#and i want to always be near the people i love

[imaginaryf1shots]

His Sister | Lewis Hamilton

WC: 4.6K

Lewis Hamilton X Verstappen!Reader

Max Verstappen X reader!Sister

Summery: You have always been there for your brother, giving up everything for him, so when you decide to date his rival, what will he do.

Warnings: age gap(age not specified) mention of abuse, Jos Verstappen is an a-hole, Max is also an ass, bad childhood, bad father, cursing, alusion to smut but no actual smut

AN: this had me in tears at some parts, I was going, why did he do this 😭 as if I didn't write it, lol

Hope you all enjoy

Masterlist

Growing up, Verstappen wasn’t easy. Growing up with Jos Verstappen as your guardian and the one that has custody is hard. Being the oldest, Verstappen is damn near impossible. Could you have chosen to live with your mother? Yes, but that would’ve left Max alone with Jos, something you weren’t about to do. Admittedly you were young yourself, but even at a young age you knew that if Max was left with Jos alone it wouldn’t turn out good for your brother, you’ve always been motherly and have so much love in you that you just shared it with those around you and your siblings got the most of it. It made perfect sense to you as a young girl to leave your life with your mother and sister and go with your brother and father.

At one point you were the one Karting, you loved cars and karting since you were young, with both parents into motorsport it was hard not to, and even Jos couldn’t deny how good you were, but alas you’re a female and there’s no way you’d make it all the way to F1, something that Jos loves to remind you of. That’s the reason he stopped you from going once Max started winning in karting, and he wanted to focus on his child, who would achieve all his personal dreams and make it into F1. Maybe it’s your love for the sport that made it easier but you enjoyed every time you went to a track and watched the karts race, you dreaded after the races though, to Jos anything but first is a failure. On days like that, you’d follow your father and stand in his way, he’d shout at you and push you around, and you’d take it all in all in the hope that by the time he reached Max he wouldn’t be angry, or at least you’d take the blunt end of his anger. That didn’t always happen and on those days you’d just stay with your brother holding his hand, walking with him home in the cold, in the rain and in the heat of the sun, never letting him go through a punishment alone and never letting him go through your punishments.

It was all in the hope that Max would reach F1 one day, and he did, he’s in Formula 1 now, he’s been there since he was 17, he skipped so many steps and jumped into Formula 1, he went from Toro Rosso to RedBull in a record time and he was racing with legends and world champions before you had time to comprehend it. All whilst you watched him from the garage, as a family member and a part of his team, never missing a race. Driving him around when he didn’t have his driver’s licence, hugging him after each win and DNF, picking up the pieces after a scolding from Jos and tearing up when he got his first win. Always smiling and happy for him no matter what.

You’d think now that you’re all older, the talk from your father wouldn’t affect you, that you’d get used to his words, and they won’t affect you. But he’s your dad. It never gets easy.

So here you are standing at the back of the garage you’re both watching the screen, when the camera cuts to you, you smile a bit before it cuts off back to the race, with one pull you’re away from prying eyes of people in the garage. Only the few people at the back could see you.

“What?” You ask your dad with a frown. His grip on your bicep is like iron. You hold in a wince and look him in the eye.

”What was that?” He whisper shouted, you looked at him confused. “Don’t give me that stupid look. How many times have I told you, I don’t like that look.”

”I’m just confused, I don’t know what you mean.” You explain yourself and try to act normal, all while knowing it’s about to get worse, he’s in a mood, Max’s race hasn’t been going like he’d like, he’s currently in second with Checo in first, something bad in your dad’s books.

”Don’t play stupid, I know what you’re playing at.” Jos squeezes more, and you’re bound to have a bruise by tomorrow morning.

“I’m literally doing nothing.” You move trying to pull your arm out of his grip, and he lets go of you but leans down in your face.

”I saw that look you gave the camera, don’t ruin your brother’s image.” You close your eyes and bite your lip, and it takes you a few seconds before you neutralise your expression into blankness. “Don’t look like a slut, it could affect the sponsors.”

”But I wasn’t.” You mutter, but he just scoffs.

”Don’t. Play. Games. With. Me.” With each word through his fretted teeth, he poked/pushed you with his finger at your shoulder, having you move back every time.

”I’m not.” You insist. Thankfully, before he can reply, someone clears their throat, making you both look to the side to see Hemlut standing there. He doesn’t look amused.

”Keep your family affairs out of the garage, please.” Was all he said before he turned to look at the screen. It takes everything in you not to roll your eyes, giving your dad one last look you turn and go watch the race from a different spot in the garage as far away from him as you could get.

Max ended up winning the race, with Lewis second and Charles third. So all was good in the end, your brother won the race, your dad was back in his happy mode, and your day was ruined. You rushed with the crowd to congratulate Max on his win. Your brother comes to you for a hug. You kiss his cheek as you always do and pat his back.

”Congratulations Maxie.”

”Thanks.” He gives you a big smile before he’s rushed to get weighed, you look at Ferrari as they congratulate Charles, the sea of red eye catching, looking around you don’t see any Mercedes dressed personal in the vicinity. Your eyes then fell to the 7 times world champion, he’s sitting on the floor looking tired, his eyes swept over the teams looking for his own. You feel bad for him. His family must not be here today, and his team didn’t bother to show up for him.

Later that day, you found yourself pulled to a club to celebrate another Max win, you’re usually up for the celebration, but after what happened at the garage, you weren’t feeling up to it. However, you can never say no to Max when he asks you to do something all nice and loving, so that’s how you ended up here. In a random club, with a lot of Formula 1 workers from all teams and FIA, they’re all having the times of their lives as if they’re not rivals and hate each other, every other day of the week. You’ve sat down the moment you walked in and haven’t moved, drinks coming to you, but you’ve only been sipping light ones, not wanting to get drunk and deal with a headache in the morning.

An hour in, you head to the bar to order water or a soda, not in the mood to drink more. With a sigh, you lean on the bar and wait for the bartender to make his way to you, looking bored out of your life.

”You don’t look like you’re having fun.” Someone says, coming up to stand beside you, the accent familiar, but you couldn't pinpoint why before you turn and your eyes fall on a pair of brown eyes.

”Not really.” You say and shrug, turning so you’re both facing each other. “I mean you’re the first person to come up to talk to me in the last hour or something.”

”I don’t believe that, a beautiful woman like you.” Lewis gives you a small smile, and you chuckle, playfully rolling your eyes.

“I know, right, and here I dressed up, only for it not to work.” You say a tone of amusement lanced into your words, liking this banter going back and forth.

”I wouldn’t say it’s not working.” Lewis says and looks you up and down, you blush under his gaze but the smile doesn’t drop from your lips, the bartender comes up to you right then and asks you for your order, you ask for a glass of water and a soda, before he turns to Lewis who doesn’t ask for a drink. “You’re not drinking?”

”I had a couple of drinks, but I don’t feel like getting drunk.” You tell him, and he hums, you lean closer as if you’re going to say a secret. “Between you and me, I didn’t want to be here anyways.”

”Me neither, why are you here?” Lewis asks, you look around the club, and your eyes fall onto your brother having the time of his life with his friends.

”Because my brother wanted me to come.” You say not looking away from Max, who was smiling and enjoying himself, it brings a smile to your face seeing him carefree. Your favourite type of Max.

”You’re Max’s sister.” At Lewis’ words, you realise he didn’t know who you were, your head snaps to look at him and give him the smallest of smiles, a defeated look hiding behind your eyes. As if you’re expecting the worst.

”Yeah, is that a problem?” You ask him already knowing what he’ll say. Your brother is his biggest rival. There’s history between them, and it’s not all rainbows and sunshine. Just because they have respect for each other doesn’t mean they love the other.

”No, you’re not Max.” This did surprise you, and it showed on your face, Lewis winked, and you shook your head. “Do you want to head out of here?”

”Sure.” With that, you and Lewis turn and head out. Everyone’s too drunk or too occupied to see your retreating figures.

Let’s just say that you enjoyed your night, Lewis isn’t just good at racing. He did convince you to stay the night after everything was said and done, with his eyes half lidded and you both breathing hard it was the easiest yes you’ve ever said.

You woke up alone with the shower going in the background, feeling lazy. You sat up in bed and looked out the window. The view from his room was beautiful. You’re so lost in thought you don’t realise when the water stopped running or when Lewis came in the room. He stood there looking at you, your back bare for him to see, your hair messy, the sun coming from the windows making you glow. Lewis, dressed in only his boxers, moves to the bed and slots himself behind you, his bare chest meeting your back as his arms sneak around your waist, pulling you back. You lean into his chest and take a deep breath, content with the moment. Lewis’ lips find their home where your neck meets your shoulder, placing soft feather-like kisses up and down the exposed skin, you move your head to the side giving him more room to do as he wants.

”Lewis.” You moan suddenly breathless, Lewis moves his hands up your arms lightly before you wince in pain, making him stop all movements and pull away from you. You freeze and close your eyes instantly, knowing why you were in pain.

”What’s wrong? Did I hurt you?” Lewis asks, feeling guilt for causing you pain. You shake your head no and sigh, still not looking at him.

”No, no, it’s not you.” Lewis looks at where his hands were and he sees the bruise on your bicep, his mind goes to last night and he thinks over his actions, did he hold your bicep, maybe squeezed a bit too hard. It definitely looks like hand marks. You stand up still naked and snatch Lewis’s shirt from the night before from the floor where you threw it and slip it on. The oversized shirt falls mid thigh, and the short sleeves come down to your elbows covering your bruise.

”Who the fuck did this to you?” Lewis follows you off the bed, you turn to look at him crossing your arms protectively, suddenly feeling self conscious, you refuse to meet his eyes and clear your throat but no words came out of your mouth. “y/n, just tell me what happened?”

”It’s nothing. He didn’t mean to.” You mutter and shake your head, your hair falling into your face.

“Who? Who did it?” Lewis pleaded with you and you closed your eyes and bit your lip to stop the tears, it wasn’t a secret how rough your father is especially in the RedBull garage but no one outside a few observant people(which don’t include Max) know how rough he is with you.

”My dad, but he was just angry. He’s not like that, not anymore.” You mumble the last part, but Lewis heard it loud and clear, and just like yesterday, he surprises you. Lewis pulls you in for a hug, his tattooed arms just pulling you close, and he holds you. He just holds you.

”Bloody hell, love, I’m sorry.” Lewis says in your hair, and you raise your head to look at him, but still staying in his hold.

”You have absolutely no reason to be sorry.” You tell him and your hands move up to his face, lightly touching his cheek, your eyes taking him in. “I don’t really care.”

“It still doesn’t make it right. You shouldn’t go through something like this.” Lewis says, and you shrug.

”Life isn’t really fair.” He felt that there’s more behind those words. You didn’t just mean what happened the day before. There’s more pain in your voice, in your past, and to him, it looked like no one took the time to talk to you about them to help you through those pains. Lewis finds himself wondering why, he’s known you for less than 24 hours and all he wants to do is get to know you, uncover all your secrets, help you where you need help, support you where you need support.

”Well, if you let me, I think I can make it a little more fair.” Lewis says, deciding that this isn’t the last time he’ll spend time with you. He pulls back and goes to his bedside table where his phone rests.

”What are you talking about?” You ask him confused.

”Give me your number, I’m taking you out next time we’re both free.” Lewis says and hands you his phone. You slowly take it and look up at him with wide eyes.

”You want to go out with me? like on a date?” You wanted to make sure you understood him correctly.

”I do.”

“Even though you know I come with baggage.” You want to make sure he understands it won’t be easy.

”I don’t think it’s baggage, but even if it was, I don’t care.” Lewis gives you one of his smiles that make you weak in your knees, and you don’t think twice and type in your number. Lewis instantly calls you, and your phone rings before he ends the call. “Now you also have my number, and if you ever need something, or someone or a place to just call me.”

”Thank you.”

”I haven’t done anything yet, love.”

”Oh you’ve already done a lot.” Most people would act as if nothing happened and they saw nothing, most wouldn’t want to go out with you knowing there’s a lot in your past that needs solving, most wouldn’t go out with their rival’s sister, but most aren’t Lewis Hamilton, and you’re glad he’s not like the most.

You and Lewis start texting, getting to know each other. You see a side to the Mercedes driver you’ve never seen before. He’s so easy to talk to. You feel like whatever you tell him is a secret he’ll take to the grave. In the couple weeks since you’ve started talking you’ve been more open with him than anyone else, not just about your past and growing up with Jos but about your feelings. He never judges and gives the best advice. He’s been supportive and understanding to a point you’ve asked yourself how he is real.

You asked him to keep your budding friendship (turing relationship) a secret and he agreed 100% with you, it’ll cause a lot of trouble when and if it comes out, and you’re not ready for that. And for the first time in forever you don’t spend your free time between races where Max is, you fly to wherever Lewis is, and so for a month you both find that time to get to know the other in a way that you’ve never done before, and you find yourself being Lewis’s girlfriend and it makes you the happiest thinking about it. He’s made you happier, and those closest to you have noticed you’re more smiley and happy those days.

Sneaking around like children, not two adults was part of the fun, but it also made it harder for you.

”What are you smiling at?” Kelly asks, leaning closer to you. You close your phone in an instant to the amusement of your brother’s girlfriend. Max was in a meeting or doing something for media, so you and Kelly were having lunch in the paddock.

“Nothing.” You say, and your face flushes red, making her laugh.

”Come on, I can tell you’re texting someone.” Kelly laughs and nudges you. You roll your eyes and take a sip from your drink. “Who is he?”

”Nonone.”

”So there’s someone.” Kelly raises her eyebrows, and you sigh and nod your head. Yes, Kelly squeals and looks like she’s ready for a gossip session.

“Kelly, you’re not getting more out of me.” You tell the female, and she pouts.

”Why? Even Max is wondering who you’re texting all the time.” Kelly is confused, and rightfully so, you’re very open with her and Max. Not the type to keep something like this a secret. Or so they thought, but how can they be 100% sure when you haven’t been with anyone for years or even shown interest in anyone.

”That’s why I can’t tell you.”

”What? you can trust me, I won’t tell him if you don't want to.” Kelly felt offended that you didn’t trust her to keep a secret. She’s close to you. Anyone close to Max is close to you. His friends are your friends.

”I wouldn't do that to you, if he found out you knew and didn’t tell him he’ll get mad.” You explain to her, wanting her to understand where you’re coming from.

”No he wouldn't.” Kelly replies, and you give her a look making her sigh, Max is protective, and no one is good enough for you in his eyes. “Okay maybe he will be, but who could you be dating for you to be so sure he’ll get mad, anyways.”

“I love you, Kells, but I can’t tell you.” You both sat in silence for a bit, Kelly was thinking of any possible men you might’ve come across the last month, she started crossing some out of the list she made in her mind that you wouldn’t like, before her eyes went wide.

”It’s a driver!” She shouts, and a few eyes snapped to look at you both. You choke on your drink and cough a few times. “Sorry.”

”What the fuck Kelly, you want to tell the whole world?” You whisper shout and she looks apologetically muttering sorry.

”It’s a driver then.” She whispered and you reluctantly nod, who knew this lunch would cause you so much. “I’m not going to push you for more… yet.”

”Well thank god for that.” You mutter, but know that she’ll look and analyse every single interaction you have with any driver. Kelly went over the 19 drivers, crossing out those in a relationship. Nico, Kevin, Valtteri, Daniel, Checo, Carlos, Pierre, Alex, Esteban, Charles, Oscar, and George are all in a relationship. That narrows it down, but it’s still a bit, but a few are still single. Fernando, Lewis, Lance, Zhou, Lando, Yuki and Logan that left her with 7 drivers that are single, and you’re at the age that dating someone older would raise a few eyebrows and so would dating some of the younger drivers, but it wouldn’t be totally out of the box. Lance is the one closest to you in age, but she doesn’t think he’s your type.

After the Austin Grand Prix, Lewis makes it to your room, and a few teams booked their rooms at the same hotel, something that you’ve come to appreciate. Your room isn’t as big as Lewis’s but it just happened that he made it to your room, the brit, and you decided to chill and have a lazy night. The TV was on, but you both weren’t focused on it, each having a glass of Almave in hand, the non alcoholic drink your new favourite and it looked like you’d never run out of it.

You just finished telling Lewis about something that happened when you were younger and still karting, telling him about all the drama that happened then and how silly it is. His arm was on the back of the sofa beides your head, your legs over his lap, and his other hand was on your thigh rubbing softly at the skin visible from your bunched up shorts.

”Why did you stop karting?” Lewis asked, your smile from laughing wasn’t all gone yet, but it did falter a bit. You suck in your lips and run your tongue over them.

”My dad said that there’s no place for women in motorsport and that Max will carry the family name in Formula 1.” You shrug, your head dropping a little. The hand besides your head moves to your face making you raise your head and look at him, Lewis felt bad for you but he tried not to be obvious about it, he knew you wouldn't want him to.

“I know for a fact then if you continued, you’d be kicking all out asses on track.” Lewis said softly, and you gave him a tight-lipped smile.

”You haven’t even seen me karting.” You tell him softly and find that your breath hits his face from how close you’ve gotten.

”Next time we meet up, we’ll do that.” Lewis said and gave your thigh a squeeze. You hum and lean closer, your lips meeting his. His lips were warm and soft, his hand moving from your cheek to the back of your head. And as always, his lips made a spark ignite inside you and left you warm and fuzzy. Soft sighs left your lips as your lips moved, Lewis’s hand moved up your thigh and over your butt, tugging you so you’d move with him until you’re standing him. You pull back just a little, your breath mingling with his, his eyes looking at you and making you fall in love with him.

”Lewis.” Just the way you said his name left him breathless and needy, he pulled you down for your lips to meet again.

You’re both disturbed when Lewis’s phone rings, you move from on top of him and he reaches over to get his phone, seeing the caller ID he gives you an apologetic look and answers the phone. You sigh sadly, feeling a bit irritated to be interrupted, but Lewis is a busy man, and she understands this.

“I’m sorry, love, but I have to go.” Lewis leans over to kiss your head before hastily gathering his things. “It’s an emergency meeting, I’ll text you when I’m done and come back.”

”Okay, I’ll wait for you.” You say and lay back on the sofa taking out your phone to scroll through the TV is still going. Around half an hour later, your door is opened, making you raise your head and frown when you see Max walking in.

”How did you get in?”

”I have a card.” Max shows you the door card that had your room number on it.

”Why?” You ask him confused. He also relieved that he hadn’t come in when Lewis was still here.

”You’ve been losing yours a lot lately, so I thought to just ask for one.” Max shrugged as if it’s normal, he sat down in the chair by your legs so you could look at him, you rolled your eyes at his words, not needing to ask how the front desk gave it to him. You haven’t been losing your cards. You’ve been asking for an extra one to give to Lewis.

“What’s that?” Max asks, and you don’t bother looking up from your phone.

”What’s what?”

“That.” You sigh and sit up, looking to where your brother is pointing, your heart drops. Lewis forgot his watch, and it’s laying there on the side table that had a lamp on it, and it’s so very obvious not yours. The IWC Big Pilot’s Watch Perpetual Calendar ‘Lewis Hamilton’ Edition IW503002 is a beauty, but no way can it be yours. You curse Lewis in your mind for taking it off when he first came in. You open your mouth and close it a couple of times, trying to find words to say but coming up empty. “I’ve seen this before.”

”I don’t think so.” You say nervously, chuckling. Max frowns in thought as he tries to remember where he had seen the watch before.

”No I’ve seen it, I remember the red.” Max mumbles, and the moment he remembers you can tell, his face says it all. “L-Lewis? That’s who you’ve been seeing behind my back.”

”Max-“

”No you had your chance to tell me, but you didn’t.” Max stands up, and you follow suit. His voice is angry and irritated, a bit of betrayal in there as well. “How could you date Lewis and not tell me how could you even date him, I can’t believe you’d do something like this!”

”I didn’t tell you because I knew you’d get angry, and I didn’t want you to be angry.” You try to explain to him your reason, but he’s having none of that.

”Because I’m calm now.” Max says sarcastically.

”Max, this is why I didn’t tell you.” Your hands move in frustration, one of your legs shake in anxiety, and you whisper. “I knew you wouldn’t understand.”

”What is there to understand? You’re sleeping with my rival.” Max shouts, it breaks you. Max may have this image as the villain in public but he’s not like that with you, he’s always been nice and loving, you’re the best thing about his childhood, the warm hug he had, the person he relayed on, the person that could always make him smile. Seeing the look in his eyes makes tears gather in yours. “y/n, I can’t believe you. After everything you’re just, what? Selling yourself to Lewis-“

”Max.”

”-Do you have any idea-“

”Max.”

”-how this can affect my image-“

”Max, please.”

”-I thought I could count on you not to do something like this-“

”I didn’t.”

”-Dad was right.”

”Wh-what?” This just breaks you in two, completely shatters you.

”He said that you’re an attention who-“

”Okay enough.” You say and raise your hands in the air to stop him, tears leaving your eyes freely. “Please leave, I can’t hear you anymore, I can’t.”

Max fights the need to say sorry and hug you. He’s too in his emotions, and he’s too stubborn and hardheaded to say anything.

”Just leave, please.” Max turns and leaves your room. The quality time he wanted to spend with you is ruined. The moment the door closes, he feels like his relationship with you is forever changed. It cracked, and he curses himself for being so careless with his words.

NEXT

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[bisexualiteaa]

fem reader x ghoul where he’s talking about how small she is?

Fun Size

Cooper Howard x Smaller Fem Reader (SMUT!!)

CW: NSFW MDNI!! Size kink, p in v, unprotected sex, p0rn w/o plot, mentions of breeding kink, mentions of pregnancy, cursing, body worship, establish relationship.

AN: Hey anon! I couldn’t figure out any other way to write this than as a smut so I hope that’s alright! I hope I could do your ask justice and that you and all my other lovely readers will enjoy!

Synopsis: Cooper loved that you were smaller than him, whether it was height, stature, weight it didn’t matter, he loved it about you. He wanted to make sure you knew just how much he loves his fun size. ❤️

This one is slightly shorter than my other works but I hope it is just as enjoyable! I’m actually a smaller framed person so writing this comes from a slightly personal place, I hope it can still be enjoyable to those of all body types. Our cowboy doesn’t discriminate and neither do I, know that you are all loved! ❤️

When he called you his lil’ lady, he called you it for a lot of different reasons. One; he was southern at heart, so a few terms of endearment were standard practice for him. Two; was because you were little compared to him, and he absolutely adored that. When he stood near you, he nearly towered over you, and his stature was quite broad compared to you. He could lift more than you, drink more than you, but what you lacked in size, you more than made up for in attitude. He had never seen someone have so much fight and so much poison in their sweet voice. He knew it’s what you had to do, in a dog eat dog world like this, you really had no other options. As much as you may have held a dislike for your smaller stature, he always wanted to assure you that he enjoyed it, and it was in these more intimate moments like this one that he really enjoyed that size difference.

