#and i know that shit is hard irl too but to 'take actions' doesn't always mean to embrace violence

[disasteregyptologist]

As a writer, who is your biggest inspiration?

Does anyone in real life know about your RPing hobby and what, if anything, have they said about it?

Have you always liked to write and at what age did you start?

What are your fears when it comes to writing online?

What is your favorite genre to write?

What made you want to join the roleplaying community?

Who are your top three favorite fictional characters and why?

1. Honestly? I don't have one.. Even though I write I don't actually read books often or at all. When it comes to finding muse to write I tend to watch things or listen to music, whatever can create the image in my head best.. So I guess those are my inspirations

2. My best friend irl knows and honestly she doesn't care lmao

3. I have always liked writing fiction for as long as I can remember. I used to sit and write short stories all the time when I was a child as a creative outlet I suppose.. I loved and still do enjoy creating characters. Actually rping though? I think I was like 13?

4. My fears.. Honestly I sometimes have insecurities on my writing or that someone better is going to come along and just write the character better than I am. Even my OCs I feel like people won't like for one way or the other? I dunno I suppose my fear is basically being replaced by someone else but that's just because I have replacement issues.

5. Favourite genre? I like writing romance but I also enjoy the action and nitty gritty too, so i suppose I like a mix.

6. I'll be honest I can't remember it was so far back.. I guess what drew me to it was being able to write characters in my head with other people and having others have the same interests as me.. Even picking up Canon characters I admire and having a chance to write them too.

7. Oof that's a hard one.

Evelyn is obviously close to my heart, she's brave, smart and doesn't give a fuck about what anyone thinks of her she is proud of who she is (a librarian) but honestly she was one of the reasons I fell in love with Egyptology in the first place and a character in a sense I feel like I can relate to.

Christine Daae would be my next, another character I feel close to, she's a soprano for a start and a girl who's shy but at the end of the story is brave and kind and selfless. I mean if you haven't seen phantom please do. I'm not explaining her character very well but yep she's definitely a character I admire musically.

I'm failing to be able to pick a third.. Honestly I seem to be drawn to the women who are just strong independent, don't take no shit but who still have flaws and creative hobbies. Christine is naive, Evelyn is stubborn.. But they're both strong in their own ways.

#out of character have you no respect for the dead? #answered #This was fun to answer thank you! #The answers were long lmao

[shatouto]

sometimes pro-jedi discourse is fun (because i adore the jedi) and sometimes it's just "how much longer can you try to blindly defend one person before you lose track of everything else in the argument"

#like cmon man your slippery slope is showing #I don't wanna put efforts into this because it's fucking space monks and fictional planets #i just wanna say that collective action and grassroots organization are a thing #and i know that shit is hard irl too but to 'take actions' doesn't always mean to embrace violence #and if you don't take actions in ANY way then you aren't taking actions #'peace-minded' is no excuse for procrastination #i don't blame the jedi or yoda for that matter but you defend them like they have no flaw #you keep saying 'nobody is saying we can't criticize the jedi' and then #every time somebody does (actually reasonably) you smack them down with pathos-filled arguments #im tired #delete later #anyway if you actually think one person presiding a group for centuries is a good idea #i have news for you #nobody is saying that power corrupts yoda #we're saying he's a boomer presiding over a bunch of millenials and gen z and do you see how well THAT can go?

[aroaceconfessions]

I cry every time I hear Dear Winter by ajr.

I'm a big crybaby, everybody forgets this because I don't like romantic movies and your typical tragedy stories don't touch me, but the right content turns me into a waterfall in the blink of an eye. I find it fun to tell everybody the stuff that makes me cry, specially cause they think it's super dramatic but then my explanation is either very goofy or super meta. The reason for this one, though, I'm not brave to share with my irls.

I want to have kids.

