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selkieprompts · 1 year

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A Date With An Incubus

Summary: After breaking off a long-term relationship you decide to try dating again, however your first date with this guy you matched with on a dating app doesn't go as you planned.

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT.

originally posted on AO3

You had decided to enter the dating pool again after breaking off a nearly decade-long relationship. Of course, things happen, and people drift apart, but damn, this one kind of hurt. You were alone for the first time in years, and it felt weird. Even going back into the dating pool was strange. You got so used to your routine with your ex that you weren’t sure what to expect when you had your first date since the breakup… but one thing that made you hopeful was the person you were talking to seemed nice. Like actually lovely, and it helped that he was handsome too, but you had this strange feeling you’d seen him before, but you couldn’t quite put your finger on it.

You were to meet him at the Aquarium, his idea. It wasn’t your first pick for a first date, maybe a second or third date, but still, you appreciated it. It was cute, you had to admit. You looked at the time. Was it already 3? Your date started at 3:30, and it’d take forty-five minutes to get there. Shit. You get dressed quickly, grab your keys, and head out the door. Great, you were already late on the first date, worrying that this would somehow ruin his first impression of you. You sit in the car, deciding whether to text him, which you do.

[SMS] 3:38 PM: Hey, I’m so sorry; I just left my apartment. I’ll be there as soon as I can. I’m sorry!

[SMS] 3:39 PM: It’s fine. Please be safe first. I’ll meet you outside when you get here. 😊

The emojis he always sent you were cute, making you feel slightly less guilty about being late.

When you arrived, he was where he said he’d be, right outside the Aquarium. He sat on a bench, and from first glance, he already looked like a big guy, but when he caught you approaching, he stood up and waved, a wide grin appearing on his face. Jesus Christ, he was tall , and you weren’t that small yourself. You were average height. He jogs over to you and greets you. “Glad you made it!” you also realized this was the first time you heard his voice. He was Scottish. “It’s nice to finally meet you in person.” he gives another smile.

Still, the feeling of familiarity lingers, and now it’s starting to bother you. Where the hell have you seen this guy before? You snap out of your thoughts when he speaks again. “I got us some tickets for the Otter Encounter, but that doesn’t start for another hour and a half, and I also saw a restaurant in here if you wanted to check it out.” Wow, this guy sure has a lot of things planned for the two of you. And all for a first date? Maybe he hasn’t dated in a while and got over-excited. Not that it bothers you. You’re glad you decided to go and not just ghost him. “Yeah, the restaurant sounds nice. Let’s go there first,” you said, smiling back at him.

The two of you make your way through the building, passing exhibits and such, commenting on the animals as you see them. The restaurant was what you expected. A little gimmick with ocean themes, but it was charming. And the food wasn’t terrible, kind of overpriced though. Though as you ate your food, you noticed he barely touched his. Maybe he ate before he came here? You stare at his face as you eat, and he sees. “Oh, do I have something on my face?” your face quickly flushes in embarrassment. “Oh no, I–” should you bite the bullet there? Yeah, if you didn’t, it would keep you from thoroughly enjoying yourself. “You just look really familiar. Have you’ve been in anything?” a nervous laugh followed from him, and now he seemed a little coy. “Short answer, yeah. Stuff online mostly.” then it clicks.

He was a content creator you followed on Twitter and other less favorable sites. A content creator who made porn! You were on a date with a cam guy. Your eyes widen, and your mouth hangs open slightly. Was this really happening? Were you on a date with fucking Axel Lily? He speaks again. “Look, I understand if you would want to call it here–” you interrupt, “No, no, it’s fine! It’s kinda cool actually,” you admit, and that’s when you see his eyebrow raise. “Yeah?” He sounds relieved. “Yeah, I actually follow some of your content.” oops probably should’ve kept that to yourself. You hear him laugh, though. “Well, I appreciate the support.” Now you’re thrilled you didn’t ghost him.

The date continued, as usual, meeting the Otters being the highlight of your trip there, besides the other thing you discovered about him. So when it comes to an end, you feel disappointed until he invites you back to his place. You agree, maybe a little too eagerly, and you follow him in your car back to his house. Was going over to his home too much for a first date? Maybe but the decision was made, and there was no turning back now.

---

When you arrive at the house, you can’t help but notice that it looks normal. You didn’t know why you expected anything else. You park near it and follow him inside. It was lovely inside, too, normal. Though you wondered where that room was. You wanted to see it, but you shouldn’t be too pushy. You were so busy with your thoughts that you didn’t notice him coming up behind you until you turned around. He startled you a bit, to which he apologized, but you knew he had something brewing in that mind of his. Something naughty. A devious-looking smirk paints his features as he looks at you, and you can’t even begin to describe how that excited you. You knew what was going to happen next.

He gets as close as he possibly can to you, his hand ghosting your waist as he looks at you with this lustful gaze. The two of you are waiting to see who’d make the first move. Instead, you felt brave and pulled him down into a kiss. The kiss started soft, lingering on each other’s lips before it became more passionate with each departure until the two of you desperately felt each other. You dared to tug at his shirt, signaling him to take it off, which he did. You didn’t know why but you expected him to look different in real life, but no. His body was just as gorgeous as it had been in his shows. The man was fucking stacked. “Holy shit.” you mutter before he returns for another frantic kiss.

You find yourself on the couch, where he pushes you down and climbs on top of you, pulling off your clothing. All the while, your hand finds itself in his sweatpants, feeling for his cock. Christ, it felt huge. You stroke it gently, and that elicits a moan from him. You keep stroking him as his hands start to wander and soon he finds your slit, with no hesitation, he slips his fingers inside. “Wet for me already, huh?” He sounds so smug. “Let’s see if I can make you any wetter.” his thumb starts circling your clit as he curls his fingers inside you. Fuck, did it feel good! You do your best to keep stroking his cock, but with how his fingers are working, you can barely keep up. You try your best, though. He goes at it for a little while until he withdraws his fingers from you. You let out a noise of disappointment until you see him pull your underwear off and put his head between your legs. Then you feel his mouth on your cunt, sucking and lapping at it, he was eating you like he was starving, and you were a full-course meal. His hands held your hips as his tongue worked on you. You bucked with every lash he gave you until you felt a wave of pleasure wash over you. You swear you could see stars, but he wasn’t finished with you.

Axel returns and gives you another kiss where you can taste yourself on his tongue. But as you went on with your passionate fling, you started to notice something, his teeth were sharper than you remember, and they cut your lip. You open your eyes, pull back, and begin catching a few more things. He turned fucking blue! And horns! And claws! And a fucking tail! What the hell? “Woah!” you’ve entirely snapped out of your pleasured daze and scooted back, your back hitting the couch. “What the fuck?!” you yell out. You swallow as you look at what’s in front of you. Your date turned into some sort of blue fucking demon! He looks confused for a moment until he looks at his hands. “Ah shit.” he doesn’t sound surprised, just… embarrassed? “I’m sorry, this doesn’t usually happen.” he makes it sound like he did something small, like he made a mess or something. You just blink, staring at him. You don’t know what to make of it, but… even as all of this is happening, you don’t feel like he will harm you. Even if he looks a little demonic. “Axel, what the hell is going on?” you want answers, though.

He sucks through his teeth before sitting back up. “I’m a demon…” he smiles awkwardly. “An incubus.” You just stared at him. You couldn’t believe this. “I see...” you said quietly. “I had every intention of telling you, I promise.” he quickly interjects with worry. You linger there, thinking for a moment, you thought about leaving, but there is another part of you urging you to stay. Axel reaches out to touch you but quickly recoils, probably realizing it’s not a good idea.

When you had this fascination with the occult, you read about his kind. They killed people. They drained them dry. You look at him once more. “Are you… are you going to kill me?” you ask. There’s this look of shock on his face. “What?! No! No.” he tries to assure you, and it somewhat works because you start to relax. “I wouldn’t dream of that.” His tone is soft and comforting. “So why did you invite me here?” there’s a pause as he looks down at his hands, “Because I like you.” you believe him. For some reason, you believe him. “But I can understand if you wanna call it here–” “I didn’t say that.” you interrupt him, and you see his eyebrows raise. “What?” the incubus sounds admittedly confused. You moved closer to him. Now you were bold, taking his hand and placing it on your thigh. He takes the hint soon after, and you two continue where you left off.

You see him shift to remove his pants, and of course, the fucking porn star and now revealed incubus has the most enormous cock you’ve ever seen. But, of course, why would you expect anything less? It was over seven inches in length and pretty thick in girth, he was uncircumcised, and it was blue like the rest of him. You weren’t sure if you would be able to take all this, but you couldn’t wait to try.

He continues taking the lead, putting his hands on your knees and spreading your legs wide open for him to see all you had to offer. Axel looks at you with hunger in his eyes as he strokes his cock’s head against your clit in a slow, daunting motion. He’s teasing you, and you love it, but you wanted all he had, and you wanted it inside you. You take your hand and point it down so his head meets your entrance, you look up at him with a wanting gaze, and you see him grin. Finally, he looks down, and you see him spit, and when it meets your cunt you feel a sort of warmth as he rubs it around your hole’s entrance. “Ready?” he asks you, “Yes, please,” you reply.

You feel him slowly slide it in, stopping every so often up until he is entirely in. He’s letting you adjust to him, waiting for your okay to move. He was inside you. There was a demon inside you, part of you couldn’t believe this was happening, but the other part of you wanted this moment to last forever. When you finally feel ready, you give him a nod, and he nods back. The incubus starts to move his hips, and you feel his cock sliding out before it slams back in. The motion causes a shiver through your body. The motions continue until they gradually get faster in rhythm, and you wrap your legs around his waist. “That’s it.” you hear him say in a low voice, “Taking my cock like a good pet.” you feel a claw glide across your lower lip as he continues his merciless thrusts into you. Your body felt so hot. It was on fire! “Moan for me, my dove.” it’s a command you’ll gladly follow, so you moan. You moaned out his name and swore to God as this demonic, beautiful creature ruined you. He grabs your hips, his claws digging into your skin as he continues thrusting, ensuring he hits your particular spot to make you see stars. “Ah–fuck!” you cry, feeling your sweet release.

Axel moves you onto his lap, keeping his hands on your hips and bouncing you up and down on his cock with such a fierce pace that you could hardly catch your breath. You hook your arms around his shoulders, but it barely keeps you stable. He’s relentless with his cock, and he will make sure you cum. Again. And it doesn’t take long. You can feel it building up again as he switches from bouncing you to ramming it inside you. His balls slapped against your skin with a loud audible smack! “Come on, pet, cum for me again,” he growls out this command, and you do. You cum so fucking hard that your legs start to shake, and your fingernails dig deep into his blue skin. “Fuuuuuuuuuuck!” you cry out as you let your orgasm wash over you. You can see a smirk form on his lips. Smug bastard. If he wasn’t fucking your brains out, you would have made a remark. He tilts his head, “Think you can spare one more?” he asks. “Y-yes. Yes, please.” you needed just one more… One more release.

Axel takes you off his cock and puts you back underneath him, your legs parting once more as he slides back in. Another shaky moan leaves you as he moves his hips once more. The pace was more gentle this time as Axel moved inside you. He was letting this one build-up, and it was killing you. The slow, deliberate motions drive you crazy, and the demon knew precisely what he was doing. “You want it?” he whispers huskily in your ear, and you can only muster a nod. “Okay then.” he wanted to make you beg, but he’d save it for another time. Suddenly the thrusts became harder and harder until you could feel your cunt tighten around his cock, then he cums. His hot sticky semen filled you up, and it was enough to make you finish cumming too.

He withdraws from you and lays down next to you. You feel a sticky substance trail down your thigh, goddamn there was a lot. Unlike you, he seems fine after that, back to his energetic self, “Here, let me clean you up.” but when he goes to help you, you give him a little wave. “G-Give me a second….” you sound out of breath. “Maybe you can… grab some towels?” you suggest, and he gives you a nod before heading to his bathroom. You notice he’s back in his human form when he comes back. The Axel you knew before… all this. You spread your legs and allow him to clean you up. He was so gentle with you, it was strange for sure, but it was something you appreciated though a question comes to mind. He came in you, and you weren’t on the pill. “Hey–” he looks up at you, “I’m… not going to get instantly pregnant, am I?” you sound worried, but he gives you a shake of the head. “Long story short, no. I can’t get people pregnant without some weird demonic magic. I’m infertile otherwise.” Well, that’s convenient, and for some reason, you believe him.

Axel finishes cleaning you up, and you gather enough strength to finally sit up. You rest your head on his shoulder, and he wraps his arm around you. “Hell of a first date, huh?” He cracks a joke. “Yeah, and I look forward to the rest of them.” You see his eyes light up, “Really?” you give a tired nod, “Yeah.” you can feel the excitement radiate off him. You were going to stick around for sure. Besides the whole demon thing, Axel seemed like a sweet guy. And well, you were always curious about Incubi anyways…

#incubus x reader #reader insert #smut #short story #oc x reader #NO PREGNANCY HERE

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johnny-slaughter-me · 7 months

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— “ 𝐅𝐥𝐮𝐟𝐟 𝐀𝐥𝐩𝐡𝐚𝐛𝐞𝐭. ” | Johnny Slaughter x Gender-Neutral Reader.

Headcanon. My take on a fluffy alphabet with Johnny.

Notes. English isn't my native language so typos and grammar issues are likely.

Warnings. This fic is sfw. Canon gore and cannibalism mentioned.

Enjoy. I hope you enjoy the content. Much love, Cherry. 🍒

- A. Activities, how they spend their time with and without their s/o.

Without you, Johnny mostly spends his time hunting or preparing for hunts. Hunting is (almost) everything for him. It gives him a thrill to chase and a sadistic satisfaction when he kills his prey. With you he'd grown to love more of what nature the backyard has to offer, whether it would be the sunflower fields or stargazing at night from the bed of his truck. He really enjoyed spending time with you and had learned to appreciate the simple moments you two could share together.

- B. Beauty, what do they find pretty about themselves and their s/o.

Johnny has a charming look, he maintains a certain figure as it helps him in hunts and in loring and tricking victims, Johnny wouldn't be out here calling himself beautiful. He boosts his ego though other means, mostly ones relying on strength and power, so he finds his arms to be one of his most admirable physical features of himself. As for you, it was something in your eyes, that captured him and had made him decide to keep you as own of the family rather then dinner. He'd learn so much about just from how your eyes reflected your feelings. He can get lost in them for hours if he had a chance.

- C. Comfort, how would they comfort his s/o.

Johnny isn't one to talk things through, he is a man of patience, as seen through his incredible hunting skills, but his exposure to social interactions is limited. He takes pride in how strong he is, depending on the situation he would either hold you in his arms, let you take your time to calm yourself while knowing he is there for you, or physically and verbally defend you if you are in a situation that calls for it. Needless to say, he'd kill for you.

- D. Dream, how do they picture their future with their s/o.

There's not a lot of room for change in Johnny's life, he isn't planning on it either. Family is for life, and he wants you to be a part of it. Some nights he'd dream of you finally eating human flesh and not the meat of the dead rabbits he'd hunt down for you. Help the family deal with the victims and enjoy it as much as he does. He wants you to truly devote yourself to the family just like he does .

- E. Equal, how much effort do they put in the relationship compared to their s/o.

The relationship you have with Johnny is never going to be an equal one, considering it started with you originally being kidnapped for dinner, and the fact that he and his family can always turn you into it at any given moment puts you in a powerless position. However he does his best to accommodate you, hunting rabbits so you won't eat human flesh, getting you basic necessities from his trips to the city, spending quality time with you during the short windows of time he has off "work". You had also grown to like Johnny and you try to help around the house, and spend whatever time with Johnny you can, always reassuring him that you love him.

- F. Fight, how are fights between them and their s/o.

You and Johnny haven't fought much, nothing big at least. If you had you'd probably not be among the living. Sometimes you have petty fights, but Sissy told Johnny its probably because you are still getting used to the family and the new environment you are living in. So he'd learn to ignore it. They usually end by you apologizing to him. Johnny will never apologized, at least not sincerely.

- G. Gratitude, how grateful are they for their s/o and the things their s/o is doing for them?

Whilst Johnny's mindset is that of a savior, he was the one sparing your life and thus you are now his. I would like to believe he is grateful for you not trying to tun away, for being kind to his family and to him, and for truly loving him, a love no one in the family could ever give him.

- H. Honestly, are they honest and open with their s/o? Do they have any secrets?

He doesn't really hide anything from you. You know of the family's secret and that is what mostly shape his character. He won't necessarily open up and talk about his past or feelings though, and the one time he tried hiding something from you was the fear that washed him during the first week of your stay with the family, where you hid in one of the cars because you were scared of a hunt that went down between bubba and a victim. He'd never let you see him in a vulnerable state.

- I. Inspiration, has their s/o inspired them and vice versa.

You had inspired Johnny to also enjoy his downtime and not just the hunts. You thought him that there's more to life then the adrenaline that comes with the chase. In a similar way, Johnny inspired you to be more grateful for every moment you spend breathing, and what a true community feels like. Sure they are twisted but that doesn't mean they don't inspire you every now and then. Honorable mention is how inspiring Johnny's dedication is. Both for you, the family, and for his hunts.

- J. Jealousy, how jealous are they.

Johnny is jealous and possessive, but he manipulates his jealousy so it comes off as more of a possessive aspect then a jealous one. Johnny doesn't like showing anything that could be interpreted as a weakness.

- K. Kiss, are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like.

He is surprisingly a good kisser, Johnny mostly care about his own needs and usually kisses you messily and roughly when you two have some alone time. He won't really kiss you in front of the family. He will now return a soft good morning kiss to you, but he still prefers makeout sessions over small soft kisses.

- L. Love confession, how do they confess to their s/o.

Johnny originally kidnapped you for dinner, but after taking a liking to you he just kept you alive and toyed with you. He never really confessed to loving you, but his actions throughout the time you spend with him let you know that he does indeed love you.

- M. Marriage, do they wanna get married? What would the marriage be like?

Despite how untraditional the family is, mostly Nancy, would want the two of you to get married. That would be a way to truly have you as part of them, and Johnny wouldn't oppose to the idea of marriage with you. Johnny isn't a big dreamer but after the initial start of your relationship he fell harder and harder and he truly wants you to be a part of the family. It would also make him worry less if he has to go out of town and leave you alone since the family will never turn on one another. That is if you ignore the fact that Nancy killed Johnny's mom and stole him to raise him as her own. The ring would be simple and the wedding would just be a family dinner but with some homemade decor and a little ceremony. Life after the wedding won't be much different, the day to day would be similar, however if you wanted to have any kids, the family would help keep them safe.

- N. Nicknames, what do they call their s/o and vice versa.

Johnny's pet names for you are darlin' and doll, sometimes he'd also call you a cutie. You mostly call him honey, sometimes babe, although never baby, he doesn't like being called baby. (In bed he'd give you more dirty pet names and likes it when you call him daddy).

- O. On cloud 9, what are they like when they are in love.

Johnny's love language is actions of service, he takes pride in his physical strength and appearance. He never lets you carry anything heavy even if you are capable, he protects you if you are scared of something, but also he likes to hunt animals for you since you aren't fond of their premium human meat. The family can tell Johnny is in love with you, as usually he only thinks about himself and devotes a little bit of thought for the family, but sometimes he goes out of his way to help you or be there near you.

- P. PDA, how are they with their s/o infront of others.

He won't kiss you or call you pet names infront of the family for the longest time, he didn't want them to find something to use against him, he'd be more open about your relationship once he feels the family is comfortable with you and won't try to slaughter you. But infront of anyone other than the family, Johnny he really doesn't care. He knows he can protect you and you what they think of him doesn't matter to him. He'll do whatever he wants with you.

- Q. Quirk, a random ability they have that benefits the relationship.

His truck, he sometimes takes you on rides through the different parts of land the family owns. It's refreshing for the both of you. Johnny is always the one driving, no one gets to drive his truck no matter how much he loves them.

- R. Romance, how romantic are they? Is it creative or cliché.

Johnny is romantic in his own ways. Mostly through shielding you from danger and trying to provide for you. Sometime into your relationship you started initiating some romantic times in tbe sunflower fields or through car rides with him, and now he himself offers them to you.

- S. Support, are they helping their s/o achieve their goals? Do they believe in their s/o?

Johnny isn't very supportive in that regard. He wants you to be part of the family, if you want to take on a certain role within the family and its not one that will possibly put you in danger, he'd be all for it. But if you dream of your old life, Johnny would go out of his way to sabotage that and try to get you to shift your goals into ones that benefit the family.

- T. Thrill, do they need new things to spice up the relationship or do they prefer a routine.

Your relationship with Johnny is limited. You can't really leave the lands the family own but even then you are limited to safer areas where living victims aren't roaming free. Johnny's life is very much based on a routine and he has no problems with the relationship being the same. But if you suggest something new to do every now and then and it is within the boundaries of where you are allowed to be, he won't say no to you.

- U. Understanding, how understanding are they of their s/o. Are they empathetic?

Johnny is narcissistic, and he cannot undo himself into a good person. He does try to be understanding and to accommodate you. Took some advice from Sissy at first, since she had actually spend time living outside the family's land in different cultes but he mostly relayed on skills he picked up to study and capture his victims to form an understanding of you.

- V. Value, how important is this relationship to them.

Your relationship with Johnny literally means the world to him. He never knew he was capable of experiencing love like this, no matter how twisted the circumstances of what formed it are. And he also knows he will never be able to experience it with anyone else, so he places a great value on you and the relationship with you.

- W. Wild card, a random fluff headcanon.

You asked Nancy about Johnny's birthday once, and she gave you the date. You took it upon yourself to try and make him something sweet for desert and you set the dinner table with some flowers you found in the garden. No one expected it, but the family, and mostly Johnny (he has a sweet tooth) really appreciate this gesture and enjoyed the dessert. Now it became a tradition that for each family member's birthday you'd set a special table with something sweet. They all looked forward to the occasion as well.

- X. Xoxo, are they very affectionate, do they love kisses and cuddles.

Johnny is a fairly rough person at first he wasn't one to really kiss you if it wasn't leading up to or during spicy times. He did let you since day one sleep in his bed with him, and as you slowly felt yourself falling for him you started snuggling up to him at night. He never pushed you away and now he can't fall asleep without you by his side.

- Y. Yearning, how are they when they miss their s/o.

The only days you and Johnny are separated is when he has to go out of town. He can't help but miss you, and he copes with his loneliness by having a side quest of getting you something you'd like. When he finally gets back home and gifts you whatever it was that he thought you'd like, seeing you thank him each time with your eyes litting up like a child opening a Christmas present makes it all worth it.

- Z. Zeal, are they willing to go to great lengths for the relationship, and how so.

Considering Johnny is a serial killer, and him and his family practicing cannibalism, him letting you live- and arguing with his family to also let you live (which is a big deal for Johnny), means he did go to lengths not normal for him in order for this relationship to work.

#Cherry Writes 🍒#Johnny Slaughter #Johnny Slaughter x Reader #Johnny Slaughter x GN Reader

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milfgyuu · 2 years

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What’s My Age Again? Pairing: Wen Junhui x Fem!Reader Tags: 8.9k, F2L, Fluff, Crack, Humor, Smut 18+ Summary: Wen Junhui is sort of a dumbass but he’s your dumbass and you’ve come to realize that you like him just the way he is.

A/N: this was 100% inspired by me obliterating my vocal chords in the car to “What’s My Age Again?” by Blink182 - also, apologies in advance my friends....Jun was perfect for this story and i lowkey have temporary romantic feelings for him. shhhh. temporary.

Warnings: [Sexually Explicit Content 18+, MINORS DNI] the mc/reader is bisexual! language, adult themes throughout, protected sex (mxf), oral (f/m), face sitting (f), sixty-nine (spongebob voice), lots of gentle bullying between friends, threatening someone with peanuts.

The light tapping of your finger nails almost matches time perfectly with the clock on the wall.

You’re on your regular night shift which could be worse, but as it stands, it’s just a whole lot of standing around and doing nothing. Yo-Nuts - as ridiculously stupid as the name sounded, was actually pretty popular…during daylight hours.