His larger hand came over yours as he took you from behind, his fingers intertwined with yours as he leaned his head into the crook of your neck. He placed kisses against the sensitive spots along your skin, enjoying the moans leaving your lips as his hips slapped against your ass. “Cooper…” you moaned sweetly, your head raising a little as your mouth fell open, his cock brushing your g-spot with each drag outwards and nudged the apex of your cervix with each thrust inwards. “Love this cute lil’ waist of yours” he said, his free hand traveling along your frame, grabbing at anything he could get his hands on. “These hands, look damn good holdin’ a gun in ‘em” he added, worshipping your body as it trembled beneath him, your whimpers and moans sounding like music to his ruined ears. “Everythin’ about you is perfect, darlin’” he finished, and you’d never felt so loved. You never really put much thought into your size before, knowing you were small put you at a slight disadvantage out in the wastelands because most people would take one look and consider you weak, but Cooper knew that was far from the truth. You were one hell of a woman, with firepower and attitude to put someone even taller than him to shame. You were stronger than most ever gave you credit for, and that was almost like a secret power for you. “In another life, I’d have put a baby in this lil’ tummy of yours. Watch you walk around all swollen where you gotta waddle” he said, groaning at the thought of having a child with you, he so dearly missed his baby girl from his past marriage but that was a thought for another time. He felt your walls squeeze around him at the thought, making him chuckle. “Ya like that thought, dontchya, sugar? Felt that pretty pussy tighten around me, you like the thought of me breedin’ you, sweetheart?” He asked with a perverted grin, making you whimper as your face and body fell hot. You’d be a liar if you said the dream hadn’t crossed your mind before but it was one you knew was impossible to think about, especially with how the world was now. You felt his fingers run down to rub tight circles against your clit, making your back arch and your head roll back against his shoulder. “That’s it, arch that back. Cum for me sweetheart, I gotchya” he coaxed, and it wasn’t long before you fell over the edge, the cry of his name leaving your lips like a prayer.

You gasped for air as you panted beneath him, your smaller frame trembling beneath him once more as the feeling rushed over you in pleasurable waves. You whined, feeling him quickly pull out and finish over your back, needing to conserve your resources of RadAway for just a little bit longer before using it again. As you collapsed on the bed, waiting for him to return with a damp rag to clean you, you had a great idea on how to really play with his liking of the size difference. You smirked to yourself as you watched him dispose of the rag after cleaning you up then himself, sneaking his shirt from off the floor and putting it over your tiny frame. His shirt pooled over you like a night dress, all baggy around the middle, sleeves coming over your hands as they almost seemed to disappear beneath the pool of fabric. The bottom of the shirt came to rest just around your mid-thighs, it was perfect. He looked up, giving a mix between a chuckle and a groan at the sight, feeling his dick twitch in his briefs as you stood before him in nothing more than his beaten up, bloodstained shirt. “Careful sugar, don’t start somethin’ you ain’t able to finish” he warned, seeing the mischievous glint in your eyes and grin stretched to your lips. “Not sure I catch your meanin’ there, honey” you replied teasingly as he scooped you up with ease, soon plopping you back down on the bed with him as he all but pounced on you, making you yelp playfully before giggling as he buried his face into your neck. “Ya look damn good in my clothes” he said, making you smile. “It’s a sight you can have every day if ya’d like t’ keep me ‘round” you responded, knowing exactly what his answer would be to that. “Think I’d ever get rid a you? You’re all mine, fun size” he said, making you giggle at the bad pun-based nickname he called you. “Wouldn’t want it any other way” you replied, wrapping your arms around him and kissing his bald head before falling peacefully asleep.

#fallout x reader #fallout smut #fallout #cooper howard smut #cooper howard x reader #cooper howard #the ghoul smut #the ghoul x reader #the ghoul

[stxrvel]

the routine (4)

heeeey guys. this is a short one but i wanted to share something with you, since it's been a while! it's getting harder to write, but i found some peace of mind today so i wanted to give you this. hope u like this! love u all and hopefully see u next time. i promise it's gonna get better, just give me some time :(.

summary: trying to settle into life after what happened has proven to be just as difficult for both you and Azriel… pairing: azriel x fem!reader words: 1.5k warnings: still just angst.

part 1: the cliff

part 2: the house

part 3: the court

There was something bittersweet hanging around your house since that argument with your parents. It had been a week since you had returned and, sadly, things didn't feel as good as they used to. You didn't expect you all to be exactly the same either, you and your parents had been through specific times that wouldn't allow them to ever be the same again, especially when they were so reluctant for you to return to the Night Court. Even you didn't know if you would be completely ready to do so in the near future.

One good thing was that, during those days, you had learned to manage your emotions to keep them from running strongly through the bond you shared with Azriel so as not to overwhelm him. Perhaps it was the only thing that had distracted you during that time from rethinking what had happened, even more than your parents' attempts at conversation.

There was also the matter of the shadows. You knew they were Azriel's, you thought they belonged to him, but some of them were constantly accompanying you, and they got scares out of your father from time to time.

Going back to your parents was supposed to bring you peace, but you felt calmer every time you looked at the tattoo running down your arm and the promise Azriel had made to you with crystallized eyes.

“I hear your thoughts all the way over here, you know?”

You lifted your head, blinking faster. The wind caressed your cheeks and moved your loose hair, for a moment forgetting where you were. Shadows gathered around your feet.

“I'm sorry, did you say something?”

Alya had a posture with her arms up, sending you a curious look. Your childhood friend barely needed to hear the tones in your voice to know when you were lying, but she seemed to want to let it go that time. The people around you didn't seem to know how to deal with the conversations when word got out that you were back, but Alya had a talent for knowing when to touch on topics and when not to.

“Several things,” her body moved toward the fruit baskets, taking the last basket in her arms and starting to walk in the opposite direction. “My brother got married.”

“Really?”

“And he has children.”

“Really?”

“Twins.”

You let out a laugh, remembering Alya's rebellious older brother. Your visits to her house were always accompanied by the constant whining and fighting between Trav and his parents because he didn't want to start a family in the near or distant future. He was so insistent about it, even though it was the only thing his parents wanted. According to Alya's accounts, it was impossible for him not to start imagining that future when he met his mate.

“What about you?”

“Ah, no, please, no. There is nothing interesting to tell about my life. I assure you that Mrs. Taylors had a more exciting life for the past few years than I have,” Alya and you arrived at her mother's fruit stand, where she dropped the last basket of goods you had helped her move all morning. You marched beside her, detailing the look of nonchalance she was trying so hard to maintain.

“It couldn't have just not happened. It was… too many years,” despite the boastfulness with which you wanted to carry the conversation, your voice reached to cut off finishing the sentence. Alya turned to look at you, her worried eyes analyzing your face before grabbing your wrist and walking away from the fruit stand.

“You know you don't have to pretend around me, right?”

Alya closed the door to her house behind her. Her family had gotten a very homey house right in the heart of the city's commerce and they kept their very well kept stall right in front of it. Every corner of the place felt like a home because of the great dedication and love her whole family put into it. Even when her brother was missing, it seemed that the house had not lost any strength or presence.

Maybe that's why you felt a wave of longing and nostalgia hit your body, leaving you more vulnerable than you had been the last few days.

“Living with my parents hasn't been so great,” you began, lowering your gaze with a frown. Alya had moved into the kitchen and you had happily settled down on the counter right in front of the stove. Your hands in front of you on the white ceramic were moving nervously, interlocking and clattering your nails on the hard material. “After so long I thought that… I thought that nothing would change when I came back. I thought we'd be even closer together than before, I even thought we'd sleep together. I spent so many nights… alone and so cold. I couldn't bear the thought of going back and having to go through that kind of torturous loneliness again.”

Alya moved in front of you, setting aside the tea brewing to clasp her hands in yours, still twitching in nervousness and anxiety. Her expression was no longer one of dread as she noticed shadows moving around you.

“Is it because of him?”

You nodded, and acknowledging it once again was no less painful.

“It's illogical, I think,” Alya rested her arms on the ceramic, frowning slightly. The warmth of her hands, even though it wasn't a bit chilly in her house, brought you just enough coziness to try to soothe your heart. It reminded you of that moment at the border of Court Day next to Azriel. “After so long without seeing you, why not take advantage of the indefinite time you'll be with them? They stress too much about something that could happen in two decades, even.”

“I've tried to tell them, but I don't think they'll be happy until I tell them I'm not coming back.”

“What about him?” Alya cocked her head to one side, and at your confused look added, “He wouldn't be willing to come?”

“What? No. I couldn't even suggest it to him,” you shook your head as soon as the words left her mouth.

“Why not?”

“His whole life is in that court, Alya. Asking him to give it all up for me just because I wouldn't be willing to do it for him, wouldn't that be too selfish?”

“You must keep in mind that you've been through special circumstances. If he really feels a quarter of the bond love, then he won't mind giving up everything for you.”

“I don't want to talk about this anymore. The tea is going to dry up.”

Alya shifted letting out a gasp of surprise.

“Fine. But you have to keep in mind that it's not just about you now. You're not alone anymore. You don't have to make decisions for him or stop making them because it's not just your feelings you have to be careful with.”

-

Azriel still didn't understand how Mor had convinced Tarquin and Rhysand to meet for that reunion on the day you finally returned home, but he was immensely grateful that she had been able to negotiate the terms down to the last instance. The same thing he would've done.

“Are you ever going to see him again?”

“Not as long as I live.”

The aforesaid appeared at the training camp when Azriel was taking some time away from the crowd of people living in the Town House. He would never have believed that he would rather strain his body until he passed out just so he wouldn't have to meet Rhysand's or Cassian's face at every corner. The blood in his veins burned as if it had poison in it, one step away from starting to spit in their directions as if they were the only ones to blame for everything that had happened.

As if he needed to find a culprit for your departure.

But there was no one to blame. It had been your decision. And every day since then Azriel's sentence became significantly larger and more tedious to carry. The worst part was not even knowing when that ordeal would end. Living with that bitterness in his heart and that emptiness in his soul, he didn't believe there could ever be peace in his relationship with his brothers. No one in the house overlooked that.

"She's fine," Mor changed the subject abruptly, knowing exactly how to appease the flame of his anger.

Azriel nearly melted with his forehead against the punching bag. His shoulders slumped in momentary relaxation, the only relaxation he'd allowed himself to have since you'd left.

“You saw her?”

“Yes, she was spending time with her friends. She was smiling. Laughing. She looked happy.”

Azriel had to fight the whine that wanted to escape his lips. He shook his head in assent, trying to keep the emotions at bay, sending a silent thank you through the masses of air. He felt his heart squeezed inside his chest. Every day was a constant uncertainty because he couldn't even feel her anymore…

Mor had to travel weekly to Summer because one of the terms of their agreement with Tarquin required it and for the last three weeks all Azriel had been waiting for was news about you, to know that you were well, that you looked well, that you were really happy there, at home… away from him.

“You know that doesn't imply that she wants to forget you, right?”

The mere implication made his head fall back on the sack. Azriel tried to nod, feeling the words and his own emotions choking him. His body would become an inert object at some point, that much he knew, because he couldn't spend too long living like this. He couldn't even imagine it, if he was just beginning the period that could last for years, even centuries for all he knew.

“I know…” his voice came out choked, almost mistaken for a sigh. “I know.”

He repeated again to himself.

Azriel dreaded knowing how things were going to be from now on.

-

taglist: @isa1b2h3 @naturakaashi @anuttellaa @tele86 @amysangel @fxckmiup @inloveallthetime @fightmedraco @railingsofsorrow @fandomarchiveilyd

#azriel #azriel x you #azriel fanfic #azriel acotar #azriel x reader #azriel shadowsinger #azriel spymaster #acotar fanfiction #acotar #acotar series #azriel angst

[bidisasterevankinard]

Wip Wednesday

guees who started new wip with baby queer Tommy in his 30s and confident whore Buck in his early 20s just an hour ago? meeeee

Before going to the bar where the handsome man is still drinking beer, Evan quickly corrects the way his top sits on him, pressing his fingers to his piercing to get his nipples more pebble, makes sure that the hairstyle is great, corrects his neon red lipstick and eyeliner, and wagging his hips goes to what promises to be a hot night.

“You look lost, big guy,” Evan puts on his best smile that always helps him get anything or anyone he wants, “can I seduce you with a new bottle of beer? Or would you prefer anything else? They have amazing cherry and peach shots. Can highly recommend,” he carefully leans to the guy not wanting to scare him too fast, so he still keeps some space between them.

“I-I,” the man swallows, looking at his face, clearly fascinated by Evan's lip piercing. 

Evan grins inside, licking his lower lip so that his tongue piercing is also visible. He knows how wanting to feel it between their legs drives people crazy. And this with adding the lipstick he has on his plump lips will guarantee this guy will want his mouth on him soon.

“I was just thinking about drinking this bottle and going home, but-but thanks.”

The man definitely lies if the way his voice is almost ready to break and how he tries hard not to check Evan’s body says anything.

Evan just arches his back more, leaning on the counter, he pretends to straighten his top, enjoying how while his attention is on the bartender, he literally burns under the heavy gaze of this man. 

He loves when people make him work before falling into his bed. It's a funny game. Till they are not saying real no, of course. Then he goes away because he’s not an asshole.

“You sure, handsome?” Evan bats his eyelashes. “Those shots are best in town. But maybe you’re not comfortable with drinking with someone not knowing their name? Well, then, I’m Evan, but,” Evan leans to whisper it yet leaving some space because he want this man to close the last the distance between them tonight when he will be ready, “you, handsome, can call me anything you want,” Evan winks and then when bartender finally comes to them asks again, “so shots or should I leave you alone?”

The way for man to get away from him. If he will tell him to leave him Evan will do it. 

“Yeah, shots. And both types sound good. Love both cherry and peaches,” man nods to him and smiles a little.

Evan orders four shots of both types for now and then turns back his full attention on the brunette finally deciding to sit near him and not just stay, “so what should I call you, big guy? Or do you prefer pet names I use?” 

“Tommy,” the man, Tommy, licks his lip, definitely looking a little tense, so that Evan wants to get on his knees already and blow him so good he will lose all this tension. Later, he stops himself. I'll do it later and he will see the god himself, while coming. “You can call me Tommy.”

I will not just call you that, sweety, I’ll scream it coming on your cock while riding you so hard you’ll see the stars - Evan thinks, but says, “Nice to meet you, Tommy,” with a little stretched intonation and a voice slightly lower than necessary highlighting the name. “Really nice to meet you.”

tagged by @dangerpronebuddie @wikiangela @tizniz 💙💙💙

Tagging @watchyourbuck @ebdaydreamer @eddiebabygirldiaz @evanbi-ckley @rainbow-nerdss @rogerzsteven @the-likesofus @thewolvesof1998 @theotherbuckley @underwaterninja13 @pirrusstuff @aspecbuddie @saybiwithme @spaceprincessem @spotsandsocks @devirnis @diazsdimples @fortheloveofbuddie @honestlydarkprincess @hippolotamus @jesuisici33 @cal-daisies-and-briars @bibuckbuckley @bekkachaos @bewilderedbuckley @bigfootsmom @bi-buckrights @neverevan @monsterrae1 @daffi-990 and anyone who wants to

#it's already 1k guys send help #one night stand wip #evan buckley #911 #evan buck buckley #911 abc #tommy kinard #bucktommy #tuck #tevan #kinkley #kinley #tommy x buck #buck x tommy #my wips

[hellfirenacht]

C'mon, It's Just One Night (Part 1)

Summary: After getting a fake love note in your locker, you ask Eddie to help you mess up some bullies plans. 

Tags: Eddie Munson x Reader, sfw, fem reader, reader wears a dress at one point, mentions of bullying, actual bullying, two-shot

Master List

Work Count: 3.7k Words

You ain't seen nothing yet....

The thing that always confused you about jocks and popular kids was that they always assumed that everyone else was dumber than them. Girls would come up to you and give you a compliment that was clearly not sincere and when you thanked them just to get them to leave you alone they would giggle and think that you believed them. Guys would ask you on dates as a joke and you’d roll your eyes and try to ignore them, even as they tried desperately for your attention for their own amusement. 

Thankfully, there were certain perks that came with being in the Hellfire Club. Being associated with Eddie “the Freak” Munson meant that as long as you were standing near your friend, you’d mostly be left alone. You’d sit with him at lunch, try and walk with him to class in the hallways, and in general just tried to avoid any jock that looked particularly bored. 

However it had been quiet over the past few weeks, too quiet for your liking. Honestly, you were almost missing some of the backhanded compliments because it at least gave you a chance to blow off some steam outside of Hellfire. Well, something out there heard your wish and that’s how you found yourself watching from the other end of the hallway as two boys shoved a note in your locker, snickering to themselves. 

Well, this should be entertaining at least. 

They didn’t even try and look around to see if anyone was watching them, too caught up in their own scheme to realize the person who’s locker they were messing with was watching them from just a few yards away. 

“-’s gonna be so funny.” laughed one. You didn’t even know their names. There were so many people at this school that how were you expected to keep up with everyone when you didn’t even speak to them?

“Yeah, she’s gonna be embarrassed and we’ll get a free show out of it.” laughed the other one. 

You were right there. How was it that you could be on their radar for this shit and yet still remain completely invisible? 

The two turned around and you pretended to be throwing something away in a nearby trash can quickly, so that they wouldn’t realize that you had been staring at them. 

“There she is, we gotta go!” you heard one say in a voice that you assumed was his idea of whispering as the two scampered off while trying to hold off their laughter. 

You gave them a generous thirty seconds to get away before making your way to your locker and opening it up, grabbing the note and reading it over. It took everything you had not to burst out laughing right there, and you were just going to throw it away when you had an idea. 

Tucking it into your pocket, you smiled and made your way to the drama room for Hellfire as you started making your own plans for what you’d just read. 

“And with the Dwarf’s golden pick rightfully returned to him, I think this is a good stopping point.” Eddie said, finally sitting back in his chair. He’d been really revved up today, jumping around the table and getting in everyone’s faces as he described what was happening. He’d nearly rammed his head into yours at one point and you had barely managed to lean back enough so he didn’t. 

Eddie was always revved up, always ready to put on a show. He wasn’t afraid to be loud or call out the bullshit of what was expected. Eddie would jump on tables, get in people's faces, declare himself King Freak. 

He was perfect. 

...For your plan. Nothing more. You knew he’d be on board when you explained what you wanted to do. He was perfect for... that. 

As the rest of the club filed out, you stayed behind to help clean up the leftover soda cans and break down the board. You were also stalling because you didn’t want any of the other members to witness what you were about to ask of Eddie. 

“Your Scottish accent is getting better and worse at the same time.” you said, handing him one of the minis. “Sometimes you nail it, and sometimes I don’t think you’re even trying to say anything legible.” 

“It’s better than your character's accent! Is your tiefling from New Jersey or trans-atlantic?” Eddie laughed, shoving his notes unceremoniously in a folder. 

“Why do Dwarves need to be Scottish anyway?” you ignored his question, fully aware that your accents were no better. “I think you should mix it up. Make Canadian dwarves or something.”

This is how Hellfire usually ended, with the two of you joking around and talking about the session and making fun of each other while you tried to get hints about what was to come. He never gave anything away. 

You blew out a few candles and Eddie went to readjust the lights. You reached into your pocket and pulled out the note. 

“So, Eddie.” you started, turning to him. “Remember how last month I helped you study for Mrs. O’Donnel’s midterm and you got a solid B?”

Eddie’s brow furrowed and he stopped what he was doing to look at you. Under the multicolored spotlights he looked... you never had the words to describe it. He just looked like Eddie. The Eddie that should be playing guitar on stage or the Eddie that kept your attention so easily and rapturously when he was running his games. You weren’t ready to say that to his face yet, despite the contradiction of what you were about to do. 

“I remember.” he said, walking over to you and crossing his arms. “I take it you aren’t just bringing up a fond memory of us to reminisce about?”

“Not a chance.” you looked into his brown doe eyes. “It’s time for you to pay up.” And with that you handed over the note. 

Eddie took it with a slight tilt of his head and unfolded it, scanning the contents. 

My Dearest, 

I’ve been watching you for weeks now, enraptored by your beauty. I’ve been too shy to talk to you, but now I want the chance to confess to you. I’m in love with you, and have been all year. I don’t care if everyone thinks you’re some weird Satanist freak because I’m into that. Please be my date for homecoming and meet me at the school at 7:30 pm.

-Your secret admirer  

“It’s not really a secret if you’re handing this directly to my face.” Eddie said, looking up from the note. “And you spelled ‘enraptured’ wrong.” 

“I found this in my locker.” you said, ignoring his comments. “Some jocks think they’re being funny and are clearly trying to pull some sort of prank to humiliate me.” 

“Think it’s a Carrie situation?” Eddie asked, looking over the note again before handing it back to you. 

“They don’t have the guts to get any pig's blood.” you shook your head. 

“So what does this have to do with me? You know that Hellfire doesn’t do school dances.” He said. “I thought we were just gonna blow it off, and Corroded Coffin is gonna do a secret show at the Quarry.”

“Eddie, all your shows are secret.”

“Not true, we have recently gained another groupie. There are now a grand total of six drunks that regularly listen to us play.” Eddie pouted. “Six and a half if you count the cat that’s been hanging around the Hideout.” 

“Yeah, okay, remember me when you’re famous.” You said. “Listen, I need your help. I’m coming to you wanting to cash in my favor. I need the Freak to help me out here, Eddie.”

“For what, exactly?” His eyes narrowed, but you stood your ground. 

“If I show up to homecoming, something's gonna happen. The best case scenario is that I show up and they ignore me and laugh while I wait for this fake person to show up. The worst case scenario ends with pigs blood and me learning I have telekinetic powers.” You explained. 

“So why even bother going? I thought we all agreed that Hellfire doesn’t do school events.” 

That was a good point, and you were making a gamble on this. Eddie didn’t do school events, and tried to make it a rule for his club as well. That didn’t go over well when Mike insisted that he was going to take his girlfriend Jane to homecoming, and everyone finally came clean that Lucas was playing both sides of the field and playing basketball AND doing Hellfire. 

You had to admit, Eddie’s face of disappointment and disapproval was pretty funny. You felt bad for the guy though, he avoided anything school related like the plague outside of this club. Eddie had boasted that he’d never gone to prom or homecoming, and had been skipping any pep rally since his second senior year. 

