#and i hate that if i came out and said to the ppl in my life 'oh lol i think i have an e.d' ppl would assu

[loafbud]

The first Splatoon game turned 8 yesterday!

#the last (and first) time i drew anniversary art for the first game was when it turned 1 year #imna use the tags to be all sappy real quick: #ive been a huge fan of the splatoon series since the first game & have played it since day one #splatoon is the first time ive grown up with a game series from the beginning #like i knew it was gonna be a successful game that'd eventually grow and become a series w/ a cool fanbase #for first/third person shooter games (esp multiplayer)- i could never call myself a fan of those #but the moment splatoon debuted in an e3 trailer??? it took a concept i'd normally go meh to- but made it into smthn colorful/unique #like??? weeks after the announcement i was already gushing over what the lore would be in their universe #it got really tiring seeing all the hate it received- id watch ppl stream it out of interest and their chat'd be like uggh this ass title? #or id watch gamers do one single lets play of it and be like oh ok i can see how this game is fun (me assuming they'd doubt it's potential) #but to see how much splatoon as a series has grown has me kinda emotional ngl #like yeah sure theres still ppl outside the fandom who has (or still has since the 1st game) sour opinions about it #but ever since the fandom grew over those 8 years- it feels like the love for this series outshines that #but man.... i said this already on twt but i remember going to my first color run event locally w/ my family #(this happened weeks before the game came out btw) -but id have my phone out with the inklings on my screen #and id look at my phone & feel this happiness (that i havent felt in a while tbh) at being in an event that had a lot of colors in it #and at the time seeing all the powdered colors flying everywhere at the end of the race reminded me of splatoon sm i was like raaaaah #WOW SORRY FOR THE LONG TAGS LOL #BUT YEAH- I LOVE THIS SERIES (thats all i wanted to say) #splatoon #splatoon anniversary #splatoon 8th anniversary #fanart #loafbud

[terroristiraqi]

oh i wish feelings would go away

#p #need to unregister from the class we signed up for together lol #unless i need it in that case he can leave #i do care about him but he was just exhausting me constantly #just being immature and not to my standards. which like fine i have high standards for ppl whatever #but just not being realistic at all. then has the gall to call me immature and call this 'tv ahh shi' #genuinely burst out laughing at that one #he loves me sure. #i realized i kept dreading calls or trying to ignore his texts and avoid him essentially #didn't see him for a month and we kissed day after eid and there was nothing honestly #none of the spark or the feeling that was there before #alhamdullilah. i came to my senses even tho 3 weeks late #he says he doesn't hate me. 'you're the only one who can break my heart'. direct words #he's upset no doubt. blocked him on everything #i think he thinks i'll come back i mean i came back twice #but khalas. sneaking around and lying and the excuses i keep giving to my family. it's exhausting #on top of me being already iffy about him. i'm 18 man i have so long to find someone #he was a lousy boyfriend a lot of the time. didn't make up for the things he said he'd make up for #he did get better but im not entirely sure since we didn't see each other for a month #all i need to do is look at the bright side of it all. i have so much freetime now. i can do what i want. i don't have to apologize for #every little thing. i feel more relaxed. i don't have to check my phone as often. i don't need to make excuses for someone else #alhamdullilah alhamdullilah alhamdullilah

[whoviandoodler]

grandma's real bad for my 'don't anger yourself into further digestive disorders' goal

#was on a call and basically said she thinks that they should bring back 6 months military training #'some men just need to get more serious/disciplined... I mean they need to be prepared to defend their country #am i supposed to? I mean women?' #I would rather for the rest of eternity have unserious and even borderline immature men than #Make a single person go through the abusive brainwashing that is military training #That they might come outof with even an inkling of thinking it's okay to kill someone #They're apparently conscripting again??? If that's what they call it #Coming to your house and asking about sons and whatever #First time saying it but thank fuck brother is abroad in america #And uncle and cousin live in germany #Uncle did that bcs it was obligatory then and he came back so... Out of it ig is the word #that he married the first woman he found that's like p cruel just to get tf away from my grandparents #And he moved like 16 hours away and never came back except on holidays #Also they're fucking 50+??? Leave them the fuck alone lol #Just. So mad so mad so mad how brainwashed is this country they think this is ok #And more likely than not what the army the president is arming 'but doesn't threaten anyone!' is planning for #Is further ethnically cleansing ppl who rightfully hate our guts #Just horrified and furious all around

[wings-of-angels]

.

