#and i think thar her son would be the one thing she doesnt really talk about. like how butch doesnt talk about blair

[corvidexoskeleton]

wait hold on. this whole quest to help find two different people's children has gotta be really tough on Darryl. And yet she's the one who pretty much does the most work on it (not because the others don't want to, it just happens that way). Does she ever get bitter about it? That the others get a happy ending, or at least closure, while she couldn't?

I think she's put enough distance between herself and what happened that she's not *technically* bitter, or at least not because other people are able to get closure but she didn't

Because even though she prefers to keep to herself, I don't think she would have been too proud to think that she can just shoulder all of this shit on her own and not seek professional help at some point, because she would. And not because she's given up, because as you mentioned in an earlier post/tags, she'd still keep her eyes and ears open long after the case has gone cold in the hopes that she can pick up something, see if she can at least figure out what happened even if she can't find her actual son

But in the midst of that, she'd also try and get some fucking therapy, or maybe she already was getting some, but then had to add the whole missing son debacle on top of what she was already getting help with

So she would have realized that she has some major issues bc of the way her parents raised her, and because of how much responsibility they shoved onto her and expected from her, and how she basically had to step up and take care of Derrick when she felt their parents fell short, and would want to take care of that so she doesn't accidentally project anything onto her son by accident or end up doing what her parents did

But then her son goes missing, and suddenly she has to also deal with that. And as you said, there's clearly foul play involved, and it becomes more apparent the longer he's gone and the more she looks at the situation. And maybe they do find proof of foul play, but there's never enough to actually find him, or even find out what happened. And god knows the guy she was seeing at the time wasn't exactly an emotionally in touch person, so even though they both legitimately cared about their son and wanted to find him, their ways of handling it and dealing with the situation more or less caused them to split up. And since she's already getting help with the childhood stuff, she figures she may as well get through the new stuff as well

As for the bitterness... she knows that it wasn't Derrick's fault that Kellogg abducted his kid, and it wasn't Butch's fault either. They both did what they could to physically fight him off, and they have the benefit of having at least a lead, if nothing else. If she's bitter at anyone, she's bitter at the system that decided to give up on her after only offering a half-assed search attempt. And maybe she might have been a little bitter at the original Nick Valentine when he eventually had to focus on other things, but at least he actually cared enough to help as much as he did

She doesn't really think there's any point in being bitter at people for getting something that she couldn't, not if they had no say in what happened. She helps them out because she doesn't want them to have to go through what she did. If she were bitter at anyone for getting something she wasn't able to, then she just wouldn't help them, simple as that

#ask #rockshortage #fallout #darryl murphey #and i mean even though she still got help for everything #it can still affect her #bc it didnt go away. she just learned how to deal with it #this is going to make you sad but #i mentioned earlier when we were talking about how comfortable hector would be with showing skin #that if she saw his scarring then she'd ask about it #and if they were drinking then she'd want to show off some of her own Battle Scars #but i was thinking that at some point hector would eventually see the scarring on her stomach #and i think thar her son would be the one thing she doesnt really talk about. like how butch doesnt talk about blair #so hector sees that and is like????? you have kids??????? #and if they've been drinking then she'd probably talk about her son #but at first it would be a ''lol yea my son i loved my son'' bc she's a little sauced and hasnt had a breakdown over it in years #and at first thinks she's fine and doesnt feel bad when she mentions it #but then as she keeps going it starts really getting to her again #n she's like ''man im sorry about this'' bc why???? is she???? getting emotional???? she thought she was over it???? #and then suddenly hector has a very buzzed and definitely crying darryl on his hands and has no fucking idea how to handle it bc wtf???? #sure he's probably cried in front of her at that point. maybe they're even together by then. but he thought she was basically invincible #and now this??????? #uh oh

[reineyday]

some feelings abt touya and bnha 302 in general! (long post)

jesus this whooooole chapter makes me so so so sad for touya, like he's canonically a crier and i just have all these images now of him crying off to the side while enji looks at his other kids and gives them the time of day. knowing that he was/is a frustrated crier makes the fact that dabi cant cry cuz of his burned tear ducts that much sadder ohhman

one of the things i cant get over is how touya was SO shunned by his dad that when he went to go tell enji about his fire turning from red to blue, he says "i might be as awesome as shouto sooner or later!" like?? this boy is 13 and shouto is 5 yet he's talking like the brother that's eight years younger than him is better than him and thar it's just a fact. the sky is blue, enji wants to beat all might one day, and shouto is better than the rest of his siblings. nevermind that he's only five and just wants to play with his siblings (and dont even mention to me how shouto says he wants to play with "touya and them" cuz im gonna fucking cry abt it. like even though touya's accepted he's bottom of the ladder in this family, shouto clearly wants some sort of acknowledgement from his older siblings and especially his older brother. IM FVCKN SOBBN). enji has made it clear in this family that shouto was what he was looking for and everyone else is not as important, and i knew this from shouto's pov but it's kinda wild to see it implied so casually in touya's words.