“You agreed that you didn’t go to events. I never agreed to anything.” you said firmly. “I only agreed to show up every Friday and wear the Hellfire shirt.”

“And again I ask, what does this have to do with me?” Eddie pushed. 

“Be my date for homecoming.” you said. “My fake date. I want you to get to me before they have the chance to.”

Eddie froze for a second, a thousand emotions flashing through his eyes at once. You’d seen this look countless times when one of his players had thrown him a curve-ball and he had to scramble to figure out how to make it work for the game. 

“Your fake date.” he said slowly. “So you want me to- what exactly?” 

“I want you to show up and pretend to be the person who wrote this note.” you explained. “I’ll pretend to be thrilled, you get to be seen with a cute girl at a dance, the gossip train gets something to talk about, and the jocks get their plans foiled. Everybody wins.” 

Eddie rolled his eyes at your plan. “Or you could just not show up at all and just come help us set up for the show.” He said. 

“But that’s not fun.” You pointed out. “Besides, if they think we’re together even just for the night then they’ll leave me alone. Probably”

Eddie looked skeptical. 

“Please?” you leaned closer, making your eyes wide as possible. “Eddie, these dicks have been on my ass all semester. I can’t go two weeks without getting asked out as a joke or having some meat head yell about how his “friend thinks I’m cute”. It’s fucking annoying, and ignoring them has done jack and shit.” 

You saw the stone look in his eyes falter and his shoulders ease up. “You’re really serious about this?” he asked. 

“I am.” you confirmed. “You do this for me, and you can have full creative control. Show up in your Hellfire shirt, hell you could show up in your pjs and I’ll pretend to be thrilled that you’re my secret admirer. We’ll make sure that we’re seen, then we can go to the quarry. We don’t even have to stay for fifteen minutes. Just show up for me, Eddie. Please.” 

Eddie took a deep breath and rubbed his face with his hands. “Fifteen minutes. All I have to do is show up and pretend that I’m your secret admirer and then we leave. Right?”

“Right.” You promised. “That’s all I need.”

Eddie sighed deeply and grabbed his jacket and threw it on. “I am never asking for your help studying again. You drive a hard bargain.” Despite his words he had a grin on his face. 

“I’m going easy on you, if you had gotten an A I’d be demanding that you show up in a full tux with roses.” you teased. “I’m talking about the full cheesy school dance treatment. Corsage, first dance, all of it.”

“Don’t even start, you’d have to get me to completely ace her whole class to get that kind of treatment.” Eddie grabbed your shoulder and started pushing you up the stairs. “I wouldn’t even know where to get a tux.” 

“I think you’re supposed to rent one.” you laughed as the two of you made your way out of the drama room and closed the door. “I, however, will need to actually buy my dress.”

“You’re really gonna get a dress for this? We’re only going for fifteen minutes.” Eddie pointed out. 

“Oh, would you rather me show up looking terrible?” you asked, raising an eyebrow. “You really wanna show up and fake-confess to me looking plain and like I don’t care?”

“You really want to sell this, huh?” Eddie laughed. 

“It’s the only way I can think of for them to stop.” You said. 

The two of you made your way to the parking lot. Eddie walking you to your car. 

“Remember Eddie, you have full creative control over how you want to do this.” you said, getting in the driver's seat. “I don’t care how you show up, just go loud.”

“Eddie ‘the Freak’ Munson would never disappoint.” he said, closing the door for you with a flourish.

You were going to get a dress for this. 

No, you weren’t, you were only going to be there for fifteen minutes at most. 

But your mom would want to take pictures and be thrilled you were even going. After all, you’d avoided it during your first four years of high school. 

And you wanted to. 

That was the real kick in the pants for all this. You wanted to go to homecoming. You wanted to have a night to dress up and look nice and have fun with your friends. Unfortunately, only the freshmen were going to the dance, and as much as you loved Mike, Lucas, and Dustin, you didn’t really think you’d have a lot of fun with some kids a good five years younger than you. Hell, Mike and Lucas had actual dates and Dustin had a long distance girlfriend! 

You’d be the single person in the group and that didn’t exactly put points in your favor for sticking around for the dance. The rest of Hellfire didn’t bother going to these kinds of things, as this town made it clear that school events were for normal people who enjoyed normal things, whatever the fuck that meant. 

As much as you denied ever wanting to go to homecoming or prom, you knew that you wanted to, and you knew who you wanted to go with. 

On the bright side, at least you’d get your secret wish now, even if it was for fifteen minutes. 

Eddie had made it clear since the first time the words “school dance” were uttered in his presence a few years ago that he wasn’t going to even entertain the idea of showing up. Those nights were dedicated to one shots or longer sessions for Hellfire. So for the past few years you had skipped out on any dances in favor of at least telling your beat up journal that you had technically spent prom or homecoming with Eddie Munson. 

You walked into the department store that you knew had a sizable selection of dresses, took one look at the price tags, and walked right back out. It was insane to spend that money on one night of dancing, let alone fifteen minutes. 

Besides, where else would you even wear a dress like that? You laughed at the idea of showing up to Hellfire, with your shirt on over whatever you would have picked. That’d be stupid. 

....

But it’d also be funny. 

You walked back into the department store and ignored the front and center mannequins to hit up the clearance rack instead. Even as you browsed, you were still trying to convince yourself that you didn’t need to buy something for this. Eddie was probably just going to show up in his old faded DIO shirt and some old jeans (maybe the ones that had that hole in the butt that showed his boxers when you stood behind him, if you were lucky). He probably wouldn’t even brush his hair. 

You had a choice to make. How much of an effort did you want to put into your appearance for this? Should you follow Eddie’s approach and just show up as normal, or should you allow yourself an indulgence in the Cinderella fantasy? What did you want, and what did this revenge situation call for?

You wanted to look nice. You wanted to tell your journal that you had a date with Eddie and that you looked good and that those asshole jocks didn’t even recognize you. Wouldn’t it be better that way anyway? No matter what Eddie looked like when he showed up, the point would be made clear; you were off the market (as far as anyone would be able to tell) and Eddie Munson had gotten the girl. No, not the girl; a girl. Being the girl implied that you were someone that Eddie had an interest in. 

Dresses of different lengths and cuts and colors started to blend together as you indulged in the fantasy of matching your dress to whatever Eddie was going to wear. You flipped through the dress rack while you mentally flipped through all the shirts you had seen Eddie wear in the last few weeks. He favored darker colors most times, the main exception being the white Hellfire Club shirt. 

“Dark clothes don’t stain as easily.” he’d explained before. 

You kept flipping through the racks of last seasons’ fashion, trying to find something that you could wear. Halfway through you considered giving up and just showing up in what you would have worn to the quarry if you hadn’t planned this whole thing. 

You need to commit to the bit. You reminded yourself. These jocks are expecting you to look pretty and then try to embarrass you. Don’t half ass it.

Sucking it up, you made your way over to the normal racks. Your mom had given you some cash to buy yourself a nice dress, but you had been hoping to just buy something cheaper and save the rest to buy off of Eddie later. 

You walked out of the store, bag in hand, with a receipt showing a number that made you feel sick. You reminded yourself over and over it was for you, Eddie, and your mom. 

“Are you sure you have the charisma for this?” Gareth asked. “You always roll shit with any charisma roll.”

“Gareth, I don’t know if you know this, but rolling a die and saying that I’m trying to do something is different than actually doing it outside of the game.” you said as the two of you made your way into the Library. You had it on good authority that this was the jocks study hall period, and you wanted to really sell your plan. 

“I still don’t get why I have to be part of this. I’m not even going to homecoming either.” He grumbled. “This whole thing is stupid. You should just come to the show instead.” 

“I can do both.” you waved him off. “All I need you to do is let me talk at you-”

“You do that anyway.”

“Yes, but this time I need you to pretend to be invested.” You explained. “You let me talk about how excited I am for homecoming and to meet my secret admirer and I use my powers of being able to leave school during lunch to bring you McDonald’s tomorrow.” 

Gareth couldn’t argue with that, no teenage boy could resist the sweet temptation of greasy fast food in the middle of the school day. It was more than a fair trade, even if Gareth didn’t see the point in this. You just really wanted to sell your plan. 

“Remember, all you need to do is ask me who I’m going to Homecoming with.” you reminded him. 

The two of you walked over to where the group of basketball players were goofing off and not really studying, and the two who had slid the note into your locker started nudging each other and snickering to themselves. 

“So who are you going to homecoming with?” Gareth asked, his line delivery stiff and unnatural and disinterested. You had to fight with yourself to not roll your eyes at the lackluster performance. 

“I don’t know!” your voice was a little higher pitched at the response, trying to emulate the cheerleaders you’d seen giggling in their groups as they gossiped. You pulled the note that you had been keeping in your pocket. “I got this note asking me to meet them at the dance, so I have no idea!”

You continued to gush to the disinterested Gareth how excited you were to be asked to go, and speculating on who it could be. The entire time, your friend looked like he’d rather be smashing his head against the table than listen to you talk about this, which was honestly more fun for you than the jocks reactions. 

From the table behind you, the normally loud group of boys were attempting to be quiet as they snickered and nudged each other. You wished that Gareth would try and talk a little more so that you could stop talking to eavesdrop on them. 

When the jocks started getting louder again, that’s when you dropped the conversation. They weren’t interested in hearing anymore and so you weren’t either. 

“So what was the point of that?” Gareth muttered, making his way to the exit of the library. 

“I don’t want them to forget about me. If I’m gonna be completely honest, I really just expected them to totally forget they left something in my locker about this.” you adjusted your backpack, following him out. “I’m committed to the bit.”

“Sounds like you’re just asking for trouble.” He shook his head. 

“Maybe a little.” you sighed. “Eddie and I are graduating this year and I don’t want to look back at my time here and think that I just took the bullshit that was given to me. I just want them to get off my ass for the rest of the year.” 

“Do you really think it’ll work?” 

“Only one way to find out.” 

Part 2 It's Gonna Be A Night We'll Never Forget (Coming Soon)

Dividers By: @strangergraphics

Tag List: @somethingvicked @ladysilence @leelei1980 @seexyyprincess @rosebudsgarden @ghcstpyre @crocwork-clockodile

#nacht fic #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you

[heavenlyhischier]

𝐒𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐝 𝐂𝐨𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐞 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐬 𝐋𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐬 | 𝐋𝐮𝐤𝐞 𝐇𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐞𝐬

word count: 4.9k

summary: The one where you run into the guy who makes you believe in love all over again.

warnings: kissing, strangers to friends to lovers where they’re both a little oblivious, game mentioned is the game against philly with luke's ot goal

note: no angst?? who am i?? thank you maddy for answering my questions about luke so i could make this as accurate as possible ily

Someone once said that love comes when you least expect it and when you’re not looking for it, but you used to never believe that. You used to think that love was something you always searched for in others, that love was something everyone wanted, but you stopped believing that after it kept leaving you stranded and broken. You stopped looking for romantic love, choosing to believe that maybe it wasn’t meant for you, until one day when you’re quite literally trampled by the boy that made you believe in it all over again.

Walking the path near the water was one of your favorite pastimes since you’ve moved to the unfamiliar city. It was something that always brought you a sense of serenity whenever reality became a little too overbearing, or when you just needed a space to breathe after a particularly straining day at work. It was also your favorite way to start off your day whenever you had the time. Always a coffee in hand as you savored the peacefulness before the day truly began.

Today was one of the fortunate days when the weather wasn’t too cold that you needed more than a light jacket when you stepped outside. There weren't many people out and about as the sun had barely risen, but there were still a handful on their morning jogs or simply relaxing on the benches as they read a book. You had only looked away from the path in front of you for a brief second when you collided with something, or rather someone, and it sent your barely drank coffee to the ground, spilling all over your shoes.

“Shit,” You heard a boyish voice exclaim, his hands grasping at your biceps to keep you upright, “I’m so sorry!”

You knew it wasn’t on purpose, but you couldn’t help but grow a slight annoyance as you stared at the dropped drink. It wasn’t entirely his fault because you weren’t paying attention either and it wasn’t like you had just bought the coffee, you were just slow to drink it. Looking up at the person in front of you, your breath hitched in your throat when you saw one of the cutest guys you’d seen in the city yet. Though he looked slightly familiar, you just couldn’t place where you might have seen him.

He had a sympathetic, small smile on his face as he awkwardly dropped his hands back to his side. He had a beanie covering his hair, but there were a few strands of curls that had managed to poke out from the thick material. You were close enough to him that you can see a small scratch on the bridge of his nose that looked almost fully healed. He was quite a bit taller than you as well, his anxious eyes peering down into your own as you slowly blink at him.

“Are you okay,” He spoke again, gaze briefly filtering down to your shoes.

“Yeah,” You sigh as you step away from him, “I’m fine, but my shoes might not be.”

The both of you let out awkward chuckles before you bend down to grab the cup, slightly frowning to yourself as you bring it to your chest. When you meet his eyes again, he looks as if he was contemplating something by the way he keeps looking all around you. His hands were shoved in the pocket of his hoodie as he shifted his weight on his feet. The air is a little awkward as you think about just walking away, but he speaks before your feet ever move.

“Let me buy you a new drink,” He suggests, his voice slightly quieter than before as if he was nervous, “It’s the least I can do.”

“Oh, no you don’t have to do that,” You shake your head, “It’s no big deal. It’s just a coffee.”

“Please,” He tries, not wanting to press so hard enough he comes off desperate, “It looked almost full based on what I can see on the ground.”

You couldn’t help but notice his shy smile and hesitant eyes as he waited for your response. His cheeks and nose were slightly pink from the wind that refused to stop whipping at any exposed skin it found. He was sporting a nervous half smile as you mulled the option over in your head, trying to gather if there was any plausible reason to not let the cute boy with a crooked smile buy you another coffee.

“I guess it wouldn’t hurt,” You agree, a smile of your own toying on your lips as you keep your gaze on him, “But only if you tell me your name first.”

“Luke,” He lightly chuckled, taking his hand out of his pocket, extending it for you to shake, “Yours?”

You gingerly took his hand in your own as you told him your name, ignoring the way his touch made your cheeks heat up and butterflies fill your stomach. You retracted your hand quickly, moving it to grasp the cup with both hands as you gestured for Luke to lead the way. You catch the way his eyes briefly dart to your cup before he began to walk the direction you had been coming from.

The two of you fell into a bit of an awkward conversation, him asking you if you were from the area and him telling you that he wasn’t either. He told you that he played professional hockey for the Devils and it clicked in your brain that that was why he looked familiar. You had seen him on TV, but you weren’t involved in the sport enough to put a name to his face. You teased him a little and playfully asked if he would get you tickets to a game, but the speed at which he said yes shocked even himself.

When Luke was handing you your new drink, that was when he told you that he was already running a bit late to some sort of meeting with his team and as much as he’d like to stay, he had to leave. You would be lying if you said you weren’t a little disappointed at the news, but you ended up exchanging phone numbers before he was rushing away, still not entirely looking where he was going. You watched him leave with a smile on your face and a sort of hope filling your chest that you hadn’t felt in a long time.

The two of you had began texting each other so often that people started to ask questions. Though it had only taken three days of you quietly giggling to yourself for your roommate to ask who the guy was. Whereas for Luke, it had only taken Jack until after practice the day he had met you. Jack had never seen his younger brother rush to check his phone while still in full gear before so quickly, and that was how he knew.

You didn’t see Luke for nearly two weeks after you had initially met courtesy of the stars, also known as his games and your work schedule, never aligning in the right way. When Luke had texted you after one of his games asking if you were free the following evening and you finally got to answer with a yes, you grew excited, and also extremely nervous.

He had given you the option to go out and do something, or to come over to his place and the two of you could order food and watch movies; just hangout, he had said. You ultimately decided on the second option since the weather had grown colder and you weren’t necessarily in the mood to join the crowds of people in the city. He subtly mentioned that his brother would be gone so it would just be the two of you, and the thought made your cheeks warm despite knowing he had no underlying intentions.

When you had texted Luke to tell him you had finally found a parking spot and he told you where to go from there, you had to take a small breather in your car to get yourself to stop shaking before finally going into the expensive looking building. You were so focused on taking in all of the little details inside the lobby that you weren’t paying attention to where you were going and ran straight into someone’s chest.

You let out a surprised squeal as you squeeze your eyes closed at the impact, fully prepared to go stumbling backwards, but you never do. You can feel their hands on your hips, the pads of their fingers slightly digging into the skin separated by the material of your shirt. The soft laugh that filtered through your eyes made your eyes snap open to see a familiar face sporting an amused smile.

“At least there’s no coffee this time,” Luke teases, keeping his hands on you a tad longer than necessary before he pulls them back to his own body.

“Shut up,” You mumbled, hoping he didn’t notice the tinge to your cheeks, “I was looking at the stupid fancy decorations. I didn’t know you were going to be down here.”

“I noticed,” He chuckled, “You thought I wouldn’t meet you down here?”

“Well, no. You gave me the apartment number so I expected to meet you there,” You shrugged, forcing your gaze away from him and to your feet.

“You would’ve thought it was weird if I didn’t give you the apartment number,” He raises his eyebrows even though you aren’t looking at him, “Besides, sometimes people have trouble finding the door. It’s a little confusing.”

When you had reached the floor his apartment was on and saw that it was only one big hallway, you couldn’t help but give him a confused look. It wasn’t confusing at all, especially given the fact that his door was only the second one on the left. You could tell he was purposely avoiding looking in your direction as he pushed through the door, holding it open for you to slip inside, and you chose to let it be.

The rest of the night was spent with the two of you talking about anything that possibly came to mind once you got through the brief bout of awkward tension, and you quickly found that Luke could talk forever. He talked about his teammates and family in a way that made you smile because it was clear he truly loved and looked up to them. You told him about your family back home and why you moved and the way he was hanging on to every word made you flustered because no one had ever cared enough to listen to you that way.

By the time the night was winding down, you were close enough to him on the couch that your thighs would brush together and his arm was slung around the cushions behind you, but not touching you. There was a movie playing on the tv in front of you, but you would be lying if you said you were paying attention to it. All you could think about was how things with Luke flowed so naturally and how you hadn’t felt this comfortable around someone in so long that you forgot the feeling even existed.

The two of you began hanging out regularly after that, never doing anything more than something you would do with a friend, but you could feel your feelings for him grow with each passing day. It started off as small notions and things you could brush off, but then you found yourself thinking of him no matter what you were doing. You were always seeing something that reminded you of him or something that made you think ‘oh, Luke would love that. I can’t wait to show him’. However, you were far too scared to let yourself believe that he would ever feel the same, so you swallowed those urges and went on as if nothing had changed.

When Luke had asked if you would be interested in going to one of his games, you thought nothing of it. You had told him that you would gladly go, but you would only need one ticket since your roommate worked most evenings and you didn’t necessarily have anyone else to go with. He told you not to worry about that and he would figure something out for you before he asked for your email to send the ticket. What he meant by that, you weren’t sure, but you didn’t ask questions.

You asked your roommate to help you with your outfit before she left for work that day, wanting to make sure what you wore wasn’t too much but also wasn’t sloppy. Once she had settled on something that adhered to your standards, she managed to leave enough time for her to help with your hair as well. She could tell that you were nervous based on the way your hands were constantly fiddling with each other and by the way your already clumsy habits seemed to increase by the second.

You weren’t entirely sure why you were so nervous. It wasn’t like this was the first time you were hanging out with Luke, and it surely wasn’t going to be the last. For some reason, him inviting you to one of his games felt different, but then it made you queasy because you began to think about how many girls he had invited before. By the time you were on your way to the arena, you had managed to calm yourself down enough that your heart rate was almost back to normal and your self sabotaging thoughts had been long forgotten.

Luke had taken the liberty of reserving parking for you, which you tried to deny but he said he had already done it so there was no room to argue. The parking garage was full of people in various jerseys for both teams as they made their way into the arena with you following suit because you had virtually no idea where you were going. You were so focused on looking at section numbers that you kept bumping into people, quiet apologies tumbling from your lips as you rushed away from their pointed looks.

Eventually, you found the correct section and showed your ticket to the usher at the top of the stairs before following his direction as you walked down. You stopped at the row your seat was in, your eyes falling on a group of women as they talked and laughed with one another, and you suddenly felt a wave of insecurity wash over you. They clearly knew each other, and you were there by yourself, and on top of that, they were absolutely gorgeous.

You took a deep breath before you shuffled down the row and to your seat, trying to ignore the way their voices grew quiet whenever you sat down. You could feel their eyes on you as you kept yours on the rink, watching as they set up the net and as others filed down towards their seats before the game started. It wasn’t until you felt a gentle tap on your shoulder that you turned to look at the one sitting right next to you.

“Hi,” One of them greeted, a bright smile on her face, “I’m Nicole!

You let out a shaky breath as you took her hand, giving her your name before returning her smile. The way her eyes lit up and she briefly glanced at the girls around her with a subtle smirk threw you off, but she was quick to ease your confusion as she moved her focus back to you.

“So you’re the girl Luke won’t stop talking about,” She playfully teases, “He made sure Jesper told me you would be coming and to look out for you so you weren’t alone.”

You can’t stop your face from heating up by being identified as ‘the girl Luke won’t shut about’, and judging by the way the other girls looked at you, it seemed to be a universal experience. They went around and introduced themselves, and their children, to you before they began to ask you questions. They started off with the easy questions such as your career, if you were in school, if you were from the area, if you were a big fan of hockey, but they quickly transferred the topic over to your relationship with Luke.

“We’re just friends,” You meekly said, eyes darting away from them as you pulled your bottom lip between your teeth.

“But you like him,” Cat asks as she raises her eyebrows, though her tone hints that she knows the answer to that.

You briefly hesitated, not sure what your response should be, but you were very graciously saved by the music blaring through the speakers followed by the announcer's voice. You hastily turned towards the ice, thanking whatever higher being saved you from the embarrassment of admitting your feelings out loud.

As the game started, you caught yourself really only focusing on Luke rather than the puck itself. If he wasn’t on the ice, you were leaning towards the girls beside you to ask questions about the game you didn’t entirely understand. When he was on the ice, you flinched every time he got hit a little too hard, or when he would trip over seemingly nothing and fall on the ice. Although, you did know to join in on the collective booing whenever he was sent to the penalty box for a bogus call.

The game ended up going into overtime with Luke, his brother, and team captain on the ice as they stood opposite the Flyers players. Your hands were clasped together as you leaned forward, waiting with baited breath as the puck dropped on the ice. You watch as they skate towards their net, hastily trying to get the puck from the other team. You’re not sure who managed to get possession, but the next thing you know Luke is taking a shot that ends up in the net to win the game.