I had 3 big dreams when I was small: be a scientist, work in security and marry. Now, I'm not really the smartest person around, it's OK, there's nothing wrong with not being smart, some of us aren't. I can convince most people that I am, but I'm not good enough to be doing serious researches and such. I'm also weak, like can't carry 4kg weak, and underweight, as in can't donate blood underweight, and also, cops ain't shit and USA have way too much power on the worldwide security and intelligence organizations, I can't be part of that happily. And last, I'm aroace. Strictly so. It's not happening. I don't want to marry, I wanted a wedding and a marriage, not to be married. I wanted the big cake, the fancy clothes and the excuse for the coolest needlessly expensive party. I wanted a partner to stand by my side, to be close and intimate, to share my life and to help me raise our kids. That's what I wanted, not to meet and love someone and give up much of me to make space for him in my soul so we can become one.

I can't do none of this.

It's gonna be hard to maintain myself, money wise, by myself in a society made for two and I don't want my kids to go through any hardships, I want to give them a great life. It's also gonna be hard to get the state permission to adopt, the priority is to couples, has always been, will always be.

And so the song says “I really doesn't seem like there's anyone for me, but dear Winter, I hope you like your name. Im hoping that some day I can meet you on this earth. But shit, I gotta meet your mom first” it hits so hard. I have so many names and ideas and daydreams, I've considered everything, every option, I watch a movie and I think about how I would've helped this or that character as a parent, I look at my own parents actions and think "oh, I would do this too" or "I would never do this" and it's always like this.

I'm not going to have a biological kid, I'm in my 20s and despite having wished to have kids for all of my life it was never biologically, sinc ei was very young I knew I wanted to adopt. But I feel awful with the idea that I would be taking a kid's chance of having a happy family. I would love them so dearly, I know I would, but I also grew up with both my parents, surrounded by kids of a single parent household who would every now and then tell me how jealous they were of me and how lucky I am. I can't do that to a kid, can't be that fucking selfish. I'm not a bad person.

It's a fraction of my third dream, I gotta give up like I did with the rest, gotta be realistic. It's just that I can't get myself to close it. To give this last piece of my childhood wishes away to time. Sending this here is how I'm doing it. I'm putting myself out here so I can't go back. It can't see it happening, no matter how real and sweet and happy it looks in my fantasies, hoping for it is just hurting me. I'm saying bye bye to this last little one.

#parenthood #aromantic #asexual #aroace #marriage #adoption

[coolbeansbuddyofmine]

Damn, if i had your talent i would never stop writing. I have so many ideas but when i try to put write them down it just, has no life.

I've read everything even from fandoms i don't belong to. Do you write profesionally?

first of all, thank you so much. this was so kind that i was genuinely shocked and stunned speechless. i've been having a rough year, really, with some personal and family issues recently so this was a nice pick-me-up.

(anon, if you have a tumblr, i'd love to put a name to the person who brought a smile to my face)

secondly, don't disparage your own skills !!! i'm glad you like my writing so much. truly. but there are lots of my currently still published (i've orphaned some works from pre-pandemic) works that i'm not excessively fond of. i like them all, but i can safely say i'm not satisfied with any of them per se. i think it's difficult to be satisfied by your own writing ever. so truly, if you feel your own writing is shit, i want you to know i feel that too, even about the fics you may love. one man's trash is another man's treasure, and writing is so inherently personal and subjective, it's hard to analyze quality by your own judgement alone. i say with this full honesty and frankness, i dont think your writing is shit, anon op.

i don't think writers give life to their works, as much as readers do. readers adopt these worlds i've written and breathe life into it, by connecting and sympathising with it. just as i can say, i don't think writers will love their writing the most, it'll always be the readers. there are certain fics out there which i'm entirely obsessed with, my holy grail truly. and i hope for you, and any of my other readers out there, i hope you find comfort in any of my fics. i think the hallmark of a writer isn't necessarily to persuade their readers to do this or that, but to help them find something, a small thing, in a certain work that identifies with them. i hope my works identify with you. again with writing being so inherently personal, almost like you're like looking into myself, it takes a lot of courage to publish and put it out there, and knowing others empathise with me is another joy, unable to be put into words. i don't think i write action, romance, emotions, metaphors, or description or a very good many list of things well, but that doesn't matter as long as someone can identify and find comfort in certain aspects of my fics.