A combination frozen yogurt and donut joint that stood alone on a quiet corner didn’t really attract much attention at night but the owner was one of those generational money kids who built the place on a whim after a night of the munchies for two very specific things that weren’t typically available at night.

Frozen yogurt and donuts. Yo-Nuts. Points for originality.

You also can’t complain because you’re working with your designated himbo, per usual. Jun is one of those really tall, really good looking nice boys who are especially…dumb but in a likeable sort of way. He’s goofy and a little immature but you enjoy his company. The long quiet nights are filled with laughter, conversation, and a lot of shit you probably shouldn’t be doing while getting paid - most of which Jun instigates.

“Hey,” you hear from somewhere behind you, “Psssssssst!”

You put your phone down and look over your shoulder to see Jun across the store holding a glazed donut up to his mouth, flicking his tongue through the middle suggestively, like an idiot.

You snort but pretend to be unimpressed and he, very briefly considers putting the donut back before tossing it in the trash. The boss let’s them eat whatever they want anyway so it’s not like anyone is truly caring for the inventory numbers. He comes up to the counter where you’re sort of monitoring the floor and leans down to whisper, “When do you think that guy will leave?”

“He’s gonna ask for more gummy bears, bet.”

Jun holds out his hand immediately. “If he leaves without asking, you have to lick my armpit.”

You give a look of thinly veiled disgust, “You’re so weird,” and then slap your hand into his, “If he does, I’m giving you a wedgie.”

Jun’s nose crinkles as he thinks about the last time he lost a bet with those odds. His ass crack was scarred for life, but Jun also had a plan this time around, “Deal.”

His efforts were amusing to say the least.

It was mostly just him sitting behind the counter trying to make direct eye contact with this poor man sitting alone in the shop, trying to enjoy his fro-yo in peace. Every time he looked up, Jun was somehow in his line of vision. Cleaning a table, examining a sprinkle, spritzing a window, hovering around floor like an absolute creeper. He got distracted though.

He’d found a dollar bill on the floor under a table and the guy got up and beelined it toward the counter. You painted on the friendliest smile when he asked for extra gummy bears and wished him well on his way out the door. For some reason he thought his treat was better tasting at home. Probably because he wasn’t being stalked while he ate it.

Jun caught the interaction just as the customer was leaving and he sulked across the entire empty shop, heavy feet stomping each step of the way. “How come you always win?”

Laughing, you circle the counter and Jun takes a careful step backwards. “Have mercy on my cheeks,” he begs, “I wouldn’t actually make you lick my pit had I won!”

“Yes, you would have,” you step closer and jump at him, making him squeal a bit, “Don’t drag out the torture. Bring that ass here boy.”

“What if I'm not wearing underwear?” He giggles, backing into a table and jumping out of the way, “Didja ever think about that?”

You back off and smirk, walking back toward the counter, “It’s fine…I don’t mind waiting and catching you off guard. Let you slip into a false sense of security before I destroy your ass.”

His face drops and he automatically clenches out of fear. “Ohhh,” he blows out with narrowed eyes, “You’re pure evil.”

You smile angelically and then tilt your neck sharply like a broken doll, and Jun shudders, very slowly and wearily joining you back behind the counter you’ve perched on. He offers a very tiny smile like a white flag and you grin, keeping him on his toes.

“Soooooooo,” he drawls out, “Pretty sure Rin is never calling me back…”

Rin is the super hot girl Jun’s been talking to lately and she is so far out of his league it’s insane. She drives a brand new Audi and owns her own clothing line but apparently she likes funny guys and there is anyone doofier than Wen Junhui. Again, dumb but objectively attractive. The thing is, she is just way too mature for him. She’s running a high-end business and he works in a fro-yo shop and thinks butt jokes are still funny.

It’s too bad Rin’s not into girls.

You sigh, unsurprised. “What did you do?”

Jun’s face falls and he purses his lips, “Why do you always assume I did something?”

You merely blink back and him and he deflates. “I think she wanted to have sex with me and I screwed things up.”

You automatically laugh and he whines at your reaction, crying about you never taking him seriously. You choke down the laughter but can’t dim the smirk upon your lips, “I’m intrigued, please,” you gesture to the empty space between you, “Paint me a picture.”

Jun leans against the opposite counter, sighing as he recounts the details. “I took her out last Friday and we had dinner and then she said she wanted to come hang out at my place so we went home and we were watching a new movie,” he gets distracted and then really excited, “You know that Blissful Revenge movie I wanted to see, right?”

You nod amusedly, of course. He’s talked about it for weeks.

“So, we were watching it and she kept getting closer which is like cool, I like to snuggle, and then she started kissing my neck and you know how ticklish I am so I kept laughing and she stopped. Then she climbed on my lap and blocked the whole tv and we started making out but I think she saw that I kept trying to look around her to watch the movie and she got pissed and left,” he grimaces awkwardly, “I asked if I could walk her to her car and she said no. So, I stayed inside and watched the rest of the movie by myself.”

Riveting. “Was the movie good?”

His face lights up, “Dude, yes it was amazing! The graphics were so much better than the last movie and it was like a hundred times more gory,” he spreads he hands out and smiles serenely, “Blood and guts, everywhere.”

“Hey,” you look at him curiously, waving your hand, “Come here for a sec…”

Jun looks worried and touches his face then his hair and moves slowly towards you, ‘What-”

“Hold still,” You caution him and as soon as he’s close enough, you reach around and smack him in the back of the head.

“What the hell is wrong with you?!” You ask incredulously, “You have hot and horny girl in your lap and you’re too busy watching tv?! You’ve fumbled the bag, severely. Idiot.”

Jun winces and rubs his head, mussing his hair. “I just don’t get why we couldn’t do it after the movie was over…”

You roll your eyes skyward, begging aloud for Rin to just give you one chance. One chance is all you need to treat her right unlike this towering doofus in front of you.

“Jun,” you say with an incredible amount of patience, “Are you a virgin?”

He narrows his eyes and scoffs, “No.”

No elaboration, interesting.

“Do you like having sex with hot girls?”

He snorts, “Uh, obviously? Don’t you?”

You jut out your chin sarcastically, “Obviously,” you roll your eyes, “And I’m way better at it than you apparently. Do you, like, not know how to tell if a girl is horny? Or into you, in general?”

Jun says nothing but he opens and closes his mouth a few times, scoffing and walking in circles with his hands on his hips, occasionally bringing one up in the air like he’s about to make a point and then lowering it again without a word.

“Dude, you don’t know how to read women at all, do you?”

He finally sighs and dejectedly slumps against the counter next to you. “Women are so beautiful and so mysterious,” he groans, “They don’t talk with their words. How am I supposed to guess what they want?”

Another incredulous look crosses your face. “Her kissing your neck, climbing into your lap, and initiating a make-out session was not clear enough body language for you?”

“We were watching a movie!” he shouts word for word.

“No,” you loudly correct him, “You were watching a movie. She was trying to fuck you! If there is one thing women hate most, it’s being ignored. Especially when they’re trying to initiate intimacy. If she walked out, I can almost guarantee this has happened before with you.”

He seems contemplative but then a couple walk in and you paste on your customer service face and greet them, taking their order. You and Jun work in relative silence, passing things back and forth to each other then to the customers and they leave, emptying out the place once again.

“So, that one time I asked her to watch me play video games and she kept trying to take off my pants…”

He ducks as you throw a handful of m&ms at his head and shouts, “WHY?”

You glare at him and point at the floor, whispering threateningly, “Pick those up,” before he’s running for a broom and dust pan.

He sulks around the shop while you hide in the office, choosing to kick your feet up on the desk and watch an episode on Netflix. Jun is made to watch the floor as punishment for being a dumbass. He has to reflect on the consequences of his actions.

It’s not long before he’s poking his head into the office, a pout plastered on his useless lips. “Whadda you want, virgin?” you ask without looking up.

His forces a teeny, feeble voice and bows his head, “Teach me your ways, sensei.”

You pause your show and look up with a flat face. “I’m not taking on new students.”

He drops to his knees and you both grimace at the crunchy sound they make. “I am begging you,” he shakes his hands, pleading, “I will do the floors and bathrooms myself for a month!”

You narrow you eyes and he folds, “FOR ETERNITY!”

Sighing long and hard you set your phone down and adjust the computer monitor so you can see the front doors should someone come in. “Listen and listen well, young grasshopper. Today is lesson one in ‘How not to be a clueless, immature loser’, ok?”

“You’re a goddess,” he sags in relief, snickering when you sharply tell him to shut up.

And this is how you spend your shifts for the next few weeks, with Jun following you around asking questions and giving hypothetical scenarios. He attempted to rekindle things with Rin, but she’d long since moved on to a much older man with a private yacht and fat 401k. Poor kid hadn’t stood a chance.

He hadn’t really made an effort to see anyone else either, which you pointed out one day.

“You know,” you twirl a strawberry glazed donut around your finger before taking another bite, “You ought to be putting my incredibly wise and carefully taught methods into practice. What’s the point if you stop talking to girls all together?”

Jun scoffs and spreads his arms, balancing half his weight on the broomstick in his hand. “I have been trying,” he complains, “I hooked up with this girl I met at the club and when I texted her the next day, like you said, she ghosted me.”

You hold your eyes shut for a very long time and poke your tongue in your cheek. “Ok,” you blink, “Walk me through it.”

“We danced-”

“Skip ahead, Jun,” you huff in frustration, “Your place or hers?”

“Mine.”

“I offered her a drink and asked if she wanted to play video games.”

“Christ…okay. Then what?”

“We played Mario Kart and she sucked,” Jun answers with a frown before perking up like he’s about to deliver the good news, “Then she asked if she could blow me and I said yes!”

“Thrilling,” you sip from your near empty drink and gesture for him to continue, “And did you pay attention to her?”

His smile falters and he chuckles awkwardly, “She wasn’t very good at it and seemed kinda irritated that I didn’t have a better reaction but like, isn’t it rude to fake it?”

“Did you attempt to help her in anyway? Remember the whole communication thing?”

“I was going to but then she gave up and it was kind of awkward so I suggested we go to my room to bang.”

“Verbatim?” you nearly choke on your donut, “You- nevermind,” you hold your hand up, “How was the sex?”

Jun shrugs, “Fine?”

“Fine?” you repeat, “What does ‘fine’ mean?”

He scrunches up his face. “She was so boring. Dead silent, missionary, lights off.”

You frown in thought, “That is boring,” you shake you empty cup and Jun takes it from you to refill it, “This one sounds like it’s not one-hundred percent your fault.”

“I didn’t even finish,” he laughs, handing the cup back to you, “I asked if she wanted to stay and chill but she said she didn’t think we really had anything in common so she just kinda left.”

“Why did you ask her to stay if you guys didn’t hit it off?”

“I don’t know,” he mumbles, “It felt yucky asking her to leave after we hooked up.”

“Oh, Jun,” you pout your lip out sincerely, “You’re many things, most of them being dumb, but you really are a sweetheart. I’m beginning to think half your problem is that you’re going for the wrong type.”

He accidentally bumps the register and the cash drawer comes flying out, the corner of it nailing him in the hip. He bows over and you scramble off the counter. “Shit, are you okay? I told Jim to fix the fucking drawer!”

You tug his shirt up and sure enough there is a small cut, purple and angry. “Ouch,” he says dumbly but you’re already dragging him to the back office by the arm, grumbling about giving your manager an earful when you spoke to him next. Jun patiently waits as you slam drawers and cabinets until you find a first aid kit and start grabbing things out of it.

“What do you mean I’m going for the wrong type?” he asks, wincing when you dab his cut with alcohol as gently as you can.

“Well, I don’t think you’re shallow or anything but you like pretty girls and most of time, the ones you pick, have nothing in common with you, interests or personality wise.”

“Soooo I have to find a girl who likes all the things I like?”

You snort. That’s a unicorn of a woman. “No, just find a girl who likes you for you, stupid. Someone who cares enough about you to be interested in your hobbies just because they make you happy and understands the way your tiny brain works.”

Jun hums in thought as you smooth a Band-Aid over his cut with your thumb softly. He glances down at the crown of your head and his eyes widen in shock and sudden realization .

“Like you…”

You pick your head up. “What?”

“You like me for me-”

You stand up and put your hands out about to cut him off but he advances on you, thoughts spewing from his lips in a mad dash to spell out the connection.

“You like me even though you think I'm dumb and immature. You always laugh at my jokes and listen to me talk about all the stuff I like and we play games together and you like the same kind of movies! Plus, you’re the only girl who didn’t think my collectables were weird! We have so much in common!”

“Yeah!” You shout back in a panic, “We both like girls!”

“I know! We’re perfect for each other! Wait- I thought you were bi…”

What the fuck is happening?

“I am but I haven’t been with a guy in…years,” you let out a breath as Jun takes a step back, “I’ve had like a handful of experiences with men and they’ve all been super disappointing. I haven’t even been interested in a guy because wait-”

You point your finger at him accusingly, “Are you my designated golden retriever boy?!”

Jun points to himself questioningly, “Is that a thing? I’m more of a cat gu-”

“No, no,” you push past him and start your closing duties, rushing to be finished and get out of the shop, “We’re not even entertaining this train of thought. Go do the floors.”

He purses his lips and swallows at your frantic movements deciding it’s probably in his best interest to just do as he’s told…and quickly.

He rushes around speed cleaning the floors and taking the trash out while you shut everything else down, which is relatively easy. You do get stuck counting the cash deposit four times though. Too easily distracted by your errant and wholly ridiculous thoughts. Twenty minutes later, you're locking the doors while Jun rocks on his heels, hands dug in his pockets.

“I’m sorry for making things weird,” he says quietly, “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfy.”

You drop your head, still facing the door before forcing yourself to turn and look at him, “I’m not upset with you, noodle head.”

“Promise?”

He sticks out a pinky and wiggles it.

You snort and then link your own. “Promise.”

Jun grins and bounces on his feet, “Cool. Wanna come over and watch scary movies?”

It’s one o’clock in the morning but you’re not tired and Jun is actually your favorite movie buddy because you both can talk through it without missing anything and critique the plot the whole time. Plus, he has comfy clothes and good snacks.

“I get your Karasuno hoodie.”

“Deal.”

“Dude,” you snort, biting off another piece of your sour gummy worm and twirling it around, “Can you believe they cut her out of the last film?”

Jun tosses his head back, “Right?! She was one of the best characters and her arc was trash. It was such a waste.”

He attempts to reach for the bag but keeps missing so you grab a hand full and shove it in his mouth, both your eyes still glued to the screen. It’s pitch black in the room aside from the tv and you’re both huddled up on Jun’s couch bundled in his hoodies, pajama pants, and blankets. Plus the Snorlax plushie you stole off his bed. It’s so stupid soft and squishy.

The table is littered with snacks, candy, empty noodle cups, and your bra which you carelessly ditched early on. Comfort was key on movie nights and Jun never once made it a big deal.

When the credits finally roll Jun claps like a buffoon and laughing, you stretch our your limbs, your tendency to sit like a pretzel making your joints stiff. He turns and holds up the remote. “One more?” he asks hopefully.

You hum, indecision splitting your mind. You do want to watch another but you know you’ll be too tired to drive home afterward. It would have to wait for another night and you explain as much. Jun pouts for half a second, but he never makes you feel bad when you decide to go. He grabs the things from the table and carries them all back to the kitchen while you stuff your bra and uniform into your bag. You’d bring his clothes back another time.

When Jun returns, he meets you at the door and prepares to walk down to the parking lot with you, an oddly endearing habit of his you’ve always liked. You go to grab the door handle but something makes you turn around and look at him.

He smiles back at you even though he’s not sure why you’re looking at him in the first place and a sudden curiosity overcomes you.

“Can I try something?”

“Uh,” he tilts his head in confusion, “Yeah?”

You slip your hand up to the back of his head and pull him in, pressing your lips against his...just trying it out. Jun’s hands come up in surprise but he just holds them over your hips, not quite touching you. When you pull back you just look at him, your eyes flitting from his deep brown eyes to the little mole near his lip.

“Was that weird for you?”

“No,” he shakes his head slowly.

“Ok…coo-”

Jun presses you up against the door, kissing you harder while his hands slip beneath the hoodie you’re wearing, stroking your bare skin. Your bag falls to the floor and you wrap your arms around his shoulders, sighing into his mouth just as his tongue prods along your bottom lip. He folds over you, caging you in and gripping your hips, growing more enthused with each swipe of your talented tongue against his own.

“Bedroom?” you ask between kisses and he doesn’t even answer. He simply picks you up like a cardboard standee and carries you the short distance to his room, not bothering to close the door. Instead of setting you down, like a normal person, he shifts your weight to one arm while clearing space on his bed with the other before dropping you onto the mattress with a little bounce.

“I thought you didn’t like boys,” he smirks, tearing his hoodie off and throwing it to the floor while you do the same and Jun doesn’t even pretend to look anywhere other than your bare chest.

“I don’t,” you maneuver out of your pants just barely fast enough before Jun is on the bed, hovering over you with a grin.

“Just to be clear,” he wiggles his pelvis against yours, “I have a dick.”

“I’m aware, thank you,” You snort, knocking him off of you just so you can swing a leg over his hips and smirk down at him, “Big dick and no brain cells.”

You slip your fingers beneath his waistband and run them back and forth, tickling his skin and making him giggle. Your nose twitches, smiling hard at his stupidly endearing reactions. You were so hard pressed to just admit that all the immature, boyish characteristics that made Jun who he was were some of your favorite things about him.

This...whatever it was...is physically driven but the rest would certainly cloud the forefront of your mind come tomorrow morning.

Jun startles you out of thought suddenly, grabbing your shoulders and pulling you down until your chests are pressed together, faces mere inches apart. His thumb strokes over your cheek and you peer back curiously. “I wanna kiss you again,” he whispers.

The admittance is so soft and genuine you can’t help but ask why.

He blushes and teases his tongue at the corner of his mouth, “It’s exciting,” he breathes, eyes sparkling in the dim lighting, “Honestly, I’ve thought about kissing you before but I was afraid you’d punch me or something.”

“Wait,” you push yourself up onto your elbows, “You’ve wanted to kiss me? When?”

He hums in thought for a minute. “Uh, anytime you’ve ever laughed at my dumb jokes, rolled your eyes at me, or called me an idiot.”

“I do those things all the time.”

“Yep.”

“So…you…?”

He nods resolutely, “Yep.”

Jun groans at the feeling of your breasts pressed against his chest, your hands in his hair, your tongue dipping past his lips and he wraps his arms around you, blunt nails scratching at your sides. He sucks down air when you pull back, eyes unfocused from your sudden, overwhelming kiss and you flick him in the forehead, sighing down at him. “How dare you make me feel feelings for a man,” you chuckle, kissing the same spot, “You big dummy.”

He laughs in response and you release a strangled shout, holding on for dear life as he flips you over with a devilish grin and wastes not a second before he’s kissing and giggling his way down the length of your body. He reaches the front of your panties and looks up, tilting his head.

“I will crush your head between my thighs right this second, Junhui. Try me.”

“I’m just taking a moment to appreciate,” he marvels, running one finger down the imprint of your folds through the soft material, “Also, don’t threaten me with a good time. I love your thighs and would gladly beg for death right this second if I wasn’t about to suffocate myself in your pussy.”

Not a single woman you’d ever been with paused to say such ridiculous shit nor has any other man bothered to sound so enthused about giving head and it just another box only Jun could check for you apparently. You sigh as he crudely pushes your panties to the side but not a moment later he’s looking at you again, eager hands stretching the material unforgivingly.

“Sit on my face.”

Your neck cracks as you look down at him incredulously, “Sorry, what?”

He grins curiously, “Sit on my face, please.”

“I-” he begins putting everything in motion, tearing off your panties, “I wasn’t looking for the magic word! You…Wait-” he keeps you moving, manhandling you into a sitting position despite your babbling, “You told me you’ve never done this-”

“I haven’t,” he confirms, shimmying further down the bed to work you up and over his shoulders.

“J-Jun!” you shriek as he lifts his head and kisses your bare pussy, “I’ve only done this once with an ex-boyfriend and it did not go well!” your voice catches when he kisses you again, humming happily between your trembling thighs, “Thick girls are not made for face-sitting!”

At that, Jun stops what he’s doing and glares up at you with contempt for whichever sad bastard put that idea in your head. “And I’m the stupid one?” he mumbles under his breath before softening his face, “Do you trust me?”

Your nails dig into his hands at your hips. “With most things, no.”

He rolls his eyes and says, “Shut up,” and then he’s squeezing the junction between your hips and thighs, pulling you down onto his mouth - his hot lips kissing a sucking every ounce of hesitance away until your melting against him, struggling to hold your own weight up.

“Oh, fuck…you,” you groan when he flattens his tongue against you, eyes soft and hazy as he savors and worships his mouthful.

How Jun has ever managed to turn a girl off with this sort of talent is shocking but perhaps that’s why they stuck around as long as they did. They were more interested in his bedroom ability then any of the silly things that came out of his mouth. It makes you sort of sad and then Jun’s rolling his tongue against your clit and dragging you back and forth over his face like a deviant and you can’t seem to focus on how much of an L these girls took anymore.

The sensation has you squeezing your thighs unintentionally, squishing Jun’s cheeks between them and he groans, hands kneading your soft legs and hips. “How…are…you even…still b-breathing?”

Making him laugh is a mistake, kind of, because the vibration it causes sends a tingle up your spine and a hearty moan spills from your lips and that’s just when you give up. You give up trying to carefully hover over him. You give up clinging to some semblance of dignity. You give up the charade of acting like you don’t want to ride his face because you do and all the little poisonous bubbles of self consciousness floating around in your head begin to pop and disappear, and when you slip your fingers into his hair, he moans against you.

Jun gives immaculate head. You’re more than qualified to judge that.

Speaking of…

“Jun,” you attempt to get him to open his eyes but he’s too engrossed in making out with your pussy like it’s prom night until you pull his hair a little harder than intended and he blinks up at you. It’s almost embarrassing how messy and wet his face is when you pull off of him and he starts to complain but you carefully spin around, placing your knees on either side of his head so you can lay your body along the length of his and push down his boxers.

“Sixty-Nine,” Jun chuckles, grabbing a pillow to prop his head closer and then he’s reaching for your hips again, “Cool.”

You blink eight more times than necessary and swallow the laugh building in your chest to instead take him in your hand. It almost feels foreign, having been so long since you’ve actually let anyone with a cock near you but Jun’s is not half bad. More than decent length, a little bit of girth, hint of a curve - if anything your just intrigued by the fact that you had actually wanted to see it, touch it, put it in your mouth and see what sort of reaction Jun had when you teased it.

His tongue playfully pokes at your clit the same time you lean down and circle yours around the tip of his cock and he sighs against you, warm breath making you roll your hips back against him in time with the way you take him in your mouth, experimenting to figure out what makes him happiest. Judging by the hands on your ass that squeeze and flex when you take him as far as you can and come back up to suckle on the head, that’s probably his favorite.

It gets harder and harder to maintain a pace the more enthused Jun becomes, especially when he pushes two long fingers into your cunt, lapping at your throbbing clit over and over. No doubt, on the list of reasons why Jun’s relationships never worked out - giving out orgasms was not in the top ten because when your legs begin shaking around him and his cock pops out from between your lips on a long moan he flattens his tongue and drags it back and forth messily until you’re cumming hard and collapsing on top of him, head rested against his thigh.

“I can’t see,” you murmur as Jun gently rolls you over, giggling at the empty, fucked out expression on your face, “I can’t feel my legs.”

“Mmm,” He hums with a goofy flat smile, “A bit dramatic but I’m flattered…so, uh, do you wanna just like wait here while I,” he points toward the bathroom and you furrow your brows, “And then we can watch youtube or something?”

You prop yourself up on your elbows and give him a funny look, “Are you going to jack off in the bathroom? Alone?”

Jun opens and then closes his mouth and then opens it again, ”Well…I, yeah I’m mean unless you wanted to like…should I not?”

“You’re the eighth wonder of the world,” you shake your head, chuckling in disbelief, “Do you not want to have sex with me?”