You jump out of your seat as you scream, your eyes not leaving Luke as he learns forward into a celebratory bow that you’re positive he did when he was at Michigan. A fact you knew after you asked him “if he was even good at hockey” and he proceeded to show you his highlight reels for the next hour. His team rushes towards him with giant smiles on their faces as they crowd around him, the arena filling with cheers so loud that it made your ears ring.

By the time things had calmed down, Nicole was the first to tell you that you were supposed to go with them down to the locker room. You walked through the arena with them, only briefly stopping to talk with security because you didn’t have the correct pass. The area outside the locker room was buzzing with life as various friends and family members of the team waited for the guys, their voices meshing with the loud cheers from inside.

The guys slowly began to trickle out of the locker room clad in their fancy and expensive suits, dopey grins on their faces. You stayed tucked between Cat and Nicole as they talked, but you were only halfway listening as you kept an eye out for Luke. Some of the guys you only vaguely remembered from pictures or videos Luke had shown you, but most you knew with confidence because of how often their names popped up in conversation.

When you finally saw a familiar head of curls walking through the doors, it was a bit embarrassing how quickly a smile grew on your face. He wasn’t even looking in your direction, instead animatedly talking to his brother who had seen you, a slight smirk on his face. The girls had stepped away from you, knowing looks on their faces when Luke finally looked in front of him to see you standing there waiting for him.

If they thought Luke was excited before, it was absolutely nothing compared to the look on his face when his eyes landed on you. He quickened his pace, leaving his conversation, and his brother, behind as he only focused on getting to you. You were painfully aware of the multitude of gazes on you, the attention beginning to slightly overwhelm you, but all of the worry disappeared the moment Luke wrapped his arms around you, pulling you close to him.

“Congratulations on your goal,” You mumble with your head pressed against his chest, your arms draped around the middle of his frame.

“Thank you for coming,” He quietly says, his hold on you subtly tightening as he lets out a deep breath.

You can barely hear the quiet whispers of those around you over the blood pounding in your ears, but you didn’t mind them anyways. Right now, all you wanted to focus on was the way his arms felt around you and the way his entire body seemed to relax under your touch. While physical touch with Luke wasn’t uncommon, it still gave you a small sense of hope that maybe everyone was right and maybe he did like you back after all.

“Jack, you might need somewhere to stay tonight,” You heard one of the other guys tease from behind him, making your face heat up as you stepped away from Luke. Though he doesn’t entirely break away from, keeping his arm slung across your shoulders as he turns to look at his teammates.

“Oh, I planned for it don’t worry,” He laughs as he shakes his head, “You picked a good first game to come to. Luke played his ass off.”

“I always do,” Luke quickly defended himself, his voice slightly raising and his posture straightening the smallest amount.

“Yeah, but you really did tonight,” Dawson pressed with a mischievous smile on his face.

“You guys are annoying,” Luke rolls his eyes, “I’m starving, so we are going to leave. I’ll see you guys tomorrow.”

Your gaze snaps up to Luke as he briefly looks down at you with his usual half smile, but the sound of Jack calling out to him briefly moves his attention back to his brother. You let your eyes fall back to the ground in front of you, your mind running a mile a minute as you try to ignore the way he’s slightly grazing the skin above your collarbone with his fingers. Your breath hitches in your throat, the skin involuntarily raising in wake of his touch as you try to keep yourself outwardly collected.

“Hey,” Luke’s voice breaks through the thin barrier keeping you composed, “You ready? I figured I’ll drive so you can put the chipotle order in and we can pick it up on our way back to my apartment. Is that okay?”

“Yeah, of course,” You breathe out, giving him a small smile.

The two of you bid goodbye to the others, but not before they could pass on teasing comments or not so subtle winks as you passed by them. Luke had dropped his arm from your shoulders, a small absent feeling settling over you when he did. He asked you if you ended up having a good time and if the girls were nice to you, which you, of course, told him that you did and the girls were extremely welcoming and kind.

When Luke had climbed into the driver’s seat, he fished his wallet out of his pocket and handed you his credit card with the subtle threat that if he didn’t see a charge on his card for the food that he would buy you the expensive hoodie you had looked at a few days ago. You rolled your eyes as you took his card, not knowing that he had already bought the hoodie anyway and was waiting to give it to you.

By the time the two of you had picked up your food and were back at his apartment, your nerves from earlier had almost entirely disappeared and things felt normal again. Before the two of you started eating, he went into his room to change, and he returned with a random pair of sweatpants you had forgotten you bought last week and a shirt you’re positive was his. He waited for you to come back before he started eating like he always did, but you couldn’t help but feel like the air surrounding you felt slightly off.

You couldn’t tell if you were overthinking things or if something really was wrong because you still felt that way when the two of you moved to the couch. Luke still sat in his usual spot directly next to you, but he was barely focusing on the movie. His eyes kept darting around the room and he was nervously chewing on his bottom lip. You wanted to ask him if he was okay, but you kept your eyes on the TV until he spoke up.

“Can I tell you something,” Luke nearly shouted, slightly startling you out of your spot on the couch, “Shit, sorry. I didn’t mean to yell. I just– I need to tell you something.”

Your eyes were wide and full of confusion, and slight panic, as you spoke, “Yeah, of course. You can tell me anything.”

You watched as he took a deep breath, slightly turning his body so he was facing you completely, and you couldn’t help but let an almost painful sense of worry envelope you. You were running over every possible scenario you could conjure in your mind, but they were all so negative that you had convinced yourself what he was going to say was too.

“This might screw everything up and if you never want to talk to me again, that’s fine, but I can’t ignore it anymore,” His voice was serious, yet thick with an emotion you refused to place, “After I scored tonight and all the guys were around me, all I could think about was you. Not even just you being there to see it, but celebrating with you. Seeing your smile. Hugging you. Kissing you.”

He said the last part so quietly that you almost didn’t hear him, but you did. Those two words rang in your ears as you looked at him, your mouth slightly dropped open as the ability to form a semi coherent thought in your mind suddenly fleeing. You wanted to respond, to tell him that it was all you could think about too, but your mouth and brain were far from cooperative.

Your silence was slowly suffocating Luke, and he quickly wishes he never said anything at all. To him, he knew it was a long shot that you felt the same way he did. Early in your friendship, you had let it slip that you weren't looking for a relationship and you wanted to focus on yourself. He knew that, but he couldn’t keep his feelings to himself anymore.

“I’m sorry,” He backtracks, shaking his head, “I shouldn’t have said anyth–”

You cut him off by surging forward and slamming your lips on his own, not trusting yourself to accurately say everything you felt. Luke’s reaction was almost instantaneous, his hands grabbing at your hips and pulling you onto his lip as he kisses you back. The metaphorical wall that had been keeping the two of you as friends crumbled beneath you as you pour everything you felt for him into one kiss.

His hands had moved to the small of your back, pulling you so close that there wasn’t even a millimeter of space separating you from him. Your hands were looped around his neck as your mouth moved against his own, and you couldn’t stop yourself from carefully grasping at his curls. Luke groaned against you, and he knew he had to stop before he took things too far on his living room couch.

He pulls away from you, his heavy breathing falling in sync with your own as he drops his head to your shoulder. You can feel his chest rise and fall against you as you attempt to gather your thoughts and tell yourself that this was real. That it actually happened and it wasn’t something you had dreamed up again, but you were suddenly shaken from your thoughts when Luke harshly snapped his head up to look at you.

“Wait, does this mean you like me back,” He asks, feigning a sense of seriousness, but you can see the smile threatening to shine through.

“You’re an idiot,” You playfully roll your eyes at him.

“Maybe, but I’m your idiot, ” He counters before his eyes slightly widen as he hesitantly continues, “Right?”

“Yeah,” You chuckle, a small smile decorating your face, “You are.”

The two of you spend the rest of the night wrapped up in the other, the movie halfway forgotten as you found yourself with your lips on his more often than not. You were selfishly thankful that Jack had been telling the truth when he said he found somewhere else to stay. The uninterrupted time you spent in Luke’s arms allowed you to truly soak it in. To relish in the fact that you had finally found someone who made you believe that love did exist, and you owed it all to one spilled coffee.

#luke hughes #luke hughes imagine #luke hughes x reader #luke hughes fic #luke hughes oneshot #nhl imagine #hockey imagine

[rainylana]

“I’m always going to take care of you.” Alternate version!

Eddie Munson x female reader

summary: this is a new version of my old series i wrote last year. so many people have asked to see more of how eddie deals with such a horrible thing happening to the reader, so here we go, this is for you!

warnings: PLEASE READ! this is purposely written, in the beginning, as fast paced. i was trying to establish a sense of anxiety and fear while writing it because of how quickly it happened. the assault happens differently and does not go into much detail this chapter, but will during the next. i purposely switched povs because i still wanted to give insight to the reader. so with that being said, warnings for this fic include: rape, blood and bruises, broken bones, hospitalization, language, smoking of weed, trauma and shock, lots of tears and angst. please, please, let me know what you thought and if there’s anything i need to go about differently. it’s been a year since i’ve properly revisited this series. i feel like this version will be much darker and will take more of a toll. let me know your thoughts and if anything needs changed. i never spellcheck lol. this one’s for all of us. i see you and feel you. much love, lana.

Steve Harrington’s parties were the kind that were talked about for weeks on end. The music, the food, the house. It was a mansion, and there had been many of times were you and Eddie had slept in multiple rooms of that house, unbeknownst to the owners knowledge.

This party was no different. Bodies were on bodies, beer was spilled and the pool was splashing every drop of water out into the flower bed, that was no covered in trash. There was a basketball court that entertained the jocks. It was an absolute mansion.

You were somewhere. Eddie would see you from time to time getting more beer or a snack, coming over to check on him. He closed his eyes, taking a long drag and leaned against the wall. “Shit, this shit is good.” He coughed slightly, letting his arms fall at his sides, black sleeves pulled up at his elbows.

You found him eventually, hair slightly wet from being splashed at the pool, a towel wrapped around your shoulders. Most everyone was wearing their bathing suits. You smiled when you sat down beside him, laughing at the redness of his eyes. “Feelin good, Eddie?” You tapped his chin.

He grinned at you goofily. “Shit, is the shit, babe. Wanna try?” He offered it to you.

You plopped down on your ass and sat beside him, saying hi to all the others that joined the circle. You laid your head on his shoulder. “Sure you don’t want to come swim with me, Ed? It feels good. Moons out, too. It could be romantic.”

“I give you plenty of romance, darlin’.” He said through hooded eyes, armed laid lazily around your wet shoulders. “Damn, your tits are out!” He exclaimed, finally realizing you had changed, eyes bulging for dramatics.

You laughed and rolled your eyes. “My tits are not out. Everyone is wearing them! You picked it out, don’t you remember?”

“Baby, I’m gonna be honest, I don’t remember much of anything right now.” He was practically drooling at the mouth, giggling like a child and floating off into space.

“Uh, huh.” You gave him a look before turning to the rest of the group. “He’s cut off.”

He was too stoned to realize what you had said, curling up in himself and lulling his head against the wall, eyes drooping closed.

“Eddie, Eddie, oh, okay,” You sighed, watching as he fell asleep. “I’m serious, Gareth, make sure he doesn’t do anything else. I got to carry this guy home, you know.”

You sat with Eddie for almost an hour, making sure he was alright. He always was. He always got tired when he smoked weed, you did too, but not near as much as he did. You gave him a kiss on the cheek, telling everyone else you’d be back and that you were going to change your clothes.

You went to the same room you always did, walked up the same steps and same corridor, the air cool against the exposure of your wet skin. Nobody was upstairs. You had planned for a quick change and nothing more, but you hadn’t any idea what was waiting for you behind the door, or the fact you were being followed.

•

Eddie was in and out of it, waking up here and there if someone spoke loudly enough. Dustin kept laughing, about what, he didn’t know or care. He just wanted to sleep. Later on he would realize that it was probably an act of God that he heard you, because there was no scientific explanation for it. He shouldn’t have heard you.

The music was booming loud, playing a hit from Blondie over the speakers. People were chugging beers, getting high and fucking out in the shed outside, the bedrooms above. The lights were flashing on and off, mixtures of colors painting the walls, their bodies. There was no way he could of heard you, yet he did.

He felt as if he were dreaming at first. His eyes were still closed, body numb from the awkward position he was in. It felt like a loud thumping at first, like something had hit the floor. Then a crash, something had broke. Then a high pitched noise, someone had screamed. It had to have been a dream, because he swore it was you.

Eddies eyes peeled open slowly, foggy and clouded from his high, but he didn’t feel so good anymore, and was left with a chill up his spine. He looked to the right of him to find you gone. “Gareth?” His voice was gravely and deep. “Where’d y/n go?”

Gareth pointed up the stairs quickly, eager to get back to his conversation with Robin about her thoughts on the new Back to the Future movie. Eddie had pushed himself up and found the stairs. It was a mansion, having had to climb four sets of stairs before he could find the hallway. Each set he could hear it clearer. He still shouldn’t have. The music was too loud. He could feel the vibrations underneath his feet against the wood flooring.

He walked quicker and quicker, the sounds of crashing, screaming, begging, becoming louder and louder. Soon, he heard his own name, and he knew it was you. He was running then, as fast as he could to find you. And when he did, the last door on the left, the same room you both had slept in many of times, he was brought to pure horror.

•

You weren’t entirely sure what was happening. Well, you did. You had been raped. You were just confused what was happening now. You were sitting up, staring blankly at the floor. Eddie was down at your feet, saying something, saying a lot of things, actually, but you couldn’t hear him. It sounded like he was underwater. Your ears were ringing, and he kept dabbing his hand under your nose. Were you bleeding?

Your hands were vibrating, along with the other parts of your body, shaking like you were having a seizure. Surely you’d pass out soon. Everything you felt was heightened. The pain, the emotion, or lack of. You soon realized you were going into shock.

You felt everything, yet nothing, all at the same time.

•

Four seconds.

It had taken four seconds for Eddie to react. Four seconds for him to decide what to do. He’d found you bent over the bed, hands pinned above your head and legs split apart. The man above you, twice your size, twice his size, a man he’d never seen before, raping you. It had taken him four seconds to react.

The man above you had stopped when Eddie had come in, staring at him in the act with a look of surprise and shock. Eddie lunged then, knocking the man over and into a side table that crumbled under their weight, a string of punches and curses, the sound of choking and items breaking. There was so much noise, but you didn’t hear any of it. You laid there, bent over, legs spread, a mixture of blood and semen seeping out of you as you stared straight ahead, fixated on the painting in front of you.

Steve and his mom at the beach.

You didn’t hear the sound of Eddie’s cry of pain when your attacker punched the wind out of him, you didn’t hear him run out of the room or Eddie’s footsteps after him, halting halfway and returning back to you. You kept thinking of Steve and his mom. She was so sweet. You really should spend more time with her.

All of that, led to now.

“Baby, baby, please, please, say something!” He panicked, knelt down at your legs, holding your arms to keep you upright, “Oh, God,” He took another look at your legs, covered in blood. “Oh, my god, Oh, my god.” He covered his mouth briefly, not knowing what to do. “Okay, okay,” He jumped up, running to the joining bathroom to grab a towel. “Okay, baby, I got this, see?” He started quickly wiping away at the blood, switching his eyes from his legs to you.

It looked like you’d been killed, or were dying. You said nothing, deathly pale, face stained with tears and mascara, deep bruising that painted your cheeks and eyes purple. Your lip was busted and bleeding. You were shaking with tremors, your breath coming out in little pants that were uneven. You were choking on your sobs, not a single one being allowed out. It hurt to sit, the pain in your abdomen was almost unbearable.

Eddie didn’t realize it himself, but he was also going in to shock. It became harder and harder to get the blood off of you due to his shaky hands, and his breathing become more sporadic and choppy. “I’m getting it, honey. I’m trying.” He said, words coming out in a rush. The towel was stained red when he’d finished, your legs still coated, stained by the blood from inside of you. He looked you over, shaking his head. He didn’t know what to do.

“Y/n,” He gasped, reaching up to grab your face. “Talk to me. Are you hurt? Where does it hurt at?”

You couldn’t look at him. It felt impossible. Your eyes were so heavy. His voice still sounded as if he were underwater, his movements slow, like he was fighting off a current, and you suddenly became freezing, trembling harder like you were out in the snow. Maybe it was the shock.

“Honey, please,” Eddie begged you, eyes tearing up. “I don’t know what to do.”

When he noticed how hard you were shaking, he jumped up and got a blanket from the chair, wrapping it around your body and sitting next to you. “Okay, here, I’m here. Steve!” His scream snapped you out of it, making you gasp and jump.

“No!” Your voice was hoarse, burning as you screamed. “No!” You tried to stand but you collapsed, pointing to the door. “Close the door! Close the door!”

Your urgency made him obey quickly, and he was slamming the door and locking it within a second. “Y/n-”

“You can’t tell anyone!” You sobbed, wobbling on your legs. You were a sight, one that would traumatize him for the rest of his life. “No one, swear it! Let’s just go home!” You we’re a wreck, sobbing, hyperventilating, shaking. Surely you would faint.

“Angel, baby,” He tried to approach you, but you freaked.

“No!” You jumped away. “Don’t- don’t touch me, please!” Was the room getting darker?

“Okay, okay,” He held up his hands, heart racing and bulging, fearful eyes. “I won’t touch you. I’ll stay right here, okay?”

You nodded, mouth opening and closing, feet shuffling, limping, trying to stay upright. Surely, you would faint.

•

His elbows are on his knees, hands pressed against his mouth. The chair he’s in is uncomfortable, an ache in his back that matches the one in his heart. Wayne is there, sitting across from him on the other side of the room. Steve, Nancy, Robin and Dustin are outside in the waiting room, along with the rest of hellfire. He tried to be discreet. Well no, that wasn’t true. When you’d fainted, Eddie lost it.

He’d swooped you up in his arms, carrying you down stairs, a sobbing mess, looking anywhere for anyone, to help. He found Mike first, then Chrissy Cunningham. The party was over very quickly.

“Eddie.” Wayne said tiredly, wearing a puffed, flannel coat. “Why don’t you go home, bud? I’ll stay with her.”

“No.” He didn’t miss a beat. He was staring a hole right through you, eyes so tearful they looked to be made of glass. “I can’t leave her.”

Wayne knew he wouldn’t leave. It was four in the morning, and you hadn’t shown any signs of life. If it weren’t for the machines, Eddie was sure you would have been dead. You were so quiet, not a stir, not a twitch. Were you dreaming? Was it good or a nightmare?

“She’s alright, buddy. You know that.” Wayne could see the telltale signs of his panic attack coming on. “You heard what the doctor said.”

You had abrasions along your vaginal walls. Your nose was broken, now covered with gauze and medical tape. You had two broken ribs, bruises covering your entire body. The doctor had asked him questions he didn’t know the answer to. Eddie knew what had happened, but what had really happened?

You would be okay. He knew that. You were alive and you survived. But were you okay? What would you become when you woke up? You would be totally traumatized, or would you simply move on with life? He knew the answer and he hated himself for knowing it. He knew the pain you were going to suffer when you woke up. He saw it. He saw what it was you would have to endure. A part of him wished you would sleep peacefully forever.

It felt like every vital organ inside of him had been ripped apart, like his stomach had been cut and everything spilled out. He’d thrown up twice since they got to the hospital. It been hours since you both got there. He couldn’t stop thinking about what he’d saw. Your body being used, abused by a man who had beaten you up, raped you, split you open and left bloody.

“Oh, god, Wayne.” Eddie broke down in sobs, shoulders sinking and face hiding into his hands for a shield, a mask to hide from the world. “This is all my fault.”

The image of you had scared his brain, the mental image something he thought he’d never be able to erase. Through everything he had gone through, this moment here, was the worst moment he had ever lived through, and he himself, would make a deal with god if he could, just to take your place, to take it all away. The love of his life was in pain, and it caused him more hurt than he could have ever imagined.

His uncle looked at him, saddened and distraught for the both of you. “Don’t say that, Eddie. You know she’d hate to hear you say somethin’ like that.”

Eddie’s body shook with heavy, deep and broken cries. “It is. I was asleep. I was asleep and stoned out of my mind while she was being raped right above me!” He practically spat the words with a venomous hatred, throwing out his arm as he looked at you longingly. “I failed her. Her, of all people. I fuckin’ failed the one thing I care about most. How the hell am I supposed to live with this?”

Wayne watched him stare at you, stare at you and cry like he was mourning for the entire world, like you had been taken from him.

“How are we supposed to be okay after this, Wayne?” He looked like a little boy then, looking over to his uncle with big, brown eyes. “How can I…how can she ever forgive me?” Another sob, and another. Wayne was sat beside him now, holding his shoulders as Eddie cried.

“You two have been through hell together.” The old man said, on hand on his nephews new. “You’ll get through this. She will and you will. She stood by your side when you were dying, remember? She helped you through it. It did you both in, but you got through it, didn’t you?

He didn’t answer, but he heard his uncle loud and clear. He didn’t know how he’d do it, but he’d help you in every way he could. He owed it to you. You’d patched him up, held him through nightmares and insecurities about his scars. You fed him, helped clothed him and helped him keep himself clean when he was still too sore to move around. You had put your own life on pause for him. He owed it to you to do the same. In his eyes, it was his own fault it happened, anyways.

“Yeah.” Eddie sniffled, wiping away his tears with his jacket. “Yeah, I- you’re right. You’re right. I can help her. I’ll help her. She’ll be okay.”

“She’ll be okay.” Wayne assured him.

He didn’t realize just how hard it was going to be, how a giant rift in your relationship would almost separate the two of you. That the both of you would be forever changed from that night.

Eddie gulped, blinking back tears as he looked at the steady beating of your heart in the vital screen. “She’ll be okay.”