(apologies for this long and dragged on explanation, concision is something i really struggle with. and my virginia woolf is very much so responsible for the stream of consciousness writing that i can't stop.)

also, i'm truly flattered you've read my fics. i've written 91 ones as of rn, and i have countless others i've anon-ed and orphaned, and it's no joke to even read 91 of them. i have an insane schedule and i know that (amongst my many flaws, lack of self-awareness isn't one of them). i truly don't know what to say but thank you. it really is motivation for me to write more, esp when im struggling with many irl things rn.

finally to answer your question, the answer is sort of. i write for my uni newspaper (it's actually pretty renowned but since this platform relies on anonymity that i crave, i won't say which) as a journalist. other than that, i publish poetry and creative writing to my uni creative writing journal (see above explanation) and i get paid to write basically. because i won a fellowship, and it ranges from around 10k usd per sem. besides that, i do academic writing for my econ lab and internship at an international economic non-governmental authority.

i also work as a graphic designer and copy writer.

so, yes. i'm kinda a professional writer. i do not have any proper published novels and the like, but as a uni student, i do a fair bit of writing. other than what my school homework already requires and what not.

#my writing #very long answer im sorry #writer problems #writing advice #ask box answered!

[punkscowardschampions]

Sick Kids

gotspoons: [A chatroom/forum situation for teens with invisible illnesses/disabilities, a resource that is recommended when you can't go to IRL groups for your health/they aren't in your area etc] gotspoons: Ticked one whole thing off my to-do list today, feeling like a champ 💪 also feeling like a 2-hour long nap, who here relates? 🥱 tigerbalm: 🖐 took my nap earlier & yet 😴💤 brainpain: 💕🛏 brainpain: long lasting relationship with my memory foam mattress gotspoons: There is NO limit on the number of naps necessary to make it through the day tigerbalm: or the number of abandoned to-do lists, what was your 1 thing? gotspoons: 🚿 looks like breakfast will have to wait tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: @brainpain I have so many memory foam pillows in every room of my house I'm basically a shareholder 🙌 brainpain: @tooexhaustedtolivevicariously same but I've got my fave, I call him Edgar tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: 👏🙏 thank you for your service, Edgar tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: must name mine, only named the chariot 🦼 Charlton gotspoons: [ihatemyguts has entered the chat] gotspoons: A newbie, welcome! tigerbalm: 👋 tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: love the username, what ails ya? tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: because this is the only place it's acceptable to ask 'what's WRONG with you?' but not the only place you encounter it, right brainpain: but you don't have to answer cos it's also somewhere where you're encouraged to 'express yourself' translation: be an arsehole if you want brainpain: if you don't go hardcore enough to get blocked brainpain: @fibrofog LMAO tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: the normies get to be rude as their default, and it is NOT encouraged to hit people with your cane, let me tell you ihatemyguts: Hi, everyone ihatemyguts: I'll do my best not to be an arsehole, even if my problem only lie directly above said orifice, which makes it a struggle not to be at times ihatemyguts: UC, first flare totally fucked over the family holiday 😬 sorry to that hotel toilet and my long-suffering parents and brother brainpain: newbie got jokes AND comedy timing ihatemyguts: 🚽 humour isn't all I have, I swear, though my life now does revolve entirely around the porcelain throne so it's no surprise I'm anally expulsive, thanks to Freud for that read tigerbalm: Freud's the perv, am I right? ihatemyguts: Totally ihatemyguts: and a big believer in the cocaine cure-all, which my Doctor just wasn't going for, shame tigerbalm: sounds like my sleazy uncle in every way tigerbalm: why does everybody get one? gotspoons: 😂 This chat is worth keeping my eyes open for gotspoons: every family is a play, and we're destined to be the 'sick kid' part gotspoons: other players react accordingly, from the 'can't look at you without crying' to the 'thinks you're making it up for some reason' brainpain: I vote we all go off script like @fibrofog 🤬🚨👿❗️ ihatemyguts: I guess I'm lucky in the sense that if anyone doubts the legitimacy of my illness, I can offer to show them the contents of my stomach/toilet bowl ihatemyguts: that shuts them up relatively fast, not had to go full 🐒 and throw it at anyone yet ihatemyguts: though I'm intrigued by the infamous @fibrofog, who are they, where, and why the infamy? Fill a girl in brainpain: the myth, the legend brainpain: so angry cos I turned 'em down for a romantic rendezvous ihatemyguts: No way! ihatemyguts: I'm glad that napping isn't the only action the memory foam is getting ihatemyguts: we're just like any other teens, right guys? 