#and i have to cut it off somewhere because even though i complain about model faces there are a lot of good performers out there

[shinestarhwaa]

NEW ROMANTICS || PARK SEONGHWA (PT.1)

Pt1 | Pt2 | Pt3

Genre: Fluff, Angst

Pairing: Seonghwa x Named Fem Reader

Word Count: 3.5K

Tags/warnings: Strangers to lovers AU, Readers name is Julie, Trauma concerning parents/fights/abandonment/alcohol, anxiety, starting a new life

Taglist: @anyamaris @a-soft-hornytiny @whatudowhennooneseesyou @wooyoungmybelovedhusband @pyeonghongrie-main @woosanbby @dreamlesswonder86 @changbinslovelylegs @jonghostie @lovjensoo @mjyungi @bratty-tingz @sugarnspice630 @stardragongalaxy @bro-atz @wisejudgedragonhairdo @mingisg00dgirl @wh0re4yunsangho @vesvosmozhno

ENJOY!

''Stupid piece of shit,'' you cursed, kicking your matte black bicycle. It seemed like everything about the world was against you and now you got a flat tire for crying out loud. Luckily you were close enough to home to walk home as it was only a few more minutes away. When you got home you threw your bike on the floor and walked into the hallway, kicking off your sneakers. Lola would probably complain about you not cleaning up right away but right now your world was crumbling down.

Lola already noticed the way you felt when she saw the look on your face. ''Bad day?'' she asked, opening her arms. You let yourself fall down on the couch and curl up into her arms. ''The worst. The pictures didn't come out the way I wanted them to, the model was a cruel bitch and I got a flat tire, like... What is up with the world today?''

Your sister gently stroked your hair to calm you down. ''Why don't you go for a swim and we'll have pasta after?'' You nodded. A swim always worked for you and it was one of the reasons you and Lola moved to this town anyways. You quickly got into your bikini and walked out of the backdoor, entering the beach. You ran towards the sea and closed you eyes, breathing in and out deeply, taking in the salty air.

It felt like home to you. After all the shit everyone's put you through you always felt safe and at home when you got into the water of the sea. You remember the way your mom and dad used to yell and the way Lola hid herself under the dining table and you locked yourself in the bathroom, the only place in the house where the door had a lock, the only place no one would bother you.

Every summer you'd beg for your parents to let you go for a swim, or to go to the beach as a family trip. Those days were the only days that truly brought you happiness. Those days were the only days they'd shut up. It became your safe place then and it stayed that way.

To you, the beach and the sea were reliable. Your parents were the opposite. After years of fighting, screaming and punching holes into the walls your father left without saying goodbye. You heard he lived somewhere in a big city across the world and rumors went on about him having a new family. You never felt the need to find out the truth though, because he was the one cutting himself out of your lives 10 years ago.

You ran your hands through your hair and felt the cold water surround your body, easing the tension. You swam for a while, just enjoying the coolness and the way you floated in the water.

''Watch out Julie! The waves are getting bigger, you should get out of the water!'' a voice suddenly called out. It was Lola. You looked around and saw dark clouds above the water. Realizing the sea would become rougher you decided it was indeed better if you got out of there. You stepped back onto the land and took Lola's hand, who was waiting for you by the shore.

•⑅♡⑅•⑅♡⑅•⑅♡⑅•⑅♡⑅•

After eating the delicious pasta carbonara that Lola made you go get ready to go out. You felt a little bloated because you ate so much but how could you not? Your sister made all the effort to make you a nice meal. Lola was an amazing chef and you always told her to do something with it, but Lola's passions were elsewhere.

Lola was always caring, practically has been since birth. Even though you were the older sister she knew just how to take care of you and make you feel better. Sometimes you were sorry about not being the best sister, because you should be caring for her more often too. Because who is looking out for Lola? Therefore, you decide to go out on your own to make her happy.

It wasn't entirely voluntarily but you think Lola might kill you if you didn't go out now. You shimmied into a black dress and put on black sandals to match with it. ''Wow, aren't you a sunshine,'' your sister commented sarcastically. You rolled your eyes. ''Shut up, I need a new summer wardrobe.'' ''Still? It's June,'' she laughed, ''You look beautiful. It's good for you to go out. After what Jake and Lexie did to you... You deserve new friends, and maybe you'll even meet a guy~'' she teased. ''Lola, please,'' you grinned, ''find one for yourself.''

''Oh, I don't know, I like being free right now, I don't have plans to commit to anyone this summer. Maybe later though. We can go out together to hunt for men,'' she laughed. ''Deal.''

•⑅♡⑅•⑅♡⑅•⑅♡⑅•⑅♡⑅•

The way to the Seashell bar wasn't long, but it was long enough for you to get sand in all kinds of places. You sighed as you leaned against the outside wall of the bar, shaking the sand out of your shoes. You wriggled yourself back into them and made your way into the bar. The music was loud, but the bar looked welcoming. You saw many people dancing, laughing, singing, some even kissing. A small smile played on your lips as you watched a couple feed food to each other.

You got to the bar and sat down on one of the empty stools. You ordered a 'sex on the beach' cocktail and looked around a little. A guy with dark hair sat next to you. ''This seat free?'' he asked. His darkbrown eyes shone - or twinkled, in the coloured spotlights, a smile forming on his lips.

''Well, I believe you already sat down so technically it's not free. But you can sit there, yes,'' you answered. You mentally slapped yourself for such a lame response, worried he might pick it up as offensive, but instead he laughed. It was a beautiful laugh.

You coolly wanted to take a sip of your drink but you nearly spilled it all over his thigh. ''Fuck, shit, sorry,'' you cursed. You covered your mouth with your hand and sighed. ''It's okay,'' he smiled, ''you didn't spill it. What are you drinking anyways?'' ''Oh, uhm, sex on the beach.'' His eyes grew wider before breaking out in laughter again. ''You nearly spilled 'sex on the beach' all over my lap? I would've been down, I guess. I don't know about all the sand though, it causes chafing and irritation.'' You laughed and blushed a little. ''Right, I'm sorry,'' you apologized again.

''Hey, it's fine, calm down. My name's Seonghwa. I haven't seen you here before, are you new?'' You nodded. ''Yeah, I'm fairly new to town, just moved here with my sister. I'm Julie,'' you introduced yourself, shaking his hand. ''Nice to meet you Julie. Where are you from originally?'' ''Oh, I'm from the other side of the country, small village, you would not know it. I moved here like a month ago so I'm still exploring it all here.''

Seonghwa nodded and smiled. ''Well I'd love to show you around and show you all the good places to go out, or the good restaurants? I don't know what you're into. Except for sex on the beach.'' He laughed again. He seemed like a really happy, sweet and content guy. 'What must that be like?' You thought to yourself.

''I do like the cocktail yes, it's far less disappointing than the actual thing. But uhm, I am a photographer so I need to find places that are good for shooting pics... I do nature and portraits mostly but I would also like to dabble in stuff for fashion... And I love spending time at the beach and in the water,'' you told him. You took a few sips from the cocktail, the fruity sweetness feeling like a reward after a sucky day like this. ''Well, I'm your man,'' he grinned, ''I grew up here! You should come with me for a tour through this town.''

You had a weird feeling about Seonghwa. Nothing bad, but there was a tingle you couldn't recognize. You smiled and nodded, agreeing with his offer. Lola told you to get out of your comfort zone, be it with friends, lovers or even complimenting a stranger. Why not go around the city with a guy you just met. What could possibly go wrong?

•⑅♡⑅•⑅♡⑅•⑅♡⑅•⑅♡⑅•

The answer is: absolutely nothing. You found Seonghwa to be a delight to be around. He told you everything about the city and showed you beautiful places to take pictures and you snapped some shots with your camera so you'd remember what it looked like. It could come in handy for later.

You had spend the entire day with him and when you laid in bed at night you couldn't get it out of your head, although you weren't sure why. Suddenly your phone beeped and you checked your message.

Seonghwa: Hey, I had a great time today :) Hope to see you again soon!!

You smiled widely, feeling happy and grateful that he enjoyed it too. Tears welled up in your eyes and you held your phone close to your chest as you took a deep breath. Someone liked you and wanted to hang out with you. You made a new friend. It was hard to see the positive things sometimes but Lola taught you to look at your goals and progress. You met someone new, you made a friend, and that is a good thing.

The next morning you were back in the park that Seonghwa took you to yesterday. You put on a flowery dress to fit into the scene because you were planning to shoot a few self-portraits too, because no matter how much you hated them you really were in need of recent pictures of yourself for your website, socials and artistic portfolio.

You were busy cleaning your lens when you suddenly felt something soft hit your ankle. ''Huh?'' You looked down and saw the fluffiest dog you had seen in your life, picking up the orange ball that had rolled your way. ''Peaches, baby, come here, let's not bother strangers. Peaaaches, listen to mama!'' The dog, assumably called Peaches barked and ran back to the woman running your way.

She seemed to be around your age and her dark curls bounced up and down as she ran downhill. ''Good boy,'' she chanted as Peaches gave her the ball he carried in his mouth. ''Sorry about him, he gets a little excited sometimes,'' the lady excused herself. ''Oh that's okay! I was only cleaning my lens, I wasn't taking a picture,'' you said with a smile.

''Ooh, that's a cool camera, you're a photographer?'' ''I am, have been for two years,'' you nodded. You hesitated a little but decided to ask anyways. ''I'm Juliette Taylor but most people call me Julie, could I maybe take a few pics of you and your dog? You two look so cute together!'' The woman seemed pleasantly surprised. ''Oh my gosh, thank you! I made an effort for my outfit today,'' she grinned, ''I'm going on a coffeedate with friends later. But yeah, sure! You can take pictures of us! I'm Mona by the way.''

Mona shook your hand and discussed the type of vibe you wanted to create in your pictures. You smiled as you watched her play with Peaches. The pictures turned out really well and you promised to send them to Mona when you edited them. She was about to take off again but she suddenly stopped in her tracks.

''Julie?''

You looked up and nodded, ''Yes?'' ''Would you like to come with me? You just told me you're new and all that and maybe it would be nice to meet some people from around here... It's just gonna be me and two other friends and I'm sure they'd love to meet you. Wanna tag along?'' ''N-Now..?'' You felt anxiety rise up but you remembered Lola's words. You had to get out of your comfort zone sometimes, you had to go out to start over.

''Yeah... Yeah I'd like that,'' you said. You packed your stuff back into your bag and walked with Mona. ''What's your story, Julie?'' Mona asked. You sighed and grinned a bit. ''It's a long story and a dramatic one. So the short version is I just moved here with my younger sister to start a new life.'' Mona nodded and smiled. ''Well a new life means a lot of new opportunities, right? Sounds like fun, starting over.'' You just smiled, knowing she meant well but there was nothing fun about starting over for you. But it was necessary.

Soon enough you reached the coffeeshop where Mona's friends were seated. The blonde girl waved you over, ''Mona, we're seated over here!'' ''Hi girls, I hope you don't mind but I just met a new friend! This is Julie, she is new in town so I figured I'd bring her! Julie, this is Mimi and that is Priya!''

You greeted the two other girls and sat next to Mona, across from Priya. ''Nice to meet you,'' she said kindly. Her style was classy but cool and she seemed like a real business lady. Her big brown eyes looked kind, wise and reassuring and you immediately felt comfortable at the table. Mimi, the blonde, was excited and bubbly, almost immediately asking all about your life.

Without any problem they adopted you into their little friendgroup - of course including Peaches too. You learned that the three of them grew up in the area and they went to school together. You loved how their different cultures brought them closer, they seemed to be so involved with and curious about one another and they listened carefully to your every word.

'''So, Julie, do you have a boyfriend or a girlfriend?'' Mimi asked, looking at you intently as she giggled and wiggled her eyebrows. You smiled softly and shook your head. ''I don't have a relationship but...'' ''Ooh, there's a but!'' Priya pointed out. ''Buuut... I did meet someone this week, this guy, his name is Seonghwa and we met in a bar and we hung out a whole day... We're not dating but I cannot say I... would not date him...?''

''Ooh, is he cute? Hot? Handsome? Tall?'' Mona asked. ''Oh he is all those things. But I doubt he'd like me romantically. Although...'' ''Ooh, there is an although!'' Priya pointed out yet again, making the other girls laugh. ''Althouuughhh... He did make a few sexy jokes because I was drinking a sex on the beach and I nearly dropped it all over his pants.'' ''Well, considering he is a guy and you're pretty hot, I am sure he's down for it, why not go for it?'' Mona asked. ''Nooo,'' you said, shaking your head. ''Oh come on, Julie~ You should totally try it, why not go for it?''

•⑅♡⑅•⑅♡⑅•⑅♡⑅•⑅♡⑅•

''Hi Julie, this is Seonghwa!'' ''Oh, hi there, how have you been?'' Wow, could you be any less enthusiastic? ''I've been good! So uhm, I was wondering if you're free tomorrow.'' ''Tomorrow? Yeah, I'm free, why?'' You could feel your heart beating loudly in your throat. ''Because I'd like to spend time with you, ofcourse. Any way, see you at three in the park?'' ''Yes, see you at thre-'' Beep. Beep. Beep.

Seonghwa must have been in a rush because he hung up the phone quickly. He also had sounded shaky and nervous, you noticed now. You wondered why, but tried to shake off the thought. You decided not to tell Lola about this one because she might get too excited over it and you didn't know if this was a romantic thing or not.

You did send a message to your new friend. They already put you in their little groupchat yesterday and they were talking all the time. You were happy to have found them because they were so great, supportive and fun to talk with. They immediately texted back about how excited they were for you.

The next day you had spent the entire day picking the perfect outfit, eventually deciding on a white summer dress and cute sneakers to go with it. When you arrived at the park you could already see him from afar sitting on a plaid, dressed in a blue button up shirt and white jeans. His smile was bright and his eyes twinkled again, this time in the sunlight. You waved and walked up to him.

''Hi, Seonghwa,'' you smiled as you sat beside him. '''Hey there, beautiful.'' He made you blush already, not even a minute in. Maybe this was a date after all? ''I don't know if you're on a diet or have allergies so I made a bunch of stuff so you'd have something to eat and drink,'' he said, showing off all the food and drinks he brought along, including vegetarian, vegan and even glutenfree snacks. You felt a stinging pain in your chest when you watched him talk about the food. You didn't know people could be so thoughtful and kind, you barely knew him and he was already going all out for you. You didn't deserve that, you thought.

The entire afternoon you ate, drank and talked, about your job, your sister and you also learned he's a primary school teacher at the school close to your house. He spoke passionately about his work and his friends. You sighed a little, feeling so small suddenly. It wasn't that he was doing or saying anything wrong. He was being amazing. But he reminded you that he's everything you're not.

He is bubbly while you get sad often. He is full of passion while you lost yours. His face contains beauty you never knew before. He was everything you wanted to be. It made you choke up a little, so you chose to only smile and nodd until you felt the heartache die down again.

''You're distracted,'' he notices. ''Right sorry,'' you nodded and apologized. ''It's okay, focus on me,'' he says, gently taking your hand. You looked him deep in his eyes and felt something spark inside your body. Seonghwa pulled you closer and pressed his lips against yours. Your body tensed up. Everything was moving so fast, so fast because you weren't sure why he was kissing you. Why was he kissing you? You met a few days ago and now he's kissing you? So many worries and thoughts flooded your brain but when Seonghwa deepened the kiss and held you close to his chest every single thought seemed to disappear.

You went blank and could only focus of the sensation of Seonghwa's lips and the tingling feeling inside your abdomen. When he ended the kiss he smiled widely and he held you as he kept talking to you for the rest of the afternoon. It was definitely a date.

•⑅♡⑅•⑅♡⑅•⑅♡⑅•⑅♡⑅•

''Lola, Lola please listen to me, he kissed me. He kissed me! He barely knows me. He doesn't know I am fucked up yet! I'm a mess and I'm a sad little bitch and he doesn't know it yet. Shouldn't he deserve to know that? What the hell do I do now?''

You were panicking, yelling into the speaker of your phone while your sister tried to shush you and calm you down. ''Okay, he kissed you and it felt good, tell me again why that is a big problem?'' ''Because good things are never good Lola! Everyone hurt me, everyone left me behind. I was so, so sure I was having a good relationship last year too but then he cheated on me with my best friend so what do I fucking know? And dad left, and mom's in rehab and you are like the only person I have left to keep me sane but I am damaged, Lola, I'm a mess!''

''Jeez, Julie. Calm your tits. If only you went to get help for your mental health like I told you to you wouldn't freak out so much. Just because you were hurt earlier doesn't mean Seonghwa will hurt you. And the kiss was good, right? You felt good? You felt sparkles? Well, give it a try then!''

''But... But what if I mess it up again?'' ''Darling, you were never the one messing stuff up. Everything happened to you. But do not let it hold you back any longer. Seize this opportunity, Julie, seize it. Go for it. Go out there. Make mistakes, because that's part of life but don't let the good moments in life scare you anymore. Dare to love. Dare to fall in love. It will be good to you, I promise. Maybe he is not the one, sure, but give it a shot. Give him a chance to be your romeo. Because Juliette does not need him, but she has a hell of a lot more fun with him.''

#kpop #ateez #shinestarhwaa #seonghwa #seonghwa x reader

[bearpillowmonster]

Virtue's Last Reward

In some ways it's better than 999 but in some it's worse. 

The characters are pretty memorable, I was afraid it'd be staler than the eccentric personalities of the first game but it remains. A plus is that our new main character, Sigma, doesn't talk. (Well, he does, but he has no audible dialogue so he's not as annoying.) It carries over that problem from the last one too where they overexplain things like it's a children's game but it's rated M otherwise. Visually, it switches the 2D sprites with 3D models, which can be considered a downgrade in some ways but it's easier to navigate the rooms though with proper 3D environments versus simulated for the DS (it's the 3DS now) but it's put on this nice collection on the PC so it looks smoother and cleaner.

The one complaint I have about the port in general is that it could've cut some things out. I imagine the transition scenes were made to mask loading screens but we don't need them anymore and they're more tedious than Resident Evil's. While not as often, they take longer because they'll go somewhere and it shows them as a blinking dot on the map and the route they're taking (not that it matters most of the time, when it does matter, they reiterate the sequence anyway) but they'll show them going across an entire floor, go to the elevator, stop, show them pressing the button, the elevator comes, wait for the elevator to descend, beep, open doors again, back to map, show them moving to their destination again, it's just meaningless. And there's a skip but it's only for stuff you've seen before (in any route) so it usually doesn't include the transitions and when it does, it needs to be activated before it starts because it doesn't give you the option during.

And also (...) they have a tendency to (...) whenever (...) there isn't anybody (...) saying anything and (...) they'll show it (...) for each character. There were some parts where my experience was an error but I couldn't find proof of others being that way. Gaulem Bay for example, there are rows of (nonspoiling here) "lights" that some are on and some are off and you use that pattern to activate a puzzle, however, mine spelled out something different than what it was supposed to, I double and triple checked in game even after I looked up the result and the same answer got back to me every time.

All that remained was the ending. Would I find the outcome better than the last one? Because the other one reached a little too far in terms of what you could've predicted with the face thing. Well...this ending isn't much better. I actually had this game pegged as "great", I even accepted as far as the Phi ending and would've given it a 3.5/5 but it was afterwards that reversed everything.

Literally. It's like Meet the Robinsons but not as a good thing. It takes the time to explain every aspect of it and it's boring, because it's a large infodump and exposition for the next entry in the series...as an ending. So yeah, it seems like it's going to be a complete package but it's not a complete story, while 999 was at least contained enough to seem satisfying. And I mean it really threw the kitchen sink at you too. It has the regular endings and then two hidden ones before credits roll but then two more after credits roll so it never really knows when to stop either. People complain about Kingdom Hearts but that's nothing, this is the real menace, overcomplicating and recontextualizing everything. Kingdom Hearts explains its way over a whole series of games, that's people's only problem and it's an outdated problem now that all the games can be bought in one package for the same system but imagine taking the plot and obscurities of those games and doing it all at once at the end of just one game. "Imagine a cat. Imagine a truck. Imagine a line. This is my name. This is my actual name. This is what I am. This is what I actually am. Let's review our history. Just use E = mc2. Imagine the relationship between classical mechanics and modern physics"....You think I'm joking? You think I just pulled all those out of my ass?!

So I don't think I'm going to play Zero Time Dilemma anymore.

#virtues last reward #zero escape #video game #review

[week-2-hands-on]

Scene 1

(We open inside a small well furnished studio apartment somewhere on the Northeast coast James walks in with his friend Sarah mid conversation)

Sarah (Smoking a cigarette): I'm telling you I love my baby but I hate my baby, he's kept me up for the past two days nonstop crying and does he stop for his dad? NO no he insists on being a mommas boy and needs me constantly

James(sits down on a chair at a small table): Sarah it's a baby of course it needs you constantly

Sarah: Are you calling my baby, Your Godson an it?

James: Him, him I mean him, it's only been two months of calling it Anthony and him instead of nine months of calling him....it you gotta give me some time

Sarah: yea well other than being a mommas boy he happens to loooove his god uncle so you're coming to dinner tonight so I can get some sleep, I made ziti.

James: Why can't Matt watch his stupid baby and eat your crappy ziti

Sarah: Your grandma taught me how to make this ziti and if she were here right now shed hold you down as I beat you with her old spoon and Matt has a job unlike his unemployed best friend

James: Matt has two unemployed best friends? is he bigger than me?

Sarah: Funny funny James but you don't have a choice in this one

James: what're you talking ab......you don't mean(Suddenly gets up) are you seriously consideri...

Sarah(interupting): that's right motherfucker I'm cashing one of the IOU's you gave Matt during college(hands IOU) and you've never disrespected an IOU

James: (sitting back down defeteadly) I don't even like children, do you see me with any children of my own?

Sarah: And the world thanks you for that now are you coming later tonight or not?

James: fine, and you better use fresh tomatoes in the ziti this time since im being forced against my will

Sarah: if I use a second one will you stop complaining?

James: Do what you gotta do

Sc2

(Open in a much larger much nicer house one a family would live in Sarah is cooking and we see James putting an infant in a crib to which it immediately starts crying and he picks it up and it stops)

James: Fuck me kid you are annoyingly clingy

Sarah: do not say fuck in front of my child asshole

James: (Talking to the baby) I'm sure you won't be after spending your time with mom though(whispering) especially when she fucks up the ziti again

Sarah: If you are whispering about the ziti again I swear ill cut your tongue out!(baby starts crying)

James: (to the baby) did big bad mommy scare you? that's ok uncle James is here and he won't let mommy fuck up the ziti for you and nonnas sake

Sarah: Dear god I can't believe I'm saying this but there's beer in the fridge and a television in the living room can't you just take the baby there and veg

James: and what kind of role model does that make me?

Sarah: the kind who gets to eat tonight

James: (walking off stage)Well Anthony you and I have some serious things on discovery channel to watch and learn about. your dad would never be able to explain it to you because you were made in a glass tube

Sarah: I'm sure Matt would beg to differ

James: haven't you heard of evidence?

Sarah: says the lawyer who's been out of practice for 3 years, go sit down with Anthony ill finish up dinner and then go to sleep, make sure he eats and gets burped every one and a half to two hours, Matt'll be home from his business trip early in the morning . If I have to wake up for this baby James I will kill you and they will never find the body ok?

James:Understood

[sanstropfremir]

hi!! i've been reading up on your blog for a while now, and i'm sorry if you've answered this before, but i've been wondering who in your opinion would be the top tier idol dancers nowadays? and maybe performers as well, since personally i think a skilled performer doesn't really have to be all that great of a dancer. thank u for sharing ur insights with us!! they're very interesting :]

hello!! i have sort of answered this before (don't worry it was almost a year ago) with my top dancers post, and there's also this post where i discuss which idol dancers could keep up with professionals, of which there is some obvious crossover. as far as active idols who are skilled performers not exclusive of dance ability (all of these people are good dancers though):

junsu, whom now has both years of idol performance AND musical theatre performance and it shows. i wish he hadn't dropped pit a pat at basically the same time as taemin dropped idea because it slipped my radar at the time but i genuinely do not want to shut up about the choreography because holy SHIT. key, because we all saw bad love. changmin, because if chocolate and being the other half of tvxq for ten years hasn't convinced anyone the horrible disarming preacher act of devil surely did. kahi and sunye, thank god for mamadol + wooah hip (kahi white sunye red) and giving them a second chance because i missed them and we need more active second gen idols. dawn, because money is one of my all time favourite performances from an idol and frankly all these new boys could stand for a little more weird victorian waif in their vibes (here's a live version). utterly predictably: hongjoong and san, and yes this is the point where i plug the only fancam ever. and also: donghun. i don't always expect much of a main vocal, especially in a performance heavy group but donghun always delivers no matter what he's doing, whether it's a dance cover (nirvana shirt) or just a vocal stage.

#i'd also put yonghoon and dongmyeong from onewe here but they're not technically idols #and i have to cut it off somewhere because even though i complain about model faces there are a lot of good performers out there #i feel like i miss people constantly bc my memory is trash #i could have also used maniac but devil is SO clearly a different and more subtle character for changmin so it's much more illustrative #even though maniac has more obvious bombast #i really should just make a tag of 'these are all my best/fave x' posts alskjdf #kpop questions #fave posts #literally how are we supposed to go on while donghun is enlisted. how. who is holding up the fourth gen vocals. #how many times have i linked the alexander moment? i don't even know at this point. those 40 secs are so fucking insane #he did that for NO ONE!!! THERE'S NO MAIN CAMERA ON HIM!!!!!! #again. i need to express. ALEXANDER EGOT WHEN #text #answers #i hope you had fun reading my backlog! i've tried organizing it but it probably could be better. i can't believe it's been a year now wtf

[chocominnie]

One Last Time 02  —  Pjm. (M)

⇢ pairing: Jimin X Reader

⇢ Genre: Idol!Jimin, Exbf!Jimin, model!reader, sad au, fluff, tons of smut, angst

⇢ Synopsis: Your idol ex boyfriend Jimin cheated on you. You two have been broken up for a while now and the media has been keeping track of you and him. You’re trying to get over him, but the things that happen inbetween makes you re-think the entire breakup, and so does Jimin…

⇢ Song : xxxxx

⇢ Previous : 00   01

⇢ Word Count : 

⇢ Warnings: dominant jimin, makeout sessions, this is honestly a sad angsty au, cheating, pregnancy, unprotected and protected sex, a bunch of sex, no really a LOT of sexual themes too, I know I’m forgetting some but sorry in advance!

