#and i know patty is doing better in vegas but i miss him from the lineup of the flyers | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

laurenairay · 3 years

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Unexpected - K. Hayes

Summary: After being just friends with Kevin for over four years, can you ever be anything more?

Word Count: 10.2k

Warnings: a little angst, a lot of fluff, a smidgen of smut, friends to lovers because that’s my jam

A/N: so this originally started as a blurb which got mildly out of hand and turned into this fic. I have repeated the scene from the blurb to keep the flow the same. I have no regrets.

This is particularly inspired from Talk About by Seaforth (thanks @antoineroussel!) and Just Friends by Virginia to Vegas (thanks @broadstbroskis!)

@danglesnipecelly @princessphilly @chicagoblackhawkslover96 @himbos-on-ice @whoeverineedtobe @flybabyfly @ipuckwithhockey @antoineroussel @babytkachuks @broadstbroskis @texanstarslove @tippedbykreider @thebookofmags @horsesandhockeyplayers @denis-scorianov @lulucanwrite @rangersftflyers @notaccurateornice @pandorasbox2020 @mattytkachuk19 @whatishockey @no-pucks-given @fanfics-for-the-hockey-fan @troubatrain @joelsfarabee @nuenyyx @miracleonice87

A party was never just a simple party when Kevin Hayes was involved. Music was pounding, beer was flowing, shots were poured, and weed was an easy haze on the back porch. You had no idea what the occasion was for one of your oldest friends to be throwing this shindig, but you weren’t complaining. Hanging out with him and relaxing after a long hard day was infinitely better than sitting at home and eating cold pizza. Again.

People always teased you about being so close with Kevin, always hinting that there must be something more between you, but you just laughed it off, knowing that he would never be interested. How could he? He had the perfect hockey WAGs lining up in queues to flirt with him – and you were just his friend. You’d known each other since you both lived in Tribeca years ago, and there had never been anything to even hint at anything more than friends. He’d never flirted with you outside of his natural charm. He’d never made a move on you in the slightest. He’d never shown the smallest bit of interest in anything other than platonic – so you knew how he felt. And to be honest, his friendship was amazing and it was something you never wanted to lose, so why would you put yourself out there when you already knew what the answer would be?

No, being friends with Kevin Hayes was exactly where you were meant to be.

You’d spent a few hours with a rotating cast of Flyers and their better halves, drinking and sharing stories about your mutual friend, but it had been a while since you’d seen him. At least a couple of non-Kevin hours. So what if you got a little needy when you were drinking? How could you not want a hug from your beautiful friend? No, bad drunk brain. Crossing that line was never worth it.

You still wanted that hug though.

So bidding the other drunk partygoers adieu, you wandered about the house in search of Kevin, coming up empty in every room…until you spotted smoke outside the kitchen window. Hah, of course. You knew how much he loved to wind down with a blunt or two. His easygoing nature was one of the things you loved most about him.

Putting down your empty drink, you walked outside, spotting Kevin and Nolan lounging on the outside sofas, Nolan with a blunt in his hand.

“Hey! You’re here!” Kevin grinned.

You shook your head fondly, wafting the pungent smoke out of your face.

“I’ve been here for hours, Kev. You’ve already seen me,” you said, smiling.

Kevin pouted, and Nolan just snickered, making you laugh.

“Weed always makes you forgetful,” you mused, sitting down on the seating next to him.

“Nuh-uh I don’t forget everything,” Kevin shrugged, turning to face you properly, “Not the important things. Like the fact that I love you, you know that right?”

Your jaw dropped slightly as his words hit you. What the everloving fuck? Why would he joke like that?

“Goddamn Kev, how high are you?” you asked, frowning.

Without waiting for him to answer, you looked over at Nolan, who just shrugged.

“I don’t know, he’s pretty baked. But I’m going to let you deal with all of that,” Nolan grimaced, waving a hand in Kevin’s general direction.

You rolled your eyes as he quickly passed Kevin the blunt and walked back inside. Yeah, thanks for the help.

“Why did Patty leave?” Kevin asked, frowning.

“Because he’s allergic to emotions? I don’t know. Maybe he just knows that you’re talking shit and he doesn’t want to deal with it,” you muttered.

“I’m not talking shit,” Kevin shot back, “I love you,”

“No you don’t,” you said, rolling your eyes again.

Seriously? Where had this come from? This wasn’t fair, he couldn’t say that when you knew it wasn’t true. Where had he gotten this lot of weed from? Clearly it didn’t agree with him.

“Yes I do! I know my own feelings,” Kevin insisted.

“Right, yeah, sure you do,” you sighed.

You were neither drunk enough nor high enough for this conversation. This was…not how you expected this evening to go. And just like that, your good mood was ruined.

“You don’t believe me, do you?” Kevin asked softly.

“Not even in the slightest, Kev,” you said, smiling sadly.

Of course you didn’t. Why, after all this time, would he be saying the words you most wanted to hear from him? There was no logic behind it – there was no way it could be true. He’d never ever shown any hint of this to be true.

“I’ll prove it to you,” he said firmly.

And then he placed his hand on your thigh, making you inhale sharply, the warmth of his large hand sending tingles through your body. No.

“This is not the time or place, Kevin,” you said shortly, “You are stoned out of your fucking mind,”

“You said my full name. You never say my full name,” he said sadly.

Of course that’s what he picked up out of that. Clearly he wasn’t going to get any easier to talk to…and while normally that made for some pretty fun conversation, tonight it wasn’t going to happen. And you couldn’t sit around and listen to more of this.

“I’m just going to go,” you sighed, nudging his hand off your thigh and standing upright.

“What? No!” Kevin said, eyes wide and sad.

“I can’t,” you said, forcing a smile, “I can’t stay and hear this, when I know you don’t mean it when you’re sober,”

“But…”

“I’ll send Nolan back out, okay? I’ll…talk to you later, Kev,” you said firmly, interrupting him.

Without waiting for another answer, you quickly walked back into the house, heartbeat racing in your ears and a lump in your throat. At least you didn’t have to go far to look for Nolan – he was standing just inside in the kitchen.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” he frowned.

You just shook your head, smiling thinly, not wanting to go into it. “I’m going to go,”

“But he…”

“Kev will be fine – you don’t mind going back out there with him, right?” you said, interrupting.

Nolan pressed his lips together but shook his head. “No, I don’t mind,”

“Good. Good. Um, I’m sure I’ll see you around?” you offered.

Would you? Who knows. How long would you even need before you could see Kevin again without your heart aching?

“Yeah, I’m sure,” Nolan nodded.

You missed the determined look in the younger man’s eyes as you walked away, too intent on locating your jacket without giving in to the tears that were threatening to fall. Sleep, sobering up and some distance – that would help, right?

01:21

From: Kevin

Why did you leave?

Please come back?

01:57

From: Kevin

I meant it.

I swear I meant it.

Please call me.

03:00

Missed call – Kevin

10:17

From: Kevin

Fuck I fell asleep.

Are you ignoring me?

Please call me when you get this.

10:35

From: Kevin

I get it if you don’t love me back.

But please don’t ignore me, I can’t take that.

Please call me?

We need to talk. Please.

10:55

From: Kevin

Please?

11:00

To: Kevin

Kev, I can’t do this.

It’s too much.

Please just give me time and space.

11:02

From: Nolan

I’ve taken Kev’s phone off him.

His sad face is too much.

I know you asked for space and I’ll make sure he gives it to you.

But please, just think over what he said?

You know he doesn’t say shit he doesn’t mean, not when it’s important.

11:17

To: Nolan

Yeah, okay. I’ll think it over.

Mornings were generally your worst time of day. But this morning in particular was a terrible one. The slight bleurgh of lingering sleep made you feel groggy enough, but nothing that a quick shower and a slice of buttered toast couldn’t fix. No, this morning was terrible because your heart was still aching from three days ago. You still had no idea what Kevin was playing at, acting like that around you, but it hurt and you knew you weren’t going to be able to forget it any time soon. Kevin’s increasingly desperate text messages and the single message from Nolan hung over you like a bad shadow, but you knew were right about not just giving in straight away – you were still emotional enough now as it was, and you knew it wouldn’t have been a good idea to see Kevin immediately. No, space was exactly what you needed, even if it hurt.

Your second cup of coffee woke you up enough at least to not leave you in a pit of despair. Like Nolan had asked, you’d thought about Kevin’s words over and over again. His declaration of love, out of nowhere. His confusion and sadness and fucking desperation. You know he doesn’t say shit he doesn’t mean, not when it’s important. It still didn’t give you the answer, any answer. Because in your heart, there was still that little whisper of doubt, telling you it wasn’t true, not really. And unless you were 100% sure, there was no way you could take that chance, not with Kevin. His friendship was too important in your life to risk not having it at all, so if it meant needing time to get over him and drag yourself out of this swirling despair then you would take it.

Despair was for people who didn’t have a life to get on with. You had lived long enough without Kevin in your life before you’d met him, and you could damn well succeed in living without his presence for a couple of weeks or so. At least until you’d built up those walls again.

It had been three days and the struggle was real.

Around 9am, you were jolted out of your thoughts by a series of knocks on your front door. With a frown, you walked over to the entrance hallway, and peeked through the peep-hole, only to see Kevin. What the fuck? Why was he here?

He had a sad but determined look on this face, you could see that much – fuck, was he going to say he didn’t mean anything he said that night? That now he’d thought about it properly, it wasn’t real? It was bad enough hearing his emotions from him when high as a kite, but you couldn’t bear for him to admit it was fake when he was sober. But maybe it was what you deserved, seeing as you’d asked for time and space. Fuck. No, you’d definitely done the right thing for you…but had you done the right thing for Kevin?

What you did know for sure was that you couldn’t leave him standing outside, when he knew full well that you had no real plans today. He knew your schedule too well for that. So with a deep breath, you put on a smile and opened the door. There he stood, eyes warm albeit sleepy, that hair so perfectly tousled. Why did he have to hit every single tickbox on your list? How was that fair?

“Look who’s up before midday on an off-day,” you teased, “What are you doing here?”

Kevin smiled at your teasing, but it was as fake as you knew your smile was. Fuck. “I was in the neighbourhood and figured I’d see what you were up to. Mind if I come in?”

Ouch. He definitely wasn’t in the neighbourhood, he was here for one reason only. To talk. Fuck.

But you nodded, letting him past you into your apartment anyway. He’d given you three days’ space, like you’d asked, it was only fair that you let him say his piece now right?

“Coffee?” you asked, shutting the door behind him.

“Yes please,” Kevin groaned, nodding.

Your smile slipped a little as you headed to the kitchen, you heart already aching with the preparation of it being broken completely, but you managed to keep yourself together as you reached for the coffee pot, pouring him a large mug of the caffeinated lifeblood in silence.

“Here you go,” you said as cheerfully as you could manage.

“Thanks,” he said, smiling.

He sat down at the kitchen island, looking up at you with those beautiful big eyes, until you sat down opposite him.

“I still mean it, y’know,” he said bluntly.

You frowned, not understanding. “Mean what?”

“Mean what I said that night. That I love you,”

Oh God. Fuck. Your breath hitched in your throat, your lips parting in surprise. What…what was he doing?

“Kev, please don’t…”

“No, I’m going to,” Kevin interrupted, uncharacteristically solemn, “Because you seem to have some pretty incorrect ideas in your head and I need to set them straight,”

You swallowed heavily, biting your bottom lip. How were you even supposed to respond to that? Kevin saw the anxious look on your face clear as day, his own seriousness softening to a sad smile.

“Patty said you looked pretty upset when you left that night,” he said softly.

You shook your head, desperate for a sliver of control. “I wasn’t upset, I-”

“Even if he hadn’t spent the last three days ripping into me, I know you were upset. You’ve never just left like that,” Kevin said firmly.

Normally, you hated being interrupted. But in this case, you really had nothing else you could say. Nothing that you could say, not when he knew you so well.

“No, I haven’t,” you sighed, leaning back in your chair.

“I’m sorry that me confessing how I felt made you leave but I wasn’t messing around! I was trying gather the high courage to tell you, after all this time!” Kevin said desperately.

Holy shit. Holy fucking shit.

He was serious, wasn’t he? Of course he had to bulldoze right through, in typical Kevin Hayes style.

But Kevin took your silence the wrong way.

“How could you not have known?” he frowned.

“How could I possibly have known, Kev? I’ve seen you flirting with women before – and you’re never like that around me. How could I have known that you wanted anything more than friendship when you’ve never acted like it?” you retorted.

Kevin’s cheeks flushed, and he ducked his head briefly, before he looked back up at you. Fuck, he looked a little sad? Like...like he was about to genuinely open up his heart. Fuck.

“I always thought you weren’t interested in me. Why would you be interested in dumb stoner Kevin? I figured if I could only ever have you as a friend then I would latch onto that, because having you in my life in any way is so much better than not having you in my life at all,” he said sadly.

You had never heard him this eloquent before. To be honest, it made your heart ache all over again. But he was never like this…why now?

“Are you still high?” you asked, frowning.

Kevin laughed dryly, shaking his head. “Why do I have to be high to tell you how I feel?”

“Because that’s literally the only time you’ve ever said it before?” you said, raising an eyebrow.

Kevin groaned softly, rubbing a hand over the back of his neck.

“You know meaningful stuff doesn’t come all that easily to me,” he huffed.

“I also know you’re not just Kevin-the-hockey-playing-himbo-from-Boston,” you pointed out, smiling slightly.

Kevin laughed softly. “You always have figured me out pretty well,”

“I’m just not a mind reader,” you mused.

He laughed again, nodding his head. “I guess I just…I saw you and I had to say it. I’ve liked you for years, sweetheart, ever since we lived in Tribeca. And I thought, maybe, just maybe, you getting your job transferred to Philly meant that it was finally our time. But it never happened. Maybe it was the weed. Maybe it was the weed and how beautiful you looked combined that actually took down those barriers which have kept me from blurting out my feelings in the past. But I swear to you, I meant every word,”

Sweetheart. Wow. Never had that word affected you more. You swallowed heavily, looking down at your hands. It was true that you’d always been able to read him well – and he was being so sincere right now that it had your stomach tied in knots. He really meant it, didn’t he? He really meant…that he loves you. That he’s loved you for years. Fuck.

It was everything you’d hoped to hear, and you’d spent the last three days trying to convince yourself he didn’t mean it. But he really did mean it, didn’t he?

“Say it again,” you murmured.

The grin that spread across Kevin’s lips sent a shiver up your spine.

“I love you,” he said clearly, firmly, looking directly into your eyes.

Your breath hitched in your throat, butterflies exploding in your stomach. Fuck that was so good to hear. Holy fucking shit.

“Kevin…” you whispered helplessly.

“I gotta know…because I’m holding onto a scrap of hope that you feel the same…do you…”

He trailed off, his voice a little desperate, a little lost, and you found yourself nodding like an idiot, tears springing to your eyes. If he could be brave, then so could you.

“Yes, Kev, I do. I love you so much,” you admitted.

Kevin laughed in triumph, a little incredulous, and he quickly stood up from the island, taking one large step towards you, and tugging you to stand up on your feet too.

“Fuck, fuck, can I kiss you?” he asked, happiness sparkling in his eyes.

You found yourself laughing, but nodded and clutched at his sweater, holding on in case your weak knees gave out on you. Kevin grinned, resting his forehead against yours briefly, before he closed the distance between you with a firm kiss. You couldn’t help but melt into his arms, kissing him back just as eagerly, throwing your arms around his neck a little desperately as his tongue slid against yours. His hands went to your hips and he easily picked you up to place you on the kitchen counter, and you gasped into his mouth at how effortless the motion was, moaning a little as he just stepped right in between your legs. It felt like second nature to hook your legs around his waist, pulling your bodies even closer together, earning a soft moan from the man that sent a pulse of heat right between your thighs. Fuck.

“Kev, wait, we shouldn’t…” you gasped, tilting your head back to break the kiss.

Because as much as you wanted to hop right into bed with him, you needed to let him know that this wasn’t all this was for you. It couldn’t be.

“Fuck, you gotta know this is more than sex for me, right?” Kevin groaned, eyes a little wild as he looked down at you.

How did he always know what to say?

“Again, I’m not a mind reader,” you laughed.

Kevin laughed as well, ducking his head to press gentle kisses into the soft skin of your neck.

“I want to take you out on so many dates. I want to tell my mom about you properly rather than just mention you in passing. I want to ignore Patty crowing in the locker room that he gave me the kick up the ass that I needed. I want to tell Brady and Jimmy that I finally took a chance. I want to show you off to the world as my girlfriend,” Kevin murmured between kisses, finishing with a nip to your earlobe.

Fuck. That was all that you wanted, and he was offering it up on a silver platter.

“I want that too,” you gasped, tilting your head more to the side.

You felt Kevin smile against your skin, nipping at you again before he lifted his head to look at you properly.

“Now can I kiss you again?” Kevin asked hopefully.

You laughed but nodded, threading your fingers through his messy curls. “You can kiss me any time you want,”

Kevin grinned and did just that.

Pulling into the practice arena, Kevin realised he still had a stupid smile on his face. He’d spent all morning at your apartment, mostly making out on the sofa with a little talking dotted throughout, and he’d only been able to tear himself away because Nolan had texted to remind him about the mandatory afternoon practice today. Obviously he would much rather have stayed with you, especially now that he knew what it was like to kiss you, how your lips felt against his, how easy it was to hold you in his arms, but if he skipped practice there would be hell to pay.