Jun’s eyes widen, “What kind of question is that?”

“So, you’re not having sex with me right now because…..?”

“I wasn’t sure if you wanted to,” he answers right away and you have the sudden urge to both smack him upside the head and kiss the living daylights out of him.

The latter wins out and you press your lips to his sweetly, your hand gently cradling the side of his head and you pull back to meet his eyes. “It seems as though we still have a few lessons to go on ‘how to read women’. Letting a girl ride your face for twenty minutes while she sucks your dick is pretty indicative that she’s into you and also in the mood to have sex. If you still can’t tell…it’s okay to ask.”

“Should we start over?” He asks already reaching for your body and you laugh swatting at his chest, “I’m kidding!” he grins and then his voice is so quiet and sincere, “Are you really sure? We don’t have to-”

“Jun,” you stop him with another kiss, “I’m sure. Do you have condoms?”

He scoffs, “Of course I do,” and then he’s getting up out of bed and opening the first drawer of his dresser, pulling something from the back corner.

“....Is that a poke ball? You keep your condoms…in a poke ball?!”

The red, white, and black ball is all too familiar and Jun turns toward you, splitting the ball open and flashing a gold wrapper in your direction. “Uh, yeah,” he whispers, “Gotta catch em all.”

Laughter spills from your lips freely and Jun grins so hard his cheeks hurt because you actually appreciate his juvenile sense of humor unlike every other girl he’s ever dated. Maybe you were right and he’s been going after the wrong type all along and maybe he’ll be lucky enough to be given a chance to prove how perfectly suited the two of you were for each other.

He realizes it’s something he really wants to put effort into and something clicks in his brain. A memory of the two of you at Yo-Nuts, talking while you tossed gummy bears at Jun one at a time for him to catch like a seal, most of which bounced off his face. You had told him that if he really wanted something, if he truly desired to pursue a real relationship, then he had to put forth the effort.

Pay attention to her, really listen when she speaks, let her know you’re there for her, lift her up, make her laugh, make her feel appreciated and understood.

It had sometimes felt like a chore and one mostly unreciprocated.

Except when it came to you. It was so easy and he realized that not only did he freely do these things for you without even knowing but you did the same for him. The teasing and name-calling was all surface level and never intended to be hurtful but beneath all that, Jun knew how much you cared about him. He just never considered there could be a different side to this relationship and now that he sees the potential…

“Jun,” your voice suddenly pierces through his hurricane of thoughts and feelings and he blinks rapidly as you look up at him in concern, “I lost you for like a solid two minutes. Are you okay?”

He shakes his head and laughs it off, “I’m good, sorry. I was just- nevermind…conversation for a different day I think. Did my zombie trance kill the mood?”

Your tongue pokes between your lips in amusement and you slowly shake your head, “No, but it wouldn’t hurt if you hurried the fuck up and played with my tits while you’re at it.”

If his dick wasn’t rock solid already, it is impossibly so right now.

He fumbles with the wrapper, pulling out the condom and rolling it over himself with record speed and then he’s pressed against you, pushing your thigh up, fingers imprinting your skin. The weight of his cock between your folds makes you swallow hard and he uses his free hand to squeeze and knead your breasts, rolling his thumb over your nipples as he coats himself in your wetness, tip poking at your hole.

You accidentally hold your breath when he breaches you slowly, trying to ease his way between your tight walls without hurting you or going cross-eyed at the pressure himself. “Are you okay?” he asks about half-way in, pausing to let you take a deep breath, “Not that I think I have like the most massive dick on the planet bu-”

“It’s f-fine, I know what you mean,” you let out a strained huff of amusement, “It’s still a big dick and the only one that isn’t made of silicone or attached to a body in some fashion that I’ve had in a long time. I’m appreciative but I’m okay - this is okay, Jun.”

The reassurance comforts him and he carefully pushes forward until he’s bottomed out but he doesn’t sit still, instead he starts a slow, shallow sort of rhythm, watching your face with each stroke, still massaging your breasts in one large hard while the other remains firmly attached to your plush thigh. He watches, waiting for that little bit of tension to melt from your features and when it does, he doesn’t hesitate to pick up the pace, drawing his hips back further and driving them home deeper.

Jun can’t get enough between the soft faces and pretty sounds you make, and the way your tender flesh feels beneath his fingers, taking handfuls and drowning in just how much he wants to touch you and please you. Never has he been so utterly enthralled in a partner and maybe that’s because there is so much more than sex involved in your relationship.

He knows he’s slipping right back into dangerous territory but he can’t help it.

Especially not when you reach down to play with your own clit, big doe eyes trained on his, long delicate lashes drawing his attention to your flushed face.

Jun is pretty sure he has never been so excited to cum in his life though he wouldn’t dare voice that, lest you mock him for eternity. He doesn’t really mind though. He sometimes thinks he has some masochistic kink considering the amount of times he’s popped a boner over your smart mouthed, half-hearted insults.

“I think I'm in love with you,” he breathes out accidentally, brain too full of lust and hot air to filter what comes out of his mouth.

“I think you’re thinking with your dick,” you all but moan back to him, cutting your breath short when he pushes both of your legs forward, pressing down on your thighs to angle your hips up.

Jun smirks which is a stupidly hot look on him. “Ah, but my dick and my heart are very closely connected.”

“Guess that makes sense since you have no brain.”

“Shut up.”

You do the opposite, however, no real words come out. Only incoherent strings of encouragement or flat out begging that you will refuse to acknowledge and deny until the end of days pours from your open lips with a clear end in sight. All it takes is a few more rough strokes and he’s pushing so deeply inside that your body gives up and orgasms so abruptly that Jun jerks forward, emptying himself into the condom almost violently as he shakes and groans.

There are several long extended moments of silence as you both attempt to catch your breath and figure out what to say to one another. He attempted to pull out at one point but even that brief bit of movement sent a shockwave through your body and you tugged him down to lay on top of you, forbidding him to move with a barrage of intricate threats.

The problem is that five minutes later, Jun is now too comfortable and half asleep and you’re smooshed under his long, lanky frame.

“Jun,” you mumble against his throat, making him wiggle, “Jun, you need to move.”

He giggles but it’s more so a physical reaction than anything else because his neck is so ticklish and he whispers back, “Noooo~ stay…”

“I’m not leaving dummy,” you roll him onto his back, shuddering at the sudden empty feeling, “We both need to get cleaned up.”

He hums, eyes still firmly shut and you roll your own toward the ceiling. “If you sleep with a condom on your dick will lose circulation and fall off in the middle of the night.”

He springs out of bed so quickly he nearly knocks you over but he grabs the blankets and folds them over you so you don’t fall off the edge as he trips and nearly eats the ground. Finally steadied, he grins down at you and offers a hand up, “I would feel like a loser if it was anyone other than you who witnessed that.”

“You are a loser,” you smirk, “Kind of a hot loser though.”

Jun tilts his chin up confidently, “She loves me.”

“No, I don’t.”

“She does,” he sings, pulling you toward his bathroom, “Do you wanna have a sleepover?”

“No.”

“Ok, perfect! I like to cuddle!”

And then fifteen minutes later you’re both passed out in Jun’s bed - snoring and all. You’re not the prettiest sleeper and neither is he and you’re definitely both waking up a little sweaty because Jun sleeps like an octopus, clinging to you with long limbs no matter how many times you accidentally elbow him in the gut. It’s comfortable though, too comfortable, and that’s something you’ll be thinking of for the days and weeks to come.

“Smash or Pass,” Jun tosses his wet rag in the sink, just having finished cleaning the toppings counter during your usual night shift a few weeks later, “Edward or Jacob?”

You scoff, keeping your voice down considering there were actually a few customers that had rolled in. “Pass on both,” you wipe around the register, throwing your rag in the sink next to his, “The correct answer is Jasper and all other options…other than Alice…are invalid.”

Jun nods slowly, “Smashhhhh...you’re right,” agreeing with your answer and then he shrugs, “Jacob was hotter than Edward - kinda creepy though like no means no….and don’t get me started on the whole renaissance thing.”

You snort, loudly, he avoids saying the kid’s actual name at all costs and the replacements are always top tier. “Wait - who is the ultimate twilight smash? 3-2-1…”

“Charlie,” you both say at the same time, grinning at your cultured tastes.

“Ultimate smash number 2?” he asks and you both respond, “Sam,” within a matter of seconds.

Jun laughs, a hand on his hip, “I don’t know what it is but you just get me.”

You chuckle, turning away from the counter but it ends in a frown when you dip your finger beneath the material of your shirt and find a fro-yo stain at the bottom. “Junhuiii~” you sigh without looking, “I’ll brb, gotta go see if I can rinse this stain out.”

Jun nods and busies himself organizing the donut display though there isn’t much to organize. The pace at night is either steady or so quiet there isn’t much to maintain unlike the day-time rush. The two of you have things pretty spotless by the time you leave each night.

The door chimes and Jun looks up with a big smile on his face that drops into an awkward tight grimace.

“Oh, hey, Rin,” he greets as his ex-something, they had never actual had a label, approaches the register “N-need a donut?”

Rin smiles and leans on the counter, “Long time no see, Wen Junhui. You haven’t returned my call.”

Jun looks out into the dining room as if some random patron can save him from the awkward situation but alas, none jump to their feet. “You didn’t leave me a message…”

He chuckles nervously and presses his finger to the counter, “You know…beeeeeep.”

She blinks long and hard, attempting to squash her temper. “I see you’ve grown so much,” she sighs to herself and then schools a smile onto her pretty face, “Anyway, we should go out, catch up over dinner…how’s tomorrow for you?”

“Uhhh, don’t you have like a guy, like a boy-,” he’s kind of old, “Man, uh, friend?”

Rin shifts uncomfortably, “David isn’t the jealous type and besides,” she leans in further and reaches for Jun’s arm, “I’ve missed you.”

“Hey, did you call for me?” you say suddenly and Jun turns to find you coming up to his side, pulling his arm out of reach with wide eyes and a sigh of relief. Rin retracts her hand and glances down at your fingers ghosting over Jun’s, narrowing her eyes.

She points her manicured finger in accusation. “Are you two together or something?”

“Yes,” you say before Jun has a chance to answer and his eyes grow wider if possible, not leaving your face for one second as you glare at Rin across the counter.

Rin laughs and you smile. “Jun, go check on the security cameras in the office.”

He stares at the space above your head for a moment then looks back down with furrowed brows, “Wait, those don’t wo-”

“Right, they don’t work,” you drawl in a flat tone, still staring at Rin who seems to be losing a bit of steam, “Must have forgot. Go sweep.”

“But-”

“Junhui,” You look at him with a tight smile, “Go sweep.”

He wearily shuffles away and you set your eyes back on Rin. “What are you doing here?”

“Look,” she flips her long hair over her shoulder condescendingly, as if she’s about to impart you with real-world wisdom, “Girl to girl, he’s hot and a great lay, but save yourself the trouble. He’s a man child who cares more about his little dolls and made up characters than he ever will about you.”

“Oh? Is that why you were here trying to ask him out again?”

Rin’s mouth falls open slightly and she goes to speak but you beat her to it.

“Because your super mature, rich, sugar daddy boyfriend is what? Incredibly sad in the sack?” you grit your teeth, frowning in faux-sympathy, “Probably only talks about golf and sailing and 401ks, huh? Lasts like 10 minutes and grunts a lot, hmm? You must be so bored.”

Rin gets angry but she doesn’t yell, too aware of the other people within earshot if she were to raise her voice. “At least he pays attention to me and cares about things other than movies and video games! Dating Jun was like babysitting an overgrown teenager!”

You place both hands on either side of the register, “Have you ever thought that maybe you’re a boring, vapid bitch and you have nothing in common with Jun - who is incredibly thoughtful and intuitive with me by the way,” you narrow your eyes and whisper, “Sounds like that was a you problem - and now you’re here thinking you can walk right in and have him back? As if what? He was just waiting for you to call him back to your side? Like a dog?”

She opens her mouth to argue and you hold up a hand, “Listen, Rin, you’re a smart girl, so I know you’ll understand when I tell you that if you attempt to disrespect Jun like this, ever again, I will shove a fistful of crushed peanuts so far down your throat that pretty face will swell up before you reach the door.”

Rin gasps in horror and you tilt your head, “What? You thought Jun wasn’t listening when you mentioned your deathly serious allergy the first time you met? Ah, it seems he does pay attention - not that you cared enough to notice even though he refused peanut butter everything, which he loves, from the moment he met you, always asked if things were made with peanut oil, etcetera, god forbid he hurt you in some way for being exposed himself.”

She stutters, “I…I d-didn’t know-”

“Of course you didn’t,” you come around the counter and Rin backs toward the door the closer you get, “Now get the fuck out of my building before I-”

The words fall out in a shriek of surprise as Jun runs up behind you, loops an arm around your middle and picks you up, quickly carrying you back behind the counter, “Bye Rin!” he says hastily, “You probably shouldn’t come back…like ever!”

A few customers stare at Rin who quickly disappears through the doors and to you being physically escorted around the counter and out of sight before they go back to their treats. It’s too late for them to make it their business it seems.

Jun doesn’t put you down until you’re in the tiny back office and once he does you cross your arms, “What was that for?! I was handling it.”

He flashes a smile and then rushes forward to kiss you, clumsily running your back into an old filing cabinet but his arms are there to cushion the blow and you’re too busy thinking about how soft his lips are to complain about anything at the moment anyhow. Eventually one hand cradles the back of your head and he eases back, giggling at your closed lids. “Thank you for sticking up for me,” he says quietly and you pop your eyes open, looking back at him.

“You’re welcome,” you whisper, eyes caught on the sincere smile he offers.

Jun lets out a little puff of amusement. “So, we’re together?”

You groan, pushing him back though he clings onto you, unwillingly to let you get away so easily, “I was just saying that to make her leave you alone. I told you we’re not dating.”

He furrows his brows teasingly, “Seriously? I put on the sexy maid costume for you and we had an hour long discussion about pegging. We’re totally dating.”

Laughter knots your stomach and you try to wiggle out of his long arms, “You liked it more than I did, rat boy! Let me go!”

“No!” he struggles to hold his grip on your squirming and twisting, “You’re so cute and I wanna hold you!”

“We’re working!” you hiccup after giggling so hard, “Unhand me you cheeseball!”

Jun suddenly lets you go but catches your hand, grinning like a fool. “Say ‘Jun is my cool, hot boyfriend that I’m totally in love with’ and I’ll let you go.”

You mumble a bunch of words under your breath and tug your arm to no avail, “Wen Junhui, loser extraordinaire, is sort of good looking-”

“And?” Jun raises his chin, eyes peering down patiently.

“- And maybe, is my friend boy, that I l-”

“Love,” he fills in, nodding as he feeds you words.

You fake gag, “Love…in a totally platonic way-”

Jun gasps and your eyes light up, “Liar!” he laughs, “Say it!”

You’re such a liar and you both know it. It’s been weeks now that you’ve practically been attached at the hip - going out, staying in, watching movies, playing games, talking and laughing all the time. Not to mention you’re in his apartment in a t-shirt and underwear more often than you’re in your own these days.

“Having a boyfriend is really going to kill my game with the ladies but I guess if I have to have one, you’re the best option and maybe I do love you just a little. Like the smallest amount. A crumb from the world’s tiniest cookie. Microscopic. I barely like you.”

Jun beams, “Good enough for me,” he loosens his grip and you walk back up the the front to check on things. You’ve both been gone a little too long.

“Since you’re my girlfriend can I call you cute names? Baby, sweetheart, honey, angel,” he offers and you look over your shoulder with a grimace, “Lover, goddess, beloved mistress of the night…”

“Jun…those are terrible and I'm going to drown you in strawberry fro-yo if you do not shut up or if anyone on this god forsaken earth ever hears you call me those things out loud.”

“Yes, my beautiful rat queen. Whatever you wish,” he bows comically and you flap your hand loose from his grip, running back up to the register but Jun is never more than three feet behind you. “Hey, you’re still coming home with me right?”

You ignore him, aimlessly poking at the screen and he leans beside you, still whispering discreetly, “Mingyu finally let me borrow his guitar hero because I told him it’s your favorite…and it’s the original…”

You finally look up at him and he grins, knowing he’s got you.

“Jun is my cool, hot boyfriend that I’m totally in love with,” you murmur and then you look out into the dining room finding only one customer left in the building, pointing him out to Jun, “The sooner he leaves the sooner we get to go play. You know what to do.”

Jun stretches and cracks his knuckles, “I’m about to make this man so uncomfortable.”

“I have faith in you,” you pat his shoulder, chuckling, “Make me proud, dummy.”

He tries kissing you before he walks away but his lips meet the palm of your hand.

“Sorry, I only kiss rat boys who can beat me in guitar hero, you’ll have to wait.”

He walks and then stops, looking very serious and contemplative, “Ok but you can’t play it with Mingyu or Woozi then because they’re like really good and you can only kiss me.”

“I’m not kissing anyone unless you get us out of here.”

“Right,” he focuses his gaze on the poor soul in the corner of the dining room and grins, “Be ready to leave in ten minutes,” and then he’s moving and you’re left giggling behind the counter.

Yeah, he’s still kind of a loser but he’s your loser now and that somehow just feels right.

You know what else feels right?

Giving Jun that overdue wedgie the second you clock out and listening to him complain all the way home that you’re an actual super villain for waiting months for him to let his guard down just to turn around and desecrate his honor in the Yo-Nuts parking lot. All while holding your hand in the car.

Jun is probably right. You two are perfect for each other.

Thanks for reading!

SVT M.List | Main M.List

→ Please do NOT copy, repost, or translate, any of my works here on tumblr or on any other platforms! All stories are copyrighted, Milfgyuu, 2019. ©️

#caratwritersclub #kwritersworldnet #kdiarynet #ksmutclub #svt fanfic #jun fanfic #wen junhui fanfic #junhui fanfic #seventeen fanfic #svt smut #svt oneshot #jun oneshot #jun smut #jun x reader #svt x reader #lana writes #kpop fanfic #kpop smut #kpop oneshot

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bltngames · 4 months

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Mod Spotlight: Sonic Forces Overclocked

So this is an interesting little thing. For those of you not aware, Sonic Forces Overclocked (if I'm remembering right) was originally an attempt to "fix" Sonic Forces by expanding all of the levels and even completely rewriting the story. Obviously that's a big task, and the developers eventually realized that, scaling it down into what could best be described as an "Encore" of sorts -- an epilogue story where the villains make one last desperate final push, spread out across remixed versions of eight of the game's best levels. All told, it's about an hour worth of content.

Which is... actually totally fine. With eight (technically seven, but the final boss still counts) levels, there's plenty to see. Actually, pacing is probably Overclocked's strongest suit.

The original Sonic Forces was a pacing disaster; levels often felt like they were cut off at the knees, usually ending just as they were getting started. That's never true in Overclocked, as each level took me a good 3-5+ minutes to finish. Levels in Overclocked are also massively improved in other ways, too -- all that extra length is put to good use with Sonic's trademark alternate pathways, new enemies, and new interactive elements. Interactivity is up across the board. Sonic Forces loved to lock you into long, obnoxious scripted set pieces but Overclocked keeps you firmly in control most of the time.

Which brings me to something I'm not entirely sure is a complaint: difficulty balance. If you've been reading this blog long enough you know I can be pretty picky about difficulty balancing, and the way its handled in Overclocked is interesting.

Generally speaking, Overclocked treats the boost like "expert mode." It's there for people who know the levels already and want to push themselves to do it faster. At first it's fine -- boosting means you'll miss some alternate paths (shortcuts, most likely) but you can still bumble your way to the end of the level and coast by on C ranks. The further you get into the game, though, the more it starts to punish you for trying to go fast without knowing what you're doing. The safety nets that would catch you in earlier levels go away and Overclocked tells you to either slow down or get serious.

Which... I think I'm fine with? The thing it brings to mind for me is the two Sonic Rush games. My favorite one is Sonic Rush Adventure, because it's more accessible (read: easier to learn) than the first Sonic Rush. At the same time, the first Sonic Rush ends up being the more replayable of the two games, because it's a lot harder to master. The higher skill ceiling has kept me coming back to Sonic Rush long after it felt like I wrung all of the gameplay out of Sonic Rush Adventure.

So the idea of a Sonic game not only facilitating a higher skill ceiling but maybe even encouraging that? Not the worst way to balance things, as long as you keep the less skilled players in mind and communicate things correctly. Which, at least for me, I feel like Overclocked does. It started to kick my butt at certain points, but never in a way that felt too mean or unfair. And that's exactly the way it should be, though it should be noted I haven't exactly put myself through the hell of trying to go for higher ranks.

The one real complaint I have about the levels is something I've been observing for years, and unfortunately my fears came true: the lighting.

I've talked about my monitor in the past. I bought it somewhere between 2011 and 2012, so it's getting up there in years. I believe it was the first thing I ever purchased with my Youtube Earnings. It's starting to get kind of dim in its old age, and it's exacerbated by the fact I like to keep it on its "Theater Mode" setting, which gives me really good black levels (for an LCD) and amazing color. But it's an aging monitor, so those amazing black levels end up feeling a little dark, depending on the game. For those of you who caught my halloween streams this year, you know I ended up switching my monitor to its "Standard Mode" because it flattens the contrast and makes the darkest darks more visible. It could be argued that I should just leave the monitor in "Standard Mode" at this point, but I can't stand how Windows looks with it turned on.

To cut to the chase, I had to turn on "Standard Mode" for Sonic Forces Overclocked. In keeping with the theme of this being an encore, a lot of levels have wildly new lighting applied to them, with many levels set later in the evening or at night.

This blankets a lot of levels in a single color and lots of high-contrast shadows, which makes character, enemy, and hazard visibility incredibly difficult. In some levels with a lot of high-frequency noise (like Chemical Plant) it can be difficult to tell where your character even is on screen sometimes. In other levels, like the revamped Mystic Forest, the blue-on-purple-on-teal color scheme makes for a readability nightmare (as does the Death Egg Core level with Buddy, with a red character navigating a level full of orange fog, lit by pink and yellow lights).

When you're running through these stages at a couple hundred miles per hour, it all blurs together into something that's sometimes either too dark or too muddy to parse. At one point Sonic jokes that Infinite's aesthetic is "monochrome colors" but I'd rather have the levels be readable at a glance than hanging a lampshade on it. Things just need to be a little brighter, with a little more diversity of color to highlight the edges of roads and incoming hazards.

The story is... fine. It's not incredibly deep, and it doesn't need to be, so it works well enough. There's actually a surprising amount here, though, from mid-level chatter, map screen debriefings, and even full on cutscenes. Voice acting duties seem to be handled by Adrenaline Dubs, who I subscribed to last year for their surprisingly good dubs of Archie and IDW Sonic comics. They turn in some pretty high quality work here, often rivaling Sega's official dubbing efforts. My only real complaint is that Sonic's dialog is a little too referential; his call-outs during levels often reference other infamous lines from different Sonic games ("The whole city's on fire!", etc.), and sort of like how the game pokes fun at the monochromatic lighting, there's a line where Sonic even cringes at his own dialog a little bit. "We're admitting it's bad, but still doing it anyway" is not a healthy design ethos.

Earlier I mentioned cutscenes, and rather than the complex, high-budget cutscenes Sega had in the original Forces, Overclocked instead opts for motion comic videos. Artistic duties for these cutscenes are shared between a handful of 4 or 5 different artists, each bringing their own art style to their scenes. Generally, I think this is a good move. A little more consistency between artists would make it feel a bit more polished, but seeing the art style change between scenes has its own charms, too. It really drives home how much of Sonic Forces Overclocked was not only a team effort, but to some degree, a community effort. Many different hands touched this project, and it is better for it.

It's easy to focus on the negative things I said about Sonic Forces Overclocked here and think I came away not really liking it. Nothing could be further from the truth. I think this is a genuinely impressive mod, with significantly better level design than the base game. It has a few problems, sure, but the overall product, when taken as a whole, is absolutely wonderful. This might be a bit incendiary and hyperbolic, but this close to the top of the list as the most fun I've had with a Sonic game this year. If you own Sonic Forces on Steam, it's not to be missed.