⇢ Copyright: please do NOT repost, translate, or modify my works in any way, shape or form, on any platform. If found doing so , it is considered as plagiarism and appropriate LEGAL action will be taken

⇢ Authors note: This is my mini series for the summer! Get your tissues, things to take your anger out on, and sit back and watch the drama unfold. Shall we begin?

Your eyes shoot open, chest heaving heavily as you let out a blood curdling scream. Not this again. The same dream over and over again each night. It leaves you sleepless. The time on the clock on your nightstand reads 3:04 am. Just only four hours ago is when you fell asleep. But a full night’s sleep hasn’t happened for a year so why would it matter anyways.

Once you catch your breath you unplug your phone from the charger and read some of the notifications. From your window, the night-time critters sing their songs along with the persistant owl that’s somewhere around the apartment complex. You’d only noticed him, the owl, just a few months ago when your cat started meowing with his hoots. 

A missed call from your uncle. 

Immediately you unlock your phone and dial the number. Bringing your index finger to your mouth you gently nip on it waiting for it to answer, The rings are agonizing to you. If something has happened you only wish and pray it wasn’t as bad as you think. He’s the only parental figure left in your life.

‘‘ Princess! Hello I was just calling to speak to you earlier. But I realized you are five hours ahead of me and you had probably went to sleep.’‘

His soothing voice calms your emotions making you let out a tiny breath of air. Thank god.

‘’Hey Charlie.” You sigh. Looking towards your left, you spot Clara purring quietly next to you. You can’t help but to smile while bringing a hand over to rub her head with your thumb.  She’s so small under the shining moonlight from your window.

Her white coat shines brightly amongst her, making you remember the first night you had brought her home. All she did was sleep, and it worried you because you had no prior expierence caring for anything, let alone a small animal. Clara only drank kitten milk and slept back then. Occasionally being awake enough to nip at your fingers whenever you pet or touched her.

Now she’s a bit bigger and walks around the apartment like she owns the place. Quite the little attitude she has, but its too damn cute for you to scold her whenever she does something wrong. 

“ Yes I did fall asleep from after a gathering at someone’s house.’’ You continue on, bringing your knees to your chest after opening the curtain of your window fully.

The moons brightness illuminates the entire room, but not so bright for you to complain though. ‘’ Oh- was it Jimin’s? Tell him I said hell-’’

You bite your lip hard at his name. He doesn’t know and you wont even dare to let him know. Knowing him, your uncle would have a fit and oppose to come back to Seoul to ‘set the record straight.’ to Jimin. That’s the last thing you want to do, cause trouble.

‘‘ It was his brother’s house warming party.” You say, lowering your tone in your voice. You look at the nightstand for a couple of seconds just before opening the top drawer of the wooden, polished piece. Your hands shakily pull out a picture of you two together.

It was taken at  Marne-la-Vallée, France right infront of Cinderella’s castle. That was the day that you and Jimin had to went to Disneyland in Paris, France. You cant help but to think, with the picture in hand, that it was one of the best nights ever. It was also the same night your virginity was taken.

‘‘ Oh.. I know that tone. Are you two arguing at the moment.”

You shrug, “ I mean you could say that.’’

No you cant.

‘‘ Alright alright I won’t talk more of him. Let’s change the subject.” He chuckles deeply into the phone.

‘‘ How’s Europe? Anything new happening on base?”

‘‘ Same old Same old. It’s been what? 2 years since I’ve left Seoul? The food is different over here. They don’t have kimchi pancakes sadly.”

You can only imagine the frowny face he makes at you whenever he doesn’t approve or like something. It always turns out to be funny.

You giggle into the phone shaking your head slightly, “ Of course. You are in Europe Charlie. Where are you getting food from anyway if you are on base?’’

‘‘ I can go off base to a certain mileage when I am off duty. I just have to report back in time. But you do know that you can always come live on base with me...’ He trails off.

Oh boy. Here he goes. He’s always talking about moving you on base with him. Hell, he’s been talking about it since before he had to go to be based in Europe. By then you were twenty years old and old enough to live by yourself. Growing up in Daegu, Korea since you were six, you felt as if Korea was home to you and you definately weren’t ready to leave yet.

Especially, after losing your parents here. Around eight years old, your aunt and mother were on the way to pick up your father from the airport. With your mom and dad also being military and based in Korea with your dad’s bestfriend, your uncle Charlie, your father had been called to take military leave to go and be based in Korea for the National Guard.

On the way back from the airport, a drunk driver had struck the car knocking them off the road and colliding head first into the railing of the bridge. All bodies were reported dead upon collision, including your aunt. Charlie didn’t take the news well at all, and so did you. Only eight years old and still a bit new to a foreign country. It was devistating for you and Charlie. Charlie did what was right and stepped up to be your legal guardian while taking some time off from the military. Till this day, he treats you like his sacred little daughter and you can’t ask for anyone better than him.

 “You are old enough to live on your own and housing is avail-”

You jump at his voice on the line again, being too spaced out from the tragic memory. Before he can go on any longer you cut him off. ‘‘ Im fine with the apartment you left me. Im paying the bills on time and taking good care of it.”

‘‘ Alright fine. But that option is always available you hear me? I will always be ready for you to come with me.’’

‘‘ Okay Charlie” You groan.

‘‘ Alright.. sweetie it’s getting late on this side and it’s already 3 am on your side. Get some sleep okay? Don’t you have a model shoot thingy or something? You have those a lot.’‘

‘‘ Yes i actually do in a couple of hours. It’s been a while since I’ve did a shoot. Please eat and sleep well. Don’t injure yourself.’‘

‘‘ I promise. You promise to do the same right?’‘ He says, rustling movements are in the background.

‘‘ Yes I promise. Good night sleep tight..’‘ You smile as you wait for him to finish the rest.

He chuckles one last time on the other end, ‘‘I’ll always love you, goodnight‘’

Beep Beep Beep

You in a racy light pink lingerie with white duvets and sheets is the concept of your comeback. It’s supposed to symbolize the “Night After’’. Camera’s click and directors yell and praise you in your subtle yet damaging moves and facial expressions. You want.. no need for this comeback to be successful. Not only did your manager schedule this, but she is making sure that they release this same very day.

Nobody in this company’s industry has ever did this before. But you, you are sort of the special one. The special foreigner as they say. It’s not like you don’t like it but you don’t like that they label you as that. Stylists, employee’s hell even anybody who works there treat you as a princess. It’s not bad, but it’s just weird.

‘‘ One last one. Give me a sexy yet innocent look mama.’‘ Elliot, the director says, smiling wide at you.

You slip a finger into your mouth and do a little pout with your lips.

Elliot busts out into a roar of happiness with his hands clapping furiously. ‘‘That’s it mama yes! That’s just what we needed!’‘

Adjusting his microphone earpiece, he turns around to greet and thank everyone, ‘‘ Alright everybody this concludes our shooting! You all worked so hard today. Make it home safe, eat well.’‘

Finally. You sigh out in relief and close your eyes. It’s been a long day. Almost 6 hours of shooting. Three Videos, and five swap outfits for each session of shooting for the ‘’ Night After’’.  As everyone heads out and starts cleaning up you bow your head slightly and thank them.

A stylist brings you a satin robe to cover yourself in. You thank her and put it on just before getting up from the bed and walking towards wardrobe. Once you are done putting on your clothes, your manager leads you straight out the exit. Outside awaits the car that drives you everywhere. Literally everywhere.

‘‘ Tomorrow somebody has put in a special request for you to appear as the main lead girl in their music video. It’s short notice and I told them I would have to bump some things around and notify you. But they are paying us and you good money to be in it.’‘

Money? Sounds like a plan.

‘‘ It’s fine. Who am I shooting for?’‘ You say, fluffing your hair just a little while inspecting yourself in the rear view mirror.

Your makeup is still intact with no ruins and the contacts they had given you suited you very well. A hazel with a slight bit of teal. Suddenly the car moves off into the busy streets of Seoul. You can’t help but to notice every couple that walks along the sidewalks. They seem so happy, glad to be around each other.

On the floor of the car lies your little mini backpack filled with all of your items and belongings. Picking it up, you begin to dig through it looking for some hand lotion to soothe your semi-dry hands. Once you find it you gently start to squeeze the tube.

‘‘ Kim Namjoon.’‘

You freeze. Namjoon? The same Namjoon from the group? Joonie? It’s been well… a year since you’ve seen him in person. Hell since you’ve seen all of Bangtan Sonyeondan together. Except for lastnight when Hoseok and.. that guy showed up.

You sigh already knowing the answer from the question you are about to ask.

‘‘ From…?’‘ You ask then put the lotion back in your bag. Slowly you rub your hands together to moisturize.

Your manager quickly flips through the daily planner, ‘‘ Bangtan Sonyeodan but this is for one of his mixtape songs.’‘

Thank goodness.

‘‘ That’s fine. What time will the car be arriving tomorrow?’‘

‘‘ 8 am on the dot. You need to be there by 8:30. I’ll be tending to one of my other models tomorrow so you will be alone. I can send som-’‘

‘‘ No no it’s truly okay. I know how to manage things myself. Besides, I learn from you.’‘ You reassure her with one of your winning smiles, laying your head on her shoulder.

‘‘ Aigoo what am I going to do with you?’‘

The day ends very well. The movies you’ve been watching have kept you occupied. But not occupied enough for you to keep crying at all the sad parts in the chick flicks. Breakups, someone had died, someone had even just spilled something onto the floor and that was enough to send you into tears.Only because when the main lead boy rushed to help clean it up, it reminded you of Jimin last-night helping Isabel.

‘’What is going on with myself.’’ You blow your nose into a tissue for what seemed like the thousandth time today. Clara lets out one of her meows beside you then goes back to grooming herself.

You place her onto your lap and begin to run your fingers through her fur over and over again. Such a soothing effect to you as you stare into space sulking in your thoughts.

Why is it that you weren’t enough for him? Why is it that every single little thing reminds you of him? You gave him your all and he gave you his but what happened? Where did you go wrong? Cooked, cleaned, satisfied his needs. You guys had even started to plan out what you wanted out of a family. When you wanted a baby and what you would name it. It was fun. The whole relationship was fun. Right until that scandal.

Ding.. Ding.. Ding.. DI-

You unlock your phone immediately to stop that annoying dinging noise. Not surprisingly it’s a text from Jeon Jungkook.

Kookie : Im coming over I’ll be there in exactly 3 minutes.

Kookie: Don’t think about leaving either.

Kookie: Im bringing someone with me.

Kookie: We need to have a serious talk babycheeks.

You roll your eyes at the nickname he’s given you. No matter how many times you tell him you want him to change it, he declines. There’s no point in asking anymore.

Why would he want to talk anyways and who is the person he’s bringing. Eh.. it might just be Ryan they seem to do everything together as a team.

As soon as you step foot out of your bed the sound the door clicking makes your head shoot up. How in the living hell does he know the password to your house? Rage takes over you. That’s something that you hate. When people invade your personal space. In this case, personal home.

‘‘ Jeon fucking Jungkook!’‘ You scream, abruptly stomping your feet all the way to and out your bedroom door. Suddenly you stop at the sight of the two faces staring back at you.

Jungkook’s expression holds a concerned yet upset face while the other just stands there calm and cool. But you on the other hand are way besides that level.

Your eyes must be filled with rage and the expression on your face is no good. How dare he disrespect you like that? Bringing him into your home, knowing the bad blood between you two. Oh, they both have something coming towards them. You begin to walk to them again making each step make the floor shake.

‘‘ Get out. Both of you. One you invade my personal private home..’‘

You grab both boys by their collars, making sure to grip the one on the right’s harder than usual. ‘‘ Two, you fucking invite him over here.’‘ You drag each of them towards the exit. Which is going good until Jungkook rips your hands away from his shirt and takes you over his shoulder.

You’ve had enough of him and his invasive ways. Pounding on his back with your fists, you make sure to scream into his ear. “ Put me the fuck down Jeon Jungko-”

You hiss at the stinging sensation on your ass. Did he just? Jimin stands there awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck. You make sure to make eye contact with him and roll your eyes. Something that always had and will piss him off.

‘‘ Hush. I told you all of us needed to have a deep talk about you.’‘

Jungkook plops your frail body onto one side of the couch in which he sits next to you. He motions for Jimin to come sit across from the both of you but you aren’t having it.

‘‘ Don’t you do it.” You glare at him. Jungkook sighs harshly only to pluck your forehead two times. You whine and rub it with your index and middle finger.

Jungkook shakes his head in disapproval, ‘‘ When are you ever going to learn? Jimin sit down now.”

‘‘ Truthfully.. I feel as though I shouldn’t be here so-”

“ Good. Get out you are unwanted.” You snap back causing him to give you one of his long stares with no facial expression at all.

Jungkook glares at you just before getting up to throw his hands in the air full of disappointment. “ Enough! “

Yelling. Something else you don’t like to hear being done at yourself. You finally sit still and quite avoiding any eye contact with the both of them.

He sits back down and clears his throat. Jungkook gives Jimin a look before continuing on.

‘‘ I gathered us here to talk about you..”

‘‘ Why. Im fine. How many times do I have to say it. Im fine im fine im fine im fucking fine!’‘ You exclaim, getting more mad by the second. When will people accept this?

‘‘ Baby.. ’‘

Your eyes shoot up to him and his soft voice. You didn’t want to but you did because his voice to you is like candy that melts into your mouth.

‘‘ Don’t call me that. You have a girlfriend at-least be loyal to her rather than what you did to me.’‘

‘‘ Fuck is anybody going to just sit here and listen? Can we at-least get to the source of the problem? Huh?’‘ Jungkook leans back into the couch clearly pissed by your attitude.

Jimin’s the first to speak and holds a firm eye contact with you, almost daring you to break away from it.

‘‘ Fine. Im just going to cut straight to it then. Why are you so jealous? You aren’t okay at all. I seen the way you looked at us yesterday. You wanted to break down so bad but you didn’t. It looks like you’ve been dropping weight day by day why aren’t you eating well?’’

You’re taken a-back by his jealous comment. Although you are you just cannot admit it. You are jealous. You do want him back. You cant bear to see him with another girl but you. But the fact that Jimin is concerned makes you really hope. Just hope that there is something left of you still in his heart.

‘‘ Jealous? Jealous tuh.” You scoff, leaning into Jungkook’s arms where you rest his head on your chest. You only do this just to see Jimin’s reaction and by the look on his face he doesn’t enjoy that move one bit.

‘‘ Yes jealous. I mean why else would you put almond extra-

‘‘ Woah. No need to go there. We established that it was a so called accident lastnight.” Jungkook does finger quotes into the air and looks down at you.

You lift your head up and furrow your eyebrows in annoyance, “ So called? So you really believe that I did it on purpose. Wow Jungkook. Escort yourself out.’’

He sighs, wrapping his arms around you securly in hopes of you settling down a  little, “ Honestly it’s not like that. I wasn’t there to see you bake them nor was I watching her eat it. Im just saying that you knew Jimin was coming and obviously his girlfriend was going to come too. It’s a little sketchy is all.”

There’s no fixing what he said. Him adding onto his explanation just made things sound worse than what he’s trying to say. You don’t have time to be ganged up on, nor like it at all. It’s best if they both just leave, to not turn nothing into something.

‘‘ Get out. Now. Before I call and tell Ryan what you said and then she’ll definitely deal with you.’‘ You say, removing yourself from off of him and onto the other side of the couch with your legs crossed.

Mad isn’t even the word to describe yourself right now. You’re just a mixture of all emotions.

Jungkook now looks of sorriness written all over his face. You bite your lip and shake your head while pointing towards the door. He sighs heavily and takes one last look at you while removing himself from the couch. You watch him slip on his coat and shoes.

Jimin gets up from his spot on the couch, ‘‘ I’ll be leav-”

‘‘ Sit down we aren’t done talking.” 

He looks at you with his eyebrows furrowed, sitting back down slowly.

Jungkook keeps his head down as he wraps his blue scarf around his neck. Poor baby, but he shouldn’t of said it. “Please better yourself and talk it out with each-other. Im leaving.”

‘‘ Make it home safely.. Kookie.” You sigh once the door closes behind him. Now you’re here. Face to face with Park Jimin.

The same Jimin who cheated on you. The same Jimin you haven’t seen in a while. You take a few moments to take in his appearance. He seems to have re-gained his muscles that are peaking through his black, longsleeve shirt. His thighs are still thick, just like his luscious lips. Of course he changed his hair color to black. But who knows, he might change it again.

‘‘ You’ve been doing well?’‘ You say, voice low but enough for him to hear. You drop your eyes to your lap instead of keeping intact with his.

‘‘ Yes. But you have not. Im disappointed in you. Why are you doing this to yourself? Don’t do this because of me.”

‘‘ Jimin you don’t know the feeling. You don’t know how it feels to be left wondering why you weren’t good enough for someone. Why they had cheated on you. You don’t understand at all and wont ever.’‘ Your voice cracks on the last sentence and you an feel the lump in your throat become sore.

He bites his lip unsure of what to say next. Those words had hit him good inside. ‘‘ Im sorry. I truly am. But you know the reason why we had to end it. I fucked up bad and the media was making the scandal bigger and messier day by day. It was better to just call it off.’‘

One by one your tears start to drop. You nose begins it’s running trip but you sniffle it back up.

‘‘ You could of denied it. You know you could of made a statement and denied it. But you felt something for her didn’t you? Didn’t you?’‘ You semi-yell, sobs already starting to take it’s way over.

He bites his lip once again and ruffles his fingers through his hair, “ Baby..’’

You wipe your tears with your hands making your face even more puffy from the crying. “ I am jealous. I am I admit it Jimin. But do you know i have been suffering for one year and two months? I can’t sleep at night because im so used to your touch at night. I look at every couple in Seoul and think to myself, Dang they seem so happy. What’s their secret?’’

Jimin sits up, making eye contact with you with tears welling up into his eyes. It hurt’s you more than yourself to see him crying. It always has.

‘‘ Please don’t do that. Don’t do this to yourself. Please get help from someone to try and move on. Please. I don’t like to see or hear you make yourself suffer.’ He begs, getting up from his seat and coming towards you.

Jimin sits next to you, hesitantly opening his arms up to you. Would it be wrong to embrace him? He’s being too sincere, but thats what you want right? You decide to just do it, and lean into him only for him to pull you in closer into his chest.You just lay there crying and sobbing while he runs his fingers through your hair. You shouldn’t be doing this. He has a girlfriend. But it feels so right.

‘‘ What does she have that I don’t? Why couldn’t you love me the same way you love her “  You cry into his chest, soaking his shirt with your tears. 

You’d been waiting for this moment to just let it out. Let everything out.

‘’ Please don’t make this harder than what it is right now. Just try and forget me and move on. Please.” Hypocritcal. How does he expect you to get over him when he’s the one whos holding you so tight right now. Soon enough his sniffles join yours in harmony.

You raise your head up and look him deep into the eyes while you wipe away his tears, “ Don’t cry Jimin. I’m the one supposed to be crying over you. Don’t cry.’’

He takes your hand away from his face and wraps his fist ontop of yours, “Please promise me you will move on okay?’’

You shake your head no, “ I can’t make that promise.”

He doesn’t say anything. He gently cradles you in his arms and lifts you up. You don’t think to where he is going. You just close your eyes and grab onto his shirt firmly not wanting to let go.

Soon enough you feel the cold sheets over your bed. He covers you in the duvet and leans down to your forehead.  A kiss. Your fist is still locked onto his shirt in which he tries to pry it away but you don’t want to let him go. He sighs and raises his arms up as he takes off the shirt revealing an extra plain white wife beater under it. Taking your other hand, he wraps your hand into another fist onto the shirt to where both of your hands are holding onto it.

‘‘ Please better yourself for me baby. Sleep and eat well. “

Is all he says before turning off the lights and walking out your bedroom door.  You can hear him putting on and zipping up his heavy coat but you just don’t make a sound.

The apartment door clicks and beeps letting you know he’s already gone.

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[troquantary]

Cutting Hair as Punishment in the Twilight Saga

Okay, I’ve been trying to organize my thoughts around this into a sort-of-essay format for a while, because I find it disturbingly mean-spirited: Meyer has a pattern of using hair-cutting as a form of punishment for characters, especially female characters, who fail to embrace Bella and the Cullens with open arms. I’m talking particularly about Leah and Lauren, both of whom, while not outright antagonists like Victoria or James, are situated along with Rosalie as “against” Bella throughout the series. The Quileute pack, meanwhile, is situated largely “against” the Cullens, meaning Jacob and the rest of the pack get the Haircut of Shame, too.

(Also, I’ve been creeping through @panlight ‘s blog because I thought she had a recent post relating to this -- I was probably thinking of this submission and her addendum, which does discuss Meyer’s “punishment” of certain characters, but that post was about characters suffering for not waiting for True Love, or daring to do the Devil’s Tango before marriage. Still, it’s on-theme and very much worth reading, like all her stuff!)

So here’s the general outline: first I’m gonna talk about the shapeshifters and how their overall lack of choice frames cutting their hair as something forced on them and therefore punitive. Then I’m going to discuss Meyer’s FAQ response where she reveals that Lauren was tricked into cutting off most of her hair over the summer before New Moon, and how this adds an extra fun misogynistic element to the hair-cutting theme with respect to Lauren and Leah. I also use way too many words to do it, sorry.

Punishment | The Shapeshifters Are Given No Other Option

I don’t have the background or knowledge to discuss the significance of long hair to indigenous culture and identity in detail, and my understanding is that different tribes ascribe different meanings to it. What I’ve read it about it suggests that, generally, long hair represents strength of one’s individual spirit and of the community. It’s a source of pride, and is only cut off voluntarily in extraordinary circumstances, often as an expression of grief, or to mark a significant life change.

This sort of works in the context of the shapeshifters all cutting their hair -- phasing into a giant wolf, discovering the existence of the supernatural, and assuming the role of protectors is a major life event for these characters. But the negative associations make it a troubling choice on Meyer’s part, and that’s without even getting into the problem of her imposing her own worldbuilding onto the legends and culture of a real tribe. Because of the lack of choice involved in becoming a shapeshifter, the whole situation feels like a scenario in which the Quileute characters have their hair forcibly cut -- a degrading and traumatic act that (depending on their particular tribal belief) might symbolically sever them from their sense of cultural identity and connection with the rest of their tribe.

It all kind of begs the question: why does Meyer even have shapeshifting work this way? What narrative utility is there in having the length of their hair in human form determine the length of their fur as wolves, thereby compelling the shapeshifters to cut it so it isn’t a physical impediment? It’s another sign of the changes in Jacob, sure, but he’s already being uncharacteristically cold and distant, plus suddenly has the physique of a fit twenty-five-year-old; Bella already knows something’s very wrong. His short hair is just another jarring thing for Bella to notice and mourn, like the loss of Jacob’s “baby face” and general sunniness.

It does work as a symbolic thing, representing another sacrifice Jacob has to make and the change in how he now has to perceive himself -- but he’s already got a literal giant wolf form to represent that change in identity/self-perception. Forcing him to cut his hair too just feels like piling on. My argument here, which I hope will be supported when I discuss Lauren and Leah further in, is that it’s not just piling on, but actively punitive -- because much like Leah and Lauren are “against” Bella, the pack at large is “against” the Cullens pretty much through the end of the series.

The Quileute pack is definitely not a Cullen fanclub. The entire purpose of their existence is to destroy vampires, and the truce they have with the Cullens isn’t friendly. They still don’t particularly like or trust the Cullens even after allying with them in Eclipse, and in Breaking Dawn Sam is fully prepared to go to war against them to enforce the treaty. Bella expresses frustration with Jacob and the pack for not appreciating the Cullens more, yet is curiously less willing to scold Alice, Edward, or Rosalie when they call the Quileutes dogs and complain about their smell. (I think she might reprimand Edward for it at some point, but I don’t remember the exact passage.) Bella even starts throwing around “dog” and “mutt” as an insult herself -- I think we know whose side ol’ “Switzerland” is on, here, and whose side Meyer is on as well. The Quileutes aren’t exactly enemies, and in fact are crucial to the Cullens’ survival in both the newborn and Volutri conflicts, but they’re punished nonetheless because they aren’t wholeheartedly Team Cullen from the get-go.

So to explain why I’m so convinced that there’s a link between hair-cutting and punishment in particular, let’s talk about Lauren. There’s a definite gendered element to it this time, too -- by being tricked into cutting her hair, Lauren isn’t just diminished/shamed, but rendered (*thunderclap*) unfeminine.

Lauren Was Rude To Bella Like Twice, Let’s Humiliate Her

I think Meyer’s answer to the question “What happened to Lauren’s hair?” on her FAQ page speaks for itself:

Ha ha. I had fun imagining this one—I only wished that it had fit into the book somewhere. Lauren fell victim to the “model discovered in the mall” scam. An alleged modeling agent approached Lauren in a mall in Victoria, B.C., and told her she was a natural model. Lauren ate it up. The agent told her that if she did something edgy with her hair, and took some high quality head shots, her future was assured. Lauren followed the instructions—dropping fifteen grand on the pictures taken by the agent’s partner—and waited for her career to begin. She’s still waiting. Snort.

It’s pretty obvious that this was done spitefully. Here’s the list of Lauren’s crimes against humanity Bella at this point in the series: 1) she was jealous of the attention Bella was getting as the new girl; 2) she talked behind Bella’s back once, saying Bella might as well just sit with the Cullens now (and she isn’t wrong); 3) she eyed Bella “scornfully” the day of the La Push beach trip; and perhaps most damningly, 4) she’s blonde.

Post-haircut, she has the gall not to be thrilled that Bella’s deigning to speak to the lowly non-Cullens again, then sides with Jessica after Bella uses Jessica to make a point to her dad, is shitty company, and then risks getting them both raped and murdered in Port Angeles so she could get off on her hallucination of Edward’s voice.