That, and he now knew how easily he could get carried away, how easily he could get lost in you. He hadn’t lied when he said that this was more than sex for him. Loving you was everything – overwhelming, all-consuming and wonderful – and there was no way he was going to let sex ruin that. As much as he already knew it would be incredible. He’d waited four years to be in your bed more than platonically, he could wait a little longer. Especially now that he knew you loved him too.

Fuck, you were finally his. He could finally call you his girlfriend. Fuck.

Kevin was so lost in his thoughts as he parked his car, that he didn’t notice a familiar figure walking up to him, and flinched as they knocked on the window. Nolan. Fuck.

“Way to give me a heart attack, baby cat,” Kevin groaned as he got out of the car.

“You made me catch a lift with Teeks last minute – now we’re even,” Nolan smirked.

Kevin just laughed, rolling his eyes as he pulled his bag out of his car and locked it. When he turned back to look at his friend, he saw that Nolan looked incredibly smug, almost unbearably so, and steeled himself for an interrogation. He hadn’t exactly been forthcoming in his text earlier to say that Nolan would have to find his own way to practice. Oops.

“Please tell me you came from your New York girl’s place,”

Hah, your New York girl. When you’d first moved job to Philadelphia, Kevin had referred to you as ‘a girl friend from New York’, to try to play it cool, to try to hide how excited he was that you were finally going to be reunited…and the name had stuck. Pretty much everyone on the team, including some who’d been traded away, referred to you as ‘your New York girl’, mainly because of how red Kevin had blushed when Claude had called you that when you’d first met the team.

The team liked teasing their usually-unflappable teammate.

You liked that Kevin talked about you in the first place.

Kevin just liked that people had always called you his.

“Yeah, I did,” Kevin shrugged, trying to play it cool.

But Nolan just rolled his eyes, not having any of it.

“You two talked right? Like, actually talked,” Nolan asked firmly.

That and other things. But Nolan didn’t need to know that. Kevin just smirked, nodding, and laughed as Nolan whooped.

“I swear to god I’m not getting those three days back, you owe me so bad. And I’m claiming victory for this matchmaking,” Nolan grinned.

“Meddling more like it,” Kevin mused, rolling his eyes, “You got the result you wanted though,”

“I did?”

“You did,”

“Fucking finally,” Nolan groaned.

“Finally what?”

Kevin turned his head to see Claude walking up behind them and winced. If Nolan kept his mouth shut then maybe Kevin had a chance of not being ridiculed for the entirety of practice…

“Hayesy ditched me to finally talk about his feelings,” Nolan smirked.

Oof.

“With your New York girl? Fucking finally,” Claude grinned.

One day that nickname would fade. One day.

“Yeah, yeah, laugh it up. Better late than never,” Kevin mused.

“Only took you a few years,” Nolan snorted.

Four long miserable years. But who was counting.

“Well I’m glad you finally took a chance. Fuck knows it’s been painful enough watching the two of you dance around each other,” Claude teased, before his face suddenly went serious, “She returned your feelings, right? Like, fuck-”

“She did,” Kevin said, interrupting, “She loves me too,”

Saying it out loud like that made him grin, earning laughter from his two teammates.

“Thank fuck for that,” Claude huffed, teasing with a grin of his own.

Thank fuck indeed.

From: Kevin

Dinner at mine tonight?

I’ve got that wine you like…

To: Kevin

You had me at wine.

What time do you want me?

From: Kevin

I always want you.

I’ll have food ready for 7pm.

But come over whenever!

To: Kevin

You ridiculous flirt.

Can’t wait to see you.

Kevin’s messages kept a smile on your face for the rest of your work day, and you didn’t bother going back to your apartment after work – heading straight to his place was all you could think about, so that’s all that you did. And the smile that he greeted you with when he opened the door – bright, genuine, happy – told you that you’d made the right decision.

“Well aren’t you a sight for sore eyes,” Kevin murmured, tugging you against his body.

You couldn’t help but laugh, leaning into his hold as he shut the door behind you. “Flattery will get you everywhere,” you grinned.

Kevin grinned back. “Good to know,”

You rolled your eyes fondly, leaning up on your tiptoes to press your lips to his in a soft kiss, smiling at the happy noise he made as you embraced sweetly, your arms sliding up his chest and around his neck. Fuck, even just knowing that you could do this now, kiss him whenever you wanted, sent a shiver up your spine, let alone how good it felt to brush your tongue against his. It was like the floodgates had opened – now that you could kiss him, touch him, hold him, you never wanted to stop. You took every opportunity, and Kevin was exactly the same – maybe even more so, with the way his hands always seemed to stray to your ass.

The kisses eventually slowed to a few gentle pecks, Kevin looking a little stunned even as he tucked a stray piece of hair behind your ear.

“Hi,” you murmured.

“Hi,” he said back, a little helplessly.

Both of you laughed, Kevin resting his forehead against yours briefly before he stepped backwards a little, taking both of your hands with his.

“I gotta finish up some dinner prep, but I can pour you a glass of wine while you wait?” he suggested.

Sweet, thoughtful man.

“That sounds perfect to me,” you nodded, squeezing his hands in agreement.

Dinner was perfect. Wonderful. Incredible. It was only a simple pasta dish, but full of vegetables and spices and flavour, and the fact that Kevin had clearly poured time and effort into making this for the two of you made it even more special. Sitting across from him at the dinner table, each talking about your days, Kevin making your sides ache with laughter…it was all you could ever have dreamed of.

Was it all too good to be true?

That niggling thought followed you to the sofa after you’d finished eating, Kevin joining you with two fresh glasses of wine. He spotted your creased forehead and frown immediately, like you feared knew he would.

“What’s that face for?” Kevin mused, raising an eyebrow.

Sometimes it was a blessing how easily he could read you. But you weren’t sure if now was one of those times. As his smile started to slip, you took a deep breath, steeling yourself. There was no point in hiding your thoughts from him. Honesty and communication were a good thing, right?

“I guess I’m just nervous, that’s all,” you admitted.

Kevin frowned to match you, his eyes immediately going serious. “Nervous? Why?”

“Things are just different now. You know that,”

Kevin’s frown immediately shifted to a smile, making your heart beat a little faster. His faith in you was mindblowing. “It’s just you and me, how it’s always been. How it always should be. Nothing’s different about that,”

But still you shook your head, smiling fondly. “I know you as Kevin-the-friend. I don’t know you as Kevin-the-boyfriend. It’s whole new territory…and I have a horrible thought in my mind saying that it’s all too good to be true,”

Kevin’s face fell again at your words, and he quickly put his wine glass on the coffee table, shaking his head as he reached out to take one of your hands in his. Your breath hitched in your throat at the emotion in his eyes, like it genuinely hurt him to hear the words that came out of your mouth, and you put your own glass down on the floor with a wince.

“Are you…having second thoughts? About…us?” he said quietly, like the words left a bitter taste in his mouth.

You quickly shook your head – you knew that wasn’t it. Not even close. But still…

“What is it then?” Kevin asked, confused.

Here goes nothing. “Sometimes it doesn’t feel real, us being together. Like I’m going to wake up and you’re going to want to only be just friends. It scares me,”

“Shit,” Kevin groaned, eyes closing briefly.

When his eyes reopened his eyes to look at you once more, the fire in his expression startled you…but also made your mouth go dry. That intensity was a good look on him, one you hadn’t seen directed your way before. Fuck.

“Sweetheart, I can’t predict the future. Hell, I can barely figure out what to make for breakfast, let alone where our relationship is going to go. But I do know one thing for certain,” he said firmly.

You swallowed heavily, letting out a shaky breath. “And what’s that?”

“That I want us to have a future. That I am all in. I’m putting my whole heart into this baby, and I just wish I knew what to do so you would believe me,”

Fuck, you did believe him. You absolutely did believe him. How could you not, when you could feel his heart so strongly?

“Kev, I…” you trailed off, a little helpless, not sure where to start.

“What can I do?” he asked, eyes a little desperate.

“I don’t know! I wish I knew. I want this to work so badly,” you murmured.

“All we can do is put the hard work in, right?” he said firmly, eyes bright and shining, “Like, if we both try with our whole hearts, then it’s got to be worth it, right? We’ve been friends for years – that isn’t going to change. We have that foundation already. Now we’re just taking that next step, learning more about each other, rather than starting something scary from scratch,”

Your eyes filled with tears at his heartfelt words, and you found yourself nodding before you could stop yourself.

“It’s still scary…but it could be scarier,” you agreed, biting your bottom lip.

Kevin nodded, smiling encouragingly, to which you let out a shaky breath.

“And no matter what, we’re in this together, yeah? We’ve got each other, more so than ever before,” he said softly.

Your eyes dropped to where his thumb ran back and forth over your hand, a small smile spreading across your lips. “I like the sound of that,”

Kevin’s shoulders seemed to relax a little, like he was letting out tension, sending a guilty pang through your body. Fuck, there you go, making him feel bad again.

“I’m sorry,” you mumbled, shrinking back a little.

“Hey, no, no apologies. I’m glad you told me,” he replied, shaking his head, “I’d rather we talked about stuff like this than let it build up to something ugly, y’know?”

He had a good point – you couldn’t imagine having a nasty all-out fight with Kevin, and you didn’t want to. He was one of your oldest friends for a reason, and you didn’t want to lose that through a stupid fight, no way.

“Same goes for you too, yeah? You can…should talk to me about anything that worries you,” you said softly.

Kevin smiled, nodding. “Alright, it’s a deal,”

He reached out to pick up his wine glass from the table, holding it towards you in a ‘cheers’ motion, making you laugh. But you picked up your glass from the floor anyway, and clinked it with his, both of you taking a long drink. Kevin was uncharacteristically quiet for a moment, before he quirked a smile your way.

“Let me take you out, show you what Kevin-the-boyfriend is like,” he suggested, “Let me show you that this new thing between us is going to be something amazing,”

How could you say no to that?

“I’d like that,” you grinned, relaxing into the sofa a bit more, “I already know I love Kevin-the-friend…so I think I need to meet Kevin-the-boyfriend properly,”

And as stupid as it felt saying those words out loud, you knew you were right – you needed to see this next stage in your relationship clearly, to banish away those niggling doubts. It was still Kevin, right? Just…more.

Kevin stretched his leg out onto the sofa, nudging your hip with his foot with a big smile on his face, nudging nudging nudging until you gripped his ankle tightly with your free hand, raising an eyebrow. All you got in return was his eyebrows wiggling at you, a stupid grin on his face.

“This is going to be great, you’ll see,” Kevin said cheerfully.

You were counting on it.

A first date was always something to be nervous about, right? Shaky hands, pounding heart, butterflies in the stomach, sweaty palms…it was all natural, right? Because you were experiencing all of these things while you got ready for your date with Kevin.

But was it truly nerves? You weren’t nervous as in apprehensive. No, not at all. Any time you spent with Kevin was always full of warmth and laughter, even when you were just friends, and you knew that tonight would be so different. No, it was nervous as in excited. Nervous butterflies? Shaky giddiness? Whatever it was, it was more than a little overwhelming, but it only took one glance at the last text Kevin sent you to keep a smile on your face.

From: Kevin

I can’t wait to see you, beautiful 💖

Simple, but effective. He always knew what to do and say, even when he didn’t know he was doing it. So instead of getting cold feet or freaking out, all you did was put on your favourite playlist and bop around while you got yourself ready. You’d already gotten your usual leg and bikini wax this morning, having planned to wear a slinky black dress with bare legs, and as soon as you shimmied into the dress you knew it was the right choice. Figure hugging without being clingy, sexy as well as classy – a little black dress is a classic for a reason. After putting on a little makeup and a pair of your favourite heels, you were ready.

Kevin had insisted on picking you up so he could drive the two of you to the restaurant, rather than meeting there, and he arrived to yours right on time. But as you opened the front door of your apartment to greet him, his face was a little stunned, and he was uncharacteristically silent. Huh.

“Everything okay, Kev?” you asked hesitantly.

He quickly nodded, the stunned look on his face slipping into a wide smile.

“You just look so beautiful. Caught me off guard,” he shrugged.

You felt your cheeks heat up with warmth, and you batted your hand at his chest, making him laugh. Ridiculous man.

“Well, you scrub up pretty well yourself,” you teased.

A crisp white button-up shirt, a nice fitted pair of jeans and tailored jacket? Such a good look on him. Kevin just grinned at your words, ducking his head to kiss you softly, making your breath hitch in your throat. Yeah, this was going to be a good night.

“Ready to go?” he asked, as he broke the embrace.

“Yeah, let me just grab a jacket,”

The drive to the restaurant was short and smooth – a Spanish tapas place, on recommendation from Claude – and you were shown to your table immediately, Kevin pulling out your chair for you with a bright smile on his face.

“Welcome! Here are your menus – would you like to see the drinks menu too, or do you know what you would like?”

You looked from the waiter to Kevin with a shrug, to see him looking at you with a hopeful smile. Huh. He already planned this out, didn’t he? So you just nodded at him and smiled back.

“Can we have a glass of Rosado each?” Kevin asked, smiling effortlessly.

“Of course, I will be back momentarily,”

As the waiter walked away, you raised an eyebrow at Kevin, who just shrugged a little bashfully.

“I never have any clue which wine goes with what. So I asked Claude when he recommended this place – a few of the guys around us chimed in with their thoughts too, and apparently Rosado goes with tomato-y garlic-y things. I figured that’s the majority of what we’d be eating, so I hope that’s okay” Kevin explained.

The fact that he had put so much thought into tonight, asking his friends and really researching, made your heart clench, and it was all you could do to nod. He really was so sweet – no-one had ever put in this much effort for you before.

A silence fell over you for a moment, not awkward, but still not fully comfortable, until you looked at Kevin and the both of you huffed out a laugh.

“This is weird, right?” you giggled.

“Nah, not if we don’t let it be,” he shrugged, smiling.

His ease and nonchalance was something to be jealous of, that much was true.

“So confident, Mr Hayes,” you mused, raising an eyebrow.

“Easy to be confident when I’ve got the most beautiful person in the room sitting opposite me,” he replied smoothly.

Oh so smooth.

“Kev…” you groaned, hiding your face with a hand.

“Come on, I’ve been wanting to say these things for years! Indulge me,” he teased.

Years. The very thought of it sent a shiver down your spine.

“You think I haven’t had my moments of weakness? Where I’ve thought about us over the years?” you asked simply, raising an eyebrow as you lowered your hand back into your lap.

Kevin inhaled sharply, making you smile. Good.

“I like that you have. Thought about us, I mean. I just can’t believe how stupid we’ve been. We’ve wasted so much time,” Kevin sighed.

You reached across the table, resting your hand on top of his with a smile. “We’re here now, right? That’s all that matters,”

“Yeah exactly,” he nodded.

Then he bit his bottom lip, as if he was hesitating on something, making you smile a little more.

“What is it, Kev?” you asked softly.

He stayed silent for another beat or two, before he looked at you intensely.

“I see my future with you, sweetheart,” he blurted. Oh wow. “And yeah, maybe that’s too soon to say, but this isn’t some brand new fresh thing – this has been building for years, and now that we’re finally together, it just feels so right, y’know?”

Your heart clenched at his sweet words, and you couldn’t stop the smile that spread across your lips. Fuck. Who knew a hockey player could be so open and in touch with their feelings? Well, it was Kevin after all. Might as well speak your own thoughts too.

“It does feel so right. I’ve never felt anything for anyone like I feel for you,” you admitted.

Kevin’s answering smile was a little stunned and a little helpless. “Fuck, same. Same for me,”

You ignored the butterflies filling your stomach, looking down at the menu in front of you to stop your smile going stupid. What was it about this man that made you feel so different? His honesty? His smile? His laugh? Fuck, all of that and more. All you did know was that you didn’t want it to stop.

The date continued on to become the best date you had ever been on. Not that you were surprised – it was Kevin after all, and you already knew there wasn’t anything he wouldn’t do if it would make you smile. And you were quickly learning how true it was for you too. Having all that adoration, that attention, that smile focused solely on you? It was addictive, and you didn’t want it directed towards anyone else. You wanted his whole heart, you knew that much already, and you could only hope that he wanted the same from you.

Both of you only had one glass of wine with your food, as Kevin was driving you home, and by the time the two of you had reached the front door of your apartment (Kevin had insisted on walking you to your front door, even though it was an apartment building), you felt giddy. Giddy and ridiculous and unbelievably happy. This was it, this was what you had been waiting for. This moment, this knowledge, that same confidence in this thing with Kevin that he’d had all along. You only wished it hadn’t taken you so long.

But you were here now, that’s all that mattered. You and Kevin, together. As it should be.

As you unlocked your front door, you felt yourself pausing in the doorway, Kevin making a questioning noise as you stopped moving. You bit your bottom lip gently, before taking a deep breath to steel your nerves. “Do you want to come in?” you asked, looking up into those beautiful blue eyes.

Kevin’s lips parted in surprise, a stunned expression filling his face.

“Like, come in come in?” he asked, voice a little breathy.

The sheer want in his voice made you shiver, and you knew you’d made the right decision in asking him. You could basically taste the tension between you as you nodded slowly, Kevin swaying forward as if he couldn’t help himself.