"you'll be glad you created me! i just know it!" HOLY SHIT. god my heart. oh my fuck. literally all enji had to do was show up to the fucking mountain, and he couldnt even do that? what the hell?? your son asks you to go to the mountain, you tell your wife not to let him go traim but she said she couldnt stop him, and instead of going yourself to make sure he's okay and BECAUSE HE ASKED YOU TO COME (and with an actually valid reason, no less! fire changing colour is kind of a big fucking deal!!!) you just?? let him go and let him stay there??? my god the amount of times touya must have burned himself and the trees with tears in his eyes. ahhhHHH!!!

what kills me (and touya too soon?) was that we thought before the back story started that enji forced touya to train till he burned up. then when 290 came out--and definitely after 301--we thought maybe touya overtrained himself and burned up. and sure, he was definitely overtraining, but to find out that the burns that "killed" him started just bc he was crying so much he lost control and didnt know how to ease up on his flames? he was upset and literally trying to get himself to stop crying, and then he just set himself aflame and burned up cuz of all his emotions??? that HURTS. holy fuck.

i cant believe natsuo's feeling lowkey guilty for not socking enji in the face like he wasnt EIGHT???? and let's be real, enji woukdnt have fucking listened to natsuo telling him to talk to touya--he already wasnt listening when touya would straight up say "look at me" and when even rei said touya just wanted enji to look at him and notice him. listen, i know sometimes miscommunications happen in families and children are embarrassed to admit they want attention and so their parents remain unaware that theyre not giving their kid something they want, but touya was as clear as can be on MANY occasions, and even rei agreed touya needed the attention and enji just wasnt listening.

also i know there was discourse abt touya being sexist by telling natsu that "the women in this house are good for nothing" and mb it was partly diff translations cuz i feel like saying "this house" makes it specific to rei and yumi instead of all women everywhere, but even disregarding that--i think it's a valid thought for him to have when rei wasnt standing up for him (where he could see, at least) and yumi admitted herself that she was too scared to interfere and so just tried to fix things and keep appearances. i feel like based on what touya's seen from them, it makes sense that he has that opinion. (also gonna mention that i think rei's and yumi's choices also make sense and i think they were valid, seeing as how they were afraid as well.)

and poor natsu being woken up in the middle of the night (what was implied to be often enough, esp cuz it seemed they share a room and their futons are close) bc of touya's pain. that's a lot of emotional responsibility for an eight year old, and it is also so sad that at 13, touya didnt have anyone else to turn to but his kid brother. at 13, i remember being fully aware of the distinction in maturity between an 8 year old and myself, and it sucks that touya couldnt go to anyone but a younger child with all his pain. i bet yumi being too scared to interfere translated to touya as "she wouldnt help me" and thats another reason he didnt go to the 2nd oldest when he needed to vent. (also not related to this but how the FUCK was natsuo so tall at 8 years old? wh a t)

this chapter. this fucking chapter. my heart aches for touya, and it's just such a huge fucking shame he didnt get the attention and validation and support he needed. there must have been workarounds so that touya could safely use his quirk. there weere DEFINITELY better ways to support your son through a self-destructive quirk, ways that involved actually being there and seeing him. i feel like if someone showed him the attention he needed and talked him through how to better control his emotions (and by extension, his flames) and a positive and healthy way, he could have been someone so great. and if he ever learned how to set aside the way he felt infefior to shouto and saw that shouto just wanted to play with his cool older siblings, it might have been really beneficial to see that there was someone there who thinks he's cool and gave him attention just bc he was an older brother, who needed him when everyone else in the househild didnt seem to need him.

