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valkerymillenia · 4 years

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Umbrella Academy

season 2, episode 8

Once again- live blogging my thoughts and reactions in one post to avoid spamming.

So this is how the FBI gets their hands on Vanya, huh? Seems most fan theories were wrong.

Oh, Sissy's last name is Cooper!

I did wonder about that -how did remember her name despite forgetting everything else? If she knew her name then she should have been able to remember other little fragments.

Of course the feds focus on the fact that her name is Russian. Cold war bullshit. I guess they think she's a spy or since Russian sleeper soldier or something.

"I'm not Russian" -you kinda are though 😅 Tatiana was Russian and gave birth to you in Moscow sooo...

DID VANYA JUST SPEAK RUSSIAN?!

Is that one of the 7 languages that Reggie all the siblings or....? Does it... Does it have something to do with her powers or her birth place?

"simple-minded boy"? FUCK YOU.😠

"communist threat" there it is 🙄

Oh no, she's losing her cool. Here come the powers... I keep wondering how she does that 'sucking the life' out of someone thing. 🤔

That's a lot of puke.

Poor Five, he's starting to crack under the stress.

Why is Ben gagging? He's dead, he shouldn't be able to feel or smell the puke.

Loving Robert's real curls starting to show.

"I regret nothing" -hmm.... Yeah, that's what I'm afraid of.

"there's a giant dead white boy on my couch" 😆

"Oh, I see. It's gonna be one of those kind of nights, huh? So are we burning or burying?" -this is why I love Klaus! He doesn't even flinch, he doesn't care what happened, he doesn't ask, he just immediately decides that he's going to help his sister get rid of a dead body like it's the most natural thing in the world.

Although, it would be interesting if Klaus actual saw the Swede ghosts too. I just want Klaus to be seeing ghosts everywhere again, ok? I want that struggle from season 1 to be brought back and not swept under the rug for plot convenience. As a writer, if you make something an important character trait, you stick with it and they haven't done that with Klaus, they are half-assing his struggle with his powers.

It's the Swede really going to...? Oh good, saved by the cat.

Oh! So that's what "lavender" means! I was right, it was the perfume, it was probably obvious but I'm a little dumb.

Ah! Lila is trying to hire Diego for the Commission???

Diego is so confused.

"colorful history" sounds so wrong and sexual 😣

Diego is so full of bullshit. His loyalties absolutely lie with his family, he's just too defensive to admit it.

Reginald FRAMED Pogo's family drawing? So he's a better dad to the chimp than his own kids, huh?

THE TELEVATOR!!!!!!! PLANS FOR THE TELEVATOR!!!! I love comic references, please tell me we'll see a real televator in the show!

So Reggie really is planning something about JFK...

"are you involved in something nefarious?" "Quite often. Did you have something more specific in mind?" -at least he owns it 😆

"shaggy man" -ah! Poor Diego!

Reggie really loves this Grace, huh? But she has a point.

Five is losing it a bit, huh?

The baby powder 🤣

"I have to find myself" -RIGHT! I was wondering when this would come up! Old!Five was there for the JFK thing so Five just has to find his old self and his briefcase in order to correct all this mess. More comic references!

"arguably the most dangerous assassin in the time-space continuum" -DAMN RIGHT 💯

"paradox psychosis" 🤣I know it's supposed to be super serious but the symptoms are so funny...

"a spotter? What is that? Like a wingman?" 😆 This parallels that "Body man? What's that? Like a masseuse?" line in s02e02 where Five is the confused one.

Five, do you really think your brother can stop you if you spiral? Because I don't.

Luther doesn't have a great attention span, does he?

Harlan's drawing is interesting... I get a feeling it's important.

Shit, they are torturing Vanya!! This is so bad!

LSD? LSD?????? No, that's a terrible idea with her powers!!!

Eeeewwwww the eyeballs! 👁️

That's a hell of a bad trip... The way the music makes with the visuals reminds me of my synesthesia though.

Oh! So this is where the scene of all the adult siblings in the Academy uniforms is from!!! (I remember someone saying it was Diego dreaming of having a drugged hallucination in the asylum, they were pretty close! It's Vanya drugged by the FBI instead!)

"I get you" -that is not the face of a person that gets this at all, Luther!

"Don't freak out." -like that ever worked 😆

Lila trying to have her cake and eat it too with her mom and Diego.