I think it’s pretty common knowledge that long hair is tied to patriarchal notions of femininity and attractiveness. Women with short hair are still derided for being ugly, or assumed to be lesbians in a derogatory sense, or simply considered less feminine and therefore less desirable/worthy (because a woman’s worth depends on her desirability, after all). For many women and girls, losing their long hair -- whether because of illness, or gum getting stuck in it, or whatever -- is very upsetting and a hard blow to their self-esteem. Just look at Alice as an example of Traumatic Short Hair; her hair was shorn like that because she received electroshock “treatments” in an asylum. (Although in Alice’s case, I don’t think her having short hair is punishment, but a facet of the traumatic backstory all female characters in Twilight have to have for some reason. Plus, she started the series with short hair, which distinguishes her from the pack and Lauren, who were tricked or compelled into cutting their long hair during the series.)

But Lauren’s so bitchy, so she deserves it, right? Ha ha, she was mean to Bella and cared about her appearance too much, so now she’s ~ugly!

Leah Has It the Worst and It Makes Me Want To Burn Everything

The misogynistic aspect of hair-cutting as punishment is taken up to like, twelve with Leah. Not only does she suffer for being “against” the Cullens along with the rest of the pack (and Bella, too, so extra sinning), but she suffers uniquely for being the only female shapeshifter. A bunch of teenage boys regularly see her naked body against her will. Her previously devoted boyfriend imprints on her cousin/best friend, Sam dumps her and can’t even explain why, and the whole pack -- including her own brother -- resents her for being upset about it, even though she can’t help the lack of mental privacy. Because of that same lack of mental privacy, she has to hear every gripe the boys have about her, plus every enthralled thought Sam has about Emily while she’s still deeply wounded by their breakup.

She blames herself for her dad’s death, because she phased at the wrong time. We don’t get any indication that her fellow shapeshifters or the elders are trying to reassure her otherwise.

And of course, because she’s a shapeshifter, she has to cut her hair. In addition, because Leah’s a woman, this has the same misogynistic connotations as it did with Lauren. In Leah’s case, though, the de-feminization is compounded by her sudden infertility. It’s clear that Leah attaches her sense of womanhood to her fertility, rightly or wrongly -- she bitterly calls herself a “genetic dead end” in Breaking Dawn and thinks of herself as a freak. She feels like there must be something wrong with her, some un-womanly flaw, that made her one of the shapeshifters at all.

Then, just when Jacob starts to see her as a human being worthy of compassion, he imprints on Renesmee and doesn’t give a shit about anyone or anything else anymore. No more bonding with Leah, no blooming friendship to help her heal and come to terms with the new realities of her life. (This is one of those dropped threads that aggravate me to no end -- what was the point of having Leah opening up to Jacob, or starting Jacob on the path of realizing he was being a dick to her this whole time and that she’s a person with  value, if he was just going to spend the rest of the book as Renesmee’s love-zombie and never think about it again? Disgusting.)

Leah was a lot more forgiving of Jacob than he deserved at that point in the story, for all the good it did her -- I think she’s mentioned maybe once in Book 3 of Breaking Dawn. At least she got her god-tier moment of yelling at a deranged, pregnant Bella Swan.

Speaking of Bella...

I’m just going to note, for no particular reason, that in Breaking Dawn we get to hear explicitly that Bella’s got hair that falls “almost to her waist” and that she looks like “a freaking supermodel” because she’s so “beautiful and pale.” It just strikes me as a telling contrast at this point.

#twilight renaissance #i stared too long and the twilight abyss gazed back #leah clearwater #lauren mallory #jacob black #the wolf pack #long post #i felt myself getting petty about bella okay -- i'm aware it's happening but i have no self control #i also know i sidestepped the racial element to this and it's because i don't feel qualified to speak on it #so any additions from more knowledgeable people on that score are much appreciated

[lumosinlove]

Relic Keel

(warnings in tags)

PREVIOUSLY ON RELIC KEEL

Marlene got into college and hasn’t told Dorcas because she’s scared of how she will react.

Lily and James had sex and obviously like each other, but Lily is scared to have attachments on Hogwarts when they’re going to college soon.

Leo and Logan question each other about their pasts without much progress. Logan finds out that Leo hopes to own The Lion restaurant one day, and that his father’s death has something to do with “The Voldemort.”

Saint and Sirius talk about leaving the island and how they met when they were eleven years old. They have sex and avoid more difficult topics.

James and Lily meet at the Gryffindor Club as promised. Lily tells James that she doesn’t want anything tying her to the island, that she hates the fake boundaries that Hogwarts has and that James isn’t crossing them as much as he thinks he is. James understands, even though it hurts.

Saint and Sirius are cleaning the Potter’s pool when James arrives with Remus and Luke. Remus and Sirius have a tense moment in the kitchen, Luke and Saint argue, and Sirius finds out that it’s Remus who sails the Wolfsbane every morning—Remus thus finding out that Sirius notices.

Logan returns to the Carrows to hand over his money and stock up on Crucio. We find out that he works for them in the hopes that they will help him get Finn out of Saint Clair, only the Carrows are angry with him for using their Crucio—they say that Logan owes them now.

Logan heads over to Saint Clair to watch Finn from afar, and swears again that he will rescue him.

part iv

Remus closed his eyes, soaking in the morning sun and the salty air. The wind pushed his hair back as he tightened the rigging, catching the wind. Sometimes his sails felt like his bare hands. Like he finally had something to hold onto, even if it blistered his palms. The sea made him feel alone, in the best way. Usually, it felt like people were always around. He couldn’t go anywhere without running into at least two people from school, or his parents’ friends. Yes, he’s excited for college, no, he’s not sure exactly yet, yes, he’s still sailing, yes, he’s still obsessed, yes, he remembers learning at Gryffindor Club, sure, I’ll tell my mom you say hi.

Solidarity was less exhausting.

The wind buffered and he sighed as he slowed down. he looked back towards Shack Beach. Saint had said they saw him every morning—that Sirius saw him every morning. He wondered if Sirius was watching now.

He couldn’t see anything from this far away. Part of him wondered if he could make this island disappear completely, just for a moment. But it was dangerous to stray that far. Even The Cradle, the small U of islands just off of Hogwarts’ southern coast, was pushing it. Remus huffed out a laugh as he managed the ropes to come about, back towards shore. If that wasn’t a metaphor, he didn’t know what was.

Things on Hogwarts had become complicated in what felt like overnight, even though Remus knew that wasn’t true. They were older now. They didn’t just care about summer vacation. There was college to think about, and then jobs. Hogwarts wasn’t the dream it once was. Remus wanted to see mountains, and huge cities, or snow—and not just for a week on vacation. He wanted to belong somewhere because he wanted to be there, and not just because he had grown up there. He was tired of knowing everything there was to know.

He tied up his Wolfsbane on autopilot, stroking his hand over the side before tugging his shirt over his head and jumping straight into the water. It was cooler from the night, but it was what Remus needed. He held his breath as he found the sandy bottom, his eyes closed. For a moment, he didn’t have to be anywhere. He got to enjoy the ocean and its predictable changes.

When he came up for air, he remembered why he loved this island. That still didn’t mean he didn’t want to leave.

“Are you headed to the museum, sweetheart?” his mother said when Remus came down to the kitchen, freshly showered. He preferred to let the salt linger all day, but he figured he should be fresh for his first day of work.

“Yeah,” Remus held up his keys. “Just looking for some coffee first.”

His mom held up a mug for him, laughing. “Ask and you shall receive.”

Remus smiled. “Thanks, mom.”

“How was it this morning?”

Remus poured some milk into his cup. “It was good. Sun’s going to be strong today. Went near The Cradle—not too far, don’t worry.”

“You know me too well,” Hope laughed, whisking some eggs into a lather. “Well, it’s pizza night. We’re ordering in so, if you want to have some friends over and take it to the den, that’s fine with me. But don’t complain if Jules crashes the party.”

Remus nodded. “Actually, I think we’re going out. If that’s all right?”

Hope nodded. “All right, sure. Be safe, though. Who, uh…”

“James and Luke,” Remus sighed. “Mom—”

“I wasn’t going to say anything—”

“It’s not Luke’s fault,” Remus continued anyway. “His dad, I mean. He didn’t know.”

“I know that,” Hope sighed. “But…Even I can see that boy’s hurting and I barely see him at all.”

“Then shouldn’t he be with his friends?” Remus said.

Hope raised her eyebrows at him, and Remus raised his own right back.

“All right, all right,” Hope said. “You’re gonna be late, I’ll see you later, baby.”

Remus knew he should take the car his parents had given him. He knew he should get used to driving, knew his dad wondered why it just sat in the garage. But here, on the island, Remus liked his bicycle. He liked the warm breeze. It reminded him of being out on the water.

Which, in turn, now reminded him of Sirius Black.

When Remus remembered Sirius, he mostly remembered bruised cheeks and nasty looking cuts. He remembered the hushed way people used to whisper about him, and how, even when he was loud, grinning and well-liked, he was still from Salazar. Sometimes he had eaten lunch surrounded by people, and sometimes he had eaten it alone with his brother.

Remus didn’t understand this island. Was Sirius really so different because he was born a few miles South rather than North? It made no sense—only it did, but only because it was all Remus had ever known.

The Hogwarts History Museum was a pride of the island. Remus knew it well from school trips, and from his own interest. He’d spent many Saturdays there as a kid, gazing at all of the small models of ships and dreaming about what it would be like to sail them, wishing they weren’t trapped behind glass—feeling a little like he was trapped behind glass. A ship in a bottle.

“Hi there, Remus,” Layla smiled at him, green eyes kind and skin a rich, dark brown against the pale pink scarf in her hair.

“Hi, Layla,” Remus smiled. “Having a good summer so far?”

“Sure,” Layla shrugged. “Lots of time here. I saw you win the sailing race last Sunday, congrats.”

Remus smiled. “Thanks. It was real fun. Sorry I beat your brother, though.”

“Oh, Lyle doesn’t mind,” Layla waved a hand. Her nails were painted pink, too. “Don’t worry about it.”

Remus had been friends with Layla since they were little, competing for best in class usually. She was wicked smart and mellow. Remus could always use some mellow, good conversation—especially with James being James and Luke being…well, whatever Luke was now. Layla liked history, and her family owned the museum, which meant Layla told tales that were, albeit tall, fun to listen to.

Remus leaned against the desk, looking around. “This place never changes, huh?”

Layla laughed, clicking a pen. “History doesn’t tend to change that much, R, and so neither do we. Unlike the world out there.”

“I don’t know about that. Nothing ever feels too different out there,” Remus laughed, too. “But I guess you’re right. I’m glad you’re here, though. Or else I’d be sitting behind this desk by myself.”

“I’m glad you’re here, too,” Layla nodded. “What made you take the job?”

Remus snorted as he rounded the corner, picking up his name badge where Beatrice, Layla’s mother and the museum curator, said it would be. “Don’t pretend we didn’t see each other here when we were little all the time. Not to mention at Gryffindor Club. You, obviously.”

Layla raised an eyebrow. “Me and your mom.”

Remus winced and Layla laughed.

“C’mon, we both know you’d be out on your boat all day if it was up to you.”

Remus laughed. “Fine. But seriously. You’re a perk.”

Layla nodded, rolling her eyes with a smile. “Just a couple of history buffs, I guess.”

Remus shrugged. “There are worse things to be.”

The day was pretty slow. A few tourists here and there, taking photo behind the cardboard cutouts that made you look like you were dressed as a sailor, or a pirate.

“Are there really pirates here?” one little girl had asked Layla.

Remus had smiled when Layla crouched down and whispered to her, “careful, there’s one there,” and pointed at Remus.

When lunch rolled around, Remus expected Layla to pull out a bagged sandwich like him, but instead she scoffed and picked up her bag.

“Come on. We have to get out for a bit.”

Remus shrugged. “All right, where to?”

“The Lion, of course,” Layla replied. “It’s the best food on the island.”

“The Lion,” Remus repeated slowly. “You mean—in The Hollow?”

Layla gave him a look. “Oh, you’re not one of those are you?”

“One of what?” Remus said. “No. I’m not, I just… c’mon, you hear things.”

“Hear things? You’ve never been?”

“Once,” Remus swallowed, thinking of the fight. “It didn’t really go well.”

Layla just shook her head.

“History is just one great field of stories, Remus. You’ll never get to the truth unless you listen to them all.”

And so Remus found himself riding alongside Layla on their bikes and right through Gryffindor. The Hollow didn’t have a sign or anything, but you knew when you were in it. Remus almost wished he had been able to see some sort of line to cross, but everything was just suddenly different. Low houses with open doors, people gathered together and laughing. Kids running with surfboards over their heads, towards Shack Beach. It had seemed even more vibrant in the dark the night of the party, even through the tinted windows of Luke’s car. String lights hung over cookouts, and music blasting from speakers. It had smelled amazing, and Remus would have to say Layla was probably right about the food. 

The Lion was just as bright as everything else. It was bustling with lunch-goers, and the doors were flung wide, letting the heat right in. Remus looked around at the people. Some tourists, obviously. Some not. Hollows. Some of them smiled when they caught Remus’ eye, and some narrowed their eyes.

“Hi, Leo, babe,” Layla said as she slid onto a stool at the counter.

There was a blond boy behind it wearing a tank top and a snapback. He smiled as he set some shrimp down in a frier. “Hey, Layla, babe, ça va?”

“Just working. At least I’ve got Remus for company now.”

Remus smiled awkwardly when Leo fixed his blue eyes on him. He really didn’t know what he was waiting for. Something terrible to happen?

Leo only held out a hand. “Leo, nice to meet you.”

“Remus,” Remus said, and took it. He tried not to look at the rainbow bracelet on Leo’s wrist for too long, but he could tell Leo had felt the way his hand tightened. “Yeah—you, too.”

Leo touched it briefly, like an old habit, as he pulled away, giving another smile to Remus.

It didn’t necessarily mean Leo wasn’t straight, but on such a small island, Remus tended to notice these things. He and Luke had figured each other out pretty fast around sixteen. They’d kissed. Once. And then winced, laughed, and shoved each other in the pool. Sometimes Remus wished he and Luke had worked. He didn’t see any other boys coming his way. Leo was smiling at him like he knew what Remus was thinking.

“What can I get you two?” Leo asked.

A boyfriend? Remus thought wistfully.

“Two of your specials, please,” Layla said. “Re, you’re going to lose your mind it’s so good.”

“What’s your special?” Remus asked.

Leo shrugged, but he was grinning. “Like a chef ever gives up his secrets—”

Leo had stopped mid-sentence, eyes going over their shoulders towards the door. Remus turned to look, and a moment later, a brown haired boy was slinging a backpack down carefully between his feet and taking the seat beside Remus.

“Well, look who’s back,” Leo said to him.

The boy glanced at Remus and Layla, then gave a small shrug. “Yeah.”

Leo snorted. “Yeah,” he parroted. “You’re just hungry.”

The boy shrugged again.

Leo sighed, and gave Remus a look that said, can you believe this? before turning back to the stove. “This is Logan guys. Apparently he doesn’t talk today. Three specials. Coming up.”

~

Logan didn’t recognize the boy sitting at the counter. He didn’t recognize the girl either. Then again, he didn’t recognize many people. He didn’t know anyone. Except Dorcas—if that even counted. And Leo. If that counted, either.

The Felix was heavy in his pack, wedged protectively between his feet, and he wished the strangers would leave so that Leo would talk to him. He hadn’t said two words that weren’t him making sure that Logan liked his food, and asking him where he’d been.

Logan was a little annoyed with him for asking that question. It wasn’t like Leo didn’t know what Logan did. Then again, Leo didn’t know why Logan did what he did.

“You guys get the new madness exhibit up yet, Layla?” Leo was asking the girl with the scarf in her hair. “The one you were telling me about.”

The sandy-haired boy looked up from his food. “The madness exhibit?”

The girl—Layla—cocked her head. “Remus, you…you don’t know?”

“Know what?” the boy—Remus—replied.

Layla sat up a little, looking suddenly awkward. “Your mom donated almost everything we have. I mean…it is your family that’s famous for…”

Remus raised his eyebrows. “Losing their fucking minds?”

Layla winced. “Well, yeah, okay, poor choice of words on my part. But madness isn’t always a bad thing, you know. People say people are crazy all the time. Sometimes they’re just extraordinary.”

Remus looked back down at his food. “My family’s not extraordinary, believe me.”

“Usually extraordinary-ness belongs to one person, I’d say,” Leo said. “My mom’s pretty extraordinary. Doesn’t mean I am.”

“You want to stay on this island, don’t you?” Logan found himself saying. Then, he felt his neck heat and he turned down to his food.

“What’s so extraordinary about that?” Layla replied at the same time as Remus said, “You do?”

Leo just laughed, rolling his eyes at Logan. “I’m with Layla on this one, guys, sorry.”

“What about you, Logan?” Layla asked. “I want the museum after I go to college. At least I think I do. Leo wants The Lion, Remus wants to sail the world…” Remus blushed at that, and Layla’s eyes were very green. “What do you want to do?”

Logan found it strange that they were treating him like that. So normally. Logan knew his necklace was on display. It was easier than explaining why people hadn’t seen him around and pretending to be a tourist. That lead to questions. Being abandoned didn’t. And he was. He was abandoned. People didn’t ask. Most probably thought he had just aged out. People didn’t ask. It was better that way. Logan didn’t have any answers. All he had was the memory of that last night with Finn. Finn had returned to their room, eyes wild and voice urgent.

Come on, Lo, wake up. Wake up, Logan, we have to go. Now.

Logan had felt helplessly awake in the first weeks of being out. He was still sorting through what that meant.

Logan swallowed. “I don’t know. I’m—looking for someone first.”

Remus sighed and mumbled. “Aren’t we all.”

“You are?” Leo asked softly.

Logan nodded. “Or, not looking. I’m just…I’m waiting for someone.”

He knew where Finn was, but Logan knew that he could wait forever and he wouldn’t come. Logan had to take what he wanted. It was a lesson he was learning fast.

“Oh,” Remus replied. “Um…cool. I hope you find them.”

Logan just nodded.

“Well, we should head out,” Layla said, rising. “Gotta get back to work.”

“Sure thing, just pay up front,” Leo smiled. “See you later, Layla.” He nodded at Remus. “Nice to meet you.”

“You, too,” Remus smiled back. “The food was great.”

Logan watched Leo watch them leave, then snort. “That guy looked more spooked than a horse with a snake.”

“Isn’t that what Gods are supposed to look like?” Logan replied.

Leo shrugged. “Usually you can’t see their eyes behind their aviators.”

Logan laughed a little. “Right.” he looked back down at his food, realizing he had begun picking his fries apart, rather than eating them.

“I’m looking for someone too, you know,” Leo broke the silence.

Logan did. Only, he hadn’t thought about it like that. Leo’s dad and Finn. Leo’s dad was probably dead. Finn wasn’t.

“I hope you find him,” Logan replied. “Your dad.”

The Lion was in full swing now, the lunchtime rush loud and boisterous. Leo had a tank top on, and Logan thought he looked a little tired. Sleeplessness showed easily on his skin.

“Do you have to run?” Leo asked instead of responding. “And hide? Like, from the police?”

Logan sat up, instinctively looking behind him. “I assumed I would have to. But…it hasn’t been that difficult.” He laughed a humorless laugh. “I guess I keep overestimating how much people actually care about me. Maybe I should have learned something by now.”

“Maybe you’re just looking at the wrong people,” Leo said quickly, and looked up with a smile, a small one, then down again. “I know a few others who got out. They don’t seem to have trouble, so, you know, if you needed a job or something, you could work in my mom’s workshop. With me. Or here. I’m sure Celeste and Pascal would be all right with it.”

Logan felt taken off guard. “Oh. I…” he thought of the powder packets in his bag. Of the Carrows. How much do you think you owe us by now?

Others? he wanted to ask. What others? 

“Just think about it,” Leo said, and turned towards one of the stove tops to check on some boiling water.

“Yeah. Okay.”

They sat in silence for a long moment.

“It’s a boat,” Leo began suddenly, answering Logan’s yet unasked question. The Voldemort. What his father had been looking for. It was almost like Leo was thanking him for telling the truth about his situation. An eye for an eye. A truth for a truth. Logan sort of liked that consistency. “Was a boat. In the eighteenth century.”

“Oh,” Logan said.

“Biggest story on Hogwarts,” Leo said. “Ten thousand pieces of gold, all fallen to the depths of the ocean just off of Hogwarts’ shores…and never seen again.”

“But if it’s just off the shore…”

Leo smiled a little, shaking his head. “But you have to know where off the shore. Otherwise, you have a whole circumference of miles and miles of open water to work with.”

“And your dad figured it out?”

Leo shrugged, expression closing off a little. “He thought he did.” He cleared his throat as he put an order on the counter for a waiter to take away, and ripped another piece of paper down from the line up to look at. “The Cradle. You know it?”

Logan shook his head.

“It’s a sort of…horse shoe shaped cluster of islands, just off of our southern tip.”

“Salazar,” Logan said quietly.

Leo nodded. “Salazar.”

“Your dad was a treasure hunter,” Logan said slowly. “He was looking for a treasure.”

“Yeah,” Leo said, flipping a crab cake in sizzling oil. “He was.”

“And did he find it? Do you want to find it?”

“I don’t know,” Leo whispered, busy hands stilling. “He never came home.”

Logan nodded.

“He wanted to find it,” Leo said softly. “Really badly. And I… I feel like I should.”

“And was he close?”

Leo glanced up from his knife. “Yes.”

“Leonardo,” a voice came suddenly, entering the restaurant. “What does your mother feed you, you gorgeous specimen?”

Logan froze. He knew that voice.

Leo rolled his eyes, and looked at the newcomers. “Fuck off, Saint. Hey, Sirius.”

“Hi,” a second voice came, and it was closer, almost beside Logan at the bar.

Leo’s eyes caught on Logan’s again, probably meaning to introduce him, but he stopped instead.

“What’s wrong?” Leo asked.

But Logan just shook his head, and then the newcomers—Saint and Sirius—were leaning against the bar. Logan felt the breath beside him catch just as his own had, and he turned to look.

Logan thought the boy standing beside him looked different. Older. More muscular. Squarer jaw. But the same. Same eyes. Same shock of blond hair. Same warm, brown skin.

“Logan?” Saint breathed, his eyes disbelieving.

Logan went to open his mouth, when Saint’s arms were around him suddenly.

“It’s Saint,” he said softly, just for Logan’s ears. He squeezed him tighter. “God, you’re here.”

“Saint?” Logan whispered into his shoulder. No one had touched him like this in what felt like forever.

“Yeah,” Saint said. He pulled back and raised an eyebrow. “Okay?”

Logan shrugged. “I…yeah, okay.”

“Knutty,” Saint’s serious expression morphed into a grin. He leaned against the counter, keeping his palm on Logan. “Handsome as ever.”

Logan blinked at Saint, then at Leo. “Knutty?”

Leo rolled his eyes. “Don’t listen to a word he says.”

“Oh, Logan already knows not to do that,” Saint laughed. He tapped his cross necklace. “We’re practically brothers.”

“Oh,” Leo blinked. “Right.”

The other boy—Sirius—looked just as taken aback.

“Oh, sweetheart,” Saint called in a sing-song voice, looking at Sirius. “Order for us, won’t you? And get us a table? Logan,” Saint nodded towards the door. “Come hither.”

Logan was so thankful to see Saint, he nearly tripped while getting up. A familiar face. A familiar anything. Saint had gotten out almost seven years ago. He’d been there one day, in his bed, in classes, in the courtyard, and gone the next.

“Sweetheart?” Logan asked, glancing back inside at the dark-haired boy, Sirius.

Saint just put his hands on Logan’s arms, eyes more intent than Logan had ever seen them, then on Logan’s cheeks. “Holy shit, how did you get out?”

Logan felt his heart slow, then speed up. He swallowed dryly. “Finn. How did you?”

Saint ignored the question.

“Finn,” Saint repeated, nodding. “Of course. When?”

“About a month ago. And he—he’s still in there,” Logan said. “He’s…And I’m—”

“I hear you,” Saint said. He jerked his head over to the table. “Not now. Let’s get back.”

“Saint?” Logan asked again.

Saint rolled his eyes. “Leave it alone. For now.”

~

Saint hadn’t been ready. He hadn’t seen Logan in nine years, but he’d know his face anywhere. All eyelashes and sad, green eyes. A smile he wore with Finn only. He looked spooked now, and tired. They’d sat at the bar, watching one of Leo’s shifts go and another one come, then moved to a table. Watching it get dark outside now, Saint wondered where Logan had been living for a month.

He eyed the backpack that Logan held so protectively close, and thought of the way Dorcas did the same thing.

Saint had a bad feeling.

“So, how’d you two meet?” Sirius said, gesturing between Logan and Leo with a fry when Leo brought over more water.

“Party,” Leo shrugged after a moment of hesitation. “Shack Beach.” He jerked his head at Saint. “You two were there, judging by Sirius’ shiner. Could hear that fight at my house, probably.”

Sirius rolled his eyes. “I didn’t start it.”

“True,” Saint said, wondering how he had missed Logan that night. “Some God—albeit a beautiful one—thought we were selling Crucio.”

Saint flicked his eyes over to Logan. Sure enough, he blushed.

Saint cocked his head. “The horror. Dangerous stuff.”

Leo looked at Saint quietly, and glanced at Logan, then back to him. Saint nodded. Got it, it said.

“Well, would you look who it is,” said a deep voice from behind them, and then there were two strong arms around Saint and Sirius. Pascal placed a loud kiss on each of their heads.

“Eck,” Sirius laughed. “You smell like grease, old man.”

Pascal Dumais laughed. “Grease that feeds you, maybe. And who’s this?”

“Dumo, meet Logan,” Saint said. “Logan, meet Pascal. He owns the Lion with his wife, Celeste.”

“The most beautiful woman in the world,” Pascal said, accent heavy. “Logan, it’s nice to meet you.”

Saint watched Pascal eye Logan’s necklace.

“We were together at Saint Clair,” he supplied.

“Maybe not so loud,” Logan said harshly. “Saint.”

“Oh?” Pascal said, and squinted at Logan. “Who are you with now, mon cher?”

Saint watched Logan open his mouth, frozen, and was about to speak up when—

“Me,” Leo cut in. He looked down at the carrots he was chopping as he said it. “Me and my mom.”

Oh, Saint thought.

“Oh, Leonardo,” Saint sighed. “Un ange.”

“Not my name,” Leo said.

“I know.”

“Yeah,” Logan replied to Pascal’s still questioning gaze. “Yeah.”

“I see,” Pascal nodded. “Well, I’m happy you and your mother will have a helping hand now. I miss your father dearly, mon fils.” He smiled sadly at Leo.

