#and i do it alone and in silence

[daily-hanamura]

#p4 #p4g #persona 4 #persona 4 golden #hanamura yosuke #yosuke hanamura #souyo #soooooooooo we gonna talk about how yosuke enthusiastically jumps in to tell yu that hes the same #so ive already talked a million times about how yu and yosuke's types are basically each other and that how their r/s is so defined by their #attraction to each others kindness and reliability and all that but im just #kanji's expression is sending me here LFMAO especially because kanji is low key the one that kind of points out their closeness the most #tatsumi “hey let me in on this conversation” kanji #tatsumi “whos your partner now!” kanji #1000% kanji knows they're into each other he knows they're flirting without realising they're flirting #like never ever forget kanji's own sensitivity to the people around him and HE KNOWS. WHATS. UP. #but also the way no one else except kanji intervenes lmao #lmao i think chie yukiko and their class president are just really used to what souyo are like together (embarrassing not-pda pda) #so theyre just ah business as usual theyre doing that thing again. this is minor. trivial in the grand scheme of everything else they do #its got nothing on them passing notes or the way yu turns around to smile at yosuke and yosuke smiles back and they just sit there smiling #at each other in absolute silence. their classmates know to just walk around them and leave them alone. #class prez knows if he has to tell one of them its their turn on duty its a lost cause. they'll make up for it later as they always do #but for now he knows he'll have to get the broom and sweep the classroom floor himself #ok i jest none of that is canon (is it) but thanks to the sample bias i have from this scene #i am on the floor laughcrying at how everyone at the tables just #watching souyo flirt shamelessly like ah theyre at it again. why did hanamura-kun even suggest a group date hes clearly already dating- #he's good with his queue

[suits]

help a black woman in need

tldr; beat homelessness just in time to have my car repossessed.

hi ive been putting this off as long as i can because idk how to ask for help but i really need it rn. some of you might know, i was homeless since oct 2022. we found a place and have moved in at the start of this month (july). unfortunately this morning i was on my way out to work only to find that my car had been repossessed due to me falling behind on the payments (see: being homeless). i had to call off today but i need my car to get to work the rest of the week. im not asking for a specific amount because i need a lot and this will most likely be ongoing.but ANYTHING helps. please share even if you can't help out financially. words of encouragement/advice also appreciated. thank you 🙏🏾🫶🏾 pypl: @mkwats cshpp: $mkawatson vnmo: mk-watson

#i've literally been crying all day i have no idea how im going to make it through this #i do not like asking for help and only like 2 people knew about my previous situation but this is just so #all encompassing i feel completely defeated i really dont know what to do #sorry ill probably be annoying rb this #please do not be rude this is incredibly vulnerable i genuinely dont know how to even #put into words how defeated i feel #maybe its my own fault for waiting so long to ask for help #maybe if i asked sooner i would not be where i am right now but i genuinely hate feeling like a burden #im very much suffer in silence type but this is so much more than i can handle alone

[zebratimw]

Spirit animal SQH

#svsss #shang qinghua #but mainly I'm just here to vague post LMAO I don't like to vague post its not very effective in terms of venting but #but basically I guess I'm becoming hyperaware of my like... cognitive dissonance codependency and derealization ee #also my general laziness ig and where it overlaps into executive dysfunction or whatever like I may genuinely have some issues but #I am also a lazy son of a bitch jfjfkgkg and i need to figure out how to figure it out so I can work on both in more effective ways hhggg #oh yeah but basically the thing to remember for later is the silence in the call and the immediate unmute and chat activity once I left #I should remember this and stop interacting I think? I should try to give em space I think I'm being too clingy or something #or maybe my own silence is too awkward and dampens the call? I was kinda just spacing out and not doing anything so I get its kinda weird #LMAO so I should just like try not to be in call for those times mm #I just like being in call with my friends jdhfkg but I suppose its not very good either #I overindulge I suppose another friend pointed it out to me before too haha but fjfjjt its just easier than facing bouts of dread by myself #eehh and that's why I gotta do something about my Metnal Ailneses hfjfj but ngl I don't really know how to go about it... #I get embarrassed looking stuff up djfnfkg and half the time I don't even know what to look up I just draw ?s and I give up #I suppose I also have commitment issues too but that ones not new which is an issue of itself aaaaaaaa #man idk idk I just don't really get it I guess djdjfjf and I've got existential dreads and think maybe it doesn't really matter whats wrong #cause there's no point to fixing them because ultimately I'm gonna die alone and a failure anyways? so like ehfjgkg idk #its depressing and I know its like sabotage cause my brain is being a little silly a little goofy and its not a shared sentiment #with the better half of me and the entirety of my friends but yknow its just ee harder sometimes to believe in the optimism ig #and i can talk about it somewhat normally and without like having a ✨️break down #but yknow djfjgkg I'm very emotional a person ya? I think sqh is relatable for gods sake 💀 #irrationality sentimentality nihilism and existential dreads... wanting to die because living is too hard despite all my hopes for living... #just the ol regulars yknow? #and another thing... do I talk to my friends about these things? I vent them out here a lot but what do I really want? #I'm not strong enough to keep it to myself clearly but I'm also too proud to share these thoughts? I dump them out in the open and for what? #whenever someone reaches out with concern and care I don't respond in kind and refuse to elaborate? #so like what do I want with this? I guess I want someone to know I'm going insane half the time I'm awake? but not do anything about it? #that's pretty unfair I guess... and stupid I think I do want to share my thoughts with someone but I'm too scared of the ramifications #and that my pride can't stand the fact I might be looked differently by my friends even tho the image they have of me is already quite silly #man.... idk.... I'll come to conclusions myself and do nothing about them so I guess that'll happen again aah idk idk idk