That informational video 🤣🤣🤣

Free coffee! Weekly donuts* (*fees apply)! Wow, so tempting 😒

"whatever your skill, education, or comfort level with moral ambiguity (...)" 😆

Are the Fives just having a staring contest? 🤣🤣

Ah! How can Five be bitchy and aggressive to HIMSELF 😆

"all those years on the apocalypse, we never stopped working about our family." -why does Luther look so damn surprised to hear this?? Why the hell does he think Five is doing so this for?!

Wow, Five is really bitter about his body, isn't he? He's making old!Five so nervous 😅

Oops, there's stage 4 for old!Five!

And there's stage 3 as well and stages 5 and 6 for little!Five.

I get a feeling Five doesn't really have the accurate calculations, he's just lying and using the originals.

"I don't trust him!" -he's... He's you...14 days ago! How do you not trust yourself?

"but he's you" "exactly" 🤣🤣🤣

I'm so afraid how what Diego is going to do. I get a feeling hell fuck up trying to be a misguided hero again...

"I'm Diego. I have a knife." 😆

"it's very shiny" 🤣

So Diego is a legend, huh? 😏

"there's been a coup d'etat" "what's that? Cadillac?" -don't play dumb, Diego, I don't believe for a single second that you don't know what a coup is.

So the new apocalypse WAS Vanya's fault but by proxy (actually more the FBI's fault), she was just a small domino. So literally the only one that didn't actively do anything to impact the timeline ends up being the one doing the most damage (again)? PLOT TWIST!

Oh no, DON'T GET ANY IDEAS ABOUT YOUR SISTER, DIEGO! YOU SAW HOW BADLY THAT ENDED LAST TIME!

No, I refuse to believe "she will always be the bomb" 😠😠😠😠

LOL, hi, Dot!

NO! LUTHER, YOU MORON! DON'T GIVE HIM ALL THAT INFO! YOU'LL CHANGE EVERYTHING AND CEASE TO EXIST!!!

These dumb siblings exhaust me

"little jerk-off" -why are you insulting yourself, you weirdo? 😆

Old!Five with all the PP symptoms and yet he says he never felt better in his life 🤣

"you're getting paranoid" -you both are, and sweaty, itchy and gassy. All that's missing is the homicidal rage at this point 😅

Vanya's hallucination shows us a twisted paranoid view she has of her siblings and it's very interesting:

-Ben is protective, defends her, he can do no harm, probably because he died young so nostalgia blurs her memory of him

-Allison defends her but is also arrogant and condescending, speaking as if she's implying that Vanya is weak, probably because Vanya feels that Allison is perfect and has an inferiority complex

-Luther is just as arrogant and looks down her, calling her lazy, but does so without malice (more mockery than anger)

-Klaus is accusing and suspicious but still on the fence and excitable, probably reflecting Vanya's own doubts and how she herself sees Klaus

-Five just stares, judging and silent but unable to look away, probably because she trusts him but she also doesn't know him, there's the same nostalgia effect as Ben but because Five came back (to stop her) the inferiority and fear of judgement is still there

-Diego is completely different, awkward and detached, this one is the most interesting because he's one of the people that was most vocal and mean against her in season 1 but apparently she sees a kindred spirit in him to an extent, either that or she fears she means nothing to him

Maybe I'm overanalyzing again...

I totally predicted the dishes would be brains but it's still gross.

Ew, the chewing... 😫 It's giving me the creeps.

Why is she seeing Harlan's drawing? She was gone already when he made that particular drawing (I knew it would be important), is she connected to him now??

And how does she remember her own birth??

Holy shit, Harlan is feeling Vanya's pain!!!😲😲😲

"why are people so much heavier when they're dead?" "You got a lot of practice at this?" 😅

Ben and Klaus conversation actually makes me feel a bit better about the possession but it makes no sense at all 🤣

Poor Ray keeps meeting in-laws in the weirdest situations 🤣🤣🤣🤣 his face! 🤝

Ray is having a nervous breakdown 😣 poor guy...

The moment Lila notices Diego is missing, the intercom chimes "Loyalty isn't a choice, it's a lifestyle" and if that isn't foreshadowing for Lila choosing sides then I don't know what is.

This is a really painful way for Vanya to recover her memories but it's so well done!