But then he stopped, freezing still, making you frown.

“Are you sure? Like, it’s not too soon?” he forced out, eyes a little wild.

So you quickly shook your head, smiling at him checking.

“Kev, it’s us, right?”

He’d been saying it for weeks, that being together was just a next step in your strong foundation of friendship, so both of you giving in to that obvious desire wouldn’t ruin anything at all. You wanted him…he wanted you…so why not take things up another notch?

“Yeah, it’s us. Endgame, baby,” Kevin grinned.

And just like that, the tension burst like a balloon, making you laugh. Yeah, this was the man you were in love with alright.

“Come on loverboy,” you laughed, rolling your eyes fondly, “Let’s not give my neighbours a show,”

Kevin smirked, wiggling his eyebrows as he followed you into your apartment, making you laugh all over again. There was none of that nervous apprehension you’d felt with other guys before – it was all just excitement, fizzing and buzzing through your skin, and your mind swirled with ideas.

Stripping him down slowly, piece by piece.

Getting your mouth on him, every inch of his body, especially his cock.

Having him pin you down on your bed, all gorgeous 6ft5 of him surrounding you in the best way.

Fuck.

“I’ve been thinking about getting my hands on you since I saw you in that dress,”

Kevin’s soft words tore you out of your lustful thoughts, and you moaned softly at the shiver it sent up your spine. Fuck yes, you were getting laid tonight and it was going to be good.

“Then how about you get your hands on me?” you suggested, corner of your lips lifting up in a smirk.

He wasted no time in pressing you into the nearest wall, barely making it out of the entrance hallway, and you laughed as his hands went straight to your ass.

“Feeling better?” you mused, toying with the top button of his shirt.

This wasn’t a fiery desperate rush, crashing about, rough and riling up – no this was a slow build-up of lust and want, much like your relationship had been a slow build-up. No, this was a slow seduction, sweet and all-consuming, bodies moving in sync and taking what they wanted. And you couldn’t fucking wait.

“Hmm, a little,” Kevin grinned back.

“Only a little huh?” you teased.

“Oh I have a few ideas of what could help,” he murmured.

The flash of heat in his eyes sent a flare of heat through your body, and you couldn’t help but to dart your tongue out to wet your bottom lip, Kevin’s eyes tracking the motion, making you smile. But you had no time to tease him before he took your lips in a kiss, making you whimper at how quickly it got heated before Kevin broke away with a gasp, leaving your head spinning.

“So that’s one idea,” he grinned.

Oh fuck, this man was going to ruin you. But not before you ruined him a little bit first.

“What’s your next idea?” you breathed.

Kevin just grinned, stepping backwards a little bit, making you whine before you could stop yourself.

“Stay right where you are, beautiful. Keep your eyes on me,”

That you could do. You dramatically placed your hands against the wall, making him laugh as he dropped his jacket carelessly to the floor, and his fingers went to the top button of his shirt. He kept his eyes on you as he slowly unbuttoned his shirt, revealing his strong broad chest inch by inch until he was able to drop it to the floor, leaving him in just his jeans. Fuck. You would never be able to get enough of the sight of him like this, let alone the touch (and you couldn’t wait for the taste) – the strength in his shoulders, his chest, his core, his arms…fuck.

“Get back over here,” you said, voice low and rough.

Kevin inhaled sharply, and he wasted no time in stumbling back over to you, arms caging you in against the wall in a way that made you want.

“Great second idea. What’s next?” you breathed.

Fuck. This was winding you up and up and up and you knew the night had barely even started.

“I want…can I taste you?” he blurted.

What? But before you could ask what he meant, Kevin dropped to his knees, making you gasp. Oh fuck. Oh yes.

“You want to be on your knees for me?” you asked, swallowing heavily.

“Yeah, so bad,” Kevin nodded, a little desperate.

Well how could you say no to that?

Biting your bottom lip, you reached up under your dress, hooking your fingers into the sides of your panties and tugging them down. Kevin whined as his view was blocked by the skirt of your dress but you just grinned. This was the least he deserved for stripping his shirt off so slowly. You let your panties drop to the floor when they were past the thickness of your thighs and slowly stepped out of them, kicking them to one side.

His move.

Kevin’s eyes were wide and dark as he raised his hands to rest on your thighs, lips slightly parted.

“Please, can I?” he murmured, thumbs brushing under the skirt hem.

Fuck. This was all too much, the desire, his patience, his asking. Bring it on.

“Yeah, go ahead,” you nodded, inhaling sharply.

He slowly dragged the skirt of your dress up to your hips, moaning softly under his breath when you were revealed bare to him. One of his hands bunched up the dress to hold it in place, the other placed large and firm on your thigh, and his thumb lightly stroked over the wetness in your folds…before he stopped.

Kevin looked up at you, wordless asking one last time. And you just nodded, too overwhelmed in the moment to utter any words, your heart racing at the very sight of him kneeling so comfortably between your thighs. With a smile, he shuffled a little closer to you, ducking his head to place a reverent kiss to your clit, making you gasp, earning a soft laugh.

“Fuck, sweetheart,” Kevin mumbled, mostly to himself.

Then he ducked his head down and dove right in, tongue running over your folds in a wide stripe, his tongue flicking at your clit in a way that made you gasp. Fuck. How was he so good at this, straight off the bat? You could feel him smirking against your skin, before his tongue flicked at your clit again, and you couldn’t stop your hips bucking to chase the feeling. Fuck. The hand holding your dress out of the way adjusted to rest across your hips, pinning you to the wall, as his tongue ran back and forth over your core, gathering and tasting your wetness, dipping in and out of you, making you clench down on nothing. You didn’t hold back the soft moans that spilled from your lips, your body trembling with how good he made you feel. But as you clenched down empty again, you knew you could feel even better.

“More, Kev, please?” you begged.

“Fuck, that’s hot,” he groaned, resting his forehead against your hip.

You giggled, pushing his hair out of his eyes so he would look up at you.

“I want more,” you said firmly, eyes holding his in challenge.

And fuck did he rise to the challenge.

Kevin buried his face back between your thighs, eagerly running his tongue back and forth over you, into you, winding you up higher and higher, until he backed off to just sucking on your clit. Then you realised why he’d changed tactic, as his fingers moved to trail through your folds. With a fingertip teasing at your entrance, Kevin looked up at you, those big blue eyes questioning, and it was all you could do to nod. Leisurely Kevin slid a finger into you, letting you get used to the intrusion before he started to move it, gentle and slow, sending sparks up your spine and making your eyes clench shut. Then his teeth scraped over your clit and you wailed at the electricity that shot through your body, eyes flying open to glare down at him, wild and weak-kneed. Kevin’s eyes just sparkled with laughter, and he wasted no time in sliding in a second finger, sucking at your clit in the same rhythm in which he fucked his fingers into you. Fuck. You could feel a familiar heat start to build and you moaned – it wasn’t fair how quickly he learned the cues of your body.

Two can play at that game.

“You look so good on your knees for me,” you breathed, running your fingers through his messy hair.

Kevin’s eyes flashed with fire as he moaned at your words, sending a shockwave through you, making you gasp. Good. He leaned back slightly, tongue darting out over his swollen lips, before he smirked.

“You look so good with my fingers inside you,” he rasped back, curling both fingers over and over again in a come hither motion, “Going to look even better on my cock,”

Game, set, and match. Fuck. You cried out as the onslaught of his fingers sent you crashing through your high, Kevin smirking before he returned his tongue to lick between the two digits, prolonging the wave of pleasure until you were shaking and overwhelmed. Kevin backed off a little bit, leaning back to sit on his heels, but his face radiated smugness, of a job well done, even as the hard line of his cock strained against the denim of his jeans.

It was all you could do to fall to your knees to join him, straddling his lap lightly as you fought to regain control over your breathing, his hands going straight to your hips where your dress had fallen back down.

“Fuck, Kev,” you said with a shaky laugh.

He just smirked, wiggling his eyebrows, making you laugh for real. Ridiculous man. Without saying another word, you rested one hand against his bare chest, lifting the other hand to cup his face. You stroked your thumb over the wetness lingering on his bottom lip, before pressing down lightly on that lip to get him to open his mouth, and Kevin took the hint straight away, accepting your thumb into his mouth. You couldn’t take your eyes away from the sight of him closing his plush lips around it, sucking the wetness away, the same wetness that was still between your thighs.

Then his teeth scraped over the pad of your thumb, imitating his treatment of your clit, making you moan and clench down on nothing, even more evident where your thighs were spread across his lips.

“You’re such a tease,” you gasped, pulling your thumb free.

“Not a tease if I’m planning on following through,” Kevin said simply, smirk still playing with his expression.

The intensity in his eyes paired with the way his hands squeezed your hips sent a shiver up your spine, and you let a small smirk of your own drift across your lips.

“Hmm, yes, you said something about how good I’ll look with your cock inside me?” you murmured.

The noise that tore from Kevin’s throat was barely human, more feral than anything else, and the want in his eyes sent a wave of heat through your body. Fuck, yes.

“Fuck, yes,” he groaned, “I know I just said it in the heat of the moment, but do you…do you want…”

“Yeah, Kev, I want,” you nodded quickly.

Kevin all but growled. “Hook your legs around my waist,” he said firmly.

What?

And then you felt his abs tense, as Kevin anchored himself to stand up from the floor with you in his arms, and you shrieked as you hurried to do as he said, hooking your ankles together against the swell of his ass.

“Fuck, that’s hot,” you breathed, arms firmly around his neck as he held you securely.

It was all you could do not to think about how your bare core was pressed against his abs. Fuck.

“Yeah?” he smirked.

You rolled your eyes fondly. “Take me to bed, Kev,”

Kevin swallowed heavily, his eyes flashing dark and serious.

“Yes ma’am,”

A party was never just a simple party when Kevin Hayes was involved. Music was pounding, beer was flowing, shots were poured, and weed was an easy haze on the back porch. At all the parties he’d thrown like this in the past, you’d always drifted to and from him, flitting from group to group just like he did, always separate. But this time, no – this time you were sitting on the sofa with his arm wrapped around your waist, leaning into his body because now you could.

And fuck did it feel good.

“So, tell us, how does it feel to be finally be called Kevin’s girl, rather than Kevin’s New York girl?” Claude grinned.

Ah yes, that nickname. Finally, it could die.

“Feels pretty fucking sweet actually,” you said simply.

Everyone on the sofas around you burst into laughter, and you could feel the rumble of Kevin’s own laughter deep in his chest. You couldn’t help but look up at him with a smile, earning an adoring smile back, as well as a soft kiss. Yeah, this was exactly where you wanted to be.

“How did you two actually meet?” Ryanne asked, smiling, “Like, I know you’ve been friends for years…but how?”

You found yourself smiling as you looked back up at Kevin, and he smiled down at you. It was true, you really had been friends with him for years at this point. And your first meeting was pretty funny.

“Go ahead,” Kevin shrugged.

His loss.

“Alright, so it went like this…”

Sunday night was grocery run night – and this week was no different. You walked into the lobby of your apartment building with both your arms full, trying to figure out how you were going to call the elevator, when you noticed a very tall guy already waiting, the elevator call button pressed. Huh, that solved that problem.

He smiled as you stopped next to him, giving you a little nod. “Hey,”

Holy shit this guy is hot. No, not the time. Tall…hot…great smile…no, focus. Be cool.

“Oh hey, you’re one of the new guys, right?” you smiled, tilting your head to look up at him.

“Yeah, I’m Kevin. I just got a place with my buddies Jimmy and Brady. A couple of floors up from you, right?”

Oh wow. He froze as your eyes widened in surprise, and groaned.

“I swear I’m not a creep?” he offered, wincing, “I’m just really good with faces,”

For some reason, you believed him. Call it intuition, or vibes, or whatever. This guy was being genuine. Huh.

“I guess I’ll have to take your word for it,” you teased.

His shoulders slumped a little as if releasing tension, making you smile. As if by fate, the elevator pinged its arrival, and Kevin gestured for you to enter first before following you in.

“So,”

You couldn’t help but laugh as you spoke in unison, Kevin just grinning. Oops.

“Go ahead,” you mused.

“I was going to say, if you fancy meeting my other flatmates too, we’re having a little housewarming of sorts. Like, a bunch of our friends are coming over, sort of a drop in and out whenever time kind of thing. It’d be nice to meet you properly, and show you I’m not actually a weirdo? Friday, if you’re free?”

Oh wow. That was really…sweet? Sure, it could blow up in your face, and he could actually be a creep…but again, those intuitive vibes were saying he wasn’t. And it definitely beats sitting at home and eating cold pizza. Again.

And damn, if his flatmates looked anything like him? Eye candy for days.

“Friday huh? I could do Friday,” you said simply, trying to keep your cool.

His answering smile let you know you’d made the right decision.

“…and after that, we became really good friends, all four of us. He never flirted with me after that time in the elevator and I tried my hardest not to flirt with him. I stayed in touch with Kev when he went to the Jets and then here to the Flyers, and he was one of the first people I got in contact with when my job moved me to Philadelphia. And then everything changed a few weeks ago. The rest is history,” you shrugged.

Kevin grinned, although he definitely had a blush on his cheeks.

“You were such a creep,” Claude said, laughing.

Kevin blushed a little fiercer. “It just came out! Of course I noticed the prettiest girl in the building – that was the least awful way I could’ve said it,”

You rolled your eyes as his friends hooted and jeered, although you felt your cheeks heat up with warmth.

“Just couldn’t help yourself, huh?” you teased.

“I got there in the end, didn’t I?” he shot back with a dramatic wink.

“Only took you a few years,” Nolan snorted.

Kevin just grinned, unashamed.

It may have taken a few years, but Kevin was right – you had gotten there in the end. All the years of self-doubt and insecurity, thinking you’d never be more than just friends, had resulted in a beautiful – if unexpected – relationship. A build-up of such a solid foundation of friendship over the past four years had already given you the opportunity to learn so much about him – and you couldn’t wait to learn even more. To learn about Kevin, the boyfriend. And, maybe even more than that, if you were lucky. Yes, unexpected as this may have been, you were in this for the long haul. And you couldn’t wait.

#my writing #kevin hayes #there's just something about this big guy #where can I find myself a guy like this kevin?#I just love a bit of friends to lovers!#kevin hayes fic #kevin hayes x reader #kevin hayes imagine #kevin hayes fanfic #friends to lovers #nhl writing #nhl fic #nhl imagine #hockey writing #hockey fic #hockey imagine

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longitudinalwaveme · 3 years

Text

The Amazing James Jesse

The Flash stars in: The Amazing James Jesse

Dramatis Personae

Barry Allen, the dorky, chronically late police scientist who is secretly the Flash

Patty Spivot, Barry’s coworker, who is just as awkward as he is

Mirror Master, the larcenous Lord of the Looking Glass, alias Sam Scudder

Heat Wave, a dimwitted, loyal pyromaniac, alias Mick Rory

Captain Boomerang, the rude, crude, and socially unacceptable Australian appropriator, alias George “Digger” Harkness

The Trickster, a charming con artist with weaponized yo-yos, alias James Jesse

Script

Act I

(Enter Barry Allen and Patty Spivot, from opposite directions. Barry is on the phone, and Patty is carrying a tray full of things )

Barry: (On the phone) Don’t worry, Iris. I won’t be late, I promise. Mmm-hmm. Uh-huh. No, I didn’t forget that Bart’s going to his friend’s house. Mmm-hmm. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Yes, I remembered to water the flowers this morning. (Pause) That’s terrific, honey! I knew that article was a winner. You’re an amazing- (runs into Patty, knocking tray out of her hands and dropping his phone). Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry, Miss...um….what’s your name again? I’m sorry, I’m terrible with names. (Patty is on her knees, trying to pick up the mess. Barry joins her, and they clean up the mess as they talk.) Here, let me help you. I’m really sorry. That was my fault. I’m-

Patty: You’re Barry Allen, the chief forensic scientist of the CCPD!

Barry: Yes, I am. Actually, as far as I knew, I was their only forensic scientist. What’s your name? I know I should know it, but like my wife says, I’d probably lose my head if it wasn’t screwed on.

Patty: I’m Patty Spivot, the newest member of the forensics department. I’ve only been here for a week, so it’s not surprising you don’t know my name. I was just transferred here from Coast City.

Barry: Nice to meet you. (Stands up and helps her to her feet) Did we clean up everything?

Patty: Everything but your phone.

Barry: Oh. Right. I’ll get that. (Picks up phone) Welcome to CCPD’s forensics lab, Ms. Spivot. I promise, I’m not this much of a klutz most of the time.

Patty: Anything else I should know, Mr. Allen?

Barry: Well, I’m always late, Captain Singh’s bark is worse than his bite, Detective Chyre acts tough but is nice once you get to know him, and literally running into me is probably the most exciting thing that will happen to you in the forensics department. Central City doesn’t have much crime for such a large city, and the crimes that do happen usually don’t require much forensic examination, because the perpetrators often don’t try to hide their guilt. So before you ask, no, you probably won’t work on a Rogues case. I never have, and I know the Flash personally.

Patty: Is that why CCPD only has two forensic scientists?

Barry: Pretty much.

Patty: That would explain the fact that I was transferred to such a large city despite the fact that I don’t have a whole lot of experience.