#vent tw #vent #threats mentioned #domestic abuse mention #(sorta) #i hate my fucking brother #i hate that he thinks hes entitled to using bathrooms when other ppl were already there just cos he came home from work and thinks he can #kick people out #we had like a brief back and forth cos i was about to have a bath when he came home #and he was looking for food so i said im gona go have the bath real quick if hes not gona go up #he ended up going to have a bath pretty quick so whatever #not the ppint #the point is that like several several months ago there was a time when i was in the middle of having a bath when he came home #and he threatened to come in and forcefully take me out if i didnt stop so he could have a bath himself #and we dont have a door on our bathroom fyi and while he couldnt see me cos he was at the end of the hall it still fucking terrified me #and i get that hes just got home from building and is dirty and wants to use thr bath immediately so like.. today for example i get it he #can use the bath first #but any arguement about using the bath first fucking reminds me of when he threatened to physically remove me #and even tho he didnt it still makes me start shaking when im reminded of it #and i fucking hate it i hate it #he has a history of violence so like the threat felt very real at the time #sorry idk how to properly tag thus

[truckstoptigers]

I think the worst part about remembering is that at this point, nobody is off-limits. i was constantly surrounded by people who were abusing me/letting it happen when with my father. in the first few years of trafficking me, we lived in a tiny apartment that barely fit two people, let alone four. my little brother & i slept on a mattress on the floor while our father & his girlfriend slept in the bed. half the time we didn't even get sufficient covers or pillows. and his girlfriend didn't even seem to think anything of it. never tried to help us/provide bedding, never offered to turn the heater on for us, nothing.

we were in such close quarters that I don't know how she WOULDN'T have noticed something was wrong, but. that's the same woman that knew I was sick and had a borderline dangerously high fever, but still drove me to goodwill so she could try on clothes - I was literally sitting on the floor of the dressing room with my head leaned against the wall, fighting to stay conscious. we were just down the street from where my mom lived and she knew I was sick, but she didn't seem to care. neither of them did. my mom was FURIOUS when I got home and she took my temperature. all she had to do was look at me to know I was really sick, and she was pissed at my father & stepmother for knowingly disregarding that. my mom & her side of the family are the only reason parts of my childhood were good. they care about & love me so much, and I'm so grateful for that.

but.

I'm scared because I think my stepmother's brother did something to me too, but I can't fully remember what, and I don't know that I'll ever have all the pieces to put that one together. I'm scared because my uncle (father's half-brother) always scared the shit out of me and I can think of only one reason as to why that could be, because he was never physically abusive - he could yell, but he never raised a hand to me or his two daughters.

we lived with him for a while, on two different occasions. I was terrified of him. I didn't feel safe if his wife (my aunt) wasn't around. I don't remember enough to know for sure though, which is the only thing keeping me from losing it tbh. that bedroom down the hall in that trailer was the first place my father raped me. they might've even been home at the time, my cousins & their parents. I just - how could that stuff happen so closely around other people and NOBODY noticed? it makes my chest hurt. how did nobody think anything was just a little bit off? I'd scream & cry every time it was my father's weekend because I knew what was coming, but no one else did, and I was too scared to tell them.

it's hard not to feel a little bit bitter about that. it's even worse to have to seriously consider the idea that yet another family member was abusing me around the same time. and if my uncle really did do something to me, that terrifies me. my cousins are both girls. their mom lived with them for a while, but at some point she seemingly got fed up (she wanted to live a very different life) and walked out, which left my cousins alone with him.

I can only pray that the only man that did anything to me was my almost stepmother's brother (the woman we lived with in the apartment; she & my father broke up eventually) and not my uncle too. I highly doubt he'd only abuse me and not his daughters in that case, and that scares the shit out of me. what I learned in those eight years my father abused me is that no one - and nowhere - was safe. sometimes the men would pay my father in drugs, which I now know they probably did together because she developed a nasty addiction while she was with him - I'd seen him do hard drugs pretty often, and she did them too. I wonder if she knew where they came from. I can only hope she didn't bother to ask, but I doubt he would've told her if she didn't already know.

she didn't protect me. she didn't ever try to get between my father and I, even though she'd witness him screaming at me & sometimes hitting me. I was eight fucking years old. I still remember the time I innocently tried to help with my brother when he said a cuss word & getting smacked by our father because I "was not the parent." I sure fucking felt like I was. even my brother's own mother didn't take care of him the way she should've, and even if she does now, that's not something I can just forget.

I don't know. I really hope it's just my brain being paranoid, but I can't know for sure right now. I want to be able to say my uncle only intimidated me with words/yelling frequently, but I don't know. I don't know. and I hate that. I hate that the memories come back with no real consistency, and that I might not even be done recovering them. I want it to be over but I get the feeling it isn't, yet. I don't know if it ever will be.