[somecunttookmyurl]

all the while society conflates "being an adult" with "having a proper job" and "having money to make arbitrary Adult Purchases" disabled people who can't work - or can only work part time or can only do entry level baby jobs - will never be 'allowed' to be adults

you can say "being an adult is looking after yourself you don't have to have a job!!!" all you want but most people who say that will still assume anybody who doesn't either can't or won't 'look after themselves' actually. and every 'marker' of 'adulthood' that's observable and thus actually counts or whatever loops back around to... having a job and 'contributing' something

#yeah i have netflix on all day #i am quite literally signed off of work for the -rest of my life- #what the fuck else would you like me to do with my time when most people are in fact at work #or did you think i can't have the tv on and put laundry away at the same time or something #must i work on commissions on silence in a dour room to be perceived as an adult #anyway 'looking after yourself/your home/your pet' is not observable #to anybody who doesn't like ACTUALLY live in your house #unless you are extremely obviously NOT doing it #if a tree falls in a forest etc #owning a house? job. like not even 'in this economy? lol' #disabled people LITERALLY can't because we aren't allowed to have enough savings for a deposit #car? would you honestly trust me with a vehicle lol but also: job #you mostly cannot buy a car without one it's a requirement for the lease #otherwise you aren't 'trusted' to pay it on time #incidentally most landlords will also - perfectly legally - refuse to rent to you because you are going to be unreliable with the rent #which is being paid directly by the gov anyway like take your trust issues up with them bro #a family? if i get married or cohabit with a partner my income gets sliced in half #so to support even myself let alone a child would require. drumroll please. employment #savings? adults have savings right? yeah but unlike you i have a gov enforced cap on mine #'good furniture not shit from ikea' (someone has remarked that ikea furniture is 'college dorm-y' it's going here) #i mean do i have to say it

[seariii]

Wife wife wife wife wife wife wife wife wife wife wife wife wife wife babygirl wife wife wife wife wife wife wife wife wife wife wife wife wife wife wife wife wife wife wife wife love wife wife wife wife wife wife wife wife wife wife wife wife wife wife wife wife wife wife wife wife wife princess wife wife wife wife wife wife wife wife wife wife wife wife wife wife wife wife wife wife wife wife honey wife wife wife wife wife wife wife wife wife wife wife wife wife wife wife wife wife wife

#im gonna kiss the mental break down out of her #i love women... #hecho con amor #wife <3 #im not ready to wake up yet tho... nor to face the consequences of that message.... #i wanna hug Kotoko.... gently hold her in my arms while we lay down on our bed. ill run my fingers through her hair and place little kisses #on her head 'its going to be okay. im here with you' i whisper softly 'you arent alone. you did what you could' #i just wanna hug her so gently and give her the soft treatment she deserves... #heh .... im now imagining the full fledged scene... at the very end of it just a soft #'thank you for trusting me. i know it wasn't easy. im proud of you for trying' #because she would be so hesitant to say anything...barely able to show herself like thst in front of anyone..m she truly is making an effort #heh and after s couple seconds of silence after that thank you i can see her hugging slightly tighter #burying her face on my chest/neck area and sighing 'i dont like this' as in being emotionally vulnerable #'thank you for doing it still' i would whisper back to her softly #lets see if i can still sleep for a bit more

[arkiwii]

finished farming all the materials needed to get Silence alter E2 max level M9 because there's no limits to my mental illness (blue is for promotion, yellow is for skills, red is for fun, add to this 1M+ LMD and the Supporter chips that I couldn't include in the screenshots)

now i can go to bed for 5 days see ya

#im so dead #also finished chapter 12 #so yeah imma just mimir #arknights spoilers #i guess #dunno if someone cares about the materials needed for an unit #arknights #fun fact i do not have a single operator with supporter training skill #meaning my poor girl is gonna train alone and for like 100+ hours #canon to silence honestly

[is-the-owl-video-cute]

I’m scared for the kids who might unknowingly buy the Harry Potter game or the books or the movies without knowing what’s going on. We need to ACTUALLY ban this franchise. Burn copies in stores. Smash your friend’s computer if you have to. I don’t know why we’re simply telling people to “read other books” and not going full scorched earth. There’s children out there who could be entrapped into this thing and not know until it’s too late…(It’s not censorship because it’s actually bad. Only minorities should be allowed to censor things because we know best.)