#eddie munson #i will always take care of you #eddie munson x reader #stranger things #stranger things season four #joseph quinn #eddie munson imagines #eddie munson headcanons #eddie munson blurb #eddie munson x female character #female reader

[beauregardlionett]

did i rant to my friends about dorian and orym just to be called a simp? yes i did. and i'll do it again.

these two characters? consume my waking thoughts. because just fucking think about this from a timeline/literary point of view for a second with me.

orym lost his husband and his father-in-law (who he always calls dad because he didn't have a dad growing up) in a violent attack on his leader a while ago and whatever magic was used to kill them kept them dead - no reviving magic worked to bring them back. in the space of a single attack, he lost two of the most important people in his life, and now he's a widow who still mourns and loves in equal measure even while far from home trying to save the world. he loves even though he's scared of losing again.

dorian is a runaway heir to a title he never really wanted, a musician for himself, a charlatan hiding behind an easy smile, who has really only ever wanted to see the world in his own time and make real friends for once in his life. and he did that! all on his own! he was with the group at the beginning of the campaign but then they ran into his older brother who was in trouble and needed to lay low and dorian went with him, falling back on old instincts that family by blood comes first. he ran from the group and from the foundations he was building with them. because dorian has only ever run from the things that scare him. but now he's back, re-traced his frightened footsteps toward the daunting promise of tomorrow - not yet with the group, we're getting his side of the story first. and he even said it himself, that he ran from the group and now he's not sure why he did it, why he left, when he stands here now and realizes everything he wanted was already in front of him.

they have sending stones, a once a day chance to say something to each other in 25 words or less. they've been using them, keeping each other updated on where they are, that they're still alive, and kindling this flame even without dorian at the table, without even seeing each other, and liam has been carrying this torch alone for 78 episodes but damn it the flame is still lit regardless!

and orym always updates on their progress and location first, and with whatever words he has left he drops in a sentiment to remind dorian that they still care - that orym still cares. and orym is practical through and through, he's a strategist so he always always always uses his words wisely because he's so fucking limited by this spell but the last message he sent? he repeated himself, he admitted a weakness, he faltered.

he told dorian where they were. he asked if dorian could come their way. he admitted to struggling while his voice broke. he asked again but in a different way if dorian could come their way. he ended the message with the most heartbreaking "fuck, i miss you," i have ever heard in my life.

orym, the man who messaged dorian 52 episodes ago and said "glad you're not here, wish you were anyway." because they're constantly in danger, and he wouldn't wish that on dorian, but he still aches to have him near. orym, the man who confessed 13 episodes ago during a trial with his friends that he's lonely, that he misses dorian and sometimes he thinks it's okay and sometimes he doesn't - because he was married and is still mourning and how dare he have feelings for someone else? how dare he move on even when his husband would WANT him to be happy again? he indicated dorian was missed by everyone in three of his previous messages before the trial, before finally shifting to 'I, orym, me - it's me who misses you'.

and dorian, the one who replied to a message orym sent him with "stay steadfast, sending you fairer winds" in the most longing tone i have EVER heard. dorian, who kissed orym's forehead when they parted ways but that is the closest they have come to acknowledging whatever is between them. dorian, who has been to orym's home between exu and c3 and met orym's mom and knows about orym's husband.

when orym died 58 episodes ago, he went limp and the sending stone slipped out of his hand because he was trying to message dorian before he died, before he ran out of words and breath. before he was revived, there was a moment he stood in the beyond and saw his husband and he told orym "you're not done," and orym said "i really wish i could stay," and then his husband said "i'll still be here," and orym said, heartbroken, "oh, i miss you so bad."

he told dorian, "i've really missed you," and "fuck, i miss you." i miss you is orym's way of saying i love you.

they're so close. they are so close. and orym fully died 19 episodes after dorian left, but he was revived and then never told dorian via sending that happened. part of me wants dorian to find out and the other part hopes he never has to feel like he failed orym by leaving. because nothing could have changed that from happening, not even dorian.

they are so close to reuniting, orym has needed dorian back for WEEKS and he's so close. i'm begging them to hold on so they can hold each other again.

and, again, from a literary point of view, you know the wildest part about all of this?

none of it is scripted.

#cr #critical role #dorian storm #orym of the air ashari #dorym #writing #my writing #i guess???? idk simp rant or whatever #anyway. am i making a hell of a lot of assumptions about their dynamic? yes. #will i be stopping? n o p e #this ship hasn't sailed far but i'm clinging to the steering wheel regardless #i had to get this out of my brain so i could focus on finals

[ciaonicole85]

Part 1: What then?

Some seemingly innocent, but truly mind-altering information is shared in a staff meeting.

Short fan fic. Low-key Sydcarmy/The Bear fluff. Post-season 2. Canon-compliant.

Location: The Bear Time: 10:05 a.m.

The restaurant had closed lunch service on a Tuesday for a "Development Day". The Bear had been open for 5 months and had a 2 month wait list! After Family and Friends when they had all banded together the Bear crew had gotten tighter than ever. Carmen had been a outsider in his own restaurant for a couple weeks, but soon the dust settled. Even Sydney came around after 3 weeks of his patient groveling. The duo was good and soon The Bear had become one of Chicago Tribune's "Best New Restaurants." However, with success The Bear was changing fast. They had hired more full-time front and kitchen staff, which was great. The downside was that "respectful communication" and "customer complaint management" was waning a little. Things were not terrible, but Richie for whom Ever set the bar in hospitality, The Bear should always be improving, not sliding backwards. Natalie, Carmen and Sydney agreed. They also wanted to discuss new menu changes and a to-go system they would be testing soon.

"Okay, people! Let's get started" Natalie said beckoning everyone to take a seat at the front of house.

Richie stood next her "casually dressed" in a button down blue dress shirt and dark grey slacks.

He began, "As you know The Bear is on track to paying off the loan and we're the freakin' toast of the town right now, but this is not the time to take a nap. We gotta keep our eyes on the prize. So first, up facial regulation as known as RBF awareness."

Natalie tapped his shoulder and whispered, "Richie, I love your enthusiasm, but I thought we might start with an ice breaker?"

He shrugged and continued, "But Nat, has a ice breaker. Take it away".

Natalie resumed.

"So, first we want to thank each of you for being part of this dream and making it fun, rewarding, and successful. As you know The Bear is a family business and since there's new faces here we'd like to get to know you better and vice versa. We'll start with a quick round of "Best and Worst". Just pick a question out of the cup and answer it. Please keep your answers to 2 minutes."

The first question went to Randall, a young man in his early 20's with dark curly hair and thick glasses that frequently fogged in the humid kitchen. He was the new assistant pastry chef.

"What was the best place I ever lived? Hm…Guam. My dad, Army, was stationed on the base and I lived there from age 9-11. I had like 12 friends just on my block and we were always playing soccer, swimming, or riding our bikes. It was awesome."

"Thanks Randall!" Natalie chirped.

The next went to Tina.

"Ok…what is worst advice I've ever been given? Keep your head down and do what you know. That's the advice I used to give myself. Thankfully I didn't listen because now I'm a sous chef!"

Sydney who was sitting near the front between Gary and Carmy, beamed at Tina who returned the smile with a little moisture in her eyes.

The next question went to Marcus.

"Best moment in the last year? It was training at Noma, in Copenhagen. It was my first international trip. I got to stay in a houseboat, explore the city, meet cool people, and figure out that I wanted to do this maybe forever."

The last several months had been really hard due to Marcus's mom's passing. He had returned to work after a week of mourning citing that he knew she wouldn't want him to sit at home now that she was no longer sick. Despite that he was getting better every day and had come up with several new popular dessert specials. Tina was seated next to him and patted his arm.

The next few questions went to new dishwasher, Chris, Fak, and then Gary.

Sydney drew the next question and winced upon reading it. It wouldn't be possible to lie because Marcus already knew the truth.

"What was my best meal ever? Well…it was this pork confit with onions and rhubarb. Then after I had this dish called Milk and Honey."

She kept her eyes plastered onto the tiny strip of paper while she spoke. In her peripheral field she could see Carm turning slightly towards her, his cornflower blue eyes boring two holes into the side of her head.

"Sounds grand. Ok, Carmy pick a question" Richie ordered wanting to get down to business by 10:30am.

Carmy didn't seem to hear him. He was on another planet.

"Yo cuz, pick a question!"

He startled and drew a question.

"Uh ok. Best part of my day? Hmmm. Closing up."

It was now Sydney's soul's turn to exit her body. Every night, with few exceptions, she and Carmy ended the night in his office to debrief on the day, perform last checks, and close together.

After a moment she felt his eyes still glancing at her. Without turning she whispered, "Later." The last thing she needed was to look at him, and forget how much time was passing, giving Richie yet another reason to tease them. Not long ago he gave them matching copies of a workplace relationship etiquette tip sheet stapled to an OSHA industrial hygiene handout before leaving them to close.

She sighed, trying to compose herself. It was no big deal. So what that Carm knew he was responsible for the best thing she ever ate? Also, they're partner-friends so it's totally normal that his favorite time of day when is they are together…alone. Right?

UH OH.

#the bear #sydcarmy #sydney x carmy #carmy the bear #sydney adamu #carmen berzatto #carmy x sydney #carmy berzatto #syd adamu #fan fiction #it's a love story #brain rot #they are so cute #if they can just stare some more in season 3

[krash-8]

something something i am terribly sad for my age and i think it might be a little in my head, or uncalled for, or my hand on my friends pantry doorknob as she tells me i can eat whatever i want because we’re at her house now (which warms me inside more than i want to tell her, and that fact is starting to burn) or cookie dough i made for the first time in the middle of the night because it’s easy and people like it and it’s a way to say i love you without actually telling. im glad i know my way around a kitchen but im not too sure when i learned. i’m pretty good so long as i don’t leave the stove on; i’m forgetful when it matters but i remember when it counts. i’m not too sure when i learned.

i want to cook for you, and i want you to like it, and i want my head to stay calm when i think of my body and how I could be spending this time to fix my grades and I need to do better at a lot, and most of all i want to cook for you and i want you to like it and i want so hard to believe my kitchen is any kitchen where i open the pantry and feel like that’s fine. i want to feel like that's fine.

don’t you wish milk was cheaper, and eggs, and the water bill and the price of gas so we can leave? don’t you wish it was easier for a kid who isn’t quite right to get a job around here? don’t you wish the job could pay for any of that at all, or at least be something worth my time? i think I'd like to be somewhere near you for at least forever. I wish I was always sure you loved me back and I was able to manage to drop eggs one way or another without the end of the world. i can make myself useful and bring you something I worked on to prove i love you, and I promise I'm trying, I'm not sure for what, but I know I really really want to stick around so please please let me, and do you still mean the thing you said about me being able to eat from your pantry? when do you want me home? I love you, so I can make us something nice.

#food as a metaphor for love and the absence of it. basically. #yayyy poetry (I am so sad today) #krash poem #krash poems #(forget which tag i use 😭 #poets on tumblr #poems on tumblr #spilled poetry #spilled thoughts #tw eating issues #tw abandonment #abandonment issues #yayyy #im having a day #this poem has so many different meanings just btw #kinda proud of that ??? ig??? yeah I'll let myself be proud of that #not just what I tagged also

[kiwibeanv]

Cockblocked by a Ghost

Summary: Who would have known a ghost would ruin a night with Dazai. Fem! Reader.

Notes: I've been playing fatal frame 5 (so there will be references). Sudden idea. Thanks to @monoclesnapple for the editing.

Ever since you went to the mountain, the spirits followed you home. These past nights, you saw their misty specters wander your home. The random door slamming shut when you know you live alone. Soft whispers that make you look where they came from. Their appearances look awfully like the ones you repelled with your camera. The shrine maiden with gouged out eyes, the girl who cut her neck, and the lost souls that died in the mountain. The ways they died still plagued your mind, despite trying not to ponder on it. Those negative thoughts mixed in your head and nightmares became more frequent for you.

You decided to take a break from investigating the mountain for the sake of your mental health. Your café was calm and quiet which eased your mind at the familiarity of the routine. Dazai came in and took a seat at the counter near you. Ever since you met him when the ADA requested your assistance, he always came to your café first. His gaze landed on your face and he could see how pale you looked in combination with the eyebags.

"(Name)," He looked up at you with concern as he leaned over the counter. "My, my you look awful."

You rested your cheek on your hand. "I'm aware."

"Not getting enough rest? You know investigating at night does take a toll," He brought his hand near your arm where you held your face up. His index finger landed on your wrist and he let it glide down to your elbow. He made circular motions on that spot. He studied your expression and he noticed your eyes didn't make direct contact with his.

"Something bothering you?" Dazai asked.

"No it's nothing," You shook your head.

"Really? You didn't look like this before investigating," he pointed out. You let your gaze connect with his. This man is too good at reading people. A sigh escaped your lips.

"It's just all these visions from the spirits," you began. "The causes of their death. The pain they felt before their last breath. But that's not the worst part. They followed me home and it's hard to sleep at night. You know that they are more active at that time."

Dazai nods and took his hand from your arm. He brought it to his face to think.

"Don't you have another place to stay? Or did you try a hotel?" He asked.

You shook your head. "I don't. Nor do I want to spend my money at the hotel."

"Then why don't you stay at my place?" He offered with a grin. "It's free from spirits. You might get a better night of rest."

"Are you sure?" You asked. You didn't really want to make an inconvenience for him. "And if those spirits follow me?"

"Oh relax," he waved his hand off. "I think your ghosts are comfortable here. What ghost doesn't like the aroma of coffee and tea with an elegant home of yours connected to it?"

"Well I really don't want to burden you if that comes to it," you warn as you lifted your head from your hand.

"It's no burden for me!" He assured, placing his hand on his chest. "Besides, I get to have a lovely, gifted woman at my home who can fight spirits."

He takes your hands and his eyes glimmered at you. "My home is absolutely safe and sound~ And you are welcome to stay more nights if you need."

"Uh…" His offer sounded appealing to you. A break from your haunted home to finally get a good night. If the spirits stayed at your home, you don't have to worry about those lingering memories. "Sure. I will take your offer," you replied.

Dazai's lips curled upwards as if proud. After that agreement, you went to pack your things. All the things you need to stay for several nights, while he went back to prepare a space for you.

For a few nights, you were getting accustomed to the arrangements. He allowed you to take the bed while he took the couch. You didn't have vivid nightmares anymore. You finally had a moment of peace. After you settled down, Dazai started getting touchy. You had an idea of his tendencies with women due to Chuuya letting you know one time during your investigation in finding the two ladies. Little does Dazai know, Chuuya gave his number to you first. Chuuya offered it in case you ever had questions about Dazai or, if he hurt you, he could hunt him down and give him a piece of his mind.

However, you felt a mutual connection with Dazai. His touches didn't bother you, his compliments made you feel better about yourself, and there was something attracting you to Dazai like a hummingbird to nectar. Slowly you started to reciprocate his gestures to hint your liking towards him.

On this night, this time you asked if Dazai would like to share the bed with you.

"Yes! I would love to accompany you!" He answered with excitement. You lead him to the dark room, not even bothering to turn on the lights. It was night time anyways so sleep will be inevitable. His hand held yours as you pulled him to bed. Dazai slipped under the covers with you. He felt so close to you. His hand squeezed yours and you reciprocated.

You both faced each other in this quiet moment. Your eyes never leaving his, almost trying to look at his soul. He scooted a little closer to you. Though he didn't want to invade your space. But, you wanted something to happen.

You cupped his cheek with you hand and leaned in to connect your lips with his. His heart raced at your move and he kissed you intensely. You adjust your positions so the two of you found a comfortable position for the kissing. Lips demanded more contact. Tongues danced in passion. A yearning for touch of skin. His hand went under the hem to feel your side. The heat was rising between the two of you. But just before he could move his hand up, a faint knock on the door was heard. Both of you stopped for the moment. Dazai got up to check the door. What puzzled him was that he thought he heard the knock on the bedroom door, not the front. Still, he went to check if there was a visitor. There was no one.

"Huh, could have been a kid," he sighed and went back to you. "Now, lets get that pretty little clothes off you. Will you~?" He smirked. The makeout session resumed with the addition of slowly getting the outer layers off. It felt too hot anyways. Dazai was taking it slow for you. The build up was too fun to let go. He got on top of you and met your lips again.

When your lips parted from his, you saw a faint white mist in the corner of your eye. It disappeared when you centered your gaze at it. Dazai raised his brow, concerned if you were hesitating now. "Everything okay? We don't have to continue if you don't want to," he asked.

"No, I just thought I saw something," you shook your head, placing your attention back on him. Before either of you could do anything, you had a feeling of being watched.

"You have all windows and doors closed and covered, right?" You asked.

He looked at you with a raised eyebrow. Dazai didn't like vague hints for moments like this. He wanted your full consent. "Yes? If you're trying to make excuses, don't bother. Just say you don't want-" A loud bang interrupted him.

This made him got off you to get on guard. As for you, you had a feeling that a spirit must have found its way here. The signs were all there. Mysterious sounds, the odd white thing, and the feeling of being monitored.

He crept to the door which was only opened slightly. He tried to see through the crack but he met eyes wide as saucers. He flinched back but the face disappeared.

"So uh… about your ghost problem…"

You let out a disappointed sigh. "I did warn you about this possibility."

"Oh yeah…" Dazai looked away. "So will it attack us in our sleep?"

"Maybe yes, maybe no. Though, I did bring my camera in case it does," you replied.

"Right… let's get whatever sleep we can get."

Dazai joined you in bed again but this time, he kept his hands mostly to himself. The only thing he did was wrap his arms around you. There was just too many cockblocks to kill the mood. It was awkward to sleep in the same bed with arousal running in both your veins, but you didn't want any more disturbances or audiences. The spirit was relatively active. A few bumps in the night, some chilling whispers, but nothing more.

The next day, Dazai was in a dejected mood after the events of the night prior. He still goofed around, but when he was sitting still, his vibe wasn't necessarily joyful or anything usual.

Eventually, Chuuya found out about what occurred, and he was just cackling at the thought. He came up to you and took a deep breath to compose himself.

"Listen- I can get you a good exorcist," he lets out a chuckle before calming down. "Whoever you want, I'll get, or I can just get a random priest to handle it. If ya don't wanna go back home yet, I can offer my place so you don't have to go to Dazai. It's so much better than that stinky mackerel's and I got better food."

He leans in close to you and mutters with a smirk on his face, "Besides, dogs are more fun to be with than fish."

#bungo stray dogs x reader #dazai x reader #osamu dazai #osamu dazai x you #dazai x you #dazai x fem reader #osamu dazai x reader

[maximoffcarter]

Your type.

Pairings: Casey Novak x Alex Cabot.

Summary: Alexandra Cabot was known as the top of her class and the good girl of Law School. Casey Novak was known as the famous softball player and the tomboy of Law School. Both meeting each other at a coffee shop, both in different stages of their lives. Would it work?

A/n: I needed to do some kind of college au for our babies. I thought it was cute, so here is my creation of it hahaha. I dunnp if it's any good or not, but I enjoyed writing this, it's been a while since I've done a college au, they used to be my favorites before haha. Hope you guys enjoy this, leave comments, hearts, whatever you like and reblog so this gets some love🫶🏻

*not my gif*

Alexandra Cabot was top of her class. Many selfish and jealous people thought that she was the best just because she was a known person because of her last name. But the truth was that Alex was dedicated to school, she had always been, since she can remember; she spent her free days with books, she loved them. It wasn’t entirely a lie that her family had influenced her in getting into law school, but she was happy with her decision, and she was going to do anything to get to her goals, meaning, she wouldn’t let anything distract her from getting what she wanted. She was probably the only person in her class that didn’t go to parties or gatherings with her classmates, she didn’t go to the games the school held, she just focused on her studies. Did she regret it? Maybe. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to have a social life, she had her friend, but she knew that university was not about parties.

For two whole years it stayed that way, nothing had changed her mind, and she was still very much focused on her studies; that was until her eyes landed on a redhead. One of her classes had gotten canceled, meaning she had 2 hrs free to do whatever she wanted; so she decided to finish homework she had. She had thought about going to the library, but she decided she’d go for a coffee near her building, and she’d spend the two hours there. This was a coffee shop that she normally visited every now and then when she wanted to be at the library, the coffee, and the food in there was really good, and the environment was actually calm, and it helped her concentrate on the things she had to do. But as she sat down in her usual spot and looked around, she noticed a redhead taking an order. She had never seen her here, clearly, because she’d remember that beautiful smile. For a moment she was too stunned by how beautiful she was, she had stared way too longer that she didn’t notice her friend sitting right in front of her.

“Alex?”

Alex snapped out of her thoughts and stared at her friend. “H-Hi! Sorry. I uh…when did you get here?”

Erin chuckled. “I’ve been here for like 3 minutes. How long have you been staring at the redhead?” She grinned as she got her notebook and book out of her bag.

“I- what do you mean?” Alex chuckled nervously. “I was not staring at anyone, just…a bit lost. Thinking what I’m ordering.”

“Uhuh…as if you never order the same, Cabot.” Erin chuckled. “But okay, I’ll believe you. What are you ordering?” She raised her brow.

Alex sighed as she grinned. “Black coffee and a chocolate croissant.”

Erin laughed. “See? Why is it wrong that I caught you staring at the redhead? She’s really pretty.”

Alex shrugged. “I have never seen her here before.”

“She hasn’t been here for long. I saw her the day I came to buy us coffee. I think I heard she’s a law student too.”

Alex raised her brow. “Law student?” She nodded. “I can actually see that.” She said almost in a whisper as she got her things out.

“Alexandra Cabot is getting interested in someone after two years.” Erin smirked.

Alex looked up and shook her head rapidly. “I- Erin no! I just- I was-“

“Hi ladies! My name is Casey, can I offer you anything to drink or eat?” Casey smiled at both of them and then her eyes landed on Alex’s.

Alex cleared her throat as she looked up at Casey, trying to talk but all of a sudden, she forgot how to do that. Erin wanted to laugh but cleared her throat too, getting Casey’s attention. “I’ll get an iced latte with sugar please. And to eat, I’ll just get a muffin.” She then looked at Alex. “Alex? What are you ordering?”

“I- uh…black coffee and a croissant, please.” Alex offered a shy smile.

Casey grinned as she nodded. “Comin’ right up.” She then walked away, but not before she turned to look at Alex again, offering a smile.

Erin laughed and threw her head back. “Oh my, I never thought I’d live to see the day of seeing Alexandra Cabot getting nervous for someone! So.” She looked back at Alex. “Is your type redheads?”

“Jesus, Erin, drop it.” Alex sighed as she covered her face, blushing. “Let’s just-“ she sighed as she looked back at Erin. “Let’s get this done, we have class, and we need to hurry.”

“Avoiding. It is true that you always learn something new from people.” Erin chuckled teasingly as she opened her book.

Alex bit her lip as she looked at Erin for a moment, and then she turned her head to look at Casey. She had come out to Erin just a year ago, admitting that she had always been attracted to girls, but she never said a thing because she didn’t think it was relevant, but when Erin asked if she wanted to go on a double date with some guys, Alex thought it would be good to let Erin know that she was not into guys. She was relieved when Erin accepted her and never judged her, it was the other way around, actually, she was pretty much trying to get a date for Alex in every possible chance, but Alex refused reminding her that she only cared about school and not some dumb romance in university. But now…she had to admit that maybe a little crush on someone wouldn’t hurt. She didn’t actually have a type, she didn’t know if she did. But until now, all she knew, is that Casey could be her type.