I just hope I'm wrong, because that would make things so much worse. the one place I felt safe/like I could get away from everything was the same place I was raped for the first time, and in that case maybe it was never truly safe. maybe I'm an idiot for thinking anywhere with my father was safe.

at this point, all I can do is hope he didn't hurt me, but I can't even be sure he didn't.

#i hate this so much #its like. goddamn was ANY man i was around over there safe??? chances are not looking good!!! #i cant just up and ask my cousins abt it either. we lost contact when i got out. apparently they miss me though... i miss them too #they were the only ppl i felt safe around other than my stepmother's mom who is no longer with us. ovarian cancer is terrible #but like. how can i deal with the fact that their father may have abused me too? would i ever be able to move past that? i dont think so #it wouldnt even surprise me at this point. nothing can. remembering having a gun to my head while being abused kind of. broke me #like i dont know how it could get worse than that but i know it can. and it has before #my stepdad doesnt know hes the one that unlocked all of this shit for me. one word and it felt like everything came flooding back #and i might be the tiniest bit resentful of that. what he said to trigger those memories was horrible & i will never forget he said it #milo murmurs #fucking hell im so tired of this. does it ever end #csa vent #actuallyabused #actuallytraumatized

[artemisiatridentata]

guys omg i posted my first ever fic on ao3 yesterday and people are being so nice!!! I've already got three sweet and thoughtful comments, almost 100 kudos and nearly 500 hits!! i'm pleasantly surprised :']

#it's a lokius fic #did not expect That to take over my brain but after watching loki w/ my brother last week... well #i've been setting aside at least 1 day/wk entirely for creative stuff #and yesterday i intended to draw or paint but instead i wrote a 3k lokius fic! lmao #unexpected but hey i'm actually pretty proud of it and it made me feel good to write and im glad other ppl are enjoying it :] also side not #i love this :] smiley face it's so cute #personal #my art #(kinda. writing is art!!!) #it literally came out of nowhere tho like I’ve hated marvel since high school lol #and when my brother said I should watch Loki I was soooo skeptical but I did it bc I love my brother #and. well. I will not under any circumstances hand it to marvel but they kinda went off with the lokius subtext

[moomeecore]

Lol why do you defend bpd Seek help fr

bpd?? like. like borderline personality disorder? like, the mental disorder? that people have??? "defend bpd"???? DEFEND it?? from what??? abelism??? misinformation?? this ask is kinda mind boggling dude. like wow.

just so u know i am getting help for my multiple mental disorders :) that i have. ik that's not what u meant by "seeking help" but what does that rlly reflect other than ur lack of knowledge on mental health issues? wow i definetly trust you to be super educated on mental disorders considering you used "seek help" as an insult. ur rlly winning me over here.

here's a genuine question for you: have you tried seeking... i don't know... a reputable source on bpd? information on what it actually is, what it actually means to have bpd? or is ur only source of information that's led you to this conclusion.. reddit posts, listsicles abt "how to spot a borderline/narcissist/sociopath uwu" & ur own personal conclusions made from meeting one person w bpd one time ever.

#god i hate ppl like this #and the nerve to swnd an ask abt it. thats so PATHETIC LMAO #u care that much??? u r THAT dedicated to actively hating ppl w a certain mental disorder?? #..and u think IM the one who should 'seek help'?? #pls try reflecting a little bit. what got u to the point where u #(and ik u did this bc i dont think ive ever said anything else abt bpd) #u saw my comment sympathising w someone w bpd who got a rlly horrible disrespectful ask talking abt how 'evil' ppl w bpd are #CLICKED on my profile. and sent me this ask #ur short sentences and use of lol dont fool me. you are WAY TOO invested and u need to find something else to do w ur life #smthn that dosent hurt ppl! that dossnt spread misinfo or make ppl feel bad or encourage stigma!! maybe try doing a little reaserch paper #on bpd where u make sure to check the credibility of ur sources rather than looking at listicles like 'top 10 signs u know a NARCISSIST!!! #or if that sounds like too much work 4 you ..u could try minding ur FUCKING buisness . log off tumblr & try like #knitting or smthn. idk man. pick up a hobby please. for ur own saks #and for the sake of all the ppl w bpd out there who ur mercilessly treating like shit in order to put urself on a moral pedestal #bc ud rather pick & choose to beleive the 'easy' perception of life where ppl can be diagnosed with Bad Person and u get to feel better #than them .... than educate urself on the real world & accept the reality that things r more nuanced & complexed than that #(this ask didnt actually piss me off as much as it may seem. its p tame. i just have been complaning abt this sort of thing latley #and jumped at the bit to ruthlessly tear apart someone w these sort of beleifs. like u came to me dude lol. thanks for the free invite to #go feral lmaoo) #text

[stupidnaturals]

.

