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#and i don't care what your intentions were
panchatea · 2 days
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Aletheia & Etterath
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ChaCha Story Commissions.
Gahyeon x Male Reader ft. SuA
Tags: Romance, Lover’s Sex, Dreamcatcher, Gahyeon, SuA, Fluff, Melodrama
Wordcount: 11956
LAST PART OF THE SERIES
PART 1 - Aulasy & Kairoclerosis
PART 2 - Amour & Liaison
A/N: This is the last part of this series. Yey! I hope it's okay, I haven't written anything this technical before and I haven't written smut for more than a year. please do tell me how is it. It's not perfect but yeah.
Support me on KOFI
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“Unnie, do you love me?” There’s just something that has always been both a blessing and a curse for me. People seem to think I am just a dumb pretty face who is unaware of anything around her—even my members always treat me like I'm a child.
However, the truth is, I know…
I observe and I always watch. 
I know.
I just don't talk.
“Gahyeonie, of course, I love you.” She smiled caringly as she continued to wipe that iniquitous body of hers that I’m so jealous of—slender, sexy, toned, and petite so unlike my curvy voluptuous body. Well, despite my jealousy of her body and other things, I’m glad to have her, she loves me so genuinely like her own sister. 
I love her too. 
But I know… 
She’s jealous of me too, and makes me so happy. 
“Do you love him too?” She smiled again, but this time it was almost too bittersweetly. Bora-unnie opened her mouth and she didn't speak for a moment.
“Of course, I love him.” I know you. That was your true feelings, wasn't it? 
“Every member loves him. He’s cute and he takes good care of you. There's no way we wouldn't love him.” That was true. She didn't lie, but it was far from her truth.
Nonetheless, I just tucked myself in the sheets and pretended to sleep. I just didn't know what to say to her or you so I held back. It wasn't before I felt her warm body beside me. It was Bora-unnie.
She's always been good to me. She always took good care of me. What's mine could have been hers, but she didn't take it. She gave you to me.
I always knew.
I saw it.
That spark in your eyes the first time you met her. Time must have slowed for you during those five seconds.
The way you listened intently to my stories, but you always had ears for things about her. You were always curious, but you never asked.
The way you glance over her reaction whenever they teased us of being lovers before. 
The way she had always greeted you first. And was always there watching over us two. 
You two always had an eye for each other. 
It always felt like she wanted you. 
And when you asked her about love.
When you said “I love you” to her. 
I knew. 
“Can’t fall asleep?” I heard Bora-unnie say. I thought it was for me, but then… 
“Noona, what will happen from now on?” You answered her from my left side. I only noticed your presence then, maybe from all the thinking. 
“I honestly don’t know,” Bora-unnie said as I felt her warm embrace engulf me, “she didn’t say it but I think she knows, but I’m too scared to ask.”
And I’m too scared to tell you two. Why didn’t I just wish the two of you to live happily? Why must you two hurt because of me?
“I’m happy and grateful for her tonight so I decided not to be greedy from now on. Tonight might happen again or not ever again but either way, I’m fine with it,” she continued as her hug tightened. 
I’m the one who should be sorry for ruining something beautiful between the two of you. I’m sorry for being selfish, but I’m sorry because I don’t regret it.
“Whether she might decide to keep this sexual thing going or decide to acknowledge my feelings for you and let me share your relationship with the three of us or just bury it, I will not complain and do something.” I already did acknowledge it Bora-unnie, but the moment you surrendered him to me, that was when you already lost.
“After all, I already gave you up to her ever since that day, and it’s a decision I don’t wanna take back and regret,” she said lastly. The pain was apparent in her tone. Her hands that hugged me were shaking. You sighed, you were quiet, you were just listening, and I wish you had expressed your thoughts more, but as usual, you were reserved.
“So that’s it?” You said with a tone of acceptance and defeat.
“That’s it,” She agreed before breaking her hug and turning her back to drift to sleep.
I opened my eyes, only to be met by your sleeping face. 
The face of the man that I love. 
The man who I wish loved me as much I love him, but sadly I’m not confident. 
What a player. It feels conflicting. I don’t plan on giving you up, but I’m not sure what these emotions are or what should I feel. You never cheated on me with her. You never did anything to compromise this relationship. You worked so hard to show your love for me, but whenever Bora-unnie is here, it always feels like you are chained to her, and she only pulls once, then you’ll leave me. I’m always at the mercy of her pity for me. Your words earlier still linger in my ear.  I trust you and your words.
“I loved you but I love Gahyeon.”
“Thank you, but please wait for me… at least until I can make a decision”
That's what I said but then again, 
I knew…
I would still choose you even if you don't.
And I wish,
You would choose me too.
The next day after that night was anticlimactic. It was awkward eating breakfast that morning. Everyone was quiet while eating the hotel room service food. It was a simple breakfast of toast, honey, butter, bacon, eggs, and coffee.
“This breakfast reminds me of Europe, we would eat this every day and I kinda missed the usual Korean breakfast after a while,” Gahyeon reminisced and you followed the conversation by asking about things about their tour while SuA stayed quiet, just listening to the two of you until breakfast was over. Gahyeon was weird today. She wasn’t doing that thing while she ate. 
SuA excused herself, saying that she had an appointment and left you two alone.
“I’ll go now, Kids. Take care you two.” SuA said before she left. SuA looked rather down, she wasn’t being her usual mature and mischievous self. It felt like she had a problem she couldn’t share.
“Worried?” She asked you.
It became even more awkward when you and Gahyeon were left alone inside the room. No one dared to talk about what happened last night. It felt like there was a wall between the two of you and Gahyeon had a lump inside her throat that she couldn’t get out. She tried to smile but they were bittersweet. You wanted to say something to help her but there was nothing, as you were painfully aware of the fact that you were the reason.
“About what?” You answered back but you knew it was about SuA leaving so abruptly. 
“I have no things to worry about.” You added as you smiled awkwardly.
Gahyeon stayed quiet after that and sat right beside you before locking hands with yours as she leaned onto your shoulders. She was clingy, refusing to let off your hand. It was comforting and reassuring, but it might be even a call for help from her. 
“Do you wanna stay like this all day?” You opted to stay with her.
 “No, I should visit my mom and dad. I haven’t seen them for so long,” She said and asked you to drive to her parent’s house. They haven’t seen her for so long you agreed.
The drive wasn’t any better. It was uncomfortably quiet with only the radio music filling the air. Thankfully, it played one Dreamcatcher’s song, and Gahyeon humming along with it made the atmosphere a little lighter. It was quite a long ride, but you survived.
Something was going on, and you were being kept in the dark. You knew it was about SuA. About what happened yesterday? It was not like you weren’t affected either. But you knew it was because of you, and you couldn’t do much.
“I love you,” you whispered before kissing her gently on the lips in front of her parents’ house. It was the only thing you thought you could do. A gentle kiss and the words she wanted to hear the most. 
Gahyeon reciprocated with a peck of her own on your lips. She inched close, another on your cheek. Before whispering her reply to your words.
“I love you too.” This time the side of her lips raised as she was almost too drawn by the black hole in front of her. Three words and a kiss were the reassurance she deserved. She turned around happily to their house.
The night before, Gahyeon wished for you to express yourself more. Say that you wanted her as much as she wanted you. Reject Bora flatly, but instead, what she got was only you wondering and a last defeated line.
But this time, the saying of those three words and the kiss reassured Gahyeon of something. Something that made her feel less of a pitied woman and more of a chosen love.
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Months have passed since then and it was like the hatchet was buried. The topic has never been talked about. Unsaid feelings and concerns were left unsaid, but you and Gahyeon continued to work on your relationship. It was like she didn’t have to bring it up, as you knew ever since that moment in front of her parent’s house—it was a testament to your feelings—it was all that was needed.
Today, there she was sitting on her chair. With that black dress’ fitting her, she would make every model in this world thankful that Gahyeon became an idol—it hugged her body tightly, proudly highlighting her gorgeous figure. Not just that, the French tips, the designer ring you gifted her, a scrunchy just in case, pink hair, and red lips, complete a date night look.
Gahyeon was a goddess.
Gahyeon no matter what she was wearing or even if she was wearing nothing at all, she would be the most beautiful girl in this world to you and many people. Today though, she was dressed extra special, just for you, and with that, you were thankful for being the one chosen by this goddess.
Gahyeon’s attention was all poured into the menu in front of her. She giggled as she looked at each page excitedly. Why wouldn’t she be excited? The meal was treated by you, and it was your second anniversary. You just stared at her, reminiscing all of the things that you two had gone through for the past year. From a rather peculiar deal after a one-night stand, a night for three naked bodies with the same girl you had a one-night stand with, and through all of that confusion and pain you had caused the girl in front of you, here you were celebrating this festive day.
“Don’t look at me like that, I’m gonna melt,” she teased as she closed the menu and gestured for the waiter to take her orders before looking back at you. Gahyeon smiled naughtily as if she had concocted something mischievous inside her head. 
She inched closer until there was only a few centimeters between you and her lips which made you instinctively close your eyes.
For a kiss, but you just heard giggling before you—
“Ahh! What was that?” you asked as you opened your eyes only to find the love of your life back at her seat with the same smirk she had earlier. You just caressed your forehead, trying to ease the pain of her attack.
“You looked too cute, I had to tease you.” Her laughs echoed into your ears—a symphony you would never get tired of. Sadly, that soon came to a halt as the waiter came to take the food order. Of course, the order was hers to decide alone, you had given her the privilege to do so on this special occasion.
She opted for a specialty dish, a whole pizza, a side of roasted potatoes, an assorted seafood dish, and pints of beer to keep the cold night warm.
“Yah, that’s too much, we can’t possibly finish all of that,” You said to her to which she replied with a pout, “Aish, you’re not planning on making me finish all of that?”
“Of course! It’s the man of the relationship's job to finish all the food his woman ordered.” Gahyeon pointed out before handing the menu to the waiter. There she goes, a typical girlfriend moves to use gender roles to get what they want.
The food didn’t take too long to arrive. And it also didn’t take any for you two to enjoy the feast in front of you.
“Here try this,” Gahyeon offered you a spoonful of the specialty dish she ordered which you gladly accepted shyly before she herself tried it. Whether she was sweet or she wanted to see how it tasted first, her mixed expression said it was both. 
“How was it?” She asked and you just nodded. Gahyeon never was the kind to hide her affection. She didn't even try to hide the relationship from the media. For a while it became a headache for her management, but with time and effort, it all became fine. Now it is an open fact that Gahyeon from Dreamcatcher is dating a non-showbiz man. 
“It’s delicious!” Gahyeon blissfully exclaimed after she took a bite. You smiled unknowingly while watching her—it looked like it was worth it to book this restaurant months earlier for this date. She was happy—the way she hummed as she ate was a testament to this. 
“Don’t stuff yourself too much or you’ll end up complaining to me later that you gained weight,” you teased her as you too stuffed yourself with the delicious food. She glared at you—never mention gaining weight with someone who controls theirs for their job. An idol needs to always stay in shape after all—their almost impossible-like figures. 
“I’m sorry.”
Time passed like that. You two passed bicker on to each other. Talking about all the mundane things. Just there, enjoying the company of each other.
The night has been perfect so far. The cold breeze was countered by the alcohol, delicious food alongside great conservation, and the reincarnation of beauty and kindness, your date Gahyeon has been nothing but lovely(also a teasing master), there was no reason to be unhappy. 
“I said to stop staring at me like that.” She looked at you sourly, pretending to be annoyed at you.
“I wasn’t, I wasn’t looking at you!” you retorted at her. “I was looking at that last piece of pizza.”
You took it, bit on it, and she looked like hell rose and her soul left her body.
“But, I was gonna take that last piece,” she dejectedly said as she pouted at you.
“Yah! You, we’re breaking up! You stole my pizza.” Gahyeon pointed her fork at you, threatening you with it.
“Come on now, fox, I’m sorry. Here take the piece.” You placed the pizza on her, but she just glared at you.
“But, you already took a bite!” She moved the piece back to your plate but you refused and placed it again on her plate.
“No! This is betrayal! Did you know wars started because of pizza!” Whelp, that was clearly an overreaction. Or maybe not, you made a mental note to search later which historical event she might be referring to.
For the second time, she returned the pizza. And by then you had already noticed other guests from the tables near you looking. Not that it was embarrassing you, but being a cause of distraction to other people was bad.
“Babe, I’m really sorry,” You apologized sincerely. “Look, we can order another pizza if you still want them. We can also take them as a takeout for later.”
 “The next time, I promise I’ll ask you, if you want the food before I eat it, okay?” You held out your pinky, and she raised just her eyebrow and crossed her arms as you wiggled the finger in front of her.
“Hmm, k. You better order the same one!” Gahyeon hooked her finger onto yours and stood up. It all happened too fast and before you even knew it, her lips connected to yours, not caring if it was a public display of affection or if she could be photographed by a random fan. 
You two had done it more than times you could ever count, but it was still as magical—her soft supple lips landing on yours, staining it with her red lipstick.
“Be ready, I think you’ll be on Dispatch tomorrow,” Gahyeon smirked as she disconnected her finger from yours and snatched the piece of pizza on your plate before she sat again and ate it. You will definitely be on Dispatch tomorrow after that,  but this time, it won’t be a controversy but it is to report about Gahyeon’s successful relationship.
As for you, you shyly sat there—red as an apple after that scene straight out of a KDrama. 
You shyly gestured for the waiter.
“Can we get the check and then a pizza for takeout,” you said to the waiter as Gahyeon continued to enjoy herself, taking pictures as she ate her food. You took out your phone to capture some photos.
It was such a mundane thing, but it was so beautiful. Her just being there, eating the food you treated her comfortably without any care in the world.
The way she smiles.
The way she munches her food.
It was love when even the most boring things became the most interesting.
There was no worry in this world with you and her in it. It was proving how fruitful your efforts were in this relationship.
You love her and that is all that matters. You wouldn't trade her for anything or anyone. That was what you decided ever since that day.
Soon the waiter came with a box of pizza and the check for the food. You paid for everything and got ready to leave. The night was still young, there were so many things to do, and there was only so much you could do.
Not much time after, Gahyeon found herself walking alongside the beach, and you followed her from behind. The air was cold to feel,  the song of the ocean resonated to the ear, her footsteps left prints on the sand beneath, and her dress flew and formed waves like the ocean’s. 
It was a sight to behold. 
There was just a certain kind of beauty as the moon just shone on her like it was a spotlight, her porcelain skin glowed as if it was reflecting the moon like the water does. The focus was all just for her and everything, even the breathtaking view just became a backdrop to her beauty. It was a picturesque sight that would forever be imprinted on one’s brain.
However, it wasn’t anything special. Rather it was just Gahyeon and your eyes. The eyes that allowed you to see her for who she was. It wasn’t because of her beauty, or her personality, it was Gahyeon as a whole. 
What people don’t really understand was that attraction and love are two different things.
Seeing someone and wanting them is attraction.
Seeing someone and wishing to be with them is love.
Of course, attraction is normal among lovers, but there is a fine line between lust, infatuation, and love. To which is what is underneath all that attraction. The normality and comfort of just being in her presence. Gahyeon isn’t the goddess or the idol of everyone. The difference between your love and the love of her fans is that you don’t look up in the sky for her—seeing her in glasses of such absurdity and obscurity.
Gahyeon is there.
She’s always been there up ahead. She’s not up there on a pedestal.
She’s there with you.
And that’s what you call Love.
And that’s when you truly see. It was not the glow of her skin under the moonlight, or the way her pink hair and black dress swayed to the blow of the sea breeze, or the way that sight was like a masterpiece waiting to be captured and kept in an art museum.
It was again only Gahyeon. Gahyeon who was just walking alongside the beach. Gahyeon, who was stuffed with all of the food she ate. Gahyeon, who probably was feeling cold, because one, she wore sleeveless, two she didn’t bring any jacket even though you told her to do so earlier, and three, because it was simply cold during that night.
Gahyeon makes you worry. Gahyeon makes you feel unease. Gahyeon makes you hurt. Gahyeon makes you wanna care. Gahyeon makes you feel alive. Gahyeon makes you cry. Gahyeon makes you laugh.
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Gahyeon is Gahyeon.
She took out her phone, pointed it onto the horizon, and soon you felt a vibration inside your pocket.
“The moon looks so beautiful isn't it?” Her message said alongside the picture of the horizon as if you weren't there with her. You smiled as you typed the reply.
“Come on, why are you acting like I’m not even here,” you said as you approached her and nudged her. She giggled and looked at your face for a second before she went back to staring at the horizon. You dropped the pizza that you ordered as takeout at the sand, took off your jacket, and shielded Gahyeon from having a cold later tonight.
“I knew you’d do that. That’s why I didn't bring a jacket. It is a boyfriend thing to do,” she commented and you just giggled in response. 
“The moon looks so blue.” There it was up above the skies, shining alone brightly. It must have been lonely. There were no stars above and even if there were, no matter how it seemed like they were close to each other, they were truly drifting away from each other. It was scary. 
