#and i love when hockeys go 👅
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TMNT HEADCANON / how the turtles text
A lot can be said from how someone express themselves through texting, so this is just some crack / light headcanons !
Not really based on a single version per say, more that turtles have been deprived of social interaction for the majority of their life and I think texting them would be an very interesting experience lol
Idea based on @avery73 last random turtle post (thanks for being one of our strongest soldiers and writing wonderful pieces 🫡)
English is not my first language and I didn’t proofread this, if there is any grammatical erros pls don’t hesitate to tell me!
Mikey
🎢 Single texts
🎢 Just like this
🎢 Loads of it
🎢 You got 60 new messages
🎢 in the past 2 minutes
🎢 Loads of gifs too
🎢 And voice memos
🎢Oh look
🎢6 personality tests links
🎢What do you mean you won’t do it
🎢He needs to know what kind of cupcake you are!!!!
🎢 And music recs
🎢 Your phone won’t stop vibrating
🎢 for the next weeks
🎢 After you meet him (Honestly really annoying unless you have a crush on him)
🎢 For the latinos/latinas; if he EVER finds out about WhatsApp and the stickers. Oh you are so done. If you have an older phone that shit WILL blow up / malfunction for SURE
🎢 uses TONS OF EMOJIS !!!!! 😍😍😝🤪😋🤩AND CAPS AS WELL!!! 🥳😽✌️👅🗣️
🎢Mikey live reaction when you ask if he’s upset that you asked him to tone it down a notch with the texting on a busy day:
🎢 Will lowkey tone it down with the emojis when he finds out some ppl find it cringe, but with his angels cakes ???????? 🫵 YOU BET 🗣️ HE WILL SHOW YOU WITH IT 💋🫦💅🏻🤳🏼💃🏻🕺🏽🙈🦋🌺🧡🌚🌻🔥💥🌟
🎢Will accidentally send you some random ass emoji that wasn’t supposed to be on the context of the text, also the autocorrect is def not his friend
Mikey : how’s it going baby gorila
Mikey: babygirl*
Mikey:
Mikey: I’m sorry
🎢 adds emojis to very contacts in his t-phone:
Leo: Leader of the pack 🐺 🐢 🫡
Donnie: Eistein 📚🧬⚗️ (Raph also shares this name on his t-cell)
Raph: Murderous teddy bear 🧸 🧨
Splinter: Mafia Boss 🪤 (no one knows about this name tho)
April: Chanel N.6 🎤(or World of Apes 🦧 lmao)
Casey: New York Hockey League 🏒
Vern: Some dude (adds 🦅 so he knows it’s Vern and not “some random dude”)
Y/n: angelcakes pookie wookie baby boo boo love of my life !!!!!! 😍🥰👀🧚🏻♂️
🎢Mikey live reaction when Raph yells at him to stop flooding the chat, followed by mikey texting him “make me” (they are sitting next to each other):
Donnie
🔭Huge blocks of it in the speed of light. many topics, many questions and also explanations at just one sitting
🔭But won’t hold back on a smart ass short cut response for one his brothers (literally has the sharpest tongue)
🔭Will hardly uses emojis, only when it’s a single text to express an emotion (most current used emojis: 🤓when he does something impressive 💜: for y/n 🙄: when venting about something annoying Leo / Mikey / Raph did)
🔭Will want to discuss random ass problems he has encountered in his projects, in forums online, specially if you ever show interest in debating / doesnt hold back into showing your strong opinions
🔭 Has named their brothers as “Failed Lab Experiments” and managed to color code their messages (has the only t-phone that has this feature)
🔭Donnie creating the most unique and smartass way to charge his phone just cuz he can:
🔭Deadass his reaction when texting his crush 👀:
🔭 Has modified Mikey’s phone so he doesn’t have access to emojis for a whole week after his baby brother decided to spam him “out of no where” (after Donnie won consecutively 10 Mario Kart matches AND ate the last 2 slices of cold pizza)
🔭Result: mikey spammed EVEN MORE and only spoke to EVERYONE by Japanese emojis. Leo and Raph begged demanded that donnie install his emojis back cuz they were DONE with the whole situation
Failed lab experiment N.4: ( ๑‾̀◡‾́)σ" °˖✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧˖° (♡´౪`♡)
Failed lab experiment N.1: Stop.
Failed lab experiment N.4: ┬┴┬┴┤ᵒᵏ (･_├┬┴┬┴
Failed lab experiment N.4: (;﹏;)
Failed lab experiment N.2: You stupid IDIOT
Failed lab experiment N.2: look what you've done now he’s sad
🔭 Donnie also has to deal with his brothers thinking he is their personal Google (he will always answer their questions, even out of spite):
Failed lab experiment N.4: Donnie what’s a Cochlear implant
Successful lab experiment: A small, complex electronic device that can help to provide a sense of sound to a person who is profoundly deaf or severely hard-of-hearing. The implant consists of an external portion that sits behind the ear and a second portion that is surgically placed under the skin.
