now.

Do you think Goats are cute? yeah. H! When was the last time you High-fived someone? wy gave me high-fives a few hours ago. Do you dye your Hair? nope.

Are you Happy with your life? at this second, yes. wy is asleep holding my hand hostage. When was the last time someone physically Hurt you? it’s been awhile. Do you always wear a Helmet when you go cycling? no. pretty much never on the rare occasion i go riding. I! What’s your favourite flavour of Ice-cream? depends where from, honestly. Could you ever live in an Igloo? no.. Do you know what an Icoceles triangle is? Isosceles triangle*, yes. <<<<< yup. What’s the most incredible thing you’ve ever seen? i don’t know. i guess phe give birth, but it was also disgusting. Do Insects freak you out? some. J! When was the last time you completed a Jigsaw? it’s been a very long time. Do you like Jam? sometimes. Tell me a Joke! i suck at joke telling.

Are you Jealous of anyone? people with their life figured out and going well.

K! Who was the last person you Kissed? wyatt, technically. Do you have a nice Kitchen? no. it’s tiny and not enough storage space. Do you like Kiwi fruit? occasionally. i have to be in the mood for them. Do you find Knock-Knock jokes hilarious? depends on the joke.... Do you tend to Keep a bunch of stuff you really don’t need? yes. it’s horrible. L! Do you think walking under a Ladder is bad luck? no. i’m not a superstitious person. Have you ever been inside a Limo? i have not. Do you really hate Losing? it’s not my favorite, but it’s kind of whatever if i do. Do you like playing with Legos? i did when i was younger. i haven’t tried recently. but i am sure i will sooner or later with wy. lol. Do you think you have a cool Laugh? i hate my laugh. M! Did you collect Marbles as a kid? not really. i had a few, but i didn’t collect them. Do you look in the Mirror a lot? no. i didn’t even know i had a scratch on my face from wy until someone mentioned it to me because i rarely look in the mirror. i wouldn’t have noticed for a long time if it hadn’t been mentioned. Do you have a Moustache? no i don’t. Could you live without Music? probably, but it’d be a little less enjoyable. i like music a lot. Do you like going to Museums? i do. but i rarely get to. N! What’s your Name? marlina. Do you like your Neighbours? i don’t know them, jake knows some, and my grandparents know some, but i’ve never talked to any. Do you watch the News? not really, no. What`s your favourite Number? don’t have one. O! Do Opposites really attract? they can, for sure. at first glance, jake and i seem to be opposites. but we have a lot in common too. Would you hate working in an Office? no, i don’t think so. it’d be better than working in a factory. Are you Open-minded? i think so. Do you think Olives are gross? green ones are gross. black are good on some things. P! When was the last time you made Pancakes? last week, or couple weeks ago. Are you wearing Pajamas? no. jeans and a tshirt. Have you ever been to Paris? i have not. Can you play the Piano? i know the basics. Do you Pull the door that says Push or Push the door that says Pull often? not often, but it does happen. Q! Are you a Quiet person? i am. it’s a common complaint with a lot of people. Do you ask too many Questions when you first meet someone? no. i don’t ask enough, probably, because i don’t say much. Are you a Quick learner? in most instances, yes. Did you know that Mythbusters proved that a Quack can echo? i did not know that. Do you know anyone called Quentin? a girl i used to be friends with had a brother named quentin. R! Do you smile everytime you see a Rainbow? not every time, but i make sure to show people when i do. they are pretty. Do you listen to the Radio all the time? not all the time. Can you Roller-blade? yeah, i can. i used to do it a lot back in the day. Do you take a Rubber-duck in the bath with you? nope. i generally take showers. wy has a rubber duck now though. it’s gray with flames. lol. Can you Run fast? i run fairly quick, but not super fast. S! What makes you Scared? there are way too many things. especially now that i’m a mom. Don’t you think Sellotape is cool? i don’t know what that is. Do you get Sick a lot? not generally. i’ve been getting more ear infections than usual though.. and i’ve been having gallbladder issues and i’ll probably be getting it removed. Do you still own a Slinky? i do not. T! Did you like Thomas the Tank Engine when you were a kid? he wasn’t my favorite cartoon. When was the last time you were in a Taxi? when i was very, very little. i don’t even remember it. Are you Thirsty? a little. Do you always remember to say Thank-you? usually. but it also depends if i get too anxious... Do you take care of your Teeth? not as good as i should have... i’ve been doing better. but in some ways, it’s a little late. U! Do you own an Umbrella? probably somewhere. Do you live Underneath anyone? nope. Do you think hanging Upside-down is fun? not anymore. i used to when i was younger. i loved the monkey bars. Have you ever put water in a rubber-glove and pretended they were Udders? i’ve put water in a rubber glove, but i didn’t pretend they were udders. Do you think you are Ugly? i know i am. V! Do you live in a Village? nope. Do you have a cool Voice? no. i don’t. What’s your Vice? lately, cookies. but that’s just because i bought super good cookie dough and made cookies. Do you still own any old Video’s? my parents do. Do you think you could survive in the Victorian era? i don’t know.. W! Are you too Warm right now? no. i’m pretty cool. Do you like Weetabix? i don’t know what that is. Do you wear a Watch everyday? i never do. i use my phone. Are you cautious about your Weight? i hate my weight right now... once i’m done breastfeeding, i am definitely doing something about it. Do you get Worried a lot? all the time about every single thing. X! Do you like to play the Xylophone? i used to like the toy ones when i was younger. Did you ever watch Xena: Warrior Princess? nope. Have you ever been X-Rayed? a few times. Are you Xenophobic? no. Did you know that X is 10 in Roman Numerals? i did know that. Y! Do you like Yogurt? i do like yogurt. especially vanilla or blueberry. Was Yesterday better than today? no. yesterday was worse. at least i was with wyatt today. Do you like the colour Yellow? it’s not my favorite. How are You? i’m tired and annoyed and stressed. i’m not sure what i’m doing. Do you Yell a lot? not really, no. Z! Do you think a horse painted to look like a Zebra is cool? no...

