#and i feel like i havent experienced that joy in a long time

[write-tama]

"hank.. what am i feeling right now?"

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ connor anderson (4k800) x officer!reader

sypnosis ; connor is very interested in an officer who just joined the police force. after being told the news that they would be joining the team, connor just had to make an acquaintance with them. anything to hear their voice.

containing ; use of you/yours and they/them pronouns! connor struggling to process emotions. hank being a proud father.

author’s note ; hihi! havent written for connor in SO long so i thought this was a cute little way of them meeting each other. connor is a

04.12.24 | 1.9k words

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈

Everyone knew about the infamous 4k800.

The last most developed and intelligent android produced by Cyberlife.

A machine built to hunt its prey and to always accomplish his mission.

But now?

A confused man sitting at his desk, elbows on the surface as he ran the fourth diagnostic this morning.

Connor was never really taught how to feel his emotions, considering that he was forced to compress them from the moment he was made. If he were to feel any sort of emotion, it was either to the scrap factory for him or a hard lecture from Amanda.

But Amanda was gone, and androids were free to express any emotion they pleased.

It’s been weeks since Markus hit the headlines for his famous android revolution. He worked with the government extensively to pass bills in order to settle android rights for the country. Connor, on the other hand, continued to work with the DPD as a full-on detective under the supervision of Liutenant Hank Anderson. Hank was more than just a coworker, but a father figure to Connor. And that brought Connor joy, an emotion Connor was well aquainted of.

But not the feeling he was experiencing now.

Connor couldn’t get his mind off a certain someone who had joined the team a bit before the revolution. You had joined a week prior, and honestly, you were kind of regretting it. As android and human tensions rose, you were on duty 24/7. Originally, you were supposed to start easy with basic patrol around a part of a city, but because you were so impatient in doing the “big kid stuff” you found yourself frequently in the middle of the android and human discourse. Your shifts nearly lasted twelve hours, and you would be absolutely exhausted.

Things are different now. Sure, there were still some situations between the two sides, but it was definitely peace compared to literal boycotts. You sat at your desk idly scrolling through your past cases, making sure that all the information was correct and accurate. On the other side of your desk was a tablet full of notes you had taken after some cases you had to deal with. What you didn’t notice was the android detective constantly glancing at you, watching your every move to see if maybe, at some point, you would notice him.

A loud groan echoing from the desk in front of Connor made him jump, immediately turning his attention to his lieutenant taking a seat in his chair. “Fucking hell..” Hank sighed. “Fowler does nothing but my bust my balls these days, huh?” Connor stared at his partner with his hands folded in his lap and eyebrows furrowed.

“Is everything okay, Lieutenant?” Connor asked, tilting his head.

“It’s nothing too serious. Fowler just wants me to take the rookie on our next homicide case. He insisted that they would be a perfect addition to the team or whatever.” Hank groaned. “Now I’m responsible for two of you fucks.”

Connor, admittedly, felt his thirium pump racing. You? As part of the team? It was almost like he could overheat and shutdown momentarily right now. “I think they would be a great addition to the team.” Connor stated, biting back from smiling. “They have an excellent track record of solving cases in an orderly and timely manner, has caught every perpretrator with their undercover skills, and had a reputation back in their training classes as one of the top students.” He explained. Hank looked over as he was slouched in his seat with arms folded across his chest.

“Jesus, Connor, you sound like some creep searching up their name on Google.” Hank scoffed, half smiling. Though this caught Connor a little off— was he being creepy? He didn’t want to leave a bad impression on you, especially now that you're about to meet for the first time. His face scrunched up in anxiety, feeling as if he made a mistake. Hank immediately took notice and sat up. “Ah— I was just joking, Connor. I’m sure you have uh.. Good intentions.” Hank reassured, though he never said he was exactly good at it.

Hank looked over to you, seeing that you were preoccupied with work despite the fact you haven’t been on a case in a few days now. Hank looked at Connor. “Well.. Why don’t you introduce yourself to them.” Hank suggested, nodding his head over to you.

Connor immediately jolted his head up, a little wide-eyed to even suggest such. “O-Of course.” Connor stuttered out. Connor never stuttered, and though Hank was in a mood after his exchange with Fowler, he certainly didn’t leave that unnoticed.

“Did you just stutter?” Hank asked, a little amused. “Are you.. Nervous?”

“Of course not, Lieutenant,” Connor replied as steadily as possible. “I am an android.”

“Connor.”

“Yes?” Connor replied, mindlessly.

“You’re a deviant, for fucks sake.”

“Oh.”

Connor, to avoid anymore embarassment from the man he deemed his father figure, swiftly got up and started to approach you. Hank watched in pure amusement, not even wanting to stop the boy from probably embarassing himself even further, but at least Hank had some faith in him. He is Detroit’s best god damn detective.

“Hello, Officer (l/n). My name is Connor. It is nice to meet you.” Connor said, putting his hand out for a shake. You looked up from your computer screen only to be met with the most chocolate eyes you’ve ever had the privilege of being in the prescence of. He smiled politely, but behind that smile he thanked Elijah that androids could not sweat, otherwise you would’ve felt the claminess of his palm.

You took his hand and shook it firmly. “A pleasure to make your aquaintance. My name is (y/n).” You smiled generously, and wow, did Connor felt like his pump couldn’t get any faster.. He cleared his throat before darting his eyes to the unoccupied chair that sat next to your desk.

“May I?” Connor asked, gesturing towards the seat.

“Of course, I’m not doing much anyway.” You nodded. Connor took a seat, and for some reason, he struggled to even maintain his balance as he sat himself down. He nearly had to think about how to fold his hands before placing them firmly on his laps and looking at you. Thankfully, you barely realized any sort of struggle as you looked away to take a swig of your morning coffee.

“So..” you said, clasping your hands. “Am I in trouble or anything?” you joked. Connor immediately shot his head up, worried he had made the wrong impression.

“Oh, no— I—” Before Connor could sputter out an explanation, you tilted your head a little and started laughing.

“Relax! I was just kidding!” You playfully waved off. Connor’s shoulders immediately relaxed as a breath he didn’t even know he was holding back escaped his lips. You looked at him curiously, a smile still resting on your face.

“I’m sorry. Usually, I am not like this.” He said, shaking his head a little in embarassment. He was always on his A game and constantly prepared. Why were you the reason for this disruption. “I.. Uh..” He couldn’t think of anymore to say. Suddenly, he got a message through his LED.

Connor blinked a bit, registering the text message. Hank was at a perfect view watching this unfold. The back of your head was visible but he could see all of Connor’s reactions, who desperately tried to maintain a polite smile.

NEW MESSAGE:

HANK: tell them u think theyre pretty.

“I think you’re very pretty, (y/n).” Connor complimented.

“Oh— ah—” A subtle blush began to form on your cheeks as your eyes widen a little, not expecting a compliment from a handsome android such as Connor. “Why thank you, Connor. I wasn’t expecting that as our first conversation.” You chuckled a little. “You’re not too bad yourself.”

Thirium was rushing through his circuits and to his cheeks. The faintest color of blue appeared dusted on his face. “Thank you.” He maintained a calm, neutral voice. They stared at each other for a minute, sort of registering the sort of corny first conversation the two of you had.

“Ah.. I almost forgot to mention.” Connor snapped back to reality. “I came here to introduce myself sfter I heard that you were joining our team on our next investigation. It’s good to make an aquaintance with our future team member.” Connor smiled politely.

“Why thank you. I am very excited to work with you and Lieutenant Anderson.” You nodded. “Though I will miss working with Gavin and Chris’ team.”

Ah, that’s right. You used to work with Gavin. It almost left a bad taste in Connor’s mouth knowing that Gavin probably spat some awful opinions about him to you. Though from the looks of it, you were enjoying your conversation with him which eased him.

“I promise we will a provide a welcoming and safe space in our team, and of course, to make sure you don’t come into harms way.” Connor assured. Though he was mainly promising this to you personally. God forbids Connor seeing you get hurt.

“Why thank you, Connor.” You said, tilting your head. Connor was rather intriguing to you— an android acting this way around you. His LED constantly switched between yellow and blue as if he was making sure to process every word you uttered. Yet he was so human— he would scratch the back of his neck, fidget with his fingers, and shuffle a bit in his seat. You would think someone as advanced as him would at least be able to have a composure, but he was different. It was something you admired about him.

