Tumgik
#and i dont necessarily want to close my ask box so just understand it’s taking me a bit to get through them
gayspiderl8ver · 9 months
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I didn't figure this was an issue on this website initially
I saw an account that had a "bi lesbian" and "biphobia" in their dni list. Which is biphobia. I feel like maybe people don't understand or don't care about the difference between bi and pan. Pan just means you don't care about the person's gender. I thought I was pan for the longest time but what I actually didn't care about was the person's physical sex or other physical characteristics. These are not a part of gender, the thing someone pan does not care about. But I still like people of any gender, I just assumed I was picky, but I was the most picky about men. Doesn't matter if they're cis or trans, I just get more selective. I'm less selective with feminine men. This does not mean this is a transgender person in any way. they may be cis and just feminine, I'm less picky with femboys. but lesbian excludes these men, and also the other more masculine men I find sexually attractive.
The more I analyzed my sexuality, the more I found that I do still like men but I don't feel romantic attraction to them. And yes that includes femboys. I only feel romantic attraction to Women and sometimes enbies. Enbies is such a broad group of all kinds of different people. But the enbies that I feel more romantic attraction to are generally more woman leaning in identity. Not fashion or hormones necessarily. All of these feelings can only be described if I say bisexual (and then all these fucking caveats that just mean lesbian in romance and sex, bi in just sex). And I did describe myself like this for years. First I came out as bi to friends, then pan as I learned more (and then gay for the rest of highschool cause I was leaning fem before transition and then this girl asked my out and I panicked and said I like men actually), and none of these felt right but I felt like I had to choose lesbian or bisexual. neither of these were correct on their own because as it turns out, humans are not so concretely simple and fit into preset boxes. I just went with Bisexual that leaned towards women but (caveat, caveat, caveat, etc.)
Turns out the simple term for all this is just bi lesbian. An overlap of two umbrellas. Sapphic is close but still excludes some of them more masculine men I'm sexually attracted to. I don't want to ignore what I like to fit some idealized world view where people fit in distinct boxes. I think it's extremely simple to explain that my romantic and sexual desires aren't the same groups, my sexuality is a venn diagram and not a circle. Ain't no shame to it but it's real weird anyone would see that as a problem. I knew there was still biphobia around but to see it this frequently on an ostensibly progressive website is just scary.
I still have to fight for my right to exist in so many ways why do I have to take on another front when all I wanna do is just live my life? And I know these other people are fighting in their own ways for the right to live as themselves, its stupid to create a needless enemy of someone in the same boat.
I'm not looking to change a mind cause people like to create a social bubble and don't like it popped, and anyone wanting to engage in "debate" dont want a meaningful discussion they just wanna win and be the one to convince someone else. Has that ever actually worked? I guess I just saw that dni list and it was clicking against all the other dnis in my head that i saw that included "bi lesbian". Like to me it's no different than seeing someone putting "women dni" or "trans dni" in their bio or dni post or whatever. It's intrinsic and I didn't choose this. But these people have chosen to consider me as wrong or something. And that's kinda normal for me tbf I get it a lot day-to-day. but I think what got to me was just the "biphobes dni" bit on the other side of the same list. That contradiction is just eating at me and I need an outlet. And what better way to vent than on an ostensibly progressive website where I know in advance that people are brutal to each other for being or believing different.
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napoleon-usher · 3 years
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beann-e · 3 years
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Haikyu! Characters With A Shy Manager
Inarizaki Boys With A Shy Manager
tw” joke about ‘offing’ ones self & also overbearing parents
Read Part One Here
osamu
-osamu is someone who’s laidback and doesn’t show his anger much except for when his brother pisses him off and right now Atsumu was nearing the edge of his brothers patience
“ I don’t care what you do as long as your happy “
“ if thats what you want to do then who are we to stop you “
your eyes traveled as you watched osamus mouth quirk up in a small smile before turning into a frown at his brothers face
His body ignoring him and looking to you awaiting your answer his eyes speaking as if your words could change his decision
“ uh I— I don’- “
“ who cares what yer think “ atsumus voice came out in a yell as he turned to his brother
“ are you stupid why would you leave all of this — why would you throw all of this away “ he moved to point to everything in the gym and the balls that sat idle after a match theyd just played and won
“ this can provide for a family — life after high school ‘samu and you want to “
his face came up in confusion “ and you want to leave it all for a restaurant how — why— why would that make sense to you — it’s stupid “
you felt your body go slack as your face dropped into a pout at atsumu’s claims . Throughout all the times you’d seen them argue this had to be the biggest one you’d ever seen take place in front of the team.
You felt horrible your mouth wanted to open to try to protect osamu seeing as he was the only one who put effort into trying to speak with you.
Ever since you joined the team no one could really understand why you were so quiet except for osamu who would sit next to you during breaks and lunches that he’d share his food with you after you finished the bento box he’d made you
your heart tore as you watched him look to the ground ‘ just say something ‘samu please if this is what you want then tell him — it’s your life ‘
“ have you ever stopped and thought about how this may just be what you want ‘tsumu “
atsumus yells stopped as he heard his brothers voice and head pop up to target him
“ maybe this isn’t something I feel my talents are best used for “
he stood with his eyebrows furrowed in determination “ I like food — it makes me happy just like volley’ makes you so — I don’t care if it’s hard and not as easy as volleyball is for me right now —I want to do what my minds telling me to do “
he huffed “ and that’s to cook and open my own restaurant“
he moved to walk over to his brother to get closer with both his words and body “ and don’t you ever yell at them like that again you probably made them piss their pants “
he calmed himself down as he looked his brother in the eyes “ if your nice now “ he huffed out putting his arms into a hold across his chest “ maybe I might just give you a free meal when I open my restaurant “
Everyone’s body turned in shock and fear when they looked behind them to see your body shaking mouth being ripped open with a calming laugh as you clutched at you stomach
Everything seemed to slow in the gym as osamu watched your body ripple with the loud laugh that came out. Wondering how you’d held it inside for so long seeing as this was the first time anyone heard you laugh
“ y-y/n why — why are you laughing “
“ how can you laugh at a time like this we’re fighting“ Atsumus voice had calmed down in a state of panic at your new behavior
“ because osuma said you not gonna get any food“ you smiled “ and I know right now you don’t care but I bet when you get older and you see his amazing restaurant with a long line in front your gonna wish you’d sucked it up in this moment so you can take that free plate “
osamus mouth itched as his wide eyes squeezed shut at your bright smile his mouth opening before he could stop himself “ if you believe in me so much please believe I could keep you fed if you date me “
your body froze as everyone now turned in fear from you to osamu
“ Will I get rice for lunch everyday “ you giggled
“ i’ll make you anything you want out of rice if that’s what you like — i’ll even make you a wedding ring out of rice “
you laughed as you shook your head in a yes form “ as long as the foods included and you never give up on your dreams — no matter who believes in them “
your voice was soft “ then yes i’ll date you osamu “
you watched as he smiled widely sticking his tounge out at his brother “ oh now it’s really fuck what you think ‘tsumu— cause your the one who told me food wouldn’t be enough to get them to date me— I should’ve just made them the cake like I wanted and asked ‘em out “
The team all stood in shock as Arans mouth opened and closed before he spoke again “ u-uh how did that even make sense— what just happened “
sunas body relaxed against the wall as he spoke soft and quiet “ osumas quit volley’ to be a chef, y/n believes in him so their dating, and “ he pointed to atsumu
“ and once again Atsumu looks stupid “
Atsumu
-he’s not one who would necessarily get along with someone shy nor do I see him being able to. The way he acts may go two ways it may make the person comfortable or it may just irritate them and make them even more anxious
-I don’t think he’s one to see the signs , he would probably take your uncomfortable laughter as him making you laugh and tell the whole team he finally broke you and got you to laugh
“ atsumu “
The setter called as he threw up a new set for his brother in the two on two practice match. His hand hitting the ball hard in a spike as he won his team the final point
Your body dropping as you immediately knew what was coming “ y/n-san did you see that “
“ y-yes atsumu-senpai “
“ it was cool wasnt it “ he said as he moved towards you
“ y-yes “
he smirked as he slid his hands in his pocket looking down on you as he came to a stop in front of your body “ well when your just a great player like me things like that come easy so you don’t have to worry if I hurt myself or not “
he looked away from you and to the floor but eyes darting up to look at you again quickly “ because I didn’t so yeah — don’t think I did “
you smiled softly trying to think of a way out of this “ I-I didn’t think so “
“ yeah see you know someone like me would never get injured —I have to be a great role model to my sweet little first year“
he patted your head as he sat down next to you feet out in front of him “ don’t go turning into one of my annoying fan girls ok y/n “
“ I won’t “
“ ah you don’t mean that “ he bumped you softly “ you love me—so your loves gonna blind you you’ll see “
“ oh “
“ see you do — and I love you too “
“ dude they dont even like talking to you “
“ oh shut yer trap yes they do their in love with me we’re destined to be together “
“ yeah in death — that’s what your gonna do ‘tsumu yer gonna make them off theirselves by hearing yer loud mouth every single time you win a match “
“ y/n you love me right “
your body flamed as you let out an uncomfortable laugh moving over on the bench “ they look —their laughing because it’s true “
his body stopped “ wait “
you felt as the wheels were turning in his head —a bit slow but they were turning
his voice coming out in mumbles “ if their laughing— and i’m talking— and now their laughing after I spoke —-l”
he yelled “ I MADE Y/N-SAN LAUGH “
he screamed in happiness smile huge “ I made them laugh guys “
he jolted up jumping when he stood before racing over to the group that all turned to look at him “ their laughing guys I — I did it their laughing their laug—“
your eyes darted to the floor as atsumu fell head first into the floor his voice coming out in a whine as he shook coming up to grab his nose in pain before reaching down to rub his ankle that he felt was thumping like crazy
“ y-you lied you did hurt yourself “
he moved to run his hand across the back of his neck “ well when you say hurt what do you me—“
your laugh came out in short giggles as you tried to hide it not wanting to give him the satisfaction of making you laugh your head turning to the side as you gave up and laughed into the air
Your giggles sounding like a song atsumu always wanted to play through his headphones when he would walk to school
His body thinking before his mind as he stood up and ran again towards the team “ Guys their — I did it again and you all saw — i’m amazing “
he fell forward again but this time just lying there as he mumbled into the ground
“ their totally in love with me — I made ‘em laugh not once but twice in a row —I got a real shot now“
Aran
-I don’t know much about him because I haven’t finished haikyu! I just know what i’ve gathered from short clips or from what i’ve seen already in the seasons & read in manga but he’s very open minded