Do you know your Zodiac sign? virgo. Do you take Zinc? i do not. Did you know that Steve Irwin said to run in Zigzags to escape a Croc? yes. it’s funny you mention steve irwin. i am watching jack hanna, and i was saying how i prefer steve irwin.. i really want to find all the crocodile hunter series on dvd, so if anyone knows where i can find that, send me a link or something.

#survey #surveys #personal #question #questions #random

[canaryatlaw]

So today was pretty good! I'm tired of course, but that's probably because it's almost 2 in the morning (and will be past 2 by the time I'm finished writing this). But yeah, we were going to a family friend's house for the day. It took some convincing, but I did get out of bed and my sister and I took my mom's car there. They're about 45 minutes from us, way up on a little peninsula off Long Island that's patrolled by police constantly because it's a super affluent area so getting there takes forever because you have to be going 25 or 30 for like, 20 minutes and it's very frustrating lol. And this is only their beach house. I think I've only been to their actual house like, once. But we get there and eat right away, pretty good food, some catered and some homemade. At first I got baded to come sit with the adults but then was able to sneak off to sit with the "kids" (or at least people more my age). They have two kids, a boy who's a year older than me, and a girl who's four years younger than me. The boy is pretty awkward, but he's nice enough, and is only like borderline creepy on occasion so I can deal with that at least. I get along better with the girl, despite the age difference, she's finishing up undergrad right now and heading to law school. Her brother is also now apparently starting law school this year, after flunking out of medical school several times (my dad is best buds with the school's founder so he pulled strings to let him stay there even when he was flunking out on multiple occasions). So if he can't be a doctor apparently he has to be a lawyer, because those are the only acceptable career choices in their family (I don't want to add to stereotypes, but they are a very traditional Asian family, their mother came over from China as a teenager and ended up getting stuck here after a coup found her family in hot water with the government, so she took her fashion drawings to Macy's and they immediately ordered the clothes made and ran a successful fashion company for many years, and the Dad is a very accomplished doctor, so let's just say the expectations are very high. I feel bad for the boy because I highly doubt he actually wants to be a lawyer at this point, medical school to law school isn't the most logical jump, but I hope he's able to find happiness in it anyway. The girl at least seems to genuinely enjoy law, so that's good. After we ate we went out on kayaks for a while, and it was the first time I'd been kayaking since like, 5th grade summer camp lol and while we managed to do just fine, I was still pretty dang wet when I got out, and I was wearing a romper so I just had to stick it out really. We had dessert then, including my peach and blueberry crisp, which I was pleased with the results of. My mom was bugging me about it because she didn't think the nectarines were ripe enough, but I don't think it made a difference. The kids chilled out on the porch for a while and I mainly just took jabs at my brothers, which is one of my favorite things to do in situations where I know they can't fire back with one of their usual super douchey and awful responses. It's just light hearted teasing, I'm never actually very mean to them. After a while my sister wanted to leave (she wasn't feeling very well today unfortunately) so we headed out and stopped at Chick-fil-A on the way home so she could get some food (and I got a watermelon mint lemonade, which somehow messes with my breathing so I need to stop getting it, but it was still good. Got home, and started to gather supplies to dye my hair, only to find out my dye bottle was MIA, much to my frustration as this happened in June too. I could've improvised of course, but it would've taken a lot more effort, so I'm just gonna run to Sally's tomorrow and pick up another one being that they're like $1.50 anyway. So with that idea given up I went back downstairs and sat in the back room to watch this week's night shift, Suits, and Wynonna Earp. I won't get too deep into each of them for time's sake, but the night shift was SO. GOOD. Definitely one of their best episodes (and they've had a lot of good episodes). It was all a tribute to veterans, who play a large part in the show's narrative, and it was featuring veterans as actors and it was directed and such by veterans too, and it was just so poignant and well done that I legit teared up at several points. So I was pleased at that. Suits was kind of meh, I'm irritated it seems impossible for Mike to be honest in any way and also has to be keeping a secret from someone it seems like, so that's annoying. The case stuff with Louis and Harvey was good though, and I'm looking forward to where Mike will take the prison beating case. Wynonna Earp was excellent, as it is most times. I know a lot of the fandom was real pissed at the events of the last episode, but I think this episode did a pretty good job of smoothing things over (though I do still hope Waverly is honest with Nicole about what happened at some point). Nedley was fucking perfect in this episode, I was in stitches while he was being interrogated and would only give the sassiest responses. It was brilliant writing and brilliant acting, so kudos there. I suppose the widows getting the third seal and breaking it was inevitable for the season finale, but I was still kind of frustrated when it happened. But yeah, good episode, and I'm sad we only have two episodes left in the season (although it's at least an improvement from last year's 10 episode season). After that I watched a Supernatural episode, then showered and got ready for bed, then just wasted a lot of time on my phone reading posts and articles about today before writing this post, and now my eyes really want to be shut, so I'm gonna do that now. Goodnight friends. Have a lovely evening.