#GAH hate not knowing how ppl feel about me #bc i used to be SUPER close friends w this person like they were ~25% of th reason i came back to my uni town after moving away last summer #and i keep texting them like ' hey we should meet up sometime! ' and they respond ' omg YES 100% i have SO much i need to catch you up on ! #unfortunately i am out of town every single day. also so busy. ' #and like yeah okay college very busy life very crazy. but how are you out of town every single day and also why have you NEVER reached out #and i saw them in person at target and they seemed genuinely pleased to see me! and also said something like #' we gotta hang out i have so much to tell you!! *ill* message *you* ' in a way that seemed to convey guilt at ^^ all that #but then how in the WORLD do you happen to be driving out of town immediately after the one event i know we'll both be going to??? #and also casually gracing over the fact i also mentioned getting dinner beforehand?? #also i dont know any reason they wouldnt like me unless its one of those ' im autistic and didnt notice you getting fed up w me ' #or if theyre just actually that busy or too anxious to see people or anxious to reach out or fucking whatever #and like even when i saw them at target they told me a bunch of stuff that i dont tthink youd say to a random acquaintance #which if they do still like me makes sense! bc we were super duper close once! but doesnt make sense if they dislike me/want me to go away #like UGH just either ask me to hang out or say yes to a hang out or tell me to fuck off already!!!! #oh and ALSO the one time we DID have plans we didnt set an exact time but they texted me at like 11 and said ok we can hang out now until 2 #or they texted me at 11 and said ' i work at 2 but i dont think thats gonna be a problem also are you okay w hanging w my roomies too ' #and i know their roomies so thats fine but i was like ??? WHAT shouldnt be an issue? r you gonna call off to hang out for more than 3 hrs? #or are you gonna friend break up w me so it wont take 3 hours #anyway i was like uhhh shit we didnt set a time so im actually at a tattoo place like an hour away w my roomie? #so we rescheduled for the next day when uh oh they hung out w someone who was exposed to covid so had to cancel again! #i cant think of a single reason they wouldnt like me except that they never did but we had an activity together so they were stuck w me #and they seemed genuinely happy to see me and also seem upset declining plans but like if thats true what the FUCK is happening???? #anyway this was a mile long if you e read this far i love u if you have tips feel free to reply or dm me

[vazaez]

that’s not very cis of you

BYE🛌

It's complicated alright 😭💀

#a lil personal story about this now that the topic came up: #some time ago i started questioning my gender identity but i didnt like the spanish they/them pronouns on myself #they just didnt sit right lol #so i tried using gender neutral language (ig yall know spanish is one of the many languages that is VERY gendered #even fcking objects have their own 'gender' lmao) so yea if it pas possible i phrased what i said abt myself in a pronounless way #but when it was not possible to do that id use male pronouns to try how i felt with them. the thing is that every fucking time i did that #some dude in a gc i was in said 'dO u hAvE a D¡cK????' and it made me really uncomfy as if i needed it to be able to use those pronouns 🧍 #LITERALLY EVERY TIME so eventually i gave up because i thought what's the point of finding my identity if it wont be respected anyways? #so yea im resigned to be seen as the same I was born with the same i've always been and the same everyone knows me #dont get me wrong i dont always hate being a girl but sometimes it makes me curious how would it be if i wasnt #and i dont mind what pronouns ppl use with me most of the time as long as it's not with a bad intention #I've wondered if maybe i'm a she/they? idk i just gave up thinking about it #at least for now. i have my whole ass life to find out what or who i am so i don't feel there's a need to rush tbh #woah this rant got rlly long sorry lol idk if anyone will read this far 🏃 #btw it's not only about that guy but he made me constantly remember that most people at least here in latam are very closed minded #just like him so if i ended up finding an identity i was happy with it wouldnt be respected by most people irl anyways #i'm not in that gc anymore tho #i hope i was able to like explain well what i mean? i don't wanna seem like i gave up that easily just because some dude was being a jerk #it's just that i'm kind of an overthinker

[sammydem0n64]

Constantly thinking about a conversation me and a buddy had about how people in the modern era always end up making or Headcanoning villains as homophobic or just general bigots...