Holy shit... 😳

Klaus asking the real question here. She's being tortured, Klaus, go help!!!

HOLY SHIT! HARLAN HAS VANYA'S POWERS NOW?!

No, no, no,no, no, no nononononono! This is so bad! A child with a disorder that makes emotions hard to regulate suddenly having an apocalyptic level of power that connects directly to emotion is just a recipe for disaster!

#tua #tua s2 #tua s2 spoilers

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annemcsommers · 4 years

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Don't Stand So Close To Me

Summary: After 45 years alone in a post-apocalyptic wasteland, Five isn't used to being touched anymore, not that he ever really liked it in the first place. The rest of his siblings got the hint and kept their distance...except Klaus. Set 2 months post season 1 in an AU in which everything is the same except stopping Vanya doesn't cause the moon to explode.

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18952504

Don’t Stand So Close to Me

Five was, for lack of a better word, irritated.

"STOP IT."

"Stop what?" Klaus asked, looking confused. Five had been working on some calculations when Klaus came in and put a hand on his shoulder. Five shrugged it off, and decided that enough was enough.

"Stop touching me. God, what's wrong with you. Everyone else gets it. I don't like being touched, I have NEVER liked being touched, and in case you were wondering, spending 45 years alone in a post-apocalyptic wasteland didn't change that. Why Klaus? Why can't you get that?" There was silence for a moment before Klaus answered, in a whisper so low that if that house hadn't been empty, Five wouldn't have been able to hear.

"I need to know that you're here"

Five gave him a weird look "So do the rest of them, they look Klaus, with their eyes, not their fingers. You can see me, I am here" Klaus looked Five right in the eye "So is Ben"

Five opened his mouth the make a retort, but nothing came out. What do you even say to that?

Klaus took advantage of the silence to continue, pacing his arms waving for emphasis. "I see him all the time. I know everyone thinks I couldn't before because I was always high, but I could. I can see him all the time, and he looks just like he did the last time I saw him, same age, same god damn outfit."

"Klaus" Five started, but was interrupted by Klaus continuing waving his hand as if to shush Five.

"You know I tried to summon you every day after you left. Not just when Dad or the others gave up and started asking, but every day after you left. Because I knew, I knew you had to be dead. I knew you were dead because otherwise you would have come back. So you had to be dead because you didn't come. And you promised" Klaus was near tears at this point, his voice breaking on the word promised.

"What?"

"You promised me, do you remember? We were kids and we were playing hide and seek, or escape and evade whatever, it was one of dads fucked up training games, and you jumped, and I couldn't find you, and I freaked out cause I thought you were gone forever. Dad was pissed I was crying, and I got in shit. But that night you jumped into my room after lights out and you promised me you would always come back. And you did, until you didn't, and I knew you had to be dead because you promised me you would come back and you NEVER broke a promise, but you didn't come back" Klaus was crying now, fat tears rolling down his face.

"You think I didn't TRY to get back?" Five interrupted, furious. "I tried every day! It was weeks before I could jump more than a few blocks. I did everything to come back, and your pissed I broke some sort of promise, Christ Klaus, grow up"

"I get it ok, I get you couldn't come back, I know that NOW, but I didn't then. I thought you were mad at me" Klaus swiped at his tears with back of his hand.

Five was confused "What does me being mad have to do with any of this"

"The morning that you left I came into your room and you were working on some equation, and I startled you, and you jumped, and I spilt my water all over your book, and you flipped. Like were super pissed, said I ruined everything and you hated me. Then you were gone. And I kept trying to summon you and you wouldn't come"

"I didn't come, because I wasn't dead" Five said slowly enunciating each word condescendingly. God Klaus could be slow sometimes.

"Ya, but I knew you were dead right, because you didn't come back, and that meant you were dead. But there were ghosts before that I tried to summon for dad, and they always had to choose to come, and if they don't want to they don't have to, and I thought. I thought you wouldn't come because you were mad at me. So I kept trying every day because maybe someday you would get over it. And you didn't, and I hated it. You know what it feels like, knowing that I could see you again, but I couldn't because I fucked it up. Dad told me I couldn't see you because I was worthless, and I knew he was right"

"Klaus" Five interrupted, startled.

"No, let me finish. I knew he was right, and I didn't want him to be, so I made a reason you couldn't see me" Klaus admitted with a shrug, sitting on the bed.

