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queenlucythevaliant · 2 years

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To Pray in Poetry

Unhappy that I am, I cannot heave my heart into my mouth.

Ah, awful weight! Infinity

Pressed down upon the finite Me!

Your beauty shakes me who was once serene;

Straight through my heart the wound is quick and keen.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.

And I love you

with one hemisphere of my brain,

the dumb one, which forgets.

Is there a murderer here? No. Yes, I am.

I wanted the gold, and I sought it;

I hurled my youth into a grave.

Forgive, forgive, that I mistook

Too many others for you.

Bright star, would I were steadfast as thou art—

Thy love is such I can no way repay;

I would not wish any companion in the world but you.

Say over again, and yet once over again,

That thou dost love me.

Let me look at your face and see a heaven worth having.

I am not resigned to the shutting away of loving hearts in the hard ground.

For always we are following a light,

With groping hands

We stretch toward this glory

Amen

(William Shakespeare, King Lear 1.1.100-101 // Edna St. Vincent Millay, “Renascence,” line 83-84 // Geoffrey Chaucer, “Rondel of Merciless Beauty,” lines 12-13 // Pablo Neruda, “One Hundred Love Sonnets XVII” line 9 // Mary Karr, “ Diogenes Tries to Forget,” lines 12-14 // William Shakespeare, Richard III 5.3.196 // Robert Service, “The Spell of the Yukon, lines 1 & 4 // Anna Akhmatova, “The Evening Light,” lines 11-12 // John Keats “Bright Star,” line 1 // Anne Bradstreet, “To My Dear and Loving Husband,” line 9 // William Shakespeare, The Tempest 3.1.65-66 // Elizabeth Barrett Browning, “Sonnets from the Portuguese XXI,” lines 1-2 // Ruth Awad “In the gloaming, in the roiling night,” line 5 // Edna St. Vincent Millay, “Dirge Without Music,” line 1 // Amy Lowell, “The Lamp of Life,” lines 1-3)

#i guess this is found poetry??#but really i just start so many of my prayers like cordelia #unhappy that i am i cannot heave my heart into my mouth #i'm reminded that the Spirit intercedes in groans too deep for words #there's no need to go find a bunch of other poems from my 'favorite poetry compilation' word doc and link it together into a prayer #and yet #here we are #only Thou art holy #intertextuality #pontifications and creations #i changed one pronoun and cut like two words but other than that this is all from various other poems per the citations #oh also i added the 'amen'#:)#Leah poetry #literature makes us more human

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gut-wrenching · 3 years

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Diogenes Tries to Forget

It’s one of those days when everything is half-off, half-on. My shirt, for example, which I notice is buttoned wrong while staring in the diner window. I think I want a slice of pecan pie, some life sweeter than this, like my childhood in Texas. There’s no pie today, just you, by accident again, bent over your coffee like the “V” the geese fly south.

It’s a fall day. Because we’re melancholy, we kick leaves, pick up rocks to consider tossing them at dogs. I only breathe with one lung since you’re gone, you say. And I love you with one hemisphere of my brain, the dumb one, which forgets.

Mary Karr

#mary karr #love

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venus-says · 5 years

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Aikatsu Friends! Episodes 58-63

Smiles are the seeds that bloom into flowers of happiness.

Me? Posting Aikatsu again? Oh boy, I think I’m sick. XD

Okay, jokes aside, aikatsu is back in the blog. I promise I still like aikatsu, the thing is, the subs come out very late and I kinda forget about it because I have stuff to do, and since doing these without subs ain’t the best idea (you gonna see why in a minute) the episodes end up pilling up. I’m a mess, sorry. XD

But anyway we got a lot to cover so let’s get going.

Episode 58 is the start of the Sorbet Kingdom ark.

So to starters, I have to apologize. I always very mad about the whole borders situation last time I did this mostly because I thought Sorbet was like an entire country and what they’ve shown us was just the capital, but from this episode is clear that this isn’t the case. Sorbet is either a city-state or a microstate, pretty much like what Monaco is (the difference being Monaco doesn’t have a king, when sorbet has one), so denying their visa wouldn’t do much since they were traveling to another country that has free passage to Sorbet. So I’m sorry.