-whenever he’s around you he’s always quick to snap and stop someone from telling you that you aren’t allowed to do something because it’s “ not logical “
Your body moved slowly to the gyms exit as you felt a hand come down over your shoulder
“ walk ‘ya home ? “
you looked up face stoic in a slight yes at Arans question
since you’d joined the team as manager you had yet to connect with the other boys only really speaking to Aran and helping him out when he needed it
He came to like being around you because you were a change of pace from his usual one dealing with the twins antics. So it wasn’t that hard to hear him asking to walk you home for the past few nights when practice ran too long
he sighed as he looked down at you “ you never really speak but I feel like your face talks for you “
you looked to the ground as he laughed “ get it because your always stoic —and your face shows noth—ok“
he looked away not hearing your laugh or seeing a smile deciding to cough the atmosphere away “ ok yeah get it “
it wasn’t that you didn’t want to laugh you just couldnt your parents dug into you anytime you went home. Theyd have your head if you didn’t focus only on your studies so, it was hard for you to talk or even be around other people when it wasn’t for class it made you anxious and you weren’t sure how to interact
People took this as you being shy and you weren’t going to explain that you wanted to talk but just didn’t know how
He let his hand fall from your shoulder as the walk soon came to a close him leaving you to walk up to the stairs to your home
“ you may go “ you said softly as he shook his head with a big smile on his face
“ nope not until I know your in your house safely “
you nodded your head as you took a deep breath the door opening before your hand could meet the lock your fathers voice knocking you on your butt
“ who is this — who is he y/n “
“ I-I “
“ I heard more than your voice out here and came to the door “
“ were you waiting up for me “
“ yes you didn’t come home after school today “
“ oh I— there was a math meet i’m sorry “ your father looked away in disgust as you lied
“ your lying to me I called your school and they said you quit mathletes to be a manager of some volleyball club “
you gulped “ I um “
“ why would you do something stupid like that it can’t help you in the future — with your studies “
“ because I um — I like “
you shut yourself up just nodding your head as your father beat into you “ so dumb I thought I raised you correctly it doesn’t matter what you want to do or what’s fun you do what makes you smart and whats logical you do not hold feeli—“
“ I think their happy “ Aran smiled at the scene in front of him “ I think they enjoy being our manager very much “
“ and who told you to spea-“
“ my heart — it guides a person to make decisions ones like I just made — and ones that you made — you want the best for your daughter right “
you fathers actions faltered as Aran continued to press into him “ If you want the best than you have to realize y/n Is tired and she’s not used to friendly interaction — she’s very out of place and uncomfortable around people because she’s only used to school work“
he shook his head in concern “ is this what you want for your child — for your kid to only know how to talk about school and not have a moment where their not spending it thinking about math equations and growing overworked “
“ well I— “
“ on our volleyball team we work ourselves hard yes— but we’ve also become great friends through this hard work we’re happy doing what we do because our hearts led us to do it not our parents “
he looked to you and back to your father as he stood looking up from the bottom of the stairs “ so I ask that you let your child stay on the volleyball team since their heart brought them there to sign up for the job one tuesday afternoon at 3:30 in our gym during our second winning match of the season “
your dad nodded his head in shock as he whispered out an ok
Aran smiling and leaving after waving to you with a short see you tomorrow
Your dad holding the house door open for you as he walked over whispering out to you “ you better marry that boy “ he smiled as he moved through the house
“ he remembered every detail about when he first met you “
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bruh--wtf · 3 years
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The Message
Thomas x Reader
The Death Cure - I am writing for all three movies I suggest reading the first two parts of the series first. I know, it's long, but I'm having fun writing these.
Summary: The gladers need to get Minho back. And they're going through with Thomas's plan to take down WCKD. Things aren't at all simple.
Part 20
Main Masterlist
Previous Next
Maze Runner Masterlist
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You all tried your best to blend into the shadows. But that's hard when security is patrolling every street and half the walls are made of glass.
"They definitely upped security. I'm guessing you shanks have something to do with that," Gally suggests.
You all started running towards a shorter wall and Gally and Thomas help Newt hop it first. Then you. You grabbed Newt's hand, him helping you up. He wavered a little bit, and you looked down at his arm.
"You sure you're-"
"Yes! I'm fine!" He says. You look at him surprised by how angry he sounded. You look down to see Thomas hopping up without Gally's help. Then Gally climbs up.
Walking on the outskirts of the wall, you all eventually made it to the top of a building.
"There it is," Gally says. "If WCKD's got Minho, that's where they're keeping him." You look over at the bright blue building.
Gally pulls out something and mounts it on the pole. "Laurence has been trying to find a way in for years. Place is crawling with soldiers. Surveillance everywhere. Scanners on every floor."
You all lean on the bars, looking over at the building. Your head was going to be killing you by the time you got back to the others. But now, it wasn't that bad.
"Sounds like a fortress," you say. "I thought you said you had a way in, Gally."
"I might." You turn to look at him and so does Thomas.
"You might? The hell do you mean might?" Gally steps back.
"Take a look," Gally says. Thomas walks over and looks through the telescope. He lets out a breath. "I said I had a way in. I didn't say you were gonna like it."
Back with the others, Thomas shakes his head. "No, there's gotta be another way in."
"Like what? You've seen the building. She is our only way in," Gally says. You were standing next to Newt, thinking.
"You really think she's gonna want to help us?"
"I don't plan on asking her permission," Gally says.
"Am I missing something here? This is the same girl who betrayed us, correct?" Brenda asks, looking at you. You nod, and let out a breath.
"Yup, the one and only," you say, leaning your elbows on the table. She looks at Thomas.
"What's goin on?" Brenda asks. Thomas doesn't say anything.
"What, are you afraid your little girlfriend's gonna get hurt?" Newt asks. You look at him. He looked annoyed. "Hmm? This has never been just about rescuing Minho, has it?"
Thomas turns to Newt. "Newt, what are you talking about?"
"Teresa! She's the only reason Minho is even missing in the first place, and now we finally have the chance to get him back and what? You don't want to because of her?" Newt started getting in Thomas's face, pushing him back towards the wall. "Because deep down inside you still care about her, admit it."
"Newt, I don't-" Newt cuts him off, shoving him up against the wall.
"Don't lie to me! Dont. Lie. To me." Then he steps back. He looked at Thomas like he was surprised by what he had just done. You stared at Newt. No matter what, in the galde and out here, Newt was always the mediator. Alby and you could both let your emotions get the best of you sometimes, and he was the clear head. You'd never seen Newt that mad at someone else before. Especially a glader. Newt looks back at all of you.
"I'm sorry." He walks off. After a minute, you follow him. You go and sit on the ledge next to him.
"Are you okay? Tell me the truth, Newt," you say, looking at him. He looks over at you and lets out a breath. He glances behind you and you see Thomas coming over. He looks back at Thomas.
"Sorry about that. Back there." You continued to look at Newt. "Guess I can't hide this anymore." He rolls up his sleeve revealing a crank scratch. Your mouth falls open and you look up at him.
"Why didn't you tell me?" Thomas asks.
"Didn't think it would make any difference. All I know is that WCKD must have put me in that maze for a reason. Maybe it was just so they could tell the difference between immunes like you and people like me," Newt says to Thomas.
You lick your lips. "We can still fix it, Newt," you say. He shakes his head.
"Did I ever tell you about when I broke my leg?" He asks Thomas. "I know you know it happened, but you don't know how," he says to you. "It was way back in the maze. I'd just come up from the box. Like all the others. Didn't know where I was, didn't know who I was, you know. You know even with all my memories gone I could still feel that something was missing. You know?" You watch him and nod slightly. "I felt empty. I just... I couldn't hack that. Couldn't take it. So one morning I got up early. Snuck out into the maze. I went and I found the tallest wall I could. And I climbed up there and... I jumped off it."
You gape at Newt. You never knew that. "Of course I got completely tangled up in the ivy. Snapped my leg in three different places. Like a proper shank. Landed hard on the floor. I thought that was it." He pauses. "Then Minho found me. Somehow. Carried me back to the glade. Never told anyone what really happened. He saved me, gave me a second chance." You watch as Newt looks at Thomas. "Now he needs us, so if there is even the slightest chance that we can save him? We can get him out of there, then we have to take that. No matter what the cost."
"Okay, I hear you," Thomas says. Newt nods and looks back down at his arm. You kept looking at him, and after a moment you leaned on him, putting your head on his shoulder as you all looked up at the wall.
That night you all came up with a plan. And soon it was happening.
You watched from a distance as Thomas tricked Teresa into following him. "Thomas!" She calls. Just then he rounds the corner, and that's where you and Galy were. You all run quickly to your hiding places. You didn't know why you were there. You didn't need to be. And you kind of hated it. But Thomas asked you to. God, what is wrong with you? Where Teresa comes and looks around, Thomas comes out of his.
"Thomas."
"Hey, Teresa."
"You shouldn't be here. If Janson finds out you're here-"
"I'm not here to stay. It's just, uh, had to see you," he says, walking up to her. "I have to ask you something. Do you regret it? What you did to us?"
"Sometimes," she says. "But I did what I thought was right. I'd do it again." Thomas nods slightly.
"Got it," he says. He nods at Gally who comes out behind her and grabs her. You watch him drag her and Thomas goes over to you. He looked sad, but he nodded towards Gally. "Come on," he says. You nod following them as you all made it back.
Gally unhoods her and she stares at him. She looks at Thomas, who was sitting a little further away from her. You and Newt were sitting down next to him. Frypan standing behind you.
"Gally?" She sounded surprised. You didn't blame her.
"Here's how this is going to go. We're gonna ask you some questions, and you're gonna tell us exactly what we need to know. Start off simple," Gally says and grabs a chair. "Where's Minho?" She looks at Thomas.
"You guys don't seriously think that-" Gally slams the chair down, sitting on it backwards, so he was still facing her.
"Don't look at him. Why are you looking at him? Look at me," Gally says. "He's not gonna help you." Thomas looks up and over at her. You turned to look at Gally and Teresa again. "Now we know that you have him in the building. Where?" She pauses for a second before looking at Gally again.
"He's with the others in holding. Sub level three."
"How many others?" Newt asks. Teresa hesitates, avoiding looking at Newt.
"Twenty eight," she says shakily. Gally looks back at Brenda who nods.
"I can make that work." She was playing cards with Jorge.
"No, no you guys don't understand. The whole level's restricted. You can't get in without a thumbprint ID." You nod along with her words, drawing her attention back over to you and Thomas.
"That's why you're coming with us," you say when she's done.
"Well, I don't know. We don't necessarily need her. Right?" He stands up, walking to the table. "Not all of her." He grabs a knife. "We just need her finger."
"Gally, back off," Thomas says.
"What are you squeamish? I guarantee you she's done a lot worse to Minho," he says.
"I said, back off," Thomas says, grabbing the knife.
"Won't make a difference. Do whatever you want to me. You still won't get through the front door. The sensors will pick you up as soon-"
"We know. We're tagged. Property of WCKD," Thomas says and walks over to her. He crouches down next to her. "You're gonna help us with that too."