Nice try, buddy.

#You’re not going to get me to agree with you that book burnings are cool lol #This is entrapment #anyway #I don’t even think it should be banned #because that would make it harder for people to see WHY marginalized people don’t like it #I do however think perhaps if TERFs don’t want to continue being lumped in with conservatives they should #you know #maybe not silence all the pesky poc and Jewish and gay voices speaking out against her statements and content as harmful #This weird transphobe alliance that forms just because your favorite white celebrity also hates trans people #is exactly how people end up down the alt right pipeline #her tweet alone endorsed Matt Walsh’s ‘documentary’ #meaning she’s promoting her young fans to look into his commentary #which also introduces them to Ben Shapiro and Jordan Peterson and before you know it #you’ve got some fledgling trump lovers lol

[themintman]

Whenever I'm sad the badge seller isn't real I remember these comments and go "yeah maybe it's for the best"

#a hat in time #ahit badge seller #badge seller #the badge seller #LEAVE THEM ALONE #they would be horrified #Also WOAHHHH EXPRESSIVE MASK I NEVER DO THAT WOAHHHHH #it fits the meme better #Also just sidenote people calling badge “he” is my biggest pet peeve in this fandom #Badge I am so sorry your pronouns are only in the manual #Moment of silence for badges non binaryness

[pepprs]

ok. im going to make this post but i REALLY shouldn’t but i just am so devastated rn and need to not be alone in it and you guys are the only people i can talk to candidly about moving stuff rn for a lot of reasons. the reason im crying rn is because i just found out i made a massive error in my budget and it turns out that my net pay is barely over minimum wage and i cannot afford to live by myself. at all. unless i live off of savings in addition to income but even then that’s only going to help me for a couple months and anyway it’s extremely unwise bc i should save that money for getting a car etc etc. this is not entirely a bad thing because a) at least i can afford to… you know… live. and b) living with roommates will not be bad especially if i live with friends and/or strangers i come to be friends with. it’s just i really… i don’t know i just feel so sick to my stomach. it’s just that recent events have made it so clear to me that i need to teach myself how to live independently before i can live with other people (let alone function in the world, heal from trauma, etc.) healthily. i know it so deeply. and it can’t happen for me. this is confirmation. this is confirmation and there’s nothing that can change it. rent is too high (even for shitty apartments in the area which let’s be real most of them are… it’s too high!) and over half of my income is going to taxes and deductions and bills and student loans. i feel so hopeless

#an di still have homework to do LMAOOOOOOOOOOO as if im not having a crisis over this issue which is more important than any hw assignment #will ever be. fuck my stupid baka life but i mean it so sincerely. #purrs #delete later #again. i know even being able to consider living alone is a MASSIVE privilege and there will be joys in having a roommate especially if it’s #someone i love. but it’s going to create sooooo many more steps in this process for me and i will have to compromise my needs yet again ( #even if i genuinely want to!) when what i need right now is to have as little compromise as possible. to FINALLY experience what it’s like #to live without having to share (most) things or silence myself. moving out at all is going to be huge and helpful no matter if im living #with roommates but. god god god. this feels like thinking a door is open but it’s just painted to look that way. im so sad #also btw i found out that i am not actually being overpaid im being UNDERpaid. which is a solvable problem that will be fixed this week but #even when that gets corrected i still am making a little over minimum wage so. 😃🔫

[jupiter-nwn]

Gee, isn't it strange that whenever my family is in the house screaming and being annoying, I'm barely functional and can't do all of my chores, but whenever I'm alone and not completely unstable, and able to accommodate for myself, suddenly I'm 100% more functional?

#When there's people in the house I always just wanna be locked in my room #But once I'm alone! I can just... roam around the house! do stuff!!! #I have so much trouble showering; but I got home and I was alone and I was like 'man it's so hot in here' so I just! I took a short shower! #and like!!! I can't do that when there's people in here!! I made myself a sensory-friendly safe-food meal and it's amazing!! #and I can either leave the silence to help my sensory issues or put on good stimulus like my favorite music and and and!! #actually disabled #actually autistic #actually neurodivergent

[solradguy]

I have a question for you and anyone else, you might kin your kin, but would your kin, kin YOU ~pumpkin anon (I wish 2 believe my kin would infact kin me <3 I love jacko)