Now back to the episode itself, I think they went a bit overboard with how Alicia treated the girls. I’m not saying that she should receive them with open arms and everyone be happy forever, but when you have a scene of she coldly saying that they should fuck off and in the next scene she says to let them use rooms from the castle it gives mixed signals and it just seems dumb. I think they should either had toned her coldness in the first scene and denying Hibiki in a less rash way or make Charles find another place in town to put the girls and be something like “my sister doesn’t want you all here, but I know she’s in pain and I wanna help so I’m gonna sneak you guys to X place”, either option would’ve worked better.

That little flashback about the kingdom was nice, but I don’t think it had a lot of purpose. I think it serves to show Hibiki why Alicia went back to her country and never went to meet her again, but seeing that their relationship was already going places via their text messages and phone calls, it’s odd that this was never brought up by Hibiki or Alicia. I must say for a show about friendship, people in this universe don’t seem to talk to each other at all and is just weird.

The performance... it was okay, I guess. I still don’t know why they had to perform the most basic song in their most basic outfit but I really don’t care that much. What I’m more curious about, as someone who lives in a country where snow isn’t a thing, is can you actually make a stage out of snow and have people stand on top of it without the whole thing collapsing? XD Friends from the northern hemisphere, please tell me.

One last thing before we move on, CHARLES IS ADORABLE AND HE’S THE BESTEST BOY EVER AND I WANNA HUG HIM TILL HIS OUT OF BREATHE. Thank you. XD

I kinda wanna skip talking about Episode 59, because I don’t have a lot to say about the episode itself and all I have in my mind is Mirai’s performance because that’s the only interesting thing this episode has going on for itself.

Like, LMT is there and that’s nice (even though I don’t see why they traveled separated from the main group), I didn’t really understand the whole evol ustakia thing (but those three sisters were a lot of fun), and I honestly didn’t see the point of having Tamaki flashing here and there having troubles just to upload a video.

That final scene with Hibiki and Alicia was nice, we got a little bit of the jeweling dresses lore and a lovely moment of Hibiki promising that she’ll bring everyone’s smiles back. But that’s not enough to hold the episode high.

Mirai’s performance does lift things up a bit, Nice na to meet you is an A M A Z I N G song and it was very refreshing to see something new (which for some reason it seems to be a very rare thing for friends!). This reveal could’ve been more impactful if the opening hadn’t spoiled Mirai’s dress? I believe yes. But even that can’t take away the positives of this performance that was, without a doubt, the highlight of the episode.

While 59 was meh Episode 60 was kinda good, I quite enjoyed this one, I dare to say this is the best one of this ark.

This episode goes hard on the emotional side, we all know this is the first time in the Aikatsu series we see a character die, and it is a very strong scene. Sadly it seems that all of the emotional parts were focused only on the flashbacks and they forgot of bringing this to the present a little bit.

Like, in the present we see more of Alicia’s struggle on trying to be a good ruler for the people and the country she loves while still wanting to do Aikatsu, but everything is still very undertoned. We know she didn’t want to stop Aikatsu but she had to because in her mind that was the correct thing to do, but we don’t see that being verbalized or acted in the present, we see glimpses of it which is interesting, but we could’ve seen more of that.

The main conflict of this episode works just fine, and I like how Tamaki deals with the situation, but when they pull out a kotatsu out of nowhere they lose me in that scene, like how’s that supposed to work outside? Aren’t those things electric? Where are they plugging it in????? C’mon people. I’d like much more to see more of Alicia, maybe she talking to Charles about her duties and everything so that we can see in her the desire to do Aikatsu again rather than the kotatsu scene (even though Mirai’s impression of Aine was really fun to watch).