#No bc I think it’s a very interesting phenomenon #our conversation came down to how people are honestly unable to comprehend a person is horrible unless they’re a bigot #the example we were talking about is how so many ppl headcanon William Afton furnaff was homophobic to make him like. worse #when like. he’s already a kiddy murderer. I don’t think he can get any worse than that? he kills kids and is an abusive father #no need for him to also be a bigot but yet it’s a popular headcanon #and my pal said it’s bc a lot of ppl are unable to comprehend villains who are complex and have complex opinions/world views #and tbh YEAH!!! I think it’s really common for us to see villains or just people we don’t like as. unable to be like us #if a person sucks then we cannot have anything in common with them. when that isn’t the case #not everyone person who’s a piece of shit is a bigot. it’s common sure but not every villain is gonna be openly racist or transphobic #if anything a villain who has the same world views as the heroes/protags/audience makes them more complex!! #because it can show that anyone who is considered ‘a good person’ can actually be a pos despite their views or show how a person can fall to #-the dark side lol #and yeah obviously in certain cases a villain being a bigot makes sense and works story wise #I know I have quite a few antagonists who are bigots #but it’s a super common pitfall to just assign an antagonist ‘oh they suck so they also hate autistic people!’ or smth instead of like #just letting their horrible actions show how they’re a horrible person #I promise if a serial killer is a serial killer then like. yeah THEYRE horrible. and if you can only see them as horrible if they’re a bigot #then uh. I don’t know what to say to that!!!!!! #also going back to the complex point I know it’s common for people to not comprehend when a character does something bad and is considered b #-ad in the story unless it is EXPLICITLY spelled out! and I think the bigot stuff ties into that #ppl refuse to be like ‘ohhh this is a villain!’ unless the guy drops a bunch of slurs lol #once again depending on the story a bigoted villain makes sense and I have several bigot Ocs #but sometimes. bad people are progressive. or just aren’t homophobic. sometimes they have the same views as us #and sometimes... that makes them scarier and better written. #IDFK why I shared this rant here I just thought it was interesting and also this is a site where ppl make every villain in media #-homophobic soooo-

[unproduciblesmackdown]

would have too much to say that inevitably repeatedly breaking things up into tweets wouldn't be a pain but already going back like, lets check out andor episode one again in full true connoisseur mode and i'm not pressed if i make it into a proper in order rewatch, also when the bonus for me is that i'm always more likely to better keep track of names or faces or pick up on something that was supposed to be like a straightforward plot moment or whatever else, right, though i didn't have any especial problem with that. anyways i'm just already like oh this entire first sequence fucks, and i didn't really go into this that skeptically but do remember like yeah first time around it was like with this intro premise alone like ah i see this fucks then

like first of all an initial shot choice that is stylish, which tells us that there will be stylishness. fun that the couple evil [police procedural] characters are great at being pathetic zero charisma soaking creepy & wet disgusting in their own special ways, but cassian is getting rained on all the time he's cutting the plumbing line he swam here soaking wet literal treatment

things feeling figuratively and literally grounded (walking, only seeing that walkway, streetview, no soaring establishing shot to show This Isn't Your Ordinary City (scifi edition)) like, also still clear enough it's scifi but really with the Magical Realism type of approach, which i do imagine i enjoy more

the scoring is so good. BANGER of a track used when walking into the bar, also used later when dropped into the introduction of his beach getaway new life scene, brief as it is. the sexy edm style track, and it Is also like "well i mean. sure then" getting so far into this scene before it's evident like oh you're not actually here to have sex. pretty flirtatious w/this proprieter but it's like, maybe discreetly acting natural, maybe just acting naturally for real and it's just like that, we've all been there re Blend In, Follow Their Lead as a rule for operating anywhere ever, presumably relevant here, the Everyone's Wary nature of the whole series....tbt talking about jyn like yeah idk maybe her brand of wariness that's not charismaticly intense enough nor closed offedly intense enough is like, itself confusing or whatever but absolute "what's not to get or like" sense from me, and naturally cassian cropping up like it's your wary kindred spirit