You sat there with Teresa behind you. The guys wanted to go first. Make sure she didn't kill them before letting you go. Gally could probably care less, but the others insisted. You watched looked over at Thomas and the others.
"Try to relax." You scoff slightly.
"You're behind me with a knife. I'll try my best," you say sarcastically. She lets out a breath, and presses the knife to your neck. You close your eyes, taking a sharp breath.
"I was hoping I'd see you again, you know," she says quietly. You chuckle slightly.
"Oh yeah? Can't say the same," you say.
"I was hoping because I wanted to tell you..." she pauses, taking the knife away and starting to try and clean it a little bit. "Jack is doing great." You quickly turn your head to face her. You wince, and hold a hand up to your neck.
"Shit." You stand up, looking at her. She sighs, sitting there.
"He's eleven now. We've been working with him. He's not being tested on. He's shaping up to be a very smart boy," she says. You continued to stare at her.
"Working with him?" Your little brother... was working with WCKD. Well, shit. Thomas comes over.
"What's going on?"
"I thought you'd be happy to hear that he's okay," Teresa says. You roll your eyes.
"Yeah, I'm enthused," you say, sarcasm still in your voice. You turn your back on her, walking away. Thomas was up after you anyways. You go over and sit next to Gally.
"What was that about?" Frypan asks. You crossed your arms, looking down. You didn't answer him. You were thinking. The little boy from your dreams... the boy who once was the reason you were alive... he was being trained by the people trying to kill you.
Not long after, Newt hands you guys clothes. You take yours, going to go change. When you get back, you see Thomas and Teresa standing and Gally walking up to them.
"Everything okay over here?" He asks. Thomas nods.
"Yeah, we're done," Thomas says and turns away. You were close enough that you saw Teresa's hand move towards the tray that had her knives on it. You grab her wrist.
"Careful there. Wouldn't want you to get hurt," you say. She looks at you. You nod at Gally. The others go to change and you were stuck with Teresa.
"Jack talks about you," she says. You don't look at her but she knew you were listening. "He always asks when he can see you. How you are. If you'll be back soon. He keeps saying that you promised that you'd-" you stand up, kicking her legs out from underneath her.
"Shut the hell up," you say. She managed to not hit her head and land pretty much okay. She looked unscathed. That was your goal. Can't have her looking damaged. She stares up at you and glances behind you. You turn and see the guys coming back.
"What the hell was that?" Gally asks. You roll your eyes.
"Doesn't matter. Lets just do this, yeah?" You say, walking past them. Not even glancing back at Teresa.
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backtobackbakubabe · 4 years
Text
Baby its Cold Outside (PART 10)
Bakugo x Reader
Barefoot in the Kitchen
Words: 2406
PART 1 HERE, PART 2 HERE, PART 3 HERE PART 4 HERE PART 5 HERE , PART 6 HERE PART 7 HERE PART 8 HERE PART 9 HERE PART 10 HERE PART 11 HERE PART 12 HERE PART 13 HERE PART 14 HERE
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Moving was awful. You hated packing. You hated unpacking. You hated the weather. It was too damn hot. You hated everything. It didn't help that you were still feeling sick. You had gone to see a doctor after Bakugo practically forced you to, and they had run some test. You were expecting a call any minute now to discuss the results.
Bakugo had been so irritable the past few days. He hated moving just as much as you did. He wanted everything to be put away in its proper place as soon as possible and you were just slowing everything down. He had to go behind you and fix everything because he liked everything a certain way. He was trying not to yell at you because he knew you weren't feeling well, but then he would just get even more frustrated because he knew you were ill and he didn't know how to make it better. So he was grumpy and you were cranky and you both just needed a break.
After your apartment was compromised you both had decided it was time to move into a house. You were pro heros, you could afford it, so you moved into a nice gated community. It was a lot farther from work than you would have liked, but weirdly enough it was kind of close to UA. Maybe you’d go pay Aizawa a visit soon.  
You were in the middle of putting the dishes away (which you knew was pointless because Bakugo was just going to rearrange them anyways) when your phone rang. Giving you an excuse to take a break.
“Hello?”
“Hello is this Y/n Y/L/N?”
“Yes. Can I ask who is calling?”
“This is Dr. Jeong. You came into my clinic yesterday. I’m calling with your test results.”
You sighed in relief, “Oh thank god. What’s wrong with me doc and how do I fix it.”
He cleared his throat sounding a bit uncomfortable, “Well I wouldn’t necessarily say anything is wrong with you. And as for how you fix it... well I would say you should be fine in about eight months.”
You froze.
“Y/N you are pregnant. Congratulations.”
“I’m.. what? I’m Pregnant?”
“I take it by your tone you were not expecting this. But yes, you are pregnant about four to five weeks along I’d say. If you would like to set a follow up appointment I would be glad to refer you to an excellent colleague of mine who is an OBGYN.”
It took a while before you realized he was waiting for you to respond, “Oh.. uh yeah. That would be great. Would you mind emailing it to me. I’m in the middle of moving and I don’t have anything to write it down.”
“Of course. I’ll have someone send that over to you right away. In the meantime I would hold back on overusing your quirk. All that exertion isn’t good for the baby and is likely what is making you so sick. It’s your bodies way of trying to get you to slow down. Do you understand?”
You felt like a child be scolded for something you didn't even know you did, “Oh yeah of course! Had I known I wouldn't have been pushing myself so hard to begin with!”
“Well that’s all I have for you now. Have a great day and congratulations again.”
You sat there suspended in time for a while. You didn't know how to feel. On one hand you were really excited. You’ve always wanted kids, and you cant imagine doing it with anyone other than Bakugo. On the other hand. You’ve only been together for a little over six months and you don’t even know if he wants kids. You hadn't had that talk yet. Sure Zuko grew on him, but Zuko is not a human baby.
“Oi, what gives? You’ve been staring at that box of dishes for like five minutes.”
Your cheeks flushed, “Oh uh nothing! I was just trying to figure out where I should put the coffee mugs.”
He squinted his eyes at you like he didn't believe you, but he didn't push you, “Probably in the cabinet above the coffee pot... You know like most normal people.”
“Pfffft why didn't I think of that. Thanks Honey. What would I do without you!”
He kept looking at you like you had lost your mind, “Look I’m going to the store to pick up some stuff, is there anything you need while I'm there? And no, Ice cream is not an option... You’ve literally been eating it everyday and someone has to be the adult. You need real food.”
You bit your lip as you realized how dad like that statement was. “Okay Dad...” You giggled at your stupid little inside joke. Oh you'd be getting that ice cream. “I’m fine just hurry back,”
He kissed your cheek, “Try not to break anything while I’m gone okay.”
As soon you heard the door click closed you ran to the bedroom. You shuffled through boxes of clothes until you found a plain white t shirt. You knew Bakugo would get mad but you didn't care. He’d only be mad for a minute... you hope.
You took out a sharpie and wrote Big Brother on it.
“Come here Zuko! Come here buddy!” You slipped the shirt over him with little fuss. “Oh daddy’s in for a surprise when he gets home huh? Oh yeah we’re going to freak him out aren't we buddy?” You rubbed Zuko's head before going to your stomach. Oh this is so weird. Theres something growing inside of you. Like a little human is in there right now! A little Bakugo... oh shit, “Baby please don’t blow mommy up okay?”
You sat your pregnant ass down on the couch, deciding you are done with unpacking for the day. And no one can tell you shit because you’re pregnant and that’s just how it goes.
Bakugo retuned home and went straight to the kitchen to put away the groceries, “Y/N! Did you not do a single thing while I was gone? You literally asked me where to put the coffee mugs and then you just left them on the counter...”
You stood in the doorway to the kitchen, “Daddy’s home!”
He rolled his eyes, “I swear are you on something I don’t know about? You’re acting so weird. Since when do you call me daddy? We’re kinky but we’re not that kinky y/n.”
Just then Zuko ran in excited to see Bakugo, “And what the fuck is this?! That’s my shirt women. You cant go putting my clothes on the fucking dog! Have you fucking lost it?”
You went over and started putting the coffee mugs away while he leaned down to try and take the shirt off Zuko.
“Big brother? Fuck Y/N did you get another dog? We just finished training Zuko we dont have time...” You froze as you let him put the pieces together.
“Get the fuck out of here? Are you pregnant?”
You were too scared to see his reaction so you just nodded, continuing to put away coffee mugs. You leaned over to pick up a box of cutlery.
“PUT IT DOWN! Are you trying to kill me! You tell me you’re pregnant and then immediately attempt to pick up a heavy box. Put it the fuck down!”
You finally turned around to see Bakugo with tears threatening to spill out. He took your face in his hands, “You’re really pregnant?”
You nodded again, a tear slipping down your cheek. “Yes, I got the call today..” His lips crashed to yours.
You pulled back to look him in the eye, “So I take it you’re okay with that?”
He dropped to his knees and kissed your still flat belly, “Okay with it? I’m so fucking excited! Y/N we get to have a little mini you!”
You laughed, “Or a mini you. I’d be okay with a little Katsuki.”
He scoffed,  “I was a little asshole.”
You quirked an eyebrow, “Was?”
He slapped your ass, “Just because you’re pregnant doesn't mean you can get sassy with me now.”
You ran your fingers through his hair, “Oh that’s exactly what it means. Now let’s go get that Ice cream you told me I wasn't aloud to have.”
He stood back up and kissed your forehead, “I dont know. Now that I know you're pregnant I feel like I should be cooking even healthier food. Only the best for my baby.”
“Katsu-”
“I’m kidding! Besides... I already got you ice cream.”
You kissed his nose, “You’re the best!”
He picked you up and placed you on the counter, “Is it weird that knowing you’re pregnant makes me want to take you right here?”
You bit your lip, “Is it weird that I want you too?”
Your sweatpants were practically torn off and within seconds he was pushing inside you. “Of fuck babe!” You didn't know if it was the pregnancy hormones or what but you could have came right then and there. You were so sensitive.
He was so gentle which was so unlike him. He pressed his forehead against yours, one hand on your hip the other one cradling your neck. He left soft kisses all over your face and chest. It was so sweet. He took one of your breasts in his hand and gave it a gentle squeeze which had you moaning, “I can’t wait for these to get even bigger.”
You huffed, “They're not the only thing that’s going to get bigger... I’m going to blow up like a balloon.”
He took you chin in his hand and gave you a fierce kid. “That just gives me more of you to love. You’ll always be the sexiest woman in the room to me.”
So that’s how you christened the kitchen. And then the living room. And then you tried to clean up and take a shower, and damn if you didn't fuck there too.
Now you were both laying in bed, completely naked, spooning and watching something on netflix. Katsuki’s hand rubbed lazy circles on your stomach, “You think I’m going to be a good dad?”
You took took his hand in yours and intertwined your fingers, “I think you’re going to be a great dad.”