Barry: Well, if you need help, you can just ask me. Now, if you’ll excuse me, Ms. Spivot, I should probably call my wife back before she starts to worry about me.

Patty: No problem. Good-bye, Mr. Allen.

Barry Allen: Good-bye, Ms. Spivot. It was nice to meet you. (Patty exits, Barry pulls out phone) Hello? Iris? (Pause) Yes, it’s me. I accidentally dropped my phone. What were you saying about that article again? (Pause) Oh, that’s right, it got on the front page. Congratulations, sweetheart! Mmm-hmm. Uh-huh. (Pause) No, everything’s been quiet lately. Mmm-hmm. Mmm-hmm. All right. I love you, honey. Good-bye. (Puts phone away) I really wish I hadn’t lost my super speed. It’s nice to know that Wally and Jay have my back, but I miss running around as the Flash all the time. Oh, well. I can help people as police scientist Barry Allen just as well as I did as the Flash. (Barry walks to chair, sits down, and starts mixing chemicals) Besides, now that I’m not the Flash, I can spend more time with Iris and Bart. This is good. This is fine. I am totally not upset that my nephew and my idol are better at being the Flash than I was. This is great. (Pause) Why am I talking to myself?

(Enter Patty)

Patty: Mr. Allen, the Flash is here to see you.

Barry: Which one?

Patty: I’m not sure. He’s younger than us, if that helps.

Barry: Oh. That’s Wally. Tell him I’ll be right out.

Patty: Okay, Mr. Allen. I will.

(Exit Patty)

Barry: Knowing Wally, he’s found a new favorite fast food place. But I can’t say no to seeing my favorite nephew. And who knows, maybe he has some useful information this time.

(Exit Barry)

Act II

(Mirror Master is onstage. Enter Heat Wave)

Heat Wave: Hi, there, Mirror Master! It’s good to see you!

Mirror Master: Hey, Mick. Where’s the Captain? I thought you were bringing him.

Heat Wave: Well, I was going to, but I couldn’t find him. I think they must’ve moved him to a different wing of the prison or something.

Mirror Master: Well, that’s unfortunate. Did you find anyone else?

Heat Wave: Nope. Piper tried to escape two weeks ago, but being the bleeding heart that he is, when he saw that one of his fellow-escapees was trying to kill a guard, he stopped him but got a broken arm in the process, so he won’t be out for awhile. Golden Glider and the Top are in Hawaii for the fifth anniversary of their first date, and Weather Wizard seems to have dropped off the map entirely. Nobody knows where he is.

Mirror Master: Well, that’s just dandy. I’m pretty powerful, but I don’t think we can pull off a heist with just the two of us.

(Enter Boomerang)

Boomerang: G’day, mates!

Heat Wave: Oh, that’s right! Captain Boomerang finally recovered from his broken leg! I knew I was forgetting something!

Mirror Master: Hey, Digger. Long time no see. How’s your leg? Boomerang: Never better, mate.

Heat Wave: Hi again, Digger. I’m glad that you’re feeling better.

Boomerang: Thanks. You’re a bonzer mate, Heat Wave

Heat Wave: Thanks. (To Mirror Master) That wasn’t an Australian insult, was it?

Mirror Master: No, you’re good. (To Boomerang) Why are you in such a good mood?

Boomerang: Two reasons, mate. First, I can finally fight the Flash again and prove to him that boomerangs always come back. Second, I’ve got enough coldies to get off my face.

Mirror Master: You will save that for after the heist, won’t you?

Boomerang: Of course I will. I’m a bloody professional, I am.

Mirror Master: All right. Do either of you have an idea for our heist? Because if you don’t, I was thinking that we could-

(Enter Trickster, disguised as the Flash)

Trickster: Stop in the name of the law!

Boomerang: Oh, no! It’s the Flash!

Heat Wave: You can’t show up yet! We’re not ready!

Mirror Master: Stop yelling at him and run!

Trickster: (Laughs) You should see the looks on your faces! (Takes off disguise) They’re priceless! (Laughs harder)

Heat Wave: (excited) Trickster?

Boomerang: (confused) Trickster?

Mirror Master: (annoyed) TRICK-STER!

Trickster: That’s my name, don’t wear it out!

Heat Wave: Where have you been? I haven’t seen you in months, little buddy!

Trickster: Oh, here, there, and everywhere. (Pulls out tacky souvenir) Want some memorabilia from Las Vegas?

Mirror Master: I think I’ll pass. (Pause) What were you doing in Las Vegas?

Trickster: What everyone does in Vegas: making stupid decisions that they’ll later regret!

Mirror Master: Meaning?

Trickster: I decided to use my airwalker shoes to sit on top of that big pyramid with a hundred balloons tied around my waist and while wearing bell-bottom jeans and a hot pink shirt.

Mirror Master: And you decided to do this because….

Trickster: I like attention!

Mirror Master: (Aside) Well, that much is obvious.

Boomerang: Why didn’t you take me, mate? I love Vegas!

Trickster: Because you almost died of alcohol poisoning the last time you went to Vegas, and that was kind of a downer.

Heat Wave: Did you go anywhere else, little buddy?

Trickster: As a matter of fact, I did! I went to New Orleans-Mardi Gras is fun!-and New York City and Hollywood and Chicago and Gotham and Star City and Metropolis and Coast City and Seattle and Paris!

Mirror Master: How’d you go to Paris? None of us would ever get approved for a passport.

Trickster: Paris, Kentucky . It’s got really nice people-why, I sold more shares for the Great Mississippi Bridge there than I did anywhere else.

Heat Wave: Oooh, can I buy a share, too?

Trickster: I’d love to let you, my shortness-challenged friend, but the Great Mississippi Bridge isn’t real, just my latest money-making trick. I don’t want to cheat a friend.

Heat Wave: Oh. (Pause) How’d you get so smart, little buddy?

Trickster: It’s a gift-just like my angelic cuteness.

Mirror Master: (Aside) Angelic my foot. (To Trickster) So you disappeared for six months to go on a cross-country swindling trip?

Trickster: No, I disappeared for six months to admire my country. The swindling was just an additional benefit. (Pulls out a wad of bills) Anybody want some cash?

Boomerang: Why, you little ripper! Have I ever told you that your blood’s worth bottling? ‘Cause it is, mate. Give it here. (Trickster hands him some bills) Thanks!

Trickster: No problem. Anyone else?

Heat Wave: Sure, little buddy. (Trickster gives him money) This really warms my heart.

Trickster: What are friends for? ( Pause) How about you, Sam?

Mirror Master: All right, what’s the catch?

Trickster: Oh, no catch, my suspicious friend. No catch at all. I live to outwit people, not to make money. I don’t need extra cash tying me down. (Pause) Do you want the money now?

Mirror Master: I’m good, thanks. (Pause) So, do you have an idea for a heist? Because if not, I was thinking that-

Trickster: As a matter of fact, I do! Central City’s First National Bank is receiving a new shipment of money, and I have a brilliant idea for how to steal it. I’ll create a distraction with my amazing bubble machine and my rubber chickens while you guys use the Mirror Realm to get into the vault and take the money. If the Flash shows up, he’ll be impeded by the large crowds and by my weaponized yo-yos, and even if he gets past me, he’ll still have to defeat both Captain Boomerang and Heat Wave to get to you-and since you can pick us up from just about anywhere, all we have to do is make sure that you escape with the cash. Am I brilliant, or am I brilliant?

Captain Boomerang: Sounds good to me, mate!

Heat Wave: I like it, too. You’re so smart, Trickster.

Trickster: I know. Mirror Master?

Mirror Master: (Aside) I’ll probably regret agreeing to this idea, but it’s not actually a bad plan, so I can’t really object to it. (To Trickster) It’s a sound idea. Let’s do it.

Trickster: I knew you’d like it. Now, let’s go get lunch and get ready for our heist!

(Exit all)

Act III

(Barry is onstage. Enter Patty.)

Patty: Hi, Mr. Allen.

Barry: Oh, hello again, Ms. Spivot. What do you need?

Patty: Well, normally I wouldn’t have bothered you, because I know that you’re really busy with that arson case, but I just got a really weird phone call.

Barry: What sort of weird phone call?

Patty: It was from somebody who was calling himself James Jesse. He said that you were the Flash, but that’s impossible because you said that the Flash was your nephew and…..

Barry: James Jesse?

Patty: Yeah. Kind of a strange name, I thought…..

Barry: Ms. Spivot, James Jesse is the Trickster!

Patty: But why would he be calling you?

Barry: Because I’m the Flash, too….or rather, I used to be.

Patty: What do you mean, you used to be?

Barry: A month ago, I was fighting Abra Kadabra, a malevolent magician from the 64th century, when he hit me with some sort of ray that took away my super speed. Luckily, Wally and Jay were there, too, and managed to defeat him, but I didn’t get my powers back, so I had to give up being the Flash. The Trickster doesn’t know about that, because he left Central City six months ago, so he still sees me as the Flash.

Patty: Well, what should I do? He really seems to want you to talk to him.

Barry: (Sighs) Give me the phone. I’ll come up with something.

(Patty exits, then returns with a phone)

Patty: Here, Mr. Allen.

Barry: (Takes phone) Thank you. (To Trickster) This is Barry Allen, Trickster. What do you want? (Pause) I’d advise you not to go through with that heist if you value your liberty. (Pause) I can’t say I expected you to change your mind. Just know that the Flash will be there to stop you. Mmm-hmm. Uh-huh. Good day. (Closes phone) He’s planning a heist at the First National Bank. Tell the police that they should be ready for the Flash to deliver some Rogues to them.

Patty: I will, Mr. Allen. Gosh, this is so exciting!

(Exit Patty)

Barry: Now to call Wally. (Dials number) Wally’s Voice: (From offstage) I can’t come to the phone right now because I’m fighting aliens. Leave a message after the beep.

Barry: Okay, I’ll try Jay. (Dials number)

Jay’s Voice: (From offstage) This is Jay Garrick, the original Flash. I can’t come to the phone right now, so please leave a message.

Barry: (Closes phone and sighs) Now what am I supposed to do? Jay and Wally are both busy, and I don’t have my speed. Who’s going to stop the Trickster and his teammates now? What am I going to do? The Rogues have to be stopped, but without my speed, I don’t know if I can stop them. Of all the times for the Trickster to show up again...wait a minute! That’s it! It’s time for police scientist Barry Allen to out-trick the Trickster! (Pause) Who am I talking to?

Act IV

(Enter Trickster, Mirror Master, Heat Wave, and Boomerang. Trickster is carrying a rubber chicken, a teddy bear, and his “amazing bubble machine”)

Mirror Master: Okay, that food was legitimately delicious. Good call, Trickster.

Trickster: Why, thank you, Sam.

Heat Wave: I agree. I especially liked their ghost peppers. They’re so warm and spicy.

Boomerang: And their beer is terrific!

Mirror Master: I thought I told you not to drink until we were done with the heist!

Boomerang: It was only one tinny, Sam. It ain’t gonna hurt me.

Mirror Master: That’s what you said right before that heist where you set off the burglar alarm because you were too drunk to avoid it, too.

Boomerang: But I mean it this time!

Heat Wave: Mirror Master, he’s good at what he does. He’ll be fine.

Mirror Master: I hope you’re right, Mick. I really hope you’re right.

Trickster: Besides, I called the Flash and told him about our heist already, so it won’t matter if he sets off an alarm.

Mirror Master: You did WHAT?

Trickster: I called the Flash and told him about our heist. I told you, I like attention-and I like the Flash’s attention best of all, because he’s a real challenge!

Mirror Master: But he always beats us! How do you expect our heist to succeed if he knows that it’s going to happen ahead of time?

Trickster: Because it’s the game I love, not the money! Didn’t I already tell you that?

Boomerang: Do you have kangaroos loose in your top paddock or what? I want money, not a beating from the Flash!

Trickster: Don’t worry so much, guys. The only person who has to get in the bank is Mirror Master. It doesn’t matter what happens to us as long as he gets away.

Heat Wave: See, guys? He knows what he’s doing.

Mirror Master: Forgive me if I’m less than convinced. (Sighs) All right, let’s get to the bank. Maybe we’ll get lucky and be able to salvage some of the heist.

(Cut to Trickster standing outside the bank, shooting bubbles everywhere)

Trickster: Bubbles bubbles bubbles! Fear my bubbles!

(Enter Barry Allen)

Barry: Hello, Trickster.

Trickster: Hi, Flash! Do you like my bubbles?

Barry: Indeed I do. They’re quite impressive.

Trickster: Really? Why, thank you!

Barry: Is there anything special about those bubbles?

Trickster: Actually, yes! The bubbles can stick to people and hold them in place.

Barry: And what else do you have?

Trickster: Ooh, I have an explosive teddy bear and a rubber chicken that sprays sleeping gas when I squeeze it.

Barry: Fascinating.

Trickster: Aren’t you going to try to stop me?

Barry: Why would I do that? Your new inventions are far too advanced for me to stop.

Trickster: Really? Well, that’s disappointing. The game isn’t fun if you won’t play.

Barry: I’m sorry to disappoint you, Trickster.

Trickster: Can’t you at least try to stop me?

Barry: Sorry. No can do.

Trickster: Please? Please? Please? Pretty please?

Barry: Don’t you want to win?

Trickster: It doesn’t count if you let me win! It’s no fun!

Barry: That’s terribly unfortunate.

Trickster: Stop that! Stop it stop it stop it!

Barry: Stop what?

Trickster: Stop not trying!

Barry: Good-bye, Trickster.

(Barry starts to leave)

Trickster: NO! If you won’t play, then I quit!

(He throws down his weapons and starts to leave)

Barry: All right, then you’re under arrest.

(Barry handcuffs Trickster)

Trickster: (Stunned) You….you tricked me!

Barry: Yes, I did. You see, I don’t have my super powers right now, so if I had fought you directly, I would have lost and you would have gotten away. Therefore, I realized that if I wanted to defeat you, I had to turn your own nature against you. You always want a challenge, so I knew that if I didn’t provide it to you, you would eventually try to leave, and I could then catch you off guard. Face it, Trickster. I just beat you at your own game.

Trickster: So you did...but since you don’t have superpowers, how are you going to stop my teammates from robbing the bank?

(Enter Boomerang, Mirror Master, and Heat Wave, all looking rather disheveled)

Barry: Well, you see, while I was on my way here to out-trick you, I managed to get ahold of Wally, and while I was distracting you, he stopped your friends.

Mirror Master: (To Trickster) I knew trusting you was a bad idea!

Boomerang: Yeah! I don’t know why I trusted you! I mean, you call yourself the bloody Trickster! And now, thanks to you, I won’t get to enjoy getting off my face!

Heat Wave: Aww, lay off the little guy. How was he supposed to know that we’d end up facing two Flashes instead of one?

Mirror Master: Because he’s supposed to be the smart one! He’s a con artist! Outsmarting people is his job! Are you telling me that it was too much for him to outsmart two people at once?

Trickster: Well, I may be a con artist, but I’m also a performer. If I don’t have an appreciative audience, I don’t see the point in going onstage.

Heat Wave: I appreciate your work.

Trickster: And I appreciate the sentiment, but you weren’t there when he showed up, so I was stuck when he refused to play along.

Boomerang: You coulda done something, mate!

Trickster: (To the audience) Some people have no appreciation for art. (To Boomerang) Done what? Attack a Flash who wouldn’t fight back? That was too easy! It would’ve been boring!

Mirror Master: More boring than going to prison?

Trickster: I like prison-in limited doses, anyhow. I love trying out my humor on new guards!

Boomerang: Well, you may be loony enough to like prison, but I hate it! I can’t get a coolie in prison! If you wanted to go to jail, you should’ve done it on your own!

Trickster: And miss the opportunity to spend time with you guys? No way! You’re way too much fun to mess with!

Heat Wave: Trickster’s right. As long as we’re together, it doesn’t matter where we are.

Mirror Master: Just stop talking. You sound like a bad Hallmark movie. (To Barry) Please, take me away already so I don’t have to deal with Mr. Small, Blonde, and Annoying anymore.

Trickster: Aww, I love you too, Sam.

Boomerang: (To Barry) And could you gag him or something? I’ve had enough of listening to his big mouth for awhile. (Aside) Cripes, I really need a tinny.

Trickster: Pot, this is the kettle calling. He wants you to stop calling him black.

Heat Wave: Yeah, Digger. If anyone has a big mouth, it’s you.

Boomerang: Why are you taking his side? He got us all arrested!

Heat Wave: Because he gave us free money when he didn’t have to, did 80% of the work for this heist, and hasn’t gotten mad that you two are yelling at him. Sure, we didn’t succeed, but we never do. It ain’t fair to get mad at him, and you blaming him for our failure really burns me up.

Boomerang: (Aside) He’s gone soft, he has! (Pause) I’m really startin’ to regret that tinny. My head’s aching something fierce.

Mirror Master: (To Barry) Can we go now?

Barry: I’m surprised that you’re so eager, but yes, we can.

(All start to exit)

Trickster: I guess you could say that this was a…. speedy defeat!

Boomerang/Mirror Master/Barry/Heat Wave: TRICK-STER!

Trickster: (“Innocently”) What? (Pause, then, to Barry) Great acting, by the way. I’m impressed.