“(l/n), in my office!” Captain Fowler called from the balcony of his room. You looked over to Connor before sighing.

“Well, boss is calling me. I’ll talk to you afterwards?” You suggested as you stood from your seat.

“Of course.” Connor replied, shielding his excitement. He stood up from his chair as well. “I’d be happy to talk again, (y/n).”

“Likewise.” You winked. With that, you left your desk and headed straight to Fowler’s office. Connor stood shellshocked. Did you just.. Wink at him?! Connor’s eyes slowly drifted to Hank, who was chuckling heartily. He gave Connor an assuring thumbs up as Connor made his way back to their desks.

“You’d be a shit detective if this is how you acted all the time.” Hank snickered. Connor grinned a little before taking a seat back at his desk.

“I know.” Connor sighed, leaning a little back in his chair. He at you through the glass walls, noticing your upright posture and the way you listened intently to Captain Fowler’s words. He looked over to Hank before thinning his lips.

“Lieutenant?” Connor asked.

“What is it, son?”

“What am I.. Feeling right now?” Connor asked, a little lost on how to explain it. “I can only think about them— only envision them when I close my eyes. I get nervous and its like my programming has reduced to 0s and 1s.” He sighed, hell, even a little frustrated that you had this affect on him.

Hank with a wide smile, shook his head and looked at Connor with a knowing stare. Connor looked up, both lost while desperate for an answer and maybe even a cure. Hank sat up and made sure to look at Connor right in the yes.

“Connor,” Hank sighed, grinning. “Son, that feeling your experiencing is called love. And your plastic ass better get used to it.”

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈

thank you so much for reading towards the end ! im sorry if its a little messy-- i quickly had to post this before hanging out w some friends but i just wanted to get this out of the way rq! reblogs, replies, and even likes are so so appreciated <3

#detroit become human #connor detroit become human #connor x reader #connor x you #connor rk800 #connor dbh x reader #dbh connor #dbh rk800 #rk800 x reader #dbh #detroit become human fanfics #hank anderson #connor anderson #4k800 #connor 4k800 x reader #dbh 4k800 #4k800 x reader

[lareinadelplata]

7, 16, 19, 23, 26, 32

oof vin thank you so much <3333333 mwah

7. What is your deepest joy about writing?

finding the perfect word or turn of phrase. i love editing i think more than "writing" itself (i dont see them as necessarily different processes), nothing excites me as much as writing and rewriting a passage until i read it and think Yes I Really Pulled This Off, maybe even "damn did EYE write this?". i love words and am eternally fascinated by how they mix and match and create image and sound and emotion.

16. What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever used as a bookmark?

honestly since theres always some paper lying around i havent had to resort to many weird things but i did once have to momentarily use things like knives or uh a package of sliced ham. hehe.

19. Tell me a story about your writing journey. When did you start? Why did you start? Were there bumps along the way? Where are you now and where are you going?

i started writing as a small child, my parents made me love books from very young, everyone in my family would take turns reading to me 😭 i have very fond childhood memories of that. when i was very small before i knew how to write i would tell my grampa stories and dreams and hed write them down for me. then when i was a bit older i would make little booklets with mostly spy stories which was what i loved lmao. And then when i was around 10 i began drafting novels (and not finishing them)... HAVE i ever finished something longer than a short story. well no. thanks for asking. those are the bumps along the way i am more or less a slow writer and that means i end up getting really frustrated with long projects. ive been writing lh spn au for like 8 years now (DON'T TALK TO ME). i participate in various writing events to try and fight that lol. i dont know if this answers the question. maybe.

23. Describe the physical environment in which you write. Be as detailed as possible. Tell me what’s around you as you work. Paint me a picture.

I don't have A Place in which i write but! for the sake of giving an answer. The room is big but untidy, books, paper, folded lawn chairs, a big collection of backpacks filled to the brim with paper. The computer is at the corner, between the foot of the bed and the window, and the window is open, and through the open window the cool night air flows. A cup of coffee on the black desk, to the left, a blunt to the right, no ashtray. The computer is a lot higher than the chair, so I sit with my legs under me so I can see the screen.

26. How do you get into your character’s head? How do you get out? Do you ever regret going in there in the first place?

I'm a method actor when it comes to writing 😭 i think about the situation i focus on the feelings i try and relate to those same feelings in different ways, i experience them almost physically and then i try my best to put that physical emotion to the page. I'm not very cerebral when it comes to it, unlike with other things? I don't really regret it, i like experiencing a wide range of things even if those things are unseemly, i find great satisfaction in exploring those states of mind. cathartic!

32. What is a line from a poem/novel/fanfic etc that you return to from time and time again? How did you find it? What does it mean to you?

I assume this means from someone else's writing. This line from Los días de la sombra is literally always on my mind. Death is a kindness, i suppose.

#thank you!!!!!!! #i loved answering these 🥺 #rochu writes! #ask #zombiesun

[creaturebehavior]

i have several gifts and blessings in my life that others don’t have

i wish so deeply to somehow overcome my inner turmoil so that i can be present for the beauty and simplicity of my life

i have been given experiences and strengths that a lot of people only ever dream of experiencing or having

what’s so insane about life is i have also experienced a lot of horrifying things that the average person couldn’t even fathom unless they saw it in person with their own eyes and experienced it themselves. and so have all of my family members. we’ve experienced horrific, life-shattering events apart and together. and fucked each other up more cuz we were fucked up.

God really gave me BPD and made my life experiences so black and white at the same time. it’s difficult to reflect on my life and find any grey area, except for the areas like my dad and my step mom always breaking up and constantly getting back together cuz i could never decipher a set relationship status there so i could never make it black or white, even the two times they married and divorced each other. (not counting the first time they got engaged but then didn’t get married) and the other grey areas are my addiction & recovery & sobriety cuz wtf is happening there, i can never quite put my finger on if i wanna be sober or not, and i never stay sober for that long so what’s anything anyway.

other than that i find my experiences in life to be very polarizing, and whether that’s just my perspective because i have BPD, or if i developed bpd because of these polarizing experiences i don’t know……

i often forget that i’ve experienced some of the most beautiful and incredible things life has to offer us because i am so distracted by the trauma i havent fully processed, in conjunction with the personality disorder which honestly i also haven’t fully processed getting diagnosed with.

i hope i can get my head above water before more bad experiences pile on. i want to be more in touch with the joy i could be feeling

#processing

[endthedrugwarnowdotorg]

i wish i was kidding when i say that i am terrified to be in this world without you there is nothing ok about my existence you are such a perfectly strange not at all typical human & i am so lucky to have you to have had you all to myself all this time i want nothing more than to get back into our lil piece of heaven where we were the only people that meant anything to each other i would trade all the things that i do not possess to get back there & there is no reason that we should be unhappy neither of us deserve anything less than pure joy & thats the kind of thing that you have to stand up for your right to have in this world but you do deserve it & youve already done more than enough to warrent it did you know that? Did you know that you are one of the most deserving humans of happiness? you have always brought me happiness you have always made my life a magical experience & i know you have all these plans & i will never again try to stop you from executing those plans Im sorry i thought you were someone you were not please dont ever let me describe you into a corner i have never had anything but good things to say about you especially not to those who count & it doesnt matter this whole world means nothing to me without you there is no beauty no magic no exhileration because you are not here to assure me that im where im supposed to be i have never been someone who thought that i belonged until i met you im sorry if i took you for granted i will never again do that please tell me that you will try to find me because i am weak & scared & totally prime to fall into the cracks & i will never be happy again without you i know you feel the same way i know that you might not beleive you deserve all the goodness in the world but you do & you dont need to think about fair or whats good for other people you just need to be back in my gaze & i will help you with all the legal crap & with anything you need help with everything falls into place when were apart imaginewhat it would be like, with our newfoundstregth when we are together again this is genuniely something i cannot send you over the internet or over a psychic connection i cannot think straight because i havent been expressing my thoughts to you in so long everything is gone the rvs all those scary things i think i imagined all those beautiful memories that i need to not be as real as they feel right now all of that is so beautiful & im so grateful for every moment but its nothing compared to what we could be experiencing together i dont know what stopped us or what seperated us i cannot even remember all i know is that i want you back and i dont want to not remember any of it but i need to have more you in my life i cant breathe im losing it i have held it together for so long its starting to become a serious issue god, please send me a sign some path way to lead me back my love. all these suggestions due to my stupidity, my bad carl, have really got me lost i cant imagine that cody is doing that well without me but i have to hope that he is ok because everyday that passes makes me more terrified of how he is hes always ok but hes never been away from me in his entire memory do you think hes ok? i cant imagine that i have anything else i should do other than try to get back to the house again tomorrowits just so fucking cold ill just have to hope that he is somewhere with someone that can bring him to me