"How?" Five was confused now, how could Klaus have made a reason?

"Started to drink more, tried drugs, did a lot of drugs. I knew they blocked my powers and if I was high, and if I couldn't see you when I was high it was because my powers weren't working, not cause you didn't want to see. Until"

"Until what?" Five asked quietly. At this point he had to admit, he wasn't sure that he even wanted the answer.

"Until Ben died. He turned up when I was drunk, and high, and there wasn't enough drugs to drown him out and I knew that I couldn't see you because of me. And by then there wasn't any reason to stop, because I really was worthless, a fucking homeless junkie. I tried calling everyone you know, Diego, Allison, Luther, even Vanya, and no one fucking answered. Then that book came out, and I realized that was how they all thought of me too, fucking worthless junkie. And I still couldn't see you and i tried. Every . Fucking. Day. I was trying even when I was pretending to summon dad.

And then you were here. But everyone else said they could see you. And I get it, you don't like when I touch you. But you are standing there looking the way you did the last time I saw you down to the god damn weather inappropriate shorts, standing right beside Ben, looking just as real, and I can't not touch you, because I don't know how else to be sure you aren't really dead.

How the fuck else do I tell if you didn't just get over it, cause there is this minute in the morning I forget you came back and I try and summon you and then you are here looking like that and I am sorry, ok, I'll try to stop, I really will, but I, can I, " Klaus reached out toward Five, but pulled his hand back just short of touching him. "Sorry, I won't, i just, I'll go, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you mad, I" Klaus used the back of the hello hand to swipe at his tears, and made to stand, when he felt a hand on his shoulder. Five had closed the distance between them.

"I'm sorry Klaus"

"For what?" Klaus was the one that with the confused look now, and Five realised he didn't understand.

"For not coming back, for forgetting I promised, for forgetting about your powers, about forgetting how you have problems telling the living from the dead sometimes. I tried to come back, I really did, and I will try harder now that I am back, okay?"

"To come back? But you're here?"

"To be here for you. Its been a long time since I was around people Klaus. I worked for the commission, but that was a job full of messages on paper. I forgot how to be a person, fuck Klaus, my name is a number, I don't think I ever really learned how to be a person. But I will try to do better okay? "Five's face was scrunched up, and it looked like it was hurting him to say this.

"Okay" Five stared for a moment. He had forgotten how incredibly forgiving Klaus could be.

"Now, is there anything I can do, you know, for you?" Five asked Klaus awkwardly.

"Don't leave me again?" Klaus asked. Five could tell from the look on his face that he didn't expect Five to go along with it. "I won't" Five said, saddened by the surprise on Klaus's face.

"Promise?" Klaus asked, sounding hopeful and far more like the 13 year old he remembered than the 30 yr old Klaus now was.

"I promise" Five answered. He took a deep breath in, and let it out, and braced himself. Klaus looked confused, as Five leaned towards him slowly. He reached out and hugged Klaus. It felt...strange. Five knew he was too stiff, and Klaus was warm and perfectly still for a moment. Then Five felt Klaus's arms come around him. They stayed like that for a minute and then just when Five was about to let go, it was like Klaus melted. Five felt Klaus's weight shift onto him as he felt every muscle in Klaus's body relax revealing just how much tension he had been holding. Then the arms tightened around him hard and Klaus's chin dug into his shoulder, and then his face into Five's neck. And then it wasn't so awkward. It was...nice.

Five didn't know how long they stayed like that, but eventually a thought occurred to him.

"Klaus?" He asked.

"Hmmm," Klaus mumbled into his shoulder.

"What were you doing here in the first place?"

"What?" Klaus sounded confused, as he pulled away from Five.

"When you came here, you looked like you were going to say something, and then I interrupted you. Was there something you came for?" Klaus scrunched up his face, and then focused on something behind Five.

"Oh, ya, we were all going to go out for dinner later tonight, and I said I would come up and see if you wanted to go?"

Five turned his head and saw nothing behind him. "Is Ben here?"

"Ya"

"Was he here the entire time?" Five asked, looking around even though he knew he wouldn't be able to see Ben.

Klaus looked pensive for a moment. "I am not sure really, I wasn't paying attention."

Five smiled, "So nothing new then"

Klaus huffed standing up, and twirling away dramatically. "You wound me." Klaus headed towards the door.