anyways then having fun in there. looking at the required sexy hologram dancer like hmm they're a little space androgynous. a little space gnc af. the guys who are just immediately pissed off b/c the supposed new customer is getting preference. the delay after the proprieter lady is like Behave to them and cassian looks at her, then them. his immediate brooking no nonsense w/the two as soon as they're all hostile mode at him about all of it, at least in terms of like, not playing it utterly neutral. the It's Political times of him asking about a woman from kenari, proprieter lady going for both a) how about this other planet of origin and [names an inferred similar feature] as well as this kind of establishes already that [from kenari] can be space racially profiled, since cassian doesn't have to explicitly confirm that's where he's from too, and her inferring this is a Preference that can be catered to around physical features, and certainly once cassian's Wanted about this, the urgency around maarva & co asking who they've ever told that cassian's from kenari is sure like ah, space borders, space immigration, space [indeed the racial profiling when the soaking is he creepy or wet pathetic heinous cop pulls up an Image], the repeated like space colonialism and space indigeneity and space resource extraction that gets to come up more with [i've been in this fight since i was six years old] flashbacks....it's great like, the magical realism aspect where it's like [yeah Real Life but slight au] feeling immediately relevantly recognizable and as viscerally dramatic as you'd want, like, everyone's daily lives involving this inherent lack of safety that can turn into the stress of imminent danger on a dime. also the eventual b) asking if he's a Boyfriend or Husband like, space gender, magical realism style where it's like of course the space misogyny power disparity they'd be on the lookout for, might be vulnerable to a partner who is a space man. oh and then also the shift when he says it's his sister he's looking for, from more guarded to sympathetic when it's like, the context then isn't the woman's vulnerability being heightened if this is someone here out of like, a possessive angle, and rather that he's now not only presumably sympathetic to her as well, but potentially some of that vulnerability being extrapolated to him as well. which is not inaccurate

obsessed w/the Long Shot where cassian's getting held up by the two company sentry guys and it's him close up center frame slightly from above and just tearing it up acting while we only hear the other two for a good while until they wander in out of focus, that at first we also can't see and thus can't immediately Know they're talking to him....as well as again establishing like, yeah this is a prequel where we know our protagonist won't die no matter how [people are definitely dying] the situations are, yeah we know he's cool action guy even, but he's not operating in a story here where it's all about his protracted solo epic action sequences, he wants to avoid those, other people want to avoid those, everyone's better off operating more stealth mode if they can help it, but also that it doesn't matter to him that We know he's not gonna die, he doesn't know it, and Everyone knowing those stakes and reacting to the stress rather than being like stoic too epic to be at all fazed badasses. d luna crushing it, everyone's great but yeah sure acting as hell huh

also this time around i was just so much more noticeably affected by like oh i feel bad for this guy who's realizing his buddy who also sucks is dead and now that he's in over his head majorly life and death....everyone acting in every part is just going ham like bevy of these varied performances in varied roles and nobody dropping the ball in the least. while it's obvious too that like, feels bad for the panicky source in rogue one intro as well but cassian can't give much away then b/c he's not the protagonist and it's all very mysterious at this point. and that in addition to upping the surprise, it's presumably nonzero meant to be a kindness from him to take the time to comfort the guy before then blowing him away. whereas here the guy sees it coming and like, really brought this upon yourselves and you made this potentially life or death for cassian from the start, as he was aware, but this time it's like yeah cassian wasn't expecting that to turn into [bad luck, that headbutt killed you. and/or also the fall] and is Not so mysterious to us so can be clearly surprised and less than thrilled about things as well....but feels apropos that also w/ this intro of these two rando sentry guys from the bar who the proprietor was like yeah they're not really cops but they annoyingly like to act like it, it can be a bit more genuinely pathetic vs the Pathetic(tm) quality of the like imperial space feds characters. like oh i do feel bad for this guy and all the time he has here to plead for his life :( but doesn't feel like it's meant to be some [dun dunnn?] moment re cassian b/c it's like, tells us the stakes, tells us he's not fucking around and Will shoot someone but we've also been told he's not like here to be, or feel, badass invincible, is not unaffected by fear of death nor of having killed someone / death in general, but also Will be blowing you away if need be, also speaking to like, he's run calculations before abt like, whaddaya gonna do, what are the risks and which are you willing to take, and obviously has fought before and if he's ever killed someone before it wouldn't be surprising, some like "my god i've never done that before / now i'm out for blood, never look back" factor does not seem to be relevant. but fr was fun to be surprised by like oh i feel bad for this guy this time around lol noticeably much more than affected me the first time around. true [oops in over your head] vibes but which also then speak to like, yeah probably would've stopped pretending to be cops, just feels like yeah he's more distant from [uh oh, attention from Empire cops now] figures so it's like, ah, you bring it upon yourself but. i'm not quite sure what got me this time around lol, again i guess just more ability to focus on details and thee moment b/c i'm not like, needing to intently devote my attention to potentially following names and faces and plotlines b/c it's the opening scene here and don't get lost before things even happen. maybe it's having subtitles on where i'm all the more sure of the dialogue and him talking about "we'll go in together" has me like "there but for your fucking around, no need for this, i remember the vaguely friendly acknowledgment before your egos were bruised and you got hostile about it and escalated it to This" maybe it's even him offering a story and phrasing it like "we played too hard in hitting" when i have this like, vulnerable association lol like if anyone's upset / distressed enough And there's the immediate proximity / presence of something meant to be like, purely fun, where even talking about Playing may be enough to be like oh no lol, even when that's not really what happened. again, the acting from everyone, maybe it's just focusing all the more on that, wherein truly epic seeming distressed and miserable, maybe it also helps that we also get shots of more diego luna acting which is also to the effect of: pretty distressed and miserable, soaking wet. i dunno but i'm like hell yeah being all the more caught up in whatever.