[uwooyoungs]

//

#tomorrow's my birthday and so far its already the best birthday ive had in years #yesterday my coworkers gave me a card and flowers and fresh farm eggs and starbucks #and i made plans to go for dinner w/ a coworker #then today in our weekly round up/check in? kinda #idk not important #weekly meeting w/ our staff and our students #they announced my birthday and suddenly instead of just some congratulations the whole zoom room started singing happy burthday ahfjjs #it was chaotic but like. really kinda touching #and then just a little bit ago one of the students called bc he's been having tech issues im trying to help him with #and towards the end he was like 'i told my mom it's your birthday do u want us to play the song on piano?' #and i was like 🥺 okay 🥺 #and so he and his mom played and it just felt so joyful and sincere and his mom was wishing me a happy birthday so kindly #like kinda grandmotherly ykno #and its just like.... i feel very celebrated ig #like ppl actually care abt my birthday and are excited for me #and i feel like i havent experienced that joy in a long time #sorry to be sappy on main but its juts. wild i dont really look forward to my birthday bc its always disappointing #if not downright depressing #but this year im feeling so much soncerity and support and care from the people around me and like. i. feel valued??? #its like a fuckin foreign concept im have value?????

[domthedevil]

okay so yk how a lot of people theorize that the brothers feel when others are feeling their sin? here's what i thought asmo feels when (afab)mc is horny and when they can't finish because they don't know how to so asmo kinda soft doms them and teaches them by touching them in all the right places until finally they cum properly. i'll just go back to horny jail-

This makes me want to do JOIs for the brothers. Talk each of them through an orgasm with some good ol dirty talk. 🤤

I also love this because sometimes we don’t know our bodies. And a patient and loving sexual partner can help you discover those things. Asmo is the perfect example of of an experienced but patient and understanding lover. (Best Boy Asmo is Best Boy)

Let ME Help You, MC

Warnings: Asmo x MC, masturbation, female anatomy, squirting

Asmo could feel it. Even during the dead of night. Someone was indulging in his sin. Something he could never ignore. And seeing how half of the pacts he had with humans was just down the hall, he let his curiosity get the best of him.

Sneaking down the hall, he followed the sweet aroma emitting from your room. You poor thing. Still suffering these moments alone. Asmo wished he could just come in, and show you how good his touch would be. But for now he pressed his ear to the door. Hoping your sweet voice would be loud enough for him to hear.

And thank Diavolo it was.

Your fingers were slowly circling your clit. Letting small waves of pleasure wash over you. Building that pleasant heat you loved. Thoughts of being eaten out, of being fingered, and pounded into made everything build quickly. The breathy moans you let slip made you embarrassed. Even alone it felt a little shameful masturbating like this. But you wanted to orgasm so badly. It’d been too long.

And having to see him everyday made it worse. You wanted so badly to kiss, to touch, to love and it drove you insane with desire. The sexual frustration was unbearable. But you couldn’t get yourself to come alone...

Hearing your lovely moans end, Asmo came back down from his own arousal. He was sure you hadn’t finished. The lust he felt from your room still hung heavy in the air. Maybe you needed a little help...

“MC? Are you awake?” Asmo’s coy voice made it through your heavy door.

Flustered from not being able to come and now having a sudden visitor, you looked for the underwear you carelessly through to the side.

“U-Uum! H-hold on.”

But he went ahead and walked in, already knowing you were going to hide. Your discomposed state made him stop in his tracks. He’d never seen you so erotic and honestly tasty. Desperately trying to cover yourself, you threw your blanket over your legs.

“I though you could use some help. Think you’d like that?” Asmo placed a knee next to you on the mattress. Of course he was going to wait for a full invitation before getting in bed with you.

“I-I don’t know what you mean...” he probably knew everything but you still tried to hide it.

“Well let me show you.”

Slipping behind you beneath the blankets, Asmo held your bare waist as he leaned you against his chest. A soft kiss grazing your ear made he warm all over. Maybe because you were already riled up, or maybe the master of lust had a magic touch after all.

Slowly Asmo’s hands slipped up your shirt, almost too lightly, he teased your erect nipples.

“You have to start slower...” his whisper was hot in your ear. “Make sure you explore your whole body.”

Your quiet moans made his heart pound. You were soft in all the right places. Your body deserves to be explored. To be treasured. To be pleased.

Asmo’s hands were soft, even when he began to pinch and pull at your peaks, you noticed how it rubbed your skin. Soon though, his hands left you to guide your own. Your surprised expression made Asmo giggle. Using your own fingers, he made you trace your already sensitive clit again.

“Do you feel a difference, love? See how much better that feels?”

“Y-yes. A-Asmo...” Your shaking voice was too cute to him.

Taking your other hand, he pressed two of your fingers inside you. It’s was a familiar touch, helping you relax slightly. But having him guide your hands made it so much more exciting.

“I’m getting...hotter.” With Asmo’s guidance you felt the tip of your fingers hit a sensitive spot inside you. “A-ah! That’s-!”

“Oh? Did you feel something really good?” His coy voice huffed in your ear.

“A spot I can’t...can’t reach...” between sweet moans and ragged breaths you began bucking your hips against your fingers.

“Now, now MC. Don’t rob me of the chance to help you. Let me use my fingers.”

Trading your fingers for his, you could feel the difference immediately. Those same soft fingers naturally found the very spot you had just found. Holding your hips down with his free hand, his other had began moving in and out of you roughly. Rougher than you could do alone. And each thrusting of his fingers made you hotter and hotter inside.

“A-Asmo. I feel like I’m close.”

“Already? You must really want it. You’ve been wanting to come for a long time now, havent you?”

You nodded, eyes closed and lips slightly parted. He whispered little teases and praises as your hips jerked again. It only took a few more moments before you felt it run through you. An electric like feeling through you whole body made your walls clench tightly around his fingers. But it went even further. Lasting longer than you’d remembered, the orgasm made your legs shake, and you felt yourself squirt onto your sheets.

Your breathing was heavy and ragged as he pulled his fingers from within you. You watched him slowly move his fingers to his lips, licking and savoring the taste of your powerful orgasm.

“Mmmmm. I think we both got what we needed dear...”

#ns//fw #obey me fanfic #obey me smut #om! fanfic #om! smut #obey me asmodeus #obey me Asmo #om! asmodeus #obey me #om! #afab!reader

[curious-menace]

Can you do headcanons of any Riddler getting cared for and gentle kisses from reader after getting beat up? He needs some loves.

SO I MAY HAVE SUGGESTED THAT MY ULTIMATE FANTASY IS TO GIVE RIDDLER A HUG WITH BACKRUBS AS HE TELLS ME ABOUT HIS DAY AND I STAND BY THAT WHOLE-HEARTEDLY .

i freaking love this stuff so im going to do all of them mwahahah

post asswoop riddlers getting loves

Arkham riddler

He’s VERY quiet, which knowing him and his inability to stop talking, is  bad news.

I paint arkham riddler as a cry baby and i stand by that. this is the hill i will die on. He’ll have dragged his sorry ass into your apartment or house , dripping blood on your floors but he wont bother calling for you. he’ll just sit at the table with his head in his hands having a lil pity party until you find him.

when you do finally get home, he’ll be looking like a kicked puppy. he’s gotten stuck in his own head, mentally beating himself up even more. he got a fright when you came in because he was so caught up he didn't even hear you at the door.