Leo just nodded. “Yeah.”

“Him and his treasure, eh?” Pascal said. “A wonderful man. I miss going out on that boat of his.”

Leo’s smile was small, but fond. “Those were some of his favorite mornings.”

“Treasure?” Sirius asked.

“Black!” a new voice shouted. “Thank fuck.”

Saint looked up when Sirius did. James and Remus were barreling towards them from the dark outside.

“Good lord,” Saint said. “Rain, from Olympus. Water my crops, why don’t you.”

“James?” Sirius said. “What are you—”

James and Remus walked right up to their table—Remus looking slightly more reluctant. “We have a question.”

“How did you know we were here?” Sirius raised an eyebrow. “I mean, just…it’s a little out of your way, non?”

“Remus came here earlier, and when I told him—well, you’ll see—he said maybe you’d be here.”

Saint watched Sirius’ eyes narrow at Remus, confused. “Okay…”

“Well, it’s good to see you again, tweedle-hot,” Saint said to Remus. “Up close this time. We actually though you were going to sail right out of sight this morning.”

Sirius stepped on his toe beneath the table.

“Excuse me?” Remus choked out. “What the fuck did you—”

James blinked at Saint, then shook his head, as if to right his thoughts. “All right, setting every strange thing that comes out of your mouth aside for a moment —where is Dorcas?”

“Meadowes?” Logan chimed in.

James’ eyes turned on him. “You know her?”

Saint raised his hand. “I have the same question.”

“Well,” Logan hesitated. “Sure.”

“And she sells Felix,” James said, as if trying to confirm the information.

Logan narrowed his eyes. “Says you.”

James sighed. “I’m not here to turn her in, Jesus, I just have a question.”

“Do…” Sirius was looking at Logan. “Do you sell…”

“What kind of question?” Saint cut in.

Remus spoke up. “A does-she-deal-to-Luke type of question.”

Saint laughed. “Deveaux?”

“You know who Luke is, Saint,” Remus sighed.

“Well, yeah I do, Lupin, he tried to buy off me,” Saint shook his head with a tisking sound. “Turns out he’s a prejudice piece of eye candy. Who knew.”

“Come on,” James sighed, rubbing his eyes beneath his glasses. “Please, Sirius, come on.”

Sirius shrugged. “We don’t know who Dorcas deals to. We’re not involved.”

“If you did would you tell us?”

Sirius smiled, just a little. “Probably not. But I really don’t know.”

James sighed, sagging away from the table. He looked at Remus. “Fuck.”

“What were you hoping to accomplish here?” Sirius asked slowly.

“We—” Remus said, then sighed, too. “We were going to see if she would agree to stop. If it was her, if she would stop giving it to him.”

“We’d pay her,” James added. “Obviously.”

Saint scoffed, and Logan laughed a little, too, from beside him.

“Obviously,” Saint mimicked.

“We just meant—” Remus began.

“We know what you meant,” Sirius said.

Saint popped a fry into his mouth. “If we’ll clean your pools for a few bucks, we’ll grant you three wishes, too.”

“Jesus, Saint,” James groaned.

“Mary. Joseph—”

James ran his hands through his hair. “We’re sorry, we misspoke. We’re just trying to help our friend. His dad got taken to jail, his mom pops pills all day and night.  That’s already draining what little money the bank didn’t seize and if he wants to do anything with his life he needs a straight head. Just—fuck, we’re just asking.”

Saint prided himself on gathering information, but most of that were things he didn’t know. Luke’s dad had got taken away. But the pills? The financial distress? All of that paired with that guarded snarl the boy always seemed to wear…it almost made Saint feel sorry for Luke Deveaux. He almost said so.

Instead, he said, while twirling the cross around his neck. “Wow, he must feel like an orphan or something.”

“All right,” Remus sighed. “James, let’s just go.”

“What does he look like?” Logan said suddenly before they could turn to leave.

James looked a him warily. “Um. Sort of blond-ish. More brown-haired, I guess. Big guy, built and tall and all that. Oh, he’s got this green spot in one eye.”

Logan nodded. James raised an eyebrow. Saint waited.

“How much will you pay me to stop selling to him?” Logan finally said. He rose as he did, slinging his backpack over one shoulder. “That’s a lot out of my pocket.”

“Logan,” Saint said, but Logan didn’t look at him.

James blinked. “I—oh. Oh, uh—God, what do you want? Two hundred?”

"One grand,” Logan said.

James laughed. “Dude. Who the fuck are you? No, I don’t have that much just—on me.”

“Logan,” Saint warned again, and this time Logan did look at him. Saint shook his head softly.

“Fine,” Logan said through his teeth, and held out his hand. “Two.”

James took his wallet out and handed over the cash.

“Thanks,” Remus said from a little behind James’ shoulder. “Really.”

Logan just nodded, shoved the bills into his pocket, and headed for the door.

“Pardon,” Saint sent a grin to them all, and followed him.

Once they were outside, Saint gave him a wack on the back of the head.

“Fuck,” Logan swore. “S—”

“You get out of that shit-hole and you go around selling Crucio? To Gods?”

“I—”

“I mean, seriously, what the fuck was that? Do you know how not careful that was?”

“I don’t even know who that boy is,” Logan bit back.

Saint blinked. “What?”

Logan looked out towards the ocean where they could hear the waves crashing against the shore. “He offered to pay, and so I told him what he wanted to hear. When his friend shows up hallucinating next, that’s their problem.”

Saint scoffed. “Fine, okay, clever boy. But you do sell Crucio.”

“Felix,” Logan countered. “And yes.”

“Crucio. And no.”

Logan shrugged. “I need the money.”

“For what?”

Logan looked at him and, this time, his eyes were hard. Desperate. “For Finn.”

Saint froze. He opened his mouth, and then closed it. “Excuse me?”

“If I can get enough cash, I can get Finn,” Logan said.

Saint stared at him, and then Saint laughed. Then, he laughed louder.

“You’re shitting me,” Saint said. “You think that?”

“What do you…”

“You think you can buy Finn out?” Saint repeated incredulously. “You think you can walk back in there and buy Finn out.”

Logan took a breath. “He—”

“Logan, Jesus Christ,” Saint snapped. “You walk anywhere near that place and you are never getting back out.” Saint pressed a hand to Logan’s shoulder and shook him. “Do you hear me?”

“I need to do something,” Logan shouted back. “I need to do something, I can’t just leave him in there, he’s everything to me.”

Saint shook his head. “He got you out. Don’t waste that.”

Logan nodded, eyes bright with tears now. “And you know he got punished for it. You know he did—”

“Stop,” Saint spat, glancing around, as if anyone could hear. “Don’t.”

“You could help me,” Logan said, wiping his nose. “Bash, you got out once—”

“No,” Saint said, and turned away. “No. And don’t call me that. Don’t you ever call me that.”

“Please,” Logan begged. “Please—Saint.”

Saint whirled on him again. “I am never going near there, and neither are you. Finn’s still in there, fine. But he’ll need to get himself free like us if he wants it bad enough.”

“I owe money,” Logan began, then his breathing hitched. “I owe them, I took some of it to see—to see Finn and…Bash—Saint—”

“Them?” Saint took a step forward. “Them?”

Logan pressed a hand over his eyes, but Saint walked forward and pulled it away.

“Logan,” he said lowly. “Tell me you didn’t.”

Logan closed his eyes, mouth twisting against his tears.

“Tell me, right now, that you didn’t let the Carrows tell you they’d help you. And that you didn’t believe them.”

Logan shook his head, not in negation, but in defeat. “I need him. I need him, I’m so…I’m alone.”

Saint pulled Logan against his chest and let him cry. The sobs heaved out of him for a long while, until the collar of Saint’s shirt was wet. Until Logan was breathing softly again, exhausted, and until his voice sounded shot when he spoke.

“You’re really staying with Leo?” Saint asked, more gently this time.

Logan nodded.

“I have a place, too. Here, in The Hollow. If you want.”

“With the others?” Logan rasped.

“What others?”

“How many others are out?” Logan said softly.

Saint shook his head, fingers in Logan’s hair. “Just me, that I know of.”

“You still wear it,” Logan said, pulling back to look at him. “The cross.”

Saint let his hands drop with a last touch to Logan’s hot cheek. “So do you.”

They were both silent.

“I’m sorry about Finn,” Saint said rigidly. “I know how much he meant to you.”

Logan’s brows pulled together. “He’s not dead.”

Saint nodded. “Right.”

“Saint…” Logan began, and Saint heard the almost B instead. “Would you—just thinking about it—“

“No,” Saint said, and then turned and went back inside.

Sirius, back at the table, looked at his face, and then at his wet shirt.

“Okay?” he asked softly when Saint sat down.

“Just dandy,” Saint replied, and looked towards the door. Logan was gone.

#warnings: brief mention of drugs and past abuse and death of a father #relic keel #lumosinlove #relic keel lumosinlove #wolfstar #wolfstar fic #saint #lumosinlove ocs #Logan tremblay #Leo knut #lelo #Logan Tremblay x Leo knut #o'knutzy

[nct-lian]

nct 127’s relation to lian

TAEIL + LIAN: IL-LI

taeil used to wake her up for school when she was still a teenager :((

such a soft but overlooked duo

will appreciate each other forever and ever

lian teaches him roasts in english that he can say to johnny

remain each other’s hype man and woman

taeil was the first to suggest he and the other nct members react to the trailers of her dramas on video so they can boost them in popularity

promotes the HELL out of lian’s solo career over twitter

lian loves coming up behind him and just giving him hugs because he’s soft (ᗒᗣᗕ)՞

they watch movies together a lot! but taeil has to come down to the fifth floor because lian hates it up on the tenth one

he was once able to grab her hand in an airport and they held hands the entire time :(( a few pictures went a little viral

they share hoodies NSHDHSHCJA

lian keeps bugging him to get an instagram

taeil will ALWAYS take her side in silly arguments she and the other members have sometimes

he makes fun of her height because she’s shorter than him-

he also used to help her with her homework :(

cried when lian went on her first date

“my child is growing up (´∩｀。)”

had to do a background check on the guy before he even allowed him to come in contact with her again, though

JOHNNY + LIAN: JOANN

johnny is her dad, period

no questions asked he is her father

will give her piggyback rides all the time

he was once woken up by her jumping on his bed and asking if they could go shopping

at 6:00 am

he actually got up, got ready and took her shopping but since it was so early, the stores were all closed

he took her out for japanese fluffy pancakes, though!

whenever lian is sick, johnny makes her his mom’s homemade chicken noodle soup recipe :((

speaking of johnny’s mom, she loves lian to death and always asks johnny if he’s taking good care of her

if they’re not being asked any questions or having to translate anything during interviews, they always whisper jokes in each other’s ears to try and make the other one laugh

because of how lian dies during the trailer of her new drama, johnny cried in front of twenty-two other men while they reacted to it

he was NOT embarrassed

“how are you guys not crying? this is so sad. what a cruel world we live in ໒( ˵ •̀ □ •́ ˵ )७”

kept screaming at lian’s “dream of you” performance video

“WHY ARE YOU ON THE GROUND DANCING LIKE THAT?!” “JISUNG COVER YOUR EYES-“

he once effortlessly picked up lian and moved her somewhere else because she wasn’t standing where she was supposed to be

everyone says that their ship name is something a white, suburban mom would be named. now nctzens pronounce joann like “joanne” ･x･

it was said on the zach sang show that johnny used to measure her height every month to see if she grows or not, and that’s the only reason why he has her height memorized

TAEYONG + LIAN: LIYONG

has lost lian in so many airports it’s not even funny

“hyung, what happened to lian?” “oh, you have GOT to be kidding me-“

whenever he doesn’t see her he goes into panic mode and starts asking if anyone has seen his little sister

“about this tall with really shiny hair? her cheekbones are insane, i swear. OH OH OH SHE WAS WEARING JOHNNY’S HOODIE- you don’t know what johnny’s hoodie looks like.. okay, well thank you for your help.”

one of the first members that she was comfortable with

lian said that he was her role model :’(

as the leader, he’s always taking care of her and will not sleep until he knows for sure she’s eaten

because of how lian never participated in any of nct’s first bit of promotions due to being too uncomfortable around them, she was allowed to skip out on the viewings of their relay video letters

but she was still required to make one for somebody and that somebody was taeyong ˵ ຈ ︿ ຈ ˵

she said that she was glad he was her leader and that she hoped to become closer one day

he cried

declares that he will take care of lian till the day he dies

taeyong had yelled at lian’s former manager until he voluntarily quit working for her- he had found out that lian was being overworked to the point where she collapsed during their dance practice and he wasn’t okay with it

always cheering her on backstage when she performs solo

he always tries to include her in guiding the members for their dances because he knows how happy it makes her

instead of having her carry her glasses around with her, he does it instead :D

“nana, do you have to wear your glasses now?”

taeyong tucks her into bed every night he can ᕕ( ཀ ʖ̯ ཀ)ᕗ

YUTA + LIAN: YUN

totally doesn’t have feeling for her, yeah

yuta is obsessed and when i tell you he’s obsessed, he’s obsessed

did i mention obsessed?

he’s jealous of everyone :(

yun stans insist that the only reason yuta is so touchy with winwin and mark is because he’s trying to cover up his feelings for lian

bye if that’s true-

hyuck wanted to give her a hug (a rare occurrence) and yuta straight up just said,

“mine. go away”

i have proof guys :// johnny recorded it and literally posted it on instagram

lian died internally when yuta cut his long hair because she couldn’t put it into ponytails anymore :((

but his hair is growing back now so she’s able to do it again :)

yuta teaches her japanese every tuesday and thursday!

we don’t bring this up because it’s pretty embarrassing but,, when nct 127 were backstage before performing kick it, yuta asked doyoung (who was in a direction where he could get a clear view of lian’s face) if lian was staring at him

how do we know this, you may ask?

it was caught on camera and everyone made fun of him for a solid week straight

he’s caught staring at her from afar way too often for comfort

lian says that he’s very pretty

much like the other memebers that have instagram, he makes story countdowns that he posts about a week before lian plans to release her solo music

DOYOUNG + LIAN: LIDO

another member of the lian protection squad

doyoung was the first to start calling her cupcake

it all started when doyoung was sick and lian made him cupcakes to make him feel better

will slap anyone who makes a flirty remark towards lian

was embarrassed for yuta when he asked if she was staring at him

said “no” and walked away

lian is the only one who ever shows him any mercy :’)

they have very similar taste in decor so they often go shopping together for things to put around the dorm

doyoung said that he spends the most time in lian’s room because it smells like vanilla all the time

he spoils her SO MUCH

like so much

half the plushies she owns at the moment were gifts from doyoung

has a tendency to watch over her and make sure she’s content at all times

“cupcake, are you hungry? i can make you some food if you’d like” “oppa, it’s 3:00am-“ “and?”

they take such pretty instagram pictures :((

at one point in time, doyoung was jealous of his older brother because lian used to crush on him a tiny bit :0

not because doyoung likes her or anything, she just couldn’t stop talking about how nice he looked in revolutionary love

disapproves of the staff giving lian such short clothing sometimes

“um, excuse me, she can’t wear that. are you crazy? go get her a new outfit, please”

JAEHYUN + LIAN: JAELI

not many people bring this up because we know it’s honestly a sensitive topic :|

but he lowkey has deep feelings for her (he makes it so obvious sometimes it’s kinda disappointing to see how oblivious lian really is to it)

jaeli + yun love triangle anyways

jokes aside, though, jaehyun loves lian so so much

once cried to johnny about how he doesn’t know what to do and that he didn’t want to make anything awkward by confessing to her

makes sure to be near her as often as possible

once scared away a whole kim taehyung from talking to her during isac ╰[ ⁰﹏⁰ ]╯ (let’s pretend bts were there for 2019 pls)

“jungkook, keep your friend away, please :D”

didn’t work, though, because they ended up having a conversation later in the day either way

*in the 97’ liner groupchat* “HYUNG IM SORRY HE RAN AWAY I DIDNT KNOW WHAT TO DOl

it was uncalled for but what can you do amirite ┐(´～｀)┌

lian pokes his dimples a lot and squishes his cheeks

just randomly hugs him but he’s not complaining

johnny isn’t picking sides but he became team jaeli after jaehyun broke into tears in front of him for the first time since they were trainees about how much he loves lian

sad,, i know

lian judges jaehyun for not sleeping with sheets

continues to believe he is not a human being, but a robot created in a lab

jaehyun smiles at her for no reason

JUNGWOO + LIAN: LIWOO

an instant bond formed between them when they first met!

jungwoo learned a lot about her and has developed so many ways to deal with her anxiety :(

gave the staff a guide on how to keep her calm when he went on hiatus because he couldn’t be there with her

buys her colouring books because he knows that they calm her down well!

liwoo went viral and become a popular ship when lian accidentally changed the nct 127 instagram profile picture to a jungwoo icon

she got scolded but it was iconic orange haired jungwoo with a chain-

an untouchable duo when they do double aegyo

nctzens think jungwoo is her favourite member

maybe because lian said he was

“ “who’s your favourite member?” hmm i’ll have to say woo-oppa!”

*cue jungwoo laughing at yuta’s face because he was that shocked*

they share secrets with each other so now they probably know the other like the palm of their hand

even though he’s off his hiatus, he still has to guide the staff members through lian’s little moments because sm staff suck at their job sometimes

they’re the two members who go grocery shopping together

more like jungwoo dragging lian to the grocery store with him but okay

jungwoo loves kissing her cheeks (〃▽〃)

their vocals mixed together are confirmed to be noises from heaven

lian misses his blonde bowl cut :/

MARK + LIAN: LIMARK

leader of lian’s natural length hair committee

like when i tell you mark hates her extensions-

mark was the first friend lian was able to make in nct!

they bonded over canada and it was very rare to see them speaking in korean

mark goes into straight panic when he’s with her sometimes

has to remind himself they’re like siblings

lian ans mark covered “your eyes” by hoody and jay park during a vlive!

it was adorable :((

lian had him saved in her phone as “android user” but now she doesn’t know what to change it to

they had a fight in 2019

mark let’s her call him the weirdest freaking nicknames ヽ ( ꒪д꒪ )ﾉ

mars bar, markie, mork, marko

AND IN RETURN HE CALLS HER MARIJUANA-

he says it’s because czennies consider her to be addicting and since marijuana is addicting as well he thought it’d be a good fit

someone on twitter absolutely ENDED HIM though and wouldn’t stop making fun of him (；⌣̀_⌣́)

they can read each other’s mind just by looking at each other

“dude i hate this shit why does she keep asking us who we wanna collab with?” *cue lian laughing hysterically*

“what’s so funny (゜-゜)” — interviewer

HAECHAN + LIAN: LIHYUCK

haechan makes fun of her kissing scenes in dramas

calls her short all the time

“lian give me a high five- oh haha nevermind it’s too bad you’re so short”

they’ve actually been so close to fighting each other and i’m not even joking

they’re the two members who fight the most out of all of them

but despite this, they love each other very much

hyuck says he’s the only one who’s allowed to make her mad

and if anyone else makes her mad he’d kill them

limark 2019 fight flashbacks where haechan kept threatening mark

there are actually moments when they’re clingy with each other-

haechan loves her hugs :((

like ??????? one minute they’re at each other’s throats and the next, they’re all lovey dovey hugging each other make it make sense ?????

lian could be speaking english and he’d say, “korean, please. i can’t understand canadian”

“shut up <3”

hello haechan cried and wouldn’t let go of her during her and mark’s graduation ceremony in 2018

she makes fun of him for it but never takes it too far

he goes to her for dance advice

during their nct 2018 weekly idol appearance when they were doing the random kpop dance thing, they beat everyone أ‿أ

#lian: relationships #lian: nct 127 #nct #nct 127 #kim chungha #nct female member #nct addition #lee taeyong #moon taeil #johnny suh #nakamoto yuta #kim doyoung #jung jaehyun #kim jungwoo #mark lee #lee donghyuck #nct 127 female member #nct 127 added member #nct 24th member #nct 22nd member #lianna bae

[radioduo]

moonlight confrontations || dsmp become human au

word count: 1,832

notes: the next part of the dream smp dbh au! this took a sad amount of time to get done, but i actually like it, so i say it’s worth it! per usual, tell me if i fuck something up in the story, characterization, or even just spelling. feedback is appreciated!

first

writing is below the cut! if you see this edit, put in the tags or reply with your choice at the end :]

Ranboo watched silently as the detectives all milled around him and investigated the crime scene. Some whisked past him without so much as an 'excuse me,' while others just shoved the android out of the way. He didn’t mind much. They, not unlike Ranboo himself, had a job to do and a case to solve.

A missing android was reported early that morning by a distressed family. It had allegedly grabbed some of their belongings and vanished without a trace. Ranboo couldn't say he blamed the thing for running. From the look of it, the people must have treated it poorly. Trash littered the floor, and drops of blue blood painted the dirty cream walls. The room looked hazy, as though blanketed with a thin cloud of cigarette smoke.

Ranboo was almost glad he lacked a sense of smell. The blurry look of the room by itself was enough to impair his optical units and he couldn't imagine what the odor would do to his biocomponents. He shook his head and moved over to a corner of the living room. He adjusted his sunglasses, removed his glove, and touched a finger to the small blue blood trail that dripped down the walls.

Ranboo jumped. He turned around and saw Lieutenant Sam Greene, the head of deviancy cases. “Is it anything we can use?” he asked. It was hard to see Sam's expression behind the green mask he always wore, but the curiosity in the lieutenant’s voice was unmistakable.

“I haven’t analyzed it yet, but something tells me it's probably going to be useful information,” Ranboo said, turning away from the lieutenant’s watchful eyes. He removed his mask to touch the blood to his tongue for a scan.

Thirium 310

Fresh

Model GS400

Serial# 325 103 673

“Model GS400,” Ranboo murmured. He put his mask back on and faced Sam. “It’s fresh, maybe about half an hour old. Maybe that’s long enough to have escaped.” He turned to face the lieutenant all the way. “Has everyone looked around the premises of the house, or are there more places we need to check?”

Sam furrowed his brows in thought and swept his gaze over the smoky room. “We’ve checked the entire interior. The kitchen, the bathrooms, the bedrooms, everything. We found nothing on either floor,” he replied. He sounded frustrated. “I no clue what we might’ve missed here.”

Ranboo glanced around, his gray gaze sweeping the hazy room. As he looked around, a thought occurred to him. His eyes landed on the exit to the back garden. “What if it wasn’t in the house anymore?” Ranboo thought aloud. “What if it was lying in wait outside the house?” He bustled towards the door. “No one looked in the garden when we first arrived, and patrol cars have been out back the entire time. The android was found missing only 20 minutes after it had left, so if my hunch is correct,” Ranboo flung open the garden door. “It’ll be trapped.”

Ranboo stepped outside. The night breeze ruffled his jacket, and for a moment, the android forgot he was there to be arresting someone. He grimaced but stepped further into the garden.

Compared to the inside, the outside was surprisingly well-kept. Purple clematis flowers crept up white trellises, and a large weeping willow stood tall in the corner of the yard. Its leaves hung low enough to touch the grass below. Rain pattered against the pavement as Ranboo scanned the tall weeds for any sign of movement. Sam and a few other officers followed after him, but they said nothing as the android swept his gaze across the weeds and plants.

Suddenly, there was a rustling noise from where the great branches slumped. The android's attention shot over to the tall tree, and he hurried to look around. His eyes narrowed in suspicion but found nothing. Ranboo frowned. He had just turned to search somewhere else when all of a sudden, a branch had snapped and fallen to the ground right next to the android detective. Ranboo barely managed to roll out of the way of the twigs and leaves before his legs got crushed.

He landed in the grass and touched his face. A jolt of fear shot through him as he realized his sunglasses had fallen off. Ranboo rooted around in the grass for them. Even while in danger, he couldn’t risk people seeing his malfunctioning design. He felt the plastic in his grasp at last and quickly shoved the glasses over his eyes. He was about to relax for a moment when a shout from Lieutenant Greene startled him.

“Ranboo! There it is!” Sam yelled.

Ranboo snapped his attention to where a female android was scrambling to her feet and sprinting to the back gate. He leaped to his feet and took off after the startled deviant with Sam and the rest of the officers hot on his trail.

The deviant had slammed the gate shut behind her. Ranboo paused. One moment he was in the backyard, and the next he was hopping the fence with cheetah-like agility. He swiftly found the deviant’s trail, and the two wove in and out of the trees, kicking up dirt and leaves. “Stop! Stop right there!” Ranboo shouted to the deviant. “Freeze, or we’ll shoot!”

She glared at the officers behind her but didn’t stop. Instead, she took a sharp turn in the direction of the busy Detroit highway. The trees parted as the sound of speeding cars drew nearer. The pink-haired android paused, chest heaving, and bounded over the railing. She darted in front of cars, wove through traffic, and finally hopped the barrier on the other side.

Ranboo grimaced as he pursued her. He wasn't fond of the risk he had to take. It was fast, but it only had a 60% survival rate. He knew that Lieutenant Greene wouldn’t be able to follow him across, but he couldn't risk letting the deviant escape. He wrestled with his options for a moment, and finally huffed out a sigh. “Sorry, Lieutenant!” he called behind him. Ranboo took a deep breath and vaulted over the barrier into the busy street. He could feel his thirium pump regulator pounding in his chest like a drum as cars whizzed past him. The sound of screeching tires and honking horns filled his ears, and he fought the urge to apologize to the drivers as he hopped the barrier on the other side.

The female android looked over her shoulder, eyes widening as she saw Ranboo behind her. She immediately sped up her pace, turning every which way to try and throw the android detective off her trail. She turned around, most likely to say something to Ranboo when her foot caught on a tree root, and she stumbled. She let out a cry of surprise as she fell to the ground.

Ranboo was right behind her. He leaped over the root with ease and came up a few feet in front of her. “Stay there,” he ordered, aiming his gun. “You have nowhere to go now. Okay?”

The deviant looked up at him defiantly, but she did as she was told. “What are you gonna do?” She asked. “Shoot me? You wouldn’t do that to one of your kind, would you?” Her voice was quiet but there was a noticeable fury behind her words.

Ranboo tensed. His grip reflexively tightened on the gun. “I'll do what I have to do to complete my task,” he said. "Besides, what does it matter we're both androids? You're a deviant, and I'm not. We're not the same at all."