also that this was like, oh a seeming potential thread establishment? and of course "whoops killed two guys" is indeed an established thread, the [looking for his sister] remaining latent as the setup to that inciting event and otherwise like, just something he does, characterization and [backstory thread] relevant, but only that. and yet, the way that opening scenes are generally meant to do, this whole sequence conveying plenty about how things are going to be, establishing overall contexts, thee vibe, that the soundtrack fucks, that nobody's messing around here in the least like. just as these first minutes didn't have to go so hard, so neither will the rest of the series have had to. i also didn't have to say all this or post at all but i get hype and when i have anything to say i really do. no concision. oh shit and we end with like the directional reverse of the first opening stylish shot but w/cassian in frame as well yeahh boyyee

#oh word? concision Is a word? #i know twitter is more so the place to talk about Your Damn Shows but i don't exactly do it correctly even there lmfao #like i said abt the fact having to make this some unwieldy thread over there is more so an inconvenience for Me lmao #if i said shit only b/c i thought it would be relevant to absolutely anyone. like i know ppl righteously Know this series fucks lol but #posting is about following your heart. what tf else am i about to do on my soshe accounts; or Have i been doing #so fun to have stumbled into the path of ''so true? this fucks?'' in that it sure wasn't a guarantee i went & saw rogue one. then rogue 986 #(the 985th viewing or what have you lol) then going I See re being aware this series exists; marinating; being readily talked into it if #like months later. somehow i didn't realize it came out...end of last summer??? early last fall??? not like i knew abt it ahead of time tho #thought i was a couple months behind lol but....anyways. love when either media is like oh nice i loved Or hated that in such a way that it #is then the enrichment of ''i could be giving a running [emphatic pointing at laptop continuous talking] commentary constantly here'' lol #anyways when the post exists already like aaaand send. what with it being me i'm certain i could've finished the ep while writing this lmao #the path of A Lot To Say The Hype Drive To Say It The Concision That's Not An Option the Posts Were Always Gonna Be Talking To Yourself And #If That's Relevant To Anyone As Collateral Bennies Then That's Fun But If It's Irrelevant To Everyone Then That Is Life #cinema!!! and it's tv. i'm just so like Yeah the ''this is going to fuck'' is really successfully contained in these initial scenes huh. #i keep calling it a bar(tm) but it's not pretending to not obv be a brothel that also technically sure is a bar #but it just feels kind of either awkwardly technical or [ofc the cops are the ones adding more confirmation calling it a Brothel] lol like. #andor

[bpdanakins]

remember when everyone had decided that noah was a gaybaiting homophobe bc he literally couldn't spoil things for a season that wasn't even finished being aired

#liz.txt #something something gross reactionary fans and making it hard for queer creators/celebs to come out #anyways noah came out and i'm so proud of him and i haven't forgotten that only half a year ago there was this mass outcry #abt calling him a homophobe bc he had to give the most awkward non-answer to a question that he would have inherently been dragged on #no matter his answer as He Could Not Fucking Spoil The Season bc it's his job!!! the show is his job #if he answered something like ''keep watching!'' ppl would hate him bc either he'd've been blamed for the writers' queerbaiting #if it turned out that will never had a coming out scene or anything of the sort OR #he would've been dragged in the mean time if he said to keep watching and then instantly forgiven if the fans got what they wanted #(which happened) OR he could have answered ''yeah will's gay'' and gotten into actual trouble with his career lol #people were so salty and making memes and hating on him sm for his very obvious non-answer that he obviously HAD to give #as the season wasn't fully out yet oh my god #and now they're all turning again bc he's come out like y'all are so gross sometimes!! leave the kid alone!! #and people try to say that there's no difficulties for queer celebs anymore #🙄🙄🙄 /

[pepprs]

less than 2 weeks left living with my roommates less than 2 weeks left living with my roommates less than 2 weeks left living with my roommates