Failed lab experiment N.4: :0 yikes
Failed lab experiment N.4: Okay thanks!!!!
Successful lab experiment: Stop asking me stuff when you can just Google it.
Failed lab experiment N.4: But I like talking to you 🙀😔
Failed lab experiment N.4: You are my favorite turtle Siri!!! 😉
Successful lab experiment: I’d prefer if I wasn’t... Also, why are you curious about cochlear implants?
Successful lab experiment: Mikey?
Successful lab experiment: Mikey!!!!!
(He still doesn’t know why)
Raph
🥊 Barely uses emojis. Lowkey barely texts? doesn't see the appeal to it, rather prefer to hang out with you 1 on 1 than being far away from you (will never ever admit to it. maybe after 3 years in a relationship)
🥊as a friend: he wont be the one spiking a conversation, but might keep going if he's truly bored (this is prone to happen during daylight / evening when they still can't go out) but will probably be the one to ask to hang out when he needs an outlet and such
🥊*sees messages* eh i'll reply later *completely forgets about it*
🥊 will effortlessly take the most breath-taking pictures of new york during patrol and send it to you
🥊 if you are already his s/o / someone he trusts: will most likely text you to ask about stuff (if you need anything or something he needs from topside) or to diss / vent / gossip about his brothers
🥊 will send embarrassing pictures of his brothers to you cuz he can't deal with that shit alone lmao
🥊 will either be pretty clueless with the most random ass stuff or out of propose just to tease you:
y/n: jniasunoakpfa
raph: what was that
y/n: keyboard smash?
raph: how do i do that
y/n: just press anything
raph: 7
🥊 Raph Live reaction as soon as he realizes he has feelings for you:
🥊 Also Raph Live reaction when he comes to terms with this feelings and has an excuse to ignore Leo (even if he doesnt like texting) just bc he can ignore Leo as he pleases:
Leo
🎏 Perfect texts
🎏 looks like an email/letter sometimes
🎏 to most people: 1 message with divided topics. pretty direct
🎏 when he can't reply right away: "Hello. I'm happy you wrote to me. I try to reply promptly but currently I'm not available at the moment-" Like omg bro RELAX.
🎏 to his s/o: 70% direct, the other 30% likes to send little reminders, either with songs or pretty things she has seen during a patrol with a "thinking of you" message. lowkey romantic when he doesn't even mean to be, def shows how thoughtful he is
🎏 prefers to call you rather than texting. especially if you are dating/has a crush on you he might not even realize why he likes calling you so much, until it hits like a brick that he just wants to hear your voice
🎏Leo when he calls you and doesn't know when to "intervene" / his time to talk back (god forbid he's unpolite and interrupts you):
lowkey him listening to April vent about smth dumb shit Casey did /any human friend venting and he doesnt know how to react lmao
🎏Just like Donnie, has favorite emojis and will only use it in specific situations (this will take time for it to happen, like after years Donnie first invented the t-phone and finally relized he didn't had to be so formal when texting): 🐢 when talking about team work or his brothers / 🪷 for meditating or mindfulness (thinks its peaceful) / 💙 for his boo and his boo only / 😏 only in a relationship, especially when he's feeling scipy (extremely rare for it to happen over text tho)
——————————————————————————
Group chat (more than one reaction)
💚 catching social cues irl can be hard, you are telling me there are hidden social cues in texting too??
💚 “Nah shut up” group, doesn’t care much about it and won’t change their ways: Leo, Raph
💚 Will research about it, will talk to every single human he knows (yes. you. Vern. Casey and April) Needs to know the social cues. NOW: lmao try to guess
💚 Also needs to know, but for meme reasons, he has to say up to date w the terminology/ slangs: another hard guess /j
💚 Oh btw, Donnie totally uses /j /Tw /srs terminology WHILE he texts fast AND huge text blocks. none of his brothers know how he does it
💚Will over use fresh lingo he has learned overhearing humans on patrol, shows, from his humans friends to the point it’s almost unbearable: Mikey
💚Live reaction of Raph and Leo trying to understand when Mikey or Donnie spamming the group chat with their extremely recent memes or hyperfixations:
💚the chat WILL be flooded with things related to their favorite basketball teams, show they want to see or dumbass pictures of their daily lifes, example:
Mikey: *has sent an selfie*
Mikey: you know y/n
Mikey:If you’re fortunate enough
Mikey: your internal organs will spend their entire lifespan in absolute darkness
Mikey: but mine?