Download: https://gamebanana.com/mods/485051

#sonic forces #writing #mod spotlight #sonic forces overclocked #modding #sega #sonic the hedgehog

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stranger-fanfiction-n-things · 2 months

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CHAPTER 2: THE WEIRDO ON MAPLE STREET

This is an Original Character fanfiction. All Stranger Things characters and content are owned by Netflix and The Duffer Brothers.

a/n: This part is heavy. A lot of things are happening. Nancy and Diana's friendship dynamic will be tested throughout the season. I wanted to make this pool party as realistic as possible. In watching this episode, I understand Nancy's want to fit in, but it's at the expense of Barb in my opinion and I wanted to showcase how that feels through Diana. As a dancer, I hate when after finding out I am a dancer, people tell me to dance...it makes me uncomfortable. It's not a skill that is always on for me. The move Diana shows everyone is called a Scorpion (Rhythmic Gymnastic Style).

P.S. This is what I picture Diana wearing to the pool party.

Warnings: Sexual implications. Blood. Peer Pressure.

Word Count: 3511

Masterlist

PART I || PART II || PART III || PART IV || PART V

HARRINGTON RESIDENCE

When Steve said he was having a party, I never expected to be outside in his backyard, sitting on a lawn chair freezing to death. I shiver wrapping my arms around my knees. I have been here for over an hour and have done nothing but sit by the heated pool watching the water. The definition of ‘party’ was as lost as I felt. Tommy H attempts to throw Carol in the pool. She screams trying her best to escape his hold. I lean against Barb savouring her warmth and rest my head on her arm watching everything unfold. Nancy sits in a lawn chair beside Steve. Barb and I were long forgotten once we arrived. I am too cold to care.

“I thought parties were primarily inside the house.” I mumble. “What kind of party is this?”

“A stupid one.” Barb responds with a sigh.

“All they do is smoke and drink. Where’s the food?”

“Eating isn’t in style, I guess.”

I peer around Barb’s shoulder keeping an eye on Nancy and notice she is on her second beer for the night. I groan, feeling restless and stand up to stretch my legs.

“Did you want to go for a walk?”

“Where?”

“I don’t know, around the pool.”

Barb looks at the pool, wrinkling her nose in distaste. “No thanks.”

I pout, but don’t question her and begin my walk.

“Diana, where are you going?” Nancy asks.

“I’m tired of sitting around. I’m going to walk around the pool for a bit.”

Nancy smiles, her blue eyes seem glazed and a little out of focused. “Okay. Just don’t leave.”

“I won’t.” I respond, no matter how much I actually want to leave.

I stroll along the edge of the pool thinking. Steve Harrington throws a lot of parties and I’m most certain the whole school has been to Steve’s house at least once in their lifetime. Which meant Steve’s parents weren’t home often. I look at the towering house and the expansive backyard. I don’t know what it’s like to be an only child, but I do know how it feels to be lonely even with others around. My gaze lowers to across the pool. Nancy smiles at Steve; they’ve been talking since we arrived leaving Barb and I alone. I don’t look at Tommy H and Carol, knowing they’re all over each other, stealing kisses and soft giggles. Instead, I look at Steve. Really look at him. His impressively beautiful hair, the cigarette behind his ear, the forgotten can of beer in his hand, the way he looks at Nancy. Like he…enjoys being around her.

I tilt my head to the side. This is the first time I am privy to observing how Steve interacts with Nancy. He seems more…genuine and real. Not this superficial, arrogant persona he puts on at school or when he’s with Tommy H and Carol. I admit my perception of Steve Harrington is based on how others view and talk about him. He’s the boy we watch walk away. The Big Man on Campus. The Casanova. A glorified asshole. But in being in his house for this brief moment and seeing how he is with Nancy separate from Tommy H and Carol…maybe I had it all wrong and Steve Harrington isn’t that bad.

A gust of wind blows past and I hug my jacket close to me. I am so cold I start to jump up and down. Sauté. Sauté. Sauté. I jump higher landing through my feet. Glissade assemblé. Glissade assemblé. I continue to jump from petit allegro to grand allegro and after a few minutes I begin to practice the Gargouillade.

“Do you ever sit down?” Tommy H shouts.

I almost miss what he said and stop jumping. From across the pool, Steve, Nancy, Barb, Tommy H and Carol stare at me with expressions ranging from awe to concern.

“She’s practicing.” Nancy says.

“For what?”

“The Nutcracker showcase next month.”

Tommy H winces. “Sounds painful.”

“What the hell is a Nutcracker?” Steve asks.

“The Nutcracker,” Nancy corrects. “And it’s a two-act ballet by Tchaikovsky.”

“Bless you.” Carol jokes, grinning. Tommy H kisses her temple.

I roll my eyes, putting my hands on my hips and pace back and forth in efforts to catch my breath. Sweat trickles down my back and I finally feel hot enough to take off my jacket.

“Diana got one of the lead roles in the second act.”

“Nancy.” I warn, marching to the other side of the pool.

“What? It’s a big deal and you should be so proud of yourself!”

“I am but…” I squeeze my jacket. Stop telling them my business!

“How long have you been dancing?” Steve asks me, sipping his beer. I am taken aback by his question.

It’s the first time Steve is talking to me directly and not through Nancy. The first time I feel like he acknowledges me enough to talk to me despite the circumstance being forced upon me by Nancy. It takes me a moment to respond.

“I-I was two when I started,” I stutter, looking anywhere but his face. “It’s how I met Nancy."

“You’re a dancer too?” He directs his question to her.

“I quit last year.”

“Why?”

“I just didn’t want to dance anymore.”

“Why not?”

“I don’t know. I just didn’t…” she shrugs, finishing the last of the beer. Nancy wipes her mouth with the back of her hand. “Diana is gonna go pro one day.”

I feel like I’m going to explode. Steve looks at me again and this time I meet his gaze.

“Pro? Sounds like sports.”

“Dance is a sport.” I interject.

Steve raises his eyebrows, though his eyes tell me he doesn’t agree with me. I’m not surprised because it’s the common stigma surrounding dance. Becoming a professional dancer is a one in a million chance. There are so many odds to win against. Making money is dependent on the opportunities you get and with whom. It’s not as stable as a regular 9 to 5 and the training is extensive and strenuous that most don’t make it.

“Diana has the grace, strength and flexibility.” Nancy continues. “Her lines are perfect; her feet are beautiful.”

“Lines?” Carol questions.

My nails dig into my palms.

"The way she moves is aesthetically pleasing. She can do crazy things with her body.”

“Is that so?” Tommy H smirks.

“Diana, show them!”

My face feels like it’s on fire. Everyone is looking at me now. I shift from side to side wanting the ground to swallow me up. All this attention on me is too much and I feel like I can’t breathe.

“No, no. I-I can’t.”

“Please, Diana?” Nancy begs, clasping her fingers together.

I want to tell her to stop. I hate being asked to dance outside of a studio. It makes me feel like a clown at a circus, ready to entertain and Nancy knows this.

“I would love to see these crazy things you can do with your body.” Tommy H’s tone suggests something else entirely.

“Me too!” Carol adds, leaning back on him.

I shake my head, tucking a loose curl behind my ear. “It’s too cold.”

“Just a kick then!” Nancy offers.

“Yeah, just a kick, Diana.” Tommy H adds, smiling devilishly at me.

“Nancy, I don’t think—” Barb begins.

“Yeah, show us!” Carol interjects, smiling at me.

Tommy H cheers aloud while clapping obnoxiously. I glance at the faces in front of me. Barb looks as uncomfortable as I feel and I can tell she’s trying to help me out of this situation but she is overshadowed by Tommy H and Carol. Steve looks surprisingly hesitant and Nancy’s hopeful face stares encouragingly at me. I close my eyes and sigh, placing my jacket on the empty lawn chair beside Barb. Nancy squeals in excitement as I perform some last-minute stretches to warm up my hips and back.

Lifting my left leg up and grab the outer side of my foot with my left hand. I begin to push my back foot towards the sky as high as I can which is pretty high, considering its already by my ear without much effort. I turn my elbow outward so it’s pointing forward and in front of my head. I lift my other hand and grab my ankle with my right hand and meet my left hand with it. When I straighten my leg and pull my leg forward, the back of my thigh touches my head. I pull until I am in an over split.

“Holy shit. How is that possible?” Steve exclaims. Nancy claps proudly while Steve stares at me wide eyed and confused.

“That’s disgusting.” Carol says.

“What are you?” Tommy H adds.

I immediately let go of my leg and stand straight. They didn’t have to be so mean.

“Okay, that’s enough.” Barb snaps, holding my jacket out to me. I take it from her, sitting in the lawn chair beside her.

The “party” resumes as if nothing happened with Tommy H, Carol and Steve all standing finding someone or something else to entertain themselves with. Nancy watches Steve’s every move, trying to be discreet but failing. Tommy H and Carol stand near the pool and Tommy H tries to throw Carol inside again. Carol screams at the top of her lungs.

“One, two, three.”

“You’re such an asshole, Tommy.” Carol giggles.

Steve comes back with a can of beer in his hand. I can’t see what he’s doing until he quickly opens the can, putting his mouth on the side. I cringe thinking about all the germs on that can. He chugs the beer in a matter of seconds, dropping the can on the ground.

“Is that supposed to impress me?”

Steve plops himself on the lawn chair. The cigarette behind his ear, dangles from his lips. He looks at her feigning confusion.

“You’re not?”

Of course, she is.

“You are such a cliché; you do realize that?”

“You are such a cliché.” Steve responds, reaching for a lighter on the side table. He lights his cigarette and inhales. “What with your grades and your band practice.”

“I’m so not in band.”

“Okay, party girl.” He hands her a can of beer and the blade, challenging her. “Why don’t you just show us how it’s done, then?”

Barb and I look at each other. That would be Nancy’s third beer for the night. Any more and she’ll get sick. I close my eyes praying Nancy won’t do what I think she’s going to do. Barb shakes her head.

“Okay.”

Nancy standing up caught the attention of Tommy H and Carol.

“You gotta make a hole at the bottom—”

“I got it.”

“Yeah, she’s smart, you douche!” Tommy H laughs, crushing a beer can against his head.

“That explains so much.” I mutter under my breath. Barb snorts, smiling.

Nancy pokes a hole in the can of beer and quickly opens the top before she begins chugging the beer.

“Chug, chug, chug! Chug, chug, chug, chug, chug!”

I’d be impressed, if I weren’t so taken aback by the way Nancy was acting. She drops the empty can on the floor, stumbling slightly. Tommy H, Carol and Steve all cheer and whoop for Nancy who curtsies in thanks.

“Barb you wanna try?”

Barb perks up. It’s the first time she’s been addressed the entire night. “What? No. No, I don’t want to. Thanks.”

Nancy pouts. “Di?”

“Absolutely not.”

Nancy looks at Barb one more time. “Come on.”

“Yeah.” Steve encourages. I squint, shaking my head.

“Nance. I don’t want to.” Barb hisses.

Nancy ignores her putting another can of beer and the blade in Barb’s hand. “It’s fun! Just give it a shot.”

“Nancy. She said no.” I interject, sternly. I can’t believe she’s forcing us to do things we clearly don’t want to do.

“Okay. Fine.”

Barb stands up in the centre of the circle. I look up at her feeling on edge about what was going to happen and what could happen. Barb isn’t equipped to poke a hole in the can. She doesn’t know how. The silence is so loud, it’s awkward and I want to grab Barb and tell her to sit down. Barb mumbles to herself, fiddling with the blade. She presses into the can, but the blade slips, slicing through her hand. Barb flinches, dropping the can and knife on the concrete.

“Barb!” I shout, rushing to her. I hold her wrist in my hand to inspect the damage. Blood oozes out of the cut in her palm, trickling down her wrist and my fingers. “Oh my gosh.”

“Gnarly.” Tommy H laughs.

I glare at him, letting go of her wrist. “It’s not funny.” I snap.

“Are you okay?” Nancy asks, her eyebrows etched with worry. She seemed to have sobered up a little.

“Yeah.” Barb says.

“Barb, you’re bleeding.”

“I’m fine.” Barb replies, her voice is shaking and I know she’s fighting back tears. Barb looks at Steve. “Where’s your bathroom?”

“Oh, it’s…it’s, uh, down past the kitchen to the left.” He stands up escorting her back to the house.

I look at my hand and the dry blood sticking to my fingers and quickly grab my jacket from the lawn chair running after them. I can’t stand to be around Nancy right now.

“I’m coming with you, Barb.”

I hold Barb’s hand under the cold water in the downstairs bathroom. Steve left five minutes ago leaving me and Barb alone. The air feels thick and heavy around us as we stand in silence. I know Barb feels embarrassed about what happened and that’s the reason she’s not talking. I understand completely and allow her the time to process what had just happened. Removing Barb’s hand from the water, I quickly soap my hands and rinse them before closing the tap. I quickly dry my hands against the hand towel and tend to Barb. I take her hand and inspect the cut.

“It’s not that deep which is good.” I comment.

“Yeah.”

The cut begins to bleed again and I take a heap of toilet paper and quickly wrap it around her finger tight to stop the blood. Barb watches me work. I tell her to hold the wound tight to stop the bleeding. Barb nods her head and sits down on the toilet seat staring at nothing in particular. I sigh deeply and crouch to her eye level placing my hands on her knees.

“Are you sure, you’re okay, Barb?” I ask, softly.

Dark brown eyes look at me. “I’ll be fine.”

I frown, growing upset with what happened by the pool. “I don’t know what’s up with Nancy or why we’re even here. Did you see how she was acting out there? I felt like I was in a circus and you, Barb. Your hand.”

“She wants us to be her guardians. So that’s what we’re going to do. Guide her and make sure she doesn’t get too drunk and do something stupid.”

“Like sleep with Steve Harrington.” It wasn’t a question. It was a fact. I shake my head. “We can’t stop her from doing that when she clearly wants to, Barb. Nancy can deny all she wants, but she wants to be here. She wants to get drunk and she wants to sleep with Steve.” And it doesn’t explain why we need to be here.

“I know…” Barb says solemnly.

Neither of us say anything for a moment. I am lost in thought, drawling circles on Barbs thighs. If Nancy would just admit how much she likes Steve, Barb and I wouldn’t be here right now. Tonight, left me wondering where did my best friend go. That person out by the pool is not Nancy, it’s a version of her I don’t know nor want to know. She didn’t notice how uncomfortable Barb and I were tonight which is so out of character, I don’t even…I shake my head again, biting my lower lip.

“Why are we here, Barb?” I ask quietly.

“Because Nancy wants us to be here for her.”

“Then why do I feel like…a handbag. An accessory in all of this? Why do I feel like she doesn’t want us here?”

Barb doesn’t answer. I sigh and stand up feeling completely drained. I want to go home. I want to take a shower and sleep. I want to do anything but be here. I hear footsteps and laughter followed by Nancy and Steve’s voice. Barb and I look at each other before springing into action. We are scrambling out the door in seconds rushing towards the grand staircase.

“Nance. Nancy!” Barb calls.

Nancy pauses, hugging the towel against her face, looking at us. Steve continues to walk the steps, not bothering to look back. I observe Nancy. She is drenched from head to toe with bits of mascara gathered around her eye.

“Where are you going?” Barb asks.

“Nowhere. Just upstairs…” she hesitates to respond finding the right words, “to change. I fell in the pool.”

“Why don’t you go ahead and go home. I’ll just get a ride or something.”

My jaw drops. Go home? Go home? She begged us to come and make sure she doesn’t do anything stupid, and now she wants us to leave? That’s all we ever wanted to do since arriving here.

“Nance.”

“Pardon?”

Barb and I say at the same time. Nancy looks at us.

“I said why don’t you go home.”

“I know what you said, Nancy, but you asked us to be here for you.”

“I’m fine,” Nancy says with a hint of attitude. “You guys can go.”

I stare at her for a moment trying to figure out where my best friend went. “Did we do something wrong?

“No.”

“You seem like you’re mad at us.”

Nancy sighs, rolling her eyes. “I’m not mad at you guys. I can just tell you don’t want to be here so you can both go home. I’m fine. I’ll be fine.”

Barb and I don’t speak for a moment. I’m too frustrated to say another word. I lied to my parents to be here. I lied to Mrs. Wheeler to be here. I wanted nothing to do with this and Nancy knew that, yet Barb and I were forced to be here, ridiculed and embarrassed. And Nancy doesn’t see any of it. She only sees Steve Harrington.

“Nancy. This isn’t you.” Barb says, sadly.

“I’m fine, Barb. Just go, both of you.”

Nancy races upstairs without looking back. I scoff shaking my head. Unbelievable. I turn towards the door grabbing Barbs arm.

“Let’s go.” I snap.

I am stunned when Barb resists. She looks at me with sympathy and I immediately know what she’s about to say.

“I’m gonna stay here…”

“Barb, are you serious?” I exclaim. I don’t care how loud I’m being.

“I know, I know,” Barb says pinching the bridge of her nose. “But I can’t leave her here.”

“She just told us to go home and I don’t know about you, but I’m not staying where I’m not wanted.”

“I just can’t leave Nancy here alone.”

My chest feels hollow. What about me? I want to ask. Barb was supposed to be our ride home. With Nancy staying and Barb staying with her, I had no way of getting home. But I refuse to linger around while Nancy stays upstairs with Steve. I can’t call my parents; I’m not supposed to be here across town. I’ll get in so much trouble, I doubt I’ll be able to leave my house for anything other than school and dance for a long time. I can’t risk it. I look at the door behind me. The thought of walking home alone scares me and I wish Barb would leave Nancy and come with me. Be with me, like I’ve been with her when she cut her hand.

My nostrils flare as I push down the tears brimming my eyes. No. This is your mess, Diana. You have to fix it. I swallow the lump forming in my throat and I stand straight holding my head high.

“If that’s what you want to do,” I say quietly. “I’m going home.”

“Are you going to call your parents?” Barb asks, eyes slightly wide.

I shake my head, putting my jacket on. “I’m just going to walk.”

“Walk!? Diana, c’mon. Just stay here—”

“No, I can’t.” I say with finality.

Looking defeated, Barb nods her head, pulling me in for a hug. “Be safe. Please.” she whispers.

I hold Barb tight, breathing in her floral scent. Neither of us let go for a long moment and a part of me feels like this hug was a…farewell. I release myself from her hold and glance down at her finger. It’s still bleeding, drenching the white tissue paper a bright red.

“You be safe too, Barb. Please find a bandage for your finger.”

“Yes, mom.” Barb teases.

I smile and it feels genuine. “I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”

#stranger things rewrite #black fem reader #stranger things fic #stranger things #dianasinclair #eddie munson x black!reader #steve harrington x black!reader #eddie munson x female reader #steve harrington x fem!reader #sinclair!reader #eddie munson fanfic #steve harrington fanfic #eddie munson x sinclair!reader #steve harrington x sinclair!reader

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3terna15unshin3 · 10 months

Text

Then Because She Goes

Will you stay or wait?

★ Chapter 15 of 15, 8147 words

★ Matty Healy x Original Female Character

★ warnings: !!! mature content, minors please do not interact !!!, smut, oral (male receiving), unprotected sex, alcohol consumption

<< 14

12 August, 2022

With his hands rummaging through the plastic bag that had been sitting near his feet for the whole road trip, Matty searched for an empty bottle. He had downed one of Coke about an hour in, so he knew it should be in there—he just couldn’t seem to find it amongst the rest of the rubbish.

“You’re not weeing in my fucking car, Matty!” exclaimed Este, attempting to keep her eyes on the road but ultimately being drawn away into the man-child sitting next to her and all of his antics.

Matty continued sifting through the bag, ignoring her protests. “Please, it’s not like I’m gonna piss on your floor. And I’ve done it plenty of times before, so my aim is pretty good—Oh! Here it is,”

The Coke bottle from earlier found itself in his hands, preparing to be unscrewed. Matty had been complaining about his full bladder for the past half hour and the next place for Este to stop wasn’t for another 15 minutes. As soon as the make-shift toilet came into her view, she grabbed it and threw it over her shoulder and into the back seat. It bounced around and landed on the floor, out of sight. Out of sight, out of mind, Este hoped.

“Love! What was that for?!”

“Grow up and hold it in for a couple more minutes.” Este threatened, reaching to turn down the radio’s volume before studying their surroundings in her mirrors and making a risky lane-change. Matty smiled at her habit of needing to quiet down her surroundings in order to focus.

He scratched the back of his neck. “Dunno if I can,”

Her eyes rolled at him. “You’re going to have to.” She said sternly.

“Well, then drive faster!”

Trying to listen to his girlfriend’s orders, Matty laced his fingers together and politely sat his hands on his lap. Focus, Matty, he thought to himself. His leg bounced up and down feverishly, to distract from the pain in his abdomen.

They sat in silence for the last stretch of the road, with Este’s eyes set on the GPS that guided her, and Matty squirming in the passenger’s seat. He kept complaining; and she tuned him out playfully. At one point, he even began undoing the zipper to his trousers, pretending to use Este’s car as a toilet instead of waiting for them to arrive at the petrol station. Matty wouldn’t actually do it, and just wanted to make her laugh. It did—though she didn’t like to admit it.

When they did arrive, he barely let Este put the gear into park before he burst out of the door and ran into the Shell while she refilled the tank.

“All good now.” Matty said when he came back, smiling widely. “No bottle of piss for you today,” They high-fived in silly celebration.

“I think I didn’t want you to wee in here because I’m just jealous. Not even because I think it’s gross.” admitted Este, laughing as she spoke. “I like, anatomically, could not even pee in a bottle if I tried. We’d have to pull over and find a bush for me to squat in.”

He shrugged nonchalantly. “That’s one of the many perks of having a dick,”

“Many?” She gave him the side-eye.

His brows wiggled suggestively. “You know…”

“Shut up.”

A few more moments of navigating led Este and Matty to where they were staying for the next two nights. It was a quaint Airbnb—away from the hustle and bustle of the city, which they didn’t mind, since they’d driven up and could easily use Este’s car to get around. They pulled into its driveway and admired the summer Manchester flora that heaped around the brick walls, surprised at how charming the fairly cheap listing had paid off in person.

Matty brought in their bags while Este creeped around lightly, peeking around every corner and touching things with a gentle hand. She explored as if what she was discovering could break just by looking at it too hard. Her feet trod quietly through the kitchen, into the lounge where the sofa looked particularly comfortable, and then up to the bedroom; where he caught her.

“Is there a reason why you’re walking around like a small Victorian child who has heard a noise in the middle of the night?” He asked, mocking her playfully as he sat on the bed next to his bag.

Este laughed at his tireless description of the timidness that washed over her the minute they entered the house. “I don’t know. It’s not my house—I’m not going to just barge in and throw myself about. I want to be a good guest. You know how I am,”

“I mean, you don’t have to ‘throw yourself about’, but you also don’t have to lift the toilet seat as if there’s some sort of punishment if you let it make a noise,” said Matty.

“You saw that?” Embarrassment was laced through her voice.

“Mm-hmm,” he confirmed, chuckling, “It was very cute though.”

She cringed and sat next to him. Matty’s hand found her thigh that brushed against his as their weight made the mattress cave in a bit. “It’s weird to pay to stay in someone else’s place in a city that feels like home, you know?” Este explained, leaning her head on his shoulder.

The past three years she had spent living in London didn’t waiver her Manchester pride. Este loved being a Londoner—the city was fruitful and ever-changing. It was the hub of her passions and the home of her favourite person. But, it didn’t fret her homesickness from being present; encouraging her and Matty to travel back to their hometown quite frequently. Mostly to visit Este’s parents, or Cate and Georgia.

This time around, they drove up to the North of England to celebrate with the latter couple at their housewarming party. Este was meant to come into the city earlier to help pack up the flat and move everything to their new place, but she was swamped with a head-cold so bad that her weekly column submission was almost submitted late. And it was never late.