He’s literally sits there like a child with his arms up for you to come scoop him up. he’s not even sure why his first thought after getting beat up was to come here, he’s probably lead the cops here or something and that was so stupid and- you should probably give him a lil soft smooch on the head to stop him before he goes into a spiral.

he needs more emotional and mental care than physical. Talk to him while you're patching him up. any topic, it doesn't matter just keep him focused on your voice and not the one in his head calling him dumb.

he wont admit he wants to be held and coddled after something like this. get your softest blankie and 2 mugs of coco with marshmallows and just ramble at him. tell him about your day or ask him to explain something boring and complicated so he’s focusing on that rather than how upset he is. let him sit on your lap or between your legs on the sofa and watch how its made or mythbusters or something until he falls asleep. he should be ok again in the morning, he doesnt stay down for long. 

Blacklight Riddler

He’s used to getting his ass kicked, either by batman, the other rogues or once he’s a PI, by unhappy clients and the people he put away. He might be tiny but he’s pretty tough. 

even if he’s really hurting, his probably trying to crack jokes and tell blood and bruise related riddles. He doesn't like to see you worry so even if he’s in a lot of pain or a bit upset about things, he’s trying to make you smile.

he likes kisses on his bruises. even if he just banged his hand on the table he’ll come to you because he wants you to kiss it better. 

He’s a decent fighter, unlike a lot of riddlers who couldnt fight their way out of a paper bag. He can throw punches but he lacks in defence and with his bad knee, dodging can be a little hard. even if he wins the fight he’s still likely to need you to patch him up.

He likes kids plasters. like hello kitty and spongebob. no im not joking, he ALWAYS wanted them when he was little and his parents always said no. now he’s an adult he’s going to use them whenever he damn well pleases.

 if it was a particularly bad one, he’ll be ok in the moment even if he has to go to hospital. But he’s going to drop the facade at some point and let you see how upset he is. winding up in hospital after being beat was a common occurrence in childhood. even after doing it time and time again as an adult it doesn't make it any easier on him. he’ll want to stay in your bed, be close to you for few days until either he starts to heal or something snaps him out of his funk.

BTAS Riddler

he really prefers other people to do the fighting for him. well physically anyway. he can handle his own arguments...most of the time. He’s going to need you to nurse a bruised ego more than anything. he probably got dunked on my batman or crane and now he’s huffing.

i don't know if this counts as care and kisses but he clearly needs you around to keep his sorry ass alive. he hurt his side in a fight once and said he wasn't hurt. believable... until he started to act a little confused, a little dizzy. needless to say it worried you enough to take him to emergency care. 

He was obviously in agony by now but he was still fighting with you the entire drive there, insulting you and insisting he was fine. its a good job you took him when he did, turns out he’d ruptured his spleen and would probably be dead if you weren’t around to act like his common sense.

he still hasnt apologised for that. or any of the other times you insisted on medical care to stop him from pushing up daisies. he just pretends like you know he’s grateful so he doenst have to admit he’s bullheaded, stubborn and worst of all, wrong. 

if he has been seriously hurt, he acts more indignant about it than anything. he wants to be waited on and pampered while resting in bed. he can be a genuine pain to deal with, talking about how lucky you are to see him in such a vulnerable state and how you should be grateful he’s letting you do this for him.

He doesn't want to admit how much he actually needs you. his goons wont put up with him when he’s like this and he’s freaking paying them to do it. you do it for free and no matter how annoying he is you havent left him yet. he doesn't tell you but youve noticed he starts getting you more gifts about a week after he’s recovered. like its taken him a day or two to work out he should probably thank you for all you do.

Original Riddler

this riddler is just weird. like he gets a freaking hang nail and he pretends like he’s dying. but he could nearly lose a limb and he’ll say “tis but a scratch” and still try to hobble about like nothing is wrong.

actually he’s more like olaf “oh look i've been impaled.”. he probably tries to laugh off life threatening injuries like its nothing, taking maybe 3 steps before he collapses on his face in a blood puddle and lets out a tiny “help”

good luck moving his tall lanky ass around. better get a gurney and maybe those vets at the zoo who deal with giraffes. seriously if you want to take care of him you are going to need help or some sort of action plan and a go bag because with his limp butt this will not be easy.

he’s kinda like BTAS riddler in that he needs you to tell him the injury is serious. hes not dumb he just has a high pain threshold and genuinely doesn't realise that injuries are as bad as they are. 

he can be a bit of a baby while being patched up. he doesn't like a lot of blood or gore, it makes him feel a little sicky. better give him your phone to play with like a kid at the doctors or put the tv on for him to watch while you bandage  him. word of warning, he will pass out or throw up if you try to give him stitches.

i think you should focus your love and attention on him AFTER medical care. just focus on the job, be silent and as fast as possible to get it over with quickly. you should probably bring him something sweet too. no not just you, although you are sweet for looking after him. give him something sugary because he’s going to be light headed after seeing any blood. maybe you could give him a lolly for being a good patient. 

Telltale riddler

this riddler is essentially a metahuman. he can REALLY take a beating and bounce back fairly quickly. just look how many times batman punched him in the face and it barely stunned him! he doesnt usually need patched up after a fight. maybe just a lil smooch and some hugs

he did really need your help after the whole pact thing. having his friends abandon him hurt like hell, more than any physical injury ever could.

after that, he clings to you. almost obsessively so; we know he’s got some serious mental illnesses but he usually has the worst of it under control, even without meds. now? it seems like he’s experiencing ptsd and is afraid to go anywhere without you, like you might up and disappear if you arent in his line of sight at all times.

i think this riddler might need the most intense care from you. hugs and gentle reassurance wont be enough. you’re going to be responsible for taking him to therapy, keeping him taking his meds and grounding him to reality. this is the kind of responsibility you took on when you got involved with him but i doubt you realised how hard it would be. i cant promise it will all be worth it but i can promise he wont ever forget your kindness.

the kind of care he needs after such a hard knocking down is just stability. im not one for romance or any mushy gushy stuff but please just pour your love into the cracks in this poor mans soul.

its hard going, but he has his moments. his gallows sense of humor is still there and hey, after him being in and out and gone for so long, it might be nice to have him around more.  

Zero year riddler

INSUFFERABLE LITTLE SHIT THIS ONE. he could LITERALLY be bleeding out in your arms and he’d STILL be backseat driving on your medical skills. the temptation to just leave him there to bleed is INCREDIBLE.

he’ll drop the act eventually. he’ll ask and maybe even beg for your help. man has  no shame and all the self preservation instincts of a lemming. dont get me wrong, he can be a total coward some times, only looking out for himself . but when he’s actually hurt ? not a fuckin clue. does this head wound need an ice pack or heat pack? is this spurring blood wound worthy of medical care? no idea. he was a very sheltered child who never got so much as a bruise so he has no idea what to do when he’s hurt.

he gets the everloving shit kicked out of him on a clockwork basis. like you could hear knocking on your door at 3 am and already be at the table with a first aid kit like oh its tuesday riddler must have broken his nose.

he takes entirely too much joy in making you patch him up. youre starting to wonder if he’s doing it on purpose just to see you in your little apron and latex gloves . he’s getting off on this and you know it but god help you, you just  cant resist his dumb face asking for your help and would you also wear this pink nurses outfit while youre at it?

one time he lost a LOT of blood. he would be fine but he was pretty damn loopy from lightheadedness. while you were trying to get him into bed to rest he started flirting with you. can you believe the audacity? he’s lost 3 pints of blood and he’s still more focus on his libido? 

he’s actually going to be both humble and grateful for your help when he finally comes round. dont get me wrong, he’s still a bit of a prick but at least he says thank you for saving him before he demands you kiss all his booboos and ouchies. 

nonnie i am having a stroke. i was trying SO hard to just pick one but i COULDNT because i am WEAK for hurt and comfort.

theres a reason i have a tag that literally says “i have naughty hands and no self control”

someone needs to stage an intervention

got something you wana talk about? send me an ask or a dm! im always game to talk about our favorite curious menace 💚💜

#asks #riddler headcanons #riddler #edward nygma #edward nigma #arkham riddler #arkham knight riddler #arkham knight #blacklight riddler #blacklight au #btas riddler #btas #batman the animated series #original riddler #telltale riddler #batman telltale #zero year riddler #zero year #my stuff #my writing #my headcanons #headcanons

[secretsniper3]

Part 3: Well Hung

My Master was right to lock my pussy behind a wall of steel, I constantly woke up to find my hands caressing the fluid that would run around the belt, my need evident and throbbing clear to me but in my belt there was nothing I could do but roll over and go back to sleep. 8am, my usual routine is stopped right out the gate by my belt, clearly meant to skip it Im greeted by my Master in the doorway, I stand completely naked save the belt locked to my hips. He steps towards me and tell me to not bother getting dressed, and puts a latex hood over my head, my hair black now (did he dye my hair overnight?) pushing through the hood to form my ponytail as he laces me into my latex face. Arms placed behind my back im cuffed in place and a posture collar locked around my neck with a leash attached. Following the leash im led into the main hall of my Masters home and I see something new, something that wasnt there last night. My Master clearly worked through the night to complete this device, largest device Iv ever seen he takes me into the middle and unleashes me. Locking a chain to my posture collar more restraints are added all over my body, my upper and lower arms get binders locked on with chains, wrists too, Waist gets 1 and thighs, shins and ankles for their own. unlocking my hands from behind my back my Master steps back, marvelling at his work.