When he didn't respond you elaborated, “I think you’re going to love our kid with a passion thats unmatched by anyone. Just like the way you love me. I think you’ll teach them to be smart enough to know the difference between right and wrong, and I think you’ll teach them to be strong enough to choose right every time no matter hard that might be. You’ll teach them to be brave and hardworking just like you.”
He nuzzled his head into your shoulder, “I don’t deserve you. You’re so sweet, and loving and.. and just genuinely kind. I know that’s what you’ll teach our kids. You’ll teach them empathy, compassion, and selflessness. I may teach them how to fight but you’re definitely going to be the one to teach them when to walk away. You’ll teach them to see the best in others and how to express their feelings in a positive way.”
“Sounds like a pretty damn good kid if you ask me.”
You didn’t have to see him to know he was smiling, “Well they’re our kid, of course they’re going to be awesome. Can you imagine if they go one our quirks? Or shit maybe some weird combination of the two? Unstoppable. Future number one hero material!”
You rubbed your stomach, “I’m just glad kids don't develop quirks until after they're born and a little older. Can you imagine a vanishing baby?! Or having to worry about the little nugget setting off explosions while they’re still in the womb?!”
He chuckled, “I remember my mom duck taping fire retardant gloves on my hands when I was little to keep me from setting things on fire. Little did she know she was just making it worse because my hands sweat so much worse in the gloves and made me explosion so much bigger.”
“Yeah you joke all the time about putting a bell on me but my dad actually would do that! Of course when I was little I could only go a couple feet but still, he was losing me constantly!” Bakugo was full on laughing now, “Well at least we’re not our parents right? We’ll be able to help them out a little no matter what their quirk is.”
His laughter stopped and you could tell there was something bothering him. “What if they’re quirkless?” You could hear the sadness in his voice. No doubt remembering all the years he bullied Izuku for being quirkless.
“So what? We’ll love them anyways. And when they get older we’ll tell them the story about uncle Izuku and how he wanted to be a hero so bad he practically made it happen.”
“What if they hate me? The way I hated my mom...?”
You turned around to see the worry etched into his face, “None of that now. They will love you! It’s hard not to.” You gave him a soft smile.
“Oh shit what if it’s a girl?!”
You giggled, “What do you mean? Just an hour ago you were hoping it was a little mini me.”
He ran a hand over his face, “Yeah well that was when I was imaging a little baby, maybe even a toddler. I’d love to have a daddy’s girl. But shit what about when she gets older? You’re beautiful! If she looks anything like you I’ll have to beat the boys off with a stick!”
“Or girls. You don’t know what she’s into...”
“FUCK! I’ll have to worry about everyone! I’ll never be able to sleep at night!”
You laughed, “Ah you’ll be fine. Maybe you’ll luck out and we’ll have a boy first. A little mamma’s boy”
He smirked, “I like how you say first. Insinuating that there will be more kids after this one. We’ll have our own little hero family...”
You gave his lips a quick peck, “Sounds like a great idea to me. After all we are pretty good at the whole baby making process by now”
He gave you a devilish grin, “Oh yeah, all this talk about baby making... makes me want to you know practice.”
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panda-noosh · 5 years
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Request: I JUST SAW REQUESTS ARE OPEN SO PLLEEEEEAAAAASSSSSSEEEE MAKE MORE PIDGE STORIES (preferably ones that dont end in sadness) like maybe one about y/n secretly being related to one of the other paladins or some shiz idk just aNYTHING WITH MAH PIDGEON 💚💚💚💚💚💚 also I friggin live for your writing its amazing and i don't understand
For: @kiiitkaaat4231
---
    When Pidge saw you, it was an accident. 
    She wasn’t necessarily avoiding you, but she certainly hadn’t stepped out of the house this afternoon with the intention of running into you. For weeks, she’s been doing a pretty decent job of keeping herself to herself, because when it comes to you, she’s stomping on very, very bumpy territory.
   It’s such a cliche, and she knows this. She accepts this, but that doesn’t mean she’s going to try and come out the winner. At the end of the day, her friendship with Lance means everything to her, and she will never be willing to sacrifice that for the sake of a crush that - let’s be honest - might not even lead anywhere.
   Pidge certainly isn’t willing to test it.
    But tonight, the workload gets too much. She’s been trapped in her bedroom nearly the entire day, dawdling over the same god damn software for one hour too long - it’s making her head hurt. Physically ache, to the point where not even shifting the screen lighting will help. That’s when she knows its time to pack in and perhaps treat her body like what it is - her body.
    She’s not in a good mood when she pulls herself from her room and heads downstairs. She’s not thinking clearly. She doesn’t even look both ways to make sure you’re not in the hallway before she leaves - she just walks, and perhaps that’s where the first trip up came into place.
    She doesn’t notice it. Not through the aching pains of her hunger. Not through the blur that is her thoughts.
    She waltzes right into the kitchen, one hand tangled in the hair at the back of her head, the other mindlessly scratching her stomach-
   Both of them snap to her sides when she looks up and sees you standing there, head buried in the cupboard, a number of ripped open cereal boxes littering the ground beside you.
    Pidge wants to turn back. She wants to turn around and flee before you turn around and see her, but her feet are frozen and she knows if she gets caught with her back to you, it’ll make the situation ten times worse. So she stays standing there, blinks a few times to try and clear her head so she doesn’t make a complete fool out of herself when you eventually look up and see her- 
    She sneezes.
   You jolt upright, head slamming against the top of the cupboard, a half-eaten box of Cookie Crisp tipping over and spilling beside you.
    “Jesus!” you exclaim, rubbing the back of your head, spinning to look at the shocked Pidge who is currently still standing in the doorway with her jaw agape and her eyes wide. “You could have said something a little earlier!”
   “I feel like you would have reacted the exact same way,” Pidge replies. She waltzes over, bends down and starts scooping the spilled cereal into her palm. “Can I ask what you’re doing?”
    You help her clean as you speak, and Pidge has to will herself not to lean forward and kiss you with how close you are right now - there’s been a number of close calls. Pidge doesn’t want to ponder on those.
     “I was cleaning out the cupboards,” you reply. “Hunk keeps buying new cereals from the different planets we go to, and all the other ones end up going stale. I thought I’d go through and throw them out.”
   Pidge raises a brow. “At half two in the morning?”
   You shrug. “I also couldn’t sleep.”
   “That’s a McClain thing, I think.”
   You scoff. “Absolutely not. Once Lance is out-”
   “Lance is barely a human. Therefore, my argument still stands.”
   You smile, ducking your head down in your attempts to hide it. Pidge wants to hug you. She wants to hug you. It’s such a weird feeling, considering she’s never been that type of girl before - she used to hate hugs, but there is a sudden appeal to the idea of wrapping you in her arms and holding you close.
    “Anyway,” you continue. “What are you doing up, Miss Pidge Gunderson? And why do I have the honours of your company?”
   Pidge blushes, tries to hide it, probably fails. “I was working. My brain got a little . . . lagged, so I came downstairs to get some food and that’s when I saw you.”
   “That’s when you scared the shit out of me for no reason.”
   Pidge smiles sheepishly. “Sorry.”
   You shrug. “No big deal. At least it was you. I like you.”
   Pidge’s heart thunders. She wills it to shut up, because what a stupid thing to react to. You’ve hugged her before. You’ve praised her and cried in her arms when she returns from missions - hearing you say you like her shouldn’t make her head spin in the way it does. 
    “I like you, too,” she says. And perhaps it’s the way it comes out as more of a whisper that catches your attention. Maybe it’s the way Pidge refuses to look up, the way she grips the cereal box a little tighter. Whatever it is, your attention is grabbed and suddenly you’re looking at Pidge with narrowed eyes.
    “Hey,” you say, reaching forward. You hesitate before placing your hand on top of hers, and immediately Pidge’s eyes slip closed. “Are you alright?”
   And then she says fuck it.
    “Would Lance be pissed off if I took you on a date over the weekend?” 
    The words are out so fast. She has to look up to make sure you’ve heard them correctly - part of her wishes you haven’t. She could redo it. She could bring herself together, be in a better headspace, not so panicked and jumpy because your hand is on hers.
    Your eyes soften immediately. Pidge prepares herself for rejection - you’re gonna try and let her down easy, and Pidge is gonna have to appreciate it and move on. She looks away, quickly waving her free hand in front of her face, because she’s too paralysed to move the other one.
    “Actually, you know what, that was unfair,” she says. “I shouldn’t have sprung than on you. I shouldn’t have just assumed you’d be willing to-”
   “It depends on where you’re taking me.”
   Pidge freezes, eyes snapping to your own. “Pardon?”
   You grin, and Pidge positively melts. “It depends on where you’re taking me,” you repeat. “He won’t like it if you’re taking me to some shabby old, run-down restaurant. He’ll want something a little better, I think.”
   Pidge swallows thickly, hardly believing her ears. She nods anyway. “O-of course. I wanna - I wanna take you to the best restaurant I can find. I wanna spoil you a little bit.”
   You shrug. “A good night in with some takeout pizza might not annoy him too much.”
    “You’re not inviting him, are you? I kind of just want it to be us two.”
   You giggle, lean forward and press a small kiss to Pidge’s cheek. “I’ve wanted it to be just us two for months, Pidge Gunderson. I’m glad you’ve finally caught on.” 
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petertingle-yipyip · 7 years
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//requested x2: Part two to breaking Kol’s heart (Davina’s older sister plot)//
//warnings: angst?//
Part One
This was it. After nearly a year, I would see my sister again. The one and only, Davina Claire. She was coming up for a visit, and she was bringing her Mikaelson arm candy.
Knowing my past with the Mikaelsons, anyone would understand why I was apprehensive about letting her date one of them. If I had to give my blessing to her dating any of them, I would’ve preferred her with Rebekah because let’s face it. Who wouldn’t date Rebekah?
“Are you okay with it?” Bonnie asked as I finished wiping off the coffee table. I glanced over and she dropped into the couch. “Davina dating one of the Originals?”
“Not necessarily.” I answered, tossing the rag in the trash and coming to sit next to her. “But, it’s not my decision to make. If she trusts him and cares for him, then I guess I have to live with it.”
“Who do you think she’ll bring?”
“If I had to pick one, I’d put her with Rebekah.” I laughed. “But, I don’t know. I never thought she’d date any Mikaelson.”
There was a knock at the door so I jumped up. I smiled widely and ran to the door. I threw it open and saw Davina standing there with a smile just as wide. We both squealed slightly and hugged each other tightly.
“I can’t believe you’re here!” I exclaimed when we pulled away.
She was stunning. I could feel how powerful she was. She held her head high, with confidence. She was well on her way to being a witch that demanded respect.
“I know!” She replied happily. “I missed you so much!”
“You have to tell me everything.” I nodded and pulled her inside. “Starting with, how are you dating a Mikaelson? Where is he? Which one is it?”
“He’s parking and getting the gift out the trunk.” She said, glancing over her shoulder to find him. “I don’t even know how it really started. It just kinda clicked one day.”