and lastly, the fact that the chapter ends with rei saying that shouto is the family hero and that shouto will have to face dabi?? and it makes me angry that shouto has to take on that responsibility. that he was five and suffering for things he wasnt even a part of, couldnt be properly aware of, bc he was so young. he just saw that he was separated from his siblings and that his dad bullied his mom, then grew up shouldering enji's heavy goals and high expectations and abusive training alongside the barely-there memories of his older brother who died (i say barely there bc if natsu didnt even know shouto liked cold soba, shouto was definitely not around enough to have solid memories of touya before he "died"), and now he has to do the emotional labour of fighting his villain brother (who i bet shouto lowkey empathizes with when he thinks abt it late at night) as well as suffer the physical consequences of that agni kai. and it makes me angry that he has to do that, bc he's a Good Guy and he probably feels he has some sort of filial and familial responsibility. he's only 16. he just wanted to play with touya and them, and now he has to deal with this horse shit dabi's causing cuz his dad's an emotionally neglecting asshat who couldnt see past his dumb fucking ego until he saw shouto play with a bunch of kids during shou's remedial exam a decade after his eldest son burned himself to death. what the fuckety fuck.

lastly, since we saw touya burn uo the way he did... did he really just like... burn so much his jaw fell off, and that's how they found the jawbone? cuz holy hot (BURNING too soon???) damn that must have been painful as all hell. i wonder if next chapter we get to see if someone found touya at the park and helped him out and sorted out the jaw bone thing, or if we finally get to see if deku wakes up lol.

anyways this chapter hurt my heart big time, and i kinda wanna draw kid touya crying while being overlooked by his family to let out some of those feelings but we'll see.

and i still stand by my idealistic and naively optimistic hope that dabi gets redeemed and they soend some actually time together as a family (without enji. or at least, with an enji that has apologized to touya in seiza. like, forehead-to-floor apologize.)

does this hope sort out how dabi redeems himself, seeing as how he's murdered people in cold blood and shouldnt be excused for that bc those actions are also inarguably terrible? no. not sure how he could redeem himself for that kinda stuff honestly, but it doesnt mean i dont still somehow want the todoroki sibs to get along, cuz im weak for mending families.

also id like to send a huge kudos out into the world to rei todoroki for being firm for once and for also not running away from her mistakes like her asshole husband has been. i really admire and respect that. she was afraid and being abused, but now that she's been away from enji and has had time to heal, now that her and shouto are in the mend and she's seen that her eldest son is alive and a villain, she's a place where she can acknowledge that even though she was a victim too, she played a part in touya's emotional neglect and she's taking responsibility and that speaks to some incredible fucking strength. damn.

i hope one day that dabi realizes the same in regards to his mother and natsuo, who shouldered a lot of his emotional pain and suffered the consequences of his outbursts (even though his emotions are valid and his outbursts understandable, he still hurt rei and put a lot of pressure on natsu), and i also hope he sees that for all that he hates his father, his whole existence revolves around enji and it's a shitty place to be (and then he'll have ANGST abt it and that shit will be!! so good!!!)

yeah i think those were all my feelings. i had so many lol. their family situation is so difficult, i hope they all turn out okay and alive and healing.

oh i guess i also wanted to say that i kept calling enji an asshat and asshole cuz he was for sure, but i still think his redemption is valid and im glad he's taking those steps to be a better person by being a better father. i dont know if id want his family to forgive him for all that horrible shit he put them through (im personally hoping that no matter what anyone else does, natsuo will choose to to cooperate in the healing of his family as a unit but will never forgive enji) but i think it's good of people to try to be better than they were yesterday regardless of whether or not they get forgiveness. i dont personally like enji, but i dont hate that he's getting a redemption. i just hope it's a redemption that makes sense and forces him to put in the work, and isnt something like a death sacrifice for shouto or dabi. i want him to be alive and i want his redemption process to hurt like a fucking bitch while he forces himself to make better choices and be a better person, cuz redemption isnt supposed to be easy in the slightest. i GUESS all the crying he did in 302 was a good start.

anyways, if for some reason you read all the way down to the bottom--hello! and thanks for reading haha. cheers! :)))

#rei rambles #bnha #bnha 302 #todorokis #todoroki touya

[yellowbluemoonshine]

Why Shigaraki Hates EVERYONE

looks like i need to explain this cause a lof of people did just blame shigaraki s father or all for one but you guys need to understand this:

the reason shigaraki is in so much pain is not cause of just “one person”, everybody have responsible for the person who shigaraki is now. and shigaraki also know that.

it doesnt matter that they meant it or not cause either way, they did hurt tenko.

his father abused him. but he didnt meant to hurt him this much. he was protecting him with his own way and of course its completely wrong but remember that he is not that different from kota. (i actually feel sorry for him cause i know heis no different from kota, there wasnt a hero for him either and he didnt even get a redemption chance like endeavour even though he was better than endeavour and people just blamed his father for everything. its so sad and unfair.)

his grandmother, grandfather and mother didnt stop koutaro. of course they love tenko and they wanted best for him maybe but still they were just standing there when tenko needed their help.

his sister, the closest person to tenko.