April: oh boy here we go
Mikey: Hasn’t. 😏😏😏
Y/n: Oh?
Mikey: *send another selfie flexing muscles* you see when you fight crime everyday-
Raph: yeah he shallowed a glow stick
#visually this looks a hot mess I apologize#did i add a bunch of my old incorrect quotes on this?#yes i did#i regret nothing#tmnt headcanons#tmnt x reader#2003 tmnt#tmnt bayverse turtles x reader#2003 tmnt x reader#2007 tmnt#mm tmnt#teenage mutant ninja turtles 2007#giulia writes
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Submissions for the Non-Human Showdown! Including ones that are invalid!
Fang (x2)
“🦈🦈🦈”
“He's Fang ❤”
Cody Jr (x2)
“Cody Jr! No! Not Aunty Heather!”
Mr Coconut (x2)
“The og. Should have won every season /serious”
vince the alligator (x2)
“SWEEEEP”
“The lore… so immaculate”
the don box (x2)
“bzzz i have a stupid fucking clue for you. ah fuck the interns put me in a lame outfit again”
“what id don on about he's slaying in that shirt”
wt pineapple (x2)
“ALEPINEAPPLE FOREVER!!!”
“👅🐍🐍🐍🐍”
Irene the fish (x2)
“shes so beautiful i’d kiss her too”
“The final remaining member of Team Victory after DJs elimination, Irene went on to win the million and the hearts of many.”
the chrarry baby (x2)
“Goo goo gaa gaa”
“ive got my eye on u chris mclean”
Princess Beth Doll
“I WANT TO BUY ONE SO BAD IRL!!!!! Also, this too is yuri”
Old Jester from reboot S2ep9
“I love when Damien hugged him! That's scene is soooo cute. Also I love fluffy animal!”
Bobo :)
“SEASON 2 SPOILERS Bobo is the name of the bear that had the Raj mask in season 2 episode 12 :) idk I just think he’s silly”
DJ’s bunny
the Chris-shaped cake that Julia's group made
“I wanna eat that thang”
Dramarama Cody
“He's an alien”
Theodore (MK's stuffed unicorn)
(the arts and crafts) Shed (from season 1)
“shed sweep”
that evil little seal from wt
“sooo little and evil. who can hate him”
caleb rock
“possibly the best version of him out there”
the skull duncan carved for courtney
“you cant deny how iconic it was”
eva’s mp3 player
“the most important character in td history”
heather’s various hairstyles
“possibly the most diverse and versatile entity in td historu”
pahkitew island
“The best one”
Myself
“:^)”
ryan seacrests car
“very fast”
chef's car (total dramarama and gen 4)
“MY CAR!!!!!”
alien clone cody
“AAAAAAA*explodes into green goo*”
chris's wig
“wiggin”
heather's wig
“wiggin”
total drama yum yuk happy go time candy fish tails
“You ate it!”
trents five finger shirt
“5”
princess courtney CD
“all the greatest hits!”
owens butt
“fart”
anne maria’s hair style
“Ey im walkin here”
bridgettes surfboard
“BONK”
the fake antlers from the paintball ep
“Duncney”
manitobas fedora
“served!”
beary <3
“it’s LITERALLY beary”
ripper’s world record breaking fart
“he did it”
the portrait of cody as blue boy in wt
“funny looking”
sierra’s pizza box-cum-laptop*
“she uses the internet AND eats witj it. shes a genius”
*Mod Note: this refers to cum meaning: combined with; also used as (used to describe things with a dual nature or function).
waynes accent
“Eh we play hockey eh”
mal ventriloquist doll
“aaah im evil mal doll”
alejandro puppet
“we do a little trolling”
Chef 2.0
“He made him from a cashew”
Mt. Kīlauea
“She has the mercy to have her lava not hot enough to kill Alejandro, Ezekiel, and that random intern like... Everyone say "thank you" or somethin idk. Do you think she feels bad that Alejandro ended up in a robot suit because”
Immunity idol s4-5
“They ruined it's design in the reboot boooooooo”
MK's infernape
“Listen, she's a gamer and she's based. She would totally pick chimchar in bdsp. She probably hates people who tells her to "play platinum" because that was a game made for old people.
Try and exclude this submission, I dare you. There's nothing that says I can't submit theoretical non-humans. There's a non-zero chance that MK has an Infernape and I know it's been raised to have some awesome sneaky move. If you exclude this, I bet you'd allow "Mike's Torterra" because only a grass type fan would be a fire type and MK hater!!