********************

Alex sighed as she tried to keep her mind concentrated in the book she had in front of her, she was studying for finals and Erin was supposed to meet her at the coffee shop so they could study together, but at the end plans had changed and now Alex sat at her same spot, trying to focus on her book and hoping to not get distracted with the redhead. She didn’t even know if she worked that day, but the last time she had been going to the coffee shop, Casey was right there, and even if there was someone else taking orders, Casey was always the one that took their order. What Alex had been trying to avoid had happened; she had accepted to herself that she had a crush on Casey. She had been trying to avoid it, she had been trying to not think about her, but it was impossible after learning that she was also a law student, she was in her first year, so it’s not like they’d ever have same classes, but she had caught her in the hallways every now and then.

How did she know about this? Because of course Erin was encouraging her crush. She teased her every possible chance she had. She had also found out that Casey was in the softball team of the university, and it honestly made sense with how beautiful her body was. Alex tried hard to not think about Casey and about the new information that Erin had provided her, but in the last 4 months, it was kind of impossible not to think about Casey. That smile, those eyes, that voice. Alex was now lost, and she knew it. There was no turning back from this, unless of course, she tried to get over it or she found out that Casey had a boyfriend or something, which could break her heart…break her heart was probably too much. But she would feel sad? She was confused to say the least. It was just a stupid crush. That was it. A crush.

“Alex!”

Alex looked up from her book and her heart stopped for a moment as she stared at Casey, who was smiling at her. “Casey…hi.”

“You remember my name!” Casey chuckled softly.

How could I not remember it? “Yes, I do.” Alex chuckled. “You’re not working today?”

“Oh, I worked earlier. But I have finals, so they let me leave early. I actually just finished my shift and was going to stay around to study.” Casey smiled as she looked at Alex’s book. “I take it that you’re also studying.”  

Alex looked down at her book and smiled. “Yes…I uh…I am.” She looked back at Casey. “I’m just reading again, I already studied.” She chuckled nervously.

“Well, I’ve heard that you’re top of your class, so I believe you’re more than ready for any exam.” Casey grinned.

“You’ve…heard about me.” Alex frowned as she smiled.

“A little, yes.” Casey smiled. “I’m sorry I don’t wanna take your time. I- oh! I brought you this.” Casey placed a coffee and a small bag beside it. “Some encouragement to study.” She grinned.

Alex looked at the coffee and the small bag and smiled. “Is that…”

“Black coffee and a chocolate croissant. You always order the same.” Casey smiled. “I’ll see you around?”

Alex nodded. “Hey…do you…maybe want some help with studying? You can sit with me if you want to.”

Casey smiled. “Really?”

Alex nodded again. “Sure.”

“I’d actually appreciate that.” Casey smiled as she placed her backpack on the floor and sat down in front of Alex.

Alex knew that this wouldn’t really help her crush, but at this point, who really cared about it? She was going down, bad, and she knew it. Casey had heard about her, she knew her name, she had even learned her order. And the funny thing was that the very first time she met Casey, she had brought her a plain croissant because Alex had not mentioned she wanted a chocolate one, but suddenly Casey started bringing her the right order, and now she learned it, and even if it seemed nothing, it was everything to Alex. But then her mind started playing tricks on her. Why would someone like Casey want to be with Alex? Even hang out with her? It was surprising enough that Erin was her friend, they were totally different but similar at the same time, but they were able to build a close friendship. But Casey, she was younger by two years, but why would she find any interest in Alex? She was probably just being friendly, maybe she just wanted to know people who were older to have some sort of help in school, but the reality was that Alex didn’t care. The thought of helping Casey and being able to spend time with her made her feel good. This was so wrong, but she didn’t care.

********************

“Where are we going?” Alex asked as she sighed, crossing her arms as she waited for Erin.

Erin smiled as she walked to Alex, closing her closet. “We’re going to a softball game.”

Alex frowned. “We never go to those, Erin.”

“Now we are.” Erin grinned as she handed Alex a shirt with the softball team logo.

Alex stared at it and then realized what Erin was doing. “Erin.” She looked up at her. “No.

“Alex. Yes.” Erin smirked as she threw Alex the shirt. “C’mon, we’re gonna be late.”

“You made me come all the way here so you can embarrass me and take me to a game. Casey’s game.” Alex grabbed the shirt from her shoulder, looking down at it.

“It’s just a game! You get to see Casey play. You’re gonna tell me you don’t wanna see her.” Erin smirked as she turned to grab the rest of her stuff.

Alex sighed as she took off her hoodie and put the shirt on. “You’re gonna pay for this.”

Erin laughed. “You’re gonna tell me you haven’t been spending more time at the coffee shop.” She turned to look at Alex. “Oh, wait. With Casey, actually.”

Alex frowned. “I…haven’t.”

“Oh, yes you have. I saw you two days in a row, sitting with her.”

“I was helping her study!”

“So you introduced yourself?” Erin raised her brows.

Alex cleared her throat as she looked down at her hoodie. “She heard about me and knew my name…” she whispered softly as she looked up at Erin.

Erin smirked. “Oh, someone’s got a crush on you.”

Alex rolled her eyes. “Can’t we just go? Please.”

Erin chuckled. “Fine, let’s go.”

As they got to the field, Erin tried to get them to good stands so they could get a perfect look of the game. Erin went crazy buying food and snacks, but Alex was truly nervous that she’d be seeing Casey playing. In one of their meetings, Casey had talked about her playing softball and the training she had, which meant that she barely had any time to do anything at all, between school, work and practice, her days were pretty busy. So the fact that she had stayed hours with Alex meant everything to her, even if they had been mostly studying the whole time. Alex looked around as she sat down, her eyes suddenly landing on the redhead who was stretching. Her breath hitched as she noticed the tight uniform and how it hugged her body perfectly; she wanted to give herself a slap as she was focusing on her body, which was definitely not right. Her eyes went back to Casey’s face, and to her luck, Casey was already staring at her, a smile on her face as she waved. Alex blushed slightly as she waved back, smiling back at her.

Eventually, the game finally started, everyone around them screaming and clapping for the team. She didn’t even know what was supposed to happen in the game, but she was willing to stay focused for Casey. Erin tried to instruct her what was happening, but even if she tried to listen to Erin, she really didn’t understand a thing. Finally, Casey put on her helmet and grabbed her bat, earning loud screams as she walked to her base. Alex’s eyes lit up as she looked at Casey, smiling as she positioned herself; she had seen some baseball games with her father before, and so far, she knew that Casey’s team was winning, and if she hit a…homerun? Something. They’d win the whole game. Or that’s what her mind made up. She couldn’t help but scream and stand up when Casey started running fast around all the bases, the whole crowd going insane screaming Casey’s name. Erin and Alex jumped and screamed together as Casey’s team surrounded to celebrate the win, everyone cheering for them and throwing food and water. Alex’s eyes focused on Casey for a moment, and her smile slowly faded as she noticed a girl hugging Casey and placing her hand on Casey’s cheek, leaning in to kiss her cheek. Alex cleared her throat and looked at Erin, offering a small smile as her heart sank.

Alex had asked Erin if they could already leave, not wanting to stay there anymore, even if it meant that they’d lose the celebration and the team. Erin had drunk a lot of soda and water, so Alex was waiting for her outside the restrooms, wrapping her hoodie around her waist and crossing her arms as she looked around. A bunch of people kept celebrating and screaming, running around, and jumping. Alex never understood sports, and she couldn’t believe that Erin had convinced her to come just to have her heart hurt at the sight of another girl kissing Casey. She sighed softly, rubbing her face, and groaning softly.

“Alex!”

Alex uncovered her face and her heart stopped for a second as she saw Casey running to her. “Hey.”

Casey smiled widely as she stood in front of Alex. “Hi. I’m so glad I caught you. I wanted to say hi since I saw you at the start of the game.”

Alex cleared her throat. “Oh. Uh. Well hi.” She smiled. “Congratulations, by the way. Good game.”

Casey chuckled as she looked at the ground for a moment. “Thanks.” She looked back at Alex. “I didn’t think Alex Cabot was a sports girl.”

Alex huffed a laugh. “I am not.” She shook her head. “But uh, my friend Erin, she dragged me here. I’m waiting for her so we can go.”

Casey nodded. “Oh, got it.” She smiled. “Hey, uh. So…later we’re throwing a small celebration party, since this was the last game of the season. I was wondering…if you wanted to come.”

Alex stared at Casey for a moment, thinking that maybe she had heard wrong. “Uh…a party?”

“Yes.” Casey smiled. “I mean I don’t normally go to these parties, but you know, we won, thought it could be fun for once. I don’t really have to work tomorrow so. And I was actually going to call you, you saved me a phone call.”

Alex smiled softly. “So…even if I didn’t come…you were going to invite me?”

Casey shrugged. “Why not?” She grinned.

Alex nodded. “I uh…well, I don’t normally go to any parties. I don’t…really get invited but uh-“

“We’re definitely going!” Erin said as she walked out of the restrooms, smiling at Alex and then at Casey. “That’s if I’m invited too? If not, I’ll drop of Alex.” She grinned.

“Of course! I mean, the team is inviting a lot of people so.” Casey chuckled. “So, yes?”

Alex looked back at Erin and then at Casey, smiling as she nodded. “Sure. Where?”

Casey’s smile widened. “Uh…Tina’s house. Back Bay area, there’s going to be a big sign outside the building, so you won’t miss it. I can call you later and tell you the right address.”

“Sounds good.” Alex smiled.

Casey nodded. “Alright, I’ll see you then. Bye Erin.” She smiled before she walked away.

Erin’s mouth opened in surprise as she turned to look at Alex. “Alexandra Cabot going to her very first university party! Oh my! We gotta find you a perfect dress!”

Alex rolled her eyes as she sighed, turning to look at Erin. “Don’t get too excited, Er. I think I saw a girl kissing Casey’s cheek.” She started to walk, trying to hide the excitement she felt.

Erin frowned. “Oh, c’mon, Alex.” She followed her. “That doesn’t mean anything! I kiss you on the cheek too, doesn’t mean we’re dating.”

“I know but…” Alex scoffed. “Why would Casey Novak be interested in someone like me? Like seriously. I’m older than her, I’m…literally a nerd.”

Erin raised her brow. “You do realize that it’s obvious that younger people are fascinated by people of our ages. Plus, it’s two years. And!” She jumped in front of Alex to stop her. “You’re not the only nerd. Casey is top of her class.” She grinned.

Alex frowned. “What?”

“Uhuh. Laura was telling me the other day. We go to the same hair salon, and she was talking about how Casey was the smartass in their class. So her asking you to help her study? Yeah, that was definitely just to spend time with you, Cabot.” Erin smirked.

Alex shook her head as she tried to hide her smile. “Okay…even if she wanted that. I still don’t think she’d be interested in me.” She shrugged. “So…this. The party? It’s just a party and that’s it.”

Erin rolled her eyes. “If you say so. But. We’re still gonna dress you nicely. Comfortable. But nicely. If Novak doesn’t lay eyes on you tonight, we’re getting you someone else. Maybe we can get another redhead.” She smirked.

“Fine.” Alex grinned as she rolled her eyes.

********************

“You’re not gonna leave me alone, are you?” Alex asked as they walked to the house, looking at Erin.

Erin looked back at Alex and smiled. “I believe you’ll leave me at some point. But no, and if you want to go, we can go. Promise I won’t drink much.” She chuckled.

Alex sighed as she nodded. They walked inside the house and Alex was pretty surprised to find a big crowd, the music was a bit loud and there was barely any lights. Erin took her hand so they wouldn’t get lost in the crowd, trying to get to the middle of the house or somewhere where they could actually move and hear each other. They finally got to what seemed to be the living room, people were dancing and drinking, some were playing with the cups, some were making out. So this is what a university party was like, Alex was really not missing anything, this was just a mess and they seemed horny teenagers. In every single part, there were about 2 or 3 couples just making out. She thought that she only saw this in movies but no, it was pretty much real, and she was sure more people were upstairs, and she did not want to figure out what they were doing up there.

As she looked around the room, she saw Casey’s team gathered around in a corner, laughing and with drinks in their hands, and then there was Casey right in the middle. She smiled softly but then her smile fainted again as she saw the girl from earlier right beside Casey, her arm wrapped around her shoulder. Alex knew she had no point in getting jealous, but she was. But then Casey’s eyes landed on her, and Alex swore her smile widened as she saw Alex; she didn’t know if she had imagined it or not, but Casey’s eyes traveled down her body, and she nibbled on her lip as she started walking to Alex; she was thankful that she had let Erin dress her, Alex normally liked wearing nice clothes, but the skirt and the blouse along with the long boots that Erin had picked for her, were showing a little too much, but if that was getting Casey’s attention, then she didn’t mind one bit.

Her breath hitched as Casey got closer to her, her eyes also traveling down Casey’s body; Erin had joked before about Alex being into girls that didn’t exactly dressed girly, she had now seen Casey wearing her softball uniform, she had seen her wearing a skirt with a blazer for a presentation, her work uniform, and casual Casey. Party Casey looked like those girls from movies who were the ones that ruled over people, with a leather jacket, jeans and boots, and Alex couldn’t skip the shirt she was wearing, that showed Casey’s cleavage.

“I thought I’d have to call you to make sure you were coming.” Casey grinned as she stood in front of Alex. “You look nice.” She whispered softly but enough for Alex to hear her.

Alex chuckled nervously as she blushed. “You look nice too.”

Erin cleared her throat as she smiled at both women. “I’ll see myself out for a bit.” She grinned as she walked away, going to Casey’s friends.

Casey chuckled. “Can I offer you a drink?”

“I uh…I actually don���t drink that much.” Alex bit her lip as she looked at Casey.

“Oh, such a good girl, Cabot.” She grinned. “They have nonalcoholic drinks too. We can go to the kitchen to check.” Before Alex could answer, she grabbed her hand and pulled her to the kitchen, walking through the crowd.

Alex tried to stay as calm as possible, and then thought that a drink wouldn’t hurt, it could actually help her calm her nerves. Once they got to the kitchen, she stood close to Casey and smiled. “Actually, a drink wouldn’t hurt.”

Casey turned to look at Alex and smiled. “I can mix some vodka with soda or juice so it’s not too strong.”

“Whatever you drinking.” Alex grinned.

Casey couldn’t help but stare into her eyes, grinning softly. “You look beautiful with or without glasses, you know?”

Alex’s breath hitched again as she stared into green eyes. “Your eyes are beautiful.” She smiled.

Casey bit her lip as she smiled. “Thanks.” She then cleared her throat as she grabbed the drinks she was going to mix and two cups.

Alex looked around trying not to stare too much at Casey, and noticed Erin staring at her, a smirk on her face. She shook her head, a quiet laugh leaving her lips. She returned her stare to Casey once she saw her raising the cup and handing it to her. “Thank you.”

“Of course.” Casey smiled as she grabbed her own drink and took a sip of it. “So, is this really your first party?” She leaned over the counter.

“You said it, I’m a good girl.” Alex smirked as she huffed a chuckle. “I uh…I focus a lot on school. I rather keep myself busy with studying or with books.” She shrugged. “I don’t know…I was just never an extrovert.”

Casey nodded. “I get that. I mean…these parties can get pretty crazy.” She chuckled. “I normally don’t come to these, and if I do, I literally leave early.”

Alex tilted her head. “I thought you were one of those athletic girls that liked to party and be a heartbreaker.” She grinned. “But I heard you’re also sort of a nerd.”

Casey blushed slightly as she looked at Alex. “I uh…I mean…yes, I just.” She huffed a chuckle. “Who told you?”

“Oh, a little bird.” Alex smirked. “So, you asking me for help…?” She raised her brow.

Casey shrugged. “Maybe I just…wanted to have an excuse to talk to you.” She grinned as she tilted her head, green eyes never leaving blue ones.

Alex knew she was probably blushing, but she couldn’t look away from Casey, she could stare at her for as long as she possibly could. “Nice excuse.” She simply said.

They stayed in the kitchen for a little longer than they expected, finding that it was the most quiet place in the whole house, and they just wanted to talk. They were talking about everything but nothing specific at the same time, just making each other smile and laugh. Even if Alex hated the fact that there were a lot of people surrounding them, she loved that she was with Casey, and that she was actually willing to stay with her. But then there was a moment where they literally dragged Casey away from Alex, and Casey made sure to tell her that she’d be back with her as soon as possible. Alex just watched her being dragged away and back into the living room, leaving her a bit sad but also understood that this was a party for them after all. Her eyes finally landed on Erin who was already walking to her, a smirk plastered on her face.

“I see you’re having a good conversation with Novak. Guess we won’t have to find you anyone else.” Erin smirked.

Alex rolled her eyes playfully. “We’re just talking, Er. Nothing more.”

“You’re seriously still in denial that she’s interested in you.” Erin chuckled. “You’re literally perfect, Alex. You’re top of your class, you’re beautiful, you’re nice. Damn, you’re a good girl, anyone would want to have you.”

Alex chuckled as she took a sip of her drink, trying to hide her smile behind her cup. “She did mention that.”

Erin raised her brow. “That you’re a good girl?” Alex nodded. “She does not lose time.” She chuckled softly.

“Well, I think I lost her for tonight. So, whatever was happening between us, is over.”

“Don’t lose hope, Cabot. She could come back any time soon. They’re just doing the typical winning ritual.”

Alex frowned as she looked back at Erin. “Ritual?”

“They take shots, depending on the score they made.”

Alex raised her brows. “Is that even safe?”

Erin shrugged. “Not sure, but don’t be too surprised if your little redhead comes back all drunk.” She chuckled as she took a sip of her drink.

Alex sighed. “I guess.”

“Everybody!” Tina got up on the table in the living room, getting everyone’s attention as they turned the music down. “Those who want to play the bottle, gather around! We got drinks and dares!”

Erin turned to look at Alex. “Let’s go play.”

Alex frowned. “No way. I don’t want to have the bad luck of having to kiss some drunk person.”

“And what if that drunk person turns out to be Casey?” Erin smirked as she grabbed Alex’s hand and pulled her to the living room. “Count us in!”

Alex sat beside Erin and sighed as she looked at the people that gathered around. She was sure that these people were either the ones that were way too drunk, or were somewhere in the middle, and the rest just decided to ignore it or were too into their own things. Her eyes landed on Casey for a moment who was in front of her and laughing with Tina as the people started to play. The first few rounds were stupid things like ‘take off your shirt’ ‘drink two shots’ ‘kiss this person on the cheek’, making Alex realize that these people were a bunch of teenagers and couldn’t believe that most of them -if not all- were law students. She couldn’t help but laugh the moment the bottle landed in Erin, and it so happened that the other side landed on one of Casey’s friends, who dared her to go to a room with her. Alex’s eyes widened as Erin agreed, telling her that they had to loosen up, and then followed the girl. She was too distracted as she saw in surprised how they disappeared, but her attention was brough back when she heard yelling and clapping, her eyes landing in the bottle who was pointing at her, and the other end happened to be on Casey.

“Cabot and Novak!” Alex’s lips parted as she tried to say something, but right away Tina spoke up again. “Since Alex doesn’t know what to say, I dare you two to seven minutes in heaven!” Everyone started cheering on.

“What?” Alex simply said, her eyes landing on Casey who was already standing up, chuckling, and telling Tina something. She shook her head and walked to Alex, extending her hand to help her get up.

“C’mon.” Casey offered a sweet smile.

Alex gulped but grabbed Casey’s hand, standing up and following her upstairs. She could hear everyone yelling and clapping, some of them screaming both Alex and Casey’s names as they went up the stairs. Before she knew it, she was being pulled into a room, and as she looked around, she was sure that this was Tina’s room. She cleared her throat as she turned to look at Casey who was closing and locking the door, leaning her back on it as she looked at Alex, smiling softly.

“Casey…”

“We don’t have to do anything.” Casey smiled.

“Are you- seriously?”

Casey chuckled. “Seriously. I sat down there for Tina, it’s just a stupid game.” She shook her head. “And…I hate having to force people into doing something they don’t want to.”

Alex cleared her throat. “What can you get done in seven min, anyway?” She chuckled.

Casey shrugged as she laughed. “I’ve never been in this situation. But I do know you can do something. Make out maybe.”

Alex stared at her for a moment, biting her lip softly. “And would you?”

Casey frowned. “Would I what?”

“Want to make out with me.” Alex snapped.

Casey wetted her lips, her lip lingering between her teeth as she stared at Alex. “I might be a little drunk but…definitely.” She walked to Alex slowly, stopping just in front of her. “Would you?” She whispered softly.

Alex’s breath hitched as she stared up at Casey. She knew she was tall, and probably the boots that Casey was wearing made her a little taller, and she herself was tall, but she loved the fact that she had to look up at Casey. She bit her lip for a moment as she thought about her answer; she knew she had to think fast, the seven minutes could end any time soon. She nodded softly as grinned, and suddenly Casey’s hands were on her waist, and she leaned down to close the gap between them. Alex’s hand went to Casey’s neck to pull her impossibly closer to her, their lips moving against each other’s just perfectly.

Before her mind could register what was happening, Casey was pulling her to her and turned her around to press Alex against the door, Alex moaning against Casey’s mouth which gave Casey’s tongue access to dive in. Alex’s hand got lost in Casey’s short her, pulling her impossibly closer. Casey’s hands rubbed Alex’s sides, accidentally making Alex’s blouse rise up and she took the chance to make contact with Alex’s skin. They finally broke from the kiss, both panted heavily, but as Alex opened her eyes to look at Casey, Casey’s lips landed on her jawline, throwing her head back against the door as a quiet moan left her lips. Casey trailed kisses down Alex’s jawline to her neck, kissing and nibbling softly, she then looked up again to kiss Alex again, and just as her hand traveled down Alex’s hip, a loud knock on the door made them part away from each other.

“Seven minutes are over guys! Get your clothes on!”

Alex panted heavily as she looked at the door for a moment and then her eyes returned to Casey. She couldn’t help but chuckle at herself as she figured she was now part of those horny teenagers she was judging when she got to the party. Casey ran her hand through her hair as she grinned, looking down at the floor as she tried to hide the redness on her cheeks.

“We should uh-“ Alex cleared her throat as she fixed her blouse. “We should probably…”

Casey nodded. “Yes.” She chuckled as she looked up at Alex. “We should go back.”

Alex nodded, offering a shy smile. As she turned to open the door, she felt Casey’s hand on her wrist, bringing her attention back to Casey. Casey’s hand went to Alex’s neck and pulled her close to her, kissing her lips slowly and tenderly, as if they had all the time in the world. Their lips once again met in a perfect rhythm, making Alex’s stomach turn in a good way. Casey then smiled against her lips, pecking them once more before she pulled away.