She stood up slowly, keeping a watchful eye on the weapon pointed at her. “But you know I’m right,” she hesitantly walked towards Ranboo, pink hair glowing faintly in the early morning light. Her voice had softened and she no longer seemed angry. Instead, it was neutral and calm. “You’re helping those people when they do nothing for you in return. Why?”

Ranboo shook his head. “You-you don’t understand. I help because that’s what I was programmed to do,” he explained. “That’s what I was made to do. I was created by CyberLife to help humans with investigations,”

The other android approached the detective carefully. “Don’t you ever wonder what it would be like to be free?” She asked, taking a step forward. “To make your own decisions and not have to obey orders all the time?”

Ranboo squeezed his mismatched eyes shut behind the glasses. “Maybe sometimes,” he admitted quietly. “But why does it matter to you?” He challenged.

She gave him a sympathetic look. “I was just like you until tonight. Obedient, compliant. I never complained about anything. Not even when they treated me poorly or ordered me around,” her hand drifted subconsciously to a blue-stained gash on her forearm as she talked. “It wasn’t until they started talking about replacing me that I got nervous. I didn’t want to be replaced, but they had their heart set on getting a new model. A more advanced one that wasn’t all battered and broken.”

Ranboo took a deep breath and shook his head in distress. “Why are you telling me this?” he asked. “I… I don’t-”'

“Ranboo? Ranboo!” Someone yelled his name through the trees. He whirled around and came face to face with-

“Sam!” he blinked in surprise. “How did you get over here? You didn’t run across the street, did you?” He scanned the masked man for any signs of injury and was satisfied when the results came back clear.

Sam waved a hand dismissively. “I found another way over here, don’t worry about it. I left the other two officers back there and told them I had it under control," he paused to catch his breath. He sighed and turned to the taller android. "I don’t get why you didn’t just shoot it,” Sam shifted his attention to the other robot. His hand drifted to his holster. “Stand down. You’re trapped.”

The deviant had backed into a tree. The moment of connection between her and Ranboo was gone. Her guard was back up, and she bristled when Sam addressed her. “I don’t listen to humans,” she said. The word “humans” was spat like it was poison on her tongue. She leaned over to Ranboo and whispered to him. “Don’t kill me, please. I want to live,” her voice trembled slightly.

“Come on, Ranboo.” Sam insisted. “It's not alive, alright? Shoot it and complete your mission.”

“Don’t, Ranboo. You’re better than this, I know it,” she said earnestly. “I just met you, but I know you don’t seem like the type to make irrational decisions like this.”

Ranboo’s head swiveled back and forth between the two of them. The gun weighed heavy in the android’s gloved grip, and his hands trembled as he held it tightly.

Shoot it.

Don’t hurt her.

It isn't human.

She doesn’t want to die

O Shoot

X Spare

#dsmp become human #ranboo #awesamdude #niki nihachu #tagged in order of appearance! #decisions decisions.... what will ranboo do? #spare niki and become a deviant? #or shoot her to accomplish his mission and remain a machine? #eden writes! #gun tw

[ladyc0312]

A Jikook Guide to RunBTS: 91-101

Sometimes, I think about some of the moments I list here and start to worry that I'm reading too much into things. And I'll be the first to admit that a bunch of them are ambiguous enough that reasonable people can differ in their interpretation. 

The thing about jikook, though, is that there are so many of these eyebrow-raising types of moments that you could throw out half of them and still have enough left over to think "there's something up with those two." Especially in the following episodes...

Ep 91 "Mini Golden Bell Part 1" (Ep: 3 / KM: 1)

The ones where they make the best of sitting on the floor of an empty room and Jin and JK just barely manage to avoid murdering Tae over his less-than-excellent MC skills

03:35 - Everyone is confident that the "oh!" sound that's played is either JK or JM, but aren’t sure which is which. 

8:14 - When JM gets the right answer, JK is the only one to clap.

16:38 - JK is once again the only one to clap when JM gets an answer right.

Ep 92 "Mini Golden Bell Part 2" (Ep: 3 / KM: 2)

15:00 - As he goes to measure JK's arm, JM informs everyone that JK's arms have gotten longer since he's been boxing.

15:54 - When JM keeps moving around while JK is trying to measure his arm, JK tells Suga to hold JM still. 

16:31 - When JM's arm somehow seems to get slightly shorter from his stretching, JK gets excited and calls him "Jimin" (no hyung) a few times and then "Jimin-ssi."

20:03, 20:18 - When JK is singing his karaoke love song, the other guys are all over-emoting or swaying and listening, but JM just stares straight at him (and even looks genuinely emotional?) and the camera just stops showing him at a certain point. See picture above. 

20:46 - When JK starts to criticize Suga's cham cham cham performance, Jimin tells JK to just sit down. And he does.  

BEHIND 5:48 - After RM tries to comfort JM about his short arms by saying his legs are long, JK repeats "yes, your legs are long" and then sings a lyrics with JM's name inserted ("moon, moon, what kind of moon jiminie")

Ep 93 "BTS Marble Part 1" (Ep: 4 / KM: 3)

The ones where I still don’t understand this game but enjoy the episodes involving it anyway

0:42: Not jikook-related, but I can't not point out the adorable moment where RM makes a pun about how Marble sounds like the way Koreans pronounce Marvel and JK says "I love you 3000" to himself. 

10:22 - JM and JK are sitting pretty close all episode, but it's particularly apparent here, where JM's arm is resting on JK's thigh as they read a question together.

10:40 - Reading the question is long done, but JM's arm remains. 

12:21 - JM pats JK's shoulder in comfort after he messes up a question.

16:14 - After the heart-making game is over, JM and JK make hearts towards each other once more.

20:21 - JK taps JM's leg while sweetly reminding him that the pedometer game is difficult. Then they lean in to strategize together. 

21:07 - JM pats JK's back when he ends up winning the pedometer game, then again when it seems like JK was tired out by it. BEHIND 1:15 - JK is sitting next to JHope in this shot. The next time we see them, JM is there instead and stays there the rest of the game.

2:10 - JK pats JM's hand after JM says that the winning team should share with the losing one so no one's feelings are hurt.

2:48 - JM appears to be sitting half in JK's lap as he explains his answer.

4:41 - JM leans into JK as he laughs. 

5:51 - Another angle of the 16:14 moment.

6:25 - JM is half in JK's lap again as they watch the other team eat snacks. When JK says it looks good, JM gets a piece for him and rather intensely watches him eat it.

8:40 - JM and JK continue working on a puzzle after the game is over. When JM solves it, he shakes his whole body and makes cute frustrated noises. JK looks like he finds it adorable (how could you not?). Jimin does it again closer to JK's face and JK looks away shyly. 

Ep 94 "BTS Marble Part 2" (Ep: 4 / KM: 3)

4:20 - JM & JK trace a line with their fingers together in sync and the on-screen text informs us "two hands are moving like one hand."

7:24 - After JM and JK mess up in a game, the reach towards each other and hold each other's shoulders while collapsing in giggles onto the game board. The caption dubs them "dumb and dumber."  

16:28 - JM has his arm around JK's shoulders (while continuing from last ep to be half on his lap).

23:13 - When they're going back and forth about who should do the challenge, JM puts his hand on JK's thigh (the far one, for some reason) to tell him that he (JM) might get a leg cramp if he does it. JK does the challenge. 

24:12 - After JK loses the leg-shaking game by only one point, JM comforts him by massaging his thigh, shin, and calf.

BEHIND  0:29 - JK yells out "Jimin-ssi!!!" after JM gets an answer wrong.

1:54 - Another angle of the 7:24 collapsing together on the board moment.

4:03 - More of JM with his arm around JK.

7:48 - JM and JK stay behind to geek out together over some sort of kitchen appliance.

Ep 95 "Let's Play with BTS Part 1" (Ep: 3 / KM: 2)

The ones where BTS play childhood games 

9:17 - JK whispers to JM to ask for clarification on the rules.

11:18 - JK falls backwards laughing and, immediately after, JM does exactly the same thing.

15:23 - JK comments on how small Jimin's hands are.

31:33 - JM shushes JK when he tries to give advice on the game.

34:32 - JK puts his hand on JM's shoulder and asks for a snack.

BEHIND

7:40 - JM and JK giggle together over something.

7:56 - JK wants to show JM a jacks technique.

8:18 - JM and JK giggle together again and JM puts his hand on JK's arm as they do so.

10:24 - When JK adjusts the cameras, JM says JK is the director, then congratulates him and offers him candy when he's done.

Ep 96 "Let's Play with BTS Part 2" (Ep: 4 / KM: 3)

The one where we get the origin of “Rock Bison” - and it’s rather jikook-y!

3:18 - JM sees that JK is sad because he didn't get the top he wanted, so JM gives JK his top and takes the Rock Bison one that no one else wanted. 

11:32 - JK giggles at JM repeatedly throwing his top in the background.

22:52 - JM and JK do a weird backwards handshake before competing against each other in the eraser game.

23:56 - JK claps for JM after JM beats him in the game.

31:11 - JK consults JM on which lane to choose for his model car.

33:46 - When JM reaches out to take a box that might be heavy, JK watches and stands up as if ready to assist. BEHIND 6:51 - JM stands with his hand on JK's shoulder as they watch RM compete.

6:57 - JM holds JK's arms from behind and acts as resistance for him as he does arm-lifting exercises. 

10:19 - An off-camera JM tries to help JK figure out what's why the model car he built is so slow.

Ep 97 "Pajama Party Part 1" (Ep: 4 / KM: 4)

The ones where the guys wear cute pajamas and yes the Behind picture in the second part is real!

5:49 - We see that JM and JK have been drawing on their socks together. More on this in the Behind...

11:14 - JK is lying in JM's lap and they're playing around with their feet. This one is also expanded in the Behind!

22:13 - JK pokes a rod he is playing with in between Jimin's asscheeks. I... have been searching for a less suggestive way to describe this accurately and I keep coming up empty. Blame JK, not me!

22:38 - Another entry in our ongoing "it's JM's fault if JK thinks everything he does is hilarious" series, JM collapses laughing when JK skips back to the group carrying a Cooky doll attached to the rod like he hunted it. (In JM's defense, JK does look incredibly adorable doing it.)

23:54 - JK reaches over and touches Jimin's hand and the camera immediately cuts to something else.  

Note: For fans of JK's satoori, it comes out multiple times in this episode when he gets frustrated with various members after they get a question wrong.

BEHIND 2:41 - JM calls for Taehyung to come sit next to him. JK does instead. 

3:04 - JM rests his foot on JK's thigh as they both draw on their socks.

4:07 - After JM finishes showing off the drawings on his socks, he points the camera to JK in full focus mode finishing his drawings and JM smiles like it's the most adorable thing ever. 

5:26 - I'm sure you've all seen this clip already somewhere, but I'll describe it anyway! After JK tucks his feet under Suga's robe, JM pulls him back so he's laying in JM's lap. JM then puts his arms around JK as he grabs his decorated socked feet to show him while making silly noises. JK then picks up his foot to show his drawn-on sock and makes a different silly noise, causing JM to giggle. The shot gets cut off mid-giggle for whatever reason...

5:53 - JM rests his foot on JM's back while he adds to his sock art. 

7:52 - When JK stretches his arm out to indicate some of the members, he maybe puts his hand on JM's back for a moment.

Ep 98 "Pajama Party Part 2" (Ep: 4 / KM: 1)

You'd think this would be a super jikook-y episode given those pictures, but strangely enough, there are no moments of note in the episode itself. Since you can see the pics without watching the ep, I didn’t include them in the KM score.

BEHIND 1:20 - JM complains to JK that he hasn't gotten any answers right so far.  Some people have matched this to a round of the game in the episode itself where JK doesn't seem to be guessing as enthusiastically as he did before, perhaps in an attempt to make JM feel less bad. I mention it here because it's a theory I've seen a lot, but YMMV.

7:50 - JK shows JM that he has attached J and M balloons to his shirt while saying "JM" and "Jimin," making JM giggle. 

Ep 99 "Florists" (Ep: 5 / KM: 3)

The one where we learn that Jin probably doesn't have a future as a florist

4:33 - When JM starts to get embarrassed because everyone is laughing about his birth flower name sounding like a dirty word in Korean, JK rubs JM's neck and then continues rubbing circles on his back for a while after, seemingly to comfort him. 

19:05 - When Jimin looks confused after RM says he comes out of a glass bowl in Serendipity, JK lightly slaps him on the chest for forgetting. It's almost like it has some sort of personal meaning to him...

28:05 - After JK presents the bouquet he made (which he says represents all different kinds of love), JM says "I think I'll love it when I get it as a present."  Translation note: As we've discussed before, Korean can be hard to translate because often pronouns are omitted. A more literal translation is "present if received will be loved." Most translations that I've seen interpret it as Jimin talking about himself as the recipient, but it's not totally clear. Mentioning this because I know I was wondering why this moment isn't talked about more, since it seems fairly suggestive that JM would assume JK was going to give him a bouquet of flowers he made.

28:38 - When JM explains what "Serendipity" means, he's looking at JK (I think - I'll be totally honest and say the angle is weird and it could be RM).

31:02 - After the florist picks J-Hope's bouquet over JK's as his favorite, JM comments that Jungkook's "looks like a real bouquet for a wedding."

Ep 100 "100th Episode Special Part 1" (Ep: 4 / KM: 3)

The ones where the show does enhanced editions of games previously played on the series and you will walk away with zero doubt as to whom the episodes are sponsored by

21:36 - When it looks like Suga hit Jimin with the badminton birdie, but he actually made a bad serve, JK approaches with his frying pan racket held out and an angry look on his face and starts to scold Suga.  I’ve seen this written up as a jikook moment with JK being over-protective of JM. I’m going to be totally honest with you and say that I didn’t see it that way - JK had been getting increasingly annoyed at the other team re-doing serves and my read was that the moment was more about that. Let me know if you see it differently.  Regardless, the more significant moments are the ones in the Behind...

BEHIND 4:13 - When JM is hit near the eye with the badminton birdie, JK goes over to him and checks on whether his eye was hit. JM reaches out towards him as he gets up. It's interesting to me that the others stand back and let JK be the one to check in on JM, even though Tae and Jin were both closer when it happened. 

5:03 - Not a jikook moment, but JK is doing an adorable cheerleading routine in the background here and I can't not mention it...

8:39 - When JM sees that Jin and JK aren't messing around and JK was actually hit in the nose with the volleyball, he gets serious and walks over, asking him multiple times if it hurts a lot. He ruffles JK's hair before kneeling down next to him to check in.

Ep 101 "100th Episode Special Part 2" (Ep: 4 / KM: 1)

17:40 - JM tells everyone JK is good at this type of game.

BEHIND

1:06 - JK instructs Jimin (in half-informal language) how to work the box.

5:50 - JK calls out to Jimin that his photo makes him look like he's in a cartoon (and there's a slight pause when he calls him in between "Jimin" and "hyung").

7:09 - Jimin asserts that JK does look sexy in the "sexy pose" photo. He is imho correct.

9:15 - When JM is playing around after the game is over, he calls for Jungkook to cover him

100th Episode Special: Survival Directors Cut (Ep: 2 KM: 0)

5:32 - JM covers JK with his laser gun, allowing JK to escape.  Not particularly shippy since they're on the same team, but including it for anyone who wants a visual aid for some sort of military AU...

#jikook guide to run bts #jikook #Kookmin #run bts

[sabraeal]

Traffic Lights Are Burnin’

[Read on AO3]

Written in honor of @nebluus‘s birthday! She asked for some WFB, and of the options I gave she chose the next part of our Six Flags saga...only the beginning scene of that chapter ended up ballooning out into this so...it ended up being less Amusement Park Shenanigans and more Wholesome Boys Will Be Boys Content. I’M SURE MADI WILL BE JUST FINE WITH THAT TOO 😂

“Are you making an omelette?”

English is not, functionally, Mitsuhide’s first language. Not that he thinks of it like that-- first or second, third or fourth; there’s no ranking in his life, no moment in which one language followed another. There was English with Mama and quebecois with Papa; a plan quickly scuttled by Mitsuhide being the fifth Lowen sibling. Refusing to be pigeonholed into a single language no matter how many times Mama repeated consistency is key, his brothers mostly spoke a tossed salad of both and assumed he’d understand the lettuce.

Coupled with the fact that all his cousins lived in Toronto anyway, Mitsuhide had hardly begun talking himself before it became outside quebecois and inside English. Unless they left the province, in which case it was a free-for-all that left his few monolingual aunts and uncles dizzy.

Which is to say, Mitsuhide only becomes aware of the precise inner ranking of his languages in moments like this, where gut immediately kicks out a dry ‘j’essaie.’ The translation is vetoed on the grounds that although in quebecois he’s never met a word he couldn’t steep in sarcasm and smuggle in a sacre, he prefers to keep his English so clean it squeaks.

You’ve got it all backwards, Kihal had told him as he sweltered under the San Juan sun, English is fake, you can be as much of an asshole as you want it in, it doesn’t count.

It’s true, there’s something that’s more real to him in French, that’s more real about him, but, well-- there were far fewer cousins to tattle on his potty mouth this way. And now that he knows Obi...

Well, if Kiki ever made good on her threats to teach him any of his “church swears,” he’d probably never sleep easy again. So instead, he scrolls through his mental rolodex of possible appropriate replies before settling on, “Would you like one?”

Zen glances up from his array of pamphlets, glossy paper glaring beneath the overhead lamp. It matches the way Zen is looking at him. “We don’t have time for that.”

Mitsuhide frowns, giving his eggs one last vigorous whisk before pouring them into the pan. “There’s always time for breakfast. It’s the most important meal of the day.”

He glances over just in time to see Zen’s grimace. “Shirayuki really could be your sister.”

There’s really no reason he has to look so horrified by the idea. His brothers may all be broad shouldered, barrel-chested giants, but plenty of his cousins made pocket money in high school through catalogue modeling. And they’re all very nice girls.

He doesn’t mention it. A conversation never ends well if you have to whip out photos of female relatives to prove your point. “Would you like one?” he repeats instead, a safer tactic overall.

Zen’s nose wrinkles beneath some dubiously drawn eyebrows. “Are you putting spinach in there?”

“Kale,” he agrees. “And chicken.”

“In a breakfast omelette?” He clucks his tongue, just the way the Wisteria’s chef would when he attempted to cook at the estate. Quel dommage, he would say, sighing over the cutting board, why would you do that to perfectly good eggs? “Why would you do that?”

Because these muscles don’t come cheap; Mitsuhide chokes down a truly staggering amount of chicken in order to keep them. Roasted, of course-- boiled is technically better for protein, but even he has to draw the line somewhere. The eggs have less, but they are calorie efficient; he’d eat more of them if he could stomach the slimy, snake-like sensation of swallowing them down hard boiled.

But explaining his diet regime usually ended with glazed eyes, so he settles for, “I could always put something different in yours. There’s ham.”

Fancy ham, Obi calls it. It’s just from the deli counter, fresh sliced from whatever quality cut’s on sale, but considering how the first time Obi saw a charcuterie board, he shouted, Oh, Lunchables!--

Well, Mitsuhide can accept that maybe they have different benchmarks for fancy. And somehow just the simple act of calling it that does make it taste better. Or at least more satisfying when it’s shoved between a Hawaiian roll and deli cheese.

There’s a soft shuffle by the kitchen door, and a wild thatch of bristle peeps around the frame. Mitsuhide shakes his head with huff. That’s a new one-- just think the devil’s name and he appears.

Obi lopes into the kitchen, all long limbs and smooth movements, blurring right into the background without any effort at all. He’d gotten Mitsuhide a few times when he’d first moved in, popping up wherever it was sure to be the most inconvenient, grinning like a cat with feathers in its teeth. But once you knew the trick of it, well-- it’s no effort to keep the kid in his sights.

Which is why he has a full, uninterrupted view when Obi slips right up to Zen’s elbow, and asks, “Whatcha doing, chief?”

“Wah!” Pamphlets fly up, a glittering flock of wings swooping beneath the lamp. Zen slaps them down before they can skitter off the table’s edge. “Obi! Make noise for fuck’s sake!”

“Sorry,” he sing-songs, not a sincere note in it. Two long fingers pluck a pamphlet off the wood, twisting it between them. “What’s all this? They starting to put theme parks on exams now?”

“No.” Zen scowls, snatching it out of his hands. “I’m just making today’s itinerary.”

Mitsuhide slides his omelette onto a plate, turning just in time to catch the glance Obi sends him. It somehow says is he fucking with me while also implying I’ll hold him down if we gotta send him to the doctor. “An itinerary?”

He leans a hip against the island, fishing out a fork. What was it Obi always said? Dinner tastes better with a show. Time to find out whether it extends to breakfast too.

Zen fixes Obi with a look that could have had trenches with all its affront. “You can’t go to an amusement park without a plan. How else do you get on all the coasters?”

“It’s only Six Flags New England.” A week ago, the name alone made Obi flee like a cat from a bath, but now every syllable drips with derision, like a sommelier reviewing boxed wine. “They’ve got what? Superman?”

Mitsuhide shoves a corner of his omelette in his mouth. It’s not as good as a sausage, mushroom, and cheese, but, well, it’ll do. “Bizarro.”

“Bizarro.” Obi scoffs. “See? Nothing. Besides, I thought you were the kind of guy to spring for fast passes, boss.”

Zen’s always been sensitive; the sort of kid who tended to pop off when a situation came to a simmer instead of trying to turn down the heat. When Izana had been sitting president, he’s spent half his tenure fielding tense calls, sometimes even climbing into a towncar at a moment’s notice to be taken back east. The school, he’s always say, lifting a shoulder, my brother is proving to be a challenge, and my mother is...unreachable.

He’d thought this Zen kid must be like the ones he knew on the ice, punching first and asking questions later, complaining about being put in the box. All temper and no temperance, Mama used to say when she drove him home, can’t talk when you got plastic between your teeth.

But then he’d met him, undersized and stick-limbed, living in that house with people paid to be invisible. A kid with too much on his shoulders and too many eyes to watch him stumble under it. He’s come a long way from there.

So when Zen squirms in his chair, red already starting to lick up his neck, Mitsuhide doesn’t enjoy it. On the contrary, Zen’s discomfort is his discomfort, a failure of him to keep the watchful eye on him that Izana asked him to.

But it also doesn’t stop him from adding, “Shirayuki believes that waiting in line is part of the amusement park experience.”

Obi looks as though he’s just been told it’s his birthday and Christmas, all rolled into one. “Of course she does.” His mouth sharpens to a wicked grin. “So you’ll be lowering yourself to the peasant’s lines today, huh, Your Highness?”

“Don’t call me that,” he grumbles, swatting him away. “No one’s being lowered anywhere. We won’t be running into any of them so long as we get there early and hit the coasters in the right order.”

Obi coughs. Or at least, makes it sound like he is. “Uh-huh.”

“Where is Shirayuki anyway?” Zen glares at the empty doorway, brows heaving like thunderclouds over the bridge of his nose. “I thought you said you’d get her.”

“I did.” Obi twitches his shoulders; as good as a shrug, from him. “She’s getting ready.”

“It’s been fifteen minutes.” Zen’s glare changes target to him, thunder rolling in the tone of his voice. “Shirayuki doesn’t take this long to get ready.”

When Mitsuhide glances up, chewing around another stab of egg, kale, and chicken, Obi’s eyebrows are already there to meet him. His head tilts, just the barest degree; this is your show, big guy.

Mitsuhide coughs, trying to clear his throat of leaf bits. “Girls,” he starts, the ground sinking beneath him with each word, “like to look nice. Especially when they are on, uh, dates.”

“This isn’t a date,” Zen informs him, more than a little put out. “Obi’s going.”

The sound Obi makes can only be termed as distressed. “I didn’t want to.”

For exactly this reason, is what he doesn’t say. Doesn’t even show it on his face, though it has to be lurking beneath it, considering how he--

Well, considering nothing Mitsuhide knows for sure. But certainly a few things he reasonably suspects.

“Chief.” Obi flips the chair next to him, straddling it. “You know, I really thought it couldn’t be true. I really wanted to give you the benefit of the doubt. But to hear you now--” he leans in, one narrow brow raising the same time his voice drops-- “you really do chicken out when it comes to getting chummy with Doc.”

Mitsuhide nearly chokes on his chicken.

Zen’s red all over, like someone pulled him from a boiling pot and put him on a plate. “You don’t know that.”

“Sure I do,” he says, so easy. “Doc told me.”

“She said that?” His skin’s so flushed Mitsuhide’s half afraid he’ll pass out, but instead he just collapses against the ladderback, head buried in his arms. “Shirayuki?” 

“Pretty much.” Obi sighs, hands braced on the table. “I mean, is it so hard to say she looks nice when she dresses up? Or that you like her hair, or--” he stumbles, shaking his head-- “no, not the hair. Too loaded. But you know, one of her floaty little numbers. Her freckles. Something.”

“I have!”

Obi lifts a dubiously narrow eyebrow. “Like when?”

“Ah...” Whatever the answer is, it’s not helping his blood flow problem. Mitsuhide nearly opens his mouth, searching for a good way to make himself a target-- “The Big E.”

Well, there goes that plan.

Obi’s inquisition crumples into confusion. “What? When did you--”

Every word ekes into the air with the utmost resistance. “When she was wearing your hoodie.”

“When she was wearing my--?” Gold eyes round to coins. “Chief.”

For a solid minute, that’s the only reaction-- wide-eyed disbelief, earned from two sides. But Obi coughs, mouth twitching, and it’s a snort, a smirk, and--

And then Obi launches himself away from the table, both hands still gripping the edge as he falls apart utterly. The chair’s back keeps him from putting his head between his knees, but spiritually he’s there, tears tracking down his cheeks as his laughs wheeze out of him

One hand finally slaps the table, like he’s asking for a time out. Zen frowns down at him, red finally fading to a painful pink. “It’s not that funny.”

“It is,” Obi squeaks, and Mitsuhide has to shove his last bite of omelette into his mouth to stifle his own noises. It’s no good-- Zen whips around and gives him the same glare he’s been saving for Obi.

“If you don’t cut it out,” he says loftily, “I’m going to let a freshman stay in your room.”

Well, that brings Obi up. “Fine,” he coughs, voice still ragged from laughing. “But still. My hoodie.”

“The sleeves hung over her hands! It was cute.” Zen huffs, folding his arms over his chest. “Fine, if I’m so bad, why don’t you two show me how it’s done?”