Holding a large remote he presses a button and all the slack in my chains vanish, held tight by the chains my actions are clearly not mine to decide. Spinning a dial Im lifted into the air 3 feet, and pivot forward, my arms move behind my back and meet elbow to elbow as my knees bend back and my feet meet my hands and Im amazing this device can pull you so smoothly. Stepping towards me and raising me up to meet his gaze my Master places his hand on my cheek and with a smile moves to remove my chastity belt, with my wet sex exposed to him, fluid running faster and harder with each passing second he takes a deep breath, savouring my scent as I try meekly to move my hands a little lower to cup my pussy. My Master simply puts a finger on my labia to draw a instant reaction from my body, a gasp and a moan follow as he rubs up and down my lips carefully with a smile on his face. My focus is broken by a knock at the door, my Master going to answer I see a woman standing there talking to my Master. She is a tall woman, the high heels helping with that, a long, black latex dress drapes down her slender thighs as she gazes over at me. Ruby red lips and beautiful blue hair running freely down her back, closing the door my Master leads the woman to me and says aloud, “this is the Slave i was telling you about.” the woman's eyes widen, her red lips part and my eyes are drawn to them as she speaks, “for how long can i play?” “how long are you in town for?” my Master responds with a chuckle.

Licking her lips making them shine flawlessly as my Master takes a seat infront of me, the woman circles around, like a bird of prey having found its next meal she scans my entire body with a hunger in her eyes that sends a shiver down my spine. A touch of her finger ends the shiver before it reaches my sex, all my focus is on that 1 finger, tracing its way over my limbs, seemingly scaring my flesh with its burning hot touch Im sure to melt no matter what this woman does, eyes flying to my Master as he sits with a drink in hand with his eyes glued to mine. My pussy making its need known to all in the room as the puddle that was small moments ago grows larger by the second as the finger moves down my waist and over my smooth, firm ass and down my thigh. Clit throbbing as my pussy spasms at the sensory overload at just a mere finger I hear my Master say aloud “im keeping her in denial for now, think you can make her pussy even hotter than it already is, you be my guest.” All I hear behind me is the hum of a hungry animal as the finger loops over my thigh and scratches up the inside, drawing a line in my skin leading right to my puffy lips. Right there, just a little bit further!

Pain strikes my pussy as her hand comes down on my lips, a shriek of surprise and pain bursts from my lips as my pussy shakes in the aftermath. Finger still moving, painfully slow Im met with another wet slap to my pussy, and then just as suddenly a finger dives deep into my pussy. My gasp of pain elevates into a gasp of joy and bliss, my drooling pussy is getting action and I cant believe it! The finger withdraws with a wet pop as I hear her laughter behind me.

“Come now my dear, youd think id really let you cum when your Master wants your pussy denied of such pleasures?” thrusting a finger inside again for a moment before removing it a second time I know she is, quite literally pushing my buttons as her finger presses the only button that counts. The button that stands out, big and red and throbbing with need, a simple glancing touch is all it took to get my body right to the very tip of the edge a simple breeze would push me over, my eyes shooting into my skull as my brain tries desperately to comprehend what I just experienced. She waits till I have calmed down enough then repeats the glancing brush, sending me back to the peak. Looking ahead my Masters chair is empty, looking around for him I hear him laugh behind me as I hear him give the succubus something, what could he have given her. I am greeted with a smile on his face as he looks at me on his way back to his seat.

“Enjoy the ride, Slave.” is all Master says as my urethra is jabbed with something long and hard, my juices serving to lubricate it so it slides in easily as she proceeds to sound me. The pain quickly being overtaken by pleasure as Im fucked in a hole I never considered fucking before, but shes watching me. Pulling it out before I crest the ridge of pleasure Im left to moan and beg for release, my Master stands and grabs a blindfold and a spider gag, taking away my vision and ability to speak he takes great pleasure in my loss of senses. I dont need eyes to know hes hard, and hell probably use me sooner or later.

My clit still throbbing dangerously close to the edge the woman starts to caress it with, what is that sensation? oh god no! its a brush, she circles around my inner labia with the bristles of the thin brush and I cant stop her at all, she eases the head of the brush against my clits hood and it slips between them, rubbing my clit at its very core removing it the second before I would otherwise cum hard! This torture would carry on for some time of painfully hard denials at the last second before my Master pushes a button and flips me over in the air.

My breasts now facing the roof and the device that holds me begins to pull my neck up, rising to meet the demand my mouth presses into the woman's pussy. She is done playing with my cunt, now Im to play with hers, and she isnt forbidden to cum so within minutes of my talented tongues assault on her my face is glazed with her juices but she still holds strong. Clearly seeking more from my mouth she presses down and my tongue dives in deep, tasting the woman's pussy as her cum drools into my mouth and down my throat. Her warm folds locked around my mouth as she grinds my face into her pussy, cumming again and again.

“shes very talented with her tongue, and her pussy wont stop shaking, i can see her clit from here!” she says with orgasmic bliss in her voice

“i know how to break a slave” My Master replies, and he isnt wrong. Im broken, his plaything to do with what he wants.

The woman stops grinding into my open mouth and my face is coated in a thick layer of her juices, I start to think its over as my Master takes my mouth for his own use. Driving his hard cock down my throat my tongue naturally wraps around the shaft as I accept my Masters meat in my throat, thrust after thrust Im rewarded with a hot burst that flows quickly down my throat. Removing my blindfold Im treated to a sight I havent seen in a long time, my Masters cock inside a pussy. pumping in and out, oh how I wish it was my cunt he was plowing as he thrusts harder into the woman and her back arches in erotic bliss, my Masters hand gripping her blue hair as he continues to fuck her to orgasm. Im treated to a first class show as my Master and the woman continue thrusting into eachother, orgasm after orgasm they wont stop taunting me. The woman constantly bragging about how good it feels to cum knowing my pussy is denied and having my clit throb making it all the worse!

So there I hang, fixed in the middle of the room watching my Master and the woman fuck to orgasm over and over again, I cant even look away, their moans, their screams, flooding my ears and my pussy with need! They finally stop their exhibition match at my expense and my Master reveals my new belt, it has a long slick metal dildo where my asshole would sit, and another thinner pole for my urethra, nothing for my needy box though. I moan helplessly as they both set to lock my body back in its cage. Flipping me over and standing me upright, the woman gives me a deep kiss, tasting her own juices on my lips as her tongue fucks mine with gusto and my Master escorts her to the door. I manage to make out “we should do this again soon” as they kiss on the cheek and she leaves me to my denial with my Master.

Locking my feet in ballet heels before removing my restraints I am left to wobble on jelly legs as my arms are locked in a strict reverse prayer binder with elbows meeting in the small of my back, he says this is just beginning and at that thought my pussy clenches a little. A corset around my waist to make breathing more difficult when combined with my latex mask and posture collar, blindfolded once more Im left in the dark as my neck gets yanked and I lurch forward in my toe crushing boots. Stepping forward a few paces Im forced to my knees as Im pulled over and down, my Masters got a hard cock again and its my life's mission to sate its lust as I take it in my mouth and down my throat. My Master not even helping me as my latex coated head bobs up and down on his member and he cums down my throat. Pulling me back he takes in my appearance. “you look amazing if i do say so myself.” he says with a smile, I can hear his joy in his words as he stands me back up and turns me around and with another yank, Im walking again.