It took almost two and a half years to work her way up to writing full pieces for The Guardian. Este spent a long time doing odd jobs and minor assistant editing before eventually getting promoted to co-writing some fluffy pieces with a team full of other writers. But then, at the beginning of the year, she was encouraged to join their literature review group. So now—every Wednesday—Este was a published and working literary journalist. Constantly reading books, and taking whoever flipped open The Guardian through the journey that each novel took her on. It was the second reason she couldn’t bear to leave London permanently; since being close to its headquarters and to where business flourished made work the easiest. The first was Matty, of course.

“I’ve been thinking about that, actually.” he started. “How it’s silly to come here so often and have to arrange a place to stay each time. Maybe we should just get a place here already,”

His suggestion intrigued her. Este liked the idea of having a home in both cities. “Like a little flat, or something?”

“Yeah, if we can find a good one. Just for us.”

“I’m in.”

The shower was cramped and its water pressure was next to non-existent, but alas; both Matty and Este had washed up in preparation for the party that evening. His curls hung damp and defined, while her hair stayed spun into a towel. They got ready—taking their sweet time and dawdling around—content to be doing any mundane task while having one another to do it with.

Both of them learned to appreciate the domestic side of being together after Este moved into Matty’s cold and rigid home, ultimately warming it up with the tenderness of her belongings and maximalist aesthetic. They met in the middle, somehow, and his home—now theirs—couldn’t be more reflective of their personalities. Living together was a challenge almost as identically as being apart was. But it was worth it.

Matty showered before her, so he sat on the bed and slid his party clothing over his towel-dried skin as Este emerged from the toilet. She let her raven hair free and tumble in wet gatherings near her face; still not dressed, and looking as if she wasn’t ever planning to do so.

A pair of cream boy short style knickers hugged her hips and a matching bralette supported her upper half. Este sauntered past him and sat at the wooden vanity where she had emptied all of her beauty products onto when unpacking. Matty’s eyes tracked her movements.

He didn’t say anything, at first. Just continued to button his shirt and fold up its sleeves while she started to put on some makeup. She opened and closed every product, Matty still watching, while delicately bouncing her fingertips to her cheeks and combing mascara through her long lashes. Este could feel his eyes burning into her skin—knowing that he was studying her summer tan that stood bolder next to her pale undergarments, and appreciating the rosiness she added to her face.

“What are you wearing? For tonight?” Matty asked after sensing that she was wrapping up at the vanity.

Este looked at him through his reflection in the mirror, smiling. “I brought a dress, it’s hung up in the closet since I didn’t want it to crease. The blue one.”

She tried to explain which one she was talking about, but since she was in need of putting it on anyway, she just got up to go fetch it. Matty took her spot in the now vacant chair, to lean forward and use the vanity’s lights to figure out his hair. He considered taking a dollop of gel and combing it back for the convenience, but he knew that Este liked when it came to the front and framed his forehead. And Matty liked doing things the way she liked them. So, he left it alone.

“See?” Stepping back into view, Este held the blue garment up in front of her barely clothed body for him to judge. He nodded and looked it up and down. There was a moment of silence as she waited for Matty to voice his approval. “What do you think?”

“It’s nice.”

She dramatically dropped her free hand down to her side. “Nice? That’s all?” The other threw the hanger and dress flat onto the bed.

His hand waved her over, silently asking for her to step closer to him—and once she was in reach, Matty hooked his finger into the waistband of her underwear to pull and close the gap between them, wrapping his arm around the skin of her waist. He met her gaze, needing to tilt his head upwards since he was still sat on the vanity chair and was eye-level with her abdomen.

“I was just sort of hoping you’d look like this all night,”

As she felt the warmth of his hand graze back and forth across her spine, Este reached down to stick her own into his still damp curls. “Well, get your mind out of the gutter then.” He leaned back into her touch. “Plus, I know you couldn’t stand anyone else seeing me in this besides you.” The suggestive smirk could be heard in her voice.

Matty laughed and raised his eyebrows in agreement. “That’s a good point.”

She was about to take a seat on his lap; but her ringtone interrupted the thought. Both of their heads turned to where the sound came from, quickly realising that Este was getting a call. He laid a quick peck on her hip bone before she stepped away to answer it.

The call was switched to speakerphone after she read who was on the other end. “Lolo, hi.” greeted Este. “We haven’t even been away from her for half a day and you’re calling already? Should I be worried?”

“No, no. Nothing to worry about. We’re having fun together so far!” Jos�� explained. “I just wanted to make sure the car journey went alright.”

“Yeah, everything is good. Made it over in one piece. We’re going to leave for Cate’s in maybe an hour or so.” Este put her phone down to remove the dress from its hanger and slip it onto her body, while walking back to Matty and turning around to let him zip her up. It sat on her effortlessly and served as the perfect casual summery outfit; while still fitting for the late night out they had ahead of them.

“Tell her and G I say congrats on the house.” A bark was heard in the background. “From me and Keiko,” he finished with a chuckle.

José called from Matty and Este’s London house, staying over while they were away and looking after the puppy. Keiko (their four month old German Shepherd whose name came from the quirky Convenience Store Woman character that held precious memories for them both) erupted in more excitable barks through the phone after hearing her name.

“I will. She’s doing okay, yeah?” asked Este.

“Of course. But I’m sure she misses you guys. Right, Keiko? Where’d mummy and daddy go?” he started, egging the clueless pup on, and making the two on the phone to cringe at his choice of nicknames. “I’m also a bit worried that I’ve been giving her too many treats.”

Este’s eyes widened. “How many have you given her?!”

She put on a pair of black boots, while Matty held up his two shoe options. Her finger pointed to the black Converse out of instinct—always loving the classic shoe on her boyfriend as opposed to something dressier. He agreed and began undoing their laces.

“She’s just being a good puppy and I want her to know that,” her granddad responded defensively. “Your Lola would have been way worse than me. She’d give in and let Keiko walk her down the street instead of the other way round. So you should be thankful it’s just me,”

The conversation made Matty laugh; both of nervousness, for the well-being of his dog at home, and also of pure adoration for José. What a legend.

“Can I have the phone, love?” he asked, before Este handed it to him and watched him bring it close to his mouth. “Hey. It’s Matty. I like spoiling her too, Lolo. Don’t worry. I get it.” Matty said in a hushed voice.

Her jaw dropped open and the two men rejoiced, both basking in their soft spots for Keiko. “Don’t enable him.” scolded Este. She tried to be angry, but she loved them too bad to care all that much.

They took an Uber to the party after considering that they’d probably have too many drinks to be able to sober up and drive back. And as the city zoomed past them, they watched it through the backseat windows—both fantasising about their hypothetical second house in their second home. What it would look like, where in Manchester it would sit. Each of them pointed at different buildings periodically, pitching their favourites to the other. “Those ones seem too modern from the outside,” or ”This area’s rubbish,” or “Are you serious? Would you live there?” were a few short phrases exchanged between them.

The happy couple in their new house greeted Matty and Este with excited hugs. In the corner, on a sofa and catching up with the other parents, sat Este’s mother and father. Cate insisted on inviting them to give her own parents some company; the pair growing close after her and Este’s long friendship. It was a bit embarrassing for Este to learn that her parents had beaten her there, but she was also happy to see them and be able to give them a squeeze.

“There you guys are! We’ve been waiting for you!” said Este’s dad, giving Matty a firm handshake and then wrapping his arms around his daughter. A series of small hi’s and hello’s were thrown around the room as the lively music filled the air.

Percy planted a firm kiss into Matty’s cheek and followed suit with Este’s. “How’s Keiko doing back at home?“ she wondered.

“I think she’s pretty good so far,” responded Matty, “José’s spoiling her rotten—but we were expecting that. Just miss her already, don’t we E?” He rubbed her hip with the hand that was draped around her.

Este nodded with a pout on her face, thinking about their puppy and how badly protective they were of her. “100%. Should’ve brought her here and let her christen the new house by weeing all over your floor!” she joked.

“You wouldn’t dare,” sneered Cate as Georgia shoved a G&T and glass of red wine into their hands almost immediately, eager to get the night started.

“This is my favourite room in the whole house, E. Look. You’ll love it. I think of you every time I step inside,” the redhead declared as she led the two around for a tour. “It’s not totally finished, but you’ll get it.”

A twist of the doorknob showed them the home office. Cate and Georgia had put together every book they owned and shelved them charismatically. They surrounded the window, framed the desks, and sat in piles on the floor. Greenery of all sorts sat on top of them, and even hung from the ceiling. The rug was warm and welcoming. It was almost as if they captured all of Este’s favourite things and stuck them within the same walls. She could only imagine how lively it must look in the sunlight.

“God, guys! This is lovely,” Matty gushed. “You shouldn’t have shown it to us, though. I think Este will just be mad that I haven’t let her decorate our whole house like this.”

The look on her face confirmed his comment, as Este sheepishly stared. “Can I move in?” Everyone laughed.

Making their way back to where all of the guests remained—mingling and chatty—Georgia poured them another. Matty bopped his head excitedly at the tasteful music and the loud conversation continued. Smiles were bright. The drinks were drank. But as the hour grew late, only the guests who were up for a fun night stuck around; while the few who stopped by to see the house and congratulate the couple began to fizzle out.

So, Este’s parents started to bid their goodbyes. They were planning on making a trip down to London to meet Keiko soon enough, so parting wasn’t as difficult as usual. Some last embraces were squeezed in as they prepared to take off, but before they could, the song erupting from the speakers caught Matty’s attention and encouraged him to hold Percy’s arm back for a moment.

“I don’t know what it is that you’ve done to me,”

SWV’s velvety vocals sung their classic song, Weak, and since Matty had always bonded with Este’s mother over their love for 90’s R&B, he couldn’t let her slip out before dancing with him first. She smiled giddily and took his hand as he guided her to an open space in the kitchen. Their socks on the spick and span tile allowed them to move freely, swaying and tapping their feet to the beat. He twirled Percy around, raising her hand that lightly gripped his up above her head.

They took turns serenading the lyrics to each other, Matty’s eyebrows furrowed with passion, fingers still laced together. Laughter was shared between them whenever the other did a particularly funny dance move or embarrassingly messed up the words. The smiles never left their faces, while Alfonso and Este watched from the door, smiling likewise.

“Can’t explain why your love, it makes me weak.” sounded the final line of the tune, Matty diverting his attention back at his girl as he sang it quietly. He sent a quick wink Este’s way afterwards, making her roll her eyes initially, but inevitably forcing a wide grin out of her while her stomach fluttered. Percy watched silently as her and Matty’s brief kitchen dance party came to an end, heart warm with adoration, physically feeling the love he had for her daughter—and vice versa. With her hand now folded in Alfonso’s, the couple wrapped up with a new round of goodbyes, and Cate showed them out.

When a handful more of drinks were eventually downed, it was shocking to suddenly hear the conversation turn professional. Cate found herself sitting next to Matty, her current higher up (the new album called for some extra brains for art direction and graphic design—so onto the team she came), discussing the importance of typography.

“I really like the idea of keeping the really simple and sophisticated serif text, even with tour merch. It’s chic.” she rambled.

He nodded, agreeing. “It’ll fit with the aesthetic, for sure. I did want to incorporate a couple of more grungier designs though. Maybe something hand-drawn or messy. More abstract, maybe.”

“Sure, sure. That makes sense to me. Patty may have some good material for those types of designs. A good balance between both should work out well, since—”

“You know you guys aren’t on the clock, right?” Este butted in, taking a sip of her gin and tonic.

Cate snapped out of it and her cheeks grew rosy. “Sorry,” she apologised, “But honestly, the North American tour starts in less than 3 months, and what’s already done for the singles and for festival season won’t even fill half of a headline merch table… So we’ve gotta crack on with it asap.”

“Then talk about it when you’re sitting in an office and can click around on your iPad, not when you’re pissed off champagne and hosting a house party!” exclaimed Georgia. The small circle of guests erupted in chuckled at her fair point. “I bet you two couldn’t quit the work-talk for more than 45 minutes,”

Matty raised his hands in the air defensively. “Hey, my work is my life. You know that, Georgia.” he said with a grossly confident and purposefully pretentious tone.

She rolled her eyes in response. “God, you’re the worst.” But, her hard and sarcastic facade broke when the two erupted into smiles and shoved one another in the shoulder gleefully. “Speaking of work though, why didn’t you bring any of the guys along? Don’t think I’ve seen them since we came down for Este’s birthday. Shame,”

“They’re all very busy boys,” answered Este. “And were gutted that they couldn’t make it tonight.”

Matty nodded, wrapping his arm behind Este’s shoulders and letting his hand find the back of her neck. His fingers weaved through the hair that covered it to gently caress the soft skin right below her scalp.

“They usually jump at the chance to come up to the city whenever they’re given a reason, so I guess they just don’t like you lot enough…” he joked.

“You better watch yourself, Healy. G might cut you off if you keep at it.” warned Cate humourously.

The warm conversation continued, though the couple of the night left frequently to mingle with the other guests. Any time it was just Matty and Este—when they knew nobody’s eyes were on them—he snuck small kisses onto the skin behind her ear. She sat her palm dangerously high up on his thigh, making her giggle after seeing how quickly his muscles tensed in reaction. The alcohol helped escalate the heat between them; but also allowed them to cool off almost immediately whenever Cate and Georgia ducked back into their attention.

Despite their consistent touchiness that persisted even through the Uber journey back to the Airbnb, they passed out cold as soon as they squeezed into the double bed that wasn’t theirs. The fact that they never seemed to party as crazy as they expected themselves to became increasingly frequent. Este liked to make fun of his age, always teasing that he had been handling his alcohol worse and worse (and going to bed earlier and earlier) as he progressed into his thirties; though she only trailed a couple years behind. So, Matty rolled his eyes when they snuggled tightly into the white sheets—both on the extremely tired comedown of being tipsy—and Este interrupted the silence filling the room.

“Is grandfather too sleepy or can I give you a kiss goodnight?

“Not after calling me grandfather, you can’t.”

13 August, 2022

Este awoke early the next morning, and Matty followed not long afterwards. He was still snoring when she first looked over at him, eyes peacefully shut and mouth slightly agape.

When she scooted upwards—now sitting with her back against the headboard—to scroll away on her phone, he felt her movements and internally whined at their lessening contact. To gain the comfort he craved at the start of each day, he rolled over to her and nestled his cheek next to her arm. Este quietly chuckled at his neediness and pulled her arm away; but only to use her hand to pet the stubble growing on his jaw, moving slowly up and down then back up into his messy hair.

Stopping for a second to quickly push her own hair to one side, not liking the sensation of it crowding her neck, she heard a low hum from Matty. He was clearly enjoying her touch.

“Morning, love.” said Este.

He groaned with exhaustion as a response, throwing his arm around her lap.

“You sleep okay?”

His eyes still hadn’t opened. “Surprisingly very well.” Matty squeezed out of his dry throat, words coming through with a low rasp.

She set her phone back onto the bedside table to give him her full attention. “Me too. I think it’s the tiny bed—forced us to cram closer together, and you keep me warm. Maybe we should downsize at home,” Este suggested, half-joking.

An eye finally peeled open, and then the other, and he saw her for the first time that morning. Este’s untamed hair was his favourite, immediately studying its waves and smiling to himself.

“It was cosy,” agreed Matty, sitting up to match her position, “Don’t you like having more room, though, You know, for other things?”

There was a twinkle in his eye, and a tone in his voice that she could recognise anywhere. So, she egged him on.

“Like… What kinds of things?”

Matty suddenly felt very awake. “Just the things I dreamt about last night,” he teased.

One step ahead of him, Este swiftly swung her leg over his lap to straddle him.

“Then tell me about them.”

He had the feeling she didn’t want him to actually tell her anything, as the very moment her words slipped out, Este’s mouth was on his. Slow, and gentle. Her hands cupped either side of Matty’s jaw, while his grazed under the hem of her shirt and felt up her back. She moaned into his mouth at his tender touch—rolling her hips back and forth lazily.

Matty peeled off the oversized tee that covered her, leaving only the thin cloth of his briefs and the lace of her knickers between their bodies. Opening his eyes, he looked down to see her grinding into him while he pulled his lips away from hers. Mouth wide and jaw slack, whining. He throbbed at the sight of it.

The feeling of his eyes on her turned Este on. How they were glued to her in a daze, with pure voyeuristic pleasure, as if it was the first time they were laid on her. She wanted to please Matty. Put on a show. So that he wouldn’t dare look away.

To do just that, Este continued using his crotch to get herself off, the bulge in his pants making perfect contact with her still clothed clit. She steadied herself—hand on the headboard—and whispered his name with desire while Matty’s hands inched forward to work at her chest. Her hardened nipples rolled between his fingers, making her shiver.

Reconnecting their lips, he slipped his tongue against hers while her hand trailed down the centre of his chest. It moved painfully slowly. But soon enough, Este took her hand into his underwear, gripping him boldly. The friction between them left him hard, and leaking. Matty gasped and shuddered when she pumped him a couple of times.

“Baby—“ he said against her mouth, his words hesitating to let a groan lowly, “The sheets. Will we have time to run the laundry before we have to leave?”

“They’ll wash ‘em.” Este threw out the short response, her head hazy and preoccupied with determination.

“What happened to wanting to be a ‘good guest’?” he taunted.

She climbed down his torso to slip his only piece of clothing down his legs, and he helped by kicking them off.

“Oh I’m a good guest alright,” she defended, kissing his upper thigh and still stroking his cock, “Don’t worry. I’ll keep you nice and clean,”

Matty twitched at her words, not getting the time to think before her lips sunk down on him. He held himself up by his elbows, the muscles in his stomach making it hard to stay steady.

She took him in liberally, her nose almost coming in contact with his pelvis as he hit the back of her throat. “Fuck,” he moaned, watching Este’s eyes lock with his as she looked up through her eyelashes.

Swallowing around him and beginning to bob her head up and down, she squeezed her legs together. It grew increasingly wet in her panties, as she tasted Matty’s precum and witnessed his face twist in euphoria. A moan escaped and vibrated over him when she attempted at relieving some pressure by rolling her hips down onto the bed.

Este found a lazy rhythm, teasing him cruelly, making his hips rise with eagerness. Every time he buckled upward and his length grazed her throat, she moaned, driving Matty even crazier.

His chest heaved up and down when she pulled back, swirling her tongue around his tip, and using her hand to stroke his shaft. Este could see his eyes squeeze shut, brows furrowed in pain as she took him deeper once again.

“Stop,” Matty begged, “I don’t want to come alone,”

She didn’t protest. He dragged Este back up to straddle above his cock and kiss her hungrily, her face messy with spit, lips swollen from sucking him. His hand then found her clit, rubbing with perfect speed and pressure, drawing pornographic sounds out of her mouth.

“Matty,” she praised.

“Are you this wet just from taking me in your mouth?” Matty whispered against the skin on her neck. He licked and nipped at it, surely leaving a mark. The taste of what was left of last night’s perfume transferred onto his tongue.

“Always, for you,” Her voice was breathy and desperate. She couldn’t stand another minute of being empty, clenching greedily around nothing. “Just fuck me already.”

Este’s command had him obeying immediately, guiding his tip to her entrance and allowing her to slowly sink down onto him. His mouth fell open, feeling the tightness of her cunt envelope him in pleasure.

She sat there for a second, eyes shut in concentration. Matty filled her up graciously and hit every spot just the way she needed. Raising back up, then lowering down, Este began riding his length with her knees buried in the sheets. She rested her palms onto his inked torso to stabilise herself and persist at her skilled movements.

Matty watched her chest bounce repeatedly and bit his lip at the view he had from beneath her. The pink started shining through on Este’s cheeks, face hot and flushed from the pressure building in her lower stomach. Her skin glistened and was sticky to the touch. So was his. She brought up a hand to comb the hair out of her face, leaving it there and tugging at her own locks near her scalp.

“You look so fucking good—feel so fucking good,” Matty intensely complimented, through a groan, seeing her smile briefly and open her eyes to gaze down at him.

She felt her climax building as she continued using him to fuck herself. Este brought her right hand up to her clit, indulging in as much pleasure as possible to bring her there. Her pace was sufficient, especially for Matty—who sat, fucked out and a moaning mess below her—but Este wanted more. So, she began speeding up, still fingering furiously at her bundle of nerves, pushing hard and panting.

Wanting to make her feel good and give her knees a rest, Matty wrapped his arms around her to make her hips stationary. And without warning, he fucked upwards. Repeatedly, and relentlessly.

“Shit,” Este cried, “Keep going.”

He listened, twitching inside of her as he chased his orgasm too. The sound of his hips snapping up into hers boomed loudly through the room; now full of hot breath and the smell of sex.

Este gasped as he hit a spot deep within her that sent rushes of unwavering pleasure through every inch of her body, over and over. The combination of that and her fingers on her clit sent her over the edge, chanting a string of Matty’s name sensually into his ear, along with every word of profanity her mind brushed by.

She shuddered on top of him, beginning to go limp with exhaustion, but Matty didn’t stop. There was no chance for her to come down from her orgasm when his thrusts only grew harder and deeper.

His lip remained pinned between his teeth, pain written all over his face. With Este’s face now buried in his neck, overwhelmed by the sheer bliss of her climax and how Matty’s cock incessantly pounded into her sensitive post-orgasm core, he shut his eyes to bask in the sensation.

Every stroke brought him closer, and it grew harder and harder to keep up at his pace. Matty felt her tighten around him, making his thrusts grow distraught.

“I’m gonna come, E,” he muttered, voice shaky.

But right before he could (she knew his body so well that he didn’t even have to warn her for her to know), Este pulled off of him, springing downwards to take his whole length past her lips.

The sudden warmth of her slick mouth and vibration of the hum she expelled had Matty coming up her throat. She rose to let it spill onto her tongue, letting him watch the cum string out of his tip; but quickly closed her lips around him again, sinking back down and bottoming out.

Este kept him there for a couple of seconds as his moans slowed to a stop and he caught his breath. Then, she tightly pulled her lips off of his cock—cleaning up his seed, and swallowing it as promised.

“See? No mess.” Este said, a sheepish yet exhausted look on her face.

Matty forced her back up to lay on his chest, bringing her in for one last sloppy kiss. She tasted like him.

They then forced themselves out of bed, for the first time yet that day, to wash up and gather their things for the eleven o’clock checkout time. The shower ran only once, to bathe them both and save time, followed by Matty stuffing his dirty clothes back into his duffle bag. He then flipped on the kettle and sunk some pieces of bread into the toaster while Este pottered around, trying to leave the house exactly how they found it.

Matty carefully spread a thin layer of butter and then another of Marmite on each slice, setting aside two for Este and nibbling on the remaining two himself. They’d initially been rushing, thinking that what they had left to sort would take a while, but their single night in the Airbnb remained a fairly simple and effortless stay. There was still over an hour before they had to be out. So, Matty pulled open the book he was reading, actively trying to do so instead of spiralling on Instagram or chatting shit on Twitter (as of lately).

He waited for Este, assuming she’d hear the kettle go off and join him at the small kitchen table, but her footsteps creaked on the floor between the bedroom and through to the toilet instead of coming nearer.

“Darling, you should eat,” called Matty, listening for her response. He knew that by this time of the morning she’d be hungry.

Este’s ears perked, grabbing one last used flannel and throwing it into the dirty laundry hamper. Her empty stomach drew her round the few corners to reach the kitchen from the bedroom, seeing Matty sat with one leg folded over the other. He sipped on his tea, flipping a page to his novel, then felt her come into view.

She smiled at the small plate and cup of tea he arranged for her. “Look at you, making me toast.”

Matty chuckled, watching her take a bite. He then uncrossed his legs, welcoming Este to reach one of hers from her own chair and drape it across his. Crunches of toast could be heard, along with the swipes of his fingers across the pages of Mayflies.

“How’re you finding it?”

“It’s a beaut, so far. Feels sort of silly reading about stupid young lads causing trouble round Manchester. Bit too familiar. It’s like reading a caricature of my own life,” he responded with a laugh.

“Gorgeous writing though, don’t you think?” posed Este, leaving her bitten crusts on her plate with no plan of eating them.