“You must be Davina.” Bonnie said. “I’m Bonnie.”
“Go into the living room with Bonnie, D.” I told her. “I’ll hang out so I can invite your boy toy in.”
Bonnie ushered Davina into the living room, them chatting about New Orleans. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t nervous. I hadn’t seen any of the Original family since I left, nearly a year ago. Sure, I called and texted them all the time but seeing them in person was going to be different, exciting.
Someone tapped on the door so I looked up, being pulled out of my worries and thrown into a new one. He stood on the other side of the doorway, a small wrapped box in hand. He wore a maroon t-shirt that outlined his body fairly well with perfectly styled hair. I never thought in a million years it would be him, standing before me. I never thought I’d hear him speak again. I never thought he’d be dating my baby sister.
“Hello, Darling.” He smiled cunningly. “Aren’t you going to invite me in?”
“Kol?” I questioned in disbelief. There was no way he’d be dating my sister. “What are- Are you Davina’s boyfriend?”
“As a matter of fact, I am.” He nodded with a smirk.
There was no way this was happening. My ex was dating my sister. The man I still loved was dating my only sister. My younger sister at that. The man I still carried in my heart had moved on.
“Y/N?” Davina said, shaking my shoulder. “Are you okay?”
She was in love. I could see it in her eyes. He was everything to her, the same way he was for me. He was her protector, her love, her inspiration. He was everything he was to me and more. So I forced a smile and stepped to the side.
“Please, come in.” I said politely and he slowly walked by, scrutinizing my facial expression. He knew my smile was fake. He knew I was hurting. All this time and I was still an open book.
We took our seats in the living room as talked for hours. I sat next to her and she had Kol on her other side. She leaned against him and draped her legs over my lap. Bonnie sat on the chair next to us, facing the conversation and chiming in. Davina explained everything that happened after the Harvest. She talked about how she met Kol. She talked about Camille, the girl Klaus was fixed on.
“Did you bring the karaoke machine from the attic?” She asked.
“You have a karaoke machine and you never told me?” Bonnie laughed.
“I never brought it cause I don’t sing anymore, Davina.” I shot her a look. My face was getting hot and my foot tapped. See, I kept my singing secret from Kol because the only time I sang, was when Davina couldn’t sleep or when we had the house to ourselves.
“I never heard you sing, Y/N.” Kol said softly. He almost sounded hurt.
“Cause I don’t.” I shrugged, dropping my gaze. I hated seeing Kol hurt. The image of his broken heart was seered into my mind and every time I closed my eyes I saw it. I didn’t need another image.
“Y/N,” Davina said and sat up straight. She put a hand on my shoulder and looked at me worriedly. “Something’s wrong.”
“No.” I shook my head with another fake smile. “Everything’s great.”
“I know you, Big Sis.” She urged, taking my hand in hers. “Something is hurting you. Tell me.”
“It’s me.” Kol announced.
“Kol, don’t.” I sighed.
“No, Y/N. She doesn’t know.”
“Are you serious!?” I groaned and pushed myself up. I left Davina sitting confused on the couch and Kol stood as well. “You’ve been with her for how long and you never told her?”
“I didn’t.” He sighed, crossing his arms. “It never came up.”
“Oh my god. I can’t believe this.” I pushed my hands through my hair.
“Wait, what are you two talking about?” Davina asked, standing up. She stood next to Kol, putting her hand on his arm. “Talk to me.”
He looked over hear head and caught my eyes. He was confused. While I  believe he loved Davina, he wasn’t sure if he still loved me as well. I understood what he meant.
“Davina, let’s go see if we can find that karaoke machine.” Bonnie offered and Davina reluctantly agreed. She placed a kiss on Kol’s cheek before leaving. I mouthed a thank you to Bonnie who nodded and disappeared up the stairs.
“Why didn’t you tell her?” I asked when they were out of sight.
“Maybe I had hope you’d come back.” He shrugged.
“I can’t. I left for a reason.”
“Which you never shared.”
“I don’t have to…” I trailed off. He rolled his eyes and licked his lips in irritation. “But maybe I should. Listen, Ba- Kol. My parents made me leave. They said NOLA wasn’t safe for me because I was getting so powerful. Power makes enemies, you should know that.”
“You could’ve told me.” He put his hands on his hips. “I would’ve understood. I do understand now that you told me…”
“Klaus called, all the time.” I added with a small smile. “Said you wouldn’t stop staring at your phone.” He gave me a slightly annoyed look. “Klaus also said that you were moping for a while since I left.”
He scoffed with a smile and walked closer. He reached out a hand and I slowly took it. His touch was so familiar and safe.
“He’s not wrong.” He laughed slightly. “I did miss you. At times, I still do. You changed a lot of things for me. But I’m sure you’ve met someone else.”
“I actually haven’t.” I shrugged, looking down at our hands. It was so comfortable. So loving. So sweet. So genuine. “You know, there was no pretending with you. One look and you knew what I was thinking… You still do.”
“That’s what it’s like when you love someone.” He smiled softly. His other hand reached for my cheek but I moved away from his touch.
“What the hell is this?” Bonnie whispered and hurried across the room. She pushed Kol away and stood between us. “What if she had come down instead?”
“Uh- I- I just” I began before I heard it. Bonnie dropped he head and stopped away.
“Y/N? Kol?” Davina said. I heard the heartbreak in her tone. “What…”
“I’ll tell you everything, Vina.” I promised. “Just come sit down.”
Slowly, she came and sat on the touch. She didn’t look at Kol. She kept her whole trust in me. She always did. So I told her the truth. I told her how Kol was the one I dated. How I had to leave him. How I missed him terribly when I left. How I tore myself apart trying to let him go. How when he walked in, I felt myself ignite internally from seeing him again. How I was thrilled she was happy, but I was confused to see him with her. Maybe a little hurt.
“Did you start dating me because she’s my sister?” She said to Kol. “Because I reminded you of the girl you loved with your whole heart? Because I reminded you of the one that got away? The one you didn’t know if you could live without?”
“That’s what he told you?” I asked. My heart fluttered. My blood ran warm.
“Yeah. But he never mentioned a name. I thought he was just too hurt, but now I see why.” She answered.
“Vina, Little Sis, I never wanted to hurt you.” I said, putting a hand on her arm. “I don’t want anything or anyone to come between us. You’re the only family member I have left since mom and dad disappeared.”
“Dont worry, Y/N.” She smiled slightly. “It won’t.” She turned to Kol. “You need to choose, Kol. Me or Y/N?”
“We’ll understand whoever you pick.” I added and Davina nodded. She hooked her arm through mine and leaned against me. “Because I want Davina to be happy. I want you to be happy. Davina wants you to be happy. Davina wants me happy.”
He didn’t say anything for a minute. He walked forward and stood before us. He took one of my hands and one of my sister’s. He brought one hand to his lips and then the other.
“I never meant for this.” He said softly. “You both have a special place in my heart. Y/N, you were the first girl that made me feel loved. You gave me the appreciation and fulfillment that my family never did. You changed me. I will never forget that. And Davina, you fixed my broken heart. You helped me love again. You showed me that there was a world after Y/N left. That’s why I have to do this. For both of you.”
He stepped back, dropping both of our hands and he sprinted out of my house. Davina and I ran to the front door but by that time, he was long gone. It felt empty in my chest. He didn’t choose me, and he didn’t choose Davina.
Davina leaned against me and I wrapped my arms around her. I knew she felt the same emptiness I did. Her heart had been tore out and then dropped. I didn’t think I would ever hurt because of Kol again, but this time it felt even worse.
We went back to the couch as Bonnie finished setting up the karaoke machine. She smiled slightly, offering me the microphone.
“Y/N, wanna go first?” She asked.
I took the mic and stood, selecting a song. The night continued full of songs, pizza, sodas, and magic. We forgot about what happened with Kol for the time being. We were undoubtedly a family.
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Unpack Yourself
Across the table, sits my school Principal, Mrs. Sonali Sen. The most sublime, tranquil, and, most importantly, a heroic woman. On my visit as an Alumni to D.P.S. Newtown, she looked at me and told me, “You need not be in the dark room. And, you need not wait for the door to open. In fact, you need not settle for one room”. While I was graduating from Jadavpur University, a very proud Comparative Literature student which convinced me to think that I knew everything about what I want to do in life and was so certain about my goals, Mr. Samantak Das, most favorite professor in this world who made me fall in love with Tagore, in his white kurta and a cigarette in his hand shouted to me in the corridor and said, “Dont be a good girl, Rumela. Be a rebel, you already are. Just don’t stop being you”. The slow learner that I am, I never could figure out the meaning beyond these words spoken to me by the two people who have influenced me the most in life. It took me several failures, heart-breaks, and, wrong choices (expert at that, for sure) to decode it.
As you read this, you have already limited yourself in thoughts and assumptions about what this particular piece is about. In fact, you are sitting in your cubicle/ classroom/ cab, etc., and have stitched your worries for the day, targets to meet, close the accounts (I say these things because I see most of my colleagues do the same every damn morning till the night, and, the circle continues), feel all the burden of the things that you cannot say a simple NO to, slog your brain to accept how you are unable to do the task right now and end up believing that you’re a failure. My best friend Sarah tells me, “Ru, take everything with a pinch of salt”. Fortunately and unfortunately, I have never done that, I will never do that. This way, I win some, I lose some and that is absolutely okay. A great man (cannot reckon the name) once said, “If you get everything you want in life, you are leading a rotten life”. Having tasted failures (math tests for sure, uncountable times) in several things and situations, I have battled Depression, I have been involved in an abusive relationship for almost a year, I have made choices that didn’t help me grow by an inch, and, I did sit in a dark room where I failed to extract answers to the questions that popped out of my brain’s cortex and stood right in front of me, bullying me. If you go back to the first paragraph, you’ll know why I believe in these three words, “FUCK THAT SHIT”.
As I tip-toed towards discovering myself, exactly like Columbus and Ulysses, and, a lot like “The road not taken”, I figured out why are we, this human race, so crippled and so unapologetic-ally stupid and coward. Let’s make it simple for you. I am sure you have read “All the world’s a stage” by Shakespeare, and, even if you haven’t, it is absolutely alright. The poem tells you that you enter the stage, play your ROLES, and, you exit. Where we have failed is the stress on the S of Roles! By roles, you can think of certain responsibilities that have climbed upon your shoulder , or, you can even call it growing up and behaving your age, its the same thing. I call it Boxes! According to my understanding of life and literature, we humans are too comfortable in the box that we are placed. Mind you, the box isn’t sealed, our minds are. We live a life in a box to be out of the box- that we were placed at and we have made it our home, never trying to have the courage to envision life through the cracks or the window. When we are told that you are a man, you cannot cry, you believe that and place yourself in that box. When you are told that you are an engineer, you believe that and shun away from your passion and desires and fit yourself in the box. When I was told to choose exactly what I want to do and not be everywhere, I chose to do my masters and fit myself in that box where breathing was a challenge. I didn’t want to pursue my masters because I was selected to be a part of the theatre group that had Rajat Kapoor, Ira Dubey and we were to travel different cities for six months. My father did not allow me because I was not following the routine to earn another degree, earn money. Today, as I write this and as you read this and now you exactly know what I am preaching you about, I am glad that I followed the routine and suffocated, I of course regret missing out on that opportunity, but, had I not been in the box, I would have never known the magic of being in the box.