No hahah I don't think Sol would hate me, but I don't think we'd vibe like that at all. I could probably get a conversation out of him through our common interests though. He'd probably get a kick out of my 3D printer and record collection lol

#asks #Actually I think if you put me and actual Sol into a room together we'd just sit there in complete silence- #-until one of us got bored enough to finally get up and leave lmfao #We're both too bad at initiating conversation and sitting in silence is fine #Another possible scenario is that there's just too much overlap between our personalities and we instantly hate each other hahaha #Sol'd say something mean and I'd be like 'Well what're you gonna do about it then dickhead' and he turns my skull into red mist #No tbh I don't think he'd do that unless I was like an actual threat (no way I could be to him LOL) #I dunno!! I think we're both just operating on incompatible lowkey grumpy all the time levels to really get along haha #Let alone have like a two way 'kin thing going on

[juno-infernal]

okay i still don’t need romantic love. but who will let me climb into their bed without a word and treat me gently, demanding nothing?

#m #bad pain day bad brain day. #i like being alone most of the time but i do wish for someone i could sit comfortably in silence with #when it all gets so heavy. #i wish non-sexual physical intimacy was something i had access to.

[twicethetrouble]

Mass effect 1 is giving me trouble, but not in the way you'd expect.

#random stuff #you can ignore this #Im too aroace for this lol #I only just realized this #And I'm halfway through the 1st game #In my defence I'm used to dragon ages romance options types #Which is putting ''ROMANCE OPTION HERE!'' in big bold letters around the romance options #Not just ''if ur nice you'll start dating ur entire crew!'' #It sounds worse than it is since there's only 2 romancable characters #But still #It's somewhat distressing since now I have to be mean to Kaiden to get him to back off #Which I don't want to do #But I really don't want to romance characters right now : / #I just want to be friends with my crew #And save the galaxy from evil robo-aliens #Is that too much to ask? #I've spent the last half hour making this meme and post rather than telling Kaiden off #Literally left the dude mid dialogue tree #It's the longest awkward silence the galaxy has ever known #You'd think he'd get the hint from that alone but apparently not

[sodafrog13]

the son makes me insane dude i gotta talk about him more some time

#soooo tired of ppl reducing him to the one Haha Funnie Line in anything they make of him .-. #like it's a rlly compelling scene and it says so much abt his character but half the time #all he ever gets reduced to is a mockery of his drug addiction. and it makes me sad bc he's Such an interesting character #esp the relationship he has w the henchman; let alone his family #idk i don't have actual thoughts rn but once i do. it's over for u bitches #the trash speaks #also an aside but just bc i've gotten to this point in dead of night production's hlm2 dub #assassin's cred was such a pain of an achievement gkjkgk #not the worst by far but it's the one where you gotta clear the entire first floor of the chop shop w the silencer #bc there's only JUST enough bullets for one for each enemy so you gotta b rlly careful in making sure you don't waste any

[eggtrolls]

I went to an extremely unpleasant "reading social" event thing last night in the worst part of Brooklyn (the Lorimer stop on the L) for which I paid HARD CURRENCY to attend and it was so unbelievably shit that I left a 1 star review and a 700 word, 4-point breakdown on why it was not good last night. 12 hours later I get an email from one of the hosts (derogatory) asking me why I gave them a 1 star review like BITCH!!!!! can you not read the feedback I so thoughtfully provided???? hello????? am I in hell? why would a loving god allow such a thing to exist.

#honestly the most embarrassing part is that I actually went LET ALONE PAID MONEY FOR this collective miscarriage. incredibly cringe. #I was HOODWINKED. BAMBOOZLED. I am stressed and depressed I am disgraced and egg-faced #to my NYC girlies do not waste your money on Re*ding Rh*thms it is a booktok scam. come to my home and read with me in total silence instea #Egg talks

[skeletons-in-ur-closet]

i AM a violent dog i DO know why i bite

#ok to rb #vent in the tags its a lot u dont have to read #nah but ive been so angry lately #im constantly fighting w my mom and brother but...like im justified every single time #its just like...ive always been the scapegoat of my family (except to my dad) but now hes dead and my mom n brother have been targeting me+ #nonstop. literally 24/7 #for example my mom has not bothered to check on me ONCE since it happened...yet shes constantly treating me like a therapist + #and she always comforts/checks in on my older brother AND she critcizes me for how im handling things or how 'long' everythings taking #all the while they dont lift a fucking FINGER to help me with anything and im doing everythings on my own #while going to school and working full time....to pay THEIR BILLS #idk it just feels like im so fucking alone and yet they just continue to rag on me when im literally doing my fucking best #im not allowed to greive bc im too busy doing their fucking work all while they criticize how i do their work...FOR THEM.... #god forbid im not as talkative as usual bc im stressed (i wonder why) and im the worst person on the planet #literally i will b sitting in silence in my room and theyll find something to make fun of me for or get mad at