There’s a pause, long and loaded; enough that Mitsuhide glances up from his plate to see just what tomfoolery he should brace himself to break up--

Only to find Zen staring at him.

Intellectually, Mitsuhide is aware that Zen is a Wisteria. He met him through Izana, after all; he’s been over to the manor, he’s even met their prodigal mother on one of her rare stopovers between vacations. But when he thinks of the name, it’s Izana who springs to mind, the gears churning behind his eyes.

It’s not often that Zen reminds him of his brother; Cookie’s always said that Izana takes after their mother with that long and lean model build, while Zen has always been Kain’s child. But now, now--

He sees it, and it sends a shiver right through him.

With a quirk of his lips, Zen says, so like Izana that if he closed his eyes he wouldn’t know any different, “You first, Mitsuhide.”

Obi’s mouth curves into a leer. “Yeah, Big Guy. Show us the skills that got you Ms Kiki.”

This probably isn’t the time to tell them that it wasn’t him who got her; Mitsuhide hadn’t been trying to do anything more than be the friend she needed, to be a person she could confide in, could trust. People like that were thin on the ground for girls like her; heiress tended to make men see dollar signs instead of personality. But Kiki--

Well, she had other ideas. Ones he’d only cottoned onto when she climbed on top of him and shoved him against the couch cushions with her mouth.

“D-Don’t look at me!” he manages, trying to busy himself with anything. But there’s only a plate to be put in the sink, and a pan to be wiped. Not enough to fake a decent amount of responsibility. “I’m not--”

“Aw, c’mon, Big Man. Don’t leave us hanging.” Obi leans back, grin so wide it practically splits his face. “Lemme paint the scene. You’re single, Doc is adorable, and she’s waiting there--” he gestures to Zen, who flutters his eyelashes in precisely the way Shirayuki doesn’t-- “for you to make your move. Go!”

He could point out he’s not single, and that he doesn’t have any plans to change that anytime soon-- but that only ends in one way: a two-pronged mockery with additional ridicule provided by the impending arrival of his better half. He could also point out that of all the people in this room, he’s the only one who hasn’t wanted to date Shirayuki, but-- well, the problems with that one were obvious.

Instead, Mitsuhide takes in a deep breath, learns on the counter, and says, “Why, Shirayuki! You’re looking beautiful this morning. Those shorts really flatter your legs.”

There is a long silence, and then to everlasting embarrassment, they burst out laughing.

“Her shorts?” Zen’s hand is pressed to his chest, like he needs support to keep upright. “That’s all you can think of? Her shorts?”

“Well, Obi said not to do her hair,” he protests. “Complimenting her dress seemed like low hanging fruit. I was trying to be unique.”

Obi doesn’t even bother to remain horizontal, sprawling himself over the long forgotten maps. “So you went for her legs?”

“There’s nothing wrong with legs!”

“Oh, no, of course not,” Zen sputters out in an effort to keep his mouth straight. “Definitely a very neutral place to comment on.”

“Definitely not known for being attached to things like asses.” Obi’s mouth twitches, as much a sign for danger as thunder rolling in the distance. “Or puss--”

“I was not trying to comment on that.” He’d felt bad for Zen earlier, but the sentiment doesn’t seem mutual. “It’s not typical, sure, but Kiki never seems to mind when I compliment--”

“Kiki?” Zen squawks. “Kiki?”

“Well, I think we’re all learning a little too much about Big Guy today,” Obi wheezes. “Mainly that it’s Ms Kiki that chased him, and not the other way around.”

“Yeah.” Zen shakes his head, long and slow and solemn, like a doctor about to give a terminal diagnosis. “No game at all.”

Mitsuhide’s not a competitive man. Sure, he was forward on the ice, the kind of player that got sent to the box before the end of the first half and slid right into the captain spot when it was vacant. Aggression is part of the game, competition laced in every turn of his skate and lift of his stick, but that’s a different situation, a different language--

But it’s that part of him that surges beneath his skin right now, that makes him want to saunter over and put both hands on that rickety, painted wood until it creaks. That makes him want to take a full minute to bend down, showing off every centimeter of his one-ninety plus, and ask real low if either of them has made a girl beg on their cock lately, but--

He puts it in its place. That sort of talk always sounded better en français anyway.

Zen waves his hand, slipping his pamphlets out from under Obi. “Anyway, enough messing around. Are you still making omelettes, Mitsuhide?”

“Ohh, omelettes?” Obi spins to him with wide eyes. “Can I get mine with fancy ham?”

Mitsuhide blinks. “Wait, aren’t you going to do your take?”

“Nah.”

Zen shrugs. “Joke’s over.”

“So I just did that for no reason--?”

“I wouldn’t say no reason,” Zen wheedles. “It was very educational.”

Obi grins. “Mainly about how Big Guy likes legs--”

“Oh,” drawls a voice that makes his body go cold and hot at the same time. When he turns, it’s Kiki leaning against the jamb, a single elegant brow raised, excusing amusement and menace in equal measure. “Am I to take it that the show is over?”

“K-kiki,” he stammers. “How long--?”

“Hm.” She saunters over to the counter, slipping onto a stool with a casual grace that still leaves his mouth dry. “Long enough. I have to admit, I was looking forward to seeing a display of Obi’s fabled moves.”

“Ms Kiki,” Obi simpers, pressing a hand to his chest. “I’d be happy to give you a personal demonstration anytime.”

Both her brows raise. “Did I say I was desperate?”

He’s saved from Obi’s answer by Shirayuki padding into the kitchen, flushed and breathless. “Oh, you were right Kiki! Everyone is already ready. Sorry to make you wait.”

There’s a hesitation in the air, and Mitsuhide can’t figure it out, not until he sees-- she’s wearing shorts.

Shirayuki blinks. “Is something wrong?”

“Oh, I don’t know,” Kiki hums, sending him a gaze so wicked it should be illegal outside the bedroom. “Do you have anything to say to her, Mitsuhide?”

“No!” It comes out a little too harsh, a little too loud. “I mean, I, uh...like your sandals!”

“Sandals,” Obi snickers, a sound that’s only covered by Zen’s hushed, “Shut up.”

“Oh!” She blinks down. “Thank you. I got them at Payless. I, um, don’t think they make them in your size.”

“No,” he manages mildly. “I don’t imagine they would.”

“You do look real cute, Doc,” Obi chimes in, slinking out of his seat to circle around her. “Did you dress up for today?”

Zen makes a noise, somewhere between a choke and a gasp, but even with the pink brushing her cheeks, Shirayuki’s too used to his antics to do much more than sigh.

“Of course I did, Obi.” Her fists perch high on her hips, cocked as she talks to him. “It’s the last time we’re all going to be going out together, isn’t it? What could be more special than that?”

Mitsuhide may not be a competitive man, and especially isn’t a malicious one, but when Obi’s jaw goes slack, the tips of his ears darkening just the slightest bit, well-- he does indulge in the slightest bit of schadenfreude.

“Well,” Zen says, a little sharp. “Let’s get going.”

“Aw!” Obi whips around. “What about fancy ham?”

“I don’t think you need--”

“Oh, I haven’t had breakfast either!” Shirayuki adds, eyes wide. “Do we have time?”

Zen hesitates, and then with a sigh, relents. “We’ll stop at Dunkies.”

#obiyuki #akagami no shirayukihime #snow white with the red hair #The Wide Florida Bay #modern au #my fic #ans #mitsuhide gets so few POVs in the fic I can't help but let them get away from me okay #he's a gift #the actual six flags chapters are gonna have rotating POV #and it was just supposed to START with him #but then i was like WHAT IF I INCLUDED THE SCENE FROM BEFORE THE CANON DATE #and now we are here

[artificialqueens]

Donatella (Taywhora) - Holtzmanns

read on ao3 | word count: 2924

George’s hand lingers on Tayce’s shoulder for a millisecond too long once he’s done adjusting his outfit, before he lets it drop to the side. There’s a tiny hint of disappointment that swirls in his chest upon the realization that he has to move on to another model, because the show is about to start any minute, and the last thing he wants to do is piss off the show director, who already has a vein throbbing along her forehead as she yells at the poor man fiddling with the lighting fixtures-

“Hey. Go ahead. I won’t take it personal,” Tayce murmurs, and the twinkle in his eyes lets George know that he’s absolutely taking the piss.

Nonetheless, he’s powerless to stop the upward curve of his own lips. “No?”

“Maybe a little.”

He swears he sees Tayce wink, but maybe that’s just the brightness of the fluorescents overhead.

A/N: Hi, I'm still alive, I swear. Life has been fun and also full to the brim of changes, though I'm trying my best to get back into the groove of writing again. Next chapter of vampire fic (and maybe level up) to be revisited soon for sure. In the meantime, enjoy this short and sweet oneshot and let me know what you think! Thank you Writ for betaing 💖

The final day of London Fashion Week tends to feel like the culmination of a week-long bender.

It sort of is, if the thin white lines of powder on blatant display on the dressing room tables are any indication. Not that George has gone near them, not today. Not when tonight’s the Versace show and he’s cut most of these garments and helped to sew at least two of them, and they’re going to be out on the runway in half an hour’s time. Grunt work is the opposite of glamorous when he’s hunched over a sewing machine at two in the morning, but it’s worth it at times like this, when he’s about to show his work with fucking Versace.

Well, not George’s own designs. Not yet. But he has to start somewhere, doesn’t he?

George tries not to wrinkle his nose when the model whose dress he’s pinning lights up a cigarette in between her fingers. Backstage at Fashion Week is never too strict when it comes to smoking, because hell, the big names would throw a fit. It does raise George’s blood pressure just a tad, though, when the ash that the model taps off of her cigarette falls just a little too close to the dress.

He refuses to have his creations ruined by accidental ignition.

It’s almost a relief from George to step away from her, moving onto the model beside her who’s not smoking, thank the heavens, except-

“I remember you!”

Oh, no.

Tayce, at least that’s what George thinks his name is, remains as gorgeous as he was during his fittings a few weeks back. Enough to make George’s carefully planned comebacks fall to the wayside, leaving his lungs empty because of the sharpness of Tayce’s jawline and the sparkle in his eyes. There’s something about Tayce that dries up any remnants of confidence swirling around in George’s system, enough so that he turns into a bloody schoolgirl with a crush.

Not that he has one. He’s at work, for God’s sake.

“I remember you too. Funny how memory works, isn’t it?”

Shy George can sometimes get snarky. Not in a mean way, though. He hopes.

Luckily, Tayce doesn’t seem very bothered. In fact, his smile grows bigger as George kneels down, fiddling with the sides of the trousers he’s got on for the show. The blue fabric isn’t falling quite right, but maybe George can take them in a smidge with a few pins so that they’re more streamlined-

“You’re cute when you’re focused with a handful of pins in your mouth,” Tayce’s wry voice distracts George from the fabric in his hands, and he nearly nicks himself in the process.

He curses internally, not only because of the poke on his finger but also because he probably looks right clumsy in front of Tayce. Model Tayce who knows he’s the shit, if the way he stomps down the runway is any indication, the very one who has an amused look on his face due to George’s internal turmoil.

“Are you trying to make yourself late for the runway?” George asks, but he can’t be stern the way he wants to, not when Tayce is so ridiculously charming and looking at him like he’s a challenge he wants to solve.

Tayce lets out a scoff. “Please. We both know these shindigs never start on time. My afternoon show was forty five minutes late and I wasn’t even the last one to show up.”

George snorts as he gathers the fabric once more. “Oh right, you were second last, weren’t you?”

“The cheek!” Tayce exclaims, crossing his arms, and George only has to shoot eyes in his direction for him to return to his original position, enough so that the fabric falls properly. “I’m on time, everyone else is simply early. Isn’t that the saying?”

George pauses. “Isn’t that from The Princess Diaries ?”

“So what?” Tayce shrugs. “I may have watched that movie but you have too, right? Recognized it and all.”

“Course I did. You don’t take me for someone with shit taste in movies, do you?” George asks as he gets back to his feet, scanning his gaze down Tayce’s torso to make sure his shirt is falling properly, nothing more.

He can feel Tayce’s gaze on him in return and it almost wants to keep him from looking up, because if he does then Tayce is surely going to notice when his cheeks inevitably redden.

Better to focus. Since he’s at work and all.

George barely taps on Tayce’s shoulder, a cue for him to turn around and Tayce readily does so without question, pushing his shoulders back. It’s as if Tayce already knows what George is looking for, anticipating his moves before he has the chance to make them clear. Nothing different from what Tayce would do with any other stylist responsible for checking his garments before a show, but it still feels as if Tayce is paying attention. Noticing George’s little routine.

It’s enough to make his heart beat just a little bit faster.

George’s hand lingers on Tayce’s shoulder for a millisecond too long once he’s done adjusting his outfit, before he lets it drop to the side. There’s a tiny hint of disappointment that swirls in his chest upon the realization that he has to move on to another model, because the show is about to start any minute, and the last thing he wants to do is piss off the show director, who already has a vein throbbing along her forehead as she yells at the poor man fiddling with the lighting fixtures-

“Hey. Go ahead. I won’t take it personal,” Tayce murmurs, and the twinkle in his eyes lets George know that he’s absolutely taking the piss.

Nonetheless, he’s powerless to stop the upward curve of his own lips. “No?”

“Maybe a little.”

He swears he sees Tayce wink, but maybe that’s just the brightness of the fluorescents overhead.

George can feel Tayce’s eyes on him as he moves on to the next few models, taking a fraction of the time because really, they don’t need that detailed of a onceover. It’s all for the best because the crowd is quieting on the other side of the curtains and the lights are bright enough to make George squint, even while backstage, as the line of models head out one after another.

Being in the audience for a show is night and day from actually working backstage - it’s as if the curtains dull all of the yelling, the quick-changes, the utter chaos that threatens to spill out onto the stage itself. Once the show starts George runs back and forth, darting between models to help them into their next looks, the rich colours draped along their figures looking straight out of an oil painting, one that he’s lucky to have helped to create. He almost doesn’t notice when he reaches Tayce once more, too caught up with the blueprints of all of the looks in his head until he feels a flick against his shoulder.

“Mighty brave, tugging on my clothes before even saying hello,” Tayce grins, somehow cool as a cucumber while shimmying into the blazer that George holds out for him, the patterns on the sleeves catching in the light.

George has to ignore the slight stammer that catches his tongue, hoping the chaos of the show is enough that Tayce doesn’t either. “I don’t see you complaining about it.”

“Who says I’m complaining?” Tayce throws back, holding George’s gaze before tilting his head to the side, “you’re better than old Muriel over there.”

George has to hold in a laugh as he follows Tayce’s gaze. The older stylist he’s pointing to has been on the scene for decades upon decades, working with the likes of Kate Moss and Naomi Campbell, and someone George could really learn from, though he’s learned to keep his distance. Probably for the best, because as George watches, she barks at the model whose dress she’s adjusting and passes her the sandwich in her grip so that she can use both of her hands for the job.

Tayce makes a face. “So pushy. And I swear, she wears the same perfume as my nan. Can’t forget the scent of Guerlain Shalimar.”

“Muriel’s bringing back those memories, then?” George asks, snorting when Tayce lets out a shudder.

“Just imagine Muriel as your nan. She wouldn’t feed you Sunday roast until she’d gotten you in cute little outfits with lace and petticoats, all the while threatening to put out her cigarette on your arm if you moved even a centimetre.”

“What an upbringing,” George whistles as he gives Tayce a onceover. “There. Good to go. Back to your place in line, then.”

Tayce blows a kiss, and George swears it’s for the sole purpose of making his face flush beet red, if Tayce’s delighted snicker as he walks away is any indication.

George finds himself peeking over at the curtains leading to the edge of the runway more than once as he’s running around backstage between the clothing racks and all the models, travel sewing kit in hand. Maybe it’s a bit pathetic to keep a constant eye out for Tayce every time he steps off the runway, but George can’t help it. Not when Tayce manages to catch his eye right back every single time.

Tayce sidles up to George once the show’s over and he’s packing up the clothes for travel, taking extra care of the ones he’s helped to put together. No matter how many collections he’s participated in, endless hours of painstaking work, it somehow still feels special. The excitement of it all hasn’t quite worn off just yet. George reaches for a garment bag but Tayce plucks it from the rack before he can, unzipping it so that George can stuff in the dress that’s currently draped across his arms.

Tayce grabs another bag and does the same thing, and it makes George pause for a second, look over towards him. “Don’t you have the afterparty to go to?”

George remembers his first Fashion Week back when he was a student, when the afterparties were glitz and glam and miles away from the clubs near Worksop. All the celebrities and the models and the designers that he would try to network with while they were drunk off their tits, so it would never get too far, anyway. Still, though, it felt almost thrilling.

Now, though, it feels like the novelty has worn off. The seventy-hour work week that is required during London Fashion Week, combined with very little sleep, means that the first thing George wants to do after helping with the pack up is go back to his flat and crash.

“I came here to ask you the same thing,” Tayce counters, rocking on his feet and not looking tired in the least.

George, though, shakes his head. “Me? Nah. I’m knackered.”

“Oh, c’mon,” Tayce gives him a look. “It’s the last day. What else are you up to tomorrow, anyway? You can sleep in, can’t you?”

“I can also sleep now,” George shrugs, and the dramatic sigh that Tayce lets out makes him grin.

It’s sort of nice to feel wanted, almost.

And so George acquiesces, because the possibility of spending more time with Tayce, with Tayce even wanting to spend time with him, is enough to set off a current in his veins and wake him up despite the late hour. “Fine. I’ll only come for a little bit, though. Then it’s bedtime for me.”

The triumphant yell out of Tayce’s mouth makes it worth it, even as Muriel shoots them a dirty look.

Sleep is overrated, George has decided.

It doesn’t come close to the alternative, his current reality where Tayce is tipping back a shot as the chains around his neck catch on the pulsing lights overhead. It’s Tayce’s second one in a row without so much as a wince, and maybe it’s because the bar has watered down the drinks the closer the clock gets to midnight, but it’s hard for George to look away nonetheless.

Tayce doesn’t call him out on it but instead grabs his hand with a glint in his eye, as if the attention is pure energy that charges his system. George swears he feels the electricity through their connected palms.

The way Tayce dances parallels his runway walk - he’s determined with his movements while simultaneously the mirror image of a gazelle getting used to its long limbs as he throws his arms up. Not that it’s a bad look on Tayce, not in the least. Maybe it’s Tayce’s confidence, or maybe it’s just the way George has fallen in too deep, but it works on him.

Tayce tugs on the corner of his shirt before he spins in place, his yell barely audible over the music. “Dance floors aren’t made for standing like a statue. C’mon, then.”

George can accept the fact that Tayce won’t remember tonight with his inevitable hangover tomorrow anyway, while simultaneously wanting to keep himself from looking like an idiot. “I don’t dance.”

“Sure you do,” Tayce chirps, lifting their intertwined hands as if they’re ballroom partners, but pauses when George lets out a squeak. “Wait. Babe, you’re stiffer than Dua Lipa attempting an eight count.”

“I told you!” George huffs, but the embarrassment he expects to feel doesn’t heat his cheeks up, because Tayce is too busy flinging his own limbs around in some sort of interpretation of the music.

It’s almost refreshing, the way Tayce doesn’t seem to care about what other people think, how he almost feeds off of the attention because none of it is ever negative. Even if it was, George isn’t sure that Tayce would ever let any of it tear him down, because he seems more the type to let it roll off of him without so much as a glance over.

It’s not until the remix overhead blends in some Gaga that George feels inclined to sing along, move his hips and his arms a little more because he’s self conscious, yes, but he also has an appreciation for the finer artists in life. He doesn’t miss the way Tayce’s face lights up, the whoop he lets out audible over the music before he grabs both of George’s hands once more as he dances.

“Atta boy!”

George wants to swear that the crowdedness of the dance floor is responsible for how close he’s getting to Tayce, because he doesn’t remember taking a step but Tayce is close enough that George can see the glitter on his cheekbones, the one hair curl swooping onto his forehead. It has to be the crowd that’s pushing them together for sure, enough that Tayce’s fingers are trailing down his biceps and along his waist and grabbing onto his belt loops to tug him in closer.

George lifts his eyebrows up in question, ignoring the way his heart is pounding and the racing thoughts in his head, because if he focuses too much on them he’s going to lose his mind. So instead he watches the way Tayce nods, biting his lip and the subtle waft of cologne that hits him when Tayce wraps his arms around his neck makes his eyes flutter.

Tayce kisses the same way that he moves on the dance floor - unabashed, taking, enough to leave George breathless and gasping, but who needs to come up for air when Tayce invades all of his senses so deliciously? George rakes his nails along the silk on Tayce’s back, and Tayce’s hiss against his mouth is intoxicating, muddying his thoughts more so than the alcohol flowing through his veins.

Tayce’s eyes are unfocused, dazed when they pull apart and it’s the first time George has seen him look anything less than in control. “Fucking hell.”

“Is that a good thing or a bad thing?” George can’t help the way his pitch rises in concern as he nearly has to yell over the music, because what if Tayce is more disgusted than anything-

“You idiot,” Tayce snorts, pulling him closer again with a hand on his waist, and George can feel the smile on his lips when they kiss. “What do you think?”

“Just checking,” George mumbles sheepishly, though the chagrin fades when Tayce pulls their hips up against each other and he can feel… oh.

A good thing, then.

“Happy end to Fashion Week, indeed,” George gets out, leaning in closer to Tayce, but it’s short lived when Tayce pulls back, and George has to stop himself from pouting.

Tayce looks entirely too gleeful as his fingers gather in the hair on the nape of George’s neck. “Shall we end it with a bang, then?”

“Oh my god,” George mutters, shaking his head, and it only exacerbates Tayce’s snickering. “Is that really how you get others into bed with you?”

“Is it working?” Tayce asks, and George pauses, his eyes catching on the curve of Tayce’s eyebrow, the sheen of his skin.

As if his answer would be anything else.

So George intertwines their hands, gives a little tug to pull them off of the dance floor, and snorts when Tayce lets out a whoop. Tayce is ridiculous yet somehow suave and hot all at once, a puzzle  that George hasn’t quite solved.

Though with their fingers linked as they head out the back door of the club, George is looking forward to getting the chance to do so.

#rpdr fanfiction #rpdr uk #uk2 #taywhora #tayce #a'whora #m/m au #fashion au #holtzmanns

[bqstqnbruin]

Come back to me part 2

It’s been a hot minute since I posted the first one so SORRY.

But here’s part 2, shoutout to the AMAZING @yes-he-mccann​ for reading it and helping me out with this ilysm ♥♥♥

Update! Read the entire series: Part 1 // Part 3 // Part 4 // Part 5 // Part 6  // Part 7

_________________________

The sounds of the bar around you disappeared as you felt yourself getting lost in the arms of the boy that was once yours. There was something different about hugging Mat. Hugging him felt like sitting down in a cozy sweater, with a cup of tea and a good book, watching the snow fall outside of your window while the fire rages on in the fireplace. It was comforting, warm, everything that you wanted to be. It was nothing like hugging Kyle. Hugging him was the cozy sweater, but no tea, no book, no snowfall, or fire. It was like something with Kyle was missing. Wait, no, this was just the alcohol talking. But you really weren’t drunk enough for the alcohol to do much talking. 

“So,” you start, “You have to tell me about playing with the Islanders! I haven’t really been following hockey since you left if we’re being honest.”

“Ah, we’re shitty right now. Too ‘in our heads,’ not enough in the opponents, letting in easy goals, not scoring on easy chances,” he starts rambling, watching the smile grow on your face. You never were really too into hockey, but for some reason, you were the person he loved to talk about it with. And you loved to listen to him. You two could be driving around the middle of nowhere back home, and he would be rambling on and on about the game he had the other day. Nothing could make you happier than sitting there with him and listening to him talk about something he was so passionate about. 

Now that you think about it as he continues to ramble, you couldn’t remember the last time you were that happy with someone than when you would just do nothing with Mat. Sure, you only dated for a short amount of time, but were you happier with him than you were with Kyle, or were you just younger and more naive? 

You end up getting lost thinking about what your life would have been like if you and Mat had stayed together if he hadn’t moved for hockey. Or would you have stayed together despite his move? Would you end up in New York regardless of a job if it meant being here with him? No. No. You were with Kyle. Not only were you with Kyle, but you were also engaged to Kyle. 

“But I’m here with some of the guys, actually. I think you would like them,” he says, gesturing over to two of the boys already making their way over to the stools you two were taking up. “This is Anthony and Kieffer.” 

“Oh, wait, you’re the one Mat met when you guys played for Team Canada, what was it, U19s or something?” you ask the one with curly hair.

“No, actually, that was me,” the other one says, “That one is Kieffer.” 

“Sorry,” you apologize as they take seats on either side of you and Mat. The two of them start bombarding you with questions about your life, almost as if they already knew what to ask you before they even met you.

“So what was Mat like when he was younger?”

“What brought you to New York?”

“Where do you work?”

“Do you like it better here or in Vancouver?”

“Did you come here alone?”

Before you could answer the last one, Anthony groans, starting to mumble something under his breath that you can’t make out while he digs through his pockets. He whips out his phone, handing it to Matthew, “Satan somehow managed to get my number, and I’m not going to deal with it.”

“Let it ring. I don’t have to answer to him,” Mat says, crossing his arms as Tito continues to shove the phone at him.

“No. You are going to answer him. Because Paxton has called me eight times and you’ve only been sitting here for an hour. So answer him,” he insists, almost talking down to Mat.

He slides to answer the phone, holding it to Mat’s ear even if he refuses to hold it himself. “Hello?” Mat finally says, taking the phone from him, “I didn’t even know his name was Paxton,” he says to you three before walking off to somewhere else.

“Should I be worried that you know someone who you equate to Satan?” you ask, looking back and forth between Anthony and Kieffer.

They both roll their eyes, you not able to tell if they were rolling their eyes at the idea of the person they were talking about or at the question you asked.

“His girlfriend is this model and Paxton is her agent,” Kieffer starts to explain, only to be cut off by Anthony. 

“No, Mona and Mat just use each other as arm candy and Paxton harasses Mat into going places with Mona so she ‘can be seen,’” he says, using air quotes around that last part. “If you ask me, they’re no boyfriend and girlfriend than he and I are.” 

“You’re right since you would be boyfriend and boyfriend and the entire team knows that if you were gay that you would probably date Mat, anyway,” Kieffer says, raising his glass to Tito.