She held your hand. Tightly as if she was scared you would just disappear through thin air. It was sweaty and cold, but she didn't mind. 
“I prefer the red sunset.”
Yes, that red sunset back when we were just teenagers without any care in the world,  chasing our dreams, and then and there I knew I only had one dream. 
And it was to be with you. 
It was funny because I was making fun of how frail you were, and how you wouldn’t be able to run a mile. You wouldn’t be able to reach the beach at the end of the town. Your house was on the other end of the town after all. 
But you did, and the first thing you did was send me a photo of that beautiful red sunset.
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t was so beautiful. 
It made me happy. 
You were amazing and it was beautiful. 
I could imagine how you were frowning when I replied and said how pretty it was.
I mean, you sent it to me to show how amazing you were right? 
It made me so happy so I took my bike and pedaled all the way to you. 
You were so funny. I caught you complaining.
“Not that! I want her to know how awesome it is that I ran here!” You exclaimed.
“Oh, you didn’t want to show me the sunset?” You didn’t even notice that I was behind you.
“That’s right… not the sunset…” That was when you realized, and looked back before jumping out of shock.
“Gah, what are you doing here?” You asked me.
“Talking to you last time made me want to see the sunset.” That is what I answered, but the truth is…
I wanted to see you. I even brought you a bottle of water. You drank as we sat on the sand.
“I’m so happy,”—I expressed— “you ran all the way here to send me a picture of that beautiful sunset.”
“It’s not like that…” you denied but you were blushing. You continued mumbling, trying to come up with an excuse. You were so cute, you didn’t know what to do and you couldn’t even understand what you were feeling.
I called out your name. You were so rattled.
“It’s so red, isn’t it?”
“Red? Am I blushing?”
But I just said…
“It’s a beautiful red sunset. So pretty…”
“The sunset? It sure is. It’s red, isn’t it.”
“Well, it’s not as red as you.” I couldn’t really help but tease you. Your reactions were so cute.
But really…  I was so glad.
I could watch that beautiful sunset with you.
Those were the days.
That was also the day, I realized… It wasn’t a crush.
I love you.
“Red sunset?” Your question brought back Gahyeon from her trance.
“Yes, I wanna see it again,” Gahyeon said as she continued to watch to the horizon while you watched her.
“Is this that beautiful?” You asked her.
“Yes, it was so beautiful,” Gahyeon answered. She turned to look at you and locked eyes.
“Yes, beautiful.” She giggled.
“Take me to the beach again soon,” Gahyeon asked full of expectations.
“Why?” You asked but you already made a mental note to plan another beach trip. Maybe this time back in yours and Gahyeon’s hometown. You remember visiting alone the last time you drove her to see her parents, and it was beautiful. Maybe you two could eat some crabs and other seafood.
Gahyeon loves seafood a lot after all.
“I wanna see a nice red sunset again. Also, I really want to catch some crabs.” Gahyeon said and rubbed her stomach. Is she a mind reader? Or was she just thinking about using her stomach? Either way, it made you laugh a little. You expected her to say something about food.
“Then, we should go earlier than today so that we catch some crabs while we wait for the sun to set.” It’s been decided. You don’t when, but you knew it was gonna happen, maybe when Gahyeon’s schedule loosened up again.
“I wonder how many I can catch.” She said after you ruffled her pink hair. Gahyeon retaliated, trying hard for you not to ruin her hair that she had so much time to perfect just for your anniversary date. When she finally was able to stop you, she glared at you and pouted cutely.
“You won’t be able to and you’ll make me catch them instead.” You just laughed as you tried to fix her again. You know her too much. Gahyeon would say that it’s a boyfriend thing to do to catch crabs for her girlfriend and cook them—she would leverage her girlfriend card again.
“That’s rude, I can do it too.” She slapped your hand and fixed her hair herself. Of course, her slap didn’t use too much force. Gahyeon is sulky girlfriend but she doesn’t want to cause you harm.
“I didn’t say, you can’t. I’m saying you’ll be too scared to do so.” She threw punches. Again they were not hurtful, but she was throwing a real tantrum and if you don’t calm her, she will sulk for the rest of the date.
“Come, sit here.” You held her hand and pulled her to sit on the sand near where you put down the takeout food from earlier.
“Open the pizza. I’m hungry.” She ordered to which to gladly followed. As soon as the box revealed the food, her eyes widened. Gahyeon, who was almost drooling turned her mood upside down because of the luscious pizza in front of her. She couldn’t restrain herself, as she excitedly hummed before she went for a piece and ate it.
“You’ll get fat,” You commented and she nudged you while her mouth was still stuffed.
“You’ll exercise with me, don’t worry,” Gahyeon retorted and you just laughed as you too took a piece.
The box of pizza was emptied as the night went on. Conservation under the moon went by faster than normal and that’s okay. As long as it was with her, time spent was time spent well. 
Soon she decided that the cold ocean breeze was not doing it for her anymore and opted you two to leave the beach. Hand-in-hand you two went back to your accommodation for the night—a hotel near the beach and the restaurant.
The hotel room was nice. It wasn’t anything special like what most fans would thought idols were always staying in. It was a small suite with a single bed, kitchen, bath, and a balcony that overlooks the ocean. It was nice and not over the top. Gahyeon loved it. As soon as she entered the room, flopped and bounced on the bed, playing as if she still had so much energy to burn.
“Come on, our anniversary night is still not over!” Gahyeon had her arms open wide, tempting you to jump on her arms. It wasn’t an offer anyone could refuse. A woman as cute and attractive as she flopped her arms open wide on top of a fortress of pillows and mattress, there was no way you would pass on that.
It was a long night that you wish wouldn’t end.
You didn’t waste any more time to accept her offer as soon you were engulfed by her arms. You were on top of her, pressing onto her as she caressed the back of your head. Gahyeon smelled nice. Gahyeon always smells nice. Her smell made you feel relaxed, and her hug was comfortable. She gently ghosted her hand back and forth of your hair as she hummed your favorite song.
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It felt like a baby being held and hummed to sleep. It felt like heaven. It felt like home. It felt like the right place. And that place was inside her nestling hug. Gahyeon cuddled you, and you nestled back. Her voice was angelic. It was a known fact, but hearing her voice almost whispering the melodies of love, was the greatest fan service only available to you.
Your phone vibrated a few times, but you ignored it as you focused only on her and her alone. Relish the moment while it lasts. Take advantage of each second before it passes. For God JiU’s sake, it was your anniversary and nothing is more important than Gahyeon and you—it was probably just some work problem needing of solution anyway, they could at least handle it for one night.
Before you even knew it, Gahyeon finished her song.
“Thank you for putting up with me.” She whispered.
“Why wouldn’t I? I’m your boyfriend.” You answered back.
“Do you lo—”
“I love you,” you cut her before she could the question to allow her to hear the words. However, she didn’t do so after all.
“I love you too,” Gahyeon whispered before she pushed you off her and got off the bed with a mischievous smile.
“You’ll suffocate and squish me if we stay this way for long,”—Gahyeon pointed at you—“Special cuddling fanservice session is finished.”
This time you were the one to pout at her.
“No fair, I wanna cuddle more,” You complained.
“Take care of that constant vibration on your phone first while I take quick shower.” Gahyeon winked, “We’ll do something special when you come back.”
In the blink of an eye, Gahyeon disappears to the bathroom after insinuating something naughty for later. You were left in a daze for a few seconds, imagining what she meant by her words. You were only able to break the trance after a vibration.
You finally opened your phone only to be shocked by what was on the screen which made your smile turned upside down.
You quickly went down to the hotel lobby, where the message on your phone led you to find her.
“I just came back from a long hiatus and you’ll greet me with that face?” She pointed out your conflicted expression.
“Noona… why are you here?” She approached for a hug, but you were quick to step back and draw a line between the two of you.
It was SuA who you didn’t hear so much after months of cutting the connection from all of you—or at least from you. You were reluctant to talk to her.
“Why are you giving me the cold shoulders?” SuA teased as she once again approached step-by-step and you backed down for each step she took.
“Noona, stop this… what are you doing.” But she didn’t listen and forcefully tried to take your hand. Of course, you had more strength than her but being forceful to someone you cared about was hard.
“I’m taking you with me,” SuA declared as she tried to pull you, but you just didn’t let her as she pleased.
“Noona, I’m not going with you. Where? Where were you even? Where are you trying to take me?!” You lashed out at her. Thankfully, no one was around to see the scene. The older one just stared at you annoyed that you didn’t listen to her.
That standoff took a few seconds before you turned your back to walk away. You were finished with her. You were not doing this. Atleast, not on your anniversary night. You were not going to get swayed by her.
“Didn’t you say that you love me?”—her words stopped your steps—“Prove it to me now, ran away with me.” 
Turn back. Look at her. Hear her cries.
“I love you.” Beads of tears slowly fell down her gorgeous face.
“Please, say it. 
I wanna hear it again. 
Say that you love me. 
Choose me.” 
It was painful, watching her cry fully knowing that you were the reason.
“I love Gahyeon.” Three words. One sentence. One name that wasn’t her.
It was short but meaningful. You didn’t regret. You were straight. You didn’t apologize for either hurting her or not choosing her. You said it. And that broke SuA.
“I shouldn’t have let you go.” Those were the words that escaped SuA's mouth as she realized it was too late and where it all went wrong for her—where she lost. You helped her. She looked so frail. What did she even do all this time?
“Noona…” SuA wiped her tears and quickly composed herself. 
“Don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine.” SuA faked a smile and you returned it to her with a caring one.
“I’ll be off your back, don’t worry,” SuA said as she tried to walk away. You stopped her. You held her hand, but just like what you did earlier.
“Where are you going?” You asked her worriedly.
“Don’t worry, I already told Minji-yah that I’ll be coming back. I ain’t going nowhere,” She explained as she walked away.
“Let’s catch up soon.” 
She looked back. 
She smiled bittersweetly. 
“Tell me, when did you realize that you love her?” Those were her last words before she walked away and left you speechless. However, maybe it wasn’t really what she wanted to ask, but rather the words were…
“When did you realize you didn’t really love me?”
It didn’t take long before SuA was no longer in sight. And her words are still stuck in your head. When? When did you really realize it? 
Take out your phone. Stare at the picture of the woman on your wallpaper, Gahyeon. 
When did I realize I love you?
That’s a really funny question. 
But really. 
It was maybe sometime after we officially started dating. 
Honestly, I wasn’t sure yet. I knew I loved Bora-unnie or so I thought I loved her. I wasn’t sure. I was confused at that time. But I did my best to make you happy. 
To try to make it with you. 
I said I love you. We kissed already. We even had sex already at that time. I’m cruel aren’t I? I’ll probably go to hell for being a liar. 
I knew I didn't love you yet. I felt disgusted with myself. You were like a sister to me after all. And I was lying and taking advantage of your feelings for me. 
But… 
Love is a Lie. 
I said and I knew it was a lie. 
But I wished, for one day… I’ll be able to truly tell you without any lies. To be able to kiss you out of love. To be able to be one with you. To want you as much as you wanted me. 
To love you more than you love me. 
One day… 
It happened. 
It wasn’t like I expected it to be. 
It was a normal day. It wasn’t anything special. 
I just woke up and that was when I realized… 
I love you, Gahyeon. 
When I saw your face the moment I opened my eyes. You were far from your beautiful self in front of the camera. You were ugly. Your hair was like a broom. You were snoring. Your breath stinks. You were eating your hair and you had dried drool on the sides of your lips. 
You were ugly, Gahyeon. 
It made me laugh. Although, I wasn’t any better. I was just fortunate enough to wake up earlier than you. I had time to fix myself before I got called ugly by you. 
But I didn't…
I went for the kiss on your drool-painted lips. Mine wasn’t any different. 
But this time it was different. 
I kissed you because I love you. 
I love you.
Not anyone else.
How could I be so blind when you were here all along?
I kissed you again and it felt so right.
But I accidentally woke you up.
You were smiling. That was the brightest smile I've ever seen in my life. You giggled as the sun funneling through the window illuminated you.
“Your breath stinks,” you teased.
“Please, brush your teeth then come back and kiss me,” you added.
It was funny. Yours stinks too! I didn't mind it at all, and I bet you didn't mind mine too.
That morning was a drop of dew. And I just watched you with love. The way you walked around with your disheveled hair and just my shirt on. You didn't care at all. Why would you? It's just me, the man you love.
You were so lazy that I had to brush your teeth and tie up your hair. If only your fans could see you, I wonder how they would react?
You're a slowpoke, Gahyeon. I couldn't blame you though, with a schedule as busy as yours. I would use any free time to laze around.
“When will breakfast be ready?!” You exclaimed from the bathroom while I was in the kitchen. You always cared about food.
“In a few minutes, take your time with your routine!” You were sleepy and lazy but you were always so diligent. You never skip on anything. You always took care of yourself. Although, most of the time, I still had to take care of you.
Maybe, that's my job.
“Gah! Breakfast is ready!”  When breakfast was finally ready, you sprinted to the dining table. You were suddenly but then became sheepish. You took most bites with your eyes closed.
From then I took a mental note to prepare something that would help you sleep better every night before bed.
You took each bite excitedly but still sheepishly. You hummed as you ate. You always hum when you eat. It has always been an indicator that you were eating something delicious. 
“This sucks. Do you want to take cooking lessons?” That was what you right after when you literally handed your plate for a second serving. 
I gladly gave it to you. Do you remember? 
That morning was so bright, comfortable, and was fleeting. Before I knew it, you were going to leave for practice and I was going to work. 
However, I wasn’t sad because we were parting for the day, rather, I was already expecting the bliss that I would have when I finally met in the night. 
It was such a peculiar thing, but I knew right then and there when I saw your back passing through my apartment door… 
I love you. 
“I should go back to Gahyeon,” You muttered to yourself as you made your way back to your hotel room, but unbeknownst to you, you would find an empty room. You wondered where she was. Did she meet SuA? Or did she somewhere else?
You were worried. You tried to text her and also tried to ask the hotel staff if they saw a pink-haired girl roaming. You might have taken too long because of SuA and she went out to look for you.
That was when you received a reply from Gahyeon.
“Wait for me.” That was what her text message said.
Where were you Gahyeon?
“Unnie,” Gahyeon called who was waiting at the other end of the hallway for SuA. The older stopped and looked at the younger. Did she he—
“I saw and heard everything.” For the first Gahyeon admitted that she was there or that she was listening. She always kept to herself and was always patient whenever something like this happened, but tonight Gahyeon decided differently. 
“Not gonna welcome your unnie back? I just came back from a long hiatus,” SuA commented as they faced each other. Two women, who love the same men, but while the other succeeds, the other fails.
“Well, I would be happy to welcome you with a hug and a kiss but you just tried to steal my boyfriend,” Gahyeon answered with an annoyed tone.
“I didn’t try to steal him,” SuA corrected as she approached Gahyeon step-by-step. The younger stepped backward every time the older closed in up until she couldn’t, hitting the wall behind her. SuA was so closed, uncomfortably closed for Gahyeon, but she didn’t backed down.
“He’s mine to begin with,”—No one dared to break eye contact—“He loves m—”
“He loved you, Bora,” Gahyeon cut. She said so sternly and clearly, even opting not to use any honorifics. SuA bit her lip in response to what Gahyeon said. She knew deep down it was true. She just couldn’t accept it. 
“He loved you,”—Gahyeon reiterated before SuA could even retort—“What? Cat’s got your tongue? It’s true is it not?”
Gahyeon had put SuA in her place or rather, she had put her back in her place. It was harsh, but SuA was reckless. She came out of nowhere and tried to hijack their anniversary night. It was almost as if SuA went there and just hoped for the best and trusted the little hope she had. Gahyeon, on the other hand, didn’t think twice to defend her place.
“I shouldn’t have pitied y—” SuA said before biting her lip as she instantly regretted what she had said, but it was too late. Gahyeon after hearing what SuA said, had a hammer punched in her stomach. She wasn’t expecting SuA to at least not say those words. Or at least for SuA not to feel that way. Gahyeon knew her and you happened partly because SuA felt bad about her, but for it to be said in her face…
Something inside of them broke, and a bottomless pit sunk inside of their hearts.
“I don’t know you anymore.” Gahyeon pushed her, and SuA fell to the ground. She didn’t mean to push her down to the ground, just enough to put distance between the two of them. Her heart ached. Gahyeon was worried as she looked down on her as the older looked away in shame.
“Please don’t call me or him. I don’t care about our jobs. Please, I’ll find a way. Just leave.” Gahyeon walked away and SuA could only watch her as tears once again flowed out of her eyes. She knew she had not only lost you, but now she lost Gahyeon. 
Gahyeon wasn’t any better, she cried and wept as she took heavy steps fully knowing she had just cut off one of the most important people in her life. They both didn’t want for things to end up like this, but emotions cascaded like a waterfall and there was no way of stopping this. There was no way it could have ended with all parties happy—it was simply impossible.