💁 tigerbalm: @brainpain you know the rules, fedora pics or it didn't happen! tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: you know what they say about disabled chicks, grateful 😉 tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: #dontkillmeladies #iamnotasleazyuncle tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: don't think Mr. Fog was even a legit 🥄 tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: total predator tigerbalm: if it was my uncle I'm SO sorry 😂 tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: family who piggyback are THE worst tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: no, MY disability doesn't make YOU automatically WOKE for not drowning me in the tub or throwing me off the nearest high place I can access ihatemyguts: Honestly, I've never felt as simultaneously popular and unpopular in my life ihatemyguts: people 💬 a big acceptance game on the socials ihatemyguts: but no one wants to actually hang with the girl who can't eat shit and will spend half her time in the 🚽 gotspoons: Everyone's supportive until your disability gets in the way of THEIR perfect life even slightly gotspoons: imagine if they were one of us 👽 brainpain: speak for yourselves, my slurred speech makes me a hit with all my hard partying peers brainpain: get weird without a 🍹 ihatemyguts: hey man, don't let us drag you down 😎 ihatemyguts: if @fibrofog was feeling you, you're WAY too cool for this chat right now brainpain: never have, never will, baby 😉 brainpain: [inandout has entered the chat] gotspoons: OH MY GOD, that's a whole different story...my parents = you need to socialize more, live life! my parents = I don't know if this group is good for you, we think you're being encouraged to display and give in to even more problems gotspoons: thanks guys, you're literally making me more disabled with your disabledness 😂 tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: It is a cult, well-known fact, leave your productiveness to society at the door and let's all lie here and feel sorry for ourselves, doesn't that sound like fun, kids? 😈 tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: and 👋 sup, inandout, not seen you in a while tigerbalm: my parents act like y'all are catching too! Would you like to cage me like a legit 🐅 or? inandout: baited breath inandout: out living that life like @gotspoons parents want tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: It'll be the Olympics next tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: 🥇 Hero status with the normies, inspirational, dude inandout: if it'll make adults I've never met proud of me ihatemyguts: I can't believe I've not checked if I'm disabled enough for the paras, oh my God ihatemyguts: are there enough of us for a basketball team? brainpain: if ONLY my former lover were here brainpain: he's gotta be so tall ihatemyguts: Pining for @fibrofog is productive, yeah? ihatemyguts: can pine from my throne just fine brainpain: hands off newbie! I will throw mine brainpain: LOL imagine gotspoons: This group has always had a bias towards too many girls gotspoons: it's almost as if even disabled boys don't wanna talk about their feelings gotspoons: what say you @tooexhaustedtolivevicariously and @inandout? 🤔🤴🤴 inandout: I'd bring friends but you know us CF kids aren't allowed to congregate inandout: and what could I possibly have in common with someone who doesn't share my disease ihatemyguts: So, what is the deal with that, are some of us catching? ihatemyguts: 🐅 parents might have legit concerns inandout: cross infectious but only if you've got what's got me inandout: none of you do so you'll need another reason to turn down hanging out in person tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: my fedora is in the wash? inandout: Fibro could easily say it's my jewishness brainpain: but it's your hunkiness, babe 💪😉 inandout: I'd whistle back at you, Lauren but.... inandout: let's just say you leave me breathless tigerbalm: No names, Zach tigerbalm: it's like a rule ihatemyguts: uh-oh ihatemyguts: if you had a name, Tiger, in theory, like ihatemyguts: 🧐 tigerbalm: Robyn ihatemyguts: Pretty, you others may as well just come out with it now ihatemyguts: even if I'm a massive perv with mad hacking and tracking skills, I pinky promise I won't be able to find you from your given name alone brainpain: give us yours, newbie ihatemyguts: I will, but you'll think I'm giving you a fake one ihatemyguts: it's the gift and curse bestowed upon me at birth, along with potentially dodgy genetics brainpain: your life is 💩 brainpain: but still ihatemyguts: Zelda ihatemyguts: a reference I'm sure you won't get, 'cos you're so 😎 brainpain: I game, the stream was fibros fave hunting ground brainpain: no 💩 tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: Turns out being a nerd is way easy from the relative (barely but beats death, yeah?) comfort of the memory foam tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: and Rich 👍 only in name, destitute until my next pittance comes in tigerbalm: she's not supposed to 🎮 -headaches -dizziness -light & sound sensitivity but she's a REBEL brainpain: 👌 MOM maybe I'd love a seizure, what do you know? ihatemyguts: I respect it ihatemyguts: gonna be fondly reminiscing over all those dirty, evil trigger foods when they're resecting my bowel 🖕🚔 brainpain: I had a life before I had a TBI, no offense to 👶 Zach inandout: none taken gotspoons: You're all being bad and I cannot support it 🤐😜 gotspoons: and I'm Rosie, I will just 😴 out on you all the time and yes, it's a fantastic excuse for when you don't wanna respond ihatemyguts: I'll commit all of those to memory in a normal, non-creepy manner ihatemyguts: but whilst I'm allowed to be a n00b, what do you all do for school? brainpain: I was nearly done before 🤯 which got me my pity pass ihatemyguts: pity with a point, at least, alright tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: I'm waiting to start uni, absolutely no thanks to my school and their totally ableist refusal to make reasonable adjustments for accessibility tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: but fedora or not, I can be a real arsehole, a loud, persistent one at that tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: take my applause now brainpain: 😍 brainpain: take my 💘 tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: as long as it's not heavy, m'lady brainpain: you could 💔 brainpain: hold the pieces tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: 🧠 just isn't poetic enough brainpain: you know me gotspoons: you guys are so cute 🥰 and your broken brain is beautiful, Lauren gotspoons: me though, I'm barely struggling through school still, so many sick days, so much catching up to do 🥱 just thinking about it and therein lies the problem tigerbalm: my parents are trying to get online classes set up but my headteacher is like a million years old inandout: is he a demon? inandout: that was some scary fiction brainpain: or was it? brainpain: cue up those sound effects tigerbalm: if we're gonna talk about hypnosis, I'm out ihatemyguts: that was some serious creepy uncle vibes ihatemyguts: why did he need that level of control ihatemyguts: 🐘 in the room tigerbalm: I have a hippie cousin too, alternative therapy talk is so triggering ihatemyguts: I need a memoir re. your family sitch immediately 😂 ihatemyguts: you get the food purists coming @ me as if I just eat the right thing I'd be 'cured' tigerbalm: I'm working on a screenplay but I've never written a script before, I did find an online class for that easily though ihatemyguts: that's actually 😎 ihatemyguts: soz, Lauren brainpain: she's our lil busy 🐝 brainpain: step your game up, Zachary brainpain: supposed to be you, bro inandout: let Robbie have it, she has more sick days to fill up ihatemyguts: always have your 🥇 inandout: I can pin it on like a star when I got to school with the masses inandout: let them know I'm not what normal looks like ihatemyguts: only the others like you need to have the scoop on that though ihatemyguts: really fucks with the segregation in a big way inandout: “I feel like someone breathed new air into my lungs. I am not Abnegation. I am not Dauntless. I am Divergent.” ihatemyguts: Tattoo idea inandout: if I make it to 18, I'll do it ihatemyguts: how long you given yourself there? inandout: I turned 14 in may, the party was a full blown rager inandout: 🏥🎂 ihatemyguts: you like ruining events too? ihatemyguts: what a coincidence, don't just do family holidays inandout: if I can't blow up 🎈 nobody can ihatemyguts: 🥳 smug bastard inandout: I find that party blower offensive inandout: Rosie! That's a strike for the new girl ihatemyguts: Come to me when it's as culturally iconic as 💩 ihatemyguts: my next (first) tattoo right there inandout: how long are you waiting for that masterpiece? ihatemyguts: was 14 in March ihatemyguts: if we both make it, it's a date inandout: cool inandout: way I'm going that'll be my first one brainpain: now I feel like a pervy OLD uncle brainpain: thank you 👶s ihatemyguts: Lemme guess? ihatemyguts: I'm thinking 19 brainpain: spooky brainpain: I'm an Aquarius if anyone cares ihatemyguts: our 🌟s aligning might be too close to alternative for comfort tigerbalm: I'm a cancer, which is awkward tigerbalm: not my diagnosis ihatemyguts: at least it's memorable ihatemyguts: literally tacked on at the end, who's remembering 🎣 tigerbalm: I hope my 16th will be, for the right reasons tigerbalm: I've still got 5 months left to plan ihatemyguts: 🤞🤞🤞 tigerbalm: I'll add your name, the others know they're all invited ihatemyguts: that's so nice ihatemyguts: considering this introduction has given away nothing if not I am a terrible guest brainpain: another chat about online safety, Robyn, REALLY? 