#and i still dont want to be a teacher but i am...soon going to have my B.S. in applied math

[chaterbox1237]

Okay,so hades two has just released and I want to talk about some things:

On one hand,no narrator Zagreus which was something I hoped would happen so :(

But on the other hand,NARRATOR HOMER CONFIRMED!

I already like Apollo.he’s fun.

Dora is so cute.

In the trailer I got “strict teacher vibes” from Hecate but it’s a pleasant surprise to see how soft she is with baby Mel.

Also the portrait with zag,hades,and Persephone…

(They better not be dead supergiants-)

HYPNOS WHO DID THIS TO YOU

But on the topic,I think it’ll be an Orpheus situation where the second(or even third) boss gives us an item like a divine water bucket or something that we can use to wake him up.

Oh look a reason to use the cast.

HERMES IS MISSING?SUPERGIANTS WTF DONT TELL ME THAN IS NEXT-

Okay,but I also think this could be something like in hades early access were they aluded to things that’ll be added later.

This adds up with the fact that in hades 1 Hermes was the penultimate god added and you can’t get him till asphodel(i think)

Either way he better be okay.

The character portraits range from “pretty good”to “yep this is gonna get touched up” but not in a bad way.just that the shading look kind of off

Also I already love Hephaestus and hestia.

They are hyping up hestia as a nice grandma that can go unhinged if needed and I am all for it.

As soon as I saw Odysseus I already knew It’d be hilarious if Poseidon was there and what do you know?

Speaking of,I wonder if all gods from hades 1 are gonna come back or a few are gonna get switched around.

If so then ares is probably getting shafted which makes me sad.

On that topic,Aphrodite wearing ares’ war makeup is great.

Seeing Selene made me wonder if Helios is gonna appear,but then I remembered Apollo.

But even then i still want other titans to be added like the air guys just so that we can have an Apollo/zephyr interaction if possible.(if you know you know.

If Hermes does appear in this game I wish he has duo’s with other gods.(and his own curse)

I also wish that since we see Artemis outside of the boon bubble we can have profesional associates interactions.

#hadesgame #hades game #hades supergiant #supergiant games #supergiant hades #hades 2 #hades zagreus #hades apollo #hades Dora #hades Hecate #hades hypnos #hades hermes #hades Hephaestus #hades hestia #hades Odysseus #hades ares #hades aphrodite #hades Selene #hades artemis

[diah-the-demon]

You ever just get one of those late night moments where you are having a panic attack cause you are so overwhelmed with all the work you need to get done

#THERES SO MUCH SHIT BEING DROPPED ON ME #I DONT HAVE ENOUGH MENTAL (LET ALONE PHYSICAL) ENERGY TO HANDLE ALL THIS #i have 2 pieces of work due tomorrow for college which i havent finished (then given another cus fuck me right) #AND THEN ON THURSDAY I HAVE ANOTHER PIECE OF WORK I HAVE TO HAND IN (its just a draft for a presentation i have to do but i havent done muc #on that piece of work yet) #plus my class after that which i am prob gonna get an assignment for soon (this one is ok cus i like my teacher plus its easy but still) #not to mention my regular classes which include running college restaurant so we have to do prep one day and then cook and serve the next #oh and dont get me started on how i am planning to start the process of going private for hrt soon thats a whole other #can of worms that i haven't even opened yet #UGHHHHH WHY IS THERE SO MUCH HAPPENING RIGHT NOW #IM JUST A SLEEPY GIRL WHO WANTS TO PLAY GAMES WITH MY GIRLFRIEND WHY IS THE WORLD SO MEAN TO ME #vent #i just wanna crawl up. cry and disappear

[81folklore]

dress - SV5

pairings: sebastian vettel x famous!reader (fc: taylor swift)

summary: its known that seb has been married for a few years now despite the public never seeing is wife, its also known that yn is in a committed relationship and has been since she disappeared from public eye. maybe they are more connected than people realise

authors note: i have had this idea on my mind for SO LONG so im very pleased to finally be writing it. essentially in this, yn is taylor and seb is joe but no one has ever seen him nor know his name, if that makes sense? honestly i have no clue how this will turn out but i needed to write it

authors note 2: this is set in the midnights era however i switched the songs a bit so ‘dress’ is on midnights instead of ‘sweet nothing’ and vice versa!! also ‘dress’ is going to be a single. i also apologize for how all over the place this is, especially the tweets

authors note 3: just pretend whatever says taylor swift says your name and the photos with her hands have a wedding ring!! i also got so confused when trying to screenshot the twitter stuff so the timeline ones are backwards

authors note 4??: haha didnt realise there was a 30 pic limit... pt 2 here :)

masterlist

ynupdates

liked by user3, user18 and 10,628 others

yn on her story today, possibly posting song lyrics! thoughts?

view comments

user3: NEW ERA INCOMING

user18: OH I AM SO READY FOR THIS

user13: NEW MUSIC NEW MUSIC

user66: is this hinting at her reputation era?

user13: i was just thinking this, more specifically the time just before reputation

user72: MUSIC ABOUT LOVER?? OH I AM SO HERE FOR IT

user55: if it is about lover and the time before reputation this will BREAK ME like,, HE SAW THE BEST IN HER EVEN IN HER WORST TIMES😭😭

yourusername

liked by gracieabrams, ynupdates, olliebearman and 7,277,739 others

everyone thinks that they know us, but they know nothing about…

this album has been such a rewarding piece to create and im so glad that soon enough you will all be able to listen and enjoy it with me! one thing i love in particular about this album is the song ‘dress’

dress was originally a piece i started to write when making reputation however i felt it was right to keep it to myself, to keep it between my partner and i for a little while longer. however recently our lives have been changing for the better, and while that lid of privacy will still be on, i want to share more with you guys

you have all been on this journey with me and you have treated my partner and i with the upmost respect and for that i thank you. for me dress is a letter, its statement, its a declaration of my love for him and im very grateful to be able to give this to you all

this song is one im very proud of, i really enjoyed writing this the first time, and getting to revist and polish it up felt very special to do.

dress out now on all platforms🖤

comments on this post have been limited

sebupdates

liked by user34, user5, user88 and 23,683 others

seb in suzuka with the grid at his turn 2 bee (insect) hotels,, we've missed seeing him at the track :(

view comments

user3: of course the grid come together for him :’)

user5: im not crying!! just hay fever!!

user5: oh i have missed him SO MUCH

user7: NO BECAUSE YOU DONT GET IT HES BACK

user88: DID YOU GUYS SEE THE VIDEO OF HIM HUGGING CHARLES😭😭

user34: the way he was like a teacher throughout the whole thing😭

user18: does anyone know if hes staying the whole weekend or is it like monaco??

sebupdates: we believe hes staying the whole weekend but unsure if hes with a team or not!

user18: ok thank you :)

user77: the way the first thing lewis asked him was if his wife was okay, oh what if i cry😭😭

user66: im kind of new here, have the grid met sebs wife?

user77: i know they all at least know about her and know who she is, i dont think everyone has met her but i know lewis has met her quite a bit!!

part 2!

#f1 x reader #f1 instagram au #f1 smau #f1 social media au #social media au #formula 1 insta au #formula 1 social media au #sebastian vettel x reader #sebastian vettel fanfic #sebastian vettel #famous!swift!yn

[joonsytip]

Anonymously Yours || Joshua Hong

Pairings: Joshua x Fem!Reader Genre: Fluff, Angst, Humour (broken coz mine), high school au, enemies to lovers au, strangers to lovers au, anonymously yours au. Synopsis: After an accidental text message turns into a digital friendship, you and Joshua start crushing on each other without realizing you both see each other frequently in real life. Notable Mention: You both hate each other's guts.... Word Count: 18.6k Inspired By: Mexican Flick - Anonymous yours. Warnings: profanities, Joshua acts dumb one big time, mentions of periods, tears and tears but mostly fluffy, protagonists don't know how to act around each other (lmk if I missed any) Banner credits to my baby @wannabeyourshua . Also, it's your birthday present from me, hope you like it! Taglist: @wannabeyourshua @hoeforhao @kimmych @chocolatekdramakpopfreak @starlight-night0 @alyssng @imsjane @i-dont-give-a-fok @gaebestie @meowmeowminnie @hanniehaeism

Please heart, comment and reblog, would really help to keep me going <3

[SVT Flick : Fic Masterlist] [SVT Masterlist]

Unknown Number:

[3:05 AM] Hey!

It was great meeting you! Maybe we should meet again sometime soon :)

What do you think?

You:

[3:09 AM] It's 3am for god's sake???

You got the wrong number!

Unknown Number:

[3:10 AM] Haha, not funny! It's me.

You gave me your number at the party :(

[3:12 AM] They gave you the wrong number obviously.

Now stop right there & let me sleep!!!

The blaring sound of the alarm is hurting your ears and adding to your headache.

"Ugh, I can't even sleep without getting interrupted.", you groan but manage to lift your body to do two trivial things. One, stopping that goddamn alarm. Two, checking your phone.

8 AM. The time glares back at you.

You have a class at 9, well assignment submission to be more precise and you're still in your bed, half awake, half grumpy.

Next half an hour goes in a blur as you gobble down your breakfast and smoothie that your mother makes daily, it's almost like a tradition and good part is that you don't hate it. The only bad part is that the same conversation that follows everyday of them insisting you to join the family business and you dismissing them because you have a passion that you want to turn into profession.

Currently you're waiting for your best friend, Hyerin, who's never not late to pick you up.

Some insights on Hyerin, she's your best friend, have been your friend since when you knew could pronounce that term. She's pretty, easy going, quite popular and star player of the school's tennis team.

Hyerin Calling....

You don't have to pick up that call so rather you are running straight down the block knowing that she's waiting there with her jeep.

"Babe, I'm late because of her.", she says as she points at her younger sister, Hyejoo who is seated in the backseat.

"I admit. But you know the other 99 times of 100, we're late because of whom", she immediately quips back in her defense.

You roll your eyes, bored of their banter and turn on the radio to have a vibe to jam to till you the reach the school.

As soon as you cross the threshold of the school, Hyerin is hijacked by Jeonghan, her tennis partner and Hyejoo situates herself with basketball teammates when she spots them.

And you're left alone.

And you're used to it.

The final bells rings indicating that you should be now sprinting to the class to avoid the grudges of your literature teacher.

You are with your full concentration tangling the wires of your earphones around the phone while climbing up the stairs when you suddenly bump into someone.

Your head whips up to see the other person, glaring at you having his shirt stained in coffee which he was supposed to drink.

"Sorry, very sorry", you take out your handkerchief and just as try to dap on the shirt, that person backs away.

"Please give your number, I'll pay for the dry cleaning.", you say politely.

"No need, I can pay for myself", that person grumbles, "Do me favour and from next time keep your eyes open while walking."

He says and walks away leaving you speechless and infuriated.

"What an ass, I was trying to nice.", you mutter before sprinting to the class.

Joshua is already having a bad day so when the only thing he was looking forward to, coffee from his favourite café got spilled on his shirt because of some girl who can't walk straight, he is vexed.

Fortunately, he doesn't have classes within next hour so he goes straight to basketball ground. He has been enrolled into this high school recently so he has no friends, neither he intends to make any.

He fishes out his phone and taps on a contact who's name he doesn't know and proceeds to send a text.

Joshua:

[9:35 AM] Hey, sorry for waking you up last night.

Stranger:

[9:36 AM] No worries, I fell asleep right back.

Joshua:

A heavy sleeper it seems lol.

Stranger:

[9:37 AM] You can say that. And whoever did this to you is so mean, they could have told you no instead of doing this.

Joshua:

[9:37 AM] Ikr. I was at this party last night when my best friend insisted me to ask her number coz according to him I was checking her out.

Stranger:

[9:40 AM] Didn't work out for you :(

"Hey cutie, are you new here?", Joshua who is now quietly watching the match is called out by Hyejoo.

"I am.", he responds right away.

"Wanna play with us?", Hyejoo asks twirling the ball on her index, a sly smile set on her lips.

"Yes.", Joshua simply says and jogs down to the play arena.

"Before we get started, I'm hosting a party today and you're invited.", Hyejoo says, her expecting eyes staring at him.

"Thanks for the invite but sorry I won't be attending.", Joshua replies and extends his hand, asking for the ball.

Hyejoo immediately backs down, tossing the ball , "Then you don't get to play."

"What?", Joshua's face twists in a mix of confusion and rage.

"You heard it right.", Hyejoo taunts him further.

"Are you being serious?", Joshua chuckles in disbelief, "Such a spoilt brat."

Hearing this, Hyejoo's friend Jisung walks upto him and grabs his collar in aggression, "What did you say?"

"Exactly what you heard. You're her bodyguard or what?", Joshua smirks.

And the next second a hard punch lands on his face. Just as he was about to retort the sports coach shouts, "The group over there, you're all going for detention."

A series of groans are heard.

You look around in utter disappointment. Well, detention room could and should never be appealing to anyone.

It's your fault you're here because you couldn't cure your curiosity when you saw a text from the familiar unknown number and your hands immediately to had respond back even after getting two warnings from the teacher.

Sitting idle never does you good, so you deck your bag on the desk which is going to act as a makeshift pillow and next you rest your head on it.

Joshua enters the room and the first person he spots is you, who had deprived him the privilege of drinking morning coffee.

With a scowl set on his face, he walks past you and sits on the corner most seat.

Next, a smile plasters on his face as he takes out his phone goes through the conversation between him and the stranger.

Mrs. Yoo walks in with all her glory knowing she's very much despised by the students not because she's an ass of a person but for her detention projects she puts everyone through.

You heave a sigh, unbothered to greet the teacher.

Her heels clanks sharply against the floor as she walks to the teacher's desk and taps her finely manicured nail against the table with a sickening sweet smile plastered on her face, sweet enough to make everyone else present in the room barf out.

"I'll get to the point straight. Block your calendars for Saturdays & Sunday, 2 to 5, every week.", she orders, unphased by the string of protests coming in.

You exchange glances with Hyejoo, who looks equally terrified.

"But I have classes", you speak up, "And I guess everyone has some or other sort of commitments as well."

"That's for you and everyone else to manage. Should have thought before.", she points her eyes at you and moves on, "I'll create a gc and add everyone of you. So the venue of next meetup will be shared across. And I want full attendance.", her voice holds the authority and every single being present there knows that they would be attending otherwise the wrath of Mrs. Yoo is not something anyone would like face.

Sundays are no more Fundays.

Hyerin's are rich rich. So whenever her parents are out of town for business, both the sisters throw parties and invite the whole town, okay not whole but they'll be almost there soon.

And you are present in each of them, as a pure obligation and to be a good friend to Hyerin.

Parties are not your thing, it never was and it's safe to say it will never be. Because your social batteries are weak and that's why while everyone is doing beer pongs or fuzzy duck or whatever questionable things, you sit by the pool, in calm, legs dipped in the cold water.

"Oh there's my girl!", you hear Hyejoo as she sits beside you.

"Congrats, you found me.", you shrug and swing your legs lightly in the water, making a brief eye contact with her.

"Thanks for coming.", she says leaning on her shoulders, "I know parties are not your thing but your presence matters. And thanks for these dresses? Like I don't know how you do it everytime, you have magic in your hands ."

"Don't go all sappy on me, Joo.", you chuckle and lay your head on hers, "But thanks for the words."

"Anything for you, love.", she smiles and closes her eyes basking in your presence until she hears a call of her name.

"Gotta go.", she immediately gets up and sprints to the hall as she yells, "Tell me whenever you wanna leave, I'll drop you off!"

You shake your head and take out your phone.

You:

[9 PM] You there?

Unknown Number :

[9:01 PM] Hey!

Just pulling a marathon of Victorious.

[9:02 PM] Cool! Cat Valentine my love.

Do you like parties?

Unknown Number:

[9:04 PM] Depends on the people, both accompanying and hosting.

What about you?

You:

[9:05 PM] I don't exactly like parties.

I'm that miserable wallflower :(

Unknown Number:

[9:07 PM] Come on, you're not miserable, it's just that you don't feel it, you're not into it.

You :

[9:09 PM] Maybe....

Joshua stares at the phone screen a little longer before chucking the phone on the bed. He sighs and his thoughts drift away to the same old wistful thinking.

There's a knock on the door and he hums in acknowledgement, allowing the person to enter.

"Make space for me, I'm tired.", Mingyu is already nudging Joshua who lets out a grunt but shifts anyway.

"If you're tired, go to your home and sleep on your bed.", Joshua remarks in an agitating tone but both of them know that he's actually far from that.

Mingyu laughs and snuggles closer to him, "That's not how you treat your best friend.", he playfully quips, "I have a match on Sunday, you're coming right?"

"When have I missed any of your matches?", Joshua rolls eyes, "Mixed Doubles?"

Mingyu nods, "The practice is thinning me tired.", he then taps on Joshua's arm and the later extends his arm so Mingyu can lay his head on.

"How's new school?", Mingyu asks.

A bit of silence before Joshua answers, "It's okay."

"Made new friends?", Mingyu asks with concern.

"No. Don't wanna.", Joshua says, "I'm just doing it because I have to."

"Tried talking to your mom about this?"

"Gyu", he trails off even though he has so much to say.

"I'm all ears Josh. Even if it's the same old talk, I'm willing to listen. Please tell me.", he insists.

"I had promised dad, that I'd become like him.", Joshua stills when that exact memory flash in front of his eyes, "After his death, I have fully devoted myself to studies so that I can get accepted to the best law academy. My mom always keeps on encouraging me and I know she wants to keep my dad's profession alive through me because she thinks I'm as much interested She's not at fault for doing so but..."

Mingyu waits with all the patience in the world, just for his friend to pour out everything, so that it hurts him less, so that his suffocation lessens even if in miniscule amount.

Pouring out is always better than bottling in.

Joshua relents for a moment but he knows that the listener is never going to judge him, that he's always there to share the burden so he continues, "When I was younger it was fascinating, I wanted to become lawyer but in recent years I don't feel the same. Heck, I don't even know what I like or what I'd like to have in as a career but it's definitely not something in law."

Mingyu listens and he worries a lot about his best friend because he knows that Joshua isn't particularly vocal and impulsive. He's neither outspoken nor indecisive.

If it had been him, Mingyu would have relayed his thoughts to his parents and worked a way out but it's not him.

It's Joshua.

It's Joshua, who would never willingly hurt his mother, even if it costs his mental health and choices.

It's Joshua, who on Mingyu's fifteenth birthday gifted him a Yonex Racket because Mingyu wanted one from long time but his parents weren't interested to invest in such an expensive racket. It had costed Joshua all his savings. It also costed Joshua his ears for all the scoldings he got from his and Mingyu's parents.

Mingyu is perceptive.

Joshua is also perceptive except for times when it comes to himself.

"Take your time Josh. We're too young to be worried about stuffs.", Mingyu says and turns to the other side, "Set the alarm at 6. I have practice."

"You're so bothersome.", Joshua quips with no seriousness instead setting the alarm on his phone but only after kicking Mingyu on his shin, "Go change into something comfortable atleast."

Mingyu just hums and Joshua pulls over the comforter.

Mrs. Yoo stands patiently and all the students wonder why in the world they are standing outside an abandoned playground.

"I am gonna divide everyone in teams of two and you're gonna paint the walls of this playground.", Mrs. Yoo smiles wide as she sees the distress showcasing on the faces of her students, "and do gardening."

"What's the meaning of us doing all this?", you voice out in genuine concern.

"To make you all aware of the privileges you have been availing all your life.", Mrs. Yoo answers, "And I decide when the detention will be over so behave accordingly."

As if it wasn't already nauseating, Mrs. Yoo decides it's best if you pair up with Joshua Hong.

The same Joshua Hong who can't look at you without glaring.

"So let's start with making the soil bed", you say not looking at him as you two manage to gather some wooden sticks and tie the ends together.

Joshua hums disinterested and suddenly pours the bag containing manure into the bed without soil.

"Stop! what are you doing?", you scream as if facing a mid life crisis and he glares at you again.

You sigh, "That's not how it's done. We'll have to put a layer of soil and level it first --"

"Fine.", he cuts of you and starts pouring the soil bags one after one.

Your eye twitches and you think Joshua Hong can't be this dumb. He is definitely trying to stress you out.

"You're not helping at all, if you're doing it wrong.", you relay your mind to him and it irks you more when Joshua's response is same, it comes in form of his glare.

You glare back at him and he finally says, "Okay, do it yourself then."

He walks away and you're actually relieved because being in his vicinity is becoming the bane of your existence.

Suddenly your phone dinges and you smile looking at the notifications.

Unknown Number:

[3:26 PM] I'm having a really bad day ಠ_ಠ

You:

[3:28 PM] Yours wouldn't even compare to mine.

There's this boy whom I really can't tolerate but we keep on meeting.

Unknown Number:

[3:29 PM] Lol Same! There's a girl and I don't want her to even breath in my direction.

You: [3:30 PM] Damn, we're in same predicament huh.

Unknown Number:

[3:31 PM] Guess so... Gotta go, bye.

You:

[3:32 PM] Bye bye! He's coming towards me again, gosh ༎ຶ⁠‿⁠༎ຶ

Unknown Number:

[3:32 PM] Goodluck, I guess...

Joshua laughs as he sends the text. The lingering smile on his face immediately vanishes when his eyes lands on you.

"Do you prefer to paint with brush or rollers?", you ask Joshua who's busy watching something on his phone.

He presses pause button on the screen and looks at you, "First of all, I can't paint to save my life.", he states, "So brush or rollers doesn't matter. It's same for me."

You nod and hand him a roller, "You won't be much help here too, so please do a favour and with start painting the walls these rollers, roll up vertically please. Don't change the direction."

"Who are you to order me around?", Joshua glares at you.

You think you are going to get hernia because of stress he's giving you lately.