Hard to focus on where hes leading me to, he keeps rearranging things while I sleep and my inserts are only adding to my frustration. The pain in my feet far from over as the inserts inside me are fixed to the belt, every step making them sway side to side inside me, though not enough to make me cum, I cant cum from anal or he wouldn't have put 1 in my ass. Continuing to lead me into a room he fixes me in place and pushes a tube in my mouth, unscrewing my urethra and pushing a tube up into my bladder. Pressing a few buttons Im forced to walk forward as he laughs beside me. Its a treadmill! With no way to get off as Im completely secure and forced to march on in silent obedience. Unable to draw breath through the tube my nose is uncovered and fluid pours down the tube and into my mouth, Im hesitant at first but my Master commands me to drink and so I do it since it is “your lunch after all” he said as he turns and leaves me to your walk. the fluid running into my mouth periodically consists of oatmeal, vitamins and minerals and 3 types of aphrodisiacs. Every step hurts my poor enslaved feet and legs but what could I do besides walk on the path my Master has set for me?

2 hours later my breathing is ragged and hoarse as my Master returns to stop my walking, unhooking me and leading me back to the lounge he lays me down and frees my toes from their prison. I moan as the boots slide off. Removing my belt from my waist he sits me down in the bathroom and tells me to relieve myself. following his command I do as Im told and he cleans up after me, reapplying my belt with little resistance as Im exhausted now and very tired from my walk, he leads me back to my room and lays me down, releasing my arms and removing my corset and latex hood he rolls me over and with a kiss on my forehead I drop straight to sleep. He pats my ass knowing that my pussy is safe behind that wall of cold steel and goes to set up the house for the party tomorrow, knowing I will be asleep the rest of the day and through the night. My Master always knows how to put me to sleep.

[deeeelightfuldee]

Are you better at cooking dinners or making cakes/biscuits/sweets? baking definitely. I want to get more comfortable cooking.

Have you ever cut someone else’s hair? yes. I used to be pretty good at doing my brothers hair-- even the fading. But I’m sure I’ve forgotten it all by now.

Who was the last guest in your house and what were they staying for? probably my sister or my nephews.

How many long term relationships have you been in? blegh. not many. Whenever I’d know that it didnt have long term potential, id drop it. no sense dragging out the inevitable.

Do you sleep with all the lights out, or do you leave a lamp or even the television on? so for the longest time I kept my room super dark. I slept well. once miller died and kile broke my heart, I couldn’t sleep without the tv playing. I needed to hear something calming and voices talking so I wouldn’t be left with my thoughts. I still can’t turn it off.

Who is one person you have forgiven, but still have not “forgotten” what they have done? i think its easy to say “forgive and forget” but the reality is that once we have endured trauma we don’t easily forget. I think its kind of unrealistic. I’m trying to forgive kile but thats going to take.. i dont know how long. As for what it was... it was just betrayal.. lying. for six+ years. lots of laughing at me. 

Are you a fan of Lana Del Rey? I like some of her songs.

Do you know your blood type? o+

Do you know your mother’s birthday? Yes. its coming up. 

Have you ever been pregnant? I dont think so. I was really late after my assault but who knows.

How old were you when you first went on a plane? like 7ish

Have you ever had to take out a loan for anything? Yeah, student loans. 15k feels so daunting right now.

Are both of your blood parents still in your life? One is. My mom.

When was the last time you went apple picking? highschool maybe?

Someone asked you what you wanted, what would you say? money.. or a trip.

Have you ever been drunk at school or work? definitely not. 

How many bedrooms are in your house? four. 

Are you smart about computers? I know some stuff.

Have you ever played Just Dance for Wii? oh heck’n yeah

Do you own a Xbox 360? I had one from my brother for a little while but I traded it for the gamecube since Kile was going to send me one of the 15 he had lol. That didn’t end up happening, but its OK i really dont need more gaming.

Would you ever do a sex tape for a million dollars? oooooooo.. probably not.

So, do you need a nap? all day is full of naps to try and get over this.

What would you rather be doing? school

What sport are you the best at? maybe volleyball or swimming

Do you have a little sister? What’s her name? Nope, im the baby. 

Do you complain a lot? no, i try not to. I find complaining to be the most unattractive and yet common human trait and while there are definitely situations worthy of complaining, most of the time it just makes a situation worse than it actually was.

Would you rather go to an authentic haunted house or an ancient temple? temple

Do you like fruity or minty gum? definitely minty

Are you looking forward to any day of this month? i was really looking forward to Kile’s birthday on monday, but since we arent talking anymore then there is no joy in that. all the other special dates have been ruined by covid.

Have you ever gotten detention? Nope. homeschoolers and detention arent a thing. 

Is there a traumatic event that you’ve experienced that’s changed your life? oh sure. heartbreak, deaths, assaults, etc.

Do you buy a majority of your clothes from a certain store, or do you just pick out items of clothing you could see yourself wearing, not caring about the store it came from? no, i can’t be super picky because not every store carries clothing long enough for me.

Have any of the artists you’re fond of released new albums recently? i havent got a clue

Would you ever keep your favorite animal as a pet? I mean I’m very fond of cats & dogs

Ever cried so much you threw up? this is what happened the whole 2-3 weeks following finding out about Kile.

Who is your best guy friend? I suppose now that would be Nathan

What do you two do when you hang out? drives, game nights, get food/drinks, or just talk.

What is a movie that you thought you would hate but you ended up loving? Her

Do you even like horror movies? not particularly. I’ll watch them if someone else wants to but its not my preference.

Do you live in the country? i live in the suburbs i suppose.

What is your favorite accent? Some southern and British accents. <same ... i have no idea how I made the font like this.

Have you ever had a boyfriend your parents didn’t like? Not that I can think of.

Do you drink Pepsi or Coke? diet coke

What do you plan to do on your 21st birthday? my family celebrated during the day and then I think nathan took me out on the town

Do you have any person in your family with an addiction to beer? nope.

Do you take a lot of pictures? man. this question is hard. I used to love taking pictures of myself. I had much more self confidence and some of it was because kile LOVED my selfies -- or so he said. and I just had so much fun doing that. Since the heartbreak, I’ve maybe taken 10 selfies. I just don’t have any self confidence in my looks anymore. its so different now. most of my pictures now are of other people or scenery.

What kind of face wash do you use? cerave when I want to. otherwise i use water and a very particular type of fabric. 

Does drama always seem to follow you? No, i dont think so.

Does anybody in your family race? like cars? running? no.

Are you closer to your mom or dad? My mom.

How much money did you used to get from the ”tooth fairy?” I think i got it like 2x and it was a dollar.

Do you have a laptop or desktop? Laptop.

Do you like your parents? i love my mom.

Do you secretly like someone? No.

Would you ever date your best male friend? I don’t see any romantic feelings developing between nathan and I

What are you currently listening to? I have gilmore girls on.

Do you want to be single? oooof. Um. I am torn on this subject. On the one hand, i really am ready to be loved, held, protected, cared for, etc. I love the idea of building a life together with someone and us both protecting our unit. I miss supporting, cherishing, loving on someone. Yet on the other hand, im fine being single. I have so much insecurity about myself lately that I dk that anyone else needs to deal with that baggage. Idk

Did you go out or stay in last night? I stayed in. ill be staying in for some time.

Have you pretended to like someone? romantically, no. professionally, yes.

How is your heart lately? Sad. heavy. 

Are you wearing socks? not at the moment. 

What do people call you? Di, diana, dee, ana, di-nan-na, dine-uh, deenah.

Do you get stressed out easily? no, I really dont

Have you ever been taken to the emergency room in an ambulance? yes

What is wrong with you right now? im sick. im heartbroken.

Do you own something from Hot Topic? not that I know of. if I do, it’d be from like middle school. I never shopped there but people tended to give gifts from there.

Would you rather sleep with someone else or alone? Alone. maybe I havent found the right sort of person to share a bed with.

Do you still talk to the person you last made out with? No.

Have you ever seen your best friend cry? Yes, several times. 

Did you get any compliments today? No.

Have you ever gone to a beach? many many many times.

What would you say if someone asked you to get high right now? not my thing. at all.

Do you believe that everything happens for a reason? Yes.