Barry: (Confused) Um...thanks. I think.

(Exit All)

Act V

(Barry is onstage, talking on the phone)

Barry: (To Iris) Yes, I’m fine. Thanks for your concern. (Pause) Yes, Wally was great. You can definitely give him a lot of credit in your article. Mmm-hmm. Uh-huh. Yes, I’ll be home soon. Tell Bart I love him. I love you, too. Good-bye. (Puts phone away) Not a bad day’s work for a man with no superpowers, if I do say so myself.

(Enter Patty)

Patty: Are you all right? I heard you got into a fight with those awful Rogues!

Barry: I’m all right, Ms. Spivot. I’ve fought the Rogues often enough that I know how to handle them, even without super speed. But thanks for your concern. I really appreciate it.

Patty: You’re welcome, Mr. Allen.

Barry: Oh my gosh! I just realized that I’m off work now! If I don’t hurry, I’ll be late to pick up Bart! Gotta run! Bye!

(Exit Barry)

Patty: (Takes off lab coat to reveal a black leather jacket underneath, pulls hair out of bun) Ugh! Playing the good girl is hard! (Pulls out phone) Hi, Roscoe, darling! Our plan is working perfectly! Thanks to everyone thinking that we’re in Hawaii, he doesn’t even suspect that I’m not really “Patty Spivot”. (Pause) Why, thank you, Roscoe! I’m so glad you think I’m clever. After all, it’s true. And get this! Trickster called police headquarters and didn’t even suspect that I wasn’t really a novice police officer! I outsmarted the Trickster! (Pause) Oh, honeybunch, are you all right? I know you’re sick, but I didn’t think it was that bad. (Pause) Don’t worry, I’ll be sure to get your cure, too. If all goes well, I’ll be able to make you well, defeat the Flashes, and prove to Lenny that I’m as bad as he is all with one scheme! (Pause) Be careful, my little snuggle bunny. Don’t overexert yourself. I love you. Bye-bye. (Puts phone away) Central City, you’d better watch out-the Golden Glider’s on the attack! (Laughs)

#barry allen #flash rogues #dc comics #fanfic

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nerianasims · 3 years

Text

Billboard #1s 1975

Under the cut.

Elton John – “Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds” -- January 4, 1975

He slowed it down. Of course he did. And he's singing it like every word must be perfectly enunciated so that you can understand how incredibly deep it is. Awful, terrible, ugh. William Shatner's version is actually preferable.

Barry Manilow – “Mandy” -- January 18, 1975

Barry Manilow got a lot of hate when I was a kid in the 80s, and I didn't understand from any first-hand experience because the only song I knew of his was "Copacabana." Now, listening -- he's not bad. Yeah, he's 70s light rock. But he sings with emotion that doesn't sound fake and this song has a beat. I'm not saying I like this song, in which the singer regrets sending away the woman he loves, but it's fine. I find it far more tolerable than any Elton John song on this list.

The Carpenters – “Please Mr. Postman” -- January 25, 1975

The Carpenters' asset was Karen Carpenter's amazing singing. This song does not showcase it. They'd have done better to cover "Will You Love Me Tomorrow" or "One Fine Day." Also the way they redid the music makes it sound more like a light 50s pop song than early Motown. Blech.

Neil Sedaka – “Laughter In The Rain” -- February 1, 1975

This song is about taking walks in the rain with his wife/girlfriend. There's something fake about his singing, and also he doesn't hit the high notes (which aren't that high) right. I'd actually like to hear what Barry Manilow would do with this. It's not terrible, but meh.

Ohio Players – “Fire” -- February 8, 1975

Putting sirens in a pop song is kinda dickish, because you're gonna get people driving in their cars to try to suddenly swerve off the road. Anyway, besides that, this is an Ohio Players song, so it's funk. I don't really know what else to say about it. Maybe it could have been a little faster? I'm a bit bored, and that should never happen with funk.

Linda Ronstadt – “You’re No Good” -- February 15, 1975

There are sure a lot of covers this year. Boomer nostalgia. But Linda Ronstadt put a hell of a lot of effort into this one, unlike the people who did the previous two covers. The song's also a really good one, with an interesting lyrical twist; not only is the singer telling the man who broke her heart that he's no good, but "I broke a heart that’s gentle and true/ Well, I broke a heart over someone like you.” That's some vinegar in the wound. And musically, it's really good rock -- not an ounce of schmaltz anywhere. Excellent song, and I went back to listen to it on repeat when I was done writing for the night.

Average White Band – “Pick Up The Pieces” -- February 22, 1975

It's a funk instrumental. I think this has been on a lot of soundtracks. I find it repetitive and kinda boring.

Eagles – “Best Of My Love” -- March 1, 1975

They're still in love but their marriage is falling apart. The divorce rate in the 70s was very high. People often claim those 70s statistics are the same today, but they very much are not. Anyway, it's not too whiny and he doesn't blame her, but the song is too slow and too light. You could replace the words with a straightforward love song without changing the music, so long as the love song was boring. Yawn.

Olivia Newton-John – “Have You Never Been Mellow” -- March 8, 1975

Wow, shut up Olivia. I can identify with being sick of someone who is wound up like an E string and wanting to tell them to just chill. Hell, I'm that tightly-wound person pretty often, and I do much better when I remember to be mellow when I can. But this song is condescending and superior. "Have you never tried to find a comfort from inside you?" Toxic positivity.

The Doobie Brothers – “Black Water” -- March 15, 1975

I saw the song title and the chorus immediately started up in my brain. This is a song about the Mississippi by people who may never have been east of Las Vegas. "I ain't got no worries/ Cuz I ain't in a hurry at all." Pfft right. But the music of this song is so catchy and fun, that even though I'm not fond of the lyrics, I like the song.

Frankie Valli – “My Eyes Adored You” -- March 22, 1975

This guy used to lead The Four Seasons, but thankfully he doesn't do that horrible falsetto in this one. Ostensibly this song is about how he's thinking about his first crush. I think that's a metaphor, though. I think it's a song worshiping nostalgia and missing childhood. Yuck.

LaBelle – “Lady Marmalade” -- March 29, 1975

Patti LaBelle claimed she didn't know what this song was about. Yeah right. It's about a guy who spent some time with a sex worker on his trip to New Orleans. There's no judgment. It's just a sort of funky, sort of disco-ey, definitely belted song and it’s great.

Minnie Riperton – “Lovin’ You” -- April 5, 1975

Turn it off turn it off turn it off. I hate this song. It's one of the first songs I knew I hated musically, rather than only lyrically. The lyrics are whatever, a 70s love song, but the music -- I can't handle it. It's like sandpaper on my brain.

Elton John – “Philadelphia Freedom” -- April 12, 1975

Elton John's ode to Philly soul. It doesn't work. It's too slow, it's repetitive, and Elton John's no soul singer. He's so boring.

B. J. Thomas – “(Hey Won’t You Play) Another Somebody Done Somebody Wrong Song” -- April 26, 1975

Hey won't you not play that please. It's too slow, and it's without guts or grit. The Muppets sped it up and made it a multi-Muppet honky tonk singalong, which improved it a lot. Also I think Bo Burnham took the idea for "Y'all dumb motherfuckers want a key change?" from Rowlf's "Up a key!" line in the Muppet version.

Tony Orlando & Dawn – “He Don’t Love You (Like I Love You)” -- May 3, 1975

Another cover of a 60s song. Linda Rondstadt is still the only one to do it right. The song itself, when sung by others, is a good one. Not when sung by Tony Orlando. It's like he bleached it. Also I expect him to tell me the slot machines are available all night when he's done.

Earth, Wind & Fire – “Shining Star” -- May 24, 1975

This song is absolutely awesome. It's disco-funk, and yet it's sort of a sermon about self-actualization too. "You’re a shining star, no matter who you are / Shining bright to see what you could truly be.” Compare and contrast with the condescending "Have You Never Been Mellow." This is how you inspire people.

Freddy Fender – “Before The Next Teardrop Falls” -- May 31, 1975

This song is in both English and Spanish. Musically, it sounds like it comes from way before 1975, but that's not a bad thing. The singer is losing his woman to another man, but he tells her if the new man ever hurts her, he'll be there before the next teardrop falls. It's a solid country song.

John Denver – “Thank God I’m A Country Boy” -- June 7, 1975

How much money did John Denver have by this point? He sounds like the typical rich conservative talking about how he's a good ol' down home boy while he's got a condo in New York, a mansion in California, and keeps an official residence in Oklahoma for tax purposes that he never visits. "A-raisin’ me a family and working on the farm / My days are all filled with an easy country charm." Total and absolute bullshit -- farm work is phenomenally hard, not "easy country charm." This song is offensively bad.

America – “Sister Golden Hair” -- June 14, 1975

The singer isn't ready for commitment but can't stop thinking about the woman he's singing to. So he's trying to keep her hangin' on. There's one line that I hate: "Will you love me just a little, just enough to show you care?" How about you show her you care first, you entitled brat? The music's pretty good, but the lyrics bug me.

The Captain & Tennille – “Love Will Keep Us Together” -- June 21, 1975

It has a beat and some bounce at least. She sings about how some girl may come along to try to take him away -- seriously? This silly hat-wearing doof? Okay, that's a problem. Another problem is that she sounds perfectly chipper throughout. She's not worried, but who would be? I think this song struck a chord because of the divorce rate in the 70s. That, along with it having an actual beat of some kind unlike so many other hits of the era, is my theory as to how it got big.

Wings – “Listen To What The Man Said” -- July 19, 1975

There is, of course, nothing wrong with silly love songs. But some of them are not good songs. I usually love to hear a saxophone on a pop song, but this one sounds like it belongs in background music on a TV show. The main melody line is boring. I think it's another song about divorce anxiety: "No matter what the man said/ And love is fine for all we know/ For all we know, our love will grow." Very true. But did you have to be so boring when imparting this message, Paul?

Van McCoy & The Soul City Symphony – “The Hustle” -- July 26, 1975

Doo doo doo da doo doo doo da doo. My dad actually knew how to do the two-person hustle. I think. Anyway, how he showed me to dance is the way the couples are dancing in the Hustle video here. Minus that leg kick. There are almost no words to this song. Just "Do the Hustle" and "The Hustle. Do it." And -- okay! It is an irresistible dance song. I like it, though the piccolo (I think it's a piccolo) gets hard to listen to after a while.

Eagles – “One Of These Nights” -- August 2, 1975

Tom Breihan, whose Stereogum articles I've been using to track these songs, doesn't like the Eagles when they turned to a bit more of a rock direction with this song. This is one of many examples of how he's wrong. Okay, okay, an example of how my taste differs from his, which is one thing that pushed me to do this list. But yes, I really like this song a lot. The guitars are great. The narrator of this song is looking for a girlfriend. Or maybe a friend with benefits. The lyrics are all pretty good, if hardly Stevie Nicks level, but one line stands out: "Oh, loneliness will blind you in between the wrong and the right." It will.

The Bee Gees – “Jive Talkin'” -- August 9, 1975

I made a weird noise that scared my cat when I saw this was the next one. But thankfully, I have a little more time before Barry Gibb's horrible falsetto pierces my brain. This is nonetheless a Bee Gees disco song, which means my butt is firmly planted in my seat and I have no desire to dance whatsoever. It isn't ear-bleeding like their later songs, as the falsetto is absent, but it is terribly boring.

Hamilton, Joe Frank And Reynolds – “Fallin’ In Love” -- August 23, 1975

He's fallin' in love with you again. Or maybe fallin' more in love with you. I dunno. I'm falling asleep.

KC & The Sunshine Band – “Get Down Tonight” -- August 30, 1975

Some dance songs are good listening songs. This one is not. The narrator wants to do a little dance, make a little love, get down tonight. And if you are not there to get down, the song is not for you. Especially how repetitive it gets in the second half. It serves its purpose as a dance song well, though.

Glen Campbell – “Rhinestone Cowboy” -- September 6, 1975

I really like rhinestones. I like sparkly stuff. The narrator of this song does too. He's been trying to get somewhere for a long time and has had it. He's eager to sell out thoroughly at this point. I get it. Oh boy do I get it. And being a rhinestone cowboy doesn't hurt anyone. If I could churn out huge amounts of disposable fiction with a "load of compromising" to make a lot of money, I'd do it in a heartbeat. My 20-year old self would be shocked. But life's hard, and "cringe" isn't harm. Rhinestone Cowboy's good in my book.

David Bowie – “Fame” -- September 20, 1975

And here's a song about how chasing celebrity is maybe not such a great idea. A really bad idea, actually. "It drives you to crime," for one thing. Yet this is musically not a dour song at all. It's angry but upbeat at the same time. Also brilliant musically, which from David Bowie is "of course." Most excellent.

John Denver – “I’m Sorry” -- September 27, 1975

The narrator is sorry about a breakup. He says he's also "sorry for the way things are in China." That one line makes me side-eye the entire song. Saying that they're sorry for huge things that have nothing to do with them is something abusive people sometimes do. The rest of the song sounds sincere enough though. And boring. Oh, so very boring.

Neil Sedaka – “Bad Blood” -- October 11, 1975

The narrator is telling a guy that the woman he's with is bad and is going to mess him up. And he's angry about it -- not at the woman, but at the guy. I think the narrator wanted the woman and is now calling her an evil bitch to try to turn his supposed friend against her. There's this happy flute in the background that sounds really odd with this deeply nasty song. Also, nastiness should be more interesting than this. It's both mean and boring.

Elton John – “Island Girl” -- November 1, 1975

Did Elton John start all his songs with the same chords? I feel like he did. This doesn't sound like an island song. It sounds like an ad jingle. A racist, sexist ad jingle. Ha-ha isn't it funny that a woman is tall and dark-skinned. The song calls her a "well-worn tire." So, so bad.

KC & The Sunshine Band – “That’s The Way (I Like It)” -- November 22, 1975

I have never understood any lyrics to this song but the chorus, or been curious enough to look them up. I just did. There are very few lyrics in this song besides the chorus, but yep, it's about sex. It's another KC & The Sunshine Band dance song that's great for dancing, and not really meant for anything else.

Silver Convention – “Fly, Robin, Fly” -- November 29, 1975

"Fly, robin, fly/ Up up to the sky" are the lyrics to this song. Over and over again. It's plastic Euro-disco and it is bad. Not danceable, no reason to listen to it, no reason for it to exist. I can only think that large amounts of cocaine were involved in this becoming a hit.

The Staple Singers – “Let’s Do It Again” -- December 27, 1975

It's another sleepy sex song, but this one is by a band with three sisters and their father. Their father sings on this track too. Apparently he didn't want to, and I wish he'd stuck by that, because ew.

BEST OF 1975 -- "Lady Marmalade" by LaBelle and "Shining Star" by Earth, Wind and Fire WORST OF 1975 -- "Island Girl" by Elton John

#billboard number ones

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photolover82 · 4 years

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The Masked Singer Season 3 Episode 3: Group A Championships (Commentary and Guesses)

Hello my fellow Masked Singer fans. Welcome to my commentary on yesterday’s episode of the Masked Singer, the last episode featuring Group A, the Group A Championships. Here, 4 singers perform to compete for the top 3 spots that will compete with the “super 9,” or the top 9 out of 18 total celebrities performing. That means that next week we get to meet 6 new contestants, which I am so excited about, since I am already bored with Group A since I am positive I know who everybody is. Ok so let’s begin..

Firstly, like always I gotta warn you that this is a ***SPOILER ALERT*** so if you haven’t seen it and you don’t want spoils, skip this post...

Ok now that they’re gone... Let’s reveal who got eliminated/unmasked

*DRUMROLL PLEASE*

The celebrity mask that had to go home/be revealed was....

MISS MONSTER

Ok before I reveal who Miss Monster is, I gotta say I am pretty pissed at this elimination. She really didn’t deserve to be unmasked like there are masks (*cough* *cough* White Tiger *cough* *cough*) that aren’t as good as her, but I can’t say I didn’t see it coming. They kept saying an “icon” was going home so I kind of figured this would happen even though I was crossing my fingers that someone else (White Tiger) went home instead.

Anyways, she was revealed to be *SPOILER*

CHAKA KHAN!!

Bitch, I guessed it! This one made me super happy that I got it right, just how I got Patti LaBelle right last season (peep my previous posts for proof). The current clues made sense with my reasoning:

For this set of clues, they brought in the celebrities’ friends and family members, disguised as well and with Chaka they brought her hairstylist and she is known big time for her hair.

Also, she is from Chicago and in the clue package, there was white socks (Chicago White Sox), a teddy bear (Chicago Bears), and Pizza (deep dish)

There was also camouflage, which was the name of one of her albums.

Also, they had a physical clue which was a Valentine to one of the judges describing a connection they have with one of them and Chaka’s was to Robin Thicke, who she performed with in Las Vegas in 2009. In the card, it said that they had a rendezvous in Sin City.

As for my commentary on her performance, she sang You Don’t Own Me and I really enjoyed it. However, I do feel like she could have chosen a better song and she was holding her voice back from belting out the notes of the song. Overall, though, I really liked her performance a lot, but it wasn’t my favorite.