"I'm someone who knows how to paint so instead of running your mouth why don't you try utilising those hands of your?", you spat out and turn around walking to the opposite side.

Joshua sees red.

He thinks he's going to have appendicitis because of the stress you're causing him.

You smile looking at the beautiful hues in the paint buckets.

Atleast something is able to calm your nerves.

"Don't you think he's handsome?"

Suddenly an arm is thrown over your shoulder that almost causes you to topple to the front.

"Who?", you quirk your brows questioningly at Hyejoo.

"Duh, who else your  partner. Joshua Hong.", she answers and turns you around so now you have to look at Joshua again.

You squint eyes at him, "He definitely looks good but he's an asshole."

Hyejoo smirks, "Really? I thought he's a cutie. Anyways, I like him."

You make gagging noises, "You have had not less than thousand crushes and that's totally cool but please not him."

"As if I'd listen to you."

"Yeah whatever. Maximum a week and then you will get to a new guy as always.", you mumble, "So fine."

Hyejoo leaves after Mrs. Yoo warns her to not pester anyone.

You sigh in relief and take out your phone.

You:

[4 PM] Whatcha doing'

Unknown Number:

[4:01 PM] Something I don't know how to do...

You:

[4:02 PM] Lol why?

Unknown Number:

[4:03 PM] Pure Compulsion.

You:

[4:03 PM] Ugh sucks.

Unknown Number:

What sucks more is when you have no one who understands you.

You:

[4:04 PM] Know that feeling.

I feel like no one understands me as well.

Unknown Number:

We have been talking for few days now and we don't even know each other names.

So may I know your name?

You stare at your phone screen, re-reading the text that had just appeared. Suddenly a pleasant idea pops in your mind and you happily type that away.

You:

[4:08 PM] I have an idea.

We won't share our names, any personal details, voices messages or pictures.

We'd be anonymous and get to know each other for real.

What say?

Joshua's face morphs into something that's both confusing and amusing. He doesn't think much finding it fun to try something new.

Joshua:

[4:10 PM] Let's that do.

Anonymous, saved.

Anonymous :

[4:10 PM] Anonymous, Saved :)

Joshua stands up holding the roller and tries to follow what you said. He dips the roller into the paint bucket containing orange paint and starts rolling it up vertically section wise.

He is having fun, too much fun that he accidentally spills the colours on the white tee shirt he is wearing underneath the jacket.

"What the hell?", he grunts, looking at his now stained tee, "Why doesn't anything work out for me?"

He feels emotional all of a sudden. He feels vulnerable, every thoughts that were pushed at the back of his mind starts to resurface.

He remembers the day he lost his father.

He remembers the moment when the girl he liked left the city one day and never came back.

He remembers --

"Hey, are you okay?"

Joshua hears you and falters at the tone of concern in your voice.

He simply nods and faces the wall.

"I can help you", Joshua stiffens but immediately relaxes when you say further, "to fix your tee."

"Do you have spare clothes?"

Joshua turns to face you and nods.

"So go get changed now and give me this tee.", you state and he throws an incredulous look.

"Are you planning to ruin my tee?", he asks, "What are you gonna do with it?"

"You'll see.", you say rolling eyes, "Hurry up, we don't have forever."

Joshua gets changed and hands you the tee.

You search your bag and take out your sewing kit.

Joshua sees your hands skim through the bag again and this time you fish out a bunch of cloth patches.

Next hour passes in a blur as you cut the ends of threads with scissor.

"It's done I guess.", you sigh and look at Joshua, "Manageable? Looks descent?"

He gapes at the tee in your hand and then he gapes at you.

You think he's cute with those bambi eyes resembling that of deers.

He is shaken out of trance by your light nudge.

"Woah, you're....", he manages to speak out, "so good... You gave this tee a whole new look and it's obviously trendier then the previous one."

You smile at his compliments. A smile that doesn't reach your eyes.

"Glad you liked it." you hand him the tee and start to assemble all the scattered tools and clothes putting them in your bag.

Then without another word, you get up and start to walk away.

Joshua ponders as he sees your figure diminishing from his sight, "Why did she look sad even if I was complimenting her?"

"Damn, did you see that!!", you scream absolutely astonished when Hyerin & Jeonghan won the break point of the game, leading the first set 5-3.

"That's my sister!", yells Hyejoo and looks at you, "She's so good, if she wasn't my sister, I'd have been a fan."

The next game starts soon with Jeonghan doing the first serve and that ends quickly both of them sweeping the game with 40-0. Mingyu and his partner Seji are down by a set.

"Come on Mingyu! You can do better than this!"

You heard a very familiar voice not from far and crane your neck to see Joshua cheering up the opponents.

Must be his friends from previous school, you think.

"Oh my god, Josh's here too.", Hyejoo squeals and you roll eyes choosing to ignore her.

You are recording the match when you feel Hyejoo fleet from your side and it doesn't take a genius to figure out she's going to Joshua.

With the camcorder still recording you turn and through the lens you see a very agitated Joshua who's constantly ignoring whatever Hyejoo is saying.

A smile creeps upon your face.

Joshua suddenly turns and your gazes meet through the lens.

And you freeze.

Joshua squints his eyes at you before walking away and towards the players resting area which makes you realize that the opponents won the second set and you should be doing the same.

You hurriedly run over only to see a pissed off Jeonghan which is scary because the guy is always full of mischiefs and is a moodmaker.

"What happened Han?", you ask and the stare he gives you is enough to regret speaking up.

"Seji, she's his ex Y/N.", Hyerin explains further, "They used to play together and since they didn't end up on good terms it's kinda hard for him to see her and play against her." That clicks, why Seji seemed so familiar to you.

You give a nod of understanding and next you're crouching in front of him and he looks at you in confusion, "Whatever that happened must have happened for a reason and it's all in the past Han. I think it's an opportunity for you."

Jeonghan perks up, "Opportunity?"

"Yes opportunity.", you pat his arm, "For you to get over her and to discard all those lingering feelings. Also to get the cup and lift that trophy. You could have it all sorted Han, it's your now or never moment."

Hyerin listens to you mesmerized and Jeonghan cracks an all toothy grin.

"Thanks Y/N.", he acknowledges, "For making me see things clearer."

You get and huff, "I don't want your thanks. Just win this match and treat me to BRs."

"Okay deal.", Jeonghan extends his pinky and you hook yours to his.

"There's still time, strategize your play", you say looking at the timer, "All the best guys!", and you run away.

"Thank God, Seji has gone to washroom.", Mingyu sighs in relief, "She's already pissed off since she knew we're playing against Jeonghan and if she heard all this, I'd be in trench because you can't motivate the shit to Seji like that girl did."

Joshua glares at his best friend, "Why is this falling on me? Neither I'm playing with you, nor I'm the ex boyfriend. So keep me out of it. If Y/N impresses you that much why don't you ask her for motivation directly."

Mingyu smirks, "Oh Y/N it is. Joshua Hong why do I get this feeling that you're not on good terms with her? I mean your tone says that."

Damn Kim Mingyu for knowing his best friend so well.

Joshua scoffs, "I think you have better things to worry about.", he gets up, "If you loose today, I won't allow you crash at my place for a month."

Mingyu dramatically gasps, "Are you in your right mind? You're scaring me Josh, please don't do this."

"So win this match.", Joshua smirks, 'Think this as your motivation to win."

Mingyu and Seji loose the match.

While you are celebrating with your Hyerin, Jeonghan and Hyejoo, Joshua is getting pestered by Mingyu.

"Are you serious right now?", Joshua asks in disbelief, "You just lost to them and know you want to know if Hyerin is single?"

Mingyu nods quietly liked a kicked puppy but he has no shame at all.

"Really?", Joshua asks again to confirm and when Mingyu doesn't respond he kicks his shin, "Fine. I'm going."

Joshua trudges through the crowd to find someone.

He finds you.

"Hey", he greets and you just nod at him.

"Uh can you help me with something?", he tries to sound as polite as possible, "I just wanted to know something."

"Go ahead."

Though he's cursing at Mingyu in his mind, nonetheless he asks, "You're good friends with Hyerin right?"

"Yeah we are best friends.", you say proudly looking at her as she holds the trophy and chats with Jeonghan.

"Is she single?"

The smile drops off your face and you throw a death glare at Joshua.

"Why do you wanna know that?"

Beads of sweat accumulates on his forehead as Joshua stumbles upon his words, "I-I, well-- It's..", and he finds this sudden urge within himself to explain it you before you misunderstand further, "Mingyu, my best friend, he wants to know about her."

"Didn't he just loose a match?", you ask him while your questioning gaze is fixated at Mingyu.

"Exactly! That's what I told him", he explains, "But he's like that only so if you could tell me.."

"She's single.", you respond to shut him up.

Joshua quietly cowers away.

"She's scary.", Mingyu laughs, "I thought she was going to bite off your head."

"Asshole.", Joshua quips, "She's single. Go shoot your shot."

Mingyu's eyes twinkles and skips away immediately.

Later, Mingyu manages to get Hyerin's number.

Mingyu and Hyerin are dating.

"Please Y/N", Hyerin literally corners you in your own bedroom, "It's just a double date--"

Your face contorts in distaste, "And with whom? Joshua Hong. No. Never. We both can't tolerate each other."

"Oh come on darling", Hyerin tries to persuade you, "I have talked to him, he seems good. Plus I've heard he was the star player of his previous school's basketball team. A heartthrob, you can say."

"He's good to you, because you're his best friend's girlfriend.", then you declare, "Otherwise he's an asshole."

"He's cute.", Hyerin corrects you.

"You know Hyejoo has been crushing on Joshua for sometime right? Why don't you ask her?", you sort to your last resort.

"Please, I don't her around when I'm chilling or on dates.", Hyerin sighs, "You know she's hard to handle and we both get her but other people can be uncomfortable sometimes. Last time at practice she said something ridiculous to Jeonghan, ofcourse as a joke but it was really off.", she shudders at the memory, "Jeonghan's always laid back so he let it pass."

"Okay. But why do you need us? Go on dates alone, spend time with each other."

"Because I want you to know Gyu and Josh better and same for Gyu.", Hyerin says grabbing your hands and sighs when she sees confusion written over your face, "Look even though we have just started dating but I think I like him. So I want you to know my boyfriend and his friend, you know, so you it's fluid between the four of us."

You understand. You are happy that you're her confidant. Everything makes sense except Joshua.

But when Hyerin gives you those puppy eyes, who are you to deny her.

"Fine. I'll go with you."

Mingyu gapes at Joshua in disbelief.

"What?", Joshua almost mewls and chucks a pillow at Mingyu, "Stop staring okay?"

Mingyu sits up on the bed, "So you have been talking to someone you don't know and what if that person turns out a psychopath."

"She's not a psychopath, Gyu", Joshua is immediately retaliates.

"She?", Mingyu is amused, "What if it's a he and a 50 year old weirdo?"

That sends Joshua off. After some moment of contemplation he says, "Whatever. They don't even know me and it's fine we just share our minds with each other."

"Dude you always that I'm crazy but I think it's you. You're the crazy one.", Mingyu pouts and scoots over to where Joshua is seated, "So about the double date...."

"We're not having this conversation again.", Joshua retorts.

"Why?", Mingyu now lays on Joshua's lap and looks at him, "Y/N is such a cool person Joshy. You'd love it. She's definitely better than that person you're chatting coz we know her."

Joshua rolls his eyes and places a hand over Mingyu's mouth, "We don't get along at all so no."

Mingyu bits his hand lightly and Joshua flinches in pain.

"Do me this favour Joshy, please.", Mingyu pleads, "We'll have a lot a fun I promise."

"I'm seeing her everyday Gyu, courtesy detention class. I have no will to see her more."

Mingyu's phone dinges a notification and his eyes narrow into slits as he reads it and Joshua knows it's definitely not something beneficial for him because--

"Y/N agreed to it.", Mingyu announces almost shoving his phone to Joshua's face as the later read the text from Hyerin saying the same.

He slaps away his friends hand, "Still a no."

"I thought we are best friends.", Mingyu says sadly as he gets up and takes his bag, "But seems I was wrong. Anyways, I'll get going."

Joshua knows Mingyu is pulling the best friend card yet he let's himself indulge into it once more.

"Fine.", Joshua hollers, "If I don't have a great time, I'll really cut you off Kim Mingyu."

Mingyu grins from ear to ear.

"Y/N, we got a call from your school.", your mother says. You don't like where this conversation is going.

"They informed us about your detention.", your father adds, "Why didn't you tell us?" "It's just a detention dad which will be over by the end of this week.", you say taking a bite of your sandwich even though your appetite was gone. "Y/N", your mother places her hand on yours, "You need to be serious about your studies. Your grades gonna decide your university. Remember that you'll have to take over your father's Pharma company because it's for you. This is our legacy." You are tired of the same old conversation. "I don't want to", your voice cracks as tears prick at the corner of your eyes, "I want to study fashion technology. I want to be a designer!" "We already had this discussion Y/N.", your fathers alerts and you are getting off the chair. "Getting late.", you say slinging your bag over, "Bye." Your parents look at each other solemnly. You can't pinpoint which part of the day went fine for you till now. Because everything was going wrong. First the conversation with your parents during breakfast, second Hyerin informing you about not attending classes today at the last moment over a text, third being late in the class and hearing a earful from the teacher and lots more to account for. Now, as you got some free time before the detention class starts, you decide to sew the remaining series of sequences on the piece of cloth you are currently working on.

You are pulling the needle from the backside when it pricks your index finger.

You're immune to this, it doesn't even sting much but your eyes are teary and you curse out in mumbles.

The tears start to roll your cheeks, you sob silently hiding your face behind your palms.

"Why did you agree to this double dating thing?"

You could see Joshua towering over you but don't raise your hear.

"I could have managed Gyu but just because you agreed I couldn't do so.", Joshua says angrily, "You are so annoying you know--"

"I'm sorry", you stand up, raising your head and your gazes meet.

Joshua instantly freezes when he sees your bloodshot eyes and hears your body racking sobs.

"I know I'm annoying. I'm sorry.", you cry out, "I-I'll just do something."

"Y/N--"

"I'll cancel out on them last minute with some excuses. I promise.", you are wiping your never ending tears as you continue, "So that from next time if they propose something you can always shut them up by saying that I bailed out last time."

"Hey please stop crying.", Joshua gently holds your arms as he crouches to look at you eye to eye, "Please tell me what do I need to do so that you can calm down?"

You don't respond and Joshua renders in panic as he feels you shaking under his touch.

Before the gears in his head could start turning he pulls you into embrace.

And when you still don't stop crying he gently rocks you and hums a soothing melody. His one hand strokes your hair and the other firmly hold you to his chest.

Your cries reduce to sobs until it stops.

"It'll all work out.", he says still rocking you and your hands fist on his shirt at the back.

"But it never works out", you whisper meekly.

"It will. I promise.", his says softly and with so much sincerity that it makes you want to believe him.

You pull away and ask, "You think it will?"

Joshua smiles as he wipes your tears and cups your face. His response comes in form of a soft smile and a firm nod.

"Now sit right here", he backs you and sits you up on the chair, "I'll be back quickly. Don't leave!"

He runs off halfway and calls Hyerin to know what's your favourite food or drink or anything that you make your mood shift even a bit.

And around 20 minutes later he returns with a bag full of cheese puffs, strawberry juice cans and butterscotch flavoured ice creams.

He pants but is relieved to see that you are still there and most importantly not crying.

But your rummaging through your bag.

"What are you searching for?", Joshua asks and sits beside you.

"Band-Aid", you sigh in defeat, "Of course I don't have it today. What a shitty day to be alive."

"I have it, wait a minute.", he fishes out one strip and asks, "Did you get hurt?"

"I pricked my finger with the needle.", you say extending your hand and he looks at you in concern as he applies the ointment and then wraps the Band-Aid.

"Don't worry, I'm used to it.", you try to lessen his worry, "If you do sewing with hands, you're gonna get a lot of it."

Joshua's wide eyes meets your as he realises what you're saying is correct and you find him adorable.

"Here", he hands the bag, "I got these for you."

You tear the seal and a broad grin sets on your lips.

"How did you manage to get all these?"

"Called Hyerin and run to nearest convenience store."

Your heart swells a bit, "You really didn't have to but thanks. I really mean it."

"I hope this helps you get through the day.", Joshua says and takes the ice cream stick you're offering him.

"It definitely will.", you thank him again, "I'll repay you by cancelling the double date. I promise."

Suddenly the idea doesn't sit well with Joshua.

You rack your brain hard to come up with an excuse so that the double date gets cancelled.

Looking at the time, you're about to pull your hair in frustration when your phone rings.

Hyerin calling ...

Panic surges within you causing you miss her call. You immediately call her back.

"Hey love, meet you at the arcade. I'm loving this dynamic between you two.", her suggestive tone confuses you, "I wanna know what's going on between you and Josh. Start getting ready, Josh will pick you up at 7 sharp. Bye."

"Wait what?", you squeak out, "Hello?? Rin?? Hello??"

What does she mean by that, you thought.

It was already 6:30 PM and you don't even have Joshua's number.

"Let's get ready Y/N.", you say to yourself, "If Joshua comes then fine, if he doesn't come the possibility of which weighs more, still fine you get the wear the dress you have made."

Your mood instantly lifts and you search through your wardrobe for that one dress which you have been meaning to wear for a while now. You had completed stitching the dress last month. It turned out really pretty, more than you had expected.

You had cried tears of pride and finished two tubes a butterscotch flavoured ice creams that night.

When you spot it, you caress the dress with gentle hands before taking it out and laying it on the bed.

It's a simple wrap dress, except for, you have recreated the whole dress using some torn out velvety clothings from your mother's old garments. You favourite part is that tie around which you reconstructed from a bodice and put the sequencing overall.

Green always looks good on. You're confident this one also would.

Putting on the dress, twirling around in pure joy and after being done with the makeup and pairing it with your favourite shoes you waited for Joshua.

Sharp at 7, your doorbell rings and you sprint down the stairs grabbing your sling bag to open the door.

"Wow", Joshua blurts out, eyes wide and mouth agape.

He's enchanted.

Your soft giggles breaks his reverie and he curses himself for being so obvious.

"You clean up nice too.", you actually word out the complement because Joshua is really damn good looking.

With his hair brushed back, you can see his exposed forehead and fine lined brows. The blue polo shirt that has been half tucked under the white chino pant is definitely enhancing him.

He's glowing under the strip light and you're sure he'd glow even more under the moonlight.

"Thanks", Joshua breathes out.

"Don't you have something to tell me?", your lips curl up as you say stepping out and close the door, "I was surprised when Rin--"

Joshua doesn't step back.

So when you turn you're words stuck in your throat as you almost bump into him.

But you don't bump into him. Rather there's hardly an inch of gap between you both as you stare at each other wordless.

You think he has kissable lips.

Joshua thinks you have beautiful pair of eyes.

You think his cologne smells nice.

He thinks no one ever did justice to any shades of green as much as you.

You think he has beautiful pair of eyes.

He thinks you have kissable lips.

So he leans down slowly and you don't back off. His breathes fan over your face and your hands find his.

He entwines his fingers through yours and you close your eyes.

He dips down further and is within the cusp of having luxury to put your lips together when the shrill ringtone cuts the atmosphere.

You open your eyes wide and Joshua yanks his hands backing off. You are frozen in place for a few seconds until Joshua's call of your name shakes you up.

He clears his throat and scratches his nape when you look at him.

"Gyu called.", he looks at everything and anywhere except your eyes, "They have reached and waiting for us. Let's go."

You grimace at the sudden change in atmosphere.

It's awkward and suffocating.

You both don't talk to each the whole time Joshua drives you to the arcade.

"Hey love, hey Josh", Hyerin greets as soon as you enter followed by Joshua.

You clinge to your best friend's arm and wave at Mingyu. He waves back with a huge grin.

"Guys", Mingyu calls out, "I checked the bowling ally and booked us the next slot. Let's go."

You have to unwillingly let go her arm when Mingyu extends his for her to hold.

But just before she goes, she whispers in your ear, "Did something happen between you two?"

Your eyes go wide for a moment but before she could catch up to it, you deny it. Her gaze lingers on your face trying to find any inconsistency but thankfully Mingyu ushers her away.

You and Joshua are left behind.

Joshua isn't looking at you at all and you ponder over the fact if you're going to have a good time it has to be with Joshua and this dynamic between you two has to change immediately.

"Do you want to go there?"

Joshua perks up and follows your gaze to the bowling alley where both of your best friends were having fun.

"Well.... actually no. Don't wanna interrupt them", he says, "I want to try basketball though."

"That's my favourite!", you are grabbing him by his hand, "It's that way."

Joshua smiles and he thinks that he could get used to your presence.

"You try first.", you say as you buy the tickets.

"Fine. Next round's on me.", he say taking his position infront of the machine.

You take your camcorder out and just out hold the device when Joshua scowls, "It's illegal to shoot without permission."

You realise that he's right and you mutter a quick sorry before switching off the device and shoving it into your bag.

When you look up again, Joshua is rolling of the sleeves of his shirt and while doing it he's looking damn hot  for some reason.

You gulp nervously and look away.

When you're courageous enough to back at him, he's brushing his hair with his hand.

Again, for some reasons he's looking damn hot.

You think you'd combust if you stay there another moment so you say, "I'll be waiting there", and fleet away.

No matter how much you try, your straying eyes lands on him and you get a whiplash from his chiseled jaw. He must have had his side profile sculptured.

You wonder if Joshua had been always this easy on eyes or it's your hormones talking all of a sudden.

Trying a way out of distraction you decide to text Anonymous.

But before you could apprehend your fingers type away a text that makes you groan upon reading it.

You:

[8:07 PM] How do you know if you like someone?