Have you ever done volunteer work just because you wanted to? Yes.

Do you have long nails? they are healthy length. I want to grow them out a bit more. 

Do you like the gender you are? Yeah.

Do you generally look nice in photos? Not anymore

Have you ever had a stick insect as a pet? no haha

What colour are your father’s eyes? Blue.

If I handed you a concert ticket right now, who would you want to be the performer? uhhhhm, blue october

Would you ever get into a long distance relationship? maybe not anymore. 

What’s your favorite hot beverage? hot chocolate from dunkin

Did you ever play an instrument? If so what? i did. no comment.

Would you rather carve pumpkins or wrap presents? oooooohhhhhhhhh man i love both.

Do you think you’re important? I mean i offer some importance to this world but eh.

What’s the best compliment you’ve ever received? Hmm no idea.

Have you been diagnosed with any mental disorders? no

Have you ever moved to another state or country? If so, how did it feel to be new? No.

Do you know how to properly eat food with chopsticks? Nope.

What was the first thing you ate today? I haven’t eaten since breakfast yesterday

If you could spend the day, doing absolutely anything, with anyone, anywhere, what would it be like? for the longest time it was to spend the day driving aimlessly and getting food and talking about everything and nothing with Kile. now, its just.. idunno. blank.

If I were to ask you how you are doing, and you were only able to answer completely honestly, what would come out? I’m not doing well.

What is the one thing that you have been avoiding that you should do? There’s a few things related to school.

Is there anything that you wish you could take back? not really, no.

What, in your mind, could make you truly happy? this whole covid nonsense going away, heartbreak to soothe, and my miller back.

If you could change one conversation in your life, what would you say differently? Would it have REALLY made any difference? i dont know. 

When is the next time you’ll change your hairstyle? Will you color it? I just changed it up so itll be a bit.

Do people normally say you’re a fast typist, or are you rather slow? Fast.

Have you ever been considered the ‘smartest person in school?’ yes. several times.

How many drugs are in your system? lol lots of meds rn to kick this. usually none.

What’s on your schedule for tomorrow? the same as today.

Do you currently have any bite marks/hickeys on your body? No. i dont like the idea of bite marks but hickeys were fun for a time. in not visible areas tho.

Do you call anyone baby? Not anymore.

What’s your current mood? Bleh.

What were you doing before filling out this survey? Watching gilmore girls

How late did you stay up last night? I took PM meds at i wanna say 8? maybe 7? I don’t remember.

When was the last time you cried really hard? its been a few weeks since ive cried about Kile. I’m in the numb stage.

Is your hair longer than your shoulders? hahahahahahah

[tigercomplex]

what the FUCJK

#i cant believe myself . letting me get into a conversation where i feel like the other person genuinely cares about what i like #i havent felt this was in a long time what the fuck .... twhat the fuck #im like a villian whos experiencing joy and the spirit of goodwill for the first time #and making a show about it while the good guys are like ''see??? its great'' nd im like NO its HORRIBLE leave me alone i want to rot

[girlofdogs]

hello there !! Your posts(especially the ones concerning the studying stuff) have been helping me a lot but I just want to open up to you idk why but I think I need someone to help me ? so during my last test I actually failed in chemistry and I have been bothered a lot. not bragging but I havent really ever failed at any subjects my entire life and this year is my final year as a student and I feel like it's not the right time to fail and I did and I'm so afraid I have been slumping(lockdown for over month now) for so long, I dont know how to get back I havent experienced this and I seriously need help I feel like Im about ro ruin my life...

hi! to be honest, i don’t know if i’m the best person to seek advice from, considering i’m still in school (i’m coincidentally taking chemistry right now) but i’ll give it a shot (take everything i say at face value and if something doesn’t feel helpful feel free to ignore it.)

first of all, i want to let you know that your feelings are valid. it’s completely valid to feel upset or frustrated or like you could have tried harder.

however, please be assured that it’s not the end of the world. it might feel like it. the school system never fails to put so much pressure on students to do well; it feels like your fate in this one class will decide the rest of your life but it absolutely does not. you might feel out of control, but you are not. you are still in control of your own life.

regarding feeling like you’ve been “slumping”, let me remind you that we are in a lock-down that has been stressful on everyone’s mental state and capacities. it isn’t fair to hold yourself to your “best” standard, because none of us are at our best right now. take it easy on yourself. and also know that the current state of education (i’m assuming you’re learning online?) makes it significantly harder to do well. in these conditions you may have done the best you could. you have not been slacking off. rather, you should be taking this time to de-stress and find joy in other things that are important in your life besides school. 

try talking to trusted friends, family, or even your teachers about how you’ve been feeling. even if they might not be able to do anything to help your situation, it’s still important to have people that will listen and support you during difficult moments.

finally, know that there is always another start. you always have another chance. it might feel end-of-the-world at the moment, but just like any other thing you have encountered in your life, it soon will pass.

also thank you for sharing the sentiment that my blog has been helpful to you. if there’s a way i can be more helpful, please let me know! i’m rooting for you anon :)

#virtually sending you my support x #anon #answered

[thebowcollector]

hey tumblr, long time no see

I'll probs put a post up as a lil summary for this year in dec just as a log for myself but for now, i wanna talk about a new game ive played!

its called ikenfell and most of it will be under the cut cos spoilers. all you need to know is if youre looking for a good magic mystery rpg that may or may not take a dark turn, this game is for you. 

many people have been comparing it to be hogwarts but without the influence of a terf and theyre right! the ikenfell world is filled to the brim with magic, spells, and alchemy. the story bases on a girl whose sister went missing in the magical school, ikenfell, and decides to look for her there. 

i loved how as the story progresses, it gets more muddled and tangled with the school’s history and how magic works in this world. even in this short game, youre introduced to deities of the world that unravels the origin of magic and its system so youre provided with enough context. 

the environments are also so beautiful and charming in the game. i particularly liked the twilight forest and astronomy tower because of its twinkling lights and the fireflies that follow you around!! so gorgeous. other dungeons were also superb in setting the mood for the story, when paired with the music. this was especially so in the stacks. 

the puzzles you get through are so interesting and satisfying once you solve them! each dungeon has different puzzle types, but none too difficult. they also lend a hand in building up the mystery aspect of the game. most of the puzzles were also designed to fit into the different context of the dungeons and acts as a tool for storytelling, really well thought out! 

fight sequences are also so interesting!! the enemies are creative and have attacks that reflect what they are. the battle mechanic is also refreshing as its not only a time-based fight but also a strategy-based one. each of your attacks are not mana caped but planning out your moves play an important role in determining if you’ll win or lose. 

and the music! oh, the music was so charming! as it was done by the same team that did steven universe, you can expect similar chiptune meets piano style of scores. but it still distinct from the show, so it doesnt feel like it was an extension of it. and theres singing and really good lyrics!! 

a big selling point of the game though, i think are the characters. they all have such great character development throughout the story. they each have issues and problem they must deal with. topics like self confidence, isolation, relationships with others, and even ptsd are explored carefully and respectfully. the amount of effort put into presenting a healthy way others can react to those topics are superb. i think the most outstanding one was when maritte approached perty as she was experiencing symptoms of the ptsd. although maritte went against perty’s will so that she could pull her to safety, she went back to apologize to perty. respecting one’s boundaries is important, no matter the circumstances and im so glad this game addressed it. 

another aspect of the characters i need to talk about is how none of them are straight. in the main cast of playable characters, half of them are non binary and the rest are either gay or bi and i am living for it. and its all so natural when its indicated that character is gay or nb, they didnt make a big fuss by saying things like, btw, xx is gay or xx uses they/them or ze/zir. it all shown in how each character react when they meet each other and im in love. another thing the game handled really well was when someone misgendered a character. rook just straight up corrected her “excuse you, im non binary.” the game said that we shouldnt be apologetic when someone misgenders us because its how we identify ourselves, its who we are. finally, ive always identified with petronella as they is nb and shy. but something maritte said about them in the epilogue that completely broke me was “you dont do relationships, right?” i havent come across any media that has an aromantic character and i was just so overcome with joy i burst into tears. there are ace rep, but aromantic? oh boy. 

this game is so filled with love and creativity and charm. did i mention that you can pet all the cats? yea. 