Having said that, let’s start with the 3 contestants who are still masked and made it through to the “Super 9:”

1. The Turtle

Performance: I cannot stress enough, Turtle is my favorite contestant so far. I love him so much. He sang Shawn Mendes’s “There’s Nothing Holdin’ Me Back.” It was such an amazing performance, it reminded me of the Fox with the fantastic dance moves. I was super impressed by his dance moves, it was literally my favorite performance of the entire night. I think I am in love with the guy in a turtle costume, who I think is...

JESSE MCCARTNEY

The clues make sense to why I think so:

The friend/family that was in the turtle’s clue package was a former teacher. While she was talking, there was a board with greek letters and he did act in the show Greek, an ABC show about college greek life.

There was also a map with Seoul, South Korea pinned and that could be a reference to Beautiful Soul, his smash hit song.

As for the Valentine card, he addressed it to Nichole saying that they had a great morning together, which could mean so much. Well, looking into it, him and Nichole performed at the Today Show together with Katy Perry and the rest of the Pussy Cat Dolls in 2008.

2. The Kangaroo

Performance: Ok so Kangaroo’s performance this time didn’t compare to her last one. She sang Diamonds by Rihanna and it was good don’t get me wrong, but I preferred the performance from last week. She is a really good vocalist, but not my favorite performance of hers. Having said that, I think the kangaroo is...

JORDYN WOODS

Here’s why according to the clues:

In the clue package, the family member was her younger brother (she has 3 siblings she is very close to so makes sense).

The Valentine’s card she gave was to Leah Remini, the guest judge, and it said that they shared a table, more specifically the Red Table Talk with Jada Pickett Smith. They were both there, Jordyn in November 2018 and Leah in March 2019.

3. The White Tiger

Performance: Alright, so I don’t even know how in the living hell this guy is still in the competition? Like yes, he’s entertaining (and wow I sound really critical and mean but like I am kind of salty about this elimination and him not being the one to leave), but he isn’t as good of a singer as the other contestants at all. He doesn’t even compare to Miss Monster. His performance didn’t hold a candle to Miss Monster, so he should have left. Anyways, having said that, I believe that the White Tiger is...

ROB GRONKOWSKI

This is why I think so aka the clues:

In the clue package, a college buddy of his got interviewed. While he was talking, there was a quarter being flipped like is done in football.

Also, the Valentine was to judge Jenny McCarthy and he said “your husband will like it better.” Jenny’s husband, Donnie Wahlberg is a huge Patriots fan and loves Gronk.

#TheMaskedSinger #the masked singer season 3 #chaka khan

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fingerrate9-blog · 5 years

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The Bear’s Den, April 1, 2019

BEAR DOWN, CHICAGO BEARS, BEAR DOWN!!!!

BEARRRSSSS / FREE AGENCY / DRAFT

Talarico: Dear Jordan Howard, Thank You - Chicago Audible Blog - Thank you, Jordan Howard. The impression you made over your short stay in Chicago won’t be forgotten.

Stankeviz: Recent history shows how Jordan Howard trade could benefit Bears - NBC Sports Chicago - The Bears let a seemingly-important part of their offense go a year ago and were better off for it.

Sikes: Bears Among Teams Most Interested In Utah’s K Matt Gay - Club Dub Bears Blog - The Bears were present at Utah’s pro day on Thursday and are one of the most interested teams in kicker Matt Gay. Three kickers have a good shot at getting drafted this year in LSU’s Cole Tracy, Oklahoma’ Austin Seibert and Utah’s Matt Gay. Bears GM Ryan Pace has stated that he would a kicker with a big legs which is exactly what made Chris Blewitt stand out at tryouts and eventually lead to him getting a contract.

Sikes: Bears Have Met With Speedy UNLV RB Lexington Thomas - Club Dub Bears Blog - The Bears are going to be meeting with several running backs right up until the draft now that Jordan Howard has moved on from the team. I would expect that RB will be one of the first picks if not THE first pick used by Bears GM Ryan Pace. The team had Ohio State RB Mike Weber in town last week for a workout.

Sikes: Projecting The Bears 53 Man Roster Post Howard Trade - Club Dub Bears Blog - Now that the free agency frenzy has calmed down a bit and Jordan Howard has been traded, let’s take a look at what the projected 53 man roster might look like:

Easterling: Best small-school prospects in the 2019 NFL draft - Draft Wire - Check out some of the top small-school prospects in the 2019 NFL draft

Price: NFL odds 2019 - Bears tied for 6th-highest win total projection - Sun Times - Only the Patriots, Chiefs, Rams, Saints and Chargers have higher win total projections from sportsbook CG Technology.

Jahns: Bears eyed nickel back Buster Skrine four years ago; now they've got him - Sun Times - The Bears signed Skrine this month to replace Bryce Callahan at nickel back.

POLISH SAUSAGE

Four offseason programs get underway this week – ProFootballTalk - Free agency and the league meetings have been the focus for the last couple of weeks, but we’ll move into another stage of the offseason this week. Teams that hired a new head coach this year are permitted to start their offseason programs on April 1 and half of the teams that made coaching chang...

Four-round 2019 NFL mock draft: Raiders, Fins trade up for QBs - NFL.com - Chad Reuter goes four rounds deep in his mock draft 4.0. He projects the Cardinals, Raiders, Dolphins, Giants, Redskins, Patriots and Broncos to pick QBs, with a couple of those teams trading up for signal-callers in Round 1.

KNOW THY ENEMY

What position have the Detroit Lions improved the most this offseason? - Pride Of Detroit - Earlier in the week, we revealed our FanPulse poll results regarding the Detroit Lions free agency period. According to 100 percent of Lions fans, the team has already gotten better through free...

Which remaining FA running back should the Detroit Lions sign? - Pride Of Detroit - The free agent RB market is still pretty good.

How much would you pay to sit in the Vikings “War Room” on draft day? - Daily Norseman - Because, apparently, it isn’t cheap

NFC North in Free Agency: Bears swapped defensive backs, added top kick returner - Acme Packing Company - Let’s take a look at the signings the Chicago Bears made in free agency this offseason.

IN CASE YOU MISSED IT ON WINDY CITY GRIDIRON

Householder: Vegas sets Chicago Bears 2019 season win total over/under - Windy City Gridiron - CG Technology released their early win totals for NFL teams and the Bears number is curious.

Infante's 2019 NFL Draft: Evaluating kicker prospects the Bears could target - Windy City Gridiron - The Bears are expected to take the younger route for their kicker position, so let’s take a look at what some of the top kickers in the draft have to offer.

Wiltfong: Do you understand why the Bears traded Jordan Howard? - Windy City Gridiron - Now that we’ve had a chance to take a breath after the big trade, what are your thoughts on the move?

Duerrwaechter: Paving lanes and toting pigskin; making sense of the trade and the Bears’ new plan at runningback - Windy City Gridiron - Jordan Howard was a good player and an even greater person with the Chicago Bears. Matt Nagy is looking for something better in his vision.

Whiskey Ranger’s WCG Quick Dive - Missing Person: Jordan Howard - Chicago Bears Film Study - YouTube - In this video, I dive into the seeming disappearance of Chicago Bears Running Back Jordan Howard, and try to figure out where he’s gone, and who or what’s to blame for his disappearance. The Video Quick Dive series is part NFL film study, and part video essay covering topics related to the Chicago Bears and the NFL in general. Ken’s Note: This is just a great video, and it worth revisiting.

WCG CONTRIBUTORS BEARS PODCASTS & STREAMS

2 Minute Drill - Website - iTunes - Andrew Link; Steven’s Streaming – Twitch – Steven Schweickert; T-Formation Conversation - Website - iTunes - Lester Wiltfong, Jr.; WCG Radio - Website - iTunes - Robert Zeglinski - The Blitz Network

THE RULES

Windy City Gridiron Community Guidelines - SBNation.com - We strive to make our communities open and inclusive to sports fans of all backgrounds. The following is not permitted in comments. No personal attacks, politics, gender based insults of any kind, racial insults, etc.

The Bear’s Den Specific Guidelines – The Bear’s Den is a place for Chicago Bears fans to discuss Chicago Bears football, related NFL stories, and general football talk. It is NOT a place to discuss religion or politics or post political pictures or memes. Unless otherwise stated, the Den is not an open thread, and profanity (including profanity only stated in pictures) is prohibited.

Click on our names to follow us on Twitter:

WCG Contributors: Jeff Berckes; Patti Curl; Eric Christopher Duerrwaechter; Kev H; Sam Householder; Jacob Infante; Aaron Lemming; Ken Mitchell; Steven Schweickert; Jack Silverstein; EJ Snyder; Lester Wiltfong, Jr.; Whiskey Ranger; Robert Schmitz; Robert Zeglinski; Like us on Facebook.

Source: https://www.windycitygridiron.com/2019/4/1/18289978/chicago-bears-free-agency-draft-mocks-offseason-second-wave-pace-nagy-jordan-howard-trade-info

#read more #see more #check it out #interesting #learn more

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hypnofur1 · 7 years

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What’s Hypno’d In Vegas – Stays In Vegas. By Hypnofur

I walked into the kitchen, and as always I was delighted to see my wife’s beautiful smiling face. I was less delighted, to see that she was preparing some food. It was day three of my vegetarian New Years Resolution. I was not loving it. I don’t even know what she was making, I just knew it didn’t have meat in it, and it probably tasted like play-dough.

“Hey Babe!’ she said to me, really cheery. I knew she was being this cheery because she wanted the vegetarian thing to be a positive experience. I knew she wanted the vegetarian thing to be a positive experience because she wanted me to lose weight. I’m a big guy, not fat, but I used to be ripped. I was a linebacker at UNC. Over the years, the steaks and sausages have caught up with me a little bit. Really not a lot. I’m still in way better shape than most 37 year old guys. Kelsea, my wife, was a fitness nut though. Her 37 year old body was comparable to a 25 year old. She sort of had to be that way, as she was on TV. She did the morning weather here on the Raleigh NBC affiliate.

“Hey babe. What are you making?” I asked, getting to the point.

“Well, I have good news and bad news. Which do you want first?” she answered.

Oh shit. “The bad news” I answered.

“Ok, this are soy-corn patties, and even I have found them a little… well, they are an acquired taste.” She told me.

Visions of sneaking out to Wendys when she fell asleep dashed through my head. “Ok, those sound great”, I answered sarcastically, “What’s the good news?”

“You’ll get the weekend off from your resolution” she said with a beaming smile. I liked the sound of that.

“Awesome, why?” I asked. I didn’t think resolutions took weekends off. Not that I was complaining.

“Because we are going to Vegas!!!!!” she said with a bounce and a jump.

“Vegas? What?” I asked, happy, but confused.

“Well, a guy that knew me back in college got in touch with the station and offered me a free weekend getaway if I reviewed his show!” she said. “Dan, this is like an assignment!!!’ she squealed. Kelsea had always wanted to move from the pigeon hole of weather reporting to do some other types of reporting. She really wanted to be on the Today show, or Good Morning America or something, but at 37, her window was closing, even with her looks.

I knew how much this meant to her, even though I really didn’t want to go to Vegas. I had been there once, it just wasn’t my kind of place. I was a good husband though, and I loved her more than anything, so I acted thrilled. After a long hug and telling her how proud I was of her, I admitted I had a few questions.

“So, first, not that I’m complaining, but how does going to Vegas get me out of my resolution?” I asked.

“You’ve heard… what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. City of sin, etc. I’m not going to try to keep you from steaks while we are there. You can get back on it when we get home!” she said with a smile as she gave me a kiss. Unfortunately, she went back to preparing the soy-corn grossness that we were apparently still going to eat for dinner.

“Ok, I liked the answer to question #1, let’s see if I like question #2. This guy you knew at UNC, was he like a boyfriend or something?” I asked. We both graduated the same year, but we didn’t know each other back in school. We met after college.

“No, god no” she said, intimating that he was less than attractive.

It suddenly occurred to me, ‘show’ – ‘Vegas”. Maybe he was gay? “Is this like a drag queen kind of show?” I asked.

“No, he’s a stage hypnotist. I guess he’s been doing it for a while. He finally booked his own theater. I guess that is a big deal out there. If you can get one of the casinos to give you your own theater and make you an every night act, that’s like the big time.” She explained.

“Well, sounds like you are on the way to the big time as well, Mrs. Martin!” I said to her, grabbing her by the waist and picking her up in the air.

She squealed. “Mr. Martin, if you pull me away from the soy-corn patties, we might miss dinner!” she said with a laugh.

We made love in the kitchen.

This, by the way, was a Wednesday. That meant it was less than 48 hours until we took off. Even less, considering that the show we were scheduled to see was the Friday night one. That meant we had to be on a flight Friday morning. I run my own excavation company, so I was able to move some things around, but the rest of the time between that romp in the kitchen and the point we boarded the plane was hectic to say the least.

We didn’t even have a chance to chat too much about the whole thing until we were in flight.

“First class. Well, this didn’t come from Channel 4.” I said as we toasted our champagne glasses.

“Ha! No. This was part of Milton’s package I guess.” Kelsea said.

“His name is Milton?”

“yes, Milton Snigleton.” She said. “Don’t laugh” she added.

“What? Milton Snigleton is a good name.” I said with a smile. “Maybe that’s why he became a hypnotist, so he could hypnotize people into thinking his name was Joe or Tom”

“Oh, that’s a good question. What made him decide to be a hypnotist?” Kelsea said as she typed that question into the notes app of her iphone. “By the way, he did change his name. He goes by Braxton Blaze as a stage name.”

“Jeez, that’s almost worse. So you are going to interview him as well?”

“Yeah, I’m doing a whole little piece on the show. The station will use it as a filler segment sometime during the year.”

“Cool, so are you going to go up and try to get hypnotized?” I asked.

“Actually, I wanted to talk to you about that” she said, in her ‘you probably won’t like this’ tone.

“I kind of need you to go up” she said sheepishly, batting her big brown eyes at me.

“What? Why?”

“Well, two reasons, but one main reason. I sort of am easily hypnotized. So, if I go onstage and get hypnotized, I won’t be able to take notes on the show. ” She said.

“You are easily hypnotized? How do you even know that?”

“Well, it’s happened, twice actually. When I was a freshman I got hypnotized on stage at orientation. It took me a long time to live that one down. Secondly, when we covered hypnosis in psych 101, the teacher tried to hypnotize us. I went under then too. I guess I’m just a really good subject.”

“So, you are telling me that I could have hypnotized you years ago to get you to do funky stuff in the bedroom?” I asked playfully.

“I don’t think you are a trained hypnotist buddy. The professor of the Psych class supposedly was. Oh, by the way, that is where I know Milton from. He was the teaching assistant in Psych 101.”

“So, you haven’t seen this guy since you were a freshman in college?” I asked.

“Well, senior. I took psych 101 late. I had taken another Psych at the community college I went to before UNC, but somehow they lost the records or something, so I had to take it again. But, no, I haven’t seen him since college. We weren’t like friends really.”

“What does this dude look like?” I asked. I just wanted to make sure he wasn’t a dashing vegetarian with six pack abs or something. Kelsea had an image on her phone, from the pre interview research she had been doing. The guy was not attractive. He had a big nose, fake hair, and he seemed to be very short. I made a joke about his appearance. Kelsea fake hit me.

“Be nice. He is flying you out here first class and put you up in a really nice suite in a hotel”.

I smiled at her and realized she was right. We were getting a free little get away vacation here. I decided to enjoy it. Besides, I was off the hook for my New Year’s Resolution for the weekend as well.

EIGHT HOURS LATER

“I can’t believe this room” I said as I toured the penthouse suite we had been comped. It had a living room area, separate bedroom, the works. “This place is amazing. Maybe I should let you off the hook for making me do that. I still feel like an idiot though Kels” I yelled to Kelsea who was getting into her swimsuit in the bathroom.

“I told you, I’m super susceptible too. I almost went under myself. My eyes were closed and everything. If the lady next to me hadn’t grabbed me, I would have been in the same boat as you. I was actually walking towards the stage in a trance” She said from behind the door.

“Well, falling into a trance for a few seconds and being made the laughing stock of a room of two hundred or so people are two very different things.” I reminded her. Yes, I had agreed to go on stage, but I never thought in a million years that it would work. I was embarrassed, and I hoped that Kelsea didn’t think less of me.

“I have to hand it to him, he is good. His voice is just so… well, I’m sure that’s why he does what he does now” Kelsea said as she came out of the bathroom. She looked amazing in her bikini. She laughed as she saw my cock start to grow beneath my bathing suit a bit.

“Shall we try out the hot tub?” I invited. The suite had a beautiful hot tub that was off in its own little section. There was a gorgeous stone surround, and a cool inset chandelier above it. Sconces with candles hung on the stone walls, all of which I had lit while Kelsea was getting into her swimsuit. I figured the candlelight would help set the mood. I was quite excited to enjoy some private time in the hot tub with her.

Which is why I was so annoyed when I heard a knock at the door. “Shit!” I exclaimed.

“Just get it. I’m sure it is just a hotel person who has the wrong room. Might want to put something over your tent though!” she laughed.

I threw on my shirt and opened the door. It was Milton Snigleton. What the hell was he doing here.

“Oh, uh Hi Milton.” I said.

“Hello Dan” he said, offering out his hand. I reached out to shake it, not wanting him here, but not wanting to be rude either. As soon as he grabbed my hand, everything went blank.