The lack of response comes from the other side makes you ponder if you had asked an invasive question.

Did you come out too cringey, you sigh in defeat and rest your phone on the table.

"Y/N!", you hear Joshua yell, "You gotta come here."

You would have waved him off if not he had that cute little pout set across his lips.

"Don't tell me you're not able to cross level 2", you laugh straight at his face.

"As if you're the highest scorer.", He retorts.

"So naive", you tsk taking your position in front of the machine.

Joshua goes to recharge the card and returns quickly to tap it on the scanner.

You swiftly pull him beside you and he looks at you startled.

You think he's startled because he's clueless.

He is startled because of the proximity between you both.

"W-What are you doing?"

"Obviously, we're both gonna play.", you say casually, "Otherwise there's no way to crack this unless you climb on this keep on keep ducking the ball in & out."

"Wait what?"

"Look as soon as the balls start rolling, keep on picking and throwing them up.", you set aside your sling bag and tie your hair up in a messy bun, " One thing try to aim when the basket slides to your side, I'll aim on mine otherwise other balls would collide with each other and fall off."

Joshua blinks.

You wait.

Joshua is still confused.

"Look, I have wanted to try this with someone for so long.", your pleading tone resonates with Joshua.

"You haven't tried it before?", he asks, "The way you gave the instructions I was pretty much sure you're a pro at it."

"I did try it with Hyerin.", you lament, "But given she's into sports, her arcade skills are zero."

Joshua snorts at this and gets ready to fulfill your wish.

"We're gonna beat this machine today.", he raises his fisted hand for a fistbump and you gladly reciprocate.

Your cheat key fails at Level 5 but you are happy.

Same for Joshua because he couldn't recollect when was the last time he had this much fun.

"Are you sure they don't get along?", Mingyu asks with a huge grin set on his lips.

"I don't know about Y/N but Joshua upped himself by delivering himself at her door today.", Hyerin smirks.

Mingyu rolls eyes, "Don't you think I didn't notice Y/N literally giving hearty eyes to Joshy."

Hyerin doesn't comment anymore, she just smiles.

That night after dropping you off at home, when he basks in the memories of the spent evening, Joshua realises he has got a text from Anonymous.

Anonymous:

[8:15 PM] How do you know if you like someone?

Joshua:

[10:45 PM] Sorry, had a busy day today.

Do you like someone?

Anonymous:

[10:47 PM] I'm not sure???

I think I like him, the same boy whom I used hate.

Joshua:

[10:48 PM] Should I be happy? What about me?

Kidding! Feelings works funny because I think I'm starting to like the girl I told you about before.

Anonymous:

[10:49 PM] Oh? Should I be happy?

We're really in same boat lol.

Hope we can sort it out.

Joshua:

[10:50 PM] Touché.

Detention classes are going to end today.

You should be feeling ecstatic but you have a glum aura around you as you splash the paint on the wall for one last time.

"You're amazing you know."

A small smile forms on your lips but Joshua doesn't need to see that.

"I just complimented you, are you seriously gonna ignore me?", Joshua bumps his shoulder to yours but you don't budge.

"You are gonna keep doing that?", Joshua let's out a sound of annoyance, "Fine, just remember I had no other choice."

Before you could ask or ignore, you are being turned around in a moment, in the next you are being dragged you have no idea where.

Mrs. Yoo smiles as she watches you both. She just wanted you both to stop hating on but what seemingly she's a getting a lot more than she bargained for.

Hyejoo glares at the two of you and though she isn't sure if she's serious about her feelings for Joshua, a green monster of jealousy starts to invade her mind.

You are pulled inside an empty room which you never knew existed and now you're being cornered by the guy who's causing your hormones to react horrendously whenever around him.

"W-What are you doing?", you gulp nervously, looking everywhere but at him.

"Why are you ignoring me?", he says in a desperate tone and it makes you feel bad.

Because I get nervous around you, I think I like you.

You want to say it all loud and get everything off your chest but you don't.

"I-I'm just being moody", you lie partially, "I have gotten my periods."

Joshua looks relieved, "So you're not particularly being hostile towards me? Oh that's fine. I get it."

You sigh in relief.

Then, his worrying gaze is scrutinizing your face, "Are you in pain? I shouldn't have dragged you here, really sorry. Do you need me to buy to anything? Do you want to eat ice creams--"

You hush him by putting your finger on his lips, though you wish if you could put your lips on his instead.

"I'm fine Josh.", you tell him, "Since today detention classes are ending do you wanna go somewhere with me afterwards?"

Joshua agrees in a beat.

Mrs. Yoon has a teasing grin across her lips when you both stand side by side waiting for her to give you the slips which marks the end of detention.

"I'm impressed how you both went from almost plotting murder to gardening together real quick.", she says with an underlying tone, "Oh, painting too. You've learned to breathe in each other presence, that's what I wanted. You're free to go."

You both quickly mutter a thanks to her and head towards the exit.

You wait for Joshua as he goes to where his bike is parked.

And he groans when he see Hyejoo waiting for him there.

"What do you want?", he asked bluntly, as he pulls his bike and wears the helmet.

"I want to sit on that bike of yours.", she says coyly, "Can I?"

"No.", Joshua says as he prepares to flee, "As I have told you before I have no interest in you. Please stop seeking attention from me all the time."

Her gazes turns shearer as she asks, "So who do you have interest in? Y/N?"

Joshua stiffens for a moment before deciding to ignore her wholly and riding away.

"He didn't even deny it, wow", she scoffs, "Fine, let's see how this goes."

"Such a beautiful place exists and I didn't even know about it?", Joshua laments, "How did you find this place?"

You smile looking ahead, sound of the waves calming you in an ineffable way.

"Accidentally.", you say after sometime, "But this is where you'll find me if ever you couldn't get in touch with me."

Joshua's heart tightens within his chest as he asks, "Why are you showing your safe place to me? Who else knows about this place?"

You don't respond right away and Joshua waits patiently.

"Hyerin, Hyejoo and someone I used to know, knows about this place.", you look at him with warmth in your eyes, "Now you know it too."

Joshua had never imagined that a person who got his coffee spilled, became his detention partner would also be the one who would cry in front of him because of having bad day to be cheatmates at an arcade game.

Joshua never got the slightest intuition that the person whom he hated the most would also become the person he'd be liking the most.

"I want to become a fashion designer. But my parents want me to manage our family business of pharmaceuticals.", your words, tone, aura, everything is emitting sadness, "I have tried to convince them since the day I found out about my passion but they won't let me. The discussion goes nowhere."

Joshua listen, not entirely but somewhat relating to the situation.

"Tell me about you, Josh."

Joshua finds you staring at back him.

He thinks for a while, trying to put together the words for you to make sense and then speaks, "My dad was a lawyer. And I respected him a lot, so I think because of that I found law intriguing.", he pauses and heaves a sigh, "After his death, I promised mom that I keep his profession alive through me. It was an impromptu decision I had made. I was barely 12 years old then."

You listen and empathize with him. You could take a guess where this is going and if not entirely, you can also somewhat relate to him.

"As I grew up, the realisation gnawed at me. I didn't find law intriguing anymore, I don't wanna be a lawyer anymore."

Joshua sounds so dejected that you wanna put his head on your shoulders and wrap your arms around him in an embrace.

But you only caress his back.

"I have tried to tell mom about it but I didn't yet have the courage to actually tell her yet because she's still so immersed in dad and the memories he left. She doesn't even change the old television we have which barely works coz it was one of dad's favourite possession."

He suddenly blinks almost comically, bambi eyes getting rounder and lips parted in awe.

"You're really cool you know!", he emphasises on the adjective for you to get the sincerity of it, "You already have a passion and you know what you want to do. Unlike me."

"You realize it's never too early or too late to find one's passion. We are too young for figuring out our entire life. There's time. There always a right time.", you too emphasize, "Maybe you don't know today but maybe you'll know it tomorrow or someday."

Joshua finds your words oddly comforting and true.

"You can try to make your mom understand little by little. Like how about convincing her to replacing the television or anything else that could be replaced. When and if she agrees find the right time to bring in the topic and get it to her slowly. She'll understand, after all she's your mother."

What you just say, tastes bitter in your mother maybe because you wished for your parents to understand you as well.

Joshua must be knowing how to read minds, because he says, "I would like you to use your advice to yours as well. Show your parents what you wanna do and why you wanna do it. Show them your dedication."

"I'll try.", you smile at him.

"I'll try as well." he echoes you.

When he left home today, he had a mission on his mind that was to get your number.

Because when he asked Mingyu for the same, he quoted something along the lines,

"You need to get it yourself. How long until you don't suck at getting numbers?"

Infuriating, cocky of a best friend Joshua has.

When he drops you at your doorstep, Joshua had those words on the tip of his tongue until you pull of his helmet and kiss his cheek.

Joshua.exe has stopped working.

It's too late when Joshua comes back to this realm because he hears a door slam and you're have successfully sprinted into your house.

Next time definitely, he promises to himself.

You:

[6:30 PM] shared a playlist

Anonymous:

[6:35 PM] I just went through the songs list and I must say you're a music nerd fr.

You:

[6:37 PM] That I am. This playlist represents me so I just gave you a glimpse of what I am.

Anonymous:

[6:39 PM] FYI your playlist has many of my favourite songs as well. We're so similar.

"Are you texting that random stranger again?", Hyerin grimaces as she situates herself between your legs, trying to take a peek at your phone.

When you ignore her she asks again, "What's going on between you and Joshua?"

"Nothing.", you answer simply, knowing Hyerin won't buy a penny of it.

You shift so that Hyerin falls flat on the bed and you lay beside her.

"Rin, even though I have been talking this guy--"

"Don't have no idea whether you're talking to a guy or a girl or a bot or whoever!", Hyerin huffs, "Look I know you like talking to them, share interests and all but can you seriously think about Joshua. You like him, don't you?"

You sigh in defeat, nothing goes past your best friend, "I do like him, Rin."

"I freaking knew it! You both are so obvious!", Hyerin laughs, "And cute."

"I'm going to tell him someday maybe.", you say, "Even if he rejects me, I can console myself saying atleast I tried."

"Before you do that, why don't you meet this Anonymous.", Hyerin suggests, "I mean look, I know you have crated an attachment towards them. So meet them in person, get to know each more and do tell them that you like Joshua."

You blink at her owlishly.

"What I mean is, sort things out. First go meet Anonymous so you know they're not some weirdo and if they're not great you got another friend. Then confess to Josh about your feelings.", Hyerin expectant gaze falls on you hoping you got what she's trying to say.

"Okay!", you say and she can almost see that see a lightbulb going off in your head, "I'll meet anonymous first, then... then we'll see."

"Then you'll confess to Josh, if he doesn't do it first.", Hyerin scoffs, "Please we know the amount of time you're both spending."

"What about Hyejoo?", you ponder, "Doesn't she also like Josh?"

"Look, I'm very much surprised Joshua made it past a week okay? But I really want her to see Jisung's the one for her. That poor boy, I don't know how many heartbreak he suffers everytime my sister chooses a new crush, chooses someone who's not him."

"And tell her to spend a day without Jisung, she'll go berserk.", you continue to add points, "I wonder how long until she realises it's been him all this time."

"I know right, she's so goddamn stubborn.", Hyerin laments, "Hope she doesn't pull something stupid to get to Joshua because he doesn't even have an ounce of interest towards her."

"Good for me I guess?", you shrug and get an 'aww' on return.

You immediately pull up your phone and send a text.

You:

[7:25 PM] I was wondering if we could meet up?

Anonymous:

[7:30 PM] What about your rule of not knowing each other personally ?

You:

[7:31 PM] The one who made the rule is trying to break it, so .....

Anonymous:

[7:32 PM] Ok cool, let's meet.

You:

[7:33 PM]

Okay day after tomorrow, 5 in evening at Crimson Café. Sounds good?

Anonymous:

[7:33 PM] Fine by me.

How are we going to recognise each other lol?

You:

[7:34 PM]

I'll be wearing a purple beret hat with a bear logo on it.

Anonymous:

[7:35 PM]

I'll be wearing a green sweatshirt with Los Angeles written on it.

You:

[7:36 PM] Noted. See you on Thursday!

Next day when you cross the threshold of your school canteen, it's not Hyerin who gets hijacked by Jeonghan.

He hijacks you.

"What does the school heartthrob want from me?", you quip nonchalantly, "And you have a treat pending so...."

Jeonghan rolled eyes, "Oh my god, fine. After classes end, let's go to that bakery shop nearby. I heard they sell the best black currant cakes."

"Deal!", you bump his shoulder, "I'll be waiting by the exit. Will drop a text."

Jeonghan gives a nod, pats your head and part ways to attend the class.

Joshua has been occupying mostly of mind nowadays and you wonder if he was just a mere crush anymore. You also realise that you could have texted him asking if he's attending school today or not but you don't have his number.

You ask him for it next time, you take a mental note.

As promised, Jeonghan takes you to the bakery and after placing your orders Jeonghan finally ask a favour from you.

"It's the final project and I have no clue how to design the cover.", he tells you, "So could you please help me with it?"

Jeonghan knows you would definitely help him.

"Han, look to be honest, I have a lot of assignments and project to deal with", you explain, "So there's a limit on my end to provide you support. It shouldn't be taking long, we need to decide specific days and anyhow get it done by that."

Jeonghan sighs in relief, "Y/N you could have literally said no but you're an angel.", he grabs your hands and expresses his gratitude, "I'll mail you all the details and you have a look. Then we can decide on the rest."

"Sounds like a plan and you know I'd never not help you if I could.", you assert, "You are a good friend."

Jeonghan would never admit but his heart swells with emotions. For him too, you have been a good friend. Not always in touch maybe, but the one he can confide to anytime.

You let out a yelp when your pulled against his chest, as Jeonghan gives you a side hug.

"Dude what's gotten into you?", you scrunch your nose looking at him with pointed eyes.

"Well definitely not someone who goes by Joshua Hong.", he teases.

You gasp, almost scurrying away from him.

"Hyerin that little snitch!", you gruff in disbelief and Jeonghan laughs.

Joshua doesn't see you in school. He searches but you're neither in the canteen, nor with Hyerin or any of the classes he thought you'd be.

"Looking for Y/N?"

He hears a familiar voice and doesn't like it at all.

Hyejoo stands in front of him, her lips curled up in a smirk, arms crossed over her chest.

"If you know then tell me or mind your own business.", he deadpans.

Hyejoo definitely knows where and with whom you are because she had overhead you two while passing by and the absolute joy she got because that would definitely be a fuel to fire.

Joshua decides to walk off but what he hears next cause him to halt.

"Be careful Josh. Y/N maybe not be all what she seems to be.", Hyejoo says.

She continues on realising she has successfully garnered his attention, "I'm only saying because I care for you."

"What are you trying to imply here?", Joshua asks.

She chuckles, a mocking tone cutting through which Joshua fails to notice, "Did she ever breakdown in front of you?"

Joshua stills. A moment later he nods.

"You'll often have to handle that, not a big deal", her lips curl down as if in worry, "But as days goes she'll be blaming every irrelevant things on you. You won't be able to tell her that things are not working out for her because she's not trying."

Joshua is rooted to ground, he only listens.

"I assume you already know about her safe place."

Joshua feels like someone had poured a bucket of ice water on him.

"Your face says you know it.", Hyejoo taunts, "It's always like this. She's difficult to handle."

"What do you mean by always?"

"It was same with Junsik, her ex.", she utters hurriedly.

Joshua doesn't know what he's gonna do with all these information he just acquired.

"Let me take you where she is now."

That's how Joshua finds himself standing outside the bakery. Through one of window walls he sees you laughing at something Jeonghan was saying.

His hands balled into fists as he watches Jeonghan pulling you into his embrace.

You look so happy that Joshua's mind lingers back to the memories shared between you two and he doubts if you were ever this happy when you were with him.

When he sees Jeonghan feeding you, his heart constricts too tightly in his chest.

He realises that he doesn't like the intimacy between you and Jeonghan.

He realises he wants to swap places with Jeonghan, that he should be the one who gets to hug, to feed you or hold your hands.

He realises that he likes you.

He likes you a lot.

"You like her, it's so obvious", Hyejoo says impassively, "But does she like you back?"

Joshua has his minded clouded with all sorts of nonsense Hyejoo fed him with that anger seeps through his veins and clutters in his heart as pain.

He blames himself for believing that you would have some sort of liking towards him and he is indignant because you acted as if you would reciprocate his feelings.

Joshua leaves with a heavy heart and he might not have noticed the tears that were pooling his eyes.

Your eyes stray in anticipation everytime you sense someone passing by your table.

You wait for Anonymous as decided at the Crimson café with lot of expectations and only one hope for the person to be not any weirdo.

You:

[7:10 PM] I'm already in here.

Took the table nearest to the counter, the view looks good from here :)

You quickly send the text and rest the phone on the table as you take out your sketch book and start doodling.

Joshua is still heartbroken for which he really looks forward to meet Anonymous.

Today, he just wants to forget everything and have a good time.

To get you off his mind, to push back the career choices, he only wants that.

He heaves a deep breathe standing outside the café and his lips curl up as he reads the text he just received notifying that the one he's going to meet has already arrived.

Joshua pushes the door, walking in.

All hope dissipates instantly when he sees you, wearing a purple beret hat with a bear logo, sitting at one of the two tables nearest to the counter, other one being empty.

Joshua doesn't think anymore, he just sprints out of the café.

You sigh bored, finally getting your head out of your sketchbook and check the time.

You:

[7:24 PM] You didn't forget about meeting me today right??

Are you stuck somewhere?

It's 8 now, neither do you get a response of your texts, nor does Anonymous shows up.

You:

[8:03 PM] Are you still coming?

Did something happen? Are you okay?

Please just drop a text whenever you get this, I'm worried...

The clock strikes 9 and you're dragging your body out of the café.

You are worried. You are exhausted.

Not trying to read much into it, you coax yourself into believing that there must be a valid reason for Anonymous to take a raincheck on you. That you'll get a response and may be an apology later.

Next day when you wake up, the first thing you do is check your phone.

No messages.

You huff in annoyance but don't let it ruin your mood because today you have a mission.

To get Joshua's number.

Not a big deal, you could have easily gotten it from Hyerin but you believe it's best to be a little brave and get it from the person himself.

Generally, you have often bumped into him for the past few day but today, somehow it's hard to find him. You even doubt if he's attending school today.

But that doubt dissolves when you see him in the canteen, snacking on a snicker bar and scrolling through his phone with a bored expression.

A grin sets on lips as you walk up to him and occupy the seat across him.

He lifts his gaze from his phone and his heart drops when he sees you.

"Hey", you say, "I have been searching for you."

Suddenly, there's a screech and Joshua is dragging out his chair as he stands up.

Your curious eyes try to meet his but he doesn't look at you.

"Josh--"

"I have a class now.", he says and leaves.

You are confused and you are worried.

If he's having a bad day you want to help him, as he had done for you.

If he's bothered by something, you want him to eat up your ears by ranting it all out.

If he's tired, you want to put his head on your shoulder.

"I'll let him have his space for today.", you mumble in distaste, "But I miss him. I'm so miserable."

Next day you bump into him in the hallway.

"Hey Josh", you greet, smiling wide.

Joshua is stoic and you notice it.

"I have some work at library.", he says and just as he was about to take a turn you grab his wrist.

"Did something happen?", you ask with uncertainty, anxiety creeping in you slowly.

"Can you unhand me?", Joshua quips sharply, "If you haven't noticed it, I'm feeling uncomfortable."

You immediately release his hand and take a step back "I-I'm sorry --"

"Save it.", he says, "What do you want anyway?"

Your mind runs thousand miles on the memory lane to come up with anything you could have done to upset Joshua.

But nothing comes up. Absolutely nothing.

"I just want to get your number."

There you just had to say it when Joshua is vexed at you.

A scoff leaves his lips and he glares at you, "What are you playing at? Don't you already have my number. Stop messing with me."

You think you're hearing everything wrong. You look at him as if he has grown another head and a pair of lips which are uttering absolute nonsense.

"How could you do this to me?", he asks, his gaze peering into your soul and wrenching at your gut, "I feel like you're always breathing into in my neck. And it's suffocating."

"What did I do, please tell me." , you plead in helplessness, eyes glistening with unshed tears and you all get in return is a condescending look.

"Stop pretending, oh my god", Joshua whispers in a threatening tone, "I don't want to see to you anymore.", with that he leaves.

You suck in a sharp breathe and close your eyes letting those tears fall. A sob throbs out of you and you are unbothered with the looks you're getting from those passing by.

Your mind only reels the words Joshua had spat out, the bitterness and hatred from them getting to you.

Joshua is the only good thing that has happened to you in a long time so you refuse let him go just like that.

Whatever it is, you're going to fix it.

"Mrs. Hong?"

"Y/N?"

You chest tingles in mirth as you ask, "How have you been?"

"Been good dear.", she answers in her calm voice, "What about you?"

"Okayish, I'd say.", your voice wavers, "Just stressed with finals and career choices."

"You should do whatever you feel like doing.", she advices, patting your head.

"My parents want me to handle the family business which I don't want.", you ramble, knowing that ranting about it to everyone won't change anything.

"Then fight for it", Mrs. Hong says, "Go to hell and back, take all of it. It's always better to try than to have regrets for life."

You nod, somewhat finding new confidence to have the conversation with your parents again.

"Your son must be lucky to have you as a parent, Mrs. Hong.", you comment with sincerity, "You know there's one thing I have always wanted. For my parents to ask me what do I want."

You place all your items on the checkout counter and solemnly tell her, "Mrs. Hong, you should also ask your son what he wants. You know as we grow up, we discover new interests, our choices change. You're a sensible parent so I want you to be the cool mom and support his descisions, whatever it maybe be."