😏 brainpain: did my failed romance teach you nothing? ihatemyguts: if that isn't a challenge to send a photo and make you feel really weird ihatemyguts: why are we anon anyway, to stop us uprising? ihatemyguts: metaphorically if not literally, no offense xoxo brainpain: f it brainpain: I need you all to sign up to my stream to pay my bills anyways brainpain: [a selfie] ihatemyguts: @fibrofog, I get it brainpain: don't flock to tell me how sexy I am, that'd make it weird brainpain: plus, I know tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: I picked an awkward time to check back in tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: Rosie falls asleep and anarchy reigns? tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: I'm proud brainpain: 💔 YOU haven't showered me with compliments, but hey tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: if I made it that easy you'd never be 💘 brainpain: 😩 tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: to save any of the rest of you following such a hard act tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: [pic] tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: it's old but still a rough estimation of what I look like on a good day brainpain: 😍 brainpain: You're up, girl Z ihatemyguts: if you're all good looking though, I'm so mad ihatemyguts: [a selfie] ihatemyguts: 💩 inandout: I'm not good looking, I'll go next inandout: besides, Robbie would never bow to peer pressure and Rosie is out for the count inandout: [a selfie] tigerbalm: I am 🙀 tigerbalm: but everyone else has tigerbalm: [the shyest selfie of all time] ihatemyguts: 😻😻😻 ihatemyguts: seriously ihatemyguts: representation done us dirty on so many levels now ihatemyguts: when we're not invisible, why we not so gorgeous tigerbalm: there should be a blushing 😸 tigerbalm: that's the representation I need ihatemyguts: Call me out all you need but I was convinced this whole thing would be a lot more tragic than it has been inandout: tragic Tuesdays are a thing brainpain: no they are f-ing not brainpain: Zachary, just cos the new girl's in your age bracket + shares your 1st initial brainpain: she is not corruptible to you inandout: check us on our date, Lauren inandout: but watch your profanity brainpain: watch me give you a DIY lung transplant gotspoons: Excuse me gotspoons: what is going on here brainpain: nothing babe, it's all a dream gotspoons: 😖 gotspoons: if it was, none of you would be here gotspoons: sorry to say brainpain: we love you too brainpain: hit us with that sleepy selfie gotspoons: You know we aren't meant to give out personal info in the public forum gotspoons: if you choose to privately, that's okay though gotspoons: also I don't look any better for my shower now 🥴🤫 brainpain: you're a hottie gotspoons: 😘 gotspoons: well, my blog IS going to be featured on [insert disability awareness news moment] next month, so it isn't as if you couldn't find 🖼 if you really wanted gotspoons: [photo] tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: Congrats, Ro tigerbalm: a genuine 👏👏👏 tigerbalm: I love your blog gotspoons: Ty, ty 🙇 gotspoons: it's the same as my username, if you wanna check it out, newbie 😄 brainpain: but have you been on the news for being the victim of a violent crime? 😏 just me LOL inandout: Lauren's trading on her fame again inandout: let Rosie have her moment ihatemyguts: pass along all relevant info and I'll 🤓 right up brainpain: @inandout 🍒😃💩👅 brainpain: enjoy the profanity, bro inandout: today's highlight tigerbalm: Zelda could take offence at that, Zach tigerbalm: I think it was nice to meet her ihatemyguts: Not at all ihatemyguts: though it's cultural appropriation to use that emoji without my permission, I'll let it slide 😉 ihatemyguts: nice meeting you all too tigerbalm: I really am gonna have to tell you about my family now ihatemyguts: All I wanted, tbh tigerbalm: everyone else knows this but my parents are white Americans & they adopted me and my brothers who are Native and African American respectively tigerbalm: & you saw me, the Korean girl so ihatemyguts: Ohh tigerbalm: it sounds like a show that should air on ABC family, right? tigerbalm: hella awkward ihatemyguts: I'm brainstorming (p. sure we're not meant to say that, soz) titles rn ihatemyguts: inappropriate question alert, verbal smackdowns appreciated if needed ihatemyguts: did they adopt you knowing you were disabled or is that a new development? tigerbalm: I was gonna call it building bridges but we can't really say that the USA has wronged Korea like the other nations tigerbalm: though they did adopt me knowing so maybe it still works 😄 ihatemyguts: it's got legs tigerbalm: 🦿 ihatemyguts: Ugh, must dash ihatemyguts: 🩸💉s tigerbalm: best of luck ihatemyguts: 💕 total pro by now 💪 brainpain: if I don't 👀 you on my stream I'll 🔎 you here in the forums inandout: a threatening goodbye inandout: can't compete tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: 👋 Hope to see you back here, Zelda tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: though you wouldn't be the first person to 👻 after dropping in, so no pressure, @Lauren gotspoons: but actually, we're always here, some of us more than others, but you'll always find someone to chat to about the things you can't with non-spoonies ihatemyguts: ✌