Julia would keep her piplup unevolved and beat her console into tiny bits when she gets to Cynthia btw”
the drone of shame
“[picks up victim and flies away] wheeee”
that giant bowl of rice they fall into in japan
“mm giant bowl of rice”
noah’s dog
“his epic dog”
celine dion cardboard cutout
“love fucking wins #duncney”
the face huggers from Area 51
“rip tyler”
ezekiel MISSING milk carton
“Sad! He died.”
the eagle chris shot and killed
“someone arrest this man. again”
the confessional
“it’s always there for you”
geoff’s splinter
“OW”
the bread from codys pants
“man i need to rewatch island. i fucking love the pants bread”
That ice cream snowman from SMS
“LISTEN. JUST BECAUSE HE IS FROM THE EPISODE THAT SHALL NOT BE NAMED DOES NOT MEAN YOU CAN NOT GIVE HIM HIS RESPECT”
bear
“the one from raptear specifically. let's go lesbians”
that pizza chase threw the challenge for
“clearly he should be with it rather than emma. chemma? chipper? chazee? nope never fucking heard of them”
Momma's Spice
“*sprinkles it on op's head* mmmm tasty”
The Gilded Chris award
WT barf bags
“give a real f to those guys. never appeared after episode 7.”
the toxic marshmallow of loserdom
“killer of staci's hair”
The lavatory confessional
“bitch is iconic. 6/8 is a passing mark!!!”
Courtney's PDA
“why wouldnt they call it a phone idk but its so camp”
The Cassowaries
“Male cassowaries are responsible for raising the young. We love an involved father.”
Fire-breathing winged mountain goats
“You could make an Undertale reference with this (also they're really cool)”
Giant Beetle
“Dott shippers will like this one”
Mutated Maggots
“They're pretty cute!”
Six-Legged Rats
“ADORABLE EEEEEEEP!!!!”
scott bird
“what a beautiful bird”
Chef's car
“It may play a role in mkulia canon”
Gethin
that rainbow porridge in episode 8 of the reboot
“aw hell naw chris cookin up the gay porridge”
The cassowary that fell in love with Zee
“We love an iconic single mother looking for love”
The rat in the cargo hold that appears on screen for 0.5 seconds during Ezekiel's solo in "Come Fly With Us"
“That rat really carried the whole song. Iconic. Astounding. Never before seen talent. Lady Gaga is shaking in her Demonias.”
The Erymanthian Boar
“It wrecked Duncan's shit in Greece.”
The dock of shame
“So many teens walked on her, i think she deserves some recognizion”
gwen's blender necklace
Zoey's hamster (Miss Puffycheeks)
“It's cute and can punch a cat, need I say more?”
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Wanted to make sure you saw this, Goldy. First a big, bad football player and now, one of THE toughest sports...a hockey player. I'll put the link it the messages.
Huh????
Gay as in capital G GAY??
The Karma of it all!!!!!
God is good all the time. He don't want no ugly. And they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles and they shall run, and not be weary; they shall walk, and shall not faint for God is good and loves him some gays. My God lives.
Who spaketh evil against thee gays??
Rise and be struck with shame and disgrace from the lord most high.
TELL ME!
IS ANYONE STRAIGHT IN THIS HOUSE!!!
Is anybody straight in this balloon???
This is all the straight Jeon Jungkook is allowed to be but his sins are forgiven.
All the lesbians say GAYYYYYEAH!
Photo: Daddy Jimin and his boyfriend Jk
Gotta shout out my queens you know👅
"We pledge to do everything possible to ensure that Luke's experience is a welcoming and affirmative one and continue to work to ensure that any current or future NHL Player contemplating following in his trailblazing footsteps knows our League is ready to provide full support,"
Now that is the most articulate most eloquent string of words I ever heard since Jiminah Saranghae.
I actually cried reading that.
I know BigHit finna write something much more musical should the time come for anyone who wants to come out.
We pledge, followed by we support and we love. It's not enough to say you support gay people when you don't hold yourself to a duty, however self imposed and assigned, to create a space and environment conducive where gay people are safe to exist within and feel welcomed to be whoever they want to be.
This may be taking the time to unlearn any preconceived notions about gayness. Unlearn the instinctive need to pathologize us and see us as a deviation from the norm. Stop assuming gayness is a mental illness, stop assuming it's a perversion that can be sanctified through prayers and baptism.
Stop the microaggressions.
A femboi is not an insult. Gay is not an insult. It's an identity so stop treating it like an insult. Stop looking down on the femininity in men or the masculinity in women. Stop marginalizing queer people. Be a decent human being.
I'm happy. But I'm sad. But I'm happy.
We've come this far...
"We are all not hairdressers."
What a good time to be gay.
Thank you ye bearer of good news. Go and sin no more. I purpleth thee💜💜💜💜
Signed,
Christain gay Goldy
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