Did anyone ever said to you, “Be in the box”? I have been IN the box. Different boxes. In these last three years, I have imbibed the art of making my own box, whenever I want, however I want. The most filmy dialogue that says, “Ek darwaza bandh hoga toh dusra khulega”. The trick is, there is no door, there are just multiple rooms and you can walk into any room by being a part of the room you are needed to be at the most. I have picked up from the ones I look up to that limiting yourself is the worst thing you can do to yourself. These boxes are not created, you create this, might as well create as many you wish to! I was told to be this, but, I am that, and that, and this! I have my room that I built with words which empower me in the most beautiful way, I live in a box that has colorful walls and canvas that always is thirsty. I also live in a box that makes me meet new people, gets me some money and helps me shape the most demeaning word, Career. But, I also have a box, a huge one, I call that my catharsis. The stage. I live there when I must, unaware, smiling and venting out. All these boxes that I have built, I stay inside of them, failing at my skills, but, living my skills. When I am asked about my career choice, I laugh a little and I tell them, “I don’t have any” and walk away with pride. It is the biggest lie when someone tells you THIS IS IT. Trust me, it never is. A job that makes you happy is because you are involved in it and you live in the box, but, it does not necessarily mean you cannot focus on baking! These boxes are the priorities you calculate and these calculations usher you with happiness. You are never one thing. You are multiple. I call myself an album, shamelessly failing and happy.
As I sit across the table, a little hungry for motivation and attention (all of us are), I look at the person, third in my list who inspires me the MOST, tired of my tantrums and jokes (hard to laugh at), my boss. Shoeb is that one person who reminds me each day to be everything I want to be. When people age a little, they tend to think they have survived a century full of scars because almost all his sessions start with, “If I were to look back, if I had a chance, I would have done that, you should not do that. You will probably ignore because I ignored it too, but, please don’t”. I look at him and I really do see regret in his eyes. Even though he does have boxes, he just has not made multiple, he could have. He is capable of. And, he will. The reason I mentioned him here is because amidst all the hard times I put him through, he never tells me what I must do, in stead, he tells me stories and these stories are his boxes he has built. In stead of telling me a way out, he weaves new passages where I can walk out of the box to create a new. He has let me bring my passion at the table and lets me build space in the box for new things. He makes me believe I can be everything, I am everything. If he ever reads this, he will say, “Damn Rumela, you’re crazy”.
Pop your heads out of the box you have settled in, walk out of the room because there is no door. Settle out in your box(es). In one life have multiple identities. In one life, be the friend you want to be, get that client you want to work with, learn that language, travel to the places that offers you peace, be the shameless bathroom singer, be the poet that also works late, be the mother that focuses on other things, not just her children or husband, attend that world cup and work alongside, be an educationist but don’t stop yourself from being a DJ if you want to be, let your child learn how to dream and let him/her live as many dreams he/she chooses to. Unpack yourself. Its about time.
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dekumidoriyall · 5 years
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I am a wreck man. I liked it better when I could go home and cry alone. But now "home" is ykws place and he sees me cry and I'm over it.
And if I just leave the place to cry he will also notice bc he pays too much attention which I'm not mad at I guess it's better than him not noticing anything at all which would probably make it worse. Like I know my brain would turn that into "wow he doesn't even notice when you're upset he doesn't care at all" which my ex never noticed and that was exactly the case sometimes. But then again if I actually wanted to fake it I could, but I try not to as much bc that only makes me feel worse. I'd rather not fake it, bc one that's more exhausting, and two, my brain would again try to convince me no one notices bc they don't care. And then I have to tell myself , like yeah no shit jazz you're great at faking it. So I try not to fake it with ykw, I just tone it down a bit and then will lie about it. Which is dumb and I'm glad he called me out on it. And I get he shouldn't have to drag it out of me but also I really do feel my own thoughts are sometimes irrational which is why I double layer my thoughts and have to think about them. And then it sucks when I know I'm being sad or upset for a dumb reason and then he wants to ask me about it and it's like I already know I'm dumb for even thinking this but I don't want him to know how dumb I think i am sometimes. At least how dumb my first thoughts can be sometimes. Bc like I said, I'll tell myself hey that's nonsensical. I am rational believe it or not, it's just the second layer which I thank God I'm self aware enough to at least acknowledge when my own thoughts or feelings are being dumb.
But I have been feeling distant lately and I'm sad about that at a surface level, bc I know my language is quality time and v close after that is physical touch. Like I think QT is 11 and PT is 8, and then it goes words of affirmation at 7 and then acts of service at 4 (which is weird bc I actually think this is how I show it most but I don't receive it the same) and then of course receiving gifts at 0 bc y'all know I don't care jack shit at all for things or gifts or stuff.
And it sucks bc I just live there. It's like we've said. We're just friends. So at not just the surface level but at the second level, I get even more upset with myself for being upset in the first place bc it's like c'mon jazz it doesn't matter, y'all don't owe each other anything. Y'all can talk to whomever. Y'all can do whatever tf y'all want. Y'all aren't together. It doesn't really matter. You know me, I'm no good in the middle or with uncertainty. Uncertainty is my Achilles heel.
But idk he hasn't been as cuddly lately, doesn't do the hand to waist thing almost at all anymore. We had sex (which I know is opposite of physically distant) but I dont even know where that came from but I craved the small stuff so much that I was like I'll take this if this is all I can get. I mean don't get me wrong I thoroughly enjoyed it (although some foreplay would've been extra nice) and would ten ten do again but Physical touch isn't necessarily sex. For me it's the cuddling and the hugs and the orbiting and the almost hand holding and when the hand holding does happen it's nice. So it's not necessarily I'll take what I can get more so that I've been feeling a detachment and it was nice to feel wanted I guess. And i think this is what I like to use the most which is why I'm always like running my hands in his hair and beard and probably annoy him with the lack of physical space. But lately I feel I have to initiate all that or have to refrain completely bc I don't want to annoy him or suffocate him and again we aren't together so I shouldn't even be concerned with any of that. But I actually drafted a post about the sex thing but I couldn't even finish it bc I still am actually surprised by it. Like I honestly would've thought it was a dream if it weren't for me being sore. Like it had been months and wow it felt so great. But I literally have no idea where it came from. Literally a day before the boy and I were talking about a sermon about that. And don't get me wrong, I'd probably do it again, but there isn't a container at all right now. We aren't even dating and I can't justify it. Like of course I care about him and I have, ya know, those extra feelings, but as far as I know with him, I'm just a candidate. The "only candidate" as he put it a week or so ago, but who knows.
Again it comes back down to insecurity and uncertainty. But I put myself in this position. I started thinking about maybe I shouldve moved in with Momo but tbh I'd feel even more isolated and uncertain there so I cut that out thank God bc the enemy was really trying hard with that one.
Idk I guess nothing is really wrong it's just me I guess questioning my role in other people's lives. And I pray that I stop, bc at the end of the day it's just me and god and that relationship that matters.
Yeah I think my alignment is off, like pastor Steven furtick said in his contentment commandments sermon, if you feel like you're in a hurry, you're alignment is off. So I just need to refocus on God. Nothing else matters and I know it's easier said than done or even trying to convince me, but it won't stop me from trying.
Idk, I wish I cared less. About everything and everyone. All caring has ever gotten me is getting hurt.
And I don't want to talk about this which is why I'm writing it out. And if he needs to then I will try my best to talk it out and I don't want to not write on here bc I know he reads it, and I also don't want to refrain any of my feelings either bc this is the only way I can get them out. And sometimes I can't talk and be open about them and this is the next best thing. But I do promise to try. I am trying to be more open with him. And I wrote that thing about not being vulnerable with him and i don't want to go backwards. It was one of my intentions going into this year and I'm not gonna let one night that was bad timing ruin that. And honestly being vulnerable and open and honest with someone is very unlike me bc I am always on guard with people even though it doesn't seem it if you actually know me unless you're AJ or Kel who have gotten to know me under the surface bc even my daddy issues™ are open forum and I don't mind talking about that. But there are under the surface vulnerable feelings I've had on that that only few people know. So while it seems that I am open, I actually am always playing defense. Observing people and knowing more than I let on and feeling more than I let on. Idk I don't know if AJ gets the fact that I keep stuff to myself not bc I necessarily don't trust him, but bc the more people know about you the more they can hurt you. And idk aj knows more than Kel at this point when it comes to things that could potentially be used against me. And that's fucking terrifying.
And then always at the back of my head is this is all temporary. At any point he could get tired of me and I'd have to uproot and move again.
And you know what I have been giving him a lot of backstory lately. In the last month or so, since we had that talk about me being open, and since the first open up during Xmas and even before then when we kinda talked when we hot boxed the closet, I've been more open these past few weeks than I have the entirely of our friendship. And I don't get much back. I don't pry ever. It's not like I don't notice things. I just let him be and if he wants to tell me things then he can. Idk maybe he shows he cares by doing the prying and getting me to talk to him and tbh that's a good call bc if he didn't then I probs would spiral into a whole he doesn't care headspace. So I'm not gonna complain. And I hope he doesn't think that I don't care or notice, I just don't mind that he plays defense. Bc I do that with everyone. Well it's not that I don't mind, it's just i understand. But I notice when he gets heavy, and he won't talk to me about it or open up to me until after and even then he just brushes over it.
I don't know I feel like this post is going in circles but the more I write the more stuff is just coming to the forefront and i actually feel better but im not entirely sure any of this is coherent and also i probably misspoke on some things. But I feel better.
Long story short, I'll keep opening up bc it's something I haven't done so maybe it will be the thing that will help. And it's scary and I can't promise him 100 percent but I can promise to try and give more. I just need him to understand that I keep stuff to myself out of defense.
I'm not upset at him for anything even all the distance I've been feeling, it's just I'm sensitive to any slight change in behaviour, just like he is. He thinks he's the only keen one, and I'll give him props he's good, slightly better than me, I just don't speak on it. It doesn't bother me that he doesnt tell me everything. But my mind does go crazy with assumptions when I do notice any changes.
I just want us both to be light again. I think we've both been a bit heavy. I think we're both stressed about things that have nothing to do with each other but does affect our friendship.
We just both are people who get in our own heads. But we deal with it differently, which is okay. This is all a journey, a learning curve. And honestly it wont get better unless we both communicate better. But when neither of us likes to feel vulnerable or show weakness, it's kinda difficult. Especially me. I'm not gonna speak for him. I have to actively be aware of it. Its only 8 days into the yesr so I don't think I'm necessarily failing at choosing joy or opening up, I think it's the fact that I'm doing that is such a radical shift that I'm kinda grinding the gears within myself. So it's just growing pains.