Seeing Hibiki perform is always great, but seeing Alicia asking Hibiki to perform holds more meaning and is one of those glimpses that I mentioned that I wish we could’ve seen more. Regardless is still great and the moment when Hibiki reassures her promise to Alicia from the last episode just crown up this episode as a good one, despite its flaws.

Loose notes from the episode: Hibiki and Mirai’s competition was fun, I like Karen being the one who gets to win even though she wasn’t competing; the three sisters again are a treat like always; Charles remains the goodest boy ever and I want a plushie of him; and to top it all we got to see Honey Cat for a little bit so we know at least someone in the writing team didn’t forget they exist so, points for this episode.

Episode 61 is the polemic one.

So, the first time I saw this episode I watched it without subs and I watched it alone without watching the 3 episodes past. And at that moment it worked for me, it seemed like a good resolve for this mini-ark.

But watching now with the subs I don’t like it as much.

Don’t get me wrong, I still love Alicia’s performance and the moment she and Hibiki reconciliate is pretty good. I also appreciate having more lore in the Jeweling dresses, I feel like we desperately need a lot more info on them because so far they all just seem like a gimmick and they don’t have a purpose or reason to exist at all so any bit of info we get I’m happy.

HOWEVER.

This episode has a massive throwback, everything on this episode was build upon a lie. I get that Mio’s suggestion was supposed to be a “white lie”, a lie that causes no harm. But that doesn’t work when you make AN ENTIRE CITY LIE and tells them TO PRETEND THEY’RE LIVING AN EXPERIENCE THAT CAN GET THEM DEAD just to make their princess sing and dance on a stage. This is so selfish and so wrong. *sigh* I don’t even want to continue talking about this. Let’s just move on.

Episode 62 is a good change of pace after the low point that 61 was.

Yeah, it was silly. I have a lot of questions about how Love Me Tear got there earlier than the other, and what was the point of the frogs, and how they didn’t give much of a reaction to knowing about Karen’s house when none of them went there before.

But I’m okay with all of that because this episode was very sweet and it was good seeing the “side” girls get some attention. And how good of a combination that Reflect Moon and Wakaba was, I’m legitimately surprised I wasn’t expecting this to work so well, but they formed a very good group to follow around for this period of time.

Having two performances on this episode was a cheap move probably to fill up time but you know what? I’m not complaining. I’m just glad I got to clear my pallet from the terrible after taste last episode left in my mouth.

Episode 63 was nice. I like that they had an episode to reintegrate Alicia in the idol world. Sadly the episode had to share space with Karen's plot that wasn't as strong and interesting and makes a potentially great episode become just a regular one in the end.

And this time I'm being true to my words when I say I don' have anything else to comment about this episode. Like, Karen's dress looks good and her song is nice as well, but I like her old ones better. I don't see the point of Karen hiding to read her fan mail in the middle of the night. And most of Alicia's adapting process was very fun but there's not a lot there to create a conversation on my eyes.

Like, my brain didn't have a lot of work going on while I was watching it, it was a nice watch to just space out a bit while I was thinking in the job application I just dropped in the mayor's office today. I'm sorry if I wasn't as invested in this one as I was for the other ones I promise to dedicate myself more next time FOR THE HONEY CAT EPISODE THAT I'M SUPER EXCITED ABOUT. See ya~ XD

#Aikatsu Friends!#aikatsu

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widdrim · 5 years

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Diogenes Tries to Forget

“I only breathe with one lung since you’ve gone,” you say. And I love you.

with one hemisphere of my brain,

the dumb one, which forgets.

- Mary Karr

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tullia · 3 years

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“diogenes tries to forget”

(Mary Karr) it’s one of those days when everything is half-off, half-on. my shirt, for example, which i notice is buttoned wrong while staring in the diner window. i think i want a slice of pecan pie, some life sweeter than this, life my childhood in texas. there’s no pie today, just you, by accident again, bent over your coffee like the “v” the geese fly south. it’s a fall day. because we’re melancholy, we kick leaves, pick up rocks to consider tossing them at dogs. i only breath with one lung since you’ve been gone, you say. and i love you with one hemisphere of my brain, the dumb one, which forgets.