Five called out stopping him before he got too far past the door. "Hey Klaus."

"Whaaaat?" Klaus dragged out, using a put upon tone.

"Are you going to dinner tonight?" Five asked.

"Ya, why?" Klaus asked.

"Then I am too." It was an impulsive decision, committing him to spending 2-3 hours jammed at some restaurant being treated like a kid by some waitress and listening to his family bitch. The more he thought about it, the more he regretted it. Then just as he was about to tell Klaus he changed his mind, Klaus smiled at him, his whole face lighting up.

It made Five both happy and very sad. Happy that he made Klaus so happy and sad that it took so little to make his brother happy, and yet he wasn't happy very often.

"Come get me when its time?" Five asked.

"Yes sure, you betcha." Klaus replied, dancing out of Five's room. Five sighed, as he looked over at his book or calculations. He was really going to have to try harder with Klaus. Even if dinner was going to be absolutely miserable.

Notes: This got stuck in my head, took forever to find a place for it. A one-shot for now. May expand on the further Five-Klaus interactions later. Deliberately wrote this from the Five perspective so that I didn't have to deal with Ben. He may or may not have been there. For now its up to you.

#hurt/comfort #touch aversion #post-season/series 01 #no beta #klaus hargreeves #five hargreeves #umbrella academy #fanfcition #fanfiction

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in-tua-deep · 5 years

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The Luther au has me both loving how cute it is & dreading angst ideas but I feel like that's normal for anything Five related tbh. The others have been away & had time to realize Reg did not treat them normally but Five has no frame of reference so if he ever messes up he expects Bad Shit™ from them but is ? When they don't act like Reg. But on the other had Five actually acting like a teen about New Future Things™ like getting excited and generally not as aloof as canon Five. I'm distressed.

WOO more responsible luther au from here, here, here, and here

Honestly all I’m thinking about right now for the responsible Luther au is the absolute hilarity of Hazel and Cha-Cha having to deal with a child. Like an actual child, not a 58-year-old in a child’s body. I mean can you imagine Hazel and Cha-Cha dealing with a child that they aren’t allowed to kill??

Just Hazel squinting and being all, “What the fuck do kids like? Do we offer him candy? Ice cream? We can’t just knock him out because head wounds are iffy and we could accidentally kill him, right?”

Can you picture Cha-Cha trying to interact with Five at like, a park or something?? Trying to talk to him and giving off those serious “I have never spoken to a human child in my life also the stranger danger vibes I am giving off can probably be sensed from the next state over.”

Oh man though the one (1) way they would probably be able to get Five to go with them even a little bit willingly (because how else are you supposed to kidnap a teleporting kid with combat experience and a healthy wariness of strangers) is if they had some sort of collateral (or maybe drugging him??). I’m thinking,,, they grab Klaus. The least combative sibling, would hang out with Five while Luther is at work, lanky and skinny and an easy target.

Because the best way to get a superpowered kid to go with you is to say “If you don’t come with us, we hurt your brother.” Because I can’t think of any other real way to get Five, who is exceptionally traumatized by the very idea of restraints, to agree to be restrained in any way which you KNOW Hazel and Cha-Cha would probably insist on

But yeah Diego and Luther would totally bust in and rescue them because you know Luther is the helicopter parent brother who insists Klaus and Five text him every few hours so Five and Klaus miss a check in and Luther immediately calls Diego all “Yeah no I don’t care if you were doing vigilante shit I need you to check on Five he isn’t answering his phone and neither is Klaus. No, I don’t care if you think I’m overreacting just go and check on them.” and so they find out pretty quick that they’re missing (Diego finds Mr. Pennycrumb first, actually - Five told him to stay because he wanted to keep the dog safe) and go and rescue them (maybe with the help of Detective Patch??)

so they go get Five and Klaus back and Luther is so relieved and they’re all so relieved except Five basically has a breakdown and won’t let anyone touch him and is absolutely freaking out because he went off with strangers and they wanted him so he got Klaus kidnapped as well and even though Luther has been nothing but gentle and accommodating (because he’s fully aware his brother is Super Traumatized thanks) Five assumes he’s going to get into trouble

(because if you think Reginald didn’t punish the kids every time they made a mistake on a missions - I wouldn’t be surprised if Reginald obtained any tapes of the kids missions and would replay them looking for errors and then drill the kids until they were aware of all the mistakes they made and knew that they should never make them again)

(but also can you imagine a kid thinking he’s going to get in trouble for being kidnapped like that’s such a tragedy and all of the siblings are there now and they’re all horrified because they remember the debrief after every mission, and if Luther is right and Five’s punishments often involved restraints - then this is their baby brother thinking that they’re going to lock him up to punish him)

Eventually, eventually, Five calms down enough to allow one of the siblings close enough for comfort. Maybe Klaus, who was also kidnapped. Just both of them grabbing onto one another while the others swear it won’t happen again.