Matty picked one up and tossed it into his mouth. “Oh, 100%. I mean, this one—where is it?” He began turning back to try and find a certain quote. “Here it is; ‘For a second I floated into privacy: the faraway mood of exhilaration that comes with excess, and I loved the excess, and loved the seeming permissiveness of that night. Who would I call, I wondered, if I stepped into the phone box? And the answer—so free of regret—was no one. I had no one to call and was quite glad about it.’ ” He braced his heart with his hand while reciting the text aloud.

She stood up and picked up their now empty plates, quickly rinsing them in the sink and setting them to dry.

“Absolutely lush,” Este reacted. “There’s a line that I haven’t stopped thinking of since I read it, where it says ‘They say you know nothing at eighteen. But there are things you know at eighteen that you will never know again.’ A quote like that can feel random with a moment that isn't necessarily retrospective—and this one isn’t—but something about its placement was so effective. Blew me away,”

He agreed, and went on. “I loved reliving the naivety of feeling like you have everything and everyone you need right where you are. Pure, proud friendships. How young and freeing is that? God, almost makes me emotional.”

A grin sat on her face. “I’m so tired of you being so profound about literature. Like, this is literally my job.” she complained. “Want to write for the column this week instead of me submitting my write up?”

“Pfft,” Matty shook his head. “You’re forgetting that I didn’t even pass my English GCSE.”

Wrapping up their small breakfast and doing a couple of rounds to make sure they weren’t forgetting anything, they eventually packed their stuff back into Este’s car boot and took off. Matty drove this time, agreeing before the trip that she’d do the journey in and he’d bring them back. But, before cruising onto the A5103 home to London, they headed into the city, to the northern quarter. There was one more stop to make.

Familiar pubs and shops filled them with nostalgia as they drove past and found a spot to park. They stopped a ways away from their destination, wanting to soak up the surprisingly tropical (for England, at least) weather and walk the rest of the way. Left, right, left, right, stepped their feet on the pavement in unison.

The silence they moved in encouraged Este to think about how rare the leisurely and quiet moments between the two of them would get as the year went on. She was grateful that she at least had the time off work to come along for their comeback shows in Japan for Summer Sonic. But, after that, Matty’s busyness would snowball, and by autumn, he’d be gone for months at a time to tour the new album.

“It’s sad that we won’t be able to do this for a while. When everything starts.”

Matty looked over at her, letting go of her hand to pull her into his side, wrapping her shoulder now enveloped by his arm.

“We’ve still got another week until Japan,” he pointed out.

“That’s no time at all, in my head. Plus, you’ll be swamped with more rehearsals all the way up until the day we leave.” she pouted.

“I know, I know,” said Matty, squeezing her briefly. “It’s going to be weird, too. Since we haven’t been on the road for quite a while. Been coddled by getting to have you around all the time.”

He wasn’t making her feel any better. “I’m going to miss you.” Este told him, even though he already knew.

“Don’t start missing me yet. I’m right here.” he said with a laugh as Este snuck her arm around his waist. Left, right, left, right. “Think of it like this—what did you say that one time, ages ago? We’ll be under the same sky, or whatever. Something cheesy like that.”

She bumped his hip at the sound of Matty teasing her, making him stumble slightly out of rhythm. But their feet found unison again.

“That was what, three years ago now? More? Your memory is scary.” Este commented.

“Hey—to be fair—those first days we spent together were like the best days of my life at the time. I thought about you saying that line to me for, like, months after it happened.” he added.

“Sap.”

A Starbucks rounded the corner and an elderly couple walked out. Este studied them as they approached; the man holding out a hot cup for the woman after propping the door open for her. She took it, linked her arm within his, and then took a sip.

Este expected to see her smile or thank the man, but instead a grimace appeared on her face.

“Taste’s shite, Harold.” The old woman complained.

Matty and Este held in their laughs and pretended that they didn’t hear it. Probably was the earl grey, Este thought, replaying the time she first introduced Matty to her grandmother, and how she talked of its flavour in distaste, much like the woman in front of them.

Their feet then carried them across the road. One of the signs on the corner of the intersection read Gore, the other Piccadilly. And they stepped into Greenhouse Books.

The orange carpet screamed with familiarity. Luckily, it was the time of day where Sam was still in—though preparing to head out upon the closer’s arrival—so he greeted them both with a warm hello (a tight hug for Este and firm handshake for Matty).

It was nearing three years since she bittersweetly resigned from the job she held dear to her heart, but also over eight since she’d first been hired. So, her and her ex-boss remained in touch, always up for a chat whenever Este was in town and eager to keep up with where her writing had taken her thus far. The shop was empty; so there they stood, hands still laced together, catching up with Sam. Though reminiscing and thinking of how long she spent revolving her life around Greenhouse made her feel a bit old.

Then, Matty and Este ventured into the shelves, separately, carrying out the purpose of stopping by; to buy a couple of books.

Matty sifted through each book carefully, picking one up with a loud green cover. Its art was charming and the poetic words across it jumped out at him, so he began to look further into it. But, after reading the blurb on the back cover, it seemed familiar.

He remembered that Este had reviewed it, back in June. Matty read every piece she wrote. She’d called it ‘cocky’, and claimed that the author wasn’t interested in his own characters. So, he shoved the lime coloured novel back into the gap left by him picking it up in the first place. One of the perks of loving someone whose opinions on literature were not only trusted by him, but also by a good chunk of the country who read the paper every morning, was that it helped him know which books to shove back in the gap and which books to give a chance.

This time of year was when the shelves were the fullest. Knowing that, Este felt eager to see some different titles instead of the ones she’d gotten to know so well. But truthfully, she realised that it had been a while since she actually knew the shop at all.

Its charm and ambitious spirit never changed—but plenty of books she remembered staring at years ago had inevitably sold, now no longer there. That’s how stores tend to operate, Este thought to herself embarrassingly. A couple of bays had swapped places. And her system for keeping the stationery supplies behind the counter organised had clearly gone out the window (which she noticed every time she came to visit and peered at its mess).

As much as being there made her miss the simplicity and comfort that Greenhouse served her for so long, it also only made Este prouder to be right where she was. How something so peaceful and passion-driven could grow to such a large scale. How it led her to the love of her life.

It felt liberating to have to search to find the poetry section. She couldn’t even recall where it had been back when she was still employed there.

Coincidentally, it was stationed right beside the small shelf of literary criticism that Matty had his eyes on. Her hand trailed horizontally along his lower back when she passed by to get to the desired genre, and she planted a kiss between his shoulder blades. They silently stood—side by side—with necks tilted to the right to read what each spine entailed. They browsed for a while, eventually witnessing Sam take off and leave the shop under one of his employee’s supervision.

She was a polite, bookish girl in her mid-twenties who had Matty and Este plenty of times over the years. So, when they finally had their picks in hand and walked up to the till, she sneakily (and as per her boss’s instruction) gave them a hefty discount. Este knew she would, and didn’t have the heart to protest, so she just purposefully paid in cash and rushed out of the door while shouting a grateful goodbye—not allowing her to give back any change. Chimes were heard as it opened and then shut again, one novel in each of their hands.

Then, with no exchange of conversation, they handed their book to the other. Matty’s for Este, and Este’s for Matty. It was an unspoken rule between the two of them—buying books with the other’s interest instead of their own—the endless stacks of novels upon novels living with them in their London home showing as evidence.

And as they walked away, Matty’s free hand found Este’s, the way it always did, and their once divergent stories continued to blend into one.

The End

#matty healy #matty healy fanfiction #matty healy x oc #the 1975 fanfiction #the 1975 #matty healy fic #tbsg #matty healy smut #smut #Spotify

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peachy-panic · 6 months

Text

Luke and Sebastian Walk Into A Bar

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, @hold-him-down !!! Here is this absolute chaos spin-off/crossover event.

NOTE: The characters of Luke Bennett and Leo Evans are entirely Holdy's. I am just borrowing them to play in our shared most-non-canon cinematic universe. Also, our world building details don't always align so adjustments have been made & rules don't count here.

WARNINGS: BBU/BBU-adjacent, alcohol, talk of sexual content, heavy talks of slavery, asshole politicians

“Vodka soda.” Sebastian saddles up to the last seat at the bar, putting the most distance possible between himself and the next patron.

The place is a dive; dimly lit and underpopulated, both of which are characteristics he actively sought out. It’s been a stressful, exhausting forty-eight hours in Washington D.C., and his social meter has all but depleted. This seems as good a place as any to blow of steam.

Under the bar, he pulls out his phone and types a message.

Early flight tomorrow. Can’t wait to be home. Everything good?

As usual, the reply comes almost immediately.

J: everything is good. we are watching a movie. ezra taught me how to sous vide chicken.

Before Sebastian can type out his response, his phone buzzes again.

J: I’m glad you’ll be home soon.

Something swells in his chest in the way he’s becoming accustomed to when Jaime decides to say the most casual thing that takes an emotional baseball bat to his heart. He shoots off another message, telling Jaime to sleep well and that he’ll see him in the morning.

Just as he is slipping his phone back into his pocket, a man settling in across the bar catches his eye. Not to be a cliche, but the tall-dark-handsome combination has always done it for Sebastian, and this guy is certainly no exception to the rule.

Their gazes meet just long enough for them to acknowledge each other and… Well, this wasn’t exactly the kind of stress relief he had in mind for tonight, but Sebastian isn’t one to look a gift horse in the mouth.

Sebastian doesn't consider himself to be particularly good at flirting, even with the crutch of alcohol, but he has learned to navigate this sort of interaction with enough poise to get by. Usually. It was a learned skill, born out of necessity; if you’re going to restrict all intimate interaction in your life to anonymous strangers from a bar, you’ve got to get good at picking them up.

Still, it’s been a while. Casual sex hasn’t been a big part of his life since Jaime came into the picture, and Sebastian is rusty.

The bartender places his drink in front of him, and Sebastian knocks it back in three long swigs. He slides off of his stool and saunters over to the empty seat beside the stranger.

“Anyone sitting here?” he asks.

The man angles slightly toward him on his barstool. His dark brown eyes cast a look of approval over Sebastian and a small smile flicks up the corner of his mouth.

“Just you,” he says.

Still got it, baby.

“So,” Sebastian tries after a beat of not-entirely-comfortable silence. “You come here often?”

Okay, so maybe he is rusty after all. The handsome stranger raises an eyebrow.

“Zero points for originality.”

“Sorry,” Sebastian says. “I’m usually not this bad at flirting with strangers.”

This earns him a smile Sebastian chooses to read as amused. “Is that what you’re doing?”

“Trying to? I’m not usually this sober when I attempt it.”

“That, I can help with. What are you drinking?”

“What’s that?” Sebastian asks, pointing to the man’s drink.

“Whisky.”

He grimaces. “Nevermind. I’ll take a vodka soda.”

The man waves down the bartender with the air of someone who has been here before. When Sebastian has his drink in hand, he angles his stool toward the stranger. “I’m Sebastian,” he says.

Something hesitant flickers over his expression, just a fleeting moment, before he turns to him with an outstretched hand. “Luca.”

“Wow, a handshake, huh?” Sebastian can’t help but chuckle, even as he meets the firm grip with his own.

A sheepish smile graces his expression. “Sorry. Hard to get out of the professional headspace sometimes.”

“What do you do?”

Luca studies him for a moment, eyes darting over his face in search of… something. Finally, he says, “I’m in politics.”

“Ah.” Sebastian nods. “Should have guessed.”

“What about you?”

Sebastian’s fingers tense slightly around his glass. He briefly entertains the idea of concocting a fake backstory on the fly, but promptly remembers he’s a nervous liar and defaults to the simplest truth.

“I’m a doctor,” he says.

“Oh. Wow.”

“Don’t sound so surprised.”

“I’m not,” Luca lies, then concedes to a guilty smile. “It’s just… you look young is all.”

“Thanks. Pretty soon I think they’re going to let me upgrade from safety scissors in the OR. If I’m really good.”

He rolls his eyes. “Oh, he’s quick with the jokes, too. What kind of medicine are you in?”

Well, this is one way to kill a mood fast. “Shop talk isn’t exactly what I was hoping for tonight,” he says.

The glass pauses halfway to Luca’s lips. He cocks an eyebrow. “And what, exactly, are you looking for?”

Now they’re getting somewhere.

“Depends. What are you offering?”

“Depends,” he echoes. “How much have you had to drink?”

Sebastian smirks. “If you’re into playing daddy, you could have just said so,” he flirts, and the words surprise even him coming out of his mouth. Maybe he hasn’t forgotten how to do this, after all.

It earns a surprised laugh. “How old do you think I am, exactly?”

“I’m not saying you’re my daddy,” Sebastian argues. “Theoretically, you could have a baby at home. Or maybe you had kids young. I don’t know your life.”

“Well, I didn’t,” Luca drawls. “And I don’t.”

“No kids,” Sebastian repeats. “What I’m hearing is… your place is empty?”

This… does not get the reaction he was hoping for. Luca's smile drops a bit, eyes averting to the bar.

“Oh,” Sebastian backtracks, sobering slightly. “I—Sorry, did I misread this? Oh god, please don’t tell me you have a wife.”

“I’m not married,” he assures him. “Definitely not to a woman. It’s just… my place. It’s not…”

Sebastian levels him with an appraising gaze. “I’m trying to decide if you're hiding a body or a rare Barbie collection." Luca flushes slightly and Sebastian decides to take pity on him. “Lucky for you, my hotel is three blocks away.”

Luca swallows down the rest of his drink and flags down the check.

****

As with every hot, steamy rendezvous, their night takes a brief interlude at a 7/11.

At this hour on a Friday night, the cast of characters includes one miserable cashier, a man reciting bible verses under his breath on a loop, and a gaggle of stumbling-drunk college kids. Sebastian’s eyes catch on one of the latter: a boy with blond curls and thin wrists protruding from his cuffed sleeves. For just a moment, at just the right angle before he turns, Sebastian sees a flash of Jaime, and the comparison sends a shockwave through his gut.

In another life, that could be him; laughing with his friends on a Friday night, arm slung around a girl with blue streaks in her hair, being slightly too loud in a public space.

It should be him. He should be here, living a normal, happy life, not holed up in Sam and Ezra’s guest room, waiting for the owner of his contract to come home.

“Next in line.” The cashier’s voice pulls him back to the present, and Sebastian blinks, realizing he’s suddenly a little more sober and a lot less horny than he was a minute earlier.

They lay their items on the counter—a three-pack of condoms, travel sized lube, and two bottles of water—and both pull out their wallets to pay.

“On me,” Luca says, pushing forward a silver Amex.

“Chivalry isn’t dead,” Sebastian cheeks, trying to nudge them back toward the path of flirtation instead of depressive-crisis-in-a-convenience-store.

It almost works, too, until they step outside and a voice calls out:

“Senator Luke Bennett.”

Beside him, Luca stiffens. A man appears in front of them. He casts a look to the condoms and lube in the transparent bag, to Sebastian, then back at Luke. A smirk edges up his mouth and—wait.

Sorry. Did he just say senator?

“Is your boy not doing it for you anymore?” The man’s breath smells of liquor and mint when he leans too close. “I hear WRU has a good return policy for unsatisfactory performance.”

Suddenly, the senator bombshell doesn’t feel all that important. Sebastian takes a step back, watching the image of the attractive stranger warp before his eyes.

“You have a contract?” he asks.

“Ooo,” the man chuckles. “Didn’t mean to stir the pot.”

“No, Richard, that doesn’t sound like you at all.” Senator Luca is all ice.

“I’ll leave you to it.” Richard backs off with both hands raised and a smile firmly in place. “My best to Leo.”

Luke watches him retreat with cold steel in his eyes. When he’s gone, he turns to Sebastian, halfway through an apology. “Listen, I—”

“You have a fucking contracted worker at home?” Sebastian cuts in. “That’s why we couldn’t go back to your place?”

The look on his face is all the answer he needs.

“Jesus,” Sebastian scoffed. “I would have preferred a wife. God, I don’t know what I expected. I guess when-in-Washington, you’ve got to screen your hookups a little better. One, are you a conservative? Two, are you a fucking senator? Three, do you support the literal modern day slave trade?”

Luke’s jaw is cut in a way that might have been hot before Sebastian knew a few key details. He lifts his chin, keeping his voice infuriatingly even.

“I am in the public eye,” he says. “I have never been shy about my stance firmly against the system.”

“That’s one hell of a mixed signal you’re sending.”

And… okay. Sure. Sebastian is being a little bit hypocritical. But his situation… it’s different. Right? And highly unlikely that he just so happened to stumble upon a high ranking government official who just so happens to own a contract out of system resistance.

“I don’t expect you to understand,” Luke says. “But I also can’t fault you for being angry. I’m glad you are. It means you’re one of the good ones. That being said…” He throws a half-hearted wave with the hand not holding a bag of condoms and lube. “It was nice meeting you.”

He’s a few steps down the sidewalk when something possesses Sebastian to call after him.

“What does that make you?” he says.

Luke stops.

“If I’m one of the good ones,” Sebastian repeats. “What does that make you?”

He turns back to Sebastian, and the honest look of sadness in his eyes catches him off guard.

“I try to be good for him,” he says. "I do my best."

And Sebastian knows he should let it go and walk away, but he hears himself respond anyway. “Yeah, you and every other prick who thinks they’re doing these people a favor. I know how that goes. I see it every day, what that kind of ‘goodness’ does to them.”

Luke’s brow furrows. Sebastian’s brain catches up to his mouth a few seconds too late.

Shit.

“What do you mean you see it every day?”

“I…” Sebastian scrubs a hand over his mouth, “You know what? Never mind.” He steps around him, making a beeline for his hotel. This time, it’s Luke who calls after him.

“Wait.”

Sebastian waits. Luke lowers his voice, closing the distance again. “Do you…?” His mouth shapes and reshapes a few attempts at words. “Are you in resistance work?”

Is it really a lie to leave out part of the truth? As long as the part you do say is still true? Probably best to go for avoidance altogether.

“If I was,” Sebastian says, “I probably wouldn’t run and tell the first government representative I meet.”

Something like recognition flashes in Luke's eyes. “You’re in town for the supply trade. A group of medical resistance workers were planning to network in the city this week.”

Sebastian takes a step back. He’s struck with the sudden paralyzing fear that federal agents were about to pop around the corner and drag him away.

“How do you know that?” he whispers.

“I…” Luke begins. “I know someone who does some work in that area. When he can.”

Sebastian crosses his arms. “Public opposition is one thing,” he says. “Knowledge of illegal action against the system is another, Senator.”

Finally, a bit of the hardness in his expressions gives way to a smile.

“Then I guess we know where my allegiances lie.”

#do no harm: jaime & sebastian #the fighter #peachy-panic hold-him-down cinematic universe #crossover #bbu #like bbu adacent?#listen when i told you this was chaotic #i wasn't kidding #but it's a birthday present for holdy and she deserved a treat

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juliapark13 · 10 months

Note

"It all depends on what you see and how you interpret it."

I'm seriously tired of this bs. No, it does not. There’s a thing called FACTS.

Intimacy is intimacy. Though there are some cultural variations, love is love and it looks pretty much the same whenever you are around the globe. Crazy, huh?

Jungkook filmed GCF in Tokyo. He sucked Jimin's ear. Jimmy gave him a hickey. He watched Suchwita with Jimin and Jimin compilation videos for close to an hour and a half smiling and giggling and staying laser focus like we rarely see him do. This is only a teeny-tiny sample of stuff Jikook has done.

Now, ask yourself in which circumstances people have that kind of behavior. Or try to show those jikook moments to the guys that you know. Your brothers, your cousins, your male friends. (Which I’m going to assume you probably don’t have). Ask them if they do the same or would do the same to their best friend. Would they go on a trip with their best friend, film a vlog of their trip and put a love song on the background. Would they suck their best friend’s ear. Let them give them a hickey. Would they watched for an hour and a half videos of said friend with stars in their eyes while watching it.

Yeah, have fun ridiculising yourself. You all saying things like that seriously lack abilities in reading people's emotions. You also clearly don't interact with men, don’t have a circle of male friends. I grew up surrounded by men, in my family and as my circle of friends because I’m what we would called a "tomboy". And whenever I read stuff like "every ship has suspicious moments", "jikook aren’t different from the other ships" yada yada yada I just can’t help but roll my eyes and laugh. Yes, they are different, they are. Sorry to tell you this but what they have is way beyond the realm of friendship, especially for two guys, no matter their cultural background, and I don’t even understand how this is not freaking obvious to everyone in this fandom. You all spend so much time on the Internet rather than interacting with people in real life that you don’t even have the capacity to understand basic human emotions or what? I just don’t get it, it’s crazy to me. You guys make no sense, get out social media for a while and observe the world around you. Watch people. You’ll learn a lot. For real.

Wow. Thank you. 👏🏽🔥

I was a nonshiper. But I get to see GCFT and then GCFS and I couldn’t stop thinking about the fact Jungkook is a perfectionist, he always knows what he does, so could it actually means they are more than friends? Then I get to know everything that happend, while always watching also original content.

I never shipped them, but I think there is no option they are only friends. I think it’s very sad this fandom always overlook and ignore what they do, because their interactions make them uncomfortable (only their). The difference between jikook and other ships is so huge. It’s so obvious.

And that they are still together is also obvious, but at the end of the day everyone believes what they want to believe.

#jikook #kookmin

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rachelsnotebook · 4 months

Text

A Look Back At The Games of 2023

There's always too many games and not enough hours in a year, but I refuse to let that stop me from celebrating the games that were important to me over the course of 2023.

The Games I LOVED in 2023:

(In no particular order)

Atelier Ryza: Ever Darkness & The Secret Hideout (released September 26, 2019)

This game spoke to me on so many levels: the lonely childhood, the frustrations at home, the desire to prove myself, the dreams of adventure, a craving to learn, an enchantment with magic.

How could I not fall in love with these characters? I wish this game came into my life so much sooner.

Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney (released October 12, 2001)

Now, this is a game series that missed me entirely. It wasn't until I was an adult with internet access that I was briefly introduced to Phoenix Wright. Right away I knew I liked the style of humor, but I still didn't feel compelled to give the series a try any time soon.

Flash forward to 2023... I picked up the available Ace Attorney games on the 3DS eshop before it died. So, when I found myself on an airplane for the first time I decided to keep the ball rolling. I booted up the first Ace Attorney, and I get it now. This game is an experience. And I love it dearly!

A Date with Death (Dec 7, 2023)

Now, an important note here is that I still haven't played the full game. I had planned on it by the time I finished getting this massive post written, but I put my focus into playing the other submissions in the Velox Turbo Jam.

The demo though... that I played. A lot. The concept, game mechanics, the art, everything is simply amazing to interact with. How do you not fall in love with this game? Grimmy is so funny (and HOT). I'm looking forward to exploring this game fully in the new year!

Sonic Frontiers (released November 8, 2022 & story dlc September 28, 2023)

I've been playing Sonic for as far back as I can remember, and Frontiers might be my personal favorite of the bunch. It was a joy to explore and experiment with the new mechanics. And I know it's far from perfect. I'm not blind, but I'm not heartless either. Sometimes all you can do is laugh and move on. Over the course of my experience playing, every mechanic and level was accessible. That journey was where I fell in love with Frontiers.

The story dlc was everything I wanted. I'm so happy we got to play as Amy, Tails, and Knuckles! The controls again, aren't perfect, but I'm grateful and thrilled that this content exists at all.

Xenoblade 3 DLC Future Redeemed (released April 25, 2023)

Future Redeemed is my personal game of the year. No question.

If you have a spare hour or two, I do highly recommend looking up on youtube the journey and evolution of the Xeno games. The story of creator, Tetsuya Takahashi, is really cool!

But in short: he kept striving to tell an incredibly complex RPG that would span several games and thousands of years of in game lore. He had a vision that publishers just didn't share. That led him to form his own studio, but he couldn't bring his original IP with him. He had to start again, and one more time after that when Nintendo finally acquired his studio.

The Xenoblade Trilogy is actually six games in disguise. The dlc story content for each game exists as it's own game. The campaigns are significantly shorter, but they're games that stand on their own, 100%.