(look at fandom, everyone started to defending her like she is the only person who didnt want to hurt tenko but she wasnt the only one. his mother was holding hana, and grandfather and grandmother were old too.

and i also know how abuse works. she could just be quiet instead of saying that lie,even she was scared. And its not like she had no choice but what she did was selfish and wrong. not every child acted like that, just saying. Yeah it is understandable but like i said, it wasnt only choice. And it doesnt excusing it. not blaming her but its not like every child acted like that. A lot of people are excusing it thats why i said it. i know that every child dont do thar. (and i definitely think that tenko wouldnt do what she did.) but i think shigaraki doesnt blame hana s herself. i think he started to think like every child is like her thats why he started to hate children. this is why he said that “little kids”. shigaraki isnt choosing to blame his sister, his father or his mother or someone else, he is choosing the blame everybody, everything make them like that. shigaraki is choosing the blame fate s itself.)

she loved his brother and she cheered his brother but still, she chose herself to not getting hurt. she didnt mean it. she didnt want his brother s getting hurt either but it doesnt matter cause her lie did hurt tenko.

and its not just his family. all people around tenko. i think, a lot of people did hurt tenko or just watched his getting hurt. they did nothing but hurt him. most of them didnt mean it but it doesnt matter.

nana. all she wanted to protect her son and the world but she did hurt his son anyway. she didnt mean it but she did hurt him.

allmight wanted to be people s hope and he tried to carry all burden by himself. this is why people became so ignorance. maybe if allmight worked with endeavour, todoroki family wouldnt be like that.

and do i even need to talk about people s ignorance in hero society? they did hurt tenko too.

and i dont even need to talk about all for one s manipulation, abuse and dehumanization project. 

dont get me wrong. its not like i am blaming them but you guys need to understand that everyone have a role that making tenko like that, even most of them didnt mean it. but they all makes tenko feel like ABANDONED.

if it was just one or two people, tenko definitely would forgive them without thinking. but in tenko s life, there was nothing else to hold on. there is nothing good in his life, especially after that tragedy. there was only hatred, anger, he felt unfair which is completely normal. he cant just blame one person cause he also knows that it wasnt just one person. it was everyone around him. not just his family, not just his friends. its even random people he doesnt even know. people around him is the “everyone” that shigaraki talking about.

shigaraki never met someone like him, someone like izuku. there wasnt a hero who saved him or who ever tried to save him.

shigaraki doesnt know who to blame. he cant just blame one person cause ‘everyone’ (people around him) did hurt him. this is why he says “everything rubs me the wrong way”. he is trying find a way that he can be a hero, he can be good. he wanted to forgive them too. but EVERYTHING is on his way. his quirk, his family, his friends, people he doesnt even know (even though most of them didnt mean it) so simply world, FATE is against to shigaraki. this is why he hates everything and cause of fate, he started to believe that his only existence is for destruction. shigaraki is fighting his world,fate that makes him feel like this in his mind, i think.

shigaraki isnt a monster created by All For One or his father or his family. he is a monster created by EVERYONE (today s society). like i said, most of them didnt mean it but it doesnt matter cause they all DID HURT tenko and make him feel abandoned. and shigaraki didnt choose to blame just one person for example hana or his mother or his father cause he loved them. thats why he hate everything that makes them like that. he hate everything that makes him feel like this.

i really love this character and i can relate the way of his thinking so much cause i would do the same thing. he really tried his best but he couldnt, HE HAD NO CHOICE. its a really kind way to hate everyone, actually cause just blaming one person would be unfair. i explained this cause a lot of people just blaming afo

(you can keep blaming afo cause this one meant it but unfortunately, it wasnt just him)

or they are just blaming his father (he didnt mean it) and ignoring the other people who did hurt him (they meant it or not) and also some people said “it doesnt make sense that he hates everyone” but it actually completely does cause everyone have responsible for this. (even they meant or not). thats why i explained it. hopefully, you got me :’))). sorry for bad eng.

#tenko #shigaraki #bnha 235 #mha 235 #shimura