Mrs. Hong stiffens for a moment. Her mind reels back to a lot of things and she has been complacent with Joshua on this matter.

"Mrs. Hong?", your concerned voice reaches her, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said anything."

You are suddenly pulled into her embrace and she thanks you.

"You might have unknowingly done me a huge favour.", she whispers on the top of your head.

"He has been cranky lately", Mingyu hums as he recollects, "Mostly cooped up in his room, doesn't even open up to me."

You and Hyerin grimace at his words.

"Did he shout at you?", you ask in hopes that it's only you but it's just a phase and Joshua is mad at every one.

Mingyu pouts because he knows the answer he's gonna give you is nowhere going to make you feel better.

"No, actually we went to arcade yesterday. He blew off his steam at that poor basketball machine but we're good. Like normal, just he's a bit more serious nowadays."

You slouch down and Hyerin glares at her boyfriend.

"It's okay, love. I think you should confront him asap.", Hyerin wraps her arm around your shoulder as she throws pointed eyes at her boyfriend.

Mingyu seems to take the hint and says, "I'm there to help you, just tell me what I need to do."

"For the starters, give me his number.", you insist, almost on verge pleading, "If I can't get through him, then help me to meet him alone."

"Okay ma'am!", Mingyu immediately takes his phone and sends you Joshua's contact.

"Thanks Gyu", you say and getting up sweep a glance at the couple, "Gotta go, I need to help Han to design the cover."

"Keep us posted Y/N."

You nod in acknowledgement at Mingyu's words.

Walking down the alley, you contemplate a lot of things, life is tough, yours is toughest.

Nothing seems to work out for you.

You want a career, your parents don't resonate with you.

You like a guy, he suddenly starts to hate your entire existence.

Taking out your phone you open Mingyu's chat to save Joshua's contact.

Just as you proceed to add it to a pops up appears.

Do you want replace the contact name from Anonymous to Joshua?

Your eyes go round like saucers as you re read the sentence again and again.

You trace back and confirm that it's actually Anonymous.

Joshua Hong is actually Anonymous!

"What are you playing at? Don't you already have my number. Stop messing with me."

Joshua's words ring in your mind and everything made sense to you now. That also meant he had come to the café and left without meeting you, misunderstanding the whole situation.

You immediately call Jeonghan only to cancel on him.

Next, you're calling Mingyu and as soon as he picks up you say, "Gyu, please anyhow bring Joshua to that old park, I need to talk to him, it's urgent."

Joshua is startled when Mingyu suddenly barges into his room and starts tugging on his sleeves.

"I need a help from you Josh", he says and Joshua could sense the urgency in his voice, "We have to be somewhere."

As an unsuspecting and good friend he was, he immediately agreed on it.

Suddenly he is dropped off outside the park with Mingyu saying, "Go inside and you'll know it", before riding away in his bike.

Joshua stands there for a moment, utterly confused but anyways walks into the park.

You wait for him, biting off almost all of your nails.

You figure out his silhouette approaching and you could also see his face morphing from confusion to distaste on seeing you.

"Is this some kind of prank?", Joshua yells out, "Very irritating."

You are prepared to hear all the harsh words and off word gazes you're gonna get.

You are also adament to dissolve the misunderstandings and confess your feelings for him today.

"I think there's a misunderstanding, you need to listen to me.", you speak stepping ahead.

Joshua doesn't respond and you take it as your cue to continue.

"I asked Mingyu for your number today.", you continue carefully, "That's when I came to know you are Anonymous."

Joshua scoffs, "You really think I'm gonna buy it? What do you take me for Y/N?"

"I'm not lying --"

"Oh so you're telling you bumping into me right after I texted you that night is pure coincidence? Pairing up for detention classes was also a mere coincidence? Don't you know it's quite weird, how I got to see you each and everywhere, often, more and more just after I hit you up with those texts.", Joshua's gaze is enough to cower you down, his words just added to his condescendness towards you.

"What are you getting at?", you ask bracing yourself for another set of insults you knew that are going to come your way.

"You clearly knew that it was me the whole time.", he spats out, "You just wanted some attention because of the petty princess you are. Oh did I mention attention seeker too?"

"You're not in your right mind Joshua.", you warn him, "Don't say anything you're going to regret later."

"I'm not gonna regret anything. The only thing I regret is meeting you. Do you always do this?", he asks rather accuses you and you shot him a look.

"Do what?"

"Make guys believe that you like them and them tangle them into a trash relationship?", he chuckles bitterly, "I almost believed that you like me until I saw you with Jeonghan. Are you gonna take him to your safe place too? Were you gonna treat us the same as you treated Junsik?"

You freeze on hearing that name.

"How do you know about Junsik?", your eyes sting and voice falters, "What do you know about him?"

"Does it matter now?", he disregards you totally, "You are really sick for playing me like that because I really liked you..."

You perk up at his words, the pain in your heart never subduing but tearing it into infinite pieces.

"But fortunately, it isn't too late.", his words are venomous, more than he could realise, "I want to see you ever again. So do me a favour and never show your face again."

Your sobs doesn't stop until you're biting your tongue to the point where the metallic taste fills your mouth.

You lift your gaze to look at him past your wet lashes, "I also liked you Joshua, like a lot. Gosh I might be in lov-", you fist your hands focusing on them to not break down, "But your wish is granted."

You only say that much before walking past him.

The door to your heart, through which Joshua was making his way is cemented now.

"He said what?", Hyerin is raging and you are the one actually keeping her in check instead of getting comforted.

"Kim Mingyu what kind of bastard your best friend is?", she yells at her boyfriend, "Why are you even friends with him?"

"I still can't believe Joshua could say all this.", Mingyu mumbles, "I was quite sure that he liked you back and he obviously liked talking to Anonymous which turns out to be you."

"Leave it guys", you speak meekly through your sore throat, "It's all over--"

"It's not over, how dare he bring up Junsik?", Hyerin is sure she's going to commit manslaughter today, "What does he know about him?"

"I wonder", you sigh and lean against her shoulder.

"And he thinks, you were gonna double time him and Han?", she throws Joshua another punch at the gut in her head, "Who does he think he is? That bastard I'm-- I'm gonna ugh!"

Mingyu breaks into cold sweat on looking at his girlfriend, grimaces on watching you and fumes in anger when thinks about Joshua.

"Something must have happened, he ain't always like this.", Mingyu comments and is met by a death glare from Hyerin but he continues, "We need get it out of him."

"Whatever guys", you climb on your bed, laying down, "If you want me as your friend then never bring up Joshua ever again. I'm being serious right now.", you pull over the comforter and point your index towards the door, "Thanks for coming but now you both please get out."

Once the door slams shut, all the tears you've been holding stream down as you indulge in self dejection and that broken heart of yours bleeds in scarlet red. A colour so beautiful yet vicious.

A colour that Joshua gave you so brutally.

Joshua Hong was cruel to you and you pledge you're not going to give him the luxury to hurt you again, you're going to be unbothered, apathetic and indifferent to him.

Joshua Hong is a just stranger to you now.

Joshua doesn't immediately leave from the park. He takes a seat on one of the rusty swing and cools down. And while doing so his mind lingers back on the recent episode he had with you.

Joshua is generally a calm guy, a bit cranky but mostly calm. So when his own voice echoes in his mind saying those words to you, he topples with guilt.

He knows he went overboard and he was the actual sick one for bringing up your ex into the conversation.

But words once said cannot be taken back.

Letting the emotions get consume you is never a wise choice and Joshua made that mistake today.

His heart constricts when he remembers your tear stained cheeks, hurt eyes and maimed demeanor.

"I also liked you Joshua, like a lot. Gosh I might be in lov-"

He laughs. He is humored at how sincere you sounded when you were lying.

A Jack of Fools.

You are watching an interesting movie on your phone when someone taps you on your shoulder.

You crane your neck to see Jeonghan, seriousness ghosted over his face.

"What happened?"

He heaves a sigh and takes the sit across you.

"Before you start", you say getting up, "Let me bring something to eat."

Joshua enters the canteen and is displeased to see it extremely crowded. He searches and gladly he finds an unoccupied seat which he quickly takes.

On sweeping his gaze he finds Jeonghan occupying the table in front to his so he seats with his back faced to the later.

That's when he sees you passing by and hears a screech of chair. You place the food tray on the table as you take the seat opposite to Jeonghan's, and behind you is where Joshua is seated.

You don't notice Joshua.

"Spill.", you say, passing him a plate.

Jeonghan relents. He stays quiet for a moment before he's speaking, "It's about Seji."

You nod and wait for him to continue.

"We've been talking again.", he says and he wants to say a lot more but he cuts it down to, "My feelings are resurfacing."

"Your feelings for her were never gone.", you shrug poking the food on your plate you continue, "Look I don't get what the concept of being on & off is, so either you both get back or cut each other off. Otherwise I'm sorry but this looks very toxic to me."

"You're always so brutally honest", Jeonghan mops, "and have a clear conscience that's why I always confide in you."

"Oh, it's nice to hear that, someone just called me liar, sick and all sorts of synonyms it could go for.", You say meekly.

Joshua who has been eavesdropping, in his defence he had no choice as they sat behind him, it was all audible.

Jeonghan gasps in disbelief, "Who do I need to chain on? Tell me."

You give him a knowing smile and Jeonghan understands.

"Joshua berated you?", he ask gently, "I thought you were going to confess your feelings to him?"

Joshua freezes.

Then he hears a sob.

"Please, please don't cry. I don't know what happened but he doesn't deserve your tears.", Jeonghan rushes over to you as he hands you his handkerchief, "Gosh, I can't believe someone could hurt you so much. Promise I won't ever bring him up again, stop crying please."

You shake your head, wiping your tears, "I-I liked him a lot Han. And he said I was gonna double time with you and him."

Joshua hisses, he's ashamed.

Jeonghan sees red when he hears this, "He said what? No, I need to find him and beat the shit out of him. What a jerk, good riddance Y/N. Curse him all out now."

"Please Han", you tug on his sleeves, "He doesn't deserve any of this attention. I don't even want to hear his name anymore."

Jeonghan seethes but he decides to let it go for now. He would definitely deal with Joshua later.

"How about I take you that bakery? We can have everything you want!", he tries to cheer you up.

But you shake your head in protest, "You already bribed me so much for a mere cover design Han. I shouldn't rob you anymore."

Jeonghan rolls eyes, "Please it's not a mere cover, it requires so much effort and even though you're crammed with your tasks, you decided help me diligently."

"Fine.", you say, "You better sort things out with Seji and I'll text you when I work over on what discussed on before."

Joshua is this close to turn around, the apologies being on the tip of his tongue.

But you are leaving and Jeonghan follows you not before throwing a glare at the back of the person about whom you both just had a conversation.

Jeonghan knew about Joshua sitting exactly behind you this whole time.

"Hey mom", Joshua greets as he sits on the tool, "You wanted to discuss something?"

Mrs. Hong is standing by the kitchen counter, your words have been ringing in her head since that day and she wants her only son to know that he doesn't need to feel burdened if at all he has been feeling so.

"I want to ask something and I'm expecting an honest answer from you."

Joshua straightens in his seat as his attentive eyes fixates on his mother.

"What do you want to do Shua?", she elaborates when she see creases on his forehead out of confusion, "As in your choice for a career?"

Joshua's eyes goes round, as this was totally unexpected to him, something he had been meaning to bring this topic but never had the courage.

It suddenly felt like a blessing as he collects his thoughts and frames the sentence in his mind before speaking out.

"Mom, I don't want to be a lawyer.", he says and waits for his mother's reaction.

Mrs. Hong falters a bit but she quickly regains her composure.

Joshua notices, it's natural and expected, so he continues, "I don't know what I want to do but it's definitely not law mom. Just for clinging onto it because it was dad's profession, I don't wanna regret it later, have depression and blame everyone for it."

Mrs. Hong walks over to her son and pulls him into her embrace, "Why didn't you tell me before?"

"I wanted to mom but I didn't have the courage to break your heart, knowing how much you treasure everything related to dad.", he whispers, voice wavering, "But won't dad be happier if I follow my passion and live in content?"

"Yes, he'd be so happy. I'm sorry for being so ignorant", Mrs. Hong sobs, "I should have been more attentive. You're allowed to do whatever you want Shua."

Joshua smiles in relief, a big weight being lifted off his chest.

"Thanks mom.", he say sincerely, "Thanks a lot."

"We both should be thanking that girl.", Mrs. Hong laughs, wiping her years and also patting her son's back.

"Who?", Joshua quips up.

"Oh you wouldn't know her." she says, "She made me realise that parents often take matters related to their children for granted and for providing them expect something in return."

"Please thank her on my behalf.", Joshua requests.

Next day, Joshua reaches the classroom as soon as he could because it's the only class he shares with you.

He just wants to see you.

You enter the class minutes after he does. Joshua's gaze is on you, you are aware but your gazes never meet, not when you walk past him and sit in the back.

In today's class, you are gonna get to know the project topics and will be assigned partners for completing the same.

Joshua hopes he get paired with you.

You pray to get assigned with anyone but Joshua.

"You can choose your partners.", the teacher announces, "In groups of two."

You groan, definitely luck not your side because you knew no one except one and the one you knew you'd never pair up with him.

Joshua is sure that universe is giving him a chance and with his new found confidence, he walks upto the walks to your desk.

When you see Joshua walking your way, you think he's gonna pass by but instead he halts infront of you.

You are going to be unbothered, apathetic and indifferent to him.

"Hi Y/N..", he says with hesitancy.

You don't even spare him a glance.

Even though he's sweating and up on his toes, he asks, "Will you be my partner for this project?"

"No.", you say resting your face on the palms of your hands, still not looking at him, "Thanks for asking though."

"I'm sorry Y/N.", he just wants you to look at him atleast but you don't make any effort to do so, "I went overboard that day. Said many things I shouldn't have. I just--"

"You have said all the things you wanted to say because you wanted to hurt me.", you crane your neck to lips curl up in a mocking smile, "You don't have to apologise to look good to yourself specially when you don't mean it. Don't be a hypocrite and let's pretend to not know each other from now on."

You are standing up, grabbing your notebook as you continue, "Since you don't want to see my face, don't talk to me."

Joshua's words are coming to bit him back as pure venom.

You take out your phone, "Look here, I'm doing this infront of you so that you can get assured."

Joshua's curious gaze falls on the screen and his heart drops when he gets your intention.

"See I'm blocking your number.", you press on the block button and your thumb hovers over the delete button, "And now I'll delete your contact. Rest assured, you won't be bothered by me."

Joshua stays rooted to the ground until the teacher calls his name.

Fortunately, you don't get paired with Joshua.

"I don't want to see his face, let alone talk to him", Hyerin barks, literally barks, "You're calling in for your best friend's murder, I'm warning you."

Mingyu agrees that he's hypothetically plotting a murder by letting his girlfriend meet his best friend.

"Babe, when I said we need to get the root of this, we are gonna do so.", Mingyu warns Hyerin, "Now, when Joshua walks in through the door, I'll talk to him. You only speak when needed."

Hyerin huffs, "Lucky that I love you."

Mingyu grins and pecks her lips.

The door creaks open and Hyerin scoffs, "Here comes the idiot."

Joshua doesn't have a good feeling, specially seeing Hyerin who's constantly glaring at him and he thinks that's enough to drill holes into his skull.

"Hi guys", he tries to initiate a conversation, "Why did you wanna meet?"

"First, what you did Y/N was very lowly", Mingyu says, "I'm very disappointed in you."

Joshua sits quietly, hanging his head low.

"What do you know about Junsik?", Hyerin interrogates, "How do you know him?"

Joshua fiddles with his fingers and sits wordless.

"We're not here to look at your face, you better open that stupid mouth of yours like you had done that day.", Hyerin barks again, her patience wearing thin.

"Hyejoo told me about him.", Joshua says and looks up at her.

Hyerin stiffens, all the words she was about to gurgle gets stuck in her throat.

Joshua finds an opportunity and he relays everything that happened to the couple.

"You should have asked me about Jeonghan atleast.", Mingyi sighs, "And how could you bring up Junsik when you don't even know a thing about him?"

"Junsik was Y/N's first, well only boyfriend till now", Hyerin reveals, "who had dumped her over a text because he fell in love with a new chick in the school he just got transferred to. He just threw away a relationship of two years just like that."

"She has been aloof since then. Always reluctant to make friends, didn't show interest in other guys", she looks dead in his eyes, "Until you came along. But it's her bad luck, you also turned out to be a douche. And she was so excited to meet Anonymous until you intently stood her stood. I hope karma to be an actual bitch to you."

Joshua feels like he has been pushed into the trench, like what he deserves.

Hyerin feels humiliated because she had never thought that her sister could be so much of a menace.

She gets up and Mingyu looks at her alarmingly.

Placing her hand on his hand in assurance she tells, "Hyejoo needs to be taught a lesson so I need to go. I'll drop by Y/N's to apologize to her."

"Babe, don't blame yourself okay?", he says affectionately as he wraps his arms around her waist, "It's not your fault. Just go & handle the things your way."

She turns to look at Joshua, "I wonder how long you have known Hyejoo to believe all the shit she uttered that day."

The door slams and Joshua breathes out.

"I like her a lot, Gyu.", Joshua says in distress and Mingyu scoffs.

"Who, Hyejoo?", he counters, "Because that's the only plausible option I can think of."

"Right, I deserve to be mocked.", he admits, "You're so dumb Joshua Hong."

"Stop being miserable than you already are and if you are ready serious about Y/N, then make it up to her and confess your feelings.", Mingyu suddenly grins as he says, "I hope you get rejected five times before she accepts you."

Joshua could only grimace at his words. You couldn't pinpoint since when it started but you have been receiving some items with a cute note everyday. First time it was a mini bouquet that was kept in your locker with the note saying-

Like a bouquet tied with twine, I can be yours if you will be mine.

From, Your Anonymous

You didn't read much into, thinking someone must have mixed up the locker numbers. Next day, you found a miniature panda with another note saying- In a room full of basic brown bears, you are my panda.

From, Your Anonymous This time the gears in your brain turn harder when you reread the note. A lightbulb goes off and you find the literal meaning of the words at the end.

Your Anonymous means Your Anonymous in literals who is none other then Joshua Hong. That note and the teddy goes straight into the trash can. Third day, you find a strawberry juice can and a note which makes you snort.

You're the grenadine in my tequila sunrise. Without you, I'm just this strawberry juice.

From, Your Anonymous. "Now he's playing on my weakness.", you mumble eyeing the can, not having the heart to chuck it into the trash can.

Joshua watches as your stand there in dilemma with a grin set on his lips. The strawberry juice can ultimately doesn't show up in the trash can.

One day, you are climbing up the stairs reading an article on your phone when you bump into someone.

Very surprising, you find Joshua in front of you.

"Can I talk to you for a moment?", he asks and you dismiss him immediately turning to go on a seperate way when he says, "It's urgent, please."

You tail behind him as he leads to you a random empty class. You lean against the wall, Joshua stands at a distance.

"Tomorrow is my mom's birthday and I bought her a dress.", he starts explaining, "I accidentally tore a button...."

Silence fills in the air and Joshua watches you intently for any reaction. He watches your eyes go wide in absolute disbelief and next you're hitting him on his arm,   "Such an idiot", another hit, "Where's the dress? We need to fix it soon." Joshua is overjoyed but he doesn't show. "It's at home.", Joshua says, "Do you want me to bring it to school?" You roll eyes, "Have you thrown the remaining 1% of your brain in gutter?" Joshua nods, resembling a kicked puppy. An adorable kicked puppy. Your heart twists abnormally in your chest, no he's not the guy you like anymore, get a grip on yourself, he can be all cute but it doesn't effect you anymore-- "Y/N?" "Yes?" "So..."

"Oh yeah-- I don't have classes anymore so if it's okay with you then we can go now.", you offer curtly, "Since her birthday is tomorrow, we don't have time." You awkwardly stand in the middle of the hall as Joshua goes somewhere seeking for his mother. You hear their voices, not able to make anything coherent out of it as the padding sound of footsteps against the floor increases. Joshua walks in followed by his mother so when you see her you almost shriek in shock, "Mrs. Hong?" "Y/N?", Mrs. Hong, pushes her sone aside and runs to hug you, "Oh my, what a pleasant surprise!" Joshua stands as confused as ever as he watches you both gush about each other. "Shua", his mother calls, "I was talking about her, she's you were seeking for. Thank her yourself." Joshua feels all the air leaving his lungs at once. It's you, again. The same girl who he had trash talked straight on her face. The same girl who is present in his house just to help him. The same girl who he likes loves. He leads you to his room and the entire time you could sense the sudden shift in his aura. Crossing threshold of his room, hits you with a surge of Joshua. You look around, watching a large poster of LeBron James pasted on the wall adjacent to his bed. A huge stack of books about economics pilled up on his study table and a neatly made bed. "Here", Joshua lays the dress on the bed and hand you detached button, "How long will it take?" You deadpan, "Hardly 5 minutes." His face falls like tons of brick and it's so obvious that you had to stiffle a laugh. The dress is beautiful, you think but it's plain, too plain for your eyes and your hands itch but you should have no business with dress apart from stitching that button back. Joshua notices and he knows what's going on inside that mind of your. He trusts you, he wants you stay longer so he plays it down, "Don't you think the dress is simple. I bought it because that colour is beautiful and rare." You perk up at his words and Joshua swears he could melt into puddle if he'd stare at your doe eyes one more second. "I could stitch a flower towards the left flange of the dress.", you ponder over and ask, "What's her favourite flower?" "Daisies", he answers. "Oh that will be comparatively easy", you clasp your hands in excitement, "A simple satin stitch would do." Joshua looks at you with all the attentiveness in the world. His heart swells and he realises that it's been long he has stopped crushing over you. His heart yearns for you and maybe that's the reason he was hurt and raged seeing Jeonghan with you. He admits to loving you, he hopes that you'd give him another chance just to show that how much you mean to him. "Give me the dress", you are already searching designs on your phone, "It will take around 4-5 hours. Come and get it by 9." "Can I be with you?", he asks and you shot him a look. "What are you gonna do, except for bothering me?", you quip back, "Don't you hate me?" "I lov-- I won't bother you promise. Just let me be with you." His underlying tone resonates in your ears and heart does flips when you look him in the eyes. Brimming with emotions (read: love) "I don't have any other choice, do I?"