#philosophy #love poetry #love poem #diogenes

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thedailykrompeer-blog · 7 years

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What a break will do to you

Winter break. Or just break, considering many of us live in the southern hemisphere of this planet. Living at a college abroad can be stressful, and an official, month-long break can be a blessing after a term full of new experiences

and demanding coursework. It can also, however, coincide with the scary moment in which you realize you have to leave behind – even if for only a very short amount of time – people and places you learned to love, and have to go back to a world that you may not recognize or feel comfortable in anymore.

Going home after term 1 was traumatic, for me. Mostar had given me kinds of friendships that I had never imagined could exist and I was afraid to leave that all behind. I thought that leaving would mean certain change and really didn’t miss Italy; I did and still do feel bad when I admit this to myself, but I didn’t even miss my family. As the month passed though, I realized I was afraid to return for the same reason: I had spent a wonderful Christmas and New Year with my parents and sister (and who could forget Kenzie, my cute little Lhasa Apso dog!) and I didn’t want anything to be different, ever. I wanted to be cared for by my mom, to drive around and sing to U2 songs with my dad, I wanted to watch funny YouTube videos with my sis and cuddle Kenzie all day long.

That’s when I realized there was no going back. Ready or not, I had been launched, by choice, into the adult world, where I have to control my own eating, sleeping and exercising habits, do my own laundry, be responsible about dates, assignments and meetings, etc. And things back home were going to change, no doubt about it. The world would not stop as I lived in another bubble. Life would go on, as it should. We tend to think that when things change, it is an entirely external phenomenon; but our own, individual lives move on as well, just as everything else does. We become different people, and sometimes the outside world stays the same; yet we still feel as if it is the world that is changing, and not us.

This break for me has been an opportunity to spend time with my family according to our tradition. I don’t know how much time it will take for traditions to change; I know it will, and knowing that helped me savor every little moment without fearing times to come.

This will be a collection of short reflections by the Newspaper CAS’s core members on their respective breaks. Maybe you will find yourself in one of them.

- Melanie De Vincentiis, Editor in Chief at The Daily Krompeer

Before going back to Denmark I had a strange feeling. A feeling that was surprisingly painful. I realized that I had not been active when it came to my friends and family. I had lived my life in Mostar and put all my focus on it. All those thoughts came to me while sitting on the plane where I became quite nostalgic. That’s what being at 10000m above sea level does to me. I started thinking about the past year and particularly about the 4 months I had spent in Mostar, and that led my thoughts into a nervousness about my future weeks. Would things have changed with my friends? Maybe even with my close family? Would it change for the better or for the worse? I came out of the plane and had my family waiting with smiles and hugs. All good. We came home and we had family time. All good. We talked until we went to bed. All good. My family had not changed their view of me, and I had not changed mine. It was perfect. When I thought about the Christmas party my friends had invited me to, I got more nervous. The image of me sitting alone at the dinner, with 25 people that I had slipped away from came as a nightmare in my daydreaming.

I was welcomed by 25 faces smiling from ear to ear. I went through my experiences with my friends and realized that they just did not understand. They tried, but no. Slowly, throughout the night, I managed to talk to all of them and I realized that fortunately they were the same as I had left them. They were as good as before and so was I. What I learned from going back home is that you shouldn’t worry, because you will stick together with the people that truly matter.

- Peter Anton Borring Balle, ‘18

This winter break was one of the worst winter breaks of my entire life.

A few days before the end of the first term I broke my leg in the stupidest way ever. I was reckless and dumb; I guess that some people are just born clumsy and dull-witted. The injury was so bad that I had to undergo surgery to get it fixed and I left Mostar with a huge cast and a 15cm-long scar on my leg. Those 5 days spent at the hospital felt like a century, as if the hour-hand was going backwards. On top of that, the hospital food was way worse than the canteen food; in fact, I missed the canteen food.