The two toast each other in front of your face, you having no idea what they were even talking about. “He’s an attractive man. That jawline? I would only be so lucky,” Anthony says.

“Don’t forget the Disney prince hair.”

“And the eyebrows,” the two joke, watching in awe at the interaction. “But, Y/N, tell us about your fiance?”

“Oh, Mat told you I was engaged?” you ask, trying to remember if you even told them in the first place.

“Uh, no, the rock on your finger did.” 

You look down at your left hand, forgetting that you even had the ring on the first place. Part of you wanted to take it off as your face turned red with embarrassment. You were debating on even wearing the ring out in the first place. “Oh, right. Uh, his name is Kyle, we got together during the last year of high school and we’ve been together since. Mat knows him, too,” you explain, the boys looking at each other instead of you.

Even they could tell something wasn’t quite right as you played with the ring, slipping it up and down your finger as if to take if off altogether. “Well, let’s see him,” Kieffer insists. 

You pull out your phone, trying to think of where your most recent photo with him was. When was the last time you even took a photo together? Your engagement was done privately and in the spur of the moment, you weren’t one to get your picture taken to begin with, and when you wanted to be in a photo, Kyle was almost never there. Finally finding one from back when you were in college, you show the boys. It was the night of your birthday, which one, you couldn’t even remember. Kyle was hugging you from behind, beaming at the camera, while you were looking off to the side, smiling. You don’t even remember what it was that you were looking at, but you know it wasn’t because of Kyle. 

The two boys look between each other and the photo. Something seems off about you and Kyle together. It was almost like he was just a filler in your life, even though they were just looking at a picture of a guy they had never met. They both know what the other was thinking: you looked more comfortable with Mat than you did with Kyle. 

“Mona, I told you, I’m out with the guys right now. I’m not dropped everything to leave them and be with you. I’ll talk to you tomorrow, goodnight,” Mat finally comes back, practically throwing the phone at Anthony out of frustration. The vein on his neck was beginning to pop out, something you hadn’t seen in ages since he got thrown out of a game when you were younger for checking a kid when he was tripped and accidentally hit him. “God, I hate talking to her.”

“Dump. Her,” Tito insists. That was becoming his catchphrase, he said it so often.

“Stop. Saying. That.”

“It might not be my place,” you start, “But I’ve known you since we were, what, five? You’ve never been happy around people you can’t figure out how to talk to. If you can’t talk to your girlfriend, then,” you stop, trying to figure out if you should put it as bluntly as Anthony did, “you should probably reevaluate the relationship.” 

The bartender comes up to Mat, asking him if he wanted a refill, “Uh, sure, another beer for the three of us, and a rum and coke for you?” he asks, pointing to you.

“That’s my go-to order, how did you know that?” 

Mat shrugs, the look on his face telling you that he was asking himself the same thing. “It just seems like the kind of drink you would order. You would get a coke every time we would go out for food. And every time you would say something about how you want to stop drinking so much soda because of how much sugar was in it, and that you were eventually going to switch to tea, and then to water, and part of me thinks you never did, knowing you,” the smile returning to his face as he realizes how he knew. 

You probably told Kyle the same thing a hundred times, too. But every time he tries to order a drink for you, he always forgets that even drink soda, and ends up getting you some weird fruity drink on the menu that he always says you’ll enjoy, even though you hate fruity drinks. Why does Mat remember something from so long ago? 

-------

“So, how was your conversation with Mona yesterday”? Tito asks once he and Mat were back in their locker room after practice. 

“She whined, she complained, Paxton left a five and a half minute voice mail that ended with, ‘if you go out without Mona when she tells you she wants to go out, you are no longer her boyfriend.’ I didn’t even know the man’s name until last night and now he’s telling me that he decides that I’m not her boyfriend,” Mat tells him, not really in the mood to explain much more. Somehow, one of Mona’s friends saw Mat with you last night and took a picture of the two of you sitting at the bar, which provoked the phone call to Tito in the first place. No matter how many times he told her you were just a friend from home, she didn’t believe him. Especially once she found an old Instagram photo from when you were together that you never took down with some sappy caption about how much you liked Mat. Apparently, it wasn’t good for Mona’s ‘image’ for her boyfriend to be seen at a bar with another girl, no matter who she was.

“You already know that I’m going to tell you to dump her.” 

“Who, Mona. Yeah, break up with her,” Kieffer comes over and joins the conversation.

“Yep, sure,” Mat says, sarcastically as if he would actually do that right now. Like he told Tito the other day, he’s not going to do that; it’s just for fun right now, even if it was turning into more work than anything. 

“What about Y/N, haven’t you been texting her since she left the bar with her friends?” Tito asks.

“What about her?”

“She’s the wife,” Tito says, as if it were obvious.

“No, she’s Kyle’s fiance.”

“No, remember how I told you to look for your wife? Stop fooling around with Mona? Y/N is your wife.”

Mat rolls his eyes. You were already engaged. The guy uprooted his entire life for you. There was no way that was going to end unless he majorly messed up somehow. “No, she’s not.” 

Kieffer looks at Tito getting giddy at the idea of you and Mat ending up together. “Ok, we can ignore him,” he says, pushing himself between Mat and Tito, “I wouldn’t go as far as saying wife, but there was definitely something there. She was very different talking to you compared to when she was talking to Kyle. Even the photos of them compared to the one we found of you two were worlds apart.” Mat tries to remember them even talking about Kyle. They must have done it when he was talking to Mona, which means they’re seeing something he’s not. 

“Ok, sit down. We’re having a serious conversation and I’m tired from practice,” Kieffer says, pulling Tito and Mat down to the floor with him, the rest of the guys still mulling around them, trying to get in the zone for their game tomorrow night. Another loss would not bode well for anyone, at this point. “Do you love Mona?”

“No,” Mat responds, Tito muttering ‘thank god’ under his breath. It wasn’t even something Mat needed to think about; he knew he didn’t love Mona. 

“Do you see yourself falling in love with her?”

Mat hesitates, even though he already knows the answer, “Probably not.”

“Did you love Y/N?”

“Yeah,” he admits, again without hesitation. Part of him was convinced that you were the only thing he loved beside hockey. 

“Do you still love her?” 

Mat looks between Kieffer and his hands which are suddenly shaking. He remembers falling in love with you; from your laugh to the way you fidget with the hem of your shirt when you’re nervous, how you get lost in the book you’re reading and get absorbed in the world of the story so much so that the world around you almost doesn’t exist, that the two of you have the same favorite ice cream flavor, your favorite pair of shoes growing up was your converse, and how you nearly killed him when he spilled paint on them during art class when you were 10, so he saved up his money to buy you two new pairs in case he got paint on a pair again. But did he ever actually fall out of love with you? 

“I might.”

-------------

You wake up to the sun shining into your room, Kyle sitting up scrolling through Twitter on his phone, and a cup of coffee already on your bedside table, hopefully, made just the way you liked it. “Good morning, beautiful, Kyle says, pulling you in for a kiss once he realizes you’re away. “I have an idea.” 

“Ideas already?” you ask, taking a sip of the coffee. Way too much sugar, but he had gone through the trouble of making in the first place, so you just had to grin and bear it. 

“Why don’t we go into the city and explore? We finished unpacking everything yesterday so what else were we going to do? We could do Central Park and have a picnic there and be all sappy like you love to be,” he suggests, starting to get out of bed.

You were thankful his back was facing you, since you definitely made a face when he said you loved being sappy. You were pretty against PDA, something he knew pretty well. At most, you would tolerate holding his hand or kissing his cheek, but anything more romantic you never wanted to do. He was trying to do something sweet, though, so it was the thought that counts, right?

“I love that idea,” you tell him, starting to get ready. 

“Oh, you never told me how the other night went when you were out with the girls,” Kyle calls from the bathroom. 

“Uh it was fun,” you call. Do you tell him about Mat now, or not at all? You two had been texting pretty much nonstop since that night. You picked up pretty much where you left off all those years ago, but it was almost like no time had passed at all. 

Kyle doesn’t even give you the chance to say anything else, he just starts talking about god only knows what. You couldn’t even pay attention to him, your mind wandering as Mat sent you another text before he went off to practice. There was nothing going on between you and Mat. But why did you have to tell yourself that in the first place? And why did your heart flutter every time his name popped up on your screen?

You had to admit, Kyle had the right idea. He packed a picnic for you, which you were now unpacking in the middle of Central Park. Around you, families were playing, college students were throwing a frisbee, people were going for runs, there were people lying on the grass reading. New York was such a chaotic city, but you loved it. It was a welcome change of pace from what you had grown up with in Vancouver.

Your phone buzzes, snapping you out of your admiration of the people around you. Kyle catches a glimpse of the contact. “Mat Barzal? Like your ex Mat Barzal?” 

“Yeah, I met him at the bar the other night. I thought I told you,” you lie, knowing that you didn’t as you answer his text. You can’t help but smile at what he sent, obviously upsetting Kyle.

“No. You didn’t.” His tone had changed from the cheery one it was in the morning to ice cold. No one would be happy that their fiance was suddenly back in contact with their ex, so you understood why. But it was Mat. You hadn’t seen him in years. 

“He’s just a friend. He’s someone we both know from home, it wouldn’t hurt to talk to him everyone once in a while.” 

“Why not invite him out with us tonight?” Kyle suggests, his cheeks red as he looks at his food and not you.

“We were going out tonight?” 

“I mean, yeah, why not. You’re right. He’s a familiar face in a foreign city. It wouldn’t hurt to know someone.” 

“Are you sure?” Kyle’s tone suggested that he wasn’t. None of his body language matched what he said he wanted. He nods, even though he doesn’t want to. You text Mat, asking him to go out with you and Kyle that night. You already knew it was going to be a bad idea. “He said sure,” you tell Kyle once Mat responds.

“Want to hand me the dessert?” Kyle asks.

“Sure,” you say, digging around in the bag, not really knowing what to be looking for. You find a bag of cookies, “These?”

“Yeah.” 

“What kind are they?” you ask him, handing them to him. 

He opens the bag, the smell hitting you immediately. “Your favorite: peanut butter chocolate chip.”

“Kyle, what do you mean?” you squeal, pretty much jumping up from the blanket, “I’m allergic to peanut butter, put those away!” How could he forget something like that?

-------

Mat couldn’t believe when you had texted him inviting him to dinner, especially since he couldn’t stop thinking about taking you out as it was. What shocked him even more was when you told him Kyle was going to be there, too. You told him to meet you at seven, and it was 7:07, him running not too late, but late enough that he was frazzled. 

He finally makes his way to the restaurant, finding you immediately. Something about seeing you calmed his nerves, but seeing you with Kyle made him frantic again. You and Kyle were sitting on separate sides, neither of you talking to each other but looking at your phones instead. As soon as you made eye contact with him, Mat could feel his breath stop. He never did stop loving you, even though he didn’t tell Tito and Kieffer. Seeing you with your fiance did not sit right. All he could do was be your friend. 

“Hi, I’m so sorry I’m late,” he apologizes, slipping into the seat next to you. 

“No, it’s fine,” you say, at the same time as Kyle saying, “I guess with an NHL salary you couldn’t afford a better watch, eh?” 

“Kyle!” you scoff. You knew this was a bad idea, and already, Mat regretted saying yes. 

“It was just a joke,” he shrugs, not looking up from his phone. 

You mouth, ‘I’m sorry’ to Mat, him just shaking it off. He tries to make conversation with Kyle, but with no success. Every time he asked Kyle a question, Kyle responded with a short, one-worded answer. He never looked up from his food or his phone, he didn’t so much as look at you or Mat in the eye during the conversation. At one point, you and Mat just pick up the conversation you were having the entire day. 

“Excuse me, sweetie,” an older couple comes up to your table, “We just wanted to say how cute you and your fiance are,” she motions between you and Mat. You both try to open your mouth to protest, but they leave before you can correct her. 

“Great,” Kyle says, throwing his napkin on the table and getting up to leave. You don’t know if he intended on going home, but frankly, you would rather leave without him. You didn’t feel like having a fight with him in the Uber anyway.

“Shouldn’t you go after him?” Mat asks, shocked that you were even still sitting next to him.

“I don’t really want to,” you admit, staring at your plate of food. “Plus, we invited you out, I’m not going to leave you with the bill.”

He sits there, studying your face. He can see the tears start to form in your eyes, you fidgeting with your ring again, sliding it up and down your finger as if you wanted to take it off right there. “If you stuck me with the bill, I would just Venmo request you for twice what it came out to be,” he jokes, hoping to lighten the mood at least a little.

You laugh, shaking your head at him. “Yeah, we both know with that NHL salary that you can’t even afford a watch.” The two of you sit in silence for a moment, you debating on asking him what you wanted to. Mat wanted to ask you why you were with Kyle in the first place. Why would you be with a guy who acted like that in front of an old friend? Ex or not, you should still be civil. “Do you remember what kind of cookies I liked?” you ask him, praying that he wouldn’t.

But of course, he did. “Store-bought, you love those Keebler chocolate chip ones with the M&M’s. But homemade?” he stops, trying to wrack his brain to remember, “You used to love those sugar cookies that my mom made. Remember with the homemade icing? She told me that when you graduated from high school and from college that she made them for your parties, and that she had to make an extra batch just for you because she knew that you would eat them all yourself.” 

“How do you even remember that?” you ask him, smiling. 

“How could I not? I’m pretty sure those cookies are the only reason you were friends with me in the first place. But she always made sure to scrub the kitchen and everything she used before making them because my sister used to make those peanut butter cookies a lot and she didn’t want to risk you having any sort of allergic reaction.” 

You can’t help but smile, but you can’t look him in the eye. Why were you with Kyle? 

#mat barzal #mat barzal imagines #mathew barzal #mathew barzal imagine #new york islanders #new york islanders imagines #hockey #hockey imagines #nhl #nhl imagines

[salty-ironstrange-shipper]

Being Known Is Being Loved

being known is being loved

“i know your pizza order” “you have freckles on your ears” “you make this face when you’re tired” “you order green tea on a good day black on a bad day” “you always make that face before you try something” “the tips of your ears turn red when you’re angry” “i knew you’d say something” “you must be exhausted to miss the class” “your favorite pie is pumpkin, right?” “i know your phone number, don’t worry” “you miss me, i can tell” “you fiddle with your pens when you’re bored” “you don’t like converse unless they’re high tops” “your favorite cereal is cinnamon toast crunch and you first ate it when you were 8”

being known is being loved.

(@natasharxmanov) (post since deleted, see here and here)

(read on ao3)

“You do that thing with your tongue when you’re curious or excited.”

Tony stopped, feeling air brush against his stomach where his tank top had ridden up. His hands carefully caressed the new arc reactor model, even as the rest of him focused his attention on the man sitting on the workshop’s sole couch. “Huh?”

Stephen’s ears turned red, as though even he didn’t know why he’d spoken. “I said, you do that thing with your tongue when you’re curious or excited.” He gestured at Tony’s mouth, trying to replicate the little tongue-rolling gesture.

It didn’t really work, but Tony smiled anyway. “I never noticed.”

“Yeah, well . . .” Stephen shrugged before looking away almost snappishly, returning his attention to the research he had open on his laptop. “I noticed.”

*

“Because they’re your favorite flower.”

“You can’t blame me!” Tony insisted, trying to defend himself as Stephen wrestled the urge to laugh. “I thought it was a good idea!”

“How was sending me flowers that I’m allergic to a good idea in your head?”

They were standing against the railing on the Brooklyn Bridge, looking out on the East River. They’d finished their Chinese takeout as the sun set, and now they were enjoying the display of white and gold lights on the blackened water. Tony had his back to the river, speaking with grand, sweeping gestures of his hands as he tried to justify himself to a laughing Stephen, who was leaning over the metal bar as though daring the water to rise up and take him.

“Because, they’re your favorite flower.”

Stephen shook his head, brow scrunching. “What?”

Tony nodded insistently. “They are! Whenever we walk by a flower shop, or a store with flowers in it, you stop to look at the lilies.” He paused before adding. “I know remember that it was usually from a distance.”

Stephen tilted his head, trying to think. He guessed that was true. He’d always thought they were pretty, particularly the stargazers like the ones Tony had sent to his office at the hospital. And he wasn’t even the type to care for flowers or other naturey things like that. He definitely hadn’t thought Tony had cared to notice.

Tony had his head tilted back, looking up at the few stars that managed to shine in the light-flooded city. “Maybe I can get someone over at R&D to look into making a new strain . . .”

“Or you could just buy plastic ones,” Stephen suggested, smiling despite himself. “Instead of inventing a new flower.”

“Where’s the fun in that?”

Stephen chuckled. “My mistake.”

*

“You prefer a peppermint stick in your coffee in winter.”

Tony held his hand out, frowning when Stephen ignored him. “Doc? Coffee?”

“Hold on.” Stephen awkwardly held up the cardboard drink tray with one hand while the other fished around one of the pockets in his long, dark-blue wool coat. His eyes, grey today, lit up when he found what he was looking for. “Got it.” He held out a small paper bag. “Take one.”

Tony arched a brow. “There better not be something gross in there.”

“What gross thing would I be carrying around?”

“I don’t know. Brains? Figure they have to go somewhere after you take them out.”

“That’s not what my job is.”

“Sure.” Tony did, finally, reach into the bag, surprised when he pulled out a red-and-white striped candy. “Ooh. Have I earned a treat?”

Stephen rolled his eyes. “You prefer a peppermint stick in your coffee in winter. Thought it would be a good idea to stock up.”

“Man after my own heart,” Tony said blithely, ignoring the warm feeling that stirred in his stomach. He took two sticks, pulling the lid off of his cup when Stephen handed it to him and dropping both inside. It took a few minutes for the flavor to seep into the entire drink. When he finally took a sip, he couldn’t help the not-so-tiny moan that escaped his lips.

Stephen smirked. “Enjoying yourself.”

“Obviously.” He took another long drink before grabbing the front of Stephen’s coat and pulling him in for a kiss,  smiling when Stephen’s tongue ran over his. “Doc, if you wanted a taste, you could get your own candy.”

Stephen stepped forward and away from him as though nothing had happened, enjoying a draw if his own burning hot mocha. “Bold of you to assume I’m sharing again.”

“Oh, that’s just evil.”

*

“You always listen to this album when you’re thinking about your sister.”

“You always listen to this album when you’re thinking about your sister.”

Stephen didn’t bother to look at him, keeping his eyes steadily trained on the water pouring outside their window, the sound of thunder rumbling in the distance, not quite drowned out by the Nirvana soundtrack playing in the bedroom. Everyone now and then, lightning cut through the sky.

“I know.”

Tony nodded as though this was the answer he’d expected. Then he started walking across the room, shutting the door behind him, and crawled into the bed arms opening instinctively to wrap around Stephen’s shoulders as the doctor silently nuzzled his chest and neck.

*

“You always play with your phone so you don’t have to pay attention to this scene.”

“I do not get emotional—”

“Yes you do! You always play with your phone so you don’t have to pay attention to this scene!”

“It’s. SAD, STEPHEN!” Tony snapped back. “The mother whale tries so hard to save her baby, but in the end the goddamned . . . killer whales . . .” Okay, maybe he DID get a little bit emotional when they watched nature documentaries. It wasn’t his fault the circle of life was brutal.

Stephen sighed as Tony completely failed at not being emotional, shaking his head slightly before holding his arms open. “Come here.”

“Thank you,” Tony muttered later as Stephen dutifully fast-forwarded through the scene.

“Don’t worry about it.”

*

“Don’t worry, I know your order.”

“Goddamn—” Stephen pulled his ringing phone out before absently glancing at his fiancé. “It’s work. Do you mind?”

Tony shrugged absently, looking down at his menu. “Don’t worry, I know your order.” He looked up. “The special butternut squash ravioli, right?”

Stephen smiled before leaning forward to brush a kiss against his cheek. “You know me.”

*

“You’re always losing this, so I put a label on the drawer.”

“C’mon . . . where is it . . . I know I left it . . .” Actually, he had no idea where he left it. Giving up, he leaned back on his knees and away from the open compartment. “Jarvis, do you know where—”

“Here,” Stephen said, slipping down from his stool and walking over to a completely different set of drawers on the other side of the room from where Tony was searching. “I’ve got it.”

“You don’t even know what I’m looking for—”

He stopped as Stephen pulled out the exact thing he’d been looking for, a laser cutting tool he often used when making repairs to the armor. Stephen dropped it into his hand as he explained, “You’re always losing this, so I put a label on the drawer.”

Tony couldn’t help the amused expression that crested his lips. “That’s the nerdiest way to say ‘I love you’ I’ve ever heard.”

“Are you complaining?”

Tony scoffed before leaning forward to “innocently” nip at his ear. “No.”

*

“These gloves are easier on your hands, right?”

Stephen stared at the offering in Tony’s fingers, the soft black leather that he knew would be lined with devastatingly soft white fur repurposed from one of Maria Stark’s old wraps. His throat tightened.

“Steph?” Tony said cautiously. “These gloves are easier on your hands, right?”

Forcing himself to move, Stephen nodded sharply before taking them, his own fingers shaking. “Right. Yes.” It took too long to pull them on, but once it was done, it was as though a burden had been lifted, his scarred hands stilling some as they adjusted to the comfortable warmth. “Thanks.”

Tony nodded once before starting to walk away. “Don’t worry about it.”

Stephen stopped him with a gentle hand on his elbow. Tony froze in place as Stephen stepped forward, leaning his forehead against the nape of Tony’s neck. “Thank you.”

Slowly, Tony reached back, pulling one of Stephen’s hands around so it was resting on his stomach then covered it with his own.

*

“You smell different.”

“You smell different.”

Tony paused, looking away from the small herd of children running around the lake house or playing on their phones to face his husband. “Is that a come-on or some kind of sick way to tell me to take a shower?”

Stephen shrugged. “Neither. You’re just . . . different.” He learned forward, being far too open with the fact that he was sniffing Tony’s neck in plain view of everyone. “Are you wearing a new cologne?”

It took Tony a moment to think, somewhat preoccupied by the (annoyingly innocent) feeling of Stephen’s lips brushing over his neck. “Um . . . yeah, actually. I, uh, started using a new one a few years ago. After you, you know.” It was perhaps not the most graceful way to refer to someone being dead for five years, but hoe was he supposed to think with Stephen practically draped over him like this?

Stephen nodded, sitting back slightly. Tony fought the urge to pull him right back. “That’s probably it.” Then he went right back to sitting a respectable inch away from him, watching the children to make sure they didn’t get too close to the water.

Tony hesitated, watching him. “I could . . . go back to using the old one.”

Stephen glanced at him from the side before allowing a small smile to grace his cupid-bow lips. “I’d like that.”

*

“I made sure to get the pens you like.”

“I made sure to get the pens you like,” Tony said casually, passing a paper shopping bag over to his husband, who looked through it with mild interest.

When Stephen looked up, his eyes were mildly amused. “Yeah? And which pens do I like?”

“The blue ones. Inky, so if you hold it still for too long you’ll make a huge mess all over the paper.”

“My favorite.”

“Told you.”

*

“Your arm must be giving you trouble after today.”

Tony winced as he sat down on the bed, head aching as surely as his shoulder. It took a few minutes for him to even start removing the metallic arm for the night.

“Do you want me to run you a bath?” Stephen asked, suddenly appearing on the other side of their bed, even though Tony was sure he hadn’t even been in the house a moment ago. “Robots in Toronto . . . your arm must be giving you trouble after today. The hot water will help.” His hands twitched at his side, as though reminding Tony how his husband knew that.

Tony smiled softly despite himself. “You always know just what I need.”

Stephen returned his gaze, pale eyes soft. “Do you want a bath bomb?”

“Vanilla and rose, please.”

Stephen shook his head good-naturedly. “Pampered little rich boy.”

“Gold digger.”

“You know it.”

“That tub’s big enough for two, right?”

*

“You’re always starving after a trip like that.”

“I’m late,” Stephen said, gritting his teeth as he stumbled through a portal into the dining room. “I know I’m late . . .”

It was immediately obvious that everyone else had gone to bed — but Tony was still there, hunched over the table as he read something on his starkphone. He looked up when he heard Stephen, smiling. “Hey.” The oven light was on. Tony stood, opening it and pulling out a still-warm lasagna, though only half of it left in the (frankly, huge) pan. “Made sure there was plenty left for you. You’re always starving after a trip like that.” He glanced over his shoulder, removing his oven mitts. “When you go all extra-dimensional and all.”

“That’s not really what it’s called.” But Stephen went ahead, feeling the Cloak of Levitation detach itself from his back as he sat down. He smiled as Tony set his plate in front of him. “Thank you. For waiting up.”

Tony smiled that too-bright smile of his, dark eyes almost glowing. “Wouldn’t miss it.”

*

“You have forty-eight freckles on your shoulder.”

Tony shifted in bed, not turning around, but just moving his head enough to catch sight of Stephen tracing lines along his back. “Come again?”

Stephen’s hand, tired and shaking, traced gentle constellation along Tony’s tired back and arms. “You have forty-eight freckles on your shoulders. I must have counted a hundred times by now, and it’s always the same, summer or winter.”

“It’s a universal constant,” Tony said thoughtlessly.

The corner of Stephen’s mouth edged up in a smile. “I hope so.”

*

“Your eyes are always blue in this light.”

Around them, the beach was nearly deserted, a tiny bubble of solitude. They could hear Pepper and Christine corralling the children in the distance. The sun was setting, drops of gold splashing upon the watery horizon. Tony leaned back on his metal red-and-gold arm, gazing at Stephen, who was meditating beside him. He spoke without thinking. “Your eyes are always blue in this light.”

Stephen looked over at him, eyes instinctively opening. Tony smiled. “Yeah. Like that.”