"Can you stop staring at me?", you finally blurt out, "Also, if you could not breathe on my neck!" Joshua doesn't bother listening to you, he's just having the time of his life watching you closely, basking in your presence. You are almost done with stitching the embroidery and Joshua yet again raises his hand to your mouth urging you to eat the pastry, one of the enormous amount of items he bought for you, emphasizing it's his way of saying thanks. "I can eat it myself--" "But both of your hands are occupied." This reasoning would take you nowhere. He has been acting as a lovesick soul, touch starved body and happy fool around you. And it's certainly not helping your heart in keeping check. You have finally embroidered the daisies and it turned out prettier than you had expected. "You can work magic on fabrics you know.", Joshua sincerely complements you, "Thanks a lot Y/N." "No big deal.", you smile, "Mrs. Hong is an amazing woman, she deserves all the love." Joshua gleans but suddenly remembers the purpose of crashing in your place. "Hey, there's a basketball game at my previous school on this weekend and I'd be playing, would you like to come?", Joshua asks. You look at him with a scowl on his your face, "Why don't you ask your Hyejoo to come with you?" Joshua almost scurries but it will be a lost battle if backs down now. "Am I not being obvious?", Joshua asks all seriousness ghosting over him. "What?" "Am I not being obvious with my feelings?", Joshua asks again. "What are you insinuating?" "I want you, only you, and no one else to come to my match. You matter to me because..", he breathes in, breathes out, shuts his eyes, open them just to say-- "I love you, Y/N." He does it. Says the words he had been meaning to tell you, the words those set themselves on the tip of his tongue whenever he saw you. "Josh..." He smiles at the slip of his nickname from you and leans in to you. "I was so mad when I saw you with Jeonghan, because I was jealous.", he admits, "I wanted to be the one feeding you, wanted to be the one hugging, to be the only one to closely watch that beautiful smile of yours." You are rendered speechless. But Joshua has so much to say. "The outburst I had, it was only because I realised I have been in love with you and the possibility of you not reciprocating, was hurting." He rummages through his bag and you see him taking out a jersey. "You don't have to say anything now.", he smiles and pats your head, "Think through and", he hands you the jersey, "Let me know on the match day." You lay the jersey on your bed and see a 17 imprinted on white below the name Joshua. Joshua is by the door when he calls your name, "Whatever your decision is, I'll respect it.", and he's out of your room and house. You don't know much about basketball but you know when a player gives their jersey to someone prior to a match, what do they want and what can the indications be. You let out a scream and immediately fetch your phone to dial a number, "Hello, Rin...."

It's matchday. Joshua is nervous. Partially because of the game, partially because of you. When Seungcheol, a good friend and teammate of his from previous basketball school team had requested him to play one last game before they officially strike out his name from the team list, Joshua agreed instantly. A farewell game, he thought. The team does warm ups and stretches before the game starts. Joshua steals glances at the courtside every now and then but fails to find you. He's afraid that you won't come at all and his heart would shatter into millions. "Hey, looking there often won't make her magically appear.", Seungcheol knows and he teases, "I never thought our best shooting guard would be playing shooting hearts too." "Oh juicy juicy", Soonyoung, another teammate, who's also the centre of their team quips in when he overhears the two, "Joshua Hong is in love!!!", he shouts a little too loudly out of enthusiasm and now the whole team knows. The warm up is over and the game starts in twenty minutes.

Joshua checks his phone for one last time to see no notifications of your name and remembers you have his number blocked and contact deleted. Dejected, he switches off the device and deposits it to the collector, heading to change into his jersey. The game is already into the second quarter and Joshua's team is leading by only four points. Soonyoung slips causing his dribble to be cut and the opponent's point guard steals the ball and scores a two pointer. Soon the whistle blows and both the teams head to their respective locker rooms. As soon as Joshua enters the room, he's slammed against one of the locker by Seungcheol. He groans in pains at the sudden impact. "Listen dude, I get you're vagued but please don't let the team down. Coach is already contemplating on substituting you.", Seungcheol is frustrated, but he cares, "I want the best shooting guard within the entire school to score points. Stop being diverted and focus on the game." "Sorry", Joshua gruffs out, "I will--" "What the hell? Unhand him right now Mr.!" The whole locker room pivot their attention on the source of the voice. Joshua thinks he's hallucinating when he sees you standing in front of them, hands crossed over and brows cocked. Wearing his jersey and having his jersey number, 17 painted on your left cheek. Seungcheol looks at you, then he looks at Joshua to get the confirmation he needs. "It's her guys.", he announces with a huge grin as his hands free Joshua. Suddenly the locker room fills with  whistles, hoots and hollers. "Hi! Thanks for coming. I'm Soonyoung by the way.", a guy with questionably dyed hair greets you. "Hi, I'm Y/N...", you greet him back and gulp nervously when you realise all pair of eyes are on you. "We don't need to be here anymore it seems.", Mingyu tells Hyerin and the later nods, the two leaving to occupy their seats at the courtside. "Thanks in advance for saving the match.", Seungcheol comes to you and says, "And I'm Seungcheol, the captain." Then he looks at Joshua, "You have 10 minutes", and announces, "Clear out the room guys!" Everyone follows, all of them greeting you with huge grins making their way out. Now the two of you are left and the atmosphere turns heavy. You walk upto Joshua and grab his arms to shake him out of the trance. "Hi", you giggle. "You came...", Joshua whispers. You are about to say something but suddenly you feel yourself loose a footing as you are slammed against the locker, hands pinned over it. Joshua hovers over you, his body pressing yours and if you entire focus isn't on his lips, you could have heard both of your hearts beating rapidly. "Can't believe you agreed to be all mine, I don't deserve you ", he whispers leaning closer. "Just kiss me & seal the deal.", you bite your lips, gaze flicking to his eyes. "Gladly.", he smiles and closes the gap. Your lips are just touching when the whistle blows. You laugh, giving him a slight push, "Times up." Joshua tries to get back on you immediately but you manage to run out his grip and the room yelling, "Earn your kiss, babe!" And Joshua takes it personally. You never knew basketball matches could be this exciting and you regret not attending them previously. Oh the man, Joshua Hong is, your eyes are glued to him as he runs around the court with that sweat glistening glow on him. The game is now into it's last quarter and you squeal as Joshua scores a two pointer extending the lead. Everytime he scores, his teammates cheered looking at you and you're sure that the whole arena knows that Number 17 of home team is either trying to woo you or you both are already a thing. It's a few seconds until the game ends and opponents foul Joshua. All the players stand behind the three points line and the free line extension. You are brimming in anticipation as you see Joshua taking position at the base of the line. The home team needs their shooting guard to score the three points from the long shot. The long field goal which would seal the win. The referee blows the whistle, a cue for Joshua to shoot his shot.

Joshua takes a deep breathe, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips. The arena is pin drop silent all eyes on the man on the line. You breathe hitches when Joshua raises his hands holding the ball and looks at you. "This one's for you!", he yells and releases the ball looking forward. You swear the time slows down as the ball revolves on the ring, you admit dramatically, before it falls into the basket. The arena blasts with cheers and Joshua is already hurled over on his teammates' shoulder as they hail his name. You see him. He sees you. Then you're running down the stairs and jumping over the partition to reach him. The team hollers when they see you in the court. Putting down Joshua, they push you to him, circling the two of you as they chant in delight, "Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!" You grin looking at him which turns into a gasp when he suddenly grabs your hips and lifts you up. "Am I worthy of getting a kiss now?", he asks, smiling cheekily. Your response comes in form of you dipping down and placing your lips on his. You feel him smile against your lips as they slot into each other perfectly and he holds you to him tighter. "Get a room!" You both hear a yell, knowing it came from Mingyu. You are the one who breaks the kiss but Joshua pecks you one more before putting you down. The teases never simmer down for the rest of the evening.

"Thanks for all backing me up the whole time I was talking to them, my parents even started looking for universities for fashion technology courses.", you sigh in content, resting your chin on your palm. "You did a lot more for me. Talking to my mom, making me signing up for the varsity training program and whatnot.", Joshua makes sure you know how grateful he'll always be. "Oh by the way I changed your contact back to Anonymous.", you inform him. "You can't do this your boyfriend!" Joshua props beside you, with pouty lips and doe eyes. "I can. I already did.", you deadpan. "Why should my contact be saved as Anonymous?", he tries to snatch your phone, "Change it to babe, love, sweetheart anything. "You glare at your dramatic boyfriend, "Because that's where it started. You are my Anonymous." Joshua grins, finding it somehow cute and romantic at stance. "Anonymously Mine.", you say. "Anonymously Yours", he echoes.

Do not copy, re-post, translate, or share any of my works on other platforms! All stories are copyrighted, joonsytip. ©️

#svt flick - fic #svt fanfic #svt au #svt x reader #svt x you #svt x y/n #joshua #joshua hong #joshua x reader #hong jisoo #joshua x y/n #joshua x you #joshua fluff #joshua angst #seventeen au #seventeen joshua #seventeen #seventeen x y/n #seventeen fic #seventeen masterlist #svt #Joshua x oc #seventeen jisoo #Joshua ff #joshua imagines #joshua scenarios #joshua oneshot #seventeen imagines #seventeen scenarios #seventeen oneshot

[night-dazai]

hi can i request a hc about nanami being attracted to someone he hates (or find annoying) ? i think that could be a fun dynamic especially since he is always so composed probably a lot of sexual tension too 🤭

As per the poll, I will first be posting this request and the rest will soon join.

Hey babe, it was such a lovely request I am sorry I turned this a bit too serious and spicy 😅 if you still want the funny dynamics please let me know I'll do it

Nanami Kento x Reader 

Reader is the exact opposite of him yet why does his heart hurt when you are looking so tired or when you are hurt or when you smile? why does it hurt him? Is it anger?

Now what is pissing him off ? are you acting like a slut? or the man who does not respect women? It's the second one men should mind their manners around a kid like you. You were 24 and Nanami is your senior so he is just protecting you what soo wrong? He holds your arm pulling you onto his hard chest “ she is drunk “ he says dragging you from the party to the back alley. 

Fuck you pissed him off you do every time, the silly mistakes, your clumsy behaviour, unorganised life, schedule, always coming late to missions and work what is good about you? Gojo was at least the strongest so okay but you? 

You were just a little girl who got to be a teacher’s assistant you hardly had any skill you are most likely some grade 2 to 3 even if your card said 2 you were 3 to his eyes. 

But you were close to Shoko well, you both are buddies and you act all chummy with him why? cause you a slut! he thought pushing you against the wall “ hey ..that hurts “ you whimper rubbing your shoulder. 

Holding your chin he lifts your face “ if you are slut why do I get annoyed when you behave like that ?” his tone is harsh like his grip voice cold eyes annoyed brows frowning “ why “ at this point, he wants an answer but you are too drunk. You try to say something but fall limp as he catches your body. knowing you won't recall anything he just drags you home .

“ cause I love you “ you think and close your eyes seeing the man in front of you made you wet but he never liked you and it was obvious. 

Your head hurts and you opened your heavy eyelids “Where..” you mumbled and soon realised, clean white sheets and pillows a study corner and an armchair big and brown sat next to you and a door a few steps away led to the bathroom “I fucked up …….again!” you thought . 

You freshen up and wear the same old ripped jeans and white shirt walking out you see Kento sitting at the dining table for 2 drinking his daily dose of caffeine with the morning paper “It must be 10 am “ you think trying to walk towards him without making much noise . 

“Its 12 and you were still out cold “ he says in a stern tone folding the paper and sipping his cup not looking at you . Your mind goes into question. “ 12??? Was I out cold the whole morning ?” you thought and quickly took the seat opposite to him “ sorry sir “ was all you said. 

His face had no expression “ dont want your   sorry we have classes soon get out and been at class on time “ he warned as you grabbed your bag and coat which was placed carefully on the coat hangers next to the door “Thank you and bye sir “ you wave energetically at the bored man whos back is all you can see . 

You were late to class and Kento was even surprised at this point “ start by distributing the papers “ he says while taking the class, nodding you head you move from bench to bench “ mam why is sir annoyed ?” Yuji asked pulling at your sleeve end “don't know but have the same question “ you said and go on disturbing the papers.

“Y/n this is not the first second or even third or fifth time you are late, you are clumsy you cannot do one work right without someone next to you !” he is partially shouting at you , you never knew Kento even had something called anger you thought he would just brush it off . 

Pleading with your doe eyes you look at the man standing a few feet aorta from you “ fuck !” Nnanmi thought slapping his inner slef “why di i think she looked good looking up at me ?” he thought but kept shouting at you . He hates the fact that he feels stuffy when ever he is close to you “I HATE IT , I HATE HER !” his mind told him . 

You hated the fact you had to get scoldings like this, you did not do things intentionally, its was just you . And also the man shouting at you is the man you have a crush on , every night you imagine spicy things or fluff things you can do with him . You knew you never had a chance to get info from Shoko all the girls who dated him previously we kind, soft, sweet and charming feminine poliate ladies while here you were crying pathetically cause you could not come to your classes on time. 

Seeing the tears down your cheek Kento gets only more mad “ NOW WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU CRYING !” his voice high and angry very angry making you flinch in shock . 

“Whyyy….why did i get so…no its wrong i and just angry at this girl, she is stupid and clumsy unorganized..” his mind kept naming all the things you were bad at while his office door creaked open you were too busy crying and feeling scared to even notice and the Nanami was angry at himself for being turned on by your tears . 

“Hey ..” Gojo whispers sensing the heavy tension in the room he closes the door and walks to you opening his arms, you knew him for 4 years he is almost like you other than the fact he is the strongest while you were not and you were even more horrible at a lot of things than him . You could not move an inch and seeing this Gojo comes up to you and raps his arms “Shuhsss. Its fine “ he says and eyes Nanami “ Kento thats enough “ his voice firm and strong. 

Nanami wakes up from his thoughts and sees you shaking and sobbing in another mans arms, anger shoots up but his friend's eyes bring him back to his senses he has hurt you now . Running his fingers through his blonde locks he says in a softer voice “Leave “.

Gojo rubes your little back in soothing circles and whispers to you to go home and rest up 

Once the door is closed his demeanour changes “I get the fact you don't like how clumsy Y/n is but what you did not was wrong “ his eyes emotionless voice strong the white hear speaks, its rare for Gojo to be without a blindfold or sunglasses and today just happened to one such day “ why ? are you defending her ..” Gojo glares at his friend . 

“Dont ask “ he says before Kento can finish “ you are gonna regret this “ he says and walks towards the door but before opening the door “ no one would get this hard for a person they hate and “ he turns now to face his friend “ Never hurt her again she is like a sister to me “ he said walking out . 

Nanami was left speechless come on he liked you no way , his mind told but somewhere his heart was beating fast, and his thoughts raced to his reactions. Every time some man hugged you he wanted to rip you from him, every time you cried it annoyed him , every time you smiled his heart hurt . It took the blonde hours and that night he stood debating at your doorstep. 

Before he could knock you opened the door all decked up in a short tight dress to party your life out but stop seeing Nanami “Why..”you ask “ I am here to say sorry “ he says and almost does a 90 degree bend “ I never ment to scare or hurt you “ he gets up and eyes you frowning “ isnt this dress a bit too tight ?” he asks staring at your boobs . 

Gojo sipped his drink getting annoyed from hearing Shoko whine as to how late Y/n is “ she wont be coming today “ he said “what whyyyy? She said something bad happened today at school she is very sensitive you know “ she spoke like your older sister . Sighing Gojo replies “Kento “ Shoko looks at him “ i heard the noises but not the full story “ Gojo finished his glass “ well that man is a late start but i am telling you one thing , never underestimate him , kind , sweet organised ? huh bullshit ! he is the spawn of the devil “ 

“Does it matter “ you snap back , not brother he speaks “ I am sorry but if i ever have a chance lets have a date tomorrow 3 pm xxxx cafe, if you dont want to i will accept that i have been rejected “ his voice strong and frim . His eyes scanned you for a second, he could practically see your thoughts “Your face gives too much “ he thought and turned . 

He stopped short feeling you tug at his coat end “ Dont play around with me please ..” your voice soft and sweet low toned, all he could think was the different types of moans he can get out of that mouth of yours “don't worry i dont joke on such things “ he said and turned to find you staring at the floor with a red face and ears “ should I go to the club ?” you ask almost like a whisper . 

“No, “ he said again firmly and smiled finally noticing how you were rubbing your legs leaning close to your ear “How about I sit and watch you fuck yourself cause you seem to be getting off too much on my voice “ sending shivers down your spine you nod welcoming the devil into your house.

#jjk x you #jjk x reader #jjk smut #jjk #jjk fanart #jjk spoilers #jujutsu kaisen fanart #jujutsu kaisen #gojo satoru #jujutsu nanami #nanami kento #kento nanami #nanami smut #jjk nanami #nanami x reader #nanami x you #nanami kento smut #jjk nanami kento #kento smut #jjk kento #kento x reader #jujutsu kaisen nanami #kento nananmi smut #kento nanami smut #nanami x reader smut #jujutsu kaisen smut #jujutsu sorcerer #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen x you #jujustsu kaisen smut

[ughgoaway]

you're just a stranger I know everything about.

Content warnings; sadness lol, confrontation, crying, a few Taylor references because I am unbearable, swearing, shouting, and just general angst. (no happy ending either oops)

a/n; day 1 of the matty 35 celebration! and what better way to start it than with some teacher au angst?? I know my birthdays always have an air of melancholy, so I feel like this is appropriate. I fear this is rushed and SO bad, but eh, too late now!! anyway, enjoy! maybe? if you can?

word count; 3.5k ish

(this fic is an extension from the "don't you think of me?" universe, which you can read here.)

✿❀✿✿❀✿✿❀✿✿❀✿✿❀✿✿❀✿✿❀✿✿❀✿

The text sits on your phone. Every time the screen starts to dim, you tap it to keep it illuminated, yet you don't reply. You can't. Every muscle in your body feels frozen except that one finger. 

Tap. Tap. Tap. 

You watched the phone dim, but the name of the contact seemed to stay just as bright, even when the light is as low as it can be, “Matty. DO NOT TEXT.” glows on your screen. The warning was added against your will after a few too many drunk almost-phone calls. 

Tap. Tap. Tap. 

It’s an hour later when the phone dies. You knew it was coming, watching the percentage of charge drop slowly. You got the 15% warning. Then the 5%. But still, you did the same thing until the screen finally went black.

 Tap. Tap. Tap.

You don't need the phone to be lit up to remember what the message said anyway. You’d read it a thousand times over already. You’d analysed it, broken it down, performed autopsies on every single word, each letter was scorched into your brain. 

“Hey y/n, long time no talk. 

I hope you got my letter, if you didn't read it, that's okay. You already know everything I said. You always knew me better than I did. 

Anyway, I know this is a long shot, but it's my birthday party next week, and I just can't imagine celebrating without you there. All I can think about is my last birthday, me and you in Hawaii. I don't expect it to be like that, but I would love it if you came. Even if you just had one drink, we don't have to talk. You can wave at me across the room and stay far, far away. Treat me like I've got the plague for all I care, but just come, please. 

Give an old man his birthday wish?

See you there, maybe. I hope so, anyway.

Matty x” 

You want to do the same to the text that you did to his letter, burn it to a crisp. But that doesn't exactly seem feasible, considering your phone was £500, and probably not flammable. plus, you had blisters on your fingers for weeks after the letter, and you dont know if it's worth it again.

But you can't deny that the blisters were oddly comforting. Reminding you what you did every time something brushed your digits, that he was gone, and you had the power. The ball was in your court, and you intended it to stay there.

And it was there for months. But Matty ruined that by sending that message, he got the power back whether he intended to or not. And it was made even worse by him telling Charli, and her endless phone calls begging you to come.

You’re so good at telling her its not going to happpen, and every message that comes in gets a firm “no.” or just gets point-blank ignored. She begs, saying that she needs a friend there and that she'll even let you choose a few songs for George’s DJ playlist. But you stay strong, shaking your head and sighing, insisting you've moved on, that chapter of your life is closed, and you'd like to keep it that way.

So you can't help but wonder how you ended up dressed up on a Saturday night standing outside of Matty’s house, bottle of wine gripped in your shaking hands and the distinct noise of your heels clicking against the pavement as you walk towards the house you've done everything you can to forget. 

✿✿❀✿✿❀✿✿❀✿✿

As soon as you walk in, you can tell the house is different from how you left it. Obviously, the strobe lights and birthday balloons were new, but even ignoring those, the whole space felt wrong. Even more unforgiving and cold, which was impressive considering every inch was covered with people, dancing and chatting. Still, a lifeless air hung around. 

Your eyes darted around, finding the places that you used to occupy. The painting you bought Matty no longer hangs on the wall, replaced by yet another award. You can't help but feel bitter when you see the poster celebrating the album full of songs about you. The spot where your mug used to sit on the counter was empty, but the dark stained ring of coffee remained, forcing you to fight a small smile. maybe he hadn't completely erased you, even if he tried.

People recognise you immediately, and they don't hide their shock well. They might think that they do, smoothly recovering from their initial surprise, but they don't. You see their wide eyes and disbelieving glances, each person acting like you're a ghost haunting the house you once lived in.