Next thing I knew, he was standing inside the room with me and the door was closed. He looked different than he had during the show or in his pictures. He seemed imposing, intimidating. I mean, yes, I had almost a full foot and 40-50 lbs on him, but there was just something about him that was kind of intimidating. I was a little scared of him.

“Everything ok over there?” I heard Kelsea yell from the hot tub area.

“Yes, Braxton Blaze is here for his interview with you” I shouted back to her. What? Why did I say that.

“Let’s go see her” Mr. Blaze suggested. Suddenly I was leading him back to my bikini clad wife.

“Honey, Mr. Blaze is here for the interview.” I said politely.

Kelsea was shocked, she started looking for a robe to cover up.

“Please, Kelsea, this is Las Vegas. Your suit is beautiful, and is what would be considered modest and conservative here in Sin City. I assure, there is no need to cover up” Mr. Blaze said.

Unable to find a robe anyway, Kelsea seemed to resign herself to hanging out in a bathing suit with an almost stranger. “I’m sorry Milton I didn’t know we were meeting for the interview tonight. At this late hour” she said, hoping he’d get the point.

“I’m terribly sorry Kelsea, my assistant was supposed to notify you. She’s not very effective unfortunately, I’ve been thinking of replacing her. I’m afraid this evening was the only time that I am available during your stay for the interview. I’m off to a private event all day tomorrow and Sunday.” he explained.

“We were about to hop in the hot tub. Would you like to join us? You two could talk in there” I suggested. What the fuck? Did I really say that? Holy shit, I sounded like I meant it. Did I? What the fuck was going on.

Kelsea looked at me with the same surprise in her eyes that I had in my mind. Mr. Blaze wasted no time in accepting my invitation though. He said that the hotel usually keeps extra swimsuits in the hotel closet. Sure enough, he found one in there that was his size. He went into the bathroom to change.

Kelsea immediately came over to me and whispered “Dan, what the hell, this is so weird!!”

I wanted to say “I agree, I’ll throw the weirdo out!” But instead, I heard myself say “It’s not that weird babe, this was the only time he was available. Besides, this is Vegas, the cultural is a little different here.”

With me being ok with it, Kelsea seemed to relax a little bit. Holy shit, why was I helping this happen?

Milton came out of the bathroom. When he did, I actually said, “Shall we?” and led us all into the tub.

Kelsea was still pretty uptight when we were in hot tub. I couldn’t blame her, I was too… on the inside at least. Making the best of it, she started in with the interview. “So Milton, what first got you interested in hypnosis?”

As soon as she said the word ‘hypnosis’ I got a flash of what she must look like hypnotized. Eyes closed, totally relaxed look on her face. I bet she looked beautiful like that.

Mr. Blaze smiled as he started to answer her question. “Actually Kelsea, it was while we were in the Psych class where we first met. I found the power that Professor Collins had over all of your minds to be fascinating.”

Kelsea seemed almost a little embarrassed by that. I found myself wishing I had taken that class with her back at UNC. I’d love to see Kelsea hypnotized in her class. That must have been hot.

“Have you been hypnotized since then?” Mr. Blaze asked.

“No, I can’t say that I have. Well, I guess I was a little bit tonight during your group induction. The lady next to me woke me up though” Kelsea said with a laugh. It was her nervous laugh.

“Yes, I saw that. I almost had her thrown out of the theater!” Mr. Blaze said with his own laugh. I found myself laughing at that too. I was laughing loudly, supportively.

“Well, you should really consider it Kelsea. You are an amazing hypnotic subject, and it could really help you in your life. Are there any bad habits you would like to kick?”

“Not really” Kelsea said quickly.

“Biting her nails!” I blurted out. “She’s always wanted to stop biting her nails, because the station people get mad at her. They want her to have pretty nails for when she points at the map.” I said. Now I was torn, I still couldn’t believe I was facilitating this whole situation, but another part of me really wanted to see her hypnotized. I had always wanted to see that so badly, and the conversation was starting to point in that direction. I had to seize this opportunity to fulfill my lifelong desire of seeing her hypnotized.

Wait, lifelong desire of seeing her hypnotized? I seriously hadn’t thought about hypnosis for more than like two minutes in my entire life before two days ago. What the hell? Things were so confusing, and moving so fast.

“I could help you with that” Mr. Blaze said, before giving me a look.

“Yes! Kels, let him hypnotize you! I’d love to see it!” I almost shouted. “Besides, I’m right here, it’s cool. Besides, what better way to report on your story.”

Kelsea gave me a ‘what are you doing look’, but relented. “Ok. I guess” she said.

“I promise that you’ll find it a wonderful experience. Now, since this is going to be therapy based, and not entertainment based like my stage show, I’d like to use a slightly different induction. Kelsea, and Dan, if you are comfortable with it, my induction will include a shoulder massage. Is that alright for you?” Mr. Blaze asked politely.

“Yes, that’s totally fine!” I piped up quickly. I didn’t love the idea of him touching her, but it was worth it to see her hypnotized. Kelsea gave me a glare, but then slid along the bench to sit next to Mr. Blaze, with her back to him. Mr. Blaze put his hands on her shoulders, and started massaging with his thumbs. I watched like a hawk, making sure that he didn't defile her with his touch, but also to make sure that I didn’t miss any parts of her slipping under hypnosis. "Oh man, this is does feel good," Kelsea sighed deeply. I wasn’t sure if she was being polite or she meant it "Yess Kelsea, I’m quite skilled at what I do. Just relax and enjoy it. Your husband is here. You are safe. Safe to just relax, enjoy the massage, and watch the bubbles rising to the surface and floating away. See the candle lights reflecting in the bubbles. See the bubbles rising and floating. Just relax and hear only the sound of my voice as you watch the bubbles rising and floating” This went on for a few minutes. Mr. Blaze's hands massaged other areas, but everything remained above board, and I didn't want to look like a jealous husband. Kelsea seemed to be enjoying herself, letting out a sigh here and there, whenever Mr. Blaze really dug his fingers in. She was totally zoning out. Her face looked so relaxed, so beautiful as she seemed to be succumbing to his hypnotic induction. God she looked so hot hypnotized. I had always wanted to see this. I was sort of lost in the beauty of watching her in a trance when all of a sudden Mr. Blaze tugged at the string on the back of Kelsea's bikini. The bow that held the back of the piece together unraveled, and the fabric fell away. "Rising and floating," he continued, not missing a beat Mr. Blaze, "Floating into trance for me." "What are you doing?" I asked, sternly. A massage and a trance was one thing, but undressing my wife was quite another.

"Relax, Dan. You don’t mind seeing her like this. It just makes it sexier. You’ve always wanted to see her topless while hypnotized. " he told me.

That was true, I had always wanted to see her topless while hypnotized. But wait, she wouldn’t want this. It was all going too far. She was my wife. I had to make sure she was ok with this. "Kelsea?" I tried calling out. "She’s very relaxed right now Dan, and totally ok with everything that is happening. In fact, she’s never felt more relaxed than she does right now in this warm water, feeling my strong touch, as she watches the bubbles rising and floating. She’s watching them rising and floating as she hears only the sound of my voice as it helps her float into a state of deep hypnosis.” I sat there, transfixed. On the one hand, I really didn't like what Mr. Blaze was doing, but on the other, I so desperately wanted to see her topless while hypnotized. Mr. Blaze couldn't see Kelsea's breasts from his angle, and it's not like I wasn't here. I watched Mr. Blaze work his hands lower down her back. Kelsea's nipples hardened visibly, but that was probably just because of the cool air. But then things went to the next level. His hands slowly reached around her side, as if in slow motion, and wrapped around her breasts. He told me to do nothing. I wanted to protest, but my throat constricted, and I couldn't produce a sound. I wanted to intervene, but my muscles didn't seem to respond.

The things he was telling her changed in tone. His words shifted from talk about ‘relaxing’ and ‘floating’ to things like ‘arousal’ and submission. He was telling her how sexy she felt, and how attractive and powerful he was. Mr. Blaze squeezed Kelsea's breasts, and pinched her nipples between thumb and forefinger. Surely she would freak out at any second now, and tell him what he was doing was wrong. This inappropriate sexual touching should be enough to wake her from her trance, right? No such thing happened, though. Her eyes were closed. Her mouth was open. She breathed deeply. Her chest expanded with every intake of air. My hands felt clammy all of a sudden, even though they were submerged in the hot water. God, she looked so hot hypnotized. Why did I love that so much? Paralyzed in place, I watched one of Mr. Blaze's hands trail down my wife stomach, and disappear in the bubbly water. Kelsea gasped, and I could just make out the silhouette of his arm pointing down toward her crotch beneath the swirling water. Mr. Blaze leaned forward, and nuzzled her neck. His arm was rapidly gyrating back and forth, and Kelsea was actually moaning. His other hand kept playing with her tits, alternating attention between each nipple. What the hell was happening? An evil hypnotist was fingering my wife right in front of me, and I couldn't seem to bring myself to stop him. Worse still, Kelsea seemed to be enjoying herself—immensely. It only took a minute or two—much, much faster than I ever managed to—before Kelsea's back arched, and with a wordless scream, her whole body shuddered. Mr. Blaze's arm kept moving the entire time, and it seemed to take forever for Kelsea's scream to die down and her body to slump limply against the wall of the tub. “How did that feel Kelsea?” he asked her.

"Oh god," sighed Kelsea, her face a mask of ecstasy. "I've never orgasmed that hard before."

My heart broke at that comment. It seemed to embolden Mr. Blaze though. I saw a flash of something in his eyes. Was it anger? Dominance?

“Dan and Kelsea. You realize now that I am the most powerful, sexual man you have ever encountered. No one is as virile or sexual as I am. You both feel my power over you. You will both submit to my power!” he said with a grunt as he sat up on the rim of the tub. His cock was only semi erect, but seemed larger than mine, even though it wasn’t. Kelsea was still slumped against the wall, recovering from her orgasm, letting his words soak into her hypnotized mind. Mr. Blaze grabbed her ponytail, and roughly pulled her face toward his crotch.

“Please me Kelsea. I am a sexual, hypnotic love god, and you want nothing more than to please me. It turns you on so much, you’ve never been this turned on in your life.” He said. Kelsea reacted instinctively, and wrapped her lips around his cock. I couldn't look away, as Mr. Blaze enjoyed my wife’s very attentive blow job. It was impossible not to notice the passion and enjoyment in her oral play. Mr. Blaze seemed to relax a bit. That’s when he came clean with an admission.

“You asked me what first got me interested in hypnosis Kelsea. Truth be told, it was you. I was at the hypno show your freshman year when you went under on stage. I was immediately taken with you and the idea of having you hypnotized. When I became a TA, I used my power to delete your community college class from the system, forcing you to take Psych 101. I knew Professor Collins covered hypnosis in detail, and I wanted to see you go under one more time. I spent the next fifteen years honing my craft, just waiting for the day I could make you mine Kelsea. For fifteen years I’ve waited for this, for you.” He said before I saw that flash of dominance in his eye again. “Tonight I make you mine!” Still holding her by the ponytail, Mr. Blaze pulled Kelsea to her feet, and then ripped off her bikini bottom with such force the strings on the side snapped. Her nude, wet body was exposed to the world, and just between her legs I could see the dark patch of pubic hair I loved so much. Mr. Blaze must have pulled on her hair, because she stumbled backwards, and thumped against his chest, knees bent, her crotch just above Mr. Blaze's cock. Mr. Blaze grabbed her thighs, his hands nearly circling around them, and spread her legs—wide. Her labia were still red and puffy from the intense fingering, and a small rivulet of juices ran out of her spread pussy, dripping down into the water. I had never seen her so wet before. Mr. Blaze's small biceps bulged, and he lifted her up, guiding the entrance of her hole over his cock. Kelsea reached down, and pushed the head into her. I watched in horror as it sank in between the folds, and disappeared inside her. Spread eagled, Kelsea slowly descended as his rock hard dick pushed into her. Kelsea let out a moan, her face a portrait of pleasure. I blinked, and a tear rolled down my cheek. Kelsea kept breathing faster and faster. Still unable to find the strength to resist his command and move my leaden limbs, I watched as Kelsea came to rest at the base of Mr. Blaze's cock. I hated seeing the woman I loved impaled on a stranger's cock. That was supposed to be something reserved only for me. "Oh, oh, oh, oooooooooh..." Kelsea screamed with eyes closed, and for the second time that night, her whole body shook with euphoria, while she was squeezing her own nipples. Seemingly without caring about her state of mind, Mr. Blaze lifted her up again. Kelsea's shrieking intensified, and it looked like her legs were struggling to break free, but Mr. Blaze's iron grip held them steadfast—still spread wide apart. He started thrusting with his hips, and his balls swung back and forth, while his rod plunged in and out of my wife's pussy, squelching loudly with every thrust.

Looking at me cruelly, he said. “Watching me take Kelsea is the hottest thing you’ve ever seen Dan!” Against all logical reasoning, my body betrayed me once again. My own penis stirred in my trunks, and the fabric soon pressed against my erection. I looked down, and sure enough, there was a noticeable bulge. Despite the fact that I was watching something that should have been mine, and only mine, taken away right in front of my eyes.

“This is better sex than you’ve ever known. I am a sexual god. I control you. You serve me. You will do what I say. You will obey me!” Mr. Blaze said. I’m not sure if he was talking to Kelsea, me, or just saying things that got him going. Then, with a guttural grunt, Mr. Blaze's body flexed, and with one final, deep thrust, he pumped his seed into my wife. Kelsea was laughing breathlessly, hands rubbing all over her body, still impaled on his dick. Mr. Blaze hoisted her off his pole, and carelessly dropped her into the tub. Kelsea stumbled forward, and crashed into me. As if the spell had finally been broken, I reached out and caught her in my arms. She was burning hot to the touch, despite the coolness of the air. Kelsea kissed me, fiercely and passionately, shoving her tongue aggressively into my mouth, with the ferocity of a hungry lioness on the verge of starvation. She broke the kiss, and then opened her eyes to look at me. Her beautiful, brown eyes were fixed at some point off in the distance, her mouth was slightly parted, as if she wasn't really looking at me, but was lost in a delirium of her own. "Oh god, Dan, you have no idea how amazing that felt. I never knew sex could feel so good." Her words cut deeply into me, and I blinked away another tear, but Kelsea was too far gone in a world of her own to notice. Mr. Blaze chuckled as he left the hot tub and went into the suite part of the room. Just before he disappeared from veiw, he turned around, and said authoritatively, "Kelsea follow me." I was speechless, and held on to my wife for dear life. Kelsea extricated herself effortlessly, and stepped out of the pool. Before she could take a single step, her legs wobbled and gave out, and she fell down on the ground. "Kelsea, you ok?" I asked, concerned, but urgent. "Come back in the water, we need to talk about what just happened!" "I must go with him Dan." She tried to get up again, but her legs faltered once more, so she simply got up on all fours, and started crawling towards the door. With her wet ass pointed straight at me, I watched her disappear, all the while Mr. Blaze's creamy white cum dripped out of her. Then I was alone. I sat there, stunned. I had just watched the love of my life being savagely fucked by another man—hypnotized and under his control—right in front of my eyes, and I had been unable to stop them. My dick twitched at that moment, as if to remind me that I had also gotten hard watching Mr. Blaze's hypnotic cock pump my wife full of cum. Despite all of that, I still loved her. I couldn't imagine what my life would be like without her. Without seeing that cute face look at me when I woke up in the morning. Without feeling her soft body press against me, and her tender lips on mine when I came home every day. Without the smile on her face when she made gross vegetarian food in the kitchen. Without the smell of her essence lingering in every room of the house.

After a few minutes, I managed to muster up all my remaining strength, determined not to lose her. I found the strength to break the hypnotic spell I was under. From the suite area, I heard a squel that sounded like it came from Kelsea. Wet puddles trailed on the ground where she had crawled, leading all the way to the kitchenette. The sound of meat slapping on meat was audible long before I turned the corner, and saw Kelsea bent over the kitchen counter, with Mr. Blaze standing behind her, thrusting like a madman. "thank you sir, thank you sir, thank you sir," moaned Kelsea, over and over. I gripped the doorframe for support, and watched in helpless terror as Mr. Blaze continued pumping. He looked over at me.

“You are under my power Dan. You love seeing me in hypnotic control of Kelsea. You find it so sexy. You can’t resist this. Sit in that chair and think about how much you love seeing her under my hypnotic control! Once you jerk off, I want you to slip into a deep sleep.”

What? That couldn’t be right. I wanted to tell him to go to hell and never come back, but was unable to get out as much as a peep. I sat down in the chair as he directed. Mr. Blaze grabbed Kelsea's arm, and brought her towards the bedroom. She stumbled after him, and never even so much as looked at me in passing. With a click, the bedroom door closed behind them. I sat in the chair as my mind was still reeling from the emotional devastation and inner turmoil. Why was it so sexy to see her under his hypnotic control??

I could hear Kelsea's screams through the thin walls, and wondered how Mr. Blaze was pleasuring her at that moment to produce the kinds of noises she was making. Once again, my penis hardened. I pulled down my trunks, and started stroking myself. In my mind, I pictured Mr. Blaze's hard cock sliding in and out of Kelsea, and the intense pleasure visible on her face as he took her deeper into hypnosis. Still listening to my wife's screams of ecstasy from the bedroom, I came, cumming over my stomach. After climaxing, I felt absolutely exhausted, and drifted off into sleep, just as Kelsea started another round of loud moans. *** That was a year ago. Kelsea has not left Vegas since. I did. I went back and packed up our stuff. She quit the station of course, and has become Mr. Blaze’s personal assistant, both on stage on off. Mr. Blaze had me move to Henderson. He didn’t want me in North Carolina, as my life without Kelsea there would raise too many questions.