“They said they were working for Dad.” Five finally imparts, scrubbing at his face. There’s a hot second as they all process that before Luther just starts swearing and everyone is looking mildly incredulous because Luther is the one who scolds them about their language and frowns when songs with swear words play on the radio.

“What if,” Klaus says, pausing for dramatic effect, “We kill Dad.”

Vanya looks thoughtful and Diego is nodding and his fingers are just that much too close to his knives and Luther very tellingly isn’t saying anything against the idea. It’s Five who smacks Klaus on the arm, “You guys can’t kill Dad.” He tells them very seriously, “If you all get charged with murder then who’s going to walk me to therapy? And don’t say Mr. Pennycrumb. Plus, I’m not going into the system.”

“Allison could take you in.” Klaus shrugs. Five pulls a face. It makes Vanya laugh just a little.

“Allison has a child!” Luther defends her automatically, making Diego roll his eyes exaggeratedly and Five hides his snicker in Klaus’s shirt. “She’s a good mother! Stop looking at me like that, guys.”

“I don’t want to live with a baby, anyway.” Five declares loudly.

“And yet you live with Klaus.” Diego grins, ignoring Klaus’s squawk of offense with practiced ease and making Five laugh again. Which was the goal in the first place so, success.

“Okay, okay time to go home.” Luther says gently because they probably didn’t make it back to the apartment before this freak out they’re probably all scrunched down in an alley where Five ran to hunker down

and then later when Five is settled down with Mr. Pennycrumb on the couch and also squeezed next to Luther, asleep because it’s been a traumatic day for just about everyone, Luther is just like “Okay so Diego, can you… can you stay with Five when I’m at work? Or - Or I can start taking him to work with me again, and you can watch Klaus?”

“I’m not a child!” Klaus protests.

“You told us they got you first to threaten Five with.” Diego points out, only a little reluctantly. “You don’t need to deal with that. I’ll come over during the day, keep an eye on both these knuckleheads.”

“Ben keeps an eye on me.” Klaus pouts, crossing his arms.

“I will be someone corporeal who can keep an eye on you.” Diego deadpans.

Klaus scrunches his face up and turns to the side to show the full force of the face he was pulling to thin air, presumably a Ben who was definitely agreeing with Diego.

“But why is Dad coming after Five?” Vanya asks, fiddling with her hands and looking nervous.

“Yeah, and why now?” Luther demands, bringing up a protective hand to card through Five’s hair. Mr. Pennycrumb whuffles gently and leans over to give Luther’s hand a lick of appreciation. “We ran away ages ago, and Dad decides to care now? What changed?”

Everyone’s eyes turn to Klaus. His shoulders hitch up around his ears at the attention, but is a good sport who frowns in thought. “I dunno. The big guy - Hazel - he kept complaining about… I don’t know. Budget cuts or something. Dental plans being cut. Shit like that.”

“Dad gives dental plans to hired goons?” Vanya asks, raising an eyebrow.

“Well they weren’t your average hired goons.” Diego says defensively, rubbing at his shoulder that is going to be very bruised where he was smashed into a door. Luther winces in sympathy, feeling vaguely bad because his durability means he doesn’t bruise like the rest of his siblings.

“Shh!” Klaus hisses at them, flapping a hand and looking off to the side, focusing intensely. The rest of them wait patiently. “Uh, Ben says he heard them refer a couple of time to someplace they called the Commission?”

“The Commission? What, a company for hiring all your weird kidnapper needs?” Vanya asks, skeptical. “I mean, not that I doubt Dad’s ability to get some seriously skeevy people on his side but I’m just confused about this whole thing. Why would Dad want Five back in the first place? Enough he was willing to hire people to kidnap him?”