You play pretend along with them, smiling as best you can and answering all their questions.

"How's work?"

"How have you been?"

"you seen any good films lately?"

but, you both know you're dancing around the one question they really want to be answered.

why the fuck were you here?

Eventually, the people stop coming, and Charli finds you, plying you with drinks and half-slurred thanks as she begs you to stay for just 5 more minutes. You agree, only because you have yet to catch a glimpse of the birthday boy, and that made everything just bearable.

You quickly regret that decision when you see him not even a minute later, standing by George in the DJ booth smoking a cigarette and laughing in that contagious way he always did. High pitched giggles and his head thrown back.

But he doesn't see you, so it's still okay. You can hang on a few seconds more. Your chest might be tightening with every moment, but you're not suffocating yet.

However, when a tall blonde girl walks over and starts making out with him, it suddenly starts to feel like the room is on fire, and you’re choking on the invisible smoke. The burn of the flames starts to feel all too real when he pulls away from her, though, and his eyes find yours as if they're magnetised together. 

The realisation falls over his face immediately, dropping his hand from around her waist and trying desperately to weave through the crowd surrounding him. You don't stay to see if he breaks through the sea of people, already rushing out as fast as you can, forcing your cup into a stranger's hand and moving as fast as your legs can take you.

✿✿❀✿✿❀✿✿❀✿✿

“y/n, stop.” You hear Matty’s voice behind you as you storm out his front door, but you don't turn. It sounds muffled, like you're being pulled underwater, and someone is screaming at you to get up. But the waves keep on pulling you deeper, and his voice becomes more faint with every step you take.

Yet, as soon as the cold air fills your lungs and his skin finally touches yours, you're pulled out. You spin around as soon as his fingers graze your shoulder, acting like even his touch is painful as you wrench away.

It was finally here, the time you were dreading. The time when it was just you, him, and everything that remained unsaid.

His eyes held yours as the silence of the night surrounded you, and you couldn't help but study him like you always did. He looked different. Not better or worse, just different. The colourful lights in the house had been hiding his features. 

He had more lines on his face, deeper ones on his forehead, but the ones around his mouth had lightened, his smile lines fading. You could still tell even when it was slicked back with heavy gel that more grey streaks danced through his curls.

His eyes were the same, though. Always so telling, so revealing. If you wanted to know exactly what Matty Healy was thinking, look in his eyes. They spoke more than he did. Which sounds absurd if you’d ever had a conversation with him, but you'd bet your life on it.

You almost start to soften at the sight of him, old memories flooding back. Flashes of warm sun and hot kisses, filthy sex followed by soft breakfasts in bed. But then he speaks. Why do men always do that? Just as you're thinking about saying something and trying defusing the situation, they open their stupid mouth.

“Where are you going?” he asks softly, his chest heaving as he desperately sucks in oxygen, his lungs fighting to catch up.

“Home, Matty. I shouldn't have come. I don't even know why you invited me.” You try to spin and walk away, to finally move on. But of course, Matty’s voice drags you back under once again, and the same water fills your lungs.

“stay, please. i dont know why i invited you either, but I did. I didn't expect you to come. I just-” Matty stutters as he speaks as if his brain can't catch up with his mouth, things pour out that he doesn't mean. And he knows it. It's crystal clear as soon as his wide eyes shoot open, processing what he had really just said. 

He didn't expect you to come? He put you through all this and didn't think you'd show up? What was the point then? Was it just to hurt you? Did he just want to see if he could? to see if his name popping up would have the same effect it always did, make you come running to him?

Your body moves without thinking, turning to face Matty with fires burning in your eyes, "You didn't think I would come? Then why the fuck did you even invite me, Matty?! to flaunt your new girlfriend? to try and "win" the breakup? Well congratulations, you've fucking won. I'm sure that model hanging off your arm is just perfect for you.” sarcasm drips from your every word, burning Matty like acid rain.

“No! It's not like that. I don't know. I think- I think I was just scared we’d never be in the same place again. That I would love you for the rest of my life, but I’d never see you again.” his voice softens as he speaks, and you almost want to give in, to crumble at his gentle tone and warm eyes. But he can't still love you, it seems impossible when you go back and see the destruction he left behind.

“That's what a breakup is, Matty. And did you ever think about me? About what I want? I can't help but think that maybe that would've been better. If being in the same room as you means feeling like this, I don't ever want to see you again.” You spit back angrily.

Matty's nostrils flare before he speaks, and you can see the anger building inside him. It takes a lot to get Matty to shout, but you can tell with every second you're making him inch closer. And you don't know why that makes you feel so good, but if you're honest, you don't want to know.

You want to keep going, keep pushing. You want him to act like he did that night. You needed to see it again. You needed to know he couldn't ever forget the night you're forced to remember. 

“y/n, I don't- I just don't know what to say to you. What do you want from me? Do you want me to say that saying goodbye to you was the hardest thing I've ever had to do? That it ripped my heart out of my chest? That it fucking destroyed me? It did. Of course it did, you always made me feel everything. Losing you was no different.” You heard the way Matty’s voice cracked the more he spoke, but you ignored it. If he wanted to pull the dagger out of your heart, it was his job to deal with the bleeding.

“It didn't feel that hard when you stopped coming home at night. Or when you were fucking screaming at me. Or even that night when you walked out the door, you made it look pretty fucking easy that night. Because that's how it was Matty, you left. So don't come to me bitching and whining that it destroyed you. It's your fault. All of this is your fault.” you feel your voice wavering, but you suck in another breath, refusing to let him see you weaken, to see that wall you built start to break down. 

“I deserved a better goodbye, Matty. If the goodbye you gave me hurt, the one I deserved would have fucking killed you.” You poke Matty in the chest harshly, pushing him back on his unsteady feet. 

Streetlights flicker above you, the severe light dancing across Matty’s features. As long as you can remember, this light was busted, flicking on and off at will. It used to annoy you, distract you at night when the light poured through the curtains of Matty's bedroom.

Tonight, however, you loved it. No one could hide what they were really feeling under the harsh yellow glow. It seemed to pull every emotion to the surface of your face, illuminating even the darkest parts you wanted to hide.

So it was easy to spot when anger reared its ugly head in Matty. This time, he doesn't push it back. He physically can't.

He needs you to know that it did kill him to say goodbye, and that you can see that. he needs to understand how you can’t you see that he's the shell of the man he once was as he stands here?

“I apologised to you. I know you got my letter. Thanks for the response, by the way, a great way for us to get closure for whatever the fuck this was.” venom drips from every word that falls from his lips, and you have to fight to hide the smirk brewing on your face. 

Finally. Finally, he was angry. He was pissed off. This is what you needed. You need the big fight, the final breakdown. Just one more time, you tell yourself, just one more screaming match, and you can move on.

A scoff involuntarily is ripped from your chest, as if you can't believe the utter bullshit coming from the man across from you. “I'm sorry, you think you deserve a response? What would I say in it, “Oh Matty, I'm so sorry! You're so right. Please let me come over so we can fuck all night!!” I know I'm not your usual airhead type, but you have to think more of me than that”

Your voice is high and piercing as you speak, and you know it. It always was when you started to get riled up. However, in this moment, you didn't care. You just needed something to happen, for him to get just as annoyed as you've been for fucking months.

“You don't think I deserved anything, though? Not even an acknowledgement?” his incredulous eyes met yours, begging you to take everything back and say you're sorry too, that it wasn't just his fault, even if he knew that wasn't true.

“Why should I? You never acknowledged my feelings. I don't think you asked me how I felt in the last month of our relationship.” Wet tears start brewing at your lashline. You want to fight them falling. But you can't, your resolve weakening with every second he stands in front of you.

“you know, that night we broke up, I realised something. you hadn't said you loved me in weeks. I said it every morning. But you'd hum back, or nod, or hug me. But you never actually said it.” Matty tries to cut in, and you already know what he wants to say. But you don't let him, powering through his half started words and desperate eyes.

After a few shaky breaths, your words start pouring again, “You treated saying “I love you” just like how you treated saying sorry. Like it would kill you to even think it. You've still never properly apologised for how you treated me, never said it to my face. But when we were together, I found myself saying sorry thousands of times over for feeling anything. I felt guilty for being pissed off at you, like I was doing something wrong. But I had every right to be! You had become a man I didn't even recognise, and for some reason, I still loved you, even when I shouldn't have. But at the time, I didn't see that. All I saw was you hurting. And because all I do is care, I wanted to stay. To stay for you, for us. Our family.”

Seconds pass, but they feel like minutes. The harsh wind blowing between you whistling through the street. Your eyes can't be dragged away from Matty’s, tears falling freely between the two of you.

And suddenly, you don't want him to be angry any more, you don't want this all to happen. You wish you could go back, never come here. But time doesn't work like that, so you’re stuck with tears pouring down your face as you stare at the man you once thought was the love of your life.

“Do you still have feelings for me?” Matty whispers, and you could see the desperation on his face, wet eyes tracing your every feature.

In that moment, he didn't know what he wanted your answer to be.

If you said no, it would kill him. Every ember of hope smouldering inside him would be burnt out, never to be relit.

But if you said yes, he doesn't know if he can let go. If you say you still feel anything for him, he knows he’ll be looking for you in every universe until he finds the one where you stay.

“I won't ever not love you, Matty. No matter how many times I tell myself I've moved on or that my life is better without you in it. I will always love you, and that's fucking agonising.” you sniffle as you speak, and you almost want to laugh at the absurdity of it all. How did you go from screaming at each other to professing your everlasting love?

Matty wants nothing more in that moment than to start begging you to come back, telling you how you can make it work, to talk about what he would do to get you back. But he knows he shouldn't, so he doesn't.

“Annie still thinks about you all the time you know,” Matty says, and your chest hurts from the whiplash of this conversation, jumping between memories of your old life so fast its almost unbearable. But you knew Matty. He needed to jump around to stay sane, so you jumped with him.

“I know, I remember you saying in the letter that she stopped asking when I was coming back. Is that true?” your voice drops again, as if you were sharing secrets at a sleepover.

“I thought it would be easier when she stopped asking, maybe then I'd not spend every waking hour thinking of you. But when the day came, it wasn't easier. It was like watching you leave right in front of me all over again. It brought me back to walking into the house for the first time after you left, looking at the empty space and trying to figure out how to fill it. Annie was filling it by asking about you, but suddenly she wasn't, and that glaring hole in my life was back." Matty's voice breaks as he speaks, but he clears his throat and tries to ignore it.

"I realised then that I'll never not think about you. Even if no one talks about you. Even if I never see you again, I'll still think of you.” Matty sucks in a shaky breath as soon as the words stop pouring out of him. His lungs seemed like they were sticking together with every word he said, and it felt like death. But he couldn't stop the rush of words, so he let the death surround him.

“Tell her I said hi” you reply meekly, not sure what to say in response to Matty’s outpour.

“I won't” matty says, forcing a half smile and chuckle that you half-heartedly return. 

Once again, the blanket of silence surrounds the two of you, enveloping you in a way that feels all too familiar. So you break it, not letting yourself fall back into old patterns.

"i just dont understand how it all happened so quickly. how did you go from a stranger to the love of my life, only then to become someone I wish was a stranger all over again?" You whisper, your shaking hands coming to cup Matty's wet cheeks as you step closer. His hands wrap around your waist instantly, pulling you in and holding you so tight it almost hurts. 

Silence hangs between the two of you. But its no longer painful or awkward, stilted or angry. It was a silence of acceptance, an acknowledgement that this had to be the final goodbye. There was no erasing the past, the demons that followed the two of you couldn't be ignored. So you were done, this was it.

Eventually, you pull away, and your face hovers in front of Matty’s for a few beats too long. You want to give him a final kiss, a proper goodbye. and you swear you can almost feel his lips against yours, taste the salty tears that would fall from your eyes. You don't, though. Your hands drop from his wet cheeks, and you walk away.

Every fibre inside you wants to turn around and go back to him. It feels impossible to face the future with the person you planned to spend it with standing 10 steps behind. But you do, moving forward and trying not to mourn the life you know you can never get back.

#starting off the celebration strong #by bringing the mood down #my fav activity #sorry if this is bad! angst is fun but HARD #matty healy fanfiction #matty healy x reader #matty healy fic #matty healy angst #the 1975 fanfic #the 1975 angst #teacher au! #Matty35

[coldbrewreid]

Falling the hard way.

[ Spencer reid x reader ]

WARNINGS: lots of mentions of anorexia, overexhaustion, professor - student relationship, sickly thin reader

note: this is how i cope, if you feel triggered by any of these please dont read. also, i am in no way trying to romanticise eating disorders.

Summary: when you joined university, you thought it would be different than highschool, but you were wrong. The bullying stayed, making you relapse anorexia. Dr. Spencer Reid’s eyes worryingly go after you everywhere.

[READERS POV]

Another semester is ahead of me, today is the first day of new beginnings. You already went there for a year or so, but this time everything changed. As I pulled the clothes on my slim body, with coffee in hand, I left my apartment. Everyone was treating me differently since I lost a lot of weight.

Some with fascination, some with frustration, but non with worry. Until this day. First lesson for the day was criminology, so I rushed to the room filled with some students already. All that hurry made me really dizzy, so after finding my seat, I took some more sips from my iced americano. I left it in the fridge yesterday, it was still good thought. When an unknown middle aged man walked into the room, my eyes widened. Who is this dude, and where’s our old teacher? She wasn’t that tempting as this fine man was.

- Good morning Students! My name is Dr. Spencer Reid. As you might know, unfortunately Dr. Flamming died yesterday. - He sighed, then look around a bit. We locked eyes for a moment, and it almost made me as dizzy as pe classes did back in highscool. His beautiful hazel brown eyes struck into me like lighting, leaving me scarred for the rest of my life. I can’t have him. First of all, he’s my professor, second of all, he’s like fourty- and last but not least: I’m fucked up. I wouldn’t be able to recover if somebody was watching over me, waiting to fatten me up so they can make fun of me. I have to do this on my own.

He started teaching, this time we talked about trigger. How criminals get sucked into, and destroy their life for something that happened to them. I have been only bad with myself, so no jail for me. Maybe the mental hospital would be a good idea, but I’m not even sick enough for that..Will I ever be?

I saw the girls, even some boys were already amazed by Dr. Reid. No way I would ever have a chance with someone like him.

I stood up way too fast, when the class was over. I wanted to go out for a cigarette, so I can clear my head. Ruining my plans, my vision went blurry, and my stick legs gave up their duty. I fainted, like on those stupid eating disorder movies. How lame, I should know fucking better then this.

I woke up in a hospital, which already made me panic big time. I wanted to leave, but someone prevented me from doing so. I thought it was a nurse, but no. It was my criminology professor.

- Hey! Go easy now. You have to stay here. You are severely malnourished, but I think you are aware of that fact too. - He sighed, and soon a nurse came in too with…food.

- No thank you, I’m not hungry! I’m curious about when can I leave? - I said, sitting cross legged on the cheap bed.

- You can either have this meal young lady, or you can have the tubes again. - It’s the same nurse as five years ago. I hate my luck. I saw Dr. Reid was worried, so I took the plate. - Thanks. This was just a tiny slip up, I promise. I’m way better! - I said to the woman working here. She sent me a disbelieving scoff, and left the room.

- What a bitch. - I muttered, and picked up the plastic fork. Usually they give silver ones, but they know me already. Once I tried to attack a nurse who was trying to force feed me.

- She is just worried. We all are. - He started at me, volunteeringly watching me eat. - Do you want some help? I know it’s hard to get yourself to do it in this headspace.

- Don’t profile me. I like privacy when I’m eating. Okay? - I looked at him annoyed, but he only smiled a little. What a jerk!

- Absolutely not. I’m gonna sit here, and watch until you finish that. - He sat down, leaning forward to watch me play with my food.

- Are you into feederism or something? - I sighed, and slowly started eating, drinking some water after each bite.

- No, I’m not into eating disorders in general. Listen, you don’t know me. Why don’t you speak about your relapse? It’s easier to tell someone you hardly know. And maybe I can help. I’m pretty big into psychology as you could probably tell. - He chuckled a bit at the end, and god it was adorable.

I swallowed the food that was in my mouth, drink some more water, and started speaking again.

- Well, why not. It’s stupid tho. There was this phase in high school when I would hardly eat anything, and throwing up after I had something. It was because all of middle school, they bullied me for my size. They even pretended to like me, so they can wound me harder after I believed them. It was a nightmare. Anyways….I somehow recovered, and now I’m here again. I had some of my old friends tell me that I gained a lot of weight and that hit the spot probably. - I fought back tears at the end of my speech, I was embarrassed, mortified even.

- I saw your picture up on the university wall. You are one of the top students. You looked really pretty. Mesmerising. You weren’t even chubby. I realise they probably meant that in a positive way, meaning that you are glowing, you look healthy, and..yourself. But for a former anorexic, it’s really stupid to say that. A simple compliment would have been better. I’m so sorry. Come here. - He spread his arms, inviting me to a hug. I was very vulnerable, so I gave in.

- You did so well. So so well, and I’m really proud of you. I mean it. - He pat my head as soon as he let go of me, and I honestly thought I was in heaven.

#dr spencer reid angst #spencer reid angst #spencer reid x reader #ed disorder #ed not sheeren

[likeysoob]

I’m so blind by likeysoob

Episode 1

“You ever thought high school would be easy?” My mom looked up from her phone to answer me. “Oh no sweetheart. I always thought it was going to be hard.” At least I’m tying to look for some hope before high school starts. I look down at the table just being lost in my thoughts until my mom puts a plate of food in front of my face. “Thanks mom.” I said then begun to eat.

When I finished with my food, I went upstairs to lay in my bed. My eyes started to burn but I didn’t really feel sleepy. As the time rolls around 9pm, i decided to go on my laptop and watch some videos. I really dont have friends. They all left me for some reason. I guess i was boring? They were bad friends anyways. I have online friends but I dont want to talk to them right now.

My cat just lays on the floor by my feet. 2 hours pass by and i start to feel tired. I get up and change into my pjs then lay in my bed. My eyes slowly began to fall as i feel my cat snuggle by my feet. I hope that tomorrow will be a good first day of high school.

Well, i woke up not good. My body hurts and i really dont know why. My mom was yelling at me saying i was late and now…“ I CANT BELIEVE YOU SLEPT THROUGH 3 OF YOUR ALARMS Y/N!” Yeah…she still is. I didn’t say nothing back and just let her continue. Soon, we were close the school and she was talking about basic high school stuff. Once we’re here, i unbuckle my seat belt and open the door to leave. “Oh and! No talking to boys! No boys!” I turn around towards her and smirk, “wasn’t planning on to mom!” I watch her drive off and smile to myself. “That’s because i like girls…”

When i reached the main doors, i took a look around. “Why is this school so big?” “I know right!?” I jump back in fear. I turn my full view onto the person next to me. Holy shit. Who sneaks up on someone like that? “Oh sorry! I didn’t mean to scare you!” The random girl apologized. I dont give 2 shits though. “Um yeah…it’s whatever.” I say, the girl smiles at me, man she’s pretty. “I’m Ning Yi Zhuo but just call me Ning!” She takes out her hand for me to shake and i do. “This is my 2nd year here and I’m still not use to how big it is…are you new here?” Ning asks me. “Um yeah actually, i just got here and yes, i do know where my classes are.” She smiles at me. “Great! I’ll see you around! The bell is about to ring!” Ning runs off. I actually don’t know where my classes are, i just don’t want to talk to people right now. I walk inside the school doors and turn the corner to see some boys already fighting. “Man it’s too early for this shit..”

After running around this whole school, i bump into someone who was clearly right in front of me…why am i so blind? I should really get glasses. I look up and see this girl with short hair. Damn, shes cute, why are there so many cute girls here?! “Oh im so sorry!” She said and i shake my head, “no it’s my fault, I wasn’t watching where i was going!” God this is embarrassing. “It’s fine!” She says, we stand there in silence. “Uh, sorry i got to go!” I ran out of that situation the fastest i can. Where the fuck can I find this class?

I soon found the class. Should i go in? Class ends in 10 minutes. As I’m deciding, the door swings open and a student walks by me. I look inside and the teacher is staring at me. “Sorry I’m…late?” You know, it really looks like i was skipping from the teachers point of view. “I’m sorry, im new here? I was having trouble finding my class…” the teacher only looks at me. The fuck? Bitch speak. I give him a side eye and go sit on an empty desk, hopefully it wasn’t that persons desk that just left right now. The teacher continues on with his lesson, im not sure what class this even is. I turn to the right of me a see this girl with light pinkish hair. All she does is smile at me and looks up to the teacher.

The bell rings, i get up from my chair and grab my bag. Before i could take a step out the classroom, someone calls for me. “Hey! You!” I turn around to see that pinkish haired girl from before. “Yeah?” I respond to her, “I’m Rei, what’s your name?” Her voice is pretty, “oh um im y/n!” I say awkwardly. Omg my voice cracked, im going to die now. “Pretty name, you’re like really pretty! You like to sing or dance?” It feels so overwhelming what she just said, my name pretty? me being pretty? “Yeah i really love singing!” I itched my neck. Great i look like a fool who doesn’t know how to talk. “That’s great! Me and my friends are trying to gain members for this music competition and id like for you to join!” She says while pulling something out of her backpack to give it to me, it’s a flyer. “See you around!” She walks off. I look down at the flyer she gave me.

Wow…the girl on the flyer is really beautiful….like really. Wait, they don’t even have what day!? I guess I’m going to have to message them. I put the flyer into my backpack and go to my next class.