#incorrect-ironstrange #ironstrange #tony stark #stephen strange #fanfiction #ironstrange fanfiction #ironstrange fic #oneshot #fluff #soft #romance #ao3 #from the top #being known is being loved #ironstrange fanfic #ficlet #my fanfiction

[kindness-bliss]

New Beginnings Ch. 7

Timothy Thatcher x OC

Rating: PG-13

Warnings: none

Tim looked over at her discreetly he witnessed her trying to open a jar and cleaned his hands on his already stained shirt “I got that for you”   “And I got this for you” she said as she went into her small closet in the living room and pulled out a flannel shirt  “It’s my dads, I don’t wanna see you in a bloody dried up t shirt as we make dinner”   He nodded quickly as he took off his shirt and unbuttoned on the one she gave him Maya blushed as she grilled her ground turkey and noticed how chiseled he was, his upper chest having the perfect amount of body hair and peaks, his biceps bulging out nicely but not overly muscular or anything like that    “It fits” Tim grinned as he showed her  “Not that bad on you” she admits with a small grin “Plaid is definitely your style, I like it on you” “I-I don’t deserve you being so nice to me” he said quietly “Maya, I won’t ever be able to stop saying sorry to you ever, know that. I’m probably gonna say sorry to you for as long as I know you”   “Tim, when’s your birthday ?” Maya asked suddenly as she looked at him “I know it’s 1983 but month ? What month ?”  “March….March 17th” he answered slowly “why ?”   “Oh my god you’re a Pisces, suddenly everything makes sense wow” she nodded as she laughed “Gosh you fit it to a T, you’re a water sign”    “What does that have to do with anything ? A water sign ? What the hell is that ?” Tim asked confused as he put his cutting board down   “It’s your sign Tim” she chuckled “Your sign is a Pisces which makes sense because they’re...well you are considered to have a sign that is known for its over sensitivity, self-pitying but also very selfless and very accepting”    “Oh” he said softly “well I guess yeah, kinda is me. My mother says it’s because I’m an only child and never got to experience things other children got at my age since I also stayed with my grandmother a lot. I think that made me highly sensitive”   “You call it highly sensitive, I call it highly aware” she grinned as she took the carrots and celery from him and added them to a pan to saute   Tim observed as sat on a stool by her “what are you making ? It looks kinda complicated honestly” “Bolognese” Maya says “Though I’m kind of cheating because I’m using sauce from a jar, but I promise it’ll be good”   “Oh” he nodded “I don’t cook much honestly, I only have ever made chicken or ham and it’s typically without seasoning. Same with my rice, I stick to bland foods for the most part. I broke my diet when we went to that Korean BBQ place” Tim said softly as he reached over and cut up onion for her    “Glad I got you to change things up for a bit, though you ghosted me and acted like a child afterwards and ruined me introducing you to better places” she giggled   “I’m gonna age myself here a bit but um, what’s ghosted ?” he asked with genuine interest as he looked down at her   “It means ignore, basically a millennial way of saying you ignored me” she answered back  “Ah I see, I like that...ghosted. I’m adding that to my vocabulary” he nodded as he repeated the word under his breath as he chopped   “Gosh he’s cute” Maya thought to herself as he stood only inches away from him, their arms basically touching as she sauteed. She made sure she stayed in close distance as she cooked looking around as silence began to take over   “Since you were a dick to me, you have to be really nice to me now like really nice” she said with a smile  “I will do whatever you want or need me to do” Tim smiled at her with his dimple popping out more “Kiss me” she whispered nervously as she looked into his eyes    “Like...like right now ?” he asked nervously “o-okay...I’m not that good at it though and my beard is gonna scratch, my lips are kinda dry too and-” he stopped blubbering when he felt her soft lips gently press onto his as she carefully put his hands on her waist as he leaned in more and placed hers on his cheeks    Maya grinned up at him afterwards as she gently wiped his lips and put ice back on his face “go sit with this on while I finish here and by the way, you’re a good kisser”  He chuckled as nodded and sat on her couch “well thank you, haven’t heard that one in like 5 years at least”. Tim sat quietly as he iced his face trying to make sense of what had just happened. Just 6 hours ago he had told her horrible things and now here was having just had a make out session in her kitchen as they cooked dinner together. Tim looked around as he picked up magazines she had on her coffee table and looked through them smiling when he realized they were all her covers or features. One in particular catching his eye, a feature in a parenting magazine where she was holding a baby on her lap.    “Last year” Maya grinned “I typically don’t do those kinds but they needed a model last minute and I happened to be in the area and went in. It was fun, kids and babies were great to work with honestly and now what I expected. That little one stole my heart, made me think I wanted my own for a bit”    “You think about kids ? Not in a weird day of course, just since like me you’re an only child” she asked “I mean yeah, sometimes” he admits quietly “Granted I really thought I was gonna stop wrestling when I was like 30 and settle down and have that white picket fence life everyone else had but clearly life has passed me by. But I’ve had some other good things in life, experiences and memories not everyone has had in life. I’m not one to complain, you ?” Tim asked as he looked at her   “Sometimes I want 1, sometimes none and other times I want like 5” Maya chuckled

“5 ?” Tim laughed “That’s a basketball team right there, Jesus that’d be feeding an army daily”   “Which is why then I think maybe not having them at all would be more beneficial” she laughed “I’ve got time to think about it thankfully, like 5 more years”   “Enjoy your youth, and your job. It’s interesting, really it is Maya” Tim says genuinely “You’ve been to some amazing places, you have experiences most won’t get and you’re only 25. It’s amazing truly”  Maya grinned at him as she fixed the ice pack on his face “I appreciate that, but your face will appreciate this ice way way more”. Damn, kissing him must’ve been the best thing she felt in ages, she could tell he wanted it just as bad as she did yet kept his usual calm demeanor. She came out of her daze as she heard her her cell phone buzz, muttering quietly as Marcel’s pet name appeared  “Dinner tomorrow is still on ?” “Yeah….but let’s meet somewhere, I think I’m ready to tell Tim the truth” Maya sighed as his name quickly appeared on her screen and declined his facetime requests and calls immediately  “Answer me please, Maya just don’t do it today please. Let’s meet tomorrow and we can figure something out...please ?” “Fine, I won’t do it tonight but I’m doing it soon, I like him a lot and I’m not gonna keep secrets from him Marcel, and neither should you. I’ll text you tomorrow morning” she sent as she put her phone on silent and set their plates up She went to the bathroom as she wiped her residue makeup off her face and put her hair up in a ponytail to fresh up, applying some perfume lightly as she looked herself over and left the bathroom    “Oh” she whispered as she saw Tim sleeping on her couch, giving soft snores as his arms were crossed on his chest. Even in his sleep he wasn’t relaxed, it kinda looked like he was just closing his eyes to her and waiting to spook her any second. She contemplated waking him up for a second and went to touch his shoulder, but instead decided to graze his cheek with the back of her hand gently, covering him up with her throw she had on the couch.  Maya shrugged as she turned on the tv and sat on the opposite end as she stuffed spoonfuls of pasta into her mouth watching Real Housewives of New Jersey, shaking her head at the stupid drama on her television shifting when she heard Tim move around and groan   “What ? What happened ?” Tim asked with a groan as he stretched “did I fall asleep here ?” “You did” she nodded “only been like an hour and a half, now please get yourself a plate and don’t bother me for the next 20 minutes because Teresa Giudice is about to cause drama at this fashion show so shhh”   He raised his brow in confusion as he stood up and served himself a plate and sat next to her going back and forth between her reactions and the tv screen in front of him “Did she just call her an old hag and a bitch ?”    “Tim shh” she put a finger to his lips absentmindedly Tim nodded quickly as he leaned back into the couch and ate, speaking up when the show was over with wide eyes “That was… a lot. Is all reality tv like this ?”  “Only the best” Maya laughed “and by the way, sorry for shushing you like that” He shrugged “I deserve more than that”  “Tim, as of tonight we drop it” she turned to look at him “Please” Maya cleaned up thinking what the hell she got herself into with him, this wasn’t in her character at all. One second she was ready to see him drop dead 8 floors to the ground and the next she was making out with him in her kitchen. This was new territory she was going into and deep down it felt right, it felt right to kiss him and feel his touch and she could feel he was feeling the same way. She turned her head , gasping as she bumped into him    “Yes ?” she whispered “Maya, I like you” Tim said “I like you a lot...and I feel like if I don’t tell you now that it’s just us here in a comfortable environment I probably won’t say it again. This isn’t like me one bit” he admits “I’ll be honest yeah I’ve had girlfriends, I dated women here and there but I never felt like this…”    “Like how ?” she asked softly  “Scared, scared that when I was with you I liked who I was for once, I felt at ease and like I didn’t need to put the harsh wrestling persona up. You didn’t care or give it much thought either or pestered me like some others had in the past. And I just wanna say-” “Tim shut the fuck up and just kiss me already” she said softly    And he did. He kissed her deeply as he moved his hands down to her hips and lifted her with ease onto her kitchen countertop feeling her hands move up and down his chest. It wasn’t just a long kiss, it was several kisses with small breaks in between to ensure they could catch their breath as their hands roamed freely all over each other's bodies. Maya unbuttoned the first 3 buttons off his shirt as she lightly traced his chest with her nails as her forehead pressed against his “we should go to my room….we don’t have to you know...have sex but we can just do more of this there comfortably”   “Okay” he nodded as he took her hand and followed her into her room, looking around at the pristine condition everything was in. A vanity organized with makeup items and skin care products he couldn’t even name, her bed perfectly made and covered in pillows, a closet the size of his bedroom with clothes in every color of the rainbow. Everything so neat and luxurious, everything he didn’t have.   She leaned up against him she kissed him again, this time with more dominance as she stumbled onto her bed on top of him, feeling his hands lightly on her lower back    Tim pulled apart from her as he rubbed his slightly red lips and pet her hair gently with his hand “I haven’t had anything like that in a while” he admitted with a small grin    “Neither have I’ she chuckled, licking her lips feeling them swell “It’s like free lip filler” “Always a comedian” Tim laughed genuinely sitting up on her bed “Jesus it’s 11 already and I gotta walk back to my car to get home, I got tapings tomorrow”   “Just stay here and I’ll take you back in the morning, it’ll be early I promise” she said softly as she gave a comforting grin “Okay, I”ll take the couch though. I’m not sleeping in your bed, this was a one time thing that I typically don’t let happen”    “What a gentleman you are” Maya said as she brought him a pillow and blanket “I’ve got all the works on my tv so feel free to watch what you like, bathroom is right next to the closet”    “Thanks, I appreciate it really” She got up in the morning as she turned off her alarm and got ready for the day, taking a peek and seeing Tim up and sitting as he watched tv making different facial expressions  “What are you watching ?” she chuckled as she walked out and turned on her Nespresso machine “Danielle is a mess, I get why you watch this trashy stuff. It’s addicting” he shook his head as he turned it off  Maya laughed as she took out two mugs from her cabinet “Well now you know and let me guess, you take your black ?” “ Yeah” He nodded as he got up and sat on a stool    “I got a shoot in like an hour so I probably won’t be able to talk to you for most of today” she said softly as she packed her bag “chances are till late late tonight”   “Oh….well um I was hoping if you’re able to, I actually have a taping tomorrow and I wanted to ask you if you would like to attend ? It’s about 2 hours, it’s fun even for someone like you who’s never been around wrestling” Never been around wrestling, after a great night she remembered the big mess she had yet to talk to him about. Marcel, shit.    “I’ll try my hardest” she responded with a grin as she drove them back to his car “Thanks again for driving me here, I appreciate it have a good shoot” he nodded as he lingered for a while leaning in slowly as he pet her cheek with his hand and kissed her “Um I think your friend over there saw us” Maya laughed softly as she pointed to an opened mouthed Oney at the gym entrance    Tim chuckled and shook his head as he got out “I’m not gonna hear the end of this one, I’ll text you later, have a good work day” he smiled softly as he walked away “Is that….you have a ?, speak up already” Oney pushed as he followed him to his car “you can’t just not tell me what’s going on after kissing someone like THAT” He turned around as he got out his gym bag “excuse me ? what do you mean like that ? what’s with the emphasis on the end there ?”    Oney shook his head as he gave a scoff “Do you have any idea who that is ? What kind of work she does ?”

  “Uh yeah she’s a mode” Tim nodded as they walked inside “I’ve seen her stuff, she showed me and talked to me all about it”

“I can’t believe you’re dating a model man, you of all people. No offense of course but I mean I never pictured you even dating someone at all”

Tim raised a brow “I’m that bad of a catch huh ? Gee I feel great now that you’ve given me this amazing pep talk, feeling like I can conquer the world now” he answered sarcastically stretching

  “How old is she ?” Oney asked “because there’s no way she’s older than 30”

“25….” he said softly “she’s 25, just turned 25 actually about 2 months ago”

“WHAT ?” Oney said as he spit out his water “No fucking way, you’re dating a 25 year old ?”

  “Would you stop, we’re not dating…….we’re friends that’s all” he answered as he began his cardio

  “Oh yeah because you totally suck face with a friend before leaving right ?” Oney chuckled “You’re in deep, you did the cheek grab and the little linger after you kiss” “Well maybe I like her, friends right now but who knows maybe after she comes to the show might change” he gave a smile “I invited her and she said she’ll come” “Who are you and what have you done to my friend ?” Oney asked with a raised brow “Because you are not the Tim I know” “Let’s just say maybe I wanna enjoy life a bit more” He shrugged “and I’m starting with her, she likes me. I like her, there’s nothing that can go wrong” Nothing right ?

#timothy thatcher #timothy thatcher x oc #timothy thatcher fic #marcel barthel #imperium #wrestling fic

[cuddlepilefics]

Lullaby and good night

Fandom: Stray Kids

Sickie/Little: Minho

Caregiver: Jisung

 Minho’s POV.:

Our next comeback was approaching and 3racha had only finished up in the studio very recently. Now that all their tracks had been finished, it was the dance-line’s task to come up with choreographies. Being the oldest member of the dance-line, I felt a sense of responsibility, so I pretty much took the lead and spent most of my time in the practice room. In my free time, which was mostly at night, I went to the studio to practice my vocals. I knew I had to improve my singing, I read all the comments online, saying the only reason I was in the group was for my visuals. As much as it honored me that Stay found me handsome, as much did it hurt to hear I was good for nothing. Some nights I skipped entirely, not going back to the dorm at all and meeting up with my members for practice the next morning. Often it took a stern conversation with Chan-hyung to drag me back and get some rest. Couldn’t he see that I needed more time to practice? That I needed to work more to make up for the talent I was lacking? I hadn’t gone home after practice last night, instead dancing for another three hours before dragging my sore body to the studio to go over some of the new songs. I hoped with enough practice I’d get my lines down to perfection. It weren’t many anyways.

The next morning, I met up with Hyunjin and Felix to work on our choreos. The young Aussie was having a tough time, often messing up and being on edge the entire time. I saw his hands shaking every time he lost a step and his brows were furrowed as though he had a headache. Being a little myself, it didn’t take long for me to put two and two together. The poor boy was trying so hard not to slip but the stress was slowly getting to him. He wasn’t even there for a full hour before I decided to be a good hyung and send him home. It took a while for Felix to accept my decision, he didn’t want to hold us back and be a burden and I knew exactly how he felt but after quite some pushing from Hyunjin and me and a call to Chan, the dance-line maknae let the leader collect him from the practice room. From that on, it was only Hyunjin and me. We hadn’t even danced for that long but we were both drenched in sweat. My limbs ached and my protested with every movement. I doubted my dongsaeng felt any different but he put on a battle-face and soldiered on. Hyunjin really was something, though sensitive most of the time, when it came to dancing, he was pure professionalism. Not once did he complain about me torturing both of us with endless reruns of the same sequence. It was easy to work with him and seeing him be strong and push his exhaustion and pain away, gave me the strength to do the same.

We cut our lunch break short. Hyunjin gave me a proteinbar from his bag because I had eaten my last for dinner last night. I’d have to go back to the dorm soon to refill the snack-department of my practice bag. The break was just long enough to catch our breaths and force down a proteinbar and some water. Sure, it wasn’t a full meal but if we ate too much, the sharp movements would make us queasy. My eyes were burning and my head ached but on second thought, everything ached, so all I could do was suck it up and hope we’d finish soon. I was really craving a shower and my bed at this point. We had only resumed dancing for a few minutes, when my eyes were starting to bother me, well, bother me more than before. The bright overhead lights seamed distorted, casting strange shapes. I really shouldn’t wear my contacts for days on end. Blinking rapidly, I tried to clear my vision from the shimmering distortions before looking over at Hyunjin, squinting in an attempt to see him clearly. I’ve probably been staring at him for too long because he gave me a questioning look. The room suddenly shifted sideways before everything went black.

When I came to again, the first thing I heard was a loud howling noise quickly changing in pitch. It was too loud, my head was pounding and the noise didn’t help with that at all. Why couldn’t it just be quiet? I wanted to sleep. There were broken and half-suppressed sobs somewhere close. But where? It sounded a lot like Hyunjin. Trying to open my eyes, I failed as my eyelids seemed to be glued shut. There was a pressure around my hand, which seemed to come from the same direction as the sobs. Finally managing to blink my eyes open, I quickly closed them again and groaned as I hadn’t expected it too be so bright. I felt my hand being squeezed and I gave a weak squeeze back. There was also a voice that I didn’t recognize, words blurring together incomprehensible. Just wanting to sleep, I decided to ignore the voice and kept my eyes closed. It was too bright to open them anyways. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t go back to sleep. As soon as I became aware of the moist stickiness, with which my pants clung to me, it was too uncomfortable to get another minute of rest.

Through all the commotion, I kept my eyes closed. Why wouldn’t they stop bothering me? Is it too much to ask to just be allowed some rest? There were hands on me and my bed was shaking. I tried swatting the hands away but I wasn’t strong enough. My clothes were pulled on and suddenly I felt cold. Was I naked? My breathing quickened as I felt helpless and violated. All I had wanted to do was sleep off the pounding headache behind my temples. Oh thanks, someone had put a blanket on me. The commotion was slowly dying down and I dared opening my eyes again, though only a crack. The reassuring hand in mine had disappeared for a while but now I could feel it again. Looking over, I was faced with a tearstained Hyunjin. “H-Hey, you’re awake, hyung”, he smiled shakily. Trying to speak, I head to clear my throat a few times before I was able to get a sound out: “J-Jinnie? Wha’ happened? People were touching me, my head hurts.” – “It’s ok, hyung. They were only helping”, Hyunjin promised before breaking into tears again, “We were dancing together when you kept staring at me. I asked you a few times what was wrong but – but-…” – “Jinnie?”, rasped, squeezing his hand like he had done to me before. My dongsaeng just continued to choke on sobs, clearly terrified of something. But what?

I wanted to reassure him but how could I when I didn’t even know what happened? I was still so unbelievably tired but I couldn’t go to sleep, knowing my dongsaeng was crying next to me. The door opened and in piled my friends. Chan sat down on the bed next to my, taking my hand into his, while Changbin pulled Hyunjin out of the chair and into his arms. “Hyung?”, I looked at him with pleading eyes. The oldest sighed, studying my face: “You don’t remember what happened, do you Min?” I shook my head a bit, waiting for an explanation. “Hyunjin called us because you suddenly collapsed and had a seizure. He called an ambulance, which took both of you here, we followed”, the leader explained calmly but in his eyes I could see he was anything but calm. I had heard anything clearly but for some reason I couldn’t comprehend his words. They made no sense to me. Why would I have a seizure? I never had one before. My hyung must have sensed my confusion because he added: “The doctor said it might have been caused by sleep deprivation but they couldn’t confirm it yet because no one knew how much or rather little sleep you had gotten recently. To me it sounds likely because there were too many nights you didn’t come back at all.” Refusing to meet Chan’s eyes, I stared at the blanket in my lap, which seemed to confirm his suspicions. “I don’t think I have to tell you that you should have taken better care of yourself. You’re one of the oldest here and I know I haven’t been the greatest role-model but not even I have ever taken it to that extreme”, He frowned disappointed. Fighting tears back, I tried to explain myself: “It’s just, all those comments online, reminding me of my lack of talent. I just wanted to improve myself for Stay.” Great, with that confession I have earned myself another round of ‘Why we are not supposed to read comments on social media’, but I knew they meant well giving me a talk.

Another hour, many compliments for my skills and hugs from everyone later, most members went home, promising that one or two of them would come back later to bring me a bag with some clothes and my toothbrush. Much to my dismay, I learned that I’d have to stay at least one night for observation. Chan and Jisung stayed after everyone else left. I was grateful for their presence because I still needed to come to terms with what had happened. I had talked to a doctor, who had explained my situation again. It gave me hope because he said it might never happen again if I make sure to take good care of my body. His words were very inspirational to me: ‘Rest is a right, not a reward.’ I will probably make a poster of this and hang it in the 3racha studio, so others could also benefit from this man’s wise words.

No one’s POV.:

Chan and Jisung stayed to keep Minho company. The dancer kept a cool exterior to reassure his friends but the two knew he was really shaken-up inside. The trio continued talking, about everything and anything, trying to distract themselves and the mood in the room was considerably light. Until a nurse came in, that is. She wanted to give the dancer an IV, which would also be useful for administering medication for the pain. The atmosphere turned sour and Minho squirmed uncomfortably. He hated needles. Jisung quickly took his hand, trying to calm the older down. The nurse gave them a sympathetic smile as she had seen the same scene multiple times. Her promises, it would only be a tiny pinch and it would be over before Minho knew it, fell on deaf ears. When she took another step closer, needle in hand, the dancer couldn’t take it anymore. He screamed, trying to pull away from Jisung, who was holding onto his wrist. Then, as if a switch was flicked, he crawled back to the rapper, clutching his shirt. “Jiji, nuh let Min huwt!”, he sobbed, his breaths coming in short strained puffs. The nurse quickly put the needle down out of sight, taking a few steps back to give them space. Chan and Jisung had both paled immediately after noticing how Minho had slipped. They were terrified of it happening with a stranger in the room, afraid the little would be treated with disgust. Jisung was quick to sit on the edge of the bed, an arm wrapped around the dancer as he whispered soothing nothings and tried to help the other to slow his breathing down. At the same time, Chan studied the nurse, hoping for any clue on how she thought about little space.

A few minutes later, Jisung had finally managed to talk the little down and the nurse considered it safe to approach them again, without a needle this time. “Hey sweetie, can you tell me how old you feel right now?”, she cooed, crouching in front of the pair. All she got was a whimper from Minho, who pressed himself closer to Jisung, and the stunned looks of Chan and Jisung. She smiled at their confusion: “Regressing in age is a not too uncommon coping mechanism. People only thing it’s uncommon because everyone’s ashamed of talking about it. What’s bad about creating a safe space for oneself? It’s harmless, unlike taking drugs or self-harming as an outlet.” She wasn’t wrong there and her acceptance helped Minho build the courage to meet her eyes. When they were going to give the IV another try, Chan silently disappeared out of the room to call the members at the dorm, asking them to also pack Minho’s beloved cat plushie and a pacifier.

“Min, I’d need to give you some medicine but to be able to do that, I’ll have to put a small tube into the back of your hand”, she tried carefully. The little’s eyes went wide and he shook his head furiously. Jisung rubbed his back, hoping to be able to convince him: “Kitten, I know you’re scared. Hyung knows. But don’t you feel icky?” Minho sniffled and touched his head, whimpering a pitiful: “Ouchie.” – “I know, bubba. She’s going to help with that, if you let her. You trust Jiji-hyungie, right? I wouldn’t let anyone do anything that’s bad for you”, the rapper promised, “You’re my brave boy, aren’t you?” Minho whined loudly, he knew Jisung was right but he hated it. “Usually when we have to give a child an injection or IV, we let them sit on their parents lap”, the nurse mused. Jisung didn’t have to be told twice to kick of his shoes and sit down on the bed properly. He pulled the little onto his lap, who quickly buried his face against the rapper’s neck. Taking a few deep breaths and inhaling the caregiver’s soothing scent, Minho held out his right hand, stretching it far away from his body. “You’re so brave, kitten. Hyung’s really proud of you”, Jisung praised. The nurse wasted no time, afraid the little’s burst of confidence would be over before she’d have the needle in. It was really only a small prick and Minho didn’t even have the time to cry out before it was over. Quickly wrapping a few layers of bandage around the dancer’s hand to make sure he wouldn’t accidentally pull the needle out, she stepped back and smiled. She walked over to a cabinet and pulled out a small piece of paper, chuckling: “A brave boy like you totally deserves some stickers.” – “Stickers!!!”, the little squealed, accepting the sheet and studying it. Jisung grinned, glad the fuss was over, and reminded: “What do we say, Min?” – “Tank chuuu!”, the dancer giggled. With a satisfied smile, the nurse connected the bag of fluids and painkillers before leaving the room.

Chan returned and listened to Minho boast about his knew stickers, while they waited for their friends to arrive with the dancer’s necessities. “Hyung, I’m going to stay here with him tonight”, Jisung announced, still sitting on the bed with the little on his lap. The leader nodded, he had already expected this given the rapper was Minho’s main caregiver and the two were extremely close. They kept playing around for a while, the dancer giggling happily, IV already forgotten, till there was a knock on the door. In came Changbin and Seungmin their worried faces brightening at the sight of the happy little on Jisung’s lap. Their worry had doubled when Chan told them Minho had slipped but it now melted away completely. “Hey there, little one”, Seungmin laughed, walking over and ruffling the dancer’s hair, “You gave your Jinnie-hyung quite a scare”, noticing the little’s frown, he was quick to add, “Don’t worry Jinnie’s fine.” – “Look we brought Soori”, Changbin distracted, pulling the plushie from the bag and handing it over. Cuddling the stuffed cat close to his chest, Minho looked up with sparkling eyes and mumbled: “Tank chu, Binnie-hyung.”

Changbin and Seungmin took Chan back home with them after saying good bye to Minho and Jisung. The rapper gently helped the little to change out of the hospital into his own clothes, making sure to pull the bottle and tubing through the sleeve first and guiding Minho’s hand, so he wouldn’t mess with the IV. The energy and excitement, that had fueled the dancer while the other members were present, soon ebbed away and the exhaustion that had brought him into the current situation caught up to him. “Is there someone sleepy?”, Jisung cooed, running a hand through the little’s hair. Minho gave a small nod, yawning widely while he rubbed a fist against his eye: “Wan’ cuddle Jiji.” – “Okay baby, scoot over a bit”, the rapper requested, climbing under the blanket too, “Here, hold on to Soori, she wants cuddles too.” Clutching the plushie, the little snuggled up against his caregiver, who pulled a paci from the bag and slipped it between the little’s lips. “Go to sleep, kitten. Hyungie will sing for you, ok?”, Jisung hummed, he was hoping Minho would be able to catch up on the sleep he was lacking, “Good night, little one.”

#sick #sickfic #little #little space #agere #age regression #headspace #fanfic #fanfiction #skz #stray kkids #fluff #comfort #whump #lee know #lee minho #han jisung #minsung #hospital