Future Redeemed was released as the finale to the overarching plot (the Klaus Saga), and this marked the first time that Tetsuya Takahashi was able to bring one of his Xeno plots to a close on his own terms. Xenoblade is still going to continue, but this plot can rest easy.

For the most part. FR still left plays with tons of questions, but it did it's job beautifully. It honored the past games and looked to the future, and I loved every piece of it.

And most remarkably, it also kicked the door down for Tetsuya Takahashi's older IPs to return to the story. It's unclear right now how and when, but the future is so very bright for some incredible games to get another chance to shine.

Splatoon 3 (released September 9, 2022)

I spent a lot of time playing Splatoon this year. Am I good at it? No! But I love this game with my whole heart.

Intertwine (released July 2023)

Will I ever shut up about Intertwine? Hopefully no! I highly recommend checking out the post I made going into detail on this game.

Intertwine stole my heart. It's a fun game that feels deeply special. You'll laugh, you'll cry, and most of all... you'll fall in love with Van.

The Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog (Mar 31, 2023)

A small team put this game together for April Fools and I owe them my life! This is one of my favorite things that happened this year.

If you missed it, for April Fools Sega dropped an entire Sonic the Hedgehog visual novel. And it's AMAZING.

Coral Island (Nov 14, 2023)

The children who grew up on Bokujō Monogatari are rapidly creating their own farming games. Stardew Valley is the most famous game to come from that group and it's inspiring even more people.

Now, as someone who has likely spent years of their life playing their favorite farming games again, and again... I tend to be picky about what I want from a farming game. I have a clear vision in mind for my dream game.

And Coral Island is really close to that dream! There's a ton of love and careful thought put into the art, the story, and the characters. I can't wait to keep playing and discovering new mechanics and secrets.

Suika game (December 9, 2021)

I love puzzle games! And I was sold on this game instantly.

I may have also bought it from the Japanese eshop some time before it was even announced for a North America release...

Titan Arum (released August 2023)

This game came into my life at a time when I badly needed a distraction. And Titan Arum delivered!

Titan Arum is a visual novel with three love interests, and nothing is as it seems. It's so incredibly cool, and I can't believe that I get to be friends with the devs. This game is a massive home run.

The art, the UI, the story... omg we could be here all day discussing everything. There's a ton to chew on and I don't want to spoil a single thing. Trust me on this, just play it.

Yakuza 0 (released March 12, 2015)

I'm still working my way through this one. Yakuza games are known for their length and I'm not interested in rushing any part of it.

My journey so far has been a ton of fun. There's so much detail injected into the world and the characters that I sometimes find it difficult to put the game down. I love the balance of seriousness and silliness. We need more of that in games.

I can't wait to keep on fighting with Kiryu in 2024.

The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom (released May 12, 2023)

Tears of the Kingdom is easily one of the best games of 2023, and in general. The mechanics they got working are incredible! I'm perpetually in awe by my own puzzle solutions and the clips I've seen of others. It's a truly amazing game.

There's little I can say that others haven't. And to be honest I'm still after all these months, collecting my thoughts on this game. I love TOTK, but I do have a few issues with it. So stay tuned for that post in 2024...

Games that released / released a demo in 2023 that are on my RADAR:

Again, I wish on every star that I had more hours in a day so I could play every game that catches my eye. These are the ones I'm jumping on the opportunity as soon as possible!

-Baldur's Gate 3

Yominokuni

Slay the Princess

Curse Crackers: For Whom the Belle Toils

Thirsty Suitors

In Stars and Time

Dicentra

Little Goody Two Shoes

Mario + Rabbids Sparks of Hope - DLC 3

Other Game related media from 2023 that I want to acknowledge:

Sega has been really knocking it out of the park with their Sonic the Hedgehog content:

(There's too much to link to directly so I'm posting my personal favorites)

Tails Tube

Dr. Eggman takes over Lego

Sonic Symphony events

The added Frontiers content:

youtube

Sonic Superstars animated content

youtube

Sonic Dream Team animation

youtube

The incredible announcement for The Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog

youtube

I also must emphasize this praise is for the hardworking teams at Sega. If you haven't been following their unionizing efforts I recommend checking this out:

The IDW Sonic Comics! They're a ton of fun and I look forward to them every month.

Atelier Ryza had a big year of added content. The trilogy wrapped and I'm still emotional watching this video they released to visually recap the story.

youtube

Ryza also received an anime adaption of the first game. I'm in North America and I watched all of it on crunchyroll. It was a really well done adaption of the first part of the game. I hope it comes back for a season 2, because there's a ton more I want to see animated.

youtube

I'm a huge Fire Emblem Heroes addict and I'm always shocked how much original content in that mobile game flies under the radar. The movies for each new story milestone are often really cool.

[I hit an insert video limit so please copy and paste, and check that playlist out!]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B5bIw5CyOLE&list=PLqP2A2xeRzdS3MjLNZvmZnWFYf_zwZqwq&ab_channel=NintendoMobile

I almost made it to the end before I hit the limit!

I can't thank you enough if you made it down to this point. This post spiraled out of control... and somehow this is still it reigned in.

It's almost 9pm on New Years Eve and I just want this post done. So if there are errors, I'm sorry. I tried. I fell into writing as if I'm talking to you directly and I like that level of comfort for a fun post like this one.

Have a Happy New Year!!!

#announcements #gaming thoughts

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rose-tinted-kalopsia · 2 months

Text

#. READ BEFORE YOU FOLLOW. ˚｡⋆୨୧˚

please be aware of my rules and guidelines for this blog before you follow/interact. failure to follow my rules will have you blocked! ageless blogs will be blocked. put your age/adult indicator in your bio or pinned post!

‧ .˚₊ ˚ପ ⊹ . · 𝑪𝑶𝑵𝑻𝑬𝑵𝑻

this is a writing blog, and will contain works written by me as well as reblogs of others' works. however, it is a primarily nsfw blog, meaning that i will be writing and interacting with mature/potentially dark content.

some content i will write and interact with include: dom/sub dynamics, somnophilia, edging/orgasm denial, cum play, temperature play, pseudo-cest, doctor-patient dynamics, teacher-student dynamics, exhibitionism, voyeurism, manipulative/obsessive/possessive tropes (eg: yandere)

some content i will not write but may interact with include: dacryphilia, non con, stepcest, hard incest.

i only write x afab!reader works.

i write for the fandoms listed here, and only the characters specified. stray kids, a k-pop idol group, is a fandom that is listed. for works such as blue lock and lookism where the original source material writes them as minors, the characters in my works will be automatically aged up to 20+.

‧ .˚₊ ˚ପ ⊹ . · 𝑫𝑶 𝑵𝑶𝑻 𝑰𝑵𝑻𝑬𝑹𝑨𝑪𝑻 𝑰𝑭

you are a minor. if you are a minor (under the age of 18) or if you don't have your age on your blog, then please do not send me asks or interact with me! i will start blocking those who do not have an age indicator somewhere on their blog.

you are a character purist/cannot separate fiction from reality ("omg that's a minor!!"). the fictional characters i write for are just that - fictional. drawings. it may not be 'canon', but a character is still an adult if written as an adult! i am someone who believes that a canon timeskip and a fanfic timeskip should be on equal ground. if you are not comfortable with this, you are not part of the target audience—please refrain from sending hateful comments, and just scroll past!

you are anti/hateful/negative. i am aware that this blog will contain mature and dark content. again, if you are uncomfortable with that, please do not interact; this means you are not part of the target audience! please refrain from sending hateful comments, and just scroll past.

‧ .˚₊ ˚ପ ⊹ . · 𝑹𝑼𝑳𝑬𝑺.

mdni. if you are a minor (under the age of 18) or if you don't have your age on your blog, then please do not send me asks or interact with me! i will start blocking those who do not have an age indicator somewhere on their blog.

please respect my work as my own. DO NOT: steal, copy, repost, reupload, modify, or claim any of my works as your own, regardless of credit given. absolutely do not use my works for AI training and other related purposes.

if you know me from my main art blog... shhh! this is a separate blog under a separate alias, and they're being kept separate for a reason! please do not address me here as my other alias, and do not address me on my main blog as roxie! if you know me, hi!! but let's keep it a secret 🥰

be polite. when commenting or sending me an ask, please be nice and use basic manners! use a please when requesting, and don't bring up triggering/controversial topics such as general discourse, politics, suicide, trauma, eating disorders, religion, etc.

interact with me! i do still welcome all kinds of anons, asks, interactions, and requests! please feel free to comment on my posts, talk to me about your days, your thoughts (hard/thirst hours are always open!!), your favorite characters, if you want to be an emoji anon, and all that! <3 i don't bite- i promise !!

requests are encouraged, but not promised! while i'll try my best to get to every request, i only write requests i feel like writing. if it's not up my alley, they will probably go unanswered, but please don't take it to heart!

please be patient with requests. i am a post-graduate student with a part-time job, and other side projects lined up. this is just a fun little thing for me to write some nsfw when i feel inspired, so i may get to requests pretty slowly!

make sure requests are open before you send any in!! and please be specific when you do request, so i know what you want me to write! mention tropes, characters you want, and as many details as you like. don't hold back!

please do not send me requests for fandoms and/or characters that are not listed here.

#navigation #rules #dni #guidelines #divider by mikeykuns #Spotify

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xiaoxiongmaos · 1 year

Text

end (beginning?) of year appreciation post ♡

hello~ this is xixi (also @/choibeomggyu)!

♡ # ⏤ e

@20cm @97chwe @agibbangs @ambivartence ♡ @ashisland ♡ @awek-s @beomgyus @choiyeonjuns ♡ @connecteds @ddonghyun @digitalgirls ♡ @dongjusmilf @dreamaze @euijin

♡ g ⏤ j

@go-saeng ♡ @hearttoshu ♡ @hoyounq ♡ @hueningkai @hwarizon @hyunjins @hyunpic @hyunsung @inhypen @injunnies @innielove @inracha @itshyuka ♡ @jaeyooniverse @jaeyunsim @jihan @junhee

♡ k ⏤ p

@kdongyoung @kyucob @leejinkie @leemarkies ♡ @leenow @letsstaywithstraykids @limsejun ♡ @maatryoshkaa @nevoono @parksnghoon @pjmsdior @polaroidlove

♡ r ⏤ z

@racha @saltys @scoupsy @seonghwaminho @seunglixes ♡ @seungminhos @seungs @slowrabbitpd @smallkore @song-mingi ♡ @strayz @usertae @wonjinist @y2kjungkook @yeonjuins ♡ @yeonjune @yjunies ♡ @yongseungkim ♡

(if there’s a ♡ after your url, i’ve left a little (or not so little hehe) note under the cut for you!)

♡ ⏤

i had originally planned to make a year-end post for all my lovely friends/mutuals which then got dragged into the first week of 2023 on my bday ;;;;; but thank you so much to all the lovely people that have followed this quaint little blog of mine and supported my content throughout my time here on tumblr! i can’t believe it’ll be a whole 1460 days since i made this account later this year... feels like just yesterday i signed up and logged in for the first time ever hehe

it always brings a smile to my face seeing each and every single silly, cute, sweet, supportive tag under any of my gifs, graphics, fanart etc.! i really cannot emphasize enough how wonderful it is to see people like my work enough to reblog it, take time out of their day to gush about it in the tags or send me the occasional ask/dm complimenting any aspect of it (´,,•ω•,,)♡ i truly appreciate all of you.

with the new year finally here and all, i’m sure a lot of people have resolutions and expectations set for the next 365 days so just remember to take it easy⏤start small and that’ll eventually lead you to kick bigger goals out there! you’ll see that every micro-habit has a monumentous impact when you look back on your progress, so read even one paragraph daily or go to sleep 15 mins earlier than you usually would. after all, buildings don’t just appear out of nowhere, you have to stack each brick one by one c: just make sure to not overexert yourself!

thank you to everyone once again, i love looking at all of your beautiful creations on the dashboard and seeing you in my notifications, as well as interacting with you whenever the opportunity arises c:

⏤ ♡

@itshyuka ⏤ oh, where to start... i just really, really, really miss you. a ton. thank you so much for teaching me how to gif, i don’t know where i’d be (probably still getting confused looking at the layers panel dljkdjfjf) if it weren’t for you, lia ♡ late 2019-early 2020 was one of the toughest years of my life and i’ll forever be indebted and grateful to you for being there to cheer me up with your hyuka info dumps, our inspiring conversations and your lovely gifsets. whenever i feel down i go to your blog and feel refreshed just looking at it :D i owe all of my knowledge on ps, vs & anything to do with creating content to you, thank you for supporting me all the way back then to rooting for me even now, no matter how scarce our encounters have become. i hope life is treating you well, and that you become a well-loved and respected educator!

@choiyeonjuns ⏤ vivi! i have been trying to write this for about an hour now; writing, erasing then repeating multiple times⏤how to put everything into a miniature paragraph? words can never truly relay the amount of love i have for you and your blog, thank you for being my friend from day 1 on moablr and always supporting me. i love my little conversations with you whenever they sporadically happen, and i’m so glad we have so many common interests, enabling me to support your content across all of your blogs :3 i hope you get back all the love and support you gives others tenfold, and are always surrounded by happiness!

@go-saeng ⏤ i miss talking to you and seeing you on the dash a lot kashi ;;;;; meeting you was one of the highlights of my 2020-2021 and talking to you was always such a nice part of my day. i’m still blown away each time i see your gfx and gifs on the dashboard as well as am so proud of your gif growth. i also always go back to that runaway & minho + jeongin set you dedicated to me⏤considering all of the effort you put in to make something for myself makes me tear up sometimes... but when life’s rough, the very words you put under them comfort me beyond measure and i gain the strength to face whatever new challenge is thrown my way! hope that you are well and happy, may 2023 bring you loads of blessings!

@hoyounq ⏤ i’m not sure if you’ll see this but you introduced me to so many lovely people, filled my days with laughter and it’s been an absolute pleasure being mutuals with you, han (´｡• ω •｡`) talking to you and hanjess shenanigans on the timeline will forever be ingrained in my heart and i just want you to know that i really appreciate having you in my life! you’re truly the sunshine and rainbows in one’s life personified ♡

@hearttoshu ⏤ jess dearest! i really don’t know what to say dhfdjsd but i appreciate you so very much, always putting up with my incessant rambles about life, beomgyu, my favourite groups and everything in between! you’re such a sweet and perceptive person, always looking out for others and offering your support⏤i hope i can offer you the same. seeing you jaeyuning everywhere makes my heart warm and i’m so glad you got me more into to1 and verivery ♡ i love seeing your creations on the dashboard and in the tags, your sharpening is one of my absolute favourites because of how almost sparkly your gifs turn out to be... like rhinestones under the moonlight! hope you have a lovely year ahead c:

@ashisland ⏤ dear gabi: you’re so cute when you talk about your ults & i can’t help but get giddy whenever i read your tags, both under my posts and when you’re gushing over serim :D i’m so sorry for making you the target of all my non-sense, but i also will tell you that i can’t promise that it’ll cease, you’re the yeonjun to my beomgyu after all djfjddj i love your gifs so much and thank you for spending your precious time to make me stuff whenever you see me talk about it. hope lab gets easier to deal with for you this year and please know that you’re always doing a good job and worked hard⏤please take it easy on yourself, even by just a little!

@yeonjuins ⏤ woo! your talent never ceases to amaze me, from your well-crafted graphics to how you come up with new ways to bully heeseung sodkdkfj i know it’s not been long since we’ve started talking but you have quickly made your way into my list of friends and i love conversing with you ♡ i love your energy and end up feeling content after talking to you. here’s to another year of yeonjuins & your delightful creations on tumblr, as well as our friendship!

@digitalgirls ⏤ thank you so, so much for always supporting my work, jo! it’s lovely having you on the dash/timeline and i always get so inspired by your content, you’re definitely one of my (if not the most) coolest mutuals, the quality on your work and blog is insane :o i still feel so shy whenever i realize you follow me back and have been for a long while ^^; thank you for all of your hard work and i hope you have a wonderful 2023!

@song-mingi ⏤ my favourite atinytual and justbtual... thank you for single-handedly carrying both fandoms on your back and presenting us with all of your lovely content along with it! it’s super fun having you on the dashboard and i love interacting with you; you’re sunshine and rainbows personified too hehe how fitting for hanri! hope you have a lovely year ahead and that there’s loads more of irigifs to see ♡

@seunglixes ⏤ luna! i know it’s been a while but i love seeing your creations, and you, all the same! i don’t think i’ve met anyone who loves felix more than you yet⏤i hope that i can make you a bday present again this year and not miss the date as last year ;;;;; keep creating and loving felix in 2023 as well!

@ambivartence ⏤ thank you so much for always supporting the art i post siyuan! i love seeing your sweet tags under it and also your gifs + fanart on the dashboard! i appreciate the advice and love you’ve given me and my blog ♡ hope you get to expand your reach and develop your art style even more this year!

@limsejun sam my dear friend! i am so glad i had the fortune of meeting you, i really love all of your sets from both your kpop and kdrama blog; you motivated me to start a kdrama sideblog and i hope to engage with your content through it as well~ i’m still holding you to that promise of loving me forever for the sejun url djkafsjfk

@yjunies ⏤ your entire blog is just so pleasing to look at and every single thing you create is really pretty, ana ♡ i aspire to be able to make such beautiful content like yours one day; until then, i’ll simply ooh and aah at everything you put out u.u you’re such a sweet and kind person & i hope only good things come your way, always!

@yongseungkim ⏤ shine! i don’t know if you’ll be seeing this soon either but i love talking to you and hearing you go on about yongseung... thank you for pushing me to be more confident in myself and being my korean teacher (though it was short-lived haha); i hope 2023 treats you well!

@leemarkies ⏤ marie my beloved! i am so glad i got paired with you for the secret santa event last year, as it did lead to us becoming friends. i love reading all your idiosyncratic tags and thank you for supporting my stray kids content since day one! i hope we can engage more this year and that you are surrounded by love & happiness in this one as well as the next ♡

#xixi.2023 #long post #i have no idea on what to tag this thing fdjkssj #but thank you all for sticking around and choosing to follow me/support my content throughout the years; i have made so many mutuals #and friends that inspire me to improve at my craft and become a better person!#and to all the silent followers who reblog from me⏤thank you and happy new year ♡

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nowandajenn · 2 years

Text

Blue Christmas- Eleven (Healing)

Pairing: Chris Evans/OC Kelly

Summary: After almost three years of marriage, everyone would tell you that Chris and his wife Kelly are the most stable, solid couple they know. But behind closed doors, things are tense as they keep trying for a baby, to no avail. When a secret threatens to shake their solid marriage to it’s core, will they be able to pick up the pieces?

I do not consent to have my content, whether it be this story or anything else of my creation, posted by a third party on any other platform other than right here without my permission. This blog is 18+ and is not intended for minors. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Heed the warnings. This is a work of FICTION. I do not claim to know Chris Evans, his family, friends, or anyone on his team personally.

Warnings for this chapter: Heavy, heavy angst. Language. Mentions of adultery. Mentions of miscarriage. Pregnancy. Allusions to abortion but nothing is stated outright.

This beast is clocking in at just over 6.7k words. Probably the single longest chapter I've ever written. The tag list for this story was getting out of control, and more than half the people on it had no interaction with the story at all, so I discontinued it. I'm tagging my nearest and dearest though. I may, MAY, create a google form for a new tag list. We'll see.

January 8th (Six days post accident)

The pain meds they give people in the hospital following surgery pack a wallop, especially when given through an IV. They make me have crazy dreams, turn my attention span paper thin, and have the added bonus of turning my brain/mouth filter virtually non-existent.

I’m trying to pay attention to the conversation that Chris is trying to have with me. I really am. To be fair, he knew when he got here an hour ago that I had just gotten another dose.

“What about this one?”

Chris turns the iPad towards me so I can see yet another picture and resume’ of a home health nurse. It was an idea that he was originally against, but both Lisa and Andi, my main nurse, had both suggested that maybe having someone come in for a few hours a day a couple times a week would be a good thing. As much as he wants to do everything he possibly can for you, he also knows he’s only one person. After not hearing a response, and thinking maybe I had dozed off into a narcotic induced nap, he looks up to see me using my good hand to fiddle with the end of the braid that the nurse had put my hair into earlier after the shower that I’d finally been allowed to have after days of bed baths.

Showers used to be glorious things. Water turned up to near scalding levels, music playing loud with me singing loudly (and badly) along, and nice shampoo and shower gel that smells amazing. This was not that. This was an entire process that took nearly an hour, starting with my casted leg and equally casted arm being wrapped in waterproof plastic and ending with me in tears because washing long hair takes two functional hands, and I only had one. There’s zero dignity in having another person give you a shower when you’re a grown woman who’s been showering and bathing by herself for many years now without issue. The nurse had been amazingly sweet and sympathetic and helped me with whatever I couldn’t do on my own (which was a lot), but the whole experience just left me feeling useless and depressed.

A soft touch to my hand brings me back to the present.

“Where’d you go?” he asks softly.

”My hair smells weird.”

He leans forward a bit so he can get a whiff of my hair. “It smells okay to me.”

“It’s not the same. It’s weird, clinical hospital shampoo. It doesn’t smell good like mine.” I lament. “I couldn’t even wash my own hair today. It’s too long, and I couldn’t do it with one hand. I can’t even-”

My voice starts to waver and I look down at my arm that’s laying useless in a sling across my chest. Even my fingers are so swollen and bruised that I couldn’t even put my rings on if I tried. My ring finger, which hasn’t been naked since Chris slipped my engagement ring on it some four and a half years ago, feels very bare and just wrong. Everything about the accident and my injuries keeps hitting me in different ways.

I look over at Chris and then down at the iPad that he’s still holding. “Hire whoever you want. I honestly don’t care, and it’s not like I have any choice in the matter.”

He sighs softly, knowing that this conversation was never going to go over well. He knows that I know that I’m going to need as much help as I can get when I finally get released to go home, but he also knows that being as stubborn and self sufficient as I am, my worst nightmare is having someone have to help me do something as simple as get out of fucking bed.

“This is the one thing that’s happened lately that you do get to choose. I want to get someone that you’re going to like and be comfortable with. I can’t imagine what this is like for you right now, and I’m just trying to make life as easy as it can get when you’re home.”

“I don’t know if I’m going to like someone from a goddamn resume’. As long as they can do the job without fucking me up more than I already am, great.” My back is starting to ache because of the position that I’m laying in, and when I go to slide further up the bed, I’m rewarded with a searing pain in my stomach from the movement pulling at my still healing splenectomy incisions.

“Fuck, honey-”

I fall back on the pillows, irritated as hell and over this damn conversation, and the words fly out of my mouth before I can even think about stopping them.

“Just pick someone! Maybe you’ll get lucky and you’ll get another girl who’s going to fall for the irresistible Chris Evans charm, who has no moral compass and no compunction about sleeping with married men. Then you can throw a shot into her too.”

I watch as his face falls, his hand pulling back from where it’s been resting on my arm and a lump the size of a golf ball forms in my throat. I didn’t mean to say that. I might as well just be wearing a name tag that says Hi, I’m: Here To Make Things Worse. I cover my mouth with my hand and glance up towards the ceiling, trying to blink the tears away before they can fully form.

“I’m…..I’m sorry. I didn’t mean….” I start, but the words don’t want to come out.

“It’s okay.” he tries to assure me.

“No, it’s not.” I look down at the fluffy blue blanket that Chris brought me from home and I play with the slightly frayed edge, ashamed and unable to look at the broken look on his face. “This is a bad idea.”

He pops a shoulder. “Could always hire a male nurse.” he says, raising his eyebrow.

I let out a small snort, knowing he said it to try and lighten the mood, but all I can feel right now is trepidation at the thought of coming home with Chris to recover and him taking the brunt of all of my frustrations and emotional eruptions.

He turns the iPad off and puts it on the side table and I watch as he stands up and grabs his jacket off the back of the chair, and my eyes widen.

“Don’t leave. Please, I-” I sputter out, trying to push down my panic.

“I’m not. I’m just going to run down and get a coffee and check in with Shanna and see how Dodger’s doing. Are you getting hungry? You want me to grab you something?”

I squint, trying to remember the dinner options on the meal sheet they give me every day and which one I might have picked.