[canaryatlaw]

alright, trying to get to bed a *little* earlier than I have been (it’s 11:55 pm currently, better than 1:30 am at least) since it’s gonna be a busy con weekend. today was fine, fairly laid back but not bad. I woke up at like 1:30ish and grabbed my laptop to check something off my email (I can’t recall exactly what it was) and I sat on my bed with that for a bit before actually getting up and getting ready for my day, I was contemplating two breakfast options, part of me really wanted pancakes but I was thinking about how I might have peach fruit cups in the pantry which I’ve always found are an excellent addition to oatmeal, so I went to go dig those out and see what the deal was, and there were like three of them with the label printed as “best by January 2017″.....welp, guess those are getting tossed and pancakes it is. so I made blueberry pancakes, I was fairly satisfied with how they turned out, I get irritated making pancakes sometimes because they tend to brown on the outside before being fully cooked in the inside but these were pretty good. so I ate my pancakes and went on my laptop for a bit trying to figure out what I wanted to do with my hair for the day, and then set off to do that, changed into clothing I didn’t care if I got hair dye on and went to go do the deep treatment. the sequence of events I decided on (with some helpful advice from twitter) was to do the deep treatment and then use shampoo to get it out (as opposed to just rinsing it out with water), it should still come out pretty vibrant and I won’t have to deal with my hair getting too greasy, so I started getting all of that in my hair and making sure I covered everything evenly before letting that sit for two hours, during which I sat on the couch and listened to some podcasts and watched a few episodes of The Americans (I think I have like 4 more episodes left in season 5 and then 10 episodes in season 6 and then I’ll be done) until it was time to wash it out. that went pretty well, it’s funny but when you’re just rinsing overtone red products out of your hair with water and no shampoo it just looks orange, but when you add shampoo it turns this incredibly bright neon shade of pink that I want on all of my possessions because it’s the best thing ever and I need it in my life, lol. So it came out looking pretty good, I was satisfied with it. The only thing was it still looked a little patchy as to where had been lightened and what hadn’t, but I wasn’t too concerned since this will only be till Monday anyway and then I won’t have to worry about it. at that point I returned to the tv and my laptop to watch the news and some stuff before making dinner and waiting for Blindspot to come on. Pretty good episode, it’s clear they’re winding things down in anticipation for their series finale (I think they have like, 4 episodes left at this point) but I think they’re handling it fairly well and doing their characters justice. Once that was over I switched over to Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, which after tonight has 3 episodes left in the series, so they’re in a very similar spot. God, this show is so good and I’m gonna miss it so much. they’re just so damn good at nailing the humor along with dealing with actual issues in a touching and poignant way that leaves you really taking them to heart. It will definitely be missed when it is gone. Once that was over I went to Reign for the first time today to start their third season, pretty good so far, except I’m not loving the whole Delphine plot for Bash, it’s very evident it’s only in there so Bash has something to do and can be semi-relevant to the plot, but god it’s so extra and just frankly not enjoyable IMO. The rest of it I’m enjoying though. It’s funny because I kinda have spoilers on it just by knowing what actually happened to these people in history, but of course that can be embellished and modified as necessary for a fictional show, even if based on real people and real events (like, spoiler, I knew Francis was gonna die prior to the end of the series because IRL they were only married for like 2 years before he died). And I pretty much did that until I decided to get ready for bed, which mainly just consisted of changing into pajamas and taking my pills since I had showered earlier when I was washing my hair, and now that I’ve given my pills time to kick in I will go brush my teeth and do whatever I want to do to my face acne treatment/moisturizer wise and then hopefully go to bed, so that’s what I will be going to do now. It’s just 12:13 am so I made pretty good time writing this I’d say. Goodnight babes. Happy weekend.

#daily journal #March 2019