Love takes.
Love is painful.
Love comes with a price.
Gahyeon clearly remembered. She didn’t want things to end up this way. She tried. A scenario where no one was hurt, but in the end… all of you ended up hurting. It was foolish to hope. Gahyeon wiped her tears and found somewhere to sit. She closed her eyes.
“Gahyeonie, wake up.” I opened my eyes and my eyes met with daggers of light before I saw her—the face of the person I was most jealous of. SuA, who was asleep beside me.  SuA who made love with me and my boyfriend.
“Swa, good morning,” I greeted, still half-asleep.
“Good morning, Baby.” She caressed my face. Her eyes… They looked so sad. She looked like she was in pain, but she smiled.
“What's wrong, Unnie? I asked worriedly. Although, once again I knew… I knew but I couldn't do anything. Or I wouldn't do anything. I would die if I were to give back what she gave me.
‘Gahyeonie, do you love him?” SuA said, almost choking on her words.
“Yes, I love him so much. I have loved him for so long.” Those were my words. Those were also the words that drove you like this.
I'm sorry for being selfish.
“Unnie, do you love him?” I asked her once again. The same question from the night before.
“I do,” She confessed, and tears started to flow down her cheeks, staining her pretty face. She confessed… it came straight from her mouth. Her true feelings.
“But I love you more.” Those words… I didn't even know how to react. It was so sincere.
I wiped her tears, but I was crying too. Everything was a mess, and honestly, I was surprised how you slept through all of it.
When you woke up, it was as if nothing happened. We had a pleasant breakfast but the atmosphere was so awkward.
But I didn't expect it. That was the last I would see SuA for a long time. She just left. If I knew I would have hugged her. But I only found out later on from JiU-unnie that she left the country and went on a sudden hiatus.
If I knew…
I should have known at that moment.
It was goodbye.
That is until now.
Gahyeon opened her eyes. She had calmed down. She stopped crying. She knew she had to return to your suite. You were waiting for her, but she knew you would notice her puffy eyes.
That she cried a lot.
“So much for an anniversary night,” Gahyeon muttered as she stood up to head to a comfort room before going back to the suite where you were waiting.
Soon, Gahyeon stood in front of the door. Nervous about how she would explain what happened or how to open up about the topic or how to even talk about it. She wasn't ready, but she knew you would ask.
“Please, don’t ask.” She grabbed the doorknob and turned it. As the door swung, she found you, and couldn’t help but smile as she found you pacing back and forth, worried about her. 
“Gahyeon!” You exclaimed. You saw her and ran up to her—finally relieved that Gahyeon had come back. 
Before she could even react, she was engulfed by your arms in a bear hug. Her arms enveloped back as yours tightened. Hearts were booming. You could feel it, she could feel it, every fast-paced beat booming as your hearts connected.
Gahyeon had let go. She just let it happen. She didn’t speak, she just nestled into the comfort and protection of your hug. It was her home. It was warm yet something cold on your chest countered it. It was your shirt wetted by the diamonds dripping down her beautiful face. You caressed her back, trying to lull the crying girl as Gahyeon buried her face against your chest.
“It’s okay.” Gahyeon clenched her teeth and fists, took a handful of the backside of your shirt, and bit on the fabric her mouth was able to reach. She just kept crying without uttering a word. She just released what she was holding back inside of her. 
It broke your heart seeing her like this. You couldn’t do anything but caress her back and hope that it was enough to ease her pain. Several minutes passed and she wasn’t calming down. You kissed her forehead and she looked up to you.
“Do you love me?” Gahyeon asked, her eyes pleading for reassurance as they continuously stained her face with tears. You kissed her once again, but this time it wasn’t your lips and her forehead, it was her lips and yours colliding softly for a peck. She smiled brightly. You haven’t even said the words she wanted to hear, but her eyes already lit up as if she knew it was coming.
“I love you.” The words were finally uttered and it was all that was needed for Ghayeon to wrap her arms around your neck. Pull in. Let go. Hug it. Before you even knew it, your lips collided with hers once again. Close your eyes. She captured your lips and pulled you into a longing hungry kiss. Knots were tied, and two soft marshmallow muscles clashed, moving with the rhythm of her hunger.
She was a blackhole longing for love. It was scary how a woman in pain like her craved love like this. It wasn’t a sweep inside your mouth as she playfully tickled the underside of your tongue while exploring the depths only she could reach.
Gahyeon pulled out, caught her breath, and chased once again as she lured you. She started sucking on your tongue, and you gladly let her without any resistance. She pulled and sucked. She circled her tongue around yours.
Seconds passed by and the endless exchange between lips didn’t end. Seconds became minutes, and tears already stopped flowing, but the fervent kiss didn’t end there. It started with a peck and it ended up in a torrid kiss. Eyes closed and lips glued to each other. Her arms traveled around your neck while yours gently caressed her hair.
She pulled out and a string of saliva bridged the two of you. Her eyes still brimming with hunger as yours locked with her lovingly. She wanted more and you would gladly give anything for her. 
“Do you love me?” Gahyeon asked once again. This time you were the one to capture her lips and Gahyeon couldn’t help but smile while her lips were still connected to yours. Glide from her back to her lower hips as Gahyeon cupped your cheeks as she continued devouring you.
In one swoop motion, you lifted her off the ground, resulting in a momentary disconnection between the two of you. That didn’t matter though as she was quick to clash lips once again while you tried to excruciatingly navigate around the suite to get into the bedroom almost blindly. 
You had hit several corners. Topped down appliances and broke a few glasses before you found a counter to sit Gahyeon on. It wasn't the destination, but you soon would get there but for now.
She was laughing and smiling, you were in a crazy haze. You pulled back. Eyes locked as the playful hands grabbed onto the ends of her black dress. You didn't waste any moment as her porcelain skin revealed itself as you peeled that dress off her—from the tips of her toes, her luscious legs, toned stomach, and torso. A momentary break of eye contact as the garment blocked your sight of her.
Look up and down. Magnificence exuded as inch and every corner of her felt it was sculpted by a higher being itself. Her porcelain skin felt like clouds on your palm, and the way her body subtlety reacted… each touch shivers, each touch was electrifying.
Gahyeon wasn't one to just be the one almost on her birthday with only her matching black lingerie. She pulled you by the hand, grabbed your shirt, and didn't waste any moment to remove it. She ogled at you—it was a sight for her—it was the prize that was for hers alone.
“You’re mine,” Gahyeon said, asserting her ownership over you as she bit her lips, almost drolling while eyeing you. She didn't waste any more time as she pulled even closer for another make-out session—this time more athirst. Each feathery touch made her more hungry, intoxicated, and addicted. Kisses were her morphine—each one made her forget the pain and put her on a high.
“I’m yours.” You broke the kiss. You traveled from her lips to her left ear as you engulfed her for a hug. She wrapped her leg around your hips. The distance was small. It didn’t allow any wild movement, but that was okay, being able to see her gorgeous face up close was more than enough. This time she was smiling. You had only seen it through your peripheral vision, but her lips, her eyes, they both were happy.
“Shut up, carry me to the bed, and fuck me,” Gahyeon ordered. Giggles left your mouth as you gently carried her off the countertop table. She hugged you and nestled on your shoulders. She rested and relished once again taking advantage of the comfort of your warmth.
Soon you laid her down on the bed. While you caught your breath, you took a moment to once again look at the art in front of you. She wasn’t crying. Gahyeon was happy. She was anticipating. She was like a kid waiting for her request to be granted. You could stare at her all day, but her order, you needed it as much as she did.
You smirked at her as you unbuckled your pants and stripped down to your birthday suit. She smirked back and taunted you with her body. She didn’t have any intention to remove her lingerie. She wanted you to do it. Although fucking her with that sexy lingerie still on was still also an option, you wanted her to be as bare as you were—completely naked and vulnerable.
“Why are you so lazy?” You grabbed the hem of her black thong and tried to peel it off her. It was stubborn, and her ass held on to it. You lifted that peach ass of hers that she spent so much time in the gym to achieve for a moment just to get it off, began to slowly remove it off her lips, making its way down her smooth and slender porcelain legs, and revealed a treasure, her smooth, glistening pink lips.
You wanted a taste. You wanted to tease her. So you dove right into the treat in front of you. You started with kisses up and down her inner thighs, gaining soft moans while your lips repeatedly contacted her warm skin. You planted wet kisses on her thighs again, but this time dangerously near her wet folds.
“Just do it already.” Gahyeon was already squirming. She wanted it, and a lick down her thighs, staining her pristine thighs with long licks garnered even more moans. You giggled mischievously while she was getting more and more impatient, but before she could complain once again, the first lick came in, tracing her pink slit—one long sweet taste of her wet folds. 
Teasing her might have backfired as she grabbed onto your head, and pushed you in her legs forcibly, forcing you to continue eating her. You didn’t have any choice, buried in her crotch, you accepted your fate, and her delicious pussy. Explore every corner. Reach the deepest depths. You dove in to find out how deep your tongue could reach inside her. You basked and inhaled the aroma of her pussy. You didn’t let any of her juices pass your mouth. And Gahyeon took it all in, receiving all of it, moaning and expressing how pleasurable it was all.
You let your hot breath blow against her crotch, and she whined in response. Quickly, you went in with an up-and-down motion deep inside using your tongue. She cussed, she moaned, and she quivered as you continued eating her out.
“More!” She exclaimed as if that was the cue, you put pressure on her clit. You swirled around it, gaining louder and more high-pitched moans as you ran circular patterns on it. Push and swirl. You gently pushed it with your tongue, then took it in your mouth and sucked on her clit.
Her legs squished, and her nails dug in deeper and deeper as every second passed by. She pushed you deeper in hopes that your tongue would reach deeper inside her slits. It was getting harder to breathe as minutes went by. Your head was going numb from the pain from her nails digging. Her wet pussy almost drowned you. Buried against her crotch, all you could do was go crazy, trying to taste and service her as much as you can, sucking her wet and delicious pussy as you turned Gahyeon into a squirming mess.
The only option was to tap out. You forcibly disengaged, simultaneously edging her. It wasn’t time for her to reach her climax, and it wasn’t time yet for a death by thighs head locking you. You licked your lips and caught your breath. You smirked fully knowing what you did as you tenderly caressed her thighs while she pouted.
“What are you looking at?” You teasingly snarked at her, and she glared at you before you got on top of her. You weren’t one to keep her waiting when you just edged her. And just like any other time before and now, you lined the tip of your cock up against the opening of her entrance and captured her lips for a kiss as you pushed—slowly and caringly, entering her inch by inch smoothly inside of her already soaking wet quim.
Gahyeon hugged every bit of your cock. She was perfectly wet and perfectly tight every time, and it was always cute how she was also perfectly cute, innocent, and sexy at the same time. Sex with her had always been a mix of comfort and excitement. With Gahyeon you wouldn’t call it sex, it was the ever-cliched lovemaking.
You started fucking her, slowly, sensually, and carefully. It was different from how you teased her and edged. You pressed bodies, allowing each other to relish the warmth of each other. You let her feel you gravitating against her. Gahyeon had your weight on top of her and she had always loved it. It felt like the sun, warm on the skin, but it didn't burn. Sweaty and almost smelly but it felt cold and fresh to be so close to her. Again and again, like clockwork, you slowly pull your member out from her, but as soon as your tip peeked out of her, you bury yourself deep inside her, causing a melody of her pleasure getting fill up.
“I love you,” she uttered in between her moans.
Again, pull, and push.
“I love you too.”
Now that you had built a slow and steady rhythm, you gradually upped the pace. Faster but not so sudden. The goal was to induce pleasure and not pain, pushing in but within the comfort of your lover just as she loved as both of you became moaning messes—quick huffed breaths—sounds of sex only the two of you know of. The smell of sex, sweat, and saliva lingered in the air. Moans, squelching noises, profanities, proclamations of love, and chased breaths, roared inside that hotel room, accompanied by the warmth of each other.
You started pounding her, faster and more vigorously than before. Full of vigor but full of control. A little bit rough but Gahyeon wrapped her leg around your lips nonetheless, she wouldn’t want you breaking off her while you thrust and looked at her with the desire to pleasure her. Her eyes shut close and she became louder, screaming at the pleasure of your cock.
For Gahyeon this kind of physical intimacy was a form of assurance to ease her fear. Gahyeon feels your love the most when you two are connected. Sex is the highest form of love. Sex is the greatest expression of it. The heat she was relishing, the roughness, the gentleness, the pain, and the pleasure were evidence of love. 
It was a treasure how your palm caressed her cheek underneath all that mess. After all, she was a mess and you were a mess, but there was this certain kind of beauty and order amidst all of that and only you two knew of it—only your love knew of it.
There was no time for rest as you as that climax was coming. She didn’t want you to stop fucking, and you didn’t want to either. You fucked her hard and fast. It was a high that you knew too much of. A drug that was only available for you. A medicine that heals Gahyeon and you, but keeps you addicted. It was a contradiction, amidst all that high and intoxication, being lost in the trance of pleasure, you didn’t get lost and chased the pleasure for you alone. You chased her pleasure, and she chased your pleasure, aiming to please each other.
You found her breast, still clothed in her black brassiere. You squeezed and she whined in response and quickly tried to get rid of it, reaching for her straps and setting them aside before flipping them to expose her bountiful mounds. You dove right onto it, took her hardened nippled, and suck on it while massaging the other breast. It was softer than marshmallows, it was like you were kissed by a cloud.
However, you didn’t forget fucking her, you thrust as you sucked like a baby on Gahyeon’s breast. All Gahyeon could do was to receive all of it, and hug your head, hoping it would help you eat her better. 
It was time to give attention to the unattended boob. You removed yourself from her boob and left red marks all over her breasts, and a lingering feeling of stretch on her nipple, saliva all over it. You did the same to the other boob, suckles, bites, kisses, peck, smack, smooch, and snog, all the things you could to do to make her release those lovely sounds and to compel her to hug you more tightly and to enable yourself to feel her warmth more, get buried on her breast more.
Although you couldn’t give her boob as much attention at the one as she pulled you up for a momentary rest. You made eye contact with you and chased your breath. Get pulled by her brown orbs. The tips of her lips raised, showcasing her iconic fox smile. Her eyes were as dazed as yours, but she still gazed at you lovingly before uttering the words, “Kiss me.”
“I love you, Lee Gahyeon.” You gladly complied and dove right into kissing her. Gahyeon cupped your cheeks. It was an amorous kiss you shared. A kiss to last a lifetime. One of too many. Certainly not the last but you kissed her as if it was the last. It was as sweet as the first though. You slowed down your pace to allow yourself to relish it more, the way your cock stirred her insides, the it twitches after hitting her deepest parts every time, the way it filled her, the way her lips connect to yours, the way you fuck her while you two shared a loving kiss, and the way she loves you.
Soon a knot in your loins introduced itself to you. What she was chasing for you eventually came and without breaking the kiss of the movement of your hips. You felt a built-up in your groins as her quim clenched, and tightened around your cock. It was time for her too. She tightened her hug, nails dug into your back as you slammed deep inside and pulled her out again and again until you could no longer hold it another.
One last time for the last run, putting in all of your remaining stamina. You fucked like you had every intention to impregnate her. Both of you groan in great pleasure as you let loose to release wave after wave of your thick semen deep inside her while quivered, shut her eyes, bit your lips, and bucked her hips as her orgasm collided with you. An instant climax, and delight, with her plugged pussy leaking out juices that were mixed with her fluids yours.  Her orgasm was strong as all of that built up in her stomach released a wave of ecstasy.
The high felt like forever. The satisfaction was great. Both climaxes subsided and you felt your flaccid member slipping out of her, and her pussy finally unplugged, leaked out your cum. After a few seconds of being frozen in place, Gahyeon released your lip and you let out a sigh of relief before licking the blood off your lip. You collapsed beside her and she turned to face you and hugged you as she tried to recover from the hot session herself.
“I love you too.” Gahyeon gave you a peck, resulting in you blushing. Out of embarrassment you turned your back on her, stood up to get tissues and that thing, and hid it underneath the box of tissues. You went back to the bed and helped her wipe herself and lean off the leaking semen in between her legs. She was smiling mischievously as you wiped her as if she was planning to tease you. 
“Why are you acting shy? You’re wiping as if that’s not your cum and you didn’t just eat my pussy.” Her words made you choke and she just laughed heartily. Gahyeon was back to her usual self—cheerful and teasing master. 
“I’m not, I’m just thinking about how much I love you.”
You reasoned out. It was far from what she said, but it was the truth. Looking back to all that happened, you couldn’t help but just be happy and relief that you ended up this way. It might be just a hunch but it felt like things would finally get better from here on. It was a little bit chaotic but you finally settled it with SuA. You didn’t choose Gahyeon instead of SuA. You just love Gahyeon and there wasn’t even a competition. What happened with SuA and your feelings for her won’t be forgotten, but it was a lesson. A lesson you would take as you journey with Gahyeon.