“Uhhhhh….no. I’ll be okay. They should be bringing whatever I picked out soon anyway. I’ll live.”

“Okay. Text me if you change your mind. I’ll be back. No more than half an hour, I promise.” he says, resting his palm on the top of my head gently.

---------------------

When Chris gets back twenty or so minutes later, I’m honestly sort of surprised he came back instead of just going home and getting away from my emotional, broken ass for a while. And even more surprised that his mom is with him, since I didn’t know she was planning on coming by today.

When they walk in, I’m sitting in one of the chairs in the room with my leg propped up, poking at a dish of red jello with a spoon.

“What are you doing out of bed?” Chris asks, surprised.

“I had to pee after you left, and being in bed was making my back hurt, so I asked if they could just park me here for a while. There’s not a ton of options when all you can really do is sit, so…I’ll be ready to get back in bed in a while.”

Lisa starts towards me and I push the wheeled table away from me slightly so she can bend down and give me a hug, which I return with a strength that takes her by surprise a little bit. Knowing how hard the last few days (hell, weeks for that matter) have been and the fact that your mom isn’t around, she just had a feeling today that you could probably use a big dose of love that only a mama can provide, which is why she decided to pop by and surprise both you and Chris.

She tilts my cheek to the side gently as she examines my face. “Your bruises are looking better.”

“Mmm. Still hurts. Airbags will save your life, but you’re going to feel like you went twelve rounds with Mike Tyson after they go off in your face.”

“So, Chris and I were talking downstairs, and I had an idea.” I swallow my mouthful of jello and look towards Chris, really hoping that he didn’t tell her about what I said. He shakes his head almost imperceptibly and the anxiety in my gut loosens up a bit.

“What would you think about me coming to stay with you guys for a bit when you got home?”

“Chris, tell me you didn’t ask your mom to come home with us to be my babysitter.” I groan. Lisa snorts slightly. “He didn’t ask. I’m offering. I know you’re not crazy about someone you don’t know being in your house and….” she searches for the right words “helping you. And it wouldn’t be for too long; just until you guys get yourselves situated at home and get into a routine with things. It’s just to make the transition a little smoother.” she assures me.

I look over at Chris and he shrugs, gesturing to me. “This is your call.”

I sigh, looking over at my mother in law, who I adore more than anyone in the world. “I’m not great to be around lately. I’m still not convinced that coming home after this is the right thing to do, and I’m afraid it’s really just going to make things worse. I don’t want you both to have to deal with my psychotic mood swings.”

“Sweetheart, if your mood was completely stable after everything that’s happened, I’d be terrified. You’re hurt, and you can’t do the things that everyone else takes for granted without help, and everyone knows how frustrating that is. I know you’re angry and sad and frustrated. And that’s okay. We’re-” she gestures between herself and her eldest son “made of tough stuff. Well, I’m tougher than him. We all know he’s a big baby who cries at the drop of a Hallmark movie.” I sputter out a laugh while wiping my eyes.

“We all love you, and we’re all here for you no matter what.”

January 17th (Fifteen days post accident)

“They would release you on the coldest day of the year.” Chris says as he makes a final sweep around the hospital room that I’ve called home for the last two weeks.

I huff out a small laugh. “Let’s just get the hell out of here before they come back here and tell me that they’ve decided to keep me for another week.”

“They should be back any minute with your discharge papers, and then we’ll go. The doc said he was going to call in your prescriptions to Walgreens, so hopefully they’ll be ready by the time we get there. Or I can get you home and settled in and run back out and grab them.”

“We can wait for them. It’s too cold to be running back and forth.”

I look down at my “going home” outfit and can’t help but feel completely ridiculous. A pair of pink flannel pajama pants with penguins on them (they’re the only thing besides sweats that I can get up over the cast on my leg), a long sleeved white shirt, and one of Chris’ hoodies that’s zipped up over my sling, leaving just my good arm in the sleeve. They removed the stitches from my arm yesterday, but I haven’t been able to bring myself to look at it. The compression bandage that I’ve been instructed to wear all the time (with the exception of showers) is a lot more comfortable than the layers of wrapping my arm was encased in, but still annoying. And it itches like the devil. My right foot is encased in fluffy socks and a shoe, and my left leg is of course still in a cast, a sock pulled down over my exposed toes so they don’t freeze off when I go outside.

My eyes go to the small black wheelchair that’s coming home with me and I squeeze my eyes shut. Because I’ve been instructed not to use my damaged arm for ANYTHING more strenuous than moving it gently to maneuver a shirt on and off, I can’t use crutches.

Chris finishes packing up my backpack, and stops when he sees me staring vacantly at the wheelchair. He frowns, and walks over slowly, sitting on his heels in front of me.

“Hey.” he murmurs softly, snapping me out of my reverie.

“Hmm?”

“This isn’t going to be forever. They said the cast is going to come off hopefully in a couple of weeks, and then they’re going to put you in a walking boot. At least then you’ll be able to get up and move around. I know, I know how much you hate this. I do. But it is not forever.”

“I know.” I hate how small my voice is. “I hate how I have to think about every move I make. I can’t reach for anything because I can’t use my arm. I have to be careful when I stretch or it hurts my stomach. I have to cough or sneeze as soft as I can or else my ribs hurt. It’s just….I feel like a prisoner in my own body right now.”

“But you’re going to get the chance to get stronger and recover.” I look up at him and our eyes meet, and I know we’re both thinking about the fact that the driver of the car that hit me died four days ago from his injuries sustained in the crash, and how that could have been me instead.

---------------------------

When the nurse comes in with my discharge papers and the litany of aftercare instructions, Chris takes them and heads downstairs with my stuff so he can bring the car around to the front entrance. The nurse helps me put my coat and hat on before helping me maneuver myself into the wheelchair and we head down to the first floor.

“You excited you’re finally out of here?” she asks me with a smile.

“And nervous. It was kind of comforting knowing that even though I was stuck in here, if anything went wrong, I was in the right place.”

I see Chris pull up at the curb, and the nurse wheels me outside, and I gasp at the biting cold. It’s the first time I’ve felt fresh air on my skin since the day of the accident, and although it’s beyond freezing, it still feels amazing to breathe it in. It isn’t until I get situated in the passenger seat and we’re ready to drive home that the panic sets in.

“The last time I was in a car I almost died.”

Chris takes his hands off the steering wheel and reaches over to hold my right hand.

“I know.”

“You drive like an insane person.”

Despite the seriousness of the conversation, he snorts, because he knows the amount of speeding tickets he’s accumulated since he started driving is ridiculous. But he also knows that since the accident, he’s been almost hyper aware of his speed and everything going on around him, when he usually just goes on autopilot when he’s driving, like anyone else who drives every day.

“I promise I won’t drive like an insane person with you in the car.”

“Don’t drive like an insane person ever. You can’t control the way other idiots drive, but you can control how you do. I need you around.”

Those words make hope bloom in his chest.

“I promise.”

When we get home, relief washes over me. As promised, Chris drove very carefully and obeyed the speed limit, but I was still a nervous wreck the whole 25 minute drive. Plus, being scrunched in the roomy, but limited space of the passenger seat isn’t very comfortable with my injuries. One the car is parked inside the garage and Chris has my door open, he realizes that he didn’t really think this part through very well.

The furniture inside has been arranged and re-arranged about a dozen times in different configurations to accommodate the wheelchair in the house. He purchased a shower chair for me to make showers easier, he got cast wraps to keep the cast on my leg dry, he set up a perfect little nest with pillows and blankets on our sectional so I’d be comfortable, with remotes and chargers and books, and even a little cooler within reach.

I notice the look on his face that he gets when he’s confused about something or trying to find a solution to a problem, and turn to him.

“You’re trying to figure out how you’re going to get me in the house, aren’t you?”

The sheepish, yet slightly guilty look on his face tells me I’m right. “I have guys coming on Monday to put in a temporary ramp over the stairs in front. But I didn’t think about today.”

There’s two steps to get from the garage into the house, and the wheelchair isn’t going to make it up them.

“You’re going to have to carry me in the house.”

“I was thinking that, but I don’t want to hurt you. You’re still really sore.” he says, gesturing to his chest and stomach.

“I’m pretty sure everything I do for a while is going to be somewhat painful, but I think this is our only option. Why don’t you grab the wheelchair and bring it in, put Dodger in the bedroom until we get inside so he doesn’t knock me down when he sees me, and then come back out and grab me?”

He exhales slowly. “Okay. I’ll be right back. Just…..” he trails off, gesturing vaguely at me.

“Trust me, I’m not going anywhere.”

When Chris comes back out, he comes around to the passenger side and opens the door for me. I turn in the seat, angling myself as much as I can to make it easier for him to grab me and carry me inside. I’m slightly nervous about how much this is going to hurt, but I’m determined to not let it show.

“You ready?”

I take a deep breath and nod. He stoops down and slides his left arm around my back, while his right arm loops under my legs and he lifts me gently, my good arm going around his neck. He’s carried me like this about a million times in the years that we’ve been together, but for some reason, all I can think about is how he carried me (both of us slightly tipsy) like this up to our hotel room after our wedding reception, and me laughing and telling him not to drop me or else I’d get our marriage annulled. I squeeze my eyes shut at the memory.

I open them back up when I feel Chris setting me down on the end of the sofa and helping me get comfortable.

“Are you okay? I didn’t hurt you, did I?” he asks nervously.

“I’m okay. Can you just grab a couple pillows so I can put my leg up though?”

He hits the button on the side of the couch for the foot rest to come up and slides a couple throw pillows under my leg.

“Can I get you anything? Are you hungry? Thirsty?”

“I”m okay for right now. Can you go get Dodger though? I missed him like crazy.”

He smiles and goes to the bedroom to let the dog out, and a second later, I hear the sound of his nails clicking rapidly on the hardwood.

“Hi, baby!” I exclaim, holding my arm out.

“Dodge, be gentle, okay? Careful.” Chris warns.

Dodger jumps up on the couch next to me and immediately snuggles into my side. Luckily enough, he’s on my good side so I can give him pets and belly rubs.

“Mom’s going to be over in a few hours. She said she wanted to give us a little bit of time to get settled in and such. I’m gonna go and unpack our stuff and start some laundry. You have the remotes and your phone and charger nearby….if you need anything, just yell. Or tell Dodger to come get me.”

“I will. I think I’m going to try and take a nap though, honestly. The trip home kind of took it out of me.”

“Okay.” He grabs a blanket from the back of the sofa and drapes it over me, dropping a kiss to my head before he leaves to go get started on unpacking our stuff. As he walks away, he stops to look back at me again, thinking to himself how it seems like it’s been a lifetime since the last time the both of us were in this house together, even though it’s only been about three weeks. As much as he wanted you back home, he never in a million years thought this would be how it happened.

January 25th (23 days post accident)

“God, that feels nice.” I moan at the feeling of Chris’ fingers in my hair, massaging the shampoo in.

“Why do you think I always beg you to wash my hair?” he says, smirking. I catch his use of the present tense, and try and think about how long it’s been since the last shower we took together before the accident. I’m damn near positive it was way different than the ones that have happened since I’ve been home, and probably ended in orgasms all around.

“This is infinitely better than the showers in the hospital. The nurse who always used to do mine had long ass nails. I’m pretty sure one of them is still embedded in my brain somewhere.”

He laughs as he rinses my hair with the detachable shower head. After working conditioner through my hair and helping me scrub myself down and even shaving my right leg and under my arms for me, he steps out of the shower and wraps a towel around his waist before grabbing another one to dry me off. I’m sitting on the toilet lid in my underwear while Chris smooths lotion on me, letting me do what I can reach with my good arm when I say his name softly.

“Thank you.” I watch his eyebrow quirk up in confusion.

“What for?”

“This. The- everything. When we got married, I bet you never imagined you’d have to help me shower and put on clean underwear and take me to go pee.”

He looks down as he continues to rub the lotion into my leg. “No, but I don’t think anyone goes in ever thinking about the worst case scenario where those things would ever come up. But that’s part of the deal, right? For better or worse? That covers everything; not just the good stuff. You don’t have to thank me. It’s my job.”

“You could have just let my mom have her way and let them take me home.” I point out.

He scoffs and shakes his head.

“Absolutely not. For one thing, you and your mom would have ended up killing each other. And for another…..your head is giving you enough grief as it is right now, and being around her would have just made it worse. I couldn’t do that to you.”

I see Chris reach for my shirt and groan, knowing how much it hurts my arm to put a damn shirt on.

“How bad does it look?”

“Your arm?”

I nod slightly and he sighs. “It’s still really raw and red. It’s going to fade, but it’s going to take some time. The doctor recommended some stuff that’s supposed to help with scars. Make them less visible over time.”

“Can I see it?” I ask.

“Are you sure?” he asks. I shrug a bit.

He picks me up off the toilet seat and walks us in front of the bathroom mirror and turns so I can see my arm. I suck in a shuddering breath and close my eyes. It’s ugly. A roughly five inch or so vertical incision straight down my upper arm, red and raw and glaringly obvious. Even when it’s fully healed, it’s going to be ugly.

“If you want, I can always talk to Josh. We can see if he can draw something up so you can cover it up once it’s fully healed.”

I nod as tears leak out of my eyes. Chris tilts my chin up. “It’s just a scar. It doesn’t define you and it’s not the end of the world. It doesn’t make you any less beautiful.” He pivots so my ass is sat on the bathroom vanity and once I’m settled, he pulls the shirt over my head, being gentle with my arm, and then helps me into a clean pair of pajama pants.

“You know, we’re actually getting kind of good at this.” he says as he carries me out of the bathroom and sets me down in our bed.

“I hate that that’s something to brag about.” I tell him, rolling my eyes. “Although, I guess after doing the same thing day after day for a couple weeks, it’s to be expected. You don’t look quite as terrified now as you did the first time we did this.”

February 2nd (one month post accident)

“I’m sorry I didn’t call sooner….I was in a pretty serious car accident a month ago and things have been a little hectic since then. I haven’t been cleared by my doctor to fly yet, so there’s no way we can make it out there. Mmmmhmmm. Yeah, the reservation is under Kelly Evans.”

Chris walks into the kitchen and starts making himself a cup of coffee while I’m on hold with the resort to cancel the Valentines Day reservations I had made back in November. I had a solid plan that I had cooked up with Meghan and his team so he wouldn’t have anything scheduled for the three days I had booked at Post Ranch Inn, but then between finding out about the affair and the accident, my carefully made plan got blown straight to hell, leaving me feeling a little (lot) angry.

“Okay. Thank you again for all your help. I’m sorry again for the late notice.”

I end the call and toss my cell phone onto the island, irritation bubbling up inside me.

“Who was that?”

“Canceling the reservation I made for us for Valentines Day at Post Ranch Inn. I made it before I found out about you fucking someone else. That kind of took the romance out of it a little bit. Well, that and the fact that my body’s still mostly useless.”

My newly (as of two days ago) uncasted leg starts itching to high hell under the walking boot and compression sock I have on, and I start the process of unstrapping the boot one handed so I can enjoy scratching my leg to my heart’s content. I wish I could have gotten a picture of Chris and the doctor’s faces when my cast was finally cut off and a fork, two pens, and a plastic ruler came tumbling out of it, all lost in my attempt to wedge something down there to scratch the itch.

He sighs lightly and turns so his back is to the counter, giving me what I’ve coined his “kicked puppy look.” Most of the time, I feel guilty for whatever I said to make that look appear, but today I’m just too agitated to care.

“Don’t give me that look. You do it every single time I mention the fact that you had sex with someone else. You know what you did. You don’t get to make that face and look like I just told you that Disneyland is closing down forever.”

He walks over to where I’m sitting with a sigh, and reaches to help me with the straps on my boot. “Can we not fight? Please? I know that there’s an ocean of stuff we have to work through, and I know none of this is easy…I just don’t want to fight with you.”

“Just stop. I can do it myself." I tell him, brushing his hand away softly. "You know, just because I still need you to help with most of my basic human functions doesn’t mean that I necessarily like being around you all the time. You’re my husband and for some God forsaken reason, even though you did what you did, I still love you, despite me calling you a cheating shitbag in my head at least once a day. So, just leave me alone for a little while, okay? I was really excited about having this trip happen, and it all got blown to hell in a really magnificent fashion, so let me just sit here and be pissed off and sad about it.”

He holds his hands up and backs away. “Okay. I can do that. Just, we have your doctor’s appointment at 2, so let me know when you need me to come help you get ready.” I look up at him and nod, spinning my phone on the table. He starts to walk away, but then turns back towards me.

“You know, when the accident happened and you were out of surgery, I kind of went into crisis mode. I called my team and canceled everything, because I knew that you were going to need someone to be there for you and help take care of you until you were stronger. And I know that you have a million people that are in our lives that would drop everything and do that for you, because you’re amazing and everyone loves you so much. The parade of people that have come and gone through here since you’ve been home is proof of that. I kind of just took charge, because I didn’t know what else to do….and I don’t think I took the time to stop and ask myself if you even wanted it to be me, given everything that happened.”

“Chris….I did. I wouldn’t have felt comfortable having anyone else do it.”

He nods. “I know that it’s hard for you to be around me sometimes. I know that you’re still angry, and hurt and upset and you have every right to be. I know we’re a mess, but once things settle down a little bit, we’ll get in to go see that therapist that Carly told me about, and we’ll start working through it. That is, if you still want to.”

“I do.”

-------------------------

A few hours later, we’re sitting in the waiting room of my gynecologist’s office, and Chris is just staring around the room at the posters on the wall, and occasionally glancing at the couple of pregnant women that are in the waiting room with us.

“Why did you need to see her?” he asks softly.

“I’m overdue for my annual exam, and since all I do lately is go to the doctor, I figured I should probably just get it out of the way.” It’s a half truth. Well, ⅓ truth. If the doctor was right about my hcG levels when I was in the hospital, I’m about six weeks pregnant, and it’s probably time to get official confirmation in black and white. And if I am, Chris deserves to be there to hear it. But first, he needs to get something done himself.

The nurse comes by and hands us both a clipboard with paperwork on it, and Chris’ eyebrows raise. “Why do I get paperwork?”

The nurse clears her throat nervously and taps a section on the paperwork. STD test, with the works. She walks away to let us fill out the papers, and his eyes shoot to mine.

“I used a condom. I told you that. I'm not an idiot.” he says softly.

“I don’t care. I need to see it for myself, for my own peace of mind.”

He’s called back first, and with a nervous swallow and a look back at me, he follows the nurse. I’m called back shortly after, and after blood work, urine test, and the internal exam, Chris is allowed back into the exam room to wait with me while the results come back.

“You want to grab something to eat after this? You didn’t have much for breakfast earlier.” he asks.

“Uh, yeah, I-” I’m interrupted by a knock on the door followed by Dr. Hartman coming back in. By the look on her face, I just know.

“Congratulations, you guys are pregnant.”

Chris is lucky that there’s a chair right behind him, or he would have been in a world of pain when he landed. When I see him basically collapse into the chair, I get worried.

“Mr. Evans, are you okay?” Dr. Hartman asks, reaching for his wrist to check his pulse. His face is a look of pure shock, like he can’t begin to comprehend what he just heard.

“Chris?” I ask, my own emotions threatening to spill out despite knowing this was coming. I instantly feel bad for not giving him a heads up that this was a very real chance. His eyes find mine and we just stare at each other.

“I’m okay. I just- it’s- are you sure?” he asks, his voice unsteady. The doctor steps away, seemingly convinced that a movie star isn’t going to drop dead of shock in one of her exam rooms. “The tests are extremely accurate, but I’m going to go ahead and do a transvaginal ultrasound so we can take a look. If you’re far enough along, we should be able to hear the heartbeat.”

Since I’m still in the gown and haven’t gotten dressed yet, I lay back on the table and assume the position again as she pulls the ultrasound machine towards her. Chris gets up on unsteady legs and stands next to me, still looking shell shocked.

“Okay, this is going to be a little uncomfortable. Just take a nice deep breath.” she warns. I do as she says, but I still make a face when the probe is inserted. Chris is torn between watching my face and wanting to see what’s happening on the screen. Me, I’m too afraid to look anywhere but his face. For as much trepidation as I’m feeling over this pregnancy, I’m overcome with the sudden fear that she’s going to find the baby and there’s not going to be a heartbeat, just like last time, and I honestly don’t know if I can go through that twice.

“There it is.” I hear from next to me. I watch as his eyes move from mine to the screen, seeing the tiny blob in the middle of my uterus with the little flicker in the middle. A heartbeat. I still can’t bring myself to look though. Dr. Hartman, who was the one who told me that I had miscarried and performed my D&C, senses my fear, and quietly hits a button on the machine. The sound is almost overwhelming as it fills the room. I have a crazy thought that it almost sounds like clothes in the washer as it’s agitating. Whoosh, whoosh, whoosh. It's loud and fast and sounds strong. My eyes snap to the screen, and I immediately bring my hand to my mouth and burst into tears.

“From the size, it looks like you’re about six or seven weeks. Which is going to put the due date at about….” she stops to put some numbers into the computer. September 23rd, give or take.”

After printing off some pictures and leaving the room to let me get cleaned up and get dressed, we leave the office feeling a million different emotions. We’re both quiet on the drive home, both lost in thought. How many times have we wished for this? How many negative pregnancy tests have we seen and tossed angrily into the trash, tears threatening to spill. How many times did we say “It’s okay. It’ll happen. I know it.” only for it to happen during the worst period in our marriage?

-------------------------------

When we get home, I slowly waddle into the house, still enjoying the feeling of being able to (somewhat) walk instead of being chained to that damn wheelchair. I make my way to the back door to let Dodger out, passing Lisa, who’s watching both Chris and I with a curious, careful gaze.

I feel him behind me as I turn on the tap, filling a glass with water and downing it almost all in one gulp.

“How are you feeling?” he asks softly. He can see my hand trembling slightly as I hold the glass, and he knows he has to tread lightly.

“In general? Or about the fact that we found out I’m pregnant in the middle of our personal shit storm?”

“Both.” I drop my head. Truth be told, I’m exhausted. My arm is killing me, the nerve pain making burning pins and needles radiate over my whole arm. My leg is aching from being on it for an extended amount of time.

I’ve been trying to roll it over and around in my head for weeks. What to do if I really did have the shittiest luck in the world, and I did end up actually pregnant in this situation. I keep coming back to the bad joke that my brother made the night I found out about Chris about me not having to deal with all of this while I was pregnant.

“I don’t know if I can do this.” My voice is soft, but he hears it like I’m screaming it. “I don’t know if I can have this baby. I don’t know if my body can handle it, and I don’t know if I can handle it emotionally.”

The words punch through him like a hit from a prize fighter. He knows exactly when it happened; the night that you had come over to get a dress from your closet and we had ended up defling quite a few surfaces in the house. There’s a good chance that our baby was conceived on the dining room table.

“Are you talking about-” he can’t even bring himself to say the words. He KNOWS this the worst timing for this to happen. He KNOWS that no matter what, it’s your choice. But the thought of not having this baby with you almost brings him to his knees.

My breath hitches. “Chris, look at us. Take a good look at me, at my body. I’m broken. I’m still recovering. I’d have to be monitored more closely to make sure that everything is okay. Because we don’t know if it will be.” The thought of finally getting everything I wanted with my husband and then not having it makes my chest hurt.

“I’ve wanted kids with you since the moment you told me you loved me for the first time, and that I was it for you. I knew that you were going to be the father of my kids one day. But now, with everything, I don’t know if that’s the case anymore.”

The tears are burning my eyes, and I can feel the sobs starting to build in my throat, and I know if I don’t get out of this room right now, I’m going to lose it. I’m pretty sure that Lisa heard at least part of our conversation, and I can’t talk about it anymore without losing my mind. I set my glass in the sink and silently make my way upstairs, thinking that two of the worst conversations I’ve had in my life have come within months of each other and have both taken place in the kitchen that I loved. Now I can barely stand to be in it.

#blue christmas #chris evans fanfiction #chris evans #chris evans x wife #chris evans x kelly evans #pregnancy #angst #cheating #jenn writes

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