When I was finally able to go back to Croatia, it felt like a huge weight had been lifted off of my chest. After arriving home I was treated like a king. Every morning my mom would knock on my door and bring me breakfast in bed with a cup of coffee. I spent most of my days binge-watching TV series because I had to catch up with everything that I had missed. However, after a few days it felt so tedious and boring. I was stuck in my bed, unable to go anywhere because of my leg and most of my friends were either busy or were out of the country. My dog, Dita, was always there for me. When playing with her I didn’t thinking about anything, my brain was empty. She hates my crutches, though; every time I would try to go somewhere she would start barking because she probably thought that I would hit her with my crutches. Such a silly girl.

Because I was unable to go anywhere or do anything, and because most of my close friends were not in the city, I talked to my parents quite a bit. Also, I am quite sure that no one’s 18th birthday party was as lame as mine was! Because of the broken leg, I had to stay at home and I had to talk to old fashioned, not liberal guests and I had to put on a mask just to not have to explain myself to them. Why would I stress myself out and get pores because of some ignorant fools? Talking to them was quite interesting; however, I found out even more interesting and shocking things about my dad. One day he told me that he has nothing against homosexuals, how he likes our gay cousin and how gay people are completely normal to him; he did, however, mention that he believes that trans people are nothing like cisgender people and that no matter how hard they try, they will never be. I have tried to explain my views to him but he just wouldn’t listen. The very next day I found out that he supports the whole idea of the Holocaust and that he thinks that it was a good thing: I was speechless. I immediately quit the conversation and left the room. A million things were going through my head. What kind of person am I living with? Why is he so ignorant and stupid? Why could anyone with a normal, functioning brain believe that the Holocaust was a good thing?

After that day, I spent most of my time in my room and with my dog. I got quite mad at my stubborn father because no matter how hard I tried, he just would not listen to me. I started questioning the people in my life at home and even myself.

- Mihael Dasovic, ‘18

After an exhausting term marked by endless nights filled with so much work and many assignments, I could not wait to go back home. I want to be honest with you - I did not do much this winter break. But everything that happened was exactly what I needed: relaxing nights in my cozy, warm room, drinking tea with my friends, going out on the snow and fooling around like a little child. It seems to me that I just forgot how beautiful and how important those small things are, and how happy they actually make me.

Out of all those stunning experiences, I choose the New Year’s Eve to talk about, because it’s a night that I will truly remember. I welcomed 2017 with my best friend as we were freezing outside at a Christmas market in my city. The Christmas market was poorly organized: a big Christmas tree with almost no decorations, a few stands with mulled wine and tea, and a rock band playing. Yet, I would not change it for anything else in the world.

I assumed that it would be a bad night because it was not as luxurious as some other events, but I was wrong. Initially, I did not want to go because it was extremely cold outside, and I thought it would be boring. I saw all these people travelling and going to fancy parties, and I guess I was just not satisfied with the plan I had made with my friend. Maybe it was childish and immature to make such assumptions, but I unconsciously did. And I feel bad about it now, because this extraordinary New Year’s Eve proved me wrong. It turned out to be one of the most beautiful nights of my life and a perfect way to end last year.

It was the first time after a long period that we had a program for the NYE in my city and everyone was very excited. There were a lot of people and the atmosphere was truly great. We did not care about the poor decorations or about the cold anymore. With the amazing music, fireworks and the excitement of everyone present, this New Year’s Eve turned out to be more than special. After counting down loudly with my fellow citizens, looking at the joy on people’s faces, kids clapping and excitingly screaming once fireworks began, hugging my best friend and celebrating with her, I was overwhelmed with emotions. I realized that I do not need a fancy party, nor an expensive trip and that I would probably not enjoy it as much as I enjoyed this small, but memorable event. It made me realize that this is what counts. These surreal moments that I will remember forever and that will always remind me of home are what actually matter in life.

- Amina Basic, Co-Director at the Daily Krompeer

#melanie.devincentiis #amina.basic #peter.anton.borring.balle #mihael.dasovic #winterbreak #reflections #featured

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