“She has a point.” Diego admits grudgingly. He and Vanya get along better these days, but there’s still some shaky ground between them even after she apologized about the book. “Dad didn’t even bother looking after Five ran away when we were actually thirteen. And he didn’t look after Luther and Five ditched until now. So, what changed?”

“And why this shady way?” Vanya continues, “I mean, he’s got the law on his side technically. I mean, Luther isn’t exactly Five’s legal guardian. He could accuse Luther of being a kidnapper.”

“Hey!” Luther objects.

“She’s just saying what Dad could say.” Klaus rolls his eyes. “But I mean, we could argue that chronologically Five is, you know, twenty-five but I bet Dad would try declare incompetence even if that flew, which I mean. Look at him. It wouldn’t.”

Everyone’s heads swivel to the kid curled up on the couch, fast asleep with bruises already forming on his face. No doubt from when he mouthed off to his kidnappers - Cha-Cha has a temper after all and Five was practically conditioned to mouth off even in the face of fear and terror.

“He thought he was going to get in trouble.” Klaus says, very softly after a moment of silence. “Because he went with them, and he only went with them because he didn’t want me to get hurt.”

“I’m pretty sure Dad would have locked him up again. And you if that meant keeping him under control.” Diego points out, frowning harder at the thought of their father locking up not one but two of his brothers. “Maybe that’s why he didn’t go through official channels - because he knew he’d need collateral to keep Five cooperating with whatever insane plan he has cooked up. No way would the law be on his side for keeping Klaus at the very least.”

“No no,” Klaus shakes his head dismissively, then pauses. “Well, okay yeah I could see him doing something that level of creepy but that’s not what I meant. I meant he thought he was going to get in trouble with us.”

“It’s not his fault Dad’s a fucking psycho.” Vanya points out. Diego nods appreciatively. The biggest common ground keeping Diego and Vanya on civil terms was their mutual willingness to insult Reginald together.”

Klaus waves his hand in the air again, “Yeah, I know. But like, think about it. The only parent figure Five ever had was Dad and you know what he was like. He fucked us all up, but it’s a whole helluva lot fresher for Five. He doesn’t - he doesn’t know shit.”

“He’s been doing okay.” Luther says, just a little bit defensively. “He has some bad days, but therapy is helping. Plus Mr. Pennycrumb is as well. He’s trying really hard, you know how worried he is about the apocalypse.”

“I’m not commenting on your parenting skills bro.” Klaus placates, “You’re doing really good. Like, really good. Way way better than I ever thought you’d be capable of. But I mean. You stepped up when none of the rest of us did, and you basically became his father figure.”

“I’m not - I’m not Five’s dad.” Luther scoffs, but none of the others speak up either. He looks around a little more puzzled, “C’mon guys. It’s not like you aren’t here as well.”

“We’re not the ones setting boundaries,” Diego admits, looking at the floor. “We didn’t rescue him, or build him a life, and even you can’t ignore that he looks to you for comfort first before the rest of us. He looks to you before Vanya, dude. That’s not exactly what happened when we were kids, man.”

Vanya shifts, almost uncomfortably. “He didn’t really, uh, seek me out for comfort anyway. Mostly when I was having a bad day. I just. I just made him sandwiches when he looked like he was having a tough time is all. He’d never admit it.”

Luther sighs deeply. “He can have peanut butter and marshmallow sandwiches tomorrow I guess. Comfort food. Show him he’s not in trouble. But that still doesn’t mean that Five sees me as a dad.”

They all mutually agree to drop it seeing how defensive Luther is.

“Well I for one am going to spend all day tomorrow cuddling Five on the couch.” Klaus declares loudly, not even trying to hide the change of subject. “It’s a disney movie marathon sort of a day, me thinks.”

“I already took the day off.” Luther admits. “I told Sam that Five was having issues and he told me he understood and I could take time as needed.”

“I have nowhere else to be, tomorrow.” Diego shrugs, clearly planning on spending the day with them as well.

“I have practice but I can come by after? I’ll stop by the store for the ingredients of that potato dish I know Five likes as well. For dinner.” Vanya offers, receiving nods all around. Everyone appreciated Vanya’s cooking since exactly none of them were especially skilled in the culinary arts, though none of them were entirely hopeless.

Luther just sighs deeply, leaning back on the couch. “He’s just - he’s so young. Were we ever that young?”