Gahyeon is love.
“Why do you have to think about that when you just have to show me?” Gahyeon gazed at you. Her eyes were full of expectation. She was looking far ahead. Looking at the things you two will do from now on. You were looking forward to it too. Gahyeon is the loveliest girl and she isn’t one to hide her love. You just hope to be more like her, and be more confident of your love for her.
“Yes, I’ll do that from now on,” You answered her. You took her hand and smiled at her lovingly. Love was truly bare. Your feelings were as bare as your naked bodies as both of you wore your hearts out. And looking at her, you knew it was time. 
You took her left hand and kissed it. Gahyeon just smiled, not suspicious of anything as you reached for the ring you had hidden earlier. Gahyeon just watched. Her eyes showed a hint of confusion. You just continued smiling. Although, maybe there was a hint of nervousness and awkwardness.
“Gahyeon…” You call for her before kissing your fist, still not revealing the ring you had inside it. At this point, Gahyeon already had an idea of what was happening. Tears formed in her eyes with the anticipation of it. And she was right as you revealed the ring. Her mouth kept agape, surprised, and couldn’t believe what was about to happen. Gahyeon’s puppy eyes were both in shock and filled with bliss. 
It felt like your heart was about to burst out of nervousness. Will she say yes? Will she decline? Those questions played in your head on repeat as you held the ring tightly. It was an expensive ring or anything that could put a hole in your pockets, but it was something more important. The heirloom ring from your mother. An old piece of gold jewelry with a humble diamond.
“Will you marry me?” You finally asked her and beads of clear crystal started flowing down her beautiful face. You let of her hand and wipe them off.
“Stop crying will you?” You said to her but you started crying also. With the ring, you imagined dreams of seeing her in that white dress, walking down the aisle while you wait for her at the altar. You’ll spend time off for a vacation, a honeymoon on the beachside—you know how much Gahyeon loves the beach. Maybe even starting your own family.
Fingers fidget, and hearts boomed. Time slowed down at that moment in that hotel room. You panicked and weren’t sure if you would wipe her tears first or wipe yours first, but you opted for a third option. You took her left hand once again, and carefully put the ring on her finger.
“Yes, I will marry you!” Gahyeon didn’t stop crying, but she didn’t seem sad at all. The smile painted all over her face said it all, and seeing that made you feel warm inside. It was burning, but it didn’t hurt at all. Neither of you stopped crying but it was okay. 
It was a beautiful moment to share. She hugged you tightly, and you reciprocated until you found yourself sharing a kiss. A lovely kiss. Then once again locked eyes, gazing at each other, ever smiling and happy.
Her smile was beautiful. Her happiness was the most beautiful thing to exist. And you’ll do anything to protect that.
Yes, just like that day.
That one cold winter night.
We were out late because of a schoolwork project. The other kids had already gone home and were the only ones to go in the same direction so we walked together. Well, I wouldn’t let a girl walk home that late at night.
We were walking and at that time, we weren’t particularly close or friends yet.
But we ended up talking.
You talked about your dreams. And I talked about mine.
It was just fun.
And maybe,
That was when I started developing something for you.
Well, I realized too late that it was love.
But maybe at that moment, I fell in love with you unknowingly.
All of you were just too beautiful.
The moon bore witness to it.
Your laughs.
Your smile.
Your eyes.
Your dream.
Your everything.
That was when Jasmines bloomed in winter.
Aletheia & Etterath
*Series End*
***
A/N - idk did I do something? i think it's bad HAHAHAH
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qu1cks1lversb1tch · 16 hours
Text
Having them as best friend's:
Multiple X Reader
Contains: Alastor, Angel Dust, Husk, Charlie, Lucifer, Vox, Velvette, Rosie, Adam, Lute, and Valentino
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ALASTOR
You're gonna have to hear me out with this one: he's down for the gossip 24/7!!!
He will listen and talk shit with you 100% and I'm not arguing on the matter.
Someone says some wack ass shit to you in public? "I beg your fucking pardon?" With like the scariest grin that fucker can muster.
You start talking to someone? He interrogates them! If they're not strong enough to survive one little interrogation with THE Radio Demon, they're not good enough to date you. Sorry not sorry.
The friendship would be violent, but in almost a sibling type relationship. If he said something absolutely out of line, you'd smack him or kick him in the back of his knees. He'd always get payback, whether it was immediately or a few days/weeks later.
You called him a 'radio faced cunt' once in front of everyone and they all mentally started planning your funeral.
Until he clapped back with something equally as interesting.
He only accepted affection from you and Rosie. And Charlie that one time.
If you had a bad day, he'd know immediately by the look on your face and wouldn't let anyone talk to you until he knew exactly what had made one of his two favorite people upset.
He'd kill them if you told him to. Just supportive bestie shit!
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Angel Dust
Let's be real, if you're best friends with Angel, you're probably equally as close with Cherri.
But just you and Angel Dust as best friend's? Shit, he's awesome.
Had a bad day? Go to his room and cuddle Fat Nuggets while you cry/rant about the days woes.
Spontaneous sleepovers BECAUSE YOU CAN!
Platonically flirting to the point that everyone thinks you're together. Neither of you deny the claims, just to keep everyone on their toes.
The words 'love you' followed by something like 'slut' or 'bitch' are common occurrences.
When it comes to dating, Angel just wants you to be happy.
But if someone breaks your heart? He'll come out with guns blazing with no hesitation. NO ONE hurts his bestie.
Platonic cuddles because you love his floof.
Would probably form some sort of marriage pact with you for fun one night when you're both wasted. "Yeah, I'd marry you if we're both still single in 100 years, Toots."
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Husk
The banter would be unmatched. You call him a furry and he'll clap back with something that makes your jaw drop before you burst out into laughter.
He'd tell you how it is, regardless of whether you asked or not.
Sure, you're his best friend, and he cares about you. . . But it's because he cares about you that he won't sugarcoat something, even if it's not something you wanna hear.
He would listen to your problems, like any good friend.
He wouldn't trust anyone you had romantic interest in, especially since the ones you always went for had some serious issues.
He'd say something like: "Don't cry to me when that bastard breaks your heart."
And you wouldn't cry to him when it happened, but he'd make you a drink and silently take care of the problem once he had one of the other hotel residents hoist you up to your room.
The next morning you'd tell him he was right and he'd smirk as he wiped down the bar, but wouldn't say anything.
He was never good with affection, so he respects your space and you respect his.
He literally always has your back, even if you don't know it. You do.
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Charlie
Honestly, you probably grew up together and that's how the two of you became best friends. (But even if you didn't, everything is still the same.)
She's the friend that's too trusting of everyone, so you easily filled the place of being the friend that questioned everyone's intentions.
You even heavily questioned Vaggie's intentions when Charlie insisted on bringing her around after finding her.
You only warmed up to Vaggie when Charlie admitted her feeling for her, to you one late evening. She was a nervous wreck, but you were always the level-headed friend.
Being best friends with the princess of Hell had some lesser known perks — invitations to high class parties, special access at LuLu World, and the most eventful sleepovers known to Hell.
Whenever you mentioned interest in someone, Charlie was the first to push you to go for it.
If it went wrong, she was always there first, telling you it would be completely fine. If it went good, she was the first to congratulate you.
She's 100% the mom friend. Thirsty? Here's something to drink. Cut your finger? "Here's a bandaid, be more careful."
A relationship similar to siblings, bit without any malice or envy. Just happy to be in each other's presence.
She literally documented everything the two of you did, since the very first time you called her your friend. She's not going anywhere.
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Lucifer
Yeah, so, everyone thinks you're dating. Even Charlie is a bit suspicious. You're not, but you had been there by his side for as long as he could remember.
When Lilith left, you filled some part of the void, not allowing Lucifer to go hungry when he spent long days in his office.
On his good days, he's absolutely there for all the tea, especially if it's PIPING HOT. "That bitch said WHAT!?"
He has no filter and will unintentionally intentionally hurt someone's feelings when it comes to you.
He protects you as fiercely as he protects Charlie, despite knowing that you're capable of protecting yourself.
The two of you argue like an old married couple, which only fueled the dating rumors. . . Until you mentioned someone you had interest in.
Bro interrogated everyone you ever liked. Can't handle five minutes with the king of Hell? Not good enough for his bestie. Keep it movin' pal.
No one is allowed to call you a bitch, but him. Anyone else tries, they'll be met with absolute SASS.
Not even joking, Lucifer would be so sassy towards people, to the point that you picked it up.
So the two of you just went around unintentionally terrorizing demons!
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Vox
You hate someone? Bet. He'll have someone spy on them and give you the real tea.
Brings you as the plus one for many major events, but bullies you the entire time. You thought you'd get five minutes of peace on your best friends arm? WRONG!
Literally throws toddler meltdown style temper tantrums when it comes to Alastor. You're usually the one who has to reboot him or just smack some sense into him.
You're both pretty level-headed most of the time, but one of you probably has a couple of screws loose. (It's definitely him.)
No one is good enough to date you. Not sorry.
If anyone looks at you wrong, they've signed their second death to double Hell.
You and Vox talk shit about everyone, especially if you've had a hard day.
If it was bad enough, he'd offer to kill the demon who dared make your day shit. He'd still listen to you though.
"Fuck that. You're not going alone." And then you have to wait 15 minutes for him to look 'good enough' to go out, even if you were powerful and just wanted to go on little walk down the street.
Body doubling. Different tasks, silence, but the comfort of having someone else in the room. Absolutely.
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Velvette
She likes you slightly more than Vox and Valentino, which is fabulous.
Weekly designated sleepover nights where the both of you unload from the week.
Someone is rude to you? Cue Vel lecturing them on how they fucked up and their career is over, but make it musical.
You went on a date with someone and didn't tell her? "I want details, Lovey! Are they an overlord too? Tell. Me. Everything."
Prepare for Hell's greatest gossip sessions, especially around the topic of Hell's cutthroat fashion industry.
She might not seem like it, but she's a good listener.
You're leaving the tower to run a small errand? Surprise Surprise, she's coming with you and turning it into a whole day, complete with lunch and shopping!
She uses you as a model sometimes, purely because she can.
Will call you a sweet name and insult you in the same breath.
Gets worried if you don't text back within five minutes. She will literally show up to make sure you're alive. You're probably taking a nap.
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Rosie
Literally the best to spend the day with. She loves walking with you or just having tea.
Much like Alastor, she would be down for the gossip, but she wouldn't go very far with it.
In terms of relationships, she'd want you to be happy, but would also threaten to eat your partner if they hurt you.
She'd be such a good listener when you came to talk about your day.
She'd even offer advice and just casually drop something like: "Listen to your intuition, darling. It'll tell you others intentions."
At some point or another, everyone questions whether you're dating or not, which both of you laugh at frequently.
She enjoys her privacy, but she also would love having you around more than others.
She would love giving platonic affection, just to make you feel loved.
Sometimes Alastor pops up and Rosie gushes about how the two of you would get along — and immediately you're just thinking how this trio would be iconic.
She doesn't care about your past, you don't care that she's a Cannibal. . . Well, she cares, but she would NEVER hold it against you!
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Adam
He literally goes out of his way to piss you off.
There's a lot of threatening and him calling you stuff like 'Sugar Tits'.
Adam annoys you to the point of you WANTING to just jump to Hell, but you never do, because he's your best friend, and you wouldn't want to emotionally traumatize him by making him think that he lost his best friend to Lucifer, AFTER losing his wives to him.
He says "Suck my dick, Bitch" AT LEAST A DOZEN TIMES A DAY. It irritates you to no end.
The banter is unmatched. He wants to get sassy? You're the SASS MASTER.
You pushed him down the stairs for fun and he didn't talk to you for two days.
He doesn't give a fuck who you date, but if they hurt you, he's taking care of them and not telling you SHIT to avoid all of that mushy feelings crap.
The two of you argue too much for anyone to think you're together.
There's NEVER a moment of silence when you're out. He's always singing, talking, laughing, or mimicking the sound of some instrument.
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Lute
She's annoyed 24/7 and you're one of the two main causes.
But she wouldn't replace you because who else would put up with her attitude and listen to her rants like you?
If you had a hard day, she'd probably make some offhand comment and then subtly try to make it better by like getting you ice cream with rainbow sprinkles or something.
She hates physical touch, so the only time she touches you is to smack you, probably for saying something very Adam-ish. "Say that shit again and it'll be worse."
She hates everyone you have romantic interest in, but let's you learn your own lessons the hard way.
Nobody could ever picture the two of you as friends, let alone dating.
She's like the sister that has it all but claims she's the black sheep of the family.
Her job comes before everything else in her life, that including you, but when she has time for you, there's usually food and shit talking involved.
She makes sure you drink water every day. She'd kick your ass if you passed out because of dehydration.
She'd give you the key to her place, but you'd never use it unless she told you to. (Like in the event she forgot her set or something)
(I've reached the 10 media limit, so just imagine a gif right here)
Valentino
He offers you a job almost weekly. You hold off on kicking his ass every single time because that's your best friend.
Derives great pleasure from pissing you off.
You don't agree with the manner he treats his employees, so you undermine him every chance you get, just to make sure they get the best treatment possible.
It pisses him off to no end, but he let's it go. He wouldn't hurt you. He couldn't, not without a whole bunch of backlash from quite literally everyone.
Whenever you start liking someone, he warns you to be careful because he knows the industry. He is the industry.
He's gossip central. Talks super exaggerated with his hands and his voice changes whenever he remembers another detail.
He's a touchy feller, that much is evident. He's always touching you in some way, but it's not sexual/romantic or violent, it's more reassurance for both of you. It's a safe middle ground.
You have to leave for some reason? "The limo will take you, but don't touch anything."
He throws tantrums on the regular and you've learned to just let them go on until he eventually shuts the fuck up and let's you speak.
He'll call you a slut and then ask if you want to get food. It's extremely clear that you're not dating lmao.
A/N: I hope this is okay! I've never written for a bunch of these characters, as I just stared writing Hazbin stuff last week, and even then, it was a small Vox one-shot and a Lucifer one-shot.
Requests are open, if anyone would wanna request something for one of these characters? I'd pull through to the best of my ability.
Part Two
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maxvkisser · 2 days
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Hi! I was thinking of a F1 request (male reader preferably) where 2 drivers (or more) like the reader and are kinda fighting for attention, flirting and generally being sweet (like bringing reader his favorite drink etc) but reader is too oblivious to realize it happening. Eventually readers best friend (I was thinking Yuki or Danny) tells him but he stays in denial, despite liking the idea. Eventually one of the others confesses and pushes the other/s to do it as well and reader gets stressed about disappointing them, but they agree they can all date him (alternate ending: he picks one and the others deal with it lmao) and it’s just a happy and fluffy ending. I was thinking maybe Max and Charles, or maybe Lando and Oscar but honestly it kinda works with any combination. Like I said it can be 2 or more drivers, and I understand if you aren’t comfortable writing because everyone isn’t always cool with this type of stuff so ofc I’ll respect it if that’s the case. Have a good day!
BOTH? BOTH! ᴸᴺ⁴ ⁺ ᴼᴾ⁸¹
summery - you are the McLaren media manager and take care of the McLaren tiktok and instagram (filming,posting etc) , so you find yourself working quite a lot with Lando and Oscar, your bff is Yuki :)
reader - male
warnings - use of y/n?
a/n- ty for the req! I decided to actually try to write a poly relationship this time so sorry if it's bad, also I chose Lando and Oscar because I wrote so many max things soz
requests are open! reblogs are very appreciated :)
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You are McLaren's social media manager, you film all their tiktoks,instagram posts and whatnot, so you're quite close to both drivers Lando and Oscar, some (your best friend Yuki) would say too close, but you never understand what he's talking about. Right now you're hanging out with Yuki in his place, you're sitting across him on the couch, he groaned and rolled his eyes at you as you put another +2 card on the table, drawing 4 cards from the deck "hey Y/N, how's the job at McLaren going?" he suddenly asked with underlying intentions you couldn't tell "it's fine,why you ask?" you answered Yuki with a raised eyebrow "oh no reasonn... you seem to get along well with the Lando and Oscar" he said while putting another card "isn't that a good thing,it's kind of my job, i don't want them to hate me" you said also placing a card down, you answer earned a shrug from Yuki "they seem to really like you" he said, you shook your head "impossible, but I'm not opposed to that" you answered while chuckling, after that Yuki dropped the subject and continued losing to you in UNO. A few minutes later Yuki decided to bring up the subject once again "So let's say you could date one of them,which one?" he asked, you rubbed your chin while thinking "hmm..can I say both?" you said, raising an eyebrow, you response earned a chuckle from Yuki "you can, but I don't think they'll like that" he said, and with that the conversation ended
You were sitting with the two drivers, scrolling on your phone trying to think about some ideas for the next tiktok video, you felt thirsty "I'm gonna go grab a glass of water" you said and stood up from the couch so it wouldn't seem like you're just walking away out of nowhere, you felt a hand force you to sit down,actually two hands, Lando's and Oscar's, you looked at them confused "I'll get you a glass of water" Lando said with a heroic voice before getting up, Oscar slightly elbowed the brit but Lando ignored that and walked to the kitchen area to get you a glass of water and returning shortly after and looking smugly at Oscar who rolled his eyes at Lando, making you think about what you and Yuki talked about earlier. Small things like that kept happening for the next few weeks, you saying you'll get something,ask for something etc, and the two boys jumping at the opportunity to provide it to you.