[one-abuse-survivor]

so my roommate told me their trauma yesterday and I find that I’m having a hard time taking it seriously. I know that I can’t just say “are you fucking kidding me that’s nothing” because clearly, to them, it wasn’t. But at the same time, I went through the same thing but objectively much worse, and while it was a little traumatic, I’ve long since figured it out. They’re here saying how hard it was for them to get bullied by 5 or 6 people in elementary school, even though they had the administration on their side, and also probably started it by pummeling someone who said something they didn’t like (they did not say this, but they are very easily offended and accuse people of being exclusionary/mean for not having the conversation they (the roommate) wants to, and also said they threw the first punch in every fight they were in. makes you wonder). Meanwhile, I had forty some-odd kids actively participating in games specifically intended to ostracize me and probably ten who spearheaded all of this. I never got into a fight once and just took whatever blows I got dealt because of the zero tolerance policy, still got in trouble for it because the kids reporting things didn’t like me, had no support from most authority figures. I understand that things affect people differently, but I’m finding it really hard to acknowledge their trauma as valid. The fact that they use it as an excuse to be a piece of shit doesn’t help but I’d already written them off as garbage in that respect. Also, what does respecting someone’s trauma really mean? I know brushing it off and saying “that’s not traumatic” is a big no-no, but to what point do I have to let them get away with things because of it? I’m a naturally loud person, and they’ve told me I need to not be loud because it triggers them. Is suppressing myself a reasonable thing for them to ask of me? Any advice you have is greatly appreciated. Take care of yourself!

Before anything else, I want to tell you it's not uncommon to feel like someone claiming to have gone through the same thing as you didn't have it as bad as you did, and being upset by that. I've seen a lot of people, online and irl, express feeling this kind of indignation, and not just with regards to trauma. I think it's okay to feel this way, so long as you handle it responsibly. And handling it responsibly definitely includes not telling the other person what they went through isn't traumatic—I'm glad you already know that.

I think, at the end of the day, the best thing to do in this case is to establish boundaries. You can't prove your roommate truly went through bullying and trauma, and you can't prove they're making it up either. That's not your business or your right to know. But what you can do is be aware of your own emotions, so that when this anger and indignation you're feeling get too much, you can look for ways to keep them in check.

A way to do that is to establish boundaries, as I mentioned. For example, you can ask them politely not to talk to you about their trauma. You don't have to explain why, but if you want to, you can always say it's a topic that makes you uncomfortable, maybe because it makes you remember your own trauma. You don't have to (and in fact, you shouldn't) specify that you don't think their experiences were bad enough or that you think you had it worse. All you have to do is ask them to not bring up their trauma to you and enforce that boundary if they try.