Sorry for the long ass post I just needed a big mind dump and to turn my thoughts around from where they were bc I actually feel like I kinda made some progress within myself.
Anyway the other night was great, both AJ meeting my family and ya know coming back home. So I fully intend to still post that draft I was writing (I really still am in disbelief) bc it was about both those things. Just maybe when I let it sit for a bit longer. Also I kinda still wanna keep it for myself for a bit. I have a lot of thoughts about it. Good and maybe some, not bad, but just tangents I guess. So soon.
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purinsesu-sereniti · 7 years
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Usagi & Relationships.
this is a post that’s been on my mind ALL FREAKING DAY. 
i obviously have A LOT of thoughts and feels on usagi and her various relationships with her senshi so i wanted to condense (lol) and compile them into one general post. because i can. 
so here we go.
please feel free to reblog & add your own thoughts and interpretations! remember, we all perceive things differently, so i’d love to hear other thoughts! you can also drop them in my ask box!! :)
under the cut cause it’s gonna be long.
 Usagi & Ami: this relationship is really special because it was first, usagi’s first comrade as a senshi, and ami’s first real friend. ami is so sweet and quiet and good natured, i feel like they never ever everrrr fight. ami will be quick to put usagi in her place when it comes to things like studies (and in the future, she will be the voice of reason when usagi wants to skip out on her royal duties.) but she will ALWAYS have a soft spot for her. ami can really never be mad at her, no matter what she does or says. they tease each other (esp usagi to ami) and ami will always be there to help usagi along the way, no matter what the situation is. 
Usagi & Rei: these girls together... oh man. these two together are a beautiful friendship that is so many things: its passionate, it’s loving, its a storm. Rei will never let usagi hear the end of something when she’s wrong & most of the time she’s never gonna let her get away with stupid stuff. but sometimes, like she is with minako, rei can’t help but to let her think she is. There’s no one in the world Rei loves more, aside from Minako, but even she falls below Usagi. Rei would die for Usagi at any given moment. They might fight sometimes but they have a bond that is tender and loving and strong. Rei will always put her in her place & keep her grounded. I also firmly believe that Mars was the one Princess Serenity was the closest to during the silver millennium. That bond transcends time and death and brings us to the present, where these two girls were brought back together. usagi would NEVER pick favorites and would NEVER say one of the girls was her best friend, but rei is definitely near the top of her list, if she had one that was. 
Usagi & Makoto: Mako-chan is the motherly type & this is how I see their relationship- Mako-chan is the one to ensure Usagi is NEVER hungry, she’s always warm/dry/comfortable/whatever. Mako is the one Usagi cries to when she’s upset by Rei or Mamoru because Mako always sides with her and pats her on the head and says she’s right. Mako will NEVER SAY NO! Not ever!! Unless it’s in battle and Usagi is trying to be the hero, Mako wont let her put herself into harm necessarily. Mako is the one who when Usagi absently says she’s hungry for something, she bakes it for her. She’s the one that when Usagi wistfully wishes for a pretty dress in a store window, she goes to the store to buy the fabric and sews her one that’s even better than the original.  Mako does everything in her power to ensure Usagi is 10000% happy. 
Usagi & Minako: first of all, these two bang. i’m sorry, i cant explain it, but these two 100000000% hook up. their relationship is not necessarily deeper than friendship, because usagi obviously is in love with mamoru and i’m a hardcore reinako shipper, but i just see these two together AT SOME POINT. In all honesty, i really can see the two of them bringing rei into things too. it happens more than once, maybe a few times a year. anyways. THESE TWO GIRLSSSSS man oh man. i feel like i could even argue they’re closer than usagi & rei are. they understand one another far beyond comrades, far beyond princess and protector. around usagi, minako can be her true self- silly and loving, a natural prankster. together they play pranks on anyone they can (looking at you, rei) they’re regulars at the local karaoke bar, and they drag the others shopping as often as they can. as adults, they’re out on the town together, dressed to the nines and giggling behind their hands every time a boy wants to dance with them. they love to drink and have a good time together. like rei, minako would die for usagi. in truth, she’d die for any one of her friends, but usagi... she’d do anything for usagi, and usagi would do anything for her. their bond is strong and true and wow do i love these two girls so fucking much.
Usagi & Haruka: unless you’re new to my blog, you know i have ALL THE HARUSA FEELS. i love the bond these two share. usagi is the one who makes haruka question EVERYTHING. Usagi is everything to haruka, nothing is more important than her well being. they understand each other- especially usagi. she knows the truth in haruka’s heart, even if haruka always doesnt. their bond is different because their past selves never knew one another- but haruka’s desire to protect her princess transcended time to now, where its stronger than ever before because now she KNOWS her. she loves to see usagi smile & will take her out for spins in her nice cars & lets be real, spoils the shit out of her. if usagi wants it, haruka gets it for her. i can see them actually hooking up as well (polyamorous usagi, ftw) but not nearly as often as usagi and minako do. maybe once. i firmly ship harumichi, obviously, and i cant even say they HOOK UP so much as once in a while they might share a kiss. hook up is the wrong phrase, for sure, i dont think they ever go all the way. but i can see them going out on many “dates’ and share a few kisses down the road. after a certain point, those stop though, and their adult relationship is a bit more mature. when usagi is crowned queen, haruka constantly drops to a knee before her and usagi always tries to get her to stop, but she never will. 
Usagi & Michiru: Michiru is Usagi’s idol, her inspiration to be a real lady someday. Usagi follows Michiru around like a puppy- to fancy parties and classical concerts and plays galore. Michiru lives a lavish lifestyle and Usagi loves being a part of that. She likes to rub elbows with the elite and through Michiru she gets to meet various famous people. michiru is also her favorite person to shop with- michiru has expensive but amazing taste and always helps usagi piece together fantastic outfits. as adults, usagi always wants michiru to plan everything for her: birthdays, parties, ect. as queen, usagi puts michiru in charge of the royal planning too. 
Usagi & Setsuna: these two aren’t as close as usagi is with the rest of the senshi- they have a relationship yes, but it doesn’t go far beyond princess and protector. setsuna cares for usagi obviously, but their relationship just isn’t the same as it is with all of the other girls. however, usagi does love to shop with setsuna because her style is trendy and chic. it’s when usagi is pregnant with chibiusa that their relationship deepens- it is then that setsuna shares stories with usagi of her past, of her mother queen serenity. when chibiusa is born, they become all the closer, spending hours together in the nursery, fawning over the princess they loved so much. 
Usagi & Hotaru: Usagi cares soooo much for hotaru- she always has, since before they ever even knew she was saturn. usagi cares for her like she might a sweet, younger sister. Usagi would take her and chibiusa out to do various things- amusement parks, shopping, ect. she helps remind hotaru to laugh and smile, to not take life quite so seriously. once she’s reborn, her seriousness is not as pronounced as it was before, but she still had her moments. usagi was one of the only people who could always immediately cheer her up, no matter how badly she felt inside. and when it was time for chibiusa to become a senshi in her own right, with her own team, it’s saturn that she instructs to lead her team, like venus had once done for hers. she puts her daughter’s life into hotaru’s hands because she knows she will always protect her, just as her senshi had always protected her. 
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kpsoa97xs-blog · 5 years
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How can I succesfully start a work from home in insurance sales?
How can I succesfully start a work from home in insurance sales?
I currently am licensed to sell personal lines insurance but I would like to start selling online at home....are there any good websites to learn more? or have any advice for successfully starting this on my own from home?
BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare free quotes :insurecostfinder.xyz
SOURCES:
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Wonder Woman: Dont' Put Swords Down Dresses - TWB
Save Streaming Data Is Wonder Woman as much a triumph for women within the Hollywood industry is it just a much-needed victory for Warner Bros. and the DCEU universe? Unlike the movies from its cinematic predecessors, Wonder Woman opened the weekend to prescreening praise and that highly sought after Rotten Tomatoes score. With so much animosity over the validity of critics these days and the effect they have on a film's opening at the box office, one can indeed argue that good word of mouth can and will influence how a film is received by potential ticket buyers. Failures of titles like Suicide Squad and Batman v Superman placed a stigma on all future releases within this franchise, but is it fair to judge one movie based on the success of a franchise? As much bad wrap as those films received, they have a good return on investment, and isn't that ultimately consider a success? As the word of the critic word really that important, and if so are sites like Rotten Tomatoes inadvertently controlling the industry by proxy?  
Before She Was Wonder Woman, She Was Diana
I found myself at odds with wanting to like this movie as much as everyone else LOVED this movie. I mean, it got a 94% percent on Rotten Tomatoes so I should like it right… right? That’s the odd nature of criticism and human behavior. It’s our nature to not want to be at odds with the masses-- to just accept whatever is popular instead of forming our own opinion or being truthful to our own opinion. A movie gets a horrible rating and automatically it's cemented in your mind that the aforementioned movie is a film you would rather not spend money to go and see. Access to such information has taken the risk out of watching movies. Whether you hate or love a movie, isn’t it more of the experience we seek to obtain? Or is it that we would rather save our money than take a chance on a film that may disappoint us? I was excited by the idea that Wonder Woman would be the best movie of the summer — even better than Guardians of the Galaxy Volume 2. That last scene in B vs V left me wanting more of the Amazonian warrior who faced off with Doomsday as Superman moped and Batman hid. However, it just didn’t rock my world as it apparently rocked for other people. All those positive reviews and movie was just okay. Sorry, status quo. When asked, “So what did you think?” I bit my tongue a little, I admit. Why? Because I believed my feelings towards this movie were maybe too subjective to really debate whether or not this iteration of Wonder Woman met my criteria as the Wonder Woman film I wanted to watch. Bre, a contributor to If three by space and friend, shared the same sentiment. Finally!, Someone else who thought the movie was meh. I’m usually very candid about my reactions towards a film, never really holding my tongue. I even waited to hear Bre's reaction before I could truthfully respond to her about whether I liked the movie. To my surprise, she too did not share in the hoopla that is Wonder Woman Praise Mania. Instead of disseminating my negative thoughts onto you. I wanted to understand why it is that I did not share the same sentiment about this take on the iconic 1/3 of the Superhero Trinity. Wonder Woman isn’t exactly an innovative film, especially within this overly saturated market of comic book inspired movies. Sure, it’s the first movie helmed by a female director featuring a female comic book character to gross over $100 million dollars. The accomplishment should be heralded as much as celebrated by every director and actor in the industry. However, we can’t focus on the success of this film as a solitary achievement that will change the nature of the film culture. The truth remains that this is just one film about a superhero that took many years to make primarily because studios didn’t want to take a risk. Only after her appearance in B vs S were they finally convinced that they could make money off of this character. Within the current narrative of the DC Universe movie, a stand-alone Wonder Woman film is just a life preserver floating atop an empty ocean. It doesn’t fit within the current narrative which began with Superman and continued into B vs S and should have just gone on with The Justice League. Opposite of Marvel, they would have to introduce the character after the debut of the ensemble team. However, WW was riding a wave of excitement and it was a smart business move to make a standalone film now instead of later when the fervor subsides. So, stop with the praise that this is a home run for female artists in the film industry. The numbers say it all and as of 2016, women comprised just 7 percent of all directors working on the top 250 domestic grossing films. Wonder Woman was poised to do well at the box office. Maybe not 100 million opening well but as with all the movies before it, Jenkins would have eventually obtained this title of a person who made a movie for a studio that grossed a lot of money. Consider the Fate of the Furious as a perfect example: There was this brief celebration of F. Gary Gray becoming the first black $1billion director. Kudos goes to the work he put in to make the film what it became but his efforts weren’t all that pushed this film to its incumbent success. The Furious franchise is eight films in and continues to perform no matter who is in the director's chair. Wonder Woman will eventually make a bazillion dollars but let’s not focus on solely on numbers, that’s studio mumbo jumbo, but rather the time and effort and vision of Patty Jenkins who never directed an action movie and her muse Gal Gadot who had some big red boots to fill; they deserve more respect for their efforts than an entrance into the all boys 100 million dollar club. Much of what other people liked about the movie or continue to blab on about, I did not particularly find impressive enough to consider an indifference to mainstream movie fandom. And as I tried to reason with myself about the supposed greatness of this film, I realized that it was all haberdashery; dressing up my opinion of the film to appeal to the overall consensus.