One day after doing some shootings for an Instagram post you were standing by yourself in a room, it was empty besides yourself, suddenly you were cornered by Lando, a determined look on the brits face "Hello, Y/N" he said, trying to make his voice deeper, you made a face and raised an eyebrow "Hello, Lando.." you said and put your phone in your pocket "I've got something to tell you!" he semi-yelled, you could tell he was kind of nervous "shoot" you said and waited for an answer from Lando "actually, Oscar also has something to tell you" he said and left, adding to your confusion as you stood there, moments later Lando came back,dragging poor Oscar with him "you go first, I'll tell him after you do" Oscar said and Lando nodded "but you are telling him, deal?" Lando said and Oscar nodded "tell me what? what's going on with you two" you asked in a confused tone "well...I think I like you,no, I know I like you, in a romantic way" Lando said first, without letting you even think, let alone open your mouth, Oscar started to speak too "Yeah, Me too, we both like you" the aussie said, leaving you shocked as you looked at them with your eyes widened "uhm...what..? you finally asked after a few seconds, you didn't know what to say, you thought about your conversation with Yuki, and how he said that the two would not want to date you at the same time, you felt a bit stressed, you didn't want to accept one and reject the other especially since you liked both of them, you train of thoughts was cut but Oscar starting to talk again "It's okay if you don't like us back, or only like one of us, but just tell us the truth,please" he said and Lando nodded,waiting for you answer "Well" you began "I like both of you, if that's fine, I just don't really know if you two would like to be in a relationship together, the three of us" you finished talking "we are more than okay with that!" Lando said enthusiastically, grabbing your shoulders and hugging you tightly, urging Oscar to join the hug. The three of you ended all cuddled up in one of their driver rooms.
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justfangirlstuffs · 2 days
Text
So Much More
Adjustment periods can be difficult, job hunting even more so. But an unexpected visitor comes to provide a pleasant distraction. (Takes place after A Saltwater Room.) You x Sea Slug Moon
Wordcount: 2900
cw: slightly suggestive
Sea Slug AU belongs to @scarredlove
“Hello, sea star,” a voice spoke from your open bedroom window, causing you to nearly jump out of your skin.
You whipped around to see Moon climbing in through your window, his red eyes gleaming bright with delight and mischief. "Moon, you shouldn't be here," you muttered, hurriedly going to your bedroom door and closing it, locking it for good measure so no one came in unannounced. Your aunt said she'd be working late, and your cousin was staying the night elsewhere but... couldn't be too careful.
It had been several days since you'd been reunited with Moon and his siblings, Sun and Eclipse. Once you had believe them to be simple if not strange sea slugs that you had loved and lost years ago. Only to discover that in truth, they were some manner of mythical sea creature. Sea slugs, yet so much more than that. More than you could have ever guessed.
Honestly, you were still getting used to having them back in your life. It had been so long since you've seen them. They were so different, and you were different too. Time had chafed you, made you rough and tender around the edges. It didn't help that you were already going through an immense transition in your life. So suddenly having them back in your life... it was a lot.
"And yet, here I am," Moon giggled mischievously, leaning on the wall near the window.
The moonlight cast his shadow on the wall and reflected on his dazzling robes, the patterns of bio luminescence drawing your gaze with their mesmerizing beauty. His eyes were shining with amusement but he didn't look like he had any bad or malicious intentions.
His voice softened a margin. "Don't be mad... I just wanted to see you.”
The words cause an undeniable, split-second lift to your mood. When was the last time someone said those words to you? It felt like forever... "I'm not mad," you said quickly, wanting to reassure him in some form or fashion. You sat back down at your desk, with the newspaper classified ads spread out before you. "You guys just have a habit of showing up without warning. It can be..." What was a tactful way to put it? "...stressful."
The antennae on his hood twitched and drooped a bit. You didn't know it, but your words did make him feel a bit guilty. After all, he was known for sometimes being very intrusive and showing up unexpectedly, even when he's uninvited or at undesirable times. He took a step forward, leaning forward over your desk but not yet invading your personal space. Though by the look in his eyes it was on his mind.
"Well...we're family, right?" he said, as if that was enough of a justification for his actions. His head tilted to the side, his expression softening as his shoulders drooped a little. "Besides... aren't you happy to see me?"
You thought about that question. Which, yeah, wild that you even had to think about it. Most people would probably find it weird; shouldn't you be able to just.... know how you feel? Yet you had to pause, and reflect, and try and identify your mental state. And then you had to find the words to express it. It was like wading through static.
"I'm not unhappy," you said finally, looking at him sincerely. "And I'm not asking you to leave."
Moon was slightly taken back by your answer, but his eyes glimmered with amusement. "Well, that's a good start." He leaned a bit further on your desk, slowly closing the gap that was between you and him. "But you're not totally pleased by my presence either, are you? You're just tolerating it, is that right?" The corners of his lips curved upwards, as if he was daring you to try to lie.
"It's not that, it's just..." You bit your lip and glanced away from him, looking down at the multitude of jobs you'd either circled or crossed out. Such a simple task, yet for you it had been a monolith chore. "I just don't feel like I'm the greatest company right now."
He let his lips thin out, the smirk was replaced by concern. This wasn't the response he was hoping for. It might not be the worst that he could have heard, but it was not the best answer he could've gotten. His expression softened, his body became less imposing and he sat down on the bed beside your desk, gazing at you whilst taking care not to cross your personal space.
"Are you not feeling alright?" He asked earnestly, you could tell he was genuinely concerned for you and not just asking out of politeness.
Wasn't that a loaded question? But thankfully at least you had an immediate source of stress you could identify and voice.
"I need to find a job." You sighed, pinching bridge of your nose and squeezing your eyes shut for a moment. "I've been applying to various places but... I keep getting rejected."
It was tiring, and it was stressful, and it was such a soul sucking ordeal. Putting in the effort, waiting to hear back, only to be overlooked or declined. Not exactly a boon towards your self-esteem.
"Why do you need a job?" he asked curiously, head tilted to the side. He was still sitting near you, his legs crossed and hands resting in his lap. It was such an ordinary position but something about it made him seem even more approachable and calm. It was a stark contrast to his usual self that often seemed impish and playful.
"Because... I need to make money. I need to help out. I can't.... I can't be a waste of space." You voice broke over those last three words, like glass shattering against rocks. Tears burned your eyes as your anxiety swelled.
Moon's eyes widened in shock at your sudden breakdown, you looked... fragile and vulnerable, yet your words had an underlying tone of determination to them. You spoke as if you were ashamed and have to pay for simply existing in this world. His expression softened, he immediately reached out and grasped your hand. His skin was soft and cool, the texture far too smooth and alien to be human, yet it felt comforting.
"You're not a waste of space," he said in a quiet voice, his long fingers carefully lacing with yours. "Not to me. To me, you're... so much more than that."
Tears dripped down your face, and even though his words didn't completely calm your fears, they were until to keep you from getting pulled under by the riptide of anxiety. Moon's touch and genuine affection was like a life preserver keeping you afloat on rough waters. You were still getting tossed, but you weren't drowning.
"Thank you," you murmured, giving his hand a firm squeeze.
"Anytime," he answered, continuing to speak in that soft and gentle way. "And also..." He hesitated for a moment, but he looked at you. His gaze was sincere and genuine, like he wanted to say something but afraid of ruining the mood. "You can always come to me when you're feeling like this. I just... don't want you to be alone during these difficult times. Not again."
That managed to bring a small smile to your face, and you sniffled, wiping your tears with the sleeve of your jacket. "I'll keep that in mind, if I ever want to pal around with a troublemaker like you."
"Aww, troublemaker, huh?" He chuckled, a mischievous grin slowly spreading across his face as he squeezed your hand a bit. "A compliment from you? What a surprise. I feel honored."
A snort of mirth erupted from you and you had to grab some tissues to clear out your sinuses before you felt a little better. Moon shifted slightly in his seat, trying to get comfortable, though it's evident that all he wants to do is to get closer to you. He gave your hand a small tug, silently urging you to sit on the bed with him. You gave a heavy sigh but decided to let him pull you away from work to plop onto your mattress beside him.
"Wanna know a secret?" he asked, his antennae twitching restlessly.
"Oh, a secret?" you murmured, giving your voice an edge of conspiratorial playfulness. "Now I feel honored."
"It's about you." The glint in his eyes was impish and his smirk indicated that he was up to something. "But don't tell anyone, alright? Keep it between yourself and your old pal Moon."
"My lips are sealed." You drew your hand across your mouth like you were closing a zipper. "So, what's the secret?"
"The secret is..." He shifted his body closer to you - close but not too close- and you caught the scent of sea breeze and something sweet... like watermelons. His gaze sharpened on you, as if he was studying every small detail about your face.
His smile was still etched right across his features and you could practically feel his excitement building up. He took a deep breath as if he was about to tell you something that was forbidden. He whispered the words into your ear.
"You're beautiful." He had finally found a word that fit perfectly for what he wanted to say, and he just had to say it. His grin brightened up into a big smile, his gaze shifting from your eyes to your lips.
Your heart stuttered in your chest and suddenly heat was overwhelming your face like you'd just stepped out into the mid-afternoon sun. "O-Oh..."
Moon observed the effect his words had on you. Your blush, your fluttering heart beat, the way your breath seemed to come out all too lightly and quickly. He took note of all of them. His smile didn't falter, neither did his gaze. He took a risk, he was now closer to you, you could feel his robes brushing against your skin, gently caging you like the most lovely and velvety cage imaginable. His hand was still gripping yours as he stayed silent, letting the moment linger. He wanted you to experience it, to savor it and to feel it's warmth.
Your heart thumped loudly at the sudden proximity and you eased back just a little bit. Even after all these years, it seemed Moon was still a cuddly little guy... except he wasn't little anymore. And your perceptions of him were vastly different from how they were when you were younger.
"H-How have you been?" you asked. It was an attempt at regaining some control of the situation, yet it was also a question that had been on your mind every since you re-discovered them.
Despite the sudden change of subject Moon didn't seem to mind. He chuckled, his fingers still holding yours, his thumb tenderly brushing over your heated skin.
"I've been alright. Though..." His voice became quieter, and you had to concentrate a bit to hear it. "I've really missed you."
"I missed you too..."
A thousand apologies got stuck in your throat, choking off your next words. You'd had no idea that Moon and his brothers had been lingering so close to home. If you had, you would have come back sooner. Instead, you had stayed away, the bittersweet memories too painful to revisit. Yet another thing to pile onto your list of regrets.
He nodded and a brief flash of concern crossed his expression, as if he could sense the guilt in you. "You don't have to say it, I know." He smiled, a slight pity in it. This moment was no longer filled with light or laughter, it was heavy and full of regret.
"The past years... have definitely been hard on all of us," He finally said, breaking the silence that had settled between the two of you. "Especially to you."
You shook your head, already guilty that you'd managed to bring down a pleasant mood. "I'm fine. I've been... managing." That felt like such a lie. You didn't feel like you've been managing at all. "Really, I'm... I'm dealing with it. I'd much rather hear about you."
The fact that you tried to dismiss the conversation with a quick 'I'm fine...' made him feel even more pity for you. He noticed your reluctance to talk about it. You were still dealing with something and you weren't ready yet. You needed more time, and that was something he was aware of.
"Can I ask you something?" he asked, his voice softer, gentler than before. He looked at you, and you could see that he took your feelings more seriously.
"Of course," you said quickly, eager for a change of topic. Eager for something to distract you from the heavy weight that seemed to constantly be anchoring you.
He shifted his body again, his long legs now crossed over each other, his robes fanning out across the bed like a gleaming river or waterfall. His eyes scanned every part of your face as if searching for something. Finally, he took a deep breath, then spoke again.
"You know, I thought I'd find you so different. You had been gone for so long, I thought you were going to be..." He broke the silence again. "Different."
A burble of laughter erupted up. Though it was more of an expression of surprise than actual mirth. "You mean I'm not?"
"No... not really." He shifted once again, now leaning slightly closer, his eyebrows curling upwards with curiosity. "I think you're still you. I was expecting to see a complete stranger here. But you're still you. Everything that I remembered is still there. You're still adorable, you're still kind, and you're still so very warm." He smirked, his gaze was now intense as he stared at you closely. "Are you still ticklish, though?"
Your eyes widened and before you could react Moon pounced. You feel back on the bed, squirming as Moon began tickling you. "Moon! Moon! Stop! I can't... Noooooooo!" You screeched between fits of laughter as you kicked and squirmed.
Moon laughed, amused by the sight. He began to tickle you ruthlessly, his fingers quickly exploring every inch of your stomach, sides, and even underneath your arms. His laughter became so intense that he almost couldn't breathe. "I've missed doing this to you so much, little crab," he confessed between giggles. "And I missed the noises you make."
He eased up a bit and you had a moment to catch your breath, wheezing and giggling as you stare up at him. You were entirely sure what he meant. Was he referring to the times when you would take him out of his tank and let him crawl along your arms and neck? That had to be it.
"You are such a gremlin," you muttered, but the comment was said with affection. A lot had changed but... it seemed Moon wasn't all that different either.
"The cutest gremlin you'll ever meet," he replied, his voice dripping with mischief.
Moon leaned down towards your face, his hands still on your stomach as he gave you a big smile. He giggled with you, both of you were red in the face from laughing and from being tickled, and yet the two of you seemed so happy at that moment. He shifted slightly, trying to get a bit closer to you, his hands gently moving to your legs.
He leaned down, his face close to yours. "You know what I miss the most?"
The mood seemed to suddenly shift, and like the lurch of a car turning too quickly, you found yourself a little unsteady as you stared up at him. "Wh-what?" you spluttered out.
"Your scent," he said, his voice was very quiet and calm. He had moved even closer, he was breathing out in hot puffs on your face, and you could see his chest rising and falling. His gaze went down as he looked at you, his hands were still firmly on your legs, but he had made no sudden movements.
“Your taste.” Once again, one of his hands found yours, effortlessly threading them together as though that were their natural state. There was a calmness in the still, the air was heavier, a bit more intense, but not in a bad way. His voice was very soft and sincere, almost as if he was trying to tell you something.
"And your kisses," he finally said. This moment was finally ripe, it gave him the chance to see if you were still open to the idea. He was now even closer to you. His gaze pierced through yours, as if looking for an answer in them.
Staring up at him, you found yourself at a loss for words. He couldn't possibly mean what you were thinking, right? Sure, you used to kiss him. But he'd been just a little slug you could hold in the palm of your hand. But now he was... he was... what?
Before you could say or do anything, a stream of water shot across the room and hit Moon in the face, splashing against his cheek. You jumped as Moon hissed in surprise. The both of you looked around to see his brother, Sun, standing in your room with a squirt bottle in his hand and a far too wide smile on his face. To be continued...
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corollaservant · 2 days
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False Alarm // Kenjaku x f!reader (18+)
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Synopsis: He never smoked. But then again, he lost himself along the way.
Warnings: noncon/ hesitantly dubcon, sex, fingering, smoking, signs of panic attack, degradation, violence, deception, humiliation.. Kenny stuff. (don't hate me, Kenny is the perf man for dark concepts)
The last time you saw him was in 2007. He seemed narcotized, sedated for some time, looking like he woke up and slept -if he ever slept- out of necessity, his lips on yours felt foreign and a burden would always accompany him. You hadn’t ever asked, what would you even say “Hey, is everything alright?’’ and what was he supposed to answer? ‘’Yes, everything’s fine’’. Not like it’d be the truth anyways. The last night you saw him was in 2007.
It was around 3AM when he entered the bedroom, smoke filled the room as you looked at him. He never smoked, apart from some earlier mischief with his best friend as he sat next to you.
‘’Have you been smoking?’’ you quietly asked him as he sighed.
‘’Yes, had to give Shoko my lighter today and figured I might as well have one myself’’
He spoke so calmly, like everything was alright, like everything was like before.
The next day you woke up in an empty bed with a lighter to your nightstand. There was no letter or note as he exited your life and never came back.
-
It wasn’t like you didn’t know. He never intended to hide his actions, never once tried to stay undercover, intentions loud and clear and if you weren’t to find out from various newspapers and media outlets covering the crimes, a visit from his best friend would suffice. You hadn’t reacted much really, usually pain hit when you least expected it, not when Gojo would list you the heinous crimes but when you were in the snack aisle holding your groceries and saw his favorite crackers, silly things really. Ache was a funny thing.