#ikenfell #minor spoilers under the cut #major character spoilers under the cut #this game is so fucking good yall #dont sleep on it #theres something for everyone #youve got good plot puzzles battles music animation and characters

[curlytemple]

niche interests list 

okay sure yes this is fun! i havent posted a thing like this in such a long time. thank you new gal pal @scottspack for tagging me! 

pigs????

alright first lets throw it back to preschool! my fav childhood toys were my baby doll (snookums) and a plush pig that my grandma got me that i just called ‘pig’ ...i watched the babe movies countless times, and piglet? that anxious little guy GETS ME bro. when my preschool did a nativity play and my class got to choose an animal to be in baby jesus’ manger, my mother recalls me saying that i would be a pig because jewish people (jesus christ) wouldnt eat me. she has no idea how or when i learned about kosher foods. ironically despite my namesake i was too afraid of the movie charlotte’s web to watch it more than once because the scary farmer tries to kill wilbur for being small and the pretty spider dies. 

sugar creek gang 

OKAY this is a book series from the 40s-70s about a group of christian little boys in indiana who went on adventures in the woods and helped people. my dad read a LOT of chapter books to me as bedtime stories when i was little (see also the mandie series, nancy drew and the hardy boys, little house on the prairie) but sugar creek gang is one that really hit. i read all 36 books with dad and at least once again on my own. there was a series of 4 or 5 movies in the early 2000s when i was the Perfect age to have a crush on most if not all of them. this might be too much detail but i have to tell you about these boys. we WILL not be revisiting the heavy religious themes. 

 the narrator is bill who is Good and Kind and wants to be a doctor when he grows up. his best friend is a chubby boy nicknamed poetry because he memorizes and quotes poems, he is the Detective of the group. BIG JIM is the leader of the group who is supposed to be like, 14, which was very cool and hot, to me. and yes there is a little jim, who is the baby of the group. then there is CIRCUS who is known for his climbing and acrobatics, and his FIVE SISTERS AND BEAUTIFUL SINGING VOICE. dreamboy. i’m almost done listing boys, i promise. a boy called dragonfly who is allergic to everything and hella superstitious. later in the series a new boy named tom moves to town and tom has an older brother bob who is NOT A CHRISTIAN (bully) 

tangentially, the buttercream gang, a movie from 1992 that was almost definitely made by some christians who grew up reading the sugar creek gang series which i’m guessing on vibes alone. will spare you Good Boy details but scott is in love with his best friend pete who moves to chicago and falls in with a bad crowd and scott just refuses to stop LOVING HIM. very gay christian film in retrospect. 

peter pan

so i know liking disney’s peter pan isnt niche, but it was the way i liked it. tinker bell stan from day one, i watched all of those disney fairies movies, even the ones that came out after i was definitely not intended audience. there was an online pixie hollow game where you could design your own fairies and play mini games where you gathered dew drops or something. had a HUGE CRUSH on jeremy sumpter in peter pan (2003) then i got really darkly obsessed with the idea of growing up when i was 12 or 13, and everything peter pan was deeply My Shit for my entire adolescence. i read the original book and every other twisted version of the story i could find and seriously freaked myself out about wasting my youth. 

shug

you’ve probably heard of jenny han now, or at least the netflix adaptations for to all the boys i’ve loved before and the sequel ps i still love you (always and forever, lara jean, coming soon?) but before she wrote THOSE, she wrote my first ever Favorite Book, about annemarie “shug” wilcox, a girl in the summer before starting middle school. it is SO engraved on my heart i cannot explain. i felt so incredibly understood and cant even tell you how many times i read it. thinking about all of the ways it made me feel SEEN is actually making me very tender so i’m gonna go on.  

the summer series

on the subject of jenny han, since she was now my Favorite author, when she came out with the summer i turned pretty in 2009, i was ALL IN. it’s not summer without you, and we’ll always have summer were published the next two years. a coming of age series about a girl isabel “belly” conklin who stays at her mother’s best friend's house at the beach in the summers. i really could talk about it forever yall. i actually dont know how to be succinct about it. i will try. her mom’s friend has TWO BOYS. one brother, jeremiah, is the golden boy and her best friend who is in love with her! the older one CONRAD is her childhood crush who's just sort of around while belly is firmly getting over her childish feelings and going out and experiencing teen beach life with jeremiah for the first time and figuring out who she is and wants to be! by the end of the summer he admits he feels differently about her (hence belly internalizing this as The Summer I Turned Pretty) and they get together. this is already too much so i will just say that the next two books deal with a PROFOUND LOSS and the selfishness of grief and the SELFLESSNESS OF CONRAD and i will absolutely lose my shit if netflix picks it up for a second jenny han series adaptation. 

pappyland

this was a kids show in the 90′s that features a character named Pappy Drew-It, an artist dressed like a 49er who lives in a magic cabin in pappyland. there’s tons of characters and music and life lessons but the meat of every episode is a detailed drawing how-to (pappy is actually a cartoonist, michael cariglio) and i have a hard back cover sketch book from my grandpa that i FILLED with drawings that pappy and DOODLEBUG taught me to do. there is a running gag that pappy always breaks his crayons.  

boy meets world

i KNOW this is beloved by many but i’m counting it because i’m simply too young to have such an obsession with it! the show ran from 1992-2000. i was born in 1996, but reruns on the disney channel and abc family cemented it as one of my favorite shows. cory and shawn, closer than brothers, shameless homoromantics, shawn is cory’s first wife!!!!! truly showed me what a best friend can and should be!!!!!! the great love of your life!!!!! TOPANGA, the og weird feminist girl who said stop shaving your legs and start speaking your mind, ladies! the characters are so richly developed that they are real people to my heart. YES every character on this show is in their late 30s-early 40s and YES i feel like we grew up together. in season one they’re in the 6th grade and we follow them all the way to COLLEGE. countless poignant life lessons, often literally dictated by the wise and hilarious MR. FEENY, cory’s next door neighbor and somehow one of his teachers for YEARS. my love was only solidified by the 2014 girl meets world reboot, centered on cory and topanga’s daughter and her best friend. (which was literally cancelled because disney didn’t want to transition from a kids show to a teen show, something essential to the original. also because that teen show would have had CANON LESBIANS. extremely shameful move in 2017!) boy meets world lives rent free in my heart and i will never evict it!!!!!!!

i consulted my mother when i got stumped for more and she reminded me that i had obsessions with the impressionist art period and babies and ANYTHING fairies or pixies, and i was way too young when my love of the canadian teen after school special degrassi began. she also said bob ross, which i was hesitant to include because he’s been super ~trendy in recent years, but to be fair (To Be Faaairrr) she’s right! i don’t think people really watched the joy of painting as much as i have throughout my life. best sick day show of all time.

lastly i could honestly list anna herself as a niche interest, my mom actually metioned that ive always hyperfixated on my girl friends (gay) but i’ll just note that YES friday night lights, YES barry lyga novels. love to share so many things with you, niche or not, they’re niche in Our Mind.

#with the baby obsession came an obsession with adoption #my aunt and uncle adopted and when i learned that there were ORPHANS whew #i was in preschool judging people for getting pregnant when there were SO many babies without mommies #she had a good point! #also does being a niall girl in 2012 count

[whentherewerebicycles]

I’m experiencing the wildest surge of hope and joy right now just scrolling through photos of the protests all over the country. oh my god. I don’t think I realized until now how much I’d given up on the dream of this country ever coming together about anything ever again. I didn’t realize how unhappy and depressed that made me feel—to believe that we would be this deeply polarized forever, that the internecine culture wars would get worse and worse until we finally managed to destroy each other and ourselves. idk we will see what happens there’s a lot of year and a lot of history left to go but the fuckin evangelicals are out there marching for black lives!! the kpop stans have called a temporary stan war ceasefire so as to fuck the police over!! that nyt editor dude got fired!!! all of these govt and military officials are denouncing trump!!! the minneapolis city council is disbanding the police department!!!! I’M EXPERIENCING FEELINGS I HAVENT FELT FOR A LONG TIME, LIKE HOPE AND A SENSE OF POSSIBILITY AND THE TENTATIVE FEELING THAT MAYBE AMERICANS AREN’T (OR DON’T HAVE TO BE) THE SHITTIEST PEOPLE ON THE PLANET.