Wonder Woman: The Good, The Bad, The Cheesy
Wonder Woman wasn’t that great of a movie, however, I was interested in why I do not hold the same opinions as others. So, I read a few reviews and talked with a few people who also watched the movie and pulled from those resources and conversations good and bad aspects of the film that might help me form a different opinion of Wonder Woman on a second viewing. I am a firm believer that it takes more than one viewing to fully appreciate a film and with that, I am willing to sway my own opinion based on further insight into why people like this movie so much. Here, I debate a view arguments and positives about the film that struck as the more important conversational starters. DC Enters the Light Yes, Wonder Woman had endearing flirtatiousness with her naiveté fish out of water story beat. The scene on the boat with her and Trevor talking about sex was kinda funny until you listen to the dialog and realize Trevor the gentleman is really just a horny man dog. I didn’t necessarily need them to showcase their sexual attraction so openly. Diana had a mission and her mission was to destroy Ares. This flirty school girl/ guy routine was only a way to exploit Diana’s innocence for a joke. There was this wardrobe changing scene that was funny and more along the joke spectrum I consider effective enough to represent Diana’s adverse emersion into regular society. Using common stereotypes and customs that defined women during the 1930’s and 1940’s (and today) was a fun way to show not only Diana’s ignorance but strongly rooted Amazonian female roots and female empowerment. Female Empowerment Gadot handled herself quite impressively in the scenes where the omnipresence of men conflicted with her beliefs, and it was those vulnerable moments that identified with Diana’s key character trait; empathy. Diana Meet Steve: The Cheesy Rom-Com Y’know what’s sexier than a sex scene? Not having a sex scene. I mean c’mon, Diana just met Trevor and sure, in the heat of battle things can get a little hot and heavy but why does it have to end with her beckoning Trevor with a longing gaze as he closes the bedroom door. I would think any woman involved with this script would be like: "What? No… eww/" But I guess when the director renounces cheesy as a word, you get a scene like that. It’s like when Kevin and Winnie’s first kiss, and yes this is a Wonder Years analogy but it applies to all romantic comedies where two people in love want to be together but extenuating circumstances keep them apart. Ex. Felicity and Scott Speedman, Diane and Sam, Buffy and Angel. With all those examples, those couples had to endure many setbacks before they became a couple. The kiss between Winnie and Kevin only happens after Winnie disses him over and over again. The longing builds up the tension for the final moment or season ending episode when Kevin finds Winnie in a clearing sitting on a rock gazing off into nowhere. He drapes his jacket over Winne’s shoulders and holds her close with one arm around her shoulders. Slowly she’s drawn to him and their lips meet for that first kiss as When a Man Loves a Woman plays over the soundtrack. Picture the final moment of Wonder Woman with such a longing looming over Diana and Steve. One kiss and boom that’s all the sex those two needed — their relationship would transcend into something more, and that’s love, that’s a great scene. [x_blockquote cite="Rick, Casablanca 1942" type="center"]Here’s looking at you kid. [/x_blockquote] It’s not that the supposed sex scene in Wonder Woman was cheesy, it just wasn’t necessary. Empathy and strength in the presence of adversity. The Origin Story Mashup: What works best towards the Wonder Woman narrative is all about how much you know.
Diana is a princess, check.
She was molded from clay, check.
Zeus is her father, check.
Trevor crashes onto the island of Thermasyoiuoiu, check.
Diana fights in disguise to win an opportunity to join Trevor on a mission to the US, not checked.
Diana loves Trevor, check.
Wonder Woman didn’t come to save mankind, Diana was in love. The hero thing came after and the movie attempts to mold these ideas together to sculpt an imperfect god-like figure who could as easily destroy man and succumb to him just the same. George Perez created the Ares narrative in the first issue of the 1986 reboot of the series in which Wonder Woman doesn’t leave the island to chase after Steve Trevor but she leaves to fight Ares. As with all comic book movies, they usually pick and choose which storylines work the best for their project then find a way to tell a version of a story that appeals to the premise of selling tickets. Henceforth, why the plots of X-men, Suicide Squad, Spider-man 3, fail to work as a fully developed story ideas. Writers are usually asked to put too much into a two-hour movie and when doing so they add too much or leaving out a very crucial parts to a storyline that spanned my ten to twenty issues. No Man’s Land Arguably the best scene in the movie almost did not make it into the film. Here’s Patty Jenkins: It’s my favorite scene in the movie and it’s the most important scene in the movie. It’s also the scene that made the least sense to other people going in, which is why it’s a wonderful victory for me. I think that in superhero movies, they fight other people, they fight villains. So when I started to really hunker in on the significance of No Man’s Land, there were a couple people who were deeply confused, wondering, like, ‘Well, what is she going to do? How many bullets can she fight?’ And I kept saying, ‘It’s not about that. This is a different scene than that. This is a scene about her becoming Wonder Woman.’ I agree with her every word. When thinking subjectively about why something does or does not work we tend to not take into consideration the art of creating a moment like this. It’s not about how much sense it makes -- we all know there was no mystic Amazon warrior fighting battles in WWI. The No Man’s Land scene was more about the atrocities of war and sanctimony of battle. Diana would conquer the unconquerable, a stretch of land littered with hundreds of dead soldiers for the morally good, and not just to kill an enemy but to save the people. This particular fight was bigger than even Ares himself as in that moment Diana wore her heart outside of her chest fighting for the greater good and not the purpose of war.
[x_feature_headline type="left" level="h1" looks_like="h1" icon="cutlery"]Scoop Du Jour[/x_feature_headline] 
One of the better stories about Wonder Woman stems from the origins of the comic book character and her creator Dr. William H. Marston. Jill Lepore, the author of the book The Secret History of Wonder Woman wrote an article for The Smithsonian which describes the scandalous beginnings of Wonder Woman and DC Comics. Marston was a jack of all trades, a psychologist, scientist, and lawyer who started his work with DC Comics in 1941. As a move to help curtail the onslaught of criticism from the media and watchdog groups, Maxwell Charles Gaines creator of DC Comics, took to an idea from Marston to create a female character who among the likes of Superman and Batman would help to soften the violence and sexual nature of the current pulp comic narrative. Little did Gaines know that Wonder Woman would bring him more attention than he so desired. The debut of the Diana from the mystic Amazonian Paradise Island was immediately met with overall disdain. The number one complaint: They didn’t like the way she was dressed. Too much skin, they shouted as they burned images of Wonder Woman clothed in nothing but a tight red top, underwear, a lasso, and boots. Burn the witch! Okay, it’s wasn’t that dramatic but isn’t the same type of anger expressed whenever a woman come outs against the status quo? Past the cover and onto page one clothing just the tip of the anger-berg. Images of bondage and not-so-subtle feminist messaging throughout the comic caused for a plea that the comic be remove from the shelves and restricted from children! Such vile content would warp the minds of the adolescence and cause them to commit horrible acts of debauchery in the future. Luckily Gaines, a physiologist, could defend Wonder Woman in reality as she defended herself on the page, but it was not easy. In this article, Lepore touches upon Marston and his relationship with his wife Elizabeth Holloway, and live in love affair, Olive Byrne. Their love story had nothing to do with Wonder Woman per say. The trio would manage to keep their polyamorous living situation a secret going so far as to introduce Byrne as a widowed cousin who needed a place to stay.  Labels and stereotypes are used to keep people shackled to an idea of conformity, so instead of wearing a ring, Olive Byrne wore two bracelets. Marston, Byrne, and Holloway all had ties to the feminist Suffrage movement and when you consider this history, Wonder Woman the character — her meaning— takes a different shape as she may have been a character birthed from idea but she molded into a model of female empowerment that exemplifies struggle, strength, and overall empathy towards mankind. If you watched the movie, and happen to see the trailer, Professor M; that is this story made into film starring Luke Evans. Check it out. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tv-GrUKgRGk
This, That, and Other News
Teens rescued after spending three days in the catacombs beneath France. Sounds like a movie right? As Above, So Below is a found footage movie released back in 2014 about a couple of cataphiles who get lost in the maze that of the freaky underground tombs of Paris, France. http://www.cnn.com/2017/06/15/europe/paris-catacombs-rescue/?iid=ob_lockedrail_bottommedium Weekly Flavor Text: “Great girdle of Aphrodite!” she cries at one point. “Am I tired of being tied up!” Links: Better yet, by the book. https://www.amazon.com/The-Secret-History-Wonder-Woman/dp/0385354045/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=1592408702&linkCode=as2&tag=smithsonianco-20&linkId=K2QLHC6725SQQ3QO Read more: http://www.smithsonianmag.com/arts-culture/origin-story-wonder-woman-180952710/#5ohitvsa3uyQAlIG.99 https://filmschoolrejects.com/wonder-woman-review/ https://filmschoolrejects.com/wonder-woman-champion-empathy/ https://www.wired.com/2017/06/wonder-woman-origin-story/ http://io9.gizmodo.com/the-wonder-woman-movie-understands-why-superheroes-exis-1795826527 http://www.rollingstone.com/movies/news/how-wonder-woman-tackles-superhero-movies-greatest-foe-sexism-w485184 http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/heat-vision/wonder-woman-is-a-milestone-but-shouldnt-be-1010023  
Talking With Burritos Presents A New Episode!
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