The rest of the day was boring. No one interesting in my classes, rude ass teachers, and nasty lunch. Didn’t expect to the lunch to be this shit when this school is so big. So now I’m in my bed just laying down waiting for my mom to come home. I think high school will be easy, like what’s even going to happen this year? My life is boring.

see all episodes | next episode ->

#kpop #kpop gg #kpop story #lesbian #wonyoung x female reader #ive wonyoung #wonyoung x reader #wonyoung #kpop writing

[chaos-grimlin]

Is there going to be another part of marked soon

Yes rn!! Sorry for not being active

Intro:No one truly knows what happened that night in Woodsboro, California. All the public knows was that two teenage boys, Billy Loomis and Stu Macher, went crazy. That the boys killed with no motive, that it was a case of crazy and peer pressure. Sidney Prescott, the "girlfriend" of Billy Loomis,Y/n L/n, the girl both boys were deeply obsessed with, and Gale weathers, a news reporter, where 3 of 5 witnesses that were willing to talk and tell their sides of the story to the public while Dewy Riley, the deputy sheriff of woodsboro, and tennager Randy Meeks refused to talk to law enforcements at the time. All the stories told to law enforcement seem to differ from person to person, but...in this tale, we will focus on Y/n, the obsessions, side of the story...

Marked (poly Billy Loomis and Stu Macher x reader)

Word count:1207

Chapter 20- Fucking mask..

^^^Y/n P.O.V+ a one week time skip^^^

Ever since i was dismissed from the hospital, my mom and Dad said it was better if i stayed over at Dewy's and Tatums.

My parents were right, it wasnt safe for me to go back home..i dont think it ever will be okay or safe for me.

"Hey! Y/n you okay?" Tatum chirped out as she sat down next to me on the couch.

My eyes snapped to the left as i looked over at her. "Oh yeah im okay" i said as i rubbed my arm.

"Thats good, also Dewy said you'll be able to come to school tomorrow, but only if you want to" Tatum said as she looked at me, a smile pulling at the corners of her lips.

I paused for a second before i spoke again "yeah...i guess i can go" I muttered.

"Yay!" Tatum squealed out as she pulled me into a hug.

I hugged Tatum back then, we parted.

"Everyone will be so happy to know your okay" Tatum said.

"What do you mean? Our group already know im. At most half way okay" i said, cocking an eyebrow up at her.

"Oh everyone else at the school, teachers, students, staff members" Tatum named off.

"Why would they care" i whispered.

"Nothing like this has happened since Sidneys mom...so.. Every one is worried"

I took in a deep breath, rethinking my choice on going to school tomorrow. I just know everyone will bombard me with questions.

Tatum put her hand on my shoulder, once again pulling me out of my thoughts. "Hey it'll all be okay.."

~~~~the next day~~~~

Dewy parked his car infront of Woodsboro high.

"Bye you two" Dewy said, a smile forming on his lips.

"Bye" Tatum said, a sassy tone lacing her voice as she got out of the front seat and shut the door.

"Bye Dewy" I whispered as i opened the door.

After I shut it and went to walk off, Dewy stopped me.

"Y/n..if anything happens, if you get too stressed, ir anything, call me" he said as he handed me a crumbled piece of paper.

I looked down at the paper, seeing slopply written number on it. I smiled slightly and nodded " i will"

"Bye now, have a good day" Dewy said " you too" i replied.

Shortly after I turned on my heels and started walking to the school, seeing Tatum waiting by a tree for me.

Me and Tatum made it about halfway to the doors before Stu rushed up to us.

Stu, had a smile on his face.

"What are you smiling about Stu?" Tatum asked as Stu walked next to her.

"Well, today seems like a good day if you must know" Stu said sharply, yet his goofy tone still remaind.

Stu looked past Tatum and looked at me.

For a split second, i thought i saw the look of regret, or Fear, cross his features, but, as quickly as i saw it, it was gone..

"Oh your back!" Stu said quickly.

"Yeah..i am" i said as I averted eye contact with him.

"So your feeling better?" Stu asked.

All i did was shrug to his question.

From the corners of my eyes I saw Stu look at Tatum and whisper something to her.

I tried to hear what he said but i couldn't.

"Anyway! Lets go find Sid, Billy, and Randy" Tatum said, quickly averting thr topic away from what Stu said.

~~~~a few moments later~~~~

"Y/n you actually came!" Randy yelled out as soon as he saw me.

I felt a fuzzy feeling flutter inside my heart when I saw him.

Randy hopped up from his seat next to Billy and quickly rushed to me.

Randy engulfed me in a tight hug.

I wrapped my arms around him and laid my head onto his shoulder.

"I thought you wouldnt come today" Randy whispered into my ear.

"Well, im here" i said softly, but, from over Randy's shoulder, I saw Billy glaring at Randy.

If looks could kill, Randy would be 6 feet under.

The look he ran shivers down my spine, he looked like he was planning something, something bad...

Me and Randy soon pulled away from the hug after be planted a kiss on my cheek.

"Hey Y/n, long time no see" Sidney said with a soft smile.

"Yeah..its been a while"

^^^3rd person P.O.V^^^

Everyone at Woodsboro knew what happened, most were sympathetic, others decided to make school Y/ns own personal hell..

Everyone knew what costume the two hellish people wore the night Y/n was raped...

Y/n leaned up against her locker, letting a breathy laugh leave her parted lips as Randy told a random cheesy joke.

Everything was going okay, other then everyone, even teachers, constantly bringing it up..

Y/n knew they had good intentions, but she hated every bit of it..

Soon, the bell rang.

Y/n looked up at Randy and smiled, " I've got to go, bye!" Y/n said.

"Byeee"

Y/n turned in the oppistie direction and started walking.

Y/n thought that everything was okay today, she wasnt sulking, sje wasn't feeling like she was the problem...

Everything was okay....

Untill she saw it....

That costume...

That goddamn costume...

Its black eyes locked onto hers.

Y/n felt every muscle in her body tighten, as her breath hitched in her throat.

The masked person rushed up to her..and that's when it happened..she felt like sje was transported back to the night...

When she ran through the street, desperately calling out for help as the masked man trailed behind her.

Y/n turned on her heels and started running.

In her mind, she was back there, running for her life..

The school floor turned into concrete, the lights were gone and replaced with dim moonlight.

Y/n didn't want it to happen again..

Run

Run

Run

That was all that ran through her mind as she ran.

She heard the person's harsh foot steps behind her.

Tears filled her eyes as she took a left down the hall.

She didn't make it far before the person jumped on her.

A scream left Y/n throat as she squirmed and flailed her limbs around.

Soon, the person turned her to hwr back, and Y/n balled her fist up, and hit the person hard..

Y/n snapped out of the trance, she was back in school.. She was kn her back on the floor and the person who tackled her fumbled back and quickly ripped off the father death mask.

"MR. JONES" the princable screamed out as he came to the scene.

Alex Jones stood up, clutching his hand over his broken nose as the principle looked at him in pure disappointment, then he looked at Y/n, who was shaking and crying on the floor

Before the principal could say anything to her, she jumped to her feet and quickly ran off.

Little did anyone now, that Billy and Stu watched the whole thing..

Theu saw how much they had scared Y/n that night...at with that... They knew she'd be easier to use....

#billy loomis #stu macher #stu macher x reader #randy meeks x reader #billy loomis x reader #billy loomis and stu macher x reader #casey becker #randy meeks #scream #ghostface

[my-castles-crumbling]

Dancer anon advice

Hi all! Someone wrote me about some advice, I'm just copy and pasting it here so I can add a 'read more' line and format it a bit differently than usual so I can keep my thoughts in order!

Italics is their writing

Bold is mine

i noticed ppl were using this blog to ask about stuff, so here goes ig?

(also im sorry this was going to be me asking about gender stuff but now its just kinda my life story 😭 if you dont want to answer this, you can just write a post saying like. dancer anon i dont feel comfortable answering this or whatever)

Ahhhh, you all need to stop apologizing! I never mind helping!

im afab, and i feel like i never really fit in with gender? like, i would always be so jealous of my feminine friends but i didnt feel good when dressing feminine myself

i also take dance classes (i started at around 6/7) and i felt like i had to wear all the skirts and shit because i wanted to be pretty like the other dancers, and i felt really terrible after a few years of that, because i hated how i looked in them and how i looked when i danced

(i also used to have a dance teacher whos hands were always cold and thats all i can remember about him but i really hated dancing with him and would get relieved when classes were over. ive hated dancing with boys/men ever since)

and it got like. really bad. i believe? (my memory is actually terrible. i cant remember anything for the life of me, so it could be my mind overexaggerating, but anyways.)

i would always ask for me and my teacher to just do stretching because i hated how i looked when i danced because i hated the skirts and everything because i hate my legs and how they look when bare. i hated attending dance classes because people would see me and see my legs and see how i looked and i felt terrible all the time (i think i was around 9 or 10 at this age?)

so one day i had a whole crying fit and my dance teacher told me that i dont have to wear skirts or whatever, i can wear pants and shit (i was so fucking relieved. istg. i now wear skirts to dance only like. couple times a year maybe)

and then soon enough covid happened! (also keep in mind that i grew up like. really sheltered. i did not know what gay people/transgender people were until i read fanfiction about warrior cats 😭)

and i was so delighted! because on distance learning, no one would see me and be able to judge me for how i dress or whatever

at around this time, my fear of everyone masculine really grew. its still there. im fucking terrified of all men. i cant help it. like every boy man masculine person. i get so scared. i hate it. i hate it so much

but then covid came to a halt, yk, school started again .-. i felt like shit, honestly. i didnt have ANY clothes i felt comfortable in. my hair felt too long and "feminine" and i wanted to cut it for the longest time. my clothes made me feel terrible. i hated how the leggings would wear on my legs and how my sweaters would show my body shape and how my butt looked (i still really hate how it looks. why is it big. i dont want it to be i hate it so much)

yeah so there i am, feeling dysphoric as shit (i did not know what that was, back then, by the way, but i believe thats what i was feeling)

didnt help that my only friend was a toxic, lying, manipulating bitch who led people on for fun and always expected everyone to worship at her feet

after a while, i discovered different labels! (bisexual was the first label i had for myself. i felt good with it, ig?)

and then i got to the gender situation. i used so many girl alligned terms because i was so scared of being percieved as the very thing i am terrified of (masculine ppl). i went through demigirl, girlflux, genderfae, genderfluid, i beleive, maybe somethign else too, because i wanted to stay connected to being a girl.

Okay so here, I want to ask, what's the reason to wanting to say connected with being a girl? Is it feeling like you are partially a girl? Not wanting to be connected to masculinity? Not wanting to let go of the 'girlhood' that you grew up with? None of these reasons are bad but I think thinking about this more might help you figure out your gender.

around this time i started doing leader steps for dance. the euphoria i felt. please.

ahhhhh wait! I do ballroom, too! I'm a follower, though. what's your favorite? I LOVE tango. Okay, sorry, I got distracted.

found out i was a lesbian, used nonbinary but with she/they pronouns and felt like shit whenever anyone called me she but didnt want to make a big deal about using they

ooo, okay here- asking for your correct pronouns isn't 'making a big deal.' it's asking for what you need and asking for respect.

found out i was aroace because "people actually find video game characters attractive?" 😭

thought i might feel better as a boy? cut my hair. i loved it so much (i still do) (that was may of last year) got baggy clothes. covered up my figure. did leader steps for dance.

over the summer i started using labels such as agender? which i feel like fits me?

anyway, thats the life story part, now for the part about what the fuck am i

i feel like shit whenever im called a girl or refered to with feminine terms. im not sure if it would classify as dysphoria or not, becuase i dont feel /that/ bad about it, but it still ruins my mood and kinda makes me want to cry.

okay so here's the thing. not 'feeling THAT bad' doesn't mean anything. Dysphoria is dysphoria. and this is dysphoria. Just because you're not throwing up in a corner doesn't mean your feelings aren't valid.

if my grandma calles me granddaughter, girl, whatever in russian, it automatically ruins my mood. makes me feel terrible. i hate it.

i dont feel as bad when my sister calls me her sister, though, for some reason.

Okay! So for me, I hate being called a lady, but I don't mind my wife calling me her wife. Again, this is all completely valid <3

when i get called by she/her i hate it so much. i dont want to make a big deal about asking for they/them - sometimes my friends remeber, sometimes they dont.

ive never tried he pronouns, dont think i want to.

they/them pronouns dont give me that much euphoria either, its just like. ok

Okay! Have you tried neopronouns? If you're not interesting in those, it could just be that they/them is what feels best. And that's okay, too!

another thing. my friend has another nonbinary friend. she always genders them correctly, but almost never me. it makes me feel like shit, like she cares more about getting their pronouns than mine, even though i know that thats not a good mindset and shit.

*loud buzzer sound* wrong. Your friend should be gendering everyone correctly, not just some people. Good friends care about making their friends feel comfortable, and this friend is making you uncomfortable. Would you feel comfortable talking to them about it?

also, heres some more on my fear of men because who doesnt love being scared out of their wits irrationally :D

my dance teacher had to leave to go back to where she lives, so they gave me a male teacher (i tend to only have female ones.)

i would be in tears every lesson. i felt like shit. (also i hate the sound of peoples voices and he would always be talking and i hate it so much because his voice, amongst others, is one of the ones that hurts my ears the most.) i even went to my mom to ask her for a change which helped ig? my new teacher is really nice and i love her so,,, yeah

Okay, I want to stop here to say- a lot of this has to do with gender, right? But this particular response seems to be rooted in trauma. Without prying too much, I am wondering if there is something that happened with a man or masculine-presenting person or people? You do NOT have to share with me, but this might be something to explore with a trusted person in your life. I mean, there is a chance it's gender-related, but in the most loving way, there seems to be something deeper going on here.

anyway, you dont have to answer this, i was going to just ask for help with labels and feeling like theres no correct label for me (i use agender now, for simplicity, because i dont feel connected to having a gender at all)

So I guess my question is, how do you feel about the agender label? When I looked up the definition, it seems to be defined as exactly what you described- someone not having a gender at all.

Also, remember that your gender identity and expression are two different things! You can identify as agender (or any of the other things you mentioned) and still choose to dress however feels most comfortable and use whatever pronouns feel most comfortable. There are no set rules except: do what feels most genuine and comfortable!

if you do want to answer this but dont want to use this large of an ask on your blog, just call me dancer anon, i will see and understand 👍

again, sorry for dumping all of this on you

ahhhhhhh don't be sorry, you are a wonderful human!

have a wonderful day

you, too! please message me if you want to talk more! <3

#ask #asks #ask cas

[b1ueoff1ine]

I'll Be Home For Christmas

Professor!Otto x Reader

Prompt/Summary: You're boarding at a school overseas, and most students are going home for the holidays. You can't afford the trip, so you've decided to stay despite the fact that you miss your family. A charming man who happens to be teacher at the school invites you to join him and his family for Christmas. During the break, you relearn what Christmas, and love, are all about from a new perspective.

Warnings: Age Gap. Angst. Fluff. (let me know if I missed any!)

A/N: any one wanna be tagged in part two? also the gif- the background I'm imagining as a chalkboard so it makes sense.

WC: 777

_

"I know, I know, honey, but it's what we've got to deal with. You can make it through break without us." Your father's voice came through the phone.

"But-"

Your father cut you off. "No buts. We dont have the funds, you don't have the funds. You've just got to deal with it."

"Fine." You sighed in frustration, hanging up the phone.

You weren't going to be able to see your boyfriend this Christmas, nor your family. Despite how much you wished you could return to the US, you didnt have the funds for flying overseas. You were stuck in London for the holidays.

No one could guess you were from America. You had lived in the UK for years, the surrounding peoples influencing your accent. You visited your family every summer and winter break, it had become something very important to you.

That was why you were so bummed. And a few years ago was when you met your then soon-to-be-boyfriend who you felt an instant connection with.

But that didn't matter now- you couldnt go home and see him.

You felt like crying. You wanted to. But there was other students in the hall with you. So you headed to your dorm.

You arrived to your roommate's side halfway cleared out, them exiting the room with their suitcases in one corner.

"You get to go home? I thought you were staying here." You scoffed in frustration.

"Hey, I didnt know it was happening until this morning. Dont get angry at me." She replied, eyeing you with concern. "Relax, we still have classes today. I'm not leaving you yet."

"Fine." You said reluctantly.

You had every class with your roommate, which was nice.

You went to your first class of the day and suffered through it. The students next to you were a couple, and they were kissing and cuddling like you used to with your boyfriend in the US.

It made you so upset, you snapped at them. "Pay attention!"

"Ugh, fine." The girl looked and sounded disgusted that you were speaking to her.

The rest of the day was torture. You literally had almost every class with that same couple and they were distracting as hell. When it got to your last class of the day, the day before break, you were pissed at them.

"Shut up and pay attention!" You snapped.

The girl looked disgusted again.

"Thank you, miss L/N for reprimanding those two. I was starting to get annoyed." The professor spoke to you, but angled the annoyance towards the couple- specifically the girl.

Her disgusted expression turned to a mixture of surprise and confusion.

"Pfft." You stiffled a small laugh.

The professor smiled. "Now, miss L/N, care to tell us what you are going to be doing over the holidays? We might as well start with you."

You nodded and stood. "I wish I could go back to the US, but neither my family nor I had the funds to do so. So I am staying here to explore the parts of the UK that I have not yet seen." You finished and sat down, leaning back in your seat.

It was the last class of the year before break, yet it seemed to last forever. Student after student talked about going home for the holidays and spending time with their loved ones.

You sighed as the bell finally rang. It was so unfair that everyone got to go home and you couldn't.

You were just about to leave the classroom when you heard the professor call your name.

"Miss L/N, a word please."

You heard a few students 'oo' and 'aw' thinking you were in trouble. But you knew better than that.

"Yes, Professor Octavius?"

He waited until all students had exited the room. "I couldn't help but feel sorry for you for not being able to see your family this winter break. If there is anything I can do to help, let me know."

"All I need is the funds. But I dont want to ask for them- that would be rude of me."

"Oh, dont worry about that, dear. I'd be glad to help."

"Thanks for the offer, but I meant what I said about exploring London."

"If your sure." He said in a slightly concerned tone.

"Although, it would be nice to have some company on my adventures." You said aloud, forgetting where you were for a moment.

"You know, my family ventures around the UK every Winter break. I'm sure they wouldn't mind a small addition to that tradition." Professor Octavius chirped, a warm smile on his face.

"I dont want to intrude-"

He was persistent. "Please, dear, I insist."

__

#fanfiction #fanfic #fan fiction #bored af #dr otto octavius #otto octavius #otto x reader #otto octavius x reader #doctor otto octavius #doc ock x you #doctor octavius #doc ock #doc ock x reader

[minimeowsom]

14 BL Men i would allow to steal my heart on the 14th of Feburary.

Happy Valentine

My first and longest Relationship of four years ended just two Weeks ago. and what do we do to get over men? we stan more men. So this post is me Fangirling BL Characters.

Note: i thought about if i wanted this to be actors or Characters, but in the end i dont know anything about the actors, so that would be purely phisical wich is kinda boring, so this will be abour Charakters more then actors ( but lets be honest sometimes the actor just plays into it, i am biased after all. With that being said: LETS GO.

Not on this list but very VERY cute:

I love Porchay, Tinn and Gun, and i know the actors are all 18 now, but when they where Filming they were all minors, so are thier caracters. It dosent matter to me that i am not much older. Tinn , Gun and Porchay go in the cute folder and stay there.

14. Hia YI (Cutie Pie)

I knew i would end up with one of the Hia-Squad Guys on this list. in thhe end it is Hia Yi, I personally find him a bit more atractive then Lian but it also breaks my heart how gultiy he still feels for Diaos accident. I think he cares so much that sometimes he doset know how to act what makes him distant, wich is the reason he only manages spot 14 on this list.

13. Leo (dont say no)

So first of: i was todays days old when i found out Leo und Fiat are a support ship in Tarntype but anyway ... i like leo, he is lovabale, cute, supportive and can man-handle you if wanted. What puts him a bit down for me is how just accepting he is sometimes, like have your own willpower if you just do what i say , i feel like i am taking advantage of him.

12. Price (Sky in your Mind)

I think i am kind of simmalr to Prince, we would get along, ofc i am not an aristocratic heir, but i am studying to be a teacher, i love being around kids and i have a more gentle personaltiy, this is also the reason he is not higher, i dont think we an really chalange each other to grow. but he is probably the most cute canditate on this list. and he will always be.

11. Kinn (KinnPorsche)

And here my bias beginns.... Kinn is probably the worst boyfriend on this list if you ... you know not wanna die. But he is my Bad Boy, the one who would burn the world for you, would kill for you, and still would be kind to you and you only. He is gonna leave his mafia Life behind for you (like he wanted to for Porsche) and GOD i am sorry but Mile is so fucking atractive its unfair.

10. Sky (Love in the Air)

If i wanna have sky on this list i gotta kind of disrigade his Trauma, cause i know i would not be able to take care of it at this point of my life, i dont know if i could handle it, like Pai can for example. But if we talk about his looks: i mean sky is very pretty and i find him very cute in casual cloth. His Personality also seems very entertaing to be around, he can be fun,cute, sassy and seems highly intelegint so you can have a good conversation with him. Sjy biggest "downside" is how he sometimes just forgets to communicate with people that care about him, wich could become pretty anoying i imagainen.

9. Akk (The Eclipse)

I will say this is the point where it just into who is my typ the most (maybe with one exeption), but that being said i love the eclipse and you will find Akks other half even higher on this list (just because he is more my type xD ) but akk is someone so incredibly sweet, he of course hase the brainwashing problem that has to be dealt with but as we can see as soon as his views get challenged he shows how much he cares, you can also see this side of him earlier with his friends, so i think Akk is just gonna get goofier with time.