With regards to "what does respecting someone's trauma really mean", I don't think having gone through trauma should let anyone "get away with" anything, because "getting away with" means you are dodging accountability for your actions, and I think people should always be accountable for their actions. Trauma can often explain certain toxic actions, for example, but it doesn't justify them. We're still responsible of not being toxic to others.

They asked you to not be so loud around them because it triggers them, and I think that's something you do need to respect to make cohabitation work between the two of you. It's not your place to decide noise isn't actually triggering to them. But you do also have a right to not feel like you're suppressing your natural self around them.

Boundaries are often complicated and even incompatible like that. When that happens, and staying away from one another isn't an option, I think the right course of action is negotiation. For example, you can ask if it would be okay to set a few hours of the day when you get to be loud around them, or the two of you together can come up with a way for them to communicate how susceptible to loud noises they feel each day so you can regulate according to that. (As someone susceptible to loud noises myself, tolerance to noise can change a LOT from day to day, at least for me). If they say they don't want you to ever be loud around them, you can always negotiate a way for you to have enough alone time in the room to express that part of yourself, for example.

The problem with negotiation is you both have to be willing to accommodate one another and to be honest with one another for it to work, and, sadly, you have no control over how much your roommate wants to cooperate and be honest with you.

So, yeah, this is a very nuanced and complicated topic, and that's all the advice I can really give you. I really hope some of this helps, and that things with your roommate go as smoothly as they possibly can :)

#abusive roommate anon #ask #Trauma #Trauma tw #Bullying tw #Boundaries #physically disabled anon

[sweatblvvdtears]

I am sorry but I am a piece of shit who insecure about almost everything even to the one I cared about , I love and I know I can be dependable on them or etc . I am just anxious . I can't stop the voices inside my head to tell me to not thinking suspiciously or negatively about them, because I can listen to them and hearing them means I had to do lots of works and dealt more damaged inside myself and irl . Don't take what every I do too personally , I did it always . I've blocked hundreds of blogs , sometimes simply to not let you come in and stalk me all around . Some blog I will put under soft block for a while then when I'm satisfied or feel that I am safe or just okay back , I will open them again . It doesn't mean I hate or angry or hurt . I just ... Anxious . Hard block / permanently just means I don't like you , you hurting me and I am worried about your actions and your contents more whenever I'm on . I will always open my block list . I checking them whenever I wanted to . No , I am not anti sexual or because of your words etc , I just becoming more passive and a bit under defense also get anxious till it becoming so suck and sick for me to be around people themselves . I just need time . My head constantly telling me to be far away from people . Block them . Be angry whenever someone get closed . Be under defense . Build high wall and reject everyone . Attack them when they approach . My skin is .... Being too freaking sensitive to let anybody touching me . I don't know , the more I sitting inside this hell hole house and being caged and cannot interact also communicate or go out , the more weirder I become . Like , I hate to be touched . It's not because I don't like you . I DO . Look in my eyes . Suffer . *pulls people's collar shirt and shakes them in urge to tell* I don't KNOW . *release the collar shirt and throws them aside , runs and hides and pushes everyone inside my path / road away angrily and bitterly* I'm afraid . I can't deal with people . I will attack you without realized I am so sorry . I am just afraid . I am under full defense and my brain is telling me to hide and to push them all away and I will shove everything out forcely either by physically or mentally . This house had made me becoming ... More weird . 💔 I feel hurt . I never really experiencing the world on the outside or people much , my world mostly is inside this hole where I called as hell hole . I was caged and still am , I never really been touched much or talked to or meet people that much . You don't know what kind of house I am been into . I get hurt in the most high frequency to my ears . I never really can go out . Even if you can decide to pushing me outside my house and you can stop the pain from bleeding from I keep on receiving inside it , I don't think I can walk away just like that . I think I will stop and look long enough to my "home" , I can't seem to walk just like that . Like my house where it should be called as home , is chaining me down . Very hard . Somehow it made me felt guilty . To just go away just like that . It made me think . Like I have an unfinished business . They say , "Home is where the heart is ." or , "True family will lift you up . Always . They will give you the freedom and loves and never force you much to do anything you disliked , they will make you happy and cheer everyone inside the place . Bringing you up as much as they can ." I didn't find them on anywhere yet .

#p #.txt #tw #thought #vent