They all sit in silence at that, contemplating. Because they had been that young, and it was only now looking back that they all realized how messed up it had been. Well, they realized it was even more messed up than they thought it had been, especially back when they were actually kids.

But also honestly picturing all the squad convincing Five to let loose and be a kid again while also convincing Five to not worry so much about the apocalypse happening in four years because he can’t just put his life on hold for four entire years.

Five being secretly happy and curious about things and excited but trying to hide it because he’s supposed to be focused on stopping the apocalypse and all that but he’s not nearly as difficult to convince to get off track as canon old man Five

I need to sleep heck

i just want a whole bunch of protective siblings is that too much to ask for and protective Five right back just a circle of protectiveness about everyone bless

#ask me #anonymous #responsible luther au #far tua long #tua #the umbrella academy #luther hargreeves #five hargreeves #number five #klaus hargreeves #diego hargreeves #vanya hargreeves #good brother luther hargreeves #honestly they're all good siblings in this au #me? making the family rally around five?? it's more likely than you'd think #now i'm just picturing how i'd put the handler in this au #honestly the handler and reginald teaming up is fucking TERRIFYING

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handsome-flower · 5 years

Text

Hey, so I was talking to a friend about the Umbrella Academy, and we also saw the new Avengers posters. So we imagined a few interaction between the Avengers and the Hargreeves siblings!

Five and Natasha just talking about their favourite methods to assassinate people

And ending up obvioulsy bragging to impress the other one

Diego and Bucky having a conversation because- I don't know, they're just two cute traumatized babies who stab people, I'm sure they would get along

And Bucky would love Grace's pancakes

Loki and Allison bitching about people (and maybe even their siblings/heroïc coworkers) at Starbucks, like the Judgemental Bitches™ they are

Loki listening to Vanya tell him about her childhood, and Vanya being actually happy that someone finally really understands her and listens without trying to manipulate her.

She's also really touched by Loki's story, and she realizes they share the same sensibility for arts and they soon become best friends

Tony talking to Five and realizing "Oh f*ck another kid who is actually more talented than me, when is it going to stop?!"

And Five having his little shit-eating smile all along

Thor and Allison sharing their hair care routines and tips

Five and Rocket, the 2 hargnous little things that no one takes seriously until they rip someone's arm off

Just then being in the same room and glaring at each other

That's it, that's the interaction

Steve explaining to Luther that No it is NOT a good solution to lock up a traumatized and scared person, for the Love of God Luther what were you thinking???

And also teaching him how to be a better leader, and Luther listens close because he actually wants to be a good leader for his siblings

Peter shyly going to Klaus after a few days spend with the siblings and asking if Klaus can tell his parents and his uncle that he loves them

And Klaus is just... he understands him, because he lost someone he loved more than anything too

So, the next time he is entirely sober, he goes to Peter and shows him his parents and uncle Ben, and the boy is so, so happy.

And that makes Klaus happy

We also imagined that Ben (Hargeeves this time) and Peter would bond, because they are somehow opposite in their acceptance of their powers?

Like, Ben didn't want his powers and he didn't want to be a hero, and he was forced to be. Peter, in the other hand, always absolutely wanted to be a hero, especially since he discovered his powers, but he couldn't be an Avenger. And they both hated this situation.

But the fact that they share totally different stories made them bond, and they can debate on the perks and drawbacks of being a hero.

Tony being totally frozen in place when he first meet Klaus.

Because this poor boy also has a "malediction" he has to bear (like Tony had his father's heritage and his ark resctor as a malediction), and he is intoxicating himself, like Tony did.

So his Dad's Sense wake up and he wants to adopt Klaus immediately

I also see Tony being served Grace's famous smiling pancakes

And he just... burst into tears, because his mom also used to do that for him when he was a kid

And everybody is frozen, not knowing what to do

And then Grace just grabs a tissue and rubs his back while wiping his tears and shushing him

Plot twist : Tony is the one ending up being adopted by Grace

And Diego is jealous because he doesn't want this man stealing his Mom

But Grace takes care of his boys super good and loves them both equally

And so they're all happy

Sorry if there is mistakes! English isn't my first language!

#umbrella academy #hargreeves siblings #marvel #avengers #crossover #that started pretty nicely #and suddendly : angst #but hey they're all happy in the end #so it's good i guess #the umbrella academy

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