#i said i would clean the apartment this weekend and yet i hear vacuuming and scrubbing. so i think someone is being passive aggressive abt m #me having not cleaned the apartment yet even though the weekend isn’t over and i am going to do it today. meanwhile im too scared to go use #the bathroom bc i don’t want to be seen not cleaning the apartment and also having not showered. i hate it here i wish i was in brighton so #i could have a bathroom inside my room and not have to do this silent warfare over who is I. the bathroom and who is cleaning it. lol #purrs #like the kitchen is bad enough but i just hate living here sometimes bc we never talk to each other and we are not friends. and it sucks #living with people you are not friends w and who you think hate you. i never want to live w ppl i barely know again it sucks so bad #also i technically am friends w one of my roommates and that’s why we live together like it was the two of us who organized all this and the #the others came along after but it was our friendship that led us to live here. and after this year i don’t think we are friends anymore. i #think she hates me and thinks im a slob and ever since we started living together we stopped talking like we used to and going out to eat an #and stuff and we weren’t rly good friends to begin w but i don’t see us being friends after this experience. bc she’s so neat and perfect an #and put together and im a trainwreck on legs and also keep being loud pn the phone so she has to text me to be quiet and i left crumbs on TJ #the floor last semester and she vagued me in the groupchat and got mad at me for my chili exploding too lol. so yeah no i think after this w #we will never speak or see each other again bc all of our convos now are abt apartment upkeep and nothing abt anything else lole. and i know #i could fix that easily and it takes two to tango but also i don’t want to even try bc im uncomfortable too ♥️ #LOLLLLLLLLLL ok i opened my door to go to the bathroom and as soon as i stepped into the hallway she closed the hallway door 😍 awesome. cool #so now i can’t go into the kitchen and im starving. awesome. this is really cool. i love living here i love this living arrangement

[inconsistentpete]

no more me nice guy

*gets off Tumblr and angrily starts a term long assignment that's due tomorrow with hardcore classical music in the background*

#Im already burnt out and ive only thougt about the assignment #i think i may have depression #not just because of this dw im not one of those ppl; #do your homework #please #i should be doing homework #fuck u crippling anxiety/ undiagnosed mental disorders #like everytime i try to start it i have an anxiety attack about some random prophecy i saw 2 months ago ona facebook post from my grandma #i hate myself #omg #what do i do?? #cbkjhviuhdfk;HRg;uihjvhfU;HjlS #I want to die #thats not a joke #im really so close to #it wouod be so much easier #nobody really cares about me #today i was packing up chairs in drama after watching a mini small performance #and i was teh only one that was doing it #but i wasnt trying to show off i swear #and then another boy came up and started helping me #and then he got congratulated #wtf #stfu #but he said that i was doing it too #which i was very thankful for #enfwkjsfkw #i wanna kms #everything is beautiful its just me that sthe problem

[triggeringtommy]

gggrrrrrr i feel ,,, like i can't make a big post abt what's bothering me bc i swear she doesn't follow me but she lurks on here from time 2 time so I'm ranting in the tags here side note I wish I could shut the fuck up but im struggling with that!!!!! >:(

#if u see this kai i love u #im so fucking stressed rn all i think abt is getting fucked up and od'ing so like yikes thats a problem #im tryna be excited and happy abt visiting fl but its so hard to keep my shit together rn #shes upset over her dad and low key taking it out on me and ik we're both stressed to the max #i can tell im having a problematic episode and its showing #i feel so annoying 2 every1 every time i say anything its eating at my brain #i feel like a shit person bc i wish i could do more for every1 but i cant even do for myself rn #i just want to smoke n drink n get fucked up and hav no cares in the world #i wanna drink sossooooo bad but my FL friends are gonna b watching over me like a hawk #i just wanna get away and do fuckshit but at the same time id rather kms than do drugs with those ppl ever again #like 2 1/2 years ago chase came by to help us move shit and he literally handed me a bag of meth and was like u want some?? i said wtf #i kicked him out bc he knew i was sober and i genuinely hate meth i accidentally did it 1 time on new years eve i swear i was finna die #i tried coke that night and i was on acid it felt truly magical i luvvv acid n coke #i just hav a rly bad coke problem but ive been sober since 2020!!!! #doesnt mean i dont think abt it allll the timeeee #sobriety rocks! jk jk this is the hardest shit ever #its just me n my nic vape against the world huh

[motheyes]

work so stressful omg

#kinda hate being the boss sometimes #i hate dealing with ppl it stresses me out #usually people r cool but aauugghhh #it’s like my job to tell people not to steal salad. but i could care less !!!!! #steal all the salad u want #i’m also scared of u and ur a little drunk #her friends were so nice to me tho omg #one of them said my name was rlly cool 🥺 #and the other had a spongebob sweater on #anyways #also salad bar it supposed to be like closed rn but they came in late and ordered salad #i’m gunna give them like 5 more minutes and then ask them if they need anymore #anyways aauugguuahagauaguaga #i get tomorrow off tho so literally whatever