Even though Kelsea has been living with Mr. Blaze since that night, and introduces herself as Kelsea Blaze, we are only now starting the process of getting a divorce. I’ve been instructed to slowly start telling my connections back in North Carolina that there is “trouble at home”. Understatement of the year.

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niccongo0-blog · 5 years

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The Bear’s Den, June 3, 2019

BEAR DOWN, CHICAGO BEARS, BEAR DOWN!!!!

BEARRRSSSS / FREE AGENCY / DRAFT

The Bears Are About to Pick Up a Cool $1 Million in Salary Cap Space - Bleacher Nation - Nothing like having an extra million bucks in available cap space!

Gabriel: Assessing Bears’ OLB Situation - 670 The Score - The Bears’ starting outside linebacker pairing is as good as any in the NFL, but the team could use more depth at the position.

Mayer: Daniels easing into new role at ‘natural’ position - ChicagoBears.com - James Daniels’ move from left guard to center this offseason has been a smooth one so far for the second-year pro, who has returned to the position he played his final two seasons at Iowa.

Quick hits: Burton recovering from surgery - ChicagoBears.com - The Bears are hopeful that tight end Trey Burton will return to practice by the start of training camp in July after undergoing sports hernia surgery earlier this offseason.

Chalk Talk: Which rookie could start Week 1? - ChicagoBears.com - Senior writer Larry Mayer discusses which Bears draft pick is most likely to start the season opener, if the Bears will bring three kickers to training camp and the team’s plans for second-year linebacker Joel Iyiegbuniwe.

Matt Nagy Explains The Origins of His “BE YOU” Mantra to Delaware Grads and It Is Inspiring - Bleacher Nation - Life can be so simple sometimes. Just be you.

Ranking the 100 best Bears players ever: No. 98, Tom Thayer - Chicago Tribune - Before the Bears’ 100th season, the Tribune's Bears reporters and editors ranked the 100 best players in franchise history. Tom Thayer is No. 98.

Thompson: Mitch Trubisky looked the part at his Formula One shoot — but don't worry, the Bears wouldn't let him drive - Chicago Tribune - Mitch Trubisky looked the part for his cameo in a teaser video for the Formula One Festival at Soldier Field, but the Bears wouldn't let him drive a race car.

Bears Q&A: How will they divide playing time among the running backs? Will Riley Ridley or Anthony Miller be better? Why move Bradley Sowell to tight end? - Chicago Tribune - Brad Biggs answers Bears questions weekly. How will playing time in the backfield be divided among Mike Davis, David Montgomery and Tarik Cohen?

Wiederer: Mark Helfrich on Bears quarterback Mitch Trubisky's development - 'The air about him is way different' - Chicago Tribune - Bears offensive coordinator Mark Helfrich sees exponential growth this spring from quarterback Mitch Trubisky.

Biggs: James Daniels and Cody Whitehair trading places is the right move for the Bears offensive line - Chicago Tribune - The Bears flipped positions on the O-line, moving James Daniels to center and Cody Whitehair to guard. The belief is Daniels will be elite at the position.

Countdown to Camp 2019: Chicago Bears Wide Receiver Preview - Chicago Audible Podcast - The Chicago Audible continues its annual countdown to Chicago Bears training camp with an in-depth look at (and preview of) the team's wide receivers.

Vanzuiden: Mitchell Time - 3 Reasons Trubisky Will Soar in 2019 - Chicago Audible Blog - Chicago Bears QB Mitch Trubisky is poised to take a step forward and silence his doubters in 2019.

Ellis: The Bears Are Ready To Take The Leap in Year 2. But What About The Guys In Year 1? - NBC Sports Chicago - The Bears' newest additions will have to skip right to Football 202.

Bears ink offensive lineman T.J. Clemmings - ChicagoBears.com - The Bears added depth to their offensive line Friday by signing veteran tackle T.J. Clemmings, a fifth-year pro who made 30 starts over two seasons with the Vikings in 2015-16.

Finley: Is this the Bears’ new throwback jersey? - Chicago Sun-Times - Dick’s Sporting Goods in Algonquin appears to have released a uniform that dates to 1936.

Finley: Inside the mind of Brad Childress, the man other Bears coaches lean on for guidance - Chicago Sun-Times - "He’ll give me advice," Bears coach Matt Nagy said. "He’s not worried about who I am or what I do or what my title is."

Finley: Take that, Aaron Rodgers - Bears QB Mitch Trubisky drinks up at White Sox game - Chicago Sun-Times - Mitch Trubisky became the third NFC North quarterback to down a drink on camera in the last eight days. He might have been the fastest.

Finley: One year after a lost offseason, Bears receiver Allen Robinson ‘light-years’ ahead - Chicago Sun-Times - In March, Robinson flew to Huntington Beach, California, to work with Bears quarterback Mitch Trubisky.

Potash: Bears’ Kyle Long willing to pay the price for success - Chicago Sun-Times - With no rehab and no practice restrictions, the two-time Pro Bowl guard is aiming to regain his old form.

Finley: Bears sign former Vikings starting tackle T.J. Clemmings - Chicago Sun-Times - Still in search of competition at swing tackle, the Bears signed T.J. Clemmings on Friday.

Campbell: Bears are sifting through misses and makes as their 3-man kicker competition continues - ‘We’re going to be delicate with it’ - Chicago Tribune - A snapshot of the Bears’ kicking competition was a familiar picture of a team still deep in its search for a reliable one.

Ranking the 100 best Bears players ever: No. 96, Joey Sternaman - Chicago Tribune - Before the Bears’ 100th season, the Tribune’s Bears reporters and editors ranked the 100 best players in franchise history. Joey Sternaman is No. 96.

Ranking the 100 best Bears players ever: No. 97, Hugh Gallarneau - Chicago Tribune - Before the Bears’ 100th season, the Tribune’s Bears reporters and editors ranked the 100 best players in franchise history. Hugh Gallarneau is No. 97.

Ranking the 100 best Bears players ever: No. 99, William Perry - Chicago Tribune - Before the Bears’ 100th season, the Tribune’s Bears reporters and editors ranked the 100 best players in franchise history. William Perry is No. 99.

POLISH SAUSAGE

Bruce Arians: Gerald McCoy “just didn’t fit” – ProFootballTalk - The Buccaneers swapped defensive tackle Gerald McCoy and his $13 million salary for defensive tackle Ndamukong Suh and his $9.25 million salary. So why did they essentially trade the third pick in the 2010 draft for the second pick in the 2010 draft.

KNOW THY ENEMY

Calvin Johnson willing to mend relationship with Lions if they return money - Pride Of Detroit - Calvin Johnson made a resolution pretty clear and easy for the Lions.

Chad Beebe reportedly the early favorite for Vikings’ punt return job - Daily Norseman - He’s got some big shoes to fill

Laquon Treadwell remaining optimistic about his future - Daily Norseman - But he’s still got an uphill battle ahead of him

Packers’ Matt LaFleur tears Achilles playing basketball, will coach from cart - Acme Packing Company - An injury could already set back the Packers in OTAs, only this time it’s to the team’s new, hands-on head coach.

Former Packers DT Muhammad Wilkerson charged with drunk driving - Acme Packing Company - The one-year Packer faces legal trouble after an incident this weekend.

Detroit Lions DT Damon Harrison teases ‘major news coming soon’ - Pride Of Detroit - The veteran DT wants to clear the air regarding his trade, and promises something big coming soon.

IN CASE YOU MISSED IT ON WINDY CITY GRIDIRON

Wiltfong: Bears wide receiving corps ranked 10th in the NFL - Windy City Gridiron - SB Nation is ranking each position group in the NFL and they have Chicago’s receiving corps sneaking into the top 10.

Householder: Chicago Bears game spreads and updated Super Bowl odds for 2019 - Windy City Gridiron - Let’s take an early look at how Vegas is handicapping the Bears

Wiltfong: How athletic is the Bears offensive line? - Windy City Gridiron - Using the Relative Athletic Scores compiled by @MathBomb, we check in on how athletic the Bears offensive line is.

Infante: Bears sign offensive lineman T.J. Clemmings - Windy City Gridiron - The Bears have added some depth along the offensive line.

WCG CONTRIBUTORS BEARS PODCASTS & STREAMS

Windy City Gridiron Podcast Channel which includes Bear With Me from Robert Schmitz, Bears Over Beers featuring Jeff Berckes & EJ Snyder, and T Formation Conversation from Lester A. Wiltfong Jr.; Steven’s Streaming Twitch Channel from Steven Schweickert; and Robert Zeglinski’s The Blitz Network

THE RULES

Click on our names to follow us on Twitter:

Source: https://www.windycitygridiron.com/2019/6/3/18649812/chicago-bears-free-agency-draft-offseason-training-activities-camp-pace-nagy-trubisky-beer-chugging

#read more #see more #check it out #interesting #learn more

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wincestshippingtrash2 · 5 years

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Cie’s Year-End Wrap-Up 2018

Image copyright Conger Design

I love the above image. Back in the late 1990s, I went to school for one semester for graphic design but dropped out. I didn't know it at the time, but I had untreated type 2 bipolar disorder, OCD, and borderline personality disorder, three exciting co-morbid conditions which happen to feed each other in ways that are just, shall we say, really special. I wouldn't be properly diagnosed until 2004.

When I think of how many years were wasted mired in shame and stigma because I had no idea in this Universe what was going on with me, I thought I was just an attention-seeking fuckup, it makes me very angry. Granted, some of the tools available to me now simply didn't exist when I was younger. E-commerce was in its infancy in the 1990s. There were no smartphones.

Hell, even GPS was still in its infancy. (I still have my TomTom Go.) The job I have today could not have existed in the 1990s. Back when dinosaurs and Ronald Reagan roamed the Earth in 1984, I delivered pizzas. Even the TomTom Go was as yet unheard of. How the hell my dyslexic ass didn't get lost more often, I'll never know. When I think of trying to do my job without Waze, it gives me that feeling of waking up with a start after a terrible dream and praising whatever powers there might be that the dream isn't real.

So, I didn't initially come here to talk to you about type 2 bipolar disorder, but now that I've thought about it, I want to talk about it. This is how people tend to think of bipolar disorder, and it's a reasonably accurate depiction of type 1 bipolar disorder.

Image Source

The post that the image comes from is worth reading.

The late Patty Duke had type 1 bipolar disorder. She is a personal heroine of mine. Her book, Call Me Anna, helped me understand better the things that I had gone through and to help me forgive myself for some of the truly awful decisions I made while hypomanic.

Being diagnosed with type 2 bipolar disorder helped me understand why I had seen some features of bipolar disorder in myself but was convinced that I didn't have it because I'd never experienced a full mania. I tended to go from crushingly depressed to positive and overly functional. I never flew off to Vegas and got married to a guy I barely knew or anything of that nature, although I did convince myself several times that the Universe wanted me to be with guys who raised red flags like nobody's business and who, unsurprisingly, turned out to be horrible and abusive.

When I was hypomanic, I would take on second jobs and be the world's greatest employee that everyone loved until everything came crashing down and everyone ended up thinking I was the world's biggest flake and fuckup. I would be mired in depression which felt like being at the bottom of a dark pit that there was no way out of.

When I would finally, miraculously, find myself pulled out of that pit, I would admonish myself that from now on I would be positive and productive and would never go back THERE again. When I inevitably went back there again, I would shame and berate myself for being a worthless fuckup.

Click to enlarge.

This is a fairly standard bipolar disorder screening questionnaire. It tends to miss people with type 2 bipolar disorder.

Was there ever a period of time when I wasn't myself? No. I was always myself, although I often didn't like it very much.

The late Peter Steele of Type O Negative, who had type 1 bipolar disorder, describes reflecting on occasions following a manic episode where he felt that there was something he could have learned from the time in question if only he could remember it. I never experienced anything like that.

I've never presented as talking extremely fast or seeming particularly hyper. I've never slept well anyway, so the "sleeping less than usual" criteria didn't send up any red flags. The late Julia Lennon described having periods where she wouldn't sleep for a week at a time, and doctors didn't know what was wrong with her. She was institutionalized on several occasions.

I did get involved in ill-advised relationships with abusive guys, but I never flew off to Vegas to do so. I took on multiple jobs and then crashed, often losing all of my jobs. When I was good, I was very very good, and when I was bad I was nonfunctional.

I speak openly about my mental health struggles because I would be very happy if no-one else ever had to fight the way I've had to fight. I've been told that I should keep my psych problems hidden because people would avoid me if they knew I was one of THEM. I was told I would never find a job if people knew I'd been to a therapist.

I was also told that I was "just being dramatic," that I needed to "stop seeking attention," that I was "just being lazy," and that I brought all my problems on myself with my "negative thinking." I can tell you that none of these criticisms did a damn thing to help me improve my life or to do anything except hide my problems and hate myself because I was never able to develop any decent coping skills for dealing with them until I was in my middle years. At this point, I'm still cleaning up the messes made by attempting to hide my problems, such as a storage unit full of stuff and a mountain of debt.

We've come a long way when it comes to mental illness in Western society, but we haven't come far enough. There is still a tendency to see people with mental issues as less intelligent or less capable or as loose cannons just waiting to explode and harm others. The truth is, people who live with mental illness are more likely to be victims of violence than to perpetrate violence.

There is a tendency to see jobs such as mine as "lesser" and to believe that the working poor, unemployed, and homeless "deserve" to not have basic amenities or a living wage. This needs to end. Everybody deserves the basic amenities, whether or not they are capable of working a "normal" job or at all.

I heard the term "lazy" so many times that I ended up with a terrible complex about taking breaks or doing things that are purely enjoyable and will never turn a profit. I once read a statement from a counselor which said that the term "lazy" should be replaced with "demotivated," because asking a person why they are so lazy shuts down the conversation and thus any chance of helping the person, whereas asking them why they are feeling demotivated leaves the conversation open and may help create a plan for helping them.

Exploitative shows like "Hoarders" should not exist. Like, at all. Capitalizing on people's illness for entertainment is twisted and barbaric. Hoarding is a subtype of obsessive-compulsive disorder. It is the symptom of malfunction in a certain area of the brain. It is not "laziness." Dealing with hoarding tendencies is exhausting, time-consuming, and life-destroying. People with hoarding tendencies need help from a compassionate professional, not a bunch of lookie-loos seeking schadenfreude at another's expense.

My son is helping me deal with the lifetime of hoarding without help contained in my storage units and the closets and spare rooms of the mobile home that I hope to have in a condition where I can think about selling it by the end of next year. With his help, the storage unit, which is about the size of a one-car garage, is 1/3 of the way clear at this point, and we are hoping to have it entirely clear by June of 2019.

My late father attempted to "help with cleaning," but his help really only traumatized me and made me feel more ashamed, which didn't lead to me keeping up with the process. My son is understanding when I tell him that I can't deal with a certain item at the moment and we'll need to put it aside. We move on to the next thing. He also suggests creating scrapbooks and art from my vast collection of images from magazines, unlike my father, who told me that "anything that lands on the floor needs to be thrown in the garbage."

My father had piles of papers and magazines all over his house. He had OCD with hoarding tendencies too, but he came from an era when one locked their mental health issues in an attic and never spoke of them. This helped nothing, which is why I have come out of the attic and am speaking openly about my struggles.

For years I refused to make New Year's resolutions because I had learned to equate them with "new you in 52" crap, which really benefits no-one but the billion-dollar diet industry. I refuse to have or promote weight loss as a "health goal."

I spent 33 years in yo-yo dieting hell trying to hate myself thin. There is no way I'm going to endorse that behavior. I'm going batshit at this point with all the blogs in my sidebar promoting "get paid to lose weight" garbage. You'll never see me promoting these things because dieting inevitably fails for everyone but statistical unicorns.

Diets don't work. Health at Every Size works. If you want to start exercising, increase the amount you're exercising, or eat fewer processed foods, great, but do it for overall health, not for weight loss.

We'll all be a "new you in 52" anyway. We'll have new experiences behind us, and many of our cells will have been replaced by new ones. Don't buy into the "new you in 52" crap. It only leads to frustration. Instead, pursue things that will lead to a more authentic you.

Your authentic you has nothing to do with a number on the scale or even the amount of money in your bank account. It is the you who is true to themselves, which has nothing to do with looks or status at all.

Best wishes in the coming year,

Cie

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#creative and mentally ill #cie's soapbox #diets don't work #cie's personal crap #living with mental illness

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netherworldwritersguild · 5 years

Text

Cie's Year-End Wrap-Up 2018

Image copyright Conger Design

Image Source

The post that the image comes from is worth reading.

Click to enlarge.

This is a fairly standard bipolar disorder screening questionnaire. It tends to miss people with type 2 bipolar disorder.

Was there ever a period of time when I wasn't myself? No. I was always myself, although I often didn't like it very much.

Best wishes in the coming year,

Cie

#creative and mentally ill #cie's soapbox #cie's personal crap #bipolar 2 #hoarding disorder

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