10 years went by and your routine had not once diverted, home, work, home. Most of your friends stopped contacting you for a night out, seeing how you’d decline each and every time and you didn’t really blame them. They most likely wouldn’t understand. The door was unlocked when you entered the apartment floor and your heart sank. A domestic burglary was the last thing you wanted, shit, you didn’t even care about any belongings, his lighter was always with you and there were no prized possessions in the once shared apartment. But you were exhausted.
A figure stood facing the window next to the bed, wearing what seemed like a kimono over a robe that people 2500 years ago wore and sandals– enjoying a cigarette as you froze.
‘’W-what are you doing here?’’ you asked, fear stricken and ready to dial the emergency number when your heart skipped a bit.
The figure had his hair, what was going on?
‘’Did you miss me?’’ a soft honeyed voice that made your skin crawl said as Suguru turned to look at you. Your eyes widened and you backtracked, colliding with the wall behind you as you dropped the bag you were holding and screamed.
‘’Who the fuck are you?’’ you yelled as you saw a line of stitches sloppily circle around what used to be your lover’s forehead. He had his hooded eyes and smile but you knew better. Whoever this freak was could never imitate the laced with care and love words that escaped Suguru’s mouth. Before he left. Before–
‘’What the fuck do you want? What the hell did you do to him?’’ you spat, the more you talked, the more a sarcastic smile crept up his mouth, deforming what used to be the prettiest smile in the world.
‘’I wouldn’t call if I were you’’ he inhaled a puff and tossed the cigarette mindlessly out the window, as he approached you.
Your hands were frozen, you wouldn’t have been able to dial anyone either way, when he spoke again.
‘’Funny things, the memories, aren’t they? I had this feeling today you know..’’
‘’Where is he?’’ you cried, as he sighed.
‘’Please don’t interrupt me, he’s dead, what do you mean where is he? As I was saying..’’
His words made your knees sting, as you fell to the floor, choking on a cry, it wasn’t like you didn't try to register his death, but the spitting image ahead of you felt like you were atoning for sins you never committed. It was too much, too painful, too–
‘’I had this, let's call it.. innate feeling to smoke today.. and visit you. Matter of fact, my feet dragged me all the way here so I was curious to see what the fuss was all about.’’ he spoke. You didn’t understand a word but wished for the nightmare to end as you closed your eyes.
‘’Yeah.. I kind of get it now.. you look nice after all. Do you smoke?’’ he asked, bringing himself even closer, the apartment was small and he had you touching the wall, the shadow of his Kāṣāya casting a dark light in front of you.
‘’I- i don’t smoke’’ you cried and continued ‘’p-please, leave..’’ not bothering to look in his eyes, these eyes that used to make love to you, hug you and gently wash your hair, bring you tea in the morning, wrap around your waist–
‘’Oh, that’s too bad’’ he whispered, smirking as he noticed your bowed head.
‘’Mind looking up?’’ he asked but didn’t really wait to bring his finger, a cold sensation against your chin and lift it to look at him.
‘’Be honest. Isn’t this my best work?’’ he said as your eyes trembled, tears running down your cheeks and your heart beating out of your chest, the emotions creating a bile at the back of your throat.
‘’Would you kiss me?’’ he asked rhetorically, it wasn’t like he cared about your opinion, it was more like he was asking himself, experimenting whichever torture he had in mind as you sniffed and felt a strong hand travel down your neck, pinning you to the wall.
‘’Well.. it doesn’t matter really, cause you wil now.’’ he said as his mouth attached to yours. Soft lips. Same feeling. The memories. Your lips parted to cry and he squeezed the sides of your neck, blocking the air and sliding his tongue in your mouth.
This wasn’t Suguru and you weren’t supposed to be kissing him. This wasn’t his hair, his mouth, his eyes albeit your heart racing and a known sensation flooding your chest. His breath was hot as he growled and you squirmed, tears soaking him.
‘’S-stop’’ you whined, thinking back to all the times you thought Suguru leaving you, abandoning you was the worst thing that could’ve happened to you. This couldn’t even be compared. This was living hell.
‘’P-please I- i will not tell anyone, I-I’ll do whatever you want me to do– just–’’
‘’Then be silent cause you will be doing what I want regardless’’ he smiled, the same sinister smile and you started breathing heavily, shit, this wasn’t good, this always signaled a panic attack. You had these more frequently than before. Ever since he left. You started sweating, feeling chills, particularly in your arms as you struggled to breathe.
Two strong arms cupped your face and turned it upwards.
‘’Shh.. darling I’m right here’’ the idol of the man you used to love gently whispered as you looked in the dead eyes in front of you. The voice honeyed and soft as the words he purred soothed you and you closed your eyes.
‘’Come here’’ he said and brought your body close to his, embracing your trembling limbs as you sighed, the danger having left -your heart beating irregularly nonetheless.
‘’Good’’ he said as he took a deep breath.
‘’Now let’s continue’’
-
A finger was brought up against your entrance as the intruder’s body hovered above you. You were moved (thrown) to the bed, begging in silent whispers for him to leave, for the torture to end but to no avail. He was kissing you, kissing you with his tongue leaving a saliva string each time you opened your mouth to protest, beg, promise to do anything but this but he’d had enough, he loved a good theater act but pretending to be him to calm you down just so he could fuck you had wasted his a lot of his time.
He caressed your core through your panties, your dress was lifted up as he slid them to the side, trailing two fingers against the folds, you had been fighting the feeling, fighting for your body not to betray you, fighting for your eyes to not involuntarily close each time his disgusting mouth kissed you. Whenever you closed them, you thought of him, the mouth felt all too familiar and you couldn't help it. Fluids smudged the fabric and fell down his fingers as he smirked.
‘’Such a good girl, no need for me to help a lot here I see.’’ his wicked grin caused you to scream, shit, maybe if you cried for help someone would listen, someone could save–
A slap took your breath away, vicious and hard as your cheek burned from the pain.
‘’Be quiet pretty, I don’t have all day’’ he said fondling your cunt and pushing the fingers inside you as you tried your best not to moan.
‘’Please!! ugh Stop!’’ you wailed but he was moving them harshly inside you, squelching sounds from the contact almost covered up the noise you made.
‘’So..so filthy and wet, fuck, what would your boyfriend say seeing you soaking someone else’s hand, huh? Disgusting..’’ he spoke with disdain as you cried and tried to not feel the guilty pleasure that took over your core.
‘’I think we’re good now, don’t you think?’’ he said as he got off you, your eyes trying to look around for exits while trying to have him within your peripherals.
You could escape, you could leave, right?
The moment your body dared to stand up while he was taking off his kimono, you were thrown back to bed, head crashing against the steel of the bed frame as a sharp pain made you wince, almost losing eyesight.
Yet..he continued.
‘’Don’t be that dumb, please’’ he sighed as his cock was brought out, stiff and long, sitting upright on his abdomen, as the tip leaked his precum, a revolting sight but his body reminiscent of Suguru’s made your heart flutter.
The paranoia of the predicament messed you up, it felt like a torture, a dichotomy between love and hate, you wanted to spit on him, kick him and escape, hell, you wanted to slash his throat but each time your gaze was brought to his sinister stitches, the reminiscent features made you ache, sob and long for the all too familiar face.
‘’Get off m-me, please’’ you cried as he parted your legs and brushed his slit against your cunt, tapping it against the tiny nub of your clit while a moan escaped your lips and you brought your hands to your mouth.
‘’Stop!’’ you pleaded, the feeling there not aligning with the disgust in your mind but he continued.
‘’I love it when you beg, you look so pretty’’ he softly whispered as his cockhead thrusted swiftly in your trembling cunt, jerking and making your already aching head hurt even more.
The sensation was overwhelming as his weight fell on you, cock stayed within your walls for a couple of seconds before he grabbed your hands to get them off your mouth.
‘’Now, you don’t wanna be silent, do ya? This is the best part!’’ his eyes gleamed as his stiff cock slid in and out of you fast and he groaned.
‘’Fuck, I can see why he loved you so much, taking me as if we were meant to be..’’ he said as you closed your eyes, trying to ignore the stinging pain, not in your core, in your chest.
‘’I want to hear you, come on girl, moan for me I know you want it’’ he rammed in you, as you let out a loud moan, teardrops falling off your eyelashes to the bed as he tilted his hips into you, it was too much.
‘’P-please’’ you begged and he continued, a finger against your swollen clit rubbing in circular motions but his pace never faltering, as your cunt squeezed him in, clenching tightly around him.
‘’Shit, little slut’s enjoying herself?’’ he hissed and you cried.
‘’S-suguru.. s-stop, please agh I - I love you’’ you called out your past lover’s name as he laughed.
‘’Stop calling for your dead man, he’s not coming back, silly’’ he snarled, thrusting upwards, groping your chest as you withered under him, what felt like an orgasm slowly threatening to come out your tormented body. Your head hurt and eyes felt dry with no more tears left as you now only used broken words for help.
‘’S-stop I- I- ugh–’’ you mewled as your cunt spasmed.
‘’Come on this cock– shit, be a good slut for your boyfriend, sweetheart’’ he groaned, feeling himself close, the sight of your hands trying to throw him off arousing him even more, such a cute little thing you were, he didn’t wonder why he liked you.
‘’S-suguru–’’ was all you said as you came undone on the man’s cock, your clit twitching and core releasing fluids on him as he continued, like an animal with crazed eyes and a gaping mouth, a proud look on his face.
‘’S-so filthy doll, he'd– agh.. be so proud..’’ he grunted and you felt a palm grabbing your neck and choking you with a firm grip, so not to moan or cry anymore. He came in long spurts, shooting his cum inside you and praising you further. The foreign sensation stirred your insides.
You were still unable to breathe as you felt him soften and the sickening palm was removed from your marked neck when he idly got up.
He grabbed a cigarette pack from a tailored pocket in his kimono and moved to the window while you were left in a puddle of bodily fluids, trembling and feeling the metallic taste of blood run down your face.
‘’W-why did you come here?’’ you managed, voice hoarse as he turned around.
‘’I felt like having a smoke.’’ he replied. His face despite the wickedness looked serene, eyes crinkled similarly to his, as he smiled and continued.
‘’Could I have my lighter please?’’
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We won't be like them.
Ghost x Reader.
Mistakes were made in the past by your families, now, you and ghost are starting a family, and this situation takes both to reconsider if you will repeat the same paths that your families took or will you fix it.
Warning: grammatical and spelling errors, I think there's no mention of the reader's gender but if there's please forgive me.
The credits of the pics belong to @ave661
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Simon wasn't at home but he would arrive soon, both have been trouble, arguing frequently for the most stupid things.
It's late at night, your newborn is sleeping, after hours of singing lullabies, walking around the house to help him to sleep, he's finally sleeping.
You were a mess, you didn't take a shower, dirty dishes are awaiting you in the kitchen, the laundry is still in the washer since you didn't have time to put it in the dryer, dirty diapers are making the house smell bad, and your poor baby cried for hours and hours, it wasn't a good day for you, you just need ten minutes to rest.
You're sitting close to the crib when the door opens and then a bark echoes around the house, you stand up and run out of the room quickly to ask Simon to take the dog out or keep it in silence but then your baby starts to cry.
«Shit» you whispered walking back to the room, taking your baby in arms and talking him softly to try to calm him down «it's okay baby, shhh, it's all alright, don't cry please, shhh, shh...» Ghost rapidly understands the reason the baby's crying, he takes the dog to the garage and goes directly to the baby's room to help. Unfortunately your face says more than necessary, you're not happy.
- I'll take care of him, go to rest.
- As if I could...
You rolled your eyes. He can't be mad at you, he knows he messed up.
- Sorry... the mission took me more than expected, please let me help you with him.
- It's fine, I have it under control, take a shower you stink.
He sighs and leaves the room, walking through the house he observes all the mess, toys scattered, the smell of poo and dirty dishes, the laundry. He really can't blame you, you stayed alone with a newborn for days, but he can't avoid feeling overwhelmed by all the mess and the situation, he never expected to have a family because of both pasts but here he is, husband and now father, it's all new for both of you, but moments like this makes him wonder if you and him took the right decision.
He took a quick shower and as soon as he finished he went directly to the laundry room and put all the wet clothes in the dryer and put another load of clothes, he thinks the least he can do right now is try to help with the workload, even if he feels tired he knows you must be more than exhausted.
Poor Simon, he forgot to separate the baby's clothes from the rest, then he washed the dishes but he forgot to sterilize the feeding bottles.
Finally your baby is sleeping peacefully again, you are tired but you have work to do, maybe Simon is hungry or needs something, the poor man didn't have intentions to wake up the baby, it wasn't very polite of you to reject him and then tell him he was stinky.
On your way to the kitchen you started to clean a little, taking the bags of dirty diapers out, picking up the toys when you hear the alarm from your dryer, Simon tried to help after all you said, you're taking out the clothes when you notice the washer is also working and unfortunately there's clothes from the baby mixed with yours and Simon's clothes.
You're walking to the kitchen to tell Simon he forgot to not mix the laundry when then, the feeding bottles are mixed with the dishes and casseroles too.
He's drying and ordering all the kitchen stuff with the same dishcloth.
- What are you doing!? Simon you mixed the baby's stuff! Oh god, do you have a clue of the new load of work your adding me! I will have to wash and sterilize all the baby's things again!
- Sorry... I was trying to help, I forgot about it.
- «Sorry, sorry» is all you know to say but the damage is done! Fuck!
- Calm down, I'll take care of it.
- You have done more than enough, why don't you go to another long mission and leave me alone again, huh?
He's shocked as much as you, you know you said something really horrible, there's no way you can step back.
- What did you say?
- I'm... Ahhh, Nothing, I'm just tired.
- Do you think I went to that bloody mission to leave you here alone with the baby? I didn't want to but it was work and I can't reject it.
- What about the paternity permission?
- I would have the authorization after this mission, I told you about it but it seems you weren't paying attention.
You scoffed, clearly offended and annoyed.
- Well sorry, I'm worried about our newborn, it's my first time with a baby and I'm trying to do it well, you could also pay more attention when I told you I don't want to mix our stuff with his.
- I forgot it, okay? I'm as tired as you! I said I will fix it and you started to argue!
- I wouldn't start if it wasn't for you and that god-damned dog barking as crazy! Your son hasn't slept the whole day and you arrived doing all that noise!
- and am I supposed to know that!?
- Don't yell! You will wake him up Simon!
- It's you who's yelling!
- Now it's me? You're blaming me for everything just like my dad did to my mom!
-And You're exploding against me just like my father!
Both stopped when the little boy started to cry again. Ghost just walked out of the kitchen and went upstairs, you stayed there cursing yourself and started to wash the bottles again, then you went to check the washer and separate the clothes.
Your son cried for a few more minutes but then stopped. You finished all the stuff you had pendant, you saw Simon's backpack In the doorframe, there was probably more laundry inside so you took it and just as you expected, more dirty clothes, you were separating it by colours as usual when you saw his uniform with fresh blood. You sighed annoyed but then the thought of Simon being injured kicked your mind, you put the clothes in a bucket with some hydrogen peroxide to quit the blood easily and went upstairs.
Simon was putting the baby in his baby crib when he looked at you and made a signal to be silent. Once both are out of the room you point to the bathroom, he doesn't say nothing and follows you.
- Are you hurt?
- What?
- I saw your uniform with blood, is it yours?
- Oh, it's nothing, the medic helped me, I'll be better in a few days.
- Let me see, do we need to clean the wound or something?
- It's fine Love, nothing serious.
Your eyes are full of tears, you feel guilty, he tried to help with all and his wound and you didn't do more than yell at him.
- I'm sorry Si, I didn't mean to explode with you, I was stressed you arrived at home expecting to have some peace and instead of it you found all the mess, I'm so sorry.
He just hugs you and whispers «it's okay my love, shhh, it's ok» once you stop your tears you check on his wound, it's not so bad but was bleeding a little bit more, you were cleaning it when he spoke.
- Look at me, love, I know you're exhausted it wasn't my intention to give you more work, I really was trying to help you.
- I know, I'm sorry... We... we have to solve these things now before that boy starts to grow up, I don't want to give him the same childhood we had, I want to give him a good family, good memories and we're not doing it well lately... We argue all the time and I think the baby feels our stress and then he stresses too... We're bad parents... We are not doing it right.
- I know, we have things to solve, and I want to tell you I have all the intention to fix it, we're new to this, it's also not fair for us to put us expectations of being perfect all the time. we can... Read about parenthood or look for professional help, we will do all in our possibilities to change and be better, it won't happen from night to morning it'll take time, we won't follow our families steps, I promise you I will be a better husband and a good father for our son.
You smiled at him and he returns the smile, you love when he does it, Simon never smiles except when he's with you, nobody else. His smile is only for you and now for your little boy, his words reassure you, he's right it'll be a long process but you will make it, this new family will work.