8. Win (Between us)

I don’t really know why i need Win on this list, but everytime the WinTeam, Into you, edit comes into my YouTube autoplay i just fall in love with him again. Of course it has to do with the fact that bourn is a very handsaome guy, but also how deeply he cares, not only for Team but for his siblings, and friends. He ofcourse has his own problems, than again who doesn’t. Also i can’t explain why but i find swimming extremely attractive. Don’t judge me.

7. Sound (My School President)

So sound is just cute, i would like someone to court me so respectfully aggressiv like he is courting Win, sound seems distant at first when he joins the music club, but warms up to them and turns out to be kind of a goofball himself, he cares for them and even try’s (to no success) to hide his wrist injuries so to not worry them. I think by now my type kind of shows himself: i am really into men who can man-handle me but in a very respectful way if you know what i mean, and i feel like sounds just fits so perfectly on that description.

6. Gaipa (Moonlight Chicken)

So Gaipa is kind of cheating myself, because as already mentioned with Akk , Akks second half will be a bit later on this list, and big surprise if i like Aye , Gaipa is really not that far away, after all to no one’s surprise they look the same. But i could have done this with multiple people on this list so why Kaipa? I just think the way Gaipa showed his love for Jim is so lovely to me. His food is his love language and i feel like he is getting absolutely robbed by Jim, He knows Gaipa likes him and just ignores him.He is kind, thoughtful and so desperately in love with Jim that i can’t do anything but feel sad for him being stuck in between where he is. When he loves you he gives you his all. I am interested to see how his story will progress and maybe he will be even higher by the end of Moonlight Chicken.

5. Pat (Bad Buddy)

So when i tried to decide if i want Pat or Pran higher on this list i had a rough time, I think my problem is that their characters shine in their Relationship with each other the most. So i think separating them takes away a lot of it. But we are not here for deep analysis we are here for my Valentines Shitpost. And i think Pat is fun entertaing and very Handsome, maybe to me even a bit more Handsome then Pran to me. But i think he would clash why harder in many regards. I would like to keep it lowkey and i need my life to be organised so i think Pat and i could have fun but we would clash and challenge each other a lot.

4.Pran (Bad Buddy)

As mentioned it was a close race for fourth between Pat and Pran and eventho i personally find Pat a bit more Handsome i think personality wise i would match better with Pran. I like his artsy side a lot, and my god i don’t know why i didn’t say that when talking about Sound earlier but my god Men that can play gituar and sing me to sleep just double their attractiveness. I also like how organised he likes to be and his a bit more (at least compared to Pat) slow and gentle personality. Pat is an all in lover wich i can respect but i have a bit more respect for Pran, he loved Pat for so long without knowing how to convey his Feelings or if they even ever had a chance, that man truly loves and if he does he does so for a long time.

Before my Top 3 : so those three i shuffled around like 5 times while making this list and i still feel like the list changes every other minute. But i love them all so much and god if one of them wants to become real and date me , hit me up

3. Parpai (Love in the Air)

Okay so to start this of: i think Fort ( or parpai, take it as you want) is incredibly attractive. I started watching BL cause i saw a picture of him in the Viki Preview of Love in the Air. That is also one of the reasons Parpai is so high on this list, he just holds a special place in my heart. But also if you ignore his first not so respectful aggressiv courting at the beginning you get a very green flag. He cares and communicates so much, he makes sure his partner knows he is there for him and he sugar baby’s him (that is not needed tho) also something i said in my love in the air review is that before i saw Fort i never understood what it means when people say someone has gentle eyes but god damit i can see it with Fort. Everytime he looks at anything really he just seems like he could calm my worst moods pretty easy, if you wanted more what i like about Parpai i could write down Skys notebook here but you can just watch Ep.12 again and you will know. Parpai will be always one of my favourite characters.

2. Kim (KinnPorsche)

Kim is just as Kinn ealier Probably not a really good Option when looking for someone to date. His family just is a major Problem. He knows that too, just look at his broken Love for Porschay. But he is in anyway the Softer version of Kim. Yes he is in a very Dangerous Family but he is way less involved, He would also Kill and Burn the world for you but i feel like Kinn would burn it down first and then look for you and Kim would look first. And i said it before and i will say it again: MY GOD i love my sining guitar Players. The softness with wich Kim looks at Porchay makes my Butterflies have a dance party every time. Breaking my Character only Rule here the most i also gotta say that Jeff Satur is to me one of the most Attractive People out there. And if he is actually like he is portrait in Interviews and lives i would be super down to date someone like him. I fell so hard when he said his pet peeve are bully’s. It sounds so standard but most people have why more trivial things as pet peeves and bully’s i think is an incredibly sweet answer. Also the way and the patience with wich he takes care of the so much younger Barcode shows how lovable he is. BUT going back to Kim even tho dating Kim would never be free of danger i think he would do EVERYTHING to keep you out of it. because he loves you.

1. Aye (The Eclipse)

We had Khao on this list ealier where i didn’t say it but i think it is pretty clear that i think he is super Pretty and Handsome. He wouldn’t make the list twice if i didn’t think so. But why is does Aye win the Gold Medal and Kaipa doesn’t? First of i Personally think no one on this list full files Respectfully Man-Handling you the way Aye does. He is just so sweet, playful but sure of his beliefs and ideals, he is also willing to compromise to make his partner comfortable without letting them do the wrong thing. I can write a long list of words here what i like about Aye: Handsome, Funny, Kind, caring, Smart, Wilful, Loveable, committed. But i don’t feel like i do him justice, I can’t discribe what makes me love him so much. If you haven’t seen the Eclipse. Go watch it. Its really good. And Fall in love with Aye like i have. I also want to add that i think Khao does a great job acting, he is a very skilled emotional actor and makes you feel like you wanna cry when he is said but also makes you happy with him, wich makes Aye feel so alive.

Anna Out ^-^

#bl dramas #ohmnanon #bad buddy #bad buddy the series #fortpeat #ohm nanon #pat x pran #patpran #the eclipse #bad buddy series #kim x chay #kinnporsche #kinnporche the series #kinn theerapanyakul #don’t say no #akk x aye #moonlight chicken #love in the air #between us #bounprem #khaotung thanawat #jeff satur #my school president #nanon korapat #soundwin #winteam #sky in your heart #cutie pie #yidiao #tinngun

[emptifylie]

im on day 8 of my fast. i walked 20k steps today and burned 500 calories. i look better i think.

anyways. i feel stuck in the past, and ive felt like this for months. i have to remind myself constantly that im not living the same life as i was anymore. that i was at my thinnest over a year ago, soon itll be two, and ive yet to get back down to 90lbs since. i think about my ex every single day and it makes me feel so fucking miserable. i find myself comparing him to everyone and everything in my life. i constantly am left to wonder if i would be a better person if i never met him, and i know that i could have been. my teacher was talking to me about my grades the other day, and how they declined last year and he asked me what happened. how do i explain that i let an ugly man get me addicted to drugs and use me for months just to forget i exist in the end. so i didnt say anything. i dont know how to be a good person anymore. since we broke up ive been smoking way too much weed and other shit lol and i think that it numbed me enough to make me forget that anything ever changed. hes moved on, in fact he moved on by fucking other girls before we even broke up. man i just want to feel someone's love again. i dont know what i did to deserve this kind of loneliness when im surrounded by people all the time. i was still lonely when he loved me though because i knew, just like everyone warned me, he was going to hurt me. sometimes i even think he did it on purpose, that he likes to ruin people. every day i look at the scars he gave me and i try to force myself to remember all the bad things hes done to me to make it hurt less. i do not want to miss someone who was capable of hurting me this badly. anyways whatever fuck idek what im saying. i just hope that one day i can forget about it all and just be a human being again. its been too long since ive lived in the moment without him in the back of my head. i hope i start to take care of myself like i used to one day.

#eating diary #4na diary #tw ana diary #pr0 ana diary #a4a diary #@n@ diary #ana rant #ana rambles #only pro for tags #pro 4na #4na blog #4na vent #@na vent #ana vent #4na fast #not pr0 4na

[flyingspicystrawberry]

Between Us Thoughts!

Starting with episode 3 and will be updating here as I watch because I didn’t do this for 1 or 2 but. Here we go. 

My stream of consciousness throughout Between Us Episode 3

First of all, I’m glad it’s immediatley on Youtube. They had a whole thing with last episode which meant I couldn’t watch it right away which was very said. Right, let’s get into the ep.

so Team is skipping swim club again. Why are we still avoiding Win? I know you’re an anxious mess of a human, but come on. I am already seeing something concerning regarding Team's want to exercise. If i analyse this too deeply I’ll get sad so I’m not going to. Yet. 'Win will eat you alive' bestie he BEEN eating Team alive and not in the way you're talking about

OH DID BEE JUST RUN INTO HIS OWN LOVE INTEREST? Or should i say nearly ran over? (Let's fucking go) I wonder if this is the guy from his class that never turned up to lectures that the teacher called out last time?

HAHAHAHA WIN IS WAITING FOR YOU Team you fucking moron of course he's waiting for you, you SKIPPED SWIM PRACTICE this boy is so fucking dumb. 'did you dump him already' - 'DONT TALK ABOUT HIM LIKE THAT AGAIN' Win is already so whipped. Dean you're so right about him making Win this grumpy. I love that Dean just , immediately read Win and figured out what's up with him. - this means that Dean knew about Win and Team from the get go?! Does he just think it's a crush? Does he truly know what they’ve been doing?! Team is so fucking grumpy 'why do i have to be afraid of him' - then as soon as he has to deal with Win he’s IMMEDIATELY LOOKING LIKE A PETULANT CHILD IN FRONT OF WIN sticking out his lower lip like a baby. ARE THERE BITEMARKS ON TEAM'S SHOULDER?! Those look like bitemarks,,, we know Win has a thing for Team’s neck and shoulders don’t we! Team's getting drunk? This never goes well. 'WHY DO YOU CALL HIM HIA?' oh they're so suspicious. oh man. Oh these shots from their first hookup?! We haven’t seen these, right? Oh the way Team is looking at Win is everything! Win's just in this boy's mind 24/7 isn't he? Win telling the friends 'You dont have to be afraid of me' - My mind is making those parallels to the scene in UWMA where win tells team that he doesn't have to be afraid of him?!?!!?!?! there's so much in my brain here, I can’t... Win telling Team he was just worried about him? Then Team asking what right Win has to be protective? I’m going to put my foot through my ciomputer because of these two... THE WAY WIN'S THUMB IS MOVING ON TEAM'S SHOULDER AFTER HIS NIGHTMARE? Also, that was a very quick passing-out-into-nightmare timescale. Four seconds? We’re just going to ignore this.

I can't get over the fact that they just EXPECT Pharm to have food for them, not even a 'hello' but a straight up 'yo do you have food for me?’ Also, those are the sweets that Pharm feeds Team, then Win, then Dean in that iconic scene in UWMA... You can see the way Team's anxiety just sets right in after that comment about the competition.

FUCK we’ve got the backstory. I imagine that’s his older brother? Did his older brother drown, or is it Team who nearly drowned? Fuck, this is going to be painful when we figure out exactly what happened. Win can immediatley sense that something's wrong with Team. oh no. oh he’s traumatised.

I can see Win looking at Team and just thinking that ‘oh it’s adorable... oh it’s traumatised’ meme.

I know that Dean’s supposed to tell Team to train harder because he’s the president of the swim team, but at the same time I don’t agree because Team is a baby who needs protecting. You can see how worried Win is about Team already. Win just, almost forcibly adopting Team is adorable. like 'youre sleeping with me tonight. stop being a baby'.

Are they already borrowing clothes?! Oh god they really just tumbled right into domestic here didn't they.

I see win wears chanel, dior, and gucci fragrance. My man smells GOOD. Also

Win why are you acting all abashed for talking in on team in the shower? You've already railed him, who cares if you see his bare ass again? Team thanking Win for helping him sleep?! No what the fuck I’m so-  oh that little kiss, oh he's so in love. It's so fucking cute. He's warm and fuzzy and already just obsessed with win. he might as well be lying on his tummy kicking his feet and tirling his hair.

NEXT EPISODE PREVIEW THOUGHTS: 'you adore team more than any other 1st year, but ifd you're not gonna take this seriously' - 'i didn't want to let it be this way' MY GOOD SIR WHAT THE FUCK. TEAM LOOOKS SO HEARTBROKEN. WHY DO WE HAVE TO WAIT ANOTHER FUCKING WEEK.

#between us #between us the series #rambles #sorry about this i needed somewhere to empty my brain

[sammydem0n64]

YEA MAN, tell me uhhhhhh, feel free to ramble about any pokemon things you got going on in your au that you don't mind spoiling/talking about!! very interested to hear about some of the other charas!! :]c

OK WE WILL B DISCUSSING THE LOYAL THREE FROM THE DLC Ik you already know abt them bc you keep reblogging posts abt them + Ogerpon + DLC in general but I also know you havent played the game and won't for a hot minute so . This is spoilers for you bc it may be incomprehsible AND lore filled!

But I have some thinkies about the Loyal Three (mainly Munkidori)

Ok so basic run down of their canon lore since im adding it to the au: They're outsiders of Kitakami who came from another land, they're a gang of thieves who wind up killing a man (Ogerpon's trainer, though in the AU he's her father!) because they try to steal Ogerpon's masks from him and wind up going too far, and likewise they get killed as revenge by Ogerpon and are regarded as heroes by Kitakami. But they come back lol

There's also the fact that the toxic chains they have gave them their abilities (Munkidori's psychic abilities + intelligence, Fezandipiti's looks, Okidogi's strength and muscles), they were just Some Guys before gaining these chains

AU Has some stuff going on there too! Mainly for Munkidori bc I'm still working out background kinks for the other two given that. I gave this man some #lore and it'd b sad to give him all the cool backstory and the other two are just there, and there's also stuff abt them that will come out in the part 2 of the dlc sooo I gotta wait, but anyways

Munkidori is Zarude's adoptive son. Yknow, Zarude, the mythical SWSH shit out! I am completely neutral on Zarude but in the AU they're primary the God of Family! But since 1) a few other gods relate to that like Xerneas being the god of fertility and whatnot and 2) these family units fucking suck, they live away from the Gods and enjoy a life of solitude.

Munkidori was a mere mortal child when Zarude found him and decided to raise him, and his childhood was good for the most part! However, he was never the brightest child, so he was bullied in school by both teachers and students for his low grades/low intelligence. He always wanted to be something greater, but he couldnt do anything substancial without an education. Zarude tried being there for him, but ultimately it was never enough. He started to resent the people around him and yearned to become smarter, stronger even

This resentment soon was applied to Zarude. He began to believe he lived in his parent's shadow, since they were a deity and he wasn't. Sure, Zarude is hardly respected amongst the gods and is a very minor deity in the grand scheme of things, but they were still powerful. They were still an ultimate lifeform. And he was given none of that. Zarude didn't give him immortality, Zarude didn't give him cool God powers, he was just a simple mortal who couldn't do anything right. He wanted to be powerful, but he was denied it.

So when he hit adulthood he ran away from home, soon meeting Okidogi and Fezandipiti (fellow troubled young adults like him who wanted to be something more) and they formed a gang. Thieves who claimed their power back by harming the innocent. Munkidori was their defacto leader, which satified his need for power.

Along the way they were found by [ ] who granted their wishes through the toxic chains (this is. DLC part 2 thing. I know bc of leaks!) so Munkidori actually GOT intelligence (and psychic powers), seemingly without price (there IS a price. The Loyal Three's worst tendancies are now heightened due to the toxins in their body but dont worry abt it)! This only aided in the trio's crimes until they had to flee to Kitakami to escape the ramifications of their actions

Where the canon differs is that I imagine the Loyal Three actually did serve as proctors of Kitakami for a bit, though of course it was for selfish reasons. Free room, food and board for helping protect the innocent and all! But ultimately they all still committed murder against an innocent man and died as a result.

I don't know how they came back to life as of now (Tho I probably will when the rest of the DLC drops), but they all come back the exact same but everyone (... Zarude. Just Zarude) thinks they came back wrong. And they want to whoop Ogerpon's ass for killing them (its been 200 years. She was cursed with immortality FEEL FREE TO ASK ABT IT TOO)

And yeah! Thats the backstory lore I got, so I'll just list some other minor stuff I have cooked for the loyal three! Lil headcanons if you will

-They're all trans men, Fezandipiti is just extremely GNC

-...I think Okidogi has a little crush on Wo-Chien, which is sillay and not gonna work out bc Wo-Chien is one of Ogerpon's found family members and they are NOT gonna give the guy who killed their new baby's dad A KISS!

-They were all in their mid 30s when they died and are still like that now that they've come back, lol. They might have immortality now after being revived but we'll see

-Zarude constantly lives with guilt that they weren't a better parent to Munkidori, though they have no clue that he. Like. straight up became a criminal and died. They just know he's dead bc they raised him 200 years ago and he was a mortal sooooo yeah. Haunted by the horrors ESPECIALLY when he comes back and he's unrecognizable to them !

-I might make it so Fezandipiti and Okidogi also had a connection to some gods, just not on the level Munkidori has lol

-Their relationship with one another is. [Shrugs]. Like yeah they're a team but they constantly argue. but also stare at each other's tits (dw about it.). and they're kinda like a found family I guess? But also not really bc a lot of this was out of convience? they don't know what they are but they sure did die together!

-They technically have "a master" (aka the one who gave them the chains) and they might have been the force who revived them... and thats p funny bc imagine being Munkidori and you're entire thing is that you want power SOOO bad and youre finally the leader of a group so BOOM dreams achieved, and then you turn around and remember that 10 year old god (you also fucking hate the gods (take a guess why) so this is extra salt in the wound) who did weird shit to your brain is actually running the place. But forgot about you for 2 centuries. until now. Bro I'd die again.

#asks #human pokemon au #WOOOOOOOOOO these men.

[keisrandomvlog124]

a woman and her youth

I am 7, sitting in front of my pink and gold nightstand, mom is yelling at me to go back to sleep, I read a little bit and go to bed late. 

i am 8, sitting at my kitchen table. My mother just spent the evening yelling at me because the kids in my class are stealing my pens and colors. I don't enjoy school anymore. 

i am 9, spending my summer alone in my home cause i have no friends, i try to read but i fall asleep as soon as my hand touches the paper

I am 10, crying myself to sleep because the boys in my class started comparing my underdeveloped  body to a 17 year old and demanding it will never be good enough.

I am 10, being groped by my closest boy friends because “relax it's just a joke”. I develop insomnia.

I am 10, I get punished for beating up one of my friends cause he touched my ass. 

I am 10, my boy friends only talk about porn and how disgusting girls our age look because we don't have breasts nor ass just like the supermodels they see in the playboy online. I stopped reading.

I am 11, i get called a slut and a pussy because i'm not entertaining the males in my classroom, i start hating myself. 

I am 11, my classmates masturbate in class while

I am forced to sit next to them. I have no interest in school anymore. 

I am 11, I get body shamed once again, since my preeteen body will never be good enough. 

I am 11, I have my period, I am a woman now. but still not even a teenager.

I am 12, starting highschool alongside my friends. I try to read but i can't. 

I am 12, being berated by my teachers and classmates because I will never be good enough.

I am 12, lockdown starts, I become closer with my male friends thinking they have finally matured. I don't have a care in the world.

I am 12, I gain weight and hide my body in hopes that no one will notice, I start feeling bad about it.

I am 12, mom thinks i look like a slut because my old pants don't fit me as loose as they used to. I try reading but I can't. 

I am 12, hiding myself in baggy clothes and internet media to distract myself from the humiliating thoughts I have about myself. 

I am 13, I cut my hair short, like really short. Boys dont like me anymore. 

I am 13, drinking and smoking starts becoming a recurrent hobbie. I haven't read a book in months.

I am 13, my male friends start hating my appearance. I start hating myself again.

I am 13,  my classmates begin making fun of me again. I will never understand why. 

i am 13, i am quiet in class, i don't make noise, even when i go cry in the bathrooms. I start hurting myself. 

I am 13, ending my life stops being a recurrent thought in my mind until my friends begs me to do it. I don't want to go to school anymore. 

I am 13, my obese friend calls me a whale, a slut, an emo, a bitch and an ugly whore. I stop going out. 

I am 13, getting teared down while attempting to play videogames. I stop playing them. 

I am 13, I get cheated on. I start finding comfort in  being sad.

I am 14, my insomnia gets worse, I start getting picked on again. now by my female friends. I start noticing my unattractive features. 

I am 14, everyone makes sure I notice how big and dark my eyebags are. I know, I couldn't sleep for days.

I am 14, I lose interest in everything, I don't wanna go to class, I don't want to sleep, I don't want to eat.

I am 14, I start losing weight, I still don't feel good about myself. My teachers start noticing my insomnia. 

I am 14, i get called anorexic, i'm not even underweight. I still have the desire to eat less. 

I am 14, everyone still makes fun of my insecurities. i start wearing more makeup. 

I am 14, i stop trying to be a natural makeup girl. I can't leave the house without makeup.

I am 14. I start hating every ounce of my body. I am unable to feel comfortable.

I am 15, I start getting better, I accept everything. I still hate myself. 

I am 15, I convince everyone I'm better. I still have insomnia. 

I am 15, i keep hurting myself, i convince everyone i don't. 

I am 15, I start drinking more and more. My teacher begs me to read. I can't. 

I am 15, I keep getting skinnier and “prettier”. it will never be enough. 

I am 15, my eyebags and sick face are still the only matter of conversation with me. I have slept for hours. 

I am 15, my friend picks apart the defects of my face like she’s playing operation. 

I am 15, i have several suicide attempts. i don't think about it as much as i used to.

I am 15, i don't know anything anymore. i don't care. 

I am 10.

I am 11.

I am 12.

I am 13.

I am 14.

I am 15. 

I will never be good enough. 

I am a woman.

#writing #writeblr #writers and poets #feminism #struggle #mental health