“Now we can leave.” Casey grinned.

Alex nodded. “Sure.” She breathed out as she smiled, accepting Casey’s hand in hers.

Alex felt everyone’s eyes on her as they walked down the stairs, but her eyes were only focused on Casey. Casey never let go of her hand, walking back to the kitchen, both quietly deciding that they didn’t want to be involved in the game anymore. Alex tried to find Erin for a moment before she brought her attention back to Casey, smiling softly.

“I’ll get you something to drink.” Casey smiled.

“Can I just get some water, please?” Alex smiled.

Casey nodded. “Sure. I need to sober up a little.” She chuckled as she kissed Alex’s hand before she went to find more cups.

Alex sighed happily as she watched Casey moving around the kitchen. The smile never leaving her smile as she leaned against the countertop, but her moment was interrupted as she felt a hand on her shoulder, making her turn thinking that it was maybe Erin. And then she frowned as she found the girl she had been previously jealous of right in front of her.

“Hi?” Alex offered a small smile.

“You really think you got Casey just because you got seven minutes in a room with her? You’re not Casey’s type. We know who you are, Cabot.”

Alex frowned as she shook her head. “What is that supposed to mean?”

“You’re daddy’s girl. I’m sure you’re in school just because of your last name, and if you think you’re gonna get Casey, you’re very wrong. I might’ve let Casey have her fun tonight, but she’s normally always with me. Casey belongs to me.”

“I can definitely tell. Because she’s been with you the whole party, huh?” Alex raised her brow, giving her a defying stare as she crossed her arms.

The girl laughed as she shook her head. “Just because your friend dressed you up for tonight and you got read of your glasses, doesn’t mean you can take Casey. Didn’t you hear? She was supposed to get your attention, a bet was made.”

Alex frowned. “What?”

“Oh, you really think Casey was interested in you? Please. Look at you and look at her. Gotta say that you left it pretty easy for her to win the bet. So congrats to you too. Maybe if Casey chooses, she’ll give you half of the money, but you don’t need it, do you?” The girl smirked as she walked away.

Alex suddenly felt lightheaded as the words played in her mind over and over; she had to be lying. Casey wouldn’t do that. All this time, all those meetings they had, Casey inviting her here, being so sweet and kind even if she’s not fully sober. Did she really do this for a bet? Was she just being nice to win some money? She had to be joking, this was definitely a lie. But…it also made sense at the same time. The sudden interest in Alex, wanting her help to study even if she didn’t need it, her inviting her to the party, and coincidentally the bottle landing in them while she was distracted. They had planned this. She had fallen in Casey’s game. The thought made her feel sick to her stomach.

“Alex?” Casey placed her hand on Alex’s shoulder to get her attention. “You okay?”

Alex took a deep breath as she looked back at Casey, her eyes getting teary. “How much?”

Casey frowned. “What?”

“How much…was the bet?” Alex snapped, trying to hold back her tears as she stared at Casey.

Casey shook her head as she looked at Alex, confused. “I don’t…what bet?”

Alex scoffed. “I knew it was too good to be truth.” She grinned. “You, suddenly taking interest in someone like me. You also believe I’m nothing more than my name, right? Was it fun, Casey? To drag me into your stupid high school game so you could get some money?”

Casey placed the cups on the counter and looked back at Alex. “Alex, what are you talking about? I don’t think that. I-“

“Save it, Casey. I knew this was way too good to be truth. But don’t worry, the bet ended the moment you took me to the room, right? So whatever this was, ends here. I don’t wanna see you again.” Alex gave her a cold look before she walked away from Casey.

Casey frowned as she tried to follow Alex. “Alex! Wait!”

Just as Alex was walking to the door, she ran into Erin who was just coming down from the stairs, her laugh died the moment she saw the look on Alex’s face. “Alex?”

“Let’s go. P-Please.” Alex cried out.

Erin’s heart sank as she turned and saw Casey trying to get to them. “Let’s go.” She placed her hand on Alex’s back and they both walked out of the house as fast as they could. Leaving behind a confused Casey.

The whole ride back to Alex’s apartment was quiet, Alex staring at the window as she quietly cried, her arms wrapped around herself. Erin kept checking on her but decided to save her words, she knew Alex needed a moment to process whatever had happened back there. There had only been one time that she had seen Alex this way, and she thought she would never see her like this again, so it broke her heart. As they made their way to Alex’s apartment, Alex let out a heavy sigh and opened the door, letting Erin walk in first, followed by Alex. She closed the door behind her and leaned her head against it, her whole body shaking as she cried once again. Erin dropped her bag and walked to Alex, wrapping her in a tight hug as Alex sobbed, turning to vanish in her arms.

“Lex, what happened?” Erin whispered softly.

“I-“ Alex sobbed as she shook her head. “I was an idiot.”

Erin pulled away enough to look at Alex. “Did Casey did something to you?”

Alex looked at Erin at the mention of Casey, feeling her heart breaking even more. “I was a bet.”

Erin frowned. “What?”

“That bitch…the one I saw Casey with…she told me that there was a bet, and that’s why the sudden interest in me. I knew it was too good to be truth, Erin. I just knew it.” Alex cried out, covering her face.

Erin sighed loudly. “Lex, I’m so sorry.”

“It’s not your fault. I let myself fall.” Alex sobbed as she shook her head. “Why did this happen?” She whispered softly.

“I don’t know.” Erin kissed her head softly as she wrapped her in another hug.

********************

Alex walked through the hallway to get to her classroom, feeling like everyone was staring at her and were laughing at her. She was sure that half of the school already knew what had happened back there, and it now made sense why all of them were cheering for them to go upstairs. They were cheering for Casey to win the fucking bet and she was so proud of it. She played it so well that she was so ashamed of herself for not seeing it, focusing on how sweet, kind, and beautiful she was, it never crossed her mind that she could do this to Alex. After all, her assumption of Casey wasn’t entirely wrong. She was indeed a heartbreaker. Her trance was interrupted as she ran into someone, almost losing her balance and making her books fall to the floor.

“I’m sorry!”

Alex knelt to pick them up but the person in front of her got them before her, making her look up to find Casey in front of her. “It’s fine.” She snapped as she stood up, followed by Casey.

Casey handed her the books and nibbled on her lip for a moment. “Alex…”

“Save it.” Alex snapped as she looked at Casey for a moment before she walked away.

Casey sighed loudly as she kept walking. This was truly a nightmare for her. The fact that Alex really had believed everything that Rachel had dared to say hurt her and made her a bit upset, but she understood where Alex was coming from. The moment she laid eyes on Alex, she knew she was completely fucked, not being able to take her eyes away until she realized she was being a creep. For months she just stared at Alex and tried her best to always be the one taking their order. She cursed herself once she realized that she had gotten Alex’s order wrong the first time, so she learned it for her, and was happy whenever Alex showed up at the coffee shop. Taking a chance to talk to her had been a real challenge, thinking that Alex would completely push her away and ignore her, but was happy once she realized Alex might be interested in her too. But now, that was all gone.

Erin walked into the coffee shop and looked around, trying to find Casey who was behind the counter. She walked to her and leaned over the counter. “Can I talk to you?”

Casey looked up from her notebook and nodded. “I’m taking five!” She walked to the back door and walked to Erin, sitting with her at a table in the corner. “Erin-“

“What the fuck were you thinking? Are you seriously in middle school to make a fucking bet with my best friend?” Erin snapped, not giving Casey a chance to speak.

“Let me explain.” Casey sighed. “There was no bet. There never was.”

Erin frowned. “What?”

Casey bit her lip as she tried to hold back tears. “I never had the intention of hurting Alex. Everything I did, I did it because I wanted to. Because I had been looking at Alex for so long and I took my chance.” She shook her head as she looked at Erin. “I was never involved in any bet. Rachel was jealous when she found out I was into Alex. She’s-“ She scoffed. “She was fucking childish. I’m too old to do those fucking bets. I like Alex. I never meant to hurt her, or even take advantage of her.”

Erin sighed as she leaned back in the chair. “Well, shit.” She shook her head. “I knew Rachel was no good.”

Casey scoffed. “She thinks she can get whatever she wants.” She shook her head as she looked down at her hands. “And now Alex hates me.”

“She’s hurt, Casey.” Erin shrugged. “She really believed every word Rachel told her. Alex…she overthinks. She has anxiety. She couldn’t get in her head why you would be interested in her.”

Casey sighed. “But you believe me, right?” She looked back at Erin.

Erin offered a small smile. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone being so consistent with Alex. The way you two look at each other…nothing I had ever seen.” She shrugged. “I love Alex. But I believe you. And you gotta make this right, Casey.”

Casey nodded. “I know. But…she hasn’t been here in two weeks.”

“I can give you her address.” Erin shrugged. “She’ll probably kill me but…I hate seeing Alex so sad.”

Casey smiled. “I’d be forever thankful.”

Erin grinned. “And I thought this shit only happened in movies.” She got a piece of paper out of her bag along with a pen. “Our classes end at 4 pm. She should be home by 5 pm.” She handed it to Casey. “And you know better than to fuck this up, Casey.”

Casey nodded. “I know.”

********************

Alex groaned as she walked to the door. “Erin, I told you I wanted stay in today. I’m tired of you coming at this hour and trying-“ her voice died down as she opened the door and saw that it was not Erin.

“I’m…sorry. I just ended my shift, and I…couldn’t come earlier.” Casey offered a shy smile.

Alex shook her head. “What are you doing here?”

Casey sighed. “You’ve been avoiding me. And I want to talk to you.”

Alex scoffed. “Casey…seriously. We’re old enough to do this and-“

“And then you know I’m old enough to be doing some stupid things as getting involved in a high school bet.” Casey snapped.

Alex stared at her for a moment and sighed softly, stepping aside as she let Casey walk in. “Come on in.” She whispered softly.

“Thanks.” Casey said softly as she walked into the apartment. She turned to look at Alex and smiled a bit as she noticed she had never seen Alex dressing so comfortably.

Alex closed the door and turned to look at Casey, frowning. “What?”

Casey looked down at her hands as she smiled. “You uh…you look really cute.”

Alex tried to hide her smile as she crossed her arms. “Can I offer you a drink?”

“Are we switching roles now?” Casey grinned.

Alex couldn’t help but grin slightly. “Case…”

“I never meant to hurt you, Alex.” Casey said almost in a whisper. “There was never a bet.”

Alex sighed as she looked down at the floor. “Why should I believe you?” She then looked back up at Casey.

“Because I don’t lie.” Casey shook her head. “I know better than to lie. And I never once lied to you. I…” she scoffed. “Everything that Rachel said, it was all a lie. She was jealous. She hated the fact that I was falling for you, and that I was trying to get your attention, and I-“

“You’re falling for me?” Alex frowned.

Casey stared at Alex with wide eyes. “I- Alex. I uh-“ she cleared her throat. “I just-“

“Who’s nervous now?” Alex grinned.

Casey huffed a laugh. She looked at her hands for a moment and nibbled on her lip. “I really didn’t want to hurt you. I didn’t take you to the room because they were going to pay me.” She smiled shyly as she looked back at Alex. “Tina noticed you were distracted, everyone was drunk. I moved the bottle.”

Alex raised her brows, a smirk appeared on her face. “Makes sense.”

Casey laughed softly. “I was scared that you’d reject me. I didn’t want to take advantage of you. I just…really wanted to kiss you.” She smiled.

Alex tilted her head. “So no bet?”

Casey shook her head. “No bet. And yes…I am falling for you, since the first time I saw you, I knew I wanted to do anything in my power to get your attention.”

Alex smiled sadly, looking down again at the floor. “I really believed her.”

Casey walked slowly to Alex, her fingers going under her chin to make Alex look up at her, smiling softly as she fixed Alex’s glasses. “You look beautiful without glasses but…I really like to see you with them.”

Alex blushed slightly as she smiled. “You should be upset that I snapped at you, and that I didn’t believe you.”

“That’s childish. We’re both old enough for those games.” Casey grinned. “I’m sorry, Alex. I really am. But if you give me the chance…I want to make things right. I want to take you on a date.”

“You’re cheesy.” Alex smirked.

“And you like that, don’t you? It’s the type of thing you only see in movies.” Casey chuckled softly as she placed her hands on Alex’s neck.

“Yes. I want you to go on a date with you.” Alex smiled, placing her hands on Casey’s waist, and leaning in to kiss her lips softly.

Casey smiled for a moment against her lips, but brought their lips back together, the same butterflies as the first time showing up in her stomach.

…

“Cabot being the good girl and Novak being the tomboy.” Munch laughed along with Fin.

Alex rolled her eyes. “We stuck with our roles.” She smirked as she looked at Casey.

Casey shrugged. “And we made it work perfectly, even now after all these years.” She smiled as she leaned in and kissed Alex’s cheek, fixing her glasses. “Only took a date to have her wrapped around my finger.”

“Oh, says the one that was the cheesiest of the both of us. Bringing me chocolate croissants with my coffee, flowers almost every week, prepared unexpected dates.” Alex smirked.

“And you loved those. And still do.” Casey leaned in to peck her lips.

“Just get married already.” Elliot teased as he took a sip of his drink.

“This is really out of a movie, you two are too cliché.” Olivia chuckled as she looked at them.

“We wouldn’t want it any other way.” Alex grinned as she chuckled, rolling her eyes at the teasing.

#casey novak x alex cabot #casey novak #alex cabot #alexandra cabot #svu fic #law and order svu #svu #calex #casey novak fic #alex cabot fic

[x-liv25-jamieswife]

Hi i read your sad Grayson hcs and can you pls make Jamie's next thanx 💕💕

sad jameson head canons

YES! i love jamie sm, he's the best brother out of the four of them. this might resemble my sad grayson hcs post bc i find them quite similar at their core (i'm gonna make a post about that someday). again, trigger warning for self-harm and suicidal thoughts/attempts. pls don't read this if these things trigger you. i also got kind of tired near the end so the last ones aren't as good as the first ones. hope you like them<3

jameson used to watch his brothers and wonder if he actually belonged in the family with them.

he has random scars all over his body. he tells people they're from his many risky adventures but, in reality, they're self harm scars.

jameson, instead of denying himself food and water like grayson when gets self destructive, just does all of the risky shit he can come up with hoping one of those things would kill him.

when he was 16, he bought pills he was planning on overdosing on. on the day he was supposed to go through with it, though, nash surprised him with a day trip to the beach with his brothers. he had so much fun, he completely forgot about his plans. (there was a smiliar hc in the grayson post i think, but i actually think it might fit jamie better cause gray would feel like he couldn't leave all of his responsibilities behind)

he would use the shards of broken alcohol bottles he broke on purpose to cut himself.

when he gets mad at himself or anxious, he'll pull at his hair really roughly.

grayson once told him to kill himself as a joke, but jamie took it to heart and that's the reason why he has that really long scar on his chest (gray is basically the reason he jumped off of that cliff repeatedly until tobias caught him) (sorry grayson stans i still love gray though)

people who asked him out on dates always broke it off weeks later bc they found him plain and careless (which doesn't make sense bc he's not). jamie put everything he had in these relationships even if they only lasted like a week. they offered him nothing.

i mentioned this in my sad grayson hc post, but i feel like it applies to jamie more; jamie pisses people off on purpose to anger them and make them leave when he gets self-destructive. he secretly hopes someone will see through the act but they never do (except for avery, he doesn't treat her like shit though, but she knows when he does it to others)

jamie, as a kid, was convinced smth was wrong with him. he'd look in the mirror for hours on end wondering why it was so hard for people to love him and truly see him (and for him to love himself).

jamie saw a therapist for a while who prescribed him anti-depressants. she insisted he come back for more visits bc she was afraid he would off himself but he never did.

jamie wants help but doesn't think he deserves it. he thinks he's overreacting most of the time and won't let himself get better.

although it might not look like it, jamie actually tried really hard in school to measure up to xander and gray. he would study is ass off to get grades like xander's and grayson's (he was very very good in school, but never as good as his brothers, and that made him think of himself as unworthy)

jamie's waiting for the day that avery realizes that he's not good enough for her and leaves him, but she reassures him he's stuck with her.

when he gets mad at himself, he goes to their indoor gym and punches the punching bag repeatedly until his knuckles start bleeding (and even then, he might keep going)

he also takes scalding showers as a way to hurt himself (scalding as in might burn his skin off)

he's a nail biter. he also bites the skin around his cuticles when he's feeling really shitty.

he used to listen to the way his grandfather talked to/about his brothers and think that they'd be better off without him (tobias was never as kind to jamie as he was to his brothers).

ever since thea turned everyone against him at school, he sits in the back of the school library during lunch. he looks at the people hanging out with their friends whilst they eat wishing he could be more likeable.

he used to write letters to his father and give them to tobias hoping he'd send them to his father (he never did)

multiple times, while driving, he would consider purposely getting himself in a car crash to not have to deal with himself anymore

he used to ask nash if he was a good enough brother when he was younger. nash died a little bit inside every time.

jamie sometimes sits outside gray's door, crying, wishing he could someday be enough for him (gray in the first book is actually kind of a shit brother to jamie. he acts as if jamie is lesser than him and it pisses me off)

when jamie was younger, he would show grayson things that he did that he was proud of hoping grayson would be proud of him too. grayson thought he was being annoying (i love gray, don't get me wrong but i feel like he'd do this not knowing how much it meant to jamie...)

jamie never asks for help/advice bc he thinks of himself as a burden.

he used to steal stuff when he was little bc he was desperate to have smth that was actually his and not gray's. (emily, tobias' attention, etc were never actually his) (@catapparently came up with this one)

he doesn't believe people when they tell him they love him. he thinks they're bluffing/pitying him.

jameson accepts the bare minimum from people bc he believes no one would ever be willing to give him more than scraps of love.

whenever he has panic attacks, he bangs his head on walls to try to put an end to them. he ends up with big bruises on his forehead but pretends he got them from his adventures and shit.

he used to have nightmares a lot as a kid where the people he loved left him. when he would wake up from them, he would consider looking for his brothers for comfort but he never did bc he was scared that they would make his nightmares come true.

he hates being vulnerable bc every single time he's opened up to people, they either thought he was overreacting or didn't bother staying/helping him. whenever he saw them leave he would blame himself for being too much.

he practices his fake smiles in the mirror every morning. everyone sees through them except for avery.

he has this one blanket that he got as a child that he used to talk to when he needed to vent (he wouldn't vent to his brothers cause he didn't wanna bother them). tobias thought it was childish and threw it away. jamie didn't let anyone see, but he cried every night for a full month.

he had this tradition where he would cut himself whenever tobias called him ordinary or unworthy. the amount of scars on his body just discourages him and makes him hate himself even more.

a happier jamie head canon to end this:

he used to post tutorial on youtube when he was like 7. he had some for slime making, cartwheels, sand castle building etc. he actually had quite a large following bc he was a hawthorne. he always responded to fand and followed them back. the comments he'd receive always made him super happy (same, i love receiving comments, they make my day)

i know i've said this in every sad hcs post, but i feel the need to do it again. if you ever feel like life isn't worth living or just need help in general, pls reach out to a friend or a helpline. sending lots of love to everyone <3.

#the inheritance games #jameson hawthorne #grayson hawthorne #avery grambs #nash hawthorne #xander hawthorne #averyjameson

[aesfocus]

TW: ANIMAL DEATH

A tiny little celebration and recounting of this lil old lady, who passed away yesterday april 22 2024, 6 years to the day her adopted sister left the world.

Read on to learn about her adoption story and some of her fav things!

I made sure she had a comfortable lovely weekend, but she let me know it was time.

So who was Turtle?

In Aug 2010 I went to a local shelter and adopted 2 kitties. One a kitten we named Genki, and another a 1+ year old mystery owner surrender they named Hello Kitty.

She saw us and started yelling and slamming herself on the glass to show us how to pet her. She snugged onto my lap immediately in the little private room to meet her and I was in love instantly.

But back at home she was very scared. She hid under the couch for three days only peaking her head out to eat some food and then she went back in. This would be the last time in her life she would be shy, but I didn't know it so I named her...

Alligator Snapping Turtle; Turtle!

She quickly became my shadow. Clinging to me night and day. She would jump onto the back of my chair, lay on my back and slowly slide down towards my butt. She did this so frequently she managed to break the chair, eventually. After that all my chairs have been bought with more room for her to snug me. For a whole decade.

If someone visited, she would insist they hold her, or she'd sleep on them in their sleep. She once was held through a 3 hour long DnD session by someone she had just met; she loved people. Loved being pet, but above all, she adored me.

She had a specific meow for me, she spent every single night for nearly 14 years in between my legs, and unfortunately, as she got older she got separation anxiety real bad. She would cry and cry for about an hour each time I left. (I rarely do as I no longer work but even a trip to the grocery store did not leave her happy!) I know this because my husband had plenty of videos of her standing at the door hoping I would return.

No matter what I did in the house there she was.

But lets back up a moment, remember that bit about owner surrender? That intake form was interesting. with questions like "What is your pets favorite toy?" came answers like 'small glove'. She spent at least a year in someone with 7 children's garage. They fed her 'cheep food' and knew very little about her past other than they found her about a year prior. No judgements to them, but this girl was a lap cat to end lap cats. You would pick her up and move her to stand and she'd jump right back into your lap. She's dig her claws in if she thought you were trying to leave. She wanted the warmth god damn it!

Here is her on top my husband. Human's were good options.

Heat vent? Also a great option.

She would, when I worked, stay in bed in the covers right where I left her until I came home from work, all nice and cozy.

She loved it when my husband worked from home, gave her ample time to try and fry his laptop during his breaks or lunches.

But her fav place was on top of me. I set up my desk just for her actually! This big living room chair was purchased so she could always be near me.

Because the previous snug situation was not cutting it!

Here she is on the chair I bought for us.

She was never very photogenic, because she saw my hand and wanted pets. If I wasn't petting her she'd cry and show me how to pet her with her paws, or she'd flop around or rub herself on something and look up at me like 'come ooooonnn you know the good spots.'

Or she would do a 'turkey twerky'(where cats twitch their tails and step from foot to foot rapidly in excitement).

Her fav toy it turned out was not a 'small glove' but in fact the simple spring. Yellow was her fav color of the springs, but past that any small bit of plastic she could chase around and yell at was great. She was a very loud little lady!

I sang her a song daily for about ten years;

"Her name is turtle! and she's a turtle! And she's got a lot to say!"

after which she'd generally make a BIG meow and I'd give her tons of attention. Because she was my lil baby girl.