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strwberri-milk · 3 days
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Okay, so- I saw a class about student desertion and it gave me a HUGE idea on Alhaitham x reader. Where reader is mostly oblivious to Alhaitham being a big shot in the Akademiya and thinking he was just some scholar more. They were very friendly until knowing, when they start to subtly take distance from him, who notices and doesn't understand much about the reason. The reason being insecure reader who diserted education because of family economy problems and now they feel ashamed because of that.
It would come from the headcannln that there are 3 types of people in Sumeru: Scholars, Non-scholars, diserted non-scholars. The lasts ones being seen more poorly like in actual world.
So the main thing would be how would Alhaitham deal with reader trying to distance themself because of that?
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Al Haitham isn't someone who's bothered by what people think he should think. It's garnered him a bit of a reputation for being eccentric but it also explains how he's always able to maintain true impartiality when deliberating on situations.
You were able to grow closer to him, keeping him company and listening intently to whatever it was that he was currently researching or reading about. Your genuine interest for learning made it much easier for him to talk to you, enjoying the conversations you had.
One day while working you overhear people whispering about Al Haitham. He seems to have come down to the markets for the day and your eyes widen as you slowly realise why it is that people are talking about him. You had no idea that he was the Acting Grand Sage, thinking he was just a scholar who was busy with a multitude of projects.
From that moment forward you distance yourself from him. You can't bear the thought of him looking at you the way that some of those other scholars do, wanting to remember him as the slightly cold yet somehow kind man.
He didn't know what to make of your sudden disappearance, deciding that if that's something you want from him then he'll respect your wishes. If he sees you out and about he'll come up and try to talk to you a little bit about what happened but if you keep insisting on keeping distance then he'll respect your wishes and practically disappear out of your life.
If you actually talk to him about what you're struggling with then he'll take your words into careful consideration. You see the way he rolls his eyes at the thought of looking down on you just for the reason of not being a fellow scholar and tells you that that's not something he's concerned about.
You'll have to make a bit of effort if you decide you want to keep him in your life. He isn't going to go out of his way and cross boundaries if you don't want his company. He stays true to his word and doesn't treat you any differently than before, making you feel better about your decisions. He understands why you did what you did and he'd never hold it against you.
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buddiebeginz · 2 days
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You know I think I find this kind of thinking even worse than people who just never liked Buddie to begin with. People who claim to love Buddie or who were Buddie shippers and who are now trashing Buddie just to prop up Buck/T*mmy are literally some of the worst.
I think everyone should be allowed to like and ship who they want. I'm not a multishipper so I don't ship Buck and T*mmy and I'm not the biggest fan of T*mmy in general but I do see the significance of him in Buck's story.
What I don't get is how so many of you have become so enamored with a ship from very little buildup that you don't care anymore about how important Eddie coming out and Buddie becoming canon is. Also that you'd go back on all of your opinions on Buddie and the history they've shared.
The fact is Eddie coming out as gay is incredibly important. Just as Buck coming out as bi is ground breaking in it's own way and increasing much needed representation for bisexual characters, a character like Eddie coming out would also be ground breaking. Eddie is older, a veteran, Mexican, a single dad, struggles with mental health issues, a firefighter, fits a model of stereotypical masculinity, etc. There are so many people who would be helped to see a character like Eddie have a queer awakening in ways that are different than Buck's.
Buddie becoming canon is also equally as important as the coming out storylines for Buck and Eddie. I know people keep trying to say it's not and keep hating on anyone who dares to talk about Buddie along with Buck's bi awakening but it all matters.
It's not that Buddie has to happen for Buck and or Eddie to be queer but it should. I could write a novel on the history that is shared between these men. They are so much more than just friends honestly not sure how anyone can even see them that way. If you compare them to any other friendship on the show there is so much more there. They also know one another and are there for one another in ways no one else is. Buddie already has this epic love story built up it's why so many of us are waiting for them to reach that next level of their relationship.
Buddie would also be groundbreaking in their own way if they make it a canon ship. We have never really had a slow burn queer romance especially not with two men figuring out their sexuality later in life like this and on a primetime show. It's also not just about Buck and Eddie it's about Christopher too. We've watched Buck and Eddie basically co-parenting together for six years. It would be so amazing and important to have Buck actually recognized as Chris' other dad.
I just don't get how you can watch these men loving and supporting and fighting for one another over six long years and then trash their relationship because one of them kissed someone else and call this new guy basically his soulmate. We don't even really know T*mmy or how a relationship with him and Buck might work out because they're not even in one they're just dating.
I don't get anyone who can't see how Buddie being canon could literally change how queer ships are written in the future. We deserve to have our ships written with the same passion and care as straight ships have been. Also don't say you love Buck and then say you want his endgame love to be some guy you don't even really know. He deserves an amazing love story like the other characters have had on the show. He deserves Eddie who has fought and screamed and chosen him time and time again. Who has literally made Buck Chris' other dad, even put it down legally in writing for all intents and purposes because that's how much Eddie trusts Buck and how much he means to him.
I know the show runners/writers don't let fandom stuff influence all the decisions they make but it has some sway because I fully believe our love for Buddie has helped push things to where they are now. It does seem there is a plan already in place for Buddie to be canon but things can always change in shows I mean Tim said he was still writing and filming episodes. All I know is if the more vocal Buck/T*mmy (endgame) shippers do anything to help derail Buddie happening I'll never forgive you. I'm sure I sound ridiculously dramatic here but this isn't just about me not getting to see a fictional ship. Buddie going canon and Eddie coming out mean so much more and I'm sorry some of you can't see that.
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It is beyond dumb and annoying as fuck when people look at characters who're in intergenerational friendships and immediately jump to pedopjacking the older character even if their dynamic is healthy because it blatantly overlooks WHY kids and adults being close friends can be bad.It's not a problem on it's own,the problem is a lot adults don't actually care about kids or are fucking ped0s and the solution isn't not let them interact except relatives fullstop,it's to teach younger how to identify predators so they can stay away from them and pretty much nobody who's insistent on the thing i'm talking about does it!In latino cultures like mine,it's normalized for children and older folks to be close even with no blood relations to form a stronger and safer community and it's also normalized to tell kids that it's wrong for adults to view them sexually(admitedly,this is sadly not universal but there's tons of latino regions where pedophiles are considered not people)
Kids and adults CAN have real friendships but it's important for the adults in them to establish proper boundries and not use the younger person as a therapist and in fact,it should be the other way around because it's the job of older people to be positive figures in younger ones lives they can count on and since i'm an eldest sibling who's always gotten along with their little siblings,i enjoy hanging out with and taking care of younger people and not expecting adult behavior from them because that's what my s/os and adult friends are for!It's also a personal thing for me because i got bullied growing up and had absolute ass adults all around me so this is my way of breaking the cycle of abuse by being the person for my bio siblings and my intergenerational friends i wished i'd had and i see the latter as my siblings too(and vice versa)since it's a culture thing i was raised in to see your friends as the same as family
'Why would an adult be close friends with a kid?That's weird!'Because kids are people with feelings and personalities of their own and not 'puritans' or 'stupid' or 'losers' or 'taking up space' or 'should know better even if they weren't taught better' and some of us reacted to experiencing child abuse by growing up to care about kids because we were once them too and the fact that you'd rather believe nobody could ever love a child in a familial way without abusive intentions says a lot about you with how you treat them in general,hope this fucking helps bitch!!!!
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Im bored as hell so heres a short SMG4 x SMG3 oneshot (idk what to name it)
(Kinda angst? Not exactly, it also mostly includes some wholesome fluff too; takes place after the events of the Puzzlevision movie and references IGBP, so spoilers for that ig lol)
(Also its really short)
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SMG4 was out for a walk, late in the evening outside of the castle. He was lost in thought - a lot of things were eating him up inside his mind since the day Mr. Puzzles took him and his friends and forced them to perform in his dumbass shows.
Just one thing was going through his mind.
When Mr. Puzzles showed him his corrupted behavior when he was going through the phase where he absolutely had to make the perfect video ever.
"Who knew that you could make such a great villain?" Mr. Puzzles had said.
He really did become a villain, didn't he..?
That was an entire year ago, and he still regretted his choices and still beats himself up over moments like that.
SMG4 stands in places and observes the pebbles on the ground.
"SMG4?"
The familiar voice surprised him. He turned around, and not too far away from where he stood was SMG3, holding his beloved Eggdog.
"What are you doing out and about at this hour?" SMG3 asked.
"I could ask the same to you?" SMG4 said in return.
"I always let Eggdog roam around at this hour," SMG3 said, putting Eggdog on the ground, as he hops off. "It's quiet out. No one, specifically Mario, is up at this hour to disturb our peace. It's real nice. ...Why are you out here? You're rarely out and about this late."
SMG4 sighs. "I've had things on my mind, and I thought touching grass would clear my head, y'know?" He chuckles.
SMG3 begins expressing concern, but is very quick to hide it. "What's up?"
SMG4 observes the ground. "Do you realize that I went through that... 'absolute perfection' phase over a year ago? Can you believe it's been that long?"
"Oh, shit," SMG3's eyes widen. "Time really flew by, huh?"
"...Yeah."
SMG4 stares sadly at his castle, not too far away.
"To think that something so impressive and monumental... wouldn't be here if I didn't do something so dumb."
SMG3 worriedly steps closer to him, realizing what's up.
"Is Mr. Puzzles' comment bothering you?"
SMG4 looks at 3. He nods.
"I just... hate the fact I was so selfish that I ended up hurting the people I cared for most," SMG4 says, blinking back tears creeping through his tearducts. "I didn't want to be a villain, I never wanted to..."
SMG4 buries his face in his hands. SMG3 inches closer, holding out his arms, but ultimately deciding against putting hands on the person considered his rival, so he lowered his arms.
"I never considered you a villain, SMG4."
4 looks up at 3.
"You were blindsighted, but the stupid keyboard corrupting you up was out of your control," says SMG3. "You are a dumbass, not a villain. You never had malicious intent. Mr. Puzzles is wrong and we are all thankful he's dead. He was such a sicko-"
SMG3 gets cut off, as SMG4 hugs him. SMG3 feels 4 silently sobbing into his shoulder. He is in a stun lock for a second, before coming to terms that 4 was hugging him. He wraps his own arms around his crying "nemesis". He gently rubs his back reassuringly.
"4, I promise you, you are no villain. You could never be a villain like me." SMG3 says, chuckling.
He feels SMG4 chuckle a teensy bit while buried in his shoulder, reassuring 3 that he would be okay, thus bringing him back at ease.
"Says the person who saved my life and called me a friend," SMG4 says, face still up against SMG3.
"Not like you said anything different when you saved my life," SMG3 chuckled.
SMG4 slowly lifts his face away from SMG3's shoulder.
"If I didn't know better, I'd say you cared about me," SMG4 said half jokingly.
SMG3 smiles sadly.
"I'll be honest, I'm tired of pretending I don't."
SMG4 and SMG3 look into each others eyes. 4 smiles slyly.
"I knew it. I knew you were a tsundere."
SMG3 gently pushes SMG4 away from him, smiling and pretending to be mad. "Don't make me actually hate you."
4 chuckles.
SMG3 looks at him again. "Are you sure you're okay now?"
SMG4 smiles.
"Much better, thanks to you."
SMG3 smiles, looking to the ground.
"Don't mention it. ..Seriously, don't mention it. If Meggy hears about this, I will not hear the end of it."
SMG4 grins, and begins walking back toward his castle, as Eggdog walks up to his owner, ready to head inside.
"I heart you too, SMG3," SMG4 says before walking to the castle entrance.
SMG3 rolls his eyes, smiling, as he picks up Eggdog and the two head back into the cafe.
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calumfmu · 9 hours
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omfg i desperately need part two of steve stealing eddie’s girl 😭
Here it is!! Part two of Steve stealing Eddie's girl! 2.1k+ words cw: allusions to sex, angst (what's new), swearing, cheating (so serious, don't do it)
It was hard--pretending, but failing so miserably at being so into Eddie, while he was head over heels in love with you. The thing was there was nothing wrong with him, there was nothing wrong with your relationship. The only thing was that you were in it with the wrong person.
"What's wrong with you?" Eddie's voice was careful, pulling you out of your thoughts. The spoon sat in your mouth, cold against the warmth of your tongue, absently caught there as you reflected on the events that occurred last weekend.
"Hmm?"
You looked towards him, blinking the memories away. Steve sat on the forefront of your mind. His toothy smile, lopsided as he hovered above you, wetness across his plump lips, sweat beading down his chest, trailing further, further down until it dripped onto your own bare b-
"You're not even listening to me," your boyfriend huffed, throwing his own items down on the table. He stood up, pushing his chair back from the small table that sat in the space of his trailer.
Looking down at your own setting, you felt that familiar sting of guilt creeping up, warming your chest, coloring the skin there.
"You know I hate to say it, but there's been something seriously wrong with you lately," he began, slamming cabinets as he put away things from your shared dinner. "You've just been so... in your mind, and you never want to spend time with me anymore, it's so frustrating, hon."
Your eyebrow crinkled at the nickname, your heartstrings pulled when you realized that this situation was only getting so much harder.
"I just want to know," he slammed another drawer shut, rattling the mismatched cutlery inside. He grabbed your bowl from you, ignoring your whine of protest as you weren't finished eating yet. "Is it me? Did... did I do something? Spent too much time on my campaign or forgot something?" He thought for a moment, a hand coming up to brush over his mouth. "Oh God, what day is it... was it our anniversary?"
You shrugged, not finding the words to say. He leaned against a counter, arms crossed over the ratty sleep shirt on his body. From the blinds over his shoulder, you saw the twilight hours of the evening creeping in. A warmness settled in the pit of your stomach, you felt like you were going to be sick.
"Eds," You whispered, shaking your head. A few voices from the lot surrounding his trailer began to pour through the thin walls, murmurings that you couldn't make out. "It's not that. No, you didn't forget anything, didn't do anything."
He nodded sincerely, eyes becoming wide as he crossed the short distance of the floor to sit himself again. He grabbed your hand between his, pressing a light kiss to the back.
"Tell me then," He matched your low tone, leaning in closer to you. "You can tell me anything."
Swallowing deeply, you raised your eyebrows, a shaky deep breath leaving your mouth. He was patient as you stumbled over words to begin your confession. It was now or never.
"I don't know how to say, but it's..." your voice was even shakier than before, words getting caught in your throat. He was nodding, intent on hearing you out, being there for you, like he'd always been. "It's-"
A small crash sounded out from outside the trailer, trash bins being knocked over. Eddie rolled his eyes, muttering an apology before crossing the floor, parting the blinds with two fingers to peer out.
Standing up, you moved to follow him, curious as well as to what would be that loud in this normally quiet lot. You were grateful for the distraction, another moment granted to give you more time to think.
"The fuck is he doing here?" You heard Eddie mutter, eyes squinting as he looked out. Your brow crinkled in confusion, squeezing your head next to his to fit your eye line.
Time stopped momentarily, that familiar high hair style, striped shirt leaning against a BMW making snappy gestures to a couple of young kids. The four of them seemed to be arguing, Steve growing more and more frustrated as the three young teenagers gave him attitude back.
Eddie stepped away, shaking his head in disbelief at the scene.
"Leave it to Harrington," he mumbled, placing a hand on your shoulder. You were glued to the window, eyes wide as you took in your secret lover.
Eddie continued his speech, droning on about how he was to make it up to you, spend time that will take away from any wrong doing that he had done to you in the past. "I don't want to upset you or have you think of me differently, I just don't want things to change between us."
It was in one ear and out of the next, not fully processing as you still remained at the window, gaze focused on the man outside. The teenagers he spoke to, you didn't recognize.
"Hon..." he drawled out, close behind you. "Hon... Honey!"
You jumped back, messing up the blinds so they landed in a tangled heap, swinging back and forth so they banged against the window. From the small separation, you saw the group of teens looking towards the noise, confusion on their faces. You ducked down, hidden from their view as you crouched, knees close to your chest.
Eddie nodded slowly, licking his lips as he saw you, red faced and nervous, chewing at your thumb nail.
"What's up?" He slowly questioned, ignoring the way he could see Steve staring through the slightly parted blinds.
"Oh, it's nothing," you muttered, shaking your head at him. You remained on your perch, heart beating fast behind your chest.
"Nothing?" He responded, crinkling his eyes at you. Taking a step towards you, he peered through the disheveled blinds, taking a look at Steve who abandoned his car, a few feet closer to you as he squinted. "Then get up."
You looked at him, wide eyed, your mouth parted in a small 'o'. "Oh, I can't do that."
The long haired man was silent, gaze dancing back and forth between the two of you. The emotion on his face was indiscernible, a cold stare as he watched Steve come up the small flight of steps from the window, hovering his hand as he questioned whether or not to knock. You slowly stood up, peering over the sill to see whether or not Steve was still looking at you two, unaware that he stood at the front step of the door, questioning if he even saw you.
Relieved, you sighed, not seeing him in sight. The younger teens were still there, arguing amongst themselves, hands flying in all directions.
Eddie's eyes lingered on you, his lips pressed into a thin line. It was scary seeing him like this, an emotion that you'd never seen him with in the time you had been together. He'd always been happy-go-lucky, a joy to be around.
A knock sounded on the door, your heart falling once more.
"Honey?" Steve's voice carried through the thin door, echoing off of the walls. That sick feeling bubbled up, air trapped in your throat at the nickname.
"Honey?" Eddie repeated to himself, nodding as it seemed he was finally placing the pieces together. He crossed the distance to the door, swinging it open to reveal the Harrington boy, standing there proud, cockiness sitting on his face.
"What are you doing here?" He threw, dragging his eyes over Eddie's frame. He tried to peek his head in, only for Eddie to step into his view, blocking any sight of anything behind him, any sight of you.
"I could ask you the same thing," Eddie matched his tone, teetering on bitter as Steve stood in the door frame, lips pouted out. You leaned against the wall where the window was, out of sight of him, but just enough in line where you could see the full interaction.
"I thought I saw--" Steve started, shaking his head as he cut himself off. "Never mind, she wouldn't even be here."
Eddie choose that moment to look at you, hurt on his face as everything finally clicked. You made eye contact, your own nerves catching up to you as Steve's words left his mouth. Last weekend you had made a decision, had decided which boy to choose and it wasn't Eddie. You told Steve that you were leaving him, was going to tell him that Monday you had found someone new. But when that day came, with Eddie rushing to you to tell you his exciting news about his campaign, his plan with you for when he was finally done, you didn't have the heart.
Steve descended two steps, stopping at the last one before he turned back to Eddie. He opened his mouth to say something, closing it before he could start.
"Just go," Eddie spoke out loud, quirking up an eyebrow as he widened the door. Steve cocked his head, anger crossing his features as he looked up at him.
"I am, asshole."
"Not you, dumb ass," Eddie rolled his eyes, turning his body to look at you. Time stood still, moving in slow motion as you processed what was happening. "Hon." The tone was bitter. "Just go with him."
"E-Eddie, what?" You took a step towards him, speaking up for the first time since the door opened. You heard Steve's footsteps once more, his head peeping around the door frame as he looked at you, surprise on his features.
"I thought you told him," Steve shook his head, a sarcastic smile on his face. It wasn't genuine, something that screamed he was in disbelief at this moment.
Eddie looked between the two of you, how mousy you appeared, scared of your own shadow, Steve looking like a kid who had just won a prize, but lost it all in the same day.
"She didn't," Eddie said, stepping out of the way as you appeared at the door. The temperature outside was cold, in a weird way, welcoming compared to the warmth inside of the trailer. You were tempted to run out into it, feeling it embrace you with this strange boy by your side. "She didn't have to tell me anything. Just... keep her safe, yeah?"
"Eds, what's going on?" You rushed out, taking a step towards him, wincing at the way he took a step back, his head dropping towards the floor.
He refused eye contact, taking a deep breath as he focused on something behind you, wetness welling up at the corners of his eyes. "Just go, it's fine."
"Eddie--"
"It's fine." It was more urgent, his push of the two words. You knew it wasn't. Nothing would ever make this moment 'fine'. It wasn't fair what you had done to him, it wasn't fair that it had to be Steve, the man who Eddie felt like he was always in subtle competition with, even though they live on opposite sides of the train tracks.
You took a step out of the trailer, chill air hitting your skin. Steve's hand brushed your arm as he slipped his jacket off, trying to offer it. You crossed your arms over your chest, refusing it as Eddie looked between the two of you.
Steve made a few steps towards his car, unsure in his own movements--something that you definitely weren't used to. He was supposed to be the confident one in this scenario, guide you through the unknown. The soft shut of the trailer door had you turning your head, focusing on the young teenagers who had turned their own attention on the scenario.
The crunch of your shoes on the gravel stung with every step, chapters of a storybook flying by to a full end. Your mind raced, you didn't know what to do, how to feel. Everything felt so wrong, yet so... confusing.
"Who's that?" One of the kids asked, his lisp through the words. You bit your lip, turning your head away from them.
"Dustin, not now," Steve sighed, opening the car door for you. You stood there for a moment, turning your head once more to get one last look at Eddie's trailer, yards away. A shadow passed by a window, the silhouette of his body exiting out of sight. You looked at Steve, chewing your lip raw as he was solemn, eyes flitting towards the car, gesturing for you to get in.
As you took a seat in the car, you felt the end of the story completely. This decision felt final, but you weren't sure if you made the right choice. Everything still felt wrong, even with the 'right' one.
a/n: working on an angsty part three, even more than this one. just to summarize it all up. let me know if y'all want it or if I should retire it. anyways love y'all. thank you for being patient with me. Also I am so sorry, I think my weird mood rn is being translated to this text.
Masterlist. Inbox and requests are open!
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a-very-tired-jew · 3 days
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Remember when I said age is a factor regarding how informed a person is? About how life experience, world experience, education, and biology all play a role in how you process information and come to conclusions? https://www.tumblr.com/a-very-tired-jew/746376840485257216/youre-not-as-informed-as-you-think-and-age-does?source=share Well I have seen some token "Good Jews" exhibiting this exact thing as of today (04/20/2024).
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Fig. 1. User (Early 20s) claims Zionism is antisemitic, repeats Bund talking points, and repeats the genocide claim.
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Fig. 2. Same user says they needed to deprogram from indoctrination.
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Fig. 3. Same user as above claims elder Jews (read: Jews that are older than them) are indoctrinated. These are the most egregious examples that this Good Jew has with another Good Jew in this particular discord (you know which one). What we see in Figure 1 is the same Bundian philosophy that got Jews betrayed and killed in the USSR. It's the same philosophy that we have tried over and over again with the same results: Jews tortured, killed, and exiled by the larger goy communities we thought we were accepted in. I would hazard a guess that this young person is not aware of the Dreyfus Affair or other issues in "Liberal" societies that led to Zionism.
In Figure 3 this same person states that older Jews are indoctrinated and in Figure 2 states that they needed to "deprogram" from their "indoctrination". They posit that the reason young Jews are anti-Zionist is because they haven't been indoctrinated yet and/or have deprogrammed themselves from their childhood. However...this is typical teen/young adult behavior where they're "Fighting the narrative" and lashing out at the perceived "status quo of indoctrination". I've heard these words for years, hell I said them myself. But because this person is under 25, around 22/23 from my understanding, they simply don't have the experience or education to really understand what they're talking about. Yes they are Jewish. But the points I made about age in my other post still stand. The likelihood that they have the world and life experience is very slim. Add in that they use inflammatory language that is often associated with the current batch of young antisemitic activists and...well...you get the picture. But let's talk about the greater implication here. This is one glaring example in a discord. There are more throughout our own community. There are young Jews who are screaming at their elders and repeating talking points that they heard on tiktok, social media, and at protests*. The very same protests where they will hear chants of "Gas the Jews", "Hitler was right!", and so on. At what point do they realize that even if they care for innocent lives (which I have yet to see anyone besides outright racists and bigots call for actual genocide) that allying themselves with antisemites who would kill them in an instant is a bad idea? In part, I think it has to do with Westerners distrusting their Democratic governments as we have seen them repeatedly drop the ball on issues. They yearn for a revolution against the status quo because the future is bleak (and trust me, as an ecologist I understand climate anxiety and as a millennial I understand that and so much of the other shit too). But this yearning to have meaningful change in their own country has been coopted by terrorist organizations bent on killing Jews. That energy around positive activism and meaningful change has been manipulated by an organization that has been caught on tape saying they would manipulate these very people to bring about their violent intent. And here's the thing...many of us elders have gone through that very same phase of rhetoric. I remember being an edgy anti-Zionist myself when I was a teen and young adult (I was of the Bundian philosophy as well, and yes I had grown up Reconstructionist, there's a lot to unpack there for a later time). I remember thinking my elders were brainwashed and just scoffing at their retorts. I remember thinking that they had just fallen for the propaganda and needed to open their eyes. As I got older and became more educated, as well as had more world experiences and reached certain biological milestones, my views changed. Not because I became more conservative, but because I was no longer an emotional, hormonally driven young adult who thought they knew more than others. There's a saying in academia that goes something like "In undergrad you think you know everything, in masters you realize you were woefully uninformed, and in your doctorate you realize you don't know shit about anything." But if you tell them that, they just say it's Hasbara (propaganda) because those same orgs have told them it is. Only hindsight and time will let them go beyond their surface level reactionary reasoning and see the bigger picture. They think they've been deprogrammed, but in reality they've fallen for a different manipulation that will use their good intentions to do harm.
*This is reminiscent of young LGBTQ+ behavior where the young queer kids are yelling at their elders, telling them they don't understand, and the elders are warning them about something dangerous. The youngins then come back and cry "why didn't you warn us?" to which they respond "you didn't listen".
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projectbluearcadia · 2 days
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Now, Children, Fight Nicely
[ Trigger Warning - Intentional poisoning (mention) Reader Discretion Advised. ]
Green, crystal-like shards of magic shatter into the air, and Lucifer, in full demon form, bolts inside Barbatos' room, his expression twisted into a snarl as his foot comes flying into Barbatos' face at full force. The impact slams Barbatos into the opposite wall, his hair sprinkled with rocky debris. Blood dribbles from his mouth.
Lucifer: WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DOSE HER WITH?!
Barbatos: ...
Lucifer: DO YOU THINK I WON'T FUCKING KILL YOU, BARBATOS!? AFTER DOING THAT TO HER?!
Barbatos: I anticipated that, and quite frankly, I'd rather it was you who did it. It seems fitting.
Tears start to streak down Lucifer's face.
Lucifer: How dare you... How dare you welcome death?! If you really feel so horrible about poisoning the love of my life that you came prepared to die for it, how could you do it at all?!
Barbatos: There are... futures that I'd rather not see. For her suffering, for yours, and for my lord's. Futures where she kills Lord Diavolo. Futures where the Devildom perishes in a sea of turmoil. And... futures where she dies at your hands.
Lucifer grits his teeth angrily.
Lucifer: You're fucking stupid for a person that can see the strands of time! I don't care if it's one possibility out of five billion! Step in and change it, you son of a bitch!
Barbatos: I can't.
Lucifer: WHY NOT?!
Barbatos: Ever since I was infected, I haven't been able to use that ability well, and it's been getting worse. I'm... at the point where I can't do much of anything.
Lucifer's expression shifts through several shades of frustration, and he grips his hands in his hair and screams in anger and despair. Moments later, Diavolo arrives in his nightclothes, disheveled but alert.
Diavolo: ...Barbatos, I am quickly becoming incredibly upset with you, and you have about five seconds to explain to me why you never mentioned what I heard from the hallway.
Barbatos: I apologize, my lord; I intended to solve this quietly, but I'm afraid... some things were simply beyond me...
Lucifer: God! Dammit! You're just like her! You always keep everything to yourself and it costs you everything!
Hello, Mr. Pot?
Lucifer's hair falls from his fingertips alongside his distraught tears. He crumples to the ground, picking up Annelie's head and letting his quiet sobs wrack his body.
Lucifer: Oh, Annelie... I'm so sorry... I'm so, so, so... hic... sorry... I promised, but I failed to protect you again, and now you're like this... I'm sorry... Please... I'll save you, so... Please don't die... please don't die... not again.... please...
I... can smell his tears, but I can't wipe them away... I hate this. He doesn't deserve this. Why am I always so...
Diavolo: Lucifer, stop blaming yourself. This isn't your fault. We'll find a solution... okay?
Diavolo looks like he's on the edge of tears himself as he squeezes his friend's shoulder.
That's an empty condolence and he knows it. Barbatos is too smart. I hate this.
Lucifer: ...is it going to be enough? What if she...?
I... hate this. I curse it. Future be damned; I curse it. This powerless self... I curse it and curse it with everything I have.
A black mist wisps around Annelie's body, sinking into her skin, and Barbatos, Diavolo and Lucifer all collectively wince. Diavolo sinks to one knee, gritting his teeth. Annelie's fingers twitch, and Lucifer latches onto them desperately, watching her face. Her black eyes open to reveal that her irises have turned a radioactive shade of hot pink, punctuated by serpentine pupils. Almost immediately, she grabs hold of Lucifer and hugs him tightly.
Annelie: I'm fine... I'm fine.
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thepoisonroom · 4 months
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btw if i could give one tip to the anxious bitches as one myself it would be to avoid accusing people who care for you of secretly hating you like either it's not true and you made them feel weird and like you think badly of them or it's true and you should just bounce but either way this will accomplish nothing
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hanzajesthanza · 1 year
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the short stories are actually really provocative and profound, heartrending and disturbing and thought-provoking and funny all at the same time and in such a short amount of space.
but i feel like when n*tflix touched them, they were the first victim of a withering away and soul sapping for me, in which i couldn't bear to be around the kinds of discussions and jokes and everything which were coming up at that time as fundamental misunderstandings of them so it just became very painful and very banal because they were all, in essence, forgotten.
however, that damage is not irreversable.
particularly in the case of a good adaptation, the musical, i have begun to remember all of why i love the short stories so much, just how good and painful to my heart they are, as well as thinking more deeply about some aspects which i had not previously considered or paid a lot of attention to (in lieu of other things which excited me more).
i think the biggest strength of a "good" adaptation and a "good" fandom is that they make you realize things you hadn't, interested in parts that weren't your 'favorite,' and generally expanding your mind and love of the source material. in contrast, a "bad" adaptation or "bad" fandom is that which makes you wish to forget and eventually end up forgetting your love and leaving it behind yourself. "good" is to remember, "bad" is to forget.
#txt#the witcher books#the witcher musical#what i mean here is that sometimes there are things you KNOW but you don't think deeply about and you don't consider the ramifications of#for instance i knew that the waters of brokilon erased your memories to make you a dryad but did i care all that much? not really#because i was so focused on geralt and ciri's relationship that the waters were just something i didn't want to happen to ciri#but hearing braenn's song from the musical made my jaw drop with emotion and horror realizing how impactful that experience would be#similarly ciri's song about the nature in brokilon made me realize that her wonder at all of these beauties is something so rare and#impossible in every single other part of the world because brokilon is The Last Place.#literally no other child - no other HUMAN - will ever see these sights she saw. and she's singing to geralt that she wishes he could see it#but really she is singing to all humans of the continent and therefore the entire audience#because also ciri is such a character as that she is innocent and believes in goodness and justice at this point#such as when she says that calanthe says elves and dryads are good and when she asks yennefer about drawing too much Power#so she's singing: i wish the world could be beautiful and i wish humans were not so cruel (the message of the song not her intention)#i won't even mention what waters of brokilon (song) brings to the table in terms of character understanding rn bc i'm procrastinating#ALSO THE STORY OF THE CAT AND THE FOX....... JAZZY TUNE.... GERALT DAD MOMENTS.... CIRI DANCING.... OK#twn critical#um and considering i just named three sword of destiny songs. the n*tflix series did NOT EVEN HAVE SWORD OF DESTINY.
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chooey · 11 months
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common kendall L
#THIS IS CRAZYYYY#loved the last episode actually#also rare roman W ?????#when he said youre bullshit we're all bullshit we're nothing like wow FINALLY?????#anyway i found watching the series kind of. insufferable 😭#and like what the hell is this tomgreg endgame lmfao 😭#whatever they have going on i dont wanna know anything ! dont care if it's pride month#roy kids are just a bunch of losers wbk !!!!!!!!!!#not saying logan roy is a good person or that i like him i dont like any of them but according to this show he was a good business man so ?#shivtom ok then!!!!!! shiv though still a nepo baby (semi capable???) i cant really find it in me to hate her#piss babiest award goes to kendall roy idc#ok real talk theres room.... a house for nuance here#ultimately this boils down to logan being a shitty dad to all of them and building a company that encourages toxic shit to fester#but even that piece of shit had his own demons#logan roy unforgivable unreedemable literally hell if it were a man#still... i liked that the last episode at least tried to show his good side (? lol 😭) the scene was the warmest a succession scene can go#also the scene of them acting like children. it was good. it reminded me of the boat scene in s1 at shiv's wedding (probably intentional)#if i could say which character i... didn't like necessarily but people i found interesting/captivating it would be...#kendall tbh... gerri shiv stewy caroline tom (he is SO weird and fucked up) greg??? frank? roman i was on the fence Always#it's bad that in his mind he's the middle child bc im the middle child 😭 I don't identify with this i don't claim it i don't approve of it#........but sometimes........ yeah#logan was right about one thing and that they are just unserious people lmfao 😭 nice parting words huh#unblocking the tag now!!!!!!! wow finally i can see what people were thought of this show/the characters#maybe my view is more cynical and too vanilla i'm sorry i just cant excuse the heinous shit these people did hence i don't have a favorite#it's just a fictional show (!!!!!!) well ok but i just didn't love them as characters!!!!!!! 😭#succession#izza💭
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