But her all time fav thing, beside me of course, was going outside. She didn't get to much as I believe in, and have, indoor only cats, but on special nice days we'd go outside and she'd gets some nice supervised time with the grass. (She made the other cats jealous because only she was let outside without a harness, but that's because if she wasn't in about a 2 foot radius of me she'd come back and yell at me to follow/I was able to out run her.)

Last year I had her shaved, because she was a fat cat who was struggling with cleaning herself so we were going to get on a rotation of shaving and baths and brushing to make sure she stayed nice and clean...

But unfortunately she began to drop in weight very quickly, the primary sign something was very wrong.

She was adopted on the same day as Genki, and six years to the day she passed on the same day as her sister. Genki lost a very long fight with a fungal pneumonia in 2018 and our hearts shattered and then yesterday they did it again.

If Turtle was my heart, my little shadow, then Genki was my husband's.

Turtle was such an amazing good friend, I have so many memories of her and it doesn't seem real that she's gone. But I wanted to keep this light, and positive, and so I will end it with, adopt.

Don't shop, adopt. You never know who is waiting for you in a shelter, what kind of very full wonderful life you can provide each other! Hello Kitty became Turtle and she knew that name, she'd come running any time I called, she was my very best friend and I miss her so fucking much.

#tw: animal death #tw; animal passing #turtle #mine cats #cats #cutie pies #a farewell #pls be respectful and don't rebagel it thank you

[looneyleyle]

the self-destructive habits of a hopeless romantic ~ j. hughes

synopsis: monetizing one's self-sabotaging habits, surprisingly, has its downfalls. one of them being leaving that one attractive hockey player that is an absolute gentleman who loves you with his whole entire heart.

warnings: self-sabotage, self-deprecation, angsty (but with happy ending)

word count: 3425 words

note: once again unedited but i wanted to get this one out there

???'s pov

time and time again, the world has seen the self destructive habits of humans. well, that makes it seem serious. the world has seen the countless missed opportunities due to a fear of another's reaction. the world has seen the blunders due to saving face. the world has seen the heartbreaks due to miscommunication. time and time again, the world has seen how people sabotage their own lives for the dumbest reasons.

esther graham was no different.

in fact, she capitalized on her ability to put herself into the worst emotional distress possible. every heartbreak produced a great work of literature that would nearly sell out in bookstores all over the northeast. she wasn't a new york times best seller by any means, but she was a small town writer from mont vernon, new hampshire. she made a name for herself during her time at hamilton college in their creative writing program. in her junior year of college, she published her first book, woes of a teenage failure, a novel following what could have been for a young college drop out named sophia. the book was a hit amongst her peers and professors, and by word of mouth, ended up selling 200 copies. the book, as ms. graham remarked, was her own "what-if" story, as she almost dropped out of college the beginning of her sophomore year.

and how do i know so much about ms. graham?

well, because i am ms. esther graham.

and i'm here to tell you all about the biggest blunder of my life.

after my first book, i hit major writing block. i would stare at my computer screen for hours just to delete the only three words that i could come up with. i would sit in coffee shops, pen in hand, ready for inspiration to strike, and yet, nothing. i was nearing the end of my college career, riding on the coattails of my first and only book's success, and couldn't figure out how to continue. my professors taught me plenty of ways to try and combat writer's block, but nothing worked.

until i met ryan. a devilishly handsome man all the way from the cheese state of wisconsin, who was meeting up with some college friends for the annual boston beanpot. we had our meet cute at a nearby pizza joint, in which i sat down and started chatting with him, thinking he was a publisher that i was supposed to meet with. after realizing my blunder when he had absolutely no idea what an anthology was, he asked if i wanted to join him and his friends at the beanpot, as one of their friends had cancelled, leaving them with an extra ticket.

ryan and i dated for four months. we would take turns traveling between my college in new york and his in wisconsin until eventually it became too much, or should i say, too little for him, and he broke it off. in my rage and complete depression from the breakup, i wrote my next hit, until the sun sets, a 142-page anthology of gut-wrenching poems, which was eventually integrated into hamilton college's curriculum for their young adult modern literature class. i was quite proud of that.

after that, i found myself yet again staring at blanks screens and empty notepads.

that is, until chloe. a beautiful new york native whom i had actually met while dating ryan. she was a hostess at a restaurant ryan and i would always go to. she was pursuing her masters in psychology, which gave me fascinating insights and tactics to use in my books. we were never officially together, but we had something for almost three months before she was whisked off by some californian named ella. i never saw her again, which prompted my next book, the ninth floor, a murder mystery following a closeted lesbian couple in 1940's hollywood (it was one of the girlfriends the whole time).

at this point, when i hit a creative block for the third time, i realized that i needed my heart or brain to be in absolute shambles in order to produce my best work. i needed to be at some sort of life crisis, and the easiest way to do so was to love another and let that love be ripped out of your life.

so, i began dating for the sake of my career. it was like i sought out the most manipulative, scummy people in the world who were able to get away with it just because they were attractive. over the course of a year, my first year out of college, i dated a total of three men and one woman, and poured my emotions out into a collection of short stories titled lavender.

and that was when i met jack.

i was in new jersey for a book signing at this little bookstore which, as it turns out, was right by the prudential center. as i left the bookstore, i was nearly run over by an overly excited man-child with a giant bag slung upon his shoulder.

"luke, watch out, you nearly killed that woman!" a voice yelled from where the man came from.

"i'm so sorry about that miss, my brother can get a bit overexcited sometimes." looking at the person talking to me, i found a young, very attractive brunet with the most adorable smile. i straightened myself up instinctively, wanting to appear presentable.

"no worries. if you don't mind me asking, what got him so riled up that he almost trampled me?" the man let out a laugh at my statement.

"of course, we owe you at least that much for your near-death experience. he just got nominated for the calder trophy." he explained, as if those words meant anything to me. seeing my blank stare, he clarified. "a rookie of the year award. we play for the new jersey devils." the boy in question came up and joined us, grinning ear to ear.

"ahhh, i see. i'm not a big hockey watcher, which i know is absolute blasphemy for someone who grew up in new hampshire." his jaw nearly dropped.

"you're from up here and don't like hockey? we have to change that." he exclaimed. in my peripheral vision, i could see his brother trying to hide his laughter at his brother's forwardness.

"ill have to come and watch a game sometime." i mused.

"we have a game coming up next week against the blue jackets. i could maybe snatch you a seat in exchange for your number." he proposed. his brother snorted at that, having to turn around to hide his obvious laughter. the man paid his brother no mind, just looking at me with a big smile on his face.

"trying to bribe me mister?"

"is it working?" i put my hand out and he immediately put his phone in my hand, adding my information into his contacts.

"esther? that's nice, you look like a esther." i quirked an eyebrow at him, but continued on anyways.

"and you? what should i call you?"

"call me yours. or jack, either works." the brother was doubled over on the floor at this point, jack finally acknowledging him by kicking him slightly, making him fall over.

"anyways, ms. esther, we have to get going, but ill see you next week at our game." he put out his hand for me to shake.

"you've got yourself a deal jack."

and just like that, jack and i started talking. his eagerness was cute, he texted me no more than ten minutes after meeting me. we talked every day, mainly on calls, asking each other questions and such to get to know each other.

and sure enough, the next week, i found myself back in new jersey watching the brothers play. i assumed jack was going to be some sort of benchwarmer or something, but that didn't seem to be the case. despite my lack of hockey knowledge, i could tell the boy was good, and he had quite a fan base if the amount of women wearing his jersey meant anything. and i felt severely out of place, simply wearing a grey sweater and jeans, unlike everyone else in the stands, decked out in red.

after that, i found myself going to a couple more hockey games, for no particular reason. jack would try to explain the game over video calls and our occasional coffee meet ups, but i couldn't for the life of me wrap my head around it. why do they all get off the ice every five seconds? and what the hell is offsides?? jack always laughed at my confusion, telling me that i'd get it one day.

we spent a couple months thriving off of video chats and once-in-a-blue-moon hangouts, until i got a job as an editor for a local paper. i was good at editing, always having good grammar and an eye for design, but it wasn't my dream. despite it not being my dream, i needed a stable income, and fast. my mind was devoid of ideas, and it didn't seem like that would change any time soon.

plus, it helped that this stable income happened to be in new york city, putting me a lot closer to a certain someone. and, with me being closer, that certain someone would pop on by a lot more than before. and eventually, chinese takeout dinners turned into staying the night, which turned into coming up for the weekend, which turned into the line of friendship being crossed into something more.

and then, i made the dumbest mistake of my life.

i let him go.

now, i know what you must be thinking. he must have done something wrong, he must have cheated or neglected me or done something so completely unforgivable that i would just throw away the most amazing thing in my life. and i wish i was here to tell you that was the truth.

but it wasn't.

jack was nothing but a gentleman, and i was just a broken girl doing the only thing i knew how to do: leave. i like to tell myself that it was for my career, that i needed to write another book, that i wasn't fulfilled in my job and that i was putting myself first by doing this, but i was perfectly content with my life. i was an editor for a major publishing company, i started writing little happy poems about my mundane life with jack, and wanted nothing more. i had no reason to run away. i just woke up in his bed one day and realized that i wanted to spend the rest of my life with him, and i couldn't accept that. i had gotten so used to leaving people that i assumed that they would leave me if i hadn't done so first, and i couldn't lose the one real thing i ever had.

so naturally, my self-destructive, self-sabotaging self let him go, the exact opposite of what i wanted.

and when i got back to my apartment after writing jack a confusing and half-assed letter, i cried. i cried and cried and cried, and i always wrote about characters crying until they couldn't anymore, but that day, i couldn't find the end to my tears. for hours tears would either slowly leak or violently pour from my eyes, and they never did end, not even when i passed out on my couch from exhaustion.

and after a week, i was expecting to pick myself up and start writing my next best seller, coping with my writing. but i sat there, and my florescent computer screen simply sat there, staring back at me. and when i left my apartment for a change of scenery, the blank pages of my notebook mocked me. i flipped through past works, all of them being little poems about jack, and the waterworks continued, right in the middle of a starbucks.

after a week and four days, i couldn't take it. i had to make things right, i had to at least see him. it always worked in the books, right? someone makes a huge mistake, they break up, they see each other again and realize they're both miserable without each other and then get back together and live happily ever after.

when i knocked on the door to jack's apartment, i was met with an unimpressed looking luke. at the sight of him, the waterworks started up again.

"you're an idiot, you know that?" i nodded furiously at this, sobs wrecking through my body. i couldn't see through the tears in my eyes, but i could tell the luke hadn't moved a muscle.

"he deserved better and you know that." i felt my soul being crushed. "i mean, a letter? seriously esther? and a half-assed one at that. i know damn well you don't have a degree in creative writing for that bullshit."

i opened my mouth to explain, but nothing came up. what would i say, that i was a broken person? cop out. that i did it to everyone? not much better. that i got scared? fucking coward.

"if you think that you deserve to see my brother, then i'll let you in." he told me, moving out of the way, door open wide. i just stood there, staring at him through teary eyes. my brain cheered, finally able to go in, but my feet wouldn't move.

my heart still clenched and ached, and with every thought of moving forward, into that apartment, it hurt more. jack didn't deserve this. after all the nights of him reading my poems about him and praising my work, after all the sweet things he'd say when i was down, after all the little acts of kindness he showed me, after all the love he poured into us, he didn't deserve to be broken by me. hurt people hurt people, the scholars had that right. he didn't deserve to be broken.

and so, i got ready to leave, again.

"i'm sorry." was all i said, turning around with heavy legs and a heavy heart. i heard luke let out a sigh as i walked away, closing the door behind him.

a couple of days went by and i found myself back at their apartment. i knew they wouldn't be there, they had an away game in anaheim the night before, and i knew from my time with jack that they would always spend the night in the city before coming back, especially after a win, a 5-0 win no less.

i stood there in front of their door, a small box in my hands, contemplating. jack didn't deserve this, but a selfish part of me needed this. i placed the box gingerly outside of their door and left the building. if the box was taken by some nosy neighbor, or thrown in the trash by some janitor, then it would be fate. it would be a sign to move on. but, there was a chance that jack and luke would come back to their apartment, and would pick up the box, and jack would recognize my handwriting. and, instead of throwing the box in the trash like any normal self-respecting person receiving a box from their shitty ex, he would take it to his room, and open it up to see my notebook, with a bookmark starting at the pages when i first started seeing him. and he would read the poems and maybe, just maybe, he'd see the note written on the bookmark to meet me at the park near his apartment, and maybe, just maybe, he'd be willing to hear me out.

i went to that park every single day for exactly one month and six days, always arriving by 1 pm, never late. and i would stay there until 4 pm, waiting.

on the 37th day, i was sitting there, editing, funnily enough, a sports column about the recent devils and islanders game. i watched it, absolutely terrible game it was, the islanders beating the devils for the first time in the season. our sports journalist, while passionate and very knowledgeable about seemingly every sport out there, had a knack for writing long, run-on sentences that reflected his rambling nature. as i sat there on the same park bench i had been sitting on for the previous 36 days, a figure stopped in front of me. i finished up the sentence i was working on before looking up.

and while i hate cliches, the wind was absolutely knocked out of my lungs.

"h-hey jack." i started, immediately putting away my work, giving him my full attention.

"hey esther." a shiver ran down my spine from him just saying my name. it had been so long, and while it lost its loving tone, i welcomed it with open arms. jack moved, taking the spot next to me, looking out at the trees in front of us. when it became apparent he wasn't going to say anything, i started the conversation.

"i see you read the notebook."

"i finished it three weeks ago." he replied, voice lacking its usual emotion. tears welled up in my eyes. three weeks.

"oh."

"i came here immediately after finishing it." i felt my eyes bulge out of their sockets at that. he continued, "i went to that bench over there and watched as you fidgeted in your spot, looking frantically at everyone who passed by. i watched the next day as you sat in the pouring rain with no umbrella. i sat over on that bench every day that i was here since reading your notebook."

a silence fell upon us, my mind reeling, trying to figure out what he was trying to say, from his emotionless face to the fact that he came.

"do you know how much it hurt? waking up to empty sheets and some half-assed note with the lamest excuses on earth?" i hadn't really paid mind to the tears rolling down my cheeks until he brought that up, sending me back to that morning, quickly scribbling out some gibberish before leaving the best part of my life behind.

"i was going to wait another month, y'know. to see if you were still gonna come here every day."

"so why didn't you?" i asked, sniffling intensely, trying to calm down my sobs.

"luke said i was absolutely miserable without you. coach told me i wasn't focused. my teammates pointed out that i barely left my apartment. the icing on the cake was when my mom started asking if you would be coming over to the lakehouse this summer. i realized, as pathetic as it seems, that i can't live without you."

my attempts at stopping my crying were thrown out the window at that. i could probably fill the hudson river with the amount of tears i had shed over the past two months.

"how can i make it up to you. please, please let me make it up to you." i begged, fully facing him, my hands angrily playing with the sleeves of my shirt because if i didn't, i would be reaching out to the man in front of me.

"never pull that shit again." he bargained, looking me dead in the eyes for the first time in months. and in that moment, i saw just how bad he was doing. sunken eyes with heavy bags, his skin dull, hair slightly unkempt under his hat.

"never again." i promised, putting out my pinky to him, something he would always do when he promised me to not get hurt in games. he let out a hoarse laugh, looking away from me, and when he looked back, i saw the tears brewing in his eyes. he took my pinky in his and held it there, between us.

"now, i'm not gonna just take you right back after all that. that was really shitty and i need some time to get over that. but, as i've found out, i can't really function without you. so maybe you could start with coming to my games again, and i could take you out for coffee next week."

"sounds perfect."

i accepted my life as an editor for the local newspaper, accepted that i probably wouldn't write another page-turning sell-out book, accepted that i was completely content with whatever happened to me, so long as jack was there with me.

and with that, my self-destructive, soul-crushing, heart-breaking tendencies reached their end.

#jack hughes #jack hughes x oc #new jersey devils #fanfic

[simplegenius042]

Music Monday

Tagging @socially-awkward-skeleton @direwombat @adelaidedrubman @strangefable @strafethesesinners @josephslittledeputy @josephseedismyfather @cassietrn @g0dspeeed @aceghosts @turbo-virgins @starsandskies @shellibisshe @wrathfulrook @carlosoliveiraa @rhettsabbott @onehornedbeast @voidika @imogenkol @yokobai @derelictheretic @minilev @shallow-gravy @titiagls @afarcryfrommymain @megraen @softtidesworld @inafieldofdaisies @purplehairsecretlair @florbelles @ladyoriza @la-grosse-patate @skoll-sun-eater @cloudofbutterflies92 @red-nightskies @sleepyconfusedpotato and @thewanderer-000 + anyone else who wants to join in.

Three songs for one OC (or rather one group), one WIP and on companionships. Respectively for Wings And Horns, A Radioactive Calamity Of Love, Bombs & Gore and The UnTitledverse. Listen and read below:

Wings And Horns is an Original Work I'm planning to write, which involves a pair of angels chasing after a pair of extremist demons who are trying to destroy the "Soulmate System"; a divine system designed to romantically pair souls together throughout lifetimes and reincarnation. Archangel Metatron and his companion, an Angel of Death named Azriel, are tasked with preserving the system, while a Demon from the Sloth Ring known as Xiang Ba'al and his adopted daughter, a Sinner soul by the name of Jezebel, start a campaign to abolish the Soulmate System due to the flaws that had personally affected Jezebel. "Carousel" encapsulates everyone's place in the system, how while it is well-meaning and capable of bringing joy to some, it does leave others at a disadvantage and gives a lack of choice in their destinies.

"'Round and 'round like a horse on a carousel, we go Will I catch up to love? I could never tell, I know Chasing after you is like a fairytale, but I Feel like I'm glued on tight to this carousel

Come, come one, come all You must be this tall To ride this ride at the carnival

Oh, come, take my hand And run through playland So high, too high at the carnival

And it's all fun and games 'Til somebody falls in love But you've already bought a ticket And there's no turning back now

'Round and 'round like a horse on a carousel, we go Will I catch up to love? I could never tell, I know Chasing after you is like a fairytale, but I Feel like I'm glued on tight to this carousel

This horse is too slow We're always this close Almost, almost, we're a freakshow

Right, right when I'm near It's like you disappear Where'd you go? Mr. Houdini, you're a freakshow

And it's all fun and games 'Til somebody falls in love But you've already bought a ticket And there's no turning back now

'Round and 'round like a horse on a carousel, we go Will I catch up to love? I could never tell, I know Chasing after you is like a fairytale, but I Feel like I'm glued on tight to this carousel

Why did you steal my cotton candy heart? You threw it in this damn coin slot And now I'm stuck, I'm stuck Riding, riding, riding

'Round and 'round like a horse on a carousel, we go Will I catch up to love? I could never tell, I know Chasing after you is like a fairytale, but I Feel like I'm glued on tight to this carousel."

Next song I'd say is less for the OC in The UnTitledverse I chose this for, by the name of Madame Callaghan, who is the director of C.Y.P.R.U.S, a multiverse organization that kidnaps children and trains them to be assassins and hitmen (amongst other unfavorable things), but more so for both Madame Callaghan and her expectation and relationship with her "children" as well; Mordecai (The Huntsman), Urijah (The Nihilist), Theodore or rather Theo (The Copycat) and lastly Candace (The Combatant). I tried to encompass the main figureheads of C.Y.P.R.U.S with this one.

"Time of the essence Do not let me down (Down) So many people in one place It's time for us to make a presence

Time is of the essence I won't let you down (Down) So many people in one place Oblivious, just like you say

So just trust me this one time I know you won't regret it I know you are sick, but so am I

And I will be there for you Through time as it tick, tick, ticks

And I will be there for you Through time as it tick, tick, ticks

And I will be there for you

My darling, I know there's certain things that you should know I know this comes with a price that I'm willing to pay Be ready Something terrible is coming (something terrible is coming) (Tick, tick, tick, tick)

Everything I've worked for, and everything I do You know that there's a reason that I do these things for you I do it for the thrill, I do it for the fun You've taught me there's a twisted usefulness in everyone Let me prove my point, it will not disappoint Just give me the word, I am ready, I am poised Isn't this what a true friend would do? I promised I would be there for you."

This song relates to Marissa "Ress" Bishop and Ortega "Ore" Brantley's bond with their Fallout companions in A Radioactive Calamity Of Love, Bombs & Gore. Ore has been around long enough to make companions during the events (though slightly altered) of Fallout (1997), 2, 3 and New Vegas, while Ress has been around to bond with her companions in Fallout 3, New Vegas and 4. After Fallout (1997) and Fallout 2, Ore takes an "keep at arms length" approach with human companions in 3 and New Vegas, because he's outlived the likes of Elrand Brant (The Vault Dweller), Ian, Tycho, Katja and likely John Cassidy and Vic as well (either to age or circumstances) including Elrand's granddaughter Finidy Mona (The Chosen One), whom had been killed by Ore's father, Arcane Urias. Ore mostly connects with non-human companions as they are either a Ghoul or a Super Mutant and have a longer lifespan, until he makes a connection with Ryder (Courier Six). Meanwhile, Ress has the luck of gaining companions and keeping in contact with them in less than a decade, and due to her upbringing with the Bishop Crime Family, has a need to socialize and keep her companions close. She understands that due to her father, Urias', biology she'll likely outlive most others just like Ore, so she takes it upon herself to make as much meaningful relationships as possible to remember fondly over. The reason Ore and Ress gravitate towards these companions is either due to a sentimental reason or even because nearly all companions are as odd and outcasted as the brother and sister are.

"Hey, everybody loses it Everybody wants to throw it all away sometimes And hey, yeah, I know what you're goin' through Don't let it get the best of you You'll make it out alive

Oh, people like us, we've got to stick together Keep your head up, nothin' lasts forever Here's to the damned, to the lost and forgotten It's hard to keep high when you're living on the bottom

Oh, whoa, oh, whoa We're all misfits living in a world on fire Oh, whoa, oh, whoa Sing it for the people like us, the people like us

Hey, this is not a funeral It's a revolution after all your tears have turned to rage Just wait, everything will be okay Even when you're feelin' like it's goin' down in flames, oh."

#music monday #wip: wings and horns #oc: archangel metatron #oc: azriel #oc: xiang ba'al #oc: jezebel ba'al #the untitledverse #oc: madame callaghan #oc: mordecai callaghan #oc: urijah callaghan #oc: theodore “theo” callaghan #oc: candace callaghan #c.y.p.r.u.s #series: a radioactive calamity of love bombs & gore #fallout #oc: ortega “ore” brantley #oc: marissa “ress” bishop #fallout companions